#but then again the rest of it is here so yeah whatever im keeping it vague for now

[tgcg]

the master baiter

TG: dont be mad

TG: ok thats like asking water not to be wet but

CG: WATER ISN'T FUCKING WET GOD DAMMIT.

TG: look whatever remember when you said you would die for me

TG: is that karkat in the room with us right now

======

CG: I'M DYING "FOR YOU" EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU PEEL OPEN THOSE SHIT-EATING LIPS YOU KEEP PULLED TAUT OVER YOUR DRONING IGNORANCE SHAFT.

TG: heheheh

======

CG: YOUR WORDSLUDGE SPEARS EVERY PARTICLE OF MY BODY WITH PINPOINT STRIDERIAN IDIOCY.

TG: oh shit here we go

CG: A VERBAL BARRAGE THAT PULVERIZES MY FLESH INTO A FINE RED MIST, KILLING ME INSTANTLY. WIPING ME THE FUCK OUT, TO SUCH AN INCREDIBLE DEGREE THAT PALEONTOLOGISTS CAN'T FULLY DISCERN IF A "KARKAT" FUCKING EXISTED IN THE FIRST PLACE.

CG: THEY'D BE SCRATCHING THEIR NUGBONES OVER IT FOR FUCKING SWEEPS, IF NOT FOR THE SHOCKING REALIZATION MERE MINUTES INTO THEIR DEBATES THAT NOBODY ACTUALLY GAVE A SHIT.

======

CG: AND YET THE TEMPORAL DEVICE STILL SWAYS TO AND FRO IN CONSTERNATION. VEXED BY THE COMPLETE MENTAL VACANCY PUT BEFORE IT BY MY HUMBLE SACRIFICE, BOUND BY ITS COSMIC ROLE, BEGRUDGED BY MY UNSOLICITED DEATH CLOCKING IT INTO OVERTIME. IT HAS BETTER SHIT TO DO, GOD DAMMIT! IT HAS A LUSUS AND A HIVE TO GET BACK TO!

CG: "WHAT IS THIS. WHO LET THIS ASSHOLE IN HERE," IT SAYS. THEY AREN'T EVEN QUESTIONS, JUST ORBITAL SIGHS OF AN UNCARING UNIVERSE. A REALITY NOW KEENLY AWARE OF ITS OWN LAUGH TRACK.

CG: AND ITS PENDULUM TEETERS, TENTATIVE IN ITS OWN DISBELIEF AND PROFOUND APATHY.

TG: damn

======

CG: "THIS SCUMBAG ISN'T EVEN GODTIER YET," IT POINTS OUT. THE AUDIENCE FLIPS THEIR COLLECTIVE SHIT, AGHAST AT THIS REVELATION.

TG: hahaha

CG: IT WELLS UP SUCH A THRUM OF FUCKING ENNUI THAT THE TIMEPIECE FLIPS OFF-KILTER, LANDING SQUARELY IN THE "DUMBASS" ZONE WITH A "FUCK IT" LOUD ENOUGH TO REVERBERATE THROUGHOUT PARADOX SPACE.

======

CG: IT THEN ELECTS TO KICK MY PATHETIC FUCKING HALF-CORPSE BACK INTO THE LIVING PLANE AND FORCE ME, VENGEFULLY FROM THE AUDACITY OF MY OWN IDIOCY, TO REPEAT THIS CYCLE AD NAUSEAM

CG: UNTIL EXISTENCE ITSELF FINALLY CROAKS UNDER THE COMBINED WEIGHT OF OUR COLOSSAL STUPIDITY.

CG: BECAUSE WHO THE FUCK WOULD I BE IF I EVER GOT TO HAVE A BREAK?

======

TG: yep there he is thats him offincer

TG: the man after my own heart

TG: thats a karkat brand "soft yes" if i ever heard one and i know my karkatisms dude im a goddamn graduate in karkatology

TG: i got my degree in this shit

TG: im rocking up to our convos with the dumbass black square hat thing cocked 45 degrees

TG: literally incapable of snapping it back kinda by design of the stupid thing but damn if im not doing it anyways im emanating the snappitudes

TG: im rocking my intelligence right now

TG: also water is absolutely wet dude its like the wettest thing on the planet

CG: I'M NOT REPEATING MYSELF AGAIN

TG: yeah you are

CG: FUCK. I AM.

======

CG: I SAID THE LAST THREE TIMES IT'S A CONDITIONAL TERM--

TG: and im saying its common sense like being wet isnt conditional when youre the perpetual thing of wettening

CG: NO

TG: and brother it is THE wet

TG: like following your conditional argument

TG: if water isnt wet then the other water molecules are constantly making each other fuckin wet so its a moot point

TG: great philosophical debate

TG: which came first the water or the wet?

CG: DAVE

TG: think about it all those particles are wetting each other up all the time and shit

TG: its a fucked up display

CG: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

======

TG: pretty much a perpetual orgy of the elements

CG: DUDE.

TG: that sounds kinda sick actually if you dont think about what it means

TG: h2orgy

CG: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO VETO THIS STUPID DISCUSSION--

TG: tell me im wrong dude

CG: I'M UNIVERSE-APPOINTED TO HOVER AROUND YOU POINTING OUT EVERY DUMBASS TAKE YOU HAVE FOR THE REST OF TIME.

TG: thats so beautiful to me

TG: i could cry

[rafeandonlyrafe]

silent treatment

words: 900

warnings: drug dealer rafe, established relationship, arguing but its very fluffy throughout and never actually serious

taglist: @drewstarkeyslut @thelomlisrafecameron @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @winterrrnight @drudyslut @drewsbabygirll @jjmaybankswifes-blog @rafescokenostril @jjsmarijuana @jjmaybankisbae @seeingstarks @angelofcigs @cece45450 @babygorewhore @vanessa-rafesgirl

“rafey, are you almost done?” you ask, causing him to turn his head to look at you for the first time since you both entered the party and parted ways for rafe to do business.

“come here, baby.” rafe beckons you closer, so you cross the line of people waiting and take a seat on the couch next to rafe. “what's wrong?”

“nothing's wrong, i just miss you.” you pout, lacing your fingers through rafes. “i know you're selling right now but i thought we would be able to hang out tonight.”

rafe looks at the line of people waiting, then down at his stash. “im almost sold out, yeah? think you can wait ten more minutes?”

“can i sit here?” you ask, and when rafe nods you curl up against his side. he has to shake your hand loose as the next person walks up, buying some drugs that rafe would never in his life let you touch, but had no problem selling to other people.

you busy yourself with playing with a loose strand on rafes shorts as the packets in front of him dwindle down to only one small baggie of white powder left. rafe pockets it, shooing the rest of the people waiting away, telling them to come find him at the next party.

just when rafe finishes counting the money and you expect to get up and actually enjoy the party with your boyfriend, barry takes a seat on the armchair across from you.

“how was tonight?” he asks.

“sold it all, kept a baggie for myself.” rafe splits the money and hands most of it to barry for getting him the supply, pocketing the rest for himself.

“im getting a new shipment in tuesday-” you stop listening as they start to talk business again, linking your hand with rafes and rubbing your thumb over the back of his hand. you begin to stroke his arm with your other hand, craving any sort of attention from him.

“baby, stop, you're distracting me.” rafe says, pulling his hand out of your grip.

“sorry.” you whisper, looking between barry and rafe, wondering how much longer they're going to take.

“can i sit on your lap?” you ask, knowing rafe doesn't care about others seeing your pda so he shouldn't mind, he's let you sit on his lap in the past, he's even pulled you onto it himself.

rafe sighs, rubbing his forehead before sitting back, pulling you onto his knee so you're purched on the edge.

you groan, knowing that this isn't what you asked for as you turn to frown at rafe.

“baby, why are you being so clingy tonight?” rafe asks, pulling you by your waist into him so your side is pressed against his chest.

“im not.” you pout, crossing your arms over your chest.

“yeah, you definitely are. won't even let me talk to barry for ten minutes without getting all whiney.” rafe says, a small smile on his face, but it doesn't placate you, it just annoys you.

you stand up, moving away from rafe and leaving him to do whatever the fuck he wants with barry.

--

“baby, you didn't talk to me all night, please don't give me the silent treatment again today too.” rafe says, attempting to press a kiss to your shoulder, but you just move away to continue making pancakes. rafe keeps his eyes on you as you move about the kitchen.

you plate your pancakes, leaving the rest for rafe to get himself if he wants them and walk into the dining room. you're glad for the music you put on to drown out the silence at rafe sits across the table with his own plate.

you eat without looking up at him, somehow able to keep yourself quiet.

“so you're giving me the silent treatment but still made enough pancakes for me?” rafe asks.

you simply shrug, getting up to finish your pancakes in the kitchen.

“here, let me do the dishes.” rafe comes barging into the kitchen, interrupting you from beginning to clean. you simply shrug and walk away, not even giving him a thank you. you listen to him start to clean up, snickering silently at his grumblings to himself before heading upstairs to get changed.

“what are your plans for today?” rafe asks when you reemerge downstairs, wearing a simple outfit of leggings and a t-shirt. you give rafe a pointed look, one to reinforce the fact that you are not speaking to him before walking away.

rafe leaves you alone for a few hours when he is in the home gym working out. you peak through the glass doors a few times to admire his sweat sheened muscles, but don't let him catch you and go back to scrolling on your phone on the couch when he starts to clean up.

“im gonna go shower.” rafe calls as he passes through the living room. “care to join me?”

“no.” you call back.

you hear rafe stop in his tracks, halting and turning back to face you. “you just talked to me.”

“that doesn't cou-AHHH!” you shout as rafe jumps over the couch, dropping his body over yours as he presses kisses to your face, your phone long forgotten as it falls to the floor.

“im still mad at you, fuck off.” you say, but giggle the entire time, unable to resist his kisses.

“baby, you can tell me to fuck off or that you're mad all you want, just never ever give me the silent treatment again, i was going crazy.” rafe presses your lips together in a kiss and you give in, wrapping your arms around his shoulders.

“it sounds like you're the clingy one now.” you grin at him.

“absolutely.” rafe nods in agreement.

[tetzoro]

self indulgent fluff because this man makes me yearn hehe divider by @/cafekitsune ! — WC : 748

“noooo, tetsu.” you clutch onto him tighter, head still resting on his chest. you can hear the rumble of his laugh as he eases back down into his spot right next to you. “don’t go.”

