#but then i had my breakup and entered a deep depression and lost all my friends

[beechersnope]

is this anything

***

“You have a bug on your shorts,” Daniel informed Max, who immediately spun around with a start.

“Where?” she asked, sounding surprisingly panicked for someone who hadn’t reacted at all to the mosquito threat earlier.

“It’s—hang on, just hold still,” Daniel told her. He crouched down behind her, trying to figure out the best way to remove the gigantic, winged creature clinging to the back of her shorts without unintentionally feeling the girl up in the process.

Finally, Daniel steeled himself with a grimace and grabbed the thing between his thumb and forefinger. “Ugh, this is horrible,” he groaned. But he didn’t let it go even after standing back up. “Um, did you want a picture of it?” he asked Max as she turned back around. “For your thing?”

Max seemed surprised by the request. She nodded and quickly retrieved her phone from her pocket to take a quick photo so Daniel could finally let the horrible insect go.

“Thank you for not killing it,” Max said in a quiet voice as she tapped at her screen, her face illuminated in varying shades of light.

Daniel nodded. He didn’t reply that he felt like he had no choice in the matter, considering the sheer size of the thing. He was pretty sure an anvil would have been needed to actually squash it.

***

Daniel felt like a baby duckling as he trailed behind Max through every aisle, only giving input when it was specifically requested, and grabbing whatever personal items he thought he might need when Max happened to pass them by. It wasn’t until they hit the pharmacy section on the opposite side of the store that Daniel finally broke away to grab a bottle of aspirin, and it was at that point that he noticed something he’d definitely never seen in any pharmacies back home.

“Max,” he hissed as he poked his head around the next aisle where she was browsing travel sized hygiene items. It was the first time he’d spoken her name out loud, and it felt strange in his mouth.

She glanced up with a curious expression.

Daniel beckoned her over. “Come look,” he said.

It felt a bit juvenile to point out the shelves of vibrators sitting above the condoms and pregnancy tests that pharmacies normally carried, but it was so out of the ordinary that Daniel couldn’t help but show Max, hoping that she’d find it funny or shocking, at the very least.

Instead, Max just stared at the variety of sex toys with a bland expression. “Well, that’s interesting,” was all she had to say about it before going back to the cart in the aisle that she’d been browsing before Daniel’s interruption.

Daniel followed with his tail between his legs, kicking himself for even calling attention to something like that when every indication thus far had made it pretty clear that a vibrator sitting next to some cold medicine wouldn’t get so much of a giggle out of someone like Max.

***

Traffic had increased four-fold upon entering the city limits. There was a semi driving in front of them at a sedate pace after they moved over into the exit lane, and from the look on Max’s face, it seemed like a road rage meltdown was imminent.

Then the road merged with the interstate, and Max took the first available opportunity to switch lanes and dart around the semi that had been blocking their path. The stress seemed to melt away as they got further and further from civilization, until Max finally seemed to reach a state of equilibrium once more with Flint—and all its traffic—in their rearview mirror.

At some point, Daniel must have dozed off, but when he woke up with his forehead plastered uncomfortably against the window, the scenery outside hadn’t changed one bit. It was disorienting, not being able to gauge from anything in their surroundings just how far they’d traveled and how much further there still was to go.

“Are we almost there?” Daniel asked as he turned to Max.

She laughed. “You were asleep for twenty minutes,” she told him, “tops.” She then paused for a second before adding, “Also you snore. Just by the way.”

Daniel stared at her, completely gob smacked by her reply.

“It’s fine,” Max continued, seemingly oblivious to Daniel’s befuddlement. “I snore, too.” And that’s all there was to it.

***

“So what’s your problem now?” Daniel demanded.

Max didn’t so much as glance at him as she answered. “It’s a waste of space,” she replied in an infuriatingly calm tone.

“At least the land isn’t being developed,” Daniel replied, on the defensive for reasons he couldn’t articulate even to himself. “Surely it helps with like, the urban heat island thing.”

“It is developed,” Max snapped back, and this time there was audible heat in her voice. She looked over at Daniel for all of a millisecond, but it was enough to have him squirming in his seat, wishing he’d never started this argument in the first place. “But it only benefits a select group of people. And those people are always rich people.”

“My family golfs,” Daniel blurted out. He’d played caddy for his mom and his aunt more times than he could count. “And we aren’t rich.”

Max paused a moment, and then slowly turned to look at Daniel with a carefully cool expression. “Where is it that you live again?” she asked in a light tone that belied the gravity of the question.

With a sudden, horrifying flash of realization, it dawned on Daniel that evidently, Max did know where Temecula was after all.

***

Almost as soon as they were under the thick canopy of trees, it started to rain, but not in the thick, heavy droplets that Daniel associated with an especially wet winter. This was a light mist, hanging almost suspended in the air rather than falling to the forest floor. Daniel lifted his hands in wonder, stopping cold in the middle of the walkway as Max trudged on ahead. It was only when she reached the next turn that she whirled around to see where he’d gone.

“What are you doing?” Max demanded in a voice that made her annoyance with Daniel’s lack of forward progress all too obvious.

“This is so weird,” Daniel replied as he stared up at the treetops and spun around like a little kid in a patio mister.

“What?” Max asked. She folded her arms over her chest as she waited for an answer.

“This. The rain.”

“That’s what rain does.”

“Not anywhere I’ve ever been,” Daniel said in a low tone, more to himself than to Max, who clearly wouldn’t be satisfied by any response he could give. But when Daniel tore his eyes away from the fine glistening mist sparkling in the muted sunlight, he caught a brief glimpse of something in Max’s face that could have almost passed for a smile.

***

At the center of the room was a scale model of what Daniel assumed was the logging museum mentioned in the itinerary, positioned on what appeared to be a display stand fashioned from wooden stakes. It was clearly the focal point of the reception area, but Max didn’t look twice at it before heading into the next section of the visitor center: an exhibit hall branching off to the right that showcased even more taxidermy of Michigan’s native wildlife in a faux forest habitat.

She stopped just inside the very first portion, staring down in delight at a creature positioned low to the ground that Daniel didn’t recognize. It looked almost like a cross between a bear, a cat, and a fox.

“I didn’t know Michigan had any wolverines,” Max said excitedly.

Daniel stared down dumbly at the strange animal. “I didn’t know wolverines were even real,” he admitted.

Max whirled around to face him with an incredulous expression. “Are you serious?” she demanded.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

***

“What was New York like?” he asked as they emerged from the trees and turned onto the highway, braving the minefield of a potential conversation with Max for the sake of satiating his curiosity about her.

Max glanced over at him with an uncertain expression. “The state or the city?”

“The place where you grew up,” Daniel clarified.

Max was silent for a moment before replying. “Not too different from where we are now,” she said in a softer tone than Daniel had already been conditioned to expect.

He avoided meeting her gaze as he asked, “Did you like it there?” Instead, he stared out the window, watching fir tree and pine alike go past in a disorienting dark green blur.

But Daniel couldn’t help but turn his head to catch a glimpse of her face upon hearing the first wistful note in Max’s voice as she replied, “Yeah, I liked it very much.”

***

The convenience store wasn’t packed to the brim, and most of the customers were also not wearing masks, but Daniel still felt awkward as he wandered around the interior of the store before finally spotting the entrance to a beer cave with a sense of tangible relief. He rushed over immediately and grabbed two individual cans from the fridge next to the beer cave arch.

He hadn’t spotted Max while searching for the alcoholic beverages, and he wasn’t sure that she would have followed him inside anyway, but he still found himself glancing around nervously as he waited for the cashier to ring him up, trying to keep an eye out in case she had also made a trip to the bathroom or decided to come inside looking for him specifically.

Slipping outside and around the back of the building without being noticed was an even more nerve-wracking process. Daniel crouched down behind an air conditioning unit near one of the back doors and popped the tab on one of his beers. He downed both in quick succession, nearly puking in the process just from the sudden influx of liquid assaulting his already sensitive stomach. He forced himself to keep the beer down out of pure desperation, and once he was certain that he could stand up again without vomiting, he crushed his cans and tossed them into the nearby dumpster.

Daniel sighed as he leaned back against the wall. He closed his eyes, waiting patiently for the feeling he knew would come. Once he started to feel a little more like himself again, Daniel pushed off the wall and casually walked back to where Max had parked the truck.

Daniel climbed into the passenger seat and instantly came face to face with an unfamiliar sight: Max’s blue eyes widened in blatant concern.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” she asked as he buckled himself in.

“Just car sickness,” Daniel replied lightly. He kept his eyes down. He’d never been a good liar.

***

It wasn’t much longer before the trees started to really crowd in on them, the canopies hanging lower and wilder, filtering the late afternoon sunlight through a lens of brilliant emerald green. Daniel forgot the lake for a moment. This, too, seemed worthy of every ounce of his attention, and he stared at the seemingly endless tunnel of green that lay ahead with his jaw slack, eyes wide. Even Max looked a bit wonderstruck.

For a while, Daniel contented himself with the magic of the forest, but then he started to get antsy, glancing down at his phone every minute or so to check their progress along the route to Whitefish Point.

There was a portion of the road that they were rapidly approaching on his map where the lake was practically right there, though the line of trees continued to prevent Daniel from seeing anything. Still, he wasn’t to be deterred. He quickly lowered the window and stuck his head out as far as he could without removing his seatbelt, sucking in as much air as possible through his nose as the wind forced him to close his eyes.

“What are you doing?” he heard Max call out to him, though it was barely audible.

Reluctantly, Daniel pulled his head back into the car. “I want to smell it,” he replied stubbornly before tugging at his seatbelt and leaning even further outside, though it was apparent now that there was nothing to smell, and his efforts had been in vain.

“It’s not the ocean,” Max scolded. “Get back in the truck.”

***

When he turned around again, Max was nowhere in sight. It took him a few seconds to locate her, but once he did, Daniel quickly rushed over past the extent of the grassy lawn surrounding the lighthouse, to where Max was standing in the sand in front of a roped off memorial adorned with a large, bronze maple leaf.

“’Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald,’” Daniel read out loud. “Does that mean you can see the wreck from shore?”

“That’s what I was wondering,” Max replied without turning to face him. “Shall we go down and look?”

“Sure.”

Daniel carefully trudged through the sand and over the rocks directly behind Max, who seemed much surer footed despite her choice of footwear. They made their descent down to where the waves were lapping at a pebble-studded beach, but despite the amount of driftwood littering the shoreline, Daniel couldn’t see any signs of an actual shipwreck.

“Maybe it’s high tide,” Daniel finally suggested after a minute or two of walking along the beach without seeing much of anything. “Do they have tides here?”

He glanced back in time to catch Max’s quizzical expression as she replied, “No?”

***

For a while, Daniel was afraid he might fall asleep again, imperiling the odds of him falling fast asleep in his tent later that evening. He blinked aggressively, trying to keep his eyes open, but it wasn’t until they passed a sign that read ‘Betsy’s Bear Ranch’ that he was able to jolt himself back into alertness.

As Daniel craned his neck to make sure he hadn’t misread the sign, the significance of the taxidermy black bear at Tahquamenon Falls suddenly dawned on him. “Wait, does that mean there’ll be bears at our campsite?” he asked, turning toward Max with a panicked expression.

“Most likely,” she replied without taking her eyes off the road.

Daniel grimaced.

Max must have seen it out of the corner of her eye, because her mouth suddenly pulled into the barest hint of a smile. “Don’t worry, I’ll protect you,” she told him.

“Yeah, great, thanks,” Daniel grumbled.

[lovexjoe]

Armando smut???

Intoxicated

Synopsis: Armando had broken up with you 3 months ago. It was the worse time of your life but you two still worked together. Tonight you celebrate Dorn’s birthday along with his engagement to Kelly.

Warning: Angst, alcohol, drugs, mental health and smut

The past 3 months were not your best. It went from being the time of your life, working with the love of your life to being dumped. AMMO took notice of how much it changed you. The fierce personality was no longer present. You had so much anxiety, insecurities, and depression. You couldn’t even be on a mission without having a panic attack. Armando took notice since he only had his eyes set on you. He felt so guilty that he vanished your light. He knew there was no coming back from this. He had everything he could ever dream of with you, but he felt like he didn’t deserve it so he let you go. Eventually you would be over him, he was not anyone special. Kelly told you in advance if you didn’t want to come, she’ll understand. It’s been 3 months and to neglect celebrating your friends cause of a man was not gonna fly with you.

You finished up the last touches to your makeup and examined yourself in the mirror. You had lost over 15 lbs since the breakup, but it only brought out your curves and snatched your waist; thankfully. Your nerves were starting to creep up on you. What if he brings a date? You started a bad habit of smoking weed again. AMMO doesn't mind as long as you're clean on the job. You took a few hits of your joint to settle your nerves. Which believe me it did, but somehow your mind kept fluttering back to if he brings a plus one. You decided to text your childhood best friend AKA Dorn’s brother if he wants to ride with you. You two haven’t talked since your relationship with Armando because well he’s beyond possessive over you. But tonight you didn’t care.

✧༺♥༻∞∞༺♥༻✧ ✧༺♥༻∞ ✧༺♥✧༺

You and Alex enter the rented out beach house hand and hand. Not really caring if you raised speculations because you’re single after all and it’s time to move on. After you guys placed your weekend bags in your rooms, you headed out to the living room. Both of you guys greeted everyone with hugs and kisses. The night starts with everyone dancing. You and Kelly steal the dance floor having everyone cheering.

“Girl am I happy to see you back out. You look amazing sweetheart” Marcus pulls you in for a big hug. You slipped him his pack of skittles that you promised him and Mike shot you a look.

“I’m sorry! I can’t say no to Uncle Marcus !” You innocently put your hands up slowly backing up. You back straight into someone, losing your balance. Their hand wraps around your waist, their sinful familiar scent filled the air and you knew you were fucked.

“Y/N….” Hearing him say your name after so long. He steadies you and you give him a small smile before heading off to the bar for a shot…make that 3. After you down your last shot, he’s right back next to you.

“You really shouldn’t be drinking so much.” He scolds you.

“You really shouldn’t be giving a fuck cause I’m not yours to worry about anymore.” You snapped. The mix of weed and alcohol making you cross faded. Before he could say anything else, Alex sneaks up behind you and grabs your hand.

“Sorry to interrupt but I’m trying to dance with my date.” Alex gives Armando the “do you mind look” deep down in your gut you knew this wasn’t going to end well. Armando gulps down the rest of his drink, placing the glass back down with some force.

“So what Y/N we break up and you end up fucking the first person you see-“ your hand met his face so fast. The slap causing everyone to “ouuu”

“Fuck you! You broke up with ME! You dont get to be upset!” You apologize to Kelly before heading up to your room. All your emotions you were trying to hide for the night coming back up. Armando hot on your fucking heels. What the FUCK does he want ?!

As you enter your room, tearing start streaming down your face. He closes the door and locks it: now you didn’t even have a choice to escape.

“Don’t give me those bullshit tears! Did you fuck him?” He got up in your face only for you to shove him back HARD.

“So what if I did?!” You shoved him again, this time he pushes you against the bedroom door. Your hands being held above your head.

“You really want to give someone else what’s mine mami?” Oh

The energy shifted in the room. You hated him, but you also hated how much you wanted him. Your body aching to be touched. He leans in kissing you slowly wanting to savor the moment between you two. You felt like you were in a dream. All your senses just taken over by him. You felt so weak but you didn’t want him to stop. It’s been too long. He starts sucking on your neck, placing little bites and kisses on your sensitive spots.

“I missed you, please touch me” you begged causing him to pick you up and place you on the bed. He smacks your ass, giving you the signal to go on all fours. Lifting your dress, pulling aside your thong he groans as he sees how wet you already are.

“Fuck mami, I missed this pussy” he immediately starts to eat you out. His tongue licking up all your wetness. You tried your best to be quiet but you were already moaning his name. He slips a finger in as he starts to suck on your clit bringing out your first orgasm.

“P-please fuck me Armando p-please” you begged as you ride out your orgasm by grinding your pussy against his mouth. He unzips his pants, slapping his length against your sensitive clit causing you to perfectly arch your back for him. He wasted no time slipping into you causing you both to let out a desperate cry. You two were made for each other.

“Fuckkk Y/N, tu eres mía mami” (You are mine)

“Only yours, daddy” you looked back at him causing him to groan. Armando knew you weren’t leaving this weekend not his again. Fuck his doubts. Fuck his trauma. He wants you, all of you forever. He’ll work on whatever he needs to, to be a better man for you. He couldn’t bare another man seeing you like this. He grabs both of your arms holding them as he pounds into you mercilessly. The sounds of your wet pussy and his hard thrusts filling the air.

“I love you I love you I love you” you babbled on, completely fucked senseless as you came for the second time. He gets on top, having you in a pronebone position. Fuck it’s even deeper now.

Kissing your exposed back, his thrusts becoming more slow, but deeper and harder bringing out another orgasm from you.

“I love you too princesa.” He holds you close as he reaches his climax, whispering his im sorrys and please don’t leave me as he empties himself deep inside you

You knew you were never going to leave him and just hoped he never leaves you again.

[barelytolerabled]

Silent Whispers

Spencer Reid x fem!Reader

Summary: After your painful break up with Spencer, you finally return to the BAU.

Warnings: break up, depression(?)

CW: 1.649

Taglist: @envraijesaispas @rosecentury @taygrls @thisismeraki @thenerdthatwrites @bigbunnygucci @jordie-gvf

The cold, sterile hallways of the BAU seemed eerily silent as you walked through them, your footsteps echoing faintly against the tiled floor. It had only been a few days since you and Spencer had decided to part ways, but it felt like an eternity. The once warm and comforting atmosphere had lost its touch, leaving behind an empty void that mirrored the ache in your heart.

The memory of the moment you and Spencer decided to part ways played like a painful film reel in your mind. It was a cold and somber evening, the air heavy with unspoken words.

The two of you had sat on the worn-out couch in your shared apartment, the silence between you growing louder with each passing second.

Spencer's usually expressive eyes were guarded, his hands fidgeting nervously in his lap. He had always been a man of logic and reason, but in that moment, his vulnerability was palpable.

"I think it's for the best," he had said, his voice barely above a whisper. "I don't want to hold you back anymore."

You had felt your heart shatter at his words, the ache in your chest becoming almost unbearable. You reached out, your hand trembling as you placed it on top of his, seeking some semblance of connection.

"But I don't want to be without you," you had confessed, tears welling up in your eyes. "We've been through so much together, and I can't imagine my life without you in it."

Spencer had looked at you, his expression torn between love and pain. "I know it hurts, but I believe this is the right decision. You deserve someone who can give you the stability and happiness I can't."

His words had pierced through your heart like a knife, but you knew deep down that he was struggling, trying to protect you from the chaos and danger that had consumed his life.

"I love you, Spencer," you had whispered, your voice filled with both sorrow and longing. "And if this is truly what you want, then I'll let you go."

Tears streamed down your face as you held each other for what felt like an eternity, clinging to the remnants of a love that was slipping away. It was a painful goodbye, filled with unspoken promises and aching hearts.

You tried your best to put on a brave face, to mask the exhaustion that had settled deep within you. The weight of it all pressed heavily on your shoulders, leaving you drained and worn.

As you entered the bullpen, the familiar faces of your colleagues greeted you, but they didn't go unnoticed. Their eyes, sharp and observant, scanned your tired features.

Penelope Garcia, with her vibrant spirit and caring nature, was the first to approach you.

"Hey, hun. You okay?" Penelope's voice was filled with concern, her eyes searching yours for any sign of the pain you were hiding.

You managed a weak smile, trying to dismiss her worry. "Yeah, just a little tired. Rough few nights, you know?"

Penelope wasn't convinced, her gaze lingering on you for a moment longer before she nodded. "If you ever need to talk, you know where to find me, right?"

You nodded, grateful for her understanding, before moving toward your desk. The weight of the breakup seemed to hang in the air, and you couldn't help but feel the team's eyes following you, their worry palpable.

Spencer sat at his desk, his eyes fixated on his paperwork but his mind clearly elsewhere. He had been tormented by the decision to let you go, believing it was for your own good. Yet, as he saw you walk through the bullpen, the exhaustion etched onto your face, doubt seeped into his heart.

His thoughts were interrupted by Emily, who approached him quietly, concern lacing her words. "You're not fooling anyone, Reid. You can't ignore what's happening."

Spencer sighed, his eyes flickering in your direction. "I just thought it would be best for both of us."

Emily's gaze softened, her voice gentle. "Sometimes what's best isn't what's easiest. Have you considered that maybe you were wrong?"

The words struck a chord within Spencer, his heart twisting with guilt. He had been so focused on protecting you, he hadn't stopped to consider the consequences of his decision.

Days turned into weeks, and the relentless fatigue that had settled within you grew harder to conceal. The weight of sleepless nights and emotional turmoil had taken its toll, leaving you drained and barely functioning. The once familiar routine of the BAU felt like an uphill battle, every step requiring an immense effort.

One particular day, as the team gathered for an important briefing in the conference room, you found yourself struggling to keep your eyes open. The familiar faces of your colleagues blurred before you, their voices distant and muffled. The exhaustion had become too much to bear.

Penelope, ever perceptive, noticed your struggle. Her eyes flickered with concern, her worry etched across her face. Sensing your distress, she discreetly placed a hand on your arm, a silent gesture of support.

As the meeting progressed, your eyelids grew heavier, each blink lasting longer than the one before. Your head began to droop, and your attempts to fight off sleep became futile. Your body craved rest, demanding respite from the overwhelming fatigue that clung to you like a heavy fog.

Eventually, it became unbearable. You could no longer ignore the exhaustion that consumed you, threatening to engulf your every thought. In a moment of surrender, you mustered the strength to raise your hand, interrupting the flow of conversation.

"Excuse me," you managed to utter, your voice weary and strained. "I'm... I'm really sorry, but I

need a moment. I just... I need to lay down."

The concern in your colleagues' eyes was palpable as they exchanged worried glances.

Hot tears welled up in your eyes, a mix of frustration and weariness. The team understood the toll this ordeal had taken on you, their empathy shining through in their expressions.

Hotch, always the composed leader, nodded understandingly. "Of course, take the time you need. We'll catch you up later."

You offered a weak smile, grateful for their understanding, before making your way out of the conference room. The walls seemed to close in on you, the fatigue weighing you down with every step. You felt a mix of embarrassment and disappointment in yourself, knowing you had reached your limit.

Seeking solace, you made your way to a nearby empty office, its door ajar as if inviting you in. You closed it behind you, shutting out the noise and the curious gazes of your colleagues. The room was dimly lit, the soft glow from a desk lamp casting a warm, comforting ambiance.

With a heavy sigh, you sank into the plush office chair, allowing the weariness to wash over you. You closed your eyes, your mind finally granting you a temporary reprieve from the chaos that had consumed your days. The silence enveloped you, providing a sanctuary of stillness amidst the storm.

Minutes turned into hours as you surrendered to the much-needed rest. In that quiet solitude, you found a brief respite from the relentless fatigue, a moment to recharge and gather your strength. The weight on your shoulders lightened, even if just for a little while.

Eventually, the sound of a gentle knock on the office door roused you from your slumber. You blinked the sleep from your eyes and found Hotch standing there, his expression softened with understanding.

"Feeling better?" he asked, his voice laced with concern.

You nodded, offering him a grateful smile.

"Thank you, Hotch. I'm sorry for interrupting the meeting."

He shook his head, his tone reassuring. "Don't apologize. Your well-being comes first. We're a team, and we'll always support each other."

It was then that Spencer finally mustered the courage to approach you.

He entered the office softly as Hotch made his way outside of it.

"Hey. Can we talk?"

You glanced up, your weary eyes meeting his. Nodding, he leaned on the desk. The silence hung heavy between you, the unspoken words

filling the void.

"I... I'm sorry," Spencer finally spoke, his voice filled with remorse. "You still have trouble sleeping ?", you nodded silently. "I thought I was doing the right thing, but I see now how much I've hurt you."

You sighed, your shoulders slumping as you looked at him. "It wasn't just your decision, Spencer. We both agreed it was for the best."

"I should have fought for us," he admitted, his gaze filled with regret. "I've realized that sometimes what's best for someone isn't always what they need. I miss you, and seeing how exhausted you've been... I can't ignore it anymore."

