#but then they called it a MASTERPIECE. girl no lmao.

[akari-hope]

really begging for us to separate Well-Made media from Enjoyable media. something can be both, but one does not necessitate the other. you can Enjoy things that are not Well-Made. something that is Well-Made does not necessitate that you Enjoy it.

[sol-flo]

do i pull a if on a winter's night a traveller with this book and just let my eyes glaze over the words in record speed. do i quit it. or do i finish it like a normal human being.

[natdrinkstea]

My friend are you okay (regarding Steven universe)

no <3

[dumbseee]

matchmaker.

in which max is tired of lando being a single mess, so he plays matchmaker.

lando norris x famous!reader.

fc: sabrina carpenter.

_

liked by landonorris, francisca.cgomes, madisonbeer and 1 738 929 others.

y/n: lil photodump 💭

_

madisonbeer: my goddess!! miss you pookie xx

liked by y/n.

user: QUEEN OMGGBSKSKSL

user: she’s addicted to slaying

user: pls come to brazil!!

user: can’t wait to see you in paris!!

user: she’s so pretty wtf

user: Y/N AND MADISON COLLAB WHEN??

user: emails i can’t send is a masterpiece y/n!!

user: JUST ONE CHANGE IM BEGGING AHKSOSLSL

user: the man who’s going to date her is literally the luckiest man on earth

see more.

_

imessages between max and lando.

max:

mate

i have good news

lando:

what?

i’m scared actually

max:

fuck off

it’s for your own sake

lando:

okay NOW i’m terrified

max:

SHUT IT

you’re going on a blind date tonight

lando:

um

no?

max:

wasn’t a question you idiot

be ready at 9

a car will come pick you up

lando:

DHAT

WHAT

MAX ANWSER

WITH WHO???

I REFUSE

_

_

imessages between max and lando.

lando:

max fewtrell.

did you REALLY sent me on a blind date with Y/N FUCKING L/N??

WITHOUT WARNING ME??

i was SO embarrassing

max:

okay for my defense, i didn’t know

i asked kika to find me someone who could match your vibe and apparently it had to be y/n…

BUT apparently it went well so we good

lando:

mate

i fucking spilled my wine on her expensive looking dress

i tripped over my own feet when i got up to pay the bill

i stuttered when she asked for my NAME

i almost slipped when i tried to open the car door for her

i answered « that’s cool » when she told me that the inspiration for her new album was her past and traumatic relationship

max:

holy shit dude

she’s never calling you again that’s for SURE

well at least we tried

lando:

wait till i catch you and kika

i’ll run you over with my car

BOTH OF YOU TRAITORS

max:

i’m innocent

it’s all kika’s fault

_

_

imessages between max, kika and lando.

kika:

YOU COWARD

SHE THINKS YOU DIDN’T LIKE HER

TEXT HER NOW

max:

why are we yelling

kika:

go on twitter and see for yourself

lando:

WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN’T LIKE HER??

she should be the one to dislike me i literally made a fool out of myself BECAUSE I WASN’T PREPARED TO MEET MY CELEBRITY CRUSH???

kika:

you should be always prepared lando norris

lando:

omg give me a break

what should i do?

max:

her fans hate you lmao

text her maybe?

kika:

I HAVE A BETTER IDEA

invite her for the miami gp!

yes i’m a genius

lando:

do you want me to crash on the wall francisca?

i will 100% fumble the race if i know she’s watching

max:

oh my god

why are you such a pussy?

lando:

fuck YOU

this is all your fault

kika:

if you don’t invite her, i WILL

lando:

FINE

but if i die i’ll haunt your ass forever

kika:

who knows maybe you’ll finally win a race ;)

mister lando NOwins

lando:

wow i didn’t know mister pierre gasly was a race winner already

max:

okay enough you two

_

liked by landonorris, maxfewtrell, francisca.cgomes and 2 628 048 others.

y/n: may not know a lot about formula one, but i know for a fact that you deserved that win. i can’t wait to be with you during your journey, pretty boy <3

_

landonorris: i couldn’t ask for a better partner, pretty girl <3

user: YESSS FINALLY

user: omg they’re together??

user: WTFFFABSKSLMSLS

user: no bc why are they so cute??

user: aww she was so happy for him when he won

user: lmao the cameraman kept zooming in on her when lando won ajsksllz

user: PARENTS

user: CONGRATS LANDO

user: he better treat her right

user: they’re cute ngl

see more.

[leovenuslatina]

𝓓𝓞 𝓜𝓔 ୧ ‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡ PT.2

⊹

!!! this reading is 18+ ONLY !!! ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ

part 2 in the “do me” series yay !! this reading is about: Your FS favorite thing about having sex with you 💗 ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈•

thank you for having so much patience 2/3 this series is almost done !!

ᰔ

₊˚⊹ ᰔ౨ৎ₊this is just a reminder that tarot isn’t permanent or set in stone YOU decide how your life goes no one or nothing else now take a deep breath and choose the pile that calls to you ₊˚⊹ ᰔ౨ৎ₊˚⊹

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

pile one - ace of wands , ten of cups

🧿

pile one ur FS is such a perv when it come to you lmao !! their favorite thing about having sex with you is literally you ! the way you look and smell and your body is like a work of art to them you’re literally so so hot to them. during sex you’ll just catch them staring deep in into your eyes and he’s just lost in the mf sauce so deep in love and literally shocked that a hottie like you loves having sex with them. i’m getting that even though the two of you have been married or been together for a long time he’ll still feel like he scored BIG TIME. like he’s in high school and he’s like a nerd loser or something and you’re the hot popular girl and he literally can’t believe you’re interested in him. even when you’re not having sex they constantly he’s always look at you for validation that he’s making you feel good and not uncomfortable but also because you’re just sooo pretty he loves watching you. your FS LOVES watching you get dressed and he hates when you kick him out so you can change because like i said he views you as art would you keep people from seeing the mona lisa? so why keep him from the masterpiece that is you? Your FS loves having sex with you because you’re the most passionate lover he’s ever had i think it’s because your connection w your FS IS SOOO STRONG that it makes everything you two do in the bedroom 1000 times better.

