#but there's also joy in knowing the people you love are doing what's best for them however they can
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I'm reading Life in Code by Ellen Ullman, writings on tech and philosophy.
I love the chapter "Is Sadie the Cat a Trick?", where Ullman talks of the 19 years she had with her cat Sadie, and - while reflecting on Artificially Intelligence - wonders whether the relationship between them was an illusion.
Was Sadie merely behaving according to her "programming"? Was Ullman merely imagining sentience?
Ullman considers various aspects of her relationship with Sadie. First, companionship. Second, familiarity:
[H]er coming to meet me at the door (even when her bowl was full, so it was not in the hope of getting dinner). There was mutual recognition of ritual: I knew the time of day when she moved to her favourite chair to take the sun, so I anticipated it and raised the shade. She knew I wrote in the morning, and, before I got to the desk, she was lying on her pillow by the heater, which had not yet been turned on. If it were just warmth she'd wanted, she could have stayed in bed with Elliot, who was living with me by then. Instead, she decided she would wait for me by a cold heater.
I love this paragraph very much. This reflection on the familiar behaviour of a pet, ostensibly to work out if there's a difference between a pet and sufficiently advanced AI. But also, it seems to me that this is an investigation into love itself.
Did Ullman's cat love her? Do any of our pets love us?
Instinctively, we think "yes". Ullman has applied a programmer's mind - and a philosopher's mind - to the question:
Companionship, familiarity, expectation, mutual recognition, bodily comfort: if this is not a definition of love between aging creatures, I don't know what is.
I'm away from home for a few days, with gigs in London and Birmingham. I always miss my wife when I'm away, and this essay hasn't helped at all thank you.
It makes me think of our own rituals. Sometimes - not often - I'm awake before Elanor. I know what time her alarm will go off, so I join her in bed a minute before, so she wakes up gently to a cuddle before the cold brutality of the alarm. When I'm working in the study, Elanor will sometimes open the door a crack, and wait to be invited in.
This is the difference between love and programming. Last time I was away, Elanor defrosted the freezer - an accomplishment of immense bravery and determination. She didn't tell me this, but when I came home she challenged me to work out what chore she'd done while I was away - knowing that, letting me discover this action by opening the freezer would be the best possible way for me to find out she'd done this.
How did Elanor know this? We've been together 20 years this month. Perhaps she reflected on the fact that I'm delighted by surprise, and by playfulness. Maybe she thought about the way I like stories - and that investigating the house, searching for new jobs completed, would give me the thrill of an adventure. It's possible she considered my love of novelty and shared experiences - and came up with this way of presenting her accomplishment according to these principles; these techniques for controlling the reveal.
All of this *could* be true. That Elanor consciously processed, analysed the data. Her understanding of me. Maybe, perhaps, possibly.
But I think she just knew.
Familiarity. Expectation. Recognition. Love between aging creatures!
People are so excited that generative AI can produce ugly pictures and bland copy. But I don't think it would curl up in front of a cold heater in an empty study.
Because any relationship with a program is an illusion. It isn't love. Because love isn't defrosting the freezer. Love is defrosting the freezer while your partner's away, anticipating their response, looking forward to their joy.
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i'm always a sucker for the take that Ford does love kids, he's just not the best caretaker. i mean, he's immediately delighted to learn he's an uncle in tale of two stans, and he loves spending time with Dipper and Mabel, he's just kind of dense.
i think aus where he gets to be a dad with Fiddleford are so cute. and so interesting to see how he'd handle it. people always seem to forget what a softie he can be
Oh yes! It kind of bugs me how a lot of people act like Ford is cold when he really isn't. There are lots of little examples of him being an absolute sweetheart. He talks a big game about being logical and suppressing fear etc, but he's a deeply emotional person, and that comes through in his more personal journal entries. He's not some heartless robot. He loves sharing his joy and excitement with the people close to him. He craves human connection even though he's bad at it. He gets attached to weird little creatures like Shifty, he loves his niece and nephew and is genuinely happy to meet them. Not to mention Ford loves weirdness and creativity and kids are the weirdest most creative demographic of people out there.
I don't think Ford dislikes kids at all. I think his lack of emotional intelligence and tendency to be lost in his own world makes him a questionable caretaker. Not through apathy or malice, he's just kind of bad with kids. Making him a father is really interesting for this reason because I'm confident he'd love the shit out of his kids, but learning how to respond appropriately to their needs, keep them safe, and pay attention consistently when needed, would all be things he'd struggle with.
Ford also says as much in his journal that he didn't want to settle down and "start a family". I don't think he ever saw kids of his own as part of his future nor do I think he'd ever consciously choose to have them. That said these are the words of a young Ford with grand ambitions that children would have potentially gotten in the way of. I also think the way he shuts down the idea of "starting a family" is a response to the social pressure to get straight married which is also not something he would have wanted. I mean look how well that worked out for Fidds :/
But Ford's whole character arc is about humbling himself. Learning to let go of this fantasy of some grand destiny and find joy in just living life with the people he cares about. He learns to accept the love of others and to love himself without needing to prove anything.
Pictured above, is a combination of sleep deprivation and those little moments when you're a new parent and it dawns on you yet again that suddenly you have this tiny little human who's who world depends on you. That mix of fear and awe and overwhelming love that hits you in waves and turns your brain into mush for a moment.
Nik and Newt force Ford to put someone else over himself, forcing him to reassess his priorities much sooner.
Also I know this one wasn't really an ask but I really wanted to draw something for you because it was soooooo good seeing a real ask in my inbox. I would absolutely love to answer any asks people have about this AU. I'd love to draw more of Ford, Fidds, Stan, and the twins but it gets hard to decide what to draw with so many ideas in my brain. By all means, send me asks or suggestions for drawings and I'll do my best to respond to all of them.
