#but then I remember all of this is temporary

[coliessions]

friday. it had only been six days, yet you were convinced.

one week wasn’t a long time—not in the grand scheme of things. but with suguru geto, time bent, stretched, and folded into itself, creating something endless in the span of mere days. everything with him was so easy, so natural. like you had known him forever.

you had always been an observer of love, never quite falling in, never quite believing in the way people drowned in it so fast. but suguru had made it feel like the most effortless thing. a puzzle piece you never knew was missing until it fit so perfectly against you.

he wasn’t just there—he was everywhere. in the teasing quips exchanged over shared meals, in the way he remembered the smallest things you mentioned offhand, in the texts that never left you waiting. you’d never known someone to return your energy so completely, to match your thoughts like they had been his all along.

so friday came, and you had already made up your mind.

but suguru had a clock. your one week was almost up.

saturday, you watched him with your heart in your throat. the warmth of the week still lingered in his gaze, in the way he stood so close, in the way he pulled you into another moment that made you feel like maybe—just maybe—this wasn’t temporary.

and then sunday arrived. the last day.

it should have felt normal. nothing had changed, after all. suguru was still suguru. his voice still laced with honey when he spoke to you, his presence still magnetic. and yet, there was something in the air that hadn't been there before. a finality you couldn’t quite place.

you told yourself you were imagining it. that you were being dramatic. but when the night rolled in and you found yourself beside him, you knew.

"suguru," you started, feeling the weight of the question before you even asked it, "what happens now?"

his silence was telling. so was the way he looked away, inhaling like he was about to speak, only to exhale instead.

"this past week..." he said softly, rolling the words in his mouth like he was trying to savor them one last time. "it was amazing."

was. past tense.

"but?"

his jaw clenched, and that was the final confirmation.

"i can't."

two words, spoken so gently it made them hurt even more.

you already knew what he meant, but the silence stretched so long between you that you forced yourself to ask anyway. "why?"

he sighed, like the answer was obvious, like it wasn’t tearing something apart inside of him too. "there's too much at stake. my career. my friends. myself."

you swallowed around the lump in your throat. "and me?"

his lips parted slightly before he pressed them shut, gaze flickering with something that almost looked like guilt. "you deserve more than half of someone."

but that was the thing, wasn’t it? for one week, he had given you everything. and now, he was taking it all back.

you should have seen it coming. because a fire that bright was never meant to last. because love that felt like fate shouldn't have had a countdown. but it did. and you weren't above it.

suguru geto had a clock.

and your time was up.

[heykaya]

Happy to see you posting again!

Can I ask why Alex is your favorite?

hehe glad I was missed :3

Reasons I love Alex:

Gives you a job.

Gives you part of his farm.

Gives you a safe place to live and a room of your own, even before you romance him.

Will never rape you.

Will drop everything to run over and save you.

DOL-town royalty is threatening me (a teenager)? Lol let me tell Remy to fuck off.

Will also tell Bailey to fuck off to protect you, even to his own detriment.

Hard working and muscular.

Muscular.

Muscular.

Cooks you breakfast every morning, even at Max dom.

Gently bumps his head against yours.

Will spank you (at high dom).

Will eat you for breakfast (at low dom).

Scenic horse riding dates.

Smart enough to make drugs.

Comes from a family of farmers, still humble enough to listen to PC’s Tending tips.

Introduces you to his father who gives you $10k.

Actually has social skills and isn’t afraid to talk to people on the phone.

Is funny + can dance.

He’s such a good dad 😭

(Also I’m into that housewife tradlife thing. I used to go for Eden but he’s pretty boring tbh. Plus, Alex cooks you breakfast while Eden feeds you his leftovers. seriously wtf is up with that?!)

Like his dad says, he is dogged (super stubborn and persistent). PC has the option to stop Alex from being so fucking insane. Pulling him back from fighting a group of Remy’s goons, discouraging him from drinking so much and dealing drugs - they all reduce his Love. It doesn’t make him happy, but imo it’s what’s best for him. But since this is a game where even the bad ends are temporary, I join in on the crazy shit.

His biggest flaw is paying PC less at high dominance. I’m willing to overlook this because of the super hot spanking scene + you can make a shitload of money from the fields anyway. If he makes you mad you can call him a weak little bitch during encounters lol (his insecurity is strength).

Fr despite all of Alex’s abilities, I don’t think he’d be able to flourish and protect the farm from Remy without PC’s help. An orphan and a struggling farmer. One found a safe home and a family, the other made his dreams a reality. And together, they lived happily ever after :D

As happily as you can in DOL-town, at least.