Tears welled up in your eyes, the emotions you had been holding back threatening to spill over. "I miss you too, Spencer. I've been trying to move on, but it's been so hard."

He kneeled in front of you, his hand reaching out to gently wipe away a tear that escaped down your cheek. "I want to try again, if you're willing. I want to be there for you, to help you through this like I did before."

Your heart fluttered with hope, a glimmer of light breaking through the darkness. Nodding, you found solace in his presence once more. "I'd like that."

Spencer pulled you into a comforting embrace, the weight of the past lifting slightly. In that moment, you both knew that healing would take time, but you were determined to face it together.

As the days went on, the team watched with relief as the exhaustion gradually faded from your eyes. They saw the spark returning, the silent whispers of love and healing mending the broken pieces of your heart. And in the midst of it all, Spencer found redemption in your embrace, vowing to never let you go again.

[ashcal99]

Certain Things : Leah Clearwater V

Chapter Five

"Something about you, It's like an addiction, Hit me with your best shot honey, I've got no reason to doubt you, 'Cause certain things hurt, And you're my only virtue"

Summary: Conner Swan moves to Forks Washington in hopes to help his sister Bella through her breakup with Edward. In hopes to find happiness again. He finds much more.

Warnings: Eventual smut (18+ only), mentions of death, depression, loss, antidepressants, general angst, slow burn

Words: 3.3k

A/N: Comment if I missed any warning or anything plz thnx.

Soundtrack

Previous Chapter

Series Masterlist

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March 20th, 2006

Charlie had reacted as expected when hearing of his daughter’s departure. He was furious to put it bluntly, because even if the girl was eighteen, she was still in high school. She was still his little girl, and he was fed up. Fed up with the girl’s obsession with Edward. Someone who had abandoned her, broken, leaving him to pick up the pieces. Most of all, he was overwhelmed. He had just lost one of his closest friends, having to plan his funeral, and now he had Bella to worry and stress about on top of it all. 

At least Conner was there though. The son had offered to help with the planning of the funeral, hoping to help relieve some of his father’s stress. He had received a message from Alice, how she got his number he wasn’t sure, informing him of the trios flight schedule. They would be returning late that night, but would miss Harry’s funeral. 

Conner stood, looking into the small bathroom mirror, straightening the collar of his black dress shirt. It was early in the morning, and he had a long day ahead of himself. He wasn’t quite sure how he was feeling, the last funeral he had been to being Mia’s. He supposed he would find out as the day drew on. He took in a deep breath, shaking his thoughts from his mind. Stepping from the bathroom, he reached to fasten the buttons of his shirt cuffs. 

He retreated down the stairs, slightly dragging his feet. Turning the corner, his father came into view. Charlie stood, leaning against the counter sipping his coffee, a far off expression grazing his features. The sound of Conner’s footsteps entering the kitchen caught his attention. He sighed, thankful to have the man there to lean on during this whole ordeal.

Conner stepped up to counter, grabbing a mug from the cupboard, pouring himself a cup of coffee. Taking a big gulp, in turn scalding the roof of his mouth, he spoke. “I have to run by the florist to pick up the arrangements on my way to the venue, but you can go ahead and head over to the Clearwater’s to pick up Sue and her kids.” He said.

Charlie grunted in acknowledgment, nodding towards his son. “After the service, I’ll run to the diner to pick up the catering, before we head back to the house.” Conner added. 

Charlie stared at his son’s profile, taking the man in. “Thank you, Con. I don’t know what I would do without you.” He said graciously. 

Conner turned, fully facing the man, taking another drink from the mug. “Probably crash and burn.” He joked lightheartedly, sending the man a smirk. 

Charlie scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Smartass.” He muttered, raising his cup to his lips.

Conner laughed lightly, taking his coffee,  and quickly chugging the rest of the cup. Setting the empty mug in the sink, he walked to the front door, grabbing his truck keys form the hook on the wall. Once seated in his truck, he sighed heavily, letting his shoulders drop. Today was going to be difficult, he knew this, and he tried to prepare himself for the inevitable nightmares that would follow. 

He ran his fingers thorough his tousled hair, gathering the courage to start the ignition. Twisting the key, he pulled the truck in reverse, backing it out of the driveway slowly.

——————

The tires of his truck gradually rolled to a stop as the funeral venue came into view. The parking lot was empty, minus the familiar police cruiser. Conner sucked in a breath, stepping out from the cab of the truck towards the bed. He lowered the tailgate, grabbing an arm full of flower arrangements. He made his way to the doors of the venue, his father meeting him at the entrance. “Thanks again, Con. You’ve been such a great help already.” Charlie said, patting a hand on the man’s back.

Conner sent his father a sympathetic smile. “Of course, Dad. Just want to be there for you.” He said lightly. He continued walking through the large metal doorway, taking in the view of the room. Pews lined both sides of the narrow isle, leading to the front of the large room. At the end of the isle sat the casket, a small wooden podium directly in front. He gulped, taking in the sight, his heart plummeting into his stomach. He blinked, telling himself to pull his shit together. 

His feet took him forwards, seemingly of their own accord. Stopping in front of the large shiny black casket, he gently laid one of the large arrangements directly on top. The pale pink of the roses, leaving a stark contrast against the dark wood.

Minutes ticked by as Conner brought in the remaining flowers, placing them neatly around the room. A few people had arrived since he had gotten to the venue. Billy and Jacob sat towards the front, talking to Charlie and sue, and more people were slowly trickling in. Conner laid down the last of the flowers delicately, standing upright, brushing off his shirt. He sauntered over to the group, taking in the faces around the room. 

Two tall figures sat to the right of the isle, a male and female. Seth and Leah, he assumed. He looked towards the two, taking in the view. They sat to their backs to him. The boy sitting a few inches taller than the woman, he fidgeted in his seat, short jagged hairs dusting the base of his neck. The woman however, sat completely still, staring directly at the blank wall ahead. Her short hair hung loosely on her head, ending just before her tanned tense shoulders.

He ripped his lingering gaze away from the woman, setting himself next the group of familiar people on the left side of the isle. Quickly, his mind began to stray, his surrounding blurring into the background of his thoughts.

——————

Leah’s head throbbed as thoughts swirled in her mind. Everything had so been overwhelming the past few days. She hadn’t noticed anything different leading up to that night. They were just having a normal family dinner, the four of them. She had snapped at Seth for something he had said, her mother commenting on her short temper. She had felt so much anger in that moment, such a simple comment pushing her over the edge. 

A blinding rage had filled her, bursting through her skin as her body morphed. Ripping and pulling, overwhelming pain filled her senses. It had taken her a moment to realize something had changed. She looked around panicked, seeing the shocked expressions on everyone’s faces. The her father slumped in his seat, grasping frantically at his chest. His eyes rolled to the back of his head, body falling from his seat in what seemed like slow motion. Then Seth had phased as well. 

As Leah sat in the busy funeral home, the memories of that night replayed over and over. Her father was dead because of her. She had felt like an imposter sitting there, people offering her condolences, because she was the reason they were all there wasn’t she? Harry would be alive if it wasn’t for her. 

Everyone in the pack had been completely shocked after they found out what had happened. As far as they were aware, it wasn’t even possible for a female to phase. This was a new thing to them all. The waters were completely uncharted. Now they had a billion follow up questions. Could she have children now? If not, could she even imprint? Seeing as they had all assumed the point of imprinting was to ultimately further the bloodline, they had no idea.

On top of all of this, she couldn’t even be mad at Sam anymore. Not now that she knew the truth. Initially, she had resented the man for breaking her heart. But now, she knew that he had no control over the situation. In truth, knowing he had imprinted on Emily had almost felt worse than thinking he had hurt her on purpose. Now she had nowhere to direct her anger but at herself. 

Leah looked up to the podium as her mother’s voice curried throughout the room, pulling her from her thoughts. Her ears rung as the sound pierced her mind. Her mother smiled lightly to the crowd, thanking them all for showing up. 

Leah looked around slowly, taking in the many people in the room. Her heart ached seeing the many people who had loved her father. She scanned her eyes across the sea of people, recognizing every face until her eyes fell on one in particular. Her eyes wandered along his features, drinking him in. Smooth pale skin stretched across his angular jawline. His dark brown hair fanned along his forehead, his eyebrows drawn together in concern. His blue eyes shown brightly as he stared up at her mother, taking in her every word. 

She blinked, eyes darting away from the man, realizing she had been staring. He had been sitting next to Charlie swan, one of her father’s close friends. Charlie had mentioned having a son earlier in the morning when he picked the family up from their home. Her forehead scrunched up as she tried to remember what he had said his name was. Chase? No. Chris? No. Conner, she realized. The name lingered in her mind as she attempted to clear the image of his face from her brain.

——————

The funeral had gone well, all things considered. He had tried to keep his focus on the words said by whoever had stepped up to the podium at the moment, attempting to distract himself from his building anxiety. His mind screamed at him to run from the building, but he had remained planted on the uncomfortable pew, determined to stick by his father’s side. 

Now he sat in his truck, hands gripping the steering wheel so tight his knuckles were turning white. He sat staring into space, trying to muster up the strength to exit the cab of the vehicle. He knew he needed to enter the house, as the food was growing colder by the minute, but the sight of the cars lining the street caused unease to settle in the pit of his stomach. 

The man’s father had planned to hold the reception of the funeral at their house, in hopes to ease the stress of Harry’s family. Conner had never done too well with crowds, having inherited the trait from his father. The fact that this crowd would be intruding on his home, his safe space, definitely didn’t help his anxiety about the situation. 

Shaking himself from his thoughts, he pulled in all of the strength he could gather and started towards the house, hauling the steaming tin foil covered platters. Making his way to the house, he heard the low murmur of people talking inside. As he arrived to the front door, it suddenly burst open, narrowly missing the man. 

Leah swung the door open on its hinges, seething with anger. She had just ended a rather unpleasant conversation with her mother regarding the appearance of a certain ex-boyfriend of hers. It was bad enough that she had to see the man everyday now, him being the alpha of the pack, but for fuck’s sake. 

She expected to at least be able to avoid the man for one day, wanting to morn her father in peace. That wasn’t too much to ask, was it? Apparently, it was, because there he stood in the living room of the small house, the rest of the pack trickling in behind. She knew her anger had been getting the best of her as of late, it being an unfortunate side effect of phasing, but she was sure she would’ve been just as angry even if she was still a normal human. But she wasn’t and that was the whole reason that everybody was there, crammed into the small building. 

She moved to exit the house, almost running face first into a wall of shiny silver. She stopped in her tracks, taking in the sight before her. Strong arms wrapped around stacks of food trays, pale fingers curling around the edges of the containers. Whoever it was, his face was hidden from view behind the food. She moved swiftly to the side, leaving the door open for the man to walk through, muttering a small apology as she sauntered away.

Conner furrowed his eyebrows hearing the soft utterance of her words. Her voice burned in his mind as he turned his head to see who the mystery person was. He watched as the woman’s slender frame carried her to the end of the driveway, her long tanned legs moving swiftly, short black dress flowing in the wind, her head hung low. She grunted, dropping to the curb, bringing her head in her hands. 

He shook his head, clearing his focus, carrying the heaps of food to the kitchen of the house. Setting the food down, ripping the tin foil away, he moved out of the way of the buffet of food, allowing people to reach the servings. Members of the pack swarmed the trays of food, fighting over their positions in line. Taking in the crowds strung along them home, he found Jacob in the corner of the living room, moping with a frown on his face. He walked towards the teen, slapping a hand on his back. “How you holding up, Jake?” He asked. 

Jacob turned to the man pouting like a kicked puppy. “How do you think?” He answered curtly. Conner nodded his head in understanding. He imagined the boy had been ridden with stress the past few days as he could relate. Knowing that Bella had fled to Italy, in which she had never been before, to surround her self with deadly monsters hadn’t been something easy to cope with. 

The man sighed, hanging his head in defeat. “I know, nervous is an understatement.” He said. “If it helps, they’re on a plane back right now.” He justified.

The boy tensed under his fingers. “They?” He asked. Receiving a nod of the head from Conner in response, his back went rigged. The Cullen’s were coming back to Forks. This was bad news for them all. He raised his eyes, scanning the crowd of people. Finally, his eyes found Sam. He had to warn the pack. He excused himself, rushing to the leader of the group. 

Conner blinked rapidly, watching the wolf retreat to his pack. Sighing, he looked around the room. Deciding he was no longer needed, he made his way to his bedroom. 

He needed a small break from the chaos of the day. He plopped on his bed, pulling the chain from under his shirt. The action had become a coping mechanism for him over the past few months. Finding comfort in the feel of the small rings digging into his palm. 

He closed his eyes, taking deep breaths, trying to ground himself. The overwhelming sense of death surrounding the day had gotten to him. He would go back down soon, he told himself, but for now he just needed a moment to recoup. 

The sudden buzz of conversation, broke him from his thoughts. He turned, looking out of his bedroom window, he eyes landing on the pack. They looked to be having a very serious conversation, feeling the tension radiate from the group. His eyes ran over the group, attempting to analyze their faces. His eyes fell to one face in particular, the one female of the group. His chest tightened, constricting his expanding lungs. 

Her eyebrows were drawn together in concern, big brown eyes focused on the words leaving Jacob’s mouth. Her plump pink lips fell open as anger crossed her futures. A bright pink brushed her high cheekbones, a fire lighting behind her beautiful eyes. Conner blinked slowly, pulling his eyes away from the sun kissed face of the woman. His heart pounded in his chest, confusion eating away at his mind. 

What the hell had that been? Maybe he was just sleep deprived? He hadn’t gotten a good night’s sleep since at least Friday night, and if he was being honest with himself, probably closer to a year and a half. Surely that was the explanation he was looking for. It made perfect sense, he knew he would start to lose it eventually. He shook the thoughts from his head, turning his gaze to the ceiling. His eyes drooping in exhaustion. 

—————— 

Conner’s eyes fluttered open, attempting to clear his foggy brain. He looked around the dark room, seeing the illuminated numbers of his alarm clock. Only a few hours had passed since he had gone upstairs, but the sun had set outside and the murmuring downstairs had ceased. 

He grunted, sitting up from the mattress. His dress shirt stuck to his skin with slight moisture. He figured he probably should’ve changed before falling asleep, but given that he wasn’t planning to do so, he shrugged it off along with the dampened material. Changing quickly into the comfortable confines of some forest green sweatpants and a simple black tee, he made his way down the stairs to help with clean up. He stopped in his tracks, spotting slim silhouette of the woman on the couch of the living room.

He stood for a moment, staring at the Quileute. “Conner?” He heard Charlie say from the kitchen, shaking the man from his concentration. He turned, following the voice of his father.

Leah looked up from her spot on the couch, spotting the retreating figure of the older Swan sibling. She stared after the man, taking in the small details of his back. The way his muscles tensed under the thin black material of his shirt, strong biceps peeking out from the cuffs of his sleeves, veins running down to the backs of his palms. She didn’t exactly understand why he was so captivating to her, but there she sat, eyes burning holes into the wall he vanished behind just seconds previous. 

Her mother spoke, breaking Leah from her thoughts. “Leah? Come to the kitchen.” She started. “I want to introduce you to Charlie’s son.” She ushered her daughter to stand. Leah pulled herself to her feet, smoothing down the cotton skirt of her dress. She shuffled forward, nerves buzzing as she tucked the strands of her hair behind her ears. 

Conner stood in the room over, drying the remaining plates that his father had cleaned. “Thanks again, Con, for all of your help. You’re a godsend.” He said to the man, trying to express his full gratitude. 

Footsteps tracked into the room, a voice interrupting the conversation between the two men. “Conner, I’d like you to meet my daughter.” Sue started, catching the attention of the man. He turned, throwing the damp towel over his shoulder. “This is Leah. Leah, this is Conner.” She stated. 

Conner’s eyes shifted over to the taller woman, his blue eyes meeting her brown. And his lungs stopped working. His heart skipped a beat. He stared into the warmth of her eyes, his heart beginning to race rapidly. 

Leah stared at the man in front of her. The blue in his eyes sucked her in, the world stopping around them. And suddenly, her gravity shifted, everything else vanishing. It was him. Conner. It was only him now. She sucked in a sudden breath, her heart feeling as if would burst from being so full.

And he spoke, his voice sending shivers down her spine, goosebumps over her skin. “Hi, Leah. It’s nice to meat you.” He said politely, sticking out his hand for her to shake. She gulped heavily, his eyes bearing deep into her soul.

Shit.

She just imprinted.

Next Chapter

[markleesthighs]

good 4 u

pairing: guitarist/singer!y/n (fem) x badboy!jeno

genre: angst, fluff (if you squint), smut, strangers to lovers to enemies

song: good 4 u by Olivia Rodrigo

a/n: mentions of cheating, breakup, depression, underaged drinking (please be safe!!) picture/GIF from @pureboyjun​

Everyone told you to watch out, everyone warned you about him, Lee Jeno. You and Jeno weren’t in the same friend group, you were as what society called an “art freak” with streaks of colors in your hair and black eyeliner. You also always kept guitar picks with you, always wanting to sneak into the music room and practice on the electric guitar. The wannabe’s compared you to an Avril Lavigne-type girl. Your best friends were also your bandmates, supportive of you and your dream, unlike your parents. You and your parents had a deal, as long as you kept good grades you could continue to play music as a “hobby.” 

You also worked at a music store, which is how you ran into Lee Jeno. He was looking for vinyl of a specific artist which happened to also be one of your favorites so you knew exactly where it was. He thanked you and you hoped that would be the last you’d see him. But he came in every day to talk to you and eventually had the courage to approach your lunch table. All your bandmates glared at Lee Jeno, knowing his reputation and his motives. Once he left they’d all trash him for trying to talk to you. 

“y/n you shouldn’t really associate with him.”

“Yeah, all of his ‘fangirls’ will tear you to shreds.”

“Jeno hits and runs, you better stop talking to him before it turns into something dangerous. You’ll only get hurt.”

You didn’t think much of their words, since Jeno wasn’t really your type anyway. There’s no way you could ever fall for him. Oh boy, were you wrong. Jeno went out of his way to swoon you in any way he could. He’d walk you home at night, visit you in the music room and at work, he’d even invite you to his lunch table where you’d be met with his other ‘bad boy’ friends. He would get you your favorite coffee, just the way you like it, and get your lunch order so you wouldn’t wait in line. All of this attention grabbed the attention of his fangirls, constantly threatening you about how “Jeno is mine!” and bullshit like that. You honestly didn’t care because you reassured them you and Jeno were not dating. 

That was until he invited you to a party, saying that you could meet his one friend that was also into music and could help you break out into the music industry. You agreed, excited to meet someone in the industry. When you arrived at the party, you met his friend who worked at Columbia Records, you bonded and everything got his contact information in hopes of getting an internship. Jeno met up with you again, asking you to repay him, in a game of fear pong (beer pong with truth or dare elements). You agreed, joining him on his team against Johnny and his girlfriend. One of the dares you guys had to do was make out for one minute or drink. You were about to drink when Jeno grabbed your face and started to make out with you. 

God, did he taste good. His lips were soft brushing against yours the taste of beer and light cigarette smoke made his lips only more addictive. Everyone watching was hooting and hollering at the two of you. Jeno licked the bottom of your lip, which you opened your mouth to let his tongue enter, causing your tongues to fight for dominance. Jeno’s ultimately dominated and touched your throat. You gave a small moan which only made Jeno kiss you harder. Johnny coughed causing you two to stop. 

“You realize you two were making out for like 5 minutes right?” Johnny laughed.

You pulled away but Jeno held on to you by your waist. 

“What can I say, Suh, she tastes really good, I wanted to savor it.”

That made you blush. You guys continued the game and you and Jeno won, out of excitement (and slight intoxication) you kissed Jeno. He looked at you in shock and you apologized before he kissed you back. Since that game, you two were attached to the hip the whole night. Jeno didn’t feel safe letting you go home so he let you sleep with him in a bedroom upstairs. When you guys were tucking in for the night he wrapped his arm around you pulling you closer to him. 

“y/n, I love you.”

You giggled “You’re drunk Jeno...get some rest.”

“No, I mean it.”

“You’re really funny.”

“Do you need me to prove it to you?” He spoke in a deep voice, shifting his body to hover above yours. 

“If I didn’t love you do you think I’d be feeling like this right now?” Jeno whispered into your ear. When he leaned down you felt his member rock hard against your thigh. 

“J-jeno, you’re confused, do you know what you’re doing right now?”

“If you want me to stop I’ll stop. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, I can take care of myself in the bathroom if you don’t want to do it.”

As Jeno was moving off your body you wrapped your arms around his body to pull him back.

“N-no, stay, please.”

“Are you sure y/n, you sure you want to do this?”

“Y-yes.” Little did you know that you would regret sleeping with Lee Jeno. 

Jeno kissed your lips softly, knowing how tired you both are. You felt his member twitching with every kiss. He moved on to your neck, leaving soft kisses and a purple mark on your collarbone. He moved all the way down your stomach down to your flower. He kissed your thighs and ate you out vigorously, he was sucked down on your clit while fingering you. You were trying to hide your moans but Jeno hit your sweet spot almost every single time, causing you to not be able to contain yourself. You were tugging and pulling at his har which also caused him to moan. You were about to climax when Jeno pulled away which caused you to whine and pout. Jeno kissed your pouty lips as he pulled out a condom from the drawer (be safe kids!) and tore it open and put it on his member. 

He looked at you and asked again for your reassurance and you nodded. 

“I’ll be slow and gentle I promise.”

He slowly slid into you as you clenched around him you squeezed your eyes from the pain, he was a lot bigger than you thought. Jeno moans harmoniously along with you as he waited for you to let him move. 

“P-please m-move..”

Jeno smiled as with every thrust he kissed you, he made you feel comfortable in his arms. 

“F-faster, please...”

“What’s my name?”

“J-jeno! Please!”

“That’s daddy to you.” He said as he thrusted harder inside of you.

“Y-yes, daddy, please go faster.”

“Good girl.”

Jeno pushed harder and faster as you moaned louder and louder, finally climaxing with Jeno. Jeno removed the condom and threw it in the trash as he walked to the bathroom and cleaned you up along with a few kisses. 

“Hey Jeno?” Jeno turned to look at you.

“I love you too.”

After that night you and Jeno were going steady for a couple weeks until he ghosted you. He stopped talking to you and his friends would laugh at you or Jeno would tell you to go back to your old table. You heard their conversation as you were walking back. 

“I can’t believe Jeno got her to sleep with him.”

“Easiest fucking $100 he’s ever made.”

 When you went back to your bandmates you were broken. Endless nights of tears and suicidal thoughts swamped your mind. Why me? Why did I have to fall for his stupid trap? He only wanted me for some cheap cash huh? How can he just move on so easily? Did nothing we have mean anything? Well screw that and screw you, Lee Jeno. 

“Hey y/n?” One of your bandmates asked. 

“Battle of the bands' championship for the school is coming up, do you know what song we are going to cover?”

You looked at Jeno. “Oh, I fucking know what song we are going to sing.” 

You and your bandmates got the sheet music for good 4 u by Olivia Rodrigo and practiced it until it became natural for everyone. Finally, the battle of the bands' championship occurred. It was hosted by your school to fundraise for the music program and scholarships. Before your group came up, you all huddled, and they all gave you the words of encouragement you needed to perform in front of Lee Jeno. 

“Sing it from your heart bitch.”

“Kill him with those words.”

“Make him feel like the shit head he is.”

As they hyped you up, you felt much better as you all walked out to stand on the stage. You saw Jeno in the crowd with his new supposed girlfriend. You began playing the first notes on the guitar. 

Well, good for you, I guess you moved on really easily You found a new girl and it only took a couple weeks Remember when you said that you wanted to give me the world?

You stared right into his eyes singing every lyric, letting him know what a scumbag he was for dating someone new in a few weeks when he confessed to you after he fucked your brains out. What kind of a person does that?

Now you can be a better man for your brand new girl

You raised your hand and pointed right at him and his new girl who looked like every other bitch who wanted to get with Jeno, you couldn’t compare to her, you had to show Jeno he made a mistake leaving you for $100. You wanted to make those $100 worth nothing because he left you for someone who’s only worth $1. 

