#but then my mom texts me like “is that legal???” and I remember that I am not crazy it's residency training that's insane lol

[prince-liest]

Slowly but surely, I got some more writing today. I'm hoping that now that I'm getting used to the orientation schedule, I'll be able to finish at least another two chapters of Once Bitten in the next 2.5 weeks before orientation ends, because if not, then I probably won't be able to write during my EM-Peds rotation. I think ortho after that is "only" 50-60 hour weeks, so maybe then?

I dunno, it just feels really weird to know that I'm hitting that part of my training where inpatient rotations are going to be 72 hour weeks (12 hours a day, 6 days a week) and it's a genuinely relevant part of our orientation to be reminded that we have to let our attendings know if we're going to break the 80 hour workweek limits. We get lectures on wellness from admin people who have never worked more than a 40 hour week, and then the psych program director comes by and says, "Yeah, no, you guys are going to be unwell. You will get burned out, and when you meet all of the clinical criteria for depression and think that you need medication, here's my personal number. Call me with whatever you need, and I will also be able to tell you whether you're depressed or if it's residency," because that's the actual triage he can offer given that the problem with resident wellness isn't that we don't know how to take care of ourselves, it's that we're worked to the bone across the board.

Isn't it just wild that this is, like... considered normal?

Anyway, I know that I'll be able to handle it, I appreciate that the actual social culture of our program is full of nice people, and I'll get through it and it's temporary, etc, etc, but I just really want to finish Once Bitten before I get too tired to write for another extended period of time. I don't mind taking breaks from writing, but I like for my projects to be finished so they're not hanging out at the back of my mind. So that's my goal!

[todayisafridaynight]

ik a mention rgg nerfing ttm's features when modelin sawashiro every five minutes but they really had to cause aint no way in hell would a been intimated by this bruv if they didnt

[truckstoptigers]

sometimes i feel bad because i feel... angry w/ my youngest brother's mom. she's a much better mother to him than she was when she was still with our father, but i can't seem to forgive her. not when she almost backhanded my brother for accidentally spilling his toys and came within inches of doing the same to me because i darted in front of him when she raised her hand. not when i saw how absolutely abysmally she treated my brother because he's autistic (and so am i).

not when if it weren't for her, our father never would've gone to court & gotten custody in the first place, and i never would've been abused. he held me once when i was born & promptly fucked off after until i was four, and my brother's mom convinced him to take my mom to court. he signed away his rights on my big sister, and i was born just a year or two after her. he had no intention of being a father to any of us, and she found that out the hard way.

i hate her sometimes for being the one that actually convinced him to fight for custody. i can't help it. i kind of hate the judge that looked at his track record & somehow thought he was a worthy father that deserved time with the child he made explicitly clear he didn't want. she was not nice to me in the years that they were together. she screamed at me often if i did anything wrong/anything she just didn't like, & i got that from him too. i never once felt safe in that house.

she doesn't know what he did to me. she doesn't know how fucking lucky she is that he wasn't interested in my brother like that. i made sure the question never even came up. i wanted to be enough for him, because if i was, then nothing would happen to my littlest siblings on his side. she has no idea that he took so long to put me to bed every night i was there (mom got 80%, he got 20%) because he was raping me. sometimes he'd even sneak in a couple hours later just to wake me up and do it again.

all while she was just down the hall in the living room.

she was right there and she has no idea. i HOPE she has no idea. if she knew and didn't say anything, it'd kill me. at that point in time i wouldn't have put it past her to know & not tell anyone, especially my mom, about what he was doing to me. i wouldn't put it past his next girlfriend either, who gave me my little sister. i can only pray to a god i don't think i believe in that he didn't do the same to my little sister. it would kill me. but as far as i saw, he didn't try.

my brother & his mom live in kentucky now. she's with a much kinder man who loves my brother the way a father should and i couldn't be more grateful to him for that, even though i've never met the man. her relationship after our father was abusive, and even though i can't say i like her, i do firmly believe that she didn't deserve that. no one does. i have half a mind to think our father hit her too, because he hit me. i don't know. i'm just glad she and my brother are safe.

i don't think i can forgive her. i wish i could, but i can't find it in myself to do it. i remember too much. we were still living with her when he started trafficking me. didn't she think it was weird that he would always be driving me places & returning alone, often not leaving again for hours? didn't she wonder where i was? what did he tell her when she asked? DID she even ask?

did she care enough to ask?

[deadsetobsessions]

Sea Cryptic! Danny AU- Pt. 7

[Pt.1] [Pt.2] [Pt.3] [Pt.4] [Pt.5] [Pt.6] [Pt.8] [Pt.9] [Pt.10]

“I’m having a child.”

Danny stared at Batman.

“…Uh, congrats?”

Batman whips out a stack of paper and a pen. “It’s you. Sign here and initial the highlighted spots.”

Danny instinctively, from years of dealing with Vlad, whacked the stack right out of Batman’s hands and into the bay. He doesn’t even feel bad about littering this time because, “Begone, fruitloop!”

Wait, no, that’s not what he meant.

“I mean- I have parents!”

“Not for long.” Batman muttered and then did a double take. “You have parents? How?”

Danny gasped, placing a hand on his chest to clutch his metaphorical pearls. He ignored Batman’s mutters. Everyone knows the vigilante has an adoption problem. At least, everyone who lived in Gotham did, as everyone who didn’t was somehow convinced that he “worked alone” or some bullshit like that. “Are you naturally this insensitive or were you dropped on your head as a baby? Obviously I had to come from somewhere.”

“They’re still… alive?”

“And kicking,” Danny said, inching away from yet another rich weird guy trying to adopt him. “Mostly the kicking part, though.” He said, remembering the sparring sessions. His mom could kick his as six ways to Sunday with nothing but jiu-jitsu and still have time to work in the lab.

“I see.”

“I’m charging you extra for the emotional upheaval. I have trauma regarding rich people trying to adopt me.”

Batman sullenly handed over a thousand.

“Sweet. There’s a group of shades down here asking if you could find their murderer. Apparently the serial killer is still at large.” Danny pointed.

“Of course. Tell me everything.”

The adoption papers disappeared as Batman went into detective mode.

Danny shoved the cash into his glowing chest and breathed a sigh of relief. He needed to make rent this month so it was a windfall running into Batman.

——

“Hey, Tim?”

Tim woke up from his Power Nap. “Huh?”

“Phantom’s complaining that Batman kept trying to adopt him.”

Tim blinked. “Uh.. what does that have to do with me?”

Danny stared at him, a patiently amused smile on his face. “Just in case the rumor about the Wayne’s sugar-daddy-into the Bats was a thing. Other than that, we might have to confront Batman to get him off of Phantom’s back. ”

“You… want to confront Batman.”

“Hey, man, Phantom’s a friend and it’s ride or die.” Danny snickered. It was literally die, with his Phantom side of things. He held two fists up, and wound them, like Popeye right after eating spinach or something. “And if Batman bothers Phantom, we ride at dawn.”

“Batman doesn’t come out unless it’s dark, though? Or for the Justice League.” Tim grinned. He mentally classified Danny under his “to go to” list. That’s where Bart, Bernard, Cassie, Kon, and Garfield were. If he starts shit, he could count on them to have his back and cause even more shit. Danny, wanting to fistfight Bruce over the man making Phantom uncomfortable? He absolutely is making that list.

“Then we ride at, like, dusk. Or uh, like 10PM. I gotta get my beauty sleep.”

“You’ll definitely need it,” Tim inconspicuously texted the group chat, which quickly blew up.

“Shut up,” Danny playfully shoved Tim. “Wait, can Batman even legally adopt? Isn’t being a vigilante illegal? And how can he adopt someone dead?”

Tim dramatically flailed and splayed over Danny’s carpeted living room. “Dunno about his identity,” he lied to Danny, like a liar. “But Gotham has a bunch of laws for the undead/restored to life people so there’s probably enough gray space there.”

Danny spluttered. “You guys have undead friendly laws?”

“Yeah, geht do you think Grundy just chills out? Plus, we have like a minor resurrection event every few years. It usually doesn’t stick but sometimes it does. Bruce pushed for those laws when Jason came back to life, except he doesn’t actually want people to know he’s like, alive.”

“Jason died?” Danny blinked. Well, that would explain the vibes. “Huh. So what’s up with his rank vibes then?”

“Rank vibes?” Tim pressed record on his phone.

Danny nodded. “Yeah, you know how Phantom’s got like a really chill green vibe?” Inwardly, Danny snickered at his pun. Chill. Yeah, he meant that very literally. “Jason’s got kind of a rank green vibe. He’s kind of stinky? Definitely never introduce him to Phantom.” Danny’s senses got worse in his ghost form.

“Jason regularly showers, though?!”

“Not smell! Like, a spiritual smell?”

“You can smell souls?!” Tim sat up. “Bro, you’re a meta?!”

“Uh.” Danny hesitated. “Yeah. I can smell souls. It’s a thing. Everyone from my town can do it.”

“What?!” Tim paused. “Wait, can Phantom smell souls?”

“Yeah. We’re, uh, from the same town.”

“Danny, what the fuck?”

“Hey, don’t look at me like that, you’re the one with a soul-sick brother! Not to mention, you’re kinda stinky too!”

“Hey!”

“Soul-stinky nerd man!”

——

“I stink?!” Jason spluttered out, extremely offended.

“The Lazarus pits. He’s most likely smelling traces of Lazarus pit on you, you imbecile.”

“We need to speak to Phantom. This instant.”

“I dunno, B. Danny sounded like he was gonna break your face if you bothered Phantom anymore.” Dick snickered.

“Yeah,” Tim chimed in, from his seat in front of the Bat-computer. “He was pretty serious.”

“Are we just gonna glaze over the fact that they’re from the same town?!” Stephanie exclaimed, practicing her moves on a training dummy.

“How does that even work? What does that mean? I thought Phantom was an immortal?” Duke asked.

“We also can’t rule out time-travel.” Barbara slammed her baton into a training dummy, twisting her wheelchair in an agile maneuver that left the dummy on the floor.

“No bothering Phantom.” Cass proclaimed.

“That’s quite right. You all have a warm dinner sitting above your cave and should it remain uneaten, I assure you that sherbet Sunday and crêpe Tuesday shall be canceled.” Alfred stepped in. The Bats, threatened, scrambled to ditch their gear and go upstairs.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for telling my best friend I'm in love with her mother?

I (18m) have been friends with this girl (I'll call her S for this, 18f) forever. I can’t remember a time when we weren't friends. We've always spent a lot of time at each other's houses, though more at hers as her family is wealthy and has a really nice place with an in-ground pool... and also her mom just makes the best snacks lol

Her mom and I have always had a good rapport. She's a funny lady, charismatic, kind, and did I mention the bomb-ass snacks? I had a sort of a puppy love crush on her as a kid, but as we've gotten older the feelings have only gotten stronger. Meanwhile, S has had a crush on me since middle school. She isn't subtle, but she hasn't confessed and I haven't brought it up because I'm not interested and I don't want to hurt her or lose her as a friend. S has caught me checking her mom out a few times, one time even walking in on me in the bathroom while I was trying to lowkey check out her mom in the pool through the window. I don’t think she ever put together what was going on, though.

I never planned on acting on my feelings for her mom, but since her dad took off, I'm pretty sure I've been getting flirty vibes from S's mom? I might be seeing what I want to see instead of what's there, but like... Okay, so, this summer she's been paying me to do some of the housework her husband used to take on. Mowing the lawn and stuff. And S's mom will come out with just a towel on to tell me I missed a spot. To me, that seems flirty.

I never thought I'd have a chance, but now that it seems I might, I kind of wanna go for it? I mean, I'm 18 now, so it's legal, so I don't see why it would be a problem? But I didn't want to shoot my shot while S is entirely in the dark, so I sat her down and explained. We were hanging out around her pool and her mom wasn't home, I figured it was a good time. I started by finally acknowledging her feelings but gently telling her she just wasn't the girl for me. Then I said straight up "I'm in love with your mom."

S just kinda stared at me? Then she just said "dude, what the fuck" and yeah. Yeah, I know, what the fuck, but the heart wants what it wants, right? I said that I was pretty sure her mom had been making moves since S's dad left. I've never heard S laugh the way she did at that, it was kind of scary. She asked if I was serious and then told me I need serious help. I was a bit hurt by that but I know I'm asking a lot so I didn't go off about it. I just said yes I'm serious and wanted her blessing to act on it. She didn't say anything. She just got up and left, and pushed me into the pool as she passed.

She wouldn't talk to me except to tell me to go home and it's been weeks now but she won't answer my texts. I think I've just lost the two most important women in my life (don't tell my mom she's third pls.) Am I the asshole here? I know it might be wrong, but I can’t help it if I'm in love with Stacy's mom. :(

What are these acronyms?

[reiderwriter]

♦️Pardon The Way That I Stare♦️

Chapter 8 of That's What You Get

Prev Chapter || Next Chapter

Summary: After some encouragement from Emily and Penelope, you try to explain your reaction to Reid at work. Until you find yourself reacting to him more and more, distracting you from doing your job. Warnings: Alcohol consumption, mentions of sex, Reader is just really horny for Reid (REAL). A/N: We're getting closer to the climax and I'm SO beyond excited for everyone to read the next chapter because I think it's going to be so good but also so evil and I enjoy that very much. If you like the series, let me know by dropping a message in the replies or in my inbox, and follow my other account @reiderslibrary for just fics from me without my random thoughts and bullshit in between... You can find masterlist here, and the series masterlist is linked here!

You were stupid, there was no other logical explanation for it. Staring at Emily on your doorstep as your brain stood there, slack-jawed and wide-eyed, trying to process the words she’d just said to you, there was really only one thing running through your brain.

“I’m a fucking dumbass.” you groaned, your hands coming up to your head as you pondered your next move.

“There’s no chance that you’ll believe this was all just one practical joke that I’ve been playing to test how quickly you could turn up at my place with wine?” You looked up hopefully at Emily, and she returned with a concerned look of her own, that silently communicated ‘No, I wasn’t born yesterday.’

“Worth a shot, come on in.” You opened the door wider for Emily and grabbed a second glass from your kitchen to share the wine before she could start her interrogation.

“So,” she prompted as soon as you returned to the couch, and you sighed heavily as you nodded and began.

“I married Reid in Vegas.”

“Yes, I got that from the text, what I didn’t get was why, what, when, where, who, and how! Question words, Y/N, important information if you please.” You chuckled at Emily’s tone, and you melted a little into your couch. Just like with Penelope, letting others know had comforted you. You’d never been one to bottle up your emotions, and you couldn’t exactly tell Spencer how you felt about him, so your dearest FBI-assigned best friends were a welcome compromise.

“You promise not to tell anyone? Penelope knows, and so does Rossi, but no one else does. Well maybe someone else but I don’t know who that someone is - long story.” You rambled, still aware of the promise you’d made with Spencer, and knowing that you’d actually broken it twice now.

“Scouts honor, now get on with it.”

“You were never a scout.”

“That’s beside the point, Y/N, now spill!”

“Do you remember when we finished the case in Vegas last weekend, and we all wanted nothing more than to go home, but the jet was landed?” A small nod encourages you to continue. “Well, Reid offered to show me this bar that he thought I’d enjoy, and honestly, I’d had a tense phone call with my mom and was feeling a bit crappy, so I thought a drink wouldn’t hurt.”

“A drink might get you married though.” You glared at her at the interruption, and she held her hands up in surrender as you continued.

“The bar was amazing, and he noticed I was feeling down, and I don’t know, he just has this way of making me feel calm and fully together. I was a mess earlier that day, but with like one short conversation, he kind of turned my mood entirely around.” You flushed then and decided to ignore Emily’s next interjection.

“Oh god…”

“Apparently after that, we went to a casino or another bar or something, but honestly, I drank so much I don’t remember any of that. But at some point, we bought a very expensive engagement ring, made our way to the Bureau for Wedding Licences and then a chapel and now we’re legally married.” You tried to end your story there, but Emily wasn’t having that.

“No, you’re not stopping there. You said you kissed, and you ruined everything, and you mentioned a wedding night in that text, do not shortchange me now, Y/L/N. Wait, should I be calling you Reid now?” She grinned at the flush that coated your entire body with that, and you buried your head in your pillows.

“Okay, okay. Well, we’re trying to figure out who the witnesses to our wedding were. We know that two team members were there, and Penelope was one of them, but Spencer doesn’t know that yet. Again, another long story.” You let your words sink in as you realize the tangled mess you’d spun for yourself in the last week.

“We spent some time researching our options on Saturday night, to see if we could get our memories to come back and I might not have left until a couple hours ago?”

“Y/N! You’ve been banging Reid for the last three days?”

“No! No, nothing like that, we didn’t- well, we did just not at his house, but also I don’t think you want to hear about that.” You spilled all the details about your last few days with Reid, his touches, his care, the dates you’d been on, the way you’d wrapped yourself around each other in your sleep, but still woken up to an empty bed, all the way up to that fateful kiss and your stupid reaction.

“So there, I’ve ruined it.” Emily looked at you pityingly and started to say something when your doorbell rang a second time.

“That’s reinforcements,” Emily said, standing and moving to greet the newcomer herself. You were relieved when Penelope Garcia came marching through the door, ice cream in hand and mouth already moving.

“Have no fear, your guardian angel is here. Emily texted me en route and I disentangled myself from my plans with a now very suspicious Derek Morgan to race over here. I think I managed to throw him off the scent by mentioning my ukelele lessons with Sam though, he always kinda glazes over whenever I go into heavy details about that.” She perches herself on the couch beside you and starts organizing things on the table, pulling out three tubs of ice cream and locating adequate spoons in the drawer.

“Pen, you didn’t have to do all this…”

“Yes, I did. Emily tell her I did. I need all the details that you suddenly remembered Y/N or I’m going to go crazy, and let me tell you, I am not an effective tech analyst when my mind is all aflutter with wonder.” You smiled awkwardly at the situation. You’d glossed over the details of your wedding night with Emily, going no further than insinuating that you’d had sex, but now the pressure was on.

“We just want to help you, Y/N. And we’re morbidly curious.” Emily joined in. Both of their eyes were trained on you in a hopeful expression, leaving the ball firmly in your court as you fought down the embarrassment rising from the back of your throat.

Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath.

“I think it was the best sex I’ve ever had in my life,” was all you managed to squeak out before they were reacting, asking twenty questions each in the space of a minute as your body both caught fire at the memory and shrunk down to the size of an ant at the attentions.

“Calm down, calm down, I’ll tell you more but you have to calm down.” They stilled themselves and bit their tongue, and you continued.

“Well I don’t want to get into the, uh, specific details, but let’s just say that he’s very good at putting theory into practice. That or he’s actually very experienced in sex and nobody ever realized, because the things he was doing were like, expert-level maneuvers. I didn’t think I was that flexible until he was hitting from-”

“OKAY not that much detail, this is still Reid we’re talking about.”

“Sorry,” you giggled sheepishly and decided to spare them all the details. “All I’ll say is that we both finished multiple times. And I might have stupidly let him finish inside of me.”

“Y/N, you should know better! Safe sex is really important, especially if you’re fucking in a hotel room in Vegas.” Emily half-chastised you, but you could hear the humor in her voice and just rolled your eyes.

“Yeah, well, I wasn’t exactly having sex with a stranger, I was having sex with my husband.” That got you a teasing cooing from the two women and you buried your face in your hands again.

“So he’s your husband now, is he? How long have you been married? Like three days?”

“Five. Fuck, we’re running out of time.” The length of time that had elapsed since you’d walked down the aisle shocked you as soon as you’d acknowledged it, and you downed your glass of wine as your brain ran rampant.

“Rossi said that if we didn’t tell everyone in a week, he’d do it for us so we didn’t lose our jobs, and we need to file for an annulment soon so we don’t have to get a divorce but there’s like… a one week window, and it’s already been five days. Shit. shit shit shit shit.”

