#but the reasons for the breakup were more complicated and messy than i made it seem in that post

[zivazivc]

Man she really dumped him for being sad? I see where creek got his personality-

queen also didn't sign up for raising baby brothers-in-law instead of their own kids that they've been planning on having

[apclyptc]

LET ‘EM KNOW— chris sturniolo x reader

synopsis: you and chris both know your former relationship was toxic. it doesn’t stop either of you from playing games.

warnings: smut here, there, and everywhere, ex!chris, toxic relationship, pet names (princess, baby), riding, doggy, unprotected sex, lots of teasing, oral (f!receiving)

“i’m coming back for good so let them niggas know it’s mine, ‘i already got someone’ is what you tell ‘em every time…”

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

no matter what you did, you couldn’t shake him.

when you were at a party, there he was, nonchalant in the way he strolled up to you and scaring away whoever you were talking to at the time.

constantly texting you, despite the somewhat messy breakup you two had about a month ago.

god, even when you made plans with one of his brothers, he was always interrupting and making himself known.

chris had a way of making sure to permeate into every aspect of your life.

although, it’s not like you were completely innocent. secretly you loved the thrill of knowing that he was utterly jealous if you were a meter’s distance away from another man. you picked up your phone with superhuman speed when you saw your phone light up with his contact.

and even though you would argue for him to leave you alone, his brothers could tell by the look on your face, you were failing to hide that you loved his interruptions.

so when you arrived to yet another influencer party, you knew it was only a matter of time before chris appeared.

“y/n!” nick shouted your name upon seeing you. you two had a close friendship, he was the first of the triplets you met, before he had introduced you to him.

and as if he could sense whenever he popped up into your head, chris turned around and laid eyes on you, immediately heading your way.

“hey baby.” he smirked at you, using the pet name he gave you when you were together.

“i don’t know how many times i have to tell you not to call me that anymore.” you spoke, though by the way you said the words he knew you were anything but serious.

“cmon, don’t be like that.” the smirk that never left his face when he was around you only continued to grow.

“like what? single?” you retorted, mirroring his expression. it was a game you both played, teasing and mocking each other, but never crossing the boundary.

“you know there’s no one else like me.” and while you knew it to be true, you weren’t going to give him the satisfaction of agreeing. not out loud anyways.

“thank god for that. nick, come get a drink with me.” you turned your attention to the much friendlier, less annoying brother next to you and walked in the direction of the kitchen.

“i don’t know why you always do this.” nick laughed.

“what exactly am i doing?” you questioned, pouring yourself a drink.

“pretending you’re not still interested in chris.”

you scoffed, a little too loudly, and even you didn’t believe your own reaction for one second.

“i broke up with him, remember? why would i do that if i still wanted him?” a lie.

“i don’t know, maybe because you, and my brother included, love to make things complicated.” nick reasoned. this wasn’t exactly the first time you had broken up, although the breakups never usually lasted as long as this one.

“it’s not complicated. he’s a dick and i don’t like to be a part of his silly games.” another lie.

“i’m only saying this because i love you, but you absolutely love playing his games. sometimes i think you start them yourself.”

another loud scoff left your lips, even more unconvincing than the last.

“whatever. i’m ending this conversation. what about you? spoke to daniel yet?” you pivoted to nick, who shook his head.

“no. because unlike some people i know, i block my ex boyfriends so they can’t contact me.” he narrowed his eyes at you jokingly.

“touché.”

after a while of letting the alcohol in your system kick in, and shamelessly singing along to the music blaring from the speakers, you found yourself imprisoned in a conversation with some random influencer who waved you over.

“…and that’s why i never do ads on instagram anymore. it just seems so pointless, y’know?” the man finished his lengthy monologue, not even noticing your bored expression and the fact you only contributed mhm and yeah to the conversation.

“so what about you? what type of content do you do? maybe we can collab sometime.” he said with a smirk.

but it just wasn’t the same.

no, it was never the same. for the last month you tried to find that familiar smirk in the faces of multiple other men, trying to distract yourself from the truth.

and the truth was, there really wasn’t anyone else like chris.

you momentarily glanced behind the man in front of you, only to see the face of the man occupying your thoughts.

there it was. there he was, watching your every move, and if it were anyone else it would be creepy. but not chris. with chris, it was actually the opposite, you felt safer knowing he was watching.

“y/n?” the boring man snapped you out of your very dangerous thoughts.

“sorry, what did you say?” he must’ve been still talking while you were staring over to chris. you took another quick glance over to him but he had disappeared.

“i asked if you wanted to go out with me.” he repeated himself.

what?

“i-” you tried to make up some excuse, any excuse, but there was only one you could think of.

“i’ve already got someone.”

his response was curt and flat, but you paid no mind to what he said. you were already put off by how he droned on and on about himself. and when he did finally ask you something about yourself, it was only a segue into him asking you out, which would have only led to mediocre sex and leaving unsatisfied.

chris may have had his faults, but he never left you unsatisfied.

the nameless boring man had made his exit shortly after your lie confession, and it left you alone with a decision to make.

you could either:

a. enjoy the rest of the party and go home with your friends.

or b. find chris and give in to the undeniable fact that you love the little game you play.

as you walked around the house to find chris, you made a quick pit stop to the kitchen to pour yourself one last drink before making a decision you could easily regret tomorrow.

from there you could see chris, talking to a girl. more importantly he was talking to a girl that wasn’t you. interesting.

“baby, i’ve been looking for you everywhere!” you smiled sweetly, ignoring the girl in front of him. you found great satisfaction in knowing you had used his own tricks against him.

“baby? you didn’t tell me you had a girlfriend.” she scoffed and made her way to the next good looking man she could find.

chris looked at you, his tongue poking the inside of his cheek.

“thought we couldn’t say that anymore.”

you placed a hand on his chest, rising on your tiptoes to meet the shell of his ear, “i’ve changed my mind. don’t you wanna stop playing now?”

chris let out a sigh, before grabbing your hand to hold it in his. it was significantly larger than yours, something he knew you loved. the difference in size between you and him made you dizzy.

“i’ve waited a whole month for you to give up.”

quick. the movement of chris slamming the door on one of the guest rooms to push you up against it and smash his lips to yours.

desperate. the way your hands moved to his face, neck, arms.

you didn’t even realise just how badly you wanted to kiss him until you were doing it, and he was exactly the same, prodding his tongue into your mouth and softly grunting into you.

chris walked you backwards, not allowing you to break from the more than passionate kiss, until your back was flat against the bed.

you allowed your heels to slide off of your feet into the floor, and chris matched your actions, pulling his shoes off his feet.

he pulled his shirt over his head, throwing it beside his shoes and then tending to yours.

you immediately lifted your body to undo your bra, revealing the sweet mounds of flesh that chris had been dying to touch again.

and he did. taking a tit in one hand and kneading while he attached his mouth to the other.

you moaned quietly, which only spurred him on more.

releasing your nipple with a pop, he spoke, “missed this body.”

“enough talking,” you replied, “give me what i want.”

chris smirked, yet again, and you felt like he was acutely aware of the fact that you were addicted to that face. you knew he saved it for you, too. despite all of the other girls, despite all of the arguments you found yourself in, you knew he never looked at anyone else like that.

you were nothing like them other bitches.

“what is it that you want, hm?” he pulled your skirt down your legs, opening them wide, “you want me to touch you?”

his hand snaked up your thigh, a single finger dragging from the base of your panties, up to your clit. you shuddered at the motion.

“you want me to taste you?” he hooked the same finger to the waistband of your underwear and pulled down.

all you could do was watch as he teased you.

“tell me. i won’t know what you want until you speak, princess.”

he was sadistic in that way. chris wanted to make you voice exactly what you needed, otherwise he would leave you wet and on the edge. it was all part of the game.

“just want to feel you, baby. i need- ah!” you weren’t even able to finish your sentence as chris dipped his head down and licked a stripe up your cunt.

he was the only one who knew how to make you fall apart. you hated him for it, hated the fact he knew your body like the back of his hand. most of all you hated how much you couldn’t hate him no matter how hard you convinced yourself you did.

“keep making those sounds, baby. you know i love it.” he sloppily ate your pussy, his large hands underneath your thighs to hold your legs open.

“fuck you,” you spat, without much conviction, since the feeling of his warm tongue diving into your puffy cunt had you reeling and moaning.

“i plan to,” he teased, “just gotta taste this pussy first.”

your hand flew to his hair as he continued lapping up the arousal leaking out of you, tugging on the strands.

it was dizzying the way he made out with your cunt, eating like a starved man. you started bucking your hips into his face, wanting more.

but he wasn’t going to let you cum on his face. not tonight. he was selfish, and only wanted you to release all over his cock, which was throbbing at every moan that left your lips.

chris removed himself from the warm embrace of your pussy, to your dismay, before ridding himself of his pants.

“stop whining. i won’t hold back when i fuck you.” he took his dick in his hand and pumped himself as you watched impatiently.

“maybe i should just cum like this and leave you clenching around nothing,” he hovered over you, “is that what you want?”

obviously that wasn’t what you wanted. what you wanted was to make him sweat, and take control over him so he would stop running his pretty little mouth. you replaced his hand with yours and stroked up and down his dick, causing him to shudder.

“no, i want you to stop talking and just fuck me. or did you forget how? is that why you’re taking so long?” in a matter of seconds it was him who was under you. you lowered yourself down towards his leaking tip, only allowing the first inch of his cock to be inside you, as you watched his breathing get heavier with want.

“not so fun being teased is it? maybe i should just touch myself instead and you can finish yourself off in the bathroom while you think all about me.” as toxic as you both were, you really did get a kick out of torturing him this way.

“go ahead. we both know you want this as much as i do.”

you sighed dramatically before speaking, “mm, you’re right.” and sank down until he was fully buried inside of you. you let out a deep whine at the full feeling, and he sighed shakily. you were just as tight as he remembered.

you began to bounce slowly, almost pulling yourself off him completely before slamming back down. chris’ hands were glued to your hips, squeezing tightly almost as if he were purposefully trying to leave bruises. you started picking up the pace.

all that could be heard in the room were your bodies slapping together, and the mixture of your moans and his grunts as you fucked yourself on his cock.

“fuck, baby,” chris groaned, as he grabbed your hips impossibly tighter and thrusted up into you, “feels so good.” and he was right. the feeling of his dick hitting the walls of your cervix was mind numbing.

“a-ah, chris! want you to, fuck, hit it from the back.” you breathed.

chris didn’t need to be told twice. he loved fucking you from behind. he pulled you off of him, and you got on all fours like it was instinct. chris didn’t waste any time to slip back inside of you, the feeling of your walls clenching around him was too good for him to tease you.

grabbing a fistful of your hair, he slammed into your cunt over and over, throwing his head back in bliss.

“who else can fuck you like this, huh? it’s why you always come crawling back to me, princess. no one else can stuff you full like me. admit it.” he grunted, thrusting harder, and faster, and deeper.

“there’s no one—oh, fuck!” as soon as you spoke, chris slowed right down, pressing deep inside you, using your hips to pull you into him and giving you short, quick thrusts.

“ahhhh, chris, right there…” you mewled.

“you were saying?” what an asshole.

“there’s no one, like you.” you choked out finally.

“yeah? you’re all mine, baby. this pussy is all mine.” and then the relentless fucking continued.

it was if your words were a catalyst to the best sex he had ever given you. abusing your cunt like it was his property, like you were just made for him to fuck. chris had you seeing stars, you knuckles going white from how hard you were gripping the bedsheets below you. letting out the most pornographic sounds, because you were all his. as much as it pissed you off to admit, even to yourself, the reason you couldn’t shake him was because you didn’t want to. you couldn’t, not when he was fucking you so good.

“chris, fuck fuck fuck i’m gonna cum. baby, don’t stop, oh my god, i fucking love you!” you cried, coming hard and fast in the same way he was fucking you.

chris felt his dick throb at your words, babbling them out in a sex-filled daze. his thrusts had become erratic and sloppy, only focusing on the clench of your pussy sucking him in like it wanted him to stay buried inside it forever.

“yeah, you love me. yeah, you fuckin’ love me. i love you too, baby. gonna cum, gonna cum, i’m—” chris spilled into you, whining and moaning as he let you take every last drop of it. he slowly pulled out of you, watching the some of mixture of your cum drop out of your hole.

you were truly spent. you moved to lie down on your back.

“so, did i make you fall in love again, or nah?” he smirked, his softened dick tucked back into his underwear. you rolled your eyes.

“just because we fucked doesn’t mean we’re back together.” you rebutted. a lie.

“what happened to ‘i fucking love you, mmm!’” he mocked you, smiling.

“could say the same to you. you said you loved me too.”

“that’s because i do love you.” he responded.

you weren’t expecting that. “you do?”

“i was talking to your pussy.”

you hit him with the drool covered pillow that was under your head, “fuck off.” chris only chuckled at you.

“of course i love you. so are we back together or no?” he asked you.

“this is the last time i will be your girlfriend, do you understand me? next time we break up that’s it.” you warned him.

“pretty sure you said that last time.”

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

a/n wow that was a long long chapter i feel like. also i’ve changed my writing layout. doesn’t it look so chic??? i’m going to go through all my posts and change it to this so do not mind me :p

on a separate note, i want a toxic boyfriend like this. i have problems. bye!

© APCYLPTC 2023. do not repost, translate, or duplicate any of my works here or any other websites.

[targaryenluvs]

COLD

PAIRING: Jungkook x Fem!Reader, Namjoon x Fem!Reader (WOC)

SUMMARY: Not a single person would have expected this from them, especially not ARMY. But it seemed Jungkook had a taste for things unwilling, and he couldn’t care for your feelings at all.

WARNINGS: Dark themes, sexual content, non-consensual acts, attempted breakup, odd behaviour, possessiveness, secrecy, blackmailing, helplessness, complicity

A/N: I do not condone the actions within this story, nor do I think that any member of BTS acts like this. All pure fiction. Inspired by ‘Good Guy’ - ZAYN.

WORDCOUNT:

perhaps it was your fault.

wishful thinking and a few too many drinks to try and calm your nerves. it all caused you to wind up here, at namjoons place. you’d met him more than enough times to show up without texting ahead, you were good friends. always laughing together and chatting away the night when around each other.

he was a good friend.

your trust in him was heavy, and you hoped he’d have a solution for the problem at hand.

your boyfriend, jungkook.

lately your relationship felt as if it was a cage, not for him, but you. he’s jeon jungkook! international pop star, model, singer, rapper, dancer and everything under the sun. what can’t he do?

let go.

you’d tried to get out of the relationship before. you found yourself either stuck at his apartment for the entire day, waiting for him, or bombarded with text messages and calls when out of his place. you were tired. your entire life had become him. keeping your relationship was exhausting enough. dodging cameras, unable to get to his house during the day due to eminent fear of paparazzi.

you were tired of feeling like a secret. something to be held during the nights and hidden away during the light of day. and you hated that you felt this way. the excitement kept you going during the beginning, secret moments and stares in public.

it was exhilarating. but it became old quickly, for you at least.

-

“i can’t keep doing this, i’m so tired. i’m tired of hiding, and i’m not trying to pressure you into going public but i want to be able to be with you outside. not the same thing every single day. i’m not even mad at doing the same jesus, i just want to be able to breath fresh air with you.”

“and we can! i have a break coming soon, we can get away. we can do anything you want baby.”

jungkook made his way past the bed to you, holding you in his arms in front of the tall mirror. “no you don’t get it, and that’s okay. i’m not mad, i’m tired. i just want someone that’s—,” you exhaled before continuing, “i want someone available.”

it felt like his arms constricted you even further, the firm muscle keeping you in place. whether it was a conscious move or subconscious, it hurt like a bitch. “let go please.”

your pleading fell on deaf ears as he nuzzled into your neck, lips pressing heavy kisses to your cold skin. it was cold that night, the wind flowed through the room and caused the curtains to flutter.

the constriction, the kisses, the cold, it was overwhelming. “i’m okay.” you scrunched your eyebrows at his reply. he lifted you easily, carrying you to the bed before climbing in with you. “we’ll talk about it tomorrow i promise.” the lights were out, and you were left in the cold.

