#but the rest was so bogus i had to literally walk away from the rest of the conversation | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

starshapedkookie · 4 years ago

Text

Falling

↳soulmate (noun): a person who is bound to another through the strongest level of emotional and physical connection. one is given a name on the body upon 18 years of age and any transgressions against the laws of soul-bonding will not occur without harm.

REPOSTED/REWRITTEN FROM OLD BLOG

pairing: jungkook x female reader

word count: 31.4k (sorry guys, another monster lol)

genre: soulmate/destiny au, college au, photographer jungkook, angst, fluff, smut

warnings: smut (protected sex, vanilla, light choking), swearing, angst!!!, fluff (jungkook is head over heels), drinking, mentions of anti-depressants and therapy

recommended songs: falling by harry styles, love again by dua lipa, hold on by chord overstreet, dusk till dawn by zayn & sia, when we were young by lost kings

FALL

The last thing you needed this morning was for your coffee to get knocked out of your hand and crash onto the pavement—but of course, that is exactly what happened.

“Ugh,” you groan loudly, bending down to pick up the plastic cup. You did not have time for this. It wasn’t even your first day of classes yet here you were, making a fool of yourself in front of everyone. You quickly dispose of the plastic in a recyclable can before hurrying off to find your class. You were already going to be late—but you knew you didn’t want to be that kid on the first day coming in hungover and 20 minutes late. So far though, that was going to be exactly you.

You rush into the building of your class before rushing up the stairs to the main auditorium. You glance down at your watch and you roll eyes. 7 minutes late—that’s doable right? You enter the large room and you curse to yourself when it’s quiet and the only words are coming from your professors mouth.

“Class I believe we’ve found our first day straggler,” the professor’s voice erupts in the room through his microphone and you freeze in your spot. Everyone’s eyes are on you and you actually want to crawl into a hole and bury yourself alive. Laughter fills the room and the professor goes back to the syllabus as you find a seat towards the back of the classroom. You sit down by yourself and lean back in the seat. Not only was your head absolutely busting from last night, you also had never felt more embarrassment in your entire life. You pull out your laptop and pull up the uploaded syllabus and try to hide yourself within your t-shirt.

“As humans, we think attraction is spontaneous and comes from here,” your professor pauses and points to his chest where his heart would be, “When in fact, that’s not true. Our brains run complex calculations that decide whom we think is attractive. This is what this course is about. The psychology behind gender, sex, and even the ideals of soulmates are all very much correlated in this course,” your ears drown out his talking once the ’S’ word is mentioned—no, not sex, but soulmate.

Soulmates—self explanatory but usually not discussed out in the open like this. Some people believed in them, others didn’t. Growing up, you had always heard about soulmates and their stories—your parents managing to bring it up at least once a week. It’s said that one will receive a name by 18. At 13, you and your older sister decided that it was all bogus as you had many crushes on boys growing up. You could like someone but that didn’t mean you were soulmates though. Your sister quickly flipped her stance about soulmates when she was 17, you 15, and suddenly a mark showed up on the inside of her finger. Not just any mark—but a name. With the name engraved in her skin like a tattoo and only a few months after that, she had met her match.

You on the other hand remained nameless for the rest of high school. You waited and waited for a name to show up by the age of 18—but it never did. You felt alone and like a glitch. At 19, you decided you weren’t going to sit around and wait for a soulmate. Besides, you were young—since when did you have to find your life partner so soon?

Now at 21, nearing 22, you were still nameless. Did it bother you? You were indifferent. You felt lucky to be able to experience college without being tied down to something serious but now as graduation was coming faster than ever and it seemed like everyone around you was finding their other half—worry did sink into your skin sometimes.

“You,” someone snaps you from your reverie and you think the professor has called you again until you see a two guys sitting two rows back from you, one of them pointing at you.

You point at yourself wondering if he’s got the right girl. As you look around the class, everyone is shuffling around to what seems to be small groups. Had you zoned out that bad? You look back at the two guys and gather your belongings before heading their way.

“Uh, hi?” You say awkwardly as you shuffle towards them.

“Told you she’d come,” one guys nudges the other one with a smirk, “Wanna be in our group?”

“Group?” You look back to the front of the classroom and see a slide displayed “FINAL PROJECT” shining bright. “Yeah, sure whatever,” you sit down beside of the chatty male before he finally introduces himself.

“I’m Namjoon,” he smiles.

“Y/N,” you reply looking at the other guy who has stayed silent this whole interaction.

“This is Jungkook,” Namjoon says and Jungkook looks at you offering a weak smile.

“Hey,” he says simply. Jungkook has pretty eyes, round and doe-like, innocent yet inviting. You catch yourself noticing the ink lining his forearms and knuckles.

You take a seat beside of Namjoon and focus your attention back to the board. Your professor explains each group has a variety of topics to choose from and present to him later at the end of the semester. As much as you weren’t in the mood for much talking, you were thankful this Namjoon and Jungkook guy asked you to be in their group because you’re not sure you would have had the courage to ask anyone else.

Lecture ends with an online syllabus quiz due at the end of the week and you quickly gather your things to leave.

“Um,” you start before you get ready to leave, “here's my number. Just text whenever you want to get started,” you slip the piece of paper to Namjoon. Your eyes meet Jungkook’s again and something stirs deep within your stomach. Namjoon’s voice breaks your gaze.

“Alright, sounds good. Nice to me you.”

“You guys too.” And then you’re off to your next class, hoping you won’t cause as much attention in that one.

“Jesus Christ,” you exhale deeply, lying down on Taehyung’s bed. He eyes you from his desk.

“Rough first day?” He inquires, swirling back and forth in his chair.

“You have no idea Tae,” you groan rolling over to look at him. “I should have known this day would be shit the second I slept through my alarm.”

He gives you a small smile, “At least it’s over now. You got much homework?”

You shake your head, “No thank god.”

“Do you want to grab dinner with Jimin and I then?”

Your stomach growls loudly at the idea of food. You don’t even say anything and you don’t need to. Taehyung gives you a laugh before slipping on his ridiculously ugly fur-lined Gucci mules. You stand up from his bed, straightening out your giant t-shirt and running shorts. Yours and Taehyung’s fashion clashed tremendously, but that’s what made you guys—well you.

You and Taehyung meet Jimin at a Thai place downtown. It’s cheap and delicious and a bowl of pad-thai to sooth your brain after today sounded heavenly. Jimin is standing outside, wearing a put together yet sporty outfit. He smiles when he sees the two of you approaching.

“Hey guys!” Jimin smiles widely, leaning over to give you a tight squeeze. He pulls away and gives Taehyung an even bigger hug, the two of them pecking each other on the lips quickly. You watch the two soulmates in awe. As much as you wanted to believe the soulmate thing was bullshit—these two were living proof that it works. And deep down, it hurts.

The three of you order your food and lean back into your chair across from the two lovers as they converse about their day.

“What about you Y/N? Did you have a good first day?” Jimin asks. He’s got to the be the most considerate person you’ve ever met.

“Are you sure you want to hear her spiel?” Taehyung mutters sarcastically and you poke your tongue out at him.

“It was horrible Jimin,” you pout, “First, I slept through my alarm which I never do, was hungover as sit so I needed some coffee and then I got my iced coffee that was five dollars and then dropped it everywhere—“

“Wait, you were running late and still got coffee?” Jimin raises an eyebrow.

“Yeah?” You say in a duh-like tone. Jimin and Taehyung laugh at your before you continue.

“Then I walked into my first class and the fucking professor had the audacity to call me the first day straggler! How awful is that?!”

“I mean it’s true,” Taehyung grins and you flip him off.

“Not. The. Point,” you offer dramatically, “And then all of a sudden these two guys are calling me over to be in their group for a project and they’re both extremely cute although one talked way too much and one didn’t talk at all—“ “Which one was cuter?” Jimin asks curiously. Taehyung swats at his arm.

“The quiet one,” you admit, “At least to me. And then after that, I went to my last class and that went smoothly. However it started going downhill again when I went and grabbed lunch and I got a salad from East—“ “Oh no,” Jimin groans, “East dining hall? Y/N you know that place is whack.”

“I know that but I was hungry! And then I ate my salad and then while I was driving back to my apartment I literally almost shit myself.”

The three of you begin to laugh at how ridiculous your day actually was.

“I mean what kind of fucking luck is that?!”

“You’ve definitely had better days for sure…” Taehyung says eying you from across the table, “I mean look at that outfit and hair,” he tsks.

“Hey! Fuck you,” you pick up your straw wrapper and throw it at him across from you. He’s laughing just as your food arrives. It looks and even smells better, the three of you immediately digging in.

The three of you continue small chatter amongst yourselves, Jimin and Taehyunf being too cute and in love for their own good. You are in the middle of slurping your noodles when your nearly choke on your food when a new, but familiar face walks into the restaurant. The Jungkook guy from your class. And he’s not alone as a girl who is extremely pretty trails in behind of him.

“What are you looking at?” Taehyung asks and he turns over his shoulder to follow your line of sight. “Who is that cutie?” He then says. Jimin agrees.

“It’s the guy from my class,” you whisper, hoping he doesn’t spot you. “The quiet one,” you specify. Jimin smirks before nudging Taehyung.

“You’re right,” Taehyung says looking back at you. For some reason, despite not knowing anything about Jungkook but his name, you dislike the way the random girl is looking at him. It doesn’t settle well in your stomach.

“Guess he has a soulmate,” you say slightly disappointed staring into your food.

Jimin speaks up, “No he doesn’t.”

You and Taehyung furrow your eyebrows at him.

“Are you guys forgetting soulmates is literally what I’m doing my thesis on? I can spot them when I see them,” he says keeping his voice low, “That’s not his soulmate, trust me.”

“…Right,” you hesitate. You glance back towards Jungkook and his date to find that they have been seated elsewhere in the restaurant. You bite your lip, stirring your noodles around, the weird feeling you felt when you first spotted Jungkook still deep rooted in your stomach. You don’t mention Jungkook again the entire night, only sparing glances around the restaurant to get another look at him. You come up short.

Your first week back at school is nearly over as Friday approaches faster than ever. Thankfully, unlike your first day shambles, the rest of your week went fairly smooth. You’ve managed to get ahead in most of your classes already and you can’t wait for the afternoon nap you’re gifting yourself later today.

Ever since Monday, you have decided to sit beside Namjoon and Jungkook in your psychology lecture now. They were easy to talk to, albeit Jungkook still quite shy, but being with your final project group was convenient. Speaking of Jungkook—he was no where to be seen today.

“Where’s your friend?” You inquire as you sit beside Namjoon. Normally Jungkook is right beside of him as the two of them always get to class earlier than you.

Namjoon shrugs, “I don’t know, he didn’t answer any of my texts this morning.”

You brush it off as your jackass of a professor begins his lecture. Your first official lecture of the semester is on the basis of the human brain and it’s connection to relationships. You nearly roll your eyes out of your head, how fun. Ten or so minutes go back of you typing up notes trying to keep up with him until rummaging disrupts your thoughts.

You glance to your left and spot Jungkook coming in late, his hair underneath a baseball cap, keeping his eyes down as he makes his way over to you and Namjoon. You inwardly wish the professor would call him out on his tardiness but of course, that doesn’t happen. Maybe your professor is a jackass and a sexist?

“Look who is late today,” You whisper as he sits down beside you. His brown eyes give you a glance before nodding to Namjoon.

“Sorry,” he gives you a soft smile, “Today has not been my day,” he briefly explains.

You raise your eyebrows as him, but decide against questioning him.

“I get it,” you respond.

“Hey! You in back,” your professor is suddenly stopping his lecture and pointing his finger towards you. Oh for fucks sake. “If you’re going to talk in my class, don’t bothering coming as I post the lecture slides online afterwards.”

You feel embarrassment taking over your body as Namjoon to your right is snickering at you and Jungkook on your left is sending you an apologetic stare.

Definitely sexist.

The next couple weeks of classes went by in a flash. So far, they were all going well and you liked all your professors—minus Mr. Sexist Jackass for psychology—but other than that, you were having no trouble. You had been able to meet other people and get into study group chats which you knew would help in the next few weeks as your first midterm was quickly approaching.

If there was one thing you were slacking on though, it was your group project for said psychology class. Which is why you texted Namjoon and Jungkook to meet at a coffee place on campus to discuss getting started and what roles you all would take.

“Hey,” Jungkook is the first to arrive and you give him a sweet smile. Within the past two weeks, he had become more open to talking to you and you sensed a blossoming friendship between you and him.

“Hi, how are you?” You ask him as you move your stuff out of the way so he could sit down. He sits across from you, his eyes meeting yours.

“I’m alright,” he says with not much energy taking a gulp from whatever drink he was sipping on. It looked to be an iced americano. “You?”

“Pretty good, although I’m already stressed about exams coming up,” you let your worries slip from you.

Jungkook shakes his head, “I haven’t thought about exams yet,” he says honestly.

You give him a hard stare before saying, “What even is your major? I know Namjoon is pre-med but I don’t think you’ve told me.”

He swallows the rest of his drink, “Sports medicine,” he responds with a straight smile.

“Hm,” you say, “So do you dress up as Sporty Spice for Halloween then?”

He lets out a laugh before nodding, “Yeah, every year.”

You laugh with him and you can’t help but notice how great his smile is. He really is attractive, you can’t deny that.

“Where the fuck is Namjoon?” You groan after your laughter dies out, looking down at your watch.

“Here!” You jump in your seat as Namjoon comes up behind you and you nearly fall out of your seat. Namjoon apologizes quickly about being late before scooting to sit beside you.

“Don’t worry about it,” you shake your head, “So, when do you guys want to start working on our project? I would hate for us to procrastinate and have to cram at the end of the semester.”

Namjoon nods, “I was thinking the same. We need to choose a topic first though… got any ideas?” He takes out a pen and notepad to scribble stuff down. You could tell Namjoon was just as studious as you were… Jungkook on the other hand was definitely more of a “go with the flow” type of student—not necessarily a bad thing though.

“Kook, any ideas?” Namjoon asks and Jungkook shrugs before throwing out there—

“Sex,” He says and you snicker at his suggestion. “What? That’s all the professor talks about, might as well give him something he’s interested in…” Jungkook retaliates.

You glance at Namjoon and he rolls his eyes.

“I get what you’re saying Kook but I think we should be more specific than that,” Namjoon deadpans and you nod agreeing with him. “Y/N?”

“Mmmm,” you hum, “Maybe we could do research on how sex differs between different people?”

Namjoon nods slowly, looking over at Jungkook quickly, “What if looked at how sex affects the body when it comes to soulmates?”

You throat goes dry at Namjoon’s suggestion and you have to compose yourself so you won’t give yourself away. You look over at Jungkook who looks just as uncomfortable as you do and it makes you furrow your eyebrows. Maybe Jimin’s sixth sense was right?

“I mean is there even research for that?” You look at him, your question somewhat patronizing.

“Oh yeah,” he says matter-of-factly, “There’s lots of research on how the body responds when people are intimate with people that aren’t their soulmates.”

You glance at Jungkook again whose eyes are dancing around the room and you’re not even sure he’s tuned into the conversation anymore.

“What do you think Jungkook?” You ask him.

“Sure,” he says, “Whatever will get us the grade.”

“Alright then, let’s meet up again next week after we each do some research,” Namjoon smiles before gathering his things up, “I hate to bounce like this but my tutoring shift starts in ten minutes and those freshman are so gullible I can make twice as much money off of them,” he says before waving you two off, leaving you and Jungkook alone.

“Does he really scam freshman?” You ask, somewhat horrified at his statement. Jungkook lets out a laugh, visibly a lot more comfortable now that the previous conversation has passed.

“Only when then they’re dumb enough,” he responds before he begins to gather his things too, “See in you class?”

You nod once, noticing what seems to be a silver Rolex covering his left wrist. Who the hell has a Rolex in college?

“See you in class.”

. “Well, well look who the cat dragged in?” Jimin smiles at you from behind the bar. Yeah—not only was Jimin currently getting his master’s in psychology, he also bartended on the weekends at one of your local bars.

You give him a smile as Taehyung isn’t far behind you, putting his head on your shoulder to look up at the menu.

“Hi babe,” Jimin smiles and Taehyung returns one, wrapping his arms around your front.

“Hi,” he smiles, visibly much more drunk than you were. “I’m pretending she’s you so don’t get jealous okay?” He slurs.

“Hey!” You fight back looking at Taehyung, “Crazy how people change after you ‘fall in love’,” you air quote yourself with sarcasm.

Taehyung laughs in your ear, “You should try it sometime babe,” under normal circumstances, you would have felt very offended at his remark because he knows your situation but with alcohol running through your veins—you let it slide.

“Can I have two green tea shots?” You ask Jimin and he nods quickly.

“Make it four,” Taehyung orders and Jimin laughs before nodding, heading off to make your shots.

Taehyung finally lets go of your middle and you both settle to lean on the bar whilst your drinks are being made.

“How was your week babe?” Taehyung asks, “Better I presume? You look hot so I’m assuming all is well?” He raises an eyebrow at you.

You gives him a smile, glancing down at your outfit. Your mini-wrap skirt and skin tight tank top was as basic as it could get, but it made you look and feel good about yourself.

“Good as it gets Tae,” you say flinging your hair behind your shoulder. On a scale 1 to 10 of drunkeness, you were probably a good 5 but you knew once Jimin was finished with your shots, you would be closer to a 7 or 8.

“I know I’m going to sound fucking crazy right now but it’s kind of just registering what I said to you about falling in love and I did not mean it like that—“ “Taehyung it’s fine,” you shake your head, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“No,” he shakes his head, “It’s not… I’m sorry I’m just really drunk right now,” he groans almost painfully.

“I know,” you smile at him before noticing Jimin has come back with your shots. “And you’re about to be even more drunk so whatever you say, apologize for it now.”

He looks up at the ceiling closing his eyes, “I’m sorry to whoever for the dumb shit I will say the rest of the evening, amen.”

“He’s religious now?” Jimin asks scooting the glasses over to you two.

“Apparently,” you eye him before taking a glass for you and handing one to Taehyung.

“To… senior year!” Taehyung says loudly over the music and you nod, clinking your glasses together.

“To senior year!” You say before downing the shot in its entirety. “Oh my god Jimin,” you groan, “I will never forgive you for getting me on these.”

“What can I say? If you’re gonna drink might as well enjoy it,” is the last thing he says before checking on another customer beside you and Taehyung.

“Oh god,” Taehyung says after downing his shot, looking over your shoulder.

“What?” You ask him, getting ready to down your second one.

“It’s the quiet one, the cute one,” Taehyung’s words confuse you until you begin to piece them together. Quiet… cute… Jungkook.

You take a glance over your shoulder and you nearly jump out of your skin when you see Jungkook looking right back at you. He gives you a small wave and smile and you do the same. He looks really good—blue jeans a t-shirt with his lovely ink being show. What intrigues you the most though is a 35mm camera hanging around his neck. You don’t recognize any of the people he is with before you turn back around, feeling your cheeks heat up even though no one could see it.

“Jungkook,” you say to Taehyung, “That’s his name.”

As much as you wished Taehyung would stop staring in his direction, you knew he was drunk and fighting him on it wouldn’t get you anywhere.

“Well, I think Jungkook,” Taehyung grabs his second shot, “Is hot as fuck and you should totally make a move,” Taehyung finally looks back at you and downs his liquor without waiting on you. You follow suit, the shot slivering down your throat.

“No,” you shake your head, “I don’t think he’s into me, plus I don’t even know if he has a partner or not.”

“You heard what Jimin said a couple weeks ago,” he retorts.

“How does Jimin know he’s right? I mean it’s not like we as humans have a fucking ‘yeah I have a soulmate’ scent to us like were goddamn dogs or something. I mean as much as I would totally make a move on him, I just don’t think I can do—“

“Uh, Y/N,” Taehyung nudges you from your rant.

“What?” You return harshly. A small smirk rises on his face before he points beside of you. You look to your left and your eyes widen when you see Jungkook coming up behind of you.

“J-Jungkook,” you manage to get out, “Hi.”

He approaches you and Taehyung with a warm smile, “Hey Y/N.” His eyes move to Taehyung and you clear your throat to introduce them.

“Jungkook this is Taehyung, Taehyung… Jungkook,” you smile between the two handsome men.

“Nice you to meet you,” Taehyung smiles widely and Jungkook nods.

“What are you doing out tonight?” You ask Jungkook and he steps closer to you as someone pushes past him.

“Trying to relieve some stress,” he answers with a laugh, “Can I get you a drink?” He scratches the back of his head, glancing over at Taehyung again.

“Oh, are you sure?” You ask him before he nods again. You give him a smile, “Alright, whatever you’re having I’ll have.”

“Jimin!” You yell over the music to get his attention. He stops drying a glass and immediately comes to you, his eyes falling on the companion behind of you.

“Can I get two Michelob's?” Jungkook says and you can feel his chest pressing into your back as the overwhelming amount of people pushing and pulling in the bar.

Jimin nods before quickly going into the cooler, popping the tops from the bottle and sliding them over to you.

“Thanks,” you both say grabbing them.

“Thank you,” you turn around to Jungkook and in this position, you underestimated how close you actually are to him. Chest to chest and his head towers over as he looks down at you with a smile.

“No problem,” he says, “Do you wanna go outside? Get some air and more space?”

It’s like he read your mind. “Yeah, sure.”

You tap Taehyung on the shoulder to get his attention from Jimin.

“I’m going outside, I’ll text you if I can’t find you again.”

He nods slowly, “I’ll be right here babe,” he sends you a wink before turning back around.

Jungkook’s eyes lay on Taehyung’s back a little longer than you would like. What’s he thinking right now? Without any warning, Jungkook grabs your hand gently and starts pulling you away from the crowded bar. You aren’t exactly sober right now and you can only hope that your hand isn’t sweating as much as you think it is. Jungkook leads you out to the deck that’s also crowded and loud, but leaves a lot more room to breathe.

You lean against the railing and Jungkook does the same across from you, just mere inches separating the two of you.

“Are you here with just Taehyung?” He asks you taking a sip of his beer. You follow suit. Thank god he ordered Michelob—a man with taste.

You nod, “Yeah… he wanted to go out more than I did but, here we are,” you try to make a joke at your drunkeness but fail miserably. Jungkook gives you a short lived smile.

“So… are you two like, together?” Jungkook says his words slowly, not wanting to say or imply the wrong thing. Your eyes nearly pop out of your head after he asks his question.

You start to laugh, having to cover your mouth so you don’t cackle loud enough to draw attention. Jungkook looks confused before you say—

“Taehyung’s gay,” you explain after your laughter dies down, “His partner is the bartender Jimin.”

Jungkook’s face falls and his doe eyes bulge out of his head. “Holy shit I didn’t know, I didn’t mean—“

“Jungkook it’s fine,” you wave him off, “You’re not the first person to ever ask if Tae and I are a thing. As much as I wish the universe was that nice to me to give me a man like Taehyung but no,” you smile although deep down it does hurt. You grew up with Taehyung hoping he would be your soulmate and when Jimin’s name appeared on the inside of his pinky, that dream bursted real fast.

“What about you?” You ask him. Now’s your chance. It’s got to be the alcohol that’s making this conversation easy as cake because normally, talk of this nature would not be spoken in public with this many people around.

Jungkook rolls his tongue in his cheek and you swear your heart skips a beat. He starts to shake his head, “No I just got out of a relationship.”

“Oh,” your face falls. So was he with a girlfriend at dinner a few weeks back?

“Yeah I guess the universe hates me too,” he says nonchalantly and the air suddenly feels thick with tension. So he didn’t have a soulmate? Nor did you? What were the odds?

“I hate to sound weird or creepy but,” you pause, unsure if you wanted to ask but internally you say fuck it. “I saw you a few weeks ago at the Thai place downtown with a girl, so that’s why I asked.”

Jungkook’s eyes are hard to read as he gulps his beer. You’re not sure he’s that drunk but if he is, he’s great at hiding it.

“Yeah… that was her,” he nods, “But like I said the universe is cruel and decide to give her a name after a couple months of dating,” he scoffs and almost seems angry—which I guess he has a right to be.

“Oh shit,” you mumble, “I’m sorry,” you offer.

He shakes his head, “It’s fine, what can I do about it now you know?”

You nod slowly, “Look forward to the future? Who knows what might happen.”

“You’re right,” he smiles tenderly, “To the future?” He raises his bottle.

“To the future,” you smile clinking the glass together.

“So who are you here with?” You ask him.

“Just my roommates, Yugyeom and Mingyu,” he explains while licking his lips and your heart skips a beat again.

“You don’t strike me as the type that gets out much you know,” you push a finger into his chest, narrowing your eyesight. 1 to 10 on the drunk scale? An 8 or 9 at the moment.

“Why’s that?” He amuses.

“Jeon, you barely spoke to me the first two weeks of class. I thought you were fucking mute.”

He suddenly steps closer to you and it forces you to drop your finger.

“I’m shy okay?” He says with a pout. “I’m good now though? Right?” You swear his eyes are like a damn puppy dog looking at you like that. Your throat goes dry before you nod.

“For the most part I guess,” you offer weakly batting your eyelashes at him. You glance down his body quickly and notice the way his light blue jeans hug his tiny waist and thick thighs deliciously. Jesus fucking Christ.

“What this all about?” you point to his camera that’s dangling between his pecs. You needed to get your mind back to PG and fast.

He smiles lightly, “My hobby,” he says simply, “I like to take pictures for memories sake.”

“Memories sake,” you repeat, “So do you take it with you everywhere then?”

“Only if I think something interesting might happen that needs to be captured,” he shrugs. God he was so attractive and the longer you stared at him, the faster you were falling down a hole.

“What have you captured tonight then?”

“Nothing much really,” he glances down your front quickly and he thinks you don’t notice until you smirk at him.

“Take a picture of me,” you tilt your head with a smile, “I’m a treasure that should be captured, don’t ya think?” the alcohol was getting to you bad. When Jungkook laughs at you, you swear you saw two faces and you knew you needed to sober the fuck up.

“Alright, fine,” he says, stepping away from you to adjust his lens for the lighting. You lean onto the railing with you elbow, giving him a smile when you look towards his camera. He snaps the picture twice and the flash momentarily blinds you. He looks back at his view finder and you step to him to see it.

“See, a treasure,” you say.

He nods slowly before looking down at you, “Definitely.”

You feel yourself stepping closer to him, leaning up to get a full view of his face. You bite your lip as he leans down, your noses brushing together before you step back.

“Wait… so you don’t have a soulmate?” You keep your voice low and hesitant.

He shakes his head, “No,” he says, “See.” He shows his wrists and in between his fingers and nothing. You do the same for him, moving your bracelets and watch back. He gives you a small smirk before leaning down to close the gap between the two of you. You inhale his clean scent as you push up on your toes to deepen the kiss. With your hand that isn’t occupied you bring it to the side of his face to caress his skin. His lips are so fucking soft and you whine as he pulls away.

“I would ask you to go home with me but I think you’re too drunk,” he says honestly and you furrow your eyebrows at him with a sad pout.

“Hey I’m fine,” you defend yourself.

“I just don’t want you to think I’m that type of guy,” he says, “I’m pretty far from that.”

His words are sweet and considerate and you’re not sure any guy you have met that would be in this position to not jump straight into your pants. As much as you wouldn’t mind Jungkook to do that—you could see where he was coming from. Besides, you were really drunk and really tired so you probably wouldn’t even get off which would defeat the purpose of getting laid.

“Jungkook I know, I can see that,” you tell him before you bite your lip again, “But I am a great cuddlier if that has any weight?”

A large smile falls on his lips and his nose scrunches up from giggling. “Alright, you’re the big spoon though,” he deadpans.

You roll your eyes, “We’ll see about that.” Jungkook smirks before grabbing your hand for both of you to close out your tabs and head to his place.

You wake up the next morning in an unfamiliar, but quite comfortable bed. You blink your eyes slowly to let light in and you stretch your feet our from your fetal position. Once your vision focuses you see that you’re alone underneath a grey duvet and you nearly freak out until you quickly remember your previous evening.

You had got to Jungkook’s place around 12:30 AM and aside from light making out, nothing extreme happened between you two as Jungkook insisted on being sober before going there. He obviously lost the argument about who was going to be the big and little spoon as you both fell asleep comfortably with his arms around your front. Speaking of—where was he?

You push the covers from your body and see you’re dressed in an oversized t-shirt, your clothes neatly folded on his dresser. You memory is slightly fuzzy, unsure if you changed your clothes yourself or if Jungkook dressed you. Heat rushes to you face at the thought. Damn, you hoped you hadn’t seemed desperate but when you were drunk—that tended to happen. Although not as much anymore as random hookups slowed down the older you got as most people were linking up with their destined lovers.

Fuck—you think, you had nearly forgotten perhaps the biggest detail of last night. Jungkook didn’t have a soulmate. The thought made you giddy on the inside. Maybe he was just as fucked up as you were.

You’re about to leave Jungkook’s room until he suddenly appears in the doorway.

“Oh, hey I was just coming to see if you were up,” he gives you a soft smile and you have to scramble your eyes away from his heavily built chest and torso. You find that he has tattoos all the way up his knuckles to his shoulder. Fuck.

“I just woke up,” you mumble stepping towards the door.

“I made some breakfast,” he says reaching towards your hand gently, “I have some medicine too if you’re hungover.”

You smile at him as he pulls you to him to walk you down the short hallway to his kitchen. It smelt of bacon, eggs, and toast—just what you needed.

“Thanks,” you say gratefully as you take a seat on one of his barstools. He slides a plate over to you as well as a bottle of Advil. “You already ate?” You ask him as you begin to dive into the food that will surely settle your rumbling stomach.

“Sorry,” he laughs, “I woke up awhile ago and went for a run so I had to eat.”

You swat your hand not caring, “It’s fine—wait, what time is it?” Your eyes bulge.

He looks at his silver watch, “Almost noon,” he says, his eyes not looking at tired as he probably is.

“Noon?!” You say with a mouthful of bread, “What the hell I never this sleep this late…” you say after swallowing.

“You drank a lot last night Y/N,” he laughs at you and you give him your middle finger. He rests on his hands across from you in the kitchen and you can’t help but notice the veins in his arms. Was the universe really being this good to you? After all this time, giving you access to someone who is this fine and who doesn’t have a partner? You almost couldn’t believe it.

“Sorry if I was annoying, or needy, or anything like that,” you say somewhat embarrassed that Jungkook had to deal with you even though neither of you know each other that well.

His eyes soften, “It’s fine. You were funny.”

You’ve devoured your plate of food and you hop down from the barstool to clean your plate. Since he cooked, the least you could was put away your mess.

“Oh I’m hilarious,” you give him a snide look before you bump him with your hip to scoot him over so you can wash your plate. He obliges whilst watching your every move. Jungkook seeing you in one of his favorite t-shirts is driving him delirious.

“But seriously though,” your voice cuts his inappropriate train of thought, “If I said anything incriminating, don’t tell anyone,” you give him a side look as you dry your plate. Jungkook laughs before a smirk appears on his face.

“I quite enjoyed your rambling,” he steps closer to you as you turn to look up at him. “It was very… what’s the word… suggestive,” he looks off as if he’s running deep thoughts.

You roll your eyes—yup, definitely horny and needy words were said. Feeling somewhat brave—maybe it was because you weren’t really hungover and the fact that Jungkook is standing there like that in front of you—you step towards him so your chests are touching.

“Maybe you should remind me what I said one day then?” You whisper only so he can hear. He chuckles through his nose before placing one of his hands on your back to pull you flush against him.

“Why not right now?” He says, his nose dipping to touch yours. His eyes are soft but carry a darkness to them you can’t quite read. You give him a small nod before you move your head to place your lips on his. Your mouths mold together like putty slowly before he slips his tongue into your mouth to tease you.

You pull away quickly, “Wait, don’t you have roommates?” You whisper again looking around the quiet apartment. You noticed how clean it was to be housed by 3 men in their early twenties.

“They’re asleep,” he says, caressing your lower back, his hand begging to go to your ass but he restrains himself. “So you’ll have to be quiet, unlike last night,” he raises an eyebrow at you.

“Challenge accepted,” you grab his face to pull him back down to you to connect your lips once more.

His hands grapple your waist desperately to pull you flush against him. He smells like laundry and cotton, the scent driving you mad. As Jungkook realizes that the two of you are still in his kitchen and Yugyeom or Mingyu could easily come out of their rooms any moment, he pulls away from you and you follow him back into his room. He wastes no time shutting his door and pushing you against it.

You felt yourself growing dizzier by the second as he continued to kiss you with a gentle force that you’ve never experienced before. He was probably the best kisser you’ve ever kissed. You could tell he wanted to touch you and you wanted him to touch you so you began to trace your hands up his sculpted back and pushing your hips out towards him.

Jungkook now having your permission, one of his hands trail up your thigh to push his t-shirt away from your backside, his large hand massaging the skin carefully and calculated. Suddenly you found his lips on your neck as he pushes your body further into his door.

“Jungkook,” you groaned quietly as he nipped at the sensitive skin. He pulls your thigh up against his leg and you nearly let out a moan when you feel his hardening cock press into your center.

“Fuck,” you breathe out as you let out an experimental roll of your hips against his. Jungkook pulls back with a short chuckle before kissing your lips gently again.

“Quiet,” he laughs again and you push his chest away from yours to get him to sit on the edge of his bed. You crawl onto his lap, straddling his tiny waist and thick thighs. You continued to kiss like no tomorrow before you placed your palm over his center.

“Shit,” he groans into your mouth as you palm him slowly and torturously. “Y/N, wait, are you sure?”

You pull your hand back and stare down at him with hazy eyes. You nod frantically, “Yes, are you?”

“God yes,” he breathes out and in one smooth motion, he flips you two over with him standing in between your legs. He begins to take his shirt from your body and you happily help him and his eyes immediately go to your breasts, your nipples taut for him.

He kisses you again before kissing down your neck and then down over your boobs, his tongue swirling and his teeth nipping at all the right places. Jungkook finds himself on his knees, right in front of where you need each other most. He spreads your legs a little more before he goes right in to kiss your center over your underwear. Your head falls back as you rest on your hands watching him bite his lip in excitement. You’d never had a guy go down on your the first hookup—you thought you could be in love right now.

His brown eyes glance at you briefly before you nod for him to make sure what he was going was okay. He fingers pull at your underwear and you lift your hips to help him drag the material down your legs. He grabs your hips and pulls your towards him, his mouth going straight to work on you.

You shut your eyes at the feeling unable to keep them open as he laps up and down your slit. He kisses you with hunger and when he finds your clit, the moan that escapes your mouth is loud and embarrassing.

“Oh god, Jungkook,” he smirks against your pussy before continuing to lap at your sensitive bud, his fingers now teasing your entrance.

He slips in one finger, pumping it slowly before entering a second—stretching you just how you need. You fall back on your elbows and your toes curl when you feel an orgasm close approaching.

“Fuck, fuck,” your hips raise as he focuses on your clit, his eyes never leaving your face. He can tell you’re about to come and he’d be damned if he didn’t bring you there. Two more kitten licks send you over the edge and you climax hard having to bite your lip so you don’t make much noise.

Jungkook licks his lips as he comes back to you to kiss you. You welcome him with open arms and you pull him on top of you. You needed him now and the issue in his pants showed he wanted you just as much. You help him push down his sweats and boxers and when you first get sight of his dick, your mouth nearly drops. Okay—the universe was definitely helping you out right now.

You reach down between you, wrapping your hands around his girth to fully harden him. He sucks in a deep breath when you pull and tug at his sensitive skin. You take his pre cum on your thumb and rub it around to make the slip easier. His forehead falls against your shoulder as you continue to jerk him off. His breathing increases as each pull comes from your hand and he’ quickly pushing your hand away.

“I wanna be inside you baby,” he says and it sends a shockwave through your core.

Jungkook finds a condom from his side table and rolls it on quickly. He positions himself between you, his nose brushing against yours as he pecks your lips.

“Ready?” He asks you as he guides his tip into you. Both of your mouths fall agape, a small whine coming from Jungkook’s throat as he pushes deeper into you. “Fuck—Y/N, you’re so tight.”

You lift your hips to help him get as deep as possible and when he bottoms out, you’re unsure if you’ve ever felt this full your entire life. His forehead falls against your shoulder once more and he kisses your exposed skin gently as he starts to slowly thrust in and out of you.

He feels more than amazing and your whole body feels on fire.

“Jungkook,” you breathe out as you wrap your legs around his back, “Faster, please.” You don’t care about sounding desperate.

He sits up on his elbows and obeys, snapping his hips against you harder and quicker. You hold onto his cheeks, your fingertips pulling at his hair and neither of you can be quiet now.

“Shit,” he marvels at the way he disappears inside of you, your cunt squeezing around him so he won’t leave.

“Jungkook—ah,” he hits your deepest spot in you and he sticks his thumb in your mouth to bite down on to shut you up. His other fingers grip the side of your neck and you feel like you could pass out from his ministrations.

“I’m not gonna last much longer,” he whispers in your ear and you nod pulling his face down to you, snapping your hips to meet up with his. You found yourself clenching around his cock as Jungkook’s breaths get shakier and shakier. “Fuck Y/N.”

“Don’t stop,” you managed to get out as he hammered you into his mattress, hitting your g-spot perfectly—another orgasm quickly coming into your system. Jungkook’s face was contorted and tortured as he chased his high deep inside of you. “Come on Jungkook,” you whisper beside his ear and he lifts his head up, crashing his lips onto yours.

Between your desperate attempts to be quiet and Jungkook’s relentless pace, you come again around his cock fast and hard, pulsating around him in spurts.

“Ah—fuck,” Jungkook’s hips ram into yours deeply as he finally finds his release. He collapses on top of your frame, his elbows the only thing holding him up. He pulls himself out of you a moment later, but he doesn’t move his body from above you.

Both of you are breathing heavy, it being the only sound radiating in the room. You caress the right side of his face, pushing his bangs away from his forehead. He leans into your touch with a small smile before kissing your wrist gently. He then rolls his body from yours, discarding of his condom quickly.

You both turn to each other as Jungkook throws an arm lazily around your waist.

“Are you even real?” His deep voice suddenly says with his eyes closed. You give him a sheepish smile as he opens his eyes.

“The universe is fucking funny huh?” You say and Jungkook laughs deep within his chest.

“Very funny,” he mumbles before watching your face intently.

“Now what?” You ask obliviously. Sure, you had your hookups on and off before but with Jungkook—something felt different—in a good way. Like he wasn’t supposed to be a hookup—but something more.

He shrugs, “Whatever you wanna be.”

You bite your lip hesitating before saying, “I know you just got out of a relationship so I don’t want you to feel rushed or anything.”

“It’s fine Y/N,” he gives you a small smile, “I’m fine with whatever you’re fine with. As long as you don’t break my heart.”

You laugh, swatting at his chest playfully, “You mean as long as you don’t break my heart.”

He smirks, “Deal.”

