#but there should be another fic over 200k coming out before the end of the year

[reggieblk]

Hi! So, I'm just starting reading Equals In Life and omg. How the heck were you able to write this full thing in more or less a month??? I am staring in both admiration and a little bit of terror because that's a super power if anything is!

hi !! I hope you like the fic! It was recently re-edited, so hopefully it's a bit better than what it was a couple weeks ago.

I actually answered an ask like this a while ago, here's the link to that, so that I don't rehash everything I already said haha

but to make a long story short, I was struggling at uni, in that I didn't want to go anymore. I was fully burnt out, and frankly I can't remember anything that's not equals in life from my last semester 😭 And writing the fic provided the escapism I needed to not go absolutely insane, and it was actually something I enjoyed, which reminded me that yeah, things can actually be enjoyed in life and not just suffered through lol. So I'd write constantly cause it made me happy, and if I wasn't writing I was thinking about the fic, so the plot was quickly sorted out in my mind.

It also helped that there wasn't a chapter that I didn't enjoy writing. Every chapter had at least one scene, or a piece of dialogue, or something, that I was excited to write. So it was very easy to always want to write.

the stuff I mentioned in the other post are relevant too! especially the thing about being unsure if I was capable of writing an entire fic

To make a long story even shorter : it was the mental illness

Bonus: I'm sure you can imagine what happened to me when I actually finished the fic..... I lost the one thing holding me together, so I dived head first into a new one. But I have mellowed in the last few months, and writing is no longer my sole reason for existing...but maybe that's bc I finished uni idk (btw i did get my degree and passed all my exams with a pretty good average, which I still can't believe happened)

this answer is a bit scattered sorry, it's 7 in the morning rn lol. Thank you for the ask, it's always nice to chat about writing. And I really hope you like the fic!! I'd love for you to let me know what you thought of it!! I'm pretty sure it contains a part of my soul, so be gentle haha

xx

[kay-elle-cee]

Hola 😎 I hope you are doing well and hopefully you have a great end of the year. Wishing that next year is better for you in every aspect 😊 I believe you’ll make it through any struggles/obstacles you’re going through.

(Also just know I’ll be sending another ask about a certain fic of yours that is pinned to my browser and it’s not ibfibg 👀) anywho let’s get down to business….

2023 fic review ask:

16) What were your go-to writing songs?

21) Share your favorite piece of dialogue

Also, were you ever in a situation in which you come up with two scenes and are not sure which one to choose? Do you end up with the original or the alternative one?

Have a nice day!

(Ps.. I lied, my next ask will be about ibfibg but also one other fic that you wrote 😊)

Thank you for sending these in, Nena, and for all your kind words! I hope you have a great end-of-year as well! I have been AGONIZING over 21, and I'm looking forward to seeing what else you send in! (also I'm curious what the other fic is!)

16. What were your go-to writing songs? Every single song on the i'll be fine, i'll be good playlist made it into my Spotify Wrapped this year, so those were definitely my most-listened to writing songs 😅

21. Share your favorite piece of dialogue Nena, Nena, Nena......You're going to yell at me for picking angst so I'm going to pick one angst and one fluff piece because I wrote over 200k words this year and I think that should be allowed.

From i'll be fine, i'll be good “I know this wasn’t supposed to…supposed to be anything. But fuck, Lily”—his eyes, glittering with agony behind his glasses, are glued onto her—“I can’t just pretend that I don’t feel this way anymore.”

From A Thrill Divine, Down My Spine James pulls away and a small crease settles between her brows, smoothing when his lips brush over it as his hands graze her arms and come to cradle her face. A corner of his mouth is quirked in a dazed sort of smile. “You’re the feeling of flying…” he trails off, his voice barely above a whisper but so clear to her even in this crowded pub. She’s staring into his eyes, which roam over her face in reverence as his thumb gently brushes her bottom lip. “The wind in my hair, the sun breaking through the clouds,” he breathes, kissing her again.

And as for your other question...yes! There was a scene in Chapter 4 of i'll be fine, i'll be good that I seriously rewrote the week before it was published. Details below the cut!

End-of-Year Fic Writer Asks!

So the scene that was different in ibfibg...My big worry for that fic was that James was too soft, and the original scene where they decide to get together in seventh year was a lot lighter—there was a lot of teasing Lily for getting flustered, etc. I decided to change it to have him be a little more frustrated with the whole situation— the "fuck them, why should they get a say in your happiness" conversation, etc.

There are parts of that original scene that I really miss and it HURT me to cut, but ultimately I like the James that ended up in that scene better. An excerpt of the original scene below

Familiar callouses gently brush against her wrists as he pulls her hands away from her face and she has to blink rapidly to readjust not only to the lighting in the room, but the fact that James is here, standing directly in front of her, his look of amusement a faint echo in the soft way he’s looking down at her now. Her wrists burn where his hands touch her, and she feels her breath catch in her throat. “I fancy you, Evans.” “Yeah?” She hates how soft her voice comes out, but the sweeping relief of maybe not making a complete nit of herself is too overwhelming to fight.

[galaxythreads]

Heyo! love your work and I've run into a bit of a writing pickle and wanted another opinion: you see, I'm about 200k into a fic at the moment and pushing that number any higher is like pulling teeth. Have you ever chewed a piece of food for so long that it becomes entirely unappetizing? Yeah, that's about where I'm at with this story right now. The concept and story beats are still, in the abstract, interesting to me but the physical act of writing is near torturous. Have you ever ended up in a situation like that? How do you maintain momentum and find joy in working on a project that is no longer interesting by sheer virtue of overexposure?

Hi! Great question! Thanks so much for trusting me with this. <3

First, Ive gotta commend you for writing something that long. That's absolutely incredible. In all my years as a fic writer, Ive never written anything over like 170k. Ever. So amazing. Fantastic. Wonderful. You deserve to be recognized for what an amazing achievement that is. I'm proud of you.

Second: yes, Ive had this. A lot of you probably don't remember this, but I started the Blodig Skog and got like 4 chapters in before just stopping completely. The world I'd built exhausted me and I didn't want anything to do with it anymore. I thought about deleting the story. I thought about posting the ending. I thought a lot about what I was doing wrong to make me hate it. (Nothing. I was just overworked)

Ultimately, after trying a lot of writing tricks and tips, what actually helped was taking a hiatus for over a year. I didn't think about it. I didn't write in it. It just existed along side me. After the break, I came back, I reread what I had in it's entirety, reread the plan, and then started writing. I finished it in less than two months after that. That story was one is the worst to get through. I hated it at first. There were a lot of concepts I liked and I still wanted to do, but, as you said, it was near torturous to work on it before I took the hiatus.

So don't.

Don't work on it.

You don't have to. Fics are meant to be fun. You always have the option of coming back and finishing it later. Maybe you can take those ideas and use them in another fic. You're allowed to reuse ideas and concepts as many times as you want to.

You need a break. Stop holding the fic so close to your face. As frustrated as you are, it's probably hard to remember why you enjoyed working on this fic in the first place. I know I did with the Blodig Skog. Time will offer perspective. Maybe you'll figure out how to finish it, maybe you'll figure out what's making you hate it.

I wrote the rest of the Blodig Skog in two months because I wanted to. The joy of working on that story was unlike anything I can describe to you, but it was only because I stopped working on it after my mind begged me to. That hiatus saved the story, and I mean that genuinely. Sometimes keeping momentum means we give ourselves time to breathe instead of trying to push through the entire time.

So please, please give yourself a break. And I mean a break. A minimum of a month, ideally between 3-6 months. Then you can come back and reread and try writing again. Your brain is telling you something - I do not want to work on this, I am tired, please stop - and you should listen.

I am so, so, so proud of you for getting this far, please give yourself some rest. The fic will still be there. Write down any plan details you might forget and then stop for a while.

Let me know if you need clarification or want me to answer this another way, I'd be happy to help. Hopefully this was a little helpful.

[fallingthruspace]

I’ve seen a few posts about the idea of Eddie and Chrissy showing up in season 3 and decided I wanted to expand/put my own spin on it.

Obviously Eddie gets a job at the music store inside Starcourt

He works most of his shifts by himself until the owner tells him that he’s hired another employee

A couple days later Eddie is in the process of carrying something out from the backroom when the owner calls him to come meet his new coworker

Much to Eddie’s surprised it is none other than Chrissy fucking Cunningham the girl he’s been nursing a huge crush on since middle school

Chrissy spends the day learning the ins and outs of the store while she and Eddie get to know each other, and at some point they have what is basically the forest conversation from 4.01

When their shift is over Eddie insists on treating her to ice cream at Scoops Ahoy to celebrate a successful first day. Chrissy tries to politely decline but Eddie insists so she agrees but only on the condition that she can treat him when she gets her first paycheck.

I have a headcanon that Eddie is already friends with Robin in this AU because I fully believe they would be hilariously chaotic besties if given the chance. He wasn’t too fond of Steve at first, but after a few weeks of hanging out at Scoops to bug them Steve and Eddie have something that could almost be called a friendship. They mostly just rag on/snark at each other, but there’s no malice behind it. (Eddie LOOOVES making fun of Steve’s uniform)

Both Robin and Steve are naturally surprised to see Eddie Munson strolling in with Chrissy Cunningham of all people, and Robin spends a good few minutes shooting looks at Eddie because she is 100% aware of his massive crush

Scoops Ahoy becomes a regular hangout for Eddie and Chrissy and that’s where they get to know “Steve’s Kids”, as Eddie refers to them because they’re also always there

Chrissy is still dating Jason who periodically comes to visit her at work and is of course a dick about her working with “the freak”, no matter how much Chrissy tries to convince him that Eddie is completely harmless

Eventually things come to a head and Chrissy breaks up with him, partially because of other things but also because he won’t stop being an asshole towards someone who she now considers a very good friend. Maybe even her best friend. Chrissy feels a little guilty that she’s not as upset about their relationship ending as she should be

Afterword her and Eddie share an ice cream sundae to “celebrate” her dumping Jason. Robin and Steve are proud of her too because they also thought Jason was a huge dick (no one likes Jason)

I feel like Chrissy and Eddie are pretty much oblivious to everything that’s going on for about 80-90% of s3. Like everyone else is dealing with the Upside Down and Russian spies and shit, meanwhile those two are about 2/3 of their way into a slow burn 200k friends to lovers fic on ao3 😂

They probably get dragged into it right after the Scoops Troop escapes from the Russians

Maybe they have the day off or something and they go to see Back to the Future when Steve and Robin plop down next to them, both obviously high off their asses and Steve looking like he just got beat within and inch of his life

They drag the two to the nearest bathroom to get Steve cleaned up and this segways into Steve and Robin’s bathroom convo

After that a lot of shit happens really fast and before Eddie and Chrissy know what’s going on they get roped into the fight against the Upside Down and now there’s a Giant Eldrich Monstrosity in the middle of the food court and they’re helping Lucas Sinclair throw fireworks at it

In the end, Eddie and Chrissy get absorbed into the Party because fighting inter-dimensional monsters has a real way of bonding people together

Steve’s Kids also become Eddie and Chrissy’s Kids, especially Dustin(of course)

Sometime during that summer, Eddie and Chrissy eventually stop beating around the bush and finally get together (much to the relief of Dustin and Robin who have been trying to get them there since before the “mall fire”)

The two naturally cause a stir at Hawkins High when The Freak and The Cheerleader show up for their senior year arm in arm and acting like a couple of lovebirds

When season 4 rolls around Chrissy does NOT get Vecna’d because she actually has a support system now, but others are not so lucky

Jason, of course, still blames Eddie for the murders because he’s a grade A dick and now has the motivation of The Freak “stealing his girl” and the gang has to clear his name while trying to destroy Vecna

Lmao my brain really ran away with this and now I want to write a whole fic for it help

[nyxocity]

Fic Writer Questions!