“Hold on, Y/N, you said he kissed you earlier today, right? I wouldn’t exactly recommend getting married and then dating your partner, but it sounds like you both at least like each other enough to pursue this relationship, why would you need an annulment?” Emily’s confusion only served to remind you of the reason they were both here in the first place.

“That’s the problem. I think he thinks I don’t like him like that. And it’s totally my fault that he thinks that, because when he kissed me I didn’t react well and then he just left, and I think I ruined everything.”

“Define not reacting well,” Emily probed further.

“I pushed him away and slammed the door in his face. But that was only because I remembered everything that happened between us on our wedding night, and remembering the most satisfying experience of your entire existence while face-to-face with the man who you’d hitherto never thought capable of that, and having it occur in like 0.02 of a second is a paralyzing experience.”

“Oh my god, you’re an idiot,” Penelope whispered from her side of the couch and you nodded heartily in agreement.

“And what, he just left?” Emily asked again, tone incredulous with all the information she was receiving.

“Well when I’d had my moment and realized what I’d done, I opened the door again and he wasn’t there. And that was only like a minute later. He messaged me this after he left.” You grabbed your phone and opened it up, showing the girls the message and noting their winces in reaction to his words.

“It’s bad, right?”

“No! No, this is salvageable! You just have to… be brave?” Penelope didn’t seem to believe her own words as you pulled your phone back and poured yourself another glass, ready to drown your sorrows once again. Emily was a little more confident.

“Okay. Here’s what you do. I’m going to talk to Rossi for you tomorrow morning at work, get him to hold off on his big reveal while you go and explain everything to Spencer. How does that sound?”

“That sounds doable, I guess.” You sniffled a little, rereading the text having made your emotions jump back up to the surface again as you fought off tears.

“Brilliant. And then you can stay married and continue having wonderful sex, and make some genius babies and make me their godmother.” You threw a pillow at Penelope that she was just too slow to catch, and filled the rest of your evening with wine, ice cream, and good company.

–X–

Emily sends you a thumbs-up text after she talks to Rossi the next morning, and a weight falls off your shoulder. One step down, one to go right?

You’d arrived at work probably a little bit too early, having spent the night tossing and turning and playing every possible outcome in your mind over and over again. It had been half an hour before the next person turned up, and Hotch had only given you a confused half-nod in greeting before secluding himself in his office. Rossi had been the next to arrive, about twenty minutes later, and he too had questioned your presence but not in so many words.

“Early morning, Y/N? Settling into new routines in your newly-wed life, are we?” You’d stuttered out an answer but he was halfway up the stairs by the time you finished, obviously meaning the comment to be rhetorical.

Morgan, Emily, and JJ were all next, showing up only a few minutes before your shift officially started, but there was no sign of Reid, and you were running out of time - and privacy - to talk to him.

Then at 9 sharp the elevator doors opened, and from your seat at your desk, you watched him step out, feeling your tongue grow thick and your heart beat faster as he made his way into the office. This wasn’t how you were supposed to feel, this was cartoonish like a teenage boy in a brat pack movie watching the hottest girl in the school walk down a corridor. This was Spencer, your husband, and your best friend, and here you were feeling giggly and shy.

You almost felt like texting Emily back, telling her if you started giggling and twirling your hair, to take you out back and put you out of your misery.

He didn’t make eye contact with you as he settled into his morning routine, pulling off his scarf, putting his bag away, and then moving to the kitchen to fill up on his morning coffee. You did your best to covertly follow him, trying not to alert the others to your heart eyes as you looked at him and forgot everyone else.

“Spencer, can we talk?” You blocked off the entry to the kitchen as he spun around to face you, a bittersweet smile playing on his lips.

“Sure, Y/N, what’s up?” His voice didn’t betray any of his emotions, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes, and you could tell you’d hurt him the day before. You took a deep breath and walked closer to him as he continued making his coffee, again refusing to look you in the eyes as he continued as normal.

“It’s about yesterday-”

“We probably shouldn’t talk about this here, right?” He cut you off in a whisper, his voice sending shivers down your spine as you gripped the countertop beside him for support. You’d gotten closer than you expected at first, somehow magnetically drawn to him, your body language just as open to him as he was closed to you.

“I think we need to, Spence. I’m sorry, I panicked.”

“No, it’s my fault, I shouldn’t have done that-”

“Spencer I got my memory back.” His eyes widened and he blossomed in front of you again, attention entirely on you now as he took in your words.

“You did?”

“Partially, only the… Only the memories of your hotel room.” His eyes darkened in understanding, moving unconsciously closer to you, placing a hand next to yours on the counter as he effectively trapped your body in.

“Oh. Those memories.”

“Yeah. So you can see why I was a bit distracted.” He nodded at your words, but he was still coming closer to you now. Your body felt weak underneath you, entirely reacting to his closeness, the warmth rolling off his body, the electricity sparking between you despite him not touching you anywhere.

“Distracted?” His eyes darted to your lips as he grew closer, and your legs chose that exact second to give in underneath you.

Your knees hit the ground uncomfortably, as he reacted to your sudden movement, trying to grab you and pull you up, but only managing to grab the hand that was already holding the counter above you, awkwardly twisting and pinning your arm up.

“Oh my god. Oh my god, I’m sorry, I think… I think I should go,” you were face to face with his crotch, and looking up at him in that position was certainly giving you unwholesome thoughts. He jumped back as you scrambled out from underneath him, begging whatever god was out there that none of the profilers you worked with would question the dazed state that would follow you for the rest of the day.

–X–

Despite your need to straighten things out with Spencer, you’d avoided him for the rest of the day, and, having been called out on a case, you spent the better part of the week avoiding him as well. After literally falling for him, you’d decided that maybe in your newly weakened lovesick stage, it was best for everyone on the team that you try to stay as clear-headed as possible.

Not everyone on the team, though, agreed. He’d trailed after you like a lost puppy for days now, and you wanted nothing more than to give in and throw yourself in his arms. But there was a murderer on the loose and you needed to give your entire attention to it.

He’d tried multiple times to get you to help him with some work, suggesting that you go through some files together, or check out one of the witnesses together, much to your discomfort. Luckily, Hotch had picked up on some of the discomfort between the two of you and had kept you somewhat apart, not asking questions.

But the last night on the case, he’d cornered you, and you had to work twice as hard to extricate yourself from the situation.

“Y/N, why are you avoiding me?” He’d caught you alone in the hotel lobby, pulling you into a dark corner without much foot traffic to confront you. “Is it because of the kiss? Because the way you talked about getting your memories back the other day made me think we were okay about that again, but if we’re not then I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable.”

“It’s not the kiss, Spence, and we really shouldn’t be talking about this here.” You tried to turn and leave, but he grabbed your elbow and spun you back into him, bodies pressed flush up against each other now.

“Spencer let go, someone could see us.” Even you knew your voice sounded half-hearted, not really wanting him to stop touching you at all.

“If it’s not the kiss, then why are you acting like I don’t exist?” His face was close again, and you felt your body reacting the same way it had done in the staff kitchen. Your knees went weak again, but he was prepared this time, holding you up in his arms, gently maneuvering you so you were pinned against the wall.

“Is this it?” He asked, letting his hands trail over your body as you whimpered under his touch. “Your reactions?”

Your brain was empty of a response, so you just held still, desperate to see what he would do or say next.

“You know, the deadline on our annulment has passed. It’s been over a week now,” he said, his forehead resting on yours as he brought his hips ever closer.

You were the one that gave in first, pushing your head up to capture his lips in a crushing kiss, needing him the way you needed water, food, and sleep. You’d deprived yourself for so long, and now you were hungry, ravenous, and he was the same. Your lips opened, and soon his tongue was snaking in, caressing you in ways both familiar and new, and your entire body heated up to its boiling point.

You moaned under his touch as his hands wandered, silently begging for more of him. Your brain only kicked back into gear when you registered the sound of voices about to turn the corner. Quickly pushing him off, you pulled yourself together just as JJ and Morgan found you there.

“Y/N, Reid, Garcia got a positive ID on our unsub, we’re about to go SWAT his house, get your gear ready.”

Either you were very good at masking your emotions and the physical outburst you’d just shared, or Morgan was just too caught up in getting his job done that he didn’t look too closely at the way Reid’s tie was half undone, your lips were pink and swollen and that both of you were breathing abnormally. Whichever it was, you were just thankful that neither of them questioned you as you all left to go and do your job.

–X–

To your detriment, you’d avoided him on the jet back as well, choosing to wrap a blanket around yourself and sit in a single seat at the end of the plane rather than risk his hands on you again like last time. You already couldn’t be trusted around him, and you wanted to take no risks with everyone else present.

He’d sat in your line of vision purposefully though, making eye contact every now and then to remind you that he was still watching you. You’d feigned exhaustion and pretended to sleep in the end, despite the flight duration only being a measly two hours. He’d let you exit the plane alone though, and said a general goodbye to the team upon landing, giving you a second look and wave before taking himself home.

The ball was firmly in your court.

“What the hell was all that?” Emily whispered in your ear as you both watched him leave alone. “What happened to the plan?” You smiled awkwardly, not wanting to admit how fucking horny the man made you feel, and how it was affecting your work performance so badly that avoiding him was the only way to keep your job.

“We had the talk, everything’s fine.”

“The two of you aren’t walking out of here hand in hand, so obviously everything is not fine, Penelope, tell me I’m wrong.” The other woman had stumbled into the bullpen upon landing and Emily had immediately drawn her into your hushed conversation as soon as Morgan had made to go home as well.

“What’s going on, hot stuff, I thought you’d be enjoying every second of your marital bliss by now.”

“He’s too distracting.” You whisper shouted at him. “He kissed me again last night and I almost let him take me in the lobby. And Morgan and JJ almost caught us, so yeah, he’s too distracting.”

“Oh god, you’re horny for Reid.” Emily laughed slightly at the implication as if it had just dawned on her and you hadn’t had an entire conversation where you fawned about how good in bed he was.

“Yes, I’m horny for Reid, okay, now please stop laughing, I’m in pain.”

“Well you know there’s only one solution, right?” Penelope said as if it were clear as day. “You need to go have sex with him again. See if you can be normal with him when you’re not so pent up.”

“I don’t know, Pen….” You were still staring at the elevator doors, even after it had been so long since he’d left.

“What is there to not know? You like him, he likes you, you’re married. Like you said before, it’s not like you’re having sex with a stranger, he’s your husband.” Having your words thrown back in your face gave you the boost of confidence that you needed, and you sprang from your chair.

“Okay.”

“Okay?” Emily repeated and you looked back down at the two women.

“Okay, I’m gonna… I’m gonna go seduce my husband, I guess?” You turned on your heel and left, marching out to the sounds of whoops and cheers from the two women behind you.

🏷️ @w-windyy @multifandom-on-the-side @reidandhotchsgirl @babybluecakes @hugyourlungs @prentissesredtanktop @reidscaffeine @bethanyhaas01 @average-sunflower @academiareid @sailortongue @daddy-dotcom @high-functioning-cosplayer @anniewhalelover @abbyshmaby @isabel-ffl-xoxo @sujan39 @frxcless @bluestuesday @busy-buzzing @breadbrobin @maxinehufflepuffprincess @l0v3cam @booksandwonderlands @myescapefromthislife @ferrjulie @scoobydoopoo @aelinismyqueen @littlesingingbean @jamiemuscatosslut @xohoneybun @anchovy89freya @dysphoricsanity @ghostheartbeat @casss2111 @rebloggiest-reblogger @wishyoudaskme @imawhoreforu @academiacoffeelover @softservepunk @andiebeaword @r-3dlips @wakaladjarin @ratbastardchild @mcira @danika1994 @stargurl99 @whovianwholikesgirls @its-not-too-late-for-coffee

[dirtylittlefairytales]

Don't play with fire | - Part 2 - |

Autors Note: I recommend to read Part 1 first. This is going to be a rollercoaster, but I hope you like it. I liked writing it and I'm really happy I started writing again. Now I try writing smut too. If you like the song 'Unholy from Sam Smith' listening to it later on, made the scene better. At least I listened to it while I wrote the scene.

Also as before, english is not my first language, I hope I corrected most mistakes.

Summary: After having a panic attack and realizing that Cooper could be the Butcher., you tried living your life normally again, until you got a text from an unknown number. Should you go to the police? Half a year later everything is normal again, at least you think it is.

-> Writing in 'italic' is supposed to be the your thoughts

Warnings: Dark!Fic, Describing of a Panic attack, Age Gap! (Legal), Swearing! Praise! Alcohol consumption!, drugs!, bit of Smut, Angst!, Arguing

Rating: R

Word count: 7,4k

Tagging: @a-movie-that-youve-never-seen, @amethystblackkchaos, @hereforthehitsbaby, @waywardtigersandwich

That was your first panic attack you had in your life. You spend that day at the hospital, your mom picking you up in the evening. She didn’t pry for information, although she was very worried. When you got back to her house and sat in the living room over a hot tea, you told her everything– Though more like everything she could know.

You told her about the concert, how you weren’t feeling well because of the crowd of people. So you went home early, then your bike got stolen and your boss fired you after some nasty words. You said you didn’t know how you ended up at the hospital, you were just aimlessly walking and then woke up in the hospital. Remembering a lot of concerned voices around you but nothing more. 

Seeing that you were near tears again your mom started to hug you for several minutes. You let it all out. All those bottle up emotions of the day. You just didn’t know what to do with all these emotions. It was too much, like you weren’t in control anymore.

“You know sweety, you should move closer again. Ah no disagreeing! Think about it. You know my grandparents also had their apartment. Please consider it, I worry about you.” she said, squeezing your shoulders. “You could save so much money!”

“Okay mom. I promise I’ll think about it, but not today. Let me find a new job first.” you tried avoiding the situation. She nodded

“Well, come one you can sleep in your old room today. Tomorrow I'll drive you to the mechanic so you can get your car back.”

“Thanks mom.”, she kissed the top of your head and pushed you towards the stairs. Shaking your head, you went up towards your old room. You could barely say no to anything, when it came to your mom. However, moving back was the one thing you didn’t want. It was stupid. You wanted to live independent and not in your moms apartment, where she probably wouldn’t even allow you to pay rent.

Stepping inside your room, everything looked as you last remembered it. Your mom tried to make it look like your old room. The big double bed near the window, with the one teddy bear on it. A small wooden closet near the wall. You closed the curtains on the window and went to bed. 

On the bathroom mirror you could see a bruise starting to form on your shoulder, where Cooper had gripped it. Clearly you couldn’t wear something without sleeves the next few weeks. 

Before going to sleep you checked your phone. You nearly forgot about it. There was nothing. No new contact, no number saved anywhere, everything was the same. You remember it clearly, he told you he had saved his number, but nothing. You checked your phone completely. Looked through everything, photos, deleted messages, deleted contacts. Still nothing.

‘Had he just been toying with you? Playing into your anxiety?’ After checking your phone for a second time you gave up. Maybe you imagined it, maybe you should just call it a day. As soon as you put your phone down and your head hit your pillow you were out. The events of that day were finally catching up with you. 

Waking up the next day, you still felt exhausted but overall better. True to her word, your mom drove you to the mechanic, and reminded you to visit her once a week like you promised her on her last birthday. No more work excuses. 

You promised, she was getting older and you did want to spend more time with her. She turned 59 this year. You loved her, she always did her best. Recently your grandfather passed away, leaving everything to your mom. Your grandparents had an estranged relationship with your mom, but seeing as she was their only child… she inherited it all. Now your mom could live without worries. She had a house and had a spare apartment. Seeing as they did have a bit of money.

Over the next week you wrote more job applications and went to a couple of interviews. Until you finally found yourself a new job. The company and boss seemed nice and you even got to work from home 10 days a month. Big plus and the pay was decent. You stayed in your apartment most of the time after the concert, fearing you might run into Cooper somewhere. You were quite paranoid. Fearing what he would do to you. Were you going to be next, if he was the Butcher? 

With the new job, came new energy and you started to live again. Step by step you were going outside, to the office, meeting your friends or going out for drinks. Still sometimes, you looked around you. Feeling like someone was staring holes in your back.

The second panic attack came when on a day you were working from home. A few weeks had passed and overall it started like a totally normal day, just a few calls. Not much work to do that day and around lunch time you still wore your pajamas. When you went into the kitchen to cook, you suddenly got a text message from an unknown number. First you thought it was someone from work. Though, the number didn’t seem familiar, so maybe it was a customer? However, none had your private number. You opened the message and instantly knew who sent that text.

–You should watch the news. Unfortunately I must tell you that Spencer didn't seem to be very grateful. Sorry to disappoint you sweetheart. –

You dropped your phone, heart pounding in your chest. ‘Sweetheart– Was that Cooper? So he did have your number… Why should you watch the news?’ Slowly you crept down, picking up your phone from the floor and almost dropping it again. Your hands trembled so much. 

After releasing a shuddering breath, you put your phone in your pocket and stepped towards your living room. One step at time, fearing you might fall if you walked too fast. Holding on to your sofa for dear life, you reached for the remote. 

Turning on the TV, unsure of what you would find, you switched programs until you found the news channel. Your hands still trembling, you took deep breaths trying to calm yourself.

‘Maybe you should sit down?’ – Letting yourself fall onto the sofa you turned up the volume. You saw a lot of police in the background then view switched to the reporter, who started speaking

“Yesterday in the early hours, two hikers found something horrible on their daily hiking trail. We waited for further information from the police and we can now announce that the Butcher has found yet another victim. This marks the 13th victim of the Butcher.”

Your knuckles around the remote turned white from anticipation, your fingernails digging in your own palm. ‘Maybe you should stop with the acrylic nails’ You held your breath. They showed a photo of a young man on the screen. It wasn’t someone you knew.

“The victim seems to be a young man named Spencer–” Spencer.. That was the name he told you that day. You didn’t even listen to the rest of the news. Completely blending everything out, thoughts racing in your head. A sob escaped you, your whole body shook uncontrollably. Gasping for air, crying, you had your second panic attack. It felt even stronger then the first one, but maybe it was only because you were more aware now. 

A part of you felt like you killed Spencer. You had thought he was just playing with your fear. It was your fault. ‘What have you done… you were right all along. Your sixth sense didn’t leave you. Why haven't you gone to the police? Were you an accomplice now? Why haven’t you told somebody? You could have saved him…’ The answer was simple. You hadn’t been 100% sure. Hell until now you thought you imagined most of his weird behavior, were overthinking it, writing it off as anxiety.

Helplessly you wandered around towards your kitchen in the search for a bag. When you finally found one, you sank down against your cupboard. Taking deep breaths with the plastic bag to calm your breathing. After calming down and just sitting silently in your kitchen for 20 minutes, you got up and shut down the TV.

‘You couldn’t go to the police, could you? What if they held you responsible for it because you didn’t say anything until now. You didn’t even know his last name or where he lived.’ 

A dry and humorless laugh escaped you. Putting your face in your hand, trying to come to terms with reality. Finally you pushed your hair back and grabbed your phone.

Pondering if you should write back? Try to get information from him and go to the police? Could you get burned even more? Thinking for another minute you decided against it. Panic and anxiety controlled your actions. Your course of action was going in the complete opposite direction. Simply deleting the message. Deleting the evidence, deleting a small part of your guilt– ‘out of sight out of mind’

You didn’t continue work that day, called in sick, went to bed and just stared aimlessly at the ceiling. Thinking about everything. About the concert, about every small detail you remembered. All the strange things you thought he did, but in the end you thought it was just your imagination. 

This was so fucked up, why were you still alive and not locked up in some basement? Why were you still alive? He knew that you knew. By sending you that text, it almost seemed like he wanted you to know. It hardly made any sense to you. After hours and hours of thinking and getting a headache from it, you fell asleep rather exhausted.

