#but the meds arent working?!?!??????
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modern au laios would 100% be a zookeeper. i feel like they'd start him with mucking out the monkey pits but hes so good with kids that they eventually just let him do shows and demonstrations. actually where's the dungeon meshi we bought a zoo au
#dungeon meshi#laios touden#senshi runs the hot dog stand but theres a million menu items that arent hotdogs and they all take 30 minutes#marcille is a volunteer receptionist shes doing this for an essay for her university course and then falls in love with falin#falins a vet (she dropped out of med school to become a vet work at the zoo)#izutsumi well. shes a middle school kid who comes to visit the panther exhibit everyday because thats her#who when in high school despite her best efforts and how lame she thinks the crew is (teenager) starts working the summers there#chilchuck is the guy who used to take his kids there and then got in an argument with marcille about ticket pricing and profits so#he started doing their finances because he solemnly believes the zoo would go under the original financial management (not wrong)
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1thing i have not seen and would like to explore is ed’s relationship to privacy and surveillance and visibility the way blackbeard was a 24/7 performance the way his childhood home seems to have been 1 room for everyone the way he tucks the silk and the cake topper away once he’s aware of someone else’s presence the way he probably started out at sea sleeping on deck with the rest of the bottom-rung crew the way he reacted to izzy at the beginning of 2.07 like that was a commonplace occurrence the way he hides when he’s upset the way he can’t help but put on a show
#my words arent wording but ikykwim#my brains not braining also. if my activity on here seems wildly spotty its bc my activity on everywhere is cutrently spotty#tbh im p sur e my meds crapped out sometime in the past month -_-#rip prozac thank u for the 1.5 decades of service#hope my psych doesnt put me on lexapro again. just prescribe me altoids why dont u.#lecroixapro.#fingers crossed i switch for a minute and then switch back and the prozac works again. thats a thing that happens sometimes
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Reasons I am Will Graham irl (more so reasons why I'm fucking crazy)
I have nightmares eevvveryyy night :3
I sweat a lot too much
I wear my boxers and a T-shirt to bed just to end up throwing my shirt at the overhead fan and having a shit ton of dust on my bed
I don't have 6 dogs but I DO have 7 cats
I love fishing. Fishing is life. Fishing. Fish. ish. sh. h.
I'm a stupid homo
I'm autistic
I can't think of anything else
#frank yaps#hannibal#will graham#hannibal memes#nbc hannibal#hannibal nbc#murder husbands#I think I'm fucking crazy#My meds arent working
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Quicky to-do list.... (ft some sweet little houses I came upon during my morning walk.. & my desk)
💚 research for Capstone/SDIS
🪷 respond to job email
🪼 schedule email to prof for tomorrow
🧃 do some laundry, time & energy permitting
Going to keep it small for the afternoon, I think my larger list yesterday only succeeded in making me feel overwhelmed lol this is.. doable
#i slept far later than i meant to this morning (again) but i still took myself for a walk which was the Correct Choice and felt good to do#ny adhd meds arent really helping me at all today so im gonna have to try to force some work#cest moi#studyblr
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When you backread through a fun conversation you had with someone for hours an angel gets its wings
#I was talking to my brother about Norman doors and I had fun in my UX class and he was telling me about demon cores and the trolley problem#in his class. AND I remembered to take my meds today so I can feel every cell in my body. i can feel the neurons rubbing together#and yesterday I infodumped about the specialists bullseye chart to crow and how it ties with witch hat atelier#WHICH I MANAGED TOGET THEM TK READ IM SO HAPPY. I MAKE SQUEALING GUINEA PIG NOISES EVERY TIME THEY TELL ME WHAT THEYVE READ SO FAR. AHH#i might not even be scratching the surface with witch hat there are so many themes i could not possibly fathom or go over my heasd#and thats what makes it so exciting there are so many spaces in between that you can fill with your thoughts and i. i#waves my hands around manically#for anyone interested in my insane ramblings. the bullseye chart is from are we all scientific experts now by harry collins#in my own words its basically saying everything we know about anything is a game of broken telephone#and it discusses how information gets lost in translation between experts and laymen including things that arent in control#one of the main points was how things that happen between experts are complicated including debates and findings#that you can only really understand thru research and experience in that field and cant be smoothly shared without it being reworded#and risking some of those key points. or even concepts that are hard to understand that cant be shared at all#like if you tried to tell me about how DNA works using words scientists are familiar with but i am NOT- i risk missing concepts that i need#to understand to know how it works on the level you understand. or i risk having it reworded and understanding it but not on that level#AND IT DOES TIE TO WITCH HAT THE WITCH AND NORMAL FOLK COMMUNITIES I PROMISE. ITS SO INTERESTING#anyway i spent hours reading back thru that conversation and i might as well admit it goes for almost every fun conversation i have#and it might be the 20mg of adderall in my body but i am in such a state of peace and love i have to verbalize it. ahh#yapping
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ueah...I grew up writing cursib..
#submas#pla#nimbasa trio#I could not be bothered to draw Elesa's hair rn#Going to eat a weaker pain killer med because my morphine level painkillers arent working ☠️
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retail truly is hell bc at my first job i was working at a chain pharmacy fighting for my life every day until i quit and now i work at a hospital and it's much more chill and i spend most of it sitting down (standing 11 hours a day at my old job fucked my legs up so bad) and eating (i used to not be able to eat lunch until 2 PM) and reading if there aren't a lot of patients. and i used to run out the door as soon as i could leave but now i hang around after my shift to talk to my coworkers or watch horror movies bc the roads are empty at midnight so my commute is faster and i no longer wake up every day wishing it would end like!!!!! yay!!!!!!
