#but then my moms parents sit with me and my cousin and her bf??? like uhh. then my f*thers dad tried to make an escape

[lesbianstarlightglimmer]

Night

[zyafics-recs]

reblogging comment review from @zyafics

guess who has to be studying for another exam but instead she needs to catch up on this fic? (this girl) little annotations below ⬇️

Or the next. You couldn’t. Every time you picked up one of the stupid boxes, your heart would drop to the pits of hell and your hands would start sweating. You’d shove it back in the drawer like it could disappear if you just ignored it hard enough.

manifest it girlypop

What if it was positive? Then what? The thought of seeing his name pop up on your phone after you blocked him, or worse, hearing her voice if she picked up...you’d rather die. He didn't deserve to know.

i eat up any scenes where she wants nothing to do with him and he barges into her life and finds out all the things he's been missing out? the angst of not being able to go backward in time no matter how much you regret it

You heard that voice in your head, the one that sounded like your mom, at least what you remembered from watching old videos.

i would burst out in tears

Your younger cousin, Topper the bitching backstabber, had been born and raised in Los Angeles before he moved to Figure 8 when he was five. 

i was like why r we bringing up topper's bitch ass here and then i realized it to put in a frame of reference that she couldn't possibly know topper's birth bc he moved to kildare later. i just thought reader needed to put in a quick jab about topper 😭

You weren’t exactly the picture of health. What if you weren’t strong enough? What if something went wrong, and you ended up in a hospital bed, alone, because Rafe sure as fuck wouldn’t be there. It was just you.

i love the spiral of madness. i'm reading (and analyzing) it and i'm so so amazed by how ur structure descends. it flows so smoothly - from one topic to the next - all at a great pace and with a lot of internal turmoil. it builds up to me feeling everything reader feels.

It hit you just how ironic this was. You were sitting here, freaking out about being possibly pregnant, scrolling through nightmare stories about abortion and pregnancy complications, while Lily was talking about a fundraiser for children’s health. Kids. It felt like some twisted repulsive joke the universe was playing on you.

ugh, i love the parallels between her being (potentially) pregnant and the idea that she has to wrap her life around this foundation for children.

The fucking nerve. To your gala. Your blood boiled instantly, your fingers gripping the phone so tight you almost cracked the screen.

i love her i feel like she inches closer to insanity every day and i, too, feel the same

If Rafe wanted to play games, you’d ruin his life if you had to. He thought he could fuck you over, leave you with all this—leave you with nothing? No. You weren’t going to let him have that power.

like i said

You were shaking now, but it almost felt good. Even if it was just a stupid guest list. Let him find out when he got there and there was no table for him. No seat. No fucking room. 

BABES 😭 YOU'RE CARRYING HIS CHILD oh this is too good, the idea that she wants to erase him from her life and leave no space for him (mind), but her body is accommodating spacefor his child, making her reserve a permanent space for him in her life

Every year. He’d sit with you while you struggled through every word, telling you it was okay to take your time, reminding you that you didn’t have to do it if you didn’t want to. And when the gala came, he was always by your side, standing just off stage, waiting for you after the speech was done. You’d run into his arms, and he’d whisper that you 'did great baby', holding you until the room stopped spinning so much.

i fear i would crash out if i am currently stressed with the idea of being pregnant and remembering my ex bf and remembering my lost parents

If he thought you were weak, if he thought he could break you, if he thought you were the same girl who used to cling to him like he was the only thing keeping you together—he was wrong.You were going to do this without him.

my boss baby!!!

There was a sigh on the other end, the sound of him trying to not to lose his patentience, like he was the one in the right here. Typical Topper. Always wanting to smooth things over, play peacemaker between you and Rafe, like this was just another fight you’d get over.

topper, in the words of reader, a bitching BACKSTABBER

“Maybe what? That he could swoop in and save the day?” You let out a bitter laugh. “He’s not your golden boy, Top. He doesn’t fix anything. He ruins things.”

ugh i love ur dialogues sosososo much

You were having a meltdown, and he’d stepped in, like he always did when you went off the rails. That was the problem with him—he cared, even when you didn’t want him to. He was family, the only family you had left, and he was too loyal for his own good.

so fuck his parents then ig

You sat down, staring at the stick in your hand. This was insane. You were insane. Who the fuck took a pregnancy test ten minutes before they���re supposed to host a charity gala? 

apparently me

There it was.

+

💌 — aaaaaaaaaa, i'm so glad i waited until after my exam to read this and truly experience the gift of ur writing. i love the juxtaposition and parallels in this scene! especially with her deleting rafe from the gala's list, erasing space from him in her life, but having his child grow inside of her. i love love how she has to have a gala for children—and crippling over the current dilemma of whether she has a child herself. and i love that she's very isolated in a sense, because it amplifies how this child can truly make or break her. topper was so enjoyable—especially their conversation. u always write dialogues so smoothly!! honestly, i thought this scene would end with rafe showing up unannounced at the gala, haha but ig we'll see in next chapter

LOVED YOU AT YOUR WORST - r.c series - TWO

pairings: ex!sweethearts; rafe x thornton!reader; rafe x sofia. chapter warnings: mentions of possible pregnancy, of abortion, of pregnancy risks & death. self-loathing. chapter one

You lied.

You didn’t take the tests the next day.

Or the next. You couldn’t. Every time you picked up one of the stupid boxes, your heart would drop to the pits of hell and your hands would start sweating. You’d shove it back in the drawer like it could disappear if you just ignored it hard enough.

Once you knew, you knew. 

There was no more pretending as if nothing happened.

No more pretending like you didn't care that Rafe moved on like he didn’t just dump you, with no real closure and ran to the next girl he found. 

Fuck, why did he have to look so happy that night? He got to be carefree, living his perfect little life with her, and you were there, sitting on the bathroom floor, too scared to even pee on a stick.

What if it was positive? Then what? The thought of seeing his name pop up on your phone after you blocked him, or worse, hearing her voice if she picked up...you’d rather die. He didn't deserve to know.

He didn't deserve anything from you anymore.

You started googling abortion clinics before you even touched the tests. You could afford it. That wasn’t even the issue.

You had more money than you knew what to do with. Your inheritance was just sitting there. You could book a flight tomorrow, pay for whatever procedure, whatever it took—fly out of state, out of the country, if you had to. 

But that wasn’t the point. It has never been about the money. It was the overwhelming shame. The fear. The realization that Rafe might have left you, but he was still there, stuck in your head, in your body, in your fucking life. Even when he wasn’t.  

He didn’t have to worry about any of this. He was most likely out on the boat, not even thinking about you. Not thinking about what he did to you. 

And you— you were left with this. Sitting on a bathroom floor for hours a day, trying to figure out how you were supposed to make a decision that changed everything.

You started looking up clinics again, scrolling through the options, but your mind was barely even there. It was legal in North Carolina for now, but you read something about the 12-week ban they passed in June, and suddenly you were spiraling one more time, wondering how much time you even had. 

Could you wait? Could you put it off like you’d been putting off the tests, like if you waited long enough, maybe the problem would just... disappear? Shit, wouldn’t that be easier?

You heard that voice in your head, the one that sounded like your mom, at least what you remembered from watching old videos.

It was depressing how life didn’t let you hold tightly to your memories sometimes. She always reminded you of the kind of person you were supposed to be. The type of girl who had her shit together. The type of girl who didn’t get herself into situations like this, in the first place.

But instead, you were the girl who lost everything—the life you were supposed to have—and somehow, you’d still found a way to screw up what was left.

You kept scrolling like you couldn’t stop.

One page led to another, and soon you weren’t just looking up clinics—you were looking up everything. 

What happened during the procedure, how long it took, the side effects, the complications. You read horror stories about infections, about women who thought it was over and then bled for weeks, about people who changed their minds too late.

You even looked up what could happen if you didn’t get an abortion—what pregnancy could do to your body. And that was a whole other rabbit hole you didn’t need to go down. Your body changing, your hormones going insane. You thought about your boobs getting sore, your stomach stretching, the possibility of throwing up every morning, and it felt like your body was already betraying you. And then you read the serious stuff—gestational diabetes, preeclampsia, all these words you didn’t even know existed before that night. There was a minefield of things that could go wrong, things that would go wrong.

Complications. Risks. Dangers.

You read about women who almost died in labor. About miscarriages and stillbirths and the trauma of carrying a baby for months, only to lose it. You never even thought about that, how pregnancy wasn’t just this smooth, magical process people make it out to be. It was brutal. But you’d been the little sister, you never saw your mother go through it, or anyone for that matter.

Your younger cousin, Topper the bitching backstabber, had been born and raised in Los Angeles before he moved to Figure 8 when he was five. 

You were terrified—not just of being pregnant, but of what it meant to stay pregnant. Would your body even handle it? You’d always lived off coffee and takeout half the time. An unreasonable amout of parties. Too many drinks some nights.

You weren’t exactly the picture of health. What if you weren’t strong enough? What if something went wrong, and you ended up in a hospital bed, alone, because Rafe sure as fuck wouldn’t be there. It was just you.

For a second there, you thought you might pass out.

You’d thrown your phone across the room, it hit the wall with a thud, but it didn’t help. The anxiety was still there, vibrating under your skin, making you want to scream. You glanced at the bathroom drawer again, where the pregnancy tests were hidden like some cursed thing.

Maybe you should’ve just taken one.

Rip off the bandaid.

The stupid phone rang, like was having fun pissing you off, vibrating on the floor where you’d thrown it. You stared at it for a second, debating if you should even pick it up. You didn’t feel like dealing with anyone, especially not whoever was about to ask something from you.

But it kept ringing, and of course, it was a number you recognized—Lily, one of the coordinators from your dad’s foundation. Shit. You forgot about the gala. Again. The one that was happening in two freaking days, the one you haven’t even thought about preparing for.

You swiped to answer, “Yeah?”

“Hey, I didn’t want to bother you, but we need to go over the final details for the gala,” She greeted you, sounding way too perky for how you were feeling. “I really need your input on the seating arrangements, and the auction items, and—”

It hit you just how ironic this was. You were sitting here, freaking out about being possibly pregnant, scrolling through nightmare stories about abortion and pregnancy complications, while Lily was talking about a fundraiser for children’s health. Kids. It felt like some twisted repulsive joke the universe was playing on you.

You blinked back into the conversation, realizing she still talking, and you hadn’t said a word. “Uh, yeah, sorry. I’ve been busy. Can you just handle it?” you muttered, feeling guilty but not enough to actually deal with any of it.

“I’ve already taken care of most things,” she said carefully, “but we really need your approval on the final guest list and the speech. You’re the face of the foundation, after all.”

The face of the foundation. The legacy your dad left you. It was supposed to be this huge responsibility. And it was. You’d always taken it seriously. The one thing in your life you never ruined. But this year, you hadn’t written the speech yet. Jesus, you forgot it was even happening. And the guest list? No clue.

You rubbed your forehead, “I’ll look at it later. Just send it over.”

Lily hesitated again, probably sensing that something was off, you'd always been a control freak. “Okay, I’ll email it to you. Just let me know by tomorrow, alright?”

“Yeah, sure.”

You hung up before she could add anything else, staring at the ceiling. One more thing. One more responsibility piled on top of everything else. You were drowning in all these expectations—being the good daughter to dead parents, the responsible one, the perfect kook girl who was supposed to have everything. You were supposed to be the girl who had the trust fund, the perfect life, the foundation that helped kids in need.

You earned to be her.

Your phone buzzed again, this time with an email notification. You rolled your eyes, already knowing it was from Lily. She’d sent over the guest list, and you groaned, thinking you’d skim it, give it a half-assed glance, and send it back. But as you scrolled down the names, you stopped.

Rafe Cameron.

Of course, he was going to be there. Why wouldn’t he? His family had been involved in your dad’s foundation for years. It was like you couldn’t escape him.

The fucking nerve. To your gala. Your blood boiled instantly, your fingers gripping the phone so tight you almost cracked the screen.

Fuck him. 

If he thought he could just show up and rub his new life in your face, he had another thing coming. Without thinking twice, you deleted his name, erasing him like he didn’t even exist. And then, without checking another name, you sent the list back to Lily.

You didn’t give a shit if it was petty. You didn’t care if it wasn’t professional.

If Rafe wanted to play games, you’d ruin his life if you had to. He thought he could fuck you over, leave you with all this—leave you with nothing? No. You weren’t going to let him have that power.

Not over this. Not over you.

You were shaking now, but it almost felt good. Even if it was just a stupid guest list. Let him find out when he got there and there was no table for him. No seat. No fucking room. 

You still sat there staring at the screen with that stupid blinking cursor. The email from Lily sat open in front of you, and somewhere buried in the list of attachments was the speech. Blank.

Your speech—the one you were supposed to read at the gala in two days. The one you hadn’t even started writing.

This was always the hardest part. Writing it. Saying it. You used to cry every time. Standing in front of all those people, talking about your dad, your family, how the foundation was this beautiful way of keeping their memory alive. It was never just a speech—it was like ripping your heart out of your chest and letting everyone see it, year after year. It never got easier.

But Rafe, used to be there with you.

Every year. He’d sit with you while you struggled through every word, telling you it was okay to take your time, reminding you that you didn’t have to do it if you didn’t want to. And when the gala came, he was always by your side, standing just off stage, waiting for you after the speech was done. You’d run into his arms, and he’d whisper that you 'did great baby', holding you until the room stopped spinning so much.

You could still hear his voice in your head sometimes, 'you’re stronger than you think'.

That’s what he always said, even when you didn’t believe it. He’d hold you, kiss your forehead, and make you feel like it was true, like you really could get through it. He was always so sure of you. But this year? He wasn’t going to be there. He’d stop believing the lies he fed you. You were angry. You were seething. You were utterly alone.

You’d been avoiding this moment—writing.

This time around, it wasn’t just about the speech. It was about the fact that when you walked out of that stage, you wouldn’t have him waiting for you.

You’d step down into nothingness, with no one to catch you.

Your fingers hovered over the screen, but they wouldn’t move. What were you even supposed to say this year? How were you supposed to stand up in front of all those people and talk about love and family and legacy when yours was shattered?

You hated looking at yourself in the mirror, feeling like you’d lost every single piece of who you used to be.

Fuck the speech. Fuck the gala. Fuck Rafe Cameron and his stupid lies, his stupid smile, his stupid promises that he never kept.  

If he thought you were weak, if he thought he could break you, if he thought you were the same girl who used to cling to him like he was the only thing keeping you together—he was wrong.

You were going to do this without him.

You were going to stand up there and give that speech, no matter how much it hurt. And if it killed you, so be it. You’d still do it.

Because unlike him, you didn’t just walk away from the things that mattered. Even if it tore you apart. Even if it was killing you to keep pretending like you were fine. You weren’t fine. But you’d fake it. You’d fake it until the whole world believed it. 

You’d barely hit send on the email when your phone rang again, and this time it wasn’t Lily.

It was Topper. You hadn’t talked to him since that night—the night. The party where you’d found out, where you’d seen Rafe and Sofia together for the first time. Where you realized that everyone knew.

How he’d called Rafe over, like you needed him to fix it, like he was still yours to rely on.

“What?”

“Hey…” Topper’s voice was cautious, “I, uh, I wanted to call and apologize for the other night.”

You snorted, leaning your head back against the wall. “Yeah? For what part? For calling Rafe like his little bitch or for getting in front of my car when I was trying to leave?”

“I didn’t mean to fuck things up. I was just trying to stop you from doing something stupid.”

“Like what?” you snapped. “Leaving the party? Getting out of there before I had to watch him with her for one more second? Yeah, Top, real dumb of me.”

“You almost ran me over,” Topper shot back, his voice rising just a little, like he was offended you hadn’t mentioned that part. “Kinda felt like maybe you weren’t thinking straight.”

“You jumped in front of the car you fucking idiot. What the hell did you expect me to do? Slam on the brakes and listen to whatever bullshit you and Rafe had to say? Because trust me, ’m all out of patience for either of you.”

There was a sigh on the other end, the sound of him trying to not to lose his patentience, like he was the one in the right here. Typical Topper. Always wanting to smooth things over, play peacemaker between you and Rafe, like this was just another fight you’d get over.

He never really got it.

“Look,” Your cousin started, calmer this time, “I didn’t mean to call him. I just thought—”

“You always think calling him will fix things,” you cut in, “Like he’s the answer to every problem I have. He’s not. Not anymore.”

“I get that,” He added quickly, like he was afraid you’d hang up. “But I didn’t know what else to do! You were upset, and I thought maybe—”

“Maybe what? That he could swoop in and save the day?” You let out a bitter laugh. “He’s not your golden boy, Top. He doesn’t fix anything. He ruins things.”

