#but then I went to a 5sos concert with my boyfriend and they played it during soundcheck and my bf and I sang it to each other

[nina-ya]

Not gonna lie I saw one direction and just clicked on it no hesitation LMAOOO you def give Girl Almighty vibes though 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ THANK YOU FOR THE TAG @tetzoro ILY MUAH

No pressure tags: @sleepymarimo @missmugiwara @risenwrites @eelnoise @fanaticsnail @entirelysein-e @euxinia @lawva-girl @cathriine @mandiemegatron @laidenbreecatchall @bibi-brains @uminozerol @lowkeycasanova and anyone else who wants to join!!!

hehe ty for the tag vile @hysterotic !!

rules: list your top 5 albums from your top 5 artists (can't have a repeat of the same artist) on a poll, so your followers can vote which album they think captures your vibe the best

tags : @rainyrindou @shoyoist ++ anyone who wants to <3

[fvllingflower]

No Shame

pairing: idol!wonwoo afab!reader

genre: smut

warnings: making out, cursing, boob play, boob sucking, oral (f receiving), fingering, unprotected sex (actually use protection!), aftercare

song recommendation: no shame by 5sos

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Wonwoo had a concert today and he of course gave you tickets. He knew you enjoyed supporting him and the guys. Once you got changed into your outfit for the concert, you sent Wonwoo a photo of yourself. He seem to enjoy your outfit. You were wearing black tennis skirt and a tight t-shirt. You got to the concert and as you were sitting down in your chair at the concert, you were texting Wonwoo, telling him you can't wait.

The concert started and you were so excited. You were screaming and cheering for the guys. You filmed the guys performance and them announcing who they are along with taking pictures of Wonwoo. He looked so pretty, you love him so much. The performance unit started performing and when Wonwoo was changed he messaged you asking if you're enjoying the show so far. Of course you were, you enjoy their music and love seeing their talent.

Hours pass and now it was getting towards the end of the show. Snap Shoot started playing and quickly the camera man found you. You started dancing very shyly and the members were "yelling" at you that you can do better than that. So you started getting more hyped and dancing with more energy. You could see Wonwoo was smiling and laughing as you danced.

The concert finally ended and you went back stage to see your boyfriend. You said hi to the guys. Mingyu and Seokmin were recreating your dance which made you laugh. As you were laughing, you felt a pair of arms wrap around your waist. You turned your head to see Wonwoo smiling wide.

"Okay guys let me have her to myself," He waved the guys away. You turned to face him and smiled at him.

"Did you enjoy the show?" He asked.

"Of course I did, you know I love seeing you guys perform," You responded. He pecked your lips.

"Hey so we're going to go out to eat, are you two tagging along?"Jihoon asked.

"Mhm no, we'll order something later, I just wanna get in bed," Wonwoo smiled and Jihoon chuckled.

"Okay, you two have fun," He walked away.

"You ready to go?" Wonwoo asked and you nodded.

He held your hand as you two walked out and into the van. During the drive to the hotel, Wonwoo kept his hand on your thigh and just kept rubbing it. You looked at him but he was staring out the window. You sighed in defeat and rested your head on Wonwoo. You guys got to the hotel and he followed you to your room.

"What you doing stalker?" You asked as he shut your door and you took your shoes off.

"Following my girlfriend," He smiled and walked towards you. He wrapped his arms around your waist and kissed you. You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him once more.

"Is that so?" You mumbled and he hummed in agreement. You two started kissing, one kiss after another. He pulled away from you and sat in the bed. You crawled into bed and climbed onto his lap. He just grinned as he held your waist.

You two started kissing again this time with more passion. His hands started running up and down your sides. Your hand cupped his face as you continued to kiss him, but now you licked his bottom lip and inserted your tongue into his mouth. Your tongues started fighting for dominance. His hands slowly slid up your body and cupped your breasts. You decided to take your shirt off and throw it to the ground. Wonwoo looked delighted to see you in a skirt and your bra now. He started kissing and sucking your skin. Tiny moans came from your mouth as Wonwoo continued squeezing your boobs like they were stress toys. He pressed delicate kisses down your sternum and as he did you felt him grip the clasp on your bra. He unhooked your bra and threw your bra across the room. He kissed your tits softly before taking one mound into his mouth. His tongue was playing with your nipple and he suddenly bit your nipple making you moan loudly.

"Fuck!" You gripped his hair as he switched the other boob giving it the same affection.

You grabbed the hem of Wonwoo's shirt and stripped it off of him and threw it onto the floor. You started kissing down his neck and soon started sucking his sweet skin. You got up, bent over with your ass in his face as you pulled your skirt off along with your panties. He couldn't help but smack your ass. You turned around and looked at him.

"Oh god, you're so fucking perfect," He groaned in pleasure. He got up and let you sit on the edge of the bed. He got on his knees and got in between your legs.

"Can I eat you out?" He asked shyly. You smiled at him.

"God please do," You whined. With that he licked a strip against your clit, causing you to throw your head back. He started licking and sucking your folds. You gripped his hair roughly making him groan, the vibrations adding more pleasure. It felt like he was making out with your cunt. Suddenly you heard a knock on your door.

"Y/N?" You recognized Shua's voice.

"Y- yeah," You held back your whines.

"Is Wonwoo with you?" He asked.

"Mhm— yeah," You tried to keep yourself together as Wonwoo continued to eat you up like he was starved.

"Oh okay, well we're going to sleep so good night," You could tell Shua was smiling.

"Good night Shua," You replied. You're pretty sure he walked away. You let out soft whines as Wonwoo continued. He added his fingers to the mix of pleasure. You were close to shutting your legs on his head but he held you legs open by your thigh and he would squeeze the flesh as he devoured you. He was pumping two fingers in and out of your greedy cunt as he ate you up even when you released on his face, he licked you clean. He looked up at you and his face looked like a mess which made you giggle.

"Come here," He pulled you into a kiss and you could taste yourself against his lips. He stood up and pulled his pants and underwear off. You couldn't help but stare at how big he was, big and thick, of course you seen it many times but every time you just stare. You laid in bed and he climbed on top of you.

"Spread your legs for me baby," You listened and spread them as much as possible. He lined up with your hole and he thrusted into you slowly making you moan loud but you quickly covered your mouth. He didn't seem to notice at first cause he was so focused on thrusting at the right pace until he looked up at you to make sure you were enjoying it.

"Baby let me hear your pleasure, let them hear it, let them know how good I'm fucking you, yeah?" He whispered as he pulled your hand away from your mouth and held your hand. He started thrusting fast and rough. You were turning into a mess underneath him. You felt so bad for the guys hearing you but it felt so good. He was fucking you so rough you thought you would snap in half. You wrapped your legs around his waist making him sink deeper into you. He kept pounding into you like his life depended on it.

"Oh fuck Wonwoo," You almost screamed.

"That's it baby let them who this pussy belongs to," He smirked as you continued to be loud. He put your boob in his mouth and was making out with it. He bit your nipple and tugged on it. He suddenly slapped your boob and then squeezed it.

"Oh shit Wonwoo!" You moaned loudly. He continued to fuck your brains out. He was hitting every right place to make you lose your mind in pleasure.

"Such a perfect pussy," He grunted as he pounded into you harder. He put one leg on his shoulder to make it easier to fuck your brains out. This has to be one of his favorite sightings; your boobs bouncing, your hands clawing the bed, your mouth gapped open with pleasure, he loved how fucked up you look whenever he pounds your brains out. It didn't take much longer till you started to feel your stomach tighten.

"Wonwoo— I'm going to cum," You whined.

"It's okay baby, cum for me," He spoke softly. Your legs tremble as you released your arousal all on his dick. It didn't stop Wonwoo, he continued fucking your brains out until he filled your hole up. He pulled out and laid beside you, as you two caught your breath. He got up, and went into the bathroom. He came back with a wet cloth and cleaned you up. He pressed soft kisses across your face as he expressed how good you did.

"I'm going to go into my room real quick and grab some clothes, okay?" He informed you as he put his clothes back on. He left the room and entered his hotel room.

"I'm fucking traumatized from that," Mingyu exclaimed. Wonwoo just laughed.

"You're acting like this is the first time you heard me have sex," Wonwoo was grabbing his clothes.

"Yeah but I didn't know those people you fucked, but I know Y/N!" Mingyu spat.

"You're dramatic," He laughed as he walked out the room. He opened the door and you wobbled out the bathroom.

"You brought your whole suitcase?" You smiled.

"Yeah... why are you still naked? You want a second round," He smirked.

"No! I swear you almost broke me," He cupped your face and kissed you softly.

"I'm sorry baby, do you want me to massage your legs?" He asked and you shook you head.

"It's fine," You wobbled towards the bed and fell half way. He ran towards you and picked you up and sat you on the bed.

"I'll bring you some clothes," He smiled. He went to your suitcase and grabbed some underwear and handed it to you. He stood up and pulled his t-shirt off and handed it to you to wear. You put the clothes on and Wonwoo changed into something to sleep in as well.

You sat up against the bed frame as Wonwoo went to your thighs and started massaging your muscle. Once he finished help ease the tension in your thighs, he laid down next to you and you rested your head on his chest. You enjoyed moments with him, cuddled up, warm, and safe.

"I love you," You whispered to him. You noticed him softly smile.

"I love you too," He kissed your lips.

[geekygoddesss]

The Boyfriend Tag [Calum Hood Edition]

Summary: an unfiltered interview featuring Calum Hood and his girlfriend.

Words: 4.7k

“Hello! I’m Calum Hood, from 5 seconds of summer” He greets to the camera. 

“My name is (Y/n) and I am dating this guy. Today! we are going to be answering this tag thing” I answer in a more excited tone, as I point at the camera. 

“The whole band has done it, it’s only fair I do it as well” He mentions  “We’re currently at home, where we all should be” He says, looking at the surroundings of our sweet home “...so we have more than enough time to get to this”

I smile “And here it is” 

                                                       _______

How did we first meet?

“Through friends” Calum explains shortly “it was nothing super special, sadly, she just happened to be friends with one of my friends and that’s how it happened” he shrugged. 

There was really not much to tell, Our story simply happened in a very natural way. 

“My friend invited me to LA and I met him in...If I’m not mistaken it was at a brunch party?” I explain. 

“You’d be right” he nods  “then a series of things happened and she ended up joining our team”

I smile to the camera “In case you didn’t know. I’m a music editor, I like producing and tweaking, so you could say we would see each other a lot” I shrug. 

“And things happened, went on a couple of dates, did my magic…” he added, moved his fingers in front of the camera in a funky way and finished with a “...and here we are”. 

Where was our first date?

“We went to a concert” I exclaimed, growing really excited at the memory “it was crazy, we literally started with a bang” 

“Yep and it wasn’t planned at all” he laughs, rubbing his jaw with his hand as he spoke “I originally had the plan to go with Ashton to this Chainsmokers show, we wanted to take advantage of that to talk with Drew and Alex after, but Ashton got really sick and since I had the ticket and couldn’t just let it go to waste, I asked this beauty to go with me” he said, reaching over to squish my cheek. 

I move away as an instinct, but I love it. 

“It was awesome, those guys really put up a good show” I add, smiling as I spoke “I got really drunk that night” 

Fun fact. I don’t know what came over to me the night of our first date, but for some reason, alcohol played a big part that night, it was embarrassing, but it was worth it. After all, we made a great memory out of it. 

“Tell me about it” Calum said, rolling his eyes. 

I blushed, but before he could say anything else, I swang over to him and covered his mouth “Shhh” I giggle, scotting over to his side “He kind of babysat me, sorry babe” I said, uncovering his mouth. 

“Kind of?” he asked with a sarcastic tone “Geez, I can’t even answer to that. Next question, I don’t want to tell this story” he said, shaking his head. 

I roll my eyes “Drama queen” I shrug “I got drunk and he had to take care of the rest, it was both fun and weird”. 

“Next” he states, passing on to the next question. 

What was your first impression of me?

I have to take a moment to answer this question, not because I don’t know what I like, but because I struggle remembering what exactly was that caught my attention. It only took me a few seconds to answer. 

“My first impression of you was that you were really quite but still very present in the room” I speak first “it’s hard to explain, because we literally met in the middle of a conversation but basically” I try to explain, shifting a little in my place  “I remember standing in one place and hearing stories from other people, I was completely not familiar with anything, I didn’t know any of them so everything they said was pretty much new, but you always had a fun insert to add, even though you barely spoken that was something that stood out for me a lot” I say, nodding towards him. 

“Mine was more or less the same, actually” he says, acting surprised about my answer “because you’re always very quiet when being on a crowd and that stuff, you always stand back from having too much attention” he explain. “it’s funny because, the first day I met you I remember, I greeted you and all, we didn’t really talked to each other and I didn’t hear you talk either, however, when our food delivery came in the first thing I heard you say was ‘yo, I bet you can’t sniff of this paprika’” he says, a smile growing on his face, until full giggles starting coming out of his lips. 

“Did you really had to say that on camera?” I sigh, acting annoyed, but I really wasn’t. 

“It was hilarious” he says, still laughing. 

I know this is a fact that kind of embarrass me, but watching laugh it off was completely priceless. 

When did you meet my family?

“I met your family on the day you launched your third album” I start answering the question, as soon as he finishes reading.  “it was such a big moment and you flew everyone in, it was the first time I ever got to interact with your mother and -well- everyone, as your girlfriend and not just a friend” I explain “also it was the first time I stayed over at your place for more than two nights”

“It was a extended pijama party” he mention, nodding at the camera with a serious look “no, uh, there’s a reason behind all that. When it came to this situations, I very much preferred for her to stay at mines while my family was in there than to have her alone at her apartment, so I took the chance” He shrugged, reaching over to pat my tight. “It was fun!” 

“It was very fun” I nod agreeing “I love how your mom takes the lead in the kitchen and no matter what you say, she is the one in charge” I laugh, remembering all those discussion for who was the first cooking dinner at the house.

“Mom doesn’t love my cooking” Calum admits with a sigh. 

I nod “I don’t know why, if I’m honest”  I add“She makes some exceptional fish and chips though, it’s just...” 

I have to close my eyes to add some drama into all these. I loved food, and that was definitely one of the best meals I’ve had in a long time. I knew Cal’s mom loved to cook, and it was an honour for me to try her meals, they were heaven on earth.

“Yeah I know” he chuckles “How did I meet yours?” he asks to himself and sighs  “I didn’t”

My jaw tenses a little, I don’t know how I didn’t see this coming but I didn’t care at all. 

“I’m an orphan, don’t cry for me, I’m fine, I don’t need to talk about it” I state, moving over to his side and hugging him “you are my family”

He smiles softly at me. “Yes I am, baby” he says kissing my forehead. “Next” 

Who said “I love you” first?

“Eh...I did” I admit, with a shy smile on my face “guilty” I add, raising my hand. 

“She did” he seconds, pointing at him. “it was adorable”

That phrase made me cringe for some reason. Not that I denied it wasn’t adorable, it was just some awkward moment that I came out of me and I still feel unsure of. I am not often the one who speaks up, so doing this was pretty ballsy. 

“Was it?” I ask, unsure “It was too soon, I dont know...”

“It was alright, really” he says, shaking his head and going over to rub on my arm a little “we were having one of our famous, drink and watch, where we watch movies and every time something specific happens, we drink a shot” he starts telling the story, also making the fun add on of our usual date nights. 

“And I was like, woooh woooh” I say, trying to imitate that very moment. I lean over him, and leaning my head too close to his, I press my head on his cheek and whisper “I loaf you, Cayum” making it coming out as a loud muffled sound. 

“God dammit” he giggles moving away just a little “I mean, it did sound like that, but it was cute and I said it back” he says, rounding his arm around my shoulders and pulling me closer.

“At first I felt weird because I thought I shouldn’t have said it right there at that moment, but if I’m honest” I add “I was fine” 

“We were fine” he continues, leaning in to kiss my temple “more than fine”

What dressing do I always wear?

I look at him up and down.  It’s kind of funny, because with this whole situation, we both happen to be in our pajamas, so our dressing code has been turned around for the moment. My vision of what he could be wearing on the daily has been distorted. 

“Pfff” I sigh “I don’t know, I really don’t” I confess. “You are very weird with fashion, I must say, I don’t think you often wear the same thing” I say, looking over at him. 

“I sure do, I can think of a couple things” He says, smiling at me with a teasing smile, silently encouraging me to think. 

“Well, you do wear hoodies often, at home mostly” I say, being the first thing I can think of

“Like this one, actually, it’s like your morning hoodie” I giggle, reaching over to tug on the hood. 

He was wearing that very soft white hoodie he would reach over to every morning, if there was a little bit of a breeze out there. She loved it, it was a nice piece of clothing to hug him in. 

“There you go, see?” He chuckles, shaking his head  “Mine is easy because every day of your life you wear socks that reach your ankles and beyond” He smiles, looking down at my feet and staring at my socks. 

“Ding ding ding!” I celebrate, smiling at him “You are so right!” I laugh.

He nods, he knows he was right. 

“Show the public, please” he suggests, giving me the honours.

“I have pineapples today” I say, lifting my foot as much as I can and holding it up to the camera. “Yesterday I had dogs and I have all kind of patterns, I love collecting socks” I smile, looking down at the pretty pattern and admiring it. 

“It’s a fun thing to collect, I like it a lot actually” He admits, staring at it too “Do you have your 5SOS socks already?” he asks, as I lower my leg to its previous position. 

I roll my eyes “Oh, shut it” I groan, he breaks to laugh and he knows why.  “you didn’t let me design socks for your merch, now I don’t want anything” I say, scooting away from him

“Right” he laughs, shaking his head and laughing “Next question”. 