#ford^2#fiddauthor#ford pines#stanford pines#young ford pines#au#fiddleford hadron mcgucket#shifter twins au#papa ford au#nikola pines-mcgucket#newton pines-mcgucket#gravity falls#gravity falls au
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I NEED MORE BURNED CHEESE CONTENT, could you please feed this poor hungry soul some burning cheese kids? Imagine the SUPER protective burn during Golden's pregnancy, or, or helping her with the children's dough (and already planning the next children)
The kids will be here soon, I promise :( they're at school right now, Spice and Golden have to go pick them up. It won't be too long. (I have something important to do irl and that takes priority. I'm hoping I have time at the end of this week to sit down and try to draw them. Everything else is ready, their characters sheets are done, got their whole lives on lock lol. All that's missing is to put them on paper. I only have about half a gram of artistic talent so I'll really be pushing myself here... but I want you all to see them really badly, so I'm happy to do it haha)
I don't have to imagine anything, I'm already there with you, buddy :') I hc them as already married by the time the kids come along, and yeah... Spice is SUPER overprotective lol. Very, very gentle and doting, but fiercely protective and downright hostile towards literally everyone else as a consequence of that protectiveness. He won't leave her side unless absolutely necessary, and he'll be snapping at whoever forced him to leave her and then rushing back to her as soon as he can. (She feels kind of claustrophobic at times, because he literally becomes her shadow during those 9 months lol.) But really, he's at her beck and call from beginning to end. She's craving something? He gets it for her. She's sore? Hugs and massages and nice baths. She's tired? He carries her to bed and doesn't allow anyone to bother her for any reason for the whole rest of the day. She can't sleep? He's up with her all night, talking to her and soothing her and doing whatever he can to lull her back to sleep because she needs all the rest she can get. He's Peak Husband during this time lol.
(He's just... beyond happy. I also hc this as being after Spice has redeemed himself and been accepted back into society, but still not having 100% let go of his dark past (which he never truly will, you can never fully forget something like that, unfortunately). So really, he takes this as one of the greatest rewards for his change of heart that he's ever gotten, and as a sign that he really has become better. The day Golden came to him and told him she was pregnant was the best day of his whole, entire life. He fell to his knees and cried when she told him. Not only has he managed to forsake his destructive nature and instead create something, but he's engaged in the most profound act of creation there is: he helped create a life. And he created this precious life with the woman he loves, who helped kickstart his journey to redemption in the first place. It just shows how far he's come, you know? From a cruel tyrant to a beloved king to two peoples... from a bloodthirsty psychopath destined to live and die alone to a much more even-tempered man who has atoned for his sins and learned to be a good friend and person again, as well as became a beloved husband and father... still a force for destruction, but now in a positive way, not a negative one. It's been a very long road, but it really feels like he reached the end, and this victory is sweeter than any he's had before.)
...And same thing if they're cookies, honestly lol. Peak Husband. Burning Sweetheart Cookie here, jumping for joy when Golden tells him she wants a child. He goes hunting for a Witch Oven of his own accord, going to quite literally every corner of the earth until he finds one, then they go to it and he's just like a kid on Christmas Day lol. They're making the batter together and he's just grinning that big, pointy grin he's got, beaming like the sun. How much of his dough should they mix in? How much of hers? What will happen, what sort of child will they create? Golden thinks he's so cute lol. He won't even sit still while the kid is baking in the oven; if he's not pacing back and forth in anticipation, he's picking Golden up and swinging her around and smothering her with kisses, and going on and on and on about how great the kid will be and how they'll be a fine warrior just like him and Golden. He's yanking the oven door open as soon as that timer goes off and they both hear crying... she has to tell him to slow down so they can both take the baby out together (he was so excited that he was just going to do it by himself lol)
TL;DR: The woobification of Burning Spice Cookie on this blog is complete, he is now Burning Sweetheart Cookie, reformed villain who loves his bird wife and their babies with all of his spicy heart
And to feed you a bit of extra content (and to keep everyone on the edge of their seats), I shall feed you a bit of information about the kiddies:
There are two of them, a son and a daughter. The son is the older one by a few years
I did research and took inspiration from both Egyptian and Hindu mythology for their design and some of their personality traits (I will explain this in detail soon. I actually really enjoyed learning about these religions, even if for a ridiculous reason, and I look forward to rambling about all the little bits and pieces of myths I cobbled together to make these two lol)
Each one resembles a parent quite a bit (but I will not specify which child looks like which parent yet)
One of them has wings like Golden Cheese does
Something really bad happens to the son in the future
Here are their soulstone descriptions, because yes, I really did go above and beyond creating these little guys lol
"This stone holds a piece of [REDACTED]'s soul. It feels warm and light, like a rare, refreshing breeze on a desert morning... But is that a single grain of self-doubt, nestled deep within its core?"
"This stone holds a piece of [REDACTED]'s soul. Though it burns very hot and bright, and feels difficult to handle at first, the kindness and unyielding strength resonating from within are nevertheless unmistakable."
#cookie run kingdom#burning spice cookie#golden cheese cookie#burningcheese#goldenspice#burning spice crk#golden cheese crk
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why jeanswest is kinda competing with bottled joy as a cpf favorite…
disclaimer before we start — i think these are mostly coincidence. i’m sure brands know the target market and are aware of cpfs but whether they try and appeal to us by bringing out specific products is something no one can confirm. so let’s start with the brand itself, which is mainly owned by a hongkong based company and this is why it has this kind of presence in China. i don’t see any of their captions or marketing on weibo being seen as targeted to cpfs. the examples people are pointing out so far are actual products you can see on their official taobao store.
this started with their 10:05 kadian and allegations of feeding cp because of their little prince and tennis designs which I talked about here.
&& then most recently, fans noticed that they have a couple hoodie ( photo on the left ) with the word (我们) as in We/Us — which is very applicable right now since it’s related to XZ’s album. and the design even has that element of sunrise, you want to watch the sunrise? tho xzwyb are more of sunsets. lol.
tho i have to say the brand has a selection of similar couple themed wear. and tbh, the we/us is being used here in the romantic sense cause there’s quite a number of c-ent couples who used this in their caption when officially announcing their relationship on weibo. so JW is most likely referring to that rather than a nod to XZ. we have to realize that he doesn’t own that word. 😂😂😂😂
but i understand why this is 👀 to cpf because of other cp-esque friendly (allegedly) designs from the past.. and it’s a lot….
these ones don’t need much explanation cause for a cpf, you can see it. the shirt with lion + rabbit. the red rabbit shirt. turtle. 95. guangdian colors and with a romantic print/words. x and w with 9 and 5. etc.
now i bring more examples that are also gonna alert cpfs! and this is why i say that these are most likely coincidences. that we, as cpfs, will gravitate towards designs and symbols that speak to us. we do this with other brands and i think that JW just happened to have a lot of these designs that appeal to us. or maybe their designer is a CPF lol.
( paper plane and bunny, 23 which is love zhan in red and green, mountain/camping and the heart gesture they did while filming )
another one is JW and MIIOW which are two separate companies and brands with what looks like identical products. this is kinda problematic tho on their end, so i don’t see this as cpn.