Topper went quiet for a second, probably trying to figure out how to respond without setting you off on an angry rant again. “I get it,” he said finally, “You’re pissed at him. You have every right to be. But I didn’t call him to hurt you, okay? I was worried about you.”

You hated how genuine he sounded, hated that he meant well. He was a nuisance half of the time, sure, but he wasn’t malicious. He never was. He just had terrible judgment. 

“Next time, don’t,” you muttered, rubbing a hand over your face. “I don’t need you playing little brother and calling him when things go wrong."

“I wasn’t trying to clean anything up,” Topper explained, a little defensive now. “I just didn’t want you driving like that. You were upset.”

You rolled your eyes. “Upset doesn’t mean I need you or Rafe deciding what’s best for me. I’m not a kid.”

“You’re not,” he agreed, “But you weren’t exactly in a great headspace, so yeah, I stopped you. I wasn’t gonna let you leave like that and end up in a ditch somewhere.”

It hurt like a bitch, because deep down, you knew Topper had a point.

You were having a meltdown, and he’d stepped in, like he always did when you went off the rails. That was the problem with him—he cared, even when you didn’t want him to. He was family, the only family you had left, and he was too loyal for his own good.

“You could’ve told me,” you confessed what had been upsetting you, your voice losing some of its initial attitude. “About them. Instead of letting me walk into that party blind.”

Topper sighed again, “I should’ve,” he admitted. “I didn’t want you to find out like that. But it wasn’t my place to say anything. And I didn’t want to make things worse.”

Your hand instinctively moved to cup your stomach. You didn’t even realize you were doing it at first, but the second your fingers touched your shirt, the earlier panic welled up inside you again. If he only knew how bad things were. How bad they could get. You yanked your hand away like you’d been burned, heart hammering against your ribs most painfully. There was no way you could even begin to explain what was going on inside your head—or your body.

Not to Topper. Not to anyone. If he knew, he’d freak and you didn’t need that right now.

You clenched your jaw, pushing yourself to focus on the conversation, on Topper still yammering on about apologies and guilt You shook your head, a bitter smile tugging at your lips. 

“Are you even listening?”

“Unfortunately,” You sounded apathetic even to yourself, fingers tapping against the phone, agitated. “Look, Top, I don’t have time for this right now. I’m busy.”

He sighed. “I know you’re pissed, okay? I get it. But the gala’s in, like, two days. You... you still going, right?”

“Of course I’m going,” you scowled, barely able to hide the bitterness in your voice. “I have to. It’s not like I can just dip out and pretend it’s not happening.”

Unlike some people, you thought, but you bit your tongue.

“Good, because I’ll be there too. And I—”

“Oh, joy,” you interrupted, “Another chance for you to babysit me and make sure I don’t make a scene? Can’t wait.”

“Jesus, I’m just trying to help!” Topper groaned. “I didn’t want to make things worse the other night. I—”

“Yeah. Whatever, I’ll see you at the gala.”

You hung up. You didn’t have the patience to deal with him right now. 

The day of the gala came faster than you thought it would.

It was like you blinked, and suddenly, you were standing in the middle of the venue, walking through final checks with Lily, nodding along as she rattled off details you barely absorbed.

The room was all glitz and glamour, with chandeliers dripping from the ceiling, and everything draped in the foundation’s signature gold and white. 

Crisp tablecloths. Flowers in perfect, elegant arrangements. Waiters in black-tie uniforms were circulating, making sure everything looked flawless. Flawless.

That word made you want to gag.

You moved through the space like a ghost, smiling at the right moments, giving half-hearted approvals when needed.  You didn’t care. People were running around, asking for your opinion on this or that. You’d stayed at the venue longer than planned, making sure everything was in order, but your mind was stuck in that floating-place. You wanted to burn the whole thing down, if you were being honest.

You should’ve called your doctor. Days ago. Hell, maybe weeks ago.

Making smart choices wasn’t your thing lately, was it?

When you finally slipped into the room where they’d set up your glam team, you just wanted to sleep. The room itself was a suite off to the side of the venue, a private space meant to make you feel like royalty.

A massive mirror ran across one wall, surrounded by soft, glowing lights. A table was set up with everything—hair tools, makeup brushes, palettes, serums. Bottles of champagne sat chilled in the corner, the condensation dripping down the glass, untouched. It was the kind of place you were supposed to feel special in.

Normally you did. But this year you were numb.

The stylist worked quietly on your hair, soft curls falling into place as she tugged and pinned each section with meticulous care. The makeup artist was dabbing foundation onto your skin, blending and contouring until you didn’t even recognize yourself in the mirror. The dress hung behind you, a shimmering white gown, custom-designed by Versace for the occasion.

You looked like you were stepping into one of those perfect, glamorous lives. But on the inside, you felt like you were going to lose it at any second. You nodded along, giving tight-lipped smiles when they complimented you, and then they finally left.

The room was dead silent now, just you and your reflection. You stood in front of the mirror, staring at yourself, the perfect curls, the glowy skin, the gown waiting behind you. It all felt wrong. It felt fake. You didn’t bear a resemblance to yourself.

You looked like the version of you that the world expected—the untouchable girl. A doll.

Your rifled through your bag for your phone, but instead, your fingers brushed something else. Cold, hard. 

You hadn’t even realized it was in there.

One of the pregnancy tests. You must’ve thrown it in without thinking earlier that morning when you were rushing out the door. You hadn’t even noticed it until now.

What the fuck were you doing?

You had a gala to host in less than an hour. People were going to be looking at you, waiting for you to give the speech, expecting you to hold everything together like always. And there you were, standing in a private dressing room, about to do something so monumentally stupid. Maybe it was the pressure of tonight, or maybe it was the anger you’d been shoving down for weeks, but suddenly, you didn’t care.

You were going to do it.

Without even thinking, you stormed into the bathroom. You were so fucking tired of avoiding this. Tired of pretending like everything was fine, like you were fine.

What the hell was fine about any of this? You tore open the box, hands trembling as you pulled out the test. The room was so quiet, you could hear every little sound—your breath still uneven, the rustle of your dress against the tiles, the click of the test cap as you flicked it off.

You sat down, staring at the stick in your hand. This was insane. You were insane. Who the fuck took a pregnancy test ten minutes before they’re supposed to host a charity gala? 

You couldn’t get a proper breath out as you waited, heart pounding so hard it felt like it might rip your chest open. You leaned against the sink, gripping the edge. Your stomach churned, the nausea rising again, and you had to close your eyes to stop the floor from spinning.

What if it was positive? What if it wasn’t?

You stared at the test, willing the result to appear, but it didn’t. Not yet. The little window stayed blank, as if taunting you, making you feel like you were losing your mind. You knew you had to wait longer. You weren’t stupid. You’d read those instructions a million times by now, but you hated waiting.

Hated not knowing.

You couldn’t take your eyes off the stupid little piece of plastic. Just one line or two. That was all it came down to. One fucking line or two, and your entire life would either fall apart or what? Be fine?

You glanced at the mirror, catching another glimpse of yourself, and it almost startled you—your eyes were wild. Desperate. They were the eyes of someone who was just about ready to do anything to get this over with. 

You tried to picture telling him again, but the idea alone made you sick. You thought of Sofia, of her perfect smile next to his, and bile rose in your throat. Your hands never stopped shaking. You wanted to run. You wanted to throw that thing in the garbage can and never stare at it again.

Your thoughts spun in circles, going nowhere, just making everything worse. The clock on your phone ticked louder and louder, and you knew—somewhere out there, everyone was getting ready. Guests were arriving. The gala would start soon, and they’d all be waiting for you. Watching you. Expecting you to be the poised, perfect version of yourself you’d spent your whole life pretending to be.

And you were in here, trying not to lose your fucking mind.

You peeked back at it. Still nothing.

No line. No answer.

It felt like you were suspended in time. You closed your eyes, gripping the sink harder, praying for it to end—something to happen, anything.

Then finally, you felt it in your chest—a heavy, sinking feeling, like the moment before a fall.

You opened your eyes. 

There it was.

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[smutbymia]

hiiii can i request a smut with ex bf turned fwb jaehyun where he still loves y/n thats why he agreed on that setup but he gets y/n pregnant along the way djsjajhaa thank youuu it could be fluffy at the end thankbyooouu ❤️

You pushed through the front doors of a restaurant bar, scanning the space for your high school friends. It had been a few years since you first graduated and even though you kept in touch with them it wasn’t easy for all of you to meet up due to your busy schedules. 

You saw a few hands waving you down from across the room and walked over, smiling. 

“Great, you all got here at the same time,” said your friend Lia. You were confused at her comment until you turned around, only to see that there was a group of guys behind you that had entered just after you did. And one of the boys in that group happened to be someone you were very familiar with. 

Going to an all-girls school was supposed to help you focus more on your studies and have less distractions but that was all useless considering the fact that there was an all boys school right across the street. You remembered the days when droves of school kids would hang around the entrances trying their best to look nonchalant while they whispered amongst their friends about the boys that they found attractive until it was time to head home for the day. 

Most didn’t dare approach the opposite sex on the other side of the street,  except Lia’s cousin Johnny happened to be a student at the boys school and so he would often use “picking her up from school” as an excuse to hang around the front gates of the girls academy. Lia’s parents traveled a lot for work and so during the school year aside from some weekends, she would stay with Johnny, her aunt, and uncle since her family home was in the next town over. 

That was what led you to meeting your ex-boyfriend Jaehyun. He was handsome and cute all in one and even back then the girls would drool over him, however he was extremely unapproachable in the eyes of many. The day you met, you had gone to the convenience store near school with Lia. The two of you sat outside on top of one of the tables with your legs outstretched as you typically did. Lia was ranting about a drama she had been watching and eating ice cream and you were scribbling clothing designs in the mini sketchbook that you always carried around when Johnny turned the corner with a group of his friends following closely behind.

“Look who it is,” he said as he threw his backpack onto the empty benches you rested your feet on. The rest of his friends followed suit throwing their bags as you and Lia shrieked, lifting your legs out of the way just in time as they made their way into the convenience store. Except one boy walked calmly towards the door, dropping his bag on the table next to you without even looking up once from the book he carried in his hand. 

That day they hung around eating snacks and causing a ruckus but Jaehyun was very easy going. You couldn’t help but steal glances at him as he ran his fingers through his hair and skimmed through his textbook which happened to be about computer programming. He suddenly glanced up and realized the two of you were the only ones sitting around the table while Lia and the other boys all fooled around nearby, gaming on their phones and dribbling around a basketball. 

He yawned and shut his book as he leaned forward on the table, eyes glued on yours as you felt heat rush to your cheeks.

“What are you doing?” he questioned, gesturing towards your sketchpad. 

“D-drawing,” you stammered embarrassingly. The corner of his mouth raised into a gentle smirk as he caught onto the nervousness in your tone of voice. He scooted over next to you and you could feel the air leave your lungs. 

Just as he leaned over to peak at what you were drawing, you slammed the sketch book shut, not wanting him to see the sketch you had drawn of him reading.

“Are they... naughty drawings?” he teased.

“No, no of course not. Not at all!” you protested getting more and more embarrassed by the way he smiled at you. You slipped the sketchpad into your bag, and got up from your spot next to him. You turned to Lia.

“It’s getting late, I should go,” you said to her. She instinctively started to collect her belongings too but Johnny stopped him. 

“Jaehyun lives on her street so he can take her. I need you to come with me to the store. Mom’s birthday is this weekend and I have no clue what to get her,” he whined. Before you could get a word in, the group had split and gone their separate ways leaving the two of you alone. 

Living on the same street is what brought you closer. Jaehyun started walking you home whenever you happened to hang out with Johnny and his friends and the two of you would sometime stop on the way home for bubble tea, or at stationary shops when you needed art supplies. Eventually he started meeting you at the end of your street each morning before school and even on the weekends at the park in your neighbourhood. Eventually the two of you started to secretly date and were known as the “it” couple between the all boys and all girl school once your secret got out just before graduation.

You maintained the relationship through your last summer before going your separate ways once university started. You still remembered sharing so many of your firsts with Jaehyun. Your first date, your first relationship and your first kiss. 

And now here he was years later sitting across from you like he did back in high school. It would have been awkward had your friends slowed down with the drinking. Instead, after a few short chats about what everyone was up to and a bunch of shots later they were all stumbling out into cabs or moaning at the table about missing each other. 

You and Jaehyun had always been the tame ones out of the bunch so the two of you took turns getting the remainder of your friends into cabs until it was just the two of you left. You stood outside the bar with him after getting Johnny into the last cab and sending him off. Jaehyun sighed as he stood next to you on the sidewalk. 

“They’re such a handful,” he complained. You chuckled softly in agreement. 

“Yeah, they totally sobered me up,” you whined, “what a waste.”

“Well it wouldn’t be fair for us to go home sober, would it?” he asked with that same mischievous smirk he always pulled out. 

That led to the two of you going to the nearest convenience store which coincidentally happened to be the one near your old schools, taking shots of soju outside on the dining tables. The two of you reminisced, while avoiding the topic of your former romance until you both decided it was time to head home.

Both of your families had moved from your old neighbourhood but you did still live nearby after finishing school. Jaehyun offered to walk you home despite your refusals. He insisted. And of course, as if it was planned by the Gods themselves, just as you arrived it started to rain. You knew it would be rude to leave him drunk and alone to hail a cab and so you reluctantly invited him into your place to wait until the rain eased up a bit more. 

A mixture of the alcohol and the tension between the two of you that had been building all night led to you pressed against the door of your apartment which you locked behind you, and Jaehyun hovering in front of your face. 

“W-we shouldn’t right?” he started in a whisper, “because...” 

His arms gripped your waist and you watched as he tried to focus on thinking coherently instead of letting the alcohol scramble his brain as his eyes scanned yours for a reaction. It looked like he needed you to finish the sentence because he was struggling to find a good reason as to why he should stop himself from taking your right there in the entrance of your place. 

You couldn’t lie to yourself. You were dying to get a taste of him. He had matured nicely, his muscular frame filling out his clothing. You ran hands over his arms, 

“Fuck it, J-just this once,” you said quietly as you trailed your hands up to his neck and drew him in for a kiss. You could feel Jaehyun relax in your embrace as his lips met yours softly. There was no urgency in his actions. He parted his lips and slipped his tongue into your mouth, deepening the kiss. He kissed you like he had been yearning to do so. 

As much as the romantic mood touched your heart, you needed more to be satisfied and so you took it upon yourself to intensify things. You captured his bottom lip between your teeth and tugged softly. You caught him by surprise as he momentarily opened his eyes. You could see his gaze transform into something a little darker before trailing kisses down his neck. Jaehyuns breathing grew heavy as he flattened the palm of his hand against the door behind you to steady himself. He pushed his hips forward, letting you feel how excited he was, drawing a low moan from his lips. 

“Bed,” you gasped as Jaehyun let his hands wander across your body gripping your ass and making their way back up as he explored every curve he could reach, “now. Before we do anything else, I need you in my bed.”

Jaehyun smirked at the desperation in your voice as you two rushed to kick off your shoes. You walked briskly through your apartment towards your bedroom. Jaehyun however lingered, taking in the space, stopping to look at artwork on the walls and look at photo frames. 

“Jae,” you whined as you paused at your doorway, frustrated that he wasn’t right behind you. Jaehyuns heart fluttered from hearing the nickname you called him after such a long time as he put down a frame he had in his hands. 

He laughed as he approached you, leaning down to plant a soft kiss on your lips before catching himself. He stood tall again, letting out a deep breath.

“Sorry,” he said as he stepped into your room, lifting his shirt above his head and turning back around to face you. You stood frozen taking in his muscular frame with your mouth frozen in a gasp. 

“You- you really matured well,” you said as you crossed the room to place your hands on his chest. His dimples became visible as he moved to stand behind you. He lifted your shirt over your head and unclasped your bra from behind, looking over your shoulder down your chest as the garment fell to the ground to expose your bare chest. He wrapped his hands around your body, squeezing at the soft flesh as he trailed kisses down your neck and pressed himself against your behind. You gasped softly at the way his fingers ran back and forth over your nipples, sending electricity racing through your body, letting your head fall back to rest on his chest. 

Jaheyun moved his hands down your stomach until he reached the waistband of your jeans, undoing the button and lowering the zipper, not waiting any longer. He slipped his hand into your underwear, dipping his digits between your folds as you cried out his name in satisfaction from finally being touched. 

You gripped his thigh behind you, steadying yourself as you shifted your legs to open them up wider in order to give him more access to your core. You could feel your knees buckled as he drew circles under the hood of you folds directly over your clit. Jaehyun adjusted his grip on your body, holding you up when he realized you were growing weak under his touch. He was impressed at your ability to hold back your pleasure.

“That’s my good girl. You’re doing so well. I need you nice and wet,” he cooed as the sound of your wetness echoed with every occasional dip of his fingers towards your entrance before he drew your juices back up to wet your sensitive bud. 