Weird habit of each other?

“I know one of yours” he says before I can even answer. He turns to me, looking at me with a mysterious smile. “I’m going to leave it at your choice, should I tell or should I not?” 

I look at him with the same look he gives to me, trying to see in him what he had in mind. I might have some weird habits, I was just hoping he wouldn’t pull out the worst. 

“Shoot”  I say, glaring at him. 

“Everything you do, you find a way to relate it to a meme” he says, looking straight at me and laughing as he speaks “I don’t even know how you do it, you just do” 

“Oh man! that’s not that bad, but I wasn’t expecting that at all” I laugh as well, finding it kind of funny that we went in with this one “I don’t think you have a bad habit, but, if I must say one, I would say your silence” I say slowly, not really sure if that even count. “you are one quite soul, Cal” I add, bumping our shoulders together 

“Am I?” He says, raising an eyebrow up as he spoke. 

I nod  “It’s like, sometimes  I ask you something and you just do this” I explain, resting my head over my chin and looking straight at him, saying nothing but still saying much. “I’m not a mind reader, pal” I mumble, still looking at him. 

He leans over and touches my forehead with his, looking at me straight in the eyes and mumbling.  “You should know what it means” 

I roll my eyes. “Uh huh” 

He would never admit his silence was weird, but that’s okay, it was something of him that I really liked.

How long have we been together?

“Almost two years” Calum says, his voice sounding sort of surprised as he spoke. 

“It doesn’t feel like two years, how scary” I add, leaning my head on his shoulder “I feel like time really flies lately, these past two years between working with you, having all these changes and moving to this city, I felt like it’s only been a couple months” I mention, reflecting about all of the little things that have led us to this moment. 

“That happens when you’re having fun baby” 

I smile, bumping my shoulder to his “It’s been the best two years, I hope you know that” 

What was our first road trip?

“Here’s the thing” he says, taking the lead “We often do small road trips to little parts of the city, so I would dare to say our first road trip together was... Mexico?” he says, looking at me in doubt. 

“I think so, I’m not sure” I say, thinking about it as well. “but I think our most special trip was not even a road trip, it was a full on trip, remember?”

He frowns a little, turning to look at me looking for more clues. I didn’t gave more information away, if he knows, he knows. 

“Which one?” He asks, still thinking about it.

“The first trip we did together, we were around 8 months, I would say” I say, still maintaining the mystery, until I decided to drop it.  “We went to Australia, made a stop for three days and then New Zealand” I explain. 

“Oh that’s right! yeah, you are right” he nods energetically at my answer. “We went visiting my family and exploring, it was a whole deal” he explain, now with a smile on his face. 

“I think that even counts as a road trip, we used your uncle’s jeep, visited some awesome places” I say, smiling as well “I loved it, I always wanted to go to Auckland and having the chance of exploring the city was the best thing ever” 

He nods, agreeing with me. That particular trip was the first trip we ever did together as a couple and it was worth every second. 

“I had fun too, it was a very special time” He agrees. “Fun fact, a song came out of that trip, and you would never guess which one, but if you do, let me know and I might tell a story” He states, pointing at the camera, and looking at it with a completely serious look. 

“Please do, guess” I chuckle at that statement “That story is going to fuck me up”

First thing you noticed about me?

“Now this is a question I like a lot” Calum states, sitting up straight and getting excited about his answer “Here’s the thing, the first time I met you was on this brunch thing and it was... a private event” he starts “it was interesting because in this event they had like a whole dancing thing, musicians, a DJ... the thing is, there was a particular moment of the event where they were playing jazz and the way she lost it while listening to that... that was priceless” he noticed, smiling at me “the way you lose yourself with music it’s something I won’t ever get tired of” he said in honest words. 

That statement made my heart warm up. Those were one of the most adorable things he had ever said to me. 

“Thank you” I said, with a hand on my chest. “The first thing I noticed about you is how good you are with words” I said, as part of my answer “I think some people, especially guys, sometimes come out as assholes when they want to cause a good impression, but surprisingly, he was the first guy who when he first came up to me, I felt comfortable” I shrug, looking at the camera and smiling softly. 

There was really not much to say, I felt like my answer said a lot. 

Calum smiled softly at me and reached my place, and while he caught me in his arms he mumbled “Come here”. 

And then we fall onto the floor, as we washes me in kisses. 

Tell us a fun fact about you

We both stare blankly at different points as we think of an answer. It should be easier than this, but for some reason, it is being more difficult than we thought to come up with a good answer to fill in this question. We could say so many things, but none of them would be the most appropriate one for this. 

“Fun fact” I start, after our moment of silence “the first time we kissed, very first time, I was really drunk, but I would say, it wasn’t that noticeable or at least that’s what I thought”

I see Calum notices what I am saying right away, because once I start my story, his face goes from a frown to a surprised expression very quickly. Suddenly everything taking a bit of sense for him. 

“I know where you’re going” he says, shaking his head. 

“He asked me how it felt, like the kiss, how I felt about it” I continue  “and I said ‘Ew’” 

I wish I could help it, but everytime I tell a story like this, I can’t help but breaking to laugh, without having enough control over myself. I almost have to lay back, because I am laughing so much I can hardly sit still, but I don’t do that, I just hold on to my boyfriend and do my thing. I was such a fun story, the embarrassing part of it worn off completely by how funny it was. 

“That was the most discouraging moment of my life” He explains, joining as well into my little laughing fit and shaking his head.

“I know, I’m sorry” I said, cleaning a small tear off my eye “I didn’t mean it! I was drunk, plus, I think I say ew and ouch out of its context more times that I could count” I mention.

“Now, that is very true” he says, laughing as well as he turns his look back at the camera and mumbles “Next question”

Tell us a secret 

“No” Calum says. 

So we move on to the next question. 

What am I good at?

“She’s excellent at cooking the best things in the worst times” Calum explains as soon as he’s given the chance “and what I mean by this is that, most of the time when there’s a storm or, just like a month ago, we were confined and she would do deserts like everyday, It was so good I would forget for a second about what was surrounding me” He admitted, looking at me for a second before going back at the camera. 

“I’m glad you like it”  I smile, suddenly feeling very excited. “I do instagram lives every time I cook, It’s a lot of fun” I add.

He nods “You see me in the back, like, ‘what’s that white spongy thing?’” he mentions, making a weird voice just for laughs. 

I giggle. “What’s that white dust on the table?”  I follow, completely being aware of the double-sense. 

“Is that mint? Or cilantro?” He adds. 

“Oh geez” I laugh, at that last one. “People roast me in the comments all the time, because I make stuff like, burritos, or maybe chicken teriyaki, and then you come over and can’t eat anything” I roll my eyes, shaking my head at the camera. 

He presses his lips together at my mention and nods. 

“I don’t eat meat” he mentions, shrugging “but I don’t mind at all, I don’t care if you eat meat”

I nod “I always prepare like one ratio and leave some for if you wanna try, but…” I shrug “I wouldn’t tease you into it”

“I know babe” He says, going to reach my cheek and pinch it. 

 I move away from his touch as I say “I’m not even going to answer this so… next!” 

Favorite feature about each other?

“His face is the stretchiest ever” I say with excitement in my voice. 

Without a doubt, I get up and walk right behind him, because I just need to do something. It's a necessity, this is something I do on the daily, showing the public was something I wanted to do so badly. 

“Look at this” I said, placing my hands on his cheeks and squishing them…stretching… squishing… stretching… squishing… I had so much fun. 

“I have so much fun doing this, it’s like playdough in my hands” I say, caressing my boyfriends face. 

“Okay, alright” he laughs, taking my hands away from his face. “My favourite thing is this” he says, still holding onto my hands and suddenly tugging on them hard. 

Before I even noticed, he was grabbing both of my arms together, and with great skill, he pulled my whole body over his shoulders, and as he got up from his seat and walked back. 

“What?!” I yelled loudly “Put me down!” 

He does as I said, and as he walked to the back of the room, he let me down right beside him. 

“She’s so tiny” he laughed, ruffling my hair playfully “I can carry her in my bag” 

I rolled my eyes “No, I’m not” I whined “Stop” 

He laughed again, and as he lifted his arm, and rested his elbow on my head.  “See this (Y/n) to Calum ratio” he mocks “I’m half a person” 

“Perfect size” I giggle, pushing him aside playfully. “Now that you’ve exposed my height, can we keep going please?” I say, almost begging. 

If we kept going with this, I could easily turn from funny to not so funny anymore. 

What do we argue about the most? 

Once again, we stay quiet for a good second, but not because we don’t know, it’s because there was really not an specific answer we could give. I don’t we even knew what to say. 

“I would say, the majority of times, we argue for the most dumb things you could imagine” I say, answering for the both of us  “But about serious things, it’s something very rare” I shrug. 

“I think our trending topic when discussing about something, it’s about me misspelling words when writing, and her losing it” he says, pointing at us and totally throwing me a look. 

“Dude” I sigh “Because then people will read and take it the wrong way, not cool” I argue. 

“It doesn’t matter, you just explain” he shrugs, completely not caring. 

“You need to listen, that’s what you need to do” I roll my eyes  “Read a book, punk” I let out. 

His eyes widen at my answer. “Oh is that it?” He says looking at me directly. 

I crack a smile, going to hug him, before he thought I was serious about this. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding” I let him know. 

I would never tell him something like that on purpose.

Nicknames for each other?

I sigh. “Sadly, I don’t have anything other than Cal, and all the regular sappy nicknames” I shrug  “I know I’m terrible, sue me, I don’t care” 

I speak honestly, all super creative nicknames were over thought and they could be weird sometimes. I was too classy to use anything overly new. 

“That’s mean, because I do have a couple of names for you” he mentions “Sweetie pie, Baby… The others I can’t reveal” he says slowly, patting my thigh with his hand. 

my nose scrunches “Why?” I ask. 

“They’re very confidential, you should know that”  he says, shaking his head. 

I shrug. “If I’m honest, I don’t know” I giggle “But I’ll keep the secret if that’s what you want”

He smiles, and leaving kiss on my cheek, we move on to the next question. 

Complete this sentence “You’re my……..”?

“Oh, this is the famous question” he says after reading the question out loud. A smile cracking on his face as he looked at me. 

“Was there a famous question?” I asked, raising my eyebrow. 

“All the guys were talking about this one, I’m sure you guys are enjoying this” he smiled at the camera and pointing at It. “Luke’s girl cried” he mentioned to me. 

My eyes widen “Did she?” I say, my mouth forming a pout “Oh man, I haven’t seen that” I sigh “You first”

He nods, already knowing that he would be the one taking the lead first.

“You are my saviour” he says, going to grab my hand. “I know it might sound sappy and you hate it, but it’s the truth. Before you I was a lonely guy, even when I had friends, I still felt pretty lonely, and I really appreciate the fact that I found someone who I can talk to, share moments… someone who I can lean on, It’s something that really gets me thinking… If it wasn’t for you, I would be sad” he says, pressing his lips together as he looked at me. 

“Really?” I asked in a whisper. He nods. “Cal…”

I wish I could keep it together, but hearing him say something like this… I’m front of a camera. It doesn’t seem like a big deal, we’ve been in these kinds of situations before, but right now, it felt different, and it felt special. 

“No, baby, don’t” he chuckles when sees my eyes starting to Glow. “See?” He tells the camera with a smile. 

“I don’t even know what to say…” I sigh, shaking my head “You’re my partner” I say smiling. “Probably sounds weird, because it’s obvious, but I mean it, you’re my best friend, I love spending time with you, I always look forward to be with you and have you by my side, I can tell you everything and I trust you more than anyone, I think being with you is without a doubt, the best decision I have ever taken in my life” I admit. 

The grin on his face is a real one, and once I finish with my words, he gives a squeeze to my hands, and leaves a kiss in both of them. 

“Come here, baby” he whispers, pulling my into his arms. “I love you, I love you, I love you” he says, kissing my cheek a lot. 

“You’re squishing me” I laugh “I love you so much, a million times, more than you do” 

And more than he could imagine…

                                                    _____

“So, this was our version of the girlfriend and boyfriend tag, I hope you enjoyed” I say first, as I smiled to the camera. 

“We also hope this brought you enough entertainment during this time, we for sure had a good time doing it” He continues for me, waving at the camera. “Until the next time, and remember to stay safe, bye!”

With this, we both lift our hands, and wave energetically at the camera, we turn of the camera, and our version of this tag was completed. 

It was a wrap!.

[taleofharrison]

Stuck | Michael Clifford

Summary: The boys try to do something special for the reader’s birthday while on tour but it might take a quick turn into something more.

Warnings: No just the friends to lovers prompt and rusher!reader because I love BTR (me? including Big Time Rush in yet another one of my works? I bet no one saw it coming).

Requested: No

Word Count: Around 1500

A/N: IT’S MY BIRTHDAY TODAY! so this kind of a request I did for myself, the original idea for this was to write 5sos x platonic!reader but it became friends to lovers with Michael. The BTR songs I mention can be found here, here, here, here and here

MASTERLIST HERE

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY” four voices exclaimed waking you up in a quite abruptly way making you forget you were in a bunk in a tour bus hitting yourself with the bunk above yours.

“Ouch sorry” Ashton said “anyways happy birthday to the best tour mom ever”

“Yeah and don’t tell my mom Ash said that” Luke chirped in making you smile.

Even though every time your four best friends had to go on tour begged you to come with them sometimes it just wasn’t possible for you but this time you managed to make time for this tour and whenever it was possible for you to join them you looked after them, stopping them from getting too drunk after a show in case they had to do interviews or something important the next morning or making sure their show outfits were ready before or during soundcheck. You loved and cared for them and they loved and cared for you it was the most beautiful friendship you could ever have.

“Thanks guys” you smiled again with a sleepy voice “how come you woke up before I did?”

“Well we wanted to do something special and surprise you” Michael explained “we can stop near a bakery and buy you a proper cake but for now you’ll have to settle for the last package of Oreo we have”

Calum handed you the package it had a piece of paper pasted to the envelope it said “HAPPY BIRTHDAY” with markers of different colors and their signatures it was the sweetest thing they could’ve done for you.

“You don’t have to buy me anything seriously this is enough” you replied opening the package.

“But we want to” Michael spoke again “You do so much for us”

For a second you lost yourself in his eyes, you had fallen for one of your best friends and after months of denial, thinking it was a stupid crush and it would fade, two weeks ago you finally admitted that you had fallen for him and how could you not? He was sweet and dorky and everything you’ve ever wanted.

“Uh you know what I’m going to get ready for today” you put your Oreos on your bunk “you can eat some if you want”

You left them and went to the back of the bus you closed the door the sound of Big Time Rush began to come from where you were now. Michael smiled of course you were listening to BTR when getting ready he thought it was sweet.

“I think the best birthday present you could give to her is telling her how you feel” Ashton suggested taking a cookie and putting it in his mouth.

“I-what?” Michael gasped “how do you guys know?”

“Mate you’re not very good at hiding your feelings we all noticed” Calum chuckled “don’t worry she’s just as oblivious as you are”

“Can you guys speak lower?” Michael whispered “I can’t have her hearing this”

“She has Big Time Rush sounding as loud as possible from the bluetooth speakers” Ashton laughed “she must be too busy enjoying herself dancing like crazy right now. She’s not going to listen to any of this”

Michael nodded he had a point the song playing was If I Ruled The World and it was your favorite BTR song and by now they had it memorized too “Do you really think I should do something about it?”

“Yep” Luke quickly answered “I can’t stand another conversation with her and about you”

“She told you?” Michael questioned again eyes wide open.

“Dude you know we are close” Luke shrugged “remember that I introduce you guys to her. Of course, she told me!”

Luke was the only one who knew about your crush on him you begged him not to tell the other boys but of course they found out by themselves and nobody had to tell them everybody around you knew but Michael. Maybe they were right it was time to do something about it.

“I’ve been thinking about this for quite a while now” Michael said “maybe we could add a song to the setlist tonight just for her birthday”

They didn’t allow you in the soundcheck which was weird they always wanted you there to be their number one during every rehearsal you immediately brushed it off “Maybe they are planning something silly for my birthday” you thought and kept playing with your phone and listening to music in the tour bus.

By the time of the concert the boys surprised with a cake singing happy birthday to you as funny and as out of tune as they possibly could making you laugh and smile.

“We told you we’d get you a proper cake” Michael smiled “now blow your candles and make a wish”

“Thank you, guys, so much” you said before blowing the candles.

“What did you wish for?” Michael asked.

“Not telling” you smirked “not going to come true if I tell”

“Well let’s eat some cake we have to get to the stage in around half an hour” Luke said.

After your small, improvised party the guys rushed to the stage you of course stood by the side of the stage watching your best friends having the time of their life.

“Cause I’m really not fine at all” they finished amnesia it was followed by the deafening sound of the fans screaming.

“Hey guys” Michael spoke “so tonight it’s a pretty special night because Y/N’s here and it’s her birthday today” and the fans screamed even more. They loved you and even considered you the fifth member of the band because of how pretty your friendship with the boys was.

“She’s a big fan of a band called Big Time Rush and she’s been begging us to do a BTR cover for a long time now” you rolled your eyes at Mike’s comment you weren’t begging you just told them it’d be pretty cool if they did just one song “and since today’s her birthday we are going to surprise her by finally singing one of their songs”

That’s why you weren’t allowed in the soundcheck “Put your lights in the air and please sing this if you know it this is Stuck”

“But I just keep getting…” Mike sang looking at you.

“Stuck, stuck” the boys joined him with harmonies his eyes never leaving yours.

