#but then why does he do it why would he half ass an album the creative process of which he doesn't seem to care enough to take part in

[bisexualnamjoonie]

wait so jjk1 is literally just seven so far??? like there's no other song rn no definite plans for the album no overall artistic view??? or did I misunderstand what he said in suchwita when he said he hadn't really worked on anything else so far???

[s1aywalker]

꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ little miss scare all. ꨄ

↷ ✩ —— sam monroe x alt! girlfriend reader headcanons. (nsfw 18+)

notes: a little slutty a little smutty! minors do not interact or else i'll collect your kneecaps. can we please stop kidding ourselves... this dude wants a goth girlfriend. and it's my duty as the resident metalhead mommy to serve my community. one alt!reader fic at a time.

| | | | she's got a date at midnight with nosferatu. oh baby, lily munster ain't got nothing on you. ⋆˚࿔

𝜗𝜚˚⋆ sam monroe is, first and foremost, a fucking hater for the fun of it. the type of dude that calls anyone who doesn't listen to anything he deems cool a poser. the type of dude that sees a chick wearing a metallica shirt that she got from the thrift store and, with a straight face, tells her to name three albums without missing a single beat. so he thinks it's pretty fucking sick to have a girlfriend that can keep up with his, perhaps to most, acquired tastes in music.

𝜗𝜚˚⋆ sam monroe who is ridiculously stubborn but secretly loves when you introduce him to new bands. he always acts like they're just okay after you popped the cd you recently bought into his stereo, and sometimes he'll even lie and say he already knows who they are. that he discovered them months ago. but then it's a few songs deep into the album, and wait... why is this actually fucking good?

𝜗𝜚˚⋆ sam monroe who is an absolute nightmare to argue with. even when it's not serious, when it's just having differing opinions on silly things like which vocalist is better, which album is the best. he's so stuck on his own likes and dislikes and everything is, as fred durst would say, his way or the highway. it's almost like he enjoys arguing with you... and maybe he does, because you can be just as stubborn when it's a topic as passionate as music, and he thinks it's cute when you stand your ground. he stopped actually caring about the argument ten minutes ago, and now he's just trying to piss you off because he thinks it's funny.

𝜗𝜚˚⋆ sam monroe who has broadened his musical horizons thanks to you. bands like type o negative and h.i.m that constantly incorporate very obvious "romantic" themes into their songs never really did anything for him because he thought it was lame and corny. until he had to endure you constantly listening to them. now he'll claim his enjoyment of them is from a form of stockholm syndrome... but maybe he just never had a person that he could relate them to before he met you. he thinks about you when he hears be my druidess or for you. plus, they're one hell of an aphrodisiac, and he quickly discovered just how easy it is to get a hand under your bra or in your pants when they're playing.

𝜗𝜚˚⋆ sam monroe who loves fishnets... maybe to an unhealthy degree. every time he sees you wearing them, he can't help but think about how good they make your legs look, how good he knows your ass looks under that skirt, and the thoughts of him tearing them to shreds instantly begin to flood in. and that's exactly what he does, the second he gets the chance. those poor tights never stand a chance in the same room as him... he'll promise to get you another pair while he's slotted between your legs and your hips are lifted, a promise he only keeps half the time. as his fingers dig into the fabric and start ripping them apart like it's the easiest thing in the world. like that's what those little tiny holes were made for. it's foreplay to him. but sometimes he's too impatient to even get them all the way off. sometimes he'll rip the crotch and push your panties aside to fuck you with a nice view of your legs still covered.

𝜗𝜚˚⋆ sam monroe who encourages your piercing urges. you mention wanting a new hole in your ear or nose? he's on board. when you mention wanting your tongue pierced? that's hot. immediate filthy thoughts of what it would feel like when you guys are sucking face nasty style. or better yet, what it would feel like rubbing against his cock. when you mention wanting your nipples done? he thought he was going to have a stroke on the spot, and he's offering to make the appointment for you if it means seeing that in his face as soon as possible. he'll even hold your hand and let you squeeze him until your knuckles are white while you're getting them done. but once it came time for the boring aftercare part, his excitement drops the second he hears about healing time.... weeks? he has to wait weeks to put them in his mouth? but he'll make those weeks worth it once you've given him the go ahead. he's actually fucking feral about it when you do.

𝜗𝜚˚⋆ sam monroe who lets you do his eyeliner. honestly, he's a little envious how good you can make yours look. effortlessly sharp and smoky. and you've always teased him about how shitty he does his. how he holds the pencil, how he has zero technique and just smudges it on with his fingers and doesn't even wash his hands afterward. so you jump on the chance to do it for him... it's only a bonus for both of you that you get to sit on his lap and be inches away from each others pretty faces. he's grumpily telling you not to poke his eye out and pretending he's not getting hard from the proximity alone. you notice... it's literally impossible to not feel it. and now you're trying to hurry this little makeover before you get the urge to ride his fucking thigh... but that's what you end up doing anyway. he's got one eye done and that pencil is long forgotten while his own hands are guiding your hips as they drag across his leg, searching for more of that friction his jeans provided. whining and desperate while he's saying how cute it is that you just couldn't wait five more minutes.

𝜗𝜚˚⋆ sam monroe who fucks you in the shitty venue bathroom, one covered in stickers and flyers and permanently tainted with the stench of beer, while the equally as shitty opening band plays. it's not romantic. it's hard and fast, sloppy and impatient. because he has you bent over in the stall, repeatedly slamming his cock into your cunt and not caring about how loud it might be. the downtuned guitar and blast beats raging on outside the door works as both a brutal soundtrack to his brutal rhythm, and to muffle every grunt and moan that reverberates against the cramped space. there isn't enough time to be sweet and caring, because this set is about to end and you guys still have to secure a good spot in the pit... but he'll still kiss you and rub his thumb at the mascara bleeding under your eyes, while he's stuffing his cock back into his pants and you're wiping the cum dripping down your inner thigh.

[dreadful-windandrain]

listened to the real will wood album three times yesterday. here are my thoughts:

am i being detaIIIIIIIIINED? am i under arrest?? (yes!)

"this is a song written by a dead guy" the implications..........

unsyncopate cotard's solution right this fucking second

the transition into dr sunshine lives is SO GOOD

was it when i left the cave and swore i'd. NEVER GO BACK!!!!!!!

how did he make white knuckle jerk hornier. what's with the moans. and why do i like it better than the original.

HEART BLUER THAN MY b-b-b-b-bbbbbaaaaa~a~LLLLLS!

the weird voices he uses in thermodynamic lawyer sure were a choice

fucking ADORE front street live. even better than the original and my favorite off of this album. literally just. the tempo changes. "if you're not on your worst behavior... get the fuck out!" "is this shit enough proof for you?" "give us all that fucking osmosis! oh, yeah!!" "sing it with me you fuckers!". he made a villian song sound even more evil. wtf and well done

i trusted you i trusted you i trusted you i trusted you i tru

the long ass intro for hand me my [x], i'm [y]! is fabulous. the anticipation!!!

the tempo is also faster here than the original which is awesome but overstimulating as hell when the second half of the bridge hits

take it away, creeps

here's a song *first chord of 2012*

by retracing myyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ste-epppppppppp pssssssssss

the guitar riff that starts mr capgras makes my brain perk up like a bluetooth speaker being connected

FUCKING HURT EACH OTHER! COME ON!!!!

yet another banger intro! the latter half of this album does not miss!

can we drop this shit? i wanna see you at each other's throats, man, make some fucking noise. one two three oh YEAAAAAAAH

the transition here also. magical.

i definitely didn't almost cry at the end of fibrodysplasia ossificans progressiva when the tempo slowed down and everyone was vocalizing

-ish is so fucking underrated oh my GOD you people don't talk about it enough

the people who sang "myself again" after "and i'm gonna be"...... read the room

the new harmonies on where do you get off, front street, and mr capgras give me life

overall i love it but i do believe that ww didn't sing the song with five names to spite me personally. he did sing it on in case i die but still. you don't know how much tax fraud i would commit to hear it live with a full band

[munsster]

Hiiiiiiii loved your Eddie munson x wealthy!reader fix, I was wondering if you could do a billy Hargrove one? Thank you bby💗

billy with a wealthy s/o

A/N: its 100% giving reluctant allies to lovers gif cred: @selinasdalton

Warnings: partying, drinking/smoking, insults (mostly playful), pet names (sweetheart), implied sex

the FIRST thing i thought of was reader rolling with the popular crowd

ie harrington, tommy, carol etc

and seeing billy for the first time at a party

honestly, he probably offers you a drink or better yet a smoke

and you’re disgusted (horny)

and he thinks he’s totally gonna score (you accepted his drink offer)

neither of you really remember how or when it started

you can never agree on an anniversary date

but you both know he fell first

mainly because he was absolutely floored by just how many insults you had ready in your back pocket

“the ball goes in the basket, airhead” “you look like rob lowe if he was a woman and a munch” “my dog could sink more free throws than you and he’s 20 years old”

honestly, he was a little flattered by your creativity

which is why he knew he had to get in your pants somehow

and the first time you invited him over to your house, you wouldn’t hear the end of it

“hey, richie rich, where’s your robot maid?”

“oh, it’s her day off”

“…”

“i’m kidding,” you tease, “she’s not a robot”

he does not know how to handle the amount of shit you spoil him with

“billy… i really like your necklace”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“i can buy you a new—”

“i dont need a new one, sweetheart”

and you don’t know how to handle the fact that he doesn’t want to be spoiled

but you eventually figure out how to be sneaky with it

making him lunches (con caviar), ‘accidentally’ misplacing his shoes so you have to buy him new ones, taking him to fancy barbershops and paying half the cost so it still seems like he’s paying the full price

some may say it’s manipulative. you say it’s loving.

and the first time he buys you a meaningful, mildly expensive gift, you tear up a little bit

you bringing him to the golf course and finding out 1) he’s really good at golf and 2) he is excellent cougar bait

not that you want the over 60’s hitting on your man, but it’s very sweet when they send him drinks and call him a handsome young man

you definitely encourage him to play into it with some “how are you young ladies this evening?” and “don’t you have to be 21 to sit at the bar?” action

he has his fun with it, but he really only does it ‘cause it makes you smile

would never BEG for anything…. but he DOES get really sad when you don’t bring him to the mall to watch you try on shoes or sweaters or whatever.

yeah, if there’s something he’d beg for, it’s that

he lives for the moment you walk out of the dressing room, do a twirl, and ask (like clockwork) “do you like it?”

his answer is always yes, but you claim to know the differences in his tone that indicate what he actually likes

sometimes, if he’s lucky, you’ll let him sit inside the dressing room. watching you change. watching you change.

he is the reason you’re both banned from sears at starcourt

the first really expensive watch you gift him is INSANE

it has like four dials and you said something about alligator leather and 18 carat gold

he can’t decide between wearing it on special occasions to preserve its value or never taking it off because he loves you

when you do stay at his house, usually no ones home

but you have met max

and she likes to stay away from you

but you took her to get a new skateboard and you think that might’ve helped her warm up to you

just a smidge

now she lets you gossip about stupid boys and watch shitty action movies with her

she even promised she would go as croft’s robin for halloween if you swore you’d go as wilson’s batman

that was an interesting halloween for billy

your mansion house has this shiny ass gramophone in one of the downstairs offices

and you told billy that the last thing that had played on it was a glenn miller ‘best of’ album

and that was just not good enough for billy

so one night, he brought over his twisted sister vinyl and convinced you to dance with him while what you don’t know blasted through the brassy pavillon

he also may or may not have convinced you to make out with him while the rest of the record played

even though you drive a brand new, cherry red benz (convertible, he might add), you still love it when he drives the two of you in his camaro

but you also let him drive your car whenever he wants. and he wants to most of the time.