AND EVERYONE’S FAVE IS THIS. The Z shirt, in a writing that is the same XZ’s art signature.
so there you go 🫶🏼
it’s pretty interesting and i’m happy for cpfs who managed to get clothes that represent the fandom even if it was unintentional ( or is it??? ).
i have to add this last part tho cause i see people sharing this screenshot of a livestream where JW is selling clothes with the a similar WM design as in XZ’s work. Some are eating this as candy but the truth is THIS IS FAKE. I placed a red arrow on the actual product being shown, that’s where you will find it on lives like this when someone buys. So the WM was photoshopped.
this is scary. cause there are people out there deliberately doing this for god knows what. this is why we have to be careful of cpns and what is being shared. it’s so easy to see this and go omg they are so brave! or did wyb give a go signal to do this style??? etc when in fact this has a more sinister implication. that artwork is most likely licensed to xz and his studio and infringing on that has legal consequences. so this may be anti fuel, that a brand wyb endorses is plagiarizing xz’s work. so yeah. not all candies are sweet. we always have to pause and remember that our priority is to protect their (xz and wyb) best interest. 💛
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Howdy ghouls, folks and dearie- ohs
My name is Hedone and I've been in this community for about three years now. I love it truly and wish never to be parted from it. But in that time I've noticed somethings. Like how it can be difficult to survive it, especially when your starting out I feel. So, to give back I made this;
This is your guide on how to make friends and survive the selfshipping community.
So with that out the way, there are some steps to survive.
Create -
In my view, self shipping is often a creative outlet as it is a comforting one. The ability to take a piece of media into my hands and shape it to my whims and will is often awe-inspiring. I'll admit it's easier to see it with other people than with ourselves.
So with this in mind - start off small, though if you want to go guns blazing you can do that too. It doesn't have to be a lot. If you feel embarrassed, don't be. If you are afraid then don't worry cus your definitely not alone there.
Often times it helps to make a promo. This way people who find you can know some quick facts; your title, your fos and any other bits of info you wish to give. Most people will want to know if you share an fo or not - whether this is in case they are uncomfortable with share or want to know if your comfortable with sharing. Whether you are or not is your choice.
'this user' boxes are a fun way to decorate and tell people about yourself. If your worried about how it looks, then make another one, there's no limit unless you make one. Some people make Cards for it. If that's intimidating, don't worry boo, this is Tumblr - you do you.
My first real post was about what it would be like my mind was like a house and what which fos would stay and which ones would come and go. I posted it three years ago and in all that time it has gotten 16 notes on it. Does that mean that I shouldn't have created it? no, no it doesn't. Because when I read it it makes me happy.
Do a gush post, make art, start 'reblog with your f/o' game, write stories, make a moodboard - start the flow on those creative juices.
interact -
I've seen a lot of people be nervous about talking to new people and I can tell you, I feel the same. Its daunting, talking to someone new and it can be awkward wading through the small talk. Most people are in the same boat as you; nervous and wishing to talk about their fos.
Instead of focusing on being popular, try and make friends instead, its much much more emotionally fulling than the first option. Find people with fos in the same source, and try and build it up from there. You'll find your weridos eventually - you just got to sieve though the rest first. You don't have to be best pals with everyone on there but be friendly.
If you recognise a character, why not send an ask? If you have a mutual in mind, why not try and talk with them? Reblog other people's art and moodboards and posts. Doing content trades is a great way to interact with people (and boo if your worried or don't think your content is very good, don't be - we're all evolving here). Also if you can or just like to draw, you can make fanarts for a selfship you like or would like to be your mutual - like I said before, everyone on here just wants to talk about their fos here, all that is needed is a small push first.
With that in mind not everyone you talk to is going to like you, or interact the same way you do. Everyone has a style to themselves and that's ok - the trick is find someone who has the same, or a similar style as you. Even though we are interacting through a screen, remember that there is another person behind that screen; ask them how they're doing, what they're up to, if anything positive happen in their life.
Also be careful about the kinds of people you want to befriend- do they give back what you give first? Do they share your joy? You're bound to find many you click with, just be patient and don't give up - you got this 👍😊👍
Make Friends From All Walks Of The Community -
You'll never know who you're fandom buddy will be - Antis, proships, all are people and all have a different flavour to one another. Its up to you to pick. I've found that to survive here you have to lay roots. No man is an island after all. If you don't agree with a someone's ship or like it doesn't cost much to just be polite. Being considerate and kind to other people's selfships goes a long way round here.
Insecurity
Its pretty easy to feel intimidated by other's success. feeling like their ships are being validated while yours aren't (trust me here - I know what I speak of) but here's what you have to remember: We're all just people daydreaming about fictional characters - No one is better than you and you f/os will always love you!
This is one of the many reasons why building a foundation of fellow weridos is important, its good to have a someone that your able to lean on and vice versa.
But main point here is that no matter what, no one can take away your fos love for you nor your love for them. And if they try, flip them the 🖕 cus we don't give a 🦆
Karma -
I see a few newbies do this where they go onto someone's blog, reblog a game but not send in an ask from that game. If you reblog an ask game off of someone, sent in an ask from that game. Every little helps and it spreads the love around.
Tumblr is not like Instagram, likes are not the currency here. Reblog other people's art and moodboards and posts. Leave a comment in the tags about the things you like or what you felt like when you saw it, send in an ask about their post.
Remember that even though we are interacting through a screen, there is another person behind that screen; Wishing for the same things as you do.
Take Breaks
It can be tiring on here, takes up a lot of energy so taking breaks can be good for you.
It's not like your fos are going to run away the second you turn your back - come away from Tumblr for a bit and reconnect with the outside, touch some grass, take a walk outside for a while. Its can be for as long as you like. I usually find that I like to take these breaks when I have things planned, so like if I'm going somewhere or have a thing planned I generally just try and stay off Tumblr for as long as I can, till I really want to.
If you feel like your abandoning your fos then why not take them with you? what would they say when your outside? How would they react? What would you say back? things like that.
Like with many of my posts, I doubt it will get much attraction. But if one person sees it and it helps them, then that's my dues paid, my contribute made. A very special thank you to @echoes-lighthouse @wisemins @hibiscus-ships @tex-treasures @missnaunet @vanilla-ending, @multyshipping for all your tips and helps with making this post.
With that said, thank you for reading this and if you never see me again
Merry Meet, Merry Part and Merry met Again.
#hedone talks#self ship#romantic f/o#romantic fo#familial f/o#self shipping community#self insert#queerplatonic f/o#platonic f/o#self insert community#self insert x canon#self ship community#self ship positivity#self shipping#selfship#selfship community#fo community#self shipper#selfshipper#canon x oc#si x canon#canon x self insert#oc x canon#si x fo#canon x si#yumeship#selfshipping community
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things that are hard to find: writing advice that isn't condescending.