#hospital pays less bc they arent using my license but my mental and emotional state is So much better#i just need to get better bc it's kind of complicated work OTL but hopefully by the end of my second month everything will be smooth sailin#and i'm learning a lot ! :) slowly getting the hang of compounding chemotherapy meds#ignoring the absolutely abysmal state of healthcare workers wages in the philippines i genuinely am liking it here i'm very relieved#skl.txt
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ah. Hm. don't like THAT.
#my body is throwing a hissy fit i think 👍#lightheaded and nauseous arent a good combo#i am curious why my body is doing this rn#probably food. its probably food.#but i can't get food rn so its going to have to suck it up and get through the day 👍👍#i will probably go get food on my lunch break tho#which i hate doing but i hate the thought of passing out at work even more!#ough#also on top of that ive got fucking allergies cus i didnt take my meds last night#so im sniffling! boo!!!!!#shh ac
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I cannot stress enough how much I hate having an anxiety/panic disorder. Everything is wrong or a huge deal and then it actually isn't and you look like an idiot for not being able breathe for an hour and a half.
#and your meds arent fucking working#i have been the biggest ball of stress for the past week and a half and i hate it#personal#sorry to ramble my brain is bad
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i just want to be happy by default wo needing meds i just wanna be normal. is that like. too much to ask idfk
#meds arent fucking working anymore#and im stressing abt it bc the psych told me i needed to do a blood test#and i. i didnt do it#for like 3 whole months#bc i am DEATHLY afraid of needles just typing this is making me feel queasy#i need my meds upped but i hopeee he doesnt ufckingng idk SHOOT ME ON SIGHT for not doing the blood test#if he says i still need to do it ill litreally jump off a roof#i have TOO MUCH OCD for bloodwork. and he is treating me. for ocd#i cant fuckign do this yall#im so scared my results will come back and it'll say u have 823489234 diseases u will die in 7 day#minnie post
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what are the consequences of lying to a psychiatrist asking for a friend
#AKA what wld their reaction likely be if i told them i havent been taking my meds for the past month#and that ive felt better in that time than ive felt in the past 2 years#thats like. thats good right#thats a sign i *shldnt* be taking these meds right#like im not saying im anti-medication or smth#there are still things going on w me that i think meds cld help with#i just really truly believe i was put on the wrong ones at first#and rather than stop and go “okay maybe these ones arent working” we just started treating the side effects with OTHER meds#like#fuck#i KNEW they werent working from the moment i started taking them#and i TOLD my drs#but they were just like “give it more time” or “well lets add this one on and see how you feel”#im so curious now what this past year wldve been like if id never taken any meds#i genuinely think it wldve gone better#anyway. i think im just gonna be honest w him#im not a danger to myself or others rn#i dont think hed see it as a Red Flag or anything#im specifically trying to tell him how much *better* i feel off of them#god. wish me luck.
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feeling like I'm losing my mind lately with how the pain/stiffness in my hands has been rapidly getting worse and worse to the point where most days I wake up and can barely bend my fingers when it literally started like. a MONTH ago ? maybe six weeks at this point but definitely not super long ?? like it almost feels like it's an injury and not what I think it might be (some kind of arthritis) cause it's been so sudden but it has also been happening to my ankles for a longer period of time so I'm like well :/// can't have hurt myself in ALL FOUR extremities without knowing :///
#im starting to get to the pissed off mindset cause it hurts so much all day long and i cant DO anything about it nothing helps the pain#and doing things just hurts or takes way longer than it should cause of how incredibly stiff i am all the time#i have an appt with a rheumatologist next week im hoping maybe she has some answers that arent just. stretch and take otc pain meds.#ive been DOING THAT. it DOESNT WORK.#j.txt
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A t-shirt custom-made for Kirk that says "I got my top surgery from Dr. Leonard McCoy and all I got was this lousy t-shirt"
#star trek#im on a roll tonite#can u tell that my meds arent working haha#bones#mccoy#spock#jim kirk#beef speaks#tomatoes
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im in so much pain lol :') </3
#literally.... why am i getting full scale gallstone attacks again T-T#i havent had an attack since september but now they started again#and the meds they prescribed arent working!!!! T-T they dont help#and they told me that in this case all i can do is go to the ER (where i'll get morphine shots skskks)#but then i'll just go home and eat a potato and then be in pain again#i just want them to remove my gallbladder why is it taking so long#but yeah anyway i am in sm pain it ebbed out a bit earlier but then i had oatmeal and now it's bad again#so im scared of eating. and it hurts sooo bad i cant focus on anything or sit still even#so i rlly think that even if going to the ER is just not fun at all and it gives me anxiety that i'll just have to sit there#in pain and be uncomfortable and wait for several hours...#and the cost sksks. $32 but im poor so thats a lot to mr#anywayyyyyy yes i cant stand this so if it isn't better tmrw i'll go to the ER even if thats so scary#i cant handle this pain anymore it's just so awful#i luv ma lajfffffff uwuwuwuuwuwuw 🫶🏻💕💕💕💕💕
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rightrightright i shld create art or just express myself and then ill feel better
#blue.txt#currently the only way i know how to express myself is 4 paragrah vent posts on my blog#rly nota good day today idk why but it feels like the meds arent even working well . today#idkkk#oughhh#idk. i want to cuddle someone#to mutually comfort eachother.... and be warm
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