(Also to comment on the others)

Robin:

Initially found him cute, but the more I got to know him the less I like him.

Literally PC's babies are less demanding than Robin.

Robin does not deserve confidence.

Whitney

The only thing he awakens in me is violence.

Dismissed every time no mercy gg

I agree he's super hot though. I'll enjoy him via fanart instead.

Eden

(see above)

Avery

He shows up once a week, gives me money, and fucks off. Very appealing!

I think he's OK. Just remember that he's incapable of truly loving PC.

As a source of income he's fine. As a lover no because of above + his dates are really repetitive.

Kylar

This guy should not be outside.

Sydney

He's very sweet and I get the appeal, but he's not my type.

[bitchinbarzal]

Yacht | N Hischier

summary: a tweet about nico’s off season escapades hurts you.

-

The first time Nico calls, you don’t answer.

The second time, you silence your phone.

By the third, you block his number.

It’s not that you owe him anything — you weren’t exclusive, weren’t serious, weren’t anything more than stolen nights and tangled sheets before he left for Switzerland.

That was the unspoken agreement. No promises. No expectations. Just something fun while it lasted.

And yet, when you see the tweet — Nico Hischier spotted on a yacht in Ibiza with a mystery woman — something inside you cracks.

You stare at the photo attached, your stomach twisting. His back is turned to the camera, but you’d recognize him anywhere—the sharp lines of his shoulders, the curve of his neck. He’s leaning close to a brunette in a bikini, her hand pressed to his chest like she belongs there.

Like he’s hers.

It shouldn’t bother you. It really, really shouldn’t.

But it does.

So you do the only thing that makes sense: you stop answering his calls. Stop replying to his texts. Stop giving him any piece of you at all.

And when John asks you out in late July, you say yes.

It’s easy with John. Simple.

There are no blurred lines, no unspoken rules, no waiting around for the other shoe to drop. He shows up when he says he will, texts you good morning and goodnight. He doesn’t make you feel like an option, like something temporary.

Most days, that’s enough.

And then September comes.

You know Nico is back in New Jersey before you even see him. He’s hard to avoid when his face is plastered all over social media — first day back on the ice, first media availability, first preseason game on the horizon.

You tell yourself it doesn’t matter. That he doesn’t matter.

But when you spot him across the room at a Devils event, looking right at you, you realize you’ve been lying to yourself.

His gaze doesn’t waver, even when John leans in to murmur something in your ear. You barely register what he says, pulse roaring in your ears.

Nico looks different. Not physically — he’s still tall, still impossibly handsome, still the same person you spent so many nights tangled up with. But there’s something else, something in the way his jaw tightens, the way his hands clench into fists at his sides.

And then he’s walking toward you.

“Can we talk?” His voice is lower than you remember, rougher.

John tenses beside you, but doesn’t say anything. He just looks at you, waiting.

You could say no.

Should say no.

But you don’t.

“Yeah,” you say, pulling your hand from John’s. “Give me a minute?”

John hesitates, then nods.

Nico leads you away from the crowd, into a quieter corner of the venue. He shoves his hands into his pockets, exhaling sharply.

“You’re ignoring me,” he says, accusation laced into every syllable.

You fold your arms over your chest. “You’re just now figuring that out?”

His brows furrow. “I don’t get it, why?”

You let out a humorless laugh. “Seriously?”

“Yeah, seriously.” His frustration simmers just beneath the surface. “I come back, and suddenly you’re acting like I don’t exist. I called you—”

“And I didn’t answer.”

“Yeah, I noticed.” He exhales through his nose. “I just don’t get what I did.”

Your stomach twists. You shouldn’t care enough to explain, but the words bubble up before you can stop them.

“You were in Ibiza,” you say flatly.

Nico blinks. “What?”

“You were in Ibiza,” you repeat, voice sharper now. “On a yacht. With some girl.”

Realization flickers across his face, followed quickly by something else — guilt, maybe?

“That’s what this is about?”

You scoff. “Are you actually surprised?”

“You ghosted me for months over a tweet?” He shakes his head. “Jesus, you could’ve asked me instead of shutting me out.”

“Why would I need to ask?” You cross your arms tighter over your chest. “We weren’t exclusive, remember? You didn’t owe me anything, I didn’t owe you anything. That was the deal.” You force yourself to meet his gaze. “So I didn’t ask. I just… moved on.”

His jaw tightens. “With Marino?”

You don’t look back toward John, but you don’t need to. “Yeah.”

Nico lets out a bitter laugh, running a hand through his hair. “So that’s it? You’re just done?”