Not even a day after you even changed your number, telling your friends and mom another lie. The excuse, you got too many spam calls on it, seemed to be good enough. You were that anxious that you were one step away from moving back into your mom's house. However you didn't want to exaggerate.

Everything you did, to feel secure didn’t help. The anxiety remained. Whenever you went outside you felt like a scared mouse, always looking around, getting in your car and inside the office building as quickly as possible. At first you looked for a black van, then you remembered that stupid little you had the great idea to reveal to him what the profiler said. Of course he was not driving that van anymore. Perhaps now he drove around in a girly pink car.

‘How could you have been so stupid?’, you wanted to bang your head against the table. You even judged Lady Raven for her naivety and here you were telling the Butcher what car to not drive. What to look out for. You helped him even further, by not going to the police. He must have been laughing at you in his head. What a fucking joke. He also must have realized what effect he had on you, using that for his advantage. That for one you found him attractive, on the other hand you were intimidated by him. You were glad you were still alive, but it also made you nervous.

A month later and nothing new from the Butcher and no strange occurrences you finally started to relax again. Cooper and all that happened was slowly being pushed to the back of your head. 

Furthermore, you moved out of your apartment. You felt spooked and unsafe in it. Living near your mom again gave you a small aspect of security back. Fortunately your workplace had a second office 20 min from your mom's apartment. You rented some transporter and with the help of your friends you moved your stuff into your new apartment within a day. Moving out helped your anxiety a lot.

Another month later, you started to go out with your friends again, didn’t look around every time you left your apartment and became more yourself. Feeling confident. You were slowly going after your hobbies again. Running outside, Swimming, visiting your favorite coffee shop or reading in the park on a good day. All without turning around every few seconds. 

Before you knew it about half a year had passed and it all was a mere memory. You hadn’t had another panic attack in months. Your job was great, you met your friends a lot, also visited your mom every week and you could even listen to music with noise canceling headphones again. It felt normal. Back to how it was before. There was no news from the Butcher. No new Butcher victims, just some mom in a horrible car crash, but aside from that there was just the usual news. 

It was around January, a Saturday, your birthday to be exact, where it began to get strange again. Even though it started out as every other birthday since you were 21. First brunch with your mum, having some good quality time in your favorite restaurant. After that, you went home again and around the evening your friends should arrive to go out. You should be around 10 people later. Normally you would just celebrate at home, but your best friend Simon wanted to party. Who were you to deny his wishes?

You had been Besties for ages, growing up with the same situation of a cheating parent, pushed you even closer together. It was only after high school where you went in different directions. Simon wanted to study, whereas you started working. There he met his better half Sebastian, they’ve been together ever since and when the three of you did something together they treated you like their child. Which you found hilarious. You loved them.

So a couple of friends were coming over and around midnight you would go dancing. When you arrived back at your apartment you noticed something strange. There was a small gift in front of your door. You looked around if you saw any of your neighbors before picking it up and unlocking your door. 

It didn’t seem to have a name anywhere. ’Strange. Maybe it was from that elderly woman on the first floor?’, you wondered. You put it on your kitchen counter, saving it for later. Seeing as you had only a couple of hours left to clean and dress up. Also you needed your makeup done before simon came, or he would go way overboard with his ideas. You already agreed to let him do your hair and change your outfit, if it was “too boring”. 

That was another reason he wanted you to go out. Maybe you would finally find prince charming and you could go on cute double dates.  In his opinion, your ‘no dating’ phase had been going on too long. Looking at yourself in the mirror you felt good. You decided to go with some short black pants, and a glittery black top with an open back. 

By the time the others arrived you totally forgot about the present still laying wrapped on the kitchen counter. Friend after friend arrived, all of them overly punctual. Except for two individuals, as always. You didn’t mind, it was only Lucas, a friend of Sebastian, with his girlfriend Mary. You didn’t particularly like her, Mary needed to be in the spotlight, sometimes you felt like she tried to replace you in your friend group. None of the others saw this most of the time though. She was ‘little miss perfect’. Well, except for Simon and Lizzy, they did see her other side sometimes.  

Putting on some music after everybody sat down in the living room, you went back to the kitchen to help Simon with the last drinks. As Simon was putting away the cake he brought on the kitchen counter he saw the small present laying around. “Who is this from?”

You walked towards him to see what he ment. “Oh, I actually don’t know. I think one of my neighbors left it for me.” shrugging you picked it up.

“Do you know what's inside?”, You shook your head, now you’ve done it. Simon loved a good mystery, something to solve, something thrilling.

“Well then, open it! I’ll get the rest of the drinks.”, he ushered you towards the living room where the others sat around your coffee table. Climbing over the back rest of your couch, you made yourself comfortable in the corner. Simon brought your drinks while you started to open the present. “What is it?”

“It’s…” you frowned. Pulling out a simple small teddy bear, with something silver on top. It was made out of plastic, nothing overly special. It was a Keychain.

“I think that’s something I could put on my keychain? Wait there's more…” There was something shiny at the bottom of the present. 

“A bracelet– Oh, it’s really pretty.” You held it towards the light, it sparkled brightly. It was a simple silver bracelet, with a little charm in the center. A cute colorful flower. 

“Aww how cute. But it seems like it was more for a child? Are you sure your neighbors know your age?” Lizzy laughed and poked you. She was what you would consider your girl bestfriend.

“Or maybe they know that you still have stuffed animals in your bed”,joked Simon and threw a pillow at him. “Hey, be careful, my drink!”, he exclaimed with a feigned outrage. You flipped him off. It wasn’t your fault that you could only go to sleep, while holding something in your arm.

“Don’t pout, come I’ll put the bracelet on. Then we get you a tiara and you’ll be a Disney princess.”Lizzy grabbed the bracelet of your hand and put it on you.

“And put the keychain thing to your keychain–”, Marcus said as they all laughed at your embarrassment. You gave them a look. 

“Really guys, do I have to?”, you whined. 

“Yes, give it to me, I’ll do it. You open the rest of our presents. I promise you’ll like them”, winked Simon and held out his hand. Reluctantly you gave him the key chain and started to open the other presents.

The other presents were way better. You got some games, wine and everybody plus your mom pitched in to buy you a new bike. They hid it in front of your door before. You had tears in your eyes as you thanked each of them. ‘You had the best friends’ 

After eating the cake there was nothing to stop you guys from going all out. Drinking games, Beer pong, dancing or just talking. Later on, Lucas and his girlfriend arrived around 10. At this point everybody was in a good mood and slightly drunk. On seeing the bike, Mary was offended that they hadn’t waited for them to give me my present. 

You were about to tell her that it was your birthday, when some of the others already apologized to her. Telling her they didn’t know when they would show up.Annoyed, you refilled your drink, and went back to the friends playing beer pong. You needed to get drunk more to be nice to her. She wasn’t even here for 5 minutes and everything had to resolve around her.

The party got louder and better, all having a good time. Half an hour before you wanted to leave Mary came to you while dancing, grabbing your arm. “Is that the bracelet you got from your neighbor? The others told me about it. It's so cute. Can I try it on? I always wanted something like this…”, Mary asked you with her stupid baby voice. She immediately tried grabbing it off your arm.

“Ehm, hey wait a second. Here, but I want back before we go.”, You didn’t want any drama today. She nodded her head, waved you off and reassured you that you would get it back in a second.

You did, in fact, not get it back within a second and when you were standing in the queue to the club, you realized that she still had it on. Now it was too late.

Inside the club your friends surprised you, they booked a small area to sit with a table in the middle. Some drinks and bottles, waiting for you in the middle. 

“Guys! You shouldn’t have!”, you exclaimed happily. 

“Only the best for you Birthday girl!” Simon cheered! Hugging you tightly. Celebrating your birthday never felt better. You did a few shots and then most of you went off dancing to the dancefloor for the next hour.

Coming back from the dance floor you sat back down exhausted. Every time you went out you asked yourself the same question. ‘Why did you even decide to wear heels today?’ All of you started to get new drinks and someone suggested to spice things up and play an old fashioned “Truth or Dare”. Without truth of course, because it was way too loud.

You loved these games, it was always fun to watch. Though you didn’t like doing dares yourself, always feeling a bit shy and easily embarrassed. Now with the alcohol you did feel more comfortable. Maybe you would be up to do a dare. As if reading your thoughts Simon yelled at you over the table “Y/N”. 

You looked at him with pleading eyes, your confidence dwindling. “Noo.. Please…”

“No! I’ve waited enough. I dare you to go out there and make out with a stranger!” he exclaimed, pointing to the dance floor. Some of your friends whistled at that. 

Not waiting for you to think about it Simon stood up. “Do you trust me? We go dancing and I promise I won’t let some creep near you. Only handsome guys?” He held out his hand. You thought about it. If not now, when would you ever do it? You needed to get over your own shadow. Quickly you emptied your glass. For the extra bit of confidence.

“Pinky promise?” you asked, feeling bold suddenly and holding out your pinky. He looked surprised and instantly linked your pinky with his. “Promisee.” happily he dragged you to the dance floor. 

“What's your age range? Still someone around your age?” Simon asked, wiggling his eyebrows. 

You rolled your eyes at his behavior. “I don’t know. He can be older… but not above 50!!” Simon pretended to be shocked at your revelation, holding his hand above his heart. 

“Older men! How scandalous!”, you jabbed his side. 

“Let's go before I change my mind.”, you threatened. As you made your way on the dance floor they started to play one of your favorite songs ‘Unholy’.

“As information, I’m going back as soon as I see you enjoy yourself. I’m not watching a full make out session from you.”, he shouted in your ear. Laughing, you nodded. Fair enough, you wouldn’t want to watch him make out with Sebastian either. Both of you started dancing to the music, stealing glances at the people around you. 

More like Simon was looking around, whereas you tried not to think about the dare too much. 

You felt the people dancing all around you. Swinging your hips and moving your arms around your body, you felt yourself getting lost in the music. 

Simon and you danced yourself further into the crowd. Someone bumped against your ass, touching it. Before you could even react somebody else pushed that person away. It was not Simon, seeing as he was still dancing right before you. He raised a brow gesturing behind you. Mouthing the simple word ‘Hot’.

While dancing you turned your head slightly to look behind. You couldn’t see much, all the flickering colorful lights made it hard to recognize anything. He was tall, broad shoulders and his hair seemed to be a bit longer. You continued dancing, Simon nodding at you. ‘Fuck it. Simon better not be wrong’ You trusted his judgment. In the rhythm of the music, you danced backwards until you found yourself practically grinding your ass on him. He didn't move away, dancing in sync with you.

One of his hands placed itself on your hip, pulling you even more against him. You felt a sudden rush of confidence, as you continued swaying your ass against him and felt something hardened in his pants. It felt huge. 

Using this confidence boost and as a confirmation you spun around, still dancing. ‘Could you do it?’ Looking up at his face, sadly, the flashing lights still barely illuminated his face. Looking closer you could make out a few facial features. He also had a slight beard. Even without knowing his exact looks, you felt a certain pull towards him. ‘I bet he is handsome’ You were not one to make the first move, but you were going to fulfill your dare. 

‘You could do it. You looked fucking hot  and you wouldn't see him ever again.’ Dancing against him, his slight erection pressing against you, you took the initiative, steadying yourself with one hand at his shirt. 'Why wouldn’t he take the first step? Why did the women need to take control in this situation?' Until now you were always the more experienced partner, so it was nothing new for you. Even though you would like some change. Him taking control, getting rough or just doing what he wants… Maybe you read too many dark romance books.

Slowly wandering with the other hand up his chest, resting it at his neck. Slightly you pulled his head towards you to push your lips onto him. His lips were rough. At first it was just you moving your mouth against his. You felt him putting away his drink on the high table next to you. 

As he still did not reciprocate the kiss and for a second you thought that you read the signs wrong. At least you fulfilled your dare. However as soon as you broke the kiss and stepped back, he roughly grabbed your face, pulling you back into him. Surprised by the sudden force of his grip, a small yelp escaped you, before he silenced it with a kiss. The action instantly sent a warm fuzzy feeling down to your core. 

Kissing you hard, your mouths moved in sync. His large hand on the side of your face kept your head in place. You winced slightly when he bit your lip, but he hardly seemed to notice. He tried to slip his tongue between your lips, but you denied it. 

Trying to gain control of the kiss and situation. You heard a low grumble from him, he seemed discontented with your attitude. You smirked against his lips, which seemed to annoy him further. Moving his hands down your body, he grabbed your ass, hard. The pain going straight into your core, making you moan into his mouth. He seized the opportunity to slip his tongue inside your mouth. 

This time you didn’t even try to get the upper hand, you liked that he was in control. Finally someone who was more dominant in these things. Giving you the time to explore this new, more submissive side. Letting go of your face he moved his hand down your body. Over your chest, stomach and finally resting at your hips, pulling you against him. Goosebumps traveled all over your body, where his hands touched you. Your brain felt dazed, this was the hottest makeout session you ever had. You didn’t care about his roughness or the biting, you rather liked it.

When he broke the kiss you were both panting heavily. Slowly, almost teasing, he traced his fingers up your spine before grabbing you by your hair and tilting your head upwards to look at him. Your mouth parted slightly, a small moan escaped your lips. It stung where he had his grip on your hair, but the slight pain turned you on even more. Sure you knew you liked reading about these kinds of things, but experiencing them made you feel even more aroused.  

For a split second, you thought you saw his panting expression change into a smirk. Before you could think twice, he kissed you again. Your mind instantly went blank, his kiss was like a drug. This kiss was slower, still rough but he set the tone. Moving his lips against yours, pushing his hand between your legs. You felt hot, everything felt way too hot to bear, never had you been kissed with such passion. You needed to be closer to him. You tried running your hands down his body. 

He removed his hands in an instant, grabbing yours and pushing them back to your sides. You let out a small whine. ‘What was going on with you? You never whined. You felt like a schoolgirl, making out for the first time’ Shaking his head disapprovingly, he turned away to grab his drink. Taking a sip, he held it near your lips, offering it to you. “It’s just water.”

You knew you shouldn’t drink from strangers, though you were way too drunk to think straight or even logically. ‘You wanted to keep making out and if that helped?’ Looking up at him you tilted your head forward against the glass and emptied the whole glass. You didn’t even realize how thirsty you were, and a glass of water seemed like a good option.

“Good girl.”, you heard his deep voice beside your ear. The loud music was making it hard to hear him clearly. The praise went straight to your core. He put his drink away and you began dancing to the music. More like grinding on each other. 

He still didn’t allow you to touch him much and you wanted nothing more than to travel your hands up and down on his body, or under his shirt. He leaned down, grabbing your hips to press you against him. Pressing his hard crotch against your lower stomach, making you inhale a sharp breath.  

“Can I get your number?” his deep voice mumbled against your ear. You pondered. It felt like he was growling. Slowly he began caressing your ear, gently kissing his way to your neck, making you close your eyes, leaning your head back to give him better access. Your legs were feeling weak. Running his thumb along your jawline, he sucked and bit in your neck, as he kissed his way back to your ear. 

“Please?” his voice was a low growl against your ear. Your eyes fluttered open again as you nodded, desire filled your body. You would do anything, if he kept going on like this. 

He kissed you softly this time and you bit his lip as he tried ending the kiss. You wanted to kiss him longer. You missed his warmth already, and also missed the dark look flashing up in his eyes. He pulled his phone out, tipping something before handing it to you. As you grabbed his phone, you felt yourself wobble to the side. Luckily he grabbed you in time and stadied you against his body. Now your back was pressed against his front.

You thought about grinding your butt against him, but as if sensing your thoughts he nudged you towards his phone. Looking at the screen, it was truly hard to concentrate for you. He kept sidetracking you by placing soft kisses on your neck.

Blinking rapidly you slowly made out the numbers. Your vision seemed a bit blurry, your eyes feeling so heavy. ‘You didn’t even drink that much’ After what felt like hours you successfully put in your number. As soon as you were done, he grabbed his phone back.

You were so drunk that you didn’t notice the contact already had a name. - Sweetheart - Turning back to him you nearly lost your balance, falling against his chest. His arm wrapped around your side, steadying you as he began walking you through the crowd of dancing people. You found it so difficult to keep your balance, you felt funny. You couldn’t seem to focus, everything stayed a bit blurred. You didn’t even know where he took you. Was he taking you home?

“Hey, sorry to bother you guys.”, he loudly said to someone over the music as he came to a stop. You leaned your face against his shoulder. You were really tired.

“You are her friends, right? I think someone put something in her drink, one minute she was fine and the next she could barely stand.” Your brows furrowed, ‘drugged? You were fine… when should that have happened? Didn’t those drugs work way quicker?’ Shocked gasps filled the air. 

“I thought I would bring her back to you, so you can get her home.” He had such a calming and sympathetic voice. ‘Why would he bring you back? You were having fun.’ You playfully bit him in his chest, making him tighten his grip on your hip. His lips pressed in a firm line.

“Yes, yes she is our friend. Oh fuck. Thank you so much man!” Four hands grabbed you off the stranger you were leaning onto. You pouted.

“No-o I don’t wa- want to”, your voice slurred, you sounded like a brat. Struggling against their grip, not wanting to leave his side, but they were stronger than you. Also your fight wasn't really that much of a fight as you thought, you could hardly stand straight. You didn’t even knew his name. His jaw clenched as he looked towards you and the two holding you, his eyes lingered on the arm of the girl.

“Yes yes, hopefully you got his number.”, said a high pitched female voice near your ear. It sounded like Mary. You looked around, it was Lucas and Mary who supported you. ‘Why those two?’

 “Why didn’t you tell me you liked older men?” Giggling, you shrugged your shoulders.

“He is so fine, maybe I should talk to him too.” Mary whispered in your ear. ‘What about her boyfriend?’

“Well, thanks again man, I’m Simon, her best friend. We’re taking her home asap, before something happens…” he began, as Lucas and Mary led you away. He gestured for them to stop, but they didn’t look back. Thus you couldn’t hear the rest of the conversation play out. It was a good thing. Drugged or not, your subconsciousness would have freaked out sooner or later.

“No problem Simon. It is what everybody would have done. Call me Cooper.”, he held his hand out for him to shake, which Simon gladly accepted.

“Nah, I don’t think so. Some sick fuck, may have taken advantage of her in a state like that. So thank you Cooper.. Shit, I just wanted her to have a good time on her birthday.”

“Don’t be too hard on yourself Simon. I was glad I could help. Wish her a happy birthday from me, I hope she feels better in the morning.” Simon nodded, turning around to talk with the others and Cooper soon vanished in the crowd. Slowly your friends started to follow the three of you back to the entrance of the club. 

“Hey, Y/N you stay here and wait. Lucas and I get the jackets. Just hold onto the handrail of the stairs or sit down. You can stand on your own for a bit, can’t you? ”she asked, concerned and something different in her voice. You gave her a thumbs up before holding onto the railing again. 

“We will hurry as best as we can, the others should be here soon.” She came closer, whispering in your ear. 

“Also you can stop your show now. Yes it’s your birthday, but do you need that much attention?”, with that she and lucas made her way to the coat check waiting line. 

You let your head fall back as you take deep breaths. ‘Show? What show?’ Deeply breathing in the fresh air that was coming from the entrance. Few people were walking past you either coming in or leaving the club. Still it was hard concentrating on anything, but you were doing okay.

Until you weren’t. All of a sudden you felt something against your back and in the next moment you lost your footing and along with the grip on the handrail and flew down the stairs. Instinctively your body tried not to hit the ground face first. For that you turned around to face the top of the stairs. ‘Was there a man?’ you thought. Blinking once whoever you thought you saw was gone, just panicked bystanders. Did you hear Simon?

Your side painfully crashed first into the stairs, then continuing falling further down the stairs. You tried your best to stop or push yourself up, but failed. Someone behind you grabbed your arm to stop you. The only thing it brought you was, that you landed on your foot, with your butt while also twisting it in a painful way. 

