#but there is nothing more soul sucking than knowing that if the white ppl in my life didn’t know me

[jennycalendar]

i don’t know what happened when i started living alone and going to work but suddenly it’s like i am paying attention and the way that racism and misogyny impacts my day to day life is actually noticeable now. fling me out a window

[ask-koichi]

hey there--decided to write another rant here bc my page is a little too shit-posty for stuff like this <3 hope this is okay!!

I hate Jotaro’s characterization. a lot.

He, as a character had potential beyond just being who he is: a badass. When I ask people what they think of jotaro, they tell me they think of a giant strong guy who doesnt take shit.

And that... Sucks.

With many shounen or even seinen manga, theres a weird caricaturing for badass characters like jotaro, and perhaps its because of the stigma behind ‘strong & manly’ men with emotions, but jotaro could have been a legendary and relatable character if only araki delved into his insecurities.

in the beginning as startdust crusaders we’re shown how jotaro is rude to his mother but when she doesnt kiss him one time he gets slightly worried--something that is the only profound scene regarding in their relationship.

(also i dont like at all the fact that holly put up w her son's shit. she is a person too, and it wouldve been nice if she physically stopped herself from touching/kissing him bc he's so explosive)

the reason he’s a bitch to his mother is not explored beyond puberty hitting him like a truck.

Like... thats it??

i know what ur probably thinking: huh?? and?? the focus of this part was just with the crew aiming to fight dio--

and thats when i say ur WRONG.

the entire beginning, the very base of this was because jotaro didnt want his mother to die, so i feel like it does matter to talk abt how poorly it was portrayed.

in 1988 of japan, lets say that there was a stigma for many things, and even taboos that still apply to this day in many countries, but the two main ones are: being fatherless, large, and having foreign blood/parent(s)

jotaro has blue eyes, jotaro was ‘fatherless’ at a young age, since his father is rarely ever around.

japan is known for its extreme bullying towards the nonconforming in both physical and mental aspects, search it up.

anyway, i feel like it would have been the best explanation for jotaro’s cold nature that developed at such a young age and how it effected the people around him because of the bullying he faced for having blue eyes or having an english woman as a mother, and so on.

it would have also explained why later on as he slightly matured he’d blame his mother and therefore be mean to her and call her rude shit--because he associated his mother to the bullies who mocked him for having a white mom--and also hate his father by extension bc he was labelled as ‘fatherless’.

he’d think that everyone is superficial and that intimidation is the best way to protect himself bc when he bulked up the boys stopped pestering him and the same girls who laughed at the sight of him being bullied now wanted to slip into his pants.

those insecurities would ten-fold maybe--was it just bc of his looks that ppl now like him? now that he’s grown, is he nothing beyond his looks?? does he, as a person, mean nothing to anyone?

is this why his mother is more withdrawn now--bc she realized this (’withdrawn’ being shes giving jotaro more space since hes always so grumpy, but he doesnt know this).

perhaps he couldve bonded with kakyoin beyond just sharing life and death experiences bc of similar school experiences--after all, its canon that kakyoin is suicidal, and maybe depression couldve been another topic explored--kakyoin is weirdly fierce for someone who is supposed to be a ‘weak/kindred soul’ as araki put it.

kakyoin has flaming red/pink hair--a major anomaly. he’s softspoken--yet another anomaly, since boys back then were supposed to be assertive.

it wouldve been cool to see them bond mutually from that--with kakyoin showing genuine interest in his input when he shows him his art, asks him for his opinion, and slowly as the 50 days progressed, he trusts kakyoin more than anything bc in anyones experience who’s faced similar experiences, once u open up enough to trust someone, u trust them completely.

same thing goes for the rest of the crew; theyre all strange, eccentric people and it would make sense that jotaro would embrace himself and those features he’s hated for all his life (the reason why he always wears his hat couldve been that it shadows over his eyes is to hide the ocean-blue hue of them)

back to his mom--yeah, he blames her, and the moment she gets sick, it worries him--a lot.

theres been moments in his life where he wishes she were dead, but when he saw her wilting on the ground, he fucking loses it.

reality crashes down him--it wouldve been profound if he only lost his shit in the beginning with only his mother and stayed calm and cool later on in the story. maybe after kakyoin is killed, he couldve really lost his shit if his relationship developed a ton--maybe he even admitted to him in one scene that he’d love to go to his favorite coffee shop with kakyoin and show him the places he loiters around (places that seem so bright now that the thought of kakyoin, his first real friend, would check out) bc after all, even if joot is built like an ox, he’s still a kid.

so, it wouldve been cool that the moment he finds out that kakyoin was killed, he fucking loses it--and this time, now that his stand in his complete control and he’s matured and learned from all his fights, he’s absolutely terrifying in his own way.

he doesnt lash out and freak out the way he did with his mother, but this time, the way he reacts here in his confrontation w dio was the same, if not worse way in part 4 when he destroys kira while he faced a ptsd episode (kudos to araki for throwing that scene in btw)

he doesnt respond to any of dio’s taunts and hits him with dirty moves--AND OMG... I FORGOT IF THIS HAPPENED CANONICALLY SO FORGIVE ME IF IT DID BUT IMAGINE IF HE FINISHES OFF DIO THE SAME WAY DIO KILLED KAKYOIN--WITH A GIANT HOLE IN HIS STOMACH???

AND HE JUST STANDS THERE, HOVERING OVER DIO, WITH THAT DEAD + ANGRY LOOK IN HIS EYES, and lets pretend that joseph is okay here, he needs to pull jotaro physically away from dio’s body bc jotaro just continues to beat his body to a bloody pulp and starts sobbing.

jotaro is a human, 17 year old boy who had no friends up until now. jotaro yearns normalcy--something that had seemed so out of reach till he became fast friends w kakyoin--kakyoin, who was the same person who complimented his eyes when his hat was off, the same person who had his back in fights and was so damn kind, and all of that was ripped away so suddenly.

part 3 ends with jotaro being weirdly kind to his mother--she reminded him a little of kakyoin, and tries his best to keep his emotions in check and not lash out on her.

the last panel is  of jotaro, a large, strong guy hunched over his desk with his phone loose in his hand, and a message was sent to kakyoin where it says:

"where are you? didnt you want to taste that cherry cheesecake i told you about?"

LIKE IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR?? NOT A GLORIFIED 17 Y/O WHO CALLS HIS MOM A BITCH AND IS SUPER STRONG PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY??? LIKE???

JOTARO IS THE DEFINITION IS PHYSICALLY STRONG BUT MENTALLY STRUGGLING... he suffers to make any real connection throughout the entire series except for koichi bc i think he reminds him of kakyoin and then his daughter (to the people who’ve read part six: you know.)

HE WOULDVE BEEN SUCH A WELL WRITTEN CHARACTER--I BARELY TOUCHED THE ICEBERG BC THERE WAS SO MANY ROUTES ARAKI COULDA TAKEN WITH HIM BUT THIS IS WHAT WE GOT........

(omg sorry this is so long, i just feel like araki really fucked up w his earlier characters!!! i hope my ramble makes sense ;-;)

OOC; God fuck, I can't even type out a response to this. I tried for weeks, but I wasn't able to. But I agree so fucking hard. I love you man- like, I never met people who actually thought this way, all the jobros... ya know?

[zhilan]

was debating on voicing this or not, but saw a convo on talking about something similar so thought to share. Even if there's some true Melby fans, it feels like straight shippers have convinced the Charmed writers to go with Melby, and by extent straight shippers got to speak over queer fans on a queer story. Melby still feels forced and I just can't really back it up. I feel bad for Bethany, who apparently is gay herself, having people have this talk about a character she plays. 1/2

Pre Charmed I was one that never really saw much difference if it was a gay or hetro person playing a gay character. I never saw the big deal about whether a person of x sexuality or race wrote about a gay or poc characters. Charmed changed that, with Melonie Diaz seemingly being anti Abimel, not understanding why people shipp them. The writer stuff is self explanatory at this point, sad it feels like ppl r ok with gays getting less if it's cis het pocs benefiting. (2/2)

Okay, so a lot of things here but first we'll talk about Melby. I agree there are some people who do genuinely like them (but they’re few tbh). I was one of the people genuinely excited for Melby when Ruby was first introduced - especially because I was feeling zero chemistry from MelKat and I was so relieved they replaced Kat with Ruby as a love interest because for me personally, I do think Melby does have chemistry and I was into it. But the season progressed... and nothing. My big problem with Melby is that their entire relationship was developed offscreen, and the very very very little that we do have onscreen doesn't really have much continuity. I mean. Here's a summary of their development (like this is ALL the Melby content leading up to the ILY:

2x12, they meet

2x13, they wake up in bed together (awesome, we never even saw their first kiss LOL), end of episode they decide to be casual

2x19, they break up (even though they weren't even a couple??)

3x02, they're back together without addressing the issue with magic

3x06, they break up, again. make up again.

