#but then again i dont want UGLY guys either. i think i just am most interested in guys who are ‘cute’ instead of sexy

[st5lker]

im realizing im not even that interested in men that are too sexy like stick to porn fabio

[lollytea]

Up until a month back I liked a guy. And I really liked him. But I found out he didn't like me back. I was really upset, but I didn't want to hold it against him, but then I found out he had a reputation of being a player (which, at our age of 14 is flirtatiously texting girls and then just. Ghosting them).

And I felt really upset. I began to question if he even saw me as a friend, and whether the way he texted me was even friendly. What if he secretly loathed me and was just doing this to get a kick out of it? What if he knew about my feelings and they were just a joke to him?

I wanted to cry, but I told my friends and my sister I was okay. But I wanted to scream. Its not my fault I was born ugly. It's not my fault my face makes me unlovable. And even though I wanted to distance myself from him I felt some sort of perverse pleasure every time he did something embarrassing in front of every one.) And that's when I think it hit me.

That's why I'm unlovable. I am unlovable because I'm a terrible person. My friends tried to comfort me saying that he's a shitty person who can't see my beauty/cuteness, but friends are obligated to say that. I wanted to believe them because they're all so beautiful, and they would never lie to me because they love me. But they deserve a better friend than me.

I want to cry because I want to experience having a whirlwind romance, and falling in love. I also know I'll probably never have that.

And AGH I feel so upset. Because all my life I've known I was ugly. But when this guy showed me attention, was nice to me, it made me feel special. Made me feel like I was having my own romance.

I hate it I hate it I hate it. I hate that I can't be loved, I hate my face, I hate myself for feeling these things. Last year when I suspected I began liking him, I told myself not to fall too deep, and here I am, ranting to you on tumblr dot com.

Lollytea, I love your writing and I love your posts. I love how confident you are of yourself. I'm very sorry for ranting in your inbox about my shitty love life, if this makes you uncomfortable, please delete it. But if you don't, I genuinely would like some encouragement. That my time for my own romance will come. That I will learn to love this face.

You're not unlovable. You're just 14. It just happens that being 14 feels a lot like being chronically unlovable. But no, that is not actually the case.

Maybe you've heard this a lot. And I imagine that it must be frustrating to listen to. That being a teenager just means your emotions are bigger and more intense than they will ever be in your entire life, so they're irrational and silly.

That's not the case either. Your feelings matter. And they're worth being listened to. But I do need you to keep in mind that the age range you're in right now is one of the most difficult periods of time that a human being will ever go through. Being a teenager is very hard. Being an adult is hard too. But me and every adult I've ever met would not trade it for being 14 again. No way in hell.

It does severely influence how you see yourself and why your emotions feel so strong and messy and all over the place. But I assure you that you're doing a fantastic job for a person in your situation. It's rough and you're getting through it and I'm proud of you.

Firstly, I'm going to say this quite bluntly but dont take it as me insulting them. Most of the boys in your class probably aren't that smart. And they are the absolute worst people to be seeking validation from. I promise that their opinion of you is not worth worrying about because they are...stupid, frankly. They won't be stupid forever. Probably. But being 14 is a weird age for boys too and they're quite mean for a while before they mature and chill tf out. Please try not to let it get to you if one of them doesn't like you romantically. I promise you it is not remotely a big deal. None of them have any idea how to be good boyfriends yet anyway.

No, you're not unlovable for occasionally having spiteful little thoughts about somebody who was mean to you. Everybody has those every once in a while. As long as you maintain some self-awareness and don't let cruelty consume your whole brain, having a few mean thoughts doesn't make you a terrible person. What WOULD make you a terrible person is external terrible behaviour. It's your actions that matter. So just be kind, alright? Be kind to your friends. Ignore the people you don't like but be civil. Don't hurt anyone. If you stick to all of this, you're golden. Considering that you already seem so self-critical of being a bit bitchy inside your own head, I think that's a promising sign than you won't do anything worse than that. I hope so anyway. Be kind, that's all you can do. Your friends love you. If you put your all into loving them in return, then you can have something so special.

You're not ugly, you're 14. Sorry, I'm getting a bit repetitive but I think it's relevant information to this whole situation. At the age you're at, your face is probably in this weird transitional period between child and adult so maybe that's why it might look "uglier" than usual to you. It might last a few more years but it won't look like that forever. I assure you that your face is beautiful because it's doing exactly what it's supposed to do. It's alright if you've felt ugly your whole life. The way you look at your own face is way more personal than the way you look at other people's faces. We don't really notice the flaws on others the way we notice our own. We're wired weird like that.

All I can say is hang tight. If you don't like your face then please try not to let it upset you that much. Your face hasn't fully developed yet. For the time being, you look exactly the way you're supposed to look and you're perfect. Let's see how it looks in a few years before we make any rash decisions about it being as ugly as you think it is.

Don't be hasty in the belief that you'll never find love and romance. I assure you that the age you're at is the absolute worst time to get a boyfriend and its perfectly okay if you don't experience it for another while. It's normal. You're fine. It's okay.

I know you want it. I know it sounds nice. And I promise that if its important to you, once you're older and the people you're interested in are a little smarter, you will have it.

I'm serious when I say that for the time being, focus on being a good friend. Focus on school. Focus on your own physical and mental health. Focus on your hobbies. Being wanted by 14 year old boys won't mean shit in the long run.

Things will be okay. You talk so much about how you'll be alone for the rest of your life. But your life has only just begun and you hardly know who you are yet. It's impossible to tell what will happen in the coming years. I promise that you'll be okay.

I know you came for me for reassurance but from that last paragraphs, I'm sure you're already smart enough to know the things I've told you. But I imagine that you just needed a second opinion. Take care, love.

[mokasitaa]

You guys , it hurts me so much to see the New Jeans press conference because it so clear to me that these girls do not know the full legal proceedings and their full contract with HYBE. As much as a i hate Hybe and hope that fat ugly man rolls away its clear that these girls have no clue about anything. Watching the press conference and seeing them clearly reading off a screen, and the moderator shutting down actually good, genuine questions shatters me. I love new jeans, and I was gagged when they debuted because, wow, what a way to debut. Haerin especially caught my eye because of her visuals and voice. I followed them heavily, as in on install, tt, twt, you name it. Every release they ever put out is always on my playlist, and they are a serious defining group of 4th/5th gen. When the whole scandal broke loose i definitely saw how each side was wrong. I mean the horrible mistreatment and blatant rudeness of HYBE put them in a bad light, but new jeans are not that innocent, either. Consistently standing up for a woman who has been weird her entire career and caused massive hate trains to other groups is just so so weird imo. Especially when you had huge artists like Jungkook backing you up was weird. She has been weird and literally used you, young girls, as a shield against the public. Now, i understand that she played the largest role in making New Jeans, New Jeans but you have to understand that she was never removed from the artistic perspective of New Jeans she was simply demoted at first. She would have easily been able to still have a major role in the group and still prolly have a close relationship with the girls. I dont want to use the words brainwashed or groomed because those are very powerful words that seem to have lost their meaning over the course of this. This said I think that there is a heavily co-dependent relationship between them and whether it's healthy or not is only up to someone who is properly licensed to say such stuff. I am just as proud of Hanni for speaking up about workplace bullying, and considering the New Jeans Hanni Act has been proposed; it shows the immense change these girls have brought. But she went there with little to no evidence backing her up, which made her good argument come across as incredibly weak. Simply claiming that HYBE violated their contracts so we dont have to pay the termination fee is so incredibly naive and shows that they did not think this out fully. There are laws in place to protect companies with contracts and more and most laws are not in idols' favor. I feel that sometimes Bunnies and nj look at the actual contract termination but forget why they worked in the first place. GOT7 literally studied the law to win theirs and often time literal physical abuse happens when these idols terminate. If EXO didn't win theirs in what world would new jeans win theirs? And for the bunnies saying that they'll just join another company, forget that at the end of the day, companies are a business, and seeing this, the largest lawsuit if the entertainment industry, no company would simply because if MHJ wasnt made CEO, would they leave again? Would they sue again? Also, HYBE has the rights to the concept of New Jeans and that kind of lawsuit would instantly bankrupt a small company. People forget that after termination, idols are often blacklisted from the entertainment industry and even if they signed American label we all know they dont care about K-pop, that's not where the main money is. Pls dont take this as an "im on hybes side" i am truly rooting for the girls and i want to see them succeed so badly but its clear that every grown-around them as failed miserably, and ist cleaer they dont understand the inner working of a contract and they need some serious threapy.

NEW JEANS NEVER DIE

[motionjames]

More of me whining incessantly! I want to say that it's not all bad, but I can't say it's all good either... ^^" uwaaahhhn...

I will keep saying "it'll be okay!" even if I dont entirely believe it.

I don't want to complain to my roomates, I'm already lying around so much, and I don't want to cry in front of my sister... In the mornings I end up crying and she looks really worried. It's not out of sadness or even pain, it's just that my body is stressed from everything so it starts up like that. Most of all I feel frustration since I cant work and my day job is about to hit a deadline. I need to pay rent, and I cant let anybody down. But I've spent most of my days with this squeezing feeling and little needles.

