#but there is some weird ways they are not writing the canon relationship
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
sokuly419 Ā· 1 day ago
Text
Now that Arcane is done, Iā€™ll share my thoughts as I did with the previous two acts. It wonā€™t be as long probably, but it would feel weird to me to not do one for act 3/Arcane as a whole.
I have some mixed feelings on it like everyone else it seems. Really, I agree that so much more could have been done if they were given a third season. I think it would have been better.
Overall, I loved this act and I loved the whole show. Of course I have some issues with how it played out this time. It was all rushed and crammed. A third season would have done WONDERS. I see those complaints, and I acknowledge them. I also understand not seeing the conversations and growth that happened off screen. I agree that we were robbed of Viā€™s arc and her trauma. We were robbed of a Cait and Vi actually rebuilding their relationship. Season 2 was flawed, yes. But I donā€™t know a show Iā€™ve watched that isnā€™t. This includes She-Ra too.
They may have fumbled a bit, but I still personally enjoyed it. The lesbians won, thereā€™s some open ends for the other locations they want to explore, and so much more.
Unfortunately Iā€™m already seeing caitvi turn into the catradora wars. Iā€™m not engaging in it. If you call caitvi toxic and not catradora I donā€™t know what to tell you. Thatā€™s my position on it. Yļæ½ļæ½all can be critical about it, that fine. We donā€™t have to agree, but Iā€™m not dealing with the arguments and Iā€™m sure not going to involve myself in them. Just like catradora, in my opinion, a lot of growth and redemption arcs took place off screen. Itā€™s a major, major bummer. But these arguments are literally catradora all over again.
At this point, you want a redemption arc? Fanfic is the way to go. Iā€™ve already read some amazing ones. Post canon and dealing with the trauma and losses, exploring Viā€™s pit fighting phase, Caitā€™s redemption/realizations in those 7-8 odd months they were apart, the arguments of the things that happened, the AUs even. Soft fics, smut fics, itā€™s all there. Iā€™m even writing some myself.
So likeā€¦ take a collective breath, criticize all you want. But thereā€™s no need to turn this into the catradora/She-Ra wars all over again with all the arguing. People genuinely enjoyed the show. I know I did. Iā€™m sad itā€™s over but so, so glad it happened.
34 notes Ā· View notes
senselessviolets Ā· 1 day ago
Text
random will graham headcanons (childhood, teen years, college, etc.)
Rating T
WARNINGS:
Mentions of murder (canon typical), homicidal ideation, child abuse, alcoholism.
Authorā€™s Notes:
Title says it all. Just some headcanons based off of the show, bits of Red Dragon and my own personal intuition because I'm THAT good. /s
Tumblr media
He doesnā€™t know why his mom left because his dad refuses to tell him and would get furious anytime he brought it up as a child.Ā 
He experienced corporal punishment from his dad but if asked, wouldnā€™t consider it to be abuseā€”no matter how emotionally traumatic it was for him.Ā 
His dad George was a survey technician in the US Army Corps of Engineers. His mother Adaline had worked as a pharmacist before Will was born.Ā 
He was never allowed pets growing up, hence why he now owns so many dogs.
With his undiagnosed ASD and constant moving around for his dadā€™s job, Will struggled to form any long-lasting, meaningful relationships in his youth.
His dad would occasionally write letters to Will and send him various gifts (Bourbon, aftershave, new lures) around the time of his birthday or the holidays. He stopped after Will was imprisoned and hasnā€™t written to him since.Ā 
Will tried to approach girls he had crushes on when he was a teen but they were always dismissive of him or thought he was weird.
He lost his virginity in a clumsy drunken one-night stand in his sophomore year of college. She was his roommateā€™s ex and there was some drama over it.Ā Ā 
Will has experienced lots of frustration with the women in his romantic life who in his mind toyed with his feelings and strung him along. He was always so willing to commit himself to the right girl and even imagined himself as the kind to settle down and get married young but the opportunity never arose.Ā Ā 
Throughout his teenage years, he imagined often how he would kill his dad and was convinced he could get away with it.
Will dated a Law student in his junior and senior year of college and they had been going steady until after theyā€™d slept with each other one night and Will had a hyperrealistic dream in which he strangled her in her sleep, dismembered her, and scattered her all around campus. This dream disturbed Will so deeply that he broke things off with the girl right after, providing little explanation as to why.
Willā€™s want to become a father and to protect and nurture his ā€œstraysā€ (Abigail Hobbs, Georgia Madchen, Peter Bernadone, his actual fucking dogs) is very much ego-driven. Itā€™s not as genuine or wholesome as he might want you to think or how he even perceives it to be.
Will was pretty widely disliked at the police department he was a detective for as well as the FBI Academy.
His alcoholism developed as a way to numb his overstimulated senses and to cancel out the intrusive thoughts he has. As time has gone on, his reliance on liquor has only grown; a habit he picked up from his father.
Will is a notoriously harsh grader and is quick to shut down any dissenting opinions about his ā€œstyle of teachingā€.
Heā€™s definitely had inappropriate thoughts/fantasies about a few of his students, ranging from shallow sexual attraction to full-blown abduction.Ā 
He doesnā€™t own a television or a computer and begrudgingly owns a smartphone for his job.Ā 
The majority of his interests and likes/dislikes are ones he got from his dad. His dad loved to fish. His dadā€™s favorite singer was Johnny Cash. His dad liked the color green. Will probably feels as if these are what he should like and if you actually asked him how he felt about ____ or if he really liked XYZ; he wouldnā€™t know how to answer.Ā 
A huge part of the reason he loves dogs is that they do not know they are ā€˜keptā€™. As opposed to a human being who could recognize if they were taken from everything they know or forced to live the life of another; dogs donā€™t think that way and above all, they are undyingly loyal.Ā 
^^ And yes, this is my way of saying I subscribe to the popular headcanon that Will has stolen some of his dogs.
Morally grey sweaty dog man.
I hate him.
Follow me on twt: @endlessviolets
<3
22 notes Ā· View notes
hazbinstohell Ā· 9 months ago
Note
When you compare Chaggie to other canon relationships in the universe, like Fizzmodeus, Moxillie... You realize how poor they really are in comparison. The fact that they are already a couple when the show begins is not an excuse, especially when you compare once again to these two canon couples already established that I cited above. Even StaticMoth vague secondary relationship seems more interesting from what little we've seen of it, not to mention the borderline mythological story of Lucilith which is extremely intriguing. Not to mention the relationships in development like Stolitz (frankly epic by the way) CherriSnake and Huskerdust... I mean, compared to all these other main romantic relationships that are already canon, those that are more or less canon but secondary, and those that are currently being developed... Chaggie is no match for me... I heard that they were originally just supposed to be best friends and that the designer changed that at the last minute ? Well if it's true, it shows. And a lot. And it's a shame, because they have great potential. But I don't find it treated well enough... It's very sad to be called homophobic by part of the fandom for this simple difference of opinion.
I agree. I feel like we have both - we have multiple canon relationships that have been done, but they are treated as relationships that are developing or organically working, such as Millie and Moxie. While I understand that Viv decided to make Charlie and Vaggie a thing, it would also seem that from pilot to Season, they could have added some elements that make the relationship much more organic and such. To make Vaggie her ā€œprotectorā€ just ruffles me up a lot. Seeing them maybe have more conversation, engaging, flirting, and such would have made more sense. Not ā€œYou have to be careful!ā€ Or ā€œMaybe we shouldnā€™t do somethingā€ does not tell me that the relationship is working. Charlie has some grand ideas that Vaggie doesnā€™t seem to accept.
I really like Charlie, and I want someone who could be supportive.
And then someone out there is going to be like ā€œIt isnā€™t Alastor!ā€ I didnā€™t say that, however, he has done more for her confidence than Vaggie has, and I absolutely believe he is going to be a big bad for them, but then Charlie is going to lead him down a better path-which, unfortunately people STILL donā€™t seem to understand that that is the ENTIRE point of Hazbin-Sinners are not EVIL, they have made decisions that are not GOOD, and that Heaven themselves are also not making strict black and white choices with who they are putting there(Adam should be in Hell, change my mind).
Problem is, we have some great, GREAT characters! I love them all in their own way, but relationship mechanics? The story? Meh. Iā€™m having fun with my own ship, and Chaggie can enjoy theirs. Itā€™s as simple as that.
67 notes Ā· View notes
quietwingsinthesky Ā· 1 year ago
Note
Do you agree w/ the fandom interpretation that john was so homophobic heā€™d have beaten up and abandoned his sons for being gay? Cause sure, he grew up in the 60s as a mechanic and then later became a marine during the vietnam war, but i also donā€™t think homophobia wouldā€™ve necessarily been a priority for him? Like obviously heā€™s not gonna be the full on supportive and politically correct loving dad, but i think that the fandomā€™s general opinion on that is pretty warped by peopleā€™s relationships w/ their own fathers
I do think this is one place where people tend to project. I donā€™t think thereā€™s anything wrong with that; working out our issues through fiction is healthy and good! I donā€™t think thereā€™s any canon proof of it beyond, as you said, him being a marine from the sixties who would probably not be super knowledgeable about being queer, maybe a little apprehensive about it from what heā€™s absorbed through the culture he grew up in. I think weā€™d be correct to point out that if Sam or Dean were queer, he might be uncomfortable about it, he might try to avoid the topic, which is in of itself hurtful.
The thing about me is: I fully disagree that John was ever physically abusive towards his kids. At most, I will bend this interpretation to say he was probably too harsh on them while teaching them to fight and that maybe he and Sam have traded blows before when arguments got too loud (by blows, I mean, probably shoving with the yelling, you know, assertion of physical space. It seems realistic to me that two people who have been using violence for a long time to protect themselves, and for John, his family, down to the hierarchal power heā€™s put in place of him -> Dean -> Sam, would resort to it when things got too heated.)
(I also think that sometimes fandomā€™s insistence that John had to be physically abusive can sometimes get a little insulting because it perpetuates the idea that emotional abuse does less harm and can be overlooked and for flattening out Johnā€™s character in a way the show very literally pointed to and said He Did Not Do That. This is the entire point of Maxā€™s episode in s1, for the show to point out that their experiences of abuse were different. How well it was handled is arguable, but I take it as clear evidence that when we talk about Johnā€™s relationship with his sons, the focus should be on the emotional abuse, the codependency he developed with Dean from a very young age, his neglect of them both, his attempts to suppress Sam, etc. And I appreciate this about the show, because you canā€™t talk about any of those things without also talking about why theyā€™re happening, why John thinks this is necessary, how he loves his sons and isolates them to protect them and ends up doing more and more damage that will never leave them through their entire lives.
Iā€™m sure thereā€™s depictions of John being physically abusive that handle it with the same amount of nuance that the show handles him being emotionally abusive in canon. I have not seen them, unfortunately. Iā€™ve seen John being physically abusive 90% of the time just being used as shorthand for him being Bad and Evil and A Terrible Father. Which does not interest me. So I will remain here as a staunch defender of He Would Not Fucking Hit His Kids.)
Sorry, okay, we got off topic there this is about gay shit.
The point of All Of That was for me to be able to say, Johnā€™s not going to react to his sons being queer by beating them. Heā€™s definitely not going to abandon them. Hello? John Winchester? Abandon his kids? John Winchester, the guy who has been keeping them in warded up motel rooms their whole lives and moving them across the country out of paranoia the demon who killed his wife could find them if they say anywhere too long? John Winchester who only trusted one or two people to ever look after his sons when he went on a hunting trip too long? We think that John would ditch his kid because theyā€™re queer???
Like I said, I think the most realistic reaction for John, (if not just flat out him going ā€˜thatā€™s fine, now load this gun while I time you because thatā€™s more important for me to know that you can doā€™, because. He kind of has bigger priorities to worry about here. Like werewolves.) would be discomfort and pushing it out of his view, ignoring it. Which would still fucking hurt! And would have horrible effects on Sam and Dean both, would encourage Dean to repress it if he thinks his dad is ashamed of him, would push Sam away if he trusts John with this fact about himself and canā€™t be accepted easily.
I just think this is truer to Johnā€™s character.
Anyway. If nothing else here persuades anyone reading that John Would Not Fucking Do That, well. He thought his kid was demonspawn, remember? He thought Sam was corrupted and might not be able to be saved. I donā€™t think you can get more clear queercoding than that, and you know what Johnā€™s very telling response was to that information, to finding out something a thousand times more terrifying than Sam being gay ever could be? To refuse to look at it. To insist to himself that whatever Hell wanted with Sam, he wouldnā€™t let it happen. To tell Dean to take care of it, because even when John is certain that his son might literally become a demon, he could never bring himself to pull the trigger on him. Because he loves Sam.
