#but the lack of discipline and lack of support from management makes it a very hostile work environment

[daportalpractitioner]

taurus degrees in the natal chart (2°, 14°, 26°)

2° = really connected to your physical senses, strong + stubborn preferences, naturally gifted + can easily attract money, gets money but doesn't necessarily know how to sustain it, self worth is connected to what the planet represents, hoarder, consumes without much discernment, creativity comes easy, attractive, gluttonous, strong innate connection to the earth, strong values instilled from childhood, usually traditional, stubborn attitude it comes to your missions on earth, don't let the world rush your process, naive, here for a good time + a long time, strong libido, sexually immature, make sure your taste grows as you continue to grow, naturally clairaudient

14° = strong attachments, hard to move on, here to develop your self-worth, changes in values that are more authentic to you, loyal to a fault, need to learn how to manage utilize sexual energy to your advantage, blocked throat chakra, stand on your values, hedonist, struggles with poor diet, people usually see your worth + potential before you do, tendency to overwork self, earth witch, struggles with stagnancy, strong sacral energy, values strong foundation, establish strong boundaries, too practical + too little faith, being gaslit for strong boundaries, craves peace, young mom vibes, lack of patience, enjoy the journey, great taste but pockets need to match that, promiscuous, stubborn + picky eater, affirm yourself: i deserve this!

26° = overcome poverty mindset, self-sustenance is a big theme in life, money savvy, empress energy, strong values, the marriage type, strong fertility, oshun archetype, meant to be wealthy, generational wealth, disciplined + dedicated, the stronger the self-worth/values the more money you accumulate, alchemize with the elements, knowing what's best for you + standing on that, very bougie, can manifest with ease using womb/sacral energy, emotionally grounded, use sex to create your dream life, sugar daddy/mommy vibes, family looks at you for financial support (set boundaries), findom, your creativity supports your lifestyle

[bigmomma25]

Character Analysis of Josh Levy

Sorry if this is shit, idk how to word my feelings on Josh. Gonna go about each character very differently bc they're all complex in their own right and I have so many thoughts. Brain so full. He’s the most tragic of them all, super overlooked, misunderstood, and underrated. He’s someone who’s hard to analyze, since he’s so guarded. Plus I distance myself from him bc he's too real lol

I feel the most integral part of Josh's character is the fact that he's neurodivergent. He's always been very autistic-coded in writing, but it was also confirmed by Dorkin that he is somewhere on the neurodivergent spectrum, which changes his character completely from just a gluttonous selfish loser to a cautionary tale of what can happen when autistic children get no resources or room to be "weird" in public.

When we first meet Josh, it's established that he's the laughing stock of the group. In the first meeting that we see, the rest of the club has managed to get all types of pop culture merchandise from all over the place, but Josh's are more childish, like Animaniacs and Flintstones. He also went the easiest route, basically relying on his mother if he wanted to get anything done. All in all, not very complex, and this gets him laughed at immediately.

He is only treated with respect when he has something the rest of the club values, and has to use it as leverage to get any kind of positive feedback. During open debate, he's almost sneered at by the rest of the group and doesn't even realize it, since he's loud and corny and laughs at his own jokes. When they play DnD, he's shown to be very insecure and terrible at decision-making, once again getting him endlessly shit on by Pete. And once his leverage is gone, he's mocked again, especially for falling for such an easy scam.

There is a lot to unpack there, very quickly. The story almost makes it easy to point and jab at someone like Josh, without looking much deeper than the surface. He's the Eltingville Club's personal Chris-Chan, or Tophia, or Daniel Larsen.

Josh Levy has a Binge Eating Disorder

Josh has bad eating habits, both in the comics and pilot. He's willing to eat stale Doritos from a trash can, is constantly shoving fast food in his face, and bulk buys food constantly for the collectibles, eating it all instead of throwing it away like his friends. It even leads to health problems and discomfort, like when he was eating nothing but Batman-shaped Mac and Cheese for days and had extreme bathroom issues. This is meant to show his gluttony, but even that represents the issue Josh has faced all his life - his problems being portrayed as his own fault and made into a gag. Being fat is not a moral failure, but everyone has always told Josh that it was.

Binge eating stems from somewhere. You aren't born with those habits, and there's a reason he feels stupid and ashamed every time he participates in it. Josh has always faced a lack of control and emotional support from everyone in his life, leading to him trying to find it in both escapism and food binges. It's also a sign of even bigger mental health issues, but no one steps in. His own family shows a lack of care or consideration for their son, along with enabling his habits by constantly buying more for him. He has very little say in his own life, but he does at least have a say in how he eats and the things that bring him joy, even if it's destroying him.

Enabling Parents

While I wouldn’t say Josh has good parents, they at least have some type of care for him, and he obviously comes from a family with money. His parents are very old, and his mother is sickly, which means that they probably can’t discipline him in the way that he needed as a child. Even when Josh was grounded, it was a very light punishment compared to what he did (literally vandalism) and it’s clear there aren’t many rules in his house.

They essentially allow Josh to do whatever he wants, and throw money at him constantly, but refuse to actually look at what he needs emotionally that is causing all these outbursts. They show very little care when Josh is distraught, don’t address his binge eating habits or obsessions or why he’s having dreams of his friends beating him to a pulp. They constantly buy him a bunch of junk food when they can see the impact it’s having on his health, or maybe they don’t pay enough attention to notice. With his mother being sick, it’s very likely that he didn’t get much attention, and tried to get it from everywhere else in his life. He’s emotionally neglected and physically spoiled, trying to use material possessions to fill that void.

Josh’s Autistic Traits

I’m going to have to make a bullet pointed list for this, since there’s so many instances that it’s hard to pinpoint all of it.

Emotional Outbursts/Emotional Impermanence - Josh has been shown on multiple occasions to feel things very strongly, and acts out because of how emotional he gets. Particularly, his anger often overwhelms him. It’s very common for people on the spectrum to lack the ability to regulate their emotions and self soothe in a typical fashion, which leads to meltdowns, and angry outbursts. Josh clearly has a hard time conveying what he’s thinking when he’s upset, often getting tripped up and desperate, like trying to explain himself during the trivia-off, and trying to set boundaries with the club about the fat jokes only to be met with laughter and ridicule. I firmly believe he’s had meltdowns multiple times on screen, and it’s not always just him throwing a tantrum. He’s also able to switch his emotions very quickly, going from fuming with anger to beaming with joy, as if he’d felt nothing else beforehand.

Social Obliviousness - Josh often doesn’t realize he’s the butt of the joke when it’s not spelled out for him. His friends don’t even want to be seen next to him at times, and he never really realizes the degree in which they hate him. He makes a fool out of himself constantly, but doesn’t realize how people perceive him OUTSIDE of being a fat nerd, and has no desire to know and no self-reflection. Once again, I feel that the dream he has about his friends beating him up until he bleeds is significant, because he asks himself “what could that possibly mean” when it is VERY obvious to the rest of the audience.

His Special Interests Shape His World - Josh isn’t shown to be the brightest in many aspects; in the pilot he’s prone to making mistakes, he often comments in the comics about how he comes to realizations far slower than the rest of his friends. But when it comes to his special interests like Star Wars, he’s a human encyclopedia. He knows the most out of the group about anything sci-fi and comic related, even trying to build an actual functional Iron-Man suit by himself (before lighting himself on fire, but that’s still knowledge and dedication). The way he calms down is literally sorting his figure into lines. He can’t take his mind off of it even in important situations, like in the pilot when he’s being screamed at by Bill’s mom but is still caught up in the DnD game. His job in the future is literally him trying to be a comic writer. He cannot function in the world without his special interests being involved, and since most people were very hostile towards him and his interests, this manifests in him being defensive and obsessive instead of forming a normal relationship with it.

Lack of Empathy - Josh is very rude, like everyone in the club. While his harassment of others isn’t an autistic trait, it does show that he has a hard time putting himself in other people’s shoes. Even when he does care about people, like his mother, or Bill not getting a chance to get a Star Wars figure because Josh keeps hoarding them, or Pete after the zombie walk, he can’t conceptualize how they feel if it doesn’t affect him. It may not even dawn on him, because of his social ineptitude.

Missing Social Cues - Josh isn’t the best in social situations; from the painful conversation with the many cashiers at fast food places, to the scene during DnD, in the comics, when Josh is confronted with a social interaction with a girl and completely falls apart. He’s awkward, he’s loud, and he has no idea he’s awkward and loud. He’s also very blunt, and sincere with his words, not realizing that other people can say something and mean another, like when he showed up to job interviews and talked about Godzilla, thinking the hiring manager was interested.

Black and White Thinking/Paranoia - Josh jumps to conclusions often. With him, it’s either something is the worst thing to ever exist, or it’s perfect and you’re not allowed to criticize it. He has a hard time understanding that grey area, and this also reflects on how he views other people. Unlike Bill or Pete who form their judgements of “normies” on trends they’ve noticed and behaviors they’ve watched from afar, Josh thinks they’re all inherently bad based on his own experiences being bullied. And he believes all nerds are inherently better because of his friend group and experiences. Seeing someone who’s both preppy and enjoys nerdy media would probably turn his entire world view upside down.

Disorganization/Executive Functioning Issues - Josh can’t care for himself on his own, and has a hard time in public places. In the pilot it’s more evident, during the DnD game when he’d been shown to drop everything, make poor decisions, be hyper focused on small issues and details while ignoring the big picture, which can reflect how he conducts himself in real life. Even just making himself a meal or going grocery shopping is hard for Josh, which can be partly caused by his parents babying him too much, and partly from lack of executive functioning skills.

The Lolcow-ification of Josh

Unfortunately it’s a big part of his character stereotype that this story takes place in the early 2000s, which means the general population is very hostile to both fat people AND autistic people. Being both means that anyone and everyone will find an excuse to shit on you, and it will be socially accepted to do so. So it’s not unreasonable to assume Josh has been socially outcasted since his birth. Social Isolation is scientifically the worst pain humans can go through as a social species - it manifests in the brain as physical pain. And being exposed to that pain your whole life leaves you traumatized.

I’m going to be a dork for a second and reference my favorite book; much like how Frankenstein’s monster was not born violent, but grew to be so after being rejected and betrayed by everyone he knew, Josh‘s positive traits slowly became overshadowed by his insecurity and defensiveness.

It’s rather heartbreaking, how hard it is to analyze Josh when he is so clearly defined by trauma. Especially since it’s a fact that no autistic person in our society has really gone without trauma. It’s hard to know the real Josh when he’s always on defense mode. His trauma is also heavily overlooked, both in the story and in reality. Since he is most likely undiagnosed, he probably sees it as his own fault.

Josh’s Positive Traits

When he’s so often looked down upon, I feel like it’s important to have a little segment all about the good things in Josh that’d hard to notice.

Creativity - Josh is actually very imaginative. From his desires to become a comic writer, to his eagerness during the costume contest, he’s shown a desire to create and is always full of ideas. Good ones? Maybe not. But full of ideas nonetheless.