in fact, he’s pretty sure he drives your car more than you do

he also loves to let you dress him up

and do his hair (please practice that cute hairstyle you saw on him. he’ll think about your hands in his hair for hours on end)

even if youre just going on a chill diner date, you still drag him into your (now shared) walk-in closet and pick out these satin shirts and pressed slacks and the shiniest shoes he’s ever seen

but of course, most of your dates are lavish and breathtakingly creative, anyway, so he’s already dressed accordingly

his new catch phrase is something along the lines of “what happened to eating somewhere normal. like pizza hut”

sometimes, his only requirement is “as long as there’s no chandelier”

you flatter him so often, he gets grumpy on days you forget to call him handsome (or pretty boy, which has really grown on him)

typically, he wouldnt go for all the fuss and feathers, but he likes to see you happy.

and boy, does prettying him up make you happy

seriously, you get the wildest look on your face. it’s fulfilling enough that billy feels safe to say he’s content being your ken doll forever

if you’d let him

masterlist

[vesvosmozhno]

Hongjoong is officially the most normal one in Ateez and here's why:

I think most of us would say Yunho is the most normal at this point however: he flirts with everyone and everything. Like I recently went through my albums and why is there so many photos of him in a member's space in the hot dom way. Like it's not just the infamous Will Yungi. There's also a Wooyoung one in Bouncy. I'm convinced I will find more in other albums. Also he has a foot fetish

I love u but pls stop showing us your feet

I think the next contender for normal is San. He's such a sweet gentleman! However this man is just so goddamn loud. Whenever he is doing anything he is doing it LOUDLY and it doesn't help that he has the pipes of a goddamn train horn. I could make an hour video of clips where he is being loud for literally no reason. It would need a headphone user warning.

Original GIF creator deleted their account :(

Next I'd say Seonghwa. He's so. Fucking chaotic? Like anytime he's being hot he immediately does some weird shit after. And it's not just some lightly weird shit he's doing it is WEIRD. Like the spider crawl in. Deja Vu Relay. The weird ass dance in that one episode of one of their shows (I can't remember it was Pink Hwa and he's fucking dancing like a weirdo). Also he's obsessed with Legos star wars and animal crossing. You know, like normal people are.

GIF stolen from some ateez news report article and honestly I'm really intrigued why they used this one but I can't find the actual article

Jongho is a pillar of strength and emotional maturity!!! This man is such a fucking menace. He's always bullying someone and it's in the most horrific uncalled for way like one of the members is just existing and then he says shit that could make a grown man cry. I'm honestly convinced he was a bully in school. Also he rips apples in half?? He rips apples. In half. HE HAS PUNCHED A WATERMELON TO DEATH. Also LOUD part two

Sourced from here

Mingi was disqualified the second he stepped on stage. What the fuck Song Mingi. I support strippers and all but I think he's in the wrong career. Please stop moaning and whimpering on stage, Mr. Song.

Sourced from Tenor (hence ass quality but I can't not include it)

Wooyoung..... Yeah. I don't even need to say anything.

Sourced from here

Yeosang my sweet child. I'm a firm believer that he is the most chaotic and unhinged Ateez member.

I.E: Hongjoong is the most normal member of Ateez. He's like gay and sassy and short. That's all. So much less chaotic than anyone else. I also haven't really found a moment where he's initiating the totally unhinged chaos, he usually joins in tiny and then gives up when it gets too weird.

[kararisa]

darling, starling

— 5. unwritten rules — ✦ (wc: 0.4k)

You will never understand how people wake up before 10 a.m. and enjoy it. Scaramouche was your complete opposite in that regard, preferring to start his days egregiously early. But if you could help it, you'd stay in bed and sleep until the early afternoon hours, cuddled up in the warmth of your blankets.

But here you are, not comfortable in bed but instead seated on your sofa and half-heartedly watching some soap opera on the TV while you wait for the man of the hour to discuss a deal that could change both of your careers, for better or for worse.

The huge glass windows let in sunlight from the waking world, bathing the room in natural light. Scaramouche gives you a nod of acknowledgment as he sits down, a cup of way-too-bitter tea in hand. He takes off his reading glasses and leans back to look at you properly.

“You look like shit,” he greets.

You rub your eyes before glaring at him, “I wanted to catch you before you ran off to the nearby cafe to write your book. We need to actually talk about what we’re getting into in this deal.”

You take a breath before starting, “It’s not going to be easy dating me. Fake or not.”

Scaramouche’s words are dripping in sarcasm. “I know your food preferences if that’s what you're worried about.”

“That...” you groan. “That isn’t even what I mean and you know it; I’m being serious. You know how relentless the media can be when it comes to me. Rumors of us dating have been around since we were first spotted going out and about with our friends. And they’ve only gotten worse since you moved in with me.”

“I can take whatever the tabloids throw at me,” he shrugs. “Besides, my aunt works for The Akasha, remember? She has a lot of pull, not just in Sumeru.”

Is he even taking this seriously? His nonchalant air makes you think he doesn’t understand the gravity of the situation you’re getting yourselves into. He consistently interacts with his fans but maintains a respectful distance from them — you know he's capable of handling a life of fame.

But ever since you stepped onto the stage, the tabloids have followed you like a phantom — lurking in every corner and following your every move. Their eyes aren’t only set on you, though, but on every person associated with you. Scaramouche’s privacy has been invaded multiple times throughout your friendship with him, and he’s expressed his distaste for a life that's fully in the public eye in the past.

Why is he so determined to see this through?

“I doubt one editor-in-chief will be enough to influence the press,” you say.

“But she does control what stories get published,” he points out. “And if she approves articles about us being spotted together in public, it’ll be enough to get people talking.”

He has a point. Goddamn it, maybe he actually thought this through and this wasn’t just some half-assed plan he came up with at 2 a.m.

The two of you would have to set some rules, but that could come at a later date.

“Do we have a deal?” Scaramouche sticks out his hand.

“Yeah.” you take his hand and shake it. “We got a deal.”

✧— previous — masterlist — next —✧

summary:

rule number one: don't fall in love.

rule number two: no one can know about the deal.

rule number three: keep physical affection limited to the public eye. no kissing under any circumstances.

rule number four: break up after you release your album.

easy enough to remember. oh, and remember to not break the rules okay?

author's notes:

sorry for being inactive lmao i got depressed for a hot minute

nah cause why is scarayn banter so much fun to write

taglist — currently OPEN:

@aestherin @unsterblich-prinz @yourstrulykore @krnzysh @syriiina @yumiaur @featuredtofu @kodzusmiles @meigalaxy @fangygf @motherscrustytoenailclippings @samyayaya @hiimera @beriiov @e0nssadrift @dazaisboner @nillajhayne @chluuvr @nillajhayne @deffenferofjustice @romyoia @xiaomainlmao @hotgirlshit5 @potabletable @letthewindlead @esuz @toriiee @kclremin @angelkazusstuff @phoenix-eclipses @sakiimeo @mayuumine @ako-ang-mahal-ko @only-cherry-blossom @keiiqq @what-just-happened-huh @n3r0-1417 @haunts-gh0st @layla240 @mamafly @duckyyyx @certified-shrimp @kgogoma @xtobefreex @aeongiies @mechanicalbeat1 @meidnightrain @nordicbananas @feiherp @erzarq

[hallasimss]

Niamh Ó Dálaigh (they/them, 26), Head of the Internal Audit Department for @kashisun's Simblr Office. their resting bitch face is to scare your ass so you don't commit fraud under their watch tyvm

— half Afro-Indo-Guyanese (mother) half Irish (father) — grew up just outside of Dublin. the accent is thick — Hozier's album dropped on Friday and they've already booked an appointment with their tattoo artist to get the Gaeilge verse from De Selby (Part 1) printed on their shoulderblade — is fluent and will curse you out in Gaeilge, English, Guyanese Creole and Aili Gaili if you provoke them. do not provoke them — the next time someone mispronounces their first name as 'nee-AHM' instead of 'NEEV' despite having been corrected beforehand they're going to commit acts of unspeakable violence. lack of Anglicization is not an excuse break free from the colonizer mindset — calling them 'Ni/Nee' for short is a criminal offense and also grounds for acts of unspeakable violence — studied business and accounting in university. almost chose law but decided against it at the last minute — plays cláirseach and steel pan in their free time. watches @rainymoodlet's Kiss Me in Komorebi religiously on the weekends. have placed bets on the contestants. they won't say which ones — once sang the entirety of Humors of Whiskey + The Rattling Bog at double speed while drunk. that was also part of a bet — best friends with @browntrait's Jesminder Bheeda. has a chapter in her upcoming cookbook dedicated to them. cameos on the blog sometimes. helped name the baby but if you ask for details before they're actually born it's an automatic audit for the nerve alone — 6'4", mainly leg, still wears heels most days. doors in the building were previously adjusted for @crsentfairy's Aesir Dhillon so it's a walk in the park where height's concerned — yes they have a boyfriend, apologies to those asking. yes there is a rumor that their ex also works at the company. yes said ex does not come within a 5 floor radius otherwise HR will be hearing the complaints — why would you drink coffee when cocoa tea Irish breakfast tea and strong masala chai exist. not necessarily in that order per say but. that being said if there is none available they're taking the coffee black no sweetener. the only time you use sweetener is in caife Gaelach anywhere else you're a f*cking coward — broke a man's nose outside a pub after he catcalled them. he didn't sue bc they threatened to break his nose again after surgery if he tried. the surgery cost a pretty penny btw — you hear any noise from their office that's just them playing the Ram-Leela soundtrack on loop since it came back to Spotify after how many godforsaken years. you hear any noise in between that then those are the ads. they don't pay for Premium that's a corporate scam — leaves work on time if there are no ongoing audits. they do not subscribe to the culture of the Grind — they're the one who passed on the budget discrepancies under @vhsmage's Hamda Farrah to the higher-ups. final report came with a note to add her perfume as a separate category by itself. as far as company gossip goes there hasn't been a problem in that regard since — goes down to Guyana at least once a year to visit with extended family. usually times it around Carnival, Holi or Diwali. will take PTO for all three. do not attempt to contact them once it is turned in, that will gain you an automatic audit on their return

[differenteagletragedy]

mc boys being w a famous mc tho 😳 like being their normal ass husband getting taken to red carpet event. baxter even pales to their star power bc mc became a "household name". can we get some hcs? if you wanna ofc!

This was fun, thank you!!!

-- Baxter is LIVING for the opportunity to do red carpets with you. He needs to go shopping for more suits immediately, and if you don't have a stylist, just saying, he's right there.

Baxter: *texts you a photo of formalwear before a big event* How would you feel about something like this?

You: Don't you have a job?

-- Cove is showing up on that red carpet with half the buttons on his shirt undone. That's his style. Why? I don't know. Let him live.

