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lightaflametoburnmethrough · 3 years ago

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A Study of Soulmates Analysis #3.5 - “My Only One”

Originally, this was supposed to be part of Analysis #3 but since that post was so long understatement and discussed multiple things at once, I decided to write this separately for better coherency.

So...soulmates! 👏

Any CLAMP fan who calls themselves a true CLAMP fan knows this is a staple trait of all their works. TRC was pretty much the authors’ massive statement that “these connections between certain characters are immovable even across different realities”.

With the introduction of the phrase “私だけの人” (“The only person for me”) in chapter 60, it warrants a deeper study into that aspect of Akiho and Kaito’s relationship.

Because if there’s one thing CLAMP doesn’t joke around about, it’s the ships they bring to the table as the main courses.

Let’s start this off with Lilie.

Since more of her character was revealed in chapter 60, there was bound to be an increase in speculations about her significance to both Akiho and Kaito. Kaito in particular because so far, we’ve only seen Lilie interact with him (and Momo) while her relation with Akiho was just implied (though strongly so cuz of their similar appearances) until it was confirmed that they are indeed mother and daughter in chapter 61.

And while I don’t like to dwell on these thoughts (cuz I simply don’t like or care about fandom), I can’t lie that YunaAki is detested for all the wrong reasons among western (mostly American, eww) audiences while even a small portion of the people who aren’t as opposed towards YunaAki was tempted to jump onto the idea that there was something going on between Kaito and Lilie.

In spite of the facts that Kaito was still just a kid and Lilie was a full-grown adult when they met (so they’re not even a part of the same generation), Lilie already had someone else she loved ever since she was a child herself (therefore, it couldn’t be Kaito since he wasn’t even born yet) and looked like she was about to get married, and Kaito was still in no mental state back then to properly develop a strong attachment to anything yet. Just to name a few things that run contrary to that notion.

My point is, if there are those who don’t like something or lean heavily towards doubt, they’ll tend to read everything in poor to bad faith. They’ll twist and disregard whatever they see in the narrative to suit their argument against the truth right in front of them. In this case, trying to invalidate Kaito’s feelings towards Akiho by saying “he’s only doing it for Lilie”.

Rule #1 of fandom: learn to think for yourself. Don’t rely on the superficial observances of others. Opinions are not facts no matter how vocal they are. Facts are established through canon and theories should be made to suit and follow those facts, not the other way around.

That’s what I’m going to do now.

If you read my YunaAki analysis post before this one or even if you didn’t, you should still already know Akiho and Lilie are two completely separate people.

It doesn’t matter how much they uncannily resemble each other or share a number of the same mannerisms and whatnot. They’re still different people with different identities because the lives they led are unique to themselves.

So it’s not just because one has magic and the other doesn’t that sets them apart either. It’s the experiences and their own feelings that shaped them into their own individuals that do.

Lilie was the most powerful magician in her clan and therefore, she was at least valued by its members. She grew up with confidence and optimism about the future because there was no abuse to constrain her.

That’s not what it was like for Akiho, who was subjected to horrible treatment and neglect by that very same clan just because she didn’t have any powers. The strength Akiho gained from that ordeal is marked by numerous emotional scars. It is a pain that her mother will never know and never have.

If anything, chapter 60 made it even clearer to me just how distinct Akiho and Lilie are from one another and gave further evidence why Akiho is meant to be the only one for Kaito.

Because the only thing Kaito and Lilie really had in common were being the strongest magicians of their respective groups. That’s all.

Not to mention, going by what the manga showed us, they only interacted a handful of times, the majority of which was Lilie’s attempts to get Kaito to talk with her. Their lengthier conversations seemed to number around two or four before she exited his life, which is not enough time for two people to get to significantly know each other.

And no matter how gifted a person is at premonition, an actual relationship cannot be based on visions and dreams or even short-lived memories. It has to grow through a good amount of mutual time and effort spent in reality.

The few times Kaito has conversed Lilie, meaningful though they were, do not meet those criteria.

On the other hand, Kaito has been traveling with Akiho for years, throughout which he has really gotten to learn pretty much everything there is to know about her. What she likes and dislikes, how her personality is, what her insecurities are, where her weak and strong points lie. All of it.

And it shows in their close bond and how utterly devoted he is to her. How he’s always attentive in taking care of her needs and how he helps allay her worries and doubts. How he’s the most expressive around Akiho while everyone else just gets his trademark mask of a enigmatic smile.

Seriously, have you ever seen Kaito make a face that’s full of emotion when Akiho wasn’t concerned?

These. These faces were the ones he wore whenever Akiho was at the very center of his mind.

I had to leave out a few cuz some have angles that are a b*tch to crop

He doesn’t do this for anybody else. Not even Momo or Lilie, the only other two people who can be considered to hold any importance in his life.

And that’s because he doesn’t connect with anyone else as deeply as he does with Akiho.

Akiho, who is just like him. An orphan without parents or family, exploited by magicians as a tool. Children who only knew loneliness before they found each other.

What made Kaito decide to go with Akiho was guilt over that “blank book” comment he made...but what drives him to fight so hard for her are the feelings that were born out of their time together. The feelings she enabled him to feel.

He saw how pitiful her situation was and desperately wanted to change that. He related with her over the turmoil of self-worth and how they were both measured by whether they could do magic or not, how “useful” they could be for somebody else. He always becomes so angry just thinking about what the Squids made Akiho go through and is visibly saddened whenever she expresses shame in herself for not being able to meet their expectations.

He wants to make Akiho happy with his own power, no matter what it takes.

If he was doing this for anything else, anybody else, why would he need to go so far for Akiho then? To show this much concern if she’s not his most important one? That makes absolutely no sense just like it makes no sense to claim he’s doing this for Lilie. Because Lilie has already long passed away at this point so he can’t do anything for her.

But Akiho is still here and she’s the one who contributed to his growth as a person the most. Akiho is the one who inspired him to make the first decision for himself. To want to do something out of his own will and not because someone ordered him to.

The farthest Lilie ever got in “motivating” Kaito was getting him to eat some sweets she brought over. For the purpose of searching for something Kaito would “like” (好き).

Even that didn’t amount to more than a rather lifeless “I can eat this” before the meetings stopped. Because Lilie knew, from the future she saw in her dreams, that she didn’t have much time left and would have to leave this world soon (see ch 61, Akiho mentioning the “incident” that took her parents’ lives).

Still, she left him with these words:

The “like/love” that belongs only to you is surely waiting for you out there, waiting for you to realize (them)

This not only confirms Lilie isn’t the “love” Kaito’s meant to find (because if she was, why would she need to say this to him in the first place?) but also shows how the nature of his relationship with Lilie is noticeably different from his relationship with Akiho.

In a similar vein as how mother and daughter are distinct from one another.

With Lilie, there’s a great sense of parent-child dynamics, especially the asking questions aspect.

The way Lilie tried to get Kaito to stay and chat with her is the same as how an older female figure (ex. a mommy or auntie or even an “Oneechan”) would try to engage with a child. By appealing to them.

“Hey, would you like some candy? Let’s do something you would enjoy.”

I have cousins more than a decade my junior along with several nieces and nephews and I figured out the key to getting and keeping their attention is to talk about or do something the kid has an interest in.

However, for Kaito back then, he didn’t have anything like that. All he knew was magic and it wasn’t even for himself but the Association that demanded it. He just hung around, waiting for orders day in and day out. Living a very dull, very bored existence. He had nothing to share, no desire to talk with anybody because nobody wanted to care for him. And that unfortunately reflected in his own perspective towards the world.

Which is why Lilie proposed that they go search for something he would “like” (好き) together and brought over all those chocomint snacks. Chocomint was something that she loved and she wanted to see if Kaito would as well.

He didn’t (he hated it) and that prompted her to switch over to chocolate pretzels but the point of this “quest” is that Lilie was trying to foster intrigue in a little boy’s mind. Because that’s what children are supposed to be like at that age. Because it’s not normal for someone that young to be so depressed.

Her efforts worked somewhat because Kaito did gradually get used to her popping up every so often. He warmed up enough to her that he was willing to at least try the food she offered and not mind having her in his company.

And this led to him becoming more comfortable to talk with her as well.

The things they discussed weren’t of the ordinary kind as they still mostly revolved around magic. But it’s notable that Kaito has begun to ask Lilie questions.

“Did you make these (pretzels)?”

“You seem happier than usual, did something good happen?”

(about Lilie’s special person) “Are you drawn to them because they have lots of magic like you do?”

“Did you know they’d be “the one” for you because you saw it in your dreams?”

For once, Kaito was actually curious, if just a little bit. But that only happened because there was someone who was willing to engage with him, to actually talk to him like a human being and stimulate his blank mind into having thoughts.

He didn’t understand what this “love” Lilie always spoke of was...so he asked. He wondered if there was any purpose for him to have all this magic...so he asked her if she knew from the future she saw in her dreams.

Like how a child would seek guidance from an adult. Like how a boy would go to his mother for help when something leaves him stumped and frustrated.

Which is very normal behavior to expect because every child wants a mother or parental figure to care for and look after them. And remember that Kaito grew up with no parents or family so he feels that void even more strongly despite the indifferent face he always wears.

It is not farfetched to think he may be slightly projecting his inner need for a mother onto the older Lilie, who actually cared enough to reach out out to him for him and not his magic.

Moving on, Lilie does respond to his inquiries but not in a way that really satisfies Kaito or puts him at ease. She can say with certainty about herself and the decisions she makes for herself.

But for him, it’s all still very vague and confusing. She keeps telling him that he’s going to find his “love” (好き) eventually but he’s like “How? I don’t even know what that means” and is obviously bothered he doesn’t have everything figured out. He’s anxious that he doesn’t have dream seer powers like she does to provide him with the answers he seeks deep down.

For what reason am I alive? Why am I here? What am I living for?

But Lilie is ever nurturing and kind and supportive to the loss he feels.

She tells him, guides him, “It’ll be alright. I won’t be able to search with you...but the answer you’re looking for is surely out there, waiting for you. You will find it one day. When you finally decide for yourself, that’s when you’ll know. You’ll understand what you want to do, what you’re meant to do.”

Lilie purposely leaves him with all these questions, this tiny budding desire to know.

So that when the moment came for someone to accompany Akiho around the world, he would take that first step towards finding the answers to those questions. The first step towards understanding love.

Akiho is the answer. Akiho is the love he’s been searching for.

Where his interactions with Lilie were all about preparing Kaito for the journey ahead, the journey itself is where Kaito discovered what he wants.

And that is for Akiho to be happy.

Akiho who he learned to smile for. Akiho who he learned to do many things for, from taking care of the house and brewing tea and so on, just so he could bring a smile to her face.

Akiho whose suffering he empathizes with and understands only too well but also Akiho whom he watched with his own eyes try her very best to not let the magicians’ vicious criticism drag her down and discourage her from being a good person.

He admires her in a way he never did about Lilie or anyone else. Because unlike Lilie, who never showed signs of struggles with self-esteem and sense of worth, Akiho most certainly did.

Just like him.

He saw how strong Akiho really was, how she was so brave to want something better for herself. How she still had it in her to be so kind and compassionate despite being hurt so many times...even to a self-degrading person like him.

Kaito thought “even someone like me, who’s just a mere caretaker, whose only worth is my magic, can be treated with dignity by a wonderful person like her.”

Yes, Akiho may not have powers...but has so many great qualities about her that are so much more than that.

She has hopes and dreams and is willing to work hard for them with her own strength. She’s so thoughtful and caring and wishes to study more so that she can be more helpful to others.

Just by being herself, Akiho brought warmth and joy to Kaito’s cold, desolate world. He was comforted by her presence and he experienced for the first time what having a (nearly) normal life was like. The smiles he practiced became more genuine over time, if only for Akiho. And though he still carries that guilt of unwittingly playing a part in turning her into a magical artifact, he acquired new reasons to fight even harder for her.

Kaito didn’t just want to save her. He didn’t just want to take her away from the magicians’ world where there was nothing for her but a fate worse than death.

He also wanted to give Akiho happiness. Not just any happiness but all the happiness she deserved.

Because that’s what she gave him. She treats him as a human being, gave him respect. She appreciates everything he does for her and never takes him for granted. She gave him a purpose, made his days meaningful. She brought peace to his troubled soul.

Unlike the Association who only sought his powers and were more than ready to dispose him when he was no longer useful to them, Akiho would never do anything to hurt him.

Akiho taught him to believe that there is some good in this shitty world and that good, the only “good” he’s ever truly come to understand in his whole life, is her.

So for him to reach the decision to do everything he can, to risk everything he has, for the sake of saving Akiho...it’s a given one after all those years spent by each other’s side.

By the time they reached Japan and Akiho met Sakura, she has already become the most important person in his life.

Even though Kaito doesn’t realize the extent of how deep his feelings run yet (because he’s still confused, still afraid to acknowledge he is capable of love), there can be no doubt he truly does love Akiho and places her above all.

There can be no argument that the answer, the very answer to the question Momo posed towards him in chapter 51 “For who are you doing this for?”, is Akiho.

Because nobody but Akiho has ever been able to move Kaito towards action. Nobody but Akiho has ever been able to make Kaito feel so much to want for anything.

And there are several instances that back that up as well.

For one thing, it’s been shown a couple of times that Kaito displays a yearning to be close to Akiho. When they’re either alone by themselves or when time for everyone except him and Momo has stopped.

The first case has been occurring more often in recent chapters where Kaito reaches out a hand towards Akiho but retracts it at the last second. The nature of this action is rather ambiguous (platonic or romantic) but it’s so obvious all he wants to do is to comfort her when she’s upset.

He might be hesitating for a few of the following reasons:

1) It’s inappropriate to act in a way not befitting of his position as her caretaker (at least, how he defines that job in his head) so he doesn’t want to cross the line and do something that’s “unprofessional”.

2) He is also well aware that Akiho is a 13-year old girl, that they are not related and that there’s an age gap between them. Knowing how much Kaito cares for her, he is definitely a person who’d want to respect those important boundaries.

But probably more than either of those...

3) Kaito stops himself because he doesn’t believe he has the right to be close to her. Not after what he said that put her in this current mess where she’s in danger of losing her soul.

Kaito feels so guilty about his mistake that even something as simple and innocent as a pat on the head, something that can easily make Akiho feel better in an instant (especially if it’s from him, the person she loves most), isn’t allowed to come from him. Because that’s just how much he hates himself for that “blank book” comment.

Even though it wasn’t his intention, he still thinks “I did this to you. Because of that, I don’t deserve to be by your side.”

None of these thoughts or feelings has anything to do with Lilie or anybody else. He feels guilt because it concerns Akiho. He wants to make Akiho feel better when Akiho is down. Everything about his behavior and how he acts traces themselves back to Akiho as the source.

Then there’s the scene from way back in ch 28, when Kaito stopped time for the first time in the story (iirc). Everyone but him and Momo were frozen and couldn’t hear the conversation going on between him and his contractor.

But as Kaito delved more into Akiho’s past, how devoid it was of any happy memories (much like his own), he moved closer to Akiho as if wanting to embrace her and seemed to have forgotten for a second that Momo was still there.

The proximity between them is significantly more intimate here (in a very non-familial way) than it is when he reaches out to Akiho while she’s “awake” ...but it’s still within the lines of “safe” because frankly, there is nothing sexual or sensual about this panel.

All Kaito wanted was to be close to Akiho because he could see how lonely was. How tormented she still is by the past.

He can feel her pain like it was his own.

Akiho’s pain is his pain as well. He learned the extent of that anguish because he finds bits of himself reflected in her.

This sort of connection did not exist between him and Lilie.

And Lilie likely also knew this as well because the only time she ever got physically close to him, she stopped short of touching his face.

She couldn’t promise him anything, after all. Not when she was going to leave soon. Not when she knew he was still very wary of people so showing him any form of affection before he’s ready to receive it might hurt him more than anything.