⊹

extra messages- pregnancy, excitement, faster speed, high energy, spontaneous, fairytales coming true

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

pile two - four of wands, ace of swords

☁️

Pile 2 your FS gives me subby vibes. they love to care for you that’s their favorite thing about having sex with you is taking care of your needs he likes knowing you depend on him to feel good. during your sex they love when you tell them what to do to you. Your FS is like a puppy just waiting for your next instructions on how to best make you happy. your FS favorite thing about doing you is how much stronger it makes your connection of course it makes you two closer but something spiritual happens to them when you’re in bed together it’s like you’re his own personal slice of heaven. idk why i’m getting he proposed during sex like he just blurted it out he was mid stroke in you and was like “please marry me” or he just decided he wanted to marry you while having sex with you he realized you’re just too much of a catch and the two of you are just too sexually compatible to not make you his forever!!! when your FS is having sex with you he feels it calms him that’s why i think this pile is my soulmate twin flame pile because i just keep getting a strong spiritual healing sense. another thing your FS LOVESSSSSSSS your dirty talk either one or both of you love to talk dirty but i think you more than them like it and they are in love with hoe filthy you whisper in their ear it makes them almost cum on their pants you know exactly what to saw to make them feel something.

⊹

extra messages: acts of service, mind reading, stability, celebrations, commitment, protection, dominant/domination, work, frustrations

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

pile three - wheel of fortune, nine of cups

🌸

your FS loves that you’re innocent but in the private of your own bedroom you’re a freaky ass. it’s very unexpected for him but he loves that the more he gets to know you the more you surprise him and that just makes you that much more attractive to him. i think like pile two your FS feels a very deep connection to you like he manifested himself to be with you 🥹 that’s so sweet. Your FS LOVES how risky your sex seems ??? i’m getting one or both of you have like super dark kinks and your FS loves that they never know what to expect from you it turns them on so so much they have never been with someone as adventurous as you it makes them feel like they’re on top of the world. even if you don’t see yourself as kinky now Pile 3 im seeing by the time you and your FS start having sex you will be confident enough to explore all facets of your sexuality your FS may even have a lot to do with how confident you feel in indulging yourself in kinky ways 😉.

⊹

extra messages- cycles, the universe has a plan, lucky, things going well, value yourself, emotional fulfillment, pride

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

[racinggirl]

i’m hunting your ask box at this point but i can’t really regret it, your writing is a masterpiece each and every time 🎉

today’s thoughts : smau where y/n and charles always ‘argue’ and make comments against each other on socials, leading people to think they actually hate each other (they’re actually best friends and lovers in secret, and sit together giggling as they tweet stupid shit about each other) they admit the truth with a post of them on a date with the caption “… enemies to lovers?”

the grid know they’re good friends but not that they’re going out until the posts, lando would definitely be like “yep i knew it i called it” when he really did not

lots of love!! <3

yourusername

liked by user1, user2, user3 and 73,710 others

An iced coffee a day... (only it's just frappuccino without coffee bc I don't like coffee) 🧋

view all 9,264 comments

user8 you're so real for this, queen

charles_leclerc someone needs to teach Y/N that frappuccino's are just coffee's sugary sidekick

yourusername sorry Charles, I prefer my beverages without a side of bitterness. user2 Am I the only one that feels like Charles and Y/N don't like each other this much? user10 Nope. user1 They hate each other lol

charles_leclerc

liked by user4, user5, user6 and 1,402,618 others

Let the season begin 🏎️ ❤️

view all 62,720 comments

yourusername goodluck, you'll need it 😚

charles_leclerc thanks, good to see you're unable to stay away from my posts 😉 yourusername someone should keep an eye on the chaos you bring to my feed. It's a public service, really. charles_leclerc a public service? I should be charging admission for the entertainment I provide 😘 user7 okay they are UNHINGED

yourusername

liked by user2, user7, user8 and 92,610 others

is it giving 'that girl' vibes? ✨

view all 5,277 comments

user4 YES IT IS 😍

charles_leclerc you're such a StarBucks addict 🧋

yourusername says the guy that's addicted to having a cup of espresso every morning

user10 wait, how does she know? user6 OMG what if they are dating? user2 lmao, they hate each other, I doubt they are willingly hanging out together

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, user2, arthur_leclerc and 104,175 others

no cap needed 🌎 ✈️

view all 9,610 comments

user1 liked by Charles AND Arthur? I thought they hated each other?

user3 Why do I feel like we're gonna get mind fucked, they are playing a game and we're all losing 😶

user9 I'm obsessed, girl you're living our dream 😩

user5 where are you going???

yourusername 🇯🇵 ❤️ user6 THE JAPAN GP? OMG

user2 hold up, no Charles x Y/N banter in the comments?

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, scuderiaferrari and 126,710 others

@charles_leclerc have to admit, I would make a pretty good WAG 💋

view all 15,710 comments

user9 OMG OMG OMG OMG

user6 WHAT IS HAPPENING OH MY LORD

charles_leclerc if only you would choose F1 over soccer 😘

yourusername I'll come back to you about that in a week

one week later

yourusername & charles_leclerc

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, f1 and 2,516,470 others

Enemies to lovers?...

