#but there are many thoughts in this post that's true

[fillinforlater]

The Archive of Smite

This page belongs to the writer named Smite. He wrote fics starting in September of 2021 up until April 2024. In these 2,5 years, over 8.000 people followed him to read some of the craziest k-pop girl group smut out there. Almost 150 stories of sex in all kinds of positions, for many reasons, all over the world (and in outerspace), with too many kinks to count.

"When I started, I kinda wanted to become the best. I wanted my favorite writers at the time - Levi, Peach, Sins, and many more - to know that I could write as good as they can. I wanted to go wilder and crazier."

Smite, though ambitious, was also stupid and naive. At roughly the same time he started writing, two other community legends began their careers. IZ and Kaede crushed everything in their sight, especially the former becoming an absolute legend.

"Writing was fun. At times, it was escapism from everyday worries. At other times, it was fulfillment of fantasies I could never reach. Mostly though, it was just horny. BFH that just became words. If you go through my Masterlist, you might see which idols had some random heights or were just... Always on my hot list."

Smite never really stopped writing, not for long stretches that is. It didn't really occur to him that there might be a sudden, drastic reason to stop. He considered doing so anyways. Something about writing porn about irl people without them knowing or wanting - needless to say, it is an odd hobby. Nevertheless, he enjoyed it amd the community it brought with it.

"I fucking love these guys. So many hilarious peoplefrom all over the world. One became like my best friend, a rock during my emotional struggles. Another was my boyfriend for a short time. Man, I screwed up with him kekw. There are too many to mention. I've had long talks with some, others just came by and listened to me mald or something. I love you all, some of you I consider true friends - part of my soul - and I feel connected, even if you are thousands of miles away."

2024 started stressful for Smite. The pressure of Uni started to collapse on him. Even the thought of big kpop concerts wasn't enough to cheer him up. Luckily though, there was this girl. Sweet, kind, caring and in the same position. Soon, he had found something that seemed impossible. She was in love with him and he in love with her. And when everything unraveled.

"I stopped writing. I burried my drafts. I finished only one story and released it way later. I'm sorry I didn't announce it properly, but I just felt that this smut writing career was over. I don't regret it - I gained something beautiful I want to keep for the rest of my life. She is at least as pretty as Minju, so I call that the biggest win imaginable lol."

So no more smuts from Smite?

"99% no"

No more fanfictions/girl group stories in general?

"Eh, 80% no. Still some unfinished angst that I would love y'all to read tho"

Will you ever reach those 150 fics?

"We will see. In this count there are fics with less than 1000 words. I might just sneeze and finish it kekw"

Any fic you regret not writing?

"Not really? Maybe a proper ending for Starship: Horizon? Or yet another Minju fic? Futa stuff? Gaeul angst x female reader? Or how about a fic with 69 different idols at once? Who but me would dare to write something so stupid?"

Do you think you reached your initial goal?

"Do I consider myself the GOAT? No. That title belongs to either Peach, Levi or IZ. But I know that of my now 8.700 followers some consider me their favorite writer. I'm flattered and thank you very much for reading amd enjoying my work."

Now for the most important question: does this post mean you are finally leaving the community behind for good? Is this your last hoorah?

"..."

"Never."

[lamiadrowned]

what if Jinx had an affectionate girlfriend? I want to assume Jinx is touch starved so having a girlfriend that loves cuddles and holding hands is a dream come true

*:･ﾟ✧ jinx with an affectionate girlfriend

jinx x fem!reader | sfw

i love her so much :(

it would take her a bit of time to get used to this dynamic.

her entire life, she’s never put much thought into relationships, nonetheless ever believed she’d end up in one, and she’s so happy she did!

especially with someone who seems to love her so deeply, despite how chaotic and difficult she can be at times.

the first few times you guys go out together, you’re always touching her, and she picks up on that quickly. you’re either holding her hand, fidgeting with her fingers, placing your arm around her waist, or playing with the loose strands of navy blue hair that frame her face.

she has no complaints. it makes her feel… warm. safe. appreciated.

but she doesn’t really think of reciprocating this until a small altercation between the two of you.

one day, you’re sitting on the edge of her workbench, listening intently as she shows you the scribbled blueprint of a new invention she’s working on. you can’t remember the name and you have no idea what any of it means, but you’re nodding like you understand so that she’ll keep talking.

“alright, what’s the problem? is it something i said?” she asks you suddenly.

you tilt your head. “what?”

“don’t play dumb! you haven’t touched me at all today!” she grumbles. “you’re always touching me. i mean, did i do something wrong? or–”

“jinx.” you cut her off firmly. “stop that. you didn’t do anything wrong.”

she looks stumped. so, you continue. “i don’t know. it’s just… you never do it to *me,* you know? it’s always me, touching you. i thought, maybe, you didn’t really like it. something tells me that’s not the case.”

your explanation is met with silence, and she stares at you like she’s seen a ghost.

she can’t believe you feel that way. this whole relationship thing is new to her! she had no idea her own self doubt could end up hurting you the way it did.

her first instinct is to apologize. to reassure you that, going forward, she’d be sure to give you as much as you give her, because she really does love the affection.

in no time, she’s just as cuddly as you!

each night that the two of you spend together is spent wrapped up in each other. legs crossed over legs, arms tangled with arms, faces pressed to chests with a constantly growing need to be closer to each other.

i saw somebody else post something about this, but she’d definitely be the type to say something like ‘i wish i could crawl inside you’. she truly can’t get close enough once she learns how good it feels.

and one of many good effects of this is that when she’s having a particularly bad day, you can calm her down in an instant.

if it happens to be one of many days where she’s hearing voices, seeing things that you can’t see, berating people who aren’t really there, all you need to do is put a hand on her shoulder to make her aware of your presence. it’s grounding enough that you can pull her into a tight hug and stroke her hair as she cries into your shoulder.

if it’s one of those days that she’s just angry, where she feels like everything is horrible and everyone else is rotten, you can change her mind in less than an hour by simply leading her to bed and convincing her to lay down for a bit while you undo her braids and scratch at her scalp.

when you play with her hair, it makes her melt, so you’re careful to preserve that effect– you only do it when you feel like she could really use it.

and as for you, if she finds out you’re having a bad day, jinx has learned from the best and she puts her knowledge to good use.

if you’re alone, she’ll pull you into her lap and caress your back, guiding you to rest your head in the crook of her neck because she knows how much you love to be there. if you want to talk about it, she’ll listen. if you don’t, she’ll pick a random topic to ramble about in hopes to take your mind off of things.

if you’re in public, she’ll grab your hand and squeeze it, stroking your palm with her thumb.

unless it’s somebody in particular that’s bothering you. she has no second thoughts about leaving you for a few minutes to go teach them a lesson. either way, the problem gets solved.

given how long she’s gone without any sort of physical affection, it’ll all be very new to her for a while, but jinx is a quick leaner.

sooner than later, your relationship starts to feel more like a constant competition over who’s more touchy and who can get the last kiss.

it’s so mushy! she hates it.

(she loves it).

[apilgrimpassingby]

Goyim don't need to start there, because that's not true. This is going to be a long post, so I'm inserting a "keep reading".

What Does The Earliest Christian Literature Say?

The earliest Christian literature is the Epistles of St. Paul; specifically, those about which there is universal consensus that St. Paul wrote them (Romans, 1 Corinthians, 2 Corinthians, Galatians, Philippians, 1 Thessalonians, Philemon). Statements about Jesus' humanity in these texts include:

Jesus was a descendant of David (Romans 1:3)

Jesus was Jewish (Romans 9:5)

Jesus had a brother called James, who St. Paul had met (Galatians 1:19)

Jesus was born Jewish to a human mother (Galatians 4:4)

Jesus died by crucifixion (Philippians 2:8)

The evidence is that the earliest Christians thought that Jesus was a flesh-and-blood person who had walked the earth in living memory. This alone is a pretty serious problem for the idea that "the Jesus fable was not real or a literal person".

2a. What Evidence Would We Expect for Jesus?

So, what's the typical evidence for a Judaean Messianic claimant operating in the first half of the first century AD?

Athronges, a man who claimed to be king of Israel from 4-2 BC and won several military confrontations with the Romans before his eventual defeat. Known from Josephus (Jewish War 2.60-65 and Jewish Antiquities 17.278-284); no archaeological evidence.

Judas the Galilean, who in 6 AD led a revolt and founded the Zealots (properly called the Sicarii), the militant faction of 1st century Judaism. Known from Jewish historian Josephus (Jewish War 2.433 and Jewish Antiquities 18.1-10 and 18.23) and the New Testament (Acts 5:37); no archaeological evidence.

John the Baptist, a preacher executed in 28 AD for criticising the king. Known from the New Testament (he's all over the Gospels) and Josephus (Jewish Antiquities 18.5.2); no archaeological evidence.

The Samaritan prophet, who in 36 AD promised to re-establish the Samaritan temple on Mount Gerizim, and caused so much alarm to the Romans that they dispatched both cavalry and infantry to disperse his followers. Known from Josephus (Jewish Antiquities 18.85-87); no archaeological evidence.

Theudas, who in c.45 AD led "a great part of the people" into the desert with promises to part the Jordan, which frightened the procurator Fadus enough to send a cavalry troop to disperse his followers, killing many of them, Theudas included. Known from Josephus (Jewish Antiquities 20.97-98) and the New Testament (Acts 5:36); no archaeological evidence.