-

the talk never came. he’d left early in the morning for rehearsals and that was that. every time you tried to bring it up there was always something else that took priority. whether it be a rehearsal, a birthday, anything to avoid the topic. jungkook would take it.

you were fed up, and rightfully so. of course he didn’t want to hear all the reasons you wanted to leave. it wasn’t that you didn’t love him, you just needed more. and the overwhelming anxiety you felt at the idea of other people finding out was always looming over you like a dark cloud.

this didn’t need to be messy, and you hoped that talking it out with someone close to him would help. all the members would agree and understand your point. they had busy lives, and their careers were only growing. with military enlistments and solo projects? they were still growing. and their comeback would be insane.

namjoon tended to answer relatively quickly, “hey, what’re you doing here?” he wasn’t annoyed, just curious, not many people showed up on doorsteps at 2am.

“i need to talk to someone about me and him. please?”

he opened the door wider, inviting you in. you gladly accepted, the cold air was hitting you harshly. namjoons place was one of your favourites, he had good taste. you hoped you’d be able to see it again after the breakup.

the two of you sat down, “so what did you need to say?” namjoon tilted his head inquisitively, giving you his attention.

so you spilt it all. the loneliness, the fear, the isolation, the tiring cycle. you loved him, but you felt as if life in general was keeping you apart. and you wanted to freely love him without worrying about other people and their feelings. you talked about how it sometimes felt as if the fans and their feelings were put first. (you loved all army, but they did take up a chunk of love and time. the fans were the biggest part of this.)

namjoon didn’t interrupt you at all, instead piping in with ‘i get it’ and ‘i’m sorry’. you sighed, your throat dry after speaking for so long. but it felt good, to fully get it off your chest and speak to someone who didn’t dismiss you or change the subject. it was acknowledgment. and it felt good.

“you could’ve told me you felt like that.” jungkooks voice caused goosebumps all over your body. your back faced the door/entryway, how long had he been there? how the hell didn’t you hear him?

you turned to see namjoons face filled with sympathy, “did you know he’d be here?” the exhale was all you needed.

“i called him when i saw you on the security feed.” and just like that,

it was cold again.

[tfdtreasurer]

<3 erinep!!

i have no real reason for liking it as much as i do, maybe im just weird ?

Not weird at all anon!

You say you have no reason but I can think of plenty. Erinep is one of those ships that I'm shocked isn't more popular. In many ways, they have an interesting dynamic that makes for good storytelling.

They're both trolls kind of known for their unrequited crushes, so it makes intuitive narrative sense to have them get over it through each other. Nepeta's flaw is that she lacks the courage to make romantic advances out of fear of failure. Eridan's flaw is that she makes romantic advances with the expectation of failure and thus creates self fulfilling prophesies of rejection.

Eridan is so weird...

It's their flaws that led to the canonical obstacle to them as a ship, the fact that they have gotten off to a rocky start romantically. Eridan having gossiped with Karkat, is aware that Nepeta has feelings for somebody else, but in true Eridan fashion, attempts to ask her out anyways. Nepeta thus diagnoses her as a creep and insincere. Considering that my own interpretation of Eridan is based on insincerity and how weird Alternian society makes you, yeah I'd call that fair. Creep is certainly strong language that would suggest little chance for romance developing but lets not forget whose Nepeta's moirail is, and what she calls him in her own words. She's well aware that hemospectrum hangups lead people to be way weirder than they really would be, and as one of the most compassionate trolls, she's probably sympathetic to that. It is in the same conversation that you get her calling Eridan insincere that you get her feeling bad that she died. Because Nepeta is just that nice.

Getting over it

That being said, they still both require some character development to make the ship work, which from a storytelling perspective, is good. They don't need to be each other's moirails or anything, I approve of Meowrails and would not want to disrupt that, so other characters can help drive their development instead (*Cough cough,* Kanaya, but this is the erinep post). Nepeta has two main paths: giving up passively and not asking Karkat, or ripping the band-aid off and asking him out. The second option is in my mind the best for character development as it provides closure. However, there's also a parallel narrative decision to be made: does Eridan tell her what will happen, since she knows, or will she let Nepeta ask Karkat out anyways. I'm a complicated girl and so I think the third and most emotionally complicated option is the best: have Eridan encourage her to ask Karkat out. It's in keeping with Eridan's approach to Kanaya's crush on Vriska, and isn't necessarily mutually exclusive with Eridan telling her what will happen. They can have a conversation where she warns Nepeta what happened with her, the emotions she felt, but also recognize the necessity of asking anyways. It'd be a good moment for Eridan's character to develop too, recontextualizing for herself her rejection by Feferi. And bam, voila, hey presto, you've got them both taking their first stepping stone of emotional maturity together. From adversity, progress.

Feferi's #1 hater propaganda

If you see this blog you should know that I'm Feferi's #1 hater, and so Eridan perhaps being honest with somebody would lead to her revealing why she was such a desperate loser in past (the breakup+rejection combo leading to messy pinball-like attempt at rebounding). And while getting over the flush crush is required for both of them, I believe Nepeta would be kind of shocked at the nature of Eridan's moirallegience. What do you mean she just started calling you her moirail? She didn't consult you about that? What do you mean she thought the job was over after entry? She thought weirdo behavior stops on a dime? What do you mean she knew that you didn't appreciate it and she went on with it anyways? What do you mean she expected it to be a two way street? Me and my healthy moirail were always super clear about being moirails, and of course I stuck with him after entry. The gig with my own weirdo is practically full time, but you do it because your genuine feelings for the person. I did it because my efforts were appreciated by someone that recognized their issues as issues and wanted me to be their moirail. Hell, if you're going to change canonical events that allow all noncanonical shipping to happen, you might as well give Nepeta one successful "shipping moment" (the irony is not lost on me, shut up) by letting her matchmake Eridan with a moirail that would care about her (*COUGH. COUGH.* kan, but like also while I don't care about the recent pale erikar trend, that could be hella character moment for Nepeta to make that call).

Hunters

If your interpretation of Eridan emphasizes her brief environmental commentary, the fact that Nepeta lives fairly detached from industrialized society makes how they relate to each other interesting. Nepeta is if anything characterized as being very not wasteful, and in her own words: "i dont kill anything i dont eat, that would be mean." This stands in direct contrast with Eridan who has resigned to how her occupation may be infinitely necessary and entirely justified, but is distinctly evil in purpose and function. It helps that although orphaning doesn't appear especially wasteful (the whole whale does get eaten), it draws on historical industrial whaling which was infamously wasteful. There's something very interesting there between, again, the most compassionate troll hunting for herself, and the orphaner hunting for somebody else. It would be an emotionally complicated mix of sympathy and disgust, made part tragic by the fact that Eridan transparently expects the disgust, but would be absolutely flabbergasted by sympathy. It continues the cute but somewhat tumultuous path that I think characterizes some of the best love stories.

Extra

There's also a few other little things that can tie them together and make good stories out of their ship.

If you see Equius' overprotectiveness of Nepeta as a significant flaw, he can be given development by Nepeta properly dunking on Eridan during a low stakes lover's spat. Proving that although she may have not played FLARP with the rest of the "dangerous" trolls, she's no less capable of handling herself. You can play it for comedy as it's always fun to see Eridan dunked on, and Nepeta could ride her around by the horns like a Left for Dead jockey as Equius looks on proudly. For anti sea dweller reasons maybe? We'll keep working on it, Equius.

Speaking of FLARP, they're both RP dorks. Common on alternia so perhaps nothing really special, but the distinction between FLARP and RP is more significant than the distinction between LARP and RP (astonishing, I know). FLARP, an acronym which is already losing its meaning to me, is kinda psychotic and so I'm inclined to agree with Equius that it should be avoided. Nepeta toning Eridan down from FLARP+orphaning that was her hobby to a more healthy and low stakes RP would be both awkward and cute. Plus it can serve as a character moment for Eridan where the orphaner dualscar character is retired and she can fully embrace the 🌠 wwonderful wwhimsy of wwizardry 🌠.

And sometimes it's just the silly little things that can justify a ship. Maybe the cat likes fish. Maybe the military history nerd likes trenchcoats.

IDK, erinep is just cute. Solidly approved, anon, erinep has been placed in the "works really well" tier just below GOATED tier.

Whew, yet another tantric Homestuck analysis sesh. People insane enough to have read to the end: Don't forget that hopping anonymously in the asks to suggest Eridan ships for me to spend time analyzing is entirely free.

[mebemilena]

Every breath you take. Every move you make

A/N: I'm trying to organize it. I'm enjoying it so far and  I must practice my writing. I'm a comic book artist (writer and illustrator), and i'm slowly getting back on using Tumblr and writing fanfiction, english is not my first language. Feedback is welcome and THANK YOU so much for reading me <3

i think this would be between Bodyguard and We fight and breakup, We kiss and make up. it's a bit complicated to insert Reader on the episodes, sorry if it's a little messy. I prefer it much more whe we have more dialogues.

if you havent noticed, i love taking the titles from songs. This here is Every Breath you Take, by The Police.

pairing: maya lopez x reader AFAB reader

-

Arriving at Tamaha was the easy part. All you needed was a map and follow the track you put on Maya's prosthetic leg. You took the risk of her changing it, getting another. But you thought it'd be easy for her to steal another motorbike, or get a new phone than getting a prosthetic leg that fit her just right. Though you thought you could just put it on her favorite boots, you'd still pick the prosthetic leg. Something she couldn't just get rid of in a second.

As you drove an old Honda you'd keep yourself distant, the last thing you'd want now would be for Maya to find out you were following her. The only reason you knew about Tamaha at all was because she had told you before, when you were closer and she hadn't tried to kill Fisk yet. Before she broke your heart by running away without saying goodbye.

- - -

Watching Maya from afar was not difficult for you, as a Black Widow, you knew how to become invisible. But it hurt to see her so close yet so far from what you once had. You held yourself back as you watched stupid Vickie and those girls kidnap her, your blood boiling in your veins. But you knew better than to stop them at it,  curious at what the hell they were trying to do.

As you followed Maya's steps for the past few days, you took notes of your date ideas. "Her uncle owns a skating park!", you said

to yourself, way too excited for the possibility of skating with Maya, holding her hand at the sound of Love is in the Air by John Paul Young. Your fantasy came to an end when you saw Boonie being taken. You couldn't help a smile though. "Not like I wanted to meet you. But we have a girl's night some day, yeah?', you thought.

Temptation ate your insides. You wanted to help Maya, to give her some support and beat Vicky until he begged you to stop and apologized to your Maya. But you couldn't risk much more than you had already. If leaving New York wasn't an indication your relationship was on the line, taking her as a princess and fighting her dragons would set fire to it all.

You kept tracking Maya on your phone, watching her wander around the room through your phone screen. When Zane arrived with his gang you couldn't help but rolling your eyes at him. You hated him, he seemed to think too high of himself and you didn't like the way he chewed on toothpicks, stinking like testosterone. 

You took the time to enter the place and watch Maya from a tiny bit closer. You understood Vickies plan and it didn't take a genius to put two and two: he wouldn't get out of it alive. Stupid Vickie.

Zane's group filled the skating area, talking to Henry and Boonie. When Vickie got shot you rolled your eyes again. "Such a mess", you thought. "Where is Maya Lopez?", stupid Zane asked and Dragula by Rob Zombie screamed from the sound system all of a sudden. 

You had to hold yourself not to cheer aloud, trying to keep softly headbanging your head through the music. You loved that song, Maya knew.

You started wondering if she chose that one because she knew you liked it and it made her think of you. Were you being delusional? Also, wasn't it too loud?

Oh, right. It doesn't bother her. 

You got in the laser tag maze enjoying the music,  taking a few man down cautiously so that Maya wouldn't find out you were there. You wore a mask in case one of them recognized you decided to tell on you, if they survived. You caugth her kicking their asses by the corner of your eye and almost ran to her, to tell her how great she looked while fighting, how you missed her and how much of a wimp you were for her. But that'd ruin your plans and instead of a heart-eyes Maya, you'd get broken ribs or a broken heart. Again.

The fight was getting fun but they seemed like ants around a sugarcane, always coming for more. Maya threw herself and one of those man through the wall and you felt the urge to kiss her. She fought all of them, with guns first and the with her own wrists. It made you gawk at her, your heart beating faster. You were flustered. She used the pistol wires as a whip and you moaned in your mind. "That's kinda sexy.", you thought, taking a mental note of how much of Catwoman she resembled. You'd tell her later.

The jacket trick got you biting your lip, and you almost aplaused her flawless aim.

But then Zane brought Boonie and you grunted. "Asswhole.", you mumbled.

They gathered again, around Maya and Henry, guns on their heads. But you were ready too. With your gun in hand and your eyes on them, it'd take Zane down with a buttlet to the head in no time.

 But his phone rang and his plans changed. And so did yours.

You watched Boonie leave and had to stop yourself from offering some ice to put on her face. Poor girl, getting punched like that for free.  When Maya went back inside, you made up your mind about what to do next. After tonight's events, you had to talk to her.

-

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[milkyetoile]

after this great post by @thesherrinfordfacility about Crowley and Aziraphale’s domestic, it got me thinking about the beautiful contrast between the relationships shown in season 2. it was such a great juxtaposition, a chiaroscuro in writing that seriously left me in awe and ruin, not just from what happened but for how the relationships were laid out in writing.

so here’s an essay on the romance in S2, written by your local arospec lesbian

Gabriel/Beelzebub

essentially, I think this was the “ideal” romance. two beings who were in high positions on opposite sides, having secret meetings to complain about their sides and then falling in love to Buddy Holly’s Everyday…there was an understanding at every meeting that they probably wouldn’t have reasons to meet anymore after they agreed, but they kept meeting anyway. they fell in love in the process until Gabriel placed his memories in the fly that Beelzebub gave him, after getting in trouble for not wanting to continue with armageddon't. and when the whole mystery was solved, they immediately agreed that they just wanted to be together and they did do that. they go off to Alpha Centauri to live happily ever after and both Heaven and Hell will probably leave them alone (probably).

I say it’s ideal because it’s like a movie or book romance. two people meet, get to know each other and fall in love, then conflict!! but once it’s resolved, they get together with a sappy ending. to be clear, I have 0 complaints with this, I’ve shipped them since s1 and they were cute in s2…but I also love how it was set up like the kind of romance both Aziraphale and Crowley were visualizing previously.

Nina/Maggie

this relationship was more realistic and healthier. Nina was in a horrible relationship with an emotionally manipulative partner (kinda parallel to Aziraphale’s experience with Heaven) and Maggie’s a disaster lesbian smitten with her. Maggie tries to make a move on Nina then finds out that Nina already has a partner, then Nina’s partner breaks up with her. then our two favorite idiots try to meddle and matchmake her with Maggie for the sake of the ruse. things go pear-shaped with them getting involved because Maggie wanted to help Aziraphale. but once everything’s done, Maggie and Nina actually talk about things and agreed not to start a relationship because Nina wanted to heal first after her breakup. and they agreed that after that, if Maggie was still interested (which she swore she would be), then they would try.

it was more realistic because they’re humans like us. part of what makes humans such pivotal parts of the story is that we have shorter lifespans that result in an “urgency” in comparison to the non-humans. striving for success, loving people–being on essentially a time limit motivates us to be a lot more direct and straightforward when the situation calls for it. humans have to grow to get what they want. and so, Maggie and Nina, as mature adults, decide to communicate properly and it ends with them not being together yet but having an understanding and being on the same page–a better foundation for romance than what Aziraphale and Crowley imagined for them.

