#but then no one is

[deathlessathanasia]

What is your opinion about non-canonical ships involving Hera?

First of all, I'm really not a shipper, never have been, probably never will be. I feel about them the same way I feel about all Greek mythology made up ships, especially those involving the gods: I can't take them seriously, I don't care about them, I don't interact with them, that's not how I want to engage with these figures.

More to the point, I could probably take such ships more seriously if they didn't almost invariably involve:

1) Hera with someone who not only is one of Zeus's sexual partners, but is most famous for that and the child(ren) she bore to him: Because apparently not even when deviating so strongly from her traditional portrayal is she allowed to exist outside his influence.

2) Hera with someone she has no interactions and usually no direct connections with in either myth or cult (except, again, having slept with the same god in some cases): Hades, Prometheus (in the only account that presents a relationship between them they are mother and son), Maia, Metis, Hekate (in the only account that presents a relationship between them Angelos/Hekate is her daughter), Danae.

3) Hera with someone she hates or has mistreated: Leto, Io, Semele (don't look at me, I have seen it), Echo, Dionysos (just because Nonnos gave Pasithea different origins doesn't mean Hera and Dionysos fucked, ok?!, Herakles (yes she does come to love him eventually but she also adopts him and makes him her son-in-law!)

4) Hera with someone she does have some connections with in myth, cult or even both and with whom she is at least sometimes on good terms, but which… just make me uncomfortable for various reasons: Aphrodite (I can sorta see the appeal but she is involved with both of her sons!), Athena, Persephone, Artemis, Apollo, Thetis (if only there weren't the multiple references of Hera raising her…).

Anyways, the only one I'm willing to maybe, kinda, sorta accept is Hera-Iris, even though I'm really not into the whole master/servant dynamic, but you gotta love women being evil together and Iris in those accounts where she is Hera's underling is so very loyal to her. In a more crackshippy spirit, there are accounts (Epimenides quoted in Aelian's On Animals 12. 7, Pseudo-Plutarch's On Rivers 18.4) in which Selene creates the Nemean Lion as a favor for Hera: "They say that the Lion of Nemea fell from the moon. At any rate Epimenides also has these words : ‘For I am sprung from fair-tressed Selene the Moon, who in a fearful shudder shook off the savage lion in Nemea, and brought him forth at the bidding of Queen Hera.’"; "For Hera, wishing to punish Herakles, enlisted Selene as an accomplice. Selene using magic spells filled a chest with froth, from which a huge lion was born. Iris bound the lion with her own belt and took it to mount Opheltion." I don't ship it, there is nothing romantic about this whatsoever, but hey, at least Hera interacts with her which is more than can be said about half the ships people come up with.

Edit: I've only seen this maybe once, but I'd actually be kind of happy if more people shipped Hera (pre-marriage to Zeus I guess) with Imbrasos, the river of her island Samos. Or with Argive Inachos who as a river chose her to preside over Argolis (and as a mortal man was the first to offer sacrifice to Hera just as in another version it was his son Phoroneus who sacrificed to her for the first time)? Just imagine the drama especially in the accounts where Io is his daughter.

[this-is-a-podcast-fanblog]

"Kamala Harris raised 50+ million dollars after Biden dropped out!" you fools.... that's the money she got from selling Biden to One Direction :(

[queenoftheantz]

Here are my Dungeon meshi stickers! I basically thought "hey. lots of people will have cute food themed stickers. And that good and well, but I want that serious stuff too!" So I decided to make a series for the main gang based on sense of self instead!

[nikrei]

I keep seeing people use this image as a reaction to people's original posts:

Which I think is really incorrect, because with an original post they haven't come up to ur window, u've come up to their window.

So I made this, as a more accurate reaction for original posts:

[mangosteen]

[emeraldwhale]

while you were studying girls i was kissing the blade

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Knowledge Revenge.

[sheepydraws]

The secret Dungeon Meshi sauce that's getting people to eat better is that it's so non-judgmental. Senshi and the rest of the gang never talk about what not to eat besides things that taste bad and literal poison. They don't even talk about "health" that much besides the importance of a balanced diet. It's so much easier to eat well when you think of food simply as something your body needs, and that it's often worth the extra effort to make it taste good, especially when you understand how to connect "things your body needs" with "things that taste good"

[bonesandthebees]

one of the most infuriating things about becoming an adult is when you realize that it actually is 10x easier to solve problems by making a phone call vs literally any other communication method

[astronomalyy]

parenting

[totopopopo]

a good sumerian inexplicably donated five packs of 500 temporary tattoos to the classroom, each pack featuring identical pictures of a different invasive species of bug

[sunbentshadows]

Hey all, you know how internet searches suck now? When the results are awful, full-of-AI, death-of-the-internet levels of bad?

Start appending date constraints to your searches - "before:2023".

My results have gone from 90% AI bullshit to ~60% usable - which frankly at this point is a huge improvement.

[lotrmusical]

never let anyone tell you that trawling through mediocre victorian poetry isn't worth it. we just happened upon an absolute BANGER of a worm poem. go read it or else 🪱🪱🪱

[woolieshubris]

tumblr simulator

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[swan2swan]

Whoever conceived and animated this moment, I hope they're doing well and thriving. This is S-rank romance stuff here.