#but then it got longer and I had to go back and change it 🙃

[vanmarkus]

Wip Wednesday 🎄

I was tagged by the ever so lovely @daffi-990 @thewolvesof1998 @jamespearce9-1-1 @hippolotamus @exhuastedpigeon and @rainbow-nerdss mwuah 💛

Welp a little later than usual but here I am! And uh apparently I added another Christmas fic to the pile because why not lmao but it's just a real short one and I'm aiming for it to be posted this week. 🫡

He was just about to decide what kind of disgustingly greasy takeout food to order, when the door clicked open behind his back.

He turned to see— Eddie. Because of course it was Eddie.

“Hey,” he said gently, shutting the door behind himself and Buck knew it was a little irrational right now, but it still warmed his heart that Eddie came and went like this; that he knew no matter what, he was always welcome here.

“Hi.” Buck gave him a weak smile over the brim of his beer bottle, unsure of what to expect.

“I just wanted to see if you were okay.”

“Why, did uh did I not seem okay?” Buck scoffed, just falling short of casual.

Eddie averted his gaze almost guiltily before pinning Buck with a knowing look. “No.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s fair.” Buck took a long swig of his beer with a grimace.

“You know it doesn’t change anything, right?”

“Uh no, Eddie, I really don’t know that.” Buck drawled and put the bottle down on the counter top with a loud clink.

“Bu—”

“Eddie, you’re leaving the 118. That- that literally changes everything!” He spread his arms widely, as if he could indicate just how much of that everything covered.

✨no pressure tagging: @malewifediaz @spagheddiediaz @jeeyuns @ladydorian05 @disasterbuckdiaz @jesuisici33 @steadfastsaturnsrings @eowon @heartshapedvows @nmcggg @watchyourbuck @eddiebabygirldiaz @theotherbuckley @fortheloveofbuddie

[at1nys-blog]

A change of heart

Pairing: Kakashi Hatake x Naruto mother figure!reader

Summary: Naruto has left to train with Jiraya and you are left to wonder if he is doing okay.

A/N: let me get this out of my system thanks a lot don’t know if is going to kill my writer’s block but I see what happens with the asks I have in my draft. I have no idea what this is, if is bad please pretend nothing was written🙃. This is the longer ff I have wrote and is just crazy to me lol @charming-cherry0 here the Kakashi’s ff I’ve talked about hope you like it

You gave up a life filled with missions; a life of notority for the love you had-and still have to this day-for the people that took you in and raised you when your family died. You had promised to Minato and Kushina that you would take care of their son if anything happened to them. You didn't expect to fill in the role of a mother this soon.

When they sacrified themselves for the security of Konoha you were initially mad at them, leaving you just like your biological family did. Of course it wasn't their plan to die this young, not when they just became partens for the second time. You had to live with the fact that you had a job do to, to take care of your little brother Naruto.

Time passed, Naruto grew up and you couldn't help but being reminded about that night. Mostly because the villagers would always bring it up when walking past you and the Jinchūriki, making the young ninja ask questions, and you had to tell him white lies about it, the Third Hokage had made everyone promise to never reveal the true identity of his parents.

It broke your heart to lie to him, keeping him in the shadows of his lineage, but you knew that if words spread he was the son of the famous Minato Namikaze, the Fourth Hokage of the Leaf Village, he was going to be in more danger than he already was for having a tailed beast sealed into him.

It broke your heart when Naruto would come home faking a smile. You noticed he had been secretly crying, his puffy red eyes giving away his secret, but you never commented on them, instead you made sure to remind him that there were more important metters than caring about what people had to say about it. It always brought a sincere smile on his beautiful features.

With time, his pranks and shenanigans never stopped, and so your profusely apologizes to the villagers, who only rolled their eyes to you and whispered under their breath what a terrible guardian you were to the kid. "If he doesn't know how to behave is because he is not getting a proper education" they always said and you had to control yourself and not yelling at them that you were doing your best as a young girl yourself. Sometimes Naruto would hear the adults making fun of you, and this was one of the reasons why he would be mean to them, throwing ramen leftovers on their face or sticking out his foot to make them trip.

"Naruto, what happened? Why would do that to them?" you would ask him once in confinement of your apartament, away from prying eyes and ears. He would only say that he felt like it, or that they had been making fun of him. He didn't want to make you doubt your skills as a parental figure, not when he too knew he wasn't an easy kid to take care of. You would scoff and tell him to got to his room and do some homeworks while you would make dinner.

With time, things started to get better. Naruto had came to you one day revealing that he was determined to befriend Sasuke Uchiha, at the mention of the clan that got massacred your mind went back to when you had met the boy's mother before the tragedies that took place at the village and you smiled at him. Assuring him that one day, the two of them would the best of friends, you didn't know that was taking them a long time to get there.

It was when Naruto failed the gennin exam that you felt like a failure, if he didn't came to you for help it had to be because you weren't doing a good job of reassuring the boy he could rely on you, but oh how wrong you were. Naruto loved you dearly, and was grateful to have you in his life so he couldn't let you down, he had to make you proud of him and he thought that coming to you for help was a sign of weakness for him and he didn't want to show you he was weak.

You cried, for the first time in front of him, that night after he had told you all of that. Hugging like your lives depended on that you assured him that it was okay to show weakness, for him he was just a kid. From that night he never kept sectres from you, well maybe just the fact that he knew that people still belittled you by doing a poor job raising him.

You never, in your life, were jealous of people but since Kakashi Hatake became the sensei assigned to Naruto's team you discovered a new emotion: jealousy.

You had heard about the shinobi in question, how could you not? He was famous because of his father and for his talents. While at the academy you never interacted much with him and he kept a distance from you too, the two of you had nothing in common but the fact that your adoptive father was his teacher, that was it. Nothing less, nothing more. One single person in common wasn't a reason strong enough to bring the two of you to talk to each other for more than five minutes. But now? How much you wished to be able to take off your ears, because honestly? You couldn't stand another day hearing about the man.

Naruto was smittered with him, sure Kakashi sometimes was harsh with him but he was a great teacher. He couldn't stop talking about him, not only that but the constant talk of the town on how lucky Naruto was to have such a mature and responsible teacher made all your hard work seem trivial. The villagers kept on belittling you by putting on a pedestal Kakashi Hatake, the gem of the Leaf Village.

It had been a week since Naruto left Konoha alongside Jiraya, a week without a single word from him informing you about his days with the legendary ninja and his training sessions, a week worrying about the boy. Was he eating enough? Was he resting enough? Is he spending his money wisely or is he spending it for useless things? You couldn't stop thinking about how he was doing away from you.

"Earth's calling Y/N." you heard the voice of Kakashi from the other side of the window of the shop. You rolled your eyes upon seeing him laying hands on the windowsill with his book on sight. You turn around, asking him what he needed in such a late hour at your store. "saw the light was on and decided to see if you needed anything"

"Nothing if it's coming from you." you simply said walking towards the register to collect your things before heading back home. You didn't hear him jump into the store, his movements always quiet as if he is always on a mission of some sorts, you didn't even hear him closing the window, only when you turned to leave the store you noticed what he has been doing. "you need anything?" you mocked him, your words harsh because why was he so suddenly paying you a visit after closing hour?

"I don't need anything. Again I saw the li-" you cut him off, taking out the keys you unlocked the door and invited him outside. He didn't say anything, just followed your silent instructions and waited next to you to lock the door again. "heading home?"

"What do you think?" his presence was annoying you, you didn't want to be seen with him walking around the village, who knew what terrible things people would say if they saw you with such loved shinobi like him. "Hatake you don't have to walk me home, I still remember how to protect myself" it was true, all those year of combat training were still present in your muscle memory so you could have managed just fine if something were to happen to you. He didn't care, keeping you company on your way home.

"I just want to catch up with an old friend, is that wrong?" you halted at his words? Friends? Since when did he consider you a friend? The last time you checked the two of you even spoke was during the attack of the Nine tailed fox on the village, and just because you had to inform him about a change in the original plans.

He noticed your absence a couple of seconds later, turning around he asked you what happened that got you to stop in your tracks.

"I'm sorry, since when are we friends?" Kakashi was about to answer but you didn't give him the chance to add anything. "Listen, just because you are Naruto's teacher does not mean you and me are friends. And before I say anything that I will regret later please go home. I don't need to be reminded that I am a pathetic excuse of a mother." you whispered the last part, you didn't need him to know how you felt.

Kakashi heard you, loud and clear. He knew you were critisized by the villagers. He came across a couple of people that would praise him by belittling you, the ninja had always took your side, defending you against the mean words spoke behind your back. He didn't fight you, he didn't comment on your sentence, he was sure whatever he said wasn't going to make you feel better.

That night you cried, alone in the apartament you shared with Naruto and that was going to feel cold until he was back from his training. You knew that those three years without him were going to be long.

The next morning you woke up tired, giving a quick look at the pillow you could tell you cried yourself to sleep. The sight in the bathroom's mirror could confirm your theory, not that it was that hard to come to the conclusion of that, after what happened last night it was either that or you had spilled some water on it. The latter being the last possible.

Once you were finally ready to go and open the doors of your shop, you were faced with a toad at your doorstep, you can tell is one of Jiraya's because the animal is too big to be a common one. Is only when you took a second look that you noticed it had an envelope between its hands, you asked permission to take it from the animal and when the envolope was in yours the toad disappeared. You smiled reading the name of Naruto on the paper. Today was going to be great.

Dear Y/N,

sorry if I haven't written to you sooner but this week my days were filled with learning new techniques with the Ero-sennin that I totally forgot to inform you about my days. You don't have to worry about me, the Toad Sage reminds me to not overwork myself. I am eating a lot of good and tasy food. My sleeping schedule is not the best but I always remember your words about how important a good sleep is to become stronger.

I miss you very much, take care of the shop and eat a lot of ramen for me too.

Love you, Naruto.

The letter finished with his signature thumb print and a smiley face next to it, you smiled thanking that he remembered you while away for training.

The door of the shop opened, and you looked up from the letter to invite in your first client of the day but upon seeing Kakashi you rolled your eyes annoyed by his presence already.

"I don't think rolling your eyes is a good way to make your costumers feel welcomed" he commented.

"Why are you here?" you asked walking in front of the your desk. "and don't you dare to say that you just want to have a talk with a friend because I'm pretty sure I made it clear yesterday that we aren't friends." your tone was calm but the point came across to the shinobi, you didn't want to have him around.

"I'm here in peace. I want to look for something to buy, that's all." he said, intertwining his hands behind the back of his head he started walking around the store.

"You do realize this is a store that has nothing for you, right?" your shop was filled with clothes and accessories for the female villagers, nothing that Kakashi could wear or use even if he wanted to. The sizes were too small for him and you could swear he is not the type to take a bag with him. You pictured him with a couple of hairpins but only in the secrecy of his apartament, never outside. You scoffed at the imagine of him securing his white hair with pretty pins.

"I never said it was for me. I said I'm looking for something to buy." he repeated, deciding to not ask you why were you scoffing so out of the blue. "Asuma wants to surprise Kurenai and I offered to help him find something that she might like" you were taken aback, you never imagined him to be someone that would offer his help to look for gifts. "oh by the way, do you know if Naruto is okay? That ungrateful kid didn't write me a letter yet." you totally missed the little smile that formed on his face, both because you were facing his back and because of the mask he never takes off his face.

"I, actually, got a letter from him this morning." you said happy that Naruto wrote to you first than Kakashi, even though he had wrote at the two of you simultaneously, but what you didn't know couldn't hurt you, right? and Kakashi kept that information for himself when he heard your teasing tone. He didn't want to ruin your day, not after what you had said yesterday.

"That kid, forgetting about his teacher like I mean nothing to him." he commented looking at some hair clips with a charm at the end, he took a couple of them and came to you asking for which one you prefered. You choose the wooden one with the red details reminding him that most of Kurenai's outfits involved the color red. He thanked you and paid for the object.

"You mean a lot to Naruto, more than I like to admit honestly." you told him before he could leave the store. "Thank you for everything you do and for taking care of him when I can't" you confessed. He only smiled at you, wishing you a good day and promising that he wasn't going to bother you for the rest of the day.

Months passed and once a week you would get a visit from one of Jiraya's toads delivering at your doorsteps a letter from Naruto informing you about his days with the Toads Sage and how much he is improving his ninja's skills and you, oh so wished to write to him how proud you were, but his safety came first and if you wrote to him the Akatsuki would probably find him, risking to get kidnapped. You just made a note to yourself to tell him that, the moment he was back to Konoha.

Naruto’s letters weren’t the only thing keeping you company and making you smile, Kakashi was another reason why your days weren’t too boring. He would come to your shop, pretending to look around and then waiting for you to close up so he could walk you home, asking about your day, asking what Naruto had told you in his letter that week, talking about his missions (if he was allowed) and about Guy. The stories about his friend were the one you anticipated the most if you had to be honest.

When he started to hang around more, you were annoyed at him, mostly because you knew people would talk behind your back, making comments questioning why Kakashi Hatake, one of the most renowned shinobi of the village was friend with someone like you. Someone that failed both as a shinobi and as a parental figure. Their words were just speculations, you knew that, everything was far away from the truth but they still hurt you.

"She was a great shinobi and gave up all of it just because of a kid." you heard someone commenting while walking past Ramen Ichiraku, his friend scoffed saying that if you gave up so easily to take care of Naruto it was because you weren't that good as a ninja to start with.

"She failed as a ninja and as a mother. If Naruto thinks he can do whatever he wants is all her fault." he added half drunk. You had to stop in your tracks, not because you wanted to know how the conversation would move on, you didn't care much, but you had to take a deep breath before breaking down in the middle of the street. The day didn’t start in the best way and it was going to end even worse if you were to show yourself weak in front of others.

"She was the only one that could keep up with me." you recognized the voice, how could you not? It was Kakashi. "and she could kick your asses if she only wanted." he stopped, you thought to eat some more portion of ramen or to drink some water. "She did her best considering her young age and the fact that everyone was against her. Leave her alone already, she went through so much and doesn't need such remarks from people that don't even know her." The other two ninjas didn’t talk back, and you headed back home assuming they dropped the conversation there. Nothing else to add after Kakashi called them out.

Walking down memory lane that night you rememberer how during your days at the academy you thought you didn’t like Kakashi, but with time you realized you hated him. Growing up you matured and came to the conclusion that hate was such a strong emotion to feel for someone that you had nothing to do with, it was jealousy, not hatred. It could never be hatred. Now, at the doorsteps of your thirties you had to admit you were envious of him.

You envied Kakashi because he was naturally talented; you envied him because every kid always talked about him; you envied him because he was liked by all the people of Konoha; you envied him because he was everything that you could have been if life didn’t throw you a tragedy after another. You went to sleep with Kakashi’s words still in your mind and with apologizing to Kakashi on your to-do list.

That morning was rather...calm, the sky being grey didn't allow the birds to fly away from their nests and you imagined today was going to be pretty slow since people didn't like to go out with such a weather.

Opening the door of your house you bumped into Kakashi, standing there with a Bangasa* umbrella in hand.

“What are you doing here?” You asked visibly, and rightly so, confused at his presence in front of your door.

“Walking you to work? I need to be gone for a mission after lunch so I thought that maybe I could spend some time with you before leaving. If you are fine with it, of course.” You were fine with the idea of him walking you to work but the fact that he was leaving for a mission wasn’t in your plans. You decided to wait when he was back to talk to him, you didn’t want to distract him while on a mission. “So…”

“Sorry. I’m… that’s okay and really, you don’t have to spend time with me.” You said locking your door.

“But I want to. And you know, we can’t tell if I’m coming back to Konoha in one piece.” He teased but you took it seriously, knowing that you had a conversation planned with him.

“You better come back in one piece I… I have something I would like to discuss with you.” Kakashi was curious and asking to explain further your words, you repeated that it had to wait when he was done with the mission. “I just don’t wanna distract you.”

“You would never distract me. Come on, tell me.” Giving in sounded so easy and it was. The apology rolling out your mouth in a second. “And it had to wait for the mission to be over because…” you didn’t know, it was stupid considering you just had to apologize to him. Maybe you thought he was going to add more than a simple ‘thank you’, what exactly were you expecting was a mystery to you too. “Don’t worry, you don’t have to tell me.” He added before you could express your reasoning, if there were any.

As he said he spent half the day at your shop, in the corner he made himself with time. He was quiet, reading his book and not exchanging words with the women that wanted to talk to him. They didn’t exist to him.

At lunch he stood up from his chair (yours but you never used it so he decided to claim it as his) and took out of the pocket of his vest a small white stone, you recognized it, it was an opal.

“I read it is good for protection. Never go out without it until I’m back.” You smiled at him and thanked him. “Or… don’t I don’t know. I was told… I thought you would like it.”

“I love it. Just, make sure to be back safe and sound. I don’t want to plan your funeral, I still don’t like you.” You joked. He smiled under the mask, his visible eye squinting a little bit.

“Don’t worry, Guy has everything planned for my funeral already.” He joked “see you when I’m back.” He added before leaving the shop. You watched him walk out when one of your costumers nudged at you.