Loyalty - Josh puts up with shit no one in the whole world should let slide. When Josh truly loves someone, like the club, he doesn’t leave them. It may be partially caused by his follower tendencies, but he’ll stick by and defend his friends in any situation. Even when he swears he’s leaving for good, like when he daydreams of shooting his friends in the head, or claims the end of the Eltingville Club in the pilot, he always comes back.

Attention to Detail/Ingenuity - Josh is the type to notice things no one else notices, which often comes in handy, like during the trivia-off and how he managed to make the stash of collectibles in toy stores for the club. It’s an important skill, especially when the rest of the club doesn’t pay as much attention is he does. He tends to take the long way when solving problems, so this attention to detail often means coming up with unique solutions to difficult problems.

Honesty - Josh says what he means, which is real as fuck. Saying he’s gonna piss his pants in excitement is not only humorously blunt but also goes to show that he’s not gonna hide what he thinks or how he feels for anyone. The type of friend you go to when you want someone to tell you how it is and not sugarcoat it.

——

Yeah that’s all I’ve got for now. Too many thoughts and too little words I may explode. I just wanna squish him

[rederiswrites]

I wrote this out for FB and then thought I might as well share it here as well. So if you have ADHD, are a late-diagnosed adult with ADHD, and most particular if you are a person with a uterus and/or have children, this one might be for you.

...

Last couple of days have been a little...weird. Let's start at the beginning. Buckle up and learn something.

As many of you already know, I have ADHD. It's a condition with a PR problem--a lot of people, often even medical professionals, have a very distorted idea of what it does, and a very limited one. For starters, it's not about parenting, or lead paint, or lack of discipline. It's genetic, *highly* heritable, starts in childhood and persists throughout life, and is a sufficiently severe disability that it comes with a decrease in life expectancy of up to 13 years. It is a visible difference that can be perceived in brain scans. These are all, at this point, well established and thoroughly attested in the scientific literature. ADHD affects up to 5% of the population and appears across cultures. It is very common.

It's not just about lack of attention--in fact, plenty of medical professionals think the name should be changed, as in fact the problem isn't the volume of attention but the way we struggle to direct it. We are motivated by interest, and struggle to properly weight future goals and consequences, specifically because they are in the future. If the robin outside the window is more immediately rewarding to our brain, we will watch that, and not the teacher. Our ability to properly weigh the consequences of that choice is negatively impacted by our own biochemistry.

We struggle with many of what are termed the "executive functions", the self management systems of the brain. Degree and presentation varies from person to person, but initiating tasks, completing tasks, staying ON task, restraining impulses, emotional regulation, and working memory are among the things impacted. My working memory is notoriously horrible. When they send you those activation codes on your phone? I often have to go back and read them out several times to enter a six digit number. I have to stop and remind myself what I'm doing between every step of my morning bathroom routine, or making tacos. Sometimes I take off my glasses to put on my contacts, reset, and reach for my pill bottles while I still can't see. My long-term memory is also affected, with my husband de facto serving as the memory-holder of the family.

Another common symptom I personally experience is "time blindness", which can mean both that you have no "internal clock" that has a clear idea of the passage of time, and that our ability to properly weight the importance of things in the future is impacted. So, for example, I can know intellectually what's coming, but it takes some really complex and exhausting antics to actually focus and work on those things if they're more than a week or sometimes even a couple days away.

Without externally imposed controls, many ADHD people flounder and fail to meet social markers of success. Estimates of how many ADHD people manage to complete college range from 5% to 15%. Again: 5% to 15%! I have failed twice myself. WITH externally imposed controls, ADHD people often have to work far harder to make their brains do what is required, and either fail and develop an image of themselves as failures (usually with plenty of external help), or keep fighting and suffer crippling burnout.

To that point, ADHD is HIGHLY comorbid with a whole range of knock-on conditions, some of which stem from the same brain patterns that give rise to the ADHD itself, and others from the trauma of living with a disability, but they include very high rates of depression, anxiety, fibromyalgia, social isolation, and addiction. I have dealt with depression, anxiety, and fibromyalgia my entire adult life. I have never ended up in the trap of self-medication but let's be real, that's partly about having supports and a healthy social environment. It's not some accomplishment I praise myself for, nor is addiction a sin I shame anyone for.

And anxiety has a very different texture to it when what you're really anxious about is the next time you fail in some catastrophic way. Lock your keys in the car. Completely space on a doctor's appointment. Go to pay for groceries and find that your wallet is next to your computer at home. Because the anxiety is not irrational fear of some generalized bad thing. These things do and will happen, regularly. Sometimes it feels like the only fix is getting good at recovering. Because no matter how many times you manage not to blow it, there's always another chance.

So, the struggle to be a reliable person, to be a consistent parent, to be a dependable life partner, is continuous. And it is so so so hard and it sometimes feels like you're not actually making any progress at all. I have tried therapy. I have tried three (or four??) different non-stimulant medications that sometimes help people. One of them DID help. ALL of them had catastrophic side effects. There were times as I was trialing these medications when I needed to be minded because I wasn't capable of taking care of anything, not even myself. Without Jacob, I don't know where I'd be. Not here. Probably in poverty, which is where he found me.

I have tried probably most organizational tools you know of. I have tried imposing schedules, all of which turned to dust and ash when the next fibromyalgia flareup or the next major life disruption happened. I don't think a new schedule has ever lasted a month before.

I HAVE felt like I'm made progress lately. I learned things that really helped my fibromyalgia, which gave me the space to work on other things--just like getting the borders of a puzzle finished. Enough things were spiraling upwards, and I think I might be cementing some gains. I have felt optimistic.

But in the meantime, I asked my doctor if, now that no less than three cardiologists have insisted my heart is Perfectly Healthy, I could finally try stimulant medications. After decades of use, Adderall, Ritalin, and a couple related stimulant drugs are still the gold standard for ADHD treatment and improve outcomes substantially for many people. And stimulants are in serious international shortage. Have been for many months. The only one she thought she could get me was Adderall. And she didn't dare try anything but the standard 30mg because nonstandard dosages would be even less attainable.

So now I'm taking Adderall. One week on 30mg, which I stopped when it was clear my function was being seriously impaired rather than improved. Reassessed with the doctor, now trying 60mg, because that's two of the pills I've already managed to obtain. It is....too much. And in some ways it fixes problems I wasn't working on, while so far making my executive function, my initiation or even *contemplation* of tasks, virtually nonexistant. Which was, of course, the thing I was trying to fix.

So yeah. When you have the context, I figure you can understand the substance of my frustration yourself. If you have children, I don't think you need my help to imagine what it would be like to know that you are unpredictable, or to see that your children are used to to you undergoing events that make you act strangely and erratically. I think just knowing that often, new medications introduce themselves by giving me a migraine, and I know this is possible when I take that first pill, is fairly self-explanatory. And so I expect you can imagine what it would be like, with all of this as a backdrop, to experience worsening of your symptoms, probably because of age-related hormonal changes. To in desperation try something you'd previously been denied. And to learn that it probably won't help.

In a week, I will either give up on Adderall for now or find a way to make it work. I'll put together the pieces yet again--at this point, possibly my strongest personal skill--and continue that upward climb as far as I can get. I'm incredibly fortunate in that regardless, I will be fed and dry and warm and loved. But right now, I feel justified in some serious dismay.

[elysiansparadise]

Jupiter-Saturn conjunction in the composite chart

The conjunction between Jupiter and Saturn is one of my personal favorites as it is the union of the opportunities, expansion and growth of Jupiter energy with the structure, discipline and stability of Saturn. In a composite chart, it creates a balance between ambition and reality, vision and practicality, favoring the durability of a relationship and its quality [whether friendly or romantic]. It is favorable to build solid foundations while aspiring to sustained growth and something very nice in the long term. This post can also apply to those who have Jupiter and Saturn in the same house regardless of whether there is a conjunction.

─────────────✧────────────

🩶In the 1st house: They both feel a sense of fulfillment with the other, feel more confident and constantly seek to encourage the other to trust themselves. This is a relationship that will lead them to grow, they will live moments that they will treasure and that will positively impact their lives. There is a strong loyalty between them, they see in the other someone with whom they can build a lasting relationship. You are fun with each other and, even if you are fascinated by how your partner helps you relax and have a good time, you value and appreciate that you can take things seriously when it’s needed. They are reliable with each other, and will always seek to give many positive things to their partner, to be a beautiful experience that takes their focus off of what was tense in the past or what overwhelms them in the present.

🩶In the 2nd house: This couple feels a strong need to work on the stability of the relationship, from the economic sphere to everything that can promise them a lasting and loving relationship. They focus on knowing and sharing values ​​together, they place a high priority on honesty, justice, loyalty and companionship. This couple will grow gradually, they will not feel the need to rush or take unnecessary risks in the relationship. They will not pressure the other and can be understanding when it comes to respecting the pace or essence of the other person. Both have a preference for long-term relationships and may prefer something more serious than hook-up culture. They will be certain that the other is what they want and they will always value the other, letting them know. This couple can improve their finances and its management in this relationship.

🩶In the 3rd house: This duo will focus on having open communication with their partner, giving them the freedom to express themselves without fear of being judged as well as heard when things get tense or become too much. They will seek to be clear and patient with each other so as not to give rise to misunderstandings or tensions. They will love talking about their future together and everything they want to do with each other. Both will bring calm and relaxation to your partner's tension or stress, as well as structure and order if they lack a realistic approach. They will be able to talk about things like adults without blaming the other, without belittling or insulting, because the respect they have for the other is bigger. There is a lot of admiration between them and they will seek to spend a lot of time together. 

🩶In the 4th house: Both parts give a lot of importance to the emotional well-being of the other, they seek to know better what they need to feel good in the relationship and together they work to make this union something comfortable that satisfies the emotional needs of the other. They focus on creating a safe environment for each other where they can be vulnerable and rest after the stress of the outside world. Mutual support, reliability and a vision to create a home together both in sensation and in something tangible. They can form a beautiful and loving home where together they are everything they wanted to in terms of relationship and parents. They work hard to have emotional stability, to ensure that the other never doubts their love and to be able to form a beautiful bond.

🩶In the 5th house: Both will experience both sides of love, from the one that is romantic, lighthearted and exciting, but stable and reliable at the same time. They will feel genuine love and a desire to love each other correctly, that is, to make each other feel loved. They will genuinely feel great admiration for each other and will be able to give them that push to believe in their potential and talents. Generous with each other, very affectionate and delighted with the idea of ​​growing together. No matter how busy your lives or schedule are, spending time with each other will always be a priority and you will make space for each other. They will focus on making the other feel validated, loved and adored.

🩶In the 6th house: This couple is interested and focused on fulfilling their role in the relationship, that is, acting in honor of the title of couple. They have a strong need to do the right thing, to care about each other's well-being, and to support each other. This couple will choose to help the other in practical and useful ways, seeking to contribute solutions to the other's problems. They want to create a relationship together in which both know without the need for words that they can count on the other. This relationship will feel like taking weight off your shoulders, as you will teach each other that it is okay to rely on each other and that as long as you are together, you will not have to deal with everything alone. Strong support and a genuine desire to care and look out for each other.