Thanks to @redmyeyes for the tag!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

82, although that's not even close to my actual total. There's a bunch on LJ that have never been transferred (all shorter works)

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

1,780,805 (over 2mil on LJ)

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Mostly three, plus a couple dips into a few other pools. X-Men Comic Book fandom, Buffy & Angel fandom (they kinda count as one since it's the same universe), and Supernatural & SPN RPF. Dips have included Dragon Age, Firefly, a tiny bit of TVD, a Sons of Anarchy crossover.

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

This is tough if I go by numbering. Homework Verse has the most kudos scattered across all parts, but Stranger Than Fiction has the most as a single story. Anyway...

Homework Verse (J2 RPF, 200k+ words) - My very first RPF fic, Supernatural or otherwise. Two of my online fandom friends basically TOLD me I was going to write Teacher/Student J2, and I kept protesting that I drew the line at RPF. They didn't care. 200k later, here we are. This story was a game changer for me; it made me fandom famous. I still love those boys with my whole heart, and they still talk to me sometimes.

Stranger Than Fiction (Sam/Dean, 50644 words) - This story idea took root immediately following the episode The Monster at the End of This Book. I quit the Big Bang I'd already begun writing for that year (which was Who Watches Over Me, which I finished and posted for BB the following year) to write this story. It just took hold hold of me and took over. I wrote it in 6 weeks and it was easily the most fun I ever had writing anything--I cackled like a madwoman most of the time.

Who Watches Over Me (J2 RPF, 96591 words) - This story was, at the time, the toughest thing I'd ever written. Little did I know that would become the norm and not the exception, as I began to write more complex stories. It was by far the longest story I had ever posted all at once in its entirety (rather than chapter by chapter) and I had no idea if people would like it. Fortunately a lot of people did.

Like Staring Into the Sun (Sam/Dean, 23243 words) - Ah, my very first hardcore Wincest fic. I remember writing the first chapter of the story (meant to be a one shot honestly), and just sitting there, at 5am, being terrified to post it. It was twisted, dark and intense and SO porny I was scared people might think I was weird. There wasn't anything like it out there at the time. As it turns out, people loved it so much I ended up writing eight more parts.

Like a Fish Out of Water (Sam/Dean, 59498 words) - I have a lot of love for this story. It didn't come to me easily, but it was fun to write. I remember smiling a lot and just having a nice, warm cozy feeling the whole time. I had no idea if anyone was interested in reading this many words of what amounted to a dramedy curtain fic

Of course there are other stories that I feel deserve love, but I can't argue with these.

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I do. And by that, I mean I try. I don't always succeed in answering them all, but I answer as many as I have time and energy for. Life is busy and there is writing to do as well. I read every comment I get (multiple times) and I feel guilty for all the ones I don't answer, because they mean SO MUCH TO ME. Like you took time to leave this beautiful, well thought out comment, or even a keysmash, or a heart, in response to something I wrote. That means the world.

I WISH there was a reaction function for comments on Ao3, so I could heart things, or laugh in response. Replying with emojis without words feels weird. So yeah, a reaction function would be amazing. But in the meantime, I do my best.

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Hmm. Probably A Touch of Evil. Interestingly, it's also a HAPPY ending, so there you go lol. It's a serial killer love story with a happy ending that comes at an exorbitant price.

8) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I'm not sure why the OG post skips from 6 to 8 lol . So, yes, I have written a few minors crossovers. Mostly Faith in the SPN verse with the boys, nothing too crazy, because she fits right in. But for long stories, I have written all of ONE crossover. It's Dean Winchester/Jax Teller (SPN / Sons of Anarchy). My crossovers so far have tended to make sense to crossover, so I don't think any of them are crazy.

9) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes. I got some hate on a Buffy/Xander fic back in the day. I got really excited and had fun with it. Like yeah, now I'm SOMEBODY! You're no one til someone hates you lol Most of that was people who were haters of the ship, or were like, gross, they're like brother and sister (they weren't, they were FRIENDS). I've gotten nasty comments here and there on some of my SPN fic. My favorite was the person who accused me of having a "Top Dean Agenda". I STILL laugh about that one. I don't respond to that crap.

10) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Have you MET ME? LOL If I ever post a story without smut just put me out to pasture, because I'm done. And all kinds. Het, Gay, PWP, Plotty porn, mostly super kinky but some vanilla (but intense). I used to challenge myself regularly to see if I could up my kink game--like hmm, but could I write THIS? I haven't written really kinky sex in a long time, though. Might be time to do that.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Several times. Who Watches Over me was stolen by someone and converted to One Direction Lourry fic. Literally just did a name change. Someone else stole a bunch of my one shots and passed them off as their own. I know there were a couple other instances but I only vaguely remember. I never got too deep into it, most of the time the people who discovered the theft already told everyone else too, and the plagiarist had been hammered by them so hard that I didn't have to step in before they took it down.

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes. I used to get requests so often that I just posted my usual response in my profile for people to read instead of replying. Definitely into Russian and Chinese for most of the stories listed with most kudos above.

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

A few times on one shot fics. SO MUCH FUN. I love co-writing with people.

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

Sam/Dean. Easily. Hands down. I just love their unique relationship, bond and love so much.

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Well I finally finished A Touch of Evil after posting 3 chapters in 2009 and never touching it again until 2017. And I never thought I'd finish that. So never say never, I say. That said, there's the third and final part of my X-Men comic book epic that remains unfinished by about five (shorter) chapters, and it HAUNTS ME. But I don't think I'll ever finish it.

16) What are your writing strengths?

NOW we get to the hard questions. I'm really good at dialogue, bouncing banter back and forth between characters, and I have a sense for how long a scene should be. I just KNOW when it's going on too long, even if there's more that needs to be said, and I try to tighten it up in that case.

A friend of mine once told me "Porn is my gift". I don't write as much of it as I used to, but yeah, I shine in that area.

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

So I always reach a point after writing so many words in an unpublished fic where I'm like, I have no idea if this is even any good/makes sense/hangs together etc. Beyond that, I've been writing for so long that I've had so much practice that I've strengthened a lot of my weaknesses. I'm sure I still have some, but I don't FEEL them like I used to anymore. That said, there are things I simply will not write. Like historical pieces. Because I would research the fuck out of every detail trying to get it perfect and then I would still doubt myself completely.

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I mostly try to avoid it, because there's no way I would ever get the language correct. I usually write it in English and then explain that they're saying it in another language. Like, "What are you doing?" the man asks, speaking in Chinese. Then reiterate in the continuing dialogue in various ways that they're speaking in Chinese.

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

X-Men Comic Book fandom. I was reading a lot of Remy/Rogue fic back in 1996-1997, and one day I was like, you know what? This person did a pretty good job on this story. It's not great, but it's pretty good, and if they can have the guts to put it out there, then I can do it, too.

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

This is a tough question. I don't love all my children equally, but I love them all a lot in different ways lol

Remembering favorite is different than which one I think is BEST... Homework Verse is probably my favorite. I was learning so much about writing then, I was really growing, and discovering, and pushing my limits. Those characters lived and breathed in me, I swear they spoke through me from some alternate universe. They feel so REAL to me. There's so much of what I've learned in life in that story, like really, big, life changing ideas and understandings that happened to me that I put into that story. There's so much of me in that story, and yet there's so much of THEM, too. It's their story, but it's also mine. It's raw and not entirely perfect and it feels like home to me.

--

So that's it, that's my piece. I feel like EVERYONE has been tagged since it took me 3 days to have time to do this, but I'm basically tagging any of you writers out there who haven't done this yet!

[fandomreblogging]

i never write stuff but

IDK if you've read a bunch of stucky fanfic but some tropes in a few of my favorite fics are things I saw played out in the episode--Bucky in therapy/Bucky with PTSD, and Bucky with Old Friends and Old Hobbies. I love these tropes. They're almost obvious things that would occur for him narrative-wise after the events of the movies but I first saw them in fanfic and THEN saw them in FATWS. And i loved seeing them! they gave Bucky a personality that he honestly didn't have in canon and it was kind of hilarious to see that the writers validated a lot of fanfic by making him a traumatized crank who drinks but can't get drunk and is befuddled by dating apps and likes weird old games. fanfic writers wrote this bucky before the FATWS writers did. i liked seeing this version of bucky "come true."

but this iteration of these tropes made me realize the glaring hole in the show: Steve's ending in Endgame and how he LEFT BUCKY BEHIND (don't get me started on how he ruined Peggy's life).the fact that the FATWS bucky lines up so perfectly with fanfic bucky just emphasizes the areas where they diverge, and honestly? the divergence is shitty. stucky should be canon, and not bc i'm a slut for hot boys kissing, but because IT'S A BETTER AND MORE FULFILLING FUCKING STORY. ALL I thought about watching the first episode was how the episode reminded me of fanfic where Bucky had nonagenarian friends he played chess with before he went to trauma therapy and then CUDDLED ON THE COUCH WITH STEVE.  Or they at minimum just awkwardly and tentatively slow-burned their way to a physical relationship after 200k words. Honestly, therapy!Bucky, OldFriends!Bucky and LOVE OF STEVE'S LIFE!BUCKY go HAND IN METAL HAND IN FANFIC.  And that last part WASN'T HERE.

And of course it wouldn't be. It would never be because they would never make Stucky canon or either character obviously gay (we're grasping at tiger printed straws here, y'all) and i don't the russos MEANT to queerbait when they said TWS was a love story, i think they're just big dumb dudebros so deeply entrenched in heteronormativity that it didn't occur to them they were queerbaiting (so on the scale of things they're slightly higher in my estimation that the supernatural writers but that's another rant for another day). So i never expected stucky or any pining!bucky weeping over steve (altho i ship sambucky super hard now and i don't know what that means for my fandom identity), but seeing things that i recognized in fanfic as precursors to the slow burn romance of my dreams and knowing those things would never lead to the resolution i wanted (slash the resolution that logically made sense for the characters, bc stucky is a FUCKING LOVE STORY) really just reminded me how shitty steve's endgame ending was. let's ABANDON THE DUDE I WAS WILLING TO DIE AND GO TO WAR FOR A FEW MOVIES AGO with NO CONVERSATION and JUST AN AWKWARD BRO HUG! let's reduce STRONG, COMPELLING FEMALE CHARACTER WITH HER OWN AGENDA AND STORYLINE AND TV SHOW WHERE SHE MADE HER OWN CHOICES AND MOVED ON WITH HER LIFE to a SILENT PRIZE TO BE WON!

also LET'S CUT BUCKY'S HAIR OFF SCREEN WHEN THAT SHOULD HAVE CLEARLY BEEN A MONTAGE DONE WHILE HE WAS WEARING NOTHING BUT A TOWEL AND A METAL ARM AND A TRADEMARK SEBASTIAN-STAN SEXY/ANGSTY GRIMACE.