It's probably some kind of heart condition but my doctor (who is very nice!) is unable to find anything at the moment. I always feel like I'm wasting her time, or that I'm lying about soemthing. But I'm not lying! I have to keep reminding myself! That kind of thing isnt normal everyday! But even then, I feel like I'm lying ^^"

So the only thing I can do recently is read and write. I'm almost finished with The Moon Is Down by John Steinbeck and om sort of sad that it nearly over because I've read everything else on my shelf... I should go to the library, but going out leaves me out of breath. Ah, I still have those books I need to return. Thank goodness there arent any late fees \( ^_^)/

That leaves writing. It's hard to focus for long periods so I try to cut it up into snippets. I have two vns I'm supposed to be putting out but I've been so slow... theres a story I wanna write that's really eviscerating, but I hafta finish these first. It struck me as really funny that I write about a buncha guys with pains in their chest and now I have a pain in my chest too. Wahahaha.

Growing up I would have a stabbing feeling whenever I felt some negative emotion, it was really embarrassing. It was like an intense squeezing with a knife in the side. But it's silly to talk about because it was all psychosomatic. Even as an adult I had those. I ended up writing about that kind of feeling subconsciously because I was so embarrassed.

There was a certain incident that happened and my mood worsened all around, even now I cant sleep properly, but around that time I started getting more intense pangs without warning. I started writing something on the side very transparently about that with a young man traveling around as a hole in his chest grows and eventually kills him. I dont know if I will ever put it out but I go back to it time to time for fun. Now, I have that feeling everyday no matter the mood. I wonder if this whole time it wasnt anything psychosomatic, but actually serious? I'm so dense! Uwaaaaahhh!

So all I can do at the moment is write. Not even that much, mind you. How annoying. I'm worried my bitter feelings will spill over or that it'll come out too ugly. I don't think so... At least the stories will be fine. Ah, but my head hurts. Everything is squeezing again. I wont cry, but maybe I will, but I wont! Ahhhh! I cant become more useless than I already am! I miss everyone a lot! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

[bonezlyy]

SILLY GUY INTRO‼️

Hello gays in my phone, my name is Ezra and I am a huge fan of the utmv

But the skeleton part specifically

Shocker I know mate, my wattpad got deleted because wattpad is ableist so my headcanons are going to be put here instead

I don’t really know how to explain myself so I’ll do a character intro thing instead because I’m a lazy little shit 🫶🏼

Okay the sheet looked ugly so Im gonna write it by hand

Name: Ezra/Ez

Age: 15

Pronouns: He/him + neos but I cant be arsed to make my card so they dont really matter

Gender: Trans ftm, genderqueer

Sexuality: Aegosexual, Cupioromantic (aroace), gay

And this silly thing

the pet name kinda things aren't romantic in any way btw, I call ppl pet names platonically

If I do this and you dont like it just tell me and I'll stop :3

This blog is a safe space for:

Queer people, I am gay and Aroace myself

Trans people, including xenos. Again, I am trans and use xenos myself

Disabled people, I am autistic myself

Poc people, I am mixed race

Furries/therians/otherkins

Age regressors (sfw)

Systems

‼️DNI IF YOU’RE QUEERPHOBIC, TRANSPHOBIC, RACIST, ABLEIST, A PROSHIPPER OR ARE DISCRIMINATORY TOWARDS ANYONE WHO IS JUST EXISTING AS THEMSELVES‼️

Oh and if you’re that transphobic identity that I can’t remember the name of, where you dont date trans people and ur flag is the PH colours

And any stupid labels like that (mangasexual, dreamsexual and shit like that)

No, this blog will not include nsfw headcanons, they’re teenagers

It will definitely have nsfw/dark jokes because that is most of my humour but no headcanons/scenarios.

This blog is gonna be messy asf but in a hot silly gay way

Anyway I hope you enjoy my blog, there will probably be a lot of shitposting and I might try writing stuff but it’ll be mostly headcanons I think (or hope)

Also, its gonna be a highschool au

Because gay angry teenagers in a big gay friend group

My fucking dream.

Also Toriel is a teacher at this school

Asgore is the head master

And Frisk, Chara, Chris, Asriel, Suzie, Noelle, Alphys, Undyne; and X Chara who will just be called X, are all students too but they kinda just float in the background

And all of the papyrus siblings are either dead, missing, non existent or little children

All the Papyruses will be like 6-12

OH WAIT

and I can’t draw very well but Im trying to learn so I this au can be an actual comic thing

Well it’ll be an AO3 story first but I want to make outfits/designs for them and draw some scenes from it :3

MKAY BYE, HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS FAGULOUS SHITSTORM 💕💕💕

Holy shit this thing is long

I need to learn when to stop talking lmao 💀

[seefasters]

Regina spektor anon back at it again: the bj stuff w period of adjustment made me fucking crazy. The jealousy stuff, the jealousy stuff!! i had been so appalled and fascinated by how angry and dismissive bj was being about his own struggles in relation to others'. The stuff where he directly frames his absence from his family as uniquely worse than hawkeye's father. That seemed so unconscionably cruel. (Yet there is a way that he is a little bit right, cus he *is* missing crucial developmental stages in his daughter's life!!! He's very much in the wrong, but he is *just* right enough for u to get where he's coming from) Even more jarring was how physically volatile bj was being- something about punching hawkeye felt like such a crossed line. to me it felt like: theres no world where hawkeye punches back. He just lies there. It took really good, careful writing/acting to make someone behave as out of line as bj did and still come off as sympathetic. Mike Farrell really killed it, the monologue about how the first time erin called someone daddy it wasnt BJ.....

i rlly love bj, hes not necessarily my favorite character (Margaret Houlihan Nation rise), but he is probs the one i relate to the most. Hes an overachiever who is interpersonally easygoing and very invested in being *helpful* and behaving with integrity so he very capably plays emotional support while deferring his own needs perpetually. And he struggles a lot with envy, with an anxiety regarding missing out and running out of time. That line about being "so torn up with envy i almost hate him." re: radar and trapper slapped me in the face cus its a feeling i am so familiar with.

All of that repressed resentment and rage bubbles over in such a potently ugly way here, and i think it is so ugly *because* bj is usually such an easygoing yet morally upright guy. He is so invested in that version of himself that he refuses to deal with his own anger. Hawkeye, Margaret, and BJ are all Very repressed workaholics but in wildly different ways. Margaret allows herself to be snappish, overdisciplined, and aggressive. hawkeye turns everything into a joke and capitulates to bitter, cynical nihilism. BJ is too invested in his self image of casual kindness and morality to do either so consequently he has no outlet whatsoever- he just unexpectly explodes with rage every so often.

Also i was sort of curious about what you thought of this in relation to trapper actually. Like how bj differs as a friend to hawkeye, especially in this instance. Cus if i remember correctly trapper punched hawkeye in the face and it was sort of over the same thing! Trapper wanted to defect and a reason he gave is that he wanted to see his daughters. And that punch in the face was also harrowing, but the episodes/scenes in questjon play v differently while relating to eachother in fascinating ways. (Again heres an instance of hawkeyes closest companion visiting physical violence on him- violence that i dont think hawk would ever reciprocate)

I was curious of your thoughts.

hiiii!!

the trapper situation is slightly different in that a) he hits him with a duffel bag, not with his fist. still bad but probably hurts less and b) hawkeye does try to stop him and warns that he "doesn't want to use violence" which is like. he probably shouldve seen that coming. but tbh to me the trapper situation being played mostly for laughs and then dropped is just by virtue of it being in an early season. 1-3 had drama, but not like That. maybe if wayne rogers had stayed he'd get his own period of adjustment

in-universe though, i think that hawkeye was hit (and literally shoved aside) by both of his best friends because they wanted to return home that badly must've stung. because - yes, everyone wants to go home - but at some point its like is it the war or is it me lol. the man has enough abandonment issues as it is

i totally agree with your bj analysis! yes, bj is being a dick, but he's being a dick in such a natural way in this situation. it is so easy to forget that other people are suffering too when you're this disconnected from everything you've known

i think the core difference between hawkeye, margaret and bj is that margaret was born in the army and doesn't really have a civilian life to get back to, and hawkeye admitted to himself a long time ago that the war changed him and he's never going to be able to wash that off. but bj clings to his civilian life more than anyone in the 4077th (except maybe klinger - but he has different ways of showing it) and he refuses to even consider that the war could change him or his life. so when reality inevitably comes crashing down, he lashes out at people around him

[lostinatrainofthoughts]

2024 was really a time of trial and error for me. i can say i hated the year but those were the errors from the trials, and most of them were my choices anyway. but of course, had i known the outcome was brutal, i would have reconsidered these choices.