3x12, they're saying i love you

Like... literally WHAT?! what?!?! I've seen many poorly written wlw relationships (because that seems to be a standard for a lot of shows) but damn, Melby takes it to a whole new level. And I think the thing that makes it even more frustrating, is that the fact is literally all the other wlw ships, canon and non-canon (that's Melko, Melda, Melkat and Abimel) ... ALL have better writing, better build-up and better development that Melby has. It's the fact that we've had better wlw writing before this, that's why it's harder to just be okay with it because we know the writers are actually capable of doing better, so why are we stuck with a non-existent ship instead? I’d take Melko, Melda, Abimel and even Melkat whom I don’t really like - over Melby because they all actually have content. And Jada, Niko, Kat and Abigael are their own person, instead of a love interest written to fit Mel in whatever way is convenient (which is a whole other issue too). And it feels even more unfair when you consider Melby only gets about a tenth of screentime compared to the het ships on the show when Mel is just as much a lead character as her sisters.

And so yeah. And it sucks and it’s annoying because it’s mostly the straight people shoving it down our throats - blaming the lack of investment for Melby on racism when it literally has nothing to do with that, and everything to do with - again, the lack of everything! (And omfg, is2g when it’s the white cishets telling qwoc who ship Abimel we’re racist.... stfu perhaps??) Honestly, Melby scenes for me are cute - on their own, without context bec with context it just sucks. They’re enjoyable, but they’re not exciting because the best part about shipping is the build-up, the waiting-for-it-to-happen. Melby had none of that. And that’s usually the part where you start getting invested on a ship, yk. At least that’s how it is for me. 

As for Bethany, yeah I agree it sucks because... I mean I don’t know her, but I follow her Insta and she seems like a genuinely nice person (with a super cute cat!) and idk I mean I haven’t seen people tagging her or anything when expressing disappointment with Melby so I don’t think she’s aware of the discourse. (I hope, because she deserves better than that) but honestly none of the criticism for Melby falls on Bethany. It’s not her fault at all. It’s on the showrunners for having it play out the way that it has.

And Melonie. I mean yeah. I have nothing against her, really. But as far as wlw representation goes, we know that she has a voice in the writers room from one of her interviews and even Abimel aside since that’s not the canon ship, I feel like it’s important to notice that even for Melby she doesn’t really push for more of it. She seems very content with what we’re given (which is next to nothing lbr) and I’m kinda meh about it — and I agree this is where the difference between having hets play gay characters matter. Because gay people will usually push for better gay representation because it’s personal to them and they know exactly what it means to the audience. Like look at how Chyler Leigh from Supergirl is constantly pushing for better wlw. And of course that’s not to say hets never do that because some do (like Azie Tesfai, for example bless her soul), but then for some it’s just a job. And to be clear, I’m not hating on Melonie for not doing more, but I think it’s also true that an actual lgbt actor might make more effort.

** I always think there should definitely be poc writers for poc characters though, that’s non-negotiable. And lgbt writers for shows with lgbt characters. Charmed is lacking in both, unfortunately. 

[abbeyfangirl]

dragon age: all characters (companions)

I’ve been in this fandom for a hot minute now and I want to update my opinions on characters :)

Origins

Alistair: super sweet dude who literally is not the stereotypicalchantryguyfightme. He’s a great example of healthy masculinity and I totally wish he was bi because I have an entire essay on that— also: he’s a poc! His mum was brown. In game he’s got dark features. if you really want a blond/blue-eyes/white guy, make your warden that. or accept that brown people can be noble and moral. or just draw cailan, idk. just because BioWare whitewashes doesn’t mean you should.

Leliana: someone hug my singing girlfriend before I crush her under with my own hugs. Also: nugs. Yes! Shoes. Yes! She likes how I style my hair? YES!! I honestly think she’s super duper and it pisses me off whenever someone’s like: yeah she enjoys killing people and the Game. ok. and michel de chevin willingly participated in genocidal marches through the alienage he grew up in with his elvhen mum. 

Morrigan: dirty swamp witch that i stan and also have a v big crush on. tiddies. Have a son with a GW so we can raise him with our tiddies out in the forest. she’s also white-passing, as her father was chasind and all people we’ve seen that are chasind are black. therefore, she is biracial. therefore, poc can be goths and don’t shy away from giving morrigan a darker skintone. if the devs had of been thinking, she’d have a darker skintone.

Zevran: Actually is the best romance, I think. Loves consent, therefore I will stan him so hard my skull cracks a little. Also: he is a very brown boy and if he’s white in da4 I’m seriously going to throw all canon out the fucking window. genuinely a good person who needs to be told so. 

Wynne: grandma who only likes my friends who go to church. but also super sweet and I’d rest my head on her bosom (in a platonic way omg ZEVRAN)

Sten: angry quiet boi. the bestest boi. I totally would give him a kitten for a gift and bake him cookies. Thicc softie. I think if I had DA:O and i knew how to use mods i would mod the fuck outta him. sorry.

Sha(y)le: who’s gender? idk her. See also: fuck birds and authority. pound ur ass into the ground you feathery meatbag little shits. fuck songbirds.

Dog: such a good boi. thicc. thinks Alistair is a whiny fuck and is Morrigan’s only friend. love him. he’s the cutest companion. bet.

Ohgren: honestly forgot about him bcc he’s such a shitbag. also: he could’ve been a really cool addiction recovery type but NOPE. probably would have a trump shirt in a modern au and would catcall wlw and hit mlm. no thanks.

Awakening

Anders: he acts like rlly straight but he’s so gay I can smell it. also he’s rlly cute and fun and I love him so much.

Justice: MAYBE i’M selF CONSCious OF THE twitchING. is the friend that genuinely doesn’t get dick jokes but is ur 110% ride or die.

Nathaniel Howe: honestly is sort of a white knight/neck beard a little, but it’s kind of charming with his whole velanna m’lady?? grump boi. annoying soul patch that I’d mod out SO FAST—

Sigrun: would have ROMANCED the FUCK out of her. why she even entertains the idea of fucking with ohgren makes me realize most of the writers are dumbfucks.png. peppy little emo. 12/10 would die if she kissed my cheek teasingly.

Ohgren: why. why. why. I’d have brought Shayle over. Maybe Zev? Definitely Dog.

Velanna: she was written to be an annoying feminist and you can tell but I deadass am a kindred spirit with her bcc I too am deadpan annoyed with Thedas’ general population too. love her. Would’ve loved to romance her. She’d totally be one of those who’d get all tsundere and be like “n-no i hate you” *kisses the fuckin soul out of you then blushes so hard she’s now a tomato*

Dragon Age II

Anders: fuck the cops. i don’t care. fuck the cops. (vine reference). also: do i hate him for blowing up the chantry that would eventually annul a huge collection of his people? no. read dalishious’s meta on Anders. v intriguing. didn’t they retcon the fuck out of the reported deaths too? like there was like eight Templars and Elthinia in there. Templars killed more “abominations” in a day than Anders in the game canon—

Aveline: initially thought she was fine and then realized she’s shit to my lil brother and I will fucking clap her ginger ass. See also: whorephobia isn’t a joke so fuck off with treating Isabela badly, you tit.

Bethany: sunshine. Literal sunshine. I feel my freckles grow in her presence and i love it. she’s my little baby sister and I’d slam that ogre so fuckin hard before it touched either twin.

Carver: there has to be a mod where both twins survive. I love them both to bits. My babies. carver is my bitter, angry little brother and I can relate because I too am very angry and would totally clap my own ass. hes so genuine and I don’t get the competition between Beth and Carver. Like, both are fuckin stellar in different ways. In this essay I will—

Fenris: honestly, I don’t get the general hate between him and Anders. Fenris’ main arc should’ve been a recovery arc, not drunken moping and revenge. he deserves better. give him a soft sweater instead of his spikes and let him love himself as much as I love him for MAKERS SAKE. like when you really think about their relationship, it could’ve been an eye-opener for fenris and finally some legit sympathy for anders. but we all know that if they had of teamed up that Meredith would’ve been dead before the end of Act 1 so.

Isabela: whorephobia is not a joke. oversexualizing your only appearing brown woman is so poorly written. how about we appreciate her and her lovely bosoms but also let people tease her about her heart of gold? her innate understanding of freedom? instead of just a wave of dick? please?? can we give her some pants for when she fights? can we accept that i fall for rogues who hate themselves?? fuck. also whomever draws her x femHawke x Merrill literally is after my own heart.

Merrill: my fucking babygirl MARRY ME. Fenris could’ve been her older brother type, but NO. she and Isabela should’ve been canonical gfs instead of Isabela/Fenris (no shaming the pairing tho!!). I love how she’s written as neurodivergent. V nice. Sometimes I just look her up and cry because she’s fucking everything. Also: she’s in the Dalish origin and she’s far from being white. Why did they make the most innocent/naïve character really white? hmmmm.

Sebastian: whew that boy. Would totally be that annoying Mormon at your door but you still let him in bcc he’s super sweet. Also: huge ass bible thumper and should get his head slap because you said the maker loved all his children why do you defend a complicit old hag you annoying attractive fuck—

Varric: totally is a bard and the devs couldn’t handle the idea of him being one bcc it might make him look less straight. is the only grey morality person I don’t want to fucking bash in with a fry pan. he sees people and I like that, but you totally know he’s siding with mages every time bcc him and Anders are like besties. I’m sorry. I don’t make the rules. “Professional Younger Brother”.

Tallis: I know nothing about her but she seems okay. I think she was an escaped slave and honestly? Fucking props. Spy on a shitting organization, idk what you’re doing, but your VA was that cool lesbian from SPN so I think ur okay?

Inquisition

Blackwall: Redemption Arc 101. Love him to bits. Sad dad bunwall. good man. actually atoned for his sins by actively becoming a good person. his initial design is 80% hotter im so sorry but so not.