“I can’t last much longer,” you whined. Jaehyun slowed the assault on your clit and instead flattened his hand between your legs, gripping your entire core without moving as he allowed you to regain your composure. You couldn’t help yourself as you slowly rutted against his hand. He chucked softly behind you. 

“Hey, don’t cum yet,” he whined back as he squeezed at your center, slowing your ruts and making your mind go fuzzy, “I want to feel you first.” 

You couldn’t believe this was the same sweet but mischievous boy you had known for so long. He slipped his hand back out from between your legs and pulled your pants down from over your hips until you had undressed entirely. He motioned for you to get on the bed as you watched him undress, pumping his length between his fist as he hovered over you. 

You sat up on your legs, spreading them as you reached for him wanting to take him into your mouth. Jaehyun stood rested a knee on the bed as he stood, letting you lick softly at the head of his dick as he grunted, just as you covered it with your mouth and felt him jerk forward into you. You whimpered softly feeling him push himself back and forth over your tongue as you hollowed out your cheeks and pumped along his shaft. He grew harder with every stroke until he couldn’t take it anymore and gripped your chin as he slid himself out from between your lips. 

“Fuck,” he gasped as he let himself fall onto the bed beside you, propped up by only his elbows. You took the opportunity to climb on top of him, straddling his hips as you hovered above him, dropping your head down to kiss him and silently guiding him to lay down. 

He ran his hand down your sides and over your back as you felt him fumble with himself before positioning himself at your entrance, letting you sink down onto him. The sound the two of you made as your bodies connected at their cores had you whimpering along with the sensation of being filled up completely. 

Jaehyun brushed a strand of hair behind your ear as he gripped at your face, cursing as you took more and more of him into you. 

“Are you sure you can take it all?” he murmured, planting kisses across your cheeks. You nodded shakily, focusing as you felt your abdomen grow tighter the further you sunk down, feeling as though you were running out of space until you felt your rear end finally make contact with his balls. You let out a shriek as Jaehyun let out a dreamy moan, head falling back into the pillows as you settled comfortably around him. 

“Shit, that feels so amazing,” he whimpered. You planted your hands firmly on his chest, sitting up and rotating your hips slowly on top of him as you adjusted to his size. Curse words fell from his lips as he gripped at your hips, slowly and gently fucking up into you every time you circled your waist. 

His thrusts grew more frantic as you started to lift yourself with each rotation of your hips, letting yourself slam back down into his thrusts. The two of you grunted, quickening the pace. As you both grew more desperate, Jaehyun repositioned himself, wrapping his entire arm around your waist as he propped himself up with the other so that he was in a seated position. He bent his knees slightly, planting soles of his feet against the mattress to steady the both of you as he used his strength to jerk his hips right up into your opening so you didn’t have to exert as much energy, and allowing him to control the pace. 

The combination of his thrusts along with the way your clit conveniently brushed against his his lower abdomen sent you into a spiral. You fell apart instantaneously. The feeling of your body clenching around him had Jaehyun releasing himself into you as your name spilled from his lips. The two of you could only keep your eyes open long enough to clean yourselves up a bit before you both fell asleep in your bed. 

The next morning wasn’t awkward at all, thankfully. The two of you woke up and showered, and decided to go out for some coffee and breakfast at a nearby cafe before taking a walk at a park near your place. The conversation was easy. It was officially the weekend and so neither of you were preoccupied with many other responsibilities. Despite the very intimate sex, things otherwise seemed normal. 

“I should probably go back to my place,” Jaehyun said as he gestured towards his clothing. You had already spent a few hours together and had totally forgotten about the fact that he was still wearing last nights clothes. 

“Oh... shit, yeah. I lost track of time,” you said sheepishly. He smiled sweetly. 

“Me too,” he responded hesitating before continuing, “about last night...”

You could feel heat spread across your cheeks. 

“Don’t worry. It was nothing,” you said quickly out of embarassment. 

Jaehyun looked perplexed, then a bit frustrated. You knew him well enough to know that you had ticked him off. Just as he opened his mouth to tell you off, you interrupted him.

“Wait, no! What I meant to say was that it was amazing but I also totally understand that it was a spur of the moment thing,” you said as you grabbed one of his hands to grasp in between yours.

Jaehyun nodded, letting out a sigh and trying not to let the disappointment show too much on his face. 

“Text me so I know you got home safe,” he said as he removed his hand from your grasp. You nodded, and said your goodbyes as the two of you went your separate ways. 

You’d be lying if you said you weren’t thinking about that night since it happened. A week had gone by and even though you and Jaehyun kept in loose and casual contact through text, you still couldn’t stop thinking about him. You couldn’t satisfy yourself either. Nothing felt quite as satisfying as his touch and it was starting to wind you up. 

You were getting ready for Johnny’s birthday party when there was a knock at your door that you weren’t expecting. 

“Oh, hey...” you said. 

You were very surprised to find Jaehyun standing on the other side. He already smelled of alcohol but didn’t seem to be too wasted. 

“Sorry I was going to call but my phone died when I was out with my coworkers,” he mumbled, “do you mind?”

He held his phone up and you stepped aside, letting him enter your apartment and lending him your phone charger.  He was also going to Johnny’s place later for his party in a few hours and according to him he was in the area. He sat quietly in the living room for most of the time. As you were finishing up your makeup, he knocked softly on the bathroom door. 

“What’s up?” you asked in a monotone voice as he opened the door. You were focused on your own reflection applying your mascara. 

“Hey, do you have anything to drink? I think the party already started and everyone already started drinking so I thought it would be a good idea to start now so that we could catch up,” he said as he scrolled through his phone texting what was most likely the boys’ group chat. 

“Yeah, check the cabinet above the fridge,” you said. Jaehyun hovered in the doorway watching you for a moment.

“Is everything okay? I spoke with Lia earlier. She said you’ve been a little... bratty this week,” he said. You turned to glare at him but he raised his eyebrows, challenging you to kick an attitude with him. If there was anyone who didn’t tolerate your moodiness it was Jaehyun. 

“Did something happen?” he asked. You shook your head no. 

“I don’t know I just feel a little.. tense, I guess. It will pass,” you mumbled as you touched up your lipstick in the mirror next. 

Jaehyun stepped behind you, catching off guard. He stood close to you as he locked eyes with you in the mirror. You watched as his hands disappeared behind you before you felt him pull the zipper of your dress up. You had forgotten to do it up earlier when you first put it on. 

“Maybe drinking will help. C’mon,” he started as he took the lipstick from between your fingers and closed the lid before resting it on your counter and pulling you out of the bathroom, “you already look perfect.” 

The two of you took a few shots in your kitchen. The alcohol did help a bit but not entirely. You rotated your head, stretching your neck out as you sighed deeply. Jaehyun was buzzed and in a much better mood than you were, he knocked back another drink before moving behind you and massaging at your neck. 

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong now?” he asked. You took a deep breath as his fingers worked against your skin and you leaned back just slightly into him, closing your eyes. 

You shook your head. He continued to massage out the kinks in your neck as he watched the tension slowly slip away from your face, smiling. It wasn’t until you started to let soft moans slip from your mouth that he froze momentarily. 

“Jae, don’t stop,” you whimpered, “please.” 

He felt himself harden just from the tone of your voice. He had to catch himself when he found himself instinctively leaning down towards your neck to drag his tongue across your skin. 

Your eyes fluttered open as you craned your neck to look up at him, wondering why he had stopped his massage. His eyes were glazed over and you felt that tension ease its way back. 

“O-one more time” you whispered. 

“What?” he question, not understanding what you were referring to. 

“For fucks sake, Jae!” you groaned. Turning around and pull him closer to you as your lips hovered in front of his.

“I can’t be drunk around you like this without caving and literally nothing satisfies me anymore after last week so let’s do this one last time and then you have to promise not to come back here again,” you said, words spilling uncontrollably for your mouth as you began unbuttoning his shirt.

He stopped you, gripping your hands. 

“Wait, is that what’s been bothering you all week? You needed sex?” he asked, baffled. You felt your cheeks heat up, suddenly feeling a bit ashamed. 

“Y/n... look at me,” he said as you lifted your gaze to meet his. He slipped his index finger under your chin. 

“If that’s all that you need to feel better then you know you can call me anytime, right?” he said, smirking. His heart tensed up a bit when he put the offer on the table. You nodded, head spinning from the alcohol. 

“Alright, we’re already late,” he said as he abruptly lifted you up onto the kitchen counter behind you and hiked up your dress, slipping your thong down past your ankles and discarding it onto the floor.

He pulled your mouth to his, not wasting time letting his tongue massage into your mouth as he let his fingers work at your clit the way he knew would have you dripping in just a few seconds. He unzipped his pants, pushing them down just far enough for him to free himself. He was already hard enough to push into you, slipping easily through your folds and deep into your entrance. He drew a high pitched moan from your lips as he thrusted into you quickly. 

Even though it was much easier to take him this time, you still were very taken aback by the way he made you feel so full. 

“Anytime you want, anywhere you want,” he grunted as he slammed his hips forward, palming your breasts through your silk mini dress, “And however you want! I’ll take care of you” 

You felt a weeks worth of frustration build up in your core as you felt your orgasm approach you. You gasped for air, slapping your hands against his shoulder to get him to slow down as you pleaded, “f-from behind. I need you from behind, please!”

Jaehyun didn’t miss a beat. He lifted you off of the counter before slipping himself out of you just long enough to turn you over and bend you over the same counter before snapping his hips back into you again. 

“Harder,” you begged and he complied. You felt him tighten his grip around your waist and rope his fingers into your hair as he jerked his hips forward, not slowing as you came, soaking him from the inside. You screamed out his name as he kept up his pace. 

“Be a good girl and hold on a little longer, okay? I’m almost there,” he said through gritted teeth. Every thrust left you tingling as your walls squeezed around his cock, just as you felt him release into you and collapse onto your back as he caught his breath. Your moment of bliss was interrupted by the ringing of Jaehyun’s phone. 

“Shit, our uber is here,” he chuckled. The two of you cleaned up as quickly as you could before heading out to the party. You touched up your hair and makeup in the car, cursing Jaehyun for ruining your hard work even though he insisted that you looked totally fine. 

That was the beginning of what became a really rewarding arrangement. Jaehyun kept his promise. He would come by your place after work some days, and did a great job of keeping you satisfied, going down on you in the middle of netflix marathons or fucking you against the wall of your shower. He even picked you up from your office, slipping his fingers into your undies and making you cum on his fingers behind tinted windows in the middle of traffic. The best days were the ones where he would sleep over at your place. It was nearly impossible to have a bad day when it started off on such a positive note and there was a noticeable shift in your mood. Until... something happened. 

Your vision was blurred by your tears, as you swiped at your eyes. You desperately wished that you were dreaming. You stared at the pregnancy test you held between your fingers as you sat on your couch sobbing at the results. You had really fucked up this time. All the constant running around and travelling between your place and Jaehyun’s had caused you to accidentally forget to take your pill one day. You had gotten back on schedule but it was too late. The test in your hand proved that it was a big enough mistake for you to end up pregnant. 

You were so shaken up that you called out of work for a week very suddenly. You ignored calls from everyone, including Jaehyun and even lied to Lia about being under the weather to keep everyone from reaching out. Jaehyun kept his distance at first. You both had kept your arrangement secret from your friends and so he wasn’t exactly in a position where he could ask around too much about you. After not hearing back from you after a few days he couldn’t take it anymore and showed up at your doorstep. 

“Y/n,” he pleaded through the door, “don’t do this to me. I know you’re in there. Just let me in so I can at least see if you’re alright.” 

You hesitated before opening the door. He stormed in right away. 

“What the HELL has been going on? You know how worried I’ve been?” he asked. He was raging. You knew ignoring him would most likely lead to such a reaction but you could barely cope with your current situation. 

“I can’t even ask your friends about you because you wanted to keep this a secret. Why haven’t you at least aswered my texts? Even Johnny hasn’t mentioned anything. I’ve been losing my mind trying to get a hold of you,” he scolded. 

You sat next to him on your couch before bursting into tears, sobbing your eyes out. Jaehyun was so startled he immediately moved from his seat to crouch down in front of you. 

“Oh my God, y/n,” he said, reaching out to hold your hands, “What’s wrong? You know you can trust me with anything. Whatever it is, I’ll --” 

You interrupted him, “I’m such an idiot. I thought it would be okay but I missed a day and now - now i-- i’m so so so sorry” you sobbed. 

“What... what do you mean?” he asked, confused. 

You took a shaky breath before whispering, “I’m pregnant.” 

The silence in the room was deafening. Jaehyun had all but collapsed to the ground into a seated position, breathing deeply. 

“Oh, thank GOD,” he said when he finally found the words to speak. 

You couldn’t even believe what you were hearing. 

“So you’re okay then? Oh, thank God,” he said as he let out a sigh of relief. 

“N-no, i’m not okay Jae!” you yelled, tears filling your eyes, “I don’t know what to do, I-i don’t know if I can be a mom! We were supposed to just be messing around... why aren’t you freaking out.”

Jaehyun’s heart sank and you watched tears fill his eyes next. 

“Aren’t you scared too?” you asked him as you broke down, sitting in front of him on the floor. 

“Actually... I-i’m really happy, y/n,” he began, getting choked up.

You threw yourself into his arms. “I’m sorry. I know you’re just saying the right thing. Neither of us planned on this happening. I’m just in shock,” you said. 

Jaehyun wrapped his arms around you, stroking your shoulder as you rested your head against his chest. 

“I’m really excited to be a dad. If you want to go through this, at least,” he said. His words resonated with you deeply and for the first time you imagined what it would be like. 

“Do you... really want to do this? I just feel awful. It’s all my fault” you whispered.  

“Listen to me, y/n,” he said. You nodded, trying your best to look strong as you wiped tears from your eyes. 

“I’m having a baby with the love of my life! I think this might be the best day of my life,” he said as he flashed a dimpled smile. 

Your mouth fell open at his sudden confession. 

“Oh please, don’t act all surprised,” Jaheyun said as he sprinkled kisses over your face, making you laugh for the first time in days.  

“I love you too, Jae. You’re going to be the best dad,” you said as he violently attacked your face with affection. 

He froze, holding your face between his hands. 

“Does that mean we’re really doing this?” he asked excitedly. You nodded your head, smiling back at him. 

“I hope it’s a girl,” he blurted out. You both bursted out into laughter before he continued quietly, “... and then two more boys, then another girl, and then...” 

“Oh my God, Jae...” you groaned as you swatted at his chest. 

He reached out to run his fingers across your belly though it was way too early for you to show. 

“Sorry, I just can’t believe I really did this. Filled you up so much that I actually get to have a little one,” he muttered as his hands started to wander again. 

You felt your body heat up as he closed the gap between the two of you on the floor and drew you in for a deep kiss. 

“This is exactly what got us into this mess in the first place,” you joked. 

“Yeah well since we’re already here we may as well make the most of it for the rest our lives, right mama?” he said sweetly. 

And as expected, Jaehyun kept his promise. He stood proudly by your side through everything from telling your friends, to breaking the news to your families. As days went on you became increasingly excited about the future and felt so lucky to have ended up in such an interesting situation with the perfect man. 

[beermanoftana]

fluttering [sonny carisi]

relationship: sonny carisi x reader

warnings: mistakes here and there, i have never been married

requested by: anon

notes: hello dear anon! okay, so last non-confident fic, i swear. i may have focused on y/n a bit too much but i swear the latter parts are really cute. i think. if you don’t like it, please tell me so i know what i can work on! thank you!

summary: you didn’t see y/n y/l/n. you saw y/n carisi.

It was a big day. The big day. As in, the wedding day. Your wedding day, to be exact. It was the start of a new life for you.

And hell were you never so nervous your whole life.

It wasn't a bad kind of nervousness. It was a good one. You were going to marry the love of your life! You've been waiting for this!

Sure, you were a little younger than him, and maybe some people would say that you don't deserve such a man, but that didn't matter. Okay, that’s a lie, maybe it did to you. But not to Sonny. He loved you, and you knew that.

You got out of bed and didn't bother looking at yourself in the mirror. You were going to get fixed later anyway. As you were about to turn the knob of your door, you realized your hand was shaking.

"It's going to be okay," you whispered. "It's going to be okay."

When you've calmed, you opened the door and headed down the stairs. For the wedding, you decided to stay at your parents' home. It would look nice in the photos. And really, you loved them.

You entered the kitchen and saw everyone hustling and bustling around. Your parents were walking around and your older brother was eating cereal, his back hunched as he dug his spoon inside the bowl to eat.

Your mom had her cellphone in hand, dialing some numbers and muttering words you couldn't hear, while your dad was trying his best to keep her calm.

Sitting in front of your brother and getting some cereals from the box he left on the table, you asked, "What's up?"