“He is a good catch, confess already.” You blushed at her words and made sure she understood that you felt nothing more than admiration towards the ninja. “Whatever makes you sleep at night.” She said before paying for the necklace she had chosen.

The mission took longer than what you expected, and since your apologizes to Kakashi you bumped into his friends more than usual (Guy drunk told you he asked them to keep you company when possible) but you didn’t mind their presence. Since Naruto left you realized he was your only friend.

Kurenai was a sweet woman, always making sure you were doing fine and making sure if you had eaten enough for the day; Asuma was quiet, mostly sticking around Kurenai and promising you he would quit smoking (he never did); Guy was the funniest of the trio, telling you stories about when he and Kakashi were younger and even if you knew some of them already you let him talk.

Waking up, you looked at the calendar on your little desk, the day circled in orange was a reminder of the anniversary of the death of Minato and Kushina. It was the first time you went to their grave all by yourself and thinking about it you didn’t want to go anymore. Maybe staying all day home wasn’t a bad idea after all.

You wished Kakashi didn’t get his friends to be on your neck 24/7 because the second you laid down in bed you noticed the three ninjas outside your bedroom window.

“Why are you guys here?” You asked looking at them.

“Because we don’t want you to rot in your bed today.” Answered Guy “get off bed and get ready” he added.

“Ready for what?”

“We have a little surprise for you.” Asuma was the one answering your question. “Come on.” You sighed rolling your eyes before leaving the bed once again. “Good choice.”

Getting ready with your mind elsewhere wasn’t easy but you wouldn’t dare make the three ninjas outside your house tell you, once again, to move already.

Stepping out your apartment you wanted to go back in, whose idea was to blindfold you? And, most importantly, why would they blindfold you? Kurenai assured you it was her idea, you doubted that but there wasn’t time to fight if she was lying or not, and that you had to trust them.

Is not like you didn’t trust them but the fact that they just decided to take you out and blindfold you wasn’t helping at all. You decided to follow their instructions, without complaining.

The spot was a special one for you, not because it was anything secluded (if it was your friends couldn’t be able to find it) but because it was where Minato, Kushina and you liked to spend time together. It was your little piece of Heaven on Earth until…

“You didn’t had to” you told them, because they really didn’t had to prepare a picnic for you.

“We wanted to” replayed Kurenai “and besides what a best way to remember them than spending some time at their favorite secret place” she added up, smile on her face.

“If the dishes are not of your taste blame it on Kakashi, he suggested those” explained Guy

“Pretty sure he remembers his sensei’s favorite foods so I’m not even surprised.” You were, because those were mostly your favorite dishes (also some of Minato and Kushina’s).

The four of you started eating and in the mean time ended up talking about the Fourth Hogake and his wife, the three ninjas asking you about how the two deceased shinobi were in the privacy of their house and you laughed at the memories.

“Okay, okay let me just…” you cleared your throat and took a sip of sake before speaking again. “…I would tell you curious cats all about my lovely parents that died to save the village that hates me” everyone laughed at your tipsy words.

Standing up you try to stay as in equilibrium as possible before speaking again. And you started from the beginning, from when Kushina found you crying your eyes out over your parents’ dead bodies. She comforted you, telling you everything was going to be okay, and she took you with her, there is when you met Minato and Jiraya for the first time.

You told them how Minato was a lovely fiancée to Kushina and how he was always helping around the house without a sense of shame whatsoever, you admired him for that wishing for yourself a man that could help around the house without complaining that he shouldn’t do such things since ‘he is a man’

“That sounds like Kakashi if I have to be honest” cut you off Asuma and you laughed it off, maybe he was right but you and Kakashi? Engaged? No thank you. Talking about them some more you arrived at the day they sacrificed themselves and your happy smile dissolved from your features, leaving space to a more serious expression.

“No one knows, not even Kakashi I guess but I need to be honest about it. I hated them for quite a bit. They promised me to never leave me alone. That they would never do like my biological parents did and yet… but they didn’t leave me alone, no sir. They put the responsibility of raising a child on my shoulders and I was only 15 years old. I hated it, I couldn’t look at Naruto without thinking about them and for a couple of months I didn’t take care of him like I promised. Then one day I saw Kakashi…” another sip of sake “…and he looked like nothing was bothering him, he had moved on faster compared to me, he made it seems so easy and I hated him for that. I hated how fast he had moved on, I hated him so much that I felt like I had to prove a point. I still don’t know what the point was supposed to be, but I think it helped me come to my senses and do what I was supposed to do for the past three months.”

Asuma, Kurenai and Guy were left speechless at your words and you mentally thanked them for keeping their judgmental thoughts for themselves. Because if they spoke their minds you would have hated it.

You spent the whole day eating and training with the three shinobi and you are happy to be able to get back to the old days when you would train with them when you weren’t yet stripped of your position as a ninja of the Leaf Village.

You are a little rusty, I mean after 17 years of working in a jewelry shop everyone would be, but you managed to take down Guy and Asuma a couple of times. It was after the sun set that your friends decided it was time to go home and after your thank yous they left you alone with your thoughts.

You stayed some more, looking at the horizon with one thing in mind: Kakashi Hatake. You wished he was there with you, he was the only one, after you, to have spent the majority of his time alongside Minato. Rin was dead, to keep the village safe, Obito died to save Kakashi and he was away for a mission that would take his life away if he wasn’t careful enough.

Walking up the stairs you didn’t notice the “bread crumbs” left on the steps, only when you reached the top and see Kakashi in front of your door that you notice he is holding something in his hands.

You look back noticing the petals of Kushina’s favorite flower. Your eyes tear up at the memory and the fact that you didn’t allowed yourself to look at those flowers ever again.

“Surprise.” He said and when you turn around to face him his small smile disappeared and his expression turned worried. You don’t have the time to fall on your knees that he is holding your shaking body into his. Your cries filling the silent night. “Is okay, I’m here now.” And you keep crying holding into him for dear life.

It took you a couple of minutes to stop crying and even then you kept on sobbing every now and then. Kakashi took off his fingerless gloves and started wiping away the tears on your face.

“I miss them” you said hiccuping your words to him. He doesn’t say much, just that he understands the pain in your heart because he misses them too. “Please don’t you leave me too” his heart aches at your words and he keeps on drying up your face assuring you that he wasn’t going anywhere without you.

He helps you up and walks you to the door and you wished you were able to function but no. With shaky hands you dropped the keys on the floor but he is there, helping you in every way possible without judgement.

Entering he made you sit down at the dinner table and while you tried your best to recollect yourself he filled up a glass of water.

“Drink up everything you are drained” he commented and you listened to him (mostly because you were truly thirsty) and chunked the whole glass down. It was refreshing you though. “Sorry if I made you cry, it wasn’t my intention”

“It wasn’t your fault. I think it was the build up pain.” You didn’t mean to tell him about it but you did regardless. Telling him how you never properly mourned their death because first you hated them for leaving you and then you had a child to take care of and you couldn’t dwell in your pain.

“I hated Minato for a while too.” He confessed and you were speechless at the confession. You always thought he had moved on pretty fast after what he had been through, you imagined he was used to people leaving him behind. You were so wrong about all of it and you felt guilty you felt like crying again. But you didn’t, you couldn’t because Kakashi told you to get ready for bed. “If you need me here I can sleep over.”

You find yourself almost using the L word in that moment, if it was out of friendship love or romantic you didn’t know. You knew you were grateful for him in that moment. You tell him he could sleep in Naruto’s bed and he nods at your proposition. That night you had a good sleep, one you haven’t had in years and that you truly needed and you only had to thank Kakashi Hatake for that.

It was during dead time that you heard Konohamaru screaming from the top of his lungs that Naruto "big brother" was back from his three years training. You rushed outside, locking the shop as fast possible. Running behind the Third Hokage's grandchild on your way to see Naruto you almost bumped into Kakashi.

"where are you running to?" he asked, following behind you.

"Naruto is back" Konohamaru and you said in unison, Kakashi speeding up and catching up with the two of you. He wanted to meet his student because he too have been missing him lots during those three years.

Kakashi stayed behind, never passing by you. The shinobi wanted for you to be the first one to see Naruto, considering the relationship that binds the two of you and for the fact that the young ninja didn't write that week (Kakashi hopes that Naruto did it on purpose but he imagines the kid just genuinely forgot), and you did, between the three of you, you spot him first. He was talking with Sakura, the girl was mad at him for something you didn't even care to find out. It was when the kid you raised as your own spotted you that he ran to you. He hugged you, hands around your middle and lifted you making you squeal out of surprise.

"why didn't you wrote me you were coming at the village?" you said once he put you down. "I was going to think something had happen to you" he scratched the back of his head giving you a nervous smile. Before he could apologize properly Konohamaru was all over him asking him questions about the time he was away and reminding him about the promise the older ninja made before leaving (a stupid challenge about who performs better the Sexy Jutsu Naruto invented). You noticed Sakura rolling his eyes, Moegi doing the same.

You felt Kakashi lightly hugging you from the side, and you didn't mind the presence of the ninja, not when you apologized for your shitty behaviour. Since that day your relationship with Kakashi got better day after day to the point where you started having feelings for the man, romanic ones to be pricise.

"what is happening between the two of you?" he asked, looking confused to why you weren't at Kakashi's throat for being this close to your figure. "are you fucking my mom?" you were able to feel hear Kakashi stiffening at those words, who wouldn't when accused of such an intimate, and very personal, activity. "you know what? I don't actually want to know. Treat her right or I am coming for you, I know where you live" he threatened him and both you and Kakashi weren't able to say much back before he excused himself saying he had to report to Granda Tsunade frst thing first.

As you were left with Sakura, team Ebisu and Kakashi you cleared your throat ready to explain that the only thing that there was between Kakashi and you was pure frienship. Nothing more, nothing less.

"not to be that person..." started to speak Sakura "but I never, ever, saw Kakashi sensei interested in a woman like he is with you." she shrugged her shoulders when you gave her a death stare. "Just saying. By the way, gotta make sure Naruto doesn't get in trouble with the Hokage" you pinched the bridge of your nose, inhaling deep to keep calm. When you opened back your eyes you noticed the younger ninjas looking at you.

"You three better get to training before I rat you out to Ebisu Sensei" Konohamaru wasn't didn't care, you could tell, the smirk selling away his thoughts on the entire situation.

"Kids those days, always telling lies" you tried your best to light up the mood but Kakashi's espression told you you were failing. "you don't... you don't think so?"

"totally, yeah. Kids teasing their teacher like there is no tomorrow." he said, heading back to his apartment avoiding any type of contact with you. You follow behind him, your shop being in the same direction as his house.

"I'm sorry for Naruto. I will make sure he apologizes to you as soon as possible." he doesn't answer, keeping his pace slow so you were able to keep up with him. "I would suggest he pays for whatever you would like, you know, as a little revenge" he chuckled a little and you were happy that he finally was able to let Naruto's words bahind him.

Kakashi kept you company at the shop, helping some costumers that mostly wanted to engage in a conversation with him. Mostly to ask him if he was single and what type of girls he liked, he nervously laghed at them trying his best to change the topic.

Looking at the interaction you couldn't help but smile at it. The way he softly smiled at those ladies trying to set him up. The way he would try and subtly change the subject. The way he would walk them out with gentle hands.

He scoffed, walking to the cash register he takes his head between his hands complaining about the ladies of the village doing whatever they were trying to achieve.

"I mean, you are old and never been seen with a partner of any sorts. You spend all your time with your students or out for missions." you tell him, pushing his elbows away from the desk. "they like you and they want to see you settled down. That's it" Kakashi and you were discussing about the fact that he doesn’t want to settle down with the first woman people would set him up with, he wants to meet someone and grew with them, embrancing their qualities but also their flaws and he does tell you that. Soft boy, was your first thought at his words.

The bell at the top of the door rang and shifting your gaze to the entrance you saw Naruto with his signature smile on display.

"Ehy mom, I came to tell you that I need to go first thing in the morning for a mission."

"So soon? But you just..." looking how his joyful look turned into a more serious one you knew it was about Sasuke, it had to be about him. "I get it. Do you at least have the time to eat with me before you leave?" he nodded and you told him, and Kakashi to wait for you outside so you could finish cleaning before closing the shop.

Walking to Ichiraku Naruto revealed some new details that he couldn't share before about his days with the Ero-Sennin and you had a good laugh with him. Kakashi didn't intrude much, for what reason you couldn't tell, but it didn't care at the moment becuase you were back with your favourite boy.

Teuchi welcomed the three of you and so did his daughter, a little smirk forming on his face at the sight of Kakashi.

"Introducing the boyfriend to the family?" she said earning a little spank on her back from her father.

"He is not my boyfriend Ayame, how many times do I have to tell you?" you complied at her statement.

"But you wished he was?" said the younger ones, you turned to Naruto looking at him in confusion, what gave him such an idea? "I mean I come back and you haven't yelled at him once."

"This doesn't mean I want him to be my boyfriend but just that me and Kakashi talked out our.."

"yours" he interjected and you rolled your eyes at him.

"Yeah, my problems..." you said looking at Kakashi "...we became friends with time. Nothing wrong with it" you said and then asked Teuchi for three ramens.

While Teuchi and Anyame prepare your food Naruto was curios to know how it happened, he clearly remembered you saying that there was no way you would change your mind on Kakashi, and here you were, sharing some ramen with the person you were supposed to hate the most in this world.

You told him about how everything changed between his sensei and you when you apologize to him and that you find out a different side of him when he helped you during your breakdown. Since then you did everything together, let it be a little stroll around Konoha or having lunch during your breaks at the shop.

“With time I started liking him.” You said “oh thank you for the food.” You take a spoonful of it and complimented Teuchi. “You see, with time you can understand who truly cares for you.” That was a little jab at Naruto because you never liked Sakura for him. Sure they were good friends now, but the way she treated him at the beginning ot their training times? It wasn’t what you had expected from a team mate.

“Don’t get all philosophical on the kid already.” Commented Kakashi. You gave him a side eye. “Sorry but he just arrived after three years with Jiraya what do you think he will understand if you use big words to him?”

“I’m not stupid”

“He is not stupid” Kakashi turned around when he heard Teuchi and Ayame defending Naruto as well. “The kid just ignores some things.” Carried on the owner of the ramen shop. “I mean a LOT of things but is not his problem. He took after his mother.” You laughed, remembering Kushina being just like him when you first met her. She calmed down a little bit, still being her silly self, now that you were under her care.

Naruto finally dropped the previous conversation, more interested in knowing more about his mother now that the man mentioned her. Sure you had talked to him about his parents but you didn’t know much about them before you became part of their family so while he is intrigued about stories of his young parents from Teuchi you kept an eye on him, smiling at his shiny eyes at the stories he is told.

Once you were done eating Kakashi payed for the three of us and you thanked him for the gesture. Naruto complained, if he knew his sensei would have been the one paying he would have got a second portion to take home for you just to rise the bill a little bit and annoy his sensei.

“You want us to walk you at the gates?” You asked making sure you weren’t too much of a burden for him since he had to be at the gates before sun rise. He “uhmed” in response and you are quite happy that you can spend some more time with him.

“I wouldn’t be too mad at Kakashi if he tried something.” Naruto spoke when he was able to see the gates of Konoha. You and Kakashi stopped in your tracks both looking at him with wide eyes. “I want you to be happy and if he makes you happy I’m okay.” He kissed you goodbye before sprinting away where his friends and team mates for the Sasuke rescue team were waiting for him.

You were left alone with Kakashi next to you, with nothing to say due to Naruto’s confession. What were you supposed to say? What were you supposed to do? You wished Kurenai was there to give you some advice on it but she wasn’t. And even if she was she wouldn’t be much of help because she would be too occupied teasing you.

“So… do I make you happy? Because you sure make me happy.” Kakashi cut the silence and you wished he didn’t, not like that at least.

“You annoy me, that’s different.” You rolled your eyes at him and started walking towards your apartment. It took him some minutes to realize your words and when he does, he runs behind you catching up with you almost immediately him and his stupid long legs.

“Ehy, what do you mean I annoy you? You said you started to like me.”

“Again, it doesn’t mean you don’t annoy me sometimes.” You keep teasing him and he missed the way you smiled at him. And you miss the way he does the same.

It was in front of your porch that he cups your face and looked deep into your eyes before asking permission to kiss you and you gave him the green light to do so. The kiss is gentle, and short lived but you didn’t care. You invite him inside and this time you let him sleep in your bed.

[misshoneyimhome]

But with three of us, honey, it's a sideshow I William Nylander & Matthew Knies - Part one

Summary; A quote by Hector Urquhart goes "One man's rubbish may be another's treasure" - however, what happens, when the first man realises that it wasn't rubbish after all?

Other notes: Hey there, babes! So, this idea sparked from the Woll x Knies threesome request, and I couldn't resist working more with the sweetest freshman 😉 Before we dive in, I want to give a quick shoutout to @couldawouldashoulda50 for being my co-pilot on this journey - Thanks for putting up with all my rambling 💓🙏🏼 Also, just a heads up, this will be posted in two (or maybe three) parts because it ended up being a bit longer than planned 🙃 So, without further delay, I hope you enjoy it!

