#but then again she won’t be aging anymore cuz ya know…

[avirxy]

blight art for some emotional damage

[faithinthefuture28]

Larry songs timeline & what it tells us about the evolution of their relationship

**These are all just my interpretations but the more I listen to the music they wrote, the more it all fits together. ESPECIALLY BECAUSE THROUGHOUT THE YEARS THEY’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT WRITING “AUTOBIOGRAPHICALLY” AND “FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE”

I deffo missed some songs but these stood out to me:

2013

L-Strong: Love isn’t easy (waves trying to break it) but what we have means something and it’s worth fighting for. read: love is only for the brave (Think of how much love that’s been wasted...there’s nothing i’m running from...i don’t care, I’m not scared of love) And we bring out the best in each other so lets not throw this away (i’d do anything to save it...when i’m not with you i’m weaker). 

H-Happily: I want to fight for us too bc we’re on fire and our love is powerful af. ik we have to do stunts and stuff (and if (s)he feels my traces in your hair, sorry love but I don’t really care) but what we have is insane and fuck everyone else bc you’re MINE and i’m YOURS at the end of the day (i wanna be the one who holds you when you sleep). Together, we’re magic so just be with me so happily

H-Something Great: ****this song is very straightforward so i won’t explain it much***** (i want you here with me like how i pictured it so i dont have to keep imagining... We’re better off together here tonight). Written as a longing for what could be if they dont have to suppress the relationship. (script was written...want to rip it all to shreds) Louis’ response (you’re all I want so much it’s hurting) basically says “it’s not too much to ask babe, i want it too.” This has the kind of longing that ‘wouldn’t it be nice- beach boys’ which Harry has admitted is kind of a theme song. 

L-Through the Dark: I know all this bs we’re going through is taking a toll on you and hurts you and i hate seeing you upset (you tell me that your sad...you tell me that you’re hurt and youre in pain and i can see your head is held in shame...i just wanna see you smile again) but I will do everything physically possible to protect you from any pain bb (i’d never let you fall and break your heart, if u wanna cry or fall apart, i’ll be there to hold ya). We’re going through this together and I will take on any responsibility needed to keep you happy.  I’M WILLING TO GO THROUGH HELL TO FIGHT FOR US HARRY LOVE (entire chorus basically).

L-Better than Words: holy fuck our love is amazing can’t even describe it can i just sing to you foreva love u babycakes

L-Why don’t we go there: what if...we just forgot about the world and escaped and enjoyed each others love and rode the high??? Also sex

2014

L-Ready to Run: *******Followup to Why Don’t We Go There*********** But this time let’s escape for real bc (there’s me inside a sinking boat running out of time). Like i’m ready to get out of here and it could just be us living happily ever after (this time i’m ready to run). Honestly nothing else makes sense (without you i’ll never make it out alive...wherever you are is the place i belong). I know what i want out of life and IT’S YOU HARREH (i want to be free and i wanna be yours, i will never look back). 

L-Steal My Girl: all u thirsty hoes find someone else bc Harry is MY pretty princess. Srsly ask his family. But you can still admire how he looks in those jeans. We all do. You know the ones

L-No Control: boy u fine, let’s do what lovers do IN THE MORNING. bc we can. also you own me and i am urs

L-Clouds: WE KNEW THIS WAS GONNA BE HARD SO WHY ARE YOU BEING A LITTLE BITCH (you dont like it complicated...but love is never ever simple...you are tired of all the changes, but love is always always changing). We could be great yo, just keep fighting (if we’re never coming back down, we’ll looking down on the clouds...we go and we go and we dont stop)

H-Where do Broken Hearts Go: IM SORRY LOU BABY YOURE EVERYTHING (rest of my crimes dont come close the look on your face when i let you go... the taste of your lips...is at the top of the list of things i want). H&L’s call and  response at the end is basically forgiveness and acknowledgment (come on baby come and get me out, come on baby cuz i need you now)

H-Two Ghosts: *****was written around this time according to Harry******. This is fucking hard yo. We’re drained and exhausted and idk how much more we can fight for this... (it’s not you and it’s not me...sounds like something that i used to feel). That infatuation and electricity and hope that fueled our younger selves isn’t really there anymore and i’m just tired man (we’re just two ghosts swimming in a glass half empty, trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat, we’re not who we used to be...this was all we used to need). We’re empty vessels going through the motions (same eyes blue, couple more tattoos). AND WE AREN’T FUCKING COMMUNICATING (we dont say what we really mean). 

2015

H&L-Perfect: so what if... we get rid of the pressure of forever? What if we just have fun doing the stupid shit we love and makes us feel alive (trouble up in hotel rooms, secret little rendezvous, things you know that we shouldn’t do). Like we won’t be out of each others’ lives, I’m still around and we can find comfort in each other and even mess around here and there (I can be the one you love from time to time). Remember how we used to be young and EXCITED (when i first saw you from across the room, i could tell that you were curious) let’s get that energy back without the responsiblity of an adult relationship. And we can keep making art lmao (if youre looking for someone to write your breakup songs about). 

L-Long Way Down *****this song fkn hurts man. It’s overlooked a lot but shows so much insight**** We were...everything. And maybe that’s the problem? We’ve been through so fucking much, more than anyone our age should have to endure. (We've been in fire, Went down in the flames. We sailed the ocean And drowned in the waves. Built a cathedral But we never prayed) We didn’t know what we had. We were damn kids man. We weren’t prepared for all this. We didn’t know how powerful this would be. We didn’t know what it required of us. (We had a mountain But took it for granted. We had it all yeah. Who could’ve planned it). We didn’t know what to do with it, how to deal with it, so here we are. (We had a spaceship But we couldn't land it) We’re each other’s everything, but we can’t keep going on like this babe. (We found an island But we got stranded). I don’t want to leave you but being together is breaking us down. (Point of no return and now It's just too late to turn around) We thought we were untouchable. That love conquers all. Maybe, we were wrong. This is gonna hurt like a bitch (We built it up so high and now I'm fallin', it’s a long way down)

H-Olivia: I LIVE FOR YOU, I LONG FOR YOU, I LOVE YA. And i think i’ll always love ya. And I’m scared...of life without you (i get the feeling you’re walking out, time is irrelevant when i’ve not been seeing you, the consequences are falling now, there’s something i’m having nightmares about...dont let me go). But maybe just maybe thats okay, because you’re AIMH (you live in my imagination...i love you, it’s all i do). 

L-Love you Goodbye: I fucking love you and I’ll always fucking love you but i think this is the right thing to do even though it feels so wrong (i know there’s nothing i can do to change it, but is there something that can be negotiated?) We made some goddamn fireworks together though (unforgettable together held the whole world in our hands) and do ya maybe think...we can make them just once more? (if tomorrow you wont be mine, let me give it to you one last time, baby let me love you goodbye...one more taste of your lips just to bring me back to the places we’ve been and the nights we’ve had because if this is it, then at least we could end it riiiiight). ********in the interview with our FAVE Gwen Garcia, she asked if it’s better to say goodbye and end a relationship that’s not feeling right or keep trying even if your heart’s not in it. Harry responds with “I think it’s better to say goodbye...but sometimes if youre trying to protect..” Then Louis cuts him off and says “you’re going deep aren’t you”, brushing the question off as a joke but imho i think there was pain in that answer. Then Harry continues “if you’re not 100% in it, I think it’s better for both parties if you say goodbye”. And Louis adds a “yeah” at the end.********

H-Walking in the Wind: I know this is scary but i think we can do it, (you said to me do you believe i’ll be too far? if youre lost just look for me you’ll find me) I think because youre AIMH and i’m always in yours, it’ll be good for us. And look at us being mature, we’re killing it babe. We can live our separate lives and grow on our own. We dont need to make it messy and hurtful. We’re on the same page. (the fact that we can sit right here and say goodbye means we’ve already won. A necessity for apologies between you and me, baby there is none). At this point, we’re kinda part of each other right? So it’s healthy for us to be apart for a bit. (it’s not the end, i’ll see your face again... i know we’ll be alright...just close your eyes and see i’ll be by your side any time you need me). And you’ve helped me grow into the person I am, and I you, so that’s cool as hell, right? (you will find me in places that we’ve never been). We had a TON of fun (we had some good times didnt we) so i feel okay that we’re doing this (goodbyes are bittersweet) and starting the next adventure in our lives. 

H-If I could fly: I. am. yours. Louis. William. Tomlinson. (for your eyes only, i’ll show you my heart). Maybe this growth thing isn’t worth it, let me prove to you how much you mean to me (i think i might give up everything just ask me to). This is gonna be hard as shit because i’m so dependent on you (i’m missing half of me when we’re apart). I’m being honest and I’m being scared and I’m being vulnerable because I can’t lie to you and pretend I’m strong (i let my guard down, right now i’m completely defenseless). But we’re part of each other, right? (i could feel your heart inside of mine). I’ll always be here for you Lou (for when you’re lonely and forget who you are) even if for now we can’t physically be together. 

L-Home: I’ve tried, Harry. I’ve tried to play pretend (told myself i kind of like her but there was something missin in her eyes). But i was lost (i was stumblin, lookin in the dark with an empty heart) because none of it was enough, none of it was YOU (it was there i sawr it in your eyes). And then i met you and you felt the same and we’re both lost souls playing pretend who found magic in each other (but you say you feel the same, could we ever be enough?) Is our love enough to overcome everything? Maybe we can be enough. Maybe I can make this enough, let me try to make it enough for you. And if we go our separate ways, know that I’m here for you no matter what. I won’t let you be lost again. (When you’re lost I’ll find a way and I’ll be your light, you will never feel like you’re alone, I’ll make this feel like home). So go. wander. find yourself. Then when you’re ready, come home. 

 2016-2017

H- Sweet Creature: ***Harry admit that this was the first song he wrote for the album**** We aren’t in the best place rn. We’ve been fighting (had another talk about where it’s going wrong...it’s hard when we argue, we’re both stubborn). But it’s you Louis. It can’t be anyone else. (don’t know where we’re going but we know where we belong... wherever I go, you bring me home). That’s not even a question. I’m still trying to figure out who I am, but the one thing I know is that a large part of who I am is you (we started 2 hearts in one home). And aint no way I’m losing that part of myself (when i run out of road, you bring me home). It was always you. 

H-MMITH: Whenever you’re ready, I’m ready (just let me know i’ll be at the door,  hoping you’ll come around). I know I need to work on myself a little more (i gotta get better, and maybe we’ll work it out) but honestly i’m getting impatient and i want things to go back to how they were and i want to be yours again (once you go without it, nothing else would do). But I can’t communicate this to you clearly so let me just put this in a song and hope you get it (we dont talk about it, it’s something we dont do) ****Harry mentioned in an interview that he expresses himself through songwriting when he can’t say the words directly to a person because it’s easier to just write it in a song than have difficult conversations*****

H-ESNY: ****honestly no idea what this song is about but it’s something to do with them fighting and not communicating and being in a weird place before their relationship is rekindled******* edit: this could be about his stepdad

H-FTDT: I MISS YOU AND I’M TOO FULL OF PRIDE TO TELL YOU DIRECTLY JUST COME BACK INTO LIFE LOU I’M LONELY AND SAD AND EMPTY AND IM NOT FUCKING FINDING MYSELF LIKE YOU SAID I WOULD (woke up alone, played with myself where were you...we havent spoke since you went away, why wont you ever say what you wanna say) So until then I sit and wait for your sorry ass to make the first move (maybe one day you’ll call me and tell me that you’re sorry too...but you never do). Also like i have to hear from other people how you are?? (i saw your friend that you know from work, he said that you feel just fine) ANd you’re sharing OUR clothes with people?? wtf just swallow your pride and call me 

L-Miss You: OKAY BUT I CANT JUST CALL YOU BECAUSE I HAVE PRIDE TOO also my mates are trying to make me get over you (now i’m asking my friends how to say I’m sorry, they say lad give it ttime there’s no need to worry, and we can’t even be on the phone now). So i’m just numbing your absence with partying and drinks but CLEARLY ITS NOT WORKING (should be laughing but there’s something wrong...shit maybe i miss you...when i feel it coming up i just throw it all away, get another few shots cuz it doesn’t matter anyway...such a good time, i’ll believe it this time). This is weird bc like you were my everything but im trying to get used to this and it fucking sux (oh how shit changes, we were in love, now we’re strangers). And tbh, its scary af bc what if this is it (i’m asking myself, is it over?). BUT ALSO LIKE WTF U COULD REACH OUT FIRST YA KNOW (i’ve been checking my phone all evening).

H-Anna: wtf Louis how do you not see how much this is killing me. I miss you so much and seeing you on tv or in pics drives me wild bc you’re not mine. (I don’t want your sympathy but you don’t know what you do to me...everytime I see your face there’s only so much I can take...I guess it would be nice if I can touch your body). And idk if you’re replacing me (don’t know where you’re laying, just know it’s not with me) and we’re in SUCH a weird place rn how do I tell u you’re the loml (don’t know what I’d say if I passed you on the street...don’t know what I’d tell you if you asked me for the truth) so I refuse to put this song on the album and let you know this and give you satisfaction from knowing how gone I still am for you bc I have 0 idea how you feel (hope you never see this and know that it’s for you)

L-Always You: SO THIS IS ME SWALLOWING MY PRIDE STANDING IN FRONT OF YOU SAYING IM SORRY FOR THAT NIGHT... ok but fr i miss u i miss u i miss u i miss u and nothing else compares like i can travel the whole world and all i think about is how much more fun it was with you and the memories we shared and i wish i could just say thx fr th mmrs and move on but actually no thx actually fuck you for making me not able to enjoy my life without you. So like...come home? and wrap your legs around me? also lmao i took El to a gay bar in amsterdam for her bday lmao i miss u come cuddle me and i’ll tell you all about it

L-We Made It: looks like we made it, look how far we’ve come my baby. They saidd I bett they’ll never make it, but just look at us holding onn, we’re still togetherr, still going stronggg. Also to the fans, miss our single bed and the nights we talked about our dreams :-* also Andrew my man luv u

2018-2019

L-KMM: our love was youthful and exhilarating and fucking electric and i think it still can be. dont know what i’d do without you now H 

L-DLIBYH: We’re strong babe and we’ve grown and we aren’t gonna let life drag us down. I’m doing better, you’re doing better, this is what we wanted. And now any shit we go through, we’ll go through TOGETHER 

L-Too Young: Okay but looking back, that was a lot of shit we went through and we were just babies and i’m sorry for not fighting harder (i cant believe i gave in to the pressure when they said a love like this would never last so i cut you off cuz i didnt know no better) baby i tried, i tried to protect you but like it was just so much and i hate that you got hurt and i wont ever let that happen again. ALso go us for being mature and COMMUNICATING (face to face at the kitchen table, we can finally have a conversation that I wish we could’ve had before). ANd i know you’re an arrogant son of a bitch who can’t admit when he’s sorry so here let ME say i’m sorry that i hurt you darling. Like we were too young to know we had everything BUT now we’re old(er) and can realize that when we’re together, we DO have everything now and omg is this our happily ever after and we can have a daughter and name her Darcy 

L-Habit: do i need to spell it out for you iiiiii aaaaaaaaammmmmmm sssssssoooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyy. But tbh i let you go because it felt right because mentally you were already out the door and i needed to give you room to grow babe. And i needed the space too (you gave me the time and the space i was out of control and i’m sorry i let you down). but like also i’ve learned i can’t escape you Styles. You’re always in my fucking heart and my fucking mind and in every essence of my being and somehow I knew that 9 years ago and it took me this long to realize how powerful this really is (guess that that i know what i already knew, i was better with you and i miss you now). Ooooh also my favorite line i wrote (took some time cuz i ran out of energy of playing someone I heard I’m supposed to be and honestly i dont have to choose anymore) like who am i kidding, im done pretending i just wanna be yoursss now

L-Defenseless: I can’t help it okay theres something about you that doesn’t let me stay away. I need you and I know that rekindling this relationship isn’t going to be easy even though it feels so so right. It’s going to be hard work (sleeping on our problems but we’ll solved them in our dreams, wake up early morning and it’s still under the sheets) and we need to communicate and solve our problems but here I am, raw and unfiltered and emotionally naked in front of you ready to lay it all on the table (not sure how to say this right, got so much to lose. NEver been so defenseless). So like this branch I’m reach out to you and you be honest with me too babe (you dont have to keep on being strong for me and you. Acting like you feel no pain, you know i know you do...I can’t get inside, when you’re lost in your pride but you don’t have a thing to prove). Be open with me. Lets talk. Let’s solve problems. Lets have an adult relationship. I’m asking for a little vulnerabiltiy babe. It’s just me. Theres nothing to be scared of

L-Walls: And here you have me in my purest form. No lies, no secrets, no insecurities to hide behind. Losing you was fucking painful but i got through it. I’ve been through hell and back and I’ve fought. And without you, I grew into the person I am. And any further growing i’m doing is gonna be with you. bc it was all for you babe. and honestly i can take anything life throws at me now. I’m strong baby. I’m fucking strong and fucking brave and fucking resilient and...fucking yours. ***** wtf is the I just hope i see you one day and you’ll say to me oh oh********

H-Golden: You are the literal sun and I’m not ready. YOU’RE SUCH A GOOD PERSON (you were way too bright for me, i’m hopeless, broken, so you wait for me in the sky). I’m scared to go through this alone, I need your comfort and your guidance (i can feel you take control of who i am and all i’ve ever known). But you’re scared to go through this with me bc you dont wanna get hurt and i’m too open so where tf does that leave us. ******this could be about coming out especially with the London AND NY secret shows where Harry added the lyric I’m hoping someday you’ll open*******

H-Adore You: You dont have to say you love me, you dont have to say nothing, you dont have to say you’re mine. I’d walk through fire for you. Just let me adore Lou. Like its the only thing I’ll ever do. read: Louis is a great person to just admire what he’s like. ALso I dont need anything back. I just dont want to hide my love for you anymore. I don’t need answers or promises. Just let me adore you. ********the music video is also basically a Louis appreciation post. He was the boy with the smile that the world took away from him. He found Harry lost and loved him and nurtured him and made him confident and allowed him to be who he wanted to be. But in doing so, Harry became big and unsatisfied and wanted to explore the world and was clearly interested in Hollywood and Rockstardom especially evident in his behavior 2014-2015. And Louis wasn’t about that life and didn’t want to hold him back. So he let him free. But they realized that they don’t work apart. Wherever they’re going, they’re going together, as the boy sails into the unknown following the fish. I see it as Harry’s version of “this one is a thank you for what you did for me” ************* I see it, I appreciate it, and I love you for it

H-Lights Up: ****fight with Louis. (What do you mean I’m sorry by the way) About coming out? About fame? (Step into the light, so bright sometimes) Either way, L is the guy driving the motorcycle in the video who makes H feel comfortable and safe until they get pulled over because SOMEONE wont let them love*******

H-Falling: What if i’m out, what if i’m someone you won’t talk about? Okay maybe I lied I do want you to claim me. Would me coming out of the closet make that hard for you? I CAN’T GO THROUGH AN IDENTITY CRISIS WITHOUT YOU LOU. I picked someone supportive and now I’m spoiled and I dont know how to be with myself. You want back in my life but what if I dont deserve it? (you said you cared and you missed me too...what i’m someone i dont want around). What if you’re better off without me? (i get the feeling that you’ll never need me again). I know youve been through so much shit because of me, things you’ve never even told me about and im afraid...that I wasn’t worth it. Am I being selfish? because either way, i want YOU (what if you’re someone i just want around). Does that make me a bad person? 

