#but there are nights where they just stare up at the night sky in the overworld

[revelboo]

Me at your post:

Question. Have you ever thought about writing for the Constructicons? (Not with Prowl though). I think it would be hilarious.

Rewatched their G1 episodes today. Title is the song ‘Drive’ by The Matches. An attempt was made

Drive

Constructicons x Reader

• “I’m just saying. A little appreciation.” Exchanging a look with Long Haul, Scavenger tries to ignore Hook’s grumbling as they work. Pushing against a tree until the wood splinters and breaks so he can dove it over and drag it out of the way. Pausing to tip his head up at the night sky and wonder where home is. “We’re out here busting our afts and do we get any thanks?” Hook demands. No. What they’d gotten was their energon rations cut because in the Decepticon hierarchy, they’re not much higher than Insecticons. He doesn’t like it, but understands. Being forged here on this miserable mudball not Cybertron means being looked down upon. And he has no idea where Cybertron is among those glittering stars. Can it be home when he’s never set ped there?

• “We do our job. A fragging good job,” Scrapper says, trying to keep the peace as Bonecrusher utters a harsh laugh and Mixmaster just shakes his head at him. Like he doesn’t see the scorn. Knows the others think he’s oblivious, but he’s knows they’re looked down on until they’re needed. Devastator demands their respect, but on their own? They’re second class citizens. If even that. Some of the other Decepticons are all too happy to sneer at them, to assume that since they didn’t come from Cybertron they’re less.

• Bending to gouge up a handful of soil and to intake through his vents, separating out the individual components in his head, Mixmaster growls. Scenting those trace amounts of energon that are the whole reason they’re out here in the middle of nowhere. “No one wants to hear that, though,” Mixmaster mutters. “They want us to work and keep quiet. It’s here.” Glancing at his brother when Bonecrusher bumps him. “They’re scared of us,” Bonecrusher growls, beginning to aggressively clear the land of trees, movements sloppy and giving away that he’s been into the high grade. But they all know it’s Devastator that’s feared, not them. They’re tools. Nothing more. Disrespected and mocked by the rest of the Decepticons. Something they all feel and that gets compounded when they’re combined. That dissatisfaction growing every time they combine, spreading and feeding on itself when they separate again. Reaching a boiling point with no outlet to let off some steam. Except to destroy something. And there’s nothing here but trees.

• Exhausted and not even tempted by the hot, greasy smell of fast food in the bag in the passenger seat, you go over the list in your head again. Trying to remember if you’ve gotten at least a little something for everyone. That you’re ready for the upcoming holiday. You’d volunteered to work the day before for the extra cash, but you keep wondering if you’re forgetting something. Distracted you almost miss the huge, dark shape that comes sailing out of the woods. Slamming a foot on the brake as your car slides with a scream of tires, a tree slams into the road ahead of you and goes end over end in a shower of pine needles and broken branches. What? Toggling your emergency lights on, you put the car into park and get out, wincing at the biting cold. And your breath catches as it sinks in that a tree chucked like a javelin even though there’s no wind, no plausible explanation, nearly took you out. Squinting into the dark woods, your skin prickles as a red glow flares in the shadows. Then five more.

• Hears Bonecrusher laugh and Long Haul turns to follow his stare. Sees the tiny shape through the trees silhouetted by the headlights of the car behind them. There’s no way the little human can see anything more than the glow of their optics. But there’s a whisper of excitement twisting through him as Scrapper says, “Bottle of engex to whoever squishes it before it ruins everything.”

• Heart in your throat as those red glows shift and a branch cracks, there’s a roar from the trees that crackles through you and you forget the car. Forget everything beyond the animal need to get away. Running as trees crack and get uprooted with thunderous noise behind you to send you racing across the road and into the woods on the other side in a blind panic. Don’t even know what’s chasing you, only that you don’t want to find out. Is this what a rabbit feels like with hungry foxes snapping at its heels?

• Heavy peds tearing up dirt and leaves as he tries to overtake Hook, Scavenger hears Mixmaster calling out to the organic. Laughingly saying they only want to play. You’re surprisingly fast for being so small, but even noisier than Bonecrusher somehow. Energon pumping through his lines as you break from the trees, just a little shadow silvered by the moon, almost unreal looking as you pelt through the tall grass. Catches a glimpse of terrified eyes when you glance back and then you go down, disappearing completely.

• “Where’d it go?” Hook growls, reaching to push Scavenger out of his way as the rest of his brothers catch up and he realizes there’s a sheet drop, the ground giving way so suddenly you hadn’t seen it in time to react. Leaning down to look at the still form lying in the shallow stream at the bottom, there’s a momentary flicker of disappointment. Because chasing you had made him feel more alive than he’d felt in a long time. The hunt a high almost as sweet as combining.

• Lingering at the edge of the ravine, spark pulsing still with the excitement of your fear, Scrapper’s aware of Mixmaster and Bonecrusher shoving at each other. Of Long Haul and Scavenger both still staring down at their quarry. Turning away to order them back to work, he hesitates as Scavenger bumps his arm with a fist. “It’s still alive.” And he hears the low, pained sound from the little human. “Pretty fun to chase,” Long Haul adds, shooting him a look. Primus, are they wanting to keep you? Like a pet? All five of his brothers are staring at him now. Waiting for his decision. And groaning in defeat, he gestures at the drop. “Fine, but I’m not cleaning up after it.” Because you’re a distraction, something to keep them from dwelling on how unhappy they all are.

[uruncletobi]

Notes On Grief

“Even in a crowded room, or the comfort of my bedroom, the thickness of my grief wrapped around me like a coat I couldn’t take off. Like fur that grew over night, covering me; these feelings were a part of me now. There was no denying that.

I recall many nights I stood in the open air. Staring at the night sky, praying the moon would reach down and swallow me in her sky, but it never happened. The wind seemed to just move through me and I let it. I screamed and I sobbed, but as the months went by I found myself growing quieter, smaller underneath the winter sky. Until I was right back where I started. Just standing, staring at the nothingness up there with a bottomless pit in my stomach and a never ending list of questions whirling in my skull.

It’s not profound, we all experience these feelings one way or another. And even still, the sounds escape me each time my jaw drops to say his name. I hesitate, and then I smile, but pit in my stomach is gnawing.

I suppose the fur I’ve grown is simply thicker this time of year.”

[sushirrrry]

majesty - part one.

| masterlist | wattpad word count: 16881 summary: in 1803 England, Josephine Dowding escapes a troubled past by accepting a position as governess to the daughters of the Duke and Duchess of Northumberland. thrilled at the opportunity for stability, she devotes herself to her work, hoping her secrets remain buried in the ground and unspoken. however, her resolve is tested when she meets the Duke’s rakish eldest son, Lord Styles, upon his return from war. known for his charm and scandalous reputation, his piercing stares unsettle Josephine during family suppers, leaving her questioning her composure and safety in his presence. as she navigates life in the castle, Josephine struggles to discern whether the creaking noises outside her door are mere whispers of the old manor or the harbinger of something far more personal.

now let's head back to 1803. enjoy.

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The sound of the carriage wheels rattled over the frozen gravel, each jolt jarring Josephine’s fragile composure as she held her cloak closely against herself. A gasp escaped her occasionally, as she found the ride a bit unnerving, her alertness at her forefront when she would go to grab at the seat.

She felt that her old life had been forgotten with every inch that she moved towards a new one.

As the towering spires of Northumberland Manor came into view from the small window, silhouetted against the pale gray of a winter sky, she tightened her grip on the fraying edges of her cloak. This place was meant to be her sanctuary, far removed from the bruises of her past and the whispers of a life she longed to forget back in Surrey.

It had not been long since she had left her previous life, so the memories had been fresh in the back of her mind. The struggle that had come upon her had forever changed her outlook on how life should be lived. She had fled to Ashbourne from Surrey; looking for any sign of a newly advanced life to forget where she had come from. Now, she had found a resilience to move forward—leading her to Northumberland, for a new role.

It was a fear she hadn’t wished upon her worst enemy; the fear of instability, worthlessness—leaving was in her best interest, she knew that now. But it had been a feat to bring herself to this conclusion.

Every sharp sound reminded her of the night that she left. She had been told to stay; she had been instructed to. But something inside of her rushed her cloak over her body, and in an instant, she had fled. She had stayed in the shadows in Ashbourne, hoping for an opportunity such as this to arise. She wondered if he had been looking for her as her mind had continued to encourage.

Ages went by without a lead to a new life.

And then, almost as if all hope had been given up, she found herself on her way to Northumberland Castle with instruction from the Duke and Duchess.

The year was marked as 1803; Northumberland Castle loomed before Josephine Dowding like a somber, snow-dusted fortress in the winter season. This was to be her chance—a position as governess to the Duke and Duchess of Northumberland's daughters, a role that promised purpose, stability, and, most importantly, respectability by those above her in society. When she had gotten the letter of acceptance of the position, she had felt like the wind was knocked out of her.

It was an opportunity for redemption—it was her opportunity to leave when she felt that she had no voice.

Josephine’s hands trembled as they sat in her lap, merely a distraction from all the thoughts that lingered between her ears. It was not the cold that made her shiver but the memory of whispered threats and the bruises that had yet to fade completely.

Northumberland Castle was not just a new beginning—it was to now be her refuge. She would bring her lessons, her capability and poise to the manor now.

Once the carriage had come to a halt, her breathing had started to quicken.

"Miss Dowding, we’ve arrived," the coachman called, snapping her from her reverie.

When the door of the carriage opened, she felt the direct cold air sharp on her skin. Her hand had found its way to the coachman as he simply helped her down to the ground. The gravel beneath her feet crunched before she was able to look upwards at the statute of the manor itself.

Without a word of her own, her eyes traveled to the voice of the woman standing and waiting for an arrival—hers, perhaps. Josephine hadn’t thought of herself to be as important as needing a greeting from the Duchess of Northumberland, Margaretta Styles, herself, so her confidence drifted to a higher place instantly.

The outside of the palace was as grey as the sky, matching the tone of the sad, empty winter scenery. The front had columns that held the structure into place, curvature of arches and green shrubbery that Josephine could only imagine was bustling with fresh flowers in the warmer months.

She took in the sight, wondering how on earth someone was fortunate enough to come from such privilege. But she felt grateful to be able to be a part of it, somehow. As her attention drew away from the palace back to the woman in front of her, she gave her best and most professional smile.

“Miss Dowding, I presume,” The duchess began, her tone measured but not unkind, “welcome to Northumberland—I hope your journey was well traveled. We are pleased to have you join us as governess to our daughters.”

The word of the woman was held with pride and curiosity; Josephine held her shoulders back to offer her best, but she found it hard to tell her own smile this, as the nerves seemed to uphold her.

“Y-Yes—I,” She fumbled over her words, letting her feet move to curtsey, “I am. It’s a privilege to be in your presence and to serve your family, your grace.”

The duchess stepped closer, her gown whispering against the fine gravel. She was an elegant woman, with dark hair coiled neatly at her nape and eyes that missed no detail; Josephine had watched them travel along her corset and cloak that were certainly her best, but by no means the best. For a moment, she studied Josephine in silence, as though assessing her worth with a single glance. A blush had crept onto Josephine’s cheeks as she watched the woman smile, almost fondly.

“You come highly recommended, you know,” the duchess continued, a faint smile gracing her lips. “I trust you are aware of the discipline and refinement required for a position such as this.”

“Yes, your grace,” Josephine replied, lifting her head just enough to meet the duchess’ gaze. “I assure you, and your family, that I am both capable and committed to this opportunity.”

The duchess nodded, her expression softening. “Good. My children can be... very spirited at times, particularly Beatrice. I expect you will handle them with patience and resolve.”

“I shall, your grace,” Josephine said, a flicker of confidence finding its way into her voice. If there was one thing that she was confident on, it had been her ability to speak with children.

“Excellent.” The duchess gestured back towards the house; another woman, older than them both, had made her way out to the courtyard to greet them.

“Come, you’ve had a long journey, and I wish to hear more about you. After all, if you are to guide my children, it is only fitting that I know the woman entrusted with such a task. Miss Ellory here will assist with your bags, and we will allow you to freshen before we sit for a tea.”

The duchess recognized that another person had been standing there, her eyes flickering towards the carriage for Ellory to retrieve Josephine’s bags.

Josephine hesitated, startled by the invitation, but quickly curtsied again. “Of course, your grace. Thank you.”

As the grand oak doors swung open to reveal flickering candlelight and shadows that seemed to stretch endlessly, a knot formed in her stomach that hadn’t been there previously. For all its promise of safety, something about the manor—which she now realized was quite the castle—had given her a reminder of the task that she had assigned to herself.

The grand foyer was a marvel. Walls adorned with ancestral portraits loomed over her, their subjects’ eyes seeming to follow her as she walked through the hallways towards the sitting room that was anything but subtle. A massive chandelier hung above, its crystals glittering in the flickering firelight. Josephine’s lips parted in awe, though she quickly suppressed the expression, wary of seeming too impressed.

"This way, Miss Dowding," said the stern-faced housekeeper, Ellory, who led her through a labyrinth of hallways. Her small room, tucked in the east wing, was modest—plain furniture, a narrow bed, and a single frosted window—but it was hers.

"It will do just fine," Josephine murmured softly, setting her trunk down. She had given Ellory a smile of encouragement, hoping to not signify anything differently than her complete and utter approval.

“Tea will be in the main hall momentarily. Take a moment to freshen up for the duchess,” Ellory’s words were curt, but they were met with a small up-turn of her lips when Josephine stared at her with a doe-eyed look of fear. “Just as a small favor, make sure to tell her how much you adore the new timepiece on the mantel. It is a gift from her son—she will think very highly of your compliment, I am sure.”

The tidbit of information made Josephine’s head tilt just a bit, almost as if the hint was a dutiful favor from one act of service to another.

Josephine took in a breath, taking the information in before she nodded a few times. “Very well, I appreciate the gesture,” She smiled at the woman, “Thank you.”

Once she had been left alone, the wooden door shut with a clank. The room wasn’t very well lit, hardly able to see her hands in front of her once she had been closed into the tight space.

This was not just an adjustment, but a change far greater than Josephine could have ever dreamed of. She was far more grateful to this opportunity than she could ever say with any verbal discussion, but she hoped that her work would translate her gratitude to the duke and duchess.

As Josephine moved to sit, she felt a glimmer of hope that she hadn’t felt previously; almost as if everything that she had dealt with prior had led to this moment. She took a heavy breath, pushing all the air out of her lungs in relief. The duchess’s tone carried authority, but there was warmth beneath it, she could tell—a sign that perhaps this new chapter in her life would not be as daunting as she had feared. Or so she hoped.

---

Josephine smoothed her skirts yet again, feeling the weight of the moment as she descended the grand staircase of Northumberland Hall, down towards the main affair where she knew that the duchess would be waiting. Her nerves had gotten the best of her, wondering if she had left the Lady waiting for too long.

Each step echoed faintly against the stone walls, a reminder of the vastness of her new world. She hadn’t seen a residence such as this before, which led her mind to take a wander on what could possibly be behind each door. The late afternoon sunlight, which had now been gracefully pushing through the dark clouds, filtered through the towering stained-glass windows, casting dappled hues of crimson and gold onto the polished wooden banister.

She reached the foot of the staircase, pausing to take in the opulence of the main hall. Marble columns stretched to a high, vaulted ceiling adorned with intricate plasterwork. Above the massive stone hearth, a portrait of the late duke loomed, his stern gaze following her as if appraising the new governess. The fire beneath crackled warmly, casting flickering shadows across the room.

At the center of this stately scene sat the Duchess of Northumberland, poised with regal elegance in an intricately carved high-backed chair. She wore a gown of deep emerald green, the fabric shimmering faintly in the firelight, and a delicate string of pearls adorned her neck. Her sharp eyes fixed on Josephine with an assessing gaze that made her feel simultaneously welcome and on trial, both giving her lungs a moment of cease.

"Miss Josephine," the duchess greeted, her voice a harmonious blend of authority and civility. "Do join me, won’t you? We have much to discuss, and I am sure you are famished.”

Josephine curtsied deeply, her palms damp against her skirts. "Your grace, thank you for your hospitality."

“Please,” The duchess shook her wrist at the curtsey, “No need for pleasantries any longer. You are welcome here and are to be a part of our family. For I am not of royal blood, but just matrimony.” She laughed softly, her fingertips tracing the pearls around her neck.

Josephine let out a sigh of relief, “As you wish, thank you.”

The duchess gestured with a graceful hand to the tea service laid out on a low table of polished mahogany. Fine China cups, rimmed with gold, gleamed under the light of the chandelier overhead. A silver teapot steamed gently, its scent a comforting mix of bergamot and lavender. Josephine took a few small crackers that had been laid on the plates in front of them. She took it upon herself to take a few bites, shutting her eyes as she was thankful for the snack.

"Please," the duchess said, pouring tea with measured precision in each of their cups. "Sit. Make yourself feel at home here.”

Josephine had taken time to make her way to the opposite seat across from the Duchess. “Your home is one of dreams, your grace, truly.”

The duchess stared up at her with what Josephine could only identify as a sheepish grin, her hand moving to take ahold of the teacup that she held in front of her lips now. “It is a privilege to live within these walls,” She shook her head with wonder, “The history and folklore that these walls preside is nothing that I take for granted. I remember the day that the duke and I found our residence here—the day after we wed,” Josephine saw the awe on her face at the remembrance of that day, “It had to be the most gracious day of my life.”

Josephine took a sip of her own tea, letting her hands fall into her lap with the small cup. “I imagine it has always been quite beautiful, especially raising a family here. I love the countryside.”

The duchess tilted her head slightly, studying Josephine as if weighing her response. "Tell me, Miss Josephine, where is it you come from? Your accent has a softness that suggests you are not of the North."

Josephine straightened in her chair, her hands lightly gripping her teacup. "No, your grace, you are correct. I am from Surrey, originally—however, I am coming this morning from a small village in Ashbourne. It is by the sea.”

She hoped that the duchess didn’t inquire anything further regarding Ashbourne, as it had been her refuge, not her homestead.

The duchess raised an eyebrow, curiosity flickering across her otherwise impassive features. "And your family?"

A sigh of relief seemed to coat Josephine’s lungs for a moment before she found her voice again.

"My parents are tenants on an estate," Josephine explained, her voice steady but reserved. "My father is the steward of the land and stables, and my mother oversees the household for the squire."

"An industrious upbringing," the duchess observed. "And your siblings? I presume you have them?"

Josephine hesitated for a moment before answering. "I have an elder brother, William. He manages the estate with my father. And I had a younger sister,” She paused, her voice softening as she thought of Florence fondly. "She passed away when she was very young. They believe that it had been fever."

The duchess’ expression shifted slightly, her sharp gaze softening at the edges. "My deepest condolences regarding your sister. It isn’t lost on me how difficult that is," She licked her lips softly, “My eldest sister had died of plague when I was only seven—it devastated my mother to bits, I don’t believe she was ever the same.”

"Thank you, your grace. I am sorry to hear of your sister, as well.” Josephine replied, bowing her head slightly.

After a sad beat, the duchess took another sip of her tea and found herself questioning Josephine yet again.

“How did you come to this profession?" The duchess inquired, leaning back in her chair, her hands folded neatly over her lap, the tea having a coat of steam beaming upwards on the table across from her.

"My mother encouraged me to pursue an education beyond what was typical for our privilege," Josephine said. "She believed it was the surest path to independence. I was fortunate to study under a governess as a girl, and I later took positions with other families in the region to help solidify my understandings of literature and arithmetic. I am quite fond of literature, if I am to be biased."

The duchess nodded; her expression unreadable, but Josephine felt that it had an air of relief along with it. "A sensible decision. You seem well-suited for the role, especially with your presence here today, with me,” She took in a breath as she shook her head with a taught smile, “You will have to take a glance at our library if you are so interested in literature. It is quite an impressive spread, if I do say so myself. From the travels of my son, it is imperative that you take advantage of his collection.”

A soft rustle caught her attention, then. Two young girls, peeking from behind the heavy brocade curtains at the far end of the hall, giggled before stepping hesitantly into view.

"My goodness, girls," The duchess announced with a laugh, her tone softening as her gaze fell upon them. "Miss Josephine, I am quite sorry for their abrupt appearance—they can be so mischievous,” She turned to the young girls again, “Eleanor and Beatrice, please come introduce yourselves at once.”