Cassandra: was way browner in the last game. would romance the fuck outta her. I love me a butch lady who melts at my dorky recitation of poetry. BioWare is a coward. also is the worst choice for divine. but not a bad person. could use some more guidance or get her ass whipped by a dalish elf about religion or a circle mage kid whos like “yeah bud i didn’t ask for the templars to whip my ass everyday for existing.”

The Iron Bull: I think the Qunari/Vashoth were a little based off black people (the whole anti blackness thing where ppl are scared of them bcc of whatever reason) and it pisses me off that he had a weird ass dubcon thing with Dorian in banter. It doesn’t make sense— he’s an A+++ dom and would not jump straight in role play without at least checking in at first like wtf BioWare.

Cole: his mother was chasind so he’s like not supposed to be that white? or like biracial? albino? idk. love him to bits tho. He’s neurodivergent and I deadass love him. romancing him? idk. I see why ppl think it’s fuckin nasty but also like as a writer I’d age him the fuck up so fast before my inquisitor even THOUGHT about that. like idk. I’m down with him being a sweet little bro character tho. he’s a babe. love him.

Sera: had the worst fucking writer I’ve ever seen and I willingly read the twilight saga twice by a shit ass racist white lady who okay’d pedophilia. like. Fuck you Kristjanson suck your own dick you fuck. had the worst options in regards to speak to her. has a thicc case of internalized racism that literally most of the fandom just loves to use against her. my lesbian neurodivergent queen. Would write a thousand fix it fics for her. Love her to bits. im gay.

Varric: I haven’t played DA2 so i don’t get why everyone wants to romance him but like. a dwarf romance? yes please. Idk he reminds me of my uncle so I only see him as fun uncle material. Deadass should adopt Cole and Merrill and co parent with Blackwall for Sera. dads? fuck yeah. love me some wholesome, present fathers.

Dorian: is a gay stereotype that I love/hate so much. and he’s also just as bad about being a creep bcc he sexualizes qunari men (in banter). I attribute that to shit writing tho. I want to protect him from all the “omg gay best friend!” people. he’d clearly be that tired gay that wouldn’t give a diddly damn about ur het romance. wanna talk about politics? he’s ur guy/gay.

Solas: “me, an intellectual:”. I don’t hate him, but I’m not about him. He comes off as mysterious and suave (which he totally is) but I deadass would not save him from himself because he’s a racist, exclusionist eggshell. idk. not my cup of tea, but I can totally see the appeal. And he’s interesting, I’ll totally say that. “I think the Dalish are garbage but they made you” is not a compliment. it’s so offensive. and such bait for “quirky girls” which I’m no fan of. Would be Achilles and let Patroclus (Lavellan in his case) die before he realized how his pride is literally a waste of time. If he gets a redemption arc I hope Lavellan gets to slap him before getting him to teach all about ancient Arlathan and show that the Evanuris weren’t all total dicknozzles. (Aka I really have a hard time believing that they’d be slavery cult things. especially since they’ve compared elves to indigenous ppl, Jews and the Romani.)

Vivienne: it’s so racist that they’d make a black woman be pro-slavery. That’s such internalized racism. She could’ve been the cool ass “educate yourself first before you speak, fool” ice lady, but NO. the devs could’ve kept the “Templars are a tool that I proudly can mandate” and the “circles are very good education” and we. Could. Have. Romanced. Her. Like. Fuck. Sake. I just wanna give her a hug and say “love yourself omg!!” and not even in a romantic way. Also: she and morrigan should not have been so antagonistic towards each other. I’d expect them to have great respect for each other, as they both moved up in the world through hardwork and very little help. They could learn different magic from each other too and still maintain that rival respect “oh you” mood. Sidenote: probably the cooler option for Divine. if her approval is high enough she’ll love and be loyal to you forever and i can’t see her agenda being bad. she improves the circles exponentially and tells all the antis to suck her pretty painted toes.

Josephine: an actual disney princess. romanced her my first playthrough. I love her so much. she just makes me so happy. And she’s like: “Integrity, Loyalty, peace. That is what it means to be a GREY WARDEN good fucking person.” she’s the person who would let you hold her hand if you got anxious and she’d be that person who shouldered the whole group project with finesse and poise and would probably lie for everyone as to not be mean. i love josie. her and leliana’s relationship is so cute, too. whether it’s romantic or not: women supporting women.

Leliana: if you leave her hardened you must hate her. why. she becomes so against herself. i like how shes feminine and lighthearted because that’s so powerful-- to remain hopeful when the world is hopeless. (its hard to know when to soften her/harden her so i get it but. google it. she deserves to be happy and sweet again.)

Cullen: uwu war criminal with shit ass “redemption arc” that was actually a half-assed (at BEST) recovery arc. Recovery isn’t linear, it isn’t pretty, and even the broken need to be told they are wrong in order to heal right. Like I’m offended by that bullshit. I’ve had to do some mental health recovery in the past and unlearning lots of toxic ideologies— which I’m still unlearning— and it bothers me that he gets an easy pass because he’s hot. It’s one thing if you like Cullen, it’s another thing if you hold him accountable.

[avenger-hawk]

It's interesting to me that you described Itachi as 'controlling'. And while it should be obvious to me that he IS controlling because he is very good if not a master at planning things out and executing them, I never viewed him as controlling. But i think that may be because I dont think of controlling people as being calm and cool-minded like Itachi. I view Itachi as a sweet- hearted person who was put into a bad situation. Do you have more posts about Itachi being controlling? I'm intrigued.

(Before I start let me remind you guys that I’m writing my opinion on my blog and I’m not up to debate. if you disagree I couldn’t care less)

Don’t take it personally but imo sweet hearted Itachi is so OOC it hurts. I know that a thousand blogs will you otherwise cause they agree with you but to me that’s a bad fan misconception stemmed from a bad understanding of the story and his personality. It’s pretty obvious that the gentleness of his soul, that even his father mentioned, has nothing to do with being a poor cinnamon roll too pure for this world and other meme bs. 

Like I wrote here, Itachi is obsessed with control. Yup, he’s polite, he uses  honorifics and respecting elders and superiors, buthis perfectly appropriate manners are part of the education of a perfect shinobi and a future clan leader, cause he would have become the Uchiha clan leader without the massacre. He loves peace, he wants to avoid conflicts between villages, he believes in the village as the very thing the founders created, and he’s against his clan’s rebellion, BUT he was first and foremost a shinobi, a soldier, who knew violence couldn’t be avoided. He’s idealistic about a perfect village but not a blind Konoha follower, he knows history well and he knows the way things really were. He threatened Danzo to spill their secrets if he harmed Sasuke, for example. He is a genius, always many steps ahead of everyone, his mind is better than anyone else’s, he doesn’t trust anyone but his own means, despite his noble ideals and his love for peace he is not a team worker. 

He loves Sasuke more than anyone else, and he thinks he knows what’s best for him,but his methods were unorthodox, like his genius-like mind, so he hurt him more than anyone, even though he did it to spare his life and ensure him the safest life. Being a soldier, a shinobi since his early childhood, it’s only logical that he values Sasuke’s life and safety more than his mental sanity. He knows Konoha’s wrongdoings but still he think it’s better for Sasuke to live there. He loves Sasuke, he lives for Sasuke, he wants Sasuke to be safe and ALIVE. To ensure this he uses every possible mean, even if they mean harm for Sasuke, because in the long term they’ll all keep Sasuke safe and make him strong. 

He’s extremely self-confident. He’s the opposite of Sasuke who has a low self-esteem (and no, don’t give me the selfish Sasuke cause it’s OOC or the arrogant Sasuke cause that’s an act) . He’s selfless cause he sacrifices so much for Sasuke, but he does it in a ‘selfish’ way, cause he chose what to do for Sasuke and how. He takes full responsibility for his actions, and he controls each and every outcome of every action, literally fighting death back, in order to let Sasuke “kill” him during their fight, so that he would have his revenge (and return to Konoha as a hero, and obtain MS. He literally donates his life to his loved one) and he admitted his past mistakes like no other character did. 

As for where to find more controlling Itachi in my blog, you can try reading this, this, this, this and this but actually everything I write about Itachi mentions that cause I can’t stand the poor martyr Itachi fan idea. It’s so evident that I can’t understand why ppl don’t see it. What does being calm have to do with not being controlling? It’s not something only loud people have, in fact that’s being bossy maybe, but controlling is something that people can do both blatantly and covertly. Also those who control others in a calm, silent way are way more effective. Itachi was a master of manipulation and manipulation is a huge form of control. He once manipulated his father into going to Sasuke’s Academy ceremony. He manipulated Sasuke basically the whole time, he used to be a double spy so he used that skill on the job and in Akatsuki later.

People, and well written characters, aren’t black or white. They have good and bad traits, and the combination of them makes them fascinating. If there is no dark side the bright side is dull. Itachi is smart and indeed has a gentleness in his soul, and he showed it to Sasuke when he was a child, to Shisui and probably to his parents, on rare occasions. But the side that stands out the most was the strong-willed shinobi who hated to lose, as Shisui mentioned in the Shinden book, and Shisui sure knew him well. Even if more often than not he wore a mask figuratively speaking, and he hid his gentler side, it doesn’t mean he was a poor bby so gentle so sweet cause if he really were so, he wouldn’t have been able to pretend to be tough, detached, cold his whole life. He wouldn’t have resorted to that level of manipulation, cruelty and violence on Sasuke, not even to save his life. His decisions and actions stem from desperation because of Danzo’s blackmail, but they way he carried them out is part of his personality. His love for Sasuke, and his dream of peace, add depth to his personality, but the way he acted with Sasuke and for Sasuke speaks volumes of his controlling nature. 