Well, good for you, you look happy and healthy, not me If you ever cared to ask Good for you, you're doin' great out there without me, baby God, I wish that I could do that

You sang you heart out to those lyrics almost feeling emotional. How could Jeno sit there with a smile on his face while you almost crying during this set. You then realized Lee Jeno is an emotionless piece of shit. But just this once, you wanted to see him cry. 

I've lost my mind, I've spent the night Cryin' on the floor of my bathroom But you're so unaffected, I really don't get it But I guess good for you

It wasn’t fair that you cried endless tears, while Jeno came to school with a smile on his face. Your eyes would be dark and baggy from all the crying and endless sleep, but he came to school happier and brighter than ever, fuck you Lee Jeno. 

It's like we never even happened Baby, what the fuck is up with that?

Everyone forgot about you and Jeno the moment he dropped you. How come everyone took his side and let this slide past everyone? Did no one care about how you felt? How humiliated you were? How can someone forget something like that?

And good for you, it's like you never even met me Remember when you swore to God I was the only Person who ever got you? Well, screw that and screw you You will never have to hurt the way you know that I do

Jeno and you became strangers, nobodies, to each other just back at square one, how did this happen? He would complain about how his friends would make fun of his music tastes and hobbies, making you think you were the only one who understood him and supported him. You wanted to make him feel guilt and shame for toying with you. 

Maybe I'm too emotional But your apathy's like a wound in salt Maybe I'm too emotional Or maybe you never cared at all

You’ve thought about how you were the problem, that Jeno didn’t want you for you. He would act reassuring when you were in bed, but once he left you, he brushed off every concern you had. He never had any feelings for you. He never cared about you. 

Before the final chorus you pulled out a picture of you and Jeno printed out on paper and one of your bandmates set it on fire. The picture of Jeno’s face starting to well up with tears when everyone in the gym started to stare at him. It was music to your ears. 

Good for you, you're doin' great out there without me, baby Like a damn sociopath

You were now crying in the last chorus not out of sadness but out of joy, finally, Lee Jeno knows what it’s like to have his heartbroken. All of the other girls and guys were screaming and singing along with you, you were jumping and high-fiving all of them, rocking out to the music. Your mascara was dripping down your cheeks and you looked emotional and powerful. 

Well, good for you, I guess you moved on really easily

As you played the last chord on your guitar everyone was cheering. You thanked everyone for the performance as your group hugged your bandmates thanking them for getting you through the performance. You turned to look at Jeno one last time to see him crying. It was beautiful. 

good 4 u, Lee Jeno. 

[weelittleweasley]

what once was mine (g.w.)

prompt as requested by anon: the breakup between you and george weasley was abrupt and shocking. but after you had healed from it, you started dating an unlikely match, draco malfoy. when george hears of your new partner, he decides to send a letter, not to you, but to draco explaining some things. 

pairing: george weasley x fem!reader

warnings: mentions of death, depression, angst

word count: 4.7k

a/n: i literally took this prompt and fucking SPRINTED with it. i’m so sorry i literally RAN WITH IT and i am very very proud of it. an anon told me that they found this request on here from another blog. if anyone knows whos idea this was originally and put it out there, please let me know so i can give them the credit they deserve! 

It was after the war and George was in shambles. Fred, his brother, his twin, his business partner, his best friend, was dead. The image of his dead brother’s body haunted his mind when he closed his eyes. George refused to believe he was gone for good. Two days ago he saw him sitting on the couch of their childhood home, there was no way that he just disappeared like that. It wasn’t fair. The world was playing a cruel joke on him. Was it karma? Was he paying the price for action he didn’t know he committed? Why Fred? 

George just stood in what once was their shared flat in the kitchen, leaning over the kitchen island, head in his hands. Pain and sadness possessed his chest as he tried to not cry for surely the hundredth time that day. Crying wasn’t helping him; it was just making him more sad. George sat up and took a look around their flat, Fred’s things still untouched from the last time he was in the flat. George was afraid to move it, thinking that Fred put those things in those places for a reason and if George touched them or moved them, it would disrupt something. He wished he could freeze time and look at the apartment as it was in this moment, Fred and his thing’s in the apartment, sprawled about the couch and table. A picture of Fred and George in front of the joke shoppe when it first opened, both hugging each other and smiling. All of their dreams came true that day. If he only knew it would be stripped from them a few years later. What a cruel, cruel world. 

His thoughts were interrupted when there were three light knocks on the door. “Georgie? It’s me...please let me in,” your sweet voice called from outside. George’s heart leaped at the sound of your voice and his eyes filled with tears. He knew what he had to do, but he didn’t want to do it. He didn’t have the strength to do it. 

With a sigh, he walked to the door and opened it up to reveal you there, eyes soft when they looked at George. Your heart broke at the sight of George. He was destroyed. “Darling,” you whisper as you look at him. George just gives you a sad smile before motioning for you to come in. 

As George closed the door, you notice that the apartment hadn’t changed one bit since he left it last. You sigh, knowing George too well. “I’m going to move back home for a while to live with Mum and Dad and my siblings for a while. We all need each other right now,” George rubs his face as your heart shatters. You knew how much having his own place, running the joke shoppe, and living the life he planned meant to him. Now since his world has shattered, his dreams had to be paused. 

“Of course,” you shake your head, understanding completely. “And you know you can stay with me if you want as well. My door is always open for you, George.” George’s heart breaks at your words as he gulps, trying to force his tears away. “I want you to take care of yourself...I love you, George. I always have and I always will.”

George takes a deep breath in and closes his eyes, rubbing his face before running his hands through his hair. “(Y/N), we should talk about all of this,” George tries to start. There was no easy way to word this. There was no easy way to do this. There was no way that George could do this and keep you in his life. It was one or the other. 

When George says this, your heart immediately sinks. Those words strung together only meant one thing and you weren’t ready for that. Even though George was going through the unimaginable, you were also suffering. You lost family and friends of your own and George was the only stable thing in your life right now. It was selfish, but right now, you need George to help you through this and you knew he needed you too. This was all true. “George, please, don’t,” you speak, voice cracking, tears filling your eyes.

The sight of you made George feel weak. He turned away to not look at his love crying. This all was so painful. “We need to break up. We both need to take time for ourselves. To heal,” George tries to rationalize with you. You let a sob escape your lips as you cover your mouth to muffle them. George sneaks a look at you and he instantly hates what he said. Your eyes were flooded with tears as they spilled over and streamed down your cheeks. “I am damaged goods right now. I can’t let that effect you.”

“I want to be there for you,” you whisper to George. “I want to help you through this. I want to be someone that you can rely on like you have all these years. Why are you letting me go now when we need each other most?” you grab his hands, holding them close to your heart. George steps closer to you, pressing his body into yours and you cry into his chest. He wraps his arms around you tightly, as if to not let you go when that’s exactly what he was doing. 

George sniffles, “Because I don’t want you to see me enter a dark place. I know it’s bound to happen. But I don’t want you to see me like that. I’m scared that once you do, that’s all you’ll see me as.”

You look up at the tall man. He had grown up before your eyes. George always had a childlike mysticism and a young heart. But this war made him realize that he wasn’t invincible. He wasn’t a student at Hogwarts like he was years prior. George was a man. “I will never think of you like that. I will always think of you as the love of my life,” you tell him as you brush away George’s tears, him leaning into your touch. “But I understand if you need time. If that’s what you need, I respect your wishes.”

The two of you had let each other go and that was the icing on the cake. You didn’t hold back anymore. You let the sob rake through your body, shaking you as George held onto you tightly, crying silently as the two of you held onto each other for dear life. Your face was hot with tears and your stomach felt this sick. This was never your plan. You had such big plans. George had promised marriage months ago after the war was over. He had promised to whisk you away from your normal life and give you a life you had dreamed of. George wanted to take you around the world, showing you the beauty of it. But those plans were now empty promises. Hollow shells of what could have been. 

George looks at you, pulling your face in his hands. “We will be alright. I promise you,” he speaks passionately. “If we can survive a war, we can survive this.” You breathe in jagged breaths. “You are going to live a life that is much better than I could have ever given you.”

“Don’t you dare say that,” you sob.

George shakes his head, “I want you to find someone who can give you the world. I have no doubt that you will find that person and live a very happy life.”

Pushing his hands away from your face lightly, you speak, “No matter who I find, I will never love them like I love you.” George’s heart breaks. “I will never love or care for someone as fiercely as I do for you, George Weasley. That will never change. I will never stop loving you.”

“And I will never stop loving you,” George repeats, pressing your foreheads together. “You will always be mine.”

“And you will always be mine,” you promise him.

-----------

A year had past and much had changed.

You had a job now as a Healer, taking care of the sick and hurt. Your job let you help people like you’ve always wanted. It was stressful, but the amount of joy it brought you was immeasurable. Your job allowed you to live comfortably in a new flat in the heart of London, overlooking the busy city. 

The biggest change was who came into your life. After you and George’s split, you spent a lot of your time as a single woman, six months, focusing on your career and personal goals. You worked hard and most times, worked to distract yourself from the fact that you missed George Weasley something fierce. But as you distracted yourself, you didn’t expect to meet someone new. Rather, re-meet someone.

Seeing Draco Malfoy again was like meeting a whole new person. Draco had turned over a new leaf completely. He was kinder and more gentle. He claimed to have seen the error of his ways when he was a teenager in Hogwarts and had sworn to be a better person after the war when he saw how much hurt and pain his family had put others in. Draco now worked as a Healer like you did at St. Mungo’s. 

What you didn’t expect most of all was to fall in love with Draco. It took you both a while to say something to the other in fear that the other person felt differently. But after a long shift at work and a glass of wine, you both had confessed your feelings to the other. From that moment on, you and Draco’s relationship progressed quickly. Within weeks, you and Draco lived in a new flat, bigger and better than your last in a beautiful part of London. Draco spoiled you tremendously with material things and beautiful vacations. When you had told Draco your dream was to travel the world, he had booked flights everywhere. Throughout Europe to America to Asia, everywhere, you just say the word. Life felt like a dream. Draco gave you everything that you could ever ask for; love, stability, and happiness. 

You loved Draco immensely; it hurt your heart how you loved him. However, there was still a piece of your heart that belonged to that red headed boy. You thought of George Weasley often. How was he? Was he better? Is he happy now? Did he find someone new? Did he make them happy? Did they make him happy? But before you got sentimental, you often cast those thoughts from your mind. 

After another six months of dating Draco, you found yourself wearing a large diamond ring on your left ring finger. You were engaged. Draco had done it when you were in Paris on vacation. You told him you didn’t want a huge romantic gesture, but that still didn’t stop Draco. You were on a park in a small park, but down the path, there were small lights in trees, a small speaker that played your favorite song, and rose petals everywhere that spelt out, Marry Me. You said yes before Draco could even say anything, jumping on him, covering his face in kisses. You were getting married to your love. 

The news of your engagement spread very quickly. You wanted everyone to know that you were happy and in love with Draco. Not to mention, you wanted to get married right away. There was no time to waste. Why wait if you were so certain that you both loved each other and wanted to spend eternity together?

Draco laughed as you happily wrote and send out save the dates to your family and friends. “Darling,” he chuckled. “We’ve been engaged for two weeks! You’re sending out invitations already?” 

He sat next to you on the couch, placing a chaste kiss to your cheek. “It’s not an invitation, just a save the date,” you roll your eyes. “Invitations are being send out in another week,” you speak, making Draco laugh. “I just don’t want to waste time. I want to get our lives started as husband and wife as soon as possible.”

“That sounds perfect to me,” he smiles as you kiss his lips gently. 

You continue to seal envelopes and send out save the dates to everyone. And by everyone, you meant everyone.

--------

Molly Weasley stood in the kitchen, cooking an early dinner for her family as the rest of the Weasley family was scattered throughout the house. Ron and Ginny argued over quidditch as they usually did on nights like this, Harry laughing as he watched his best friend and new wife arguing over the beloved sport. Hermione helped Molly cut vegetables in the kitchen while George and Arthur fixed a leak in the sink upstairs. 

Sounds of cacophony filled the house, but halted when an owl flew through the window, dropping an envelope in Molly Weasley’s house. “What’s that?” Ron asked. 

“Dunno,” said Molly. “It’s addressed to all of us.” She shows her family the ivory envelope that has Weasley Family written in cursive. Molly opens up the message and starts to read it out to herself. “Oh my stars!”

Hermione looks over Molly’s shoulder and reads the letter and gasps, “She’s getting married!” Hermione giggles as she looks to Molly who beams.

“Hello? Who is getting married? Would you mind sharing?” Ron asks, not liking being left out of the merriment. Molly hands him the invitation as Ron reads it out to the rest of the group. “Dear Weasley Family and Potter,” Ron laughs as Harry rolls his eyes. “Please save the date. On the fourteenth of May at 6pm sharp, join us for the wedding of (Y/N) (Y/L/N) and Draco Malfoy.” Everyone’s eyes widen when Ron finished reading. “Bloody hell.”

Ginny looks to Harry, “I didn’t that their relationship was that serious.” Harry shrugs, not knowing the answer either. When Draco told Harry that you two were seeing other, he didn’t think much of it. No reflection on either of you, but Harry assumed that you would always find your way back to George.

Ron scoffs, “You didn’t think it was that serious? I didn’t know they were together!” Hermione rolls her eyes. “You knew?! You didn’t tell me!”

Hermione defends herself, “What do you mean? We had them over for dinner a few months ago! What did you think they were? Just friends living together?”

Ron rolls his eyes and leans back in his chair, knowing that he was in the wrong. “Well, that’s beside the point. I’m glad they’re happy. They deserve it after everything they have been though.”

“Agreed. A wedding! How exciting!” Hermione gushes as Molly smiles beside her.

“Whose getting married?” George’s voice calls out as he walks down the stairs, Arthur not far behind. 

Everyone freezes when they see George, not knowing who should break the news that the girl he was in love with months ago was getting married. Ron immediately leaves the room, not wanting anything to do with the situation, Harry following suit. Molly, Ginny, and Hermione all look at each other, silently deciding who should tell him. “Um,” Ginny starts. “We received a letter. That, um, Draco Malfoy is getting married.”

George nods his head, “That’s good news. I hope the bloke is well. Who is the poor gal getting married to him?”

Ginny gulps and looks to her mother to do the hard part. Molly sighs and looks at her son. “Draco is marrying (Y/N), George. They’re getting married on the 14th of May,” Molly hands him the invitation that rests on the coffee table.

George’s heart sinks to his stomach and his face goes pale. There was no way that this was happening. Sure, you two had broken up a while back, but that didn’t mean that George was over you. George missed you with every passing moment, his heart yearning for you, your gaze, your touch. He read the invite feverishly, running his fingers over what was clearly your penmanship. “May 14th? That’s in two weeks,” he looks to his mother who looks at him sadly. George looks back at the invite. “And she invited all of us? She invited me?” 

Everyone just looks at each other, not knowing what to say. Ginny sighs, “I’m so sorry, Georgie.”

He nods his head, “Yeah, me too. Excuse me.” George drops the invitation and walks up the stairs to his room. It was at times like this where he wished Fred was here to comfort him. Fred would know exactly what to say or what to do. But Fred wasn’t here. 

George laid on his bed, staring at the ceiling, wondering how you could fall in love so fast and get married in the blink of an eye. You and George were together for four years. You and Draco were together for six months. He didn’t know you like George did. He didn’t know you to the extent that George did. George knew everything about you; what you loved, what you hated, what made you tick, what kept you up at night. And that’s when it hit him.

George sprung from his bed and to his desk, grabbing a piece of parchment and his quill and began.

----------

Draco sat next to you in bed as you read quietly to yourselves when there was a tap at the window in the next room. “I’ll get it, love,” Draco said, rising from the bed. You smiled at your fiancee as he left the room to check on what was going on.

In the living room, an owl perched on the window sill with a letter in his mouth. “Thank you,” Draco smiled at the owl as it shook its head before flying away. Draco looks at the letter and sees his name on the red envelope. Draco slowly opened the envelope to see a folded up piece of parchment. As he unfolded it, he began to read the contents of the letter.

Malfoy,

First off, I would like to offer my congratulations to you on your engagement to (Y/N). I can only imagine that you two are scrambling to get the wedding ready for the next week. But enjoy it, cause you only have one wedding day.

I know that my timing is off, but I decided I better do it now rather than never do it at all. It’s odd, I know, but this will not only help me get her out of my mind, but help you when you need it most. 

(Y/N) is the most special woman in the world. I’m sure you know that, but in case you forgot, I’m here to remind you that you have the best woman who will soon be your wife. Something I dreamed of doing one day. 

That being said, your time with her has been short in comparison to the times that we shared and here are some things that I have learned about her that I thought I should share. 

When she is upset, give her space. She needs time to breathe and be with her thoughts before she tells you about them. Just give her time and space and she’ll eventually come around to you and ask you for your company. When she does, make sure you have a hot cup of tea ready and a blanket. She likes to cuddle and needs something warm. Listen to what she says and promise that you’ll be there for her. After you two talk, she’ll probably ask to watch a movie of some kind. Put on a romantic movie. She’ll tell you she doesn’t like them, but she does. She has a couple of favorites, too.

When she is angry, let her take it out. If she keeps in all bundled in, she’ll explode one day without knowing it. Tell her it’s okay to scream or yell or punch a pillow. She’ll calm down after a few minutes and take a nap. Make sure you put socks on her feet because they usually get cold.

(Y/N) doesn’t like it when she’s alone, so if you are leaving for a trip, make sure she has a companion that can check up on her or hang out with her. If you’re gone on a trip, bring her back one of those cheap keychains. She collects them. She’ll like it. Especially if it has her name on it, too.

(Y/N) loves black tea and green tea. She takes the black with milk and honey and the green tea plain. Don’t let her drink more than two cups of coffee a day or else she gets too wired. Her favorite flavour of ice cream is mint chocolate chip, but she won’t reject any flavour. 

If you go to the beach, stay until sundown. She likes to watch the sunset fade into the horizon and wrap herself in the blanket. It’s a tradition she and her father used to do when she was a child. She loves the beach, but hates the sand. Strange, I know, but I always thought it was charming.

She usually forget to put a new roll of toilet paper on the hanger when the other is finished, so be mindful of that. It’ll drive you mad after a few months, but you’ll get used to it. And she also has a favorite brand of body wash. It smells of rose and vanilla and you can only get it at one shoppe in the city. I forget the brand name, but it comes in purple packaging. Buy her that, she runs out of it often.

Dance with her. Please. She always complained that I never slow danced with her enough. I was always too silly for her. But she loves to slow dance. Put on the radio and dance with her. It doesn’t matter where you are. But dance with her. I don’t care who is watching. Neither does she. Just dance with her and make her feel like you are the only one watching her. 

I should have told her that I loved her more. I told her every day, but even that wasn’t enough. Tell her every moment that you can, even if it annoys her. Make her feel loved. Let her know she is loved. Because, Godric, she deserves to be loved. She is brilliant. She is the moon, the star, and the whole damned sky. And you better love her better than I have ever loved her. Or else she’ll slip through your fingertips and you won’t even notice until she’s gone.

I don’t want to lie and say that I am happy about your engagement, but I will be happy if she’s happy. Please treat her the way she deserves to be treated. Love her with every fiber, every cell within you. And, for the love of Godric, don’t let her go like I did.

I don’t know if I’ll be in attendance to the wedding, but if I don’t show up, tell her that she looks beautiful for me. I know she will. Even if I am there, tell her is beautiful. Tell her she is beautiful each time someone else says it. It’s her special day. 

Best of luck to the both of you. I wish you every happiness together and I hope you live long lives together. Take care of the girl who used to be mine. 

Warmly,

George Weasley

As Draco finishes reading the letter, he isn’t angry. He isn’t sad. He is happy to know that there is someone else out there who wants the absolute best for his future wife. Draco smiles at the letter and sighs, “Thank you, George. I’ll do my best.” Draco then folds the letter and tucks it away in his pocket. Draco thinks to himself about how hard it must have been for George when he heard the news of Draco and (Y/N)’s engagement, but he dismisses the thought after realizing that (Y/N) was probably wondering where he was.

Draco walks back into the bedroom and you look at your future husband with a smile. “Was it an owl?” you ask as Draco nods. “From who?”

Draco smiles, “An old friend. Wishing us lots of love and luck in our marriage.”

“How kind,” you beam. “Are they coming to the wedding?”

“I don’t know,” Draco shrugs, genuinely not knowing the answer. You furrow your brows, confused at the answer given. “It’s not important though, darling. I’ve taken care of it.” 

You nod your head gently and close your book as you watch Draco change for bed. He takes off his pants shirt before walking into the bathroom, closing the door behind him as you hear the shower run. 

Impulsively, you spring to your feet and grab Draco’s pants, digging into the contents of his pockets, knowing your fiancee well enough to know that he stuffed the letter in there. In his right pocket, there is parchment and you pull it out, feverishly pulling out the letter and opening it up. 

You scan the paper and you feel your heart sink as you recognize the writing. “George,” you whisper as tears fill your eyes. You read his words and your mind reels and goes fuzzy. It was obvious that George still loved you after all this time. It was evident in your words. Every word written with care and love that radiated into your soul. “My George,” you whisper as a tear rolls down your cheek as you stroke the paper. 

The sound of the shower stops and you shove the letter back into Draco’s pants, springing back into the bed, and wiping away your tears as if nothing happened. Draco emerges with fresh pajamas and wet hair. “Bedtime?” Draco asks with a soft smile. You nod gently as Draco climbs into bed with you. “I love you, darling. So much. I can’t wait to be yours and you to be mine forever.”

“I love you, too, Draco.”

Draco smiles and turns off the light, wrapping his arm around your waist as you sit in bed, thinking of George’s words on that parchment. He still loved you. You were engaged to another. Your heart loved Draco. But your heart belonged to George. Was that possible? It had to be, this feeling in your chest when you thought of George just confirmed it.

You think of that last night with George when you broke up, crying in his arms. His words haunting you, “I will never stop loving you. You will always be mine.” How his words rang true. You did belong to him. If only things were different. You could run to George and tell him you still loved him. That the life you once had you wanted back. How you were still his and always would be until death do you both part. 

But the thought of leaving Draco made your stomach churn and your heart ache. Draco found you and picked you up when you were low and showed you a second chance at love. He gave you everything you wanted. Love, a home, stability, kindness, and strength. Draco was your everything. Your sun and moon. And you knew it rang true for him. The ring on your finger proved it.

With a sigh, you close your eyes and tune out your thoughts. What was in the past was in the past. It was over. It was time for something new and that something new was Draco. Even though you loved Draco, a piece of you would be attached to George. And that would be enough.

On the other hand, George laid in his bed, staring at the ceiling, wondering if Draco even read his letter. If he showed it to you. Or if he kept it a secret. What was happening in London? All questions George would never get the answer to. Sighing, George spoke to himself, “It’s over, George. It’s done. The battle has been fought and you lost. Time to move on.”

And so you both did. 

[the-witches-you-couldnt-burn]

It's final

Dedicated to my best friend K, who exclusively reads angst (yes I know she is crazy).

Warnings: domestic disputes, panic attacks & mental breakdowns.

Ao3

———————————————

“Why are you such a fucking bitch?”

She froze, her anger steeled within her. Their argument was abruptly silenced, both tempers flaring high enough to threaten the heavens. Heaving breaths from their vocal exertions became louder than their previous yelling. A pang of fear struck her heart as she wonders whether the neighbours had heard them and called the police for a domestic dispute.

Marinette was furious. She wasn’t a saint during this war of words, and had said somethings she shouldn’t have. She had started this argument with the intentions of lessening his reckless behaviour, but ended up stating in anger that his mother would be stopping his behaviour too. That line lead to his outburst and the state they were in now.

Cheeks flushed red, particles of perspiration dotted their skin, bodies wound with tension. She swiftly motioned towards the door, hand reaching to the knob. Jason grabbed her other wrist, deep seated sadness displayed over his features, immediately regretting his words spoken by ire. Her head tilted downwards, stubbornly refusing to meet his eyes.

“I didn’t mean it,” his voice cracked, any traces of rage had melted into sorrow.

“You never do, but it hurts the same.” She shook her arm, detaching his hand from her wrist. His grip was firm but unwilling to deny her, her free will. She picked up her purse, slinging the strap over her shoulder. The door opened, she could feel his stare on the back of his head. Her sigh filled the empty space, without turning she said, “I think it’s better that we seperate, we aren’t good for each other. I’m willing to keep up appearances with your family at the gala but then I’ll move my belongings to another apartment.”