You meet with Namjoon and Jungkook the following week to begin working on your project. You three decided on meeting in the library after all of your classes were over for the day to keep it convenient. You and Jungkook finished around the same time and ended up grabbing some food before heading out to the library. It had not been that long since you and Jungkook hooked up and you two began to text and Snapchat each other everyday. Your friendship with Jungkook hadn’t changed in any way as you two didn’t officially have a label yet, but now one look at him sent you weak to the knees.

“You guys seriously couldn’t wait for me to get food?!” Namjoon shows up on the second floor of the library around 6:25 PM. You and Jungkook laugh at him as he sits down. He looks exhausted.

“Rough day?” You ask him as he sits down from across from you and Jungkook.

He lets out a deep sigh, “Have you ever amputated a finger before?”

You and Jungkook give each other an odd glance before scrunching your nose, “No, what the fuck?” Jungkook mutters.

Namjoon gives you a straight smile, “Well how about 4 fingers? That was my day summed up and I still think I’m queasy,” he shakes his head slowly.

You furrow your eyebrows at him, “Joon, don’t you wanna be a doctor?”

“Family medicine, not surgery or anything gross like that,” he explains and that makes much more sense—though I’m sure Namjoon knows medical school has a lot more than family medicine waiting for him.

“Gotcha,” you pull up the documents you have saved for your research on your computer. Under the table, Jungkook nudges your knee with his and you have to fight the urge to smile.

Namjoon watches, the two of you oblivious.

“You look happy,” he says. Jungkook looks up from his phone and you from your screen.

“Who?” You and Jungkook same at the same time.

Namjoon narrows his eyes, “Both of you… strange,” he licks his lips pondering on his words.

You glance at Jungkook before turning back to your screen, not wanting to be caught in his stare.

“Am I not allowed to be in a good mood?” Jungkook laughs sarcastically.

You bite your lip trying to suppress your smile. Sure, you and Jungkook had hooked up once or twice now and you two were slowly getting to know each other more everyday—but you swore the butterflies in your stomach told you something was special about him.

“I mean, you’re just always so quiet… and—hey why are you laughing?” Namjoon looks at you with a serious expression.

“I’m not laughing,” you say, biting the inside of your cheek.

“Yeah Y/N, quit laughing,” Jungkook says, nudging your leg under the table again.

“God I’m gonna get queasy again,” Namjoon’s face contorts, his eyes darting between the two of you, “Since when do you two flirt with each other? In front of me?”

Once again, you keep your eyes away from Jungkook, “We’re not flirting,” you say monotonously.

Namjoon looks at Jungkook since you refuse to meet anyone’s gaze. Namjoon raises his eyebrows at his friend curiously, an unspoken language going between them. Jungkook smirks before giving you one last glance before he says—

“Y/N and I hooked up.”

Your eyes widen instantly at Jungkook’s words and you whip your head to turn towards him.

“Jungkook what the fuck! I thought we weren’t gonna tell anyone!” Your words give away to Namjoon that Jungkook wasn’t bluffing.

Jungkook’s eyes soften looking at you, “Come on, his crazy ass was onto us anyways,” he motions towards Namjoon.

“Yeah, uh huh. I knew something was off when Jungkook’s ears kept going red every time he looked at you,” Namjoon slowly starts to smile, “How disgusting is that.”

You flip him off, “Well, don’t tell anyone.”

“So,” Namjoon pauses, “You guys aren’t…?” He trails his question off and both of you know what he wants to say. Soulmates.

Slowly, you both shake your head. Namjoon is slightly confused himself. Normally by 18 years old people have their other half assigned to them—him included. His partner’s name appeared on the inside of his palm when he was 15. But you and Jungkook were almost 22?

“Do you guys have one? That you just haven’t met yet?” Namjoon keeps his question low.

Again, you both shake your heads. Wow, Namjoon thinks. An idea suddenly pops into his head.

“Wait so—I have an idea,” Namjoon’s eyes light up.

“Oh god,” Jungkook mumbles.

“So if you guys don’t have partners and you two keep… doing it,” he pauses with a laugh, “Couldn’t we use your experience in our project?”

It takes a few moments for Namjoon’s words to register as your mouth falls agape. Jungkook pinches the bridge of his nose, unsure if he heard Namjoon correctly.

“Hyung, didn’t you just hear her say not to tell anyone?” Jungkook deadpans.

“I mean we don’t have to specify names,” Namjoon quickly elaborates, “I mean you guys did some research right? You’ve read all the horrible stuff that happens to people who go against nature.”

Yeah, you did read about that stuff and it absolutely terrified you. But even after hooking up with Jungkook and other suitors in your life—nothing bad had happened to you, so if anything, this research exists to only frighten people.

“Namjoon, I get what you’re saying but—I don’t know, we might not even hook up again,” you laugh waving your hand off.

“Wait, why not?” Jungkook’s voice suddenly goes to a higher pitch, his eyes looking at you quickly. Namjoon chuckles at the exchange. Namjoon had known Jungkook a long time and he’s never seen him want this much validation from a female—ever.

“I mean,” you pause looking at the dark haired boy beside you, “I didn’t know if—“

“Yeah yeah, work out this shit later,” Namjoon interrupts, “But I don’t know, just something to keep in mind over the rest of the semester.”

With that, the conversation ended and the three of you managed to begin typing up your report. Occasionally, you would bump Jungkook’s knee here and there just to see his reaction. He would smile although not sparing a glance at you. By the end of your study session, all three of you got a good start on the project and Jungkook’s hand rested on your thigh the whole night and you knew it didn’t belong anywhere else.

Weeks later, yours and Jungkook’s relationship became slightly more complicated. While you two managed to stay cordial in class and hide whatever the hell was going on between you two—once you two were alone, all bets were fucking off. Jungkook would come to your place or you would go to his when his roommates were out and he would fuck you into the mattress until you were nearly screaming. It was good—he was good—and quickly you felt yourself starting to catch feelings for him. You knew that was dangerous territory considering a name might pop up on your body any day, so as hard as it was, you repressed your feelings for him. You were unsure of how Jungkook felt. As better as he was at talking now and he did trust you, he wasn’t one for deep talk unless he had a few glasses of wine in his system. You were fine with that though, knowing it was probably for the better.

You had thought everything was going good—Jungkook, classes, exams, your project, keeping up with Taehyung and Jimin—until it all came crashing down one afternoon at your apartment.

It was a Friday afternoon and you had invited Jungkook over to… well… get your brains fucked out. You like to think you are a smart girl but today, you were being a grade ass dumbass because you had completely forgotten about your lunch date with Taehyung and Jimin.

Normally, Taehyung wouldn’t have cared if you had missed one day with him but as your best friend of years and years—he noticed something had been off with you lately. Slightly more… flakey than normal. Jimin noticed it too. So when Taehyung found himself outside of your apartment that Friday afternoon, what he saw—shook him to his core.

You and Jungkook had just gotten out of the shower after going at it like bunnies for a good hour. He couldn’t keep his hands off of you, placing his lips around yours and down your neck, leaving barely there marks behind of your ears.

“Jungkook—stop,” you push his bare chest away as you heard someone knocking on your door. He gives you a shit-eating grin, staying back in the hallway as you go to the door, holding the towel up around your body tight.

You open the door and your face fell instantly. Fuck.

“Taehyung? Jimin?” Your voice shakes, “W-what are you doing here?”

Without any warning Taehyung and Jimin step into your apartment and you begin to panic.

“What the hell Y/N, you’ve bailed on us without explanation three times now!” Taehyung says dramatically, “I mean damn I know Jimin and I are disgusting sometimes but the least you can do is give a heads—what’s that?” Taehyung’s eyes land on your neck and you step away from him, holding your towel closer to you.

“N-nothing,” you stutter. “I’m s-sorry I forgot about lunch, I’ve been really busy lately,” your excuse is lame, but you have nothing else.

“Busy?” Taehyung says eyeing you up and down, “I can see that.”

“Y/N hey where is—“ your eyes roll into the back of your head as Jungkook enters your living room at just the wrong time. No, he didn’t know it was Taehyung and Jimin, but it still doesn’t make you happy. Especially since he’s just wearing sweatpants, his hair wet like yours, compromising your secret.

“Whoa,” Jimin suddenly laughs looking at the scene. “This the quiet one?” He points over at Jungkook. Jungkook pouts—what are they talking about?—he thinks to himself.

“Holy shit Y/N what are you doing?” Taehyung doesn’t seem as enthusiastic. He looks over at Jungkook and you swear you see Taehyung salivate inside his mouth, “I mean I get why you’re doing it but, c’mon isn’t this risky?”

“I know you’re probably confused,” you bite your lip nervously. “I shouldn’t have kept this from you.”

“Yeah no shit,” he genuinely seems angry, an emotion not common to him. “We’re best friends Y/N.”

“Tae, c’mon it’s really none of our business,” Jimin steps in trying to help you out.

“It is too my business when he could potentially hurt her,” Taehyung crosses his arms. Jungkook seems taken aback by his comment and he steps towards you from behind.

“I mean I like her,” Jungkook’s voice quickly speaks up, startling you from behind. You turn your body to look at him, his eyes meeting yours.

“You do?” Your voice comes out in a squeak, a smile spreading on your face like a wildfire.

“You do?” Taehyung asks this time, looking between you two. He looks at his partner Jimin who specializes in this stuff. Jimin nods at Taehyung for reassurance.

“Yeah, a lot actually,” Jungkook steps closer to you, throwing an arm around your shoulder to pull you close to his chest. You try to hide your embarrassingly huge smile.

Taehyung’s body visibly falters, his eyes going back to his usual soft gaze. Taehyung knew you deserved happiness and if Jungkook made you happy—who was he to stop that?

“I’m sorry again for keeping this from you, it’s just we didn’t want…”

“No I get it,” he nods, “But don’t do that shit again,” he gives you a smile. As warm as Jungkook’s embrace is, you step away and give yourself to Taehyung’s arms.

“You’re the best,” you mumble into his chest.

“Bitch, I know,” his chest rumbles against yours. Jungkook watches you and Taehyung embrace, his heart swelling. Goddamn—maybe he is in a little too deep. At this point, he doesn’t care though. If anything, he wants to make you happy and he’d be damned to let the universe stop that.

It was officially Halloween. Nearly three months after you and Jungkook first crossed paths and met, the two of you were also “official”. Neither of you can recall the exact date it happened, but it was not long after Taehyung and Jimin busted you two. You and Jungkook had decided to not tell that many people outside of your inner circle—neither of you wanting to deal with the glares and questions. You didn’t have a name attached on your body and he didn’t either, so what were you guys doing wrong? Nothing. He was yours and you were his and you haven’t been this happy in a long time.

Jungkook, though his Virgo nature being quite selfish sometimes, was always sweet, caring, checking in on you, surprising you with flowers, genuine, and opened up some of his deepest fears to you. You had been on cloud nine for months all because of him. You had probably thanked Namjoon at least six different occasions for dragging you over to meet them way back when. Namjoon was happy for you two—though being as quizzical as he was—he had his concerns, though he never outright voiced them.

Jimin being how he was, had his concerns too. Everyone around you and Jungkook saw how you two were infatuated around each other. Jimin had never seen two people who weren’t soulmates have the connection you two had. It worried him for many reasons, which is why he’s voicing them to Taehyung right now.

“Babe, I don’t know,” Jimin says as him and Taehyung somehow got on the topic of you and Jungkook. “Don’t you think they’re moving really fast?” He questions.

Taehyung looks at his partner, a confused expression crossing his features, “Why do you say that? As long as Y/N is happy, I don’t really care who dicks her down at night, soulmate or not.”

Jimin lets out a laugh before shaking his head, “I mean, in all my case studies I’ve never seen two people like that.”

Taehyung deadpans his boyfriend, “Jimin, you of all people should know that’s not true.”

Jimin nods, immediately understanding where he is coming from. “I know. I’m just worried one of them will get hurt. A name is destined to show up on them eventually.”

Taehyung grinds his teeth, “Y/N has never been one to feed into that stuff so I’m not sure she would care anyways.”

“But she should Tae,” Jimin says, “Jungkook too. I mean there’s serious repercussions to messing with nature.”

“Well they’re fine now, aren’t they?” by Taehyung’s response—Jimin isn’t even sure if he full listening to him. Taehyung being good with numbers and business, he doesn’t fully grasp the concepts of soulmates like Jimin does. For Jimin—it’s his studies, his passion, his life.

“Yeah but—“ Jimin gets cut off by a harsh knock on his apartment door.

“They’re here,” Taehyung smiles walking over to get the door, “Don’t say anything sketch okay?” he warns Jimin as he opens the door.

You nearly fall on your ass as Taehyung opens the door. Jungkook pulls you back with a laugh as you walk into Jimin’s apartment.

“Tae! Chim!” You smile widely, throwing your arms around Taehyung’s neck tightly. You stumble in your heels and Taehyung’s hands steady you, a rumble in his chest.

“Jesus Y/N. How much have you drank already?” He exasperates, glancing over at Jungkook.

“I told her to slow down,” Jungkook puts his hands up in defense. You giggle letting go of your friend to quickly hug Jimin too. “She doesn’t listen to me,” he adds with a laugh.

“I’m fine guys,” you say glancing at Taehyung’s and Jimin’s costumes.”Really? Pirates?”

“Hey!” Taehyung defends, “How much more cliché could you two get? A doctor and a nurse?!”

You glance over at Jungkook in his scrubs and white coat and down your body. A slutty red and white nurse’s uniform complete with thigh highs hug your figure and you quite liked it, mainly because watching Jungkook shift uncomfortably every time he glanced at you made you feel accomplished.

“Hey, we look hot,” you point at Taehyung’s chest, stumbling backwards again. Jungkook decides to pull you to his side, not wanting you to fall on your ass for real this time.

“Come on babe, slow down,” Jungkook mumbles as he wraps his arms around your front, glancing down your cleavage from behind. You nudge his stomach with your elbow.

“I’m a big girl,” you pout, “So are we going or what?”

“Yeah, just waiting on the address,” Jimin smiles waving his phone in the air.

A few moments pass, chatter between the four of you ensues. You loved your little group. Taehyung and Jimin welcomed Jungkook with open arms, the four of you going out on double dates, grabbing coffee, watching movies, and studying all became weekly occurrences. You were always so scared to dive into another relationship given your age and circumstance, but you swore that someway and somehow—you and Jungkook were meant to be together.

Twenty minutes later, the four of you step out of your Uber and make your way towards the new bar that opened near your campus. It was opening weekend and a Halloween party was obviously necessary. You held onto Jungkook’s hand tightly as you made your way inside the crowded area. You immediately aimed your way to the bar, ordering a vodka-soda, Jungkook ordering some soju.

“Don’t blackout on me now,” Jungkook raises an eyebrow at you, watching the way you take a huge sip of your drink.

“I said I’m a big girl,” you stand your ground, “I bet I can put away twice as many drinks as you.”

“Don’t listen to her Jungkook,” Taehyung says grabbing his own mixed drink, “She likes to spit nonsense when she’s drunk.”

“Oh trust me, I know,” he smirks at you and roll your eyes at him. Jungkook leans down and you peck his lips lightly—the same butterflies swirling in your stomach all these months later. Jimin watches the interaction closely. He knows exactly how you and Jungkook feels, but he still can’t shake the uneasiness deep in his gut.

“Come on, let’s dance,” you smile up at your boyfriend tugging on his arm. The music was loud and good, you were not just going to stand around. Jungkook nods quickly as you finish your drink, leaving Taehyung and Jimin behind at the bar.

Your heels made you more even with Jungkook’s height tonight as you threw your arms around his shoulders to pull him closer to you. His hands grip you waist tightly, wanting every guy here to know that you were his. For some reason, for whatever fucking reason—Jungkook felt inclined to protect you. As you sing whatever song was playing loudly, Jungkook found himself smiling and laughing at you. His chest twisted and his heart thumped. He still pinched himself when he woke up in the mornings. How did he get so lucky in this fucked world of destiny? If you weren’t meant for him, then who was?

You turn around pushing your back to his front. He holds you close as you both sway to the music as if it’s only you and him against the world. He smiles into your neck, kissing your delicate skin once in awhile. He spins you out from him and spins you back in quickly, your mind going dizzy.

“Hey careful,” you whine as you turn to him once again, “I’m drunk you know.”

“I thought you were a big girl,” he teases you and you narrow your eyes at him.

“Maybe not when I’m drunk,” you yell-whisper into his ear. He laughs, pulling you into a kiss. To any wondering eye, it would look as if you two were soulmates among other destined couples. Maybe that was the point? To fake it and then it becomes real?

Your heart swells at the thought. Jungkook studies your face intently, knowing that uttering his next words could be real dangerous but when you flash your gorgeous smile at him—he knows he has to say it.

“Wanna know a secret?” He asks.

“Sure.”

“I love you,” the words spill from his mouth. Your movements stop and you swear your drunkeness subsides momentarily.

“W-what?” You stutter. Did you hear him correctly?

“I know we’re drunk and this isn’t the best time but yeah,” he nods, “I love you Y/N.”

You head spins and you heart drops into your stomach. A smile creeps up onto your face.

“Really?” you ask, your eyes similar to those of a puppy. Jungkook nods, biting his lip. Will you say it back? “Thank fucking god, I thought I was the only one,” you say dramatically.

He furrows his eyebrows, chuckling, “Really?”

“Jeon Jungkook I fucking love you too,” you say, “I was waiting on you to say it.”

Once again he laughs, “Babe you can’t wait on stuff, you gotta go after what you want.”

“Well I already have you, don’t I?” You point out, “Come on, let’s go home.”

“Why? We’ve have one drink babe,” he says as you’re tugging on his hand.

“I know,” you look at him with a devilish smirk, “But I wanna fuck you and I’m not doing that in this bar.”

Jungkook’s face falls, blood rushing to his cock. “Fair enough.”

November is cold, which means December is going to be even colder. The days get shorter and your nights get longer as you try to prepare for finals in the next few weeks. Currently you’re bundled in two layers of clothing in the back of the library with Namjoon, adding the finishing touches on your final project that’s also due soon. Jungkook had to attend a seminar for one of his classes this evening which is why he’s MIA.

“Lucky shit,” Namjoon remarks when you explain your boyfriend’s absence. It was still strange to refer to him as your boyfriend.

“Would you honestly want to be lectured about how building muscles in the key to life right now?” You raise an eyebrow at him pointedly. Jungkook could even admit as a sports medicine major some of the people and things he learns about is absolute horseshit.

Namjoon laughs, “Touche.”

You’re working on the presentation aspect of you project while Namjoon is typing away at the research paper. As much as you despised the soulmate hoopla, reading about this stuff was very interesting. You had read how soulmates are apparently linked and of course, there is truly only one person meant for you. You rolled your eyes at these statements. If that was true, then why have you still not been given a name? There were so many questions that were just unanswerable that you couldn’t get over. Sure, the soulmate thing worked for some you couldn’t lie about that. At the end of the day though, perhaps you were one of the lucky ones—not bound by a name and given free reign over who is in the same spot as you.

“How’s everything going with you two by the way?” Namjoon asks curiously. His eyes haven’t left his computer screen so you oppose looking back at him when you answer.

“Good,” you smile slightly, “It’s still weird to think that we’re together,” you laugh at your statement.

He smiles to himself, “Weird for you? How about weird for me? I introduced the two of you being Jungkook is shy twat.”

“I know, I know,” you reach across the table and squeeze Namjoon’s hand playfully, “Which is why I’ve thanked you how many times now?”

“Yeah yeah, you only. Jungkook hasn’t given me his thanks yet.”

“I wouldn’t expect him too.”

“Trust me, I’m not,” he smiles with another stifled laugh as you two try to keep quiet. “So nothing’s really happened between you two?”

He’s referring to your project which you hastily agreed on letting yours and Jungkook’s “experience” to be first hand research.

You shake your head, “No. By the fifth time we had sex I was expecting to “feel excruciating pain deep within my chest as the universe tries to pull me away” him,” you quote one of the claims made by a well-known and well respected researcher. It was almost comical—how could anyone believe this stuff?

“Okay, TMI,” he puts his hands up.

“Hey this was your idea,” you remind him.

“It’s just wild to me,” he says, “I mean we grow up thinking there’s someone out there only meant for us and you and Jungkook… just don’t have one?” He looks off in the distance and you’re not sure if you should be offended by his statement—though Namjoon is a realist and he’s very logical so everything he’s saying is true.

“We have each other,” you shrug, “That’s good enough for me. I love him for who he is,” you almost feel heat coming to your face but you push it down.

“That’s how I feel about Kaya,” he almost smiles.

You look at him curiously—Namjoon hardly ever speaks of his soulmate. They’ve been together for a long time but she goes to university a couple hours from here so they don’t get to see each other as often as they would like.

“Can I see?” You whisper. He furrows his eyebrows, confused. “Your mark, I mean.”

Namjoon looks down at his left hand before nodding, opening his palm for you. In faint white writing, almost skin color—is the name Kaya in beautiful cursive. It makes your heart strings feel heavy for a moment. You knew you didn’t need a name to find love but you had always been curious about what it would be like to dawn one.

“Did it hurt? When it showed up?”

He shakes his head, “Not really, just kind like a little sting.”

“Why do you think I don’t have one? And Jungkook too?”

Your question catches him off guard. Honestly if anyone could answer this question, it was Park Jimin but he obviously wasn’t here. Namjoon was smart though—maybe he had good theories.

“I honestly don’t know,” he says softly, “I feel all the research of this stuff only applies for people who have one.”

You snort, “Right.”

“I mean you can never say never though,” he shakes his head, “Just because society has said before eighteen, that could be bullshit for all we know. You saw how in some of these articles, some names showed up in people’s early and mid-twenties too.”

“Yeah… and then what?”

“What do you mean?” He asks.

“It’s just seems so unfair that I can see Jungkook in my life after college and that could be taken away so easily. Or I could be taken away from him… it’s just so fucked don’t you think?” You don’t even realize how shaky your tone is, but Namjoon picks it up.

“Are you worried about that?”

Your mouth goes dry, “I like to think he’s the one for me,” you say after a few seconds of silence.

He bites his lip, unsure of what to say next, “Well maybe he is,” he offers trying to lighten your mood.

You look down at your hands, inspecting your wrist and fingers carefully. Your stomach churns at your next thought.

“And what if he isn’t?” You glance back to find his eyes staring holes into you.

“Then it wasn’t meant to be. I’d like to think the universe isn’t wrong.”

You nod slowly taking in his words. Sure you and Jungkook had been official for awhile now and you hoped that this feeling with him would never end. You liked to think the universe isn’t wrong either and maybe that’s why you and Jungkook found each other—cause it was meant to be.

Yours and Namjoon’s conversation stuck with you the rest of the evening. Jungkook had picked you up from the library in his black Mercedes around 8 PM. Even though it was a Wednesday, you and Jungkook had been staying at each other’s places more often than not. With your only roommate being away in Europe for study abroad, it was nice having him stay with you.

Jungkook noticed something was bothering you as he drove back to your place as you didn’t say much to him. You gripped his hand tightly in yours but the way your eyes didn’t meet his— it worried him. He became even more worried when you didn’t want to eat dinner after he had picked up your favorite takeout. It was his treat to you since he was unable to come to the library tonight.

“I’m just not that hungry,” you said pushing around the Chinese food with your chopsticks. You were both sat on your couch, your feet up in his lap watching some romantic-comedy TV show—Jungkook’s choosing—not yours.

“You’re always hungry,” he says poking at your leg to try to get a smile from you. Nothing. He furrows his eyebrows at you though you don’t even notice it as you’re looking away from him.

“What’s up babe?” Jungkook’s question takes you out of your thoughts. Were you that obvious?

“Hm?” You glance at him, trying to play your emotions off.

“You’re just being so… quiet?” He says softly, setting down his plate on the coffee table. He shifts his body to your frame, a hand holding up his head on the back of the couch.

“I don’t know,” you mumble, “Just have a lot on my mind.”

“Y/N you can tell me anything you know,” he rubs the back of your calves. The motion alone relaxes you significantly and you still don’t know how someone has this affect over you.

You pause, unsure if you should voice your worries to him. Would they cause problems between you two if you said what you were actually thinking? Was Namjoon right? “It’s just Namjoon and I were talking tonight and—“

“What did he say to you?” Jungkook quickly interrupts with a harsh tone. As much as Jungkook loved Namjoon like a brother—he was too brash and sometimes that lead to hurt feelings.

“It’s nothing he said it just got me thinking,” you shake your head aimlessly, looking behind Jungkook’s head at the wall. He doesn’t say anything wanting you to continue. “Don’t you worry about the future?”

Jungkook purses his lips, thinking deeply about your question before answering honestly.

“Everyday,” he says, “But I like to live for now, in the present… why are you asking?”

“What are we supposed to do if we’re separated, huh?” The words tumble from your mouth, your tone not the sweetest. You tense up in Jungkook’s hands and he notices your demeanor quickly changing.

“Why are you saying that Y/N?” His voice is confused and heavy.

“Because I fucking love you Jungkook and I don’t want you taken away from me, that’s why,” you let out a deep breath, pushing yourself up and off the couch. Jungkook watches you as you stand up and walk towards the kitchen. You’re clearly distressed about something. Slowly, he rises to his feet sauntering over to your frame that’s staring down at the sink.

“Y/N,” his voice is low behind you. Your knuckles are nearly white from gripping the side of the counter so hard. You felt tears pricking in your eyes that you had to force away. Jungkook wraps his arms around your front and you lean back into his frame.

He rests his head on your shoulder, “Baby I get it, okay? I know it’s scary not knowing what the hell is wrong with people like us—“

“That’s the problem Jungkook,” you say, “There’s something wrong with us and it’s fucked up. How do we know that this, us, is okay?”

“Listen I know you don’t believe in destiny and all that stuff but,” he pauses nuzzling into your neck, “But I do and I feel like if this, us—isn’t meant to be, then what is?”

You lean your head on his before you reluctantly turn your body around, your hands sliding behind his torso.

“How are you so sure?” You mutter meeting his gaze. His eyes are worried for you but still deep down, they have a light and wonder you’ve never fully understood.

He gives you a tiny smile, brushing his nose against yours, “Because I love you, okay? Like I’ve never loved anyone more before, I promise you, we’ll be fine. You will be fine.”

The weight from your shoulders is lifted as Jungkook’s words reassure you. He had such a hopeless romantic complex about him, you were sure he knew everything right to say to make you feel better. He was right—the odds of you two being this late in the game and meeting can’t be coincidental. He was yours and you were his—that’s all that mattered.

“Are you good now?” He raises his eyebrows at you and you nod against his forehead, leaning forward to peck his lips.

“Much better,” you then say. Jungkook chases his mouth with yours again before pulling away after a brief kiss.

“Good because I had something important to ask you anyways,” he says giving you some space.

Your eyes bulge, a worried look instantly spreading on your features, “You’re not asking me to marry you, are you? After what we just—“

He shakes his head with a laugh, “No, not right now at least,” he continues to laugh and your heart lurches at the thought. “But I was gonna ask if you wanted to come to Busan with me, for Christmas?”

You are taken aback by his question, your mouth parting unsure of what to say.

“Like go home with you?” He nods at your question, “And meet your family?” He nods again.

“I know we haven’t been together that long but I’d figure I would offer,” he shrugs.

“Do your parents know about us?”

“I mentioned someone to them on the phone the other day.”

“Do they know the full situation?” you ponder. You two weren’t soulmates and meeting parents was a huge step.

“No,” he says, “But that doesn’t mean we can’t fake it,” a smirk spreads on his lips.

“Jungkook, I don’t know if that’s the best idea.”

“None of my ideas are the best ideas let’s be real,” he chuckles, “And I’m not saying you have to go, but if you want to the offer is there.”

You bite your lip as your eyes meet. The stove light was shining on his face so his small scar was prominent. It would be nice you suppose, meeting his brother who gave him that scar and his parents too. You had never met any of your significant other’s parents—Jungkook really must believe in you two then.

“I’ll think about it,” you smile up at him, squeezing your arms tightly around his frame. He nods before leaning down, kissing you once again gently. Your night ends with you finally eating your food and Jungkook in your bed making you feel better than anyone ever has. It was perfect.

WINTER

“And how, may I ask,” your professor’s voice is the first to ask a question when you are done speaking, “Did the three of you manage to maintain data regarding the intimacy of two people whose souls are not bound yet?”

Your eyes flicker over to Namjoon and Jungkook. You’re about to respond but Namjoon beats you to it.

“Professor Jung, we know it can seem like we made up part of our research but,” he pauses, “But we trust the individuals who relayed us this information in the past three months and out of respect for them… we ask for you not to probe too much.”

Your professor’s eyebrows raise at Namjoon’s comment. His eyes flicker between the three of you, unable to decipher Namjoon’s passive aggressiveness. You were thankful he decided to answer the question, because you’re sure that you would have been too nice about it. Why can’t this jackass just take the information you are presenting and shove it up his ass?

“I see,” he breathes in deeply, “It just seems very hard for me to wrap my head around the argument that you’ve presented, when there’s so much research saying the opposite. The effects of intimacy is sacred for soul bonded people. Horrible illnesses and other things can happen to these people that go against nature.”

“It does seem that way professor,” you chime in, “But perhaps it’s time for new, more in-depth research to be done on this subject. These independent relationships may not work for everyone but in this case—it has.”

He chews on the end of his pen, “I agree wholeheartedly and though I still have my doubts about your research, I cannot deny the three of you have presented me with a topic that no one ever has before. The psychology behind soul-binding, sex, and relationships is amazing and endless… and isn’t the point of life to ask questions?” He seems to have lost somewhat focus on the three of you. What an idiot.

“Exactly,” Jungkook nods sending you a quick wink. You chew on your bottom lip to avoid from grinning. “As they say, we learn something new everyday.”

“That you are correct Mr. Jeon,” he say points to your boyfriend. “Well, I think you three have presented a wonderful project and I look forward to reading your research paper for further depth. Expect a grade by the end of the week. Thank you, it was… mostly a pleasure having you in my class,” his eyes glance at you briefly and it takes all of you not to launch at him over his stupidly expensive desk.

“Thank you professor. Have a good winter break,” Namjoon smiles. The three of you leave the small conference room attached to his office. Thankfully, you did not have to present your project in front of the entire class.

You let out a groan of relief when the cold winter air welcomes you outside. “Thank god that’s over!” You smile up at the sky.

Jungkook throws an arm around your shoulder to pull you in close, “What grade do you think we’ll get hyung?” He smiles at Namjoon who is digging around for his phone.

“Hopefully an A. With the bullshit you were feeding him? I think he loved it, he was just being a hardass because of Y/N,” he motions to you.

You’re mouth falls open, “Hey! It’s not my fault he doesn’t like me! He’s a raging psychotic sexist,” you huff crossing your arms over you.

“Uh huh,” Namjoon hums, “First day straggler.”

You narrow your eyes at him before Jungkook nudges you, “C’mon I’m freezing, let’s go home,” he whines and you give him a small nod.

“I’ll see you after break?” You ask the dimpled man in front of you.

He smiles, “Yeah for sure. But I gotta go—I have a plane to catch later tonight.”

“Where are you going?” This is even news to Jungkook.

“Oh, Kaya and I are going to Europe for two weeks, should be fun,” he looks down at his phone, “Oh shit, yeah I gotta go, Merry Christmas!” He waves at you two before running off in the opposite direction to the bus stop.

“Europe? I wanna go to Europe,” you pout looking up at Jungkook. He gives you a peck on the lips, your pout irrespective.

“We’ll go one day. It’s fun,” he says as you two begin to walk towards the student parking lot.

“You’ve been?”

“A few countries there, yeah,” he nods intertwining your fingers. Jeez, the amount of things and places Jungkook has been in his 22 years made your life look boring as hell. “Like I said, we’ll go—I promise,” is the last thing he says before you two get into his car.

The car ride is mostly a comfortable silence on the way to your place. His hand rests on your thigh, holding you tighter whenever he takes a turn.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come with me?” Jungkook asks suddenly getting your attention.

“It’s not that I don’t want to Jungkook,” you say, “It’s just Taehyung said he was going to be here by himself all break and when he asked, I felt bad.”

He pouts giving you a glance, “I know but I’ll be lonelyyy,” he drags out.

“You have your whole family babe,” you laugh at his childish demeanor.

“Yeah but I’m not exactly into cuddling my brother when I go to sleep,” he mutters and you swat his arm. “And you’re telling me I have to go two weeks without having sex?!”

“Jungkook,” you roll your eyes with a laugh, “You’re starting to sound like Professor Jung with your concerns about sex.”

“Duh,” he says, “Why do you think I liked him so much?”

“I hate you,” you deadpan and you gives you a shit-eating grin.

“I love you too.”

The next couple days Jungkook stays at your place completely, not wanting to leave your side before he has to go to Busan for two weeks. He was very disappointed that you didn’t want to go to Busan with him, but he knew Taehyung was your best friend and you were bound to do anything for him.

“I can’t believe you’re trusting me with your car,” you say pulling into the train station parking garage. His Mercedes was a low-ground sports car, complete with a V8 engine and custom leather seats. You were still blown away that Jungkook had this car in college. You assumed that his parents must have money because you didn’t know how else to explain it.

Jungkook was nervous watching you drive his baby. When you would press on the gas or the breaks a little too hard he could felt his heart stop for a second.

“Yeah just please be careful,” he pleads as you park perfectly. You put his car in park and turn to him.

“Don’t you trust me?” You blink your lashes at him. He smirks adjusting the beanie on his head.

“I do,” he says, “Mostly.”

“Let’s make a deal Jeon,” you suggest as you help him unload his bags from the trunk. Jungkook was like a woman bringing two full suitcases and a duffle bag with him for a two week trip.

“Shoot babe,” he says.

“If nothing happens to your car in these two weeks—which it won’t—you can treat me for being a good girl,” you smirk up at him and he visibly gulps, rolling his tongue in his cheek. He thought your morning sex would have been enough but he wonder’s if he should take you into a bathroom at the train station and fuck your brains out again before he leaves.

“Deal,” he manages to choke out, going against his previous thought. Goddamn he was so in love with you he wasn’t sure he could make it without you for two weeks. In the five months you have known each other this was going to be longest time spent apart.

As you approach the ticket counter for Jungkook to check in, you start to feel a sadness settling in your heart and stomach. You felt like you were being dramatic about not seeing Jungkook for two weeks but he had become such an important role in your happiness—it was going to be weird not seeing him everyday. He truly was your other half.

“Alright I gotta head to my platform,” Jungkook says giving you a weak smile. “Thanks for driving me here.”

You try your best to muster up a smile, “No problem.”

He quickly pulls you in for a hug, encasing your frame around his tightly. You inhale his scent deeply so you won’t forget it in the next couple weeks.

“Don’t miss me too much,” he mumbles into your ear.

You pull your head out of his chest, “As long as you don’t miss me too much.”

God you two were disgusting.

He smiles leaning down a for kiss, you close the gap between you two. You only kiss for a moment not wanting to catch any unwanted attention.

“I love you,” you smile at him.

“I love you too,” he says, suddenly reaching into the deep pocket of his large sweatshirt. “Here,” he hands over a tiny box wrapped in Christmas paper and an envelope taped to the bottom of it.

“Jungkook,” you look at him and then the present, “We said we weren’t going to give each other presents.”

“I know but I couldn’t resist. I just thought of you when I saw it.”

“Thank you,” your heart flutters and you give him one last peck before he has to leave.

“Merry Christmas,” he says, “I’ll let you know when I arrive.”

“Merry Christmas Jungkook.”

A brief walk back to Jungkook’s car has your heart in shambles. As you watched him leave for his platform, you couldn’t help but think you should have went with him. Taehyung would have understood—but that also meant meeting his parents and you weren’t sure that was a good idea just yet.

You settled into the driver seat of his car, carefully tearing the wrapping from the small box. Your eyes widen when you open it, a baby teal box revealing a beautiful ring on the inside. A gold band shines in the light, a small circular diamond in the middle shines even brighter.

“Holy shit,” you breathe out, quickly ripping open the envelope that he also gave you. It contained a cheesy Christmas card, his handwriting scribbling—

Merry Christmas Y/N. You’ve changed my life in more ways than one. I’m just one call away and I’ll always be here for you.

Cheesy I know—but you know cheesy is my middle name.

I love you.

Jungkook

“Jesus Christ Y/N!” Taehyung exclaims when you show him your new accessory on your hand. “This must have been thousands of dollars,” he grabs your hand to inspect the jewelry. “Tiffany too? What kind of money is Jungkook’s parent’s shitting out for him to give you this?”

“Hey now, he does well with his photography,” you pinch in, noting that he began selling pieces after much consideration.

“I know I know but damn,” he moves your hand around to see the light catching in the diamond. “When did he give you this?”

“The other day when I dropped him off at the train station.”

“Wow… I think you’ve won in the boyfriend category Y/N,” his eyes still haven’t left your finger and you know it’s the alcohol in his system that is keeping him mesmerized.

“It’s not a competition dumbass,” you spew at him.

“What did you get him? An amazing blowjob topped with a new lens for his cameras?”

You laugh at Taehyung’s words, “I’m more mad at the fact the he even bought it, we said we weren’t going to give each other gifts.”

“Well shit Y/N he basically proposed to you—that’s not a gift, is it?” His glassy, wine drunk eyes look at you curiously.

You pull your hand away from him, laying back down against your couch.

“Tae,” you mutter, feeling slightly tipsy yourself, “Do you think Jungkook and I will last?”

Taehyung leans back beside you, exhaling a deep breathe heavily. He doesn’t say anything for a few moments. The silence isn’t uncomfortable but it makes you nervous.

“Yeah,” he says, his eyes looking straight ahead, his tone real and understanding. Taehyung couldn’t voice it—no matter how much he wanted to over the months of you relationship with Jungkook—but he knew what you were going through in more ways than one.

“Really?” You look at him, nuzzling your head into his outstretched arm. He looks down at you before nodding.

“If you two want it to work… it will,” his voice deep and serious.

“How do you know that though?” You mutter, your tone down and pessimistic.

He breathes in deeply, “I just do… I know you two love each other. Anyone can see it Y/N. Don’t doubt anything unless you’ve been given a reason to doubt.”

Taehyung was always more philosophical when he was drinking and this proves that even more.

“Trust me,” his deep voice adds when you don’t say anything immediately .

“What would I do without you?” You finally muster looking up at him.

He smirks, “Lose your mind, that’s what.”

“Give me more credit than that asshole,” you push against his torso.

He laughs before responds with, “Hell no.”

“Well, should we open up our presents?” You give him a small smile glancing at the gifts that were lazily strewn on the floor. Your miniature Christmas tree was slightly pathetic—but it was better than nothing you suppose.

“Sure, but don’t expect another item from Tiffany alright?” He muses as he stands up to grab his gifts for you.

“Fuck off,” you laugh reaching your hands out as he places a bag and a box wrapped in front of you. You were sure Jimin wrapped these given how perfect they were.

“You first,” he gives you a warm smile. You dig into the bag first as it is less to unwrap. Your mouth drops open when you pull out a box of condoms, Taehyung stifling a laugh behind his smile.

“Taehyung are you kidding me?” You’re trying hard not to laugh either. He fucking would.