#ambie.txt#I've been really thinking about this story in my head and wondering what caused me to get burned out from writing#and realising it's all the formal bits. planning an outline organising things into a timeline. I'm more of an impulse writer#and having to think about all those dry and formal things makes me quit before I even start#this is my autism but I hate having to stop and figure out all this before I write because that way I won't write at all#ever since I started free writing I discovered that I still love writing. I love it so much#but I hate doing all of the other things because they are not my special interest and they keep me from pursuing my special interest#it's just very hard to find writing advice that isn't condescending in this aspect#people stressing out you need an outline first are very common unfortunately#I'm more of a vibes no plot person and like to just discribe the vibes in vivid detail#before worrying about the plot too much. and yes in a story there had to be a plot#but if worrying about the plot and connecting all the scenes is killing my creativity#I want to just go from details first and bigger picture later#again. autism. also writing dialogue is the worst. idk how people talk. I don't understand body language etc etc#I have written some pretty good dialogue before so I know I'm capable. it just really sucks when I have to scrutinise everything#and think “would people say this? do they talk like that?” its draining#so I was thinking about writing dialogue separately. maybe write it as a script for a play#which is essentially just dialogue. and then match it with the scene descriptions I have written#like. I know I'm a good writer. I very good one. but the way I have been writing so far has burned me out#because it was too much focused on all the boring bits and not enough on the freedom and joy of just writing#which is why I love free writing. it allows me to focus on a few tiny details and then develop them into something bigger#also I hate writing on a computer so I got some notebooks so I can write on paper instead#it's where I'm most creative I've found#anyway this all just to say that I think following writing advice is not for me at least not now when I'm rediscovering my passion#and that I need to trust myself more and do things that make me happy#so um yeah. best writing advice is to just write and worry about it later
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Tag drop: Dorian Pavus
#dorian pavus. [ he says we're alike. too much pride. once i would have been overjoyed to hear him say that. now I'm not certain. ]#dorian pavus: ic. [ you find joy in it not shame. it shows. / why be ashamed? power should be respected. not swept under the carpet. ]#dorian pavus: inquiries. [ stop talking like you're waiting for applause. / what? there's no applause? ]#dorian pavus: countenance. [ i'm here to set things right. also? to look dashing. that part's less difficult. ]#dorian pavus: introspection. [ selfish i suppose. not to want to spend my entire life screaming on the inside. ]#dorian pavus: meta. [ you inspired me with your marvelous antics. you’re shaping the world. how could i aspire to do any less? ]#dorian pavus: little notes. [ living a lie. it festers inside you like poison. you have to fight for what’s in your heart. ]#dorian pavus: etc. [ you can't call me pampered. nobody's peeled a grape for me in weeks. ]#dorian pavus: magic. [ don't your spells whisper things to you? what is and could be? music in the mind of strange faraway places? ]#dorian pavus: inquisition. [ we're going to get lost and starve to death. aren't we? a glorious end for the inquisition. ]#dorian pavus: tevinter. [ despite appearances. we care deeply. about everything. we have no reserve. not in war and not in love. ]#dorian pavus: felix. [ even in illness he was the best of us. with him around you knew things could be better. ]#dorian pavus: gereon. [ we used to talk about how we could make real change in the imperium. then he gave up. he stopped trying. ]#dorian pavus: halward. [ i only wanted what was best for you. / no. you wanted the best for you. your fucking legacy. ]#dorian pavus: aquinea. [ her blame was cold and smothering. never spoken but always present. he couldn't face that. not yet. ]#dorian pavus: inquisitor. [ you have too many people asking you for everything under the sun. i won't be one of them. ]#dorian pavus: solas. [ you startled me. you're always so... nondescript. / please speak up. i cannot hear you over your outfit. ]#dorian pavus: varric. [ what do you think sparkler? ten royals says the next thing we run into farts fire. / taken i win either way. ]#dorian pavus: cullen. [ gloat all you like. i have this one. / are you sassing me commander? i didn't know you had it in you. ]#dorian pavus: cassandra. [ blue scarf? why would i be wearing such a thing? / It's a painting. work with me. it'll be fantastic. ]#dorian pavus: cole. [ you say you're handsome all the time. am i? i can't tell. / you're all right. might want to rethink the hats. ]#dorian pavus: vivienne. [ i received a letter the other day dorian. / truly? it's nice to know you have friends. ]#dorian pavus: blackwall. [ point is. you should let yourself off the hook. i know bad men and you're not one. ]#dorian pavus: sera. [ you magic me: i'll put three arrows in your eye. / now we can live together in peace and harmony. ]#dorian pavus: bull. [ no qunari would accept a tevinter mage unless it was a ruse. when should i expect a knife in the back? ]#dorian pavus: corypheus. [ one of yours? / one of mine? like a pet? a giant darkspawn hamster with aspirations of godhood? ]
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8i've been thinking about the last asks i got today. and i think it's better for me to take a step back from this account. i know the anon didn't mean anything by it, but i still feel like i am being a negative presence on here and weirding people out with who i am is nothing i want. so, i am not deleting or anything. i am just gonna be less present with sharing personal things or leaving tags. I'll probably be more active on my second account where i don't have that many followers :)
#i guess it affected me more than i'd like to#i don't want to make people uncomfortable#and i am sorry if i did that with any of my posts i know they have been overly emotional and maybe a bit insane#it's true that i am trying to deal with losing and finding peace i am not very good at this due to my intense emotions#and my fear of loneliness and losing people. i am also in a very bad depressive episode. i am aware that this isn't an excuse for any#of my behavior. i never had a support system so dealing with all this on my own and getting no therapist who is willing to see you#it's a downer. guilt is eating me alive and my mental condition is the something that has ruined a lot for me but it has never before done#such a terrible job before. recovering from that and dealing with the aftermath of this is exhausting and has taken a toll on my physical#and mental health i know this post doesn't mean anything to most of all and is at best confusing but i guess it's my poor attempt#of avoiding that people will hate me. i don't want to self-pity more than i already did. but i do that all on my own already.#i know that life is so much more difficult than fiction and you can't expect miracles or believe in faith to fix anything#i know there is no cure to who i am. i can only try to navigate it better in the future. it doesn't mean that i can't regret what i did.#that i can't feel guilty about it. i know that won't change anything but i am also trying to get better and i understand if that's not#visible. i just have to believe that one day it will be enough for people to say 'hey. i know you are fucked up.#and you hurt me and you've been a bitch. but we'll work on it. i believe in you.' otherwise i have to believe that this loneliness#is all there is and that i'm gonna die hollow#i don't want much. i just want some patience and peace#i want to believe that i am worthy of love and that i can get a future. and yes. me talking about wanting a wife and this stupid apple pie#life... maybe it's cliche and stupid but i have been alone for years and i am so tired of fighting. is it so bad that i don't want to do#this alone? and that goes for friends as well. i want to cook for people built things and tend to a garden to take care of animals#and to create instead of destroying for once.#i don't know why i am still writing i guess when the dam breaks... again. i am sorry for ever making people uncomfortable or even hurting#them that was never my intention. i promise#so i really hope. whoever is reading this. i hope you are doing alright. i hope you had/have a good day. tell the people you care about#you love them and enjoy the little things. read that book. eat that chocolate or do whatever brings you joy. the world is so difficult to#navigate but you are doing such a great job by just existing. you are making this world a better place with the light you radiate#the last thing I want to do something I never can forgive myself for is hurting people#not only but especially the ones I care about. but beyond that those I barely know too because I care about you guys too#I just don't want that... I want to leave the world better than I found it but I'm having a hard time doing it due to this stupid fucking#brain of mine.
