#but the rest is fantastic 90s scifi fantasy

[ahb-writes]

Newsflash: Princess Crystel doesn't give a fuck.

(from Ellcia, 1992)

[theradioghost]

some recs for my podcast mutuals who are burnt out on horror & sad plot stuff

aka I’ve been seeing a few flavors of people exhausted by several of the most popular podcasts around here being pretty dark right now & I have attempted to put together a tasting menu of some stuff I think might help alleviate that burnout (& which also deserves some more love)

1. I'm okay with stuff that’s still on the dark or macabre side, I'd just like something that isn’t 100% characters I care about suffering horribly all the time, maybe some laughs in there

The Beef and Dairy Network: Like a seriously disturbing body horror podcast, except British satirical comedy! About cows! You kind of have to listen to it to get what’s going on tbqh it’s nearly impossible to explain but if you like horror and are just tired of being depressed about it maybe try this one. NOT for the easily nauseated.

Wooden Overcoats: black comedy sitcom about two rival funeral homes on a small island, one run by The Most Perfect Man On Earth (tm) and the other run by two misanthropic twins with a knack for disaster (and their hypercompetent assistant (and a mouse who wants to be an author)). this one is about watching the protagonist suffer horribly all the time but like, this time it’s usually a lot funnier and honestly he deserves it

Death by Dying: (so far very short) dark comedy about the resident obituary writer of idyllic Crestfall, Idaho, who sets out to tell the stories of how the town’s residents died and ends up uncovering a lot of other things, like conspiracies, and man-eating cats, and a poet’s vanishing childhood home, and what his friend the Angel of Death isn’t telling him about what’s in the dark woods. has very strong ASOUE or Pushing Daisies vibes, that sort of dark whimsy and really distinct narrative voice

Arden: “true crime” comedy-ish mystery podcast feat. two of the best bickering hosts anywhere and a whole third host called homoerotic tension, trying to solve a decade-old Hollywood mystery. secretly a shakespeare adaptation. one of the hosts is michelle agresti. an airline run by killer robots is involved, somehow. it’s a perfect storm

2. I’m good with some plot and higher stakes, but I need something more kind and hopeful right now:

Middle:Below: 10-minute episodes about a man who travels between the worlds of the living and the dead to solve the problems of restless ghosts, and the three friends he does it with -- a ghost, a cat, and a writer. their tagline is “remember: bad things will happen.” this is basically a lie, this show is extremely sweet

Alba Salix: high fantasy medical workplace comedy about hospital staff in a fairytale-ish kingdom, namely one grouchy witch, one distracted fairy, and one extremely disgruntled teenager sentenced to community service. also comes with the miniseries The Axe And Crown, which is about a gay troll bartender, his clueless landlord, and his bombastic niece, and also is one of the most heartfelt touching pieces of audio fiction I’ve ever heard?

Dark Ages: also a high fantasy workplace comedy, but in this one the dysfunctional cast work at a magical natural history museum, which thanks to recent events is now hosting the mythical Dark Lord on top of all the usual problems caused by their complete incompetency.

Solutions to Problems: a sci-fi relationship advice show feat. human host Janet and alien host Loaf. also feat. banter, illegal time travel, what to do when the AI that controls the air you breathe is your on-again-off-again girlfriend, and how to avoid your many spouses when they insist you need to come back to the homeworld and spend some time with your spawn.

Victoriocity: steampunk buddy-comedy mystery show, in which misanthropic detective Archibald Fleet (aka Tom Crowley but he’s grouchy this time) and intrepid newbie journalist Clara Entwhistle (aka an absolute ray of sunshine) uncover some Secret Plots within the government of a very different victorian london. if you like the “opposing personalities come to care deeply about one another as friends” trope this one is for you

Inn Between: not an actual play, but a show about the developing relationships of a party of RPG-esque adventurers as they rest at the inn between campaigns. you don’t see the adventures, just the crew growing closer and learning about one another in their moments of peace.

The Strange Case of Starship Iris: sci-fi adventure about a stranded biologist and a ragtag crew of smugglers who set out to resist an authoritarian government, solve a mystery, and prevent a second human-alien war. as far as I can tell their plan for accomplishing this is to be as funny, gay, and adorable as possible, and to dismantle oppressive systems via the power of found family tropes. also via the power of linguistics.