Aziraphale/Crowley

this is the complicated, messy relationship with a generous heaping of unhealthy codependency and unresolved trauma. the slowest of burns, 6,000 years of knowing each other, and yet neither of them really talk. they’ve made some progress since armaggenah. they’ve both been more open in comparison to S1, they have been trying. but 6,000 years of dealing with their individual trauma plus being on opposite sides and needing layers of subterfuge and denial to even have a semblance of friendship…on top of that were the events of arma-fucking-geddon and the aftermath (which included COVID among other things, mind you)–4 or 5 years in comparison is nothing. they were just adjusting and getting comfortable in the new status quo…cranking up the engine, so to say. throughout s2, they both made assumptions about each other. they both clearly talk about wanting to be together but they had different ideas of how that would look like. they were on the same page for a mere sentence then ended up on different books altogether, so to say.

anyway, I’m losing my point bc it’s 5 am here and I’m finally getting sleepy…but it took them a time limit of the apocawhoops for their relationship to progress significantly. and another catastrophe plus a literal intervention from Maggie and Nina for further progress. then, when they’re finally completely honest about what they want between the two of them, it’s when they have two opposing ideas. and those said ideas tie back to their individual trauma and fundamental parts of their characters…honestly, as much as I’d love for them to end up together, they need time apart to grow, Heaven’s interference notwithstanding (looking at you, Metatron). ironically, Aziraphale says, “nothing lasts forever” yet their idea of forever is much longer than humans’ and that resulted in stagnation.

truthfully, I think this was also quite realistic. some relationships don’t work out due to various factors. you could find the person you’d be most compatible with in the world and still end up separating if you’re not emotionally ready. love is incredibly complicated and messy.

Final thoughts:

the ending of this season fucking hurts but honestly, I loved it. I personally love these kinds of stories. and the direction of those final scenes was just…*chef’s kiss*

I’ve rewatched that last scene with them at least 5 times already. am I a masochist? probably lol but seeing their minute expressions really digs in the knife more and I love it.

special mention to Michael Sheen’s acting during and after the kiss, like make it hurt more, why don’t you??

I really loved the juxtaposition and parallels between these relationships. beautifully done, I wish I could write like that. I didn’t think I could respect the phenomenal writers more but here we are.

if you need me, I will be spending the next few days rewatching S2 and reading and possibly writing fanfiction. we'll see.

[jerzwriter]

What's Forever For? Universe Miranda - Part 1

This fic is part of the What's Forever For? universe. For those who follow my T/C HC, their background is a little different here. A headcanon will be posted soon. 😊

Book:              Open Heart (Post Series-Alternate Universe)

Pairing:           Tobias Carrick x Casey (past)

Rating:            Teen

Warnings: Divorce, heartbreak, child coping with divorce

Category:       Angst/Short-Series/AU

Words: 3,050

Series Summary: Tobias & Casey signed the divorce papers. Feelings of guilt and fear of rejection kept both from admitting their true feelings... they didn't want their marriage to end. This short series will focus on how they move forward in the immediate aftermath of their divorce. We'll learn a little more about how they got here and watch as they try to move forward. It will take us from the night of their divorce to approximately 2-3 years in the future.

Chapter Summary: Tobias falls apart after his divorce is finalized. Casey does her best to hold herself together for the sake of her son. Two different women are there to help each of them through in different ways. It's night one of the beginning of the rest of their lives.

@choiceschallenge-may2023 | Breakup

This was not what she had planned this evening.

It was a cold and rainy night, even by New England standards. When the weatherman warned that it would feel more like winter was being ushered in than spring, he didn’t lie. After an especially tiring day at Edenbrook, a treacherous commute home was the last thing Miranda needed, but it made it even sweeter now that she was finally where she longed to be.

Her couch never looked so inviting, and she was sure her oversized grey sweatshirt and fuzzy socks never felt warmer. There was just one thing that could perfect this picture, she thought, as she pulled her long, chestnut brown locks into a messy bun atop her head… and that’s when her tea kettle whistled.

Her eyes shut as a content smile spread across her face, then she made her way to her tiny kitchen. She never stirring a dash of milk and sugar into her hot tea could bring her this much joy, but she wasn’t questioning it. Pulling her legs up under her, she nuzzled into her fluffy couch. The remnants of the cold that settled in her bones began to thaw at long last. Home. This is precisely where she wanted to be.

The image of that fleeting moment of bliss was still fresh in her mind as she hurried down a cold, dark Boston street. Her arms wrapped tightly around her body, as her coat seemed to be doing little to keep that cold from settling in her again. She saw the glow emitting from Donahue’s sign in the distance, and a mixture of relief and trepidation filled her.

“I’m almost there…” she muttered, unsure of what she was about to find.   

Her shoulders fell as she sighed with relief when she opened the door and saw him. As pitiful a sight as he was, she had imagined much worse. Reggie shot her a nervous grin in her direction as she quickly moved through the now empty bar.

“Thank you for calling me,” she said as she approached the reason her night was upended. 

She knew the bravado Tobias displayed when she called to check on him earlier was just that. But she never imagined he was sitting alone at Donahue’s, drinking away his pain. Looking at him, she was angry with herself. What kind of a friend wouldn’t realize and leave him to end up this way? But then again… it was complicated.

“I tried a couple of the guys first,” Reggie offered, halting his words when he saw Miranda had taken offense.   “But it appears they’re all on duty tonight.”

“Yes, they are. But I can handle this,” she insisted with a plastered smile.

He looked so pitiful and defeated… hunched over the very spot where he usually held court. But there were no stupid jokes to be told tonight and none of his boisterous laughter to follow. The smile that sometimes seemed ever-present in his eyes was hidden behind heavy lids, and his smirk… that smirk that just left her… well, yeah… that was missing, too. The Tobias she knew had been replaced by a man who had spent the better part of the night attempting to numb the pain he chose not to face.

Miranda had her own feelings about his divorce, and like so many other feelings, she kept them largely to herself. No matter how much she believed that the painful present would lead him to a happier future, her friend was hurting, and she needed to get him home right now.

~~~~~ 

Tobias was shifting uncomfortably on the very place Miranda found her refuge just hours before. It was no fault of the couch; comfort wasn’t something Tobias would find any time soon.

“You shouldn’t have to deal with this,” he groaned, his eyes shut tight to filter out even the dim lighting in the apartment.   “I’m not your mess to clean up.”  

“Hey,” she smiled as she assured him. “That’s what friends are for, right? I like to think you’d do the same for me.”

He didn’t have to say a word, for that answer was already known. Tobias had made bailing Dr. Miranda Barret out a side gig ever since he took the young intern under his wing at Mass Kenmore many years ago. She was so timid and unsure of herself back then, and the other interns smelled her blood in the water. Tobias went out of his way to help her see just how capable… how badass she was. And as Miranda continued to thrive, an unbreakable bond was formed.

Their friendship transcended the walls of the hospital. And one couldn’t blame her for hoping that one day they’d be more. He was a well-known physician who commanded respect. Charming, handsome, and oozing confidence… she had watched women far out of her league rendered speechless by him at a mere glance time and time again. Yes, he was a player, and she knew this was his game… but she was different. He showed her kindness, and his interest in her was pure, something she viewed with disdain at the time, but in the end, she was convinced it would be for the best. She wasn’t a nameless, faceless nobody who was here today and gone tomorrow. No, she’d be around for the long haul… and he wouldn’t be her attending forever.

She had to bide her time… enjoy the ride… she wasn’t ready for anything serious yet, anyway. But one day, things would be different. She was sure of it each time she saw him smile in her direction and every time someone mistook them for a couple. Yes, they’d correct them most times, but sometimes… they just let it go. Her residency would be over in six short months, and she was already dreaming up how she’d broach the topic of taking that next step until that night…

“Hey, are you going to the game tonight, Barrett?” his voice boomed from down the hall as he neared.

“Of course!” She gushed. “You know I never pass up a chance to see my favorite pitcher on the mound.”

“That’s my girl! And you’re coming out after, right?”

“You know it!”

“Good!” He smiled in a way she had never seen before, so relaxed, genuine… joyful. For a brief moment, she allowed herself to believe it as for her, until…. “Because there’s someone coming who I really want you to meet.”

“Oh?”

“I’ve kept it on the down low because, well… it’s out of character for me, I’ll admit… and I wanted to make sure it was real but… I’ve been seeing someone.”

“Oh… you have?” she deadpanned.

“Yeah, and I’ve been dying to introduce you. Her name’s Casey, and she’s a doctor at Edenbrook. You know I’ve never been a fan of commitment….”

“To put it mildly,” she smiled, trying to conceal the heartbreak she felt inside.

“Hey, be nice,” he chuckled. “Well, she’s changed all that. Miranda, I’ve never felt like this before. I’ve been dying for the two of you to meet. You’ll get along great; you have so much in common.”

“I’m… sure we do.”

“So, make sure you’re at Donahues,” he beamed. “It’s going to be a great night!”

“Miranda?” his gruff voice ushered her back to the present.

“Oh, yes,” she fumbled. “Sorry.”

He gratefully accepted the tall glass of water she offered, as well as the cool, damp rag she placed on his pounding head.

“This will have to do for now. I know your head hurts, but….”

“But I had a little too much to drink tonight,” he said with a wince.

“Yeah… you did. I thought you had Kyle tonight?”

“I did,” he sighed. “But when we left the courthouse… we were both so down, and Casey asked if she could stop by to see him. I knew she’d feel better if he was with her tonight, so I told her she could take him home.”

Despite his condition, he didn’t miss Miranda’s brow rise at his words. Tobias’s best wishes for the two women getting along never came to be, and arguments could be made on both sides as to why. But right now, he was grateful to Miranda for refraining from sharing her opinions about the woman he still loved desperately, despite divorcing her earlier that day.

“It was very difficult,” he defended without realization. “For both of us, it was really… hard… and I thought she….”

“Tobias,” she interrupted. “You don’t have to explain. Your marriage ended today, and someone who was your everything for over a decade of your life is now… if it had been easy, I’d have to wonder about you… both of you.”

“Thanks,” he half smiled, his eyes wincing with pain.   

“I wish you would have called me,” she whispered. “If I knew you were alone… the night didn’t have to be like this.”

“I’m not your problem,” he reiterated.

“You’re my friend,” she corrected again, mindlessly lacing her fingers with his. “You know I’ll always be here for you… don’t do this again, OK?”

Tobias smiled cautiously, squeezing her hand as his eyes began to shut. “I promise.”

“Now,” she said, adjusting a pillow on the end of her sofa, “why don’t you try to get some rest. You’ll wake up with one hell of a headache, but my hangover cure will be waiting for you.”

“Oh,” he said as he shifted to his side. “And what is that?”

“Well, you’ll just have to wait until the morning,” she teased. “T, before you go to sleep… is there anyone you need to let know … you’re OK?”

“I texted my Mom and told her I’m staying with a friend. And I called Kyle to say goodnight before so…” he began but drifted off to sleep before finishing the sentence.

“So you’re all set,” she smiled gently as she wrapped a soft fleece blanket around him. “Good night, Tobias.”

She turned around to look at him once more before leaving the room, quickly nixing the idea of returning to his side. Then, with a sad smile, she shut off the light and went to her room.

~~~~~ 

Brookline, MA

There was nothing like the scent of her little boy after he just finished his bath. And there was nothing that gave her more faith that she’d be able to move on… somehow… than the feeling of his little body pressed up against hers as he drifted off to sleep. Casey weaved her fingers through Kyle’s wavy brown hair, her soothing touch bringing as much comfort to her as it did to him.

The rollercoaster she was riding had taken her on twists and turns through every possible emotion today. And right now, she felt one she hadn’t expected to feel creeping up on her like a flower defiantly breaking through the pavement, Casey felt gratitude filling her soul. No matter how much her heart was broken or how many dreams she watched die…  this little miracle was in her arms tonight solely because she and Tobias had fallen in love. He was a living, breathing testament to what they had once shared. He was born of a love she thought would never end… and now she knew it never would.

Confident he was asleep, she began to pull away and retreat to her room, but she was only a few steps away when his little voice summonsed her back.  

“Mommy?” He mumbled.

“Yes, baby,” Casey replied, quickly returning to his side.

“How long are we going to stay with Gramma and Grampa?”

“I don’t know, sweetie, for a little while. Then you and I can find a nice new place of our own. We’ll make sure you have a nice big room and a nice yard, and it won’t be far away, so we can see them anytime you want.”

“And it won’t be far from Daddy, too, right, Mommy?”

“Of course, sweetheart. We’ll be sure to be close to Daddy too.”

“I miss Daddy,” he said in a soft voice that shattered the remnants of his mother’s heart. But he needed her to be strong, and she was intent on not letting him down.

“I know, Kyle; he misses you too. It will take us some time to get used to this, but I promise you, we’ll all be OK. You, me, and Daddy, too.”

“Promise?”

“I do,” Casey smiled so purely that the little boy had no option but to believe her.

“Good night, Mommy. I love you.”

Scooping him up in his arms, Casey held her son close, mustering up all her strength to conceal the tears that were aching to be released.

“I love you too, munchkin. Now get some sleep so we can get breakfast together in the morning like we planned.”

“OK, Mommy,” he smiled, and he was out like a light.

Casey’s breath hitched as she closed the bedroom door gently behind her. She had never felt more alone. Her parents were in their room just down the hall, and with a simple knock, she knew they’d be at her side; but she had already felt like she had imposed enough. She was a big girl, she had made her own big girl problems, and they graciously extended a parent's undying love to help her through, but she didn’t want to ask for anymore. So, she quietly tiptoed past their room to take refuge in her childhood bedroom.

She sat in bed for what felt like hours, though it had only been moments. Still silently berating herself for not telling Tobias her true feelings… but the papers were signed now… and they were over.  Fear kept her from confessing her true feelings, and now she’d have a lifetime to wonder, what if…  A big girl decision with big consequences, and now, they had no choice but to find their way to a new normal that neither wanted to embrace.

Her fingers ran along her phone case as she weighed the pros and cons in her mind. She wanted desperately to call him, yet it was also the last thing she wanted to do.

It wouldn’t hurt to let him know Kyle is asleep. To thank him one more time for letting him stay with me tonight, she thought. And as if it were ever a choice, her fingers were dialing the number into her phone.  Her heart longed to hear his voice and feared it at the same time. But that fear was never realized, and that ache never soothed.

“Hello?” A woman’s voice answered.

Taken aback, Casey looked at her phone, relief flowing when she realized she had dialed his house phone. Like her, he was temporarily staying with his mother. While she may not have Tobias’s voice to soothe her, Vivian’s was almost as welcome.

“Vivian! Oh, gosh, I’m so sorry… I meant to dial Tobias and, well… I’m not exactly myself tonight, and… I called you. I hope you don’t….”

“There’s no need to apologize, dear,” Vivian comforted.  “In fact, all things happen for a reason, and I’m so glad you called. I’ve been thinking of you but didn’t want to overstep. Are you… how are you holding up, Casey?”

Casey’s eyes clenched, nodding furiously as she sniffed back tears. Vivian offered her the mercy of pretending she didn’t hear, though deep inside, Casey knew she did.

“I’m doing all right,” Casey lied. “I need to be all right… for my son. Right? We’re all going to be fine.”

“Yes,” Vivian reassured. “It will be, I promise, it will.”

“I know,” Casey gulped. “I… I don’t mean to keep you, but is Tobias around? I just wanted to let him know Kyle is asleep and to thank him, I’m not sure how I would have gotten through tonight without Kyle here.”

“Tobias is already asleep,” Vivian covered, not for her son, but for Casey. They may not be married anymore, and she knew Casey was strong.  But everyone had their limits, and Vivian wanted to do all she could to offer Casey some sense of comfort.  “It was a rough night for all and….”

“I understand,” Casey jumped in. “I’m glad… I’m glad he’s asleep. Well, I should… I….” Casey couldn’t speak as another wave of grief washed over her.  A realization that should have been clear hit her like a ton of bricks.  Hiding her emotions was no longer an option.

“Casey, what is it?” Vivian implored.

“I just realized,” she breathed through sobs. “You’re not my mother-in-law anymore, you’re… you’re not….”

“Casey. Sweetheart, you take a deep breath, and you listen to me, OK? You are the mother of my only grandchild! You’re family, and nothing will ever change that.  Besides, when you were in that courthouse today, you may have signed some papers, but my name was not on them. You are my daughter-in-law, Casey, and that will never change… do you hear?”

“Yes,” she wept freely. “Thank you, Vivian; I couldn’t bear losing you too.”

“That’s not a worry you need to carry. Now, are you OK? Do you want to get one of your parents while I wait?”

“No,” Casey insisted.  “They are asleep.  They’re asleep, just like Kyle and Tobias, and I should be asleep too. Tomorrow is a new day, right?”

“It most certainly is, dear. When you bring Kyle here tomorrow, we can have a cup of tea if you like. But only if you want to.”