So like. He literally would not do anything for the much smaller realization that Sam is gay. His son has demon blood that might turn him super evil, and John still wouldnā€™t hurt him.
I guess what Iā€™m trying to say here is, I try to keep the fact that John loved his sons at the forefront of my mind when Iā€™m writing stuff about him, because I think if you let that slide out of your head, you can very easily make him much worse, much more flat than he was in canon. The real picture of him is just an extremely flawed man in a terrible situation who fucks up his kids as much as he protects them.
And also he wouldnā€™t care about them being gay because JohnAzazel real and true and they fucked sloppy in that hospital basement-
41 notes Ā· View notes
merlin-wolfgang-trades-hale Ā· 2 years ago
Text
ā€œI may teeter the line between pretty stupid and pretty beautiful, but the important thing being is that I am always pretty!ā€ a very tipsy but not exactly yet drunk, Steve McGarrett stumbling home wanting a smooch from his husband, having just been delivered by the other now out and proud navy buddied whoā€™s op that night was getting Steve home because itā€™s the only way to shut him the fuck up about his Danno who he obviously missed so damn much, but itā€™s very much not Steveā€™s fault that this reunion fell around the same time Danny was getting back from Jersey after visiting for his sisterā€™s birthday.Ā 
Dannyā€™s listening to him ramble about how one of his friends called Steve pretty annoying but Steve corrected him.Ā 
The imagery could be added with Steve tripping and stumbling to the ground before ninja-ing(tipsy) onto the couch desting his head on Dannyā€™s lap. Trying to get comfy and hug Danny while in this position. Telling him about his night, momentarily forgetting his goal before heā€™s reminded again and trying his best to get a kiss.Ā 
51 notes Ā· View notes
desperatecheesecubes Ā· 5 months ago
Text
Every time I see a post making fun of people being afraid to get into comics I think about how when I was first getting into comics I thought it would be fun to read Infinite Crisis because it was a HUGE event and it would give me an idea of what a whole slew of runs and characters were like. I made a post about some panel pretty early into the event (I think it was a build up comic that wasn't even officially part of the Road To Infinite Crisis so EARLY early) and some blog I didn't know made fun of me for not knowing the greater context of the panel I was commenting on. And while I was naively typing up a quick little 'ah sorry I'm new to comics and didn't know that. Thanks for the context!' they had gone through my blog and started doing the same for a bunch of other comics I'd read, and then mocked me for reading IC when I clearly new so little about comics.
Now, obviously, that behavior is ridiculous, and I just blocked them, but it did stick with me. It was one of my earliest interactions with comic fandom and I never forgot it. Most of the people I've intereacted with have been lovely. Even when I have gotten comic cannon wrong corrections are normally very kind. But not all of them are, and the ones who aren't are so vocal about it.
So i actually don't think it's the comics themselves that make getting into comics an unappealing prospect.
#Think about how people have to defend their newness to comics when asking for clarification.#'Help I'm new to coimcs' you shouldn't have to defend that to get an answer actually#I think the people who act like you NEED to be an expert on a character before saying you're a fan are just wrong to be clear#I can be a fan of a character without having read every issue their in ever#You can write a fanfic for a character without knowing their entire history if you want. It's fanfic. The actual authors dont bother#And sometimes you just gotta remind yourself of that#Reading a fan comic with a scenerio that would never happen in canon isn't a sin if it's fun for the people involved.#I've said before that I really like post resurrection fics that focus on Jason and Bruce's relationship because it lets me live vicariously#through jason in having parents who accept me for who i am despite our differences and still loving me#That's pretty explicitly not the relationship they have in cannon and thats fine#I can still look at their relationship and go 'oh damn this has some ingredients to make this scenrio really emotionally satisfying'#Like yeah yeah the concept that comics themselves are gate kept is a little ridiculous when reading comics online is so easy#but how many times have you had a negative experience in a real comic shop#because I know that i have!#How many times have you seen a blog get aggresive about someone being perceived as a non comic reader like thats a slur#I love comics. Obviously because I run ablog where i talk about them all the time.#but I'm not gonna dox someone who only watches the movies or the shows#there are forms of media where I've only consumed the adaptations#So when people say 'you're gate keeping comcis' REALLY think about how you talk about people who haven't read many comics#Becauase as far as I'm concerned if you constantly treat people like shit unless their in your little pre approved circle of#'Actual Comic Readers' then yeah you are gate keeping comics and its fucking weird#mine#No way in hell I'm tagging this as anything lmfaooo#sorry for the rant in the tags I have many feelings about this#not me going off in the tags
3 notes Ā· View notes
jankwritten Ā· 2 years ago
Text
I suppose the pros of going to a social event that gave me massive anxiety is that it makes me appreciate writing in the quiet of my own room ten times more. three cheers for the small things.
11 notes Ā· View notes
mortalityplays Ā· 5 months ago
Text
This is a dangerous sentiment for me to express, as an editor who spends most of my working life telling writers to knock it off with the 45-word sentences and the adverbs and tortured metaphors, but I do think we're living through a period of weird pragmatic puritanism in mainstream literary taste.
e.g. I keep seeing people talk about 'purple prose' when they actually mean 'the writer uses vivid and/or metaphorical descriptive language'. I've seen people who present themselves as educators offer some of the best genre writing in western canon as examples of 'purple prose' because it engages strategically in prose-poetry to evoke mood and I guess that's sheer decadence when you could instead say "it was dark and scary outside". But that's not what purple prose means. Purple means the construction of the prose itself gets in the way of conveying meaning. mid-00s horse RPers know what I'm talking about. Cerulean orbs flash'd fire as they turn'd 'pon rollforth land, yonder horizonways. <= if I had to read this when I was 12, you don't get to call Ray Bradbury's prose 'purple'.
I griped on here recently about the prepossession with fictional characters in fictional narratives behaving 'rationally' and 'realistically' as if the sole purpose of a made-up story is to convince you it could have happened. No wonder the epistolary form is having a tumblr renaissance. One million billion arguments and thought experiments about The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas that almost all evade the point of the story: that you can't wriggle out of it. The narrator is telling you how it was, is and will be, and you must confront the dissonances it evokes and digest your discomfort. 'Realistic' begins on the author's terms, that's what gives them the power to reach into your brain and fiddle about until sparks happen. You kind of have to trust the process a little bit.
This ultra-orthodox attitude to writing shares a lot of common ground with the tight, tight commodification of art in online spaces. And I mean commodification in the truest sense - the reconstruction of the thing to maximise its capacity to interface with markets. Form and function are overwhelmingly privileged over cloudy ideas like meaning, intent and possibility, because you can apply a sliding value scale to the material aspects of a work. But you can't charge extra for 'more challenging conceptual response to the milieu' in a commission drive. So that shit becomes vestigial. It isn't valued, it isn't taught, so eventually it isn't sought out. At best it's mystified as part of a given writer/artist's 'talent', but either way it grows incumbent on the individual to care enough about that kind of skill to cultivate it.
And it's risky, because unmeasurables come with the possibility of rejection or failure. Drop in too many allegorical descriptions of the rose garden and someone will decide your prose is 'purple' and unserious. A lot of online audiences seem to be terrified of being considered pretentious in their tastes. That creates a real unwillingness to step out into discursive spaces where you šŸ«µ are expected to develop and explore a personal relationship with each element of a work. No guard rails, no right answers. Word of god is shit to us out here. But fear of getting that kind of analysis wrong makes people hove to work that slavishly explains itself on every page. And I'm left wondering, what's the point of art that leads every single participant to the same conclusion? See Spot run. Run, Spot, run. Down the rollforth land, yonder horizonways. I just want to read more weird stuff.
25K notes Ā· View notes
fordtato Ā· 4 months ago
Note
Alex Hirsch will imply or say through text and subtext of books about FiddAuthor and BillFord, while Dan Povenmire and Swampy Marsh will just have Perryshmirtz moments on Chibi shorts and tiktoks... and you know, sometimes I'm glad I get to live in this world. (I made this weird train of thought connection through the ending joke in Bill's interview in the book.)
SPOILERS: Look, no matter how one feels about it, Hirsch used terminology associated with romance and breakups throughout nearly every interaction between Ford and Bill. "Attracted-to," "will-they-won't-they," "were we even partners?," starting a conversation after a fight with "Can we talk?", calling Fiddleford a "third wheel," etc. - THESE ARE QUOTES.
Also, Bill uses language that is INCREDIBLY tied to abusive relationships when talking to Ford: "who else will make you feel like this?" etc.
Hell, Bill goes on a drunken bender after the breakup. Mabel calls Ford Bill's ex, and tells him to "get over" her Grunkle.
I've seen some discussion on the timeline on whether or not it's problematic to make BillFord canon and my thoughts are: this book DEPICTING an abusive pairing (or at least using language that echoes an abusive relationship), and then framing it through the lens of an unreliable abusive narrator is not the same thing as glorifying, romanticizing, or supporting the pairing. The people reading this recognize that Bill is a villain and not to be trusted, you know? It isn't even shades of grey, it's 100% depicted as the most ruinous thing in Ford's life. Hell, I think it's just very compelling writing. I love this. I think it's so interesting. Books should be able to tackle this.
And then the Fiddauthor fodder. The FIDDFODDER. He handmakes Ford two xmas presents, and makes nothing for Emma-May??? HE COMES BACK FOR FORD AFTER HIS FIGHT WITH HIS WIFE? AND THEY WERE ROOMMATES IN COLLEGE? AND FIDDS MADE 5 PROTOTYPES TO HANDKNIT FORD GLOVES??
The book also has a reference to Ford possibly being ace. Ford has nightmares about a pop quiz asking him what he's attracted to. He answers "planning and preparation." So, I have layered feelings about these tongue-in-cheek references to asexuality without just SAYING asexuality, you know? Like when it's wrapped in a joke, I think it affects how meaningful it is, but I'm not ace, so it's up to ace people to decide how they feel about this. But I do think it's interesting.
At the very least, this book adds queer undertones to the way Ford and Bill interact. Book of Bill gave more queer undertones in the TEXT, not just subtext, to how Ford interacts with others, and while that experience is translated through an abusive relationship, it's still there.
Y'all, this man is queer. I can't believe I'm not seeing everyone talking about this. Ford is queer. I don't know how to define his relationship with Bill Cipher, but it isn't straight.
1K notes Ā· View notes
always-just-red Ā· 3 months ago
Note
I loved the Drunked Call with Sylus scenario you made! I like the way you write it and I see you accepting request hehe. Can I request about... Sylus, Zayne and Caleb reaction meeting fem!reader, dates or accidentally met (you name it) and they noticed her long hair has been attached with chewed bubblegum? some kid pulled a prank on her before and she didn't even aware of it
Aw thank you so much!! šŸ’• I did different pranks for each of the boys just to keep things interesting- I hope you don't mind! They're all equally silly haha, and I had SO much fun writing them. Added Xavier and Raf for good measure, too!
It's Just Not Your Day...
L&DS Boys (& Caleb!) x Reader
Tumblr media
Summary: It's you against the kids of Linkon City, and guess what? The kids are winning.
Genre: Humour + fluff!
Warnings/Additional tags: gn!reader, established relationship, swearing, canon pet names, reader gets a little stressed (and with some of these boys you can understand why šŸ™ƒ)
| Word count: 4k | Masterlist | Opt-in to my taglist here!
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Love and Deepspace. All work is my own, so please don't repost or plagiarise!
Tumblr media
Xavier ā­
One of the perks of being a Deepspace Hunter is the way people look at you. Youā€™re used to respect: appreciative nods and gestures, wide-eyed admiration. Youā€™re out in Linkon almost every day, putting your life on the line for everyone in the city. Youā€™re a hero, right?
So why is everyone looking at you soā€¦ funny?