I do appreciate the super awkwardly posed shirtless waking up on the floor scene, however.

stucky is dead. long live sambucky.

[kim-ruzek]

CONGRATULATIONS ON HITTING 100K WORDS PUBLISHED!!!!!

I am so stinking proud of you, because you’re amazing and you’ve written almost 100k burzek words?? That’s an extra 100k that wasn’t in this fandom before. That nobody had read. Of scenarios and storylines and beautiful prose that you did.

I was going to try do a “rank your fics” thing, but then I realised like…I have a top three and then everything else moves around depending on my mood. So I’m telling you my top three.

Number one is, as always, Contentedness. I love this fic so so much. I believe it was the first appearance of Ally (whose now my favourite ever original character and sorry not sorry I’ve stolen her multiple times but HOW COULD I NOT???). This fic just…its the epitome of soft burzek for me. Of burzek loving each other and working through their issues and deciding that their love is worth continuing on with. Is worth going through the hardships. It’s worth it all. Plus the teasing Antonio and him not realising Ally is Adam’s daughter! And that beautiful moment of Kim remembering that she had to tell Voight she and Adam were sleeping together (I can never forget it that line is EMBOSSED INTO MY SOUL). And “I’m talking about my granddaughter, not her father.” From Trudy. This was the moment honorary Grandmother!Trudy was born and she will never leave my soul. Ever.

Two and three I keep tossing up which goes first, and honestly if I wrote this tomorrow I’d probably have a different two and three. But number two right now is family we chose. I just…it’s everything. The nails. The love confession. MAKAYLA AND THE BADGE AROUND HER NECK. All of it. The gentle way they talk to her and explain about Kim. Not glossing over that everything is Not Ok between Kevin and Adam (not that you ever would), and the moment Kim just holds onto her family because she’s survived and they’re there and she loves them so damn much and they love her. It’s…I cry every time. Every. Single. Time.

Three is something’s gone terribly wrong. I remember the day you came up with it, and I just went back through our messages and found the one where I worked out (from no clues) what the twist would be and why Adam was missing. We knew the braincell was a thing anyway, but I think that just cemented our knowledge of its genius. But this fic…this stupid, amazing, awe inspiring fic. I love it so much. Like so incredibly much. (AND HOW IS IT TWO MONTHS OLD ALREADY????) It’s just…it has everything. Suspense, Al’s POV (that you write so well), that moment where Kim has to tell Al that they had sex that morning and oh god I could feel the cringe and embarrassment through the page. Bob being an ass. Voight being protective, AL being protective. Antonio listening to Kim and realising she’s right and getting the information out of Bob. Roman bashing. Kim standing up for herself and telling Trudy she can’t work with him anymore. AND THEN SHE GETS OFFERED INTELLIGENCE AND SHE DESERVES IT. That moment is so gorgeous. And Al turning up at the end and telling Adam he’d have kept the secret? Inviting them for dinner? Ugh it’s EVERYTHING. ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING.

Like…this was so hard and I was going through your fic list and every single one I was like “I LOVE IT” and I could have written lines about every single one. But I think you’d have killed me. But, y’know, duty. Love you, and I can’t wait for the next hundred thousand published words. Folks, you have no idea what Ree’s gonna hit us with.

Not me SOBBING MY HEART OUT AT THIS AGAIN 😭😭😭 I'm questioning if I'll be able to answer this, with how much it reduces me to (happy, ofc) tears each and every time I read over it.

Your pride in me over hitting 100k posted means so so much to me. You're literally my number one cheerleader and as I've said to you so many times, I never would've even gotten close to this amount if it wasn't for you!!! I love you so much and thank you for supporting and encouraging all my most ridiculous ideas.

Now for y'all-- I could've guessed what Cíara's top three of my fics are bc they never hesitate to rave about them and just...so many days they'll be like "oh I reread [this] again and I love it" and I'll cry bc that's the best thing you can tell me.

To respond to your lovely, lovely words now: Cíara, I will be forever overjoyed and amazed how much you love contentedness. You know how I feel about it, that there's that disconnect to it, even though it has some of my favourite lines in it. And my fics are my children, and I feel bad that I can't love that fic as much as I'd like, but I don't feel as bad knowing it gets so much love from you.

And yes!!!! That is the first appearance of Ally!! And I'm going to take this time to express just how much I LOVE THAT YOU LOVE ALLY!! Like the fact that she's your favourite oc and the fact that you've literally stolen her so many times,,,,, it makes me so happy. Like so overwhelmingly happy bc I love her and ugh. Just-- all the feels. Thank you for loving what my brain comes up with and making me not feel so weird for making who Burzek's baby would be.

And I just love love love that you love Kim remembering telling Voight and all that awkwardness. It's one of my first and favourite thoughts I ever made for Burzek and I can't wait until I finally write the scene, not only because that'll mean I'm writing my s7 fix it but so you can have another scene of that to love like you love that line.

I love honorary grandmother!Trudy (or, how she says it in second chances, just grandmother Trudy, their her grandkids blood or not) and I'm so happy you do too.

Family we chose is, I think, one of my favourite fics I've ever wrote. I love all my fics but this one... I love it so much. It was born out of just one (1) photo of Paddy with painted nails and us two screaming about it together and I just... I love it. And I love LOVE that you do too, and all the moments you love about it-- like the badge scene. It's just,,,, it's overwhelming to think about how much I love this fic and that you love it just as much bc that's just incredible and I never thought anyone could love my writing as much as you do.

HOW IS SOMETHING'S GONE TERRIBLY WRONG ALREADY TWO MONTHS OLD????? It feels like only like,,, two weeks ago I was writing it. It never fails to make me laugh and be so in awe that this came out of me being tipsy and then telling you my stupid tipsy ideas. It is my longest, most cohesive fic with some of my all-time favourite scenes and it was made just because I drunkenly laughed at the thought of Kim having to tell Al that she was dating Adam-- and, ofc, the sex moment.

And all the scenes you mentioned... I love it so much and I'm so happy and will never stop being so happy that you love it too. And I'll forever associate it with the moment that we got confirmation, beyond reasonable doubt, that we share a Braincell. The way you just guessed the Bob bits... It's so incredible and I'm so happy we share a braincell.

This ask made me so emotional and teary and I just-- I love you so so much. You are such an incredible person and I'm so happy that I know you. And look-- you made me talk about loving my writing, you made me celebrate!!!! I love that you always, so fiercely and caringly, encourage me to love what I've created, to never be ashamed and put down the ridiculous ideas I come up with, that you tell me that my ideas are self indulgent but that's exactly why I should write them.

And finally, I love how excited you are for all the ideas to come. FILB and FSK and undercover Adam and the Angst monster fic, and Sean Roman is abusive, and Bloodtypes and skater!au and after highschool!au and my many WS!As and all the others that doesn't yet have names.

I love how I come to you with silly ideas, sometimes just so vague-- like with co parents Burzek-- and you just help me grow and nurture them. Without judgement, and with such enthusiasm, even when it comes from my ridiculous tipsy mind.

I never could've gotten here without you, and I won't get to 200k without you, and I'm so happy that you're cheerleading me and just being my friend. I love you so, so much and thank you so much for this and being in my corner, for being the other half of my brain, my writing buddy.

[wilmakins]

The WIP List

In the interest of being more organised, and getting my shit done, and basically all the things on my New Years Resolution List, I’m taking the bold step of actually publishing my proposed writing schedule for the year*

*Please note, all Wilma Schedules are subject to the usual work and family drama, the failings of the UK government, and ADHD in general. All dates given should be considered guidelines at best, and delusions at worst.

But hey, thinking positively and all that, the plan for 2021 is as follows:

Stuckony Marvel Trumps Hate Fic

Yes, I’m straying into another ship for MTH this year (for those of you who follow purely for the Stony content, worry not, all associated content will be tagged)

It’s going to be a long, multi-chaptered fic, probably somewhere between 150k-200k. It’s already planned, storyboarded and approved, and I’ve just started the process of writing in earnest, so all things going according to plan, it should start posting somewhere around the beginning-middle of February, and then update regularly until July/August, ish...

Vampire!Steve Marvel Trumps Hate Fic

My second MTH fill is a Stony fic, and the first vampire fic I’ll have written with Tony as the human.

Another long, multi-chaptered fic that could be anywhere up to 150k. Again, already planned, storyboarded and approved, and I’m hoping that one will start posting by the end of February and then be updated regularly up until the summer

1K Follower Milestone Fics

I still have four more one shots to write for the 1K Followers celebration, all of which are now planned out, and SHOULD all be reasonably short (I know, I know, I never keep things short 😂) 

To be honest, this rather depends on how my two long fics progress, but the current plan is for all four fics to have been posted by the end of April

IM1 AU Slow Burn Request

This already has a detailed plan, a mini storyboard, and even a trailer 😂 

This one is going to be a mid-long fic, somewhere around 30k and 50k I think, and I should be able to start writing that in around April time - so, hopefully, it’ll be posted over the summer

Nesting Request

I’m already working on this one with @xria-rose - and her influence might mean that one DOES actually get posted before the end of March  😂

Only One Way

Yes, I really AM going to finish that fic! 

For those of you unfamiliar with the drama, Only One Way is a 300k+ epic that I spent a year researching, nearly finished writing and gotten half way through posting when I LOST IT ALL IN A COMPUTER CRASH. 

And yes, I’m still bitter - BUT, I’m hoping that come July, when my other projects should be nearing completion, I will finally be able to face it again. And, depending on how much of it I can remember, that should then be FINISHED by the end of the year.

Final Long Fic of The Year

Seeing as I don’t have the focus to work on just one long fic at once, I already know I’ll be starting another long fic project in the summer, when the MTH fics are done, to work on along side Only One Way. I just haven’t picked which one yet 😂 It will be EITHER the Captain America 3 fic, or the Omega Steve fic... I might end up putting it to a vote. 

So, it’s this lot ☝️ plus whatever weird and wonderful prompts the POTS server manage to snare me with during golden hours!

Any questions about upcoming projects are always gleefully received 😀

[narcissasdaffodil]

48 for drabbles, Marisol x MC <3

48: I called you at 2am because I need you

So I lost the prompt list but I’m going to take these from another one, hopefully that’s fine x Also, I hit 200k fic wise, so I’m posting a little something extra from my drafts x

Alecto had decided to visit Abby for 2 weeks in Los Angeles. She had decided to go on a whim after winning Love Island with Marisol earlier in the summer, but it being so incredibly last minute meant she had to leave Marisol behind in the UK.

Abby was still the same as ever, just as obsessed with rare bookshops, coffee and trying out new things. They hadn’t seen each other for years, but appeared to catch up in no time. Abby was writing music and pursuing her dreams, uni was definitely the wrong choice for her all those years ago.

Abby had managed to secure tickets for the Dodie concert, and they were just returning back to the apartment, arms laden with food and drinks. Both of them were high off adrenaline and happiness, their throats were sore from singing at the top of their lungs. Surprisingly, there was an actual queue for takeout food, and they had got delayed. Alecto always left her phone on silent, and had no real need for it throughout the night, apart from taking photos with Abby and experimenting at taking more types of photos. Photography was a passion for her, and she had gained some great shots. She would never do it for a career, her dream was to be a doctor so she followed her destiny there.