“i have to, sweetheart.” kuroo rubs your back tenderly, pressing a chaste kiss on the top of your head. it was a weeknight and both of you had to be up early for work in the morning.

“you don’t want to stay?” a childish question that you can’t help but ask, a pout lining your lips. you must look absolutely pitiful judging by the look he’s giving you.

“you know i want to.” his arms tighten around you in a small apology. you can sense the dreaded ‘but’ ready to spill from the tip of his tongue so you beat him to the punch.

“so stay.” you grin up at him, chin resting on his chest. the close proximity has his eyes softening around the edges, mouth opening and closing as he tries to explain his reasoning for going. but all logic gets thrown at the window when he catches the hopeful look you cast at him.

“okay.” kuroo gives in. how could he not? saying no to you was an impossible task. “i’ll just get up earlier so i can go home and change.”

“yay! thank you tetsu.” you jolt up, planting kisses all over his face. he can’t help but laugh at your sudden burst of energy, relishing in all the love you pour onto him.

“of course.” kuroo gives you a kiss on the lips, pulling back just so he could see your smile. “im the best boyfriend ever after all.”

“yeah, yeah.” you giggle.

the two of you sit in a comfortable silence for a moment, your mind beginning to wander a little as an idea pops in your head. it’s almost like he can see the gears turning, a little lightbulb popping up and demanding attention.

“maybe…” you start but trail off, losing whatever nerve you had.

“maybe?” kuroo gently caresses your cheek, encouraging you to continue.

“maybe you could keep some work clothes here? you know…” you trail off again. “you know so you don’t have to rush home to change in the future.”

“and show up to work together?” he grins, sitting up, back resting against the headboard as he pulls you into his lap. “my my, what a scandal. what will the people say?”

“tetsu, i’m pretty sure the whole office knows we’re dating.” you roll your eyes.

kuroo’s eyebrows dramatically shot up far behind his bangs. he was well versed in whatever drama was circulating around the office, a secret fiend for gossip so you knew damn well he’s heard the rumors too. and yet…

“oh yeah? how do you know?” the pads of kuroo’s fingertips patter down along your back as he watches you carefully — catlike instincts trained onto you.

“because people gossip and we aren’t exactly the most discreet.”

“we are discreet!” kuroo looks mildly offended and if you didn’t know him so well, you think you’d had actually struck a nerve.

“babe, they caught us kissing at the the last work party.” you poke his cheek. “not to mention what some of them have been subjected to at happy hour.”

“you make it sound like we’re going at it 24/7 in the office, jeez.” he pouts, looking off to the side.

“i’m just telling you how it is.” you shrug, a teasing smile gracing your features. “i suppose you just can’t keep your hands off me.”

“why you little…” he tickles your side, causing you to giggle and squirm in his lap. after a moment he shows mercy and relents, nuzzling his nose against your face.

“so yeah, i don’t think it would be a big deal if we started going to work together.” you conclude, your voice just above a whisper now. kuroo pretends to ponder it for a moment before something else shifts in his amber eyes.

“noted.” he smirks, half lidded eyes set on you. “you know, you kinda owe me now for staying the night.”

“how’s that?”

“i’ve got to get up extra early, forgo my run and everything. you know how important cardio is to me.” he leans forward, lips ghosting your own as you suck in a bated breath.

“i guess we’ll have to find a suitable alternative for you then.” you pivot, straddling his lap and running your hands through his messy ink hair.

“oh i have a few ideas.” kuroo smirks, closing the gap between you as his lips touch yours.

[love-belle]

i love u forever !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which she's a baker and he's in love — even with a few incidents involved.

or

for when you want to spend the rest of your life laughing with them. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // carlos sainz x fem!reader

warnings - language

author's note - hiiiii :) back in my active era mid term is OVERRRRR !!!!! will be posting max's version for how u get the girl soon <3 i love u sm thank you so much for reading :)

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by carlossainz55, landonorris, lilymhe and 785,527 others

yourusername not pictured - carlos almost dropping the cake with LIT candles on my lap

tagged carlossainz55

7,628 comments

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≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, landonorris, danielricciardo and 879,625 others

carlossainz55 of course she had to stop and take pictures

tagged yourusername

7,829 comments

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charles_leclerc tell her i miss her and that she needs to bake those macaroons again

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≡;- ꒰ °instagram stories ꒱

*yourusername added to their instagram stories*

[6ix9inewiturmom]

The Scare- Chris Sturniolo

Summary: you end up having one of the biggest pregnancy scares of your life while chris is in boston

Warnings: Cursing, Crying, use of Y/N, talks of sex, taking a pregnancy test

A/n: may be tmi but lowkey relate to this so this was easy to write LMFAOO, ENJOY

PSA: DO NOT USE MY WORK FOR “inspiration” OR ANYTHING ELSE!!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Chris has been in Boston for the last 2 weeks, and he's finally coming home. I decided to shower and shave before he came home because that man is the most sexually active 20-year-old I've ever met, the Facetime sex at 3 am for him isn't nearly enough to satisfy both of our needs.

After my hour-long shower, I'm digging through my shared bathroom with Chris in an attempt to find my body lotion to prevent my dry ass skin in this heat when I find my box of tampons, which got me thinking I haven't had a period in a while and Chris and I aren't the safest people when it comes to sex because neither of us can even remember to put a condom on, it always fucks up my mood.

“Shit,” I say to my self.

Chris and I are only 20 and with his career there's no fucking way in HELL we can have a kid or even raise a kid, I am nowhere near ready to raise an actual child.

I open my Flo app and see the little circle that's normally red is grey ‘1 week late’

“Shit shit shit,” I say out loud again, panicking.

I can't keep it from him, he's gonna see the pregnancy test in the trash. Would he be mad if I kept it from him? Should I just tell him? Should I go to Tara?

After about 30 minutes of standing in the bathroom looking at the message in my phone, panicking about what to do, I just decided I was gonna tell Chris, he loves me, and we've talked about having kids way later in life anyway, he couldn't be mad.

I finally built up the courage and got dressed in a pair of tight ripped jeans and a baby tee, with some Converse, and sat on the couch waiting for Chris to come home going through Tiktok and whatever else was on my phone.

“BABY IM HOME” Chris yells from the stairs

I squeal in excitement as I spot Chris and run towards him. Jumping into his arms, he effortlessly lifts me, allowing me to wrap my legs around his waist.

“Umm Y/N there are other people here too you know? Also, Chris get out of the fucking way so we can fucking put our shit down” Nick says in annoyance.

“Well hello to you too Nick,” I say jumping out of Chris’ arms moving out of the doorway, and letting Matt and Nick come inside the house.

“Sorry babes, we've all been up since about 6 am Boston time trying to catch our flight we almost missed because your fucking boyfriend wouldn't get the hell out of bed” Nick replies sending me a soft smile and giving me a soft hug.

“To be fair none of us went to bed at a decent time, mom was making sure we had everything packed so we didn't leave anything behind” matt defends.

“Thank you, Matt, now Y/N do you wanna take a nap? I know we were gonna go out to dinner but I'm very fucking jet lagged and kinda just want to order dinner and watch movies with you” Chris wraps his arms around my waist nuzzling his head between my neck as my hands rest on his shoulders.

“Thats fine with me i don't mind” i pull away from his embrace and smile at him.

Chris grabs his luggage and my hand and guides me to our shared bedroom. As we enter the room he seats his luggage down and plops on the bed letting out a groan of frustration.

“I have missed this damn bed, don't ask me how I slept in that bed at my mom's house for god knows how long because this one is so much more comfortable,” Chris says adjusting the way he's laying to rest his head down on the pillows. “Now after 2 weeks of no sex and just my right hand, I'm gonna need to fuck the ever-loving shit out of you” he smirks at me patting his lap and signaling me to sit on it.

“Yeah so about that” give him an awkward smile “So I didn't know how to approach this to you, 'cause you know we're not the most responsible sexually active humans” I start babbling getting nervous of his reaction based on the puzzled look on his face.

“Y/N what the hell are you getting at? cause if you don’t wanna have sex with me right now that’s fine just say that, but considering our last facetime call the constant ‘oh chris i need your cock’ was really misleading to me” he says with a puzzled faced.

“Chris i’m late” i breathe out.

“late for what? did we have reservations for dinner? did you have something for work?” he says with frustration in his voice.

“No Chris my period, I'm late, my period is LATE, I'm 1 week late today,” I say aggressively from his lack of acknowledgement.

“wait we haven’t had sex in 2 weeks? i’m confused” he sits up moving to the edge of the bed.

“last time we had sex i was ovulating, remember when i told you like a while ago that if im ovulating means im FERTILE?” i say in frustration.

“Fuck” he runs his fingers through his hair “Did you take a test? Do you know for sure that you are pregnant?” he questions

“No, and no, I didn't wanna take a test without you, and I for SURE didn't wanna hide it from you,” I say softly sitting next to him on the bed.

“So why the hell are you freaking out now? You don't know for sure that you are” he asks placing his head in his hands.

“Because you and I are nowhere near ready for a fucking kid Chris, your career, and my inability to even fucking care for myself some days, yeah there's no fucking way I can care for a child who can't even speak on its emotions, Chris” I stand up out of frustration and start pacing.

I can tell Chris obviously got upset with my statement about our ability to care for a child but i was stressed and honestly wasn't thinking.

"I want you to know that I care about you deeply, Y/N. If you are indeed pregnant, please know that I will do everything in my power to support you and our child. Even if it means giving up my career, I will do it willingly. Let's go get a pregnancy test and we can talk about everything else later, okay? I am here for you, and I will always be." he says, his voice filled with empathy and understanding as he gently cups my cheeks in his hands, rubbing them softly up and down and warm smile spreads across his face.

As our eyes meet, a warm smile spreads across his face and I can't help but return it. He takes my hand in his and gently guides me towards the living room, his grip firm yet gentle. The coolness of his skin against mine sends shivers down my spine.

“Girl, were you guys arguing? Normally after we come home from Boston it's all ‘Oh Chris more, more’ typically a traumatic event” Nick says mocking me with a smile plastered across his face.

“Y/N and I are running to CVS so well be back in a little,” Chris says walking him and me down the stairs and to my car.