🩶In the 7th house: Both have a high level of dedication towards the relationship, they constantly work hard to have a fair relationship in which both receive what they give and feel loved, supported and safe by the other. Loyalty and understanding stand out a lot in this couple, who strive to be equals, without toxic roles of domination or desires for control. A mix between the seriousness of commitment and the joy and enthusiasm of living a passionate and fulfilling romance with the other. Both feel a deep dedication to the other, they will never want to fail the other and they can feel the desire to be there for the other no matter what. They feel fulfilled, satisfied and delighted to have this relationship, not only with someone they deeply adore but someone who is just what they want. They work to maintain harmony and to be united regardless of adversity.

🩶In the 8th house: They may feel that the arrival of the other brought with it an endless number of positive things, not only the company of someone stable and dedicated to the relationship, but opportunities to grow [at work or as a person] or even a transformation in their vision of life. This couple can change the other person's way of thinking, perceiving and approaching life. Both put a focus on creating a safe spot where they can work on all areas of intimacy, which they will always seek to improve. They care about knowing each other deeply and being truly there, next to each other when things get tense.  They will begin to leave behind things that no longer bring them positive things. The trust in this relationship is huge and they will always give each other reasons to trust and love each other. 

🩶In the 9th house: They focus a lot on experiencing many things alongside each other, from traveling and visiting new places, to exploring feelings or moments they never experienced in previous relationships. They put a lot of focus on getting to know each other deeply and working together for the happiness of both, without this being at the expense of the other’s. Deep mutual respect, admiration. They want to grow and achieve their dreams and for the other person to be there to enjoy by their side. Both encourage each other and push the other to go after what they consider only a dream, no matter how far away it may seem. They are people who have always looked for deep meanings, and that is precisely why they connect so well in a relationship whose connection is as deep.

🩶In the 10th house: This couple is oriented towards making the relationship a success, making it long-lasting, healthy and based on everything they consider crucial  or needed in order to have the relationship they want. They focus a lot on making their plans together come true and making the future together something possible and desirable. Both can have improvements at the work level after starting the relationship, a feeling of personal fulfillment and improvements in self-esteem. They will help each other recognize their potential, skills and opportunities for growth. Their support for each other is unconditional, they want to see the other's success and celebrate it as their own. Their goals fit well with each other's, which makes them feel on the same page.

🩶In the 11th house: They have many long-term aspirations and desires in common, similar priorities, and a strong value on quality over quantity when it comes to relationships of any kind. They may feel lucky to have connected with each other, since they share many things in common, such as the inclination to ensure unity in their relationship without forgetting their individuality. They can obtain promotions or salary increases after starting their relationship, as well as a lot of success in their work environment. They can form more lasting and real connections too, this being one of them. The comfort, freedom and happiness they feel with each other are factors that they experience from the beginning of the relationship and what makes them feel safe in maintaining this relationship.

🩶In the 12th house: There is a deep emotional connection between them, both know the other's burdens, their fears, desires and core, and they do not flee from it but rather seek to go hand in hand with the other, supporting each other in the process. There is a desire to deeply understand the other without judging them, but wanting to be the support and companion they hug after a tense day. They are not looking for a superficial relationship, they are looking for this to be as meaningful for the other as it is for them. They want to be a balance, in which one part brings joy to the other in case of sadness, or calm in case of chaos, alternating roles and adapting to the other. They both want the relationship to be a sanctuary where they don't have to have their walls up or constantly fear.

[kindheart525]

Awhile back, I entertained the idea that Allan Red perhaps had a dysfunctional upbringing, one filled with messes and a lack of personal space that led him to be the extremely organized and independent critter we know and love today. At the time it was a vague concept, but I found it super intriguing and have decided to finally tackle it for myself. If you know any of my MLP work you know I love making family/backstory headcanons like this, so it was only a matter of time before I started doing it with the smiley guys.

The difficulty of Allan’s life started with the divorce of his parents. His father, Red Red (pronounced Ray-d Red), is much like who his son grows up to be: a financially stable critter who organizes his life in spreadsheets and keeps his home very clean. His favorite drink is water and he’s generally boring and unremarkable. Despite this, he is the most hated man in the city. As a lawyer, Red was tasked with defending a critter who was notorious for being charitable and friendly to the whole town…until a legal misstep got him the death penalty. It later came out that that guy was a serial killer (he was executed over a parking ticket) but the damage was done. When he divorced his wife, everyone sided against him in the custody battle, not over his parenting abilities but because of his “crime” of condemning a beloved icon. But also Red’s busy work schedule is not conducive to parenting and he’s generally not great with kids, treating them like mini adults more than anything. He could have fought harder than he did but his lack of emotion contrasted with his ex wife’s heartfelt pleas turned the favor towards her.

Red’s story is kind of silly lol but his ex wife’s is much less so. Despite getting primary custody of her son, Lucy became kind of a wreck after the divorce. She hopped from job to job despite her ex’s generous child support payments, but she was overall managing alright…until she met Kevin Costner (not to be confused with the actor). He was a gruff man but she saw a warm heart in him, especially since he had a son of his own to care for. But in reality, he’s an alcoholic who’s horrible with money and doesn’t pick up after himself. His son Topher is shaping up to be the same way but perhaps worse, as he seems to break things on purpose and scream constantly just for the hell of it. Allan had the misfortune of sharing a bedroom with him in their parents’ tiny house, and he couldn’t get any peace with him around. Topher stole his things and got up in his space and would not give him an inch to himself. Kevin (or “Bastard Kevin” as Allan calls him) disciplined Allan for standing up for himself much more harshly than he ever corrected his son. Lucy made excuses for the both of them and tried to make them bond as a family, but that wasn’t happening. Even when Allan caught her crying about how she’ll never be able to retire or have a clean house, she insisted, and still insists, that Kevin is the love of her life. She couldn’t be convinced to leave him. Nobody was ever hit but it was still a bad situation. Allan, who initially felt the sting of his father’s supposed “abandonment,” quickly put those feelings aside to focus on surviving each day in the Costner household.

To make matters worse—or better, depending on who you ask—Lucy ended up pregnant with Kevin’s baby. Cassadee (legally Casserole because Kevin was drunk filling out the birth certificate) is the apple of her mommy’s eye. Lucy was thrilled to finally have the daughter of her dreams, a girl to balance out the male energy in the house. But to Allan she was just another source of noise and messes, and he was unlucky to be tasked with much of her care since Kevin and Topher were useless and Lucy was barely holding it together. This time only solidified for Allan that he never wanted to be a father. In fact, he wanted to be as far away from children as possible. He wanted to live alone like his father, who he was finally starting to sympathize with.

Allan eventually struck out on his own. He worked his ass through college, financially supported by his father but trying hard to become completely self-reliant and finally pursue his dreams of becoming an engineer. Once he was an adult he did everything to stay out of Mother and Bastard Kevin’s house, not even joining them in quarantine when the pandemic hit. Now Allan is doing well, living each day with relief that he gets to go through life mostly on his own terms. Even the chaos of work usually rolls off of him because at least it’s not like what he grew up with, although he’s very particular about keeping everything in order and can get rather defensive in personal confrontations. Mother and the other Costners still ask him for money, but he doesn’t feel obligated to give them any because Bastard Kevin is guaranteed to drink or gamble it away. 

None of that is Allan’s responsibility anymore. He’s got his own life to live now.

[a-d-nox]

hi! would like to ask for advice on how i can deal and overcome the challenges of Saturn in Pisces transits in my 9H? I was always the overachiever and competitive student because of my stellium in 3H (all the beneficial planets) and mars & uranus in 9H but now that i am already in college, the situation turned upside down and i find it hard to keep up now on my studies which i think the Saturn transit in my 9H has great negative effect on this. Thank you in advance!

how to survive the pisces saturn transit throughout the houses

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1h

needing to figure out abstract self, being challenged by personality traits, struggling with outlook on life, feeling the physical body age, appearing older/maturer, detachment from beauty, struggling with false confidence, delayed or limited beginnings especially in terms of spirituality and creative pursuits, struggling with taking initiative, struggling with ambition, false mannerisms, needing emotional discipline, feeling physically weak, and/or creative passion

recommendations: try to separate your self from a situation. notice how you are no your situation. learn to better control reactions that originate in from your personality. try to see situations from all sides - practice objectivity. learn to act your age - better to be mature than immature. learn that beauty is to be separated from who you are - you are more than your body. practice self-love - do mantra work or positive self-talk. take breaks - let yourself know it is okay to do so. do things only when you have the energy and inspiration to do so. try one new thing a week. don't let yourself be kept back from experiencing new things. understand that you are very capable. keep emotions in check - learn to better manage them. sleep more. exercise and get movement more. create something new.

2h

needing more discipline when spending resources (spiritual and monetary), hard spiritual work, short-term turned long-term work and discipline, the need for a mature work ethic, immaterial possessions, the illusion of possessions, limitations to self worth, illusions about the self's value, detachment from personal values, emotional insecurity - the need for empathy and less apathy, lack of stability, struggling to meet financial obligations, and/or needing practical giving and receiving abilities

recommendations: keep a budget book or invest in a budget coloring book. track your mood. don't over extend yourself. make sure that you you are practicing shielding and protecting your energy. dig deep and do shadow work. deep dive into spiritual practices. be open into making a side hustle into a job. do research about your field of interest. practice being the bigger person. not everything you have is physical - take stock of what you have (health, happiness, emotional understanding/depth, etc). practice self-love - do mantra work or positive self-talk. make a list of what matters most to you. evaluate your ethics - figure out your ethics. reconnect with what matters most to you. be more willing to hear others - their problems aren't yours however they are no less important. finding stability and consistency where you can - not everything is forever so appreciate it while you can. make calendar reminders for your due dates for bills. do not give more than what is asked for. learn to be more appreciative of what you are given - practice gratitude.

3h

seemingly chaotic communication, deceitful information, a need for empathic communication, needing healthy/consistent communication, needing to stabilize the speaking voice, feeling anxious when talking with others, needing to be more aware of others social boundary requirements and needs, challenges of the mind, delay realizations, overthinking, false thought and ideas, curbing false perceptive of an event, needing more practical opinions, making the subconscious mind conscious, needing to be more in control of thoughts and speech, spiritual interests, being more wary of gossip, being more compassionate about other's ideas and the information they share, needing to read more spiritual literature, a lack of transportation, not always trusting local media or social media, needing to step away from phone use, not being as fearful about making that phone call, visiting estranged fathers, and/or not letting the illusions of a social activity stop you from attending

recommendations: try to cut to the chase - less fluff, more facts. be careful - don't believe everything you hear. be more willing to hear others - their problems aren't yours however they are no less important. take a breath before talking - no one is judging you like you think they are. when someone sets a boundary respect it - don't be afraid to express your boundaries either. do mental / brain exercises. reflect on your day. try not to spend your day re-thinking everything you have done, everything you have said, everything people have done to you, and everything that people have said around you. reflect on whether or not you might be biased in a situation or if you are letting your mood color your opinion. keep a dream journal and interpret your dreams. think before you speak. curbing and rewriting your thoughts - opinions and perspectives are not facts. avoid participating in gossip. read more spiritual books. take a walk. don't trust everything you read or hear. know that nothing is as scary as it seems; the idea is often worse than reality.