“What else is there to say?”

“Maybe that you actually gave a shit” he snaps “Because if you didn’t, you wouldn’t have been so quick to cut me off. You wouldn’t be looking at me like that right now.”

Your breath catches.

You don’t know what he means by that, but you don’t ask. You don’t want to ask.

Because maybe he’s right. Maybe you cared more than you should’ve. Maybe you still do.

But that doesn’t change anything.

You inhale deeply. “I’m happy with John.”

Nico flinches, just barely. “Right.” He nods, slow and deliberate, like he’s convincing himself to believe it “If that’s what you want.”

You swallow. “It is.”

He watches you for a long moment, searching your face for something — doubt, hesitation, anything.

You don’t give it to him.

Finally, he nods. “Okay.”

You don’t say anything else. You just turn and walk back to John, ignoring the way your heart clenches in your chest.

Ignoring the way Nico’s eyes burn into your back the whole way.

Ignoring the nagging, unbearable thought that maybe, you didn’t move on at all.

[kunigamiau]

“ harvey, nobody knows what I see. ”

ryusei shidou x reader

highschool au.

𝄞⨾𓍢ִ໋ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ⋆˚꩜｡⟢ ˎˊ˗

— ❤︎ —

—

you were never a fan of moving away, far too attached to every house you had the chance of living in, to the memories it brought and most importantly to the people you met. that’s what you learned to realise each time you moved away, you weren’t stupid, even as a child you had realised your weaknesses and made sure to never let yourself truly go because everything was temporary.

at least it was until you met him. the blonde haired peculiar boy at the school you were attending. In your younger years you wanted nothing to do with him. you were opposites after all. He was loud, eccentric and boisterous, you were quiet, reserved and contemplate. well until you had no choice but to.

The first interaction between you was when you were peacefully trying to read your book on the bleachers on a warm summer day, basking in the soft rays of the sun. it was going well until- you promptly woke up with a ball straight to your face, knocking the air out of you as you slightly jerked back. The gasps around you made it all the more embarrassing, your friends were nowhere around you and hearing everyone else either holding back laughs while others were still shockingly watching could do nothing but make you want to crawl inside a hole and never come back out. and that was when he approached you, it was silly but the one thing you remember is how he tripped running over to the bleachers.

“ Shoot, I am sorry ? ” The way his tone was unsure made you look at him with a bewildered but honestly speaking, amused look. After a few more seconds of the seemingly on going staring contest you had going on with him you couldn’t help but let your lips curve upright, a giggle erupting from your mouth, making the equally bewildered boy look at you in a daze, not sure of what to do. let’s just say in that moment two souls tied to one another, because from that day on you were inseparable.

school bleacher conversations were your thing now, whether it would be that you came to watch him practice or you would spend time together revising after school, enjoying the summer time, it was a habit that neither of you denied once it started. bike rides home were idle. you watched the sunset on the back of ryusei’s bike as he talked your ear off about another one of his shenanigans or arguments he had at his football practice despite you being there; he deemed it necessary that you understood his side of the story so those ‘wannabe pretty boys’ as he calls them, don’t try to sweep you off your feet by painting him out to be the bad guy one of these days. to which you would just roll your eyes at and continue listening to him with no sign of refusal.

time with shidou passed faster than you imagined, to the point where you only realised how bad your resolve had broken when your parents gave you the impending news.

moving away. again. except this time you weren’t as neutral. you had finally met someone you wanted to have around, someone who made your life better even without knowing. so like any other naive child you had straight up denied. you didn’t want to move, you wouldn’t move ( it didn’t work. ) So in your antsy frenzy, that night you had made sure to give something to your best friend that wouldn’t let him ever forget about you.

“ What's that ? ” the blonde asked with a curious glint in his eyes as he cotninued to snack on the sweet poki sticks. you replied by looking down, giving him the news. to which he took better than you expected, except from the pout adorning his face now. "Dumbass, why were you nervous to tell me ? ” you simply looked at him huffing “ well ryu’ you don’t exactly- ” but you don’t get to finish your sentence as he pats your head suddenly, “ and why would you think.. I would forget you.” he mumbles the last part more quietly, looking down at his lap with a conflicted look. hearing that, you couldn’t help the smile painting your face as you took his hand putting the morganite, handmade bracelet into his palm. the boy simply looks down at the sudden coldness he felt before immediately doubling down analysing the bracelet. “ I made it ! ” you exclaim proudly, showing off your wrist which had a matching one on. seeing that, he couldn’t help the blush coat his cheeks as he immediately put it on himself. “ ryu.. are your cheeks red right now ? “ you say in a teasing tone that easily gets shut down by him pulling you in a headlock ruffling your hair to which you can only squeal at, giggling as silly bickering erupts from both of your mouths.