The Egyptian prophet, who some time in the 50s AD claimed to be a prophet and led a force of several thousand rebels to the walls of Jerusalem, which he promised to miraculously bring down; his force fought with Roman infantry and cavalry in a battle where fur hundred of them died and two hundred were captured. Known from Josephus (Jewish War 2.259-263 and Jewish Antiquities 20.169-171) and the New Testament (Acts 21:38); no archaeological evidence.

Hence, the crucial question for Jesus historicity is - was Jesus mentioned by Josephus?

2b. Yes, He Was, and By Tacitus To

There's a somewhat-famous passage in Josephus' Jewish Antiquities 18.63-64 where he mentions Jesus. Part of the reason it's famous is that it's pretty blatantly been added to by a Christian scribe, but the current consensus is that it's an authentic Josephan passage with Christian additions. Here it is, with the Christian additions scored out to show what most scholars think Josephus wrote:

And there was about this time Jesus, a wise man, if indeed it is necessary to call him a man, for he was a doer of paradoxical works, a teacher of such men as receive the truth with pleasure, and many Jews on the one hand and also many of the Greeks on the other he drew to himself. He was the Messiah. And when, on the accusation of some of the principal men among us, Pilate had condemned him to a cross, those who had first loved him did not cease to do so. For he appeared to them on the third day, living again, the divine prophets having related both these things and countless other marvels about him. And even till now the tribe of Christians, so named from this man, has not gone extinct.

If you want to read about what's judged to be authentic in the passage by scholars and why, you can click here.

The authenticity of that passage aside, there's a less-famous section of the Antiquities (20.9.1) referencing "the brother of Jesus, who was called Christ, whose name was James", which is universally regarded by critical scholars as authentic. Hence, it can be said that Josephus does refer to Jesus, and so Jesus matches up to the evidence threshold for similar figures.

As mentioned in the title of this section, Roman historian Tacitus also referred to Jesus, in a passage unanimously agreed to not be a Christian addition because, as you'll see, Tacitus had no love for Christianity.

Christus, from whom the name [Christians] had its origin, suffered the extreme penalty during the reign of Tiberius at the hands of one of our procurators, Pontius Pilatus, and a most mischievous superstition, thus checked for the moment, again broke out not only in Judaea, the first source of the evil, but even in Rome, where all things hideous and shameful from every part of the world find their centre and become popular. (Annals 15.44)

Hence, I think it can be said that the evidence for Jesus is at least equivalent to, and almost certainly greater than, that of every comparable figure, and so there's no good reason for denying a historical Jesus.

To be clear, I don't think this proves that a virgin-born miracle-working Son of God existed. While I am a Christian, I do think that many non-Christian views of Jesus are reasonable views held by reasonable people, even if I disagree with them. However, I think that denying that there was a first-century AD Judaean itinerant preacher called Jesus who founded Christianity and was crucified by Pontius Pilate is a denial of history, plain and simple.

I'll finish this off with a quote from Bart Ehrman, Professor of Religious Studies at the University of North Carolina and a major populariser of critical scholarship of the New Testament:

"It is fair to say that mythicists as a group, and as individuals, are not taken seriously by the vast majority of scholars in the fields of New Testament, early Christianity, ancient history, and theology." (Did Jesus Exist?, p.20)

can't believe I really just came across someone saying "nono, the JEWS didn't kill jesus, the ZIONISTS killed jesus."

I'm literally laughing. This is histeric. It almost makes it hard to see these antisemites as a serious threat. Almost.

[judesmoonbeauty]

𝕁𝕦𝕕𝕖 𝕁𝕒𝕫𝕫𝕒'𝕤 𝕄𝕒𝕚𝕟 𝕊𝕥𝕠𝕣𝕪: ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟙

This is a fan translation only. Please expect grammatical errors and translation inaccuracies. This is a full translation. Creative liberties are taken for characterization and smoother translation process. Cybird owns everything. Re-blogs are appreciated, but please do not post my translation elsewhere. Thank you for your support! ☾.

— Would people say it’s foolish to chase a promise that won’t come true?

Poorly Dressed Man: Jude Jazza! It’s all - it’s all your fault!

Jude: I ain’t the one who broke the contract.

Jude: If ya wanna file a lawsuit yer sure to lose, ‘n starve to death, then be my guest.

Poorly Dressed Man: You demon! Die!

Jude: Ellis.

Ellis: Yep.

Poorly Dressed Man: Gah!

— Would people call following a twisted sense of justice evil?

Jude: …Ha. The full moon’s annoyin’.

The person with amethyst eyes listlessly lit a cigarette.

The white smoke that rose in the pitch black darkness turned the glittering moon grey.

Ellis: Jude, it’s done.

Jude: Fine. Then let’s get outta here ‘fore things get messy.

A week has passed since I’ve become fairytale keeper.

Guests from Germany called Vogel have arrived, and I’ve been accompanying the others on dangerous missions,

In these hectic days, there are many things that bother me.

However, the thing that bothers me the most is —

Kate: Jude, please take me with you on the mission today!

Jude: Ha. Make an appointment. Business hours are over, so scram.

He looked very unhappy while he glared at me disdainfully.

(But…I can’t back down here.)

Kate: For the past week, I’ve accompanied everyone on missions as fairytale keeper.

Kate: Only you and Ellis are the ones left.

Jude: Don’t care ‘bout yer problems.

Kate: Ughh….

Ellis: Is it okay if I go with Kate?

Ellis kindly soothed my heart that was gouged out by Jude.

However -

Jude: Y'shuddup.

(Haaa, it’s hopeless. What should I do….)

(If I can’t do it by asking directly, then I can follow them without permission, or ask for help…)

The moment I was lost in thought —

Victor: Today, I see Jude is walking about as the human form of cruelty and ruthlessness as well.

The “help” I wished for arrived with beautiful long hair, and in a cheerful mood.

Victor: Don’t be so cold, and take care of Kate.

Victor: The fairytale keeper is an honorable position that Her Majesty recognizes.

Jude: I don’t understand what yer sayin’, ‘n I don’t like it.

Jude: What’s that woman thinkin’, lettin’ ya abuse her power ‘n capture a commoner.

(…..Commoner.)

Jude: Tch….revoltin’.

Jude: Let’s go, Ellis.

Ellis: Sorry, Kate. See you later.

Kate: Yeah….

I gave a small wave to Ellis who looked back with concern as he left.

(I’ve had quite a few bad experiences in my life.)

But this was the first time I’ve been met with such intense hatred for no reason.

To be honest…it’s not a good feeling.

He’s really a “jerk” with a rotten attitude —that was my first impression of him.

But I soon realized as I lived at Crown Castle, that he was like that with everyone.

[Shows different scenes of Jude's attitude.]

Jude: All Crown members on a urgent mission ordered by that Queenie?

Jude: Don’t need my help. Do whatever ya want.

Jude: Get together with Vogel? Ain’t nothin’ in it for me.

Jude: I ain’t goin’ to that thing.

Jude: Fairytale keeper? Thought ya scampered back home already. Dunno though.

[Examples scenes end]

Kate: Jude Jazza’s report…..

Victor: You’ve brought the weekly report, thank you.

Victor: Jude Jazza. He is very arrogant, ruthless, and intolerable……

Just as he was speaking, I snatched the report back from him.

Kate: There’s no way I can present a report full of insults to her Majesty!

…A few days later.

Harrison: Yeah, I got it from Victor.

In the note Harrison gave me —

The Pub near St. James’s Park, 10:00 p.m.

(This is!)

Harrison: Tonight Jude and Ellis are on a mission to bust a gang selling illegal drugs.

Apparently Victor couldn’t just watch things silently, and arranged for me to join the two on their mission.

Kate: Thanks for the note, Harrison.

(The pub, tonight at 10…that means)

When I looked at the clock, there was only an hour left.

Kate: I’ve got to hurry! I’m off.

Harrison: Ah, oi…..Roger’ll go with you, so meet up with him!

Harrison: ….I don’t think that guy’s going to be easy to deal with.

Just before I ran out of the room, I heard Harrison’s murmuring….Perhaps, he was predicting what would happen tonight.

When I arrived at the location precisely on time — the entire mission had been completed.

(Maybe….no, not maybe)

Roger: Hahaha, Jude took you for a ride didn’t lil’ lady?

Kate: ……

His cheerful and merciless voice, unlike Jude’s pierced my heart.

Ellis: Oh, Kate. And Roger too.

(Since Ellis returned to the pub, does that mean Jude’s returned too?)

I leaned forward a bit to see if Jude was there.

(Hm…he’s not here?)

Kate: Ellis, where’s Jude?

Ellis: Smoking probably.

I went to the back of the pub, and found Jude sitting on the stairs smoking.

Kate: …You lied and gave the wrong time.

Jude: Can ya stop makin’ false accusations?

Kate: False accusations?

Jude: Didn’t say it would “start” at 10:00 p.m. It’s yer fault for not confirmin’ ‘forehand.

[All options are +4/+4] - “Option 1: It was my mistake.”

Kate: That’s….definitely my mistake for not confirming.

I was the who assumed the time written on the note was the start time.

Jude: Hmm, so ya got ‘nough brains to honestly fess up when yer wrong. That’s great.

(What Jude is saying is probably right….But..)

Kate: Why would you intentionally do something that would make someone hate you?

Jude: Is there somethin’ to gain by bein’ liked by ya?

White smoke flows from his cruel smile.