The drive to CVS was filled with a bunch of conversations and laughter, talking about if I was pregnant how we would raise our child, and Chris talking about the dad jokes he's gonna have, and considering he's a triplet he carries the genetic that I'm probably gonna twins or triplets.

“How many of these things do we need? What brand is best? why are there so many options?” Chris says holding 3 boxes of pregnancy tests and struggling to figure out which one to pick “fuck it why don't we buy all of them and use one pack tonight then we'll have the extra on hand in case our irresponsibility gets the best of us” he continues.

Chris and I walked up to the front counter and dropped the boxes of tests. The worker behind the counter took a look at the tests and then looked back at us, giving us a fake smile. After ringing up the purchase, we made our way to my car.

“So do you think you are pregnant?” Chris says breaking the silence.

“I mean normally my cycles are normal and a week late is not normal at all but it could be my hormones changing or something, but I do wanna make sure,” I say glancing at Chris nervously biting his nails.

“You were right about how irresponsible we are with our sex lives but when we first started fucking we knew the risk of everything and I mean our kids would be pretty cute,” he says placing his hand on my leg and rubbing a small circle with his thumb.

Chris and I pulled up into the driveway. As we got out of the car, he held my hand tightly and carried the CVS bag in the other hand as we made our way into the house and up the staircase.

“did you get any snacks?” Nick says eating a bowl of popcorn on the couch with Matt watching the most random movie on Netflix.

“Uhm no I just got a couple of personal things” I say nervously holding up the bag and sending a warm smile to Nick.

Chris and I pretty much B lined to the bathroom, anxiously “So which one do we use?” Chris says looking down at the boxes.

“Just give me the one that says Clearblue” i say softly laughing as Chris opens the box for me and inspects it before handing me the little stick.

“Do you want me to hold the stick while you piss? I'm sorry I have no idea how these things work” he says laughing allowing his back to slide down the wall and sit with his back against the shower door.

“Chris it's fine i know how to use these, believe me my friends in highschool weren't the most responsible either” I say laughing beginning to pee on the little white and blue stick.

“So how long do we wait?” Chris says helping me take a seat on the floor next to him.

“5 minutes” I breathe out setting a 5-minute timer on my phone and leaning my head against the shower door.

As we sat in the bathroom, waiting for the pregnancy test to show its result, the silence felt palpable. It wasn't an awkward silence, but rather a deafening one that seemed to fill the entire room. With just the two of us present, we anxiously waited for the five minutes to pass.

“Would it be a bad thing if I wanted it to be positive?” Chris chuckles.

“I wouldn't necessarily say a bad thing, there's a part of me that kind of wants it to be positive too” i smile back at Chris.

The alarm on my phone quickly broke the once-loving moment sending us into a panic. Chris and I stand up walking to the counter.

“Wait should we film it in case you are then we could always have it if you could be pregnant?” Chris’ gaze softens as he looks at me.

“Chris not the time” I softly laugh out.

“Right,” he nods smiling back at me. “WAIT” he grabs my hand “Whatever happens, I love you,” he says in a serious tone.

With a warm smile, I gaze lovingly at him and reciprocate his affectionate words, "I love you too Christopher." However, my attention is quickly drawn towards the counter where the pregnancy test lays face down, taunting my nerves. With trembling hands, I muster up the courage to pick it up and slowly turn it around to face me, my heart pounding in anticipation of the result.

‘Not Pregnant’

“YES, MORE CREAMPIES” Chris shrieks wrapping his arms around my waist and picking me up, and spinning me around as I giggle out of excitement.

He carefully seats me down back flat on my feet. Our moment was quickly interrupted by both Nick and Matt barging through the door.

“ARE YOU GUYS- wait is that a pregnancy test? Y/N ARE YOU PREGNANT?” Nick yelled as Matt's eyes widened at the little blue stick in my hands.

“Please for the love of god, I don't want a little Chris running around, or two, or even three” Matt places his hand on his forehead.

“No she is not” Chris chuckles at the boys’ comment.

“THANK YOU,” matt and nick say in unison.

“Wrap it before you tap it next time Chris,” Nick says walking away and back to the living room.

“Now I'll say it again, after 2 weeks of Facetime sex I would like to absolutely fuck your brains out” Chris says smirking down at me.

“Please do” I smile as he picks me up gripping the backs of my thighs as my legs wrap around his waist leading me to the bedroom.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

A/N pt 2: I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THISSSSSS AND TYSM TO @cosmicmistake42069 FOR THIS INSPIRATION!!

[pintrestgrl]

loved your bsf!jj drabble!!!!! maybe a little drunken love confession from bsf!jj … and reader thinks its lowkey too good to be true bc she’s been yearning forever… but when they both sober up jj is like !!! i meant wtf i said !

hi i wrote this and then it completely disappeared. sigh. also im sorry if this is bad, i was half asleep bc i spent forever writing it the first time.

also i’m sorry for being inactive yesterday i was so so stressed nd had cramps and was dying… but hi !! hope u like this anon 🥹

note: after writing this, i rlly don’t like it. but i pray u guys do 😞

drunk!bsf!jj x pogue!reader.

“here, drink this.”

you spoke, shoving a glass of water into jj’s chest, sitting down next to him on the couch of the chateau.

he was clearly very wasted, and you were only a slight bit tipsy.

you two had both went out to the boneyard together, the rest of the group out doing god knows what.

he rambled on about not wanting to drink it, before giving in and chugging the clear liquid.

“thank god, you’re annoying when you’re drunk.”

“no, ‘m not. you are.”

“at least i’m not sloppy wasted, unlike somebody.”

“whatever. guilty by association.”

he spoke, slurring his words and laughing drunkenly.

“i’m not associated with you, you wish.”

“you’re my bestfriend, of course you are.”

he spoke, rolling his eyes amused at your denying.

you managed to let out a fake chuckle, silently cringing inside as he called you that. were you really only his ‘friend’ to him?

you wished to be so much more, and he had no idea whatsoever.

you were snapped out of your thoughts by his voice, drunkenly rambling again.

“thanks for the water. that was like, kinda sweet.”

“sweet?” you question, laughing as you furrowed your brows.

“yeah. you’re a sweet girl, i swear.”

you opened your mouth to protest, before being interrupted before you got the chance.

“you’re kinda pretty too.”

you froze at his words.

pretty?

that’s the last word you thought jj would use to describe you; at least to your face.

“what?”

“actually, no. you are pretty. very pretty.”

“jj, you’re drunk.”

“yeah, i am. and you’re pretty. probably beautiful if i could think right now.”

“you don’t mean that.”

“no, i do. i definitely do. i don’t know why you don’t have a boyfriend. or why i’m too dumb to ask you out.”

you were completely baffled at this point, trying to find any truth in his words. and to your surprise, he sounded genuine. drunk, but genuine.

you had liked him forever, and this was the most he’d ever showed any reciprocation.

you were always too scared to say anything, afraid of his rejection and what it would do to your friendship.

so, you opted for having some of him, rather then none at all.

“do you even understand a word you’re saying?”

you spoke, desperately needing to know if he was just drunkenly saying bullshit, or revealing the truth of how he felt.

“yeah, i do. you’re a sweet girl who is too pretty to not have a boyfriend. i mean, god. your face is perfect.”

“jj, shut up. stop.”

“no, you shut up. let me talk. i think i like you.”

“i’d hope so, considering i’m your bestfriend.”

“no, no. like actually like you. like seriously.”

you desperately were trying to deny his words, convincing yourself this was a dream and you needed to wake up.

“you think you like me?”

“no, i actually know i do. like a lot.

“jay, you’re joking.”

he scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“can you let me be serious about one thing in my life? i mean, god. i’m not joking. i’m serious. serious about this, about you.”

you could tell he was probably getting agitated the way you kept denying him, the way his mood shifted from amusedly drunk, to pissed off.

“why don’t you sleep the ‘liking me’ off, yeah?”

it took a while, but you convinced him to just go to bed. and as he layed in the next room over, you couldn’t get over his words.

was he trying to get in your pants because he was wasted, or was he serious about liking you?

you knew the thought would keep you up all night if you let it, so you decided to drop it from your brain, drifting off to a light sleep.

next morning

————————————————

you woke up groggily, a slight hangover lingering on your body. once you registered everything, you decided to go to the room next door, consisting of a likely just as hungover jj.

you opened the door, sitting on john b’s his bed, silently shaking him awake.

you knew he’d probably get all mad, but you needed him to help you clear the lingering thought in your head.

he groaned, mumbling a sleepy short sentence.

“what do you need?”

“can we talk?”

“speak or forever hold your peace, stupid.”

you rolled your eyes at his tired insult, reluctantly continuing with your words.

“uh— last night, you told me some stuff. like that you liked me, thought i was pretty and stuff. were you serious?”

he shot up as the words spilled out, immediately sitting against the headboard.

“i told you that?”

“yeah, you did.”

“shit— um, well yeah. kinda. in a way.”

“kinda?”

“no. not kinda.”

he said, rubbing a hand over his face.

he spoke again, sounding embarrassed.

“yes. i did. i meant it. every word. ‘m sorry. i didn’t mean to— jesus, fuck.”

“no, it’s fine, uh— i ‘kinda’ like you too.”

you said, letting the words come out before you thought about their weight.

“kinda? you’re serious?”

“yes, i’m serious. and not kinda, i didn’t mean that. i like you a lot.”

“shut up.”

“i’m serious, i do.”

“well, why the fuck didn’t you tell me?”

“i don’t know. i was nervous.”

a silence filled the room, not awkward. just waiting for someone to figure out the right thing to say.

finally, jj spoke.

“uh— i’m like really hungover.”

you rolled your eyes at the subject change, finding it just like him to do something like that.

“that’s what your gonna say?”

“no, fuck—sorry. can you just sleep in here with me so i can think straight after?”

“you could’ve just said that.”

“well, i just did, didn’t i?”

“i guess. and yeah, i can. scoot over.”

he awkwardly listened to your demand, not used to the feeling of you knowing about his thoughts of you.

you both fell unconscious soon after, unknowingly shiftinging your bodies closer as you slept.

you slept for another hour or two, limbs tangled and intertwined together as your mind tried to decipher if this was a dream, or if your head was really resting on your bestfriends chest.