3. just give me the fluffiest, funniest, sweetest, most relaxed, lowest-stakes thing you have:

Everything is Alive: meditative, deeply touching show where Guy From Public Radio holds interviews with inanimate objects. the interviews are super genuine and beautiful and I think they’re improvised, or at least they sound very natural? for people who want to be profoundly moved by a can of generic brand cola (you may not know but you are one of those people)

Standard Docking Procedure: a self-described “hopepunk” scifi sitcom about a group of employees on a space station, dealing with the little daily misadventures of difficult tourists, traffic control disasters, nonexistent love lives, and each other. Has an explicitly stated purpose of staying happy, lighthearted, and comforting.

Love and Luck: tied for absolute most heartwarming audio drama in existence. the story of the relationship between two Australian men, told through voicemail messages, as they fall in love, start a cafe, build a supportive and loving local queer community of close-knit friends and chosen family who help one another through thick and thin, and also find out that they can do magic apparently (IMPORTANT NOTE: there are some darker events and themes tackled in the plot starting around the latter half of the first season, but the focus of the story itself is always on how people support and help one another through trauma and difficulty, and the explicitly stated core premise of the show is that every character will have a happy ending and be okay.)

Quid Pro Euro: Look Around You-esque satire of old 80s and 90s instructional tapes where Felix Trench tells you what the European Union will look like in the far-off year of 2000. I don’t know anything about the European Union but I cackle like a witch when I listen to this

The Cryptonaturalist: I know you’ve seen his tweets. well it’s that but a podcast. just a man with an extremely nice voice talking about fantastical creatures like salamanders that swim through parking lot asphalt or foxes that roam the shelves of libraries at night. in between he reads poetry and generally talks about nature in the most beautiful way you could imagine. this show feels like a peaceful walk in the woods.

The Hidden Almanac: a podcast made 90% out of gentle fantasy worldbuilding, as a somewhat grumpy man in a plague doctor mask tells you about the history of his world and distributes gardening advice. has an immense archive of four-minute long episodes. it’s best to listen in order, because there is continuity, and be aware that about the first year or so has dropped off most feeds. written and performed by much-loved fantasy writer and artist Ursula Vernon and her husband Kevin.

Startripper!!: the other forerunner for most heartwarming audio drama in existence. seriously, you cannot imagine how much joy Startripper!! will bring into your life. it’s just the travelogue of one little alien with a heart full of enthusiasm and love setting out to see the universe and making friends along the way with just about everyone he meets, including his extremely loveable spaceship AI. I really mean it. listen to this show if you listen to nothing else.

Cabin Pressure: BBC radio workplace comedy about the dysfunctional crew of the world’s smallest airline. not only utterly hilarious but will tug on your heartstrings more than you could possibly imagine (this does not look at first like a found family story but it so very much is). warning for bendytoots cucumberpatch but like, in the one and only valid role he’s ever played. you definitely cannot find this show by searching its name on the Internet Archive.

[kewltie]

Somehow, in the last couple of weeks I got a slew of new people coming to my blog and hit 1k followers（○□○）. I’m beyond shocked. Like, I’m pretty sure 90% of you are bots or inactives but to those that are breathing: hello, and thanks for sticking with me! I’m stoke and humbled by your presence especially those that been with me for so long now. I may not know you personally but you know me. Maybe not very well since I’m intensely private and all I do is ramble about my accursed writing habits lmao but!!!! You’re here anyway despite everything and I’m very grateful for your constant support. 

So to welcome to new people and because I don’t I ever did any introduction post before. 