That was a very long time ago, now at the prime age of seventeen you’re preparing for yet another new high school, in your third year. it sucked that you had to move in your final year but you reminded yourself that it isn’t something you hadn’t grown accustomed to. In the time of growing up you had met, adored and left a lot of people, yet the one that stuck to you the most was your one and only childhood best friend. moving in and out of Japan had you going insane, and as much as you wanted to keep in contact with everyone, you couldn’t manage it and gave up early on. shidou being no exception of that, which you greatly regretted. Each step you took on the strangely empty Tokyo streets towards your brand new school had you feeling nervous, it was like first grade all over again, every single time. you just couldn’t help the nervous feeling in your heart, especially since you are a third year at a new school, which is not a bad thing, just rare and attention inducing. you dreaded how the day would unfold immediately as you see the huge gates with the name in bold blue writing.

to your surprise your classes were not half as bad as you thought they would, homeroom was simple. you were glad third years here weren’t as curious and judgemental as you imagined. As you walked in, you were immediately greeted by a teacher who led you to the office. There you met your classmate and the student council president, Isagi Yoichi, who was nice enough to take you to your shared homeroom and even let you meet his friends later on after introducing yourself to the new class. now you were currently facing a predicament, due to you starting in the second week; you weren’t able to pick a club so now you, isagi, his best friends bachira, kurona and hiori whom were all your classmates were trying to figure out what club you could join. since it is mandatory. “ What if she joins as our manager ? I mean we don’t have one and it wouldn’t hurt. ” hiori says, trying to improve the defeated mood of the group. “ manager ? “ You say curiously, eyes focused on him, turning to bachira as he exclaims happily “ yea ! we’re all in the football team, isn’t that super duper fun !? ”

he says while putting his arms around the three other boys who just groan in response to his hyper behaviour. "You know what ? That doesn’t sound all too bad. “ you say with a hum as you noted down ‘football team manager’ on your notepad as one of your ideas. “ That's great ! then you can just come now since practice is about to end for the others ! ” yet again, bachira shouts joyfully, this time around getting up and joining your side immediately pulling you up to which you yelp to the sudden force as he just continues giggling pulling you over, leaving the other three boys just looking at each other before sighing and following along you and bachira. It seemed like a great idea before, amazing even but as you’re standing in front of the gym which was booming with noise you could only mentally curse for agreeing, crowds were not your thing; yet these days it’s all you’re a part of. “ It's fine ! Our team isn’t bad ! Even if some people are a bit questionable, they’re alright. “ isagi says, trying to reassure you despite only sparking your nerves more. as you take a step forward towards the door having mentally prepared yourself you immediately open the door while speaking to the four boys,

“ you’re right ! what could go so wrong aha. "

But as if the universe was watching you, ready to prove you wrong and you opened the door a ball is immediately in contact with your face. hard. groaning at the impact you immediately shut your eyes gripping your nose which you were sure was bleeding with how painful the hit felt ( it was not ! ). gasps immediately surround you as you are approached by isagi and bachira from behind you along with kurona and hiori who just look concerned. but before they can even speak, sudden steps approach you, slightly leaning down to your height,

“ Shoot, are ya’ okay ? ” and as if the interaction couldn’t get any weirder a sense of deja vu takes over you as you immediately look at the figure facing you with wide eyes. “ ryu? ” you mumble, shock taking over your senses as the pain you had just faced dilated. you notice his blonde spiky hair, with hot pink tips adorning it, the sharp eyeliner that complimented him even more, along with his freakish height, he had always been taller than you but now the difference seemed even more dramatic. shidou stares at you for a little while longer before finally putting the pieces together and calling out to you, “ n/n ? ” he mumbles, and it truly felt like the world had reduced to only you two as you stare into his eyes with a soft look, tears brimming slightly in your orbs as he immediately takes a hold of your shoulders hugging you tightly. you immediately hug him back, ignoring the awkward atmosphere that was created by your emotional reunion. you didn’t care. what matters most is you had met your best friend all over again, and you weren’t going to let him go again. The other guys could only stare in slight amusement and shock, seeing shidou’s usual fiery, rude, and unpredictable persona immediately crumble down with you was surely a sight to behold.