Lady Eleanor, the elder at about twelve, stood with a poised stillness that seemed to mirror her mother. Her auburn hair was swept into an elegant braid, and her blue-gray eyes regarded Josephine with quiet curiosity. Lady Beatrice, no more than eight, radiated a perpetrating energy. Her dark curls framed a round, impish face, and she shifted from foot to foot, her hands clasped behind her back as if hiding some mischief. Both carried the same facial freckles that left Josephine in awe of their natural beauty.

The duchess waved a hand towards the young girls as they made their entrance, standing in front with their eyes on Josephine.

“It is a pleasure to meet you,” Josephine offered, taking a stand. “I am Josephine, and I am quite ecstatic to fulfill my role in helping you learn.”

"It will be your charge to oversee their education and development. Eleanor is excelling in literature but requires additional focus in mathematics and French. Beatrice..." The duchess paused, casting a knowing look at her youngest. "Beatrice will need someone to channel her... enthusiasm into more productive endeavors."

Beatrice giggled openly, her laugh as bright as her mother’s pearls, while Eleanor cast her a sidelong glance of gentle reproach.

"I shall do my utmost, your grace," Josephine replied, folding her hands neatly in her lap. "It is an honor to be entrusted with their care."

"You may establish your own routine as you wish," The duchess said, her tone firm but not unkind. "However, discipline and decorum are paramount. They must be prepared for their roles in society, and this household will tolerate nothing less."

"Of course, your grace.” Josephine said with a nod.

Eleanor spoke at last, her voice soft but clear. "Will you be teaching us history, too? I’d like to learn more about the Wars of the Roses."

Josephine’s smile widened at her gesture towards learning. "I’d be delighted, Lady Eleanor. Perhaps we can even study historical figures through their letters and journals. I hear that there is quite an impressive library here; I would love to explore that with you."

Beatrice leaned forward, her eyes sparkling with excitement as she took ahold of Josephine’s wrist for a moment "Do you know riddles? Miss Carden didn’t, and she always made me write lines instead."

Josephine chuckled at the childish question, watching the duchess’ knowing eyebrow quirk at the measure. "I do know a few. Maybe we can trade riddles once your lessons are complete. Or perhaps, after supper this evening."

Beatrice clapped her hands in delight, while Eleanor’s lips curved in a faint, approving smile.

The duchess observed the exchange in silence, her expression unreadable. Finally, she nodded. "You may begin tomorrow. Take this afternoon to familiarize yourself with the girls and the household,” The duchess stared at the girls for a moment, “Eleanor and Beatrice, please go finish freshening up. We will be seating for dinner soon, and I know that it can take you quite some time, hm?”

The teasing look of the mother made the girls giggle with knowingness as they adhered to their mother’s direction, making their way towards the stairwell to take them to their rooms.

The duchess poured another cup of tea, the faint chime of the porcelain echoing in the vastness of the hall. The fire crackled warmly, and Josephine watched the flames dance for a moment, the weight of her new role settling on her shoulders.

Josephine let her eyes drift to the mantel that sat the timepiece that Ellory had made a mention of when she had been freshening up in her quarters. “They seem delightful, your grace. I look forward to working with them.” A pause for a moment before she licked over her lip softly, “I cannot help but notice the beauty of that timepiece there. It is quite magnificent.”

The duchess took in a breath before she seemed taken by Josephine’s compliment, nodding as she finished the rest of the tea in her cup. “Thank you,” She seemed to remember a fondness, “My eldest brought that back from France as a gift. Isn’t it lovely?”

It had taken a moment for Josephine to think about the implications of the comment; taking some time to make sure that she had been thorough enough with her questioning of her role and duties. “Will I be overseeing their education as well?”

The duchess laughed lightly; a sound as soft as silk as she shook her head. “No, Miss Josephine. Lord Styles is well beyond needing a governess. He’s recently returned from London—he is the one I stated had the collection of literature in our library. He spends most of his time... elsewhere.” Her eyes sparkled as she took another sip of tea. “Though I imagine he will find his way here for dinner this evening, and I would be delighted to introduce you.”

Josephine hesitated, sensing something unspoken in the duchess’ tone, but she didn’t question it; instead, succumbing and nodding. “I see. I look forward to meeting him, your grace.”

The duchess set her teacup down with deliberate care, her smirk settling into a satisfied smile. “Oh, I have no doubt you will, Miss Josephine. No doubt at all.” A knowing look made Josephine smile, “He is quite something.”

Josephine felt a strange warmth rise to her cheeks, though she couldn’t quite place why. The duchess returned her attention to the fire, her thoughts her own, as if she already knew what the evening might bring.

---

The soft glow of the evening lamps illuminated the grand corridors of Northumberland Hall as Josephine made her way down the stairs, once again, and towards the dining hall as instructed. She was able to get a few moments of rest after tea with the duchess, letting her eyes shut briefly. Before she knew it, the sky had fallen into a darkness quickly as she knew it quickly did in the winter months.

Once on the main level of the palace, she had noticed that quite a few more individuals were filling the space of the large manor. Much more than before, she thought.

The faint hum of activity filled the air—servants bustling about, arranging flowers, polishing silver, and ensuring every detail was immaculate for supper. Though new to the household, Josephine couldn’t ignore the lively energy that seemed to ripple through the palace tonight. While she knew to expect the duchess, Eleanor, and Beatrice to attend dinner, she still hadn’t made contact with the duke yet—or new information to her, the Marquess who had been discussed earlier.

The eldest child, son of the duke and duchess, she had learned.

Approaching the dining wing, she slowed her pace once she was able to hear some faint voices ahead of her. While she had been raised not to pry, it had been a saving grace for her in the past—knowing what was to come. Her ears caught snippets of a conversation between two footmen stationed near the service door, as if awaiting the arrival. They spoke in hushed tones, their voices low but tinged with excitement. It intrigued her greater, so her pace slowed.

“Lord Styles arrived this morning,” one whispered. “Straight from London. Brought his valet and half his wardrobe, I’d wager. Who knows how long his reign will be here.”

“London? He barely stayed a month, then. I wasn’t aware he had been back to mainland at all.” The other replied. “Always restless, that one. The war changed him, they say, but his charm hasn’t dulled a bit.”

Josephine held herself against the wall as she tried to lean her neck forward just a few more lengths.

“Charming or not,” the first murmured, “he’s still a hero. The stories you hear—the things he’s seen—makes you wonder how anyone comes back the same. He’s haunted, they say, though he hides it well enough. Still… his reputation precedes him, doesn’t it? Even the ladies in London can’t seem to resist him. Maybe he will be staying for social season. Maybe he will be settling.”

Josephine paused in the shadow of the corridor, her brow furrowing.

A hero. Restless. Haunted. Their words painted an image of someone far more complex than the heir to a dukedom she’d imagined. Her thoughts on the matter hadn’t been that pressed, but she certainly wasn’t aware that she was about to dine with a hero, at that.

She resumed her steps, her curiosity growing with each passing moment. Protocol for a governess was rarely complicated, as she understood it, but Lord Styles seemed to command a certain gravity of a situation that she was merely unfamiliar. If she was to dine in his presence, she needed to be prepared.

As she wandered down the hall, she spotted Miss Ellory in the side hall directing maids to their posts, Josephine approached her with quiet purpose, then. The older woman, always sharp-eyed, noticed her immediately.

“Miss Josephine,” Miss Ellory greeted with a brisk nod. “What can I do for you? I do not expect that we will be sitting down for supper for just a while yet.”

Josephine hesitated for a moment before speaking. “I appreciate your timeliness, Ellory,” She nodded, “But I have more of a question regarding placement here, that you could possibly answer for me. I-I, well,” She paused for a moment before Ellory egged her on.

“Go on, dear.” She suggested softly.

“I understand Lord Styles will be joining supper this evening. I thought it prudent to inquire about any expectations regarding his presence—I have heard stories about him that seem far serious, and I wish to ensure I observe the proper decorum and not be naïve.”

Miss Ellory paused at Josephine’s question, watching with a flicker of understanding crossing her face then. “Ah, yes. Lord Styles.” She motioned for a maid to step aside, then turned her full attention to Josephine. “His arrival always stirs the household. You needn’t worry about decorum—he’s no tyrant—but it’s wise to understand the man, certainly. I know him quite well, as I watched him become a man in these halls.”

Josephine nodded, waiting as the housekeeper seemed to consider her words carefully.

“Lord Styles is the eldest son, the Duke and Duchess’s pride and heir,” Miss Ellory explained. “He returned from the wars a hero in the eyes of the world—truly, Northumberland salute him as far above his lordship, it seems. His bravery on the battlefield earned him renown, though he rarely speaks of it himself.” She paused, her voice softening to try and make it quiet, just between the two of them as they stood off and away from the others. “The war left its scars. Haunted, perhaps would be a better term for it. He conceals it with charm, but those who’ve known him longer can see the shadows beneath. I believe that he is merely covering up what he’s seen.”

Josephine’s fingers tightened slightly around the edge of her shawl as she drew it around herself, “And what of his reputation?”

Miss Ellory’s lips curved faintly, though her tone remained measured. “I see you may have heard some notorious gossip around the premise.” The teasing nature of the words left Josephine with a hare of blush on her cheek—Ellory scrunched her nose at the viewing.

“Before the war, Lord Styles was known as a rake, a man of society who could charm his way through any salon in London—believe me, I had a fair share of ensuring that princesses were sent to their carriages quickly and fervently in the night, without a sight here at the manor. So, God only knows what he has been up to in London. It’s completely improper, I know, but I know that the Lord’s heart is full and wonderous. He’s still the same in some ways—his wit is sharp, and women are drawn to him—but his time on the battlefield changed him. There’s a depth to him now, though I suspect even he struggles to reconcile who he was with who he is.”

Josephine felt a pang of something she couldn’t quite name—sympathy, curiosity, or perhaps a touch of apprehension. “I see. Thank you, Miss Ellory.”

The housekeeper nodded, her expression softening. “You’ll do well enough, Miss Josephine. Just be yourself. He’s had enough of insincerity in London, I imagine,” She reached to hold onto Josephine’s upper arm, giving her a squeeze, “I suspect that he’ll find you quite charming; possibly the sincerity he’ll need to return back here.”

With a soft nod, a hearty glance, Josephine felt a warmth in the touch. She gave a nod to Ellory with a thanks. “I appreciate you warning me. I don’t want to miss a thing.”

Ellory shook her head, letting the smile on her face show. “I don’t think you will miss a thing, Miss Josephine. You’ve got an inkling for observation, and I think that will do you a great service here. It’s best to stay informed.”

Josephine murmured her another short thanks before continuing down the corridor.

As she passed through the arched doorway into the drawing room, the low hum of activity faded with the space put between it. When she stepped into the room, she had noticed that Eleanor sat curled on the sofa, her auburn hair falling in neat waves over her shoulders as she pored over a leather-bound book. Beatrice was sprawled on the carpet nearby, absently playing with a wooden horse as the fire roared on the other side of her.

Josephine took a seat beside Eleanor, her curiosity now redirected. “What are you reading, Lady Eleanor?”

Eleanor glanced up, her expression momentarily brightening when she recognized Josephine taking a seat beside her “A book about ancient Rome. Did you know they had aqueducts that carried water to entire cities?”

Josephine smiled at the child’s curiosity, seeing a glimmer of herself in the hunger for knowledge and learning. “Indeed, I did. The ingenuity of their engineering is remarkable, isn’t it? Have you reached the part about Julius Caesar yet?”

Eleanor nodded enthusiastically, launching into an animated description of the chapter she’d just finished— the part of the story when civil war in Italy had been impeding with Caesar’s leadership. Josephine listened intently, occasionally glancing at Beatrice, who was now attempting to balance her toy horse on one of her slippers. When the horse fell, she rolled her eyes with impatience; leading Josephine to smile momentarily.

“I see that you have excellent memory and observation, Lady Eleanor,” Josephine praised, watching as the young girl flipped through the pages in significant intrigue and excitement, “I shall hope to find things that will continue to interest you—I’m sure there are many things that we can study around Caesar. His letters are brilliant, his writing is exquisite.”

The young girl’s head whipped around in delight, “I would love that!”

While the sounds from the manor had ceased by her entrance of the room, it had begun to grow louder again. Josephine had turned her head to the sound of approaching footsteps; it had interrupted the quiet rhythm of their conversation regarding the read that Eleanor held in her hands. The voices carried through the hall, warm and welcoming, followed by a deeper tone—unmistakably masculine and faintly amused.

Josephine looked up just as Eleanor and Beatrice bolted from their spots, their skirts swishing as they raced toward the doorway when some individuals had entered the arched doorway.

“Harry!” Beatrice squealed, her voice echoing in the high-ceilinged room, in a childish manner that felt so pure and wholesome.

Lord Styles, his tall frame silhouetted against the lamplight of the hall. His dark hair was slightly unruly, his features sharp and striking as the dancing silhouette of the oil lamp. He was dressed impeccably; sharp golds glistened against the dark black of the coat tailored to his shoulders and waist. Though his posture carried a casual ease, it was suggested that he hadn’t been comfortable with formality.

He crouched slightly as Beatrice threw herself into his arms, laughing as he spun her in a brief circle. Eleanor followed more decorously from her space next to Josephine, though her smile was no less eager.

“My sweet girls, hello,” he said warmly, his voice rich and smooth as he held Beatrice on his hip, with a spectacular ease, and Eleanor held her arms around his waist.

The duchess followed close behind, her expression softening as she watched her children reunite. She caught Josephine’s eye for the briefest moment, her gaze flickering with that same knowing glint Josephine had seen earlier in the day.

Josephine sat frozen on the sofa, her hands resting lightly on her lap. She could feel the faint hum of energy that seemed to follow Lord Styles into the room, his presence commanding without effort. While she was glad that she had talked with Ellory prior to this, she wasn’t sure the proper protocol to introduce herself. High society worried her—she knew how to curtsey, how to say hello, how to introduce herself, but that felt almost insecure at that moment.

She suddenly understood why the staff had spoken of him with such reverence—and why the duchess had smirked when she mentioned him earlier. It was not lost on her that his presence would have made the enemy cower; he was tall, broody, a sense of confidence that lingered from the undeniable cut of his jawline to the way he stood so effortlessly.

As Lord Styles straightened, his gaze briefly swept the room, pausing when it landed on Josephine. His eyes held hers for a moment—curious, assessing, and faintly amused that she hadn’t made her way to introduce herself—before he turned his attention back to his family.

Josephine let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding. She remained seated on the sofa, her hands folded neatly in her lap as she watched the reunion unfold. Beatrice clung to Lord Styles, Eleanor stood beside him, quieter but no less eager, her hands clasped behind his back. “It is so good to have you home, Harry,” she said softly, her words carrying a depth of sincerity that made her older brother’s expression soften. “We’ve missed you greatly.”

“And it’s good to see you again, Ellie. I am glad to be back home.” He replied, brushing a strand of auburn hair from her face.

The duchess watched her children with an almost imperceptible smile, but her gaze flicked briefly to Josephine, who remained still and composed, unsure if she should join the conversation or wait to be addressed. Another man, who had just then entered the room, stood near the fireplace, his stern features softened by the glow of the flames as he observed the scene with quiet pride.

At last, the duchess broke the moment. “Benedict, Harry—I would like to introduce you to our guest this evening. Well, she’s going to be our guest most evenings, as Miss Josephine has arrived. She is to be our new houseguest—she has arrived this morning, as well.” The duchess turns towards her husband, “Miss Dowding, it is my highest honor to introduce you to my husband, the Duke of Northumberland, Benedict Styles,” She turned towards the marquess, “And to my eldest, Marquess of Havenbrook, Lord Harry Styles.”

Josephine’s heart skipped a beat as all eyes turned toward her. She rose gracefully—she had hoped—from the sofa, smoothing her skirts as she stepped forward and towards the family reunion of sorts.

Josephine curtsied, keeping her voice steady despite the weight of his attention from both the Duke and Lord themselves. “Miss Josephine Dowding, your graces. I’ve recently joined the household as governess to Lady Eleanor and Lady Beatrice. I hope to exceed all expectations.”

The duke bowed his head at the woman to acknowledge her grace, “It is a pleasure to meet you, Miss Dowding. You shall make a great impact on our children, I hope.”

Lord Styles’ lips curved into a faint, amused smile as he interrupted his father, “A governess? I will see that my sisters are in excellent hands.”

Eleanor tugged at his arm, beaming. “Oh, she’s wonderful, Harry! She says she knows riddles and stories and even said we could study Julius Caesar’s letters!”

“Julius Caesar, you say? That is far more than just literature and arithmetic,” Lord Styles arched an eyebrow, his smile widening. “I can see you’re already raising their expectations, Miss Dowding. I’ll have to keep up with the lessons myself.”

Josephine felt a blush rise to her cheeks but managed a polite smile. “I am sure that you would be able to keep up just fine, my lord.”

His eyes lingered on hers for a moment longer than necessary, she is positive, his expression unreadable in that precise moment. Then, with a faint tilt of his head, he turned back to his sisters.

“Well then,” the duchess said, clapping her hands lightly to draw everyone’s attention. “Now that introductions have been made, shall we proceed to supper in the dining hall?”

The family began moving toward the dining room, the duke offering his arm to the duchess as the girls followed in a flurry of chatter, not allowing any space between themselves and the marquess. Josephine trailed behind, her thoughts spinning as she tried to process the interaction.

Lord Styles had an undeniable presence—charming, yes, but also enigmatic. She had seen the way his eyes had darkened, just for a moment, when Eleanor spoke of his absence, and she couldn’t shake the sense that there was far more to him than the confident man who had stridden into the room with ease.

As they entered the dining room, Josephine was struck again by the grandeur of Northumberland Hall. The table was set with gleaming silver and crystal, the centerpiece a lavish arrangement of winter blooms that were covered in reds and greens to bring in the holiday season, approaching quickly. She took her assigned seat at the far end of the table, aware that her role at the table would require a balance of invisibility and attentiveness.

Lord Styles was seated to the right of her, at the head of the table, his mother on the opposite side of him. Eleanor sat on the opposite side of Josephine, Beatrice across from her—the duke at the other end of the table. Though he spoke animatedly with Eleanor and Beatrice, Josephine noticed moments where his gaze would drift, his expression distant, as though his thoughts were miles away. She hadn’t meant to stare, but she felt almost drawn to the way his facial construction had met expectations that were heavenly sent.

At one point, his eyes flicked to Josephine again, and she quickly dropped her gaze, pretending to adjust her napkin on her lap meaningfully. A faint smile played at the corner of his lips, as though he had caught her observation and found it quite amusing.

“I believe that a toast will be in order,” The duchess stated, holding her glass before looking over at the duke, “My dear, if you would please make a toast to honor Miss Dowding and Harry’s arrival.”

“Certainly,” The duke stood in his spot at the end of the table, raising his glass. “I would like to invite us to toast—Miss Dowding, your arrival has been awaiting us, especially since the sad departure of Miss Carden. We welcome you to our residence, and hope you find it to be comforting, warm, and a beautiful place to stay.”

Josephine smiled at the gesture, nodding in her appreciation as she watched the man turn to his own.

“Son, it’s marvelous to have you back at this manor, in the safety of our home. We relish everything that you have fought for and cannot wait to hear every detail of your travels during your stay back here. Your bravery for our country has exceed all our expectations, and we cannot welcome you back enough,” The duke holds his glass, “To this lovely supper, and to all of our prosperities.”

The warmth of the meal—the roast lamb with stewed vegetables had unfolded with ease, filled with laughter and light conversation between the six of them at the relatively small table. Yet, beneath the surface, Josephine felt the undercurrents of something unspoken—a tension or perhaps a weight that hung over Lord Styles like a shadow. His eyes remained fixed in some respects, watching as he held the knife with a bit of a shake to his fingers.

It was enough to make her stare, which led to her being a bit spooked by his directness towards her, his voice penetrating her studying.

"Miss Dowding," he said, his tone unreadable as Josephine watched his trained green eyes inhabit the way that she used her own knife, eyes blazing at her before she felt the redness cross her cheeks. "I trust you’re finding your position… satisfying so far?"

Josephine stiffened as Harry turned his gaze back to her.

"Very much so, my lord," she replied, her voice steady despite the way her heart raced just at the directness of his questioning.

He didn’t look away. "And are my sisters proving to be apt pupils?"

"As I’ve just arrived, I cannot give my truest thoughts, but from the time I have spent with them thus far, they are bright and eager to learn," Josephine said carefully, feeling the weight of every word under his scrutiny. "It will be a privilege to guide them to be their best, I can assure you."

