#but the more i do it the less i can
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#great i just randomly want to cry#i feel the pressure behind my eyes but i probably won't be able to for days maybe a week#im fucking trying so hard every day to not spiral to stop myself from just becoming apathetic and falling down all the wrong paths#but the more i do it the less i can#and when i try to pour back in and do things for myself it just slides off#it's a one way valve and i can't figure out why#i can't give anymore but i am nothing if not generous#im a leaking vessel i can affect others and pour out my contents without much trouble#and i can be affected by others but it's very hard to put anything back in#and im just trying to stay in the moment instead of being 10000000000 miles away off in my head all the time#but it's getting harder every day and im scared i won't come back when i need to#i scared that i don't want to come back#vent post#tw vent#eternal goblin chatter in my brain#making this post late and going to bed#not ignoring any interactions kudos if you read this far
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this manatee looks like it’s in a skyrim loading screen
#lol good luck finding all of the photoshopped versions in the rb history. ‘manatee restored’ is still my favorite of all time#misc#I encourage anyone dyslexic to try rotating him in your mind. I can’t do that; which is why I’m asking you to.#also: a bunch of tags are surprised this isn’t ‘shopped#it’s the lighting. backlit by the sun (which is diffused through the water) but also forelit artificially#the artificial light - a flash pack or something - casts a hard shadow under the creatures arm#which normally wouldn’t be possible if backlit by the SUN; you’d see a less-hard/more-fragmented shadow above water#as light sources ‘compete’ in a sense - and since there aren’t any light sources which can outshine the literal sun#it looks a bit weird when the darkest shadow is being cast from any other origin point - which is what’s essentially happening here#I don’t know the mechanics of how light travels through water; but I know the effect is substantial even with relatively short distances#also: it’s been balanced and color corrected by the author of the photo - who made deliberate choices to bring out the full potential#so it’s not like it’s a fresh and untouched export#but the kind of ‘tacked on’ appearance of the creature is a result of the lighting conditions within the image
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it's never the last time.
I was trying to justify to myself having Leona know how to use a waffle maker, and. well. sometimes you just gotta go where the flow takes you.
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#tamashina mina#(just because of kifaji)#kifaji: it's four o' clock in the morning why on earth are you making waffles#leona: because i've lost control of my life#anyway i'm trying to be less lazy about my spot-blacking#(because obviously what leona making waffles for a toddler needs is that noir touch)#i know i can still be doing a lot more with it...but it's a start :')
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We didn't even get an answer, and we never will (at least it's not determination)
FIRST - PREVIOUS - NEXT
MASTERPOST (for the full series / FAQ / reference sheets)
#deltarune#undertale#utdr#crossover comic#undertale fanart#deltarune fanart#art#twin runes#twin runes comic#kris dreemurr#frisk#chara#ralsei#aaaaah chara is slowly figuring out what they are#are you onto it too?#but I'm with susie let's get on with the story already!#for those who haven't picked up on it#this comic and the last one are poking fun at the whole “what does the red soul represent” debate in the fandom#especially under the last comic i've seen people viciously arguing with one another on other platforms#or people from both camps yelling at me#fact is we know that every human soul has determination due to the log entries in the true lab and the amalgamates#some humans just can have more and others less of it#that is what chara is pointing out about kris specifically#they have a red soul but less determination than most humans#the comic ends on a non-answer because unless we get toby's word on it we will never know what it is#and that is kinda a toby fox move#we will never get his answer#all we can do is theorize#personally I like to think it's love#especially in the context of this comic series
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I am loudly pushing the batdad agenda i am loudly pushing the— DPxDC Prompt
“Woah. You look like shit."
Granted, that’s probably not the first thing Danny should be saying to the guy that just bit the curb, but in his defense; he’s not running on 100% right now either.
The man -- tall, towering, and broader than Danny is tall -- whips around on his heel, black frayed cape flaring out impressively. Danny would've whistled in appreciation, but he takes the time instead to wipe the back of his hand across his mouth, smearing the blood running from his nose across his cheek.
"Sorry." He blinks widely, not even flinching as the man with the horns zeroes in on him. "That was rude of me. I have a really bad brain-to-mouth filter; Sam says its what always gets me into trouble."
And she's not wrong either, per say. His smart mouth is what landed him in this situation -- with blood blossom extract running through his veins and cannibalizing the ectoplasm in his bloodstream. Thanks Vlad.
The man grunts at him; a short, curt "hm" that shouldn't make Danny smile, but he does because he's somewhat delirious and probably concussed. The man keeps some kind of distance, sinking towards the shadows of Gotham's alleyway like he dares to melt right into it.