ā€œXavier,ā€ you speak in a hushed whisper, tugging at the sleeve of your partnerā€™s uniform. ā€œI donā€™t like this. Something weird is going on.ā€
He yawns. ā€œWhat do you mean?ā€
Can he really not see it? Sure enough, a businessman strolls past you, his eyes locked on you as he frowns, mid-telephone call. You think he even stumbles on his words. ā€œJust look around,ā€ you whisper again. Someone is watching you from across the street, their head cocked. Ā Ā 
Xavier is already looking around. Youā€™re on patrol; thatā€™s sort of the point. But he trusts you, so he follows your instruction: casting his sky-blue eyes around a little more carefully. They narrow. ā€œSorry,ā€ he says, because youā€™re usually on the same page, ā€œwhat are you talking about exactly?ā€
You fold your arms impatiently. ā€œPeople are looking at us, Xavier.ā€
ā€œOh, Iā€¦ā€ he seems to hesitate, ā€œI think theyā€™re just looking at you.ā€
The words could be romantic, but you donā€™t get the impression theyā€™re intended to be. Heā€™s implying something. Heā€™s uncertain. ā€œWhat makes you say that?ā€ you ask, hands moving to your hips.
He shifts awkwardly on his feet. ā€œI think itā€™s your, you knowā€”ā€ his finger waggles in front of his mouth.
You donā€™t know. ā€œMy what?ā€
ā€œYour moustache.ā€
ā€œWhat?ā€
Your hand shoots to your upper lip, but you donā€™t feel anything out of the ordinary. Xavier is staring, though, so you reach for your phone and turn the camera on yourself.
A black, cartoon-villain moustache has been sketched onto your face.
You gape at your reflection. ā€œHā€” howā€¦?ā€ you stutter, tracing your new feature. Then a memory of this morning flashes through your mind: how youā€™d fallen asleep on the train to work. How there were those two schoolkids, sniggering, when youā€™d woken up just in time for your stop. Ugh. Really?
Waitā€” this morning?!
ā€œXavier!ā€ you exclaim, turning to him like youā€™d just found his sword in your back. ā€œWhy didnā€™t you say something?ā€
Itā€™s just gone three in the afternoon, and heā€™s been with you for hours. ā€œI thought you knew,ā€ he mumbles, rubbing his neck gingerly.
ā€œYou thought Iā€¦ā€ Youā€™re too bewildered, too betrayed to repeat it fully. Worst of all you feel guilty; how the hell can he look so freaking innocent? You turn back to your phone, desperately trying to rub the ink from your skin. It doesnā€™t budge. It doesnā€™t fade.
ā€œAre you ok?ā€ Xavier asks.
Of course youā€™re not ok, you feel like an idiot. Your cheeks are hot and the redness is spreading to the rest of your face as you fail to reclaim any of your dignity. ā€œNo,ā€ you spit back, ā€œhonestly, Xavier, how could you just let me walk around like Iā€™m some kind ofā€”ā€
You glance up to discover heā€™s no longer listening. Heā€™s not even here; heā€™s over there, talking to an old man whoā€™s sat completing a sudoku. Great. Wonderful. Why not? At least one of you is making a good impression on the citizens of Linkon City.
With your eyes close to watering, you have one last, futile attempt at wiping the moustache from your upper lip. Itā€™s not working. Gods, youā€™re gonna be stuck like this, arenā€™t you?
Someone taps you on the shoulder, and you look up to see Xavier, back at your side. He smiles reassuringly, sporting a drawn-on moustache of his own. The ends of it are curled even more theatrically than yours.
ā€œXavierā€¦ā€ you half-laugh in surprise, your eyes watering even more. ā€œWhy would youā€”? Now we both look stupid.ā€
ā€œI look stupid,ā€ he corrects, running a thumb over your wet cheek. ā€œYou look really pretty, moustache or not.ā€
Tumblr media
Zayne ā„
ā€œWhatā€¦ happened?ā€
You sit across from Zayne on a picturesque park bench, like something from a postcard: blue sky stretched above, wildflowers sprouting from the grass below. Birds are singing, butterflies are flittering about, and even the doctor looks perfectā€” unmarred by the first half of his work day, no matter how stressful itā€™s been.
Itā€™s a fairy tale you covet: a little reunion with the man you love, on the odd occasion where your lunchbreaks match up and he isnā€™t drowning in paperwork. And it would be a fairy tale, if it wasnā€™t for you. Youā€” your uniform soaked and your hair dripping wet. The wooden bench has gone damp beneath you; youā€™ve literally only just sat down.
ā€œGee, I donā€™t know, Zayne,ā€ you hiss, face almost buried in your phone, ā€œwhat do you think?ā€
Not too far away from you, some kids are locked in a water-gun battle, their shrieks of laughter loud and infuriating. Zayne glances between you and them, making his deductions. ā€œWhyā€”ā€ he starts.
ā€œDoesnā€™t matter,ā€ you sniff, wiping your forehead with the back of your sleeve. ā€œThey messed with the wrong person, and weā€™re gonna make sure they know it.ā€
ā€œWeā€™re going to?ā€ Ā 
ā€œYeah. Me and you. That a problem?ā€
You shoot him a glare that sends a shiver down even his spine. ā€œNo,ā€ he answers quicklyā€” a survival instinct, uncharacteristically submissiveā€” but his composure returns as you turn back to your phone. ā€œHavenā€™t you gotā€”ā€
Another dark look.
ā€œHavenā€™t we got better things to do than start a war with some children in the park?ā€
ā€œNot really. Justice is justice.ā€ You shrug before pointing a finger at yourself. ā€œDeepspace hunter.ā€ Then at him. ā€œCardiac surgeon. Precision is kind of our thing, right? They really donā€™t stand a chance.ā€ Youā€™re laughing, now: ļæ½ļæ½Gods, I almost feel sorry for them.ā€
Zayne has been watching your descent into madness with a calmness that does him credit. When he interrupts, itā€™s gentle. ā€œI donā€™t thinkā€”ā€
Too gentle; you donā€™t hear him. ā€œPick your poison, Dr. Zayne!ā€ Your phone is angled at him to reveal the all-too accessible armoury of an online store. ā€œYouā€™ve got your standard water pistols. Your water blasters.ā€ Youā€™re scrolling and indicating his choices as though youā€™re the salesman. ā€œThis one has two options, single shot or power shot, andā€” ooh! Look at this one! The AquaJet3000!ā€
With a soft laugh, Zayne pushes your phone out of his face. He would buy anything youā€™re selling, althoughā€” having seen the prices on your screenā€” he knows heā€™d be bankrupt within a week. ā€œLinkon City is fortunate to have you defending it, and whilst I would be honoured, as always, to fight at your side, I was hoping we couldā€¦ relax. Youā€™re on a break, remember?ā€
You pout as he peels a wet strand of hair from your cheek. ā€œJustice doesnā€™t take breaks.ā€
ā€œWell, justice is going to have to on this occasion, because I said so.ā€
ā€œReally?ā€
ā€œYes,ā€ he chuckles. ā€œBesides, you shouldnā€™t fight fire with fire, or water with water. A lot of people look up to you, you know. Me included. So, set a better example. Save violence for the Wanderers.ā€ Ā 
It ought to be patronising: him, lecturing you on right and wrong when youā€™ve already added three types of water-gun to your virtual cart. Heā€™s always so righteous. So collected. So moral. You want to be mad at him, but how can you be when heā€™s looking at you like that? Like he thinks the world of you, even when youā€™re plotting revenge against ten-year-olds.
You have a point to make, so you fold your arms and turn your back on him, even though heā€™s making your heart feel so frustratingly warm and fuzzy.
ā€œI have something for you,ā€ he says quietly.
To hell with the point. ā€œWhat is it?ā€ you ask, spinning eagerly around.
He smiles as he retrieves something heā€™d concealed behind him. Itā€™s a small-ish box, pale pink, with patterns printed to emulate white lace. Thereā€™s a logo in the centre and you recognise it at once. ā€œNo way,ā€ you enthuse, ā€œthat new bakery finally opened?ā€
Youā€™ve both been waiting for months. ā€œI couldnā€™t resist when I saw it,ā€ he confirms, lifting the lid. Inside sit two unbelievably pretty cupcakes, buttercream icing spiralled high and adorned with sprinkles of gold leaf. Zayne plucks one from the box. ā€œPerhapsā€”ā€ he offers it to youā€” ā€œperhaps this can make you feel better? Without us needing to, wellā€¦ attack children.ā€
You giggle; it does sound pretty stupid when he puts it like that. ā€œThanks, Zayne,ā€ you grin, reaching out for your reward. Youā€™re glad one of you is vaguely sensibleā€” those water-guns were expensive.
The cake is an inch from your fingers when a jet of water sends it flying from Zayneā€™s hand. It lands at your feet with an unceremonious splat, and from somewhere behind you, laughter roars.
The doctor blinks down at it in disbelief, his hand still hovering beside yours. He grieves for a long moment, then looks to you solemnly like youā€™re a colleague and heā€™s about to ask for a scalpel:
ā€œThe AquaJet3000,ā€ he says. Ā 
Tumblr media
Rafayel šŸŽØ
ā€œRafayel, call me stupid one more time, and Iā€™llā€”ā€
Youā€™llā€¦ youā€™llā€¦ what? Heā€™s looking back at you with wide eyes, his hands frozen when they had just a moment ago been drying the plate youā€™d handed him. He has some nerve, pretending heā€™s the victim when heā€™s spent the entire evening insulting you. This is supposed to be a wholesome moment of domesticityā€” doing the dishes together before he has to disappear to a late-night galaā€” so why is he ruining it? Ever since you got home, itā€™s been: so how was your day, stupid? Hey, stupid, want a hand washing up?
He said he was fine with you sitting out the gala tonight, but maybe heā€™s not.
ā€œIā€™ll do this,ā€ you finish, lifting a palmful of suds from the sink and raising them to your lips, ready to blow.
ā€œPuh-lease, you bought me this suit. You really think I canā€™t tell when youā€™re bluffā€” hey, wait! Stop!ā€
You do blow the bubbles at him, and he recoils, holding the plate and dishcloth up to defend himself. He blocks some of them, but not all of them. ā€œHonestly, Raf, if youā€™re not ok with me skipping out on tonight then you can just say so.ā€ Ā 
He puts the plate gently aside. ā€œI mean, of course Iā€™m sad youā€™re not coming,ā€ he thinks aloud as he sets about sweeping bubbles from his suit, ā€œbut Iā€™m ok with it, really. Youā€™ve had, like, a crazy week at work. You deserve a quiet night in.ā€
Compassion? Really? After you justā€”? Ugh. ā€œSo why were you being so mean, then?ā€ you sigh, taking the cloth from him and dabbing away the bubbles heā€™s missed.
ā€œMean?ā€
ā€œYouā€™ve called me ā€˜stupidā€™ like fifty times in the span of, whatā€” three hours?ā€
ā€œYeah,ā€ he shrugs innocently. ā€œBecause you told me to.ā€
Huh? You stop what youā€™re doing. ā€œSince when did Iļæ½ļæ½ā€
He reaches over your shoulder and you feel fingers on your back. ā€œSee?ā€ he answers, bringing a piece of paper in front of you. It looks like itā€™s been torn hastily from a notebook, and it says, in bold, capital letters: ā€˜CALL ME STUPID!!ā€™
You take the note from Rafayel sheepishly, your lips parted in surprise. How did itā€”? Wait. ā€œThose kids!ā€ you exclaim, thinking back on your walk home from work. ā€œOh I knew they were spouting bullshit when they said they saw a Wanderer!ā€
Your dish-washing companion doesnā€™t seem impressed by your lightbulb moment. Heā€™s watching you, confusion etched across his face, but you can see right through it. ā€œRafayel!ā€ you slap a soapy hand to his chest, ā€œyou had to call me stupid that many times before telling me?ā€
ā€œI thought you wrote it. Pet names can be weird sometimesā€” I donā€™t know what youā€™re into.ā€
Heā€™s still acting. Still lying. Fine, two can play at that game. Ā 
You fall deathly silent, turning back to the sink to retrieve the bowl youā€™d dropped in there the last time heā€™d called you your new ā€˜pet nameā€™. ā€œI guess it suits me,ā€ you mumble, half to yourself.