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Song of the Day: December 7
"Wolverine" by Goghi
#song of the day#beautiful beautiful song very very fun to sing. about loving nature and wanting to bite people! ideal. pristine.#every line is the best line but the whole chorus is really something special#'I am the wolverine / get close I show my teeth and / no love for my own / I walk my path alone and#I am the submarine / deep hunter of the seas and / I sink enemies / making widows in the open ocean'#there's a little fuck I never know what that's called. what's it called#a little ripple-run in the melody on 'making widows in the open ocean' that brings such incredible joy. amazing song to sing#also--this has nothing to do with the song--I am so hungry#Nick has his friends over (which is good! not complaining about that. he did get permission and they're not rude or destructive so chill)#but our livingroom is now a minefield of people and beverages and popcorns I think that smell is popcorn#and to get to the kitchen I would have to pass through. step over all of them and walk between them and their videogames on the big screen#and I'm just not feeling it!#so we turn again to the grace and foresight of past-me and we reap the great pop-tart harvest#do y'all know how many boxes of poptarts there are under my bed? literally I do not know. I've just been getting interesting flavors#apple jacks. banana bread. snickerdoodle. apple fritter. eggo. cinnamon sugar pretzel. cinnamon roll. that's seven!#seven boxes of poptarts under my bed! I gave the boston creme pie and pumpkin pie ones to Nick bc they were gross but these are all good#I missed out on the vanilla latte and chocolate churro flavors sadly. they were before I started#(do you ever get halfway through a sentence and then you think: huh. my whole life to date and this is what I'm doing now. huh.)#anyway they were before I started collecting poptarts
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Not to be a jingfu on main, but it's so cute that Jing Yuan thought of Fu Xuan with those jelly beans
#me: the Xianzhou characters are all just coworkers#also me whenever anyone is shown to be fond and have intimate knowledge of some other character: awwww#Like Fu Xuan and Jing Yuan playing starchess and teasing each other or making a reference to things they like#or Jing Yuan talking about young Yukong#Quingque apparently disliking Fu Xuan but obviously that not being the case‚ knowing what she likes and how she thinks#Fu Xuan hiding that she has a sweet tooth but Jing Yuan and Quingque knowing it and teasing her for it#I don't know. There are a lot of instances of these small intimate details in the middle of what looks like a coworker relationship#Good coworkers‚ but coworkers nonetheless#And ironically it moves me so much? Even more so than Belobog. I've been told several times that Belobog seemed more tight. And I agree#In Belobog people were friends or family or companions but linked by something closer than mere coworkers with Wildfire#Even Sampo in the Underworld was strangely 'theirs'. He had the magenta colour of Wildfire and he was trusted to some extent#The Luofu characters don't have that. And yet the fragments of intimacy scattered through their interactions move me a lot#These are people who have known each other for centuries. Jing Yuan knows of Yukong's youth‚ its joy and grief#He knows Fu Xuan has a sweet tooth and teases her about her height. Quingque does too#Fu Xuan chastises both of them for being lazy but she knows they're smart and good at their job. She plays starchess with Jing Yuan#Quingque mocks Fu Xuan for being a workaholic but is very aware of the weight she carries both in her position and ideas about destiny#I won't mention Yanqing and Bailu because there is obviously more than a coworker bound when it comes to them#But yes I love the moments of intimate knowledge scattered through the Xianzhou‚ so telling of the fact that these people have known#each other for longer than several human lifetimes‚ and that perhaps they don't necessarily regard each other as more than their coworker#But perhaps that's enough in order for them to care. Perhaps in a lifetime over one thousand years the intimacy gained with a coworker#through several centuries is something beyond what we could understand in our decades lifespan#But also‚ perhaps‚ I don't know. Also‚ perhaps‚ the do care beyond coworkers in that strange line between work and friendship#Perhaps it's strange for Xianzhou natives to tell apart that kind of relationship after so much intimacy and knowledge through the years#And perhaps‚ once again‚ as it often happens for them‚ they think they'll always have enough time to tell; until they run out of it#They play chess together. Quingque can lose time because Fu Xuan can't stay mad if she brings her sweets. Are they just coworkers?#We play chess. I know what tea and sweets you like best. I brought them today since you would indulge me and play starchess with me#Thanks for playing with me‚ I'm running out of book puzzles. You keep divining my moves but I'll invent a fake story to distract you#Are we coworkers or something more like friends? Where is the line after so many years?#I talk too much but I love this charged nothingness haha I find it ironically so true to how many relationships in real life develop#And I find it so moving‚ that representation of this endearing smallness of everyday life. Of these small things is life made
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Do you ever feel sad when moots deactivate their acce/ disappear? Do you ever miss them or their stories
i do!—though i wouldn't necessarily say it's sadness that i'm feeling... more like, a bittersweet melancholy-ish emotion?
it's changed that i've become more of a writer than my previous years though, as now i really understand the urge/reasons for leaving cites + accounts, but still recognize each as a loss for all reasons (author and reader).
luckily, due to the format of tumblr (in terms of shorter things, at least), i'm a little less sad about the disappearance of specific works... however there's a few writers from my past (some not even fanfiction related) whose work i mourn OFTEN.
it really just depends on who or what has left, you know? thank you for asking, and wbu?!
#it's normal to mourn things that bring you pleasure#even if its selfish#but there's also joy in knowing the people you love are doing what's best for them however they can#double edged sword--esp since (i forget what i was going to say)#im honestly more hurt by ppl who block me when idk what ive done#hahaha#my cat had a dingleberry when i got home and he still smells like poopy now#caitie answers#anon
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...