He swallowed. "Mom's been contacting everyone. Camera crew, caterer, gown maker, Church, the works," he answered with a shrug. "Don't ask me why."

You nodded and looked at her. She was fiddling with her phone while your dad looked at her, exasperated. "Mom," you called. "What's wrong?"

She looked at you, surprised. "Oh, honey!" She walked to you and gave you a kiss on your forehead. "I didn't realize you've come down already. Are you okay?"

"Of course," you said, half-lying. "Y/br/n said that you were calling the works."

"Yes, I was," she admitted.

You smiled. "Mom, thank you for your help but you know that's my job, right?"

She smiled softly. "I know, dear. And I know Sonny and his family are also doing their part. I just want to help."

You stood up and hugged her. "And you are, Mom. Let me help then."

Your dad kissed your Temple and said, "You'll need it, y/m/n.”

“But I want her to relax. She’s been overworked the past months,” your mother replied. “Let her have the day.”

“You've been overworking yourself the whole morning."

You blinked and looked at your brother's food. "What time is it?"

"It's ten," your brother replied.

You cursed. "I should be getting ready now, shouldn't I? I'll be using the bathtub." You excused yourself but your dad pulled you back. "Dad."

"Eat," he said. "You still have time."

Later, you really did have to clean yourself up. As you lay inside the tub, you began to ponder.

Sonny loved you. But what if he sees that you're not fit to be his wife? Or he gets bored with you and looks for someone else? Or maybe he…

You shook your head. "Stop thinking that, y/n," you muttered bitterly. "He won't do that. He's not doing that. He loves you for goodness sake."

Bringing your legs up to your chest, you rested your chin on your knees and sighed. "This is going to be a long life." But one that you wouldn't regret.

A knock on the door woke you from your thoughts. "Y/n?" you heard your mother call. "It's almost time to get ready. The cameras and make-up artist will be here soon."

"I'm almost done!" you told her, trying to reach your voice to the other side of the door. "Just need some rinsing!"

"I'll be waiting, dear." You could practically hear her smile. And that made you smile. You were so happy to have your family's full support. You were a very lucky lady.

After your relaxing bath, you quickly dried yourself and dressed into a simple sleeveless shirt and shorts, and you topped it off with a white robe. Your vanity was cleared for the bright lights that the make-up artist would be bringing, and the chair that came with the wood furniture was put aside for the coming director's chair.

You felt those butterflies in your stomach.

You sat on your bed and stared at the floor. Stop overthinking.

"Y/n, Ms. Harrison is here." The make-up artist. "You ready?"

You stood up and fixed the ribbon of your robe. You took a deep breath and exhaled through your lips slowly. "Ready!"

The door opened and in came your mother, Ms. Harrison, and two others, a man and a woman. "Ms. Y/l/n! Hello!" Ms. Harrison greeted. "The future Mrs….?"

"Carisi." And you felt yourself grinning from ear to ear.

"And it suits you perfectly!" she cooed. Her male companion unfolded a director's chair while the female readied the cases. "Sit, sit," she ushered.

You lifted yourself and tried to get comfortable on the chair. "Anything I have to do?" you asked, unsure.

Your mother brought in the photographer and videographer and another lady who introduced herself as the director.

"Just relax, honey," the male companion told her. "We'll do all the work."

And so, the magic began. Your hair was pulled up in a big bun with a variety of flowers, all in perfect sizes, inserted into it. A few strands of your hair on the right side of your forehead were curved to the side, making an effect similar to loose hair. Your make-up wasn't overdone, as you have requested.

The camera crew headed out as you fit into your wedding dress. It was an off-shoulder, white dress, with a snowflake design that covered your cleavage. There were tiny snowflakes embroidered after one-fourth of the skirt until the hem.

People would be wondering why the theme of the wedding was baby blue and white with a hint of light gray, especially on a day like March 15.

But they wouldn't know, not until later.

When everything was done, you looked at yourself in the mirror. You didn't see Y/n Y/l/n. You saw Y/n Carisi. And you knew then, nothing will stop you from marrying him. You weren't scared anymore, not nervous. 

You were ready.

Finally, it was your turn to walk down the aisle. A veil that reached up to your neck covered your face. You giggled at the thought that you were nervous about the fabric ruining your hair.

The infamous song played and you began the long, agonizing march to the front. You had your eyes set on Sonny as you walked in synchronization with your parents, both your arms hooked to either one.

You reached the front and Sonny kissed your mom's cheek and shook your dad's hand. He offered his arm to you and you both walked up the steps to the middle.

"Hi," he greeted with a smile.

"Hey," you returned.

You could tell he was nervous, and even if you said you wouldn't be any longer, the butterflies fluttered in your stomach.

"You can back out anytime," you murmured.

"And miss being your devoted husband?" he chuckled softly as you reached your seats. "I don't think so."

And an hour later, you both said the words you've been longing to say.

“I do.”

“I do.”

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride."

Cheers erupted in the Church as Sonny lifted the veil aside and leaned down to give you a chaste kiss. You were now officially Mrs. Carisi. And God did you love it.

The reception was filled with dances and laughter. Carisi's cousin, Kris, had been the best man and your best friend, y/bf/n, was your maid of honor. They both said their speeches and then it was yours and Sonny's turn to greet the guests.

"Thank you so much," Sonny started, "for those who came to celebrate this beautiful day with us. Y/n and I are so happy and blessed to share this special day with you.

"Kris and Y/bf/n had already given a few details of Y/n's and my love story. Yes, we met during the winter season, and it was snowing a bit. We met because we were both following a snowflake that was falling. Y/n loved snowflakes and I was dazed as I was on my way home from a hard day's work. Our eyes met and she smiled at me.

"We talked a bit, had some coffee together, but we parted ways without further contact. I was really disappointed but I had a feeling inside me that I would be meeting her again.

"Two months have passed Kris invited me to this gathering, where it turns out he's friends with Y/bf/n and she brought Y/n. Of course, I immediately tried to get her attention and it worked after three agonizing hours."

"You were trying too hard," you joked. People laughed.

"At least I was trying. Unlike someone who was trying to play hard to get." People laughed some more. "And I started falling for her from then on." He shrugged. "Now I'm stuck with her." Then he looked at you with a smile. "Forever."

The crowd began to tink their wine glasses with their utensils. "Kiss!" they chanted. "Kiss! Kiss!"

Sonny raised his arms. "Let's not disappoint."

You rolled your eyes and leaned forward. The guests giggled and cooed. "You better not disappoint me," you whispered. "Because I promise to never disappoint you."

"I'll never disappoint you," he said. "Never."

When the night was done, you and Sonny were breathless from the loving activity you had just done.

"You're really good at this," you said.

He smirked. "Only because I'm with the one I want to do it with."

"You are so corny." You stuck out your tongue.

He leaned down and kissed you. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

"Stay with me."

"I will," you said. "I'm yours."

"And I'm yours." He kissed your forehead. "’Til forever and a day."

tagging: i have no idea

[starrynima]

history modc: episode six

favourite moments

this episode was a roller coaster ride and i have sO much to talk about

so umm... lusun fucked in the gym bathroom. i don’t know what else to say lmao

boxiang whispering i love you was good™

n e ways, we continue on with the bike date that kinda turned into a stargazing date which is fine with me (sorry the pic is blurry af my internet is dying)

they stopped at an overlooking of the city and haoting sets up these lights and honestly i cry because when will i ever have a good bf like that

then they start talking and xigu shares how he likes to talk to the stars because he thinks his parents are there somewhere with the stars and it’s so private and intimate

they’ve come so far from being enemies to becoming two people who trust each other so much i wANT TO CRY

then he asks haoting if he believes and haoting holds his hands and says “i believe you” and my heart just bursts with joy

xigu: i’m gonna study the stars” haoting: that’s zoology (lmao dw guys he’s still a dumbass)

haoting saying he wants to work hard and study in the same department as xigu

surprise cheek kiss + another soft kiss

also this shot of them looking at the stars together is so fucking beautiful and perfect. we all know the confrontation with haoting’s parents later in the episode is gonna happen and this scene was basically them telling xigu’s parents about them (the history writers went off on this scene and gave us this amazing symbolism)

yooo haoting got second place in school!! i can’t believe xianggu are really THAT couple that are respectively the 1st and 2nd place. what a power couple.

haoting’s thank you speech summed up: “yu xigu”

lmao xigu walked in on the squad trying to strip boxiang but he doesn’t even look shocked

then he questions them and haoting is all like “yeah! wtf are you guys doing?” as if he wasn’t the one who told the squad to start stripping boxiang eye-

the look of betrayal

and ya’ll!! xigu and and haoting are the type of couple that holds hands and ditches their friends hahahaha

okay ya’ll know what happens next so let’s break it down to my favourite little moments even though the whole thing is amazing in it’s own right (get ready for A LOT of screenshots)

the FIRST thing that xigu does when haoting sits on top of him is caress haoting’s thigh and leave his hand on haoting’s waist aaaaAAAAHHH

“ i really wanted to kiss you just know.” he made his intentions clear and gave xigu a moment to decide

the way xigu looked up and down at him before kissing haoting first made me SCREAM tF (seriously though, i love that in their very first ‘intense’ kiss, xigu was the one to kiss first)

ya’ll the smiles in between the kisses *chef’s kiss*

xigu sitting up while haoting sits on his lap as they make out?? sign me tf up

ya’ll can you believe haoting is a power bottom and xigu is a soft top (if u disagree fight me) (jk i’m weak)

the way haoting stopped and pulled away to let xigu know with his eyes that he wanted to do more and then xigu started unbuttoning haoting’s shirt

xigu feeling up haoting’s pecs. what a mood.

THIS SCREENSHOT IS GOLD and is haoting’s mom’s pov lmao + the shoulderrrr

the way haoting jumped on the defense for xigu when his dad was busy screaming

also haoting being mad about his dad saying that liking boys is shameless and not normal. thAT’S MY BABY.

i interrupt the angsty bullet points to let ya’ll know that when boxiang’s cousin was spraying zhigang with his water bottle, i spent a good five minutes giggling about it

he hella salty that they fucked in his gym’s bathroom and honestly if i were him, i would be salty too

also him, showing up at zhigang’s store, to give condoms hahahHAHAHA

and when a customer arrived, zhigang hid the condoms so fucking fast lol

now let’s commence with the angst

it’s not really a fav moment per say as it did make me cry so bad (i always say i’m crying but this time, i had legit tears streaming down my face) but can we talk about haoting and how amazing he is and how in love he really is

“call out and stop him and tell him ‘don’t be scared, i’m right here.’ but i couldn’t” this line really hit me and the way his voice cracked made my heart crack

and the sister just wiping his tears and being there for him. like she knew she couldn’t really fix the problem as it’s obviously not up to her so instead she sat there and listened to him and made sure that he knew someone was on his side ugh they really are sibling goals

haoting hesitating on saying “i can say i don’t love him” because he does love him and saying he doesn’t is hard

also him breaking down at the thought of xigu giving up on them

can i just point out that song weien’s performance in this was so good and hella heartbreaking

and of course, last but not the least, xigu showing up at haoting’s house to declare that he is not giving up on them. i talked about this scene on this post and shared my kind of analysis

in conclusion: i love love love this episode with all my heart

[nearlynoticed]

I've been doing some reflecting and processing over some things that are weird to me. I love my parents and I certainly didn't have a "bad" childhood, but as I get older (and- let's be honest- quarantine has both given me time to reflect and really just amped up all the mental issues) there are some things that bother me... (Incomplete just what's popped in my mind this morning.)

I'm 26 and still do not have a driver's license. My 25 year old brother got his at 23 I believe. My 21 year old brother doesn't have his yet, nor my 17 year old sister. The other is 14 currently, but I'm sure as heck the pattern will continue. I used to think I was the fuck up big sister who failed at being the good example this time. Aunts made fun of me when my cousin who is 10 years younger than me got his. But my dad never made time to help any of us learn (now he's addicted to drugs and that's been the trouble for brother number 2 for this year at least) and my mother would have anxiety the moment we pulled out of the driveway and start screaming. I live in a city with good transport now so I don't need to drive, but I get so anxious now just sitting behind the wheel let alone doing anything. Even if we had help learning, we couldn't forget for a second that there was no money for insurance or cars anyway, if we asked to go driving my mom would mention it. I could only get a job close enough to walk to and my $7.25 would go back to them

And the not driving? That kept us from doing anything. We'd go to school and come back. I can count on one hand the amount of times I went out with friends as a teen. I never went to any parties, movies or anything.

Which is one thing, but a whole different beast when I also could not have anyone else over to my house. My mom wouldn't allow it. Some kid come over and see her "messy" house? Her "junky" old furniture??? She couldn't handle it. Sometimes she'd agree, but there's be a weeklong freak out before the set date (could only ever be done in advance) we'd deep clean everything, but the worst was hearing her complain about it. SHE EVEN DOES THIS WITH OUT OWN FAMILY, just mutters that she wishes the wouldn't come. Like God this didn't dawn on me how much this affected me but damn

I wouldn't say mom is OCD per se, but she does have her own set of obsessions and compulsions. There are certain lights in the house that make her irrationally upset?? All of us kids actually preferred those lights because we could see better for doing homework at the table etc, but she'd storm in yelling and turn the lights off in the middle of whatever we were doing, and switch to some dim lighting that "doesn't show your finger prints on everything"

My mom comes from a crazy religious background. If we went to visit her family I had to wear only long skirts/dresses, long sleeves, no jewelry, no makeup, no haircuts. She was so worried about what her family would say about her and her kids. We had to put on this charade. I was 16 when I got on Facebook in 2010 and my mom had one too, but she was afraid of people finding me and thinking she had raised some godless heathen whore with pierced ears. I was 18 when I got my first hair cut.

"You hate me?" Oh fuck this one should have been painfully obvious from the start but it didn't click until my bf said something like this semi-jokingly and I started tearing up and then I realized how often my mom did this. (I told the boy to not do this again btw) see also "you don't love me?' "I'm a bad mother" "I can't do anything right" and various things about going to hell. It was half her controlling my behavior and half her putting me in control of her mental and emotional health.

My mom had five kids. Even though she was a stay at home mom still had some parentification issues as the eldest daughter. They literally called me "mini mom". Free built in babysitter (now my baby sister babysits other people's kids for money but I never got to do that because I was busy watching them lol) I had to be the one to give siblings the sex talk, and tell my sister's about periods. It was talking to my brothers' teachers about their grades. It was my mom making me straight up do projects for my autism spectrum brother because it was easier than her sitting down and helping him. It's " can you talk to your brother. He's been graduated for two years and doesn't know what to do " "Maybe you can talk to D and figure out what's going on with him" Its me living ten states away and feeling guilty that I've abandoned them.

I was literally such a good kid never gave anyone trouble but mom still snooped through my room and DUG THROUGH MY TRASH. Mom also hated closed doors.

Now that my dad's addicted to meth and my parents are divorcing they did this thing where they started by hiding everything from me since I'm far away, then dumped it all on me at once, then started treating me like their therapist!!!!!!!!!

My dad was more absent and working so a lot of this is directed at my mom. I love her and understand that her childhood was actual hell. But these things still got me fucked up and I'm trying to o put in work to make sure I don't perpetuate anything!

[kayliemusing]

12

How long until your birthday?: 3 months

Do you have any relatives in the military currently?: No

Who got married at the last wedding you went to?: My cousin

Are you better at math or art?: I wasn’t particularly good at either lol. Art was more relaxing even though I knew I wasn’t good at it. I hated math.

Science or History?: History.

Who was your 4th grade teacher?: Mrs Brander, and she was such a hard ass.

Who was your best friend in 7th grade?: Erika

Where did you go to pre-school, if you went at all?: To the collicutt center. It was like a recreational center so it had the gym, dance classes, swimming pool, etc.

Who was the last person to call you?: My mom

What’s your favorite brand of gum?: I like Juicy Fruit, although it doesn’t last very long. I don’t chew a lot of gum because it always makes me hungry.

Do you own a digital camera?: No

How old is the cellphone you have right now?: Not that old. I have the iPhone 11 Pro. I’m not sure when it came out though. Only a couple years I think?

Do you know anyone named Tyler?: Yes

Are both your parents still living?: No, just one.

What was the last thing you bought?: I think it was McDonalds from skip the dishes haha

Can you do a handstand?: No.

How many funerals have you been to in your lifetime?: Three, I think.

Have you ever had a pet fish?: Yes

Are you taller than your mom?: No.

Are you confused?: Most of the time

Whats on your wish list for your birthday?: I don’t really know. I guess some makeup from colourpop would be nice. 