-- Derek gets one nice suit to wear to events. That's his fancy suit, he only needs one, he doesn't want to be TOO fancy when you're the star of the show.

-- If you're at some awards show and you win, then Cove is too shy to give you a kiss but if you thank him in your speech then he will cry and the video will go viral because it's that sweet.

-- Derek is your hype man. The first time he goes to an event, he might stand up and scream like he's at a sports game whenever you perform/go on stage. That's just instinct.

-- Baxter will kiss you anywhere. If you win an award, he'll quickly make sure your outfit is in place properly before sending you off.

-- If you're a singer, Cove has all your albums. If you're an actress, he has everything you've ever been in. He is your biggest fan.

-- Derek is also your biggest fan. He wears your merch to the gym and if someone asks him about it, well, why don't they pull up a chair so he can brag for hours.

-- Baxter -- surprise! -- also your biggest fan. He may or may not have some alt accounts online so he can destroy anyone who says anything negative about you. If you're in the film industry, he's going to be editing your personal details on your imdb page.

-- He might be a little jerk about it but he'll change it back if you get genuinely upset.

-- You'll have to travel from time to time, either for music tours or press tours. Cove wants to come with you so bad and he might rearrange his life so he can.

-- Derek is going to be checking in on you constantly, making sure you're taking care of yourself. He'll come visit, especially if you tell him you miss him too much.

-- Baxter loves planning weddings, but he would also make a good business manager. I don't think he would, I'd think he'd stick with weddings, but he does have a business background and so he's going to be in your business.

-- If you have to kiss someone in a music video or in a movie or something, Cove isn't gonna love it. He's not going to say anything and it's not like he thinks there's anything behind it at all, he just doesn't like it. He'll even try not to pout because he doesn't want you to feel bad. It's ok, he can just call Cliff and complain about it.

-- Derek doesn't care, you're just working! Do your best, it's ok! Go team!

-- Baxter will tease you about it, but depending on how soon after your reunion it happens he'll be a little sad and insecure on the inside. He will never ever show it though.

[solarwynd]

I disagree a little with the assessment that ARMYs would automatically become JK's fanbase if the group is no more. His retail album sales figures aren't all that ahead of Jimin. His entire album is in English, he had crazy promo, from July we got almost non stop stuff till December, he had huge names he collab'd with and yeah with all that he did the best among the members. But comparing effort with outcome, his results don't look that great to me. If army were as enamoured with his music as they were with BTS' old albums like BE or MOTS:7 or LY, I think he would've done way better. He's still got two songs on TTH if you think about it and his streams are good don't get me wrong but his songs are still on the largest playlist on Spotify you know? It tips the scales.

The reason a lot of pjms feel like JK is favoured is because, the fact of it is, that a lot of armys don't like Jimin in particular so when we compare the way they act for Jimin versus the way the act for JK, we can clearly see a difference. But if Tae or Yoongi, who are in my opinion the two other army favourites, had gotten the same push as JK, they would've gotten the same level of support.

Anyway, in pure numbers it won't make a difference whether his results are due to Hybe or due to army. My only point is that if Hybe keeps investing so much in JK, I'm sure he'll continue to do well but he's never gonna reach BTS' level. They continue to pump money to keep him on all the big playlists to maintain this illusion that he's got ARMYs full support but in my opinion, that's all it is. An illusion.

Also this ask is getting too long but I also just want to bring up Tae. The most followers on IG, most fancam views and prior to solo era he was considered by some, including many armys, as the secret weapon since he was considered the most popular. But that didn't get him anywhere with layover (compared to Jimin and JK) and that's because his standing as the most popular member was partly illusion. If you looked under the hood it was the paid followers and views (not by him) or vpn voting and sales or multiple accounts and all that only works up to a limit. I'm just saying JK's strength is also partly illusion, constructed by the label (rather than fans which it was for Tae)

TGK are definitely the middle ground for armys, I agree. But out of the 3 of them, jk was always gonna have the best chance of suceeding. Armys don’t care for golden but they really don’t like layover. They take to yoongi better than joon or hobi, but the majority of the fandom still doesn’t like to stream rap music. Jk having palatable pop music was always gonna work in his favor over the other two. That’s why bang and scooter picked him because he’s the most agreeable member across the board.

And yes jk’s success thus far is mostly an illusion. One that they had to forge because the needed to devalue jimin. But like you said, it really isn’t all that impressive when you consider the effort they put into him. You look at the 16 versions worth of albums billboard reported that they put out to boost his sales yet he was only able to sell around 46k more than jimin who had 5 (a mini album at that). Like it’s very obvious what that reads as. 🥴

That “secret weapon” tagline armys had for th was embarrassing and came back to bite them in the ass. But they’ve always put so much stock in the superficial regarding that man and little else. You’ll see his stans fight this one sided battle with pjms because they’re still deeply bothered that jm pulled off the debut they expected th to do. They’ll cling to his popularity for dear life since that’s their safeguard and you can’t help but laugh because their only solace is that he’s more liked than jimin is. But does that mean much when it’s purely due to looks and out of obligation to do so because he’s one half of a ship? Not really.

[jmdbjk]

The gut punch.

Hobi’s eyes in this Weverse live... them knowing that we don’t know all the things... how do they keep it all together? This inevitable situation they must grapple with and work through and come out the other side. Hobi visited with his family recently. We thought something might be up but then a little time passed and we continued to skip along merrily, unaware... and now here we are. 

I am so glad Jimin visited Hobi during his bday live... it’s always so bittersweet when we can look back at things and say “they knew it then and they had to act like everything was ok.”

Time has a weird way of simultaneously accelerating and grinding to a halt depending on what we are applying it to. As a year, 2023 is moving right along...it’s already almost March! Grass is growing! Sun is shining! Mosquitos are back! 

Seems like we were just watching Hobi at New Year’s Rockin’ Eve trying not to slip on that cold, rainy stage. Seems like we were just frantic to know where is Jimin!? And WHEN was Jimin’s album coming?? We knew it had to be soon... and then the release date dropped and now Jimin is all over the place. And we still have photo folios coming at us. And the Suga/Agust D tour coming... and now Hobi’s On the Street! and the ball is rolling faster and faster. Time is spinning, spinning faster... 

And then we think about Jin. The Astronaut was released 4 months ago. Jinnie has been gone just a little over 2 months, yet it seems like he’s been gone for months upon months. Time slows down so much when I think about how long its been since we’ve seen Jin in real time. 

I thought after these few months of Jin being gone, the next announcement wouldn’t hurt so bad but this really hurts. It was like a gut punch. 

Y’all... I’m not sure how I will handle it when we get the “Hello, this is BigHit Music” for Jimin’s enlistment announcement. I never in a million years would have guessed “who is that blonde cutie” would turn into needing to take a week off work to cope with him enlisting in the military. Please, make it make sense.

I keep thinking about Jimin trying to keep us and himself grounded by saying things like “we’re not celebrities (who enjoy red carpet events)” and “I am just a goofy friend in sweatpants who loves soju.” At his essence, yes, that’s who he is. Unfortunately, we don’t have the privilege of seeing any hints of his real life because the hatefulness that exists in the world has taken that away from us.

But Jimin reminds us from time to time that he is just a regular guy who enjoys simple pleasures.

What he does show us is Jimin of BTS. The idols’ idol. He is always wanting to show us his good side. He wants to always be “pretty” for us. He works hard at his job and he does it very well. Like...he’s the best there is in the industry.

We know he’s working himself into the ground with his solo work. When it is his time to enlist, he will leave knowing he’s put his heart and soul, blood, sweat and tears into it. I went back and re-read his Weverse article from June of last year. He said back then that he did not want to spend this next year being half-assed with what he was doing. He was going to do it “properly.” 

We’ve heard several of the members state how hard Jimin’s been working. We’ve heard it from the mouths of people who have worked with him as well. His solo work will be just as amazing as he is.

There is a gap in Jimin’s album promo map... to allow for Yoongi’s concert ticket sales and for Hobi’s On the Street release. We get confused regarding the timing of all of their activities. There are lots of moving parts we don’t know about. And solos and mantis screaming unrealistically about unfairness and mistreatment add to the confusion, regardless of how it’s all carefully planned out as best as possible and regardless how many times the members each implore us to trust them. More than ever, it is imperative to ignore the haters and the people trying to misdirect our attention.

We do not know the reasons for, or the how or the why each member decides when they will go ahead and enlist. That is a very personal and private thing for them. They make the decision according to what is best for themselves. We are not entitled to know their reasons for that decision. There are a lot of things they consider and they plan everything the best they can with every other member’s plans for enlistment and solo work because they respect each other. Also, the company can see the big picture as to how to give everything the best chance for the best outcome. Is it all perfect? No. Humans are involved. They simply asked us to trust them.

The exact timing of enlistment maybe hasn't been set in stone for each of them since last year but they are weighing and considering all the moving parts and they pretty much know, if not the day they will set it in motion, at least the very small window when they will. I think all of the releases and timings of it all have been planned as best as possible regarding all this and the solos and mantis can scream mistreatment and unfairness all they want but this is real fucking life. Wheels within wheels are constantly turning... yes. They asked us to trust them.

I think we should be grateful for everything they’ve done and the sacrifices they’ve made because truthfully, they owe none of that to us with the way parts of this fandom move. 

Do you believe they are strong individuals? Do you feel they are reliable? Have they ever let us down? They asked us for our trust and our blessing. 

Let’s give it to them unconditionally.

We’ve seen hints of Joonie working...will it be a parting gift too?

And these Weverse conversations they have amongst each other will eventually turn into their group conversations and we will collectively lose our minds when they happen. Time rolls on without regard to our feelings. 

[onewmin]

the perfume on the shelf. pt. 6 | bangchan

Pairings: Bang Chan x Fem!reader, Kim Yugyeom x Fem!reader

Summary: Falling in love with your best friend was never a part of the plan. So you end it up. But does he want to put a stop to it, too?

Warnings: AU, Smut (minors dni), it’s not specified but the seggs is protected, a lot of kissing, oral (f. receiving), profanity, angst, a brief mention of self-harm, the reader and everybody else is mentally unstable (who isn’t right), mentions of alcohol and drinking, mentions of smoking, Lee Know flirts with a girl, another shitty cliffhanger in the end, typos

Author’s note: originally, this part was planned to be longer and cover the period after the ending, but I felt like it would’ve been too much. It’s not as long as I wanted it to be and maybe not that heartbreaking, but the pain still awaits you later hehe hope you enjoy the chapter!! Let me know what you think!!

Disclaimer: the names and appearances of real people are used for inspiration and writing purposes only. I do not claim anything, everything belongs to its owners.

Part 5 | Part 7

Despite Chan’s constant doubts and destructive thoughts about you still being in love with Yugyeom, that was far from the truth.

Yugyeom was a lingering memory, a bright sun ray that shone to you many years ago. Now he was just there, in the past, while Chan himself had occupied the pedestal inside your heart.

However, you really wanted him to fall down from it this time.

It’d been three weeks since he pushed you off the cliff of love and hope, leaving you to an inevitable, gruesome fall. You fell down from the highest peak into the lowest pit, and there was nothing. Just darkness and loneliness. Although the latter was not for long.

A couple of days after Chris broke up with you, Minho showed up at your door, bottles of beer in his backpack. You got drunk while watching another stupid reality show and ended up crying on the floor, the two of you sobbing in unison.