#and so i came back here. because in here i can find joy and sorrow. laugh a little and cry a lot because someone made a post i resonate with#it makes me feels understood. a private and intimate place that is also shared at the same time. and strangely; like a home#but i came back without knowing who i am. I see someone else in the mirror. Is that a monster? a sinner? a human? a normal man?#after all that effort leaving depression and self hate from my adolescence behind. from being proud of myself for being different to all me#was all a lie? how could i do such awful and terrible thing to the person i swore to protect? the person i love the most#i said i would never do that kind of unforgivable act. And here i am. Alive after the event. I want to drop dead. To dissapear from here.#But at the same time i want to fix what i did. in order to do that i need to heal. to change. be happy. to live. and i hate it#how can i do all of that with the weight of guilt crushing me and telling me i killed myself that day? i am just a shell of who i was#how to change what i thought was the best version of me? i was supposed to be different no harmful and kind man!!!#i already asked for help. and they told me it was not all my fault. But i still think it is. There is no way it can be 50/50#physical actions are only responsibility of the ones who made it. circumstances are not a reason to diminish them guilt#a confused person is not deserving of any part of the guilt. they do not have control over themselves. but the other ones sure have it#yes. they might have started and added little physical actions. but i refused and it never came to completion. which is the opposite of min#physical trauma can spawn emotional and mental trauma as well. is way more bad and deep that the emotional one i might have#i want to kill that trash in front of the mirror. why are you still living bitch? just to be a parasite and hurt people on the go?#to make irreversible mistakes that affects every person around you? your decisions never end well. why do not you just give up already?#and yet here i am. trying to not isolate myself thanks to the safe place i found here. I can write what is on my mind. gives me some relief#because the only person i talked everyday is the same one i hurted as i never thought i would in my life#Hope i can found redemption one day. I hope they can heal and be happy soon and forever.#I am going to always be worry about them (i am sure of that) but i wish nothing but the best for them. I want nothing to hurt them again.#They never deserved the trauma and guilt. They suffered more than enough way before i step in and fucked up everything.#Life. if you can hear me. Please give them recovery. happyness. health and lots of love. They deserve it. Please#They did nothing wrong! Take them pain away and put it in me. I will stay alive just for that if is neccesary#I wanted to kill myself way long ago. but i still here. I might want to kill myself again. but i still will be here.#Just leave them be happy. That is what i really want
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totally (not) beating the allegations
best friend!takuma ino headcanons
contains... best friends to lovers, mutual pining, casual confession of love, kisses (platonic), kisses (romantic), modern au, high school to university au, living together-ish, fem intended reader, pet names (baby, babe, love, sexy, handsome, beautiful, sweetie, the list goes on and on), lots of physical touch, nicknames (you call takuma, kuma.), reader has a mother and a father, y'all are basically dating just without the label...
word count: 2.3k (this wasn't supposed to be long. i told myself 0.8k maximum...)
riea's comments: all sixteen people living in takuma city RISE UP! i miss my husband of 35 years so much, come back to me loml :(( something to munch on while y'all wait for the next full throttle chapter. also not too much on me if this is a drabble and not hcs idk the difference :))
first off... i just wanna say that i KNOW I KNOW that ino is one of the funniest people in the jjk cast idc idc!!! if he had more screentime (and if the situation wasnt dire) my boy would be crackin some jokes!!!!
you've been friends with takuma for around 7 years, your first meeting happening in tenth grade, when your teacher paired you two up for an interview project. when time came to actually record the interviews, it was hard to edit out you two laughing uncontrollably every fifteen seconds or so
i mean, you two just had so much in common!!! same favorite color, same favorite franchise, same favorite tv show, same favorite video game; it was like yall were the same person. there was just one thing you both disagreed on: whether hex code #286061 was blue or green
your argument ended up being the last ten minutes of the final video you submitted...
without a doubt, after that, you two became inseparable. in school, people would take notice of your closeness. when one of you were absent, teachers would jokingly ask "where's the other one?"
there was not a single thing you didn't do together, homework, go to the gym, gossip, eavesdrop, etc etc. so of course, you ended up applying to the same universities and when it came time for college acceptance season...
takuma invited you over, forcing you to bring your mailed letters from the eight universities. sprawling out over his lap, you took in the all too familiar sight of his room. you've been in his room more times than you've been in your own (and vice versa!)
i mean ino's been over to your place so many times that he calls your parents mom and dad. and you've been over to his house so much that takuma's mom practically jumped for joy every time you burst through the front doors with a "guess who's home!!!" so it was completely normal that you guys knew the ins and outs of each other's rooms, right?
"kuma, baby," you started with a sigh, reveling in your best friend's repetitive motions. running his hand through your hair, ino looked down at you, eyes showing that he was listening. "i'm scared, what if we don't–"
"ah-ah-ah! no negativity here!" he cut you off, pushing you off his lap and grabbing the letters you left on his desk. "listen here beautiful," takuma says, bringing a hand to your cheek, his heart swelling when you subconsciously leaned into it, "we're gonna take each other's letters, and open them," he handed you a white envelope, the logo of both of yours dream university on it, "starting with, kyōmei."
taking a well needed deep breath, you nodded. "okay," you and ino began to open the envelopes at the same time, only looking at each other when you saw the status. "accepted or rejected in 3...2...1..."
"ACCEPTED"
"ACCEPTED"
cue the mandatory silence before the screaming. "holy shit. you got in." "you got in." "WE GOT IN!!! WE'RE GOING TO KYŌMEI!!!!" you two practically flew off the bed, jumping up and down in celebration. peppering his face in kisses, you nuzzled your face into takuma's neck. "i'm so proud of us! i mean, kyōmei," you pulled away from his neck, shaking his shoulders harshly, "the kyōmei?!!!"
anyways, soon enough, you both realized that you'd have to move away, resulting in a seven hour search for apartments near the university's campus. and just as takuma was about to give up, you found a listing for units 19A and 19B, right in the heart of the city and just a five minute walk from kyōmei
and with that, it was moving day, well, days is more like it considering that the whole process took like ten days... finding cute furniture is really hard! and moving all of it is even harder!! and don't even get me started on the appliances! although, you and takuma found a way around it
like what do both of you need a microwave for? and there isn't a reason to have two dishwashers, there wasn't even a reason to have one! y'all kept your fridges though... who was gonna be banging on the other's door in the middle of the night for some cold water??
with time, it came for the highly anticipated freshman formal, an welcome event hosted by kyōmei itself, and of course, you had to go. so here you were, staring at your figure in the mirror as your best friend's large hand rubbed your shoulder, the other zipping up your black dress. "all done!" he breathed, taking a step away so that you could see for yourself. "i look so cute~" you giggled, hearing the clack of your heels as you twirled. "you do!" he paused, looking you up and down, "when did you get that dress?"