Kate: So it’s okay to be hated by others so long as there’s no benefit for you?

Jude: Are ya a fool who wants to be liked by everyone?

Kate: But, there’s nothing wrong with being like, is there?

Jude: Sickenin’. I hate it when people say - “Let’s all be friendly.”

(No matter what I say, it’s a deadlock….)

I’ve tried to meet him halfway so many times.

But each time he’s treated me coldly, and it’s made me really angry.

— That’s why I said this.

Kate: If that’s what you say, then I’ll make you understand.

Words you should absolutely never say to him….

Jude: ….Hah?

White smoke swirls up from his cranky lips like a coiling serpent.

Jude: Whaddya gonna make me understand?

When I heard his rough voice from his thin lips, I realized that I touched a nerve.

But I can’t take back what I’ve said — So, I should just say what I feel.

I glared at Jude on the other side of the white smoke, trying not to be overwhelmed by his powerful gaze.

Kate: By the time I finish being the fairytale keeper, I will find something to like about you.

Jude: Hah?

Kate: I can’t find anything at the moment….but I don’t think it’s bad to be liked regardless if there’s gain or not.

Jude: ………..

Kate: I promise you.

When I nodded, Jude’s lips twisted into an exasperated smile.

Jude: ….Idiot. Are ya insane?

Jude: If ya find somethin’ like that, I’ll listen to any one thing ya say.

(Those words just now…! Can I take them as an agreement?)

Kate: Deal, I’m looking forward to it!

Kate: Oh, and I don’t intend to leave your side until I’ve fulfilled my promise, no matter how many times you push me away.

Jude: Ha. Fine, if ya say so, then do as ya please.

After a long battle, I finally got him to say those words.

Kate: Yep, I’ll do as I please!

I fanned away the cigarette smoke that separated us, and took a step closer to him….

Jude scoffs while letting out a thick puff of smoke.

Jude: Just remember one thing princess….My “promises” don’t come cheap.

Jude: If ya break yer promise, I’ll show ya a hell that’ll make ya think ya were better off dead.

Amidst the elegant scent of sandalwood, which was far from his image, and the sweet, burning scent of tobacco —

Jude and I made our first promise.

[Transitions to the Palace]

Darius: Jude Jazza, huh. - Hm, Nica.

“Vogel” - an organization under the direct command of the German Emperor.

It’s Director, Darius Vogel, smiled gracefully.

Nica: You want me to look into him, right. That’s fine, I’m personally interested in him.

Nica: …So I hope I can gather some interesting information on him.

The following day I was called to Victor’s office.

Victor: Jude, Ellis, and Kate, thank you for your hard work last night.

Victor: Now then, Kate I’ve heard that you’re going to be Jude’s exclusive fairytale keeper going forward?

(Huh?)

Jude: Why’a lookin’ confused, yer the one who suggested it.

(That’s….)

[Flash back begins]

Kate: By the time I finish being the fairytale keeper, I will find something to like about you.

Jude: If ya find somethin’ like that, then I’ll listen to any one thing ya say.

[Flash back ends]

(Maybe that’s it?)

Jude: A one-sided termination of the contract’s invalid. Don’t go back on yer word, people-pleaser.

Kate: I wouldn’t go back on my word, even if you didn’t tell me to.

Victor: Jude truly is an arrogant, insincere, and narrow-minded man, but he never breaks his promises.

Victor: Hence, he demands the same of others, or else they’re met with fierce retaliation.

As Victor’s cheerful voice rang out, Jude and I stopped glaring at each other.

Kate: That means….

Victor: Now that this has happened, there’s no escape for you, is there?

Jude Jazza, his curse is the 13th fairy from Sleeping Beauty.

Twelve fairies were called to the castle for a banquet of the the newborn princess.

Each of the fairies blessed the lovely princess….

— However, the 13th fairy was not invited to the castle, and it cast a curse on the princess out of resentment.

(I’m sure that’s how the tale goes…)

Kate: ….Is this person vindictive because of his curse, or simply because of his mean personality?

Victor: Hmm, that’s a mystery buried deep beneath the sea —

Jude: Don’t care if it’s some curse or not.

Ellis: Will you sign it? Or…

Jude: Signin’ with yer blood’s fine.

As if to prove his rotten personality, Jude smiled sarcastically….

Kate: I’ll sign anything!

I reflexively responded to his provocation, and ran the pen across the paper.

Within seconds of signing, Jude tucked it in his breast pocket.

Jude: Thanks. Let’s be friends from now on, eh princess?

A cruel person who delights in the misfortunes of others.

(There’s no way I’ll ever fall in love with someone like that.)

(But, if I don’t fulfill my promise, then I’m in breach of the contract….)

— I’ll end up as his prey.

[Main Story Master List] Dividers: @.natimiles Tags list: @sh0jun @theimaginativelyreticent @sapphire-323 @velisle @nateko @greatwitchsongsinger @cosmowgyrall. @lunaaka

If you wish to be added or removed from my translations tag list, please let me know!

[loulovingho]

Hello, it’s me, your local Lou loving ho! I’ve gotten a few asks recently about writing into abc about 911, and whether it’s still worth it, so I figured I’d make a post!

Simple answer, YES! It’s just as important to write into abc now as it was after 806, or 807, or 808! It’s probably the most important time to be writing in your thoughts/feelings/disappointments with the show. While filming is on hiatus at the moment, the writers (and Tim) will be working on the second half of season 8 at this time! Feedback may not change everything, but it doesn’t hurt anything. And you’ll feel better!

I also get people telling me I only care about bucktommy, and that’s not true either! I encourage you to write in about whatever is bothering you. I’ve seen many complaints as I scroll, often having to do with one of the other characters, Tim Minear, the overall writing, etc. Complaining here on tumblr is great and I always encourage that, but doing it on an official feedback form feels wonderful too lol!

Other shows have gone through major changes due to feedback, many saving characters or the show altogether. Anyway, thought it was time for a PSA!

Here’s the link!

[mercy-misrule]

mouthwashing spoilers, mentions of fictional sexual assault, discussion of fictional neglect and abuse of a disabled person, the many nuances of the patriarchy and capitalism

Let's have a chat about how Swansea and Daisuke failed Anya as crewmates!

Thank you everyone for your very lovely and thoughtful responses to my previous Mouthwashing meta pieces, here and here.

Let's have some more thoughts! Again, I'm examining the text from the perspective of a sexual assault survivor, a survivor of a life threatening accident, a domestic violence survivor and a person who grew up in poverty.

I love this game for giving me enough meat to sink my teeth into, for fodder for thought.

I've written about how supremely vulnerable Curly is, post-crash, the real true horror of being reliant for every aspect of your survival on an abusive person.

I'd like to look at another aspect now, the fatigue and isolation of the carer under a profit driven patriarchy!

Being a carer for someone who is entirely reliant on you is tough, is stressful and supremely isolating. The best and most dedicated carers in the world get burnt out, and not because they are bad people who don't truly want the best for the person in their charge.

You see it happen. Their friends and family disengage with them, not wanting to be asked to help, not wanting to confront the difficulty and reality of disability. They'll start to ask why the carer doesn't give their charge up into permanent care, they'll make snide comments about how much easier it would be if they weren't a carer....and if a carer cannot provide for their charge, and does get professional support or their person does go into care, they get met with judgement for 'not trying hard enough' or bewilderment that they might be upset.

The disabled are seen as a burden, and when anyone tries to challenge that, the system is set up both at a macro and micro level to fundamentally quash that challenge.

And at home carers? Over proportionally, they are women.

So look at what happens to Anya. Anya is a medical professional, yes. But there are many tasks that could be done in Curly's care that don't require specialised skills. Swansea or Daisuke could have stepped in at any minute and offered her help.

Instead, she asks Jimmy, the man who abused her, who is abusing Curly to help, because as awful as it is, he's literally the only other person interacting with Curly.

He's the only person who talks to Curly post crash. Anya doesn't say a word to him, only talks about him.

Anya is not a cruel person. She's not revenge driven or malicious. She actively does not want to hurt Curly, his pain is extremely distressing to her, and she is put in the position where she has to cause it, either by her own hands or Jimmy's by proxy, because she has no other help.

Swansea is very dismissive of Anya. He refers to her as our so-called nurse, that woman, and that rickety elbow of a woman. Swansea also shit talks Daisuke, and we know he has affection for Daisuke, but actions, or inaction speak louder than words.

This is a game where taking responsibility is a core theme, and Anya is forced to take sole responsibility, where she could have been supported and helped, if Swansea or Daisuke could have stepped up as her crewmates.

Daisuke is a grown ass man. Is he a young man? Yes. Is he a full grown adult capable of making his own decisions and responsible for his own actions? Yes.

So his choice, to actively ignore Curly and Anya, is just another decision.

The way this mirrors the way society isolates carers is such a good piece of storytelling to me. The way it causes Anya so much stress, the way it causes the quality of care she provides to Curly to degrade because she is the only person helping...it's a mirror of real life.

Is it because Anya is the nurse? Sure. Is it because she's the only woman? Maybe. Is it because both Daisuke and Swansea are mired in different versions of toxic masculinity? Absolutely.

Daisuke's indifference and pleasant disengagement, while being tolerated by everyone, handwaving away criticism is the prerogative of a rich young person, especially a rich young man. It'll all be alright! and no one expects anything of him. It's not the same thing, but there's that tinge of learned helplessness in there.