If it's supposed to scare Danny, it doesn't work. Danny's never been afraid of the dark; he's always been able to hide himself in it. He blinks slowly at the mass of shadows.
"You look hurt." The shadows says, blurring together around the edges. Danny squints, and licks his lips to get the blood dripping down his chin off. Ugh, he hates the taste of blood.
"I am." He says, "My godfather poisoned me. M'dying." The agony of the blood blossom eating him from the inside out looped back around to numbing a while ago, so all he feels is half-awake and dazed.
"Hey," Danny stumbles forward towards the man, a bloodied hand reaching out to him. "You-- you're a hero, right? You're not attacking me; which is more than I can say for most costumed people I've met." Maybe it's a poor bar to judge someone at, but he's already established that Danny's not in his right mind.
The man makes no change in expression, but Danny realizes blearily that it's hard to tell with the shadows on his face. He stays still long enough for Danny to latch onto the cape -- stretchy, but almost soft under his fingers.
He looks up blearily into the whites of the man's eyes. "Can you help me? I don't-- I don't wanna die." Again. He doesn't wanna die again. He blinks slow and lizard-like. "I mean- I'll probably get to see mom and dad again, but I told them I'd at least try and make it to adulthood."
There's a clatter down the street, and Danny's ghost sense chills up his spine and leaves a bitter, ashy taste in his mouth. He immediately knows who it belongs to even before the deceptively gentle; "Daniel?" echoes down the way.
"Daniel? Quit your games, badger, Gotham is dangerous for children."
Danny's mouth pulls back, and blood spills against his tongue. "Please." He rasps, and grabs onto the shadow's cape with both hands. "Please. He's going to kill me. Please--"
"Daniel? Is that you?"
His lips part, dragging in air to plead with the darkness again. He doesn't need to, the whites of his eyes narrow, and the cape whirls around him before Danny can blink. Soon swaddled in shadows, the Night lifts him up, and steals him away.
#I AM LOUDLY PUSHING THE BATDAD AGENDA#anyways— add ons are encouraged i wanna talk more dpxdc with folks i just cant find any aus i really like enough to engage with#which is nobody's fault and its why im making my own content in order to reach more people#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc crossover#dpdc#dc x dp#dpxdc prompts#i took a ‘which batfam member are you (except its personal)’ quiz a few days ago#and got bruce wayne. and then was promptly read to filth why im most like him and it rudely but accurately explained why im the most like#him. it also consequently explained to me why i like him so much. whenever i see him in his kindest form i see a mirror looking back#anyways lots of ‘danny rejecting bruce as a parent’ aus. may i present: bruce and danny finding family in each other aus. batdad aus pls.#dpxdc prompt#dcxdp#this prompt can take place at any point of Batkid accumulation but personally i was imagining this as before Bruce has any of his kids yet#eldest brother danny supremacy and also just that one on one bonding#danny being someone who was never afraid of the dark as a kid and even less so as he got older. taking solace in it as a ghost because you#cant hide in the dark when you glow. his enemies can't jump out at him. but he can jump out at them. how can he be afraid of the dark when#the dark is where the stars like to live? there's a comfort in the shadows. there might be something hiding in it. but he's hiding in it to#blood blossoms eat ghosts headcanon#wasn't sure where i was gonna go with this at the beginning and then i caught steam.#batman casually kidnaps an orphan upon kid's request. also the kid was Actively Dying Of Poison. What was he gonna do?? NOT help him?#mister 'keeps candy in his utility belt specifically for scared children'??? no way.
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Lanns n Starks lineups/costumes sketches that I will probably add other houses to. Tywin and Joff & the rest aren't here because I was lazy and Cerseis dress took all of my energy. Don't ask me about inspiration or historical basis for these
#I AM NO FASHION HISTORIAN!!! I ONLY DRAW WHAT I THINK FITS THE VIBE!!!!#the lanns are more or less fitting with each other but the starks are a mess lol#ned is wearing like an every day stark attire ig#cat is more Traditional Tully#for sansa i had absolutely no idea what to do so she doesnt really look connected to neither ned nor cat#her dress is just slavic adjacent. you decide what it is. def not kl or alayne stone eras tho#with robb i wanted to draw completely different armor than i did for jaime so theres both chainmail#AND iron chest plate(s) that look central asian a little lol#arya has her worn out dirty ass riding attire that was given to her by lady smallwood#and jon is nw but i couldnt think of shit so hell be probably getting a seperate post with his costume#all in all this was. something. i dont think im really good at costume design lmao so you can just look at their faces to see my Vision#of everyone there. yea okay thats it#jon snow#eddard stark#catelyn stark#catelyn tully#sansa stark#robb stark#arya stark#house stark#jaime lannister#cersei lannister#tyrion lannister#house lannister#asoiaf#a song of ice and fire#🧩
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This wine tastes like pigs blood!