Tropes & Warnings; William Nylander x Matthew Knies x reader, Friends to lovers; jealousy; 18+ smut; fingering, protected penetrative sex (p in v), mention of oral sex (f and m receiving);

Word count; 6K+

➼｡ﾟ

Your body felt numb, achy, and weak. Yet your mind was completely blissed out, soaring with ecstasy, and flooded with endorphins.

Breathing was difficult in the heavy air of the room, saturated with the scent of raw, passionate sex that hung in the air as the warmth between the two bodies flanking you enveloped you.

The memories of how you'd got here were hazy, yet there was no trace of regret. Your heart raced in your chest as tingles radiated through your core after the intense encounter. Yet, pure happiness surged through your veins, joy coursing through your bloodstream.

-

It was just before the season kicked off when you found yourself alone with William Nylander for the first time. During a night out in Toronto, the charming Swede caught your eye, and after a few minutes of exchanging glances, he finally made his way closer to you, effortlessly charming you with his dazzling blue eyes and cheeky smile.

You had moved to the city about a year ago, where your friendly and outgoing roommate had introduced you to some of her friends. Yet what she hadn't mentioned beforehand was that some of these friends happened to be players for the Toronto Maple Leafs.

You’d naturally tried to keep your cool and play the role of a casual friend whenever you were around the team and their social circles. And while you had gotten to know most of the guys on a friendly level, it never went beyond that.

That all changed on the night when you couldn't ignore the attraction you felt towards the Swedish hockey star. And when you shared a moment of connection amidst your mutual friends, you had a feeling that the night was going to be something special.

And you were right. William certainly made it a night to remember.

After a few more hours of chatting and occasional gentle touching, he edged in closer and whispered seductive words in your ear. His breath sent a shiver down your spine, and his words set off a tingling heat between your legs. There was simply no way you could resist him.

So, as soon as your roommate left with some random guy, quickly checking if you were okay to get home alone, you seized the opportunity to invite William back with you. To which he happily agreed.

Since both of you were mindful of the upcoming hockey schedule and the importance of staying in good shape, none of you had too much alcohol in the system, making you both aware of your actions.

And to say the sex was good would be an understatement. William took his time, starting with lots of kissing. His skilled mouth felt perfectly matched with yours, and as both of you became increasingly turned on and eager, he used his thick fingers to stimulate your core, stretching your entrance while circling your clit, ensuring you reached climax at least once.

Once you were wet and ready for him, he put on a condom and began slowly entering you in the missionary position. However, the tender, slow lovemaking didn't last long as the heat in your bedroom intensified. Both of you were too aroused to hold back, quickly transitioning to other positions.

First, you angled yourself on William's shoulder, allowing him to penetrate deeper and harder. Then, with both of your legs against his chest as he knelt back, he thrust into you vigorously.

At this point, your mind was already lost in a blissful haze as you gripped onto the pillowcase behind your head, and your muscles tightening around William's member. With each thrust, he stimulated your walls, bringing you closer and closer to orgasm.

And as he felt himself nearing climax as well, he released your legs, swiftly pulling out before using his strength to turn you onto your stomach. Lifting your buttocks slightly for better access, he entered you again, filling you up as he hit a different angle.

Your breaths were heavy, moans blending as his hips collided against your cheeks. Gripping the sheets beneath you, William's pounding drove you both over the edge into ecstasy, reaching climax simultaneously.

It had been uncomplicated yet deeply satisfying sex, far better than most first times with a new partner. It didn't feel rushed or impersonal; it was passionate and genuine, despite the absence of romance or deeper emotions. It was simply perfect. Your bodies had moved in sync, and both of you experienced profound pleasure.

However, after the wonderful one-night stand, William wanted to clarify that it was all it was to him – at least for now. While he knew he really liked you, he emphasised that this season he wouldn't have the time or energy to focus on dating. Instead, his priority would be his hockey career, so if the two of you were to continue anything, it would be limited to casual hook-ups and friendly get-togethers.

And, you didn't really have any objections. William was a good friend, someone you felt a connection with, and had shared interests with. Moreover, he was exceptionally attractive, and after just one encounter, feeling his body against yours, you couldn’t deny the temptation of doing it again. You’d slowly come to know him well, and despite the tiny hope of building something together, you also respected his desire to keep things non-romantic. So, you agreed on a casual friends-with-benefits arrangement whenever there was time for it.

And already following one of the first friendly matches before the start of the regular season, you shared your second night together. Which once again, was a night filled with multiple orgasms- and this time, you even got to experience William's oral skills, something you had never encountered in such an incredible way with anyone else before.

The creativity you both had with positions was simply fun and exciting. Yet while you alternated between being on top and taking the lead, William always remained the dominant character - except perhaps when you showcased your own oral talents.

In short, it was just a great causal relationship where you shared a profound connection. Both before and following the heated session, you shared laughter and smiles, before you made your way out of his condo. And to no one’s surprise, the two times then quickly turned into three times. And then four times over a few more weeks.

-

As the regular season gradually took shape, William's predictions about his limited free time outside the hockey rink proved accurate. Although you exchanged texts almost daily, sharing memes and Instagram posts, you reminded yourself that there was no deeper meaning to it. It was all just friendly banter and genuine laughter. Or well, perhaps there was a rather flirtatious sense of humour involved, as well as occasional sexual jokes and references.

And truth be told, you cherished the relationship you had with the Swede. Since he didn’t require much attention from your side, it gave you ample opportunity to get to know everyone else around the team better. So, you began spending more and more time with some of the girls, going out for brunches and having girls’ nights-in to watch the hockey matches, as well as frequenting the arena more often than before.

So, as weeks turned into months, you slowly grew closer to the other players. Whether it was dinners at the Marners’ or social gatherings with the team, you found yourself welcomed into the tightly knit circle. Something beyond what you had ever imagined your life would be like living in Toronto.

And among all the newly formed relationships, one stood out in particular. You weren’t entirely sure what sparked it, but as if out of nowhere, freshman Matthew Knies walked straight into your heart and stole it.

Perhaps it was the first time you were carrying too many iced coffees for the ladies and almost spilled them, if it hadn’t been for the young forward's help. Or maybe the connection began when he nearly ran you over near the training rink, his focus solely on navigating, oblivious to your presence.

But regardless, a connection quickly blossomed. What started as light laughter and sweet exchanges gradually evolved into coffee walks and exploring the hidden gems of the city, whenever he wanted to give the Tavares family some private time. As you knew what it was like to be new to the city, and since it wasn’t too long ago for you, you offered him company if he ever needed a break from hockey -to which he gladly accepted. And as you spent more and more hours together, you couldn’t help but feel something stirring within you.

You couldn’t quite pinpoint it, but one thing was certain: it felt good.

Similarly, Matthew was slowly developing some kind of feelings for you as well. As he had recently ended things with his ex-girlfriend due to the distance, he found a void in his heart that needed filling. And your sweet laughter, quirky jokes, and endless storytelling about anything and everything filled that void for him.

At first, it didn’t feel romantic or anything of the sort, especially since he wasn’t seeking a relationship; you were just two good friends enjoying each other's company. And despite the little age gap, he felt like an equal. You helped him move into his new flat, shared your best easy cooking tips, while he introduced you to playing NHL on PlayStation and played a few tunes on his guitar for you. It was a simple yet profound friendship.

And as the hockey season then unfolded with its highs and lows, the emotional roller-coaster began to influence your friendships. If he ever needed a tight hug or wanted to call you while on the road just to talk about something other than hockey, you were there for him.

So, as days passed, your time gradually involved more chats with Matthew Knies, while your friendship with William Nylander softly faded into the background.

You never officially ended things with William; he was simply preoccupied with training, so your communication was limited to social media. Meanwhile, your conversations with Matthew grew deeper and more personal. Gradually, he learned more about your family, career aspirations, and the reasons for your move to Toronto, while he talked about the ups and downs of his recent relationship with his ex-girlfriend and how much he missed home.

It wasn’t until Auston Matthews brought up your and William's previous encounters that it dawned on Matthew what he had happened before he’d entered the picture. Though William had become one of his best friends on the team, he had never mentioned anything about having had a relationship with you. But after a training session, when it was just the two Arizona players left in the locker room, Auston brought it to Matthew's attention.

"He's alright with it, you know," the elder hockey star started. "About you and y/n."

Matthew was a little confused. Why would William have anything against who he was friends with?

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"You know, because they had a thing going on – sleeping together and stuff like that," Auston explained, believing Matthew already knew, given his close friendships with both you and William.

"Oh... wait, what?" Matthew's eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"You didn't know?"

"Well, no... when did they..." Matthew's curiosity peaked.

"Oh, months ago, man... don’t worry about it, it was just before the season started, so..." Auston replied casually.

"Ah, cool... but," the younger teammate pondered whether to delve deeper. "Like, how many times? Did they go out or?"

"Just a few times, I think," Auston shrugged nonchalantly as he rose from his seat to pack his bag. "Hey, Willy's cool, and no, it’s not like they ever dated, so she's all free."

Yet, as Auston left the locker room, leaving Matthew to his own thoughts, he couldn't help but consider talking to William about it, just to be sure and not accidentally create tension with his good friend and one of the greatest players on the team.

And fortunately, the conversation with William went surprisingly smoothly.

"Of course, I don’t mind you hanging out with y/n," William simply chuckled. "I mean, sure, she's my friend and all, and yes, we slept together, but that's it, man."

"Alright, just wanted to make sure there's nothing more between you two," Matthew smiled back at his friend.

"Nah, she's amazing, I get why you want to be around her," William flashed a smile, his body language relaxed as he rested his hand on his hip, while he rubbed his beard with the other. "I mean, I just feel bad I haven't talked more with her myself, so I'm just happy she's got you, man."

Matthew felt a weight lift from his shoulders after his talk with William. While it wasn't entirely uncommon for players to have shared experiences with a girl or two occasionally, it had mostly been just for sex, and not across relationships, at least not to his knowledge.

However, what neither you nor Matthew knew was that William had been thinking a lot about your growing friendship. Initially, he found it sweet and nice that you were chatting with everyone on and around the team, giving him the space he'd said he needed to focus on his game.

But as you gradually stopped flirting with him, both in person and through messages, he started to feel the change sting a little. He knew he was the one who had said there couldn't be more between you than just sex, but when even that didn't happen, he felt as if you were slowly distancing yourself from him. And he was losing you both as a lover and a friend.

So, even though he acted cool and chill about the closeness between you and the freshman, he still couldn’t deny that it got to him. The connection he had shared with you felt almost unique, and he wasn’t ready to let it fade completely.

-

Months had passed since your first night with William, and life in Toronto was nothing short of amazing. You had a lovely group of friends, with most of your nights spent watching hockey matches alongside them, occasionally dining out with the team.

Everything seemed perfect, except for the fact that you still missed William deeply. Despite convincing yourself from the beginning that you never harboured any deeper feelings for him, you couldn’t deny the disappointment you felt when your relationship never progressed further or lasted. You simply couldn’t escape the significance of your connection with him and seeing him so often around the rink or when going out, made it clear that you needed to find a way to move on.

And fortunately, your relationship with Matthew helped ease the hurt you were feeling. He was an amazing guy, and to you it almost seemed crazy that his ex-girlfriend had let him go. He was sweet, caring, and surprisingly mature for his age. And you knew you were slowly developing feelings for him.

So, one Friday night, as you were out with some girlfriends not in the hockey group, you shared your troubles, hoping for advice from outsiders.

"If you want my opinion," Bethany spoke, holding her drink as you’d moved from dinner to cocktails. "What you need is closure. Tell this Will directly that you’re over him, cut him out, and then move on with that other guy, since you seem really into him."

You had tried to avoid giving too many details about who your relationships were with to your girlfriends, wary of any misunderstandings getting out to the media. Yet their input did have you thinking.

"I can’t just cut him out... I see him around all the time, he’s part of the group of friends, and..." you tried to explain. "I don’t know... I might still like him a little..." You finally admitted to yourself.

“Well, then I don’t see any other option,” Carol chimed in with a raised eyebrow. “You need to sleep with Matts. The best way to get over a guy is to sleep with another.”

The girls giggled and cheered at her remark, but despite trying to join in the mood, you couldn’t shake the knot in your stomach. You weren’t entirely sure if this was truly the way to go. Making a move on Matthew meant there would most likely be no going back to William. But if you let the memories of William, knowing he didn’t feel the same for you, hold you back from developing things with Matthew, you knew you’d regret it too.

So, torn between your feelings for the two men, you ordered another Espresso Martini followed by a Cosmopolitan.

You weren’t exactly tipsy or drunk, but you had just the right amount of liquid courage to steel yourself. And as you parted ways with the girls and made your way to the subway station, you pulled out your phone to find the name of the person you felt a need for calling.

However, as you stood there, hesitating over the 'call' button with your finger, a wave of unease washed over you. And upon glancing to your right, you spotted a group of men staring in your direction.

Initially, you tried to ignore them, but as they slowly edged closer, adrenaline started to course through you. And suddenly, one of them made lewd remarks, prompting you to press the screen.

"You tried to reach William Nylander. Please leave a message after the tone. *beep*"

With a frustrated sigh, you muttered, "Shit..."

The train finally arrived, and you pondered your next move. Since the men appeared to be waiting for the same train, you stopped yourself from entering and watched to see if they did. Breathing a sigh of relief when they did, you remained on the platform and decided to wait for the next one. However, just before the doors closed, two of them stepped back onto the platform.

And this time panic surged within you, so you swiftly switched to plan B.

"Hey," Matthew's voice echoed through the phone, instantly comforting you.

"H-hey, Matts..." your voice quivered slightly, despite your efforts to stay composed. "I hope I'm not disturbing your evening..."

"No, I'm just chilling at home... y/n, are you alright?" His concern was evident in his voice.

"I... I just..." you stuttered, avoiding direct eye contact with the two men but catching them in the corner of your eye. "I'm just feeling a bit..."

"What's wrong?"

But before you could respond, one of the men started heckling you again. "Hey, sweetheart! Lost your way? Need a tour guide? I'll show you a real good time!"

You had to take a deep breath to steady yourself.

"What's going on, y/n?" Matthew's voice was firm. “Who was that?”

"There are... um, some guys, Matts," you whispered, struggling to hold back tears. "It's really uncomfortable, and I just needed to talk to someone..."

"Where are you?"

"I'm..." you paused, gathering your thoughts before informing him about your location.

"Just stay there and try to keep away from the guys... I'll come and get you," Matthew quickly declared.

And before you could even attempt to object, he was already on his way out the door. You had to take in a deep breath as you tried your best to move your feet, feeling anxious as the men didn’t seem to leave you alone. Yet, with a little force, you managed to slowly move from your spot, and wander the platform a little. And with Matthew still on the line, you then cautiously moved towards the exit, avoiding glances back at the unsettling men. However, as you rode the escalator, you inadvertently looked back and spotted them trailing behind you.

"Please tell me you're close..." you whispered urgently. It almost seemed like forever before you were able to escape the uncomfortable situation. Yet thankfully, as soon as you reached street level, you spotted Matthew rolling up in his car, prompting you to hurry towards him.

"Oh my God! Thank you!" you exclaimed breathlessly, wrapping your arms around his neck, almost throwing yourself at him. "Thank you..."

"Hey, y/n… it’s okay," Matthew's voice was soothing as you gently pulled away, your eyes tinged with tears of frustration. "I just wanted to make sure you were alright..."

You were at a loss for words. It almost felt like he had rescued you. Even though the danger wasn't anything extreme, it had felt that way in the moment, and you were incredibly grateful that he had taken the initiative to come and pick you up without you even having to ask.

"I am... now," you breathed out, attempting to muster a smile.

"Good," Matthew returned the smile as he prepared to resume driving. "Let me take you home then."

It was a smooth ride filled with light giggles and laughter, and you probably thanked him about a thousand times before you reached your apartment building. However, as you were about to exit the car, you hesitated for a moment. Pressing your lips together, you pondered whether to speak your thoughts, yet with a light blush of embarrassment rising to your cheek, you pushed yourself to let the words slip out.

"Matts..." you softly began, your eyes meeting his in the dimmed lights. "Y/rm/n isn’t home, and… I sort of don’t feel like being alone tonight... after what happened..."

Your eyes briefly glanced down at your fingers before returning to meet his gaze. Yet, Matthew just offered you a soft smile.

"Hey, y/n, if you want me to stay with you, I can stay… It's no problem."

It didn’t take much convincing, given that Matthew only wanted you to feel safe. So, as you made your way to your flat and settled onto the sofa, you again couldn’t help but express your gratitude.

"You don’t have to keep thanking me y/n," he chuckled as you offered him something to drink, sitting next to him.

"I know... I’m sorry, it’s just so sweet of you," you flashed him a smile. “I just feel like I owe you something.”

Pausing for a brief moment, Matthew put down his glass and leaned slightly towards you, pressing his lips together before speaking. "Y/n... you owe me nothing - honestly, I’d do anything for you..." he let out a soft breath, his eyes meeting yours in a tender gaze. "I mean... that’s what friends are for, right..." The last part came out softer, and perhaps a little hesitant as he didn’t truly want to have phrased it like that.