Swansea's unpleasant, grinding negativity, his self focus, the way everything is a burden to him...if you haven't had to work with a man like this, you're doing well in life. You never ever want to ask them anything because it's like being rubbed by angry sandpaper.

If i seem like I'm being very harsh against Daisuke and Swansea, I am. I am purposefully pointing out their worse qualities, not just as people but as crew.

There is no unity within the crew, and the company prefers it that way. No one unionises after all, if they can't stand or trust one another. They force Curly, a chronic people pleaser to hold himself above them, which spirals his anxiety, which leads into him failing as a captain in a myriad of ways.

Daisuke is introduced too late and underprepared. The crew is automatically going to be against him, frustrated with him, and he has no incentive to work against that, apart from his own easy going nature.

Anya is under immense self pressure. She's failed to get into medical school 8 times. She's got no savings. And then she is in close quarters with her abuser, and the only person she tells about it believes her AND THEN does nothing, and seemingly then crashes the ship.

Swansea has that inbuilt, boiling pressure of a life lived like he feels he's supposed to. But he's supremely unhappy, lashes out at everyone. And not in the way that Jimmy does, but in this unpleasant background radiation way, where everyone is already under so much stress.

Jimmy was barely keeping himself together under Curly's command. Without it, he's a whirlwind of aggression, negativity, threats and delivered acts of violence. There was no unity with him, previously, and there certainly isn't any now.

Everyone is responsible for their own actions, and inaction. But the company set them up to fail before they set off, and then the social desertion of Anya dooms the crew.

Anya doesn't need to be rescued, no one needs to get revenge for her. What Anya needs is support, in the actual physical sense.

Swansea could talk to Curly, to distract him. Daisuke could be there to talk her through giving Curly his meds, keeping her panic at bay.

Literally the least they could do, it could have changed everything. If Jimmy was denied access to Curly, if there was a sense of solidarity between the crew, something, anything. If there was any trust at all.

But instead Daisuke gives into apathy, Swansea into secrecy, Anya into despair and Jimmy into a frothing frenzied need for control.

There is no win solution for the Tulpar crew. This is a hopeless crisis.

But if there had been a sense of community, of reciprocity, they'd have options. But it becomes the loudest voice in the room, Jimmy's voice, and just like that, the options disappear.

Being a carer takes community support. It's how carers are kept accountable too, because a disabled person who needs that level of care exists at the whim of the carer. A carer has to be supported to be supportive. Anya receives nothing.

[cantareincminor]

Fandom Wrapped (Reader Edition) 2024!

Thanks to the wonderful @kattyelf for creating this template! Links and detailed reviews under the cut.

Disclaimer: I probably read hundreds of SxF fics in the past year, and it was not easy to choose which ones to put in the list above (or below)! This fandom is full of wonderful, friendly creators and I am so glad to be part of it. I also had to narrow it down to only the ones I read and reread in 2024, not 2022 or 2023. Finally...I also happened to read many good fics only once. Sometimes a fic is just too painful or sad to reread, especially if it's not finished.

Favorite fic and author: After peace by @unhappy-sometimes!

I could gush about unso for a whole post and not be done, but I will try to contain myself. Her fic After peace originated from an AU comic she drew where Twilight was forced to retire early due a major injury, and drifted aimlessly until WISE asked him to take care of an orphan they had rescued from Project Apple. There are several things that amazed me about this fic and cemented it in first place for 2024:

The premise. It was original and so full of potential.

How personal Twilight's journey felt to me. I didn't have a life-threatening injury, but I did put my career on hiatus in the past year and have often struggled with questions of -- what am I worth when I'm not "doing" anything? I was so used to going 150% in the rat race and coming out on top at great personal cost to health and family; even if all that was bad, how else can I get that sense of accomplishment? How can I stop wanting that sense of accomplishment?

Her style, which is both vivid AND concise. The fic was around 22K words if I remember correctly, with a well-constructed plot, character arcs, plenty of emotional beats, and a satisfying resolution. I often wonder if my writing is too verbose and when I see something like After peace, it challenges me to do better.

THIS WAS UNSO'S FIRST FIC EVER. THE HELL. It's like a freshman album that gets put up for a Grammy.

Fic(s) I reread (plus runners-up):

That Time Yor Seriously Thought About Leaving by peonydee: This is a WIP with one more chapter before completion, I believe. Peonydee's style is unique in how it's hard-hitting and disarming at the same time. Yor and Twilight find themselves in impossible situations, their relationship tested to the limit (and one of them in a close brush with death), yet there's still an undercurrent of wry humor, almost fatalistic due to the fact both of them have been steeped in death and dirty work for decades, yet still hopeful and reaching for each other. I also cackle every time she makes Twilight go off on a mansplaining tangent without ever using the term outright. A masterpiece of show not tell.

Is It Really All Right? by zyzy1083: This one is tender. A jealous!Loid fic with a fascinating portrayal of Loid from Yor's perspective. The imagery of a dark sea choking down any true thought or emotion from breaking for air will stay with me for a long time. There's also the fact she basically made up lyrics for an indie song as part of the plot and I had to ask whether it was a real song. Finally, there's the fact she was bold enough to portray Loid as less than a perfect, kind, smiley husband toward Yor, but in a believable way. He snaps at Yor at times. He loses his patience. It feels like a real relationship, in the awkward tension when one partner wants to talk and the other absolutely does not want to talk. I admire that courage and wish more authors would take that risk (calling myself out I guess!).

Green-eyed Monster by bigbruja: another jealous!Loid fic that's lighthearted and fun. This is a comfort reread. I enjoy seeing Loid recognize the threat of a supposed "old friend" of Yor's, questioning his own feelings and how far he needs to go to fend this guy off. The guy is a Garden assassin, unbeknownst to him. I also love Yor's own inner struggle of just wanting everyone to get along, but showing steel when she needs to.

dalliance by rosetintednerdglasses: this is a WIP, but it is HILARIOUS and I hope everyone will go encourage this author to pick this fic back up when they have a chance. TLDR, Twilight (in disguise) is sent on a joint mission with Thorn Princess and flips out internally when he sees it's Yor. Handler then orders him to ensure Thorn Princess continues to cooperate. So as Twilight, he has to sort-of honey trap Thorn Princess, while as Loid he has to keep Yor happy. Poor Yor believes she's torn between two different men and close to cheating on Loid! Situational hilarity all over the place, and fun world-building, like this other WISE agent randomly named "Steel Bunny" (LOL).

Not According to Plan by @kyrathel: love you girl! This is a gift fic for me, but that's not the reason I reread it (even though it's a WIP as well!). It's SO FUNNY. Twilight gets it in his overly anxious head that he MUST defend his wife from the bullies at City Hall, so what does he do? HE INFILTRATES CITY HALL AS A NEW FEMALE HIRE. The world absolutely needs more petty!Twilight! The latest chapter features laxative brownies. Enough said.

Let's start living dangerously by @beannoss: I specifically reread the later parts when dumb Twilight gets over his dumbness and finally talks to Yor! And they kiss again! I love the way huhwaku (beannoss) portrays overthinking Twilight AND overthinking Yor. And also, the simplicity of Yor at the same time. The voice she uses for both of them is refreshing, it really puts you in the mindset of the character. Yor's giggles ("teehee!") as she teases Twilight about his little perfectionist habits are a cute touch to a gentle, heartwarming fic about these two highly competent professionals just starting to take baby steps in how to be competent at a relationship.

Fic that made me emotional:

100% Perfect by @sometimesiship. Where do I begin? How about with the gut aversion I initially had to the premise of a futuristic AI dating bot AU, due to all the tragic, dark AI movies I have watched? But as it neared completion, someone convinced me to give it a try and I AM SO GLAD I DID. You can see my gushing comments in almost every chapter. The development of the relationship between human Yor and AI Loid is so natural, funny at times, poignant always, and beautifully written, even though from an objective standpoint not much exciting stuff happens (I mean canon-typical excitement like murders and spy missions). Sometimesiship has a way of describing emotion that is so raw -- she can portray the same emotion a dozen different ways with analogies and setups and dialogue and whatever -- and it still doesn't feel old. And the emotion that dominated the second half of the story was grief. Basically the grief of loving someone you know you're going to lose. Like being the spouse of a terminal cancer patient. I didn't cry while reading, but it was a closer call than I have had in a VERY long time. So much beauty and humanity in this story. And spoiler (?), it's a happy ending. So I hope you all go check it out!

That's a wrap! If you read this far, stay tuned for a Writer version of Fandom Wrapped 2024!