She turned around, rushing into his embrace, tears shed from her eyes. A final hug goodbye. His stray tears raced down his cheeks to reach their raven hair finish line. He made no move to respond to her hug. Usually he’d have wrapped her in his arms, especially after an argument like this. But this one was different. This would be their last.

“Au revior, Jason.” She removed her body from his. It left him wanting to pull her back but it was as if his muscles had necrotic back to a corpse. His eyes flicked down to his invisible chains, begging his arms to move, to capture his lightning bug and never let her go. He looked back at her, she stood there, seemingly wanting him to say something, anything.

“I’m sorry.” His hoarse voice whispered, he desperately wanted to pepper her face with kisses and beg her to forgive a cretin like him. His voice broke as he uttered, “Please.”

Blue eyes met blue eyes. Marinette’s head shook slightly, non-verbally denying him. A bitter laugh escaped her mouth, she brought up her hand cover her crazed smile. “I’m sorry too.” She sobbed.

She rushed out the door, practically sprinting to the elevator. As the strong metal door closed, her sobbed echoed around the empty box. She broke down, months of fights and building tensions had weighed her down, her creativity had been primarily funnelled into ways she could improve her relationship. Il vaut mieux prévenir que guérir (It is better to prevent than to heal).

When the door closed Jason’s knees collapsed, a hollow echo resounded through the hallway. Their shared apartment would be no longer. No more hello, good bye kisses; no more delicious meals shared between the two; no more sleepy morning kisses. He looked down at his hands, clenched fists. A primal cry left his throat, he felt it to his core. He would have rather had his heart ripped out, he would have rather have died again, than to feel this pain.

——

It was the night of the gala, only four days after their fight. Marinette had only come back to their condo once to collect some clothes and her sewing machine. Only the essentials were taken, the rest could be gathered by movers.

Jason was a wreck. He had worked multiple overtime shifts to avoid the festering wound that was his bleeding heart. Preparing for his family’s ball was tough, this would be the first time they would see each other since the argument. He sported a fresh haircut which was left messy, his white button down top hugged his muscles perfectly, was paired with a slate grey blazer and matching dress pants (both gifts from Marinette).

He was fiddling with his tie, the gala’s atmosphere was already suffocating due to insufferable and rich hotshots, and his tie decided that he didn’t need to breathe. Marinette didn’t care for appearances but knew his family lived under the watchful eye of the media, so she always made sure they were matching. But tonight, tonight he had no clue what she was wearing and had received no colour matching instructions, so he went with trusty rusty red. It was the first thing the fashionista made for him and he will always cherish it.

His eyes widened as he saw her enter. She wore a midnight silk black mermaid gown that had a chiffon overskirt that was black fading to blood red. Her hair was down and curled, a silver feather hair clip pinned back the left side of her hair, exposing her magnificent facial features. Cerulean eyes framed by dark painted lashes, scanned the room.

Her heart caught in her throat, she had entered the doors to the banquet hall. She came with the intention of saying her silent goodbyes to the family who had taken her in when she had no one else. She had been suffering in silence for the past few days, her only support system being the Wayne Clan, but couldn’t bring herself to tell them what had happened. She couldn’t do that to Jason, she wouldn’t make them choose between him and her, she dreaded to hear their answers. Resigning herself to reside in silence, she came here to keep up appearances then fade into obscurity, but she saw him and her breath died in her throat. He looked as handsome as the day she left him. She wiped her sweaty palms on her dress. She walked towards him; he spotted her and did the same. They met in the middle, on the dance floor.

“You look amazing Marinette.” He swallowed the urge to call her pixie, it hung heavy in his throat. He needed to create distance between them, that was the first advice in ‘How to be civil after a breakup’. During the silent nights, he delved into any written text that would give him refuge and advice.

“You too Jason.” The pit in his stomach grew, he should have known she would take the same path. Never would he hear ‘Jay’ or ‘Jayjay’ from her plump red lips again. His shoulders slumped a fraction before he shooed away his depressing thoughts.

Their conversing was viewed by many around the room. They were the odd couple of the family. Jason, despite his rich adoptive home worked in security and charity whilst Marinette was a hardworking fashionista who had built her own fashion empire. They were from two different worlds and only fate knew that they’d meet.

He bowed and held out a hand to her, a lopsided smiled danced across his face. She smiled sadly, she would miss her dork, she would miss his smile. Her hand brushed against his calloused palm, their fingers locked together. She hesitated before placing a hand on his shoulder, ‘just one dance’, she could do this.

His hand found her waist, warmth bloomed upon his cold skin. He was always cold since he died, only his temper had warmed him. But then he met her. Marinette was his warmth, she made him feel like he was a child again, bathing in Gotham’s rare sunlight. His lightning bug brought him warmth and he had lost it.

They swayed to the classic instrumental melody. Neither looked at each other as their bodies flowed, ‘it was just an act’, they chanted as a mantra within their minds. ‘It means nothing, soon this will be over’. It struck her, this would be the final time they would see each other. A quiet sob escaped her, she was unable to do anything to stop it.

Jason’s head snapped towards her, sweeping her away into a private garden. Between her weeping she apologised for the state she was in, hyperventilating soon after. Jason guided her to a bench and clasped her hands in his.

“Hey, hey! Mari look at me. Deep breaths in and out, ok?.” Screw creating distance, this was his girl, he will fight anyone who says otherwise. Marinette slowly began to wind down from her panic attack, eyes misty and her water-proof mascara blotchy but still intact. The temperamental man wiped her cheeks free from trails of liquid fright.

“I’m so sorry for everything Jason. I never should have said that thing about your mother, that was cruel. I can’t keep hurting the people I care about. I can’t keep you happy. I’m just not enough.”

Her cries broke down his own walls, exposing his vulnerability to the Gotham night. “Fuck the word enough. It’s synonyms: sufficient, ample and adequate, could never describe what you mean to me.” He pressed his forehead on her, blue eyes fluttering shut. “I’m not sure if any of us will ever be enough for anything. There’s no point in begging for it.”

“I hate goodbyes.” She whispered, lips inches from his. Their breaths mingled, cheeks flushing. The icy Gotham air whipped at their skin causing them to move closer to the other for sanctuary.

“Then let’s not make this one.” Fireworks. That’s what they felt when their lips connected. All of the week’s tension unraveled within this lip lock. Their teeth clashed and hands tugged at hair in desperation to close the distance between them. When she entered the gala tonight, she had been so ready to say, ‘adieu pour toujours,’ but was glad she didn’t need to.

C’est cela l’amour, tout donner, tout sacrifier sans es poir de retour. (This is love, giving it ones all, sacrificing everything without hope of it being returned.)

[spectacularlyignorantt]

From the dining table

March 2017

Louis sat in the kitchen looking around, dust covering every possible surface. Princess Park, their first home, the place they bought together without telling anyone and then never sold after the breakup. Maybe because they couldn't see each other and not end up in bed, regretting it in the morning. Maybe because they both knew this time apart meant nothing. They were destined to be together, a love no one could understand, right?

The last time he saw Harry was after the presentation of his single Just Hold On on the X-Factor, but they had not been a proper couple for around a year. If you didn’t count the sex, of course. Louis didn’t. Sex didn’t mean much, not when he knew what it felt like to be in a relationship with Harry Styles for 5 years. They would have stopped seeing each other when the band started the hiatus if it wasn’t for his mom's health getting worse. Harry stood next to him all those months, giving him comfort, keeping her company when Louis was too tired to stay awake. Harry was part of his family, after all. And Louis knew Anne, Gems and Robin felt the same way about him. 

The reason for their break up was a mystery for everyone, a question never answered. They belonged together, no one could say the opposite after expending time with the couple for 10 minutes. Either you were blind or disgusted by their love, in a cute way. 

Louis knew, of course. It was a decision, more than anything. They felt like the only thing holding them together was the band and decided to take a break to figure out if there was more than that. So they never sold their first home because there was no chance they weren't going back together. 

Lately, Louis wasn’t so sure about that. To be honest, he wasn't sure about anything. The sky was pouring like it should be, for mood purposes. The lump in his throat made breathing hard, the weight in his chest holding him down in the chair. He closed his eyes, he wasn’t going to cry. The promise he made to his mother was still clear in his mind and it was killing him. Because lately, it felt like Harry had forgotten about them. With his solo music, the movie, all that pr girlfriends Louis knew he hated. All that glamour, all those lights. Why would he be thinking about Louis? Maybe they were right, maybe it wasn’t destiny but circumstance. 

Things got worse recently, after Niall went to his flat a couple of days before, wearing that big old tee and Louis told him he smelled like Harry. He wasn’t jealous, not really. It was Niall, for god’s sake. But Niall was around his baby a lot, they had a close friendship not many knew about. Something about the unusual sadness in Niall's eyes told him much more than the calls Haz never answered. Harry didn’t want him anymore. They were done. 

The pressure in his head felt compressive like the one in his heart. All those shots, pints and pot weren’t a good combination. Neither was that boy with curls but the wrong shade of green when he woke up that morning in a hotel room, unable to remember much about the night before. But what else could he do? How could he go to Harry right now and tell him he was sorry for his insecurities? For ruining everything without a good reason? How could he tell him he was sorry? Liam and Oli said he needed to give it time, but everyday felt a little bit more far away from home. So he came back. 

There was a notepad where they used to write the grocery list sitting on the counter, next to the fridge. He took it and the pen on the table, the dim light coming from the closed window. He didn't know what to do, how to get out of this pain, this love. How to be himself again. 

So Louis did the only thing he felt like he could do right: he wrote a song. It was more of a letter, really. But it was shaped like a song, that was his strong suit after all.  And Harry loved to see him write, once upon a time. Used to dance with him in that kitchen, used to make him pancakes in the morning. They used to talk and fuck and chat for hours between those walls. 

To Harry: 

Woke up alone in this hotel room

Played with myself, where were you?

Fell back to sleep, I got drunk by noon

I've never felt less cool 

We haven't spoke since you went away

Comfortable silence is so overrated, Harry

Why won't you ever be the first one to break?

Even my phone misses your call, by the way

I saw Niall the other day

He said you feel just fine

I see you gave him my old t-shirt

More of what was once mine

I see it's written, it's all over his face

Comfortable silence is so overrated

Why won't you ever say what you want to say?

Even my phone misses your call,

And by the way

Maybe one day you'll call me and tell me that you're sorry too

But you, you never do

Woke up this boy who looked just like you

I almost said your name

We haven't spoke since you went away

Comfortable silence is so overrated

Why won't you ever say what you want to say?

Even my phone misses your call

By the way…

 He stopped there, unable to continue. His hand was shaking, the tears were smushing the ink on the paper. What a fucking cliche, crying after promising himself he wasn’t going to do it. Nothing could hurt as much as losing his mum, nothing could compare. So why was he crying? Why couldn’t he just fucking stop?

Louis got up from the chair and walked away from the dining table, leaving the notepad there. He knew deep in his broken heart that the next time he came back it was going to be there. Left and forgotten, just like that house and those memories. Louis left it there next to his allowance to feel sorry for himself. He needed to grow up, get away from those parties and false people. He was going to get his shit together, write away his feelings and find his sound. 

And if Harry didn’t want him in his life, then there was nothing left to do, right?

May 2017

 The recording of Back to you was finally over and now they need it to work in the music video and he wanted to film it on Doncaster. It felt right to go back to his ‘home’, if he couldn't go back home, you know what I mean? It went well with the theme. 

Louis was driving back from the studio to his flat when a notification popped out in this phone: Harry’s album was out and apparently, people thought a couple of songs were about him. Louis wasn't going to be surprised if they were, both wrote about each other a lot along the way. And the fans loved to link things, made up theories about the Larry situation. Something he wished he could out and say ‘yes it was true but it's over now, please stop tagging me, it hurts’. It didn’t. not as much anymore. 

Or that’s what he thought until he heard track 4, Two Ghost. He knew those lyrics, Harry had written them years ago. That is what they used to call each other’s public images: ghosts. Images without a soul. What a young and dramatic pair they used to be, back in 2013. 

He didn't cry with that one, maybe because of its familiarity. And he wasn’t even mad about the songs about girls, he knew Harry better than that, even after all this time. 

Next was Sweet Creature, the one everyone was speculating about, and honestly Harry, ‘two hearts, one home’? The song felt different. Maybe because he thought that Harry didn’t really remember about their lost home, about being young and in love. Too young to know, most people used to say. What a fool he was for listening. Now he knew, and it was too late. 

Kiwi was funny in the most depressing way for him, Woman felt like an anthem, it felt like Harry’s jealousy, his deep and most dark possessive behavior. But then, when a chord from a guitar came in he went to his phone to check the name. He wasn’t quick enough, tho. The first verse stopped him right there. It was a good thing he parked in his apartment building a couple of songs ago. 

Because there, in the shape of the last song of H’s first album, it was Louis' letter. His feelings in a notepad, in the shape of an awkward song. Almost word by word, Harry’s voice filled the car with calmness and longing, a branch of olive. He was giving the first step. If those little easter eggs along the album weren’t enough, he took Louis letter from two fucking months ago and put it there. He probably had to push the label to do it, with such short notice. Harry went out of his way to let him know it wasn’t over. 

Harry went back to Princess Park, just like him. He went back home. 

 ----

His friend picked up the phone after two missed calls. 

‘Oi Lou, how ya doin?’ the thick Irish accent wasn’t enough of a distraction. 

‘Hey lad, I’m fine. Sorry to bother but I need to ask you something’ he could hear the urgency in his own voice. 

‘Never a bother mate, whatever you need’ Niall, always the optimistic. Louis loved him. 

‘Is Harry staying here? In London I mean’ 

‘What? What's going on?’ and then ‘Oh, the album is out, innit?’ 

‘Yeah…’

‘Okay, well, Harry was going to be with Nick today so yeah, he must be doing press shit’

‘Of course, makes sense, thank you mate. I will explain later ’

‘Sure, use protection’

Louis rolled his eyes but didn’t deny the implications. The car came to life once again and he started driving to Harry’s house. The one they used to spend time in when they had some time between recording and touring. He didn’t even feel annoyed by the traffic, listening to the album all over again. Letting his body welcome Harry once again.

Of course, he still had his keys, drowned deep in the glovebox. He wasn’t going to enter the actual house, but it wouldn’t have been smart to stay outside on the street, someone could recognise him. 

So once he parked in front of the building and noticed Harry wasn’t home, he closed his eyes and took a breath after what felt like hours. The next time he opened them there was a hand taping on his windows, he had fallen asleep.

It was a big hand adorned with rings and some nail polish. Louis knew what it felt to hold it more than he knew his own face. He took a deep breath and opened the door. Harry was waiting outside, a small smile making just one dimple appear. It was the first time they had seen each other in months but Louis felt like no time had passed. And if Louis was going to turn into an idiotic helpless cliche then it better be because of a boy as wonderful and beautiful as him. There was no one else. Harry was it. 

‘I thought it was going to take you longer ’

‘To listen to the album or to get my shit together? ’

Harry seemed to consider his answer for a second, the dramatic little shit that he was. Then he smiled and Louis forgave him immediately. 

‘Both’

Louis laughed and took a step closer to the love of his life. 

‘I’m sorry, baby, I'm really sorry ’

‘Me too’

‘If you let me kiss you right now I’m never letting you go again. It's your choice’

‘Never wanted you to go in the first place’

‘Right answer’

And then they kissed because there wasn't much left to say. At least not right now. The conversation could wait for the next morning, once they had sex, pancakes and maybe a little dance in the kitchen. For old times sake.

----

Soooo, I wrote this because I couldn’t get the idea of Louis writing this song out of my head. And like, it sounds so much like Harry’s writing, this is not a theory at all. But I liked the idea so yeah. It’s probably gonna be my first and only fic about Larry, hope you like it. 

All the mistakes are mine and its noy my first language, sorry if the grammar is trashy. Thanks. 

[2996-sana]

Seeking Arrangement - Rosé

Part 1

The pitter patter of the rain served as background noise for Y/N and Lisa who was sat on their couch munching on some cucumbers, eyes glued to the Kdrama playing on the TV. Y/N let out a dramatic sigh as she watches Ko Moonyoung and Moon Gangtae lock lips for the first time. The sound was not lost on her best friend who shot her a grin.

“Are you going all soft again, Y/N?”

Y/N rolled her eyes at the teasing tone in Lisa’s voice. This was not new as she was always on the receiving end of Lisa’s jokes about her being such a hopeless romantic. Though Lisa found this amusing about her best friend, she thinks there is strength in Y/N’s ability to believe in love after the shit her ex-girlfriend Suzy put her through. Could you really blame her? Being in love was without a doubt one of the best feelings in the world in Y/N’s book. For her, it was an overwhelming yet warm feeling that stretches throughout your whole body once it enters your life and leaves you feeling like you’re on top of the world (but its all fun and games until your partner cheats on you).

Despite this though, she was not in a hurry to find love. In fact, after the tragedy that was her last relationship, she just wanted to lie low and have fun for a while.

“Shut up. You’re lucky you’re in a stable relationship,” Y/N scoffs.

Lisa and her girlfriend Jennie have been together for 2 years now (3 years next month) and Y/N envied the love shared between the two.

“Don’t worry, Y/N. No one can resist you for too long,” Lisa tries to reassure her best friend, wrapping an arm around her.

Y/N grimaced, “Eh…I don’t really want anything serious at the moment. Especially after Suzy.”

Lisa pretends to gag at the sound of Y/N’s ex-girlfriend’s name, “I agree. Have fun and take it easy. You should like…I don’t know…find a sugar daddy or something.” They both chuckle at Lisa’s words, knowing she would never even think about it.

•

It was hours later on her bed while typing out a reply to some guy she matched on Tinder that she realizes how hard it was to find a worthy candidate to waste her time on. These boys lacked substance and were coming at her with the same pick-up lines. She wonders if they all got them at the same Fuckboy Convention. It didn’t help that she rarely matched with girls either.

She groans at the reply that came through.

Wyd tho? U tryna fuck?

“The audacity of these boys,” she mutters under her breath, closing the app.

As she stares at her ceiling zoning out, she remembers Lisa’s words from hours ago. A sugar daddy. She laughs at her best friend’s ridiculous idea. She could never.

Unless? No. It’s stupid. She doesn’t wanna give out any sugar AT ALL.

But she was bored out of her mind. For the past 3 months, she has been cooped up in her bed wallowing in self-pity while listening to the very suspicious sounds coming out of Lisa’s room. There were also only so many pep-talks she could give herself until she grew tired of her own words. It was this that fueled her to sit up and turn on her laptop. After all, she considered boredom as an invitation for her to find something that would raise her serotonin levels. And what is the value of life without a little fun? She owed herself the first few months of her breakup to relax and take care of herself after all the mental damage, but now she needed a little play. She needed both the loud and quiet joys of life, peace with a little bit of wild mixed in. It was needed to feed her soul.

She also couldn’t lie that she craved some sort of human connection and validation. Yeah, she definitely was not proud of that last one.

Y/N stared at the keyboard, not believing what she was able to type into Google.

How to find a sugar daddy?

What she found out during her deep dive in the wondrous world of sugar daddies and babies was the number one site to find one was called Seeking Arrangement.  

So that is where she found herself, blinking at the statement written in bold.

100% Free to Join!

To hell with it, she thinks as she begins to fill out the application.

30 minutes later, she nods in approval as she scanned through the photos she chose. She would totally hit herself up if she was a sad middle-aged man desperate for companionship. As she hits submit, she was met with pictures of men – and surprisingly women, although there were considerably more men – complete with their basic information.

Looking for a woman to spoil.

Looking for love.

Looking for a loving companion.

Looking for a good time.

It was nothing she didn’t expect to find at a sugar baby site but it was the net worth of the men and women displayed on her screen that caught her eye. She was almost tempted to message one of them but couldn’t find it in herself to do so. She rolls her eyes at the thought.

She spent hours researching and signing up for a sugar baby website and she still finds herself being stubborn about making the first move.

Glancing at the clock, she realized that it was almost 4AM. She decides that she was going to wait for someone to message her first instead. Besides it gives off the vibe that she’s hard to get and that’s always a little bit sexy, right?

•

"Y/N! Wake up! I made banana pancakes.”

Slowly opening her eyes and stretching, her foot meets a hard surface. The cold metallic feeling on her foot was enough to remind her of her antics 7 hours ago. She hides her face on her hands, sighing. Why did she think that was a good idea?

Once she was out of her room, she was met with the sweet smell of banana pancakes and nutella. She dragged herself to where the smell was most present and found herself in the kitchen where both Lisa and Jennie sat on the counter. Jennie threw a gummy smile her way while her best friend simply nodded at her presence, busy stuffing herself with her girlfriend’s banana pancakes.

“Vas happenin’, love birds?” she greets them with a faux British accent.

“What kind of dollar store Zayn Malik am I hearing right now?” came Lisa’s reply to which Y/N’s response was to smear Nutella all over her best friend’s face.

“Yah, Y/N!” Lisa whines as she hits Y/N on the shoulder.

Y/N gasps as she prepares to retaliate.

“Children! Stop it.” Jennie scolds the two. She was used to the duo’s playful fighting but she also knew it could go on for hours if she doesn’t put a stop to it.

Both were quick to stop but stuck their tongues out at each other.

Y/N grabbed her plate to return to her room. She glanced at the couple making sure they were preoccupied enough not to notice what she was up to.

You have 11 unopened messages!

A loose grin formed on her face at the notification. Not bad. She hurriedly opened her inbox to find the different men who deemed her worthy to reach out to.

It was all pretty tame, it being the typical greeting. She sighed, already bored. It wasn’t until she reached the bottom of her inbox where a small gasp came out of her. She sat up and read the sender’s name.

Rosé Park. A woman.

She excitedly clicked on the woman’s profile.

It only took the woman’s profile picture for Y/N to realize that this Rosé Park was the type of woman she fantasized about. For starters, she was a brunette and the woman was a blonde. She was a sucker for blondes. Who could resist a good brunette and blonde wlw duo?

Santana and Brittany. Rose and Rosie. Clarke and Lexa. Piper and Alex. Need she say more?

Basically, Rosé Park was a dreamboat. Something radiated from her pictures that Y/N knew rendered her irresistible to both men and women. She could outshine any of these men on the site any day. It also only took her profile picture to realize that the woman was a big deal. Her outfit looked straight out of the pages of a fashion magazine. Why would gorgeous and rich 25-year old Rosé Park want to talk to a normal and boring 23-year old like her?

Y/N composed herself, fighting back a smile, before returning to her and Rosé’s chat.

Hi, gorgeous. I passed by your profile and knew I had to talk to you. Looking forward to your response x

Y/N’s blush seared through her cheeks and for a minute she thought her face was on fire. She suddenly felt awkward, demure, and coy; even going as far as attempting to hide her rosy features behind her slim fingers even if no one else was around to see her. She blames it on the fact that an insanely beautiful woman complimented her. So naturally, it took her at least 5 minutes of over-analyzing every possible response for her to actually send one.

Hi there :) You’re one to talk. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid my eyes on.

To her surprise, three little dots indicating Rosé was typing appeared beside the woman’s picture.

Haha, cute.

Hmm what brings you to this site, Y/N?

The woman’s question made her pause. She doesn’t even know the answer to that. Was she supposed to make some shit up?

Um I was bored.

She facepalms herself as she hit send. Really? Your brain cogs couldn't turn fast enough to come up with a more interesting response, Y/N?

Y/N thought she blew it as 45 minutes has passed and no response from the blonde bombshell came. She internally cursed herself for her boring response to the woman. Rosé probably thought she was an airhead.

•

It was 10PM after binge watching another Kdrama with Jennie and Lisa that she remembered being left on delivered by Rosé. Her mood quickly sours as she realizes she ruined her chance at getting to know the beautiful woman. Thinking to distract herself with the depressing fact, she goes to check if any of the men messaged her back. Sure, a man could never fill the void of a woman but she really needed to talk to another human being besides Lisa and Jennie.

Y/N was apparently in for a surprise because what awaited her was a message from the woman.

Well, I hope to provide some sort of entertainment for you ;)

I’m not one to beat around the bush Y/N. I think you’re stunning and a good lay in bed. That’s a really good source of entertainment for the both of us, no?

Jesus Christ. She was not expecting that.

