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#but the words are like just falling out of my brain and not thoughting in a straight line beaming onto the page
l4ndonorizz · 1 day
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sleepless nights / lando norris
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pairing: lando norris x reader
song: chase atlantic - falling
summary: unable to sleep, lando calls you in the middle of the night, seeking comfort. What starts as a late-night conversation turns into an emotional confession, as hidden feelings come to light and change everything between you
wc: 1.6k
The soft buzz of your phone on the nightstand broke the silence of your room. You blinked groggily at the screen, trying to focus as the late hour made everything seem hazy. Lando’s name lit up the display, and a small knot of concern formed in your chest.
It was nearly 2 a.m.
Swiping to answer, you held the phone to your ear, voice thick with drowsiness. “Lando? It’s really late. What’s going on?”
There was a pause, the quiet sound of his breathing filling the space between your words. “Yeah, sorry,” he replied, sounding hesitant. “Did I wake you?”
You sat up a little, pushing the sleep from your mind. “It’s okay. I wasn’t really asleep yet. What’s up? You sound… off.”
He let out a deep sigh, the weight in his voice unmistakable. “I can’t sleep.”
Your concern deepened. Lando was usually carefree, the type who always found a way to joke through anything. But this time, he sounded different—worn out. “Again?” you asked softly, knowing he’d struggled with sleepless nights recently.
“Yeah,” he admitted, his voice quiet, almost defeated. “It’s been like this for days. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
You pulled the blanket tighter around your shoulders, settling deeper into your pillows as you listened. “What’s on your mind? You wanna talk about it?”
Lando hesitated, and you could almost picture him running a hand through his messy hair, trying to find the right words. “It’s just… everything, I guess. Racing, the pressure, what’s next… I can’t shut my brain off.”
Your heart ached a little at how tired he sounded, and you wished you could be there to help ease whatever burden he was carrying. “I’m sorry, Lando. That sounds exhausting.”
“It is,” he said, his voice tinged with frustration. “I hate it. I lie there for hours, and my head just keeps spinning.”
You listened as he vented, the words pouring out now that he had someone to talk to. Lando rarely let people in like this—he preferred to keep things light, brushing off the hard stuff with a joke or a smile. But tonight, he was raw and unfiltered, and it made you realize just how much weight he carried on his shoulders.
After a few moments of silence, Lando spoke again, his voice softer, almost hesitant. “Do you think… do you think I could come over?”
You blinked, caught off guard by the question. “Come over? Now?”
“Yeah,” he replied, and you could hear the vulnerability in his voice. “I know it’s late, but I don’t want to be alone right now. I think… I think I just need to be around someone.”
Your heart swelled at his words, and without hesitation, you nodded, even though he couldn’t see you. “Of course, Lando. You can come over.”
“Thanks,” he said softly, the relief in his voice palpable. “I’ll be there soon. Can we stay on the phone while I drive?”
You smiled at the thought of him wanting to keep talking to you, even during the short drive. “Yeah, of course.”
You heard the faint sounds of him moving around, probably grabbing his keys and pulling on a hoodie. The soft rumble of his car’s engine started in the background, and then he was back on the line with you, the quiet hum of the road accompanying his voice.
“What’s been keeping you up the most?” you asked gently, not wanting to push too hard but knowing that sometimes it helped to talk through things.
Lando sighed, the sound tired and heavy. “Honestly? I don’t know. It’s like… I’m trying to be everything at once, you know? The perfect driver, the perfect teammate, even the perfect friend. But no matter what I do, it never feels like enough.”
The vulnerability in his words hit you hard, and you wished you could reach through the phone and just hold him. “Lando… you don’t have to be perfect,” you said softly. “You’re allowed to have bad days, and you’re allowed to feel overwhelmed.”
“I know, but it’s hard,” he murmured. “I keep thinking about the future, what’s next, what I’m supposed to be doing… and I just don’t know.”
Your chest tightened with empathy as you listened to the quiet frustration in his voice. “You don’t have to have all the answers right now, Lando. You’re doing your best, and that’s all anyone can ask of you.”
There was a long pause, the sound of the road faint in the background as he processed your words. “You always know what to say,” he said finally, his voice quieter. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Your heart skipped a beat at the warmth in his tone, and for a moment, you weren’t sure how to respond. “You’d be just fine,” you joked lightly, hoping to ease the tension, but even as you said it, you knew that wasn’t entirely true. He leaned on you in a way that felt different from how he leaned on others, and deep down, you’d always known that.
“You think?” he teased, a hint of his usual playful tone creeping back into his voice. But then, after a brief pause, he added more softly, “I don’t know. I think you’re a bigger part of my life than you realize.”
Your breath caught at the unexpected honesty in his words. There was something about the quiet of the night, the intimacy of the late hour, that made everything feel more open, more real. “I think you’re a bigger part of my life than you realize too,” you confessed quietly.
Lando didn’t respond right away, but you could hear his breathing on the other end, slow and steady, as if he were thinking carefully about what to say next. “I’m almost there,” he said softly, his voice carrying a weight that told you he wasn’t just talking about the drive.
A few minutes later, you heard the faint sound of his car pulling up outside. “I’m here,” he said, his voice gentle as he stepped out of the car.
You climbed out of bed, pulling your blanket around you as you padded to the door. Opening it, you found Lando standing there, his hair tousled from the drive, hands tucked into the pockets of his hoodie. His face was soft, tired but relieved, and something in his eyes made your chest tighten.
“Hi,” you said quietly, stepping aside to let him in.
“Hi,” he replied, offering you a small smile as he stepped inside, kicking off his shoes by the door. You closed it softly behind him, the quiet of your apartment wrapping around you both like a warm blanket.
Lando stood in the middle of your living room, looking around for a moment before turning back to you, his expression soft but serious. “I’m sorry for showing up like this,” he said quietly. “I didn’t mean to bother you.”
“You’re not bothering me,” you reassured him, stepping closer until you were standing just a few feet apart. “I’m glad you came.”
He looked down at his hands, fiddling with the strings of his hoodie, and for a moment, he seemed almost unsure of what to say. “I’ve been thinking about a lot of things lately,” he said softly. “Mostly about you.”
Your breath hitched at the confession, and you took another step closer, your heart pounding in your chest. “About me?”
“Yeah,” he said, his voice quieter now. “I’ve been thinking about how much you mean to me. How you’re always there for me, even when I don’t deserve it. And… how scared I am of losing you.”
The vulnerability in his words made your chest tighten, and you felt the urge to reach out and touch him, to reassure him that you weren’t going anywhere. “You won’t lose me, Lando,” you whispered, taking his hand in yours. “I’m not going anywhere.”
He looked down at your joined hands, his thumb brushing softly over your skin. “I care about you,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “More than just as a friend.”
Your heart skipped a beat at his words, and suddenly, everything felt clear. The late-night phone calls, the way you always felt so safe around him, the way your heart fluttered every time he smiled—it had all been leading to this.
“I care about you too,” you admitted, your voice soft but sure. “More than I’ve let myself realize.”
Lando’s eyes softened, and he stepped closer, his free hand coming up to gently cup your cheek. “I didn’t want to mess this up,” he whispered, his thumb brushing over your skin. “But I can’t keep pretending I don’t feel this way.”
You smiled, your heart swelling at the tenderness in his voice. “You’re not messing anything up,” you whispered back.
For a moment, you just stood there, the world falling away as Lando’s gaze locked with yours. Then, slowly, he leaned in, his lips brushing softly against yours in a kiss that felt like a promise—gentle, warm, and filled with everything that had been left unsaid.
When you finally pulled back, Lando rested his forehead against yours, his breath warm against your skin. “I think I can finally sleep now,” he murmured with a small laugh.
You smiled, your heart feeling lighter than it had in weeks. “I think I can too.”
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cherubunie · 2 days
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the lamb and the wolf ~ dom! vampire! jake x sub! reader ౨ৎ .⋆。⊹ ♡
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Sim Jaehyun, the popular yet somehow nerdy 21 year old at your shared university. All the girls swooned over him, claiming that he's the most perfect human being to have ever walked this earth. You, on the contrary, felt something off about him, had your suspicions about the blonde haired boy that started to rule your every thought, and he could sense such. of course he did! He was the one crawling into your brain and picking apart your skull in order to rearrange the puzzle pieces to fit perfectly isync with his. He was absolutely crazy about how you didn't pay him any lustful eye or tried too hard to come onto him, that was until he started yearning for you, every part of you in so many more ways than one. You were just as mysterious to him as he was to you, and it drove both of you mad. And he just had to do something about it before his precious little muse genuinely did go insane.
Word count: 14,000
Vampire! Dom! Jake x Sub! Reader. Bondage, blood kink, overstimulation, biting, scratching, slight cnc (reader likes it dw), slight manhandling, praise, degradation, fingering, slight hunter/prey dynamic, slight breath play, slight corruption
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This is more of a short story than a one shot and the reader has similar characteristics to me so it's a little bit of an oc. sorry. it's kind of a slow burn but oh well. Reposts and comments are appreciated thank you! ♡ - phoebe
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"Sim Jaehyun and f/n l/n" the professor calls out. you look over your shoulder the same time Jake looks down towards you from the top of the room, your eyes fixated on each others for just a split second before you break eye contact just as fast as it appeared, turning towards your best friend who sits directly next to you. The psychology professor was arranging groups of people for an upcoming project. you look at your best friend, your lips sucked between your teeth as she giggles.
"don't laugh please." you say to in a groan. she shakes her head, her giggling dying down as she speaks
"he's really not that bad, I hear he's actually decently nice and charming. all that talk about being a fuck boy are all rumors from what I hear" you cock an eyebrow up at her words, a look of 'oh really' written across your face
"and how would you know that" you say when you go to grab your book bag and sling it over your shoulder, not yet standing up to move
"one of my friends is a friend of his, so I've hung out with him from time to time and he doesn't at all act like what people talk about. I might just be talking out of my ass but you know" she shrugs her shoulders before continuing
"I guess it's just his looks that everybody fawns over. You can't even deny how attractive he is" she speaks and grabs her bag, standing up to move to her group, leaving you to follow her actions and face the blonde haired man. you look at him and you really can't deny it, he is unbelievably attractive. his face chiseled perfectly, his hair framing his face in a way that extenuates his features. he looks at you, a smile appearing on his lips this time, inviting you over.
You return his smile out of fondness. You're not really the type to fall for looks, you want something genuine. Real feelings and love, so you've never had the opportunity to actually fall in love because a lot of people in this generation tend to follow down the path of hook-up culture that really wasn't designed for your heart.
I guess you could say you want an old type love, one where men weren't ashamed to talk about their feelings for a woman.
You walk over to your group of four people, the empty seat with your name written all over it sat directly next to the blonde. you take your seat and get out your MacBook, opening up your notes before resting your elbows on the table below you, your chin in your palms as you look over your group, your eyes finding jakes figure once more as his do you.
"I'm y/n, by the way" you say to your group and begin talking about the subject of your shared presentation due in three months. its a really big project that consists of the need for various statistics involving a psychological study. When you begin suggesting topics, jakes eyes pour into your movements when you speak, finding it quite cute how much you enjoy talking about your major. he inturrupts you, his voice cherry sweet as his tone cuts into you, your eyes finding his
"you know an awful lot about psychological studies and tests ran in the past, how do you know so much?" he asks genuinely. you smile at him because he seems to take actual interest in your knowledge, you begin to ramble, talking his ear off about how much you enjoy learning how the human mind works and why it works the way it does. the other group members listen to you as well, but not as intentely as Jake does.
"psychology is my major, ever since I was little I was fascinated about the way people operate and the explanation as to why they do the things they do, I guess its kind of like an extreme interest of mine that I decided to make into my life goal to study" you end your ramble, a small tint of red coating your cheeks once you realize you've been talking for over fifteen minutes. Jake's smile never falters at your voice
"you just answered my second question. you're quite an interesting one, y/n" the way he worded his sentence sticks with you, he's talking as if he was born at a different time because you have never, ever heard anyone talk the way he does. you shake your head and the rest of the period goes by in a flash, your group figuring out what to make your presentation on, finishing up on it being the root of different phobias and how they affect different people. its quite simple, but there is a lot of different types that you would like to go over.
"hey guys, I think we should exchange numbers so we can all get together outside of class to do this project" one of your group members says, you nodding your head and getting your phone out of your bag. Jake takes your phone before anybody else could, handing you his in return.
"here, its easier like this than having everybody read out their numbers" Jake says to you, typing his number into your phone. you nod your head in agreement and add your contact information into his device before the two of you switch. you take note of what he named his contact as while he exchanges his phone with someone else.
everyones phone gets passed around and you notice that he named himself "Jake" in your phone while "sim jaehyun" was his name in everybody elses. you take note with a small smile before you wipe it off of your face.
"I'll see you later" he says to the group, but only looking at you as he speaks, exiting the room shortly after, leaving you to tilt your head in agreement. The rest of your group pools out of the room as do you not long after.
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A buzz on your phone causes you to stop doing what you're doing, setting down your lipgloss on your vanity before picking it up to check the message.
It's from Jake, and he's asking if you would like to come study with him at a nearby cafe.
You nearly fall out of your chair when you realize you weren't hallucinating, quickly messaging him back a "sure", trying not to get too excited when you get dressed after deciding on a cafe and heading out the door. its not a long walk from your apartment, giving your legs a good stretch after spending hours in your bed studying other subjects for classes your enrolled in. you enter the cafe, your eyes automatically finding Jakes lean figure. he lifts his head up from his computer, sensing your presence enter the building as he waves you over. he stands up so you could scoot into the booth next to him, deciding it was better to see each others screens than have to turn them around every five seconds.
his toothy grin makes you smile as he looks at you, recropricating his fondness. the two of you get to talking about the beginning of your lecture project, and the more that he talks, the more you begin to realize how much he knows about experiments conducted in the past, his knowledge crystal clear and unbelievably accurate. you look at him in wonder, not understanding how he knows so much about things that have happened so long ago.
"how do you know all this stuff?" you ask him, cutting his sentence short as you look up at him. his glasses frame his face so well, and you can see why every girl wont shut up about him. he really is breathtaking.
he brings his bottom lip inbetween his teeth to stop himself from laughing at your question, the most heartwarming smile on his face. he pushes his glasses up to the bridge of his nose and you take note of his eye color; dark brown.
"psychology is my major too, y/n. I also love learning about how the human brain works" the way he says 'human' makes your stomach churn, but you pay it no mind.
"you're really smart for someone who's only 21" you laugh at him. just as he's about to say something, a waiter with your drink comes over and goes to hand it to you. Without thinking, you lean over Jake, one of your breasts presses up against his arm gently and your hair gets in his face; he doesn't move. he doesn't want to move. you smell good.
so fucking good as you get closer to him. everything moves in slow motion in jakes mind as you're oblivious to the thoughts coursing through his skull. his eyes start to become heavy as time begins to catch up to speed. you thank the waiter and lean back on your seat, your body peeling away from his. a distasteful look clouds his face as he wants to grab you and pull you to press up against him again, but he controls himself.
you take a sip of your drink with a hum before looking at the man next to you, freezing at the look on his pale face.
"Jake, are you okay?" your voice rings through out his head and suddenly he's snapped out of his thoughts as he turns to you, his eyes still heavy.
"yes, yeah im okay" he says, trying to push a reassuring smile out to comfort you. you dont look away, concern laced in your tone
"are you sure? you dont look so good" you say, leaning closer to him. your hand raises before you can event think. the back of your hand comes in contact with his forehead and much to your surprise, he doesn't have a fever, its actually quite the opposite.
he's cold. almost freezing. you gasp and furrow your eyebrows. Jake takes note and quickly grabs your wrist in your hand, gently so he doesn't hurt you, and brings it down.
"I'm okay y/n, really" his smile is genuine this time. he's never had someone worry about him so easily before and he's never had someone talk to him about their interests, let alone his. ever.
your lips part as a small, shallow breath leaves your throat, your cheeks warming up. you take notice in the fact that his hand the same tempature as his forehead. you stare at each other before you feel jakes thumb gently caressing the skin on your wrist, breaking you out of your trance. you lift your wrist away from his hold, but not before your fingers lace around his in a small squeeze, deciding to do something slightly risky.
you pick up the glass and take another sip. you almost choke when you hear Jake laughing from above you, loud and clear. you set the glass down and look up at him, your lips in a full pout as you cross your arms.
"dont tell me you're one of those matcha haters." you tighten your lips and glare at his laughing. he shakes his head and begins to calm before speaking to you through giggles
"matcha tastes like grass y/n, how could you like that stuff" you huff at his sentence, kicking his foot under the table before turning away from him, his eyes being met with your back.