“I, I’d love that. I… I need your help, Vivian. I need to learn how to be friends with Tobias… just friends… and I… I need your help.”

“You and Tobias are already friends, my dear. I know that’s true. But yes,” she sighed wearily. “It’s going to be an adjustment for all. But I’m here and will help you both any way I can.”

“I appreciate that. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, my dear.  Now, please try to get some sleep.”

“I will.”

Casey closed her eyes, grateful that exhaustion finally closed the valve on all she was feeling today.  Tomorrow was a new day, and no one knew what it held, but she was confident of one thing… she’d make it through. Survival was guaranteed… but living? That remained to be seen.

Tagging in reblog.

[starry-eyed-steve]

I wish S4 explored Nancy and her tendency to isolate. It feels weird to keep yourself apart from the only other people who know about the Upside Down, yet we know that she never hangs out with the others (excluding Jonathan) outside of world ending scenarios. I wish we saw that reflected in her interactions with the group; have her fumble interactions with the kids and have no idea how to approach Robin and Steve. Have her know how to plan but not where she stands with anyone anymore.

I don't think it is weird for Nancy not to hang out with the majority of the people who know about the Upside Down.

If you look at the group, we have 3 people her age. One is her ex she had a very messy breakup with, next we have her ex's bff who seemingly comes as a package deal with Steve and then we have her current boyfriend who also has negative emotions towards her ex. If I were Nancy I would also only hang out with my boyfriend.

And then we have Mike and his friends, which are younger than her and she doesn't share the same interests with them. I doubt she sees her younger brother and the party as mature enough to hang out or discuss problems with. Which is fine btw, I have a younger brother and never in a million years would I want to hang out with his friends. It's no secret that the Wheeler siblings aren't close and I'm fine with that tbh it seems like a realistic depiction of a sibling relationship, or at least I can relate to it so it seems realistic to me personally.

So there are no other people that she could hang out with. After s1, she had both Steve and Jonathan because there was no weird history between them, but after her breakup with Steve, she only had Jonathan. Both Nancy and Steve are barely friends, like they weren't friends before they dated, and after the relationship, both were hurt by the other person, which made staying in contact difficult. And idk if Nancy would love to hang out with Robin if she would bring Steve back into her life, when she showed no interest to be friends with him before s4. Nancy never went out of her way to get to know Robin because idk it seems messy to befriend your ex's bff.

But in general, I don't think Nancy only had Jonathan. She seems to be the kinda girl who can keep school friendships. Like she was fairly popular in the school paper. She had two off-screen friends that were mentioned in s2 who she was close enough to have sleepovers with, without Karen being surprised by it. So, to me, she can make surface-level friendships, but as soon as school is done, she won't contact them anymore.

I also think after her split with Steve and her getting together with Jonathan, her reputation greatly suffered. Like dumping the popular guy to get together with the school creep just looks bad. On top of that, Tommy and Carol would spread the nastiest rumors about her and Jonathan, like it was already teased a bit in s2. I would have liked to see the aftermath of it. What do her friends say? How does she feel about that? Does she develop an even stronger us against them mindset with Jonathan and thus isolate herself further?

But again the reason why she doesn't hang out with the people in the UD group is the messy history she has with her ex and in extension with her ex' bff who are together 24/7.

I agree with you. I would have loved to see Nancy struggling with finding her place within the teen group at least. That would mean to acknowledge the complicated feelings she has towards Steve and Robin and vice versa. But we don't have time and there are bigger things to worry about. But if she were the driving force to befriend Robin, the pay-off would have definitely been better than what we got. It would have ensured that Robin didn't act out of character, and it would give Nancy more depth and room to grow as a person.

I don't think she would fumble her interactions with the kids, like they hung out when she was younger and the kids like having her around in s3. I think if they would question her authority because she sees herself in charge, then I think there would be problems, but the kids mostly listen to everything she has to say. They admire and respect her, so really, I don't think the kids are the problem. And because she sees herself as the older sibling, she doesn't expect them to check up on her between seasons. She doesn't see them as her equal because they are younger and she wants to protect them, but that doesn't mean she would love spending time with them outside world ending scenarios. Only if she truly has to. She has her own life and interests.

[the-judicial-assistants-notebook]

okayokayokay. for the shipping asks. it is my moral duty to ask you about feenris <3 (and also krisnix if you want to do two of them)

HELLO, KATE, MY DEAREST FAVOURITEST PERSON 💖💘💗💝💓💝♥️♥️💓💖 I will do both, thank you for indulging me <3

Feenris:

THEY! THEM! <333! Honestly, I could keep talking about them forever and ever because! There's so much to their relationship! But I've talked about them A Lot, so I'll just explain the boxes I've ticked fdhdkfh

(I said I wouldn't talk a lot, and then I did wSJSKDH it's all under the cut)

The love at first sight was for me, btw. Like, I saw Iris and decided, yep, this is the ship I get obsessed over. Her power. Anyway, most of these are self-explanatory but I think I'll explain the 'complicated' boxes.

I've said this before, but I think they're always going to be a little bit in love with each other (and know it), even though they won't reignite their relationship. (Although, if Capcom did a 180 and decided they were going to be a thing, I would jump on that so fast. Thematic and narrative inconsistencies be damned; I am a hypocrite) I think they've both entertained the idea of starting over at least once, but it's just too messy. Like, although their relationship wasn't built on lies, there was still A pretty substantial lie involved. Add that with the fact that it's inevitably mixed with Iris's complex feelings about Dahlia and the pain from BttT on both sides, and you get Maybe We Shouldn't Be Together Actually. That's why they got the 1/2 on the normal, healthy relationship because, at their core, they really are sort of soulmates!! And that's what makes this all worse!!

I think they could make it work, but only after they've both made peace with everything that happened on their own. Like they need to think things through without the other person around first, and then talk things out. Right now, though, them getting together would just feel like they're both having some kind of coinciding mid-life crisis. It just wouldn't work for me hskdhd

Only reason they didn't get the 'in specific situations' box was because I realised that it's less a situational thing and more a characterisation thing for me? The candy-floss fluff Feenie describes their original relationship to be, while cute, doesn't really do much for me. But if you take the Frankenstein version of their relationship which I've pieced together from one (1) sprite parallel and a few of their interactions in BttT, where it was something that had to be built and has a foundation of pure, deep understanding of one another, then I'm all over it. And it's the same with their post-breakup relationship for me. I don't want a rehash of what they had before; I want a complicated but real relationship that acknowledges what happened, isn't afraid to confront it and move forwards. IF they were to get back together, which I don't think they should. I'll admit that I do maybe want them to be together forever and ever and ever, but they're one of those ships that I think would fall in love with each other in any universe regardless (no matter how those end), and in this one, I think the best case scenario is for them to move on with other people while still having that extremely strong romantic-platonic bond between them. It's complicated and a bit strange, but I feel like it's a non-threatening bond. They love each other, they always will, and it's because of that love that they won't pursue anything further than a deep friendship. Idk, I just want them to be happy, and I think they deserve to be happy with each other still in their lives!!! Is that so much to ask!!! Is it, Capcom!!!! I'm wailing!!!!

Krisnix:

Ohhh, my God. Ohhhhhhh my GODDDD.... Where do I even begin with Krisnix. They're like a. Umm. 'I would take a bullet for you just as readily as I would pull the trigger' pair to me. I gave them a half on the 'is it even shipping anymore' box because I feel like canon does pretty much state that they were... idk what they were, but there was definitely something going on between them, but any acknowledgement of this from canon would damage me irreparably. They're canon, but I Don't Want to Know, I Do Not See 🙈 HSKHSKDB

Krisnix to me has, like, weird parallels to Feenris. WHICH IS REALLY ODD, BUT LIKE. It's this. Wanting. Of someone who is kind (although Kristoph was probably faking it 95% of the time) and gentle and so, so beautiful and who understands, when you're so damn lonely. It's about Phoenix having too much love in his heart and looking for it in all the wrong people (with Dahlia rather than Iris in their case), because he has friends! He's just dumb about them sometimes, which leads to him going for people like Kristoph and! The weird thing is that! I think it was real!! In a weird way!!!

I think there was some kind of maybe not quite love, but the murmurings of it at the edges of this strange psychosexual obsession they have going on, and I think neither of them wanted to acknowledge it. Because Phoenix isn't stupid. I'm sure he knew that Kristoph wasn't all that he was making himself out to be, but he ignored it because Kristoph was kind, and present, and smart and comforting and gorgeous and attentive when Phoenix was the opposite of being even presentable at times, both physically and socially. And with Kristoph I think it's like. I think he knew? Subconsciously. That Phoenix didn't completely buy his act, but there was this... assurance, in that fact. Like Phoenix was probably the closest a person ever came to seeing through his genteel, put-together facade, and Phoenix stayed. It's breathes of acceptance, even though Kristoph probably doesn't realise that that was what kept him staying with Phoenix. There's a nice little lie he can rely on to tuck away the truth that he likes Phoenix Wright in a way; that lie that he's just keeping an eye on him so Phoenix doesn't get to close to the truth. And if that lie occasionally leads to dinners, and real laughter, and conversations that brush the edges of who Kristoph is beneath the mask... if it leads to him not keeping his hands off Phoenix, then, well... it doesn't mean anything. It's all a lie, after all.

Idk idk. I think they were weird sort of friends and that line Kristoph says in jail about Phoenix's friendship never being true lives in my head rent free because like! What if he meant it?? What if it actually hurt??? Even though he didn't want it to!!!! They're just, they're so! Strange! I need to know everything about them, but I don't want to!! I just have to!!! And you know how I said Feenris will always love each other, and that's a comfort to them? I think Krisnix is the opposite. I think they'll always sort-of-not-quite-love each other and hate themselves for it. I think they never wanted this, and they're both still trying to get themselves out of it, but each struggle, each attempt at release, just has the noose going tighter and tighter until, one day, it's going to break. And, when it does, I want to be there to see what happens.

[redwineconversation]

Amandine Henry Statement (April 26, 2023)

Love is complicated and breakups, especially when the relationship has been going for 15 years, are always going to be messy. As I said yesterday, this relationship between Lyon and Amandine Henry is really cool and complex because they have been a part of each other's lives for so long. To truly understand what's happening I think you just have to look at it as, well, a really messy breakup where both parties blame the other.

Henry's statement is very well written and she comes across very well, but there are some things to keep in mind: (1) Henry doesn't mention the conversation between Bompastor and her back in January about how Lyon was one of the options; (2) Henry has played in all 19 games she has been eligible for, starting 16 of them (with the way her statement is written, you would think she has had virtually no playing time); (3) she fails to mention that she had tried to force a move to Chelsea last summer. (Grammatical pet peeve - I hate exclamations marks in general but especially in a statement. Stop yelling at me and just say what you need to say).

Henry talks a lot about all the terrible things Lyon is doing to her and it just reminds me a lot of the SBG saga where it turned out that a lot of it was ... exaggeration, and that there were deliberate omissions from SBG's part.

Do I think she would have extended and retired at Lyon if given the opportunity? Yeah, I think she would have. But I also think she doesn't want to. And maybe we should talk about that, too.

Finally, lovely day outside. Maybe some of you should read this translation while taking a walk.

AMANDINE HENRY STATEMENT

Hello everyone,

I've read a lot of things on my sporting situation these past hours, some true and some not so true... I would like to clarify some things on my part.

It is true that nothing having had an offer from Olympique Lyonnais to extend with this club with whom I have accomplished so much more than beyond my wildest dreams, and with whom I could finish my career at, I allowed myself to ask the Board of Directors if they would allow me to leave early, a request granted by the club after the cruel defeat to Chelsea.

Contrary to what I have read, the reason I made this request is because it was made clear to me that the club no longer counted on me, neither to finish the season nor to finish my career!

It was also made explicitly clear to me that if the club wanted to keep me, it was essentially for the image presented to the sponsors and to our opponents, without really having the intention of making me play.

Beyond the fact that decision made me sad considering the 16 extraordinary years I have spent at Lyon, I thought it might be better to quickly terminate my contract as to join a new project as soon as possible, and to give myself every opportunity, perhaps, to wear the French National jersey once more.

Nonetheless, I want to reiterate that even though I was disappointed by it, I understand and respect the club's decision to keep me through the end of my contract!

Concerning my actual status, and even if I shouldn't have to justify myself as it concerns my private life, I would like to emphasize that this sick leave is indeed for personal reasons and in no ways related to any sporting decisions.

If I felt obligated to respond to what I have heard today it is because I am being depicted as somebody I absolutely am not! Words are being used to describe my actions (demand, impose, refuse to play, wanting to leave quickly) which absolutely do not reflect me as a person and are far from the truth.

I believe I have always displayed professionalism and integrity towards my coaches and the few clubs I have played for... The amount of time I have been with Lyon being proof of my loyalty and fidelity.

I will finish by saying that I hope nonetheless to be able to rejoin my teammates soon in order to help them to the best of my abilities achieve the last two remaining objectives of the season, winning the League and the Coupe de France!

I wanted to stay quiet about my personal situation in order to not affect them [her teammates], and more importantly the employees at the club who work on a daily basis to give us the best possible conditions to perform each weekend, during a season so difficult for our club.

I would like to thank, finally, the people who voiced their support, it's extremely touching and comforting in this personally and professionally difficult time.

[luvth0t]

MAKE UP ━ D.R

in which picking up your stuff to say goodbye doesn’t go quite to plan

warnings; NSFW, smut smut smut, kinda toxic daniel but it’s okay cause it’s hot, choking, unprotected sex oOps

having put this off for almost a month, you thought you’d be more prepared to see your ex boyfriend for the first time since you both called it quits. a messy breakup meant no contact after you stormed out of his home, a few days later him flying off to austria for a triple header.

while you were sure he was consumed with distractions, you were left to cry and over think your heart out. where did you and daniel go wrong? trust issues was what you had narrowed it down to, although really it was just the long distance, insecurities and lack of communication from the both of you.

a shaky breath left your lips as you knocked at his door; that familiar feeling in the bottom of your stomach as your throat dried up. you were here to pick up your stuff, as he was finally back from austria. and you knew that this would make it all real, your three year relationship done.

“hey, come in,” daniel spoke awkwardly after swinging the door open. instantly the male felt the tension, so use to being easy going and minimising the awkwardness with anyone and everyone; this was definitely out of his comfort zone.

unlike you he had no time to process this breakup, apart of him hoping he’d come home and things would be like they were a few months ago. another part of him hoping he’d get back and never have to see or talk to you again, that’d be much easier. for both of you.

clearing your throat, you shuffled inside; not allowing your eyes to gaze over him too long. his hair was messy and he was dressed in casual attire that could almost be his pyjama’s. he looked good. he always did. which was never an issue till now. neglecting the idea of him made the past few weeks much easier.

“thanks,” you mumbled; running a hand through your hair. “how was austria?” you decided to ask. the last time you spoke it was a screaming match; and you had no intent of recreating that. which had even caused a sigh of relief to leave his lips, civil it was.

although the small talk was foreign to both of you. the last time you both involved in small talk with each other was the awkward first date all those years ago. “yeah it was fine, just getting use to the car.” daniel shrugged off, biting the inside of his cheek. it all starting to feel a bit more real now. you nodded, and parted your lips to speak, but he was quick to talk first. “can we just… talk about all this?” he huffed out.

daniel wasn’t one to bullshit, and not addressing the elephant in the room wasn’t going to happen. which you knew deep down, but it didn’t make it any easier. “i don’t think there’s anything else to talk about.” you mumbled, not meaning to come across so blunt. but talking would just complicate things further, talking was what you were afraid of when coming here.

“that’s bullshit and you know it.” the brunette muttered as he ran his hand over his face; leaning against the wall behind him. “this is a bit extreme, we haven’t even discussed any of this calmly or thought about it.” he tried to reason, feeling as if his words were letting him down. and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes.

“it’s been a month daniel.” you stated shortly and raised your eyebrows. a month since you ended things.

“yeah okay, but i was away-"

“and i wasn’t. my personal life doesn’t also get put on hold when you’re gone. it’s been a month. i’ve thought about it. more than just thought about it.” you were quick to interrupt him, before letting out a breath; scared you had snapped. although it needed to be said. he knew it to, his face having dropped slightly. almost as if realisation had hit him, that what you’ve been trying to explain for the past few months now finally made sense. all too late however.