She rested her box of food, and her tiny bag on the side table, leaving her phone face up next to it, sitting cross legged on the couch and starting to tuck into her burger. Abby sat next to her, both of them focused on their food. The apartment was silent as they ate, both of them ravenous after the concert. Long hair started to slide out of the clip, making its way down Alecto’s shoulders.

Abby finished her food first, despite starting later, and removed the large hair clip from Alecto’s hair, pushing it out of her way and putting the clip safely on the side table. She heard a loud beep, and retrieved her phone from the table, her eyes drawn to the light coming from Alecto’s phone as she grabbed her own phone.

“Looks like someone keeps trying to reach you there, might be a good idea to check it.” She said, curling up and resting her phone on her knees, checking it.

Alecto nodded, giving her a thumbs up. Her mouth was full with burger, and she was always a very neat eater. She finished her mouthful and set down the empty box, retrieving her phone. She checks the time, noticing it was 2am. Her phone lit up again, and started to ring, Marisol’s name and picture on the display. Wait. Why has she texted you so many times? You do hope she’s okay.

Alecto pressed answer, putting her phone on speaker and turning the volume up.

“Hello?” Marisol sounded unsure, and her voice kept wobbling.

“Hello, are you okay? It’s 2am, but it’s fine.”

“I’m sorry... Forgot about the time difference, it’s 10am here. I haven’t been able to sleep at all, it’s been worrying me. But I don’t want to keep you up.” Marisol’s voice breaks slightly, not as sure of herself as she usually was.

“We came back from a concert not too long ago, we’ve only just had time to have food. That doesn’t matter though, if you need to talk it’s completely fine.” Alecto’s voice was soft and soothing, the sugar and energy from the concert forgotten. She hoped she could do the thing that Marisol did for her: being able to soothe her with just simple words and a warm hand.

“I’ve just been stressed about starting my second year of uni. It’s still a bit off yet, but I’m still nervous. And I struggle to sleep usually, but it’s different with you there, I can actually sleep properly. I kept waking up throughout the night, until I just gave up. I forgot what it was like to struggle to sleep, even though we haven’t been together for long at all. Sadie has been helping though, she loves me quite a lot currently. It’s surprising how much I miss you, and feels so silly.” Her voice sounded watery and kept shaking, getting considerably quieter. Alecto had to strain her ears slightly to hear, and turned up the volume on her phone.

“Do you want to have regular phone calls before you go to bed until I’m back? Will that maybe help a bit with the sleep issues? Also it isn’t silly! The same happened to me, when Abby first moved, and when I first went to uni. My sleeping pattern went out of the window a bit. When you care about someone and love them, it’s understandable to miss them if they’re not there with you constantly. I’m glad Sadie is a good stand in for me though, it’s a miracle she loves you as much as me! That’s so rare, you must be a cat whisperer or something.” Alecto heard a teary and snotty laugh on the other end, and grinned.

“If it’s not too much of a bother, that would be lovely. It’s surprising that I’m actually upset hearing your voice on the phone. I never got homesick when I first left home in the slightest, I was so independent from my family in general that I didn’t really miss them when I left. But you...it’s different. You care about me so much, you’re my safe space, my home. Sadie has been amazing company though, having her has helped a little. I’m not sure if part of my issue here is that...I don’t really have many friends in uni, or in general. I’ve never felt overly lonely, but for some reason, now I do.”

“Not actually surprising. When I first heard my dad’s voice on the phone, I did get pretty upset. Aww, the fact you feel that way about me does warm my heart. I guess if you’ve always been an outcast, it’s hard to deal with other people being different and actually having friends. I was the same when I first got closer to Abby, having two very toxic friends landed me with a shed load of issues and took a lot of courage to let them go. So finally having a healthy friendship and healthy family relationships was strange. But once you find your own friends, you’ll be okay. I understand that scares you, and you prefer to cut yourself off instead and stay at a distance, using the analysis thing as a defence mechanism but I hope that you’ll stop relying on it so heavily with me by your side. You’re not alone either, you still have Hope and Bobby, and both are long distance friendships but still equally as valuable.” Abby prodded her in the arm, trying to hint that she wanted to speak.

“Abby wants to speak to you, let me know if that’s okay.”

“That’s definitely fine.”

“Cool, handing you over now.” Alecto handed her phone to Abby.

“Hi. You clearly mean a lot to Alecto and you’re super special to her, so as her best friend, I’d like to talk to you more and get to know you better. Most of the people she’s dated previously I haven’t been too keen on, but you’re different. I know it might be a little weird, as I did date her before, but we’re still friends and all, and I’d love to extend that to you.”

“Really? I don’t have an issue with you two being friends in the slightest, from what I know, you two were friends first then started dating, so it wasn’t great that people expected you to give that up. Exes can be friends, there’s nothing against it! I’ve never done that myself, but ended up having a lot of messy breakups, even dated my best friend in secondary school and that completely broke the friendship. Olivia did break my heart, so the fact that I could open my heart up enough for Alecto is a big deal. I’m rambling now, but if you’re fine with it, cool.” Marisol was speaking pretty quickly, causing Abby to grin.

“Yup. I definitely mean that, the fact you don’t see me as threatening means a lot. Some people who Alecto’s dated, like only once or twice, had such an issue with it, that it did both of our heads in. I mean, I have a girlfriend now, so I’m not going to ruin anything, like people assumed. I do understand though, and I like you because of the way you and Alecto operate. So that’s all, I just wanted to let you know. I’ll hand you back to Alecto then.” Abby grinned, her voice warm.

“Okay, thank you! It does mean a lot.”

Abby grinned, moving to sort the boxes of food out and sort the mess in her apartment.

“Back to me again. Does that help? You do seem considerably happier, which is reassuring.”

“Yes, I am. It’s sweet of Abby to care about me, so that helps. I’ve never talked about Olivia to anyone apart from you before. So that’s a big deal. But I should probably let you go to bed soon, it’s really late in LA, I know.” Marisol’s voice was still watery, but she had gained enough stability to reassure Alecto a bit.

“Goodnight then. Call you tomorrow, well later today! Let’s organise a time via text or something.”

“Goodnight. See you.” When Marisol hung up, her voice sounded warmer already.

Alecto yawned, getting to her feet. She made her way to Abby’s guest bedroom, getting ready for bed. Once in bed, she dropped off quickly.

[thehoneyedhufflepuff]

hey! you're one of (if not my favorite) fanfic writers, and i just love your writing style. do you have any tips? i'm struggling with writing fanfiction, and i'm currently trying to write and original novel but am having a hard time sorting out certain aspects of the plot and putting events in chronological order.

Hi there!

Apologies for taking a minute to answer this! It’s been on my mind since you sent it though. And I have to say that this is so kind of you. I think I speak for many creatives when I say that hearing your work & style is someone’s favorite is...hell, I don’t even know what to say. It means SO much, because I think we tend to be our own worst critics & beat ourselves up for the things we feel we’re lacking instead of seeing the good sometimes. So thank you so much. 💜

As far as advice...I don’t know if I’m in a position to give very good advice at the moment (I’ve just come out of a bit of a writing hiatus myself) but I will try! I actually just stopped writing for the night to come answer this ask, because words are just not working for me tonight.

So...I finished one original novel about 12 years ago (& no, it will never see the light of day LOL) (though I did get a small scene of it published in my community college’s anthology, so maybe it’s not as awful as I remember) & have considered another over the years, but I’ve gotten caught up in the hows before too. I guess the first thing I’d like to say is that getting caught up or having a hard time sorting things out is normal. (I used to think it just meant I wasn’t cut out to be a writer, that this stuff came easy to everyone else. It doesn’t mean either of those things at all.) I think that sometimes we forget how other writers struggle when all we see is their finished product, right? In reality I feel like we’re all screaming internally. Or at least most of us are. It’s not always hard, but a lot of the time it is! And that’s okay!

The closest I’ve got to writing something “original” lately is with my characterization of Dev & Niall in Between the Lines, & once BTL is done I might tinker with it to see about adapting it into a novel. We’ll see. I use this fic as an example primarily because it’s gotten so long, & I often struggle with it in terms of “what happens between this point & this one,” & because it’s challenged me a lot. I’m going to try to think up some things that have helped me as I’ve written it, & maybe they’ll be helpful for you too?

Something I think about often is how GRR Martin talks about writers in terms of architects & gardeners, which is the idea that some writers know everything that’ll happen from the start & stick to their outline (architects) while others sort of just wing it & the story grows as they write (gardener). IDK that anyone is only one vs the other, but if I had to pick I’d say I’m a gardener type. (Which is how I’ve ended up with a fic that’s nearly 200k lmao god.) I feel like sometimes not knowing what happens next keeps me from writing. Trying to “figure it out” can almost become a form of procrastination for me. So if that’s relatable to you, I’d say the best thing to do is just write. You don’t have to know everything. I’d argue that you don’t even have to know all that much. Sometimes once you start writing—& they don’t have to be good words, just words!—the story starts to weave itself. In the case of BTL, I’ve had some basic things I want to happen. We’ll call them points A — D. And while I’m trying to get from one point to the next, some stuff will happen on the side, or something wild will happen between points C & D that I wasn’t expecting, so now I have other things I need to address before moving on. Which brings me to my next point:

One of the best pieces of advice I ever saw on this site was this: a plot is a problem for the characters to solve. I’m paraphrasing. But the gist is that these solvable problems drive the story. Something I struggled with a lot when I was first starting BTL was plot. And then I realized I already had one. The plot centers around Baz’s mental health & how that affects his relationships. End goal is him & Simon living “realistically ever after” (& Dev & Niall, too!), but there are a lot of problems to solve on their way to that ending. And each problem solved leads to a new problem. (Which reminds me of that Simon quote from CO when they’re having their first kiss, lol.)

My point here is that you don’t need a big sweeping plot (unless of course that’s what you want). Everyday stuff can serve as a plot & guide you.

I hate to say this because I’m not sure it’s actually helpful, but the remedy here is just to write. I work a LOT more out by writing than I do by sitting around thinking about what to write. Sometimes the words come easy. A lot of the time it’s like pulling teeth. But they do come, & you’ll find that you’re figuring things out as you go.

Also, be kind to yourself. There was a while there where writing was ALL I was focused on. I’m currently trying to compartmentalize, because it’s almost like this story became my life. And while I do love it & want to write it & share it, I ended up overlooking other important things in my life in the name of worrying about writing. And so I am on a little journey to find balance now.

Also, it’s okay to write words that suck. Something I’ve experienced the last few days is feeling like the words I’m putting down are awful & out of character & this that or the other, BUT that’s what editing is for. It’s better to have mediocre first draft words down than no words at all. And a lot of the time, it turns out that the words I’ve written aren’t mediocre at all. I just wasn’t trusting the process while I was writing them. I was being too judgmental. Sometimes (a lot of the time) that judgment is really unnecessary. And sometimes our subconscious knows a lot more than we give it credit for.

...I feel like I’ve been rambling & I’m very unsure any of this is helpful at all, but I hope it is!