Hello, I’m kewltie. QT. Trina. That girl who keep starting shit and never finishing it a;sjdf;alsjdf;alsjdfa. I’M TRYING. Anyway, here are a few notable things about me and this blog in case you wanna make sure this is someone you wanna, ya know, stick around: 

this is my writing blog. so all you’ll see are huge block of texts from either teasers of stuff im currently working or random pieces that im in the mood for but mostly it’s just me complaining about writing sobs. 

i’m in my mid 20s and have been in fandom since i was like preteen. LJ-era, so yea im a fandom oldie. over a decade of experience here. 

since i have been through several fandom purges bc of ya know censored ship ://///  im very much YKINMK aka Your Kink Is Not My Kink but your kink is okay!!! i dont care for your problematic kinks or ships bc i have my own so yea im cool with you if you are cool with me. 

i live in socal so i come off as US-centric sometimes but im vietnamese. 

bnha is the fandom im writing and most active in but im in like a gazillion fandom. a hyperbole but kinda true?? supernatural, hannibal, voltron, harry potter, 1D, kpop, marvel, sherlock, etc. but you won’t see any of those fandom post here since i only write for ONE fandom at a time bc i cant focus on anything else /o\ lol. 

i swear a lot. like, A LOT. regularly, religiously like every twenty words out of my mouth is a fuck you. it doesn’t mean anything honestly. i just do it when im being overly emotional so when im exicited, upset, sad, etc. 

im overly emotional and sensitive w/ a truck load of anxiety and crippling self esteem.... so i dont do well interacting w/ people. mostly. i try tho!!!!! i mainly just keep to myself and stay in my corner of the fandom. i dont care for fandom drama or anything like that. i just want to read and write in peace. kthx. 

when i make a post on here it’ll mostly be in lowercase, mostly in caps, abuse the word like, and use a lot of exclamation point like 90% of the time. 

i identified as queer. and maybe demisexual/grey-ace??? idk sexuality is confusing and im still figuring it all out but i know at least im comfortable with the label queer. 

i dont write smut for personal reason. maybe one day in the future but its’ not for me right now. dont have a problem reading it but writing is impossible for me. 

i dabbled in all genres. i dont really have a specific genre/niceh i personally enjoy more than the rest or specialized in. i love fantasy, scifi, horror, romance, kinks etc etc. so you’ll find me producing just about anything. you may get trash rom com one day, epic space opera the next, fantastical tales of gods and magic after that, some dark twisted shit later, and anything really when the mood strike me. 

i write for MYSELF. everything i ever produce is bc i wanted it so i did it. so if a fic idea is terrible is only bc I HAVE TERRIBLE TASTES. 

im a very whimsical writer. i write demanding largely on my mood and whatever strike my fancy so it’s all RANDOM which also mean i procrastinate and have a long list of WIPs. i never run out of ideas so that’s the big problem sobs. 

im a voracious reader. if i have to chose b/t writing or reading, it would be reading EVERYTIME YOU ASK ME. i have a semi-secret ao3 reading account with 1k+ bookmarks across various fandoms. it’s my pride and joy!!!!!!!!!!! i love reading fanfic so much T_____T. 

i am a media junkie. i love reading comics (manhwa, manga, webtoons, manhua, etc), watch kdrama/cdramas, love nature/space docu series, tv-shows, etc etc so that leak a lot into my writing. whatever im reading/watching can have influence my reading like wanting to write a gazillion palace aus bc i can’t stop burning through chinese palace/harem dramas. 

i may not be good w/ people but i hope i come off as easy and chill bc i really am!!!! honestly im more afraid of you than you are of me so uh, hi and you’re rad and thanks so much for following me even though i dont think im worth your time lmao /o\. I DONT WANT TO DISAPPOINT YOU BUT I KNOW I WILL. uh, like i said paper thin self esteem.

[revchainsaw]

Demolition Man (1993)

I am by no means an Action Movie guy. I have however time and time again found myself surprised by the genre when it has found its way into my viewing habits. The first Action Movie that really impressed me was Die Hard. I watched it one Christmas as I searched for more unusual holiday fare and was utterly blown away. I felt as if I should seek out more of these films. I got as far as Lethal Weapon 2 before I retreated back to the world of absurd horror and sci-fi. If not for the power of cultural osmosis and the question of the 3 shells i might not have worked up the interest to check out 1993's Demolitions Man. I was expecting a typical cop vs criminal action flick starring Stallone, but what I found was an absolutely delightful Science Fiction Comedy.