(A/N: You know, I thought about it, Leaving you hanging right here. However a)  I should not end all my chapters the same, you could get bored and b) I’m not evil.)

Pain shot up from your foot, as your tears began to form in your eyes. “Fuck, Y/N.” Simon and Sebastian seemed next to you in mere seconds. Carefully they lifted you off the ground and gently removed your foot from under you. It hurt like hell.

“Is she alright?”, one of the bouncers came towards you from the entrance, having heard the commotion. 

“Hey, can you move your foot?” Simon asked. You gave it a try, whining instantly. Crying even more you shook your head, your brain was way too foggy to come up with a smart ass reply. 

“Where were you?” yelled an otherwise rather quiet Simon. 

“Getting our jackets...” began Mary.

“She was drugged and you left her alone? Are you serious Mary?” Lizzy yelled too, her face enraged.

“How do we know she really was drugged? Maybe she just played it to get away from that man?” Mary suggested in an annoyed tone. 

“What the fuck? Did you look at her? Does she seem like a normal drunk to you? You have seen her drunk before, but never like this!”, came Lizzy's angry reply.

“Also from what I saw in the beginning, she sucked his fucking face off! Didn’t seem like she hated it.” Simon countered. 

“Why did you even leave her alone in the first place? None of this would have happened! Lucas you have no brain of your own anymore?”, Sebastian joined their yelling. The statement made Lucas' face turn the darkest shade of red. 

“Fucking pathetic. Lets get her to the emergency room, someone order an uber?”Simon turned around angrily, and he and Lizzy helped you up. Each of them supported you as you hobbled down towards the streets. The way from the Club to the ER was gone in a blur. You couldn’t remember most of it. One minute you were leaving the club and in the next you laid on a bed in the ER. ‘How did you get here?’

You looked around for your friends, but the room was empty besides Simon who was sitting next to your bed with a worried expression. Your head felt clearer, you cleared your throat.

“So what did the doctor say, Simon? What's the damage?”, better get it over with.

“Well.. bad news first. You have a bruised foot and a hyperextended ligament. As a consequence you have to wear a bandage and walk on crutches for the next month at least.”

You sighed. It seemed like he wasn’t even finished with the bad news yet.  

“You also got a few bruises on your arms, legs and back. Buut the Good news– they've given you something to counteract the effects of the drugs, but you'll probably still have to sleep it off, to fully feel better.”

“Better?” you laughed “I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck. Anything is better than this..”

“I know..” he said as he patted your head. “Listen, they want to keep you here overnight, but just call me in the morning and we will pick you up and drive you home, ok?”

Defeated, you nodded, he squeezed your hand and left soon after. Leaving you alone in the empty room. The rest of the night was uneventful. The nurses checking up on you from time to time, bringing you more water. Sadly they also woke you up at 6 to check your vitals again and give you painkillers. After one final talk with the doctor, getting instructions from him for the next weeks and your crutches, you were ready to go home. 

As promised Simon picked you up, he even cleaned your apartment from you and forbade you from helping. He was too kind. He even made Sebastian shop some groceries for you, which he brought over. So you didn’t need to stress about that for the next couple of days. About two hours later they left, telling you to call if you needed something. 

You never had a wild birthday like that before, but somehow trouble seemed to find you. It was just a small consolation that nothing had happened to you the last months.

Still exhausted, you laid back on the couch, still in your yesterday's outfit. Closing your eyes as you enjoyed the silence. The ping of your phone ringing loud through the quietness of your apartment. You grabbed your phone and held it above your face. It was from Simon, he left not even a minute ago. Did he forget something? You opened your Phone.

– I totally forgot to tell you something. I meant to wish you a happy birthday from the man from the club last night. He also wished for you to get well soon. –

A second message followed.

– You remember? The one you made out with? He said his name was Cooper. –

Cooper…You knew that name. There was only one person that came to your mind with that exact name. Alarm Bells were going off in your head, but whatever they gave you in the hospital was working. You weren’t shaking or panicking, you were rather calm, what confused you. 

That couldn’t be true, no. Surely you would have recognized him, even in the dim light of the club. It wasn’t that dark, was it? You rested your phone on your chest and began thinking about last night. Trying to remember, you realized that reconstructing the evening would be way harder than you thought. There were a lot of gaps in your memories and many were quite foggy. Perhaps it was because of the drugs mixed in your drink.

Sighing you closed your eyes, attempting to recollect what the stranger looked like. He was tall, had a small beard, you didn’t remember his eye or hair color, but his hair was a bit longer? You were unsure. You remembered his large hands on your body, holding your head in place while kissing you. He was strong for sure. 

‘Think straight!’ you warned yourself, already starting to feel hot again. Just thinking about it still turned you on. ‘If that was Cooper, the man from that concert. You were fucked.’ 

You tried to arrange your thoughts. Yes, you made out with him, a serial killer, and you liked it, you felt disgusted. ‘You didn’t know it was him. Why would he even be there? The possibility was close to zero’ Suddenly you remembered something. 

Didn’t you drink from his drink? Of course you were drunk before, but after that everything went downhill. Recalling how super drunk and tired you felt soon afterwards. It would all make sense.

Except… Why did he bring you back to your friends then? Perhaps it was a weird coincidence? 

Maybe you should ask Simon if his name was really Cooper. Maybe he misunderstood? That looked like a good option. Opening your phone, you started to answer Simon as a new message came in. 

It was from an unknown number. A simple: – Happy Birthday Sweetheart. –

It couldn’t be, you changed your number. Not many people called you that and you faintly remember Cooper calling you like that. Before you could wonder about it more, a second message from the same number appeared. What you read then made your heart freeze in fear, your pulse increased and hands started shaking, which made reading the message harder.

– You know, you were always nervous and so easily startled, like a cute little doe. Constantly on alert and looking around, to run away, at the slightest noise. Though if there were a little accident to happen. Where will you go now little doe, if you can’t even run? –

(A/N: nvm i am evil)

[ratcash-wasgud]

this is my first time requesting here and im so nervous since the idea itself is so cheesy. could we have a modern au loser mizu who listens to "pasilyo" (a filipino song about wanting to get married so badly to someone; i highly recommend listening its so addicting!) and immediately thinks of her crush. thank you sm!

hel lovely!!!!! omg this is such a cute idea...it would be a shame if someone...have added some smut....hm...

anyways i kept this short, just to not overdo the vibe hihi

and you were right, it IS addicting. mwah.

Peonies

"I told you, I don't plan on doing that. Stop trying to play matchmaker, Mama." Mizu grumbles into the phone as she agressively spreads butter onto a slice of toast.

Her mother called her up again, which is always...well, a bother. She just nags her about settling down, even if she's still in college, finding a good boyfriend, getting married, having kids and basically giving up on everything she ever wanted. This is the reason she could never come out to her mother.

These talks always makes her hate the idea of marriage. Why would she ever tie herself down? Plus, it's a stupid old tradition. Plus, it's not even legal where she lives. It's just dumb to even think about it.

"No. I'm just busy." Mizu shrugs as she bites into the toast, still holding the phone up to her ear. Her mom keeps scolding her about ruining the family's name if she refuses to get married.

After about ten agonizing minutes, she hangs up. She lands on her bed with a groan. And just when she thinks she found peace, her phone lights up with a notification. It's a text from a groupchat called Tea Party with Eeyore, which has Ringo, Taigen, Akemi, and you in it.

ringo: omgomg look!

ringo: *a picture of you holding up a full tray of freshly baked pinagong.*

ringo: she helped me with my pastry of the week!!!

taigen: what even is that?

ringo: it's a type of fillipino bread! i learned it in baking class today.

you: we even made a whole playlist of fillipino songs to listen to while we bake :DDD

*you sent the link to the playlist.*

ringo: yup. we got into the mood, if you will

akemi: ringo, sweetie, that could have douple meanings

ringo: oh

The name is a dumb inside joke from that one time Akemi came up with the idea that having blue as a main color and being grumpy is enough for her to be just like Eeyore. She remembers you laughed so hard when she contined this line of thinking and matched Taigen with Tigger, because they're both annoying It's only because of that she doesn't mind this whole thing. She loves your laugh.

Mizu had a crush on you ever since she met you. It wasn't a hard crush to develop, honestly. You were kind for no reason, had eyes with stars in them, always full of energy while wearing the brightest smile she ever seen. You were just generally lovely. She was sure Taigen also had a crush on you at some point, which always irritated her, even if she never planned on making a move.

Mizu was content with the way things were. She was silently loving you from afar while you shined your bright light on her withouth even noticing. You made her happy if you didn't know.

She rolled over to her side, and tapped on the link you sent to the playlist. You had great taste in music, so if you were able to vive to these songs, they can't be that bad.

Then as the playlists starts playing, she hears a couple notes of an electric guitar, and she lightly shivers. Pasilyo was the first song. She never heard about it, but the melody quickly captured her.

She stared up the ceiling and she imagined you and Ringo listening to this song. She imagines you accidentaly spilling flour all over yourself, getting some on your face as you laugh, and she imagines her hand softly wiping it off. She imagines you sitting infront of the oven, staring at the growing pastry dough as it bakes, and having that bright and excited smile on your face when you succesfully decide that yes, it has gotten bigger since the last minute you checked. You'd look at her with big doe eyes when she tells you that it's time to do the dishes afterwards, singlaing how much you don't wanna. And of couse, she'd wash them instead of you, without hesitation. You'd hug her from behind as she does them, and hum the song in her ear, rocking your hips with hers playfully while your soft cheek is squished against her shoulder.

She sudenly wonders if that's how married life would look like with you. Damn, Mama has gotten into her head. But she doesn't mind it if it's like this. Would getting married really be horrible if it was with you? She decies on a firm no. You'd be the loveliest bride.

A bride she'd love to tie herself down to.

You'd stand there, at the altar, wearing all white and holding a big bouquet of daisies, camellias and lakspurs...maybe even peonies.

Yeah...definetly peonies. There would also be peony petals on the floor, scattered across, and one in your hair. Behind your ear...or one holding up your veil.

You'd smile when you see her on the other end of the aisle, like you see your future in her eyes. Your eyes would focus only on her, and your hand would squeeze hers for comfort as she says her vows. She'd kiss you with all her might in that moment. She'd pick you up and carry you away while you both laugh into eachothers faces.

She'd wake up to you every day of the week. To your soft cheeks squiched up against the pillow, your hand around her, and your breathing tickling her skin. She'd never want to get out of bed. She'd wake up hours earlier just to cuddle your sleeping form.

When you'd stir, you'd look into her eyes with your still hazy ones, and plant a good morning kiss on her forehead. In return Mizu would kiss your cheek, then your nose, then your jaw...then your neck, then your chest...

She'd put her hands on your breats, softly squeezing them as she teases them through your thin pajama top. She'd want it to be casual, domesticated, but still so, so exciting to make love to you.

She'd slowly get on top of you, and get lost in the way you're looking up at her. She'd slowly lift your top, and press her knee between your legs. Oh, how'd you tremble. You'd look up at her all needy, she'd have no option but to help you.

Her tongue would softly curcple your nipple, dry lips wrapping around it to trap it, all for herself. Her hand would slowly find it's way inside your pajama pants, long fingers sliding through your lips. She'd toy with you slick, because she knows it's there because of her. She'd bathe in the feeling of your clit pulsing for her before sliding her fingers inside, massagnig your inner walls. She'd coo in your ear, because you're just so precious when she's inside you like this. You turn into a ragdoll, and you can't do anything but whimper for her. You'd depend on her, especially in moments like this.

She'd give it to you every morning. She'd never hesitate to obey every command your body gives her.

Then she'd watch you make breakfast with your ears still red from getting taken by her so early in the morning. You'd sit in her lap while you'd eat breakfast. She'd feed you pieces of her bacon, and you'd give her bites from your egg. She'd give small pecks to your soft lips, to kiss away droplets of coffee.

She gets torn out from her daydream though by another text. She looks at it through half lidden eyes.

ringo: we made too many :(

taigen: that's what u get for always going overboard

you: mizu !!!

you: do you want some? i think you'd love pinagong!!!

Mizu smiles to herself as she reads the text. Maybe she isn't fine with how things are right now. Maybe she does need to make a move.

mizu: yeah

mizu: omw.

Maybe...she could stop by the flower shop and get some peonies.

Just maybe.

[ultimate-shipper-trash-blog]

Substitute Teacher Steve Au

Delilah felt nervous. She ran into her little brother Paul in the hall because neither of them were looking in the correct direction...too nervous.

She hurried into her English class and grabbed her seat. The class's energy was off the charts. Everyone was chatting and gossiping.

"-sub! Can you believe THE St-"

"I just don't understand? Arent they fam-"

Uh oh. She thinks she understands now and pulls out her flip phone to type out a quick text to Paul to warn him. It's too late. He already texted her first.

"Code purple"

"Fuck."

"Language B!"

"Shit."

He laughs as he walks into the classroom. Someone slaps her shoulder as if they're trying to tell her "Hey! He looked in your direction!!!!"

Sitting on her teacher's desk is retired pop icon Steve Harrington. He lights up when he sees her looking at him and waves to her. He's waving so fast his hand is a blur.

"Del what the hell is happening?" Mandy, her best friend is looking at her expectantly.

"I-"

"Ok class! Attendance time!!"

'Adams'

'Andrews'

'Chase'

'Finch'

"Henderson!"

"..."

"C'mom B," he looks at her disappointed.

"Here," she grumbles.

A girl in the back raises her hand.

"Can this wait until after the attendance is taken?"

"Unfortunately not Mr. Harrington I just have to know, how do you know Delilah? Why do you call her B? I mean out of everyone we were not expecting you to be here for her." She says the last part kind of like a sneer.

Delilah knew she wasn't the most popular but she made a choice to stay out of the spotlight.

"Well...student-"

"Sam."

"Sam, I'm not here for Delilah."

Gasps went around the room.

"I'm also here for Paul!" His famous bright smile is shining bright. "He's getting his braces off today! Isn't that exciting! Gosh I remember when his dad got his off. Brings a tear to my eye."

Delilah sinks lower into her seat.

"As for the nickname-"

She shoots up, ramrod straight.

"Um Uncle Steve you don't really have to-"

"Now B it's nothing to be embarrassed about. When Del's mom was pregnant with Paul we told her that she wouldn't be the baby anymore. She was so frustrated that was the only name she responded to for six months!"

Sam pipes up again, "so B is short for-"

"Baby." Snickers went around the room. Delilah groans. "Obviously we couldn't go around calling her baby that's weird. So we shortened it, nickname. It also helps because she's baby Henderson, helps to distinguish the difference between them all."

Steve gives her a soft smile, like he's still imagining her as a toddler.

"As most of you may know I retired about five years ago along with my boyfriend." (Gay marriage was not legal yet but she's working on it.)

Josh's hand shoots up. "Your boyfriend famous metal musician Eddie Munson?"

"Yes student in the back, we decided it was time to retire and enjoy our time together. Then I got bored. I was always planning on being a teacher if music didn't work out so I became a sub. We have a house here to see the kids and I knew I wanted my first assignment to be one where I could see my favorite Hendersons."

Ok she can't be mad at him. She loves him so much and he obviously is just doing what he can to be closer to her.

"Uncle Steve-"

Uncle is whispered around the room.

"I appreciate you coming here but-"

"Henderson I'd appreciate it if you stayed after school to help me grade papers. I can give you a ride home. Uncle Eds is taking Paul to the orthodontist now so you don't have to worry about driving him."

Conveniently, beeping was heard outside along with the sound of a motor like an engine revving. The students all ran to the window to see what was going on and were shown Paul with his head down running to the convertible.

Poor kid. Everyone would be talking about this for at least a week.

Paul looked over at the window along with Eddie, when he saw Steve he blew him a kiss. As soon as Paul was buckled up he sped off.

Steve sighed wistfully and then headed back to the desk.

"Alright everyone! Let's learn!"

[ellesthots]

Fateful Beginnings

X. “discernment”

parts: previous / next

plot: back in your respective hometowns, you navigate a sudden shift in family finances. Bruce Wayne contemplates an identity shift.

pairing: battinson!bruce wayne x fem!reader

cw: 18+, health issues, chemotherapy, debt, substance use

words: 3.1k

a/n: i feel like this chapter is kinda the end of the setup. i’ve had a lot of fun subverting expectations of Batman’s identity usually being kept secret, and seeing how that impacts the story to have it be known so immediately. ahhh i’m very excited to keep writing <3

You did your best to shower as quickly as possible, ransacking your medicine cabinet behind the mirror while the water was heating up. Toothbrush, toothpaste, you had it all back at home, and it went into the trash. Shampoo, conditioner, body wash, all did the same after you used up what you could and jumped out of the shower, wrapping yourself in a single towel you were fine with leaving behind. As you walked back into the main room, you stopped for a moment. With the sheets off the bed, the kitchen empty, and the rest of the room deserted besides what was left of your luggage, it felt final. Gotham was finally being abandoned and you could go back to the safety of hometown life.

Sweats, tee, sneakers. The plane ride was going to feel massively long with how much anticipation was in your bones thinking about being able to make your mom's appointment. You'd clarified with your dad with a text message and he responded that her treatment was at 3. Even if the plane left by noon, that was 9 to them--you'd be home by 2, could head straight from the airport to her chemo. Luggage zipped, key in hand, you nearly made it out the door before remembering you had edibles sitting in your nightstand. You couldn't technically have it in your apartment, and you definitely couldn't bring it past TSA... you shoved it in your pocket to discard in a public trashcan and made your way to the lobby. You gave the keys and your name to the same young woman, and walked out of the lobby for the final time. Damn. I'm really done here. I'm done with Gotham. I just need to make it on my plane. Then I'm gone.

Bruce was slumped down in his chair trying to avoid passersby. You slipped in beside him and yanked your thick luggage between your legs. He sat up and nodded at you as he buckled, and you did the same. As you reached to click the seatbelt in, the edibles slipped out of your pocket and fell at his feet. Shit. He reached down, read the package, and his brow furrowed. "Marijuana?"

You laughed. Hadn't he ever seen it before? "Yeah uh, I can't take it with me to the airport or leave it here." You shrugged and held your hand out expectantly, but he hesitated. His eyes scanned your face, confused. "You do marijuana?"

Now you were looking at him with confusion. He'd never done it? Drops were hardcore; weed was legal in Gotham, it was legal in most states now. You'd gone to a dispensary just around the corner from your complex to get it, surely he had experience. "Sometimes. Why are you looking at me like that?" A slight defense crept into your tone; people drank alcohol all the time, why was it strange to have edibles? He gave the slightest shake of his head and mumbled. "I just don't see the point."

"I don't get the point of drinking alcohol either, but,"

"I don't drink. I don't do any substances."

You whipped your head toward him. "Like ever?"

"I need to be clear at a moment's notice." He gestured for you to click your seatbelt in, dropped the edibles in your lap, and pushed on the gas. You sat in silence for most of the ride there, and just before he took the exit toward the dropoff lane you held them out to him. "Here. Take them." You paused. "Please."

He shot a glare at you, nearly missing the exit. "Why?"

"You don't have to take them or anything, I just can't have them on me at security." You shrugged and he begrudgingly obliged, tucking them into his pant pocket. He pulled to the right and stopped, unlocking the car. You sat for a moment, staring at all the passengers going in, all the couples embracing each other with heartfelt goodbyes. Your heart throbbed. You wanted that. You wanted to be held, you wanted someone to miss you—someone that didn't have to, like parents. Someone that liked you enough for you, as you were, for no reason other than enjoyment and care. Already in your mid-twenties you were beginning to wonder if that would ever happen for you, and it didn't help to be sitting in a car with the most frustrating, cold man imaginable while looking at so much warmth and love.

He hesitated before asking what had been on his mind since City Hall. “How did you know it was me?”