“i’ve thought about it too. we still haven’t discussed it.” he tried to reason softly, pushing himself off the wall; a sympathetic look dancing on his, beautiful, features. he wasn’t going to just let you walk out this time. well, would try stop you at least.

“you could’ve called if you wanted to discuss it.” you huffed, watching as he got closer; and not moving back as he did so. which was probably your first mistake. having avoided eye contact the whole time having been here, you finally allowed your eyes to find his, which were trying to read you currently.

“you’re here now,” the australian spoke with a half smile; allowing his fingers to brush some of your hair from your face. which had your breath caught in your throat for a fraction of a section, however you regathered yourself quickly. your hand finding his, pushing it away lightly.

“i’m here for my stuff.” you reminded him, swallowing the lump in your throat; watching as his face fell. a breath leaving his lips, which fanned your face lightly. would it be easy to just kiss him right now, forget about everything and immerse yourself in the pleasure he could so easily provide you? yes.

but you’ve done that before, hence the consistent arguing. because sex somehow became the not so effective solution. and you didn’t plan on letting it happen again.

“if you plan on just walking out that door and then never seeing me again. never hearing from me again and never having to think about me again. you’re wrong.” he muttered; ignoring what you said, eyebrows raised slightly in curiosity to see if he had predicted your intentions correctly.

his words had caught you off guard, it almost being annoying how easily he could read you. could he not just let you grab your things and leave. “you don’t know that.” you scoffed, however your voice was not holding the confidence it did minutes ago. you knew you couldn’t just walk out the door and forget him, you didn’t want that either.

“go on then,” he shrugged; his face somehow only inches away from yours now, his eyes holding a somewhat intense stare. a tempting one. “i can go grab your stuff right now, and you can be on your way. no need to wast time.” he offered, having ducked his head afterwards; his lips tantalising close to your neck. “or you can stop being so damn stubborn, and just talk to me.” he concluded, pressing one light kiss to the skin of your neck before lifting his head back up.

any strength or confidence you had was well and truely out the window, which was definitely pathetic in your eyes. but the second his lips had touched your skin you knew how this was going to go. that this time was no different to any of the others. you didn’t want it to be. which was an issue in itself.

without much warning you closed the gap between the two of you, pressing your lips to his in a needy passionate kiss. which was instantly returned as his large hands found your waist; backing you up against the wall almost immediately. the fact you’d spent four weeks apart unwillingly wasn’t helping the situation.

you could’ve sworn he chuckled against your lips as your hands found the back of his neck; fingers tangling in the ends of his curls lightly. his hands which were roaming your body was enough to let it slide, tilting your head to deepen the kiss; getting lost in the feeling of his hands on your skin.

when you both finally pulled away from the kiss, you saw it as an opportunity to potentially think this through. should you be doing this? should you be grabbing your things and making a run for it? however those ideas were gone when he started sucking at the sensitive spot at your neck, dragging a soft moan from your lips immediately.

he knew your body like the back of his hand and prided himself on it, he knew what you liked, what got you going. how to have you a shaking squirming mess beneath him, and he loved it. just as much as you did. “you can still leave if you want,” he smirked against your skin as he kissed down your neck; being sure to leave marks.

“shut up.” you breathed out, head leaning back against the wall as you watched him kiss down your chest: neither showing any signs of stopping. which caused his hands to find the waistband of your sweats as he moved his lips back to yours.

kissing him back, you were well aware of his hands which crept under the material of both your sweat pants and underwear; cool fingers finding your clit with ease, being quick to start rubbing small circles. causing your grip in his curls to tighten slightly.

it wasn’t a surprise he was rushing to please you, well aware how crazy you could go over his fingers. and it didn’t take long for the pleasure to build, letting out a small moan against his lips which had him smirking, his other hand cupping your jaw lightly.

“oh fuck,” you muffled out when he slid a finger inside you, daniel wasting no time in sliding it in and out of you, while his thumb remained on your clit; rubbing circles, making it harder to stay quiet.

another moan left your lips as you started to struggle to kiss back, one of your hands moving to grip his bicep; having felt him enter another finger. both moving in and out at a fast pace. “take my fingers so well huh? barely even started baby.” he muttered out with a smirk, which had you letting out a whine. he had pulled away from the kiss to focus on your reactions.

a month without sex was a big change to you and daniel’s usual pretty active sex life, so it wasn’t surprising he was getting you off so quickly. considering you hadn’t been touched in so long. your own fingers did not compare to his in the slightest.

“fuck daniel,” you moaned as you attempted to squeeze your thighs together, him being quick to insert his knee between your legs to keep them spread, your back still against the wall.

the sound of his name coming from your lips never got old, and had him growing hard himself. “you think anyone else gonna be able to please you like this huh?” he questioned, his fingers picking up the pace, curling at the right time and his thumb still rubbing away. only being met with a few small moans from you, he was quick to grab your chin and still his fingers suddenly. telling you he wanted an answer.

“no- fuck no," you quickly moaned out; eyes looking up at him as your hips bucked against his hand. “just you-fuck, only you.” you added; stumbling over your words ever so slightly. he didn’t bother to hide his smirk at your words, the fact he knew it was true as well. and you knew it too.

“mhm, only me baby.” daniel confirmed as his fingers began moving in and out of you again; proud of how quickly he could get you like this. you definitely boosted his ego that was for sure. although your effect on him wasn’t to be underestimated, he was hard just from seeing you like this and hearing his name amongst your pretty moans.

it didn’t take long till your legs started to shake beneath you and you felt that familiar feeling build in your stomach; orgasm approaching quickly which showed when you unwillingly clenched around his fingers.

“gonna cum for me?” daniel hummed with his usual cocky smirk, his hand moving to grip your throat with the perfect amount of pleasure, which was enough to do it for you. his hand around your neck had you weak within seconds.

a moan mixed with a hum of agreement was all that left your lips, feeling the cold of his rings on your skin as his other fingers stayed at there fast pace; bringing you over the edge; daniel ensuring your eyes remained on him as you did so, which pulled a groan from his lips.

“fuck daniel,” you moaned out as you came down from your high; head leaning back against the wall has his fingers slowed. it wasn’t long till he had you by the thighs, hoisting you up onto his waist; your arms wrapping around his neck; him not showing any signs of slowing down for you to recover.

“gonna fuck you now, that what you want?” daniel asked as he carried you towards the couch, you still being focused on catching your breath; you could only nod as he sat down; moving to straddle him. the second his hands had left your thighs he had his fingers on your chin again. “words doll, use your words.” he demanded, quirking an eyebrow.

“yes.” you were quick to breath out, biting the inside of your cheek as you stared back at him. if he hadn’t just driven you to an orgasm you would’ve snapped back at his cocky request for you to speak. “wanna ride you,” you added in a small mumble; which only caused his smirk to grow.

“say please,” he chimed cockily, his hand releasing your chin and moving to hover over your waist lightly, watching as your face dropped to a small glare.

say please? is he kidding. you knew he wasn’t, he’s had you begging multiple times. which shouldn’t be surprising with an ego like his.

“i’m━” you parted your lips to speak, to shut him down. but he was quick to beat you.

“ah,” he interrupted; raising his eyebrows again. his hands moving to play with the waistband of your sweatpants, while your hands were busy playing with the hem of shirt and grazing over his tanned skin.

“please,” you huffed, pushing some of your hair out of your face. he seemed unconvinced, so before he could speak your hand found the obvious bulge in his grey shorts, being quick to palm his hard on. which definitely caught him off guard as his smirk was quick to fall, hearing his breath get caught in throat.

“good enough,” he breathed out; before moving to tug your sweatpants and thong down your thighs. it only being a few moments later that majority of both of your clothes were discarded around you two. without you falling off his lap somehow.

“mhm, fuck,” you moaned as you lowered yourself down onto him; his hands hovering over your hips lightly as he watched you intently; moaning himself when you were finally wrapped around him.

after a few whimpers and moans you were moving your hips; riding him with ease like you have done so many times before; gripping onto his shoulders to steady yourself as you did so, head falling back.

“just like that baby,” he encouraged as he watched you, groans leaving his lips as he held a tight grip on your hips, leaving you to do the work however. a few seconds later moving to prop his hands behind his head to simply just watch you.

and the sight of that had you moving your hips quicker. maybe walking out on him could’ve worked if he wasn’t so damn attractive. he just knew you too well, especially how to get you turned on.

“my god daniel,” you spoke; continuing to rock your hips back and forth. the big house filled out with the sounds and echos of both your moans.

it didn’t take long for daniel to get impatient and want to touch you again, his hand moving to the back of your head; fingers tangling in your hair before tugging you forward to bring your lips together again.

the passionate kiss speaking for itself; you couldn’t see yourself with anyone else. not like this.

your hips started to slow, which he picked up on, moving his hands to grip your hips and started to bounce you himself on his cock; which had your pleasure hitting another level.

for the second time today you struggled to kiss back, breaking the kiss as your head fell back; more whimpers and moans leaving your lips as you felt your second orgasm fast approaching. “‘m close,” you warned him in a breath; which only had him picking up the speed.

“oh- daniel,” you moaned his name as you quite suddenly came undone on his cock; which had him groaning too as you clenched around him. your nails digging into the skin of his shoulders and eyes rolling back.

“good girl,” he groaned as he watched you, extremely close himself. having you clench around him bringing him over the edge as he came inside of you. his hands lazily moving you up down on his cock as you both rode out your highs.

“fuck,” you mumbled, resting your forehead against his shoulder; trying to regather yourself. after a few moments of comfortable silence you felt his fingers in your hair lightly.

“i’m sorry… i should’ve called or something,” he muttered out, his fingers twirling and running through strands of your hair. you couldn’t help but let out a small breathless laugh, lifting your head.

“we’re not having this conversation while you’re inside of me.” you told him, raising your eyebrows. while admiring his current state, messy hair; slightly swollen lips.

he couldn’t help but chuckle slightly, a small grin forming on your lips too. “that means you’re staying for dinner then.” he shrugged with a hopeful smile. and you nodded, moving to rest your head on his shoulder again.

“only if you’re paying.”

━━

thanks for reading! pls feel free to give feedback, this like my first time writing in years so it’d be appreciated! <333

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!

[multimetaverse]

HSMTMTS 2x08 Review

Most Likely To was the best ep of S2 so far and ended one ship while launching another. Let’s dig in!

Gaston was super fun, a very nice showcase for both Larry and Matt. This is the kind of energy that early S2 was lacking. Also feels like the first ep where East High might actually have a shot at beating North High. Covid restrictions played a role but we really needed to see more rehearsal scenes and scenes of the wildcats just being theatre kids. This also may be one of the last times we see EJ perform as a student in the musical so I’m glad we got this.  

EJ has been criminally underused for most of S2, he’s marketed as part of the big 4 along with Nini, Ricky, and Gina and Matt Cornett’s name is listed 3rd in the credits but in the early eps of S2 you’d think he was guest star. Lately he’s started to become more important and tonight was an excellent showcase of why he’s such an interesting character. I’m not gonna check but this feels like it’s the most EJ screen time in a single ep that we’ve gotten all season long. 

Of course, the main reason for EJ’s increased screen time is because of Portwell. I’ve been neutral on them but tonight they really won me over’ their scenes were so sweet that they warmed even my cold black heart. Matt and Sofia are good friends irl and that shines through in their easy rapport and great chemistry. Gina snorting at EJ’s joke was cute and I loved the shot of Gina accidentally walking into the shot for EJ’s confessional. As an aside, they’ve been doing some fun stuff with the confessionals lately which helps add a bit of the metaness that helped make S1 so great.

The real big Portwell scene tonight was EJ and Gina talking on the couch at Ashlyn’s. Lot’s to love there. Gina’s speech to EJ about what she sees when she thinks of him was sweet and her saying that EJ tried to do the right thing and often failed but kept trying echoes what she said of herself during her confession to Ricky. Also when EJ asked Gina if she understood the feeling of having her life mapped out she replied, ‘’not really’’ which is almost certainly the inspiration for Gina asking a question to EJ and him responding ‘’not really’’ in their pre S2 face time call on the hsmtmts instagram. 

EJ is still wracked with guilt for the guy he used to be but Gina reminds him that he’s grown and is a good guy which leads to her slip up about her seeing him that way vs the rest of the gang hinting that she’s beginning to catch feelings for EJ. Which leads to EJ complimenting her and them having a moment that could well have led to a kiss if Ashlyn hadn’t come home. And they cap it off with Gina falling asleep and EJ covering her with his Duke sweater. 

It’s been nice not seeing Gina upset over Ricky these past two eps and it’s a damning indictment of the poor writing and pacing of S2 that her story in the first 6 eps can be summed up as Gina being upset over something Ricky said or did. Not only has Portwell allowed EJ to rise in prominence but also it’s allowed Gina to escape the rut her character was stuck in pining for Ricky. 

I hope after S2 is over that we get an interview where Tim explains how the Portwell plot came to be. The S1 finale set up some possible interest between them as did the pre S2 face time call but nothing came of it during the first 4 eps, they stood next to each other a lot but barely interacted otherwise. Notably in 2x01, which Tim himself wrote, EJ tries to grow a beard and tells Ashlyn that he says her as so young which is extremely jarring now that we know that EJ is crushing on Gina who is Ashlyn’s age. 

Was Tim not set on doing Portwell until he realized he needed to give Gina something else to do other than hopelessly pine for Ricky? Narratively, it made sense after Rini got together in S1 to put the other two Big 4 characters together in S2 but did Tim not want it to seem so obvious to the audience so he deliberately kept Portwell apart until 2x05 where EJ’s feelings make for a nice plot twist? Was he just reluctant to plug EJ back into the love square due to how much more complicated it would make things but later felt he had no other options? Or was it just plain old bad pacing and writing?

Of course, I wish that there wasn’t such a large age gap between Sofia and Matt but there are no Gina ships that avoid that problem, there’s also an age gap between Sofia and Joshua, just as there was between Olivia and Joshua and Matt in S1. Depending on when they film S3 there’s a good chance that most of it will be finished before Sofia even turns 18 which is deeply unfortunate. There’s a broader issue of teen girls being cast in mostly age appropriate roles while their male love interests are older adults and in particular it often affects female characters of colour. Netflix has a really bad track record with those kind of age gaps but Disney has problems too as we’ve seen on HSMTMTS and on GMW where by the end of S3 they had 18 year old Peyton Meyer as the boyfriend of 14 year old Rowan Blanchard’s character (not to mention canon Joshaya which didn’t have such a bad age gap between the actors but was problematic regarding the ages of the characters themselves).

A knock I’ve seen on Portwell is that EJ is just gonna leave for university next year but that was never gonna happen, Matt’s under the same 4 season contract as all the other mains and he’ll be sticking around in some capacity much like Sharpay ended up doing in the movies. It is true that EJ will probably have to move on at the end of S4 while Gina still has her senior year left but that will also happen with her and Ricky since he’ll be graduating at the end of S4. It was a big mistake to make EJ a senior but it also may end up being a big mistake to make Gina a sophomore. It would have been too messy to retcon EJ to be a junior but Tim probably should have taken the chance to retcon Gina into being a junior in S2.

That Rini breakup was so sad (missed opportunity for gotta go my own way). They managed to get in a Troyella reference with the treehouse. This was inevitable they just have not been communicating well though now that we know that Ricky thought Nini left YAC for him some of his desperation to spend as much time together as possible makes more sense. I think Rini is endgame if the series has 4 seasons but it wouldn't shock me if we never seem them dating again and they only get back together in the series finale. It also wouldn’t surprise me if Nini never dates anyone else for the remainder of the series or at least not seriously. 

We’re not even halfway through the series so it’s way too early to permanently slam the door on Rini though this time apart will probably help Joshua and Olivia move on from their own bitter break up before it bleeds too much into their performances. I do wonder if Tim really has a clue what he's gonna do with them for the remaining 24-28 eps of the series, assuming S3 and S4 have 10-12 eps each. 

Roman Banks killed If I Can’t Love Her and the montage of all the couples or ex couples was great.