2024 was very painful, but i did do things i never would have imagined me doing.

like going on a dating app. huhhh?? who is she???? who was she. me, the introvert and homebody, actually went out and met people?? strangers from the net no less? when i hate being perceived? and when i get anxiety by socialising?? thats crazyyyyy. but i did it. not there anymore. and will never be. the last guy propelled me to get of the app for good lol. im now more confident of how i look too from that, bc guys who are goodlooking swiped me right. that was a major ego boost but again, male validation is gross and they might be just objectifying. but i guess partly bc of that, i know i am not ugly.

which brings me to my next one, finding someone i loved dearly and who "i guess" i felt gave me love... to an extent. i went on 3-4 diff. dates with diff dudes, an excrutiating amount of talking stages and i finally thought i met the one. mmmm this one felt like felt. it felt like we were meant to be. typical story of how are moms were childhood friends and were close in highschool. his mom has my bday. they live in the village where my grandpa lived before. our sun & moon signs are opposite of eachother. the moon on our bdays was the new moon and reflected facing eachother. like a mirror. i felt like he was an extention of myself. his pain i felt. what i am, i saw in him. also we both have the strangest names. huwaina. k/hairurr/abiee. thats so funny and unique and special to me. no one we know has our name. it was always fun with him. i felt safe earlier on. we always have something to say. with him, i felt oddly peaceful. but again, he also brought chaos in my life. and i was also used as a result! so theres a war in my head thats constantly tugging my brain at the seams. did i mean anything to him and how true was his feelings for me if he was trying to get over someone else in the mix? but anyway i will never know. and even if i asked him, would he tell me the truth? and if the truth is my biggest fear, then do i truly want to know? or should i just pretend that he loves me in this space where he cant reach me and hurt me?

its been 5ish months, almost 6??? i cant say ive fully moved on. had i known he was not written to be mine, i would have turned back time and wish we never met. but it is through him i finally was able to be vulnerable and open and experience what its like to be in love and have someone love me back. and that the love i thought i couldnt attain, i so could. so i know i can find love and i am loveable. i dont have to work so hard for it. so im gonna take this with me and i hope i do right with my next (hopefully eternal) lover. 6 months in, i finally realised and have accpeted he was just a lesson. eventhough i really wish he wasnt. hes engraved in my heart.

hmm what else. oh job. i quit my teaching job that was hell. but little did i know job searching for 5 months was a different kind of hell. i think this year alone, i want to like 15 interviews, and only managed to get into 2 and even then it was something i applied towards the end of the year. applied for scholarships too but didnt get through. a mess and was so emotionally taxing bc i wasnt financially stable, and was mending a broken heart lmaoooo. that was the worst.

lost alot along the way. him, my grandma, my cats. its been a disaster of a year. should it have happened? probably not. i dont think all of this was even warranted in the name of "growth". i feel like i would have grown either way, and there must be better routes to learn and grow that didnt require me getting trauma along the way.

but through all this, i found God and seek refuge to Him and Him alone. i feel like my relationship got closer. and I dont hate Him and blame him any more for my own wrong doings. and i also am more patient amd graceful with myself. i dont really treat myself cruelly.

but i hope this years different. i dont want to try so hard, and not see anything good come out of it. and i wont be repeating mistakes. i hope this year will be kinder to me. please please please.

[onmymasa22]

Write down ur future goals

I have a lovely life. I wear nice clothes. I wear nice jewelry. I love noce stuff.

Tell me about a day in my future life based onq

What i never said, but i mean ti say is: i dont want u in my life. I was better off before u were in my life, and ill b better off after i clean my head from u. I need a major cleaning. Cuz i shouldve thrown u out before. Half a year ago. In my life, u are all worthless. Ur not on my level. Im nice, so i didnt kick u out, and i dont like change or goodbyes. But i need to just move on from u. I need to just be who i am, with out loser guys around me. Im so much better than that. I still want the nice guy. Not the slick guy, not the loser cant wake up in the morning, not the complainer. Just get the fuck away from me. Stop talking to me. Move the fuck on, let me go. U had ur shot. U missed it. Now stop talking to me.

Most people who go to college for education want to teach elemary or highschool kids. Lots of people around me like these ages. I think my issue is that i have no respect for them. The lack of respect causes my lack of patience. I dont respect teenagers. To me, theyre idiots. Theres no bigger idiot in the world than a teen, myself at 15 included. Everything is drama u cant figure out, its all the end of the wirld, ur the stupidest, most ugly, worst self esteemed individual, and everyone is like that. U have oily hair, teeth that dont make sense or hurt, ur either the annoying one who needs to be in every picture, or ur the one who thinks ur so cool and cant he in any picture. I hated people when i was that age, why would i want to be around that again. I like old people.

The amount of times my hearing was mistaken this holiday with a loud family that never let's something funny slide, we can all do like guitar riffs with it at each other

In my family we all know how to jam out to guitar riffs but with jokes. We are all loud and all of us have humor that can go from dark, to old jewish. But because its like a guitar riff jam, everyone literally collaberates to a "stand up set" improve style until everyone laughs so hard they're tearing up. That's a normal weekend in my family.

A yom tov where my family is together means putting a bunch of people with loud personalities who all have a sense of humor to the extreme where everything can be funny. Like ive been with some families where u need to be obnoxious, or a health freak, or deal with the weird uncle who drunk and talking nonsense but theyre assuring u that he is actually very smart (which is like when people say their weed is "the good stuff", it never is. When they tell u he is "very smart", he isn't). In my family, u need a sense of humor that can match everyone. We ll have different ways that we're funny-im the most made fun of between everyone and im almost non offendable, and i make it funnier.

what i learned about ppl who sell weed- if they tell u its high quality, it never is.

Like how in some families, u need to be vegetarian or obnoxious to make it, at my house u need a sense of humor and to be

I cry way more then i used to. Usually when im emotional. I was never a cry at movies or books or songs kind of person. I knew my grandmother as that person. Everything made her cry. And after i accomplished lots of healing, breaking cycles, letting go of unhealthy relationships, therapy, throwing myself into learning new skills even when it was more boring than a crazy night. I really thought id never feel happy again. I was so numb yet emotionally raw at the same time. I thought boring normal relationships or doing things where i wasnt almost dying, never knew how the night would go so took a toothbrush life. That was what my life became. And in my own time, through my own decisions, i gave therapy a shot. And i still didnt think id ever be happy with normal. I threw myself into learning guitar. It was always something i was interested in, from elementary school, someone brought one and played and i was in awe of it. Kind of like i was in awe of someone speaking hebrew which i also learned.

Im just proud that i chose life. After a long time of choosing death. This year, i chose life. This next year, i want to choose life too.

This year i want to choose life.

I want to be fully committed to myself, being guided by halacha.

I will choose life.

I will get a job that feeds my passions.

I will have enough money to live and extra to give and live nicely.

I will battle each day that the demons show up. I will fight to live a healthy boring life.

In my life right now, healthy doesnt mean eating salads everyday. It doesn't mean going to the gym. It doesn't mean counting calories, or being a runner, or owning a stanley cup thing. Healthy means

I had to learn this:

Treat people according to who u r, not according to who they r.

[wandering-doves]

11.08.2024

i know it’s been a while.

i’ve been all over the place emotionally, putting on weight (which i’m very unhappy about), and just adjusting to my saturn return period. i’ve already hit two important days and have two or three more to go.

i’ve been getting into anime. i just finished watching s2 of jujutsu kaisen and it has absolutely ripped my heart out. i am in mourning for my favourite character’s. it does make me want to get into the manga though, whether i read it online or purchase them. i’m motivated to do either once quickly bc i keep getting spoilers of the manga and normally that doesn’t bother me but there is so much death of well-loved characters in this series and i’m experiencing the losses prematurely and it's too much right now. and gege - you will be hearing from my lawyers, as i'm suing for emotional distress!

my siblings have suggested i get into demon slayer. they believe i’ll really like it. while i’m not sure what it’s about, i can take a guess based on the title. i don’t know if this show will have quite as much loss as jjk but i’m not emotionally ready for it yet. instead i started watching a cute little romance anime called from me to you. it has 3 seasons and seems really sweet so far. i think this one will be good for me.

i still haven't heard from the guy on tumblr but i know he's been online, bc his blog name has changed. i thought about reaching out again but if he didnt reply to my last message, what makes me think he'll reply to this one. it's time to cut my losses and just move one from him.

i will say that each an every time i am rejected or ghosted by a man, it does some serious damage to my ego and confidence. i don't feel like i am an ugly person, physically or otherwise, but i do feel that how i look plays a major role in why i'm still single. i'm overweight and always have been. and then if someone can see past how i look, my inability to open up to people shoots me in the foot. i'm very protective of my thoughts and feelings and i dont know if that has anything to do with the fact that as a child i felt so unseen and unheard [which if you knew me as a child, you would probably be confused by that statement bc i'm a sagittarius sun/rising. even if i don't mean to, i can command the attention.]

anyway, i've been playing chihiro, wildflower and champagne coast on repeat just to feel something, after watching the love of my life die on screen.

and that's another thing. the way that Nanami is literally my perfect man drives me insane. I know that bitch may be the most straight-laced, no-nonsense person in existence but he was also sweet and loving and kind and wanted to help others and was a father figure to Yuji and he just wanted to relax on the beach in Malaysia, have a little house there where he could spend time reading 😭😭😭my selfless king, you will be missed!!

anyway, it's just after 1am now so i should probably go to bed.