Kaito has been abandoned before and look where that landed him. In the abusive hands of the Association where trust couldn’t exist.

He was already so damaged by life, she didn’t want to add more to it. He only barely just opened up to her and she was going to disappear.

This is why Kaito remembers Lilie well (because she left a strong impression on him) ...but never mourned the loss her. She never got close enough for him to truly miss her after she was gone.

But more than that, Lilie knew there was someone out there, someone in his future, who will give and offer Kaito so much more than she ever could. Who will never give up on him and never leave him alone to suffer.

Someone who can promise him what he needs and will give their everything to make him realize he is so loved and cared for.

Lilie saw the future. She told Kaito “the love that belongs only to you is waiting for you to realize it (them)”

Who else but Akiho is waiting for Kaito to realize her love for him? Who else is persistently trying to get their feelings across to Kaito if not Akiho?

This is not a coincidence. It’s the inevitability, the hitsuzen, that Lilie saw in her dreams.

With Lilie, Kaito was always so aloof and skeptical. He never smiled for her. He always avoided others because dealing with them was an annoying hassle. He does this with Momo, too, whenever she tries to make him face his own heart.

But with Akiho, it’s different. With Akiho, he always goes towards her on his own accord. He always smiles at her with sincerity. This shows he wants to be with her. Because he knows her. He knows she��ll never intentionally hurt him and finds solace in that.

Even when he runs away, whether it’s because he wants to keep her safe from him or he’s afraid of accepting the truth about himself (that he loves her), if Akiho’s hurting, he always goes back to her because he cares for Akiho, loves Akiho, like he doesn’t for anybody else.

He will never forgive anything that makes Akiho cry, not even himself.

That too is inevitable because Kaito has never allowed anyone but Akiho to get close to his own heart, close enough to actually stay there.

Furthermore, the fact that Kaito never projected Lilie onto Akiho at any point in the story should be the strongest proof that he’s not chasing after a dead person through her daughter.

We never see him actively thinking about Lilie or mention her at all for the first 40 chapters of this arc (that’s two-thirds of the entire story so far, peeps). It wasn’t until ch 41, when Nadeshiko forced the memory out of him, did Lilie appear for the first time in canon.

And even then, his thoughts didn’t linger on Lilie or the past. They immediately went back to Akiho when Nadeshiko started talking about her own family. He tossed aside trying to understand Lilie’s words about love in favor of his mission to save Akiho.

In favor of thinking about Akiho foremost.

He said that Sakura had everything Akiho doesn’t: a warm home, kind family and friends, happy memories and a hopeful future.

He said all that with such bitterness in his expression that you can’t possibly misinterpret those feelings are for anyone but Akiho.

It’s not fair. Why does Akiho-san not have these things as well? She deserves it just as much, if not more, so why? Why did the world bless everyone but her?

This feels so wrong to Kaito that he can’t stand it. He seriously gets tunnel vision whenever he thinks of all the things Akiho was deprived of. Of all the times Akiho was lambasted, looked down upon, violated and abused by her own goddamn "family”.

He is angry enough to even break character from his servant façade to defend her.

You’re so much better than they’ll ever be. You’re capable of so much more than those fools can ever dream to accomplish. You’re fine just the way you are.

People keep mentioning how her parents had so much power and how disappointing it was that their daughter didn’t possess an ounce of magic within her. But Kaito insists Akiho doesn’t need magic to have worth.

People have commented how Akiho and Sakura are so alike, to a disturbing degree partially due to the machinations of the synchro. But Kaito, with full knowledge of Sakura’s identity as a magician and of how Akiho adores her best friend, never suggests to Akiho to become more like her.

When he looks at Akiho, he only sees Akiho.

He only sees the girl doing her best with all her courage to move forward. He only sees the person who’s given him everything he ever needed. He only sees the greatest good he’s ever known.

And that’s love.

For Kaito, Akiho is love because she’s Akiho. She is not Lilie or Sakura or somebody else. Only Akiho can be Akiho and that is sacred to him. He’d sooner change the world than ever contemplate of ever turning Akiho into something she isn’t.

And the only time we ever see him actually place the image of another person (Lilie) next to Akiho isn’t even prompted by him but Akiho herself.

In ch 61, when Akiho mentioned suddenly wanting to see her mother’s photo (because the synchro is influencing her feelings to align with Sakura’s, who was looking at a picture of Nadeshiko at that moment), Kaito’s expression becomes quite alarmed.

This is a indication of how he thinks of Lilie in regards to Akiho:

1) Mentioning Akiho’s parents is not a common occurrence in their home. And since they both know Akiho’s parents died in an “incident” to protect Akiho from something, it isn’t a topic they can just casually bring up in conversation due to how sensitive a matter it is to her.

Which is why Kaito is worried over what suddenly brought this on since he couldn’t have known Sakura was talking with Fujitaka about Nadeshiko right then.

2) This chapter also revealed that Akiho has always been aware of her magical lineage and that her parents were especially powerful magicians in her clan. Knowing how Akiho was scorned by her own kin for being born without magic and how her emotional wounds haven’t completely healed from that yet, Kaito would definitely not wish to provoke any thoughts about Lilie out of fear of Akiho possibly comparing herself as inferior (“defect”, “failure”, “useless”) to her mother.

In short, Kaito does not want Akiho to think of things that would make her sad.

And that’s such a heartbreaking thought because of all the terrible memories she has with the Squids, her parents should be the one good thing she could take away from being born into that wretched clan. They gave their lives to protect their daughter, the ultimate act of a parent’s love.

Yet even that is marred by so many factors because they left Akiho before she even turned one year old. She was too young to remember what they looked like and she wasn’t even given a photo of them to keep.

What’s worse is that the other magicians constantly berated Akiho and the memory of her parents when she was still so little.

“If they were going to leave behind a child with no powers at all, we shouldn’t have let them meet in the first place!”

In essence, they see Akiho as a burden who shouldn’t have been born.

They had the audacity to say that to Akiho’s face with their backs turned as if she didn’t matter. Making her feel not only ashamed about herself for lacking magic but probably also sorry to the parents who died to protect her. The parents she will never know, the parents she probably thinks might’ve been disappointed in her too if they lived long enough to learn that she has “nothing”.

As Akiho’s attendant, it is not Kaito’s place to say anything that’s related to her family...but even so, with how Akiho was treated by them, would he have even wanted to? Would he want to talk about anything that reminds her of her clan, especially who her parents were?

Unlikely.

It will only hurt Akiho to remember the past and make him even angrier than he already is...so there is no need for him to bring it up. There’s no need for him to talk about them, to talk about Lilie.

Right now, Kaito is absolutely determined to make sure Akiho is safe and happy so saying anything that could do the opposite of that is detrimental to his goal.

I won’t be like them. I refuse to be anything like them. Akiho-san is Akiho-san and I will never compare her to someone else. I can’t hurt Akiho-san like that.

If Kaito really didn’t have true feelings for Akiho, if he only saw her as a replacement for Lilie or just a means to fulfill this perceived view that some readers have of his “feelings” towards Lilie ...then Kaito wouldn’t have needed to be this careful around Akiho in the first place.

He would’ve mentioned Lilie more often, given signs much earlier that his mind was occupied with someone else.

But it wasn’t. He never spoke of Lilie in front of Akiho.

His mind was only ever focused on Akiho. He only ever thought of what he could do to make Akiho happy.

That’s why this page of Akiho and Lilie together must not be misconstrued as Kaito “overlapping” Akiho with Lilie.

Because it really isn’t.

From a literary perspective, a comment about Lilie coming from Kaito can contain negative and mixed connotations. But if it’s coming from Akiho, it’s a different story.

Akiho was the one who wanted to talk about what little she knew about her parents...and that is they were chocomint fans just like her.

Remember that Akiho has no keepsake of them so whatever information she could get from her clan, that piece of knowledge will become very precious to her.

Akiho, who never knew what her parents were like, hopes that she can find some connection with them, even if it’s just the tiniest bit. Even if it’s something as mundane as liking the same candy flavor, it would be enough to make her happy because “Look, I have something in common with my parents, after all!”

And because Akiho is so happy about that, because Akiho can smile about taking after her parents that way, it allows Kaito to drop his guard down slightly and see for the first time how much Akiho really resembles her mother.

You can tell by his reaction that this isn’t something that happens often. He’s a little stunned, to say the least, but not in a bad way.

Because if Akiho doesn’t see it in a bad way, then he wouldn’t need to either.

If Akiho is okay with it, then he would be as well. He’d support her.

The reason he says this “I’m sure you take after your mother” to Akiho is to reinforce that positive feeling she has about her parents.

It’s not for his benefit since it does nothing for him. It’s for Akiho’s because it definitely brings her joy, which she had none of before she met Kaito.

It makes Akiho happy (look at the bottom panel, tell me that she isn’t). It tells her she came from somewhere, was born from someone...and Kaito wants her to know that someone loved her very much. Loved Akiho so much, she was willing to sacrifice her life to preserve her child’s future.

Kaito smiles at Akiho so gently like this, remembers Lilie and affirms the similarities they share...because it holds great meaning to Akiho, the one he treasures most.

Finally (yes, we’re nearing the end, rejoice), the phrase “ 私だけの人”

“The only person for me.”

From what I heard, these are the arc words of Chobits and they carry the same narrative “weight” as the phrase “いちばん大切な人” (“the most important person”) does in CCS.

I haven’t had the chance to read Chobits yet but when I saw this line in ch 60, it reminded me of a particular scene in TRC (WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD):

Ch 178-179 where real!Syaoran/Tsubasa (let’s just call him Tsubasa-kun) cried out Sakura’s name after clone!Syaoran pierced through her with his sword.

clone!Sakura then turns towards him and sadly says “I am not your Sakura.”

It’s such a striking blow of a moment to the soul because not only are we given the shocking revelation that the SyaoSaku we started the story with are clones of another SyaoSaku...but it also confirms that appearances, no matter how alike they may be to each other, do not determine where a person’s heart points to.

In other words, the special feelings you have towards a specific person are not transferrable to someone else. Because those special feelings were brought about by the time you spent with that specific person. They exist within the memories you have with that one person and therefore, are unique to your relationship with that one person alone.

Keep in mind that (iirc) Tsubasa-kun had no idea that clone!SyaoSaku are his actual parents, which wasn’t revealed until later chapters. At this point in the story, he only knew they were copies created by Fei Wang Reed.

Even so, he never mistook clone!Sakura for his Sakura, who is Tsubasa-hime. He gave Syaoran one of his eyes in hopes that Syaoran will grow a heart of his own, develop feelings and create unique memories of his own (through his interactions with clone!Sakura), and become more than a pawn of the villain.

Sakura understood all this when she realized remembered what she was. She kept Tsubasa-kun at a distance once he joined their group and was always searching for her Syaoran, the one whom she started with this journey together. The Syaoran she spent time with and actually grew feelings for.

“The Syaoran-kun I love is right in front of me, right here. He is the only Syaoran for me. I can never mistake him for anyone else.”

“The Sakura you love is waiting for you. She is the only Sakura for you. You will never mistake her for anyone else either.”

And what does that “waiting for you” on the right page-panel sound so similar to?

Lilie’s words to Kaito in ch 60:

The “like/love” that belongs only to you is surely waiting for you out there, waiting for you to realize (them)

“The only person for you is waiting out there, waiting for you to find them.”

She sent him off to go find this very person...and that person cannot be anyone other than Akiho.

Because the time he spent, the precious memories he created and the special feelings born from those moments up till now are all with Akiho.

Again, if you’re a longtime CLAMP fan, you’d know that the themes they carve for stories tend to migrate back and forth across their works and also that later series often pay homage to older ones as well.

YunaAki in particular share a lot of parallels with TRC!SyaoSaku:

- SyaoSaku journey together throughout different "countries” with the purpose of collecting Sakura’s memories/feathers (source of a magical power); YunaAki travel the world together with the purpose of Akiho storing taboos from books (source of magical power) into the artifact

- The circumstances surrounding clone!Sakura were orchestrated by Fei Wang Reed, the big bad of TRC; the circumstances that turned Akiho into an artifact were carried out by her clan and the Magic Association, the true villain of Clear Card

(hell, even the designs of their signature plox dresses are similar)

- clone!Syaoran gained a heart by spending time and falling in love with clone!Sakura; Kaito learned how to love by spending time with Akiho.

- Both boys are willing to do anything, anything, to save the life of the ones they hold most dear. Even at the cost of themselves (which makes their girls worry themselves out of their minds for them, dumbies).

With these consistent patterns, it is not hard for me to believe that the likeness Akiho has with Sakura, the strong resemblance with Lilie and the constant mentioning/allusion to both throughout the story are there to illustrate a point and not (just) to throw us off.

That Akiho is her own individual with traits unique to her. That she isn’t someone without (i.e. a Lilie without magic, a Sakura without magic) and how grievously incorrect it is to think of her as “less” that way.

She is Akiho and deserves to be loved for who she is...

And Akiho already has a person who does that better than anyone else can.

This is a reiteration of what was shown in TRC...just like how “the only person for me” is another, different way of saying “my most important person”.

It means “the one I love most is like no other in the world.”

“Only this person can give me this kind of happiness. Only this person can make me feel this way. This special way I do not feel for anybody else.”

Hence, soulmates.

So far in the manga, we’ve only seen two people use this phrase:

- Lilie about the person she loves. The one who doesn’t like chocomint, is the second most powerful in her clan after her and presumably Akiho’s father.

- Nadeshiko about Fujitaka as he recalls his wife’s words to him to Sakura in ch 61.

...by all means, isn’t this CLAMP’s way of hard-lining these phrases (that THEY coined) as being romantic in nature? Cuz I certainly think so.

And that these words (“the only person for me”) were discussed with Kaito and Sakura specifically (who as a matter of fact are paralleling each other atm) ...it just foretells that at least one of them is going to end up saying this line after some kind of grand epiphany that may or may not happen somewhere during the climax.

Which we are heading towards now cuz that’s what Ohkawa confirmed on Twitter at the beginning of the year.

If it does indeed happen, 99% believe of me believes Kaito will be the one to say it because his personal story arc is the most properly built up for that kind of moment to play out. And of course 100% of me knows he’s going to declare Akiho as the only one for him.

For all the reasons above and what was discussed in Analysis #3.

And for sure, Akiho will reciprocate. Hell, she already is reciprocating because there really is no one like Kaito who would move mountains, fight monsters, challenge the world, threaten to tear it apart and rebuild it...all to express to her that he loves her more than anything else.

It can only be Kaito for her.

Just like it can only be Akiho for Kaito.

#i feel so powerful but lemme tell you I did tear up again (several times) while writing this #cuz when am I ever not going to cry over YunaAki?#never I don't think #I've really gone and sold my soul for good this time #jie jie I hope you FEASTED cuz we're gonna cry on the elliptical together later to burn off these calories ahahaha~ ❤️#cardcaptor sakura #clear card hen #shinomoto akiho #yuna d. kaito #yunaaki #akiyuna #🕰️🌾🐇

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horizon-verizon · 1 year ago

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Really, this already said a lot about how you're reasoning this all out:

People are individuals at the end of the day so I don't need to defend anyone perfectly capable of defending themselves. The loml however

I'll entertain this anyway.

Perhaps you just never saw any of my other posts about this and have now discovered it. Never mind the fact that I have already explained, several times, why I don't think Daemon and Nettles ever had any sort of relations in these links: POST#1; POST#2; POST#3. And have linked a master post of me and other users arguing for why this is not a thing HERE (darklinaforever provided this)....

Absolutely everything you just tried to argue for Daemon and Nettles outside of just Oberyn was already considered, you can take a look.

You: "Oberyn very casually has six maesters links."

We know that the Hightowers, the Faith, and the Citadel (thus maesters) are inextricably linked to maintaining the Andal patriarchy in Westeros.