“Ultra thin… thought they would come in handy since, you know, you two fuck like bunnies,” he sends over a wink and you’re quick to flip him off. You open his next present which happens to be a coat you’ve been eyeing for the past few weeks, but hesitant to buy due to the $300 price tag.

“Tae, you didn’t have to get me this,” you marvel at the thick material, the baby blue color just the one you wanted. “This is too expensive—“

“Babe it’s fine,” he shakes his head, “I know you need some help with our wardrobe so I’m only offering my services,” he says matter of factly.

You move the box away from you and throw your arms around his neck. He hugs you tightly and in this moment you realize how happy your are. You perhaps have the best boyfriend and best friend of anyone you know. You didn’t think anything would change that.

“Here,” you pass Taehyung over your present and he quickly rips the paper off. He looks like a little kid on Christmas morning and you decide to pour more wine as he fidgets with the box.

“Shit Y/N!” He smiles widely, “Holy shit you didn’t have to get me this,” he takes his gift out of the box. He smiles widely at the leather bag you got him. Not a cheap price tag either—but it was Taehyung’s favorite bag and his old one was not cutting it anymore.

“It’s fine,” you shake your head, gulping down your white wine quickly. You two were quite drunk at this point.

“Jeez,” he shakes his head pulling you into another bone crushing hug, “Fuck Jimin and Jungkook. Let’s just get married, you and me kid.”

You laugh at his words, “Trust me, if you were straight I would take you up on that.”

The rest of your evening is spent with watching “How the Grinch Stole Christmas,” more wine, and endless laughter with your best friend.

It’s about 5 AM when you wake up in your bed with a busting headache and a stomach ache that has you doubled over on your toilet. Fuck, did you really drink that much? Your question is answered when everything in your stomach is coming up through your esophagus. You don’t know how long you sit on your knees, hands on the toilet throwing up your guts.

“Y/N?” Taehyung appears at your bathroom door rubbing his eyes, “Whoa, are you okay?” He quickly comes down behind you, holding your hair back and away from your face.

Finally after what seems like forever, you stop throwing up, resting your head on the porcelain.

“Yeah,” you groan, your throat raw and sore, “I guess I just drank too much.”

“Shit, do you need anything?” He asks, voice laced with concern.

“Just some water please,” you tell him and he leaves to quickly get you a glass. “Fuck,” you mutter to yourself. You’re not sure the last time you were this hungover was. You knew you needed water and sleep—maybe that would alleviate the pain in your head and stomach.

You get back into bed a few moments later with Taehyung laying down beside you. He gives you your space and before you know it, both of you fall back to sleep.

You wake up again around 10 AM, your headache still busting but your stomach more settled now. You’re sipping tea watching another Christmas movie with Taehyung when your phone rings. A smile stretches on your face when you see Jungkook’s name pop up.

“Hey,” you answer the phone, sitting up from your position on the couch.

“Hey babe,” his voice brings comfort to your ears, “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas,” you say, “Did you have a good morning?”

Jungkook hesitates over the line before speaks again, “Uh, yeah… what about you?”

You furrow your eyebrows at his tone. He sounds… distant and unconfident with his words.

“I mean I’ve been better,” you laugh, watching Taehyung glance at you quickly.

“What’s wrong?” He asks.

“Well I’m just really hungover, Taehyung really did a number on me with the wine last night,” you laugh again trying to ease whatever tension Jungkook is holding through the phone.

He chuckles nervously for a moment over the phone, “Well drink some water and rest okay?”

“I know, I’m gonna take it easy for the rest of the day,” you look at your nails that desperately need to be manicured.

“Yeah good,” is all he says and you purse your lips. Normally Jungkook is so talkative over the phone—what’s up with him?

“Babe are you okay?” You ask him with genuine concern. You would hate for him to be going through something and him not tell you. Taehyung gives you a weird look and you shrug your shoulders.

“Yeah,” he clears his throat, “I’m just tired from all the Christmas hoopla I’ve had to do the past few days,” he says seeming to explain his demeanor, “But I’m gonna call you later okay? I’ve got a Christmas brunch to get ready for but I just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas.”

You smile at his words, “Alright, have fun. I’ll talk to you later. Hurry home. I love you.”

“I’ll try I promise,” you can sense a small smile in his voice, “I love you too.” So much.

You stay sick for the next three days. Your body aches, your head hurts, and you’re still throwing up occasionally therefore you’ve barely had anything to eat the past three days. You and Taehyung are afraid you’ve picked up a small flu from someone. Despite this, Taehyung stays with you, not wanting to leave you alone sick like this.

Jimin gets back from home a couple days after you’ve fallen ill. Jimin being a medical guy himself, is unsure of what or who could have gotten you sick.

“As long as you don’t get and maintain a fever, I think you should be fine,” he says watching your frame on your couch. You had not felt this sick in so long and of course it had to be right before Jungkook got back home too.

“Should Jungkook come around her? He gets back when, tomorrow?” Taehyung asks you.

You nod, “Yeah, tomorrow evening,” you manage to say through your sore throat that feels like it’s actually on fire.

“I don’t think you’re contagious otherwise he would be sick too,” he motions to Taehyung, “He should be fine,” his voice is low and steady. His eyes don’t leave your frame though you’re too tired to notice Jimin’s intense stare.

You push yourself off of the couch, wanting to get some sleep in your bed. “I’m gonna take a nap, you guys don’t have to stay here if you don’t want to.”

Taehyung and Jimin exchange a glance before nodding, “We can get some food and bring some back for you later?”

“That would be great Tae,” you smile at him, “Thanks guys.”

Jimin and Taehyung leave your apartment, locking the door behind them with Taehyung’s spare key.

“Do you think she’s really okay? I’ve never seen her like this,” Taehyung mumbles to Jimin as he pulls up directions to the nearest ramen restaurant near them.

Jimin’s throat goes dry and he hesitates, biting his lip, “Honestly, I think we’ll just have to see.”

Jimin’s words are uneasy in Taehyung’s mind—both of them equally worried for you.

. You are jumping out of the shower when you get a text from Jungkook.

[Jungkook ♥ 6:58 PM] I’m about an hour away. Can’t wait to see you.

You smile at his text, heart fluttering at the thought of seeing him again. Today you woke up feeling a lot better—still not 100%—but you could actually stomach food today. Despite your illness, you didn’t really care at this point. You could wait to see Jungkook—you missed him so much more than you thought you would have.

[You 7:00 PM] Perfect. I’ll see you soon ♥

[Jungkook ♥ 7:02 PM] ♥

The train station is more crowded than it was went you sent Jungkook off. The masses of being returning from their holiday was immense and you were afriad you weren’t going to be able to find Jungkook through the masses.

Little to your knowledge, Jungkook had spotted you after he exited his platform—a beautiful baby blue coat hanging off of your frame—signaling where you stood. After not seeing your face for two weeks, he smiled to himself. You were so fucking beautiful to him and he loved you so much—it only made his heart hurt even more.

He hesitates walking towards your back that’s facing him. He takes in a deep breath before he wraps his arms around your front. You jump in his arms and turn around with the smile that makes his day. Today—it only breaks him even further.

“Jungkook,” you turn around and hug him tightly. Finally—he was home. He doesn’t say anything as he returns your hug, kissing you on the top of the head. He glances down at his arms, pulling his jacket sleeve down, making sure his watch wasn’t going anywhere.

After all, he was desperate to hide the name that was inked on his wrist that wasn’t yours.

JUNGKOOK

Christmas Eve—Busan

Jungkook’s tie is too tight around his neck. He swore to his mother that it was fine but her being as stubborn as she was, made sure to secure it so that not even she could move it. He pulls at his collar and his older brother, Junghyun laughs at him.

“You look like a little kid, pulling and tugging at that you know,” Junghyun eyes Jungkook and he rolls his eyes.

“It’s suffocating hyung—I’m not drunk enough for this bullshit,” Jungkook responds with a laugh.

It was their annual Christmas Eve party held by their father’s company and it was just as stuffy and rich as Jungkook remembers. Jungkook and his brother didn’t speak much about their wealth. They had both grown up with more money, toys, clothes, shoes, and vacations that they ever needed. They never once complained as they both know how incredibly lucky they were to have already lived 5 lives before turning 30. They did however, understand how tiring this lifestyle was.

Perhaps it is why neither Jungkook or Junghyun pursued business as a major—neither one wanted to have this much to handle on their plate. Thankfully, despite most of the people that associated with the Jeon family—their mother and father were humble and respected their sons’ decisions to make their own path. If it were up to their mother though, should would have her sons closer to Busan than so far away.

“Well, the night is still young,” his brother speaks again, handing Jungkook a glass of champagne.

“There you two are,” Yeri—Junghyun’s soulmate and partner appears from what seems to be out of thin air. “Hi my love,” she smiles up at Junghyun as he pulls her closer to his hip. “Jungkook, how are you?”

“Pretty good, my tie is too tight,” he pouts.

Yeri observes Jungkook, “I think it looks good?” She looks back up at his brother and he nods in agreement.

“I know, he’s just a baby,” he remarks and Jungkook rolls his eyes.

“Anyways, your mother is looking for you two—we’re about to eat dinner,” she informs and both of the brother’s nod.

Jungkook follows closely behind them, weaving in and out of people to get to their designated table. Jungkook only recognizes a handful of people he passes even though they know exactly who he is. They find their table, their parents already seated and ready for dinner.

Jungkook smiles when he sees his mother, bending down to hug her.

“Hello Jungkook, Junghyun,” she greets her sons, “Yeri, please sit!”

He takes a seat right of his mom, Junghyun and Yeri to his left. His father is busy speaking with a business partner at the table to pay much attention to them. Jungkook grew up used to that though—his father always overworking himself, barely getting home before they had to go to bed. Despite this, he was still a great father in Jungkook’s eyes, providing and making them laugh every chance he got.

“What’s for dinner, Mrs. Jeon?” Yeri asks. Jungkook’s mother loved Yeri the moment she set her eyes on her all those years ago and nothing has changed.

“Oh, we’re having a little bit of everything—bulgogi, samgyeopsal, jajangmyeon, kimchi. I hope it’s good, we had to get a new caterer this year,” a sudden worry falls over he face but she quickly brushes it away.

“Perfect, I’m starved,” Jungkook mumbles, once again, mindlessly tugging at his collar. Jungkook’s mom swats his hand away.

“Quit it, you’re fine,” she scolds him and he settles in his seat, picking up his newly poured glass of red wine. It was true—he was starved and if he didn’t get food in his system quickly, he would probably become tipsy from a singular glass of champagne and wine.

The food arrives at each table in an orderly fashion as everyone finally takes their seats. A few words of thanks are spoken before everyone digs in, placing various meats on the grills in front of them. Commotion and chatter quickly fill the large hall. Jungkook is busy stuffing his mouth with noodles when suddenly his name is spoken across the table.

“Jungkook,” his father addresses him. He swallows his food quickly before raising an eyebrow in response. “You remember Mr. Kim, Seokjin’s father?”

The mention of Seokjin brings a wash of memories over Jungkook’s brain. He was an older kid that him and Junghyun used to play around with growing up.

“Yes, of course,” Jungkook slightly smiles to the elder.

“I can’t believe you’re almost done with university,” Mr. Kim compliments Jungkook, “What are you majoring in again?”

“Sports medicine,” Jungkook says feeling slightly intimidated by his stare. Suddenly Mr. Kim’s eyes glance down to Jungkook’s hand and he suddenly feels self conscious about his the ink colored on his fingers. He quickly retracts his hand under the table before he speaks again.

“Well that’s really good to hear,” he smiles warmly again, “Are you planning on furthering your education past undergrad?”

“Yes sir,” he nods, “I plan to pursue a sports physician or therapist within the next few years.”

He looks over at Jungkook’s father, “I don’t think your sons could be any more opposite than you and I,” he laughs and Jungkook’s father nods with a small smile.

“As long as they’re happy, that’s all that matters,” his father says. Jungkook glances at Junghyun, hoping he was paying some attention to the conversation so Jungkook could continue eating. He wasn’t.

“Yes I see,” Mr. Kim nods, “They will do good for themselves and their partners, I’m sure of it.”

The mention of the word partner gets Jungkook’s mother’s attention.

“Oh yes, Junghyun and Yeri have recently leased a house in Seoul,” she smiles proudly at her eldest. It was true—Junghyun was a practicing lawyer and Yeri was a court reporter so they were doing pretty well off even though they haven’t reached 30 yet.

“If only they could hurry up and get married,” she then adds with a laugh. Junghyun looks over and he grimaces, though no ill intent by the stare.

“Mom, we’ve told you. We’re settling our house and finances for another year or so, then we are,” he responds swiftly.

“Well, then it seems like Jungkook is due next,” Mr. Kim adds into the mix. Suddenly, Jungkook tenses up and his face falls. Oh how he wish you were here right now so he wasn’t alone in this.

“Well Jungkook does have a partner, right?” His mom looks over at him. Jungkook had mentioned you to his mom and dad but that was it—so this is news for Junghyun and Yeri who were carefully listening to his words. Jungkook was 22 after all—the clock was ticking.

“Yes mom,” he nods, “I invited her to Busan with me for the holidays but she decided to stay back home,” he explains.

“Ah, that’s too bad, we would have loved to meet her,” Mr. Kim says, “Next time though?’

Jungkook nods, a small smile present, “Next time.”

The conversation thankfully dies after that. As much as Jungkook wanted to talk about you—he was so hesitant for well, obvious reasons. His mom had the most questions about you and he answered all of them to her liking. She seemed to think their souls were bonded and wasn’t that the point he was trying to make? He wanted his mom to love you like he did and he was confident she would by the way her eyes lit up when he spoke about you.

“She seems lovely Jungkook,” she says, “And you just met her this year? After all this time?”

After all this time—yeah right. “Yeah, we had a class together.”

“Well I for one cannot wait to meet her,” she smiles taking a sip of her wine, “You should invite her again when you two graduate, you know we have to have a party to celebrate.”

Jungkook’s mouth goes dry but he nods quickly, just wanting to focus on the dessert that was being place in front of him.

“She would love that,” is all he says before he digs into his cheesecake. After a few glasses of wine, Jungkook had felt himself become a little tipsy and he knew he needed to slow down if he wanted to enjoy Christmas morning.

After he finishes his sweet treat, he excuses himself to get some water. As much as he hates these kinds of things, he wishes he had his camera to capture some memories—even though it was his first Christmas with you despite being separated by hundreds of kilometers.

He reaches the beverage table, quickly asking for a glass of water when suddenly he feels a tap on his shoulder.

“Excuse me?” A girls voice asks, “Would you mind getting me a glass of Chardonnay?”

He glances at the girl before nodding, asking for a glass to hand to her. The server hands Jungkook a wine glass and he turns around to see the girl for the first time. He’s slightly taken aback from her beauty. She’s got warm brown hair that flows down her chest, welcoming eyes, and a smile that he swears sparkled in the light.

“Thank you,” her eyes met his and he feels his chest tightening the longer he looks at her. As much as he wants to look away—he physically is unable. She seems to feel the same because he doesn’t know how much time has passed of them staring at each other before someone calls out to her.

She glances to her right, raising her glass as another thanks before walking away from Jungkook. His eyes follow her as her back turns to him. She’s wearing a simple purple dress with sleeves and heels that make her legs look long and lean.

He shakes his head out of his trance-like state, what the fuck? He takes another gulp of his water—it has to be alcohol getting to him. He’s about to head back to his parent’s table when he suddenly feels an itching on the inside of his left wrist. He scratches his skin harshly and he winces when it’s more painful than a normal scratch.

He glances down at his sleeve, pulling the material back to see what was so painful. He does a double take when he moves his watch, noticing harsh red lines forming on skin. The fuck, he thinks to himself. Jungkook makes the decision to excuse himself to the men’s room to cool the burning off with some water.

Thankfully he’s the only person occupying the room and he quickly turns on the water, running his skin underneath it. The burning subsides after a few moments and as he’s reaching for a towel to dry himself, he drops it to the floor before he can even use it.

While the red marks have gone away, a thin black line has replaced them.

Rose.

He blinks heavily, shaking his head. Is he really that drunk? He takes his nail to scratch at the black and when it doesn’t move, his mouth parts and the tie around his neck feels even more constricting.

“No,” he whispers to himself.

Rose.

It’s still there.

“No, no, no,” he mumbles, “Fuck,” his breathing picks up heavily and he looks at himself in the mirror. His face is pale and his eyes are blown out. Fuck.

Rose.

He moves his watch back over the marking and runs a hand through his hair, pulling on the ends harder than he should. He almost feels tears threatening to fall when he realizes what’s happening. This has to be a sick joke? The universe cannot be doing this—not right now—not after all this fucking time?

As much as his mind is racing, drunk and confusion do not make a good combination, he sees one thing for sure in the back of his brain. You. As this thought, his stomach churns deeply and before he realizes it—he’s spitting up some of his food and alcohol into the toilet.

“Fuck,” he says again wiping the perspiration away from his clammy hands onto his pants. He takes in a deep breath, freshening himself up before he leaves the bathroom with the mission to find one person and one person only.

Once he comes back into the main room, his eyes glance around quickly for a head of silky brown hair and a purple dress. His head looks around rapidly and anyone who saw him probably thought that he looked crazy. He spots Junghyun and Yeri getting another drink at the bar and he swiftly walks over towards them.

“Hyung,” Jungkook speaks quickly, shaking his brother’s shoulder.

“Huh? Jungkook, you okay?” His brother notices how ill Jungkook looks. Face pale, hair messily pushed around, uneasiness in his large eyes.

“Have you seen a girl,” he pauses trying to slow down, “Purple dress, kind of ashy brown hair to here,” he demonstrates the length with his hands. Junghyun looks at Jungkook like he’s crazy. Hell, maybe Jungkook is going crazy.

Junghyun shakes his head, “No I haven’t. What’s up?”

“I may have seen a purple dress going that way,” Yeri points her finger towards the other side of the large room. “Jungkook are you sure you’re okay?”

He doesn’t even give them one more glance before he thanks Yeri quickly, turning on his heels to head that direction. He nearly trips on his feet trying to get across the masses of people congregating. The ballroom has a couple hallways that lead off into other rooms and he decides his luck, checking in and out of the rooms. He’s coming up empty until he stops dead in his tracks, a back clad in purple facing him, talking to another man with blonde hair.

Suddenly, the blonde looks at Jungkook from over her shoulder and she follows. Her eyes meet Jungkook’s and he fills his breath hitching, his stomaching rolling once again.

“Hello?” The blonde asks curiously.

“Hi,” Jungkook steps forward. His hands are buried deep in his dress pants so they can’t see the way they shake with every breath.

“Yoongi, will you get me another drink please?” The girl speaks looking back at the man. He nods, settling not to say anything else as he brushes past Jungkook.

The girl stands awkwardly, her finger rimming an empty wine glass slowly. Jungkook can barely look at her but something is compelling him to. He can’t take his eyes off of her—she’s beautiful. He slowly walks towards her with some hesitation. She finally meets his eyes again and she visibly breathes in deep through her nose, her chest rising.

“Hi,” Jungkook says again.

“Hi,” she says with a low tone. She bites her lip nervously and she suddenly looks around the room—anywhere but him. “This place is really beautiful isn’t it?”

Jungkook follows her lead, eyes glancing around the room too, “Yeah, it is.”

“Your parents know how to put on a party,” she muses with a small laugh. Goddamn, he thinks, she is so beautiful. So, she knows exactly who he is.

“This is nothing compared to some other years,” he gently smiles when her lips turn up, her cheeks getting bigger with her own smile.

A silence falls between the two of them. She sways in her heels trying to relieve the pain in the balls of her feet.

“It’s you isn’t it,” Jungkook speaks first. She looks up at him, still saying silent. “You’re Rose?”

She dips her head, some of her hair falling in her face. She nods slowly, “I can’t believe you’re here,” she whispers and she almost sounds sad, perhaps broken? “After all this time,” she adds.

She looks at Jungkook like he’s her whole universe. Oh how he wishes he could say the same thing about her—it’s what this beautiful girl deserves. She deserves someone whose heart beats for them and them only. That wasn’t Jungkook—he had you and god how much he wanted to spend his life with you only.

“When did you find out?” He asks keeping his voice low and steady so his nervousness won’t show through.

“When I was fourteen,” she says. His heart sinks even further for this girl. His name had been engraved upon her skin for 8 years.

He doesn’t say anything else, opting to look down at his feet. The tension is there—the tension the universe gives soul bonded people. He feels his tie suffocating him again and he reaches up to loosen it again, to no relief though.

Suddenly, Rose steps forward, grabbing Jungkook’s hand to move it away from his collar.

“Let me help,” she says and he swears his heart stops beating when her delicate fingers touch his. Rose manages to undo his impossibly tight neck tie from his mother, retying it just as fast, but a lot more comfortable for him and his neck. Suddenly, Jungkook is glad you were unable to come to Busan with him.

“Thanks,” he laughs, “It’s been suffocating me all night.”

“I could tell,” she returns a chuckle, her palms resting on his chest. She’s just as nervous as he is—he can see the way she breathes unevenly being this close to her.

“I’m Jungkook,” he says.

“Rose.”

“Did you have a good Christmas?” You ask Jungkook as you step into his apartment. If possible, Jungkook came back with thrice as much stuff as he left with and you wanted to help him unpack.

“Pretty good,” he says simply, “I think my parents were disappointed you weren’t there,” he chuckles lightly. Jungkook’s roommates were still back home, not coming back until the new year, so you were going to stay with him to keep him company.

“Well, one day I’ll meet them,” your eyes search for his and he seems somewhat off. He hasn’t said much since you’ve picked him up from the train station. His eyes have looked a little lost, unsure of where to look.

“Yeah,” he shrugs off his coat and begins to unzip one of his 3 suitcases. You unzip a second, noticing how different his clothes smell.

“I see your mom did your laundry?” You quirk an eyebrow at him. He glances at you briefly, a small smile playing on his lips.

“Of course, what kind of son would I be if I didn’t bring all my laundry for my mom to do?”

Small conversation is said between the two of you as you unpack, fold, and hang up his clothes. You can’t help but notice the luxury men’s wear tags in the pants and shirts you hang up.

“What do your parents do Jungkook?” Your thumb brushes over the thick material of a new coat he received as a gift.

He’s hesitant to speak but he decides to tell you anyways, “My dad is president of a large company back in Busan. You know my mom is an artist,” he says and you recall the days he’s spoke highly of his creative mother.

Ah, you think, now you understand where the wealth comes from.

“I don’t like telling people because I don’t want people to think I’m some spoiled snob,” he laughs at the thought.

“Babe, you’re the farthest thing from that. You know work hard for things you want, what does it matter what anyone else thinks,” you hang the last piece of clothing from his suitcase up and he watches you intently.

He leans against his desk, arms crossed as he watches you carefully.

“Wanna see something I got,” he says clearing his throat as you look him in the eyes. His eyes quickly look away from yours, unable to face you fully just yet. You nod when you notice his eyes light up as he rummages through his duffle bag to pull out a new camera.

“Holy shit,” you admire the piece of technology as he holds it carefully in his hands. “Who got you this?”

“My brother if you could believe it,” he sounds like he doesn’t even believe his brother was capable of gifting him such a nice present.

“Damn,” you mutter, “Have you used it yet?”

He nods, “I played around with it at the beach before I left,” he says looking at your subtle smile. “Here, lemme take a picture of you,” he smiles a little wider.

“What? Jungkook I look disgusting,” you step away from him. Your hair is thrown up on your head, no makeup, and an oversized ratted turtleneck covers your frame.

“Baby come on you’re beautiful,” he pouts while adjusting the lens and other settings. “Please I wanna remember this.”

You furrow your eyebrows at him, “Remember what? The remnants of my illness that’s made me look crusty for days now?”

He laughs at you, “Sure, whatever you wanna call it,” he holds up his camera to see the lighting on you. “Sit down and scoot back,” he commands to you. You do as he says, sitting on his bed and scooting so your back is hilt against the wall.

“Here?”

He nods, “Mhm,” he focuses on adjusting the last of what he needs to before he says, “Smile babe, you’re on camera.”

You give him a glare before your features soften, giving him a small smile as you look directly into the lens. Your eyes meet Jungkook’s through the lens and he feels his chest tighten. He hated this—he was so in love with you he couldn’t stand the thought of losing you. You were his present and future—he didn’t want anyone else. How could the universe break him like this?

He snaps a couple photos before looking at them in the small frame. A small smile lets loose on his lips as his heart palpitates for you. He feels your eyes watching him closely and you’re unsure why—despite his smile—he seems so sad and so unsure.

Whatever is bothering him, you could only hope that he would open up to you soon and not suppress his feelings.

Jungkook’s only hope right now is cherishing these moments with you because as he has come to learn in the past few days—nothing good ever lasts.

Your phone was buzzing and buzzing annoying you to your core as you tried your best to shove your dangly earrings in your ears. You look down at the caller ID and you roll your eyes with a groan.

“Fuck Taehyung we’re coming!” You half yell at your phone that was still buzzing on your desk. Hearing ruckus in your room, Jungkook peeps in.

“You good babe?” He asks taking notice of how your room is practically flipped upside down. Clothes and jewelry are sprung around and the dress you have decided to wear isn’t even zipped yet, your lower back fully exposed to him.

“Yes,” you say finally slipping the plastic backs on your earrings. You look over your shoulder at Jungkook, heat rushing to your face when you realize how good he looks tonight. “Will you zip me up?”

He nods taking a step towards you, his fingertips cold against your skin. He slowly zips the beaded material up your back slowly not wanting to catch any strings. When he’s done, he wraps his arms around your front pulling you close to him.

“You look beautiful,” he smiles into your neck and you keen into his arms, your feet already blistering in your heels.

“You look sexy,” you muse with a giggle. He turns your body around to flush against his front and he quickly leans down to capture your lips. He’s slow and gentle, wanting you to know how much he cherishes you. He’s careful not to put a hand in your hair knowing how frustrated you were trying to fix it right, so he cradles your neck in one of his hands as you lean into him deeper.

You jump slightly in his arms when your phone starts buzzing again. Jungkook steps away from you and you groan loudly again.

“Remind me to kill him when we get in the car,” you punctuate as you grab your bag and the baby blue coat Taehyung gave you.

“Will do,” Jungkook gives you a wink before grasping your hand into his tightly.

New Years Eve was always a fun time in your friend group, especially at your age. Ever since you started university, you and Taehyung had made it tradition to go to one of the fancier bars in your area for the special occasion. Only having to pay an upfront free—it meant an open bar, free music, and a damn good time.

“Goddamn Y/N,” Taehyung says as you’re waiting in line to get in the bar.

“What? Is there something on my face? My teeth?” You panic looking at your best friend.

“No,” he pauses looking at your date up and down, “You really lucked out didn’t you.”

Jungkook suddenly laughs as his comment and you swat Taehyung’s head.

“Hey back off buddy,” you say wrapping your arms around Jungkook’s torso, “He’s mine asshole.”

“And you’re mine,” Jimin eyes Taehyung playfully. Taehyung had already drank half a bottle of champagne in the car ride from your apartment so he was definitely feeling frisky. It was absolutely freezing outside tonight and Jungkook made sure to keep his arms around you as you waited and waited outside.

“What’s going to be your drink of choice tonight Kook?” You look up at your boyfriend who looks so unbelievable handsome you could cry.

“Hmm, I’m thinking whatever will get me very drunk. Perhaps whiskey?”

Your face contorts at the mention of the dark liquor. Too many bad memories with that one.

“Lemme guess,” Jimin says, “You’re going to down about five green tea shots and then switch over to vodka soda with a splash of cranberry juice.”

Your eyes widen, slightly perturbed, “Am I that basic of a bitch?”

Jimin nods once, “Babe I’m a bartender, we can see girls like you coming from a mile away.”

“Ugh, fine you got me. But maybe instead of vodka soda I’ll just do a flat.” Truth is, you hadn’t drank since your sick spell over Christmas and you were more than ready to get drunk.

A few more minutes and you’re in the crowded bar. You stay close to Jungkook, his hand secured around yours as you make your way to the bar. As expected, you order green tea shots and Jungkook lives up to his previous statement—ordering a whiskey sour to start his night.

You’ve never seen this many people here before. It’s loud, hot, and crowded but it’s everything you could want for New Years Eve. Besides, what’s the fun in going out if it’s not going to be a little chaotic?

After a few drinks, Jungkook finds himself relaxing as he dances close to you. He’s happy right here and right now, but he can’t fully let go—his mind occupied of another woman. He hates himself for doing this, but what is he supposed to do? He’s careful around his arms, making sure his watch stays put and he sleeve doesn’t venture too far up just in case.

Your smile is wide and you feel like you’re on cloud nine. Sure, it was scary now that you were starting your last semester of college in a week but since you had Jungkook—you felt more secure in whatever life decides to throw at you than ever.

“I love you,” you say to Jungkook. It’s simple but you could tell him every minute of everyday and not get tired of it.

“I love you more,” he says. He’s honest and he only hopes you can’t see the deep sadness in his eyes. He kisses the tip of your nose and you scrunch it up at the feeling. “Do you want another drink?” He asks.

You nod, “Yes please.”

“Vodka cran?”

You nod once again, “I’ll be with Taehyung over there.”

Jungkook leaves you behind, walking back towards the bar. If he really was going to try to forget his worries—he was going to need something stronger.

“Two shots of whiskey please,” he says. He’ll get your drink when he’s finished so the ice won’t water it down.

“I didn’t take you for a whiskey guy,” a voice comes from his left and when he looks, he feels his whole world stopping.

“R-Rose?” He blinks, making sure he’s seeing correctly.

“I thought it was you over here,” she smiles asking the bartender for a shot of tequila. “How are you?”

He’s speechless. How? Right now?

“Doing well, how are you?” He asks trying to seem sly. God he could only hope that no one he knew, especially you, saw him right now.

“Same, I’m mentally preparing for my hangover tomorrow,” she laughs before downing her shot quickly.

He smiles, “I feel that,” he downs his first shot. It’s hot and it’s burning his throat. “Listen I’ve been meaning to text you but—“

“Don’t worry about it,” she waves her hand, “I mean what are the odds of us being here together? That’s worth more than a text right?”

He swallows, “Y-you’re right. I didn’t know you lived here.”

She nods, her gaze heavy and somewhat obscene, “I go to the all girls university in the area.”

“Ah, I see,” Jungkook says glancing around. Thankfully the copious amount of people have shielded him from anyone’s view.

“Are you here anyone tonight?” Fuck.

“Just some friends,” he says smoothly. “You?”

“Same. My roommates made me come, but now I’m glad I did,” she smiles brightly and Jungkook can himself falling deep into the hole again. Fuck the fucking universe.

“Me too,” he says before he can catch himself. Her eyes glance down to his lips before she looks back up at him.

“Well, I need to get back to my friends before we get fully separated,” she smiles again, “Come say hi if you see me again,” she winks.

He nods, his eyes wide and mouth dry. “Will do.”

He downs the second shot as she walks away, his eyes unable to rip from her frame. Jungkook was in deep shit—no doubting that. There was only so much longer he could keep up this facade. He was heartbroken to the core and as much as he wanted to be selfish and forget about the name attached to his wrist—that wasn’t plausible. It was a reality he had to face sooner or later.

“Fuck,” he says, ordering your drink before he forgets and another shot of whiskey for the hell of it. There was no getting Rose off his mind now but he could at least try. He knew one thing though—once the clock struck midnight, he was ripping you out of this bar faster than a racehorse.

“Oh my god thank you,” you drunkenly smile up at Jungkook when he comes back with your drink. In your intoxicated state, you don’t notice Jungkook’s demeanor change as much as other people do. Specifically Jimin, who is standing off from your side, eyeing Jungkook up and down. Jungkook looks nervous, tense, and unsure about his surroundings. Jimin was curious about what happened to him in the last five minutes of him being gone.

“Oh shit you guys, it’s almost midnight!” Taehyung yells throwing an arm around Jimin’s shoulder.

“What are you gonna wish for?” You gaze up at Jungkook as he throws an arm around your frame protectively.

“Is that a thing babe?” He questions, a small smile playing on his lips.

“Of course it is!” You say, your expression wide and full of disbelief. “I mean I always do it.”

Jungkook leans down and pecks your forehead, his vision fuzzier now that the 3 shots of whiskey have been through his system, “Well I’ll make a wish then, just for you.”

“You better,” you wiggle your eyebrows at him. The clock hits 11:59 PM and the countdown to the new year begins.

Jungkook’s grip tightens around you, afraid that if he lets go you’ll find out his deepest secret and run away from him forever. You lean your head on his chest, unknowing of anything that’s bothering him deep down. You inhale his scent, his laundry and cologne intoxicating you even further.

Ten… nine… eight… seven… six… five… four… three… two… one!

You look up at Jungkook with another beautiful smile and he leans down to close the short gap between you two. The cheers around you drown out as you focus on each other. One of your hands pulls him down from the back of his hair closer to you, smiling into the kiss.

You wish for nothing to change—you were happy and had your partner—that’s all you could ever wish for.

Jungkook wishes for things to change—to go back to normal—but he was afriad that there wasn’t going to be a normal for you two ever again.

Jungkook makes love to you that night like you have never experienced. Every kiss, every touch, every breath is so slow and calculated. He thrusts deep and hard into you, hitting your cervix with each snap of his hips. You both are drunk but if anything that makes it all the better. You two are fully relaxed in each other’s arms and it was just you and him in that moment. He makes you come two, three, and by the fourth time you can’t breathe. His hands grip your waist and under your ass pushing himself possibly deeper into you.

You hold his face close to yours as he drowns out your half screams and moans with his lips. When he finally comes after holding back to relish each second of his cock being inside of you, it’s the most glorious orgasm he’s ever had.

“Fuck—“ you cut him off with your lips as he stills inside of you. “I love you,” he breathes out heavily, collapsing on his elbows.

“I love you,” you whisper back.

He kisses your collarbone and around your neck, trying to hold back his tears threatening to fall.

“I love you more,” is the last thing he says that night before you two drift off into sleep. He means every word.

University starts back up a couple weeks after New Years. Your final round of classes were starting off great—most of them being bullshit electives. You were going to enjoy your last semester here and you refused to waste yourself away in school work before hitting the “real world.” You didn’t have any classes with Jungkook or Namjoon this semester which was somewhat of a bummer but you would survive.

Jungkook wasn’t doing good to say the least. He was stressed more and more each day. He barely had a good nights sleep in weeks—waking up every few hours thinking about two very different girls in his life. He had begun to converse with Rose over text message so he didn’t seem like a grade-A asshole. Every time he sent or received a text back, his stomach churned and his heart yearned. He couldn’t help himself—this is how the universe works. It was the hardest thing for him to keep a secret like this from you. He hated lying to you and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could do it.

He turned to his photography more than ever in the past few weeks. His hobby slowly becoming his life to distract him from his actual problems. It’s how he found himself early out in the morning, before 7 AM to be exact, shooting the sunrise from a river about ten minutes from his apartment. He was playing with his new toy and lenses that Junghyun had gifted him, loving the camera the more shots he snapped. He didn’t have class until noon and he couldn’t sleep and he couldn’t think of a better way to pass the time.

It was quiet and peaceful. He loved the countryside and this spot reminded him of back home. It was freezing to say the least and he quickly threw on his gloves before he went through his recent captures.

“Jungkook?” His name leaves a female and his chest twists—recognizing who it is immediately. He looks away from his camera, Rose approaching him from his right. She’s wearing leggings and a thick jacket with running shoes.

“H-hey,” he drops his camera some, “What are you doing up this early?” He asks as she stops in front of him.

“I could ask the same to you,” she smiles breathing heavily. She looks down at his camera before looking back up at his face, “I couldn’t sleep so I decided to go on a run to clear my head.”

He nods slowly, “The best way to clear your head indeed,” he muses. “Same though, to answer your question. Couldn’t sleep and I figured I would come takes some pictures.”

She hesitates before asking her next question, “Can I see?”

Jungkook doesn’t answer immediately, looking down at his camera nervously.

“O-only if you want to though,” she adds picking up on his secluded frame.

His eyes soften and his shoulders drop, “No, it’s fine, here.” He clicks around the buttons to bring up the most recent pictures of the sunrise, the river, and it’s reflection.

“Wow,” Rose whispers, smoke following her words as they hit the cold air as he clicks through each one, “These are great Jungkook.”

He smiles shyly, glancing down her frame, “Thanks.” She’s shorter than you are, her head barely hitting his shoulder.

“Have you been taking pictures for long?” She looks up at him when he’s done showing the pictures.

“A few years now,” he says, “It’s my favorite thing to do with my free time.”

“Well from what I can see you’re really talented,” she smiles, “You should do it professionally.”

He blushes, “A man can only wish,” he laughs, fog coming from his lips too.

A silence falls between the two of them. Jungkook isn’t sure what to do and Rose looks around the area, only a handful of people in the surrounding vicinity.

“Hey I was about to go to this café down the street, wanna come with?” She asks. Jungkook is taken aback by her offer. He notices a sadness behind her eyes and he bites the inside of his cheek before nodding slowly.

“Yeah, that’d be nice.”

The café is small and quiet. It smells of espresso and pastries. Jungkook orders himself a coffee with cream and sugar while Rose decides to get some type of iced drink.

“It’s below freezing and you’re drinking iced coffee?” He quirks a brow at her as they sit down beside the main window.

She shrugs, “I love iced coffee more than I love myself.”

He smiles, sipping on his hot coffee slowly not wanting to burn his tongue. Another silence falls between them and Jungkook takes this time to study her more. She’s petite and gorgeous. She’s the type of girl he grew up crushing over. In the few conversations they’ve had, he knows they are very much alike. Each day talking to her and seeing her pop up in random places in his life proved to him this wasn’t a fluke. Rose was his soulmate and Jungkook was hers. That’s the fucking reality and it fucking sucks for him. He could see himself falling for Rose quicker than anyone else before—that’s what is supposed to happen anyways. But he had you—he didn’t want anyone else. You were his end all be all, not Rose.

“Jungkook,” she speaks lowly, “Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Are you seeing someone right now?”

Her question makes his heart rate speed up.

“W-what?” His mouth is dry despite the coffee, “H-how—?”

“One of my friends on New Years saw you leave with a girl,” her voice breaks off. Shit.

“I,” he pauses, unsure of what to say, “It’s complicated.”

Complicated?! He was in a committed relationship that was approaching 6 months!

“I’d rather you tell me the truth than lie Jungkook,” she says. “We’re soulmates, we’re supposed to open up to each other.”

He furrows his eyebrows deeply, “It’s not that easy Rose. I just met you almost month ago.”

His words cut her deep but she stands her ground.

“I get that but,” she pauses, “I just don’t want you and whoever you’re seeing to be hurt. I’m sure you knows what happens when—“

“Yes. I know,” he says. He’s already seen it—you’ve already experienced it. The constant up and down sickness from you was just one side effect of a bonded soul that stays with one who isn’t bonded to them.

“Do you love her?” She asks.

“With everything in me,” he answers honestly. She looks away from her soulmate, unsure of how to feel. She had been waiting for him for 8 years. She was expecting her happy ever after. The last thing she thought would happen is that her soulmate would be in love with someone else. Processing this information was going to difficult for her and she couldn’t begin to imagine what Jungkook was going through right now.