[twildflower]

watching build fighters oh my fucking god i love my boys so much

fucnin yapping again guys i think i might have adhd

why the hell do i keep saying guys. i nedd hep i need to be killed

i miss them so much theyre so silly i am sooooooo ajhdgfshfga this is so much nostalgia im aghgfhgsgkjfhakfhajkhdsjh and just episode one too i cant think how hype id get watching finale itll be so fucking awesome I LOVEEEE BUILD FIGHTER my fav gundam show.... mercury is second i guess i only watched mercury and i think its iron blood or whatever its called in eng im not even sure if its gundam lol but anyway i love sei and reiji theyre actually sooo damn <3333 i think they were the first two guys i ship together bc theyre actually so gay even tho reiji has a gf or whatever its like one of the first pieces of media i consumed and didnt just like whichever main ship the plot has... yea iirc. i think theres mainly only jp twinkle n shugo chara before build fighters but then i went back to main ship in pokemon xy and macross delta lmao... shits awesome tho i think im cool and like whatever i like i love sei so much hes so adorable and reiji is so cool and theyre blue and red theyre so made for each other like ahhghdgfsjgfhsgfisgfjgfjdghsuifguiwdg i think i mightve gave myself way too much adraline its fuckin 430 am and i wanted to cut my hair a bit tmr agh damn. i guess i could stay up the night and binge....hehe....... was watching horizons too i love horizons a lot i really dont mind ash not being protag anymore but the fact that they ended with him looking like a fuckin ugly ass idiot that looks even worse than gen 1 ash tho..... i have beef with only that fact bc like fuck you man i hate whoever the fuck made that artstyle after xyz with a passion i think tney deserve to go to hell. the fact that its a downgrade from gen1 is crazy. i dont hate that artsyle but i hate the way ash is drawn in that artysle like most other people look okay but the past travel companions and ash look fucking shit and i think theyre doing it on purpose and i fucking HATE THEM

ermm back to gunpla hehe its 6 am im so tired im gonna sleep em anyway i love them soso much damn id so build a gunpla of their moedel in the episdoe.... yknow my dad used to record the edpisodes when they played on tv and idk was it a bug or there wasnt enough space anymore so he deleted all the episodes excepgt the las one or maybe seocnd last im not sure but anyway we kept rewatching it every now and then and go feral over how awesone it was it was the best endin episode i wached when i was a kid like shugo chara i didnt watch or they didnt play till like season 2/3 i think the wedding dress end and all that shit was crazy but the only other thing i watched was jewelpet and it was like not as crazy as this one i like it alot but build fighters was a lot more visually and emotionallly stunning lollll

i think if i had to choose a best ending for all the stuff i watched itd still be xyz tbh that shit was stunning and so. urgh. my heart. i get. so much agsjhahlf. its just so good. peaked tbh. then itd probably be build fighters tbh like idk man. delta was like. cool. very cool. but like. idk. build fighters either is more nostalgic or whatever it just appeals to me more than macross. it would be third tho. i think it is. then itd be shugo and then twinkle. these are like. the main stuff i have really core memorty w lmao. yeh i uess this is it. gn im so eepy

last edit lol i didnt remember the uhhh handsome guy being just a guy that also liked gunpla a lot at the start lmaooo i just remember him being a bad guy turned good at the end w everyone to help destory the crystal........aghhhh i loveeeeee build fighters sm.....

oh yeah i guess i did watch brs too. black rock would like. hm. be at the bottom tho bc..idk. i dont have too fond memory and i like my stuff better i have my prioritys lmaooo.. hm. yeah now i really dont rmb anything i just remembered brs bc the blacckkk rockkkk shooooterrrrr is just ringing in my head its such a good song owo

[hirokari]

dreamies when a pervert gets a little too close

You'd invited your friends to a quick café run, but soon regret it when a creep gets a little too close when you're alone.

･ﾟ✧ MARK

at first assumes its one of your friends

soon realizes its not by your body language

panicking because he's still ordering his drink

"um, i'll have an americano, thank you. nokeepthechangeiminarush."

intends to casually jog towards you, but accidentally sprints

"Y/N! is this a friend?"

hands are automatically on your shoulders

"i dont like this friend- no offense. wait, no yeah, you should take offense, yeah."

deadpans when creep doesn't take the hint

"dude, go away, will you?"

is more relieved than you when mr. creep finally takes off

"has that happened before? you can talk to me about it, yeah?"

･ﾟ✧ RENJUN

notices almost immediately

seems collected, but is boiling inside

quickly walks up to you, grabbing your hand

"Y/N! are drinks are ready, come lets go get them."

glares when creep tries following

"excuse me? i dont think we know you- you were talking to them? no, you i dont think you were. goodbye!"

is almost giddy at the fact that you trust him enough to take his hand

asks if you're okay the moment you lose mr. creep

"call me the next time that happens, okay? i wont let them touch you."

･ﾟ✧ DONGHYUCK

is the one to draw most attention

gasps loudly when he spots mr. creep's hands on your shoulder

cancels his orders and walks away with no apologies

oh gosh mr. creep's hand is on your hip- oh no its not. lee donghyuck just kicked it off

"who the fuck-"

"that's my fucking line, you bastard! tell me, would you like to leave with your own two feet or should i throw your perverted ass out the window?"

ooo everyone's watching

doesnt leave your side for the next two days

"he was ugly anyway. fret not, call me when you need someone's ass kicked."

･ﾟ✧ JAEMIN

has unfortunately dealt with creeps a lot

freezes when he sees mr. creep attempting to get closer.

walks from the counter without a word, the confused employee watches

"hey, hands off."

glaring intensifies when bastard decides not to

"seriously, i am this close to breaking your nose."

as much as you don't want that to happen-- you want that to happen

bastard gives him the oh-so-benefit of the doubt

at the end of the day, you miss your classes, jaemin rainchecks on his plans, and you're in the police department.

"hey, there's no need to apologize. if anything, i should be saying sorry."

･ﾟ✧ JENO

seems innocent but whoo creep boutta get fucked up

manages to hold both your drinks in one hand

puffs his chest out and flexes his arms

intimidating squints

no words, warps an arm around you and walks away

is glad you're on the same page and walk with him

"hey! that's my property!"

"WOW ARE THEY? SINCE WHEN DID PERVERTS LIKE YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO OBJECTIFY SOMEONE WHO IS CLEARLY UNCOMFORTABLE JUST BEING AROUND YOU?"

wow, he thinks. did i pull a karen? was that too karen of me?

after walking a minute in silence, you laugh a little, remembering the horrified face the bastard had on his face

"what why are you laughing? are you alright? he didn't drug you or anything, right?"

･ﾟ✧ CHENLE

a prepared king

handles the situation like a champ

is already by your side because he'd noticed the guy eyeing you the moment you two came in

"don't panic, there's a fugly rat staring at you 7 o' clock."

is actually surprised he's approaching you two

"hi, are you taken?"

chenle feigns, the audacity

"um, im literally right here. please, if you would, stop hitting on my partner."

"you're their partner? you don't look it,"

"dude, you don't either, but here you are hitting on them. please, leave."

mr. creep gives up with a reluctant glare, and chenle scoffs, patting your shoulder where the man had touched as if it were dirty

"these perverts have no shame these days. when that happens again, you should try these tricks:"

･ﾟ✧ JISUNG

stern and stubborn

unconsciously puffs his cheeks out because he's pissed

manages to stay calm at the cashier and while walking to you

seems you've already mentioned him, because you're pointing and shuffling towards him

wow what a height difference

"this is the friend i'm out with," he smiles-- maybe a little sarcastically-- when you mention him

"...this is a kid."

"you're shaped like a kid. donttouchthem." he guards your arm with his

"oh look, our drinks are ready."

"mind if i tag along?"

"god, yes, we mind. we mind a mindful. please go away."

huffs with his whole chest when mr. creep finally walks away

"im sorry, ignorant bastards like him get on my nerves. you're okay, though, right?"

hirokari, 2021

[be-better-then-yesterday-you]

i just …. i couldnt understand the red, yellow and orange heart then i started looking back at past buddie scenes and i fucking wanted to cry!!!! am i the only person who never FULLY grasped how often some shade of the colors red and yellow are used in buddie scenes?! like i noticed it but i never …. NOTICED it! and it gets more intense and obvious as the seasons go on …. clothes, background lighting, set props - balloons …. since like … day one … if they slowly start transitioning to orange guys …. im gonna die …. like full stop, stop breathing because ….. we’ve all been burned too many times by shows …. and it scared me to get my hopes up …

how sad is that? its 2022 and people are still afraid to show two MALE main characters as more then just “special friends” …. how 1950’s is that phrase? they try to make it sound “modern and inclusive” by saying that they’re trying to show how families come in all forms - which is true! accept that that includes gay men as well! I remember reading an interview that … i think it was rafael silva … im not sure … i dont watch lonestar so it was an article i read by accident …. it might have been ronen rubinstien (correct me if i spelled that wrong - also let me know if you know who the it was((it was rafael silva!! thank you @idealuk !!)) ) … anyway in the interview he was talking about how before filming he watched 911 and saw buck and eddie and thought they were a couple and he was surprised because he thought to himself - oh they already have a gay couple in this series - i wonder why they want another one? …. i think that says SO MUCH about the television industry …. for it to be surprising to an actor for there to be more then one gay couple on a show - or series - whatever …. is just …. horribly sad to me.

and the movie industry is SO much worse …. how often do we see male gay couple in movies as more then just background characters who are mostly used as comic relief? or shown in unrealistic forms? usually in pastel colors living in suburbia, all smiles and “perfect relationship”, overly flamboyant or them trying to depict the stereotypical male/female roles. that or they’re used for shock value - look how outrageous and overly sexual they are … or to show how great the straight are - where they randomly drop the fact that they have a boyfriend or husband - for the straight main character to either pause in awkward surprise for a moment to then smile and be “cool with it” or to automatically go along with it without pause - still showing how “cool with it” they are …

im getting off tack lol … in television its a bit more common to see two main character women in a relationship - a BIT …. and thats because two women is considered sexy to even the most homophobic of men - whereas two men - when done on tv, is considered “edgy” or so great for showing “different” kinds of love, or for really pushing the boundaries …. but even then its still rare for television shows to show two men in a REAL relationship … where its beautiful and ugly, fights and making up and just … being in real love with one another. and i think that 911 has a real problem with writing same sex couples…. the original 911 obviously - not Lonestar which i think is an entirely different set of writers - correct me if im wrong there…. i think that the Hen/Karen relationship is beautifully done - when its done. its REAL … its beautiful and ugly … trust and fear and betrayal and forgiveness … its real. but again that is - when its done. compared to the other relationships on the show …. how often do we actually see Hen and Karens relationship for more then a few minutes? or as more then just a coming home scene after a hard day? …. only when its special, Hen heavy episodes. but the other couples …. they’re in EVERY episode …. excluding the last season without Chim and Maddie…. even Buck and Taylor received more of a storyline and screentime the the day one Hen and Karen …. but this thing with Buck and Eddie …. a relationship that has been “all in” intensity since episode one … and has ALL of the things that Hen and Karen do - thats a “different kind of family” a “special kind of friendship” … and i keep thinking … where have i heard those buzzwords before? oh right… supernatural.