"your mom gave it to me a couple days ago! where'd you get that tux? i don't think i've seen it before," you walked over and straightened takuma's suit, as he laughed in response, "your mom gave it to me..."
"this was planned."
"this was definitely planned."
"we should send a picture in the family group chat!"
"we should!!! but, hair first!"
notice how i said family group chat, singular, not plural. and that's because there's a gc for both of your families! it's name was a mix between "ino" and your last name, since, in all seriousness, your families were close
so here you were, sitting pretty on takuma's lap as you focused on straightening the front pieces of his hair, because that's what best friends do!
"okayyyy sexyyyy," you squealed, moving out of the way so that takuma could see himself in your vanity mirror, "damnn, i look hot!" he smiled as he checked himself out, his hand firmly on your waist (to make sure that you wouldn't fall, of course!). "i knew i was fine but, did i always look this fine?" he asked, looking up at you with his big dark brown eyes, a playful smirk evident on his face. "yes, takuma. you're the sexiest man ever. just a bit of eyeliner on you and we'll be on our way, okay?"
turning back to your station, you grabbed some brown and black pencils before starting to lightly draw over ino's outer eye corner, "do men as sexy as me really need eyeliner?" a look from you was all he needed to know to shut up and close his eyes
and oh, how he loved being so close to you. not just emotionally but physically as well. like, not every duo can say that they barge into the other's apartment to steal snacks! and speaking of snacks... let me just say, there's a whole cabinet in his kitchen reserved for your favorite foods and! he keeps your favorite ice cream flavor stocked in his freezer
you, on the other hand, have a little space where you hide takuma's favorite anything. chips, gummies, takeout menus, you name it, you have it. because your best friend is oh-so-optimistic, it can be harder for him when he's just not having the best of days. which is why when you go your (not so) separate ways at the end of the day, you pack up a basket for him. ribbons in his favorite color, his top 15 favorite snacks from that one time y'all bought one of everything in a nearby convenience store and ranked them, takeout on the way, horror flicks he's been wanting on dvd because he said "its cooler that way", and a handwritten letter from you, for my kuma, scribbled on the envelope
dropping off the basket at his door and retreating back to your place, you'd press your ear against the wall separating your units, physically feeling your heart break when you heard sniffles. that was all you needed to practically fly over to his, a few boxes of tissues in hand. because that's what best friends do!
and don't even get me started on how many belongings y'all have at the other's place... like that one time takuma walked into your apartment announcing his presence, only to be met with silence. let me set up the scene for you. you are taking a relaxing shower when you hear a knock on the door followed by four more and then three more. "come in!" you called out, unbeknownst to you, ino's voice was closer than you thought
"already in here..., anyways. is my shampoo in there?"
"the one with the purple cap?"
"yeah, thanks babe!"
"wait, can you get me my towel?"
or that time when you causally opened the door to his unit (because it was basically yours too) and greeted him with a simple pat on his head before skipping off to find those jeans you thrifted
slight cohabitation aside, the university life was definitely... something. it was clear and obvious that you two were close, a blind man could see it. but close is a really really really vague word, and it's surely not the word that describes the way the two of you act. in this friendship, terms of endearment drop like rain from clouds. every. other. sentence. contains a "babe" or "baby" or "sweetheart" or "darling" WE GET IT OKAY...
and it seems like if y'all go a single day without touching each other, a bomb will fall from the sky and earth would blow up. his hands are constantly on you, his favorite places (when in public) being your shoulders and arms, and when at home it was without a doubt your waist and thighs. just imagine how difficult it must be for people speak to you both on campus when his arm is slung around you and your hand is holding onto his side. the rumors practically created themselves....
and when i say people were shocked, i mean they were SHOCKED when y'all were like "haha, no, we're not dating!!! we're best friends!" everyone was thinking: yeah best friends who FUCK. best friends who are IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER. y'all became the campus' it couple without being a couple. how does that happen??!??
however... there were a couple of people who were particularly excited to hear that you both were single. a few girls approached you one day while in the general area, asking if it was true that you and ino weren't dating. "we aren't... why?" one of the girls shifted on her feet, clearly nervous. "well... could you um... give this to him for me?!" she bowed, presenting a pretty pink envelope. you froze, staring at the item before giggling. "i see what this is about! don't worry! i'll make sure this gets to him safely!" long story short, that letter was never delivered
and on ino's side, he had some classmates pestering him about you. asking for your favorite show, candy, date style, everything under the sun. "guys, guys! she doesn't even want a boyfriend right now!" takuma shouted, even though two days prior you were complaining about how spending too much time with him was scaring all the hotties away
but let's get into the real stuff... the realization of love
for takuma, there wasn't a "wow, i'm in love with her" moment. what he does know though is that he started feeling something different for you a few months before college admission season. to him, the world was always bright with you by his side but now... it was so much brighter. it was like looking directly into the sun; it hurt but he couldn't look away, he doesn't want to look away. you're the best thing to ever happen to him, and the mere thought of ruining what you have just for some feeling—no matter how intense—isn't... right to him
and you figured it out after a dream you had one night back in high school. you dreamt of being in takuma's arms, the ones you snuck glances at when he wasn't paying attention to you. in not dream world, all you had to do was ask and he'd gladly envelop you but the vibes in this dream were different. there was tension. and it was thick. his beanie was off and thrown somewhere on the bed, your bed. looking back at him, your breath caught in your throat, "hey pretty," he slurred, drunk off tiredness. ino's called you beautiful more times than you can count; he made sure to do it at least once a week, so why... just why did this time make your stomach heat up and your heart race? you woke up with a flushed face, queasy feeling in your gut, and a deep understanding. it wasn't just platonic love anymore
"hey," you started, eyes trained on the movie in front of you, but your mind was focused on something else, "y'know how everyone thinks we're dating?" ino nodded as you reached over to grab the bowl of popcorn. "i've been thinking... maybe they're onto something..."
takuma's gulp could be heard from miles away, "wh-what are you trying to say?"
"what are we? seriously. because i can't sit here and pretend like i don't wish we were something more."
"something more like...?"