You hesitated just the same, then shrugged. “I don’t know, i just… knew?” How else could you express just how unique his eyes were? You turned toward him and met his available gaze. His eyes were so distinctive... you couldn't even quite place the color, further puzzling you as to how you had matched him so immediately to the vigilante. Maybe that was the whole thing—his eyes were so unplaceable. Sitting between a gray and blue with no particular lean to one or the other. You hadn't seen anything like it. "Thank you." A smile was easily conjured for him, sympathy and guilt fueling it. "I know I pushed my way into your home. And again, I won't tell anyone. Promise." You cleared your throat and averted your eyes as you popped open the passenger door and grabbed your luggage. He didn't respond until the door was almost shut. "I know. Have a safe flight."

You hid your smile as you shut the door behind you and walked through to the lobby of the airport. You were just in time to get in line for TSA and still make it to your terminal. You shuffled around in your purse to find your ID and pulled up the virtual ticket on your phone. God. You were finally going to be home.

You woke to the pilot over the intercom: "Good afternoon folks, we have arrived in Seattle, Washington. It is now 1:39pm as we pull into the terminal. The weather is a comfortable 73 degrees with partly cloudy skies. Alaska Airlines thanks you."

Waiting for you in the lobby was your mother and father, but your eyes quickly landed on your mother's new wheelchair. She looked frail, with more deep-set wrinkles exaggerated by her new thinness. A lump formed in your throat. He'd said she'd gotten worse. You hoped it wasn't impossibly worse, but soon you would find out more information. You hid your surprise and ran to them with open arms. Your mother started weeping, pointing out how much more grown up you looked. "Your updates on Facebook didn't do you justice," She complimented. Thankfully her voice was unchanged.

Your dad drove you all straight from airport parking to her doctor's office. Chills traveled up your spine remembering the times you'd sobbed alone in your car wondering if the chemo would work, if the medicines that made her vomit and cry in the middle of the night when she thought no one was listening would be worth it. Only to end up back here. But, you reminded yourself, with so much more time than some people got.

Your dad looked tired, so you told him you'd take your mom inside. She was happy to get some time alone with you, chattering on with questions about what exactly Gotham had been like. "I've heard so much about it. Your dad focuses on the bad things now more than I do, he's been worried sick. Especially with all the explosions. Those did worry me I'll admit. But you're back now! We got your room ready, and Walter is so excited to see you! Ever since we made the room up he has been sitting at the foot of your bed." Walter was the family cat your mother got about seven years ago when she was first diagnosed; he was her therapy cat, and he'd taken to everyone in the house. You were excited to see him, you'd missed him tons.

The receptionist smiled when you walked into the clinic, gesturing for you to follow her to a room down the hall. "Mrs. Y/L/N, how are you doing? This room is ready for you." As you wheeled your mom in and sat her next to the IV, you pulled a chair over to sit nearby. You noticed it wasn't already pulled close—did people normally not accompany their relatives, friends, neighbors to their appointments? It saddened you to think about someone having to endure chemotherapy alone. You'd never do that to her.

About halfway through some more casual conversation—the neighbors were doing great, excited to see you, your dad had been working on a back porch for them to spend nights looking at the sunsets together, she'd stocked the fridge with all your favorites, asked about your classes, and gushed to the nurses about how you were now a soon to be college graduate. She also expressed sorrow about having you come back so early and miss graduation, to which you immediately and profusely told her not to worry. You were so glad to be back, and grateful to just do everything you could. You told her how you'd be looking for a job this summer.

A nurse walked in and gently reminded you both about payment. Your mom gestured to her purse sitting at the table opposite her and you went to find her credit card. Long ago your family had abandoned debit, as the mounting costs of having cancer were too much to front all at once. You hurried to the receptionist and stood in line behind a mother and young kid with a bald head. God, kids shouldn't have to go through this. No one should have to. "Miss Y/L/N?"

"Yes, this is for Y/L/N." You held out the family credit card but the receptionist cocked her head at you with a furrowed brow. "Oh hon, your balance is paid."

You stopped. What? "Uh, I'm sorry, I don't think I've paid yet." You stared at her as she clicked a few buttons and focused on her screen. She shook her head. "Nope, but an anonymous benefactor has paid your remaining balance and left a card on file." She smiled over at you. "Must be your lucky day!" She clicked a few things with her mouse and walked over to the printer, handing you an invoice. In bold print next to the mountain of numbers which had previously had a negative in front was a new 0 next to PAID. Concerned, you rushed back to your mother's room. She noted your concern at once. "Y/N, what is it?" She moved toward you enough to get the monitor to start beeping to stay put. You stared down at the paper. "It, it says it's paid. By an anonymous person, I don't, I don't know."

You fell back in your seat as you handed your mom the paper. She pored over it, then shrieked with relief. "Honey, this is a blessing. I can't believe it!" Tears came to her eyes and she looked around. "My phone, I need to tell Thomas,"

"Here, I'll call him." You took out your phone with clammy hands and dialed him. This was... unbelievable. The debt had been well above six figures. Each treatment was a few thousand dollars, with a month-long course going above thirty thousand. Not to mention the massive cost of the at-home medications she had to take multiple times per day that weren't covered by insurance. Your dad shouted with glee, saying he was going to order everyone pizza tonight. "Golly," he sounded on the verge of tears as well. "Looks like luck might be on our side."

As you helped your mom out of the clinic and into the car, your parents embraced each other and danced in place in the parking lot. Your mind was occupied, still in shock. If they had their balance paid, if all the costs coming up were covered, your dad's job at the school would be more than enough to sustain the family. Maybe they could even retire. He'd been saving up his 401k to pay off the balance in one lump sum, though he was only halfway there. It was nice to see them celebrating, but you had a strange feeling in your stomach. Who had it been? Who could have known? Your mother wasn't keeping her diagnosis a secret; many neighbors had been very supportive, and she had many friends who were decently well off that had helped your family when things got rough. But none of them had nearly enough money to do something like that.

As your dad pulled up to Domino's, it hit you like a ton of bricks. It had to be him. There was no other person who could afford it. But how had he known? Did he snoop? Did it even matter?

It had to be Bruce fucking Wayne.

Bruce dragged his pointer finger along the embossed lettering—LEMON LIME THC GUMMY. He was worn out, but could not possibly sleep. The night had been shockingly uneventful with only a few carjackings on his radar. Even the walkie talkie Gordon had lent him from the station was quiet. The night had ended early, yet he still felt tense with untapped energy. Pulling out his phone from his nightstand he Googled marijuana and sleep which elicited clear results: Cannabis may improve sleep quality by helping people fall asleep faster and wake up less often at night. Sigh. He checked the dosage instructions on the back of the tin and pulled off a small piece. Here goes nothing.

Immediately after swallowing he started to feel fearful. What if you had poisoned it? A final blow? Your last revenge? He pictured your eyes meeting his from the passenger side earlier that day. Again, I won't tell anyone. Promise. He thought your eyes were too kind not to mean it, but he still walked up the stairs over to Alfred's room. He was still up reading the paper when he walked in.

"Alfred, I'm gonna be taking some weed tonight." As soon as the words left his mouth he wanted to scream with embarrassment. Here he was, in his late twenties, telling his guardian that he was talking drugs. Non lethal ones at that. Alfred peered up from over his papers with a small bit of surprise. Bruce had never shown interest in drugs before, and it felt a bit awkward, like he was admitting something terrible to a parent. He tried to make his reaction measured and interested. "Oh. Okay! Sounds... good!"

Bruce shifted his weight between feet, wanting to fall through the floor. He was still nervous of how he would react. Would his face melt? Would he have a panic attack, "Yeah. I'll be in my room." Alfred, having known him all his life, easily read between the lines.

"Do you want me to, check on you?" He paused halfway through, not wanting to come across condescending. Bruce seemed anxious. Alfred tried to smile at him. The kid averted his gaze. "I got them from Y/N. They're just for sleep." He turned to leave as Alfred continued. "Okay. Uh, have a good rest."

Bruce mumbled "Thanks." before disappearing back to his room. He laid in waiting facing the ceiling with his arms crossed across his chest, looking small and worried. Why had he trusted you so implicitly? What if your kind words at the airport had been nothing more than a ruse? He needed to be smarter than that. And the crosswalk? How he'd almost hit someone? He couldn't believe it. You clouded his thoughts more than he'd even realized. You weren't stupid and he couldn't ignore the possibility that you knew exactly what you were doing. But what were you doing? You didn't like him. You left Gotham to care for your mother's returned cancer. You were so ready to rid yourself of the city. And he did believe you when you said you wouldn't tell anyone. You puzzled him.

He decided to take a hot shower to try and relieve some extra stress before the weed kicked in. The heat coaxed his muscles to relax, his shoulders to drop, and his eyes to close. He focused on the sounds of the water, the feeling of the soap on his tired, chronically injured body as his hands ran over his bruises. He forgot the time while he was in there, until he started feeling floaty. Blinking to try and shake the sensation, he stepped out of the shower and threw on a pair of sweats. He sat on the edge of his bed and felt its emptiness. His vision was slightly blurred, reminiscent of when he got hit too hard in the head. It wasn't as jarring as he was anticipating, and let himself relax back to his initial position staring up at the ceiling.

His walls were painted black, and that made him a bit nervous. Through his periphery he saw the empty darkness of his room and turned on his bedside lamp. The soft incandescent glow felt warm on his skin and he relaxed into it. Thoughts began creeping up at the edges of his mind. Your eyes gave it away. I don't know, I just knew. Your words fluttered around the room to dizziness. That was possibly the worst answer you could have given, knowing that unless he wanted to reduce visibility while fighting and wear some sort of glasses, he could be recognized any time. In the haze of his high he pictured himself in front of him. Bandaged, bruised, melancholic, isolated. His hair dark and in his eyes. It came to him akin to an epiphany: he needed to make himself more distinguishable from his nightlife. He looked like someone who might be Batman. How instantly you knew him. There had to be someone else like you. You weren't an anomaly, no, you couldn't be.

He got out his journal and started scribbling on the page.

Me now: dark, casual, isolated, angry, unfriendly, critical

Batman: dark, isolated, angry, unfriendly, critical

Too many similarities.

Then he wrote down the opposite: bright, fashionable, connected, easygoing, friendly

As his high peaked he looked out the window at the streets of his city. It hit him like a ton of bricks settling into the pit of his stomach. He needed to become a Wayne—public facing and more inconspicuous, he needed to create distance from the two halves of him. He needed to become so different as to practically gaslight the people of Gotham into discarding their suspicions as madness. He fell back onto the mattress. He couldn't hesitate.

He had to become Bruce fucking Wayne.

[auckie]

Honestly. Adding balsamic vinegar to something could be considered “lezzing out”. Accidentally having your phone set to the Spanish keyboard so that balsamic vinegar when typed through swype text autocorrects to ‘mi batshit vagina’ can sometimes be considered “Lezzing out”. Doing a crazy quick but shy little two step in the electrical section of Lowe’s— that’s right, that’s lezzing the fuck out. Now, not everything is lezzing out, because I think there has to be a balance for some people, like maybe, I dunno. ‘Rustic as fuck’. And they’re not always opposites, like they can happen at the same time. Installing pointless barn doors, like on a bathroom or cabinet, is not lezzing out, but it’s rustic as fuck and it sucks. Using an allen wrench is lezzing out and rustic as fuck and pretty good. Calling it that instead of a hex key are those things too. Saying minge is lezzing out but not rustic at all. No one says minge anymore and it’s a shame because it’s really funny. Yknow I took some of them fly amarita amanina whatever legal but scary, yet quaint red and white toadstool ass mushroom gummies along with bootleg adderall chewables and then chased it with an entire bottle of moscato by accident and I can admit it’s neither lezzing the fuck out of me, nor rustic as shit it’s just. I’m scared. I’m in bed scared and I gotta get up early and go to the post office and bank and I’m wishing I was just munching on minge right about now. There’s a lot of awful slang for vagina that’s really funny, like cartoon lumberjack Phil and Lil’s dykeass mom type vernacular like calling it a clam. A poonani. Gash. The ole axe wound. Chowing down on some beaver. Rippin into that roast beast manwich. Parting the meat curtains. The clandestine cloaca. When I was little I tackled a boy who thought girls shit our their vagina to the ground and held his eye open while I dropped a pinecone around it. I always tell people that story but it’s important to remember I didn’t do it because he said he thought girls pooped out their front UGH EW I forgot about front butt. Fupa. My fucking pufa. Interchangeable pussy upper frontal area and such. sorry so I didn’t do that because he was wrong about where poop came from but because he made a border joke at me. I never hit his eye; I knew what I was doing. That was lezzing out. I was lezzing the fuuuuck out in third grade dude I was wearing a fleece vest and wire frame square glasses like my life depended on it. The boot cut jeans and sketchers. Not very rustic, which is for the best. Children rarely are, nor should they be rustic as fuck, let alone at all, but boys and girls of all ages can lez with the best of ‘em under the right parenting and guidance, the right conditions.

[goldkirk]

Gregor the Overlander fanfiction?! Gregor the Overlander mention!?!?! Tbh it's been so long since I've read it I barely remember it. After Hunger Games' success they need to make a Gregor the Overlander adaptation.

GREGOR THE OVERLANDER WAS SO IMPORTANT TO ME friend I was OBSESSED.

I very genuinely wrote a letter to Disney as a 10 year old asking them to make an adaption and consider casting my new baby nephew and me as a gender-reversed Gregor and Boots I shit you not. I refuse to be embarassed by that, it wasn't cringe, baby me was just That Fucking Into It and wanted to share it with the world lol

My first fanfic was Code of Claw post-series fix-it fic written on a legal pad my mom gave me to use when I was bored silly partway through a day of errands. Complete with fanart of Gregor climbing into a sewer drain and all.

Frankly your excitement bouncing off of my excitement is making me think I need to read it again too, it's been so long. At my peak I could chant every prophecy in the books and tap and scratch messages to myself in code bc I had for some reason memorized the whole Tree of Transmission better than I ever managed to memorize Morse Code.

I'm so overjoyed to talk with someone who was also in love with that series. I completely agree that they need to make a Gregor the Overlander adaption, but also I'm 100% sure they NEED to animate it and never, ever, EVER fucking do a live show. I don't think there's any way to capture the depth and scale of the world/creatures and the differences between adult and kid perspectives of what's going on in the Underland and a lot of the unique features into live action stuff without weakening it, and for me, I felt as a kid like these books were the first and only series for KIDS (not teens) that really really made me feel known as a kid-who-knew-adults-in-charge-can-lie-and-be-bad-sometimes AND as a kid-who-still-defaults-to-believing-the-best-anyway and how those intersect.

I feel like The Underland Chronicles, Ender's Game, and The Hunger Games all are in a specific category of story and boy is that category important. The Gregor books additionally take kids more seriously than any of the others, which was extra cool.

Sorry for the wall of text and the rambling all over lol, thank you for the ask!!!! I hope you have an awesome day and an enjoyable time next time you reread the Underland Chronicles <3

[transwicky]

Ollie and Wicky eloped.

Everyone feels offended and they think maybe the others got invited but the truth was nobody did.

They eloped winter break junior year, but everyone thinks they got married after graduating.

Until Bitty is stressing out planning his and Jack's wedding and Ollie is like "this is why we eloped junior year" and Bitty freezes and stares at him.

"Junior year?"

"yeah. My student visa was expiring for the year and we had plans to get married anyways, so Pace' suggested eloping earlier than planned so I could get a green card. Fuck, Tango was literally the only one there as our witness and to tell immigration "yeah they genuinely love each other, it's kinda gross how in love they are with the PDAs" so. We never had a real ceremony, just did paperwork for it. It helped that we were broke college students who had been dating since our freshman year."

Bitty is floored.

He texts the others asking if they knew.

They are all HORRIFIED to know they've been thinking the worst of Ollie and Wicky when the only person who went was the freshman that was the honest and genuine tadpole that Wicky pretty much adopted, and probably because there was no way immigration would not believe the kid.

Bitty hesitantly asks if they'd want a ceremony, and Ollie shrugs.

"it's not a big deal to me overall. I think it'd be nice, but I don't need one. I think Pacer would like it though, but his family is also kinda fucked up so I don't know for sure how he'd feel about it. I've offered though. He said no."

Bitty asks Tango.

"He and his cousin planned their weddings when they were eight, Bitty. He wants a ceremony. He doesn't need one, he knows that, but he wants one, he just doesn't want Ollie to think it's something he needs to do to like, prove they love each other or something. It's from the fucked up childhood. His mom was kinda stupid. Said weddings were proof that they love each other. So Wicky says no when Ollie offers 'cause he remembers that and doesn't want Ollie to feel like he has to do it as proof, because he already knows Ollie loves him. It's stupid. People are stupid. Why are people so stupid?"

"Good Lord, that's the million dollar question, Tango."

And so he talks things out with Tango.

Tango gets in touch with Wicky's cousin.

She gives him the old baby wedding planner they did as kids, and the one Wicky had started when he and Ollie first made plans to get married after graduation (the baby one was for cute little laughs at what 8 year old Wicky wanted, it wasn't actually what Tango asked her for. Nobody is complaining).

She sits Ollie down. Tells him what their moms told them as kids, and that Wicky will never tell him he wants a ceremony because of it, and especially since they're already married.

So Ollie has to finish planning things. They can have the ceremony on the day they actually got married ("Make it romantic! He'll love it!") And it can be in their backyard, even ("where doesn't matter, so long as the people you both care about are there!").

SMH is invited, that much is clear.

Bitty is Ollie's best man, Tango is Wicky's, because Ollie knows Wicky wouldn't want anyone else there unless it's Johnson (which is true).

But Johnson is allowed to wed people legally, they have no idea why, but he can, and Ollie knows Wicky would LOVE that.

The ceremony really is in the backyard, and it's covered in snow, and Wicky comes home from work to their friends and families over and holy shit Ollie did all of this?!

And his dad just grins, gives him the suit he got married in, and his own father got married in, and his father had married in, and Wicky is crying by the time he's standing with Ollie at the end of the aisle, with Tango as his best man, and Johnson is the one marrying them.

He whispers thank you before Johnson starts talking.

It's absolutely everything he could have wanted for their wedding.

[deep-fried-egg]

Talk to me after school (k-12 dupe)

Cry baby k-12 x fem! Reader

Warnings: transphobia, sexism, they’re legal adults at the end guys I didn’t make toddlers kiss, murder, trying to poison someone, abuse, body image issues, anorexia

10k+ words

I woke up in my all pink room to the sound of my alarm blaring in my ears, as I sat up I thought 'Wait, what was my dream again?' I get out of bed as my thoughts continue. 'I remember feeling trapped in rising heat and there were plastic or… cardboard cut-outs all around me? And my gums roots were pushing out my teeth and the voice of a thousand angels said to me, "It's temporary."

'Maybe that should be my new mantra as I step into what will inevitably be the worst years of my life.' I walk over to my calendar and I draw a red heart around the wretched day that it is. The first day of hell.

'Ah yes, off to a world in which girls are only to wear pink dresses and boys blue pants. Well, I dyed my uniform and embroidered flowers on the sleeves.' I open my walk-in closet door. 'Speaking of, I should probably change into my uniform right now… Nah, that shits itchy. It can wait.

I step into my bathroom and I look into my mirror as I brush my half black half pastel rainbow streaked hair with my jade green hair brush with a golden heart on the back. 'Oh yeah, and in my dream, you know when the air below me was sucking my teeth out of their sockets, I noticed that my front two teeth stayed and the gap between them just kept getting larger and larger… How's that even possible? I know, right?' I squirt toothpaste on my baby blue toothbrush and I brush my teeth, after a few seconds I spit it out and I place the brush back on the counter as I step out of my bathroom and I head through my room into the kitchen.

'I wish my mom wasn't passed out right now and could at least drive me to the bus stop…' I grab my "alpha bites crunch" cereal and a bowl. I shook the box to get cereal out but instead I was surprised by my spider, Phillipe. "Phillipe? What are you doing in there? Don't scare me like that" I exclaimed as I watched Phillipe crawl on the dining room table.