H-TBSL: ****Probably when they starting talking again but it was v casual and they didn’t really discuss their relationship yet*****. I MISS U BUT I WONT TELL U THAT and its nice to talk to u again i missed your voice but if u call me baby i will kill u bc that word has weight OKAY. Like i know you just call everyone babe and darling and sweetheart but baby is FOR ME and only for me when you wake up with me and cuddle me and if you think you have any right calling me baby without giving the luxury of being in a relationship with you then piss off because that shit hurts dude. (i know that you’re trying to be friends, know that you mean it...it’s hard for me to go home to be so lonely). ALso it’s not my fault i’m like this, you literally captured my heart when i was 16 like wtf do u expect (dont blame me for falling, i was just a little boy)

H-Sunflower Vol. 6: we were babies and i was so enamored by you and you’re so bright and beautiful and i want to watch you all day and make you smile and i want you to touch my hair and call me curly and i hope im not making you uncomfortable with my heart eyes but like how are you so perfect. I hope you think i’m cool, i’m really trying but like you’re SO FUNNY and charming and everyone loves you i hope im not embarassing myself. And now it’s like 8 years later and i think i can have you again and i want you so bad but i dont wanna seem too eager and im trying to have dignity and not text you first but like also i want nothing more than to talk to you. Do you think i’m cool now? did you like my new hairstyle? Do you think i’m funny on tour? I want everything i want to be domestic again and kiss in the kitchen and i want to cook for you and as;ldfa;sdhaf i want to buy you flowers everyday and shower ur cute face with kiss. boopx28 

H-Canyon Moon: Hell yea i got ma man back and i have a girlfriend named Jennifer ;) and we are domestic and even though I HATE being away from him for work (so hard to leave it) we have the 2 week rule yall then i can wrap my legs around him and after so so so long I’ll be h.o.m.e. Also did i tell you his eyes are so so blue like sky who i dont know her

H-TPWK: So we’re really doing this. We don’t need to have it all figured out. We can just be us. and happy. and dance. The world loves us babe. (Giving second chances, I don’t need all the answers and if we’re here long enough we’ll see it’s all for us and we’ll belong)

H-Fine Line: You’ve got my devotion but man I can hate you sometimes....We’ll be a fine line. Between what? love and hate? public and private? out and in the closet? each others’ and ourselves? Idk. But i’m going to swallow my pride (my hands at risk I fold) because no matter what, the worst possible outcome is not having you. And I never wanna go through that again. I know we have work to do on our relationship (spreading you open is the only way I know you). And there’s lot of unknown here (there’s things that we’ll never know) but what i do know is that i cant resist you (you sunshine you temptress) and i cant be without you ever again. I think it’ll be hard as hell. But when have we known love as anything but hard? And when have we known our love as anything but worth it? We’ll be a fine line baby. But i know, i knowww with every part of me that we’ll be alright. Because these past 10 years, we’ve been through A LOT. ANd it could have ruined us and made us cynical and cold and closed off. And I think at one point it did. But you know what we did? We fought it. We fought it together. Then we fought it individually. And we became BRAVE. And a brilliant man once said, “love is only for the brave”. 

[amor-immortalem]

My Adoring Fan Chapter 2

chapter 1 chapter 3

“Does that happen often?” Cyrus asks as he and Azalea stare down at the message.

“More or less... Aurelius typically doesn’t open his fan mail anymore to avoid an... incident” Azalia nods. “Long time ago some pervert sent him a pretty disgustin’ picture and letter t’match it. Mum and Dad got rid of it right away, but they still come in droves so he just stopped openin’ them all together if he didn’t like the smell of ‘em. I’ve even fought some of the senders once I got a hold of the return address. To me, the trouble I get into is worth it if my little brother can get some peace when it comes to those things...”

Cyrus nods at that. “I can’t fault you for that. Probably would have done the same thing myself... I wonder what was in that letter that has him so upset.”

“I couldn’t tell ya, but looks like Imma have to fight a motherfucker again...”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. Surely you can resolve it peacefully, right?”

“Not a chance. They won’t learn their lesson that way and they’ll continue to harass him... I’d do anything to make his life easier...”

“What about this good streak you’ve been on? You really want to throw that away over a letter? Plus, I really don’t think you should be fighting anyone considering you’re missing an eye now...” Cyrus is trying so hard to guide his little sister away from the path of violence and literally has to guide her away from walking straight into a lamp post on her right side. “Your depth perception is off and you have no idea what’s coming on your right side anymore; do you think you could really last that long in an actual fight when your opponent could take advantage of the fact that you can’t see properly anymore?”

Azalea was quiet for a moment before speaking. “...No. Ya didn’t have t’remind me, though.” a small pout forms on her face as she places a hand over the eyepatch that covers her missing eye and they reach the House of Lamentation. “I feel so useless now since my eye was gouged out. Everybody has to guide me around or help me do simple tasks like cooking and it sucks cuz I ain’t that helpless. They’re all treatin’ me like a toddler- like I can’t do anything for myself, ya know? Especially Mum and Dad. You and Aurelius are prolly the only ones who don’t baby me...”

“It does seem to be the case-at least to me. I think it only comes from a place of love though- good intentions, if you will. Think of it this way, your everyday life has changed dramatically. You have to relearn how to do most things while compensating for the fact that you don’t have use of that right side of your vision as you once did. Everyone just wants to make sure you don’t manage to somehow hurt yourself by walking into a wall or trip over something or when you’re doing things like cooking, where you could cut off a finger or slice you palm open when grabbing for a knife- get what I’m saying?”

She nods, “And what about the two of you? Y’all don’t act like that.”

“We’re taking a more laid-back approach to it. We’ll let you do things on your own, but if you look like you’re struggling, we jump in and help. Let’s go in now unless you want Zulima to start cooking instead of you?”

“Yeah, hard pass on that- I wonder if I can bribe Max into helpin’ me tonight again if I need it...” The teen says as she heads inside with her older brother not far behind her.

“You probably could,” Cyrus chuckled as they stepped inside.

------------------------------------------------------

“Hey, Aurelius, I noticed you haven’t started dinner yet, do you want me to start on it?” Zulima asked as she peeked her head in the door way. “Hakan’s starting to get unruly.”

“I asked Azalea to do it tonight. I know it’s my turn, but I’m just... I don’t feel very good. Who brought those letters up here? Do you know?”

“Letters?” Zulima strokes her chin trying to remember if they had gotten any mail today, “I remember Max said you had mail, but I didn’t realize you had fan mail in there as well. Did you accidentally open on of those letters by mistake?” She moved into the attic room and sat next to her cousin on the bed. “Would you mind if I gave you a reassuring hug?”

“That’s fine and no it wasn’t one of those letters but I got one like I’ve never gotten before.” Aurelius said he leaned into the hug. “It really scared me because the sender is a fellow student at school- they may even be a classmate of ours.”

“Can I see it?” Zulima asks. “Do you know who sent it- like a name? You’re very popular among the girls so it could be one of them...”

“It’s on my desk over there. They didn’t sign with anything but an initial. The return address is marked for the House of Sorrow... Zul, should I quit modeling once my contract expires? I love it, but these letters are becoming out of hand and making me think it's not worth it anymore.”

“I don’t think you should,” She replies, “but I can’t tell you what you should and shouldn’t do. That’s only something you can decide on your own. For what it’s worth though, you seem very happy and content when you model. It’s clear that you love it and you shouldn’t let some creeper turn you away from something that brings you happiness.” She looks down at the letter in question. “My stars,” She gasped. “Whoever this is treading on the border of rabid fan and obsessive stalker. They make the stalkers my dad gets look rather tame actually.”

“I know right?! They’re crazy! They don’t even know me and they say they love me? Seems like they only love my looks. It’s rather shallow.”

“Agreed, I need to get back to the younger ones now. I left Solaris in charge of your brother and Meli in charge of Hakan but neither of them is very good at looking after small children.”

“Good luck. Mahlon can be a handful sometimes.”

“Oh, I know, but that’s what makes it fun. He reminds me of your sister when all of us were that age.” She smiles as she left. “Feel better!”

------------------------------------------------------

Find more on my masterlist

[vixenpen]

Neighbors

(Hawks x Miku x Bakugo)

Chap.6 Daddy💦💦💦

The warmth between her legs was familiar. A dull thrum of pleasure spread from her core through out her entire body.

Miku’s hips undulated, her body desperate for more.

Scenes and faces blurred before her eyes, painting a confusing tapestry of shapes and colors.

Brown hair. Blonde hair. Soft cheeks. Rough hands.

Golden eyes that smoldered and teased.

“You like that, Angel?” He smirked up at her.

“Yessss...” she sighed.

She held his head in place, back arching as his tongue danced around her clit. His fingers flexed, sending a sharp, electrifying pleasure zipping through Miku’s body.

“My Dove.”

Dove?

“You taste so good.”

That voice...

Lips tasted her dark skin from her thighs to her toned stomach to her big breasts until they reached her lips.

She laced her fingers through his soft, blonde hair and kissed back with just as much fervency as he was giving her.

Blinking the sleep from her eyes, she mumbled: “Katsu...”

“Morning, Dove.” He grinned back at her.

“H-how did...what are you doing here?” She sat up, causing the sheets to slip down her bare body.

“I felt bad for missing out on dinner last night so I wanted to surprise you this morning.”

“You...” she blinked again in surprise, “baby, that’s so sweet.”

“So are you,” He grinned. “I was supposed to making breakfast in bed, but uhh, I got a little hungry myself.” He smirked, licking his lips.

Miku snorted. Bakugo kissed her once more before hoisting himself off of her.

“Chill here, I’ll get Your breakfast.”

As her boyfriend ambled through the kitchen, Miku’s mind wandered over the very lucid dream she had just woken up from. She barely knew this man. He had hardly touched her, and yet, that touch felt as if it had burned itself into Miku’s very memory.

As Bakugo re-emerged with a bowl of homemade oatmeal and fresh fruit He quizzed: “Did Konan come over last night or something?”

“Huh?”

“The glasses and plates. I noticed there were two sets.”

Miku slowly dig into her breakfast as she replied.

“No, ah, Hawks came over for dinner.”

Bakugo’s handsome face clouded with anger, immediately.

“He what?” He asked in a voice much calmer than his expression.

Oh fuck...

“Look, I told him I would make him dinner sometime as a thank you for helping me move in.”

“I told you about dealing with that guy, Miku.”

“Don’t start.” She rolled her eyes. “It was a simple dinner.”

“A simple dinner that required you two to drink an entire bottle of wine?” He snapped back, crossing his arms. Miku’s gaze hardened, defensively.

“What are you trying to imply?”

“What the hell should I be trying to imply?“

“Katsuki,” Miku sighed, “it’s too early in the morning to do this shit, can we just eat our food? Please.”

“Nah, fuck that. I’m only gonna say this once, Miku, I don’t want that dude in here if I’m not here.”

“Excuse the fuck outta you,” Miku’s neck rolled with her growing anger. “I’ll have whoever the fuck I want over at my house.”

“Not with my name on the lease, you won’t.”

“Oh ho, so you’re gonna dangle the lease in my face now,” Miku sat her tray to the side. “You think Cuz you paid for a little condo, you’re what? My daddy now or somethin’? Baby boy don’t you ever forget that I don’t need a nigga for an apartment, a car, a boat or shit else. Ive never known Sessui Shirogane a day in my life, so unless you’re him, don’t talk to me like you’re my daddy.” Tossing off the sheets, she hopped out the bed in a huff.

“Where The fuck do you think you’re goin’?” Bakugo demanded, gaping at her in anger.

“To get ready for work.”

“Miku, I’m not done talking to you.”

“Well, I’m done talkin to you, so you and your breakfast and get the fuck out.”

Before she couldn’t even get two steps away from her bed, Bakugo gripped her wrist, sending her hurtling back first against the soft pillows.

He was on top of her in an instant, his red eyes flashing with anger and lust. She could feel his erection rubbing against her still sensitive clit.

Her chest heaved. The fire was back and more intense than before.

Pinning both her wrists above her head, Bakugo freed his throbbing erection from his jogging pants.

“What you not gone do this morning, Dove, is talk shit to me in my house. Understand?”

“Fuck you.” She shot back.

A growl clawed it’s way from his throat and in one movement, he plunged into her.

“Ahh, fuck!” Miku exclaimed

Bakugo grabbed her throat. His hips bucked against her own, thick dick pummeling her pulsing wet walls until the only sound were the gushy smacking sounds of him inside her.

“Ka-Katsu, Katsu-ki,” Miku choked out.

The deep pressure inside her had her clawing at his back.

“Yeah,” he growled into her ear. “This shuts you the fuck up doesn’t it? I know how to shut your ass up.”

“Oh...god..”

It hurt so good, her own hips were snapping up to meet his—drool trickling from the side of her gaping mouth.

“That nasty little mouth of yours is only good for suckin this dick, you understand, Swan? Huh?”

He was met with garbled groans and broken sentences.

“Say it, Miku,” he bit her ear before hoisting her thick, dark thighs above her head.

He groaned low in his throat at the deeper angle. Her plush pussy was practically swallowing his dick.

“Wet as a mutha fucka,” He chuckled. “You’re mine, Angel, understand? I own this pussy. Now whose your daddy?”

Mustering what energy she could, she hacked up all the moisture she could manage and spat on his cheek.

SMACK!

Her cheek smarted on the impact.

“Oh you wanna play like that, huh bitch?” A feral grin crossed his face. “Alright then.”

He pulled out of her. Before Miku could whine in protest, she felt him sink slowly into her ass.

“OHH GOD!”

He chuckled through his own groans. Eschewing the usually steady pace they usually started with in anal, he hammered into her.

“Oh gaah, fuck, fuck, fuck! Yesss! Shit!”

His face hovered in her vision completely as he glowered at her. He grabbed her jaw roughly.

“Now, who the fuck is your daddy?” He ground out.

Tears stung the corner of her eyes.

“You,” she croaked.

“What was that sweetness?” He rocked his hips slower, punishing her with the slowed pace

“You,” Miku sobbed out, needing her release too desperately to fight anymore. “You daddy. You! Fucking you are.”

“You’re god damn right.” He smirked.

And then the orgasm crashed over both of them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once again, Keigo was faced with a familiar unfriendly face. He stepped back to allow the younger hero to get off the elevator.

“We gotta stop meeting like this.” Keigo quipped.

“Go back to Fukuoka and we will.” Bakugo shot back, stepping up in the man’s face with his arms crossed.

The blonde cocked his head, wearing his signature nonchalanct smirk.

“Ya know man, I’m starting to think you have a problem with me.”

“Cut the crap, Hawks,” Bakugo spat, “Stay the hell away from Miku.”

“Gonna be pretty hard to stay away from her when she’s right on top of me.” The older man replied, coolly.

His slick choice of words made Bakugo’s heart hammer in his chest angrily. He snatched the winged hero up by the collar.

“The fuck Did you just say?!”

Before Keigo could respond, the room next door creaked open. Out popped the head of little Mrs. Abe, an aging Enka singer. She was wearing a worried expression on her weathered face

“H-Hawks? Is everything ok?” She asked, eying Bakugo’s hostile stance.

“Everything’s fine, Mrs. Abe!” Keigo grinned back at her. “Just a little chit chat with an old friend.”