4h

how home feels - do you feel trapped? can you escape into your home? etc, investigating family roots, setting mature boundaries with parents (particularly the maternal figures), supporting the inner child using maturity and wisdom, doing shadow work, being responsible/empathetic/mature in emotional situations, making more solid foundations, creating enduring traditions, and/or spiritual self-care

recommendations: re-evaluate your home life. smoke/noise cleanse your space. do some nesting. ask parents and relatives about their life and their family. set boundaries with your family - don't be afraid to reinforce them either. nurture you inner child - let them know that you can protect them now. do shadow work. take responsibility for your emotions both the mature and immature response you have/had. take things slower - no one is in a rush (slow and steady wins the race). re-invent familial traditions to be more modern and to better serve you and your needs.

5h

inner children work, childlike escapism, talent, creative disciplines, escapism via creativity, creative limitations, creative efforts, childish drama, escapism via drama, karmic drama, false accusations, risk-taking after a long time of being stable, romantic drama, escapism via romance, romantic boundaries, escapism via hobbies, and/or pleasures you find when pushing off responsibilities

recommendations: do shadow work. do things that your inner child would like. embrace your creative side. take an art, dance, or acting class. watch a comfort movie or show. know that all effort made is good effort. don't participate in drama. watch reality tv. don't listen to other people's accusations - be the bigger person and simply say 'i'm sorry that you feel that way and that is your perception on the matter." take a risk - playing it safe doesn't always lead to the gains you dream about. date for fun and create boundaries when dating - if you are just dating for fun, make sure that you are transparent from the beginning that you don't want something serious. deep dive into your hobbies. have some fun - not everything has to be serious and all about responsibilities.

6h

creative routines, lacking a routine, spiritual routines, the limitations of a routine, mental health, vitamins and minerals, karmic duties, self improvement via shadow work, lack of consistency, delusions surrounding hygiene (don't fall for fads), spiritual innocence, good karmic, showing maturity in karmic situations, and/or spiritual analytical

recommendations: journal, draw, sing, dance, etc per a routine - practice your interests consistently. a lack of routine will be a given but follow one when you can - an off day is not the end of the line, just because you missed one day doesn't mean you give up. take better care of you mental health (get a talk therapist, journal, etc). start taking you vitamins (make sure you talk with a doctor as needed about doing so as well). take care for the debts you are left with in the physical sense. do shadow work. now is not the time to switch up everything in your hygiene routine - slowly introduce new products into your routine don't do it all at once. lead with being ignorant in the situation and show your willingness to learn. be as mature as you can be in a rough situation.

7h

accountability in long-term relationships, the limits of relationships, sensitivity in relationships, emotional boundaries in a relationship, a show of empathy, spiritual attraction, spiritual charm, chaotic/challenging/karmic conflicts, karmic partnerships, deceptive contracts, hidden enemies becoming open enemies, false negotiations, compassionate equality, spiritual harmony, sharing wisdom, sharing dreams, and/or sharing feel in a healthy manner

recommendations: take accountability for things that go wrong in your present relationships. know that happiness is an inside job and not something that you can depend on others for. so empathy and understanding in your situations. share your boundaries with your partners. be empathetic to others because you will never truly know what is happening or what has happened in their life. lead with love and light to attract the same in return. be wary of conflicts and reflect on whether or not you have been in a similar on previously. read the fine print. share your wisdom with others. treat people as you wish to be treated. be vulnerable with others.

8h

long-term spiritual transformation, emotional sex, spiritual death, facing long-term challenges, chaotic changes, clever shared financial documents, spiritual investments, creative investments, spiritual rebirth, merging creative ideas, karmic taboos, secrets, mystery, shadow work, and/or empathy/compassion towards trauma

recommendations: prepare for a long-term change. let go of old beliefs that no longer serve you. don't try to order the chaos - just go with the flow. invest in yourself spiritually. buy yourself an art piece or fancy music player. invest in a creative pursuit. let yourself be reborn spiritually. don't be afraid to combine two of your ideas. explore the unknown. be empathetic to toward your and others trauma.

9h

spiritual wisdom, limitations of law, chaotic values/beliefs, a jobian test of belief, spiritual discipline, needing to be more kind to yourself where higher education is involved, chaotic/false/limited viewpoints, needing to use language to express boundaries, needing responsible ethics, long spiritual journey, and/or learning about spirituality/boundaries/discipline/karma/empathy

recommendations: share spiritual wisdom with others. know that not all set laws feel just or deserved. embrace having a mixture of beliefs. it is okay to question your beliefs. if you feel tested, it is for a good reason so just stay strong and keep believing. just because you fail at something doesn't mean you fail at everything - be okay with trying new things. verbally express your boundaries. be ethical in your day-to-day life and recognize your ethics aren't going to be universally accepted. be open to hearing/learning new things.

10h

chaos legacy, limitations / perceived restrictions in legacy or career, spiritual task, sensitivity in career, chaotic public image, falsities about status/image, spiritual reputation, test of popularity, needing patience for long-term goals to manifest, the perceived effort/challenges in one's mission, and/or spiritual responsibilities

recommendations: uncertain direction in life - figure out what you enjoy and how it can make it your life. don't let your ideas about a career stop you from pursuing it. work on your spiritual journey/tasks. be sensitive towards others at work. know that you can always turn your image/reputation around. don't belief everything you hear about someone. evaluate your need to be known. practice meditation. evaluate in the "juice is worth the squeeze" when it comes to your mission/task.

11h

karmic friends, boundaries made between friends, spiritual gains, what is gained from hard work / effort, spiritual desires, abstract/ non-material desires, unique/rare challenges, social awareness of boundaries and the need for compassion, influence over personal karma, limitations to manifestations, limitations to one hopes and wishes, false ideals, and/or spiritual debut

recommendations: beware of karmic friends. enforce boundaries in a friendship - just because you are making a boundary doesn't mean you don't want to be their friend. put in the work to gain. do the spirit work to improve. evaluate your non-material desires. be more aware of other people's boundaries. evaluate whether or not you are in your own way. figure out if your expectations are too high.

12h

spiritual healing, hidden emotions/boundaries, karma lessons, needing to be wise and graceful with age, insufficient sleep, avoiding mental health, needing to take responsibility for mental health, spiritual solitude, lack of or strange/unclear dreams, illusions about spirituality/age, fearing karma, karmic losses/endings, escapism from responsibilities, limiting beliefs that slow progress, the subconscious mind's needs, karmic self-undoing, how the past is coming to affect the present/future, and/or spiritual delays in ability

recommendations: practice spiritual healing. investing in crystals. embrace grace and wisdom when dealing with others. take naps and reset your sleep schedule. take accountability for your mental health/wellbeing. take care of yourself - it is okay to take time away from others too. keep a dream journal and interpret your dreams - to better understand your subconscious. debunk your beliefs regarding spirituality.

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© a-d-nox 2024 all rights reserved

[sayuricorner]

Transformers G1 AU idea: Neglected Decepticons's heir AU

Warning: English is not my first language so sorry if it's a bit confusing! ^^'

Here's an idea for a Transformers G1 AU in which Megatron had a son.

If you had any question regarding the AU don't hesitate to ask! ^^

And if you want to use this AU go ahead, just don't forget to tag and credite me please! ^^

-----------------------------------------

Plot:

At the start of the war, Megatron created an heir to succed him to secure his lineage and leadership of the Decepticons.

His creation is a young sparkling he named Ironshard.

However, despite having created him to become his heir, Megatron was so obsessed with the war that he took no part in Ironshard's upbringing, Starscream and Soundwave were the ones who raised Ironshard and educated while Megatron focused on the war.

This bring Ironshard to grow up into a young mech with a sharp mind and fine strategist thanks to Soundwave's and Starscream's mentorship.

Since he was a Sparkling, Ironshard craved for his father's approval and worked hard, especially in combat and strategy, to prove himself worthy, however Megatron's cold and distant demeanor and neglect toward Ironshard never changed.

This made Ironshard grown from wanting to do his best to had his father's validation and love to become delusioned with Megatron and seeing Soundwave and Starscream as his true creator figures which create a rift between Ironshard and Megatron.

However, things took a new turns when the Autobots and Decepticons found themselves on a planet named "Earth".

-----------------------------------------

Ironshard:

-Is Megatron's son

-Alt form: Tank

-Armor colors: Black and purple

-Optics: Red

-Personnality:

-Having been raised by Starscream and Soundwave, Ironshard have been shaped into a formidable strategist and tactician: stoic, smart, cunning and logical with a tactical mind. His logical and disciplined nature make him a valuable asset to the Decepticon's cause.

Ironshard is very loyal to the Decepticon's cause but not very much to Megatron whose increasingly reckless and destructive actions from his obsession to destroy Optimus Prime and the Autobots through the war made Ironshard question Megatron's ability as a leader.

However, his stoicism and lack of true social relationships, outside of his creator figures, while growing up made Ironshard to be socially awkward. He does had a good side but he show it in a very discreet and subtile way.

He is also known to be a workaholic due to his dedication to the Decepticon cause to the point Starscream, his trine and Soundwave had to fight tooth and nail to make him to get a decent time of recharge as like Megatron, even if Ironshard tend to deny it, Ironshard can be very stubborn.

---------------------------

Relationships with some of the characters:

→Megatron: Megatron and Ironshard had a very difficult father-son relationship, one which is completely inexistant emotionaly speaking. Megatron had created Ironshard to be his heir but quickly end up neglected him to focus on the war. Once upon a time Ironshard wanted to make Megatron proud of him and get his validation but Megatron's coldness and detachment to ward him made Ironshard grow delusioned, creating a rift between father and son.

→Starscream: Having raised Ironshard alongside Soundwave, Starscream initialy saw this as an opportunity: his plan was to raised and mold Ironshard into a Decepticon who embodies his own vision of the Decepticon cause and Starscream planned that once he finally managed to overthrow he will make Ironshard HIS heir to secure his legacy. However as time pass, Starscream developped a genuine care and affection for Ironshard, to which he always try to deny.

→Soundwave: Having raised Ironshard alongside Starscream, Soundwave had always been an unwavering support to Ironshard which have been another source of strength to the young mech. If Soundwave is very loyal to Megatron, the latter's neglected toward Ironshard, his own son, the heir, the future of the Decepticon cause, created a little bit of resentment toward the Decepticon leader.

→The Stunticons: When the Stunticons, who unlike Ironshard have been created directly in adult cybertronians frames, were created by Megatron, Megatron quickly neglected them, like he had done with Ironshard, Megatron seeing them only as weapons. Motormaster who want to had Megatron's validation, had a deep jealousy and envy toward Ironshard as the latter is Megatron's oldest creation and "official son" and Motormaster often try to provoke him to prove that he is "the most worthy of Megatron", creating a very one-sided rivalry. Ironshard just ignore Motormaster's provocations most of the time, seeing them as childish and ultimately pountles, however, while annoyed by Motormaster's provocations, Ironshard understands his yearning for Megatron's approval. He sees a younger version of himself in Motormaster, someone who hasn't yet grasped Megatron's true nature, who don't understand that Megatron is way too selfish to see the actual worth of those around him, especially his own creations. Despite all this and the Stunticons's brutish and rowdy nature, Ironshard recognizes the Stunticons' potential as a strategic asset. He saw their raw power and rebellious nature as very valuable in certain situations and want to "influence them" to develop this potential and for Motormaster to develop his potential as a leader of his team.