'What was that angel's name again? Was it Lily or Layla? No, I think it was Lilith.'

Kindergarten. Wheels on the bus

The pink school bus with a blue interior picked me up at the stop and I chose to sit next to my best friend Angelita but it quickly got way too loud in the bus. I watched the bus driver drink from a flask as he continued driving to the sleepaway school.

"I feel so sick…" I spoke to Angelita. "I can't believe we have to do this." she responded. "Do you think we'll make any friends?" I asked as I looked at her in her brown eyes, "I hope so, but at least we have each other."

"That's true." I said with a sigh.

I heard the girls behind me laugh at each other before a pink paper airplane got thrown directly at my head. I turned toward the dyed blue boy who threw it before Angelita picked up the paper airplane and she read the text within before she turned around and yelled at them, "Real mature!"

"What does it say?" I asked, before she could tell me I leaned over and I read the neat handwriting on the paper. It read: "Gap toothed bitch."

I frowned after I read it, but my sadness only got worse when the kids behind me started mocking me…

"Awww does the bunny rabbit need some tissues?" Kelly, my blond bully with shoulder length hair and blue eyes teased.

"Its okay, don't listen to them. They're just plastic bullies." Angelita tried to comfort me but the kids behind me were too loud. Their bullying was getting to me. They were all standing up and saying "Wah wah, Cry baby." which was definitely making fun of my name, Cry Baby.

I silenced all of the hate in my mind so it wouldn't get to me anymore than it already did.

'This… Is K-12.'

-

All the chatter simmers down as the bus gets to our stop. Me and Angelita watch everybody file out of the bus and into the clean white school. We wait until everyone is out before we get up and leave the bus.

As we walk into the dark blue doors of the school a big bell on the very top of the school rings, showing that it's almost class time so me and Angelita push open the doors that were 2 times the size of our 5 year old bodies.

First grade Class fight

As we walk through the halls, littered with statues and paintings of ghosts and mystical creatures of the unknown I strike up a conversation with my friend.

"I don't know why people are so scared of death." I said nonchalantly. "I agree!" She replied, "It's just another part of life."

"You start in the womb, and you end in the tomb."

Angelita laughed as I said that, but then she asked me a question that made me think. "Wait a second… Where is everybody?" I hum in response, I didn't know either.

I changed the topic of the conversation, "I don't know if it's just because it's cold in here… but I'm getting kind of a… creepy chill down my back." I said. "I love it!" me and Angelita said in unison.

The second we turned around some ghost in a white victorian style dress and her hair tied up walked straight through the right wall to the left wall behind us. We turned around just in time to catch a glimpse of the ghost, we sped up the stairs after that.

"What even was that!?" Angelita yelled, "Scary." I replied before sighing. "What's the room number again?" Angelita spoke quietly this time, "222…" I nodded.

We looked in front of us before reading the room numbers in unison.

"221…223…" Then we looked at the door in front of us, "222…" We stare at each other then we enter the room. Officially becoming students at the worst rated school in the country.

-

The teacher immediately scolded us when we entered the room. "Class! Would you like to inform Cry Baby and Angelita of what rule they did not follow today?

"When the bell rings you must be in your assigned seat." the entire class said in a bored tone.

"Are you deaf?" The teacher asked, "Sit down!"

"Sorry Ms. Daphne." Both me and Angelita said at the same time before we rushed to our seats and we sat down.

As soon as we sat down the announcements started going off so the entire class stood up, except for one boy. Henry.

"All rise" Ms. Daphne said as she walked around the room with her ruler pointed towards the class.

The teacher glared at him before speaking, "On your feet." Ms. Daphne insisted.

The pledge started, "I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States Of America…"

"I'm being generous with you boy." Ms. Daphne warned, "Last chance to stand and show some respect." She finished while glaring at Henry.

"with liberty and justice for all." The pledge ended.

Henry shook his head before stating, "You hear that? Liberty and justice for all? Thats bullshit." Henry said before scoffing.

Ms. Daphne stomped over to her desk and she pressed a button which called the detention crew over to escort Henry out of the room.

The door slammed open and identical men with shaved brown hair and full beards wearing gray full body uniforms stormed into the room. "Grab the boy!" One of them yelled before they picked up Henry from under his arms, near his armpits and they started dragging the young boy out of the room.

"Get off of me!" Henry yelled while kicking, trying to escape the strong mens grip, "I didn't do anything!" His voice slowly faded away as they dragged him out of the room and slammed the door shut.

I was scared by this so I stayed quiet the rest of class until Brandon, my crush, turned around and tapped my shoulder asking for my eraser. Of course I handed it to him as soon as he asked.

Kelly saw all of it. She saw her boyfriend since kindergarten tapping my shoulder and asking me a question. Of course she got jealous so she wrote me a little note on a piece of pink paper.

She threw me the note in a crumpled up ball, it landed in front of me on my desk. She giggled to her friend as I opened it. The note read: "You at recess” And a drawing stick man dead in front of a grave right under that.

I crumpled up the paper again and I threw it back down on my desk before I continued drawing on my piece of paper.

-

Soon enough it was nap time and the desks were moved to make room for little, uncomfortable mattresses and sleeping bags on the floor.

I tucked myself in but not before nodding at angelita, mutually agreeing to use our powers to make a little fort. I crawl around until I find my friend.

The fort looks a little more like a cave as the tunnels are thin, but it's cozy.

Finally, we found each other. "There you are!" Angelita whispered with an excited tone in her voice.

"How do they expect us to sleep in there?" I complained, sitting down on the mattress in our little fort.

"I don't know…" She said before yawning, "I am kinda sleepy though."

"Well, wake up." I began, "I got that thrown at my head." I said as I tossed Angelita the crumpled up note.

As she uncrumpled the paper her expression slowly turned to one of shock. "Who drew this?" She asked, "That girl kelly…" I sighed, "I think she's trying to rip my head off or something."

"Well what are you going to do?" My friend inquired, "You've gotta defend yourself."

"I can't defend myself! I don't know how to fight, I just, I don't even know how to do th-" Angelita cut me off by slapping me across the face. Hard.

I put my hand over the place she slapped, "Ow!"

"Hold it together girl." She replied, I scoffed at her before she continued, "We are capable of doing whatever we want." She stated before using her powers to start a flame in the palm of her hand, she held it in front of me.

I shook my head in disagreement, I produced water in my hand to put out the mini fire she started.

"I can't, that's cheating!" I commented which made her sigh and bring her hand back to where it originally was.

"Do you really think we would have these abilities if we weren't supposed to use them?"

"I don't know. I just feel like I'd have an unfair advantage."

"Well, I don't know. Why don't you call your mom and ask her what she thinks you should do?”

"My mom?" I asked, to which she hummed in agreement. "No, it's okay… She's… Probably sleeping right now and honestly I don't think she'd even pick up the phone."

Angelita used her powers to produce a white dial-up phone out of nothing, she placed it on the mattress in front of me, she picked up the phone and she handed it to me.

I sighed then took it then dialed the phone and I called my mom.

"She's not going to pick up."

"Let's see"

-

It's now recess time, I would be lying if I said I wasn't absolutely terrified for my safety so I decided to sit on the grass with my friend and wait it out.

"Did you see what she was wearing?" I heard Kelly say, obviously I was going to snoop on this conversation… I mean it's juicy and I'm only human.

"Like, it was embarrassing for everyone, and like, I told her! I was trying to be helpful, I gave her advice, I was like 'That's ugly!'" I got distracted from the conversation Kelly was having when Brandon, Kelly's boyfriend, sat next to me.

I turned my head and I looked him in the eyes with a big smile before tuning back into Kelly's conversation.

"And she just… She took it like personally, she was getting all mad about it. I was like I'm helping you.-" I watched as one of Kelly's "Friends” tapped on her shoulder. "Hey, Kelly?” The girl asked, "Stop!” Kelly slapped the girl's hand away. "Don't interrupt me.”

I see one of the girls that was with Kelly pointing at my little group so I act like I was just talking to Angelita and Brandon and not listening to their conversation, but it looks like they were just pointing out the fact that Brandon is with me.

"Are you even listening to me?" Kelly asked her friends before looking where they were pointing, making her look directly into my eyes as I talked to her boyfriend.

Kelly stormed towards us, pushing people out of the way so she could get to us faster. People gathered around us as she punched me directly in the face so i'd be on the ground. When my back hit the ground she sat on top of my legs, keeping me down, and she punched me in the face multiple times.

The kids all around us were chanting 'FIGHT!’ as she was doing this, obviously it got to her because she pulled a dagger out of her dress pocket and she held down my arm and cut it open on the inside of my arm right above my elbow.

I couldn't take the pain anymore so I activated my powers as Angelita told me to do, the leaves started floating because I made both me and Kelly float.

Kelly screamed “What are you doing?” as I did this. She was terrified, it was working. She looked around and she yelled again, “Put me down you freak!”

I used my powers to extend my braids and choke her with them, she grabbed my braids as they were all she could hold onto.

I saw Angelita looking up at the scene while smiling because I'm finally defending myself, but everyone else was gasping and covering their mouths in shock.

When Kelly gasped for air I finally let her go. It was perfect timing too because the vice principal came out and almost saw what happened.

-

It turns out I wasn't sneaky. The vice principal was dragging us by our ears to her office.

"Who would've thought that young ladies like would-” She started to scold us but Kelly interrupted her, "My mom spent good money getting these ears done!” When she said that the vice principal let go of our ears. "You have really blown it this time! Sit down!” After we heard that, me and Kelly sat down. “I mean it.” The woman whispered.

‘I shouldn't have lost control like that.’ I thought, ‘She's not a bad person, she's just… Projecting her insecurities on me.’ I thought, I rested my chin on my hand as I sat.

Soon I got bored and I used my powers to see what's happening in the principal's office…

I saw a woman with short blue hair sitting, waiting for the principal to talk to her. Actually, I believe it was Ms. Harper.

The principal sat in front of her, taking a puff from a cigar before speaking.

"You said you're… Dressing as a woman now?” The principal asked.

"Yes, I'm transitioning.” Ms. Harper replied, "Transitioning…” The principal laughed before continuing, "You know I can't let you influence the children with this ridiculous behavior.” Ms. Harper gasped as the principal spoke.

“And from now on you want us to address you as…?”

"Ms. Harper, correct.” The vice principal laughed at her, “The kids really connect with me, I love my job and I'd really love to stay! But I need to be my most authentic self! I AM a woman!” Ms. Harper said, the principal frowned at this and he exclaimed, "Mr. Harper you're fired!”

-

I came back into reality and I saw Kelly staring at some kid that was eating glue by the handful, his hair was spiked up into two horn-like spikes and he was hunched over next to Kelly.

I look away from the disgusting display and instead I watch the kid next to me open a clear bottle of pink pills.

"What are those?” I asked him, and he immediately replied. "He forces us to take these pills. Each color is a different dosage. I'm on pink, which is the lightest dose.” He swallows the pill without water.

"Why is he forcing medication on everyone?” I asked, "...To control us." The boy said with a small smile. "So we can’t leave.” He finished.

The kid next to Kelly continued to absolutely destroy the glue, he was sucking on his fingers, making loud mouth noises. "That's disgusting!” Kelly exclaimed, the kid frowned and put the glue container down.

Fourth grade Nurses office

After the show and tell in my last class I had to go to the nurses office, but the nurses were not exactly healing my wounds. Instead they were cutting my hair and drugging me up… I knew this school would be bad but I never thought it would be this bad.

But luckily my guardian angel Lilith saved me and angelita from the torture that we faced in the nurses office.

"Wait! Why are you leaving us here?” Angelita asked the angel, I added onto her statement, "We need to come with you…”

Lilith smiled at us and she spoke, "Continue on, And live your truth.” She paused, "Do not hold fear in your heart.” Lilith finished.

"Please, we don't want to die here…” I mumbled.

"You've had many bodies before this, and you will continue to have more.” Lilith stated, "You're immortal.”

"But we're exhausted…” Angelita whispered.

"We don't want to feel this anymore” I agreed

"We must feel the physical pain of this world, because the only way we can truly learn is through experience.” Lilith said, I pouted, "Please…” I said in a shaky voice.

Lilith turned away from us and she walked back into the door she came out of, that door sunk into the ground.

-

I sighed as I walked through the hallways with my best friend, I looked at all of the statues and paintings on the walls.

“Oh no…" Angelita said, “I'm going to be late for class." She sighed. "Who cares at this point.” I laughed.

"True” She agreed

“I'm so exhausted…” I complained to her, she nodded and said, "Same.”

Suddenly beautiful music played by an orchestra came into hearing rage. "Do you hear that?” Angelita asked, “I do!” I excitedly said as I walked with Angelita towards the sound.

Angelita pointed towards a huge, fancy looking door. “It's coming from over there!” Angelita said excitedly. We walked towards the oud music and we pressed our ears against the large white door with a golden door handle.

"Should we check it out?” I asked, “Yeah!” Angelita responded, “Okay…” I said as I put my hand on the door handle, preparing to open it. Angelita put her hand on the door handle too and she spoke, “Okay count on three… One, Two…Three!” We opened the door to see a big luxurious ballroom with what looked like almost a hundred ghosts of all shapes and sizes slow dancing with each other.

We looked around the ballroom for a few seconds until… I sneezed. I ruined the entire moment with just one sneeze. The music stopped and the ghosts let go of each other and turned to look at us.

Angelita waved at the ghosts, "Hello! You all look… Ravishing!” She said, “Bewitching even." I added, it only made the ghosts madder as they yelled and ran at us with their arms reaching towards us.

Both me and Angelita ran behind the doors and we hurriedly pushed them shut with all that was in us. As soon as we closed it we heard clawing and knocking against the door so we decided to leave.

“We should get to class!" I said

“Y-yeah…” She stuttered, still in shock because of the events that just occurred

“See you!

"Yeah, see you later!”

fifth grade. Drama club

"Tragedy, and comedy. Two sides of the same dramatic coin!” My drama teacher said as I walked into the theater. "And we are going to be exploring both in this play." He put his hand on his hip and he watched me try to go to my seat.

“Even the late comers." He said sternly as I sat down. Everyone turned towards me for absolutely no reason. I guess they're just nosy. They turned back around when the teacher started speaking again.

“Alright everyone, please turn to your scripts, turn to page 2 and find the role to which you've been assigned.” His accent really shone through as he spoke this sentence, this guy is extremely animated.

When I saw my role I raised my hand, "Right, so about that… Um… Is it possible to get assigned a different role? Maybe one that's not so domestic? Like a film director, or the president of the United states?” I asked, he shot down my question with this answer, “A harlot perhaps?” Everyone laughed at his joke but I didn't. I just sat in my chair with a frown.

The boy in front of me turned around and just added salt to the wound. "President? What a joke. Your kind are too soft and too sensitive to handle a man's job.”

"Having a larger capacity to feel and express emotion are one of the many qualities that make us SUPERIOR to your kind.” I replied with a smile.

-

When the time came to perform the show I ended up putting a clothes iron to the boy that said that thing to me a couple weeks ago's face. I then yelled at the audience that was obviously being brainwashed with those pills that the boy was telling me about so I made an attempt to snap them out of it.

"You're being brainwashed! Can't you see what's happening? Open your eyes!” The guards that my teacher had watching the show grabbed my arms and tried to pull me off the stage.

"Get off of me! Get off!" I yelled as they pulled my arms.

"WAKE UP!” I yelled at the audience before using my power to push the security guards off of me which also caused the kids to snap out of it.

They all ran out of the theater, including Angelita, so I came with them. I opened the door to the principal's office and everyone ran into the room and to his desk. They fought off the nurses and the rabbit-men (Men with rabbit heads, obviously.) and they all went around the principals desk, grabbing him and ripping his limbs off.

I smirked as I watched them tear his body apart with just their hands. Afterwards the janitor swept his torn off body parts away and into the garbage disposal.

Sixth grade Strawberry shortcake

I met a girl earlier named Y/n and I was about to play tennis with her but we had to bury the principal first. Luckily me and my best friend in the whole world were almost done so I can hang out with admittedly the cutest girl I've seen in a while.

We saw her writing in her green journal while walking along the path that extends from the school to the playground.

y/n pov:

"Y/n! Wait up!” Cry baby yelled as she ran up to me, Cry baby's hair was tied up into buns, I think it makes her look cute. I honestly don't know how she didn't realize that I like her yet since I've always been incredibly clingy towards her ever since we met.

"Did you find a place to dump the principal?” I asked, Angelita nodded and Cry baby responded to my question, "Yeah, just did it. Done deal.”

-

We sat on the pink and blue tennis court in the middle of the courtyard with our rackets up, me and Cry Baby hit the ball back and forth while Angelita read a magazine called "TEEN QUEEN" on the sidelines.

Suddenly Angelita said something slightly odd, "Did you guys know that there are actually 2 holes down there?" I was confused so I asked, "You didn't know you had a butthole?” which made Cry Baby giggle.

"No! There's two separate holes.” Angelita said, "Are you sure?” Cry Baby asked and Angelita just said "Mhm!”

"Then I think I need to go to a doctor!” Cry Baby said, but I wasn't paying attention. I was focused on the fact that when Angelita blew a bubble it encased the ball in a bubble and it's now floating away.

"Hey! Hey guys!” I exclaimed but neither of them were paying attention to my words. They were still talking about the earlier topic. "Hey guys!” I repeated but nope. Still nothing.

“Oh! I get it now! So one hole you can pee out of and another-” Cry Baby began but i just tuned their conversation out. "Why does nobody listen to me?” I whispered to myself, "Guys the ball is floating away!” They finally heard me and they turned around to see that the ball literally was floating away.

“Oh!” Angelita exclaimed before quickly getting up and chasing the ball with Cry Baby. I ran after it with them too, "The ball!” I laughed.

“I feel like we're going the wrong way.” Cry Baby said as she tried to find the pink tennis ball with us. Luckily it popped, but it didn't fall towards us. Instead, it fell in front of a boy that was reading a book.

He picked up the ball and he handed it to us when we ran over. He seemed nice.

Cry Baby pov: (Again) Also, seventh grade, Lunchbox friends

I opened my eyes to see a sky full of beautiful shining stars and the voice of Lilith all around me. I spoke to her, Lilith said, "What's wrong my dear?” As I laid on the dirt ground, holding back tears.

I sighed, “I just don't want to do this anymore…” I whined, “I don't wanna feel this pain and I dont wanna be here on Earth…” I frowned as I watched the stars flicker in the sky. "Please just take me with you…” I paused, “I just wanna be up there!” I listened to my voice echo as I spoke.

"The greatest power we will hold is that of acceptance. Any storm you face will transform itself into a crystalline rainbow in divine timing.” Lilith spoke, afterwards i closed my eyes and I stopped my daydream.

-

"Hey, you there?” Y/n asked as she grabbed my arm, I just said "Yeah.” As I continued walking up the spiral stairs with her and Angelita.

Angelita clutched her stomach as she walked up the stairs with us which only made us confused. “Are you okay?” I asked my best friend as she headed up the stairs.

“Ugh… I feel so sick… Like this is the worst stomach pain I've ever experienced.” Angelita said then she knelt down on the last step.

Both me and y/n saw the blood on the bottom of her skirt and it became clear what was happening. She finally got her period. Me and () looked each other in the eyes and we said, “Ohhh…” In unison.

-

We opened the door to the bathroom and Angelita started to complain. “Ugh! Why right now!?”

“I mean it had to happen at some point."" Y/n pointed out. We walked up to the tampon machine and I spoke.

“It says there's one tampon left… Do either of you have any change?” I asked, turning towards them.

"No…” They both said in unison, so I channeled my powers and I opened the machine with my telekinesis.