supernatural broke so many peoples hearts … because they straight up USED their fans. not the actors - the actors have went out of their way to show just how much they were on the same side as the fans … but the showrunners … the producers and writers and the NETWORK all capitalized off of destiel, used their fans to keep the money coming in and then when it was over - when they had their last chance to do something that nobody has had the guts to do - show two previously before seen straight male best friends admit to having fallen in love with one another … they pretty much spit and then laughed in their fans face … and then called it real - that sometimes that happens - one person feels something the other cant …. despite having shown for ten years that the complete opposite was true … i watched supernatural from the very first episode to the very last - hoping for some kind of redemption for a show i LOVED up to the very last moment . but now i cant even bare to see gifs of it because it hurts … and i know im not alone in that.

i think that if 911 goes down that route …. if they keep building up to something that they know they arent going to follow through on … if they throw these two men into yet another straight “normal” relationship - because thats the opposite of “different” right? “normal” ? ugh … now i want to vomit for another reason completely …. stupid supernatural and cw … if they do throw them into new straight relationships … i think that will be it for ALOT of fans … not all … because there are fans who arent there for buddie and there are fans who will stick it out until the very last moment, hoping …. but there will be a considerable amount of fans who will feel betrayed and used again …

in regards to the color of the heart … idont know if it actually means something or if its all in my head but either way …. i do believe that families come in all forms and so do friendships and love … but i dont believe that the buck/eddie relationship is one of them … i dont know … ok … end of rant. ❤️💛🧡

[pwnyta]

I will respectfully disagree with you about the uniforms from SwSh… I like that all the gym leaders have a similar theme going for them, and I just in general feel like it’s harder to fuck up with this sporty kind of clothes. Don’t get me wrong, I like a lot of designs in the pokemon games, but the problem is… designs are either a banger or a an absolute DISASTER imo.

And I feel like SwSh was able to avoid it by giving characters similar outfits (but with some elements that give characters personality + ppl’s casual outfits ACTUALLY look good).

Like, I also feel that it makes sense for the GYM leaders to wear a sport uniform, you know?

Also, I want to disagree with you and anon who was talking about Marnie’s uniform… I mean, it’s fine? As a person who is constantly covering myself with a lot of clothes IRL, I believe her outfit looks okay, really. Then again, I just feel in general that I am favorable towards SwSh designs bc I DO believe that it’s hard to fuck them up, while Arceus… I mean, Irida looks horrid (and I feel bad saying this, but she DOES look like a horribly designed oc), there is prof Laventon (and I can’t get over his fucking ugly ass hat), another dude with purple long hairs (idk his name, but he have a pretty modern outfit for this era), and then there is Volo… which he is fine, but then by the end of the game we see a little more of his design (esp hair style) and it looks kind of wack… and that is only the most recent game. I can find a lot of things like this in the other pokemon games design wise, but I really can’t think about something like this when it comes to SwSh… even Leon have grown on me lol

Tbh I might be biased bc I really like some characters from SwSh personality wise, or maybe bc I’ve grown attached to game just in general (don’t get me wrong, the game itself have A LOT of problems lmao), but like… I feel that gym theme in SwSh is not THAT bad 🤣🤣🤣 it might be that after several years I’m just too used to them, but I’ve seen some of the characters from SwSh in the pokemon journeys (it’s a new season of the anime) and I kind have grown even more attached? Honestly I like their sport casual (is that how you call it lol?) style

What kind of argument is that?! Its better that theyre all bad to mediocre than maybe some sucking? Looking at all all the gym leaders before SwSh I cant see a single one bad enough for that kind of mindset! Maybe the cowboy guy from Unova.. but even thats BRIMMING with character!

How does it make sense... theyre not on a team and arent even doing the sports that are typical of the uniform(which theyre essentially wearing soccer uniforms).

Again I point of 'its fine' sure... Its fine that Marnies gym uniform is lame and boring and doesnt show her character the way her standard outfit does. Marnie having two main outfits is a great illustrator of my point- her standard outfit with her pink dress with the oversized leather jacket and boots tells us that she is a sweet girl following in her punk brothers footsteps her uniform, says nothing except maybe? shes a dark type trainer... but the other gym leaders dont have a standard outfit so all they have is a uniform that vaguely tells of what element type they train.

Milo is adorable, his big ol hat and his tiny buff body would look better if he was wearing something that fit his shepherd/farmer/gardener jobs... hes not even serious about being a gym leader! Nessa is a model and all she gets to wear in game is a dumb bikini. She still looks cute and she has her card that shows her in a pretty dress... but it could be better. Showing her off as a model and a swimmer as well as a water trainer. Opals jersey dress? Gross. Shes supposed to be this old fancy rich lady! Piers fucking hates his job as gym leader and has some terrific design elements and is most effected by needing to wear a dumb sports uniform. His hair and jacket and boots look like the start of something great and then hes wearing that dumb outfit. MOCK-UP!!

Irida does look terrible and the professor looks dumb in his stupid hat but over all the notable characters look great. The only thing holding the Wardens back (im guessing the 'wardens' are like gym leaders. I dont play the game.) is that theyre all also kind of wearing uniforms... and even their uniforms are better looking than the dumb soccer uniforms. And Volo is also wearing a uniform!

The SwSh gym leaders personality-wise are great and their faces/hair with their stand out accessories are also great but their designs are hampered by them all wearing shorts and jerseys for sports they are not playing and have nothing to do with their characters save Nessa.... and maybe Bea but even they would look cooler if they could deviate from short shorts and sports top.

It must be the familiarity youre feeling if youre defending Leon whos, neck down, an absolute objective hot mess .

[matchamabs]

I know you didn’t ask for it but- BOTW MONSTERS: RANKED BY HOW HOT THEY ARE,,,,

i do fuck all in the days lemme tell ya

ill admit i havent done EVERY enemy but like. i do enjoy making these posts so who knows, i might actually rank everything sooner or later 🤷‍♀️

,,,,, and if u want a specific ranking of botw/aoc stuff lmk 👀

ahh the ol reliable. the classic bokoblin. he is just a little lad! unfortunately they’re genuinely kind of ugly??? and the idk the singular horn in the middle aint a good look. i see cute comics abt these guys being domestic and thats adorable but also giving them so much leeway bc they’re really Not that cute. not sure what the loincloth is hiding and im not sure i wanna know anyway. 3/10 really kind of. not good. 

slightly bigger loincloth only means slightly bigger things to hide :( i rlly hate these guys noses and whatever the fuck toenails they have why do they have toenails?????? s’bad. the thing is tho they have the proportions of a potentially attractive gerudo which is probably what takes the edge off the general vibes of... u know... being an abomination. its also only JUST occured to me as im writing that these guys r just evolved bokoblins so. glow up i guess. 6/10 what that tongue do

ok bypassing whatever the fuck rule 34 has done to these guys, i actually dig them. i find the huge fat ones way cuter than the lil bug eyed ones. in their case theres rlly no, like... hotness about them. its just cute. i think they’re cute. any monster that is cute and also doubles up as a bed gets my vote 7/10 get urself a fella as flexible as these guys 

u know what, im gonna say it, these guys r actually kinda hot. proportions arent super bad, the face aint bad and generally they have good vibes. aside from, u know, when they’re tryna shank u. id say one of the most bearable monsters to have to look at. 8/10 im not a scalie

??????????? idk what to say. u could tie these little shits to like swingball poles and beat them with rackets thatd b good. aside from that these guys have like no redeeming qualities. they’re a pain in the ass and not in a good way. 3/10 cute but like. is it worth it?

i mean,,,,,,,, someones probably into it. i dont like these guys for a lot of reason and surprisingly the thing that gets me is the fucking hair why does it have that hair its like he-man just went straight over the top with an electric razor its not a good look!!! stop trying to make it work! it wont! and again with the loincloth??? im not into it. the only thing i like abt these guys is the lil waistcoats. they have some amount of decency (but the implications it makes are Not Good). uh. 2/10. barely.