→The humans: Unlike most of the Decepticons, Ironshard doesn't had any disgust toward humans or organics in general, in fact he is Neutral about humans, he doesn't really care about them. He also saw attacking the humans as bad strategies 'cause this lead to more unecessaries battles with the Autobots, leading to more use and waste of ressources which to him only made things difficult for the Decepticons cause's goal: win the war to change Cybertron from its oppressive former society.

-----------------------------

The AU can take two different depending if whoever who use the AU want to stay in G1 or if they want to go in the Earthspark continuity.

If it's follow the G1 continuity:

When in 2005 Megatron was turned into Galvatron by Unicron and the dead Decepticons were turned into soldiers for Galvatron, the latter made his "comeback" to the Deceptions with the attention to "upgrading" every Decepticon into a soldier who fight on the name of Unicron, resulting into a big battle between the Decepticons and Galvatron and his soldiers.

-Unlike the canon Starscream didn't die but have been severly damaged and ended up crippled and unable to fly making him unable to lead the Decepticons until he is repaired.

-Unlike the canon Soundwave didn't join Galvatron, to him Megatron was dead and Galvatron was just a puppet of Unicron using Megatron's frame. Soundwave ended up very damaged to the point he ended up in a coma.

-With both the SIC and the TIC being unable to lead the Decepticons, the duty falls on the heir: Ironshard.

-Despite his relationship with Megatron being non existent, Ironshard was still affected by his father's fate as deep down even if he grown up delusioned with his father a tiny part of him still hoped that they could had a better relationship one day but now it will never happen and the current state of his two creator figures made his mental state worst.

-Now Ironshard had to take the duties of leading the Decepticons, the war having drastically changed and was no more a matter of "Autobots VS Decepticons" but a matter of "Cybertronians VS Unicron and his spawns".

If it's follow the Earthspark continuity:

In 2005 an important event made Megatron had an epiphany regarding the war and switched sides to join forces with the Autobots, leaving a lot of Decepticons angry and feeling deeply betrayed by their now former leader.

Ironshard was among the ones who felt betrayed the most, he already bottled up resetment toward Megartron for not having be a father toward him as he should had and also for also having neglected the Stunticons just like he did with Ironshard and also for having let his obsession with destroying Optimus Prime and the Autobots nearly jeopardize the Decepticons more than one time.

But turning his back on his own faction and the convictions Megatron defended after everything? After all the sacrefices made? After all those millenials of a war HE started? This made all the resentment Ironshard had toward his father explode in anger.

-After the final battle of the Cybertronian war Ironshard became the leader of the Decepticons with Starscream still being the SIC and Soundwave the TIC.

-The three made a strategy of having Starscream posing as the leader of the Decepticons so G.H.O.S.T wouldn't find out about Ironshard's existence while Ironshard is the leader in the shadows.

-The Decepticons had etablished a new base nested in the arms of the Himalayas.

-In this base, outside of Ironshard,are a bunch other Decepticons like the rest of the Stunticons, the Constructicons, Blitzwing and Astrotrain, the Coneheads ect...

-Officially, Thundercracker is a neutral after the war but because of the potential threat of G.H.O.S.T, he is for now staying in the base with Bustier a little organic dog he had adopted one years ago.

-Megatron deeply regret how he had treated Ironshard in the past and through "Earthspark" when he is not with the Maltos, Megatron is moving heaven and Earth around the world to find Ironshard in hope to reconsile with his son.

-The Decepticons's goal:-S1: free the Decepticons emprisoned by G.H.O.S.T.

-S2(In this AU, the season 2's events are differents, the Chaos Terrans are still present though): rassembling the Ember Stone's shards, rebuilding a Spacebridge, using the shards to make the Spacebridge work in hope to go back to Cybertron, find the Allspark and rebuild Cybertron.

------------------------------

Additional headcanons:

-In the past Jazz often infiltrated the Decepticons disguised as a Decepticon named Ricochet to steal intel from the Decepticons and spy them, however one day Jazz, under his Ricochet disguise, while infiltrating the Decepticon base run into a, back then, very young Ironshard and when Ironshard asked him who he was and Jazz tried his "I'm Ricochet, I'm a new recruit!" charade, Ironshard had looked at him whith a stare which mean "You think I'm stupid or what?" before suddenly contacting Soundwave to alert that an Autobot disguised as a Decepticon had infiltrated the base and Jazz was forced to flee and menaged to escape before he could get captured by the Decepticons, ever since Jazz never used again the Ricochet disguise.   

-Ironshard managed to bust Jazz because since Ironshard is with Soundwave and Starscream most of the time he knew almost everyone in the Decepticon army and know whenever there's a new recruit and as far as Ironshard knew there is no Ricochet registed in the Decepticon army.

-This day Starscream and Soundwave have been panicked when they realized that Ironshard have been alone with Jazz because since Jazz is Optimus Prime's right man hand and the head of the Autobots's Special Operations Jazz had a bit of a "boogeyman reputation" among the Decepticons.

-Whenever Megatron is about to become very violent toward Starscream, Ironshard often intervene to deviate Megatron's attention to something else and calming Megatron down in the process. 

-While Jazz, like most of the Autobots, knows that Megatron had a son, he didn't realize right away that the little sparkling standing before him, aka Ironshard, was Megatron's son.

-Because Megatron haven't been very much involved in Ironshard's education and raising, despite being Ironshard's father/creator, Ironshard see more Starscream and Soundwave as his creators which Starscream see as a little victory against Megatron by not only raised Megatron's son to not become a "foolish brute" like his father but also to become to Ironshard a father figure he never had, even if Starscream didn't planned this outcome, since Megatron neglected his duties as Ironshard's creator.

-Despite himself, Starscream developped a genuine affection for Ironshard, but he doesn't want to show it nor admit it to which Skywarp and Thundercracker aren't stupid because as Starscream's trinemates they know him very well and knows that deep down Starscream genuinely cares about Ironshard and is protective toward him.

-Despite his stoicism Soundwave cares for Ironshard.

-Whenever Megatron and Starscream had arguments about Megatron's plans and/or leadership, Starscream like to taunt Megatron about his "inabilities and failures as leader but also as a father in the raising of his own heir" much to Megatron's anger, frustration and jealousy.

-Skywarp often tease Starscream about the fact Starscream genuinely care about Ironshard, since Starscream and Soundwave had pratically raised him since he was a Sparkling, despite Starscream always trying to deny it.

-Ironshard is more reasonable than Megatron, for example, if a dangerous situation happen which will cause kill everyone, Autobots and Decepticons alike, and that this will call for a temporary truce between the Autobots and the Decepticons to defeat the threat, Ironshard will agree that an alliance in those circonstances is the most logical thing to do to survive and would subtly say to Megatron things like "but how can you expect leading Cybertron if everyone and the planet are destroyed?" to convince him to accept the alliance.

[webglossy]

MEET EMMA ! WEB GLOSS’ LITTLE MIRACLE !

Lee Yoona, known by her stage name Emma, is the leader and vocalist of Web Gloss. She made her debut as an idol on February 20th, 2023 as a member of Web Gloss under Nova Entertainment. She’s known as miracle due to her story as a girl who fought many health issues and hardships before she finally made it to her debut on WG, she is now loved by many fans around the world as WG’s little miracle…! 

stage name . emma birth name . lee yoona birthday . october 16th, 2000 roles in the group . leader nicknames . miracle emma, miracle idol

Before her life as an idol, Yoona had a rough start to life - being born with a serious lung condition, she spent the first weeks of her life battling for it at the hospital, which she kept doing throughout childhood. Towards the start of her adolescence, she started feeling much better, and her passion for singing was born. She spent hours every day learning new songs and showing it off to her family, who despite the financial struggles, made sure to support their little girl as much as they could.

It came as a shock to her family when Yoona decided to drop out of school to focus on her idol career, at the time, she was in a very small and unknown company who was barely holding on, but she was happy. After many fights, her parents didn’t let her drop out, which only fueled her to do better and prove to them she could make it. After many sleepless nights, she passed into JYP Entertainment through an audition, but her parents still didn’t let her drop out and she graduated highschool a while later. Recovering from her illness, she worked ten times as hard as the others to make up for her previous lack of practice due to hospital visits.

Even if her health was still fragile, she managed to rise through the ranks and made it to a predebut project that later became ITZY. However, due to circumstances unknown to the public, she was pulled out of the final ITZY lineup and placed under JYP’s subsidiary Nova Entertainment, eventually joining Web Gloss as the Miracle Leader we all know and love. Her story is an inspiration to many fans around the world, an example of discipline, hope and strength, earning her the title of a miracle idol…!

In WG, Emma is the inspiring leader, not letting frustrations get on the way or hurting the group’s morale. She leads them with joy and confidence, and is often seen guiding them through crowds and red carpets like a shepherd guiding her sheep. The girls love her, and are constantly praising her skills and caring personality. Due to the hardships she has faced, she shows a much more mature perspective than the other members, making her the perfect advice giver of the group. She is loved by the members, staff and most fans around the world. She doesn’t do much outside of WG other than the usual photoshoot for a magazine or ad.

[solarbird]

The thing about spending eight years cheering, supporting, and encouraging political violence and welcoming people dedicated to political change through violence to your movement is that…

well…

…okay, sure, you can build up a mean little coalition of paramilitaries that way. If you’re disciplined and careful.

Or, if you lack that discipline and those organisational skills, you can instead build up a motley little coalition of people more than happy to listen to your calls for stochastic terrorism.

And the problem with that latter route is they might not always aim where you want them to.

The other problem with that is if they decide you’ve abandoned or betrayed them – and if you’re coaching them and constantly encouraging them in conspiracy theory thinking and bullshit, that gets a lot more likely, for any reason and none – they might even aim at you.

Elon Musk earlier today wanted to know why people weren’t trying to assassinate Kamala Harris and finds it very suspicious that they aren’t. (He since deleted the tweet.)

The New Hampshire Libertarian Party said anyone who did it would be an American hero. (Screenshot, also since deleted.) Whoever is in charge of that account is gonna have a looooooot to talk about with the US Secret Service tonight.

In short, the usual crew of fash are trying real hard to aim this shit. But so far, well – it’s not working out as they’d planned.

Nonetheless, they will continue to do this just as they have. They will continue to ramp up white nationalist violence against immigrants in particular but not just, and tell their base that brutality and violence will be necessary and just, just as the OG Nazis said, and the crisis will escalate through – and almost certainly after – the election.

The more they realise they’re going to lose, the more they’re going to ramp it up going into the election. Harris is at +5 points today. Polls are difficult at best in this environment, but they listen to them just the same, and their actions say it’s worse for them even than it seems.

However, the more by which they do lose, the more it’s going to ramp back down after. I’ve talked about this before. The bigger the loss, the fewer people will be willing to take action to overturn it.

This is now the latest reason we need to deliver the biggest, most absolutely crushing defeat that can be managed. They need to be deflated, depressed, and done in. It needs to be a definitive statement that this will not gain you power.