"oh y/n, dont ignore me, im only expressing my opinion. you can't be mad at meee" his hands move before he can process what he's doing, his fingers find your waist and tickle you.
your body spins around as a loud shriek forces its way out of your throat, a loud laugh following in pursuit. you shake in his hold, your palms desperately trying to smack his hands away as laughter fills the whole building.
"okay okay im not mad let me go" he stops tickling you, but his hands dont leave your waist, and you don't even realize it. he can feel your warmth under his fingertips and the blood coursing through your veins, your body and soul very much prominent and alive. it fills Jake with so many emotions.
"what do you like to drink then, mr. picky" he almost answers your question honestly, but he bites his tongue.
"something much sweeter than matcha" his tone darkens playfully and it makes you slightly lightheaded. You can now feel his hands on you, his fingers tightening around your figure, but you don't say anything about it, and you can't understand why.
Jake comes to his senses when you squirm under his hands ever so slightly. your body's pulse as well as your flowing blood being felt under his hands becomes quickly overstimulating, making him clench his jaw. he lets you go before muttering a quick
"I'll text you later" before speed walking out of the cafe, leaving you lightheaded and almost breathless. you walk home in confusion after spending the last few hours of your day with Jake studying and talking. you hear a distant scream a few blocks away, but that's normal in a city like this, so you push it to the back of your head once you enter your apartment for the night.
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"y/n..." a dark voice sings you name. you turn around in what appears to be an empty, dark space with no walls and the ground around you is filled with shallow water that leaves your bare feel cold.
"y/n" the voice echos, louder this time. your heart begins to pound in your chest, but you can't get your feet to move for the life of you. your breathing is heavy and it feels like you're about to be snatched up. you look around, no light, sound, or anything can be seen or heard in the weird universe you find yourself in.
That's until you turn your body around, finally getting your feet to move
That's when you see it: a figure with a blurred face stands a ways away from you, but you can almost see it clearly, carrying something
no, somebody.
Your freaked out breathing increases, but you stand your ground. you squint your eyes, making out the small drops of a red liquid stained the clothes its wearing, you can tell now its a man carrying a woman in a short white nightgown stained in the same red liquid that matches the color of his clothes, similar to your own night gown you sleep in every night. the mans face is blurry, but you can still see the red that stains his chin and neck, your eyes working their way down his figure to see his fingertips painted in the same, dark color. you can feel the grin on his face from where your standing. The woman doesn't move or make a sound. she's completely limp in his arms.
within the blink of an eye, he's standing in front of you, his face still blurry as the woman disappears from his hold
"be careful with who you trust" he whispers. the way he moved was so quick, it scared you into falling into the water below you, and suddenly you jump up out of your bed with a gasp. your hand clenches your chest as your heave for air. you shake your head and turn on the light on your bedside table.
You look around, scared out of your mind before getting the courage to get up and walk to the kitchen, getting a glass of water and chugging the entire thing before putting it down on the counter, leaning down to stretch your back.
"it was only a nightmare" you say to yourself, standing up straight and running your fingers through your hair. You walk into the living room to check the time. 5:30 am and your psychology class starts at 8:00 am. You decide to take a shower and make yourself breakfast instead of going back to sleep, you're too awake to do so anyways, the dream forcing you into being fully alert.
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Walking into class, now tired out of your mind from getting up so early, you set your bag down and sit next to Jake. you lean over the desk with your head in your hands, face buried in your arms as you let out a groan.
"are you okay" Jake puts a comforting hand on your back that eases you. you turn your head to look at him, your eyes tired while you nod your head. Jake doesn't believe you and cocks his head to the side, a questioning look sweeps over his face as he looks at you.
"I woke up early and couldn't go back to sleep, I'm so tired." you say, not looking away from him, the cutest pout on your lips. Jake wants nothing more than to kiss you right then and there, but he holds himself.
"I know how that feels" he says, his face softening. class begins and you end up falling asleep for the entire two hours, Jake taking down notes for you. he watches your peaceful figure, your shoulders moving up and down gently as your breathing is calm.
You feel a hand rubbing up and down your back and the softest, sweetest voice lure you out of your sleepy state. you blink your eyes open as you realize Jake is the one coaxing you out of your little nap.
"hi sleepy girl" the nickname makes your heart swell in your ribcage as you look up at him with a smile
"how long was I asleep for?" you ask him, not moving. he chuckles before answering your question.
"the whole class" you sit up quicker than the speed of sound, looking around to notice the class packing up, the clock striking 10 am. you shake your head in disappointment
"you let me sleep through the lecture??" you ask him in a sassy tone without meaning to, but he doesn't take it to heart
"you needed the sleep, I didn't want to wake you. you looked so peaceful" he says, his hand on your back leaving. you look at your open MacBook, then back at him
"I took the notes for you, if that helps" he gestures at the screen and you look at the organized notes before your expression softens
"im sorry for having an attitude, I'm just kind of anal about taking notes, but you did them perfectly" you stand up and close your laptop, putting it in your bag before slinging it over your shoulder.
"y/n, do you wanna hang out? we can study too if you want"
I just want to spend time with you.
you're glad he asked before you could, because you're not too sure you would have due to the fact that you were just too shy. you nod your head and walk out of the classroom side by side.
"where do you want to go?" you ask him as you begin to walk off campus. He shrugs his shoulders as he thinks, not really knowing where to go. you also think for a moment before the two of you begin talking in unison
"do you wanna go get food and then go to a park?" you ask him as he cuts his sentence short to listen to you. he nods his head
"that's perfect" he says as the two of you make your way to a cafe not far from campus. the bell dings, signaling to the workers that the two of you entered the building. Both of you stand in the short line to order, but you suddenly have the urge to pee.
"Jake, can you hold my things, I have to use the bathroom" you say. without needing any words, he grabs your tote off your shoulder and slings it around his. he smiles at you as you grip his arm gently without realizing it, walking off after. your touch lingers on his arm, even as he's ordering he can still feel your warmth.
you walk out of the bathroom after washing your hands to be met with Jake talking to another girl. She's beautiful; long blonde hair and a button nose, she's skinny and her clothes bring out her curves. she's holding onto Jakes arm, and before you could feel any sort of jealousy, he shifts under her hold uncomfortably, peeling out of her grasp with the fakest smile you've ever seen. you pause in your tracks, picking up on the conversation.
"You're so handsome, it's incredible" she says, tilting her head and batting her eyelashes at him. he chuckles and shakes his head. How could she not see the obviously pink tote bag littered with keychains and plushies on it? He clenches his jaw and musters out a "thank you"
"do you want to, I dont know, hang out? we could go back to my place?" she asks, eyeing him up and down. he shakes his head instantly, denying her invitation
"no thanks, im good. I'm actually here with someone" he cocks his head in your direction and she spins around, glaring at you. surprise takes over your body as you question how the fuck he knew you were standing there in the hidden corner without him even glancing at you. Your jaw slacks open in a quiet gasp as his eyes shift over to yours, not even needing to move his body or head to look at you. his stare makes you feel things you shouldn't. his eyes are telling you to come to him, so you obey, the both of them staring at you
You go to stand next to him shyly and Jake can't help but admire how obedient you are. he's not meaning to have such perverted thoughts about you at a time like this, but he can't help himself you're just too fucking adorable.
good girl
he thinks to himself. the girl huffs and walks away without a single word. you turn to face him
"good riddance, these girls have no shame" he says, smiling down at you
"you don't like it when girls approach you?"
"correction, I don't like it when they throw themselves at me" he says and before the conversation can continue, he holds up an iced matcha for you. you smile and look at it, then at him again.
"you bought it for me?" you ask and cup the cold drink in your hands.
"don't even think of paying me back" he says, still holding your tote as his now empty hand finds its way to gently grasp the small of your back, ushering the two of you out of the building and towards a non-busy park. You walk side by side through the cool, crisp autumn breeze. the golden, red, and brown leaves falling and crunching under your feet and the smell of the earth is calming. you take a sip of your drink and hum. Jake looks at you, admiring the way you enjoy the small things around you.
the both of you silently approach the grassy park and sit down next to each other. you set your drink down as he mimics your actions with your bag, putting it down next to him.
you lay down, your hair sprawled out on the ground but you don't care, you have to shower today anyways.
"its so nice outside, Its finally sweater weather, I can use my hoodies now" you say out in the open, not directly to Jake but at the world
"are you cold?" he asks you, moving to take his hoodie off before you can reply.
"a little, but its nice" before you open your eyes, you feel Jakes arms around your shoulders, ushering you to sit up as he helps you put his hoodie on. you take his hoodie as a kind gesture and put it on. its comforting, but not quite warm. you would think that his body heat would make the jacket at least a little warm, but its not.
it smells like him and your body begins to relax into the material of the jacket, feeling comforted.
"thank you, but aren't you gonna be cold?" you ask
"I don't get cold" you look at him, confusion written all over your face, but you take his words as a joke.
"ha ha, I guess you're just built different" you fake a sarcastic laugh at him and lay down again, Jake following after, laying next to you.
"do you have a girlfriend" you don't mean to be so direct, but his earlier actions confuse you, making you wonder if he just isn't looking for anything, or he already has a girlfriend. he turns to look at you, a serious look on his face as he speaks
"no. I've never fallen in love before and I don't plan to." he says as you turn to face him now, a little sad, but you listen to him with undivided attention.
"why?"
"everybody wants to just use me for my body. I don't understand it. not to toot my own horn but I do know that I am attractive, but im so much more than a handsome face. I want somebody to love me for me." he says and you become breathless, feeling the exact same way. you nod before you speak, looking deeply into his now hazel eyes
"I feel the same way. ive never met anybody who thinks the same way as I do apart from my best friend. I want to love someone and I want someone to love me, I don't want just sex I want-
-passion" Jake says the same word as you do. your face turns a deep shade of red. no other words needing to be said. his eyes lure you in dangerously close and suddenly you're daydreaming of kissing him.
kissing him with so much force and emotion it makes heat rise to your core, spreading throughout your body like fireworks.
"they're wrong about you" you blurt out as you keep daydreaming.
"I know" he says sadly. you can feel his emotions, as he feels yours.
"you're so kind, I dont understand how everybody can say such things" you chew the skin on the bottom of your lip after the words leave your mouth, worried you've said too much.
"you're too sweet to me" he's being serious. he's done unspeakably bad things, and he's dangerous. He's been telling himself to stay away from you out of fear he might hurt you as well because you're different than all the rest, but that fact alone drives him in more. you're like his muse. you're all he's been thinking about as of late, but no matter how hard he's been trying, he just can't stay away from you. he thinks of how badly he wants to crawl over you and devour you, show you how badly you've begun to take over every thought in his mind and the reasoning as to every action he's started making.
you've begun to drive him mad, and he's never wanted to take, taste, keep something to himself so badly.
his eyes shift color ever so slightly and you can almost swear they darken, his eyes getting heavy. however, you're not the least bit scared. you're intrigued.
you want to know what makes him tick. you want to know what he's thinking and why. his eyes flood into you, making you feel like your drowning in his stare. a coil starts to form in your lower abdomen, and you wonder how in the hell that's happened when he hasn't even hinted towards touching you.
"Jake" his name rolls off your tongue in a breathless whisper, almost like a hushed moan and its music to his ears. he hums in response, urging you to continue.
"do you think you could eventually fall in love?" you ask him, wishing he would give you the answer you would like to hear.
"I will, I can feel it." he says answering your question. he doesn't want to, but he feels himself falling for you ever so slowly, a ticking time bomb he wish he could defuse. he doesn't want you to be a part of his life because that would put you in danger, making you one of the most beautiful walking targets, and he would hurt anybody who even thought of laying a finger on you because of him.
but he doesn't want to let you go. the internal battle he's having with himself only grows with every passing second he's with you, and he's falling into insanity. with his slow decent into madness, yours follows not far after.
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this universe is a deep shade of red, and its dark. the cool water floods around your feet, making them cramp with how cold the temperature is. you've finally worked up the courage to walk around, wondering why you always find yourself in this familiar place every single night.
the only sound that echoes in the never ending universe is water rustling around, and your shallow breathing. it feels as though you've been walking for hours, if not days trying to find the answer as to why you've been brought here so frequently.
a scream makes you jump, whipping your head around as your heart feels like its going to leap into your throat and out of your mouth. your nails dig into your palms, attempting to ground yourself. you can see the familiar figure, holding the same woman in the white night gown, still stained in red.
you dare walk closer, tired of being played with like a game in your own dream world. you clench your jaw and swallow, hard. you begin to walk over with confidence, but all of your thoughts are drained from your body once you realize what's happening.
He's holding her in his arms bridal style, his knees digging into the wet floor as his face is in her neck. she's facing away from you, so you can't see who it is, but you can hear the moans of... agony, pleasure? you can't tell as they roll off her tongue and into your ears.
the water begins to turn red underneath the two of them, and all you want to do is wake up
wake up
wake up
please
but your frozen as you attempt to piece together what's unfolding before you. your jaw slacks open when one of his free hands slides under the slip of her dress, touching her in ways that make you feel tingly, now realizing her moans are ones of pleasure.
you gasp when he lifts his head up, his hair covering his eyes as he chuckles darkly. his face isn't blurred anymore, and you can almost just make out his face-
your hands fly to your mouth, trying to stop yourself from gasping even louder as he looks up at you, his mouth stained a with deep crimson red liquid that drips down his chin and onto his suit. a smirk litters his face as you can see the undeniably prominent fangs that stand out like a rose in a field of weeds.
"Jake.."
you shoot up out of bed, trying to understand what's happening. a loud bang makes you just about jump out of your skin and your window flies open, your curtains dancing in the night wind. you get up quickly and slam it shut before running back into bed and under the covers. your hands rake through your hair, pulling on it out of stress.
you just had a dream about Jake and he was.. inhuman. its not possible, it can't be. your hands move down to cover your face as you whine, realizing he wasn't just inhuman, but he was fingering someone, touching them in all the ways you wished he would touch you, and suddenly you start to think the most disgusting, vile thoughts of the man you've befriended less than two months ago.
thoughts ranging from kissing each other deeply, his hands all over you, touching your every nook and cranny you possess as he sucks deep, purple marks into your skin, his hands traveling down to the hem of your panties as he slips them to the side, sliding his fingers in and out of you ever so gently as if you were the most fragile little doll ever made
to him fucking you deep into the mattress, biting and grabbing you everywhere he could reach, his cock breeding you and engraving his shape into your body for all of eternity, marking you his as he carves his name into his creation, his little doll.
you feel disgusting as your fingers slip inside your underwear, dragging against your clit as you make yourself wetter at the though of Jake using you in every way possible. you slip down into the mattress as you begin fingering yourself, wishing he would come and replace your dainty little fingers with his long ones, stretching you and abusing your hole as if it were his own, and honestly, you wish he would come claim you.
"y-yun,,," you moan quietly, but much to your obliviousness, he hears your call, watching you from the darkest corner of your room, watching you unravel yourself just for him,, all because of him.
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"okay only two weeks until the project is due and we have to present, we just need to do revisions" one of your group partners says to the group. your head is in your hands, shielding yourself from the sun coming in through the windows. Jake puts a comforting hand on your back, luring you out of your almost-sleepy daze.
"are you okay?" he asks gently, his tone sincere. you turn your head to look at him, nodding with a small smile on your face. he looks at you as if he doesn't believe you, but doesn't push the issue.
"Ive done all my revisions, so im pretty much all done unless any of you need my help with anything" he says. you shift under his hand still rubbing your back.
"I'm all done too, ive been staying up late at night to get this done because I have other classes I need to focus on" you lie through your teeth. The real reason you haven't been getting sleep is because you have the same exact dream every single night, and it wakes you up at exactly four in the morning on the dot. its been almost three months now and you're starting to feel restless, and now with the new information that the man in your dreams is indeed Jake, you don't know how to feel. One thing you do know for certain is that you've begun to grow feelings for the blonde haired boy. The way he looks at you is alluring, and it the fact that the two of you have been hanging out almost every other day isn't helping your case. Whether it be studying for an exam, or watching a movie at home, you always find yourself with Jake as of recently. His presence is comforting, and you're beginning to become attached.
You feel gross for thinking it, but you've also been feeling a sort of urge with him. Thinking about how well he would fit inside you and how good it would feel. What kind of sounds would he make when he's fucking you. Would he moan, or keep quiet? Little to your knowledge, he's been thinking the same thing about you.