Y/N knew what being a sugar baby entailed but she was still brought to a shock at how blunt Rosé was being and so early on into the conversation. The thought of being with Rosé like that, being able to feel her skin against hers, the godly sounds that it would elicit…

Her private thoughts made herself blush. It seems like if there was anything Rosé was good at it was making Y/N blush. But her unholy thoughts about the woman didn’t create a cute soft pink tint on her cheek like a healthy outdoors glow, it was beet red. Y/N figured that Rosé was probably highly practiced at the art of seduction. Rosé’s looks although a masterpiece sculpted by all the deities that exist… well, nothing so pretty could possibly harm you, right? But it was that combined with Rosé’s choice of words that had anyone she chose to even focus her attention on jumping through hoops to please her. So, she swallowed her pride and forced herself to play it cool, putting on a mask that she thought would appease the woman she really wanted to impress.

I like the way you think, Rosé. I like to think I make great company in bed too ;) Give me a time and place and I’ll be there.

•

That message was what lead Y/N to the 21st floor of Seoul Forest Trimage Towers, one of Seoul’s most luxurious and exclusive apartment complex, standing outside of Rosé’s penthouse two days later.

All the reasons not to go through with it and just leave came flooding in. Y/N can feel the soft panic growing inside her body as she wills herself to breathe in and out, not quite ready to ring the doorbell just yet. But before she could finish her fourth exhale, the door was opened to reveal the woman who has not left her mind ever since signing up for that damned site.

“I grew tired of watching you hyperventilate so I thought I’d do you a favor and open the door for you.”

Y/N almost choked on air as she looks at Rosé for the first time. The pictures on her profile did not do her justice at all. The woman could have graced every billboard or magazine in the city and she wouldn’t even question it.

Y/N did not say anything - did not know what to say. She was conscious of the smirking woman standing before her, dressed in a white dress that stopped just above her knees.

“Do you wanna come in, Y/N?” Rosé’s voice was dripping with amusement, eyebrows raised. Shyness wasn’t usually Y/N’s gig so what the hell was going on?

“Yeah, sure.”

Once she entered the threshold that Rosé called home, she immediately noticed how fancy and expensive everything was. She was immediately drawn to the large window overlooking the whole city. The glass was so clear that it looked like a high definition screen at the movie theatre.

Rosé quickly picked up on her fascination, grabbing hold of Y/N’s hand and leading her to the glass window. “Cool, huh? I picked this unit because of the view. The city below is so far away it's like another world. This penthouse is my cocoon and the window, well, the window shows me as much detail as I want to know.”

Y/N could only stare at their joined hands and then to the woman beside her, intoxicated by her words. “It’s beautiful, Rosé. I’d kill to wake up to this every way. You have great taste.”

“Yeah I do have great taste huh?” Rosé looked her up and down, biting her lip before chuckling. (Y/N swears she saw the gates of heaven open at the sound)  

•

A few hours later after a candle lit dinner prepared by Rosé herself and a bottle of wine, Y/N finds herself straddled in the living room couch being kissed roughly on the neck as pure pleasure runs through her entire body.

“Fuck,” she pants as she feels Rosé grind on her. Unable to control herself anymore, Y/N holds Rosé’s head in her hands and pulls her into a fiery and passionate kiss.

“Someone couldn’t wait,” Rosé smiled against their lips.

With a laugh, Y/N pushed Rosé down on the couch, switching their positions, not breaking the kiss. Y/N’s hands slowly work their way around her body, tugging on Rosé’s dress.

“Off.”

Rosé sat up slightly, allowing Y/N to pull down the zipper of her dress, feeling skilled fingers unhook her bra. Rosé tears it off herself before reattaching their lips. Immediately, Y/N’s hands found itself on Rosé’s breasts as she tugged on her nipples.

Rosé gasps against her lips causing Y/N to pull away, making her way down and sucking on the skin surrounding Rosé’s breasts before soothing it out with her tongue.

“I don’t know what’s gotten into you but I’m not complaining,” Rosé giggles but whimpers midway as she feels Y/N’s tongue latch onto her nipple.

“Probably the wine.”

Y/N couldn’t help but think that their bodies fit together as if they were made just for this, to fall into one another, to feel this natural rhythm.

Y/N’s hands drop to Rosé’s thighs, caressing her from above her panties. Rosé moans at the feeling of the soft silk rubbing against her as Y/N’s mouth still busied herself with her nipple.

“Oh my god.”

Rosé grips her hand tightly onto Y/N’s hair as she feels the wetness between her legs. “Take your clothes off. I wanna see you.”

Y/N stops devouring her nipple to pull her shirt off. Rosé drops her hands to the zipper of Y/N’s jeans pulling it down and slipping her own hand in.

“Good to know I’m not the only one dripping wet,” she teases.

Before she could begin her sweet torture on Y/N, she feels hands finally moving inside her panties and her mind went blank.

Fingers toyed with her nub making Rosé bite down on Y/N’s shoulder. Thumb continuing to rub Rosé’s nub, Y/N slipped two fingers in. Rosé moaned so loud that Y/N swears it was enough to get her off.

Pumping her fingers around Rosé, Y/N felt a smirk making its way on her face. She couldn’t believe she was on top of the godly woman seeing her face all scrunched up in ecstasy. She feels Rosé pulling her in for another heated kiss as she picks up her pace inside the woman. With every moan and whimper coming out of Rosé’s mouth, Y/N feels her own wetness.

“You’re so fucking hot,” Y/N mutters under her breath.

She could feel Rosé getting close as the woman’s grinding on her fingers became sloppier and her breaths became more uneven. Burying her face on Y/N’s shoulder, Rosé tries to stifle her moans as she finally comes undone.

Y/N slowly leaves feathery kisses up and down Rosé’s neck as she waits for her to come down from her high.

“Jesus Christ, Y/N.” she hears Rosé trying to catch her breath. “I honestly wasn’t expecting you to take charge tonight.”

“Maybe I’m just full of surprises,” Y/N grinned, pressing a kiss on Rosé’s temple.

Rosé slowly sat up as Y/N leaves her place on top of her. “I guess you are.”

They both sat in silence as they picked up their clothes scattered on the floor before putting them back on. Rosé was the first one to break the ice as she reaches for her purse on the wooden table. It was at that moment Y/N remembered why she was even there in the first place. Disappointment stabbed through her like a knife. Somehow during the duration of the night, she made herself forget that she was there because of an agreement made online. As if she was there spending the night with a new lover, both milking the feeling of a love that just arrived. The night started out like a sweet melody of a blackbird -- full of promise, freshness, and newness to come. Now it sat like a cold cup of coffee waiting to be drained away. All of a sudden, she felt dirty and used and all she had to blame was herself. Rosé’s words from a few hours ago during dinner echoed through her head.

I signed up because I have no time for relationships. I’m just too busy for that. It saves me the hassle of meeting new people and having to get to know them, y’know?

And truthfully, no, Y/N didn’t know. She remembers Lisa telling her she loves like a puppy - devoted, playful, and trusting. So, no, Y/N didn’t know. She just didn’t roll the way Rosé rolled.

“Here you go,” Rosé reached out with a wad of cash in her hand. “Go treat yourself. You deserve it.”

It was the way Rosé said it, so confident and smug, that Y/N knew that she was not Rosé’s first rodeo. The woman sounded like she does it so often that she just didn’t care anymore.

“How many girls receive this same amount of cash?” Y/N laughs quietly and she hopes it didn’t sound as bitter as she felt.

“A couple a week,” Rosé grins so nonchalantly it makes Y/N stomach churn. “Why?”

“Nothing,” Y/N awkwardly shifts in her place on the couch. “Um, you really don’t need to. I’m not looking for cash.”

Rosé actually looked shocked at the girl’s statement. “I’m a little bit lost here.”

“I signed up because I was bored and curious not because I’m low on money,” she laughs keeping an unamused tone. “I really didn’t expect to reach this far ahead. So, you can keep your money Rosé.”

Y/N got up and started walking towards the door. She was halfway there when she felt Rosé grab her wrist.

“Why do you sound angry? Don’t act as if you didn’t know why I invited you here, Y/N.” Rosé looked at her confused. “We met through Seeking Arrangements for god’s sake. I thought we had a good time.”

Rosé did have a good time. Aside from the mind-blowing sex, she was impressed by Y/N’s ability to be present during a conversation, always having her own two cents to offer, which lead to a lot of fun and meaningful discourse all throughout dinner. She had never met a woman through that website as enchanting and beautiful as Y/N. Y/N was a smart woman who was good at sex and Rosé liked that. A lot. So why is she being difficult?

Rosé saw different emotions flash through Y/N’s face before settling on a look of defeat. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I did have a good time.”

Y/N stepped closer to Rosé. “I loved being here with you and money was never on my mind tonight. Maybe that’s why I reacted that way. I’m sorry. I joined Seeking Arrangements for fun because honestly…I was lonely and bored and looking for some sort of human connection and that’s what you gave me tonight. I just got lucky that you reached out. That was all I needed I promise.”

She offers Rosé a genuine smile before turning to leave once more. “Have a good rest of your night, Rosé.”

Y/N hears footsteps behind her as Rosé opens the door for her, a smile planted on her face. “You’re something else, Y/N.”

Before the door closes, Rosé speaks once more. “It’s Rosie now by the way.”

The last thing she saw was the woman throwing her a wink before the door finally closed.

[winter-soldier-vibes]

She’d rather be beautiful than alive (Avengers x Anorexic reader)

She'd rather be beautiful than alive

Based loosely on the song Deadly Beauty by Alexa Shea

Avengers x anorexic reader

Word count: 2070

Warnings: anorexia, purging, over exercise, depression

Summary: Reader has a serious eating disorder and the team decides to hold an intervention.

-------------------------

Nobody saw it coming. No one needed to. 

You were always so….well, you. Badass fighter, wouldn’t take no for an answer, life-loving Y/N! There was never any reason for anyone to worry about you. But little did they know

You had a secret. 

You had just gotten out of a serious relationship. You had loved him, but apparently he didn’t  anymore. No, you had found out he had been cheating on you. Someone who was prettier than you, skinnier than you. And that was a few weeks ago. You never stopped loving him, and you’d do anything to get him back. 

The team knew that breakup was pretty rough for you, but you hid how torn apart you were. You didn’t want them to worry about you or think that you were being stupid for feeling so broken because of him. 

It started out small. You began skipping Cap’s training sessions, claiming you were tired, but in reality you couldn’t sleep. You made it up later in the day, spending hours on the cardio machines or punching away all of your feelings. You stopped eating. You couldn’t...no, you wouldn’t. After seeing him with that skinny girl? No way. But when the team all got together for meals, you would participate so no one would get suspicious. Afterwards, you would go to your room and put on some music before going into your bathroom to get rid of the little you had eaten.

You were convinced that if you were perfect you could get him back. But what you didn’t realize was that you were already beautiful. And because you didn’t know this, you were destroying yourself in the pursuit of perfection. And you told yourself “I’d rather be beautiful than alive.”

This went on for a few months. Your clothes became baggier, you became more withdrawn and anxious, and you were obviously getting thinner. At first the team had pegged it on the breakup, thinking it would be a phase and that you would get over it. Plus, you were eating around them, so they weren’t too concerned. But the longer this went on and the more weight you lost, the more concerned the team became. 

They tried to approach you about it, but you would just wave them off or change the subject. You didn’t want anyone to stop you from becoming perfect. You were losing significant amounts of weight and along with it, your strength. You were spending more and more time in your room, too afraid of the conversations the team was trying to have with you.

The team decided to take the time to have a meeting to discuss what was going on. They were all worried about you and wanted to figure out the best way to move forward.

They all gathered in the living area in silence for a few minutes, no one really knowing how to start. Most of them were sitting, but Steve stood, not feeling able to sit. They were all really worried about you and your health. They knew it had been a hard time for you recently, but things were getting out of hand.

“So what do we know right now?” Tony started.

Steve sighed and leaned against his hands on the back of his chair. “She stopped coming to training sessions a few months ago. But later on in the day I’ll find her in the gym. I don’t really think anything of it but sometimes I’ll walk by hours later and she’s still on the same machine. She’s lost a lot of strength and she’s lost a lot of weight. I mean, I know she eats with us but I don’t understand how she’s gotten so thin.”

Bucky entered the conversation, adding “I’m not so sure she’s sleeping anymore either. She always seems so exhausted.”

“But is that exhaustion from lack of sleep or lack of food?” Nat asked. Everyone turned to look at her with confusion. “Oh come on, I mean, yeah, she eats with us, but like...once every few days? Has anyone seen her outside of that?””

The team dropped their heads, trying to think of the last time they had seen you eat outside of the team meals only to realize they hadn’t seen you period outside of team meals. 

The team fell silent again after a few solemn shakes of their head. After a few minutes, Bruce said, “I think I know what’s going on.”

“She barely eats anymore, she goes to the gym for hours at a time, she’s withdrawing, she’s lost significant amounts of weight, hiding in her room, not sleeping…” He looks up to see everyone staring at him. “Guys, I think she’s anorexic.”

At first people started to protest, but then realised that it made a lot of sense. They fell silent again, until Steve asked “When did this even start? Why would she hurt herself like this?”

After thinking for a moment, Bucky said “Her boyfriend.” He looked up to meet the eyes of the rest of the team. “After they broke up, she started distancing herself from us. Stopped eating, upped the workouts… God how did we not see this sooner?”

Knowing he was right, they all began to have different reactions.

Tony was angry. He didn’t understand why you would do this over some asshole. Bruce was concerned, a little more so than everyone else due to his medical background. Sam, Steve and Bucky were ready to go kill your ex out of pure rage. And Wanda and Natasha were already trying to think of ways to help you, you were like a sister to them. But underneath all of this, everyone had a similar feeling - they all blamed themselves.

For not noticing sooner. Hell, for not doing something sooner. They let you brush them off, they would watch you overwork yourself, they watched you dwindle down to nothing - they let you slowly kiil yourself. 

“So what do we do now?” Steve broke the silence. 

Everyone looked at Bruce, figuring he would know since he knew the most about Anorexia. He paused for a minute before stating “Well, we should probably set up some sort of intervention. She needs to know we care. But…” he shakes his head before continuing “She’s not going to be very open to it. She’s probably going to get really defensive about it and deny it to some extent. But there’s no telling how it’s going to go.”

“So when should we do it?” Steve asks

“When should we do what?”

Everyone whipped around at the sound of your voice to see you standing at the entrance of the living space. No one had heard you walking in. 

“Hey, Y/N.” Bruce spoke. Can you come sit down?”

You wanted to say no, as you had been on your way to the gym. But you had picked up on the serious tone in the room, and nodded your head, sitting in the chair that Steve was standing behind. He walked around to the other side of the room and looked at you. “Are you okay Y/N?”

No, you did NOT want to have this conversation. You weren’t done yet and you knew they would just stop you. You needed to be perfect and you weren’t there yet. “Yeah, I’m fine. That's it?”

“Y/N, no you’re not. Don’t lie to us.”

“Tony!”

“What he means,” Bruce interrupted, more gently, “is that we’re worried about you.”

You looked at him and attempted (and failed) a smile. “Why would you be worried about me?”

Bruce sighed before continuing. “Y/N, you’re not eating. You’re extremely thin. You work out way too much every day. You’re withdrawing, you’re tired… what’s going on?”

“:No I’m not!” you exclaim, standing up. You ignore the black invading your vision. “Look, I appreciate the concern and all, really. But I assure you, I am fine. So if you’ll excuse me, I’m just going to go.” You begin to make your way to the door you came in, but Bruce nodded at Steve who then stood in front of the doorway.

“Steve, please get out of my way.” you said while averting your gaze. If you made eye contact surely he would know something was up.”

“I’m afraid I can’t do that Y/N.” he said gently. 

“Steve, please -”

“Y/N, I’m sorry but you’re not going anywhere until you talk about this.”

At that moment you felt extremely trapped. You were panicking. If you didn’t get out of sight soon you would break down in front of everyone. You weren’t ready for that. So you showed an emotion that was much more comfortable: Anger.

“Steve, seriously, just move the fuck out of my way.” You attempted to push him, but to no avail. You kept trying, but because he was Steve and you being so weak, nothing happened. You kept pushing until Steve grabbed your wrists and your anger began to melt into anguish. “I’m not perfect yet.”

This took him by surprise, and he looked to everyone else in the room. No one else had heard what you had said. He led you back to the chair, tears beginning to brim your eyes as you kept your head down. Steve took a deep breath before asking “What do you mean you’re not perfect Y/N?”

Your tears began spilling over, and you shook your head. “It’s not going to make any sense to you guys. Just forget it…”

“Y/N, whatever it is, we just want to help. What’s this about?” Bruce said.

You put your head in your hands, trying to hide the shame and panic in your features. You started, “I just...I thought… if I….then maybe…” you sighed, and pulled at your hair for a second, tying to ground yourself. After a few seconds you closed your eyes and tried again. “When I broke up with (name of ex or someone you want attention from), it was because he was cheating on me. He was seeing someone who was just...better than me. God this sounds so stupid...sorry… I just thought that if I was better then maybe…  maybe he’d come back. At least that’s how it started. Now… I mean I want to stop sometimes, it’s just… I just feel like I’m too far gone. I’m sorry…” 

By this point you were shaking and you couldn’t bring yourself to look at the rest of the team. You felt panic setting in now that everything was out and you just wanted to get out of the room, away from watching eyes. You tried to get up and leave again, but this time it was Bucky who stopped you. He had been sitting right next to you and grabbed your wrist, standing up with you. You tried to wrestle your arm free, but he just encased you in a hug. You fought for a few seconds but then gave way, crying into his shoulder. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Bucky asked you

You stepped back and sat back down. “I didn’t know what to say. I thought...I just don’t know how to stop.”

“Just let us help you. Please, Y/N, we want to help you.” Bruce offered.

“I can’t stop…”

“Yes you can, Y/N. you mean so much to everyone on this team. You are amazing, forget whatever he made you feel.” Steve began. “I’m sorry we didn’t say something sooner.” you saw the rest of the team nod their heads. In response you shook yours. “I never thought that it would go this far.”

“Hey,” you looked at Bucky sitting next to you. “It’s not your fault. You’re trying your best with what you were given. It’s okay. And it’s going to be okay even if it doesn’t feel that way right now.”

You looked down. “Thank you guys. I’m sorry for all of this.”

Sam finally spoke up. “No sweat, kid. Now, remind us of this dude’s name.”

You looked at him puzzled. “Why?” 

“Because I think it’s time the Avengers pay Mr. Son of a Bitch a visit.”

You laughed and looked up at the rest of them. “I really do love you guys.”

[words-for-holland]

Happier (4) | T.H.

Summary: Y/N & Tom speak to each other for the first time in 3 weeks! Tom is in talks of doing a new movie. Lots of yelling, painful pictures being sent. Harrison and Harry go on a trip. Does Kate finally tell the truth to Y/N?

A/N: Hmmm....seems like Natalie & Matt is everyone’s favorite/hated suspects. More theories lets hear em!!!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

Sanctuary

Its a word often used to protect those within a troubling world. For some it’s a church, a home, sometimes a family and friend. For Y/N and Tom, sanctuaray was no where to be found. Three weeks it’s been since the world felt like it collapsed on Y/N and Tom. Three weeks of feeling left in a troubling space that they could not get out of...until now. As soon as they heard each other’s voices on the phone, it gave them a moment of relief, but only for a moment.

“So...how are you?” Tom asks nervously. He wanted to pick his words out carefully in hopes that he wouldn’t upset her.

“Im okay.” Y/N responds quietly as she looks back at her phone. No message yet, maybe she was in the clear and that gave her a small boost of confidence. It was going to be okay. “How about you?” She asks back, not really sure how to carry the conversation. In any case, how does one continue talking to an ex without making it awkward? Let alone how does one talk to someone without the fear of being blackmailed.

“Yeah Im great...really great.” Tom lies and chuckles nervously.

Y/N could tell by the tone of his voice how nervous he was. A habit she always found to be adorable for him. Y/N rolled her eyes with a slight smile before she questions him in a serious tone “Why did you call Tom?”

Tom closes his eyes, letting out a stressed sigh. “I miss you Y/N and I dont care what you say or what you said to me that night, but this wasn’t supposed to happen.”

“I miss you too but things happen beyond our control, Tom. Sometimes it just can’t be helped.” Y/N responds nonchalantely, staring at her phone again. No messages still.

“Thats a load of bullshit and you know it. We were supposed to get through anything. Fuck the rumors fuck everything! This isn’t like you Y/N!” Tom vents out every feeling and thought he had since she left. “You say you miss me but then what are we doing? Why are we continuing to hurt ourselves like this?”

Y/N shakes her head, knowing deep down the reason why but could never say. Not unless she wanted to ruin his dream. She could never. “It’s not that simple.” She croaked.

“We would have found a way to get through it, but you gave up so easily. I know for a fact my Y/N never gave up without a fight.”

Y/N looks again at her phone, and no messages were to be found. Maybe she could tell him, and they wouldnt know, but Y/N knew better. Somewhere out there there was someone always watching her every move. “I cant do this right now. Goodbye Tom.” Y/N hangs up as she continues to cry herself to sleep. So much for sanctuary.

Its the morning after, and as Y/N heads downstairs, she hears soft laughter and conversations echoing through the halls. For a second it almost sounded like Tom’s, and she hurried toward the room only to be disappointed. In the living room was Matt and Kate as they made small talk awaiting for Y/N’s arrival.

“Y/N! You’re awake!” Kate exclaims as she gets up from the seat to give her a hug. “Look who decided to drop by!”

Matt looked up at Y/N and gives her a shy smile and wave. He’s dressed in his navy blue LBI shirt and cream colored shorts. It was typical high school Matt...nothing had changed with him.

“Yes I see that....I’m sorry did we have plans and I forgot?” Y/N asked confused.

“No actually uh I invited him over because I knew you wanted to catch up with him after last week..so I pulled some strings.” Kate whispers.

“You..what?” Y/N asked annoyed, her eyes glaring and her brows furrowed. If there was one thing Y/N hated it was blind dates. She had stressed that over and over throughout the years that she hated it, especially with people she used to have romantic feelings for. The keyword..USED.

“Cmon Y/N. Remember this was the time for you to move on and forget. Plus you wouldn’t want to send him away after he came here just to see you!” Kate tries her best to sell it, she had to...there’s wasnt really a choice.

Y/N looked back at Matt and groaned silently to her best friend. “Fine I’ll go, but this is the last blind date you’re ever setting me up on AND you’re doing the dishes.” She emphasized as she got ready and grabbed her purse.

To say Y/N was surprised was an understatment. For sure, she had a feeling this was going to be awkward in so many ways like any other first dates, but this...wasn’t too bad. Though she realized it wasn’t a date this was just two old friends catching up from the past.

She learned a lot about him and how his younger brother Steven was working on becoming an engineer and how his little sister Emily was also grown up and working towards becoming a physical therapist. As for Matt, he was working in the city too as an accountant for a finance firm. While they continued to eat their lunch at Chelsea’s Market, she couldn’t help but make the comparisons.

Matt didn’t dress up like Tom, didnt make her laugh like Tom does, didnt make her blush the way Tom does, didnt smile like Tom, and when he touched her hand...she didnt feel the goosebumps the way Tom would. It was clear. He wasn’t Tom and could never be Tom.

The date came to a close, but Y/N hadn’t really gathered much from it since she was so focused on Tom. Every word Matt had said to her barely made it through. She’d be lying if she didnt say the date was okay but she’d be lying even more if she had said she’d enjoy it.

She looked into his blue eyes as he looked into hers. Matt tried to lean forward to give her a kiss, but Y/N moved away. She couldnt. Not when Tom was still present in her thoughts and her mind. “Im sorry...I just got out of a serious relationship and well —” Y/N whispers feeling guilt in her heart.

“No no. It’s fine really. Maybe I was too forward with this and I had no idea....I’m sorry.” Matt laughs, feeling heavily disappointed. “I’ll uhh I’ll see you around?” Y/N nods as she waves him goodbye.

The next day, Tom wakes up in his bed still praying that this whole phase was just a nightmare he’s still having trouble waking up from. Today was not that day. He got up and dressed appropiately knowing that today would be a meeting for his upcoming project. He had forgotten all about it especially with everything going on. When he arrived and entered the room with Harrison, Natalie also appeared sitting in one of the chairs with a smile and coffee on hand.