Yet, his words hung in the air for a moment as you savoured the moment of the two of you together, alone in the apartment as your roommate was out.

"Right," you smiled. "That's what friends are for," you repeated softly.

Another moment of silence lingered as the two of you just sat there, sharing eye contact. Matthew’s arm draped over the back of the sofa, your body slightly turned towards him, and your knee lightly touching his.

Matthew felt his heart pounding in his chest, his palms a little sweaty. He was a little unsure of your signals, however, as you maintained your focused gaze on him, he suddenly felt a rush of confidence and without much thought, he decided to slowly lean in to close the gap between you.

It was just for a brief moment, yet the quick kiss Matthew shared with you caused your lips to tingle.

"Shit... I’m so sorry," he muttered softly as he quickly pulled away.

But you didn’t want him to feel apologetic. In fact, you had had the same inclination, but lacked the confidence to act on it. "No... Matts, it’s okay," you replied, your tone just above a whisper.

"Really?"

And without any verbal confirmation, you simply just slowly leaned in and connected your lips once more. However, this time, they stayed connected for a little longer.

Gently feeling his smooth mouth on yours, your hand rested on his cheek while his found your hip, and almost in slow motion, your lips moved against each other as you shared your breaths. Then very delicately, both of you parted your lips and carefully let your tongues meet in a sensual dance.

It was a soft and gentle kiss, nothing sloppy or rushed. Then slowly pulling apart, you both let out a breath.

"Just to be sure..." Matthew spoke gently. "You’re not just doing this because of what happened tonight, are you?"

Softly, you shook your head, reassuring him that you’d been thinking the same. And with that understanding, you both aimed for another deep kiss. This one hungrier, and slowly growing more intense as you let your hands gently explore each other, pulling each other close.

With every passing moment, it grew deeper and deeper, sending warmth within you that you hadn't felt since your first night with William. However, as you moved to sit in Matthew’s lap, thoughts of William slowly faded, and you didn't even notice your phone buzzing on the coffee table.

As morning light seeped in through the curtains and you slowly awakened from your slumber, a gentle smile graced your lips as you felt Matthew’s arm enveloping your body. Despite him being clad in sweats, you could feel the warmth of his muscular, bare chest against your back.

You lay there for a moment, listening to the comforting rhythm of his breathing, not quite snoring yet emitting odd noises. And you couldn’t help but relish in the memories of last night.

Nothing overtly sexual had happened between you. Instead, you had spent the evening on the sofa, sharing deep kisses and simply enjoying the connection between you. Although you felt a certain level of attraction towards the younger hockey player, you didn’t want to rush into anything. For once, you wanted to take things slow.

And Matthew seemed to be on the same page as you, despite the evident arousal indicated by the hardness in his sweats. Yet, he remained respectful, and when you both realised how late it was, you decided to retire to bed.

Initially, Matthew had merely intended to ensure you fell asleep, tucking you into your oversized t-shirt and beneath the covers. However, as he lay on the bed beside you, admiring your beauty as you drifted off, he too succumbed to a wave of fatigue and ended up falling asleep with his arm around you.

And upon waking up to find you smiling at him, he had no regrets. “Morning,” his husky voice greeted, his eyes still slowly opening.

“Morning,” you replied sweetly. “Did you sleep alright?” you asked, noticing how his rather large frame occupied a significant space of your 1.5-person sized bed.

"Actually, I did," he chuckled, his voice rough and endearing.

There was a tender moment lingering between the two of you as your eyes met. However, the soft moment was suddenly interrupted by the doorbell ringing.

"What the..." you muttered under your breath, slightly baffled as to who would ring your doorbell early on a Saturday morning.

Yet as you made your way to the hallway and swung the door open, you were met with none other than your Swedish friend.

"Willy..." you breathed out, slightly shocked that he had shown up at your door.

"Good! You’re alive," he spoke perhaps a little too sharply, while his eyes were filled with concern.

"What do you mean?"

"I tried calling you yesterday, after you tried to call me," he explained, his tone softening a tad as he locked eyes with you. "But you didn't answer, so I gave it another shot and texted you... but then you didn't text me back or anything, so I started freaking out a little... I mean... I just wanted to make sure you were alright - so I came here before heading to the morning skate."

You let out a sigh as you listened to his words, a small wave of guilt washing over you to how concerned he’d been. "Shit... Willy, I'm really sorry... I was out with some girls, and then there were these guys making me really uncomfortable," you blurted out suddenly, feeling the need to explain.

"Shit what, hold on... what guys? Y/n are you alright?" he asked, a hint of panic creeping into his voice, feeling the guilt for not answering when you needed help.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine... everything sorted itself out," you reassured him, trying to keep calm. But before you could elaborate, Matthew emerged from your bedroom, throwing on his t-shirt from the night before.

And William's gaze immediately landed on him walking into the hallway. "Kniesy?" he exclaimed in disbelief.

"Hey Willy," Matthew replied softly, moving slightly behind you as he greeted his teammate.

"What are you... Did you sleep here..." William started to speak, but his words trailed off as he looked between you and his teammate. "I mean, that’s none of my business..." William shook his head as he processed the situation.

"Willy, no, Matt just stayed here after giving me a lift home," you explained, feeling another twinge of guilt for some reason. You weren't entirely sure why you cared so much about what William thought had happened, yet you sensed it had something to do with your still lingering feelings for him.

"Right, fair enough..." William tried to play it cool, yet he couldn't ignore the flicker of jealousy igniting within him. Though there was a fleeting temptation to punch his mate and teammate, he knew he had no grounds to be jealous. You weren't his to claim, and Matthew had only acted out of concern. So, rubbing his eyebrow with his thumb as he collected his thoughts, he spoke again. "Well, uh, guess I'll catch you at practice then,” he nodded towards the younger player.

-

Nothing particularly dramatic went down at morning practice, but there was a bit of tension brewing between the Swede and the lad from Arizona that didn't escape notice.

Despite William making an effort to appear calm and collected about the events of the previous night, he couldn't quite shake the irritation he felt towards himself. He knew he had feelings for you, probably since the first time you spent several nights together, getting intimate in various ways. And as he was aware that he hadn't pursued anything further, he couldn't help but feel some regret now that he saw you moving on with someone else. And not just anyone else – his teammate and close friend.

His frustration was even clear during training, when he couldn't score the way he wanted to, so he knew it was getting to him more than it should. "Fuuuuuck," he muttered to himself after another failed attempt.

Meanwhile, Matthew was unsure how to act around his friend. Part of him wanted to explain himself, to tell William that he had feelings for you, and he didn't feel guilty about it. But the truth was, he did feel guilty. He knew you'd been with William first, and that William hadn't exactly ended things with you – it just sorts of fizzled out. So, he understood that there were still lingering feelings or something between you.

"Alright, that's it for today! See you all later for the game!" Coach Keefe announced, signalling the end of the morning training session.

The locker room was buzzing with anticipation for tonight's match. However, as the boys left one by one, leaving William as the last to finish up, Matthew, sitting just two stalls away, saw an opportunity to address whatever was going on.

"Hey," he approached gently, despite knowing William wasn't in the best mood after practice.

"What's up?"

"I, um... we're good, right?" the younger forward asked. "Like, you and me, we're good..."

William had a feeling of what Matthew was referring to, so as cool as he was, he just shrugged. “Yeah, of course.”

“Good, alright,” Matthew nodded.

“I mean, thanks, for… you know being there for y/n,” William then added with a gentle smile, trying his best to hide his complicated feelings still stirring within him.

“Of course, I mean when she called and said she wasn’t alright, it was the only thing I wanted to do…”

William nodded. “Right… yeah, that’s good…”

There was a brief moment of silence as the two boys just sat there and gently nodded in agreement.

“Willy, just to be sure… there’s nothing going on between you two, anymore, right?” Matthew stepped carefully.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean… let’s say, I want to make a move on her, ask her out, you know- you’ll be okay with it?”

Pouting his lips William pondered for a moment. Of course, he wouldn’t be okay with it. He still had feelings for you and if Matthew made a move on you, it would probably complicate things even further.

“Well, have you asked her out? I mean, is there like something official going on?”

“Uhm… no but, I guess I might want to… and I wouldn’t want you to be mad if you know she wants it too…”

“Ah… yeah alright…” William thought for a moment. The angel on his shoulder knew he could be the good guy here, admitting his wrongs, yet the devil on the other shoulder told him to play the game, and not give up. “But I mean if there’s nothing official between you… then I can still…. You know, take a shot.”

It was as if small competition was slowly forming. Something neither of the boys truly wanted, yet it started to seem inevitable.

“You want to take a shot?”

“Well, yeah maybe… I mean, I still like her.”

“Yeah, but you also said you didn’t want to date her – you dumped her, remember?”

“I didn’t dump her… I just… I wasn’t ready, alright… I am now, and I mean it’s not like anything has happened between you – it’s just a crush you can get over.”

Though Matthew knew that William had slept with you, and he hadn’t, he still knew that there was something between you and him.  “Well, something’s happened – we made out.”

“You kissed?” William froze a little. “When?”

“Last night… a lot actually…” It was his best card to play, but he knew it held significance.

William pondered again. So, he hadn’t just picked you up and driven you home. You’d invited him inside and made out before you let him sleep in your bed. Something William hadn’t done, as whenever the two of you had had sex, you hadn’t spent the night together.

“Hmm…” Was all he managed to reply, as he gazed into the thin air.

“I’m sorry Willy…. But I like her, and I really think she likes me too… so, maybe it’s best if you just… admit you blew your chance and step aside.”

Matthew felt bold as he spoke the words. He was confident that he had the upper hand, and that William was the fool who’d let you go too soon. Yet, there was one thing he hadn’t considered.

“You know…” William spoke softly, turning his eyes to Matthew. “Last night… before she called you… she called me first…” he let the word hang in the air for a few seconds before speaking again. “So, maybe I haven’t lost her completely… and I don’t think I can step aside… not without trying…”

The air felt heavy as Matthew realised that you might also still harbour feelings for William as well. It almost felt like a knife to the heart as he thought he’d have to fight one of his best friends to win you over, yet he couldn’t let it go. Not at this point. He’d fallen for you, and there was no escaping his feelings.

Meanwhile, William struggled with his own thoughts. Should he really back off and let Matthew go for it with you? Or should he try one last time, knowing that at least he tried to fight for you, and not just give you up that easily? And though he for a moment considered stepping aside, he just couldn’t do it. It wasn’t in his nature to give up. And given the fact that no other woman had ever made him feel the way you had, he wasn’t ready to let you go.

[madi-writes-things]

Nobody Pt. 5

(C.Sturniolo X Reader)

Summary:

Chris and Y/N never seemed to get along, but sometimes help comes from the most unexpected places

Word Count: 906

TW: Cursing, SH (not in detail, but it is talked about), Hurt Comfort, Crying, Not Edited, Hangover (again, I’ve never even had a full beer. So this is probably not realistic 🤷‍♀️), Liquid Tylenol (self indulgent, but I personally struggle with swallowing pills. Any thing other than my iron pills is liquid 🫠), mentions of a dead sibling/toxic family, birthday stuff

A/N: I have over 100 photos/videos from the hozier concert… it took so long to find the Chris pics 🙃.

-Madi <3

“”“”“”“”“”

Y/N’s POV

Pain. Excruciating pain all throughout my skull and body. I reach out and realize that Chris isn’t in the bed with me. When I finally muster up the strength to open my eyes I see a bottle of water, liquid Tylenol, and a note on the nightstand.

Out filming with the boys, I’ll be back soon. I got you the liquid Tylenol, I know you struggle with pills (especially if you’re nauseous). Make sure you drink plenty of water, and try to eat something :)

I quickly take the accurate dose of Tylenol, nearly in tears about the fact that he remembered my struggle to swallow pills. My hands shake as I lift the water to my lips, my mouth feeling dryer than the Nevada deserts. The thought of eating right now made my stomach churn. I rolled over, and tried to imagine Chris holding me. As much as it sucks, it’s the only way that I can sleep at this point.

“”“”“”“”“”

Chris’s POV

I hated leaving her alone this morning, but our video is supposed to go up at 6:00 today and we hadn’t even filmed it yet. I left her a little note with some pain meds and water, I honestly hope that she didn’t wake up yet. The thought of her waking up disoriented, without me there is one that I’ve been trying to push to the back of my mind.

“dude, she’s fine. We’re almost home, and she probably just rolled over and went back to sleep if she did wake up.” I look at nick when he says it. I know he’s probably right, but it doesn’t stop the incessant bouncing of my legs.

I finally decide to change the subject to something that I’ve been thinking about for a while. “What are we doing for her birthday?” I know she doesn’t celebrate her birthday usually, but I think she deserves a celebration. Nick and Matt both make faces at me, conveying my thoughts. “Listen, I know that she doesn’t celebrate, and I understand why… but I want to make her feel loved, we’re basically the only family that she has.”

“we’ve tried to do birthday stuff with her…” Matt starts, staring straight ahead. “I promise you, she’ll just cry.”

Before the conversation can continue, we pull up to the house. I’m out of the car before Matt can even get the keys out of the ignition, and I’m up the stairs in no time. When I open the door she’s laying peacefully on her side, the water bottle is empty and the Tylenol has been opened.

she looks so peaceful. Her hair falls gracefully across her face, and her arms wrap around her body. As I get closer I notice something odd about the way she’s lying.

there are obvious tear tracks down her face, and he’s holding herself tight… it resembles the way that I hold her.

“”“”“”“”“”

Y/N’s POV

I feel hands on my face before I register the fact that I even fell asleep. Soft hands, brushing the hair from my face and pulling me gently from my slumber.

“Hey baby” that when my eyes open. There he is, crouching in front of me. Chris. “There she is.” He’s practically giggling, which makes me smile.

I sit up quickly, making myself a bit dizzy. He just holds me upright, a slight look of worry in his eyes.

Suddenly his hands are on my face again, wiping away my tears. He wasn’t supposed to see that, he can’t know that I cried myself to sleep because he wasn’t there to hold me. That’s not allowed when you’re fake dating someone, you aren’t allowed to need them this much.

“”“”“”“”“”

I can’t get out of Chris’s bed. I no longer sleep in my own, and as soon as I opened my eyes this morning I regretted it. For a moment, right when I woke up, I felt like it was going to be a normal day… but then I saw the date when I opened my phone.

I contemplate trying to sleep through the day, when I hear the door creak open. I roll over to see Chris balancing a personal sized cake in one hand, and a ballon that says “20” in the other.

I’m crying before he can even make halfway to the bed. As soon as he sees me crying he rushes to set the cake down and comfort me.

“I know baby” there it is again, even when we’re alone it slips out sometimes. I live for the moments that I can pretend that he loves me too. “I know you don’t really celebrate, and I understand why, but I also think that you deserve to feel cared for and celebrated by the family around you.”

now I’m crying even harder.

I hate today, partially because it reminds me of my brother, but also because I feel like I’m not allowed to be happy on a day that centers around him. Growing up, I wasn’t allowed to celebrate, my parents practically refused to acknowledge me on my birthday after his death.

“Here, I had nick get your favorite flavor” he shows me the cake that was formerly sitting on the nightstand. He places two candles into the cake before lighting them. “Make a wish.”

I wish that this wasn’t fake, that someone could actually love me as much as Chris pretends to.

“”“”“”“”“”

@unbruisable @bernardsbendystraws @sturniolo-fann

[chantsdemarins]

This Year’s Enigmatic Plus One🪅🎉

Part 1: So Much for Talking...

Words: 2,574

Summary: Loki returns to your life after a 10-year absence. The moral of the story, some Loki’s turn into trees, and others drive Porsches and escape from the 9th century just to torment you.

Smut rating: Yes 🔥🔥🔥

Plot rating: There is a plot hidden in the weeds of ⭐️ smut.

Oh man, I can’t believe it has taken me so long to get back to writing! But I’m back! This story is silly 🙃 but it got me ready to write my next big story that should be arriving soon! I hope 🤞 it’s at least decent!! It might be rusty!

These folks might want to read! I am missing people I know. So please let me know if you want to be tagged in new projects.

@ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @thomase1 @mcufan72 @caffiend-queen @fictive-sl0th @muddyorbsblr @gigglingtiggerv2 @anukulee

@mischief2sarawr @mochie85 @sailorholly @lokisgoodgirl @shambelle97 @lokischambermaid @eleniblue @smolvenger @wheredafandomat @hiroyukinasukawa @meowmeow-motherfucker @latent-thoughts @buttercupcookies-blog @kingwwend @coldnique

“I’m hard underneath the table, just in case you wondered.”

He had sauntered into the café just barely two minutes before and this was one of the first things he could think to say. Loki’s innate smugness still took up too much of his face, you could barely see the handsome man behind the wide grin.

You were trying to maintain a façade-you weren’t going to give in so quickly.

Shifting your weight slightly in your chair, not to appear too eager or too unbothered. You were so cool-you could be the frost giant.