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#jin zixun#wei wuxian#su she#(Su She needs to have his carrie moment before he can have his Carrie Moment.#Which means he needs to exist as a punching bag before he can hit 'em with the rebound).#My first draft of this comic had WWX slurping LWJ's wine per actual scene canon#As it really is a great scene of how WWX is willing to absorb the scandal and harm that befalls others.#It had a lot less to do with it being LWJ and more so that WWX just happens to be the kind of person who refuses to turn a blind eye.#It could have been any Lan who was being pressured (inappropriately) to drink (do not pressure anyone to drink irl PLEASE).#Because this is a romance plot it of course *is* LWJ. But don't forget that in this moment they aren't on great terms.#It's not a knight in shining armor moment - it's a 'you were being treated unjustly and I have the power to absolve you from that.'#And as we are very soon about to see - WWX certainly cannot turn away from those who need aid he can provide.#And like Jin Guangyao; that kindness is also his downfall.#By the way - that you all for the amazing community commentary on the last comic. I really loved reading everyone's thoughts!#Suyao shippers...I get it now. You had me at 'wen ning and WWX parallels'. I'll be back with a treat for you soon.#And yes 'everyone' does include the ironically named tumblr user jin zixun.#Who blocked me right before the character makes his pd-mdzs debut.#I hope you are well. You seem like you were having a real bad time yesterday.
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*catboys ur shounen protag*
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#itadori yuuji#yuji itadori#yuuji#fanart#jjk fanart#boss shes drawing shirtless catboys.............#listen i just bought the mewji plush ive been in a Mood ok#u all can forgive me im sure#i rly liked the original mewji sketch that i did last night but fr some reason when i went to clean it i could not get th expression??#it just looked so off and kind of uncanny and not like yuuji at all#so i scapped it :) hes less scrunchy faced now#also. gomenyasai i am still guilty of doubling up on human/cat ears....#espECIALLY with a haircut like yuujis it is beyond me how to omit them#if anyone can make it work u r a better artist than i#anyway im so happy the trend of like. putting ur ref pic next to the finished piece exists#adds a lil layer of visual interest i think !!!#plus i for one think its neat seeing what other ppl use fr ref#i realized while drawing this tht its been a minute since my last boy without a shirt on#every time i get to draw torso muscles i am like i shld do this more often !!! and then i never do#bc the only thing i like more than rendering muscles is a cute fit GHJFJHFGSHg#anyway itadori mewji ladies and gays enjoy <3#i have ! places 2 b !#'why were u late' . uh .
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forever obsessed with dynamics between vampires, specifically that of a maker and fledgling, as a way to explore abuse. the creation of a vampire itself can so easily be a literalization of the lasting impacts of trauma and also much more simply the ways a perpetrator might shape their victim’s very identity. the extremes of isolation in the way that the new vampire, in most narratives, must cut all ties to their mortal life, or else go through an elaborate charade to maintain the facade of humanity, while forever still being removed from it. and the sheer dependence and vulnerability of being in an entirely new state of being, wholly uncertain of what it entails, and relying on another person to define… everything.
#or just the moral dilemmas#rewatching amc interview is kind of making me insane#that moment in episode two when louis is looking for a sort of assurance in the fact that lestat may actually have some good in him#look at how he cares about music look at the simple wondrous things that can bring him joy#and then the immediate dread when the opera performance turns out to be imperfect because he knows how lestat will react to *that*#I think there’s also something really interesting in the highlighting of lestat upbraids the less skilled singer before killing him#(slowly)#but also I will wait to watch more before I articulate my thoughts#vampires#interview with the vampire#amc interview with the vampire#i ramble sometimes#I do still find the lestat and claudia film and novel dynamic by far the most compelling for how she tries to usurp him but almost to be him#but I’m enjoying this#I’m very curious if I will like show claudia more on rewatch#the movie always resonated most with me (sue me lol) because there seemed to be more simultaneous fondness and attachment even at the end
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saw a post recently about the sun and moon fandom and how non-selfship content is rare, and how that's frustrating, and it struck me, like... how rare that is. genuinely in all my 20ish years in online spaces, i've never seen a fandom that not only welcomed selfship but actively encourages it, when usually the rule of thumb is that it's tolerated at best and despised at worst
so why is this fandom so selfship centric?