[anxious-introvert22]

Thoughts after finishing Arcane

Spoilers ahead, mainly for act 3

first off: IT'S OVER wahhhhhh wish we could have more :(

Maddie's betrayal was so unexpected but also fitting given that she was the first to agree with martial law (also that scene with her and Cait kind of gave me the ick) and because of this post:

Mel Medarda the woman you are

SO. MANY. SACRIFICES!!!!

maybe I'm delusional but maybe Jinx isn't dead because of the crow at the end and Cait looking at the Hexgate blueprints??

seeing Claggor, Mylo, Vander, and Powder grow older in the alternate timeline was so healing and I hoped Vi had led a more peaceful life but nope she's dead

Vander died a total of three times poor guy couldn't catch a damn break

Ekko realizing there's still hope for Jinx and getting through to her after reversing her attempts so many times

simultaneously going "yay lesbians" and feeling my skin crawl as a sex-repulsed asexual while watching Vi and Cait's sex scene

the way Viktor and Jayce's ending parallels their beginning was pure cinema

I kind of figured Jayvik wasn't going to be confirmed canon but it is in my heart

previously seeing the theory of Viktor being the mage who helped Jayce but dismissed it because his hands weren't augmented only for it to be true!!

could not believe when they showed Singed with his daughter that man is indestructible

seeing older Powder was so bittersweet because yeah she lost Vi but she didn't lose herself (also her and Ekko were so cute)

Sevika being a representative for Zaun let's goooo

Ekko and Mel really were the MVPs of the final battle

shoutout to the student pianist who took over Loris' position after he was killed!! An unsung hero

Jayce's monologue to Viktor was beautiful but I didn't like the inclusion of his disease as one of the imperfections he thought he needed to fix but made him who he was only because he wasn't trying to eliminate death like Singed but just trying to give himself more time

Jinx's last words to Vi. I fear I may never recover

Vi humming the song Powder sang at the bridge in the opening scene was a nice touch, also when they played it at the end of Paint the Town Blue

I'm really going to miss this series, it was so beautifully made and written and tackled a lot of issues relevant in society. And even though it wasn't a totally happy ending, I'm glad it wasn't half-baked like other finales (cough cough The Umbrella Academy)

Blisters and bedrocks

[pixeltwix]

⚠️Emma May & Ciphertology⚠️

-Backpacking off of my theory from yesterday!! Very long text post incoming-

I’m of the mind where not only do I believe Emma May’s family was in a cult, but that they continued to practice its teachings after being disbanded. From here this is just my own personal ramblings as I have a very long and personal take on Emma May and Fiddleford’s lives and history as a whole and separately. Today will be dedicated to Em’s side (ft her families designs as well :3 )

Emma May’s father, Dale Dixon, is the older brother of Madeline Dixon- the teenage girl who was one of the first to be swayed by this Silas Birchtree. It’s implied she fell for him in place of her boyfriend at the time, but I choose to believe this was a lingering affection she’d keep for life in her worship.

Being a young man at the birth, peak, and end of Ciphertology already with a wife and children, Dale was too closely wooed by the teachings of Silas and the inter-dimensional being that was Bill Cipher. He was a bit of a cult kiss ass, if you will. He’d be the first to do whatever Silas would suggest or order of the cults people and the man was happy to do it. Be it shaving his head and painting on an eye or attempting to build the portal he had zero qualifications for alongside everyone else.

Naturally after the cult was disbanded and everyone was put into witness protection, while Dale accepted the state relocation for his family (to Virginia) he refused any government aid beyond that. Instead dragging his young family and sister into the woods where he constructed a shabby little home for them. A home where no one would contradict his word and he could continue the teachings of Ciphertology.

Emma May was born only a few short years later. And while her father had already named one of her older brothers as a namesake to his idol, Silas, her mother named her in turn for her secret idol, Emmaline Butternubbins. She knew Dale would never accept the original name, so she did what she could to compromise- it was a cope of sorts. Thelma Lou, Em’s mother, unfortunately has no say in her husbands madness and is slowly being broken down to the cult. While she had some resistance when Em was born it wouldn’t last too terribly long as soon every adult figure in the family believed in Ciphertology.

Growing up in the middle of nowhere Appalachia’s, Emma May didn’t have much outside influence other than the mini cult community her father had created over the years within neighboring people. She knew no different than the madness and basic cult ideas of ‘have as many kids and wives as you want just so we can create more followers’ sort of mindset. The only hiccup was that Emma May was never dumb, she wasn’t so easily swayed by the triangles teachings, she always internally questioned everything- no matter what adult was telling her things she always was left with a feeling of ‘is that really true though?’

She kept such thoughts to herself, assuming she wouldn’t have to actually do anything notable within the cult, she was shocked and horrified when at the age of 15 her father was bringing her before an older man to marry. An older man who already had a handful of wives. She knew even if she was older she wouldn’t want this life, seeing upfront her mothers decay in the cult and the mass of siblings that she had..she didn’t want that. She wanted an education, basic rights, and just? Freedom from this. She didn’t know if the outside world would be different, but at that point she didn’t much care. She wanted out and she needed out fast.

Running away from home before the official marriage ceremony she remains on the run until she makes it to Fredericksburg, VA. A bustling friendly town that otherwise left her feeling like she was in an alien world. She looked straight out of the early 1900s in a wave of hip and groovy late 1960’s styles. While she couldn’t read anymore than simple words she skimmed through the phone book of a nearby cafe, and while unable to find any Dixon outside of her indoctrinated family she found hope in searching for names under her mothers maiden name, ‘Finch’. 

Discovering a man in Glass Shard Beach, New Jersey, by the name of Benjamin Finch she manages to find her mothers estranged brother. A man her mother was forced to shun and block out the second he expressed concern over her involvement in a cult. Thankfully upon learning who she was he was more than happy to shelter her, albeit he only lived in a trailer as he practically lived in the museum he worked at. Making her way up the East coast, Emma May finds herself in Jersey, her uncle slowly acclimating her to modern life. Teaching her how to read, to write, and most importantly teaching her the reality of the world. Luckily he wasn’t a religious man of any sorts and rooted her in modern thoughts of science, feminism, and other new age ideas of the time.

Once he felt she was ready he let her attend Glass Shard High, getting the education she always wanted despite struggling to understand the basics. This didn’t get her down though as she was determined to graduate someday. Instead she tracks down local nerd and idea enthusiast, Stanford Pines, someone she hardly finds to be ‘a freak’ considering her cultish upbringing was beyond bizarre (plus she learned from an early age to find beauty in the ‘odd’ or ‘weird’) Befriending a young Ford and learning from him she also befriends Stan, someone who was more than willing to help her break out of her docile and dainty shell. Stan’s girlfriend at the time, Carla McCorkle was equally happy to teach her the modern idea of feminine rather than beaten to death old book concepts. Living in Jersey, in short, was slowly thawing her from the confines of her upbringing- developing into the life she always wanted and frankly? She was thriving!

She was also gaining her own beliefs in this time. Such as ‘marriage is stupid’ and ‘having kids is stupid, I’m never going to have them’ sort of mindset. Thanks to her upbringing she swore then and there that she would never have a family of her own. So, that’s what makes her next phase of life particularly ironic.

After the science project incident in senior year between the Pines brothers the friend circle would face a brutal falling out, the only one keeping in touch with everyone being Emma May herself. Stan is kicked out and the brothers aren’t talking, Carla breaks up with Stan and refuses any more connection to the Pines, and Em is left in limbo to comfort and appease everyone whilst ignoring her own feelings about it all. Between the late night girl talks with Carla, keeping Ford off the edge, and letting Stan stay with her in the trailer it was only a matter of time before her juggling attempts would fall.

And that’s exactly what happened- after Ford discovers she’s been harboring Stan he can’t help the rush of anger, insecurity, and betrayal that someone he considered his only friend left to hide that from him. Also afraid of losing a friend who’s done so much for her in her cult unlearning she’s quick to prove her loyalty. Packing her bags after graduation she joins Ford to Backupsmore to continue supporting him, taking up a diner job beside campus and shacking up in a cheap apartment. She continues secretly offering Stan money when she can as she still feels guilt for her decision, but it becomes less frequent as she’s now supporting herself financially on her own.

But of course her sole company of Ford wouldn’t last forever. Especially when all she tends to hear from him is how cool his roommate is and how’s he’s thrilled to be around another intellectual mind for once. And while he was hesitant to introduce his two friends to one another it was quick history after that-

Em absolutely deals with a lot of survivors guilt and general fear (lots of ‘I can’t believe I left my younger siblings behind, what if thEY were forced to marry that man in my place?!’ and ‘what if the cult tracks me down and forces me back home?!’) and on top of that I already feel she’s got some religious based ptsd and some bpd in there as well, but I think that would make her more endeared to Fiddleford when they first meet. A man who was pretty open about his own anxiety and ocd (idk if that’s a popular hc, but him having ocd makes so much sense to me) definitely helped her understand herself better and the two of them absolutely developed ways to help one another with it. They become each other’s safe spaces essentially <3

I feel like all of this is something I could talk about for hOURS, but I feel I’ve already typed up enough for today. So take this all as you will :) it’s just been super fun rewriting the story I had for her. I always envisioned her to be a teen runaway and living with her estranged uncle in Jersey, but now it makes even more sense plugging in my cult theory. But anywho, I hope this was an enjoyable for y’all to read as it was for me to type

[animalistic00]

Hey!!! Here’s another breakdown of my thoughts I told you it was coming!!!! I just needed time to process because OMG🤯

Cleo’s post of SpongeBobs brain on fire and the mini hims panicking is a MOOD. She didn’t have to call out reader like that though, lmao even though it’s true and definitely how everyone reading it myself included was feeling. The reader then commenting; “help me” only for Cleo to post a SpongeBob and Patrick reaction pic IS EVERYTHING. Pope’s comment makes it even ten times better and more hilarious. AND THE AUDACITY OF JJ TO COMMENT 😂 like you did this brother.

NOW THE TEXTS🤯😭 I needed a whole ass warning for these. Died and came back to life, like you were so wrong (BUT SO RIGHT) for this. I had to take another pause while writing this because BABES this is so phenomenally OUTSTANDING words can’t describe it but I’m going to try my absolute best.