Would you writhe underneath him, or take his cock like the good girl he's come to be obsessed with. Would you whimper or scream? He wants all of you, especially the part he's most scared of taking.
You just smell so good.
He can't help but want to taste you. not only is your pussy making him want to do unspeakable things, but so is your blood. pure, innocent, and so full of life. your heart is also calling out his name without you realizing it, and so is his.
Even though his isn't beating or pumping blood throughout is body, he wishes it would beat just for you, all because of you. He still feels that red hot firework throughout his stomach and mind whenever he's around you, and all he wants to do is hold you and tell you how badly he craves you, needs you, wants you.
Your mind, body, and soul he wants to take for himself.
"lets go back to your place so you can nap, okay?" he says into your ear and you nod quicker than you can even think. He packs up his back as well as yours and carries them out of the building the four of you decided to study in for the day and head over to your apartment.
"y/nnnn" Jake says, throwing his head back as you look up at him through your eyelashes, you don't say anything, but pout instead.
"y/n please" you shake your head no, the pout not faltering.
"if I watch this with you, can you at LEAST let me teach you how to play Fortnite. All my friends are ass at playing" you groan, throwing your head back now.
"please please please please please-"
"FINE oh my god I just wanted to watch twilight for fucks sake you can teach me" you throw a pillow at him from your position on the floor before turning around to plug the dvd into the dvd player. you hear Jake snicker from behind you. you whip your head around with a glare, your lips sucked between your teeth.
"why on earth are you using a dvd player" he laughs.
"i'm going to strangle you." you say seriously, but Jake takes it as a challenge.
"oh yeah?" he spreads his legs apart slightly, manspreading on the couch as his arms are folded behind is head, and the way he's looking at you makes you feel hot and heavy, quickly.
"I'd like to see you try" your cheeks heat up, but you decide to stand up and charge at him anyways with a laugh. you jump onto his lap and your hands find their way to his neck, attempting to choke him out, but he grabs both your wrists in his one arm and flips your back onto the couch below you, hovering over your body.
suddenly, this game isn't funny anymore, as your thighs clamp down together as his face is only a couple mere inches away from yours. your lips part as you let out a shaky breath. you clasp your thighs together and Jake can smell the arousal pooling in your panties.
"Jake" there you go again, saying his name in the most beautiful, breathless and airy way possible. he drops his head down and shakes it, trying so hard to control himself.
"fuck,,, y/n.." he says quietly and you hum. he's eyeballing your neck, his own arousal and lust just about clouding his mind before a harsh knock scares you, making you jump in his hold. your arousal is stripped away from you as you turn towards the door.
"pizzas here" is all Jake says before letting you out of his grasp and heading towards the door, pulling out his wallet and saying for your pizza. you lay there while he's paying, trying to figure out what the hell that was. you felt so extremely turned on and Jake looked at you like he wanted to either kill you, or fuck you until you were completely braindead. You sit up as he puts the pizza on the living room table and the movie starts playing when you hit play on the remote.
The two of you watch in comfortable silence as you munch on your second slice of pizza.
"That's not how vampires actually are" he blurts out randomly. you turn to him and tilt your head in confusion
"what?" you ask him, swallowing your bite and putting the crust back into the box.
"not all vampires have powers, only the strongest of the strong have powers. its actually rare for a vampire to actually get their own individual powers, they're just fast and strong" he says in a matter of fact tone and it makes you wonder. It's odd how much knowledge he has about this sort of thing and he's talked about it before in front of you whenever you talk about mythical creatures.
"how do you know that" you look at him, turning your body to look at him fully as the movie becomes background noise.
"the internet is free, silly girl" he covers up his knowledge and shifts his gaze towards you, the movie pushed to the back of both your minds.
"that could be true, but we dont know for certain because its not real" you say trying to comfort yourself. Jake rolls his eyes with a small "sure" before smirking at you, leaning in towards your frame.
"what..." you say, leaning in the opposite direction. his hands come to either side of your legs, trapping you. one of his hands places itself on your waist and in less than a fraction of a second, he's ticking the life out of you as you scream for mercy.
"Jake pleaseeee let me go- pl- Jake please" you scream at him while laughing, writing under his fingers.
"nuhuh, you asked for this" he laughs with you and your hands fling up and around his neck, shaking your head from side to side. he stops ticking you and looks down, a smile still on his face. he collapses to the side of you after a moment of staring, and pulls you into his body by your waist, your head on his chest. your body relaxes into his hold and you nuzzle your face into him. this is the closest the two of you have gotten, and now he's finally holding you in one of the ways he's craved for what feels like eternity, and you could basically say that.
He's waited for someone like you to come around for hundreds of years, never being able to fall in love in the centuries of being on this earth, and he can't repress his feelings anymore as you fall asleep in his hold. Your steady breathing and the beating of your heart bring him comfort that nobody, and nothing else ever could. he kisses your forehead gently before groaning to himself.
He is so fucked.
he thinks to himself as he closes his eyes as he breathes in your scent, his arms around you tightening as if that would help protect you from all the evil in this world, including him.
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"Guys we got an A...." one of your group members says with a huge smile. you squeal and jump, giving your group mates a high five before Jake is pulling you into him from behind, giving you a huge hug.
"I knew we could do it, we're all way too smart for this class anyways" Jake says to everyone
"it helps that we had the smartest girl in school on our team too" he whispers in your ear as a deep shade of blush coats your cheeks. you turn around and slap his chest with an eye roll.
"be quiet" you shake your head and wave off your other, now past group members as they walk out of the class for the end of the semester.
"lets celebrate, wanna go get something to drink and go to the beach?" Jake asks and you look at him like he's crazy.
"Jake it's almost winter, what on earth are we gonna do at the beach?" you ask him, not quite rejecting his idea. he grabs your tote bag and slings it over his shoulder.
"I just want to look at the ocean and walk around, you don't have to come if-"
"No I want to, lets go" you grab his wrist interrupting him, dragging him out of the classroom and towards the campus cafe. The wind is chilly a sit blows your white maxi skirt, the hoodie Jake let you borrow a couple months ago keeping you warm. you turn to look at the blonde behind you before looking at him in surprise
"how are you not cold" you motion to the thin black t-shirt he's wearing. he shrugs his shoulders and pulls you to walk next to him instead of in front.
"I don't get cold often, remember?" he says, making the memory of him telling you that before front in your mind.
"oh yes I remember now, are you sure you're not cold?' he nods his head and looks to you with a reassuring smile before opening the door to the cafe, holding it open for you as you trot inside. you order a hot chocolate, offering Jake something but he declines.
The cafe is pretty, the walls a nice pretty green color with fairy lights littering the walls around you. it's not super busy especially for it being the middle of the day. Your drinks are finished and the two of you walk to the beach, not too far from the college. you grab his cold hand and lace his fingers with yours and urge him onto the sand, the water crashing down and meeting with the small grains to make a beautiful sound.
"its been so long since ive been to the beach, ive been so busy" you say and breathe in the salty air, and finish your drink, throwing it away at a near trash can and you start walking along the beach, avoiding the ocean water to not get your shoes wet. Jake follows you, walking a couple feet behind you.
Once you realize he's behind you, you stop and turn around to face him, questioning why he's walking behind you and not next to you. He stops in his tracks too, watching your body. Suddenly, an idea hits him as a shit eating grin makes its way to his face and you get the urge to run, watching the gears in his head turn. You spin around without questioning it and run away from him, and he takes off after you. You laugh and turn your head noticing how close he's gotten in such a short amount of time. You scream and pick up pace, but much to your avail, his arms wrap around your smaller frame and pick you up in the air. you kick your feet trying to get out of his hold, but he's strong, keeping you in his arms. He spins you around and throws himself on the ground, your body falling on top of his with a squeal.
"oh my god Jake, didn't that hurt?" you laugh and he shakes his head. you rest your chin on his chest as he lays in the sand, admiring how perfect his facial structure is. the way his blue eyes
blue eyes?
glitter in tune with the crystal ocean water. he brings his hand up to you, pushing the stray hairs out of your face and behind your ear. you shift on top of him and he feels every inch of your body very quickly. the way you smell is overwhelming and the way your warm, beautiful body is pressed against him pushes his senses into overdrive. his eyes change from blue to a deep red and within the fraction of a second, he's pushing your back into the sand with a small yelp coming from you, his face is in your neck, inhaling your scent deeply through his nose and out of his mouth. you whine, shifting uncomfortably underneath him as you wrap your arms around his neck, your fingers finding his hair.
"Jake..?" you call out to him, but he doest hear you as he bites down on his bottom lip, hard as an attempt to control himself. he groans into your skin and it sends vibrations throughout your body. one of his hands is on your waist, his fingertips digging into your skin, but you can't feel it.
You pull his head up to look you in the eyes, but when you see him, your lips part and you become breathless.
Hes so incredibly handsome, but he looks like he's in pain. his nails dig into your skin and you yelp, tightening your grip in his hair without realizing, making him moan and fall into your neck again.
"j-jake?? are you okay?" your worry makes him want to split you open and fuck you right there in the sand, but he can't. he wont hurt you. He shakes his head and tightens his grip once more before letting you go gently, standing up and looking down at you, a harsh look in his eyes as he speaks.
"I can't y/n.. I can't- fuck..." he cocks his neck away from you and walks away, so quickly it's almost as if he disappeared. you lay in the sand, awe struck and trying to figure out what the hell just happened. you lay there for a few minutes, wishing he would come back, say something- anything to you. your suspicions grow with every passing second and before you could let your mind go into overdrive, you get up and brush the sand off. on your walk home, you try and think of something else, anything to take your mind off the raging, burning hot pit in the bottom of your abdomen. you bite your lip so hard, it starts bleeding when you approach the door of your apartment.
You slam the door behind you and lock it. you throw off your clothes, suddenly feeling hot despite the cold weather. you get in the shower, trying to wash yourself clean, but no matter how many pumps of body wash you use or how red you scrub your skin, you feel dirty.
Does Jake not want to be around you because he figured out you have a crush on him? or even worse... you want him to use you? fuck you? you groan and throw your loofa on the ground and turn off the water.
after getting dressed and drying off your hair, you think about what to eat for dinner, but instantly feel nauseous at the thought of eating, so you just turn on the tv to distract your brain, but the phone on the corner of the table is calling your name.
You stare at the device before scooping it up to see if Jake texted you.
Nothing.
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The red universe has now become your second home as you find yourself here once again. the water isn't as cold as it normally is, it's actually quite warm. you clench your jaw with an eye roll and begin to walk around, looking for the familiar blonde boy and the mysterious woman in white.
it feels as though you've been walking around for hours before your eyes land on the familiar scene, only this time, its clearer.
he's once again on his knees with her in his arms, his hand is slipped under her night gown, her moans echoing off the chambers of your skull, a pang of jealousy hits you straight in the heart as you scowl.
he lifts his head and turns to you, the blood of the woman staining his lip and clothes, the same black suit has undertones of red and you tense at the eye contact. his fingers work faster inside of her as she turns her head, looking dead at you as you gasp.
All these nights of waking up with your clit pulsating and your mind as tired as can be finally all make sense as you look at the woman
a perfect mirror
its you
"no,,," you whisper
"oh yes" he chuckles darkly, and you go to turn your head because when he spoke, the voice wasn't coming from Jake himself, but from behind you.
when you turn your head, your body freezes as you're now on the ground exactly where the mirrored version of you was and you moan loudly at the quick ripples of pleasure that flow throughout your body, caused by jakes fingers working inside you, pumping your walls as you become as wet as the ground beneath you.
you turn your head to look at the man above you. his eyes are a deep, vibrant red and even though its dark, his pale skin is shimmering as if you're in a room full of lights.
"Jake.." you whimper to him, his eyebrows pinch together and suddenly he looks like he's in pain, giving you the same exact look he had given earlier at the beach.
he lowers his head to your neck, and bites down.
Your moans pick up volume as they fill your dark room, the moonlight cascades in through your window as jakes silhoutte is illuminated perfectly, his shadow pours down onto the bed where you moan his name in your sleep so prettily.
You fling yourself out of sleep, sitting up with heavy panting, your chest heaving up and down. Jake looks at you as you awaken, his figure looming over you as he stands at the foot of the bed. you feel anothers presence and decide to look up and that's when you see him. his eyes are as red as they were in your dream, and there are prominent eye bags that soil his perfect skin. the spaghetti straps on your white nightgown fall off your shoulders and your hair is a mess. with parted lips, you breathy call his name, but he doesn't move, nor does he speak.
"Jake please..." you call again. he bites his lip and shakes his head.
"I can't.." his pained voice responds finally after your plea. you feel your eyes burning and your clit is throbbing more than it ever has in your life, your forehead is starting to get glossy as sweat begins to rise on your skin. you shake your head, not understanding the meaning of all of this, the dreams, him running away, why he's so cold all the time but can't feel it, his eye color changes, why you've never seen him eat, or drink.
Why can't you read him?
"I don't understand, Jake please" you whine at him and it drives him crazy, falling head over heels once more. his hands make their way up to his hair as he tugs on it out of frustration.
"I'm in love with you y/n." his words vibrate your body, your eyes widening when you understand them.
"but I can't be with you."
"why?" you cry out to him, begging him to do anything, touch you, hold you, feel you. you need something, you need him more than anything.
"I can't hurt you. I wont do it." he turns around looking out of the window, and for the first time in his pathetic life, he feels his eyes sting, his thirst increasing with every passing second.
"I want you, please. you could never hurt me, I don't want you to go, Jake I-" you cut yourself off as he turns towards you, his hands dropping out of his hair to dangle by his sides.
"I love you" he scoffs, not believing you.
"you love a person who kills people in order to survive." you shake your head in disbelief, knowing this would come sooner or later.
"you love a person who has been resisting the urge to take you since the first moment he's laid his eyes on you, y/n." his voice is dark but somehow sweet. you shake your head again, denying his words.
"you love a monster."
"you're wrong. I love you Jake, I love Sim Jaehyun, I need you please- please don't leave me" you squeak out the last bit of your sentence. your eyes pleading him to stay. the arousal only growing stronger the longer his around you and he can sense it.
"I don't care that you're a vampire, I don't care about any of it I just need you, im begging you Jaehyun. stay with me, please. I can't imagine myself without you I dont want that" you get up on your knees, crawling over to his body that stands near the edge of the bed. his lips are parted, giving you a full view of his fangs that you've never ever seen before.
if he had one, his heart would have been shattered in his chest with the way you're looking at him; worried and completely heartbroken. he would rip it out and gift it to you on a silver platter if it meant he could be with you with no risks. so the venom coursing through is veins at rapid speed replaces his heart. he's never felt hot in his life up until this moment, where the woman he's been waiting for for centuries is begging for him. his eyes hold pain as they meet yours.
His hand moves up to grip your chin softly, ghosting his fingers along your skin before cupping your cheek, caressing your face with his thumb.
"I won't hurt you y/n. I can't.. imagine having an existence without you in it, but I refuse to cause you any pain. I wont do it" his voice is stern, a single tear falling from his eye and down his cheek in frustration. you want him to understand how badly you need him.
"you could never do such a thing, please, im begging you please don't leave me.." your eyes reassure him. it takes a moment of silence and a lot of thinking before he speaks, finally giving you an ounce of hope.
"if I stay here with you, y/n, you'll never be able to leave. you're life will forever be different. if you want me to stay, you'll be marked as mine, permanently. do you understand love?" he gives you the final opportunity to back out, and some sick part of him hopes you will stay. you nod your head in his grasp, but that's not enough for him.
"words, sweetheart."
"I want you and only you in this lifetime, and all the ones after, I promise. I'm yours" you say in a whisper, and that's exactly what Jake wanted to hear. he bends down so his face is right in front of yours
"I love you" he says quickly under his breath before his lips capture yours in a deep, heated kiss. giving up on the last bit of restraint he had. this kiss was one filled with so much desire and longing that it makes you whine into his mouth, and he happily swallows it. his free hand moves to the outside of your thigh, and before you realize, a flip switches in Jakes mind as he's picking you up by the bottom of your thigh, his huge hand swallowing you as he pushes you up farther on the bed, pinning you down. his teeth scratch your bottom lip as your teeth crash against each other. your hands fly to his hair, gripping on his blonde locks to keep you from floating out of your body. his hand then moves towards your knee, spreading your legs apart.