“He said to me”, Lee Know hiccuped, wiping the tears from his cheeks, “he said, ‘You’re an asshole, Minho’”, his imitation of Chan’s voice was so on spot, you let out a half-laugh through your tears.

“I’m an asshole? For putting up with his terrible dancing and constant nagging that his feet hurt?” Minho was hitting his chest with the fist, the two of you now sitting on the couch. “For sticking with him when his first album flopped? For investing my time, my life in his fucking career?”

You were nodding frantically, chewing the chips, the cheese taste mixing up with salty aftermath of the tears, streaming down your face.

“Never have I ever been an ass to him! Ever!” The tone of his voice rose, cracking when he started sobbing again. “And now he basically fires me! Me! His best friend!”

“No fucking reason”, Minho was lying on the floor again, with you sitting next to him. “Just this sudden bullshit. Why would he do this to me? To you? To us?”

You shrugged your shoulders, taking another sip of beer from another bottle. Was it your third? Fourth one?

“I can’t understand what’s inside his head”, he sighed. “Is it the concussion speaking for him or was he like that the entire time?”

You took a deep breath and exhaled in response. Weeks spent crying and drinking with Minho at both yours and his places, talking shit about Chan and how unfairly he treated the both of you. And neither you, nor Minho had come to any sort of common conclusion. He stood his ground, stomping his feet drunkenly, his words slurring, saying Chris might’ve hit his head so bad that all of the common sense flew out of the window.

You noticed a slightly hilarious pattern: Minho was ready to come up with any bizarre theory in order to excuse Chan’s behaviour. He pushed the both of you away because of the concussion, Lee Know was confident that was the truth. You, however, couldn’t agree with him.

The more you drank after work, the more you threw up afterwards, sitting on the dirty tile floor of whatever bar you were in, the less you could excuse Chris. Sure, he suffered from the aftermath of the accident, this you could understand. But his sudden change of demeanor? Beyond your comprehension. No therapist in the world could’ve explained this to you. Yours included.

“Don’t you think this is a sign you’ve been waiting for? The sign to leave this guy and move on with you life?”

Ah, crap. Could this woman not memorize everything you say? “I don’t think so”.

“Why’s that?”

“Because, I think, he’s just hurt. And he’s trying to push everyone away so that… So that we don’t see him… like this”.

Oh wait, was it your savior complex hitting up again? How mysteriously hurt poor Chan must have been! Pushed everyone away, humiliated his best friends in their own eyes, and told you he lost interest the second his love stopped being unrequited! Poor Chan! How must he suffer!

Oh yeah, he must. Sitting at another bar, Minho’s drunken ranting as the background music, you wished with all your heart Chan was suffering. He put you through so much, making you love him, care for him, and then he made you hate him. To be honest, though, “hate” was a strong word to use; hating him was still impossible. You despised the man he turned out to be, even if he lied to you about ‘falling out of love’ for some reason.

“What fuckin’ reason there has to be to say that shit? What’s the fuckin’ fuck?”

The look on your therapist’s face gave away her genuine surprise at your sudden loss of composure. In over than two years of therapy, you had never even cried during sessions. You’d curse, get slightly angry, but never too emotional. You called this an ‘emotional constipation’, just to make your therapist crack a smile. A clown is always a clown, you’d say, taking pride in getting her to laugh. Although the fun would always wash away when she immediately started writing stuff down.

“Go on”.

Two simple words would bring you to the literal edge of glory: you jumped from your seat, aggressively walking from one corner of the room to another, curse words spilling from your mouth; also, of course, you blamed god for everything — if you could, you’d include your religious trauma in every conversation possible.

“If God was real”, you’d keep on, “would he ever allow Chan in my life? Would he ever let that happen?”

“Did God choose to be in a relationship with Chan, or was it you?”

How dare she? “How dare you?” You stood up, snatching your bag from the floor. “Am I the bad guy here?”

“No”, she said softly, not even moving a muscle during your tantrum, “you’re not, but you desperately want someone to be the bad guy. You cannot paint Chan as a villain because you love him”, you huffed at her words, “but you don’t love the God. So in this case, the latter has to be the bad guy. Correct me, if I’m wrong”.

She was not indeed wrong. But you were resisting therapy: if not, you’d have to face the truth — there were no bad guys. Everyone was just human, making human mistakes. The ones you’d been constantly making while choosing to stay in this relationship with Chan over and over again.

Like him fixing your dinner three months in a row after he came back from tour. Or him helping you take showers when your leg was broken. Or taking care of your cat when you went to see your parents.

He was doing basic shit! Basic shit every decent human being would do when their close friend needed that! Although it’s pretty hard not to praise men when they do the bare minimum, right? ‘Cause it’s so rare. Rare for you specifically, as every man in your life — apart from Yugyeom and Chan — was a self-centered piece of garbage.

And you could take Yugyeom for granted, as he wanted you to have it that way, because he saw the way your father treated your mother — “You’ve got to have an example of a healthy relationship. And I will give it to you”.

Why did he leave then? Why did you leave and led me to keep on falling for the mere shadows of you, Yugyeom?

You shook your head, trying to get rid of the thought. Lately you’d been remembering a lot of things about Yugyeom — probably because you met him all those weeks ago. The most disturbing thought? Oh, it wasn’t that good. It was horrible, so horrible that you had to physically distract yourself.

“Why did you order more drinks?” You looked at Minho, who leaned back in his seat, eyes wandering around the bar room. “Earth to Minho”, you waved your hand in front of his face, while he was staring through you. “I’ll cancel it”.

“No!” Your eyebrows raised in question, as he jumped up from his seat. “This bottle will be the last one, I swear”. Minho grabbed your hands in his, silently begging to let him have the last drink. However, you were not going to indulge in; you found yourself getting accustomed to drinking, to drowning your sorrows in the alcohol. You were tired of it.

You were never the type to get addicted to some bad habits: smoking never stuck to you; you did smoke for a couple of months after your breakup with Yugyeom and you did it occasionally during your latest relationship, but it was never something you couldn’t live without. Drinking, on the other hand, could become addictive if you just didn’t quit it.

How easy it was, to sit around the table with your friend, sipping on alcohol, empty bottles creating a circle on the surface. Eventually you’d run out of space, and that was the reason to pay and leave. Same thing happened to you several years ago, when Yugyeom and you put an end to your relationship; Chan had to drag you from bars and hide alcohol from you so that you wouldn’t have drown in pain. Yeah, you couldn’t get an addiction, as you thought. But you were becoming quite a regular at a broken hearted people pub.

Amidst your verbal fight with Minho, whose retorts consisted of non-comprehensive drunken blabbering, his hands gripping the beer bottle while you were trying to tear it away, you heard a familiar voice behind you. As happy as you were to hear her, the sound of her high-pitched, usually matter-of-fact voice somehow brought chills down your spine.

“That’s enough”, Eunjoo moved you to the side, the grip of her hand on your shoulder making you squeeze your eyes shot. Has she been working out? “Give me that”, she took the bottle from Minho’s hands with almost no effort, as he seemed to oblige to her mere presence. His eyes followed Eunjoo, when she put the money on the table, her fingers tucking a strand of black hair behind her ear. You might have been tipsy, however, the way Minho stared at your best friend couldn’t escape from your attention.

“What’re you doin’ here?” You frowned at her, while Eunjoo observed Minho. Oh right, it was the first time you old best friend and your new bestie met; before that you had no idea whatsoever, but now you thought that they kind of had the same vibe to their personalities.

“Came to collect you”, she replied. What? First she uses a contraction, and now she starts a sentence without the subject in it? Is it really Eunjoo?

“To be honest”, she continued, “I’m really tired of your regular hangovers. Especially I’m tired of your absolutely fucked out look at our job. Where you need to work, and not nap every two hours”. What the literal fuck? Did Eunjoo just curse? Wha-a-at? “I wonder, why you’re still not fired. Oh wait”, she pointed a finger in your direction, “it’s because I’ve been covering for you”.

You sighed. Knowing that it wasn’t the best thing you’d done, you felt the wave of embarrassment rush through your body. Eunjoo had to cover your hangover in front of the boss, and you were forever grateful. If only you had actually thanked her for that.

“Anyways, I’m here to take you home”, this time, her touch on your shoulder was gentle. “And this… friend of yours, too”.

“I’m Minho”. He suddenly appeared in front of Eunjoo, almost pushing you away. You grimaced at his awkward attempt to get her attention.

Eunjoo nodded in response to his words; she didn’t look as if he’d interested her in any way. Hopefully, he won’t, you thought, fastening the seatbelt on the passenger seat of her car, Minho might be a good friend, but his dating history is pretty ugly.

Oh yeah? And Chan’s dating history is all about rainbows and flowers? Isn’t he the one to toss girls away when they reciprocate the love?

You let out a deep sigh, Minho’s drunken flirting with Eunjoo serving as a background for your thoughts. With all the love you had for Chris, either as his friend or failed lover, it was impossible to wrap your head around the bullshit he told you. You wished you could talk it out, spill your secrets and unsaid words, but he didn’t want to. He went radio silence for weeks without any warning, so he wasn’t interested anymore, right?

It isn’t like you could text him, yeah? It isn’t like a dialogue requires two people for it to happen, is it?

After dropping off Minho at his place — and his unsuccessful attempts to get Eunjoo number — she drove you to your apartment. The ride was accompanied by a midnight radio program with the very familiar host to the both of you.

“How’s Youngjae doing?”

“Fine. As far as you can hear, he enjoys his job very much”. Ouch. Your attempt to break the silence was a failure.

“Eunjoo-“

“Shut up”, she hit the brakes at the red light, her sharp knife voice cutting through you. “I get it, okay? You’re going through a tough time”. Youngjae’s contagious laugh filled the car, but this time, none of you smiled. “But you’ve got to move on too. If you keep on drinking, you’ll lose your job. And what are you going to do, huh? Is this Minho going to give you money? Or, d’you think Chan will do it?”

You shook your head, eyes squeezed shut, head low. Felt as if your mother had been scolding you. Only Eunjoo knew you better than your mom did, and Eunjoo was actually sincere and worried about you. She was your best and only real friend, after all.

“You’re smart”, she took a turn to your apartment complex, “smarter than all of those guys. Smarter than Chan”. The car stopped at the parking lot, both of you sat in silence for a moment.

“Don’t waste your life on chasing someone who doesn’t want you”, she covered your hands with hers. “Don’t drink your life away because he decided you weren’t good for him. You might be not enough for this asshole, but you’re certainly enough for everyone else, for me, for yourself. He’s not worth your suffering”.

Your eyes welled up at the words. Pulling her in for a hug, you had to blink rapidly to avoid another crying session.

“Thank you, Eunjoo. Thank you for everything you do for me”.

She hugged you tighter. “You’re always welcome. I know how hard it is for you to say this, and I’m thankful, too”.

“You may take all of the time in the world to overcome this pain”, the two of you were face-to-face again, “you shouldn’t bottle your emotions up. Just… Just talk to me instead of drinking, okay?”

You nodded, a smile creeping up on your lips. Eunjoo’s cousin laughed again, his radio program turned into another comedy show, and the two of you giggled at him. Never in your many failed friendships and toxic friends would you think a girl with a rigorous attitude with whom you had to share the same space at work, could be your closest friend.