"now's not the time to be oblivious! don't you get it?! i'm—"
"i'm in love with you,"
it was like time stood still as you looked at your best friend. his face was lit by the tv screen a couple feet away, his hair was a mess, and slightly prominent dark circles were under his eyes, but... he's never looked more beautiful to you. "have been. for a long time. we've basically been dating for like four years already. four more and then we'll get married?" he flashed his signature smile
"oh, shut up," he brought your face millimeters away from his, whispering "make me." before kissing you deeply, not on your cheek, or your forehead, or your shoulders, but on your lips this time. and all the times after that too
because that's what best friends lovers do, right?
jjk taglist
@blendingcaramal @gzchaos @theamazingrain @woah-girlz @voloslobotomyservice
@kyozvy @obessionofagrl @bubybubsters @sugurusbaobei @raindropsonrwses
@c-moon20-12 @saltynanobeanie @theamazingrain @synthiiiiis @ghostlyluminarycloud
@poopyyy @supernatrualqueen @bxrbie-jadeee @laitifly @discipleofthem
@cheesecake95 @strawberry-cherrypie @makeshiftproject @magiamad0ka @ncitygreen
@stillnotherapy @oniondrip @cloudy-yyy @definitely-not-leena @kidd3ath
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#— ❀ rieamena writes!#rieamena#riea#jjk#jjk x reader#jjk ino#ino x reader#ino x black reader#jjk x black reader#ino fluff#ino takuma#takuma ino#takuma ino x reader#takuma ino x black reader#ino x you#takuma ino fluff#ino hcs#ino takuma x reader#ino smut#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu ino#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujusu kaisen x black reader#jujutsu kaisen imagines#jujutsu kaisen ino#jjk ino takuma#jjk ino x reader#ino takuma fluff#ino takuma jjk#sorry this took a bit ijbol i had the idea from so long
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#tag talk#also. when I want compliments I always wear my lantern earring. kids love it. adults love it. and people are surprised to hear I made it#like. idk. sometimes I want to be noticed so it's a very easy way to achieve that goal.#I was on break and someone with a question was like “do you work here?” and like. bestie? I do not look like I work at a hardware store#so you just know he recognized me out of apron and still asked. I was literally munching a sandwich while walking through the store on brea#but like. idk. it's still weird to realize that I'm recognizable. going from being known everywhere as a kid of well known parents to now#it's kind of weird to have people I don't recognize still recognize me. but it's nice to be known on my own terms#like. the tall girl with the cheekbones over there. that dude with nice hair and quirky earrings. idk. it's nice to be known for me#also. once again. I get that I stand out for being eternally cheery and smiling but it's still wild to me that others do not#I genuinely cannot frown. best I can do is glare daggers with a dangerously neutral face. my mouth doesn't curve down ever#how do people do that? I get asked to help and I will immediately drop what I'm doing to help. I'll stay half an hour over shift to help#hell. I've stayed two hours over when I was a nursing assistant.#idk. why does being kind make me special? why does being nice make me stand out? isn't the world supposed to work that way?#ngl I still feel like I'm twelve sometimes. like. I get that I'm an adult now but why#why is “adult” synonymous with angry and rude and impatient and inconsiderate and unhappy?#idk idk idk idk idk I get that people care about life more than I do. I would die tomorrow and not even feel that bad about it.#but while I'm stuck here I'll be damned if I don't do my best to make this a life worth being trapped in.#we can't all get hit by a truck and die on impact. some of us have to live. so make it easy on us okay?#anyway. idk. zest for life. joi de vivre or whatever. I know I'm capricious. I want to be capriciously happy. I want those ups.#forgot to mention the lantern earring was an idea I had whole in the hospital so making it was kind of a commitment to getting better#it was my first goal after getting out
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top 10 pokemon that are girls
'gender'.... much like 'animals' this is a concept from our world that has made itself present in the pokemon franchise. all pokemon began having genders (except for the ones that don't) in the second generation of games, in order to facilitate the pokemon breeding mechanic which has become a staple of the main series
you may think this means the issue of which pokemon are girls and which ones aren't is already settled. but do we really trust game freak to be the deciding voices on this one? i certainly don't. so here's a nonexhaustive look at some pokemon that are doing their best to be role models for young women everywhere who have been picking up and enjoying these games for decades.
#10 - NIDORAN♀
Not only is Nidoran♀ canonically a girl, she is the first pokemon to be canonically a girl as the gender distinction between Nidoran types predates the introduction of gen 2's breeding system that gendered all pokemon. she broke the glass ceiling, and for this we salute her.
#9 - KANGASKHAN
Both culturally and in media single mothers are subject to a lot of scrutiny and scorn, but kangaskhan breaks the mold. powerful, responsible, yet loving and joy-filled. the look on her baby's face tells us all we need to know; she holds on tight to the pouch, clinging to the safety she knows her mother can give her, but gazes awestruck and wide-eyed at the world around her, knowing its wonders will be there waiting for her as soon as she feels ready for it.
#8 - CELESTEELA
Technically, celesteela's gender is 'unknown', but it's obvious that celesteela represents what life can look like for a woman who truly has it all. As one of the largest and heaviest pokemon ever discovered, she's not afraid to take up space. she doesn't feel the need to soften herself to be more accepted by the world around her, but she's also comfortable enough with her feminine side to let it shine through where and when she wants. nobody tells her how to live her life but her and also she has big lazers
#7 - MISMAGIUS
Well she's not called MISTER magius now, is she?
#6 - LYCANROC
Perfect embodiment of the wolfgirl you knew (or, perhaps were?) in middleschool. There are many doglike/canine pokemon in the dex, but something about lycanroc's exaggerated unkempt mane and lanky, awkward posture evokes the physicality of a teenager who exists as a beast beyond the boundaries of her own body.
#5 - CHIKORITA
This saultry little binch...
#4 - RAYQUAZA
It's an uncomfortable truth in life that many women find themselves in the position of needing to play the mediator in order to stop the people around them from acting in destructive or harmful ways. But just because mediating conflict can be a difficult and unfair position to be put into, that doesn't mean it's a bad thing. Rayquaza just goes to show us all everywhere how a real woman can still thrive under these circumstances, doing her best to build a more peaceful world while not letting that push her into the shadows or make her take a back seat in her own life. she is a community leader and an innovator.
#3 - SALAZZLE
She's the archetypal femme fatale. A dominatrix. A baddie. Does she make me uncomfortable? Yes, absolutely. But I'm not a furry so I'm not really the target audience of what's happening here.
#2 - SLAKING
I know so many butches who look exactly like her. you love to see it.
#1 - MEWTWO
as one feminist philosopher has said: "I see now that the circumstances of one's birth is irrelevant, it is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are."
I think any woman living in a patriarchal society can sympathize with mewtwo's story. enraged at being treated like the property of the people who created her rather than her own fully realized person, she goes on a rampage where it quickly becomes obvious that she is even more powerful than that what she was originally created in the image of. Although this takes her down a dark path, she eventually learns to self-actualize by working on herself rather than pointlessly lashing out at people who had nothing to do with hurting her. it's empowering stuff. doubly empowering because she killed all those clowns who DID hurt her
now, of course, there are plenty more pokemon that are girls than just what i've listed here today. but i hope youve learned a little something from this.
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