And how relevant is it that Oberyn has maesters links when I have gone on this site and app to say that maesters, past and current, all are suspect storytellers because of their biases, the social biases against people like Rhaenys and Visenya and Rhaenyra for their "alternate" womanhood and the Targaryen houses at large for their dragons? If the maesters (yes as a group, systematically) have this very strong bias and wish to at least portray these people and frankly anyone who does not align "enough" with their Faith ideals of gender, sexuality, class, etc. or presents ideological as well as practical challenges to the status quo. I gave my piece about the anti-Targness in the other posts I linked. I have already argued, several times that one needs to factor in language, event context, and self-interest in how one tells a story PLUS the storyteller's class or position in society and cultural-social beliefs can influence how they will even perceive the things and actions they record, thus present an interpretation of an event with some intense logical flaws based on those biases. Aside from that, how can you 100% reliably tell what has happened in a region you weren't in to witness such event without explaining why you think so?

Maesters are not 100% credible, especially since they are more likely to look at things through a traditionalist, classist, patriarchal lens. They are helpful to see how certain people have thought and justified some things for power, for love, etc., and how current phenomena exist, but we can't say that all their records are truthful because of a number of things.

So you trying to argue that Oberyn's views are correct (not "valid", I mean "correct" bc that is what you implied by giving no further clarification or reasoning) just because he is a maester means absolutely nothing, proves nothing, provides no insight other than he went to the Citadel and read many those same ideas and thoughts other maesters like Gyldayn (who I already argue as to why they were wrong). Those same maesters who present historical events semi-with an ideological or political agenda(s), contemporary or long term.

2. (to also address you irrationally bringing up Daemon as if I were comparing him to Oberyn in the OG post)

Oberyn is just as subject to biased interpretation and is actually worse off because he uses material knowledge to really study society so much as to support his own comforts and aristocratic male identity. Daemon is similar, and yet he was willing to keep Mysaria and their coming child in the same space, with him maybe but definitely together. Like Oberyn, he gave/would have given his bastard child the means to protect themselves or at least an object that ties them directly to his own house--thus affirming that parent-child link as well as the political heritage. Oberyn was seemingly a good enough father to his daughters, giving them the means to assert themselves in the world they would live in, but this doesn't make him a perfect intellectual or a good person. His way of seeing the world is flawed and based on self-interest tied with aristocratic male privilege which does not make him a trustworthy enough character to give information on how Daemon & Nettles related to each other--his own sexual relations and relations with his daughters, esp Obara, are fraught due to his own actions.

Oberyn forcibly took his firstborn daughter Obara from her sex worker mother (of Oldtown, btw, the same place where the maesters AND Faith septon and septas all base and preach and write), slapped the mother when she tried to stop him from taking Obara, forced said young girl to make a choice (in front of the crying mother) as to who she would live with, and characterized her mother's pleading and tears as "women's weapons" in convincing her to leave with him. Said mother, not long after, died of alcoholic depression to deal with the fact that she lost her daughter and was powerless to do anything about it due to Oberyn's physical violence, strength, and class (aristocratic but also part of the ruling family of Dorne).

Oberyn--your fav (and yet you don't know or see the reasons why all this contradicts your present ideas about his intended character about this? weird)--implied that Obara's mother was an inherently weak and lesser human being because she has to resort to crying and emotional manipulation:

"I did not come to you for comfort." Her voice was full of scorn. "The day my father came to claim me, my mother did not wish for me to go. 'She is a girl,' she said, 'and I do not think that she is yours. I had a thousand other men.' He tossed his spear at my feet and gave my mother the back of his hand across the face, so she began to weep. 'Girl or boy, we fight our battles,' he said, 'but the gods let us choose our weapons.' He pointed to the spear, then to my mother's tears, and I picked up the spear. 'I told you she was mine,' my father said, and took me. My mother drank herself to death within the year. They say that she was weeping as she died." Obara edged closer to the prince in his chair. "Let me use the spear; I ask no more." (A Feast for Crows -- "A Captain of Guards")

So you saying this:

He's also very worldly and is very knowledgeable.

again means nothing in the face that this is a man who, while studying at said Citadel or not long after, impregnated a young sex worker and took her child when he could have easily installed Obara and her mother in a separate home and provided them both with care, as the stigma against bastards is not as strong in Dorne. Or he could have allowed and arranged for Obara to visit her mother while giving said mother the means to get herself out of sex work and live in a separate place from Obara. Oberyn made that choice. And he used his "knowledge" and position to justify that choice.

Let me say this as well. By hitting her mother in front of her and pointing out how Obara would be abused and taken advantage of by other men if she did not leave with him, Oberyn also set up Obara to potentially have a fraught relationship with her own womanhood, seeing it as innately weak without further empathy with said mother shown in front of Obara AND by discussing with Obara any nuanced observations of how exactly Obara's mother, as a female sex worker, was not weak for being a woman but for how their society disabled her. This is the "knowledgable" man you claim has a reliable outlook on sexual relations between a lower-class woman/girl and a highborn man. No, Oberyn doesn't have any reason to look at Nettles and Daemon and go, "that was romantic and probably 100% consensual if it was", no not at all.

So this:

Stop playing in their faces and neglecting character traits.

was very unserious of you. Sounds like you were playing in my face.

And you saying this:

He casually offers some of the best quotes in the books and show."

What does that have to do with truthtelling? I don't know, it seems that, to you, truth and investigating what we read and whatever can be conveyed don't matter as much as being entertained. I'm not even about the "moralistic and allegorical reading over pleasure" nonsense that many people fans are about. However, when you totally ignore or don't feel like actually comparing actions or admitting your fav character is flawed or has a specific narrative purpose while trying to make an argument, then you are being hypocritical and self-defeating. You've lost the platform and ability to actually make arguments or be credible. You are just displaying favoritism for its own sake and making it as if you like the character is reason enough for how other individuals should (not suggestive, but compulsory) read the text.

It becomes very obvious with your tags:

"ride or die" -- so what exactly was the point of presenting any sort of "logical" or rational argument? From the jump, you do not want to be look at this from a reasoning place but an emotional one

"oberyn my love im sorry" -- as if this apostrophe (look it up, there's no time here) of your regard for Oberyn doesn't show exaclty what I am talking about when I say "bias" and "emotional arguments". bfr.

"some of you read like maester gyldayn with these assumptions" -- babe, I hate to break it to you like this (I don't), but you have just made several assumptions yourself many times: when you claim Oberyn is automatically correct just because he was educated similarly to a maester with "all" the links; when you claim that Daemon x Nettles is fact;

[same tag] you logically contradict yourself in saying that Oberyn's correctness and credibility comes from his being like maester in education and then say "why are you just assuming like maester Gyldayn"...I thought maesters were 100% intellectually credible? That it was enough for one to be a maester to be correct?

[same tag] so you recognize that Gyldayn assumes stuff...but you claim to be a maester is 100% credible by saying Oberyn's all-linked self is an all-linked maester without any further reason

"read the book" -- like I said, I already made my arguments...using text material

Maybe we should also stop saying that "smart" (artistically or intellectually disciplined and creative and analytical) people are automatically the most compassionate or loving towards their partners or family. Look up Einstein, Leo Tolstoy, and look at current doctors and artists and doctors.

Piggying off of #2, I also find this very funny:

Speak on Daemon as you wish idc, difference of opinion.

But Oberyn isn't Daemon. Nettles isn't Daemon.

Because I just did speak of Daemon, and I did so to point out their different domestic actions, how the guy we do not remember as being intellectual made the more empathetic decision over the character who you remark is the "intellectual".

And you might say "difference of opinion" as if you are respecting my "difference of opinion" yet you make it very clear and explicit that you do not respect how I reasoned Daemon x Nettles is not a thing and you did not check out whether I talked about them before to do your "research". You claim that I was just presenting wrong and incorrect ideas (bc if ignorance) AND-OR (bc it's really both) because I was lying when you said, "Stop playing in their faces and neglecting character traits."

And when the heck did I say that Daemon and Oberyn were the same person in the original post that you are blogging and commentating/criticizing? You will have to show it to me, which ironically you did not do when you could and should have.

Of course, bringing it back to the very beginning:

People are individuals at the end of the day so I don't need to defend anyone perfectly capable of defending themselves.

Going by one of your tags, how you claim Oberyn as the "love of my life", and how you make it as if fictional characters can in any universe jump out of the page and "defend themselves"--that you must defend them--even as a joke of facetious comment got immediately contradicted and vacuumed of existence when you say "Speak on Daemon as you wish idc, difference of opinion" as if you are here to respect any one's opinion other than your own.

Lots of hypocrisy there, dude. A bunch, actually, and they are layered all over each other like stale pancakes.

It's also funny because you have definitely come around here, liking some of my posts--even if they were some time ago--and now that it has to do with Oberyn's character, you wish to complain that I am not presenting good-faith arguments.😒📸

Since you published a post on this subject, I take advantage of it. What do you think of those who use / make use of this video of GOT lore, so the series more precisely, to prove the nature of the Nettles & Daemon relationship, as being undeniably sexual ! It's quite tiring I find, in addition to not being a real proof as many claim, and I'm curious to have your opinion on the matter ?

I actually had an argument with an apparently known DaemonxNettles shipper and fanfic writer named bohemiandreams99 on this POST. It’s in the comments.

I write:

No the narrator of the piece of the video that you told me about, you say that it is Oberyn Martell? Before watching the video, I have to say that Oberyn this video (which I actually watched and even linked to on my own blog) is not an in-universe source. It is a playful exercise by the creators and voice actors in a different sort of frma narration just for narrating the Dance.

The problem with the video that you sent to me is that it is that Oberyn is not a historian nor was he there with Daemon and Nettles. Just as Mushroom wasn't.

I wouldn't call "Oberyn said it was true so it must be" evidence. Again, Oberyn wasn't there. If someone says something and it seems correct, doesn't make it true until we take context. Because that's how unreliable narration works, you take a lot of things other than "he said", "she said" to think about how they are a reliable source of info for what event/argument that are presenting.

My conclusions haven’t changed.

I will only add that the narrators, like Stannis Baratheon, are narrating the story that they have been told how it went.

Again, they were not even alive during the Dance. The people who were had many self-serving, misogynist, classist, etc. biases we would have to contextualize and inspect before we just go believing what they say: Mushroom, Septon Eustace, Maester Mellos, Maester Orwyle, Maester Munkun, etc.

Oberyn is even less reliable and credible than all the Dance sources combined, for telling how things “really went”.

It’s also...questionable for Oberyn Martell to believe that Daemon would have an affair with Nettles and then think it that particular relationship an absolute good thing.

#oberyn martell #asoiaf #agot characterization #agot #daemon and nettles #asoiaf shipping #oberyn martell's characterization #fandom nonsense #example of fandom nonsense

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therealvinelle · 4 years ago

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How do you believe Carlisle feels about Esme? How would their break up go? Would he ever cheat on her? I mean like emotionally?

He loves her.

I don’t doubt that his feelings for Esme are genuine, that he respects and cherishes her and wishes to spend his life with her. Esme, too, worships the man.

My complete lack of faith in this ship comes from the fact that they’re together for the wrong reasons and not compatible.

The Bad Beginning

Carlisle had spent centuries searching for likeminded, he never did. In the end he succumbs and starts creating his own, first Edward and then Esme, and to his joy they both agree to do the diet.

Esme’s transformation was entirely an impulse on his end. He saw this delightful, vivacious young woman he’d known ten years ago lie broken and dying in the morgue, a Jane Doe declared dead, she was all too easy to steal. She was too far gone for him to have time to think it over, and so he went «alright let’s do this. I imagine it seemed rather like God had sent her to that morgue specifically. We learn from Midnight Sun that romance wasn’t on his mind at all (even if it was, that wouldn’t make their marriage more functional) and he expected nothing of her. He bit her because he didn’t want Esme Platt to die.

Esme, of course, wakes up into this new life under surreal, heavenly circumstances. Her child is still dead - but here is the mythic, pedestaled Dr. Cullen, now her savior and more wonderful than ever. To back myself up with the books:

Esme had already been in love with Carlisle—much to his shock—but not through any mystical, magical means. She’d met Carlisle as a girl and, drawn to his gentleness, wit, and otherworldly beauty, formed an attachment that had haunted her for the rest of her human years. Life had not been kind to Esme, and so it was not surprising that this golden memory of a good man had never been supplanted in her heart. After the burning torment of transformation, when she’d awakened to the face of her long-cherished dream, her affections were entirely his. (Midnight Sun, chapter Bloodtype)

Carlisle, on his end, hadn’t had the idea at all until Edward said “Dude, she’s into you, go for it.”

I’d been on hand to caution Carlisle about her unforeseen reaction. He’d expected that she would be shocked by her transformation, traumatized by the pain, horrified by what she’d become, much as I had been. He’d expected to have to explain and apologize, to soothe and to atone. He knew there was a good chance that she would have preferred death, that she would despise him for the choice made without her knowledge or consent. So the fact that she had been immediately prepared to join this life—not really the life, but to join him—was not something he was ready for.

He’d never seen himself as a possible object of romantic love before that moment. It seemed contrary to what he was—a vampire, a monster. The knowledge I gave him changed the way he looked at Esme, the way he looked at himself.

More than that, it was very a powerful thing, choosing to save someone. It was not a decision any sane individual made lightly. (sic)

I’m not entirely void of authorial intent - I get that this was supposed to be romcom where the cute nerdy guy has no idea the girl is interested.

But, what I see is that after centuries of being alone, never finding anybody who shared his values, Carlisle finally has these two people who share his ideals, the only two in the world. He’s had countless friends, but it never worked out because of that damn diet. But, now he has these two people, and one of them is a beautiful, kind, wonderful woman who’s in love with him.

I imagine falling for Esme was easy. It was just so perfect, simply by being Carlisle Cullen he could make her happier than any other man, and given their shared diet, he wanted her by his side always, just as he did Edward. And this was it for him, really, to Carlisle Cullen Esme might as well be the only woman in the world because she’s the only one who'll share his lifestyle. He also felt responsible for her.

I don’t at all doubt their sincerity or affection for one another.

However, they did not fall for each other for each other’s sakes. Esme fell for the ideal since childhood, and Carlisle fell because she was perfect. Stick them in an AU and it won’t happen.

The Slippery Slope

Where they run into trouble is firstly that Esme doesn’t share these ideals, nor value human life for its own sake. Now, I’m not asking her to be a saint - but over the course of these books we had some lapses that I find pretty damning.

She wanted Edward back in Forks, when this would almost certainly mean the death of Bella Swan, simply because to Esme having Edward nearby > a person’s life. This wasn’t the case for Carlisle, he made it extremely clear he wanted Edward to leave.

During the “Kill Bella?” vote, she was in favor of whatever meant Edward would stay.

Carlisle, having failed to get anywhere with talking sense into Edward, sends him home to his mother for an intervention. What happens next is that Esme gives Edward her blessing to eat the delicious girl if he wants to. Now, we can’t know specifically the talk Carlisle and Esme had before this, but I can’t imagine it was this. Also, damn, what a miscommunication.

Esme simply doesn’t have a problem with the deaths of individual humans, and she will put her loved ones above all other things, even if it’s a minor inconvenience. Keeping Bella alive only becomes her priority after Edward makes it clear he wants this.

Now, Carlisle’s standards have been worn down over the centuries, he just wants his family to try not to eat people on purpose, that’s how low the bar is. Tragically for his marriage, Esme is stumbling over said bar.

The further trouble they run into is that I don’t think they’re very compatible people.

Esme means well, but she’s peculiar, to put it extremely nicely. Her ambition in life is to LARP the human life, right down to being a master chef of something her species can’t eat, which could be sweet if she did other things. She doesn’t, the closest she gets is designing homes for her family. There’s being single-minded, and then there’s Esme, who appears to have honed herself into someone who exists only to be the housewife.