“Have you told her?”

He shakes his head slowly, “No.”

She purses her lips, squeezing her cup a little too hard, “I’m not telling you how to go about this Jungkook, but if you really loved her, why are you continuing to hurt her?”

“Taehyung we have to talk right now,” Jimin says into his phone.

“Baby it’s not even 8 AM,” Taehyung’s morning voice is deeper than his actual voice.

“No—like Taehyung it’s urgent.”

Taehyung is beginning to worry what could possibly be going on.

“Is everything okay?” He asks sitting up in his bed, pushing the hair from his face.

“No,” he says, “Not at all.”

Jimin hangs up the phone and makes his way to Taehyung’s apartment. He half jogs, unable to keep up with his feet. Jimin’s mind is racing as he begins to piece his suspicions together.

“Good morning,” Jimin enters the apartment, a shiver going down his back as he steps into the significantly warmer apartment. Jimin glances around the apartment, his eyes frantic. “Y/N isn’t here, is she?”

Taehyung watches his boyfriend with tired eyes like a hawk. “No, why would she be here?”

Jimin nods quickly, “When did she first get sick?”

“Whoa, Jimin what’s going on?” Taehyung holds his hands up, his brain still not fully functioning.

“Just answer the damn question.”

“Uh, Christmas morning, early in the morning.”

“And has she been sick since then?”

Taehyung furrows his eyebrows, “Um, she mentioned being sick the day after New Years. Jimin this is stupid, she was hungover both days—“

“Do you know who this girl is?” Jimin pulls out his phone, pulling up a picture of Jungkook and a girl neither of them knew sitting at a small cafe across from each other.

“Where did you get this?” Taehyung asks taking his phone to zoom in on the pic.

“This morning,” he says, “I went to the gym and saw those two together.”

“What does this mean? Is Jungkook cheating on Y/N?!” Taehyung feels himself begin to get angry, handing the phone back to Jimin.

“Well according to Hoseok, the bartender from New Years I sometimes see around asked who the girl Jungkook was cuddled up to at the bar on New Years… and it wasn’t Y/N.”

Taehyung’s face clenches, “W-what? I don’t understand what you’re getting at Jimin. Is Jungkook cheating on Y/N?” He asks again.

“Taehyung, don’t you get it?” Jimin asks running a hand through his hair, “I study this stuff for fucksakes! This,” he holds up his phone of the picture again, “She’s Jungkook’s soulmate, Tae.”

His mouth parts open, “H-how are you so sure?”

“I don’t know the full story but I’m guessing a name came up on Jungkook over Christmas and destiny brought them together after being apart for so long…”

“A name? Jimin, Jungkook is 22 like Y/N… they don’t—“

“Late bloomers—it’s rare, but it happens Taehyung.”

“Fuck,” Taehyung breathes out, fully awake now, “So Jungkook has a soulmate and hasn’t told Y/N I’m assuming.”

Jimin nods, “I’m sure of it. She needs to know Taehyung—it’ll only get worse for her the longer Jungkook stays with her,” his voice trails off. Jimin cared for you as much as anyone close to you and he knew the consequences of tangoing with someone else who was soul bonded.

“I’m gonna kill Jungkook,” Taehyung grips his hair harshly, “When should we tell her?”

Jimin hesitates but speaking after thinking about what could happen to you the more Jungkook hides his secret, “The sooner the better.”

“Babe I don’t know how to do this,” you whine as you stares at a knife and a half open salmon. Jungkook laughs at your attempt to filet the fish for your dinner together.

“It’s not that hard Y/N,” he says pointedly, coming to aid your aid. In one motion, Jungkook manages to remove the skin from the fish.

You roll your eyes at him, “Why are you so fucking good at everything?”

“I’m just that talented,” he gives you a side eye before throwing the fish into the marinade. “Are you sure you want to salmon by the way? I know you’re still not feeling the best.”

“Jungkook it’s fine—I’m not going to get sick from this,” you hoped at least, “Plus you love it and I wanted to do something special for our anniversary.”

It was true—today marked your sixth months with Jungkook. January was brutally cold and quickly passed. Now the beginning of February wasn’t any warmer, but it did mark that spring was coming soon.

You couldn’t believe you had been with Jungkook for sixth months. Six months had come and gone like that. It was odd being in a committed relationship for this long when two people weren’t soulmates—but frankly, you were sure Jungkook was your soulmate so it didn’t really matter anyways.

As Jungkook watched you whip up some rice and veggies to go on the side, he couldn’t help but feel guilty. Guiltier than fuck. It had just been over a month since he meet Rose and to put it shortly—the universe was fucking trying it. No matter where he went, she always seemed to be there. They texted at least a few times everyday, obviously keeping it to himself. Rose was being patient, as she was trying her best to understand Jungkook’s situation, though he had a gut feeling she didn’t want to wait around much longer for him. Time was running out for Jungkook and it was running out faster than he ever wished it do be.

You and Jungkook finish and eat dinner together on the couch. Sure he had a small dining room table but it was tradition for the two of you to cuddle up on the couch together for your meals. Plus, his roommates weren’t home so you may as well make yourself comfy.

“What are you thinking about?” you ask Jungkook when he goes silent for a few moments. As much as you loved Jungkook, you knew something had been bothering him for weeks that he hadn’t opened up to you about. If it was something he really wanted to open up with you about, he would have already and you felt it wasn’t your place to prod. When he was ready, he would be ready you suppose.

“Hm?” his doe eyes look into yours before glancing away, “Nothing much… I just can’t believe we’re graduating in three months,” he laughs shaking his head in disbelief.

You agreed with him, “Crazy right… are you scared?”

He looks down at your legs that are draped across his, “Yeah, I am.”

A look falls on his face that you can’t read. He’s blank on the outside but you’re sure deep down whatever he’s thinking about is torturing him.

“Jungkook,” you nudge him, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” he asks with a grimace.

“I don’t know,” you shrug, “I just feel like something has been bothering you.”

He bows his head and you’re sure he’s about to be fully honest with you until he says, “I’m just stressed babe.”

You narrow your eyes at him. Stressed you can believe—but what? School? Family? Us?

“If you don’t tell me what’s wrong I can’t help you Jungkook,” you say. You can visibly see his jaw clenching as he grinds his teeth.

“If I wanted you to know don’t you think I would fucking tell you Y/N?” he snaps and it makes you jump in your position, “Don’t be so goddamn nosy if it’s none of your business.”

Jungkook stands up from the couch and your mouth parts at his words. Not only are you taken aback, but you can’t believe Jungkook actually spoke to you like that.

“Don’t fucking talk to me like that,” you stand up and make your way towards him. He’s lean against the counter, his head down. “Jungkook, hey, what the fuck?” you ask him, beginning to get more and more frustrated as each second passes.

He lifts his head to look at you, a pained expression on his features, “Look I’m sorry—“

He’s cut off by heavy knocks on your door. Neither of were expecting anyone and if it was his roommates, they would have just used their keys. Your eyes follow Jungkook when he goes and opens the door. What happens next goes by so fast you weren’t even sure it happened until Jungkook is stumbling backwards, a groan emitting from his lips.

“Taehyung?!” you nearly scream rushing over to Jungkook, “What the fuck?! What are you doing?!” Taehyung walks into the apartment with Jimin close behind him.

“Ow, fuck man,” Jungkook holds his cheek in pain. Taehyung didn’t look like he had much power but he just proved himself wrong.

“Have you told her yet,” Taehyung speaks, looking straight at Jungkook, “Or are you still lying to her?”

You look between the two of them, your mind racing and confused.

“Told me what? Taehyung what the fuck are you doing, are you crazy?!” you yell at him again.

Jungkook and Taehyung continue to glare at each other. Jungkook notices Jimin staring too and he knows—it’s over.

“Not right now Taehyung,” Jungkook says angrily. You whip your head over Jungkook again. What’s going on?!

“Told me what?” you ask looking back over at Taehyung and then Jungkook again, “Told me what Jungkook?!” you raise your voice at him.

“Y/N,” Jungkook says, his eyes full of a wave of sadness. Your heart begins to race, your hands clammy and you feel like you might get sick again.

“What’s going on Jungkook?” you feel tears begin to well in your eyes. You know something isn’t right, otherwise this would not be happening right now.

“I was gonna tell you,” Jungkook’s voice breaks off as he comes closer to you, taking your hands in his, “I just didn’t know how.”

You feel a tear come down your face, “Baby what’s happening?”

“Hurry the fuck up,” Taehyung spits, “We don’t have all night.”

“Taehyung,” Jimin scolds him from behind.

Jungkook doesn’t break his gaze with you as he lets go of your hands. He pulls the sleeve of his left sweatshirt, moving his silver watch back in the process. When your eyes fall onto it—the name—it feels like you’ve been shot in the chest. Your breathing picks up and you look back into Jungkook’s eyes.

You shake your head, “No, no, no,” you mumble, “This is a joke right? This has to be a fucking joke,” the tears are now falling in rhythmic streams down your face.

“I’m so sorry,” Jungkook says, tears now welling his eyes eyes, “Y/N I love you so much—“

“How long have you known?” you step away from him, feeling light headed and queazy. He doesn’t answer until you press again. “How long have you fucking known Jungkook?!”

“Over a month,” his voice drops and you don’t ever think you’ve felt the sharp pains shooting in your chest until now.

“Y/N,” Jimin speaks this time, “I think you should come with us.”

“You’ve been lying to me all this time?” you ignore Jimin, your voice cracking on the edges.

“Y/N, no baby please,” he steps towards you, his hands finding your face, “I-I didn’t know what to d-do. I l-love you and you only you, nothing will ever change that,” Jungkook pleads. You shake your head, pushing him away from you.

“It changes everything Jungkook!” you yell at him, furiously wiping the tears from your face, “You’ve known about your soulmate for a goddamn month and you thought you could hide that from me?! Are you kidding me Jungkook?!”

Jungkook pulls at the roots of his hair, glancing over to Taehyung and Jimin, “I’m sorry Y/N,” he repeats, “W-we can do something about this, there has to be—“

“No,” you spit, “No, it doesn’t fucking matter anymore Jungkook,” you pause, glancing down at your hands, “There’s no way around this and you lied to me.”

“Y/N, please,” Jungkook’s heart breaks all over again as he watches you gather your things, shoving your feet into your shoes.

“Take this,” you rip the ring that suddenly didn’t mean anything to you anymore off your finger, shoving it into Jungkook’s palm. He stares at the jewelry, his eyes watery and blurry.

“Come on,” Taehyung says holding out his arm for you. With one last glance at Jungkook, you turn on your feet and walk out of his apartment. Jimin shuts the door behind of you two and you don’t even make it to their car when you break down into a full sob, Taehyung wrapping his arms around you protectively. You didn’t just walk out of Jungkook’s apartment—you’ve walked out of his life too.

SPRING

Spring was always your favorite season. The blossoming of trees and flowers always seemed to cheer up your mood. More sunlight meant more happiness and less seasonal depression. The warming weather was always a nice touch after cruel and harsh winters. This year though, you thought no one could hate Spring as much as you did.

Everyday was new challenge for you. When you and Jungkook first broke up—your feelings were indescribable. The mental and physical chest pains you experienced from your heartbreak were sure the worst you could ever have. You were a broken soul—a soul not meant for someone who you loved more than life itself sometimes.

It was hard doing simple things—getting out of bed, doing your laundry, going to class, eating meals—it was all such a burden to you. You cried and cried and cried until you had no more tears left. Sleep was even worse as it meant your unconscious state always drifted into thoughts of Jungkook. There was the time frame where Jungkook called you, left messages and voicemails, tried to contact you through Taehyung and others—but it was all the more painful. However, you couldn’t bring yourself to rid any trace of him from your phone, afraid that you might forget what he looked or sounded like.

No one had ever seen you in such a broken state. You thought you’re mind couldn’t drift into worse territory until one night, you thought about Jungkook and his soulmate—whoever she was. You thought about him loving her, making love to her, taking pictures of her, marrying her, having kids with her, looking at her the way he looked at you—it completely shattered you even more. You don’t remember how much you drank that night. One shot of vodka? Two? Seven? Glasses of wine? It didn’t matter you just needed to forget.

It was when Taehyung found you that night passed out over your toilet, is when he recommended seeing someone. At first, your idea of going to a therapist over a failed relationship seemed silly. But Taehyung made sure that you and Jungkook were more than a college fling—it was real and it was going to take a lot of time to get over.

Your therapist was a nice woman, upper forties maybe, slim face and blonde hair. Your first couple sessions with her didn’t go as smooth as you wished for. She asked you hard questions that you weren’t willing to answer. The third session you went to, you broke down in front of a stranger becoming the most vulnerable you’d ever been.

She knew you loved Jungkook and he loved you just as deeply too. She explained soul-bonding more in depth to you that day. The universe has a reason why it pairs two souls together and why some people are left bare. It’s a phenomenon that’s barely studied but she suspects it’s more common than people want to believe. There’s also a process called soul-breaking, that is rare too but the consequences can bare far greater risks so majority of the people stay away from it.

Overall, you grew up your whole life thinking something was wrong with you. You thought you were a glitch because you didn’t receive a name on your body at 18. But if anything, meeting with your therapist made you realize that nothing was wrong with you. You live a healthy life, have a family, have friends, and you fell in love with someone—and all that is okay.

“I do believe if two people are meant to be together, they will be, someway or somehow,” she said to you one day.

Nearly two months after your break up and one month left until graduation—it was still hard. You had been prescribed antidepressants for a few weeks now and while it did numb your pain for the most part, there were times when thinking about Jungkook just made you want to curl into a ball and forget about your tasks for that day. You told yourself you needed to stop doing that though—you had to be strong otherwise you couldn’t move forward.

“Here you go,” Taehyung plops down a cup of steaming coffee and a bagel in front of you. Your stomach growls at the site.

“Thank you,” you give him a smile, “I’m starved.”

“I bet, you’ve been writing that paper for fucking hours,” he says digging into his own bagel with salmon and cream cheese. You should mention you hated salmon too now.

Taehyung was the greatest friend anyone could have, that you were sure of. Everyday, he called or texted to check in on you. He brought you food to make sure you were eating. Him and Jimin would invite you to the movies or restaurants with them. You refrained from going out to bars with them, too afraid you might run into the wrong people. Nonetheless, without Taehyung by your side, you were sure these past two months would have been much more difficult.

“I got my cap and gown in the mail,” he sings songs scrolling through his phone.

“Jesus Christ Tae, can you believe we’re graduating college?”

He laughs, “I said the same thing when we graduated high school,” he glances at you, “Look at us now bitches!” he holds his arms out dramatically.

You laugh at him, chewing on your food slowly. If there was one positive about being alone the past two months, it meant your illness had gone away completely. Your therapist explained how illnesses of different forms can plague people who play a role in betraying a soul-bonded person. Though you already knew that from your project last semester.

“Did you ever hear back from that company?” Taehyung asks you as you mule over in small conversation.

“Uh yeah,” you smile shyly, playing with the ends of your hair.

“Welllll?”

“I got an offer, if I want it,” your smile widens even more. Taehyung’s mouth drops open before it melts into his signature boxy smile.

“Wait, really? Holy shit, Y/N that’s amazing!”

“Thanks,” you look away from him, heating rushing to your cheeks. It was an exciting opportunity and you felt this was the path for you.

“But wait hold on,” he pauses, “Does this mean… you’re moving? To New York City?”

There’s the bombshell you haven’t dropped on many people yet. New York City. It was always a dream of yours to possibly live there one day. And now with nothing holding you back here, when you applied for the company and they asked a preferred location—you said fuck it.

“Yeah, later in the summer,” your voice is low. Taehyung’s shoulders drop, his happy mood diminishing ever so slightly.

“New York…” he ticks, “Well I’ve always wanted to go there so I’ll have to visit once or five times a year.”

You nod giving him a short wink, focusing on the rest of you coffee and food. Slowly but surely, you were getting better. You knew that your future days would be filled with five steps forward, two steps back but it was the natural process. Once you graduated and moved onto to bigger and better things—you’ll understand that this chapter, while thick and important, was only just a chapter. You have another one already waiting at the starting line to begin.

Jungkook was numb—literally numb as a needle digs in and out of skin, inking a flower onto his forearm. He had this one for awhile, but it still needed the little details to perfect the tattoo to his liking. His first tattoos, the scattered pieces on his hands were the most painful. However, now as he has a good amount of ink on his arm all the way to his shoulder, the pain isn’t there that much. He almost likes the stinging sensation as it gives him something to focus on rather than his intrusive thoughts.

The past few months haven’t been easy on him. Watching you walk away from him hit him harder than when Rose’s name showed up on his skin. And he just let you. Sure, he called and texted and persisted as much as he could but he knew he should have done more. He should have explained in more depth why he did what he did. Yes, it was because he loved you with every fiber of his being, but he genuinely didn’t care if he was meant for someone else. He wanted to be with you despite the situation present. There was surely something he could do to make it right but you were long gone from his life. He was stuck in a hole and he didn’t know how to get out.

Jungkook and Rose saw each other more frequently after his break up. She was so kind and so patient with him, he knew she deserved so much more. She never rushed anything with him, always waiting for his moves. The first time he kissed her, there was tingling deep in his chest. As great as kissing Rose was, she could never compare to you. It was hard and confusing for him to understand. He’s heard all his life—when soulmates cross paths and become intimate with each other, their whole world begins to revolve around them. That wasn’t the case though. As much as he was being pulled in by Rose, he was being pulled into a completely different direction. That wasn’t how bonded souls worked, he knew that much.

“You’re not very talkative today,” his tattooist comments as she wipes away the leftover ink on his arms. Jungkook always preferred a female to do his tattoos as they seem to have more control and a gentler grip.

“Just a lot on my mind,” he shrugs turning his head towards the tattoo needle.

“Women issues?” she raises an eyebrow at him.

“Is it that obvious?” he half laughs.

“My job requires a lot of listening and giving advice,” she says, “I know a damsel in distress when I see one.”

He doesn’t say anything as he watches the way she furrows her eyebrows, getting closer to his skin to add the finishing touches.

“Are you still with, Y/N? Was it?” she then asks. The mention of your name sends his face pale. How many months had it been since he last saw you or mentioned you? One, two, three? All of his days blended together so he’s lost track of time.

He shakes his head slowly, “No.”

She looks at him from the corner of her eyes, “Really? I thought you were gonna marry her?”

He bites down on his bottom lip to hold down his emotions before saying, “That was the plan until the universe decided to throw me bullshit.”

She’s never heard Jungkook sound angry. He’s always been very polite and an overall happy person. Jungkook felt he had a right to be angry and resentful. Unfortunately, that anger and resentment was sometimes projected onto those people around him. His roommates had to walk on eggshells around him now, afraid he might fully break if they said one wrong thing to him.

“When did this happen?” she knows exactly what he’s referring to.

“A few months back, around Christmas.”

“Have you met them yet? Your partner?” she pauses when she notices Jungkook’s jaw clenching as he’s staring at the ceiling now, “You don’t have to say anything if you’re uncomfortable. I just like to think I’m good at giving advice, is all.”

“Yeah, we’ve met,” he contemplates elaborating but does so anyways, “But it’s not this big grand affair that I was told about my whole life. She’s amazing and just my type, but… she’s not her. I like her a lot, but I don’t get the same fiery feeling I had with Y/N.”

“Hm,” she muses, putting down the tattoo gun, “You’re done,” she gives a small smile at him. He holds up his arm to inspect the new ink.

“Thanks, it looks great,” he gives her a small smile as she begins the aftercare process of petroleum jelly and a bandage.

“Can I see your mark?” she asks. He nods before shimmying his watch down his arm, revealing Rose’s name in thin cursive. The mark itself is still very much there, but recently it’s begun to fade and he wasn’t sure why.

“Sorry if I’m giving you too much information,” he laughs feeling slightly awkward as she inspects the name.

“It’s fine, I’m the one that asked,” she chuckles again before she sits back in her chair and begins to lift her own sleeve up. He’s confused as to what’s she doing but when she lays out her hand, he sees it. “This showed up when I was nineteen,” he reads the name that’s barely visible anymore—almost looking like a scar.

“Why’s it not dark anymore?” he asks.

“The same reason yours is fading too,” she looks back at his wrist.

“What do you mean fading?” so he wasn’t crazy—it was actually fading.

“It’s what happens when someone’s heart belongs to someone else,” she says, “I don’t know how to explain it but it occurs more than you think.”

She wraps up Jungkook’s forearm and he’s more confused than ever.

“The world is so fucked up,” he comments closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Heard that,” she nods in agreement, “Come on, I’ll ring you up.”

That day into the tattoo shop was a good day for him. It felt nice to open up about his situation to someone who seemingly understood what he was going through. Yes, the world was fucked up but so was everyone living in it. He didn’t understand the full meaning of his mark fading but he knew in the long run, he would deal with whatever was thrown at him. He had to otherwise he was going to live a long, miserable life. Besides, he knows that you would want him to be happy even though you probably hated him for what he did. He wants the same for you because at the end of the day, if he knew you were happy—he would be too.

. The smile on your face as you threw your cap into the air was probably the biggest and most genuine smile you’ve put on for months. The cheers and clapping from everyone in the room drowned out any tears that formed in your eyes. Of course you were happy to be done with university, but it was very bittersweet. The last four years of your life have been the best and worst possible. Everything you’ve learned here, you were sure would live with you for the rest of your life.

You find your parents and younger sister after the ceremony. The hug with your dad is the best you’ve had in a long time. He squeezes you tight, picking you up slightly.

“Gah, we’re so proud of you Y/N,” your mom dabs the inner corners of her eyes as she watches the seen unfold.

“I can’t believe my baby is graduated,” your dad pulls away, ruffling your hair a bit.

“Hey! Stop I spent time on this,” you step away from him, smoothing down your roots.

“Does this mean we get to go to New York now?” your big sister, Mia asks your parents. She’s pulls you into a hug which you exhale deeply in return. You didn’t get to see your sister as much as you wished, but growing up she was your rock. She was the best role model you could have asked for.

“Of course,” you say, “Only if you bring me bags and bags of those honey butter chips.”

“Anything you want we can bring it, or ship it!” your mom nods enthusiastically.

“What about me?” you turn around at the voice of Taehyung, throwing your arms around him.

“Holy shit Taehyung we’ve done it!” you exclaim. Your parents give you a slide on your language in front of them, understanding the circumstance.

“Mia! What’s up!?,” Taehyung pokes your sister on the shoulder before giving her a quick hug. He holds up his diploma and smiles, “Four years and thousands upon thousands of dollars later, we’ve made it.”

“Do you still wanna go downtown? Grab some dinner?” you ask your parents and they nod excitedly.

“Definitely—you choose wherever,” your father smiles. “Taehyung, you and Jimin are welcome to come if you don’t have any plans.”

“Oh we will definitely be there,” he smiles, “Just text me where you guys are going. I gotta go find the devil and my parents through all this mess. See you later!”

Later ended up being at a nicer restaurant downtown that you had never been to—too broke as a college student to ever think about coming here for dinner. You mulled over conversation with glasses of wine and good food, Taehyung being the star of the dinner table. Jimin smiled lovingly at his partner, slightly jealous that you and Taehyung were now finished with school. He’s got another year left in his master’s program so he’ll be graduated this time next year.

When you’re finally done with dinner, you part with your parents and sister for the evening outside the restaurant when you run into an all familiar face.

“Y/N?”

You turn to the source, “Namjoon?” a smile spreads over your face and you quickly make your way to him and give him a squeeze.

“Congrats!” he smiles when you pull away, looking back over your shoulder.

“You too, I can’t believe we’re done,” you laugh taking in his attire. He’s dressed in a nice button down and dress pants, glasses resting on his face looking dapper as ever. “Oh this is my family,” you introduce the them.

“Nice to meet you,” he smiles, “This is Kaya,” he smiles and you didn’t even realize he had company with him. You introduce yourselves to each other and she’s got to be one of the most beautiful girls you’ve met. They look damn good together.

“Nice to meet you,” you return your own smile.

“Is dinner here good?” he asks all of you. Everyone agrees in response and he looks over to Kaya, “Well, it was good to meet you all. Let’s catch up one day? You’re gonna be around in the city right?”

“A city yes,” Mia interjects crossing her arms, slightly envious of you, “Not this one, but New York City.”

Namjoon raises his eyebrows at you, “Wow, big girl things huh?”

You laugh repeating his words, “Big girl things.”

Namjoon and Kaya leave into the bustling restaurant after some finals words and you’re finally parting ways with your family. You mom and dad give you another bone crushing hug before they have to go back home. Mia looks at you with a sadness in her eyes and you furrow your eyebrows at her.

“What’s wrong?” you ask her as she hides herself in her shell.

“I don’t want you to leave,” she pouts, slumping her shoulders.

“I still have a few more months home,” you give her a smile, “And I promise you can visit me and I’ll come back as much as I can.”

“Promise?” she holds up her pinky. You link your pinkies together before nodding your head.

You bid your farewell’s to your family one last time before you’re left alone with Jimin and Taehyung.

“Your sister is funny,” Jimin comments as you begin to walk in the opposite direction of them. Your heels were absolutely killing your feet and you were tempted to take them off but thinking about the dirt and grim on the street made you think otherwise.

“She’s sweet on the outside but damn she can be a handful,” you laugh.

“She’s almost twenty five babe, about to hit her first mid-life crisis what do you expect?” Taehyung says.

Minuscule conversation occurs between the three of you before they have to part ways too. Taehyung and Jimin were meeting up with Taehyung’s parents at a bar just outside the city to celebrate. The sun was now setting, the air warm and sticky as you hugged them off. You were walking back to the parking garage that you had your car when something catches your eye on the way. Downtown was filled with bars, restaurants, boutiques and what nots, but you’ve never seen this before. It was an art studio of sorts, pictures—digital and art canvases—hanging from the windows.

You stared at the plexiglass, a sense of familiarity crossing your mind the longer you stared at the blown up photographs. You take a peak at the hours listed on the door and see that they don’t close for another twenty minutes or so. Curiosity getting the best of you, you swing open the door, silence engulfing you as you step in.

Your heels clink against the hardwood, glancing around the space. It’s quite spacious, pictures lining the walls up and down all the way to the back. A few art pieces are strayed in the middle of the floor. You walk slowly around the gallery, admiring the painted canvases and shots of various things. You pick up there’s different artists and photographs displaying their works and when you get towards the back left corner of the place, you stop in your tracks.

A gallery of scenic pictures ranging from clouds, to the sea, to the cityscapes, and more hang beautifully in thin frames. Something twists inside you as you feel deep down that you’ve seen some of these before you just cannot put your finger on it. It’s when you see a picture to the farthest right when you feel yourself skipping a breath. Your mouth parts when you realize what it it—or who it is. It’s you. It’s black and white film developed, the side of your face looking off into the distance with trees behind you. Your mind flashes back to that day in the park—with Jungkook—a small picnic he set up when you first got together.

“Y/N?” you whip around at the sound of your name.

“J-Jungkook?” his name leaves your lips instantly. He’s emerged from a back room stopping dead in his tracks. You’re speechless. He looks so good—better than you remember. His hair a little longer with blonde tips, a white button up, sleeves rolled up with black slacks that he fills out perfectly.

“H-hey,” he speaks first. His eyes trailing up and down your body quickly. You subconsciously glance down at your frame, the white dress and heels you’re wearing hoping to match how he good looks. “What are you doing here?”

“I—“ you pause looking back at the pictures, “I was just passing by and was curious, I didn’t know this place existed.”

Slowly, he steps closer to you shoving his hands in his pockets. His ears are red and he can’t believe that you’re here, looking at his favorite picture he ever took of you.

“It just opened up recently,” he says getting closer to you, though leaving a considerable amount of space between you two. “I started selling some of my pieces through here,” he explains.

“That’s great Jungkook,” you give him a small smile to hide the hurt you’re actually feeling. It’s been months and suddenly all of your progress seems to have backtracked. He was so beautiful—the most perfect man you have ever met—and he’s standing here before you again. Jungkook can’t believe his eyes either—you’re here, feet away from him, something he thought he’d never see anymore.

“How are you doing?” he asks, unable to take his off you. You can feel him staring holes into you and you can’t bring yourself to look at him just yet.

“I’m good, you?” you continuously stare at his photos, feeling self conscious the more you stand in his presence.

“I’m okay,” better now that you’re here, is what he wants to say, but he refrains. “You look good,” he says and you look over and up at him, meeting his eye contact.

“You too,” you nod, your eyes trailing down to his wrist, not even realizing what you’re doing. His watch still there, hasn’t moved since the last time you saw him. You feel a tingle in your fingertips and chest, unable to hide your awkwardness.

“Y/N,” he stops himself so you’ll look at him again. Fuck, he loves it when you look at him like that. “Would you want to get some coffee one day? Or something like that?” his words are brave and you can’t believe he said them.

As much as you know you shouldn’t—that you might be setting yourself up for further hurt—something between the two makes you say otherwise. Besides, you’ve been hurt enough, what’s a little more going to do?

You slowly with a small smile, “What about right now? A-are you free?”

He glances at his photos with a small smile in return before glancing back to you, his shoulders slumping as if a weight has been lifted from his shoulders.

“Yeah… yeah I’m free.”

#goldenclosetnet #btsgoldnet #heartsforbts #jungkook #jungkook drabble #jungkook scenario #jungkook x you #jungkook x oc #jungkook x reader #jungkook angst #jungkook smut #jungkook fluff #bts smut #bts fluff #bts angst #jungkook oneshot #soulmate au #college au #jeon jungkook

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jaeminzie · 4 years ago

Text

what do you desire? | n.jm

↳ na jaemin x gender neutral!reader

synopsis: a single tutoring session to help a failing na jaemin earned you a ticket to receive whatever you want. so what will it be?

genre: fluff

word count: 2,082

part of ‘the dreamies in hogwarts’ series

“don’t you feel any sympathy for me?!” jaemin’s voice bounced on the walls, making your ears rings for the nth time for the past ten minutes of him following you around campus. “professor vector will kill me if i fail another arithmancy exam!” his voice seems louder than before indicating that he got closer to your moving body.

you groaned as your legs began to feel like jelly after brisk walking the entire school. halting your steps and turning your body sharply to face the distressed boy, making the ends of your blue hinted robe swing into the air. “well, if only you studied-“

“-and that’s exactly why i need you to help me.” the boy dressed in green took a few steps to get closer to you and reached for your hands (which you gladly pulled away from him) with pleading eyes. “i promise i won’t waste your time, i’ll for sure get a good grade if you help me.” that stupid, beautiful smile of his made a small appearance, making you roll your eyes at his act of flattery.

“and what do i get from it?” you crossed your arms and glared him down which made the boy frown. “as a tutor, i need some form of payment.”

jaemin’s head fell back as he let out a laugh, giving you a perfect view of his exposed neck accessorized with a dainty gold necklace that complimented his beauty so well. “isn’t it obvious?” he looked at you with a raised eyebrow, expecting you to know what the hell he was talking about. he continued to look at you until the silence became unbearably long, he scoffed, “you get to spend time with me, of course!”

your mouth gaped open at his words and the seriousness of his face, “goodbye, jaemin.” dropping your arms to your side, you turned away from his body and began walking at your previous speed only to be pulled back when jaemin grabbed your hand and turned you around by your waist.

he immediately removed his hands off of you when he noticed the flare in your eyes. “okay okay, i was kidding.” scratching his neck, jaemin was thankful it was nighttime since you weren’t able to see his crimson red cheeks nor see the way his eyes glistened as he admired your features underneath the moonlight. “i’ll do whatever you want, i don’t care what it is — literally anything your heart desires. promise.” he lifted his pinky finger up and looked at you seriously.

you pondered at his offer and smirked once you realized that jaemin has a meaty wallet while you had a long shopping list of supplies to check off at dervish and banges. “fine.” jaemin’s smile couldnt be contained at your word, you held up a finger to shush his incoherent noises of excitement. “i cannot be seen with you.”

his smile dropped and placed his hands on his waist, “well, that’s insulting.”

“you expect me to be with you in broad daylight when you have an entire cult of students who would kill one another to receive a one-second glance from you?” you roll your eyes when jaemin begins to smirk, feeling his ego inflating. “we meet after hours at the astronomy tower tomorrow night.”

“y/n, if you want to get with me, just tell me — you don’t need to use our tutor sesh as an exc-“

you scoffed and turned around to walk toward the ravenclaw common room, leaving the boy to talk to himself in the empty corridor.

you shake your head to yourself. why, just why are you doing this.

—

two days later, you sat in study hall fighting your heavy eyelids and limp neck. the first tutor session with jaemin consisted of one sided conversations and flirting since the boy cannot get a hint. though, there were times where he’d impress you with his ability to learn things quickly.

your friend nudged your shoulder and ‘pst’-ed at you. “did you hear about last night?” she spoke quietly, making sure not to disturb the people around you.

you looked at her briefly before closing your eyes to gain some sort of relief from your exhaustion. “don't know, and frankly, i don’t care.”

“well, na jaemin from slytherin house has a significant other.”

you giggled to yourself because there’s no way a boy with such a bad game could score a date when you weren’t even willing to have tutoring with him. “yeah yeah.”

your friend whisper-yelled, “and they’re from our house!” your eyes immediately widened. “right! they were seen walking around past bedtime by gryffindor’s head boy, mark lee, when he was told to make sure there were no students awake.”

you sat up straight, fully awake, shaking your head. “you think anyone is stupid enough to walk around hogwarts at night?”

“a ravenclaw at that.” your friend shrugged. “mark only saw jaemin’s face and the blue details of the other’s robe, he sucks at lying so.”

“bogus.” you huffed.

“what?” she gave you a teasing smile. “jealous? you like him or something?”

you fake laughed at your friend and discreetly began writing a note before gathering your supplies and dismissing yourself. you scanned the room, walking your way to the man of the hour and slipped the note on the table he sat alone at. you wasted no time dashing out the hall, making sure you didn’t look suspicious since jaemin had eyes on him every second and you seriously did not feel like being mauled right now.

jaemin watched your body disappear through the doors and frowned at how you didn’t bother to speak a single word to him before leaving. he fiddled with the small piece of paper before opening it up, smiling as he read the words.

astronomy tower, same time. don’t be late.

—

jaemin’s body turned around in an instant when he heard the wooden floor of the tower creaking, already showcasing his smirk. “what do we have here?” he questioned your late arrival when you were so persistent on being on time yourself.

you couldn’t respond as you were trying to catch your breath after enduring the dreadful flight of stairs.

jaemin smiled endearingly at your state, walking up to you slowly, “i’ll let it slide because you’re too cute.” he ended his sentence with a small boop on your nose, still keeping his smile on his face. “what's the occasion, we didn’t plan to study? you couldn’t get enough of me, huh.”

finally maintaining a stable breathing pattern, “you wish.”

jaemin chuckled and wiped his nose with his thumb, “you’re right, i do wish that.” the octave of his voice dropped even lower, making your knees weak and your act harder to play. “i’m guessing you heard the rumors.”

you snapped your head up to look at him. “you knew?” he responded silently with a nod. “aren't you friends with that mark guy?” another nod. “if people find out it’s me, i’ll be dead.”

“when people find out it’s you.” he corrected you.

you let out a breathy laugh and he stood so closely to you that the air hit his face, making the front strands of his hair swing back. “you’re funny.”

his smirk dropped and was replaced with a small smile. “i got an ‘a’ on my exam, by the way.”

your mood shifted at his words, the smile on your face was so bright that jaemin believed the moonlight couldn’t even compete against you. when you realize you’ve been smiling for an abnormal amount of time, you cleared your throat and brushed his shoulder with yours as you walked past him toward the metal railings. “good job.” you rested your elbows on the metal and took in the fresh air and the beautiful view from the tower.

jaemin’s footsteps were slow as he made his way behind you, he stood directly behind you with his hands in his pockets. “thanks to you.” he breathed against your hair, making your heart race. “so, what does your heart desire, y/n?”

you. you thought to yourself.

his hands reached over to lean them against the railing, making his chest press against your back. “i can turn down the rumors if that’s what you really want.”

you tried to stabilize your breathing, you wanted nothing more than to crumble into the floor as you felt your face and neck become warmer. “no.” you spat out, wincing silently at yourself for the impulsive decision. clearing your throat, “it’s fine.”

you couldn’t see but jaemin was smiling as he felt your ragged breathing against his chest, and saw how your fingers nervously fiddled with the railing in front of your bodies. wanting to have more fun and test your buttons, he questioned, “why is that?” he lowered his head so his chin was resting on your shoulder, he could feel the heat of your cheeks radiate and you felt the heat from the tip of his ears touch your bare neck.

“just cause. to save you from trouble.” you mumbled.

“and what about my cult?”

“i don’t care anymore.”

“so you don’t care if i-“ he placed a delicate kiss on the side of your neck. “-in front of them?”

your breath audibly hitched at his actions, and you swore he could feel your heart pounding through your back. you could only hummed at him.

he removed his hands off of the railing and wrapped his arms around your waist, securing his hold on you. “i knew it.” he spoke softly right into your ear.

caressing your body, he moved his hands on your sides and maneuvered your body to face him and placed your back against the rusty metal. “i like you too.”

you laughed at the dreamy eyes he’s giving you and the overflowing confidence in his tone of voice. “you sound so sure of yourself.”

he quirked an eyebrow. “are you saying that i’m wrong?”

you purse your lips at him and chose not to answer his question to tease him.

jaemin’s face moved closer to yours, nose brushing against each other and lips gazing one another. “that’s what i thought.” his lips brushed yours as he spoke, and you could feel the butterflies unleash out of their cocoons and soar through your entire body.

you were prepared to let out a snarky remark but you lost your train of thought once you felt his plump lips engulf your soft ones. jaemin’s grip on your hips tightened as he pulled you closer to him while your hands moved up his torso, chest, and landed underneath his jaw. the movements of your lips never ceased as both of you finally grew tired of hiding your feelings toward each other — well mainly your feelings, jaemin wasn’t the most discreet with his.

the sounds of your lips and heavy breathing filled the tower. jaemin pulled away just to kiss the skin around your lips and down your neck, his hands slithered around and found a place on your lower back. you sighed contently at the sensation of his wet lips against the cold skin of your neck.

his kissing gradually came to a stop, he looked up at you with a tired smile and shining eyes. you both admired the view in front of each other before the tinted red boy pulled you into a hug, hand in your hair while yours caressed his broad back.

“i thought of my wish.” you pulled back from the hug to look him in the eye but kept your arms secure around his waist, jaemin copied your moves.

jaemin looked around, pretending to think. “hmm, what could it be?”

you pinched his side slightly, making his addictive giggle erupt out of him. “my heart desires a date.”

jaemin’s smile grew. “no way, me too. how convenient is that!”

you rolled your eyes at his antics, biting a smile.

“and also for you to protect me from your little cult.” jaemin laughed at your words but both of you knew you were being serious.

he nodded and hummed. “whatever your heart desires, i shall grant it.”

you cringed at his language. “gross, don’t do that.” slapping a hand against his chest while laughing. jaemin brought up his left hand to hold yours placed on his chest, grabbing it, caressing it with his thumb, and bringing it up to his lips to gently place a lingering kiss right on the back of your hand.

“whatever your heart desires.”

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colorseeingchick · 4 years ago

Text

Cheer you up, Calm you down (Iwa, Suna, Kuroo)

Life is full of ups and downs! And the downs can come in all forms. But no matter what it is and how you seek to be comforted, these boys will have your back.

A/N: This is part 1 of a longer series I have planned. All the boys are given different Y/Ns with different personalities and different scenarios. But that’ll become more clear in the next parts, I think. But regardless, I hope you enjoy part 1!

Warnings: Language. These are all meant to be ambiguous as to whether they are romantic or platonic. Interpret as you wish!

Iwaizumi Hajime: with a rambling Y/N

When you got the phone call, your heart dropped. He was… with another girl?

You shouldn’t have cared. You shouldn’t have. You guys weren’t dating or anything. But at the same time, you two had been talking for months. And he went out of his way to tell you that he was going to be ‘with the boys.’ So why did he lie? What game was he tryna play?

You weren’t ready to process the sadness, so instead you decide to break down the anger boiling in your stomach. Which is why you had been fuming over the phone for hours to Iwaizumi.

“Hello?”

“He’s a two timing pig.”

“Who?”

As you explain everything over and speak out your heart, Iwa listens. You noted when the other side of the line went silent, but continued to ramble into the phone.

“Are you driving?” You ask him as you hear a breeze coming from Iwa’s side.

“Just an open window,” he dismisses. You didn’t have too much time to question it. Your answer came when you heard a knock at the door.

“What? What are you… doing here?” pulling your phone down from your face, you let confusion enter your trashed puddle of emotions (mainly dominated by frustration).

“Surprise. It’s been an hour and you’re still mad. And I can’t listen to you forever.” Iwaizumi leans against the doorframe, arms crossing in front of him. “So let’s go.” You saw his shiny motorcycle parked close to the curb of your driveway, teasing you with the notion of a joyride.

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah, anything to get you over this shit. Let’s go.”

As you follow Iwa out, you adjust your weight on the bike, pulling closer to him as he revs the bike. “Don’t squeeze me. Just hold onto my waist, okay?”

Feeling the wind scratch your cheeks and pull tears from your eyes, a smile shines bright on your face. The frustration and anger that constricted your chest had been completely ripped away, the floating feeling in your belly causing bubbly joy to replace it as Iwaizumi guns it on the straight road ahead.

“Better?” Iwaizumi asks you as he tugs his helmet off, parked back on your driveway. You rest your head against his back, hands wrapped around his stomach, a smile plastered on your face.

“Yeah.”

“Good. Don’t waste your energy being pissed about that mother fucker. Not worth it.”

You scoff, smile unfaltering. “You’re right. I’ll just use that energy to bother you instead.” He sighs. But you just know he’s smiling.

“Looking forward to it.”

Suna Rintarou: with a Y/N on a rampage

Pacing your basement hallway, you were absolutely ready to tear a new one to the next unfortunate soul that walked in.

You’d just gotten back from a very long, complicated, messy meeting with a bunch of your teammates and coaches. A teammate who had hated you for seemingly no reason had just spent the last 3 hours trying to accuse you of something you never did. But for those 3 hours you were shocked to find that you had to actually defend you. Of course they realized you were innocent by the end, but they all just let that happen. No one defended you. Not even your ‘friends.’ You were livid, deep in a ‘I hate the world and want to watch it burn’ mood. Hence why you wanted to tear apart whoever was unfortunate enough to cross paths with you.

You were not ready for that person to be Suna Rintarou.

“Suna what the heck are you doing here? Did you see my texts?”

“Y/N-”

“I swear if you didn’t read them I’m gonna be so mad. I literally cannot believe this is even happening right now.” Your voice shakes as you stew in your own anger.

“Y/N…”

“I’ve never been angrier in my whole life I swear, this is unreal, absolutely unreal. Absolutely unacceptable. I literally cannot believe that they’re all absolute-”

You’re cut off when Suna grabs your hand, squeezing it abruptly.

“What the-”

He turns your palm up and places a rectangular item (that he’d been storing in his hoodie’s pocket) into your grasp. After he pulls away, you take a moment to inspect the item.

“The hell is this…” You blink-

And process.

“Why did you give me a snicker’s bar?”

“Because you’re not you when you’re hungry,” Suna deadpans.

“...”

“That’s so not funny, Suna.”

“Then why’re you smiling.”

Unfortunately, he’d got you there. You were no less angry, but the flow of anger had been interrupted by a new flow of amusement.

“Suna I’m being fucking serious right now, I can’t-”

You’re stopped this time by the rough jolt of your body forward as Suna roughly pulls your hoodie over your head, and then squeezes you in a hug.

“It’s shitty, I know. But everything is a lil less shitty with chocolate. Deep breath, eat, and then you can rant to me. I’m caught up on the texts.”

“...thank you.”

“No problem. But break a piece of the snickers off for me, will ya?”

“Aw hell nah this is my chocolate now!”

“Never buying you chocolate again.”

Kuroo Tetsurou: with a Y/N who just needs to get it out

“I’m literally gonna murder him.”

“Ya know, you should really stop staying stuff like that- cuz if he mysteriously dies and they take you to court, I’ll be the one who has to testify that you threatened murder. And I don’t really want that.”

“I know I know- you know I wouldn’t actually do anything but UGH!” You pound the ground against you in a fit of rage while Kuroo watches you, laying down on the hill you both had retreated to.

“I cannot believe him. It’s absolutely insane that he just keeps getting away with this shit and nobody does ANYTHING about it! And then they have the audacity to make me out to be the bad guy?! It’s so freakin’ bogus.”

“They still haven’t done anything about it huh.”

“And they won’t. Surprise surprise. Everyone sucks at holding people accountable once it's their ‘favorite student’ that has all the flaws. I’m so over all of this.”

Kuroo perches upwards at the sound of your voice cracking, keying in on how frustrated and emotionally exhausted you truly were.

“What do you want to do about it?”

“I don’t know. All I want right now is for my chest to stop hurting. This is so frustrating.” You try your best to keep it together in front of him, but he knew better. He knew much better.

“C’mere.” Kuroo wraps his arms around you, burying your face into his chest. “Scream.”

“Huh?” He had to know how odd of a request that was.

“Bury your face in my chest and just like, scream. Yell. Cry. Whatever you want. You’ll feel better. Get it out.”

“...mm…”

And so you did. You muffled your screams into Kuroo’s shirt, your throat going raw, your tears falling down, and his firm hold unwavering. As you pull away slowly, he gives you a firm shoulder pat before checking up again. “Better?”

“Yeah. Better.”

Notes:

Iwa’s is based off my best guy friend who’s a motorcyclist. I fully headcanon Iwa having a bike he HAS THE VIBES.

If you don’t get Suna’s comment please watch this video: here

Kuroo’s situation is not based off a personal one but, the ‘casually threatening murder’ is very much like me. And it makes all my pre-law friends very worried sometimes.

These are all SO SHORT I kinda hate it but expect the next parts to be...much longer lol I suck at concision.

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locktobre · 4 years ago

Text

I’ve already talked about how Anneliese did not agree to be switched and almost died bc of it, but today I want to talk about the Popstar of it all and why I don’t get manipulative vibes from Tori but do from Amelia lol, bc after all those situations are far more similar than any Pauper comparisons that can be drawn

so like, Tori was a huge Keira fan, obviously. and bc Keira was already in Meribella, Tori invited her to the castle. she invited her. Keira could have said no! but Keira decides to go, and that makes sense bc she’d already expressed an admiration and longing to be like a princess, there is literally a whole song about it (and obvs, Tori doing the reverse). and then when they actually meet, they actually talk about their lives and stuff, and their switch basically happens on accident at first bc they were just switching hair and dresses for fun and then realized wait a minute... we look alike. and then Duchess Amelia comes in to drag “Tori” back to the party, and basically it rolls from there and they go thru the rest of the party like that. the kicker for me is that when Tori wants to keep the switch up, Keira objects and points out that she has stuff to do. and Tori acknowledges this and says but if we do it this way it will still work. and then they both agree to it, and then they have a whole song talking about different responsibilities and then they both go off to live each other’s lives. I think it’s very well done, all considered.

but for Amelia... like... the way she even got Barbie to Floravia feels so weird and skeevy! bc like, she went thru her school, she arranged this whole bogus trip, and like... for what? for what, really? she couldn’t have just reached out to Barbie directly? Barbie had no opportunity to really say no to this situation. I mean I guess she could, but if you “win” a lottery picking for a super cool special study abroad trip to another country, who’s gonna turn that down? and then when Barbie’s actually there, Amelia’s just like oh poor me I can’t do anything I want (but I don’t even know what I want) and basically pressures Barbie into switching bc she is unhappy. Barbie also has some unclear ambitions in the movie for like... Fame or whatever, but she wasn’t going to do a damn thing about it bc she is spineless. and the kicker for THEM is that Amelia literally just bails and Barbie has like, no idea what to expect of her day bc Amelia just texted her a list of stuff and was like “lol good luck” before she, let me say again, just BAILED. and I’ve already talked about how stupid it is that we don’t even know what Amelia was DOING all that time, but really... it’s SO stupid.

and UNLIKE Tori, Amelia wasn’t established as like... someone who shirks her duties or doesn’t take things seriously. like, just the opposite in fact. so for her to BAIL on her KINGDOM on like, the EVE OF HER CORONATION is just like... WHAT? What am I SUPPOSED to think about her? It’s not like she was set up as like super tightly wound and we see her having fun for once--bc we don’t really see her at ALL! so Amelia just comes off as like... manipulative and flighty and she just wants to not really do anything, and then to top off this whole mess the movie doesn’t even end with her walking away from her throne that she CLEARLY DOES NOT WANT OR CARE FOR, even tho Johan was literally RIGHT there to take over both countries.

ppl give Tori a lot of crap (rightly) for her frankly mean pranks, but she grows up a hell of a lot during her movie! it ends with her realizing that her kingdom was in dire straits and she had no clue about it, but resolving to actually do something about it. and not just right then, she is planning for the FUTURE. and she’s not even queen yet! her dad’s very much alive and seems to be in good health, so it’s not like she has to step up right then and there. no, she CHOOSES to bc it is the RIGHT thing to do, and she has a moral compass!

what does Amelia do? what does she learn? how does she grow? how does she prove that she’s going to be a good leader? a better leader than Johan? like, okay so we don’t know that Johan would be a good leader, but at least he gives a fuck! at least he CARES! what does Amelia care about? NOTHING! nothing in the real world, all of her problems are fake stupid social media problems that mean NOTHING in the grand scheme of things. not to mention the fact that she’s about to become queen of not just her OWN country that she (presumably) knows the laws and customs and traditions of--BUT A WHOLE OTHER GODDAMN COUNTRY! this never even factors in. not even at the end during the literal coronation does she mention Johanistan. that’s disgusting it’s truly disgusting

and yes, the problems with BPA are writing problems with the whole narrative being basically garbage from the ground up, but I mean, it’s not as if Amelia was given a strong introduction and we could say this is where the writing fell apart. no, this was her intro, this was her movie, and it was a complete travesty. she’s manipulative and cares about nothing but herself and her own image, apparently, and I hate that. I really do.

#mel irl #barbie babbles #patp and popstar and bpa #this got long and ranty but i think i might hate amelia #i think i'm at the point where i can just admit that i find her so shallow and fake and stupid

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sigmadecay · 4 years ago

Note

You said you can info dump about Jonestown massacre? I'm here to learn about Jonestown massacre.

OHOHOHO YES

okay so if I start from Jim Jones’ early life this is literally gonna take me hours to write and probably take you forever to read so I will try to cliffnote the context of....y’know, his life

He didn’t have super present or even very parental parents, his mother worked a lot & his father was a disabled WWI vet. A neighbor took him to church w her family on Sundays and that began his interest in religion. He went to different churches all the time to see what they were about but had a particular interest in the Pentecostal church, it was loud & interactive & joyful but they did get a bad rep for “speaking in tongues”

Jim married his wife Marceline when he was 17 or 18 and she was like 20-21. She was working as a nurse in a hospital that Jim did custodial work in while he was trying to get himself through school. I have a lot of thoughts about Marceline Jones and most of them are “she deserved better” but we will come back to Marceline later.

Fast forward fast forward and Jim & Marcy have a number of kids, their “rainbow family” which consists of one bio child and a number of adopted children I think?? Listen in my defense he ended up with nine (!!! NINE) kids and they’re hard to keep track of but I know Stephan was their biological son and they adopted Jim Jr. who was black and Lew & Suzanne who were Korean which was a bigass deal at the time. More kids cropped up over the course of things but y’know. When Jim founded the Peoples Temple he got the MLK Jr award for racial equality because his church was the first fully integrated church at least in Indiana which was fucking nuts at the time??? Lots of people liked him. It appeared that he was doing good things.

And then shit like faith healings started where he would stage religious healings from cancer and shit and his congregation began regarding him as a deity. Someone would be blessed and would spit out a “tumor” (a piece of chicken liver) or the woman in the wheelchair who got up and walked turned out to be Jim’s secretary. Completely bogus nonsense, but it was a good, integrated church and they all thought he was a good person.

So, (and I’m leaving out details here sorry) Jim starts teasing like an escape to a “promised land” type deal. And he goes to a bunch of places looking for one—he spends time in Brazil especially—until finally settling on Guyana. The Guyanese govt was excited to have Americans coming bc they were at war with Venezuela and it was...sort of like insurance, but yeah. They gave the Peoples Temple a couple hundred acres in the middle of basically the fucking rainforest. And it was touted as like this socialist utopia and shit. It’s work but there’s housing and you grow your own food, and it seemed nice! Especially for people who were so disillusioned with the government and racial inequality. So they move out to Guyana and start to build houses, and shit is pretty alright at first, but...The soil isn’t fertile and almost no food actually grows. The hours are long and the work is backbreaking, not to mention the HEAT, but it’s like, deal-with-able until Jim Jones gets there. At this point Jones is like completely totally paranoid and he’s losing his grip on reality. He’s been doing drugs for years and his sermons have gone from “the US government is bad because it’s capitalist and racist” to “the US government is literally plotting to kill us.”

Some people managed to get out, and formed a group called the “concerned relatives.” They were, you guessed it, concerned relatives of the members who’d been whisked off to the Guyanese wilderness. Lots of people wrote off their concerns because of how many people, namely politicians, liked Jim Jones for his work in racial equality, but the one guy who listened to them was Congressman Leo Ryan, who was by all accounts a Pretty Solid Dude. He didn’t think anything fishy was happening, necessarily, but his whole stance was “I hear you & your concerns, and we should check it out to put your mind at ease! :)”

By this point, life in the Temple is falling! the fuck! apart! Jim Jones has a PA system set to run 24/7 that either play a) recordings of past sermons or b) his announcements happening Right This Second. People work for like 16 hours a day, there are armed guards at the entrance and around the fields to keep people in, the housing is cramped and overcrowded and they do Not have enough food for the almost 1000 people there. They are also getting record low amounts of sleep because Jim Jones, Nutjob Extraordinaire, has gotten into the habit of blaring the air raid siren at god knows what our and calling all his followers into the pavilion for a White Night. Which is, if you can even fucking believe it, a PRACTICE MASS SUICIDE BY KOOL AID.

Talk about foreshadowing.

So anyway, Leo Ryan rolls up to the compound, relatives and an NBC camera crew in tow, and is like “hey what’s up! :)” Jim Jones has been COACHING PEOPLE to tell him how much they love it. It’s fucked up. But okay

So they put on this dinner and a show type deal for the congressman and all the visitors, and Marceline (remember Marceline?) gives them a whole tour and shows them her pride and joy, the school she’d built and helps teaches at, and the medical center, and the daycare, like Marceline ADORES children this cannot be overstated. There are about 300 children in Jonestown and she loves them with her whole heart. ANYWAY

And everyone is having a funky good time, except Jim Jones, whose sanity is coming unraveled like an old sweater and his 950-ish overworked undercompensated cult members

But as Leo Ryan is leaving, someone slips a note to one of the reporters, BEGGING him to get them out of there. And then someone else comes forward. And then another. There are like....maybe 10 people total that come forward? Jim Jones loses his mind, naturally, but Leo Ryan is still like “hey, 10 out of 950 isn’t bad at all! They just miss their families :)” and they get going.

Unfortunately, because the number of people traveling back to the US from Guyana is greater than before, and they came on a small plane, they’re all posted up at the Port Kaituma airstrip waiting for a second aircraft. And this is when shit gets fucking real.

Jim Jones secretly sends his Red Men (read: “guards” with shotguns) to the airstrip to kill everyone because they’re going to give their secrets to the CIA or whatever. So they fucking roll up in this trailer and...open fire. Leo Ryan is killed, an NBC cameraman is killed, some of the defectors and concerned relatives are killed, many of them are wounded.

The Red Men return to the compound and report back to Jones. And then he gets on the PA and tells everyone that the USA’s destruction of them is imminent. He lies and tells them that the pilot will be shot and the plane will go down, and the US government will come into the compound for retribution and kill their seniors and kidnap the children and rape the women. You can hear a recording of this on YouTube! It’s called the Jonestown death tape and it will absolutely ruin your day if you listen to it. Anyway.

People are panicking. It’s time for the real White Night. Jones gets a vat of Flavor-Aid (off brand Kool-Aid) filled with cyanide and narcotics and says “drink :)” and...everyone is...understandably afraid. They’re tired and exhausted and terrified and have no idea what’s true or not. One woman, Christine, argues and pleads for another solution, like running off to the Soviet Union. The entire rest of the compound shouts her down.

So, finally, people drink. Those who won’t, and young children, are injected with it. The death is not painless. People suffer for a long time, and move to the back of the line, lie down, and die. At a reception house in Georgetown, one of Jones’ aides kills her three children and then herself with a steak knife.

A handful of people get out. Maybe five are able to hide, and three of Jones’ sons are away at a basketball game in Georgetown while this is all going down, so they live.

Jim Jones does not drink the poison. Jim Jones shoots himself in the head, and his private nurse does the same.

Marceline Jones screamed, sobbed and struggled until every single child had died, hoping at least one of them would be spared. And when none were, she dried her eyes, resigned herself to her fate, and drank the Kool-Aid.

The 900-something bodies, about a third of which were children, began rotting in the tropical sun almost immediately. Many of them were decomposed beyond recognition by the time the US troops got there. Those unidentified are buried in a mass gravesite in...California, I think? It was the largest loss of American life not due to a natural disaster up until 9/11. The place is still there, though now it’s overgrown, and it’s just...haunting. There’s a number of documentaries on it (recommend) and if you have a really masochistic streak, the Port Kaituma airstrip shooting and the Jonestown death tape audio are both on YouTube the last I checked.

Thank you for indulging me my special interest, and I’m happy to expand on anything here or give more details :3

#ask #anonymice #jonestown #also sorry for the delay. we had dinner guests #kenny.txt

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horrorstoryfanfics · 4 years ago

Text

Summer To Remember: Part Three

So this one has some fluff and a little bit of tension. It also has some Xavier POV at the end. Let me know how you feel about it! If you guys like it then I’ll make sure to write more in the future !

Warnings: Mentions of death, gore, Trevor’s bulge, loads of Xavier being cute, some built up sexual tension, alcohol.

As we got into the cabin Ray was in a beanbag, Montana was on the floor with Chet, and Brooke was seated on the couch. I opted to go sit on the closest bunk, Xavier following and plopping down beside me.

"I'm going to go check on the hitchhiker guy, make sure he's okay." Brooke smiled innocently as she stood up and went out the door.

Montana raised an eyebrow and brushed it off as she looked over her shoulder to me, "So, how do you deal with Margaret as your mother?" Her eyebrow twinged up as she spoke.

"Montana!" Xavier snapped, sending a stern look her way.

She raised her hands in defense as I laughed, his demeanor changing as he saw I took it as a joke. "On a wing and a prayer," I winked as Montana chuckled lightly.

"She's very...." Montana made an implying face as she tried to find the right word.

"Overprotecting, unbearable, over the top, crazy, bogus?" I finished before she could, "Yeah those all pretty much sum her up." I sighed as I shifted a bit.

"She's off her rockers if she thinks I'm gonna listen to that no sex rule." Chet scoffed as he took a swig of his beer.

I raised an eyebrow, "Yeah and who are you fucking?"

"Maybe you if you're lucky," He winked at me before taking a sip.

"As if," I scoffed lightly as I rolled my eyes. "You aren't my type."

Chet looked hurt as if he thought he was every girls type.

"And what is your type?" Montana teased as her eyes quickly darted to the man beside me.

"Well," I started, glancing over at Xavier before looking back at the others, "I have this wicked things for blondes."

My goal was to tease Xavier, there was just something about him that brought upon my attraction. I enjoyed the look of amusement on his face whenever I teased him and I just wanted to make it happen more and more.

Xavier leaned back smugly while sending a shit eating grin over to Chet.

"Montana has more of a chance than you do," Ray joked as he took another sip of beer.

Chet pushed his shoulder, almost knocking the alcohol out of his hand, "Shut up," he sneered. Causing Ray to laugh even more.

"It just so happens that you're also my type," Xavier whispered in my ear, sending cool shivers all over my body. I kept my composure as I played it cool.

"That'll break Bertie's heart," I gasped, jokingly grabbing my heart in shock.

He shrugged coolly, "What can I say, when you find the one you gotta break some hearts."

My lips twinged into a faint smile as I bumped him with my shoulder. He bumped back which started a game of "Who could knock the other over first". And I was determined to win. We kept bumping each other until eventually he grabbed my arms and pinned me to the bedpost. My breath being taken away as I just sat there.

I cocked my eyebrow, "And what're you going to do now?"

He leaned in, no doubt about to whisper a comeback as the door slammed open. He jumped back, letting go of my arms as we all turned to stare at Brooke hurrying her way inside.

"That guy is crazy!" She said out of breath as she sat down on the couch. "He completely wigged out. I think he has a concussion."

"I mean we got him here, made sure he didn't die. Karmically, we're cool." Montana stated casually.

"He kept saying something bad was gonna happen." Brooke said as her voice rose a little in fear.

We all looked over to the door as we heard heavy footsteps approaching. The door opened unexpectedly as a man busted in.

"Hey!" He paused dramatically, "Don't you guys know you're not supposed to be coed fraternizing?"

We all looked around nervously as the man's laughter filled the room. "I'm just fucking with you," He waved his hand dismissedly, "I'm Trevor, the activities director. So technically I'm you're boss but don't worry, I'm not gonna be enforcing any of Margaret Booth's rules for godly living." He dropped his beer into the cooler, "Between you and me, I bet myself fifty bucks I'd bang her by the end of the summer."

"Good luck with that one," I laughed while making a face, "The only one my Mom gives it to is God."

He looked over at me, about to say something when Montana interjected. "Don't I know you from somewhere?"

And this brought on the uncomfortably long conversation that was a battle of Trevor and Montana's sexual tension. Montana bringing up how he was in a Jane Fonda work out video and how he had to be removed because a certain part of him was taking the focus away from Jane. And the knowledge that that was the first thing Montana masturbated too, a little tmi. They had a stare down before deciding to sneak off together to take care of said tension.

As soon as they left I let out a loud laugh, "That was a little more information than I wanted to know."

"And see," Brooke chimed in quietly, referring to the bulge that Trevor proudly placed in front of her.

"He literally just walked through the door and he's getting laid." Chet waved his hand in their direction the sound of disappointment threaded through his voice.

I rolled my eyes, standing up and brushing off my pants. "I'm going for a walk, I don't want to hear you complain about being a virgin anymore."

Chet scrambled for words, "I-I'm not a virgin."

I looked back before rolling my eyes and heading out the door.

Making my way down the steps and hearing the door open with a creak behind me. Curiously I turned around to see Xavier trotting to my side.

"Mind if I join you?" He asked casually hoping off the last step to stand beside me.

"Not at all," I smiled back, secretly I had hoped that he would.

We made it away from the main camp and into one of the dimly lit paths in the woods.

"Y/n, aren't you afraid that Mr.Jingles is out here right now?" He said beside me, trying to scare me.

"No," I looked over at him and smiled, "And if you're trying to get me to jump into your arms you're gonna need a little more ammo than trying to spook me."

He laughed lightly, "I like a girl that doesn't scare easy."

"Then you're gonna love me," I gave him a flirty side eyed look. I don't know what it was about him that drew me in but it did. After only knowing him for a total of about six hours I wanted more. I had never felt like this before and it was exciting. Even if it would just turn out to be a summer fling.

"Oh sweetheart I have no doubt." He lightly grabbed a hold of my arm and pulled me to a stop. I turned around quickly to see him pull back, "Let's stop here for a bit."

We sat down on a log and looked out across the lake, admiring the moonlight glazing over the water. The low hum of the crickets was the only sound, a nice change from the busy streets of LA.

"So what made you decide to come here?" I asked, casually trying to make conversation. I looked over at his face to see his features lightly dusted with a mixture of the moonlight and the dim camp light.

"I had some things I needed to get away from, even if it was just for a little bit." He sighed lightly as I nodded with him. "What made you decide to help Mommy dearest with this place?"

I chuckled and looked out to the lake, "Honestly, I turned her down a thousand times...I wanted nothing to do with it until she wore me down and eventually I caved." I turned towards him, our eyes meeting "And now I'm glad I did."

His nose turned up as he looked down at me with a change in his eyes, "Well I hope I can make it a summer to remember," he leaned in ever so slightly.

I also leaned in so my lips were ghosting over his, "I'm sure you will," I whispered before leaning back. The corners of my mouth turning up into a wicked smirk.

He bit his lip gently as he stared at me, "I'm really regretting my dibs now. But they're unretractable." He threw his hands up, "I was just so blinded by lust," he joked.

"You're no different now," I mocked lightly. His blue eyes now dark as he hovered over me.

He parted his lips which caused me to look down at them, "I'm not blind baby, I know exactly what I want."

My heart rate increased as his hand came to rest on top of mine, "And what is that?"

His cocky grin grew as he knew the effect he was having on me, "Whatever you can give me." He gripped my hand and leaned in so close that our noses were almost touching.

Every atom in my body was telling me to just lean in and kiss him but I enjoyed teasing him way too much. So instead I took my other hand and rested it above his knee, "Well we'll just have to see what you deserve." I squeezed his leg before I stood up.

His mouth was ajar and his eyebrows were furrowed, he looked godly but I didn't want to give up my plan of messing with him just yet. Instead I sauntered back up to the girls cabin. In a few seconds Xavier was on my heels.

When we made it back inside the guys were sat on the couch watching the Olympics as Montana and Brooke were asleep on their bunks. The guys didn't pay any attention to us as we snuck over to the beanbag chair on the ground.

Before I could sit down Xavier sat in it first.

"I wanted to sit there," I pouted playfully stomping my foot.

He had a devilish glint in his eye, "You still can," Before I could object he grabbed my wrist and pulled me into his lap, wrapping his arms around my waist and leaning his head on top of my shoulder.

I wanted to pretend to be annoyed, to rile him up even further but all I could focus on was how warm he was and the sweet sent of his cologne. Not to mention how comfortable I was with him this close.

Now he was the one messing with me, "Sweetheart your heart sounds like it's going to burst. Are you okay?" His lips were touching my ear as he whispered.

My mouth parted as I was going to say something but then the door slammed open, my mother bursting in. Xavier and I both jumped up, nearly stumbling over each other again.

"Boys and girls together after dark," she reprimanded, looking from me to Trevor, no doubt angry at the fact we didn't enforce her rule.

"Lights out in twenty minutes," She looked down to her watch, "The boys will leave and remove themselves from temptation." She looked accusingly at Xavier as she spat out her words.

Ray sighed and Trevor headed over to the door, opening it, "Let's go boys." Chet and Ray left sunkenly, following Trevor out the door.

Xavier gave me a wink before smiling and striding to the door, stopping in front of my Mom. "You gonna make us pray the boners away?" He challenged a cocky glint in his eyes.

Montana and I laughed as Mom turned around quickly, "A clean body is a clean mind. How many times do I have to go over the rules? Boys shower at night. No exceptions. Now go wash the filth off so you can wake up pure and refreshed for morning prayer."

He looked over his shoulder and blew me kiss before striding out after the others. I bit my lip to hold back the smile that was fighting to get free.

Mom turned around to look at me, "Whatever it is that you have going on with that boy needs to stop before he corrupts your soul."

Before I could get a word in she slammed the door shut and left.

"Bitch," I muttered. I was twenty and she had no hold over me anymore. Whatever I wanted to do and with who was my decision. Not hers. I wasn't going to let her try to dictate me anymore.

Brooke and Montana were awake now, no thanks to my mom's sudden intrusion. Brooke sat up on the bed and Montana got up to crack open another beer. I walked over to the other bed across from her and laid down, leaning against my palm.

Brooke looked uneasy so Montana sat beside her, "Look, some dickhead broke into your apartment and attacked you, that's super scary. I mean, a stranger once grabbed my boob outside a Sam Goody, so I get it. But not everyone is out to get you."

I nodded, taking in her words as Brooke sniffled. "He said he was going to come back...that he was going to find me."

I sat up, scooting to the edge of the bed, "Trauma's a bitch Brooke," I hesitated before deciding to share my story with them, "When my dad died...I was the one who found him." I paused, looking at the floor. "His guts were spilled over the tub and all over the floor. For years all I saw was that image. They also never caught who did it..." I sighed and held my hands together, "Every sound I heard, every creak in the floorboards had me convinced that the killer was back and that I was going to end up like him." I looked up at her, tears threatening to spill out, "But it turned out they were just noises. You're going to be paranoid for a while...but eventually everything turns out okay." I gave her a reassuring smile.

I felt weird telling two strangers who I just met a very personal side of me, but I saw how upset Brooke was and if my story could help her just even in the tiniest bit, I wanted to try.

Montana gave me a short smile, "She's right," she turned back to Brooke, "If you imagine the worst, that's all you see."

"You don't have to imagine the worst when it's already happened." Brooke mumbled.

Montana and I sat there listening to Brooke relive her past summer trauma. She was engaged and on the day of her wedding her fiance snapped, thought she slept with his best man when in reality she just didn't want to be alone. Her man didn't believe that and shot the best man in the head, Brooke's dad, and then killed himself. It was horrific.

I just sat there in shock, we've all been through something or another that's made us who we are. We all are just hoping for something good, hopefully it can be this camp.

Xavier's POV

"I can't see shit," I mumbled while I swung the light in front of me, trying to get any kind of clarity. "If you had to give up one of your five senses which one would it be?" I asked, turning around to the others.

"Smell, definitely." Ray said.

"Yeah but then you could never smell bacon." Chet stated. He did have a point there. But out of all the senses I think that's the easiest one to justify losing.

We all were walking through the dark aimlessly. Ray and I were the only ones who had flashlights. They weren't really doing much for us as we stumbled over to the showers. Almost every step stumbling over rocks or vines.

"Montana's skin smells like vanilla frosting." Trevor said dreamily, "We had a real connection down there at the lake. Like a...meeting of the souls. First base never felt so good."

"Wait," Chet paused, "All you did was kiss?"

"'Course not," Trevor said as he strode radically.

"That's what first base means." Chet said matter of factly.

"Maybe for you.." Trevor said as Chet felt embarassed for the thousandth time tonight.

"If he gets dibs on Montana, and Xavier has Y/n, then I get first shot at Brooke." Ray said.

"Y/n, nice. She's real cute." Trevor held out his hand for me to fist bump and I did while a smirk played across my lips.

"Talk about connection," I patted my chest over my heart lightly. My thoughts ran back to her. She was fiery and didn't give in to me as easy as other girls did. I liked it, it was a different feeling.

"Wait..." Chet paused, "Who does that leave for me?"

"Margaret," Trevor stated. I stifled a laugh as Ray couldn't keep his in.

I walked over and patted Chet's shoulder. "Yeah you can be my new father in law." The others laughed while Chet shook my hand off and stormed inside the showers.

We all followed inside, genuinely forgetting how much of a shit hole the showers really were. I took the flashlight as I strolled through the showers as I scoffed, "Where's all the towels and little soaps?"

"This isn't a spa." Trevor said as he chucked a towel at me, "Here, I brought two." I caught it and thanked him casually, I genuinely didn't want to walk all the way back up to the cabin.

We all started undressing by the lockers, Ray brought a radio and turned it on. I was actually shocked it got reception out here.

I started washing all across my body, over my chest, down my arms, all over.

"So what base did you make it to with Y/n when you two snuck off?" Ray raised an eyebrow as he played with the toothpick in his mouth.

I smirked, "None yet, I'm along for the ride." I paused remembering how close we were to kissing and how I wanted nothing more than to taste her and see if her lips were as soft as they looked. "She's doing things to me man." I sighed, already wanting to see her again.

"I hear ya," Trevor agreed as he sent a wink over to me. "Montana is just something else." He turned over to me and tilted his head back, "Maybe summer love is real."

My head shot up as he said the word "love". It wasn't something I had thought of or even felt in a really long time. But it could be at play here, considering I'm not just thinking with my dick.

"When Brooke came and helped me bandage up my hand...I dunno. I just felt something too." Ray took the toothpick out and shook it while he looked up to the sky, thinking.

"Great well while you all find the one I guess I'll just be jacking off in the cabin alone." Chet huffed, he started scrubbing his body harder in annoyance.

"Don't lose hope yet Chet," I started, "You still have Margaret." I bit back a smile as he hurled the soap at me, I ducked before it could hit me as I couldn't hold my laughter anymore.

"Rita is cute.." Trevor mentioned, I nodded in agreement.

"Rita would kill him before he could even get a word in." Ray mentioned, he was kidding but there was a bit of truth to his words.

Trevor laughed, "Yeah she'd probably stab you with a needle as soon as you walked in." We all laughed as Chet scoffed.

The lights suddenly powered down.

"Guess our 20 minutes is up," I mumbled as I quickly rinsed the remaining soap and turned the water off.

When we were finished Ray and Chet immediately fell asleep, leaving me to stare up at the ceiling. My thoughts circling back to Y/n. I'd just met her today but something felt different about her and I just wanted to make sure she was safe. Like back at the campfire, I could tell she was getting a little tense about all the Mr.Jingles talk...I just wanted to help her.

"This camp," Trevor whispered as I looked over at him, "Has a way of making people feel things." I turned so I was laying on my side, completely facing him now. "Like making that guy snap all those years ago, what if we're snapping in our own good ways."

Taglist: @felicityofbakerstreet

#American Horror Story #American Horror Story 1984 #AHS #AHS 1984 #American Horror Story Fanfiction #American Horror Story 1984 Fanfiction #Xavier Plympton #Xavier Plympton x Reader #Xavier Plympton Smut #Xavier Plympton x Reader Smut #AHS 1984 Fanfiction #AHS 1984 Smut #American Horror Story X Reader #1984 #Camp Redwood #AHS 1984 Xavier #1984 Xavier Plympton #Smut #Fluff

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magicflowershop · 4 years ago

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one day kitty; Yamaguchi version

《inspired by movie A Whisker Away》

✿✿ you wished to be with the person you like and wish granted. whiskers, button nose, tail, four legs and ears on top of the head; you turned into a cat. with this, you are given the opportunity to be with the person you want to express your affections to. but as a cat. and only in one day.

― haikyuu characters x cat!reader imagines!

❀ masterlist ❀

the wheel of names have spoken.

long story short, you knew Yamaguchi and liked him for the longest time,,, not to mention it kinda annoyed you that Tsukishima was there by his side too and kinda knows you have a crush on Yams but we’ll get to that

you’ve been living in the same neighborhood as Yams and you just liked how he’s such a sweet guy and smiles as if everything was alright

he made you feel like you wanted to protect him kinda guy yk

so,,, uh did i mention you’re a cat now? no?

nyways you’re a cat now

for some damn reason

the last thing you remember the previous night there’s this fortune teller you went to and that you mentioned to said fortune teller you wanted to get even closer to your crush on some way possible

and you remember clearly how the fortune teller grinned at you and say

“i can make that thing some way possible”

creepy ass-

and then you woke up as a cat right next to Yamaguchi’s house

talk about convenience

you were right by their gate when Yamaguchi walked out the door, ready for school,,, instinctively you pretended to sleep out there like a lonely cold cat that’s been abandoned yk just to get his attention like that

“why is there a cat here?”

said in a very disgusted voice by Yamaguchi’s childhood friend, Tchkishima ‘Kay

Yamaguchi was just as confused bc there’s never been a cat that looked like you in their neighborhood before and he wondered if you were somebody’s pet that ran off

so Yams bein the sweetheart he is,, picked you up,, took you in his arms

and placed you in a nearby bush with all the other cats

because the cat were on the streets all defenseless like that, he was worried that it might get hit by a car or sumthin ykyk aw

so the boys left you there

gettin screeched at by the cats

bc you werent a normal cat lmao

and so you went on to your journey of ✨ stalking Yams ✨

and Tsukki gettin weirded at by you bc you were stalkin em ✨ but Yams is the star here ignore Tsukki :>

stalkin ain’t an easy job honey baby no sir no ma’am,, especially since you literally have to climb a tree just to see through the window of his classroom since animals aren’t allowed inside the school premises

you cant even sneak past the hall monitors

but thank goodness they had breaks and the boys go outside to go to the gym and practice

nyways knowin full well that you are a cat and that cats are created cute

sis mhmm did you use that advantage

except Yams is just

not noticing you

lmfao

and to add to your dismay, Tsukishima’s even laughin at you

a monster

see, Yams is just too tall and kinda too absorbed on his jump float serves that he barely turns elsewhere,, you kinda wished you were the ball

but what can you do when your crush was as much as a volleyball addict as the rest of his team,, so you try and get his attention with a different approach ;)

you annoy the hell outta Tsukishima

and when i say the hell outta him i meant the hell outta him

bc what you’ve gathered from earlier, it seemed that you were pretty blatant about your affections towards Yamaguchi that he caught onto it and even had the audacity of laughing at you :>

so you’re beautiful big brain plan was to make Tsukishima notice you, make him annoyed by you that’ll make Yams worry what’s wrong

it was a stupid yet effective idea

so literally you stared at Tsukishima all through practice, and he just tried to ignore whatever it was you were doing and you heard him whisper to Yams

“that cat kinda reminds me of someone”

“who?”

“y/n”

“wdym?”

“annoying”

“gasp y/n isn’t annoying”

so yes your heart was leAPING IN JOY just from knowin Yams standing up for you from Tsukki of all people and dont find you annoying in human form,,, after all those times you insisted to go home with them lmao

he doesnt find you annoying

like wow

well anywho

your craziness dont end there bc you havent had Yams to notice you yet, and after classes practice have already ended

so you let Tsukishima free from his sins and decided to proceed thy actions in,,,,, wait for it

Yamaguchi’s home

bc you nasty

bc you wanted to spend the rest of the night wif him and staying in home would be boring ykyk

but you did know you should be careful of not accidentally transforming back to human in front of him

so you took the time and waited until you thought he was already in his sleeping clothes bc common you aren’t a perv right? right

until you peeked through his window all shy and whatnot,,, to see him passed out on his bed

….

you waited more than an hour for this

your simpin ass was disappointed

but you ofc was never runnin out of bogus ideas, so you tried to act like a regular stupid cat and started tapping your lil paw beans on his window as loudly as you could,,, you could’ve started clawing his window cause thats louder but you wouldn’t damage his property common

Yamaguchi’s sensitive ass heard this and was snapped awake, a drool wavin to say hello, to see a little damn cat making a ruckus

he opened the window and let you in

and you gave the littlest softest meow you could manifest from ur being

Yams lit thought you were purring from the cold lmao but that doesn’t matter bc he let you in his room thank god we have progress now

he wrapped you around with a towel to keep you warm and held you close, askin you where your family was or if you were abandoned,,, yes heaven never felt this good

he was about to fall asleep when you notice it was already 11.45pm oh no

15 mins left you turn back to normal

you checked up on him to see if he asleep so you could leave his room without saying anything,, ofc you didn’t want him to see you in your sorry state as a whole simp ofc not

good thing his window stayed open,, you left without saying a word as if what you did was a one night stand and ran away

you ran all the way back to your house as fast as you could with your tiny stealthy body but you didn’t even realize you were running mindlessly and that you got lost

oh no what the hell are you doing you’re wasting time dude

less than 8 minutes you’re turning back and somebody might see you

you retraced your steps, trying to go somewhere you recognize and spend the night there hiding from anyone’s sight,,, it was okay to spend the night somewhere bc you’ll wake up back in your house in your body as if nothing happened

yes as if nothing happened

“watch out!”

you were yanked and dragged out of the way by a person’s body,, a boy’s body to be exact and when you looked up, a pair of green and stunned eyes met yours

“… y/n?”

you were done for

it seemed that you almost got hit by a car mid-transformation and Tadashi was in time to save you as he found you idling about in front of his house

so you got back in time

you stared at him completely in shock as he was talking to the person who drove the car and apologizing,, while still holding you close you thanked every god you were still wearin clothes

“well take care that fella over there”

the driver went back inside his car after checking if you both were alright

“i will!”

sis i-

Yamaguchi then turned to you this time and with a stern expression says

“i’ll ask mom to let you spend the night, but other than that you have some explaining to do ma’am”

stay tuned for more! :>

#walk in my garden #haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyuu!! imagines #haikyuu!! smau #haikyuu!! headcanons #haikyuu!! drabbles #haikyuu!! x reader #yamaguchi #yamaguchi tadashi #tadashi yamaguchi #yamaguchi x reader #yamaguchi x y/n #yams #karasuno #one day kitty

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thewhumpstuff · 4 years ago

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Flashback

Flashback - [So, this got longer than I intended. It probably needs to be cruelly edited. But, nah. I’m just going to throw it into the void!

@badthingshappenbingo [Original Characters and content for - Reopening an Old Wound] Whumptober Day: No. 6 - Please - “Get it out!” No more. “Stop, please!” [Sorta all three] Ten Trails: Heart and Soul (2)- Repressed memories [@yuckwhump] CW/TW: Uncomfortable invasion of the mind. References to interrogation, captivity and potential torture. Reference to implied bullying in the OC’s past. [Please let me know if I missed anything] [I don’t think there is anything triggering about the abstract art, hopefully, so its just out here. FYI-That is a man casually ‘caught up’ in his brain.]

Zach drummed an arrhythmic beat against the edge of his table, when the door to his office slid upon and the framework framed Akira like a painting, “Ah, good! You’re here. I’ve been led to believe you possess a unique set of skills and are the perfect candidate to... solve a little problem I’ve chanced upon. Shall we?” She wasn’t given a chance to make her way into his office. Within a moment, he was already crowding her. Zach shepherded her towards a vehicle. They rode in uncomfortable silence. There weren’t too many people who could set Akira on edge, but Zach was definitely one of them. She assumed it was because she couldn’t get a read on him. And the tenebrous past he shared with Jared. The vehicle pulled up and she almost opened her side of the door into Zach’s crotch, accidentally. She stopped herself just in time, leaving the door slightly ajar. With a soft huff of disappointment and impatience, Zach opened it all the way and waited for her to step out. Akira really wasn’t accustomed to this level of archaic chivalry. The silence continued to loom as they walked past the wired fence, to the decommissioned lab. It was marked for repair and rennovation. As they rounded to the door, he went on to warn her, with feigned concern, that did fool her. “This is not going to be easy. It certainly isn’t for me, but I trust you know, that as Amity Enforcers, it's our duty to defend the goals of the Global Confederate. ”

Her brows knitted and her eyes narrowed, but she nodded. They made their way inside. Their footsteps echoed in the vacant reception area and continued to click as they walked through the lobby and the labyrinth of corridors. The first couple of floors had already been revamped and restored. From the corner of her eyes, she noted the silhouettes of wrapped equipment. She recognized them with ease, some were bots for medical procedures, others were devices typically used for research… on human subjects. They were flush against the walls haphazardly. He led her into a softly lit room, and stopped by two-sided mirror. The other side was dark. Akira stared at their reflections. In retrospect, the sincerity in Zach’s expressions, would surprise her. Another guilty reassurance followed. It felt like he was setting her up for some kind of a climax, “I assure you, I’ve done my due diligence, and grave apologies that I wasn’t able to get to him before the others. He’s a little roughed up. Needless to say, he’ll be fixed up. Perhaps you can help with that too…” Zach fiddled with something that looked like a keypad touch screen. Bright fluorescent lights illuminated the room beyond the mirror. Akira did a double-take and didn’t realise she was holding her breath. Jared. She didn’t need to see his face to recognize him. He didn’t have a shirt on and his pants looked scruffy. Angry, fresh bruises covered most of the skin that she could see. Cuffs cinched his wrists behind his back. His cheek sat in a small pool of blood. Crimson that leaked from a cut lip and from his nose. His chest rose and fell erratically. Jared didn’t react to the lights. He was either asleep… Or just unconscious. Zach’s little roughed up didn’t exactly do justice.

She couldn’t tear her eyes off Jared, but she found her voice and addressed Zach in an indignant hiss, “What the fuck is this?” Zach ran gloved fingers through his silken strands, “I told you this wasn’t going to be easy. I recognize that your relationship, predisposes you to defend him. To take his side. And that’s good. Because-” Aki interrupted him through grit teeth, “Get to the point damnit. What reason do you have to hold him like this?” She found it very hard to maintain composure. Her eyes still riveted on Jared, till Zach’s fingers found Akira’s jaw. He held it to force her to turn and look at him. She did turn, but also jerked away from his hand. He didn’t press for contact. Zach’s voice darkened. It got colder and softer with a bridled rage, “I’m going to let that tone slide. Compelling evidence has surfaced, that declares him responsible for the death of my mother… and my subsequent capture. And that he either is, or was associated with SpecSyn.” His tone reminded her of the chilly one that Jared assumed, when he had reason to truly mean whatever threat he was uttering. The comparison was unsettling. Zach went on, “And I’d like very much to believe this evidence is bogus, because I don’t want it to be true. As much as you probably don’t. We grew up together, him and I. We trained in G.C.A together, served in Sector Nine together… ” She noticed a sort of hurt in Zach’s eyes. The kind of pain that screamed betrayal. For the briefest of moments it made her trust him, as he went on talking, “And I’m doing my very best to not fall prey to my anger… Akira. So please… help me. Help me wipe these allegations once and for all. You convince me, and I’ll take care of the rest.” Akira sounded hesitant, she was processing everything a little too slowly to immediately recognize what Zach wanted. So she defended Jared rather simply, “Look, I don’t know what to tell you, he never told me anything-” Zach’s voice changed to something practical and detached again, like this was just any other mission detail. This also reminded her of Jared. “No, of course he didn’t. Despite how intimate you two are, I doubt he would’ve trusted you with anything important, or too personal. He’s always been an agent first… Apparently, just not for G.C.” She could sense that he was provoking her now and instilling doubt again… Somewhat successfully. Jared had always been rather tight-lipped. Even more so around the subject of the events that led to Azrael’s death and his missions. They’d argued about it on more than one occasion. Now was not the time to get hung up on the way the truth of his words stung. She turned her back to Jared and leaned against the two-way mirror. Zach went on, “Frankly, I’m surprised you didn’t simply-” She challenged with another interruption, eager to defend the relationship he sounded so dismissive about. “What? Just read him? Relationships don’t work like that, Zach... I trust him. Still do. Always will.” Her heart sank when she finally realised what the man wanted. And he made quick work of confirming Akira’s assumptions, “Well, push has come to shove. And if you trust him so much, you shouldn’t find anything in there-” He rested one hand against the glass of the two-way mirror and tapped it. ‘-In there, that’s too alarming. I say you- and by that I mean we, because we’re running out of options. So, convince me, he truly doesn’t know anything. And I’ll make sure he’s free to go. And you.” And me? She folded her arms across her chest, “I didn’t realise I was not free to go. So what, I’m a prisoner now too?” Zach stepped in closer and placed his other hand on the surface of the mirror behind Akira. Her face was between his palms and she felt a little trapped, by the situation and literally by Zach’s proximity, but she did her best to not show it. He shrugged, “The Jared I know, would’ve worked alone, but the others would not hesitate to assume your involvement by proxy. And it doesn’t help that you’re a Niner. But, like I’ve said before I’d like to stay on your side, on his side.” She drew in a long shaky breath, her voice fell to an uncertain whisper, “It…. My power doesn’t work like that. It’s not so perfect… I can’t just give you what you want.” He smiled, realising that she’d understood that her options were limited and was at least, considering compliance. “I know how your power works. And I’ll guide you. We’ll have to find a way, for his sake.” Nonetheless, she obviously had to check if there was in fact, any other way. She wasn’t too keen on breaking that sacrosanct trust, “What if I say no?” Zach huffed brusquely, “Then I’ll have no choice but to give the two of you up. I can only buy so much time. They’ll either force a confession false or not... or kill both of you in the process of doing so… So, Akira, I really don’t want to spend our time constantly reminding you, that I’m the only thing standing in the way of a very… very bleak future for both of you.” So, no real choice indeed. A small part of Akira rejoiced and then recoiled with guilt. The part that did want to know all of Jared’s secrets, just so they could clear the air once and for all. The part she’d leashed, with difficulty and upon his insistence- out of respect for what they shared... Another part of her curled up in fear of what she’d actually find. And how she’d hide it from Zach, if it was indeed incriminating. “How do you expect me to convince you?” Zach looked beyond her, presumably at Jared, as he laid out the plan, “To make sure you aren’t lying, I’ll first have you dredge up memories of his time with me, details that I can confirm. Things you’re unlikely to know about, at least not in all their specificity. Then we can work towards the rest. It’ll be a process… But hopefully, Jared gets out of this absolved and we all walk away unharmed. I’ll have Mark monitor your stats when we get to the important stuff. So I’ll know if you’re lying. You know Mark right, I believe you’ve worked with him? That should make all this a little easier...”

Carrying a glass of water, painkillers and some tissues, she walked into the cell alone. Her SmartNeura was connected to Zach’s, so he could instruct her without Jared’s knowledge. Jared was still curled on the floor. He had not moved almost at all. His knuckles were unbruised. But his wrists bore evidence of struggle. She gathered that Jared had not resisted arrest and that they’d hurt him after he was already cuffed. Presumably to get quick answers. Knowing him, he must’ve chosen silence. She assumed he was in some drug induced stupor now, she was wrong. “Jared…” He sat up so quickly, she and her heart jumped. “Shira? What the hell are you doing here?” Why did his tone sound accusative? “Z-” Before she could tell him, Zach interrupted her sharply, “No. Don’t name me. He doesn’t need to know of my involvement yet. Tell him someone else asked you for help with the interrogation-Better yet, tell him you heard and volunteered. Keep it vague.” Akira chewed the side of her lips and looked at Jared as intently as she could, she wasn’t sure if he could see truth in her eyes. She went and flopped by his side, cross-legged. And put the water beside him, along with the painkillers and tissues. He picked up the latter to wipe away the blood. She repeated Zach almost word for word, “I… heard they caught you and volunteered to help.” She was hoping Jared would recognize the foreignness of her words. Unfortunately, given his current state, he either didn’t, or did a damn good job of hiding it. His eyes widened. She knew he was definitely closing in on her intent. And desperately hoping it wasn’t true, just like she had been, just moments ago. “Help how?” She was at a loss of words. Aki jerked her chin towards his head. She really didn’t want to spell it out, “You know… I’ll just… Read and confirm you innoc-” Jared shot up like a spring, and was on his feet. He staggered as he backed away from her. He sounded uncharacteristically flustered, his words as choppy as his faltering steps, “Why the fuck would you- We’ve gone over this… We agreed- It’s the one thing I’ve asked for- Wait you told them about your- Just…Just… Get outta here and let them do what they want. You don’t need to get involved. Why would they believe you anyway?” He kept shuffling away as he talked, to literally stay out of her reach. Till he had nowhere left to go. Akira didn’t move towards him, she remained on the floor and stared at it. She wanted to yell. To let him know in no uncertain terms that she didn’t want any of this. That she had no choice. That it wasn’t going to be a damn walk in the park for her either. That she’d been summoned. And that she was glad that she’d been called. At least she could buy them some time to figure this out. That she couldn’t, in good faith, just… let them do what they wanted. She sat frozen, screaming internally till Zach was compelled to intervene. He sounded impatient… but Aki could swear, he also sounded mildly delirious, “Tell him, it's too late and you’re already involved. Tell him, he doesn’t have a real choice. Then ask him about Erebus at the C.T.F we did for training at G.C.A. Read the memory that comes up. I’m staring us off easy.”

In his impatience, Zach was revealing himself with every suggestion and Akira was glad that he was. Though she wasn’t sure if Jared was truly catching on, or not. She’d heard him speak of Erebus - now an Acer himself, working in the resources department- and not too fondly. She had nothing specific enough for her to fib her way through this. Akira cleared her throat and repeated Zach’s words, paraphrasing just enough to change the perspective, and couch her question as a memory-trigger, “Look, I’m already here. So this is happening, whether you like it or not. Let’s talk about Erebus. You two were in G.C.A together, right? Did both of you participate in the capture-the-flag game? Were you on the same team?” She hoped that the confusion that flitted on Jared’s face was a sign that he was starting to catch up. He had to have figured out that they were being watched by someone, if not specifically Zach. Jared asked, “Erebus? Why? I’ve barely mentioned him” She made up a lie, now improvising without Zach’s direction, “He’s... A suspect too...” She was grateful that Zach needed to confirm her compliance with… hopefully benign memories. But, with the way Jared tensed up, perhaps even this was not as benign as she was hoping. It’s just C.T.F… How bad could it be? Jared sighed, like he’d curtailed an exasperated warning, “Shira… please just...” After one last look of what she perceived to be despise- aimed either at her, or at the very least at the situation, he closed his eyes. With a dark, heart-rending resignation, he slid against the wall, till he was sitting on the floor with his knees pressed against his chest. She knew he wasn’t the sort to protest once he realised it was futile. She sat there feeling a little paralyzed. There was no going back once she crossed this line. Zach prompted her into action, “Go on! Remember we’re still time-bound. Wordlessly, she inched closer to Jared and set his hands on his exposed arms. -

Lying on the ground, stomach first. The wetness of dewdrops against the cheek. The chilly breeze against a bareback. The smell of damp earth and grass. The blurry sight of the green blades and the soil - shuffling shoes and ankles in the distance. The recently-cracked awkward husk of a pubescent voice, “This’ll teach you to fucking play decoy for Pixie-dust!” The sound of vague, bitter and cruel jeering. Shoes sliding closer. Fingers curling around wrists and ankles, tightening with a certain envious sourness. The soles of shoes against the back of the knees… and the elbows, with the wobbling, inconsistent, but hurtful pressure. The body, contorts and twists to see the sneering face of the kid who spoke. A raspy, baleful protest, claws out of the throat, “Get your lackeys off me ‘Rebus!” An unavailing struggle that ensues. Another soul pressed against the lower back, with a pathetic finality. And then the sound of the marker, shot at point-blank range. The smarting slap of the bullet splattering between the shoulder blades. The strangled roar, interrupted by another shot… and then another. The headache-inducing grit teeth and set jaw. The metallic tang of blood and the annoying stab of a bitten tongue- completely overshadowed by the aching throb of the back. The burgeoning tenderness and the blooming bruises. Finally, after half a dozen shots, the deafening silence. The splattered, viscous paint, that felt as good as blood, rolling down the sides of the torso. And a soft, defeated whine. The vague thought that this must appear rather comical to an onlooker… but sure didn’t feel that way. -

Jared’s quieter whimper met Akira’s louder groans, they tapered to an uncomfortable silence, first him, then her. She blinked away, the tears that collected on the side of her eyes. When she let go of him, she noticed her fingers had left a print on his pale skin, blanching through a bruise. She had just experienced his memory in first person and forced him to relive it too. Aki could still hear the echo of the shots and feel her back smarting. He probably felt the same lingering effects. She knew it’d fade soon enough, but it left her heaving for air. Her emotions were mingled with young Jared’s- contempt for this Erebus kid who pressed him into the ground and shot him. Despair... that it happened. And her instinct was more violent than his, “What a fucking tool. I’d have kil-” She cut herself off when Jared opened his eyes. The dejection in them tore at her. And Zach’s voice broke the moment, “Why did you stop? Tell him you want to know what happens and go back.” Akira hesitated, till Zach made the order in no uncertain terms, “Do it, now!” She echoed his suggestion with a slight startle, like a spurred horse, “I… I want to know what happens next-” He let his fingers lace with her approaching hands. A plainative squeeze followed, “No! Stop it… Shira… Please. Please no more… Not again.”

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split-n-splice · 4 years ago

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A small fic in which heroes aren't all about fighting villains and a young Shego has qualms with a particular F word.

Find on FFn or Ao3 in chapter form. 6k

“The F Word”

She’d only been a hero for a few short months. Already she’d aided in the arrest of more than a dozen men and women, some – if not most – of which probably needed therapy more than incarceration.

For starters, bird-brained Dr. Robinson had gotten into a turf war involving the defacement of property with a bird-loathing guy who looked like a scarecrow, with his bristly beard and ill-fitting rags. There had been a geeky woman who’d posed a more serious threat by allegedly hacking various electronic systems of city officials and murdering them via electrocution, and even though Team Go had caught her in the act, she’d destroyed the evidence with the press of a button and walked free with the aid of a good lawyer. Likewise, Mr. Richie had the wealth to get out of jail when busted red-handed for trafficking, despite Shego herself testifying to being bribed and touched when left alone to interrogate him. And then there were the occasional costumed losers desperate for a confrontation with local heroes cleaning up the streets. So far, they could all pass as normal people more or less.

At least until she met Gloria Grace.

Shilo sat alone now on the bleachers at school – as a student, not a hero – with a turkey sub sandwich left uneaten on her lap. Two weeks in a row, the sophomore had left campus to take lunch across town, but her big brother had caught on and put his foot down once he’d learned she’d been skipping class too. He’d tracked down one of her connections yesterday, consequently catching Alex smoking and very nearly busting her, but the stoner had gotten off the hook by snitching that Shilo wasn’t taking lunch with her lately. He’d just barely caught Shilo yesterday, and today as well, right as she’d been about to sneak away to go hitch a ride across town. They’d had a little argument, and now she was stuck under his watchful eye as he chowed down on a bench somewhere above her, chatting and laughing loudly with his clique.

Another cherry tomato struck the back of her head, and she turned a deaf ear to Hugo lightly chastising the girl who’d thrown it only to be immediately accused of having a crush on “the freak.” Somehow no one at school had made the connection yet that they were related. With Hugo’s broad build and Shilo still a little on the scrawny side, it was hard to see the family resemblance. Not to mention, only one of them had a sickly complexion other students feared was contagious.

She heard disgusted whispers behind her back, and when Hugo dismissed the girl who’d been all over him until now, Shilo was the one to take the heat for it. The scorned woman dumped her salad over Shilo’s head as she trotted down the bleachers, scoffing, “Freak,” back at her as she left.

“Fuck you too,” Shilo spat back, clenching her fists and planting her rear back down to resist the urge to sock the girl. Civilians were off-limits, she reminded herself, breathing deep and counting to ten before shaking off the lettuce. Her hair was still short, but it tickled down the nape of her neck now and was long enough to cover her burning ears, and she benefited from a clip to hold back her bangs.

A hand brushed her head, and she smacked it away in reflex, turning sharply to shoot a heated glare up at her brother come to wipe salad dressing out of her hair with a wet tissue. He ignored the rebuff and plopped down just above her, continuing to clean it off while she snorted and rested her cheek in her hand, scarcely tolerating it.

“You need to eat,” he said quietly.

“Not hungry.” On cue, the growl of her stomach claimed she was a liar.

Breakfast had been canceled, as Hugo’s beeper had gone off as he’d been reading the morning paper with a front-page blurry photograph of an entity that had been “terrorizing” Go City’s crumbling and underfunded Southside for months. Global Justice was a little late in informing them of the sighting. Their father had taken over breakfast prep from Shilo and wished them luck then, echoed by her young twin brothers. Shego had barely convinced Hego to let it go, just in time to get to school before they were tardy. There would be other chances for him to serve justice on the monster scaring the townsfolk, she’d told him.

“I gotta piss,” Shilo announced suddenly, hopping up. He almost stood to follow but she shot him a scowl and he slumped back.

“I’ll give you five minutes, and then I want you back here.”

Ignoring the allotment and giving him the finger, she took her sub sandwich and left.

A quick clean up in front of the restroom mirror, and she was ready to sneak off – but Hugo knew better than to let her out of his sight. She barely bit back the urge to scream in his face when she exited the lavatory and nearly ran into him.

“Where are you going?” he demanded.

She grimaced at the bell chiming just then. “Um, to class?” she lied.

Hugo stared her down for a moment before uncrossing his arms and stepping aside to let her go with a nod. “No more skipping,” he said sternly.

“Yeah. Whatever.” She looked down to the sandwich she carried, still wrapped up and untouched. “Catch you later.”

Forced to go their separate ways, Shilo seized the opportunity to slip away once and for all. Lately, Hugo had taken to reminding her how dangerous Go City was for a pretty girl to wander alone in. His concern was more bogus than the flattery. She was superhuman now and she could fend for herself now better than ever with the aid of her comet-given gift of alien fire. There was really nothing to worry about. Big brother just didn’t want any of them out alone without backup in fear that someone worse than the average criminal might get a hold of any member of Team Go. Hugo bought into it easily though, convinced danger and threats lurked around every corner.

In any case, the supervising organization had locked a monitoring anklet on her. If she ran into trouble, all she had to do was flare up and Global Justice would be alerted and Hugo’s beeper would go off so he could come save the day. He loved hearing his beeper go off.

Breaking the private school’s stupid dress code, Shilo tied her stiff blue jacket around her waist and sighed in relief as she relaxed back into a hard seat on the bus minutes later. After just a few moments of the bus driver eyeballing her bare legs, she tugged at her skirt and moved to the back. Not that the back was any better when another man turned to look her over and a woman with a small child moved away from her, probably afraid of her hue like so many were when she wasn’t clad in Shego’s uniform.

++X++

Eventually, she’d made it across town, keeping her head low to ignore the variety of stares.

She wasn’t fond of venturing out to the Go City slums alone, but a few residents were familiar enough with her by now to keep their distance, and she hadn’t even once used her glow on them to win a healthy respect.

For months now, Southside had racked up countless reports of a creature prowling the streets after dark. Yesterday “the Southside Freak” had come out in daylight, and a photo had actually been snapped and plastered across local papers. Guilt gnawed at Shilo and she clutched the sub sandwich closer. She’d pickpocketed cash from a punk kid earlier, justifying to herself that the rich snob didn’t need it all that badly. A quick stop at a shady convenience store for a two-liter and big bag of chips, and she was off to find a shady niche beneath a rotting old fishing pier on a shoreline littered with garbage.

It was a tricky trek down with an armful of goods, across jagged boulders coated in places with sharp mussels, but she made it without dropping or squishing anything.

“Hello?” she called out into the dark shadow of the abandoned pier. “Anyone home?” As she crept out of the light, her eyes adjusted.

Something moved then, and if she didn’t know any better, she might have feared it was a leg of the pier collapsing as it bent.

The local known as the Southside Freak crossed the shadows in two long strides, coming to a pause before Shilo. She stood almost eye-level with knobby scabbed knees set into stilt-like legs for a moment before the living urban legend crouched down. Her head still hovered far above Shilo’s.

She tipped her head back to offer a smile and held up the sandwich, chips, and bottle of coke. “I brought you lunch,” she said, steadying her voice.

The gaunt giantess reached out with trembling fingers the length of Shilo’s forearm to delicately take the two-liter. “Thank you,” she mumbled politely, her voice both booming and fragile at the same time, and turned away to awkwardly shuffle further up the shore to a sandy spot she’d cleared of rubble, just out of the water’s reach during high tide.

Shilo followed and sat down beside the giant girl. Well, she wasn’t really a girl. Or maybe she was. Gloria couldn’t remember her age. She couldn’t remember where she’d come from either. One thing was for certain – she didn’t come out of nowhere. Someone as tall as her couldn’t have. It seemed like each day she’d grown another inch. Shilo chalked it up to her imagination.

She’d finally had her first fleeting encounter with Gloria a month ago, but it was hard to say if she’d really been shorter back then. And then, little more than two weeks ago, Team Go had been called out again to investigate a sighting. Shego had unwittingly cornered her beneath the pier, and by the green light of her fire she’d seen the long-limbed figure trembling, wrapped up in sheets stitched together with fishing line that sufficed as a dress. The Southside Freak had quietly and desperately begged Shego not to hurt her, pleading for her to just leave.

So she did. She didn’t even tell her brothers what she’d found.

Of course, she’d come back the next day as Shilo, and she’d brought a token of peace with her. Since then, rain or shine, she’d been skipping school and sneaking off on weekends to bring lunch to the famished Southside Freak whose name, she learned after a full week, was Gloria Grace. At close to twenty feet tall, glorious or graceful weren’t words Shilo would use to describe the gangly giantess. She often suspected the girl had made up the name, but never questioned it aloud. Gloria it was.

Shilo unwrapped the sandwich as Gloria carefully sipped from the bottle. “I couldn’t make it yesterday,” she said, as if the starving girl hadn’t noticed, and added in a mutter, “sorry.” She would have brought more cash than what was necessary for the bus fair and lunch, but Hugo was careful about how much he let her go to school with lest she bring home some gateway drug and risk spoiling the good hero name. As it were, Gloria needed the meal more than she did.

She passed up the sub and opened up the bag for Gloria too without taking a single chip for herself, staving off the hunger pangs.

“So,” she said carefully as the giantess savored each bite. She tore her eyes off the sheet-clad girl, finding an old fishing pole lodged in the rocks a little ways down the shore to watch instead. Most days Gloria swore she caught enough marine life to sustain herself – she certainly smelled like she did – but a girl couldn’t survive on fish alone. The mere thought made Shilo gag a little, but she cleared her throat and ignored the pungent odor permeating the air. “Is today the day?”

Gloria held a tiny chip between two overgrown nails and frowned at her knees. Then she shook her head. “N-no. Not today.”

“You can’t hide forever, GG,” she pressed gently. It was a fact. The girl had certainly become worse at staying discreet, if the increasing number of reports had anything to say about it. She tried not to frown too deeply at the ocean when the giantess scooted away from her. “I know you’re shy, but the sooner you get it over with, the sooner we can…maybe…get you back to normal. Or as close to normal as we can.” Clothes that fit her would be a good place to start. She’d recently tried learning how to sew for GG’s sake, but there wasn’t enough time in the day for it. Not with the burden of Team Go duties anyway.

“I like it here.” She wasn’t a very good liar.

“You were seen yesterday.”

Gloria winced. “Yeah.”

“The weather’s going to get bad this weekend,” Shilo noted, knowing already she was failing to persuade Gloria to come out of hiding. Before the giantess could disregard it too, she added, “And my sweet sixteen coming up. Would be cool to have a friend there.”

The long-limbed mutant nearly dropped the bag of chips. “I-I’ll take a rain check,” she said nervously.

Shilo rocked back, quipping, “You sure? We could talk about boys, paint each other’s nails.” She tried to laugh lightheartedly, knowing full well that bringing a giant girl over to hang out wouldn’t fly. “I’ve got a big brother you might think is cute.” The notion was absurd, but it worked to bring a very human blush out on Gloria’s bony cheeks.

The giant girl fidgeted with her sheet-dress and shook her head. “You wouldn’t want a freak like me crashing your party.”

“Ah, the more the merrier,” Shilo said flippantly. “Come on, GG. What do you say?”

Gloria Grace looked down to her with apprehension. “What do you mean?”

“Hm?”

“The more the merrier,” Gloria echoed curiously. “You’re not a freak.”

Shilo spared a glance up at the giantess finishing off the sub sandwich in two bites. She wanted to tell the giant girl that she wasn’t a freak either, but that was a far stretch from the truth. Gloria was a lot of things – scared, scrappy, exceptionally tall – but she wasn’t stupid. The giant girl knew she was unusual to terrifying degree, and it daunted even Shilo.

She stood then, brushing off the sand. “I gotta get going.”

“Wait!” The desperation in the giant girl’s voice was pitiful. “You’ll come back tomorrow, won’t you?”

Biting her lip and hugging herself, she could do little more than shrug in reply. “No promises – but I’ll try. Bye!” She spun then and began picking her way across the boulders back up to the road. One small glance over her shoulder, and she saw the pale figure and head of dirty brown curls peeking out from under the bridge.

“Goodbye, Shilo,” called GG after her.

Shilo gave a small wave and was gone, barely catching a northbound bus in time.

As she flopped down in the back, watching the last glimpse of ocean slide away, she mulled over Gloria Grace’s words. “You’re not a freak,” she repeated to herself. It felt like a lie. Her chest constricted and she swallowed hard. Even if the giantess was undoubtedly the more peculiar of them on the surface, they were both misfits. Gloria didn’t have to know that though. Shilo almost hoped she’d never make the connection. Someone who didn’t view her as freakish was nice in a way, even if it meant hiding a part of herself.

++X++

She made it back to school in time for sixth period, but she’d barely shrugged on her dirtied jacket to conform to dress code when Hugo came sprinting up the hall to cut her off. She knew she’d been caught the instant she saw him bowling towards her.

“There you are!” he gasped. He didn’t pause to shoot the breeze – merely latched onto her arm with a grip like a tourniquet and began hauling her away. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you!”

Her shoulders would have slumped if she was given a chance, but instead she was forced to stumble after him. “What is it this time?” she groaned, exasperated. She could take a good guess. He wouldn’t be in such a hurry for anything else.

If there was any question about it before, the glance Hugo shot her told her all she needed to know. He couldn’t openly discuss the details in a hall full of ears – not outside of uniform anyway. So he pulled her along quickly as he could without slinging her over his shoulder to pick up the pace.

Once she’d claimed shotgun of his coppery old Sloth, Hugo barely waited for her to buckle up before flooring it out of the parking lot. Moments later, they were pulled up behind the junior high, tween brother Milo popping up out of his designated hiding place in the bushes to dive into the back seat.

“Sweet!” he practically shouted, voice cracking in Shilo’s ear. He leaned between the seats, smelling strongly of sugary donuts he must have conned out of a classmate, and Shilo had to hold her breath to ignore her hunger pangs. “What is it this time? Someone threatening the ballpark again?”

“No,” said Hugo, making a beeline for the nearest Global Justice hideout where Betty Director herself would be waiting for them. “The Southside Freak was just spotted.”

Sitting on her hands, Shilo sank in her seat and scowled out the window. She should have guessed they were being sicced on GG again. They were called on her no less than twice a week. So far, Shego had been able to steer her teammates clear of the giant girl, who was still adamant on keeping her low profile to avoid confrontation she was so sure she’d be faced with should Team Go or anyone else catch her.

The way Hugo’s knuckles paled as he gripped the wheel, she couldn’t say a confrontation wouldn’t escalate and blow up. “We’ll catch the monster this time,” he swore. “And then the people there can rest easy at night.”

“I think the people from Southside have a lot worse to worry about than a walking lamppost,” Shilo grumbled.

Her big brother flicked an unhappy frown her way. “We should have been on this ten minutes ago,” he chastised. “Where were you?”

“I bet you a fiver she was smoking again,” Milo said and leaned over to take a whiff. “Hego, you got a breathalyzer on you?”

Shilo shoved her little brother’s face away. “Breathalyzers don’t work that way, idiot.”

“Quit fooling around,” said Hugo. “We’ve got to make this quick if we want to catch it.”

It. Shilo rolled her eyes.

Sooner than she would have liked, she was zipped and buckled up in the snug form-fitting attire of Shego, the second uniform she’d worn today.

The head honcho of Global Justice wished them luck, wearing a smirk for Mego and giving Hego an approving nod. Suspicious eyes cast to Shego however, and she was glad to escape them, following her brothers back out of the hidden conference room and into the alley to get back in the car – only it wasn’t the car they’d arrived in. Global Justice worked in mysterious ways and had the means to do mysterious things – like replace the Sloth with a white Spider customized with vibrant bolts of color coinciding with each member of Team Go. Shego turned a blind eye to the two little red stripes in the paint job.

The sportscar was a trap – and not just a deathtrap – but the seats were comfortable and Shego knew for a fact that the radio wasn’t as static-ridden as the ones in the old Sloth or family van – not that she ever got to enjoy it. The pricy convertible wasn’t for pleasure. It was armed to the teeth and the dash was equipped with advanced technology for tracking, spying, and communications that Team Go still hadn’t fully learned to operate. Even without the rocket boosters mounted to the back, the Go Kart was capable of reaching 300 miles per hour – just in case they were ever in a hurry.

It was excessive and nothing more than a flashy bribe to tempt them with the gadgets and luxuries they could have if they gave up their family life to play GJ’s game indefinitely. Their family was just shy of dysfunctional enough not to buy into it just yet, even if Hugo – Hego – reveled in playing the game at any given opportunity, convinced he was duty-bound.

Shego was just tying on her domino mask as they sped out of the ally, feeling like a clown and hating that people pointing and gawking was becoming an everyday occurrence as they sped across town. She rehearsed in her head the protocol she’d set in place for when they reached Southside. She’d tell Hego to look over there, while she’d take Mego and look elsewhere, steering them clear of the pier where the resident cryptid took shelter.

That plan was blown out of the water when Hugo pulled abruptly to the shoulder, the pier in question in sight. “Around here,” he announced. “Spread out.”

“Mego, you’re with me,” Shego said anyway, and made a grab for her little lavender brother.

He dodged her, shrinking to duck before bouncing back. “No way!” he said. “I’m going to find it first this time!”

Hego shot him a smile over his shoulder as he strode off toward the defunct pier. “You call for us when you do,” he said, as if he really had faith in his little brother. After a month of tracking the mysterious creature supposedly terrorizing the neighborhood, honing in on her location with each sweep, Shego could tell he just wanted the goose chase to be over with once and for all, even if it meant Mego got credit for it.

She knew from experience that Hego was unmovable once he got in the mindset. The best she could hope for was that the giant girl had taken shelter in an alley or someone’s garage somewhere as she dashed after him.

He opened his mouth to tell her off but decided it was a lost cause, and cracked his knuckles instead, no doubt ready and eager to punch something. He really liked getting to show off like that lately. “The Southside Freak was spotted around here,” he stated with a nod toward the dilapidated pier, and Shego grimaced once more at what Gloria Grace had been dubbed. It was an official label of the supposed culprit terrorizing the neighborhood, filed away with many others like it in GJ’s records.

“What if she’s not a freak?” Shego blurted suddenly, jumping out ahead of Hego, hands up to stop him.

“Sister, you’ve seen the photos,” he reminded. “This thing defines freakish.” It was a hard point to argue.

She couldn’t smother her nervous chuckle. “But what if it’s all just a big hoax?” she suggested, not for the first time.

Hego was ready to brush her aside, but slammed a fist into his palm as if to drive his point. “Then we’ll reveal the culprit behind it and call it a day.”

“It could just be a prank—”

“When it comes to destroying private and public property, it’s no longer a prank,” Hego argued.

Shego opened her mouth again but before she could even think of anything to add, the frenzied barking of a dog followed by a car alarm and a crash interrupted. She turned and the last person she wanted to see came tumbling out of a street ahead, scrambling in her mad dash for the pier.

++X++

While Shego stood rooted in place, her brothers sprinted past her, their superpowers activated and ready for a fight. Gloria Grace’s bewildered eyes locked on hers, if only for a split second. Next Shego felt her legs begin to move just as the Southside Freak backpedaled to run the other way.

“Don’t let it escape!” Hego bellowed, and he grabbed hold of Mego, who was happy to bounce into his hands to be hefted up and thrown like a missile. Barely hitting the mark, the lavender boy landed on the giant’s back and clung to her sheet-dress like a baby monkey.

Shego raced past her big brother, giving him a shove of annoyance that didn’t even faze him.

“Halt! In the name of justice!” Hego shouted at the giant, as if any perpetrator was ever that compliant. Shego might have rolled her eyes at the rehearsed line if she weren’t preoccupied, and she ignored the order he barked after her. “Shego! Trip it!”

Gloria Grace covered ground fast with her long legs, seemingly oblivious to Mego squealing for her to stop as he held on like a tiny purple backpack. Shego pushed herself harder to catch up, desperately hoping with every beat of her pounding heart that the girl wouldn’t bump into a deadly power line by accident as she ducked beneath the cables every few paces.

“Wait!” Shego screamed, but the gentle giant must not have heard her. She barely heard herself.

She heard the engine of the Go Kart revving up behind her though, and barely had the chance to flick a sidelong glance before the sportscar zoomed ahead of her, only to pause just long enough for Shego to hop in. Hego stomped on the gas a little too eagerly, lurching them forward, and she caught his eyes popping wide in alarm. He’d only been driving for a few months and it was much too soon for him to be behind the wheel of such a vehicle.

Ahead, Gloria had taken a turn inland and was bounding through traffic, many vehicles swerving out of her way and at least one rear-ending another. The compact Go Kart barely zipped through in her wake.

Hego’s hand hovered over the dash and the numerous buttons and knobs there. “Which one of these deploys the—?”

“You are not launching anything at her!” Shego snapped. She was braced in an awkward crouch in her seat, holding on tight to the door and headrest, ready to jump on Gloria or wave her down – or something—

“I’m not going to hurt it!”

“You guys!” shrieked Mego as he was jostled upon the giant’s back. “Any time now!”

“Get up alongside her,” Shego ordered, and Hego threw her a questioning look. She scowled back. “Do it!”

His apprehension was fleeting, but he must have trusted her to have a plan because he did as she requested.

Ignoring her brother’s worry, Shego stood as straight as she dared in the speeding Go Kart now zooming along beside the panicked giant’s shins. “GG!” she shouted around cupped hands. “GLORIA!”

Wide panicked eyes snapped down to her, and Shego scarcely had the chance to hope it was recognition she saw in them. Gloria took more two gigantic steps and reeled, curly brown locks bouncing around her gaunt face as she came to a sudden stop uncomfortably close to the next set of power lines across her path.

Hego’s fingers hooked her belt then, pulling Shego back down into her seat to keep her from flying out as he hit the brakes and whipped around in front of the giant collapsing back on her rear. “That thing is a woman?” he blurted in realization now that he finally had the chance to really observe it.

Shego threw a worried glance back and was relieved he wasn’t springing into action as he’d been so ready to before he’d thought to fetch the Go Kart. Even someone as dense as Hego could read a room, though his aura all but shimmered in pops of blue around him in anticipation for a fight.

Jumping out of the car, Shego held her hands up in peace, stopping in her tracks when the giant girl began shuffling back at her approach. Car horns and alarms blared and civilians were still screaming as they scattered, but she tried not to let the commotion bother her as she called up, “We’re here to help you.” It was a lie. The assignment wasn’t to help the perpetrator – it was to take down and capture an unidentified creature. Plans had a funny way of changing though. She could only hope Betty would be understanding.

“Sh-Shi—?”

“Shego,” she corrected before her name could leave the giant girl’s lips.

“You’re one of them?” cried the giant, her distress resonating off the surrounding buildings towering above even her.

“It’s okay, Gloria,” Shego swore, hands up and unlit. She had a hunch Gloria was terrified of Team Go’s glow – especially hers, which presented itself as something too similar to fire. “We’re not going to hurt you.”

Huge hazel eyes were brimmed with tears and she looked from Shego to Hego approaching slowly to stand just behind her. She didn’t look terribly convinced, but seconds passed without one of Team Go’s signature fights breaking out.

“Someone get me down!” howled Mego suddenly, his head peeking up over Gloria’s shoulder.

He was almost shaken off with her startled gasp, and GG dented a car hood as she leaned aside to gawp at the boy clinging to her. It was a wonder she didn’t brush him off like a bug in reflex.

“Oh, just jump, Mi— Mego,” Shego snapped at him. It wasn’t that far. He’d be fine.

Before he could work up the courage leap down, Gloria reached over and, as gentle a giant as ever, plucked him off her shoulder. Mego didn’t complain about the ride in a palm the size of a chair seat, but he hopped off before she could set him down herself and stumbled unsteadily toward his teammates.

Hego was quick to give him a congratulatory smack on the back that nearly knocked him to the pavement. “Way to go, champ!” he praised. “Good job holding on. You could take up professional bull riding.”

A woozy groan answered Team Go's posterboy, and then Mego was doubling over, upchucking his lunch. Which had been colorful, to say the least. “Dude,” Mego whimpered, tears streaming past his domino mask and down his cheeks, “I’m never eating donuts with sprinkles ever again.”

Shego cringed and tore her eyes away, stepping back quickly before the mess could get on her boots. She looked up to Gloria, the giant girl still stunned but clutching herself.

A hand rested on Shego’s shoulder and she flinched, looking up at her big brother who was looking down gravely at her. “You know the Southside Freak?” he asked.

She swallowed and nodded in reply.

++X++

So she got in a bit of hot water that day.

It didn’t end with a distraught lecture about a whole slew of things from Hego once they were in private or a slap on the wrist from Betty for withholding information. The penalty wasn’t too severe, but it was still a little more than a simple grounding. She had makeup work to do for skipping classes, she was essentially put back under house arrest, and the supervising organization swore to keep a closer eye on her for the foreseeable future until she proved herself trustworthy again, which meant hanging out with particular acquaintances at school was no longer an option to fill the social void.

She’d anticipated the punishment and was ready to accept it, even keeping her aggravation to herself when the morning after the Southside Freak was – peacefully – taken into custody, the newspapers began selling stories of Go City finally rid of another terror, all thanks to Team Go. Of course photographs had been snapped before a semi-truck had arrived to take the scared woman away to one of Global Justice’s outposts.

Shego had felt like she was lying through her teeth when she promised the research center would help her sort out her little mutation crisis.

Otherwise, the case of the Southside Freak was put behind her. There were bigger fish to fry and a new villain of the week to contend with. She had enough on her plate juggling family, school, and hero life to dwell on closed cases she was officially no longer involved in.

Some weeks later, like a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding, relief washed over her to discover big brother had kept their end of the deal. She almost didn’t recognize the brunette towering over the front door when she answered it. The giant girl was still inhumanly tall, casual jeans and tee custom tailored, but she was much more proportionate now, even if she still had to stoop to fit under the porch roof.

Gloria Grace was a stage name as it turned out, as she was a born and raised performer. She was a circus freak by definition and she was happy with her hand in life. She’d been seventeen and on tour with her folks, who were exceptionally tall themselves though they no longer held a candle to her, when Lady Fate came to Go City last April. Gloria never returned home to her trailer that night. Whatever had happened to her during her strange year away living on the outskirts of Go City, Global Justice’s team of clever scientists had been able to treat, gradually reversing the effects.

Her memory was still sketchy, GG explained as she sat on the front porch with Shilo to sip cola, but she still knew how to do what she did best – and that was be a freak. She smiled as she said so, and gave Shilo a handful of tickets for the traveling circus that had come to Go City. Shilo was apprehensive, but the show was for one night and one night only, so she took them and smiled back and promised to see her there.

She almost didn’t go.

She was glad she did.

It took some degree of begging before her pops let up on the curfew restriction and agreed to an outing for the sake of overdue quality time with the family. Surrounded by them on all sides, either popcorn or the twerps in her lap, Shilo waited anxiously for the giant girl’s debut that night, beating back the fear of the audience gasping in horror.

She was nervous for nothing. Despite first impressions, Gloria Grace the Giant Girl lived up to her title. The crowd was surprised – but in a remarkably good way that put her worries to rest. Oohs and ahhs were a much better sound than the screams of terror Gloria had been met with time and time again over the past year.

Gloria fit in among her own family of misfits, and her extraordinary condition was a more than welcomed sight. Shilo watched as the giant girl in the billowing skirt and vibrant sequins fluffy frills preformed her dance routine with a family larger than life and assisted in the performances of others. Throughout the whole evening, the giant girl wore a smile. It wasn’t just for show, either.

When all was said and done, Shilo slipped away from behind the circus tent, waving a tentative goodbye to the exuberant young lady who was ecstatic to be reunited and back bigger and better than ever, though she had joked about standing to lose a few inches, as if it would be as easy as diet and exercise.

The last she saw of GG was through the rear window of the family van, catching a final glimpse of her happily signing autographs and posing for photos.

Clearly some people – mutant or otherwise – took genuine pride in being a freak.

As Shilo sat on the edge of her bed that night, studying the radium-green plasma bubbling from her hands, she couldn’t help wondering if being a freak was for her.

#The F Word #Kim Possible #Shego #Team Go #fanfiction #oneshot

9 notes · View notes

mayrubyy · 5 years ago

Photo

Clouded (II)

➻ Pairing- Chanyeol x Reader

➻ Genre - Angst

➻ Word Count - 9.3k

➻ Rating - (M) | Masterlist | Status - Ongoing

Warning! this contains strong language, fwb concept, explicit sex and angst themes that are intended for mature audiences. (although, there’s a lot of fluff in this chapter) Please don’t read if you’re not comfortable with the said themes and if you’re under 18!

☾ Stargazing

“All geared up!”

You were by the door adoring Chanyeol who was busy giving all his attention to the telescope in his hands, handling the device delicately. There was a glimmer of excitement in his eyes as though the inner nerd in him had purely jumped out. It seemed like he'd been holding back and kept it to himself all this while and he'd finally revealed it. His passion for all things outer space besides music– all to you as he continued gathering the rest of his tools.

All for his stargazing adventure with you tonight.

From guides to refractors and lenses to god knows what else went into the equipment. Astronomy was nowhere near your spectrum. Chanyeol however looked like he knew everything by the back of his hand. It was wholesome to watch him be himself all night quite literally. It felt good to become completely absorbed in his little actions. He was wearing glasses, the round ones and he'd keep pouting because he was so focused on what he was doing, making him look all the more softer and nerdier and you couldn't get enough of it.

“Um, babe?" clearing your throat, you garner his attention back to you, "are you going to take all night just prepping up or what?”

“Hey! I’m done!” he grumbles, voice deep and bratty as he gives you a childish glare and you simply snicker at his response. "Let’s get going." He tells you, immediately followed by a grunt as he picks up the huge bag which must have been heavy because his face had alarmingly turned a flushing shade of pink. He began struggling, sucking air from his mouth and you were now actually concerned.

“Yeol, you okay?!” you rush towards him and as if to make his pride in calling himself an untouchable man more evident, his iconic smirk returns to his features, forming at the curve of his lips like he didn’t know what ‘heavy’ was.

“Of course I am." He scoffs. Chanyeol was strong but you were not exactly sure if he was actually okay with the telescope and the other tools (books to be precise) weighing him down. Not that you could help him. You were in fact very fragile and in no shape to carry anything that was heavy. The least you could do was comfort him with your never ending kisses later on but you were already running out of time.

Getting to the car perhaps, was a bit of a struggle and boy he was clumsy. He really did look like a giraffe. He kept stumbling on the way as you followed him from behind. “Are you sure you need the books, Yeol?” you ask him raising your eyebrows as he carefully heaves the bag into the backseat of his car. He soon turns to you and rubs his hands together, “oh yeah." He snorts, “need them big time”.

“It’s going to be dark…out there,” you didn’t want to burst his bubble or make it seem obvious. He simply scrunched his nose at your statement and the more you looked at him you couldn’t deny how adorable he looked in the low lighting. The shadows curving around his eyes made him look ethereal. The edges had turned into soft crescents adding to his already handsome face. And he had the most gorgeous eyes you’d ever seen, eyes you could drown yourself in. God. Everything about him was so captivating and he’d already caught you multiple times ogling at him like this.

Before you could process what was happening, you see him lurching towards you again. With the same devilish grin, he pins you against the car. His odd but quirky habit of squishing you into corners that you’d gotten so dreadfully used to by now.

“For once, I want to look smart." He was threatening you, boring his dark brown orbs into yours, his dimple perfectly taking its shape as his smirk widened, “why don’t you just play along?”

And before you could decipher anything, his lips were colliding with yours for a fleeting kiss that slowly deepens into a proper one. A sweet kiss that felt like it went on for decades before he detaches himself from you and filling the air with a loud wet pop. The loss of feeling his plump lips against your own makes you whine as you’re snapped back into your senses. Your limbs had failed you and you stand frozen, pressed between him and the car, looking dazed and very much affected by his sudden caper as you struggle to regain your composure.

“Good girl." He wipes his thumb over your bottom lip with a shit eating grin on his face like he had just accomplished something. Chanyeol always had a knack for pulling stunts like these and celebrating himself. Adding to one of the many odd yet adorably dumb things about him. You watch him walk back biting his lip before getting into the car, rolling the glass down, he calls your name with a medieval accent which makes you convulse with cringe. “Get in, loser!”

“Such a noob." You sigh to yourself and palm your face before joining him in the car.

“We’re going stargazing.” He chimes, giving you a flirty wink and you roll your eyes at him. He was too delightful to have around. So much that even in a hurricane of frowns, he was like a happy virus, one that could light up a million towns and make everyone swoon over his elf-like smile. But, there was also a certain mystery to him and the mere thought of it fuddled endlessly with your mind and you’d find yourself contemplating your choices all over again.

You could never clearly tell what he truly had on his mind. Conflicting, that’s what Park Chanyeol was. The duality was unnerving. He was always so full of charms, full of antics and so darn full of himself. He was so perfect but also so fucking raw. He had taught you so many things over time and had become a part of your life– a part of you that you couldn’t let go. You were already broken but losing him was something that terrified you.

He was latched onto your heart and you feared that sooner or later, it would eventually tear you apart.

Chanyeol’s passion for music had always intrigued you. You loved watching him compose and play his guitar in his studio. His voice was so unique, so husky and so deep, it had an insane effect on you. It made your heart flutter wildly but also calmed you down and lulled you to sleep when you needed it the most. Mostly when he would trail his fingers softly along the expanse of your skin and whisper to you about how love was bogus or when he’d press a kiss to the back of your neck and tell you what you both had was in fact better than love.

And you hopelessly believed him. He was comforting you in many ways and the more you started spending your time together– the longer your rainy nights grew with him. And the more you began craving for him. Although with time, the farther he began getting away from you. At first, you thought it made sense because this was only meant to be a sweet escapade like he had told you but, your heart nor your soul would want to believe that.

It hurt because you knew he wouldn’t surrender and even if you tried to leave him, the constant struggle of wanting to crawl back to him would linger. It would grow from cherishing what you had before you turned up at his door on that one rainy night. Way before all of this ensued.

You would remember how edgy and overly enthusiastic he’d get every time he played Bohemian Rhapsody and to this day you cannot forget how he chased Baekhyun around as you gaped at him in awe from the corner. He was shamelessly stealing your attention and charming you by playing his invisible piano, as dramatic he could get while doing it. Or when he stuffed his mouth full of fishsticks and hamburgers and mumbled to you not to stare at him when he's eating because it made him blush. When in fact he was the one who always gaped at you while you ate.

The vicinity of his studio had become one of your cozy getaways, your sweet escape from reality with him for countless nights as he peppered your body with his soft lips and dug his teeth into your skin, all while humming into your neck as his fingers worked between your thighs, making you quiver uncontrollably.

It was already too late to turn things around. You’d both were too caught up in the moment to realize it was wrong. He wasn’t complaining and neither were you.

And after you’d left, he would facetime you and whine about the little things. More often whilst struggling to get the notes right. Or when he was too drunk and whined about wanting to fuck you right then and there. This one time he held Jongin’s foot and pretended it was a receiver making your eyes tear up from laughing too hard. There were many moments you’d look back at now and wonder to yourself. What if you could have remained like that and not worry about where you’d both landed now? What if you hadn’t started seeking more from this bond you’d both had formed? Were you really that selfish? But then again neither of you believed in love and that’s what drew you towards each other.

It was emotionally exhausting and on top of that your anxious self and skepticism was making it worse by the day.

The drive to the location he’d planned had him humming to his favorite tunes. Some were ballads, some were pop rock and some were classics. Of them all, one he liked most to sing when you were particularly around was Magic by Coldplay. And Chanyeol wouldn’t stop singing along. It felt like he was strumming on your heart strings and to be honest he really was.

♫ I don’t, no, I don’t, no, I don’t, no, I don’t ♫

His eyes, although were on the road, every time he swerved to look at you, they were so dreamy. It made your heart swell. He was too pure at moments like these and you knew this was etching its way into your memory.

♪ ‘Want anybody else but you’. ♪

You want him too, more than anybody else. You’d keep him in your heart forever and it stood true but you knew you couldn’t have him. You’d trade all your tomorrows if you could convince him what you both had was in fact love but why couldn’t he see? You feared you were being dramatic but he was with you right now.

Isn’t that what truly mattered?

“Babe?”

You were so lost in your own cacophony of thoughts, Chanyeol nudges you back to reality. “You alright, there?” his hand was on your shoulder, squeezing it gently. You assure him that you were fine even though you weren’t. How would you be? This was probably going to be the last night you’d spend together. You had to open up about it later to him tonight and being brutally aware of the pain and how it could so easily rip your heart out. You dreaded how he would react.

You always did.

After having your first fight with him, you weren’t too hard on him. You allowed yourselves some time and he eventually let you back in. You made brownies together, smudged melted chocolate onto each others faces and chuckled your hearts away, screaming “fuck love” into the air. Only seconds later he had you pinned against the nearest wall he could find, a smug smile on his lips as he groaned and nibbled away, tasting the chocolate off your skin. The rest was muffled screams behind his bedroom door. The next day you were so sore he didn’t let you leave. He helped you with your assignment and continued to steal kisses from you. His cocky self quipped about how good he fucked you into the mattress just so he could get to baby you and pamper you like this. You’d both joked about how he’d made you his prisoner. And you just punched him until you both became a tangled mess again and made your way back into his studio, you straddling him as he devoured you all over again.

It was hard to recollect all of it thinking you weren’t going to have a forever with him. You grew tired of feeling like this. Of feeling so strung out and confused all the time and it was not just Chanyeol’s fault. It was equally yours and you wouldn’t stop blaming yourself for allowing it to slip so easily out of your hands.

“Is it the motion sickness?” he asks you looking even more worried. The knot of guilt in your stomach was slowly becoming unbearable.

“I’m just…tired.” You lie, for now you think there’s nothing you could possibly do other than lie. It was your last resort. “How far is it?” you ask him chewing on your lip as you fiddle with the air vent to distract yourself. It wasn’t that you were eager to wanting to put an end to it. With every passing minute, the nervousness was beginning to seep through your skin.

“Two more miles and we’ll be there." He had taken your hand into his own, lips warm as they brushed against them. He kissed them softly before returning his attention to the wheel. You wish it had been easier. Your life wasn’t some fairy tale where everything would just magically fall back into place. Why did you have to fuck everything up so badly?

God, the agony.

He was smiling at you, singing his favorite songs to you. Maybe you don’t have to worry about it, he will understand, right? He knows you better than most people out there. Turning your head to his side, you look at him again. His face was a little puffy from his nap, nevertheless, he was so breathtaking. You could just slip into his arms and forget about ever thinking of leaving him. He was right next to you. He was your Yeol after all.

“We’re here, babygirl."

It takes you a few seconds to register that the car had stopped moving. When you peered outside, you could tell you were now on a hilltop. It was dark, almost pitch black except for the light from the headlights of Chanyeol’s car falling on the railing along the edge of the hill. It was no surprise that nobody was around. It was a cold night and the sound of crickets and a few other insects buzzed in the air. You rolled the window down and inhaled, allowing the sweet air to fill your lungs. The night breeze gently began drifting through your hair offering you a much needed break from your unceasing brooding.

You were always so busy, caught up with college and your life so much that it never occured to you how some parts of the city were like this. So tranquil and away from all the noise. You step out of the car and swirl around to observe your surroundings. From one end of the hill you could see the distant city lights scattered. They looked like tiny glitters on a dark canvas and from the other end you could see more hills dotting the horizon. Even though they had no lights, the view was absolutely gorgeous.

It got even better when you began looking upwards, watching the fluffy clouds float by. And the stars, god, the stars were flecked across the night sky like diamonds. The shiniest one could ever find and they were so bright. When your eyes finally landed on the moon, you were taken aback, completely awestruck by its glow. Never would you be able to get a view like this from within the city but this? This was so magical. An entirely new experience for you and it was all because of his one silly request. You feel Chanyeol’s body brush up against yours from behind, his hands caressing up and down your arms drawing the much needed heat on your skin.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” he plants his chin on your shoulder.

You turn, slow to realize that your lips were ghosting over his, you reply breathily, “very”.

“Knew you would like it." He snuggles into your neck and you hold your breath because good god, it felt so good. The air was cold and Chanyeol was warm, so warm it was like finding solace in his arms. You could stay like this forever if you could. This was the love you were looking for and regretfully enough, this was also the love he didn’t believe in and you were reluctantly willing to let go of. Deep within, you believed you never deserved this kind of love and perhaps he felt the same way about it too. You knew the internal conflict was going to be endless. It has always been like this. But why couldn’t this last a little longer? Why did it have to be just another rainy night? His version of love, you wonder if he would ever call it that, whatever it was, it was so intoxicating and so frustrating.

‘The pain and hurt would come for you sooner or later’. The words echoed in your head like some melancholic record and it wouldn’t stop playing or occupying your thoughts. Especially during your precious time with the boy you had so miserably fallen in love with. As regretfully as it may have been, it rang deep in your heart whether you truly wanted him to know that you ached for him. That you longed for him. Every time you did tell him, he would dismiss your feelings by saying you were getting carried away. Maybe he was right but being okay with not wanting to take it any further was wrong and it was eating you. It only brought you closer to having to worry about facing the consequences all rather than living in the moment.

Stop conflicting. You tell yourself. Just stop. You were in his arms, in your happy little place, away from everyone right now then why do you have to be so scared? More importantly, why were you so unsure about all of this? You knew you wanted to fix it but the way you were approaching things made it all seem worse than you could have possibly imagined it to be.

Why couldn’t you just decide already?

That’s it. You really had to stop. You had to let go of this fear– you had to fight it. You had to buckle up for the worse. Maybe then you’ll be able to maneuver through the mess you’ve made easily later. But, right now, all that truly mattered to you was Chanyeol. He was going to be yours for the rest of the night.

And nobody can take that away from you.

It was amusing to watch Chanyeol set the telescope up. His butt was sticking out of the car while trying to retrieve the rest of the gear. When you offered to help him he kept telling you to be gentle which only further made you crack up. To top that it bothered him that you weren’t playing along in his geekventure. You found his reactions unbearably cute. Soon, he began wandering with a compass in hand, looking for the perfect spot to set the base. He got on his knees to assemble the tripod and align the instrument properly. Some scientific and astronomical terms slipped out from him further puzzling you.

You had no idea what he was going on about. He said something about finding Polaris, which is supposed to be the North Star. He also mentioned something about the northern hemisphere. You were never really great with Science or Geography to begin with so you just stood there, stretching your arms out of boredom and occasionally hopping around him in the open and making him chuckle. It was cold and you couldn’t bother Geek Chanyeol right now. He was a busy boy. After spending some time and finally setting everything up, he tweaks a few things and calls you.

“Babe, look! I got Jupiter!”

You try to crouch beside him and unexpectedly stumble. Involuntarily losing your balance you collapse on top of him. “Shit I'm so sorry. Are you okay?!” You quickly pick yourself up and realize he’s sprawled on the ground, hand clutching his chest, expression aghast like you just scared the living shit out of him.

“Fuck- I thought you broke the telescope!" He gasped loudly. Did it make you feel sorry that he valued the device more than you? You lay your palm flat against his chest to comfort him instead, leaning closer to his face you plant a soft kiss on his lips. “I’m sorry." You mumble quietly. Chanyeol sits up, using his feet clumsily he inches himself closer and whispers back to you. “You don’t have to be."

“With me," he continues, “there’s nothing you need to worry about”. His eyes were glued on yours and they were gleaming, just like the stars in the sky. You look away for a moment and turn your eyes to the ground. “I know, Yeol." You mumble under your breath and blink softly a few times looking down at your sneakers. “I know I don’t have to."

You spend the next few moments in complete silence, gazing into each other deeply, letting your eyes do all the talking like you’d forgotten about stargazing and why you were even here on a deserted hill with a bunch of equipment orbiting you both. You weren’t sure what exactly he had on his mind to be looking at you like this but somewhere, something felt odd like he was hiding something from you.

“You okay?” breaking the silence, you place your hand over his knee and caress it gently.

“I’m just,” he pauses, “I consider myself lucky." He rests his own hand on top of yours, “very lucky”. Sensing from his voice, you felt that it wasn’t easy for him to speak those words. It wasn’t groggy or anything but it was kind of heavy. You could easily tell with how trapped the air was in his chest. “Anyway,” trailing off, he quickly picks himself up, patting the dust off his jeans. Holding his hand out to you, he helps you off the ground. Once you were on your feet he asks you to turn around and you being you, heeding to everything he says find to your horror that he was spanking you?

“Yeol, what the fuck are you doing?!”

“There's dust on your jeans baby." You swish to his side to find a very pleased Chanyeol, a smug smile plastered across his face. “Just patting the dust off." Yeah, right he was patting the dust off your ass. He sure knew how to avoid talking about feelings with his dumb shenanigans. “Why?” suddenly, he pulls you closer to him, both of his hands smoothing over your rear as he digs his sturdy fingers further into your flesh. “Is there a problem?”

Fuck. This time, he was definitely being very fucking rude.

“You really are something, aren’t you Park?” Your own hands find purchase on his chest and travelling upwards, you wrap your fingers around his nape and allow him to lean closer.

“You’re something quite yourself,” Chanyeol quips, “and, guess what?”.

You lift your chin up in response as you trail your fingers down his jaw, “yeah?” He stares at your swollen lips with his mouth slightly ajar.

“I find you attractive." He rasps deliciously. “Very, very attractive."

“Are you flirting with me?” You cock an eyebrow at his words.

“Am I not allowed to or what?” he was now kneading your ass together, smirking wide enough for his dimple to appear again, further defining and adding to his handsome features. “It’s not like I can stop you or anything." You take the opportunity and bite into his lip, making his breath hitch slightly and it wasn’t long before he delved into you.

His lips were warm and moist, supple against your own. His tongue was already seeking entrance, trying to dominate its way into your mouth. You part your lips and give him the access to dive in and taste you. Your own breathing becomes labored as you feel his chest rumble against the pads of your delicate fingers. His deep growls fill your ears as you continue to rake your fingers through his hair, tugging at the pastel dyed strands gently. His hand travels further south teasingly, making you mewl against his lips. You feel his teeth scrape down your neck, bruising your skin, marking you like you belonged to him. Your heart did belong to him. Where is the lie? You weren’t sure how he had managed to reach down there so quickly but when you feel his fingers brush over your clothed core, your knees buckle frantically. You wriggle insanely against his fingers. And when he hears you bite back a moan, a smile deviously forms on his lips. Chanyeol always took pleasure in making you squirm like this as though he was content with himself for delivering what he promised to you.

“Fuck."

“Yeol–." You’re a whimpering mess as he sucks a hickey on your neck, soothing it later with a lick and finishing by blowing air against it to cool the burn. He coos against your collarbone, his hot breath streaming over your skin. “That's right baby. You can never stop me."

With that, Chanyeol was cupping your ass and his huge arms were giving you a lift. He picks you off the ground, allowing you to wrap your legs around his waist and once you did, your lips met again and this time it was more desperate. You ruffled your fingers through his hair wildly as he carried you back to his car.

He was strong, so strong, you were pretty much prey right now. So small and so measly, easily trapped in his ravening grasp that the very thought made you shudder. He settled you down on the bonnet and pushed you against the metal, then returned to lock his lips with yours more voraciously. He wasn’t gentle anymore and as much as this side of him scared you, it invoked excitement within you, a kind that drove you ecstatic. “I would have fucked you so hard at noon you know?" He growls, hands reaching for your shirt and untucking them from your jeans, he tugs at them so your bare skin is revealed. The cold air hits your navel, making you shiver with how things were escalating so quickly, “but that douchebag had to show up and cockblock me?"

His expression turns furious as he recalls what happened with Taehyung earlier today. "Y/N..you okay with this?” Chanyeol gapes at you in a needy way. His eyes almost animalistic but he suddenly halts his movements and holds back from touching you. Considering how his hands were all over you a few seconds ago, you were puzzled why he had stopped so suddenly. “I won’t touch you unless you want me to." He frowns and steps away from you.

“Yeol."

You call his name frantically and your hands quickly reach for his hoodie and clasp onto it tightly. You pull him back with all the force you can muster and cupping your fingers around his face, you kiss him, really hard. Chanyeol returns hungrily, deepening it until you’re both practically out of breath.

“I’m yours." You cry against his lips. “Yours alone”.

He doesn’t waste another second and quickly discards his hoodie away, revealing the tight black shirt he was wearing underneath. His biceps flex through the fabric and the sight elicits a quiet whimper from you which makes him grin cockily. “You look so cute when you whimper like this." He smirks helping you unbutton your jeans. “Shut up." You quiet him down with another kiss and peck softly down his jaw before sinking your teeth into his neck which makes him hiss loudly.

“The fuck you marking me for?!” Chanyeol growls, pulling you away from his neck. You just didn't hear him say that. Frustration bubbles up in your chest like a wild fire. “So you can mark me all you want and I can’t mark you?!” You scoff hoarsely, loud enough your cheeks turn red. He watches you with a surprised look on his face and chuckles before holding your face with both his hands gently. “You said you were mine, so technically yes, I can mark you all I want."

“Fuck you Chanyeol!” you spit at him and push him away. Except he was built like a rock and the force elicited from you was too weak to make the tall boy move, not even an inch, further frustrating you even more. “I hate you so fucking much." You grab him by his shirt again looking defeated and worn out. “What did I tell you about love?” he tucks your hair behind your ear and lifts your face up to plant another soft kiss to your lips. “You don’t have to keep bringing it up again and again Yeol." You fold your arms and look at him with your dull eyes. You don’t know what took over you but you suddenly snap at him.

“Just look at us!"

“This?!” jutting harshly you point at his hoodie lying on the grass then point back at your unbuttoned jeans exasperatedly. “This is more fucked up than love." Chanyeol knits his brows at your words. When he tries to hold your face again, you shove him away using all your strength. You prepare yourself for the emotional breakdown bubbling inside of you like a volcano waiting to erupt.

“You’re just worked up."

He puts his hands on both your shoulders and you’re in disbelief at his response. Just worked up? You wanted to laugh. Okay maybe you were ‘emotionally worked up’ but the way he said that? It makes you want to punch him for being so fucking dense. “You’re right." You start buttoning your jeans and plop down the car. You pick his hoodie off the ground and smack it back into his chest, startling him and making his eyes fly wide open. “I am just worked up." You hurriedly walk away from him and back to where the telescope was.

As you struggle to hide the pain in your heart, turning your head up to the sky, you look at the moon again. Silently praying and hoping the universe does one of its miracles on you.

“Wear this, you must be cold." You hear him mumble as he approaches you. Next thing, he’s dumping the hoodie on your head. “I’m not cold!” you whine but he insists with pressure you put it on gently, not allowing you to throw it away either. He eventually forces you wear it and you do with a grumpy face.

To avoid looking at him you crouch to look at Jupiter through the device. As you try to focus you’re completely perplexed by its size. It wasn’t big like they all say. It was tiny. “Are you sure you got the right planet, Park?” You mock him, squeezing an eye to study the planet’s blurry shape. “As far as I know Jupiter is supposed to be huge." You cross your arms trying to act like you knew what was up with planets and astronomy.

“You’re right, he’s huge.” Chanyeol clears his throat crouching next to you, "like me." He squints his eyes grinning like a monkey before ruffling his fingers through your hair and you roll your eyes at his gesture. “Let me adjust it for you." He goes back to working on the equipment and once he’s done you take another peek through the lens and you can finally make of the big swirling red pattern of the planet, finally coming to recognize it.

“This is so cool." You grip onto his knee for support. He takes it as an opportunity to skim his fingers lightly along your arm. “Are you mad at me?” He asks you and you pause at the sudden question, afraid to answer what really troubled you. His fingers trace along your covered skin further making you nervous.

“Y/N?”

“I’m not,” you draw your hand away making him sigh. “Don’t you get it, Chanyeol?” you shrug at him.

“Get what?” he frowns.

“I can't–." You hesitate to let the rest of the words slip out of your lips but you knew it was high time you told him what was bothering you. “I can’t do this anymore."

“Do what?”

“I– I want more."

“I w-want you, Yeol." You knew it was useless telling him that. He would coax you out of it later anyway. Tell you you were getting carried away for the millionth fucking time and that you’d regret it later but you say it anyway. “I need you."

“Please tell me you need me too because if you can’t tell already…I’m failing to keep this up."

“I’m in love with you, Chanyeol and I-..."

That was it. The pain in your throat had now grown tenfold. It was nearly impossible for you to speak anymore. You couldn’t hold the tears back from falling. Your heart was mercilessly pounding in your chest and your lungs felt heavy like they were going to collapse any minute now. The burn was overwhelming and your vision was becoming blurry.

Your voice began to falter as you began spewing your guts out. “You’re the one who keeps asking me to stay and when I do? You’re the one who leaves. You always do and I’m so tired of it. Why can’t we put an end to this? Why can’t you just accept the truth that what we have is more than just a rainy night? It’s not a sweet escape like you say it is, Yeol. It’s more than that and I’m exhausted–."

You choke on your words and Chanyeol immediately cuts you off. “Baby– I’m right here." He was wrapping his arms around you and holding you closely, close enough, all you could hear was the beating of his heart and that alone and your senses were completely clouded. He calms you down, lulling you with his voice, telling you to breathe as you try to collect yourself. He was warm and it felt good to be in his arms again. You nestle yourself more comfortably into his frame and stay still for a few moments before your hands find purchase on his shirt again and you quietly grasp on to the dark fabric.

“I love you too." You hear him mumble incoherently. You wish. You wish for once he actually means it but you know he doesn’t. He says that all the time. That he loves you. That he cares about you. Only to leave you hanging for weeks later. And then he’d come back only to remind you that love doesn’t exist and preach all his vain notions about it to you. Even though your voice seemed broken and forlorn, you mumble back asking him what mattered the most to you.

“How long before you leave again, Chanyeol?”

You draw lazy circles on his tattoos and this time, his groan was heavier. “What do you mean?” he rests his chin softly above your head while his hands find your own that were tracing his, lacing them together he brings them up to his lips so he could kiss them. “Yeol, for fuck’s sake stop acting like you don’t know." You scoff at him. You feel his grip tighten around you, drawing his arms forward, he completely engulfs you in them.

“I’m not leaving." He inhales sharply, burying his nose into your shoulder. “Lies”. You retort immediately. “I’m serious. It’s a promise." He hums back into your ear and you don’t believe a word he says. You peek over your shoulder to look at him properly and he blinks softly at you. “What?” You pout and he puckers his lips before leaning closer. He tries to kiss you again but you simply shove his face away from yours.

“Don’t try to be cute with me, Park”

"Don’t call me that. Call me Yeol." Chanyeol chuckles into your hand and you’re about done with him. “You didn’t answer my question”. You nudge him again and he finally gives in.

“I told you I’m not leaving.” He hugs you more tightly this time and you’re gasping for air. Although you didn’t really mind it because it was cold. “Look I know we keep arguing and I leave without telling you. It’s a mess really but now…I think I have made my decision." He tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear before continuing. “I’m not sure how to make you believe it but it’s a promise baby. I’m not going anywhere."

“Lies again.” You tease him. He smiles and presses his mouth to your shoulder and slowly trails upwards to your jaw, leaving tender kisses in his wake before whispering back to you, “no more lies, baby”.

“So…it’s not a rainy night anymore?” You ask him nonchalantly. “Nope, it’s not,” Chanyeol retorts peppering kisses softly at the back of your neck. “Then what is it called, Park?” You giggle because his nibbles were ticklish and you were losing it. “Hmm well, it’s something better than love, you know? Something sunny. If we can call it that." He quips while his teeth continue marking you.

“And, what if it’s cloudy?”

You question him more seriously this time and he detaches himself away from you for a second. A bright smile takes over his features before he finally captures yours lips with his and after breaking away, he whispers into your ear-

“Babygirl, every cloud has a silver lining."

“Philosophical much? Geez, Yeol." You try to break yourself free from his prison called his arms. But they were so strongly enveloped around you, it was nearly impossible to escape. He was like a stronghold. “I told you. We’re not leaving." He rasps and you’re once again his inmate.

You just wish and hope that this time– he doesn’t fuck things up.

There was something about being all cuddled and cozied up in Chanyeol’s arms like this. Two or three hours had gone by, you couldn’t tell but you liked how he wouldn’t stop peppering your neck with his kisses and whisper sweet nothings into your ear as you tried to focus on the star the telescope was now pointing at.

“So, this is Sirius?” you ask him, your fingers trailing along the cold metal of the device. “Yup, it’s the brightest star in the sky." He answers. His chest was pressed firmly against your back, keeping you warm. “And, it’s also my favorite." He hums proudly.

“You’re such a nerd." You mock him as you recall how he would spend hours in the library looking for books about outer space and get all starry eyed talking about constellations and other fascinating things about the universe, all while sipping his iced americano. He was blushing, hiding his face and popping the straws in a dozen grande placed in front of him. You still have the pictures from that day saved in your camera roll and you make a mental note to get them printed and framed after getting back home later tonight.

“What? I wanted to become an astronaut!” Chanyeol blurts, grinning cheekily. “Yeah, you sure did." You wheeze teasingly back at him. “That was in kindergarten until I grew up.” He mumbles squeezing your shoulders, “but, you know I suck at Math”.

“You’re so silly." You turn around and squish his cheeks together before kissing his pouty lips. “You’re like an elf, Yeol”. You kiss him one more time before drawing yourself away. He gives you a warm smile and the apple of his cheeks glisten under the faint light of the moon. Chanyeol nudges you and you hum back in response.

“You know which one’s my lucky star?”

“Hmm?” you hum again weaving your fingers through his pink messy hair.

“It’s you, baby. You are my lucky one”.

Your heart was doing that thing again, where it explodes like how fireworks do and illuminate the sky, fluttering insanely at what he'd just said. “Shut up Chanyeol." You nuzzle your head into his chest and punch him softly. “I mean it." He murmurs kissing your head. It was too good to be true. Sure he was being a cheesy lil shit but you could say this was going to be one of your singular moments with him, an unparalleled one. Nothing could beat it and if you could make it infinite, you know you would. “Shut up before I start crying again."

“You’re also my favorite crybaby."

“Chanyeol, I swear to god–."

He’d done it again. He always pinned you against anything he could find and this time it was a blur. With Chanyeol being wild like this, it’s always a torturous blur. You both were stumbling your way back into his car and getting rid of all your clothes in a frenzy.

Within seconds, you ended up under him in the backseat. He was on top of you, bare skin brushing against each other and you were both out of breath. Your bodies were shimmering from sweat and the heat between your thighs was growing like a fever. He was eyeing your curves with a burning desire and you knew he was going to raw you into the night. Luckily, you didn’t have to worry about getting caught by anyone. You were in the middle of nowhere and the device was long forgotten. You were Chanyeol's most prized possession now and if he wants to take care of it, you know there’s no way you could stop him. And he did so passionately. His fingers worked against your spot deliciously while his tongue caressed relentlessly around your nub making you quiver and curse as you tugged at his hair.

He quickly hushes you with a kiss and not only could you taste yourself, you could also taste the smirk that had formed so smugly on his lips. He lingers there a little longer making you mewl with his soft nibbles before trailing back down and taking your nipple into his mouth. “Yeol, please." You cry, fluttering your eyes shut because he wouldn’t stop teasing. “This is how I want to take you baby." He rasps as his huge hands grab your mounds, drawing them together, licking and sucking them one after the other like he’d been famished of feeling them from up so closely. “Feels good doesn’t it?” Chanyeol asks you biting his lip and you nod exasperatedly. “Is that a yes?” he asks you again as you feel him teasingly line up at your entrance. “No one to bother us, here baby." He chimes, “not a single fucking soul."

“I don’t want to take his filthy name again. Not when I’m making love to you.” His husky voice was making you want to scream at him for being such a dick right now. “I’ll fuck you so good baby." He growls slipping himself inside you and your whole world turns white as your body squirms under him. “You belong to me.” He groans loudly and all you could feel was Chanyeol burying himself deep inside of you. "To me alone." You were imploring him to move and he did with so much precision, you could say you were seeing stars. He was making you feel so good you were whimpering helplessly. You claw his back as he snuggles his nose into the crook of your neck, sensually snapping his hips into you while alternating his thrusts in a circular rhythm as he fucks you into the backseat of his car. The windows were becoming foggier with each of his thrusts and the space was filled with you moaning each other’s names and relishing in how your bodies were moving together so zealously. “I love you Chanyeol." You sniffle in between moans and he captures your lips sweetly with his before whispering back. “I love you too baby."