The Message

Released in 1993 Demolition man starts right out of the gate with a hilariously pessimistic prediction that by the year 1996 every city in America will be Gotham on crack. The Joker of this film is Simon Phoenix and though he lacks the circus act accoutrement he is absolutely a clown prince of crime. I would not be surprised to discover Heath Ledger took inspiration from Snipes for his turn as an agent of chaos. Phoenix is an unstoppable force and in Stallone he finds his immoveable object, John Spartan (God I love these action movie names), a cop who will walk through hell itself to see this mad man brought to justice. However in his blind pursuit of his greatest enemy Spartan is easily coaxed into making reckless decisions, resulting in unnecessary fatalities. Both Spartan and Phoenix are thus sentenced to cryogenic prison sentences.

In 2032, Phoenix is thawed out for a parole hearing and of course things go as you might expect. Phoenix finds that he has changed, someone has used scifi shenanigans on him while he was frozen giving him abilities both mental and physical that he had not had before, hinting at some kind of conspiracy, he also finds that this was overkill as even the unmodified Phoenix would not have had any trouble conquering the world of 2032. Society has become utopian and nobody has a concept of using physical force to resolve issues. This leads the police of the time to make the controversial decision to thaw out Spartan to bring down the villain.

Hilarity ensues as Sandra Bullocks character, Lenina Huxley (awesome name once again; named after the author of Brave New World), is tasked with keeping the primitive 90s action hero in line with the moral imperatives of the time. This includes avoiding violence, not using naughty words, a vegetarian diet, and socially distanced sexual intercourse (a gag at the time but in the real life 2020's may have been a welcome invention).

Without giving too much more away, this future peace comes at a great cost to personal freedom and expression and there is a society of free people living in the fringes of society known as Scraps lead by a civil rights leader of sorts named Friendly. There is a sinister conspiracy to wipe them out that is the central plot contrivance that brought our forces of Good and Evil to face off. The Super Phoenix betrays his handlers, seeks to turn this utopia into his personal playground and is eventually defeated by Spartan in the final showdown. Sylvester Stallone eagerly eats a rat burger and Sandra Bullock says a cuss word at one point.

The Benediction

Best Character: Phoenix Rises

Everyone loves a villain. I had mostly known Wesley Snipes from the Blade films and did not know he had this kind of range. I expected very stoic boring bad ass action dialogue from both Stallone and Snipes in this movie, and believed the sci-fi elements would simply be space cars and laser guns but was I wrong. I'm so happy to be wrong. This film just surprised me and Snipes performance as Phoenix was by far the most enjoyable. I loved his menace and the threat that he presented. I don't think there had been such a loveable bastard force of nature character like this portrayed in film so well until this time. He is such a believable threat that I really doubted there was going to be a way to bring him down. It was great to see the other characters underestimate him and to see him not only physically dominate his obstacles but to also out smart and out class his 'puppet masters' was just a pleasure the whole time.

Best Actor: Bullock in the Chamber

I know that Sandra Bullock stars in a ton of comedy films but I've never been able to say that I found her to be particularly funny. She also strangely plays a cop in a lot of these comedies. I may think of Lilina Huxley every time I think of Sandra Bullock from now on. She was absolutely hilarious, deadpan and dedicated to this character in a way that sold the world of 2032 America. I really don't think that the overly sensitive utopic world would have felt like a genuine place where human beings lived and not just a cartoonish backdrop without the honesty that Bullock brought to the role. It's hard to find actors who can inhabit a comedic world as seriously as a Middle Earth. And maybe that's not what she'd like to be remembered for, but I think she deserves that credit.

Best Aspect: a Genre/Genre/Genre Classic

Demolition Man is such a pleasant surprise. No one in this movie seems to begrudge it's wackiness and it lends itself to the humor in a way that lets the audience rest in the assurance that this was a pleasure for the cast and crew as much as it is a pleasure for us. It doesn't sacrifice it's action to be to screwball, and it doesn't sacrifice it's world building to be to absurd. It's a comedy that takes it's self seriously. I can not stress enough that this movie nails several genre's at once. It's a funny comedy, an ideologically committed satire, an exciting action flick, a hard science fiction tale that explores the high concept of the consequences of utopia, and a fantasy that sells it's goofy future world.