My Itachi essays tag. My tags masterpost btw.If you’re on mobile and can’t open links blame tumblr app that sucks, and use a web browser. It’s not my fault.

[bleedpure]

         mark lee vc: LEZ GEDDIT   !   i’m al or ally, i’m nineteen, i’m in the cst timezone aka the midwest, so u know what that means   !   it sucks   !   i don’t even know how to transition out of that. i’m so bad at talking about myself, so i think we’re just gonna not do that.......   we’ll talk about seulki instead, which i can assure u he’s 100% more interesting than i will ever be   !   u can find his info under the cut and if u wanna plot hit that like button and i’ll come to u or u can hit me up on d*scord  ( which i would love tbh bc it’s easier than tumblr ims )  @ the jonas brothers did that#7625.   okay, onto the intro   !

- ̗̀✰ • 【 LEE MINHO, CISMALE, HE/HIM 】 ❝ did you see KIM SEULKI on the train back to hogwarts? they’re a HALF-BREED (VAMPIRE) in their THIRD year as a TWENTY year old RAVENCLAW. apparently they’re the ENIGMA around the grounds; most likely because they give off an aura of DROPLETS OF CRIMSON LIQUID DRIPPING OFF PEARLY WHITE FANGS, FORM FITTING JEANS THAT HUG JUST THE RIGHT SPOTS, HEART SHAPED LIPS CURLING INTO A DEVILISH SMILE, THE FEELING OF A PIANO PLAYING EERILY IN THE ROOM NEXT DOOR. of all the social media platforms, they’re definitely most obsessed with their INSTAGRAM; probably because they’re ELOQUENT, but also MANIPULATIVE. however, on the new manifest app in mr. carlos’ english class, they’ve already managed to anonymously steal the username: BLOODLUST. 

ALSO   !   if u want a better look at him, u can check out his pinterest board here  ( follow me too that’d be so sexy of u )   ! 

information.

i’m gonna just do this in bullet points bc i’m lazy and have had a really long week so if it’s choppy.... i am so sorry u are just gonna have to deal w it KMSKSMK

seulki was born in seoul, south korea to a kang insoo, a wizard man, and kim eunbin, a vampire woman, seulki himself being her first born

he doesn’t remember much of his own father, the only image he has of him is his bloodied corpse after his mother ripped his throat out when he was five years old

she was a cruel woman is what he had learned from that moment on

most half-breeds are misunderstood creatures, but the kim line of vampires were the monsters they told u abt in horror stories, the ones that hid under ur bed and took u from ur room in the depths of the night

being descendants of vlad the impaler, yes he really was a vampire!, had death and destruction lacing through their veins, darkness and deceit wrapping around their bodies

growing up, he watched his mother give birth to three more children, all of which were full fledged vampires, unlike himself

at first, he never let it bother him, he was raised up to be a vampire, to let the magic gene within him go dormant. he fed off humans and shed the blood of other’s with the influence of his mother, but even being her puppet was never enough for her

secretly, she had always resented her falling in love with a wizard, a human, someone that wasn’t of their own kind. because she did actually fall in love with him, only to be blindsided by her own family, a powerful clan of vampires pulling who she was and who she had always been out of her

because of the resentment matted in between her bones, the anger and frustration of her family ruining her life, of insoo ruining her life, she began to see the human traits within seulki even more often than not, creating a drift and a barrier between the two of them

seulki was the eldest brother, the one who took it upon himself to help raise them, to protect them, to never let their bright souls be diminished by the thought that they were monsters. they loved him and he loved them, but his mother didn’t like that

she didn’t like how they cared for each other because they cared for each other  more than they cared for her. she was selfish, wanting the love she never was able to receive, wanted to feel smth for all that she didn’t

his mother hadn’t been fond of him for a while, only using him to do her bidding and while him and his siblings got closer and closer, she got angrier, knowing that they were each others’ heartbeats and she wasn’t included in that

so because of her selfish and deranged nature, she wanted to eliminate her younger children to cause torment to seulki. ganging up on the children one night with the intent to kill them, but she didn’t get as far as she wanted to

she severely injured her second oldest, giving a few scratches the the other’s before seulki came in, eyes black and charging towards his mother. it was a bloodbath after that, the two youngest pulling their sister to safety as they called for seulki

their cries and calls snapped him out of his loss of humanity and in front of him was his injured, but not dead mother unconscious. it was then that he took his chance, packing whatever he could that was valuable and fled with his siblings

they spent time spent a long time running, bouncing from city to city more bloodshed falling onto seulki’s hands to protect the only people he held dear to him and he would do anything for them.

he struggled a lot actually with maintaining his humanity as it would slip from time to time due to the trauma even if he had his siblings to tether him down. at some point, seulki, while strong, felt himself getting exhausted from being on the run and it was when they’d found themselves in scotland being found by hagrid of all people offering seulki a place at hogwarts and his siblings a place in his hut

at first, seulki declined, not fully trusting the man with his siblings even though he would be right in the castle near by. but, after some thought and the push of the second oldest, they accepted the offer and seulki’s been attending hogwarts since he was eighteen and his siblings have found a residence with hagrid

tidbits.

he ages like a normal human up until he’s twenty-one when he quits aging and begins the phase of immortality.

seulki can and will drink blood to survive, but if he goes without it it’s not detrimental to him until he quits aging altogether which means he can eat regular food, he actually quite enjoys it.

he has fangs, he can go out into sunlight, but not for an excessive amount of time or he’ll get a rash. seulki does have inhuman speed and strength, but nothing overpowering u know? when he loses his humanity, his eyes go full black and when the vampire takes him over, his eyes are red, and his regular eye color is brown.

losing his humanity means he loses his heartbeat, most of the time either due to losing the things or people that make his heart beat or from intense and severe anger or negative emotions such as the like. though, it can be voluntarily done as well by switching it off  ( kind of like tvd . . . fucking disgusting ). but, seulki being only half-vampire has an easier time, unlike his siblings, to regain his heartbeat back and for his humanity to fluctuate when it’s lost because of his human side. his siblings are his heartbeats actually, so that’s where the intense need to protect them comes from as well as just being their brother.

seulki is a Big Bi   !   loves it fucking all.

he’s not super great at magic since his magic gene was pretty dormant until he came to hogwarts, so he’s pretty much just skirting by at this point.

his siblings mean the world to him, he would do absolutely anything for them and wouldn’t let a single person harm a hair on their heads. but   !   no one knows they exist, though i’m sure if there were special people in his life they might   !

while he sleeps around a lot . . . he’s a secret romantic. he’s always wanted to find love, but it way too terrified of it. 

oh yeah he has a blood kink............ that’s important ig

personality.

seulki is definitely an interesting person. he’s wise and intelligent, having been through a lot in his life. he’s eloquent and good with his words, most would call him honey-tongued because of how he can persuade almost anyone to do what he says. seulki is kind of a dick or well, like a suave dick. he’s charming and flirty, his signature is a smirk and like arms crossed as he leans against a doorway u know? seulki is uh. how do i put this? kind of a whore. he doesn’t tend to care about others which is deep rooted in the fact that he’s never felt real love . . . his own mother hated him to the core. he’s overprotective of the people he cares about and will do absolutely anything for them. he’s an ass if i didn’t mention that before, it’s to protect himself and his siblings from ever being hurt again because he’s so terrified of letting people in for them to just tear him down in the process. he’s guarded and u never know what he’s thinking because he doesn’t show it on his face or let u know. UH I DON’T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY MY BRAIN DOESN’T WORK............ he’s p manipulative............. uh he cares a lot. but deep down and he doesn’t want ppl to know that........... he’s definitely a Big Brother type when he cares abt u, makes sure u’ve eaten, makes sure ur warm and are comfortable....... yeah idk that’s it i’m done

wanted plots.

A HEARTBEAT   !   — whether platonic or romantic, this would be someone who, just like seulki’s siblings, makes his heart beat thus keeping his humanity in check, they would be a WHOLE, WHOLE lot to him. 

A TUTOR   !   — as i mentioned earlier, seulki isn’t super well versed when it comes to magic, he’s not very good at it and it’s hard for him to navigate sometimes, so having someone to help him get his mf grades up would be lovely !

AN EX   !   — obviously, this didn’t go down well because seulki is terrified of commitment and people getting close to him. it could play out in so many ways, so if it sparks ur interest we can chat !

A ROOMMATE   !   — so which sucker is gonna have to live with the vampire who has a blood kink ?

A BEST FRIEND   !   — obviously this is pretty self explanatory, this would be someone that seulki trusts with probably his life and they mean a lot to him, even if he’s bad at showing it.

LOVE/HATE   !   — bruh give me that good shit. these two can’t stand each other, but because of that it’s formed some sort of fondness where if anyone is messing with the other they’re like who tf are u that’s my job   !

A BAD INFLUENCE / GOOD INFLUENCE   !   — self explantory . . . someone be a good influence for seulki and let him be a bad influence for someone else.