And with a promise of a hangout date, you were sent back out as the boys were told to go change. to which you were immediately bombarded with questions from your new classmates and few members of the team, “ so you and shidou are dating ? ” bachira asks innocently for the nth time. “ no you idiot," she clearly said that her and antenna freak were childhood best friends. If you had listened-” the two toned hair only booped the black haired male whom you had learnt his name was itoshi rin who only irked at bachira’s touch immediately chasing after him as they ran away from the rest of the group. “ Gotts to say.. you and Shidou are an interesting match. ” hiori says, his accent seeping through slightly, which you found endearing. “ Tell me about it. “ you reply with a sigh, a lazy smile playing on your lips

“ so, that’s y/n huh ? " the red head spoke up to the blonde as he was putting his jacket on. shidou could only mumble a ‘yes’ followed by a nod, looking down at the bracelet on his wrist. "She seems nice enough, treat her well. " sae adds with an amused smirk on his face. The blonde would be on cloud nine at the interaction with the male right now, however he could only smile before replying in the same soft-spoken tone he had welcomed you with.

"Of course I will. ”

𓏵˚˖𓍢ִ໋❀ ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

— songs I associated with this •.• !

- harvey, her’s

- over the moon, the marías

- impacto, enjambre

- you might be sleeping, clairo + jakob

- asa, the circus

- sesame syrup, cigarettes after sex

- every summertime - niki

[thewistlingbadger]

The Unsolved Mystery of Silco's left Eye (an analysis on shimmer and eyes)

Silco, the main antagonist in Arcane, has two different color eyes. One is a normal looking teal eye and the other is a black eye with a orange, muddy iris. When we only had season one, it was assumed his left eye looked the way it did due to the injury he obtained when he was attacked by Vander and the river toxins mixed with his bodily fluids.

But in season two we got to see an alternate reality! Silco and in that AU, Silco's left eye is completely different. Instead of being black and orange it's just kinda gray and normal looking. Very similar to the way blindness is portrayed in animation. This is interesting because Silco isn't blind in the AU or in the actual reality. His non normal eye looks around and matches his normal eye's movement, they coordinate together. Silco also never makes any comment about lacking any sort of vision, so it seems that he has retained at least most of his vision despite his major injury. Speaking of which, even Silco's injury itself is different in the AU. It's smaller and less dark than it is in reality.

This made people begin to ask why Silco's eye was different even though Silco obtained the same injury in both universes. Some suggested that the reason was shimmer, but I brushed that aside because I didn't really see how or why that would be. However, now that I think about it months after the fact, there actually IS a place we've seen a similar thing with shimmer and eyes.

Now admittedly this is VERY similar but this isn't exact to what Silco has. This is Deckard after consuming only one vial of shimmer. Even though his sclera is black like Silco's, which would suggest that shimmer is responsible for Silco's black sclera, notice how Deckard's iris is still a clear shape. It isn't like Silco's, which isn't perfectly circular. Deckard has also maintained his natural eye color, blue, once he takes Shimmer. This did not occur with Silco, Silco's left iris ended up changing a completely different color. The most compelling difference, however, is that Deckard's eyes actually REVERT back to their original color once the effects of Shimmer have worn off. This is interesting because once again, Silco is not the same way, his left eye is permanently black and orange.

So if shimmer did cause Silco's eye to change so drastically, then why was this the case when we know for others it didn't work that way? If shimmer had no effect on Silco's eye then why was he taking a shot of shimmer on the daily just for his eye? What was the purpose of it? Was it pain? Does this mean the au Silco is in pain everyday because he lacks shimmer as a medical resource? There are only two other people who have maintained permanent body augmentations as the result of shimmer, and one of them doesn't count because he was messing with other shit so it's difficult to determine whether it was actually shimmer's fault or not.

Jinx receives extensive shimmer treatments after she blows up a bomb way too close to herself. She was on the brink of death and shimmer was the only way to save her. This is dissimilar to Silco's situation, because even though he suffered a massive injury, he still had the ability to walk and commit other functions. Jinx was literally unconscious and about to die. We don't know how much shimmer was used on her, but then again we don't know how much shimmer was used on Silco back in the day, if it was ever used on him at all. Additionally, we know that whatever amount it was, it was a SHIT TON. We literally see the injections and they are brutal.

Her case with shimmer is truly a phenomenon because not only is she the first person to ever receive permanent benefits of shimmer that are positive (increased speed) without the need of consuming more shimmer, but her irises also permanently change from blue to pink.