His hand slips up the silk of your night gown, his fingers met with the flimsy lace fabric of your panties that are soaked through and through. he growls lowly before he speaks
"you drive me so. fucking. insane." is all he says before pulling the fabric to the side and dipping his freezing fingers in your wet folds. you break the kiss as your eyes fly closed, white hot pleasure coursing through your veins as he rubs concentrated figure eights on your slit. your mouth slacks open in a perfect 'o' shape. Jake takes this opportunity to dip his face in-between the skin of your neck and shoulder, sucking the prettiest shade of purple into your soft skin. he can now hear your blood flowing.
he licks a stripe up the junction of your neck and collarbones and towards your ear, biting down on the lobe which causes you to arch your back into him. Jake takes this opportunity to plunge two long fingers into your tight cunt, and he chuckles at how tight you squeeze his digits. you turn your head to face him and he detaches from your neck, looking down at you.
your face buries itself into his neck, finding comfort in his cool skin against your hot face. your moans muffle against him as you flutter around his fingers deep inside of you.
he curls his fingers up, grazing your sweetspot perfectly and you moan his name rather loudly.
"let me hear you my darling" you detach from his neck and open your eyes, looking into his red ones as your parted lips moan his name in the most sinful chant he's ever heard. his fingers twist and curl into you faster, making your hips buck up into his palm.
Jake sits up and uses his free hand to push your hips down into the mattress, keeping you from moving.
"stay still" he commands, and you obey. Jake slowly sinks down onto the bed as his fingers pull out of you. you whine in protest, but quickly hush your mouth when he pulls your red lace panties down your legs with his teeth, his fangs on full display. you clench down on nothing at the sight and he sees this, chuckling darkly.
he throws your legs over his shoulders as he pins your hips down with one of his hand, the other coming to trace the slit of your pussy, gently rubbing a circle around your clit every time he makes his way back up. you groan in frustration after a minute passes, but that's quickly cut short as he forces two of his digits inside your pussy, curling upwards instantly to scratch your g-spot. you attempt to thrust your hips forward, but are met with the rough forcefulness of jakes hand keeping you pinned to your silk sheets.
his teeth graze your clit, his hair in his face making you feel the coil in your stomach form. you yelp when he bites down, sucking afterwards to soothe the pain as he begins to eat you out. his tongue is fast against you, the sweat forming on your body creates a beautiful glow on your skin and Jake can almost swear that you walked straight out of a painting. the most beautiful painting ever created. the moonlight cascades down over his figure, his jawline sharp as it moves when he laps at your cunt like a starved animal-
-and that's exactly what he was. your legs wrapped around him in a desperate, failed attempt to suffocate him as you squirm underneath his tongue. fast, wet, and cool as he fucking you from the inside out. his fingers splitting you open as they work inside you. your walls squeeze him tight and he wonders how you'll ever be able to take his cock.
"y-yun,, m'- ffuck" you moan out to him as you grip the silk sheets on either side of you. Jake can't get enough of how sweet you taste. the perfect girl having the most perfect taste, what more could he ask for? He groans into your pussy, his fingers pulling out of you to wrap around your legs, the hand on your abdomen mimicking the others actions as he pulls you into his face. if he could breathe, he would be suffocated. a part of him wishes he could be suffocated because this right here is the closest he's going to be getting to heaven ever. especially with the sinful thoughts that have collected in his head since he met you. he's the devil himself when it comes to you.
You gasp at his actions, gripping his hair tightly between your fingers and grind onto his face. his long tongue fucks itself into you, pulling out to lick, suck, and bite your clit at a perfect rhythm that has your back arching and Jakes name dancing off your tongue creating the sweetest harmony that fills his ears. your juices spill out of his mouth, much to his dismay, and down his chin and onto the bed, soaking the sheets under your ass. your legs shake in his tight grip, your grinding onto his face becomes sloppy as your moans become whimpers. your pussy flutters, and Jake takes note of this. His eyes watch you as he tips you over the edge, spilling all over him as he brings you to your first orgasm. you cream around his tongue as you squirt liquids everywhere. your breathy whine of his name makes his eyes roll into the back of the head with a groan that sends vibrations throughout your body starting at your cunt. he helps you ride out your high, slowly licking and sucking your clit to comfort you on your way down.
you collapse onto the bed as he stands up at the foot of your bed and you hear a click. his belt coming undone as you sit up on your forearms, eyeing him. You're breathless as you stare at the man before you. his eyes glow a deep red and the moonlight hits him perfectly as he takes off his belt in one quick motion, holding it in his hands staring at you.
"so pretty..." you say under your breath towards the creature before you. he chuckles at your words and throws the belt above you on the bed. you go to turn and look at it, but the feeling of his hands wrapped around your ankles prevents you from doing so as he yanks you down to the foot of the bed where he stands. you yelp in surprise as you're face to face with his chest. he grips the base of your jaw in his huge hand, forcing you to look up at him.
"I wan'.. to... want.." your words trail off, not knowing how to word what you want. he tilts his head to the side and brings his hand to the side of your face, cupping your cheek
"tell me what you want baby" his thumb caresses the soft skin, comforting you.
"I wan' you to... taste me..." you whisper and his ears perk up. he sighs, shaking his head.
"oh honey, I wish I could. I really do... but I can't.. I'll hurt you.. I'll lose myself" his hand entangles in your hair, massaging your scalp softly. you whine, shaking your head and furrow your eyebrows. you look up at him and place your fingers in the loop bands of his pants.
"please, yun.. please please please I want you to, need... please plea-" he quickly forces your nightgown above your head and throws it in the corner of the room to be forgotten before his hands find your hair again, yanking it back as you interrupt yourself with a loud scream at the pain. he forces your back down onto the bed as he reaches above you to grab his belt. he ties your arms above your head and around the bed post quicker than you can contemplate. he stands back up at the foot of the bed, watching you squirm under his gaze. he laughs at your helpless figure, finding it way to amusing how easy it is to get you to submit to him.
"you look so cute when you squirm around, my dear" he says unbuttoning his suit jacket and sliding it off, revealing the silky dark brown collared button up. he tilts his head at your whine as he unbuttons the dress shirt painfully slow, sliding it off of his arms to reveal his pale skin and toned body and your mouth waters. he slides the silky material off of him and shoots you a toothy, shit eating grin. one full of lust that makes your thighs clamp together. he unbuttons his dress pants and unzips the zipper, so slowly as if to taunt and tease you.
he slides his pants down passed his ankles and kicks them away, his boxers shielding you from seeing what you want the most. you whine again, signaling him to hurry. he shushes you and pulls his boxers down. his cock springing up to slap against his abdomen, precum leaking from his pink tip. he's huge. long and girthy as you wonder how the fuck that was going to fit inside you. everything about him is perfect, and he just now proved that to you. he crawls over your small frame, his hands enveloping your waist as he caresses your bare skin. the cold air hits your nipples, making them perky and hard, goosebumps littering your skin.
Jake takes his fingernail and presses it against your upper hip on your stomach, his eyes never looking away from you. before you could realize what was happening, he scratches you, hard. you let out a soft yelp at the sudden pain, blood trickling out of the fresh wound and slowly down your hip bone, pooling on your skin. he does it again with his other hand, above the other hip. you yelp, arousal pooling in the pit of your stomach once more and Jake can smell it. his eyes widen as he continues to look at you.
"god, look at you. such a messy, disgusting girl. you're enjoying this hmm?" he says before he cuts you open again. you moan at his words and the pain. your face heating up in embarrassment because what he said was true. you feel hot tears in the back of your eyes you feel so embarrassed, but in a good way. he takes note of your glossy eyes and pouts at you.
"no need to cry sweet thing, ill take care of you." Jake leans over you and kisses your tears away. his kisses trail from your cheeks, down your collarbones and in-between your breasts and down your stomach. he smells your blood before he looks at it, so close that he can basically taste it. his hands find your waist as he holds you in place, his tongue darting out of his mouth to lick the smallest bit of blood off your stomach. His mind goes into overdrive as white hot pleasure rips through him. you're the sweetest thing he's ever tasted, and it makes him want to suck you dry as you struggle underneath him. his grip around you tightens as his long tongue licks up your blood from one of your wounds completely, his lips latching around the cut as he sucks. your walls clench around nothing as you pull at the restraints around your wrists.
he groans into your stomach, your sweet taste covering all his senses as he moves to lick another fresh cut. the way you taste, he will never ever need anything else ever again. nothing could amount to you. you grind your hips into his body as his mouth moves to the final wound, licking it clean and when you look down, surprise overwhelms you as the deep cuts he made are completely healed up scars.
as you look into his eyes, you see Jake for exactly what he is; a vampire. that doesn't scare you away, however it turns you on even further. he quickly pushes himself above you, his lips crashing against yours as he bucks his hips into you, his dick pressing against your heat but not quite going in. you whimper into his mouth, a plea for him to fuck you. you can taste blood on his tongue as you grind against his length, begging him, needing him to use your body.
so that's exactly what he does.
He grabs his cock in his hand and presses it against your entrance, pushing his tip inside of you. you hiss at the stretch, tugging at your restraints. you whine from underneath him. his face finds its way to kissing your neck, littering your skin with his lips. he pushes his dick inside you slowly before bottoming out, his balls slapping against skin.
"so tight, so good baby,, feels like fucking heaven" he says, taking his cock out before pushing it back inside you, his tip instantly kissing your cervix in the sweetest way possible. you scream in pain and pleasure, his dick filling you up perfectly. he lifts his head from your neck so his lips ghost over your skin, breathing hot air on you making you shiver, goosebumps rising to your skin. you squirm in his hold, his hand coming to your waist to hold you in place as the other comes to grip the headboard above you.
His thrusts start off slow and gently, making sure you keep up with his rhythm. your walls flutter around his cock, driving him up the wall before his pace increases, thrusting into you faster and faster, the breathing on your neck giving you chills now as he moans into your neck. your boobs jiggle up and down with every thrusts while your moans begin to sound broken as you choke them out.
Jake licks your neck, making you moan even louder than before and you finally feel scared for the first time, wondering how it's going to feel when he finally sinks his fangs into you. will it hurt? you don't know, but you can't wait to find out. your legs shake and thrash around, and your jaw slacks open in a perfect "o", inhumane sounds spill from your lips as you beg for something you're not even sure of.
Jake growls against your skin, the grip on your waist increasing until his fingernails break the skin of your hips. the smell of blood hits his overdriven senses and he finally bites.
as he sinks his teeth into you, a blood curtailing scream is ripped from your throat, white hot pain shoots down your body in ripples as he sucks the blood out of you through your neck. you kick your legs under him, not sure if you're trying to get away, or make him chase you.
your scream of pain is replaced by pleasure as his venom spreads through your veins, your entire body feels like its on fire and you've never felt so good in your entire life. you pull at the restraints as you shake in his hold. his hand on your waist wraps around your back, pulling you into his body as he thrusts up into you.
Everything becomes too much and you can feel every inch of your body. even with jakes arm wrapped around you, you arch your back somehow closer into him, trying to fuse your body into his, wanting nothing more than to feel complete. you press into him with all your strength, wishing hard enough that you could intertwine your body with his own in order to finally feel as if you were one. he wasn't close enough even though he was all over and in you, spreading through you like ice. you want nothing more than to be whole with him in every way possible.
your pussy flutters around him as the knots in your tummy begin to unravel. your moans change and Jake picks up on it, noting how your body starts going limp in his hold. With much force, and an internal battle, he detached from your neck, moving his face to look into your eyes.
He looks handsome, your blood dripping down his chin, his lips stained the most beautiful shade of red. you being painted all over him.
"Let go baby im right here, I got you" is all he says before you let go, Jake being the one to catch you when you fall. the way you clench around his cock milks him dry as he cums inside you. the both of you orgasm in unison, your mixed fluids coming to hit the bed beneath you. Jake fucks you through your orgasm, it's not enough. he's not close to being done with you.
you harshly tug at the belt, your wrists feeling raw. you need to touch him, bring your sweaty body closer to his. He takes notice of your begging face and the tugging at your bonds. you look at him with teary eyes as he gives you a genuine pout. his thrusts not faltering as you feel another coil in your stomach begin to form.
"please, please please please please" you beg him before his arm unwraps itself from your body, undoing the belt in one quick, swift motion. he throws it across the room as it lands on the ground with. a clank. your now free hands fly to his back, your fingers digging into his skin, pulling him closer.
He kisses you deeply, your blood smearing on your face now. he bites your lip with a groan before rolling his eyes. His hand grabs your hips and forces you off the bed, his dick slipping out of you. Jake flips you over on your stomach as he moves behind you on your knees.
One of his hands grips your throat and forces you to sit up, your back pressed against his front. he bends his head down to your ear and whispers sinisterly.
"who owns you, pretty girl?" he asks and you gulp.
"you do" you answer and he smiles.
"that's right darling, such a good girl hmm?" he says. his cold body feels good against your burning one. its like you were made for each other. the moon and the sun, water and fire, two halves of the same whole.
He likes your neck, the one that has yet to be bit. you shudder at the feeling of his tongue on his skin before he gently nips you, the smallest trail of blood rushes down your neck, collarbones and down your breast.
His free hand snakes around your body, pressing two fingers against your clit, rubbing circles on your bundle of muscle. you moan, pushing your back against him. Jake licks the blood on your neck before biting down harshly. Another scream exits your throat as you jump, trying to get away from him, but your attempt to run is unsuccessful as he presses your ass against his dick, his strength overpowering you. the hand on your throat squeezes tighter, making you light headed as that white hot pleasure goes off in your body, spreading quickly once again and you're a moaning mess as you fall apart in his hands.
your body starts feeling like jelly, so Jake unlatches his mouth from your neck and pushes you down on your stomach, your hips hitting the soaked bed beneath you. His body crawls over your limp one. his arm snakes under your body and around your breasts to grip your neck once more, his other hand forces your thighs apart before grabbing his hard cock in his hand and pushes it inside you.
Your quiet mewl fills jakes skull as he groans at your sounds spilling from your mouth. his dick pushes against your sweet spot that has you a moaning, pathetic mess underneath him. your fingers lace inbwetween the bedsheets as you fist them in your palm.
Jakes thrusts are relentless, fucking himself inside you at an animalistic pace. the two of you are so disgusting and messy, the smell of copper and sweat leaks through the walls. you can feel is breath against your ear again as he moans into you, his sounds have you clenching around him, fluttering like an innocent little butterfly as you begin to lose all train of thought, your eyes beginning to look dead as a trail of drool exits from the corner of your mouth.
"aww, my precious angel, you look so adorable when I'm fucking you dumb" he coos at you, his teeth nipping at the skin of your neck behind your ear. you take his words with a clench around his dick, making him moan loudly. his grip on your throat tightens as does the one on your hips.
"takin' my cock so well, its like you were made for me pretty" his teeth sink into you one last time as he drinks your sweet liquid, the overwhelming pleasure coursing through your veins once more as you become overstimulated with everything around you. your body attempts to crawl away from him, but he doesn't let that happen
"s' too much, can't, please I can't" you beg, hot tears spilling from your eyes as saliva drools out of your mouth. he chuckles at your attempt to run
"you can take it sweetheart, doin' so good for me baby, you can do it" he says, his venom causing you to spill over the edge as his hips snap against your ass ruthlessly, fucking you into the mattress that you wouldn't be surprised if there is an outline of your body engraved in the plush material. you're also pretty sure the skin is red where his hips meet the flesh of your ass. you mewl as broken sobs fill the room along with the sound of skin slapping. the knot in your stomach snaps as you're creaming all over his dick, milking him dry as he shoots ropes of cum deep inside of you. his head falls onto your shoulder as he preps your skin in kisses as you come down from your conjoined highs. your bodies interlaced for all of time with the way he's marked you in more ways than one.
you're his and he's yours.
your eyes close as sleep overwhelms your mind as your breathing steadies. Jakes venom starts to exit your blood stream, making you unbelievably tired. Jake kisses your shoulder blade once more before you fall asleep.
"goodnight, y/n" is all you hear before you pass out in his arms.
.¸¸.♡.¸¸.☆¸.♡.¸¸.☆.¸¸.♡.¸
When you wake up, it's still dark outside, meaning you've only been asleep for a little bit now. you sit up and look around. the bed is clean, there are no marks on you from what you can see, and you're dressed in your white nightgown. your mind instantly goes into panic mode, worried that everything that happened between you and Jake was a dream. Your head fills with anxious thoughts before you lift your eyes to the window across the room, seeing Jake's silhouette cascade through your room thanks to the moonlight. you sigh to yourself before standing up out of bed, but you almost collapse onto the floor with how week you are. Jake hears your struggle and turns around, noticing you awake, he walks over to you, embracing you in his arms gently.