AN UNREQUITED CRUSH   !   — my friend gave me the idea to maybe have someone have a cute little crush on seulki . . . and i was like but that’s SO sad........ then i was like u know what i love pain so here we are........ also could be requited we shall see   !

FUCK BUDDIES, FRIENDS/ENEMIES WITH BENEFITS, FLINGS   !   — i’m just getting lazy at this point to explain this shit . . . fuck him, let him fuck u he’s a true vers my friends.

OTHERS   !   — cuddle buddy, old friends, confidant, rivals, skinny love, annoyances, a brother/sister type of relationship, and if there’s anything else we can just vibe   !   tbh we don’t even have to do anything from this list, whatever fits the muses, these are just ideas   !

[bleedingracquets]

You said you can make it stupid and ramble so Imma challenge you to the yakuza!hoshi (jk write it however you wanna

AU’s are beautiful and I love them. Send me more shit.

Yakuza AU’s? Damn that’s fucking, wild jim. Holy shit. I love it hello yello I am all for this hell fuckin yeah. You know what tho, I’m gunna do it my way b/c I am filthy garbage and I hate myself BING BONG DAB EMOJIThey’re under a read more because I ramble like a little bitch and no one should be forced to read this utter mess.

🔪 So Hoshi’s mafia has dragon and star motifs b/c it’s literally his name (we don’t talk about the horses in this good Pastanafarian household thank you very much that and horse motifs are v hard to make look cool and edgy b/c oma looks like a dweeb more news at 5). So his beautiful tattoos are done by his Horishi (tattoo artist v/ old fashioned and needle master), who I wanna believe deep down in my rotten disgusting soul is Tsumewgi b/c needle aesthetics :tm: tattoo artist Tsumuwugu when, but is actually just one of his close friends. But back on topic, his back has a lot of scars and tattoos around those scars, because he’s a bit of a show-off and he went through a lot so he’s gunna be a rad bitch:tm: and show his scars as awesomely as possible, all in star and dragon motifs. They’re mostly black and white, but he does have hints of blues in there as well, as black white and blue are the gang’s main colors. Cats are a slightly less important, but still prominent symbol as well, as those are the symbols worn by the Kyodai (older brothers), while the Kobun (apprentices / younger brothers) tend to have a single star. Hoshi’s back in particular, has a dragon, a large star w/ many many smaller stars around it, cats and lots of just other more abstract designs, because he told the Horishi to get creative and get creative they did. Maybe I’ll draw it later or smth hell if I know.

🔪 Now how he became the head of the yakuza, is interesting. Because here, it all started by being just, a punk ass kid honestly. Junior high was a wild time for him, and he wasn’t born into a family-brand Yakuza, he was offered to join in by... let’s just say a close friend whomst family was the Yakuza he joined into. So, his life was normal and plain, and he kinda just.. wanted to be a bad boy:tm: that’s really it. So he ditched his family, and went to join the Yakuza. The Yakuza, became his family really. He preformed the ceremonies, and did what he was told. Yet, he was just greedy. Greedy because he wanted more, yes yes! Much much more! So, he started to climb from the bottom to reach where he wanted to be, which was the top. So it just became a matter of getting there. And he worked hard, and hard, but no matter what, well... nothing kept him from gaining any higher status than a Kyodai, since the rest of the upper ranks were more, family-born requirements he just didn’t fill. So, whilst the others were out and about doing their jobs, Hoshi went to the building once again, and slaughtered all of the higher ups. Every single one, minus his friend. Now his friend isn’t dumb, and while his whole family got murdered, the Yakuza itself was his family, much like the situation he provided for Hoshi himself back before. So Hoshi became the Oyabun (or boss) of the yakuza after his friend swore loyalty to him and they drank to it. V sappy stuff.From there, Hoshi built it up with people he could trust, no longer listening to the higher ups that once led the family before him. He runs a crime organization, a very tiny independent one but a tiny one nonetheless which he’s trying to build the reputation up oh ye.

🔪 Hoshi still had a girlfriend here! It was, well, a very bad relationship considering how quick it fell (and considering he was the one that killed her but shhh) but, for a while, she was the ane-san (big sister) of the organization. Anything that Hoshi wasn’t around to do, she took care of instead. His gf here was japanese, rather tall, and had long af hair like damn i’ll draw her one day but hoo boy Hoshi likes tall women more news @ ten. She kicked ass tho, and she got taken out because of infighting that she would cause l o l. So he got tired of her shit and she can’t just leAVE BECAUSE COMMON SENSE WOULD PERTAIN SHE KNOWS ALL THEIR SECRETS AND SHIT SO bye hunie sorry I don’t make the rules.

🔪 This one is lame, but he’s a BIT of an alcoholic. Just a little. He perhaps likes Sake, a little too much for someone his age, and he believes that bonds are really important when made over sake. Sakazuki (sake sharing) is practiced often already in Yakuza even now, despite looking formal and old at most weddings, but Hoshi practices that shit like holy fuck. Hell he just drinks. Has prolly developed a problem that no one will address him about because he’s the boss obviously. That being said fancy trips to bathhouses and loud af parties are also present, although he does get shit done. He’s a party-hard loser bitch but he still holds that strict af authority that has that fear into others. 

🔪 Hoshi’s yakuza specializes in organ sales. Lots of, fine ol gore and guts, he likes having a bunch of gross murders and stuff b/c he’s edgy and a loser that doesn’t know how else to express himself. That being said, he makes sure not to damage fine product? Like, gotta keep them bills paid somehow. And that’s through the black market w/ women’s hands and shit. Women are usually found from brothels, some old, mostly younger ones just starting, ouch. Men are targeted for their other organs and shit, and he does a lot of stuff hands on himself despite not being supposed to (but fuck you he does what he wants) so he’s just this edgy ass kid that has no social skills playing w/ guts and shit b/c his life choices and decision making skills suck ass. Hoshi in a shell nut.

🔪 Now I’m a gross weirdo so bonus I like to add how others interact w/ Hoshi? any possible interactions? Lol yeah u fuck I’m implying that DICE are pussies and Hoshi is totes ready to pick fights w/ Oma’s petty ass for drawing oveR HIS SHIT YOU LITTLE CLOWN ASS H O. But legit shit thinking abt it like, ooo how would he interact w/ Angielino? Perhaps she and him converse of ways to rule over a group of ppl, albeit Angine’s is under religion and his is under regime and shit, or maybe Kaitotototo as the Assassin (eyes @ u Drac bby never forget) and maybe there’s some rivalry shit goin on there. Ah yeah man so many possibilities. I just? Nut at the possibilities. 

[fangirlmiv]

Ardyn x Gentiana

Word count: 1210.

Rating: G (nothing x-rated going on, but Gentiana is a teenager here. It might trigger some ppl)

This pairing has been growing on, partly because it’s so delightfully fucked up. I’m playing around with a few ideas I have for an AU, which is pretty angsty and wordy. 

Silver earrings

The girl had been wearing silver earrings. Simple, round hoops that were displayed in a glass-fronted case next to the exhibit.

Gentiana didn’t know why she felt so sad, looking at the earrings. They had been at the museum for more than an hour already, learning about how the city of Solheim had been destroyed and the inhabitants choked by ash and buried in boiling mud, alive no less! The heat had been so great that they had simply evaporated or something, leaving only a kind of shell that the museum-people had filled with plaster and made casts of the dead people. It was kinda gross, but in a good way, an exciting way, but now, after having looked at so many lumps, and heard the guide drone on and on, the excitement had worn away.

So why did she feel so sad now? Gentiana looked again at the white form of the girl. She was curled up next to two women, that must have been her mother and maybe grandmother, and Gentiana imagined that her eyes must have been closed and her face terrified, though it was impossible to tell from the cast. Detailed features were not preserved, and Gentiana was happy for that. For some reason the idea of looking at the girl’s terrified expression as she died made her feel strange. Suddenly she felt queasy. The air in the room was hotter, like in a sauna, and her mouth felt like it was filled with something burning. She coughed, frantically brushing at her mouth. There was nothing, she even stuck a finger into her mouth, but still she could not breathe, and her skin was scorching.

She tried frantically to suck in air, and looked around desperately. Her class-mates had moved along, with the teacher and the guide, while she had been looking at the earrings, and no-one else was in around.

She tried to call out, but no sound came from her parched mouth. Gasping, she stumbled forward, and crashed into something. Falling to the ground, she didn’t notice it was a person, before a hand was put on her shoulder, and a voice said something she didn’t comprehend. Suddenly, the burning, choking sensation was gone, and she could breath again.

Desperately, she sucked down air. Never had anything felt better than the stuffy air of the museum filling her lungs.

“Are you feeling better now?” A soft voice spoke above her, and she raised her head, almost reluctantly. And looked up into the face of a tall man with reddish hair. He looked friendly, but there was something about him that made Gentiana weary. Maybe it was the weird hat he wore. Otherwise, he was dressed in a dark suit, no tie, and looked like some official person.

Gentiana scrambled to her feet. The overwhelming feelings were receding fast, leaving only a strange, faded memory. Had it really happened?

“So - sorry,” she stammered, smoothing down her clothes and hair.

“The displays can be overwhelming,” the man said mildly.

“Hello there, my name is Ardyn Izunia, museum director. Delighted to make your acquaintance.”