Does the future make you more nervous or excited?: More like crippling fear of being a failure and never amounting to anything and being stuck in a job i hate and living an unfulfilled life and having never reached my potential and living in low income housing where i have an ugly kitchen that hasn’t been updated since the 70s and i never achieved any of my dreams, and then i watch as everyone goes on and lives fabulous lives because they were smart and hardworking but i just could never rise to my full potential. 

Something you hate more than anything?: my sister’s bf/soon to be ex-bf. also kanye west.

Did you kiss or hug anyone today?: no

Do you like surprises?: I like really good surprises, but I don’t like feeling shocked. The only downside with surprises is you can get so excited that after it’s over and you’re not excited anymore, it’s like you get a drop in adrenaline and then you get sad or tired after.

Do you think people have any misconceptions about you?: Oh yeah

Do you miss someone?: Yes

Would you move to another state or country to be with the one you love?: I think if I felt that was the right thing to do, then yes.

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?: No, I just think we learn to thrive in spite of it and good can come from it.

Which one of your friends do you think would make the best doctor?: I’m not really friends with her anymore, but mackenzie would have been a good doctor if she wanted to be.

What’s your most favorite scar?: I don’t have cool scars, just lame ones from thinking I was cool as a kid and crashing my bike and falling into a pit of wounded pride and humilation.

When was the last time you flew in a plane?: I’ve actually never been on a plane.

What did the last text message say that you received?: My sister telling me that she’s pretty sure she has ADHD which I can confirm just by being around her lol. 

How many kids do you wanna have?: I’ve always felt 3, but I don’t even know if I’ll have kids or get married. I’m not opposed to kids, but I’m also okay if I never have them.

Would you make a good parent?: I think so. I had great parents so I’m sure I would be fine. I suck in the cooking category though lol.

Where was your default picture taken?: My tumblr blogs are all pics of Taylor Swift lol, but on my facebook it’s a selfie I took of myself at my dining room table.

Honestly, whats on your mind right now?: I just feel really tired and bummed. I’m always stressed about how much work I’m not getting done, but when I go to write something down I just get overwhelmed or I don’t know what to say or I don’t have any ideas. I wrote something a few nights ago I was proud of so I think I’m getting better at forcing it out of me and shoving the doubts behind me, but they’re there and they’re rampant some days. Lately, I’m just worried about not rising into my potential and always sitting beneath it and never achieving my goals and dreams. 

Do you wear contact lenses or glasses?: Both! It depends on the look I’m going for that day. I like wearing my glasses because it’s less hassle and more comfortable on my eyes, but especially because of masks right now, I like to wear my contacts so I don’t have to deal with my breath fogging them up or if I love my eye makeup/am wearing fake lashes.

When is the last time you received a massage? About a year and a half ago. I never actually went for a full massage, but I had a facial and part of the facial was a leg and foot massage which we beautiful.

Who made you cry?: Recently, my managers when they indirectly accused me of stealing (they said I look suspicious??) from the tills which was totally absurd and I felt kind of betrayed by them in a way that they would think I could do something like that, especially after I’ve been two years of my life to this company.

What was the last tv show you watched? Honestly, I think it was Spongebob lol. It was on tv a few days ago so I watched it. What are your plans for tomorrow?: I need to clean my bathroom really badly lol. I think my mom wants to open her gifts early tomorrow (she’s a christmas baby) so we’re probably going to do that and then at 3:30 I have to work.

[sk8terzz]

OK WAIT VAMPIRE AU AND IM LIVING FOR IT i have a shit ton of headcanons so,,,

here’s a quick summary

Humans hunt vampires and they’re often outcased/killed, although there’s been more recently since they’re learning from a young age to disguise themselves and can now hide their teeth.

also there's a couple types of vampires: some who melt in sun but have wings and can eat normal diets and those who don’t melt in sun, don’t have wings and need a little bit of blood in their diets (but it can be from like,, animals. It doesn’t have to be humans)

the vampires who melt in the sun (ILL CALL EM MELTY BOYS) are super rare so unless stated otherwise, whenever i say “X is a vampire” i'm referring to the not melty ones with no wings

setting/time/almost everything is the same. They are just. Vampires. (THEY LOOK DIFFERENTS TOO SFBDJHG)

also ships include: adrinette/ladynoir, djwifi, julerose, kimax, myvan, nathaniel/marc (I FORGOT THEIR SHIP NAME) and chlolix (chloe/alix)

You can send me ask if you want more details on certain things but yeah

if that interest you there’s more stuff under the cut

here’s what everyone is because its easier

Marinette: vampire *MELTY BOY

Adrien: vampire *MELTY BOY

Nino: human

Alya: half vampire thing?? Idk it just feels right *the sun hurts her skin a little, and she has little wings*

Chloe: vampire

Sabrina: human

Alix: vampire

Kim: human

Max: human

Rose: human

Juleka: vampire *MELTY BOY

Nathaniel: human

Lila: human

Mylene: human

Ivan: vampire

Everyone else is a human except for marc, nathalie and adrien’s mom *MELTY BOY

- marinette feels rlly bad about being a vampire (ALSO she a melty one)

- “TIKKI IM A VAMPIRE BRO I CANT BE LADYBUG”

- can go in the sun for about a minutes before it begins to really hurt so being ladybug isn’t awful cause she can hide in the shade most of the time

- ALWAYS HAS A SUN CAP ON (when she’s marinette) she just wants to be in the sun bro

- some guys start a theory that ladybug’s a vampire and she’s SCREAMING LIKE BRO HOW DO THEY KNOW but it was a joke

- alya is like,, super weird about vampires cause she was taught her whole life to hate vampires by nora because she thinks they’re super dangerous

- at first alya’s like “yeah suck it vampires” and then she learns she’s actually half vampire and she’s kinda like

- “fuck”

- almost rejects the miraculous lb gave her cause she was like “no im kinda vampire”

- but lb just goes “yeah me too so what”

- ALYA FREAKS SHE’S LIKE FUCK YEAH VAMP GANG

- nino’s super chill with her being a vampire!! he finds it rlly cool lol

i feel like i could go into more detail about their relationship but That’s Another Story For Another Day

- adrien kinda hates being a vampire (esp a melty one) and hides it from everyone but plagg

- his dad would kill him for being a vampire because then his son wouldn’t be perfect and that’s not good enough

- felix figures out he’s a vampire but doesn’t tell anyone

- felix isn’t a fan of vampires but respects his cousin and keeps his secret

- hiding his wings is so annoying like??? He wraps them around his body and wears a cap all the time is the WORST

- also same thing as lb he can go in the sun for about a minute as chat noir before he begins to melt

- again i can go into more detail about chat noir/ladybug and marinette/adrien but im trying to keep this kinda short

- CHLOE OH GOD chloe is so scared

- don’t get me wrong she still is mean and petty but she’s really scared someone will find out shes a vampire

- and someone does

- BUT ITS ALIX AND SHES ALSO A VAMPIRE LMAO

- alix is super chill with chloe and is like “hey man i know ur a vampire but i am too”

- after this they both end up getting feeling for each other lol

- THEY BE DATING but that’s a secret

- chloe’s mom knows she’s a vampire because she saw her fangs when she was born which is part of the reason she doesn’t like chloe

- in this au audrey never warms up to chloe instead chloe learns to not give a shit about what her mom thinks (with the help of marinette and ladybug) and tells her off before her mom leaves for new york

- her mom still keeps the fact that chloe’s a vampire a secret from everyone tho

- cause outing someone as a vampire is actually so low that even thought like yeah,, not everyone likes vampires but like no one’s gonna like u either bc you outed them on something so personal and something they trusted you with

- sabrina doesn’t care if chloe’s a vampire she still really cares about her

- but sabrina wouldn’t like it if anyone else was a vampire

- also another thing about chloe she tends to act like she hates vampires to avoid detecting from the Vamp Police 

- ig the vamp police is like sabrina’s dad who really hates vampires and actively looks for them (which is part of the reason sabrina isn’t a big fan of vampires either.)

- they’re not called the vamp police it’s just the police but i like saying that

- like i said before alix is Vampire and basically learns who’s a vampire in the class super quickly

- she knows what to look for when someone’s hiding their identity and knows she’s not the only vampire in the class

- she also figures out everyone’s super hero identities (which is why she gets the rabbit miraculous)

- max knows from stats that it’s likely that there's a couple people in the class who are vampires

- KIM DIDN’T ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT A VAMPIRE WAS BECAUSE HIS FAMILY THOUGHT IT WOULD SCARE HIM SO THEY NEVER TOLD HIM LMAO

- max had to teach him (with the help of alix) what a vampire was but it took like an hour

- the only reason kim actually learned something is because his boyfriend told him that if he paid super close attention (after running through the whole presentation like 3 times) he would give him a smooch

- after that kim grew a big brain and learned everything

- both of their parents and ondine would be super accepting if they were vampires tho

- but they’re both human

- also a little more lore its not biological if you’re a vampire or not it’s purely chance

- Its kinda like being born lgbt ig

- ALSO EVERYONE IS SOME FORM OF LGBT but i have my own hc for that

- lgbt vampires are incredibly oppressed like they can’t go out into the street *pensive*

- ANYWAYS juleka is a melty vampire and rose is a human

- rose’s family is super into hunting vampires 

- rose invited her gf over for a family dinner and the whole time they talked about killing vampires

- juleka doesn’t hate being a vampire and thinks it’s really cool

- SO SHE DRESSES LIKE A VAMPIRE???

- rose had marinette design juleka a sun hat similar to hers because juleka kept forgetting she melts in the sun and went out in it more times then she should’ve

- juleka’s a little bit more outgoing in this au and drops hints that she’s a vampire because she thinks it’s Epic

- rose has to remind her that not everyone thinks it’s epic

- nathaniel is really passionate about vampires and wants to learn more about them

- HE POPPED OFF HARD WHEN HE LEARNED HIS BOYFRIEND’S A VAMPIRE

- nathaniel is so supportive of marc it’s rlly cute

- he has to stop himself from mentioning his bf’s a vampire bc he remembers not everyone thinks it’s as cool as he does

- marc loves that nathaniel is so supportive

- when he first saw nathaniel drawing the class of vampires he just went “fuck he’s the one”

- 100% nathaniel draws marc looking super vampire during class

- i’m just now thinking of akuma’s but like here’s kinda how it would work

- They’re basically the same as they were before (being all evil and shit,, basically the same powers) but i think there would be some story changes??

- lady wifi would be less concerned with lb’s identity and more with if she’s a vampire or not because the cause of her akuma would be her theorizing if lb’s a vamp or not

- causing chloe to make fun of her and say stuff like “cool people can’t be vampires they’re stupid and serve no purpose in life”

- lady wifi doesn’t manage to rip of either lb’s mask for her fake teeth because the costume change also adds fake human teeth to replace the real ones (and you can’t take them off like the mask)

- but lady wifi doesn’t know this so she assumes lb’s not a vampire which she’s disappointed with but alya doesn’t remember this

- BUT the media and chat noir think that she’s not a vampire

- reflekta’s design is a little different but that’s about it

- The change with lady wifi is the only akuma i can think about rn but if i do more headcanons about this i might go more into detail on stuff like that

- CHAT BLANC IS ALSO DIFFERENT

- the build up to the akumatisation is basically the same but adrien realises that lb is marinette and also a melty vampire cause he she’s her melt a little when she leaves the room

- after marinette breaks up with adrien he runs in and transforms 

- after the reveal of adrien’s mom and stuff adrien reveals his wings and tries to kill is dad

- gabriel is disgusted by his son and tells him how disappointed his mother would be

- then chat gets akumatized and stuff

- instead of hitting the moon he’d hit the sun so that he didn’t need to struggle with being a vampire anymore

- he sucks the life out of hawkmoth and claims that he and lb can be together now that there’s no daylight but she says she can live like this which is when he kills her and goes on a murder spree

- then he just sits atop the eiffel tower in complete darkness until past lb shows up with bunnyx and she fixes everything

- his motives are more about disappointing his mother this time and being ashamed about being a vampire

- and also that his wish would be to make it so nobody is a vampire so people wouldn't have to feel ashamed about their identity and hide it all the time

- lb teaches him to love himself and his identity as a vampire and how proud his mother would’ve been of him

- ok enough about chat blanc 

- lila is a human and she acts like she loves vampires 

- but she actually hates them

- she’s super touchy with adrien and he’s even more uncomfortable now cause he knows she’s lying and would hate him when she found his wings

- all the vampires have seen this act before and tell their s/o’s so basically everyone’s against lila except for like maybe sabrina

- no one thinks she’s cool because i hate her

- she still lies about going on rides with prince ali and other stuff 

- WOULD TOTALLY OUT SOMEONE AS A VAMPIRE

- absolute jerk

- her family is known for hunting vampires but she claims she’s different

- ok but ivan is just a sweet vampire trying to keep his identity a secret and mylene is just his support human gf who loves him just the way he is

- ivan doesn’t hate being a vampire but also doesn’t like it cause he’s worried that everyone will say stuff like “i bet you’re a vampire” “you’re a villain and you’re cruel, just like vampires” and other stupid stuff

- he is just a soft man

- MYLENE DEFENDS HIM WITH HER LIFE

- mylene thinks him being a vampire is super cool!!

- they kiss a lot and ivan is worried he’ll bite her but she’s ok with it

- sometimes ivan wishes he was a melty vampire so he could wrap his wings around mylene to cuddle her and stuff

- they are v cute valid couple

- gabriel knows nathalie is a vampire and she knows he knows but neither of them make comments on it

- nathalie does really like vampires and doesnt mind being one herself

- she knows adrien’s a vampire and helps him hide it

- his father likes to know everything about adrien so he tried leaving cups with blood in them in his room to see if he would drink them

- and if he did cause he didn’t know his father was testing him nathalie would just refill them

- she starts keeping blood around the house and gabriel assumes it’s just for her cause he isn’t educated and doesn’t know the difference between rare vamps and the common vamps

- but it’s for adrien

- ALSO LIKE LAST ONE BUT one time lb and chat went out at night to hunt for blood cause they were thirsty but they ran into each other and it was rlly awkward

- but they’re both rlly oblivious and convince each other that they were out for a nightly stroll cause they couldnt sleep

[secludedmoonnn]

The past 2 days haven’t been the best. I’ve been feeling really depressed and I’ve been finding it hard to redirect my thoughts when they become negative. All I have wanted to do is sleep and do nothing. But I have been forcing myself to get up and do my daily “chores”. Make my bed, tidy my room, etc etc. I even got myself to do the kitty litter, completely clean my room and do all my laundry. Towels and bedding included. It was a little rough as my body and brain were against it, but I pushed through. I even put away all the laundry immediately, instead of having it sit in baskets for 2 weeks! But besides all of that, I spent some time hanging out with Rachel yesterday and played some Animal Crossing. They also updated the game a little early, so now we can swim in the ocean!

My aunt and cousins were in town, so we went and visited them. My aunt has been doing really good! She recently finished her chemo sessions and got to ring the bell! 🥰 I also got to see little Karson and Theo! I also visited with Krystal quite a bit and found out that Theo’s dad has been cheating on her their entire relationship of 7 years. She hasn’t been doing well, but she’s doing better than I expected. Me and Kiana are trying to convince her to move to Wdmonton, as it would give her so many more opportunities for Theo and his schooling, as well as her and finding a job, as well as being able to go out and do something. She would also have her siblings here, as well as me, Kiana and my mom. I’m hoping she actually thinks about it. The only reason she moved back to her hometown was for her mom, and as of late, they’ve been going to the lake lot a lot, so she barely sees her parents. I got to meet Cassidy’s new bf, and he seems sooooo sweet and good for her. Her past bf’s haven’t been the best and I haven’t really liked them lol. It was really nice being able to see my family. I told Krystal about us, and she was in complete shock and felt really bad, but I told her that I’m doing okay. I mean, there have been some really rough fucking days, but I got through them. I also gave some advice to her, and told her some things that really helped me. She was super upset because she has been so dependent on Brandon for so long and she’s scared to be alone. And I pretty much told her that she’s gotta do shit for her, stop focusing on him, and try to redirect her energy into things that’ll make her happy and things that’ll help her grow as a person. I just feel kinda bad for Theo in this situation. They’ve been fighting and angry with each other for most of Theo’s life. And with Brandon having a new gf while they are still living together is a little messed up, and I just feel really bad for the little guy rn. Krystal is super depressed and doesn’t play with him as much as she should. I’m hoping these 2 weeks away will help her realize what she needs to do. Both for herself and for Theo.

But besides that, Tuna’s harness came in and she doesn’t hate it! (Pink is so her colour btw lol) So now I can make an appointment at the vet so I can get all her shots updated, as well as get her cough checked out! I also have to go to AMA and DynaLife tomorrow. So I’m trying to keep busy and keep doing things that I need to do for myself. I’m hoping that I can just get my learners card again, and not have to retake the test, but I guess we will see! I just want to try and focus on learning how to drive this summer. I have it as one of my main goals, besides getting my health in check. I still have to go to the dentist to get my teeth cleaned and cavities filled, I’m just scared cause it’s gonna be PRICEY. I’ll just have to go and get things done with months in between appointments, that way I can afford it lol.