The win needs to be so clear, so obvious, that any attempt they launch will attract the fewest number of people, and so, cannot succeed. Roberts and the corrupted SCOTUS are, sure, firmly in their camp, but they’re not stupid; they want to hold onto power even in the event of a GOP loss everywhere else, and that puts hard limits on how far they’ll go to overturn an election.

They absolutely will not further endanger their own power. They want to be around to rule from the bench for decades, if they can.

So. This year has been doomed to be violent for a long time now. But we can make it the least violent it can be with an absolute electoral blowout.

There will be more of this, going forward. Expect it, but do not be discouraged by it; in fact, be heartened, because the more they lash out, the more it clearly it shows that they know they’re about to lose.

Stay on target, team.

49 days remain.

[starathsbunker]

I'm in my Pokemon phase and feel like talking about one of my OCs, a Lucario named Rio. She's been around for a long time so some of this will be fuzzy up until the most recent story arc, where She took an Onix's head to the chest and got knocked out so hard her chest spike broke off, and now she's working through some PTSD. It's okay though, she's found an emotional support Rockruff to help.

As usual, however, the best place to start is in the beginning. Note: The Word Doc I wrote this in got to be four pages long so I'm reblogging this to add in pieces rather than all at once.

Lucario are a common "sight" in my Pokemon headspace. I've trained 8 of them so far in various generations: Loki, Anubis, Apollo, Artemis, Athena, Persephone, Lucian, and Neowise. To a degree all Lucario are similar despite their various personalities: They tend to be calm, disciplined, wise and kind. But of course that is all in different amounts. They can all communicate with "words" and mental pictures as well, and that varies in skill level. Loki can "speak" easily and fluently, while Anubis laboriously manages to produce single words at a time, and mostly sticks to "yes" and "no". They don't always speak aloud, which is why "speak" is in quotations because they use aura to do "mind speak" instead of verbally. That doesn't mean some don't talk aloud. Artemis is the most talkative and she usually sounds like an excited husky dog. Her aura puts emotional energy behind her words, which feels like someone is throwing exclamation points at you like a dart board.

This is mostly pulled from Pokemon canon: Loki is most like the Lucario from Lucario and the Mystery of Mew, Anubis has had aggression problems like Korrina's Lucario (he doesn't use Mega Evolution because of this), and Athena and Artemis sound like Ash's Lucario from the Journeys series because they like to talk a lot. Rio is not like any of these. For whatever reason, she is not calm and centered in her aura ability most of the time. She can "speak" words and pictures, but if she is too excited or upset it gets garbled and only the emotions get through. She learned how to draw pictures instead, and her trainer taught her how to write short words. This is difficult, however, since pencils are hard to hold in paws with no thumbs. Basically, she is either very focused or very scatterbrained. Luckily she has other skills to make up for that. She met her trainer in the Galar region when he was out walking in the forest and managed to piss off a large Ursaring. He was honestly too young to be out that far (maybe 12-13) and survived only because she intervened. After she convinced the Ursaring to leave, she did the Mysterious Loner Thing and, after "telling" this young human to go home, she left.

Except she followed him back, because her Mom Instincts had been activated, for lack of a better word. She told herself she wanted to make sure the young human got back safely .

She’d never been so close to human civilization though, and although scared she was fascinated and eventually the young boy found her again because she lingered too long. He took her home to show his mom this awesome Lucario who had saved him in the forest. Although they were kind to her, she wouldn’t stay long, accepted food with gratitude, and left.

Eventually that boy, Tyler, offered her a Luxury Ball and he became her Trainer. She was pleased about it, although had the attitude like “Well someone has to keep you out of trouble.”

Fast forward a few years, and the Pokemon Grand Prix visited the Galar Region. Tyler was 16, and convinced Rio would win the tournament, he entered them. The Pokemon Grand Prix was something I’ve remembered from the original Pokemon series, where Ash entered his Primeape to fight. There were 20 entries into this tournament. All Pokemon had to be screened for level and skill if they hadn’t been before, just to make sure the match-ups were even. Tyler knew Rio was strong and she earned herself a spot in the tournament easily.

Unfortunately I don’t remember too much about this arc, except for some important things. Rio’s moveset is Aura Sphere, Quick Guard, Meteor Mash, and Dragon Pulse. Dragon Pulse was her “hidden” move that didn’t get used until almost the tournament’s end. She also fought in ways that were unique. She hadn’t had a Trainer for most of her life, so they had to work to teach her how to listen to him promptly. She always did little things before and after the moves he asked, which made her harder to fight because she thought on her own. She also used moves unconventionally. Aura Sphere is famously a long-range move, where the Lucario creates the ball of aura in both paws and then lets it go. While she can do that, she prefers to get in close to an opponent and blast them straight in the chest, trusting her Steel Type to shield her from recoil damage. Quick Guard is supposed to be formed as a wall, but Rio will “bend” it to her liking to create a curved shield or “gloves” on her paws to deflect an attack.

These tactics are how she won most of her fights, including one that was her toughest opponent yet: A Incineroar named Blaze. By all rights she should have lost because he had type advantages and more experience, but because she didn’t fight like a “normal” Lucario, she beat him after a long battle. At first Blaze was aggressive and angry, but after his defeat, he became her biggest fanboy. Luckily his Trainer was a good sport and congratulated them on a battle well-fought. She also thought it was adorable that Blaze liked Rio so much, since Incineroar tend not to like anybody but their Trainers.

Rio made it to the last round and faced the Tournament Champion, who was another Lucario. He had been watching Rio fight and saw through her tactics-- She didn’t use aura correctly and counted on her quick actions to make up for lack of focus and ability to predict an opponent’s movements. The battle was long and brutal because Rio refused to stay down. To make matters worse, this Lucario tried talking to her the whole time, in that way a more experienced, calm fighter would to a brash younger fighter who is trying every trick they know to win. He didn’t intend to sound mean (although he did sound quite condescending) but it just pissed her off until she wasn’t listening to her Trainer at all. Eventually he decided to end the battle for her own good but she surprised him with her last move-- Dragon Pulse-- and the fight ended in a double knock out. This meant the judges decided with points, and the other Lucario was declared a winner because he’d continued to listen to his Trainer while Rio did not. Despite this, this battle was declared one of the best the Pokemon Grand Prix had ever had.

[sararosies]

2024 Reflection (2025 Prep

I pretty much started 2024 by crashing and burning everything. I had to get up on my own, struggling and ignoring the signs that the society tried telling me. Entering a new year was like a “whatever” thing to me, as if life was just life. However, I had to literally “wake up”. It might be a surprise to reflect that social media woke me up. Although social media contained a lot of garbage content and bad dopamine, I was lucky enough to encounter motivational and disciplined contents. I went from scrolling hours on social media everyday to learning something new. When I was encountered undesire challenges in 2024, my friends and family members would tell me to change. But how? Changing was like getting a rebirth. They asked for me to change but never told me how. I did not have the intention to change, yet I was yearning to SEE change. It was during the summer break had I realized that my inner self was lacking discipline. I hated the way I look. I hated the way people treated me like an option. I hated my schedule. I hated how I woke up everyday not knowing what to do. It felt as if I put myself in a worse-care era. I brought those bad habits from 2023 into 2024, and I cannot let it repeat. I have no excuse to lack discipline in 2025 when I already came to my sense in June. In June 2024, I thought I had everything planned out. Planned out? As if being consistent was an easy chore, I flopped. Got lazy. I thought maybe I should wait for the perfect time. Truth to be told, I missed them all. Summer glow up? Gone. Winter Arc? Missed. Sometimes I lie to myself that missing those opportunities was okay because I never started clean anyways. My room and closet was a mess, my posture was unacceptable, and I was never much self-assured. This time, I cannot crash and burn. 

What went well in 2024? Coming to my senses in June. It felt late by then since half a year was finished, but I was glad to had something kept in mind. I was able to stay a little bit on trend going back to school in September. Yes, I tried fixing myself at the near end of 2024 but I still came to multiple trial and errors. Starting on October, I stopped procrastinating with my extracurriculars and homework. I finally managed to get around 7 hours of sleep, set my alarm, woke up early without feeling rushed, and taking the time to prepare my own meals. It was a tiny accomplishment to start the new school year, but that was only the start. Now, coming to an end, I really need to get my act together.

What Lessons Did I learn? 

I can make a long list of what I learned from finally realizing the reality of life. Financially, mentally, physically, etc:

Screw popularity

 You don’t need a lot of friends to occupy your surroundings. You can gain recognition and mini fame to your contribution, but I’d pass for excessive popularity and parties. I do not want to gossip, and I would rather not know any tea or drama. I only need a few very good friends that could benefit me throughout my journey. I am excluding myself from hanging out with the people I don’t even like.

You either become a consumer or a producer of social media

I am not going to use social media to distract myself from reality. I will not scroll through endless reels to escape chores, my studies, or my goals. I no longer need motivation from social media to live. Unfollow all those garbage content that induces dopamine, and start following the correct content that supports self growth. Do not delete social media. Social media is not bad. You’re just not using it correctly. Remember, social media knocked me back into reality. There are many contents are social media. Bad contents and good contents. I was lucky enough to come across motivational ones, like I said. Hence, you need to use social media wisely. Don’t use it to effortlessly scroll, but use it for your own benefit. You need to get your purpose clear. And instead of effortlessly scrolling, you can be creating content. You can learn a high-income skill from social media that will eventually become a reasonable side hustle. You can use social media as a marketing strategy, seek for advice, listen to podcast, and learn tutorials. Use it for self growth. Not as a distraction. I used to scroll on social media as a distraction when I’m “bored.” Now, I use it to learn high-income skills, listen to podcasts, learn different beauty hacks, exercising ideas, and inquiring inspiration. Sometimes, just limit your screen time.

Instead of dreaming your ideal self, make it happen

Nothing changes if nothing changes. I honestly don’t know who quoted that, but I saw it on pinterest. You can’t just let time pass and hope that your future self will be successful and great. What you do now affects your future. So instead of waiting, chase your dreams. Create a schedule, attainable goals, and a plan to help you achieve. Get better each day little by little. In the end, the only thing you will regret is not starting earlier. Why am I even saying this? I know I should start, but I’m literally believing that the New Years would be a better time to start. Yes, it is actually. I am currently working towards it by reflecting on 2024. I am technically completing a little checklist that Chat GPT wrote me. 

Mindset determines everything. Weak mindset? Consistency fails

I practically ignored the whole state of maintaining a mindset. A mindset allows you to think and judge your purposes for a better outcome. A weak mindset wouldn’t get you anywhere towards success. You wouldn’t even get distracted again. I start developing a good mindset by listening to influential podcasts from WizardLiz, Tam Kaur, Song Jia, and Simone Simon. Also learn to be more open-minded. You will never know what kind of circumstances society will put you in. If you’re ever struggling, you’ll be prepared.

Discipline>Motivation

Seriously? Why are you relying on motivation? Discipline yourself and question whether you want the success or not. If you are wanting to achieve your goals (long term or short term), then screw motivation. You can seek a tiny bit of motivation through Pinterest or tiktok if you’re starting to fall apart. However, you need to realize that lacking discipline won’t get you anywhere. Push yourself.