You look up into his now dark brown eyes, admiring how handsome he looks in this exact moment, your pupils dilate and Jake swear he can feel a pang in his chest. you wrap your arms around his neck and bite your lip anxiously, not knowing what to say.
"what's the matter my love?" the nickname calms you slightly, putting your thoughts together before you speak.
"that wasn't a dream... right..?" you ask shyly and Jake smiles at you.
"it was very much real baby" his fingertips trace the beautiful purple and red marks on your neck, and the bite scars that follow along with it. you let out a deep breath you didn't know you were holding. his hand cups your cheek and you lean into his comforting touch, closing your eyes. your mind goes against you as begin to overthink again, worried that he would leave you now that you know everything. as if he read your mind, he speaks.
"I've waited centuries for you, y/n. I'm not letting you go." he says before kissing your forehead.
"you're mine" he kisses your nose
"and I'm yours" he brings your hand up to his mouth and kisses your palm
"forever"
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megameatymatt · 3 days
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Step By Step - Matt Sturniolo
summary: Matt finds out about y/n's ED relapse
WARNINGS: e@t!ng d!sorder, swearing, throwing up, gagging, crying, self-hatred/insecure, feelings of hopelessness, overthinking
If you or anyone you know is dealing with an ED or substance abuse, call or text:  1-800-662-4357.
word count: 766
requested?: nope
A/N: I was feeling sad so all of you must suffer with me. Feedback, interaction, and requests are appreciated! ok bye
Pink: Y/n
Blue: Matt
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Matt knows you've dealt with an eating disorder in the past. He wasn't there during it, but you've talked to him about it and answered some of his questions. It didn't make you any less perfect in his eyes. To him, all that mattered was you being okay. But you weren't.
Four years later, you feel like you're falling back into it all over again—all the progress you've made, discarded within just a couple weeks.
You stare at yourself in the mirror and wish someone different stared back at you. You pinch at the skin on your thighs, stomach, and arms and wish the fat would disappear.
You sob silently. How can someone hate themselves so much, How couldn't you hate yourself so much, Y/n? Look at you, just look at you! You're lucky matt even stays. Thoughts circle around your head like a halo. Leaving you in nothing but shatters.
You walk to the toilet, shove a finger down your throat, and gag
The cycle begins.
Two weeks later, you walk into your kitchen to find Matt standing there. "Good morning, angel, I'm making pancakes. How many do you want." The thought of putting food in your mouth makes you sick. "Um, Matt, I'm not hungry." Matt frowns. "You love my pancakes, baby, what's the matter?" you shuffle through your brain, thinking of an excuse. "I'm full from last night, Y'know, the pizza." You, Matt, nick, and Chris had had a movie night. The boys ordered pizza and snuggled up on the couch as you all giggled.
"I watched you the whole night, Y/n, I didn't see you take a single slice," he says, flipping a pancake. "In fact i haven't seen you eat much at all lately, You alright?" Eat? How can he suggest such a thing? doesn't he want me to be pretty? i wanna be good enough to wear a bikini. I wanna be good enough to wear skin tight dresses, i wanna be good enough for him.
You shake away these thoughts trying your best to keep your composure. "I'm good, just give me one okay?" you say letting out a sigh. He smiles "Comin' right up princess" He hands you a plate with a pancake, syrup, whipped cream and some strawberries. Matt has already started digging into his own plate.
just a few bites Y/n, just let Matt think you're okay
You pick up your fork and knife with shaky hands, cut yourself a piece and quickly shove it it your mouth. Your body wants to immediately reject it, but you take a few more bites.
As soon as you swallow your first bite, it flies back up your throat. You get up and run to the bathroom. Matt follows you with concern. "Are my pancakes that bad?" he says, running after you. But as he walks into the bathroom. He notices how frail you've become. Tears are running down your eyes, and he finally realizes. You finish puking and flush the toilet and lean against the wall, almost lifelessly.
A few tears escape Matt's eyes. How could he be so stupid? how didn't he put it together? It was so obvious. He could've helped you. Why would you do this?
He runs out of the bathroom to get a glass of cold water, then quickly comes back to hold you. The only thing that could escape from his mouth was "Why"? "Just look at me, Matt, I hate it, I hate my body so fucking much, Matt, you don't even understand," you say, trying your best to yell, tears running down your face.
Matt is completely taken aback "But you're so beautiful, baby, You're hurting yourself. You were doing so good." You sob in Matt's arms, barely able to speak. "I-I'm sorry, Matt. I just wanted to be pretty." Your words felt like a knife in Matt's stomach.
''I tried so hard to fight it, Matt, I didn't want to go down this path again. I promised you I wouldn't. The words spill out like vomit, "But I did it anyway, Matty." You whine, "And it's worse than before. I'm so ashamed Matt. I'm sorry i'm putting you through this" Tears rush you your face, and you're shaking uncontrollably. The knife in Matts stomach only gets pushed deeper and deeper. "I'm sorry i never noticed Y/n, i'm so fucking stupid. The signs were so clear, i could've helped you." He wipes the tears off your cheeks. "But i'm gonna help you now baby." "I can't Matt" "we're gonna do it together okay? Step by step, Y/n. We'll be just fine"
Taglist: @sturnobsessedwh0re
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Your post of finding out butcher slept with Maeve was SO GOOD.
If you’re feeling up to it could you write another angsty piece where he tells the team and reader decides she cared way more about him than he cares for her and emotionally closes herself off a bit. Butcher notices and fucks her as an apology but she can’t stop thinking that he is only with her for convenience so when he’s close she fakes an orgasm so they won’t have to talk about her feelings.
He sort of believes her and they get pulled away for a mission or meeting and he’s watching her and realizes she faked it. Maybe he’s angry with himself for not noticing before/not making her feel good so he finds her after and truly apologizes and they have passionate loving sex instead of the usual rough fuck?
If you don’t feel like it I totally understand it’s just eating away at my brain I want this lunatic to love me so badd
no bc i love this as well!
i’m so sorry this too so long my brain is literally cooked atm ✨i hope i did the prompt justice
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“alright you lot, let’s get this shit on the road.”
Butcher leaned back on his chair, observing everyone that surrounded him for his presentation- His plan to infiltrate Vought Tower.
“Now, i gotta tell ya… getting this info took a bit of, let’s say gettin’ down and dirty with the enemy, the enemy being Queen Maeve.” He chuckled, gauging the reactions of the group. Some chuckled, some remained neutral… you on the other hand, had to swallow the hard lump that formed in your throat.
Trying to brush it off, you smiled and avoided his eyes- but all you could feel was the deep pain of your heart cracking open, caring more than you wanted to admit.
Butcher looked over at you, seeing the sullen expression on your face when you tried to mask how you really felt- but he kept going, talking about his night with Maeve and the information he obtained.
The casual way he talked about it cut you deeper, feeling as if whatever you both had between you was nothing. Nights that you spent with each other between the sheets, the lingering touches and glances in the office- all those moments to find that he had screwed someone else.
His words echoed in your ears, you tried to withdraw from any and all feelings toward him.
Any interactions with him were short- no eye contact, no lingering glances; trying to lessen the pain of what’s transpired.
Butcher knew that you weren’t happy, the distance that you had created and the walls you had built around yourself gnawed at his heart. Your avoidance of him and focus on the mission ahead of the group didn’t help the regret and guilt that built inside his chest, but he suppressed it- he didn’t want to feel it.
It took so much strength to not lay your heart out on the table, to scream and cry at him for what he did- not to talk about your true feelings.
With regret weighing heavily on his mind, he showed up at your apartment one night, saying nothing, only drawing you close for a kiss.
The heat of the moment blurred the resentment you felt towards him temporarily, and toward the bedroom you both went.
No time was wasted, clothes falling to the floor as butcher pushed you back onto your mattress and crawled on top of you- desperately wanting to feel you.
As your passions escalated, billy rocked himself into you and his face buried in your neck- that internal turmoil returned in full force within you.
Was he really here for you? or was this just a pity fuck? Were you just a convenient choice for him?
Your mind was filled with so many thoughts that you couldn’t concentrate on his movements. In a moment of desperation, you quickened your breath and pretended to moan, arching your body against his to make it as realistic as possible as you faked your orgasm.
He sunk his teeth into your neck as he came, grunts filling your ear. He loved the way that you sounded, not realising that it wasn’t the reality for you. He pulled away from your neck, pressing a kiss to your lips.
Looking at you he could see it in your face that something wasnt right, but before he could say anything his phone started to ring.
Answering the call, Hughie spoke on the other end talking of an emergency meeting, something that needed attention as soon as possible. Butcher hung up the phone, quickly putting on his clothes.
“Duty calls love, better get dressed.”
You didn’t say anything, just mirrored Billy’s movements as you both got ready to head out the door- en route back to Headquarters.
As you both exited the building, he turned to you.
“We can go in my car-“
“I’m taking mine alone, i’ll meet you there.” you looked at him briefly before turning the corner to your car- hopping into the drivers seat.
As you sat there, could see butchers figure in the rear view window, tears prickling in your waterline as you turned the car on.
Butcher stood there in silence, watching the engine sputter to life and tires squeal down the road. His nostrils flared as huffed in frustration as he stomped toward his car, trying to work out what was going on. Yeah, he knew they were pissed about the Queen Maeve situation- but there was something else.
After arriving at the Flatiron Building, everyone had gathered in their shared space listening to Hughie speak, but Butcher couldn’t help but keep his eyes on you as you sat across the room next to Kimiko.
His brows furrowed in contemplation, the cogs in his brain replaying your earlier encounter as he looked at your from afar.
The realisation hitting him like a sledgehammer that you didn’t truly enjoy yourself, feigning your pleasure- cracking the code of your facade.
Hughie went on for what seemed like hours before you were dismissed, you couldn’t have left the office fast enough.
Being met with the cool air you walked toward your car, but not before Butcher stopped you in your tracks.
“Oi, we need to talk.” He said softly, his arms crossed.
You sighed, pushing him out of the way to open the car door.
“No we don’t, i’m going home.” You weren’t giving in, not now.
“Just fuckin’ listen to me will ya?” he raised his voice slightly, putting his palm on the door to stop you from leaving.
“Not here Butcher, I can’t do this-“
“I-I didn’t mean to treat you like that. I thought that the Maeve shit didn’t effect ya the way it did and i just-“
“I’m not going to be a choice for you Butcher. i deserve better than that and you know it.”
“That’s not it, Love. the way i feel for ya ain’t like that.”
“Then why didn’t you notice me, Billy? The way I felt when you told me- no, the entire group that you screwed Maeve as if it was just a walk in the fucking park?”
Butcher was speechless, looking at you as his face filled up with even more regret- knowing he’d hurt you even more than he could imagine. He couldn’t speak, only look at you.
“That’s what i thought.”
Tears threatened to spill from your eyes as you choked on your words. You threw open the car door, starting the ignition as quick as possible to drive off.
Watching you drive off from the sidewalk, Butchers fists had begun to white knuckle. He was angry at himself, knowing that he fucked up and hurt one of the only people that he cared for.
He knew that he couldn’t just let you walk away like that, he wasn’t giving up as he made his way to your apartment.
His hand rapped at your wooden door, his heart pounding as he waiting for you to answer- hoping you would open the door for him.
You were on the other side, looking at him through the peephole. The internal debate on whether or not to open the door raged on within you-
The door opened just a crack, just enough to see butchers sullen face.
“Cmon love, let me in. You know we gotta sort this.”
You looked at him for a few moments and opened the door as he walked in, silently standing at the kitchen counter. Wether or not you were going to regret letting him in was gonna be
You stood a few feet awake from him, looking at him so he could speak. The silence in that moment was deafening.
“I’m sorry.” he piped up, sighing as he rubbed his face in his hands. “I thought you’d understand, Maeve and myself was just an intel exchange- and today when i came over i didn’t look after you properly, i know that ya faked it.”
“Billy it doesn’t matter…” you murmured, wiping a tear away.
“No it fuckin’ does matter, because whether ya like it or not i care for ya, more than ya know.”
He walked over to you, putting your face in his hands.
“I should have taken care of you, the way that you deserve. I fucked it up, love.”
You looked at him, seeing the sencerity in his eyes as he wiped your tears away with his thumbs.
“I-i just don’t want to be your backup… the other choice.”
“There is no other choice, sweetheart. the only one is you.” He nearly choked on his words, but stalled the lump in his throat.
“I will do anything, absolutely anything to get you to trust me again… let me love you, the way you deserve to. Let me make it right, please…”
The look in his eyes was full of sincerity, he wanted you to feel his love - His hands wrapped around your torso, pulling you into his chest.
Your eyes met his as the turmoil that boiled within you faded.
“Then show me.” your voice barely above a whisper.
That was all he needed, placing his palm on the back of your neck and pulling you in for a searing kiss and backing you up towards the wall.
It was unlike any other kiss you had shared with him- not half hearted, it was raw and real.
Quickly shedding yourself and him of all clothes, he carried you toward the bedroom- placing you gently onto the soft mattress.
He wanted to take his time with you, savouring how you felt and the way you tasted as his lips travelled between your thighs. “God i would spend eternity here… tasting your sweet pussy.” Licking a stripe up you, relishing in the taste of your essence and the moans that bounced off the walls as he continued his actions against you, not stopping until you came on his mouth.
Panting and shaking with desire you pulled him up from between your thighs and in for a kiss, tasting your arousal on his lips and tongue.
“Billy, please… i need you.” you breathed, wrapping your thighs around him. He didn’t need to be asked twice, lining himself up with you.
“God love, i can’t wait to feel you, to make you feel good. You are everything, my everything…” he praised you, wanting you to feel how he felt about you.
His cock sunk deliciously into your cunt, thrusting ever so gently and deeply to feel you entirely. The sound of slapping skin mixed with the pair of you panting and groaning from satisfaction.
Your hands travelled to his hair, pulling on it and hearing the soft groans fall from his lips, causing him to thrust faster into you. “Ah.. fuck…” he grumbled, sinking his teeth into your collarbone as he continued his actions against you- making you yelp as the pleasure and pain of his bite sent jolts through you, the knot in your stomach starting to unravel as you reached the edge of your orgasm.
“Billy, i’m go-gonna…” you moaned, biting down on his shoulder- earning a strained groan of satisfaction from him.
“Let go f’me love… please.” he was almost there, but needed you to be satisfied before he could.
Your thighs shook around his waist, the pulsating rapture flowing through you as you called his name, your fingers pulling at his dark hair as you came.
He shuddered as you grabbed onto him, his cock pulsating as hot cum coated your walls. Heavy breaths filled your ears as he came down from his high, bringing his head to face you.
“So beautiful, all mine…” he whispered, looking down at you and smiling at how you looked in your after glow. You smiled softly back, your fingers lingering along his beard.
“I’m gonna make you feel my love, Sweetheart. I love ya…” he whispered, knowing that he had a lot to show for- to prove to you how much you mean to him.
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frodo-with-glasses · 5 hours
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More Reading Thoughts: Fog on the Barrow-Downs
At long last, our journey resumes!! And ohoho what a chapter to start off with X-D
Oh my word THIS is where the “far green country under a swift sunrise” line comes from. I might cry.
There’s something about getting ready to leave early in the morning, when the air still smells cool and clear, that’s just nearly magical. I love that Tolkien leaned into that vibe here.
Frodo being distressed that they didn’t say goodbye to “my fair lady Goldberry” is so darling of him X-D
GOLDBERRY SPARKLES WHEN SHE DANCES
Once again, Tolkien’s descriptions of the country they traverse are beautiful at atmospheric.
Oh yes. One singular cold rock, standing upright all by itself, like a finger pointing towards the sky, in an area where you KNOW there are ancient graves nearby. That’s not worrying at all. Let’s just use it as a cooling pad. Great idea.
And now they took a too-long afternoon nap and are surrounded by fog. Great job, guys.
In which Tolkien reminds us that he ABSOLUTELY can write horror…
“‘Where are you?’ he cried out miserably.” Oh poor Frodo 😭
The Wight answering “HERE! I AM WAITING FOR YOU!” is NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE
Oh sure just leave it until the end of the paragraph to mention that the hobbits are lying surrounded in treasures with a SWORD ACROSS THEIR NECKS
Bruh reading the Wight’s incantation actually gave me chills oh my word
FRODO HACKED THE HAND OFF THE WIGHT’S ARM LET’S GOOOOO
The fact that Frodo falls on top of Merry specifically is making the Cousin Feels part of my brain go brrr
I cannot WAIT to draw this ahahaha >8-D
SUDDENLY: TOMBADIL
The severed hand is still WRIGGLING EUGH 🤮
Did Tom stomp on the hand like a spider??!? That’s hilarious LOL
THEY’RE ALIVE!!!