Took you a while to figure that out, happy 2 years baby ❤️

view all 74,571 comments

charles_leclerc I love you ❤️

yourusername I love you more ❤️ ❤️

landonorris yep, I knew it, called it

charles_leclerc no you did not, you tried to hit on her 😂 yourusername you could learn something from his flirting skills tho, at least Lando didn't ask me if 'falling down from heaven hurt' 💀 charles_leclerc It worked though, didn't it 😉

user1 TWO YEARS ALREADY?

user7 that sixth picture though 😩 ❤️

user8 I want what they have 😍

a/n: thank you for sending in the request sweety! It really means a lot! Hopefully you’ve enjoyed it! As I mentioned before, I will have a small break. I’ve got 3 requests in my askbox atm, but if you have an idea for a story, don’t hesitate to hunt my askbox again and send it in. I’m not 100% sure when I’ll be back exactly, but it shouldn’t be too long. Lots of love 💗

[dilemmaontwolegs]

Your Biggest Fan {SMAU} || LN4

First attempt at this for a change. One || Two || SMAU || Three

landonorris Maldives 13 Dec 2023

liked by maxfewtrell, romeobeckham, parishilton and 3,492,629 others landonorris: Night out with my favourite girl @/ynheiress

maxfewtrell: not even a photo credit for this masterpiece, I see how it is. ynheiress: sorry, credit to @/pietra.pilao, without her Max would not have taken this properly. maxfewtrell: ouch, this hurts. pietra.pilao: but it's so true.

Only Fans: YourUsername Come and play, it's Wet Wednesday

y/nheiress Maldives 14 Dec 2023

Liked by martingarrix, maxfewtrell, kylejenner, alegragucci and 5,263,226 others Y/nheiress: found my forever person, love you BB

REDDIT: Latest Conspiracy Theory

Username1: Okay but hear me out...These two are partying in the Maldives and were papped leaving a club that like no regular person can get into - the entrance fee is more than my rent FOR A YEAR. Anyway, half an hour later my favourite couple are streaming on Only Fans and I swear they were drunk. She was wearing a guys shirt and it definitely looks like the one Lando wore out. Coincidence? I THINK NOT. Also...she calls him Big Boy (and he is IYKYK) shortened to BB? Lando is this you?

Username2: lmao these two have a combined net worth of over $100mil, why would they do only fans? You're delulu. Username3: I was thinking the same until I found an old clip of Lando on Twitch...someone called him Big Boy in the chat and he just disappeared offline. And he's (joked) that he does Only Fans...oh god, I think you are on to something... Username4: Not everyone heading to Only Fans and subscribing to Big Boy and his Baby Girl 😂 clever marketing ploy.

Only Fans: YourUsername This account is no longer active.

[toomuchracket]

Office nerd sending nudes (photo/video) for the first time.

well his dick is too big to fit in one frame so there's that lol - he calls you in a panic like "darling how do i do this i'm so sorry i can't fit everything in the pic", terrified of disappointing you and unfulfilling your very hot very polite request for nudes (you left some on his phone too teehee), but actually realising your boyfriend is so hung he can't even take a normal dick pic... that turns you on more than any photograph lol. but you talk him through it, sultry and sexy, guiding him to get into the positions you like watching him get off in-person in most and taking pics there, and once he figures it out... incredible. mind you, he's an art critic, so he knows the power of angles and lighting and composition and all that artsy shit, and the nudes you end up getting from him are works of art in themselves, erotic masterpieces lmao. in terms of video - you just ask him to film himself the next time he wanks without you there, so he's at his most natural/comfortable, and you're overjoyed and turned on to an insane level when your phone pings with a video of matty in the shower, phone propped up on the bathroom counter and glass door open as he fucks his hand the way he fucks you. he's beautiful, dripping wet and hard and moaning your name and "thinking about fucking you instead, darling, FUCK, wish i was inside you right now. soon, though, i promise, promise i'll fuck you so good, make you cum all over this dick. s'not mine, really, s'yours, all yours. girl of my fucking dreams"; when he cums, so do you, gushing all over your fingers before giggling like a lovesick teenager at him blowing a kiss to the camera before ending the vid. yeah. it's good <3

[kcokaine]

"don't ever disrespect my glorious gege" GIRL ur gege is the one who made geto into a 'bum' lmao i don't think his writting is that good like you make it seem like he is human and obviously his work isn't perfect ur def in the minority who like him

Average JJk fan not able to comprehend BUM ASS characters are characters and can be good characters. Geto is not a bad character!!!! Im calling him a bum cuz he is a BUM and yall need to accept that LMAOOOO Also tf you got against Gege, he made this masterpiece of a manga so you can be getting mad over it in someone's ask. If you dont like it just dont read it? JJk fans are genuinely so disrespectful to him and his work only cuz he kills your favorite character its insane. I had my doubts about Gege but you really just need to think on things deeper to understand media that upset you dont mean they are BAD MEDIA. Art is supposed to awoke emotion.

[justcallmenikki7]

Hi, it’s Nikki.

I’m writing this to give you all, the ones who are still here even tho I’ve been basically hiatus for a while now, with some posts here and there. You probably all, also, saw this coming, but I’m sadly done writing.

God, im crying lmao.

Anyways, I realized after constantly trying to write something, outline, everything, I couldn’t write anymore. Maybe it’s because I went through a severe abusive relationship at the beginning of April 2022 to the end of November of 2022, and it completely changed me as a person. I lost a lot of love, likes, whatever you may call it, from that relationship. It changed me, and one of the things it changed in me was my love for writing. My spark isn’t here anymore, and I’ve been trying to hold on for the last possible year and a half for you guys, but it hasn’t happened. I’m afraid of change, I’m afraid of letting go, and have a bad time of accepting the fact that i mayve grown out of a phase, you know? My love for the boys will always be there, always.

What has also caused me lots of stress, and is a sign of losing my spark, has been trying to write and come up with ideas, and creat stories for those who have messaged me privately, and I feel terrible for not being able to do that, and I hate breaking promises/not keeping my word because I wanted to make you guys happy, and I’ve failed those individuals. I’m sorry for not finishing those requests, and I’m sorry that I never actually started them because I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to make you happy, but I couldn’t get anything out and so I sat for the longest time, trying to get a good paragraph, or in a general a sentence out, but i couldn’t and I didn’t.