the answer is a combination of factors, of course, but I think it was mostly just a perfect storm of the right character with the right traits at the right time. many people between about 23 and 33 were and still are experiencing intense childhood nostalgia that's being perpetuated by online culture and various media, often through a distorted or slightly unsettled lense. the daycare attendant is fun! they're childish, but decidedly not children. they're not human, unattainable in reality, but plausible enough in the age of ai that they make you ponder. they make you long to nap and play and color and do all the whimsical things you wish you could take a week off from your dull job and do! but there's something... off about them. an element of danger that's intriguing. they're dangerous, but what if they aren't to you specifically? or, if they are, what if they overcame that, just for you? what if you were worth it?
people our age are lonely, and if not, often working through issues they didn't have time to contemplate in their teens and early 20s because they were still living throigh the issues. younger people too, of course, but it's especially rampant in the aforementioned age group. past college and college friends, too caught up in work to make new ones. if the dca really clicked with you as a character, it's kind of fun to imagine what it would be like to hang out with them. what if they were your friend? what if they were more?
which leads to my last point--cringe is dead and we stomped on its corpse
maybe it started with a few people drawing a y/n with the dca, and wow the art is cute! who's the cute jester character? ... is that a self-insert? huh. and then more people join in. is that allowed? yes! and the crowd cheers for it too! the right people drawing the right character dynamics at the right moment, drawing others like a moths to a strange robotic flame
ultimately, the fandom attracts so much selfship because that's the bedrock, the foundation the rest of the fandom built its home on. almost all of the common tropes and characterization have roots in selfship fic and art. the dca's popularity very much kicked off from that, and seeing other people using them as an outlet for their loneliness, friendship, romantic or sexual desires, or even just for creative character and plot setups that are only tangentially related to canon actively encouraged others to join in, in a way that could only happen while riding the funerary coattails of cringe culture
it's very much a lightning in a bottle fandom, the likes of which i doubt we'll see again for a while
#i have more thoughts but I'll leave it at that#it's genuinely been fascinating being at ground zero if this fandom explosion#seeing a dynamic that's usually frowned upon be so loved genuinely has been a wild ride#and to the people who don't like it... i get it i truly do. ive been in a tiny minority in large fandoms more times than i can count#but sometimes you truly just have to accept that youre a small fish in a big pond and make peace with that. it sucks#but that's the way of it. either make the content you want to see or find like-minded fish. i prommy they're out there. there's less if them#but you'll find your people#fnaf sb#fnaf daycare attendant
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Lab tech brain compels me to ramble through my OC
#fallout#arcade gannon#my art#you fools- by liking my previous art post you compelled me to do more art#anyhow I suppose that the one upside to wasteland medicine having less people involved is that there's less room for miscommunication#this is one thing on a canvas with far too many things#and the one other finished thing can sit in my drafts to post later for the illusion of me doing more art than I have haha#woe be upon y'all I can only post non-OC art when it's with an OC present it's just the law of my brain#it's a significant motivating factor I cannot sidestep around#anyway if you read these tags know that his speaking cadence is 1000 miles an hour#one of them say nothing OR flip a switch then be a chronic yapper kinds (like myself)
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"Well, this is a bad idea," Tim says, hands on his hips as he surveys the mess they’ve made in the cave.
"Nah," Danny replies, twirling his screwdriver in the air in what is probably meant to be an impressive trick to inspire confidence, except he fumbles it and it clangs to the floor loudly, "we good. If a younger version of myself hasn't come forward in time to stop me, how bad can it be?"
"Shouldn't it be the other way round?"
"What?"
"Normally, it's an older version of yourself going backwards in time to stop you, right?"
"Not in my experience."
Danny's grin is impossibly feral and a shiver runs up Tim's spine.
"This is definitely a bad idea."
#dpxdc#dcxdp#batpham#dead tired#dead tired ship#there is a more expanded upon version of this with actual backstory and context rotting in the recesses of my brain#but its only half on paper and the conversation made me laugh so#here: have some feral danny leading tim down a path to disaster#danny: this is going to go so well! i have such a good feeling about this!!#tim: this is going to go so poorly. i have such a bad feeling about this.#danny: 🥺🙏🙏🙏#tim: i never said we weren’t doing it. i just reserve the right to tell you i told you so when it inevitably goes wrong#danny: leave that to younger me - he always makes very valid points in the form of fists to the face!#tim: can you stop talking please this is making me want to do it less#danny: no.
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I think depictions of Anya being cruel to Curly or drawing out his suffering are artful and chilling but completely miss the point of the story and her character.