You scuttled your water glass closer, perhaps an instinct to grab something. Your eyes narrowed.

“I wasn’t wondering,” you took a sip, placing the glass back down with a dull clank.

You continued, “I guess no need to explain yourself or apologize first. No need to tell me where the hell you’ve been.” The litany of words flew faster out of your mouth the longer he kept smiling.

It had been 10 long years. Loki’s expression changed to slightly sheepish. Maybe he had been too bold. Too presumptive. He tried to back pedal a little.

“Dove, I can’t help it. Sorry if my expletives were jarring.”

“More like degrading.”

He couldn’t just wander back into your life like this. You had questions. You needed answers.

For example, you’d aged, he hadn’t. You were now in the throes of everything breaking and falling, loosening from the bones, readying for some easy mortal grave. Loki on the other hand was resplendent with eternal tightness and no doubt, hardness.

On the upside, you were much wiser. The sparkle in your belly from men like Loki was now your own fire. He wasn’t the only way the flame could ignite. Just a rather fast one.

But you knew he was not lying about being hard. So now your mind was glued to his inseam.  

Had you the presence of mind and the reach, you’d find your hand barely able to hold his cock. It was always too much and not enough.

You had known that on Earth we learned from our stupid mistakes, and Loki being some eternal ballerina didn’t necessarily have to. He could just dance away to another stage, another production.

Unless of course, something had occurred to change from the scorned prince you used to fuck and then regret. If he would just explain himself, maybe you could decide how quickly this was going to be over.

“Where have you been Loki?” You croaked out.

Not missing a beat, he continued. “You want to see?”  

“What? No Loki! Not here! We are in public!” Your face was turning three different shades of vermillion.

“Woman, no I don’t mean my impossibly hard cock, I mean do you want to see a picture of what I have been doing?”

“Shit.” You took a long drink of your water, so long in fact your glass was emptied.

“Thirsty?”

“No, no not really, I mean it’s fucking water, Loki you are supposed to drink it! Didn’t they have water on Asgard?”

You shouldn’t have mentioned Asgard.

You instantly regretted it but couldn’t find a way to apologize, you were too startled by him. It had taken three valiums, four episodes of 90 Day Fiancé, and two phone calls to your bestie between Monday and today to even say yes to possibly meeting him.

His body went from loose to more restricted, brushing a stray obsidian lock of hair behind his ear. He opened an old looking bag and pulled out a photograph. It was strange he didn’t have a phone or some other advanced technology.

Now that your eyes could focus, he did seem a little primitive, his outfit was simple, no fanfare, no announcing his royalty or his esteemed place in the cosmos.

“No cell phone?” you had to say it.

“No.”

“Okay, this must have something to do with where you’ve been.”

You looked down at the tabletop, Loki laid out a single picture. It was him wearing what looked like a knight’s armor.

“You are acting now?” you said with a giggle.

He laughed. At least he could still laugh.

“No pet. Not acting.”

“Why do you look like you might have been at King Arthur’s court?”

Loki’s impossibly blue eyes smiled along with him as he dared to explain more. “You are a smart one aren’t you. Close.”

“You traveled back in time?”

“Let’s just say I am Loki, but I am not exactly the Loki you remember.”

You looked closely at the picture. He better be able to explain why he had a camera in 800 CE. The horrible thing was-he looked fucking hot as a knight or whatever was going on.

“Intrigued. Continue please.”

“You’re apt to believe me?”

“Why wouldn’t I believe you Loki? You are a god and last I knew you had repented for almost blowing up New York City and then your ancestral home was completely destroyed. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about what role you played in all of that. I had five years of therapy because I was fucking a being that might have destroyed an entire realm. Yeah, no biggie.”

You had devolved in your speech, covering more ground than the question of believing him. Your face grew hotter if that was possible.

“Well gods don’t do things small, you know that. If I recall correctly that is why you were ‘fucking’ me as you so crassly say. You like ‘big things’, or my ‘big things’.”

You were on the verge of crestfallen. This conversation was terse at best. Not going so well. You kept reloading arrows from your imaginary quiver.

“Fine, then I’ll send you my therapy bill if I ever figure out how you’d possibly pay it.”

“I’m insulted by the idea that I wouldn’t pay your ‘therapy’ bill, whatever that is.”

“Never mind,” you scoffed.

You took your eyes off him for a moment and in that nano second, he grabbed your tiny hands in his stupidly big ones.

“Darling, you asked where I have been, can I tell you.”

“Fine.”

“Great, but let’s leave this terrible café, the artwork is grinding my gears, as you Midgardians say.”

“Loki, I have to be back at 4:00 to catch the ferry,” you were trying to keep this punctual.

“I have a New Year’s Eve party I am invited to, I told you.”

“Oh yes, that silly thing.”

“It’s not silly!” you retorted.

“I guess for us timeless beings, another year is like a sneeze,” he smiled, his teeth almost fang-like in the light. Quickly, you both got up and left the café. You had pondered his frost giant form, and how his current Asgardian visage sometimes seemed almost transparent. It was like something of his true self could never really be hidden.

“What are you looking at?” Loki asked, noticing your gaze as he checked his reflection on a parked Tesla as you walked.

“Nothing,” you replied.

“You saw something,” he insisted, his vanity apparent.

“I didn’t see anything, Loki. No red eyes, no blue skin, no lines on your face.”

“What? How dare you,” he grimaced.

“Okay, Loki, we can end this now—I’ll catch the 1:30,” you declared, testing him.

“I didn’t come all this way to fight,” Loki implored, reaching out with his enveloping presence. He was still all legs and arms. Today he resembled a surly black widow spider.

“Let’s not pretend we don’t want this,” Loki said, just before he slightly tripped on the sidewalk.

“Holy Fuck,” he exclaimed, barely saving himself and his drink from a spill. Clearly flustered he slowed his pace.

“I see you’re still agile,” you noted, and he shot you a glare back. Maybe it was better to be in a private place or at least somewhere with better artwork.

“Do you have a hotel or something, Loki?”

“I don’t, but I have this human car,” he replied, showing off the Porsche’s flash with a clicker.

“How did you fit in this thing? I thought you said gods liked big things, to match their um big things,” you teased.

Staying mad 0 points, being cheeky 100 points. You were failing. You looked at your Doc Martens and pretended to study the scuffs.

“Just get in, pet,” he urged, holding the door open for you.

“That’s interesting Loki, you never held the door for me before.”

“I didn’t?”

“No.”

Once inside, you inquired smugly, “Where would be we going? You came from somewhere?”

“We don’t have to go anywhere. We can just get warm and continue our conversation here,” he suggested, his grin widening once again.

“No…No…No…,” your thoughts raced, considering the implications.

“Are you saying you want to get warm? Like, turn on the heater warm?” you questioned, hoping for clarity.

“No.”

“Then what did you have in mind?” you pried.

“My lips can be warm,” he said, his voice persuasive Shakespeare.

Shit, again.

Just then he moved his head a touch to the left, the damn car was so small all it took was this movement and his indeed warm lips covered yours. Kissing Loki was always the beginning of something, never an isolated act. If he had been earlier to arrive, say at Christmas, you could have reenacted the “Baldur scenario” as he used to call it.

According to Loki, Baldur was some relative or something, accidently killed with a branch of mistletoe by him, apparently an honest mistake. Instead of having that terrible image seared into humanity’s memory he “changed” the story to have mistletoe be an excuse for kissing not killing. Leave it to Loki for creating something so inane.

Yet kissing him was one of life’s true pleasures. His mouth engulfed yours. 10 years apparently produces a lot of feeling. His hands raked through your hair holding your head as he continued to press himself deeper into you. The fire. It was burning.

Fuck all where he’d been. He could have been shacked up with Marjorie Taylor Green for all you cared. Okay, maybe you did care about that. He better not have been.

He slowed down, nipping your lower lip. Giving you just a second to slide your body on top of his. By now the windows were completely fogged, hopefully giving any onlookers a laugh and an impetus to hurry along. Your body just barely fit on his lap.

One of his long arms pushed his driver’s side seat back with a jolt, you had a little more room, but it mostly just landed you squarely on his now very clearly hard cock with a thud. Your moan was partly concealing what could have been tears. When he was inside you it felt like it was a short flight to your heart. You hated that fact even more now that you were matured.

“I thought you were being cautious,” he whispered into your ear, prompting you to snap out of it.

“I was.”

“Oh, I see. Just a bit of positioning from me, and all your reservations vanish. Converted so easily,” he observed, his breath warm against your skin.

“Not quite, Loki, but if you don’t... I can’t even...” Your words trailed off as you grappled with your thoughts.

“You won’t what?” he prodded, distancing himself slightly to unzip his pants.

“I won’t call you.”

“I don’t have a phone,” he chuckled lightly as he maneuvered his pants down, supporting you effortlessly with one arm. That cock he was bragging about earlier was making what would surely be its penultimate appearance.

You noticed the absence of his underwear and couldn’t resist commenting, “No underwear, huh? Prepared, are we? That’s unlike you, Loki. I thought you enjoyed the ritual of undressing.”

He glanced down with a feigned innocence, “I wear underwear?”

You paused, meeting his gaze, “Yes, you do.”

If you hadn’t been seconds from plunging down on top of him, you’d put these pieces together more carefully, used your journalism chops to understand these subtle changes. You studied him. He seemed slightly like a different version of himself.

It was like the way the wine snobs spoke about different versions of the same wine. Now it seemed like he was perhaps less oak and more peach. Chalkier minerality, less green apple. A glitch from the time apart perhaps? You wondered. Maybe you didn’t remember him like you thought you did?

Your introspection was halted when he fucked up into you with a velocity that brought your hands to the roof of the tiny car, trying feebly to steady yourself. Noticing your struggle, Loki grabbed your hips, moving them. Forcing you into the cadence of his pleasure for a moment until you could gather your wits and your strength. You were not some coy maiden for this space man to bed anymore. His eyes were closed, his fang teeth biting his lower lip, as if saying okay fine, have your way with me.

You could barely hear his whispers; they were just beyond audible. Something about the best...’something’ he’d ever felt, and to “ride him” like St. Michael’s horse. Whatever that meant.

Every single time he told you that you were the best, you believed him. That was the problem. You wondered if he’d even be able to pull out, there was no room in the minuscule Porsche, it had you pinned together permanently it seemed. If you got pregnant, you would blame Loki’s bougie taste.

“Loki,” you said his name with a shudder. Your bodies slowly going limp. You had come at least twice. You wondered if he had as well.

“Was that worth waiting 10 years for?” he asked, a smug satisfaction in his voice as he emerged from his trance. His own face slightly flushed.

Hopping off his lap with a wince, you wanted to answer him but couldn’t. It was worth it of course but you couldn’t tell him that.  

“Are you ready to talk now? Now that we got that out of the way?” he inquired.

“You still want to talk…what?” you asked, your disbelief evident.

This really wasn’t the Loki you remembered. You expertly wiped the condensation from the window, just like someone who always had sex in tiny sports cars, but a noticeably displeased official face appeared gazing back at you.

“Oh no, I guess we didn’t go unnoticed,” you muttered as you pointed to the officer.

“We better go,” Loki said, starting the car and clearing the window more with his scarf.

“Loki, I have my New Year’s Party. I can’t go with you!” you protested, trying to compose yourself.

“It’s either stay with me or talk to ‘Mr. Blue Coat’ there,” he presented the options with a hint of urgency.

“I would be the last person to make fun of blue things if I were you,” you shot back with a mix of frustration and humor.

He actually looked nervous. Maybe you were past giving him a hard time, maybe because he had just given you a really good hard time.

“Okay, fine, drive, but I better not be your hostage, if you still do that sort of thing,” you barely conceded.

“You made the correct choice,” Loki said with a breathy chuckle, the car pulling away swiftly seemingly ignoring your hostage reference.

“It was either join me or explain our...activities to the police. Not much of a hostage situation if you ask me.”

You rolled your eyes. “Hostage to your whimsy, maybe.”

“And what about that picture?” you asked, motioning to the image of him in medieval armor now on the dashboard.

Loki glanced at the photo. “Ah, that’s what we need to talk about. Let's just say I’ve had some... historically significant adventures.”

“Historically significant, huh?” You leaned back, processing his words and their implication.

This car ride better "come" with some more answers...

To be continued!

[the-sinful-voice-witch]

The Bi Tim Drake and Stephanie Brown, is time I let them go...

I'm deeply sorry fellow Timstephers... I wanted to be loyal🥲, I really did but in the end... I think Steph deserves better😢 so I must embrace my other options for her because DC actually never let them fully click, at least on Tim's side and honestly this hurts, because despite everything I actually wanted them to work but now I have to accept that maybe the writers just did too much damage 🥺😞, let's start for the beginning👇👇:

I wish her identity was kept secret longer, it would have been more romantic if Tim fell for her not knowing her face and frankly the love triangle/cheating thing with Ariana (his first girlfriend) was so messed up and exhausting to read... I didn't like their first kiss was cheating! 😞 and when they finally got together they had again the stupid problem about Robin's secret identity, (I think somewhere in between there was an issue with another blonde girl, named Greta who tried to hurt Steph and I hated Tim's way of acting 😑 she even kissed him and he didn't react badly despite being with Steph 😠 in fact he smiled and said "chicks dig the cape") then Batman tells her Tim's identity, Tim gets mad then they make up, then she thinks he is cheating on her because a random girl classmate kisses him out of the blue and becomes Robin when he retired, then she dies and... He gave us a dry, tearless and unsatisfying reaction 😒, then not even a year passed (in the comics) he quickly starts having new suitors (writers can't just let him being single), like some girl named Darla, Cassie (another blonde with who he has a double rebound relationship after Superboy's death and Tim expressed a lot of more grief about Superboy, his best friend than the one who was his girlfriend, Stephanie was barely mentioned because they wanted you to forget about her) and then when he had again another civil background character girlfriend named Zoanne BOOM Stephanie comes back to the land of the living... and again... Cheating kiss! 🙄🤦‍♀️🤬 why? Just why? And of course the relationship with the boring civil girl doesn't last but he doesn't get back to Stephanie until he finished his dark emo phase in which he had a relationship with Tam Fox who dumped him because she only liked his Red Robin persona and also has a horny moment with another girl named Lynx while still being attracted to Steph 🙃🙃 What kind of ladies man is this guy?😂 (he also had a thing with jubilee from Marvel in a crossover and... Fucking marries BARBARA GORDON💀💀 in one of Batman's video games, I can't fucking believe there's an universe where Barbara gets to marry Tim but not Steph? Batman beyond doesn't count because is not confirmed the background wife is her and very spiteful I have to mention when Barbara's "death" Happened again he expresses more grief and gives more reaction than when Steph "died" But seriously WTH? In that game Dick is there too why is Tim the one romancing Babs when she is supposed to be even older than the oldest Robin? 💀💀) and finally after Stephanie wins some random tournament they get together again and almost bang but they couldn't because they were all banged up from the fight and I think that was all until the new 52 reboot...

So in the reboot they changed their origins and they met in Harper Row's house, they looked at each other Harper teased him and... They got together out of camera 😑😑 (I hate it when they do that, you skip all the development!) and they gave us this beautiful scene in young Justice

These beautiful moments that we will never get back... I can't believe after this passionate confession of love and everything that happens in these Issues (though to be honest this moment doesn't have as much weight as it would have in the pre reboot because here we didn't see the process of them falling in love) they just separated them like nothing out of the blue in such a tacky VERY tacky and lazy way 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ but before that... Let's talk about the toxic side of their relationship pre new 52 reboot:

Stephanie once told Tim that he was too good for her in anycase when he was having insecurities about her feelings, he once asked her if she would like him even if he wasn't Robin, he was always insecure about their relationship (even thought she wanted him so hard and was so eager and straightfoward on him since he kissed her for the first time) and honestly giving how he treated her... I see so many inconsistencies 😑 or hypocrisy, I always hated how he always put her down and discouraged her from the vigilante life making her feeling she wasn't worthy or good enough (of course under the excuse of good intentions because that life is too dangerous... When he had a normal family and a good life unlike his orphan predecessors and Steph who had a shitty life with a criminal parent and drug addict mother and still demanded to be Robin because that was his dream... And then DC made him conveniently an orphan too to make things easier at the same time they tried to get rid of his girlfriend 🤦‍♀️) when he always felt exactly that way and Batman and other characters had to cheer him up constantly so where did the empathy go? No, seriously🙁 how is it that he is the one comforting her when is Batman the one making her feel that way? What about the times is HE is the one who does it? Feels so hypocritical, he held her back on her potential, I remember reading an issue when he arrogantly said that be a part of the teen Titans is out of her league when she was offered to join and had the entitlement to affirm that she can't speak for herself (and honestly I only saw him be against that because later in young Justice Cassie thought she was joining and was appraised by other members while training, they didn't look down on her but no, she was there only as moral support for Tim) and tried to shut her out a lot of times even in front other characters like Black Canary and Green Arrow's son and in his red Robin period when Bruce was believed death also treated her so bad and demanded her to never be spoiler again, the arrogant prick! I know he was very hurt and sad and what Steph did under Batman's orders was messed up but still to arrogantly demand that? Batman didn't have any right and sure as hell Tim has even less right to take away the Spoiler because is something SHE CREATED without their influence! So dude THE AUDACITY! And again how he called her useless and told her if she was playing dress up when she became Batgirl 🤦‍♀️ yes I know he later apologizes after acknowledging how much better she got at fighting but still... I don't know, all felt shallow. I never liked that she chose to become Robin after she thought he was cheating on her, I saw it as a jerk move but... I can't really blame her for feeling insecure and believe it, after all she became his girlfriend after Tim cheated with her on his first girlfriend and never saw Steph as an equal on that time so... Well I guess all this mess is what helps me to move on them 🤷‍♀️ and now let's talk about the bi disaster... and unfortunately not the good kind:

DC come here, sit with me, we need to talk... Did you hire some kind of... Wattpad fanfic writer by any chance? Because the quality of this pride special... Feels like something you could perfectly find on the lamest part of wattpad 🤦‍♀️, tacky and lazy doesn't even cover up this... and I'm so offended such writing got that amazingly good art 😤😤. So, in the process of making Tim bisexual they had to... Break up his relationship with his girlfriend when they were finally good together without drama after everything they went through for literally NO REASON (seriously there is a real literal dialogue of him explaining to some dude he broke up with his girlfriend someone he LOVES for no reason 🙃🙃) so he could have a relationship with a dude so that he could have a solid proof that he digs in both ways 🙄... This is insulting because in the pre reboot they had a lot of understandable reasons to break up but after the reboot they had a really good relationship of course I didn't like this time they started their relationship out of camera but they still gave us development and a confession I would have loved them to have in the pre reboot but then this shit happened just like that! 🙄🤷‍♀️ So much for be madly in love uh?