"Yes!” Angelita whispered as it flung open. “It's empty.” I said in a disappointed tone of voice as I looked at Angelita. I slammed the door closed then spoke again, “Whatever… Who knows what kind of crazy shit is in them anyways!”

“I mean yeah… Toxic shock is real but… Tampons should be free.” Y/n frowned.

"What do I do now?” Angelita said with a sigh, I looked around for something but then I just said, "Toilet paper.”

Angelita made a disgusted face before just heading into the stall and going with it.

After about 3 minutes y/n got bored and decided to speak, "You good in there?” She asked Angelita to which she responded, "Yeah.”

"You sure?" She asked Angelita.

"Yeah, I'm almost done." Angelita responded

"Do you need me to get you another roll of toilet paper?

"That'd be great!”

I leaned against the wall next to the stalls as we waited for Angelita to finish up, then I said "We're gonna be late to class Y/n.”

“Ugh… Empathize with me a little!" Angelita yelled at us from inside the stall, “I'm sorry” I said as I tilted my head back, making my head hit the wall.

Angeita came out of the stall with a sweater around her waist, "Cute sweater!” Y/n said to Angelita when she saw her, "Where'd you get that from?” She asked.

“I just whipped a little something up.” I couldn't help but laugh at that. "What! I wasn't gonna walk around looking like I sat in raspberries all day.” Angelita said before the bathroom door opened and one of the nurses came in. Angelita started washing her hands as the nurse spoke to us.

The nurse bumped me with her shoulder and she scolded us, "Get back to class!” She paused before saying something under her breath “You little bitch.” She slammed the stalls door closed and we left.

Y/n pov.

"Hey guys… I don't know how long I can go with this toilet paper. It's so annoying… It keeps moving around down there.” Angelita sighed after she said this.

"Well good thing you don't have to deal with it much longer!” Cry Baby said with a big smile. "Thank the goddess…” Angelita replied as she smiled back at Cry Baby.

( Back in the bathroom with that one nurse)

She looked down, noticing that she just got her period, "Shit…” The nurse said before checking the pocket on her shirt only for no tampon to be there. “Are you serious?” She then reached for the toilet paper roll only for it to be empty from Angelita.

I arrived in the lunch room with Cry Baby and Angelita and after we got lunch Angelita and I sat at a lunch table, since Cry Baby was way behind us in line she just got to the front. I was watching her get lunch when Kelly came up to her and pulled her away. 'That's weird…’I thought, but I just turned around and talked to Angelita about random things.

Cry Baby pov:

While the blond girls were talking to me, I just got up and walked away from them since I seriously feel no need to be popular.

I came back to the group with a new girl, Magnolia. She had powers like the rest of us so I knew she would end up fitting in. I walked with her, arm in arm, to meet back up with my REAL friends. I would never choose those plastics over what I know is real.

"Hey!” I said as I approached my friends, I smiled as Y/n spoke, "Thank god you're back!” he walked the rest of the way up to me “I thought you were busy becoming a plastic carbon copy” She pouted at me and I smiled harder at her cuteness.

"This is Magnolia, say hi.” I introduced my friends to the new girl, “nice to meet you ladies” Magnolia spoke as she activated her powers, turning her eyes pitch black. Then she deactivated them in just a couple seconds though because our group was pretty… Secretive with our powers.

"Welcome!” Y/n said excitedly as she hugged Magnolia tightly. I looked over to the popular girls to see that one of them had powers like us. She was unpeeling an orange with her mind so it was pretty damn obvious that she was one of us.

"Holy shit!” I said, the girls looked over at Fleur, “Is she… One of us?” Y/n asked, I sighed and I replied to her "Yes but… How do we go up to her?” I asked, "She's sitting with Kelly.” I pointed out.

Magnolia smirked as she came up with the perfect idea, She looked around the group before suggesting something. "Food fight anyone?"

We all hummed in agreement and y/n rapidly nodded, “I like this girl."" She commented which made all of us giggle.

We turn around and I take a step forward as Angelita grabs her pink lunch tray and she hands it to me. "What, do I just throw it?” I asked before I grabbed Angelitas pb&j. "Pretty sure that's how food fights go down.” She smiled as she watched me nervously throw it at a girl across the lunch room.

“Ow!” She exclaimed as the blue boy sitting across from her got up.

"FOOD FIGHT!” He yelled and everyone in the lunchroom threw food at each other, "You're fucking kidding me!” Kelly complained as she got under the lunch table with her little plastic minions.

I laughed and I got under the table with my friends too. “I gotta get in on this!” Angelita yelled as she grabbed some floor spaghetti. "Not with this hair. I just had wash day." Magnolia responded.

We watched Kelly run away from the scene with her group. "She's leaving with Kelly!” Y/n pointed out, I sighed in defeat. "Let's go after them!” Angelita suggested but Y/n quickly tried to convince us otherwise, "Yeah. Let's just start a parade.”

"Cry Baby I think you need to do this alone.” Y/n said, I thought about her words for a second… She was right. I do have to do it alone. “Okay… Wish me luck!” I said as I got out from under the table.

“Aright, good luck bitch!” Y/n yelled to her. "So barbaric…” I heard her whisper as I left.

“If you don't put that floor spaghetti down!” She scolded Magnolia right as I entered the bathroom where Fleur and Kelly were.

I snuck into the stall next to them so I could listen to their words… What Kelly was saying to Fleur honestly broke my heart. She was telling her that her body wasn't perfect enough, that she needed to only eat oranges from now on so she wouldn't gain weight… It was devastating. I knew I had to do something about this.

I waited until Kelly was done yelling at Fleur, right as I was about to come out I heard more yelling. But Fleur was talking to herself. She was yelling horrible things about her body into the mirror

Eighth grade Orange juice.

This has been happening for a year straight. I want to help Fleur so bad but every time I try Kelly gets in the way. Everyday I went into the bathroom with them and I heard Fleur trying to make herself throw up in the stall next to me, luckily today I got my chance to help.

I came up to her after Kelly left, I finally took the chance to speak to her without anybody else in the room with us. I tried my best to give her some advice, "Wanna know something I learned about bodies?” I asked her, “They don't define us.” I looked in the mirror with her then I continued, "We aren't our bodies. They're just temporary.” I looked in her eyes as I spoke this to her.

“I know it seems impossible but try not to expect shallow people to love you. They don't even have the capacity to understand how amazing you are.” I turned towards her before finishing what I was saying, “And we all have to learn how to love ourselves without the approval of others.” I finally heard Fleur talk to me after this.

“I know... It's just extremely overwhelming when everyone around you is making you feel like you're not good enough!” She frowned at me, “As if you're not deserving of the same kind of love if you're different.” She looked down at me since I'm much shorter than her, Fleur stands at 6 feet tall and I'm only 5'2.

“Everyones deserving of love.” I told her, “Everyone.” I repeated. I hugged Fleur from the side and I looked in the mirror with her.

-

There was still chaos outside the lunch room. Everyone was fighting… People were running out into the hallways, people were hiding under tables… It was bad.

I stepped out of the bathroom with Fleur and Angelita yellout out to us, "Cry Baby! Over here!” Fleur followed me as I hid behind the lunch counter with the rest of my friends.

"This is Fleur.” I introduced everyone to her and Fleur waved at them.

The girl next to Kelly tapped her shoulder and Kelly scolded her. "What did we talk about!? Don't touch me!” The girl sighed "Sorry… Yeah I know… Sorry… But isn't that Fleur over there next to Cry Baby?” She pointed to us behind the counter, Kelly turned around and she groaned.

“It's crazy out there!” Angelita yelled to us since it was so loud that we could barely hear her.

“I know, it's literally chaotic!” I yelled back.

I stopped smiling when I saw the rabbit men. They were the security guards of this school, basically they were bun with rabbit heads.

I saw the principal's son follow suit. "It's Leo!” I heard someone whisper, “It’s the principal's son…” I said to myself in disbelief.

“Who started this?” He asked the kids in the lunchroom, “It was that bitch Cry Baby!” Kelly yelled to him, the rabbit men dragged me to detention with them.

-

I sat in detention with my wrists tied to the desks, the nurses occasionally coming in and giving me a shot in a big needle to chill me out and to control my powers so I couldn't escape.

I ended up being able to use my powers through trial and error, I controlled the principal's son's mind and I made him release me from detention by loosening the restraints. I couldn't use my powers for too long though because the old dose of my meds were still going strong. I was able to get out though and I met up with my friends outside of the detention room.

9th grade Y/n pov:

I snuck around the unusually empty hallways, looking for Cry Baby's locker, number 22. I was carrying a note I wrote just for her that was expressing my feelings of love for her… Of course I forgot to sign it though.

When I found Cry Babys locker I quickly stuffed it in there, I looked around the halls and I tried to act natural when I saw that Cry Baby, Angelita and Magnolia were coming my way.

“Okay guys…” I started to speak to my friends but I saw Cry Baby start to go through her locker so I started paying even less attention to what was happening than I was before. I anxiously watched Cry Baby find the letter as I let Angelita take over for me.

The letter read:

I caught a sparkle of light in your eyes that day. I bathed in it, was transported to heaven's gates by it… But I fall at my feet. My words shall only be composed. I can't speak, my inner voice calling my outer self weak.

Admiring from afar, secretly, Y/…

Suspiciously, the last part was crossed out… it looked a lot like the beginning of y/n’s name though, weird.

"Yeah… Sorry.” She started to fold the letter back up so I continued to talk. “Your job is to manipulate the spawn of Satan himself into letting you into his office so we can hijack that loud speaker and get everyone out of here.

Magnolia looked at the note in Cry Baby's hand and she motioned to it. "What's that?” She asked, “I think it's a love letter!” Cry Baby said in an excited tone of voice, “A love letter? From who?” Magnolia asked as if she didn't already know, she was the only person I trusted enough to ask since I knew Angelita would just tell Cry Baby about my secret.

“I don't know, it doesn't say." Cry Baby giggled with Magnolia about the love letter from me. I think she liked it…?

“Alright guys, back to the plan. We already got rid of the principal so that just leaves Leo. We lock him in his office, make a run for it…” I fidgeted with my notebook as I spoke, trying not to look suspicious in front of Cry Baby. “And then we set the place on fire…?” Angelita asked with an unsure voice, "Yes! Exactly.” I responded.

“I don't know about that guys…” Fleur mumbled, she never did take risks like this, it makes sense for her to be hesitant. “I agree. Fire is too cliché.” Cry baby agreed, that settles it. If she thinks it's cliché we aren't doing it… but what other choice do we have?

“I mean you’re right… But at this point what other options do we have?” I asked, which ended up settling it. We're setting the place on fire during senior prom.

10th grade Cry Baby pov: High school sweethearts

I was with my best friend Angelita, walking through the garden before I pulled out one of my blunts and offered it to her, she took it and I lit it for her before she took a big inhale. We both needed this so we'd calm down after a long, stressful school day.

“I hope we don't get caught!” She said as I took the blunt straight out of her mouth and took a drag.

"We should be fine.” I dismissed her worries. We listened to birds chirping as we walked through the beautiful garden, down the gravel path in between bushes carved to look like rabbits.

I handed the blunt to Angelita as I spoke, "Do you ever wonder who we were to each other in a past life?” I asked, “Oh for sure! We probably had hundreds of lives together.” She agreed.

“You could've been my mom.”

"Yeah, or we could've been…”

"Conjoined twins?” We said in unison as we pointed at each other.

“And our parents sold us to a fucking freak show!” I joked with her, "That would explain a lot…” She took another drag from the blunt, "That would.” I responded.

“It's crazy how many medical benefits Mary Jane has.” I sighed before taking the blunt from Angelita, already feeling the weed kicking in, I'm definitely getting calmer.

“I know, and no one gives her any credit!"

"We don't deserve her.” I jokingly pouted as I spoke this sentence which made Angelita giggle. "Wow…” Angelita whispered as we passed a very impressive carving of a rabbit in a bush.

"Speaking of magical plants…” I pointed at the bush and Angelita skipped toward it but I stayed on the gravel path. I watched her admire all of the details intricately carved into the leaves, she touched the tail before jogging back towards me.

-

I opened my leather-bound notebook at the end of the hallway, I could hear someone mumbling at the end of the hallway but I didn't care about that. It's definitely someone just being weird because they think they're alone.

As soon as I looked up I saw the old principal's son Leo speed-walking towards me… Shit… What does he have to say?

"Hey.” He said as he sat down next to me, "Hi…?” I responded with a confused tone in my voice.

“Are you okay?” The boy asked, obviously since I sounded so confused (And admittedly slightly annoyed.) I nodded as an answer to his question since I didn't want to talk to this bitch.

“You sure?”

"Yeah what's up?"

“Um… I… I was looking for you because I wanted to ask you… I would like you to go to the dance with me." I managed to give him a fake smile which felt disgusting to do.

"Really?” I tried to sound excited about him asking me to the dance, I already had my eyes on someone…

"Why?” I asked him, I really did want to know. "Well, I don't know if you got my note but…"

Wait… He wrote the letter? With that poetic touch I just assumed it must've been written by a girl… Damn.

Well, you know what they say! Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

"You mean a lot to me…” He said before I cut him off, “I’d love to go with you.” I lied, luckily I'm a good actress.

“Okay! That'd be great!” He said as he got up and left me alone again in the hallway.

12th grade Recess Y/n pov:

Finally, senior dance. I get to put the plan in motion… Me and my group of friends looked around the ballroom as we took in the intricate details of the gorgeous room.

"Ladies, this place looks beautiful doesn't it?” Everyone hummed in agreement, “It'll make some beautiful ashes.” I finished.

“I'm really nervous… Should we really be doing this?” Fleur asked, she was always so nervous about our little plans. “It'll be fine. Tonights the night.” Angelita comforted her friend

"Just stick to the plan." I told Fleur since I knew she'd probably go off of the plan in some place. "I made it. It's meticulous, you'll be okay.”

I watched as Cry Baby entered in her beautiful ball gown, she looked around at her surroundings, as i watched her I accidentally spilled my punch all over the floor so I just ignored it.

"Wait… Why is she here?” Fleur gestured towards Cry Baby, which made everyone in our group look over at her in curiosity, Cry Baby was just wandering around the ballroom but she looked gorgeous as always

We walk towards her as a group but Angelitas date stops her for a second, “Angelita, Don't you want to dance now?” He asked, Angelita made a disgusted face at the blue boy and she scoffed.

"Don't you want to fuck off now?” The boy walked off sadly after she said that to him, but luckily another girl started talking to him afterwards.

"There is no way in hell you had enough time to get rid of leo.” I confronted Cry Baby, she looked at me confused, "Yeah, shouldn't you be up there?” Fleur asked, "Where…?” Magnolia asked, "The loud speaker!” I yelled at Magnolia in an annoyed tone of voice, she was already sick of being the leader.

"Yeah, why aren't you up there?” Magnolia asked Cry Baby which just made her sigh.

“Okay… So… I got asked to the dance by Leo.” Cry Baby explained to us which just made us more annoyed.

"What?!” Angelita exclaimed at Cry Baby's statement, I just got jealous on top of the anger.

"Seriously? You let that MONSTER manipulate you?” I shouted which seemed to make her have to hold back tears.

"Well…” She trailed off but Fleur interrupted her. "Even I didn't abandon ship this time! And trust me… I wanted to.”

“I thought we were actually going to get out of this place for good.” Magnolia crossed her arms as she spoke and she frowned at Cry Baby.

“Look,” Cry Baby sighed, “I'm sorry.” I tilted my head at her as if I'm questioning her words. “I am!” she looked at Angelita as she spoke, we could tell that she actually felt bad for doing this to us.

We look away from her since we genuinely don't believe a word she's saying.

"Seriously!?” Cry Baby exclaimed, she looked up at the LED covered ceiling before continuing, "Look, I guess I was just-” Cry Baby began only to be interrupted again but this time by Angelita, "Being selfish.” Angelita shook her head at the shorter girl in front of her after she spoke but that just made Cry Baby walk off and slam the drink she had on the table next to us. "Forget it."

"Wait!” Angelita yelled trying to get her attention but I grabbed Angelitas arm and I told her, “No, it’s fine. Just let her go.

We turned to each other to continue talking about our plan until we heard the loudspeaker come on with a loud high pitched ring, causing us to plug our ears.

“Good evening, and welcome to K-12’s 150th school dance.” Leo spoke, breathing down the damn microphone.

“This isn't part of the plan…” I whispered to Angelita as the crowd cheered and applauded.

“Now, before I let you all get back to dancing all night… quite literally… I would just like to say just one thing. Cry Baby, I know what you’ve been up to.” The group looked at each other in shock.

“I’ve been watching you… For a long time now… And did you all think that you could just kill my father, get away with it and have your nice little dance?” We heard him panting into the microphone at his desk in anger.

“Yes…?” I commented, making Fleur quietly laugh at my comment before getting serious again herself.

Leo laughed then finished his statement over the loudspeaker, “I don’t think so seniors… Not tonight.”

Angelita’s date ran over to the large white doors, trying to shake the door handles but they didn’t budge.

“The doors are locked!” The blue boy yelled right before Leo got back onto the loudspeaker.

“So dance… DANCE!” An oddly comforting song played through the speakers, replacing “Tip Toe Thru’ the Tulips with Me” by Tiny Tim. Leo laughed as we were all forced to dance to the song, then he yelled “DANCE!” Yet again.

I was too young to see the truth

In my grandma's lap, I'm drowning in her perfume

Too naive to even care

'Bout the words she whispered while she brushed out my hair

“Whats happening?” Angelita asked me, “I don’t know… What's going on!?” I yelled.

“I mean… I can't stop!” I heard Magnolia say to Fleur, We all looked at the other dancers swaying, spinning and twirling around the ballroom.

"We've gotta do something guys!”I spoke to my friend while I involuntarily danced with Angelita.

“I mean… I love dancing but this is ridiculous!” I grabbed angelitas hand and I continued to dance with her to the beat.

People gonna say

"If you need a break, someone'll take your place"

People gonna try

To tell you that you're fine with dollars in their eyes (just remember)

"We need to find Cry Baby and stop this now!” Magnolia shouted to us over the music, Fleur just seemed like she was silently panicking so she'd obviously be no help.

Don't let them fuck you, honey, no, oh

Don't let them try (ooh)

Don't let them hurt you

Baby, just say, "Recess, I'm tired"

Sittin’ in my room looking at all I’ve done

Everything I wanted has come to fruition

I should be happy, but I can't get out my bed

Stressin’ ‘bout the voices screamin’ inside my head

“My powers won't start! I've lost control!” I panicked as I desperately tried to start my powers

“Yeah, I can't use mine either!” Magnolia commented.

"Where is she…” Angelita cried as her legs and feet started to hurt from all of the dancing. "God, my legs are KILLING me!” Angelita added.

Fleur looked back at us with an understanding expression.

Don't let them fuck you, honey, no, oh

Don't let them try (ooh)

Don't let them hurt you

Baby, just say, "Recess, I'm tired"

Leo watched as we danced with each other, he kicked his feet up on the desk and smiled in twisted satisfaction but his attention was torn away from his many monitors when a woman he's never seen before entered the room.

"Hello Ms?” Leo said with a confused tone of voice as he looked at the beautiful young woman. Instead of responding she strutted over to him at the side of his desk.

"Hey, I'm Laura Leigh. I'm here to apply for the… Assistant position.” She smirked at him as he weighed his options.

He stumbled over his words before he got it together "Yeah… The assistant position.”

Leo turned down the volume of his speaker so he can focus on the woman in front of him.

After a while of making out and hands in places they definitely SHOULDNT be in a principal's office, 'Laura’ spoke to Leo again.

"Y'know, I've always had this fantasy…” Leo glanced up at the woman above him, "And what's that?” The woman continued speaking after the interruption, “Of being intimate in a really confined space.” He smiled at Laura, "Really?” He picked her up bridal style, "Well you are in luck…” He set her down before he opened the door to the walk in closet which was conveniently placed right beside them.