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

,,,,,9/10. but if you see a lynel up close like that chances are you died about half a minute ago

again. ??? i dont rlly like. i mean. im digging the top heavy proportions? its got the same body type as kass so like. 4/10. bit plain around the features but what can u do. i dont understand how but the igneo taluses are like. sexier 

UGHGHHH I FUCKING HATE THESE THINGS okay okay okay like these motherfuckers lure u in by being quite cute and dancin around and then u get a look at their faces and its like fucking JESUS and its even WORSE when you see under their cloak and they have no necks????? and like????? they do that gay little fucking dance that pisses me off???? they’re wearing hoods that give the ILLUSION that they have necks and im im fumin ok i HATE it i hate it i have been betrayed and i will NEVER FORGET ABOUT IT UGHGHGHG I HATE THESE CUNTS -10000000000000000000000000000000000/10 die

hhhhh i just dont like em. theyre too annoying to be cute now. and whats gonna happen if i squeeze one? is like. water gonna come out? r they just gonna deflate? 4/10 tentacles are not hyrules forte it seems ://

trust kohga to send the twinks out on the front line. seriously. they’re not bad tho? kinda small and underwhelming :((( tho i give extra points for the good crazy laugh we love a good manic cackle 6/10 they dont really count as monsters but ah well where else am i gonna put em

now THATS what im talkin about babeyyyyy we love the muscles,,,,, the posture,,, the stride,,, we love it when u fuck up stealth and a torrential downpour of these motherfuckers come down to beat ur ass,,,,, 9/10 its raining men 😎

u know. u dont rlly like. get a good view of these guys when ur balls deep in a battle with them, but the more i get like closer looks at them the more i go ???? like idk. everything about them looks backwards and wrong. but as far as backwards and wrong goes its not a bad look and the boss theme is a banger so 4/10 maybe dont jump on my ass every time i step one foot onto the desert :/

i just. i dont dig it. idk why. aside from the fact they’re a monumental pain in my ass, and now everytime i hear a beep even slightly resembling a guardian i shit my pants, but. idk??? as far as robots go its not like. terrible. they’re like the milfs of robots. the milves, if u will. a rilf. except i wouldnt. so its more like riwlf. but even that leaves too much up to interpretation so im just gonna call em a cunt and go. 4/10 leg game strong

here we are,,, the big boys,,,, waterblight isnt too bad i will admit, but the spear hand is both annoying and mildly inconvenient. its got a rlly big chest but rlly thin arms?? also not sure how i feel abt the strap on beard but oh well its not like ganons got taste. 5/10 kind of average for a blight i think

a hefty motherfucker. a chunk of a lad. big large. the fact this is like one of the easiest blights makes it more forgiveable to me but like whatever its got going on with the 80s hair needs 2 be sorted out. i like its moves but it doesnt hang upside down like waterblight :((( 5/10 calm down kate bush

ok who doesnt like gun arms. and a gun back. this things like fuckin megatron. the whole face plate thing doesnt look bad either. honestly its kind of a look? but its dickheadery in aoc makes me wanna set shit on fire so :// 6/10 hot but will not leave u alone 😔

ok this one is by FAR the sexiest of all the blights. i just cant explain it. i like guys with bad posture. i had an easy time beating it but apparently its given other people a lot of grief and that makes it 10x more sexy to me lmaooo. also it can clone itself which is like. thats a win. 8/10 ganon spilt all the sexy juice into this one

ok i didnt realise how many arms this motherfucker has and the whole hairline behind the ears thing is not a great look. especially w the beard. in fact the longer i look at it the less sexy it becomes tbh. 3/10 they tried to make arachnophobia sexy and it didnt work

10/10 i will be taking questions in my inbox but i wont be taking constructive criticism and you cant make me 

[heyitsyn]

Manager!Seijoh Part 3

a/n: yall i love seijoh so much like theyre my favorite school and my favorite boys and i know their names by heart and im just so SOFT for them !!!!!

also: yall will find out what other fandom ill be writing for in the future in this one

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

combined two anon requests:

- Could we get the boys reacting to finding out the seijoh manager is quite popular to both genders?? Maybe they over hear a confession?

- Why do I feel like half of the team would be all pouty when word comes around that a guy confessed to manager, the others would probably be annoyed/irritated. Oikawa being all bratty cause no matter what he tried,she never showed ant interest when he flirts. But now this boy comes alone ... (but like you said manager is too focused in school and the team)

MY HEART WAS RIPPED OUT OF MY CHEST AND THROWN INTO A BLENDER WHEN I SAW THIS PART OR JUST WHEN SEIJOH LOST IN GENERAL BC MY BABIES WORKED SO HARD AAAAAAA

oof girl the world is ending

so basically,,,,,

the entire just magically knew about what happened earlier and yahaba’s theory of team telepathy really does work bc not even a minute after it happened, they all spammed you messages and next thing you knew, oikawa was naruto-ing down from the 3rd floor to your class in the first floor

tbh, they shouldve seen this coming yanno?

you were ridiculously pretty and you carried yourself w such elegance and grace that it just seemed to hypnotize everyone into stopping what they were doing and watched you in awe doing the most mundane things like walking or sitting

lmao couldnt be me

your confessions usually happened over letters bc either tol boys kunimi or kindaichi are usually around you at all times so theyre too scared to do anything

hence why your locker was always filled with envelopes yet no upfront public confessions

it ranged from upperclassmen and upperclasswomen who expressed their interest in you and wanted to date you and get to know you better

but tf you dont even know them and you werent about to date a whole stranger

this made the boys a little peeved because you were popular with both the boys and the gals so they were constantly on edge on who was talking to you

it was like having an oikawa 2.0 but not indulging them and pretending theyre not even there

like when you walk to class and sit down, they would flock over and offer you drinks and snacks but you either turned them down or just flat-out ignored them

maybe this was what fueled others on more

your reserved attitude and your refusals made it look like you were playing hard to get and it was almost like a game on who could win the heart of the princess of seijoh

this was proven really difficult because not only do they have your dismissals, you also had guard dogs at every corner and would bite their head off at the slight indication of an interaction

however,,,,

today,,,

this morning,,,,

at 7:53 AM,,,,

they saw you walking down the hallway with a purple-haired boy holding your bag and you giggling at what he was saying

um EXCUSE ME MAAM WHAT

EVERYONE HAS BEEN TRYING TO GAIN YOUR AFFECTIONS FOR MONTHS YET YOU ARE HERE INTERACTING WITH A MALE WHO NO ONE EVEN KNOWS

ESPECIALLY SINCE HE WAS A MALE WHO WAS STANDING RIGHT THERE RIGHT NEXT TO YOU AND HE WASNT A MEMBER OF THE TEAM

!!!!!

and ofc, the boys would immediately know even though theyre spread all over the school

it was kyoken who saw you as he was leaning against your locker and his eyes narrowed before he secretly took a picture and sent it to yahaba, asking if there was a new guy who entered the team while he was away

when he replied with a panicked, ‘NO WHO IS THAT’

kyoken was already advancing to you

yahaba-san immediately sent the picture to the team group chat, that excluded you rood, and oikawa wasted no time and even pushed some fangirls so he could go to you

‘-and she destroyed my sheets’

you laughed at the story and hitoshi stared at you with awe in his eyes

how can someone laugh so beautifully?

like a snort should be considered ugly and gross but it was like cute little squeaks from you and he thought you were like a fairy

‘oh god, i wasnt-’

you were cut off with a hand that held your arm

you came face to face with the glaring face of one of your boys and you immediately turned to him in concern, immediately grasping an arm with the other hand on his cheek to look for any cuts

he rarely comes to you on a normal basis so you thought something was wrong

‘whats wrong, kyo-san? did you get into a fight? do you need me to patch you up?’

he didnt care what you were saying, instead heatedly glaring at this new guy, and grunted a response to agreeing with you going to the nurse

just anywhere to get you away from this,,,, stranger

‘toshi i have to-’

then you were cut off again

‘YYYYY/NNNNNNN-CHHHHHAAAANNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!’

‘OI SHITTYKAWA!’

‘OIKAWA-SAN!’

‘OIKAWA!’

‘CAPTAIN!’

from behind you, 5 tol looming figures were running towards you and next thing you knew, you were in the arms of your captain

‘oikawa-san! what are you doing?!’

oikawa held you tightly against his chest and had his arms tightly around your form to prevent you from being taken away

most of the volleyball team were now circling you and pointedly glaring at the poor boy who was so confused that he wasnt bothered by the death glares

‘oh, its you’

kunimi grumbled

‘kunimi, whats happening?’

hitoshi questioned

you fought away from the hold of oikawa and pushed mattsukawa and hanamaki to stand in front of shinsou hitoshi

‘so sorry about this, toshi. i’ll help you with your room later and ill text you when practice is finished, okay?’

you sheepishly smiled and he nodded, his own smile reassuring you

‘yep. ill see you later then’

‘bye’

you softly said and he turned to walk away

but as soon as he was out of sight, you turned around with a grim looking expression and your hands on your hips, a hard look in your eyes

‘boys, what was that?’

you gritted out

‘y/n-chan! don’t you see?! he was going to take you away! he was an intrude-OW!’

he yelped when you reached up and grabbed his ear before grabbing the other closest who was iwaizumi

they both whined and complained about the ear and slapped your hand but you didnt let up

‘he is a friend, oikawa-san. you have no right on who i can be friends and who i can hang out with because i still have a life outside the team!’

you scolded and the others hung their heads low like puppies

‘sorry, y/n-chan’

oikawa mumbled and iwaizumi also mumbled his apology so you let go of them, dusting off your hands

‘and the rest of you, hold back your captain and dont intimidate him like that!’