JJ immediately coming to reader and being like “we should wait.” STAWP 😭✋I can’t that’s so unbelievably sweet and thoughtful. Like you can tell, YOU WRITE/SHOW him caring for the reader so freaking well. Him also being like, “this isn’t the best time” you can tell he’s not only so deeply in love with her, but he cares about her so much. Like don’t get me wrong; I definitely get the vibe he absolutely loves her and has loved her romantically for ages; but I also get and feel that he loves and cares for her platonically so hard too. Like yes he wants to date reader, but that’s his best friend first and foremost and it just shows; YOU SHOW IT SO AMAZINGLY.

Him reassuring her😭 he’s so perfect STOP I want him. I want them to end up together. (BUT THEN YOU COME OUT SWINGING WITH RAFE AND IT AINT FAIR)

Okay; this is also another thing and I know I’m gonna repeat myself (I do that a lot) but you actually write him so well. Him being like ; “good or bad; wait no don’t answer that.” Is SOOOOOO- I have so many thoughts. JJ is such a reckless individual but he’s also extremely selfless and loyal to those he cares for and you portray that perfectly. Like poor baby definitely wants to know what reader is thinking and feeling, but he understands that this isn’t a good time and she needs time. SO being the selfless individual he is he’s like we’ll wait until YOUR ready. LIKE PLEASE; this is amazing and perfect. Indescribable. Him being like; “you need to think and I need to prepare myself.” Is so sweet and sad; like I know poor baby is preparing himself for the worst and rejection and how he’ll be able to keep reader in his life. Because let’s be honest he won’t want to lose her😭

THE PLANS BE HAD TO ASK HER OUT 😭☠️ four years ago, then the summer, and then after the season. Mans was trying and that’s actually really cute too and it’s totally in character for him to have plans but then BE IMPULSIVE AND IGNORE THEM

The line; “I always have plans when it comes to you.” I NEED TO SAY NOTHING ELSE.

Him still offering to have the conversation after everything has calmed down and the reader is ready is just MWAH. No words needed, it explains itself. Before he tells her that until then, they’re best friends and he cares about her being happy. That, that’s all he cares about. He’s so perfect LIKE I CANT. CAN I HAVE HIM? PLEASE??!?

Also the ma’am✋😍

Then them immediately talking about pranking Pope is HILARIOUS and actually such a great detail and addition. It shows how close they are as best friends and even though with all the drama and feelings in the mix they will be BEST FRIENDS first.

P4L

The instagram POST🥰 Besties fr. Sarah calling them trouble makers or finders is so real; CUZ THEY BOTH. Also I love Cleo so much. Her comment is nothing short of amazing, and I stand our wife. AND THEN POOR POPE😭😂 I love and LIVE for their and this dynamic.

The gingerbread houses post from Cleo, are amazing and I can’t. Her house, as it should be💅, WAS STUNNING!!! I have no idea what JJ was doing but GOOD LORD, he um…tried? Bless his heart, let’s keep him out on the football field. NOW CLEO COMPLIMENTING RAFE?!? 👀 his house does look good, but I know wifey still mad on readers behalf so I was SURPRISED when I saw that. Not only that, Rafe hanging out with everyone. Like reader is one powerful woman 🗣️💅 she’s keeping EVERYONE in line. (Rafe’s house was good fr though) I don’t even have words for John B’s house. LIKE HOW DID JJ DO BETTER?!? Also Rafe legit admitting that he tried so hard so he’d be invited back is so cute and sad.

Readers Christmas post is adorable. AND POOR TOPPER, like please this man is struggling for his life. Someone please update this mans, he’s so lost and I love it. Rafe needs to talk to him for real. Like please. (At the same time I love him being so lost and it should definitely continue on for a bit hehe 😈) Cleo was definitely right about crazy crowd choice because whew, again talk about readers power.

Now I’m not gonna lie, I’m a bit confused on the letter one. Is Rafe posting a picture of a letter the reader wrote (that was my first guess) or is he posting a pic of one he wrote to her? AGAIN TOPPER in the comments confused😂 Rafe telling him to “shut up,” was wrong of him.

THE PIC OF RAFE AND JJ. The POWER reader holds should be feared by all. Also the photo is actually so funny, (and I wanna know the story in real life) but even better I wanna know the story behind the picture in this AU. Like what was JJ doing with all those glasses MUCH LESS ON HIS FACE? How did reader get these two to agree to go out to dinner with her, and much less them staying civil for HER 🥰🤭😩 and this time Pope in the comments being confused is hilarious.

Now the texts between reader and Rafe…I can’t 😭 gonna have to break it down just like the JJ ones.

Rafe starting off the text with thanking reader and saying how he’s missed her is so sad. Like he obviously is still head over heels for her and is so glad for ANY crumb he gets.

POLYAMOROUS?!?? Please. Please. I beg because I cannot choose for the life of me and I don’t want there to be a choice. But her being like; “JJ had fun.” Is such a big deal even if it was her, it’s the fact that it was also her and them. Like you know they secretly enjoyed each others company. That or I’d like to at least see reader remain close friends with whoever doesn’t “win” and actually for Rafe and JJ to become close. Just for everyone to eventually become close and besties 😭 (FEED MY DELULU PLEASE?🙏)

Rafe saying we should give JJ a chance FLABBERGASTED ME. Still leaves me flabbergasted when I read it. Was not expecting that from him, but it honestly shows how much he’s grown and matured from before. And how serious he is about being our friend first and foremost. As he says. Which leads me to the; “because I’m your friend. I told you I would be the best friend you've ever had. Your friend would want you to be happy. And I think you need to give him a chance.” Like I can’t with him. That’s- it’s indescribable. That’s so selfless and truly shows how much he cares for the reader. I’d honestly immediately fold if someone told me this 😂☠️ poor reader cuz I could never. Why do they both have to be so sickly sweet and selfless?

I canttttttttttt; YOUR PAYING FOR MY THERAPY. Rafe being like as your ex, I know what I want, what you mean to mean, who my true love is, and what not. Is UGHHHHH and then him being like you deserve to figure out what you want and who you love and I’m here for whatever you choose. ☠️ I both love and hate that. I hate making choices so I’m like “NOOO, AHHHHH” but it is so sweet.

I apologize (LIES) I actually don’t; no but this is so long. I just had so many thoughts and feelings that I wanted to get out and share with you especially since you seemed to enjoy my last post. In case you’re confused I’m posting/rebloging this on my reblog account. I’m animalistic0, anywho I love your work so much this story is the best. Absolutely OBSESSED. Thank you for sharing, and creating this artwork.

Kildare University- Sophomore Year: 9

Synopsis: A Social Media AU in which you find yourself at Kildare University along with your friends. Starting over at a new school shouldn't be difficult. Well, except for the fact that your ex-boyfriend is the quarterback, and you are the drum major. Add in a little bit of drama, a lot of friendship, an ex who can't seem to let you go, and a best friend who has been in love with you since you were kids and well? Welcome to KU!

Pairings: Past!Rafe x Reader, JJ x Reader, Rafe x Reader

Masterlist

Taglist:

@akobx @onelonelybitch @the-universe-and-karma @beeskisses @frankoceanluvr11 @ivy-34 @rafecameronsloverrrrr @k-k0129 @asyouwish-fromcabin3 @xoxo-ada @aariahnaa @strawberryforks @urbrunettebombshell @whatisoutside @spenceatiny18 @animalistic0

[azaharinflames]

Yeah BuckTommy’s ending made me not want to bother anymore. I had originally stopped in Season 5, came back in Season 7 (didn’t miss anything SL wise because it’s all the same) and yeah no point at this point to trying anymore cause all we are going to get is more of the exact same stuff we have been seeing season after season. Nothing will change. People just need to move along to new shows. Only thing 911 season 7 and Season 8 did was reintroduce the world back to Lou Ferrigno Jr and now people are starting to look for him in other shows. He deserves it.

Hi, Nonnie! Thanks for the ask

I feel you. To be quite honest, I started to feel disappointed back in Season 6. Buck's post-lighting strike theory had a lot of potential, and 612 definitely made me curious and like I needed to watch what happened next immediately. And then we got the superpowers (which I liked, actually. 613 was fun), and then... nothing, really. Buck meets Natalia and, as much as I tried to like her... it just felt lazy, half-cooked, and extremely forced. Which in retrospect makes sense, as they thought it was the end and they wanted to give Buck a HEA, but... yeah, it disappointed me a lot.

But then Season 7 managed to capture me with the initial emergency, and then Tommy graced our screens, and... here we are. Disappointed once more, but now to a point where I just know to not give them more chances - for now, at least. And as much as I would love to be proven wrong, for the foreseeable future I'm afraid.

One thing is true: I'm glad so many people discovered Lou. I first watched him in one ep of HIMYM, fell in love with him, didn't find out his name then and eventually forgot by the time I was watching 704, fell in love with him in 911, and then when I saw someone recognize him post 704... things made a lot of sense in my mind lmao.

But yes - I'm very happy he at the very least can take a lot more fans from this. I love his acting and the way he emotes, and he just seems like a true sweetheart. Hopefully, we get to see him in more stuff soon, he's definitely shown he can make an audience fall in love with him.