Ï had a dream like this once…” He fidgeted with the collar of his shirt, "Me too.” The woman said before she… Shapeshifted into who she actually was, Cry Baby. She locked him in the closet before turning off the music in the room where her friends were locked up but luckily no longer dancing.

"Hey!” He banged on the door, "Hey! You bitch! Let me out!” Leo eventually gave up and sat on the ground, realizing what just happened.

“Everybody, evacuate the school immediately! Go! Now!” Cry Baby spoke into the loudspeaker which was still on before running into the ballroom and opening the doors so everybody could leave and finally escape from the sleepaway school.

"She's safe!” Angelita sighed in relief before grabbing my hand and running out of the room.

"C'mon Everybody! Let's go!” I yelled as everyone cheered and ran out of the huge honestly beautiful room… But not kelly. Kelly hesitated for a minute, just standing there in the middle of the ballroom decorated in the most beautiful fairy lights.

"Hey, Let's go! C'mon!” Fleur waved Kelly over to the group of young adults who were finally escaping literal hell.

Kelly raised her skirt just above her heels so she could run off with the group of students escaping.

The blue boy was in the front of the pack of students escaping down each staircase of the school, once they finally got out they ran across the distractingly green and lush lawn in front of the school, if they didn't know about the abuse that used to take place in there they would have been tricked into thinking that it was a great place to be!

When we were finally outside of the horrible institution I stopped Angelita, Fleur and Magnolia since I realized that Cry Baby wasn't following us. I looked around the yard shouting the name of the young lady whom I love so much, I couldn't lose her when the school was lit ablaze… If that happened of course.

I ran back into the school so I could find her. The girls tried to stop me but I ignored them and I just ran right back into the place.

I saw that Cry Baby opened the windows to the balcony when I passed the room that she was in so I ran into the room but I didn't go onto the balcony with her. I saw her looking around to see what she could do to escape and destroy this place all at the same time.

"What do I do… Oh my god… What do I do…” I heard her whisper, I stared at her, which kind of seems creepy… you have to know that I obviously didn't mean it in a creepy way! I was just thinking about what to do since I was unsure!

“Okay… Think… Think…" She slapped the stone railing in frustration when she didn’t come up with anything, but of course that hurt so she pulled back with a pout.

I ran onto the balcony with her so I could help her make her decision.

"Hey!” I yelled while I was still panting from the run it took to get to the top story of the massive school.

“Oh shit!” Cry Baby whispered when she flinched from the surprise of me being here.

"You NEED to go downstairs!” Cry Baby pointed towards the door.

“I'm sorry… I didn't mean to startle you.” finally caught my breath and I stopped panting.

“I'm here to help.”

"Look, I appreciate that but I-” I sighed and I cut her off, "Well… I'm the one who wrote the love letter.”

Cry Baby looked up at me in shock before she looked down at everyone running out of the school's doors.

“I knew a girl wrote that…” She whispered to herself with a smile.

“Okay, well… How do we destroy this place?” Cry Baby asked me as she turned around to face me. "Please… I don't know what to do. Do you have any ideas?”

“Uh… I can't think of anything right now… um…” I thought back to the time Angelita accidentally made a bubble and encased the entire tennis ball which made it float away.

"Oh! I've got it! Do you know how to blow spit bubbles?” I asked her, she looked at me with her brows furrowed, "What? Now isn't the time for that!”

"No! I mean… We could put the school in a spit bubble so it'll float away! Y'know… with our powers?” I glanced back at her hoping for a response.

“Okay… Well… Let's try it.” I heard Leo messing with things in the closet, looking for a key so I hurried with the bubble.

“Are you ready?” Cry Baby asked me, “I mean no I haven't really done this before so…” I replied, Cry Baby grabbed the railing since she was panicking a little bit, "Y/n! This is serious! We have to try this okay?” She started getting annoyed with me, “Okay, okay…”

We started blowing the spit bubble, making it not pop with my powers, I looked over at Cry Baby to make sure she was blowing a bubble with the same haste as I was.

This feels oddly intimate, I mean we're blowing a spit bubble to save the students of our school… alone…? I mean… If you get it you get it.

I saw our friends staring at the bubble we were blowing that was the size of half of the school at this point. I know we can do it… I am quickly getting extremely dizzy though. I hope i dont pass out before we are able to finish this mission.

Eventually the bubble picked up the entire school so we stopped blowing it and we made a plan to get out of the floating school now.

"Oh shit… We don't have too much time until we're too high up. We need to jump! Right now!” Cry Baby grabbed my hand but that didn't help my anxiety at all.

"But if we jump we'll die!”

"The fear of death is irrational right now Y/n! Either we die in a couple minutes, or we attempt to live right now, okay?” Cry Baby said before she took off the back part of her dress that drags on the ground and she grabbed my hand again.

"Now!” We both jumped up onto the railing, we hesitated for a minute before jumping off.

A lot of thoughts went through my head as I fell… Was I going to live? Would this be the end of my life? Right when I turned 18? I hope I don't die from this. If I do, at least the other students lived.

When my body hit the ground I closed my eyes tight… But I didn't feel any pain? I don't think anything broke either.

“Oh… Oh god… What the fuck just happened!” I turned towards Cry Baby as I laid back on the grass, facing the sky.

I saw the school bow up with a puff of pink smoke when the bubble popped, Cry Baby smiled widely at me after the large explosion happened, then she leaned over and kissed me on the cheek before running over to our friends, after a couple seconds I followed her.

“Il y a du sang partout…” Angelita spoke with a smile. "What does that mean?” Magnolia asked, “It means ‘There's blood everywhere.’ I don't really know french… It's just something I picked up as a kid. I had a French nanny." She smiled at Magnolia before greeting Cry Baby with a little wave.

We watched as Lilith's door came out of the ground with a loud rumble, the door opened to reveal the angel herself. Lilith stepped out and I looked over at Cry Baby as she yelled, “Oh my god it's Lilith!”

I listened to her cutely giggling before I followed her to the door, I watched Celeste, Fleur and Angelita run into the door but both me and Cry Baby stayed.

“Are you coming?” I asked with a gesture to the door, Cry Baby just looked around before grabbing my hand and leading me into the door… But when we stepped foot into what turned out to be a Portal everything went to black.

A/n do you guys want me to continue this but with them in the portals universe? Let me know!

Tag list: @melissaeilishortega @ashs-trashblog @adam-malkov @osnapitzmel1 @powwowsworld @amburntfreeman @fortythree-or-43 @jensortega813 @czalzver @paladinncleric @cursedashes also @mindyswhore because she wanted to see

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Bengiyo's Queer Cinema Syllabus

For those who are not aware, I have decided to run the gauntlet of @bengiyo’s Queer Cinema Syllabus and have officially started Unit 2: Race, Disability, and Class. The films in Unit 2 are: The Way He Looks (2014), Being 17 (2016), Naz and Maalik (2015), The Obituary of Tunde Johnson (2019), Margarita With a Straw (2014), and My Beautiful Laundrette (1985)

Today I will be writing about

The Way He Looks (2014) dir. Daniel Ribeiro

(image descriptions in alt text)

[Available on Amazon, Run Time- 1:36, Language: Portuguese]

Summary: Leonardo is a blind teenager searching for independence. His everyday life, the relationship with his best friend, Giovana, and the way he sees the world change completely with the arrival of Gabriel. 

Cast Ghilherme Lobo as Leonardo, a blind teenager Fabio Audi as Gabriel, Leonardo’s love interest Tess Amorim as Giovana, Leonardo’s best friend

__

I will tell you right now that I was so excited when I saw this on Ben’s list of films. I remember watching the 15 minute short I Don’t Want to Go Back Alone that was made in 2011, with the same premise and actors. The popularity of that short resulted in the creation of a feature length film that aired in 2014. I have not seen this movie probably since 2014, but I remember that I deeply deeply loved both the short and the feature film. 

So though there are a metric fuck ton of movies on this list, and it would honestly be smarter overall of me to skip over the films I have already seen. There is no way in hell that I will be doing that for this film. I would like to experience the nostalgia, thank you very much. 

As a note, while I am slowly starting to embrace “disabled” as an identity for myself, I do not have Leo’s disability, and would be curious to hear if anyone who is legally blind has seen this film and what their thoughts on the portrayal of blindness in it is. Obviously you do not have to do that. So with the acknowledgement that the actor who plays Leonardo is not blind in real life, I think it is time to talk about this film!

I love that you can tell immediately this is going to be a gay film because it opens with a pool scene, and as we should all know by now, the pools are for the gays. I think this film does an incredible job of setting up Leonardo’s blindness for the audience both in the way that she does not properly disguise her smile at the joking suggestion that Leo and her kiss because she knows Leo can’t see her reactions as well as in the very casual way Leo continues to talk to Giovanna after she has dipped underneath the water again because he cannot see where she went.

I like that much of Leonardo’s character really revolves around straining against the barriers his parents have placed around him, and being a normal teenager. It is very important to me in pieces that include disability that the disabled person is portrayed as close to a normal person as they can be. Leonardo doesn’t communicate with his parents when he decides to stay out late, he sneaks out of his house, he has a crush on a boy he isn’t quite sure likes him back. Walt Junior in Breaking Bad gets in fights with his parents and gets mad at his mom because she takes away the fancy car Walt bought him. Heart in Moonlight Chicken sneaks out, and wants to learn how to drive a moped, and work a job.

It is possible to show where someone’s limitations are and the adaptations that exist as a result of them, while ensuring that you are not doing what Leo’s mother is often doing and infantilizing her teenage son because she is worried about his safety (which is like, also just a Mom thing so I’ve heard). 

Something that I have noticed in a few of the romance plots that involve disabled characters (since this entire syllabus is a build up to watching BLs I will use The Way He Looks and Moonlight Chicken as my comparison points here) is that the disabled character is often treated with kid gloves by the people who have known them the longest, and that a new character comes in that is generally unfamiliar with their disability, can forget they have it, and generally treats the disabled character with far more normalcy than the rest of their friends and family. 

And that trend exists in both The Way He Looks and in Moonlight Chicken. In Moonlight Chicken, Li Ming meets Heart, doesn’t understand that he is Deaf initially, but then does start learning sign language, but even as he learns sign language sometimes he will catch himself starting to speak without signing, forgetting that Heart can’t hear him, and then he will stop mid-sentence and correct his behavior. In The Way He Looks, Gabriel frequently makes comments or suggests activities that rely on sight and remind Leonardo and the audience that Gabriel forgets about Leo’s disability. I like this in the way that Leo is trying to show the people in his life that he can be independent, and they are having a difficult time adjusting to that reality. His parents worry for his safety and Giovanna wants to believe that Leo needs to rely on her and her help because she has a crush on him and wants to keep him close. 

And while I am not blind, and I do not interact frequently with blind people in person, I will say that one of my favorite moments in this film is when Gabriel walks Leo home by himself for the first time, and forgets to tell Leo about possible hazards on the sidewalk. This continues to affirm that while there are positives to Gabriel forgetting Leo’s disability in terms of allowing Leo to have more freedom and to get new experiences, like going to the movies, that Gabriel isn’t perfect and that for all the independence Leo wants, there are going to be things that he will want or need help with that people have to be prepared to enact. I love this moment too for the fact that Gabriel apologies, Leo says “it’s alright, you’ll warn me next time” and still allows Gabriel to keep their arms linked while also pulling out his cane so that he can have a safer and more secure understanding of the sidewalk in front of him and identify any potential hazards himself. And I love even more that he continues to use his cane for days or weeks after he stumbles over a tripping hazard until Gabriel tells him he can put the cane away (an indication that he feels comfortable with his role in helping Leo navigate without having to be explicit about it).

There are lots of wonderful little details in Ghilherme’s performance, and even in the props and sets. More than once in the movie, someone will touch Leonardo, kiss him on the cheek, etc and he will very subtly jerk back, caught off guard by not being able to see the action coming. You can see his walking cane sticking out of the side pocket of his backpack. At home, Leo is frequently in the dark, which is double fun because lots of gay shit happens in the dark, and because it is yet another subtle reminder that Leo is totally blind. He has no use for lights.

I like that Leo’s friends and teachers don’t just let abuse happen to him, and will interject if they see classmates act out of line, but I also appreciate that Leo does not really seem that bothered or impacted by the bullying he faces. We never see him breakdown about it, we never really see him lose his spark. He never appears to be worried about what people will do or say to him. His biggest hang up for about half the film is the fact that his best friend is mad at  him and won’t talk to him, and that he wants to study abroad. That is primarily what he worries about. Yet he isn’t one of the stoic sufferers either, we get to see those little moments of self consciousness, when he says he can’t dance, when he waits to go in to the showers until everyone else has left because it’s awkward, etc. 

I love that there is not suffering in this film, even as there are direct and indirect references to ableism and homophobia. Leo’s bullies make comments about how being friends with Gabriel have turned Leo more masculine, they make comments about Gabriel and Leo being in a relationship just because they are linking arms to Gabriel can guide him, Gabriel kisses Leo and then runs away immediately afterwards. Leo’s bullies wave their fingers an inch in front of Leo’s face close enough where he feels something is maybe off but can’t tell what it would be, they make comments about the machine he uses to take notes, they try to get him to kiss a dog during the spin the bottle game. And for all that these moments of cruelty exist, the bullies are literally silenced at the end and the main bully is made to look like a fool with the acknowledgement of Gabriel and Leonardo’s relationship. All of the bully’s friends start laughing at him, when Leo stops and takes Gabriel’s hand. Giovana is upset that Leo has a crush on Gabriel, not because he is gay, but because she had a crush on Leo and is realizing that she has no chance with him. 

Considering this is a movie in the race, disability, and class section I do kind of wish that we could have gotten a bit further into the intersection of disability and queerness here, two oppressed and marginalized identities.  But ultimately, it is not that kind of film and that is totally okay. 

By, For, About 

Again, I do not know for certain the sexuality of the people who are involved in the storytelling elements of this show, but I think I am leaning towards By and About queer people. Because being queer is not the central aspect of this story to me, rather the mounting desire for independence and general high school friend drama is far more prominent of a theme in this film, I do not think it is for queer people. 

It is wonderful, and there are many moments in it that do not let you forget these characters are queer. Leo masturbates wearing Gabriel’s hoodie, Gabriel sees Leo naked in the shower and gets a boner, etc. But for me this story is about possibility, independence, friendship, and love rather than The Queer Experience™. 

Favorite Moment 

I am torn between two. The first being the movie theater scene and the second being the eclipse scene. Ultimately they have similar vibes which is why it’s hard for me to choose.

In the movie theater scene, Gabriel has just prior learned that he and Leo both wanted to procrastinate on their history project, and Gabriel suggests they go see a movie, forgetting Leo can’t see. But Leo agrees to go, and we get this really beautiful moment of Leo getting a chance to lean in close to Gabriel (ah the intricate rituals to touch the skin of other men) and to ask him to narrate what is going on. I love it because it shows us this gentle way of Leo helping Gabriel to adapt the theater experience, and the fact that they are whispering back and forth to one another feels like they are telling secrets, even as Gabriel is simply telling Leo what he is seeing on screen. I love too the aftermath of that movie trip being that Giovana is upset that she wasn’t invited, and though we don’t get much more than a line from Leo akin to “we never go to the movies” that line itself speaks volumes, at least to me, about the boxes that Leo’s loved ones have put him in. Leo is blind, so why would he ever go to the movies? He can’t see what’s on screen. Yet because Gabriel at that point in the film often forgets that Leo is blind, Leo is able to experience something new and to find a way to guide Gabriel so that they can both enjoy the experience.

Similarly, Leo is invited by Gabriel to go and watch the lunar eclipse, before Gabriel once again realizes that Leo cannot see it. But Leo still agrees, and we get another beautiful moment where Gabriel tries to explain what an eclipse is and what it looks like to Leo. We get this tender moment where Gabriel has an excuse to gently touch Leo’s cheek as he asks “You know how your face is warmed by sunlight?” at the beginning of his explanation (ah, the intricate rituals that allow men to touch the skin of other men). I love that Gabriel and Leo are once again able to share a moment, once again in the dark, and this time Gabriel does not have to be guided towards narrating the view as much as Leo asks a single question and Gabriel tries multiple ways of discussion the concept until he sees what explanation clicks in Leo’s head. 

Favorite Quote

“Leo, if you had ever stolen a kiss from someone, how would you give it back?”

This entire script is wonderful, but there is absolutely no better line than this one. This is one of the last lines of the film, and Gabriel asks it after he has finished casually providing information about his crush until Leonardo picks up on the fact that Gabriel is talking about him. 

Score 

10/10.

God, truly, I feel like maybe I’m too lenient on these films, because I don’t think I’ve scored anything below a 9 yet. But it’s not my fault that I am thoroughly enjoying my time.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for inadvertently causing a dispute in my family over a plushie?

I(18F) was awoken by the sound of my door opening. (it has no lock but it's pretty heavy. Very audible to hear throughout the house.) It was my two stepbrothers.(not specifying ages but not even preteens.)

They came looking for a plushie the oldest had left behind. I was confused when I woke up but caught on quickly to the situation. What confused me was the oldest had left for a time to visit family, and before he'd left, to my memory he'd given it to my sister. (late twenties F)

But I had assumed that he'd probably wanted it back so no big deal, my sister hadn't taken it as cold as that sounds, as it was in not great shape. I was sure once they saw it wasn't here they'd go away. However a problem arose. I share a room with my sister. who I'll call DeeDee.

DeeDee had recently gotten a similar plushie given to her by her boyfriend. And once they pointed to the plushie I saw the problem.

I told the kids this, and because I myself was unsure if it could be hers or theirs as last I remember my sister telling me she had left it at her partners, I told them to discuss it with my sister. Then stepmom comes in.

Stepmom had asked what I needed to discuss and what was going on. I told her about the plushies. She said she'd take it then, as she knew how my sister is. I was a bit peeved at her implication that my sister would take her son's old plushie. Especially as none of us have ever taken any of their stuff but I can count a handful of times my stepbrothers have.

However she's a bit protective when it comes to her kids being wrong, so I explained that it may be my sister's, and that even if it really was the old one, to my memory he had given it to her. He protested at this and called me a liar. She pointed out that the plushie was dirty, possibly proving it was her son's, but given my sister's track record of tidiness she has plenty of dirty plushies. She then said for now she'd take it and if it really was hers she'd return it and that this didn't need to be a big deal. I agreed. (She then said some other stuff but unrelated.) And soon she left.

Of course as there's a chance it is my sister's as I am still unsure, I called my sister to let her know, and that if it was her's to talk to our stepmom to return it. (Why they didn't wait for my sister to get out of the hospital confused me, but my stepmom has a record of being stubborn.) And this is where I can admit I am at fault for not waiting to tell her.

This led to a big dispute. My sister is very rash and impulsive. She has a record of overthinking. She and my stepmom are on rocky terms. I am as well, but less so.

She is now very, rightfully furious at my stepmom for grabbing her things without her permission. Even if I am still unsure of who it belongs to, I agree that wasn't the right thing to do. Where I disagree is that my sister threatened to take legal action against my stepmom and possibly deport her. She then hung up.

I texted her to think about this calmly so it didn't cause another big dispute. (My sister has always been the black sheep for her illness and how she copes with it.) Knowing if she blew up they'd believe her less and instead use this against her.

After a while she didn't respond so we left it at that. I did decide to inform my dad as impartially as I could that a possible argument could arise soon with my stepmom and sister. However he simply said he'd look into it unbiased and brushed me off. I accepted it as he was busy and I don't really know what I wanted him to do.

Then after awhile my sister texted more furious than she last seemed so I assume something went down with my step mom, that if she passed (a very likely scenario as we've had many close calls) she didn't want my father to see her and pointed the reason to our stepmom. (Albeit a lot more bluntly).

So am I the asshole?

What are these acronyms?