‘sorry’

you sighed but ruffled their hair before turning to go to class

‘now, be good boys and dont bother others like this again’

‘yes’

they chorused and you nodded, satisfied

‘ill hold you to it!’

you shouted as you walked down the hallway

when you turned a corner, oikawa grabbed kunimi by the arms

‘you know him, dont you? who is he? what class? address? mother’s name? father’s name? age-’

‘oi stop it, shittykawa’

but despite that, iwaizumi looked at the younger, expecting answers as well

kunimi sighed

‘thats shinsou hitoshi from class 1-3. we have gym together’

and ‘we’ was kunimi and you since you were both in the same class so you constantly saw this shinsou boy?

nuh uh, dont think so, francisco

from the looks of it, you were still single and there was a pining from shinso’s part, maybe yours they dont know

and they were going to do everything in their power to keep you away from him

this was excused to them as protecting their manager from someone else and they werent going to let you be taken by someone else

during practice, they grilled you over your relationship with him

‘i honestly dont know why this is your business but if you must know, his adoptive father, aizawa-san, is my mother’s co-worker and i usually catsit for them. dont worry, we’re not dating. just friends, that’s all’

but they know it wasnt just a friendship type of situation

so when the 4 third years saw you being confessed to by this ‘friend’ outside, they almost toppled out the window as they tried to listen to what was being said

‘shittykawa get off my back!’

‘nuh uh! i want to see clearly!’

‘everyone needs to know that code red is happening!’

yall what

mattsun took a picture and sent it to the gc about their princess being confessed to 

no one replied, possibly too upset or too busy sulking

kyoken actually had to be excused outside bc he was glaring at everyone and everything and the teacher and students were so scared that they had to take him out of class

they were even more peeved when you just walked in like nothing happened

you didnt mention the confession to anyone else the whole day and when you entered the gym, it was very tense

the coaches even looked confused

‘did you guys fight?’

you questioned but no one answered

kunimi and kindaichi were playing with a ball and glaring at it as it hit the floor

the 2nd years yes including kyobabie were pouting to the side

the 3rd years looked annoyed and pissed off 

overall just not seijoh babie vibes

i am uncomfortable with the energy we have created in the gym today🧚✨

‘hey’

you gently said and walked to the captain to figure out what was going on

‘oikawa-san, what happened?’

‘are you dating him now, y/n?’

the seriousness in his voice shocked you and you took a step back in surprise

your expression made him think that you did accept the confession and he scoffed before walking away and doing a jump serve that sounded like a canon blasting

but you were actually confused and surprised that they even knew bc you were sure it was a secluded area where no one could see you

‘dating,,,? dating who?’

you asked to them and the 3rd years just knitted their eyebrows

‘dont play coy, y/n-chan’

oikawa hissed

‘no matter how many times i flirted or asked you on dates, you never said yes. never agreed or even showed a little bit of interest. on me!! your captain!!! but now!!! this little grape boy comes along and you suddenly start dating just because he has cats! what kinda bias is this?!’

he started ranting and whining and being a brat that you pinched his nose shut

‘oi, oikawa-san, are you jumping to conclusions again? first the hickey accident and now this?’

he made a whining noise for you to let go and rubbed his nose when you finally let go

you turned around to face the others and you sighed, massaging your temples

‘everyone, who spread this misunderstanding?’

no one pointed to anyone but their gazes settled on the thick eyebrow boy that you were sure wouldnt have ratted you out

a noise of surprise and betrayal escaped from you as mattsun quickly scrambled to get everyone to stop staring at him

‘MATTSUN-SAN! YOU-!’

you pointed at him and mattsun rushed forward to grab your hands before holding them close to his chest

‘y/n-chan, we just saw you when we were passing! it was makki who wanted to tell the others!’

the betrayal made iwa laugh but makki ran up to kick mattsun to the side

‘youre the one who committed the deed! i was merely suggesting it! it was iwaizumi who wanted to watch them first!’

‘IWA-SAN!’

you gasped at the normally chill third year and you didnt expect him to be the one who started it first

iwa panicked and held his hands out cautiously

‘y/n-chan, understand that i was just worried and i didnt want you to be outside by yourself after what happened, okay? i didnt know he was confessing to you’

you closed your eyes and pinched the bridge of your nose tightly

‘again! whoever and whatever happens in my love life is my business! mine! and only mine! you cannot control it and get angry at ME because i do want a boyfriend and i do want to experience dating bc i want to know how it feels to be loved like that! so i wont let a bunch of children stop me from having that!’

the third years shared a look before they they gave up and nodded in defeat

but oikawa was the most offended

‘Y/N-CHAN! I ASK YOU ON DATES ALL THE TIME AND I ALWAYS OFFER TO GIVE YOU THAT LOVE SO WHY CAN’T IT BE ME?! WHAT DOES THAT GRAPE HUMANOID HAVE THAT I DONT?!’

he whined and stomped his foot after crossing his arms and a pout on his face

you shook your head, not even bothering to answer that, and went to the others

‘dont be mad and be upset, okay? i refused him bc i have no time for a relationship when im too busy looking after my own boys. i really dont want to add another’

kindaichi and yahaba’s face scrunched as they rushed forward to hug you 

‘we thought you would leave us y/n-chan!’

‘stay as ours forever, okay?’

you were so relieved that they werent as aggressive as the oldests and gave each player their own favorite hugs

but you stopped in front of kyo, not really knowing how to hug him since youve never exactly showed any type of affection like that

so you were just awkwardly standing there with raised arms but he patted your head, you smiling and leaning more to his touch

‘hm, kyo-san, ya finally warming up to me?’

you teased but he scoffed, gently headbutting you with his forehead against yours

‘now, everyone! dont misunderstand and know that for as long as i will be a manager, i wont be in a relationship bc my time as a manager is too crucial since i would probably have to look after you so you dont get yourself to jail. a boyfriend is adding more boys in to that list and i dont want that. you will be my boys forever and i wont be taken from you so please trust on me and stop being so overprotective bc i wont give them the affection or wishes they want!’

oikawa teared up and was about to go trample you but he was held back

‘no! i want a hug! i want a family hug! cmon, iwa-chan!’

practice went by quickly but you demanded them to do 10 diving laps in punishment for all the misunderstandings theyve created 

but they gladly did it bc it meant that you wont be taken from them and you would be theirs forever and their cute manager is going to pay attention to them and them only

i got serious yandere vibes from this but its so heartwarming that theyre so overprotective and lowkey you got yourself a harem

after practice, they all wanted to walk home with you but you told them that shinsou’s house was the other direction

‘y/n-chan! you said you wouldn’t-’

you rolled your eyes

‘oikawa-san, just because i refused that confession doesnt mean i will stop earning money. i still have to catsit for his family and earn my money!’

they only agreed when kyo said that he was walking that way too but they were still weary and jealous bc he got to spend more time with you than them

as you were both walking, you looked up at him

‘kyo-san, what type of hug do you like?’

‘hah?’

he looked down at you bc we short with wide eyes and flushed cheeks

you smiled and looked forward, skipping slightly

‘everyone in the team has their own special hugs. i want everyone to have one bc you all are individually special to me so-’

but he stopped walking and pulled arm before he lifted you up, making you squeak and wrap your legs around his waist

thank god you were wearing your tracksuit and not your skirt

‘k-kyo-san?’

bruh is it obv that kyoken is one of my favorite seijoh boys like bls love on him

he didnt want you to see his flustered expression bc he still has a reputation to uphold, yanno?

so he tucked it in your neck and you softly smiled before playing with the baby hairs at the base of his neck

‘you like this kind then, kyo-san? kinda aggressive but perfectly suits you, yanno?’

he just grunted and you laughed

he wasnt about to tell you that he liked holding you on his arms bc you were so tiny and so you that holding you like this makes him feel like he was protecting you and feel good about himself bc he gets to be the one who shields you from the world

yuhhhhh get it kyo

‘so yahaba-san told me that you got kicked out of class bc you scared the teacher and kids?’

you questioned and he left his spot on your neck and pulled his face back so you could clearly see his face

it was red and possibly flustered but you just snickered

he still held you by his strong arms so you were able to move your small hands to his face where he flinched at first but relaxed when you touched his cheeks

your fingers gently pulled the sides of his lips and you tilted your head to the side

‘you,,, look really handsome when you smile, kyo-san’

you whispered and he was so surprised that his tough mask fell and was replaced by wide eyes and his eyebrows rose up, the intimidating look disappearing from his eyes

‘i-i do?’

you bit your lip bc this was so different from the aggressive kyo you knew and you didnt expect this type of innocence that he just showed you

maybe he wasnt so innocent from the fights and arguments he has started or been in 

but he was so innocent to soft touches and compliments bc he wasnt exposed to it, only used to the ones that were said due to the aura he exuded or his looks

‘yep, you do. so keep smiling for me, kay? dont have to be around the others or all the time, but i,,, want to see it sometimes’

he blinked at you but quickly went back to your neck to hide the big smile that was threatening to come out

you felt his lips move and you laughed

‘noooo! kyo-san!!! i want to see your smilee!!! dont hide it!!!’

but it was cut short when a familiar shout was heard from the other side of the street that was near the school

it seemed that oikawa was worried about you walking alone with kyoken so he followed you both with the other third years

‘kyoken-chan! y/n-chan!’

he shouted in betrayal

you were about to get away from kyo’s hold but he tightened his grip and leaned in to place a kiss on your forehead, still staring straight at the captain

‘mine’

again, do you know what happened next?

oikawa screamed

this was actually pretty funny to write bc wowza oikawa is so oikawa and hes just so oikawa-like, yanno? and im still simping over kyoken and shinsou is my ult fave in bnha and i really love him like ugghhhh :’)

[redxblueihateloveyou]

Am I the only one who doesn’t get why some (tw) are shitting on Haru and Rin separately just for the fact that they reciprocate each others feelings? Because it’s not the feelings they wanted them to reciprocate? Just curious because I'm new and recently entered the fandom. And since when miscommunication in between means that they don't deserve to be happy at the end? Because you're an idiot when it comes to love, doesn't mean you're a bad person. I came from chinese bl and it's weird to me.