My inbox is always open for ranting, venting, discussing (911 or whatever), and for opinions (popular or unpopular, hit me with it)

Take care <3

[biancadoes1]

First of all: happy birthday! Wishing you lots of happiness and many more years of life! 🥳

So I have a group of friends that I care about a lot. We met because of our love for Bridgerton. Like many of us, they ended up boarding the "Lukola" ship. I’ve grown closer to them over the past few months, but I feel like they’re starting to act strangely regarding Nicola, especially after the addition of A and JD to the story.

They’ve been judging Nic and Luke’s posts as if they know details no one else does. They’re judging Nic as if she were Judas and had done terrible things. They accuse her of only caring about self-promotion, sidelining Luke, and being the one to blame for the nasty comments people direct at Luke. They’re saying Nic does everything deliberately and knows she’s harming Luke on purpose. They even claim Netflix and Shonda only care about Nic and forget that Luke exists.

I’ve tried to bring some sense to the conversation by saying that social media represents only 10% or less of a celebrity’s life and that we can’t judge things as if we actually know them or live with them. But I feel like they withdraw when I make comments like that. I believe they just want an echo chamber for their thoughts.

I’ve been thinking about distancing myself, but these girls were a great support for me when I lost a close relative. I feel ungrateful for even considering stepping away. At the same time, I’m bothered by the way they talk about Nicola. We’re all women and we know the pressure of being a woman, especially in the world of fame.

No offense, anon, but your friends sound like they need help. Do they all know how to tie their own shoes? It sounds like they haven’t learned a lot in life.

Anyone attempting to claim that Nicola or Luke are attempting to hurt each other over social media with their behaviors is a tried and true idiot.

Get new a new group. If you’re bothered by this and have a hard time seeing past it, it’s definitely time to find different people to talk with.

I understand feeling some obligation to stay for fear of seeming ungrateful but you also have to take care of yourself and in a situation involving a group chat with people with the same interest, you should always come first.

Protect your own peace. There’s nothing selfish about doing that. There are plenty of other people in the fandom who think like you do and are willing to have discussions. You just have to find them.

[sleeplessbeautyy]

Welcome to my blog ⋆˚࿔ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

About me:

♱ my name is caroline (but I go by carrie) ^.^

♱ 13 yrs old

♱ phd in being dramatic and bed rotting

♱ hobbies: making wishlists I can't afford, reading, writing, baking, watching true crime videos, playing w my cat, and making moodboards

♱ music: lana, laufey, marina, fiona apple, pheobe bridgers, deftones, fleetwood mac, joy devision, avril lavigne, ayesha, mitski, bebadoobee, tyler the creator, and many other artists (my music taste is as consistent as my mood)

♱ movies: ten things I hate about you, the virgin suicides, perks of being a wallflower, titanic, jennifer's body, my girl, dead poets society, the outsiders, american psycho, black swan, and steven king movies + like every classic horror movie

♱ books: the outsiders, coraline, the virgin suicides, camilla (and other madeleine l'engle books), pjo, pride and prejudice, the devil wears prada, gossip girl

about this blog:

♱ this is my first blog, so i'm kinda diving in blind

♱ i'll probably post mostly relatable stuff, moodboards, random thoughts, fashion inspo, and cute pictures

♱ my no no's: nsfw, pedos, pro ed or pro sh, transphobes, homophobes, racists, and any other form biggotry

♱ i'm pretty busy most days but i will still try my best to post consistently <3

♱ every picture is mine unless stated otherwise!

That's it for now! Until my next post my loves U>ᴥ︎<U

[cozzzynook]

Ultra Magnus seems to be just a little off all shift. When Rodimus and Megatron try to ask him about it, he completely blows over it, insisting he's fine even though he sounds strained and feels warm just standing next to. Rodimus takes it in stride, recognizing Magnus was in some kind of mood and clearly didn't want to be pushed, but Megatron took it more personally. Ever since the two hooked up one night, Minimus seemed to be making himself smaller around Megatron. He wasn't exactly ignoring him, but he just seemed so reserved compared to the mech who was working so hard at coming out of his shell.

Megatron tried to talk about it with Minimus, but the conversations died out when Minimus would start to look stressed. Megatron never knew what he was saying to push Minimus away, but clearly he was doing something wrong. When one day he came to the deck and saw Ultra Magnus with Rodimus instead of Minimus, he felt even worse, like he truly ruined something with Minimus. The minibot hadn't shown his true self in so many cycles, seemingly reverting back to wearing the Magnus armor full time, which made something in Megatron's spark hurt deeply.

The shift was quiet, or about as quiet as any activity with Rodimus could be, and felt tense. Magnus was fidgety and his venting sounded terribly harsh, and Megatron couldn't push him anymore without making things worse. It was a horribly uncomfortable several hours, when out of nowhere, Ultra Magnus made a choked noise. He immediately excused himself from duty and sped off down the hall, surprising everyone there to see him go. Magnus never used his shift breaks, what was so bad it made him leave his post?

Megatron had to know. He left Rodimus in charge despite the co-captain demanding to go with him, but someone had to stay on deck while the other captain and second in command were occupied. Megatron took off after Magnus, noticing with worry that the commander really had left fast. He had already lost sight of Magnus and was hitting dead ends while he tore through the halls like a mad mech. He was running towards the med bay in his search and finally saw Ultra Magnus. He tried to grab the commander, and nearly jumped when his arm clattered onto the ground when Megatron held it. This was going to make it even harder if Minimus had left the armor, there had to be something awful happening for him to just leave the suit standing around like scrap metal.

Megatron collected his thoughts, Minimus had to be nearby. He was snapped back to reality when he heard a quiet cry from a supply closet just further down the hallway. Megatron ripped the door open, disregarding the damages. He could hardly take a step into the cramped room, but he didn't need to get any closer. He looked down, and saw the mech he was looking for.

Minimus was laid on the floor, looking up at Megatron with real fear in his optics. It made Megatron's spark ache, but he couldn't focus on the hurt at that moment when there was something more important. It was hard to see at first in the dark room, but it was now clear Minimus was cradling a tiny sparkling in his arms. The little thing was held to his pouches, but it was fussing about so badly. It made a static laced cry, just like he heard earlier, and it was already enough to make Megatron's sire protocols come alive. He got to his knees to be closer to Minimus' level and looked closer at the sparkling. It was a deep green with shining silver accents, and unmistakably, the bitty had helm panels just like Megatron did under his helmet.

"I'm so sorry," Minimus said quickly, holding his little one closer as he tried to sit up. He winced at the motion, making Megatron reach out to hold the minibot down gently. "I-I didn't know how to tell you, I am so sorry captain."

Megatron felt so lost, his world had just changed in seconds. He needed more answers than Minimus was giving. "Tell me what Minimus? Because it seems there's many things I should know about here that I don't."

It took some time and some tears for Minimus to get the whole truth out. The two had been trying to court each other for some time before their spontaneous hook up when spirits were high after a harsh battle deep in space. The day after they interfaced is when things started going south. Minimus felt ashamed, not because of anything Megatron did, but for throwing himself at the big mech like overeager shareware. Their courting was going slow, and Minimus was happy with taking his time to get closer to Megatron until his array got the better of him. He shied away from Megatron after that, not wanting to see what he was sure to be disappointment in his optics when he looked at Minimus. He feared he rushed and spoiled what they were building together, so it seemed the only option for him was to build back more distance. Then later on during his annual medical exam he found out he was sparked.

He knew it was Megatron's from their night together, and he was completely humiliated. Not only did he wreck the relationship he had been chasing, but now he was carrying for a mech who probably didn't want him anymore after making such a fool of himself. The responsible thing would have been to snuff the spark out, but Minimus couldn't bring himself to do it. He felt selfish and terrible, but he just couldn't get rid of his sparkling. He could only pray to primus that the bitty took after him and he could avoid the conversation of who the sire was, but that was hardly a plan. Minimus was fighting with himself every day, and it was only worsened when Megatron would try to ask him why he seemed so distracted. He should have told him about the sparkling, but he could never get the nerve to do it. He couldn't tell Megatron and make him stay out of pity, and his poor spark couldn't handle the idea of Megatron making him get rid of the growing spark that circled his own.

Before he knew it, Minimus' frame was showing when the sparkling dropped, and he knew everything would come out when someone asked him about it. That's when Ultra Magnus had become his regular frame again, making Minimus feel even worse about himself. He resented the armor, he was so ashamed, and he was mad at himself for getting into the mess in the first place, but he was never upset with his bitty, the sweet thing was innocent in Minimus' horrible web of lies.

All of that led to the current moment, where Minimus didn't make it to the medbay and had to deliver his sparkling in a closet to hide from anyone. Megatron felt so many mixed emotions, he was so wildly frustrated and upset Minimus hid everything the way he did. It made Megatron feel guilty that he made Minimus feel pressured enough to hide it in the first place, when he should have communicated clearly after that night. The two were definitely going to need to schedule an appointment with Rung, but that was a far off plan in Megatron's processor when his offspring was crying right in front of him. He reached for the sparkling, brushing one of the tall panels on the bitty's helm. They looked at their sire with big red eyes and felt their spark call to Megatron. He took the little one from Minimus and held them like they were the most precious thing in the galaxy. Minimus was backed up against the wall, watching the two interact. His field was a difficult read, a sour mix of sadness, love, joy, and worry. He already loved his creation with his whole spark, he was just so sorry he was already doing so wrong by them.

Megatron shifted how he held his sparkling and reached for Minimus. He held the minibot's servo and met his eyes, not looking disgusted with him or disappointed like Minimus feared. "I promise you Minimus, no matter if you still want me anymore as a partner, I will always be here for you and our treasure."