“But I’m never giving…” Michael face went back to the crowd this was the first time in the whole song that he took his eyes off you.

“Up, up” the boys joined him again for the last part of the song “Thank you guys!”

Again, the fans were screaming a lot of them may not know the song, but the song was basically a Michael solo with beautiful harmonies, and it was something they couldn’t experience live every day.

“The next song it’s from our new album CALM” Luke said to the microphone as Michael changed guitars and the iconic sound of Easier filled up the place.

“Can’t sleep?” You asked Michael he was sitting on one of the sofas at the back of the tour bus.

“What are you doing up?” he questioned.

“I can’t sleep either” you sat next to him “great show tonight by the way I really enjoyed the cover section today…thank you”

“Well the four of us wanted to do something special for you…”

“I knew it was your idea” you interrupted him “I could tell it was your idea. It just screamed Michael to me”

“Yes, it was my idea” he said smiling at you “it was nothing I know how much you love those guys I just had to do it and I know someday they’ll get back together and we will collab with them and you can finally meet them then”

“What choice of song” you changed the subject “when I ‘begged’ you to cover a song I told you guys would do a great version of Shot In The Dark or Til’ I Forget About You not Stuck”

“I know that Stuck is one of your favorite songs and I know that you think it’s underrated because a big part of the fandom only recognize Boyfriend as a love song” he explained finally looking at you, you could’ve sworn you saw his eyes shine in the darkness “I know because I listen to you complain about it and this song had a message I really wanted to give to you that’s why I chose it”

“Michael, do you really feel that way about me?” you asked looking down.

“Yeah I do for quite a while now” he answered with a breathless laugh “and I-I think you feel the same?”

“Did Luke tell you?”

“No, he didn’t” he said “actually Ashton told me to do something about it”

“Ashton knows!?” you screamed whispered.

“Apparently everyone knows” he chuckled “but us”

You thought you had been careful and not too obvious about it and of course Luke hadn’t told, you could trust him with your life.

“Can I kiss you?” Michael questioned after a moment of silence.

You just nodded and when his lips touched yours it felt like a thousands fireworks in your stomach it was magical, it was perfect and even though you birthday ended about 3 hours ago it was the best present ever.

“Sorry it took so long” Michael breathlessly said once you pulled apart.

“It was worth it” you smiled leaning to kiss him again. 

Guess your wish came true

(GIF not mine) 

[soft-luke]

Messing around | Ashton Irwin

Request: Can you do an Ashton imagine where him and the reader are super giggly and playful and one day when they are all on tour Andy takes videos of them chasing each other around the venue being all psycho and crazy with each other. Just a lot of giggly stuff

A / N: I hope this is giggly enough tbh. I made it a thing to write on the imagines over the whole day, do 500 words in one session and then add 50 every hour or so, until I write quickly again at 3AM. Welcome to my life in quarantine

Requests are still open, btw! (For Headcanons, Blurbs and Imagines)

Word count: 1.3k

Masterlist

You were quite happy to be able to go on tour with the band, especially with Ashton. You always hated when you had to stay home and were only able to see him through your phone on FaceTime. Ever since the band was extremely successful, he had to travel a lot and the gap between your meetings got bigger and bigger. Ashton was also very happy when it was definite that you would accompany them on their world tour. Not only did you love their music, but you also loved to hang out with the boys. They were the best company you could imagine, so you were excited for everything you would be doing before and after a show. It also meant that you got to see a lot of the world, from Europe to America.

When the tour started, the time basically flew by. America was amazing to see and Ashton took you to a lot of different places after shows or on free days. After America, you headed to Europe, which you were excited to see as well. London was a beautiful city, so Ashton decided to walk around the city with you since he had discovered a few nice places already when he had been there before. You took a lot of pictures by the River Thames, alone and with Ashton. Your favourite picture was the one where Ashton had his arm wrapped around you, holding you close and pressing a kiss onto your temple while you smiled into the camera and the River Thames can be seen in the background. You put it as your new home screen background almost immediately. You encountered some fans at some point, but they were all pretty nice and told you how excited they were for the show in the afternoon, Despite seeing different shows all around the world already, you were still excited to see Ashton on stage. It was an amazing sight to see him feel the music and do his best at playing the drums. In your eyes, he was the best drummer there is and you would never get bored of watching him play. After the fans left, you took Ashton’s hand again and kept walking down the street with him. “You really like London, don’t you?” He asked, his hand letting go of yours and resting on your back.

It was not only the city you loved, but also that you got to experience it with Ashton. Normally, you chose more quiet locations for your vacation together, often at the beach and not a big and loud city. “I am glad to be able to see all these countries in general,” you admitted, but still nodded at him, watching him smile at you, before putting his sunglasses back on properly. You walked around in the city for another hour, before heading back to the venue of the concert and placing your shopping bags down in the dressing room. Ashton got his hair done while you sat on the sofa in the back and Andy started to film Ashton and ask him about how his day was, filming it for the tour diaries. You listened a little bit, but were mostly focused on your phone, where you scrolled through Twitter and read some people’s Tweets on how excited they were to come to the concert and finally see 5SOS live. You smiled while reading them, understanding how excited they were to see their favourites live. Even you had been more than excited to see them live for the first time, even though you were also a little biased because of your relationship.

You looked up from your phone again, pulling your feet away from the table and onto the sofa with you and looked at Ashton. “Did you buy anything special in London?” Andy looked at Ashton curiously, but your boyfriend just shook his head, turned around with his chair and pointed at you, the camera following his motions and then filming you. “But she bought some nice clothes.” You didn’t know how to react at first and just looked at Ashton, shrugging and pointing to the bags in the corner of the room. “Ashton wanted me to buy some weird pink dress, but he has no fashion taste, so I decided against it,” you told the camera, standing up and Andy following you. Ashton acted surprised and gasped, putting his hand over his heart and pretended to be hurt. “I have never been this hurt in my life,” he gasped again, while you reached into one of the bags and took a mug out with the Big Ben on it. You had wanted this kind of souvenir, because it was so cheesy. “Ashton made me get this cheesy mug. He thought it was a great addition to the kit-” You weren’t able to finish the sentence because an empty water bottle was thrown at you and Ash laughed devilishly. “Liar!” He protested, but you didn’t want to give in yet and crossed your arms in front of your chest. “No need to get violent, Irwin,” you shook your head, before grabbing a pillow from the sofa and throwing it at your boyfriend. Andy continued to film this chaotic moment, but it would be clear for everyone that you had a lot of fun. Ashton and you had always enjoyed goofing around.

Ash caught the pillow and jumped off his chair, sprinting towards you. You squealed for a second and backed up, grabbing another pillow to defend yourself with. Ashton had you cornered between the pile of bags and the sofa. “Back up, Ash and I will no one tell you about the fridge magnets you bought,” you grinned, obviously telling a lie, but your boyfriend still tried to reach you, but whenever he made a step forward you swung the pillow at him. You knew he could take the pillow away pretty easily, but he kept going for a while until he had enough and grabbed the pillow, ripping it out of your hands in a quick motion and grinning at you again. “Little liar,” he grinned, reaching out for you, but you couldn’t hold back a squeal before you tried to run past him. Quickly, he had his arms wrapped around your torso, holding you in place and chuckling. “You stay here, madame,” he insisted, but he wasn’t holding you tightly, so you could just escape with a little effort, running away immediately. Ashton went after you, Andy following with the camera when your boyfriend chased you down the hallway. Everyone moved out of your way quickly and you were still laughing while Ashton chased after you. “Come here!” He grinned, trapping you at the end of the hallway since the big double door was closed. “No escape from the devil, baby,” he joked, reaching out for you again and laughing devilishly again. With your back against the double door, you shook your head, trying to figure out how to get past Ashton. “No escape,” he reminded you when he saw how your eyes were scanning everything for a way to get past him. Andy was still filming and he’d definitely include this in the next tour guide. You made a step to the right, then a quick one to the left again, before trying to run past Ashton on the right, who managed to react quickly anyway and grab your waist again, holding you close against him. “Oh, oh, don’t try to run,” he whispered, trying to sound as creepy as possible. “It’s all fun with me,” he chuckled and he was definitely right. You didn’t want to give up yet though, so you tried to break free of his grasp. There was no chance though and in the matter of a second, he had lifted you up and you looked down to the ground behind you two. “That’s not fair,” you protested and hit his back with your fists gently. “It also wasn’t fair to excuse me of things,” he chuckled and carried you back to the dressing room, Andy zooming in to your defeated look and Ash’s happy grin.

[jawnjendes]

can’t see in the stormy weather | shawn mendes

university au, shawn x goth gf

NOTE: this is NOT the new series. this is a one shot that takes place during the early stages of their relationship... you’ll find it in the Season 1 section of the masterlist :) 

goth gf playlist | masterlist

When Shawn asked me to make a playlist describing who I am, I almost threw myself back to California. I don't know what it is about people wanting to know things about me, but it's annoying. I detest it.

It's not like he made me a playlist full of sappy love songs. He just wanted to hear songs I identify with. That was borderline terrifying because Shawn is a musician. He lives and breathes music and analyzing lyrics and melodies. What's he going to think if he finds Halsey's "Without Me" or 5SOS's "Invisible?"

Oh yeah. I deeply project whatever bits of me I discover onto songs. Then I stick to those songs and keep them on repeat and I make sure no one knows about them because then people would know things about me. It's irrational and unrealistic but that's how my stupid brain works. Anyone who's ever known me needs to disappear! They can't have the luxury of knowing me and all my secrets! What the fuck would I do if Shawn and I broke up? I'd have to kill him, that's what.

"What, are you gonna kill me too if we stop being friends?" Stella asked. "Seriously, it's just a playlist. It doesn't have to be that deep."

"I told you what the prompt was, right?" I replied.

"Yeah. And that is because Shawn knows you don't verbally express yourself about… anything. So he gave you a different outlet."

Fuck, I thought I was the psychology major here.

Yes, it was easier to let Shawn in through ways where I didn't have to say things out loud and explicitly. I had to admit that. But he was still going to find out things I had yet to tell him. Important things apart from the anxiety and semi-regular therapy sessions.

"Why don't you just pick generic songs you like, and not the ones that reveal too much?" Stella suggested.

I scoffed. "I'm closed off, I'm not a liar."

"It's not lying. Everyone's favorite song means something. I was listening to Big Time Rush when I touched down on Toronto for the first time. Everytime I hear Boyfriend I think about how I successfully made it out of my parents' house."

As nice as that sentiment was, I couldn't bring myself to find ways around the prompt. I had to do what Shawn said: compile a bunch of songs that I feel represent who I am. Besides, making playlists is… really fucking fun.

~

It took an hour of adding, removing, and very specific placements, but I was happy about my playlist to the point where I was nervous. I sent the link to Shawn the next morning when I knew he was on the way to the gym. Figured he’d listen to it during his morning workout and get it overwith. But no.

No.

Basically, I’m a fool who forgets she’s dating a musician.

So here I was, thinking that Shawn would make of what he will about the songs I chose and we would never talk about it. Wow, was I fucking wrong. How did I not expect Shawn to want to know the why?

He was a little sneaky about it too. Shawn invited me over to his place after my classes, and why the fuck would I say no to that? Of course I went over, internally cursing myself for not shaving my legs the night before. He usually had the TV on and a steaming mug of chamomile ready for me whenever I came over no matter the circumstance. Today there was only tea, and a stupidly excited Shawn.

“We have music to listen to you today!” he said when he had me on his couch.

He knew I wouldn’t play dumb either. And because of the fact that I was looking at his stupid beautiful face, I couldn’t move away from this topic.

“Cool…” I said stiffly.

Jet Black Heart - Live

He pulled up the playlist, which I had titled with the black heart emoji, and hit shuffle. Completely going against the very intricate order I put each song in. He was surprised to hear an audience screaming at the first song, but he recognized the tune that came shortly after.

“Why’d you pick this one?” he asked, his arm going around the back of the couch, watching me with his stupid pretty eyes.

I chuckled. “It’s a goth joke! Everything about me is dark, even my heart!”

“And there’s a hurricane underneath it?” Shawn guessed. He really was going to pick apart the lyrics and apply them to me, huh? “Any reason why it’s the live version?”

The answer wasn’t anything too telling or cheesy. It was still hard to maintain eye contact as I explained. “Stella introduced me to this band. She dragged me to a 5SOS concert and now it’s our tradition to see them whenever they tour.”

“Is this your favorite song?”

“Live, yeah. It just reminds me of feeling so alive. Concerts are the only times I feel that way.”

Shawn grinned at the sentiment. He seemed happy with that answer and sang along to the rest of the song.

“And there’s your deep shit of the day,” I said when it ended.

“I want more.”

What I’m Made Of…

I felt a tiny pit in my stomach. I knew this song, and I knew that Shawn did not know this song. He was looking down at the album cover on his phone, thinking to himself. Then, he turned to me expectantly.

“So…?”

“Just enjoy the lyrics and the sick guitar solo.”

He was quiet for a minute. “Well, I do get your vibes from it. But you’re also reluctant to show me what you’re made of.”

I hesitated. “It’s uh, a battle song. I’ll fight someone for trying to forcibly take anything from me.”

“Like if somebody jumped you?”

“Physically, mentally, emotionally. Yeah.”

Again, silence. “You gonna fight me?”

I knew he was joking, and I cracked a grin. “Jury’s out.”

“Any reasoning behind this soundtrack?” He showed me the cover, and I internally tried not to panic.

I had plucked the song off the wrong album, and now Shawn knew I was a fan of a certain speedy blue creature.

So much for being cool and mysterious. I’m just a fucking nerd now.

“Nah, not at all,” I casually replied.

Honestly, I enjoyed this song. I love this song. Why else would it be on this playlist? But just this once, I wanted to skip to the next one.

And when the next one came, I wanted to skip again.

I Am… All of Me

“Do, do you kin a certain hedgehog?” Shawn asked, once again amused by the album cover.

“No…” I resisted rolling my eyes.

“This song definitely sounds like you. Tell me, am I dating a hedgehog?”

Suddenly, this felt less nerve wracking and more annoying. I sighed heavily.

“I thought you wanted to know more about me.”

He chuckled. “Hey, I’m trying. I’m interpreting all these songs in whatever way I can because you won’t explain them to me. Plus, this song is from a video game.”

“Did it occur to you that maybe I like the game this song came from? Maybe I casually like this whole franchise because-” I stopped myself upon seeing Shawn’s face light up, like he wanted me to go on.

But no, he made fun of me. This song is now void, and he will not get an answer.

“Because?” he coaxed.

“Because nothing.” I grabbed his phone out of his hand and skipped to the next song.

Without Me

“Oh, who hurt you?”

“You already know that story. Next!”

Wilson (Expensive Mistakes)

I’ll stop wearing black when they make a darker color.

Shawn looked at me for a moment, still trying to analyze the fuck out of my song choice. “I gotta say, I was expecting more goth music. You listen to a lot of mainstream artists.���

“There’s no rule saying I can’t. Mainstream artists are popular for a reason.”

“Touche. So why this song?”

“It’s what people think I am. Grumpy, bitter, always in black.”

"But that's not all you are." Shawn held his hand out to me, and I took it. He looked down at my chipped polish, running his fingers over my nails. "I mean, you are grumpy. Bitter? No, I'd say realistic. Always in black? Yeah, and you look beautiful all the time because you feel good in it."

That last part struck me. At least I didn't look odd to him. He didn't fall for the tough exterior I've built for myself. That little fact was both touching and terrifying.

"I know there's more to you than the way you dress yourself. It's why I like you so much." He grinned.

Cry With a Smile

"There's the goth metal you were looking for!" I exclaimed.

"Mm, your sense of belonging, as you put it. I know all about this already."

And he skipped to the next song.

A Little Too Much

Shawn perked up a little bit, a smile growing on his face. Then he looked at me, the corners of his eyes crinkling. "Is that me?"

Now my cheeks burned. "Yeah. This song feels like a callout."

"Babe…" He was still smiling as he leaned in to cup my face and kiss my forehead.

"Yeah, can you believe? I get tired of being a hardass sometimes." I was only half joking.

Not a lot of people knew my deal with anxiety and depression, much less why they intensified over the last couple of years. The urge to tell Shawn everything was beginning to form in my throat but I kept pushing it down. He looked too happy, and I didn't want to bring that down.

"You don't have to be a hardass around me," he said sweetly. "Actually, please don't be a hardass around me, okay? Everyone has their limits."

Then, he skipped to the next song, because he was sick of his own voice.

Fist Bump

Shawn looked at me once again, a grin on his face. Here we go again.

“I’m noticing a trend here.”

“I like this franchise, okay?”

“Okay, kinnie.”

I rolled my eyes and sat back, scrolling on my phone to diffuse the frustration. What was the point if he was just going to make fun of me?

“Hey.” Shawn gently placed his hand over my phone, getting me to put it down. “I’m only kidding. You can laugh.”

My eyes narrowed.

“I’m serious! Look, maybe if you just tell me what these songs mean to you, I’ll understand better. Just give me a chance.”

His eyes didn’t show any bit of deceit… But that’s how they all are. And everytime, I’m always a fool. So I sighed and tried not to cringe at my own words.

“It’s lame… and stupid… and really stupid. But all those silly little video game songs? They…” I exhaled, and chipped at my nails. “You know I deal with… anxiety and everlasting sadness…”

“You mean depression?” Shawn corrected.

“Yeah, whatever,” I went on. “The world is full of some real shit, and, and the songs and the games…” I made a face and looked down. “They’re comforting.”