Invest in your health, studies, selfcare, and outside activities

These are my top priorities in life. As you age, you’ll realize that these important aspects are what shapes your future the most (To me). So instead of partying with your temporary friends, find some time to focus on yourself. Distance yourself from any sort of distraction that will keep you off track. Wake up early, work out, shower, touch up on your skincare, and munch a healthy breakfast. Spend some time on your extracurriculars, study for a couple of hours, read books, and ensure your body is getting enough time to recharge. This is the healthy lifestyle that I am aiming for as 2025 approaches. I do not want to stay up until 3am drinking, coming home late and not waking up until 11am. A little bit of fun is okay, but that a little bit of fun can be a huge sacrifice. You just don’t realize it. Procrastinating can be just as bad, if not worse.

Realize the two different types of strict parents: Protective or Posessive

If you have strict parents, you might be wondering whether you’re lucky or unlucky. Strict parents would say “we’re just protecting you,” “we don’t want you to fail in life.” That is something both possessive and protective parents would say. Young teenagers, rebellious or not, would say “we developed trust issues because of them,” “I can’t open up because of them,” “I want to move out so badly.” We need to differentiate the difference between the two types of strict parents.

Possessive parents creates rules above boundaries, does not necessarily justify their own actions, does not want to hear their children’s voice, and sometimes only cares about themself. Most possessive parents would not want to hear any protesting or feedback from their children. They would think they are better than everyone else by limiting their kids’ basic freedom. A few examples include tracking every single internet use, forbidding your child to close their doors, or really abusing them as a way of punishment. Most innocent children who were raised by possessive parents would find a hard time opening up. Rebellious children would most likely fall into mental illnesses. Through the children’s perspectives, it is You vs parents vs society.

Protective parents creates rules that aligns best with your safety and goals. Through the children’s perspectives it should be You & parents vs society. Protective parents wants best for their child, promoting self growth, a healthy environment and a brighter future. Yes, protective parents have their own stupid flaws. However, they are simply just wanting to protect you from weird influences. They allow freedom, encourages their kids to speak, finds a good way to deliver morals and lessons, and can be perceived as their best friends. My parents never allowed me to go out alone at night, but they never took my phone without a reason. There, I knew the difference between protective and possessive. 

What Lessons In 2024 did not go as planned? 

Truth to be told, I did not set up goals in December 2023. I did not set up any goals until June. That, however, did not go so well. I am working towards it by starting small and writing down my thoughts.

Gratitude List:

I am gratefull to wake up everyday and find myself in a cozy shelter. What a privilege it is to be bothered by your siblings. What a privilege it is to possess too many clothes. What a privilege it is to have to get up for school every morning. I am grateful for having supportive family members who encourages me to become the best version of myself. I am grateful to have access to various opportunities either digitally or physically. Although 2024 was probably one of my worst year, I still lived a life full of privileges. 

Habits for 2025:

I feel like I am lying to myself when I list down my goals. In 2025, there is no excuse as to why I procrastinate or work on my goals. I need to disconnect myself from those toxic people and know my own intentions. I really need to follow my schedule. I need to be productive, and I will.

To those readers who have really read this far, I don’t even know if I should apologize for this cringe personal blog. It is personal after all, and I’m really just reflecting.

[offsidekineticist]

This one is unusually short, but it feels the right length.

CW: estrangement, ableism, chronic pain, lack of access to medication, very negative self-talk.

Without Results

Qweck has always reminded you of your brother. Her eyes–those bright, golden eyes–were so much like your brother's eyes. Her intensity could easily match your brother's at his most obsessed. Neither were the type to stand aside if there was something out in the world that needed fixing. Qweck was barely 13 when you were struck by the sobering realization that she would leave Brastlewark just as your brother did. At first you were so afraid you would lose her the same way you lost him, lashing out in pain when she left you forever, so you resolved that this time would be different. You had decades to come to terms with her place being beyond Brastlewark, to teach her that her path was hers to tread, and you would love her wherever it led her. And it worked–when she left, you accompanied Qweck to Ostenso, supported her as she petitioned to be accepted into the monastery, and then, when she was accepted, you said your goodbyes and returned home. She didn't write as often as you'd hoped, but you understood: she had her own life now, and you were relieved–and proud–to realize you didn't resent her for it as you had resented your brother. Qweck had left, but she wasn't lost. She still visited you. Still wrote to you. Still loved you.

And now you've gone and fucked it up.

“Pathetic. No self control, no discipline.”

He is not like he was when he left Brastlewark. Like you, he has lost much of the expressiveness of your youth, and what was once a frenetic energy demanding expression through fidgeting and pacing now appears as a coiled spring, carefully controlled but ready to explode at a moment's notice. But his voice is the same. His cadence is the same.

“I'm sorry,” you choke out, and it’s such a pathetic fraction of what you should tell him after what you said all those years ago, but it’s all you can manage when just the sight of him makes your hands hurt and your heart pound and your ears ring.

Your brother sneers at you. “‘Sorry’ means nothing without results. You’ve already proven you can’t change. You just hid behind the bleaching and pretended you had.”

He’s right. He knows he’s right, and so do you. It’s why you never bothered apologizing for your outbursts–how can you say you’re sorry for something you know you won’t stop doing? But you can’t accept that. You’re too broken to accept that, so you feel the rage rise up in you and take control and–

“And you hid behind your armor and your ‘duty’ and just abandoned your people to build a world where we can’t live!” you hiss through grit teeth. “When exactly did you decide you hated yourself so much that anyone like you didn’t deserve to live?”

But your brother is not who he was when he left Brastlewark. Your words don’t pierce him as they did then. He doesn’t fear your disapproval anymore. He doesn’t love you anymore.

“We both know,” he says, rolling his eyes, “that you are wildly extrapolating from your scant knowledge of Axis to justify why my leaving upset you. Why don’t you tell the truth for once, Theoven? Admit what it is that really frightens you?”

A coldness grips your heart, but still you barrel forward, hearing yourself repeat your worst mistakes. “Nothing frightens me anymore! I am a bleachling–the worst thing I could imagine has happened to me, and I’m still here. What do you think you could possibly do to me that would be worse?!”

“‘The worst thing you could imagine?’ Really?” He arches a brow sardonically. “The bleaching was never your worst fear. Your worst fear is one you have, by some miracle, avoided all these years: chasing away everyone who might have been willing to tolerate you. But even miracles must end. You’ve lost Brastlewark, and now you’ve lost Cleric Varnaj in the same way you lost me. How long until you’ve chased the halfling away, I wonder?”

You would clench your fists if they weren’t splinted. “Shut up,” you growl.

“You act like he’s beneath you,” your brother continues. “The fact that he hasn’t left you for that alone is a miracle. Given your reaction to his declaration of love, he likely holds even less affection for you than I do. Most likely he is held here by some guilt over his lies, or some obligation to care for you when you have nobody else. But how long do you think he will last now that he has to tolerate you alone?”

“I said shut up!”

“He’s going to realize soon that he can do better for himself. That he doesn’t have to stay and be treated this way. And when that happens, he will leave. You will be all alone, helpless, worthless, useless. Do you know what I think of that, Theoven?” A shark-like grin spreads across your brother’s face. “I think you’ll deserve it.”

The rage is too much. You need to get it out, but your body isn’t strong enough–it never was before the bleaching, either. That doesn’t mean you won’t try. You spring forward from your bed, reaching for your brother's neck to grab and squeeze until that disgusting smile slips from his face and he realizes what a mistake he’s made becoming your enemy.

You are awake. Arms are wrapped around you as you squirm, what was intended to be a howl of rage instead only a whisper.

“Hey, hey, it’s ok! You’re ok, Thay. You’re ok. It’s just me.”

“Regill?” you whisper.

“It’s me, Thay. It's Gilly.” You relax. Another nightmare, that’s all. You should have realized–words always became too heavy to speak when you saw him in Rivad, of course it was only a nightmare. You’ve already begun to forget what it was about, beyond the fact that your brother was there. You’re safe. Gilly is here, so you’re safe.

Gilly holds your head to his chest, one hand carding through your hair with the other on your shoulder, holding you close. “You’re alright. You’re alright,” he whispers softly, over and over, and you melt into his arms. You’re safe. Gilly is here, so you’re safe.

And then you remember why that should make you feel bad.

During the time apart, you had hoped that in time your feelings would fade. You don’t know if it’s because of everything that’s happened or if you are just innately weak, but you’re even more attached now than you were before. Even beyond the fact that he dresses you and feeds you and assists you in everything including basic bodily functions, you can barely bring yourself to sleep without him. When he goes out to buy food or takes a job, you spend the whole time on the edge of panic, curled up in a fetal position on the bed, wondering if he will come back. So far he always has.

You can’t be like this. You need to be stronger. Someday–someday soon–it’s going to be time for him to ‘pay rent,’ and he will damn another innocent to hell. You refuse to be party to that. You need to be strong enough to tell him no. You need to be strong enough to do the right thing. You need to be strong enough to send him away.

There’s a sudden, painful spasm in your right hand. It’s so intense, even compared to the usual ache, that you can’t help the half strangled moan that comes out of your mouth.

Giliys freezes. “Hands?” he asks. You nod into his chest.

“Hurts,” you whimper, disgusted with your weakness. “Medicine.”

He sighs. “I’m sorry, Thay. I can’t give you more.” You growl at that–actually growl, like an animal. You know why he says this–you don’t have access to medicinal flayleaf, so he’s dosing out an illegal recreational drug for you as a substitute. If the dosage ever goes too high, the drug will start working as intended and cause hallucinations. And given what you tend to see when you hallucinate, it’s probably better to endure the pain. But your hands don’t understand that, and neither does whatever takes over when you get like this.

“Then what use are you?” you watch yourself snap. Giliys starts carding his hand through your hair again, but you’re not having it. You push him away and settle on your side with your back to him, wincing at another throb of pain from your hands.

You hear a quiet sigh. “I’m sorry,” Giliys repeats quietly, almost defeatedly.

“‘Sorry’ means nothing without results,” you say, a faint sense of deja vu washing over you. “Now shut up and let me sleep.” There’s a long pause.

“Okay,” Giliys finally says. “Sleep well, Thay.”

You take a deep breath before closing your eyes. You will sleep through this pain. You will sleep through this anger. You will sleep without his comfort. You will learn to live like this. You will learn to live without him. You have to, or you’ll die.

[aeionastrologyandtarot]

A Fine Buck: Buck Supermoon Full Moon in Capricorn

A Fine Buck: Buck Supermoon Full Moon in Capricorn

Sunday, July 21rd is the Buck Full Moon or the Full Moon in Capricorn. The Buck Moon (also known as the Hay Moon or Thunder Moon) derives its name from season when the young Male deer or “bucks” grow antlers, a time of adulthood and maturation. True to Capricorn’s ruling planet, Saturn, which governs authority, time and maturity, The Buck Full Moon is a time of transition from youth spring to mature summer. First of this year's SuperMoons,it will be unusally luminous and bright . A Supermoon is when the moon is at closest point in its orbit to the Earth. This phenomenon is known as an extreme perigee, lending to the Moon a larger appearance than the normal Full Moon. This will be largest Supermoon( Next one will be in August). Capricorn, cardinal Earth sign, is concerned with personal ambition, rules, boundaries and limits. At its best it can be highly ethical, self-directed, disciplined and industrious. At the worst, it can be callous, selfish, materialistic and abrasive. The Moon is the planet responsible for needs. Nurturing, feeding, emotional security and one’s maternal experiences are governed the Moon. The Moon represents how you pursue, receive and maintain those needs. The Full Moons increases our demands for those needs, urging us to acquire them in the most direct way.