It was nice to finally meets some parents other than the Bowen’s and Salazar-Roberts’. Kourtney’s mom was played by Dara’s actual mother and their dynamic was great as expected. It seems from their conversation that Kourtney's father is dead which I don’t believe has been mentioned before. Cash Caswell.... well it gets what the character is about across. He really looks and sounds like a rich Utah republican, I bet he knows Mitt Romney personally. I liked EJ going to tell his father that he’s not going to Duke and recognizing that he wants to build his own life on his own merits. 

We saw a bit of that S1 Miss Jenn energy tonight which was fun though I didn't like how curt she was with Seb nor did I like how rude Carlos was to Seb although we know that blows up in 2x10. 

Jazzara rising! I really liked how Jazzara and Portwell are sort of mirroring each other and since Mazzara knows about EJ’s feelings for Gina it wouldn’t shock me if helping EJ out is part of him showing a softer side in 2x12.

Of course Ashlyn is VP of the Nostradamus society. It's clear her family has some kooky new age beliefs (her parents are probably members of some naturopathic medicine group on Facebook that doubles as a gateway into Qanon)

It was nice to see Big Red being such a good friend to Ricky and the return of Ricky’s infamous pillow hugs. Lmao at Ashlyn just chilling while Big Red is comforting Ricky

Also Miss Jenn saying sexy and Big Red referring to pillow talk, the writers are adding a bit of spice when cooking up these scripts.

Looking Ahead: 

Looks like Gina may be wearing EJ's duke sweater next ep according to some posts I saw. Jack presumably is there to somehow help Gina decide what she wants with Ricky and EJ though him having wanderlust might also feed into Gina’s thoughts on settling down in SLC or moving with her mom around the country.

Let's see what mom of the year, Lynne Bowen, has up her sleeves. Ricky’s bedroom at her place in Chicago looks much nicer than the apartment Mike Bowen has so perhaps she makes a lot more money than he does. 

Not looking forward to the Zoom portions of the ep but I guess it was inevitable. 

There’s only two paths for Gina’s story to go in the remainder of this season; either she decides to move on from Ricky and give EJ a chance or she decides that Ricky is worth trying again and squelches her budding feelings for EJ. The former looks much more likely after tonight’s ep but either way it needs to be handled with care. Inevitably Gina and Ricky need to talk about what happened between them but if Tim really wants Ricky to continue being a viable love interest or even a good friend to Gina then he needs to really have Ricky apologize and show a thoughtful, kinder side of him that’s largely been missing this season. 

What I think Tim is doing is setting up Portwell getting together in 2x12 but Ricky pining over Gina until Portwell break up late S3 and Rina get together in the S3 finale before they break up later in S4 and Ricky gets back with Nini near the end of the series. If I had Tim’s ear I would tell him that he should pick which ship he wants to do, Rina or Portwell, but don’t do both. He wants canon Rina? Great then end Portwell before it starts and have Rina happen in S3 and introduce other obstacles to them getting together rather than having to damage EJ’s character and make him lose another girl he likes to Ricky. He wants canon Portwell? Great then have Gina and Ricky’s conversation be closure for the both of them and have Gina and EJ get together and break them up without Ricky being a cause of it or waiting in the wings to get with Gina soon afterwards. Doing both will be a disaster and I truly hope that Tim Federle carefully thinks over his mistakes in S2 and really plans out the remaining 2 seasons of the series while there’s still time to prevent things from going really off the rails like GMW and AM did thanks to the bad decisions of Michael Jacobs and Terri Minsky. 

Until next week wildcats. 

[whumpingcrow]

Ink Poisoning - Chapter 1

Introduction

Surprise! A new story, new characters, inspired by all the lovely authors of tumblr who do BBU or WRU writing :) enjoy!!

CW: BBU and everything in relation to that, drugs/alcohol, party themes/setting, plane mention, college setting, breakup mention, tattooing/tattoo shop mentions (let me know if I missed anything!)

Nicko and Salem had never really been too close. They lived a few houses away from each other in high school, had some of the same classes, and were tied in with the same friend groups. They were friends, as much as you could be friends with someone you only hang out with cause they’re close by, but not close by any means. Salem felt a certain way about Nicko, he always had, a way that told him to keep himself a safe distance from him. Maybe it was his recklessness, the way he did awful, often mean, things seemingly on impulse, just because it popped into his head and he wanted to follow through. He was unreasonably harsh and manipulative and just attractive and charismatic enough to not suffer the repercussions.

Because of this, Salem wasn’t really entirely sure how he had ended up living with the kid in his last two years of college. Both him and Nicko had gotten into the state college and were both art majors (Nicko was in visual arts and Salem in music), so they had been around each other since they both moved into the dorms as smooth faced freshmen. Nicko was on the football team for the first year and a half, then he got kicked from the team. At that point he hadn’t spoken to Salem for a while, so he never figured out the real reason why. He heard gossip, that Nicko was caught doing drugs, that he had slept with the coach’s daughter, that he’d been fighting, but it was impossible to know if it was the truth. On one hand, Salem wouldn’t exactly be surprised if it was something like that, but on the other hand he didn’t want to believe that he was that bad. After that, he focused on his studies. Salem saw him around campus working in sketch books or on a canvas, sometimes he would show up to a class covered in paint and tired, like he’d been working on something all night. He was also doing an internship at a tattoo shop, he got paid a lot to stab people with needles, and he genuinely enjoyed it. Plus, Salem had seen some of the stuff he’d made, and he certainly had talent, even though he was sort of a dick.

During that time, freshman and sophomore year, Salem was pretty preoccupied in his own respects, so these were the only things he really knew about Nicko. Those two years had been difficult, looking back on it he was surprised he was able to pass all of his classes with what he had going on. There was a messy relationship, horrible breakup, and he used it mostly to put into his music. He wrote some of his best pieces about it, so in a way he was thankful. He was better off now, anyway.

Now, he and Nicko lived together off-campus, along with three other art majors who neither of them knew too well, but rent was cheaper with more people and they were easy enough to get along with. School was almost over, it was their last stretch of their senior year, and things were good. Salem’s future was looking promising, he’d already been speaking to different producers and composers who he’d been set up with by his teachers, as soon as he graduated he would have enough saved up to buy his own place, closer to where he would work, on his own. Life was so simple, Salem was happy and hopeful and for once, things made sense. He just had to get through winter break, then the last few grueling months would crawl by, and then he would be free.

But then winter break came and went, Salem went back north to visit his parents, and when he got back things suddenly got...complicated.

Nicko would insist over and over again to Salem that they had “talked about this!” and he tried to persuade him by saying “you said it could be cool!” every time they talked about it afterwards. Salem told him that bringing it up as a concept while they were getting drunk after midterms was not talking about it.

What happened was someone had read an article somewhere, maybe it was from a click bait thing on Instagram or a frightening news article on facebook, and had brought it up while they were all throwing back beers before they went out to their own respective parties. It was about something Salem had only heard hushed whispers about online, he wasn’t even sure how legit it was because of how rarely he heard about it: boxies. The word made him cringe every time one of them threw it out drunkenly, like it was something cute. If what Salem had heard about it was true, they were essentially criminals who were brainwashed (or trained, as they liked to call it to sound more appealing) instead of taking another sentence. Box Boys, Box Babes, they had more gross marketing names, all involving a box. Supposedly it was because they were notoriously shipped to you conveniently in a box right to your front porch, as if they were an Amazon package. Yes, living human beings stuffed inside of a box and left on your porch, just waiting to be let out so they can start doing whatever it is they’ve been retrained to do. And somehow it was all completely legal, if you did it through certain companies.

So, that’s what they’d been talking about, when Salem looked back on it, all he remembered from the conversation was something like:

“Dude, how the fuck is owning a boxie legal at all? I was just reading this article and-”

"Those are like, those servant things you order online or whatever? I've heard about those, I think."

“That’s not the point, Nicko. I’m talking about how it’s fucking crazy this is allowed.”

“I think it’s cool. I mean if it were me I’d rather get to live in a house as like...a maid or whatever than go to jail. Jail sucks. I dunno, I think it’s cool. What about you, Cobain?”

Salem hated when Nicko called him that, he’d been doing it since freshman year, when one of Salem’s songs was suddenly being passed around the school in a youtube video he’d forgotten he’d posted. Nicko told him that it was edgy, that he sounded like Kurt Cobain. That would have been fine, Salem really wouldn’t have cared, if Nicko hadn’t personally told him before how much he hated Nirvana, how the music sucked. So every time he used the nickname it was patronizing, a little stab at him.

Still, Salem merely looked up from his laptop, he was probably checking back on his flight information for going back home, maybe checking to see if his test scores were posted yet, and scowled at him. “Yeah, Picasso, I think that owning a person is super cool.” He’d been sarcastic, obviously so, and Nicko knew that.

And still, here he was, telling Salem that he’d “agreed” to getting this boxie. Salem would disagree every time, and Nicko would just roll his eyes and shrug his shoulders and he would get away with it. He was always getting away with shit, it was really starting to piss Salem off.

The day Salem got back from break it had been snowing. The drive back from the airport was stressful, it was late, Salem just wanted to go home and sleep. Going back to the town he grew up in was draining, sometimes. It reminded him of complicated times and hopelessness. He wanted to forget all about those feelings, things were going good, he could be hopeful now, and going back home made those feelings a little...muted, for a while. So he figured he’d go home, get into bed, sleep it off, and get back to being hopeful in the morning.

Only he couldn’t do that, because of course Nicko was having a party. He usually called it “having people over”, because he was trying to be an adult now and that’s what adults usually said, but when it consisted of beer pong and body shots that didn’t seem like the right term. The lawn was covered in cars, so was the driveway, so were both sides of the street directly outside. Salem had to park halfway down the block, get his suitcase and guitar, and walk down the street. To his own house. He wanted to break Nicko’s face.

When he walked into the house, the air was thick with smoke and reeked of pot and sweat and booze. The living room was mostly empty, Salem could see from the front door that almost everyone was in the kitchen playing some sort of drinking game or outside. The house was a mess, almost all the lights were off so Salem couldn’t see the full damage yet, but he could tell that he wasn’t going to like it when he did. He shuffled into the house, kicking away cups and bottles as he walked past them. Part of him wanted to just turn around and get back in his car and drive far away, never come back and never see Nicko or this shitty house again. But he had to stick to his plan, he had to play it safe here.

“Salem!” He snapped his head up, in the direction of the voice, sighing when he saw it was Nicko’s girlfriend, Aurora. Or Rory, as most people called her. She had dyed her hair a bright, shocking blue since Salem had last seen her, if he remembered correctly she had it a pale pink before. Her makeup was dark and heavy, like it usually was, making her eyes look all that more intense and striking. Except for right then, because she was very obviously high, her eyes hooded and lazy. She was sitting on the couch, a boy who looked a lot younger than her on his knees right in between her legs. He looked even more fucked up than she did, glaring hard at the floor and swaying slightly as she raked her fingers through his messy, dark hair. As Salem approached them, the kid flinched away from him and snapped his eyes up to look at him. He didn’t pay too much attention to him, too distracted by his anger. Rory had to shout over the music just a little when she started talking again. “I was wondering when you were gonna be back! How was your tri-”

“Where the fuck is Nicko?” He interrupted. His hand was tight around the handle to his guitar case, he could feel his heartbeat in his closed fist.

Rory gawked at him, then her crimson painted lips turned up into a lazy smile and she laughed. “Wow, someone’s in a mood,” she teased, “why don’t you have a drink? Calm down.”

“Don’t tell me to calm down, Rory. Tell me where he fucking is!”

Rory turned her attention downwards, toward the rough looking boy on the floor in front of her. Salem followed her gaze, realizing that he was now shaking, pressing his thin frame against Rory’s leg like he couldn’t get close enough. He was looking at Salem’s shoes, his face twisted up in a nervous frown. Rory instantly leaned close to him, hands on his cheeks and lips against his jaw, saying something in a real low, soft voice. She was calming him down, soothing him, Salem noticed, because he had frightened him.

Salem realized, then, how angry he sounded, shouting and cursing, and he sighed to himself. He decided he’d be better off just going to bed, putting in earplugs and waiting until the morning to deal with the problem. It’s not like he’d really be able to fight Nicko anyway, he was so much taller and he’d been on the football team and honestly Salem just wasn’t equipped for fighting. So he turned away from both of them and made his way down the hallway, to his room. He locked his door and set his things down, then he promptly stripped down to his boxers and got into bed.

The next morning, Salem was surprised to wake up to a clean, quiet house. He walked down the hallway, expecting at any second to see all of the trash pushed into a corner somewhere, he didn’t think Nicko would have cleaned up himself, unprompted. But it was clean all the way through, and he was impressed when he walked into the living room and saw Nicko, decked out in all black clothes and black boots, relaxing on the couch with his keys clutched readily in his hands, like he was leaving. He was speechless, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he approached him.

“Morning, sleepy head,” Nicko teased, tilting his head back and looking him up and down, “how was your trip?”

“Uh...good.” Salem answered, voice still gruff from sleep.

“Morning, Salem!”

He turned to see Rory standing there in fishnets and an oversized hoodie, dramatically tall heels wrapped around her ankles, making Salem wonder how she was standing straight. One time, when Nicko was busy doing an art piece or working on school work, he couldn’t remember now, she and Salem had been in the kitchen alone and Rory told him that she liked to wear tall heels because Nicko likes when she’s short and it entertains her to bother him. She said the best part of her day sometimes is irritating Nicko.

Behind Rory, standing with his head dipped downwards and his shoulders slightly hunched, was the same scared looking kid from the night before. He was allowing Rory to pull him along by his wrist, focusing on his shiny black boots, ones that he looked rather unsteady in, like he wasn’t used to tall shoes. His thin, oversized black tee shirt hung off of one boney shoulder, showcasing a few tattoos up on his collar bone and neck. They looked fresh, like they were healing. After Salem scanned the rest of his body (why was he wearing shorts and a tee shirt!? It was snowing outside!), he had healing tattoos all over, scattered every few inches. Were they all new? Salem didn’t know much about tattooing, but he didn’t think that was safe.

Salem didn’t realize he’d been staring at him, silent, until Rory cleared her throat, redirecting his attention to her. “He’s cute, huh?” She smiled, smacking her gum at him. “Nicko picked out a good one.”

“I...What?” Salem muttered.

“Our boxie,” she explained, holding his limp arm up in the air and waving it a little, making the kid flinch hard, “You were looking at him. Isn’t he precious?”

Now, he was shrinking in on himself more, looking rather embarrassed and ashamed, his face hidden mostly by his floppy hair. Salem frowned at him, then at Rory, then at Nicko, who was smiling smugly.

“You didn’t.”

Nicko laughed at him, and thus began the famous “You said it would be cool” argument. Salem was so shocked in the moment he wasn’t able to form a proper argument, so Nicko took both Rory and the boxie out the door and into the snow with him.

So that’s when things got complicated. Well, not necessarily right away, but that was the thing that kickstarted it all. It was a total snowball effect, where one bad thing happens and it just gets worse and collects more velocity and severity the longer it goes on, until it’s huge and it can’t be stopped and it flattens a poor snowboarder or a small city. Salem had to finish school, he had to start living his life and building his career, he didn’t have time to worry about huge snowball problems. That could ruin everything, all of his hard work and pain would have been pointless. All because Nicko decided to get a fucking boxie.

[ladycatofwinterfell]

Consequences, part 2

Catelyn and Ned decided to walk different ways after their relationship of three years, for good reasons. Ever since that Catelyn have kept a secret from him. When she one day, ten years later, decides that she should tell him they meet for the first time since the breakup. It takes them no time at all to fall back into old habits. The problem is that Ned is married, and that Catelyn is still keeping that damn secret. The only thing they can be sure of is that actions have consequences.

This feels incredibly messy, but I hope it’s worth the read. Enjoy!

“Mom!” Robb called from the kitchen.

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“Did you have a guest here?”

Catelyn froze. What exactly had Ned forgotten? Whatever it was she would have to return it, and that wouldn’t exactly work with his wife. That goddamn wife. Catelyn knew she and Ned shared the blame for what had happened, Ashara was just the victim, but still she felt annoyed by her. She knew that she was terrible for it, she had stolen Ashara’s husband and did only feel a little bad about it. The thing was that things would have been so much easier if Ashara had not been there. She was in the way.

”Yes, why?”