ā€œWhat dā€™you mean, cutie?ā€
He can call you cutie as many times as he wants; youā€™re out for blood. You give the bowl another once-over with a sponge. ā€œSome hunter I am. Canā€™t even tell when some kids are messing with me.ā€
Rafayel frowns. ā€œHey, itā€™s been a long week, yeah? Youā€™re just tired.ā€
ā€œTired,ā€ you echo, and you drop the bowl back into the water with a dramatic plop. ā€œTired? No. Iā€™m exhausted. No matter what I do, no matter how hard I work, thereā€™s alwaysā€¦ something. To make me feel like an idiot. To make me feelā€¦ stupid.ā€
ā€œHey,ā€ Rafayel tries again, and his voice is fraught with worry. ā€œDonā€™t say stuff like that. Youā€™re not stupid. Iā€™m stupid. Iā€™m supposed to make you feel better and instead I was just screwing around. Iā€™m sorry, ok? Donā€™t be sad. Please?ā€
He wraps his arms around you and pulls you close, resting his chin on the top of your head. You donā€™t give in, not at first, but then you hug him back. ā€œThanks, Raf. Iā€™m okā€” really.ā€ You hear his phone buzz from where heā€™s left it on the counter. ā€œYou should go. Thomas will kill you if youā€™re late.ā€
ā€œNah, he needs me,ā€ the artist chuckles. ā€œYou get first dibs, though. You sure you donā€™t want me to stay?ā€
ā€œYeah,ā€ you laugh quietly back; your heart not quite in it. ā€œQuiet night in, remember? Go on. Go.ā€
He steps away from you, though not before planting a light kiss on your cheek. ā€œIā€™ll make it up to you when I get home,ā€ he says, collecting his phone and the rest of his things. He gives you another kiss when heā€™s done, dodging your efforts to shoo him away. ā€œMiss you already, cutie.ā€
ā€œGo!ā€
And he does as heā€™s told this time, no matter how listlessly. Itā€™s sweet he wants to stay and make things better, but he already hasā€” he just doesnā€™t know it yet. It wasnā€™t the hug. It wasnā€™t the apology. You lean back against the counter with a smirk, savouring the view as he leaves.
It might have something to do with the note youā€™ve stuck on his back.
ā€¦
Rafayel retrieves the note the moment he closes the door behind him, stuffing it smugly into his pocket. Heā€™ll have a story ready for you, by the time he gets home, about just how much you humiliated him. About how he walked around for a good hour before Thomas spotted the note and gave him a lecture about his ā€˜imageā€™.
He smiles to himself; heā€™s a really good boyfriend.
Tumblr media
Sylus šŸ©ø
ā€œYou should know better than to keep me waiting, sweetie.ā€
Oh, great. This is just what you need.
You peek over the saddle of your motorcycle from where youā€™re crouched behind it. ā€œHey, Sylus,ā€ you greet. The man is watching you, his arms folded. ā€œYeah, sorry.ā€
ā€œSorry?ā€ he repeats, an eyebrow raised sceptically. ā€œWhatā€” no ā€˜patience is a virtue, Sylus,ā€™ no ā€˜oh please, Sylus, we both know youā€™ve nothing better to do?ā€™ā€
You had disappeared behind your bike again, but you steal another glance at him. ā€œWow,ā€ you marvel, ā€œis this what you did before we met? Have arguments with yourself?ā€
ā€œMore or less,ā€ he smiles dryly, then shrugs: ā€œIā€™m not bad, as far as sparring partners go. You of all people can vouch for that. Besides, what were my other options? Mephisto?ā€ He laughs. ā€œLuke and Kieran?ā€ He laughs harder.
ā€œIā€™d rate Mephisto above you,ā€ you add distractedly, no longer looking at him.
ā€œIs that right?ā€ he purrs, and itā€™s very obvious he doesnā€™t believe you.
He sounds closeā€” too closeā€” so you stand, re-entering his eyeline so he doesnā€™t come closer. Gods, this is embarrassing. Those stupid kids; heā€™s gonna have a field day if he finds out. ā€œYeah.ā€ You wipe your hands slowly with a cloth, disguising the fact that your mind is scrambling. ā€œThe things that bird comes up with, justā€¦ scathing, honestly. Emotionally devastating.ā€
ā€œOh really?ā€ Sylus tuts. ā€œThatā€™s awful. I canā€™t imagine where he gets it from.ā€
You smile back at him, resting your hands on your hips. You do feel bad, actually; youā€™d completely forgotten you were supposed to meet him this morning for breakfast before work. Heā€™d received no texts to cancel. No calls. How long was he waiting at that sweet little cafĆ© youā€™d picked out?
Then again, this morning isnā€™t really going to your plan, either.
ā€œSomething wrong with your bike?ā€ he asks, because heā€™s already figured out that much. ā€œBesides the usual, I mean.ā€
Your smile drops. Your whole act drops. ā€œItā€™s nothing, Sylus.ā€
ā€œYouā€™ve already stood me up this morning, sweetie. Are you really going to lie to me, too?ā€
You let out an exasperated sigh. Fine. ā€œSome kids graffitied it, ok?ā€
ā€œThis piece of junk? Really?ā€ He toes the front wheel of it, then catches onto the withering look youā€™re sending him. ā€œOh no,ā€ he tries again, with absolutely no enthusiasm, ā€œwhat a dreadful crime against such an advanced, state-of-the-art vehicle.ā€
Prick. You keep the label behind tight lips as he wanders around the motorcycle to join you, assessing the damage. Youā€™re stood by a bucket of water and the litany of rags youā€™ve used to try to scrub it cleanā€” each one a testament to your failure. The sight alone makes you want to burst into tears. The skin of your hands is pink. Raw.
You feel cheated; you wish you were at that cafƩ right now.
Sylus taps a finger against his cheek, eyes narrowed pensively. Theyā€™re spoiled for choice of what to look at: misspelt obscenities, a generous number of crude symbols. All in permanent marker, naturally. ā€œAn improvement, wouldnā€™t you say?ā€
ā€œI wouldnā€™t say. No.ā€
ā€œArt is subjective.ā€
ā€œYeah? So is your face.ā€ Not your best effort. Sylus glances up at you, amused. ā€œShut up,ā€ you dismiss proactively. ā€œBesides, this is my work vehicle. I canā€™t ride around Linkon on this. It would beā€”ā€
ā€œToo staggering a blow to your professional reputation,ā€ he finishes like heā€™s bored.
ā€œThis isnā€™t funny, Sylus.ā€
He points at a particularly chaotic drawing of a penis. ā€œIt is.ā€
You smack his hand away. ā€œItā€™s not.ā€ Your voice wobbles, ever so slightly betraying you. This is serious; you could get in trouble. You stare down at the graffiti, despair setting in.
Keys dangle in front of your eyes. ā€œHere. Borrow my bike.ā€
ā€œYouā€™re joking, right?ā€ You swat at them. ā€œYou really think thatā€™s gonna help? Meā€” rolling up to work on a bike that costs twice my annual salary?ā€
ā€œTwice? Thatā€™s cute, kitten.ā€
You glare at him, any guilt you felt about standing him up long gone. ā€œCan you just stop? Being you? For like, two seconds? Please? This is the last thing I need today, Sylus. Iā€™m gonna be late. Iā€™m gonna embarrass myself in front of everyone. And worst of all? I was actually looking forward to seeing you this morning. Before all of thisā€”ā€ you gesture dejectedly at your bikeā€” ā€œall of this shit happened.ā€
Sylus is looking back at you, his arms crossed again. He does nothing for a few, slow seconds, and itā€™s just long enough to make you feel like youā€™re overreacting. Then he leans over, running a hand across your bike, and you watch as the graffiti flakes and lifts, turning to ash under the influence of his Evol.
He brushes his hands together when heā€™s done, straightening with a hmph and a self-satisfied smirk. Content (more than contentā€” thoroughly impressed with himself) he turns back to you. Your bottom lip has dropped in surprise and he chuckles, reaching a finger to lift your chin. ā€œYou can thank me later, sweetie, and I intend to spend the entire day thinking about how you might. Donā€™t disappoint me, hmm?ā€ Ā 
Youā€™re still silent, and it takes him a moment to realise youā€™re bristling with something other than awe and adoration. He frowns. ā€œSweetie?ā€
The second ā€˜sweetieā€™ breaks you, and not in the way he wants. You slap his chest, hard; he doesnā€™t really feel it.
ā€œSylus! You could have done that the whole time?!ā€
Tumblr media
Caleb šŸŽ
ā€œSit still, dear.ā€
Sit still? How are you supposed to sit still when youā€™re brimming with rage? Every inch of your body is tense, waiting, yearning for you to spring into action. It wants you to retaliate. It wants revenge.
ā€œI canā€™t, Grandma,ā€ you whine, crossing your arms as if to hold yourself back. Youā€™re still fidgeting on the chair as she navigates your hair with her scissors. ā€œThis sucks. Everything sucks. The only thing that could make this worse is ifā€”ā€
You hear the front door swing open, then closed. Why couldnā€™t you keep your mouth shut?
Sure enough, Caleb strolls into the kitchen mere moments later. ā€œWhatā€™s happeninā€™ here?ā€ he asks, dropping a bag of groceries onto the countertop.
ā€œNothing,ā€ you mumble. ā€œGrandmaā€™s giving me a haircut, thatā€™s all.ā€
ā€œOk. So whatā€™s actually happening here?ā€ he tries again. Heā€™s known you forever, after all; he can tell when youā€™re lying.
You swing a foot out at his shin as he tries to step closer. Nuh-uh. No investigating. No sticking his nose where it doesnā€™t belong. ā€œNothing,ā€ you hiss again. ā€œGods, Caleb. Whatā€™s your problem?ā€
ā€œYouā€™re my problem, pipsqueak.ā€ He uses his foot to push yours away. ā€œAt least Granā€™s on my sideā€”ā€ his amethyst eyes seek herā€” ā€œcan you tell me whatā€™s going on? Please? Pretty please?ā€
A hand breaks their eye contact. ā€œYou donā€™t have to answer that, Grandma.ā€ You glare Caleb down. ā€œThe DAA has no authority here.ā€
ā€œIt does.ā€
ā€œIt doesnā€™t.ā€
ā€œIt does.ā€
ā€œIt doesnā€™t.ā€
Grandma sighs; sheā€™s had far too many years of this. ā€œYou know Mr and Mrs. Leeā€™s children? Down the road? Well, theyā€”ā€
ā€œGrandma!ā€ You round on her. How long did she lastā€” all of three seconds? You bitterly regard Caleb, your voice dark with resentment: ā€œThey put gum in my hair, ok?ā€
ā€œReally?ā€
ā€œYeah." He wanted the truth, didnā€™t he? ā€œThey lured me in with some nonsense about a Wanderer. I didnā€™t realise until, well, untilā€¦ā€ You wave at your hair. ā€œToo late.ā€
He considers the story, then shrugs. Itā€™s clearly not as thrilling as he was anticipating, because he disappears from the kitchen, leaving you and Grandma in peace once more. The silence is as uncomfortable as it is sudden. Youā€™d expected laughterā€” a lot of laughter. Teasing. Maybe even a shot at how gullible you are.
You release an uneasy breath, resting your head back on the chair.
ā€œSit still,ā€ Grandma repeats, nudging you, prompting you to sit up straight. ā€œIā€™ve almost got it. Just one moreā€¦ here!ā€ Thereā€™s a decisive snip.
ā€œThanks, Grandma.ā€ You slump again, staring up at the ceiling.
Youā€™re not sure what youā€™re waiting for. Maybe for the blush of your cheeks to cool, or for a Wanderer to spring out of the floor, killing you, so you can be dead and not so embarrassed. You hear heavy footstepsā€” Caleb returningā€” and you really wish the Wanderer would hurry up.
ā€œCalebā€¦ā€ Grandmaā€™s tone is wary. ā€œWhat are you doing?ā€
ā€œWhat does it look like?ā€ Ā 
You readjust your head so you can look at him. Heā€™s clutching what must be a dozen rolls of toilet paper; theyā€™re piled up to just below his chin, almost spilling out over his arms. ā€œHow about it, pipsqueak?ā€ he asks as he struggles to balance them. ā€œA little team-up between the DAA and The Associationā€” wanna do your part in reclaiming your neighbourhood?ā€
Now thatā€™s more like it. ā€œFuck yes! Sorry, Grandma.ā€
Youā€™re really as bad as each-other. She tuts reproachfully as you leap out of your chair, and she's disappointed, but not surprised.
361 notes Ā· View notes
Note
In response to the Mile High Job post, I hate that Parker implies that poor flight attendant slept her way to a promotion/better shift. Her day is super weird but her cat is fine and her life is saved. That rumor, however, might stick and that didn't really feel like Leverage to me.
Agreed!