I'm not saying she doesn't deserve to have that "I told you so" moment with him but not in something callous or cold. Even if that is how it happened, she'd immediately feel guilty cause at that point she's not tormenting her tormenter or even the person truly at fault. She's doing something cathartic, similar to how Jimmy likely hits Curly to release rage he can't against the rest of the crew. She'd see herself as no different when she'd come back from the moment and see Curly cowering at her. She wants someone to take responsibility but how does being cruel to the defenseless help? Why would she want the power Jimmy has over her over Curly?
The idea of her extending someone else's pain is just so against the struggles she already faces and how she can't even bring herself to cause someone pain even to help them. Her very desire is to release herself from her own suffering and I doubt she'd even fine some sort of guilty release in being cruel to another.
#anya is not a character i see taking agency or indulging in cathartic behaviors#not knowingly like i see her as a character trapped in her head and maybe in the scenario she's cruel to Curly she is envisioning Jimmy#in his place but its not a story about justice or those deserving of punishment and those not like its the opposite of people projecting#their issues on the wrong people and saying things to the wrong people and doing things they shouldn't but anya uniquely falls out of it as#she is subjected to a lot of it but it is also not something she wants to subject another person to like you are doing what Jimmy does and#placing ur rage into another persons and viewing their actions through your eyes like she'd more likely yell at him than do harm or#cause him more pain like at least make it in character#but also she clearly doesn't want to see jimmy or curly in the same light and doesnt because she still repeatedly goes to Curly for comfort#and protection and god there's like concepts that need to be applied to characters individually and then the story as a whole#we can not view the game through only one themed lens less we forget to inspect the compounding factor of Anya is so much more than girl#that needs to be allowed to go off but a woman that simply wants right to be done by her and no more harm like she doesn't want to be aroun#the suffering like idk but some of yall would just benefit from like understanding that people are inherently grey with the capabilities of#black n white thinking or actions#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#anya mouthwashing#i like her the most but then again i am defensive of all women in media and hate when people change the way the character would take agency#for themselves like yes I want her to tweak out but she just wouldn't and I like seeing realistic depictions of a woman suffering the way#she is like shes not the type at the end of the movie to have a one liner but feel a shallow freedom cause she needs to realistically heal#idk but its just like there is an obbsession forming with making her character her pain and not how she handles and navigates the issue
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How are you?
I am doing the best I can given the circumstances! (Horse dead, scammed thousands, got bald)
#There is an unspeakable agony in the marrow of my bones#I am rotting from the inside out in real time and I can do nothing but watch the decay and pretend to find beauty in it#But the maggots burrowing inside me love me more than anyone else ever could#For they have tasted me as I truly am and decided my rotten meat is something to savor#I am doing about as alright as any of you Number One#The earth still turns and I will wake up again tomorrow a little less rotten
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thinking about wolfwood (ID in alt text)
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#from awhile ago! i forgot to upload it here i think#i realized looking back at this. wolfwood has shrunk even more. DFGMKSGMS im sorry everyone has to bear with that. short woowoo#is engrained into my bones.... but anyway. im a big fan of vash yearning if that was not obvious from my previous comics.#not to say wolfwood doesnt do the same ofc... but im just thinking about vash's layers of repression in emotions and how he holds it#all together for the most part.... and when he yearns it's not like a dopey lovesick smile or anything. his cheeks are red but he's all “:(#bc he's Shy about it. and troubled by how much he's thinking about ww. but he can't help it and even less so when ww is right there#it's a very honest expression from someone like vash i think. and wolfwood can start to tell when he's faced with it and in turn#also gets embarrassed . silly the both of them#ruporas art
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Sublime Equine.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#little apple#Did I *need* to dedicate a whole comic to little apple when I'm trying to economize my scenes?#Well! I did start this whole blog with the dreams of one day being able to draw better equines. So Yes. I did need this.#The true benchmark of my art progress is actually the quality of how I draw Little Apple.#(no seriously go look back at my little apple tag. Then come back here).#Hey welcome back! I know right! What was I even doing at the start? That was *not* a donkey!!!#That aside - I really am thrilled that I can draw her more. Even if she's only *really* in two more comics for season 2.#I wish I had more thoughts here. I'm so distracted by the donkey rotating in my brain. I missed her so monch.#Oh! Yeah I really like the parallels here between WWX and Little apple.#Specifically the sense of how we get a nod to how he's changed.#Little apple and WWX have both grown a little less lean and hungry (one literally the other metaphorically)#This whole episode is basically about WWX's desire for something peaceful and domestic in his life.#and here is little apple - his first companion from the start of his new life - changed to something softer.#Very much a 'look how far we have come moment' that is rather subtle but enjoyable.
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