[sanzuballs]

theyre the type toooooo….

ft. zoro, luffy, sanji, law, ace, robin, nami

hii guys. this is gonna be real fluffy (mostly) and sweet so hopefully u guys eat this up. have fun reading my bullshit headcannons.

——————————

zoro is the type of guy to come into the room at 12 am after a intense workout and want nothing but your pussy and then to take a nice shower after.

“zoro? is that you?” he replied with a grunt and grabbed you while peppering your face with kisses. “youre all sweaty, baby.”

“kay then let me fuck you then we can take a shower together, please?”

—

luffy is the type of guy to talk about your guys’ sex life to others on accident. hes just so proud to be with you.

“this would totally taste better if y/n let me eat it off her. oh! like she did last night!” he’d chirp aloud.

“LUFFY!!”

__

sanjis the type of guy to try not to admit his dirty thoughts when hes alone with you.

“sanji do you want me to start moving?” you said as you sat on his thigh with your arms around him.

“what?! you can do anything you’d please. i dont care what you do i want you to be happy! why would you think that?!” he’d spurt out.

—

ace is the type of guy to fall asleep right after sex with his cock still in you.

“fuck, ace you always do this.” you smiled as his sweaty body held you close to him. you were unable to move from his tight grip. it kept his cock snug in your pussy.

his face was too peaceful and cute so you just sank in.

—

law is the type of guy to make it so obvious he had a boner while trying to hide it.

“lawww!! do you like this dress?” you smile at him with your new small dress on.

“its so damn small.” he just decides to take a seat and set his hat down right ontop the fly of his jeans.

“law. i know you like it.”

__

robin is the type of woman to let you do whatever makes you happy. for example, if you want to cuddle on her boobs then go ahead, if you want to sleep inbetween her thighs then go ahead.

“robin im so tired but cant find i good place to rest on the bed.” you said as you shuffled around the bed.

“come here then.” she grabs you and your head hits her plush tits.

—

nami is the type of girl to seriously do anything for you.

“y/n? are you okay? you seemed a little down today.” she grabbed your shoulder. you turned around then gave her a smile.

“yeah i just got a headache today.” you replied.

“oh, do you wanna take a bath or nap?” she asked.

“im okay nami, thank you!” you smiled at her.

then you found the luffy and ussop and chopper with big welts on their head from nami punching them for being “too loud for y/n.”

—

monster trio again bc im inlove w them

zoro is the type of guy get jealous easily.

“that damn bartender couldnt keep his eyes off you.” he said as you guys left the bar.

“zoro you know im only yours.” you smirk at him in your tipsy state.

“y/n! you-u know what saying! i just dont.. um like sharing, okay??!” he turns away while blush covers his face.

—

luffy is the type of guy to overstimulate you so bad.

“luffy, you said that was the last one.” you whined as he rammed into your overstimulated pussy.

“im sorry baby. i love when you tighten around me so much. you know that right?” he smiles at you.

you couldnt even hear him as you were on the verge of passing out.

—

sanjis the type of guy that you would just napping in your bed with a pair of your panties in his hands.

“sanji?” you found a lump of a man in your bed. he was definitely out but in his hands you saw a pair of your favorite panties.

“you perv.” you smiled as you got into the bed with him.

—-

this was so funnnnnn <3

[starboye]

Addicted

pairing: bryce mckenzie x male reader

warnings: smut, somnophilia, spanking, aftercare, overestimation, crying from pleasure, cursing

summary: from this

"bryce please i need a break" you brokenly beg as bryce pounds into you at an unrelenting pace "i cant stop when i have such a nice hole around me" bryce grunts gripping you hips tighter with each moan you let out "we've been going for hours" you whine "which means you could go for one more" bryce cheerily says smiling wide "how are you not tired" you ask huskily "because this keeps me going" he says stopping his movement momentarily to admire the mess he's made in your hole.

"yeah but we've been going for hours" you say as a small tear drops down your face from pleasure "just think of it as an early honey moon" bryce says "i wont be alive to see it if you keep fucking me" you yell before letting out a moan to the feeling of bryce cumming for the 7th or 8th time, you couldn't really tell anymore because all of them just blended together in your mind.

"you always were a little dramatic" bryce chuckles "finally we're done" you huff moving to get off the bed "ah ah where do you think your going" bryce tuts as he grabs you weak leg "bryce please no im tired" you whine "c'mon just one more time" bryce pleas "you said that an hour ago" you huff "please" bryce begs with puppy dog eyes before kissing you deeply.

you never could resist when bryce gave you those kind of kisses its like your brain just shuts down and you'd do whatever he tells you too "fine" is all you manage to get out before bryce is pushing you back onto the bed and thrusting into you again with a slew of curses falling from his mouth "i promise this is the last time babe" bryce said admiring the way your face scrunched up with every movement.

"you there y/n" bryce chuckles as he slaps your ass harshly "ngh" you whine gripping bryces wrist "someones sensitive" he smirks groping you ass "im so tired" you moan as more tears fall from your eyes "well if you do fall asleep can i keep going" bryce asks slowing his pace for a moment, all you can do is nod as you slowly pass out.

"damn your still squeezing even after passing out, you're one hell of a slut" bryce says holding your ass "you just needed a good fucking huh" bryce asks tilting his head slightly, he feels up and down you body as you lay there mouth agape and looking as beautiful as ever.

as bryces thrusts into you deeply he notices how your belly bulges with every move upward in you, he grabs your hand and lays it over the bulging spot "you feel that baby, thats me deep in you" bryce whispers as a grin creeps across his face.

you writher in your sleep as bryce quickens his pace and the thrust become deeper and harder "i know baby im almost done" bryce apologizes "nghhh bryce" you moan in your sleep "that's right y/n its just me" bryce reassures interlocking his fingers with yours.

with a couple more thrusts bryce cums in you as he huffs loudly and you calm down before going back to sleep, he pulls out of your hole after hours of fucking his dick twitching lightly "you really know how to make a guy feels special" bryce pants kissing your head lightly.

"now lets get you cleaned" bryce grunts picking you up and taking you the bathroom, he holds you in his arms as he waits for the water to heat up, when the water heats up he puts you in before sliding in behind you, you now resting on his sweaty sticky chest.

"br-bryce" you softly say waking up "im right here dont worry" he sweetly reassures wiping the cum off you body with a rag "thanks for this babe" you say nuzzling into his chest "you're welcome" bryce whispers kissing the top of your head before dozing back to sleep.

"such a cutie" he chcukles washing the soap off your body "now lets get you to bed", bryce picks you up out the tub and dries you off before dressing you up in one of his shirts and your shorts, he lays you in bed and pulls you into his chest as he wraps you both in a blanket.

"goodnight bryce" you softly speak before finally going to sleep "goodnight y/n" bryce say tightly hugging you.

[luvfy0dor]

prolonged & soft and sweet kisses with Fyodor! thxxx

Fyodor + Soft and Sweet Kisses ♡⁠˖

warnings; none! Prolonged kisses w/ Fyodor here!!

Fyodors hand held yours, his thumb gently brushing over your knuckles every now and again. He practically had his nose buried in the book he held in front of him, his eyes swiftly darting back and forth as he read each line. His legs were crossed and your head was rested against his shoulder. Every now and again you took a peak at what he was reading, but it didn't interest you enough to keep your attention. Just as you started to drift off to sleep against him, he closed his book, the thick pages and hard cover making a small 'clop' sound. "Are you tired?" He asked, turning his torso to face you. "Only a little." You murmured, leaning your head against the back of the old couch. He smiled softly. "Let's head to bed so you can lay down." He says, pulling you up to your feet by your hand. "Hey, no, it's fine! We can stay out here!" You offer, directing your hand to point at the sofa. "And we can also go to bed." He grins, cupping your cheek. "You've got eye bags, myshka." He says, his thumb pressing against your dark circles. "I know, even though I do get enough sleep most nights." You huff. "You've got 'em too."

He smiles and nods as you do the same to him, touching beneath his eyes gently and affectionately. There a silence that's only broken seconds later by the sounds of his quiet sigh into your lips. Neither of you are in any rush to deepen the kiss or make it more heated, just slowly enjoying the calm moment together. Fyodors lips could feel like the sun kissing your skin on a late summer morning, but they could also be reminiscent of the waves crashing against the shore in the nighttime. You let your hands slip into his hair, your fingertips massaging his scalp pleasantly while he kept up with the kiss. Both of you finally pulled away, but leaned right back in to rest your forehead against eachother. He took s moment to open his eyes again, but when he did they were hardly opened. His half-lidded gaze stared back at you, and you couldn't help but giggle a little. "That's a funny angle." You say, pushing him away gently. He grins, flashing his off-white teeth. "Well you're not exactly a show-stopper from that perspective either." You laugh under your breath before pulling him along with you towards the bedroom. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. Lets head to bed."

A/n; Thank you so much for requesting!!! I hope you like it!! BUT NEW CHAOTER DAY HOLY SHIT GUYS ALCOTT MY BELOVED AND FITZGERALD AND BRAM TOO BUT LIKE HURRAH IM SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!

[paiges-1vur]

welcome to the party… as always enjoy loves <3 (pt. 2/4)

Friday 9:32 pm

It’s not long before the door opens up revealing a smiling girl. This must be Azzi, Rileys friend.

“Hi ry!” the girl says in a high pitched voice, “I haven’t seen you in so long we need to catch up.”

I see Riley smile and give her a quick hug before introducing me. I flash a quick nervous smile and tell her it was nice to finally meet her.

As we walk inside we meet 3 other girls. Then it hits me. Fuck. How could i be so stupid? I forgot Azzi was on the women’s basketball team. I walk in and try to suppress my anxiety as i face her 3 teammates.

Right as soon as i look to Riley for some stability, i notice her and Azzi have gone off somewhere else, probably to catch up.

The three girls are all occupied on their own, but one of them comes up to me as soon as she sees im uncomfortable.

“Hi your Ana, Rileys friend right! My names Nika and its really nice to meet you.” How could i be scared of this girl who sounded so sweet? I decided to pull myself together and try to have fun tonight.

“Yeah, im her roommate, and its really nice to meet you too!” I reply with a smile as she sips on her drink.

“And may i just say damn girl! you look so hot tonight!” Nika hypes me up and i do a little 360 giggling. As im spinning i see one of the other girls in the corner of my eye. The only girl i knew here. Paige Bueckers. “You know what lets do shots!” Nika is obviously feeling the same energy i am and i love it.