The thing with Leverage is that it's a show from the late 2000s; it feels contemporary, but actually it is a bit dated. And, like all shows, it had some problematic elements, which get a bit more Obviously Problematic as time goes by (I am just waiting for someone to write a lengthy call-out post in 5 years' time and for the Discourse to start.) For example, Tumblr loves to declare that Leverage has a "canon" throuple, but if anyone read that and then watched the show they would be profoundly disappointed - while it's a fantastic ship with a great many shippy instances, Elliot has a lot of onscreen No Homo moments, and frequently is shown sleeping with random women (I personally read him as aromantic). Similarly, there are two big relationships in that show: Nate/Sophie, and Parker/Hardison. And we all wax lyrical about the brilliance of Parker/Hardison and how healthy it is, and for good reason; but we gloss over how unbearably "I hate my wife/father I cannot click the book" Boomer humour Nate/Sophie is.
(He literally calls her a shrew in one episode. She throws a tantrum and sulks if he doesn't remember the exact details of how/where they met. She's stereotypically 'romantic' and he's stereotypically 'cynical' and she has to Save Him From Himself, and he self-deprecatingly says he should just know when to stop arguing because she's always right. Like... it is a grubby and uncomfortable dynamic; but, it's also aimed at a different segment of the audience that is older than me, and that's okay, actually. It just means I don't much care for the ship myself.)
Anyway, this is one other such instance. Clearly someone in the writers' room thought that was a funny joke, and not enough people disagreed, and so in it went. What's nice is that Sandi McCree, who plays the other flight attendant that stays on the plane, actually kind of saves that joke for me with her performance. When Parker first boards and declares that her co-worker is not coming in, McCree looks disgruntled at the sudden change to her staff list when she wasn't informed; she's annoyed at management. Then Parker makes the sleeping-with-pilots comment, and McCree looks disgusted and furious -
An expression she then pulls at Parker every time she sees her for the rest of the episode, even when Parker is technically not doing anything particularly weird. It's not necessarily intentional on McCree's part (Parker IS very weird in this episode, so it very much can be a response to that), but to me it means you can read it as "This woman is absolutely furious at the lateral sexism of this white girl because We Love And Support Each Other On This Plane." So, for me, between that and the aforementioned revelations of the day (the plane was brought down by the domestic terrorists of a Fortune 500 company, but saved by... a few unexplained Official People who snuck aboard??? And the other flight attendant was made to miss the plane after all under mysterious circumstances and was not promoted??? What???), I don't think Sandi McCree's character wouldn't put those pieces together.
353 notes Ā· View notes
yuff7e Ā· 5 months ago
Note
Hii! I have two ideas I donā€™t mind if only one is written: Could you write head-canons or like anything about Inosuke with a s/o whose love language is physical touch? Or could you write head-canons about Inosuke with an artist gf who maybee has a whole book with drawings of him šŸ¤­šŸ¤­? Whatever is easiest tysm!!
Tumblr media
ā‹†Ė™ inosuke with an artist s/o who loves physical touch !! āŸ”ā™” headcanons / fluff
gender neutral
omg hi anon !! and yes ofc i can :)) im making this whole thing gender neutral but i can do a separate fic of inosuke with an artist gf and he find out sheā€™s been drawing him since the very start and how he reacts if youā€™d like ?? anywho, enjoy !! <3
the cuties song -> www.spotify.com
- inosuke and you have a pretty stable relationship tbh
- considering the fact heā€™s a feral boar man
- since you two have been together, you havenā€™t noticed inosuke having any hobbies
- like at all besides screaming and challenging people (and sleepingā€¦) (ā€¦aaannndddd eating)
- but hey! thatā€™s fine! you have yours and inosuke hasā€¦ his
- now anywho, you were waking up bright and early for another day of training
- when suddenly you didnā€™t feel the crushing weight of inosuke on youā€¦
- (he always sleeps on you and waits until you wake up! but today he wasnā€™tā€¦ oh god.)
- ā€œinosuke? inosuke!ā€
- he had been rummaging around in your things while you were asleep !!!
- you rush over to him and jump on top of him to hide what he mightā€™ve saw
- he lets you take him down and looks at you
- heā€™s doing that weird gawking giddy thing he does whenever heā€™s happy
- you just stare back at him
- ā€œwhat?ā€
- ā€œWHAT IS THIS BOOK?!ā€
- he holds up a sketchbook, filled to the brim with drawings of him
- you FREAK OUT
- ā€œinosuke!! this is private stuff!!ā€
- ā€œso?ā€
- mans does NOT know privacy
- yalls relationship is a one way street for that matter and he sticks to it.
- so he is veerrryyy adamant about seeing the rest of whatā€™s in that book
- finally, you give in and let him look at it
- heā€™s amazed by the cool illustrations and doodles youā€™ve made for him
- ā€œthese are me?!ā€
- ā€œyeahā€¦ā€
- *cue him flipping through them aggressively*
- ā€œi want this one!ā€
- ā€œinosuke you canā€™t just take them! wellā€” i mean maybe you can but i donā€™t want you to!! i spent a long time drawing theseā€”..ā€
- ā€œi donā€™t care!ā€
- ā€œokay. insoukeā€” seriously..!!ā€
- once he starts ripping some of the pages you snatch the book
- he tries to fight you but realizes youā€™re being serious so he stops but is still agitated
- he wants them!!
- now, onto physical touch
- honestly i wouldnā€™t see him having a problem with it, itā€™d probably just stroke his ego more knowing heā€™s got a pretty partner like you by his side caressing his arm while he boasts about how heā€™s the ā€œking of the mountainsā€
- a real ā€œiā€™m on top of the worldā€ moment fr
- but he did kind of freak out when you touched him for the first time
- you were walking through the butterfly mansion, on the way to see inosuke
- you two had planned a little first date type-thing
- (with the help from tanjiro and zenitsu..)
- but you were happy and couldnā€™t wait to go and see him!!
- once you got there he wasnā€™t dressed up, just in his casual attire
- no clothes..
- anyway, you walk up to him and touch his shoulder
- he turns around so fast screaming ā€œWHO THE HELL JUST TOUCHED ME?!ā€
- realized it was you and just stared
- the skin to skin contact got him feeling some typa way
- and ever since then youā€™ve just been doing the same thing you always do
- ā€œhey inosuke!ā€ you giggle as you hug him and he just freezes
- if heā€™s in the middle of a screaming fit and you go over and wrap your arms around him heā€™ll stop IMMEDIATELY
- ā€œerā€”!! hey!ā€
ā€”
Ā·Ėš ą¼˜ youā€™re outside training when you hear screaming coming from the inside of the butterfly mansion, and you werenā€™t too surprised that when you walked in your boyfriend was being quite the sore loser.
kanao had just beat him in one of the training games, and he wasnā€™t too happy about it. ā€œshe was cheating! sheā€™s cheating! letā€™s do a rematch!! this time iā€™ll beat you!ā€ weā€™re all the words you heard from him as he stomped his feet aggressively.
you sigh and look at kanao whoā€™s just staring blankly at inosuke, ā€œi guess we could have a rematch..ā€ she squeaks, inosuke jumping right for her - and of course he loses, again.
heā€™s defeated, running back over to the side lines and throwing his whole body into the wall - banging his boar mask against it and throwing a few punches. you trot over to him, your arms extending until you fully fall into his side.
he stops what heā€™s doing and immediately goes to push you off, not realizing itā€™s you. until he notices your voice, ā€œinosuke! stop screaming! youā€™ll have another rematch soon.ā€
he immediately grabs your arms to throw you off (which he couldā€™ve easily done since you didnā€™t have your guard up) but he just complained while you were practically on top of him. saying things like - ā€œhey! get your hands off of me! i have another match to win!ā€ or ā€œwhatā€™s the deal?! canā€™t you see iā€™m busy?!ā€
of course since he hasnā€™t pushed you off yet you know this is calming him down, and eventually it does. his anger subsides but only for a little bit, the match eventually redos and kanao gets a few good hits in until he wins.
instantly, heā€™s rushing over to you and tackling you to the ground!! ā€œi did it! ya see that? i knew i could win!ā€ heā€™s yowling and jumping around and you just smile at him fondly. ā€œcongrats inosuke! but i have to go back outside and finish my trainingā€”..ā€
before you could finish inosuke picks you up and twirls you around before setting you back down, patting your head. ā€œalright! donā€™t be long. i want you to see me beat the rest of these people!ā€ a blush creeps onto your cheeks as you giggle, a little out of breath.
ā€œheh.. alright! iā€™ll be back.ā€ you kiss his shoulder quickly before jogging away - causing him to freeze and someone catching him off guard and winning another matchā€¦
you didnā€™t hear the end of it later that night!! but it was all okay when you woke up for another day and inosuke was laying on you per usual, not rummaging through your things this time.
ā€”
YAYA I FINISHED !! itā€™s not as serious as i honestly hoped for but im actually super proud of this i think this is really cute !! hope u enjoy <3
REQUESTS : OPEN
285 notes Ā· View notes
error-dream-was-found Ā· 18 days ago
Note
I just saw your idea about Quackity sucking at torture and I am SO intrigued šŸ‘€ Please do tell
(Also I absolutely love love love your writing <3)
Hiii, thank you for asking :)
And I'm happy to hear that you enjoy my writing <3
It's been a while since I came up with that idea and I can't seem to find my notes on it (I found like 15 other half forgotten AUs instead oops) but I'm pretty sure it came from some discussion with Flora.
The basic idea is that everything happens just as it does in canon and Quackity goes to torture Dream. This is where things get sketchy because as I said, this is a 100 % crack idea so ... what if Quackity just somehow managed to fuck up every single torture attempt?
I really wish I could find my notes on this because I know I had some specific ideas written down but let's go with what I remember. During the first visit I think he might've just underestimated Dream who in spite of being in the prison for a while now was still able to dodge Quackity and maybe even disarm him or something just it ends up with Sam having to interfere.
But it's okay! Quackity's got it! It was just a ... a minor inconvenience, nothing more. But ... things are just not working out during his second visit either, nor during the third one or the fourth one.
Dream is totally not giving fuck about what Quackity wants and for the sake of crack Quackity just miserably fails in all his attempts to torture Dream in the most ridiculous ways possible.
Like, he will get his axe stuck in the obsidian and can't pull it out, he drops a harming potion and hits himself instead of Dream, he sets himself on fire on accident (that lava wall had no business being over there!), he fails to realize that Dream is actually good in strategic games and his plan to hurt Dream for losing a game fails when the game drags on for way too long (bonus points if he loses somehow). Just some very weird (and hopefully somewhat funny) stuff happens.
Some time he doesn't even get to try his hand at torture because he gets carried away with wedding preparation and all (just imagine him forcing Dream help with choosing the decorations or something lol)
After his fight with Karl Dream is forced to be the therapist (he has no escape while Quackity cries about the state of his relationship), least to say Dream is very confused why Quackity thought he is the right person to ask about the relationship problems (srsly Q have you seen the state of his relationships???)
At this point Dream himself might try to give him tips, look he is not a fan of getting tortured but this is just sad, okay?
Perhaps he will manage to actually hurt Dream at some point but by then I think he would be too used to failing that it actually freaks him out more than it freaks out Dream himself. The rest of the "session" was spend fretting over Dream because god man you're bleeding! Dream is just there like ... isn't this what you wanted? And well yeah but also no! (Q has some very mixed feelings)
Overall though I think Q would maim himself in that cell more than he ever did to Dream. On accident of course. I never figured out the logistics of this one but it'd be hella funny if Q somehow managed to idk cut of his own finger or something of the sort which would just end up with him freaking out and Dream having to try to calm him down while also calling for Sam to bring a healing potion
I know that it's supper cannon inaccurate but it's really just a crack idea without any real plot behind it šŸ˜…
154 notes Ā· View notes
ifyouknowmenahyoudontt Ā· 4 months ago
Text
ranting about the fandom ( TW: opinions)
- remus is so badly mischaracterized, the shift from him being a soft sensitive kid despite the violent nature of his condition was so so important but now he is turned into this mean angry alpha male. i feel like the point of him being so sensitive was to contrast w him being a werewolf ya know. bring back weird and awkward remus
- gay ships that are just there because theyā€™re gay is pretty strange. iā€™m speaking of the whole jegulus/pandalily/whatever new thing ppl come up with i donā€™t really understand the point of just thinking that making a couple gay makes them more interesting. seems a little counterproductive .