This leads to bizarre behavior - for instance in Midnight Sun when Edward has realized he’s in love, he sits around laughing to himself like a lunatic while playing the piano. Something happens with Rosalie, who runs out of the house in humiliation. Esme, responding to all this, gives her infamous “the best and brightest of us all” pep talk.

It’s just such a weird scene, even accounting for the inhumanity of Twilight vampires this is weird.

Mostly, thought, it is Esme’s interests and desires in life that I find so at odds with Carlisle’s. She wants to be an improved human, living the shinier, better, life without actually embracing the inhumanity of vampirism, while Carlisle is doing the human thing because he wants to be a doctor and save lives. Before that, he was travelling the world, living with normal vampires, using his eternity to study and pursue meaning in life. Now, they end up in the same place, with similar goals - wanting to blend in with humans - but the motivation is the polar opposite.

Which in turn means that as the world turns and their lives inevitably change, the way they live will have to change. This will spell trouble.

There’s also me having a strong suspicion these two don’t have much of a physical relationship, if any. Meyer specifically referred to their relationship as spiritual, and that fits the vibe we get from them in the books. Quite notably, Rosalie and Emmett were impossible to be around when they were newlyweds, while Carlisle and Esme weren’t a problem at all.

Not to mention what Esme longed for all those years was very much an ideal of a man, which to me doesn’t immediately point to a very physical attraction.

The Penultimate Peril

Would he cheat on her, you ask. Answer is yes, they’re both cheating emotionally with Edward. No.

He’s with her because he wants to be, and feels responsible for her. More, developing the kinds of feelings necessary for an emotional affair isn’t really on the table for him, since everyone else in the world is either a. one of his kids or the Denali, b. an unrepentant man-eating demon. So, unless Tanya’s feeling frisky, Carlisle doesn’t have anybody to cheat with.

(I’m here defining an emotional affair, which as I understand it is a bit hard to define, as a romantic, but non-physical entanglement. The cheating party has to know their partner wouldn’t be cool with it for it to count in my eyes.)

As for physically cheating on her, nope. God no, not ever. Unless something really convoluted like the plot of Blue Moon unfolded, but that’s really more a case of Esme pimping out her husband to her daughter-in-law, so everyone’s to blame here.

The end

I think the breakup can happen in any number of ways, but I think either way it will be sudden.

These two aren’t going to go “you know, I think we’ve grown apart” because Esme would never acknowledge that nevermind walk up to Carlisle and say it, and if Carlisle realized things aren’t working he’d still want to stick it out for her sake.

I think it’ll be sudden, it’ll happen as the immovable object that is them is hit by an unstoppable force. One will go someplace the other can’t follow. Maybe when the Cullen coven splits down the middle, and they’re on each their own side of the chasm, or maybe some other cause entirely.

It’ll devastate them both, but given the people these two are, I think it’s inevitable.

#carlisle cullen #esme cullen #carlisle/esme #twilight #twilight meta #twilight renaissance #hope you all think the header theme was as funny as i did #a series of unfortunate events aka-#Anonymous #ask

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still-a-morosexual-help · 3 years ago

Text

OBEY ME! LESSON 60 DETAILED SUMMARY + DISCUSSION/THEORIES

*I wrote this days after the lesson was first posted and never bothered to go back and edit it so meaning there will be me theorizing about the next lesson as well

*I write a small para for each chapter and I write it immediately after finishing that chapter so there’ll be theorizing about the next chapter too

*I swear more than usual here

*Some of the dialogue is heavily plagiarized and a few is lifted directly from the story, the game is to figure which is which.

*Summaries and Discussions/theories for all the other lessons can be found on this blog under #obey me spoilers or #my theories or #my headcanons

Welp this is it… DAMNNNNNN the last two seasons each had a lesson near the beginning of the season dedicated just to a date with Mammon and I’m praying S4 has one as well and though it sucks Mammon & MC’s hellos and goodbyes are always really sweet and ahhh how am I already missing them. I’m desperate for S4 and I haven’t even finished S3 yet… fuck okay.

Post Lesson 60 edit: The last chapter goodbyes are gonna be direct quotes cause I’m an emotional mess.

As MC is about to head outside Mammon calls out to them and tells them to bring him a cake on the way home, they ask him why he’s been so cold and distant with them lately and he frowns at them and says he doesn’t know what they’re talking about and tells them not to forget the cake and then he leaves. Asmo who had being eavesdropping laughs and says that even for Mammon that was oddly bossy and arrogant. He then asks if he can tag along with them partway cause he’s heading to the spa. As they walk past the lake Asmo tells MC not to hold Mammon’s recent attitude against him and that he’s so upset about having to leave MC again that he doesn’t know what to do with himself and since rn all he can think about is MC he’s not sure how to act around them. Asmo says Mammon’s spending too much time dwelling on this. He looks disappointed and shakes his head when he asks himself what he’s gonna do about Mammon and that he’s being a child. (IS2G Asmo is the number #1 Mammon x MC shipper???????? Relatable) MC asks him if he hasn’t been dwelling on leaving. He asks if they wish he was and says they’re always on his mind and that’s why he doesn’t seem any different now. He says the actual reason he’s still so himself and not outwardly upset is cause he has faith (HA!) that they’ll end back together again like all the previous times they had to separate. He says he’s still sad about having to say goodbye but all that makes him want to do is treasure the moments they have rn. They can hold his hand, kiss him or say that’s a really Asmo thing if him to say. He smiles and says positivity is one of his charms (Asmo ily but weren’t you the one who got drunk and cried and needed to have Satan carry you back home the first time MC left…) They eventually part ways. I’m guessing the order of the rest of the ‘goodbyes’ is gonna be Satan, Mammon and then Lucifer cause those two always end up last in that order…

EYYYYY! They run into satan and ask where he’s off to. He says he’s off to the bookstore to stock on some human books before they head home and asks MC if they want to tag along. He hands them a list and tells them to start looking from the top and that he’ll start from the bottom. He says thwy can use magic as long as no human sees them (ME: thinking back to that one human MC, Belphie and Diavolo scared the shit out of…Hmmmm). They agree and he says that knowing they studied under Solomon makes him feel safe to trust that they know what they’re doing. He says he always knows he can count on them when he needs them and that being in the Devildom without them will be troublesome (I said in the fairy dust/angel lesson that Satan & MC are incredibly similar and that their friendship is highly underrated and I still stand by that.) MC uses magic to lift a book from a high shelf and Satan warns them that someone’s coming making them loose their concentration and the book to come falling down, Satan shields them though and gets hit with it instead. They each ask if the other is alright and he says they need to be more careful that no one sees them (ME: INTENSELY THINKING BACK TO THAT TIME WITH DIAVOLO AND BELPHIE WHEN MC WAS WILLING TO BARBEQUE A MAN FOR FIRING A GUN AT BELPHIE) He blushes and tells them he’ll show what he means and he takes them behind a bookshelf where no one can see and wraps his arms around them and pulls them close (Satan what kinda romance novel pickup line was that??? Also all I can imagine is that SNL bookstore skit with John Cena & Aidy Bryant). MC can kiss him, wrap their arms around him or just thank him for shielding them earlier. He says there’s no need to thank him and that he’s just happy they’re not hurt, He then laughs softly and asks if they’ll be okay once he’s gone. They ask him in turn if he’ll be okay. He blushes and says he won’t and that just thinking about life without them was enough to drive him mad.

At dinner levi asks if everyone is there and Beel looks sad and says Mammon isn’t, Belphie sighs and says he always has to make things difficult. Levi says it’s okay and he gets it and that Mammon obviously thinks dinner’s gonna suck since Levi made it and holy shit can we pls take Levi to a therapist pls? Belphie says Levi’s beating himself up for no reason and Levi goes on a rant about how he’s an ultra-negative, depressing otaku and how no one likes being around him ajndsvddjsnk LEVI pls!!? (unrelated but Levi’s actually my third favourite) Belphie asks MC to go get Mammon and Beel tells them to hurry. They knock and enter his room. They ask him what he’s doing and he says he was just watching a shark movie Satan gave him. He asks if they’re here to tell him about dinner and that they should head back and eat and not to worry about him. He looks upset and says he’s not in the mood to eat. They say they’re really gonna miss him and he’s eyes widen for a sec before he looks away and asks if they’re some sorta kid. He then laughs though and says they’re not the only one who feels that way. He blushes and says of course he’s gonna miss them too and that they already knew that. He asks if there isn’t some other way for them to stay together forever. He says that being a sorcerer they have to make something happen. They can say a.) that despite being a sorcerer they’re still pretty green and he laughs and says the one time he needs them they’re no use at all. He blushes and tells them to hurry up and ‘ripen’ and that a green sorcerer won’t cut it. B.) being a demon he should make something happen. He says if there was something he could do he woulda done it a long time ago. Looking aside again he says hanging out with them and talking about dumb stuff is something he takes for granted and he just realized he won’t be able to do it again anytime soon, he says that once he’s back in the devildom life would be dull and that once he used to be happy as long as he had money but after they met that was ruined. And now during his free time he thinks about them and feels all worried and unsettled. He blushes and asks them to stay with him and keep him company since all this is their fault. Belphie texts them asking where the fuck they are they say they’ll have dinner with Mammon later, he then wishes them luck with Mammon.

In the music room Levi’s bemoaning how he understands that any coffee he makes won’t be good enough while a wide eyed Asmo asks him what he’s talking about cause as you can see Asmo is drinking his coffee, Levi says he never admitted it was good though. Asmo smiles and reassures him that it’s actually good and asks Belphie to back him up. Belphie says he wants no part of any of this which immediately crumbles all of Asmo’s hard work and makes Levi depressed. Lucifer pops his head in and once he spots MC asks them to come to his room. They ask what he wants to talk about, he says he’ll tell them when he gets there. To the room as a whole he says that Diavolo wants them all at the hotel the next day. This surprises both Mammon & Beel, and Satan asks if there’s another problem at the hotel, making everyone turn and eye Levi who turns red and protests. In his room Lucifer asks if MC knows why he called them and they say nope. He asks if they really don’t know or if they’re just playing dumb. When they don’t answer he says it’s about why Diavolo called them to the hotel. He says Diavolo hasn’t told him the reason behind it and asks if MC knows, saying that for Diavolo not to tell him it has to be either something that’ll supremely piss off Lucifer or something that Diavolo finds fun and exciting that Lucifer won’t like but will have to endure. They say they don’t know anything about it. He says, “what do you think you can lie to me? Have you forgotten who the fuck I am exactly!?” When they still remain silent he drops the blank faced glare and laughs saying he can take a guess at what’s going on considering they’re not willing to share. He says considering this is them they’re probably gonna do something nice for them and he tells them they’re really sweet, they tell him not to stop and to keep stroking their ego (or they can ask for a reward). He says he may considering how things go tomorrow. He then pauses and says he’s actually in the mood to indulge them today so he’ll sing their praises just for today. (They can ask if he’s sad about saying goodbye, he says yes and then blushes and says obviously that means they’re spending the night in his room – I noped out at this point. Is it weird that Lucifer’s the only brother I can’t see MC platonically sharing a bed with?) They then tease him saying this is very unlike him. He blushes and agrees, saying that when he’s with them he doesn’t have to be the avatar of pride but that’s okay because they love all the different sides of him (I thought this was really sweet, Lucifer needs to know that there’s someone who loves him as a whole even the parts of him that are massive jerks and I love that this interaction can be read as either romantic or platonic. He smiles and says he’s looking forward for tomorrow.

The brothers are all surprised when from the hotel they are taken to the currently most popular club in the human world that has been reserved all for them, with Simeon making all the food and Luke making cakes. Luke tries his best to protect the food from Beel while Satan and Mammon say how surprise they were by Barbatos’s magic making them walk out into the club after walking into the hotel. MC asks if they like it and Lucifer says of course they do and thanks them for doing this. Solomon says he has a present for all of them too, Levi worries that he cooked for them (though he asks it with the sweetest smile cause all these demons are still hanging on to not letting Solomon know his food is toxic waste in case it hurts his feelings) and Lucifer whispers to MC that if so they might all die here. Solomon says he had offered to help cook but Simeon had insisted he had it all handled (he looks awfully disappointed when saying this). Mammon cheers on Simeon and Belphie says “…yeah I never thought I’d owe my life to Simeon but here we are” Their real present is Solomon lighting up the room with what, according to Belphie, looks like a fallen star. Asmo gushes about how beautiful it is. Beel asks if he can eat it. Levi laughs and tells him he better not. Diavolo says they should officially start the party and everyone cheers. In a side lounge area Simeon says seeing the brothers enjoying the party so much makes all the effort feel worth it, Barbatos says he’s just happy seeing Diavolo having so much fun and he thanks MC. They say they could never have done it without their help in the first place. Simeon says it was MC to got them all working together to make this happen in the first place. Levi then arrives to come drag MC towards the karaoke (which Diavolo insisted they have – poor man’s still trying to sing a duet with Lucifer I see)

Satan and Asmo complain about Levi hogging the mic and singing anime songs, he yells at them for not understanding the raw passion and energy of anime songs (which isn’t that true? Anime songs have a unique kinda passion that makes you hyped that I’ve never being able to find in other songs..). Levi tells MC to forget about them and MC asks to sing a duet. Levi says he’ll queue up a bunch of duets and Mammon yells at Levi for hogging the mic and using this as an opportunity to hit on MC. Levi laughs and says that he’s not swooping in and doing anything the way Mammon said and that MC wants to sing with him. Mammon then blushes and demands to sing the next duet with them from MC. Asmo then calls the one after that and Mammon asks Beel & Belphie what they’re doing. They’re mixing drinks. MC says there new drink (demonous with scorpion powder and something else) sounds really good (cause they’re a freak like that) Belphie says the flavours do seem to go surprisingly well together and he asks Mammon to try some. He protests saying they just want to use him as a guinea pig. Lucifer’s drawn to the commotion and says they all seem to be fun, Levi asks if he wants to sing next and he says later, he then thanks MC for planning a fun surprise for them and that they were able to create some nice final memories in the human world before heading home. MC says they’ll share more great times together and Lucifer laughs and agrees saying this won’t be the last time they’re all together and this is just one of many happy memories they’ll share in the future. When they go back to the lounge area Solomon says they could hear them all talking, singing and laughing all the way from over here despite the music, emphasizing that they could hear Levi the most. Diavolo asks them to come sit and pours them another drink and says they were all talking about them and how they helped them enjoy their time in the human realm. He thanks them from the bottom of his heart. Solomon says last time they were all together in the Devildom and this time it was in the human realm and asks where they should be together next. Luke is surprised he’s already thinking about the next time. He laughs and says it’s cause he can barely wait for the next time they are all together. MC can suggest one of the three worlds. (personally I chose the Devildom cause the brothers aren’t allowed in the Celestial Realm and as much as I am completely in love with Mammon’s human world look I miss the aesthetic of the Devildom.) Diavolo laughs and says he’s happy they’ve taken such a liking to the Devildom and that he’d love for them to come back and that the brothers will be thrilled too. From the distance and getting closer they hear Lucifer telling his brothers to quit pushing him. Mammon tells him to just hurry up and go inside. Levi says Lucifer has to be with them or they won’t be taken seriously. Lucifer groans and asks if they’re actually planning on saying “this to him”. “Of course.” Says Satan. Belphie says it’s at least worth asking. Asmo agrees saying anything’s possible if you put your mind to it. They all tumble into the lounge area and Solomon asks what brings them all here. Lucifer looking tired says that his brothers have something to ask Diavolo. Mammon tells Lucifer not to act as if he isn’t part of this and as if it hasn’t been on his mind too. Diavolo chuckles and asks what they want to ask. Beel says they’ve all been thinking about something for a while now and they want to discuss it with him. The brothers all together yell: “We want MC to join the family!” GUUUUUYYYYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!? Not me softly sobbing at the image this makes in my head ahhhhhhh!??????? AHHHHHH!?????????? MC’s shocked and speechless. Asjvfkjffvuiefhi pls don’t give me hope like this wtf and what do they mean by join the family cause I don’t mind Lucifer more or less adopting them, and like Beel said they already seem to be a part of the family but MC brought up proposals with A LOT of the brothers so is that what they mean? Like marriage??? But they’re all asking and other than Beel & Belphie wanting to share with each other and Asmo being open to threesomes none of them want to share MC so……. Also I do not see my OM! MC getting married at all but at the same time if it was to squirrel their way into a permanent position in the family then…