It was silent for a minute before a hand went and cupped my chin. I was met with Shawn’s eyes and glowing smile. But then he opened his mouth and the most baby baby voice came out.

“Does Sonic make yew feew bettew?”

I smacked his hand away. “I swear to-”

But I didn’t finish that statement because he tackled me in a hug.

“Kidding, kidding! I’m sorry, baby, that was the last one, I promise!” He kissed the side of my head before leaning back to look at me. “I think it’s really cute you like this series.”

“It’s not cute, it’s self care,” I mumbled.

Head Above Water

“Finally, a song I know!” Shawn exclaimed, and he dove into singing along.

I forgot I put that one on the playlist. I meant to take it off. It only made me more nervous that Shawn already knew this song. He was one step closer to unlocking the big one.

He sounded beautiful as he sang, lost in the melancholy melody. I watched him, trying not to give anything away through my face alone. It was getting harder to keep it together, just from the little things I had already told Shawn.

And so came the inevitable expectant look. “So? Depression? Religion?”

Part of me wanted to let him think that. Depression is common, it’s easier to explain than the real reason. Besides, it’s not a lie. I do have my dark days, and even darker periods. But depression isn’t the reason for this song.

“Nope,” I replied.

“You know, Avril Lavigne wrote this when she was really sick.”

Dammit, he does know what this song is about.

I sighed heavily. “How do I put this in a way that doesn’t sound scary or pathetic?”

“You’re sick,” Shawn guessed with a chuckle. But the look on my face changed the mood, and he went serious. “How bad are we talking?”

“I get sick… every so often,” I explained. “It’s nothing scary, it’s just… chronic IBS. I can manage it, I just have to be careful with what I eat.”

He nodded as he listened. “So it’s not that bad, but it’s enough for you to have a whole song about being sick?”

I hesitated. “There’s another song, actually.”

“Two?” Shawn shifted in his seat. “So that must mean it’s a bigger deal to you than you’re making it out to be.”

And he thinks he doesn’t know me well enough.

I didn’t like talking about my health problems, unless it was with my doctor. I didn’t talk about how annoying all this shit was outside my therapist’s office. Anytime I felt frustrated about food, I talked myself down because it could literally be worse. Why would I whine about something so mundane?

“You know you don’t have to tone it down for me,” Shawn added when I stayed quiet for too long. “And, if it helps… now I understand why you read restaurant menus so carefully.”

“Like I said, I have to be careful.” My voice went thick for a moment, so I coughed. “I eat the wrong thing, and I end up sleeping in the bathroom til the wrong thing is out.”

“So it’s frustrating to deal with this all the time?”

“Yeah… and I spent two and a half years not knowing what was wrong with me, two and a half years going to the doctor more times than a young adult should for their age… two and a half years thinking I might die…”

Shawn’s eyes widened. “Years?”

“We went to a doctor in Mexico, and he finally diagnosed me with IBS,” I explained. “But that was after the words ‘lymphoma’ and ‘tumor’ were thrown into the mix. It’s not really something you forget. Oh, and I hate vomiting. I hate it so much that I can’t be in the same room as someone who might be queasy. So that’s annoying.”

“Wow…”

I suddenly felt a little self conscious. “I know it’s stu-”

“If you say stupid one more time,” Shawn cut me off. “This is the least stupid thing you could be talking about right now.”

“My anxiety links back to food, too. Think that’s important to mention.”

“Is that why you always want to go back to your dorm after a dinner date?”

Oof, so he noticed. I stayed quiet, so Shawn continued.

“I can take care-”

“No,” I said immediately. The last thing I needed was my boyfriend seeing me have a meltdown because I ate something spicy. The last thing I needed was for anyone to see me have an anxiety attack after vomiting. “It’s not your job.”

Shawn reached over to cup my cheek. Only then did I realize I had been tearing up, and he was wiping it away.

I turned my head away, dabbing at my eyes with my sweater sleeves. I didn’t want to look pathetic and I failed.

“I have to ask,” he said after a moment, “have you gotten sick at all since we started dating?”

“It is a chronic illness that I have.”

“And you just… you just took care of yourself? While you were sleeping in the bathroom?”

“Like I’ve always done since I left home.”

“Impressive. I always call my mom when I feel sick, and she comes over every time.”

I was honestly surprised. I was expecting him to be upset because I never called him in my time of need. And that alone, made more tears well up in my eyes.

“Hey,” he said, scooting closer to me. “It’s okay. You probably went through a lot before you got diagnosed. It’s frustrating, I can see it weighing on your shoulders. Just tell me if there’s anything I can do for you.”

I could feel him looming over me, waiting for me to fall back in his arms. The song had long since ended, and it wasn’t about the playlist anymore. Shawn was just waiting for me to do something. I couldn’t bear to look at him, because his kindness and understanding would make me break even more. He really was too kind, far more than I expected.

Even when I said nothing, and he took out his phone. I thought he got bored, but his next prompt made me look up at him.

“Okay, so that barbeque restaurant we went to the other night, we had spicy buffalo wings for an appetizer, so we won’t have those again. Any other food that might make you sick?”

I stared for a moment before I caught another tear with my sleeve. “Um… can we skip that whole restaurant? Barbeque and my stomach don’t mix.”

Shawn typed, and the only sound in the room was his clicking keyboard. “Got it. No more barbeque. Any other place or food to avoid?”

“It’s a long list…”

“That’s why I’m writing it down.”

_______

goth gf taglist: @normalcyisoverrated-beyou @ilsolee @mendesromano @kitykatnumber @strangerliaa @iloveshawnieboi @someoneunimportantxx @goldenmndes @ruinhoney @calyumthomas @shawnsunflower @shawnvvmendes @parkeraul @havethetimeeofyourlifee @chillingbythesea @wronglanemendes @softmendesss 

[mirkwoodshewolf]

It’s a kind of magic tour pt. 2; Queen x reader

*Author’s note*

And like I promised guys, here is the second part of the chapter and like I said I’ll try to get the last part of the chapter ASAP. But for now we are at the Budapest section of the tour, it’s not really so much of the concert as it is something else, but ohh wtf I’ll just say it, I mostly wrote about Roger’s bday in this chapter so it’s FLUFFY FATHER-DAUGHTER feels with this chapter so I hope you all enjoy this chapter as you did the previous part :)

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things​

@psychosupernatural​

@waddles03​

@ixchel-9275​

@platawnic​

@geek-and-proud​

@queendeakyy​

@kairosfreddie​

@simonedk​

@onebigfangirlworld​

@naturalswifty89​

@starswin​

@bohemiansweede​

@5sos-wdw​

@labessieisallama​

@dj-lowkey​

@isabella-bby​

______________________________________________________

*July 25th, 1986. Budapest, Hungary*

After a few days of resting from the Austria concert, we were now on the ferry ride to a place that I knew very well but the guys never got to quite go to, my favorite place of all time, Budapest, Hungary.  The guys were all psyched to visit such a beautiful country and I couldn’t wait to show them what all there was to see and do.

While Deacy and Bri were lying up along the boat getting in some sun, Freddie and I were sitting together and I was telling him all there was to know that I could remember about Hungary.  Plus he said he had a little surprise for the Hungarian audience.

“Oh look Fred the crowning jewel of Budapest. The House of Parliament.” I pointed out as we came around towards it.

“Oh fabulous isn’t it. The House of Parliament. Is it for sale?”

“Freddie!” I giggled. “You can’t just buy the House of Parliament.”

“Why not?” he then turned to Queen’s interpreter and asked him, “How many-how many bedrooms?” I rolled my eyes and shook my head playfully at him.

“About 56 bedrooms in total.”

“Do they have enough servants quarters?” I gaped at Freddie and slapped his arm and that’s when he caught onto his mistake. “Not a good thing to say in this country. Sorry, I didn’t say that.” He said to the camera that was in front of us.  I shook my head as I faced the camera and mocked the gesture of me choking Freddie before placing my hands on his shoulders and leaning my head against his.

“Fred you are such a chaotic source of energy.”

“And you only fuel the flames my darling angel.” He praised proudly as he gave my nose a peck, his tache tickling the end of my nose.  After a little more of a tour along the outer boarders of Budapest, we finally arrived at our docking point and there was an entire crowd of people, just like when I first came here, waiting to greet us like we were their Queen.

I stood along the railings and I waved to everyone before proclaiming to one and all as loud as I could.

“HELLO BUDAPEST I AM BACK!!!!!” The crowd cheered and I even saw some Rock Angel signs being held up and a few chants of ‘Angel! Angel! Angel!’ being said.

“Wow they really do love you here don’t they?” Brian said.

“Well it kinda helps when you’ve been here before, and I might’ve translated one of my songs at the time to Hungarian. Believe me it was hard and I swore I messed up some of the lines but hell it’s the thought that counts.”

“Wait so you can sing Hungarian?” Freddie said as he turned to me after he gave a wave to the crowd.

“I mean a bit.”

“Then bitch why didn’t you offer to help me with my special surprise?” of course I knew the bitch was directed specifically at me as an insult, it was just Freddie being Freddie (trust me not the first time he’s called me that in the affectionate way).

“You never asked me.” I shrugged as I went over towards Roger who put his arm over me and we both gave a wave to the Hungarian people.  Once we docked, I stood behind Deacy along the stairs and he was behind Freddie.  As Freddie was speaking to someone, probably the producer or someone else, Deacy held his arms out with that sweet loveable grin spread across his face so I decided to join him.

I switched between wrapping my arms around him, or holding his wrists and leaning up against him, placing my head on top of the floofy hair of his.  When the ferry finally stopped and the engines ceased, the guys and I walked off the ferry and walked up onto the decks to hear the crowd continuing to scream and chant.

We waved to them and as we finally got off the decks and the ramps leading us out onto the streets, we were quickly placed into the cars before the fans could try and grab a hold of us.  Of course I managed to try and at least sign a couple of things, as did the boys but we didn’t have enough time for photos before we finally got into the cabs and they drove us to our hotel.

Checking in was fortunately easy but of course cameras and photographers were taking pictures of us and watching us as we signed the guest book every guest needed to sign.

My suite was on the same floor as Roger’s and Deacy’s.  Brian was two floors above ours and Freddie got the penthouse suite.  Once I got to my suite, the first thing I did was get into the bed and reached for the phone.  I dialed the number and waited for an answer.  It rang about four times till I finally got an answer.

‘Hello?’

“Hey love.” I said with a smile.

‘Well hello mama lion. Did you and the guys make it to Budapest safely?’

“Yep we just arrived at the hotel. I promise when the tour’s over I’ll bring you and Kelly here for holiday.”

‘I don’t doubt that baby. So the ferry ride was good?’

“Oh yeah it was fun. I miss you guys so much.”

‘We miss you too mama.’

“Is my baby awake from her nap?”

‘Yep she’s playing with her stuffed lion her godfather gave her.’ I smiled and said.

“Can I talk to her?” I asked him.

‘Okay. But if she starts crying because of me taking her attention away from her toy, I blame you.’ Jack teased.

“Wanker.” I muttered.

‘I heard that.’ There was a bit of silence before I heard the coos and fussing of my 8 month old baby.

“Hi little mama!” I cooed.  It was then the fussing turned into sweet coos. “Hi baby girl.”

‘Yeah it’s mama.’ I heard Jack say.

“Hi my sweet baby girl. You being good for daddy?”

‘She’s always an angel. Although we had a rough night last night.’

“Aww little mama.” I then heard a knock at the door, but I just ignored it for now as I asked. “What was wrong?”

‘I think she might’ve had a pretty bad dream last night.’

“Can babies even get nightmares?”

‘I don’t know, I called Veronica, Dominque and Chrissie about it and they said it was possible. Ronnie even said Michael once had nightmares when he was around Kelly’s age.’ I hummed and that’s when I heard the knocking again.

“Hold on a second Jack,” I set the phone down and proclaimed. “Who is it?”

‘It’s me lovie open up!’ I sighed. It was Roger. Obviously wanting to check on me as per usual.

“It’s open!” I quickly went back to the bed and picked the phone back up. “It’s just Roger coming to check on me.”

‘His usual day to day checkups whenever you guys get to a new location?’

“Yeah.”

‘So—what are you guys planning for his birthday?’

“Well I can’t say much but Fred’s got something very special planned. And you’re sure you sent the present to this hotel right?”

‘Yes baby I sent it through the mail just last week.’

“And what exactly are you talking about little angel?” I looked up and pressed the phone to my chest and said.

“Nothing you need concern for yourself shades.” I gestured to his prescription sunglasses.  He glared at me and I said, “well be thankful I’m not calling you raccoon eyes.”

“Haha very funny.” He mocked as he collapsed right beside me. “Whose on the other end? Your boyfriend?”

“As a matter of fact it’s my husband along with my child.”

“Kelly? Let me say hello to her.”

“Ahh no sir! When they came to Wembley you took her for the entire time.”

“At least I let you see her, c’mon let me say hello to my godchild, please!” god he was such a human puppy dog.  Leaning his head against his hand and giving it that adorably little tilt, doing the pouty puppy dog lip.

‘Just put him on the phone (y/n). You know he’s never gonna give it up.’ I heard Jack’s voice say. I groaned and I said.

“Just so you know next time Nique comes with baby Rory I’m taking her away from you.”

“Fine eye for an eye now give me the phone woman!” he made the grabby hands for the phone and I went ahead and handed it to him while I got up and went over and started picking out my stage gear in two days, plus my party clothes for tomorrow.

All the while I could hear Roger cooing to my child saying hi in that baby voice.

“Hi Kelly love-a-bug. Hi lovie. Awww is that so? You think your mummy and daddy are keeping you prisoner? Why the nerve of them.” I turned to him accusingly and whispered.

“Hey!” he just grinned at me mockingly as he said.

“Well don’t you worry you sweet angel. When I get back you’ll spend the week with me and aunt Nique and your favorite sister Rory, okay?” he smiled and softly laughed. “That’s what I hope you’d say. Okay lovebug, I’ve got to go now you’re mummy is looking at me very crossly. Aww I love you too love-a-bug. Bye baby girl, bye my sweet lion cub.” He then made a kissing sound to the phone before hanging it up.

“Really? You hang it up before I could say goodbye to Jack?”

“Oh Jack was there too? I thought it was just my lovebug.” I rolled my eyes at him.

“Why must you still treat him like that?”

“Like what?” he teased.

“You know bloody well what I mean your cheeky blonde lion.” I said as I sat down on the bed beside him.

“I’ve got to, it’s my rule as the father. And I promise I’ll do the same to Rory when she marries and any other daughter that I have. They’ll get the same treatment as you. Because they may find a new lion to love, but none will ever compare to their papa lion.” He said as he sat up and cupped both sides of my face before leaning his nose close to mine, and having his forehead resting against mine.

“Then may God help us once Rory and your real girls start dating. Cause then they’ll start blowing up my phone and coming to my house to escape the overbearing papa lion.” He gave me his best ‘bitch’ face like what Deacy sometimes gives me whenever I annoy him (like any good sister would do) before shoving his hand in my face and pushing me down onto my bed. “Hey you can’t do that in my room!”

“I might as well take this room as punishment young lady.”

“You are so mean!”

“But you love me for it my full grown lioness cub.”

“That I do. And I always will, even when you’re old and gray.”

“You better you ageless Angel.”

“Hey you know only Freddie is allowed to call me that.” I snapped.

“Yeah, yeah. Well I think I’m gonna head for the bar down in the lobby, care to join me?” he said as he got off my bed.

“No thanks, I’m exhausted I think I’m gonna go to bed and sleep until lunch tomorrow.” He chuckled and came up to me and kissed the top of my head.

“Well if you do wake up later tonight, that’s where I’ll most likely be, either there or in my suite.”

“Okay Rog, see you tomorrow.” He then left my room with a salute and once I heard the door close I lay back against my bed, got into the covers and just fell right asleep.

Finally for the first time in weeks, I was able to get a good days/night’s sleep.

The next morning, I woke up to the sun on my face and a ringing by my bedside.  I groaned and tiredly reached over and slammed on the clock thinking it was the damn alarm, but when it wouldn’t shut off, I unplugged it but the ringing still happened.

It was then I opened my eyes and reached out for the phone and answered it.

“What?”

‘Sorry to disturb you Mrs. Kline but a package has arrived with your name on it.’ Hearing that made me more wide awake cause I knew exactly what it was.

“It has? Tell me it’s still in perfect condition!”

‘Yes ma’am. The box is in prime condition. Not a tear or soil in it at all.’

“Excellent. Send it up to the Presidential suite.”

‘Right away ma’am.’ I hung up the phone then picked it back up and dialed the presidential suite.  It rang about five times and I muttered,

“Come on Fred pick up, pick up!” I muttered.

‘Yes?’

“Fred it’s me.”

‘(Y/n)? Darling it’s 7 o’clock in the morning, why are you calling me at 7?’

“Well sorry if her royal majesty didn’t get her beauty rest. But I need you to be awake.”

‘What for?’

“My package for Roger just came in. For his you know what today.”

‘Wait it’s that time already?’

“Yes Fred, it’s the 26th.”

‘Oh fuck! I swear a week apart and I can’t keep up with the fucking demands.’ I could hear him getting out of bed.

“So you’ll take care of it?”

‘No worries darling your gift will be kept perfectly safe in my hands. Can I at least know what it is?’

“Fuck no because you are the worst secret keeper ever when it comes to presents. Especially when they involve your partner in crime. I swear you guys tell each other everything.”

‘Yeah. That we do. And you’re no fun darling, I promise I won’t tell Roger now please tell me what it is pleeease!’

“Nope. You’ll find out later tonight.”