The corner of his mouth quirked; a ghost of a smile that felt more mocking than kind, if she was being honest. "A governess who finds privilege in duty. How… rare." A dry laugh left him; his eyes moving to his mother as she quirked an eyebrow at his humor.

The duchess shook her head at his observation. “I think you would find that Miss Dowding is quite determined.”

“I shall see for myself, then.” Harry solidified, “I would like to sit in on a lesson—make sure that this is to be up to our standards. I would hate for Eleanor and Beatrice to get the wrong impressions on literary complex, hm?”

Josephine let her chewing of the cooked carrot take her mind off his own determination to possibly undermine her teachings.

“I would absolutely encourage that,” Josephine nodded in agreement with the lord’s comment. “You will be welcome to sit in on a lesson at any time.”

The conversation moved on, but Josephine felt his eyes on her throughout the meal. She dared not meet his gaze, but the heat of it lingered, making her pulse quicken and her appetite vanish just by the way she felt overwhelmed with judgement.

The fire crackled gently in the hearth that sat behind the duke, adding warmth to the air, but Josephine couldn’t shake the chill settling in her chest at the way she felt singled; intimidated by the wonder and curiosity of the man beside her. She sat near the end of the long table, her position a reminder of her role in the household—present, but on the periphery.

The duke and duchess were engaged in polite conversation about estate matters, while Eleanor and Beatrice giggled at some private joke shared between them, across from one another. Lord Styles had been quiet for most of the meal, save for the occasional charming quip or comment directed at his sisters.

Finally, during a lull in conversation, Lord Styles leaned back in his chair and directed his attention toward Josephine. “Miss Dowding,” he began, his tone more pleasant than previously, but edged with curiosity. “I apologize for not inquiring sooner—but where are you from?”

Josephine swallowed, knowing where this conversation was leading, but settling for a moment.

“Ashbourne, my lord.”

Harry looks up from his plate for a moment, eyes squinting at the answer, “It’s not often one hears of a governess arriving from a place like Ashbourne. How did you find your way to Northumberland?”

Josephine froze for a fraction of a second, her hand tightening imperceptibly on her fork. She had expected questions eventually, but not so soon—and not so directly with the tone that he had used. She forced a calm smile, willing her voice to remain steady.

“I was fortunate to hear of the position through a family acquaintance,” she replied. “They spoke highly of the household and its reputation. I was quite interested in the premise of teaching young minds.”

“Indeed?” Harry’s eyebrows rose, his expression unreadable. “It’s a rather quiet place for one so capable and evidently well-educated. Ah—and certainly you know the Wilton’s, then?”

The question hung in the air, and Josephine felt the weight of all eyes on her. She could see Eleanor and Beatrice glance between her and their brother, their innocent curiosity mirroring his sharper inquiry. The duchess’s expression remained composed, but there was a flicker of interest in her gaze. Even the duke paused his cutting of his lamb to listen.

“I wanted a change of scenery,” Josephine said carefully. “Ashbourne seemed like the perfect place for respite and reflection after… personal difficulties.” She swallowed, feeling the way that her blood sped through her veins beat after beat, “A-And I’m quite afraid I am not familiar with the Wilton’s, no.”

“Difficulties?” Harry pressed, his voice light but with an undercurrent of something keener. “How intriguing. One rarely hears of governesses with mysterious pasts.”

Josephine’s breath caught; the feeling of her corset was almost more unbearable than usual. She knew this game; it was the type played by men who were too clever for their own good. She straightened slightly, meeting his gaze with as much calm as she could muster.

“Everyone has their struggles, my lord” she said evenly. “Ashbourne offered a quiet place to begin anew.”

Harry studied her, his eyes narrowing just slightly. “Anew?”

She realized her mistake as soon as the word left her lips. Harry caught it too.

“Surrey,” she answered swiftly, too swiftly. “Surrey is where I originate. My—my family, they reign from Surrey. I apologize for the confusion.”

“Surrey?” he repeated, tilting his head. “Not Ashbourne, then? How curious that someone who speaks of a quiet life would have left Surrey, only to begin again in Ashbourne. They are quite far apart, you know,” He laughed dryly, “Of course you would know that.”

Josephine’s pulse quickened. She could feel the attention of the entire table sharpening, though the children remained blissfully unaware of the tension building. She hesitated, knowing that anything she said now could deepen his suspicion. As if he had a reason to be digging at all—she knew her truth on why she had fled Surrey for Ashbourne, but her past wouldn’t have been brought to discussion. Not here, anyways.

“There are times when circumstances necessitate leaving one place for another,” she said, forcing herself to maintain a serene expression. “I hope that satisfies your curiosity, my lord.”

Harry smiled faintly, though it didn’t reach his eyes. “For now, Miss Dowding.”

The duchess cleared her throat delicately, her gaze flicking between the two of them. “Harry, perhaps you might allow Miss Dowding to enjoy her meal in peace. It isn’t polite to interrogate our guests.”

“Of course, mother,” Harry replied smoothly, raising his glass in a gesture of apology. “My apologies, Miss Dowding. My curiosity often gets the better of me, I’m sure you’ll learn.”

Josephine inclined her head, though her heart still raced. “No apology will be necessary, my lord.” Her nods were kept short, “You have every reason to question guests in your home.”

The rest of the meal passed in strained silence, at least for Josephine. Eleanor and Beatrice continued to chatter happily, oblivious to the undercurrent of tension. The duke and duchess returned to their conversation regarding the social season that had been fast approaching which would involve multiple strenuous affairs to and from London, though Josephine noticed the occasional glance the duchess sent her way.

It was quite meaningful to her—to see that the duchess seemed to send her glances.

As dessert was served, Beatrice leaned across the table, her voice conspiratorial. “And Harry, are you staying for Christmas this year?”

Harry hesitated, his fork pausing midair. He glanced at the duchess, whose expression remained composed but watchful as she seemed to let the marquess take the lead on the question.

“We shall see, little one.” he said at last, his tone gentle but noncommittal—it was to be expected. Beatrice frowned but didn’t press the matter. “A bit far off, but I do intend to try.”

Josephine, observing the exchange, felt a pang of sympathy. She wondered what kept him so unfocused and able to stay in a place long enough to feel committed, unable to remain. Perhaps Miss Ellory’s words about the scars of war were truer than she had realized; she was glad to have the insight amongst them, but she knew that letting in this bias may have been leading her to have unkind thoughts of the marquess.

As supper had ended, dessert had been moved away. The candles that sat in the middle of the table had started to flicker when the duke stood from his seat, “I suggest we move our conversation into the sitting room, what do we think?”

“I believe that’s a fine idea,” Harry nodded, taking the napkin that had been held in his lap and placing it next to his plate. The men stood first, allowing the women to follow in their lead.

“Josephine, dear, you must be exhausted with your travels.” The duchess asked, taking the girl’s arm to wrap around her own as they made their way towards the sitting area.

A swift nod and a deep breath seemed to settle Josephine as she agreed with the duchess, “Very,” She shook her head, “But I am having a lovely time learning and speaking with yourself and your family. I am very eager to start working with the girls. And the duke and you could not be more welcoming to me.”

 The duchess held onto her hand as they found themselves in the darkened room, lit for the evening affair of after supper. “It’s our pleasure. We want the best for our girls, and you continue to prove why you have been chosen for this. We are highly impressed with your professionalism.”

“Impressed indeed.” The duke added in; he had poured himself and the lord a scotch, both holding the small glasses. “Would either of you like an after-dinner tea? We can put some in the kettle at once.”  

Josephine shook her head, “I would hate to reject your offer; however, I do believe that I am alright now. I would love to enjoy the fire a bit—it is such a beautiful addition this time of year.”

Harry had been standing next to the fire, leaning against the mantel before he turned to see Josephine make her way towards him—making his heart beat in a way that sent him taking a few steps backwards.

The room was warm and inviting, with a fire crackling in the hearth and walls lined with shelves of well-worn books. Plush chairs and sofas were arranged in conversational clusters, and a tea tray had already been placed on the low table in the center of the room. The duke and duchess settled into the armchairs nearest the fire, engaging in quiet conversation, while Eleanor and Beatrice gravitated toward Josephine, who had taken a seat on the ground next to the fire.

"Miss Josephine," Beatrice called brightly, tugging on her hand as she took a seat next to her. "You promised me a riddle, remember?" Eleanor chimed in, holding her book of Roman history which she hadn’t yet to set down except when at the table. "And perhaps we can discuss Caesar again? I was reading about his triumphs, and I had some questions."

Josephine chuckled, allowing herself to relax slightly under their enthusiasm. She glanced over at the duke and duchess, who both gave her approving smiles. Lord Styles, however, stood near the hearth, his hand resting casually in his pocket, observing the scene with quiet curiosity as he took a sip of the poured scotch.

"All right," Josephine said, smiling at Beatrice. "Here’s a riddle for you both: What has to be broken before you can use it?"

Beatrice furrowed her brow at the inquiry, biting her lip in concentration. Eleanor crossed her arms, her expression thoughtful.

"Oh, I know! An egg!" Beatrice exclaimed after a moment, her face lighting up with triumph.

"Very good, you’re quite a thoughtful one, aren’t you?" Josephine said, clapping lightly. "Now, Eleanor, what was your question about Caesar?"

Eleanor settled in front of her, opening her book to a marked page. "I read about the triumphal processions he held when he returned to Rome, but weren’t they seen as boastful? Didn’t some of the senators dislike him for it?"

"Indeed, they did," Josephine replied, her voice taking on the calm, measured tone she used during lessons. "The senators had feared Caesar’s growing influence around, especially among the common people. He was quite charming in a way—he really had a way with getting what he wanted. The triumphs were a way for him to display his power, but they also heightened the tension between him and the Senate."

Eleanor nodded in understanding; her expression serious. "So, it wasn’t just about celebration. It was politics, too."

"Exactly, Lady Eleanor," Josephine said. "This is a lesson worth remembering: what seems like celebration on the surface often has deeper motives underneath."

Lord Styles, who had been leaning casually against the mantel, straightened slightly. "Wise words, Miss Dowding," he said, his tone light but with an undertone of something deeper. "It seems you’ve made quite the impression on my sisters."

Miss Dowding turned toward him, startled by his sudden interjection. She maintained her composure, offering a polite smile. "Lady Eleanor and Lady Beatrice are both eager learners, my lord. It’s a pleasure to guide them."

Beatrice grinned up at her. "Miss Dowding knows everything, Harry. Even riddles! Do you want to hear another?"

Harry chuckled, moving to sit in the chair opposite them. "Why not? Impress me, Beatrice."

Beatrice glanced at Miss Dowding, who leaned over towards Beatrice before making sure to whisper the riddle in her ear to repeat to her brother. "Okay, Harry. What has hands but can’t clap?"

Harry tilted his head, his lips curling into a smirk as he knew the answer immediately. "A clock."

Beatrice pouted at his quick judgement, a whine leaving her lips, "That was too easy."

"You’ll have to try harder if you want to stump me," he teased, leaning back in his chair. Josephine watched as his hand—particularly his thumb print moved the condensation of the glass. His gaze shifted briefly to Miss Dowding as he recognized her stare; his expression unreadable, but she would have sworn that she saw a twinkle in his eye.

Josephine looked away quite quickly.

Eleanor, oblivious to the tension in the room, tapped Miss Dowding’s arm. "Miss Dowding, can we read more about Caesar tomorrow? I want to understand why people followed him, even when it seemed dangerous."

"Of course, Lady Eleanor," Miss Dowding said gently to the young girl, "We’ll explore his leadership and how he inspired loyalty. Anything that you’d like."

The duke cleared his throat from his chair near the fire, drawing the room’s attention. "It is clear Miss Dowding has a firm hand with her charges," he said approvingly. "We’re fortunate to have her."

The duchess nodded in agreement, though her eyes flicked to her son. "Indeed. It takes great skill to balance discipline with encouragement."

Lord Styles didn’t respond immediately. Instead, he studied Miss Dowding for a long moment before speaking. "It would seem, Miss Dowding, that you’ve brought a sense of calm and purpose to this household. It’s not a simple task; I can assure you."

Josephine felt the weight of his words, though she kept her expression neutral. "Thank you, my Lord. I do my best to fulfill my duties as instructed and not stray away from what I’m told."

For a moment, their gazes held, and Josephine felt an uneasy prickle along her spine. His praise felt genuine, but there was something in his tone—something that hinted at suspicion, as though he were still trying to piece together who she truly was.

Beatrice, oblivious to the undercurrents, climbed onto Miss Dowding’s lap and declared, "Miss Dowding, you should tell Harry a riddle he can’t solve!"

"Perhaps tomorrow," the duchess interjected with a smile, rising gracefully from her chair. "It’s been a long day for all of us. Girls, why don’t you show Miss Dowding how you get ready for sleep, hm? Perhaps she would be interested in our routine.”

Josephine took a breath as she stood from her seated position on the wooden floor, using her hands to wipe down at her skirt before holding the waist of her dress, adjusting accordingly before letting the girl’s take her hand to lead towards their room.

“I shall also retire to my room,” Josephine nodded a few times at the nobles, “It’s been a pleasure already. Thank you for dinner, your graces,” She turned towards Harry then, his eyes fixated on her as she bowed her head at him, “My lord.”

As Josephine guided the girls back to the nursery, she couldn’t help but glance over her shoulder. Lord Styles still sat by the fireplace, his gaze fixed on her, his expression thoughtful as he tried his best to place his mind on how to get more from her.

Josephine quickened her pace as she felt the tug of the girls’ hands, leading her up the stairs and towards another challenge all together.

---

Once the girls had been tucked away into their bed, Josephine had wished them a great sleep. She had taken it upon herself to put the girls to bed, before making it out into the hall where she would have to make her way down to her own quarters.

The corridors of Northumberland Hall were quiet, save for the occasional creak of ancient wood or the distant whisper of the wind against the stone walls which had started to pick up outside. She noticed the way that the walls start to feel eerie with frigidness. Josephine carried the lamp as she walked back toward her quarters after ensuring the girls were settled for the night. The soft glow illuminated her path, but the stillness of the late hour made every sound seem amplified.

It hadn’t occurred to her that there was still a conversation happening below her. As she neared the grand staircase of which they had walked up only an hour prior, faint voices carried upward from the hall below. She paused, recognizing the deep timbre of the duke’s voice, measured but firm, and another voice—Lord Styles’—sharp with irritation. Both tones of their voices she had yet to hear.

“I’ve just returned from fighting for this country,” Harry’s voice echoed, rising above his father’s steadier tone. “And you would have me march straight into another battle at the altar?”

Josephine froze at the corner of the corridor, her pulse quickening at his words. She shouldn’t linger, but her feet refused to move. The raw emotion in his words held her captive; she knew that this was spying, being completely too observant of their personal ventures, which she knew she shouldn’t hear. It wasn’t meant for her.

“This is not a battle, Harry,” The duke replied, his tone calmer now but insistent. “It is your duty. The family requires stability. An alliance with the Barrenton’s would secure that.”

Harry’s laugh was bitter, reverberating off the cold stone walls. “Stability? As if we do not have stability in this castle that we call our homestead. I believe that you mean more wealth. More influence. Am I correct in saying that? Tell me, Father, what would I be to Lady Barrenton? A husband or just another pawn in your ambitions to gain further notoriety?”

The duchess’s voice is heard then in interjection, softer but no less resolute. “This is not about ambition, Harry. It’s responsibility. You know what is expected of you—the eldest son, the only son.”

“Expected of me?” Harry’s voice cracked slightly using those words, his frustration cutting through the air. “Expected of me was to die on the battlefield, wasn’t it? And now that I’ve defied those odds. I am back here, I am standing on two feet, and you wish to bind me to a life I will no longer recognize! What if I do not want that?”

Josephine’s grip on the candleholder tightened. For all his arrogance, there was pain in his voice—a weariness she recognized too well. She had heard that same tone in her own voice once, in moments when the weight of expectation had crushed her spirit.

What if she didn’t want that? It was a thought she had all too often.

The duke’s voice turned colder, sharper. “You will not speak to your mother that way. This conversation is not a request, Harry. It is a duty.”

There was a long silence, and Josephine could almost feel the tension vibrating up the walls, even though they were out of sight.

“It is not lost on me why I have removed myself from this—this place. I do not wish to marry, and that will be final. I do not wish to tie myself to wed so that I can be sent to war and bleed out in a large field and my wife will have to tend to my death bearing my children—I will not see to it, and you shall not force me to make such a decision as brutal and heavy-hearted.” Harry said finally, his voice low but edged with defiance.

Heavy footsteps followed, and Josephine’s breath hitched as she realized they were moving toward the staircase. She extinguished her lamp and pressed herself into the shadows along the walls of the corridor at once. Her heart began racing as Harry’s figure came into view; his expression was a storm of emotion—anger, frustration, and something deeper, more vulnerable, that lingered in the downturn of his mouth and the flicker of his eyes.

For a moment, she thought he might look up and see her, but he didn’t. He strode past the staircase, disappearing into the darker corridors of the west wing. Only when his footsteps faded entirely did she release the breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding.

Josephine stood rooted to the spot, the echoes of his words replaying in her mind. She knew she shouldn’t have stayed to listen—their private conversation had given her bias to a situation she clearly knew nothing about. It wasn’t her place to eavesdrop on the affairs of the family, and yet... she couldn’t ignore the pull she felt in it.

Beneath his defiance, there was a wounded soul struggling to reconcile the man he was expected to be with the one he had become. She understood that conflict all too well. He had been trying to flee from a person he once was, back to someone that he had been before. The only issue was who you were before would never be again.

Shaking herself free of the moment, she turned back toward her quarters, her thoughts restless then. As she climbed the stairs to her room, she couldn’t help but wonder why Harry’s pain had struck a chord within her. She had left behind her own life of battles, but in his words, she heard the echoes of a war she had not fully escaped.

When she finally reached her room and closed the door behind her, the quiet had enveloped her like a heavy cloak. Setting her extinguished lamp on the bedside table, she sat on the edge of the bed, her mind still tangled with what she had heard. She went to reignite the light, letting it be the only glimpse of reality within the darkness of the small room.

Lord Styles was a man of contradictions—arrogant yet vulnerable, defiant yet bound by duty. She had glimpsed the cracks in his armor tonight, and though she didn’t understand why, it unsettled her deeply.

As the night had become quiet with ease, Josephine sat on her bed, against the pillow she had been given as she let the flicker of the lamp trickle over the pages in the novel between her fingers. The memory of his piercing green eyes still vivid in her mind as he questioned her at the table.

The castle seemed unnaturally quiet, the faint creaks and groans of its old timbers amplified by the stillness, the gusty winds outside had troubled her thoughts. She told herself it was her imagination when she heard the softest sound—footsteps, perhaps? —in the hallway outside her door. Her breath held as she watched the door.

She froze, her hand hovering over the lamp on her bedside table. Was it just the castle settling, or was someone there? For a moment, she imagined opening the door to find Lord Styles standing on the other side, his gaze as intense and unrelenting as it had been at supper.

She wondered if he would stand there and question her as he had tonight.

Shaking her head, she scolded herself for such thoughts. He would have no reason to come here, she told herself. Still, the sound of the footsteps lingered in her mind as she lay back on the narrow bed, her heart racing precociously.

As the wind howled outside, Josephine stared at the dark ceiling, wondering if the storm within the castle walls would prove far more dangerous than the one raging beyond them. It was thoughts such as that that had led her into a dream.

---

The morning sun was just beginning to filter through the heavy drapes of Josephine’s small chamber as she fastened the final button of her gown. Her bedroom faced the east, knowing that she was getting the early trickling of the beginning of the daylight. The fabric was simple but neat, a reflection of her practical nature and modesty. The dress she had chosen had long sleeves; blue and white flowers moved across the print in a delicate fashion.

She tied her apron snugly around her waist, smoothing the creases as she took a steadying breath. The mirror in front of her helped to highlight her tousled hair, which she easily pinned back to tuck it behind her ears. The quiet hum of the household awakening reached her—footsteps echoing faintly in the corridors, the clink of crockery and stationery from the kitchens below.

Another day had begun. It had felt as if she had been there for ages. Her journal details would conclude that this was her twentieth day at Northumberland—it had been a journey thus far, and she had woken up every day with a new perspective on the ever-changing ways that children learned, and what they had taught her. It had given her a way to think about dynamics, let her see the world for what it was.

Eleanor and Beatrice were just children—two young girls in a world that would always love them and care for them; money would never be an issue, but their hopes and dreams may come to a halt once they recognized their role in society. It was to please, to gather a new life for their own families as they would be put to society for all of judgement.