She calls the other girls over and quickly introduces me to kk who i love just as much as Nika. Paige stays quiet and Nika doesn’t say anything about her. She pours 4 shots and i say “Fuck it. Pour me 2” I hope I dont learn to regret this because being 5”1 and 120 pounds doesnt mix well with taking shots.

We all knock them back and i reach for my second one taking it down as quick as the first before making a quick face.

I look up to my right and see Paige looking down at me. Her eyes scan up and down my body as she bites her lip. I blush and look away, and in the corner of my eye i can see her smirking.

Azzi and Riley come back into the kitchen and let us know its time to head out to the bars. We all pack into Azzi’s car which has just enough room to fit us all. As soon as we pull out Azzi says “Shit. Guys is it okay if we pick up my friend real quick she just needs a ride to the bar thats all.” We all nod in understanding because we don’t mind.

As soon as her friend walks out of her building Azzi says “Okay theres not enough room so Ana since your the smallest your going to have to sit on Paiges lap. Is that okay?”

My mouth goes dry. i somehow manage a “Yeah thats fine.” As i move over to Paiges side of the car and sit on her lap. I immediately feel her staring at me. I turn my head to look at her, and her pupils are dilated and her eyes an icy blue. I feel her staring at my top again and this time i decide to be bold.

“You like what you see?” I whispered looking at her through my eyelashes and twirling my hair in my finger, biting my lip ever so slightly.

I can see her demeanor instantly change. She grins and comes down to my ear “I would like to see what you look like under it more.” I gulp and turn my head to the window trying to hide how wet that just made me.

I cant help from getting uncomfortable on Paiges lap in my mini skirt and have to keep moving my position on her lap. All of a sudden i feel two big hands on my hips. I look up at her as she licks her lips.

“Don’t start something you cant finish.” This immediately stops me from moving until the rest of the car ride, but Paiges hands linger on my hips for the rest of the ride.

————————

We all walk into the bar quickly flashing the bouncer our ids. Nika told me that tonight was going to be really fun especially because Paige knows the owner of the bar so we can do basically whatever we want.

We all sit down at a table and Im already feeling tipsy (but thats also coming from the girl who blacked out after 5 shots once..) “Who wants to get more shots!” I half scream at the girls smiling ear to ear.

They all laugh as Paige gets up and goes to the bar to order us two rounds. We are celebrating tonight. Once she got back we immediately downed the next two rounds and i decided i wanted to dance. I grabbed Nika by the hand laughing and dragged her to the dance floor.

She was surprisingly a good dancer and we danced with each other to the music that was blasting from the speakers. I started to grind on Nika as she hyped me up. I had my back faced to her as i moved up and down her body before turning around and putting my hands on her chest laughing because people had started to cheer us on.

I look over and see Paige staring at me moving on Nika, her hold so tight on her drink it could shatter at any moment. She stares me down in jealousy, and shit was it hot.

As the night went on I talked to all the girls and they were all super nice and i wanted to get to know them.

We started talking about basketball and when i asked who’s the best everyone turned to Paige. She bragged about how good she was for about 10 minutes.

She flexed and looked at me, “These don’t just come in overnight.” Everyone at the table laughed. My jaw dropped and the Paige looked over at me and winked. I mean i knew she was jacked. She had toned arms, smooth abs, and a killer back. NOT that i had ever looked that up on youtube.

I decide to distract myself from the growing need to touch Paige.

“GUYS!” I say ten volumes louder than i should have, “Guys lets lets play truth or dare right now i want to play now.” Everybody laughs and agrees as we sip our drinks.

The game is going well until its Paiges turn to ask me.

“Ana truth or dare.” She says flashing me her signature smirk. I try not to melt under her gaze. I know shes looking at my tits, but i don’t care. I want her to.

“Dare.” I say drunkenly, ready for whatever shes about to throw my way.

She laughs, “Lets do body shots.”

“W-what” I mumble, my brain suddenly slowing everything down.

“You heard me.” She gets up from the table and walks over to the bar. I look around at the other girls at the table and they all are smiling and trying to hide their laughs. Im just about to ask what the fuck i got myself into but then i hear something coming from the speakers.

“No fucking way.” I say. Azzi is trying to hide her laughing under a napkin. Pony by Ginuine starts blasting in the bar as i see Paige whisper something into the bartenders ear with a grin on her face. The girls at the table are absolutely losing it. Suddenly the bartender speaks into a microphone.

“Everyone we have a little something special for you all tonight. We have my good friend Paige and her new friend Ana are going to do body shots so lets give them all a warm welcome!”

People are whistling and cheering, eating up this little act.

“Come on up Ana!” The bartender looks over to my table and waves me over to the bar. I get up from my seat slowly walking to the bar, as Paige offers me her hand to get on top of it. I look at her with a “what the fuck.” look and she only laughs in response.

I lie down on the bar feeling very underdressed. As the music plays I decide to let go and let myself be happy. I can’t live life always worrying about the what ifs right?

I let myself feel free and the music blasting in my ears makes me anticipate whats going to happen. The bartender pours the shot and puts it down next to my head. She then pours the line of salt across my chest, which I’m sure was per Paiges request.

“Here you go hun.” The bartender hands me the lime to put in my mouth as she flashes me a wink. “Everybody lets hear it one more time for Paige!” The crowd erupts people clapping, screaming, and whistling. I see Nika holding her phone up recording this all, but to be honest, i don’t fucking care. Im too drunk to worry about the little things.

As im ready for Paige to initiate it i see her move. She climbs up on the bar and straddles my stomach, playing into this little act. Everyone is screaming clearly eating it up. i look up at her trying not to moan at just the sight of her on top of me. Fuck i need some sort of friction.

She leans down and grabs both of my wrists, and i let her take full control. She pins them above my head and smiles before scanning over my upper body one more time and whistling to the crowd.

I close my eyes before hearing Paige by my ear whisper “Open your eyes baby. I want you to see my face when i do this to you” I flutter my big brown eyes open staring at her in awe. “Good girl.” she says before returning to the act.

She leans down putting her free hand on my upper stomach as she licks the line of salt from my exposed chest. My back arches in response to her tongue and shit it feels so good. She then grabs the shot and downs it before coming down to my face and gabbing the lime from my mouth.

Still straddling me she sits up and tilts her head back with the lime in her mouth. The bar is packed full of students all screaming and cheering. The girls over at our table are still recording and cheering for Paige and I.

Im so drunk at this point that im stumbling back to the booth, and im fully leaning on Paige in the corner of the booth, sort of behind me. The girls whistle and Nika tells me how sexy that was. I giggle and lean back into Paige more, sitting in between her legs. The girls start to talk about something else, probably basketball before i feel a big cold hand sneak up my skirt on the inside of my thigh.

——————————

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

hi! i saw on your shipping chart you had meenah and cronus as moirails and noted 'would have prevented all problems' and ive never really seen that take before. id love to hear your thoughts on that if you wanted to talk about them, your analysis in general is always amazing

Sure! I know this one's going to be controversial, but TBH I'm kind of fascinated by their dynamic. So please bear with me here and come into it with an open mind; I was also really surprised when I noticed what was going on.

Also, standard disclaimer that nobody has to agree with me or ship my ships, I literally don't care, HCs are valid, death of the author, etc. etc. This is just a canon discussion blog, and there's kind of a weird amount to read into in the canon between these two.

Okay, so, first of all, quick refresher on moirallegiance: it's not necessarily about being BFFs, it's very specifically about pacifying each other, keeping each other calm and stable, and preventing each other from causing harm to oneself or to others.

Ergo, the marker of moirallegiance rests not on "do these two get along as BFFs?" and instead on "do these two keep each other calm and/or mitigate each others' harm".

So with that out of the way, Cronus and Meenah. We know that Cronus has a redcrush on her, echoing Eridan's redcrush on Feferi, and that Meenah is not interested at all. Cronus shoots his shot with her, she's like ick, no & leaves, and that's that on that. Cronus then rounds on Mituna and says some unbelievably cruel and shitty stuff, but here's Point #1 - Meenah shows up again, and Cronus stops immediately, and then is noticeably calmer and friendlier to Mituna. Compare:

CRONUS: you are a brain damaged reject on a team full of rejects. a rejects reject. i vwould havwe culled you myself if that vword meant vwhat it should havwe on our planet.

-

CRONUS: vwell, this is clearly absurd, but nyeh, vwhat the heck. CRONUS: mituna, i just cant take it anymore. i think my ghost is going to kill itself. MITUNA: WH0W4H L375 FUCK!!!!! CRONUS: vwait... CRONUS: really? MITUNA: N0 0Y0 P135H3 0FF 1ND107 FUGG1NG G4R484G3  #FUCKY0UFUCKY0UFUCKY0UFUCKY0UFUCKY0U CRONUS: oh.

So at the very least, SOMETHING conciliatory seems to be happening here, whether that's pale or ashen. But I'm going with pale, because it continues.

Their second conversation together is really interesting - not only has Cronus stopped redflirting with her, but he no longer even seems interested. Compare this to the section with Mituna above:

CRONUS: oh sure. no grub sauce on your hands! MEENAH: wow you did it MEENAH: ampora you totally changed my mind about you lets start makin out immediately  #not CRONUS: just admit it. you havwe it vwithin you to be just as harsh to our behelmeted buddy as i am, if not more

Like, he doesn't even ACKNOWLEDGE the "let's make out #not". Not even in an indignant "see, you keep playing with my collapsing and expanding bladder based vwascular system" kind of way. Literally just breezes right by it, which says to me that he isn't even really that into her concupiscently.

But more interesting are the actual contents of the conversation. Cronus is the only person on the entire team who's able to make Meenah have misgivings about how awesome the Condy is.

MEENAH: man MEENAH: a girls gotta have fuel for her pimp ride know what im sayin MEENAH: like MEENAH: i probably took care of him good MEENAH: you know how it is someones gotta take care of the guy anyways MEENAH: and... yeah #38(

This is the first and only time that Meenah even acknowledges that the Condy - herself at her worst - is kind of shitty. This is the first and only time she's ever expressed any emotion for the Condy other than fangirlish admiration or rage against Caluborn for enslaving her. For whatever reason, she actually listens to Cronus when Cronus takes her to task, and he's actually able to make her genuinely reflect on her worst tendencies.