And I’ve sadly relapsed the other night after almost 2 years of being clean from s/h. My depression has been in the dumps, and even tho I have so many positives going on in my life and such amazing people, and an amazing partner, my mental health is deteriorating and I need to focus on myself.

I know I’ve once done a short hiatus before and came back because sometimes a small break is good to have, but sometimes all things must come to an end, and I’m officially closing my chapter with tumblr and writing for good.

I’ve made a couple of friends on here, and those friends I want to address real quickly and say my peace.

@wickizer , girl you know everything and ily

@minniepetals . My gosh, I remember reading your story String of Fate when it first came out, and I swore up and down, still today I do, that it’ll be published in the hall of fame. Despite it being on its hiatus, it’s still the best story so far. You deserve an award for your writing, and your story Cry Me A River is such an amazing masterpiece. I’ve been meaning to read it all, but life has gotten in the way and I’m so proud of you. Even tho we haven’t talked in the longest time, I’m still cheering you on, on here and outside of tumblr.

@aft3rhrs . Love, you’re amazing and I hope you take care of yourself and take time for yourself. Self love and self kindness is a priority and make yourself a priority. Your writing is beautiful and I’m glad we befriended each other. I’m cheering you on, and always will. Thank you for being a kind person.

And every other writer that I bonded with on here, I love you and will be a huge cheerleader for you. To those who I reached out to when I was still new for advice, or for me to fangirl to, thank you for being kind and helpful.

And to my followers, the ones who cheered me on to keep writing when I first joined tumblr, thank you for being kind and supportive. I love each and every single one of you. You made this place a safe place for the longest time, and I’m thankful for all of you.

I’m sorry for the longest apology and me basically dumping my issues on here, I just needed to be honest with you all. I didn’t want this to sound like a ‘poor me’ ‘feel sorry for me’ but I needed to, like I said before, be honest with you.

This is scary for me, but this is me saying goodbye.

Love forever and always, justcallmenikki7.

[baddest-batchers]

THE BAD BATCH SEAON 3 FINALE THOUGHTS & MAJOR FEELINGS 😭

spoilers below the cut~

• Crosshair’s. Shaking. Hand. While they were approaching Tantiss. My heart was in my throat. Then his attempting to Plan 99 I was about to scream‼️ But thankfully Hunter & Wrecker vetoed that shit real quick thank u for ur service boys and for saving Crosshair 🫡😭

• Omega: PRISON BREAK KIDS LETS GOOOOOOO

• OUR GIRL RELEASED THE ZILLO AND THE ZILLO SAID YEET! The way it chomped that one guard lmao

• Echo & Emerie = sick af brother sister team-up. They got shit done‼️‼️

• Echo calling Omega Havoc 5, I love them sm

• The three of them releasing the clones 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

• I had a hunch Nala Se was going to die. That was kinda sad tbh but she took Rampart with her so she’s such a g for that

• CX-2 cutting off Crosshair’s hand made me shake and cry. I literally could not believe what I saw. And during that entire sequence I was still thinking he was Tech, too. 😭😭😭😭😭

• WRECKER BABY I THOUGH HE WASN’T GONNA MAKE IT BUT HE WENT FULL HULK MODE AND I LOVED IT

• Hemlock is a sick bastard. That mf was going to recondition our boys or throw them away. FUCK I WANTED TO PUNCH HIM SO BADLY.

•Hunter spearing CX-2. My heart dropped and now it’s just empty because it wasn’t Tech. Why did they waste so much time on him during the rest of the season then?? To string us along and make us think it was Tech????? JENNIFER I’M IN YOUR WALLS.

• I absolutely love how none of the boys held back. They were in it for better or for worse.

• HEMLOCK HANDCUFFING HIMSELF TO OMEGA WAS NOT ON MY BAD BATCH FINALE BINGO CARD

• WET HAIR HUNTER WET HAIR HUNTER WET HAIR HUNTER

• Crosshair being so afraid he’d accidentally shoot Omega 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

• CROSSHAIR LINING UP THE SHOT ON HUNTER’S SHOULDER LIKE HE DID WITH TECH BACK IN TCW 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 HUNTER’S CONFIDENCE IN HIS BROTHER WHO WAS MISSING HIS FUCKING HAND MIND YOU OMG

• CROSSHAIR MAKING THE SHOT

• HUNTER SHOOTING HEMLOCK LIKE 10 TIMES HE DESERVED THAT. THANK YOU.

• the score, Omega running to her brothers I was crying i replayed that scene 10 times 😭

• Omega looking at her brothers then to Crosshair’s hand and then running to hug him sent me into full on ugly cry. We got their hug guys 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 plus a little group hug guys im so unwell over this shot

• the entire ending was so bittersweet. Like DBB said, it was full of hope. The rest of the boys got to watch Omega grow up and that was what they so desperately deserved after all they had been through.

• We got DILF Hunter too guys 😭 and Omega is a pilot, like Tech 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 their hug was just so sweet and then her keeping Lula and Tech’s goggles on her ship 🥺😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

• I definitely think there might possibly be another show announcement coming with how it ended, I mean pilot Omega for the rebellion???? LETS GOOOOOO PLEASE

• I’m equal parts happy with this ending and sad. I think it was such a waste of time and narrative to have so many scenes with focus on CX-2 and 1. Not reveal him. 2. Not have him be Tech. Like that would have been such an insanely good story line to have followed. But nope ofc not 😔. My heart is empty because we didn’t get Tech back but then again there is still a chance he’s alive, right? Right????? I will die on this hill of delulu. But all in all, it was a good ending to this masterpiece of a show. My heart is forever changed by the Bad Batch and I will love them for a long time to come.❤️🖤

[generalallxsanjishipper]

Some incorrect\extremely correct quotes for my EXTREMELY FAR AWAY IN THE FUTURE ADP FIC (and in part in TIALAMYDK LMAO)

***

Alice *after entering Douxie's mind for several minutes, on the floor*: Oh, wow. Your brain is a disaster

Douxie *also on the floor*: Yeah, I know

Alice : Ever thought about doing drugs?