Your cat greeted you with serious complaints and loud purrs, obviously demanding food and attention. Several minutes passed before you took your clothes off and stepped into the shower.

Chan used to say that showering together would help saving water, and you always chuckled at his proposals. It’s not like you ever rejected his shenanigans; you didn’t indulge in shower sex, but being naked with him under the water was another intimate moment to cherish.

You hated how everything was about him. Every surface of your flat was interwoven with the memory of him, his fingers squeezing your hips, lips brushing over yours, head in the crook of your neck. He was with you in the shower; he was cooking in your kitchen; he was sprawled on your couch, watching another episode of that dating reality show; he was snoring in your bed, his legs atop of yours. There wasn’t a single place in this apartment that he hadn’t graced with his touch. And you despised yourself for still craving his presence, even after all the pain he caused you.

Brushing your teeth, your brain visualized Chan behind you, a toothbrush in his hand, the other wrapped around your waist. Every little action of his was engraved in your head, not letting your breathe even for a second. How were you supposed to move on when the only thing you see was Chan?

“Do you want to move on?” Your therapist asked you.

“I don’t know”.

“Let’s put it into a different perspective. During your last conversation, he stated he’s been in love with you. Correct?”

“Yes”.

“He also said he liked the process of ‘chasing’ his potential partners. Correct?”

“Yes”.

“And he added that whenever someone reciprocated, he’d lose interest. That includes you. Correct?”

“Uh, yes”.

“After all of the above-mentioned, do you still believe he’s in love with you?”

“Yeah”, you breathed out, the voice of yours being unsteady. “I guess”.

“Why?”

“Because… Because”, you almost choked on your words, “he couldn’t fall out of love with me just suddenly. He couldn’t”.

Coming back to that conversation over and over again, you sat on the floor in your living room, tears falling down your cheeks. Was he ever truly in love with you, or was it another projection of yours? And if he was, how could he be so cruel?

A phone call distracted you from yet another sobbing section of your ‘pining over Chris’ daily program. Of course, only Han Jisung would call you at 1 A.M.

“Sorry for the late night call”, he said after countless apologies, “I just thought I should tell one of you”.

“Tell us what?”

“He’s insufferable”, Han whined, “I dunno what to do to bring him back to his normal self. He’s sulking, keeps being silent and just-“ You heard him sigh. “He’s constantly in his bed. Either sleeping or napping. Or he just lies there, watching the ceiling”.

You kept quiet for a swift moment only. “What d’you want me to do? Call his therapist or something”.

Jisung let out a nervous laughter. “Yeah, like his parents haven’t tried that already. He doesn’t speak to therapists”. Han’s heavy breathing signaled at him being on the verge of crying. Shit, Chan had fucked everyone over.

“He falls asleep quite often”, Jisung continued. “And he sleeptalks, y’know that. And when he does that, he only says your name”.

No. Ah-uh. No. Just no. Why would Han say that?

“So please, if you can, just come and see him. You want him to get better too. I know that”.

Your phone was on the floor next to you, as you scratched you nose to avoid crying. But your lip began to tremble, tears collecting in the eyelashes and everything turned into a blur — there were just your tears, and your wails muffled as you hugged your knees tightly. You used to get noise complaints for your loud moans of pleasure; however, now you’d get some more complaints for your almost-howls and incredibly hurtful sobs. Your chest was aching from the heavy breathing mixed with cries, and your jaw was in pain from open-mouthed inhaling and exhaling. That was a breakdown, such an extreme and terrible one that you couldn’t even see anything because of the amount of tears collected on your eyelashes.

If he was so hurt, why, why would he bring you so much pain? If he was so pathetic afterwards, why break up with you in the first place? Why? Why? Why?

Because he’s an asshole, your inner voice interfered, and because he doesn’t know how to express basic human emotions. You did your best for him, tried your hardest to overcome the most difficult thing — inability to express your emotions. You were there, on your knees in front of him in that hospital room, begging him to love you. Begging him to give the two of you a chance. But he rejected you back then. And now, what? He was mournful? Pining over you?

Ah-uh. He lost the right to it the second he shitted in your ears with that ‘the thrill expired’ bullcrap. He should’ve had a normal fucking conversation with you, talking about his feeling, working it out. But no, this asshole decided to leave you with a plate of shit and run away from human communication just to, what seemed like, die in complete loneliness. The loneliness he created himself. It was nobody’s fault but his.

“I hope he feels what I felt”, you mumbled while washing your face in the bathroom. It was still puffy, under eyes and lips red from all the crying you did; you cursed Han and his damn phone call. Why was he such a good friend? Oh yeah, probably because Chan hadn’t been a fucking butthead to him. Smart choice; otherwise, Mr. Bang would have no more friends left in his life.

You wouldn’t go and see him, right? “Right, of course I wouldn’t”, you stated out loud when raiding your closet in search of that lingerie set Chris loved. Just in case, you kept on telling yourself, I’m looking for it just in case.

You sat on the bed, wearing the said bra and panties, facing the mirror. Disheveled hair, a puffy face, your neck and chest red from all the nervous scratching you did in the last few minutes. It wasn’t like you were going to actually see him, right? And, what’s more important, you weren’t going to let him touch you again, were you?

“I’m not”, you were, as always when alone, talking to yourself; now, as you ran from the bedroom to the living room, dressing up, brushing your hair, you abruptly stopped mid your shenanigans.

Right in front of you, in your bedroom, on that bookshelf with all the books you’d bought but never read, was that damned perfume. Gently kept in between the books, so that your cat wouldn’t throw it on the floor, that perfume bottle was the most vivid proof of your and Chan’s relationship. The only thing, besides photos and gifts, that could transcend you to every moment spent with him. You hated this fucking perfume.

Spraying some on your skin, just on the back of your neck and your wrists, you put it in the bag. You petted your cat, promising you’d come back just in a couple hours, and then the lights in your apartment went off, keys turning in the door.

What the hell were you doing? One call from Jisung, swearing Chris was suffering without you, and? You were wearing that lacy lingerie under your clothes, clean-fucking-shaved, smelling like his favourite perfume, riding in the cab? That’s how easy it was?

You shook your head, disagreeing with your own thoughts. You were desperate to feel him again, to wrap your hands around him, to kiss his plushy lips, to run your hands through his hair. You needed that more than air, but you also couldn’t keep this up just in the name of love.

He was your temple, taking up all of the space in your life. Everything was about Chan, every day of yours accompanied by the presence of him. In those several months of being with him, you found yourself behind the closed doors; you locked them with your own hands. Cancelling plans just in case Chan called? Done. Not communicating with some of your old friends just because they didn’t like Chris? Do-o-ne. You practically had no hobbies by now, because your only hobby had been Chris, and how to keep him interested, and how to make him laugh, and how to make him fall in love with you.

How unhealthy was that?

So now you were going to end it. For good. You were ready to take the last leap and jump, just to get it over with. ‘Cause no matter how much you loved him, you were exhausted. And no amount of love could outweigh the tiredness this relationship had brought you.

And you were there. Staring at Chan, who was wearing his gray pajama pants and nothing more, dumbfounded look on his face. You couldn’t but notice a slight bulge, and you swallowed, images of him floating around your mind.

He let you in, still not a word said. You put the bag on the drawer, quickly putting the perfume bottle on it. You’d leave it here; if he was so desperate to see you, next time he could just spray some perfume around to pretended you were there. You were going to leave this perfume to him, because to you, it was too hurtful to even look at.

You turned around to face him. In the dim light of his apartment, Chan looked pathetically beautiful, as if he’d been a God, sent to Earth just to become your fatal personal tragedy.

One step further. You were right in front of him, hands carefully cupping his cheeks. He watched you with caution, as if you’d been a hallucination, destined to turn into air the moment he dared to touch you.

Today would be the last time he ever lands his hands on your body. The last time you ever let him this close.

No words exchanged between the two of you, when he leaned in, his lips lingering over yours, just slightly touching. Your eyes darted from his lips to his eyes, and there it was. With that simple look, he squeezed your waist and pounced on your lips. You dived in, letting his tongue meet yours in a passionate, i-missed-you-so-much dance. You kissed and kissed, and the only thing you could taste on his lips was betrayal. Because no matter what he was doing now, the memory of him torturing you with his words would forever be engraved in your mind.

When you finally broke the kiss, he was looking at you with a wide smile on his face. Oh, darling Chris, you thought, insinuating yet another heavy kiss, this is not a make up type of situation. You’re getting dumped tonight.

Your back was against the wall, his hands under your shirt, dancing on your bare skin, but not touching where you needed him. Between lips nibbling, him trailing kisses down your chin, teeth grazing down your neck, you could feel the pool of arousal in your panties. Chris could feel it too.

Now your back was against the mattress, his silky sheets welcoming you back in their embrace. Chan was hovering over you, looking you deep in the eyes, touches lingering all over your body, as if you were made out of porcelain, as if he was scared to break you. Too late for that, the inner voice stated, while you roamed your hands all over his body, you already broke me, Chris.

Withholding this intense eye contact while taking off your jeans, Chan let out a gluttural sound, almost a growl, when he saw black lace panties — the set he bought you himself. He trailed kisses from your knees up to inner thighs, humming into your skin. He sharply sucked the same skin into his mouth, marking you as always. Some of the bruises looked like stars when fading away, and you used to think your thigh scars, left there by your teenage self, were vanishing under the love bites Chris was leaving.

But the stars did fade away, and the scars stayed. Under the stars, you were still bleeding — but this time it seemed to be unstoppable; you felt as if you could die from all of that internal bleeding.

A tender kiss Chris left on your yet closed core got you arching your back, your hand immediately landing on his head, fingers in his soft curls. You knew he was smiling when taking off your panties, and you felt it when he left soft kitten licks on your now dripping pussy.

He responded to your moans with a hum, sending vibrations all over your body. You tugged on his hair.

“Are you going to actually fuck me tonight?”

These were the first words uttered tonight. Chris grinned and took his pants off in one swift movement. His dick, hard and leaking with pre-cum, seemed to hypnotize you. You briefly noticed saliva running down his chin from all the excessive sloppy kisses he’d been giving your folds and a smug smile on his face — all just ‘cause he got to taste you again.

“I’m going to”, his knee was between your thighs now, “fuck you senseless”. He tugged on your earlobe with teeth, making you moan into his shoulder.

Slipping a finger inside your slit, Chris caught your whimper by his mouth, covering your lips with his. His thumb pressed to your clit, drawing circles around it, and you almost lost the thin thread connecting you to the harsh reality. It was your last time with Chris. Last time kissing him. Last time being his girl.

“Oh, fuck”, Chan groaned, when you reached for his cock. The mere touch of yours made him twitch and stop all of his movement to keep his composure. “You’re killin’ me, baby”, he rasped, head buried in the crook of your neck.

No matter what he said, you still battled with your reasonable self: she told you not to lose focus, to get pleasure but to never forget — you were leaving him for good. Your emotional side, however… She was already on the cloud nine, willing to obey to any command Chan requires from you. But even her, this bubbly and sweet self of yours — even she knew this pleasure would turn into pain later. Although she didn’t mind loving Chris, even she couldn’t be in love with him any longer. Even your tender persona had found out how much pain Chan inflicted on you.