Robb came into the living room with a piece of paper in one hand. He came over to the couch, sat down next to her and handed it to her. There was a phone number on it, and a short note. How had she not seen that earlier?

I know what we said, but if you change your mind... you just need to call

Love, N

“What does it mean, Mom?”

Damn him. Tempting her. Teasing her. Dangling the carrot right in front of her nose and begging her to take it. He wanted it, but he needed her to make the next move. Was it to make him feel better about cheating on his wife? Did he think he would have no blame in doing it again if it was she that contacted him?

She hated herself a bit for wanting to. She hated herself for that she immediately thought of sending him a message. Why couldn’t she let him go? Why was she so sure of that he would be in her bed again before the end of the coming week? And in that moment she decided that she wouldn’t. He was the one cheating on his wife, if he decided that he wanted it to continue he would have to make the move.

But she wanted it. She craved it so badly that she thought her heart would stop if she couldn’t see him again. But it was better if she didn’t. A lot better. So she wouldn’t. Not in the near future, at least.

“It’s nothing.”

“Who’s ‘N’?” Robb asked curiously.

She watched him, raised a hand to his cheek. She wanted to say so many things to her poor little son who had grown up without his father. And had now found something from him. He had held a not written by his father. But he would never know that.

“It’s my friend. It’s a joke” Catelyn told him and ruffled his hair.

“I don’t get it” Robb said puzzled and smoothed out his hair.

“You don’t need to.”

She paused for a moment and looked down at the note, written in the familiar handwriting. When they had been together all those years ago he had left little notes for her all the time. She wondered if he had remembered that when he had written down his number and left it in her kitchen. She hoped he had.

“I’m just going to to throw this away, be right back.”

She walked with determined steps towards the kitchen, opened the trash can, and... did not throw away the piece of paper. She looked at it, let her eyes follow the neat letter that was Ned’s handwriting. She wouldn’t call him. She wouldn’t. Never. Absolutely not. But she could keep the note. It was the only thing she had from him. Except for Robb. But he didn’t know that he had given her that. And if she continued seeing him she would have to tell him eventually, and she couldn’t do that. She just couldn’t.

She shoved the note into a pocket and walked back into the living room where Robb waited.

“Have you done your homework for Monday?”

He sighed dramatically.

“Yes, why do you keep asking?”

She smiled and sat next to him again.

“Just to be sure. So can you tell me everything about the first King of Winter?”

~*~

“Hi, honey, how did it go?” Ashara smiled when he came inside.

What was he supposed to say? “Ah, yes, it went very well, I got back into bed with my ex from ten years ago”? His relationship with Catelyn had always been complicated and would probably always be complicated. There was no idea in trying to explain it to someone other than Catelyn, they wouldn’t understand. In the moment, when she had sat there and told him to kiss her, it had seemed like the only reasonable thing to do. He knew it was not. But even as he looked upon Ashara, he couldn’t regret it.

“Not very well. She wouldn’t talk about it, and she was acting strange. She definitely won’t come back, I honestly don’t know what she was doing” he said.

He hugged her and kissed the top of her head. Felt a bit of disappointment over that it was not Catelyn’s head leaning against his chest. He had wanted to stay with her longer, but he had already been there for too long.

He loved Ashara. That wasn’t a lie, it was true. Or at least it had been true before Catelyn. No one would ever be able to compare to her. His Cat.

“Was she weird ten years ago too?” Ashara asked.

It was meant as a joke. Something to lighten the mood. But still Ned couldn’t quite take it as one. How could she say such a thing about Catelyn? She didn’t even know her!

“No. She wasn’t” Ned said shortly and pulled away from his wife so that he could take off his shoes.

Because that was what she was. His wife. He had been with her much longer than he had been with Catelyn. They had a son. The brightest boy in the world. He had been very happy with Ashara for years. Then Catelyn had came back and turned his world upside down, suddenly he didn’t know anymore. And he couldn’t even be angry about it, because it was the best thing that had happened in a long time. He had missed her, even if he had not admitted it to himself.

“She wasn’t just a friend, was she?”

She didn’t sound angry, or accusing. Just curious.

“She was a friend, that’s all.”

It would be better if she didn’t ask questions. It would spare a lot of feelings for both of them.

“It’s okay, you know. You don’t have to lie about that.”

Maybe she would stop asking if he admitted to that.

“Fine. How did you know?”

Ashara smiled and rolled her eyes.

“You’re so oblivious!”

She stepped close to him again and laid her arms around his neck. Without thinking of it he pulled her close again. His wife. He did love her. He did.

It had been sweet, so very sweet to be with her again. But he agreed with her. it would be better if they kept it a one time thing. Perhaps they would be able to do it that time. If they just tried hard enough. He loved Catelyn, he always would. And he didn’t want to let her go, he wanted to hold her close to him forever. He wanted to look at her smile until time stopped. But they couldn’t see each other, it wasn’t good. It had to be a one time thing. And he decided it would be. No matter if she messaged him, it was over.

“Women can tell those things” Ashara whispered. “The way she smiled when she saw you, it was obvious. I wonder what she wanted.”

“So do I.”

“I love you.”

He loved her back. At least he thought so.

“I love you too” Ned said.

Catelyn had said that too, that she loved him. But her voice hadn’t been as soft as Ashara’s. She hadn’t sounded happy about it. Well, she had no reason to be. Nothing good would ever come out of their love. And why was he telling Ashara he loved her when he actually wasn’t sure?

~*~

“So, what’s happening?” Cersei asked and raised her coffee to her lips.

It was barely coffee, if Catelyn was going to be honest. More cream and sugar than anything else. Catelyn drank her coffee black, as she always did. She could feel herself get nauseous just from looking at Cersei’s monstrosity.

“Too much” she replied. “I’m in a bit of a crisis.”

“And what does that mean?” Cersei smiled.

Catelyn paused for a moment, unsure of if she could tell Cersei or not. But she had to talk about it to someone, she was going mad. She didn’t have to tell Cersei everything, just a bit. Just something.

Catelyn leaned a bit over the table and lowered her voice a bit so that no one would hear her. Not that she believed anyone wanted to listen to her, but she wouldn’t say that loudly in a public cafe.

“It means that yesterday I had sex with a married man.”

Cersei practically spat cream all over the table. She just stared at Catelyn for a moment, then she started laughing. And Catelyn had never felt worse.

“I didn’t think you had it in you!”

“I don’t, it was very stupid. And I won’t do it again.”

“Was he any good?” her friend giggled. “Because if he was you should go for it.”

“What? No! Did you even hear what I said? He’s married.”

“Yeah, but how good can his marriage be if he comes to you?”

That made Catelyn stop for a second. They had not talked much about it, except for the fact that he was married. And that his wife’s name was Ashara. She had asked him if he loved his wife, he had told her that he thought he did. What did that mean? Was he unsure? Was his marriage already going downhill without her help? How much did he want to be with Ashara when he wanted to be with her too?

“It was great” she sighed. “But not worth it.”

She thought of the note on her bedside table. She had looked at it for so long the night before that she remembered the number on it. She had wanted to send him a message, had even typed in the number and began writing her message, only to delete it. He was with his wife, she couldn’t risk anything. And it wasn’t the right thing to do, they were supposed to keep away from one another.

“In what way is it not worth it?” Cersei asked.

She wanted to explain how it was a bit like drugs. If she kept on taking it, she wouldn’t be able to stop. But she couldn’t do that, because Cersei didn’t know that it was Ned. For all she knew it could be some random guy Catelyn had met once.

“I don’t want to be someone’s mistress. If I’m going to be with a man I want to have have all of him, not just a little bit.”

That would be torture if she continued to see him. She would always be reminded of that she could only steal him away for an hour here and there, but she would never have all of him.

“Someone needs to explain casual sex to you, gods” Cersei said rolled her eyes. “It’s good, you should try it.”

“I don’t have time. I have my son, and my job. And if I’m going to make time for it, then I don’t want it to be with someone who’s married.”

Well, she did want it to be with someone who was married. She wanted it to be Ned. But she didn’t want it to be casual sex either. Why did everything have to be so complicated and confusing? Why couldn’t she just be in love with someone else, like a normal person?

“But it was great, you said it yourself. You should keep doing it until you find something better.”

The thing was that she would never found anything better. Nothing was better. She had found the only thing she wanted and she couldn’t have it and it was driving her mad.

“There is nothing better.”

Cersei just shook her head, but then her eyes grew wide.

“It’s Ned, isn’t it?” she asked. “You’re seeing Ned again.”

There was no use in denying it, was it?

“I’m not ‘seeing’ him. We met once.”

“And you fucked.”

“Yes. But it means nothing. And you need to promise not to tell anyone.”

That was more or less a complete lie. It had meant everything.

“I promise. And Cat, sweetheart, take this the right way, but it never means nothing with you two. You both want it. So why stop?”

“Because I shouldn’t be sleeping with married men. No matter how I feel about the man in question.”

“Why not? You’re free to do whatever the hell you want.”

“Yes, but entering an affair might not be the best idea, Cersei.”

Some stupid part of her brain immediately started speaking of that she had technically already began the affair. It was not a question about whether she would enter an affair, because she had done that already. It was a question about whether or not she would let it continue.

“I had the time of my life when I had an affair” Cersei stated.

“And now you no longer have a husband!”

“So what? I can do whatever I want now. And you can too. If you like it, do it, there’s no one to stop you, honey.”

“What about his wife?”

Cersei laughed again.

“Screw the wife, he likes you.”

When Catelyn got back home her head was spinning with questions once more. What if Cersei was right? Maybe she was just supposed to go for it? Why did she care so much about doing the right thing? It didn’t matter. As she had said, she had nothing to lose on it. She didn’t care even a bit for Ned’s wife, she was mostly angry over that she had taken Ned.

Why was she lying to herself, she did have something to lose. She could lose Ned. And the thought of that made her chest tight. If she kept seeing him she would have to tell him. But she also couldn’t stay away.

But the note had said to call him if she changed her mind.

I know what we said, but if you change your mind... you just need to call

Love, N

She had changed her mind. Completely. She wanted him. Whatever the prize was, she didn’t care.

There was still another three hours until Edmure would drop Robb off, she had some time to kill. Earlier the same day she had been irritated over that Edmure stole Robb from her as often as he could. He had no kids of his own, him and his wife had been unlucky on that part, but he wanted them desperately. And so he took Robb a day almost every weekend. But at the time it was a relief. No one was in the way for her. Maybe someone would be in the way for Ned though.

“Screw it.”

She picked up her phone, typed in the number. Then she took a deep breath and put in the message.

Is it next time yet?

She sat on the couch and rested her head in her hands. All she could do was to wait. And hope that she wouldn’t regret her decision.

Oh gods, she was really pathetic. Throwing herself at a married man. Well, at least she could comfort herself with that that married man was equally pathetic.

~*~

Working on a Sunday was not among Ned Stark’s favorite things to do. But duty had called and he had been forced to go to the company to deal with a matter that had turned out to be irrelevant. Sometimes he hated his job. They had been at the park with Ashara’s mother when they called him and he had been forced to leave a very disappointed Jon with his mom and grandmother.

As he stood in the elevator down he picked up his phone to call Ashara and let her now that he was on his way back. But just then it buzzed and a message appeared on the screen. From an unknown number.

Is it next time yet?

Catelyn. He had thought about that all night. Even as Ashara had been snoring softly next to him, he had not been able to push away that little part of him that just waited for Cat to message him. It was terrible, and he was well aware of it. But he had not been able to leave her apartment without giving her a way to contact him without coming to his house. They had said there would be no next time. It was a one time thing. But apparently it wasn’t. Ned really wasn’t surprised.

He had the option to not answer her. He could ignore it and go on with his life. That would be better for everyone. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t leave her like that.

It’s only been a day, he responded as he stepped out of the elevator and into the lobby.

He stopped and waited for her answer. He had the perfect opportunity, he had an excuse. Ashara would think he was working. That stuff could sometimes drag out for hours longer than what was first intended. She wouldn’t suspect anything.

It’s been too long, don’t you think?

She had him hooked with that, and she probably knew it.

I’ll be with you in 10

And with that he put his phone away again and left the building. It was just a short walk to where she lived, no need to take the car.

When he reached the porch to her apartment house and went inside Ned realized that he had not paid Ashara a single thought since the first minute. What was he doing? Why did he care so little for his wife? And for his son. He was supposed to be with his son. But knowing that Cat waited for him just three floors up seemed like the most important thing in the world in that moment. He couldn’t resist that. His Cat. Gods, he was selfish. What did any of them see in him? He didn’t know.

He climbed the stairs as quickly as he could and knocked on her door. She opened it almost immediately and smiled when she saw him. For a moment he was stunned by the sight. Who had given her the right to be so lovely?

“I like the tie” she said as she let him inside and locked the door behind him. “Why so fancy?”

“Oh, I’m coming directly from work” he said.

“On a Sunday?”

“Unexpected things happen quite often.”

He had been about to say that it was an unfortunate thing, but he couldn’t make himself think that when it had lead to that he could see her.

“That’s why you could come here, isn’t it?”

“Yeah” he admitted.

She sighed.

“This will be the last time.”

He didn’t want to stop. He knew it was the only right thing to do, but he didn’t want to not be with her. And he had a suspicion of that it definitely wouldn’t be the last time. They had said that the day before would be the last time, and there he was.

“Really?”

She snorted, suddenly looking annoyed.

“I don’t know, because as you put it so beautifully, we’re weak” she said. “But this is my way of coping with that I’m in an affair with a married man. I tell myself I won’t do it again.”

That was what they were. An affair. He wanted them to be much more, but they couldn’t. It would never end well. Even if he split with Ashara, it wouldn’t work. They had never quite worked together. But still none of them could walk away.

“I’m sorry.”

“So am I. And now, I need you to say with me that this will stop after today. Because it will stop. We can’t continue, because you are married. You have a wife, and that wife is not me.”

“Yes. It will stop after this. This is the last time.”

It would be the last time.

“Then you’ll go home to your family, and we’ll forget this ever happened and move on.”

As she said it she came close to him and began undoing his tie with skilled hands. Like she had done it a thousand times before.

They had done terribly on that last part. It had been ten years and apparently none of them had moved on. He had thought that he did. For very long he had thought that he was over her. But apparently that had not been true.

She sounded like she really wanted it to come true. And he wanted it to come true too, but at the same time all he wanted was to have her.

“Okay?” she asked, stopping for a moment to look at him.

“Okay.”

He raised a hand and took the clip that held her hair in a bun so that it fell down her back. It had such an amazing color, he could look at it forever. She reached up and kissed him, wrapping her arms around his neck. Without hesitating he laid one arm around her waist, pulling her to him. She gasped slightly into his mouth at it and the sound sent shiver down his spine, made him tingle. She broke away slightly.

“You shouldn’t be here” she whispered, her face just an inch from his.

Her breath was hot on his face, and her body was pressed against his. All coherent thoughts had left him. He just wanted her. Wanted to touch her, wanted make love to her.

“I know. But I am here. And I want you.”

He slid a hand under the edge of her shirt and drew a small circle on the soft skin of her lower back.

“I’m yours.”

~*~

She wasn’t supposed to enjoy it. But she did enjoy it, very much. It was the last time, she had promised herself that. And she would keep that promise and keep herself away from Ned. That time she actually would. But she would make that last time count.

They were slowly making their way towards the bedroom, stumbling over things on the way. Why did she have so much stuff? She would have to get some of that away.

“You’re beautiful” he murmured as he pushed her back on the bed.

Her shirt had come off somewhere, she had not idea where. But she sure did not miss it. Her skin was burning wherever he touched her, she could feel herself get hot. And she never wanted him to stop because she had never felt anything so wonderful.

Ned kissed her neck, drawing moans from her as he undid the buttons of her jeans. And she wished he would do it faster, but he took his time. Teased her.

And the next moment the doorbell rang. Both of them stopped. Who was it? There were still more than two hours until Edmure would drop Robb off, and she wasn’t expecting anyone else.

“Don’t stop” she finally said, and Ned happily did as she told him.

But only a moment later they were interrupted again by the obnoxious ringtone of her phone. She closed her eyes and sighed deeply. What did someone want her? Couldn’t it wait an hour?