I went trolling through my blog because I know I’ve gotten asks similar to this before, but I only found one before I got tired lol (I should really put stuff like this under its own tag, whoops). I might’ve said something useful here. Also @vkelleyart shared some tips the other day that you might find helpful!

thanks so much again for the kind words!!! they really mean a lot. & i hope my answer here helps a bit. good luck with your stories!!! 💜

[morathicain]

finished 3wbf & i have ~feelings~ i felt bad for shin cuz miw & neo kind of treated him like a third wheel, like they definitely love him but i feel like it's not in the same way (or to the same extent)? ugh idk my heart just hurt for him😭 & mae being alone at the end! i kinda guessed what would happen with ter but i still wish mae at least had someone😕 so i WILL be reading fics with happy shin and happy mae and those WILL become my hc😌 (1/2) -🥞

i definitely loved watching the show though, like i don’t think i’ll ever get over the cinematography (all the colors!) and the depth of each character. and mild’s acting??? she was so amazing i just—  also all the messages behind the show! there were so many moments miw and mae killed like ugh! i’m probably gonna have to do a rewatch sometime soon or just do a severe fanfic dive cuz i already miss everyone lmao💀 thank you again!! (2/2) -🥞 

Awwwww~~~ you finished it! *_*

Damn, where should I start?

So ... yeah, I feel you! Mae would have deserved to be happy and I absolutely believe she will be! Ter and Phon loved her, but they were both killers, so this kind of redemption might have been difficult to continue afterwards. But still, it hurt seeing Ter die after finally smiling and trying his best to lead another life Q.Q but I BELIEVE that she’s gonna be happy, bc she’s damn strong and she grew a lot throughout the show <3

and yes, I also understand you regarding Shin and Neo and Miw. But now listen, bc I have a theory (which is by now my strongest belief and headcanon). It was kinda weird to see them joking like that, even though Neo and Miw had confessed their love for him before. BUT we have to remember that some time went by after Thana was killed and they wouldn’t joke if this was still a sensitive topic. So imo this scene was to show how far they’ve come and how sure they are in their relationship to actually joke about it without Shin instantly feeling left out but being kinda in on the joke. For us, not much time went by, but for them it DID! So this moment was rather evidence for their growth and love <3

And YES to the cinematography, bc DAMN, that show has a style and I’m in love with it! <3333 and also yes to the depth of the characters and them not being white or black but all being rather grey and having their motivations and moments and reasons. Even when they made us angry or sad bc of something they did.

Mild and Jennie were so amazing in this, it still blows my mind! To ALL the women!!! <3333

Have fun with the aftermath of this show (I should know! 1 year and almost 200k words about them lol) and if you’re gonna read fics, we’re bound to meet again XD

Thanks for screaming at me and please feel free to do so again =^^=

[divinecuriosity]

Could u do a little Fjord ficlit based on lyrics from the song nightmares & flare guns by Seb Adams 👀

This song is so good! And wow I got inspired for this, I hope it makes a bit of coherent sense! (will go up on my ao3 soon, once I finish my 60th fic/200k word celebratory fic!)

Fjord stops sleeping in his room. The first night back in Xhorhas he spends pacing the house, stopping periodically by Yasha’s door. Waiting, listening, cursing himself and walking away, but his feet always carry him back. He winds up finally throwing himself down in a living room chair and digging his nails into the fabric and watches the stairs and upper landing close, convinced he sees shifting in the shadows. 

“Fjord?” There's a voice from across the room, and Fjord jumps, feeling the fabric of the chair tear a bit under his fingertips. 

“Uh, hey, Caleb.” He squints through the dark. Caleb leans on his doorway, Frumpkin curling past his feet. “How long have you been there?” Fjord asks timidly. Caleb chuckles, uncrossing his arms. 

“A minute or two. What has you spooked?” Caleb pushes off the doorway, following his cat into the room. Fjord stiffens as Frumpkin redirects at a low whistle from Caleb, but allows the cat to hop up into his lap. It’s more of a reflex to sneeze now, Caleb’s been working on making Frumpkin tolerable to Fjord’s allergies. Fjord buries a hand in the nape of the cat’s neck and smiles as he immediately sets to purring and flexing his claws in Fjord’s lap. 

“Uh, nothing. Just can’t sleep.” Fjord shrugs, looking back up to see Caleb wave a hand, lighting his fingertips aflame and scanning a bookshelf by their light. “What about you?” 

“It’s morning, Fjord,” Caleb says as an answer. Fjord looks to the window. 

“Right. No sun.” Fjord groans and rubs his eyes with the hand not petting Frumpkin. 

“You should tell Caduceus if you can’t sleep. He probably has a tea or something.” Caleb says softly. Fjord nods, stifling the urge to yawn. Eventually, Caleb retreats back to his room, book in hand, but Frumpkin stays purring in Fjord’s lap. Even if he wanted to get up now, he stays planted until the girls, Yasha included, even if she’s trailing behind a little, come hurtling down the stairs with screams of requests for breakfast. Frumpkin screeches and leaves claw marks in Fjord’s pants in his effort to get away, and Fjord hops to his feet with a wince. He’ll talk to Caduceus after breakfast, he tells himself. When there’s time. 

The second night is as much of the same, and he doesn’t even get halfway to taking Caduceus’s offer of tea up before Jester gets news of their new task for Essek needing immediate attention and they’re all packing bags again. Fjord pretends his grogginess is due to the midnight hour and goes along, shaking his head at Caleb’s pointed glare before they head off into the night. 

The third night he does sleep, on cold damp earth a mile underground, beaten and bruised, and he dreams. He dreams first of an eye, watching in still waters, but it’s not Uka’toa’s, it’s Yasha’s, first green, then lavender, then flashing between them so fast he covers his face with his hands, but no matter how hard he tries to turn away and shield himself the eyes stay, burned into the backs of his eyelids. He must cry out, because Jester shakes him awake, and forces water down his throat, which feels cracked and dry. He takes the next watch and doesn’t wake Beau for her shift, sitting hunched on a rock and watching the slight shifting of their firelight at the edges of Caleb’s magic hut. 

They surface mid-day, blinking in the sudden light, lost in the wastes of Xhorhas but successful and alive. Caleb’s out of spells to really take them home, but while Caduceus and Jester sit down to try and commune a clue about their location, Fjord lays on his back, feeling the sun beat down on his face. A distant part of his mind wonders if the sunlight will keep him awake. He’s asleep before he can manage to open his mouth to ask. 

Fjord dreams he’s treading water. He keeps feeling something in the depths, slimy skin snaking around his feet, but when he kicks out or dives under he sees nothing but dark waters. He can tell he’s losing strength, that the water that should be cold is warm to his goose-bumped skin, a deadly omen. He blinks and one moment where he saw the reflection of the moon, there is a boat. Sleek black wood, two oars, nothing built for open water, but it’s something. He kicks out for it, raises a hand to try and latch on and is met with a hand in return. Someone far stronger than him hauls him up, and he lies panting on the worn wood, blinking salt out of his eyes to see his savior. 

He scrambles back when he sees Yasha, dark wings outstretched, sword in hand. She’s still reaching down to him, and her expression...gives him pause. She’s crying, but she looks happy, happier than he’s seen her in a long time. She looks a lot like she looked over their breakfast before they left the house when Jester had made a face with berries on her pancake, and Beau had switched one of the eyes with a blueberry to make it Yasha’s face, and they had all laughed. Fjord takes a steadying breath and pulls himself up onto the bench of the small boat. Yasha drops her hand, stares at him for a long moment, and sits as well. 

Fjord doesn’t remember what they talk about, but he remembers that she talks, over the crash of waves and the creak of oars as she rows them- somewhere, he doesn’t know. He wakes up to a dark sky, and his friends sat around a fire a yard off, their bags and bedrolls arranged in a protective circle around him. Fjord rolls on his side and watches as Caleb says something that makes Nott laugh, and turn to Caduceus, who hands her a small bowl. He then turns to Yasha, hands her another. She stands and takes the few strides over to where Fjord lies. He blinks and forces his aching muscles to sit upright. 

“Hey,” He says groggily. 

“You passed out,” Yasha says, helpfully handing him the bowl, thinking better of it as his hands shake, and holding the broth to his lips for him. Fjord takes a large sip before responding. 

“I uh, I’m sorry, about that,” Fjord says, carefully taking the bowl in his own hands and forcing them to be still. 

“The other’s told me about why you talk like that, now,” Yasha says softly. Fjord blinks at her, taking another sip. 

“What did they tell you?” He feels bad for being snarky, but he’s still hazy and hurting, and cautious. Yasha smiles. 

“I understand why you would not want to risk another dream.” She says. Fjord slowly nods. 

“It’s not Uka’toa, right now, at least.” He says after another mouthful. Yasha narrows her eyes, stays silent and waits for him to continue. “My mind’s just not always the most pleasant space.” He says finally. Yasha nods, understanding. 

“I have... experienced that,” Yasha says slowly. Fjord sips, eyes trained on her. “I cannot say what works for me would work for you, but...” Yasha glances back towards the group. “I think we all do something, to fight it off.” 

Fjord squints at her. “How so?” Yasha looks at him, settles down on the ground beside him and points. 

“Beau stretches, every night before bed. When we all shared a room she’d push everything out of the way and do splits, hand-stands, every muscle group, just for a few seconds. Then pass out.” Yasha says, moving her hand a little and continue. “Jester, well, you know, she talks. She tells the Traveller about her day, writes and draws in her journal. I kind of do the same, but all to myself, in my head.” 

“Who do you talk to?” Fjord asks, instantly wincing, unsure he wants to know. Yasha barely meets his eyes. 

“Molly, Zualla.” She says, moving her finger again. “Caleb casts his spells, and Nott counts things. Sometimes just her own fingers, over and over until she’s tired enough to sleep.” 

“Caduceus makes tea.” Fjord adds, starting to get the point. Yasha nods and smiles at him. 

“You just have to find something that works for you,” Yasha says gently. Fjord finishes his soup and sets the bowl down. 

“How?” He asks. Yasha sighs and shrugs. 

“Have you ever had a hobby?” She asks, grimacing at her words. “I mean, something physical, repetitive. When you cast spells you always do the same motions.” Yasha says after a moment of silence. Fjord looks at his hands. 

“Guys on the ship sometimes picked up like knitting or woodworking. I was never that good at it.” He curls his thick fingers into his palms. 

“What about wire?” Yasha asks suddenly. Fjord tilts his head. “Beau has a bunch since she bought all those jewelers supplies for crushing the gems. She was complaining about it all just sitting in her bag.” Yasha turns and reaches around into one of the packs piled up next to them, emerging with a spool of silver wire. 

“Could you make something with that?” She asks. Fjord finds the end of it silently, twisting the cord around his index finger. 

“Maybe?” He says, not sounding very hopeful. 

“Try it, and if it doesn’t work try something else.” Yasha pats him a little awkwardly on the shoulder. 

“I need you to watch my back, Fjord.” She says, even softer now. Fjord blinks. 

“I...can do that.” He says. Yasha drops her hand back to her side. 

“I do not know if I will ever be able to... trust myself, again. So, it feels good, almost, to know you’re watching.” 

Watching. It echoes in Fjord’s brain. 

“I don’t think I’ll have to watch forever.” He says, surprising himself. Yasha looks at him, brow knitted. “I think you’ll get there, I mean. I think you were worth saving.” He tries to smile, motion fumbling a bit around his teeth. Yasha’s eyes widen a bit. 