——

Zoe: Casperan. 

Douxie: Ashildr.  

Zoe: Clumsy dumbass. 

Douxie: Angry Chiwawa. 

Claire: *confused* What are they doing? 

Archie: Insulting contest. 

Claire: Ah. 

Zoe: Old Man. 

Douxie: Dwarf. 

Zoe: Flat ass.

Douxie:  Useless Half Lesbian

Zoe: Knucklehead

Douxie: Mosquito

Zoe: Peter Pan

Douxie: *Suddenly grinning* Pinky pie. 

Zoe: EXCUSE ME?

Douxie: HA! *Claps hands with a smug face* I WON! 

Zoe: HOW DID YOU JUST CALL ME?! I'M GONNA FUCKING END YOU! 

Alice: Now, now… 

——

Douxie: Hello, my name is Failure, and you're watching my life crumble into pieces.

Douxie: *waves his fingers and sings like he is in a Disney Channel intro*

——

Simon: Why are you on fire?

Douxie: This is just how my day is going.

——

Douxie: Everybody shut up, please! I'm thinking.

Zoe, patting him on the back: Well, don’t think too hard. I wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself.

Douxie: Oh, for the bloody sake, Ashildr!

——

Jim: I’m here for the cult stuff.

Alice: How did you find us?

Jim: I saw your ad on craigslist.

——

Alice: To be honest, I'm kinda pissed that I'm not asleep in bed next to the love of my life in a cottage with no obligations other than watering my vegetable garden.

——

Archie, looking at Douxie, Alice, Simon and Zoe: Okay, so I need to become a therapist faster.

——

Simon, on the phone: Oh, hey man… Sorry for accusing you of murder last week.

——

Alice: Someone take me to art museums and make out with me.

Zoe: But they said not to touch the masterpieces.

Alice: Well somebody's got to pin the artwork to the wall.

Douxie, on a mic that he brought by himself: This is Douxie, those idiots are fucking around in the East wing again.

Douxie:*drops the mic on the floor and leaves, muttering about being a third wheel*

——

Zoe: Mom liked to say ‘you can be part of the problem or part of the solution,’ but I happen to believe you can be both.

——

Jim: Who's in charge here?

Zoe, shrugging: Usually whoever yells the loudest. So, me.

——

Barbara, seeing both Douxie and Alice on wheelchairs: I hope you have an explanation for this.

Alice: We have three, actually! :D

Douxie: Pick your favorite.

——

Alice: *venting endlessly to Simon about her week*

Simon, every once in a while: *in a monotone* Wow, that is so wild.

——

Alice: Yeah, well I've never died so how do I know that Gods or... God are real.

Nari:*appears*

Alice: WHAT THE FLIP

Athena:*appears too*

Alice:*looses her flipping mind*

——

Zoe, to Claire: Well, one of us has to be wrong and it’s not going to be me.

Claire:

Claire: Yes, it's you, actually.

——

Alice, *talking about Zoe*: She's the girl of my dreams!

Douxie: You say to most of the girls that they are the girl of your dreams.

Alice: I have a lot of dreams.

——

Douxie: The next time I open up to someone, it'll be my autopsy.

——

Simon: Sorry I can’t be emotionally vulnerable with you, it'd ruin the mystery.

——

Zoe, *talking about one of her first meeting with Douxie*: And then he ran into my knife. He ran into my knife several times.

Jim: You mean you stabbed him?

Zoe: He ran into my knife.

Douxie: She ran into my knife, too.

——

Zoe: I don’t even have time to tell you how wrong you are.

Jim: Okay?

Zoe: …

Zoe: …

Zoe: Actually it’s gonna bug me if I don’t, so...

——

*Zoe and Alice are texting*

Zoe: Your ass is like…

Zoe: Spacious

Alice: WHAT

Zoe: Sorry, I didn’t want to say fat because it might trigger your ED

——

Bastard number 1:*sarcastically, while leaving* I hope you all make it to adulthood.

Jim: That’s... a great prayer.

Simon: A needed one.

Douxie: A needed one indeed.

——

Simon: I will send my army to attack!

Simon: *makes roaring noises*

Simon: *releases a dumpster of raccoons*

Jim, next to his Vespa: WHOA

Jim: THEY WERE YOURS????

——

Zoe, singing to the tune of I Kissed a Girl: I killed a guy, and I liked it-

Douxie, whispering: Should we call the exorcist?

Alice, also singing: The taste of his cherry chapstick.

Simon, appalled, but looking apathetic: Call the exorcist.

——

Zoe: Alice and I are no longer dating.

Alice: Zoe, that’s a horrible way of telling people we’re married.

——

Zoe: Hey, quick question. How petty am I allowed to be?

——

Alice: What if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything?

Alice: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies.

Toby: Socks are Feetie Heaties.

Jim: Defibrillators are Heartie Starties.

Douxie: Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies.

Claire: Stamps are Lickie Stickies.

Zoe: I hate you guys so much.

——

Alice, looking through their clothes: Has anyone seen my top?

Simon, grabbing his mint gums without looking at her: Zoe's in the kitchen.

[im-out-of-it]

season 1, episode 1 list of my stupid thoughts

1. not been a minute and jace and clary have already annoyed me (what? they’re breathing)

2. I’m happy Alec is the first one we see 🥰

3. I think it’s funny how Jocelyn raised clary. because let’s just not tell her she has shadowhunting abilities and then try to spring it at the last minute. I get she wanted to protect clary but Jocelyn is just as bad as clary- which shows partly why clary is insufferable

4. side note- so glad they upped the ages!!!!!!!