Now this is interesting because remember, we saw Deckard's sclera's temporary change while his irises stayed the same. We saw Vander's own irises and scleras be unaffected by shimmer when he took the same amount of Shimmer Deckard did but then as he was dying we saw his irises become pink. We say Vi and Viktor's and Sevika's irises flash purple after being injected with Shimmer but only for a moment, nothing really long term. Not even the people who were addicted to shimmer are were using it constantly over the course of several years, like Huck, received physical changes to the eyes. Jinx's irises become pink forever, she gets new speed ability, and it seems that shimmer is just a fluid her body is producing now because she is now crying tears of shimmer.

So by this alone it seems that shimmer just...affects everyone a different way? But then we have to remember that there are potentially different versions of shimmer. The shimmer we see at the start of the show might not be the same shimmer that we are at the end of the show. Especially since in act one shimmer is framed as a prototype and in act two it's framed as a popular drug sold to the masses. ESPECIALLY since we know shimmer is Singed's invention, and he seems to have been tinkering with it over the years. Shimmer's most noticeable side effects are massive muscle growth at an accelerated rate, joint disfiguration, and massive height growth at an accelerated rate. Yet Viktor and Jinx, two people that received shimmer from Singed, don't receive these side effects. This could be implying that Singed has his own version of shimmer that isn't the shimmer being produced on a wide scale by Silco.

TDLR The nature of Silco's eye will always be a mystery because shimmer is just too inconsistent. The various ways it affects others and the possibility of multiple variations of the drug existing make it too hard to pinpoint if shimmer is the reason why Silco's eye is like that. I honestly don't understand why his eye is different in the AU and what they were trying to imply.

[polo-drone-070]

Losin meself in da footie drill - Final Session – No More Maximus, Only Gold

Links : Session 1 Session 2 Session 3

I fukin’ know what’s comin’.

The last few sessions built up to this. The way me brain’s been slippin’, the way the orders been stickin’, even after the visor lifts. How I wake up at night, me body still twitchin’ with drill commands, me mind loopin’ plays like I’m still on the pitch.

I ain’t dumb. I know what’s happenin’.

But it don’t fukin’ matter.

‘Coz deep down, I know this is what I need. What I was fukin’ made for.

It’s pre-game trainin’ now. The real deal. After this, we hit the pitch, we fukin’ crush the Emerald Titans. But right now? Right now, I gotta disappear. Gotta fukin’ erase what’s left.

Me heart’s poundin’ like mad, adrenaline surgin’ through me veins. A part of me—tiny, weak, barely hangin’ on—feels this flicker of fear, of hesitation. Like, this is it, bruv. Last chance to fight it. Last chance to be you.

But I ain’t fightin’.

I ain’t runnin’.

I’m kneelin’.

I’m waitin’.

And when they bring the helmet over, I’m fukin’ shakin’ with anticipation.

The Moment of No Return

The second I see the visor, I fukin’ need it. Like air, like water, like everythin’ I ever wanted but never knew. Me breath’s all shallow, me hands twitchin’, me whole body buzzin’.

Fuk, bruv. I want this. I fukin’ ache for it.

And when they lower it onto me skull—

I. Am. Gone.

The instant the visor locks in place, everythin’ vanishes.

A deep, all-consumin’ warmth floods through me, wrappin’ me in pure fukin’ obedience. Me mind don’t just blank—it shatters, dissolvin’ into nothin’, breakin’ apart like it never fukin’ existed in the first place.

"Recover. Regroup. Target. Tackle."

The words consume me. They ain’t just commands anymore. They ain’t instructions I hear.

They’re me.

I don’t fukin’ think—I respond. I don’t hesitate—I move. The orders don’t come from outside anymore. They come from within.

‘Coz there ain’t no difference no more.

I ain’t Maximus. I ain’t a player. I ain’t even a person.

I am Gold’s machine.

And fuk, bruv—it’s perfect.

Erased. Rewritten. Born Again as Pure Gold.

Me body’s a fukin’ weapon—a force built for the pitch, trained to dominate, shaped to win. Every movement’s flawless, every sprint precise, every tackle unstoppable.

There’s no wasted thought, no hesitation, no questions. Just orders. Reflex. Action.

Every second feels like an eternity of bliss. Me whole existence is reduced to movement, to execution, to service.

And it’s right.

I was never meant to be me. I was meant to be this—a tool, a pawn, a machine for the team. For Gold.

And now I fukin’ am.

"Recover. Regroup. Target. Tackle."

I feel the words sink deeper than ever before. Not just into me mind. Into me core.

This ain’t temporary. Ain’t trainin’.

This is permanent.

I ain’t gonna snap outta it. I ain’t gonna shake this off. I ain’t gonna come back.

There is no more Maximus.