“Thank you, Fjord.” She says with an exhale. “I hope you’re right.”

[twilightofthe]

For the fanfic writer ask meme: E, N & W. Thanks 🙂.

Thanks for the ask, anon! (sorry for responding so late aaaa)  Questions from this writing ask game

E: What character do you identify with most?  Is there a certain fic of yours that captures these qualities particularly well?

C-3PO, I too am loud, over-talkative, anxious, like linguistics, and tend to bother people.  Lol but for real?  Ok, I know I’ve made this joke before, but minus the evil and the murder, I really do relate to Anakin in a way, like I’ve got this entire [post] on why I think he’s ADHD like I am, and his anxiety and general tendency to be a disaster socially resonates with me too, like, I get that.  I’m also a massive drama queen who’s really smart about like one or two particular things so yea.  I’d say overall tho, I’m probably the most like Luke, a little whiny and awkward, a little dramatic, little reckless, love my friends and family a LOT, want to explore.  As to fics that capture similar qualities, I’d definitely say Pas de Deux, the way I write Anakin in it has a LOT of my anxiety and my worst headspace involved and wrapped up in his character, I very much projected a bit while writing it.

N: Any fic ideas brewing that you’d care to share?

Ohhhh honey you’ve got a storm coming….  besides the obvious other two books in walk the (family) line, I’ve got an entire list on a separate document of different stories I want to write, ideas including:

A oneshot fic I’m actually kinda working on right now.  It’s another modern!AU Obikin romcom and I won’t spoil it, but it involves parkour, R2 the parrot, Obi Wan may or may not be James Bond, and Anakin accidentally becomes Twitter famous

An epistolary style fic set during Obi Wan’s time on Tatooine where nine year old Leia finds the emergency comm Bail has to contact him, and both the lonely, kind of awkward young princess and the tired old hermit who should know better but is also lonely and misses both of her parents dearly set up a penpal relationship.  End goal is to establish a relationship that gives Leia a proper reason to name her son “Ben”.

A semi-crackfic where the Jedi Council gets some sort of Clue From The Force™ about the identity of the Secret Sith Lord, that clue being that the Sith Lord is: a politician with close ties to Anakin Skywalker, and also had very specific motives to send Darth Maul to Naboo.  Alllll the wrong conclusions are drawn from that, and the next day, Padmé Amidala is arrested for treason.  Obi Wan is the only Council member who’s like “y’all she’s innocent, it’s clearly the fucking Chancellor”, Sidious tries to manipulate the situation to remove the only two people in his way at once, and poor Anakin spends the entire fic in a state of “UH HI YEAH WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON”  Shenanigans ensue

A 5+1 times they kissed Obikin alternate canon shortfic, because I’m hopeless and want to write shmoop.

A Sadmé (Satine/Padme) Ocean’s 8 AU that came about entirely over me yelling over Cate Blanchett and wanting to write a heist fic starring all of the SW Prequels/TCW ladies being total badasses

This absolutely BONKERS Rebels AU fic where S4 Ezra accidentally pulls both Ahsoka AND Kanan into the World Between Worlds during the Vader fight in S2.  Vader recognizes what happened and promptly kidnaps S2 Ezra who’s there by himself— as well as Maul who’s established a bond with Ezra over the Sith holocron —in hopes of discovering the secret of time travel.  While S2 Ezra has to somehow survive the Crazy Murder Roadtrip with Maul and Vader, now S4 Ezra, Kanan, and Ahsoka have to race to A: Find and rescue S2 Ezra before one of the Sith kill him— and therefore also kill S4 Ezra, B: Make sure Maul and Vader’s tentative alliance doesn’t lead to them finding Obi Wan for obvious reasons, and C: Make sure neither Maul nor especially Vader find the Lothal Temple World Between Worlds entrance and risk unleashing either into a past they both desperately want to change

A fic detailing different little neuroses and traits and attitudes passed down through the Yoda-Dooku-Jinn-Kenobi-Skywalker-Tano line.

Cross generational shortfic focusing on the desert children— Anakin, Luke, and Rey — and their first experiences with water and rain

A ficlet where Yoda somehow gets babified and basically just all of the Jedi Order having to deal with the cuteness overload that is Baby Yoda.

A post-TROS political drama where Leia’s Force Ghost realizes that once again, a new government is gonna need to be built in the aftermath of the First Order’s nonsense and that there are almost no good remaining politicians in the galaxy.  Finn is unfortunate enough to know how command works, how to take charge, how to deal with FO remnants, and is Force Sensitive enough to see ghosts, so Leia takes it upon herself to mold Finn into the next leader of the GFFA.  Would focus on rebuilding, family legacy, be very very Jedistormpilot, and so on.  I feel like I’m not really invested enough in the ST but I reeeeally want to see this idea in fic form, so I might end up giving this idea away at some point.

This one fic that’s been going through my head for YEARS but have always felt scared of actually writing because I know right now that it’s gonna get LONG, like over 200k (lol and look what’s happening with Mutuals ahahAHAHA—) where Anakin flat out dies.  Just, during TCW season 5, he fights Dooku and in the process of killing him, goes down with him and dies.  Padmé will have just became about a month pregnant at this time, and part of the fic will focus on her and Obi Wan and Ahsoka dealing with the aftermath of Anakin’s death, as Sidious is forced to jumpstart his plans and execute Order 66 early now that he’s not waiting on Anakin anymore.  The other part of the fic will focus on Anakin’s ghost, unable to communicate with Obi Wan or Ahsoka and having to watch them and Padmé and the surviving Jedi form the Rebellion themselves and his children being born and growing up without him, even though Luke and Leia will end up being the only ones who can see him.  It’ll go right up through the 20 years of the Empire and have a gigantic cast and I just don’t know if I can do it.

Now, I hate to say it, but I need to let it be known that these are still MY IDEAS, and I have not given anyone permission to use them, so please do not be that person.  Do not steal these ideas for yourself.  I will be VERY upset if someone does.  If you really like an idea, DM me and ask, but I don’t plan to give any of them away at the moment.

W: What is your favorite pairing to write?  Favorite pairing to read?

Hmm, to write?  That’s tough!  There’s so many different complex relationships in Star Wars that I’ve really found myself enjoying exploring, and it’s hard to find a particular one that I like best.  I’m open to at least sampling most pairings for reading, but my favorite has to be Obikin.  It just makes me happy!!!!! :D

Thanks again for asking, and y’all should tell me in the notes if any of the fic ideas sound like something you’d read!!!!!

[blxckdamask]

Trashcan’s Fic Rec

So since it's the end of May, I thought it would be nice to rec some of my favourite fics I've read throughout the month. Most of these are BNHA since that's what I’m into now lmao. I’m doing this instead of writing the 5 fics I have planned and I havent posted in like 3 weeks oops.

Bakudeku Fics:

Plus Ultra Parenting by Superior_Moustache | 39k | 10/? | fluff | established relationship | kidfic 

Izuku and Katsuki, better known to the world as the Wonder Duo: Deku and Kacchan. The married hero couple finally adopted their first child together, a bouncing baby boy. Luckily, they're on paternity leave for one year (thank god), so they can bond with their son as much as possible. They're going to be the best damn daddies and go beyond PLUS ULTRA!

Katsuki Bakugou has No Goddamn Chill (But Its For The Best That He Doesn’t) by Rosae  | 8k | 2/2 | hurt/comfort | fluff | platonic or romantic 

Alternatively titled: The Entire Goddamn School Gives Up On Trying To Understand These Two & Aizawa is Really Tired.

Izuku and Bakugou had a long and complicated history, but most of the school was pretty sure that they understood where the two currently stood as rivals. Then Izuku's dad showed up on campus and everyone's preconceptions were mercilessly thrown out the window. In which Bakugou tries to murder a man, has a soft side and convinces his entire class the twilight zone is real.

Ft. Part 2: Turns out Izuku and Bakugou will work together willingly if given proper motivation. Endeavor showing up for a training exercise apparently qualifies. Aizawa is really tired of these children not asking for help and everyone else is absolutely terrified (and secretly very glad these two don't work together more often).

briar roses (and hundred years of sleep) by vannral | 15k | 5/5 | angst w/ a happy ending | get together | eventual nsfw 

In complete honesty, no one who knows the Class 3-A should be surprised anymore. Izuku is asleep.

In which Izuku is hit by a ‘Sleeping Beauty’ Quirk, Class 3-A tries to find his True Love and get them to kiss him, and Katsuki’s very angry about it all.

Six Between by majjale | 2k | 1/1 | angst | established relationship | betrayal 

Izuku is hospitalized after a nasty fight. Katsuki finally visits.

Utopia by Kanea_vR | 2k | 1/1 | fluff | established relationship | marriage proposal | domestic 

In which Izuku worries that his and Katsuki’s relationship has become too domestic, and Katsuki proves him right. Not that either of them are complaining.

Todobaku Fics: 

No Questions by ravenssaur | 3k | 1/1 | hurt/comfort | angst | deaf!bakugou

Everytime his doorbell rings at 3am, Todoroki knows exactly who is it.

Kitties Tale by Midknight_works | 2k | 1/1 | fluff | domestic | slight nsfw

Bakugou brings home a stray box full of kittens for his and Shouto’s one year anniversary.

Where White Lilies Lay by sodapopcurtis | 17k | 1/2 | break up & make up | angst | hurt/comfort | fluff 

Shouto’s eyes light up in a way that rivals every star in the galaxy, and the past year falls to pieces. “You’re Katsuki.”

With staggered breath, he replies, “You remember me?”

“Of course I do,” Shouto says, “You’re my boyfriend.”

---

Todoroki Shouto gets amnesia and remembers only two things: 1) his name, and 2) that he's dating Bakugou Katsuki.

The only problem is, they broke up a year ago.

Deeper by snakeskinbuffalo | 3k | 1/1 | soulmate au | get together | tw suicide attempt, self harm, depression 

“Katsuki, your soulmate is someone who will always be by your side. They will be someone who completes you. Together, you will make an unstoppable force.”

AU where Bakugou and Todoroki are soulmates and Bakugou is in denial.

Do You Like... (series) by degradedpsychotic | 3 works | 57k | not completed | very nsfw | established relationship | cheating 

Shouto is looking at the damn vent like he’s about to make a break for it. “It’s not, um, what it looks-” “It’s exactly what it looks like,” Katsuki cuts across, his voice losing its bite. Shouto flinches, and silence spreads between them like the frost on Shouto’s fingers.

- - -

Shouto Todoroki and Katsuki Bakugo are tired of their marriage.

better late than never by bonnia | 12k | 1/1 | body swap au | get together | aggressive hand holding (lmao) 

“I’m sorry, but I’m not letting you go. I quite like being in my own body.” Todoroki's next breath comes out icy cold, and Katsuki leans as far back as their joint hands will allow.

“Are you fucking hearing yourself?” he sputters, feeling heat crawl up his neck to his ears.

(or: bakugou and todoroki get hit by a body swap quirk, and physical contact seems to be the only answer to their predicament)

Without Hesitation by XenophoneSpeaks | 8k | 2/2 | love confessions | hurt/comfort | get together | fluff | angst w/ a happy ending

The first time Bakugou told Todoroki he was in love with him, he thought he’d die.