Worst Aspect: If Only Cops Were More Violent

I am not a fan of the implications of the film. In the 90s it seemed that PC culture was the big enemy of personal freedom and that giving a shit about other peoples feelings was going to turn our civilization into a bunch of overly sensitive weaklings. This narrative has imbedded itself in our culture and produced a generation of selfish assholes who feel completely justified in their every callous action. Demolition Man is a Libertarian science fiction film, but I find that it's central fiction is just that. I do not believe that committing to non-violent conflict resolutions, considering the feelings of others, and not eating meat will 'neuter' our abilities to live individually free and fulfilling lives. It's a caricature, that while funny, i think is inaccurate. If you are of the mindset that Personal Freedom is at odds with social justice then you may find yourself enjoying the idea that it takes a violent police reaction to save society from it's own worst impulses, but I find that idea fairly fantastical. I think seeing the community stand firm in their convictions and still overcome evil may have been a more ideologically realistic interpretation of how the day can be saved, but instead we are given a lone wolf renegade cop killing the bad guy will reform the world, and in todays world, that just seems like a profoundly stupid message.

Best Scene: Fight at the Museum

Demolition Man boasts several ass kicking confrontations between Spartan and Phoenix. The opening Escape from L.A. backdrop that establishes these deadly foes, and the fall out that an interaction between the two can have is considered extreme even when the world is seemingly at the brink of collapse. It really sets a high stake for our squeaky clean future. The final battle in the Cryo-lab is also iconic and features a pretty excellent practical effect. However, I'd have to give the best scene to the fight at the weapons exhibit. The fact that Spartan knows his enemy so well is on display as he predicts that the Weapons exhibit will be an irresistible draw, we get to see Phoenix at his chaotic best, great one liners, and it's just a toy box for both Hero and Villain to let lose and deliver on that fall out I was just mentioning had been set up in the first act. While I loved the comedic take on this rivalry, I'd like to see Snipes and Stallone take up their beef again in a more seriously violent film. They make for great arch-rivals.

Best Gag: Potty Mouth

When I was a kid I remember my father hauling ass down our residential road and getting pulled over just a block away from our driveway. I think he was doing 55 in a 35. It was his fault but as the proud small government southern man he was, he felt it was absolutely overreach on behalf of the police department to give him a ticket on the road that he lived on. Stupid, I know. But our car was full of groceries and the officer let our ice cream melt while the whole time we sat in the truck with our home in view. My father was so enraged about this ticket that he got revenge on the mean old government by writing the check to pay his ticket, and then using said check to wipe sweat from his ass crack after mowing the lawn the next day. He mailed it in and I as an 11 year old knew that it was not going to effect the offending officer in the least, but that some poor old county clerk was going to probably get pink eye. Anyway, if you handle money or checks, you should always wear gloves, or wash your hands regularly before touching your face or eating. All that to say, I really enjoyed that after being frustrated with the 3 shell system Stallone racks up a series of fines for profanity. These fines are issued via an automated ticket dispenser on the wall in the police department. Stallone lets out a string of hilarious expletives that I hope to God were adlibbed, before he is satisfied with a nice pile of paper in his hand. He implies that he is going to the bathroom to do a little paperwork, and the scene is over. Even if you don't want to watch the whole movie, go ahead and YouTube this scene. Stallone has a surprising talent for comedy on display here.

Summary

To Begin with, I would say not to take this film too seriously: It is a comedy, after all, and I am not certain that the political implications of the movie were meant to be thought out as much as I have above. Unlike Judge Dredd, which Stallone would star in 2 years after this, (tragically deciding to bring Rob Schneider along with him) Demolition Man does not openly advocate for fascism. It's funny, it's a tight story with a satisfying conclusion, it's got great action choreography and it may be Snipes, Bullock and Stallone at their absolute best.

Overall Grade: B

[yodepalma]

Fanfic asks: 8, 9, 11, 23, 27, 36, and 44?

8. How did you getinvolved in your latest fandom?Uhh so last…November? I was in a chat with some friends during NaNoWriMo andsomebody’s husband was playing the game, so the rest of us were basicallymaking fun of it while she gave us a play-by-play or something. I don’tremember it too well. Somehow (mymemories are very vague here), the idea for the blogs was born even though atthis point none of us had so much as watched videos of any gameplay. And then @rhymeswithpistarted playing and making elaborateheadcanons and I wrote DroveThrough Ghosts to Get Here to make them happy, then eventually decided Ishould maybe play the game I waswriting fic for and, uh, I haven’t escaped since. (It took me until like Marchto play the game, btw. Drove ThroughGhosts was written in December.)