I’ve been trying to do lots and not let myself cave into these negative emotions, into my depression, and I’m quite proud of myself. In the past, I don’t think I would have been strong enough to do it. But I am now, and I am so damn proud. I’m so proud of every little thing I’ve been slowly trying to work on. Even if it may not seem big deal to someone else, it definitely is for me. And I’m just so incredibly proud of myself and happy that I’m doing it. Just happy that I’m doing things for me. Things that I’ve been putting off for far too long.

You’ve been on my mind a lot lately. I hope you’ve been doing well and taking care of yourself. And I hope you’re enjoying your time down in High River! I just hope you’re well.

[wenotaboutlove]

prom night

To start this blog I thought I should start with my earliest memory. This is a sweet yet cringy one, so buckle up!

Prom. A night to remember. Throughout high school I always imagined myself going to senior prom with a hot guy and loosing my virginity to him. Tale as old as time. For me that boy was Sean. Sean was very out of my league. Tall, smart, quiet, popular, athletic, and oh so hot. I only ever spoke to him thrice, but when I did my heart would skip a beat. He had a nonchalance about him, a je ne sais quoi. For some reason I held on to the hope of him asking me to prom. Spoiler alert, he didn’t ask me. No one officially asked me, actually. Instead I “went” to prom with a friend of a guy who wanted to go to prom  with my best friend. I say “went” because we didn’t arrive together, there was no corsage, no limo, nada! We met up at prom and had awkward conversation. Plus there was another girl, a lower classmen, who was continuously flirting with him. I let her have him- I later heard she gave him head at an after party. So Jeremiah, if you’re reading this, you’re welcome. 

During the dance I was actually invested on another guy who was also named Sean. I was hoping he would notice me but he didn’t. My friend and I decided to leave the dance and head to an after party. At that point I was feeling the prom night blues. I didn’t have an actual date. No guy was dying to dance with me. My friends were lame and didn’t want to throw that ass in a circle. Not to mention my makeup lady did me dirty and I looked a hot mess. But it was alright because there was still an after party. My friend and I hopped on an uber and we were on our way! 

I’d like to start by saying we didn’t know whose house we were going to. A friend of a friend sent us the flyer to the party. The uber ride took a shockingly long time. We went from Buckhead to Bankhead real quick. When we arrived we were confused. There were about 10 people there. We thought maybe we had the wrong house. We decided we would give it 20 minutes. If more people didn’t arrive then we would leave.

Thankfully people did start to arrive. We didn’t recognize any of them but hey, it was starting to get lit. Being the social anxiety lil bitch I am, I was a wallflower. I will say i do regret not dancing my ass off, because if I were dancing none of the shit I’m about to tell y’all would’ve happened. 

A group of Hispanic boys are standing and talking next to me. And let me just paint y’all a picture. There I am, full face of cakey makeup, sitting on the floor, wearing my friends tshirt with no bra because apparantley you’re supposed to pack an after party outfit. All of a sudden one of the guys comes up to me and says “ You tryna fuck with my friend?”. Although I was flattered for being considered I politely declined. Eventually two of the boys and I start sparking an actual converstion. I ask if they were coming from their school prom and they said yes. I’ll admit I thought one of them was pretty cute.

Now before we go any further I need to tell ya’ll something about me and Hispanic boys, more specifically Mexican boys. I don’t date them. I will date anyone else but Mexican boys. Before ya’ll call me racist let me explain. I’m Mexican, and I mean I was born in Mexico and had to cross the goddamn border. I don’t go for fellow beaners because they all either look like my brother or my cousins or my uncles. It makes me uncomfortable. Plus, for the most part, Mexican guys are not my style. They’re all so cheesy and corny, it grosses me out. So there. 

Anyways, of course the boy that I was somewhat interested in didn’t really pay attention to me, but his less cute friend did. By that point I was willing to take what I could get. His name was Patrick. Odd name considering he had “el nopal en la frente”. So there we were. Patrick and I being wallflowers at this random after party. I was tipsy at that point after eating some alcohol laced gummies- yes those are a thing. We talked and talked. Well, I talked and talked. I think I told this guy my whole life story. It was getting late and I was thinking “ is this it? Am I going to have sex with him?”. I thought it over and decided that I wouldn’t. He asked to kiss me and I just felt gross, my makeup was droopy, I felt very gutter slut. I said no to the kiss. 

I will say he was a very sweet guy. When I got cold he put his jacket over me. He walked me to the car when my friend’s mom came to pick us up. I caved and gave him my snap. On the car ride I did feel a little gitty. Someone out there liked me, even if I wasn’t too crazy about him. I felt like a teen. All throughout high school no boy had ever showed interest in me. I had never felt wanted. With him I could tell he got butterflies around me. It felt nice. 

The next day at school I was more than excited to tell my girlfriends about my “crazy” night. They were so happy for me. I had finally found a guy that liked me, I was finally validated. My friend told me that he asked her if “my baby had gotten home ok”. He called me his “baby”! I had many thoughts rushing through my head. “Is he going to be my first boyfriend?’”, “do I actually like him or the idea of having a bf?”, “I don’t care, I’ll finally have a bf!”. 

We texted back and forth. I can’t quite remember what we actually talked about but it was nice to have someone to text. Then one day I get a text that says “I have to tell you something”, not sure why but I automatically knew what he was going to say. It all clicked, he’s not 18. I never asked his age, I just assumed he was 17 or 18. He then says “ I’m not 18, I’m 16″. Massive yuck! Any maniscual feeling I had for this boy went out the window. I have a thing where I can not date anyone younger than me, even if they’re just one year younger. I instantly see them as a fetus. I told him it was ok, we could remain friends. He goes on to say that we should still go out. I informed him that it would technically be ilegal, considering I was almost 18 at the time. He was presistant. He said no one needed to know. Umm hecky no, I was not trying to catch a case, especially since I barely even liked the guy!

He did not care. He then proceeds to drop the L word. The freakin L word! I told him it is impossible for him to be in love with me, he didn’t even know me! We had only known each other for about four days at this point! He goes on to say it was “love at first sight”. I came to the realization that he was just a boy of 16. He had no experience. He didn’t know what love is. He was just eager to find someone, a complete stranger. Someone to try and make him feel nice, wanted. I sympathized with him. I agreed to a date.

Now, this date wasn’t for us to further our “relationship”. It was to make him see that he didn’t love me. We are completely different. I saw this date as an oppurtunity to let him down and teach him a few things. 

Lessons on my agenda:

-Veganism. How it can aid in global warming and sustainability

-The crisis in Venezuela. Most people are dying of hunger

-Gun violence

Yes, I did indeed talk about these and only these topics. And of course he was more interested in getting to know me but that wasn’t going to happen. We had decided to meet at a cupcake shop and I strategically got there early and bought myself a cupcake. Prior to that he had mentioned how he wanted to pay because “that’s what gentlemen do”. I guess he wanted to show me that chivalry wasn’t dead. But the awkwardness was alive and well. The whole time he could barely look at me. I could tell he was nervous. I didn’t make it easy on him considering the fact I dressed in the cutest little outfit, I wanted to really make it hard on him. I saw it as an opportunity for him to really grow. We walked for a while and he was bold enough to make a move. He very swiftly grabbed my hand and I very swiflty snatched it away. The date came to an end shortly after that. My parents came to pick me up. My mom always remembers him and ask when I’ll see him again, even after years. After that I made it clear to him that I was never going to date him. Seems harsh but I knew I would never come around to like him. Our texts became dry. Until eventually we stopped talking. 

I still think of him fondly. The first guy I ever went on a date with. His curly hair. His bashfulness. His Irish name. Patrick, thank you for starting my dating career, even if you were underage. 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #242

“i don’t miss you, i miss the misery.”

How many pairs of converse shoes do you own? Hm... three or four? Any other names your parents planned to give you? The only one I *think* I remember is Katelyn. Thank fuck I dodged that bullet. Which is the most beautiful place you know? The mountains between NC and TN, if I remember correctly. I was very young. What do you work with? I don't work period & I hate it. Have you ever hit an animal with your car? Thank Christ no. Favorite ride at the amusement park? I guess ferris wheels. Favorite beauty essential in your bathroom cabinet? I don't have a "favorite" considering I don't use any regularly. Do you have many followers on your Tumblr? Nah. Do you tan easily? I burn like toast, man. Are you expecting something in the mail? No. Do you inspire others? Idk. What do you collect? Meerkat stuff and Silent Hill merch. Do you like cats? Hell yes!!! Are you healthy? If you excuse my weight and muscle atrophy, I'm actually pretty healthy, according to a billion tests I've gotten done when trying to discover *why* I had such awful pain in my legs. Have you ever been out of state? Yeah. Can you always blame your acts on that you were just too drunk? Fuck no. Three things you try to avoid as much as possible: Well dying lmao, getting hurt, public speaking. How many times have you been overseas? Zero. Do you use to have someone in mind when shopping for underwear? Wait what the fuck- What accent do you have? I don't really have one, although I do have a southern tone with some words sometimes I suppose. I also do say things like "y'all" or "fixing to (do something)," so I use some Southern terminology. Where would you like to live? The mountains of western NC. Sigh. Do you follow fashion? No. Do you have a big butt? Ever heard of Hank Hill Ass Syndrome? I have Hank Hill Ass Syndrome. Your worst job nightmare is: Customer service EVER again. Who’s the coolest rapper in the world? Idk and idc. Do you count how long you and your gf/bf have been together? I mean yeah, I think anniversaries are worth celebration. Healthy relationships aren't always easy to maintain; to remain in love takes forgiveness, loyalty, dedication... all that. It shouldn't be hard, but it takes effort. Have you graduated? High school, anyway. Rihanna or Lady Gaga? Lady Gaga, definitely. Do you use fake eyelashes? No. What’s your worst interior design nightmare: I dunno. Probably just being very crammed? What makeup brands do you use? I don't have any particular ones; I don't wear makeup enough. What’s the worst kind of rejection you could give someone? I genuinely feel it to be how Jason did so with me. Three and a half years in a very serious relationship, and he out of the blue breaks up with me over Facebook because my depression became "too much." Like by NOW I understand I can't shame him for wanting to be happy, but the way he did it was fucking cruel and tore me apart. Like especially when this person was your refuge from daily pain and pretty much your god and future (never make someone that, holy holy HOLY shit don't), that individual just suddenly having enough and breaking contact off like that was emotional murder. Do you have a crush on someone right now? Well yeah, but it's like... a "tamed" one? Is that an accurate word? Like I understand it just can't work right now, but it doesn't stop me from liking her. Is there anyone that many people think is hot, but you don’t? I'm sure there's someone. Do you sort and organize your clothes in some kind of way? Sorta. When somebody intimidates you, how do you usually act around them? Nervous, skittish, more awkward than usual. Is your favorite singer in a band or does he or she ride solo? Brendon Urie is in P!atD and Patrick Stump is in Fall Out Boy. Freddie Mercury was the vocalist of Queen. Did your parents ever hang your old artwork up on the walls? Yeah, Mom still has some up lmao. How often do you wear chapstick? Only when my lips are actually chapped. Do you walk around your house with your shoes on or do you take them off? Definitely off. What is the weirdest obsession you’ve ever had? Collecting stickers, maybe? How many of the seven deadly sins have you fulfilled today? Sloth is on the daily lmao, gluttony, and lust. Should guys always kiss the girl on a first date? Not always, of course not. It depends on the comfort level, and I would ALWAYS ask first. Which band has the corniest music videos? Corniest lyrics? I don't really watch music videos, and idk about lyrics. What subject is/was hardest for you in school? Math. Have any songs ever inspired you to play an instrument? No. Do you ever use Pandora? No. Are you better with creative writing or writing essays? I think I'm good at both, but I probably excel in creative writing. When was the last time you were rick rolled? No clue. What is the weirdest animal you’ve ever seen as a pet? Seen, I guess a chinchilla, though that's not really "weird." If you had to change one, would you rather change your hair or your eyes? Eyes. When was the last time you had a ‘she-mergency’? I had to look this up to be certain what that even was lmao. Probably some time I started my period at school and had to use folded toilet paper or something for a while. Which sounds creepier: sleeping in the attic or the basement? I'd say it depends on the make-up of each and its cleanliness. What was your favorite computer game as a kid? I think it was called The Amazon Trail 3? It was a damaged disc however, so it froze a lot. I think I only finished it once or twice; even knowing it would likely crash, I just liked playing it as far as I could. Have you ever tried on your mom’s wedding ring? No. Any shows on TV that you flat out refuse to start watching? 13 Reasons Why, to name perhaps the #1. What is your opinion on fruitcake? NO. Here’s a tough one. Would you rather marry your cousin or a dog? Oh fuck off, neither. Who did you last dream about? I can't remember what it was about, but I know Mark was in it lmao. Do you have trouble remembering important things? Sometimes. My memory is atrocious. Which animal can you imitate the best? Audibly? Probably a cat. Which is harder - walking in the snow or sand? Sand. I FUCKING hate walking through sand. It's one reason I don't like the beach. Do you like sour candy? oml YES. If anyone, who did you sit with at lunch today? N/A Have you gotten any injuries lately? If so, what and how? Not anything I can remember. Are you a clumsy person? You have no idea. How about disorganized? I'm oddly split down the middle. Last male you talked to in person? My dad. Have you ever had a sunburn? Oh boy, I've gotten past that. Try sun poisoning. Are you thinking about asking anyone out? No. Pink lemonade or regular lemonade? PINK! Chocolate or strawberry milk? Oh boy, chocolate. I tried strawberry as a child and absolutely loathed it beyond words known to man, and I will not be giving it a second chance. I remember it pristinely. Disgusting. What volume is the ringer on your phone? It's on vibrate. Have you ever won a contest on the radio? No. Do you often write on yourself? I never do, 'less we're talking about tattoos lol. Is there writing on the shirt you are currently wearing? No. Frosted flakes or frosted mini wheats? I hate the latter, so I guess frosted flakes, though I don't really remember how they taste. Do mushrooms really add flavor to food? I hate them, so they obviously have enough flavor for me to notice them... What about onions? Yes. Are you a fan of Thai food? I've actually never had Thai food. How about Indian food? Same as above. Have you ever tried sushi? No. In your opinion, who would be the best president? I don't know. What was the last thing you spent more than $20 on? I have no ide- oh wait I paid for Teddy's surgery with... money I don't know from whence it came? Was it financial aid money? Idr. Do you wear actual designated ‘pajamas’ to bed? Pj pants and a tank top. When was the last time you were tempted to do something you’d later regret? Probably take a nap late in the day, ending in me being unable to sleep well at night. Thankfully, I decided against it. Have you ever had feelings for your best friend’s significant other? Yes. Well, not current best friend, but a former one. How many times did you ride in a car today? Zero. Are you comfortable in your own skin? Fuck no. What's absolutely splendid is even when/if I lose the weight I aim to, I'm going to have loose skin that literally might make me hate my body more until I without argument muster up the money to get it surgically removed. Are you in a good mood right now? I'm alright. When was the last time you had an ice cream cone? Been quite a while. Did you eat breakfast this morning? Yeah, had some cereal. Have you ever been in a cemetery at midnight? No. Do you live on your own? No. I don't even think I could tolerate living alone because of my depression and how loneliness can severely trigger it. I'm realistically probably not moving out until it'll be with an s/o. If not, who do you live with? I live with my mom, my sister's dog, and my cat and snake. How old are your siblings, if you have any? I have a lot, and I don't know the ages of all of them, only my two immediate sisters: 26 and 21. Have you ever had a crush on a sibling’s friend? No. Have you donated blood in the last 2 years? No. What was the last free t-shirt you received from? School. Is there anything you are looking forward to at the moment? February 4th, baby. Tattoo gets fixed up by an artist I like far more. Him not having an open booking until then should say enough. Are you an atheist? No. Are you Asian? No. Are you fluent in another language? No. Are you in the military? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Are you an artist? Not professional, but I enjoy making art. Are you a musician? No. Are you an athlete? Oh, hunny- Do you have a favorite flower? I really like orchids. Where was the last place you went that was more than an hour away? Great question... The trip to my therapist is about an hour, but not over. Why were you going there? For therapy. Who was the last person to tell you you looked nice? Probably Mom, idk. Have you ever been to a nude beach? Hell no, I wouldn't even if I was in great shape. How many websites do you have an account for? WHEW I have no idea, A LOT over all the years. Have you ever paid for any kind of online membership? Well, WoW is an online game, so a subscription, though because I obviously don't have my own money, I'm sadly rich enough in the game to use monthly tokens. Do you try clothes on before you buy them? Not always. I try to avoid it because I just hate doing it. What would you do if you knew a robber was in your house? Well I obviously don't know how I'd react on impulse, but I'd imagine myself locking my door and then climbing out the window. Then run like a motherfucker up the road some to a neighbor's, or hide in the nearby woods and call Mom. What’s your favorite type of pizza? Meat lovers sobs in wannabe-vegetarian. Have you ever been afraid of falling in love? Yes, very. Who’d you last see in a tux? I don't know. Do you record any TV shows and watch them later? No. Do you have difficulty pronouncing any words? Yeah, particularly "breakfast." I tend to put a "t" after the "k." Do you have your own computer? Yeah. Out of everyone you know, who was the most heart? My mom. Who’s the bravest person you know? Oh man, that's hard. I know a lot of brave people. Who would you want to have your back if things got tough? More than anyone in the world, Mom. Have your friends ever given you answers to homework, last minute? Yeah. Have you ever dated someone who was real sportsy? No. Have you ever done something terrible, but took forever to feel bad? By this point in time, I consider how I spoke to Jason before going to the ER multiple times absolutely terrible, and yes, it did take a very long time for me to realize just how cruel it was. Now it's fucking HARD to accept I ever said what I did. Have you ever read Shakespeare? Yes. Can anyone really change anyone that doesn’t wanna change? Nope. Do you think that anyone currently has a crush on you? I would assume Sara still does, but again, we know a relationship between us just isn't wise right now. What profession do you admire the most? The most? Man, that's hard to decide. Probably those that risk their lives for others, like firefighters, cops (yes, I am aware some abuse their power, but good cops deserve all the respect in the world), etc. Have you ever made a fake profile, for any reason? I don't believe so, no. What’s the hardest lesson you’ve ever had to learn? Bad things happen to good people and no, the universe does not care. Have you ever questioned your sexuality? Well obviously.