‘I swear darling you’ve become so boring since you became a mother. You used to share all the dirty little secrets with me.’

“You’re such a liar Freddie. A Great King Rat!”

‘Seems like someone’s been listening to our first album again.’ He teased me.

“Can you blame me? Next to A Night at the Opera, that’s my favorite album.”

‘But can you at least tell me what you’re wearing tonight?’

“Sorry can’t say that either.”

‘Darling you’re killing me here!’ he whined which made me giggle.

“Okay so you’ve got the cake ready to go right?”

‘Yes I have the finest chocolatiers baking it right now. They’ll have it ready by tonight. I sent them the design late yesterday.’

“Great. And we’ve got Dominque and Felix flying in later today. Okay so I’ll keep Roger busy for the day and then bring him around at what time?”

‘Well the guests are gonna start coming up to my suite around 6:30-7ish. Brian will pick up Dominque and the mini Taylor at around 5:15 and Deacy will be helping me with the decorating.’

“Awesome. So I will see you tonight then Fred. And remember my package.”

‘No worries dear I’ve got it all taken care off. In fact I think that’s it right now. See you tonight my darling.’

“See yah Fred.” I hung up the phone.  I got dressed into some casual clothes for the day so that way I wouldn’t ruin my party clothes for tonight.  I ended up wearing a simple summer blouse that I hadn’t really worn since before I got pregnant with Kelly as well as some jean shorts.  I did my hair and makeup before finally heading towards Roger’s room.

Thankfully the guys always give me a spare key to their hotel rooms each time we go on tour together, just so that way if I ever needed company I could go to them, or in an occasion such as this, I could give the guys some special birthday morning loves from me.  Once I got the door opened, I slowly crept inside and there I saw Roger still asleep in bed, with his shades still on.

I rolled my eyes and tip-toed towards the bed and as gently as I could removed his shades.  Thankfully Rog was always a heavy sleeper, even more so than Brian was.

“Roger.” I softly whispered as I poked his cheek.  He didn’t flinch. “Roger wake up.” I gently shook him this time and he still refused to wake up.  So I resorted to my usual method of waking him up, “Dad!” I hopped up on the bed and pressed my hands on his back, lightly bouncing up and down, like how I’ve seen Felix do to him. “Dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad!”

Suddenly I was tackled to the bed and I was looking up into the tired blue eyes of my surrogate father Roger Taylor.

“Even when you’re a parent, why must you still act like a child?”

“Maybe you should say that into a mirror? You literally did this to me just days ago when we were in Austria.”

“So Roger Taylor, how does it feel to be 37 years old? Feeling your age yet old timer?”

“Believe it or not I still got a spring in my step. I’m still in my 30’s and I still look attractive don’t you think?”

“Not as you once were in your 20’s I’m afraid. In fact I think I see some graying right here.” I teased as I brushed my fingers through the top right corner of his head through his short, ruffled hair.

“Okay that’s it!” he tackled me and proceeded to tickle my sides.  I shrieked and tried to get away from him but he kept a firm, strong grip around my waist. “Oh no you don’t get back here!”

“Dad! Nohohoho!”

“And don’t think you’ll be in the clear yet young lady. Once you reach your 30’s I’ll be teasing you endlessly.” He ceased his tickle attack leaving me a panting mess.

“Bitch please Freddie said I’m the eternal youth. I’ll age gracefully.”

“Nope you’re gonna get grey streaks and wrinkles and bags by the time you’re 34.” I shoved his shoulder and I said.

“I’d come up with far worse insults but I don’t want to be the cruel bitch because it’s your birthday.”

“That means you’ve got to treat me like the royal Queen I am.” He said as he lay sprawled out on his back like one of Freddie’s cats.

“Yes I will. Now get dressed yah wally and let’s get going.” I got out of his bed but I was pulled back in and I whined out. “Whaaaat?” dragging out the A.

“Before you leave, I would like a birthday kiss from my daughter.” I smiled before kissing his cheek.

“There, happy?”

“I expect more. One for each day of my age throughout the day.”

“Just be thankful I’m not doing what you do to me. Damn you for not being ticklish.”

“I’m so blessed.” He then pecked my cheek and allowed me to stand back up and I left his room to allow him to get dressed.  It took him awhile to get fully ready but he soon came out with a pair of jeans, blue and red and white stripped button up shirt (you know the one that really gives him that dad vibe), his black leather jacket, of course his shades and white sneakers.

“You ready?”

“I’m ready if you are my dear.” He said as he crooked his arm for me.  I slide my arm through his and we went on our merry way out into the beautiful country of Budapest.

So for the entire morning Roger and I did some sightseeing together and I showed him some of the best locations.  We went to the National museum of Fine Arts, saw some of the famed statues, and of course took advantage of seeing the new records shops they’ve been building.

Cause last time I ever came to Budapest, since they were still heavily influenced by the Communist party, they were slightly hesitant on letting record shops being a full fledged thing.  So the biggest record shop was probably no bigger than a comic book shop.  

But in the last few years with Communist party losing it’s harsh grip, the stores grew and actually took up an entire shop now.  So Rog and I checked out to see who all Hungary was being exposed to.

After getting some lunch at a great steakhouse I hailed down a cab for us because now it was time for Roger’s main surprise from me.

“Okay Rog now I want you to do something for me.”

“That depends on what it is. If it’s not allowing Kelly to stay with me after the tour forget it.”

“No nothing like that. Where we’re going next is a surprise, so I don’t want you to see it.” Taking out of my purse, I held out a long black sash and held it out to him. “Put it over your eyes.”

“You’re joking right?”

“No I told you I want it to be a surprise. I promise you this isn’t an attempt to kill you.”

“Yeah cause saying that makes me very sure.” He said sarcastically.

“C’mon Rog, when have I ever really let you down? Hmm?” he looked at me and I quirked my brow at him, kinda giving him my best Brian gaze.

“Promise me no tricks? That we’re not gonna go to somewhere boring.”

“I swear. In fact it’ll probably be hard to get you to leave.” He took the sash and removed his glasses and tied the sash over his eyes.  I told the driver the address and soon he took off driving.  As we drove on, Roger asked me as I fiddled with his shades.

“Can I at least be given a hint of where we’re going?”

“No can do.”

“But I’m the birthday boy, why keep it from me on my special day?”

“Because birthday boy, this is part of a surprise I have in store for you.” I said as I bopped his nose. “We’ll be there in like ten minutes. It’ll go by fast I promise.” Then to get his mind off of where we were going, I asked him what he planned to do after the tour was over.

That’s basically the whole conversation between us about what we’d be planning to do.  I told him that due to this tour, I had to miss all of Kelly’s first at this point and I refused to miss her first word or first steps so I hope to have a year maybe 2 yearlong break before I start doing anything else.

Because to be truthful, the longest break I had was probably 6 months and that’s when I had Kelly. So since I began my career, all I’ve been doing is album, tour, concerts, live performances, interviews, getting married, had a baby, tour again, record, make public appearances and be apart of other singer’s records.  All in the span of five years of my career.  I need a break.

“Miss, we’re here.” The driver told us.

“Thank you.” I thanked him as I opened the door.  I took Roger’s hand and gently guided him out of the cab.

“Can I take this damn thing off?”

“No, no not yet just wait like three more seconds.”

“Well I’m counting one, two…..”

“Roger!”

“Okay, okay.” I adjusted him and said.

“Okay, now you can take the blindfold off.” He took it off before putting his shades back on and it was then he saw that we had arrived at the Go-Kart race track.

Already thousands of people were gathered around with seats as a race was already in place.

“Oh my…..”

“Surprise! Yeah I found this when I first came here and thought it’d be a cool thing for us to do. Though sadly some of the producers from the filming of the concert are here too. Kinda wanted this to be just you and me.”

“It’s fine lovie. Thank you for bringing me here. So wanna have a race?”

“Yeah. Any excuse to beat you grandpa.”

“Grandpa?!” I grinned and the two of us raced on ahead towards the race track.

Once we got down to the track, we met up with some of the volunteers who work with the driver’s on the track and we got to chat with them.  They told us how to work the cars, which pedals were the gas and breaks, and how to work the stick shift since it was on the side next to the wheel.

We also signed a few autographs for either Queen or Rock Angel fans, which I never mind doing, and I also asked if one of the workers could take mine and Roger’s picture here at the track.  As Roger and I began to prep for the next race, I told him.

“You’re going down old man.”

“I wouldn’t say that bicyclist. Cause you’re about to eat my dust.”

“Cute pun Roger Taylah. But that won’t stop you. At this point you and I are mortal enemies, see you on the other side.” I lowered the screen protector of my helmet and turned my go-kart on and revved it just to taunt him.

As Roger, I and the other racers got into place, we waited for the light to tell us to go.  It went from red, to red, to yellow then finally green. Both Roger and I took off against the other racers leaving them practically in the dust leaving Roger and I to tie neck and neck.

By the first turn, he managed to get the upper hand but pressed down on the gas pedal and tried to catch up to him.  I soon cut him off and turned back to look at him and even though he couldn’t see it, he knew I was grinning at him.  I focused back forward, and I don’t even know how it happened but he somehow managed to drive ahead of me about 7 feet in front of me.

“Oh hell no!” I tried to catch up but no matter how fast I was going I wasn’t able to catch up with him. Unfortunately he won the first race and as the two of us circled in the cockpits, I removed my helmet and he got up beaming with cockiness as he said.

“Now what was it you had said earlier?”

“Very funny.”

“What was that come again?”

“Okay I had a default gearshift, and my engine spurted on that second turn which is why those guys were able to pass me.”

“So who’s the real grandpa now?” he bragged as he knelt down beside me.

“I want a rematch. Best 2 out of 3.”

“You’re on, but it’ll just end up the same way. You biting the dust.”

“Not for long car-boy.” I revved my engine and put my helmet back on and drove back towards the starting line.

Sadly I only won the last race as Roger had beaten me again.  Then being a good sport he figured possibly one last race would maybe get me another win but the little shithead knew he’d win so he won 3 of the four races we did.

As we drove away from the go-kart track and headed back into town, I sat there pouting as I leaned against the window.

“Aww c’mon love you did fine. In fact that last race you nearly had me.”

“Oh shove it yah car lover! This is why I prefer bikes. If it were a bike race I’d cream you!”

“You’d do worse than that. I could barely even get on a bike. But don’t be such a sore loser lovie.” I grumbled and turned away from him. “Wow, my own daughter giving me the cold shoulder on my own birthday. Whatever shall I do?” he then bumped seats over and sat right next to me and pressed himself against me.

“Get off!” I whined and tried to shove him off.

“Nope. Not gonna do it till my lion cub is happy again. She’s being a grumpy pants and I can’t have that, I won’t have it. Now c’mon give us a smile, please? For me?” I grumbled under my breath and refused to look at him.

It was then I felt him poke my sides making it tickle.  I held in a squeak and I muttered to him.

“Don’t you even dare!”

“Then give me a smile and I won’t. Also stop being such a spoil sport or I’ll tell Freddie. And believe me love he’s worse than me when it comes trying to make you smile.” He was right I’ll give him that.

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry I’m being a sore loser.”

“Well you’re still an adorable loser.”

“Dad!”

“You know I love you poppet. No matter if you beat me at something or I beat you.” He said with a kiss to my cheek.

“I know, and I love you too.” I kissed his cheek again and we continued on our drive back into town.

As the day went on, the sun was starting to set, I looked down at my watch and saw that it was getting close to party time.

“Hey dad, it’s getting pretty late why don’t we head back to the hotel?”

“Not getting bored of me already are yah?” he teased.

“Oh you know that’ll never happen. But I did promise Jack I would give him a call, maybe you can also get a birthday message from your goddaughter.”

“Why didn’t you say so let’s go!” next thing I knew I was being dragged along the sidewalks as the two of us raced back to the Four Seasons hotel.

We got back to my room and as he dialed my number to talk with his goddaughter, I silently slipped into the bathroom and changed into my party dress.  It wasn’t fancy-fancy just a simple dark blue dress, I changed into some black flats and as I quietly stepped out I could hear Roger once again cooing into the phone at my daughter.

“Aww lovie thank you so much. Yes I wish you could be here too.” As Roger continued to talk to my daughter, I wrote Roger a quick note before slipping out of my room and raced down the hallway towards the elevator and quickly pressed the up button. I tapped my foot anxiously hoping that I could disappear before Roger even noticed I was gone.

Finally I heard the ding and the elevator opened.  I got inside and pressed the Penthouse button and I went up the rest of the 8 stories up. When I got to the penthouse I could already hear some music and the sound of an already packed crowd of people inside the penthouse suite.

“Hello (y/n).”

“Terry. Freddie got you being watchdog for Roger?” I asked Freddie’s driver and bodyguard whose also served as my ‘temporary bodyguard’ shortly after my first one Big Rob had to retire due to health issues.  He had accompanied me during the tour just after my wedding and stayed with me up until Live Aid last year, before I finally found my current bodyguard Anthony “Big Tone” Pesci.

“Yep. I’ll radio in once I see him come out of the elevator, he’s not with you is he?”

“No he’s still in my room talking to Kelly.”

“How is that baby girl of yours anyway?”

“She’s great. God I can’t believe I had to miss her 8 month birthday. I just hope I can plan a hiatus just so that way I can stay with her for a year. I already had to miss most of her first few months because of this tour.”

“It’s hard. John was the same way when I first started working for Queen once his second son and daughter were born. Especially when Laura was born.”

“I’ll bet. God having kids really does change you doesn’t it?”

“Indeed it does. Well don’t wanna keep you waiting looking all beautiful like that, go on in.”

“Oh stop it Terry you’re making me blush.” I then went inside and low and behold there were people literally crowding the entire suite.  Not only from our team but also Hungarian press and reporters.

“(Y/n)!” I looked up and there I found that familiar tuff of black hair.  I smiled and waved and rushed over and hugged Dominque.

“Hey how was the flight?”

“Thankfully uneventful.”

“That’s good. Is Felix here?”

“Yeah he’s with Brian and Deacy. But how have you been?”

“Okay. Just really miss my baby girl.”

“I know. When Felix was first born Roger went crazy over missing him the first few months. Now that we have Rory ohh god—”

“Your parents babysitting her?”

“Yeah. Sadly the kid’s too small to fly first class.”

“Yeah otherwise we’d both have our baby girls here. Hell I’d take my kid on the road if I have to. But the road’s no place for babies, at least not yet.”

“LISTEN UP MY DARLINGS! LISTEN TO ME LOVIES! I just got a radio from Terry, Roger’s just getting out of the lift!” At this point everyone began to get into their hiding positions.  I ran with Dominque and the two of us hid behind the red sofa.  Brian switched off the lights leaving us in total darkness. Everyone trying to shush one another before we all finally fell silent.

The door opened and I could hear Roger say.

“Jesus it’s dark in here.” I saw his shadow walk further in the room before finally the lights came on and we all jumped out and yelled.

“SURPRISE!!!” Roger jumped back with a hand over his heart but had a wide smile on his face. Freddie came up with a glass of Hungarian vodka for Roger and he said.

“Surprised Roger?”

“God am I ever.” At that we all softly chuckled as Freddie handed him the shot glass and Roger took a swing of it.  He then spotted me and said. “This your idea?”

“You know me I’m nowhere near the party planner as Freddie is. I was just part of the distraction so that way he could get everything set up.” I told him.  He then turned to Dominque and he said.

“You came too?”

“You really didn’t think I’d miss your birthday did you?” she came around wrapped her arms around his neck and he wrapped his arms around her waist.

“Felix here too?”

“He’s with his uncles, I can take you there if you’d like. I think the boy needs to go to bed, poor little guy could barely keep his eyes open once we got off the plane.”

“Just like his dad.” I piped in.

“And his aunt for that matter.” Roger retaliated.  I playfully stuck my tongue at him and chuckled.

As the night went on, it was now time to cut the cake.  The hotel’s chefs brought it in and I was amazed at it.  It was a small 3 level, platform style vanilla cake with a sculpted Roger on the drums in chocolate, as well as decorated with chocolate musical notes.  And to make it very “Roger-y” there was even fire spurting out from the front ends of it, sparkling like sparklers on the 4th of July.

We all gathered around and proceeded to sing Happy Birthday to Roger.  I stood beside him so that he was sandwiched between me and Freddie. By the end of the song, he hugged and kissed my head first before turning to Freddie and hugged him.

“That’s the new drummer!” Freddie announced which made all of us laugh.  After that, I handed Roger the large cutting knife so that he could make the first cut of the cake.  

As we all gathered around the small cake, it was then Freddie said.

“Now I know you don’t like this Roger, but a girl is going to pop out of that.” At that point I just laughed and couldn’t help but roll my eyes.  If there were a girl in that cake then she’s have to be pixie sized like Tinkerbell. “Just try.”

“Not very big enough.” Roger said as the crowd all laughed and Roger took the first small cut and got his slice of the cake.  Then it was Dominque’s turn, then the guys, me and then the party guests.

There was mingling, dancing, and interviews going on.  I had just a bit of cake left to go over and tease Roger while he was on camera with the Hungarian press about why Queen had finally come to Hungary and what they got in return (why do I know this? Because they asked me the very same questions the first time I came here over three years ago).

I walked over as I heard Roger saying.

“There’s a tremendous feeling of sort of—I suppose job satisfaction. Is a strange way to put it.”

“It’s quite good to get job satisfaction after 14 years.” The interviewer asked Roger.

“Well it’s a pretty good job isn’t it?” at that point I dipped my finger into the vanilla frosting and came into the camera shot and bopped his nose before saying in a sing-song tone.