Pushing in his girthy cock into you slowly, Chris stared right into your soul, observing the way your face expression changed. Your mouth fell open, eyes hazily watching him mirroring you, his grip on your hips tightened. You’d have crescent marks in the morning — the last signs of your love with him ever existing.

Finally, swallowed by warmth, Chris bottomed out, letting you adjust, as you gripped him, head thrown back. He peppered kisses all over the side of your neck, hands massaging your breasts slowly, pinching nipples to make you gasp.

As he sluggishly thrusted into you, Chan couldn’t take his eyes off you. You knew he was watching, as he always did, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to stare back at him. You wanted to cum, not to cry.

As he felt you getting comfortable enough, Chan set a pace, massaging your inner walls in a frantic tempo. You squeaked every time he hit that spot, burying himself deep inside of you. You grinded against him, begging for more friction, as your nails left marks all over his shoulders.

“This is what you want?” His thumb started drawing circles on your clit, your composure long lost under the thick layer of pleasure.

Except for your mewls and Chan’s groans, the sound of skin on skin clapping was filling in the room. Although the way your pussy squelched every time Chris pounded into you was the only sound you could hear.

“Shi-i-i-t”, he hissed, his cock throbbing inside of you, “I can’t g-get enough of y-you”, Chan stuttered, your walls fluttering around his cock made him lose his mind little by little.

“I love you”, he huffed, forehead pressed to yours, “I love you so fucking much”.

Savoring his words — words you hoped to hear every time you were this close, you couldn’t bring yourself to reciprocate. You wish you could give in and forget all of that like it was a bad dream. You wish you could. But you never would.

“Shut up”, your breath hitched as you pulled him in for another sloppy kiss.

You’d yield to temptation one more time, to feel his hot breath on your skin, to feel the shockwaves gripping your body as you saw the stars while he chanted your name, reaching his high. The sheer layer of sweat covering the both of you, Chris watched as your breath steadied and you got up on the wobbly legs.

“Wait for me in the shower”, he puffed, still laying on his back, eyes shut.

“I’m going home”.

You stepped out of the room, collecting your jeans from the floor when he appeared behind you. “What? Why?”

You sighed. “Do I really need to explain this to you? After everything you’ve done to push me away?”

“But I-I thought… You and I, we…”

“What? Fucked?” You put your jeans on and huffed at his words. “Doesn’t mean anything. Doesn’t mean I’m going to stay with you after you pushed me away”.

“I’m so sorry”, he whispered. Chan screwed up his face and sniffed, and deep inside you felt like shit for making him feel this way. “I’m an idiot, baby, I have no excuses. Just if-“

“No”, you retorted. “No. You’re only interested now ‘cause I’m out of reach again, aren’t I? ‘The thrill of chasing’, that’s how you call it?

“Baby…” His eyes were closed as he let out a deep sigh. Yeah, you fucked up big this time, Chris. There’s no way out.

“Is there anything, anything I can do for you to forgive me? Please?”

“Yes, there’s one thing. Disappear from my life forever”.

Taglist:

@heylookwhoitis @amaranth-writing @itstorimf @tenshimara

[artistnamedlg]

GARAGES SONGS ASSIGNED TO FANTASY HIGH CHARACTERS (AND SOME OTHER STUFF)

For context, the garages were a band who wrote songs based off a game called blaseball, mainly rock but not confined directly too it. I am assigning some of their songs to fantasy high characters for the very small subset of people who are interested a.k.a mainly me. Most of these are based off season 1 but there is influence from the others. 👍

FIG

-Pyschoacoustics: Very loud but also kinda team based! (The bigger the garage/ the better the sound/ we’re just so glad you came around)

- Vanessa tables, the cheesiest love song ever. I can totally imagine fig singing this.

- ALBUMS: either Underground (its heavy metal) or Short circuit (psychoacoustics esque, it’s so loud!!!)

- CHARACTERS THEY WOULD LOVE? Probably Betsy Trombone or Allison Abbot. Or Jaylen HotdogFingers. Big Garages Fan probably.

ADAINE

- so mediocre, it’s about not being good enough and being told your not good enough. Yeouch.

-Sidelined, same album same reason but this one ends happier cause people do believe in them :)

- the entire Kansas City breath mints team failed the bar exam,

- won’t strike out, it’s about a frog kicking ass. For everyone who doesn’t know blaseball google chorby short right now.

- ALBUMS: either unstable (the first two songs are from it) or, while not a album, The Mike Townsend Trilogy because she would one hundred percent understand the looked down on for not being good enough vibe.

- CHARACTERS THEYD LOVE? Mike Townsend, Chorby Short, maybe Sebastion Telephone cause underperforming sibling vibes. I can see her being a big Hawaii Fridays fan or more accurately Yellowstone Magics

KRISTEN

- And I mean all gods, the first line is “I need to email god because I have some issues”. Kristen would say that, 100%.

- solar eclipse, this one’s a little bit of everyone but it feels especially Kristen because of the direct callouts to god in it. She’d very much understand this one I think.

- ALBUMS weirdly enough, no clue. She would probably like the garages kill gods cause of the title and maybe pathetic/spineless cause repressed rage.

CHARACTERS THEYD LOVE? Most of the like goofy ones I think. She’d see pitching machine (a player who is an actual honest to god pitching machine) and start cheering. She would actually maybe enjoy the monitor who is a god but is also a pushover and eventually anticapitalist. Shed like Randall Marijuana if only cause he’s called “Randy weed” She’d also be a big Fridays person but I can see her being a Hellmouth Fan.

RIZ

- operation plasma (swing and a miss) it’s a song by the spies about how they want a spy to bring them stuff, riz core.

- beautiful day, I don’t know why I can very much see riz in this, half of it cause shit canonically hits the fan even harder after beautiful day.

- the unremarkable ballad of Derrick Krueger, I can’t explain this one but I think it does have slight riz vibes of like overlooked underdog at the beginning of season 1

- Albums, be my valentine cause some of the songs are very sweet and a decent amount are not even romantic in like partner partner way or percolate or lofi hip-hop brews to kill siesta/kill gods to.

- Players he’d love? Parker McMillan, he’d love the insane complexity of trying to piece them together and like interrogating their socials. He’d be a big Houston Spies fan as well, no surprise, but he’d also be a data witch or something similar on the side, just digging round in the code.

EDIT: he would also love one of my fav players, Evelton mcblase 2, a trans mad scientist who is evil and also occasionally a eel.

GORGUG

- heart full of love mouth full of blood, it’s a little romantic but also about killing to protect your friends

- Mike Townsend is back, I can see him vibing to this, especially with the goofy “I learned how to solo!!!” Part

- hurt people, it’s about desperately not wanting to hurt those around you but being unable to.

- Albums I don’t know! Maybe encore cause some of those are very hard hitting and he’d like that I think but also maybe lofi as well cause chill out vibes. Potentially Immaterial Shores which is a bunch of like sea shanty’s.

-Characters they’d like? Jaylen hotdogfingers as well, he’d understand the tradgedy. Also Theodore Duende. Definitely Nagomi McDaniel because she’s a buff as hell mother , maybe the dad versions of Lenny Marijuana. Generally the strong ones who have hearts of gold. He’d be a Dallas steaks fan (their joke is that they’re all dads or dad adjacent, they do cookouts)

FABIEN

- Top ten Tillman Henderson moments that actually happened, dude I cannot describe it but he would love Tillman, shitheel player who does the silliest shenanigans.

- Rise, I can’t really explain it but the extreme confidence mixed with the knowledge that Jaylen actually deeply regrets her revival and fame feels very Fabian.

- Betsy trombone (+ r - s version) I can’t explain it but specifically this version has Fabian feels.

- Albums. Uhhh maybe just straight up discipline, it’s super long but he’d like it I feel. Something shorter would be Caught in the Reverb I don’t know why but I think he’d like it a bit.

-Favorite Characters? Tillman Henderson, he’d love how much of a shitheel he is. I can see him also liking Nagomi McDaniel and Jessica Telephone. I can also seeing him being part of the Jaylen resurrection efforts and just supporting her girlbossing murder spree. He’d actually care if they’re good at the game, similarly he’d be a crabs fan since they’re pretty consistently good, if not the crabs then the hades tigers cause they’re sick as hell. I can also see him really really enjoying York silk because it’s a 12 year old with a gunblade who’s unironically super strong.

BAD KIDS IN GENERAL

- Well suck forever

- A horrible Mistake we will make again and again

Gilear (special edition!!)

-on fatherhood, im adding this just cause it reminds me of him. If you didn’t know people died in blaseball! That was a key thing! While figs alive this does give that vibe with how much she gets into.

[herrlindemann]

Metal Hammer - July 2015, interview with Till and Peter

The name’s Lindemann. Till Lindemann. And together with his friend Peter Tägtgren, the Rammstein man has produced the most obscene side-project in metal. For songs about ladyboys and golden showers, step this way…

Hammer is sitting in the lobby of a five-star hotel in London, listening to Till Lindemann sing about golden showers. As the Rammstein singer booms ‘cunt’ down our headphones, we imagine what the businessmen around us would make of all this — ‘this’ being Skills in Pills, the debut album from Lindemann, Till’s new side-project with Swedish multi-instrumentalist and Hypocrisy mastermind, Peter Tägtgren. 

When we share this thought with Till later, he creases up. Seemingly seven feet tall, the 52-year-old German is one of the most physically imposing people in metal, yet it quickly becomes apparent that, for all the onstage insanity, in real life he’s soft-spoken, polite and, dare it be said, gentlemanly, proffering his arm on the way to his room where the interview will take place.

In contrast to Peter’s chatty and business-like demeanor, Till is more intense, sometimes shy, but his twisted humor reveals itself as we’re led around to the hotel’s side entrance and into the lift. « This feels a bit like a hooker situation, » he grins. Gentlemanly, indeed…

It follows that the duo’s album is just as multifaceted. Skills in Pills seems to reflect the different aspects of Till’s personality, boasting playful, smutty songs like Ladyboy and the aforementioned Golden Shower, with the bleakly beautiful Children Of The Sund and Home Sweet Home also in the mix. Peter’s years of experience producing for the likes of Dumm Borgir and Children Of Boom have given it a tight sound, with a metallic crunch and industrial heart beating beneath a hooky, Euro-synth Lustre.

In their fancy suite, Peter recounts how the Lindemann project began. It was September 2013, as Rammstein wrapped up their explosive Liebe Ist Für Alle Da tour.

« Till invited me to a festival in Sweden, just before Rammstein were going on a two-year break, » Peter recalls. « He said, ‘Let’s do something!’ I sent him the files for the first song and a couple of days later he sent it back with vocals! It went so smoothly that we had to try another. And another. And another… »

While Peter’s been busy with different musical projects over the years, Lindemann is Till’s first ever major musical departure from Rammstein. That makes this collaboration kind of a huge deal. So, the question must be asked: what has the dynamic been like between these two similarly eccentric, yet delightfully unique characters?

« There is no dynamic, » says a straight-faced Till. He glances at Peter and they start cackling. They share the same sense of humor, but there is obviously something special going on here…

The story goes that their friendship began years ago when Peter rescued Till from getting beaten up by a jealous boyfriend and his mates.

When we comment that we know who we’d rather have on our side in a bar fight, Till smiles shyly, as if he’s unaware of how terrifying he is.