But maybe more damning is the fact that in their first real conversation together for nearly an eon, she almost fixes him:

MEENAH: i heard a rumor you think youre a human now MEENAH: that true CRONUS: its a privwate matter. i dont see vwhy i should havwe to talk about it vwith you, and open myself up to more of your judgmental scorn. MEENAH: sounds like another desperate cry for attention imo

[...]

CRONUS: to be honest, she might be right. sometimes i think i might only be saying im a human to get attention. maybe i should givwe it up.

Cronus's fundamental emotional problem is a sense of purposelesness and ennui. Born into a caste of high privilege, with his identity overshadowed by said position, he's been handed an unpleasant cocktail of entitlement, lack of true emotional support or connection, and lack of a real, authentic personal identity - especially because the thing he DID seem to derive a sense of identity and purpose from - his little Harry Potter wizard backstory - was driven out of him. In other words, he's kind of a shitty rich kid that doesn't really know who he is outside of that, and his humankin stuff is an attempt to fill the wizard hole without addressing his real underlying issues. It's a Bad Thing for him to be doing, and something he should drop in order to start addressing his genuine insecurities, feelings of emptiness, and lack of identity or purpose. In other words, it's harm he's performing on himself, and a single conversation with Meenah being enough to make him reconsider it? Hmmmmmm.

In fact, I'm not the only one picking up on the pale vibes. The specific way that Kankri interrupts the two reads as incredibly pick-me in pale:

KANKRI: Listen, I was d9ing y9u a fav9r. Y9u d9n't need t9 6e dating any9ne wh9 can't appreciate y9u f9r wh9 y9u really are, 9r m9re imp9rtantly, which fantasy versi9n 9f y9urself y9u m9st str9ngly identify with.

[...]

I just wanted y9u t9 kn9w that I'm here f9r y9u, and am prepared t9 lecture t9 y9u extensively, I mean, listen t9 y9u extensively, a69ut y9ur ultra-imp9rtant pr96lem.

"Don't take Meenah's advice about your problems! Take mine instead, I care about you sooo much more than she does!" lol. I have a whole essay on how Kankri and Cronus are actually super toxic for each other, in an interesting foil to Karkat and Eridan, which I'll link here in a bit (I'm on mobile RN and it's hard enough C/Ping my sources).

In any case, Kankri slides in at exactly the moment where Meenah's about to fix Cronus, and proceeds to make Cronus worse. The details are in the Cronus and Kankri essay, but TL;DR it's kind of implied that Kankri is the one who talked Cronus out of the wizard stuff in the first place, which pretty much disqualifies the two's relationship from pale, given how harmful that was. This whole thing is pretty reminiscent of Gamzee coming between Karkat and Eridan when Eridan is trying to comfort Karkat about Sollux dying, because it's implied Gamzee has a palecrush on the guy. That might be subjective, though.

What isn't subjective is the fact that Meenah unironically defends Cronus's wizard beliefs when Aranea starts shitting on them.

ARANEA: Whatever the case, it was pro8a8ly for the 8est, since pretty much everyone who had half a think pan thought [Cronus's wizard beliefs were] all a 8unch of ridiculous nonsense. MEENAH: serket why do you got to hate on other peoples religions MEENAH: dont you kno they just as much a load of crackpotty bunk as all your spiritual bullfuck ARANEA: 8ut I........ ARANEA: Yes, I guess I was out of line.

She doesn't do this for anybody else. Not long after, it turns out she's absolutely joking about defending Kurloz:

MEENAH: wow serket MEENAH: just wow so rude MEENAH: poor clown ARANEA: Don't give me that! I seem to remem8er you having more than a few unkind words for him 8ehind his 8ack. MEENAH: yeah im messin witchu he sux

And even proceeds to shit on HIS spiritual bullfuck:

MEENAH: )(ONK ARANEA: Honk honk! ::::) MEENAH: lol im glad we can both agree that clowny fuckin soda cult is the dumbest shit ever

So... weird, huh? Seems like she gives Cronus special treatment for some reason.

That's it for the diegetic stuff to go over, which, yes, means that there's a bit of non-diegetic stuff to discuss. It's not much, but here's Hussie's commentary from the Act 5 Act 2 book, on Mindfang's journal entries about Dualscar leading up to the 3x showdown (emphasis mine):

In the end, even though violets are the ruling class, she doesn't care much about them either. All she cares about is keeping her stranglehold on power with this complex, staggered, oppression-based sort of pyramid scheme. Note how it says the Condesce doesn't even know who Dualscar is. That's how insignificant he is, ultimately. Similarly, all Eridan was to Feferi after a while was a tiresome pest. The way that situation played out could also be seen as long-delayed karmic backlash for Dualscar's irrelevance to her, at least from a very Amporan point of view.

Now, while the specific context here is about how, from the point of view of a shitty entitled guy, Eridan killing Feferi is kind of a retribution for the Condy not giving a shit about Dualscar, all of Hussie's commentary is meant to be interrogated just as much as the base text, and it just makes me wonder. The dancestors very much treat their Alternian counterparts as alternate versions of themselves, consistent throughout their interactions, meaning we ought to consider Duascar and the Condesce to be versions of Cronus and Meenah.

If it is, in fact, the case that Cronus and Meenah would've made for excellent, harm-reducing moirails for each other, then murderstuck being a karmic backlash for their ultimate irrelevance to each other takes on a much greater implication - one that traces back to Cronus's classpect.

Bards start off massive karmic chain reactions, resulting in improbable victory or abject defeat, sometimes both; Hope is an aspect whose main application is making fake things real.

So I'm not saying that Cronus believing that an evil wizard attacked him when he was younger but was inadvertently sealed away and that Cronus was therefore karmically destined to defeat this wizard, but then having his beliefs shattered halfway through, led to him karmically contributing to the eventual creation of LE via his Hope abilities "inviting destruction" by making only the first half of his fake prophecy true, but - oh, no, wait, I am saying that. Man, that really sucks for everybody. If only Cronus had a friend who was, for whatever reason, willing to stick up for his dumbass wizard faith.

If only.

[bitterbutblue]

COUGH COUGH NEEDING IDEAS??

AM I SUMMONED???

anonymous letters from Robin. she never goes out of anonymous since she doesn’t do this often and doesn’t know how you would think.

then the next day she approaches you, asking about what secret letter you have in hand like she didn’t sneak those into your bag herself :3

Bonus if you tell her anonymous letters aren’t really your thing then just never read it LMFAO

Anyways just need to go back to doing work 🤧

~ 🍷

~ omg we're going back to the LOSER ROBIN AGENDA guys .. in my head the most loser coded IN SECRET is robin (mostly because i love her and im very much attracted to loser coded women even though i am one myself)

making this a high school/college au :] ~

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

⤷ she thinks she's being soooo slick

⤷ robin is your typical popular girl- gorgeous looks and incredible smile and the kindest soul you've ever met. every guy thinks they have a chance with her, and she just laughs at them because we all know what she is

⤷ one day, she sits down next to you in the lecture hall for some fucking reason and you're just like. Okay? Um. Wow.

⤷ You did not focus that entire lecture btw u were focusing on trying to act normal and okay and totally not freaking out that your long term crush was sitting next to you in all her glory

⤷ that evening back at your dorm, you found an odd letter in your bag. no sender name, nothing. just a blank envelope.

⤷ lowkey creeped out so you threw it out

⤷the next day however...

You really didn't expect her to sit next to you again- you spent all of last night rationalising to yourself WHY she would choose to sit next to you of all people. The lecture hall had been quite full at that point, maybe that's why she sat next to you? Maybe her friends just didn't want to go to the 9am lecture, that also made sense. Yeah. That's probably why.

Throwing your bag down on the ground as you collapse into the uncomfortable lecture hall chairs, you sigh in exhaustion. These 9am lectures were really starting to get to you and you're struggling to keep your eyes open as you take a drink of your coffee.

"Hey."

You look up tiredly, only to widen your eyes in shock when you see Robin, once again, standing next to you.

"Can I sit here?"

She sounds awfully nervous, barely looking at you and you just nod in confusion and she smiles at you and you want to squeal. She sits down, body tense as she awkwardly pulls out her iPad and whatever else she needs for the lecture. You wonder why she's acting so off.

"Everything okay?"

Robin freezes, a light pink dusting her cheek as she nods awkwardly.

"Splendid. I mean- I meant great, who says splendid anymore... Jesus..."

You just eye her oddly as she turns redder, mumbling awkwardly to herself.

The entire lecture was the most awkward experience of your life. Robin would not stop side eyeing you and a part of you began to panic- did she find out about your crush on her? Is that why she's acting so weird around you? But why the fuck is she still sitting next to you then? Oh god, you need to avoid her forever from now on. The second the lecture ended, you ran out of that damned hall before Robin even had a chance to open her mouth, your bag already packed 5 minutes before the professor even ended. You missed the way she stares dejectedly at you, a crushed look in her eyes.

She thought you read her letter and hated her.

You thought she found out you were in love with her.

Robin refused for you to end things like that though. In the middle of the goddamn fucking night, as you were studying, a knock on your door.

"What the fuck..." You mumble tiredly, throwing down your pen and walking over to the door to check through the peephole whoever the fuck it would be bothering you at night "March, if it's you I-"

The rest of the sentence dies in your throat, throwing open the door frantically.

"Robin!?"

There she stood, eyes red from tears, sniffling as she hugs her jacket close to her body.

"What the fuck- it's almost 12am! What are you doing?"

"If you don't feel the same way, why don't you just tell me!"

"What??"

You take her hand, pulling you into her room and you miss the way her cheeks flush at the contact and her wings flutter slightly as you slam the door shut.

"What are you talking about?"

"If you don't like me that way, you should just tell me instead of hiding like a coward!" She sniffles

What.

You stare at her, eyes wide and mouth agape and in other circumstances, Robin would've probably laughed.

"What?"

"Don't act dense!"

"What are you talking about??"

Robin groans in frustration, angrily wiping her tears away.

"The letter!"

"Huh?"

"The- what? Did you not read it?" Robin's angry gaze falters when she takes in the full extent of your confusion, and you tilt your head to the side like a lost puppy.

"Wh- that was you??"

"You didn't READ IT?"

"Why would I read a letter addressed to no one."

You two just kind of stare at each other, uncomfortable silence filling the room as Robin begins to flush from embarrassment.