“Gotcha!” I grinned like the Cheshire cat at him and couldn’t help the giggles that came out of me.

“And of course this one makes it all the more traumatizing.” I gaped at him in mocked shock but he grinned and wrapped his arm around me and said, “No, no, no she makes it so much more fun. And she keeps us in line from killing each other.”

“That part is true.”

“So Rock Angel, a lot has happened since you were last here, what has returning to Hungary meant to you?” the interviewer asked me.

“Oh god well it has been awhile. In fact to be honest I was a little terrified cause there were still some doubt about letting Rock and roll into your country, but I was welcome with open arms by the majority of your people and now like three years later I’m welcome back like I’m visiting family again. Budapest has meant a lot to me and umm….I’m just happy to be back.”

“And with touring with one of the biggest bands of the world, what has that meant to you?”

“Oh these guys are my family. I—really wouldn’t know where I’d be if not for these four. They each inspired me all my life and I—I’m forever grateful to them.” Roger kissed my temple before getting his revenge by smearing a bit of cake onto my cheek. “Oh no you did not!”

“You bet your arse I did Angel.”

“You’re gonna get it Taylor!” Soon I chased after him with the actual cake in my hands.

The party was a huge success and everyone managed to get back to their hotel rooms even with as shitfaced as some of them were.  Roger and I were on the tipsy but still sober enough (since we all had the big concert tomorrow Queen and I made a pact to not get shitfaced so that way we could be presentable and show up for soundchecks tomorrow afternoon.)

“So birthday boy, did you have a fun night?”

“I did. Thank you soo much.”

“Oh hey I uhh—kinda swiped this away cause I wanted to sorta give it to you personally.” I held out my gift to him.

“I thought it was weird not seeing a present from you.” I handed it to him and we both sat down on the floor so that he could open it properly.  He tore the wrapping off and opened the box up to reveal an official signed copy of The Who’s last album before their breakup.

Apparently when I was recording with David Bowie on his album, I went to the coffee shop just down the road from the studio we were at and there I saw all members of “The Who” who were recording their own album in a separate studio.  We chatted a bit and I had asked them if they wouldn’t mind signing something for a father-figure in my life and amazingly they accepted.

“You’re a hard guy to shop for dad, cause you practically have everything so I—I hope this is okay.” He hugged me tightly and said.

“I love it darling. You knew they were my favorite band and hearing of their breakup made me in a foul mood for weeks. This really means a lot to me, even worth my entire home.”

“And your cars and yacht?”

“Even those lovie. Because it came from you. Although I would’ve been twice as happy if I had gotten your signed record.” He said as he cupped my chin and pressed his forehead against mine.  I smiled and felt him kiss my forehead.  “Get some sleep love, we’ve got a long day tomorrow.”

“I will, so long as you do as well.”

“I will. Goodnight love.”

“Night dad, happy birthday.” I gave him one last hug and he hugged me back, rocking us back and forth.

“Thank you my sweet lioness.” He gave me one final kiss on top of my head and headed down the hall towards his room.  I got into mine and did a quick shower and changed into my nightdress before finally getting into bed.

And as usual the next day was our concert.  We did our soundchecks at around 1pm and the stage crew got the entire stadium stage built throughout the entire afternoon.  Soundchecks started by about 7pm and then the concert began at 9pm.

As always the guys and I delivered a stellar performance that only Queen and the Rock Angel can do together.  We both even had a little surprise for the audience.  Freddie was performing the traditional Hungarian folk song “Tavaszi Szél Vizet Áraszt” and I with a translator, worked together in translating my song “Shallow” into Hungarian.

The two of us had been practicing our songs all day, he with Brian and I at the piano practicing by myself.  I would help him with some of the pronunciations of some of the words, and he’d help play the piano whenever I was distracted in trying to figure out how to say and play the words that were translated for me.  It was hard work but the two of us managed to do our songs for our beloved Hungarian fans.

By the end of the night, as me and the guys closed out with “We are the Champions” Freddie came out dolled up with the kingly robe and crown and he held the crown up to the audience before we finally closed the concert.  As the audience applauded us, I gathered with the guys to the edge of the stage as Freddie said into his mic.

“Goodnight, thank you very much. You beautiful people. God bless you we Love you.” As “God save the Queen” began playing I stood between Brian and Deacy as the three of us waved goodbye to the crowd.  While Freddie actually gave his crown and placed it on Roger’s head, however that only lasted like 2 seconds before it fell off his head and onto the lower segment of the stage.

I laughed and raced over to him and proclaimed.

“What was that Roger? Disrespecting the crown you royal fool!” he embraced me getting me even sweatier than I was at that point and I groaned in disgust leaving Deacy to pick up the crown and give it back to Freddie.  Deacy also spared me from Roger’s grip as he pulled me away and wrapped an arm protectively around me as the two of us waved the crowd goodbye before finally leaving the stage.

Another successful concert.  And with that we packed up our stuff, checked out of the hotel and went back on the road to our next gig.

[takemealivelh]

We’re not done here yet, okay?

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 9

2.3k | Mentions of alcohol, sex and cheating | FEEDBACK IS ENCOURAGED AND APPRECIATED

For the first time, I wasn’t able to know what was going through his mind, it both terrified and relieved me. I didn’t move, my jaw slightly trembled when his body got even closer to mine. His hand reached for my chin, and his lips crashed into mine.

Deep down I knew it was wrong, but I’ve always craved what I can’t have. His hands found shelter in the crook of my neck, I kissed him fast and furious. It felt epic, blood-rushing, stars-exploding, synths and strings playing in the back of my head, sinful. I wanted him all.

His lips were sober and my mind was lucid, my forbidden fruit tasted like heaven. For a moment, all these scenes flashed through my closed eyelids; holding hands in the queue of a coffee shop, cuddling on a winter day, playing with new sounds in the studio after rehearsal hours, fucking him deep in a hotel room in Germany. Then, his tongue traced my lower lip and my mind went blank.

“Luke?”

We pulled apart as soon as we heard the knock on the door. My heart started beating fast against the back of my jawline, recognizing Erin’s voice.

“Yeah!” Luke almost choked at the sudden intake of air. “In here!” He smoothed the wrinkles off his shirt where I had grabbed him, pulling his body closer to mine, wanting to melt him into my skin. His face visibly paled, I collected the heat in my own cheeks, burning red.

As soon as Erin stepped into the dressing room, I pulled out my phone and stared at the lock screen, pretending to be busy. Even if she hadn’t witnessed her boyfriend and his sound tech making out, I was sure she could perceive the tension in the space between us. If Luke was a good actor, I was not. Luke could keep his face straight for a long time just to keep a prank going, like that one time he and Ashton started a water balloon fight before the show in Glasgow. I almost ruined their plan because I couldn’t stop laughing or stuttering when someone asked me why the guys were taking so long in the bathroom.

Erin asked us if everything was alright, I saw the shadow of her moving body reach out to Luke and wrap an arm around his waist.

No words were necessary, our tongues had done enough.

I shook my head as if I’d just gotten an upsetting text and headed towards the door in silence, it was only when I heard my name on Luke’s lips that I stopped on my tracks.

“We’re not done here yet, okay?”

His arm was slouched over Erin’s shoulders, his eyes were dark with regret and hope. Her brows were furrowed together with worry.

I didn’t reply.

-

While the band walked the red carpet and gave similar answers to different interviewers, I was backstage with the crew of the venue. Men moved large equipment from one side of the stage to the other, women talked on their phones about strict schedules. Cameras were tested and microphones were checked for the hundredth time that day. I sat on a plastic chair, next to the mixer, going over the post-it notes I’d prepared with Michael and Calum earlier. Luke’s words had been haunting me since the moment they fell from his lips.

We’re not done here yet.

Did he mean that? What was he after? My mind was a whirlwind of thoughts. He had Erin but he wanted me. Was that it? After all this time, he still wanted me. Why? How? He’d told me himself that it was too hard to be with me, which was true. So, why did he want to go through that again?

Maybe he missed me as much as I missed him. It wasn’t fair to his girlfriend.

I pulled out my phone and looked for Erin’s Instagram. Pictures with her friends, pictures of her on the way to a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert. Fuck, I wanted to be her friend, I liked her. She seemed smart enough to know when to leave and yet, she was still with Luke. I was disappointed in his behaviour. I couldn’t believe he was still pulling childish acts out of his ass. Had he not learned anything?

But I still wanted him. Why?

Why did I suddenly have the need to be around him? Why did my skin itch at the thought of his fingers? Why did I want to hear every stupid joke, every silly anecdote, every clever idea that he had in his mind? Why now?

Because he has Erin.

I felt bad about wanting to go after him.

The night went by in a flash and suddenly it was 5SOS’ turn to perform. They gathered around the backstage area before going in, fist-bumping and wishing good luck to everyone, including me. Calum patted my back and Ashton gave me a weak smile before heading out to a cheering crowd. Michael checked the guitar volume in his in-ear and kissed my temple good luck as he’d grown accustomed to doing before any big gig. I slid the faders up to 0 and pressed play on the recording multitrack session.

Luke’s breathing against my earlobe almost made me collapse on top of the console.

“Meet me afterwards. We need to talk.”

His eyes lingered on me for the time it took him to walk onstage. I felt naked.

I liked it.

Talking was the last thing I wanted to do.

-

As soon as their performance was over and they rushed backstage to put the instruments away and to receive the compliments from the rest of the team, I saved the recorded act and made sure to have the mixer ready for the next sound guy. When I was done, 5SOS were back on their seats, surrounded by the other attendees.

I spent the rest of the ceremony in the dressing room, not doing much at all. I could’ve gone home, I could’ve hung out with the rest of the venue crew, I could’ve sat next to the stage and watched the rest of the performances. Instead, I waited for everyone by myself.

I waited for him.

I remembered our encounter back at Ashton’s place. Luke’s shirt gliding off his shoulders, his hands squeezing my thighs, his sloppy kisses on my lips… All my memory could do was complete the gaps between reality and my fantasies. Was this feeling anything more than lust? Maybe it was, but I wasn’t sure how to handle it.

Close to midnight, the show was still going. I decided to play around with the makeup and the little elastic ties I had in my backpack, along with ten spare plug cables and a Shure SM58 just in case. The lightning was enough to sit on the floor and re-do my look in the full-length mirror. I sat down with a bottle of beer I’d brought from the backstage area, and wondered if Luke thought I was sexy.

“It’s always nice to hear you’re sexy from another sexy person”

I scoffed the memory away. He was drunk and I am insecure.

“You’re a nice view, you know that?”

We’d been so close. So physically, flirtatiously close. Now I wanted every inch of space between us to disintegrate.

Yet again, the image of his girlfriend popped up in my head. I dropped my head down, ashamed, and scrolled through my phone one more time. The last picture she’d posted was of the venue we were currently in, before we’d even done the soundcheck. Luke’s laugh was frozen as he carried her piggyback style. A kiss to his cheek.

My heart sunk.

Erin had always seemed happy around him. She liked that Luke was goofy and that he was interested in her job and hobbies. She’d told me about one time he’d taken her out for her favourite food and they ended up drunk playing carnival games. I couldn’t understand how Luke could sweep her off her feet like that if his heart wasn’t fully into that relationship. But maybe I was imagining things, and Luke didn’t want me either, and he was just this fuckboy that I didn’t know he was...

My mind was spiralling out, going to ten different directions, all equally disturbing.

I looked at my reflection in the mirror, the reds and purples in my eyelids. I did want to impress Luke, I wanted him to be aroused by me.

Maybe I can only be with someone as the other woman. I pulled the costume quite well.

When the boys came back into the dressing room to pick up their stuff, Michael was the first one to notice me all dolled-up.

“Whoa,” he half laughed, half whistled. “Hot date after this? Isn't it a little late for a conversation?” Calum laughed behind him and pushed him towards the guitar case on the other end of the room. They were drunk. Michael’s eyes were droopy and Calum couldn’t stop fumbling with the pockets of his jacket.

I rolled my eyes, “who said anything about a conversation?” my tone was playful and teasing, knowing it would amuse them. Deep down, the guilt and confusion kept me glued to the wooden floor, still in front of the mirror.

Ashton was quick to pick on my remark. He seemed like the most put-together, but when he erupted in his signature giggles, I knew he was hammered as well. “Damn, boys! We got our girl here being a wild one tonight,” he smiled at me from behind. “We’re going to an after-party, you coming with us? Or is your lover boy meeting you somewhere else so we cannot intimidate him?”

That’s when I noticed Luke was leaning against the door, blue eyes going through my body like daggers. I could feel the exact point in the small of my waist where he was practically burning his mark on.

“Where’s Erin?”

At the mention of her name, I peeled my eyes away from the scene. Focusing back on the boxer braids I’d made earlier. They’d taken me at least 20 minutes per side and a 10-minute break in between, to rest my arms. As Luke explained that Erin had to be up early tomorrow, I caught him stealing glances at me through the mirror. He didn’t look drunk, which was weird, but also kind of nice. I re-applied the berry colour to my lips and smudged the edges with my fingertips.

“A’ight then,” Ashton shrugged with a sigh, “and hey, wild one,” he tapped my shoulder once I was back on my feet, fixing my backpack on my shoulder. “Great show tonight.”

“We were good,” I smiled at him.

“Yeah, we were.”

They were quick to say their goodbyes and rush out the door to the after-party, except for Luke. He shoved a hand in the pockets of his pants and rubbed his eye with the other. “Nah, Im’ma head back home. I'm tired.”

Calum, Michael and Ashton disappeared, their laughter echoed through the hall. Luke was still leaning against the door when he sighed. “I broke up with her.”

I remained silent.

He looked for the thoughts racing through my head, narrowing his eyes at me. I didn’t know how to react. I was both surprised and relieved. Both scared and excited. Awkwardly, I kept readjusting the straps of my backpack, not wanting to stay but not wanting to leave either.

“I didn’t want them on my case, you know how they are…” Luke turned his head to check the hallway. Empty. He took a few steps closer to me, I looked down at my feet. His boots came into view and I almost gasped when I felt the warmth of his body almost touching mine. “Right after we…” the faint laughter in his tone gave away that he was nervous.

Unknown territory for the both of us.

“She knew something was up, she…” he sighed and searched for my gaze, “please, look at me. This is really fucking hard, okay?” The soundwaves of his chuckle vibrated against my temple. I was twitching in place. “Please.”

Even though I’d only had one beer after their song had ended, I felt my skin buzzing. Chewing on my lower lip, trying to stay sane and adequate through it all, I looked at him. Curly hair tucked behind his ears, gold glitter along his cheekbones, long lashes framing his blue eyes...

“I want you.”

My breath got caught in my throat, almost choking me. “Luke, I-”

I tried to pull away from our closeness but he grabbed my arms and held me in place. He looked for the truth in my eyes as my name rolled off his tongue as if it belonged there.

“You were right. Fuck, all of you were. I know what you all were thinking about, that Erin was a rebound, that I wasn’t being fair to her, that-”

“Luke, you-”

“Let me finish!”

He let go of me and strode back to the door, closing it. I said nothing.

Here we were, alone again.

“I was a dick to Erin, I know that. I led her on when I didn’t mean it… Not because I didn’t enjoy her company, ‘cos I did…” Luke trailed off and shut his eyes hard, cursing himself under his breath. He started stuttering and I couldn’t make out the words coming out of his mouth. “Fuck!” he whispered and nearly threw a punch to the wall. “You’re making me go crazy, you know that? I tried to get over you, but…” Luke took a deep breath and let his back collapse against the door, his body quickly glided down until he was sitting with his head between his knees.  

I watched. Luke had never been this vulnerable, not around me at least.

His muffled laugh travelled to my ears, his gaze found me again. “Listen, I don’t know what to do. I’m so in love with you that it hurts...”

He made me weak. I dropped to my knees and tossed my backpack to the side, crawling towards him almost at the speed of light. His cheeks were hot against the palms of my hands, he looked into my eyes like a deer scared to be hit. I could sense the fear in his breathing, the dreadful idea of handing his heart to me and me destroying it. His eyes pleaded for mercy.

“I don’t… I love you, okay? I’m tired of pretending I don’t.”

My fingertips traced circles against his skin, my thumb grazing his lower lip. Luke closed his eyes and gave into my touch, leaning into it.

I wasn’t sure if I loved him, but I definitely cared for him. My heart was beating fast, my stomach was swirling with butterflies. It was clear that I fancied him, I loved spending time with him, I loved it when we were together being the dorks we were.

And I was as scared as he was.

Leaning against his lips, I took a deep breath against them, closing my eyes. “Don’t break my heart, Hemmings.”