You can't just turn that off and then turn it on again on another random person like a switch 🤦‍♀️! Isn't kind of hilarious, people wanted him bi so he could be with Superboy but DC decided to give him instead a background NPC boyfriend created 20 fucking years ago nobody even remembered, yeah sure the guy is not unpleasant but he is so painfully irrelevant just like Ariana or Zoanne (the normal civil ex-girlfriends) but I dare to say at least Ariana provided some "entertaining" drama, exhausting to read nonetheless but still... this random guy was chosen over Superboy Conner Kent! That is literally the only character that could rivalize with Stephanie in story with Tim but noooo Superboy couldn't be Bisexual too... Oh no wait, wait a second... Didn't DC actually made a bi Superboy? Oh dear, let me get this straight (je je "straight", no pun intended 🤪) people wanted Robin Tim bi because they shipped him with Superboy Conner but the ship couldn't be because they couldn't make that Superboy bi but instead they made Bi the other Superboy Jon Kent that shouldn't be in any serious relationship in the first place because he should still be a little kid but they aged him up 🤬🤬 and paired him with another painfully boring boyfriend they think is interesting because is Lois Lane's numer 1 fan🙄🙄 and studies to be a journalist too🙄🙄 because Superman's son had to be in love with a journalist just like him🙄🙄... And he is intangible because we can't have Jon having to worry about his boyfriend being in danger and on top of that has an ugly design, sorry for those who like it but I hate his design... most of the time his hair looks like mushroom style and thick hipster glasses are just not for everyone, Barbara Gordon can pull it this guy can't, I once saw an illustration of him that looked like a pink haired with glasses angry Karen and I just can't unsee it... Seriously he needs another haircut at the very least... Ok back to the Bi Robin...

Ok so it could not be Conner it had to be a civilian, the thing is there was another character they could have used: Cullen Row! The very first appearance he made he stated to be gay and being very interested of in Tim and at the very least he has the minimum importance of being the brother of a known vigilante character, Harper Row. And Cullen and Harper are friends with Steph so I'm sure Cullen would have scolded Tim for how he treated her and pretty sure he would have threatened him to tell his sister to taser his ass if he doesn't make things right with Steph, she didn't deserve to be ghosted! To be treated coldly out of the blue without giving her a reason! Or for a good reason at all. The point is that this was an established gay character interested in Tim and knows the vigilante life, that already make things easier and also is a good excuse to see Harper Row more often even if she gave up vigilante life, it would be nice to see her again but NOOOOO we pull a forgotten character out of nowhere and without development 🙄😑, they shouldn't have slapped us with all this at once in just one pride special, they should have left hints or showing us something in the regular issues, I don't like things happening just because, ok? representation matters but that doesn't mean we have to accept lazy tacky wattpad shit, that's called pandering! why couldn't they take their time to built properly the relationship just like they did with Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn? Like I could see the process of Harley and Ivy liking each other, we also saw the process of Steph and Tim liking each other but they never showed us why Tim and Bernard like each other, what does Bernard has that he destroyed Tim's madly love for Steph so easily? Why does it feel that they weren't on the mood to work on the relationship and simply put a text saying "they've been talking to each other again after Tim and Steph broke up" And boom! They are on a date and the whole story turns into a story about Tim's sexuality 🤦‍♀️🤡, that's right his new boyfriend is a character that is nothing more than a walking proof of his bisexuality, literally that is his one and only purpose of existence and Tim went from being: "the Third Robin" "The smartest Robin" "The true perfect Robin" "The best detective that could best Batman" To literally being known as "THE BI ROBIN"🤡🤡, now the only thing that matters about him is that he was dating a girl and now he is dating a boy... (And same with Jon Kent, he is now just the Bi or Gay Superman, ajjj just make him go back to be 10 years old DC, he was more interesting as a kid with Damian) This is just how badly DC handled this in my opinion because I don't remember Batwoman to be known as the Batlesbian and Harley and Ivy are simply Harley and Ivy they aren't the Bisexual Gotham sirens and we all know Constantine is a manwhore who even banged a embodiment of a whole City but people doesn't only know him because of his sexual orientation, these characters just happened to have this sexual orientations but who they fuck isn't what makes them good characters.

And to make things worse and cringe, because yes this can get worse, on top of making Tim treat Stephanie so badly just because, they denigrated her by not allowing her to feel like a normal human being with feelings who was dumped for no reason, ghosted without a reason and easily forgotten by someone she considered her first true love would feel, you know... Sad, dejected, hurt, angry... Nope. Some idiot thought that she could only do that if she was replaced by other girl but if she is replaced by a boy she has to be nothing but a cringy supportive fangirl ex- girlfriend 🤡🤦‍♀️, that's right Tim decided that the most "sensitive and thoughtful" thing to do with the person he dumped out of the blue for nothing, and ghosted for nothing and tried to ignore her and avoid in her face when she finally confronted him until his friends forced him to behave like a minimum decent person and TALK to her was... Introduce her to his new boyfriend WITHOUT ASKING HER OR EVEN WARNING HER 🤬🤬🤬

and the result was the absolutely cringy shitty wattpad reaction of her hugging Bernard saying "i finally get to meet you, this is the best day ever"💀💀💀💀 excuse me? The best day ever for her is the day she meets her ex's new boyfriend? After everything Tim put her through? Can someone explain to me the need of this? The need to denigrate and ridiculize Stephanie Brown? Hasn't this character suffered enough humiliation?😡😡You know Tim? Superboy at least told Cassie that she deserved a better first love than him and you see I think he never was as bad as you were to Stephanie... 😒😒 in fact I can't simply not understand the incoherence of their conversation... He literally told her: "my feelings for you, I never lied about that you were always what I wanted and more" "It wasn't about your gender, I don't like only girls" (Then he introduces her his brand new boyfriend 🤪) You were madly in love with her, she was what you wanted and more... THEN WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DUMP HER?? THERE'S NO ACCEPTABLE EXPLANATION OF THAT!!! They just said he was on a journey to discover himself phase or some shit bad executioned idea but dude even if discovering you are Bi was part of it that doesn't mean you had to end your relationship... 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️, he later tells to Connor Hawke who is also struggling because he doesn't know how to tell Green Arrow that he is not interested in banging anyone ever (he came out as asexual) that Stephanie was a reminder of his old self that he wanted to let go, suuuuure nice try to make up for a good excuse to be an asshole with her🙄😒.

You know what's funny? I think Steph is bisexual too and I'm not saying this because of her relationship with Cassandra, I'm saying this because when she was talking with Harper Row about Catwoman she was thirsting over Selina's buttonless shirt and later when she was dating Tim she met Zatanna and the first thing she said was "wow you're hot" 😂😂😂 and THAT, simply as it is... Is literally the only proof I need of her being bi, I didn't need her to break up with her boyfriend to be with Cass or Harper (hey, they kissed in that failed show Gotham knights) to believe it, you just need to show interest in both genders 🤷‍♀️, use flirt, use blushing, use a comment mentioning it... You don't need to destroy a relationship!! 🙄🙄🙄 but what is done is done, I'm so tired of Timsteph, I give up I'm sorry fellow shippers I really I'm but this treatment to Stephanie's character is my limit. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH 🥲🥲

And I apologize for this long long long rant but I needed it to get out of my system 🥲🥲 well, like I said Tim wants to stay with his walking Bisexuality proof NPC boyfriend PERFECT, but I need a compensation and I don't want Steph to have nothing to do with that Kyle Mizoguchi, he is as irrelevant and boring to me as Bernard and Jay Nakamura 🥱🥱🥱 I want a proper compensation so I want Steph and Jason Todd to have a slow cooked Romance. Yep you heard me, I demand JAYSTEPH as a compensation for all this mess!!

And of course I plan to make a thoroughly long post like this about why I want Jaysteph to have a chance and with nothing more to say, Bye bye and thanks for reading my post 😘😘😘

[primus-why]

More on the MegOp-centric Orion Pax arc we deserved 😤

Okay but imagine during the Orion Pax arc in TFP if it lasted longer. Imagine if Orion started to get to know some of the Vehicons (or even another large truck like Breakdown?) and would periodically hang out with them in the mess hall during fuel breaks.

Imagine, if you will, that Orion had also taken the time to research his own frame schematics. The change from his old frame was visibly obvious, but what other secrets did it hold? Turns out he is well-stocked with weapons, and has an increased stamina to accommodate them. Clearly, he is built for battle and for hauling large loads, no longer a mere archivist. And because of this, he thinks he could be doing more to help out Megatron and their cause...

Fast forward a bit, and Orion decides he wants to help move some of the energon ore that has been mined that day while on a fuel break. He assures the other Vehicons that it's no trouble at all before stepping through the ground bridge to the mine.

Suddenly, as if lured to their location, the Autobots arrive and make a direct assault on the mines! Orion ducks behind a part of the cave, preparing to online his weapons and defend his comrades...

... only to find that he can't!

His processor races, trying different commands to release the weapons, but they won't engage. A pair of Vehicons spot him while hiding in a similar spot, and they urge Orion to run back to the bridge.

"We'll cover you!" One of them says, just as the other steps out of their hiding spot to return fire.

Orion doesn't really get a chance to answer. He didn't want to leave without them, so he doesn't move right away. In that moment of hesitation, he watches as the other Vehicon is struck by blaster fire, and their companion steps out to pick up where they left off.

Orion is moving before he even realizes it. As other Vehicons pull back to retreat to the bridge, Orion moves across to reach the wounded Vehicon and their companion, who is now one of the last Cons still providing cover fire.

"Pax!" They say, "You need to get outta here! Megatron will--"

"-- Not without you! I won't leave a fellow Decepticon behind." And he means it. Orion doesn't care that he can't activate his weapons, he can still bring the wounded to safety.

Just as he scoops up the fallen Vehicon, some blaster fire catches the remaining Vehicon on the arm, grazing them and coming extremely close to Orion. He feels something shift, and before he knows what he's doing he's pointing one of his servos in the direction of the blast...

... only, it's not just a servo! He's got a blaster now too!

Orion acts on instinct, providing some additional cover fire while he and the rest of the Vehicons eventually escape. Once back, he delivers the Vehicon in his arms to the medbay and they thank him, their voice full of awe.

(Once out of audial range Knock Out advises the Vehicon to not let Lord Megatron catch them looking at Orion like that, as he doesn't tolerate "challengers" of any kind. 🙃)

Orion of course gets an audial-full from Megatron on how he is not to go into battle. It's far too dangerous! And Orion agrees somewhat-- he explains that he's learned of his weapons schematics, but since his servo transformed back after they returned to the ship he hasn't been able to re-engage the blaster.

"Perhaps... you could train me? To use my weapons, this frame more effectively?" says Orion. He sighs, "... I just want to help."

"And you are helping." Megatron assures him, "We need that database decoded--"

"-- Soundwave can do it just as well, yet he enters the field from time to time." Orion pouts, which is an expression Megatron hasn't seen in a very long time.

The silver mech chuckles. "Soundwave was a gladiator. His frame might be different than it once was, but as you say-- he's effective."

Orion slumps in defeat.

"Tell you what," says Megatron, "if you reach a point where you can reliably engage and disengage your weaponry on command, I will train you in the basics of combat."

Orion perks up at that, looking more determined.

"I'll get there. I promise, Megatron-- I won't let you down."

Megatron holds his gaze, smiling softly, "I know. You never disappoint, Orion."

Fast forward again. Orion is talking to the Vehicons about built-in weaponry (since they have blasters in their arms similar to his own schematics.) He still can't seem to do it on command, however.

One of them suggests he recreates the circumstances that brought it out the first time. (Another helpfully reminds everyone that would involve Orion facing down angry Autobots, which isn't likely to happen since Megatron has banned him from leaving the Nemesis until he's combat-ready.)

Orion offers to let them fire upon him in one of the training rooms, to which they all vehemently refuse.

"If Lord Megatron heard you were in the medbay because we shot you?? He'd snuff our sparks!"

Then one of them proposes that perhaps it wasn't actually blaster fire that caused them to activate, simply the encroaching threat.

"What if all Orion has to do is convince his frame he's in danger?"

After some more thought, they put a plan into action a couple days later: Orion will jump from the highest level of the engine room, and the threat of impact will cause his weapons to engage. He will study his frame's reaction in a controlled environment, ideally being able to remember how it feels to engage his weaponry, and therefore would be able to (in theory) recreate that feeling. Of course, before he hits the ground one of the flight frames will catch him, or at the very least slow his fall so he's not hurt too badly. It's brilliant! What could possibly go wrong?

After gathering some courage, Orion finally takes the leap, careful to study his internal reactions along the way.

"So... aren't you gonna go after him?" He hears one of the Vehicons above him say.

"What?!? I thought you were gonna--"

Wait... what?

Oh scrap. Scrap!! They're not flight frames! He's falling to his death for real!!

Orion scrambles for purchase on the sides of the smooth walls, to no avail. Sparks fly off his servos as he tries desperately to slow his fall in any way he can, knowing no one is coming to save him.

Suddenly, he spots a maintenance team emerging on the ground floor below, clearly there to do a routine inspection.

"Look out!!" Orion yells, "Move out of the way!!" He would hate to see anyone get sent to the medbay due to his own foolishness...!

Just as the Vehicons scramble back from whence they came, another figure emerges casually sipping energon, entirely unphased by the commotion.

"Megatron! Watch out!" As Orion calls out to his friend, he can spot the exact moment Megatron recognizes him. The silver mech's optics flare to their widest setting and he drops his cube, spilling precious fuel on the ground. His arms move up, as if to catch him...

... just then a ground bridge appears below Orion, which he goes through immediately (not that he had much of a choice in the matter.) When he comes out the other side, he discovers he is... falling upward?? And significantly closer to the ground from where he last left off, at that. Soon gravity takes hold and he falls back down again, but not nearly as drastically. With his descent successfully slowed, the bridges wink out of existence as quickly as they came, and Megatron swiftly catches him.

"Yes. Thank you, Soundwave." The silver mech says into his comm before turning to the mech in his arms, "Orion, what in the Pits possessed you to jump down the main engine shaft?!?!"

"I-I... uh..." was all Orion could manage to stutter. His processor was still overwhelmed, having just narrowly avoided a painful injury or worse.

Among his racing thoughts, an unbidden memory file queued up-- one where Megatronus was holding him in a similar fashion during one of his many visits to Kaon. The gladiator had literally swept him off his pedes, insisting he carry Orion the rest of the way to their destination, lest the archivist get too tired. Orion knew he could have protested-- he wasn't tired in the least-- but he wanted... by Primus, how he had wanted to be close to Megatronus...

Back in reality, the parallels of the situation sunk in, and Orion felt a blush creep onto his faceplates-- again, not unlike that particular memory. He had been smaller then, much easier to excuse being picked up by his larger companion, but now his frame was bigger and stronger. It should have been embarrassing. There was no reason to be carried, so he had accepted early on that there was no chance of repeating such an indulgence. Yet, here and now, Megatron was holding him; he had caught him, and Primus below it's like he was an archivist again, back when he weighed practically nothing to the gladiator--

"... I'm sorry." He said lamely, acutely aware of all the optics on him now. His blush deepened, wishing not for the first time he could hide behind the facemask that came with his new frame. "There's no excuse, I was being foolish. It won't happen again."

Megatron regarded him for a moment. "Your servos..." he eventually said, and Orion finally noticed just how badly he had scraped up his digits.