5. MAGNUS HAS ARRIVED

6. IZZY IS A FUCKING MASTERPIECE

7. MY MAN ALEC CAN FIGHT AND KILL DEMONS

8. the CGI in the first season is so horrid 😭

9. Valentine isn’t the most terrifying villain and I feel like the show should’ve made him darker/evil. he’s just not that scary to me.

10. it’s funny for Jocelyn to constantly drag Magnus into her problems but has she ever actually helped him? poor selfless sweet Magnus always helping and being kind, ALWAYS getting taken advantage of. Simon is a vampire because of clary = and because Jocelyn didn’t tell clary anything about shadowhunting.

11. I like that Izzy and clary become friends and she’s not some hateful girl that’s like “no other girl can be prettier than me and if she is pretty, i hate her”

12. Alec is right. the mission is ruined and now they’ve got some “mundane” there but jace just throws everyone to the side because he “likes” her. Alec is the only one here with some common sense

13. Alecs mood and eye rolling is how I feel when I watch or read about clary and jace lmao

14. I hope this isn’t rude but the acting for clary and jace is sooooooo awful. like they don’t have much chemistry together and their facial expressions just seem off. take for example- Matt as Alec- his facial expressions work because he’s not being extra about it. and it’s not cringe. Harry as Magnus as well. they don’t need to say anything but can act with just their facial expressions. I just don’t see that for clary and jace. yes I’m biased but it’s cringe

25. I nEeD tO kEeP yOu sAfE cLaRy bro you just met her and you’re acting like she’s your soulmate or shit. ITS SO CRINGE

26. side note- Magnus is absolutely wonderful. barely is in the first episode for 5-10 minutes and he’s already made an iconic entrance/introduction

27. side note- I don’t see what Alec sees in jace. I wish they would’ve handled the so called crush better. SOMEONE TELL ALEC THAT JACE IS NOT WORTH IT

stay tuned for our next let’s critique shadowhunters but celebrate show Malec meeting 🫶🏼

[shima-draws]

Hi! I'm the anon with the Cinderella/Sanji cooking for Luffy story! I'm so glad you liked it I just couldn't get it out of my head. Sanlu/lusan is literally so cute and wholesome. Please please please write a fic about this!! It would make me so incredibly happy.

Also, just to add on to like, the Sanji giving the food to the starving girl thing, reading back on it, Sanji definitely could have given her the sandwich instead, and he would still be doing a nice thing but HE GAVE HER THE SPECIAL DISH BECAUSE THATS JUST WHO HE IS.

On luffy saying "him. I want that one" - I just think it would be so funny if like, his pirate crew is doing this as kinda a hoax thing, where they're just trying to calm down the masses, but luffy throws a wrench into their plans by being like guess whose getting married!!

Anyway, I'm glad you liked it and thank you for your response!!

(Answering this late like a loser I’m SO sorry lol)

!! I’M GLAD I HAVE YOUR PERMISSION again I’m Really Bad at finishing fics but at the very least I can start it and try to get the plot going <3

YEAHHH I feel like in the moment he wouldn’t have even thought about the sandwich at all. He’s like I have this dish that I spent so much time on and really I could call it my masterpiece and I’m going to give it to this girl because she needs it more than I do. Again Sanji giving up his freedom to save someone from hunger is so……..breaks down crying

LMAO that’s also something that’s so on brand for Luffy, to take something his crew started as a joke/a fake out and making it real because he got Attached. I just love the vision of Nami and Usopp making fun of the whole situation and being like “Can you imagine Luffy getting married? LUFFY??” and they laugh it off but then Luffy shows up with Sanji and is like “Hey guys I’m engaged now :DDDD” and they’re like. What the FUCK, Luffy you had ONE job!!!

You’re so welcome again thank YOU for the adorable AU idea 💖 I’m brainrotting over this so hard rn actually

[tiziesdrafts]

[valley girl delusion]

Pairing: Percy x Annabeth, established.

Summary: Annabeth is new to Goode High & valley girls cause trouble.

Word count: 2.1k

Warnings: None, no beta, just your typical ‘mean girl wants Percy & treats Annabeth like shit’

Notes: This is my first fanfic so don’t expect a masterpiece lmao, I tried to make Annabeth’s appearance as ominous as possible so that you can imagine any Annabeth.

Weaponry? check. Armory? check. Ambrosia? already in the bag. Annabeth was ready to go to the fiery depths of Tartarus and beat any monster who would come across her, or so it seemed. In reality, she was just getting ready to attend her first day of school at Goode High. Maybe it seemed as if she was doing too much, but a girl had to be ready for anything. Plus, she’d already heard Percy’s thoughts on high school before and how chaotic it got at times, and she just wanted to be prepared.

The curly haired girl put on a simple outfit, comfortable jeans and a pink hoodie that she stole from Percy. She did her skincare routine, ate breakfast and then hurried out of her house as she was running late for school. Had I not been searching for my dagger, I wouldn’t be sprinting my way to school - She thought as she ran, the wind hitting her face with force, mentally kicking herself for taking so long in such an unimportant task. But there was no time for dwelling on what ifs, before she knew it, Annabeth was standing right outside the doors of Goode High. She took a deep breath and then walked in, ready to search for her boyfriend.

Why on Earth are these halls so confusing? - Was Annabeth’s only thought as she paced through the hallways of the school. Seriously, Annabeth had been to a few labyrinths in her life, yet the simple buildings of a high school looked more difficult to walk through than those other places. Annabeth didn’t even have her phone with her, as she’d rather not attract any monsters on her first day of school. Therefore, she could not even call Percy to go find him.

Eventually, Annabeth ended up bumping into a brunette girl with blue eyes who looked as if she were attending a fashion show. She was wearing a red crop top and white shorts, with some poorly placed fake eyelashes and strong foundation. The girl gave her an annoyed look, and side eyed her blonde friend.