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Izunia. My name is Gentiana,” Gentiana replied without thinking, her natural courtesy winning through her confusion.

“Gentiana,” the man repeated. “What a lovely name. Do you know that it is of Solheim origin? Actually, one of the poor souls in the display might have carried that very name.” He turned to look at Gentiana, and his gaze was both inquisitive and intense, and she fidgeted under his scrutiny.

“That’s kinda sad,” she said, looking down upon the lifeless forms.

“Imagine their sufferings,” Mr. Izunia said, “how they died desperately hoping for salvation, fear filling their hearts that to bursting. How truly sad that they did not know that death is not the end.”

Gentiana frowned.

“Do you mean reincarnation?” she said tentatively. It was weird to hear a museum director talk about stuff like that.

“Oh, no, certainly not such whimsical terms. What I refer to is as set in stone as the law of gravity. It is the undeniable fact that there are souls which are doomed – perhaps a too strong word – but the outcome is the same. There are souls that are bound to this world like corpses held down by chains and weights, forever prevented from floating to freedom as long as the chains exists.” The man rubbed his chin and then looked whimsically at Gentiana.

“But it is the biggest joke of all that the we created the weights ourselves, such a tangled mess we make.” He regarded her intensely. Gentiana fidgeted under the scrutiny. She was rationally aware that this Mr. Izunia was not behaving like any adult she had ever met before, but she was not put off. She knew she should be, but she was not. His words fascinated her, even if she didn’t understand what he meant.

“Is it such a far-fetched thing to imagine that we might have burned so many years ago? That we might have experienced such pain that the memory cannot be completely erased, that it will bubble up like gasses as we struggle against our bonds?

Such suffering, all caused by selfish desire. Is that not a fine joke?”

He didn’t laugh, and his eyes were suddenly so sad that Gentiana found it hard to breathe, but for entirely different reasons than before.

“Ardyn,” she whispered, her voice hitching.

She reached out, stroking his hand, and he shuddered.

“I failed you, beloved,” he moaned, withdrawing his hand, out of her reach.

Suddenly, it came to her that she had once been able to look him in the eye. She had been taller, more graceful, and full of power.

“I wanted to save you, and I could not. You suffered because of my weakness. I should have strangled you myself when Ifrit’s let his rage out.”

“It would have lessened my suffering, but not your guilt, my love,” she said with conviction. Because that was what he was. He was a part of her as integral as her heart and guts.

She had died in that warehouse, choked to death by burning ash and lethal gasses, covered in boiling mud as the roof burned to cinders. She had died wearing the earrings he had given her just days before, on her initiation as a maiden priestess of Shiva. Silver for the Icy Goddess.

She had died, and yet here she was, phone in her pocket and wanting to touch the face of an unknown man.

“Such pain,” she whispered. “Will it ever end?”

He fell to his knees in front of her, and she reached out and touched the lock of his hair that pushed out from under his ridiculous hat. It was as soft as it had been yesterday and decades and millennia ago. Because now she recalls, as the patina deposited by the merciless river of time, that this is not the first time since the burning that they have met, and that even that traumatic event might not be the beginning of their intertwined story.

“And what will happen to us, the ruins of the old world?” she whispers.

He leans into her touch with a sigh.

“We endure,” he replies.

[padfootdidit]

burn through my soul

a  fyre festival au because i have 0 chill, set in the ‘marble hearts collide’ universe bc ria asked for like an 80k companion fic, and because 36 of you seemed to like the idea. basically: it’s half fyre and half ust denial jily and a Big Mess.

for @gxldentrio @petalstofish who asked for more and @fredweasleying who supports james and sirius’ stupidity

most of my info is off the snapchat stories, articles and tweets but i’ve also done a lot of exaggerating, so take all reference to the festival with a bit of salt

It’s Sirius’ idea because, if it involves a stupid waste of money and the promise of celebrity chefs, it will always be his idea. And, because it’s Sirius’ idea, James is in. 

“It’s ridiculous,” Lily says, scrolling through the festival’s instagram. 

“No, it’s luxury,” Sirius says and snatches his phone back, “you wouldn’t understand.”

Remus raises an eyebrow, “she practically lives with you, I think she understands what luxury is.”

“And waste of money,” Peter adds, helpfully. 

“I can’t believe I let any of you into my house, when you’ve just come to insult me!” Sirius pouts, throwing himself dramatically back on the chaise. 

“Criticise your money spending habits,” Remus corrects, and just manages to dodge a throw pillow Sirius launches at him. 

‘What does Potter think, anyway?” Lily asks, looking down at her own phone. 

“Why does Potter’s opinion matter?” Sirius retorts. 

Lily is definitely avoiding eye contact, “It doesn’t.”

There’s a murmur of disbelief, and Lily scowls at her phone, knowing that if she looks up she’ll be accosted by five raised eyebrows, because only Sirius has learnt how to raise both separately. 

“But, seriously, when is Prongs back?”

“Well, Moony, funny you should ask...” Sirius smirks, “he arrived last night.”

Lily’s head shoots up, “but -”

“But what Evans, not happy to see me?” A voice comes from the doorway, and they all turn to see James leaning, not as gracefully as Sirius would have, against the doorjamb with a smirk to match Sirius’ on his face. 

“How long have you guys been planning that?” Peter asks, and he’s not as fast as Remus so a throw pillow hits him in the stomach.

Remus laughs, “probably longer than they’ve been planning this festival bullshit.” 

“Losers,” Lily mutters, finally looking away from James, pretending that her phone screen is more interesting than the bit of chest his loosely tied dressing gown shows. 

James Potter to lily evans’ home for peculiar children: we made it to the airport folks

Remus Lupin: shame

Sirius Black: fight me bitch

Lily Evans: we thought ur chauffeur might crash on purpose 

James Potter: why would he do that???

Sirius Black: i dont have a chauffeur

Sirius Black: i have wesley

Peter Pettigrew: who is a chauffeur

Sirius Black: no he’s my driver

Remus Lupin: difference?

James Potter: more importantly tho

James Potter: he would never crash on purpose

Lily Evans: he would if he thought it might shut u up

Sirius Black: y would anyone want to shut us up

James Potter: yeah

Sirius Black: thanks bro

James Potter: i got ur back bro dw

Remus Lupin removed Sirius Black from the group

Remus Lupin removed James Potter from the group

Lily Evans changed Remus Lupin’s nickname to our lord and saviour

“Do you think they’re there yet?” Lily says, watching Remus as he methodically searches through Sirius’ drinks tray. 

“I think we would know if they were,” Peter answers drily. 

Remus pauses to inspect a label closely, “Pete’s right, we’ll know.”

“Missing them already?” 

“Fuck off,” Lily scowls, “just want to ask Sirius his netflix password.”

“You don’t know already?” Remus says at the same time Peter says, “bitchbetterhavemymoney, capital B.”

Lily frowns, “he told you? He doesn’t tell anyone.”

“Correction, he told James, and it’s way easier to bribe James than Sirius,” Peter smiles triumphantly. 

“I swear you use it all the time? Remus asks, setting down the bottle in favour for a shorter, fatter one. 

“He logs in for me and then makes me log off afterwards,” Lily says, rolling her eyes. 

“Here we go,” Remus stands, presenting a bottle of scotch to Peter and Lily, who are cuddled up together beneath a blanket on the sofa, and grins, “the most expensive bottle.”

“Are you sure?”

“Because, last time you said it was and then he came back and told us it was only his third most expensive one and -”

“I’m sure,” Remus says, interrupting Lily. “Not only is it the most expensive bottle on the living room’s tray,” he gestures around the room they’re in, “it’s also more expensive than anything in the drawing room.”

Lily Evans to ovaries before madame brovary: remus found it

Lily Evans: party @ 10

Mary MacDonald: should i bring snacks

Gemma Jones: ahhahaha gd one

Mary MacDonald: thank you <33

Lily Evans: he’s put a padlock on the chocolate cupboard but the pantry is full

Marlene McKinnon: I can’t believe we know someone who has a pantry

Lily Evans: shameful isn’t it

James Potter changed the group name to WASSUUUUUP

Sirius Black: blocked

James Potter: u said u liked it???

Sirius Black: yh i lied

James Potter: fight me bitch

Peter Pettigrew: ur plane didn’t crash then

James Potter: landed safe and sound

Remus Lupin: shame

Lily Evans: have they showered u in gold bars yet

Peter Pettigrew: have they got a red carpet for u all

Remus Lupin: are all the other rich ppl as rich as u

Lily Evans: have u had a competition to see whos richest

Peter Pettigrew: i bet the toilet had tenner notes for paper

Remus Lupin: more like fifties

James Potter: u all suck

Sirius Black: they’re just jealous bb 

Lily Evans: but srsly

Lily Evans: what’s it like

James Potter: amazing 

Sirius Black: the beach is beautiful the people are beautiful the tents are beautiful

James Potter: it’s like a rich persons dream

Remus Lupin: u, as a rich person, cannot make rich ppl jokes

Lily Evans: ***rich bitch

Lily Evans: check ur privilege potter

Sirius Black: says the white girl

James Potter: checkmate

Lily Evans: point 

Peter Pettigrew: have u seen a jenner yet

Remus Lupin: is the only available beverage pepsi

Lily Evans: ^^^the real question

Sirius Black: WHY THE FUCK DID MCKINNON JUST SEND ME A SNAPCHAT OF HER IN MY BATH

Peter Pettigrew: i’ll ask her

Peter Pettigrew: she says it was for the vine

Sirius Black: WHY THE FUCK IS SHE IN MY BATH

Sirius Black: GET HER OUT OF MY BATH

Sirius Black: u r having another party aren’t u ohMYGOD

Lily Evans: brb

Remus Lupin: idk i can’t read suddenly

Peter Pettigrew: gtg sorry bye

Sirius Black: TRAITORS

“What if James finds, like an heiress though? What are you going to do then?” Tegan asks, leaning so far across the table Lily can see down her shirt. 