[theprivilegedshatlord-blog]

I am the friend known as “H” from CancerChaser blog in Chapter 6

I am here to corroborate what my friend said and provide my side of the story of this situation. Walhartonsclub (WC) told me about CancerChaser (CC) back in 2016 after the first incident where CC was wiling out on WC because of what seemed to a misunderstanding of affording a phone. I initially told WC to ignore him because he was not worth shit or at least is what I initially thought. From there he kept me informed about what CC did throughout.Now to go into when i was first referenced in the chronicles about CancerChaser. From what I knew at the time, CC asked WC to send emails over and over from phone to his email. Have no idea why would he need WC to do that. He could have used something like Imgur. Given that CC had a phone that was not a smartphone based on what I was told, it would probably be impossible. Of course trying to make simple suggestions to him like this is enough to make CC go into a hair-triggering temper tantrum, so there is no use to try to convince him to upgrade. It was 2016, being up to date shouldn’t be too hard, you can even get refurbished smartphones for a fraction of full retail price. My parents have the latest phones and they are older than CC by decades. Why did CC chose WC instead of other friends for these favors is beyond me. So he asked and asked and asked WC to send him these pics over and over. WC complied with generosity. WC likes to please his friends. He has pleased me multiple times. He also tries to be the best person he can be. Needless to say CC took advantage of him.So when it came time for CC return the favor, he was resistant initially. When he finally did start playing, he did until after half of the game was over. The game was Spring Breeze from Kirby’s Super Star on Super NIntendo. Did you know that Spring Breeze is a remake of the original Kirby’s Dream Land on Game Boy with a missing level and boss? So CC did not even bother finishing such a short abridged game. That betrayal was just foul play on CC’s end.

Then CC would later use WC’s insecurities to gain him back and asked for more favors. WC then approached me on rethinking the situation. I initially thought that he probably did not like the game and was bored. I made the suggestion to pick a game that has much less interaction. Like some touch screen DS or 3DS game. WC brought up Warioware Twisted Touched!, so I thought would be a good choice there. My reasoning is that CC probably has no real interest in video games. I have heard that he has play Super Mario Bros. 3 growing up. Which makes me realize that CC is a very casual non-gamer person.

Reading the situation in question at Chapter 5 reveals that CC had been simply holding the controller where the direction pad in the upper right corner and seemingly pressed no buttons which means he was faking interest and had no intention at all to return the favor. He really should have said that he had no interest in playing video games. He was lying to manipulate WC. Which comes to no surprise that CC refused to play Warioware Twisted Touched! when asked. He cannot play easy games. He cannot play very simple games. But he would lie about having an interest only for him to evade that with excuses. With friends like these who needs bullies?

The next time I was involved was when WC was having his panic attack resulting from personal issues that are stated in Chapter 6. I have received certain pictures that hinted that he was contemplating suicide. Being under vacation time from my job, I decided to actually come see WC to check up on him myself. When I saw him, he was sitting on a couch. When he saw me he was excited to see me I asked if he took any of the pills or hurt himself, he told me that he gave himself more time to think about it. Perhaps to think about the people that love him.

He told me about the situation that led up to the panic attack. Best way to describe what was happening without revealing confidential information is that someone was very sick and emotions erupted. I had told him that he needs more time to hang out with friends. We not only did Spring Breeze in full, but also Meta Knight’s Revenge, Dyna Blade, and Great Cave Offensive as well. Games in that collection that are larger than Spring Breeze. We did not get to do Milky Way Wishes that day, but we did eventually got to do it at another time. We also played Brawl Brothers, all I remember is that there was a code to play the Japanese version and we did that and completed the game. It was short at 5 levels long. We also played Events in Super Smash Bros. for Wii U. We did not clear all of the event, only some but we did have fun.

At Applebees we discussed the situation further. There I learned that he had sent the same pics to other friends as well which made me concerned. I thought that WC was going to get a wellness check on him or worse be committed to a mental ward for days. I only knew one recipient among the 7 besides myself (I never met CC in person). The person I knew is a mutual friend. The mutual friend never really got to see the messages, so he was unaware (it reached an old phone and when he got a new one, the messages were deleted). The mutual was relieved to know that WC was okay and felt better. And yes the mutual is informed of CC and his bullshit antics; I can confirm that he heavily resents CC, as I do.

So I had to get WC to do damage control to avoid being institutionalized. As information like this can scare people and be irrational. We needed for cooler heads to prevail. So WC told everyone that it was for attention. So WC can still run his panel at a upcoming convention and not be stuck that weekend in a mental hospital. He really needed to avoid the ruining of plans like that.

After all, my cousin once told me about the one time she told exactly one person that she felt suicidal because an aunt of hers  being diagnosed of cancer (from her dad’ side, I’m related through our moms being sisters). Telling her best friend was enough for the BF to call the ambulance and my cousin had to stay in a mental ward for 16 days!

CC’s response was very callous. As far as I know, he never asked what was going on around that time. He just stayed silent and only responded with that shitty “I knew it” bullshit when he received a fucking coverup. WC was crying for help and I answered the call. I live 2 hours away and this asshat lives minutes away in walking speed, yet gives radio silence to someone he calls himself a friend to, is mere blocks away, while I invest in gas and mileage to make sure WC is okay. Some friend CC is. For someone who claims to be “a good friend” in his hate mail; he sure shows no effort in even trying to check up on him. Real piece of scum CC is.

I later go to see the panel and I liked it. Which comes to no surprise in my perspective. The next day I played Streets of Rage 1 with WC. The only other thing I remember is that there was some dude I met who was in a wheelchair because he broke his foot days before.

Now for my thoughts about CancerChaser and his narcissism.

Walhartonsclub would later work for New York Comic-Con and buy the Super NES Classic. Which meant for the later part of September and early October he would be very busy. He also was seeking for connections, so there would not be any room for free time. CancerChaser did not give a shit about the adult responsibilities WC had to do. And despite CC being older than WC, CC would not take no for an answer and start guilt tripping WC. Having enough of CC’s scummy actions, WC finally cut ties. This was met with harassment and hatemail. Which truly shows CC’s irredeemable character in full form.

CC is a fucking disgrace to everything it means to being gay. If I was gay, I would rather live in a fucking fraternity of homophobic bullies that to ever have anything to do with CC. This old man never seemed to learn a single thing about accountability or responsibility. How dare does he interfere with a job? What gives him the right to call his target for the simple reason to give expletives to him? And his emails? Disgusting does not come close. Making empty threats to for law enforcement for intimidation and truly showing his true colors on how he uses people only to claim they are useless after the fact. And his latest unprovoked email where he makes more empty threats and more shitty insults is fucked up. I have heard that CC passed by a block away from WC’s home twice after 2017. That is obvious projection. CC’s knows WC’s location. Clearly CC is the stalker. Stalking close to his target’s home and then acts like he is the victim and being harassed is scummy behavior. I have never seen such a scummy person ever as far as stalkers and harassers go.

I honestly have no consideration for him as a human being. If he receives anything terrible short of death, it is karma. He deserves nothing but negativity and hate. This man is among the lowest of monsters. I have had to deal with people with psychosis several years ago, but this man is worse by the power of 10. There is bad people and there is EXTREME SCUM. CancerChaser is the latter. The only people worse than CancerChaser are child rapists, pedophiles, murderers, terrorists, abusive parents, and human traffickers. All those aside, CancerChaser is the worst kind of person out there. Fuck this man. Fuck him HARD!

And finally I got one thing to announce. I get the feeling that people do not really want to read long as fuck posts like this on tumblr. I am going to fix that. I am going to working on readings of the CancerChaser blog and post them on YouTube so people who don’t really care about reading essays can listen to the situation as well. Because we really to expose CancerChaser and let tons of people know who much inhumane scumbag CC truly is.

[myunknownsource]

Parental Alienation

Hello,

 I am sure you're curious what this would bring you to. And I would love to get right to the point. TLDR at the bottom.

Ronee (candle-jacked) told you all a bunch of lies. The first one being that her ex had abandoned them in October. We had their son for Christmas 2 months after he supposedly abandoned them. We didn't even start dating until December.. And then she told you that he called her on new years eve to tell her they needed to break up even though they had been broken up for many many months at this point. Trust me he was extremely occupied new years eve. The only reason I can think she thought they were together was because at some point before we started dating his roomates girlfriend at the time was thinking about leaving and getting her own place and he wanted to see if Ronee would be open to the idea of him, her, their son, and his other roommate in getting a place. He only wanted to do that so it was easier for him to see his son. He ultimately changed his mind when he was skeptical of her getting a job and pulling her weight evenly, which had never really happened well in the past, the only time it did money was held over his head while he watched and took care of their son. Justin and I started dating at the beginning of December after dating for 2-3 weeks in November. We hit it off extremely well and seeing that we have been together for 4 years says a lot. I’m sure you all know and support someone who started their relationship extremely quickly and if you're ok with that it would be very hypocritical of you not to be ok with this. Which is exactly why I didn't quite understand why Ronee herself freaked out when her entire relationship with justin not only started while she still had a boyfriend but it became a sexual relationship before they were ever bf and gf. Not that I would ever care or judge something like that. I think the next lie we can talk about would be the “paramour”a lover, especially the illicit partner of a married person” shit. Justin and Ronee weren't married, they were not engaged, they weren't even dating.  Its just yet another spiteful name she felt the need to call me, alongside bashing my sexual history (which seems pretty anti feminist to me) as well as telling people I sold my body for money (i wouldn't have even been 18 so lets thank god thats not true) and that i frequently fist fought my mother and my brother, also not true you can literally ask them lol. I have an amazing relationship with my mother who i was actually just visiting in AL where they moved and my brother who just got back from fighting for your freedom just left my house like 2 hours ago. SO yeah. 

Another lie she told me herself when she was trying to get me to turn on Justin was that they were engaged when we started dating. Did she tell you guys about that or just me? Apparently because she didn't like traditional rings she didn't have one to prove it to me because he was designing one specifically for her.. Im sorry guys and no offence to justin but he doesn't care about stuff like that, its weird for him and I have come to accept that. Now on the other hand if she had told me that he asked her to design it I would have maybe believe her because thats more his style. She also told you guys his own family disowned him, that isnt even close to true. She even tried to say it was because I assaulted his sister? Whos was a minor at the time and still is now. SOO lets poke some holes in this story shall we? Justins mother and I are arguing about who knows what, I really cant remember and her daughter is behind her on the stairs (im in the basement with justin) the argument is getting heated and Donna (justins mother) decides to come about 15ft forward until there's about 3ft between us. (his sister is still on the stairs) but apparently mid argument I freak out and punch his sister? Whos 20ft away from me, past his mother? Maybe Ronee can clear that up for us. On top of that if I assaulted a minor that would have been an easy instant phone call to the police and I would have a very easy to find record in Missouri. Yet I dont. Because that didn't happen. Also why did we move back in with Donna when we had to abruptly move to missouri per instructions from our GAL (mareks lawyer from the courts) because otherwise Ronee would get the visitation she wanted which was supervised (though she had no evidence to be granted that) for 4 hours a few times a month. Despite the fact that we lived 4 hours away. Anyways, where were we? Ahh yes. Donna welcomed us into her home because at the time we were her chance at seeing their son (her grandson). I got a semi sincere apology from her for punching me in the face that night and we moved on from it, becasue im a good person. Ronee still says his family hates him but lets do a headcount. Justin, his brother, his mother and his sister, also 2 cousins. WHo doesnt like Donna? Justin, his brother, and his 2 cousins because they all also know what their parents told them about their shitty aunt. Even Ronee herself said she was a shitty mother and that Diane was there for justin more than his mom. 

Now its time for court. Ronees lawyer approached us. We found out that had we not shown up the judge would have granted what Ronee wanted (the 4 hours supervised a few times a month) which is funny because when justin called Diane (Ronees mother) she boasted how she wouldn't let Ronee take Marek away if justin couldn't make it and wouldn't let Ronee do the supervised visits because she knew he was a good dad. BULLSHIT lol. He also specifically asked us to not talk to her about what we wanted in the visitation plan because when we did she would call him crying about how she didnt want Justin apart of anything…. HE TOLD US HE DIDNT WANT TO DEAL WITH HER BS TOO! Eventually we hired a cheap lawyer who we were told wasn't the best but at this point her lawyer won't communicate with Justin even though he was representing himself and we needed someone who could file these documents when we couldn't. We had to explain to the GAL that justin hadn't seen his son in over a year and we had to show him the texts we had from a prepaid phone to Ronee where she REFUSED to let Justin talk to his son for unknown reason (jk we all know why) and he ordered that we get him that day and would start an every other weekend schedule until things got worked out with the courts. She sent her mother to bring hsia son that day and this woman has the audacity to tell Justin that this all could have been avoided. 

But I think one of the most important pieces of information I can give you is that Justin has tried to pay her support for the last 9mo-12mo after he had to quite the job where his money was being garnished. We have the venmo receipts after it took her 5 months to finally agree to accept payment from, then he was laid off for 3 months per his work contract which we also have on file and he sent her about ⅓ of what he was ordered to pay (he had no job and he sent her most of the spending money he got that I budgeted for each of us from my paychecks) about half way through his lay off he asked her something about how he thought it would be a good idea if she reported the CS payments every 6 months to the CS office. It would have been free but she was the only one who could do it. It wasn't even a demand but a suggestion that could have been talked about, we legitimately thought we had finally rounded a curve and we all could start co parenting together, but apparently he wasn't aloud to give her suggestions because she blocked him on venmo, went off on him on talking parents (the app she forced him into using despite the fact that shes in contempt of court for doing that) and specifically told him she would never report the money. We also have snips of that convo if you guys want it. Justin hasnt talked to his son in about 6 months. The few times he “has” it doesnt sound like a 9 yo and its demeaning things that Ronee herself has said in the past. About a month ago he got a call from Marek and was actually getting somewhere after he started to explain things to him. He even told his son about how in June he was parked in front of his house to get him for his 2 week summer vacation and Ronee hadnt let him get him and his son told him in a very said voice that he never knew that. Then the line went dead. Ronee texted from his sons phone saying this isn't the time to talk about that and hes been blocked ever since. 

TLDR; Ronee Halsey (candle-jacked) is abusing her power as a co parent with my fiance and abusing their child through parental abuse. 

P.S. I know I will receive backlash from her closest friends who think they know the story and thats ok because I cant sit here for one more minute while she gets away with this(I will block you though). I would be more than happy to supply everyone with any and all evidence I have. 