“Jesus you’re like everywhere now.” Harrison speaks out taking the seat across from her, while Tom takes the seat next to Harrison.

“Well I mean I do live with you guys temporarily until my flat gets fixed, and I did get cast in the same movie as Tom.” She laughs pointing out the obvious.

Tom looked up, his eye wide open and brows raised. He completely forgot the fact that she was going to be playing his love interest for the film. He tried to recall if he had told Y/N about it before and if maybe that’s why she was also mad. Maybe if he told her now, that would make her feel better? Tom was lost in his thoughts he didnt hear the other publicists in the room calling out to him. “Tom are you listening?”

Harrison quickly hits his best friend to wake him up from his thoughts. “Huh? Uh..no sorry.” Tom confesses, looking down at the table.

The publicists, both roll their eyes in annoyance. “We’re telling you that you need to do a lot of PR for this movie in order to boost the sales, and recoginition for both you and Natalie. This means..you’re going to have to pretend you’re in a relationship for some time.”

Tom and Harrison are now fully attentive and furious. “What?! Im not doing PR for this. That is low for the both of us. We shouldnt have to fake a relationship to get our work across” Tom yells out fury burning in his brown eyes.

“I know Tom, but no one watches it for the films nowadays it’s about the image, and right now we’re trying to help both of yours and Natalie’s. You’ve been looking liek a depressed bloke this past month and Natalie is trying to get some exposure in the business.” The publicists expalin. “Harrison, help us out here.”

“Look mate, Im just his assistant. It’s up to Tom if he wants to do this or not.” Harrison speaks out as he points to his best friend. He faces Tom and whispers, “You don’t have to do this mate, there are other projects out there.”

Tom nods, as he looks at the room of people. He closes his eyes, but all he could see was Y/N. Deep down, Tom knew he couldnt do this to her. “I..I don’t think I can do this.”

Natalie and the publicists’ eyes shot up in fear, unhappy with the response given. They knew there was only one thing they could do now. “Ah I understand. It’s because of a girl isn’t?” Natalie’s publicist speaks out. Tom looks at her and then down at the table, as he slowly nods his head. “Yes well Natalie’s told me all about her. Seems like a bright girl, but believe Tom she doesn’t love you as much as you thought she did.”

Tom’s eyes dart towards the publicist as his eyes continue to stare down in anger. He was angry, pissed off that they could ever make that assumption. “Fuck you! You don’t know anything!” His tone set in anger.

“Oh..but we do. See you think Y/N is remaining as faithful as you after a breakup, but why is she already out with another guy.” The publicist continues. She hands her phone to Tom as he swipes through the pictures of Y/N and Matt’s date. He saw Y/N smile at Matt, laugh with him, and touch his shoulder. Yet, the one picture that broke him the most was the one where Matt almost kissed Y/N. While Tom didn’t know the backstory, he could very well imagine how it went. Everything in him shattered, and his eyes started to well up.

“Mate..there’s gotta be an explanation for all of this. Y/N wouldn’t move on from you that quickly. You know her..she wouldn’t. This is all rubbish.” Harrison tried to reason to his heartbroken best friend. For once, he couldn’t rule out Natalie. She didn’t blackmail Y/N, someone else did.

“Fine. I’ll do it.” Tom grumbles as he gets up and walks away.

The world was quiet for the next two days, and it almost seemed like a break from all of it. Back in the New York, Y/N was minding her own business in the apartment with Kate, when she got a text message.

Unknown

Answer the next phone call. ❤️

Y/N’s phone rings and it’s Tom. Her hands are shaking, afraid of what was going to happen. “Y/N.” Tom says shortly, tone filled with disappointment.

“Tom” Y/N replies, her voice shaking.

This wasn’t sanctuary anymore. This was hell.

“Tell me it’s not true.” Tom speaks out, needing to hear the truth. “Did you go out with another guy?”

Y/N hesistated for a moment, unsure of what to say. She could either lie or tell the truth but it didnt matter at this point she was fucked either way. “Yes.” She breathes out. “But — ”

“It’s not what I think? Right?” His tone getting louder. “So it’s okay for you to judge me with Natalie, but not okay for me to judge you with some bloke you’re with?”

“Matt is my friend and I had no choice in that matter!” Y/N yells out, unhappy with how Tom was confronting her.

“Did he threaten you?”

Y/N hesitated for a moment, not him but someone was threatening her. “No.”

“Then you did have a choice.”

As soon as Y/N was going to speak, she got a new message. This time it was a picture from Unknown. One of Tom and Natalie getting cozy as they walked out of a building. Natalie was smiling and Tom had his arms wrapped around her shoulder. “Yeah, guess you made yours too with Natalie.”

Tom was in shock, did she know about the him and Natalie. “Y/N it’s not what you —”

“What? What I think? Yeah that makes two of us, but you want to make assumptions? Fine. You look like you already moved on yourself, but moving on with a girl you know I can’t stand...that’s an all time low for you.” Y/N hangs up and throws her phone across the room. Kate quickly comes to comfort her best friend.

“He...he moved on.” She sobbed quietly in Kate’s arms.

“I know...it’s going to be okay.” Kate whispers. Tears started to also fall on Kate’s eyes as she saw how much pain her best friend was in. She looked at her phone and quickly deleted the pictures she had taken of Y/N and Matt. “Im so sorry. I..have to tell you something.”

Y/N had fallen fast asleep, exhausted from crying. Just when Kate was ready to tell the truth...the door rang.

“Kate!” Harrison and Harry said spoke out in relief as they hugged her.

“Hey..what are you guys doing here?” She asked surprised but also relieved.

Harrison and Harry looked at each. “We want to help find out the truth.”

Taglist:

@hollanddolanfangirl​ @ifilosemyselfagain @hevjadams @averyfosterthoughts​ @fangirl-with-a-mission @drishtisikarwar @eridanuswave​ @ifntelyinspirit​ @trumpettay @astridcommings @parkershoco

[plugloveff]

Prologue

Chanel:

“Chanel we’re going to LIV tonight, and you’re coming. So, don’t even try to give me no bullshit” My best friend Aria said

Rolling my eyes, I leaned back in my chair and crossed my legs. “So, I don’t get a choice in this matter?” I asked.

“No, you don’t, you’ve been avoiding going out with us for almost a month now. You can’t let a break-up turn you into a grandma. It’s been over a month Chanel. Fuck him it’s his lose, not yours and it’s time for you to move on and hopefully get some dick because you’ve been really bitchy lately” Aria replied before taking a bite out of her burger.

Biting my lip, I looked down at my nails, and processed what Aria had just said. I hated to admit it but she was right, I’d spent the last month sulking after this breakup. It was time for me to get back to my old-self.

“Fine, I’ll go. But please stop talking about my sex life” I said flipping grabbing the stack of papers off my desk.

“You mean your lack of a sex life” Stephanie my other best friend said as she walked into the office.

Aria almost choked on her burger laughing.

“Fuck the both of y’all” I said flipping them off.

“You know it’s all love Coco” Stephanie said throwing herself on the couch next to Aria and stealing a French fry from off of her plate.

“Yeah, whatever. Don’t y'all have work to do? Or am I the only mother fucker that work around here?” I asked.

“I’m on lunch” Aria said tearing into her burger and slapping Steph’s hand away from her fries.

“My next client doesn’t come for another two hours. Stephanie said stealing another fry off of Aria’s plate when she wasn’t looking. “But I could definitely squeeze you in” she said pointing to the messy bun on top of my head.

“What’s wrong with my hair”

“Coco, you’ve been sporting that struggle bun all damn week. If I didn’t know you, I’d think you couldn’t afford to get your hair done or better yet that you didn’t own a salon” Steph replied.

Stephanie and I were the co-owners of a full-service salon in Miami. Aria was our manager.

All around Beauty was the busiest salon in all of Miami, because we offered everything from hair care to skin care. We were so busy that clients had to book almost two months in advance or joining our waiting list.

This salon was everything to me, it was my baby. I poured my all into this salon and it was definitely paying off. Not that anyone was surprised by this with me being the daughter of one of the biggest bosses in the state of Florida Carter Wright. He’s one of the biggest drug suppliers in the country. But he was smart he kept the most powerful people on payroll so he was untouchable. His moves were calculated and none of the drugs could ever be traced back to him.

My father is street royalty the king and being his daughter made me the princess. I didn’t have to lift a finger if I didn’t want to. But I wasn’t into sitting on my ass and doing nothing, I knew the weight my last name held but I wanted to make my own way.

“So, what you wearing tonight Nelly?” Aria asked.

“I don’t know probably a dress” I said shrugging as I continued to flip through the stack of papers in front of me.

“Wear that leather one you bought the last time we went shopping. That dress fits you like a glove” Aria said.

“Hell, yeah wear that shit” Stephanie said

“Alright, ill finish inventory while Steph does your hair” Aria said getting up from her spot on the couch.

“Damn does my hair look that bad? You hate doing inventory” I asked.

“Ehh it’s not terrible, but you not going to nobody’s club with me looking like that” Aria said.

Laughing I shook my head. Aria wasn’t one to hold her tongue for shit. If there was something on her mind, she was going to let it be known and it was what I loved most about my best friend.                                                      

                                                   ______________

Walking over to my mirror I quickly checked my outfit. I almost didn’t recognize myself it had been a while since I had dressed up. Aria was right about the dress, it clung to my body like a second skin. My hair fell down my back in soft waves and my face was beat to perfection.

Shrugging into an oversized denim jacket I took one last look at myself before grabbing my keys and stepping onto the elevator.

Once I was in the car, I sent Aria and Steph a quick message and let them know I was on my way. Speeding out of the garage I turned the volume up and blasted Lil Baby’s new album.

About twenty minutes later I was pulling up in front of LIV. Parking my car next to Aria’s G wagon. I stepped out of the car. Aria and Steph were waiting at the front of the club for me.

“Damn it looks like it’s going to be packed in there” I said noticing the line wrapping around the block.

“Girl you know we haven’t waited for a line ever” Stephanie replied.

Smiling I shrugged and walked over to the bouncer.

“Hey ladies” he said as he lifted the rope for us to enter. At the sounds of teeth sucking and protests I turned my head and noticed a group of girl’s dirty looks. I decided to have some fun, I flashed them a million-dollar smile and a wave as I stepped into the dimly lit club.

Moving through the packed crowd I smiled and greeted a few of the people I knew as we made our way to our VIP section. Once we sat down, a bottle girl came to our table.

“You ladies know what you want, or do you need a minute?”

“Nah we know what we want. Let me get two bottles of 42, three bottles of Moët and a bottle of Henny” Aria replied.

“42? Do y’all not remember the last time we had 42? We got into that big ass brawl” I said shaking my head at the memory of that night.

Stephanie chuckled. “Yeah, but them bitches tried it. But were not going to be getting into no shit tonight. Were just here for a good time”

“I hope not, because y’all better not have dragged me out of my house to get into a fight” I said.

“Girl, that would be the highlight of your boring ass life” Aria said.

“Yo, if you don’t stop coming for me” I said shaking my head.

“I love you darling” Aria said giving me a kiss on the cheek.

Rolling my eyes, I shook my head just as our bottle girl came. Grabbing the bottle of Moët out the bucket I popped it and took a swig.

Swaying my hips to the music, I took another sip of my bottle. I needed this night out more than I thought, it felt good to be out.

Right there, I made a promise to myself that I was done letting this breakup get the best of me. there and then that she was done being depressed over her break up with Rob. It was his lose he cheated on me and I had to move on with my life. Tonight, was the beginning of me taking my life back. Fuck Rob, I was back on my Bullshit like Jhené Aiko said.

Two hours into the night, and our VIP section was now crowded with men fighting for Aria and Steph’s attention. Standing in front of the railing I looked down and the party goers as I rapped along to every word of Lil Baby’s Sum to Prove.

“We see you in VIP Chanel” the DJ said as he pointed to Me. Smirking, I shook my head and raised my bottle of Moët.

“Yass Coco” Aria screamed behind me. The 1942 bottle was in her hand and one of the men had his arm wrapped around her waist.

Steph was laughing with another one of the men who I’m sure was spitting some bullshit in her ear.

I could bet money that he would probably end up at Steph’s house tonight and she would probably never see him again. Stephanie swore off relationships, she always said “Nigga’s are always playing games, so I’m playing too. And a lot better than them.”

I wasn’t entertaining any of the men in our section. I didn’t need the extra stress especially just coming out of a relationship. I was just trying to have a good time.

We spent another two hours at the club. Drinking, dancing and enjoying ourselves before the DJ announced the club was closing. Tossing the empty bottle of Moët into the bucket I grabbed my stuff and we headed out of the club.

Feeling the cool breeze after being in a hot club for the past four hours felt good. Shrugging my jacket on I grabbed a hair tie out of my bag and put my hair into a messy ponytail.

“Coco, we’re about to hit up a diner. I’m starving you down?” Aria asked as the man she was dancing with wrapped his arm around her waist.

“Nah, she coming back with me.” The sound of the familiar voice behind me made my heart raise. Turning around I came face to face with my ex-boyfriend Robert. A group of his friends were standing close by. “You have got to be fucking kidding me” I said at the sight of him.

Glaring at him I couldn’t stop my palm from itching. I couldn’t believe the same face I’d loved for the past 4 years made my blood boil now. “Rob, get the fuck out of my face” I said.

“Chanel, stop acting like that baby I said I’m sorry you know that bitch meant nothing to me. I just want to talk to you” he said.

“There’s nothing for us to talk about Rob, go talk to one of them dirty ass bitches you cheated on me with. You lucky I don’t slap you in your face right now”

“Coco, fuck him. Let’s just go” Stephanie said. Shaking my head, a spun on my heels away from Rob.

“Nah you’re coming with me; we need to talk” Rob said grabbing my hand.

Spinning around I yanked my hand out of his grasp and slapped him hard against in his face. “Don’t you ever put your fucking hands on me again. Have you lost your god damn mind? Do you know who the fuck I am? I will end you. Don’t fuck with me” I barked out. The mixture of alcohol in my system fueled my anger. I was seeing red, fuming and my skin felt hot.

“Yo what the fuck is wrong with you” Rob said glaring at me. But I stood my ground, I wasn’t afraid of Rob and if he wanted to go there with me it would be his mistake.

Rob tried to reach for me again, but before he could touch me a man came in between us.

“I think you might want to back up of her” he said.

“My nigga, who the fuck are you?” Rob asked pressing him.

The man let out a deep chuckle and shook his head. “My nigga you really don’t want to do this with me. I’m not the one” he said.

“Nigga what?” Rob said pulling up his pants. But before he could even lay a finger on him.

The mystery man pulled a gun from his waist band and held it under Rob’s chin. “Like I said my man, you don’t want these problems”.

Rob froze, as the steel of the man’s gun pressed against his chin.

“I-I ain’t mean no harm. I just want to talk to her” Rob stuttered.

“Well, she doesn’t want to talk to you. So, I’m going to give you 3 seconds to get the fuck out of my face. And if I see you anywhere near her again, I’m not talking I’m shooting. Understand?” he said.

Lifting his hands in surrender, Rob started backing away. He kept his eyes on me the entire time.

“Yo Meek, you a crazy mother fucker” the man that clung to Aria said.

Tucking his gun back into the waistband of his jeans he turned to face me. When I finally saw his face, my breath caught in my throat. He was fine, wait he was better than fine he looked like he was made of the finest chocolate.

Damn, Who the fuck is this man? I thought taking in his features.

“You alright Ma?” he asked looking down at me.

I couldn’t’ stop staring at him, where did he come from? and why did he look so good?

His skin was the perfect shade of chocolate, and I couldn’t help but wonder if he tasted as good as he looked. His hair was freshly cut with waves so deep I knew I’d get sea sick if I looked at them for too long. His beard was full but perfectly manicured, it framed his full pink lips.

A diamond earing in each ear and two diamond chains around his neck. On his wrist was an AP from the diamonds around it I could tell it cost him near 500k. The dark denim jeans he wore complemented the bright colored Dior t-shirt and Chanel sneakers he wore.

“Yeah, I’m good. Thanks.”

“Don’t sweat it beautiful” he said running his tongue across his bottom lip. My body shook at the motion.

“Yo Meek, we out to the diner. You coming?” Aria’s man asked.

“You going?” he asked looking down at me.  

“Yeah”

“Yeah, I’m down” he said smirking at me.

Biting my lip, I looked down at my feet, feeling the heat from his gaze. Placing a finger under my chin he forced me to look up at him.

“Nah, always keep your head up beautiful” he said

Damn this man. I thought staring at him.

“Alright let’s go I’m starving” Aria said walking to the parking lot.

Tearing my eyes away from him, I followed them into the parking lot and to the diner.

Fifteen minutes later I parked my car next to Aria’s, getting out of the car I watched as Meek pulled his Maserati into the spot next to mine. Getting out the car he flashed me a million-dollar smile that made me weak in the knees.

Nah this has to be the lack of dick I’m getting because there’s no way he has this effect on me I thought.

Entering the diner, we found a booth in the back away from most of the crowd. Sliding into the corner my heart skipped a beat when Meek slid in next to me.

We spent time together, laughing like we’d known each other our whole lives instead of people who had just met. I found out the other guy’s names were Dre and Wayne. Them and Meek had been best friends since the second grade. Their relationship reminded me of the one I shared with Aria and Stephanie.

When it was time for us to leave, I reached for my wallet. “Nah I got it” Meek said reaching into his pocket and pulled out a stack of money. Peeling off three hundred dollar bills he tossed them on the table.

“We out” Dre said.

Climbing out of the booth we headed to the parking lot.  

“Alright, I’m exhausted. I’m going to head out” Aria said waving at us with Dre hot on her tail.

“Yeah, I'm going to head out too, I got early clients in the morning” Steph said as her and Wayne headed for his car. Leaving Me and Meek alone.

“Well thank you for earlier and for the food” I said leaning against my car door.

“Don’t worry about it Ma. I’d do it again with no hesitation” he said looking down at me.

“Well, I better go” I said getting into my car. But before I could close my door, he stopped me.

“What’s up?” I asked

“Text me when you get home” he said

“How? I don’t have your number” I said.

“Well, we gotta change that” he said handing me his phone.

“Smooth... real smooth” I smirked taking his phone out of his hands I quickly typed in my number.

Handing him back his phone he called me so I could save his number.

“Well goodnight Meek” I said.

“Goodnight Ma, and make sure you text me so I know you got home safe” he said.

“I will” I said as he closed my door and watched as I drove off.

I couldn’t help the smile on my face, there was definitely something different about Meek

Meek:

Pulling into my parking spot I let out a sigh and nodded my head at the doorman. Stepping onto the elevator I pressed PH taking me to the top floor.

Leaning my head against the cold metal of the elevator I thought about my night with Ms. Chanel Wright. I knew about her, shit the whole of Miami knew who she was but seeing her tonight, being so close to her. I hadn’t realized just how beautiful she really was.  

Closing my eyes, I could still see her light brown eyes glaring at me. I pictured how at the right angle made them look like they were glowing. I knew I should stay away from her but being around her tonight I knew that I couldn’t let that happen.

Chanel was royalty, and I was just a young nigga trying to get my paper up. I was ruthless, I’d killed nigga’s without even flinching. My hands were so deep in the game I knew there was a very low chance of me coming out untouched. And I was usually ok with that, I was rich and living a life I dreamed of. But Chanel had me rethinking it, imagining a life where I wasn���t alone.

The sound of the elevator reaching my floor, broke me from my thoughts. Stepping out I tossed my keys on the table and ran a hand down my face. Walking over to the bar I grabbed a bottle of Hennessy VSOP and a glass. Pouring myself a glass I took a sip welcoming the smooth burn.

Pulling out my phone I scrolled through my messages thinking which one of my regulars I wanted to send over just to get my mind off Chanel. But none of them bitches seemed like they would get the job done. Not even Renee with the good head could get Chanel off my mind.

What the fuck did this girl do to me? I thought.

Tossing the rest of the liquor back I walked into my room and stepped out of my clothes. Taking a quick shower, I threw on some boxers and headed back into my room.

I was exhausted, and I knew I had shit I needed to get done tomorrow. But it was already an hour since I left Chanel and still hadn’t heard from her yet.

Grabbing my phone, I sent her a text.

Meek: You home?  

A few minutes later I got a notification.

Chanel: Yeah, I just got out the shower. I meant to text you.

Reading the message, I couldn’t help but think about how she would look fresh out of the shower. My dick jumped at the mental image.

Meek: All good love, you get some sleep

Chanel: Goodnight Meek

Smirking, I tossed my phone down and drifted off to sleep.

                                                  __________________

“Nigga I fucking told you what was going to happen if I caught your ass didn’t I?” Wayne barked as he held his gun to the man’s chin.

“Yo why you still talking to this nigga?” I asked pulling my gun from my waistband and fired three shots into the man’s head. Laying him out.

Tucking the gun back into my waistband I walked over to the table where they were counting the money from the last drop.

Wayne looked at the dead man on the floor and grabbed his phone out his pocket. He dialed a number and waited for a response. “Yo I need a clean-up” he said into the phone waiting for an answer.

“Warehouse” he said again before hanging up and walking over to the table.

“How much?” Wayne asked.

“Half a Mill” Dre said stacking the money.

“We got two more shipments coming through, by the end of the week. We each walking away with at least half a mill.” Dre said rubbing his hands together.

Nodding my head, I took the rolled blunt from behind my ear and lit it. Taking a long pull of the weed I let it sit in my lungs before I blew it out.

“So, Chanel?” Wayne asked glaring at me.

“What you about her?” I asked taking another pull.

“Nigga I saw how you were looking at her. You out here pulling guns out on niggas for her” Wayne said.

“She fine so. And you acting like I ain’t ever pulled my gun out on a nigga before” I said.

“Nah that wasn’t no she just fine. You like shawty” Dre said.

“Yo, why y'all on me? Like y'all wasn’t all over her friends” I asked.

“Oh, I’m definitely fucking with Steph sexy ass again. I’m just saying fucking with Chanel Wright is a different level; shit could end a nigga.” Wayne said.

“Well, I ain’t never been scared of a nigga a day in my life. Plus, you acting like I'mma marry shawty or some shit.”  

“Ion know you was over there drooling looking at her all night” Wayne said.

“Yo fuck you. Let’s finish this so we can dip”

“Why you in a rush? you hitting up Chanel?” Dre asked.

“Nah I’m hitting up yah mama. Let’s go nigga” I said

Dre threw a stack of money at me. As Wayne laughed. I knew Wayne was right fucking with Chanel could be dangerous because of who her father was. But I was drawn to her, I knew if I was smart, I would leave shawty alone. But I wanted her and I always got what I wanted.

[forgottensuggestion]

Hi!

Hi folks! It’s been years since I’ve been on this blog, and I’ve missed you all! I want to come back and renurture the community we had created. I’m older and much wiser than I was when I started this blog, and I want to reframe this environment as a place of healing. Please submit anything you feel like, and send in asks if you need advice or have any questions! I will include a personal update under the page break about what i’ve been up to. 

Hope to hear from you soon,

mod o

I went MIA on this blog shortly after I brought on mod q. I got super wrapped up with work, school, and the relationship I was in at the time and completely lost track of how this blog was even doing. During that time, I finished my stint at community college, got accepted into UCLA for art history, and then promptly transferred out and into an art school. I’m now studying photography and creative writing and will be graduating with my BFA in 2022! 

Shortly after I created forgottensuggestion, I entered into a relationship that I someone I thought was it for me. We were together for just over four years, and they ended things in March. Things were extremely complicated, toxic, and messy during the last month we were together, and we are no longer on speaking terms. They entered into a new relationship almost immediately after we separated and their new partner took it upon themselves to threaten me and spread rumors about me. The way things went down in the end made me extremely sad and threw me into a deep depression for a while, but that was 7 months ago now, and I’m doing much better!