“Oh, I’m sorry for that. My bad” Annabeth apologized, she knew what those glares meant, and she frankly would’ve rolled her eyes, but she was in a calm mood today.

“Yeah, watch where you’re going,” The blonde rudely replied. She was wearing a tight blue crop top and black shorts. What was her problem? - Annabeth thought.

“Are you new here? I haven’t seen your face before. Or are you just an NPC that no one knows about? That’d make sense” The brunette rapidly said, she looked like the kind of person who simply had no filter and would not care if she hurt someone’s feelings. But Annabeth wasn’t hurt, the girl was right, she was indeed new and nobody in this high school knew her. But the nerve? Unbelievable attitude.

“Well, yeah. I’m new here”

The girl’s eyes scanned Annabeth, the brunette turned towards her friends and they exchanged a few looks, until they both nodded at the same time and turned towards Annabeth. That was… uncanny, for the lack of a better word.

“You have nice hair, good bone structure, with some lip gloss you’d be more than fine. Anyway, I’m Heather, and you’re sitting with us for lunch” The brunette confidently stated. Annabeth was astounded, why were these girls suddenly just giving their unsolicited opinion? Once again, the nerve. Annabeth opted for just giving her a tight-lipped smile, just friendly enough yet still uninterested.

“By the way, I’m Charlotte” - said the blonde - “If you just used some blush then you’d be just beautiful” She turned to face Heather, “Heather, I need your blush” she demanded. Though it was quite obvious to Annabeth how the power dynamic between those girls worked, Heather was the ‘queen bee’ and Charlotte was simply her companion.

Honestly, Annabeth just wanted to find her boyfriend, but those girls were so straightforward and talked so fast that she barely had time to register whatever was going on. She followed the girls to the Literature classroom and sat down. The bell rang just in time for class to start, and for the two girls to stop talking about whatever happened on Love Island. Yay!

After a few hours of classes, it was finally lunchtime. Annabeth sadly shared no Monday classes with Percy, meaning that they’d only be able to see each other on breaks those days.

Heather saw Annabeth through the hallway and made a ‘come here’ motion towards her. Once Annabeth caught up with the duo, Charlotte excitedly expressed, “Alright, typically we’ll sit on our assigned table in the cafeteria, but today there’s swimming practice with the boys and they are all so hot that we MUST see them”

“For real though. Plus, I get to see my crush! Last time, we locked eyes!” Heather gushed, over-enthusiastic about her second-long interaction with a boy.

“He’s totally in love with you, Heather” Charlotte grinned, “We should get going then!”

“Sounds good to me” The curly haired girl responded, it was really likely that Percy would be there, so Annabeth was excited at the thought of finally seeing her boyfriend. Before heading to the pool though, Annabeth had to ask her question.

“Oh, also, do any of you know if Percy Jackson is part of the swimming team?” Annabeth wondered, she just wanted to know for sure whether she’d be wasting her time or not. Who cares about swimmers when Percy Jackson is your boyfriend?

“Percy Jackson?” The popular girls asked at the same time.

“Yeah, black hair, green eyes, tall guy. You know him?”

“Duh, of course we know him” Charlotte rolled her eyes, “He’s like the hottest guy at school, but Heather already called dibs on him so don’t even try. Not like you do him could either” She continued, looking at Annabeth up and down.

“Exactly, and Nico Di Angelo is also Charlotte’s crush so you can’t go for him either. You’re gonna have to settle for one of the Robotics nerds I guess” Heather commented before bursting into laughter, Charlotte joined her, practically crying from how funny she found the situation to be. Apparently being with a robotics guy would be the funniest thing in the world? Annabeth didn’t understand their humor.

She was skeptical to say the least, too much information all at once. First, Heather thought that Percy was single and wanted to hit on him. When he was literally her boyfriend. Second, Charlotte was so unbelievably stupid that she had a crush on Nico, oblivious to the fact that he wore a freaking LGBT pin on his jacket at ALL times? Third, how did these girls find the most dumb stuff to be funny? Annabeth seriously pondered if they were both sharing a single brain cell, or if they had been dropped as babies.

“Uhh” Was all Annabeth could mutter as they walked into the pool room. She was, for what was probably the first time in her life, speechless. She couldn’t wait to share all this gossip with her boyfriend. Thankfully, she was saved by a loud shriek coming from Heather’s mouth.

“Oh. My. God. That’s Percy! Look at his abs, that’s not even a sleeper build, that’s literally like a- like a full day build!” Full day build? Do these girls ever think about the logic of their words? Annabeth was so close to laughing, but she was also entranced by her boyfriend’s godly body - No pun intended. Who could blame her? All those hours of training in Camp Half-Blood clearly did their work.

Annabeth locked eyes with Percy and she gave him a small wave. Percy grinned as if he had just won the lottery, and started walking towards the girls, ignoring the calls of his coach. He didn’t need the lessons, anyway. Heather, noticing that Percy was coming to their bench, started brushing through her head and hurriedly fixing her makeup.

“Charlotte!” She loudly hissed, “Give me your mascara, NOW” The blonde complied, handing her mascara and a small mirror so that Heather could fix her fake eyelashes.

Annabeth kept her eyes locked on Percy as he got closer and closer, but she did notice from the corner of her eye how Heather stood up on the bench, on her heels, and walked towards the black haired boy. Heather clearly faked a fall and Percy, being as oblivious as he was, caught her from hitting the floor. I wouldn’t have been mad if she actually fell and hit the ground though. Annabeth already hated those girls.

“Oh my gods- god. Are you okay?” Percy worriedly asked the girl in his arms. Heather dramatically gasped and threw her arms around Percy. She started fake-sobbing and blabbering about how if he hadn’t been there, then she would’ve probably died. Yeah, for sure. Let’s see if you’d fall had there been a robotics nerd instead of my boyfriend, snake. Gods, what I’d give to grab my knife and slice her open so bad until she bleeds to- stop, stop it Annabeth. Be the bigger person. At this point, Annabeth was seeing red. All trace of friendliness with those girls was absolutely gone and she was one crocodile tear away from snapping Heather’s neck.