P.P.S OMG I almost forgot the worst part. Ronee decided one day she was going to accuse Justin of abusing their son. I knew it was going to end up happening (i grew up with a dad who had a high conflict ex wife) so every single time we picked up and dropped off their son i would discretely ask him to pose for pictures either by himself or with me or his dad. Not even Justin knew I was doing this but thank the lord I did. Because Ronee Halsey crossed that line you should never cross and accused someone of actual physical child abuse. But because shes a mother in the state of MO nothing came of it. Despite the pictures I sent to her lawyer and the GAL he supposedly met with their son and he came to the conclusion that he did infact have a black eye and busted lip but he got it while wrestling his dad. DESPITE THE FACT THAT MY PICTURES OF HIM WITHIN MINUTES OF GETTING IN AND OUT OF M Y CAR FOR THAT WEEKEND SHOWED HE DIDNT HAVE A SINGLE MARK ON HIM. The saddest part is that when I recorded the conversation Justin had with Marek the next weekend he told Justin that he never saw or felt pain from them, he said his mother told him they weren't the kind he could see. I will gladly send snips from those emails to you guys. 

@chewybitart @notlemha @karygurl @sushichan24 @eagleoverlord @thementalwayfarer @angelsdoexist @saltwaterhermit @candle-jacked

[lovexdejun]

🖤NCT Boyfriend Series🖤

- [🌅]Kun

>>no warnings; just super long because i really liked this scenario >>also, kun with kids is a whole concept

•a responsible one •we’re gonna pretend like kun has a lot of family in this even tho he’s an only child bc it works with the storyline and i can see kun being a huge family man •he’s your best friends older brother (let’s make it by like 3 years), so of course you’ve known him all your life •to your mortification, he’d witnessed you go through all your awkward phases •especially the one when you were 13 and had a massive crush on him •it was at his youngest sister’s birthday party that you realized you never truly grew out of it like you thought •he had been living quite a ways away for college, so you lost touch for a couple years due to conflicting schedules •you were so unprepared when he busted through the front door with a “surprise!” •when he wasn’t being bombarded with questions by his family, he was practically interrogating you •”when did you end up leaving the emo thing behind?” •”you gotten accepted to any colleges yet?” •”are you still seeing that douche bag from st. charles?” •during the party, you’ll watch each other play with all the little ones •the way he picks up the little girl who tripped and wipes her tears away just makes you mELT •and kun seeing you hold his cousin’s baby would make him want to see you with HIS baby •the whole family ships you guys already •bc he’s been attached to your hip ever since the party started and the they can’t help noticing the way he looks at you •the next few weeks after that are full of him subtly hitting on you •so subtly that you don’t notice •and you’re best friend has shipped it since middle school so she’s actually dying •you get frustrated when he gets jealous because you don’t realize it IS jealousy •one day you come into the kitchen while he’s cooking and for some reason he’s being really short with you •so you, finally fed up, confront him about it •which turns into a full blown argument until you accidentally slam your hand onto a hot burner •he doesn’t think he’s ever heard such a high pitch sounding his life •immediately flies into parent mode •while your sitting there with tears running down your face, he’s wiping them away and wrapping up your hand simultaneously •”yah, i said it was hot when you came in” •which just makes you cry more so he begins to coo over you like an actual mom •once you’ve finally calmed down, you guys are just staring at each other for a minute •then he’s kissing you •and that’s how you ended up dating your best friend’s brother •he cares about you sO MUCH •an actual father •like, being with this man would give you a serious case of baby fever •he keeps you grounded while your head’s in the clouds •you keep him on his toes •you have to yell at him sometimes for subconsciously treating you like a child •but in his defense, you have the tendency to act like one •he would rather study that cuddle •but when he would rather cuddle, you weren’t going anywhere any time soon •you’d have to seduce him to get him in bed if you’re in the mood •if he’s in the mood •again, you won’t be going anywhere any time soon •a reoccurring event of you giving him head out of the blue while he’s studying or trying to do something productive •he would cook for you •you’d steal his clothes all the time •you’d be his solace when he’s stressed •when you’re upset/angry/stressed, he’s the only one who can calm you down •loves that fact that you get so amazed by his magic tricks bc you’re an actual child •you roast him 24/7 •pathetically tries to roast you back •he’s funnier when he isn’t trying •you like when he gets jealous because then he gets clingy •he hates when you get jealous because you give him the cold shoulder •when he goes back for college you feel like you’re dying •like you used to spend every ounce of your free time stuck up his ass and now he’s just gone •so surprise him in his dorm at the most random times •you’re the first person he wants to see when he comes home •once he’s graduated, you guys move into your own house together •you’ve asked him to marry you about six times already •but he always says no •then one day, you’re sitting on the kitchen counter while he’s cooking, just showering him with compliments of being a good cook, a good bf, handsome etc… •he drops what he’s doing all of the sudden, sighs, and you think he’s gonna get mad bc you’re distracting him •but he just kinda looks at you with this weird expression •”let’s just get married already so you can annoy me like this for the rest of our lives.” •when you realize he’s serious… •you love him more than you ever thought you could love someone in your entire life •so of course it’s a yes for you •a relationship with kun would have both of you testing your limits, and you would probably get irritated with each other quite a bit, but a love like yours only comes around once in a life time •i would throw kun in with the relationship lines opposites attract, responsible, and old married couple.

>>kun isn’t just a boyfriend,, he’s a wholeass husband. he was super easy to find pics for and he just looks so natural in all of them

A/N: sorry i’m so late again!! i got called into work early😅

A/Nx2: this was probably the most fun to write so far!! i feel like i could have written a novel out of this lol love you guys and enjoy!!

nct | requests are always open!!

[jaxxeyy]

Bday

okay i will be 14 in 2 months and i can get my first job. im so ready so i can make money and feel like my own person bc right now sitting here wasting my life away is not working so im hoping getting a job will be my exit of reality for a little bit bc i deal with a lot of mental health so i hope it will be more like a coping skill for me. if i cant find an exit soon im going to end up doing something stupid.

im hoping my bday does not end like my Christmas did bc that was horrible. i was having  dissociation really bad and we had TWO Christmas partys the one where all of my moms faimly comes and then the one with just my grandma, me and my cousins not included the one on my other grandmas. i just seems eveverything goes wrong on Christmas like death or something. also im not saying im not thankful bc i am i even have my grandmas especially my crazy grandma bc i would not have anything if it was not for her she gives me food, money, clothing everything my parents cant do even tho i live with them.

then theres a whole other situation with my relationship i have not had anyone except for my bf for months now and i fucked that up and he hates me i think, he texted me last night saying dont text me till i say you can bc i dont know if i want to talk to you bc you ignored me all day. on top of this too my dog is about to have puppys there is stuff going on in my system(DID system) and just mental health in general.

that was a lot. i hope you all have a good day~

[mysticmessheadcanons]

Headcanons for the RFA+Saeran going to MC's family's house but as the day progresses MC's family has some crazy drama like MC's sister slept with the other sister's bf and it turns out her brother cheated on his wife and theres so much drama and MC and the RFA+Saeran are just there like "okay wow um"

Sure haha

YOOSUNG

* you invited him to spend a weekend with your family 

* mostly because your parents wanted to know him 

* and also your sisters were coming too 

* so it was going to be a typical weekend at your house 

* nice food because your parents loved to cook special meals on weekends 

* movie nights 

* and maybe some games 

* it was like that all your life 

* so you were excited to show Yoosung all of this 

* when you two arrived your sisters were already there 

* so he got to meet everyone 

* and being like he is everyone loved him 

* later that day you were helping with the dinner and he was talking with your sisters 

* dinner was ready and the table was being loud as ever 

* everyone talking about different topics 

* your mother talking about her job and your dad about something that he saw on internet 

* your sisters talking about college 

* they were a year apart and went to the same college 

* you were sitting next to him so you two were talking 

* mostly because the rest was a mess and you couldn’t hear the other conversations 

* but all of sudden the table stopped 

* you both looked up and your sisters were about to fight 

* you knew their looks and this was going to be huge 

* they started yelling at each other 

* about stupid things 

* your parents trying to calm them 

* it was impossible 

* you knew those two since they were born and nothing was going to calm them 

* “I MEET HIM FIRST! I TOLD YOU! “ 

* “YOU NEVER SAID HIS NAME!! HOW I WAS SUPPOSED TO KNOW! “ 

* Yoosung was in shock 

* they were fight about a boy 

* who apparently was dating them both

* “Mc, should we stop them?” 

* he was whispering because he didn’t wanted to upset them more 

* “no, leave it… I guess it will stop soon” 

* also you wanted to know more about this, it was like a tv drama

ZEN

* he is dead nervous 

* he wants to do a great impression 

* so he wears nice clothes and bought a present for your parents 

* “are you sure this is fine? only wine?” 

* “Zen, calm down. They are going to love it. Did you thanked Jumin for the suggestion?” 

* “yes…” 

* you two made your way to your parents house 

* they greeted you with happy faces 

* of course they were happy to see you 

* and happy to finally meet Zen 

* “Oh dear, she talk about you every time. Don’t worry, if you are like she described you you will be fine” 

* you mother was being nice as always 

* your father was a bit more quiet but he was just keeping an eye on Zen 

* funny enough they were friends by dinner 

* “oh I forgot to mention but your uncle is coming too, he brings the kids” 

* “mom, they are not kids anymore. They are older than me” 

* “oh, yeah… they are still young to me” 

* the food was so good 

* and then your mother offered tea to everyone

* and your dad and uncle started talking about their school days 

* “you remember that girl? the one we both liked?” 

* they started talking about that girl 

* your mother didn’t said a single thing 

* she was kind of pissed 

* and you could swear they were going to fight soon 

* but surprise!

* your cousins were the ones fighting 

* “HOW COULD YOU DO THAT??” 

* “WE WERE DRUNK!” 

* “SHE WAS MY GIRL, DUDE”

* “YOU BROKE UP WITH HER!!!” 

* you looked at Zen 

* his jaw dropped 

* he was not expecting this 

* but to be honest neither you 

* “WE GOT BACK LIKE A WEEK LATER” 

* “IS NOT MY FAULT!” 

* you couldn’t do nothing but stare 

* they were giving a big ass show 

* your uncle tried to stop them 

* but he couldn’t do much

* “WHY DO YOU CARE? SHE’S WITH OTHER GUY NOW”

* “BUT SHE WAS WITH ME, AND YOU HAD SEX WITH HER!!” 

 “IT WAS LIKE FIVE YEARS AGO!”

you looked at Zen and his eyes almost popped out of his face 

he tried to say something but nothing came 

JAEHEE

you two are going to your cousin’s marriage 

she’s very happy that you wanted to go with her 

and of course the ceremony is beautiful 

she tears up a bit 

but now the good part starts

the food and the party 

what can be better 

you are with the most lovely woman eating nice food and about to get drunk 

some people are dancing and you are still in the table 

some of your aunties come to chat a bit 

you haven’t seen them in years 

but they are… a bit intense 

they love to talk about people 

“did you see what she’s wearing?” 

“I can’t believe your cousin’s boyfriend” 

and suddenly they started talking about one of your aunties and how her husband was cheating on her 

you were kind of interested too 

but it was still a bad thing to do 

“I heard that he’s with a girl way younger” 

“and she doesn’t know nothing” 

they were pure evil 

speaking of that poor woman like she wasn’t part of the family 

they were about to say more shit but in a second they both were covered in some red cocktail 

you looked at your back and there was the woman 

“you want to talk shit on my back? huh?” 

Jaehee was about to say something, to calm the situation a bit 

but the women started a little fight 

nothing serious 

but they were saying some shit 

“you are always like this, talking and talking but doesn’t do shit” 

“oh come on, he’s cheating and yet you are here angry at us” 

“at least I had sex, not like you lonely bitch” 

all the attempts of Jaehee trying to calm them failed 

and at this point she was just like “wow…” 

she looked at you trying to find an explanation but you were as speechless as her 

you two did nothing but look until some men came to separate them 

the rest of the night was fun but you will always look different at your aunties 

and Jaehee will always remember how she meet your family 

and how… interesting some of them are

JUMIN 

he is happy to finally meet the family you always tell stories about 

that big and loud family you have 

“you have many siblings” 

“yes, I do” 

he is still impressed on how many siblings you have 

6

he can’t believe how you managed to be with so many people in the same house 

but he sure wants to meet them 

hearing all those stories about them getting in trouble of fun fights with water 

sounds like a family he has to meet 

but is hard to get all of them at the same time 

they all have different lives now 

so he only met your little sister 

but nothing about your other 5 

but somehow your parents managed to bring them all in the same weekend 

“your house must be big” 

“not as your house, but we fit perfectly” 

he is really having a great time 

hearing about you by your older brother’s point of view is something he would treasure for life 

and let’s be honest all your older siblings want to meet him 

you and your little sister were the babies of the house 

so you got the protection fo them all 

you older sister is with her boyfriend as well 

and they seem a bit distant 

but you are more worried about the questions your bothers are making Jumin answer 

“Jumin, you don’t have to listen to them”

“But MC, I want to” 

“haha see kid, he’s a good one” 

you were having the same old conversation with your brother when you heard them

“I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU” 

“no… is nothing like that” 

“NOTHING LIKE THAT??? ARE YOU SURE BECAUSE HERE IS THE PROOF” 

everyone turned to see what was happening 

your sister screaming at her boyfriend 

he had a piece of cake on his shirt 

and she looked just like that time you broke her favorite skirt when you were younger 

but this was serious 

“ARE YOU GOING TO STAY THERE AND NOT ADMIT IT??” 

“no, please calm down” 

“JUST SAY THAT YOU ARE SEEING OTHER GIRLS AND THATS IT” 

that turned all the alarms 

in a moment he was surrounded by your whole family 

your dad and brothers 

five big boys looking at him like he was the worst of the worst 

and him looking at them like he was begging for his life 

the next minutes are really tense 

nobody says nothing 

and no one moves a muscle 

Jumin switches between your eyes and the scene 

not knowing what to do 

he is a strong man but he doesn’t want to get involve in this 

“should we do… something?” 

“no… you just…. don’t do nothing”

you know how to handle this 

but you are waiting a bit 

just to scare that idiot 

so you don’t move until one of your bothers push him to the ground 

you move fast and step in the middle of them 

“Okay… no need of violence here boys”

you sound like this was a normal thing in your house 

but only happened once in the past 

“you idiot, leave this house and never come close to any of us or you are done. And you boys… just do something else” 

SAEYOUNG 

he loves fights more than he cares to admit 

but as long as they don’t involve him 

is a funny thing to watch 

drama is his thing 

would grab pop corn to see how people fight in front of him 

so when he sees that in the family reunion some of your cousins are having an argument he’s the first person to be there 

sadly he drags you there too 

they are having some sort of fight about this girl 

they both liked her 

but she was more like a player 

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?? SHE’S MINE” 

“OH THAT IS WHY SHE LET ME KISS HER IN THE PARTY?” 

“YOU ARE AN IDIOT” 

“YOU ARE THE IDIOT, SHE DOESN’T EVEN LIKE YOU”

Saeyoung looks in heaven 

and you are just bored 

somehow they start talking normal again 

but the boy beside you has other plans 

“so you are letting him take your girl?” 

and boom 

they start again 

“Saeyoung!! why?”

“I love this drama, I want to know more” 

they say more and more things 

not nice things 

until one of them punch the other 

they start a real fight now 

all your family is there now trying to stop them 

but it doesn’t seem to work

they are really pissed 

“This is your fault… you stop them” 

“Umm… how? I mean… wow I didn’t thought they were going to….sorry”

SAERAN 

it took him a couple times to feel comfortable at your house 

your parents were always so good with him 

but he was a bit cold at start 

now he’s like their son 

but this time your uncle and auntie are coming 

he doesn’t feel bad at all 

because how bad they can be if they are related to you 

also your parents proved how good they are 

maybe they were the same

and at start it seemed like that 

nice talk 

and funny laughs 

but as the day passed 

things got a bit intense 

your uncle was a bit drunk 

and he was talking no sense 

and suddenly he shouter other girls name 

your auntie of course asked him about it 

but he was like “ahh you don’t need to know” 

“I NEED TO, I AM YOUR WIFE” 

there was no way to stop your auntie 

she was angry 

and he was drunk 

“SHUT UP AND LET ME DRINK” 

“YOU ARE NOT DRINKING MORE, NOW TELL ME” 

Saeran was a bit… shocked 

of course that is something you never expect 

they continued with the screams 

your parents stopped they efforts on trying to stop them 

“IS NOT MY FAULT THAT YOU DOESN’T LOVE ME” 

“WELL YOU IDIOT IS YOUR FAULT BECAUSE YOU ARE AN IDIOT THAT IS CHEATING” 

Saeran was getting a bit tense by the situation

so you took him to other room 

“is okay to let them fight?” 

“yeah… they will end soon and leave” 

“oh…that is… sad” 

he was really concerned about them 

and the whole situation made him feel sad too

but your parents entered the room too 

“Maybe we can go eat something outside… they will be like that for a moment” 

your dad had the best idea 

and that made Saeran feel way better

Okay… sorry because 1) the first ones have that… that thing, I write those two in my notes and ended like that and 2) because the last two are really short and bad :(