Diavolo’s wide-eyed and stunned silent, and then he asks “…huh!?” Solomon bursts out laughing. Luke is red faced and tells Solomon this is no time to laugh. Solomon still laughing chokes out that he’s never seen Diavolo so stunned. Luke pauses and then asks what exactly they mean by ‘join the family’ and then he turns red and demands if they mean marrying MC. The brothers obviously haven’t really thought about what ‘join the family’ means and only now realise it can imply marriage. Asmo immediately volunteers. Mammon red faced protests to MC marrying Asmo and then stuttering says that if they’re gonna marry anyone they should marry him (he screams the last part out after struggling through the first part). Levi gets pissed saying if MC marries a scumbag like Mammon they’d have a dark, terrible future (watch me put together a 200 slide presentation refuting this) Belphie tells Asmo and Mammon to back off before they mess things up. Lucifer, looking dead tired, says it’s already a mess. Diavolo goes, “Umm…Lucifer?” and asks him to explain what’s going on. He says the others want MC around on a permanent basis so they don’t have to say goodbye ever and they put their heads together and decided on this. “Marriage!?” goes Luke. Solomon says the demons hadn’t thought how they’d make them part of the family. Lucifer tells Satan that he can look at the others like they’re a band of idiots but to leave him outta it. Solomon asks MC what they think of all this and they say they want to be part of the family too (it’s implied through out the main storyline that generally MC’s someone who’s very calm and collected and who while being incredibly blunt doesn’t express their emotions outwardly much (at the beginning of S2 Lucifer even comments on them being more expressive than before they left) but I’d like to imagine at this moment they are wet eyed and beaming because of these loveable idiots who ARE their family even if it’s not official). Diavolo smiles and says he sees. Luke has problems with humans and demons mixing and being a family (LUKE I THOUGHT WE WERE OVER THIS!?) “Yes, Luke. I know…” says Diavolo. His face then becomes serious and he’s silent and contemplative. Diavolo looks at MC and says that though they aren’t aware of it there’s still bad blood amongst the three worlds and that no matter how much they all want to be a family and stay together it’s not within his power to let that happen. He looks upset and apologizes. Lucifer is silent. He says though that his goal is to one day remove these barriers between the worlds and that he’ll do everything in his power to make that happen, and as the future demon king he promises that one day he’ll make it so that they can marry anyone in this room (I’m screaming just MC – queer as hell and with they/them pronouns waiting in the human world for marriage to get legalized only to fall in love with someone from another world and having to wait AGAIN for marriage to be legalized… I’d have lost my entire shit.) “WELL, isn’t that good for you, you apprentice poaching motherfuckers but guess what I’m a human meaning WE can get married in the meantime… CHECKMATE, BITCHES~” says Solomon. Mammon actually snaps at Solomon and calls him a “son of a –“ before he remembers the child in the room and trails off and snaps at him not to say stuff like that. Belphie asks if Solomon can even be classified as a human given his age. (Can MC even be classified as fully human given the whole Lilith situation? I mean ik Lilith was reincarnated as a human but she still kept and passed on her supernatural magic. Plus there’s a Belphie devilgram that takes places pre S1 that implies MC’s not fully human plus that whole thing about fairy hallucination angel!Lucifer not taking MC’s word for it when they said they were human… it’s very likely though everyone here’s too dumb to realise it). Satan says at this point Solomon might as well be a demon. Asmo tells him not to pretend to be a human when it’s convenient. He laughs and says that even though he can’t grow old or die he still belongs to the human race. Beel says that maybe but Solomon isn’t playing fair, Levi agrees and says Solomon’s also making him jealous. Diavolo says MC sure is popular seeing as they are all fighting over them. Lucifer says he knew this would happen and that’s why he didn’t want them to have this discussion. Luke’s shocked that MC’s got demons and the world’s greatest sorcerer wrapped around their finger, MC asks him if he sees them in a new light now. Luke says he thinks it’s impressive but it also creeps him out.

Back near the dance floor, Satan laughs and says Beel’s eating too much, Beel says Satan’s drinking too much, Satan who actually seems tipsy says he’s nowhere near his limit and challenges Beel to a competition to see who reaches their drink/food limit first, Beel agrees. Given how much beel can eat I can only assume this is the last we see of Satan RIP. Barbatos, looking uncharacteristically extremely worried, tells them to slow down cause neither of them know to stop. Levi, finishing up his song, calls for Luke who booked next but Mammon says Simeon went to put the “little guy” to sleep and asks Levi to come play cards instead. Lucifer, who’s playing with Mammon, asks if he hasn’t lost enough at this point, Mammon turns red and says this time he’s gonna win it all back. Asmo laughs and says Mammon just jinxed himself. Belphie asks why MC’s looking around the room so restlessly and they can say A.) I don’t see Diavolo anywhere B.) where’s Solomon? Either way the answer is he has no idea where Solomon went but he did see Diavolo head out earlier. He says the two of them are probably together talking. MC finds Diavolo and asks what he’s up to. He says he wanted a break and to gaze at the city lights and sober up a little since he won’t be able to see them again for awhile. He asks them to sit next to him and then laughs and says he could barely believe his ears after he heard what the brothers asked. He says he’s known the seven of them for a long time and knows how close they are and that it’s unbelievable that they’d want to include someone new to the family (MY HEART!? ALSO FOUND FAMILY TROPE!) He says it almost makes him jealous. They say that they know for a fact that he’s very important to the brothers too. He’s like “thanks for saying that but rn you’re either playing dumb or you actually are this dumb which makes me question my taste but then again I’m also in love with Lucifer so…” and he says he’s jealous of the brothers not them (Sure, Jan. We know you’re jealous of them both don’t lie). He says he feels the same as them and blushes and says he keeps thinking about how it could be if they were together forever (Sir, pls Lucifer is right there. He’s available. Pls.) He says if their relationship was on that level and if their bond was deep and permanent like those of a family he can’t even imagine how amazing that’d be (he keeps repeating ‘family’ and the brothers weren’t even thinking marriage when they asked for MC to be part of their family and Diavolo was really shocked and he now said specifically it was them asking about being ‘family’ before Luke even first mentioned marriage that made Diavolo jealous. What I’m saying is that considering Diavolo’s lonely, strict childhood the one thing he wants more than anything is a family not marriage specifically). He smiles and says they beat him to the punch and that he asks them to give him time cause he’s gonna do everything he can to mend the bridges between the three worlds for MC and for the brothers…and a little bit for himself. He gives them his word.

Out on the balcony Solomon greets them and asks if they shouldn’t be down with the others, they say they needed a break and wanted to talk to him, he wonders if the others would be pissed if they knew Solomon had MC all to himself. He says he figured he’d stay out of the way today and let MC and the demons spend time together considering he’ll have enough time to hang out with them later. He says he can’t believe they asked MC to join the family and that he didn’t see that coming. He starts laughing again about how serious they looked and how shocked Diavolo looked, and how Lucifer looked like he had a migraine (Ik we all say Lucifer’s the sadist but have we considered…) MC asks if he really thinks it’s that funny (and I’m pretty sure they’re offended on the brothers’ behalf and hurt cause that’s what they want too.) Solomon says for him it’s funny. He says it’s common of a demon to ask for a business arrangement or a pact but he’s never heard of them asking humans to join their family. He smiles and says he’s beginning to think he chose a “truly incredible” human as his apprentice. MC asks what the demons in his life are to him, he gives it serious thought and said these days he sees them as close friends. MC asks if things were different earlier and he says they were but also asks that they not get into things rn cause the story is long and tedious, MC asks if he’s just trying to avoid their question and if he’s gonna tell them the truth or not. He laughs and says nope and that though you can’t tell it by looking at him he’s a little too tipsy. He reminds them that they’re barely a sorcerer rn and that they should leave questions like that for later until they can use “magic like this” without an incantation. He uses magic to teleport the others on to the balcony (what a snake. Imagine instead of going to a crowd to escape a conversation you use your magic to bring the crowd to you to avoid a conversation AND to set a line for MC to reach before they can start poking at his past.) Asmo says he’s being wondering where the two of them went and how naughty it was to sneak off together, Levi complains about being cut halfway through a song, Beel asks MC to judge his eating competition with Satan and Satan says it’s actually a drinking competition. Barbatos looking deeply concerned asks if the two of them intend to empty the hotel’s pantry AND its wine cellar. He asks MC to stop them. Lucifer’s goading Mammon and kicking his ass in a card game and Mammon refuses to give up (HC that Lucifer taught Mammon to play cards up in the Celestial Realm as a way to get him to sit still and NOT set the drapes on fire). Belphie comments on the card game and the party continues. (Pretty sure Solomon saw the demons as pawns or tools to get what he wants/ for more power and that he was much more ruthless with making pacts with them than he is now when he pesters Lucifer (aka getting Asmo drunk while he was upset and making a pact) the question is why? And why did Michael basically sponsor this? We know that the Celestial Realm and Devildom had just called a truce when Michael took an interest in Solomon so could it be that he wanted someone to keep an eye on the demons and the best way to do that was to have a powerful human sorcerer make as many pacts with demons as possible. I mean Solomon made a pact with Asmo mostly because he was Lucifer’s brother and Michael still has a heavy interest in the brothers so it could be possible that he wanted Solomon to make a pact with one of them so that he could see what they were doing?)

LAST ONE GUYS! :) I’m okay really :)))))))) Outside the manor in the morning, Barbatos tells Diavolo it’s time and Diavolo looking really sad agrees. (RIGHT OFF THE BAT HUH!?) Even Solomon seems upset when he realizes it’s time and then that damn song starts playing, that ending song that always chokes me up and this time it doesn’t feel as sad as last season because honestly the “Till we meet again” party really helped while last season all the brothers tried to run away with MC and that shit HURT but it still makes me choked up FUCK I want them back so badly. Diavolo comes up to MC and says they have to return and that though they weren’t here for a long time it was really fun. “So, till we meet again, MC” he ends with. Barbatos thanks them for all they did to make their stay in the human world more comfortable. He says next time they meet he’ll prepare a special tea for them that he’s sure they’ll like. From here we’re going to direct quotes because I am EMOTIONAL:

Mammon says, while not meeting their eyes: …Listen, why’re you sittin’ around twiddling your thumbs, huh? I saw how hard you worked to become a sorcerer, so I know you got it in ya. (He blushes, still not meeting their eyes) Hurry up and learn summoning magic ASAP! You big dummy… (he finally looks up at them and smiles) And once you learn it, you’d better summon ME first! All right? You promise, right? (MC can either hug or kiss him….AND YOU GUYS MUST KNOW ME BY NOW SO MC just kisses him in front of all the brothers just like that????????? – he blushes and looks away again) Dammit, now I wanna take you back to the Devildom with me… (He meets their eyes one more time, face still red)

Levi says, blushing and looking aside: …You know that game we were playing? Final Devil Kingdom… (He looks up at them, still blushing) Well, I’ve decided not to make any more progress in it until I see you next. (He smiles brightly then) So we need to get together and play it again as soon as possible, okay? I mean, I’m dying to move on to the next dungeon… (He looks up at them with a sad expression then and they can either hug or kiss him and look I love Levi but I’ve already made my choice so MC hugs him – he blushes and gets a determined expression on his face) I’m going to be messaging you a lot, okay? So… don’t ignore my texts, or I’ll cry. (He smiles at them one more time)

Satan says, looking confident and meeting their eyes: …There are several cats who come by the manor for food each day. Make sure to take care of them for me. If you’re on the job, I feel like I can rest easy knowing they’ll be okay. (He frowns, blushes and looks away then) But keep in touch. Let me know how the cats are doing every day. Got it? Every day. (They hug him and he laughs and then says with a smile) Knowledge is power. The more you have, the better off you’ll be. So study hard, and learn to stand on your own two feet as a sorcerer as soon as you can.

Asmo says, looking really upset but making eye contact: No matter how I dress myself up or how cute I make my nails and makeup, if I can’t show it to the one I love the most, it won’t be fun at all. (He smiles then) So, I’ve decided to think about it this way… I have to strive to make myself more and more beautiful with each passing day! 🤍 (He smiles even more brightly) So that one day you’ll fall for me completely and then you’ll be all mine! How does that sound? (MC hugs him and he giggles, and says smiling) I’m going to put a little something extra on my hug! 🤍 (he squeezes them closer)

Beel says with a soft smile looking in at them: …It was fun getting to eat together with you every day here human world, MC. (His smile brightens) You know, when you’re with the right person, good food has a way of tasting even better. I want to be able to eat with you all the time, every single day. I want that to be normal. And I’m going to do whatever I can to make it so that someday soon, it really will be like that. (MC hugs him and he blushes and smiles and says) Make sure you eat enough, okay? Take care of yourself.

Belphie says also with a soft smile, making eye contact: I’m glad I got this chance to live here in the human world. Spending each day together with you in your world has been incredibly fun. (He looks sad and looks to the side) …Having to go to sleep every night in a house without you in it from now on is going to be really sad, and really lonely. (MC hugs them and he blushes but his expression is still sad and he doesn’t make eye contact) Take care, MC…

Lucifer’s wearing that fond smile that makes his eyes squint shut and he says: …Never did I imagine that one day, I’d find it this hard to say goodbye to you. I’ve managed to shock even myself. (He looks up at them then) Once I’m back in the Devildom, where I can’t see you anymore, this feeling is probably going to grow even worse. I hope this is every bit as difficult for you as it is for me. (MC hugs him) …Let’s make sure we see each other again sooner rather than later. (He gives that soft fond smile again)