"Wait, so why were you acting weird when the lecture ended?"

Now it was your turn to flush from embarrassment.

"Don't change the subject! What was so important about that letter?"

"You're literally changing the subject as we speak- why were you acting so fucking weird?"

You cleared your throat, crossing your arms in frustration as you awkwardly stared to the side.

Fuck it.

"I thought you found out I had a crush on you and that's why you were acting so weird and awkward around me this morning I'm really sorry we never have to talk about this ever again." You say in one breath as you stare down at your shoes, mumbling quietly.

Silence. She's probably going to storm off any minute now, she'll tell everyone you're a weird lesbian freak, and-

You gasp when you feel a tug down on your collar, and before you know it she has her lips on yours and her hand on your cheek. You sort of just stand there at first, frozen and not knowing what to do.

"Oh no, was that too much? I'm sorry-"

"Huh..."

You just stare at her, dazed as you move your hand up to gently touch your lips and Robin practically melts on the spot.

"I like you too, you dumbass. You would've known if you didn't throw the letter away! Why would you throw a letter away, what if it was something important like-"

"Can you kiss me again?"

That managed to shut Robin up as she turns red again, a shy look forming on her face before stepping close to you, tiptoeing slightly as she places a hand on the back of your neck before kissing you softly and in that moment you really regretted throwing the stupid letter away- but hey, she's kissing you and you're smiling like a kid in a candy store. Can't complain.

[issdisgrace]

Shit I'm sorry I didn't notice the request info-

Okay, can I please request Thomas Shelby x Tall and buff male reader who's the sweetest thing on earth but has one "flaw".

He's too damn handsy. Place, time, people, pffff, suit, shirt, naked, he doesn't care.

He just really loves Thomas man tits and his ass.

Not in a teasing way, it just makes him relax.

Just Thomas's reaction and how he's dealing with it. Whatever.

Thank you~ 💕

4 TIMES MR. HANDSY STRUCK

WARNINGS: Accidental groping, purposeful groping, swearing, yeah thats about it.

A/N: I hope you like this. I had a fun time writing this, so please feel free to request again.

Y/n was a tall and buff man. He looked like he could kill anyone without a second thought. But in reality, he was the kindest and sweetest thing to ever walk the earth. He was a gentle giant in all senses of the word. But there was one thing about the man that many would consider a flaw. It was the fact that he was handsy, very handsy when it came to his partner, Thomas Shelby. The man couldn’t keep his hands off Tommy. So here are 4 scenes in which Y/n couldn’t keep his hands to himself.

Walking down the streets of Birmingham on the way to The Garrison. It was quiet and peaceful; the sun had actually been out. Unlike most other days in Birmingham. Y/n had his arm wrapped around Tommy’s waist as they walked, casually talking. Tommy hadn’t realized Y/n’s hand slipping closer and closer to his ass until the man squeezed it, causing Tommy to yelp in surprise.

“I didn’t mean to startle you. I’m sorry.”

“I wasn’t expecting it, that all.”

Tommy says brushed it off, and the two continued their walk.

The Garrison was loud with hustle and bustle of the man drinking inside. In a corner booth sat the Shelby family and, of course, Y/n. The family talked and drank, Y/n adding in every once in a while not want to interrupt those who were speaking. Y/n threw his arm overs Tommy’s shoulder and continued onto listening to the conversation at hand. Without even realized himself, his hand moved down and now was on Tommy’s chest. It wasn’t until John made a joke about it out that he and Tommy realized.

“Y/n, you done feeling up my brother for the night? It’s a bit distracting.”

Y/n’s face flushed, and he quickly unwrapped his arm around Tommy, covering his face in pure embarrassment.

“Sorry.” He mumbled in his hands as the family had a laugh.

It was sometime after 10pm when Y/n managed to covince Tommy to call it quits for the night and join him in bed. Y/n sat in bed paeintly waiting for Tommy to be done with his night routine and join him. Eventually Tommy join him and they curled up togeather. They talked for a little bit until Tommy relized Y/ns hands found there way to his chest.

"My prince, can you explain to me how your hands always seem to find my chest."

"I'm sorry. I didnt mean to."

"Shh. It is ok my prince. Im just curious."

"I dont know. I guess touching them grounds me. It makes sure i know that everyting going on is real. But i guess it also calms me. I'm sorry if i make you uncomfortable. I can stop."

"Its fine my prince. I dont mind."

Tommy was hosting a party for the Peaky Blinders in order to celebrate some of their new achievements. The rowdy men happily drank the beer that was in the house and chatted. Tommy leaned against the bar, talking to Polly when Y/n came up behind him, grabbing his ass gently with both hands. Then resting his head on Tommy’s shoulder. Tommy turned his head slightly to look at you.

“Do you need anything, my prince?”

“No, just a little bored.”

“Ok.” Tommy said, then returning to talk to Polly.

The Shelbys, minus Tommy, who was nowhere to be seen, were sitting around having a drink at The Garrison

“Is it me or is Y/n really handsy with Tommy? I feel like half the time I see him with him, he’s either grabbing Tommy’s butt or his chest. It’s fucking weird.” Arthur slurs slightly, the alcohol getting to him a bit.

“Oh no, he is. You're definitely not imaging it, Arthur.” Ada says.

“Sometimes I think the poor thing doesn’t even realize he’s doing.” Polly adds in.

“Its fucking funny as hell. Have you seen the way some newcomers react when they see it happening? It’s fucking priceless. Their eyes get all wide and shit and they look like they’ve seen the most traumatic thing in the world.” John said.

“I’ve heard some newcomers people ask around, asking if it was a normal thing.” Finn adds.

“I know it’s also grate to see their reactions when they're told it’s a normal occurrence.” John says. After he says that, out of nowhere Tommy appearing

“What are we discussing this fine evening?”

“Nothing.” The other Shelby boys say at the same time like a kid that got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

[lynnlovesthestars]

Sleep tight.

Pairing: Astarion x OC (Lynn, changeling sorcerer)

Genre: Fluff

Synopsis: The shadowlands are not welcoming and Astarion needs help falling asleep

Warnings: Astarion overthinks the shit out of cuddles.

WC: 1.1k

AN: im sick, so sorry if there's any errors, i wrote this a few nights ago so idk if there's any errors, but covid got my ass. I will get back at answering the headcanons when im going to be able to type without feeling sick- so yeah. I hope u like it

Taglist: @sessils @spacebarbarianweird Masterpost Kofi Patreon

The night dawned quickly over the tired group, the shadowlands had something in them that drained them of their energy. It could have been the constant fighting- or the gloom- but they were exhausted by the time they set up camp.

It was unsettling when everyone retired to their tents, even the ones known for being the loudest or chattiest were suddenly silent. Some even resorted to keeping their tents open- like Lynn- just enough to have a clue of what was going on outside since the silence took over before they even knew it.

The shadows lingering right at the edge of the small clearing haunted everyone as they tried to get as much rest as possible.

Lynn quickly discarded his clothes in the corner, grabbing his trusted blanket and wrapping it tightly around his body before tucking himself in his bedroll. It was a different type of cold that ran through everyone's body, it was rooted deeply in their bones and eating out as much as possible. They almost thought that the shadow curse was actually eating them alive if it wasn't for the Harper's reassurance before they had left the inn.

Nevertheless it didn't erase that overwhelming cold as they laid to sleep.

Lynn surprisingly didn't take long to chase the exhaustion, despite he didn't fully fall asleep, for the time being, dozing in and out of sleep was enough for him as he tried to picture a peaceful scene in his head.

A roaring fire, a plaid, Astarion clinging to him as they rested close and exchanged delicate kisses. What he imagined as peaceful in his quite stressful life.

Astarion paced back and forth in his tent, his body unable to stop fidgeting as he bit his nails and retraced his steps to find out where he fucked up.

"Shit, shit, shit" He facepalmed as he couldn't help but recall the way Lynn had held him those few times he had fallen asleep in his tent after a feeding.

His whole body was taught, impossible to fall in meditation when his head had other matters to focus on, so when he was thinking again of Lynn, and the way he held him, Astarion decided to give it a shot.

Astarion could never truly move on from it, he held him as if he had been precious, he placed soft kisses on his forehead and he'd gently scrape his nails on Astarion's body, or how his fingers tangled nicely in his curls as he gently massaged his scalp. He didn't know feelings well, but he was sure that was the closest he had even been to feeling loved.

And he wasn't even good at hiding how those pure touches affected him. Nothing could hide the blush on his cheeks or the goosebumps on his skin, the way he's clutch tighter to Lynn as if he was afraid he'd disappear.

He didn't have to feel anything more than whatever people that co-worked felt like, he rumaged as he stood in front of the flap of his tent.

He scoffed at himself as he pushed it open. "It's just making sure he's not dead" He thought. "I'm confirming he doesn't hate me yet" He strode past the rest of the tents to Lynn's, even as he walked he could peak inside, where the changeling was sprawled in his bedroll, his hair spread all over the place as he laid half asleep, staring at the cloudy sky.

The latter didn't notice him coming to a halt in front of the tent. "Lynn?" He kneeled close to the other as he placed his palm on his cheek, earning a 'mh' as the other turned to look at him. Lynn's eyes were glassy with sleep as he laid on his side. "Can I stay here with you?" Astarion managed to ask with an unfamiliar shyness he could hardly tame, while his pallid cheeks suddenlt burnt with heat.

Lynn simply nodded, lifting the duvet- still messily wrapped around him- and the bedroll's flap while his free hand gently grasped at Astarion's wrist and tugged him in. "Come here" He murmured once the elf didn't hesitate to sneak in the cocoon.

The warmth alone could have helped him sleep, but the closeness with Lynn truly had something he couldn't name that relaxed him.

Lynn didn't think it twice, his arms quickly found respite around Astarion's hips and pulled him to his chest, and the moment his naked legs tangled with Lynn's he swore everything was lifted off his back.

Lynn didn't as why Astarion was there or why he pocked him to rest with, he simpley accepted Astarion in the closed space as if it was something normal to do with him, and Astarion knew it wasn't.

Lynn barely allowed anyone to touch him, firmly reminded everyone to respect his personal space, and yet Astarion played by his own rules, just the fact that he was allowed to literally cling to his neck and feed off him was proof enough of it, no matter how many excuses he would recycle to the rest of the group. Astarion already knew back when Lynn had defended him from the gur, or when he had offered to show him what he looked like, that he was getting way too emotionally attached to him, and yet he couldn't help but sigh in the grasp. What sorcery was it? His body felt lighter and slipping in trance was way too easy.