-jily loosing its popularity is killing me. bring back my 7 year slow burn prophecy beautiful love story they are the most important ship
-sirius being a feminine dramatic gay twink. this man was a motorcycle owning rebel strong guy. and believe it or not he CAN be gay and still be that. him being gay ( in our head canons) doesnā€™t mean heā€™s a woman
- turning gay ships into basically a straight relationship by making them so stereotypical ( wolfstar w feminine af sirius and strong man remus)
- shipping character that died and fought against a certain ideology and people that were actively apart of the problem is kinda crazy. like jegulily? my brother in christ regulus wanted her dead.
-fanon regulus. he was a strong willed DEATH EATER he wasnā€™t forced into it or abused by his family. it.is.stated.in.the.book.
-deatheaters are interesting characters BUT donā€™t tell me people are babying and glorifying them in a effort to explore their complexity.
-some of you are blinded by the fancasts and forgot all about what the characters are.
- the new fan casts are meeeh. theyā€™re not all supposed to be supermodelsā€¦
- jegulus taking over the fandom is insane.
-andromeda should be getting the regulus treatement she is what you made regulus into.
-frank and alice should be more loved.
- the romantization of that whole pureblood supremacist squad is NOT cute.
-james potter my beloved.
- i donā€™t really like the idea of the casanova being remus. i feel like it would james or sirius based on how remus talked about his high school years
- jily is way too important to the universe to be discredited.
-lily evans being put behind regulus is CRAZY. my girl did not die for this bs
-sirius being criticized for leaving is wild. regulus was not abused and didnā€™t even want to leave. sirius was mistreated.
- i kind of like the idea of the developed character of walburga. sirius said she wasnā€™t a deatheater. and i like people writing her as a more complex character.
- as much as i love wolfstar, james and siriusā€™s relationship stays the central point of the gang.
-ships have taken way too much importance over the friendships of the group.
-i feel like a people make female characters into lesbians ( like lily ) just because they are strong characters and itā€™s weird.
- yes once she got married to james she was lily POTTER and she was a mother just like james was FATHER theyā€™re is nothing wrong with that.
- jegulus/ any ship between a member of the order and a deatheater is just plain stupid sorry but if your head canons goes completely against the core of a character itā€™s just a wrong statement.
before you start ā€œLEt pEoPle dO whAT thEy WaNtā€ these are MY opinions
please share yours i love to debate
238 notes Ā· View notes
h0neysp1ce Ā· 3 months ago
Note
Hii
Sorry if this is weird but please can I request some headcanons with Kaveh, Alhaitham and Diluc (Also if you don't write Diluc, Tighnari is good instead) where the Reader has extremely painful period cramps, like to the point where they need to vomit and can't move šŸ™
Not at all! here you go šŸ’ššŸ«¶
Ėšą­Øą­§ā‹†ļ½”ĖšĀ  Summary: ā†‘ How does he take care of his s/o when they have very bad cramps?
Characters: Kaveh, Alhaitham, Diluc, Tighnari Tags: Established Relationship (all Separate) Fluff?? Constellation: Head canons Warning(s): Mentions of Period symptoms, nothing graphic reader can be read as gender neutral or Female (Had no clue which one to put so I put both) Ėšą­Øą­§ā‹†ļ½”ĖšĀ 
A/N: I tried my best, apologies if Diluc's and Tighnari's Parts are shorter, and hopefully I went into enough detail as you asked , also I hope I titled it in the most un akward way possible, This was my first time writing something like this so I hope its not to bad ^^"
sorta Proof read (will edit later)
Word Count: 1243
ļ½”ļ¾Ÿā€¢ā”ˆź’°įƒ ā™” ą»’ź’±ā”ˆā€¢ ļ¾Ÿ ļ½”ļ¾Ÿā€¢ā”ˆź’°įƒ ā™” ą»’ź’±ā”ˆā€¢ ļ¾Ÿ ļ½”ļ¾Ÿā€¢ā”ˆź’°įƒ ā™” ą»’ź’±ā”ˆā€¢ ļ¾Ÿ ļ½”ļ¾Ÿā€¢ā”ˆļ½”ļ¾Ÿā€¢ā”ˆź’°įƒ
KĪ±Ź‹Ņ½Ō‹ šŸŽØ
This man is worried about you the moment you start not feeling great.
There's no need to feel embarrassed or ashamed; he understands that this is something you go through.
Itā€™s nothing new, really. You've been open with him about your cramps being bad, and he understands that.
The first time this happened, it freaked him out because he thought something was wrong with you until you told him what it was, and he calmed down.
Kaveh:Ā "Alright, I'm back with the heating pad and snacks."
You:Ā "Kaveh, arenā€™t you supposed to be out working with a client today?"
Kaveh:Ā "Oh no, I canceled all my work for today. Iā€™m not leaving you alone and unattended."
You:Ā "KAVEH!!? No, donā€™t worry about me. You should worry about your work. I know it's stressful andā€”"
Kaveh:Ā "No, you're more important right now. Please, let me take care of you."
If you end up getting sick, like feeling like youā€™re about to vomit at any moment, heā€™ll be there with you, holding your hair back if you're actively getting sick, rubbing circles into your back, and staying with you in the bathroom until you feel better and can get back to bed.
Knowing that you canā€™t move much in this state, he'll take it upon himself to get you things. Want food? Heā€™ll make you some. Want cuddles? Heā€™ll gladly cuddle you.
Heā€™ll have medicine ready for you along with a glass of water and a heating pad.
This man pampers you 100%.
It pains him to see you hurting and not feeling your best. You wonā€™t see it, but he tends to have a frown on his face when you're hurting. Heā€™s doing everything he can, but he canā€™t take your pain away completely, and it makes him sad.
Heā€™d take away the pain and discomfort from you if he could.
Most of the time is spent cuddling. It doesnā€™t matter to him; whatever makes you most comfortable and relieves at least some of your pain is what matters to him.
Heā€™ll kiss your face all over, along with some hand kisses, giving positive affirmations that youā€™re going to get through it, that itā€™s going to be okay, that youā€™re very strong, and that itā€™s only temporary.
His voice goes soft when talking to you, running a hand gently through your hair. Heā€™ll be looking at you often, always asking if you're alright or if you need anything.
ļ½”ļ¾Ÿā€¢ā”ˆź’°įƒ ā™” ą»’ź’±ā”ˆā€¢ ļ¾Ÿ ļ½”ļ¾Ÿā€¢ā”ˆź’°įƒ ā™” ą»’ź’±ā”ˆā€¢ ļ¾Ÿ ļ½”ļ¾Ÿā€¢ā”ˆź’°įƒ ā™” ą»’ź’±ā”ˆā€¢ ļ¾Ÿ ļ½”ļ¾Ÿā€¢ā”ˆļ½”ļ¾Ÿā€¢ā”ˆź’°įƒ
AŹ…Ō‹Ī±Ī¹ĘšŌ‹Ī±É± šŸ“š
Heā€™s read plenty of books to know what youā€™re going through and the best treatments for it.
He knows what it is without even having to ask you, as youā€™re wrapped around the toilet suffering.
Heā€™ll sit with you and wait until you feel slightly well enough to get back to resting.
He will be honest with you and say that he doesnā€™t mind or care; thereā€™s no shame or embarrassment. Itā€™s a normal thing you go through.
If you let him, heā€™ll use his hands to place them on your abdomen. He has warm hands, and heā€™ll keep them there if it helps relieve the pain and discomfort, even just a little bit.
Heā€™ll pull off his cape and put it on you if that helps comfort you in some way.
If youā€™re lying down, heā€™ll make sure to pull you closer. Usually, he doesnā€™t like being so close, but heā€™s doing this for you because he cares.
You:Ā "Alhaitham, am I burdening you?"
Alhaitham:Ā "I've told you multiple times already that youā€™re not a burden. You just need help and assistance right now, and thereā€™s nothing wrong with that. Now go back to sleep."Ā (says this while reading a book)
Heā€™ll carry you or pick you up and take you places since moving by yourself is a no-go.
Heā€™ll be reading a book while you lay with him. In reality, heā€™s keeping an eye on you, not reading a page of that book, just pretending.
This man would take the pain away from you in a heartbeat if he could.
Heā€™ll be with you the entire time through this tough period.
Heā€™ll make sure you take your medicine every few hours as directed.
In a modern AU, heā€™d likely turn on a movie or something for you, and you two would stay in bed mostly. Heā€™ll also get you anything you need, donā€™t worry.
Heā€™s still able to do his job remotely from home as the Akademiya's Grand Scribe. What, did you think this man was going to work while you werenā€™t feeling your best? Nope! Heā€™s going to take care of you because thatā€™s what partners do.
Even if he shows little affection normally, heā€™ll make sure to give you some during this time.
ļ½”ļ¾Ÿā€¢ā”ˆź’°įƒ ā™” ą»’ź’±ā”ˆā€¢ ļ¾Ÿ ļ½”ļ¾Ÿā€¢ā”ˆź’°įƒ ā™” ą»’ź’±ā”ˆā€¢ ļ¾Ÿ ļ½”ļ¾Ÿā€¢ā”ˆź’°įƒ ā™” ą»’ź’±ā”ˆā€¢ ļ¾Ÿ ļ½”ļ¾Ÿā€¢ā”ˆļ½”ļ¾Ÿā€¢ā”ˆź’°įƒ
DĪ¹Ź…Ļ…Ęˆ šŸ·
Heā€™s more than aware when he wakes up and finds you not up, as youā€™re usually up before him.
Heā€™ll ask you, and when you confirm his suspicions, heā€™ll grab some things (food, whatever you want if you just ask him).
Heā€™ll also make a quick trip to the Tavern and have someone take over for him for a couple of days since heā€™s going to focus on you right now.
If you allow him, heā€™ll heat up his hands with his Pryo Vision and place them on your abdomen to ease your cramps slightly. If youā€™re feeling sick at any point, just tap on him or signal him, and heā€™ll make sure you get to the bathroom.
Heā€™ll always take one of your hands, pepper kisses all over, and look at you while the two of you are in bed as you relax.
This man is a gentleman (all the men are gentlemen).
Your well-being is a main priority for him.
Heā€™ll shower you with affection and pamper you lots.
Heā€™ll always talk with you and explain that if you need anything at all, just tell him. Itā€™s no bother nor burden. Heā€™ll always assure you that youā€™re his partner and that he cares about you, giving plenty of reassurance if you need it.
All his duties will be resumed once youā€™re feeling better completely, so donā€™t worry about him being behind or anything. He still manages things remotely from Dawn Winery.
Diluc:Ā "Please do tell me if you need anything, anything at all."
You:Ā "Of course I will, Diluc. I love you."
Diluc:Ā "Love you too."
ļ½”ļ¾Ÿā€¢ā”ˆź’°įƒ ā™” ą»’ź’±ā”ˆā€¢ ļ¾Ÿ ļ½”ļ¾Ÿā€¢ā”ˆź’°įƒ ā™” ą»’ź’±ā”ˆā€¢ ļ¾Ÿ ļ½”ļ¾Ÿā€¢ā”ˆź’°įƒ ā™” ą»’ź’±ā”ˆā€¢ ļ¾Ÿ ļ½”ļ¾Ÿā€¢ā”ˆļ½”ļ¾Ÿā€¢ā”ˆź’°įƒ
TĪ¹É Ō‹É³Ī±É¾Ī¹ šŸŒ»
Heā€™ll brew up some tea or have you drink a glass of water first when you confirm with him that itā€™s that time.
He has plenty of medicine and herbs on hand to ease your cramps and maybe the nausea caused by them.
Heā€™ll let you have snacks but will also make sure you have balanced meals, going for the healthy approach.
Donā€™t be afraid of your mood changes or swings; he understands. Heā€™s not going to be mad if you end up snapping at him.
Heā€™ll try to limit his job as a Forest Ranger so he can keep an eye on you and take care of you.
The first time it happened, he thought youā€™d come down with some sort of sickness until you told him what was happening. He understood and went out of his way to help you (though he did end up going on a ten-minute ramble about what you already knew and didnā€™t need to hear).
If you have back pain, heā€™ll rub your back for you. If youā€™re feeling any other discomfort, heā€™ll do whatever he can to help.
He also tends to give you face kisses and affection. Heā€™s a cuddle person and doesnā€™t mind you being clingy (none of the men mind you being clingy).
Tighnari:Ā "Now remember what I told you, [Name]?"
You:Ā "Tighnari, weā€™ve been over this five times already."Ā sigh
Tighnari:Ā "I just need to make sure youā€™re retaining the information."
You:Ā "This is going to take a while."