Sam being annoyed with the burial clothes is PEAK 🤣
The ponies are okay!!
Tom like “seems I’m gonna have to babysit you boys until you get to the Road so you don’t get freaking lost again” 🤣
Tom choosing a brooch from the treasure pile for Goldberry is adorable actually
THE DAGGERS LET’S GOOOO
One of those is gonna kill a troll, and the other is gonna stab the Witch King in the knee >:-D
A vision of a Man with a star on his forehead?? Aragorn foreshadowing?? 👀
The two stones Frodo rode between earlier have mysteriously disappeared. Thanks I hate it.
Turns out the line of “trees” they saw in the distance was actually a line of bushes that marked off the boundary of an ancient kingdom. But we don’t get to learn anything else about it, except that the memory of it makes Tom sad. Yet another example of Middle Earth being SO FREAKING OLD.
THEY FOUND THE ROAD 🥳
The hobbits like OH RIGHT, CRAP, THE BLACK RIDERS
Bye Tom!
Sam like “welp, I suppose he’s the nicest and weirdest person we’ll come across” 😂
Of course the Brandybucks visit the Prancing Pony every now and then!!
Frodo like “if you tell anyone my name is Baggins then SO HELP ME—”
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youcouldmakealife · 14 hours
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Stuff that Helps me Write: Pacing (no, not that kind), and burnout avoidance
So this was supposed to be about something entirely different., but every time I started making a point, I got distracted by a second, bonus idea (ways to trick your brain when it's not cooperating with you! things I've tried (I will try everything) and what worked and didn't! what to do with writer's block!) and then start writing about that, and I've got half a dozen unrelated paragraphs going in my drafts, so I think I'm just going to make this a mini-series of 'stuff that helps me write and may also help you (or maybe they won't, I don't know, this shit's all subjective)'.
If there's anything in particular you'd like to hear about, or something about my process you're curious about, absolutely feel free to reply or shoot me an ask and I'll do my best to address them as I go.
But yeah, pacing. And more specifically, not burning out. I figured it was important I hit this one first, because I think it's the most important one, or at least, the one that makes the biggest difference.
With the caveat that I am someone who has repeatedly driven myself into burnout, I'm also someone who now knows why that is, and have been teaching myself how to, you know, not do that.
So. Here's how I, you know, don't do that.
Will preface this by again mentioning that most writing advice (and advice in general) never seemed to work for me, and I mostly thought I was just Bad at Doing Things, until I learned my brain's literally wired differently, and that I'd been trying to apply processes that didn't actually work for said wiring.
So instead, I figured out what worked for me. And what works for me isn't necessarily what will work for you, or even what will work for me a month or five years down the line, but it's going okay right now.
I'll straight up say that, contrary to all the Writing Advice, I don't write every day, and I don't think it's necessary, or even necessarily a good idea -- I have at times, but I no longer do, because if I write for more than six days straight I find the proverbial well dries up and I write less than I do had I just taken a break when I needed it.
Cognitive energy and the sort of ephemeral ~inspiration (work that's been done on a subconscious level) are fundamentally no different than physical energy: if you don't replenish it, you will run out. If you overdo it, you will run out. If you consistently overdo it without replenishing it, you will burn out.
Taking a page from hockey players here: if you did an intense workout right before a game they'd ask what the fuck was the matter with you. You need a nap and a meal and to get some stretching and light work in. Running at 100% all the time will burn you out in every single field, including this one.
That's not me saying not to run at 100% at all. I generally try to pace myself now, but if I'm really in it, and the words are coming easily, I don't stop until they stop -- I wrote just shy of 4k of later scenes for SAIT last week (my 2024 record!), all in one sititng, by hand, when I was supposed to be sleeping, because that's when the inspiration came. I didn't fall asleep until past 6am that night, and my hand is still mad at me.
But you know how much writing I got done the follow day? (None, I was busy transcribing 4k of handwriting). The rest of this week? (Not much more than that). Those bursts of energy are awesome, and honestly can make you feel like a writing god, but the well's the well, and I've learned my personal well is about 5000 words a week deep.
Before my most recent scrape with autistic burnout, which I'm still sort of climbing my way out of, that well was closer to 7500 words. But honestly, it probably wasn't; I was likely just siphoning words from future wells and then it all caught up with me when I was looking at a horizon of dry-ass wells ahead of me. (I'll admit this isn't a perfect metaphor.)
But seriously, my advice for basically everything, not just writing (and something I wish I'd learned before I hit my 30s), is 'figure out what pace you can work at sustainably'.
Please note that 'sustainably' is not 'without literally dying'. Because my literal ass thought when people said 'give everything 100%' they meant, you know, 'give everything 100%' (I know! absurd of me), rather than 'give the best effort you can give in this moment considering your current resources'. So I gave it my all (also interpreted that one wrong I guess?). And then I wondered why I kept hitting a wall all the time. And why, eventually, I stopped being able to climb that wall entirely.
I don't think I'm ever going to reach that 7500 word threshold again. There will be weeks I'm so inspired I write that much, but the next week I probably won't manage more than 2500. Or maybe I'll have two 7500 weeks in a row, but I'll need to take a whole week off after that, or spend several weeks working at a lower tempo while I let the well replenish itself.
I've been tracking some metrics quite closely as I sort of tweak my life into its new shape (said shape being 'do the best you can given your resources') , and during my most productive month of this year I wrote 3x as much as the worst (writing wise, I was finalising publication at the time), my current weekly average is about 4800 words. Sometimes it's a bit higher or lower, sometimes much higher or lower, but that's what I can sustainably do right now.
Frankly, I'm a little cranky about this: I know I can do more, because I did do more. But my priority now is not to send myself straight back into burnout again, so when I sprint, it's just that, rather than my previous 'trying to run a marathon at the pace of a sprinter'. I'm writing less than I used to, but it's honestly not that much less: because the pace is sustainable rather than boom and bust, I don't run myself ragged enough to desperately need a break.
I'm aware this advice only works if you have control over your own time, and a schedule that doesn't force you to focus on writing say, one day a week, or around other obligations, but the only real workaround for burnout is consistency, and that consistency cannot be your maximum.
Or, it can, but I guarantee you that will bite you in the ass at some point, and the pain of not getting enough done is nothing compared to the pain of not being able to get anything done because your nervous system threw up its hands and decided if you weren't going to listen to their clues (feelings, symptoms) or their warnings (Feelings, Symptoms) that you were overdoing it, they were going to shut your ass down until you listened.
0/10 do not recommend.
Next week: how to trick your brain into doing shit that it doesn't feel like doing, even though it's onto all your tricks by now. Or at least, how I trick mine.
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wesker turned into a cat. now what?
implied wesker x reader towards the end
summary: yk princess and the frog? it’s that.
no use of y/n - gn!reader
a/n: writing this instead of updating my fic because my brain stopped working. anyways!!! i did not specify what color/breed cat!wesker is so feel free to use your imagination. also the lowercase is intended btw.
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he doesn’t know how it happened nor why, but he has to get to the bottom of it. what the hell did he even do to get left in this pathetic state? it should be unreal that this is even happening. but it’s late and he’s the only one who hasn’t gone home yet, so what does that mean?
nap on the comfiest chair and call it a night.
he can figure this out when his mind is clouded with exhaustion. and before anyone sees him like this. he’d likely have to kill everyone in STARS or himself out of embarrassment. but he’s asleep before he can decide on a proper method. do all cats fall asleep so easily?
“aww, where’d this dude come from!? is he yours?” before his eyes are even open, wesker’s being lifted into the air and fawned over by… oh.
it’s you.
you were always early to clock in, and he didn’t entirely hate you. still, he would’ve thought you would know better than to pick up a random animal with god knows how many diseases. not that he’s like that. he’s one of the clean ones, of course.
“a cat? he must be chief irons’…” says chris, peeping over your shoulder. wesker grimaced.
no way would he ever be someone’s house pet, much less that old bastard irons’ house pet. his grimace deepened when chris took him from you. he called out his name, but it came out in a sharp hiss. well, at least he could still show he wasn’t interested in this puny form.
“I don’t think it likes you, chris. look at it. look at its ears,” you say poking at wesker’s little airplane ears. nevermind. you’re just as bad as redfield.
“nah, I’m good with all kinds of animals. just ask claire!” chris laughed confidently. he pulled the catified wesker up to his face and rubbed him against his cheek affectionately. “who’s a good kitty~? who’s a good— argh! what the fuck!? damn cat!”
one good swipe at the cheek was enough for chris to shove the mysterious tom back into your arms. you couldn’t help but laugh at your friend, watching a bit of blood trickle from the cut just under his left eye.
“I told you, chris. karma’s a bitch, you know.”
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“he can’t belong to chief irons. he doesn’t exactly uh… like animals.”
you’re sitting at your desk, the cat in front of you. across you are jill and chris sitting at their own desks, facing you. by now you’re all stumped. none of you have any idea where this cat came from in the first place. or why he was so menacing for no reason.
“and we can rule out barry.” chris adds. “he’s allergic… so he says. then again he does prefer dogs over cats,” he murmurs. you and jill take his word for it since chris has known barry the longest. “he’s here, but he won’t set foot in the office as long as this fella’s hangin’ out.”
earlier after disinfecting chris’s scratch, the two of you discovered that the cat was a male, though it almost cost you an eye because wesker wasn’t there to be a vulnerable, pitiful creature. however, he will never admit that your belly scratches felt quite nice.
wait. what’s wrong with him? it had to have been a side effect of this whole… situation.
“hey, maybe he can be an office cat! do you think if we ask captain wesker nicely he’ll let us keep him?” you ask. at the mention of his name, albert’s ears twitch involuntarily and he gets your attention with words translated into meows. “no, silly. you’re not wesker,” you pat the creature’s head and smile.
after a moment, jill perks up with an idea. “we should name him! let’s call him captain whiskers for now, hm? it’s like homage to wesker, it’s perfect.” she suggests.
albert lets out an annoyed sigh, again coming out as a low, rumbly meow. the three of you nod in agreement, having officially decided on a name for your temporary pet. however, he notes how things could be much, much worse for him. still, he would’ve expected better from his team. at least you and jill, anyway.
while loving on a random cat carrying any number of diseases isn’t one of your better ideas, he concludes that this transformation will lose effect soon enough and that thing could be much, much worse for him.
well… this wouldn’t be the end of the world, he thinks as you scratch that itch behind his pointy ears.
it’s the end of the world.
no work's been done.
barry's been avoiding the office all day so there's no order whatsoever.
rebecca and the other bravo team members are encouraging all the tomfoolery happening.
and worst of all, he's been everyone's muse for entertainment. there was nothing worse than this.
while all of you are goofing around, he's praying a bioweapon barges into the stars office and massacres everyone last one of these absolute hooligans.
"Wait! you can't use a marker on his fur, that's dangerous for cats!" rebecca injects as you and jill are attempting to recreate the lion king with the newly appointed 'captain whiskers'.
you turn around and see chris picking at the bandaid on his face. "hmm. hey, chris! is your scratch still bleeding? mind lending us some blood? we need something red!"
"what the fuck? hell no, are you insane?! use your own blood!"
albert, who's suspended in the air swears up and down that there'll be more blood if something doesn't stop you guys right now. a tyrant, a natural disaster— god, even. but no, he just has to be subjected to what very may well be torture. if this wasn’t proof that the universe hated him, he didn’t know what was.
“i have a sticker,” brad shuts his desk drawer and holds up a sheet of stickers— usually handed out to the children who visited the station on school trips. he peels off a red star and sticks it gently on albert’s forehead while you hold him still. relaxed as he is with you, he’s hating every second of this.
he keeps trying to remind himself that things could still get worse. it could be chris holding him right now. though it looks like he put some sort of fear in chris after the first incident. he hasn’t tried picking him up at all.
“oh yeah, just like the movie,” brad chuckles.
“good thing chief irons isn’t here. wesker too. they’d suspend us all without pay if they were seeing this.” jill says through a smile. rebecca agrees, as do you and chris.
“speaking of which… where even is wesker? did he come in today?” chris asks.
“nah, he didn’t. but he’s really fucking late though,” you giggle. “now he can stop giving us shit for not being on time. i bet he ran out of hair gel or something and that’s why he’s been a no-show.”
still imprisoned in the air, albert hisses and irritated ramblings become angry meows that reverberate across the room. he swiped at your arm, leaving a deep cut along your forearm. as deep as his claws could manage, anyway. he began to flail around, demanding to be set down as he caused a scene.
“woah— hey, dude! little shit— cut that out!” you shout as if you’re scolding a misbehaving toddler. “jesus fuck, i’ll put you down,”
you set him down, and almost immediately he darts to the corner of the room where he leaps onto a cluttered shelf before curling up nicely on a stack of files.
it’s been a few hours and things have calmed down. albert remained curled on the shelf, watching as everyone decided to work at their desks the rest of the day. normally he’d be doing the same, but nothing since last night has been even remotely normal.
some of the team went in and out, and barry popped in once but immediately left when he saw the cat again. when the end of the day rolls around, everyone’s getting ready to leave. rebecca goes first, giving albert a little pet before heading out. next it’s brad and jill who leave who bid the cat goodbye on their way out, leaving chris, captain whiskers and yourself.
“you’re taking that thing home? what if he kills you in your sleep?” chris asks, shuddering as you cradle the cat in your arms.
again, albert doesn’t mind. in fact, he finds himself leaning more into your hand the more you insist on massaging his head. it isn’t long before his tired eyes snap open when he realizes he’s purring. purring? no way.
this can’t be. being affectionate isn’t his thing, nor is being on the receiving end of it. he doesn’t like this… but he’s beginning to doubt that belief when he attempts to curl into you. he seriously can’t help it. was this some kind of curse? would he permanently become an actual cat by midnight like fucking cinderella? as if his mind wasn’t already a hell of a mess.
“oh really? i think he likes me. beside, he can’t sleep in the office. what if someone else finds him and kicks him out?” you ask. “either that or wesker blames us for the amount of cat fur all over the chairs and we get in trouble with irons. i’ll buy cat food on the way home, and he can use the bathroom outside like a dog if he has to. what’s the worse that’ll happen?”
that i’ll probably become some mangy cat for the rest of my life, albert wants to say, but is too busy absorbing your body heat to even comprehend anything else. you’re just so warm, and it’s making him feel unwillingly fuzzy inside. at least now he can say his inside matches his outside.
“i’m pretty sure he’s not gonna murder me. he’s a sweetheart, just look at his cute little face,” you grin, using your index finger to scratch that spot under captain whiskers’ chin.
chris shifted his gaze to the creature, who met his eyes instantaneously. a shudder trailed down his spine as he stared into the cat’s cold, calculating gaze that felt a little too familiar. he just shook his head and chose to ignore that sudden weird feeling. “yeah… that’s not the word i’d use, but if you think you’re up to it…”
“of course i am. now walk me to my car before someone actually tries to murder me.”
you’re lucky there was one store left open this late at night. the only 24 hour store in the area.
“wet food, dry food, all that…” you say to yourself, buckling yourself back into the driver’s seat. “and…” you trail off digging through the bag before tossing it in the backseat. “a little cat bow-tie!”
you present the navy blue tie to albert who’s sat in the passenger seat. when you hold it out, he sits up a little more. if he’s going to be a cat tonight, he’ll be damn sure to be a proper looking cat while he’s at it.
he lets you clip the collar around his neck and you give him some more scratches for sitting still. if and when he returns to normal, he’d never bring this up. ever. and he’d never admit it… but the idea of being pampered and treated like a higher being sounded quite nice. he knew enough to know that cat owners practically worshipped their companions.
“aww, look at you!” you use both hand to lightly scrunch his little face together. “hm, i’ve always wanted a cat.” you say, pulling your hands away to start your car. “you’re very handsome in that bow-tie, captain whiskers,”
when you arrive back at your apartment, you bring albert into the kitchen and place him on the counter while you find a plate to put the cat food on (you’d forgotten to purchase a feeding bowl). half of it was a bit of wet food, the other half was dry. you wanted to be sure what your new kitty preferred.
“okay,” you say, sliding the paper plate in front of the cat for him to eat. he had to be hungry after not eating a thing all day. “i’ll get you some water, too.” your back is only turned for a second before you hear something hit the floor. slowly, you turn around to see that the plate had been smacked onto the ground. “i— what the hell, dude!”
albert only blinks at you before before sitting himself on the edge of the counter. he’s not about to eat that rubbish, what the hell does he look like to you? you would feed that to a house pet? absolutely not. he’d wait for you to pull something out for yourself and eat then.