I’m still in school (going to art school online sucks, but we’re making it work), and am currently working on my mid-residency gallery show! I’ve been processing the trauma of my breakup and coming to terms with the toxicity of the relationship through meditation, therapy, and general spiritual healing. I work as a barista for the green mermaid company and I love my job! I’ve managed to find a supportive and loving community of people that I see/interact with almost daily now and it’s helped tremendously. 

mod o

[textingloki]

Not So Called off Engagement Loki Imagine

Word count : 1.2k

🚨depression warning🚨

You were laying on your bed watching movies since you been home from work. You were fortunate enough to host a daytime talk show with your friends that can take your mind off the breakup. As soon as you got home, that's all you could think about. Loki called it off out of the blue, said that your and his schedules were too hectic to plan a wedding and should break up. That was last month, which made your heart shatter even more just thinking about it as the days went on. You weren't acting like yourself lately. You've been depressed and not wanting to go out at all. As much as your friends insisted on going out or just coming over and spending time with you, you assured them that you were fine and wanted to be alone. You've also lost some weight from loss of appetite. You try to eat but, got full way to quickly. In the middle of you watching Second Act, you can hear the rain pouring and your phone vibrating. Probably (y/f/n) you thought as you picked up the phone. Loki was written across your screen, undecided if you should answer it. You didn't want to sound like you were too eager to answer the call but, didn't want to ignore him. He's probably butt dialing me whilst on a date. You through as you let it ring one more time before answering it. "Hello?" You asked, pausing the movie. "Open the door, (Y/n)" he states as you could hear the rain pouring on his end. A puzzled look appears on your face as you walked to your front door. Seeing Loki's silhouette from the porch lights beaming on him, you hurried to let him in. He was soaked, his black shirt pressing against his skin, his curly hair brushing his face. He rushes in as you closed the door behind him. He looks at you, just analyzing you as if he wasn't believing what he was seeing. "You said you were fine." He states walking closer to you. “Yeah I am." You say backing up. "You really need to change out of those clothes. I don't think I have any clothes that can fit you here. I'll go buy you some if you like, there's a Target not far from here," you rambled as Loki grabbed your arms, making you look up at him. "You're changing the subject. What's wrong? Is it the engagement I called off? The break up? (Y/f/n) said you were not acting like yourself. I took the first flight over here to make sure you were ok." Loki said giving you a worried look on his face. You wondered if he was just saying that to break you again. By the way he talked to you and the look in his eyes, you knew he was serious and deep in his feelings. He really cares about me. You thought, tilting your head to the side. You stood there in silence before you broke down in front of him. "Yes, I really wasn't expecting that at all. I was thinking that we would sort it all out eventually. It was just a bump in the road for us. I completely understand why you called it off and broke up with me. It was hard for me too." You say as Loki looked at you with his arms crossed. "So you barely eating cause you're depressed?" He asked, eyebrows arched walking closer to you. You nodded as he hugged you tight, your tears were falling on his already wet shirt. "I'll go get you an other set of clothes." You say pulling away from him. "You can dry off in my bathroom and put your clothes in the washer and dryer. I'll be back in 10 minutes." You say grabbing an umbrella and car keys.

You came back with a dark grey button down shirt, black pants, and some new shoes. He called to ask for some pajama pants since he wanted to spend the night with you to make sure you were alright. So you bought him some black and red lumberjack plaid sweat pants. You entered your room and knocked on your bathroom door. "I got your clothes." You say holding the sweat pants. He opened the door fully showing him in one of his shirts that you forgot you had. He was wearing his briefs as you handed him his pants. "I forgot I left this shirt here." He said looking down at the shirt. "I forgot I even had it." You laughed waking to your king sized bed as he put on his pants. “I kinda like this style on me. Thank you," he said, feeling his presence getting closer. You had your back towards him. You were just looking down at the bed as he hugged you from behind. Out of habit, you grabbed his forearms as you both swayed from side to side. "It's like we picked up from where we left off." You say slightly smiling. You looked up at him and you catch him looking at you with watery eyes. You turned to him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. "Do we have to end?" You ask. "Do you think we can try? Work on making time for each other? I can always find a something for work. I can tell your feelings towards me never left. Mine never left for you." You explained, choking up a bit. He pulled out the ring that was laying on the night stand and placed it between you and him. "Your right, my feelings towards you never left. It gutted me that I ended things thinking it was the right decision for us. I was just making it worse. (Y/N) I promise that I won't give up on us again. Do you want to pick this up again?" He asked as you nodded. He placed the ring on your finger and laid in the bed with you. "I'll be right here through your darkest times. I'm never gonna leave you when you are going through this right now." He says pulling you closer to him. He kissed you with so much passion. You missed that with the rest of him. "You don't have to leave here to stay with me." Loki said holding you. "I'll stay here with you and still continue the talk show. I'll pick up something over here to help you out." He continued  as you placed your head on his chest. “You're amazing, you're too good for me." You started to say as you felt your eyes tear up. "Darling, don't doubt yourself, you are amazing, loving, caring, the list goes on." He says as he combed your hair with his fingers. "You are the person I want to be with. I don't see myself with anyone else but you." He continued. "Is there anything you need me to do to help you with you in this state?" He asked with you looking up at him. "Help me get back on track. They'll be days like this but nothing super bad, hopefully.   Just help me get out of this mess that I'm in." You say. "Trust me, darling, I will." He replies as you fall asleep.

[crashdevlin]

Something More- Part Four

Author’s Note: *THERE IS NO WIFE-HATE HERE! I <3 Danneel Ackles. (it’s completely understandable how she acts)* This is a sequel to Open. READ THAT FIRST!  Something More Masterlist

Summary: Reader is a no-name actor who has been lucky enough to land a role on her favorite show and a part in an anthology of Marvel Cinematic Shorts. Her star is on the rise, but the man who’s made her his mistress isn’t the only one noticing it.

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader, Tom Hiddleston x Reader

Story Warnings: Open Marriage, mistress, breakups, angst, anger, jealousy, things get REALLY bad between Jensen and y/n…

Chapter Warnings:  18+ HERE BE SEX, DON’T READ IF YOU’RE A YOUNG’UN!!! fingering, Dom/Sub relationship, Tom is Dom, slight choking, controlling behavior (cause Tom is Dom), mentions of depression and depressive drinking, 

The drive was much easier with Tom in the car, ratty black tee and threadbare jeans making him look ever so comfortable in the passenger seat. We spent the entire ride talking about family, about what he needed to expect from mine, from Connie, from Nova. Then we sang along with my Spotify playlist. Then his.

We pulled into the driveway of my parents’ house and I took a deep breath. “Are you all right?”

I bit my lip and nodded. “It's just… you know, last time I brought a guy home, it was Nate… and they hated him from the get.”

“Are you afraid they're going to hate me?”

“I'm sure they won't, but if they did… I would have to listen to them. Because Nate was such a disaster, right, that I could have avoided if I had just listened to them.”

“But Nate and Nova forced growth in you, catalyzed change. As did Jensen.”

I looked down. I hadn't seen Jensen, and had tried to keep him from my mind, since I dropped his key off at the set. At set was determined to be the safest place to see him. He'd taken the key without a word and I'd just nodded as I turned and walked away.

“Don't mention him to them. None of them know what was going on. Well, my mom accused me of having an emotional affair with him, because she noticed he called me every night after he got done shooting… which I guess isn’t completely wrong based on how he acted after I met you… but according to them, I haven’t had anybody since Nate, so…” I pushed the car door open and stepped out, Tom following as I walked toward the door, which slung open to reveal Nova. “Supernova!” I yelled, dropping to my knees so that she could run to me and jump into my arms.

“Mommy!” She screamed, knocking me over with the force of her jump. “I missed you!”

“Oh, I missed you, too, baby!” I stood, my arms wrapped around her, and turned to Tom. “Nova, this is Mommy's friend, Tom. Remember how I told you about him?”

“Yeah, he's your boyfriend.” Nova said, forcing a chuckle from Tom.

“She's very smart.”

“Yeah, well, I was a genius before I got dumbed down by laziness and depression. I mentioned I was reading and understanding Shakespeare at her age, right?”

“Well, Midsummer Night's Dream isn't exactly that hard to follow, is it?”

“Hey! Don't make me dump you when you came all this way to meet my parents.” I joked, before grabbing his hand and pulling him into the house. “Hey, y'all, I'm home!”

“Y/n!” My mom greeted, hugging me and Nova at the same time.

“This is Tom.” I reached up and patted his shoulder.

“Mrs. Y/l/n, it's an unabashed pleasure to meet you. Your daughter is a shining light of intelligence and beauty.”

The moment my mother fell in love with Tom was showcased by her blush. Okay, so nothing to worry about. “You really go for the tall ones, don't'cha?” My dad said as he entered the living room.

“Be nice. At least this one's a gentleman.” Mom scolded.

“In the streets, anyway.” I muttered, under my breath.

“So, you met on set?” My mom asked, ushering Tom to sit on the couch.

“You know we did.” I rolled my eyes. “Go ahead, Tom. You like telling this story so much.”

“Shall I alter it for your parents’ benefit?”

“Nah. They know I’m a dirty old woman. I’m sure they’d believe you if you told them I gave it up on the second date.” I said, walking up the stairs with Nova on my hip.

“I assumed that was something unique to our relationship.” I heard Tom muse.

“Oh, definitely. She’s generally just a dirty old lady in her writings.” My dad responded. I dropped Nova to her feet on the top step and ran back down to the living room.

“Tom doesn’t need to know about that, yet!”

Tom smiled up at me. “Your fanfictions? I know about them. Someone sent a link to your story about Loki to me the night I sang with you.”

“And you still want me? You don’t think I’m a weirdo?”

“Incredibly articulate and grammatically pleasing with a good grasp on the characterizations of Loki and Thor… I quite enjoyed it.”

I gaped at him for a minute. “You… you read it? Nobody else ever… I mean, you liked it?”

“It was very good. You seem incredibly concerned with maintaining the canon of the MCU while bringing in just enough information from the comic books to flesh out the story and remedy the perceived faults in the timeline.”

“I… thank you, Tom. That means a lot.”

“I’d love to read more of your writing sometime.” His eyes sparkled at me from across the room and I laughed, loudly.

“Yeah, that’s not gonna happen. Most of my stuff is Supernatural and a lot of it is reader-inserts for female readers, so…”

“You could let him read the first five chapters of your murder mystery.” Dad suggested.

“Oh, a murder mystery? Do you have it readily available?” Tom asked.

I blushed. “I guess I can get it for you.”

He followed me up to my bedroom and shut the door behind him. He smiled as he looked around the walls. “Well, the decor hasn’t been updated in quite a while, has it?”

“You know I didn’t expect to have to come back to live with my parents. The divorce just… took away my options. Didn’t want to spring for new decor when I couldn’t even afford my own place.” I pointed at the Green Day posters. “And Green Day rocks, so fuck you.”

He chuckled, his trademark ‘he-he-he’, eyes roaming down my body. He reached behind him and locked the door. “If you insist.” He grabbed my shoulders and pushed me backward onto my king bed, the one piece of furniture I fought to keep in the divorce. It was just a box spring and a mattress settled on the ground. When I was fat, I hated the sound of a bed frame groaning under my weight and I just never bought one after I lost the weight.

“Tom, we can’t.”

“Of course we can. The door’s locked. I can be quiet. Can’t you?”

“Yeah, but my parents are right downstairs and they, literally, just met you. Is this the first impression you want to give them?” I whispered as he pushed me onto the bed and covered my body with his.

“I’d think they’d want you with someone who can take care of all of your needs.” He responded, running his hands down my sides. “Besides, you said they know you're a dirty woman.”

“Yeah, but that's more metaph-fuck!” I whispered as his hand slipped into the front of my pants, long fingers easily finding and rubbing at my clit.

“I know you can be quieter than that, darling.” He whispered in my ear before starting to nibble and suck at my neck. “You don't really want me to stop, do you?”

“Yes… no.” I buried my hand in his hair and held him at the spot on my neck he usually doesn't give enough time to. “Fuck, right there.” He pulled my jeans down my legs, sliding down my body with them, biting at the inside of my thigh as he went. As I tried to hold in my moans, my eyes fell on another one of my posters: one with three men and ‘Join The Hunt’ on it. “Tom, stop.” I pulled his hair and pointed at the poster. “Jensen’s watching me.”

Tom scoffed and stood, ripping the poster from the wall. “Shouldn’t still have your ex-lover on your wall, anyway.” He grumbled at me since I was obviously offended by his treatment of my stuff.

“Yeah, but I’ve had that poster for years and you just-”

“Quiet.” He demanded, his voice low and resolute as his fingers hooked in my underwear and he pulled them down.

“Bossy.” I responded, breathlessly, as he sunk two fingers into me with no fanfare.

As he started to work his fingers in and out of me, he moved up my body and wrapped the fingers of his left hand around my neck, just hard enough to put pressure but not enough to hinder my breathing. “Sometimes, y/n, you seem like you need to be told what to do. I’m just giving you what you need.”

“Tom, I-”

His hand tightened, just slightly. “I said, ‘quiet’.” His voice made me shiver.

I nodded. I wasn’t sure what else to do. Sure, Tom was always passionate, especially in bed, and he’d always kind of controlled the situation, but this was different. This was Tom easing us into a Dom/sub relationship, which wasn’t something I’d ever wanted.

“If you’re good, y/n, if you keep quiet… I’ll let you cum. Do you want to cum?” He asked, after he’d been working me for about ten minutes. I nodded. “Words, darling. You can speak when I ask something of you.”

“Please.” I whined, and it kind of amazed me that I fell into that role so easily, following directions and eager to please.

He chuckled, letting his thumb just barely sweep across my clit. “‘Please’, what?”

“Please, make me cum.”

“Add a ‘sir’ to that sentence for good measure, Dear.”

“Please, make me cum, sir.” I breathed out.

“Go on, then.” He pressed his thumb down firmly and I saw stars. My body went rigid and I twitched and spasmed around his fingers, but I didn’t make noise. I was quiet. “Well, look. She doesn’t like being told what to do, but she’s very good at following directions. Get dressed. I’m going to wash my hands.”

I was leaning against the wall next to the door when he exited the bathroom. “What the hell was that?” I whispered.

“Something I thought we’d both enjoy. I was right, wasn’t I?”

“You can’t just spring Dom shit on a woman. What if I was a Dom?”

He chuckled. “You’re not.”

“That’s rude. I could be.”

“I’ll give it to you that you might be a switch if the circumstances were right, but you aren’t Dom, darling.” He cupped my cheek and smiled. “You, my dear, sweet y/n, were made to kneel.”

“Don’t Loki at me, you jerk.”

“Why not?” He pushed me harder into the wall. “Because we both know what it does to you?” I bit my lip and looked up into his eyes. He smirked. “See? Submissive.”

I pushed him back away from me, feeling irritated. “Oh, shut it.”

He chuckled. “Don’t feel bad. You come by it honestly. Your mum’s one, too.”

“Excuse me? How could you possibly know that?” Okay, he wasn’t wrong. I’ve known my parents were D/s since I found the ball-gag and paddle in their closet, but it baffled me that he figured it out so quick.

“Her choker, which says ‘Doll’, I believe. Don’t worry. I won’t make you wear one.”

I rolled my eyes. “Come on, Tom. You know I wouldn’t wear anything I didn’t want to.”

“But you’d want to if I gave it to you, wouldn’t you?” He smiled. “There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it.”

I sighed. “Yeah, I know that. Fine, but… we have to have a talk about what I’m okay with… establish safe words and whatnot.”

“Tonight. For now, I’d like to take you and Nova to lunch.” He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'd been home, chilling with Tom and Nova and my parents, for a few weeks when a fan sent me a link on Twitter to a tumblr post titled 'A theory that's gonna get me a lot of hate: Jensen Ackles cheated on his wife.'

I clung to the word 'theory' as I started to read.

'I know people are gonna give me shit about this and I kinda feel like a tin-hat by saying it, but I think it's different because it seems like the tin-hats want what they're saying to be true and I hope I'm wrong. But let's check the receipts, okay?

A year and a few months ago, y/f/n y/l/n joined the show. An incredibly attractive young actress who is a documented Jensen stan (About 24:30 on this video, where she talks about almost passing out the first time she met him). That is the story of a woman who'd sell her soul to a demon for a single night with the man she's describing, but somehow they ended up friends?

Okay. We might be able to chalk that up to Jensen's welcoming nature, I guess, but it's kinda weird that Jared and Jensen don't hang out with their other friends like they did with y/n. Even with misha, we don't get a lot of pictures of them hanging out off-set or away from conventions. She partied with them, hung out on set even on days she didn’t need to be there, ate lunch or dinner with them every freaking day, ran lines in Jensen's trailer (this video where she talks about running lines). I'm gonna call this 'The Buttering-up' stage. Jensen knew she had terrible self-esteem (about 34:10 into this video) and he had to get her comfy around him before he came onto her, or she'd never believe it.

I think it probably started right before or right after JaxCon, 'cause that's when she moved into his apartment in Vancouver. (this clip from SeaCon). Come on! They were roommates! (cue tumblr echo: They were roommates!) and over the next eight months we were treated to pictures like this: Standing way too close together to be innocent, inappropriate skin contact, is that his hand on her ass while they're singing 'Hotel California'? I think it is! Is that his hand on her thigh in this steakhouse in Vancouver? Looks like it, to me. Oh, and this scene from the season 13 blu-ray extras. Check the background. I can't be the only one who sees how sexually aggressive that stance is. That's a stance that screams, 'I'm gonna fuck you 'til you can't walk straight'. If this were a sexual harassment seminar, that'd be the 'what not to do' with your way younger coworker who idolizes you and whom you have the power to get fired. This stance is a 'Me Too Movement' no-no.

Eight months of that shit, then nothing. Since AtlCon, since y/n's birthday, they've all but ignored each other. No fun back-and-forths on Twitter, no lunches where they sit too close together, no singing together at Saturday Night Special... hell, she's been put down as 'Friday/Saturday only' for the next several cons and she was seen loading all of her stuff up into a storage pod a couple weeks after her birthday. Their 'friendship' seems to be dead.

So, what happened? Tom Hiddleston happened. I know y/n says they're just friends, but she sang that duet with him, and you could totally tell there was attraction there. And not a half an hour later, several volunteers and vendors take to Twitter to say y/n and Jensen were fighting. One said he heard Jensen say, "I love you. You know that." Then, she forgoes her normal Reba or Heart song to sing Sugarland's 'Stay' for the SNS. For those that don't know, that's a song about the other woman ending an affair because she deserves more out of life. Coincidence? Maybe.

Maybe this is all bullshit and my brain's making patterns where there are none. But maybe Jensen's a human being who doesn't get to see his wife very often and he did something stupid. Maybe y/n was just as lonely, if not more so (I mean, she has been divorced for years and has said that she hasn't had so much as a boyfriend since her divorce). Maybe she couldn't say no to Jensen fucking Ackles, because who the fuck could? Maybe they had an affair that ended when she met Tom Hiddleston. Maybe that's why it seems like they haven't spoken in two months.

Or maybe they're still good friends and her work with Marvel is keeping her too busy to hang. Maybe they were never as good of friends as they made it seem. Maybe I’m just completely wrong about all of this, but look at it. It makes sense.

I read over it, looked at all of the pictures, my heart pounding in my chest. I wasn’t sure what to do, so I sent the link to Jared with a half dozen exclamation points. Twenty minutes of pacing in my parents’ kitchen later, Jared called. “That’s crazy.”

“That’s all you’ve got to say to me? ‘That’s crazy’?”

Jared chuckled in my ear. “Y/n, she’s got nothin’ but fuckin’ theories. She has no evidence. All of her pictures are blurry. It’s conjecture.”

“But she’s right! How could she be so fucking right?”

“‘Cause some of our fans are really fucking smart, y/n, and they’ve got active and creative imaginations. I mean, you’ve read the fanfictions… you’ve written the fanfictions. Jensen says not to worry about it.”

I bit my lip and sighed, thinking about Jensen’s reaction to it. “How is he?” I couldn’t help but ask.

There was a moment of silence before he sighed. “He misses you. He seems kinda depressed.” I took a deep breath to stave off the feeling of guilt. “He’s drinking a lot… and for a guy who owns a fucking brewery, a lot is… a lot.”

“You have to stop him, Jare. You need to-”

“Don’t act like I’m not the one here trying to help him, y/n. I am. I have been trying to help him, but he’s… he’s been resistant. Which, you know, isn’t your fault, but-”

“I know you’re there for him, Jared, it’s just… maybe he needs a break. Maybe you could talk to Dabb for him. Maybe they could give him a few weeks. Or maybe...” I rolled my eyes. “You know how he gets when he doesn’t have any stress relief. He probably just needs to get laid. Help him find a new one.”

“A new you?”

“Yeah. A new mistress. Someone pretty.” I looked down. “Prettier than me. Pretty like Danneel.”

“It's not that easy, y/n. He can't just find someone to replace you. Do you realize how long it took to find someone he was attracted to that his wife approved of? Someone who would work to keep it under wraps, who'd freak out if a fan started rumors? You were a fuckin’ unicorn for him. There’s not gonna be another you.” I shook my head. That really wasn’t what I wanted to hear. “And, look, I’m not trying to make you feel bad, I understand why you had to leave, but… you’re irreplaceable and Jensen’s just gonna have to deal with it.”

“Yeah. Okay. Look, I gotta go. If Jensen’s not worried about it… if you think I shouldn’t be worried, then I won’t worry. Give my love to Gen and the kids.”

“Hey.” Jared’s voice made me stall my hang-up procedure.

“Yeah?”

“I miss you, too, ya know? You should call me more often.”

I nodded. “Yeah. I will. And you’ll see me in a few weeks. I got a few shooting days before my Marvel press tour, and after that I’m gonna be back in VanCity.”

“Can’t wait to see ya, y/n.”

���Try to get Jensen okay before I get there. Please?”

“I’m tryin’.”

“All right. See ya, Jare.”

“See ya.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few days later, I walked into the house after having made a trip to the Wal-mart up the street. "Us Weekly thinks I'm stalking you." I said, making a beeline for the table, where Tom sat with a cup of tea and his newest script. I dropped the Walmart bags on the table and took the seat next to him.

"Oh, do they?"

"Yeah. Apparently, we're always at the same places because I'm obsessed with you and you're too polite to tell me to fuck off."

"Well, they're half right. You are obsessed with me." He smirked as he set his script down and picked up the teacup. "We wouldn't have this problem if you'd let me make the announcement."

I shook my head. "I told you, Tom, your fans scare me. Besides, both of our last relationships were spectacular failures. This way, if something goes wrong, we don't have to deal with-"

"What could go wrong?"

"You could walk." I said, looking away from him.

"You think I'm going to leave you, like Nate did." He said, setting the teacup on the table and looking across at me.

I felt small under his gaze and swallowed. "Like every other person I've ever dated." I stood and grabbed the bags. "If we don't tell anybody that we're dating, then I don't have to deal with the pity when it ends. I don't have to be the woman who chased away Tom Hiddleston."

There was a moment of silence before he picked up his script again. "I understand.” He said, in a voice that said he didn’t understand.

“Tom.”

“You have a parent-teacher conference to attend, don’t you?” He reminded me, coldly.

“Yeah.” I leaned forward. “Are you mad at me?”

His eyes flashed to mine. “You’d know if your master were mad, wouldn’t you, Dear?” He asked, voice low, using my sub name. Exactly.

“Yes, sir.”

“Then, go to your meeting.” He ordered. I nodded, standing. “Do not touch your ex-husband.”

“Yes, sir.” I wasn’t planning to.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I turned my phone back on after the parent-teacher conference, my Twitter app had so many notifications it just said ‘99+’. Facebook Mentions was the same. The source? A status update to Tom's seldom-updated Facebook page. My mouth went dry as I read his words.

   '6 months ago saw a rewrite to the Marvel Cinematic Shorts Anthology script, which brought a new minor character. Kevin Feige knew who he wanted in the role before the script was even done being altered; a relatively unknown actress with a single acting credit to her name- y/f/n y/l/n. I was immediately drawn to the woman and asked her for drinks before we'd finished in Hair and Makeup the morning I met her. I'd fallen in love before the week was out. Y/n is a private woman, not used to being so in the public eye, so I acceded to her request for discretion, portraying myself as her friend whenever someone might be looking. I tried to convince her several times that we should go public over the past 2 months and she dismissed each attempt. This morning I discovered the reason. She's expecting I will leave. She doesn't want anyone profiting on her heartbreak or to give them a reason to judge or, worse, pity her. But I'm not planning to leave. I have no desire to be another on her short list of past relationships. I've resisted the urge to shout the truth of my heart from the rooftops, but no longer. I'm in love with this sweet Southern woman and leaving her is not an option for my heart.'