He let out a hiss as he flexed, inspecting the damage. "Right... I should probably visit the medbay." He made a move to get down, but Megatron simply readjusted his grip and turned around.

"Uh... Megatron?"

"I'll see to it you get there." Said the silver mech, like it was the easiest, most logical thing for him to do in the world.

"... Oh. Thank you, I... but I can still walk." He huffed out an awkward laugh, "Besides, I think we can agree I've troubled you enough for one day."

Megatron stopped walking and looked at him.

"Do you... want me to put you down?"

Surely he doesn't mean... he's not actually giving him the choice, is he??

"I-it's just that... I don't want you to strain yourself! I'm not as light as I used to be..." Orion couldn't bear to meet Megatron's optics, because he feared his friend might see right through him.

But the silver mech simply shrugged, "You're not that heavy. I don't mind." He paused for a moment, as if waiting for something.

"... If that's your only objection, then..." and with that he continued down the hall, making sure he took the long way to the medbay.

Megatron continued to steal glances at Orion when he could, noticing his flushed faceplates.

'... Cute.' He thought. 'Reminds me of that time I picked him up in Kaon. He blushed nicely then, too.'

Eventually the mech in his arms relaxed enough to rest his helm on his chassis with a small sigh, making his spark flip. However he was still aware of his archivist's bleeding servos, and the fact that Orion would probably start to wonder why he hadn't called for another bridge into the medbay. Megatron stayed his course, but picked up the pace a little.

'Forgive my indulgences, Orion... I want to stay by your side just a little longer...'

[libra-stellium]

Saturn conjunct Ascendant

As a 14 degree Pisces rising this was March 12, 2024 to May 8, 2024.

"Bitch wtf is going on????" - me the entire 57 days and it's coming back around in early 2025

Notes from Saturn in Transit - Erin Sullivan

Saturn over the ascendant can be experienced as an extremely dramatic shift from "who you used to be" to "who you will be" but with a rather traumatic period of uncertainty while the no longer useful persona is sloughed off

It’s been a weird timeeeeeee like there’s some things i'm like so excited about that are a “new me” and then there’s some other stuff I’m like 💀💀💀 about and I’m gonna pretend like nothing is happening for a while longer bc this feels like too much change at once 🥲 maybe in 2025 lol my mind has been going nonstop!

The thresholding that is experienced during this time can be a shock to someone who has strongly identified with or has been identified with a particular and definite image

lol I literally introduced myself as an astrologer to someone the other day bc they mentioned astro and me being an attorney never came up and it honestly felt nice 😩 yeah my entire schooling revolved around becoming an attorney but like it doesn’t "feel" like I succeeded at it lmfao and I’m honestly not putting a lot of effort into making it feel like success either so 🙃

Understanding this necessary loss of personal identification greatly reduces stress and allows a more conscious transition into the new self image. The struggle is all about coming to terms with unconscious material in the conscious mind and vice versa

I think so much is happening in my unconscious mind bc I usually remember most of my dreams in complete detail and the last two weeks at least I know I’ve had very longgg detailed dreams but when I wake up I can’t remember it in the part of my brain that can say it into words lol I feel like I’m missing out on messages!

Saturn brings to the ascendant all the manifest experiences and control issues that have dominated the last 14 year extraverted cycle during which the individual learned how to be present and accountable in the conscious world or accomplishments, deeds, and collective goals

"I'm giving myself goals because I don't know what to do with myself if I'm not accomplishing anything." - Me in 2021 a year after getting my law degree lol I feel like it encompasses this whole thing! During this transit I wrote a list of personal goals and they're not outward things like graduation they're more like be consistent with skin care lol the other day I told my aunt I just relaxed and I didn't do anything and she was like if you're so boring why don't you go on a walk and i was like??? I didn't say that?? lol made me not want to say anything else!!

Symbolic of a descent into oneself

When I first read this I was like oooh seems zen 🧘🏾‍♀️ IT WAS NOT ZEN IVE BEEN IN THE TRENCHES!! It feels like too much pressure to know and be like "this is who I am" i just want to be a pisces rising whose personality changes whenever

Notes from Planets in Transit - Robert Hand

You will try to eliminate everything in your life that is not necessary to fulfilling responsibilities

I didn’t do many things just for fun during this time everything had a purpose. I did finish reading two books unfinished from last year and it was in an attempt to spend less time watching videos which worked!

You will become more complex and simpler at the same time

Idkkkk I’m not sure I understand what this even means

You are finishing up tasks going into a 5-8 year period of relatively quiet preparation for a new beginning

I feel like I’ll see this more in 2025 bc right now I don’t really have anything started that needed to be finished lol

You may have less freedom of movement than usual because of the pressure of circumstances and the need to get things done

A week into this I made happy hour plans and I was going to leave work extra early bc I had nothing to do and I got an assignment literally 2 hours before I was going to go! I did finish in 2 hours and went to HH but it was stressful lol

You may have to exert more effort at work in order to get the job done

For real the last month I actually had so much more work at work than usual I was working a full 8 hour day sometimes 😭 usually I have like maybe 8 hours of work a week!

Your superiors may give you even more responsibility than you would choose to have

Facts! The last few days I’ve been essentially training this girl at work and the last day of this transit I finished lol seemed fitting

Do not start out on a completely new project because in a few years you may find that you do not have the material or psychological resources to complete it

This makes me feel like it should be about something big 😂 I have not started any projects lol I did apply to a few jobs but none of them even responded to reject me so that was also unintentionally not started

Good relationships will not suffer but bad ones will break up completely

I feel like Saturn in aqua in my 12H took care of most of the bad relationships already lol so this was fine

You are withdrawing from everything in your life that is in the way of your development during the next few years

Yeah I’ve been more annoyed than usual at people around me who are making the choice to struggle just bc they don’t want to try something new 😩 it’s been making me feel like I can’t be as close to them like it’s contagious 😂

Avoid building a wall between yourself and others because they are important to you now that you are excluding those who do not belong

Yes I’ve been making it a point to actually say yes to events lol but it's hard to keep in contact with people for some reason! I forget to or think that less time has passed and then I check messages and it's been weeks!

This is a productive time

I did get a lot done! I cooked a lot of meals, I washed all my bedding that’s been sitting there since end of last year, I cleaned my fish tank, I cleaned the mildew off my bathroom walls, I put a lot of my clothes away, my recycling pile is way down, I built a storage shelf thing for under my desk, I sewed a skirt, I read and wrote a lot

Follow through on the tasks that need to be done and get your life in shape for the next phase of preparation

I’ve been intentional about this! I made a list of things I want to get out of my saturn return in my 1H and one of those things is clear skin so I’ve been consistent with the routine like actually tracking it on the calendar! Losing weight was another on that list and the last two months I was just focusing on food like getting back into cooking and the last almost 3 weeks I’ve been tracking all my food and even using a food scale. On the last day of this transit I signed up for the gym!

Overall I would give this transit 6/10 😂 the mental anguish was toooo much Omggg I hope it’s easier in 2025 and after that I’m glad I don’t have to deal with this for another 30 years

[mintytealfox]

I need to know any and all hc you have on Fool's Gold aaa I just love the way you write~

b'aaawwWWWWWWW thanks 🥹🥹💞💞

-RUBS HANDS TOGETHER- Fool's Gold hcsssss lets see what ive got cookin in this brain here lol

Most of these are going to be about when he is on his own and doesn't have anyone he cares about in the picture at all, Cause I imagine he is different when he has someone, even something, that brings 'care' back into his thoughts and heart. AND all are subject to change, just my initial thoughts 👀👏👏

1 .(a potential one, still not landed on it yet but) I think he enjoys the dark and fire, sort of being the 180 of his other self. Likely enjoying the thrill it provides and especially since neither can really hurt him anymore. He still craves light and safety, but he isn't desperate for those things anymore. This potential hc of mine came about cause of this:

I put down my very first decoration and I was laughing cause it looks like Norton was like 'oh man Alice gonna love what I added' 😊-A LOUD BLAZING FIRE BLASTING IN ALICE'S APARTMENT-

2. Enjoys being spooky, enjoys being the bully. ITs like his way of saying 'this is how the world showed me it worked, I am just following the same song and dance that was shown me' and now laughing about it. I think he is having the time of his life thinking that morals are no longer a thing to hold him back 🙃I think Norton never had the opportunity to be a child, and is now taking that opportunity to finally let loose and play. Even though that means playing with other's lives -laughs nervously-

3. Singing is easy for him now. He doesn't have that black lung business anymore and is just humming away and enjoying himself. Feeling free of the weight of humanity.

4. He does feel a constant pain though 👀 and is doing what he can to be rid of it. Like phantom pains, they are there but not a thing you can do about them, really. So, he is using the distraction of hunting and hurting others to dull his own agony that feels like his body is being pulled apart and put back together over and over again.

5. When he is alone and quiet, his decent self nags at him (but this doesn't happen often 😔). Just as he nagged and fought for control before the explosion. but Norton's humanity is still in there, never completely snuffed out. FG generally has full control and doesn't give a single care about anything except avoiding pain. for now 👀

6. The fact that his obsession is still 'to change his fate' is interesting to me. The one constant in his adult life is this mantra: 'must change my fate'

7. Significantly more open with his emotions, not holding anything back. When he is mad? HE IS MAD and there is no mistaking it and vice versa. Ah 😭

[trulybetty]

Sunday Week in Review IV

It has been a really weird week this week. One of those weeks where you don’t feel right but you’re not unwell, but you know you’re not yourself. That’s been me the entire week. As a result, I didn’t read or really do much - but I’m hoping this long weekend will get me out of my funk and back to some sense of normality - whatever that is these days lol 🙃

Truly Betty Updates This Week…

Sick Day (Marcus Pike x f!Reader)

Plans for Gold Rush: I recently had a re-read and got to have a really good conversation with @gnpwdrnwhiskey about Charlotte and Joel this week, and it really made me realize how much I miss them. So, my plan is to go back and have a good edit of what’s posted - (both my writing and editing style have changed and Gold Rush is wordy in places it has no business being). Going to take the next week or so to do that and get back to the story that brought me to this community and even if it’s me and three other people reading it, I don’t mind - because I love these characters and want to see it through ❤️ 

Fics I Enjoyed This Week…

Shared Breaths by @frenchiereading I think I’m up to chapter six on this now, as of this week, complete fanfic! It’s a cute read of Frankie enrolling his daughter into Readers school and two having a magnetic back and forth that they can’t act upon until Frankie’s daughter is no longer in Readers class (boo school rules) and I can’t wait to see what happens when they’re finally able to be together! 

The Layover by @goodwithcheese How are we all doing? Have we all recovered from this chapter? Are we prepared for the epilogue that’s coming? This story has been a joy to read and I will honestly be revisiting this one with a permanent place on my fanfics to recommend list! 🙌

Talk Tonight  by @darkroastjoel Joel Miller. Delayed flight. One night in Paris. Did I mention Joel Miller and one night in Paris? This was a delight to get stuck into the opening chapter this week and I’m a suck for an OC. I’m really excited to see how the night plays out for Camila and Joel on the backdrop of Paris.

Late Night Texts by @mvtthewmurdvck Another series that had its last chapter this week and an epilogue on the way. This has all the hallmarks of a good rom-com and another that will be a re-read in the near future. I had an inkling of how this last chapter would play out, but rather than be predictable it keeps you on your toes to a very toe-curlingly sweet ending that will make you want to hug the screen.

Hungry Hearts | Independence Day by @atinylittlepain This is another that will always be on my permanent fanfic recommendation list. Things are reaching a peak between Cherry and Joel and I can't wait to see how things are going to come to heads between the two in the present day.

Delta Landscaping | Chapter 4 by @rhoorl Just realized I keep thinking this is chapter three and it’s chapter 4 (told you it’s one of those weeks 🤦🏻‍♀️) - anyway, another delight of a chapter from Jess and there’s so much to unpack here with the residents of Mulefall Court - so do yourself a favour and go take a read… or two! 

Supply & Demand by @wildemaven Between this fanfic, @rhoorl’s portrayal of Benny and the influx of Garrett Hedlund posts on my feed this week - I think I’m slowly being converted to the Benny side! This is a truly sweet one-shot that I don’t want to get too into here as it deserves a read to find out yourself how it plays out and how endearing Heidi’s Benny really is. Because even if you’re not a fan, you’re going to want to read more of him! Trust me 🥰

20/20 by @ladamedusoif This popped up on my feed this week and it’s always an instant re-read when it does as it has a place on my favourites list! Joel needs to get his eyes tested and the man needs glasses. However, he really doesn’t want them.

Fics I’m Looking Forward to Reading... My TBR List is still a work in progress, will share it when it’s done 💕

These two I was hoping to get stuck into this week, but mental headspace got away with me and wanted to make sure I gave them the attention they deserve because peep the premises for both! 🙌

Tempered in the Fire by @ladamedusoif Okay, so it’s a Blacksmith Din AU set some time after the Irish Rebellion of 1798 - the creativity in this synopsis alone is enough to have me mentally carving out some time this weekend to devour the first chapter.

Let’s Call this a Win Win by @jomiddlemarch Joel. OFC. No Outbreak AU. Sarah and Ellie at summer camp. Sign me up! Joel is dropping Sarah off at summer camp where he meets camp nurse Meghan. Did I mention that Joel is going to be working maintenance there too? I cannot wait to give this one the attention it deserves and find out what happens! 

Posts I Enjoyed This Week…

Pedro living his best life at a Beyoncé concert this week and everyone living for the pure joy of it. 

Things I’ve Enjoyed This Week…

Marry Me - I am a sucker for a rom-com, and I’m a sucker for a JLo rom-com. Throw in Owen Wilson with a batshit plot line that is absolutely unbelievable and you can just shut up and take my money (which Apple did because I bought it)

Something from Tiffany’s - this was on paper a ‘meh’ kinda concept, but I’m glad I gave it a chance as I adored every second of it and now have all the feels and ideas for seasonal one-shots and mini-series that are way above my ability to pull off lol

Discussing WIP’s and OC’s - got to indulge with both this week with some awesome mutuals about not only my own, but theirs too! It's always oo much fun hearing other people’s thought processes and bouncing ideas around. Highly recommend it!

This Week’s Song…

What's a rom-com without a good pop song? This was the bop of the week as I made my way through the week.

Hope everyone had a great week! Let me know if you have any good fanfic recs or your own lists to share! 💕 xx

[netscapenavigator-official]

Neutrogena needs to get their shit together.

I used to use (a long time ago) the Hydro Boost Extra Dry Gel Cream. It was a really good moisturizer, and I liked it a lot.

I switched to a different brand and used them up to recently, but I recently switched back to Neutrogena. When I did, I looked for the same product. It was gone. They discontinued it. They replaced it with TWO products. Their Water Gel (Fragrance-Free) and Water Cream. I went with the Water Cream. Even though it's a bit of a heavier formula, I've never minded as long as I don't feel greasy and nasty. It's a great moisturizer. If your skin care routine and local humidity conditions are right for Hydraulic Acid products, 10/10 recommend.

Well, I needed more. I was running low on my first jar, and I was at Costco. I saw they had a two pack. Great! I love a good deal, so I got them. Except... did I?

The product I got is called "Water Cream+". Wtf is the plus for?? Every time I look it up it's impossible to find results for, unless I use quotes to force verbatim answers. Even then, I can never find anything about them changing the formula. From what I can assume (and see) the Water Cream+ only comes in a two pack (like at Costco). So... is the Water Cream+ identical to the Water Cream, just sold in a two-pack?? Are they trying to make people who shop at places that sell the two-pack feel "exclusive" and "fancy" or something?? What's going ON?

Also, while I was researching to try and find an ingredient list to compare, I noticed something else: The two products are no longer called what they are. 🙃

Their OG Formula, Plastic-Jar Hydro Boost Water Gel is still called that, and is still available for some reason.

Their OG Formula, Plastic Jar Hydro Boost Extra Dry Gel Cream is still discontinued.

Their New Formula, Fragrance-Free, Glass Jar Hydro Boost Water Gel is now called the "Gel Cream."

Their New Formula, Fragrance-Free, Glass Jar Hydro Boost Water Cream is still the same as it was (so long as you buy singles from basic stores like Walmart).

They now have an even newer "Enhanced Formula," Fragrance-Free, Glass Jar Hydro Boost Water Cream+ that is exclusively sold in two-packs that I can't find any info on.

Yay. 🙃

[444m777]

29 things I love about Michael: Day 8 and 9

I loved finding out that I existed at the same time as Michael. And that he was still making music. I remember vaguely being told that he didn’t “look” the same so I’d be disappointed or whatever. And I was very much like “I know Michael. He could look like big foot and I’d still recognize him”

I grew up a Bad Era girlie even though technically he was in his Dangerous Era when I was born. I had no concept of timing when it came to the Michael Jackson I saw in Moonwalker and real time Michael Jackson. And at that time I only had the VHS tape to go by. My mother was not having it that I became obsessed devoted to Michael at such a young age. By the time I got older (like 8-9) I would say I had a better understanding that Moonwalker Michael was no longer current Michael haha. I was like “oh he got older” as if he was the only person who didn’t age. Thinking back… yeah he really didn’t age. Physically yes but that man was very youthful. He didn’t seem like a boring adult to me when I was little.