“spoiled. whatever… if i give up now chris won’t let me live it down.” you mutter. you grab up the plate and sweep up the food. after throwing it into the trash, you cross your arms and stand in front of the cat. “mmm… it’s fine though. you’re cute.”
you pet his head again, letting your hand glide down his back and scratching near his tail. he seems to like it. he does.
he’s not sure why he’s purring so much, why it feels like he vibrating from the inside out. he stretches out his front legs, spreading out his little toes as he kneads into the counter. it’s surprising how natural this is beginning to feel. is that a good thing? he doesn’t really care, because he’s absolutely lost right now.
this was beneath him.
this wasn’t him at all.
why was he feeling so… so desperate? why did he suddenly feel some kind of emotion— some kind of yearning for affection?
yet albert didn’t attempt to hiss or scratch you. at the very least, he found you more tolerable than most. or maybe it’s because you were always hanging out with chris and between the two of you… he preferred you most of the time. no offense to chris, as he was still a reliable teammate.
albert stands up and pushes his head against your hand, causing you to let out a quiet laugh. the petting increases and his purring becomes louder whether he wants it to or not. you still need to get him some water, so you pull your hand away.
“okay, okay. let me just get you something to drink so you don’t die of dehydration,” you tell him rubbing his back and kissing the top of his furry little head before turning around to find a bowl sizable for a cat.
you find one good enough and fill it halfway. you’re careful not to spill it as you turn around, but the sight you’re met with makes you forget that completely as you drop the bowl and let smash against the tile floor.
“oh, shit—“ you don’t know what to say. “uh… captain wesker…? but how—? th—the cat…?”
his hair’s messed up and his otherwise neat clothes were wrinkled and disheveled. you see that his dark shades are missing, too. what the fuck was going on? were you dreaming? were you asleep? was everything that happened today even real??
right now albert wesker was sitting on your kitchen counter in place of a stray cat— and he looked just as confused as you did. but his confusion was quickly replaced by a nonchalant relief as he uttered ‘finally’ under his breath.
“you.” it’s the first thing he says, feeling slightly delirious and a little flushed. “you’re very warm.” he awkwardly states.
the fuck?
you can feel heat creeping into your cheeks, and you’re sure you’re bright red in the face. looking anywhere except at wesker.
“…you were a cat. how were you a cat? can you turn back into a cat? i think i liked you better as captain whiskers.” you had so many questions. the biggest one being how the fuck your captain turned into a cat. you bring your eyes back to him.
albert slides off the counter, leaning back against it with crossed arms. “captain wesker isn’t good enough for you, hm?”
…and that’s how you found yourself on the couch with your captain sat on the floor in front of you, hands tangled in his hair as you watched the lion king until the late hours of the night.
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a/n: cat wesker my favorite menace
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latenlghtdevil · 2 days
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Recipe For Disaster ❤️‍🔥 Chapter One
So, here's the result of my head chef!sukuna x f!server!reader ideas running rampant in my mind — a very slowburn enemies to something fic 🫣 I hope y'all enjoy and lmk what you think, my asks are open!! mwah xx
2057 words
Head Chef Sukuna Itadori had worked very, very hard to get to where he was today— sweating his ass off while slaving over the umpteenth filet of the night.
He wasn't ungrateful but he was a bit bitter. He loves cooking, and was damn good at it, but the hours were long and the job could feel really thankless. Especially when tables found it more than okay to completely change his prepared menu for their singular order.
As a ticket printed, riddled with modifications that changed his entree for the night from a marinated steak option to, basically, a steak stroganoff. Yes, he could make it using all kinds of ingredients they had on hand, especially since the server had managed to figure out the complicated system in order to ring it in properly, but, he wasn't going to do it. It wasn't prepped or planned for, and in the middle of a dinner rush like right now, it would complicate everything.
He didn't make exceptions. Unless there was an allergy, his restaurant, Gōrudosutā, was not a place for substitutions and and picky eaters. Sukuna spent his countless sleepless nights racking his brain for new creations, each weekend night offering a different menu, most items never to be repeated again. This wasn't anything new, so who the fuck rang something like this in?
He yanked the ticket off the printer, his eyes narrowed as Geto gazed over his shoulder, scoffing as he read it. A deep breath escaped Sukuna before he crumpled the ticket, the newest servers name printed boldly at the top.
Sukuna didn't like you during your interview, he felt like you were too bubbly, but you had plenty of experience and it was ultimately Satoru’s say, as the front of house manager. He definitely had a lot to say about you.
He couldn't stop gushing about all of your previous high end restaurant experience, starting in fast food and working your way well up from there. Great reviews about her service, wonderful recommendations from every manager she's ever had, regulars who'd follow her no matter where she worked next.
It irked Sukuna. He loves the restaurant industry, but the servers who put too much into it irritated him. There was no reason to fall at the customers feet and accommodate their every beck and call; your job was to serve the food, no friendliness and frills needed.
So the first time he stepped out of the kitchen during the earlier hours of a slower night and overheard you dotting to one of your tables, he wanted to barf in his mouth.
He stood with his back against the wall near the servers station waiting for Saturo to stop sucking up to an unhappy customer, as you stood with your table just around the corner, chatting happily.
“I don't mind at all,” Your soft voice caught his attention, making him glance over his shoulder at you, a bright smile plastered on your face. “Seriously, if there's anything else you guys need, just let me know.”
You finished topping off the tables waters, before moving to the next, just doing your rounds of check-ins with your guests.
You couldn't be that sweet, Sukuna thought to himself. You hadn't been there long at that point, maybe worked a shift or two without shadowing anyone, so he hadn't been around you much to know, but his gut told him that you couldn't actually be that sweet, you'd be filled with cavities.
He was lost in thought, glancing over the dining room with his arms crossed over his chest, his chefs coat pulling tightly against his muscles. He was brought back to this realm as a sweet smell enveloped him as you round the corner, your head down as you read over a ticket, running straight into Sukuna and nearly knocking the breath out of you.
“Oh…” You placed you hand on your chest as you looked up at him, his eyes on you intently as yours quickly trail around his tattoos before meeting his. “I'm sorry, Chef.”
He couldn't find it in himself to say anything, his brow furrowed as he glanced at your notepad, the edges of the ticket littered with doodles. A small grunt left him before he turned on his heels, heading back toward the kitchen.
“Corner!” Sukuna called as he left you behind, your mind now filling with assumptions about the dickhead chef, nothing you hadn't delt with before.
As his mind replayed your last and only interaction, he reached behind himself, untying his apron as held the ticket tightly in his other hand. “Geto, watch the flattop, I'll be back.”
Sukuna stepped off the line, tossing his apron onto the empty prep line, his footsteps heavy and determined as he moved toward the front, the kitchen and expo widow falling quiet at the look on his face. He didn't call anything as he stepped out of the back, his eyes falling on you in the dining room, talking to the table to blame for the whole issue in the first place.
You felt his eyes on you before you even knew he was there, your hands nervously playing at the edges of your server apron, your pens rolling in the pocket. You nodded softly, your heart in your stomach as you space out of the conversation, wishing you'd been able to listen better to the story your regulars were telling but you knew the problems there were about to cause.
The older couple had become regulars of yours a few years and a couple of restaurants ago, having told you many stories of their younger days, bringing in their children and grandchildren to meet you, bringing you presents on your birthday. They weren't the only regulars you'd had like that either.
As draining as the restaurant industry was for you, you loved giving the best service you could to people, you couldn't ever explain why. Maybe you were a bit too compassionate, but it made you feel good and you loved the genuine connections you've made through it all.
That being said, you know it has its faults, especially somewhere like here. You'd been nervous about telling some of your regulars where you'd been working now, knowing just how they are and how this restaurant ran.
You made an excuse to leave, claiming you had food to run as you turned around, his steeled eyes meeting yours. You broke your eyes from his, offering a half hearted smile at a few of your tables as you made your way through the dining room, feeling like a lamb to slaughter.
Thick fingers held the receipt paper up to your face as soon as you came within feet of him, and you could've sworn he growled before he spoke. “What’s this shit?”
“Looks like an order to me.” You shrugged, sliding past him and to the computer, quickly punching in your number before beginning to ring in another.
You could feel the bewildered stare from Maki, one of the servers they've had since opening, boring into the back of your head. She couldn't believe you had the audacity to ring in something like that in the first place, having already warned you about just how quickly Sukuna would appear, now here you were being a smartass about it.
The same finger that held the receipt just a moment ago reached behind the computer, jamming the power button in the middle of your order. You take a deep breath, eyebrows knitted together as you look over you shoulder at the culprit, his eyes already staring deep into yours.
“I need to see you in the kitchen right now.”
His tone left no room for argument as anger began to rise up inside you, your fists clenched at your side as he turned, the swinging door slamming roughly against the wall as he marched back into his domain.
You felt every hair on your body standing on edge as you followed behind him, eyes begrudgingly set on his muscular back, the dark fabric clinging tightly to him. He stops abruptly, slamming his hand onto the expo counter, the stacks of plates around him rattling loudly as silence fell upon the entire kitchen.
“Now, what the fuck kinda order is this?” He seethed through gritted teeth, his jaw clenched as he saw red. It didn't feel like blatant disrespect for him, until you opened your mouth back there.
“I think it's pretty simple. Isn't that all the ingredients that you used in the stroganoff you served last week?” You responded, a hand placed on your hips as your eyebrows raised, your head tilting slightly. You'd been here plenty of times before, arguing with countless line cooks and chefs over just about anything you'd could think of, but there's a few things that haven't changed anytime.
You do your job correctly, and you won't back down. So here the two of you stood, toe to toe, at the beginning of something catastrophic. An absolutely recipe for disaster.
“It was on the menu last week, not tonight, sweetheart. You said it yourself.” His chest heaved as he took a deep breath, trying his best to keep calm. He’d been talked to years ago about his attitude toward the other staff, causing him to often bite his tongue.
You couldn't help but laugh at the nickname, willing to assume he'd already forgotten your name. “And don't you have everything back there to make it still? Did I ring something in wrong? I'd be more than happy to go rering it if you'd like to turn the computer back on.”
You offer a sickeningly sweet smile, batting your lashes a bit as you stare up at the man seething before you. “I'd like you to go back there and make it your-fuckin’-self, honestly. You think it's alright to ring in an order that'll complete fuck up the whole system I've got back there?”
A head full of pink hair and a thick fucking skull, got it. This man was quickly becoming a pain in your side, even with this being your first interaction since his manager had hired you.
“I think a competent chef would be able to work out his own recipe.”
“I think you're fighting too hard for a measly 20% tip.”
“You're must be fucked up if you think I earn that little.”
“You're fucked up if you think I'm making this shit, sweetheart. Now march back out there and tell there and tell your geriatric home to pack it up and eat somewhere else if they don't like the menu.” He barked, all attention on the two of you as both of you continued to raise your volume.
Satoru came running into the kitchen quickly, his nonslip shoes squeaking as he stepped between the two of you, giving his chef a bewildered look.
“Get her the hell outta my kitchen.” Sukuna refused to even acknowledge the mans presence between them, his eyes boring into yours.
“Get your head out of your ass.” You could see his pulse thumping on his neck, a small vein stating to appear on his forehead as his breaths continued to heave from his flared nostrils.
Within seconds, Gojo spins, peering over his glasses, his blue eyes silently pleading with you to help him. You couldn't help but huff at the shithead chef once more before leaving the kitchen, finding the host Yuji, Maki, and a couple other servers waiting near the door.
“You okay?” Maki asked, her tone a bit harsh but her face genuinely concerned as your booming voices could be heard quite clearly in the dining room. You chuckled and shrugged, smoothing your apron a bit as you glanced at the computer screen, still attempting to start back up.
“I'm fine, he's a prick, but I could've guessed that.” You smiled softly as Satoru slipped out of the kitchen, pinching the bridge of his nose in irritation.
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loquarocoeur · 11 hours
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In which occasion do you think Carlie would safe word in yours!verse??
Like I feel if he ever thought he was doing something max might not enjoy or if he thought he was ACTUALLY hurting him he would use his safe word, but I’m curious to see your take on this cause I loved “red yellow green”, and I would love to know what you think would be the situation in which Charlie uses his safe word
Well yeah if he got the feeling something was wrong with Max obviously he'd safeword, but I also think there would probably be times where he just kind of gets in his own head about it and he feels like he's a shit person because he's 'hurting' Max or smth like it's natural for your brain to sometimes be like 'love of my life is crying because of me, logically that's bad and ergo I am a terrible person' and freak out in the middle of things
But also naturally sometimes someone simply isn't in the right state of mind or mood to go through with a scene, like if Max is looking for trouble and Charles can tell, but he doesn't really feel in the right headspace for it he'd just say yellow and tell Max that so they can figure out if they just want to have sex without Charles being mean or just some chill sex without the dom/sub part, or he'd say red and they just do something else entirely and leave the sex for tomorrow
Or there are times where you think you want something and then turns out you don't like it, like maybe Max is into something and Charles would probably use yellow to just say like um, I love you, but it's a no for me
Or sometimes things probably just go too fast and they're stumbling on something new in the middle of things and you feel like it's too much and too fast and you can't do this new thing without talking about it first so you'd use yellow, or if you're like woah panic, you'd use red I guess
And also I think they both have days where they're just absolutely insatiable and their sex drives just do not match up and it's the fifth fucking time today and 'honest to god Max I love you so much but red because my dick is about to fall off, go jerk off by yourself' and it's not even serious, it's just a thing to laugh about really (although I think that one probably happens the other way around more often lol)
Like idk whether I'll actually write more about it or not, but I also feel the need to mention that safewords obviously do have this potential for being a nice thing to base a more serious scene around and explore some heavier emotions, but it also gives them this rep in fic of always being this big, heavy thing when I think sometimes they aren't, like they don't always need to be accompanied by a massive breakdown, they can just be used casually to check if everyone is fine or to stop and do something else without it being the end of the world
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kitsuga · 3 days
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two left feet. {Elliott x Reader/Farmer}
Description: 
A fic in which Elliott has prophetic (?) dreams. 
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Tags: fluff, you ever have prophetic dreams? i do, elliott seems the type to have them too. look at him, reminder i am both blessed and cursed with the possibility of ooc bc mods have been installed in my brain for far too long, reader is referred to as "Farmer"!, not beta'd, not edited, gender neutral reader, stardew valley/sdv x reader/farmer, elliott x reader/farmer, stardew valley/sdv, elliott
Word Count: 2,375
A/N: Written on: February 24, 2023 
I!! Think!! Hes!!! So!!!! Cute!!!! I don’t think I like the ending on this one but to be fair im gonna let it slide and pretend it doesnt exist, why not lKJSFHIUEF 
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It was cold in the stoney area Elliott found himself in; deep below the surface, he thought to himself—damp, cold, and full of unsettling shadows hidden in corners. Small flames lead his way down the makeshift corridor, but he was weary to follow—what would find him at the end of it? With no exit found behind him, he pressed forward. 
The flames started to die out as he walked past, their lives cut short without a second thought—except, he thought about it. Why were they blowing out so suddenly? A chill started to climb up his spine as he made his way down towards what looked like an open area; it was darker than where he had been, only a few dancing flames had sat within the room.  
This room was bad news, Elliott thought to himself. Everything in his body was screaming to run, that there was danger around, but he couldn’t. With his feet planted in place, his eyes darted from flame to flame, straining to see what horrors they would illuminate. The hairs on the back of his neck started to stand on end as sounds started around the room; quiet at first before steadily growing louder, menacing, echoing off the stones. Shadows peeled themselves off the walls, contorting to hideous figures; sharp shrills came from somewhere deeper. The knot in Elliott’s stomach grew tighter, almost causing him to hunch over with fear.  
Creatures he thought he’d never be able to even dream of started to show themselves in the dim lights, just as frightening as they sounded. Horrifying sights, he thought to himself; dripping, oozing, some even rigid and sharp—creatures with faces so frightening he couldn’t fully comprehend what it was his eyes were trying to focus on. They moved with malevolence, each action full of venom; Elliott found himself begging in silence that he kept out of their sights. 
They started to merge together, moving towards something lying on the ground just within the remaining candle’s flames. It was balled up, hardly moving; the figure was... human, Elliott thought. What were they doing there? Were they alright? They needed to get up—needed to get out. The monstrosities grew ever closer, and his anxiety was on the rise; he tried calling out to the person, trying to will the air from his lungs to say something—anything—but nothing was productive. Even if something had come out, his voice would be lost amongst the terrifying noises that echoed among the walls, falling on deaf ears.  