Astarion gently cupped Lynn's cheek again, their noses brushing as the other closed his eyes and Astarion wondered if he could try and steal just one kiss before it was too late.

"Shit, do you need to feed?" Lynn rasped half dazed with low voice, clearly closer to sleep than what he knew.

"No, just wanted to thank you" He smiled while lingering close. Their lips were barely brushing as Lynn peacefully sighed and slowly blinked. "Rest well" He murmured before he closed the distance between them with a peck- although he swore he kissed his forehead- Astarion was left breathless with his eyes wide open.

"Sleep tight" He whispered back as he sunk in his chest and closed his eyes, allowing Lynn's heartbeat to lull him into trance.

It had been such a fleeting kiss that Astarion couldn't help but wonder how Lynn's lips would taste like, how his tender touch would be once they waked , how his eyes would soften once he'd notice how tightly they were holding each other, and how his lips would curly in a smile when he'd see how nicely their legs tangled together, and before he knew he was finally meditating, shielded by Lynn. That's how he knew he was safe, cause for once he didn't struggle or worry. He knew Lynn was going to be there when the sun- or the shadowlands equivalent- rose, he'd be in his hold.

[loppsided]

hi lovely 🤍 i apologize for the very detailed request i have lol but can i ask for a fic or headcanons of dave’s best friend (fem!reader) accidentally finding out he’s kick-ass?

like… maybe the reader confesses she has a crush on kick-ass, and decides to send fanmail to his myspace page despite dave trying to convince her otherwise. she doesn’t understand why he’s so insistent about it until she sends the message and dave’s phone immediately goes off 🫢

i’ll leave the rest to you from there! again, thank you so much lovely 🤍 your writing is wonderful, don’t ever doubt that!

WARNINGS: dave lizewski x best friend!reader, f!reader, fluff, typical nerdy and nervous dave lol, lots o cussing, classic teenage girl!reader shes very bubbly, first kiss NOTES: the end is such a mess im so sorry! stop thank you so much i really appreciate that. and no worry's, i actually prefer longer requests with detail because it helps me set the scene. so if u have any others that are long, send them my way! also this is such a cute scenario ugh i love his nerdy ass. i donnnnnttt really think i like this buts its not completely terrible so ill post it lol. likes and reblogs appreciated! WC: 960

"because you just shouldn't, ok? god!" dave's whiny voice echoed throughout your room which almost made you giggle before you realized your parents were sleeping. you and him had been going back and forth for what seemed liked hours, all because you wanted to send your new celeb crush *kickass*, a few words of encouragement through his myspace page.

"that's not a good reason, weirdo. your such a baby, its not cringe to send him something. everyone deserves nice things said to them." you pulled your chair into your desk, a slight smile creeping on your lips at the thought of the green vigilante.

dave sat in silence, a little more nervous than he should be. i mean, what the hell was his problem? its just a comment on a damn board, and! its anonymous. dave knew you had a slight crush on the masked crusader, but you would never meet him so who cares?

you began to type, biting your bottom lip as you did. you caught a glimpse of dave out of the corner of your eyes and noticed he had scooted his chair farther away from you. whatever.

'dear kickass, i just wanted to comment about how much i appreciate you, well everyone does. so keep up the great work and keep kicking ass!' you re-read the message before hitting send. your internet had been a bit slower than usual that night, and while you waited for the message to send, dave excused himself to the bathroom. "um ill be uh right back, gotta piss." but as soon as he was about to open your bathroom door, you had noticed the message sent. and a slight *ding* could be heard from daves phone. who texted hi- your thoughts interrupted your own before you whipped your chair around and yelled his name.

he froze, nervous as ever and sweating profusely. "come here." you said calmly, even though you had put the pieces together in your head. you didn't want to overreact before you knew you were correct. he walked over to you, trying not to seem suspicious. "yeah? whats wrong." he said, but his voice cracked in the process which was a dead giveaway. "give me your phone, mines dead and i have to text someone." he paused for a moment before coming up with the most obvious lie ever "uh, um mines dead." you raised a brow, biting back a smile. "but i just heard it ding." he froze again, looking around your room dumbly.

you stood up quickly, startling him as you lunged towards his pocket and grabbed his phone. he tried to grab it but you held it high in the air with one hand, as the other pushed him away roughly. you jumped on your bed and turned it on. and lo and behold there was a notification from myspace. *to: kickass from: *user* 'dear kickass, i just wanted to comment about how much i appreciate you, well everyone does. so keep up the great work and keep kicking ass!'*

you gasped loudly, finally confirming your suspicions. "oh my god! oh my god! oh my godddddddd." you sat down while kicking your feet. "ok i know how this looks but i swear im no-" he started to tell another lie before you cut him off. "why didn't you tell me?! dave lizewski you are such a d-bag, im your best friend and you didn't tell me? this is fucking major!" he sat down slowly. your smile faded as you caught his expression. he looked...sad. like he was embarrassed. he spoke softly, "i just didn't want you to think-" you cut him off again, "that your a famous fucking superhero who kicks peoples asses for fun?!" you both laughed before he begun to speak again. "no....that i was a costume wearing loser. i mean i know im your best friend but your cool. cooler than any 'famous fucking superhero' and i like you too much to seem like a weirdo around you." his voice was barely above a whisper, he probably thought you wouldn't be able to catch that last part but you absolutely did.

you and dave had known each other for what seemed like forever, and despite your crush on kickass, your crush on dave trumped that completely. but you kept it to yourself out of fear of rejection. you two sat in silence for a few seconds as you calculated what you wanted to say. you wanted to be bold, and to tell him how much you liked him. you took his hands in yours and he looked up slowly.

"listen here, you could be wearing nothing but a speedo and a pink wig and i would still think your the coolest guy in the world. i wish you told me sooner, because i want you to trust me dave. and i like you too much to be kept in the dark." you repeated his words back to him as your faces were inches apart and his hands were sweaty in yours. but in this moment you didn't even care. you stared at his lips before pushing your face into his. he was still for a second before he ran his hands up your arms and cupped your face. he pulled back quickly leaving you confused, "so does this like mean you like be back? or am i wrong cuz like i dont-" you laughed at his ramblings "yes idiot, i like you back. and if you wanted..we could make this official. you and me." he smiled as a blush creeped onto his cheeks. "like girlfriend boy- wow. um yea totally. do you like wanna be my girlfriend?" you mirrored his smile quickly, "yes, kickass i would love to be your girlfriend."

[sockiess]

im back ELOHEL (im sorry these are like all sam, im just obsessed with him😣) telling sam you're pregnant, and you think he's gonna get mad and leave you, but he's actually so reassuring about like ☹️☹️ but hes definitely like screaming on the inside cause YOURE PREGNANT 😭😭‼️‼️‼️‼️

we are not gonna mention how late this is!!! 🤗

Pregnancy

warnings: pregnancy and sex mentions (please use protection yall 🙏 unless you’re planning to have a baby than good luck with your journey and I hope it works out)

I starred at the white stick with the word Pregnant starring back at me. I was shaking and tears where running down my face. I mean me and Sam where only 19 —and yeah this was our fault— I mean we didn’t always use protection when it came to sex but it’s still scary and shocking. I had called Sam to come over before I took the test because I knew that if I was pregnant I wouldn’t be able to keep control of myself. And if I wasn’t pregnant I could just tell Sam that we needed to be safer and use protection. Well it was obviously to late for that now.

I knew Sam would be here any minute now so I quickly cleaned up and tried to stop crying. I quickly put the stupid little stick in my pocket and sat on my couch waiting for him to come in. I didn’t bother locking the door and I knew he was here when I heard his foot steps outside my apartment door.

Sam opened the door and softly closed it after he saw my red and puffy eyes. “Baby?” Sam asked softly as he sat down in front of me. “What’s wrong?” He whispered rubbing my thighs and cupping my cheek. “Sam we have to talk” I quickly stood up and stepped away from him. Sam quickly stood up with me and starred at me with sad confused eyes. “What’s wrong?” Sam asked again. “You’re going to hate me” I whispered and quickly moved away from his touch when he tried pulling me closer to him. “Love you’re really scaring me.” Sam said quickly. I just broke down in tears and hugged him crying into his chest. “Just tell me what happened.” He spoke softly playing with my hair. “I’m so so sorry” I sobbed into his chest. “For what?” He stopped playing with my hair but kept his hand resting on my head. “I messed up so badly.” I sobbed even more. Sam softly pulled me away from his chest and looked at me with scrunched eyebrows. “you think that I’m going to hate you and that you messed up…did-did you cheat on me or something?” He blurted out. I starred at him with wide eyes and finally registered what I had said probably sounded like I did cheat on him. “God no.” I quickly said. “Than what’s wrong?” He asked again this time looking mad.

“i’m pregnant.” I blurted out, not him wanting to think that I cheated on him or hurt him in any way. His expression dropped quickly and so did his arms. He starred at me with an expression I couldn’t read. I could see his breathing start to get heavier and he quickly sat down. “When did you find out?” He spoke softly. “45 minutes ago.” I answered as I sat down beside him. “I understand if you want to leave me.” I said to him. “what?” he quickly answered and whipped his head around me. “you think i’m going to leave you to deal with this by yourself?” He asked. “I mean most men don’t want to have children at 19” I said softly. “Yeah well i’m not most men” Sam mumbled while pulling me into his lap.

“Sammy i’m scared” I whispered. “Me too baby..me too” He responded. “But you don’t have to do this alone. I won’t let you.” He said. “What are we going to do?” I asked. “Whatever you want darling, it’s your body and i’ll support whatever decision you make” He smiled at me. “We’re going to be parents” I laughed out through my tears. “We are going to need a bigger apartment” He laughed back. “Good thing I have an amazing boyfriend who knows how to build houses.” I wink at him. “Sammy?” “yeah?” “I love you” “I love you too”

TEEHEE SORRY ITS SO LATE POOKIE😞💔 BLAME TUMBLR💔 I HOPE YOU LIKE IT AND IF YOU WSNT ME TO CHANGE OR ADD ANYTHING LET ME KNOW🫶🫶