ļ½”ļ¾Ÿā€¢ā”ˆź’°įƒ ā™” ą»’ź’±ā”ˆā€¢ ļ¾Ÿ ļ½”ļ¾Ÿā€¢ā”ˆź’°įƒ ā™” ą»’ź’±ā”ˆā€¢ ļ¾Ÿ ļ½”ļ¾Ÿā€¢ā”ˆź’°įƒ ā™” ą»’ź’±ā”ˆā€¢ ļ¾Ÿ ļ½”ļ¾Ÿā€¢ā”ˆļ½”ļ¾Ÿā€¢ā”ˆź’°įƒ
197 notes Ā· View notes
tremendum Ā· 1 year ago
Text
i've got headaches and bad luck but they couldn't touch you
Tumblr media
[not my gif. title from song Of All the Gin Joints in All the World] pairing: joel miller x fem!reader (afab, use of she/her, use of the word girl) Ā  Ā 
rating: explicit. (18+. mdni.) Ā  Ā  Ā 
word count:Ā 4.6kĀ  requested: Could you write something (literally anything really) like mean Joel x feisty Reader but based on the ancient Fall Out Boys song "Of All the Gin Joints in All the World" pretty please? šŸ„ŗšŸ„¹ I was just listening and I thought the lyrics were perfect for your writing ā¤ļøBut as always no pressure and no problem at all if you don't like the idea or anything else. Lots of love! P.S. smut is very welcome btw hihihi summary:Ā ā€œJoel's not one for feelings anymore,Ā but you seem to pull them out of him like it's your goddamn job." warnings:Ā established previous hookups, use of girl/babygirl, established age gap (unspecified but addressed openly), brief mention of oral m!receiving, brief mention of reader and joelā€™s canon-typical scars. choking, mean!Joel & brat tamer!Joel, brat!reader lol, dirty talk (its joel), degradation, use of the word slut, slight dumbification, spitting, rough sex, unprotected PiV, cum eating, nipple play, slapping (tits, ass). think that's it!
notes: okay finally another mean!Joel for the soul!!! this is super unedited also. tysm for the request, obv inspired by the song Of All The Gin Joints in All the World by FOB. :) this was fun and i hope yall love it! dont b afraid to request anything yall wanna read at all and as always pls comment or reblog :) love u xoxo Ā 
[other Joel fics: mr. miller series fever landminesĀ  ]
Tumblr media
ā˜… Ā 
Joel Miller isn't sure exactly when all this bullshit started.Ā 
one day, he was introduced to you fleetingly in the cafeteria while you and Maria had an intense conversation - heā€™s not sure if you spoke for more than ten seconds; but months later and Joel happens to know exactly what your sweaty skin tastes like on the sharpness of his tongue and could probably list his favorite pairs of underwear you own.Ā 
it's nothing, really.Ā 
you patrol together often, and Joel guesses that out of all the insufferable people he's had to deal with, you're definitely not the worst. perhaps your handiness with a trigger - not nearly as inept as his own but definitely a close second - helps; or maybe it's the way your mouth feels wrapped around his cock.Ā 
and he's not stupid; he knows exactly what Tommy was doing when he signed Joel with you for patrol - the same shit he'd been pulling since they were thirty years younger and Joel was fresh out of the relationship with Sarah's mom. but it's different now, because life is not the same - nothing is the same.Ā 
Joel's not one for feelings anymore,Ā but you seem to pull them out of him like it's your goddamn job.Ā 
you are one talkative motherfucker; usually, that'd drive Joel up a wall, but after repeated and incessant exposure to Ellie for such an extended period, his patience has surprisingly grown.
and unlike others, you never acted nervous or scared by him. irritated, maybe, but it's not like he cares much if you get irritated by his attitude; you're worse than he can be.
at first, he thought you were just fucking him because you just didn't know who he really was yet.Ā but months into whatever this shit is, and you're still - for whatever fucking reason - hanging around him, even after everything. he likes it, though, that you fight fire with fire.
and maybe that's why Tommy stuck you two together, because in some ways it was inevitable - maybe it was a good thing, Joel thinks.Ā 
but this morning, as Joel's mind slams against his body, jolting him awake, his aching head makes him double-guess that.
it's weird how different it all is now - before you, Joel was tortured through nights plagued with sweats and memories. blood, pain, loss. he used to dream restlessly of life and all of its unforgiving horrors; but now, to his shock, he finds himself plagued with dreams of you.Ā 
he gasps awake - he's not sure he'll ever stop that.Ā 
but this time, you're next to him in the bed. his skin feels warm as the light filters through the blinds that stay constantly pulled down this time of year to retain the cool air and Joel lets out a shuttered sigh, his head aching.
it's only the second time you've stayed the night. he's never stayed at yours, god forbid - but a small part of him aches this morning when you slide out of his heavy, sleep-addled muscles. in the absence of your heat there is still bliss for a moment, until he's roused fully by your voice.Ā 
"these sheets are dirty." the sound carries into his ears, melodic and fiery. he cracks one eye open, hand raising to rub over his face - a deep, tired sigh.Ā 
"g'mornin' to you too." he snarks, sighing as he pulls himself on aching muscles to blink his eyes open; you stand over the bed, on the side that usually remains cold an empty while Joel thrashes in fits of restless sleep. there's not a single scrap of clothing on your body.Ā Ā 
he feels himself stir at the sight of you, naked, neck painted in a splattering of beautiful marks that'd been pulled forth in moments of ecstasy the night before.
you send him a half smirk, shrugging as you tug on a shirt - his,Ā fuck, his stomach swirls at the sight of you wrapped in him. something primal crawls in his chest as you smile at him, legs almost glowing in their bareness as they knock against the side of the mattress. your fingers brush the fabric to the left of his head.Ā 
"there's stains on the pillows." you shake your head, your face alluring in its tease. he feels himself roll his eyes as he grunts, "you're actin' like it ain't your makeup stainin' it?"Ā 
he stares at the marks on the pillowcase; black, from that shit you sometimes put on your eyes which just makes them all the more beautiful, wide, and alluring. the makeup that's surely expired after all this time but still is something you like to do to, as you'd mentioned once, 'reclaim your humanity.' whatever.
Joel would never admit it to you, but he hadn't even really tried to wash out those stains; something about them gives him a warmth in his chest every morning that he wakes up in this cold bed.Ā 
but when his eyes fall back to you in your silence, you smirk and it hits him: you're fucking teasing him.
he glares at you as your lips curl in a huff of a laugh, shaking your head. "if you keep complainin' about every damn thing, might as well just fuck you on the floor." he mutters, mostly to himself-Ā  but also to see the way your thighs shift, eyes widening slightly as color washes your cheeks. you're squirming at his words, just like that - oh, he's got you pinned.
you'd like that, you dirty little thing.
but you regain your composure quicker than lightning, ready to snap back; yet another tally to add on the list of things he admires about you.
"you're such a gentleman, Miller." you snide, fanning yourself sardonically with one hand as you roll your eyes, searching for your underwear.Ā 
he remembers the first time you'd said that to him -
"why so shy?"Ā you'd purred. the memory of your voice curls around his ears as he huffs, watching you bend over and give him a complete view of your ass as you fetch your panties from the floor. Ā "c'mon, Joel, you don't need to be such a gentleman. 's nothing you haven't seen before."Ā you'd stripped yourself of your shirt, your pert nipples pebbling in the cold breeze as he'd sat, cleaning his rifle.Ā "the hell's the matter with you?" he'd grumbled; but it didn't stop either of you. you'd been pressed between him and the splitting backseat of the broken down crashed car within seconds, anyways.Ā 
his eyes meet yours as you stand again.Ā 
he snarks, "well youā€™re givin' me a headache, an' I've only been up for two minutes." he glares at you, swinging to pull his boxers over his hips, standing up to find his shirt. he pointedly ignores the glare you send him at his grumpiness.Ā 
"you're the one acting dumb," you mutter, "acting like I'm the one who gives you headaches." you retort, a teasing glint in your eye; he knows that look. Joel knows you'd never get a headache from him - as much as he pisses you off, he knows you're too fiery, too lucky to get caught up in whatever miserable puddle he's drowning in.Ā 
because Joel's bad luck curls around his fists wherever he goes; the talons reaching out, crawling through every hallway and seeping through every door.Ā you, on the other hand, are like a goddamn firecracker. Joel hates the idea, but you're... somehow gifted in that way.
he's convinced his bad luck couldn't touch you if it tried.Ā 
no matter the dumb shit you pull - forgetting a flashlight, not flipping off your safety that one moment when the clicker had stumbled out of the brush; all of that, and you escape unscathed, nothing but a giggle and a half-shrug from you before you move on to the next stupid thing.Ā 
if you weren't such a goddamn brat, it'd be charming.Ā 
his eyes snap to yours as your words fall from your lips; a burning in his chest at your tone. he watches your legs carry you into his bathroom, and he can't help it when his follow yours.
you haven't even flipped on the lights before he shuts the door behind him - you're already wearing that snarky fucking smile on your face, and he's straining already against his boxers.
he stares down at you, crowding you slowly into the wall.Ā "what the fuck did you just say to me?" he hisses, mouth close to yours. as you turn your chin up towards his face, he can tell that you try your hardest to control your smirk, playing into the tense energy that's emanating from his chest.Ā 
Tumblr media
"I said you're acting dumb."
you repeat, tilting your head slightly as you drink in the darkness in his eyes. lord, you'd let that darkness swallow you in a fucking heartbeat.Ā 
speaking of; your own heartbeat thunders in your chest, anticipating. you know what's coming, you can nearly taste it on your tongue.Ā 
"oh, 's that right?" Joel asks, tilting his head to stare down at you. you swallow as you stare back into those deep irises, the small bit of golden light that shines through the small bathroom window illuminating in an ominously heavenly ray.
his hand settles on the crook of your shoulder and neck, sliding gently upwards as you nod your head defiantly, pushing as far as you can to see when he'll snap. his eyes glisten in temptation; daring you to act up more.Ā 
raising your brows, you try to play like it's obvious, "waking up and complaining about your headaches, old man?" you tut gently, shaking your head innocently. "I don't think it's my fault that you fucked me twice, immediately passed out and now your head hurts when you've woken up the next morning. you know better than to push yourself in your old age, Joel. that'sĀ stupid." you add coyly, knowing it'll push him over the edge - he loves it when you act like a brat, no matter how much he denies it.Ā 
his response is immediate and exactly what you'd hoped for.Ā 
he's on you in a split second - hand sliding from your shoulder to grip your throat, pushing you back onto the wall of the bathroom. the towel bar digs into your middle-back slightly and you gasp in arousal at the force of his body on yours. you can feel his cock, hard and straining in his boxers, as it presses into your lower stomach.Ā 
"y'wanna play like that, baby?" he growls, "why you fuckin' around with an old man like me, then?" he asks.
your face heats up, arousal flooding your core, your cunt slowly wetting itself at the purr of his voice - the meaner the words, the larger the flame.Ā 
"hm?" he gently pushes, raising his brows as his hand squeezes gently on your throat, nudging you against the wall further; your gasp is slightly rasped under the pressure, your whole body screaming with desire. this is what you love - mean, angry, hungry Joel Miller. "'s it because nobody fucks you like I do, is that it?"
his knee slides between yours, wedging himself high up, rubbing suddenly against your aching pussy, the material of your cotton already soaked with a damp spot that rubs against his thick thigh.Ā 
"Joel, fuck-" you groan, already willing to just do what you can to get him to touch you. his hand on your throat tightens at your word, thigh rutting up to slide against your needy clit, your hips bucking at the feeling. "-'s because nobody else is so easy." your fiery mouth betrays your body; the snarky comment snaps his eyes to yours, a dark breath leaving his lips.Ā 
"that's ironic," he snaps, "comin' from someone who begged me to fuck them for hours."Ā 
your face burns at the memory of the first time you and Joel'd hooked up; your desperate voice hoarse from pleading him to fuck you - out in the middle of the woods, a sleeping bag that, by the end, had rips on it from rocks and twigs and the force of his thrusts; the shyness gone from either of you as your touches made up for all the silence between you.