Barbatos opens the portal. Solomon tells them all to take care. There’s a flash of bright light and the opening song starts playing. “MC!” Yells Mammon with a bright smile before he jumps in. “Toodles!” Says a beaming, waving Asmo. “Till next time!” says Levi with a small smile. “Take care of yourself!” Says a brightly smiling Belphie. “Bye…” Says Beel with a smile. “See you around.” Says Satan with a smile. “See you next time.” Says Lucifer with a nod of his head and a smile. “Goodybe, MC.” Says Diavolo with a bright smile. There’s another flash and the portal’s closed and they’re all gone. The credits play thanking all the main and side character VAs over human world backgrounds and YOU! Back in front of the manor Solomon says it suddenly got so quiet that he feels lonely. MC’s silent and doesn’t answer him. “Hey,” he says after a bit, “didn’t they officially hire you as their “babysitter” because you came here looking for a job, you know that thing you need to be able to survive independent adult life in the human world… Did they ever pay you for that?” “…SON OF A B–” At the angel’s halo Simeon tells a sad, silent Luke that the others must have gone back home by now, Luke quietly agrees. Simeon laughs and asks if that bothers Luke. Luke blushes, stutters and denies it. Luke tries to change the topic by telling Simeon to hurry up and grind some coffee cause they’re about to open. Simeon says they still have enough time and Luke says he’s gonna take out the trash and runs out back to avoid his feelings and this conversation. Simeon laughs. The door opens and Simeon turns to tell them they’re not opened yet but trails off. ??? says, “I can see that, yes…” Simeon’s eyes widen and his mouth turns down, he’s too shocked to say anything. ??? says, “Well, look at you. I could almost believe you really are a human, brother…” Simeon’s entire face goes blank and settles on a cold emotionless expression though he still doesn’t reply before he slowly smiles, “…Welcome. So glad you could stop by, Raphael.” And the chapter, the lesson and the season is over. So…SO…you know I don’t even have words really. I’m not, we really are getting new characters aren’t we. I mean I said in some of the earlier summaries that at this point with the way they were hyping up the angels in this season that it only makes sense to bring them in BUT I never 100% believed they would and now I’m just???? They really are gonna do it holy fuck GUYS!? I need S4 badly like rn immediately but given that the break between S2 and S3 was really small AND that they maybe introducing at least 2 new characters the break between S3 and S4 might be longer AND I get it y’know but still I desperately need this now. Holy shit. And Simeon’s facial expressions! How he looked surprised and upset and then how his face just shut down (something we rarely or never? See from him) and then how it smoothed out into a smile ajsdvbkdwhskcjksk Raphael’s way of speaking fit exactly with what I imagined after what Asmo, Lucifer and Belphie said about him. This kinda formal, authoritative, cold, distant way. And the tension between him and Simeon!? “BROTHER!????” Does he mean brother in the same way as the Sins do or is it more brother in arms the way I see Lucifer and Simeon being in the Celestial Realm? It felt cold compared to them. Pls give me a heavily dysfunctional, distant and cold angel family to contrast with the dysfunctional but close and loving demon family I WILL SCREAM. I’ve screamed all my angel and celestial realm theories in the previous summaries (there are a lot) so I’m not gonna go into detail about them here but I will say I’m keeping my fingers crossed for morally dubious/grey angels who believe they are completely in the right at all times and I’m deeply scared of getting at least part of S4 without the brothers as we are introduced to the angels – I mean don’t get me wrong I’d love if they took time to introduce us to the angels without the brothers’ dynamics with them being involved and to give us a chance to hear their side of the story before they have the whole reunion between everyone BUT I’ll also feel the heavy withdrawal effects of being deprived of the brothers so yeah. Overall the goodbye to the brothers felt far more uplifting than last season’s one given that they ended with the upbeat opening song and not the melancholic sounding ending song. WOW okay. I’m gonna try and get through the hard lessons and unlock the chapters I couldn’t since S2. SEE YOU NEXT SEASON! LOVE AK 🤍

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dwellordream · 3 years ago

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“Among scholars of family history, the accepted view now is that long before the seventeenth century, parents developed strong attachments to their children, loved their offspring, went to great lengths to try to secure their well-being, and grieved when a child died. Nonetheless, the ideas of Ariès and Stone are deeply embedded in popular images of historical childhood. Commonly accepted notions about the history of childhood tend to oversimplify Ariès’s argument into a straightforward idea of progress: parents of the past treated their children as little adults and did not express emotion or truly love their offspring; modern parents love their children. Modern life is better.

True, life in sixteenth-century Europe was difficult in very basic ways, and the survival of children was not to be taken for granted. Infant mortality rates varied widely over time and across geographical regions in early modern Europe. England and northern Germany had significantly lower infant mortality than, for example, France and southern Germany. Still, scholars estimate that on average, the mortality rate for infants younger than a year old was 20 percent; about half of all children died before the age of ten. These rates were higher or lower depending on breast-feeding practices and environmental factors.

Across Europe, children who were breast-fed by their own mothers survived at much higher rates than did children who were sent to wet nurses or children who were fed cow’s milk. Within the same country and in areas with similar cultural practices, children raised in mountainous and more sparsely populated areas tended to survive longer than children who lived in marshy regions with stagnant water and more polluted air. Neither the Protestant nor the Catholic Reformation directly affected infant mortality rates, but the ideas of both Reformations spread among populations faced with the reality of significant—and, at the time, seemingly uncontrollable—infant mortality.

This did not mean that parents remained detached from their children or that society did not care about children until they had survived to adulthood, as Ariès and others have argued. Protestant reformers—and some Catholic reformers, as well—paid considerable attention to children and to the question of how to provide for their material and spiritual needs by incorporating them into church and society and raising them as faithful Christians. The most obvious ways in which the Reformation affected children concerned the alteration of church ceremonies and educational practices. During the sixteenth century, many churches tried to extend, or reestablish, the influence of religious principles and beliefs in people’s daily lives.

These efforts had an impact on the ways that children were disciplined, educated, and taught to conceive of themselves and their roles in society. Most churches’ influence over these aspects of a child’s life began with the ceremony of infant baptism, when the child was recognized as a member of the church community. Traditionally, baptism was the first of seven official sacraments that marked the stages of a person’s life and of his or her participation in the Christian community. Sixteenth-century Protestant reformers reduced the number of sacraments from seven to only two: communion and baptism.

As one of the two remaining sacraments, baptism was vitally important as a church ritual. And while church members were expected to receive communion at least once a year, baptism occurred only once in a lifetime. This singular importance meant that the significance and proper execution of baptism became a matter of debate not only among reformers but between reformers and laypeople as well. Since the early Middle Ages, a child’s first official encounter with the Christian church had been at his or her baptism.

During the first millennium of the church’s existence, the sacrament of baptism had evolved from a ceremony initiating adult believers into the church to a ritual that incorporated an infant into the church community, cleansed him or her of sin, and ensured that, in the event of sudden death, he or she would still be welcomed into heaven. In the 1520s, “radical” Anabaptist reformers began to teach that infants should not be baptized. For these reformers, a valid baptism required that a child be old enough to make a statement of faith and to choose to be baptized. When some Anabaptists came to be associated with political and civil unrest, religious and civic authorities began to regard adult baptism itself as threat of social disorder.

Partly as a result of this negative association, “mainline” reformers including Martin Luther, Huldrych Zwingli, and John Calvin maintained the practice of infant baptism in their churches. In addition, for these reformers, baptism was an example of the limitless nature of God’s grace and of the importance of faith rather than of any particular human action. The sacrament of baptism was effective not simply because the minister said the correct words or performed the required steps; rather, baptism had an effect because of the faith of the participants and the working of God’s grace. But the precise nature of this effect was disputed among the reformers and their followers.

While they continued to baptize infants, just as the Catholic Church did, each Protestant reformer had a particular understanding of what exactly was happening during the sacrament. Luther, for example, kept the Catholic idea that baptism was a moment of cleansing, when a baby was purified of original sin. At the opposite extreme, Zwingli defined baptism as a symbol of the Old Testament covenant between God and God’s people and a ritual that bound the community together as all of the participants and witnesses remembered the significance of their own baptisms. Neither physical nor spiritual purification was part of baptism for Zwingli.

Calvin’s view of baptism lay somewhere between Luther and Zwingli—he asserted that baptism was a symbol of spiritual purification and a seal of the Old Testament covenant. Calvin did not think that the physical act of baptism cleansed a child of original sin, but it was an important reminder for the church community of God’s love for faithful Christians. All of these reformers distanced themselves from the long-held belief that baptism was absolutely necessary for salvation and tried to emphasize the importance of the baptismal ceremony for all of the participants.

Consequently, baptism became increasingly important as a mark of incorporation into the earthly Christian community. These theoretical and theological differences resulted in concrete changes from Catholic to Protestant practices. During the Middle Ages, baptism had become an opportunity for a grand celebration, sometimes involving as many as a dozen godparents in addition to neighbors and relatives. Godparents would present a child at church for baptism while the mother and father remained at home, the mother still recovering from childbirth and the father preparing for the festivities after the church ceremony.

The baptismal rite and the party that followed provided the chance to establish or reinforce social ties and networks. During the Reformation, baptism came to serve as an even more official marker of a child’s entrance into society; at the same time, church and civic leaders often tried to limit the money and time spent on baptismal celebrations. In Geneva, the Reformed church required that all baptisms take place in a church and be performed by a minister, after the sermon and in front of the congregation. The father was required to be there to participate in the ceremony; the mother was welcome but most often remained at home to recuperate from the birth.

Godparents were permitted, but the number was limited to one godfather and one godmother. The names of both parents were recorded in the baptismal registry, thereby officially recognizing parents and child as a family. If the child had been born out of wedlock, this record was used by church and city to hold the father responsible for the financial support of the mother, at least temporarily, and for the upbringing of the child. In terms of understanding children’s experience of life during the Protestant Reformation, several aspects of infant baptism are important.

The ceremonies of infant baptism designed and promulgated by the mainline reformers were intended to serve as a public welcome of the child into the church body and the wider community. As a result of that ceremony, a child was officially recognized either as a legitimate offspring of his or her parents or as the result of a liaison between two people not married to one another and, thus, not legally entitled to inheritance from his or her father but still deserving of financial support and spiritual nurture. Even though the child was not aware of what was happening at the moment of baptism, he or she would be bound for the rest of his or her life by the family ties officially recognized at the ceremony.

In addition, while the tradition of godparents eventually weakened in many Protestant churches, in the sixteenth century godparents continued to participate in a wide variety of Reformed rites of infant baptism. For the child, this ceremony marked the establishment of a special relationship with his or her godparents that would last long past the moment of the sacrament. Both Lutheran and Calvinist church leaders tried to place restrictions on the choice of godparents, insisting that any godparent must be a faithful member of the church in question, able to recite the Lord’s Prayer, the Apostles’ Creed, and sometimes the main points of the catechism as well.

The concern of reformers was that the godparent who presented a child to be baptized was promising to make sure that the child was raised and educated in the Christian faith. Still, some parents continued to choose godparents based on family and social ties rather than on piety and knowledge of the doctrines of a particular church. For example, in 1551, Vincent Retier chose his brother, a Catholic, to be the godfather at his child’s baptism in Geneva. In reaction, the consistory admonished Retier for his poor choice and sent him to the city council to receive further punishment. They did not, however, nullify his brother’s status as godfather or delete his name from the baptismal registry.

While the actual responsibilities entailed in being a godparent may have varied widely across Europe, the relationship between godparent and godchild could never be unmade once established at the baptismal ceremony. Finally, the ritual of baptism publicly acknowledged the belief of parents, ministers, and congregation that the infant in question was a child of faithful Christians, was loved by God, and was included in the covenant that God had established with God’s followers extending all the way back to Abraham in the Old Testament. This belief would be incorporated into the child’s upbringing and religious education and would provide a foundation for his or her own understanding of his or her religious faith and responsibilities and role in society.”

- Karen E. Spierling, “Baptism and Childhood.” in Reformation Christianity

#reformation christianity #reformation #history #karen e. spierling #children #religion #christian #renaissance

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nctsjiho · 3 years ago

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Shocking Truth Behind NCT JiHo’s Hiatus Revealed + SM Official Statement And Apology

July 24, 2021 By J. Mitchel (K!Today)

After an internal investigation of SM Entertainments financial reports, specifically those regarding NCT, the likely reason of JiHo’s hiatus from April to May of this year, has been revealed. The reason why this information, which I’ll be explaining in a bit, is only deemed “likely”, is because anonymous sources said this is only “part of a bigger problem”. However, what I’ll be diving into in a second is fully factual (unless stated otherwise), backed up by plenty of evidence, and I can conclude that this has been a driving factor of JiHo’s hiatus.

Visas, Working As A Minor And Bing A Foreigner Working In The Idol Industry

For those who aren’t aware, Geovanna Dubois, otherwise known as Lim Jiho, and debuted as JiHo, moved to Korea in late 2014. At that time she was only 13, turning 14 soon in international age, which made her a minor. Because her family stayed back in France, where she lived prior to becoming a trainee, she had to be assigned a guardian.

This guardian was an employee at SM Entertainment who was not particularly close to JiHo; it was stated that:

“(the guardian) was only in charge of legal affairs regarding JiHo and everything else: housing, medical needs, schooling, leisure and so on, was taken care of by other employees and managers - who kept in contact with JiHo’s family - until she was no longer a minor”.

However it was revealed that JiHo’s guardian had not taken care of their part of taking care of JiHo. For a total of 6 months, they did not provide JiHo with the right Visa (this does not include failing to renew her Visa when renewal was due). For a total of 4 months - beknown to managers and other employees - they violated the rules under the Child Labour Laws in Korea. And for her whole career up until April of 2021 they did not provide her with her fair earnings she deserved (more on this later).

Until 2020 all of this went unnoticed by the higher ups in SM Entertainment. An ex employee, who wanted to stay anonymous stated:

“There was always so much secrecy going on in the office. I felt insanely guilty towards JiHo because she wasn’t given fair treatment behind the scenes. Employees would fake reports about the state of JiHo’s legal documents. I thought it would all stop when she debuted, but things continued as they were.

… They withheld money from JiHo’s wage to pay off debt caused by the mistakes the employees made. One day the department got a 10,000,000.00 Korean won (around 8,500 USD) fine for violating Child Labour Laws. Instead of going to the boss, employees would take money from JiHo’s bank account - the guardian had full access to it - or would write it off on JiHo’s trainee debt. Something like this shouldn’t happen in such a big company as SM.”

If you thought this was bad, that was only just the tip of the iceberg.

Unfair Pay

As mentioned before, part of JiHo’s hard earned money would go to paying of debt and fines, but that’s not all.

JiHo is one of NCT’s rappers. But did you know she also participated in writing lyrics and sometimes help in arranging songs? Especially for Japanese releases. For most of her work she did not get credited, but apparently this was because of the percentage of her input being “too low”.

Whether this is a fair reason or not is not something I can comment on. In my small amount of research in this area I have found that not everyone gets paid the same just because they are credited in a song. And even if I find that logical, by that statement I would assume that JiHo should have been credited for every song she participated in.

However, that’s where I found out the reason as to why she might not have been credited for every song she worked on.

Comparing her with other members of NCT who have put in similar amounts of work into writing, producing, arranging music, as well as overall performing, making public appearances, modelling and other schedules, taking in account the money employees took away for debt, JiHo on average would receive only 80,6% of what her colleagues would earn.

Keeping that in mind, I suspect that if they would’ve credited her for every song, it would’ve been more obvious that she didn’t receive the payment she deserved whenever this news would come out. However if that was the reason behind this, they failed, because almost every source who is covering this news has at least mentioned this.

Today’s Reality

Before we go into SM Entertainment’s official statement and apology (yes I was also surprised by this), let’s talk about how these events have affected JiHo.

Of course we don’t know all the small details, and according to the previous anonymous ex employee there have been some problems with an ex manager, but in the big picture JiHo did not get affected by these past events on a day to day basis. Having said that, one thing does break my heart in this whole story. The same ex employee also stated that:

“While all this was going on, one of the managers - or maybe it was the guardian themselves - contacted JiHo’s family. They told them lies so that they would not ask JiHo to go visit them back home. Since her Visa wasn’t always okay, it might have caused problems once she left Korea. They also told her family it might be best for them not to visit JiHo because she was ‘doing fine’ and them visiting would ‘cause a distraction’. I once had JiHo’s mother on the phone, she seems like a sweet lady, who was heartbroken not being able to see her daughter for years, being under the impression that visiting her daughter would be a burden to her and her career.”

I hope that with everything that I’ve shared here, you can understand the severity of these events. Knowing that this is only a small percentage of the whole situation makes me scared to hear what else was going on. But let’s hope that things look better for JiHo’s future.

SM Entertainment’s statement

“This is SM Entertainment.

Earlier today, documents and numbers surfaced that we weren’t eager to show to the public. These documents revealed things that you weren’t meant to see either. For the longest time, we, the higher ups in SM Entertainment, were unaware of what was going on behind the scenes. That’s our mistake, and we want to own up to it now.

We should have been more thorough. We should have been more involved. But as we were tricked into thinking everything was fine, we decided to put faith in our employees and let them operate as they were.

Even though we felt cheated and tricked, we were not the real victims here. Lim Jiho, one of our idols, is the one who got tricked the most.

For the years we’ve known her she has grown incredibly much. She’s one of our most hardworking idols. She’s skilled in everything she does. She’s an inspiring and friendly soul and we, SM Entertainment, are extremely honoured to have her as one of our idols.