Mrs. Abe looked less than convinced and more than a little worried, but she nodded. “Ok then,” and ducked back inside.

Using the distraction to his advantage, Keigo shoved out of the irate man’s grip. He kept his expression neutral, but couldn’t help the hard edge in his voice.

“Look man, I don’t what your problem is, but there’s nothing going on between Miku and I.”

“Of course there isn’t, ‘cuz you haven’t made your move yet, but I know you Hawks. You’re not as slick as you think you are. I see the way you look at her-“

“And how is that?” He chuckled, stepping closer to the blonde. “Is it the same way you look at me?”

Confusion flitted across Bakugo’s face.

“What?”

“You know what I mean. Sometimes you don’t know if you wanna tell me to go fuck myself or if you wanna do it for me. That hate boner you’ve got going for me must be very confusing for you. Unfortunately for you, kid, I don’t bend over for nobody. Especially hot headed man children with anger issues. If you’re that worried about somebody stealing Miku away from you, maybe you should ask yourself where you went wrong to be this insecure in your relationship instead of trying to step to someone you can’t touch on or off the field.” He stepped around the fuming younger man to press the first floor button. “Mind The business that pays you kid, not mine.”

With that final jab, the doors slid shut in Bakugo’s gawking face.

[kermitbread]

putting this here too. it's been a while since I've written anything proper and I've finished this on someone else's computer (I make do lol)

it's also in my AO3 :) ok see ya

Caw, caw, caw.

It was now dusk, the air becoming cooler now that the sun was setting. Everything was silent, from the far away cries of birds up in the sky, to the sound of a swing being pulled back and forth by the children's playground nearby.

The clouds were almost covering the sky, letting the sun illuminate through with a pretty red-orange color. As the wind began to pick up a little, Nene could feel that it was going to get real cold any time soon.

The clackety noise of a bicycle made her turn around. Well, she should have known. Amane always took the same path home as her, and automatically that made them companions everyday.

He pulled the brakes, letting his bike go to a halt. "Didn't I tell you to wait for me, Yashiro?"

"You were busy with Astronomy club, and I didn't wanna bother you." She admitted. Knowing how busy he was ever since he got the position as president of the club, she didn't want to waste too much of his time.

He chuckled, shaking his head as he got off his bike and set it on its stand. "You're never a bother to me, you know."

Nene had to avert her eyes away from him, her grip on her bag's strap tightening. It's times like this that made her feel so… strange. Just being around him would probably make her heart explode, with all the nonsense he would say.

"Hey, Yashiro. Look up over there." Amane's voice guided her back to where he was pointing at. The clouds slightly parted, and she could see the outline of the sun slowly descending downwards.

"The stars are about to come out. I heard there's gonna be a lot out later on when it gets a bit more dark, cuz the clouds won't be in the way for at least a few minutes."

Stars. She didn't know why, but hearing Amane talk about the stars felt comforting, somehow. Seeing his eyes brighten up at the mere mention of them, it was always a welcome sight indeed.

Nene heard him walk up to her side, and unexpectedly take her hand. "Let's go over there a sec!"

"Amane-kun, I'm gonna trip!" She tried to stop the red grazing upon her cheeks, staring at their intertwined hands together.

It was really not fair how he had her feeling this way so much.

He only laughed, proceeding to pull her along to the playground, right towards the swings. Upon reaching the first swing, he let her hand go at last, and she couldn't help but miss the warmth they brought from the chilly air.

"We're not little kids anymore, you know." Nene smiled regardless, sitting on the swing beside him. Amane was known for being the mature one out of him and his brother, but that didn't mean he didn't have a childish side to him.

"Swings are still fun, though. Age doesn't really matter here." Amane grabbed the handles, stepping on the seat of the swing. It wobbled around, worrying Nene.

"You're gonna fall, get down from there."

"Don't worry! I'm used to this." He started swinging back and forth, but Nene couldn't help but remain worried. What if he fell and broke a limb, or even worse—

With one last push, Amane stopped the swing from moving, hopping off, arms up in the air. He turned to Nene with a big smile on his face. "Ta-da!"

"You're lucky you didn't hurt yourself. That was dangerous, Amane-kun."

"You need to relax, Yashiro." He went back to the swing and sat down properly this time, kicking his feet forward a little.

A comfortable silence followed between them. Aside from the sounds of the chain swings going to and fro, and Amane's feet kicking up the dirt below, it was just peace and quiet.

The sun was now near the lower edge, and the stars finally clearly visible right up the darkening sky. Nene looked back at Amane, and was rather taken aback by the sight before her.

He wasn't looking right at her, but he had his eyes up at the stars above. The setting sun illuminated his figure, and it pretty much made him look like some kind of extraterrestrial being.

In a good way, of course.

"Hey." He finally averted his gaze off the sky, turning back to her. "You think there's anything out there that's watching us right now?"

"You mean like aliens?" She asked, and he laughed, as if the question had sounded silly, which it was.

"Something like that, I guess. But have you ever wondered about the possibility that there's something out there, probably light years away?"

Nene hummed, making the swing she was on go back and forth a bit. "Not really. What brought this on, Amane-kun?"

The sun had since long gone, the moon now taking its place up the sky. She couldn't help but notice how Amane's face brightened up at the sight of the moon, and once again it was something that somehow gave her a strange sort of comfort.

She wondered if she did the same to him, in some kind of way.

"I want you to know… that I really really like you, Amane-kun!" The phrase hung around her mouth for so long, all she needed was a little push for it come out.

How would he react, though? Would he accept? Would he just take it for her as one of her jokes? Knowing him, he'd definitely not take it seriously.

Maybe it was best she didn't say that out loud. Not like this, anyway.

"It might seem weird if I tell you." He stopped kicking on the ground, letting the swing gradually come to a stop. Nene shook her head at that.

"I'm sure it won't! You can tell me."

Amane contemplated for a second, the both of them looking at each other intently. Seeing no doubt in her expression, he gave in, turning back to the moon.

"Remember the time we first met? Back in middle school."

Of course she did. It was an important day to remember, after all.

"Yeah." She answered, not really sure where this was going. The nightly air became a bit more chillier, and she rubbed her arm, trying to get herself to stop shivering.

"I found you sitting by that swing you're on, bawling your eyes out." Amane rose both hands to his face, making a mock-crying pose. He had to swivel backwards when Nene tried to shove him off the swing.

She huffed angrily, glaring at how he could only laugh at the whole situation. "For your information, I was suffering a terrible heartbreak that day!"

"Ah, yeah. That jerk of a senpai who turned you down."

"Are you bringing this up just to make fun of me?!" She couldn't see how anything good was coming out of this conversation.

"No, no, it's not like that at all." The teasing tone he had in his voice faded to something more sincere. One by one, the light posts around them lit up as the sky darkened more, and the stars popping up at every corner.

"It's kinda weird, but I was kinda glad you were there that day."

Red eyes blinked owlishly. At her confused expression, Amane let out another light chuckle, leaning himself forward so that his elbows were propped on his legs, head tilted at her.

"I believe there's something out there looking out for you, Yashiro. And I think that's what lead me to meeting you in the first place."

Ah.

Why was her heart beating so fast again?

"L...like a guardian angel? Don't be silly, Amane-kun. You out of all people should know that." Nene waved her hand at him, trying to dismiss his words and the fact her cheeks were beginning to turn red yet again.

He got off the swing, walking towards her and squatting down in front of her so that she could see him face to face. Something tells her he was being serious about this.

"How else would you explain this?"

"Eh… uh… explain what?" It was hard trying to get into eye contact with him without getting flustered about it.

"You, me. An unsuspecting couple of kids. We literally don't match up in terms of how we want to live our life. Yet, here we are." To further prove whatever point he was carrying across, he removed both her hands off the handles of the swing and led them to her lap, their fingers intertwined and all.

Suddenly it didn't feel so cold anymore.

"Something out there cared enough to let our paths cross that day. It knew I'd care enough to stay by your side. Don't you think so?"

She felt frozen on the spot, unable to do anything but watch him, as through the street lights, through the soft shine of the moon, he smiled.

"...yeah. Yeah, I do. I really do." Almost mindlessly she nodded. She had to be careful; she didn't know what she'd do if her heart had bursted from all of this going on.

"To be perfectly honest, I was also happy you came along, Amane-kun." Now her gaze turned shy, preferring to look at the ground below them than right at his eyes.

"You're annoying, you're a perv most of the time, and you never take anything seriously…" She had to grin a little when she could feel Amane grimace at those words, like he had been struck physically.

Finally gathering up her courage, she lifted her head back up, her smile directing to him. "But things probably wouldn't be the same if you hadn't sat there next to me and spoke like my life depended on it."

Here goes nothing.

Nene leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek, and if you think about it, they were awfully looking like a princess giving her knight a reward for his duty.

Doesn't sound too bad, to be honest.

"So thank you, for heeding that call. Thank you for being there by my side."

Amane became a little flustered from the sudden act of affection, as he could only sit back up rigidly and nod. He had a silly little smile on his face, though, and that was enough to know what he was currently feeling.

There were so many words he wanted to say to her, so many things he wanted her to know.

"I want you to know—"

"Y-yeah." Was all he could muster out as a reply.

Nene giggled at his unusually shy demeanor, standing up from the swing and picking her bag up to her shoulder. "Well, it's getting dark out now. Let's go!"

To his surprise, she was the one who grabbed onto his hand first, and she was the one who was now dragging him along the path, smiling all the way.

That crooked, goofy grin of his came back, as he just let her lead him far away, never taking his eyes of her.

"—that I really, really like you, Yashiro."

[detectivejigsawpines]

Relatively Relativity-part 3 (If you give a grunkle Mabel Juice)

Whoa...that was a crazy weird dream…where am I?

Soos slowly opened his eyes-and screamed again when he saw an unfamiliar, wrinkly old man staring down at him anxiously.

“Aaaaah!  Who are you?!  What do you want?!  Where’s Mr. Pines?!”

The old man sighed, and leaned his chin on his hand.  “This is gonna be a recurring thing, isn’t it?”

Something about that voice...plus the thick lumberjack hat perched on his head that looked a lot like the one Wendy used to wear…

“Wait a sec.”  Soos sat up, realizing that he was on the sofa in his break room (even if he was technically in charge now, he still used it as such).  He narrowed his eyes at the old man.  “...Dipper?”

Dipper smiled at him-and even though he was all gray and wrinkled now, Soos could see his buddy peeking out through his face.  “Yeah, Soos.  It’s me.  There was...a bit of an incident on our hike.”

Before Soos could ask for more details, the door burst open again, and the same kid who’d scared him earlier came tramping in, followed by an old woman in a purple sweater who had to be a newly-old Mabel.

“Is he awake yet?”

“Grunkle Stan!” Dipper scolded, whirling around to glare at him, “I told you to wait until I called you!”

“Yeah, yeah.”  He brushed his curls out of his face, and grinned at Soos shamelessly, showing that he had a tooth missing.  “How d’ya like the new look?”

Soos’s mouth opened and shut a couple of times as he looked over the little guy standing in front of him.  Finally he asked, voice quivering a little, “...Mr. Pines?”

“Uh-huh.  New and improved!”  He put his hands on his hips and puffed out his skinny chest as far as it would go.

The smile was wiped off his face when Soos finally registered the truth that he’d been resisting, but could not be ignored: “You’re adorable now, Mr. Pines!!!!”

Immediately his still-pretty-bushy eyebrows drew together in a scowl.  “Say that again and you’re fired!”

Soos shrank away at once.  Anything but that!

“He’s the boss of the Mystery Shack now, you can’t fire him!” old-Mabel protested.

“I’m the one who gave him the job, so I can so!”

“But you shouldn’t!  Not for this!”

Stan folded his arms and turned away, grumbling.

“Wait a minute.  If you guys have switched ages, does that mean that Other Mr. Pines is ad-” he saw the warning glare in Stan’s eye, and quickly changed words- “a kid now too?”

“Yeah; he’s down in the basement analyzing the thing that made us like this.”  Mabel sat down on the other end of the sofa.  “We were hiking, and saw this really cool flower…”

********

Ford realized fairly quickly some more of the deficiencies of his new body.  For one thing, when he got to the basement he started to put on his lab coat-only to remember after doing so that his arms and legs were both a lot smaller, so very quickly he was swamped in seemingly an avalanche of white.  He tried rolling up the sleeves, and then pinning them up with safety pins, until at last he gave up in frustration and just hung it back on the rack (causing him further annoyance, because while he wasn’t that short, he still had to stand on tiptoe to get it on the right hook).

At least he was still capable of wearing safety goggles, he thought ruefully as he climbed up onto one of his chairs and pulled on a pair of now-absolutely-huge latex gloves.

Then he forgot about his predicament for a while, as he examined the flower.

********

“...so until we figure out what the flower did to us, looks like we’re kinda stuck like this,” Dipper concluded.

Soos nodded thoughtfully.  “Dude.  This is intense.”  Then his eyes widened.  “Wait, if you guys got stuck like this, would that mean that you little dudes-” he glanced at Dipper and Mabel, and then corrected himself- “little old-old but used to be little-dudes would die sooner, cuz you’re like super old now?”

“Hey!” Stan protested.  “We’re not that old!”

“You said you were pushing seventy!” Mabel squeaked, eyes going wide with panic.

Dipper already looked like he was about to start hyperventilating again.

“...I was lying!  I faked it on my driver’s license so I could get lots of senior citizen discounts and stuff!  We’re only, like, fifty-seven!  Almost fifty-eight!”  Stan quickly scurried around until he was between his elderly niblings, and put his arms as far around them as he could reach.  “And either way, there’s no way we’re gonna let you guys get stuck like this, okay?  We’re gonna figure this out, and get you back to normal, and you won’t haveta be stuck in gross old bodies for a long, looong time.”

“Hey!”  Dipper swatted the back of his head; Stan grinned at him shamelessly.

“I’m just tellin’ it like it is, gramps.”

“Being turned into a kid again is making you even more of a twerp than usual,” Dipper scolded, though while wearing a smile as he gave him a playful jab in the ribs, and Mabel dove in from his other side to vigorously noogie him.

********

It was another hour before Ford emerged into the light.  His eyebrows were pinched together, and he was chewing his lip as he stepped into the kitchen-none of those was a good sign.

“What’s the word, Sixer?” Stan asked; he was standing on a chair and making Stancakes, under the belief that having breakfast for lunch would, if nothing else, make everyone feel just a little bit better.

Ford grimaced.  “Well, the good news is that my analysis indicates the pollen is not toxic, and doesn’t seem to be inherently harmful.  The bad news is, I’m having trouble figuring out what they’re made of or what kind of magic is in them that caused us to turn into...this.”  He gestured between the four of them.  “It would be much easier if we could collect a live specimen of the plant-we’ll have to go back to the forest and see if we can find one.”

“Good idea!” Mabel chirped, pulling a pitcher of sparkling pink liquid out of the fridge.

Stan brought the skillet over to the table, and gave his brother an encouraging look.  “C’mon, Sixer!  You’ll think better when you get somethin’ in your gut!”

Ford sighed, and sat down at the table with far less resistance than he usually would have.  “What’s on the menu?”

“Stancakes-”

“And Mabel Juice!”

“Pass on the Mabel Juice,” Dipper muttered, filling his cup with water from the sink.

Mabel scoffed at him.  “Come on, Dipper, you’ve never even tried it!”  She filled her own cup with a generous amount.

“I don’t need to try it to know that it would probably send me into premature cardiac arrest.  Especially now that I’m old.”

Mabel stuck out her tongue at him, and then lifted it to her lips and began gulping it down.

And a few seconds later she spat it out, gagging.

“Ugh!  What’s wrong with this stuff?!”  She grabbed up the pitcher and stared at it, making the plastic dinosaurs turn and spin around in their liquid prison.

Dipper went to her side in concern.  “Are you okay?!”

“Yeah, I just-I don’t understand!  I just made this stuff this morning, it should be fine!  But it tastes all wrong, almost like it’s-”  Mabel froze, and her eyes went wide with the sort of horror that only comes from the realization of impending doom.  “...Too sweet.”

Stan snorted after a second.  “Now ya know how I feel about that stuff.”

Mabel shook her head a tiny bit.  “No, I-I love Mabel Juice!  I can’t not like it anymore, just cuz I’m old!”

Ford leaned over and patted her hand.  “It’s a very normal thing for tastes to change as you age.”

Mabel’s eyes had become very big and shiny, and her lip trembled; Ford realized that maybe the wasn’t the best train of thought to go down.  “...Don’t worry, we’ll figure out how to change you back so you can drink all the Mabel Juice you want.”

She managed a tiny smile.

“Wait a second…”

Stan abruptly grabbed the pitcher, and poured some of the juice into his erstwhile coffee mug.  “If it’s too sweet for you now that you’re old, maybe I can actually like this stuff now!”  He looked at Ford with wiggling eyebrows.  “You wanna try some?”

Ford grimaced.  “No thank you.”

Stan shrugged.  “Eh, just as well.  You probably couldn’t handle it.”

Ford’s eyes narrowed, and he shoved his cup over towards Stan.  “Fill it up, Stanley.”

He knew, and he knew that Stan knew, that he’d walked right into that one, but he didn’t flinch away as it was filled almost to the brim.

“Um, guys?” Dipper said, for the second time that day.  “Maybe this is a bad idea-”

They each took a drink.

********

Five minutes later

“I HAVEN’T BEEN ABLE TO HANDLE THIS MUCH SUGAR SINCE I WAS IN MY TWENTIES!!!!” Stan hollered, tearing across the back yard so fast he was almost a blur.