It was the first smile Megatron had drawn from Minimus in so long, it made him feel light again. Minimus shifted to lean on Megatron for support, watching their sparkling finally settle down and relax once they had their sire. "If you could ever forgive me for my deception, than of course I want you Megatron."

The tension that had been so thick between the two of them since the ordeal started vanished so quickly. Minimus took back his dear little spark, allowing Megatron to pick the two of them up much easier. The first course of action was actually going to the medbay. Minimus may have had an easy delivery but Megatron refused to let him go on without an exam, not even mentioning their little one needed to be looked over. At the medbay while the sparkling was being cared for, the two could talk further about their real feelings and plans for the future, for their relationship and for their family. At least conjunxing could go on smoothly when the time was right, Minimus had already given Megatron the greatest gift he could have asked for without even knowing.

Whoever you are, thank you for sharing this wonderful story & fic!

Oh my gosh i love it!!!

[maramarabum]

I can't sleep so it's tbhk theory time

Okay so this is something i have posted before, but now i'm gonna lay more examples supporting my theory

The theory being that everything (or most of) what Tsukasa does is based on Hanako's wishes, based mostly on old chapters

So situation one: Chapter 19, The one where Mitsuba dies

So in this chapter we find out that Tsukasa grants wishes of supernaturals, and we also see that he does it in very unconventional and grotesque ways, as we see him granting Mitsuba's wish of having many friends by turning him into this weird ass monster. And I think in this chapter, we also see him granting Hanako's wish for the first time in the series, but we will get to that later.

Chapter 21, The Tea Party and the door dimension

Yashiro gets kidnapped by Tsukasa and the rest broadcasting room gang to a tea party, the reason being, apparently, to kill her by drowning her in the room, but even as Yashiro herself points out, it doesn't really seem like they actually want to kill her

The weird water that they drowned her in instead transported her to the door dimension that can lead her anywhere, and this is where she goes through the door that leads her to the dimension where Hanako is a living student at her school (and then she gets transported to the current year. oh well).

I know it's a lot of talk and no explenation but bear with me we will get there soon

Chapter 32, Then Mitsuba becomes a school mystery

So 11 chapter later we get direct confirmation that Tsukasa in fact does not want Yashiro to die

And most importantly, we find out Tsukasa actually remade Mitsuba

And this is where it gets to the connection point of the chapters discussed

Kou asks why did Tsukasa remake Mitsuba if he was the one to kill him, to which he answers:

""Just because?" "There was a movie I watched with Amane with an artificial human, I wanted to make one" "But, I dunno... pretty cool, right?"

A hell of an unsatisfactory answer, and he sounds really unpassionate and not really sure, forming the answer more like a question, almost like he's thinking about the reason at the spot, which is exactly what i think hes doing, and it's not the first time.

Chapter 21, the reason he wants to kill Yashiro. We know for a fact that's not how he views his relationship with Hanako, and he literally ends the sentence with "Well, whatever. Anyway."

Chapter 19, asked by Hanako why he turn Mitsuba into that weird ass monster, similiar to chapter 32, he starts with a "hmm..." and thinks for a minute, before actually answering (except this time, his actual answer seems more honest, in a way)

It's really easy to tell when he's hiding his actual motives. And the actual motives, what were they?

To get an answer to that, we don't exactly look for direct quotes for Hanako saying what he wishes for, we more start to speculate what he might be wishing for inside, what he doesn't say.

It's really not that hard, take for example, Hanako wishing he could have somehow met Yashiro when he was still alive, which is exactly what Tsukasa caused in chapter 21

This would be his true intentions behind sending Yashiro to the door dimension.

So how about the whole Mitsuba thing? Well, Hanako was never really happy about Kou having a crush on Yashiro. He has probably thought something like "I wish he would stick to someone else" at least once, right?

And then Kou brings over a ghost student his age to the bathroom stall, asking him how can he deal with him instead of exorcism

Hanako looks like hes getting a bad feeling about him (is he... you know...)

"I want friends. I want to stay with my friends..." Here we have the exact wish that allowed him to "kill" Mitsuba, while also granting his and Hanako's wish. If Tsukasa didn't do anything, Mitsuba would be free to go. He found a friend, and his unfinished business is done. But then, Kou wouldn't stick around with him anymore, so Hanako's wish wouldn't be granted, and also Tsukasa would have taken no part in granting Mitsuba's wish.

The actual way Tsukasa wanted to grant these wishes is by letting Mitsuba turn Kou into a supernatural similar to him, quote "If you make him just like you... you could be together forever, huh?" (THE PARALLELS THE PARALLELS UNRELATED TO THIS THEORY OHHH THE MITSUKOU PARALLELS GOD DESTROY ME SMITE MY BEING)

Directing Mitsuba, guiding him what to do, while also making it seem like it's his own choice, like it's what he wants.

But then Hanako comes over and kills him before that can happen. And he doesn't even look like his confused about whats happening, but he still asks Tsukasa, asks why is he doing this, like he want's a conformation.

Because he knows it was because of him.

Since Tsukasa could tell what Mitsuba wished for because Mitsuba already made a deal with him, it would mean Hanako made a deal with Tsukasa too, all these years ago, a wish that might have been "a little vauge". And also, Hanako doesn't know which one of his thoughts made Tsukasa do this, considering his ways of granting anything are very off the wall, and also, as we discussed before, Tsukasa won't tell him.

(Hanako touching his seal after Kou asks Yako about Mitsuba. His face looking sorrowful, like he's thinking about something)

All he knows is that this happened is because he met Yashiro. He hasn't seen his brother for 20-50 years, and he showed up right after Yashiro became his assistant.

His ghost "life" was boring, nothing really happened, and he stopped wishing for anything. He accepted that he had no future, he needed to take care of the school so he could gain god's forgiveness. But then Yashiro showed up, and his life suddenly was more eventful, he now had a girl to protect. Then after her Kou showed up, and now he had two friends who still had young hope in them.

And it rubbed off on him, it had awakened some hope in him too, made him start wishing again. And now his friends are paying the price of that.

And also it's almost 4 A.M. now as I'm writng this.

So yeah if you have any thoughts on this, other examples or something that contraries my theory please reblog and let me know, i would really like to hear it

(me right now)

[destiel-wings]

Dean Winchester & hug dynamic analysis

I was thinking about how whenever Dean hugs someone he's almost always the one hugging the other and how this links to his psychological trauma of always being the caretaker of people, making himself bigger to protect them.

Because that's how Dean sees himself, as a shield for others, and then I thought about how Cas actually is the shield, and he's HIS SHIELD, specifically, the only one who's really there to protect HIM, which is why it hits so much when we see this:

The way Cas wraps his arms around him, trying to protect him with his whole body--that he'd use as a shield and give up in a second if he could spare him from any pain and save him.

(for context: Dean was about to go use the soul bomb on Amara there, it was a suicide mission)

Bobby is another one that hits, he hugs him as the big hugger because he's his father, he loves him and he's actually here to protect him (and Dean LETS him -barely, but he lets him *and Cas* - in a way that he doesn't let Sam)

I watched a compilation of Sam & Dean hugs to check if i was right about it, but it's almost always Dean the big hugger with Sam, except when he's about to die or Sam sees him alive again after losing him.

Even then, Dean mostly tries to hug Sam as the big hugger anyway, with at least one arm, like a way to comfort him, making him feel protected, like his body language is saying "I'm here, I'm okay, I'm still strong, i can still protect you" (because their real father failed and Dean thinks it's his job).

He rarely lets himself be the little one hugged with Sam, unless he's barely conscious. Which is why it kills me so much more now that in this moment (s14, when Dean was going to lock himself in the Ma'lak box cause he was possessed by Michael) and Sam has a desperate breakdown and punches him (to stop him) he forcefully hugs him as the little hugger, the way Dean always kept him, like a way of saying "I still need you to protect me, please don't do this to yourself".

In the scene below he gives Sam his blessing to do a dangerous (possibly suicidal) mission, and one of his arms is down, but the other one tries to stay up--he's forcing himself to do it and he struggles because he still wants to protect him, but (as the seasons progress) he slowly becomes more prone to let go.

So in this view the hug dynamic becomes an indicator of how Dean sees Sam (and himself) and his protector role, how adult and self sufficient he considers Sam, and how much he lets people around him take care of him, lowering his walls and letting himself be hugged.

This is also why i think hugs from characters like Garth or Charlie are so special, because they're just like us: they see Dean and they just know that he needs to be hugged a lot, and that he's not used to it, so they just go for it-- and it's so normal and kind and spontaneous that Dean's just not used to it-- he doesn't know how to respond (especially with Garth, at the beginning, but as the seasons progress, he learns to, and he even initiates the hug eventually).

I love the hugs where they're 50/50 (one arm up, one arm down both), feels like they're equals, both taking care of each other. I feel like with Sam and Dean, this indicates a healthier dynamic, because Dean lets go a little of the role that was imposed to him and manages to see Sam as the strong individual that he is. But the same applies to 50/50 hugs with other characters, like with Cas, where I feel like it testifies how equals they feel in terms of being fighters, there's a show of respect of each other's strength that transpires by the gesture (which is even more astounding considering that Cas is literally a powerful angel).

And just to end on a destiel note, I'd like to note the possessiveness and protectiveness of Dean (rightfully so) whenever he finds Cas after he thought he had lost him, and how that translates into his body/hug language: