#cassadee costner

[kindheart525]

Awhile back, I entertained the idea that Allan Red perhaps had a dysfunctional upbringing, one filled with messes and a lack of personal space that led him to be the extremely organized and independent critter we know and love today. At the time it was a vague concept, but I found it super intriguing and have decided to finally tackle it for myself. If you know any of my MLP work you know I love making family/backstory headcanons like this, so it was only a matter of time before I started doing it with the smiley guys.

The difficulty of Allan’s life started with the divorce of his parents. His father, Red Red (pronounced Ray-d Red), is much like who his son grows up to be: a financially stable critter who organizes his life in spreadsheets and keeps his home very clean. His favorite drink is water and he’s generally boring and unremarkable. Despite this, he is the most hated man in the city. As a lawyer, Red was tasked with defending a critter who was notorious for being charitable and friendly to the whole town…until a legal misstep got him the death penalty. It later came out that that guy was a serial killer (he was executed over a parking ticket) but the damage was done. When he divorced his wife, everyone sided against him in the custody battle, not over his parenting abilities but because of his “crime” of condemning a beloved icon. But also Red’s busy work schedule is not conducive to parenting and he’s generally not great with kids, treating them like mini adults more than anything. He could have fought harder than he did but his lack of emotion contrasted with his ex wife’s heartfelt pleas turned the favor towards her.

Red’s story is kind of silly lol but his ex wife’s is much less so. Despite getting primary custody of her son, Lucy became kind of a wreck after the divorce. She hopped from job to job despite her ex’s generous child support payments, but she was overall managing alright…until she met Kevin Costner (not to be confused with the actor). He was a gruff man but she saw a warm heart in him, especially since he had a son of his own to care for. But in reality, he’s an alcoholic who’s horrible with money and doesn’t pick up after himself. His son Topher is shaping up to be the same way but perhaps worse, as he seems to break things on purpose and scream constantly just for the hell of it. Allan had the misfortune of sharing a bedroom with him in their parents’ tiny house, and he couldn’t get any peace with him around. Topher stole his things and got up in his space and would not give him an inch to himself. Kevin (or “Bastard Kevin” as Allan calls him) disciplined Allan for standing up for himself much more harshly than he ever corrected his son. Lucy made excuses for the both of them and tried to make them bond as a family, but that wasn’t happening. Even when Allan caught her crying about how she’ll never be able to retire or have a clean house, she insisted, and still insists, that Kevin is the love of her life. She couldn’t be convinced to leave him. Nobody was ever hit but it was still a bad situation. Allan, who initially felt the sting of his father’s supposed “abandonment,” quickly put those feelings aside to focus on surviving each day in the Costner household.

To make matters worse—or better, depending on who you ask—Lucy ended up pregnant with Kevin’s baby. Cassadee (legally Casserole because Kevin was drunk filling out the birth certificate) is the apple of her mommy’s eye. Lucy was thrilled to finally have the daughter of her dreams, a girl to balance out the male energy in the house. But to Allan she was just another source of noise and messes, and he was unlucky to be tasked with much of her care since Kevin and Topher were useless and Lucy was barely holding it together. This time only solidified for Allan that he never wanted to be a father. In fact, he wanted to be as far away from children as possible. He wanted to live alone like his father, who he was finally starting to sympathize with.

Allan eventually struck out on his own. He worked his ass through college, financially supported by his father but trying hard to become completely self-reliant and finally pursue his dreams of becoming an engineer. Once he was an adult he did everything to stay out of Mother and Bastard Kevin’s house, not even joining them in quarantine when the pandemic hit. Now Allan is doing well, living each day with relief that he gets to go through life mostly on his own terms. Even the chaos of work usually rolls off of him because at least it’s not like what he grew up with, although he’s very particular about keeping everything in order and can get rather defensive in personal confrontations. Mother and the other Costners still ask him for money, but he doesn’t feel obligated to give them any because Bastard Kevin is guaranteed to drink or gamble it away. 

None of that is Allan’s responsibility anymore. He’s got his own life to live now.

[tabloidtoc]

National Enquirer, April 29

Cover: Lori Loughlin bribe tapes exposed in college cheating scandal 

Page 2: Jennifer Lopez gets cold feet over marrying cheating Alex Rodriguez 

Page 3: Wendy Williams’ divorce ultimatum but husband Kevin Hunter demands $10M to walk away 

Page 4: Liza Minnelli’s gay lover tells all 

Page 5: Tom Selleck settling scores in $10 million tell-all baring his side of Hollywood feuds and broken marriage and stepson drama 

Page 6: Reformed party animal Prince Harry is set for a showdown with wife Meghan Markle over any plans he may have to celebrate their baby’s birth at a drug den bar

Page 7: Meghan Markle rejects dad Thomas Markle’s plea to see her baby 

Page 8: Madeleine McCann’s secret grave found 

Page 9: Child kidnapping is a global epidemic 

Page 10: Hot Shots -- Christie Brinkley, retiring NBA star Dwayne Wade and John Legend and Chrissy Teigen, Katy Perry 

Page 11: Balding Kevin Costner got hair transplant surgery, health-challenged Whoopi Goldberg topping the scales at 260 lbs. 

Page 12: Straight Shuter -- Kris Jenner and producers of Keeping Up With the Kardashians are brainstoriming ways to win viewers back like adding Kathie Lee Gifford, Elton John gifted a diamond earring to Taron Egerton who’s playing Elton in the Rocketman biopic, Serena Williams, Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner’s wedding won’t be anything like Nick Jonas’ over-the-top wedding to Priyanka Jonas, Andy Cohen’s two-month-old son Benjamin is rocking designer duds 

Page 13: Britney Spears’ boytoy Sam Asghari wants out because he’s not thrilled with the prospect of nursing Britney back from the brink again, Kanye West won’t take drugs to control his bipolar disorder because the mind-altering meds change who he is 

Page 14: True Crime 

Page 15: Scott Peterson prison frame-up exposed, murderous Pamela Smart begs to go free 

Page 16: Real Life 

Page 18: Cover Story -- College rigging scandal explodes -- Lori Loughlin bribe bombshell caught on tape 

Page 20: Katie Holmes meets Jamie Foxx’s family, a morning school run turned into a tense showdown between usually cordial parents Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner 

Page 21: Humiliated William H. Macy fed up with Felicity Huffman, Hollywood Hookups -- CNN’s Don Lemon getting hitched to real estate agent Tim Malone, Covert Affairs star Nic Bishop filed for divorce from Claire Smith which would clear the way for him to marry Legends of Tomorrow star Jes Macallan, Survivors stars Joe Anglim and Sierra Dawn Thomas are engaged

Page 23: How to spring clean your life, readers say Britney Spears is still a fit mom 

Page 24: Health Watch 

Page 28: 76-year-old Linda Evans living out her days alone, ER doctors save “Dog the Bounty Hunter” wife Beth Chapman 

Page 32: Nicolas Cage marriage chaplain shocked by annulment and says Cage and bride Erika Koike were sober at quickie Vegas ceremony 

Page 42: Red Carpet Stars & Stumbles -- ACM Awards -- Cassadee Pope, Kacey Musgraves, Miranda Lambert, Maren Morris, Reba McEntire

Page 44: Movie Links -- Can you link Snoop Dogg to Tom Hiddleston without using IMDB?