It made Josephine quite sick to imagine a mind such as Eleanor’s to become nothing more than what had been expected of her. Beatrice, still young, was approaching these conversations too—she kept up with their banter, their confrontations over literary tales and blunders. It took everything in Josephine not to think about what society was for these young girls and why she felt the need to give them a world that she never had the opportunity for.

The world that she had to run from. She didn’t want them to feel the need to run. And, if they did, she wanted to teach them to run faster—stealthier, quicker.

As she had been getting her items ready for the day, she had heard a small knock on the wooden door. Josephine opened her door to find Miss Ellory waiting in the corridor with a small tray. The housekeeper’s sharp eyes softened as she handed it over, the scent of freshly brewed tea and warm toast rising in the air as Josephine too the small tray from her grasps.

“Good morning, Miss Dowding,” Miss Ellory said, her voice brisk but not unkind. “I trust you slept well?”

“I did, thank you,” Josephine replied, taking the tray and setting it on the small table over by her window. “It seems the household is particularly lively this morning—I see that there’s quite a bit of movement.” Josephine referenced the movement that was happening outside of her window, even though she could feel the cold drift from the glass.

Miss Ellory gave a knowing smile. “Lord Styles has a habit of unsettling the usual order of things. He’s taken to rising early this week, which, as you might imagine, keeps the staff on their toes with his demands and necessities.”

Josephine’s lips twitched into a faint smile as she poured herself a cup of tea from the small teapot that Ellory had brought. “I will keep that in mind should our paths cross today.”

Miss Ellory hesitated, her gaze turning slightly more serious. “You’ve done well with the girls these past weeks. Lady Eleanor’s progress in her studies has not gone unnoticed, and even Lady Beatrice seems to have taken a liking to your methods.”

Josephine inclined her head modestly. “The girls are eager learners. It makes my work all the more rewarding,” She finds herself smiling at the thought of the youngest, a quick laugh following, “However, Miss Beatrice is quite a handful, isn’t she?”

Ellory shakes her head with the same enlightened smile, “She is quite mischievous, yes. However, I think the duchess is quite taken with you—the whole family is. You have done an excellent job. But do be cautious, Miss Josephine. You’ve a steady hand and a sensible mind, but there are always... distractions in a household such as this. Keep your focus where it belongs.”

Josephine met the housekeeper’s gaze, a bit of misunderstanding in the unspoken warning. “Of course, Miss Ellory. My sole priority is the education and well-being of Lady Eleanor and Lady Beatrice.”

 The sense of concern started to cross onto her facial features as she turned to face Ellory for a moment, wondering why she had brought up such a concern before she spoke again.

“Was something mentioned about my focus? A distraction, perhaps? I can assure—”

“Miss Josephine, there truly is no concern,” Ellory says quickly, trying to pull her back to focus on her praise rather than the mere, undeniable concern that had started to bubble at the surface of the manor gossip. Ellory had wanted to mention it to Josephine as soon as she had the inclination, knowing that the young girl was impressionable, and new to the environment.

They stood for a moment before Ellory wiped her hands on her apron before she cleared her throat. “I—it is not a concern per se—”

Josephine breathed in, “Please tell me at once.”

“It is just that—” Ellory huffed; her lips feeling dry in the cool, late November air. “It is just that many of the service believe that many may be noticing the way that you are the distraction itself.”

Josephine blinked a few moments before shaking her head at the continuation of confusion that she felt at the words Ellory spoke. Her eyes darted between the older woman’s; they were kind, showing her an affection that she trusted. “I don’t believe that I understand.”

Ellory pursed her lips as she walked closer, trying to make Josephine settle before she spoke too loudly and would be overheard by anyone else that may be in the halls of the manor.

Ellory’s gaze softened slightly, but her tone remained firm. “This is not just about you; I can assure you. But it is about Lord Styles. Since his arrival, he’s been... quite distracted. And more than one member of the service has noticed his attentions seem to be fixed in your direction.”

Josephine’s breath caught, and she shook her head at the complete and utter foolery that had left Ellory’s mouth. “I can—will assure you, Miss Ellory, I have done nothing to encourage him.”

“I believe you,” Miss Ellory said, letting her hands reach to hold onto Josephine’s arms in a comforting manner, letting her know that she was believed, “But intentions matter little when gossip takes root. The maids have whispered about how often he lingers near the schoolroom. The footmen joke about his frequent detours through the gardens when you’re walking with the girls. Even the butler remarked on how he seems to find excuses to pass the corridors by wherever you happen to be.”

Josephine’s cheeks burned, a mix of anger and mortification coursing through her at the idea that she had caused such a disruption without knowing the mere intention, “I cannot control where Lord Styles chooses to be—I-I cannot understand how this has happened, or how these preposterous rumors have begun.”

“No, you cannot,” Miss Ellory agreed, her voice gentler now. “But you can control how you conduct yourself. I’m telling you this not as a reprimand but as a warning. You are a governess, and while the family respects your work a tremendous amount, you must tread carefully. Appearances matter in a household such as this. A governess would never end up with a marquess.”

Josephine’s hands tightened around the edges of her apron at the woman’s words, feeling the weight of them when she starts to nod in a deep certainty. “I understand, Miss Ellory. But what am I to do? Avoid him entirely? How am I to do so when I was not even aware of his presence?”

Miss Ellory’s lips pressed into a thin line. “That may be difficult given the current circumstances, but you must remain vigilant. Keep your interactions with him formal and brief. Do not allow yourself to be drawn into any personal conversations, no matter how innocuous they may seem. As I mentioned, the services will be watching, and they will talk.”

Josephine nodded, though her mind churned with unease as she tried to understand it all herself. She didn’t want to throw away everything that she had built, the relationships that she had started to concrete. “Have... Have the duke and duchess heard these rumors?”

She could see that Ellory hesitated before answering, shaking her head, but allowing Josephine to not have any hope that they would not, “Not yet. But it’s only a matter of time if things continue as they are. And that is why I am speaking to you now. You have worked hard to build your position here, Miss Dowding. Do not let something beyond your control jeopardize that, do you understand?”

Josephine’s chest tightened just at the thought of her fleeing the manor for a new life once again. She had escaped one life of peril only to find herself walking a tightrope in this new one. The idea that her every move could be scrutinized, misinterpreted, or twisted into scandal made her feel ill instantly.

“Thank you for telling me,” Josephine stated quietly, trying to encourage the continued hush of their conversation, “I will do my utmost to ensure there is no cause for further gossip.”

The housekeeper gave a curt nod. “Good. You’re a sensible woman, Miss Dowding. I trust you’ll take the appropriate steps—we would hate to lose you.”

Ellory squeezed on Josephine’s arms for a quick show of her affection, giving her a tight smile. It had been warm, something that Josephine had looked for, for quite some time.

As Ellory turned to leave, Josephine lingered in her bedroom for a solid few moments, her thoughts spinning at the recent news development. She had been so careful, so determined to keep her head down and do her work. And yet, the attention of one man threatened to unravel everything she had worked for—everything she had run from was starting to catch up with her.

 She thought of Lord Styles—his intensity, his lingering stares, the way he seemed to look at her as though she were a puzzle he couldn’t quite solve. She needed to stay tight-lipped, brief.

She would have to be more cautious, more distant. Whatever curiosity Lord Styles held toward her; she could not afford to indulge it. Not when her very livelihood was at stake. With a deep breath, she squared her shoulders and made her way back toward the schoolroom, determined to keep her focus where it belonged.

Josephine finished her tea and toast quickly, the exchange with Miss Ellory lingering in her thoughts as she made her way to the schoolroom. The housekeeper’s caution was not unfounded, as it turned out. Lord Styles had an undeniable presence, one that seemed to ripple through the household even when he wasn’t present. Everyone whispered, everyone wanted to know every detail of him. Josephine resolved, once again, to keep her distance and focus on her duties.

By the time she arrived into the room, Eleanor and Beatrice were already seated at their desks, chatting animatedly about their dreams—how Eleanor was swinging high above the trees, looking down on the ocean below her. She couldn’t understand how the tree ended up in the middle of the ocean but had been fascinated by the view; she had wished to see the sea again. Eleanor’s Latin book lay open before her, while Beatrice doodled in the margins of her notebook with pictures of small animals. The sight of them brought a small, genuine smile to Josephine’s face as she had started to truly love beginning her days with their curiosity.

“Good morning, ladies,” she greeted, her tone warm, filled with a passion. “Are we ready to begin?”

The schoolroom was quiet besides their small voices when Josephine entered, the faint morning sun spilling through the tall windows and warming the wooden desks that were cherry oak with hints of red pining through them.

“Good morning, Miss Dowding,” Eleanor replied brightly. “I had just told Beatrice about the poem we’re going to study today.”

Beatrice groaned dramatically; a roll of her eyes followed. “Poetry is so dull. Can’t we do riddles instead?”

Josephine chuckled softly as she set down her materials that she had been carrying through the halls. “I think you’ll find today’s poem quite engaging, Lady Beatrice. We’ll be reading William Cowper—his works are full of vivid imagery and profound ideas that must interest you. Now, let’s begin, shall we?’

Eleanor eagerly opened her book to the marked page, while Beatrice sighed but followed suit with her sister’s guidance. Josephine began to explain the context of the poem, her calm and steady voice filling the room. The girls were attentive to the material and Josephine’s effervescence, even Beatrice showing a grudging interest as they discussed the themes of faith and resilience that Cowper inevitably showed.

At the sound of the door creaking open, breaking the flow of the lesson. Josephine’s eyes had looked up, startled to see Lord Styles leaning casually against the doorframe. His dark hair was slightly tousled, and his emerald-green eyes sparkled with amusement as he surveyed the small room that had been converted for the learning environment—it was as if Josephine had merely designed for the three of them, but it worked with the lesson materials and capabilities.

After the discussion that Josephine had with Ellory this morning, her heart started to beat at a faster rate as she made herself more prominent, standing straight up in acknowledgement of the marquess.

“Good morning, my Lord,” Josephine said evenly, her fingers grasping the book in her hands tighter. “Is there something I can assist you with?”

“Not at all,” Harry replied, his voice a buttery smooth cadence. “I was merely passing by and thought I might observe for a moment, as I believe I have mentioned wanting to prior. I’ve heard much about your lessons from my sisters, and I thought I should take a listen for myself.”

Josephine nodded, though her shoulders stiffened at the thought of him joining their morning ritual. “Yes, very well. You are welcome to stay, of course.” She blinked a few times, running her tongue over her lips softly before trying her best to come back to the conversation regarding faith.

He stepped further into the room, his gaze drifting to the chalkboard where Cowper’s words were written in neat script. His hands were held behind his back as he made his way into the room; the soft leather of his boots had traced across the wooden floors in a shuffle. “Ah, Cowper, I see. A quite lofty choice for young minds, don’t you think?”

Eleanor, bristling slightly at his words, spoke up. “We can understand it perfectly well, Harry. Miss Dowding explains things wonderfully, and I think you will see that if you would let her speak.”

Harry grinned at her, ruffling her hair as he passed by. “I don’t doubt it, Ellie.” His attention shifted back to Josephine, his tone light yet teasing. “Miss Dowding,” he said, “you are far too quiet for someone entrusted with shaping the minds of my sisters. Surely there’s more fire in you than you let on?”

Josephine’s eyes met his, her expression carefully neutral. “Fire, my Lord, is not always the best tool for instruction, you see. Patience and discipline tend to yield better results, I find.”

He found himself watching her more often than he cared to admit. She carried herself with a quiet dignity, her head held high despite her modesty in their manor. There was a resilience about her that intrigued him, a strength he couldn’t quite place. He’d met plenty of women who were bold and spirited—quite spirited, yes, but Miss Dowding’s strength was odd to him. It wasn’t loud or attention-seeking; it was steady, unyielding, like the roots of an ancient oak tree that had prospered for hundreds of years.

It annoyed him, if he were honest. She was a puzzle he couldn’t solve, and he had always hated being bested. But it also fascinated him. He wanted to know what lay beneath her composed exterior, what thoughts and fears she kept hidden behind those guarded eyes.

Those ridiculously shielded, enticing, rather beguiled, gray and guarded eyes she had. And the hair—it was such a natural curl of waves that flowed down her back, tucked gently behind her ears. The sight of her collarbones reveled his desire, pulsing a tight-lipped stare for less than a second, catching a glimpse. Surely, he hadn’t expected her to shine in the light of the early morning sun as she had, but he wouldn’t lie if asked if he enjoyed it.

Certainly, yes.

His lips curved into a slow smile as he found himself biting the inside of his cheek at her carefully articulate answer. “And do you apply that same philosophy to all aspects of your life?”

Before Josephine could respond, Eleanor interjected. “Harry, stop teasing her. She’s an excellent teacher.”

Josephine’s heart skipped a beat at the way she responded. Eleanor was quite outspoken, which gave Josephine the hope she had been pursuing with taking this role. It gave her confidence to know that the young minds were not being undermined.

Harry raised his hands in mock surrender at the young girl’s attempt to continue their lesson. “My apologies, Ellie. No offense intended, of course.” Yet his gaze lingered on Josephine, a challenge sparking in his eyes.

It gave Josephine permission to then return to the lesson, Josephine directed Eleanor to read aloud the next stanza of the poem, as they had been going line by line to interrupt each word in its placement. She refused to let Harry’s presence distract her, though she was acutely aware of his movements as he strolled around the room, glancing at Beatrice’s notebook and inspecting the titles on the bookshelf.

“Quite the artist, aren’t you, Bea?” he said, noting the squirrel she had sketched in the margins on the paper.

Beatrice grinned at the small drawing, almost blushing as she went to cover it up. “Miss Dowding says I have a vivid imagination.”

“That, she does,” Josephine replied, agreeing with the young girl. Her tone softening as she glanced at the younger girl with a knowing look. “But we’re working on channeling that imagination into more structured pursuits, aren’t we?”

“It is a task I do not envy,” Harry quipped, though his expression softened as he looked at his sisters. “I trust that you will make sure that structure is in place, but,” He shrugs almost, “There is always room for imagination and creativity, as well, yes?”

Josephine took in a deep breath, nodding a few times, “Of course. I believe that imagination and imagery are always at the forefront of our minds. Reality is dull without the thought of something greater.”

The twinkle in his eyes made her eyes divert; she knew that she should have been consistent with staying forward, not diving further into conversation with the Lord, as she had promised Ellory.

As the lesson concluded, Eleanor and Beatrice bounded out of the room, eager to explore the gardens before tea would be served. Harry lingered, his gaze following Josephine as she tidied the desks around them.

“You handle them well,” he remarked, his tone more thoughtful now.

“Thank you, my Lord,” she replied without looking up. “They are delightful girls, and I am proud that they are utilizing their knowledge outside of this classroom to ensure logical and articulate discussions.”

He stepped closer, lowering his voice slightly. “You are quite an enigma, Miss Dowding. Most women in your position would be eager to curry favor. But you…” He trailed his voice, picking up a book that had been laying on the desk that she used as her own, looking at the title before moving closer to her presence, “You seem determined to keep your distance. Why is that?”

Josephine straightened her spine, meeting his gaze with quiet resolve. “I am here to teach, my lord. Nothing more.”

“Ah, but teaching is such an intimate act, isn’t it? Shaping young minds, influencing their futures. Surely that requires more than mere detachment. Possibly involving personal atonement, anecdotes of your own life that can be based in teachings.”

Her lips tightened. “My role in this manor requires focus, discipline, and professionalism. Which is precisely what I provide. My own successes and failures should not be involved in their learning, and that is by my own doing. We are all individual, after all. My influence would not be deemed professional.”

Harry found himself taken aback by her response; mostly since he enjoyed the way that she spoke so fluently and without stutter, almost like she knew exactly what he would say next. The wit outsmarted him numerous times. She had been so educated and delightfully conversational that he found himself troubled with the idea that she was challenging; in a way that intrigued him to a fault.

He flipped through the book that he held in his palms as he watched her start to tidy up the small schoolroom. “Do you never tire of maintaining such perfect decorum? Surely there’s a rebellious streak in you somewhere that you will not allow to be seen.”

She looked up at him, breathing outwards at his continuous questioning that almost bored her. “My lord, I find that rebellion often leads to unnecessary complications. I prefer to avoid such things.”

“How dreadfully dull,” he replied, though his tone was more amused than mocking; it was then that she noticed the dimple that cratered in his cheek that her eyes had drawn to. Seeing the warmth of his bright smile had transfixed her to a new level of curiosity and allure. “Perhaps I’ll have to be the one to coax it out of you.”

“I would advise against that, my Lord,” she said evenly, almost like she had been instructed to do so. “It would be a waste of your time.”

Harry’s smile widened, but he said nothing more, then staring at the book in his palm. As he walked away, he couldn’t shake the feeling that Miss Dowding was far more than she seemed. And for reasons he couldn’t quite explain, he found himself wanting to uncover every one of her secrets. It was a game.

There was a moment of silence, then. Harry studied her for a moment, something unspoken passing between them. He had taken a deep breath, letting his hands fall behind his back as he nodded at her with certainty.

Then he smiled, softer this time. “Very well, Miss Dowding. I will not press you further today,” He licked his lips, “I have enjoyed this, however, and I thank you for allowing me to attend in the lesson.”

Josephine took the books that had been sitting on her desk, noticing that he had one in his hands; it had been her copy of Moll Flanders. She was not sure that he had recognized that he had walked away with it, but when she noticed the way that his fingers gripped around the leather binding, she knew that he knew. He turned to leave, glancing back over his shoulder before he walked through the doorframe.

“I must admit, I’m curious to see how long you can maintain this stoic façade,” The look that he wore almost took Josephine’s breath away, “The relentlessness will be tiring, I assure you.”

Josephine waited until his footsteps faded before exhaling a breath, she hadn’t realized she was holding. She returned to her work then, her hands trembling slightly as she arranged the books on the shelf to put away from the lesson that day.

In many ways, Lord Styles was a dangerous man—not because of his title or charm, but because he seemed determined to see through the walls, she had built around herself.

And that, she realized with a sinking feeling, was a battle she wasn’t sure she could win on her own.

---

The bustle of the manor had been quite lacking through the day as Lord Styles strode down the corridor leading from the schoolroom, his thoughts lingering on the peculiar Miss Dowding. As they had the past few days, indeed. She had handled his teasing with a remarkable composure that he found completely and utterly unsettling. Most of the women he encountered would have become too flustered under his scrutiny, eager to please or to curry favor as he had questioned with her.

Not Miss Dowding.

Her responses had been measured, deliberate, and tinged with a quiet defiance that intrigued him more than he cared to admit. It almost felt directly to the chest how intrigued he had become with her composure and assurance to making her duty fulfilled.

The shuffle of his boots had clunked against the hard flooring, taking him by the drawing room, his mother, the duchess, was seated by the fire, her embroidery hoop in hand as she had a dark purple string lacing into the fabric. She glanced up as he entered, her expression softening with maternal affection by his furrowed brow.

“Harry,” she greeted. “You look as though you have something quite preposterous on the mind. Would you care to explain further?”

He smirked at her acknowledgement, pouring himself a glass of wine from the sideboard table. “Something like that, I assume. I’ve just come from the schoolroom, actually.”

Her eyebrows lifted delicately at his admission to his whereabouts. She wouldn’t comment further but would inquire his reasoning for walking into the lesson. “The schoolroom? And what took you there?”

“Intrigue, I suppose,” he admitted, taking a seat across from her. “I wanted to see how Miss Dowding was faring with Eleanor and Beatrice. They seem very fond of her, which, in return, sends me to be more curious, as well.”

The duchess’ hands paused over her stitching, eyes trained on her hands as she tried to keep her smile down, “And what are your thoughts on her?”

Harry swirled his wine in the rounded glass, considering his words as he stared at the maroon-colored liquid, taking a sharp breath. “She’s… capable. Steady-handed. The girls are lucky to have her.”

The duchess’ lips curved into a small, knowing smile as if she could have told the entire story with just the smirk alone. “That is quite high praise from you, Harry. You don’t often comment on the household staff, you know. Unless it is quite horrific.”

“She is hardly ordinary staff, mother,” he replied quickly, his tone lingering with a bit of edge to it, as if accusatory. “She’s educating my sisters and doing so effectively, as is her duty to us as to their education. It’s worth noting for the sake of Eleanor and Bea.”