“THIS STUFF WOULD’VE BEEN GREAT FOR HELPING ME GET THROUGH COLLEGE!  I COULD’VE STAYED UP AND STUDIED EXTRA HARD FOR ALLLLL MY EXAMS!” Ford yelled back, just before trying and failing to turn a cartwheel.  He landed clumsily on his rear, and the two boys nearly fell over laughing at each other.

“I feel like I could run a mile!  Or climb a mountain!  Or run up a mountain!  Has the world always been this colorful?  Am I talking too loud?”

“I don’t know!  I’m really not the best person to ask right now, because I’m under the influence just as much as you are!”

“Not so under it you can’t remember all your nerd vocab, though!”  Stan cackled, and then tilted his head thoughtfully.  “Huh...I shoulda said nerd words, so it’d rhyme.  Okay, do over!  You can still remember all your nerd words!”

From the porch, Dipper shook his head in mute horror.  Mabel, at least, had recovered from her despondency over her new aversion to Mabel Juice enough to record a video of her hyperactive mini-grunkles-who, it appeared, were now wrestling each other in the grass, laughing wildly.

“...We should really focus on going back to the trail and trying to find that flower,” Dipper pointed out.

“Yeah, well, tell that to them.”  Mabel pointed to the boys.  Neither of them seemed to be in any condition to focus on something important like finding an enchanted flower.

Dipper’s shoulders sagged.  “We’re not gonna get this fixed today.”

“That’s not the worst thing in the world, though, is it?”  Mabel smiled.  “It’s been years since they’ve been able to have this much fun together; we should give them a chance to enjoy it.”

“But what if there’s some kind of dangerous side-effects to our being stuck in these bodies for so long?  I don’t wanna be stuck like this all summer!”

“Grunkle Ford said he didn’t think the pollen stuff was dangerous!  Just relax, bro-bro!”  Mabel slung her arm around his shoulders and squeezed.  “They deserve a chance to be kids again, just for a little while!”

Dipper still had misgivings...but he had to admit that seeing Stan and Ford chasing each other around and throwing grass at each other was pretty cute to watch.

Even so, he hoped things could go back to normal (or what passed as normal for the Pines family) soon.

********

I’m in my late twenties, and I don’t think I could handle Mabel Juice.  As much as I like sugary food, there’s a history of diabetes in my family, and that stuff sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.

[chaotic-noceur]

regarding pragma.

read it here

Dear @softpedropascal

wow this took so much longer than I thought it would whoops.

So, first off- HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I hope you have the bestest day ever cuz you deserve it!

I’m incapable of forming coherent thoughts so um...here’s a cumulative post of my running commentary because my binge reading plans got disrupted so this seemed... neater? Idk. anyways, here you go. 

Part 1

No matter how many meetings and mediations you two went through, he still found a reason to keep dragging this out.

I read this as ‘meetings and meditations’ and was very confused for a sec 😂

That hat. You got him that hat. He still wore it?

omg u gave the hat a backstory. adkgadflhg 😍

He was tempted. God, was he tempted, but he shook his head and stood up straight. 

This just. Yes. We love a respectful man. 

I love all the little hints that you’re dropping about the reader and Frankie’s backstory. 

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 2

He told himself long ago that be would never forgive her for what she did,

WHAT DID I DO OMG.

“Can’t you, I dunno, sign for him?” he asked.

😂😂Frankie. Sweetheart. Who do you take me for? I can’t forge someone’s signature. I don’t have the skills for that. 

There was a reason he didn’t say goodbye. He was afraid to. He was afraid that if he said them again, he would have to go another five years without seeing her. Or has it been longer?

mY hEaRt

Pope and and Frankie’s ENTIRE interaction. 😍 I love that he can see right through Frankie’s bs, loves him anyways but will give it to him straight. 

He was too busy thinking about how if he had gotten his shit together, he could be living here with her, taking walks to his favorite lake every day.

asdfgadfkglhdf!!! Boo it ain’t all your fault 😢 (or is it 😏)

It’s funny how the simplest touch can cause the most complex feelings—feelings that he had sworn he buried deep inside of him somewhere. It was a complicated thing trying to be angry at her because in that moment all was forgotten and forgiven.

the DEPTH. in these sentences. oml. I’m so ready to learn about this complicated backstory.  

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 3

“I can make him sign ‘em,” he offered.

YES. I love a low key threatening boi.

“Yeah, until you decided I wasn’t good enough,” 

“Did you want to show me what I could have had with you if I wasn’t such a fuck up.” He sighed and put his hands on his hips.

AFGHSKF OMG MY HEART.

“I’m trailing water and mud all over the place but just remember that I saved your life before getting mad, okay?” 

“Nothing. Just like saying your name.”

ahhhh these are precious!!  

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 4

“Yeah. People do that right? Day dates?” He honestly wasn’t sure. Dates weren’t his forte.

🥺 someone help him. He’s so cute omg. 

“We might’ve made out a little too,” he mumbled.

aksfhksdfg look at him turning into a flustered boy!!!

“No. I just…stopped looking up,”

Babes. Idk if the double meaning was intentional but like. Wow. That hit hard. 

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 5

and has a name like ‘Bill’ or ‘Tom’.”

oop. We love a subtle Redfly dig 😂

!!!! IDK WHAT TO BLOCKQUOTE BUT OMG FRANKIE BEING PROTECTIVE. THE READERS BACKSTORY. FRANKIE KISSING AT THE PAST BRUISES. ANGRY FRANKIE OMG. 😭

I’m sorry there’s probably some more amazing stuff after that but t’was not a good ace day so i skipped the smut

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 6

You hid your body from him at first and when he moved your hands, you covered your face. Then he told you to never hide from him—he would always think you were beautiful

🥺🥺 this is so soft omg

sorry skipped the smut but im sure it was beautiful

“I’m not going anywhere.” You moved his arms so you could kneel in front of him. “I’m staying.”

*incoherent screaming*

“You can ask me for anything. I would give up everything I for you.”

The whole ending scene was AMAZING okay but this. This line right here. Big hurt omg. He knows the weight of what he’s saying. He knows how hard the road to recovery is and how many things are gonna try push him off that path. But he says it anyways. And it really really shows just how much she means to him. Brava! 

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 7

lmao I really need to start reading the warnings 😂

She was never going to be sad longer than necessary if he had anything to do about it.

WHERE CAN I GET A FRANKIE OML 😭

“That no matter where we were, when we look up, we’re looking at the same moon.” He looked at her though she was still looking up. “That always kept me going, you know?”

THE SOFT. AHHHHHH

The moonlight seemed to shine directly on her and make her glow like some ethereal being. She was an angel. She had to be. The stars twinkled above them but he had his own right here right now.

eXcUsE mE. wHo gAvE yOu tHe rIgHt tO wRiTe sOmEtHIng tHiS bEAuTiFul

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 8

“Stop ruining my romantic moment, please.

HAHAHAH I LOVE!

I can’t even- Omg. This whole chapter. I have no words

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 9

“I can’t,” he said, voice broken. “Please just let me…let me hold you. Let me…”

IDK THE FULL CONTEXT TO THIS (really hating my ace-ness rn cuz this last line is so heartfelt) BUT OMG BROKEN FRANKIE I JUST. ARGHHH

you realized that you were embracing your entire world right then and there. Letting it go would be the hardest thing you’d ever do.

take my heart and crush it why don’t you omg. 😭😍

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 10

She was hurt again. And it was his fault again.

I can’t do it. I can’t be alone anymore.

asdfghjk GURL. WHO HURT YOU OMG. LEMME HURT THEM BACK. 

His world spun and he felt like he was falling. He fell and fell into the abyss with no one there to save him as the bag felt like it was burning a hole in his hand. Is it hot? He felt hot. Burning up. Had he finally died and gone to hell? God knows that’s where he belonged.

No. It’s just an overwhelming darkness. Nothing. And that’s what he wanted, right? To feel nothing.

*VERY INCOHERENT SCREAMING* This is beautiful writing omg. The raw emotion in this. Holy hell. 

oml. That transition from pure pain and angst into love just *chefs kiss*. Frankie deserves so much 😭

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 11

“It wasn’t supposed to make you cry,”

wHat eLsE wAs iT sUpPoSeD tO dO omg. 

This whole chapter was SO CUTE!!! The way that Frankie just knows things about her. UGH. 

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 12

“What if it’s big and pulls me in?!”

MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY OMG

“I don’t wanna die,” he whispered.

His life felt as though it was falling apart all over again and he realized it was because she was the one that held him together and now that he was leaving, everything was one big mess again.

*inaudible screaming*

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 13

That ending tho! I love that you gave them their own little thing with the moon. Its so sweet 🥰and the Pope-Frankie friendship moments. *melts*

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 14

okay i was gonna blockquote but there was too much to quote This whole chapter felt so raw omg. If you’re pulling from real experience then I’m so sorry you ever had to go through that *pulls you into the biggest hug ever* (assuming you like hugs, if you don’t... i send you an affectionate ‘rubbing my forehead into your shoulder’)

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 15

“You could’ve walked in here with your head shaved and I’d still love it…but…please don’t.”

😂 yessss give me the humour in this sad

still haven’t learnt to read the warnings oml 🤦🏻‍♀️

ahhhh the soft reassuring Frankie content!!!!

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 16

“Probably because it’s Wednesday,” he said.

“It is?” you asked.

“Yeah. What day did you think it was?”

I FEEL SO ATTACKED OMG. What even is time anymore.

asfadsdfgdhk Its so SOFFTTT. Is this what it’s like to fall in love??😭

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 17

hallelujah i’ve finally learnt to read the warnings

ngaww Frankie being all excited and soft 🥺🥺 are they going camping?? are we gonna get Frankie in his element??

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 18

I’m as flat as a board back there.

I feel attacked and this wasn’t even directed at me oml 😂😂

tHeY aRe sO iN lOvE oMg 😍

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 19

I get it, it’s embarrassing, but I’m not judging you for it.

YES. In this house, we don’t judge people who are struggling to find jobs!

“I wouldn’t say them if you didn’t deserve them. You deserve good things, Frankie. You may not feel like you do but you do. Always.”

He sighed and rubbed your back. “If you say it then it must be true.”

*incoherent screaming* we all deserve good things okay 😭

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 20

thank you for the warnings that i’ve finally learnt to read before reading the fic

What if I’m a lost cause? Just some pathetic druggie who can’t get his shit together…mooching off his girl.

NOOO You’re not just some pathetic druggie Frankie😭😭

“Sleepovers? Do I get to paint your nails? Do your hair?”

Our love has aged gracefully kinda like us.

THE SOFT OMG 🥺🥺

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 21

“With all due respect, sir, I’m not and have never been an addict. Yeah, I did drugs. Yes, I hurt your daughter and she had to leave, but you know what, we’re together now and nothing’s gonna change that. She’s forgiven me and she loves me and that’s all that matters.”

YAS. I love this change from nervous wreck to confidence! 

This is so happy and soft and sweet oml. My angsty soul doesn’t know how to deal. 😭

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 22

Sweet baby jesus. It was soft. And then it was not. And then it was soft again and I just. *incoherent screaming* GURL. 

❖❖❖❖❖

ludus

I’m gonna have a house right on the other side of the lake.

asdfgI I Have Feelings.

GURLLL. This was so innocent!! They’re both so young and cute and asgalsfjghsd. 

❖❖❖❖❖

eros

“Are you running away from something?” she asked, and he bristled. “From me because you love me and don’t know how to say it?”

*incoherent screaming* well shit. you go gurl! you call him on his crap!

I skimmed the smut but like Frankie being a nervous wreck is 🥺

If you wanna see someone else while I’m gone, you can.

*more screaming because OMG if only he knew what that would lead to*

❖❖❖❖❖

ania

O damn. I kinda loved his slow descend into darkness... The fact that the reader still clings on to hope and love and just, damn. I’m lost for words. 

❖❖❖❖❖

coda

... 

...

that’s all my brain feels right now. that was dark, but like. a good dark. It was heart wrenching but beautiful and- “I won’t be able to find you if I’m lost myself,” THIS. I just. *chefs kiss* but also, *ugly sobbing*. 

[mybullshitsensesaretingling]

Five Years Time

A/N: I went to Riverside (future birth place of our boy Jim) the other day and got inspired to write something more about his days before Starfleet. So here’s a bunch of random bits and bobs I had laying around all pieced together into one story. If y’all like it, lemme know cuz I got a lot more. 

Summary: You and Jim have known each other your whole life, but your relationship hasn’t always been an easy one. 

James Tiberius Kirk had been the bane of your existence since he had cheated at a game of freeze tag when you were four. You couldn’t, of course, prove that he had, but you knew what you saw. It was your word against his and he was older and more charismatic than any five-year-old had the right to be. He had the whole playground against you in under ten minutes. Without realizing it, Jim had started a war that was beginning to look like it would out live at least one of you. 

“I know it was you!” Jim shouted, dropping his backpack to the ground. 

“Know what was me?” you asked in feigned ignorance. You didn’t open your eyes or tilt your head towards him, too occupied with the sunshine of the first warm day all year. Your forearms, resting against the top of the picnic table, propped you up as you leaned your back against it, your face turned skyward. 

“Don’t play games with me, (Y/N)! I almost got detention because of that stunt you pulled!” 

“And I’m still working off detentions for your stunt last month. All’s fair.” You tried to fight off the smiling attempting to creep onto your face.

“You have no remorse, do you?” he asked. 

“For this? No. For this I have nothing but pride and a deep sense of satisfaction.” The smile won, taking over your face. 

“You’re a real piece of work, ya know that?” 

When you didn’t respond, he slammed his hand down on the table beside your arm. He was angry and he wanted to channel it into something, and you, being the person who usually caused his anger, were his number one choice. 

Well, if he wanted a fight, you’d give him one. 

You snapped your eyes open, lowering your chin to gare at him. He was leaning over you, but you didn’t react to his closeness. 

“I’m a real piece of work?” you repeated. “When you go to the store, your ego has to ride in a separate car. I’d hate to think how unbearable you’d be, if I wasn’t here to knock you down a peg or two. If it’s even possible to be more unbearable than you already are.”

The corner of his mouth twitched up into that stupid smirk that you hated so much. “I really get under your skin, don’t I?” 

“Like the tick you are.” 

“You wound me,” he said with mocked offence. 

You shoved him back so you could stand. “You’re such a jackass.” 

“Says the shithead who’s made my life a living hell since kindergarten!” he shot back. 

“You brought it on yourself!” 

“You’re crazy!” He stepped back and threw both arms out to gesture at you. “I’m looking at a fucking lunatic!” 

“If I wasn’t raised right, you’d be looking at me through a black eye!” you told him. 

“Take your best shot!” he dared. 

Stepping forward, you balled the front of his shirt up in your hand and raised your other hand into a fist. His expression changed, eyes going wide and jaw going slack. He clearly wasn’t expecting you to make good on your threat. If you were being honest, you hadn’t either. You’re body seemed to be making its own decisions, and just as quickly as it had decided to punch him, it change its mind. Instead of your knuckles slamming into the side of his face, your lips slammed into his. 

Two Years Later

Jim pushed his broccoli around his plate, only half listening to the lecture he was getting about inappropriate behavior. He looked up ready to defend himself but his jaw clamped shut when he saw you through the window behind his mother. His eyes widened as you pointed up to his window. He gave you a miniscule nod that he hopped only you noticed, before turning his attention back to his mom.

“You’re right.” 

Wynonna stopped talking, taken aback. Not once had her son agreed with her about his punishable actions. 

“I’m going to go to my room and think really hard about what I did and how I can better myself as an individual.” He slowly got up from his chair and backed out of the room. “And do my homework. My teachers thinking I’m nothing but a delinquent is no reason to let my grades slip. Dinner was delicious. Love you.” 

As soon as he was in the hall, he broke into a sprint, racing up the stairs and to his bedroom window. He pushed it open and dropped his hands to the windowsill, preventing you from entering. 

“You can’t keep running away here,” he kept his voice low to prevent letting his mother in on your secret rendezvous. 

“Where is this negative attitude coming from, Jimathy?” You easily pushed one of his arms aside and crawled through the threshold. 

“Your dad hates me,” he said, turning so he was still facing you as you moved into the room. 

“He does not hate you. He says you're gifted.” You shrugged your backpack off onto the bed. 

It was true. Less than an hour ago you had been forced to listen to yet another rant from your father about how much potential Jim had and how he was wasting it on his ridiculous stunts. He could never seem to decide if he was happy that Jim and all his glorious wasted potential were in your life or not. 

“Really? Because to my face he calls me a bad influence, who’s the root of all your problems.” 

“I don’t have problems,” you grumbled, “He’s the one with problems.” 

“Jim!” Wynonna called from down the stairs. “Why is (Y/N)’s dad calling me?”

“Speak of the dad-vil,” you whispered. 

“That was terrible. Stay here,” he ordered as he went out into the hall. “Maybe he wants to reminisce about the good old days?” Jim offered loudly. “Isn’t that what people your age do?”

“Is she here?” 

“Do you really think I could hide a whole, grown person in my room without you knowing about it?” he asked in turn. 

“Is she in trouble?” 

“Not one bit.” 

“Are you lying to me?” 

“Obviously!” 

“Okay.” You heard her answer the phone and walk out of hearing range. 

Neither you nor Jim dared to move. There was one hundred and one ways this phone call could end and neither of you wanted to risk making it worse. 