Starting Over From Ground Zero by HyacinthAtropa & XenophoneSpeaks | temporary amnesia | get together | coming out | nsfw | angst w/ a happy ending 

“What would their relationship have been like, if Bakugou’s pride hadn’t stood in the way? Would they have been friends, or would things have mostly stayed the same? Would Bakugou have been happier, more open and honest about his feelings and wants and needs as a person? Would he have accepted and even appreciated the comfort others offered him, rather than always keeping people at arm’s-length in an effort to maintain an image of independence and strength?

Todoroki didn’t know.

He didn’t know. But he wanted to.

Abruptly, like a bolt of lightning, he realized he actually had the chance to find out.”

(Or: that one where Bakugou has temporary amnesia and Todoroki is tasked with caring for him until his memory returns, but ends up falling in love with the part of Bakugou that Bakugou has always kept hidden away instead.)

i don’t need to hear to know how i feel (series) by Lizxcliff | 5 works | 16k | not completed | deaf todoroki | coffee shop au | get together | fluff | angst | eventual nsfw 

“English tea, right?” He asked. The man in front of him stared, unsure of how to interact with the handsome, blonde man. This, of course, annoyed Bakugou. “Speak, moron.” He said harsher. Todoroki continued looking at him. He probably doesn’t speak sign language. He reached towards the left end of the counter and grabbed a paper menu. Searching quickly, Todoroki found the English tea, and pointed to it.

Kacchako Fics:

pink cheeks, calloused hands, small wonders by TheGodWith5Yen | 37k | 7/7 | established relationship | domestic fluff | pregnancy | kid fic | adoption 

Her hands found his. She breathed out. Her breath smelled like Listerine, it made Katsuki wrinkle his nose at her.

“I’m pregnant.”

Katsuki’s eyes widened and he stared at her, his mouth opening. “Oh shit. Shit, whoa, okay, wow.” His hands unclasped from hers and traveled down to her stomach. “Ochako, wow.” Not even an hour ago he was convinced his girlfriend was breaking up with him. His mind couldn’t completely wrap around what was happening, but he couldn’t stop looking at his girlfriend in awe. He kissed her forehead, a smacking kiss with a “mwah” sound that had Ochako rolling her eyes and cuddling closer to him. “You’re pregnant.”

“I am.” Ochako agreed, her voice steady and confidant.

Katsuki licked his dry lips. His mind was racing. “Cool.”

It’s Our Secret, Angel Face by thesweetestnerd | 200k | 39/39 | nsfw | mutual pining | get together | fluff | angst | friends with benefits 

Broken down and humiliated after her crushing defeat in the Sports Festival, Uraraka just wants to sleep off her injuries in the infirmary. She didn't expect to get a very loud and very angry roommate for the night.

(A Kacchako one shot that turned into a love story.)

Other Fics:

Perception (series) by aizawashouta | erasermic | 2 works | 10k | not completed | nsfw | friends to lovers | mutual pining | get together | angst w/ a happy ending 

Five times Hizashi feels like a burden to Shouta and one time he finally snaps with Shouta by his side to pick up the pieces.

-

Hizashi is all too aware that they’re polar opposites, Shouta being the calm to his storm, the quiet to his loud exuberance. Shouta, who’s at his most content curled up on the couch in their shared living room, or anywhere, really, napping or idly playing with their two cats while Hizashi’s busy going through his ever-growing music library, bothering Shouta for his opinion before adding the songs that have gained his friend’s grudging approval to whatever new playlist that he’s working on.

No matter how hard he tries, he can’t leave him alone and, miraculously, Shouta’s been tolerating him for fifteen years.

He hopes to God that it hasn’t become an obligation.

like-like by nanasekei | stony | 5k | 1/1 | POV morgan | fluff | kid fic | steve being a cool step dad | domestic 

Morgan doesn’t really know Captain America.

After The Tournament by bluewerewolfprose | wolfstar & drarry | 175k | 53/? | canon divergent | fix it fic | fluff | angst | angst w/ a happy ending | everyone is gay | trans Sirius | eventual drarry | nsfw 

What if Remus and Sirius realised Harry was being abused? What if all Dumbledore’s careful plans were pulled apart by the power he relied on most of all?

After the Triwizard Tournament, a traumatised Harry admits he can't go back to Privet Drive. Sirius and Remus refuse to submit to Dumbledore's plan and take him back to Grimmauld Place with them, where they must learn how to live together, how to care for one another, and how to trust one another. After so long, can they build a family together? Will they even have a chance when a war rages outside their door? And can the prophecy ever be fulfilled?

[shadowsong26fic]

Milestone Bonus Fic!

Title: Surprises (Precipice Bonus Fic)

Author: shadowsong26

Rating: PG

Fandom: Star Wars

Characters: Luke Naberrie, Motee, Elle, Ahsoka

Warnings: Just the general background stuff going on in the fic proper–war, separation, etc. Nothing on-page.

Summary: The first time Luke actually properly meets his Aunt Ahsoka.

Disclaimer: All characters are the property of their respective creators.

Note: There is a very vague spoiler for an upcoming chapter in the main body of the fic, relating to what Ahsoka’s doing on the planet. But you can read this story without knowing what Ahsoka’s talking about, and I think she’s vague enough about what’s going on that it doesn’t really give anything away? But, just as a note.

This is in commemoration of reaching 200k words in the fic proper! \o/

It was a pretty straightforward mission, or at least it started that way. Bistaad was a medium-sized and fairly remote planet in the Chomell sector, with most of the surface and economy tied up in mining and refinery efforts. The planet’s crust had, according to the Luke’s notes, abnormally high levels of iron and nickel. Despite producing nearly two percent of the dursateel used in construction all over the Empire, the planet’s economy was in shambles, after two heavily contested and maybe-fraudulent local elections, plus a massive fire in the biggest refinery on the larger of the planet’s two landmasses. Between the various investigations, lawsuits, and lost production time, basic necessities were punishingly expensive and what little functional government the planet had was crippled by massive debts.

Mom, as the sector’s Senator, was working on a long-range solution to Bistaad’s crisis (that didn’t involve the Emperor taking direct control of the planet’s industry and appointing a government to supervise). In the short term, though, she had sent Luke--with Aunt Motee and Aunt Elle for protection--to provide food and medical supplies and hopefully take some of the pressure of the planet’s citizens.

The trip to Bistaad was probably the sixth relief mission Luke had gone on in the last three years, and he had a routine down for it. And, up until his second-to-last night on the planet, Luke managed to stick to it pretty well. Even the hard part--meeting with planetary officials, walking that fine line between being supportive and helpful and not promising things he and Mom couldn’t provide--wasn’t as intimidating as it used to be.

But, of course, sometimes, the galaxy was full of surprises.

So, here he was, in one of the rougher districts of Sa’ad City, after finishing up an outreach session, when he felt--something.

It wasn’t an Inquisitor, let alone a Sith Lord--he knew what those felt like--but it didn’t feel exactly like Dad or Leia or Uncle Obi-Wan, either. Closer to them than the alternative, thank the Force, but not the same.

Not something he’d ever felt before.

He reached out and brushed Aunt Motee’s wrist lightly to get her attention.

“Problem?” she asked, in an undertone, while Aunt Elle shifted position slightly on his other side, to better screen him from danger.

He shook his head. “Just…weird.”

“We should get back, then,” she said, firmly.

But he hesitated. “I’m not sure that--”

And then he spotted a tall Togruta woman in a close-fitting black dress heading towards one of the bars.

Her, he knew, right away, and he thought--maybe--

“Heading into the Grey Alaktri,” Luke said, restraining himself from looking directly and giving them away. “You see her?”

“Yes, I do,” Aunt Motee said, after half a second. “That’s…hm.” She exchanged a few quick hand signals with Aunt Elle; he couldn’t quite see them, but he could guess what they were saying.

“Is there any way I can go up and say hello?” he asked. “Without causing problems?” Because if his aunts recognized her, there was no way she wasn’t who he thought she was.

And the last thing he wanted to do was pass up what might very well be his only chance to actually meet his Aunt Ahsoka for years.

Another quick flurry of hand signals, then Aunt Elle said, “Leave it to me,” before slipping off into the crowd.

“Come, young lord,” Aunt Motee said, putting a hand on his shoulder. “You remember that little restaurant we spotted on our way down here?”

“Yeah,” Luke said.

“I think, since we have a moment, that we should sample the real local cuisine, rather than what they feed us up the hill, yes?”

Luke nodded, catching on. “I think that’s a great idea.”

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

The real local cuisine, as Aunt Motee put it, turned out to be some sort of dense red meat coated in a thick greyish sauce that surprisingly spicy, which came with thin-sliced fried tubers that had no right to be as delicious as they were.

Aunt Motee just got a mug of the local variety of caf, which was way too bitter for Luke’s taste, and then guided him to a small table in the corner, half-screened by a fake potted plant.

“Eat,” she urged, taking a sip of her caf and hitting a few hidden buttons on the underside of her bracelet. “Elle might be a while.”

“Right,” he said. He took a few more bites of the unidentifiable meat, then asked, carefully, “d’you think she’ll come?”

“Hard to say,” Aunt Motee answered right away. Quietly, but right away, which meant that she’d already done something to any surveillance devices this place might have. “Depends on why she’s here in the first place.”

Luke nodded, a little disappointed. It wasn’t that he hadn’t thought of that, exactly--for Aunt Ahsoka to come this far into the Mid Rim, it had to be Important.

On the other hand, Mom and his aunts generally tried not to send him into any situation that might lead to him crashing into an active operation. He didn’t ever have enough information, and there was always the chance that he’d be identified as his very recognizable mother’s only son, so he’d just be in the way.

“Just be patient, young lord,” Aunt Motee said, taking another sip of her caf. “We’ll find out soon enough.”

She’d barely managed to say that when one of the stones on her bracelet lit up; a few seconds later, the fake plant shifted aside and Aunt Elle joined them, followed by the Togruta in the black dress.

It was all Luke could do to keep from bounding up in excitement, but all that Polish and Manners Mom and his aunts had drilled into him took over, and he shifted it into standing politely. “Hi,” he said, and grinned.

Aunt Ahsoka grinned back, and slid into the booth next to Aunt Motee, while Aunt Elle joined Luke on his side, nudging him to take his seat again.

“Hey there, kid,” she said. “I probably shouldn’t stay long, but there was no way I could pass this chance up.”

Luke nodded. “That’s…kind of what I thought, too,” he said. “When I saw you. I hope I didn’t interrupt anything?”

She shook her head. “No. Nothing official. Rex is here on some personal business, and I came along to watch his back.”

Luke perked up at that. “Is he…?”

“Sorry,” she said, making a face. “He’s back with our ship. I came ahead to scout out the club we’re heading to. It’ll take him almost an hour to get here without making a lot of noise.”

And Luke knew they probably shouldn’t wait that long. “Oh,” he said. “I’m still glad I got to meet you. Like, actually meet you, finally. Maia’s told me so much about you.”

Aunt Ahsoka grinned. “Good things, I hope.”

“Well, obviously,” Luke said, grinning back.

“I hear good things about you, too,” she said. “When you got your license, your dad would not shut up about it for, like, a month. It was hilarious.”

Luke felt himself flushing, but he couldn’t help but keep smiling. “Really?”

“Really, really,” she said. “He’s super proud of you, kid. We all are.”