Together, the Full Moon in Capricorn may draw your attention to needs and feelings in an effort to fulfill them. As a hunter/gather what are you lacking for? What is it you’re hungering for? How best to examine your needs and requirements?

Full Moons are times for completions, bringing projects and endeavors to their conclusions or redirecting existing energies to new efforts and enterprises. Full Moons nourish and feed our actions, providing the energy and support to help them develop and grow.

The sign that governs the Moon is Cancer. This management or “Rulership” provides the characteristics we associate with that sign. Because Capricorn is the sign opposite of the sign of Cancer, the Moon, when it travels through Capricorn is at its weakest state or what we in astrology call its ‘detriment”. This means that you can expect greater challenges and demands from this moon during this transit i.e. not getting sufficient nutrition, rest and so forth.

Capricorn, you should view the next three days as a time to take stock of how you feel and what you need. Consider it a time of preparation for your larger aims and ambitions by securing and maintaining that which helps you feel strong and stable

Cancer, examine some of the needs you’ve overlooked or neglected. Your ruling planet in its detriment may make this somewhat challenging but the extra scrutiny and care you take during this transit may make such efforts productive and affirming

Aries and Libra, you may have to review how you’ve dealt with some particular needs in the past to see how you can better address it in the future. You may be inclined to disregard the matter but during the next three days if you devote yourself attending to that need it may prove to be to your profit

The Buck full Moon ushers in a time where we can seek to fulfill our needs with authority and certainty. While it may require dedication and commitment, the Capricorn Full Moon may very well help you acquire that which you need most.

Aeion is a professional astrologer and tarot card reader with 25+ years of experience. His approach is based in the belief that divination should be in employed to enhance ones' life experiences, not to predetermine them. Let Astrology and Tarot be your tools for better living.

[mamamittens]

It's good and bad when I sit on a fic without any official chapter post because it means I can really COOK.

let that shit SIMMER.

Mayhaps I'll start a little document with all the heart shattering details so I don't forget them lol

Uh, maybe shrodinger's spoilers for that Mass Effect Andromeda fic

Since Mia wasn't allowed a lot of high energy activities growing up, she had some more passive outlets for her emotions, per recommendations of an Asari doctor who helped manage her biotic development. Like art and violin as a binding activity with her grandfather that helped learn discipline.

I mean, she also learned a LOT OF BOMB SHIT from her 'retired' bomb squad grandmother, but it was amazing at helping her maintain her composure under pressure. Little danger is good for kids... Maybe not like that tho lol

Anyway, naturally, after Habitat 7, Mia does some art therapy. She claims her first piece in Andromeda is one of her dad accessing the remnant tech, all that orange light and wonder. (Mixed media, because she favored a very particular style hard to replicate in just one medium). Watercolor, ink, and pastel for the highlights.

In reality, late one night, she did one in charcoal wash. Messy and choppy with the only color a haze of blue in the background. Her dad reaching down to take off her shattered helmet, tears in his eyes and determination. Fractured glass spiderwebbing in the corners catching thin slices of the electrified sky.

She doesn't show anyone this picture. It's too... Much. Too raw. Horrible. The moment she realized how much her father loved her. The instant he made his choice.

But despite hiding the picture, someone does find it by accident.

Cora, looking for something else, stumbles across it and is quiet for the rest of the day. She makes her excuses and locks her room that night. She doesn't sleep for a long time, utterly distraught. Guilty.

There will be several moments where I plan on rubbing in Cora's mistake but without these posts it would just come across as her mourning a mentor.

Her quickness to vocally accept Mia as Pathfinder.

(She doubted him once and look what happened.)

Her conflicted support of Scott as 'acting Pathfinder'.

(He couldn't know better than Alec. She didn't.)

Her steadfast attempts to tutor Mia when possible and indulge her whenever she could.

(Her fault Mia's last chance at a normal childhood was shattered like her helmet had been.)

The way she tended to default to Mia's suggestions before Scott's, though even Scott asked his sister for a different perspective often.

Cora is mildly insubordinate to Scott a LOT early on. She almost hates how quick he was to take charge. How certain he is if it means shielding his sister. His confidence despite his lack of experience. Scott is a go getter with no hesitation. A goof ball with a heart of gold, meanwhile all Cora can think of is how it should be her.

And the fact that it would kill Mia to try and pass SAM on doing little to assuage her wounded pride ultimately confirming to herself why Alec must have never considered her fit to lead.

She even resents Alec a little for not putting the Initiative and the literal thousands of colonists before a single kid. But ultimately, as questionable of a man as Alec was, when push came to shove he was willing to be a good father first before being a great Pathfinder.

And Cora couldn't even be a decent second when given the chance.

That stings a lot. And it takes a whole lot more for her to confess any of this.

[acceptedguy]

Blog Post 62: VR PROJECT: Final Thoughts

As this project draws to a close, I want to take a moment to reflect on the journey—what I learned, what inspired me, and where I hope to take things next.   

Closing Thoughts 

It’s never easy to put down the pen and call a project finished—especially one that’s taught me as much as this one has. Despite all its challenges and rough edges, this VR project has been one of the most valuable experiences in my growth as both an artist and a professional. 

From diving headfirst into unfamiliar territory with Virtual Reality to wrestling with some truly unforgiving tech hurdles, these past four weeks have been intense—but also incredibly rewarding. 

Time and Scope Management 

One of my biggest struggles in past projects has always been scope—dreaming big without accounting for time and resources. But this time, I’m genuinely proud of how I approached it. Setting up a clear, realistic timeline at the very beginning helped me stick to a structured workflow and avoid spiraling into feature creep. 

Marking key milestones also helped me stay on track. For example, completing the first major asset—the Trophy Table—not only served as a stylistic benchmark for the whole project, but also gave me the momentum to ramp up development rapidly afterward. 

Trim Sheets: A Game Changer 

Hands down, one of the most valuable technical skills I picked up during this project was the proper use of trim sheets. 

While the trim sheets I used here were relatively simple, they played a massive role in helping me create a highly detailed environment using only three texture sheets—a goal I’m super proud of hitting. This experience added a powerful new tool to my workflow, and I’m excited to push it even further in future projects. 

Lighting the Scene 

Lighting can make or break an environment, and this project really pushed me to experiment and think more intentionally about how I use it. I worked with contrasting lights and played around with bold highlights vs. subtle accent tones to guide the viewer’s eye while still keeping things grounded in the grimdark Warhammer aesthetic. 

Reflections on Collaboration 

One of the most valuable lessons from this project came not just from the technical challenges, but from the collaborative experience itself. Working with Aya Khoury—an incredibly skilled and disciplined artist—offered a mix of inspiration and difficulty. While her creature designs were a great addition to the project, our creative processes and communication styles didn’t align as well as I had hoped. 

This taught me the importance of setting clear expectations early on and maintaining open communication throughout. Not every collaboration will go as planned, but every experience adds something to your growth. As I move forward, I’ll carry these lessons with me—striving to become not just a better artist, but a more thoughtful and adaptable teammate. 

What’s Next? 

This project has made it crystal clear where I need to focus next: 

Trim Sheets (Advanced Techniques) 

Texturing 

Material Nodes & Shader Work 

Of these, texturing is my current Achilles’ heel. While I’m able to produce usable results, I often find my textures lacking that polish and realism needed for truly high-end game-ready assets. In the coming weeks, I’ll be doubling down on this skill—studying industry workflows, replicating AAA materials, and building a new project that really showcases this progress. 

Final Reflections 

This project was an absolute blast—full of small wins, tough lessons, and a handful of setbacks that ultimately helped me grow. It’s surreal to see how far the scene came in just four weeks, and even more satisfying to know that I managed to capture a little piece of the Warhammer 40K universe in VR. 

Huge thanks to Eden Anthony for his ongoing support and technical wisdom, and to Aya Khoury for being a rock-solid creative partner throughout the project. 

Here’s to the next challenge. Onwards and upwards. 

RESOURCES USED:   

Interactive Entertainment Group, Inc. (2023). Interactive Entertainment Group, Inc. [online] Available at: https://interactiveparty.com/product/vr-beat-saber/.  

Darktide (2022). Warhammer 40,000: Darktide - Official Website. [online] Available at: https://www.playdarktide.com.  

Owlcat.games. (2025). Warhammer 40,000: Rogue Trader. [online] Available at: https://roguetrader.owlcat.games [Accessed 13 Feb. 2025].  

Apache.co.uk. (2018). Apache: BARDO Virtual Reality Experience | APACHE. [online] Available at: https://apache.co.uk/work/bardo/ [Accessed 13 Feb. 2025].  

Stealthoptional.com. (2023). Darktide error code 3001 - how to fix ‘Failed joining server’ error. [online] Available at: https://stealthoptional.com/article/darktide-error-code-3001-fix-failed-joining-server-error [Accessed 13 Feb. 2025].  

DiSalvo, P. (2021). The Best Eldritch Invocations In Dungeons & Dragons. [online] TheGamer. Available at: https://www.thegamer.com/dungeons-dragons-best-eldritch-invocations/ [Accessed 13 Feb. 2025]. 

to, C. (2024). War in Heaven (Necron). [online] Warhammer 40k Wiki. Available at: https://warhammer40k.fandom.com/wiki/War_in_Heaven_(Necron). 

Focus-entmt.com. (2023). Space Marine 2 - Focus Entertainment. [online] Available at: https://www.focus-entmt.com/en/games/warhammer-40000-space-marine-2. 

hbitproject (2023). Mastering details in Blender - trim sheets tutorial. [online] YouTube. Available at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1M-GNe_pB9M. 

Sketchfab (2022). Sketchfab. [online] Sketchfab. Available at: https://sketchfab.com/3d-models/spartan-helmeta391427a539e40788432e84835e62e3a [Accessed 10 Mar. 2025].  

Sketchfab (2017). Sketchfab. [online] Sketchfab. Available at: https://sketchfab.com/3d-models/ak47-weathered9d3315806e524acf8f411a9c22442cf6 [Accessed 12 Mar. 2025]. 

 Sketchfab (2023). Sketchfab. [online] Sketchfab. Available at: https://sketchfab.com/3d-models/military-artillery-gun-low-poly-from-scandc18a91f8cee48a5ba6f992cca167131 [Accessed 10 Mar. 2025].  

Sketchfab (2020). Sketchfab. [online] Sketchfab. Available at: https://sketchfab.com/3d-models/war-hornc0bd664d2b9e41398862a2c1c1831cdb [Accessed 10 Mar. 2025]. 

[transpersonalmedicine]

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Safely Participate in psychedelic therapy.

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