« That fight was all about Flake, » Till admits. « He started shit, like he always did in those days because he’s a tiny guy and nobody ever harms him. He knew somebody would save his ass! »

So basically, this is a kinship born of fights, frolics and partying?

« Why does everybody think we party all the time?! » Till asks Peter, feigning exasperation.

« It’s not like we quit drinking… just not when we’re in the studio, » clarifies Peter, before gesturing to Till and adding, « Although he always has a few beers when he records. »

« It’s good for the voice, » says Till seriously.

« That’s what she said, » whips back Peter.

« The point was to have fun, » Peter adds. « We wanted to do a couple of songs, see what we could learn from each other. Then suddenly half the album was done and it wasn’t just a hobby any more. We had to try and keep it a secret! »

In 2015, that’s no small feat. So far the guys have managed to keep things mostly under wraps, revealing, prior to this interview at least, only the project name, a date and a single image of themselves dressed as a bride and groom — a truly odd couple. But Till tells us he initially wanted to use the internet to gauge fans’ opinions, rather than spread the word.

« I wanted to put the first song up online, to see how people would react, » he reveals. « It was really strange to sing in English because I’d never done it, except on a couple of stupid songs, like Pussy. Peter encouraged me, but I was unsure. I wanted feedback from fans, but he didn’t want to give anything away, which in hindsight was good because otherwise » —  he snaps his fingers  — « the box is open, y’ know? It was great; a year and a half of no pressure, nobody on our backs. »

Was this freedom from expectation the main appeal of doing a project outside of Rammstein?

« It was a total vacation, » stresses Till.

« And just to create something together, » adds Peter. « We’re from different worlds — he’s more into gothic style and I’m into metal. We learned a lot from each other, helped each other a lot. I think Till sings a lot more on this record. »

« We don’t have these melodies in Rammstein, » Till explains. « Sometimes it’s just the bass and drums and no hook, so it amounts to this talk-singing [known as Sprechgesang in German]. I wanted EBM, Depeche Mode-style sequences, so I pushed Peter to do it and he came up with some great stuff. And writing songs can be hard. You go to bed with it, you dream about it, you wake up with it… and at the heart of it is the chorus. If you find a good one, you never have to work again, » he adds, at which Peter starts crooning, « Laaaast Christmas… »

« …I gave you my heart, » sings Till back to him, before adding with a chuckle, « Asshole! »

The more time spent with this curious twosome, the more it becomes clear that they have an understanding of each other that runs a lot deeper than mere musical collaboration, and that their roles within Lindemann are ones that they have taken with relish. While Peter wrote and played all of the album’s music, the filthy lyrics are all Till’s.

So now that they’ve seen what they can do together, how far are they planning to take it?

A single and video are on the cards, promises Peter, and gigs look to be a possibility, too. But when asked if he still enjoys performing live, Till goes quiet and shake his head, almost imperceptibly — a little sadly, even.

« But I have to, » he sighs after a heavy silence.

He does, however, say that if Lindemann were to play live, he wants a stripped-down show: «I think it’s better when it’s just pure energy, rock’n’roll, no pyro, » he says. « Leaves all this bullshit behind and just play the songs. »

Colour us intrigued — the frontman of one of metal’s most shamelessly showy bands labelling pyro and ballyhoo as ‘bullshit’? Given the nature of Till’s day job, this statement is perhaps a little worrying, and with Rammstein guitarist Richard Kruspe telling Hammer late last year that he didn’t know what the future held for the German titans, it adds further uncertainty to when or even if we’ll see the six-headed pyromaniac monster rise again. Luckily, though the other Rammstein members are indeed off doing their own thing at the moment, it seems, according to their frontman at least, that that chapter hasn’t been closed just yet.

« We’re all still in touch, » he reassures us.

« We don’t see each other, but that’s the point — it’s a vacation. We’re all going to meet back in Berlin around September, October. » Perhaps the wheels on the Rammstein machine will start rolling again sooner that we’d thought…

In the meantime, metal’s newest odd couple are still in their honeymoon period. They’re enjoying the freedom to make music on their own terms, however and wherever the hell they feel like it. So what’s the endgame for Lindemann?

« That we’re gonna get sued and burned for the lyrics, » laughs Peter. « But I’m just going to pretend I don’t understand any English. »

We won’t tell if you don’t.

[emphasisonthehomo]

Continuation of this.

I was lamenting in the tags on the original post about my failure to include Gracie and @teruel-a-witch rightly pointed out that Steve could be the bio dad. So anyways. Here’s how Danny gets a bun in his oven. This also gets unbelievably schmoopy.

I’d say this is a... light E? Heavy M? Sex but nothing too detailed.

•

The thing with having spent like 12 years as Best Friends with Benefits, is that this means everyone gets slapped in the face with Deeply Flirtatious Married Bickering right out the gate.

Danny comes back from the airport, and because he flew in last night and was going to fly out today, all he has is his comfy travel clothes and his funeral suit. As a result he’s in a threadbare pair of jeans and a t shirt with the album cover of Born in the U.S.A on the front, exclusively bc the idea of Danny walking around w/ Bruce Springsteen’s ass across his chest is hilarious to me.

But they’re like Obviously Close to the point that when Steve goes to bully Chin into joining his new task force, Chin sits there like “Okay so Steve McGarrett brought his… not husband, there’s no wedding ring, but boyfriend? Partner? To this discussion. Interesting.”

Steve and Chin go to speak to Doran, because Danny is very firmly in the ‘civilian’ box in Steve’s head. Which mostly means Danny stands by the rental car and goes WHAT THE FUCK when Steve and Chin go in without backup. This is probably the first time Danny’s seen Steve in SEAL mode, the closest is maybe when Steve’s taken him to the gun range. But this is different. This is a side of Steve that Danny hasn’t seen, in all the time he’s known him. But why would he? Steve goes off and does classified shit and doesn’t talk about it. Danny’s a PI from Jersey. It’s two very different lives.

Afterwards Danny walks up to Steve, grabs him by the elbow and, and in front of god and Chin and HPD says:

“Steven. Listen. I love you. You understand that, right?”

Steve, taken a back, half distracted because Doran is fucking dead and therefore useless says, “I – yes. I love you too, Danno.”

“Good,” Danny nods seriously, “Because you are a dumb shit idiot bastard son of a bitch motherfucker, what the hell were you thinking – ”

And then Chin witnesses one of their more legitimate arguments and is like oh damn, trouble in paradise.

After all of it, after Hess is dead in the water, Danny takes Steve back to a hotel room and fucks him careful. Because Steve’s kind of beat up, a little worse for wear. Because he’s a moron who crashed a car into a ship, but he’s also Danny’s moron. Danny sucks him sloppy and then gets on top of him and rides him bare, fucks himself on Steve’s dick until they’re both shaking with it, until Steve’s clinging to him and kissing him and holding him close.

Danny feels bad, leaving. He can tell Steve’s still in a really fragile place, but Danny does seriously need to get back to Jersey. He’s in the middle of a case there.

“So, Governor’s task force, huh?” Danny asks afterwards, when Steve’s basically using him as a human shaped weighted blanket, “You’ll be on O’ahu full time.”

“Yeah,” Steve kind of wants to ask Danny to stay, to join the task force with him. He won’t. Danny’s got a successful business in Jersey. Danny hates the beach.

“We’ll be able to see each other more often then,” and Danny’s so pleased with the idea, playing idly with Steve’s hair, “I’ll come out again in a couple months for a visit.”

Steve’s got so many fucking feelings, things he can’t even begin to say out loud, so he just starts pushing Danny onto his back. Ignores Danny’s protests of ‘you’re in a sling you moron’ and eats Danny out, very thoroughly cleans up the mess left deep inside him.

And then the next morning Steve drives Danny to the airport in the rental, pecks him on the mouth at passenger drop off, and watches him walk away.

Because that’s what they do.

Except Steve won’t be traveling anymore, not like he used to. He’s very cognizant of the fact that he’s going to be sleeping and waking up in the same bed every morning for the foreseeable future, and that if he weren’t in the middle of the pacific, Danny would probably be in that bed with him.

•

“Danny just went back to New Jersey?” Chin asks.

“That’s where he lives,” Steve says, surprised at how shocked Chin sounds, “I told you, he’s a PI.”

“Ah. And you’re going to live here. In Honolulu,” Chin says.

“Yes,” Steve says, unsure of what exactly is so confusing about the whole thing. Of course he’s going to live here. His house is here. The task force is here.

Chin just blinks at him.

“What?” Steve doesn’t understand why Chin’s making that face.

“I thought Danny was your boyfriend,” Chin says, looking a little uncomfortable.

“Oh no uh. No. Danny’s a friend.”

Chin blinks at him some more.

“… There’s a hickey on your neck,” Chin points out, because there is. It’s barely covered by the collar of Steve’s shirt.

“A friend with benefits,” Steve explains with a shrug.

“Alright then,” Chin’s still got his eyebrows up by his hairline.

•

And then things just sort of figure themselves out, with the task force. They become Five-0.

Kono’s favorite thing to do is ask “What’re you smiling at, boss?” when she catches Steve grinning at his phone, because like 99.999% of the time it’s because he’s texting Danny.

MEANWHILE

Danny’s in New Jersey, doing his thing. And he. Well, he feels some kind of way, that Steve’s in the reserves now. He’d always kind of assumed that when Steve either retired or went to the reserves, that he’d come to Jersey. But then Steve didn’t.

Danny gets it. Understands why Steve did what he did, why he’s in Honolulu now. But Danny also can’t help but be a little grumpy, because he wants Steve in his house instead.

But it’s what they do. This thing. It’s been long distance right from the beginning. Danny’s used to it.

Steve sends Danny badly framed pictures of himself shirtless on the beach at some ungodly hour of the morning, and Danny misses him with an ache he can’t shake. It is nice though, that they can text and call more frequently than when Steve was active duty.

AND THEN whelp.

Danny starts to get weirdly nauseous. Like he’s got a stomach bug. Except it doesn’t go away, and it’s usually in the morning, and suddenly the smell of coffee makes him sick and oh jesus fucking christ.

He’s an idiot.

Danny knows, that going on T isn’t a form of birth control. He knows this. But him and Steve fuck without a condom all the time, this hasn’t happened before, there’s no way.

Except he also knows ‘hasn’t happened before’ doesn’t mean something won’t happen and shit fuck goddammit.

So, he goes to see an ob/gyn and confirms his suspicions and son of a bitch.

He’s gestating a mini McGarrett.

•

Danno: I land Friday at 9:35

Danno: SORRY 21:35 🙄

And Steve’s kind of stupid excited, because yes Danny had said he’d visit again in a few months, but it’s one thing to know that Danny’s going to visit at some vague point in the future, and it’s another to get the flight itinerary.

He’s in a good enough mood about it that Kono pegs him immediately and is like “Is your Not Boyfriend going to come visit?”

And Steve doesn’t even argue about how he doesn’t like her referring to Danny as his Not Boyfriend, he just says “Yup 😊” and then idk gets into a high speed car chase and shoots his gun and does his usual bullshit.

Danny meanwhile is shitting a brick and pacing a hole in the floor and having a hissed conversation with Matty about the whole situation while packing. Danny respects Steve too much to do this over the phone, he needs to tell him to his face. This is going to change things; he just doesn’t know how. He knows how he wants things to change, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to get that.