You glanced around his bedroom. The shelves were lined with old books and models of starship. Retro Starfleet recruitment posters hung from the walls between his Beastie Boys posters and glow-in-the-dark stars. Through his open closet door you could see his dad’s old uniform still hanging, though shoved back against the wall. It was all the remnants of dreams long forgotten. It reminded you of when you were little and he used to regal the playground with stories of when his parents had been in the fleet. They were all so inspiring. The gleam in his eyes when he would announce that one day he would be the captain of a starship made you hate him a little less, even back then. He used to want to be someone. He was driven towards his goals. He had always been a little menese and a troublemaker, but he was headed somewhere. Where had that boy gone? 

Two minutes later Wynonna was back at the bottom of the stairs. “Remember in middle school when you two hated each other and spent every waking minute trying to destroy each other?” 

“Uh… yeah?” Jim answered. 

“I miss those days. That man hates this family.” She sighed. “Tell her to go home.” 

“But Mom, she’s upset!” 

“The only fugitive I harbour in this house is you, young man.” 

“Mooooom,” he whined. 

“Don’t make me come up there and use my captain voice,” she threatened. 

“Fine! I’ll send her home.” 

“Good. I’ll see you in two weeks when you aren’t grounded!” she called up to you. 

“TWO WEEKS?” you both yelled in unison. 

“You know the deal. When the fire department has to get involved it’s two weeks.”

“Fine!” he shouted again and Wynonna walked away satisfied. 

The chief engineer of one of the posters smiled down at you.

Reach for the stars!

Something clicked in your head. Jim came back into his room to find you digging an old gym bag out from his closet. 

“What are you doing?”

You smiled wickedly and tossed the bag at him. “I’m breaking you out.”

Something seemed to click in his head too and he shook his head. “I’m stuck on a road going downhill fast. I’m not dragging you will me. Not anymore. Go back home. Apologize to your dad. Live your life. Be somebody great.” 

“It’s too late. You’ve turned me into a hoodlum. You didn’t even have to drag me. I came willingly. I don’t care what you do, I will always come with. And I’m not becoming someone great without you.” You opened a drawer to encourage him to pack. “Let’s go to San Francisco.” 

“California? You dream big, kid.” He pecked you on the lips on his way to his dresser. “How far do you think we’ll get?” 

“Oh, we won’t even make it to Wyoming.” You dropped down next to your bag on his mattress, watching him pack. Maybe if you could show him what he used to dream about he would start to dream again. Maybe he would be the boy he used to and he would take you with him. 

“At least we have realistic expectations to go with our big dreams.”

Five Years Later 

The warm air that filled the bar hit you like a wall when you opened the doors. Loud conversations and clinking glass surrounded you as you walked through the tables, headed straight for the bar. Leaning across the wood surface, you caught the bartender's attention. 

“You seen Jim?” you yelled over the noise. 

Before he got the chance to answer, there was a shout followed by the sound of someone being thrown into a table. 

Taking in a deep breath, you forced a smile,“Nevermind.” 

You pushed yourself away from the bar and headed to the fight that had broken out. You grabbed the back of the collar of a man whose fists were flying wildly and yanked him back. Thankful that he was drunk enough that it was fairly easy. 

“Take a walk, bud.” You patted his chest and spun him towards the door. 

“Beautiful,” Jim grinned from the floor, “What are you doing here?” 

“Aren’t I always here when you’re doing something stupid?” You held your hand out and heaved him to his feet. 

“Just for the record,” he started, straightening out his jacket and letting you push him onto a stool without argument, “he started it. So really he’s the stupid one.” 

“He started it?” you echoed. “Are you eight?” 

“And a half.”

Rolling your eyes, you picked up the dish towel filled with ice cubes the bartender set in front of you and smiled your thanks. As much as you hated to admit it, one of the two of you getting in a fight here had become a somewhat regular occurrence over the years, and the bartender was always ready and never phased. 

“Why do always have to go looking for trouble?” You held the ice up to his already swollen eye. 

“I get bored when you aren’t here to create it.” 

Your hand dropped a centimeter away from his face. “I don’t create trouble.” 

Jim raised his eyebrows, questioning your resolve on the matter.

Creating trouble was one of your biggest skills, but you weren’t going to admit that. Not now. Not when you held the moral high ground. Not that it mattered. You had admitted to it a thousand times to him. Even if you hadn’t it wasn’t something you could hide. Not that you could hide anything from Jim. 

“We aren’t talking about me. We’re talking about your dumb ass and how you refuse to get your head out of it.” You pushed the ice back against his skin a little too forcefully. “You’re better than this. You were meant for more than being a bar rat.” 

“What are you doing here, (Y/N)?” 

“I needed some air,” you said bruskly.

“They don’t have air in San Francisco?” 

“No.” You focused on keeping the ice against the slowly developing bruise so you wouldn’t have to look him directly in the eye.  

“What happened?” His bright blue eyes looked right through you. They knew every little tick, habit, and quirk you had. They could read you like a book, tell exactly what was bothering you, figure out what kind of day you had within moments. Even if they were a little drunk.  

“I told you we're not talking about me.” 

“Usually when you’re yelling at me, it’s about you. So tell me what’s going on.” He reached out for your free hand, lacing his fingers through yours. “What did you do that you think is so bad?” 

“I’ve,” your eyes drifted to the floor, your voice dropped in volume to the point where you weren’t sure if he could hear you, “been demoted.” 

You didn’t look back up until you felt his hand wrap around your wrist and pull it away from his face. Slipping the makeshift ice pack from your grasp and setting it back on the bar, he pulled you from your stool and through the maze tables and chairs to the door.  

“Where are we going?” 

“You said you needed some air.” He pushed the door open and tugged your hand up so you were walking next to him. 

The small town was all but deserted. It felt like you were the only two people in the universe. You walk down the empty sidewalk in silence. He doesn’t push you to say anything more about what happened, but eventually it all comes out in one big rush. 

“It wasn’t anything major. Not really. No lives were lost. A few eyebrows were. Honestly the whole thing was blown way out of proportion. And it wasn’t even really a demotion. Not really. They just took away some of my responsibilities and respect. I’m sure they’ll get over it in a few weeks and I’ll have my job back, but,” you stopped to catch your breath, “I couldn’t be there. Not right now.” 

“So that’s why you're here.” He guided you to a small park. “You’re hiding.” 

“I’m not hiding from anyone,” you said indignantly, before smiling up at him. “I’m here to see you.” 

“Right. Because you’ve never used that one before.” 

“Fine, maybe I am hiding from my highly critical superiors.” You threw up your free hand. “Maybe I’m hiding from the whole damn thing. Are you going to stop me? Is this where you draw the line? I’ve run away to you one too many times?” 

“No.” 

“I just can’t breath there. All day it's ‘yes, sir’ and ‘no, sir’ and ‘right away, sir. Everybody is sir. The friggin’ worms in the lawn are sir. And they’re constantly telling what to do.” 

“The worms?” 

“Might as well be!” 

“Do you listen?” 

“I’m my own person. Who are they to tell me what to do?” 

“Your bosses?” he offered. 

“So what? Just because they have a few extra stripes on their sleeves they get to dictate my life? I don’t think so. I’ll do what I want when I want.” You glared straight ahead, trying to ignore the voice in your head that was telling you that you were being stupid.

“And look where that got you. Couple of blown off eyebrows and a red mark on your record.” 

“Like you’ve never caused an explosion,” you grumbled.

“I’m not the one who just got demoted.” 

“No, you’re just the one throwing his life away at Murphy’s.” 

He let go of your hand and came to a stand still on the sidewalk. “Hey. I thought shit on Jim time was over.” 

“I’m not shitting on you. I’m just,” you sighed. 

You had moved out to San Francisco and joined Starfleet because of him. He hadn’t asked, but it had been being around him and his mother that made you do it. You had always secretly believed that he would come with you. You tried not to bitter about the fact that he didn’t. Key word: tried.

“I’m sorry.” You turned to face him. “You are the smartest person I have ever met.” You placed a hand on his chest. “You have the biggest heart I’ve ever seen. You were made to do more than this. You could be so much more.” 

“What if I don’t want to be more?” he asked. “What if I’m happy where I am?” 

You smiled sadly. “You can lie to yourself, Jim, but I know when you’re happy.” You forced your smile into your usual wicked smirk. “I think you’re just afraid of the competition.”

[just-some-random-blogger]

One Million In One Day | 8

GOT7 SugarDaddy!Jackson Wang x Reader + Park Jinyoung x Reader | Part 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 ? Characters: GOT7 Summary: His mother’s final wish is to see him be happy in a relationship, knowing that Jackson would be fine when she left him. But, damn, he didn’t have time for relationships, especially not since he was busy running his father’s billion dollar empire, thus the compromise: you. Word Count: 4k+ Warnings: Stalking, fighting, cursing, mentioning of illness, TYPOS, etc.

Preview | Alternate Moodboard | Chapter 8 Teaser

A/N: i made a moodboard for this chapter because i needed the will to keep going cough cough but made it into a teaser cuz i write slow

Yall this is also the longest chapter ive written for anything lololl

"Hey Jackson," I mutter and turn from the ice cream cone in my hand to his clear smooth face, "not to sound greedy-- purely out of curiosity and to prepare myself..."

Jackson looks at me, brown eyes widening in expectation.

"Am... I gonna get paid again?" I said speaking lowly at one particular word.

He gives me a blank expression, and I follow it up quickly, raising a hand, "Can I just... not?"

He lets out a sigh and shakes his head, "Baby," he cuts himself of by licking the dripping the melted ice cream on the side of his cone that was trickling its way down to his fingers. I found myself gulping. He takes a bite and turns back to me, "a deal's a deal. I don't want to come off as a cheat."

"No but you won't cause it's-it's my request!"

He thinks as he eats his dessert. I purse my lips, "I honestly don't know what to do with it anymore. I paid my loads, have a whole new wardrobe and a whole fridge of food. I even payed my rent for the rest of the year and that still wasn't enough to get rid of it all. I had to get my friend help me burn the money and keep my sanity in check. I bought him a laptop and everything."

"Oh," Jackson pulls his head back and knits his brows, "you told Jinyoung?"

"What?" Part of me panics when I hear him say that name. 

Once the question registers in my head I shake my hands, "No, no, no. I told Mark, my other friend. And well, my roommate Nari, because there is no way she wouldn't find out about it anyway." I turn to Jackson and finish the rest of my ice cream. "You remember her, Nari? She was with me, uhm, when I was fitting that green dress."

Jackson's poker face shifts into a smile, "Ahhhh, yeah."

For a moment, we finish off eating and throw away our trash without words.

 "Who else did you tell?"

I turn to Jackson who starts walking off again. I follow after him and purse my lips in realization of what he could possibly be insinuating, "Oh, uhm, just them. And I may tell Jinyoung after this. Am... am I not supposed to? I mean I didn't really-- they don't... I trust them..."

Jackson shakes his head and breaks into a nervous laugh, "No. No. It's just... no offence, I don't doubt the fact that they can't use this against me. It's just," he chuckles, "usually the fake dating goes both ways. I dunno, it's a first that I don't have to worry about seeing your family too."

I can't help but break out in a laugh, "yikes. Sounds like a nightmare."

"Gosh, you have no clue."

 We trail off for a while. I break the silence this time, "So... do we have a deal?"

Jackson turns to me and lets out a breath, "Oh no, absolutely not."

I do a double take and pull my had back, "What?"

"Hearing myself say that aloud makes me realize how unfair this arrangement is to you. And it's making me feel uneasy, like I want to punch myself." He knits his brows and stuffs his hands in his pockets, "you have go around meeting all these people in environments you're not used to, in clothes that aren't yours," he lifts his thumb and point behind him with it, "having strange men follow you around." He releases a breath and turns to me, "and all you get out of that is paper."

I can't help but frown at his conclusion. It was plain to see how opposite our worlds were, with the mere way we value money. It made me feel lucky, honestly, that even though I wasn't rich, I had friends and family, their love around me, something this lonely billionaire evidently lacked.

"Listen, sweetheart. I don't mean to make you feel bad because of this, but, you have a lot of money, I don't. I don't have the need to focus on a massive business and to hear people around me nag about my love life, you do. The other gives what is needed and takes what the other has in excess. I don't know about you, but that seems like an awfully beneficial deal to me."

Jackson snickers after I spoke, "smart."

I smile upon hearing that.

"One of the things I like about you."

Wh- one of the things he--

"Alright Ms. Business Major. I see you learning in your classes."

I release a laugh at that and so does he. "But if anything, sweetheart," he stresses and leans down. I feel my neck and ears burn, "what? You can call me baby, but I can't call you sweetheart?"

He laughs, "No, no, it's cute. Please do." He turns his gaze forward, "this just further proves that I need to take care of you in the only way I can."

I groan and screw my eyes shut, "Jacksoooon." And here I was thinking that I actually got through to him.

"Ya. Why are you so rude? Are we same age?" He playfully glares and barks, "Oppa. Oppa."

I groan again and glare at him, "Oppa!"

He smiles and nods, "That's better."

I whine and stomp my feet, "Ahh! But I don't need it! I still have job!"

"What?" Jackson snaps, "you haven't quit your job?"

"Uh, no duh? How else am I gonna get pocket money?" I say, knowing he'd understand the fact that not everyone accepts a black card. Also, it was empty.

"The how'd you pay for your taxi?"

"I borrowed money from Mark."

Jackson's eyes blew in shock. He mumbles lowly and raises his hands, "my sugar baby needs a part-time job and borrows money."

 "Okay, listen," he starts, tapping his chest with his finger tips, "just let me do my thing." He, out of the blue, takes my hand and we continue walking. "I have to go back to work after this, but later I'll come pick you up because you need to meet my mom."

I nod slowly up heaing this, "Oh."

"And clearly now, you've made me realize this is two dates-"

"Jackson-"

"-shut up or I'll kiss you."

My jaw is left hanging. 

Jackson turns to me and holds back a laugh, lips curling into a smirk. 

"As I was saying, you have also pointed out that I really haven't being fair to you. Up, up, up-" he raises a hand and cuts me of before I could even begin. He lets go of my hand and links my arm with his. "Right. So, I've been used to having arrangements with women with excessive tastes that can blow off a million in one day. And more, who am I kidding. Which is why," he turns to me. 

I turn to him and he smiles, "I'm letting you cash out."

"Cash... hold on, wha-- cash out?"

Jackson seems confused and knits his brows for a second, and then bursts into laughter when he realizes, "Oh, no. Not like end this. No way! I still need you." He tugs on my arm and pulls it to his chest, embracing it as if he meant it personally. 

He giggles, "I mean like, I'll let you withdraw money."

I gasp and turn to him, "Oh my gosh, really?!"

"Yeah," he nods, "I mean you can only withdraw anything from that one bank, but yeah. You deserve that at least."

"Oh my gosh thank you!" I grin and pull away from him, only to be able to hug him tightly. I hold him for a few seconds and smile brightly when I let him go, "I could send my parents money. I could-- I could-- WOW!"

Jackson breaks into laughter.

"Okay, now, come on, I'll drive you home."

 With that, Jackson and I retrace our steps and find our way back to the car. The men following us seem to have gone away, to which I am relieved. We walk hand in hand, and he's doing all the talking. I watch as he laughs and wonder how he could talk about such stories, like getting his foot stuck in the toilet one time when he was younger, and still look so poised and handsome.

Jackson is playful all the way to my apartment. It made me happy, as I remember the last time I drove with him, back when we went to a party, he was pretty glum.

"You shouldn't let them get to you too much, Jackson." I speak up after our conversation about whatever popped up into our heads.

Jackson knits his brows and spares me a glance, "What do you mean?"

"Remember last time, after going to the party? You were pretty quiet, and it was kinda concerning."

He doesn't reply for a moment. When he does, he speaks half-playfully, "you're concerned about me?"

"No duh, Wang-Wang. You've been nothing but kind to me, and I'm the type to take care and check up on my friends."

He nods his head, "Well... thank you for... the concern, but that wasn't why I was quiet on pur drive back. I couldn't give two shits about whatever those rich bozos think. I just want them out of my business, babe."

I knit my brows, "Huh. Then why were you?"

Jackson chuckles and pulls on the collar of his top. "It's kinda complicated.” He turns to me, then back to the road to chuckle, “To a point where I'm not even really sure yet about it. But, uh, for what it's worth, if I figure it out, I'll tell you."

I hum, "well, are you sure you can figure it out by yourself? Sometimes all it tales is to say it aloud, y'know."

Jackson turns to me and offers a smile, "I know. But I don't want this to become real, and I'm pretty sure if I say it aloud, it will."

"Oh... well, I get that."

 Soon after, we arrived at my place. I turned to give Jackson a smile goodbye, but I was shocked when he moved in to give my cheek a kiss. He pressed his lips against skin, and I immediately felt the area burn, as if he was scorching hot. I’m glad I didn’t move yet, cause if I had moved any sooner, Jackson and I would've had to a disastrous lip lock--or teeth lock at that..

"Thank you for today," he says simply, close to my ear. I could smell his cologne.

My cheeks burn. Once he pulls away, I turn and gape at him for a second, "shouldn't I be the one saying that?"

He purses his lips and chuckles, "Not at all." 

For a moment, I just sit there, not knowing where to look and where to place my hands. Jackson smiles, and proceeds to cackle. It’s pretty obvious that he is pleased with how obviously I'm affected.