Hehe welcome to the madness, perfect time to join! Yeah, tbh that's the thing in the fandom that always bugged me the most. The fact that some act like if you don't reciprocate someone's feelings, it makes you a bad person. I always found it incredibly cringy when ppl in real life for example make ppl feel guilty for not feeling the same way and make you feel like shit bc of it. I don't get why you have to apologize for that or feel bad, if you never ever gave him any hope or anything in the first place.

Nowdays it's thankfully a rare sight already in this fandom, bc most already grown and see perfectly what's truly healthy and unhealthy, it's just tbh only the same 3 accounts ppl keep sending me that are still on that, who also think that Haru is literally possessed in the last movie so I don't see the point of like arguing with ppl like this. It's just they're always getting extremely angry when Haru wants Rin as if it's his fault that he feels this way and always go about it like he is inconsiderate of Makoto's feelings. Implying that they're mad that he doesn't feel that way about Makoto, while Makoto does. I'm same as @tododeku-or-bust for example said here (idk what fandom brought this on, but just in general) also do not get what's appealing about this kind of relationships in the first place.

If they shipped it in terms of like it's mutual I'd get it, but they go on about how Rin or Haru are bad friends bc they're not in love with their best friends... like ?????? I didn't know you owe it to your friends to have romantic feelings for them.

In real life if you found out that your bestie feels that way for you while you don't reciprocate, it's a burden, that'll make you feel uncomfortable and at times guilty when you shouldn't technically feel that way. So putting on someone a burden of "I was pining for you all along", when you know they don't feel the same is giving me this feeling of cringe. So I personally do not get what's enjoyable at seeing it like that in Free. But to each their own kink lmao.

It's like... is Haru at fault for the fact that he was Ikuya's first love too? I do not get it really. Like he doesn't have to take responsibility for everyone who falls for him and he doesn't owe anyone to reciprocate their feelings. Even to Rin. Like if he didn't feel the same way for Rin, it wouldn't be his fault either. But since he does feel the same way for him, it's like... good, great, happy for them.

Like once again if someone believes that Makoto and Sousuke are unrequitedly in love with Rin and Haru, that's not rinharu fault. Haru literally never ever lead Makoto on EVER. He never ever did anything that would make Makoto believe that they're more than friends. He was always honest about everything. Like when Makoto thought that he went out to see him, but Haru just wanted to see the sunrise, he told him just that. He never encoraged anything, he refused to live with him and never wanted. I do not get why it's supposed to be his fault that he doesn't like his friend in that way. If Makoto has some unrequited feelings for him and decided to hang up on this, it's his own life choice in my opinion.

It's like saying that Onodera and Takano for example don't deserve to be together just because they unintentionally hurt each other and got separated for 10 years bc of misunderstanding. This argument is like typical Yokozawa life position aka "but I was there when he left you heartbroken for several years, that means you MUST pick me". As I've said before, that's just not how it fucking works. And just bc they couldn't explain things to each other normally, doesn't mean that they don't deserve be happy now. Being idiots is not a crime.

Or if you came from chinese bl, lets go "Guardian" for example. Zhu Hong also was on about how "why you love Shen Wei, not me, I always did everything for you and I was always there, I even wore heels bc you once said you liked those etc". Like he never asked her to do this, he never gave her any hope, he was beyond rude and open about the fact that he's not interested, he never did anything to make her think she had a chance since the beginning. Just bc she decided to dedicate her life to false hope that maybe one day something might change is not his fault. It was her choice. Why Yunlan should feel like shit bc of that I do not get personally.

I'm just buffled bc like Haru for example is the most caring about other ppl's pain person, but they call him selfish and rude bc of the way he is with Makoto at times, not even realising that it IS in fact what means being kind sometimes.. to not give someone a chance when you know you don't feel it. I was always saying this like since forever, being kind doesn't mean for example giving everyone second chances, loving everyone, wanting to be friends with anyone etc. In some situations it's not being kind, it's being stupid or even not being a good person. Once again... offering someone friendship after he openly dissed your friend and you see that he's not in any position to talk back is not kind. Or if someone cheats on you constantly, but you always forgive them it's also not you being kind. It's you being stupid. Sometimes you have to be harsh. It's for the greater good.

And like I saw several times stuff like someone under scenes where Rin has his eyes for Haru only, commenting like "oh great, look at Rin being inconsiderate of Sousuke's feelings again. Can't believe you guys find this romantic." I mean, if in their opinion Sousuke is in pain from being Rin's friend, he can end it, it's his choice. It's not Rin's fault that he thinks of him as just his friend. So thinking that Rin is an asshole bc each time he simply hangs out with Sousuke he's a selfish bitch is fucking insane. I'd feel extremely bad if my best friend was seeing it this way for example. It's like hella ugly.

This annoys me also bc of the fact that Rin, the person who at the age of 12 single-handedly saved his family from falling apart after his father's death, who's an amazing friend to Sousuke and did everything to make his happy after he found out about his trauma and always checks on him first and cries about his shoulder, who in the late evenings taught Rei to swim, when everyone else gave up already xD, who was looking after Nitori during his training, who pretends to walk the same road, just because he's scared to let Gou return alone in the evenings, the most amazing son and brother, is suddenly an asshole just because Haru is in love with him, but not with Makoto. I mean, thats just... huh? Like I dont mind you ship what you want to ship, it's like to each their own crayons for real. But like dissing them and call them selfish just bc they only see their friends as friends and don't want anything more is weird to me.

As for the fact that bc of the misunderstanding they don't deserve to be happy, that's just idiotic. I mean, lets punish Wei Wuxian and Lan Zhan too just bc Lan Zhan couldn't voice his real feelings back then and bc WWX misunderstood him. Lets ship WWX with Wen Ning instead. Nezumi is cancelled, he doesn't deserve to be with Shion. He left him. Takano should stay with Yokozawa, Onodera is trash. Wu Xie is trash for wanting to be with Zhang Qiling too. It doesn't matter why he leaves, it only matters that he always does. I can't believe he doesn't see that Pangzi is there with him all along xD. What an ungrateful trash of a human being I can't even.

And anyways btw both Rin and Haru are not ideal human beings in any way (otherwise I wouldn't love them this much tbh xD). But their flaws are definitely not what for example mh shippers usually blame them for. You can argue about their other imperfections easily. Like being stupidly stubborn for example. I won't point fingers here, Haru lolz. Or literally anything else.

My point is you can find what to trash them for logically, if you wanna. Do it smartly tho. Otherwise you make your ship look bad.

And I once again say what wise person said about his relationships and about the fact that not being able with someone he loves hurt him and 'why is he doing this to himself' he answered: "it's not on him. my happiness and my pain is for me to handle". Everyone decides for themselves. This is why for example Haru was so broken about voicing this to Rin and didn't have any intentions to tell him that in the first place. Bc it's not right, if you're not sure that it's requited. Technically he has no right to blame Rin for making him fall in love with him and then leaving in the first place. It's not Rin's fault really, that he made him feel what he feels for him, it's ultimately Haru's problem. That's why he feels has no right to blame him in the first place. I mean, he doesn't know that Rin feels the same, that means saying to him "you break my heart each time you leave" and making him feel bad about it is technically wrong. That's why Haru to himself said "no, please, don't say such things to him". Everyone for himself decides who deserves your 5, 7, 800 or 10000 years of your pain. It's your decision. It's your life. If Haru feels like Rin is worth it, then you have no say in that matter really. The only reason we call Rin an idiot or Haru an idiot is because we know they feel the same, so we can. But blame someone else for not feeling what you're feeling is not right.

So like even if you feel like Makoto and Sousuke have feelings for their friends, blaming Haru and Rin for having feelings for each other and not for them is beyond weird. And there's nothing wrong with putting someone you love first, every bro/sis gets it. You can say bros before hoes all you want, but like Lan Zhan might just drop his bro for his hoe, if he was given a choice. Would it make him a bad person? The fact that Wu Xie chose to save Xiaoge before Pangzi makes his a bad person? My point is it's not all that easy.

I just feel like many ppl in this fandom are very weird about many things. Either because they do not get what it's like to go through some things or maybe they just do not get that no matter how cheesy this sounds love is not that simple. I mean, for example not all selfish is bad, sometimes like in Haru's case for example not being selfish is also bad. Bc if he finally asks for what he wants, he will make both himself AND Rin happy.

To be angry at Rin bc of the aftermath of his father's death and s1 I never had it in me, after knowing everything and how adults handled it. If some of Sousuke's fans bc of Yakusoku and the fact that Rin found his salvation in Haru bc he helped him to move forward after getting his family out of this hell alone and that Haru was the safe haven that made him happy in this moment of his life, want to trash Rin for the fact that he "neglected" Sousuke, its like your opinion. I personally do not get it. Rin doesn't owe Sousuke anything. It's not his fault again that Haru's existence helped him to feel better.

Just like not everyone will get why Haru in 1x12 was so happy about the fact that he could help Rin. To be that special somebody for someone who can "save" you in moments of your life like this, especially if you love them is an incredible feeling. And no, your bestie isn't always the person for this job, no. I don't see why people do not get that I guess, that's all. But we all have our own opinion on everything, so...

We same as you do not get it since forever, but its like it is what it is in this fandom. I personally just have another life position on stuff, so I'm very far from that point of view they have.