“I wouldn’t dare to”

-

TAGLIST

@brown-eyedshell @thew0rldneedsmcreycghurt @myloverboyash @hopeless-renassianceluke @dukesnumber1 @rip-lukes-balsamic @angelbabylu @cal-pal-cuddles @ashtons-favorite @1dthewantedlove  @problematicprincessa@heartbreak-5sos @bloodmoonashton @lilacsos @irwinkitten @singt0mecalum@sublimehood @sugarcoated-pain @5sosnsfw @cal-puddies @lashtoncurls@cal-pal-cuddles @dweebluke @rosecoloredash @hotmessmichael@calumspeachy@ashtonsunshine @wonderland-irwin @irwinkitten@ashtonandcalslefthand @post-traumatic-mess @damselindistressanu @c-dizzle-swizzlex @mycollectionofnuts @calteahood

[stanleyurris]

2019 in review!!

i was tagged by @bevchie​ !! ty ily

i tag @gerardmoaning​ @mayashawkes​ @richie-toziers​ @ocdstan​ and anyone else who wants to do it!!!

top 5 films you watched in 2019:

the martian

bohemian rhapsody

love, simon

detective pikachu

knives out

top 5 tv shows you watched in 2019:

i didn’t rlly watch much tv lmao

the umbrella academy

stranger things

8 episodes of ahs

half of the first ep of daybreak and then twenty seconds of the third ep (it was to hear teenagers play and im not sorry)

the umbrella academy again

top 10 songs of 2019:

peach (lobotomy) by waterparks

choke by i don’t know how but they found me

walk man by tiny meat gang

like i love you by lost frequencies, the nghbrs

let’s kill tonight by panic! at the disco

king of the clouds by panic! at the disco

american boyfriend by kevin abstract

teenagers by my chemical romance

stay frosty royal milk tea by fall out boy

tia tamera by doja cat, rico nasty

top 5 books you read in 2019:

the martian by andy weir

the serpent king by jeff zentner

the stars beneath our feet by david barclay moore

they both die at the end by adam silvera

simon vs. the homo sapiens agenda by becky albertalli

5 good/positive things that happened to you in 2019:

i went to my first concerts ever!! they were rlly fun and cool!! (panic! and 5sos)

making this acc!!

seeing shazam, endgame, and it: chap 2 with my best friends and going to a concert with them :)

this is gonna sound lame but joining the book club at my high school because we’ve gotten to o on a fun field trip and when jeff zentner came to our school i got to get books signed by him

uh dyeing my hair like 6 times lmao

[doctorgerth]

o shit waddup

Hey, guys! Hope you’re all doing well today. I’m chilling at home, relaxing and working on some requests during my day off! I hope to get a good bit out for you guys today!

In the meantime, I wanted to give you guys a little info about me just because I feel weird not properly introducing myself to you all! If you’re not interested in getting to know me, I completely understand, I’m boring af lol but here’s some info on me. I’ll put it under “keep reading” since it is a bit long!

Name: You are more than welcome to call me Doc, as some of you have already! For a personal name, you can call me Coop. That’s what I’ve been referred to as the most on here and irl, but I will respond to either :) I’ll probably never reveal my real name on here, so don’t bother asking. Can’t have my true identity revealed!

Zodiac//MBTI: Cancer, INFJ

Age: I am currently 21, will be 22 on July 12th!

Brief Appearance: Uh, I have green eyes, long dirty-blonde hair (lots of ppl argue that I’m actually a brunette but I don’t think so) and I’m 5′9″ (1.753 meters). No tattoos, though I want to get at least one some day! Only piercings I have are my ears. I’m really basic looking lol 

Location: I reside in the hell fire that is the United States - a lot of you are from literally anywhere else, so I apologize if my blog seems too English driven for you? Or if my humor goes beyond your heads lol I completely understand. But, I’m willing to work through any language barriers with you if you’re willing to work with me!

School: I attend a university here in my state. I’m a senior, but I have one more semester left this fall before I intern! I’m studying Elementary Education, with a goal to teach grades 3rd-6th! 

Pets: I have two cats - a tuxedo cat named Percy and an orange tabby named Ace! He’s actually my boyfriend’s cat, but I claim Ace as mine too lol 

Work: Since you always hear me talking about work I figured I’d at least mention what I do. I currently work part-time at a grocery store where I take your money and bag your groceries lol. Tbh, it’s way better than working fast food, People are way nicer to me here than they were when I worked at Dairy Queen.

Fav Artists: Yo, this is honestly super hard considering my taste in music varies so greatly. Some of my current favs include: Marina, Lana del Rey, Billie Eilish, LANY, Florence and the Machine, Sam Smith, Hozier, Troye Sivan, Panic! at the Disco, and honestly sooooo many more 

One Piece: Soooo I absolutely refused to watch OP in the beginning because I was severely uninterested. My boyfriend practically made me one day and honestly I can’t thank him enough because I am now obsessedddd. So, I started OP back in like November of 2017, I officially caught up in the anime in February 2019! So it took like 1 year + 3 months to watch the whole thing (casual watching with only a few binges) and then I picked up where the anime left off in the manga so I am currently caught up in the manga as well!

Other Anime: I’m still new to the anime world, so I really haven’t seen a ton yet. Currently watching Black Clover! Other than that I have seen My Hero Academia, Bungo Stray Dogs, Seven Deadly Sins, and Assassination Classroom (not caught up). 

Random Facts: I play clarinet in my college’s marching/concert bands. I’m the oldest of three siblings. I love travelling and experiencing new places. I really enjoy fishing and kayaking or just being on the water in general! I’m obsessed with Disney World. 

Why I started this blog: Honestly, it’s just for fun! I’ve been perusing around tumblr looking at other OP blogs for a whileeee now, and after the help of some friends, I got the confidence to start my own! I used to write All Time Low, One Direction, and 5SOS fanfictions on Wattpad OOF so I’ve been in the ff game for a lil while now

Why Doctor Gerth?: Tbh there’s no major reason since we haven’t seen a whole lot of her in OP. I just thought she was a really unique character to use for tumblr considering not many ppl know her. When I saw her in the cover art, I was like, ‘this is what i would want to look like if i were in op’ so I just kinda went with that! I love that she’s a giant and a doctor! Reminds me of how tall I am and how I love to help people lol she just seems like a really sweet yet badass character and i love it. For those who don’t know, she is a doctor for the New Giant Warrior Pirates! She also knew Big Mom when they were both children.

Shoutouts: I’m feeling a lil emotional today, realizing just how quickly and easily I’ve made friends and supporters on here! I just want to give them a shout out cuz i love these kind souls.

@all-blue-headcanons

@doflomingos-glasses

@nightshine629

@thefreedomisouronlyrule-op (@rule987)

@laws-hat-headcanons (@arkanfire)

@madlymiho

@morikawahotaruotakuhime

@inma-r

@pinkhatlizzy

Thank you all so much for continuously supporting me and inspiring me! Without you guys, I probably never would have stuck to this blog, let alone even start it! Thanks for letting me fangirl and discuss OP with you constantly. And thanks for giving me ideas on stuff and helping me write OCs! It’s not much, but I just want to let you guys know how much you mean to me!! <3

And there you have it. Bless you if you managed to read all the way through this mess! Thank you all for sticking with me through this dumpster fire of a blog. I look forward to forming friendships with more of you guys in the future! Never be too shy to message me! If you have any further questions about me, feel free to ask. Now, I’m gonna stop distracting myself and get to work! x

- Doc

[mcsstydia]

I’m with you- Luke Hemmings

Request: ‘hello! ive recently gotten back into 5sos and i cant get the idea out of my head where luke’s maybe super neevous or insecure before a show, and maybe the reader’s in a band as well and goes on stage a little bit to sing with him because he can’t really calm down? then it’s all soft and he’s so thankful and cuddly and sweet:(’ requested by anon

prompt: the request

pairing: luke hemmings x reader

Warnings: mentions of anxiety 

A/N: wow I love my cutie Luke Hemmings

Masterlist in bio

“Let’s bring the boys on stage won’t we girls?”, you said into the mic and smirked as you heard the crowd screaming for your boyfriend and his band. You and your bandmembers laughed before playing your last song of the night.

Your band was the pre-act for your boyfriend’s band, also known as Five Seconds Of Summer. 

You and Luke had obviously met through your shared love and passion for music and your bands had travelled together for almost one year before Luke had finally had the courage to ask you out. 

Ever since then, the two of you were head over heels for each other and neither wanted to leave the other’s side for more time than absolutely necessary. You were there for each other in your darkest times because you both had demons that haunted you.

As you left the stage, you grabbed a small bottle of water and gulped down almost all the water in one gulp. You went along behind your bandmates into the room you shared before and after concerts. You plopped down onto one of the couches placed in the room and tried to catch your breath.

As you slowly regained your breath, you forrowed your eyebrows in confusion. Luke usually came to visit you right after your concert in the short time you two had together before he had to get on stage. 

It was already five minutes into the usual ten minute break between your two bands when you stood up to search for your boyfriend. You threw your long emptied bottle onto the couch as you exited the room and looked down the long hallway. 

You heard hushed, but excited talking coming from the room next to the one you were currently in; it was the boys’ room. You reached the room within a second and knocked before entering. 

The talking stopped as soon as you entered the room. You saw your boyfriend sitting on one of the couches, bent over, head in his hands. The sight of him obviously stressing over something set off anxiety in you as well. 

You sent a worried glance to his band members, who seemed just and worried and stressed. Ashton sat next to him while Michael and Calum stood next to or behind the couch, neither really knowing what to do. 

“What’s wrong?”, you asked. Luke’s gaze found yours and you could see how stressed and anxious he was. You approached him and sat down on the ground in front of him. You gently placed your hands on his knees. “Luke?”, you asked, his gaze again averted towards the floor. 

“Baby, look at me, please?”, you asked gently, reaching for his hand that was still messing with his curls. He let you pull his hand towards you and finally looked at you, tears filling his eyes. Your heart sank to the floor at this sight.

Your thumb gently rubbed over his hand as you took it into the both of your hands. “What’s wrong, darling?”, you asked again, looking him in the eyes, calmly. 

He took a deep breath and shakily breathed out before answering you. “It’s bad today. I- I mean, it’s so freaking bad today, I can’t- I can’t do this right now.”, he said, you could hear the stress emitting from his voice. 

You’ve dealt with these kind of situations before. It was his anxiety messing with his head right now, you knew it because of prior situations as well as having to deal with it yourself. 

“Baby, listen to me-”, you started, but Luke interrupted you. “No, no. No, Y/N, it’s so much worse than normally, I can’t do it,”, he started, then turned around towards his bandmates. “You guys have to perform without me today, I can’t do it.”, he said.

Loud protest immediately errupted and you tried to silence the boys as best as you could. 

“Luke.”, you demanded him looking at you instead of the ground for the third time in the last ten minutes. He followed your request and stared at you with those blue eyes, now filled with tears. 

“Those people out there, you know what? They’re here to see you, Luke. They’re here to hear you sing and to see you do what you love. you know why?”, you asked. “Because they love you, no matter what. And you know something else?”, you asked, looking down at him due to the fact that you had stooden up in order to silence the boys.

“I love you, Luke. I love you more than anything in the world and I know you. You’re strong and you can do it, because I believe in you.”, you said in a soothing voice, taking his face into your hands. 

He looked at you with those innocent, hurt eyes, before burrying his head into your stomach, hugging you. 

The three boys looked at you helplessly, as you were all asking yourselves whether you persuaded him to go on stage or not.

“I’m so scared. I’m so freaking nervous, and I don’t even know why. I’ve done this a thousand times before. But everything inside me right now tells me I can’t do it as well today.”, he explained, looking up to you as your hand slowly and gently went through his curls.

You looked into the eyes you fell in love with and thought about how to help the boy you loved.

“What if I come with you, huh?”, you asked, still playing with his hair. His eyes lit up and he smiled and nodded. “That would help, yes.”, he said. 

You smiled, “Good. Then let’s go, rocker boy, you should’ve been on stage five minutes ago.”, you said as you pulled him up from the couch. He lent down to you as soon as he stood to place a gentle, but lingering kiss onto your lips. You held onto the hand he placed on the side of your face. 

Together, the five of you went down that long hallway until you arrived at the edge of the stage. Luke suddenly stopped dead in his tracks, fear filling his veins again. You squeezed his hand as the others already prepared their instruments. 

“I’m with you, okay? Always.”, you clarified with your hand brushing his cheek. He closed his eyes, breathed out and then nodded with a small smile. YOu turned towards the other three boys and whispered something to them Luke couldn’t quite decipher. 

You turned to Luke again. “Ready?, you asked him. He nodded as you pulled him onto the stage. The crowd started screaming and cheering as they saw the five of you.

Anxiety started creeping up your insides- you had only been on stage with Luke for about fve times- but you couldn’t let the thoughts get the best of you, you had to help Luke get through this. 

You and Luke both held mics as the other three started getting ready as well. You sent them all an knowing glare and soon heard the all so a´familiar tunes of ‘Lie To Me’.

Although not even closely describing your relationship, this was a song that calmed both you and Luke down at times. You often sang it while brushing your teeth together or simply humming the melody while trying to sleep.

“I saw you looking brand new overnight

And I caught you looking too but you didn’t look twice

You look happy, oh, mmm

You look happy, oh”, you began singing, earning a loud applause from the audience, but you didn’t even noticed because you never once averted your gaze away from Luke’s eyes. He began smiling and you could physically see him relax.

“Flashing back to New York City

Changing flights so you stay with me

Remember thinking that I got this right”, you continued.

“C’mon baby, sing with me.”, you spoke into the mic, earning cheers from the audience. 

And then, finally, Luke’s voice began filling the arena together with yours.

“And now I wish we never met

‘Cause you’re too hard to forget”, you sang together, looking in each other in the eyes and smiling. 

You finished the rest of the song with Luke and noticed him finally looking at the crowd, noticing how much they loved hearing him sing. 

As the song finished and the screaming died off, he took the mic to his lips to say something. “Thank you, I love you guys. really, thank you,”, he began and the crowd started cheering in response.

“But I also have to thank my wonderful girlfriend over here, which I wouldn’t know how to live without and whom I love most in this world,”, he continued and pulled you towards him.

The audience started screaming and he placed a kiss on the top of your head. “I love you, thank you.”, he whispered into your ear before giving you a short kiss.

[boyfriend-cal]

I was tagged by the so so kind and so amazing @calumsnatchedmyheart ❤️ thank u!! I love tag games (I also want everyone to know I’m BIG DUMB and have tried doing this three times bc I forget to save it)

Nickname: my family nickname is sugarbear but I don’t have one for my friends bc idk no ones ever given me one ??

Gender: female

Height: 5′4

Time: 12:21am

Where I’m From: Arkansas

Hogwarts House: Slytherin

Favorite Animals: Dogs & Guinea Pigs!! (Cats is not here just bc I’ve never owned one but I think they’re so pretty)

Favorite Bands/Artists: mains rn are 5sos, Shawn Mendes, & Kacey Musgraves but like everyone says there’s always too many to list

Favorite Food: pepperoni pizza or cheese fries

Song Stuck In My Head: Your Song by Elton John

Last Movie I Saw: Toy Story 4

Last Thing I Googled: The difference between alligators & crocodiles

Other Blogs: none other than one just to save the url

Do I Get Asks: no :( I’ve gotten like 3 total?? pls send me some!!

Why This URL: bc I wish Calum was my boyfriend and also the pics of him looking like boyfriend material are my fav

Number Of Blankets: 1 on my bed and I have a basket that has like 4 or 5 in it next to my bed

Followers: only 64 haha

Following: 98 (send me more people to follow!)

Lucky Number: 14

What Am I Wearing: A yellow T-shirt with dog on it and grey leggings

Average Amount Of Sleep: 9-10hours I sleep SO much

Dream Job: literally no idea, rn doing nothing sounds good 😂

Dream Trip: I’ve been “planning” a trip to Australia since I was 11

Instruments: none, used to play clarinet but I literally lost the instrument itself so that’s gone

Eye Color: brown

Hair Color: brown

Aesthetics: ...I don’t know? smiles, confusion, sleepiness (idk how to describe aesthetics in case anyone didn’t know)

Languages I Speak: english

When I Created This Account: I don’t remember honestly

Best Memory: uhm the take me home tour concert I went to in 2013 was great

Best Pun: Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She ran away from the ball.

Random Fact: if I read a message and don’t reply it’s bc I feel like it’s time for the conversation to move to a different subject but idk if the person still wants to talk to me so I don’t answer

I tag @babe-ylon @sunsetreading @easierforcalum @sunny-sos (if you’ve already done it or already been tagged, whoops!)

[gvflvr]

Tag Game!

I was tagged by @obetrol-and-cocktails

Rules: answer 21 questions and then tag 21 people who you want to get to know better

Nickname: halez

Zodiac: pisces

Height: 5.5

Last movie I saw: Isn’t It Romantic on valentine’s day (liam hemsworth looks like a beautiful greek god in this movie btw)

Last thing I googled: lmaoo “lil dicky jewish” I was drunk last night and my roommate didn’t believe me that he was jewish

Favorite musicians: ac/dc, black sabbath, queen, greta van fleet, harry styles, eminem, beastie boys childish gambino, jonas brothers, one direction, 5sos, the list goes on forever honestly

Song stuck in my head: the jurassic park theme song (WHHYYYYYY THOOOOO????)

Other blogs: my main is @iridescent-by-nature , so if you get likes/replies from that, it me. random queen side blog that I barely use @qwenbb ..I also have one for future interior design inspo and I used to have a one direction blog in high school

Do I get asks: not on this blog, I only started it a month ago. But please send me messages bc I love friends!!!

Blogs following: 74

Amount of sleep: sometimes 3 hours, sometimes 13 hours ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Lucky number: 14 I guess

What I’m wearing: amine concert tee and my boyfriends sweats that I stole

Dream job: something in the music industry, or maybe event planning

Dream trip: France, England

Favorite food: pizza sounds good rn

Play any instruments: I used to do percussion, but I stopped and I wish I continued bc that would be sick

Languages: English & I took four years of french in high school

Favorite songs: yikes.. here’s a couple that get me PUMPED : war pigs-black sabbath, all right now-free, run to the hills-iron maiden, high voltage-ac/dc, regulate-warren g, red velvet-r5, girls @-joey purp, love me-the 1975

Random fact: I studied abroad last in italy last spring and there was a rock festival in florence. I wanted to go so bad bc ozzy was headlining, but I didn’t have anyone to go with, so I took a chance and went. I didn’t speak any italian and it was 90degrees and I was alone with a bunch of old men but damn it was one of the best expereiences of my life. I actually cried most of the time and it was beautiful. so now I prefer to go to concerts alone.