I feel my face redden, but I can't help myself and growl. I shove him and glare, "Next time, a little warning will suffice."

The man across me seems baffled by my action and tenses up only to burst out laughing all giddy "Mianheeee."

He shuffles in his seat, “Before you go,” and pulls out his wallet, “here... pocket money.”

He pulls out all the cash in his wallet and my eyes widen. I raise my brows, “That won’t be necessary, oppa.”

He shoots me a look and grabs my hand, “Oppa thinks otherwise.”

“But you’ll be paying me later!” I protest, trying my best to to actually grab hold of the money. “You’re even going to let me cash out, so this is all unnecessary.”

Jackson huffed, “Consider this as a bonus.”

“I don’t want a bonus!”

“Well, you either take it... or... or else I won’t talk to you again.”

For a moment, I look at him with a dumbfounded expression. I ask, “You do know that is worse for you than it is for me right!”

“Ugh! Just take it! I don’t have any leverage! I never thought I’d ever have to force someone to get my money.” Jackson whines and shakes his body in annoyance. “Just take it!” he groans, “It’s not like it’s a bribe. Just use it to pay Mark.”

“That is way too--”

“TAKE IT!” he screams, successfully planting the money in my hand, as his shout took me off guard. I awkwardly look around and Jackson shakes his head expectantly. I purse my lips and fold the paper, shoving it to my pockets.

Jackson smiles in content and pats my head. I scoff. I proceed then to remove my seat belt.

He watches as I do so and then asks, "You want me to walk you?"

I shake my head, "Oh, no need. I can manage."

“You sure?”

I turn to him and nod,  “I’m sure, Jackson.”

“Jackson oppa.”

I roll my eyes, “I never should’ve voluntarily called you that.”

He chuckles. 

I exit the car and wave him off dismissively the moment I'm out. He waves goodbye and drives away.

 By the time he's gone, Nari is running towards me like the fumbling mess she is. "Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, was that him?! I can't believe I missed him! GASH!"

I scowl at Nari and nudge her, "stop being such a loud mouth."

She huffs and turns to me, hands on her waist, "You have no clue how jelly I am."

I roll my eyes and walk inside. She follows quickly, "What are you gonna do about Jinyoung?"

I whip my head to her, "What about Jinyoung, Nari?"

"I mean, you have Jackson now! Jinyoung deserves to know."

"You say this, as if I like Jackson."

Nari looks mortified, "Bitch don't tell me you're gonna be like one of those dumb protagonists that's in denial and then has their world comes crashing down around them."

I scoff, "No, Nari, because I don't like Jackson-"

"bITCH-"

"-I like Jinyoung."

 "... ...ohmygosh, did you actually say that aloud?"

I dismiss her, but her squealing and iron grip prevent me from getting away. "EEEEEK I KNEWITIKNEWITIKNEWITIKNEWITTTTTTTTT!"

"Shut up! You're gonna wake the dead," I hiss and cover her mouth, "Or even worse, Mrs. Kim. "

Literally, the moment I said that, there was a yapping old woman resounding curse words against the wall. Nari and I scrambled to hide from her wrath.

"YOU FUCKING KIDS, I TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP WHEN JEOPARDY IS ON!"

 Alright. Yes. We managed to survive the terror in apartment 16, which was why I managed to brush up on my studies and the drama I had in the sidelines waiting for me.

I leaned back in my cozy attire, with shorts and hoodie, stuffing popcorn in my face as Lee Minho beat Kim Woobin up, and vice versa.

I don't mean to sound like a brag, but damn, there really is a difference with the cheap cotton shorts and these freakin 10,000 dollar ones. Would I ever recommend these to a friend? Helllll no, but damn they're realllly soft.

"Moron your phone is blowing up in your room," Nari screams from her own room. I scramble to my feet, shit is that Jackson?

 I push my popcorn off and run to my room. I see there's ten messages from Mark. I knit my brows.

STFU MARK: ok so i went to jinyoungs place

STFU MARK: i mean like at his job and the place is super packed and he looks super miserable i feel so bad i wanna help him woth the register

STFU MARK: Where are you even???? I swung by your place

STFU MARK: LOL RIGHT UR SUGAR BOYFI IS UR WITH HAHAHAH

STFU MARK: man this lady ordered ten burgers and i wish i could do that on the regular

STFU MARK: ok imma talk to jinyoung and order lunch too i hope he doesnt kill me cos if he does he'll lose his job too and i dont want that

STFU MARK: OKAY HE TOOK MY ORDER AND PRETENDED I WAS NO ONE BUT A CUSTOMER I DIE WHAT DID WE DO

STFU MARK: HE EVEN SMILED AT ME LIKE AN ACTUAL GENUINE PERSON HE LOOKS SO TIRED I FEEL SP BAD HELP MEEEEE GET OUT OF YOUR DATE RIGHT NOW

STFU MARK: ...... r u hetting paid again omg???? Also jinyoung wouldnt poison my food right

STFU MARK: I WANTED TO TALK TO JINYOUNG COS IT LOOKED LIKE HE WAS GONNA CLOCK OUT BUT YUGYEOM TOLD ME TO SCRAM WHAT IS THIS HE SAID JINYOUNG IS SUPER TIRED AND NOT IN THE MOOD

 I wipe my forehead and cuss.

I give a quick reply to Mark, saying that I'll try to contact him. I then proceed to call Jinyoung. I call him five times before giving up and sending a text.

I open my conversation with Jinyoung and send three messages.

Me: Jinyoung

Me: i know like im legitimately dumb for not knowing what angered you, but mark and i arent mind readers

Me: please call me back and tell me whats wrong

 I sigh and pull my phone to my chest. I walk back out to continue watching my show. My heart leaps out of my chest and I squeak when my phone starts vibrating. I smile widely when I realize it's Jinyoung calling. Except it's not. It's Jackson. He's gonna pick me up.

  ---

My feet is clad with a golden pump. My dress is cascading with hundreds of delicate white beads upon bright violet fabric. I feel like a dewy star with the glowy makeup all over my skin. My hair is pulled back to make room for a crown-like headband and curled perfectly behind me.

While Hani did my makeup, part of me wondered why I looked so dressed up, when, as far as I knew, I would only be meeting with Jackson's mom. But then I realized it was Jackson's mom; she was probably born drenched in gold. This probably looks pathetic to her.

Hani was so kind and so enthusiastic as per usual, and she made me look like a princess with her magical touch. 

 We didn't take as long as I hoped we would, for now I am holding onto Jackson's hand as we walk down this large lawn, lit with garden lights and lights from fountains. The sun had just set, and so the residual sunshine in the sky made it look both orange and lilac. On my other hand, I  held a bouquet of violet flowers that strangely reminded me of the day I met Jackson.

As we drove here, I thought at first we were going to Jackson's house, or his parents, but as it turns, her mother is checked into some extra hotel.

Automatic doors opened, and a beefy but kind looking security guard greeted us, and Jackson by his name.

The place reeked the finesse of a museum. It was so large and spacious that I started thinking maybe it was a hidden museum of some sort. The minimal pieces of art make me think otherwise.

There were very few people going about, and most of them were wearing white.

I fell conscious after. Was this hotel themed in white? I moved closer to Jackson. The echoing of my heels against the marble floors only magnified my fumbling mind. Okay... maybe this wasn’t a hotel.

We walked and walked down this seemingly never ending hall, up until we reached room 19.

 Jackson released my hand and turned to me. Clearing his throat, he asked, "How do I look?"

He looked like a billionaire. His body was given complete justice in his velvet suit that matched the color of my violet dress. His shoes were shiner than my future. His skin was more flawless than my grades. Jackson looked like he always did, handsome and charming. But his big brown eye seemed nervous.

"You look amazing, like always," I offer with a smile.

Jackson lets put a soft sigh, "I'm glad you think I always look amazing."

I nod at him, not because I agreed but because he seemed like he had something much more to say. Though he was trying to play off this worry by joking, it was too clear he was worried.

He inhales sharply. "You may hate me for not telling you sooner, but..." Jackson points to the door of room 19 and screws his eyes shut.

I bit my lower lip and think about what Jackson could tell me next. He was agitated. This place makes him agitated. Well, everyone here is wearing white. Everything is quiet and spacious. His mom was staying here. I don’t think it’s a hotel anymore. Was this a spa? A wellness center?

... or was this a clinic? A hospital?

Why didn’t I just ask?

"The main reason why... I hired you is because of my mom." Jackson turns to his side then back to me, "She's... not doing so great. Not in a long time."

My jaw slacks once I realize my guess was right, "Your mom is sick?"

He sighs, "terminally ill if you need the right term."

"And... you want her to think... we're together?"

Jackson purses his lips, "It's all she wants from me now.”

 A shiver runs down my spine. I clench my bouquet. Part of me can't help but feel betrayed. He had all these chances from then til now to speak up but he was nothing but silent. All Jackson told me I was here to push away his nosy relatives. I huff in frustration. Really though I was here to lie to a dying lady.

I scoff at my own thoughts.

That very thought made my heart clench.

How hard must it be for Jackson to talk about this?

I want to wipe my face so badly, but I didn't want to ruin Hani's hard work.

"How could you only tell me this now?!" I heave sharply. "Do you know how wrong and messed up this is?"

"I know, I know," Jackson sighs. He takes a step forward and grabs both my hands, pushing the bouquet in the middle, "but please, you're my only hope. You're the only woman I've ever brought to my mom." He closes his eyes and raises his hands, shaking it around, "It's not as bad as it is. I made her think that I'm still pursuing you and so you're not really my girlfriend."

I knit my brows at that. Jackson steps even closer, "then I'll say it didn't work out because you like Jinyoung from..." he thinks and scoffs, "your Algebra--business math class."

His mention of  Jinyoung makes me chest contract. I look at our hands then Jackson's expression. The flowers seemed a lot less pretty to me now. I wonder what they think about my predicament.

 "Please, you are honestly innocent in all this. No matter what happens it's on me. Please. My mother doesn't get to meet new people. You won't even have to say anything, I'll do all the talking."

I want to throw the flowers at him and run away. But I don't.

I want to tell him all the reasons why this so called solution of his isn't a solution. But I don't.

I want to offer his comfort and give him another way. But I can't, cause it would take too much time and the clock, I can feel it ticking.

So what I do say is, "alright."

Jackson's face brightens. He repeats, "Alright," and with that wastes not time in going inside.

 "Finally!" a voice exclaims into the high ceiling. There is a large bed with a woman in the center. “I thought you’d never come.”

Jackson, hand holding mine, walked towards the woman and smiled, “Mama. I’m sorry we’re late.”

Once we’re close enough, Jackson lets go of me to hug and kiss the woman on the cheek. I was close enough to see how pale and dry her skin was. She was thin and had her thin hair combed behind her. It was plain to see that she really was sick. But the way she smiled and greeted her son, made you think otherwise.

Jackson pulls away and turns to me. Her mother does the same. I take this moment to give her the flowers, “Mrs. Wang.”

“Oh, are these for me? Thank you so much, darling.” She smiles ear to ear and gets the bouquet from me. “You may be wondering why you were forced into violet. Well, it’s my favorite color.”

I nod, “Jackson told me that.” At the very least.

“Have you eaten, mama?” Jackson asks as he sits next to his mother.

“You silly boy. You know I don’t have an appetite at night.”

Jackson narrows his eyes and shakes his head, “Mama... the nurses told me you had an apple for lunch.

“Kure, an apple a day keeps the doctor away,” she speaks in a light tone. Jackson breathes in heavily, clenching his jaw. He looks like he wants to go off, but at the same time, he looks really tired, like he doesn’t want to have this conversation again. And so I frown deeply.

“Mrs. Wang, you should really eat more than that... Jackson is really worried about you.” I speak for the upset man.

His mother turns to me and beams, “Ya, has Jackson been talking about me. That’s a first. Honestly, I still can’t believe your here! My Jackson always claims to have a girlfriend, but this time around... he really does.”

“Mama... she’s not my girlfriend, I told you.”

“Aiya!” she says, “you should try harder, then!” The woman gives her son a scolding look, then turns to me in a completely different manner, “Mianhe... ... My brother told me he had his men follow you to see how real you are just earlier today. I’m really sorry about that.”

“Mama,” Jackson says slowly.

She tuts her son. With a breath, she looks at me, “Oh, why are you still standing, please sit on my bed. It’s quite big enough for all three of us.”

With this I smile, nod, and sit down. She then slides to the far left side of the bed, where Jackson sat facing me. Mrs. Wang pulls me by my arm, and so I hop over to come closer to her.

Her hand is still on my arm when she pouts into a pleased smile, “You are far more beautiful than Jackson let on.”

My brows raise and my lips pull into an awkward smile. I nervously laugh and shake my head. She shakes her head too, “He won’t shut up about you!”

“Mama,” Jackson says, placing his hand on his mothers, releasing her grip from me, “That’s because you keep asking me about her.”

“Well how can I not, child! The most exciting thing that happens around here is when a new patient comes along and that’s horrible to think of considering this place is a hospital.”

Jackson once again feels and looks so defeated.

“Mrs. Wang,” I say to divert her attention.

“Oh, please, call me Mama. All of Jackson’s friends do that.”

I clear my throat and turn to Jackson for a split second. Nevertheless, I obey, “Mama... do you happen to watch k-dramas?”

Both Wangs seem to be surprised by my sudden question.

“Why of course! What else am I to do but watch all those dramas?” she chuckles.

“Did you happen to watch The Heirs?”

She gasps, “Of course I did! Lee Minho and--”

“Kim Woobin!” I squeal. “Ooooh, he is so good looking and I wanted him to get the girl so bad!!!!!”

Jackson pulls his head back at my words. Da hell is Kim Woobin? His mother laughs in glee. Once she catches he breath, she begins to fuel our talk. From then on, we begin our long conversation about wanting ‘the other’ love interest get the girl in the story. It escalates and the next thing Jackson knows he’s no longer part of the conversation, nor existent in the room.

He watches as the two women interact and laugh, making his heart clench. Mama had neither been this talkative nor cheery since Bambam visited and got drunk on champagne, and that was months ago.

I throw my head back in laughter. Jackson can’t help but laugh as well, even though he honestly didn’t follow the conversation anymore.

Mrs. Wang turns to his son and smiles, seeing how concentrated he was in the one thing in the room. She nudges him, and Jackson panics, turning to his mother with wide eyes.

Catching this, I settle down and turn to Jackson’s nervous expression. His mother breaks into a soft laugh. I knit my brows, “What happened?”

Jackson turns to me then to his mom. The latter speaks up, “Oh. Jackson’s just really lucky to have you that’s all.”

Part of me expected Jackson to whine in protest again. But when there’s only silence among us, I feel awkwardness envelope me.

Mrs. Wang coos and caresses her son’s cheeks, “Your handsomeness won’t be put to waste.” She then turns to me and pinches my cheeks, “You’ll have beautiful children.” 

My cheeks immediately burn upon hearing this.

Jackson breath hitches when he sees my reaction. I turn to him and gives me an awkward smile.

Jackson scratches he back of his nape when it dawns to him that he is utterly fucked. Why? Because he likes the idea his mom presented. The man mutters a curse word under his breath and stands, “How about we get some food, yeah?”

[stardust-revengers]

[Only you]

Bucky Barnes x reader.

I’m sorry I’m not good at titles skjsjsj

Request: Heelloo! Would you mind doing a Bucky x Reader where the team pranks Bucky into thinking the reader broke up with him?

Word count: 1.9k

Warning: lil angsty?? But fluff ends so dw, uhh also very very bad writing so I warned u

A/n: wowowo M’s posted three one shots in three days are we dead???, no I’m just in winter break so ya know what that means, anyways. I originally was gonna do a friends AU! (Cuz recently I’ve been rewatching it coughcough) and I was gonna do the whole “they broke up but then one ends up surprise proposal” but then I remembered how much I hate proposals so yeah, uhhh I literally changed it last minute and wrote it super quick so I’m sorry if it sucks!! Also! If ya wanna request shit send shit my way because I have nothing better to do 🤠👊🏼

___________

“What do you mean no?”

The winter soldier stared at the billionaire, tony stark before him with the at most confused look on his face, while the question he just asked still in the air.

“What I meant to say was,,,,no...you can’t take y/n out tonight because she….uh….because she has a mission with uh,, STEVE..yeah”. Tony’s attempt at trying to cover up the real reason he accidentally said out loud, yelled, the word no to something that didn’t even concern him.

“First of all stark you can’t tell me where I can and can not take my girlfriend, second, I didn’t even ask you for permission I was just letting you know we won’t be around tonight and third, why no?” Bucky just continued to get more furious as the conversation went on. Why on earth would stark not want them to go out? Him and the rest of the team were the ones who got Bucky and y/n together six months ago in the first place? And tony doesn’t even like Bucky that much to begin with so why now does it matter?

“Point taken, but like I said she’s busy” tony tried to cover up the real deal that was going on.

Bucky was to say the least confused “why can’t y/n cancel or something, she never mentioned it sooner, and I’m sure Steve will understand we haven’t gone out together in a while and I just want some alone time with her, where is she anyway?”

“You haven’t seen her all day?”

“Uh no actually”

“Huh weird” tony scoffed for effect trying to shift the subject away from y/n

“So how was your day”

Bucky slowly turned toward tony to face him his eyebrow cocked up and his lip twisted into a frown.

“What’s going on?” He asked

“Nothing, why? Why- would you think something is up?”