“You gonna make an honest man out of him?” Matty’s been unimpressed with Danny and Steve’s fuck buddies thing, has been for years. He genuinely doesn’t understand why Danny won’t just put a ring on it, “He’s in the reserves now.”

“IT’S COMPLICATED” Danny’s kind of an emotional wreck. He tapered off of T because like, you know. Baby. So, he’s dealing with that plus all of the regular ass pregnancy hormones. He’s dreading it, the changes that’ll happen to his body. At the same time, he’s so excited to hold Baby in his arms that he’s freaking himself out a little. A Dad. He’s gonna be a Dad. He’s always wanted kids, and always assumed it probably wasn’t in the cards for him.

“It’s not that complicated. He’s gotta stay in Hawai'i so just move there or something.”

“I have spent years building this business –”

“Rebuild it on O’ahu and go get your baby daddy locked down, goddamn. Stop being stupid about it.”

Danny throws a sock at him.

•

Steve can tell that Danny’s stressed about something and trying to hide it. Steve tries to bring it up on the drive back to the house, but Danny is like “No. Not now. We’ll talk about it in a little bit” and he’s jittery in the passenger seat, but Steve knows when to push an issue and this is Not one of those times.

Danny practically jumps him once they get through the door, and Danny’s suitcase gets forgotten in the front hallway while the two of them get mostly naked. Shirts get tossed and a pants get shoved down, and it ends with Danny bent over the back of the couch while Steve fucks him deep and hard and right there Steve goddammit –

They flop together afterwards. They’re not even sitting on the couch, just kind of laying awkwardly on the floor behind it. Danny’s got come dripping out of him, christ he’s making a mess and he fights the urge to laugh hysterically, because this is how he got into this situation in the first place.

Steve can feel him tense up from where they’re cuddling together and asks:

“Are we talking about it now?”

He doesn’t think it’s anything bad, Danny doesn’t look scared or upset, just worried about something.

“Later, I need a shower,” Danny says.

Steve thinks if he pushed the issue now, Danny probably wouldn’t get too pissed, but he’d also much rather get Danny properly naked and wet, so instead Steve just drags him upstairs.

They don’t fuck again in the shower, but they do go in together. Danny gropes Steve shamelessly, and Steve keeps reaching up and changing the angle of the shower head so Danny gets sprayed in the face.

“Are we talking about it now?” Steve asks, when they’re damp and in bed. They’re curled up next to each other, legs tangled together.

“Shit,” Danny says, “Yeah.”

It’s late. Dark outside.

Danny’s suitcase is still down stairs. He needs to go grab it so he can brush his teeth and get his pajamas. Instead, he puts his hands on either side of Steve face and rips off the band aid.

“I’m pregnant.”

Steve’s eyes get huge.

“What?”

“I’m pregnant. It’s yours,” Danny adds, kind of uselessly. It’s not like it’d be anyone else’s. Danny lets go of his face.

Steve doesn’t look upset, but Danny didn’t think he would. He just looks surprised.

“Mine?” Steve says, after a beat.

“Yeah.”

“How?” Steve asks, looking gob smacked.

“Well Steve, when two people love each other very much –” Danny starts, and then stops because that feels like Too Much right now, “You came inside my you goon, that’s how it happens.”

“I come inside you all the time,” Steve says, blunt and vulgar.

“Yeah well. Last time it took,” Danny props himself up on his arm looks down a Steve, “What’s the face mean?”

“I – I don’t know,” Steve says, still processing.

Danny shifts and sits up.

“How’re we doing this?” Danny asks, eventually. He’s given Steve enough time to think.

“How do you want to do this?” Steve asks, because that’s a good enough place to start.

“I’m keeping it,” Danny says, “I’d like you to be involved, if you want.”

“Of course, I want!” Steve sounds a little indignant. He sits up too, and stares at Danny some more, “… I can’t go to Newark.”

“I know.”

And that’s the thing, isn’t it.

For once Steve’s tied down somewhere. After years of being on the move, he’s finally got commitments in once place.

Danny’s mouth is twisted up, and he doesn’t look happy. Steve leans in to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth, grabs his hand and squeezes.

“You could stay here,” Steve says, “That’s another option. I know you’ve got your PI business but I mean. Licenses transfer. You could work at Five-0.”

He doesn’t want to – this shouldn’t be something Danny feels pressured to do. He knows what Danny has in Jersey is important but. But it is an option.  

“That’s gotta be nepotism,” Danny says weakly, “Getting me a job at your task force.”

“Well, it is my task force, I can do whatever I want,” Steve says.  

“…Okay. Yeah,” Danny shakes his head slowly, clearly thinking through logistics, “I can get my license switched.”

“We can figure something out,” Steve says, breath catching in his chest because Danny. Danny’s going to move here.

Danny’s quiet for a long moment.

Then he gets a Look in his eye.

“If I asked you to marry me, would you say yes?” Because Danny needs to know. If they’re changing what they do, he needs to know how it’s going to change.

“What?” Steve’s back to staring.

That’s fair. Danny’s dropped quite a few bombs on him in the last few minutes.

“Would you say yes?” Danny repeats, pink cheeked and determined.

“… are you asking?”

“Not if you’re gonna break my heart about it,” Danny says, and he doesn’t mean for his voice to crack, but it does.

Steve kisses him. Cradles Danny’s face in his hand and kisses him careful and with purpose and pulls away.

“Will you marry me, Daniel Williams?”

“I fuck – I was going to ask you first!” Danny says, incensed.

“Too slow,” Steve kisses him again, “Will you?”

“Yes, you fucking bastard – ” Danny’s grinning, a laugh bubbling out of his chest.

He shoves Steve down onto the mattress. Steve laughs too, loud and infectious, and just tugs Danny down for another kiss.

AND THEN idk idk idk they’re gross and In Love and the next day Danny goes to the Palace and Kono’s like “CHIN, Steve’s Not Boyfriend is here” and Steve just gets Very Smug and says:

“You’re right, he’s not my boyfriend, he’s my fiancé.”

[spade-riddles]

Anonymous asked:

Sorry if this is harsh, but that’s not my intention.

Love Taylor. I truly believe she’s a good person (questionable actions, but overall a good person). Love her music…but personally, I’m kind of annoyed because it comes off as her focus being more on propping his ego up and keeping one “core” of her fanbase satisfied than it is on her upcoming return to tour.

She’s more than entitled to have fun and go out, etc, but with as much as this whole thing has been shoved in our faces and forced down our throats, I’d be pissed if I spent my hard earned money and she gave half assed effort on tour or at the show I was going to because she was too tired from flying back and forth “supporting her boyfriend”.

Now I’m not saying she would ever do that, because she’s one of the very few who even cancels or postpones shows as a very firm last resort, but that’s how it appears. That she’s being someone she’s not and she knows she’s not. The vibe is just off.

Football has always been around and she’s never made it a point to go to a game. But suddenly she’s a diehard Chiefs fan? We remember the cheat sheet she left in the suite after the first game. Why not give that same support to the WNBA or NWSL? A women’s college basketball game? Those are leagues that could really benefit from the support of someone with her platform. She couldn’t go to the WNBA finals games in New York with Gigi, Cara, Selena, etc? She couldn’t go to one of her friend Alex Morgan’s NWSL games?

We all see through the timeline. If it wasn’t so glaringly obvious what this situation is, why is the owner of the Chiefs telling us how “organic” it is? Why are all these random people being asked as if their word solidifies something as fact? Would they have asked him if he were simply a chiefs season ticket holder and not employed or closely linked to them?

I just hate these stains on her legacy. People are always going to remember the month she spent giving MH attention. They’re gonna remember how she was living it up with BM in the suites. They aren’t going to forget those things just because she went to a couple football games, got drunk and took pictures.

It just feels like everything has to be done with a man involved in some aspect. If it’s a new song or album, the man she was pictured with is assumed as the muse. If it’s an Easter egg, it’s assumed to be for a man. It’s ok to be or appear single. It’s ok to have female muses. Not every part of your art has to be completed in association with a man.

That’s like saying YOU can’t eat an apple because HE likes bananas.

I’m also tired of it because WE are the ones being given all this unwanted information about every second of their day, but being accused of not respecting her privacy when that’s simply not the case.

People pleasing is a hell of a drug.

--------------------------------------------

SR: In the past I would have felt much of what you wrote. But I have a different perspective this time. Watching her at these games, shoving her presence in the face of the "Dads, Brads and Chads" is hilarious to me.

I also think of it in terms of her next album release and her coming out. Everyone knows who she is, but she has made an impression on a segment of society that may not listen to her music. So I can see this having a positive impact on her next album sales.

But more importantly, I think that if/when she comes out, her presence among this segment of society is really important. She is so endearing at these games. She is interacting with the fans. The NFL pundits, players, coaches, all speak highly of her. It can only help open some minds up when she does come out. I also think that TK, as much as he and his brother annoy me with their attention seeking bits, is helping her with her coming out story. I say this based on the outfits he wears to match her eras. I said to a mutual yesterday that he is definitely a cooperative 'beard'.

[lifemod17]

!!!!!

hey, did you know that music is a very dear love language to me and that is how you get me to fold? 💛

me yelling into the void below the cut

I joined stream and saw the server was down so he couldn't get in the game, chat was being chaotic gremlins and suggested he does karaoke to which I jokingly agreed to and said "I second the karaoke! sing me some Hozier <3 haha"

the man cannot sing to save his life so he laughed, I thought he was going to brush it off...

YOU GUYS. TELL ME WHY THIS MAN WENT "haha you would have to get a few shots of alcohol in me to get me to sing, but I can do something better" *proceeds to play the Unheard EP followed by Unreal Unearth album*

I'm already dead. I DIED. THAT WAS SO PRECIOUS. that was it, right? no more, right??

TELL ME WHY when we got to I, Carrion (Icarian), almost towards the end of the song (cuz keep in mind I am modding this stream while freaking out and trying to be normal about Hozier) I explained briefly in chat "fun fact: I, Carrion (Icarian) is based on the story of Icarus but turned into a love song and it is v important to me"

THIS MF. muted himself, restarted the song, bumped up the volume so that I could properly take in the song from the top.

WHAT IF I FUCKING CRIED HUH?? WHAT IF I FALL TO MY KNEES??

I could feel my face get hot I was blushing so hard yall 🙈🙈🙈 like, SIR do you have any idea how much of a big deal this is??!?! I told him it was okay to unmute since he had switched over to typing in chat- his goofy ass refused and laughed at me hahaha

when the song finished he was going on about how there's just gonna be three and a half minutes of silence in the VOD and chat teasingly complained about it, to which I replied that I will gladly take the blame for that. and with the most gentle voice, just above a whisper, he said "honestly Tonee? it is SO worth it"

FUN FACT IF YOU DON'T KNOW THIS ABOUT ME ALREADY: I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO ACT WHEN PEOPLE ARE NICE TO ME!!! I NEVER FARE WELL WITH COMPLIMENTS TOO. I END UP EITHER MAKING A FOOL OF MYSELF BY RAMBLING OR JUST STAYING QUIET. SO I JUST WENT BACK TO Mod Tonee Mode TO AVOID THE FACT THAT I WAS FREAKING OUT BECAUSE THAT WAS ALL SO FUCKING SWEET AAAAHHHH!!!!