“Potter can do what he wants,” Lily shrugs, “why do I care?” 

“Because you’re in love with him,” Marlene says, high-fiving Mary. 

Lily downs the rest of her wine glass, “factually incorrect.” Factually incorrect meaning unwilling to admit the truth. 

Gemma shakes her head, “how could you not be in love with him?”

“Very easily,” Lily snatches the bottle from Mary’s hand and pours herself another drop. Drop meaning entire glass. “It’s like this,” she pauses to take a sip, “you guys are projecting your fantasies on to me-”

“Oh, no no no!” She’s drowned out by cries of protest and drinks the rest of her glass as a distraction. Drinking red wine is so easy when she’s already drunk.

Thankfully, she’s saved from any more discussion about a particular black haired man by Peter sprinting in the room, skidding to a halt with his phone held out in front of him, “Have you seen this?”

Fyre Festival Goes Up in Flames

The luxury beach festival due to be held this weekend in the Bahamas has begun but, unlike the promotional videos, there is nothing luxury about it. Festival goers who arrived early have been reporting rabid dogs, empty tents, and not a single celebrity in sight. 

Snapchat videos and tweets show people arriving to what some have described as the ‘season finale of the Walking Dead’. Inside the tents, which are being fought over as we speak, empty mattresses and tables which look like they’re from IKEA are stand ins for the promised ‘5 star accommodation’. Since festival go-oers paid between $2,000 and $12,000 for this, it’s understandable that they’re annoyed.

Reportedly, celebrities who promoted the festival, such as the Jenner sisters, Bella Hadid and other supermodels/quasi-celebrities, were warned not to attend in advance of the festival. 

Lily Evans to the lord of the flies just got Real: hahahahhahahahahaahhahah

Remus Lupin: anything u want to tell us lads

Peter Pettigrew: we kno that u r online

James Potter: what are u talking about

Remus Lupin: “”””the beach is beautiful the people are beautiful the tents are beautiful”””””

Lily Evans: http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/39743303/luxury-fyre-festival-is-cancelled-with-ticket-holders-still-stranded-in-bahamas

Sirius Black: technically

Sirius Black: i only lied abt the tents

Lily Evans: firstly...... are u guys okay?

James Potter: yh

James Potter: pissed off n hungry but yh

Sirius Black: i’m gonna sue

Lily Evans: secondly

Lily Evans: ahahahahahhahhahah

Peter Pettigrew: what a scam

Sirius Black: they lost my gucci suitcase

Remus Lupin: shame

Sirius Black removed Remus Lupin from the group

Peter Pettigrew: are u gonna start eating each other

Lily Evans added Remus Lupin to the group

Lily Evans: r they dividing u into groups to fight to the death

Sirius Black left the group

The thing is, Lily isn’t in love with James. She knows what love looks like. Her parents were in love, Petunia loves Vernon (not that Lily understands why), Frank and Alice are in love, Marlene and Tegan are in love. She has seen love. It’s holding hands and forehead kisses and long trips away to the beach and getting a dog together and sharing interests and watching tv all day in pyjamas and sharing bank accounts and smiling when the other person isn’t looking and wanting to spend the rest of your life together and having inside jokes and knowing as much as possible about the other person and knowing that no matter what you’re always safe with them. 

And sure, she and Potter have a lot of inside jokes, but she has a lot of inside jokes with Peter too. And sure, they’ve spent all day watching tv together, but never on the same piece of furniture. And sure, if she needs help she goes to Potter, and if she’s sad she rings him, and if she sees a funny otter video she sends it to him, but that’s how it’s always been, and sometimes she goes to Sirius too. Plus, they don’t have a puppy together and Lily is pretty certain they’ve never held hands. So, really, she can’t be in love with James.

The conclusion is a good one, Lily thinks as she finishes her third glass of wine (third really meaning ninth) and allows herself to pay attention to the others again. It’s difficult to play charades when she’s distracted by the thought of being in love with James Potter, but now she’s cleared that one up, it’s easy to guess that Remus is acting out National Treasure 2. 

Sirius Black to Lily Evans: u better not let anyone in my bedroom

Lily Evans: locked

LIly Evans: dw

Sirius Black: stop having parties w/out me

Lily Evans: stop locking away all the good booze when we have parties w u

Sirius Black: point

Peter Pettigrew to mckinnon just threw up in the bathtub: hows the prison food

Sirius Black: did mckinnon acc throw up in the bathtub????

Sirius Black: which one

Sirius Black: the red room?? downstairs guest ensuite?? MINE??!1?

James Potter: better than evans’ cooking

Sirius Black: wHICH BATHTUB

Remus Lupin: lily would like to say that “””if i had any energy to waste in replying to potters insult then i would remind him that euphemia said i was a better cook that him””””

Sirius Black: pSTOP IGROING ME

From: jamesfpotter@sleekeazy.org.uk

To: euphemiapotter@sleekeazy.org.uk

Subject: Betrayal

Dear Mother,

Evans told me that you said she was a better cook than me. Just emailing to check that you would never betray me like this.

Love, 

Your son,

James

Sent from my iPhone

From: euphemiapotter@sleekeazy.org.uk

To: jamesfpotter@sleekeazy.org.uk

Subject: RE: Betrayal

James darling, 

Please don’t use the company’s email for personal matters, you know it annoys everyone.

Lily’s cooking is a delight. It’s not a betrayal if it’s a fact. 

Love,

Mother

P.S Your father told me that festival you’re at turned out to be a bit of a disaster. Are you planning on coming home?

Lily Evans to James Potter: i CANNOT believe u emailed ur mym

Lily Evans: acc i take that back

Lily Evans: I CAN U LOSER

James Potter: u r durnk

Lily Evans: n u arent?????

James Potter: ppl r looting

James Potter: kinda scary shit

Lily Evans: dont let any1 steal sirius

Lily Evans: hed go for a Lot on the black market

Lily Evans: aahahaah

Lily Evans: brb gptta share my pun w// the group

James Potter: we’ve booked a flight for tomorrow afternoon

James Potter: gun get wasted on beach tomox

Lily Evans: legendz

James Potter: didnt cum to the bahamas not to get a tan

Lily Evans: cum ha

Lily Evans:  u r permanentnly tanned?????

James Potter: ik

James Potter: just wanted to remind u that im in the bahamas n u r not

Lily Evans: blocked

Marlene and Tegan get the downstairs guest room, Remus and Peter crash in the extension Sirius constantly denies he added so they could have their own rooms, Mary and Gemma take the upstairs guest room which Lily usually sleeps in, which means Lily is left with five choices. She could share with Mary and Gemma because it’s a king sized bed, but Gemma snores. She could sleep in one of the other two guest rooms, but she’s pretty sure one of them is haunted, and the other one has a broken bed from when Alice and Frank stayed around last week. Which leaves her with Potter’s room. Unless she really wants to picklock Sirius’ and risk facing his wrath.

It’s an easy choice really. Potter’s room is sans snoring, sans ghost and sans broken bed. Lily nods to herself, and walks up the staircase, waving a middle finger at Mary and Gemma when she passes their open door. The gits. 

Potter isn’t even here. It’s not like she’s sharing a bed with him. 

Lily shivers at the thought.

She shuts the door behind her and climbs into the bed, definitely not looking at the millions of framed photographs he has on his bedside table. One of him and the boys back at boarding school, arms looped around each other, smiles wide. Mary had taken that one, the day they all finished their GCSEs. One of him and his parents, at their vow renewal service, James and Fleamont towering over Euphemia. One of him and a bunch of kids all sat on a hospital bed, a sign above the bed saying ‘thank you!’. One of him with Graham Norton, both looking too excited. One of him and Sirius, young, really young, looking almost identical. One of him and all of them, taken by Euphemia at his twenty first birthday party, just before Remus threw up all over everyone’s shoes. One of him and -

Lily squints, leaning out of the bed to look at the one tucked away at the back, almost hidden. Fuck, it’s her. It’s them. She remembers it. It meaning the moment that landed them in seven gossip magazine, too many online columns, and one list of the hottest couples this month. It was one of his charity balls, for mental illness she remembers, one filled with celebrities and champagne trays and tiny snacks which would never satisfy any normal human being. 

They’re standing on a balcony, London spread out before them. They hadn’t noticed a photographer, or anyone, because they’d been too busy discussing the pros and cons of making a rope out of Lily’s dress to escape. Potter had suggested tying it to the balcony, climbing down and hailing a cab. He was kidding of course, because he loved these things, because it meant he got to talk about all the causes he loved and everyone had to at least pretend they were listening or their photograph would be splashed beneath a headline which read ‘B List Celebrity Hates Kids’, depending on which cause the ball was for that month. 