His mother’s gaze lingered on him for a moment, her smile deepening at his reasoning, but seeing that there had been a much larger reason for his curiosity. A mother had always known. “Indeed. It seems Miss Dowding has made quite an impression on us all, and I am quite thankful that we had received her letter.”

Harry raised an eyebrow but said nothing, unwilling to engage further in the conversation regarding Miss Dowding. However, he would have if he had been taunted to; something about the woman made him want to engage in conversation. He leaned back in his chair, facing in his mother as she sat with her embroidery, the faint sound of approaching footsteps drawing his attention. The duke entered the room, his presence commanding as always. The duchess set her embroidery aside at his entrance, and Harry’s posture stiffened slightly, sensing the shift in mood.

“Harry,” the duke said, his voice calm but firm. “We need to speak at once.”

“Is this about the accounts again?” Harry asked, feigning nonchalance, eyes lifting to look at his father before shrugging. “I assure you that everything is in order, and we have certainty to believe that—”

His father cut him off, holding out letters in his hands.

“No, this is about you,” the duke replied, taking a seat beside his wife. “We’ve heard troubling reports from London, and I am quite horrified by the accounts that I am reading.”

Harry’s jaw tightened, but he kept his expression neutral, eyebrows furrowing at his remarks. “Troubling?” He felt a laugh come from him that was completely humorless and mockery. “Do elaborate.”

“There have been rumors, Harry. About your behavior. Adultery, gambling, neglecting your duties at the manor in London, which you have—in good faith—promised your mother and I that you have been tending to. It’s unbecoming of someone in your position, and there will be no stance for this.”

The duke threw the letters on the table in front of them; a stack of white mail had shuffled across the wood table. Harry’s eyes darting to them at once before he found himself with a smile, sharp and humorless. “Rumors are a pastime in London, father. Surely, you’re not giving them undue weight?”

“When they reflect poorly on this family, we must take them seriously,” the duke said, his tone clipped in anger as he looked at his son, “You are the sole heir to Northumberland. Your actions matter. Your behavior matters, and we will not stand for this.”

“My actions are my own,” Harry replied to him, his voice hardening as he sat up in the chair at the accusations that were being thrown at him. “I’ve fought for this damned country, sacrificed for it. You believe that I would tarnish our name in the name of sin?”

“Do you honestly believe that you live a lifestyle without consequence?” The duke said bluntly. “You are a leader, Harry. It’s time you started acting like one, and those reputable sources are coming straight from the mouths of the highest regards in London. Surely you paint me a fool for not believing them.”

The duchess placed a calming hand on her husband’s arm; her eyes fluttered as she tried to remain the calm sense, looking at her son who had his jaw tight with fury.

“What your father means, is that we believe you’re capable of so much more. You’ve shown bravery and resilience, but now it’s time to channel those qualities into something… meaningful.”

Harry’s lips pressed into a thin line, trying to untighten his jaw, but seething instead. “And what would you have me do to prove that of myself?” The tightness and anger that filled within him made his fist feel tight. “We’ve had this discussion, and I will not be brought to my knees with fulfilling the requests to marry.”

The duke’s eyes narrowed in thought at his son’s proposition. “For a start, you might take a lesson from someone like Miss Dowding. She’s shown discipline, propriety, and dedication to her role—she is new, making her name in our world and has done so with absolute grace. Perhaps you could benefit from observing her example.”

Harry’s head snapped toward his father, irritation flashing in his eyes. “You’re comparing me to a governess?”

“If the comparison stings, then perhaps it’s worth considering why.” The duke replied evenly, his voice stern at his son’s complete overreaction to the terms.

The comment struck a nerve, though Harry masked his reaction to try and forfeit the anger. The wine glass was lifted to his mouth, draining the rest before he was setting the glass down with deliberate precision on the wooden table. “Your concern of my well-being and duty is duly noted. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have other matters to attend to.”

Standing from the velvet chair, his feet could not have taken him quicker out of the room. The warmth of it starting to get to his head as he felt the complete wrath of anger. He left the room, trudging his way towards the west wing; without waiting for a response from either of his parentals, his steps measured as he retreated to the one place that felt that there was an issued silence.

The door to the room was closed; his hand reaching to double doors that were arched with beauty before pushing through them, practically flying through the quiet space. The only sound was the sound of his breath filling the air around him. His walk slowed them, eyes trained on the larger shelves that were masterfully placed around the majestically large ballroom. It had been a dream of his to fill the room with essentially the best literature and adventurous readings that he could find. Once he did, he would send them home, leaving this room to be filled with all his thoughts, all his journeys were contained to this space. Harry took multiple steps, leaning against the shelves, his fingers brushing the spines of the books without focus.

Miss Dowding. Josephine.

The name lingered in his mind, irritating him in ways he couldn’t fully articulate. Just the sound of her name as it crossed his lips made his stomach churn with uncertainty. She was a governess; a fixture of the household whose purpose was to educate his sisters and remain in the background of his dutiful work.

And yet, she had somehow become a point of comparison, a reminder of his supposed failings. She had not seen the gruesome reality of the war; she had not been the heir to the nobility that he had been given. It did not rest of her shoulders, yet, he believed that she could fulfill every duty asked of her without a single glance.

He thought of her earlier, standing before the chalkboard with that maddening air of composure that only bewildered him more. She had challenged him with her poise, deflected his remarks without a hint of fluster. There was strength in her, quiet and unyielding, and it gnawed at him. He was used to women seeking his approval, his attention. Miss Dowding sought neither.

But intrigue was dangerous, he came to find. It led to questions, distractions, and vulnerabilities he couldn’t afford. Not now, anyways. He had spent years crafting a reputation that served as both armor and weapon, a way to deflect expectations and avoid entanglements. Yet, here he had been, the subject of the latest talk.

Miss Dowding, with her steady gaze and measured words, threatened to unravel him further. Further, further down.

Harry exhaled sharply, pushing away from the shelves with a bubbling anger that he couldn’t place. He wouldn’t let his curiosity about her consume him. No—he wouldn’t let that happen.

Whatever interest he felt was fleeting, a passing fancy that would fade in time, he was certain of it. How certain he had been, thinking of those grey eyes that would tell a story so detailed that this mind would only dream of with the highest intentions of all his desires, would be easy to forget.

And, oh how completely, undeniably certain his affection had been all along. So, to learn from her, would be his greatest privilege, he thought.

[ikkyfics]

Beyond Words

Remus Lupin x fem!reader

Summary: “Tough day?” Remus asked, turning slightly to watch you more closely. You shrugged. “Kind of. Just… a lot of noise. I needed a little peace.” “Well, you came to the right place.”

Warnings: none

Masterlist

The night at Hogwarts was peaceful, except for the distant sound of conversations and laughter coming from the Gryffindor Common Room. After a particularly busy day, all you wanted was a moment of peace, away from the noise and distractions. So, you climbed the stairs toward the Astronomy Tower, where you knew you could find the silence you longed for.

When you opened the heavy door, the first thing you saw was a familiar silhouette sitting on one of the stone benches under the faint light of the stars. Remus Lupin. He was bent over a book, his brown hair falling softly over his forehead as his eyes scanned the pages. You paused for a moment, hesitating.

“If you’re going back to the noise down there, don’t even think about it,” he said without looking up from the book, but there was a playful smile in his voice.

You sighed lightly, crossing your arms. “I didn’t say anything.”

“You didn’t need to. I know you,” he replied, carefully closing the book and finally lifting his gaze to you. That warm, curious brown stare made your heart race every time. He smiled, the kind of smile that seemed reserved only for you. “Come here.”

Remus slid over to make room on the stone bench for you to sit. Despite your initial reluctance, you walked over to him, sitting down with a heavy sigh.

“Tough day?” he asked, turning slightly to watch you more closely.

You shrugged. “Kind of. Just… a lot of noise. I needed a little peace.”

“Well, you came to the right place,” he said softly, pulling something from his robe pocket. He held out his hand and, without saying anything, handed you a small piece of chocolate.

You raised an eyebrow, taking the treat. “You carry chocolate everywhere?”

“Of course,” he answered casually. “You never know when someone might need a little comfort.”

You chuckled softly, shaking your head, but accepted the chocolate gratefully. The sweet and comforting taste was exactly what you needed. Silence fell over you both again, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. On the contrary, it was the kind of silence that only someone like Remus could make possible—a silence where you could simply exist.

He opened the book again, but his attention clearly wasn’t on the pages. He kept glancing at you out of the corner of his eye, as if studying you.

“You’re staring at me,” you commented without taking your eyes off the starry sky.

“It’s because you’re beautiful,” he said without hesitation.

You turned your face toward him, feeling the heat rise in your cheeks. “You never get tired of saying that, do you?”

“To tell the truth? No,” he replied, smiling with that calm way of his that made it impossible to stay mad at him.

You shook your head, trying to hide how fast your heart was beating. He had this way of making even the simplest moments feel special, like they were just for the two of you.

After a while, Remus closed the book again and set it aside. He turned completely toward you, resting his elbow on his knee while propping his chin in his hand.

“Did you know that this is my favorite thing about you?”

You blinked, surprised. “What?”

“This,” he said, pointing slightly at you. “The way you can turn any place into something peaceful. Even if the day was a mess, even if I’m exhausted… you make everything seem easier.”

“Me?” you asked, incredulous.

“You,” he confirmed, his brown eyes shining with sincerity. “Even the silence with you feels special.”

For a moment, you couldn’t say anything. Not because you didn’t know how to respond, but because it seemed impossible to put into words how much he meant to you. He was everything—a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day, a constant in a world full of uncertainties.

“I… I like you too,” you finally said, your voice softer than you intended.

He smiled, the kind of smile that made the world seem lighter. “Well, that’s convenient, considering we’re dating.”

You huffed, trying to keep up the air of indignation, but the heat rising in your face and the corner of your mouth betraying a smile didn’t help at all. “You’re impossible, you know that?”

“I hear that a lot,” he replied, tilting his head slightly, the playful tone softening his expression.

For a moment, you just stared at each other, the kind of silence that felt full of unspoken things, but things that didn’t need to be said. Then, before you could censor yourself, you let slip: “It’s just that you make everything seem so… easy.”

Remus raised an eyebrow, surprised. “Easy? Me?”

“Yes, you,” you repeated, feeling your face heat up even more. “You have this… thing. This way of making everything seem like it’s going to be fine. Even when it shouldn’t. It’s annoying.”

He laughed, that low, cozy laugh that seemed to fill the entire space. “I think that was the strangest compliment I’ve ever received.”

“It was sincere,” you shot back, looking at the sky to avoid his gaze. “And don’t get used to it. I don’t do this all the time.”

Remus didn’t respond immediately. Instead, he leaned a little closer until you finally turned to face him again. His brown eyes were shining, a mix of affection and something deeper that made your heart stumble.

“You know I adore you, right?” he said softly, the tone so sincere it almost hurt.

You tried to laugh, but the intensity of his words caught you off guard. “Are you sure about that?”

“I am,” he said without hesitation. “And I’ll keep saying it until you truly believe it.”

Without thinking, you leaned in, pressing a light kiss to his lips. It was brief, but sweet, the kind of gesture that said more than any words could. When you pulled back, you saw he was smiling again—that smile that was all his, soft and charming.

“Was that an argument?” he asked, the playful tone returning.

“Maybe,” you replied, trying to hide how nervous you were, but the smile on his face told you he knew.

He extended his hand, his fingers gently brushing against yours before holding them. The scars on his skin were rough, but the touch was gentle, almost reverent. You knew he didn’t like drawing attention to the marks, but to you, they were just another part of him—another thing to admire.

“You’re beautiful, you know?” he said, his eyes fixed on yours.

“Remus,” you murmured, feeling your face heat up again.

“I’m serious,” he insisted, intertwining his fingers with yours. “It’s not just the way you look at me, or how you can understand everything without me having to say anything. It’s how you pay attention to everything, like now. I see the way you look at me, and that… means more than you think.”

You swallowed hard, feeling a lump in your throat. “I… I just… really like you. A lot.”

He tilted his head, curious. “How much?”

You sighed, knowing you couldn’t escape. “Enough to think you deserve more than just this.”

Before he could respond, you moved closer again, holding his face in your hands. You ran your thumbs gently over the scars on his cheeks, looking at him with all the intensity you usually hid. “I really do adore you, Remus Lupin. Even the little, silly details.”

The surprise in his eyes lasted only a moment before it melted into something even softer. He held your hands, lightly kissing the palm of one of them. “Then we’re even.”

You laughed, but before you could say anything, he leaned in, kissing you with a sweetness that seemed to take all the air from your lungs. It wasn’t rushed or intense, but filled with a tenderness that said everything he felt.

When you pulled apart, he was still close, his forehead resting against yours. “You know there’s no turning back now, right? You’re stuck with me.”

“Am I?” you asked, raising an eyebrow, but you couldn’t stop the smile that escaped.

“Completely,” he replied, his smile matching yours.

And as you stayed there, tangled up in each other under the starlight, the world felt quieter, simpler—like nothing else mattered but the two of you.

[sarcasticgaypotato]

The Best Solution

On cold, clear nights that bathed the world in pale blue light, Chell turned her chin up and looked at the sky.

She was not afflicted with the condition known as ‘sentimentality,’ no matter how many scorch-marked, heart-adorned metal cubes got thrown her way and left behind in fields of wheat a hundred miles away. But the ravaged surface world offered her little (save for her own freedom) and the nights were as quiet and lonely as the days, just without an excuse to fill her time by finding something to busy herself with under the light of the sun.

So, she looked upward and let her mind wander.

Every streak of a shooting star she hoped was a certain circular heap of scrap metal finally burning up in the atmosphere.

“Let go! I’m still connected. I can pull myself in.”

Of course he could. If she had given him half a chance, he would’ve pulled himself back in just fine—and let her fly off into space without a second thought if it would save his own steel.

The cold vacuum of space. When she closed her eyes, Chell could still feel it in the wind that tickled the stray hairs on the back of her neck, in the cold that stole the breath from her lungs as she gasped it. That rush of weightlessness, her eyes watering and freezing her eyelashes together, and that pit in her stomach that said, after everything she had survived, this might be it.

She stared up at the moon; a pale white beauty, once near enough for Chell to reach out and touch, now as distant as ever. A sliver in the night sky, it grinned down at her with a smile that knew the taste of her fear. An untouchable queen who would have her head, if she had her way. Chell would have called it as familiar as it was deadly, if not for one thing that nagged at her mind as she stared, lost among stars and memories alike.

This was always the point in her late-night stargazing that Chell started scratching absentmindedly at her wrist, where the phantom burn of cold metal claws still seared into her skin.

Chell never fell for any of GLaDOS’s tricks; she knew her too well. That hate was familiar, expected. Working together in Old Aperture was a surprise only for a moment; it was logical if they wanted to survive. The enemy of my enemy is my friend, or “Everybody likes revenge,” as a certain someone had put it. 

She trusted GLaDOS’s intelligence enough to know that she would play nice for as long as they had a shared goal, and for as long as Chell held all the power. Don’t bite the hand that holds your consciousness trapped in a potato battery, or something like that.

Chell had even been fairly confident that after they beat Wheatley (she never had any doubt that they would), as long as she kept her guard up and an eye on her, GLaDOS wouldn’t risk betraying her. The world’s most intelligent lifeform had finally learned that Chell wasn’t worth crossing—it only took two losing battles for the lesson to sink in.

GLaDOS would keep her end of the bargain as long as it was convenient to do so. That was why Chell couldn’t make sense of what happened. No matter how many times she replayed those seconds in her head, watching her own memories in slow motion as GLaDOS knocked Wheatley free of the chassis and sent him spinning into space, robbing Chell of her only anchor to Earth. 

Freefall. 

Could you call it falling without gravity? Spinning, flailing, her body wrenched outward, seconds away from dying in space, embarrassingly outlived by the very same moron who was responsible for this whole mess. In the second that she had to process her impending death, Chell took a small hint of satisfaction in knowing that at least she took him down with her. Sure, the lack of air wouldn’t kill him as quickly as it would her, but he was far from a self-proclaimed king of Aperture out here. He was nothing but a hunk of junk destined to get knocked around by asteroids like a pinball. At least GLaDOS had a death worth bragging about under her non-existent belt; Chell had blown her to bits in what she would humbly call ‘a spectacular fashion.’

GLaDOS. Was her last thought before unconsciousness took her going to be about GLaDOS? How apt. GLaDOS would’ve loved to hear that, not that Chell would’ve ever told her, even if she had the chance.

She wouldn’t have the chance. She wasn’t supposed to.

When Chell felt that familiar metal claw clamp around her wrist, the first thought her fading consciousness could conjure was that GLaDOS wanted to be personally responsible for flinging her out into space, maybe so she could get a good spin on the throw. The realization that GLaDOS was pulling her in, back towards Earth, to safety, was one that proved entirely too much for her oxygen-deprived brain to process. So, she passed out.

GLaDOS could have done nothing at all, and Chell would have died. If she wanted the satisfaction of doing it herself, she could have crushed her under a metal plate or thrown her in the incinerator while she was unconscious. Instead, GLaDOS saved her life, watched over her recovery until she awoke, and then … let her go with only a bit of theatrics and nothing else. 

She pinned the blame on Caroline and made a big show of deleting her, neither of which Chell believed for a second. That golden eye took her in, unflinching, with the same inscrutable expression before and after the automated voice cheerfully announced Caroline’s removal. A long dead secretary Chell had never crossed paths with had nothing to do with this; there was no difference between the GLaDOS that pulled her from space and the GLaDOS who watched the elevator ascend to the surface now.  

This was all her, and she was supposed to give them both a satisfying conclusion to them parting ways with weapons lowered, standing (even if one of them didn’t have legs) on equal ground. GLaDOS was supposed to make this easy by sending her off with an insult or a half-hearted threat of one last murder attempt for old times’ sake.

“Killing you is hard.”

Liar. 

Killing me would have been easy if you wanted to.

Why didn’t you want to?

[vinylfoxbooks]

25 Days of Jegumas | Day 1 | Day 21 December 22 - Santa Claus | @noblehouseofgay | wc: 626

There was one part of Christmas that Regulus was never quite able to get a hang of understanding. He still doesn’t, not even with his son sitting on the lap of the jolly-looking man with a fake beard and branded in all garish red and white that probably is going to chainsmoke out the back end of the mall as soon as he gets on his break and listing off all of the random things that he wants for Christmas -- Regulus thinks that it’s rather late for them to be here, getting present ideas just before the actual day happens but whatever his partner and son wants -- while James takes a couple pictures of them. 

Santa Claus, what a weird thing. Who likes the idea of a fat man wearing garishly bright clothing sneaking into your house in the middle of the night with a giant red sack. That sounds like all of the markers of a crime. And the idea that he goes up and down the chimney -- which, what house has chimneys that are used or even open up to the sky anymore? -- without getting any soot on him or getting stuck because chimneys aren’t all that large, especially with a giant bag full of hard presents? It just doesn’t sound enjoyable. 

He was almost freaked out by the story when he first heard of who Santa Claus was, staring at Sirius in abject horror as his brother told the stories with stars in his eyes at the idea. He understands, now, that Santa Claus isn’t real or anything and is instead played by very tired parents in the middle of the night but… what kid would find joy in the idea of that. Shouldn’t it freak them out? 

Regulus wonders if any of these children crying when they get to the man in the costume are scared of a strange man that they’re being told to sit with or if they’re scared of the stories. He doubts the latter is the case for most of them, if not all. James tried to describe it to him, using buzzwords that Regulus can’t relate to like ‘favourite uncle that always brings cool things’ or ‘the nice grandpa that tells you cool stories and bounces you on his knees’ but it didn’t make anything click for him like they thought it would.

But again, whatever Harry and James wants. And Harry is currently staring up at the costumed man that he’s sitting on with joy and awe and it warms Regulus’ heart. He doesn’t get it, but his son loves the idea of Santa Claus, and perhaps that’s enough for now. Maybe, far in the future when Harry is a teenager, they can talk about it and Regulus can ask why he loved the idea of Santa so much. 

James is helping Harry off of the man’s lap -- which also freaks out Regulus, he’d rather not watch his son sit on the lap of a complete stranger who probably doesn’t even have to go through any in depth background checks -- and thanking the man and the workers dressed as elves with shoes too big. Then they’re making their way over to where Regulus is standing with a couple bags in his hands, “Ready to go?”

Regulus nods, moving all of the bags to one hand and grabbing at James’ free one, “Whenever you are.” 

As they’re walking, Harry works himself around James so he’s holding both of their hands between the two of them, “Did you see me and Santa papa?” 