he hums lowly, watching you as you swallow at the memory, his thigh rutting up again and pulling a yelp of pleasure from your lips. "y'don't feel so high 'n mighty when I fuck you stupid, right baby?" he asks, voice dripping with condescendence as he nods gently, encouraging you to answer him. your core throbs at his words, your mouth going dry.Ā 
his hand leaves your throat; you swallow a gulp of air, staring with wide eyes as he grasps your jaw roughly. "answer me."Ā 
"n-no, I don't." you mutter, voice sounding small; the arousal that pulses through your veins begs your mouth to be smart, do what Joel says so he'll give in to what you want.Ā 
he smirks, hands roughly grabbing the thick of your hips and flipping you around to press you against the counter, your hips bending as he shoves himself just behind you. your eyes meet yourself and his own hawkish gaze in the mirror in front of you; your heated breath fogs up the mirror in the faint morning light.Ā 
his fingers thread through your hair, tugging you back again as he tilts your head back. his upside down face, smirking down at you, has your thighs clenching - "open." he orders, voice stern.Ā 
your tongue sticks out and he wastes no time spitting roughly onto your tongue, moving your head back to stare into the mirror; his eyes meet yours as his spit slides over your tongue and his furrowed brows twitch with a slight smirk. "look at you, doin' what I tell you. now swallow it and say thank you."Ā 
your core flutters at his words deliciously as you do as you're told; swallowing, you take a breath and mutter, "thank you," - though it's more breathless than you expected, Joel seems to approve. he hums, "there are those manners," he mutters into your ear, cock pressing against the swell of your ass. "almost seemed like you'd forgotten you had them."Ā 
"didn't forget." you mutter, face heating up as your pussy aches, fluttering around nothing and desiring for his fingers, his cock - anything.Ā 
one rough palm slides his shirt up your torso, exposing your bare tits to both of you through the mirror. with his face stooped down near your neck, a short inhale of your hair before his hand reaches it's destination - your throat.Ā 
"then why're you actin' up?" he rasps, teeth grazing your shoulder.Ā he squeezes his hand again and your eyes roll back in pleasure, arousal soon slicking your thighs as you think you may die from all the teasing. "you don't wanna cum?"Ā 
your eyes widen, breath halting as you shake your head, "wh- no- no!" you hiss, "I do want to cum, please."Ā 
his other hand raises, slapping your breast harsh and quick; your gasp of shock tapers off into a whine of pleasure, your nipples hard in arousal as his palm comes to soothe over the sting.Ā 
"then why're you acting like this?" he asks again, shaking his head. another slap, this time to your other breast. his eyes follow the skin of your chest; the way you gasp, your whines at the slight stinging and the pleasure that follows. fingers pinch your nipples, teasing in circles before another sharp slap echoes through the room. "just a little brat, y'can't help yourself." he decides, biting on your neck lightly.Ā 
you can feel him rut against you hard, grinding his hips as he lets out a short groan. you let out a low moan, whining slightly when he smacks your tits again, skin glowing with the impact. his eyes meet yours in the mirror.Ā "quit the whinin'," he grunts, rutting his hard cock against your ass, "you'll be stuffed full of me soon enough." he grunts, "then we'll see who's dumb."Ā 
your shaky moan sounds more like a groan, elbows falling to steady yourself as Joel releases your throat, tossing you forward to grab your hips instead. he pulls you back, grinding into you as his head tilts back in how own small groan of pleasure. "this ass."Ā Joel grunts to himself as he palms the curve of your ass in both large hands, one falling to smack harsh onto the left.Ā 
you're dripping down the inside of your thighs as he ruts against you twice more; thick fingers soon slide to thumb at the slick wet of your panties. his fingers tease the wet material that's glued to your pussy with need, tracing over your lips lightly over the fabric. "pretty pussy, just for me." he mutters; you nod, looking up at him through the mirror, "all for you, Joel." you affirm, voice shaking with anticipation.Ā 
"you gonna be good when I fill you up, baby?" he lifts his brow, stern look as he palms himself. fuck, he's so sexy behind you like this, his thumb slowly dragging the material of your panties to the side and exposing your weeping cunt; you nod, "yes, I'll do anything-"Ā 
you're cut off by a sharp gasp as the stretch of his cock's head cuts off your brain. he eases in gently at first which you're more than grateful for - no matter how many times Joel fucks you, his size is always something you have to adjust to; especially after your rounds last night left you barely able to walk straight.Ā 
he lets out a breath, "there y'go, baby, take me." he says it surprisingly gently, easing in inch by inch as you breathe deeply, your soaked pussy easing his cock through your channels.Ā his cock is heavy and aching as he slides into you, sheathing you fully within another few seconds - Joel's hands grip so hard on your ass, splaying you open for him, that you think his fingers will remain there for days.Ā 
he's still only for a moment, letting you accommodate to his size before he's leaning forward to press his chest to your back, "gonna fuck you stupid, baby."Ā 
"please, Joel," you groan, cunt fluttering, begging him to move. "do it."Ā 
it's all that he needs before he's settingĀ a pace that has you whining under him, your breath choking as you brace yourself agains the counter of the sink.Ā 
it's bliss. his hips are sharp, the reach of his cock pressing against the spongy spot inside you,Ā dragging against your pulsing walls. "fuck, so deep-" you hiss, eyes closing in pleasure as he presses himself against you, hips surely going to bruise against the thrusts that shove you into the countertop.Ā 
one hand sneaks over your front, grasping at your tits as his cock reaches up into you deeply. he lets out a grunt, "fuckin'- christ, you're s-so tight," he grunts, "even after fuckin' you all night."Ā 
you moan, the quick bout of his praiseĀ causing you to squeeze around him, trapping him in your aching desire. the both of you moan at the feeling and suddenly one hand presses on your spine until you're low to the counter. his hands grab your shoulders, fingers curling around the base of your throat as he changes his pace to hard and rough, the sound of your ass against his hips nearly hitting your ears over your cries of pleasure.Ā 
the noises of your arousal swallowing his cock echo around the room in a familiar, comforting chorus as you both let out shuttering moans; his strong arms pull you back until you're once again pressed against his broad chest. his breath fans over your neck and you whine slightly when his thrusts press you up onto your tip-toes. his lips find your ear, "how's that feel?" your hole flutters from the deepness in his voice - he groans at the feeling.Ā 
your response is a whine of ecstasy as you claw at his forearms, head tilting back until you can almost feel his erratic heartbeat. his chest rumbles with a light chuckle, "look, barely took ya any time to get fucked out on my cock," he praises, hand petting your wild hair, "knew you'd be good for me. always take what I give you, right?"Ā 
you nod, desperate to reach the climax that's easily built within you from the stretch of him deep in you and his voice in your ear. your clit aches from being ignored and your hand snakes down to rub light circles on it; your hips jolt as you gasp raggedly, eyes fluttering shut in pleasure.Ā 
"no." he growls, hand grabbing your jaw sternly as he pounds into you, "when I'm fuckin' you, you keep your eyes on me." he snaps, squeezing your cheeks. "'s that clear?"
you nod in the mirror, whines getting louder as his name falls nearly incoherently from your lips- you see his lips ghost over your neck, the smirk that spreads over his pink lips as you finally get out a strangled, "Joelpleaseplease- s'close-"Ā 
he knows what you need; you and Joel are each other's best escape.Ā he pistons into you hard, chasing your high as he feels it spasming close around him. "easy, huh?" he snarls, hips just as harsh as his words, eyes sharp on yours. "who's easy, baby -Ā me, or the one beggin' like a slut to cum on my cock?"Ā 
for someone so quiet and closed off, Joel Miller has never shied away from using his goddamn words when he's fucking you, that's for sure. his words, his accent - they push you towards the edge and it almost distracts you from his question. his eyebrows raise in the silence as you gasp for words, moans chokedĀ  as his fingers slide down from your jaw to squeeze your throat.Ā 
"look at'cha, can't even speak for me," he groans, his hand suddenly snaking down to smack your away from your clit; two larger, calloused fingers replace your shaky ones and you wail at the stimulation, almost too much.
you blink up at him through the mirror, unable to speak, unable to think as you feel the crest of something incredibly blissful growing; you let out a whine of ecstasy. "I'm- I'm easy," you concede, finally able to spit your words out, your voice higher than normal in your pleasure.Ā 
Joel nods, kissing your sweaty hairline, "'s goddamn right you are, babygirl," he hisses, "easy for me. this pretty little pussy is mine, isn't it?"Ā 
you scream, "yours, Joel-"Ā before he barely finishes the sentence.
with your words, he smiles against your neck - the feeling of it sends goosebumps over your whole torso.Ā "you're a lucky girl," he growls in your ear, teeth brushing the shell before licking it gently, "you can cum."Ā 
you barely realize you've hit your orgasm until youā€™re writhing - a white-hot, searing arousal streaking your vision as your eyes roll back. he fucks you steadily through your orgasm, your thighs closing slightly around his large palm, but his fingers don't stop their motions on your clit.Ā 
you shake and stutter for gasps as he pounds into you, chasing his own high that's been spurred - by your own words or the clenching of your orgasm around him, you're unsure.Ā 
"love how you feel-" he groans, voice weakening as he nears his own orgasm, hips sloppy as he pushes your face down, against the cool tile of the bathroom sink. "fuck, baby, made to take this cock."Ā 
his sentences are choppy, his gasps and grunts of pleasure mixing with the slap of your ass against him as he thrusts, your legs tired as he fills you full and then suddenly pulls out. you gasp at the suddenness of his absence, turning to look at him as if betrayed - but he looks completely gone, eyes dark with need. "gonna cum on your tits, sweetheart."Ā 
your stomach flips at the word - one he's never used before - and you relax into his harsh grip, moving down to the ground on your knees as he grunts, "take this shit off now."Ā 
his shirt is on the ground in half a second, your breasts bare to him as he fists his cock, eyes on you and lidded with pleasure. your hands fall onto his strong thighs, looking up at him in awe as he fists his cock, slick with your sticky spend, tip flushed and veins stretching over the shaft. "please, cum on me, want it so bad, Joel," you whine - his hand caresses your jaw and slips over your lips, sticking his thumb into your mouth. you suck eagerly and he moans your name deep, head tilting back in ecstasy.Ā 
"fuck," he grunts, slipping his thumb out of your mouth before you can even swirl your tongue around it, and then he's hitting his orgasm.
ropes of his cum land on your tits, a small bit gathering on your chin as he slows his hand, letting out a few sharp breaths. he's barely caught his breath before your fingers are gathering a swipe of his thick cum, bringing it to your mouth. his dark eyes follow you through his labored breaths as you slowly suck his spend off of your fingers, "fuckin'- pretty," he mumbles into his hand as he runs a palm over his face, shaking his head.Ā 
you smile, cheeks heating up. the sun is rising and the room is fully golden, bouncing off the mirror and illuminating his tan skin, the scars on his body and yours. he's pretty, you realize.Ā 
you tell him so, quietly - in the silence of the bathroom. his scowl softens and you swear you see a blush forming as he rolls his eyes down at you from where you perch on the linoleum.Ā 
Joel always says you only tell him sweet things to get him to fuck you - but in the afterglow of your actions, you catch sight of your makeup-stained pillowcase back in Joel's bedroom and it makes you grin. you know he doesn't wash it for a reason, the same reason you keep coming back to him.Ā 
and you also know that the way he smooths his thumb over your hairline, the way your own hands in turn soothe over his thighs - those actions, they make up for everything else that's unspoken.
.Ā·:*ĀØą¼ŗ ą¼»ĀØ*:Ā·..Ā·:*ĀØą¼ŗ ą¼»ĀØ*:Ā·..Ā·:*ĀØą¼ŗ ą¼»ĀØ*:
taglist: @satansgoatt @elissaaa @queerponcho @bbyanarchist @lapricot @umavvitch @asreadbyaj @dinsbaby @cottoncandytomu @onmytallesttiptoess @switchbladedreamz @missannwinchester @abs-2020 @afandomidiot @cosm1c-babe @rogersbarnesxx @carleenphillips-blog @bonnibuckets @nightlovechild @jazzyspasms @girlboybug @cannolighost @pastelnap @userpedros @feministfanboi @frogers @grhowls @daddy-din @gothoppered @totallynotastanacc @robbatlover @casssiopeia @wannab-urs @redhotkitchen @joelapologist2001 @silkiers
message me if i forgot to tag u. i was pretty lazy with this one sorry. requests are open.
.Ā·:*ĀØą¼ŗ ą¼»ĀØ*:Ā·..Ā·:*ĀØą¼ŗ ą¼»ĀØ*:Ā·..Ā·:*ĀØą¼ŗ ą¼»ĀØ*:
2K notes Ā· View notes