Bucky eyed tony as his eyes turned to slits

“Because you never ask me how my day is..”

Normally tony wouldn’t give two damns about the soldier, and frankly he didn’t like to admit it but he liked seeing bucky so happy together with y/n.

“I was just asking-“

“Why did you change the subject? Why are you hiding something? I’m a spy stark I know when someone is lying?” Bucky protested against him.

With having nothing to come up with and tony not wanting to spoil y/n’s whole “it’s our anniversary so I want to surprise him, keep him away for the evening” thingy, tony yelled out the first thought that came to mind that would hopefully keep the winter soldier to shut up for a couple more hours and more importantly away from the surprise.

“FINE ya wanna know why you can’t go out or find y/n, because she wants to break up with you! Hey I said it! She was too scared to say anything so she told me to tell you but I didn’t wanna because you are my friend” Tony’s lies build up one on top of the other. For a smart guy he could be pretty dumb, and Bucky wasn’t buying it.

“Bullshit stark, it’s our anniversary and she knows it she’s probably hiding or som-“ Bucky tried to reason with him even though deep down a part of him believed it could be true what tony said.

“I’m not bluffing, ask anyone, look I’m sorry man.” tony tried to fire back with a sarcastic comment but for once he couldn’t think of one, as he looked at Bucky straight in the eyes moving closer to him he saw the sadness overcome the man, he reached out to put an arm on his shoulder only to have Bucky smack it away quicker than lighting.

“I just need to see y/n”

“I- i- don’t think that’s a very good idea” tony knew he overstepped the boundaries and made this shitshow even worse but what came next for some reason was something he couldn’t have expected.

“BECAUSE SHE LEFT ALREADY” tony than covered his mouth with a hand mumbling some things of what seemed to be curse words under his breath.

Bucky looked down at the ground and back at stark for a moment his face was filled with guilt. What did he do? This is his fault. He wasn’t enough for her and now she dropped everything and left him. He should’ve known.

Tony saw the scene happening right in front of him and he knew what Bucky was thinking, he knew he should have kept his mouth shut, of all the things he could’ve said it had to be, “ oh hey by the way your girlfriend left and dumped you hahahah sorry!”

Knowing that the first thing Bucky would wanna do was collapse on his shared room, well ex shared room with

y/n, tony immediately ran in the other direction and contacted Natasha who was with y/n in her room gett no the surprise for bunch ready.

Bucky was blanking, staring at the ground, his mind was rushing with a million thoughts a second, all the reason he thought of why she left and what he could have done to prevent this from happening flushed through his mind, before he knew it a tear was rolling down his cheek. His legs felt like jelly and needed to sit down, he needed to scream and yell and ask y/n so many questions. But all he did was walk to his room to hopefully sleep this off and to wake up fork this nightmare.

Knowing he is too late to go find her and thinking she probably moved on already from him, Bucky didn’t know what was worse the fact that he didn’t tell her how much he loved her before she left or that he didn’t know if he even did anymore after she did.

~

Y/n was shaking, stark had told her everything, part of her was scared that he left and the part of her was yelling at herself for this dumb idea. Why did she even try to do this? Now he things she left, and doesn’t love him, when by god all she wants to do is hold Bucky and tell him how much she loves him. Natasha was trying to calm y/n down, telling her the situation will get better and they still have a chance to make this right.

The original plan was make Bucky think y/n was off on a mission and for him to come upstairs and find her there with a surprise dinner on the tower roof, but obviously that didn’t work.

Now here y/n and the avengers were trying to fix what happened, Steve was reasonably trying to convince Bucky to go his room and rest and therefore Steve would pull the “im with you till the end of the line, hey how about we go talk about our feelings on the roof“ thing, but Bucky didn’t want to, knowing he’d see y/n stuff in their room and just get upset all over again.

But what Bucky didn't know was that y/n praying she could make this right.

Nat pitched the idea of just going down there and just telling Bucky what happened.

“But that’d ruin what you were working for and your plan?” Wanda tried to explain all the reason why they shouldn’t do that.

Y/n started to think of anyway she could try to get this to work, but all she could think of was the thought that Bucky hates her and never wants to see her again.

“I think at this point I could care less about this damn surprise, all I care about is Bucky right now and holding him, and telling him that I would never ever wanna be with someone other than him, I’d die for him and sacrifice so much for him and he doesn’t even know how much I love him yet, and now I’m never going to be able to tell him that because I fucking messed up the best thing I ever had”.

Y/n didn’t realize how much she went on until she was out of breathe she couldn’t feel her lungs, due to breathing so hard, Wanda and Natasha bother pulled there friend into a hug, for what seemed like ages they stood there in the cold night, the wind blowing through the silence until a voice broke it.

“You love me?” The question came from a voice y/n knew all to well, when she let go of her friends embrace she met eyes with none other than Bucky Barnes himself.

To his right was Steve and tony they somehow got Bucky up to the roof just in time, neither of them expecting to her such a heartfelt speech they were expecting y/n to just run to Bucky arms, and all would be forgiven, but everyone could tell this root was unplanned.

“Buck...I-“ y/n started but let out a deep sigh.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t know this would go this way, it was all in a whole plan, I was trying to make it seem like I was not gonna be here for the anniversary and now I ruined it all and I don’t know if you’ll even take me back, because you probably think I’m so stupid to even think this would work out and you probably don’t even wanna be with me-“

Bucky let out a sharp breath as he took y/n’s lips in his and grabbed her waist, while pulling her close, the cold breeze of the New York night was chilling and with a mix of a deep kiss gave y/n a shiver up her spine.

The couple than realized they actually have to let each other go in order to get some more oxygen, Bucky hazed into y/n eyes. The two forgot everyone else was up there watching the scene play out, in that moment it was only them two.

“Doll, I don’t ever wanna be with anyone else but you”

Bucky confessed and took y/n lips in his once more, embracing her.

Their lips cut off as they heard an awkward cough coming from behind Bucky as the source was tony.

“I don’t mean to break this up but,,, you guys aren’t breaking up right? You two are like a thing again?” Tony, and the other avengers up on the rooftop with the couple already knew the answer to that question but they knew they tony only asked that rhetorical question to break the silence, and also maybe to somewhat double check he wasn’t still in deep she about the situation.

“You aren’t off the hook stark” y/n called the avenger out.

“Damn it you two, come on I let you live here for free cut me some slack, you two wouldn’t be a thing if it weren’t for me” tony then turned around with a wave of his hand and left the rooftop, the fellow avengers followed.

All that was left was Bucky and y/n they sat at the edge of avengers tower, looking down at the view of the New York lights and the beautiful city. Embracing one each other in the slightly chilly night Bucky held y/n closely, neither of them ever wanting to let go.

Mutuals I’d die for + taglist: @boohooiamthefool @moonkissedtom @aw-hawkeye @mc-universe @zendayacolemen @zenithzendaya @starksparker @starboyholland @one-curly-spider-boi @likechadwick @xoxojcanne @dej-okay @dtftomholland @screamholland @pietrorunsforme @beautifullydisconnected @fuckyou-imspiderman @the-quackson-claxon @the-quackson-brothers @hollandroos @hollyjollyholland @hollandazing

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[untilrecently]

Oof. So about that last job...

OK so I was at the fucking end of my rope with the fucking water department job. Those motherfucking assholes on the phones everyday were sucking out my soul and I was getting less and less able to hide my disdain. I may have even let one guy hear me chuckle and when he said, “Is this funny to you? Cuz I’m actually pretty pissed off about it!” (It was like some $16 late penalty or something. Nothing to get truly upset about so yes, it was funny).

Unfortunately, he heard me laugh again in response.

This led to him demanding to know my name and I let him know it was Amanda (what I get called all the time, anyway). He yelled back, “Samantha?! And you’re the only Samantha there?!”

“Sure.”

So yeah. I was not good at this non-stop talking to ridiculous assholes thing.

I remember thinking to myself, “OK. I’m going to try to stick this job out for at least a year and then start looking...but if something better comes along, I’m fucking taking it.”

The next day I got the call for the new job. Twas fate. I have clung to them as my life preserver ever since.

I got offered the job the day after the interview and told them I could start as soon as possible. Meaning I would be giving the water department a whole one day notice. Because fuck them.

BUT...funny story about that.

Two days before I was going to quit and the day after I had “called out” for a couple days in order to get the new job coordinated, I got asked to meet with my boss at the end of the day.

I followed her down the hallway and even thought to myself, “Ho shit. I bet she’s firing me.”

Sure enough, Cancer Boss led me into a conference room where Tiny Boss was waiting. I swear to god, I almost laughed out loud when I saw him.

I sit down and she says, “So, I have some bad news...things just aren’t really working out and-”

I interrupted her.

“Ya know what? Let me stop you right there. Things really weren’t working out for me, either. I actually have a new position starting Monday, I was going to quit on Friday.”

Her eyebrows shot WAY up and all she said was, “Oh! Oh! So...oh!”

I nervous giggled and said, “Yeahhh...so you just saved me a few awkward conversations this week! So thank you!”

Her eyebrows still to the ceiling she said, “So..I have your last check here...and..uh..there’s benefits information if you need it…”

I go, “I won’t. Thanks though!” and reached out for my last check.

Said thank you again and started to walk out with the two of them behind me. You could feel their surprise in the room. It was tangible. It felt like they were both revved up to chew me out and when I didn’t give them the option, they didn’t know what to do with themselves.

Honestly, pretty fucking funny.

Went to my desk, grabbed all two personal items I had there, deleted everything off my desktop and told my coworker I’d text her later.

I’d say of all my firings in the past year or so, this one was the best. It was really great timing and oh so enjoyable.

I went straight to the bank to drop my check and buy some nice champagne to celebrate.

Cuz I’m a classy asshole.

Anyway. The only hiccup now is we are still waiting on my fucking background check to clear at the new job. It’s been 3 weeks which is sort of ridiculous. I should be more panicked (and trust me, MOST of the time, I am,) but I’m also semi-enjoying the break from working 7 days a week.

I HAVE been working a lot more at the hotel so I have a ton of shitshow bartending stories to share soon. I just wanted to start with the update of my unemployment/semi-employed status.

For example, it’s not just offices where people fuck up my name. I wear a nametag at the hotel for fuck’s sake and yet, I was joking with a table last Friday night and talked to them several times. The guy that paid the bill (with my name printed on the top) joked with me repeatedly about looking “great for his age of 89 and I look great for 56” (har har, bad joke but whatever).

As he’s leaving, he waves and says, “Carla! Thank you SO much!”

Sigh.

Anyway. That’s all for now. Hopefully I’ll have a start date soon for the new job and won’t have to serve assholes at the bar 5 days a week anymore. That’s starting to wear on me, too. Turns out, I’m just REALLY bad at tolerating stupid. Who knew?

[vampoftheirish]

(Open starter)

Working the bar at Fangtasia cuz the blasted bartender hadn't shown up yet again. She'd talked ta Pam about it and enough was enough. Aye yes The Irish beauty knew where the lad had run off to yet again. Rolling her soft brown eyes as Pam took over.* Dontca worry, doll. 'e won't be comin' back. Yeah yeah, I know... no killin' 'im.

*held her after #Bill called her telling her he'd just had sex with Lorena. With that, in a flash, she was gone. Showing up at his boyfriend's house, Niamh politely knocked on the door. As it opened, a strapping young man... age mattered little anymore. Just as long as it wasn't a child. Blond hair like hers. Though his was died. Blue eyes. As blue as the ocean. But completely gay. What a shame. She could have him 5 ways from Tuesday... Is that how it was said? A gasp echoed from the luscious red lips.*

Oye, I'm 'ere ta see yer boyfriend. 'e didn't show up ta work at Fangtasia again. May I come in ta talk ta 'im? *Not attempting to glamour the young man, he simply nodded and invited her in. Sitting her pretty white derriere on the couch, she smiled as Justin approached her from the bedroom.* 'ow ye been? Ye didn't call in ta work. Pam and I were worried somethin' fierce. Dis is da 5th time. *Justin got on his knees and began begging for his job. "Please, Niamh.. I swear to you and Pam it ain't gonna happen again." Eyes stained with blood tears, Niamh wanted to believe him.* Ya got yer sugar daddy. Ya don't need a job. *His lover got angry. "I am not a sugar daddy!" Niamh jetted to him and glamoured him.* Ye ain't got notin' ta do with dis conversion bloodbag.

*Justin, angered, came face to face with Niamh. "Zi love him." She laughed at him and shoved him inoo the wall.* Ye are 2 years old. I am 580 years older than ye. If ye want to start a fight, be prepared ta die. I will tell yer Maker you attacked me. Do ye want yer job or not?

*He nodded and said yes.* Good, cuz dis is gonna 'urt. *Stepping towards the boyfriend, she whispered in his ear that he now loved women. Niamh quickly got their clothes off and bit him during sex. Tears and cries came forth from her employee. Niamh then drained him dry, took the body to the cemetery and forced Justin to bury him slightly in an open grave.* Now, let's get back ta Fangtasia. Love is for the weak. You'll learn.

[liightburned]

Is that MERRITT PATTERSON? No, that’s just DAWN LEHNSHERR, a young VILLAIN that goes by the name of LUCENT. Rumor has it they are the TWENTY-SIX YEAR OLD kid of ERIK LEHNSHERR and inherited their LIGHT MANIPULATION from them. SHE is RESILIENT and VENGEFUL.

it bibi back at it again 

daughter of max eisenhardt , more commonly known as erik lehnsherr or magneto , and a fellow mutant / woman named heather rosenthal on some one-night stand twenty-six years ago lmfao

which makes her related to ....... A Lot of people

psssst heyho , quick pinterest board promo

her main / overall mutant power is light manipulation !! light manipulation can b described as: “user can create, shape and manipulate visible light, commonly referred to as light, is electromagnetic radiation that is visible to the human eye, and is responsible for the sense of sight.”

sooo dawn has pink hair ( “ oh your hair color is cool ! ” / “ thanks lol i was born with it ” )

unfortunately , dawn went to a ‘ normal school ’ & lived with a human family by the time she was eleven , as her mother ended up getting arrested and sent to prison oops . but like , it was a place where humans didn’t exactly enjoy that there was a MUTANT in their quaint human-only community ... much less one with naturally pink hair that would b hard to miss . her foster parents never legally adopted her because hey , this is “ temporary ” only until social services located her father ( spoiler: nobody was actively seeking out magneto , as the social workers didn’t think he would be a suitable guardian ?? like , y’know , considering . plus like at age eleven , dawn’s mutant powers hadn’t manifested yet --- like most mutants , honestly , but that information was unaware to them --- so for all they knew she could’ve copped out of the gene ! )

thEY WERE WRONG , CLEARLY

when she was thirteen , she was called down to the principals office . of course she figured it was just because she got into yet another fight w/ dumb ignorant humans ( at that point , ya Angry Girl was getting into it w/ students and teachers alike ) lol but oh buddy was she in for a ride apparently , the prison her mother went to was mixed human & mutant .... & there was an accident . some anti-mutant prisoners , hell probably even a guard too lbr people are corrupt and hateful esp when they don’t understand ! , ended up beating heather ..... she was taken to the medical wing , but it wasn’t much use as she ended up dying

so . thirteen year old dawn , under already enough stress & clearly budding instability issues , just lost her mother officially . her foster parents STILL refused to legally adopt her and kept pressing for social services bc this is just TOO MUCH . it wasn’t going to work , they ultimately knew .... until they got another call from the school . dawn apparently attacked some students ......... using her “ mutant powers ” ; obv , it came as a shock to her foster parents --- the girl didn’t have powers last time they were aware of . surely there was a mistake . but there wasn’t

it was BLINDING light , and she made it VIOLENT ; it was “ what they deserved ” --- at least that’s what dawn thought , after the years of being looked down on because who she is . she wasn’t going to take it anymore , she didn’t have to - she didn’t deserve that

fortunately for her , however ! she was taken to xavier’s school and despite her #issues , she was getting better with her power ! progress was being made ! ofc charles probably saw this girl’s last name and was like oh shit

she was v happy to meet her dad though finally like her mom prob told her sm ab him & she obv looked into events etc just ..... wow mayb her life was lookin up !

but also prob not a good thing as much considering she got hella into the brotherhood jfhdjknf

speaking of her & the brotherhood , she is an actual member these days ; likely got initiated when she was like , sixteen kdnwkdmka start ‘em young ig

fact time !! our girl was raised jewish ! she celebrates hanukkah but she will lightly dabble into christmas and stuff for non-jewish friends , etc

although she technically a villain bc well ... the nature of the brotherhood ... she doesn’t think of herself as a villain ? #magnetowasright , #toomanyhumans ! like ok ... she won’t outwardly hate you if you’re human unless you do smthin but it does automatically mean she’s like major side-eye emoji until she can 100% trust you cuz....... #trustissues , among other things huh

like magneto & many of his kids , dawn does struggle w/ mental stability . not as badly as lorna or anyone , and for that dawn is grateful , but ... there are definitely hints of it . depression , mainly . like , she can b fine some days and then ya kno , boom . sneaks up on her :/ she had more self-esteem issues when she was younger ; as she got older she keeps saying she doesn’t care but ... like she does .... you know what they say ‘ i feel like i’m the worst so i act like i’m the best ’

was an angry kid , still an angry adult . sometimes uncontrollably so or irrationally . i say sometimes but honestly it is a lot of the time rly

can you also say , intense fear of abandonment ?

actually come to think of it , she may have some form of bpd but . she wouldn’t even kno it :// sighs

BUT SHE LOVES HER FAM . ALL OF THEM . EVEN IF THEY AIN’T AB THE BROTHERHOOD LIFE like wow would literally kill for them......like a good trash squad-mother would do ! 