9. What are the bestthings about your current fandom?Oh man I don’t spend nearly as much time wallowing in the fandom as I shouldso I don’t really know tbh. This is like the only fandom I’ve ever been inwhere I spend more time creating than consuming? Not because there isn’tanything worth consuming—everything I take in is fantastic—but I’m super low on spoons these days and it takes a lotfor me to engage in both. I will say that the people who write meta have been killing me, though, because ya’ll aretoo smart ok. Just. cut it out gawd.…Oh but also I’m getting a kick out of how much people are…not hating my forays into crackship rarepair hell? Like. Thank you,everyone, for not trying to murder me for writing Cor/Dino, because even I’mstill going ????? over that shit.

11. Who is yourcurrent OTP?COR/DINO FOREVER *DIES*ok no but seriously I’m not entirely sure I havean OTP? The closest I probably come is Lunyx, because I don’t really shipeither of them with anyone else, but it’s a pretty lowkey OTP. An argumentcould be made for Promptio, I guess, because if I’m not shipping either of themwith anyone else, I just add it in because I like the two of them together. Butalso that OT4 guys. And Dino/Prompto. and tbh Dino/anyone. Fight me I just wantDino to be happy. (How did this happen. Why am I obsessed with an NPC. How do Iget out of Dino hell?? No, no, don’t help me. I like it down here.)

23. Name a fic you’vewritten that you’re especially fond of & explain why you like it.……………..*flops* I HATE THEM ALL DON’T READ ANYTHING I WRITEOkay, as a general rule I don’t really likemy stuff. Certainly not enough to be able to explain why I like it. ._. Soexcuse me while I waffle over this question FOREVER. Also, to make mattersworse, most of the stuff I’m fond-ish of is kind of, um. Ancient. XDOKAY I GOT THIS. So just to keep with the current fandom theme, the thing I’mfondest of from FFXV is honestly Adventures of the DaemonSlayer, because BAMF!Iris and troll!Cor give me life. And also it’s like90% crack. …And I wanted to choose something that wasn’t a neverending WiP.But in a sort of. fondest of ALL TIME thing, I’m going to go with The Forest, an old KingdomHearts fic (Axel/Roxas, with hints of Roxas/Namine). I did a lot of experimental sort of stuff? back inmy KH days, and this one was a fairy tale AU without any dialogue, and I thinkit turned out really well? idk it’s just a lot different than what I normallywrite, and it was an interesting experiment, and I think I’d like to playaround with something like it again at some point. Honestly, I wish I was asadventurous with writing now as I was in my KH days. ONE DAY. Maybe. When I havemore spoons.

27. What do you hatemore: Coming up with titles or writing summaries?Writing summaries. Oh my godsummaries can just go fucking die I just UUUUGGGHHHH. Listen I can just flub atitle by going “hey this song kind of sort of fits the story I’ll just stealthe title/some lyrics/a single word if I have to”. The summary I agonize over forever because if it sucksNOBODY WILL EVER READ MY STORY. And then I’ll die from lack of attention.Please remember I’m basically a cat, guys. My summaries are screams forattention. Pet me! Love me! Pay attention to me! But not too much attention orI’ll get overwhelmed and bite you. (just kidding, I don’t bite.)

36. What’s yourfavourite genre to write?SCHMOOP. And high fantasy AUs. And. AUs in general. Schmoopyhigh fantasy AUs. Sometimes scifi, also schmoopy. Basically I just like tosmear happiness and joy all over fandom and destroy everyone’s littleangstfests, so it makes me like 1000000x more amused every time I remember thatmy two closest friends in my current fandom are the angstiest angstpiles inangstdom. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯OH and crossovers. Love me a good crossover. But only between two fandoms so Ican smoosh them together hilariously. :DDD

44. What ship do youfeel needs more attention?Promptio :DDD “But it’s the fourth most popular ship in the fandom” you mayargue. Yeah, well. The heart wants what the heart wants. And it also wants more Dino/Prompto and forsomeone besides me to write Cor/Dino, but I feel like I’m more likely to get morePromptio SO~