Just the team. Just the commands. Just Gold.

Final Integration – Controlled forever

The session goes on for hours. Every second pullin’ me deeper, rewritin’ me completely. Erasin’ everythin’ that don’t serve the team.

I don’t even remember what I used to be. Don’t even fukin’ care.

Why would I?

This is better. This is right.

I don’t think. I don’t choose. I don’t exist.

I comply.

And when the session finally ends—when the visor lifts, when the light floods back in—

I. Do. Not. Leave. The. State.

I’m still in it.

Ain’t no fukin’ transition, no moment of snappin’ back to reality. ‘Coz this is reality now.

The lads slap me back, rubs me sweaty scalp, joke about how locked in I was—how I barely even blinked the whole session.

But I barely fukin’ hear ‘em.

‘Coz the commands are still there, loopin’ in me skull, directin’ me every move.

And I fukin’ love it.

They tell me to hit the showers, so I do. They tell me to gear up, so I do. They tell me to get ready to win for Gold, and I obey without a fukin’ thought.

Maximus doesn't exists anymore.

I am only this now.

Only a player. Only a pawn. Only a drone for the game.

No more past. No more future. No more choices.

Just Gold.

Forever.

_______________ To join the Gold Team, contact @goldenherc9, @brodygold or @polo-drone-001.

[accio-sriracha]

The Scars Kept Hidden

A snippet from an unpublished drarry fic

Okay... @bradleysass won, I'm releasing my wip arsenal. (Definitely not just because it's easier content than actually finishing these wips...)

Enjoy this snippet from an eighth year drarry fic!!

"Where have you been?" Pansy demanded as he entered the common room, "You do realise how late it is, don't you?"

Draco waved a hand dismissively, "They aren't enforcing curfew on Eighth years, you know that."

"C'mon, Dray." Blaise sighed, standing up from his armchair, "We were worried. Where were you?"

"I was with Potter." Draco conceded, only because he knew they probably were worried.

With the amount of people out to get him, he had to be extra careful not to go out alone.

"You were with Potter?" Pansy repeated slowly, "Are you okay?"

He knew what she meant by that. Despite the concern in her eyes, he knew she was asking what he did to him.

"Oh, for the love of Salazar. I am capable of being around him without hexing him, you know?"

Pansy held up her hands, "Alright. I'm sorry." She shared a look with Blaise, "Did anything... was anything said?" She asked.

Draco cocked an eyebrow, "No, we stuck to handwritten notes the whole time, actually." He quipped.

"You know what I mean. About the- About the trial?"

This made Draco freeze, he hadn't been expecting that question,

"What about it?" He asked quietly.

"Did he say anything at all about it? About who he might have spoken for?" Blaise asked, hesitating, "Or against?"

Suddenly it all made sense. The way they were looking at him like some sort of wounded puppy. how they stayed up waiting for him to get back.

He let out an irritated laugh, dripping with venom,

"Oh, Merlin, I can't believe I didn't think to ask! Maybe next time the two of us are having a friendly chat about the war that traumatised an entire population of people, I'll be sure to bring it up. Maybe I'll even ask about his parents next, or what it was like being dead!" He snapped, turning around and marching towards the boy's dormitories.

He ignored Pansy calling after him, ignored the knocking at the door and the quiet apologies.

He couldn't believe they thought he would actually ask something like that, as if he and Potter were just dying to rehash some of the worst moments of their lives.

Draco stayed awake for a long time, his head swimming with thoughts of Harry Potter.

He couldn't help it, the way Potter had treated him like they were friends.

He knew it was only temporary, they had acted that way when they were alone, but Draco knew the glares and sarcastic comments would be back within the first five minutes of actually having class together.

"Draco?" Blaise's voice drifted through the darkness of their room late that night.

"Hmm?"

"Do you think you'll finally let Potter go this year?" He asked.

"Let him go?" Draco repeated, "How do you mean?"

"You know what I mean, Dray." He whispered.

The knowing tone of his voice made Draco's heart skip a beat.

"I'm afraid I don't, actually." He replied, attempting in vain to keep the defensive tone out of his own voice.

"Alright. Just..." He paused. Draco sat up and looked at him, his expression was worried even through the darkness, "Just try not to get hurt, yeah?" He asked.

Draco rolled his eyes, "Potter couldn't hurt me even if I was standing still and unarmed."

Blaise just shook his head quietly, a defeated sigh that said all too much falling from his lips, "Goodnight, Dray." He whispered.

"Night, Blaise." Draco turned over, pulling the covers up past his shoulders.