[itsyaboisayori]

Why I’m questioning Sayori

I said I’d make this post so here it is! Even got on my laptop to properly do the post :p I’m just kinda winging this but I’ll try to list out everything I can. If I forget stuff I’ll go back and edit it later so if you’re curious, keep watch! I’ll reblog any time I make edits, at least somewhat big ones. 

Also, replies are welcome! I’m open to constructive criticism and anyone wanting to offer new viewpoints. I accept that I’m still learning and nothing is for sure yet. Also tbh anyone telling me I sound like I’m kin is validating as heck so if you’re thinking it then I’d appreciate you saying it ahaha, but please don’t lie to me because you think you know what I want to hear. I want the truth. I don’t want to be a confused mess ;n; And I know all/most of these could be COMPLETELY unrelated to being Sayori fictionkin, but I feel like they’re worth mentioning anyways. It’s more like, a bunch of little coincidences rather than big solid evidence, I’m aware of that and that’s a big reason why I’m questioning and not for-sure Sayorikin.

One thing I realized just a couple of days ago is how, since I was a kid I’ve had this like, ideal thing I guess? how do I put this into words lmao my brain is dumb,, I guess a fantasy, that I’d fall in love with a childhood friend, like someone I’m close with from a young age but strictly friends for a long time. I’ve always been in love with the idea of falling in love with your best friend. And of course that’s what happens to Sayori, due to her programming in DDLC. And if I’m kin with Sayori from other game(s) rather than just DDLC then it definitely could be something unrelated, just a coincidence.

I’m like, really drawn to DDLC?? Maybe just because DDLC is a great game and I love all the creepypasta type stuff behind it all, all the theories and dark shit, and also I think just as a cute dating sim it’d be great anyways (but nowhere near as great). But idk, when I saw it I immediately felt kinda drawn to it but maybe that’s just in my head or for some other reason like the characters look nice or smth.

Also it REALLY gives me feels. It makes me feel things in general. I rarely get genuinely scared from fictional stuff anymore but this game fucked me up. I’m still scared to play it on my own because, even after watching multiple youtubers play it multiple times, it still fucking scares me.

The Sayori suicide scene and her poem- especially the poem- really get to me. I saw people making hanging puns in the previous video before her death so it was kind of spoiled for me but even still, it got to me. And the scene where Sayori is freaking out because you deleted Monika before playing the game REALLY gets to me,, like I just understand that overwhelming, helpless feeling. Especially finding out why she acted that way, it’s so fucking hard to watch that scene and normally I’m not affected by this kind of stuff. So either DDLC is extremely good at psychological horror or I have some sort of connection to the scenarios, whether that be just that I’ve been through similar things and am projecting (not really that I remember though? idfk brains are weird) or ya know,,, I once lived as someone in DDLC or whatever.

(TW self harm/suicide/choking) Probably has no real correlation but when I have panic attacks/flashbacks (unrelated to DDLC I mean) I feel like I’m choking or like I can’t breathe. And when really frustrated I tend to choke myself? Sayori died from asphyxiation instead of her neck being broken, by accident because she used a stepping stool instead of something higher like a chair and jumping off. Btw I’m okay, I never actually choke myself to the point to causing permanent damage or anything, and of course I’m not saying this is like, okay or anything. I know it’s bad but I’ve done it completely on impulse, and this was all before learning DDLC even existed. I’m working on getting better and I’m not going to kill myself or anything, just thought I’d mention this.

I relate to her personality,,, so fucking much. Not just the whole pretending to be happy to make your friends happy thing, but how she is as a person besides her depression. Tbh I feel like a lot of people relate to her because of her depression and how she deals with it, but like she’s so much more than that. She pretends to be dumb but it actually pretty smart. Maybe she’s not the best with words but I think she’s a lot more intelligent than some people think. She’s so cheerful, maybe even annoying, and is kind of the class clown, and is a total weirdo sometimes but it’s GREAT and just,, same lmao. Like “looks like my boobs are getting bigger again >:D” is something I’d say lolol I just love Sayori so much, like idc if I’m kin with her or not she’s still fucking amazing.

Another reason I relate to her but probably is like not at all proof I’m Sayori or anything, just thought I’d mention anyways, but I was kinda like, really in love with my guy friend in high school for years, he’s actually kinda like MC in some ways, like he was kinda popular with girls but not like Popular(tm), super nice and couldn’t directly say no, but he knew I was in love with him (or at least knew I had a crush on him but he probably had no idea I liked him THAT much but hey neither did I for a long time lmao) and didn’t like me back and even started intentionally avoiding me. Like, he would make up an excuse to not give me a hug, like he was late for class, but hugs only take like a fucking second what the hell?? It sucked but like when the player turns down Sayori I Relate.

I just,,,,, want to hug Natsuki like she’s fucking adorable and I want to protect her the most bc she’s like a precious child and she’s obviously abused by her dad. Tbh Yuri is a little creepy and for some reason I don’t like her that much but I mean I’d still hug her. I don’t hate Monika, like it was just her programming to do all that stuff she did so I don’t blame her and she’s p cool and I’d hug her too tbh. When Sayori interacts with Natsuki it makes me feel all warm n fuzzy. Like I don’t think in my canon Sayori and Natsuki were dating or anything, I think I/Sayori am/was just really protective? Idk, thought I’d throw that out there.

I also heavily relate to wanting to be a mediator and wanting to help everyone get along and be happy. I often (try to) play that role in this life. I’m extremely empathetic, so that’s prob why, but I can’t stand when people are fighting or can’t see each other’s point of view. Though it also frustrates the FUCK out of me when people refuse to or just absolutely cannot see any point of view but their own. Maybe that’s not really a Sayori thing but ye

When I look at Sayori I get the same “that’s me!” feeling as when I see my kintypes. Who knows though, maybe in a month or two it’ll fade, we’ll see I guess. But right now it is Very Strong. Like I’ve somewhat questioned being fictionkin with other characters before but I’ve never had the “that’s me” feeling this strong with anyone else. Ruby from RWBY is a close second but I still think she’s just a kithtype.

I feel like having a past life or whatever as someone who was experimented on kinda makes sense?? Maybe I just enjoy horror a little too much but I really think if I am Sayori I’m kin with her like actual her not just the DDLC version of her. The new game hasn’t even been announced yet but I’m so excited, mostly because I feel like I want to learn more about my possible past life I guess. I wanna see if things in the second game connect with me or if it’s just DDLC. But I feel like, if I’ve had any past lives as any humans, they were probably really dark or smth. I kinda have a dark mind I guess and that would just make sense to me lmao, like I’m 21 why haven’t I grown out of my edgy phase, why the fuck am I still really into creepypasta? Damn.

I’ve been kinda obsessed with DDLC lately. I have BPD so it could totally just be a BPD obsession thing and maybe this obsession will fade and someday I won’t care too much about DDLC, only time will tell. Also I’ve had the song Your Reality stuck in my head for a week straight but it may just be a catchy song and I tend to have a song that kinda automatically starts playing in my head occasionally, usually lately it’s been Sad Machine by Porter Robinson (good song btw highly recommend)

Most likely unrelated but Sayori’s hair has been described as “strawberry blonde” on one wiki and my hair is like, light brown but reddish, though it looks more like Monika’s hair, especially because I keep my hair long. I’ve been kinda wanting to cut it but I like having long hair tbh and I feel like a lot of ppl don’t want me to cut my hair haha, though I really wanna get a short wig and maybe wear that occasionally (esp bc I’m non binary and wanna pass as more boyish sometimes, I know society will never accept me as nb bleh but anyways). Though, it’s been said that the reason her hair is short is because it’s easier for her to deal with, but I’m not 100% sure if that’s canon. Though I guess it doesn’t matter much? cuz multiverse stuff n all but, still.

Speaking of her appearance, she seems to not care too much about how she looks, which I relate to haha, especially because of depression n stuff. I mean I have Crippling Social Anxiety(tm) so I do care to an extent but usually I’m like, if someone likes me they’ll like me for who I am not how I look anyways. I don’t feel the need to dress super proper to impress anyone in casual social situations, like making friends or even going on dates (though I’ve only been on a real date like a few times and they were with my gf who I’d already been dating online for a while). And yeah a big reason she’s so careless about her appearance is depression but I think if I wasn’t depressed and she wasn’t depressed we’d still both have that mentality like, we don’t need to impress anyone with our appearance so it’s better to just dress how you want, whatever way makes you feel comfortable and happy with yourself and your body, than focus on being proper and stuff.

Maybe I’m just projecting but man I feel like a lot of stuff I do and my ways of thinking and stuff are very Sayori(tm). I feel like I am so much like her, like she’s so me. Though of course, maybe my reason for being kin with her is purely psychological. Maybe I “became” her after seeing DDLC. Maybe I am her because I relate to her so much. But again, only time will tell. If I still feel like I identify as her (which, currently, I most definitely do) in a couple of months or so, then I guess I’ll start calling myself fictionkin. Idk.

[shadesofmonochrome]

Wtf Rui !! Remmeber what you promised your sister!

NO HARD FEELINGS !!

(Updated as of 7:40pm I went on my laptop and fixed the post so it isn’t slashed anymore T3T ...I’m warning ya. Domestic and Kanojo Spoilers esp with ch272 and me just stating my opinion).

Don’t be an idiot and not go through with the wedding with Natsuo! Just Love and Marry him !! Hina already knew her place after Natsuo promised to be with you and you having his kid on top! Like, if Hina wasn’t in such a vegetative state, she’d slap the hell out of you and tell you it’s ok to be happy !!! Uuggh, I just wanna see Hina wake up so she can be happy with someone else (which we probably won’t see in the manga at this point. Feel she’s gonna do a self love journey or something ).

The first paragraph is just bullet point of shipping; second paragraph is me not promoting antiHina .If you wanna skip it go to third paragraph that has a bold sentence. Might make a future post on domestic na kanojo ships when series is over.

I don’t ship RuixNatsuo but I respect that they’re together . It is what it is ; I won’t bash shipping cuz I do kind of see how and why they ended as a couple just not 100% liking or maybe understanding the shipping yet. My ship ? Yes i do like HinaxNatsuo that’s my ship and I don’t care about “taboos” in the series because 1. It’s fictional ppl so the mangaka can write whatever they want - sometimes sadly (and y’all have read worse manga taboos-and hentai. I know y’all have read at least one and y’all better be of age to read this cuz y’all shouldn’t be like ‘oh they’re promoting bad stuff to society’ and etc. like I said. It’s fucking fiction). 2. They’re not blood related (just they’re parents are married , it’s not like you would know ur crush would be ur family member cuz hey, it’s a small world after all). Not satisfied with this paragraph ? Again I’m on mobile and I want to reread the series again when the series is complete so I don’t miss any details without waiting for new chapter.

I do read posts of antiHina saying she’s a bother . But hello, she’s Rui sister. She’s gonna butt in. If she was like a regular stranger then yes but she isn’t. And Hina is only human . Cuz she’s older, she needs to be an adult . And being the adult she is , she did backed off for Natsuo and her sister sake. Her flaw (which is also a strength that can improve ) as a character is that she holds everything in and will do everything alone (even for the one she loves) because shes older than Natsuo, because she’s Rui older sister and because she’s an adult to her mom and society’s eyes. And y’all can’t just ridicule her for still having feelings for Natsuo. She was in a messed up relationship with her teacher (the messed up part being he was married while they were together and being indecisive because of their age -no lie he started this shit up) and was a bit of an outcast in school. She even tried to make Natsuo hate her even before they became a couple. But Natsuo didn’t back away from Hina even though he would confuse her at times since Rui and him had that moment in Ch. 1 and that kiss in his room awkward. Adding, she had a stalker and Natsuo saved her ! Like , not most ppl would jump in front of u to save u. So; I honestly , give Hina a break by not calling her derogatory names. You don’t have to like her but don’t say she’s a bitch stealing Rui’s man. Natsuo fell for Hina first in a romantic way and later with Rui and Hina hasn’t used any deceptive methods to steal Natsuo. Plus, the girls agreed to “win his affections.”

ANYWAYS !!! Coming back to main the topic at hand . Hopefully if you read last paragraph , as much as it might contradict what I’m writing , I don’t want to see Hina with Natsuo. Especially because of what’s happening rn. Because if Hina wakes up to know Rui broke off the marriage just cuz Rui felt guilty after seeing the rings and overhearing Natsuo and Kobayashi talking , she’ll be upset and knock Rui to her senses (honestly I want Hina to slap Rui). Hina wouldn’t want to be with Natsuo out of guilt. She would want to be with him if it’s from the bottom of his heart. But Hina and I both know , esp with everything that has happened in the series , they won’t be happy together. Natsuo will choose Rui. Even before the accident he was upfront about it and Hina understood. And it’s heartbreaking esp Hina held onto mementos of their moments together ! It’ll take time for her to heal and this is what I hope: I hope for her to wake up, for NatsuoxRui to marry overall and for Hina to move out of the house again and take time away from her family and come back one day with a smile on her face and with someone else. Someone who can make her happier , provide for her like protecting her and to have her open up to them (saying that she doesn’t need to do anything alone and it would be even better if they can give her a hand without asking or waiting for her to do it ). Because there’s an important saying for couples that people should know (esp with ch 272):

You can’t build your happiness upon the happiness of someone else - Married Life (old movie forgot the year ).

[zhong-er-bing]

100 Days of Languages: Day 5 (Korean)

Day 5: Translate a song

Oh boy, this is gonna be tough and I’ll have to cheat a little by checking with an actual translation, but I’m gonna try it.

Ok, so this song is I’m Not a Boy, Not Yet a Man by Cross Gene. It’s one of the first songs I ever memorized all the lyrics too, even though at the time I had no idea what it was about. I translated it armed with Naver’s English-Korean dictionary and a translation of the lyrics to check mine against, and although I can’t say I really endorse the subject matter (sounds like she’s just not that into you, Cross Gene), I was surprised and pleased by how much I was able to understand/figure out.

(Italicized words were already in English)

Yeah Can I call you mine Stay by my side You’re the only one who runs my world Don’t be afraid my love 또 보고 말았어 또 울고 있었어

I saw it again, you were crying again

더는 못 참겠어 이건 아니야

I can’t stand this anymore, it’s not right

그 사람만 보다 그렇게 사라진

Your beautiful smile that disappeared when looking only at him

니 예쁜 미소 되돌리겠어 oh oh

I will bring it back

유치한 말 있잖아

There’s a childish saying that

나이는 숫자에 불과해

Age is just a number

못 보겠어 눈물 맺혀있는거

I can’t stand seeing tears form

니 눈가에

In your eyes

다 닦아주고 받아 줄 거야

I’ll wipe them all away

다른 말은 필요 없어

You don’t need to say anything else

너를 안아줄 거야

I will hold you in my arms

Is age really just a number I don’t know but one thing I’m sure it’s all about my heart beat keep in mind baby I’m the one for you forever I swear by the moon and the stars that we’ll be together

[Chorus] 이제는 나만 바라봐

Only look at me now

더 이상 걱정하지 마

Don’t worry anymore

아무도 나만큼 너를 사랑 할 수는 없어

Nobody could love you as much as I do

다시 돌아보지 마

Don’t look back again

그래 넌 나만 바라봐

Just look at me

어려도 남자야

Although I’m young, I am a man

넌 내꺼야

And I’m yours

오 워우워 오오 오 워우워 오오 오 워우워 오오 어려도 남자야

I’m young, but I’m still a man

오 워우워 오오 오 워우워 오오 오 워우워 오오 너 만의 남자야

I’m your man, only yours

[End Chorus]

아직은 어려도 아직 부족해도

Although I’m still young, although I’m still lacking

나의 밝은 미래 다 니꺼 니까

My bright future is completely yours

남들이 뭐래도 넌 신경 쓰지 마

No matter what men say, ignore it all

세상이 우릴 몰라준대도 uh

Even if the world doesn’t acknowledge us

baby wanna get you my girl (x2) 시선을 다른 곳에다 두지마

Don’t look anywhere else

니가 봐야 할 곳은 바로 여기야

The only place you need to look is right here

baby wanna love you my girl (x2) I wanna make you smile when ya lonely cuz baby you got me 24 7 all day

[Chorus]

날 냅두고 어딜 계속 보는 거야

Where do you keep looking and leaving me behind?

나만 보면 돼

You only need to look at me

It’s the love baby like you’ve never ever had 내가 잘할게

I’ll be good to you

나의 이런 마음

A heart like mine

너는 절대 모를 거야

You will never understand

사랑 하니까

Because I love you

They say I’m a hustler but who knows I don’t need nobody else but you you know 이제는 나만 바라봐

Only look at me right now

더 이상 걱정하지 마

Don’t worry anymore

믿어봐 다 책임질게

Trust me and I won’t let you down

내 어깨에 기대봐

You can lean on my shoulder

다시 돌아보지 마

Don’t look back anymore

그래 넌 나만 바라봐

Only look at me

어려도 남자야

I’m young, but I’m still a man

넌 내꺼야

And I’m yours

오 워우워 오오 오 워우워 오오 오 워우워 오오 어려도 남자야

I’m young, but I’m still a man

오 워우워 오오 오 워우워 오오 오 워우워 오오 너 만의 남자야 

I’m your man, only yours