We are sorry to JiHo, to her family, her friends and her fans for all the discomfort, uncertainty and pain we have caused them. A simple sorry isn’t enough and that’s why we have decided to take some actions.

For JiHo: As you are aware, JiHo is now also under Esteem. The statement we have issued before still stands. We will work together with Esteem to provide JiHo with all the opportunities she deserves so she is able to grow in an even more talented and loved artist.

We will not only take accountability for the financial injury JiHo suffered, but also will try our best to put her emotional and mental health first. Many of these things we have and will continue to discuss with JiHo privately. She will, if desired, reach out to fans and friends on her own accord to talk about her side of things. So to respect her privacy we won’t go further into detail.

For family and friends: We are incredibly sorry towards JiHo’s personal and private relationships to which we caused damage. From the many foreign artist we have under our label, we know that homesickness and missing friends and family is natural. We did not mean to put even more of a strain on her relationships. Again we want to respect the privacy of everyone who is involved, so we will be reaching out to JiHo’s close family privately to issue a personal apology.

For the fans: We are again incredibly sorry towards all of JiHo’s fans who have been worried about her not only during her hiatus this year, but throughout her whole career. We know you want to see more of JiHo and we, along with Esteem and of course JiHo, will try and give back to you as much as possible by providing you with the content you deserve.

We know that the fans will be the happiest if JiHo is happy, so from now on we will make extra sure that JiHo’s happiness is our top priority.

Our apology doesn’t excuse our past actions and from now on we will try to be more transparent as that is something we heard many fans shared their concerns about. We want to let you know that most of the things we’ve discussed here are things we’ve been working on ever since JiHo’s hiatus started. But since the news is now public we want to assure the people that actions are indeed being taken.

We would also like to let everyone know that there have been actions taken in regards of the employees, managers and direct contacts who were at the base of all of this.

From now on we will be focusing on making things right and moving forward. Thank you for your patience.

Fans are happy to hear that SM is taking actions. Even if some things go unexplained and many fans don’t believe SM is being completely “transparent”, they are content things seem to start going into the right direction.

When more news surface (which I have a feeling it will) I’ll be updating you guys about this. For now I’ll leave you with some of the fans’ reactions to the situation.

What do you think about SM’s apology? And how do you feel about hearing the truth about JiHo’s hiatus? Let us now in the comments bellow or on our Twitter @KNewsToday

#jiho.misc #nct 24th member #nct addition #nct imagines #nct female member #nct extra member #nct additional member #nct female addition #kpop!addition #kpop!oc

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demonslayedher · 3 years ago

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Ramble on the Limitations of Looking for KnY Interpretation based on Japanese Mythology

One thing I notice a lot in the Japanese side of KnY fandom theories is a lot of deep dives into religious and mythological reasons behind Gotouge's creative choices. It is super interesting stuff, and Gotouge borrows enough and does homage to enough that there is a clearly a solid knowledge base there. While I find historical details handy for interpreting the characters, ultimately, I find that the canon of demons and Breaths can be interpreted in a vacuum without relying too heavily on the uncanny coincidences lurking in deep dives. This isn't going to be a well-supported essay, this is going to be a ramble that may include a bunch of interesting nuggets. (And then she went on to ramble for 3249 unedited words...)

First things first: I'm a nerd. I like to say I broke the weeb scale a long time ago, but I'm not exactly a university professor or anything like that. That said, I do read a lot of stuff from experts who have jumped on the KnY trends to talk about how elements in KnY are taken from, say, the sword making traditions of the Okuizumo region that results in black swords or simply making comparisons to famous swords, or local legends of supernatural encounters that resulted in split rocks, or comparing specific oni with and the heroes who slayed them or at least comparing elements of specific characters to other famous oni legends, or that Hinokami Kagura is based on a specific Shinto legend and has 12 forms based on existing Kagura traditions, etc. And I love reading this stuff, because I wouldn't had learned about some of it without my interest in KnY leading me to those articles, or as I read it I cheer because they're making references to things I already (as a nerd) really enjoy and therefore it strokes my inner echo chamber bias, or I nod along and think, "oh, yes, why of course, that makes total sense, Hinokami Kagura must be based on the dance Amenouzume performed to enticed the Sun Goddess Amaterasu out of the cave, how silly to think it could be based on anything else" but I then also take a step back to think, "...but it also doesn't have to be." For as many similarities as there to existing legends, it feels to me that Gotouge made it a point not to make specific reference to any particular mythological or religious elements. As an example, Gotouge considered titles with reference to a Shinto fire god named "Kagutsuchi" but never made actual reference to any fire god (or sun god) by name in the finalized direction canon took. Granted, a lot of fan theorists have read into that, going so far as to say because Nezuko's fire powers she represents Kagutsuchi, Yoriichi represents Amaterasu, etc., but while I find the idea of borrowed elements makes for highly interested interpretation of canon, one-to-one comparisons really don't work for this series. By not invoking a name like Kagutsuchi in the title or otherwise, Gotouge succeeded in not being boxed in by the canon of any particular deity. (Granted, "canon" for mythology can vary significantly by whatever historical writings you're looking at, with standard interpretations going through many big changes throughout the centuries. It can be as loose as it is limiting, depending on what sort of historical/mythological/religious figure you're talking about.) I feel there's more evidence of this avoidance by never invoking Amaterasu as a deity, despite the emphasis on the power of the sun in slaying demons. Even looking back and trying to figure out who Akeno placed so much faith, it was only called a "god of sunlight" as opposed to a "sun god." It's as though KnY works with a generic approach to religion. Even if the use of Buddhist element, the Nenbutsu prayer is called such, and Himejima's repeated phrases are legit Buddhist practice, but there is a huge variety of Buddhist sects and practices and theologies, and throughout history, many of them didn't get along. Going back to Akeno and wondering if she might had been Buddhist, I went so far as to suspect she was influenced by Nichirin sect philosophy based on its emphasis on the "Nichi" (sun) representing Japan and incorporating Shinto gods into its philosophy, and for its likely influence in the Kanto area in Akeno's time period, and for its encouragement for the salvation of women and therefore popularity among women. I felt pretty satisfied that it was all lining up, but also, none of this is necessary for a quality interpretation of canon. If Gotouge wanted to say specifically what informed her religious conviction, then it would had been said. But that's not what was important, was it? What was important, and therefore focused on, was Akeno's feelings toward her son and wishes for his sake.

While KnY's worldbuilding feels richer with all the clear religious influence, the details are not actually important. If anything, I feel like Gotouge dove into the heart of the elements of, say, Shinto mythology, and played those core elements up. It's different, yet still familiar, to take sun-associated elements and used them in a way that serves the story without being boxed into existing traditions. The sun is clearly important, and once you start looking for it, you find subtle recurring references to it. Like, Akeno's name? The "Ake" is one way of writing "red," and there are all sorts of uses of other ways of writing "red" throughout the series, in everything from the sand used for making Nichirin blades to the way that Haganezuka calls Tanjiro an auspicious "red" child with a very rarely used kanji. Our commoner main characters, though, just use regular old ways of saying "red" when referencing Tanjiro's appearance without thinking deeply into it, like there's something special right in front of them but they don't recognize it. Similar to how something as special as Sun Breathing was hidden right in front of them in Hinokami Kagura, with a name so generic and simple that it's entirely unsurprising that the Taisho era Kamado family would interpret it as "fire god." The very lack of limiting real-life details is what allows Gotouge to sprinkle these deep touches around, cover them up with branches and leaves, and then sit back and wait for readers to stroll through and invitingly pleasant looking field and then trip and fall down a rabbit hole. This is also what I think gives Gotouge the freedom and malleability to work with the sun in a way that serves the story, especially in ways that tie it to fire. While I don't think there's strong ties for this is general Japanese culture, the way canon is written implies a close tie between fire and the sun as being a very closely related element, hence the influence on the Kamado family, Tanjiro's appearance, his suitability for Sun Breathing based on a history of tending fire for careful charcoal burning, and Tanjiro and Nezuko capability as demons to overcome the sun. Here is where I go into a bit of a tangent about the purification element. This, again, is not strictly tied to any particular Shinto canon (and Shinto does place heavy emphasis on purification), but instead is an example of Gotouge getting to the underlying heart of a lot of common religious elements. Fire is associated with spiritual purification in everything from Buddhism to Catholicism, it's very easy to apply Nezuko's fire abilities as something which burns away something evil (demon poison) so as to purify something good (human flesh, or even other physical substances). Maybe lesser known, but very deeply entrenched in Japanese culture, is the purification element of charcoal. While it may be known around the world for soaking up undesirable elements and therefore used in everything from fish tank filters to treating food poisoning, in Japan, there's a bit of a spiritual side to it as well. For something so closely tied to the way of life for citizens throughout hundreds of years of history for everything from cooking to heating the home, it's unsurprising that quality charcoal would receive as much emphasis as good water and rice. Japanese charcoal is especially known for not producing undesirable smoke or odor, making it appropriate for use in a lot of settings. Charcoal farmers have often not just been that; they've been caretakers of the forest. Keeping the right trees, at the right sizes (both for use as charcoal and for how you pack it together when making charcoal), and in the right numbers to ensure you have stock for coming years, requires management of the forest. (Other tangent side note: many of the other names in the Kamado family are references to plants. Sumire both has the "sumi" sound of charcoal and is the word for violet, Kie is in reference to hollyhock, Nezuko is in reference to red beans (and the asanoha pattern of her kimono is in reference to hemp leaf, an

auspicious symbol of strong and quick growth), Takeo is in reference to bamboo (ironically bamboo can be a problematic plant for charcoal farmers, because it may spread too fast and take resources from other trees--stop stealing all the takuan pickles, Takeo!), Hanako is in general reference to flowers, Shigeru is in general reference to (plants) flourishing, and maybe by the time they got to Rokuta they gave up and said "he's our sixth child, let's just call him 'Six-Boy', lolz." BUT I DIGRESS.) That means the Kamado family not only had careful management of fire in the actual days of charcoal production, but of a wide variety of natural resources to ensure the trees were healthy. Natural weather phenomena, clean water, pest control, minerals from rocks getting into the soil, hmm, so many elements to pay attention to. Hmm. These sure sound a lot like other Breaths. And Breaths all stem from Sun Breathing. That means there may be certain elements of Sun Breathing that have been emphasized in each of them, but none of them encompass so many qualities of the natural world. The natural world which Yoriichi saw with such clarity than nature accepted him with open arms, practically, in how well animals took to him. Sun Breathing, while especially using that all-important purification aspect of sunlight which burns evil demons, is like an all encompassing embrace of nature. While being closely tied with fire is hugely important, there's more to it than just flames. While Shinto is very much so closely tied with nature (the extent to which this is emphasized may vary from shrine to shrine, scholar to scholar), what I see in KnY is a clever use of emphasis on spirituality in nature as opposed to emphasis on Shinto mythology. And I think that was a smart move. While stories based more directly on various theologies, mythologies, and religious ideologies often use those building blocks often wind up having very creative takes on them (even and especially with the confines of them), ultimately, the story of KnY is whatever Gotouge wants to do with it, and it does not seem guided by the specific conventions of more specific religious elements. But again, those deeper elements are still everywhere. You know what color Japanese charcoal burns? It's a gorgeous jewel tone red, spanning many of those rare shades of red Gotouge make reference to. And, in wider Japanese culture, red is the color of the sun (as opposed to how other cultures may represent it as yellow or orange or white or so on). (Not as exactly a KnY tangent, just personal: Japanese charcoal is so freaking pretty, I had no idea until I saw it used in the tea ceremony at parts when guests crowd around to enjoy the sight of it as the host prepares it for boiling the water. I can stare and stare and stare, it is so so so so so pretty, but also this element of the ceremony has gotten rarer both as many places have made a more practical switch to electricity, and tea ceremony quality has gotten more rare both due to fewer producers and due to beetle-related damages to the trees used, and I will always state HOW DISAPPOINTED I am that Kanata and Sumihiko are not out there raising charcoal, because charcoal is precious and I'm always so terrified of wasting charcoal in my practices because its so precious, but seeing the amazingly beautiful burn of the charcoal is absolutely one of my favorite elements of the ceremony and this of course gives me an extra soft spot for Kamado Tanjiro BUT I DIGRESS AGAIN, I TOLD you this was going to be a ramble, but SERIOUSLY IT IS SUCH A GORGEOUS RED).

So anyway. My point is, as interesting as incorporating outside elements may be, I don't find them necessary in interpreting KnY's canon. Even if it takes tons of Taisho Secrets to do so, Gotouge presents the details necessary, and that's more than enough to work with. After all, despite all the care taken in historical details in building the setting, KnY takes place in a fictional universe, it can make its own rules when it comes to things that don't actually exist in our universe. Demons, for example, follow a chronology and power system with sources and limits that is unique to a this universe, as tempting as it is due to general cultural familiarity, it does not call for a one-to-one comparison with existing demon legends. Breath as well, as a power system, is very interesting. Again, this is because it has a lot of basis in core concepts of real life physical and spiritual training. It's presented as a method available to anyone who can pick it up, not drawing on a mystical outside power or summoning the actual superhuman elements of nature. Other stories that present their power systems like that are well and fine, but when it comes down to it, this is a story about mere humans doing everything in their limited power to wave swords around and defeat creatures that seem so likely to outpower them. This is a common, relatable basis of stories throughout history, and a lot of analysis I've heard of KnY's success says that it shows how classic this story structure is. Many Japanese demon stories have their origin in epidemics, and some people suggest that the world looks for hope in stories like KnY in times of seemingly insurmountable crises like coronavirus. I think that's an oversimplification of KnY's success, but again, because of Gotouge's use of core cultural elements, it can be applied easily. OKAY BUT ON THAT NOTE we can do some really interesting digging if we want. : D Gotouge does make some highly specific references, included religious ones (granted, not in ways that impact the plot). The example coming to mind is the Seventh Form of Thunder Breathing, the "Flaming Thunder God." In Japanese, this is "Honoikazuchi-no-Kami," the name of a lightning deity who had a very, very brief mention in the Kojiki and who appeared among a handful of other lightning deities named in reference to other aspects/phenomena of lightning, like the sound or the rumble through the ground. Honoikazuchi is not so much the lightning itself, but the fires started by lightning. Stick with me a bit longer, I'm building up to something here. You've probably heard of the twelve animals of the Chinese (poorly translated as) Zodiac, right? Well, the system is way more complex than that, and really, if you want complexity, skip Japan and go dive straight into ancient China. I laugh and cry at myself for having a graduate degree in Chinese studies, the extent of my knowledge is is pitifully small, I know nothing, nothing. Suffice to say, China has its own five element system of water/wood/metal/fire/earth, it's more a philosophical application than a more physicality-based four element system popular in the west (fire/water/air/earth, why hello there, Avatar), with attributes of these elements assigned to every about anything through Chinese culture, from medicine to, you guessed it, the Zodiac animals. Japan saw all this and said "cool, we'll do that too" albeit their sort of mixed and matched a bit and made their own take on it in Onmyodo. An Onmyoji, who keeps track of, like, really any other-worldly matter you might have on your hands as a Heian noble, is someone who is paid to know all this stuff (it was very likely an Onmyoji who told the Ubuyashiki clan, "yeah, you got an evil family member to blame for your curse, squash him"). Yours Truly is not an Onmyoji and therefore will not attempt to go into more detail, save the one that a handful of Japanese theorists in the KnY fandom love to bring up: The Boar is a water sign. This means that, especially in Shinto practice, boars are considered an animal that protects against

fire, hence, a lot of practices to protect against fires were done on days of the Boar, in the month of the Boar, etc. So? So-o-o-o-o-o? You see it? You see it??? Boar = Water, Honoikazuchi = Fire, Inosuke and Zenitsu are basically foils to Tanjiro? Yes, yes, see it, yessss??? Deep dive Kamaboko theory, yes?????? Hahahaha. Naw. It's just a fun coincidence. ^_^ Again, I find these details completely unnecessary, for we are already given so many details in canon to work with on its own, and I think Inosuke and Zenitsu as foils to Tanjiro works entirely well simply based on their personalities, not because of any supernatural elements that require a high level of nerdery to have any hope of appreciating. Besides, once you start reaching too hard for cultural details Gotouge might have used and clinging too tightly to those ideas, there's likely something in canon to make it doubtful. For instance, Inosuke more widely presented as a king of the forest who wears deer and bear hide as well, and the fanbook state that Beast Breath is considered a likely offshoot of Wind Breathing. Even if we rely more strictly on historical detail, there's still the question of, say, what one of the basic Breaths, Thunder Breathing, even was when it was but a thunder inspired sword form not necessarily powered by Breath, you know, back when swords were longer and it would have been harder to make the fast draws katana would later be better suited for. Maybe they called it Thunder because it was practiced by swordsmen who stomped around really hard, and then when they added Breath technique, they figured out "oh dude, we can use our strong legs to go fast"??