Describe yourself as aesthetic things: watching sunsets on in the beach, warm fuzzy blankets, belly laughs, oversized sweaters, citrus scented candles, snuggles on the couch, playing your fave song on full volume

tagging: uhh I think everyone has been tagged, sorry I’m new to the gvf tumblr game, but if anyone wants to do it for funsies, tag me so I can learn more about you!!

[dream-a-little-bigger-x]

I’m Always Gonna Want You Back - Calum Hood | Part 2

@ttrill-makeup asked for a part two and I’m bored, so here ya go! 

Summary: Calum and Y/N bump into each other after six months of being apart. They decide to have a chat after Calum’s show and talk things out. 

Words: 1344

A/N: Hope this quenches your thirst hahah ;)

Y/N’s POV

I wish I hadn’t come out and gone to the concert with some of my girlfriends. But we had bought tickets long before Calum and I broke up, so I couldn’t get out of it. Plus, I’d been locking myself up for the past few months because I hated myself for breaking up with Calum and because I missed him so dearly. I tried to move on, I really did. But it just didn’t work out. Everywhere I went, I thought of him. I thought of his dark brown eyes whenever I saw a puppy on the street, I thought of his gorgeous golden skin when the sun was setting, and it gave the neighborhood a certain golden glow. Everything reminded me of him. And it certainly didn’t help that I dreamt of him nearly every night. I got to admit, I want him back. I trail behind the group of girls I came with. They seemed excited, and I got to admit, I was a little excited too. But most of all, I was anxious. I was so scared of Calum seeing me somewhere, somehow and seeing his heart break like that night when I broke up with him. “Come on, girl! Try and have some fun at least!” Alexia, your best friend, nudges you with her elbow as we entered the venue. I look up at her – she’s much taller than I am – and give her a smile, or at least try to smile convincingly. “I know it’s a little awkward being at your ex’s show, but you love this band and you love their music. So, push away the thought of seeing Calum and just have some fun,” she tries in hopes to cheer me up a bit. It did help slightly. But only slightly. The second the lights go out and everyone around me start cheering loudly, I feel my heart beating in my throat. He won’t see me if I just stayed here, right? “Let’s get to the front!” Rosa, another one of your friends shouted. Without waiting for a response from you, Alexia grabs your hand and Rosa’s, and leads you between the sea of people, giving you dirty looks for pushing them aside. I come to a stop, and when I look up, Calum’s standing right in front of me. He looks even better than he did when I weas dating him. His hair looks great, his outfit is on point, and his smile is brighter than it has ever been. In summary: he’s glowing and healthy. It makes me regret breaking up with him even more. After they sung the first song, Calum suddenly makes eye contact with me. The both of us freeze as Luke’s voice sounds through the speakers somewhere in the distance. My hearing is gone, and the only thing I see is him; my ex-boyfriend. Right there in front of me, looking better than ever. He tears his gaze off me and leaves me feeling strange. There’s this weird fluttery feeling in the pit of my stomach. It kind of feels like being in love for the first time and your heart breaking at the same time. For the rest of the show, Calum keeps glancing over at me. I’m not sure if it’s to make sure it’s me, to make sure I’m having fun or because he’s thinking about how to kill me and dispose of my body after the show. It’s when he bends down in front of me that Iyou know it’s one of the first two options. “Could you come backstage after the show, please?” he practically has to scream over the music. I take in a sharp breath, I almost forgot how sexy his husky voice sounds. I simply nod in response, to which he gives a small smile before getting back up and continuing his show. Right when the lights turn back on, someone taps me on my shoulder. I turn around, only to find Dave, 5SOS’ security, standing behind me. He gives me a wide smile before opening his arms for a hug, which I happily accept. Dave and I spent a lot of time together when I did come on tour with the boys. He used to be my only friend at some points. “Let me get you backstage,” he then says with a smile, “Your friends can come too,” he says, nodding to the girls behind me. I glance back and give them an acknowledging nod before all of us follow Dave backstage. “Y/N!” someone shouts excitedly the minute I step foot backstage. I turn my head to find both Luke and Ashton run up to my and engulf me into a hug, both at the same time. I let out a loud laugh as I throw my arms around the two boys too. “Hi, guys!” I greet them. The two of them let me go and I find Michael walking up to me. I give him a hug too and when everyone subtly walks away, leaving me all by myself, I see Calum standing a few feet away from me. He’s a vision. Wow. He shyly smiles at me before stepping forward. “Hi, Y/N,” he greets. I smile a little too. “Hi, Cal,” I say back, “Amazing show tonight,” I compliment, pointing back to the venue where we’d just come out. He averts his gaze to his feet, and I’m pretty sure he’s blushing a little too. “Thanks. Thank you for coming too, by the way,” I give him another smile. “That’s alright. Needed to get out of the house anyway,” I shrug, shoving my hands into the pockets of my jean jacket. “Oh, right…” he mumbles, averting his eyes from mine again. It kind of makes me feel nervous. I need to tell him the truth, so we can talk this out. I draw in a deep breath and shut my eyes for a moment. Just when I open my eyes and mouth to say something, Calum does instead. “I’m sorry about everything, Y/N. I know I should’ve made more time for you, for calls and stuff, I know I should’ve come home a little more often between shows to see you or even fly you out for some. I’m sorry I ruined everything by not giving you the time and attention you deserved. But the truth is, I can’t live without you, Y/N. I’ve been so miserable without you. Wherever I was, I was constantly thinking about you and everything reminded me of you. It’s been horrible and I—” I couldn’t hold it anymore and just launched forward and kissed him on the lips to shut him up. “Can we please work this out somehow?” I ask him when we pull away, but still keeping our foreheads pressed together. Calum nods his head, his forehead softly rubbing against mine. “I’ve been miserable without you too, Calum. I couldn’t sleep, breathe or eat. Everything reminded me of you too, even the fucking rain somehow reminded me of you,” he chuckles when I say that, “I love you so damn much, Calum and I hope you can forgive me too for the mistakes I made. Please, take me back?” I sound desperate, but I am a little. I need him in my life to function properly. I need him to cuddle me to sleep or sing me to sleep over facetime. “No matter where I go, baby. I’m always gonna want you back,” he whispers before pressing his lips to mine again. For once in those six months, I feel whole again. Like all the broken pieces have somehow mended and my open wounds have been stitched. All those endless nights of crying and cuddling my pillow in hopes that would make my brain go to sleep have been long forgotten. And even the times I sat on the couch, not knowing what to do with my fingers as I would always play with Calum’s hair, were completely erased from my memory. Everything felt alright again. Everything was okay.

[purplesurveys]

411

Do you have any old calendars in your room? I have old planners from 2012-2017 if they count as calendars. Do you have any exercise equipment you just hang clothes on? I don’t even have exercise equipment of my own at all haha. Even if I did though I don’t think I’d be that messy. What do you like best about yourself? I’m quite detail-oriented. I can be crazy about it but I’d take it over being inattentive any day. What was the last movie you saw in theaters? I *think* it was Rainbow’s Sunset. It had such potential for a Filipino LGBT film, but they squashed it so bad. Is there a certain breed of dog you just can't stand? Fucking chihuahuas. I never want one of those near me lmao. I MEAN I’d save one of them if they were dying or starving, but I generally just hate their attitude.

Do you own any stuffed animals? I don’t, but my sister is nuts about them. She buys a new one every time we go to the mall. How long until your next birthday? Three weeks till I’m 21 bound. When was the last time you had peanut butter? I’m not so sure. I don’t really like when it’s a spread, but I will have peanut butter-flavored anything. Obama: Love him or hate him? As an observer from the outside, I love him. He’s at least better than the shitshow y’all had elected three years ago. Do you try to blend in with the crowd, or prefer to stand out? I just do my own thing and wouldn’t really care if I ended up as the former or the latter. Say something about the last person to comment you on myspace: What was the last book you read? Idk, something for my Pol Sci class if that counts. How are you currently feeling at the moment? I’m a little hungover and sleepy and I need sloppy hangover food right now, but it’s nothing serious. And the reason for that feeling? I drank so much last night and ate very little. Do you ever feel like you should have been born in a different decade? No, I’m fine where I’m at. Do you like the winter? I would probably like it if I got to experience it. Do you currently have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Yes. Will that be changing anytime soon? Highly doubt it. What was the last thing you bought? How much did you spend on it? A pitcher of some cocktail. I don’t even remember how much it was, I just kept pulling out money last night. Are you a Twilight fan? YESSSSSSSSSSSSS If so, have you seen the movie yet? I’ve seen the first one a literal hundred times. I know every word to it. How many profile views do you have on MySpace? What do you currently hear? There was a tricycle (or a motorcycle?) that zoomed past the house just now and I heard its engine. Anything hurting on you right now? Just my stomach because it feels empty.

When was the last time you sent someone a letter in the mail? Wow uhhh never haha. Do you like video games? I can appreciate them, but I don’t play them myself. Anything you're looking forward to? I’m watching the UP/ADMU volleyball game laterrrrr and I’m super excited for it. Are you currently missing someone? Kind of. Anything you're wanting to say to someone right now? Sure. Do you have anything in your room that has penguins on it? I doubt it. Are you any good at HTML? I used to be when I would edit my themes on Tumblr. I barely remember any of those tricks now. Do you like the band Mae? (They're amazing!) Never heard. Have you ever kissed someone who had braces? Yes. Funny feeling, but it’s cute. What's your favorite fruit? I hate fruit!!! If you could dye your hair any color, what color would it be? This was also asked in the previous survey. Dark green. What's the most random thing in your room? I have a weird inflated figure of a pig on top of my closet. I won it at an arcade. Do you say "like" too much? Yeah I think so. In your opinion, what's the worst music genre out there? I’m not gonna shit on an entire genre and call it the worst lol. I can live without country, though. What was the last thing you ate? One of the basic burgers at McDonald’s and their fries. Are you currently on a diet? Nope. Have you ever experienced true love? What I’ve been experiencing for three years feels like it, but I don’t really like to claim it - the idea of ~true love~ is very subjective. What's the longest relationship you've been in? Three years.

What are your plans for Thanksgiving? (Assuming you celebrate it, that is) What does your last text say? “I’ll excuse us.” Do you believe in evolution or Creation? Evolution. Duh? Have you ever been to any concerts? Which ones? Paramore two times, One Direction, Coldplay (from the fifth floor of a parking lot), a whole bunch of local gigs. Who was the last person to smack your booty? Probs Gab. Bright colors or pastels? Pastels! What's something you're really wanting right now? HANGOVER FOOD. I need a really greasy fried chicken with nachos and a burger right now, fuuuuuuuck. I’m so hungry. Do you like Paramore? OMG I didn’t know this question was going to be on here :(((((( I LOVE THEM On average, how much TV do you watch each day? 0. Do you need to do laundry? I don’t do laundry. Do you download songs illegally? (i.e. Limewire) I used to, but now I just do Spotify. Do you play any instruments? I can’t. I was not blessed in that department. If not, do you wish you did? Of course I do. I would have loved to know how to play the piano or the violin. What was the last song/songs you listened to on repeat? Lie To Me by 5SOS. Who are your top friends? QUICK! The world is ending!!! Fish or chicken??? Chicken. Anywho, when was the last time you went out on a date? Last Thursday. Gab and I had Yabu for dinner - been legit a long while since we had a proper dinner like that. Pants or shorts? Shorts. Do you need to pee? Not right now. Plans for tomorrow? Study! Gotta bounce back after this shitty week. When was the last time you colored in a coloring book? December. I invested in several adult coloring books at the time to help cope with my annual Christmas depression thing. Are you really a kid at heart? I can be.

[cashtonwoah-blog]

Ashton Irwin, A Million Miles, Part 3

I finally got around to writing this part! Sorry it sucks, enjoy!

*beep beep*

*beep beep*

I could hear machines around me beeping. I attempted to crack open my eyes, and was met by an unpleasant bright light. I attempted to lift my head, but felt dizzy as my head moved from the pillow.

" baby don't move" I could hear someone say to me softly beside me. I attempted to lift my head again to see who was speaking, but felt an incredible amount of pain. I decided to shut my eyes, feeling tears fill them. I could faintly see a shadow casting over my eyes. I opened my eyes, and was met by a Hazel eyed boy staring at me.

"Ash?" I mumbled.

The boy sighed deeply, smiling as he looked at me.

"Y/N, I'm glad you're okay".

"What happened? I remember we were eating breakfast, then we argued and then I went back to the flat an-" I mumbled.

"You had an asthma attack. A serious one" Ashton interrupted. "I managed to get into your apartment just after you collapsed and carried you here to the hospital".

"Oh" I mumbled. I looked up at my surroundings, and all of a sudden felt stiff, like I couldn't move my body.

"They put your neck in a brace just in case, I heard you collapse as I ran to your apartment stairs, you hit the glass dining table as you fell" he said.

"Am I gonna be okay?" I questioned, feeling scared.

"You're gonna be just fine, kid" he replied, smiling and running a finger along my cheek. "Look, about what happened, I-"

"Ash, just forget it. Yeah you hurt me, but maybe we should just let it go for now, at least until I'm out of here" I replied sighing.

"Okay" was all he could reply.

************

"Welcome home Y/N!" I heard the other 5SOS boys scream as you entered the flat. I looked around, and could see all of the boys with their girlfriends, plus gifts and food on the table.

"Thanks guys, but you didn't need to throw a party because I live another day" I laughed.

"We're just glad you're home safe" Calum spoke, handing me a card signed by all the boys.

"We've bought you food, we'll leave you both in peace to chat" Luke said softly, not making eye contact at me. I could feel his awkwardness around me. Ever since our last conversation, I'd chose to ignore him. He was supposed to be my best friend and he didn't ever tell me when my boyfriend cheated on me. I didn't know how I was going to forgive him. All the boys and their girlfriends left the flat, leaving just Ashton and me.

"So" Ashton sighed awkwardly.

"Yup" I replied, sitting down on the couch.

"Listen, I really want to talk to you about what happened" Ashton said, looking directly at me. My eyes scanned to the floor, feeling anxious to hear what came out of his mouth next.

"Okay" was all I could manage to say. Part of me wanted to know exactly what happened, whilst the other part didn't want any thoughts associated with it.

Ashton took a deep breath, walked over to me and sat on the sofa next to me.

"It was after a show in New York. We'd just played a sell out arena and was feeling amazing, but I felt low because you weren't with me. I sat looking at the other boys who got to share such a special concert with their other half's, but not me. I decided to get stupid wasted, drinking copious amounts of beer, vodka, champagne, you name it. It wasn't until I stood up I realised how drunk I was. I stumbled over to the bathroom, and met some girl in the corridor. She was wearing one of our merch tops that was ripped on her chest. She asked me to sign her chest, which I did".

I clenched my teeth at the last part.

"She then pushed me into a corner, wrapping her arms around my neck, asking if I was single. Me being so drunk and wanting this girl to get off me, I said yes. She then proceeded to kiss me, and wouldn't get off. I then pushed her off me, and stumbled back to my apartment. I walked in the front entrance and saw her, the fan. She then invited her self in, and, um, well-"

"I think I can guess what happened next Ashton" I spoke, standing up and walking to my bedroom. I could feel my eyes beginning to form with tears, knowing what this girl had done with him. I felt sick. Yes Ashton had cheated on me, but this girl took him when he was vulnerable.  I walked back into the room, and was met by a sobbing Ashton on the sofa. I walked over to him, wrapping my arms tightly around his back in a hug. I cried onto his shoulder, unsure what to say.

"Y/N please don't think badly of me. I'm so fucking sorry for everything I put you through because I ended it, but in truth I just couldn't face anyone".

"Ashton" I sobbed, not wanting him to continue talking. All I could do was embrace him, stop him from feeling upset.

"This so called fan turned up at another one of our after shows, but this time I was sober. Luke however wasn't, and decided to throw his entire drink over her and kick her out, as well as blacklist her from every party, event or concert. I'm just mad at myself for letting her do this to us. I'm so sorry".

********

"Fuck sake Ash!" I could hear Luke scream at the other side of the field. I laughed from the side lines, watching the boys play football. We were in Madrid, and 5SOS had just played a gig in the city. I decided to join the boys on tour, to clear my head following the past few months. Ashton and I had decided to take some time apart before the tour, to allow ourselves to both mentally heal. Now on tour, we felt stronger than ever.

"Y/N come in goal!" Calum screamed at me, beckoning me over to the pitch. I laughed, running over to the goal. On Calum's team was Michael, Crystal, Sierra and now me. On Luke's team was Ashton, Andy, Mitchy and Jack, Luke's brother. I watched steady from the goal, unable to track where the ball would go to next. I laughed as Ashton tackled Calum hard, making him fall to the ground.

"HEY, foul!" I shouted from my goal.

"Shut up Y/N, stop pretending you know the rules of football" Mitchy shouted.

"HEY don't talk to her like that" Ashton laughed, roughly tackling Mitchy to the floor.

******

I sat round the table, pouring myself another glass of wine. Ashton had requested to take me out for dinner tonight, and I couldn't decline. The restaurant was a beautiful small place with fairy lights everywhere, just along the beach front.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry I put you through everything recently. It wasnt my intention to hurt you." Ashton said sadly.

"Ash, as I've said to you before, it's all OK. You don't need to keep apologising." I reassured him, placing my hand over his, giving it a light squeeze.

"We're good, right?" Ashton said.

"Of course we are babe, now eat your dinner, don't let it get cold" I said, taking another sip of my wine.