But Lily, Lily who had grown up in a mining village and worked for every penny she had, still wasn’t used to these balls even after five years of them. She loved the glamour and she could pull off confidence easily, she just didn’t like that she could never tell if people actually cared or not. 

So Potter, ever kind, had gone along with her escape plan, coming up with more pros then even she could manage. Then the flash had gone off and they’d jumped, quickly returning inside because James had to make a speech. Or something. 

The photograph hadn’t captured their shock though. It had caught her laughing, bright and full, and him smiling, kind and soft, and really, they did look like a couple. They were standing too close, looking too happy to not. Except they weren’t, and the group had had to spend the next three weeks batting away reporters about who was the stunning red head who had captured humanitarian James Potter’s heart. Then it had died down, and everyone had forgotten about the picture, even Lily.

It shocks her that it’s there, on his bedside table. Makes something burst in her chest, a rogue party popper. 

So, instead of confronting all the thoughts that pop into her when she sees the picture, like a rational adult, she rolls over, buries beneath the silk sheets and promptly goes to sleep.

James Potter to can someone tell me which bathtub please??: so someone recognised sirius

James Potter: so now he’s trying to make a raft

James Potter: out of his remaining gucci luggage

Remus Lupin: let me know if he drowns

James Potter: why is no one recognising me

James Potter: my achievements way out rank his

Peter Pettigrew: yh but you’re not a black

Peter Pettigrew: n u’ve never been in a commercial for toothpaste

James Potter: im a potter tho

Remus Lupin: plus u’ve never been pictured naked in the sun

James Potter: point

Lily Evans: shhhh stop buxxing my phone

James Potter: mary told me u were sleeping in my bed

James Potter: u better not have chundered in there

Lily Evans: brb gtg kill mary

James Potter sent a video.

James Potter: if u evr wanted to kno what sirius screams sound like when he gets his hair wet

Remus Lupin: did he fall in??

James Potter: some tit capsized him

Remus Lupin: brilliant

@DailyProphet The Daily Prophet

[30/04] Pictured: minor celebrities, James Potter and Sirius Black, are among first to leave Fyre Festival, boarding a flight back to England this afternoon.

Remus Lupin to which fucking bathtub was it: have you heard the news?

Remus Lupin changed Sirius Black’s nickname to minor celebrity.

minor celebrity: blocked

Lily Evans to Remus Lupin: did u get the banner yet

Remus Lupin: i cant believe we r throwing them a welcome home party

Remus Lupin: they were gone for like three days

Lily Evans: but they survived a disaster remus

Lily Evans: a disaster™

Lily Evans: a travesty™

Remus Lupin:  i got the banner

Remus Lupin: what r we adding to it

Lily Evans: i want it to read ‘welcome home minor celebrities’

Remus Lupin: padfoot is never gonna let u in his house again

Lily Evans: we both know that isn’t true

Remus Lupin: point

James Potter to it was all the bathtubs: we landed safely

Remus Lupin: shame

Peter Pettigrew: u better have bought us some souvenirs 

James Potter: does duty free count

Peter Pettigrew: blocked

“Surprise!” They all yell, as James and Sirius step through the door, their bags brought in moments later by Wesley. James jumps, looking satisfyingly surprised, whereas Sirius just scowls and turns to help Wesley with the remaining suitcases. Clearly, their antics were old by now.

“Here are your disaster survival kits,” Tegan says, offering them two first aid kits which Peter had filled with tiny vodka bottles, rape whistles and Finding Nemo water proof plasters. James accepts both, Sirius just leading Wesley through to the kitchen. 

It’s not long before they’re all at least tipsy again, Sirius having finished his temper tantrum over a) the amount of booze they drank and b) the fact that McKinnon had never actually thrown up in a bathtub at all. Lily finds it especially easy to get drunk, probably because she starts drinking whenever James tries to talk to her. 

She’s not sure why, but she suspects it has something to do with the photograph. The photograph which she keeps seeing in her head, framed next to his bed. So, every time he comes near her, she brings her glass or bottle to her mouth and refuses to make eye contact.

A successful technique with Potter, but no one else and it isn’t long before Sirius has her cornered, having spotted her new found avoidance scheme. 

“You throw us a party, but won’t even talk to one of the special guests,” he says, swirling his scotch around the glass, “would you care to comment?”

“I prefer A-listers to minor celebrities,” she says before she can think of anything else, and because she knows Sirius is still sore about it.

“If you would just stop, and listen to one of us, you know you’d be so much happier,” he sighs. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Lily says, and promptly turns her back on him. 

James Potter to Lily Evans: mum wants to know if you’re coming over for sunday lunch

Lily Evans: when dont i

James Potter: point

Lily Evans: u recovered from ur traumatic time yet

James Potter: not sure

James Potter: thinking of setting up a charity for everyone who went

Lily Evans: omg ive got a rlly good name for it!!

Lily Evans: trust fund

Lily Evans: oh wait..........

@DailyProphet The Daily Prophet

[01/05] We would like to apologise to anyone who may have found insult in one of yesterday’s tweets concerning the Fyre Festival. A redaction has now been approved: “Pictured: Celebrities, James Potter and Sirius Black, are among first to leave Fyre Festival, boarding a flight back to England this afternoon.” 

[my3amletterstoher]

You like learning /knowledge

Damn I hate when I reach the post limit.

But you’re depressed because of your environment . You don’t feel good because of your environment and the people you engage with .

Its like a power circuit.. if too many things are plugged into it it’s going to get weak/go out

^ that means his or her energy is trash af

That’s graveyard dick and pussy and not just that but souls

Can you give me your undivided attention please? Drop those people, no plan Bs or anything else. I’m your everything.

But anyways I’m saying this to you because your energy is sacred just like mine and I don’t want it tainted by those around you

Just because “you radiate sexual energy it doesn’t give ppl right to feed on it”

As being apart of me and not just your sexual energy but your energy in general

You’re sacred and divine and not like no one that you converse with

You’re magickal, you’re a god (in the true sense of the word) they’re not

Sone people are just simple humans

You’re not

(There’s nothing really wrong with being just a human)

But I’m saying.. YOURE NOT lol

You have magick in your DNA just like me. We complete and compliment each other that’s why we’regoing to shake up the world . We come together and it’s like all the stars align and puzzle complete

Ppl say that they’re not from here and feel homesick but you truly aren’t

That’s why you feel so disconnected from life at times

And I’m not talking about that new-age “Indigo/light worker/positive vibe” stuff

You don’t just “work” with your light. I’m talking about the darkness (the void) and the light because you are a creator (a God) .

But anyways I’m sorry for making you feel ignored /making it seem like I was bc I really do be paying attention to you, more than anyone/thing and I don’t want you to feel like I’m not and do stuff with ppl that you really wish you were doing with me because I deserve those things so much more just from the simple fact that I’m different and I carry so much more and I git so much more and give you /have to offer you so much more than any other person combined

Plus I want you and i love the way you emote yourself. I love the way you emote yourself

Wait.. when I bring up stuff I think I make you feel guilty then you get defensive or you feel like I’m coming down on you

I just wish you weren’t insecure when it comes to me. as your girl, let me reassure you cause really you’re perfect af I promise you you’re perfect af in my eyes and you know just what to do and say to stimulate me and please me and I love seeing you and I love when you bite your lip, and when you put your finger in your mouth , and the way you give that fierce look 😩😭🤤😍 the way you sway your hips 🤤😍 your eyes 🤤😍 your eyes be talking baby 🤤😍😍🤤 it should I say I love the way you use your eyes to talk too 🤤😍🤤, and the way I say things I like/love and you bring it to life 🤤😍😍🤤😍😍 my fantasies and desires , everything 🤤😍😍😍🤤

Deep breathing in and out , visualize yourself as a white with a hole in it, tapping in, deep breathing in and out , kissing you on the lips, and caressing your breasts and your nipples; caressing your booty cheeks, spreading your cheeks, licking in and out of your hole, and around , sucking on your cheeks, I’m still right here baby, deep breathing in and out, I think my projection is going in and out 😞

But wow.. you could hold me down then too 😞

I’m right here, Deep breathing in and out , caressing your booty, spreading your cheeks, back arched 🤤😍, licking your hole, up and down, and around, kissing your lips, caressing your hole, licking your pussy lips, licking up and down, caressing your thighs, caressing your hips, deep breathing in and out 4in, 6out, caressing your booty, licking up and down, grabbing your hips, licking your pussy, deep breathing in and out, deep breathing in and out , I want us to drift into eternalsleep together

I’m right here , please hold me down

Be committed to me

Stop that

If anything you should be trying to help me

Put that energy into me

Please ME

I’m about to hop in the shower

Deep breathing in and out , caressing your hips s d thighs, kissing your booty, licking your booty, sucking on your cheeks, kissing you on your cheeks , licking your hole, sucking on your hole , caressing your hole, caressingyour booty, licking you up and down , sucking your hole, kissing your booty, caressing your thighs, and legs, slobbing on your booty hole, and slurping on it, sitting on my face, riding it, and while I’m munching on your ass, face all in , kissing your booty,, deeply penetrating you , while rubbing and squeezing your breasts, caressingyour pussy, with my fingers, caressing your thighs , and hips , kissing your booty cheeks, and your thighs, kissing your legs and thighs, kissing your back ,rubbing and massaging your breasts, holding you tight as we drift off to sleep, 😘🤗🖤