“Well,” he said, straightening his shoulders in his best imitation of Mom’s Accepting a Challenge posture, “I’ll just have to live up to that, won’t I.”

Aunt Ahsoka laughed at that--not like she was making fun of him, like she was pleased, and it warmed something deep inside him. “I have no doubt you will,” she said.

Luke nodded, and relaxed again. “I hope everything’s going well? I mean…I know you can’t tell me a whole lot, not here and now, but…”

And that was the problem with meeting like this, he realized. There were so many things he wanted to ask Aunt Ahsoka, about some of the things Dad and Leia and Uncle Obi-Wan had shown him on Alderaan that he wasn’t sure he remembered exactly right, plus things about her life, and the adventures he knew she’d had, during the Clone War and more recently, and…

And he couldn’t say any of it. There wasn’t time, and Aunt Motee’s bracelet could only do so much.

“Things are…going,” Aunt Ahsoka said, carefully. “More things are going right than wrong, at least lately. I’m not sure this trip will pan out the way Rex wants it to, but I don’t think we’ll run into any trouble. Just disappointment.”

“Right,” he said. “Well, I hope it doesn’t. I mean. That it ends better than you expect.”

“Me, too,” she said, then, before he realized what she was doing, reached across the table and snagged one of his fried tubers.

“…aren’t you an obligate carnivore?”

“Well, yeah,” she said. “But these are really good. And if I only have a couple, it’s okay.”

“All right,” he said, but he pulled the plate a little closer to himself just the same.

She laughed again. “Anyway. All that aside…you’re gonna be able to come see us soon, right?”

Luke blinked, and looked up at Aunt Motee--this was news to him. For all he’d asked Aunt Sabe about going to a base way back when…

“If things go smoothly,” Aunt Motee said. “We’re in the process of putting together a cover. Assuming you’re still in the same place in a few months.”

“Really?” Luke said.

“You’ve talked about this with us before,” Aunt Elle pointed out.

“Well, yeah, but…”

“It’s a little different when it’s not just a hypothetical?” Aunt Ahsoka guessed.

Luke nodded. “Yes, exactly.”

“Well, either way,” she said. “With a little bit of luck, we’ll see each other again in a few months. And we’ll have a little more time and space to talk.” She winked at him. “Maia was telling me how sloppy your footwork is, which I need to see for myself so I can fix it. And, more importantly, properly tease your dad about it.”

“It wasn’t that bad,” Luke protested. “Plus, she’s been doing this for ages, and I was new.”

“I know, I know,” Aunt Ahsoka said, holding up a hand. “Just teasing.” She considered for a minute, tilting her head, then stole another. “I should probably get going, but…it was good seeing you, kid. Give your mom and everyone my love, okay?”

Luke nodded. “Yeah, the same. I mean. Mine.”

“I know what you meant,” she said. She stood and bowed, carefully, small, but Jedi-style; he copied the motion and she smiled one last time, softly. “Until the next time, kid. May the Force be with you.”

And, just like that, she was gone.

Luke watched the plant for a minute, until it fell still again after she’d passed, then leaned into Aunt Elle just a little. “Thank you,” he said, softly.

She wrapped an arm around his shoulder. “Of course, young lord,” she said, and let that rest for a moment before saying, “although, if you really want to thank me…”

He looked up at her, and she had her best innocent, wheedling expression on.

“She wasn’t wrong about those tubers.”

He giggled, and pushed the plate into the middle of the table.

This trip to Bistaad had started out mostly ordinary, and it looked like it would end that way, too.

But in the middle…for a moment, in the middle, it had been something special. Something he hadn’t even really thought to hope for.

The galaxy was like that, sometimes. Full of surprises.

[maliciouslycreative]

So I’ve mentioned a lot of times over the years that I used to be fandom famous in a small anime fandom and I spent a lot of my time running damage control to an anti however I’ve never actually recounted the whole tale for you all. Buckle up and crack open a lemonade because we’re going on a journey (more under the cut).

The year is 2004, I’m 17, and in my final year of high school. I wrote a lot of fanfic back then, mostly for anime fandoms and around the time I joined Gaia I started posting my fanfic “Several Blows to the Head” which became unexpectedly extremely popular. But before I go forward I feel I should give some back story because some of you will probably get extremely confused very fast otherwise.  

For those of you who don’t know about gaia online let me give you some history. Gaia was pretty much THE SHIT back in the mid to late 2000s. It was an anime themed forum website where you had a little avatar you could dress up.You gained gold by posting, playing mini games, posting in polls, or even just browsing in general. There were hundreds of subforums and in each of them a tonne of active threads. Another feature was the guild system. Basically anyone could create a guild which was pretty much your own themed subforum that  the guild admin could decide the rules and who was able to join as long as they still followed Gaia’s ToS. 

The anime I was into was (Bakuten Shoot) Beyblade, which at the time was an ongoing series. For those unfamiliar with the series a bunch of teenagers use battling tops possessed with the spirits of ancient mythological creatures and even gods to fight each other. Let’s just say it wasn’t winning any awards for amazing writing but it was a lot of fun and I LOVED my small corner of the fandom. It was pretty much your average shonen series of the time which meant that it had a main cast of 5 male characters (with a female lead added in the second season) and then very few minor female characters. The only actual canon ship was only made canon in a post canon addition to the manga that was not even released outside of Japan. So I bet you all are coming to the same conclusion that yes, there was incredibly bad shipping drama. The breakdown of shipping pretty much looked like this

10% slash

70% canon male/OC

20% canon male/canon female

Now to resume our story. I joined Gaia and headed over to the anime forum and found the main Beyblade thread. I posted an introduction and in it made mention that I was a fanfic writer and I liked slash. This was when I met C. I’m not going to drag her name as all of this went down over a decade ago and I hope that she’s grown as a person since then. If any of you are REALLY resourceful I mean the threads still exist. You can go find them and see just how awful it got.  

C was a year older than me and apparently the authority in these parts on all things Beyblade. She was also a writer but in her own words did not write fanfics, she wrote and posted novels. She was pretty well known in the canon/OC circles and had a pretty enthusiastic following. 

So when I came in to that thread and introduced myself I opened a can of worms. I was told that we did not discuss slash ships in this thread because it was not canon and it made some people uncomfortable. And ok, I can see that. It was cool. I was there to have fun and chat with people. I mean anyone that wanted to chat slash I could add on YIM, MSN, or LJ. However, 2 things started driving the knife into the wound.

It was not ok to talk slash but it was perfectly ok for C to discuss in depth her fanfics because it was an OC and obviously did not contradict canon as the stories were post (a currently unfinished) canon

People kept recognising me because my fanfic was exploding in popularity. So people kept bringing up slash and I’d get dragged into it as my fic was usually a catalyst for discussion. 

To keep things from escalating us slash fans decided to make our own thread to talk Beyblade slash. Now, there was some divide in the slash fandom and people pretty much shipped only Kai/Takao or Kai/Rei but for the sake of everyone’s sanity we put our shipping differences aside in the thread and aimed to make it a positive space for everyone. I mean, most of us were multishippers so we tended to just be excited to read anything that wasn’t one of the 9000 OC fics we had to wade through to find any slash. 

Whenever people would come into the main Beyblade thread now if they happened to mention slash they would get an extremely cold message from C if one of us didn’t manage to intervene first and direct the new member to our other thread. 

The other crux of the problem was Kai. Kai was probably the most popular character in the English fandom and Kai was C’s favourite character. She had an extremely specific idea of how people should interpret Kai. If anyone came into the thread and made a post like “I LOVE KAI <3 <3 <3” she would be rather unkind to them making back handed comments about how the person only liked him because he was attractive or a “bad boy” or that if they didn’t have anything to add to the thread they should leave because we didn’t like spamming in the thread. If we ever started character analysis on Kai then C had to have the last word. After all she shared some characteristics with Kai and obviously that meant that she therefore knew him the best. 

You all can probably imagine how well conversations went in this thread. I did my best to kindly welcome people to the thread, redirect them when they needed to be, and tried to calm down discussions when they got too heated. And if things got too bad in the main thread we’d just move to the slash thread and be super excellent to each other. There were days where C became so unbearable that her friends that didn’t even ship slash would come into the slash thread to hang with us because we were just really nice. 

She was also extremely pushy with her fics. Whenever fanfics would come up shed be the first to suggest to anyone that they should read her novels. She even tried it repeatedly on the slash fans. Being completely fed up I one day made her an offer that if she read one of my fics I’d read all of hers. I didn’t even specify which fic. So she could’ve chosen one of my under 5k fics and I would have agreed to read like 200k worth of her fics. She never agreed to this in all the years of me dealing with her. 

The worst part of it all was we couldn’t even really report her for harassment or anything because she was friends with a lot of moderators. The last thing any of us wanted was to get banned over some petty grievance since we’d lose all our hard work to making our avatars look fabulous. 

If the whole mess in the forums wasn’t bad enough there was 1 Beyblade guild and guess who the guild admin was. The atmosphere in said guild could best be described as… tense. Anyone that wasn’t one of C’s rabid followers ran under the constant fear that they’d be booted for saying something that didn’t agree with her narrow view of things. My best friend and I were honestly surprised that she even allowed us into the guild. But she probably couldn’t afford to outright deny us as I was a pretty prominent writer in the english slash community then and my friend was also a prominent writer and artist. 

Eventually we got tired of walking on eggshells constantly so some of the other slash fans and myself pooled our resources together and I created a second Beyblade guild. Our message was simple, we were just there to be a safe haven for ALL fans of the series. We were expecting pretty much the people from the slash thread and then maybe a handful of other people to join.

The entire fandom on Gaia over the course of a couple days abandoned C’s guild and joined ours. Whereas before we created ours hers was on a steady traffic decline our guild was BOOMING with posts. 

Unfortunately the oldest mail I have is from 2007 on Gaia so I don’t have any screenshots of this but C was understandably upset that we’d sniped her entire user base. We did try to smooth it over with her saying that that was never our intention but it ended with her sending me a message that literally said “ok, you win” and this is something I still think about over a decade later. It forever shifted how I perceive antis. 

My whole time in fandom I’d just been here trying to have a good time. I didn’t intend to become fandom famous. I didn’t intend to be in charge of one of the most active Beyblade forums at the time. I wasn’t trying to change C’s mind or fight her. And this whole time she’d thought I’d been fighting against her because we had different views on the series. 

The last episode of Beyblade G Revolution aired in September 2005, her guild officially closed in 2006 and the fandom eventually started drifting into other things. I stayed active in it until probably 2008 when personal stuff drew me out of fandom and then officially took a leave from fandom in 2009 when my best friend passed away. I don’t know what happened to C but I know she was still writing her novels at that point. Whenever I see fandom drama brewing I always think back to her and how frustrated she used to make me and then I think of the “ok, you win” and I’m just left feeling sad for her and people like her. I just don’t understand how people can let their hearts be so consumed by hatred and self righteousness that it poisons their entire fandom experience. I guess that’s a conversation for another time.

One final comment that I would like to make here since I didn’t know where to fit it in above is that my one friend was completely DONE with C one day and we were talking to each other and she was like “she acts like her fics save lives in Africa!” and honestly this is the most perfect description of C’s attitude. Like good for her for believing in her writing but there is sometimes a point where you need to chill out with self promotion.