Regulus smiles down at his son, “I did, was he as nice as you thought?”

“Even nicer!” Harry cheers.

“That’s good, little doe.” Regulus hums, “I’m glad that you got to see him this year.”

[clockwork-ashes]

Shake the Frost - Part II

Read on Ao3

Summary: Elain’s visions lead her to the human lands where she seeks answers from the one male she’s been avoiding—Lucien. As the two of them work together, the walls built between them begin to crumble.

Note: this is for the lovely @zenkindoflove for this year’s @acotargiftexchange <3 a HUGE thank you to those organising the event, i had the most fun!!!

Elain POV 

Elain stared at the paper in front of her, the pen hovering over the blank sheet until a drop of ink fell and scattered onto it. 

Blood dripping onto a fresh blanket of snow. 

“Lovely,” Elain muttered, setting the pen aside and crumpling up the ruined paper. She wasn’t able to focus on the task at hand, despite her efforts the last few days. It had been a week since she’d left the Night Court, and every letter she had penned had been filled with more of the same vague reassurances. 

Everything is fine. 

I’m just taking some time for myself. 

Don’t worry, and I’ll be back soon.

The words had all felt hollow when she’d read them out loud, and each of the letters she had written and signed had all been promptly tossed into the fireplace in the sitting room. 

Elain sighed, rubbing her eyes as the latest of her visions crept up on her, sharp and unwelcome. It was the same one she had shown to her mate when she’d first arrived at the manor, flashing in her mind like the briefest glimpse of a shooting star. 

Eris Vanserra, handsome in a cloak made of the finest silk, a crown of flames adorning his scarlet hair. 

Lucien handed a dagger to his brother, one made of Illyrian steel, blood on the silver edge. 

Ravens scattered into the air, their wings black against the grey sky. The cold scent of copper filled the air, mingling with the scent of something burning…

Elain gripped the edge of the table, forcing the vision out of her mind much easier than she had expected. She knew she couldn’t ignore the message it was trying to send, but she was glad all the same when she was once again simply staring at the kitchen tiles. It usually took a lot more of her energy, fighting the constant flood of images that pressed against her consciousness, but being near Lucien seemed to make it better. 

At first, Elain had thought it was mere coincidence, but after laying awake in the evenings only to sleep dreamlessly for seven nights, even she couldn’t deny there was a bit of magic to the bond between them. Lucien’s presence was like a quiet balm against the chaos, anchoring her in reality and pulling her out of any spiraling visions. While it still wasn’t enough to stop them entirely, the effects of the mating bond has not gone unnoticed by her. 

Elain tapped her short nails onto the wood of the table, looking at the remaining blank sheet of paper and the discarded pen she had borrowed from Jurian. With an exaggerated sigh, Elain slumped in her chair, defeated. 

She had started writing to Feyre, and every word had left a bitter taste in her mouth. Performative and insincere, she couldn’t find a way to explain her actions in a way that wouldn’t make them all worry about her.

The sound of a chair scraping across the floor interrupted her thoughts, and Elain straightened in her own seat. She glanced up to see Vassa, the sharp heels of her booted feet loud as she settled next to her. The other woman paused, one brow raised, her face a near impossible mixture of curiosity and disinterest.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, her voice steady. 

While there was no concern lining the words, Elain could admit that there was also no judgment. She let out a heavy breath, closing her eyes and rubbing her temples. “Everything,” she mumbled, exasperated. She combed her hands through her tangled curls, a small, frustrated noise escaping her lips.

Vassa clicked her tongue, a sound that almost made Elain smile. There was a teasing edge to it, the kind that could easily break through the weight of Elain’s frustration. “Are you always this dramatic?” Vassa asked, her dark eyes glinting with amusement, her question a friendly challenge. 

Elain laughed weakly, shaking her head. “If I write to my sisters, they’ll tell me to come back.” The words tumbled out before she could stop them. She knew Feyre and Nesta would demand she return to them, back to the safety of their circle, back to the comfort of Velaris. While they might be willing to help, Elain was certain they would also be the first voices telling her to stay behind. 

Sometimes, Elain had to remind herself that her sisters behaved that way only because they cared. 

Vassa tilted her head, her expression shifting to something far more curious. She scrunched her nose, clearly considering Elain’s words. “You don’t have to, though,” she said, her voice carrying the weight of someone who was used to giving orders instead of following them. “You can do as you like.”

Elain gave her a small, rueful smile. “I’m guessing you don’t have sisters?” she asked, her tone playful. She was surprised at how easy liking the human queen was. 

Vassa snorted in response, the sound louder than Elain had expected from someone of her status. “Even if I did, I wouldn’t be obligated to listen to them.”

Elain laughed quietly at that, the sound lighter than it had been in days. The simple words made her feel a little less alone, a little more understood. Vassa was right, of course, and Elain didn’t necessarily owe anyone explanations. 

“You don’t have to listen to me.” Vassa’s expression softened as she stood up slowly, tucking her chair in gently, giving Elain some space. “But the Cauldron gave you a very powerful ability, and I think that means something. And I think your sisters should trust you,” she said, her tone unexpectedly earnest.

Elain’s throat tightened at the reminder. She had considered being a Seer a curse for so long, a blessing and a burden. The Sight connected her to the world in ways that were both beautiful and terrible, and her visions could be lovely and vicious in equal measure. She frowned, her lips pulling downwards as she stared at her hands. 

Vassa didn’t wait for her to respond. With a soft shrug, she turned and left Elain alone at the table, her boots clicking daintily along the floors. Elain didn’t immediately return to her letter. She let the silence settle around her, the quiet that filled the space where Vassa had been. The weight of her words lingered in the air, like a promise.

Elain closed her eyes, the faint pull of the bond to Lucien humming in the background of her mind, soothing and grounding her. While it annoyed her slightly that a man was the cause, the reprieve it brought was enough for her to ignore the more bitter thoughts she usually had around the bond. 

When Lucien was near, it was as if she could finally breathe. 

No sooner had she relaxed, she felt the vaguest of chills along her spine. A vision creeped along her eyes, the kitchen disappearing from her sight. 

Blood scattered onto snow. 

Eris gripping a dagger, golden rings flashing. 

The gentle sound of whirring, a final click, before the dagger cut through flesh. 

Elain’s breath caught in her throat, and she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to banish the image, but it clung to her, sharp. Blowing at a strand of hair, the world sharpened back into focus. 

Elain grabbed the pen again, her hand shaking just slightly. She trusted her sisters, and a part of her believed that they trusted her too. She scrawled across the paper, her hand moving swiftly, though the words were no less difficult to find despite her new found confidence. 

Nesta and Feyre… 

Elain paused, her mind swimming in a sea of visions, and she sighed, feeling the pressure of the words she was about to write.

I’m fine. I promise.

LUCIEN POV

Lucien’s fingers hovered over the chessboard, nudging a knight forward with a sly grin. “Check,” he said, leaning back in his chair, russet eye gleaming.

Jurian didn’t flinch, his face a mask of concentration as he moved his queen with quiet precision. “You’re getting better, but not that good,” he teased, raising an eyebrow as he surveyed the board.

Lucien laughed, taking in the sight of the human general, wondering if he was still as sharp and quick-witted as he’d been on the battlefield centuries before. Their banter filled the room as the game continued, but it wasn’t long before a soft sound caught his attention, the light creak of the door opening.

Elain stepped into the room and his heart stuttered once in his chest. She had her cloak wrapped snugly around her shoulders, the dark fabric catching the flicker of light from the nearby hearth. The fire’s glow danced over her, but it was her presence that struck him the most. Her beauty was undeniable, and tonight, it seemed to have intensified. The dim moonlight filtering in through the arched windows made her eyes seem endless, there was a depth to them that pulled him in. She was staring directly at him, and for a heartbeat, he couldn’t look away.

“I’m going for a walk,” Elain announced, her voice quiet but resolute, a slight blush staining her cheekbones as she looked between him and Jurian.

Lucien’s gaze lingered on her, sensing the unspoken invitation in her words. He opened his mouth to respond, but before he could, Jurian cut in. Still looking at the board between them, he said, “Sounds lovely, I’ve been meaning to stretch my legs.” 

Elain’s lips parted, her blush deepening. The sight was both endearing and exasperating. She looked at Lucien, as if expecting him to speak and intervene on her behalf. She tugged at the bond between them, like a rough yank on a string tied to his rib. Lucien’s breath caught in his throat as he glared at his friend, golden eye clicking into place. 

Jurian raised a broad hand, a rook between his fingers. “I’m kidding,” he added with a grin. 

Elain laughed awkwardly, the sound a mix of relief and embarrassment. Lucien rolled his eyes, offering her a long-suffering look as he stood up, giving her a small smile. “Let me grab my coat.”

The moment stretched out, and without a word, Lucien stepped into the hall, pulling on his boots before he took hold of his jacket. He could feel Elain’s eyes on him as he shrugged on the dark wool coat, the familiar weight of it grounding him. He turned back to her, holding the door open, his chest tight with an emotion he didn’t want to name.

Elain stepped past him, her breath coming out in small clouds as she elegantly stepped down the stone stairs of the manor. The night was still, save for the soft crunch of snow beneath their boots. Lucien kept a glamour up, a faint shimmer around them to let her know he had done so. 

There was a part of Lucien that was glad they would remain hidden from view, a feeling that was as though the world beyond the spell didn’t exist.

The air was crisp and cold, the faintest touch of winter biting at his skin no matter how warm his blood ran. He kept his gaze ahead, but he could feel Elain’s presence close beside him, her steps matching his pace in the quiet of the night.

It was his mate who broke the silence, her voice soft, but the words still sharp with meaning. “Can you help me send a letter to the Night Court?”

Relief washed over him, knowing that the sooner Feyre and Rhysand knew where Elain was, the less trouble he would have explaining himself. 

“Who should I send it to?” Lucien asked, his voice steady, although his mind was already working through the necessary steps he would have to take to make her wish a reality. 

“Nesta,” Elain replied without hesitation. Her tone was firm, as if she had made her decision long before she had even asked for his help. “If you can get it to Nesta first, I’m sure she’ll show it to Feyre.”

Lucien nodded, understanding. He glanced at her, taking in the way she tucked a curl behind her pointed ear. The vision she had shared with him weighed heavily on his mind. He had tried not to dwell on the fact that she was able to show others what she saw, but he was very impressed that she had learned how to manipulate her magic without help from others. 

“If we can also send a letter to Autumn?” Elain’s voice cut through his thoughts.

Lucien furrowed his brow, the scarred side pulling uncomfortably as he glanced at her. “Who would you need to speak with in Autumn?” Even though he already knew the answer, he might as well hope that she’d change her mind. 

Elain looked up at him with her full lips pressed into a firm line. There was a silent challenge in her dark gaze, as if to say that he already knew the answer. 

Lucien ran a hand through his hair, holding back a small smile. “I’ll take care of it,” he said, his voice soft and determined.

Elain took a slow, steadying breath, a perfect little cloud in the cold night. She grabbed his hand, a gentle tug, just enough to stop him in his tracks. She was wearing gloves, a barrier between them despite the contact. She turned her head to look at him, her eyes warm despite the chill in the air, and the moment felt as if time had stretched itself thin.

“Thank you,” she said, her voice low but sincere.

He felt a rush of warmth flood through him at her words. “Of course,” Lucien answered instinctively, before realizing how hollow the words might have sounded to her ears. 

Before he could say anything more, Elain surprised him again. She linked her fingers with his own, pulling him as a reminder to move so they could continue to walk. 

Elain didn’t let go of his hand, a ruby blush staining her cheeks. She held on tightly, and Lucien dragged his thumb across her knuckles, letting her lead. 

[robintheoriedbyler]

Swing sets…. Mike finally gets all his emotions out

Mike stumbles to the ground of the swing sets, digging his knees into the ground and covering his chest, banging, hoping that it would stop. Looking up at the swings, eyes puffy, tears running down, remembering Will being his friend, everything… he thinks, for what? To lie.

Will comes up running behind Mike, sweating, but he doesn’t care, he needs to tell Mike, so shutting his eyes closed he does… or will he be interrupted.

Will: Mike… yes El was telling the tru—

Mike stands up furiously and walks over to Will, his eyes a dark anger now, like he could rip out all his hair and watch it fall to the ground.

Will never realised he could hurt Mike, like this, Mike was always the type to set emotions aside… it was time to let Mike speak.

Mike: You— what’s WRONG WITH YOU, you think THAT’S NICE YOU THINK EVERYTHING IS A JOKE, HUH?

Will stammers on his words unable to speak, trying to pick up his words but he stays silent.

Mike: YOU THINK THAT EVERYTHING IS JUST ONE BIG GAME OF D&D. That everyone gets a happy ending, NO SOME OF US …. SOME OF US ARE TRYING SO FUCKING HARD TO BE NORMAL.

Will didn’t understand or comprehend Mikes words, he needed to say something to let Mike know, no he doesn’t, life hurts, life eats him up everyday, if it wasn’t for Mike… he thinks he wouldn’t be here.

Will: Y-you think I’m not trying to be normal?

Will eyes teared up, shining through the darkness of the night, the moon illuminated the sky like it was apart of who they were.

Will: EVERY SINGLE DAY, it’s been so fucking HARD, I DON’T KNOW HOW TO KEEP GOIN—-

Mike: HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL, THEN … THEN MAKING ME FEEL FUCKING CRAZY ABOUT THOSE WORDS YOU SAID, that could finally think I’ve done … good enough to know I can deserve something.

Will looked up to his eyes, seeing all the distress, all the hurt that’s been brought up to this moment, where he thinks he never be deemed “normal or have something to make him feel worthy”.

Will brought one foot closer to Mike, everything felt like it was spinning, putting one hand on the back of his head, brushing and fluffing his small curls, staring deep into his eyes.

Mike could sense the change, the way Wills words always made a difference, in every moment it seemed like nothing else could ever fade away.

Will closed his eyes and finally spoke.

Will: Everything I said … was true, except I used El as a shield of armour to take away my pain and suffering to offer you my heart.

Mike saw Wills eyes closed, tears staining his eyes, he never thought this day could ever replica that moment back on the swings, the best thing he’d ever done.

Reaching one hand out towards his hair and brushing back his bangs a little, to see the furrow and worry of Wills eyebrows, his eyelids flickering like he was a light that got tainted by the upside down, where his eye bags meet, his face looking like he was fighting so hard to survive.

Mike looked at everything, continuing to run his hands through the boys hair, Wills eyes finally opened up and stared back at Mike.

The moon stared back at them as if nothing could possibly ever lie, the swings mimicked the children laughing on the playground, running around, the air that surrounded them didn’t take their breath away only each others presence.

Caressing Wills face with his palm, he closed the distance with their foreheads, tears now staining both the boys eyes.

Will: I guess, even from back then to now, things still haven’t changed, still crazy. For once, it makes me feel normal.

Mike slowly pushed away Will tears with his thumb, sinking into Wills soft skin.

Will needed Mike to know, that he is worthy, so fucking worthy, he sees Mike in a light that… he hurts to say that nobody else does.

Mike lets go of Wills face, about to do something, once more that would be the best decision he’s ever made, but Will interrupts him first this time.

The other boy looked deep into his eyes, reaching his hands up and caressing his face, like Mike once did for Will a few seconds ago, circling his cheekbones with his thumb and gave them both the courage to fight, for each other, so he leaned in.

Leaned in because this world was merely enough for Will Byers and Mike Wheeler, sabotaging the life they thought could never have but finally releasing it all.

Their lips brushed together, like the world could finally accept Mike and Will.

Will leaned back and Mike leaned forward, cupping his face and leaning back in.

This was the moment that could change life times of hatred towards there life, it was an opening, a window that never shut but stayed open as the sun revealed itself, basking in each others presence.

[blushsturns]

❆ christmas in the park ❆

title: christmas in the park

pairing: matt sturniolo x fem! reader

description: matt takes you downtown to look at christmas lights and has a surprise for you.

warnings: use of y/n, pet names (princess, baby, etc), pure fluff!

this time of year was your absolute favorite. the shiny christmas lights, holiday cheer, christmas music, hot chocolate, spending time with your loved ones. it was a time where everyone seemed more happier than usual.

you and matt have been dating for a year. it's been an amazing year together and you have created so many beautiful memories. your families are getting together for the holidays. everybody could see how happy matt made you. things just felt peaceful and joyful. you finally felt like you were at a great place in your life.

it was christmas eve. matt held your hand as you walk along the path in the park, admiring the beautiful christmas lights. matt took you downtown to get dinner and look at the christmas lights. he knew it was your favorite time of year and he wanted to make it extra special for you.

dinner was absolutely wonderful and even though you both were full, you couldn't go home without walking along the park to admire all the beautiful lights. distant christmas music plays in the background, but all that surrounds you is chatter among other bystanders who had the same exact idea you both had. there were carts all around with people selling hot chocolate, snacks, and glow sticks for people who wanted them.

it was a chilly night, some snowflakes dusting in the sky, but not fully sticking to the ground. you took in a breath, a cloud immediately forming and evaporating in the sky from how cold it was. your fingers intertwined with matt's and gripped onto his hand tightly. you looked over at him to admire his features. he was oblivious to your stare; you could sense he was nervous all night, but you weren't sure why. he seemed to have his mind on something. your boyfriend was more on the quiet side compared to his brothers, but he opened up with you so effortlessly.

"matt, baby. you okay?" you gave his hand another squeeze as you continue to stare at him. he seemed like he was in a trance as his eyes were focused on the christmas tree in front of you both. you both reached the middle of the park where the tree was and found a bench to sit down at. you immediately turned your body to look over at him, concern and worry evident all over your face.

matt instantly turns his body to look at you once you both have sat down, placing his hands in yours on his lap and giving them a tight squeeze. he took in a deep breath, nervousness appearing all over his face. he bit on his bottom lip, staring down at both of your hands in his lap before back up into your eyes. he looked so fucking adorable in his winter beanie hat and puffer jacket. "i need to ask you something." was all that came out of his mouth.

your heart immediately began to pick up speed at his words. you and matt have had the most beautiful relationship you've ever experienced. the kind of love you see in the movies, or read in books. your walls came down with him immediately and you trusted him with your whole heart and soul. of course you were nervous of what he may ask, even though you knew deep down in your heart it would never be anything horrible. matt was an amazing guy. he was so good to you.

you nod your head slowly, gulping slowly as you run the pad of your thumb along the back of his hand. "you can ask me anything."

he moved one of his hands away from yours to begin to reach into his puffer jacket and fumbled his hand around before pulling something out, but you weren't able to tell due to the only light you both had were the christmas tree and the lights displayed around you. he took in a deep breath before suddenly he getting up from the bench and was now on his knee. your eyes widened in surprise as you came to realize what was about to happen, but you didn't say a word. not yet. you couldn't speak, your eyes just continued to follow his movements.

he looked up at you with his beautiful blue eyes, a small smile staying on his face as he took in a deep breath before he started to speak. "y/n, you have changed my world for the better. i don't even remember what life was like before i met you and i don't care to remember. you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. you make me a better person. you keep me grounded, you call me out on my bullshit, you love me even when i drive you crazy. you're the most beautiful person i have ever laid eyes on. you're the only one i want to love for the rest of my life. i want to spend the rest of my life with you. i want to make so many amazing memories, go on fun trips, spend time with our loved ones, have babies, grow old together. i want to hold your hand through this crazy life for the rest of my life. i promise to continue to make you happy and treat you with kindness and love and respect."

your heart was beating rapidly in your chest, tears forming in your eyes as he squeezed onto your hands tightly. "so with that being said." he pulled open the velvet box and displayed a beautiful shiny diamond ring that could've blinded you if you let it. it was absolutely beautiful. "y/n, would you do the honors of being my wife, making me the most lucky man alive and marrying me?"

you couldn't speak for a moment. your heart felt like it was soaring out of your chest. tears prickled down your cheeks as your hands shook. all of your life you dreamt of this moment. that one day someone would love you enough to want to be with you for the rest of your life. you couldn't believe this was happening in this very moment with the love of your life. you realized you were probably not speaking for too long and may be making him nervous. he'd be a fool to think you'd say no.

all you could do was immediately nod your head ecstatically, tears rolling down your cheeks even more by the second before you finally found your words. "yes yes! of course i'll marry you!"

the look of nervousness on matt's face disappeared and immediately turned soft, his lips curving up into the biggest grin. all around was applause, clapping, and cheering. looks like you both had a small crowd who were cheering you guys on and was impatiently waiting for your reply. you didn't care about the crowd right now. all that you could focus on was matt and the beautiful ring he was now sliding onto your finger.

the ring was so shiny and beautiful and totally you. he knew you so well. you immediately got up on your feet and wrapped your arms around his neck to pull him into a tight hug. your bodies pressed up together as your placed your face in the crook of his neck, your tears wetting the hem of his jacket. he wrapped his arms back around you, his taller frame pulling you close into his chest and resting his head onto yours, rocking you back and forth into his arms. "i love you, i love you, i love you." he muttered against your hair softly as he ran one of his hands up and down your back through the fabric of your coat.

you pulled away to immediately grab his face in your hands, your eyes capturing the beautiful ring that was now on your finger as your hand rested on his face. "you make me feel like the happiest, most luckiest girl alive." you say softly, your cheeks now stained with tears.

matt immediately placed both of his his hands onto your face as well, using the pad of his thumbs to wipe the tears from your cheek. he leaned forward and immediately placed his lips onto yours in a sweet, loving kiss. you leaned forward into him, moving both of your hands to place around his neck once again to pull him even possibly closer. your eyes fluttered closed as you kissed him back, kissing him deeply, a happy sigh emitting from your lips against the kiss.