Accompanying the status was a picture Tom took in his room at the Ritz; me, in just panties and his ratty black t-shirt (which came to my mid-thigh), looking out the bedroom window at the lights of downtown Atlanta. It was one of his favorite pictures of me, which he'd taken the Sunday after ATLcon.

I didn't go through too many of the comments, but the few I looked at were positive notes congratulating Tom on his happiness. A few said, "Who wouldn't want the world to know they were dating Tom?" and then came the SPN Family with, "She's a divorced Mom who probably doesn't want the media to descend upon her private life like the vultures they are. Also, she probably doesn't feel like she deserves him." and links to con videos where I talk about being fat, depressed, having low self-esteem and the toxic relationship I had with Nate.

When I switched to Twitter, the story was different. Most of the mentions were something along the lines of '@taylorswift13 have u heard about @twhiddleston and @y/l/n_y/n?' Taylor responded with, 'Uh, excuse me, but #whothehellisy/l/n_y/n?' The Swifties ran with the hashtag and 'whothehellisy/l/n_y/n' was trending by the time I got to Twitter. I responded with '@taylorswift13 Big Fan since 'Tim McGraw'. I'm an actor no one's heard of. If i catch the meaning behind your tag, you want to know 1/2' then I replied to it. 'How an absolute nobody ended up with a man who used to be yours. Honestly, I'm just as lost as you are. #sonotworthy. 2/2'

I was hoping that a modest and non-confrontational response was the best way to go. I got in my car and drove home, seething. When I walked into the house, I slammed the door behind me. Tom walked into the living room as I dropped my purse and jacket on the couch. He was dressed in my favorite dark grey suit and had his hair the way I like. Trying to minimize my anger through looking like a damn dream. "I'm so sorry." He said.

"You just flipped my life on its end and all you have to say to me is 'sorry'?"

"I understand how livid you must be, y/n, but-"

"'Livid' isn't even a strong enough word, Tom, but I'm so ticked off that I can't think of a stronger one! My name is trending on Twitter, I've had more Mentions in the past hour than I have since joining the site, your fans are probably plotting my death as we speak, a picture that you took in an intimate setting is now forever on the internet and Taylor Swift followed me just so that she could DM me. She's delightful, by the way, wants to have drinks next time I'm in Nashville. Oh, and there wasn't any kind of upset at the White House or a police shooting or terror attack today, so guess what the late night talk shows are gonna be monloguein' 'bout? Thank God you posted that status early enough for them to get in on this!"

He sighed. "I suppose it was a very dramatic and public way to go about it, but it was best to get it done, get it out of the way and move on. I’m just trying to do what’s best for you. Sometimes, you need that. Dear.” The word made me want to slip into that sub persona, but I fought it. He doesn’t get to do the voice and look at me with those stupid blue eyes and then everything’s okay. “We'll be a hot topic for a few weeks and then, people won't care until there's a ring on your finger."

"Don't talk about getting married when I'm still so angry with you!" I paced in front of him, angrily. "You completely disregarded my wishes. We talked about it for months and I never wanted people to know, what would make you-"

He grabbed my arm as I paced, stopping me in front of him. "I couldn't stand it, anymore. I love you and I can't pretend I don't, any longer. I want people to ask me 'Why her?' so I can tell them every single thing I adore about you. I want to fly you and Nova to London for a long weekend and hold the hands of my two favorite girls as we walk down Oxford Street and I buy you whatever your heart desires. I couldn't keep this to myself, anymore, especially after finding out that you only wanted it secret so that it'd be easier for me to leave you." He ran his hands down my arms. "I'm not leaving."

"Fuck." I looked up into his eyes. "You suck."

He smiled. "You love me."

"You better be glad I do. I wouldn't tolerate this shit if I didn't."

"I'm ecstatic to be recipient of your love." He said, leaning down to kiss me. I pulled away and grabbed the remote from the coffee table. "What are you doing?"

"I'm setting the DVR to record Conan, Colbert, Fallon, Kimmel and Corden. They're gonna be talking about me and I wanna see what they say."

"You don't need to-"

I put my hand up as he spoke. "I deserve to know, Tom. Don't argue with me on this."

"All right. Once you've set that up, will you please come have a cuppa with me?"

"You can make me a cup of vanilla chamomile with honey. I'll be in there in a minute."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kimmel had poked fun at me, like I'd assumed he would. I'm a witch, so I must've cast a spell on him, according to the first Jimmy. Fallon was a bit nicer, mostly just questioning who the heck I am. Colbert said he liked a mystery and was excited that I was part of the MCU Cinematic Shorts promotional tour coming through next week. Conan was more interested in Taylor's hashtag and my humble response, what I must've said in the DMs to get her to retract her dismissive attitude.

But Corden, oh James fucking Corden... Were I not already a fan, his mono would have made me one. "World War III didn't start today, North Korea hasn't bombed us, yet, and there weren't any resignations from the White House, so we get to discuss something far more important than any of that: Tom Hiddleston and his new girlfriend." The audience laughed. "Now, you might have noticed that the hashtag 'whothehellisy/l/n_y/n' was trending on Twitter most of the day and that was in response to Tom Hiddleston's declaration of love on Facebook. A lot of people, Tom's ex Taylor Swift included, have never heard of the young woman who's playing opposite him in the next Marvel movie. We at The Late Late Show are on fairly late, though, so we had more time before shooting to look into the question of 'who the hell is y/l/n y/n?'. Y/l/n_y/n is the Twitter handle of this woman, y/f/n y/l/n." He held up a picture of me, a headshot that I had taken by Stardust & Melancholy. "She's 29 years old, a divorced single mother who has only two acting credits on her Internet Movie Database page. She has a small but loyal fanbase made up of people who watch the show she was on: Supernatural. She's spoken, at length, about her marriage and her poor self esteem and she's just..." He dropped the picture to the stage.

"I don't have jokes. Y/f/n is so certain that Tom is going to leave her that she didn't want people to even know that she was dating him. She's certain that she's not good enough, not perfect enough, and that's why he told the world but I've been the chubby kid on this playground we call 'Hollywood' and I have doubted many good things that happened to me because this society has told me that good things would never happen to me. Miss y/l/n has captured the attention of one of Britain's best, a man so at home in a Shakespearean tragedy that I thought he actually was King Henry when I met him. You deserve the good, Miss y/l/n. You deserve the happiness. And I deserve an invite to the wedding."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"That wasn't so bad, was it?" Tom asked, cuddling into my back wrapping his arms around me.

"No, but you do know that there's going to be paparazzi here in a couple days, right? Like, all over the place."

"Yes. Perhaps we should get one of the rentals on the beach. Better security."

"We'd have to drive Nova to school in the morning."

"I think it'd be better."

"Yeah, but I think it'd be a waste. You want a condo? Research, do it right. Get a good one. I mean, I'm going to Vancouver in two days to shoot, then we're going on the press tour for the movie. We've got time to find a good condo, maybe on the Island, maybe Destin. There's some good places in Navarre and Bluewater. Gulf Breeze. Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked as he rolled on top of me and stared down at me.

"I love you." He said, simply.

"I love you, too." I responded.

"You're making plans. A place that's ours, here."

"And in London." I whispered. "I know that's where you'd prefer. Your theatres are there."

"But Nate would never allow you to move Nova across the Atlantic."

"Hence, a condo here and a place in London. We'll just have to figure it out as we go along."

"I'd like nothing more."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tom and I went to the airport together. He was flying back to London, I was flying to Vancouver. We’d meet in New York for our Late Show appearance in a week. He handed me a box when we got to the airport. I opened it to reveal a bracelet, a simple thick band made of leather with ‘TOM’S’ stamped into it. “You can wear it upside-down, if you want. As long as you know what it means.” I stared down at it for a moment and he plucked it out of the box. “I told you I wouldn’t make you wear a choker, Dear, but I want you to remember… while you’re away from me… who you belong to.”

“You think, ‘cause I’m away from you…”

“I think you’re going to be in the same building as Jensen and I want you to have a reminder on your wrist of who you are. My Dear. Mine.” His long fingers attached the leather band upside-down on my wrist. “Don’t take it off unless you have to for a scene and if you do have to remove it, you put it right back on afterward. Do you understand?”

I nodded. “Yes, sir.”

“Good girl.” He whispered, pushing his hand into my hair and pulling me into a deep kiss. I could hear camera shutters across the way but I tried to ignore it. That was going to be a part of my life for the rest of my career and relationship. “I love you.”

“I love you, too. Call me when you land?”

“Of course.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Vancouver seemed like a different place when I got there. It was like I was a visitor in my own home. People were staring at me, I felt uncomfortable, I just wanted to go back to where it was safe in Tom’s arms.

Jared rushed to Hair and Makeup when he heard I was on the lot. “Hey! You’re here!”

His happy face and warm eyes washed away some of my discomfort. “Yeah. A couple days of Second Unit stuff before I go on promo tour for Marvel.”

“Well, it’s good to have you back, even for a couple days.” He smirked. “So, that Facebook post, huh?”

I rolled my eyes, picking at the metal fastener on my bracelet. “He thought it was the best thing to do.”

“But obviously, you don’t agree.” Jared said, dropping into the empty chair next to me.

“Well, I don’t always make the best decisions, you know. Tom is better at that stuff.”

“I don’t know. I thought you were doing pretty fuckin’ good with decisions over the last couple years. I mean, you were making your life better.”

“Also making it worse… and certain other peoples’ lives.” I shrugged. “Sometimes I just need to have someone help me figure out what to do.”

“Yeah. Okay.” Jared seemed skeptical of my words. Well, they were actually Tom’s words, but whatever. “Hey, you should come to dinner with me tonight. You’re only in town for a couple days. I haven’t gotten to see you in a couple months. We gotta catch up.”

I nodded. “Okay. As long as… as long as it’s just the two of us.”

“Uh, yeah. Jensen’ll understand.” Jared said, standing. “Gotta go. I’ll text when I’m ready to get food.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dinner was actually a very, very late drink and some bar grub at Black Bear Pub. “So, what’s he like, huh?”

“Tom?”

“Yeah, Tom. He, like, fuckin’ swept in and stole you away so he’s gotta be really fuckin’ amazing, right?”

“He didn’t steal me away, J-pad. Come on.”

“Kinda did, y/n. And I’m not even talking about him stealing you from Jensen. I’m talking… how much time have you spent with the Wayward Women lately? How much time have you spent with anyone other than Tom?”

I shrugged. “You remember how the honeymoon phase goes.”

“Well, I miss you. Kim and Bri and Rob and Rich, they miss you, too.”

“They see me more than you do.”

“They say you’re not really there when you’re there.”

I picked at the bracelet again. “I’ve just had a lot on my mind, you know. Between what happened with Jensen and fighting Nate for custody and trying to hide my relationship and recently dealing with the aftermath of his Facebook bullshit… I’ve just got a lot going on.” I picked up my drink and took a sip.

Jared watched my face for a few moments. “But you are happy, though… right?”

I smiled. “Yeah. I am. He’s a great guy. He’s incredibly intelligent, attractive, and nice. He wants… everything for me. He’s helping me with my career. He’s helping me get out of my parents’ house. I mean…” I looked down, rubbing my fingers over the bracelet. “It’s not just about what he’s doing for me. He makes me feel like everything’s gonna be okay, like I’m gonna be okay. He’s this incredibly calming force. He makes me feel safe just by being around me. Everything’s controlled with him. Even the chaos is controlled chaos.”

Jared nodded. “Okay. Long as you’re happy.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I got to the hotel in New York, Tom greeted me in the lobby. Cameras went off outside the door as he wrapped his arms around me, but they weren’t allowed in the building. “I’ve already checked us in. Let’s go up to the room.”

“Okay.”

He picked up my bag and we headed to the elevators. “So, how was Vancouver?”

“It was good. It was weird, but good.”

“And did you see any of your old friends?” His tone was clipped. He was trying to sound conversational, but he was definitely asking if I’d seen Jensen and he was already teetering on upset at the thought that I might have.

“Just Jared. He took me to get a drink.” I hit the call button for the elevator and turned to look up at him. “Jensen was shooting on location with Samantha this week so he was easy to avoid.”

Tom smiled, brightly. “And how are you liking your bracelet?” He asked, taking my hand in his and sliding the sleeve of my jacket down my arm. He smiled to see it still on my wrist. “Did you have to take it off, at all?”

“Yeah. For work. Tara wears rose quartz beads on her wrist. I smoothed it out and tucked it in my bra, though, when I couldn’t wear it. Figured it still served its purpose of reminding me if it were next to my heart.”

“And you put it right back on your wrist as soon as you were done?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good girl.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Getting out of the back of the Town Car with Tom's hand in mine was new and it was nice until one of the women in the crowd outside of Ed Sullivan Theater with Tom's face on her t-shirt shouted out that 'the piggy should just up and die!'. Tom wrapped his arms around me and refused to sign anything for anyone in the crowd. I heard from security a few minutes later that they had to break up a fight because the woman was being assaulted for causing everyone else to lose their interaction with Tom. Tom was soothing me when we entered the green room. Sebastian Stan and Anthony Mackey stopped talking when we walked in. "Sebastian! Anthony! Good to see you!"

"Don't think we didn't notice you hijacked our press tour with your Facebook Romeo bullshit." Mackey said, sitting up to grasp Tom's hand.

"If he's Romeo, that makes me Juliet. I don't wanna be Juliet. She's a whiny little teenager. Can I be Mercutio?"

"Only if I can be Tybalt." Sebastian answered, reaching his hand out to shake mine.

"You wanna kill me, already? We just met." I joked.

"Hey!" Anthony slapped Sebastian's shoulder. "I thought we were reserving judgment, man. That is not your 'reserving judgment' face."

"What? She's funny."

"That means a lot, coming from you. I am a big fan."

"Yeah?"

"Definitely. I mean, I watched 'I, Tonya' and I give zero fucks about Tonya Harding. Also, Political Animals, even though it caused fights between me and my mom." I turned to Mackey. "And, of course, 'Detroit' was amazing!"

"You saw it?"

"Oh, yeah. It was super informative. No one ever thought to explain to me why the Detroit riots happened."

"Well, if it gets folks talking..."

"Yeah, definitely. ‘course, it's harder to talk to some folks than others. My mom is one of those folks who thinks that just because she didn't realize there was a race issue when she was growing up in Compton in the 70s, that means it didn't exist."

"Oh, so she didn't know there was a race issue 'cause she's a bigot?" Anthony concluded.

I nodded. "Yeah, pretty much. Two California-raised conservatives who voted for McCain and Trump ended up raising a trio of Liberal-leaning Independents who voted for Obama and Clinton. They're so confused."

"Must be a hard household to live in." Sebastian commented.

"Definitely. One I still live in, unfortunately. Had to move back after the divorce ‘cause I didn’t have any money and now, just haven't had the time since I got the money."

"We're working on that." Tom cut in, with a sigh.

"Tom gets so uncomfortable when my mom and I start in on each other about politics." I said, with a smile. "He's so non-confrontational about things like that."

"Yeah, he's British, what do you expect?" Sebastian said.

"I don't really get that. You know the Brits kinda ruled the world through conquest and confrontation for hundreds of years, right?"

"Oh, she's pullin' out history!" Mackey responded.

"I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but once the Queen gave up power to Parliament, that's when the whole super-polite, non-confrontational thing got its legs. I, however, know that there are confrontational Brits. I’ve had a bunch of women spewing hate at me since Tom’s little announcement."

"Wow." Sebastian said.

"Yeah, Tom’s fans are not… not happy with me. Anyway..." I leaned against Tom and he wrapped his arms around me. "I know Colbert is gonna want us to talk about us but I will redirect the conversation as fast as possible."

"Sounds good." Anthony said, nodding.

Open Tags-  @angelessquirrel @mirandaaustin93 @supernatural-bellawinchester @mannls @jerkbitchidjitassbutt @nanie5 @super-fics

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[alittlebugsheadx]

Till the end

This slow burn fic is very different to my other pieces but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. I’m adapting @itsnotoktohit ‘s idea :) X

#1

“Alright, Archie why have you summoned me here?” The beanie-clad boy asked, resting against the wall closest to the door. His eyes were dark and narrowed, clearly conveying his frustration, which her presence essentially brought out. He looked like he was ready to bolt any second. She took in his appearance for a quick moment, not having actually been in such close proximity with him since...the breakup. His hat sat perfectly, protecting his dark curls. His eye bags had gotten worse, his eyes bloodshot with annoyance and tiredness, she guessed. Annoyance at the world her. His brows furrowed with irritation and his arm crossed over his chest defensively. His leather jacket still looked good fitting around his arms: she reminded herself that he was an absolute prick.

She scoffed, rolling her eyes, “Typical.”

“Excuse me?” He retorted. They always had been quick with each other.

She narrowed her own eyes, “I said typical, that you, Forsythe Pendleton Jones the third would think the world revolves around you, when in all fairness, we were all ‘summoned’.” She enunciated every syllable of his name just to piss him off further.

He grimaced at the use of his full name, “Typical of you to feel the need to comment on that.” In his head he cringed at his lame comeback but truth be told, he couldn’t quite think straight with her hands on her hips, in that little outfit. He hated thinking about what she was doing now that he wasn’t holding her down; who she was doing.

Before Betty could reply, Veronica looked up from her phone asking for a charger. She had been quietly sitting in the corner desk, texting away. Betty lent her one and awaited Archie’s speech.

“So are you going to get to the point today, Archiekins?” The raven-haired girl sat with her legs crossed by the plug socket charging her phone, admiring her nails, “Because some of us don’t actually have all day.”

Jughead couldn’t help but feel that was a dig at him when she gave him a glare. He knew the two girls hated him, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t reciprocated. The faster Archie got to the point the quicker he would be able to exit their presence.

Archie seemed distracted observing Betty’s small actions, such as redoing her ponytail or pressing down the creases of her Vixen skirt. This bothered Jughead because, whilst he was his oldest friend and he knew his best friend would never intentionally hurt him, Archie had a weak spot when it came to girls. Jughead and Betty had...history, so to speak, but Archie was a forgetful boy, who would honestly not recognise the uncomfort he would cause for Jughead by making a move on his...ex.

The only term you can describe her with a possessive adjective. How depressing.

The redhead cleared his throat, “Right, yeah, sorry, my point...so basically...I think...I think I want to pursue a music career...like I want to work on that again...I know it kind of died last time I tried, because I got caught up with...well, stuff with my dad and all...but I seriously think I can do it now, like I have the time...I just...What do you guys think?”

The apprehension was so clear in his brown eyes it was actually painful.

Veronica burst out laughing.

Betty bit her grin back.

Jughead raised his eyebrows, expressing a hint of amusement.

“What? What’s so funny?” He immediately asked, getting defensive as his cheeks burned red.

“Nothing-it’s not-it’s not funny-that’s not why-“ Veronica managed to get out.

Betty put a hand on his shoulder, redirecting his attention, and Jughead couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy. She looked so soft with him, so careful, so sweet. And the way he responded...his features immediately calmed down a notch. She just had that effect. This is what he had lost.

Well maybe if it was so easy to lose, he never really had it?

“It isn’t funny. It’s just slightly...you called this meeting because of your new hobby, right? I think we were just expecting something a bit more...” she spoke carefully and gently, thinking about the right words.

She never had to think about what she said with Jughead.

“Serious,” Jughead blurted. She shot him a glare which he ignored.

Archie blushed even more, practically becoming a tomato, “I just wanted...I just wanted support. I wanted to see what you guys thought? Like if I could do it or not. If it’s stupid or...Well, I guess it is.”

Veronica straightened her face, and the atmosphere of the room changed, “You can do it, Arch. I know you can. You do have a beautiful voice. But be prepared for a lot of teasing, okay? A major Troy Bolton moment like this never goes unnoticed.”

“Thanks Ronnie,” he gave her a smile of gratitude before turning to Jughead.

The moody boy sighed, “She’s right about the teasing. Look, man, if it’s what you want to do, go for it. You know I’ll always support you.”

But you couldn’t support me, Betty thought to herself when she caught eye contact with the brooding boy. He seemed to read her mind as he averted his gaze.

Betty wanted to make a snide remark about what his ‘always’ meant but she bit her lip for the sake of her red headed friend.

“Thanks man,” the two did that man hug thing with the fist bump before the pats on the backs. He then turned to Betty.

She smiled at him and Jughead couldn’t help but wonder, was that how she used to smile at him? Or was it different? Was she just the definition of fake? How could she so easily replicate a look? Was it even a replicate? He had forgotten the way he used to make her smile and that alone tugged at his heartstrings.

He despised Betty Cooper and the way, even after their desastrous ending, she had an effect on him like no one else.

“Betty,” the nervous boy awaited her response, hope in his eyes.

She grinned, “Of course you can do it! I know you can, Arch. You’re going to be great.” She didn’t have to say much to make him rejoice. Jughead understood that, just her smile was enough.

She squealed when he lifted her off her feet for a big hug, before saying, “I do have one question though...”

“Shoot,” he put her down on her feet.

“Why was it so necessary for you to call this meeting in the middle of lunch? Like why not just tell us at the table or something?”

‘Us’.

That kind of stung.

Ever since Betty and Jughead’s split, Jughead hadn’t found the need to sit with them at lunch: he didn’t fancy sitting with the jocks like Reggie or mean girls like Cheryl. Besides he didn’t fit in. He knew that. But for her to distinctly say ‘us’ without acknowledging Jughead at all caused him to feel a sharp pain in his organ called the heart.

“Well, to be honest, I didn’t want to be laughed at straight away,” he shot a glare at Veronica who shot her hands up in defense, “and well, if you guys thought I couldn’t do it...well I don’t think I would pursue it and that would just be embarrassing. So basically I just wanted to see your opinions on it first.”

Betty gave him another encouraging smile before enveloping him in a hug.

Veronica wasnt exactly paying much attention to their PDA as she was currently texting, her girlfriend most likely, leaving Jughead standing awkwardly by himself. He didn’t really know where to look but they were just hugging.

They were still just hugging.

He shuffled his feet uncomfortably.

How long does a hug take?

Apparently 8 years 268 days and 15 hours by the looks of it.

Does he need to be here to watch?

Or can he just leave?

Have they just forgotten about his presence then?

Well, most people do.

Jughead didn’t know what she saw in him. To be honest, he didn’t even know what was going on between them. Archie would tell him if they were dating, right? Or would he get nervous it would get weird between him and Jughead then?

What did Betty see in him anyway? He was just a major player. Yes, he was his best friend, but when it came to girls he was careless. Betty, despite being ignorant and a pain in his ass, didn’t deserve that.

It didn’t help that they hadn’t actually reconciled after their breakup-it was still raw and recent. Jughead was still hurting, a lot, but apparently Betty was over it.

Maybe she was just like the other preppy, cheerleaders.

Jughead knew better than that but maybe trying to believe that would make it easier.

Betty pulled away and immediately caught eye contact with Jughead. She looked guilty when his own dark eyes peered into hers in that brief few seconds.

She swallowed and looked away.

Why was she looking guilty?

Archie had been talking but apparently no one was actually listening to him. Veronica was preoccupied and Betty was looking at the floor to the right of her, deep in thought. But Jughead caught onto the last of his little monologue as he joked, “Alright then guys, you are free to leave.”

Jughead did his best to hold in his exasperated sigh of relief as he turned round to face the door, only to nearly be hit in the face by it. The door swung open to reveal Reggie.

“Dude! Do you know what’s going on?” He exclaimed. Alarm was written across his face as he entered the room.

He was quickly followed by a trio of Kevin, Sweet Pea and Fangs. Betty raised her eyebrow at this odd grouping, “What-“

“Betty!” Kevin took her in a huge hug, out of relief. “I have no idea what’s going on, but it looks like a massive storm or something. But there are all these bugs and shit, I don’t know. Principal Weatherbee gave me a bunch of fliers to hand out, here’s one I have left.”

“Stay where you are.

We will come and find you to give you supplies.

Do not panic.

There has been a weather warning regarding an extreme effect of climate change over a short period of time. This included fires breaking out, floods, volcanic eruptions, hurricanes and others. There has also been an outbreak of a certain toxic gas across the town. The source is unknown. There may also been unclassified insects free in the air. Stay indoors till further updates.

You will be seen to shortly.

Do not panic.”