He couldn't remember the last time Blaise had been that serious with him and it unnerved him greatly.

He tried not to think of the implications as he drifted off to sleep.

[le-panda-chocovore]

My sense of gender identity is so weird... Like, the whole thing about being non-cis but not having a real strong appartenance to any gender is that :

I don't like it when people see me automatically as a girl

I happily identify and present myself as a girl any time.

I guess I just don't want them to speculate about my gender.

[fishing-lesbian-catgirl]

How is everyone not constantly anxious and afraid about how ephemeral everything is? Or if they are, how do they cope with it? Everything, especially on the internet, is so fragile. Like, I’m just one mistake away, one pissing off of the wrong person away from having my account banned and deleted and losing access to every post I’ve spent years tagging diligently. A bunch of posts of art I loved have been wiped off the internet, sometimes even by the artist’s choice, and I’m left with a memory of an image that I like, but the image itself is gone. Every time I think about this stuff I feel like Im closer and closer to buying a massive hard drive and obsessively data hoarding everything. But what would be the point of that? Having it just in case I want to see it again? Peace of mind? It’s not like having it saved physically even does that much, it’s still ephemeral. Everything is fragile and temporary and I don’t know how to deal with it when I am confronted with that reality

[juniemunie]

Found these old whiteboard drawings i made with my friends hehe

Anyways heres a not so memey one

[fromdarzaitoleeza]

Spring is here , the true beginning of the year , the season where my soul reborns and blooms .

I have made some progress in terms of the person I am becoming, truly in all my honesty all that i have done is to stop caring for everything that once used to matter , the less I care about anything in particular the less I am bothered and the happier i stay. And i really hope everyone here is doing well and I appreciate all the love that was sent.

The problem is I care a lot about everything and i don't even get the bare minimum in return and when i do get it it's too late, so much time has passed by then ,when it comes by then i do not want or need it because it's the not care that came out of love it came out of their guilts. And the longer i wait for it to come by -the more I learn why I don't need it anymore .

I am slowly learning to value myself ,trying to put myself in a position where I can agree that i too deserve all the good things and love even on the days when i have nothing to offer .

Idk guys I am just here to rant and to be stupid

Better late than never they say , I guess it's not too late for me either, I will start my life and live up to what I want & how I feel ,i don't have to care about anything else as long as I feel alive in my bones things will eventually flow, I will fall in love with myself little by little day after day.

I will choose myself instead of choosing others and I will fall in love with my solitude instead of bearing it with me , i don't care if I end up alone if I do end up all by myself I will be with someone who i know has a tendency not to give up .

Life is really short i just don't want to sit and watch it pass by , if I am lucky enough I will have 40 more springs to experience , I have clear boundaries and thoughts in my head now, eventually i will find peace through it I hope so.

Ramdan kareem to people who celebrate it here please remember gaza in your prayers and fastings

[maroontragedy]

HE'S UNBELIEVABLE!

HE'S INCREDIBLE!

HE CAN WIN THIS!

AKUTAGAWA CAN REALLY WIN THIS!

dude, that's your mortal enemy (now go propose or smth)

[ardenssolis]

From my years rping Ozy, the summoners I notice that he tends to gravitate to are the 'underdog summoners'. Those people who are utterly unremarkable with just the smallest bit of power to be considered able to participate in the H.oly Grail War, but just slight. He, of course, loves those muses of power / authority who call upon him and share in his mindset as they tend to have him like, "👌👌👌👌" especially when they're respectful of him, but the ones who really fascinate him the most, are those that have him wondering how in the world they called to him at all. This goes for R.itsuka as well in canon considering he very much looked down on them in the beginning, believing they made it to that particular singularity he resided in because of sheer luck (which is pretty true tbh fdsfsfss). However, the more he monitored them and saw how determined they were to succeed despite everything in their direction saying they wouldn't -- now that's when his attention was caught and held with him allowing himself to summoned later in Chaldea.

[another-place-to-fall]

and I wither underneath in this storm

[seilon]

I wish I could tell every young person with a uterus (especially with bad cramps and/or dysphoria and/or depression, etc) that there is a decent chance they just straight up don’t need to live with that. don’t let the stigma surrounding contraceptives and the expectation that you should just ride it out and suffer win. for the love of god if there’s a chance you can lighten or even stop your period and it’s symptoms all-together, unless there’s a legit health concern, your doctor should at least make you aware of that option. I want every young person to know that “birth control” is not just for birth control and it has the potential to make your life infinitely easier to live. do not give in to anti-pill propaganda im serious

[93millionmilesaway]

taking a break 👍