"merry christmas, princess." he muttered against the kiss, his arms now wrapping around your waist, not wanting to let you go any time soon.

yeah, it was safe to say this time of year will always be your absolute favorite.

i hope you guys enjoyed this cute little holiday blurb! i just had to write something cutesy with matt! if you have any requests, don't hesitate to send them to my inbox! thank you and happy holidays everyone!

-nessa ღ

[vesanal]

₊˚｡⋆❆⋆｡˚₊The 20th Day of Writemas₊˚｡⋆❆⋆｡˚₊

HEY. SO. OKAY. I KNOW. I was SOOO busy today y’all (plus my long ass nap didn’t help with my time management). It’s going to be REALLY short. Sorry!!! Love y’all so much, hope ya understand! Here is the invite post and here are the prompts I’ll be doing today! :D

Prompts used:

Feeling: The ache of a smile

Dialogue: "My feelings will never change. But by God, I wish they would."

A bit short but it’s going to be worth the long longgg wait. Still sorry about that lmao. Going back to Perce again because he is pretty cool and I haven’t written for him in a bit (if you don’t count the one line of dialogue he got some time ago).

Read about the WIP here!!

Hope ya likey! 

------------------------------

Perci stared out over the stone ledge of the balcony. A view like this was an extraordinary sight to take in. Dawn’s early light reached across the sky and scooped the darkness of night into its arms, creating a landscape of bright orange and sunkissed pinks. He grazed his hand across the smoothe stone finish of the ledge he leaned over. Tracing the grooves on the light colored slate, he looked across the city’s streets. Not many populated the streets at this time of day. Most were already hard at work, having no time to play around but rather work in the vast town square. 

He shifted his focus over to the square, to the shopkeepers and merchants. Not long ago he was doing the same thing as they were. Though, he was very sure they were in a better circumstance than he was, being in the capitol and all. 

Perci rolled his eyes at himself and continued where he left off in his gaze. Happy faces and rosy cheeks filled the area. Everyone was doing their job, their part to survive. Yet somehow, their smiles created a sense of longing and uncertainty within him. He wasn’t sure whether to invite the feeling in or not. It was all just so messy now. Pain set in, he really wanted to feel the familiar warmth of his home. But he couldn’t right now. He has to do what he’s supposed to do. 

Perking up from his lean, Perci caught himself in his misery. Something bubbling beneath the surface ate away at him still. His mind wanted to reject it while body was in open arms to it. Trying to clear his head, he closed his eyes and let the mild winds pass into him much like his thoughts did. Everything and everyone came to mind. He couldn’t stop it.

"My feelings will never change. But by God, I wish they would." He breathed out with a shaking trill. 

------------------------------

(PLEASE tell me if you wanna get added to a tag list here because I genuinely don't know who to tag lol. I'll edit this and add you in!! <3 )

TAGLIST SO FAR: @sunflowerrosy @seastarblue

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Our wonderful host <3 → @agirlandherquill Have a lovely day everyone!!

[paganmind]

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE YULETIDE

Twas the night before Yuletide and all through the glen

Not a creature was stirring, not a fox, not a hen.

A mantle of snow shone brightly that night

As it lay on the ground, reflecting moonlight.

The faeries were nestled all snug in their trees,

Unmindful of flurries and a chilly north breeze.

The elves and the gnomes were down in their burrows,

Sleeping like babes in their soft earthen furrows.

When low! The earth moved with a thunderous quake,

Causing chairs to fall over and dishes to break.

The Little Folk scrambled to get on their feet

Then raced to the river where they usually meet.

“What happened?” they wondered, they questioned, they probed,

As they shivered in night clothes, some bare-armed, some robed.

“What caused the earth’s shudder? What caused her to shiver?”

They all spoke at once as they stood by the river.

Then what to their wondering eyes should appear

But a shining gold light in the shape of a sphere.

It blinked and it twinkled, it winked like an eye,

Then it flew straight up and was lost in the sky.

Before they could murmur, before they could bustle,

There emerged from the crowd, with a swish and a rustle,

A stately old crone with her hand on a cane,

Resplendent in green with a flowing white mane.

As she passed by them the old crone’s perfume,

Smelling of meadows and flowers abloom,

Made each of the fey folk think of the spring

When the earth wakes from slumber and the birds start to sing.

“My name is Gaia,” the old crone proclaimed

in a voice that at once was both wild and tamed,

“I’ve come to remind you, for you seem to forget,

that Yule is the time of re-birth, and yet…”

“I see no hearth fires, hear no music, no bells,

The air isn’t filled with rich fragrant smells

Of baking and roasting, and simmering stews,

Of cider that’s mulled or other hot brews.”

“There aren’t any children at play in the snow,

Or houses lit up by candles’ glow.

Have you forgotten, my children, the fun

Of celebrating the rebirth of the sun?”

She looked at the fey folk, her eyes going round,

As they shuffled their feet and stared at the ground.

Then she smiled the smile that brings light to the day,

“Come, my children,” she said, “Let’s play.”

They gathered the mistletoe, gathered the holly,

Threw off the drab and drew on the jolly.

They lit a big bonfire, and they danced and they sang.

They brought out the bells and clapped when they rang.

They strung lights on the trees, and bows, oh so merry,

In colors of cranberry, bayberry, cherry.

They built giant snowmen and adorned them with hats,

Then surrounded them with snow birds, and snow cats and bats.

Then just before dawn, at the end of their fest,

Before they went homeward to seek out their rest,

The fey folk they gathered ‘round their favorite oak tree

And welcomed the sun ‘neath the tree’s finery.

They were just reaching home when it suddenly came,

The gold light returned like an arrow-shot flame.

It lit on the tree top where they could see from afar

The golden-like sphere turned into a star.

The old crone just smiled at the beautiful sight,

“Happy Yuletide, my children,” she whispered. “Good night.”

[draconicfool]

     He was quiet as he lit up his cigarette once the were outside. Quiet as he watched the sky ahead. Amethyst eyes following the clouds before they focused on the little white blips that could be made out. Growing up, he swore he'd been able to see more. Or maybe, there was more to be said about how life had seemed brighter back then.

     Back when he'd had his whole life ahead of him. Not that he didn't anymore, but he'd had more hope back then. Believed that things could actually go well if he just worked hard enough. If he tried his best and helped people. Nowadays, most of those dreams had been dashed. Even if he was still trying where he could.

     A quiet drag on the cigarette before he blew the smoke out of his nose. “ I used t' come out here with Daddy all th' time. He'd show me all th' constellations and tell me stories like they were outta some fairy tale. I remember we sat right over there and jus' watched th' sky change f'er hours. ” A wistful sigh escaped him as he took another long drag. Just staring up at the sky as he inhaled before blowing it out again. Those days had been so much easier to felt like. Sometimes he wished the old man was still here. Maybe then he wouldn't be as jaded as he was. Somehow Alexi had always held out hope. Somehow. 

     “ Y'er surprisin'ly easy t' talk to. ” Eros spoke quietly, his trail wrapping around both of his legs to help keep him a bit warmer in the cold night air. “ S'actually… really nice. ”

Itto would watch Eros as the doctor grabbed a cup and poured some water into it before adding a tea diffuser. As the doctor nodded at his offer of a smoke he'd push himself to his feet and wait for Eros to move to whichever door they were going to be exiting through. It had gotten a bit darker but that was due to how long the other had slept.

Most people likely wouldn't want a mafia member inside their house while they slept, but Itto hadn't tried to do anything to the other, and he wouldn't. There was no reason for him to attack or harm the doctor. Especially since the other was doing so much good for the people who couldn't afford care at any of the many hospitals in the city proper. It was sickening that most doctors only cared about the money not the patients.

"It'd just been a thought, I'd contemplated makin' ya somethin' that would help ya is all," Itto hadn't in the end though, he didn't want to accidentally offend Eros or anything like that. He had the list of things that were needed for the clinic in his phone still, and he'd contacted his connections for the stuff, including the oxygen tank that Eros' neighbor needed for her husband. Most of the stuff would likely already be sitting in delivery boxes outside his mansions gate, the rest would likely show up in the morning.

He'd fish his cigarette case out of his pocket and open it to allow Eros to grab one of them, he'd grab one for himself afterward. He'd also pull his zippo out and flick it open, holding the lit flame out so Eros could light his cigarette first, he'd light his afterward. "It's nice to see the stars, my place isn't in the main part of the city, but it's not so far removed that I can see the stars that often." He'd take a drag off his cigarette before releasing the smoke as a sigh. Though he'd look up a bit more just to see more of those stars if he could.

[aimseytv]

[acourtofquestions]

Boots crunched in hay, and then he was knee to knee before her.

Aedion.

There was nothing kind on his face. No pity or warmth.

For a long minute, they only stared at each other.

Then the prince growled softly, "Your plan was bullshit."

She said nothing, and couldn't stop her shoulders from curving inward.

"Your plan was bullshit," he breathed, his eyes sparking. "How could you ever be her, wear her skin, and think to get away with it? How could you ever think you'd get around the fact that our armies are counting on you to burn the enemy to ashes, and all you can do is run away and emerge as some beast instead?"

"You don't get to pin this retreat on me," she rasped. The first words she'd spoken in days and days.

"You agreed to let Aelin go to her death, and leave us here to be slashed to bloody ribbons. You two told no one of this plan, told none of us who might have explained the realities of this war, and that we would need a gods-damned Fire-Bringer and not an untrained, useless shape-shifter against Morath."

Blow after blow, the words landed upon her weary heart. "We—"

"If you were so willing to let Aelin die, then you should have let her do it after she incinerated Erawan's hordes!"

"It would not have stopped Maeve from capturing her."

"If you'd told us, we might have planned differently, acted differently, and we would not be here, damn you!"

She stared at the muddy hay. "Throw me out of your army, then."

"You ruined everything." His words were colder than the wind outside. "You, and her."

Lysandra closed her eyes.

Hay rustled, and she knew he'd risen to his feet, knew it as his words speared from above her bowed head. "Get out of my tent."

She wasn't certain she could move enough to obey, though she wished to. Needed to. Fight back. She should fight back. Rage at him as he lashed at her, needing an outlet for his fear and despair.

Lysandra opened her eyes, peering up at him. At the rage on his face, the hatred She managed to stand, her body bleating in pain. Managed to look him in the eye, even as Aedion said again with quiet cold, "Get out."

Barefoot in the snow, naked beneath her cloak. Aedion glanced at her bare legs, as if realizing it. And not caring.

So Lysandra nodded, clutching Ansel's cloak tighter, and strode into the frigid night.

"Where is she?" Ren asked, a mug of what smelled like watery soup in one hand, a chunk of bread in the other. The lord scanned the tent as if he would find her under the cot, the hay.

Aedion stared at the precious few logs burning in the brazier, and said nothing.

"What have you done?" Ren breathed.

Everything was about to end. Had been doomed since Maeve had stolen Aelin. Since his queen and the shifter had struck their agreement.

So it didn't matter, what he'd said. He hadn't cared if it wasn't fair, wasn't true.

Didn't care if he was so tired he couldn't muster shame at his pinning on her the blame for the sure defeat they'd face in a matter of days before Perranth's walls.

He wished she'd smacked him, had screamed at him. But she had let him rage. And had walked out into the snow, barefoot.

He'd promised to save Terrasen, to hold the lines. Had done so for years. And yet this test against Morath, when it had counted ... he had failed.

He’d muster the strength to fight again. To rally his men. He just ... he needed to sleep.

Aedion didn't notice when Ren left, undoubtedly in search of the shifter with who he was so damned enamored.

He should summon his Bane commanders. See how they thought to manage this disaster.

But he couldn't. Could do nothing but stare into that fire as the long night passed.

[silenceoflink]

The moon is huge where i'm at. It's a chonker tonight. It's a shame i don't have a proper camera to take a picture of it

[officerwhitmore]

Vince’s laughter dissolved into the cool night air as Tony began to approach, the giddy lightness of their duel giving way to something weightier, more intricate. His breath came fast and shallow, not just from exertion but from the quiet gravity of watching Tony close the distance between them. Vince could feel the ground beneath him, the damp chill of the grass soaking into his robes, but the rest of the world seemed to fade into irrelevance as Tony loomed larger with every step.

From where Vince sat, sprawled and still slightly breathless, Tony’s size was staggering. The man’s broad shoulders blocked out chunks of the night sky, turning the glow of distant stars into fragmented pinpricks that danced in the dark waves of his hair. Tony didn’t just walk—he moved with the kind of deliberate ease that made the earth seem like it bent to his will, his long strides unhurried but carrying an undeniable weight. And yet, what struck Vince most wasn’t the size of him, or the commanding way he seemed to fill every inch of space. It was his face.

There, in the lines of Tony’s mouth and the faint crinkle near his eyes, was something Vince couldn’t name. Admiration? Maybe. But it felt more expansive, like the soft warmth of sunlight on cold skin. It was genuine, unflinching, a kind of quiet openness Vince hadn’t realized he was starved for until it was right in front of him. He could feel it settling over him, pressing gently into the spaces guilt had left hollow, and it made his chest ache in ways he didn’t entirely understand.

He stared up at Tony, his laughter long gone, replaced by a lopsided, unguarded grin that he didn’t have the strength—or maybe the will—to suppress. The edges of the world blurred until there was only Tony, standing tall against the dark canopy of stars. Vince’s breath hitched as light caught in the glossy waves of Tony’s hair, giving him the appearance of something ethereal. Otherworldly. What the hell are you doing? Vince’s chest tightened with the thought, but he didn’t look away.

“Daddy, did you see that?” June’s voice broke through Vince’s fog, triumphant but not gloating, her excitement spilling out in bright, breathless tones. Her cheeks were flushed from exertion, her hands gripping her lightsaber tightly as it hummed faintly in the quiet. “That was the coolest thing ever, right? Like, an actual Jedi duel! I mean, your moves were so good. And did you see my flip? Totally nailed it!”

Vince forced a smile, the heaviness in his chest lightened by her enthusiasm. “You were incredible, monkey,” he said, his voice steady but still catching slightly on the words. “That flip was... Jedi Academy-level impressive. And I guess I had a few good moves too.”

“Are you kidding?!” June exclaimed, twirling her saber absentmindedly, the purple glow casting flashes across her flushed face. “You were awesome, Daddy! That spin you did? I thought I was toast!” She glanced at Tony, her eyes lighting up. “Toto, you saw it too, right? Daddy was amazing! And I was pretty great, too. Like, we could totally be in one of those movies. No, better—we could have our own series!”

Vince chuckled softly, shaking his head as he met her sparkling gaze. “Alright, Jedi Master June, don’t let it go to your head,” he teased.

June’s grin widened, her face glowing with pride. “I think I need to practice more, though. Just to make sure I’m ready for next time.” With that, she turned on her heel, swinging her saber through the air with playful precision, lost in her imaginary choreography.

But Vince barely registered her anymore. His focus had shifted entirely to Tony, who stood over him, his frame imposing but not oppressive, dark against the starlit sky. Tony’s presence filled the space between them, not just in his size but in the quiet steadiness of his movements. His hand extended downward, palm open, fingers roughened by work, faint scars and calluses visible even in the dim light. For a moment, Vince just stared, his chest tightening. How could a hand look so familiar yet feel so foreign? How could something be so steady, so grounding, and yet so electrifying at the same time? His pulse quickened, the sound of his own heartbeat filling his ears as he hesitated, the weight of Tony’s presence pressing down on him like gravity.

And then, slowly, reluctantly, Vince let his fingers slip into Tony’s.

The warmth of the contact hit Vince like a spark—sudden, undeniable, and all-consuming. Tony’s palm, rough and calloused, pressed against his smoother skin, sending a shiver of sensation up his arm. The contrast between them was grounding and disorienting all at once, and Vince’s breath hitched as his vision blurred, the present moment bleeding seamlessly into a memory that surged forward, sharp and vivid.

In the memory, he was in Tony’s apartment again. The faint scent of aftershave and something earthy lingered in the air, wrapping around him like a cocoon. Tony’s hand had taken his, firm but careful, pulling him closer with a quiet strength that was impossible to resist. Vince remembered the slight stumble that followed, his chest brushing against Tony’s solid frame. He’d looked down at their joined hands then, struck by how easily Tony’s larger grip enveloped his own. The roughness of Tony’s palm had been disarming, strangely intimate, and the realization that Vince wasn’t the one holding someone else up for once had hit him hard—unfamiliar but achingly welcome.

When Vince had finally looked up, his neck craning to meet Tony’s gaze, the intensity in those dark eyes had left him breathless. Warm and intent, they were filled with something Vince didn’t dare name but couldn’t look away from. Then Tony’s other hand had lifted, rough yet impossibly gentle as it cupped Vince’s face, fingertips grazing his jaw. Vince had felt himself unravel, layer by layer, until there was nothing left but the raw truth of how much he wanted this—how much he wanted Tony.

The kiss that followed had been overwhelming, hungry and deliberate in a way that set every nerve alight. Vince could still feel the heat of it, the way it had stolen his breath and melted the edges of his thoughts. The solid press of the wall against his back, the tangle of Tony’s fingers in his hair, the firm pressure of Tony pinning his hand to the wall—it was all etched into him, vivid and inescapable. For the first time in what felt like forever, Vince had been held instead of holding, and the safety of it had been intoxicating.

The memory dissolved as Tony’s grip on his hand tightened, pulling him firmly back into the present. Vince blinked, his breath catching as Tony steadied him and drew him to his feet. The motion made Vince stumble slightly, and his other hand instinctively reached out, landing against Tony’s chest. The solid warmth beneath his palm sent another jolt through him, grounding him even as it threatened to unravel him all over again. Tony’s body radiated heat in the cool night air, his scent faint but unmistakable. Vince’s gaze drifted upward, catching the faint stubble along Tony’s jawline, the curve of his lips—terribly tempting. The memory of their kiss lingered, painfully vivid, the taste and feel of it echoing in Vince’s mind. His breath grew shallow, his pulse hammering in his ears as his hand reflexively squeezed Tony’s, holding on tighter than he intended.

It would take nothing—nothing at all—to close the small distance between them. Just a slight tilt of his head, a lean forward, and—

“Daddy, look! A bunny!” June’s voice rang out, bright and oblivious, piercing the haze like a sudden jolt. Vince startled, his hand jerking back from Tony’s as if it had been burned. He turned sharply, his heart pounding wildly, his face already burning with heat. A flash of white darted into the bushes, and Vince spotted the small rabbit she’d pointed out, its movements quick and skittish.

“Wha—oh, yeah, I see it!” Vince forced out, his voice too loud and tinged with a nervous laugh. He took a wide step back from Tony, scrubbing a hand over his face as if that could erase the heat rising in his cheeks. “Quick, Jedi Master June, better practice your Force powers before it gets away!”

June, thankfully, was too engrossed in the rabbit to pick up on the tension crackling in the air. Vince shoved his lightsaber into the folds of his robe with a haphazard flourish, running a hand through his hair as though it might clear the heat still prickling at the back of his neck. His laugh came out shakier than he wanted, tumbling awkwardly into the cold night. “Guess I’ve got to work on my situational awareness,” he said, forcing a grin that didn’t quite meet his eyes. “Bunnies and Jedi Masters everywhere tonight.”

He glanced at Tony, catching the other man’s gaze for just a second before looking away again, his nervous humor still clinging to the edges of his voice. “Anyway, thanks for humoring us. June, say goodbye to Toto—it’s time to head home.”