Those are the kinds of things I find more fun to play around with in interpreting canon by bringing in little outside details, because as a work of fiction, there are already so many fun details to work with already even when treating it in a vacuum. But, giving Gotouge extensive and subtle use of cultural elements, especially core elements, it sure makes a lot of outside details applicable. Which is all to say, it's all super interesting, and I think the more people realize these things, the deeper they read into it, to an extent more than canon calls for. As much as I like it, and as much as I've enjoyed pulling outside elements in to fanfiction (like Kagutsuchi and lightning god tidbits), ultimately, if Gotouge thought these things were necessary, they'd have been included. Since they are not, I try to stick to canon details and Word of God-touge in answering Asks (lolz, I didn't plan on becoming a meta blog, it just kinda happened). BUT ALSO, JEEZ, I AM SO EXCITED IF PEOPLE TAKE A DEEPER INTEREST IN JAPANESE CULTURE BECAUSE THEY LIKE KIMETSU NO YAIBA, YOU CAN HAVE SO-O-O-O-O-O MUCH FUN PLANNING A TRIP TO JAPAN AROUND KNY THEMES, DO IT DO IT DO IT, GO TO YAGYU AND POSE IN A TANJIRO HAORI AND STICK YOUR SWORD IN A SPLIT ROCK, THE LOCALS THERE LOVE IT, DO IT but also like maybe learn about the tea ceremony and appreciate how beautiful the charcoal is with me k thx bye

#kny fandom theories and meta #sooooorta #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer #am I a Pillar or a Demon?#neither #I am but a nerd

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petri808 · 3 years ago

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hiii i am absolutely obsessed with ur drabbles could u please do nalu #4 and #39 pls🥺

“Walk out that door and we’re through” + “Please come home, I miss you”

This was tough cause the questions could trigger a story similar to this one I also did for these prompt asks round. But I think I can make it different enough, albeit angst hell 😅 here we go! It’s a little rushed but longer then I expected for a ficlet lol

“Lucy,” Natsu knocked at the office door, “it’s time to go.”

“Where?” She answered without looking up.

“Levy’s birthday party.”

“Oh!” Lucy sat up in her desk chair and turned her body to face her husband. “Right! I forgot. Um, shucks, but I’m on a writing high right now and I can’t stop— tell her I’ll make it up to her, will ya?”

She always says that… Natsu sighed, “yeah, sure…”

Levy Redfox was Lucy’s childhood best friend and while the woman was also his friend, it just didn’t sit well with Natsu that she’d choose writing over the woman. But this had been an ongoing issue lately... Don’t get him wrong, he fully supported his wife’s career as an author, especially now that it’s really starting to take off. The issue was it had consumed her at the expense of everyone around her.

He knocked on their friends door, answered by Levy herself.

“Natsu!” Levy hugged the man excitedly, but when she noticed he was alone, frowned a tad. “Again, huh?”

“I’m sorry, Levy,” Natsu’s shoulders slumped. “Lucy’s in a,” he made quotation marks in the air, “‘writing high,’ and said she’ll make it up to you.”

“Well, I’m glad you came,” the woman smiled despite the sadness hiding behind her eyes.

All of their closest friends were in attendance and spent the evening talking, eating, and playing a few fun birthday games. It distracted him to some extent, but as the night wore down and the other guests had all left, Natsu, his best friend Gray Fullbuster, Levy, and her husband Gajeel sat around in the living room talking about the elephant in the room. Lucy.

“I’ve tried talking to her,” Levy said quietly, “but, I try not to make it sound too harsh.”

“Maybe that’s exactly what you need to do babe,” Gajeel chimed in. “Be blunt.”

“Yeah, I’m like you,” Natsu agreed with Levy. “It’s not easy to bring it up cause she’s oblivious about it.”

“But it’s hurting your marriage man!” Gray looked at Natsu. “And your friendship,” he switched to Levy. “I’m with Gajeel. If you aren’t honest with her, it’s not gonna get better.”

“Think I don’t know that?!” Natsu spat back. “Think I enjoy being the only one in that house in pain?! I don’t, but—” his voice cracked, “I’m worried I’ll push her away if I say something.”

“She’s already pushing you away dude. Do you still love her?”

“Of course, I do,” Natsu sighed. “I love her more than anything, but apparently it’s not enough… we haven’t even… you know, I can’t remember the last time.”

“Wow… Then you really gotta tell her. All of it,” Gray coaxed.

Levy who’d sat quietly through the back and forth, chimed in quietly. “Gray’s right. You should tell her, when you go home, just tell her how you’re feeling. And whatever happens, happens. We can just hope for the best.”

“You know you’ll be the first to hear from her if I do,” Natsu pointed out.

“I know. But… it’s time I come clean too.”

Natsu slumped back onto the couch and let out a depressed exhale. “And you,” he looked to Gray. “You know if it goes wrong I’ll be showing up at your door.”

“My couch has your name on it.”

“Gee, thanks.”

That had to be the longest drive home Natsu had ever taken, even though it was really just 10 minutes. He was a physical person by nature and never been very good at expressing his feelings in words. Words were his wife’s domain. There were a lot of things he wanted to say, but his biggest fear was saying things wrong. With his hand on the doorknob, Natsu took one last breath and opened the door to her office. He knew before entering, Lucy was still working by the clacks of the keyboard and interrupting would immediately cause friction. But he couldn’t wait anymore.

“I’m home,” Natsu called out… with no response. He sighed and spoke more sternly. “Lucy. I’m home.”

“Oh, welcome home,” she finally responded. “How was the party?”

He knew it was an empty question, because she never even looked up or stopped typing and it meant she wasn’t really listening. “Lucy… we need to talk.”

“I’m kinda busy Natsu.”

“I know, but you’re always busy Lucy. That’s part of the problem.” The moment the last word came out, Natsu knew instantly he’d picked the wrong one. Crap.

Lucy stopped typing, turned off the screen and shut the laptop. “Problem?” She turned the chair around with her eyes narrowed in a focused glare. “What do you mean, problem?”

“Lucy,” he ran a hand down his face, “I don’t want to fight, but we need to talk— there’s a lot we need to talk about.”

“Like what?” She crossed her arms. “What is so important that you need to mess with my job?”

There it was.

“I’m not trying to do that,” he sighed. “You know how proud I am of your career. But, it feels as if you’re choosing your career over everything else in your life. Me, your friends, we’re all just being pushed aside—”

“Are you kidding me?!” Lucy shot out of her chair shaking in anger. “I am not doing any of that! I’m not pushing anyone away! Y-You’re the one who’s acting selfish trying to tell me I’m not giving you enough attention! And don’t you bring Levy into this! If this was bothering her she’d tell me!”

“It does bother her! But she’s afraid of getting,” he gestured with his hands up and down at Lucy, “this reaction! Is it selfish to want to spend some time with my own wife?!” Natsu growled. “We never spend time together anymore! You’re just always hunched over that damn computer!”

“I’m doing my job!” Lucy shrieked. “I have deadlines to meet! This story ain’t gonna write itself! Research ain’t gonna materialize on its own! It’s a lot of work!”

“Lucy,” Natsu pinched his brows together, trying hard to stop from snapping further as well as to control the tears building in his eyes. “I love you, more than anything in this world, but I don’t know what happened to the woman I’d married. The old Lucy wouldn’t abandon her loved ones like this.”

“You’re just mad because I’m successful now.”

“That’s bullshit! And you know it! No job is worth losing the people you care about, and if you can’t understand that, then, I don’t know what else to say!”

“Then I guess there isn’t anything more to say,” she spat back.

“I guess not.” Natsu answered softly, turned and left the room.

He’d already assumed confronting Lucy about her precious career would not end well, and he was right. Staying would only cause more trouble. So, he quietly packed a suitcase to go to Gray’s house, making sure to bring anything he’d need because he had no idea how long he’d stay there. He’d said his peace; it really was all in Lucy’s hands now.

Back in her office, Lucy dropped back down into her chair as the full weight of what just transpired hit her like a ton of bricks. She cradled her face in her hands as the anger that had fueled her response suddenly mixed with sadness. Tears flowed free. Did that really just happen?! She could hear Natsu moving around in the bedroom, the opening of drawers, the closet, the zipping sound of the suitcase, each and every step driving a knife deeper and deeper. How dare he tell her to stop writing! This was her dream! Her livelihood! Why couldn’t he just support her instead of acting like a child who wasn’t getting attention!

When she heard Natsu walking towards the front door area, Lucy raced out of the room to confront him one last time.

“Walk out that door and we’re through!” She screamed. “Do you hear me? We’re through!”

Natsu ignored her words knowing it was the anger talking… hoping it was just the emotions fueling her rage. “I’ll be at Gray’s,” he simply responded with a hint of sadness in his tone. “You should really think long and hard about this Lucy, because if not, you’ll lose a lot more than you realize.” And with that, he closed the front door behind him.

Lucy crumpled to the ground and wailed— raged, banging the floor with her fists as the sobbing overtook her. She truly could not understand what brought this on. Hadn’t she been a good wife?! Faithful! Hard working! What more did he want?! All she was doing was trying to make it in the cut-throat world of publishing. Does he not understand how hard it is to make it in that world?! She pulled her phone from her pocket and started to dial Levy’s phone number. But just as she got to the last two numbers, she stopped. It was already 1 am, and it would be rude to wake her friend up. Lucy sniffled and hung her head in shame before dragging herself back towards the bedroom. She’ll just call in the morning.

When Levy answered the phone, Lucy was slightly taken aback by the response. Not a hello, just a, ‘I wondered when you’d call.’ Evidently the woman was expecting it, but she was too tired to let it add to her problems. She hadn’t slept much after Natsu left— no surprise. She was still angry, but also confused, sad, and just mentally drained of life. Her friend agreed to come over in a bit, so Lucy dragged herself into the shower hoping it would make her feel better.

“Wow, you don’t look good,” Levy remarked at her friend.

“Hi to you too,” Lucy mumbled as she moved to the side to let her friend in. “Who would after a fight?”

Once settled on the couch, Levy went straight to the point before Lucy could even begin. “I already know what this is about. I know Natsu’s side, so start with yours.”

“Wow— okay, well—” Lucy pulled her legs up and tucked them underneath her body in a protective mode. “He tried to tell me to stop writing and I thought that was bullshit,” she said bluntly.

Levy’s brow raised. “Is that exactly what he said? To stop writing?”

“W-Well no, but that what he implied!”

“What did he say exactly?”

Lucy looked away, a scowl growing on her face and to hide the renewed moisture in her eyes. “He said I’m pushing everyone away.”

“And you don’t agree?”

“No! I’m not choosing my career over everyone! It’s ridiculous to even imply that I would!”

“Lu, do you still love your husband?”

“Of course, I love him!”

“Are you sure he knows you still love him?”

“I—” Lucy crossed her arms over her chest and sunk further into the couch mumbling. “I don’t see why he wouldn’t.”

“I can tell you, he doesn’t. Lu, you’ve pushed all of us away.”

“So, you’re taking his side?!”

“No. I’m giving you reality. You’ve been wrapped up in your fictional world so much that you’ve forgotten this one and the real people in it.”

“I—” Lucy turned away to hide the tears slowly starting to trickle down her face. “I never meant to…”

“I know…” Levy placed a hand on her friends leg. “Lu, we all know. He knows, but he’s hurting and it’s in your power to fix this.”

“But how?! I can’t just stop writing. I have deadlines and— you know, its a lot of work to put a story together.”

“You have to find a balance. Right?” Levy coaxed. “You have to take breaks. You have to relax sometimes. Natsu’s not asking you to stop, and he knows there will be times you really can’t stop. But it can’t be all the time, and right now it’s all the time.”

“I know…”

“Girl when was the last time you…” Levy wiggled her brows and grinned. “You know.”

Lucy blushed. “Too long.”

“Well?!” Levy laughed. “Are you finally getting our point?”

“Yeah,” Lucy sighed. “I got tunneled vision.”

Levy leaned in, adding pressured from the hand on Lucy’s leg and a softening in her voice. “And it put your marriage in jeopardy. But it’s not too late to fix it.”

The tears exploded from Lucy. “I told him… when he left, I-I told him don’t come back.” She buried her face in her hands as the sobbing took control. “I-I was screaming at him… so angry, I just lost it and—”

Levy pulled Lucy into a hug. “Shhh,” she held tight. “I’m sure he knew you didn’t mean it. Shh, it’s okay. Sometimes we say things we don’t mean when we’re mad. But you can still get him back, I’m certain of it.”

“H-how?!” Lucy sobbed into Levy’s shoulder. “He’s gotta be so mad at me!”

“Hun, Natsu’s more sad then mad. He needs to feel like you still love him.” Levy pulled away and cupped Lucy’s cheeks, staring, searching the woman’s eyes. “Can you tell him you love him?”

“I can tell him I love him,” Lucy sniffled.

“Then go tell him that!” She hugged her friend. “You’ll be okay Lu, you two are meant to last.”

“Thanks, Levy.”

“He’s at Gray’s right? Want me to drive you?”

“If you don’t mind.”

“Not at all,” Levy smiled. “Now clean up a bit, I’ll wait in the car.”

The whole ride over to Gray’s house was the most nerve wracking experience in Lucy’s life. As she sat there huddled in Levy’s passenger seat, all the ways she could ever apologize tried to funnel through her head. She was a writer, and yet for the first time in a long time, all the words dried up or mashed together like a broken verse. Levy did her best to keep Lucy calm, reminding her that it’s all about being honest— just let your heart do the talking for once and not her head.

“You got this,” Levy patted Lucy’s shoulder before she exited the vehicle.

Lucy sure hoped she did. She took a deep breath and knocked on the door. Seconds ticked by and with each chime, all the weight and worry crept closer to sending her over. He was mad. Too mad. He probably won’t answer…

Finally someone did. “You came?” Natsu’s voice was soft and low, his eyes still bloodshot and worn.

“I came,” Lucy hung her head in shame. “I’m sorry— F-For everything, Natsu please come home, I miss you. I love you more than my job, and I’m gonna make it up to you.”

“You always say that Lucy…”

Ouch. Straight through her heart. The tears broke free again as her knees weakened, causing her to fall against him. Natsu caught her, and she clung to him, gripped to his shirt. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Please come home! I love you! Natsu please come home! I can change! I promise I’ll change!”

That’s when she felt his hold truly tighten around her body and his head come to rest against her own. Lucy sobbed harder from the acceptance, pouring her heart in her words. “I love you… I love you so much, I’m so sorry….”

Natsu cradled her head and closed his eyes, voice soft with an upbeat to its tone. “Now there’s the woman I married.”

He held Lucy tightly until her sobbing slowed, eventually pulling away just enough to wipe the tear trails away. “Shall we go home now?”

Lucy nodded. “Please….”

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