So when I finally was able to put two and two together, I really realized he didn’t just exist on the VHS tape, TV and in my mind but he was REAL and we lived on the same planet. THAT was such a sick concept I couldn’t handle it. I started freaking out but in a good way. I was like I MUST find a way to meet him now that I truly understand we exist in the same timeline.

I remember writing a letter to him. And I sealed it promising myself I’d only open it for him so he could read it either in real life or I would take the letter with me to my grave so that I can read it to him in heaven🥴 ah…the mind of a child lol.

I remember people finding it strange that I was deeply into what they referred to as “an older man who was a star turned weirdo”. I never got weirdo vibes. And that annoyed everyone around me even more. I just felt like I was hanging out with a friend every time I came home to watch Moonwalker for the trillionth time🤪

I had and still have eyes and all I saw was a beautiful man and soul. Period! And he never changed. I also remember thinking “Oh he’s older now so maybe he might not be that into making music anymore” and “Maybe he settled down so I have to fight whoever he married and I’m only a child. I have no access to plane tickets” etc. and I was pleasantly surprised he was still making music. Still active. I did not know about his married life at the time. I think that was for the best because kid me would’ve become depressed I think🙃

I just loved that he remained the same. Dedicated to his art. Believing in magic (and his own magic) and caring about the children, the planet and helping people. He didn’t switch up and become the “weirdo” everyone claimed he was.

It’s Michael’s birthday month and so I’m sharing every day something I love about him. Feel free to join in or use the tag #29thingsMJ I’d love to read what you love about him

[dreamedfyre-a]

hel.aena was 15 when the twins were born (and as far as i could deduce from the characters' apparent ages the show didn't change that 🙃). her pregnancy was taken as good news (it was, after all, the point of marrying her to ae.gon, which is made clear by how when the twins are born it's celebrated with commentaries on prince ae.gon 'having heirs of his own'; strengthening his line and therefore his claim with more undoubtedly valyrian heirs) but hel.aena was terrified — and it didn't get better.

she hated every minute of it. how it made her feel and how it made her change and how it made her even more sensitive to certain things (sensorialy speaking) and the pain and discomfort and how she was expected to be happy. she didn't want to be a mother. sure enough, she had known that was to happen eventually, but she had hoped not so soon. once they knew for sure she was with child, the princess prayed it would be a boy so that it might be enough for ae.gon to have his heir without her having to go through this again.

the twins were born a few weeks early, as isn't uncommon for twins (but might have been seen as worrying by maesters, given in universe knowledge of these things). it wasn't an easy birth. it took hours for jae.haerys to be born and jae.haera was a breech baby. excessive blood loss could have claimed her life, but ultimately it did not. it did, however, nothing to make her feel better about the whole thing.

although she would spend time with them often, a lot of the actual caring for the babies was left to their wetnurse and maids. her unhappiness with her marriage and her troubles with pregnancy itself did not greatly impact how she felt about them (she does not blame them for things outside their control, and doesn't really take it out on them in any way. her frustrations are turned inside, more often than not ); though her age and inexperience would make her distant, especially when the children would make her feel overwhelmed (which happened more often when they were babies, and she would be glad to hand them over to someone else if it felt like too much).

she learned to deal with it better through the years (better for the kids, at least; not so much for her making things worse on herself by suppressing them to take care of the children and making it worse when she can no longer hold back; but then again, so much of her experiences already consists on masking and shoving aside anything that's not acceptable until she can't). and, despite her issues, she was always affectionate with them.

when she got pregnant a second time, she wasn't really less scared. it was perhaps worse. the first experience had been terrible, and she expected this would be just as bad. mae.lor was easier on her, though; while there was much she still hated about being pregnant, it was less painful and tiring. the delivery was easy; it took only a few hours for him to be born.

he also benefited from being third. hel was 19 when he was born, being older and more experienced as a mother from having the twins. while a lot of the basic care would still be overseen by servants, she was a lot closer to him from the start, and likely more involved.

which isn't to say he's her favorite (just the babiest. and the one she's able to enjoy? more? from the start. WELL i don't know if he's the favorite 🤧). for now i stand by the fact she doesn't have one. they're all loved and cherished and she does her best to ensure they know. while the circumstances were... less than ideal, to put it very mildly, hel loves them very much.

[youremyheaven]

HEYYYY [insert whatever pet name u like] it's ur venus stellium anon from last month.. do u remember me? sorry life happened 🤩 n i've been pretty low energy so i didn't get around to bothering u. I've been looking at yt vids of some of my chart placements lately and i've discovered something funny (along with other developments like me. I've been looking at ur blog the past one or two days a little and I obvs haven't made my way through the whole "backlog" but some silly thoughts:

I didn't know u were bi! For some reason I felt a little awkward talking about this because I didn't want to be That Person lol (aka everyone was talking about guys and I didn't wanna weird anyone out 😔) but my exes were women 😂 supposedly I gave them daddy energy lmfao I hate it because I wanted that from someone. I talked about them a bit vaguely but it might've sounded worse under the assumption of it being a man. (Unless I didn't say much and just forgot)

I've been reading celebrity gossip and only now realised how people - even the most successful - can have it so truly bad when it comes to romance and idk it made me a little apathetic and allergic to it. Not in a "im swearing off of it" way but in a "im no longer going to expect it in my life. If I get surprised, yay for me. Otherwise eh." (my mind's at a weird place though so it'll probably change when other things calm down, don't worry about me 🫶 this is all about the hypothetical future anyway because I'm not looking for a relationship rn)

Sorry u got hate about ur blog. I can understand anon got upset but the unkind language was uncalled for.

I came across the ask about nodes conjuncting big 3 and one of mine does; i can assure u (and the hate anon) that yes, this particular example (me) DOES happen to be cray cray 😭

This is related to the yt vids and point 2: My charts basically say I'll have an okay enough career, but the romance department would be dodgy because I will never be satisfied by anything anyone does for me (to put it shortly) 😂😂 that had me a little shocked at first but then I was like u know what we kinda knew this.. let's just focus on that career instead LMFAO

HARD AGREE WITH U ON THE FLIRTING IN NON-ENGLISH. I gotta be honest I cringe if I hear flirting in anything other than English (I've only ever been exposed to it in that language) but I read a fic (english) once where this man called his lover "meri jaan" and it had me in a DAZE FOR DAYS (excuse the lame pun pls) SO YES I AGREE W U. I've been collecting other little terms (just 1 so far) that I've seen people around me using affectionately and they're sooo sweet.

I HOPE U'VE BEEN WELLLLLL. I'm away from tumblr lately so I probably won't be able to send u asks in the near future but I hope u stay safe and take care of urself 💖💖 BYEEEEE

HEYYY bbg 🥺

I thought this was going to be astrology related but you're just checking in on me 😭😭😭😭and I feel so touched 🥺🥺🥺

1. About being bisexual

I feel like there are definitely different dynamics at play bc I do attract more butch leaning women who want to be my daddy 🫣🙈 but whenever it's a femme x femme dynamic, I always feel like I become the more dominant one and I do kinda hate it 😭😭

It just wears me out to be the giver tbh 🙃 especially because I already assume that role in so many other areas in my life, I just want to sit back and be babygirled 😭😭 this is why despite being attracted to women , relationships with women don't really work out for me 😭😭

it's all a matter of luck when it comes to love and relationships and sometimes things find us unexpectedly.

what I've learnt from some of my recent experiences is that someone can do all the right things, give you princess treatment and all that yet not make you feel anything 😭 so to be physically attracted to someone, emotionally in- sync with them, AND have a healthy relationship,, it's all down to luck 😭

2. not u calling yourself cray cray 😭😭

majority of people in this world are not living happy lives, be it with regard to love, career or family. To even have one of these things going well is a huge blessing ✨and while it's possible to have all of them, it's okay to not beat yourself up for achieving all 3 in one go.

One of my dad's childhood friends, remained unmarried into her late 40s. This is veryyyy unusual in India and she's not from a bougie artsy family where such things are chill or anything either. She, however, had a brilliant career and is a civil servant and rn she's in a veryyy high ranking position because she's worked her way up. Everybody around her pitied her (for being single and childless) but she was just out there making $$$ by the time she hit her late 40s people stopped pestering her because by that point, it's kinda "too late" to settle down. BUT GUESS WHAT HAPPENED??? she met a reallyyyyy cute Swiss-German man who was visiting our state/city and she happened to be the one showing him around?? (someone linked them up basically) and that wonderful meet-cute led them to marriage in like 2 months lol ,,, this lady who had been single for 47+ years found the right guy and married him in less than 2 months???? Isn't that sooooo romantic??? It's all about timing 💛💛 and now they've been together for a decade and spend most of their year travelling the world ✨and are very much in love

So different eras of our life will have us focusing on different things. Rn it's probably best to make that $$$ and focus on yourself. Love will find you when it needs to 💛✨💛

3. About flirting in non-English

JAJAJSJ yess I used to cringe 😬 hearing Desi flirting across languages 😭but now I feel like I've finally decolonised my mind to find it cute 😭

My ex was Tamil and he used to call me "bomma" which means "doll" in Tamil ,, I had a flop talking stage with another Tamil guy who used to call me "Kitty kutty" ("little kitty") and idk if it's a Tamil guy thing but they go hardddd with their affection through terms of endearment

Flirting in Hindi is always fun bc it's all "aapka this, aapka that" (using honorifics) and respect turns me on i guess lmao 🤭🥵 Idk if this is just a Desi thing but yk how men start calling you madam and ma'am 😌yeah I live for that shit 🤭🤭 they'll be like "madam is still getting ready" and I'll be like 😍yes the hell I am 😍😜

4. Thank you so much for checking in with me angel 🥺🥺 I appreciate it and you soooo much 💛💛💛 you're the sweetest

I'll take care of myself 😜 😌and I hope you do as well!!! 💛💛 May the rest of July be wonderful for you ✨

[angellayercake]

Does anyone else feel like their fandom is the only stopping them succumbing to the crushing weight of everything?

I feel actually sick going back to work today and not just because i am coming back from a lovely weekend where I actually felt something other than stress for the first time in ages.

I mentioned a while ago that I had a promotion right? Well that was already going to be a massive step up for me because I was going from a store at the bottom of the range of sales targets to a store at the top so I was expecting a big jump in expectations and having to manage my time better etc etc

But I also started at the beginning of the new financial year and that has brought with it a whole bunch of changes that I fear might actually break me.

This probably won't really mean much but before managers were basically an extra person in the store. We were free to jump in whenever things got busy or there was something complex that needed dealing with or cover shifts when staff called in sick etc but the rest of the time we were able to do all the tasks that are needed to run the store, some set weekly things and some that just need to be dealt with as they came up.

But now to minimise costs we are required to be 'on rota' so covering an area of the store in place of a member of staff for at minimum two thirds of our time, leaving us with about 12 hours (hahahaha it hasn't happened yet though) a week to do what we need to do. And I just can't. What was already a steep learning curve has become an expectation that I can never hope to meet and I hate HATE not being good at my job. Because it isn't hard. It is just being made impossible by head office assholes that only want more and more profit.

I was trying to get hold of a hr advisor for three days last week and even though I called them 10+ times they called me back twice but when I was on rota with no one to cover so I couldn't take the call because how am I going to ask for advice on a difficult and confidential situation while I am also supposed to be covering somewhere. AND THEN the last hr advisor I spoke to when I explained that I was going to be away for a few days said oh well why don't you email because then you can check your email while you are out of store. Excuse me what???

I just don't know how much longer I can go on like this. I did a stress burn out survey once to get a gift card but then the organiser of the survey emailed me to say they were really concerned about my answers but I was too scared to reply because I don't actually care to know how much this is probably ruining my life 🙃🙃🙃 I don't even want to do this but I have no idea what I should do and my partner is neither able or willing to really do more than he is doing now for me to be able to take a pay cut so I just have to exist I guess

At least I can listen to the future is a foreign land on repeat for the rest of time 🥺

[infernaleikon]

Hello ! I don’t know if you remember I am the person who was watching new girl during her exams ! Ok so we need to talk about the Indian wedding convention episode because it made me think of your au and what would happen with obikin ! I was imaging instead of a convention it was more like a couple retreat to bring couple closer and Anakin wanted to do that for him and padme (feeling guilty about his ongoing attraction with obi-wan). However padme can’t because of her job (for a campaign or something) and she tells him to go with Obi-wan because she doesn’t want to waste money and she thinks it’s funny. Obi-wan agrees because he doesn’t know how to say no but also and guiltily he wants to spend some time alone with Anakin. Obviously there was only one bed. And like in the wedding convention épisode they do activities that show how compatible with each other they are (and it can make a good parallel with the « they were the two parts of the same warrior » thing). And when they come back they are closer than ever and maybe Padme realises something’s off. Or maybe they make out again and Anakin has to tell padme what is going on because he feels guilty (like Jess in new girl). However I don’t see them getting in awkward make out sessions like Jess and Nick once Anakin is single 😂 maybe they have angry sec though ? I don’t know…

Anyway I hope you’re well ! Please take your time and don’t feel guilty with not writing or finishing ongoing projects ! It remains a fun hobby and you will feel inspired when the time comes. In the time being I am reading your fics (again) because they are such a confort (i love the one where Obi-wan is cursed and can’t touch Anakin, the pining is excellent in this one). I might read your magicians fics, I used to love this show and loved Quentin and Elliott together… Unfortunately since season 4 was cancelled before it could end 🙃 we never had the chance to see where their relationship could go…

hi!! i do remember! how did your exams go?

and thank you so much for your kind words <3 and i'm very happy you enjoy my other fics 💕💕💕 i do struggle with creativity atm and it's really annoying when you actually want to write but that want doesn't translate into action for some reason. i hope i'll get around to it again soon because i miss it!

omg!! i promise the magicians fic are all actually happy ending. yes, such a tragic thing that the season 4 got cancelled before it ended lmao

and the new girl stuff is under the cut cos it got a bit longer skskksks

omg that is such a good idea tbh!! padmé would be like, "why don't you take obi-wan? you guys get along and he definitely needs some time off! go and have some fun" while there are sirens going off in anakin's head. obi-wan of course agrees because, well, padmé is basically sanctioning this (the trip, not another make out, obi-wan has to remind himself), he could use some time off and having anakin keeping him company is a treat he can't say no regardless how much the rational part of his brain keeps telling him that this is a bad idea.

meanwhile neither padmé nor obi-wan know that anakin actually booked a romantic trip that he can't refund or change to something decidedly unromantic. and the thing is, anakin is resourceful, okay, he found out that if you tell these people that you're newlywed, they provide upgrades to these couples retreats, and he thinks padmé would've laughed about it, maybe it would've been a hilarious joke or he would've proposed, maybe maybe maybe. but he arrives with obi-wan who sort of looks like he's chewing on a whole lemon when they step into the room and it's covered with rose petals, there's cheap champagne in a cooler (mind you, this isn't an expensive retreat), strawberries, couples bathrobes and a bowl with condoms next to the bed.

anakin thinks it's the perfect atmosphere to have sex. and when he thinks that he realizes he isn't even thinking about padmé and he feels guilty but also not, and he really doesn't know what to make of it all.

neither of them offers to not sleep on the bed. but anakin notices that obi-wan is uneasy and a bit restless, and thinks it's because he doesn't want to share the bed with anakin and it irritates him because!! obi-wan could've just not come on this trip and anyway, he kissed anakin and then never did or said anything about it again, and--. so he snaps that obi-wan should stop fussing and just go to sleep. and obi-wan being obi-wan snorts at that brilliant idea but then quietly admits that he has trouble sleeping in new places, and this mattress broadcasts every little movement anakin does and jostles him which doesn't help.

and if you asked either obi-wan or anakin later, neither could tell you how exactly they ended up like this, but anakin ends up big-spooning obi-wan (to minimize the jostling through the mattress) (and to help obi-wan sleep) (supposedly) (they both don't get a lot of sleep) and it feels so good. obi-wan smells incredible, he's broad and firm under anakin's hands, so different from padmé, so wonderfully solid, and again anakin feels so guilty and at the same time not at all because being pressed up against obi-wan like this feels amazing.

they do all these compatibility challenges the next day and they do them so well, it's flows so smoothly, it's effortless, and everyone is so impressed by them, that perfectly in-sync couple, and anakin glows because this is all he ever wanted. but it's with obi-wan. and anakin is with padmé. and he wonders if these challenges would've been as easy with her but now he'll never know. he finds that he doesn't even really care because he's ecstatic that he managed them so well with obi-wan. who isn't his boyfriend.

anyway, it's probably a whole mess and obi-wan is losing his mind because apparently they're really compatible (which, he tells himself, is very stupid to think and latch onto because of some silly little party games but his massive crush on anakin is just running with it). and anakin keeps looking at him with big blue eyes and a dazzling smile, all happy and flushed, and it's so so hard not to kiss him again, kiss him stupid, kiss him until he forgets all about padmé and just stays with obi-wan.