June spun on her heel, lightsaber still raised high like a triumphant beacon. “Bye, Toto! Thanks for dinner!” she chirped, her voice carrying a contagious energy that made Vince’s smile falter into something softer, more genuine. She waved the glowing saber in a wide, exaggerated arc. “I’ll see you next time!”

The simplicity of her words made Vince’s stomach twist. Next time. She said it so easily, so assuredly, as if Tony was already cemented in their lives. Vince tried not to think about the weight of that assumption, the quiet fragility of it.

He turned to Tony again, offering a lopsided smile that didn’t quite hide the lingering flush in his cheeks. “Yeah, thanks, man,” he said, his voice quieter now, almost hesitant. “It was… good seeing you.”

Tony’s silhouette against the soft glow of the festival lights felt far too permanent for something that couldn’t last. Vince hesitated for half a breath, then took June’s hand, her small fingers curling around his as they headed back to the Rogue. Her chatter filled the space between them, bright and unfiltered, a jarring counterpoint to the quiet ache pooling in Vince’s chest.

“Daddy, wasn’t Toto the best?” June’s voice was effervescent, spilling over with pure delight. “He’s so funny! Did you hear when he said he’d rather eat Winnie the Pooh than a bear? That was hilarious!” She giggled, twirling her lightsaber like a baton, the purple glow streaking wild arcs of light across the parking lot.

Vince bit back a laugh, his lips quirking into a faint smile despite the tightness coiling low in his stomach. That wasn’t actually what Tony had said, but he couldn’t bring himself to correct her. Her version was better, anyway—brighter. “Yeah, monkey,” he said softly, his voice thick with something he couldn’t name. “It was funny.”

“And he actually watched the whole duel!” June went on, her excitement building with every word. “Like, he wasn’t even on his phone or anything! Most grown-ups don’t do that.”

Vince chuckled, the sound quieter than hers but no less real. His free hand brushed over the key fob in his pocket, and the Rogue’s lights flashed obediently in response. “Yeah,” he murmured, his chest tightening as he stared ahead, watching the way her lightsaber blurred into the dark. “He’s… something else, isn’t he?” She didn’t hear the weight in his words, too caught up in her own delight, and Vince was grateful for that.

“I mean, did you see him cheering?” June’s voice bubbled over with excitement as they walked toward the car, her lightsaber twirling in her hand. “He didn’t even care when I missed a few moves! He was just like”—she threw her arm out in an exaggerated gesture, puffing her chest and pitching her voice into a thick, exaggerated drawl—“‘Boy howdy, June, your lightsaber skills sure buttered my biscuits!’”

Vince stopped mid-step, caught completely off guard, and then doubled over, his laughter spilling out like an uncontrollable flood. “Oh my god, monkey,” he wheezed, a hand clutching at his chest. “Did you really have to go with the most awkward phrase possible? ‘Buttered my biscuits?’”

June giggled, her grin triumphant. “It’s what he sounded like! I nailed it, didn’t I?” she said, twirling her saber with the flair of someone who had just conquered the galaxy. “I mean, you can totally hear him saying that.”

“Yeah, I definitely can now,” Vincent chuckled, his brow arching as he caught his breath. “So, uh, thanks for that, Junie. Really. You’ve blessed me with a mental image I’ll never unsee.” His tone dripped with sarcasm, but his grin betrayed the warmth beneath it.

June laughed louder, her energy radiating in waves. She spun back toward him, her purple blade slicing through the cold night air. “And your spin was so awesome, Daddy. I thought you were gonna hit me, but you didn’t. It was so Jedi!”

Vince softened, his humor subsiding as he looked at her, that endless spark of joy in her eyes. “Well, I’ve had a little practice,” he said with a smile, though there was a faint edge of wistfulness beneath it. “But you stole the show, no question.”

“Yeah, but it was so fun because you were awesome too,” June said, her voice earnest, warm, and a little breathless. “We were like the coolest Jedi team ever.”

Her words hung in the air, bright and unfiltered, spreading through Vince like sunlight breaking through a canopy. He smiled, small and genuine, unable to stop himself. For just a moment, he let himself exist in her joy, in the way she bounced on her toes, her lightsaber twirling lazily in her grip. This was why he tried, why he fought to show up for her even when he felt like he was failing. Moments like these made it all worth it.

But as June skipped ahead toward the Rogue, her words echoed in his ears, and a different weight began to settle in his chest. She was already so taken with Tony—so comfortable with him, so quick to trust and adore him. It wasn’t just the way she imitated his voice, exaggerated Texan drawl and all, or how she practically glowed when recounting the duel. It was deeper than that. Her affection flowed toward Tony as naturally as sunlight bending toward a flower, unguarded and instinctive. And why wouldn’t it? Tony had been everything Stella wasn’t. Patient, kind, present in a way Vince had struggled to be consistently. Tony hadn’t flinched from June’s enthusiasm, hadn’t treated her as an obligation to be managed or a distraction to endure. He’d leaned in, met her where she was, and somehow managed to make her feel like the most important person in the world for those few hours. Vince knew how rare that kind of connection was—how much it meant to a kid like June.

But that knowledge didn’t soften the edges of Vince’s guilt. If anything, it sharpened them. What if he’d been reckless in letting her get so close? What if this all went wrong? Tony was already walking a razor-thin line in Vince’s life, an unspoken thread barely holding together the fragile balance they’d built. If that thread snapped, if Vince had to pull away for good, how would he explain it to June?

He imagined her asking about Tony, her bright eyes clouded with confusion, her small voice laced with hurt. ‘Daddy, where’s Toto? Why doesn’t he hang out with us anymore?’ The thought cut through him, sharp and unrelenting. How could he explain that sometimes people leave, even when you want them to stay? That sometimes, no matter how much you care, it’s just safer to let go? He couldn’t stomach the idea of her losing someone so important to her already—not after everything she’d already endured.

But then there was her laugh, clear and bright as she climbed into the front seat of the Rogue, lightsaber balanced awkwardly between her knees. It was rare, that laugh. Too rare. And seeing her like this—so light, so unburdened—how could he regret giving her something, someone, who made her so happy? How could anything that brought her this much joy possibly be wrong?

Yet the guilt lingered, heavy and immovable, like a stone pressing against his ribs. It whispered in the quiet corners of his mind, a constant reminder that he was playing with fire. Tony wasn’t just a complication Vince couldn’t afford; he was a risk Vince couldn’t seem to quit.

Vince walked to the driver’s side door, his hand hovering over the handle as a flicker of hesitation rooted him in place. Something gnawed at him—a pull he couldn’t quite name, an instinct or maybe just the lingering weight of something unsaid. Slowly, his gaze shifted over his shoulder, scanning the dark expanse of the parking lot for Tony.

He found him easily, his broad frame unmistakable even at a distance. Tony was nearly two-thirds of the way to his car, his steps measured but dragging, his head bowed slightly against the cold. His arms were wrapped tightly around himself, shoulders hunched inward, as though he was trying to trap whatever warmth he could. Vince’s stomach twisted as he watched, the scene sharper than it had any right to be. Tony’s earlier ease—the laughter, the warmth he’d shown with June—seemed like a distant memory. Now, stripped of the shared light and joy of their evening, he looked raw. Exposed. And it hit Vince like a sucker punch: Tony thought no one was watching.

It wasn’t just the cold Tony was bracing against; it was the kind of weariness Vince knew too well. A heaviness that came when you thought you could finally let it show. Vince’s chest tightened, the edges of his guilt flaring into something sharper. He thought of the quiet way Tony had accepted the bag of leftovers, the defeated slump of his shoulders as he’d tried to make it seem like no big deal. The way Tony had leaned into tonight’s fleeting moments of happiness as if he hadn’t been allowed to experience joy in a long, long time.

Vince knew what Tony was going home to. A cold apartment, walls too quiet to feel like home. A bed that was too big and too empty. Silence so thick it weighed on your chest, turning every breath into a conscious effort. The thought clawed at him, visceral and unrelenting, leaving a bitter ache in its wake. Vince hadn’t forgotten the way Tony had been subtly suffering the entire night, shoulders hunched tight, hands wrapped around his drink for warmth. But now, watching Tony fold in on himself, shivering against the night, Vince couldn’t ignore it.

“Stay here, monkey,” Vince said suddenly, the words escaping before he’d fully thought them through. His voice was sharper than he intended, startling June, who looked up at him with wide eyes. He tossed her the keys, and she caught them clumsily, her expression puzzled. “Turn on the heat,” he added quickly, his tone softening. “Lock the doors. I’ll be right back.”

“Wait, Daddy, where are you—”

Vince cut off her question by shutting the door firmly, the click reverberating through the stillness of the night. He was already moving, his breath puffing out in quick clouds as he broke into a jog. Gravel crunched under his boots, his pulse thudding louder than his steps. “Tony! Wait!” he called, his voice carrying through the dark.

Tony’s retreating figure slowed slightly, but Vince barely noticed. His focus narrowed, his mind racing as fast as his pulse. He didn’t know what he’d say when he caught up, didn’t know how to piece together the tangle of guilt, concern, and something achingly tender that twisted inside him. All he knew was that he couldn’t let Tony leave like this—folded in on himself, cold and alone, carrying a weight that Vince couldn’t bear to let him shoulder on his own. Not without doing something—anything—to remind Tony that he mattered.

“Tony!” he called again, louder this time, his voice cutting through the quiet. Tony slowed, his silhouette shifting slightly, but Vince’s focus was so fixed on reaching him that he barely noticed. His heart was racing for reasons that had nothing to do with exertion, each step dragging him further into thoughts he wasn’t ready to face. He wanted to say something, to explain why he’d come after him, but the words hadn’t formed yet, and the weight of the night pressed heavier with every second. His pulse hammered, his mind spinning with fragments of sentences that couldn’t quite coalesce.

As Vince neared, his foot caught on a small rock half-buried in the gravel. He stumbled forward with a sharp lurch, the world tilting suddenly as gravity yanked him off balance. “Fuck!” he blurted, bracing himself for impact—but it never came.

Tony turned just in time, his hands shooting out to catch Vince by the waist, steadying him with a grip that was firm, warm, and far too familiar. Vince slammed into Tony’s chest with enough force to knock the air from his lungs, his breath catching in a startled gasp.

“Jesus,” Vince muttered, the curse tumbling out more breathless than intended. His hands instinctively fisted against Tony’s flannel as he looked up, wide-eyed and flushed, into those dark, steady eyes. His breath hitched, and his heart stuttered, pounding so hard it felt like it might bruise his ribs. The warmth of Tony’s hands on his waist sent a shockwave through him, vivid and grounding, and suddenly he was right back in that apartment, pinned against the wall, drowning in Tony’s touch.

He couldn’t move. Couldn’t think. The night dissolved around them, narrowing to the heat of Tony’s grip, the rough press of his palms against Vince’s body. His gaze fell to Tony’s lips—soft, full, and so unbearably close—and his stomach twisted with a heady mix of longing and guilt.

Words flooded his mind, crashing into each other like waves. 'I’m sorry.' 'I didn’t mean to hurt you.' 'I should’ve done it all differently.' 'I want to spend more time with you.' 'Do you want to start all over again?' But they all stuck behind his teeth like shards of glass, too sharp to release, too painful to swallow.

Finally, after a beat too long, something broke free—tentative, fractured, and wholly inadequate.

“Do you need money for a—”

“The Wizards of Starlight Hollow,” Tony echoed, pulling out his phone. An old model, but it still worked (more or less). He tapped the screen and pulled up a note app, jotting down the name. Whether he actually intended to read the book or not, he at least made a show of taking June’s recommendation seriously. “Your dad’s right - no spoilers! Never spoil a book or movie to someone unless they say it’s ok.”

Vince’s comment about Fieri being insufferable in a good way made no sense to him, which made him wonder what other things were insufferable in a good way. But that comment - no, really, that question - about him never having had bear steak despite living in Washington for a long time derailed his train of thought entirely. He hadn’t expected Vince to narrow in on that detail because, really, what the hell did he know about Washington cooking and local cuisine? He’d been here all of a few weeks and other than the time he spent with Vince, most of it was spent working, being shook down by the FBI, or otherwise being some shade of miserable. Nothing had given him the desire to read up on Washington’s culinary customs.

Also, who the fuck eats bears?

“Cooking food in Washington is different from cooking Washington food,” he responded to Vince with a lopsided grin that he hoped looked easy-going. He shook his head, dipping it a little as he put a sheepish look on his face.

“Admittedly… I’ve never tried it. Weird meat is unnerving. Beef, chicken, turkey, pork, fish… I can do those. I went out on a limb once and tried lamb at this Greek place once. Not real sure I’d do it again. Tried venison too but it was really gamey and doesn’t fit with what I usually like to cook. But bear? Nah. I’d sooner eat Foghorn Leghorn than Winnie the Pooh.” He grinned at Vince, unaware that June probably had no idea who Foghorn Leghorn was.

He was happy to move on from the bear steak talk - partially because he really had been caught in a hole in his story (seriously, nobody at the WitPro program bothered to tell him people in Washington eat weird shit like bears? Christ.) and partially because the idea was a little gross and he was, frankly, a little too worn out to entertain being that adventurous. Vince’s amused objection that he was a traitor in the lightsaber duel discussion made him grin.

“How could I say no? She asked so nicely. It’ll be fun Vince, you know it.” He winked at Vince as he stood with a grunt. It had been damn nice to sit down and get off his feet, but sitting here was making him get cold. He hadn’t made a move for the leftovers, presuming that Vince would take them home and heat them up tomorrow or something. He paid for them, after all, and he’d been thankful enough to be given some. When Vince slid the bag over to him nonchalantly, like it was not the generous gesture of kindness that it was, Tony didn’t know what to do for a moment. He hesitated, thinking about nudging it back across the table, but that would only draw attention to the offer. The last thing he wanted was for June to ask what they were doing playing slide-the-bag back and forth. He flicked his attention back up to Vince’s face, offered him a thankful but also apologetic look, and took the bag. He tried to make it look like it was no big deal, but honestly he was happy to know where his next meal was coming from (and that it wasn’t rice and beans again).

Galaxy’s Edge sounded like a kid’s dream come true, as did all of Disney in general. He’d never been to Disney (World or Land). One year he’d begged his parents for the chance to go that summer because a few other kids in school were going over their vacations and it sounded fun. It wasn’t the first or only lesson he got about what being broke and poor meant, but it sure was one that stung the hardest and lingered the longest. Entertainment and happy memories had a price, and if you couldn’t pay it, then you were just shit out of luck. That next year, when all the kids got to stand in front of their new class and talk about what they did over the summer, there wasn’t much for Tony to share. He sat in the back kitchen of his parents’ restaurant, colored in coloring books, talked to the cooks, played Solitaire, read books, did his summer homework, tried to read library books about the various conditions that was making his dad sick, and sometimes he just sat on the back stoop and stared at the brick wall of the opposite building wishing he was someplace else and someone else.

Something in his chest tightened at the realization June would likely never find herself on a stoop like that, wishing things were different. As rough as Vince’s life must be for them to be mixed up like this, there was no doubt in his mind already that Vince was a damn good father doing his best for her. It couldn’t have been easy, being stuck in what had to have been a shitty marriage, with a job he didn’t like by the sound of it, which brought risk and long hours. Yet here he was, dressed up as Obi-Wan Kenobi and lightsaber in hand, willing to duel with her in public because she’d asked.

Not for the first time, Tony still wished he had money like he did before. Ill-gotten gains or not, it didn’t matter. What was new was what he thought about doing with the money. He pictured paying for June’s college at a top-tier university where she could make those ‘professional astronaut’ dreams come true. She’d never want for anything, would never be relegated to an alleyway stoop, would never have her childhood cut short because poverty meant society decided she didn’t deserve one, and she sure as hell would never go hungry. She could go to Galaxy’s Edge every year until she at least had one light saber of every color. Even Darth Vader red.

Tony couldn’t give any of that to anyone, let alone June, who wasn’t even his kid and he doubted Vince would take kindly to any such offer even if he could make it. It felt like crossing a line that neither of them had talked about but he knew was there anyway. You could fuck a guy, but you couldn’t interfere with their kids. Play nice, but don’t get close. Don’t care about them so when the fucking stopped, the kid didn’t miss you.

It felt like they were already breaking that rule too.

“Screaming the whole way, eh Vince?” He grinned at Vince, trying to pull his mind out of the spiral it had just slid down along with the gutter it veered into. “Was it a roller coaster? Can’t blame you if you did. I can’t stand those things. I was on once - got dared by some friends. Jesus, never again.” He shook his head, still grinning. He wondered if Vince would scream in bed too, and just kept shaking his head until the mental image faded.

Bag of leftovers in one hand, the other free and at his side, Tony walked with Vince and June in the direction of the parking lot. It was getting late and as nice as this unplanned run-in had been, he was happy for the chance to be headed home soon. He’d had a long day working the food stand, was now even colder than before, and looked forward to scrubbing off this makeup and getting out of this costume so he could curl up in bed and sleep. It would have been better if Vince was coming with him, but he knew not to push his luck - and that thought made him hold his breath for a moment. It wasn’t just that he was imagining holding Vince close while they showered together or the things he could do to him, but the mental image of falling asleep curled up next to Vince.

Had he not been so distracted by happy thoughts of what a normal life might look like, he might have jumped out of his skin when he felt that small hand put itself in his. He really had no choice but to let her do it - she was already holding on, small kid fingers wrapped around his much larger, calloused fingers. It felt like he just had the breath knocked out of him. It was such a small gesture, but an act of trust he did not expect whatsoever. Most kids had a sense of stranger-danger that lingered well past a casual meeting or two. Uncertain of what to do and having no excuse to take his hand back that wouldn’t hurt her feelings or seem weird, he just let her hold his fingers.

It was a bit of a relief when Vince called her closer to his side to take her hand, though he did search Vince’s face for some sign of what he was thinking. Was he offended? Worried? Put off? It wasn’t something Tony invited or asked for - and he sure as shit wasn’t trying to supplant Stella for a role in their lives.

So what was he doing?

Hell if he knew.

“You can pretend this clearing is on one of those other planets or something, instead of a bunch of grass.” Tony suggested as he took a seat on the park bench, stretching his legs out to rest his feet as he leaned back and relieved that the awkward moment had passed and they were given something to focus on. Had it been warm out, he would have stretched his arms along the bench, but instead he kept them close to his body, all but wrapped around himself for the heat.

“I’m watching, June! You teach him who’s boss!” Tony called back when June asked if he was watching, laughing as he settled against the park bench. Yes, this was silly and juvenile, but dammit, it was fun. Not everything in life had to be serious. That innuendo Vince threw out though, complete with that goofy ‘check it out’ that had thrown him off last time too, brought a flush to his cheeks. No lightsaber duel was likely to beat a good blowjob, but this spectacle made his heart flutter in a different way.

The whole duel was far more than he expected, truth be told. He figured Vince would play easy on her, they’d smack the plastic swords around a bit until he gave up and let her win, and that would be that. What he got, instead, was something that looked practiced - half choreographed, half on the fly. It reminded him of swordfights and fencing he’d seen in movies. Maybe not quite as high stakes or polished, but the vibe was still there. Best part was, Vince didn’t appear to be not trying. Sure, he wasn’t going in for the kill - she was just a kid - but she was absolutely keeping him on his toes. When she finally struck the ‘death’ blow, Vince really did look like he hadn’t seen it coming.

It was breathtakingly cute. It was real and honest and done for their mutual amusement. Their bonding. Tony wasn’t even here, part of the audience. They were on a far-away planet or a spaceship, playing out a private story that only they knew. Even if Tony watched the Star Wars movies and got all caught up on the story and characters, he still knew he’d never really understand Vince and June’s personal story the same way they did. What they had was amazing and worth protecting - and Tony knew he’d do whatever he had to do to help protect that too. Even if he wasn’t a part of it.

“Awesome job, June! You got him!” Tony agreed, laughing as he pushed himself up off the bench and wandered over. Vince was still sitting in the grass, laughing his ass off in a costume robe with a plastic glowing lightsaber in one hand, his face red from effort and laughter.

He swore he’d never seen anyone look so handsome and worth fighting for as Vince did in that moment. It hit him like a brick to the chest and he had no idea how he could even keep moving, let alone talking.

“Alright, Princess Leia, be kind to Obi-Wan. You won, but no rubbing it in or anything.” He joked, leaning in a bit to offer his hand to Vince to help him stand.