She leaned up, caught Ned’s lip in one final quick kiss and then she picked up her phone from her bedside table. Edmure.

“Yes?” she asked, unable to keep the irritation out of her voice.

“Why are you not opening the door?” her brother asked.

Oh fuck, were they back already?

“I– damn it, just give me a minute.”

“What are you even doing?”

Edmure sounded almost amused and she wanted to punch him.

“That’s none of your business!”

She hung up and tried to contain her anger. Why could she not have that? Why was the world acting against her. It had been so good for five minutes, of course it couldn’t go on. Maybe if they just were happy they would be able to stay away from one another. Apparently that was what the universe demanded.

“I’m sorry” she said, and she had never meant anything as much as she meant that. “My brother is here with Robb.”

Ned frowned. Her first instinct was to raise a hand and smooth out the wrinkles, but she kept her hands to herself.

“That’s not very good.”

Was he thinking of his wife? Of what would happen if she found out about it?

“No. I won’t be able to sneak you out.”

He chuckled.

“Well, it was fun for as long as it lasted.”

“He won’t tell anyone, I can make sure of that. But he’ll know you’re here. You can’t just sit in here until he leaves. Because then you might have to stay until sunset.”

“I guess meeting your brother is the prize I have to pay.”

She walked out of the bedroom while buttoning up her pants at the same time. She found her shirt on the floor, pulled it over her head. It was as good as it could get.

Ned’s tie laid on the floor just in front of the door. She looked at it for a moment before picking it up and walking back into the bedroom with it. She tossed it at Ned and then walked briskly back to the door.

“Are you not alone or something? Why didn’t you open?”

“You really shouldn’t be asking questions, you’re very early” Catelyn said. “Hey, sweetheart. Was it fun with Uncle Edmure?”

Robb was smiling from ear to ear.

“We went to the aquarium! They had a really cool fish there, it was huge! I’m telling you, Mom, huuuuuuge!”

She chuckled and ruffled his hair.

“You’ll have to tell me all about it later. Now, go wash you hands.”

Robb did so without a fight.

“So what if I’m not alone?” she hissed at Edmure. “I thought I would have the afternoon free.”

Edmure grinned.

“Oh, are you finally getting some? I was starting to believe you had decided to go celibate.”

She smacked the back of his head.

“Ow!”

“Well, if you keep showing up when you’re not supposed to I will have to do it. Because thanks to you, my dear brother, I’m not getting some.”

“Where is he?” Edmure said curiously and looked around her.

“He’s going to leave now” she said just as Ned came out.

“Hello, Ned” Edmure said, grinning again.

Ned avoided eye contact.

“Hello, Edmure.”

Just then Robb came out of the bathroom. He stopped and stared at Ned.

“Are you my mom’s boyfriend?” he asked, as if that was the most natural thing in the world to ask someone.

Ned just coughed and Catelyn could feel herself blushing like a maniac. Why, Robb? That had been the worst thing he could have possibly said. Why couldn’t he have asked for his name, like a normal kid?

She looked between them and suddenly a realization hit her in the face. That was the first time they met. Robb was seeing his father, Ned was looking at his first son. And they didn’t even know it. Only she knew. In a better world they would have known, and Robb wouldn’t even have asked that question, because the answer would have been an obvious ‘yes’. Of course his parents were together, what a ridiculous question.

“No” she finally said. “He’s not my boyfriend.”

“Why not?”

For so many different reasons. He already had a wife, among other things.

“You can’t just ask people that, Robb” she said.

“I think it’s a very valid question” Edmure said.

Catelyn had to resist the urge to smack him again.

“I’m trying it teach him some manners, you are not helping.”

Ned took that opportunity and ran with it.

“You’ll have to excuse me” he said and walked past them. “I need to leave.”

And so he disappeared out the door without another word. He needed to go to  his wife and his son. The other son. Catelyn was not going to lie to herself, that did hurt.

“I knew you’d end up back together sooner or later” Edmure said as she made coffee for him five minutes later.

Robb sat in the living room, distracted by the TV.

“We definitely won’t” she said shortly.

She didn’t want to talk about it, she wanted to forget it ever happened.

“Why not?”

“He’s married, Ed. So I would really like it if you didn’t tell anyone you saw him here.”

Edmure was quiet for a moment. She wasn’t looking at him, but she could imagine that he was staring at her.

“Oh my gods. You really are too much sometimes, Cat.”

“Thanks, you too.”

[brooklynislandgirl]

💖 either, both, neither lol all good!

Dream a Little Dream || Accepting

Pools of Sorrow-Waves of Joy|Anikeni

HOW LIKELY THEY ARE TO ENTER A RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM:

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

If she wants to be poetic, Melakeni would say that they share a soul within the force and were staggered in their embodiment so she could get a head-start in learning the things she would need to know; kindness, mercy, compassion, understanding, and patience. She would say that every step of her life has brought her closer to Anakin and there was never a time that they were not one with each other. Keni would say a lot of things, if only she could do so without fearing for Anakin, for them being separated, from a host of fears that she does her best to suppress. It is sufficient and understood whenever she tells him she loves him, or even merely sends the weight of her love to comfort him through the Force.

~*~

WOULD THEY…

MAKE THE FIRST MOVE? Yes | No Neither of them is actually certain who made the first fumbling and innocent moves toward the other, save that it likely had something to do with the games they played, the things they read and explored with one another, and just the blossoming of two young people who have been together more or less for more than a decade.

SAY “I LOVE YOU” FIRST? Yes | No

It was defensive. Reactionary. He'd been surprised when she agreed to something likely foolish and absolutely dangerous, and when he asked why, her response was simple. "...Because I love you." Or perhaps it was softer, quieter still when she flung herself into his arms that first time she thought she'd lost him to one of his master's missions and he held her close. "I will always come back. I love you." Maybe both are the truth. CHEAT ON THEM? Yes | No BE THE JEALOUS TYPE? Yes | No PLAN THE DATES? Yes | No INITIATE THE FIRST KISS? Yes | No REMEMBER ANNIVERSARIES? Yes | No ~*~ BOLD WHAT APPLIES: THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS: friends to lovers | rivals to lovers | enemies to lovers | still just enemies | mutual pining | star crossed lovers | old married couple | perpetual honeymoon phase | stable and boring | stable but not boring | secret lovers | best friends hiding their feelings | and they were roommates | friends with benefits | coworkers avoiding HR | one-sided affection | weird sexual tension | it’s complicated | toxic relationship | a secret affair | an actual dumpster fire | other PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION: hand holding | kiss on the hand | kiss on the cheek | kiss on the forehead | kiss on the lips |  cuddling | hugging | affectionate messages or comments | pet names | pictures together | no displays of affection {with the exception of rooftop trysts, hiding behind pillars, hiding below the Temple...} PRIVATE DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION: hand holding | kiss on the hand | kiss on the cheek | kiss on the forehead | kiss on the lips |  cuddling | hugging | affectionate messages or comments | pet names | pictures together | no displays of affection | Biting | Licking | Murder-Suicide Plots | Boot Appreciating | Actual Sleep | Food Sharing | Cybernetic Limb Teasing | Other

DO THEY STAY TOGETHER? yes, this is endgame | yes but someone is gonna die tragically | something is keeping them apart | they part ways as friends | they part ways as enemies | they’re on-again-off-again | they have a super messy breakup | it was just a fling | other BONUS:

WHAT TERRIBLE PET NAMES WOULD THEY GIVE EACH OTHER?

To Anakin she is Tiny Phantom Salad. To Melakeni he is Za'lali, and the heart that beats outside of her chest.

~*~

Hell or High Water Orphans|Anibeth

HOW LIKELY THEY ARE TO ENTER A RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM:

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

Anakin took Beth by surprise. She'd been content to live alone, licking wounds, and trying to recover her health and sanity when he turned up on her doorstep one winter night three-quarters dead, suffering from total body-sepsis, starvation, and a whole host of physical, psychological, and addiction issues. She could never turn him away, not when she was confident she could at least keep him alive long enough to figure out where he needed to go. And then she realised he was an Orphan with a tremendous destiny on him, and on the verge of Awakening. Even in the best of circumstances Beth knew that he would be easy prey to the wrong kind of person. So she decided to keep him and help him figure out where he best belonged. Little did she realise how that was going to turn out.

~*~

WOULD THEY…

MAKE THE FIRST MOVE? Yes | No SAY “I LOVE YOU” FIRST? Yes | No CHEAT ON THEM? Yes | No BE THE JEALOUS TYPE? Yes | No PLAN THE DATES? Yes | No INITIATE THE FIRST KISS? Yes | No REMEMBER ANNIVERSARIES? Yes | No Beth and Anakin are very self conscious and very self aware people. Making the first move so to speak is really seeing how close they can come to the other before needing to find a reason not to, as their situation is complicated by the fact that Beth is older than Anakin, and is his current Mentor. And while she has 99 reasons to try and push forward, there's 100 reasons not to. And I think Anakin understands why Beth can't say those words, even if they radiate off her like heat on summer asphalt. Also... Beth plans dates to things that will expand Anakin's horizons; orchestral music, civic debates, charitable events, people and animal shelter volunteering, and Anakin plans things that will allow Beth to see the Nola that he knows, and together they come away with a deeper appreciation for one another's passions. ~*~ BOLD WHAT APPLIES: THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS: friends to lovers | rivals to lovers | enemies to lovers | still just enemies | mutual pining | star crossed lovers | old married couple | perpetual honeymoon phase | stable and boring | stable but not boring | secret lovers | best friends hiding their feelings | and they were roommates | friends with benefits | coworkers avoiding HR | one-sided affection | weird sexual tension | it’s complicated | toxic relationship | a secret affair | an actual dumpster fire | other

PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION: hand holding | kiss on the hand | kiss on the cheek | kiss on the forehead | kiss on the lips |  cuddling | hugging | affectionate messages or comments | pet names | pictures together | no displays of affection PRIVATE DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION: hand holding | kiss on the hand | kiss on the cheek | kiss on the forehead | kiss on the lips |  cuddling | hugging | affectionate messages or comments | pet names | pictures together | no displays of affection

DO THEY STAY TOGETHER? yes, this is endgame | yes but someone is gonna die tragically | something is keeping them apart | they part ways as friends | they part ways as enemies | they’re on-again-off-again | they have a super messy breakup | it was just a fling | other BONUS: WHAT TERRIBLE PET NAMES WOULD THEY GIVE EACH OTHER?

Anakin: ??? Beth: There's just a kind of way that she can drawl out "Anakin" that can give the boy heart-palpitations. And when she writes about him, she would use: koʻu ʻuhan.

[onegayastronaut]

Glass Castle (Maria Hill x Reader)

Requested by anon:  Hey, I was wondering if you could do a Maria hill imagine with the lyrics of the song Happier by Marshmello. Angst, and maybe they get a happy ending at the end or not, your choice.

Words: 1353

Maria woke up for her usual morning run at 4 AM, and she got out from under you. You were still snoring a little bit, and Maria thought this was the cutest thing she’s seen. Even after three years of being together, it was these little things that made her heart happy. However, she knew that your relationship wasn’t meant to last. Her job only ensured that one day you would be put in danger, and she would rather die herself than see the consequences of her job put you in danger. She resolved to move out later today while you were at work and just leave a note. It was a dick move, but it was still better than having a messy breakup.

-----

When you came home from work, you frowned at what you saw in front of your house. There was a big truck blocking the entrance to your driveway, and there didn’t seem to be anyone inside to help move it.

“What’s all this? What are in these bags?”

“I’m leaving.”

“Like on a mission? Why do you cleaning out all of your things from our apartment for a mission?”

“I’m leaving this. I’m leaving us. I can’t do this with you anymore. I was hoping to avoid this conversation and leave before you came back, but obviously, that didn’t go to plan.”

“Go according to plan? What the hell are you talking about? Is this why you’ve been acting weird for the last couple of weeks?”

“I love you, but I can’t do my job and worry about your safety whenever I’m away. It’s only a matter of time that HYDRA or some other organization tries to hurt you when I’m not there to protect you. So even though I still love you, I have to let you go.”

“That’s the most bullshit excuse I’ve ever heard.” You looked up and down Maria’s face. The fact that you loved so much had no remorse, no hesitation. It was clear that nothing you said could change her mind.

“I know. I’m sorry, (Y/N).” Maria got her bags and started walking towards the door.

“I’ve always known you love your job, Maria. But I never thought that you would one day choose your job over being with me.” Maria didn’t even turn around to look at you as the door closed behind her. You stood in the middle of your living room staring at the door, willing it to open so you could see your girlfriend again, but the door remained closed. A hot tear fell from your eyes, followed by another and another until you fell against the couch sobbing.

Maria stopped right outside the door and clenched her jaw together. I am making the right decision. I am making the right decision. Tears threatened to come out, but Maria blinked them away. There was no reason to cry about keeping you safe, even if it meant breaking her own heart in the process.

-----

Months passed, and you managed to find a routine that seemed comforting. Your bed still felt a bit big, but that empty feeling no longer kept you awake. A few weeks ago you went to the shelter and adopted a cat who kept you company, and you were sure that you would do anything to protect him. You haven’t texted Maria, and you haven’t heard about how she was doing. Even though you were still worried about how she was doing, it was no longer your business as you were no longer together. She had decided that she was better off without you, and the least you could do was to let her go. You would be lying if you said you didn’t miss her, but there was nothing for you to do.

Maria stared at her computer screen and went from one file to the next. It was like she didn’t know what to focus on now that the mission was over, and she was beyond frustrated with herself. Everyone on the team could tell that something was different with her ever since she had broken up with you, and Coulsen was the only person who had the nerve to point it out. She had snapped at him and regretted it immediately after. Even so, Coulsen felt the need to talk to her about the situation. Fury needed someone to put him in his place, and Maria was the only agent willing and able to give Fury the business when needed.

“I just miss her so much, you know?”

“Well, if that’s the case, why did you break up with her?”

“She’s better off without me. I thought that she would be safer if I wasn’t around. You know the people we’re up against. They hurt the ones closest to us.”

“It seems to me that the threat of the aliens we’re up against has already hurt the person closest to you. Take it from someone who has had a complicated history with love. It’s rare to find someone like (Y/N).”

“What are you saying?”

“You know, for someone as intelligent as you are, you can be extremely dense at times. I’m telling you to get her back. I’ve been authorized to give you a week’s leave to get your life back in order.”

“Authorized? Authorized by who?”

“Fury might be blind in one eye, but his remaining one can see when one of his top agents haven’t been performing as well as usual. So in the words of our leader, go get your girl back.” Coulson smirked as he watched Maria practically run out of the main building. If all went well, Maria would be back to her butt-kicking self when she came back to work next week.

-----

Maria tapped her finger nervously on the dashboard as she sat outside your apartment. Ten steps felt like ten miles now that she was here, and she could not believe how fast her heart could race now that she was about to profess her love for you. She should have come here earlier to ask for your forgiveness, but a mixture of pride and shame always kept her away. But she knew this was the right decision. The light in the living room told her that you were home, and Maria could swear she could feel your warm body cuddled up next to her. After taking a deep breath, she stepped out of the car and stood in front of your apartment. Picking up a small rock, she threw it expertly at your window and waited for you to come out. Your puzzled face only grew more concerned when you saw a very nervous Maria standing outside.

“What are you doing out there? And why are you throwing things at my window?” Seeing her out there made your heart skip a beat and your breath catch in your chest. You didn’t realize how much you missed her until now.

“I know I said that you were going to be happier without me, but that’s not what I want. The truth is, (Y/N), I love you so much. I’ve always loved you, and that’s never going to change. All I’m asking is for another chance to be with you. You’re all I’ve ever wanted, and seeing you happy makes me happy. I promise I’ll love you with everything I have every single day, and never take you for granted again. I love you, (Y/N).” Maria ended her rant and tried to catch her breath. The look on her face was hopeful but scared at the same time, and you didn’t feel right keeping her hanging. Running down the stairs, you practically launched yourself in Maria’s arms and kissed her because, in all honesty, you never stopped loving her too.

“I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too.” Maria held on you so tight you couldn’t breathe, but you didn’t mind. She buried her face in your shoulder and closed her eyes. One thing was for sure: there was nothing in this world or any other that would make her let you go.