On the other side, Percy was frozen. A random girl he saw once every few days was hugging him as if he had just saved the whole city from freaking Voldemort or something. He didn’t hug her back though, he just set her legs down on the floor so he could stop carrying her. He looked up from where a wet puddle of tears was forming on his shoulder, and he locked eyes with his girlfriend.

The glare that he received from Annabeth was unlike any other. He could literally feel the rage going through her eyes, and for the nation’s own good, he quickly made sure to push Heather away.

“Wise girl, let’s take a few deep breaths before you shout at me, alright?” Percy attempted a joke, trying to wipe Annabeth’s anger from her eyes.

Annabeth wasn’t angry at Percy though, her patience had just completely run out after seeing both Heather’s and Charlotte’s clownery. She just wanted to give those girls a taste of what true jealousy was like. So she stood up and walked until she was standing in front of Percy. The other two girls were looking at Annabeth weirdly, wondering what was about to happen.

Annabeth put her arms around Percy’s neck, moved her fingers through his curls and leaned in, locking her lips with Percy’s and passionately kissing him. The green eyed teen was surprised to say the least, but he did not complain. Percy grabbed his girlfriend by the waist, pulled her in and they both kissed each other as if they were the only people in the room.

After some seconds, they both pulled back and Percy whispered, “Missed you, Wise Girl. Where were you today?”

“I was looking for you all morning-“ Annabeth replied, then started whispering “- but those two clowns wouldn’t stop bothering me the whole day” referring to Heather and Charlotte, who were staring at the couple in shock, whilst mumbling to each other and sharing looks. Annabeth overheard their conversation, she heard how Charlotte called her a “double-faced ho-bag” and how Heather was on the brink of tears, angrily wiping them away and sniffing. Trying to make a show, don’t even dare you bitch. So much for friendliness, Annabeth thought.

“You know what? Let’s get out of here, we can go grab lunch with Nico in the nearest Mcdonald’s” Percy proposed as he turned to look at the girls for a second. Then he started leading Annabeth towards the cafeteria, leaving the two girls behind, who were ranting to each other about the couple.

“Sounds like fun to me! Let’s get Nico and then I can tell you both about the outrageous things those girls have said to me in the timespan of less than 6 hours” The curly headed replied, shaking the murderous thoughts about the girls away from her head, she would have time to think about committing felonies later, not now.

“Can I get a teaser of what they said?”

“No, you gotta wait, Seaweed Brain!” The gray eyed girl said as she jokingly rolled her eyes.

“You’re rhyming,” He pointed out with a smirk.

Annabeth laughed, “Shut up!” She then linked her arm with Percy’s.

“C’mon, just a small teaser, please?” Percy practically begged, dragging the ‘e’ sound in ‘please’. And just for good measure, he gave Annabeth the sad puppy eyes look. He really was a total sucker for some hot goss.

“Alright! Alright, Let’s just say that Charlotte wanted to ask Nico for Homecoming… romantically”

“SHUT THE FU-”

[leovenuslatina]

Tryna get drunk and nasty? ⋆.˚ .𖥔˚

──★ ˙ ̟🍷 !!

THIS READING IS 18+ MDNI !!!!!

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

this reading is all about what kinks your FS might have

🍓

₊˚⊹ ᰔ౨ৎ₊this is just a reminder that tarot isn’t permanent or set in stone YOU decide how your life goes no one or nothing else now take a deep breath and choose the pile that calls to you ₊˚⊹ ᰔ౨ৎ₊˚⊹

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pile 1 - justice, queen of swords, king of wands

🪄

your FS is obsessed w eye contact while you ride him. while you suck him off. he wants you to look him right in his eyes. i pulled a lot of sword and wand energy so i’m getting he has a kink for watching you please him. he likes seeing you skin on his knob lmao. he thinks you look so pretty and perfect on your knees for him eyes tearing up and mascara running down your face just all fucked up on his dick. what it comes to pleasure he’s very equal he likes pleasing you as much as you please him. he may be a dom. liking to take control which makes a lot of sense with him liking to see you on your knees his favorite thing to do it tell you what to do. he may also have a slight pain kink he likes to spank you and choke you but i also think he may like pain inflicted on him he likes when you bite him and when your nails scratch down his back.

══════⊹⊱≼≽⊰⊹══════

pile 2 - the magician, judgment, the well

💤

pleasure kink and somno your FS he likes watching you moan and squirm for him. he likes when you’re moaning his name while he goes down on you. he loves making you finish on his fingers everything from the way you sound to the way your body reacts to his slightest touch is just magical to him. both his tongue and his fingers are extremely skillful making your body his playground. he also maybe into ddlg he really likes taking care of all your needs. he loves being the person you depend on for pleasures or just a nurturing touch.

══════⊹⊱≼≽⊰⊹══════

pile 3 - two of wands, page of swords, the empress

❣️

your FS has a breeding kink FOR SURE. he really likes the idea of finishing in you know that his seed will make you a big family. he also really like doggy doing you from behind and traveling his hands all over your body. he also may like doing you in front of a mirror watching him slide in and out of you and seeing your face is a huge ego boost for him. he likes being rough too he likes pulling your hair and pinning you down (all with you consent of course) and just having his way with you. he’s like really obsessed with your boobs and doing stuff with them lol use your imagination he definitely has a body worship kink your body is like a whole masterpiece to him. a masterpiece he can’t believe you allow him access to. 💭. also like you’re the prettiest girl in the world to him and i’m seeing he’ll try anything for you. 🥹

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for paid private readings dm me 💘

3 questions - $20

6 questions - $30

long channeled message - $90

plzzz no questions about health or death ☠️