The growing sense of urgency made him jittery as he tried and tried again to call out, but the moment his eyes adjusted and caught a glimpse of just who lay in the monster’s trap, his heart sank to his stomach. 
“Farmer...?” 
Elliott managed to whisper, his voice trembling while their name felt heavy with dread. He tried to move his feet, reach out to them. He tried calling out to them again and again, voice raising and wavering each time. The shadows started to move in, but he could only watch as they swoop in on their prey. With his heart in his throat and lead in his feet, he reached out for the Farmer who lay there unresponsive. 
“Farmer!” He shouted. “Farmer! Get up! Farmer, please!”  
He got desperate, screaming their name now as the shadows pounced at the person he cared about. 
“FARM--” 
“-ER!”  
Elliott woke up with a start, his heartbeat pulsing in his ears, jumping out of his chest and into his throat all at once. His breath was heavy, shaky, and felt as though he couldn’t catch it—his chest rose and fell with pain. Elliott’s clothes stuck to him, drenched in a cold sweat. His mind started running a mile a minute, no coherent thoughts were able to keep up. Was it a dream? It had to have been; he looked around the room and registered that it was his own. Trying to stabilize his breathing, he tried to brush his hair from his face and slowly lay back down.  
It was a dream! It was a dream. It was... a dream. Elliott bolted out of bed, alarmed that it had been a dream. It wasn’t a prophetic one, right? It couldn’t have been. Was it? He shook his head, trying to rid himself of the thought. He was being ridiculous! Surely it was just a nightmare, and he should go back to bed. This is what he tried to soothe himself with as he drew back his blanket and attempted to crawl back into bed. 
But... what if it wasn’t? He jumped out of bed once again and rushed around his room—he should just go check on them! No, he NEEDED to go check on them. He felt around the dark room to grab his jacket from the back of his chair and struggled to put it on in a rush, tripping and falling against the front door as he also attempted to put on his shoes. Outside was quiet—even the waves were drowned out by the sound of his racing heart and his breath trying to catch up as he took off running, struggling to keep his footing in the sand. He ran much faster as his feet hit solid ground, sprinting through the familiar path to their farm. Weaving through paths of hard-earned crops and practically jumping over the rickety, old wooden steps of the porch, his fist pounds at their front door. He continues to knock, and knock, and knock, beating at the old wood so hard he could hear it over the static playing in his ears. 
Are they there? They have to be. It’s the middle of the night; oh, please be there, he thought to himself. Please be safely in your own bed, comfortable and warm—where they should be. He began to knock again before he was cut off, the door in front of him opening slowly to reveal the very person he was so desperate to see; they stood there in their pajama’s, a fist rubbing one eye while the other attempted to blink away the drowsiness and process the need to wake up. They were here, they were safe, they were... adorable. Elliott hunched over, holding his stomach, and let out the heaviest breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.  
“Elliott...? Are you alright?” Farmer asks, voice drenched in sleep. “What’s wrong?” 
It took a few moments of trying to calm down and regulate his breathing before Elliott had stood back upright. He looked at them carefully, taking in every inch of them to ease his mind and soothe his heart, as their body was bathed in the gentle moonlight. 
“...Ahem,” Elliott cleared his throat and attempted to straighten his shirt. “Hello, Farmer.” 
They studied him with half-lidded eyes. Their shoulders hung with sleep still wrapping them like the warm blanket they had left in their bed. After a few moments, and a few hoots from an owl in the distance, they broke the silence of the night once again. 
“Are.... you okay?” 
“Why do you ask?” 
Elliott felt the corners of his lips turn upwards, but not of joy or relief. He was certainly feeling very awkward, now. How in the world was he going to explain this behaviour to them! His smile starts to grow, becoming more and more disconcerting; sweat fell from his brow though his body had certainly had enough time to calm down. He started to clear his throat again, moving to scratch the back of his neck awkwardly, trying to find the words to say. Come on, Elliott! You’re a writer! Certainly, you can think of a story to excuse this behaviour away? He watched as the Farmer looked him up and down, squinting a bit at him before they opened their mouth to speak. 
“Well... you were banging at my door is if your life depended on it... in the middle of the night.” 
“Ah... yeah...” Elliott managed to stammer out. 
“Then, your jacket is inside out--” Elliott promptly looked down to see the inside of his jacket pockets where they certainly should not be. “--and you’re also in your pajamas.” He certainly was. 
“Well, you see...” He started. 
Farmer looked down and stared, causing Elliott to follow suit. He took a look at his feet and felt the heat of a blush creep up the back of his neck the longer the silence drew on between the two of them. The distant hoot of an owl called out again before Farmer stuck their hand out and pointed at his previously mentioned feet. 
“You have two different shoes on.”  
The silence of the night swallowed the two of them whole once again. 
Elliott heaved a heavy sigh and slowly, almost with a shaky hand with how embarrassed he was feeling now, wiped the cold sweat off of his face and spoke through a crooked—and awkward—smile. 
“Ah. So I do.” 
“It’s like you have two left feet.” 
“That is not the same thing, they are simply different shoes—they're meant for the correct feet.” 
Elliott looked up at them through his eyelashes, his embarrassment practically melting away the instant he saw a bright smile on their lips. Of course they tried to make him feel better about it all, it was just who they were; it was something he truly adored about them, after all. Their soft, melodic giggle echoed through the still night, wrapping him with the comfort he had practically begged for just moments ago—it was such a welcomed warmth that he had almost forgotten what it was that had him so worried in the first place; the daunting fact crashed against him like a wave as he remembered and the blush of embarrassment crept up his neck once again. 
“Ahem... Well,” Elliott cleared his throat once again—it was going to be sore by the morning if he kept it up, “you see, there’s this tradition of... waking... people up... frantically... to...” 
Farmer cut him off with an unconvinced look and by gently putting their hand up to motion him to drop the horrible acting. 
“You’re a writer. You couldn’t come up with something better than whatever you were about to give me?” That’s what Elliott had been telling himself, too, only hearing the Farmer say it aloud struck his heart like an arrow. 
“Alright, fine.” He took a large breath, held it, and let it out in a quick meditation. “Believe in what you will, but there are times when dreams may be... prophetic.” 
“...Go on.” 
“It comes in as a sort of déjà vu at times, you see.”  
“Elliott.” 
He threw his hands up into the air as an indication that he had given up trying to beat around the bush. Holding those same hands out to the Farmer, he looked at them with such heavy concern and care in his eyes, he started to tear up. He fought back those very tears as Farmer gently put their hands in his own, instantly, without being prompted. Softly, quietly, as though the night itself would carry his words to the moon and reveal his secrets, he confessed. 
“I had a nightmare—about you.” He started, rubbing his thumbs across the Farmer’s knuckles and keeping eye contact with them. “I... needed to make sure you were alright. I was truly... truly frightened. I thought you had been hurt, or worse—if I had lost you.” 
Elliott leaned in closer to them, his voice now hardly above a whisper. 
“What would I ever do without you?” 
The Farmer looked back at him, their sleep still holding a shade over their eyes, though Elliott could see the gears in their head start to process. It was their turn for their skin to heat up a little, get a little embarrassed, feel a little awkward and lost for words. They opened and closed their mouth a few times, going to say something but changing their mind; finally, they settled on simply giving him a warm, comforting smile, leaving his slight confession for a time when they were more lucid.  
“Thank you, Elliott.” They whispered back. “For caring so much about me; for checking on me. I’m alright, I promise.” 
The Farmer’s smile turned into a larger one, with a little more pep in their step as they turned away from the door frame and faced the dark inside of their house. They held onto one of Elliott’s hands and gestured into the dark with the other, their eyes silently wishing for a certain answer as they looked into his own. 
“Now that you’re here, do you want some tea? You’re free to crash on my couch for the night, since it’s so late. I don’t know what happened in that dream of yours, but... maybe it’ll help you sleep knowing I’m okay.” 
Elliott’s eyes grew wide, but only for a moment, before the relief and thankfulness had smoothed his being. Right. They were okay. They were okay, and that was the best thing he could ask for at this point. They were here, in front of him, in the comfort of the rickety old wooden place they called home—not in some frightening, dark, dangerous cave. They were here—with him—he could feel the warmth of their skin and they gently held his hand and guided him through the door, into the comfort of their home. They were safe, and for that, he was thankful.  
A promise-- he silently made to himself as he watched the hot tea pour into the cup in front of him—to pay closer attention to their safety. A promise to protect what is loved, and a promise to do whatever was needed to keep any prophetic dreams at bay.  
A promise... to think things through a little more instead of panic; he gave a miserable smile as the Farmer started to give a genuine laugh at his two different shoes now that they were a bit more awake to truly appreciate the ridiculousness of his outfit. The sound, however, brought him his much-needed peace.  
Surely, he’d see them in a much better dream this time. 
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lamplightideas · 3 days
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Thoughts on Gravity Falls fandom for no reason
I genuinely love watching the Gravity Falls fandom now. Like I cannot put into words how much the humor there has changed my brain chemistry. I feel bad for my buddy Lucid, because they've had to hear and see all these dumb memes.
I don't ship anyone, I don't really have any of that in mind. I just keep looking at the guys and going "THATS SO ME! Wait, that's probably not good" especially because it's FORD. GET OUT, OLD MAN. And Dipper, who I just like as a character better.
So Stan is for sure my favorite old man. Like every reason points to him being the best in my eyes with my stupid little brain. But Ford is just there. I've drawn Ford a handful of times. And Stan? ZERO. ITS A CRIME AND IM UPSET
Watching y'all fight over stuff is really funny btw keep it up please it entertains the simpletons who don't fully get it like me
The art, god the art is so freaking amazing. I WISH I could draw like you lot, the expression and just. Emotions. Ough. So good, I love it. Another note about the art, I can see little bits of the Gravity Falls style in every fanart. It brings me joy to notice.
This place is cool, I hope my brain lets me fixate on this for a bit.
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doodlejoltik · 25 days
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my favourite writing device is having an un-Rei-liable narrator
#rei#volo#cheren#// tikposting#// character meta#the crowd booes me off the stage#forgive the pun XDDD his name is too easy to pun on#the way i write it it's not a conscious choice. it's just how the pov character (rei) experiences and contextualises the world#revealing backstory and personality and mindset through narration !!!!#not necessarily out of malice it's just. how he views things#interpreting new and foreign experiences through the lens of what came before...#conversations which read differently to different people.#in the context of rei that's stuff like unease around authority figures#always choosing his words carefully to project an image of competence (he has to be needed)#distrust and not taking things at face value but also paradoxically a fragile and nurtured sense of almost blind optimism#when it comes to friendships. like volo. (everyone turned on me when the sky turned red but it all resolved itself in the end didn't it?)#(what makes this different? / a lot of things. / i choose to believe)#volo [directly]: “i won't be stopped from my goal” rei thoughts: we can work with this!!!!#and everything with Arceus too and his divine blessings and a plan that will work out in the end#if Rei can just... figure out what part he's meant to play. interpreting events as a narrative hurtling towards some unknown conclusion#i am talking about rei here specifically but this writing device is so good in general#would be fun to try get inside volo's head. there's so much going on there i don't understand yet#quite fond of that one analysis post about how volo lacks emotional intelligence and sees relationships as transactions#not necessarily out of malice it's just how he views things. whether because of past experience or brain chemistry#also need to give a shout to cheren my guy who is an outsider pov who projects his own experiences onto new things so that he Understands#(an outsider to Hilbert and N's clash of truth and ideals. life changing experience and knowledge but felt just a little off to the left)#(the narrative repeated again with new heroes. all he can do is help them but it falls on their shoulders in the end)#(no wonder he tries to insert himself into Situations)#anyway tag ramble over feel free to also ramble to me about your takes XD#rei pokemon
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cheekblush · 3 months
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took myself on a little shopping trip yesterday in the city where i used to study in hopes of lifting my spirits but by the end of the day i felt so disheartened. wandering the same streets 10 years later and not much has changed. i’m still the same lonely unlovable girl.
#i just wanted to have a good time and not rot in bed for once on my work free weekend but of course my brain can’t let that happen#it was such a lovely day actually the weather was sunny and windy it wasn’t too hot or cold ideal weather to stroll through the city#i had delicious food and found some comfortable clothes but at the end of the day i just felt so empty and worn out#seeing all these couples and friend groups and families and i’m still all by myself after so many years#tbh i’m even lonelier now than i was 10 years ago back then i at least had a few friends#idk what i’m doing with my life tbh.. i just want to be happy but even when i take myself on a cute little date i end up feeling miserable#bc it just hits me how truly lonely i am#i fear i’m incapable of forming any genuine relationships anymore bc i had so many bad experiences that i just stopped trying to connect..#with anyone.. even though i crave community friendship companionship and love i completely shut myself off from the world#i’m not even sure what i’m trying to say with all this.. i wish i knew how to be a person in this world#i wish i could be happy#tbh ever since i got back from my italy vacation i’ve been feeling depressed bc life could be so beautiful if i didn’t have to sacrifice..#almost all of my time for work#the post vacation depression is too real…#realizing you can only spend a very limited time traveling and enjoying yourself bc you have to work most of the time just to afford living#let me stop.. i keep rambling and my thoughts are falling like a waterfall#idk what’s wrong with me… i should have breakfast and put my phone away#sorry to anyone who actually reads all this word vomit#☁️
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Sometimes I see sexuality or gender headcanons about characters and im just like dude im pretty sure they don't know what half those words mean
#random thoughts#'robbie valentino is panromantic demisexual' he looks like a self-described emo kid who would call me slurs in high school#yeah sure MAYBE he's those things but does he have the words for them? absolutely fucking not are you kidding me#and even if he did he would NOT use them. he's like those cishhet girls who make out with other cishet girls when they're drunk#he'd have like one homoerotic penpal througout high school and they're sending each other letters like it's the fucking victorian age#practicing calligraphy and shit (it's just cursive but even more completely illegible)#robbie DOES give off demisexual energy though. he'd just call it having taste#and he would bully people in his school who call themselves that#not like physically but emotionally. mean girl energy.#honestly the gravity falls teen friend group gives off that super emotionally abusive energy#like they talk shit about other people in their school and think they're above everyone else#except thompson he just gets like really quiet and awkward#let's be real robbie had an antagonistic relationship with a fucking twelve year old he's not thinking about gender or sexuality#he'll think about it for like five seconds before going 'that was weird let's go make flamethrowers out of old hairspray cans'#he would make fun of gender non-conforming students to distract people from the fact he's wearing eyeliner#he puts on eyeliner for the first time like 'huh. time to push this to the back of my brain for the next five years'#also robbie dyes his hair. that's canon. unrelated but i think it's funny#gravity falls#his middle name is fucking stacey???
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microwave-core · 8 months
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I'm so god damn disorganized how the hell do I write all of my words crumble to dust someone tell me to finish this I need motivation
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solqrays · 2 months
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just had the horrifying realisation that i might be a gold jewelery person rather than a silver jewelery person . . .
#no because i know technically i shouldve made the realisation a long time ago#because i do have a warm undertone and most indian / brown girlies look absolutely fantastic in gold#like i was raised with pure 24 karat gold around me everywhere#why did i fall to the standards of western society#i always used silver jewelery as a way to rebel against the stereotypes#to show that i was different#because i didnt want to be stereotyped with all the other one billion people of my country#and i used silver jewelery and other alternatives to distance myself away from them#because i didnt live there anymore#and havent for a long time#i so desperately wanted to be different from the one billion other people who live there#and it can be especially hard when your parents compare you to others your age who can flaunt gold easily#so i seeked comfort in silver jewelery and other alternatives#almost as a way to rebel from my parents and the stereotypes foreigners place on my country#its funny how those people who once liked silver now look at gold with envy#while theres me doing the opposite#i found comfort in silver because it helped me figure out who i am#but if silver is my present then gold was my past#and ive been trying so hard to bury gold down#tarnishing the once shiny metal with my words and thoughts#slowly ive been realising that perhaps this isnt the correct way#maybe its as simple as putting on some fake-gold earrings and realising i look better in them#maybe it was just that short moment of thought#but i think that its been brewing in my brain for a long time but i never wanted to let it come to light#because im so afraid of conforming to those negative stereotypes they have of me#but im proud that lately ive been trying to come to peace with my heritage and my past#silver jewelery gave me the space i needed to explore who i am and discover my own identity#but it can never be completely who i am because i was born in gold#ive been trying to come at peace with my heritage and my identity#and i dont think im there yet
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