“I love you so much fucking more." He groans loudly. Your senses become clouded once again but in a good way. It wasn’t a rainy night or just a sweet escape anymore. You’d been longing for this and had your heart broken multiple times. It felt almost surreal and you were so close to having that forever with Chanyeol and finally for the first time he’d confessed his love to you and it was all magical like it is in all those fucked up fairytales you grew up reading.

Or maybe you were being carried away like he had warned you and told you how illusive it can be. It’s not real and it can never be. Love is but an awful disease and you know that the pain and hurt would come for you sooner or later in life.

And, you were bound to nurture the clouds in your eyes only to have your heart broken later, just like you always did.

'I’m not asking you to stay forever. 'Stay the night’. He begged you. 'Just for tonight’.

'Only for tonight’.

That was what you told him. Love was deluding and Chanyeol had to see that for himself. The next day after you woke up in his arms, you quickly grabbed your stuff and decided to leave. You’d done fucked things up way too many times. Even though he told you he loved you, you had to go. You weren’t healthy for each other and before it ripped your two lost shattered hearts all over again, you had to take responsibility and not let things fall apart, at least not this time. It was hard to look at him curled up in bed snoring softly. You hated the fact that you had to leave him like this and he’d wake up to find the bed cold next to him and that you were gone.

You left a small note on his guitar in the studio and took in the image of the empty cups of his iced americano scattered all over his desk as you sighed with a heavy heart and threw his hoodie back on. You turned one last time to look at his studio, remembering the deranged amount of time you spent in here with him exploring each other in ways you’ll never forget.

You bite your lip really hard to stop the tears from welling in your eyes but you knew this was for the best. Maybe it was selfish of you to do this but somewhere down the line you felt like maybe Chanyeol will know why and even if he doesn’t, he will learn the same way you did when he left you hanging for weeks.

Your rainy nights of sweet escape with him had finally come to an end. You could hear thunder boom outside as you quietly shut the door to Chanyeol’s apartment and started walking away without turning back. Even if it all seems so painful, you believe you can endure it and that he can too. The world is all fucked up and so is love and it’s always going to be that way.

Chanyeol perhaps already knew this was going to happen sooner or later and it was finally time for you to part.

And this time, it was for real.

[ 02:24 pm ] Tuesday

The flavor of cherry was strong on your tongue as you stood by the curb and sipped the drink. You were thirsty, hungry and worried out of your mind. You stopped by 7-Eleven, the one near your campus with Kyungsoo because he wouldn’t stop talking about the girl who worked there. You were tired and it had been two days since your night with Chanyeol and you hadn’t seen him since.

When you took your phone out, you could see about 67 missed calls from him and he was calling again. To be honest, you weren’t really prepared to answer him or talk to him. You didn’t have the courage in you anymore nor the will to explain yourself or the reason why you’d left him like that. Of course he deserved to know better but you just couldn’t help yourself from fearing facing his anger. It was the last thing you wanted. But he’d done the same thing with you innumerable times and he should have probably figured it out by now.

“Why don’t you just answer him?” Kyungsoo asks you furrowing his brows. “I wish it was that simple." You sigh biting your lip. “You look oddly fine for someone who cried about the same dude not answering your calls or your texts a month ago,” your best friend mumbles mindlessly, “and now when he’s actually paying attention to you? You don’t even care. It’s so weird."

If only Kyungsoo knew your heart was actually being shredded into a million pieces because of what you were doing. Maybe you were numb or maybe somewhere in the back of your mind you were hoping this will help you fix things for once. It was probably the latter and you were hoping to set yourself free from these ties that were confining you in their nefarious grasps. “You won’t understand Soo, leave it." You shrug and go back to sipping your drink when suddenly you feel someone touch your shoulder from behind.

“Y/N?”

Your heart jitters when you hear his voice. You turn around to face Taehyung who was smiling at you. He was in his sports gear, a basketball around his arm and he had an unnatural glow to him. “Tae, hey-," you stutter, “what are you doing here?”

He pouts at your question and ruffles his hair. “Was passing by, thought I'd come say hi…" He gives you another beaming smile and you’re not really in the mood to be talking to him or anyone for that matter but you just return the smile because you didn’t want to be rude. Not right now with everything hovering over you like a dark cloud ready to burst and destroy you. “Haven’t seen you since that day at Chanyeol’s." He huffs, pursing his lips.

You could feel your phone buzz in your pocket again and you couldn’t fret over the universe enough for its bizarre timing. For festering you by throwing bricks in your face like this. “I’m sorry about that day,” you murmur lowly. You can feel a tight knot building in your stomach and you were starting to feel like you were gonna fall sick. “It’s all cool, babe. Don't worry about it." Taehyung pats your head and you have an extremely uneasy feeling taking over you.

And that’s when you see him approaching you from a distance. You feel your heart sink when you realize his face was swollen like he’d been drinking. His eyes were so red it felt like they were going to bulge out of his skull any minute now.

“Where the fuck were you?!”

Chanyeol was screaming and storming in on you. He was literally shouting from the top of his lungs. “And why weren’t you answering my fucking calls!” His voice was so hoarse and so threatening you were in absolute shock as you watched him charge towards you. His face was fuming with rage and you’ve never felt this scared of him ever in all your times you spent with him. “I called you more than fifty fucking times Y/N!” he searched for something in his pocket before pulling the note out. The one you’d left for him on the guitar and the next thing you know he was crumpling it and throwing it in your face.

“And the fuck is this supposed to mean?”

Chanyeol flares his nostrils and you can feel your eyes welling with tears and the gnawing pain in your chest growing horribly. You don’t say a word. You watch him pull at his hair furiously and you wanted to hold him so badly but you couldn’t move. Your body felt like it was completely paralyzed.

“Answer me you fucking whore!”

His words were like venom. He was cussing at you and you couldn’t believe what he just said or the scene that was playing before you. Taehyung had caught Chanyeol by the collar and you could hear him cursing back at Chanyeol for going too far. Before you could stop the two of them Chanyeol had already landed a punch to Taehyung’s face. They wouldn’t stop hustling each other and you see Kyungsoo struggling to pull them apart and stop them. You were fazed and out of breath and you just couldn’t take it anymore.

“Yeol stop!” you beg him.

“Please fucking stop!” your voice was awfully caught in your throat as you tried to touch him amidst all the chaos that was happening. And you were trying your best to hold back from crying but you just couldn’t. The tears wouldn’t stop and Chanyeol knits his brows tightly when he hears you whimper. The sight was awful, he'd endured a cut on his lip from Taehyung's harsh blow and he was bleeding. It was so painful to watch him like this. Even more than watching him sleep so calmly in his bed when you left him that morning.

“I’m sorry,” you can hear yourself choking and sobbing through your words, “I’m so fucking sorry. I didn’t think this through”. You hide your face in your hands, the moisture from your tears collecting in them. Your heart was hammering against your chest and you felt like you were going to faint and that’s when you finally hear him speak the vile things you wish you never heard him say.

“Sorry for what exactly?” Chanyeol scoffs as a vicious grin takes over his features, “that you said you loved me when I fucked you in my car?”

“Or the truth that I am nothing but just a fucking rebound to you?”

He chuckles darkly, “you’re so fucking vague…just why don’t you get your fucking shit together."

“Yeol, please…I do love you,” you gasp in between your words. He broke your heart many times but the way he was behaving right now. This was worse. He was mad and you get that. He’s probably as upset as you were but it was so wrong. All of this was so wrong.

“No baby, you don’t love me." Chanyeol clicks his tongue as he mercilessly fixes his gaze on you. "You never loved me, Y/N." He was now glaring at you.

“You can never love me."

“That’s not true. I’ve loved you more than I’ve ever loved anyone Chanyeol." Your knees give out and you find yourself collapsing to the ground, “please don’t say that”. You beg him. “I only wanted you to see what it felt like to be in my shoes”.

“Your shoes?” Chanyeol looked like he was least bothered. He only continues to hurt you further with his unforgiving insinuations. “So you wanted me to be the bad guy, huh?”. He takes a step back before spitting his final words with a crooked smile, “then fine..."

“Watch me be the bad guy."

The clouds began to gather over your head again. You dreaded losing him so much that not once did you imagine that it was going to hit you this soon. Like you’d been in a tunnel and the light at the end was not the way out but a train wrecking its way to run you over and crush your tiny little heart into a mush and make it bleed as it slowly puts you to your death. When you lift your head up to see back to where he was standing hoping that maybe you can talk him out of this, you only find that Chanyeol had already left and this time–

He might never return.

A/N - Holy crap you guys, part two is here and I can’t believe I managed to get it out early enough because honestly, I was losing it like y/n istg. I want to thank my bbys @suhoerections @baekwell–tart and @chogi-wae for giving me their lovely support and helping me stay motivated so I could pump this clouded angsty mess for y’all! It wasn’t easy and I’m sorry if it was heart wrenching to read. Thank you for taking your time out to read Clouded, I hope you enjoyed it! Part three is gonna be cloudier and messier lol ♡

also, Chanyeol’s POV after he leaves. (very angsty lol)

☾ Clouded Masterlist ✧

Taglist ♡ @i-dont-wanna-kokostop @loeyprivvv @littleflowercrown13 @wifechungha @rashidamesrur @mindofthescattered @zessafg @alwayslietohidethetruth @brazilianbasicbitch @kpopfess ✧

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ohnohetaliasues · 5 years ago

Text

Stones to Abbigale {Ch. 1}

(Kat)

This is going to be the worst thing I’ve ever read, isn’t it?

Am I going to actively want to die? Yes, most likely. But apparently, because I run a blog like this, I can endure suffering.

Flashbacks to Blood Raining Night.

Here we go. We will start with the introduction, written by the onion lord himself.

I want to be direct, my name is Greg. I go by “Onision” online.

Okay, I dunno what it is, but something feels off about this sentence.

This book is made up of events that occurred in my own life mixed with fiction from the made up life of James. James is essentially a better version of myself.

I can’t imagine how good that could be, seeing as the man who wrote this is a child predator and is just an overall piece of hot garbage.

His home, his school & his life all resemble my own at his age.

Don’t ever use a fucking ampersand instead of the word ‘and.’ It’s just bad grammar.

The people James analyzes and is surrounded by are not so unlike those I’ve known as well.

Analyzes?

Why?

I have experienced much of the loss James has however his happier moments are more often than not also mine.

Then write a memoir. Not this.

I want to share my story without it being purely non-fiction.

I mean, some people do this with books about their lives, but this feels... Odd?

I simply felt this approach would make for a far better book. At points I cried while writing this, at others I laughed.

Congratulations.

I don’t care.

Stones To Abbigale is not just a book I wrote, it is a piece of who I am.

That’s a given for all writers, but I still don’t care.

I’m going to rip this book to shreds.

Okay here we go.

I was asleep until I met her, but when I woke, I learned the meaning of "perfect imperfection."

Is this Onion boy trying to be poetic?

It actually made me want to die.

I've always been the type of person to focus on stars as we spin beneath them, the cool breeze on a sunny day, scattered patches of grass under my feet, the world around me, often forgetting to even glance at the one within.

‘The one within.’

Okay so the way this is written makes those three things seem disconnected. I often do stuff like this when I write, but I’d write it like ‘as we spin beneath them, focus on the breeze on a sunny day, on the scattered patches of grass, etc.’

You couldn’t pay me all the money in the world to rewrite that garbage sentence. This is all very waxing poetic and not in a good well structured way.

I had remained emotionally unexplored for so much of my life.

That must’ve been boring, not experiencing human emotions like the rest of us.

You sociopath, you.

It's painful knowing some can go an entire lifetime without understanding their own heart, an internal lock waiting for the right key to change everything.

Yeah, whatever, shut the hell up, you whiny idiot.

This is like an introduction by a teenager who just opened a poetry book and was like ‘yup. I wanna write like that.’

Except you aren’t William Blake or Walt Whitman and you never will be.

Sorry, Onion boy.

Except I’m not.

Die mad about it, grease ball.

It was the first Monday of November. I opened my eyes, blinded by my recently painted wall-to-wall white room. Even my bed frame, constructed of purely metal, was painted white.

Okay, cool. I’m a descriptive writer and I take every chance I can get to mention details, but even I find this description awkward. It feels irrelevant in this situation.

It bounced off the walls causing my eyelids to desperately clamp together. Painting my room like this was a clear act of subtle self-inflicted psychological torture.

Then why in the sweet hell did you do it? Do you enjoy suffering?

Actually, he probably does.

Because this is edgy as hell.

I was going through another phase, from darkness to light, and repeat. Seemed like the story of my life.

This is so edgy I am in physical pain.

You know your symbolism is good when it’s so random that you have to point it out and explain it to your audience.

My mom could see the darker colors were depressing me, I felt comforted by them, but found there were good aspects of both extremes. I was happy to visit either side, they are both so simple. But right now the intense light bouncing from wall to wall felt like it was ripping my mind in two.

Am I an idiot or is that just... word salad?

My mom didn't wake me. My alarm clock sat on my dresser with no explanation for it's failure to function. The clock only illuminated a blank stare with 8:17 written all over it's face. While entirely robotic, I imagined the clock to have the dumbest possible expression, one complementing its failure to behave any way outside its random glitch-infested nature.

That was the worst way to write a personification ever, but okay.

In the reflection of it's plastic face I could see myself unconsciously making the dumb expression I was imaging the clock to have. I laughed in my casual dorky tone and began to get ready to leave home.

I’m not laughing, idiot.

Without breakfast, I left for school with a bogus note in hand to idealistically explain my tardiness.

You... You wrote a fake note?

Do you realize you could get in trouble for that?

You’re an idiot.

I think most of my teachers were too exhausted to worry about small variances in our appearance from time to time. With how low their pay likely was, I imagined there were very few rules most teachers cared about.

That isn’t true at all. Teachers have to pay attention to rules unless they want to get, I dunno, fired.

It was another cold day in Lakewood. The wind hit my eyes forcing tears to form in the corners as I sped along the sidewalk at a no-doubt unreasonable speed.

I cannot imagine any good imagery for this scene. I’m just imagining this gif:

I passed Lauren and Raymon walking the opposite direction, no doubt headed toward the nearby church where all the students go to smoke, make out and hide out till school ends.

Um okay. Does this guy know that if characters don’t have relivance to the story, if they have no reason to be named, than they don’t have to be?

No.

Because he’s a 34 year old man baby.

They seemed so childish as they held hands and smiled excitedly as if they had gotten away with some tremendous crime.

That sentence seems so robotic I genuinely can’t.

Mr. Hanson, my heavy-set, middle-aged history teacher, rolled his eyes as I walked into class. "James, talk to me after class" he said quickly, looking away from me as if I were an undervalued employee who was barely important enough to make eye contact with let alone deliver a full sentence to.

It bothers me so deeply that a new paragraph wasn’t started when this character talked.

"I have a note," I said. He ignored me, and continued his lecture on yet another topic that would not only be completely useless later in life, but wasn't even relevant for even a few seconds after the words left his mouth.

Why is this teacher acting like a petty teenager?

I’m deeply annoyed by this.

And yeah, it’s relevant. You have tests, you idiot. Take notes. And it’s also history, which is, again, relevant.

In conclusion, shut your mouth and stop bitching.

There was only 15 minutes left in the class, but I felt it would be more stimulating to integrate myself into the room to yet again study my classmates' behavior than to sit in a hall watching the rows of scum covered tiles inevitably slide off the decaying walls.

That’s a health code violation, friends.

Or Onion is an awful writer and he thinks describing a school like this is a good idea. My money is on that.

For as long as I remember I've enjoyed seeing how people move around and talk to each other, like they're all animals at the zoo.

Something is wrong with you, friend. Liking to people watch is one thing, but doing shit like this is something else entirely.

Uh, try sociopath-like?

Creepy as hell?

We’ll go with both.

I would try to deliver a more accurate analogy if I felt there was one

Bitch, there is. I can’t name one off the top of my head because reading this makes me feel like my brain is melting out of my ears, but I’m 100% sure there is a better analogy. Even though this feels more like a simile.

but so many of them seemed incredibly unaware of themselves, just living life as if it were some generic predefined routine.

Oh, and you’re so much better obviously, you pretentious bastard.

Sometimes I felt like an alien who had a VIP pass to submerge myself in primitive human culture just for entertainment.

Congratulations, that’s also what you sound like.

I sense everything I can take in around me. The seemingly limitless audible tones, tremors in the voices of growing children rang in my ears. In studying people, I found myself gradually learning to literally feel the various personality types I encountered.

Do you... Do you have psychic powers?

If not, shut your damn mouth.

I hyper analyzed every inconsistent smell, the seemingly random clothing styles, freckles, and assorted hairstyles filled my mind with questions. Trying to rationalize and understand what sequence of events led them to decide who they would become.

You are the most pretentious protagonist I have ever read. I’m half a chapter in and I already fucking hate you.

This character is so poorly written and immediately unlikable. i cannot relate to him at all and if someone does, I suggest you go get some help because how this asshole is behaving doesn’t sound human.

I took favor of categorizing most everyone around me. The socially inept know-it-all, the dumb attention-seeking drama kid

On behalf of all drama kids, go fuck yourself.

and the bleach blonde bimbo who gets overly defensive at the slightest hint of criticism.

Do you mean you?

Onion obviously didn’t let anyone edit this garbage.

Then there were the kids who just hoped no one noticed them at all. There was so much to be seen, to be considered and organized in my mind.

Mhm.

I don’t care.

Class had just ended so I walked over to Mr. Hanson's' desk &

And*

placed the tardy note down in passing. As I walked out with the rest of my class, he called after me. "James! We still need to talk!" I responded but continued to walk outside the room. "I have to be early to my next class! Let's talk tomorrow!"

You’re an asshole.

And I hate you.

I walked quickly down the hall towards my art class, which was awkwardly placed in a trailer outside my clearly poorly funded high school.

Um.

Okay.

On my way to the class a fight had already broken out between two jocks who, no doubt, both had controlling, iron-fisted fathers who brainwashed them into believing conflicts between men are best resolved with the bloodying of their fists.

That’s a bold thing to assume, dear Onion.

These kinds of men plagued my mind with wonder. I could not conceive a scenario in which they could justify their primitive & pointless mentalities yet they would always continue to perpetuate their self-destructive attitudes as if it offered the slightest legitimate benefit.

Oh, shut your pretentious mouth.

Most everyone nearby crowded around the fight. None of them likely cared who was winning, what it was about or how far it went. All they ever seemed to show concern for was their own amusement, always excited to see violence without having to pull out their wallets to pay for it.

Are you joking?

Where are the teachers?

This is complete bullshit.

This is high school, not a fucking fight club.

Does Onion even try to make this believable? Or is he just vomiting all over his keyboard and just accepting whatever nonsense that makes?

As the sounds of flesh collided fist to cheek & chest quickly followed the howls from the surrounding students. They would scream "Oooohhhh!" as if it were sincerely delightful to witness creatures like themselves suffer & fall apart before their eyes.

The use of ampersands is making me lose my goddamn mind.

Even if I had time to stop, I never really took pleasure in seeing strangers hurt each other. Most all fights seemed avoidable and were often initiated for a senseless reason.

Go choke on air. This protagonist annoys me more than any protagonist has. I’m not joking. Fuck this dickwad.

I know, you could say it's more complicated than that, I would like to think it were as well, but reality trumps the way I wish things would be. There's no sense in fighting it when doing so rarely helps anyone.

While this is true, this is worded in a way that’s so pretentious it’s painful and also in a way that paints this protagonist in such a white knight-y way that it makes me want to die.

As I approached my next class the image of Abbi's face illuminated the neon walls of my mind like a projector teasing a theatre screen with fleeting moments of depth & purpose.

That is complete and utter word salad. Stop immediately.

Ever since I met her, she had occupied a part of my consciousness; whenever I wasn't near her I missed her to an unrealistic extent. You could call my longing sad especially considering we had barely talked; she just had a strange effect on me, one no doubt similar to a willful addiction.

That’s called a crush, but the way that was just described is so creepy.

There are people in life which we pass by on a daily basis, barely aware of their existence, but on an exceptionally rare occasion you can find a person who fills an area inside your little world you didn't even realize needed filling.

While that’s technically not untrue, it feels like a lizard person is trying to tell me what having a crush on someone is like.

As I walked up the creaking stairs into my art class trailer I could see Abbi was sitting at her shared-desk, alone, same makeup, hairstyle & general appearance I had thought about repeatedly over the last couple days. She was drawing pictures on her blue-lined paper, distracting herself from the cold that filled the oddly glowing room.

This... This imagery is so fucking weird.

I smiled slightly trying not to be too obvious and sat down on my chilled metal chair positioned a few seats to the left in front of her. Glancing over, I could see she hadn't moved at all, I felt like she didn't even notice me come in.

You aren’t the center of her world, so yeah, she’s focused on something else. That’s just how it is, asshat.

I wanted to inspire some acknowledgment of my existence from Abbi so I opened my mouth to greet her when my fingers brushed up against freshly smeared gum under my desk. "Eeew!" I shouted out on impulse. She looked up at me with a blank expression.

I’ve accidentally touched gum on the bottom of my desk before, as I can imagine everyone has, but I’ve never shouted about it like a lunatic.

Bursting into the room came a group of boys. "Dude I think John's done bro!" one of the other boys laughed, saying "Won't see them for a week at least."

Nobody talks like this. Have you ever spoke to another human?

I looked back at Abbi to see she also didn't react to their outburst. Strangely knowing that her apathy was generalized and impersonal gave me comfort.

There needs to be a comma after ‘strangely,’ but whatever.

Her influence on how I felt was obviously dangerous but I didn't care as no matter how fond I was of the idea that I was not of the world, I knew my place and had no real interest in pretending otherwise.

Explain to me how in the hell that’s dangerous.

Jason, one of the boys energetically praising the fight they had just seen, sat in his seat next to Abbi. I smirked watching her shoulders shift away from him. Her body language sent a loud message that she had the same impression of Jason as I did. He was just another moron, placed on this Earth to live his life completely unexamined,

That word is not used properly in that sentence.

a pawn that had no awareness of its own role let alone that it was just another tiny component within a massive unstoppably twisted game.

Shut your pretentious mouth because that doesn’t make any goddamn fucking sense.

I know it sounds morbid and condescending but my attitude was just something that naturally developed the more I studied human behavior.

Bullshit.

I would be more optimistic but I find doing so would be like walking into a room with no windows and turning out the light. If you refuse to see the world around you for what it is you're just wasting your eyes.

Being optimistic means looking on the good side of things. You’ve heard the glass half empty or half full thing. it’s that. And as someone who jumps between optimism and pessimism, being optimistic isn’t like this at all.

Don’t try to be poetic or funny, Onion. Those are two things that you aren’t.

Art class was about to begin. My teacher, Mrs. Stanley, who looked like she should have retired a ridiculous thirty years ago, approached the front of the room talking about how art is sacred. She also discussed the random object she had us all draw the previous school day and ironically graded it by using her own narrow-minded definition of art.

That isn’t ironic.

I always wondered how teachers could even attempt objectively grading art. Is there any logic behind validating a form of self-expression using a cold black and white mathematical system?

It’s a class where you have to follow the curricula. Shut your damn mouth.

And this is coming from someone who hated her art teacher. But this art teacher was so utterly closed minded that she didn’t accept anyone else’s creative process. She basically told us that if we didn’t follow her process, we weren’t real artists.

"Today I'm going to place you with partners" Mrs. Stanley said as she pulled out sheets of paper outlining our activities to come. "To keep this simple, I'm going to partner you with the person you are currently assigned to share a desk with" she said. I sighed knowing I was bound to be paired up with Alex, a guy I had specifically asked to be seated away from ever since he peed in a jar literally right next to me under our desk, acting like he was so cool for publicly exposing himself while simultaneously urinating.

That... He expected to be treated like he was cool for this?

That’s fucking disgusting.

It happened weeks ago and I still can't figure out what kind of crazy it takes for you to, in the presence of people you barely know but have to see nearly on a daily basis, pee in a jar held in your hand just beneath your desk in the middle of a classroom.

At first when I read this, I thought that the wayit was worded made it sound like Alex forced James to hold the jar while he peed in it, but okay, whatever.

What then? You show it off like you will be praised and accepted as if it were an accomplishment? Alex, despite being borderline mental, was one of my least favorite people to study.

It is actually physically exhausting to read this shit. James is a pretentious asshole.

I couldn't help but feel there was some defect in his mind that invalidated the point of conducting a thorough analysis of him.

This just makes it seem like James has mind reading powers.

He was completely irrelevant when considering the realities of normal human behavior.

Behavior you don’t act according to, you lizard person sociopath.

As I was off on a tangent in my own mind I heard a familiar voice ring out, one that inspired the very same emotion you experience when a song you had forgotten you loved, randomly plays in the background of your daily life. "Can I be paired up with James?" her voice was just as I remembered.

Is this Abbi?

I have a friend who spells her name like this, so I really hate that there’s a character in this shitty book who shares a name with her.

Despite her having not spoken in class in some time, she hadn't changed a note. Abbi had interrupted the teacher just to partner with me, but I asked myself if was it really just to work with me or just to get away from Jason.

Um. Okay.

The teacher, looking irritated but understanding Abbi's discomfort with Jason responded "Alex and Jason, you'll be partners. James, switch seats with Jason" "Thank you!" Abbi said with a slight smile. With a cocky grin Jason stood up and in a comedic fashion smelled his armpit. "Wow, I didn't know I smelled that bad" Jason said as he walked over to sit by Alex.

That isn’t funny and Onion boy isn’t funny.

Approaching Abbi was no doubt a way scarier act in my mind than it was to everyone around me, I felt like my head was burning from the inside out.

That’s a little extreme.

Nevertheless I continued to remind myself that her public outcry to partner with me could have meant nothing. I sat down next to her and did all I could not to turn into a complete dork on her. She reached out and grabbed the project outline that was being passed out. Mrs. Stanley began to read the description of the assignment. "Today you will both be taking something meaningful, but expendable, from your own homes."

If something is meaningful it isn’t expendable. Stop.

Mrs. Stanley looked up and emphasized, "That you own!" then looked back down at her paper. "You will tear those items apart here in class. You will then take those items and, using the adhesives, staples and the strings available in class, find a way to create something new out of those possessions."

That’s actually kind of an interesting idea. But like. Maybe with a cup? I don’t wanna rip apart something I care about.

She looked up and said in a low voice sounding somewhat like Dracula "Two, will become one."

That is unnecessarily creepy. It reads like an innuendo.

Also, what in fresh hell does Dracula’s voice sound like?

Did she say it with a Transylvanian accent? I’m confused.

Jason raised his hand objecting, "All due respect Mrs. Stanley I'm not breaking something of mine for this class."

Jason has the right idea.

She replied putting her hands on her hips, "That's fine Jason. We'll supply you with a toilet paper rolls, we have plenty of extras around here." Jason suddenly looked disturbed and sarcastically spouted "Freaking great!"

Why???

That’s better than ripping apart a t-shirt.

Mrs. Stanley asked, "Are you sure? Your grade shouldn't suffer that much if you two just take Alex's piss jar and tape it to a toilet paper roll. You're already failing this class."

What in the literal fuck?!

You cannot say that to students. No, you can’t say that to anyone.

Jason couldn't believe what she had just said

Same.

and Alex maintained an awkward frozen facial expression with his mouth slightly open in his normal weirdo somewhat robotic fashion.

"Oh my god" Abbi whispered under her breath with a slight smirk. I grinned uncontrollably; just seeing her amused was amazing to me.

That wasn’t really funny, it was just shocking.

I could hear a scream in the back of my mind reminding me my dorkiness and borderline obsession was escaping through my face.

It's not that I couldn't help being in awe of Abbi and basically every little thing she did, I simply didn't want to change how I felt. In a way, she was like your favorite song or book, you could pretend not to like it and in time with the right mental coaching maybe you would sincerely dislike it, but life just felt so much better embracing your condition entirely, letting all your nerdy admiration flow freely.

This just reads like an obsession. I don’t have the energy to actually express how romantic feelings actually feel, but this is terrifying.

Mrs. Stanley continued, "If there's anyone else who has an issue, please take it up with my 1800 number which is?" She put her hand up to the air signaling the students to react but only a couple kids replied aloud with her catch phrase. "1-800-BOO-HOOO" they mumbled.

Sweet Jesus.

So this is what it feels like to lose my mind.

She continued, "Good, now for the rest of class please work with your partner on what you plan to bring and draw up a prototype sketch of what you feel your final piece of art will look like." Mrs. Stanley walked to the back of her room and sat down at her 1950's looking rust-infested desk.

Is this school just a giant health code violation? And what the hell do you mean by ‘1950′s desk?’ All I got when I googled that were pictures of wooden desks.

I would always laugh internally when I looked at the old thing. Maybe it was my way of coping with the fact I attended one of the most run down schools in the state.

I have nothing that isn’t full of curse words and fact checking to say here.

"What are you going to bring James?" Abbi asked.

This sentence is put so Abbi looks like she’s asking if James is going to bring himself without the comma after the word ‘bring.’ Did Onion really not edit his book at all? These are simple and fixable grammatical mistakes.

It was amazing hearing my name pass her lips but I had no time to think, if I didn't respond right away she would think I was totally awkward. "I... have no idea..." I responded. Smiling she said, "I'm going to bring my hamster cage", I asked, "Did he die or something?" she laughed, "No, I never got one, the cage was just a gift from my dad."

But you’re supposed to cut it up.

Hamster cages are made of metal.

Does Abbi just have superhuman strength? Is she going to bring a pair of bolt cutters?

"Your dad didn't get you a hamster... for the cage?" I asked.

My question exactly.

Sometimes you just...

You just gotta give your daughter a hamster cage but no hamster.

She paused and started to lose her smile.

Oh fabulous, she’s one of those characters.

At the first sign of her smile fading I felt a crushing pressure in my chest. "Hopefully you can find something that will work with that," she said. I couldn't help but feel like a total jerk despite not even knowing what I did wrong.

That interaction was so... Weird? Robotic? i don’t know. Something felt wrong about it.

I had the overwhelming urge to fix how she felt so I took a gamble, "Well, I could always bring that weird vibrating thing my mom hides in her drawers all wrapped up in a cloth" I said.

What is wrong with you?

I cannot fathom what made Onion think this joke was funny.

She busted out laughing hysterically as a huge grinned filled my face. I was so happy I could get her to smile again. "Eeew! James!" she continued to laugh as the extent of my grin began to stress my cheeks. I couldn't remember a time when I was this obvious about how I felt.

This... Something is wrong with just... all the dialogue.

And with the formatting. You make a new paragraph when someone starts talking. A 34 year old man should know this. He writes like me when I first started writing, and while this probably means he just started writing, I was 11 years old when I wrote like this.

He is a 34 year old adult. There is no excuse for how bad this formatting and how generally terribly written these interactions are.

Abbi's laughing trailed off and she paused. Turning to me she said, "You... you didn't actu- ally... your moms?"

*Pained groaning.*

I responded, "No, I wouldn't know about that, but I'm glad it made you laugh." She responded, returning to a soft laugh "You're more goofy than I thought James." I sat next to her looking at my fingers interlaced in front of me; my wide smile relaxed but still filled my cheeks with warmth.

This entire chapter, everything here, is so awkwardly written.

As class came to a close Abbi patted me on my arm. I turned and she handed me a note. Instinctively I put it in my pocket and said "See ya tomorrow", she just smiled and walked away.

????

On my way to my next class, I opened the note. I didn't understand why, but it read "NISEONE."

Not knowing what to make of it and with little time, I stuffed it back in my pocket to look over later.

Yeah, that’s cryptic as hell.

Not feeling like skating home,

Oh, we’re really getting into edgy 2000′s shit now.

I got on the bus to see all the normal rejects and misfits waiting. Davis, a short and scrawny kid who had been my best friend since middle school despite being one grade behind me excitedly waved me over.

Oh, good, more terrible characters.

"James! Nice to seeeee you!"

Oh, this bitch needs to die.

he said in seemingly the dorkiest way possible. I smiled as he stood up giving me the window seat, knowing very well by then that I preferred it.

Um. Okay.

As I sat down I began looking out the window, analyzing the little humans running left and right to get on their busses.

Buses*

And I am going to eventually kick your ass for this pretentious bullshit.

Something reached out and caught the corner of my eye. I immediately shifted my head to see what it was and quickly realized it was Abbi standing in the parking lot by some beat-up sedan.

"What'cha looking at James?" Davis asked. Without hesitation I began to respond, "Oh, it's Abbi, she's in my art..." my heart sank as I witnessed a boy I barely knew, named Seth, walk up and kiss Abbi on the lips.

Oh, boo fucking hoo. Get over the fact that she has a life outside of your crush on her.

"James?" Davis said, but by that point his voice was a faint echo in the darkness my mind instantaneously lost itself in. I felt like after a life of numbness I was finally about to truly feel warmth for the first time only to have it all taken away in an instant, leaving me hopeless in the shadows, alone once again.

Cry me a goddamn river.

You angsty pretentious idiot.

Don’t give me angsty word salad about how sad this makes you, I don’t actually care at all.

I looked down at my knees feeling as if I lost all muscle control in my neck.

That isn’t a thing that happens ever when someone is upset.

"Are... you ok?" Davis asked. I responded with hesitation "...I'm... just stupid."

You spoke to her once, you fucking dumbass.

"No you're not. You're one of the coolest guys I know!" Davis replied. I continued my silence as he offered words of encouragement. "Okie dokie, well, you're awesome and should be super happy so if you want to talk, I'm your buddy so... so I'm here to talk."

That’s uh, nice of him.

But the way he’s talking sounds like... almost mechanical? All he’s done since he was introduced has been compliment James.

I was too focused on the con- flict raging in my mind to hear anyone at that point. I couldn't think about anything but Seth kissing Abbi the entire trip home.

Oh, get the fuck over it.

That night my mom was literally just serving lentil beans she prepared on her crock-pot for the billionth time, a fair exaggeration but still, it was excessive to say the least. My sister was behaving as she usually did at the dinner table, talking about how stupid she thought school was and how she couldn't wait for college. "How was work mom?"

I mean, I’m also tired of high school. I’m really done with judge-y teenagers.

I asked trying to keep my mind off the haunting images looping in my mind.

YOU HAVE HAD ONE FUCKING CONVERSATION WITH HER. CRY ME A FUCKING RIVER, YOU BITCH.

Any normal person would express disappointment over the fact that a person they like has a boyfriend or girlfriend or partner in general, not go into a damn depression about it.

"Well, no one at work respects me or listens to me and I generally can't stand it, but you know, we still have food on the table" she said in a stern tone.

That

That is weirdly passive aggressive and mechanical.

My sister barked as food flew out of her mouth, "Well at least it's not high school. I'm learning how to be a successful person from a bunch of low-income losers."

Oh, I guess bitching runs in the family.

My mom replied "Whatever your teachers are, they have full-time jobs, which is more than a lot of people can say." My mom gave my sister Lisa a disap- pointed look. Lisa was well known for showing little respect for hard-working people. To her it didn't matter how much you gave back to society, it only mattered how much money you made.

That’s a very black and white way to look at things.

After the rerun of lentil soup I washed the dishes per my mom's orders and headed to the shower. I sat on the floor of the tub thinking about Abbi, barely feeling the water as it hit my chest.

Sat on the floor... while water hits your chest? Are you like sitting with your back arched so the water can hit your chest?

This imagery is so odd.

I was so consumed with what I had seen that I had completely forgotten the note until that moment. I quickly reached over to my pants resting on the toilette.

Why the fuck did you spell toilet like that?

That’s literally the word for ‘toilet’ but in French. It isn’t a spelling used in English. It just makes you sound even more pretentious.

Also, he reached over to the toilet to grab the note from his pants while he’s in the shower?

It’s gonna get wet, you idiot.

I had hoped I read it wrong the first time and that it would make sense with a second look only to see it read exactly what I gathered in my initial passing glance. "NISEONE"

I fucking hate you, Onion.

This literally looks like you scrambled your screen name up.

Die.

In a fire.

I mumbled to myself. I joked with the idea in my head that she handed me the wrong note but still assumed it wasn't a failed attempt to say "Nice one," which could be taken as a compliment if you were desperate enough.

That joke, while just a little funnier, is still fucking lame.

Seconds into looking at the note my eyes widened, having figured out what it meant, I jumped up slipping to my feet and screamed "YEAH!!!" I had cracked it, only to immediately after feel completely stupid for not having figured it out sooner.

I’m just done functioning.

My mom screamed through the door from her bedroom "WHAT?" I responded "Sorry! Nothing!" I hurried to finish showering.

I’d just assume he got really into jerking off.

I’ll see myself out.

Staring at my phone wearing only a towel, I smiled as I typed in "NISEONE" or "647-3663" into the number keys.

That is the most cryptic and strange way to give someone your phone number.

I assumed we shared the same area code otherwise she likely would have given me a longer sequence of letters and I was right. After two rings I got an answer. "What do you want?" a disgruntled man's voice asked.

This... This girl gave this guy a home phone number?

I guess that’s fine since this is probably set in the early 2000′s, but it’s still odd.

Like a bad engine struggling to start in a monster movie I clumsily belted out a response "I... uh... I was looking for..." An unenthusiastic female voice in the background said, "Give me the phone." "Whatever" he said dropping phone in front of her.

James can apparently see through the phone, or he wouldn’t know that probably Abbi’s dad did this.

"Hello?" I could recognize the voice now it was Abbi.

Trying to hide my excitement by maintaining a normal tone I said, "This is James." Abbi excitedly screamed

Like how girls screamed in Disney Channel shows?

That’s ridiculous.

and responded "Oh my god you figured it out!" Hearing her optimistic tone I laughed saying, "So... why..." She interrupted. "I was hoping to find out if you figured out what you're bringing to art class."

Why the hell didn’t you just fucking ask? Or give him your regular phone number? This is just unnecessarily complicated.

I said "Oh!" and looked quickly around my room. I couldn't see anything immediately so I just said, "I'll... surprise you!" She then replied "Oh come on, tell me." My eyes locked on to a plausible item for the project. "How about my... bear... I'll bring my bear!"

You’re okay with destroying a teddy bear? Okay, I guess.

I said. She replied "Oh, ok, oh! I have an idea. Instead of the cage, I'll bring in a stuffed animal of mine and we'll make like, a zombie bear."

Sounds fine.

I don’t care.

You guys are fucking boring.

I laughed "Awesome" I said. "Ok, I'll see you tomorrow ok?" she replied happily. I answered "Ok, byeee."

I would appreciate it if you would fuck off.

I can’t believe this shit is on GoodReads.

Just before she hung up I could still hear her laughing, leaving me with a sense of accomplishment and a lasting smile as if it were painted across my face.

That’s the end of chapter one?

Oh god, okay.

That was.

Terrible.

The characters are bland and flavorless and I cannot get attached to any of them. I can already tell I’m going to completely despise this.

I’ll see you next time. I need to go think about my life.

~Kat

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