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aranarumei · 1 year ago

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the anomalous agate (part one) *updated

hey guys. some of you probably wanted to see "two" written there! that'll take a little more time.

for those of you who don't know what the title's about at all, this is my crossover fic for the case files of jeweler richard and sasaki to miyano. specifically, this asks the question of "what if hanzawa masato visited jewelry étranger?"

i wrote the original version of this chapter in like, four days, and this is me doing an actual editing pass. it's not required to read it, as I don't actually add any new information, but I would recommend it. this fic is also posted on ao3, so you can read the updated chapter there, as well

edit: part two | part three | part four | epilogue

without further ado, I'll leave the fic under the cut!

case 2-x: the anomalous agate (part 1)

The longer I worked for the shop, the fewer days arrived when there were no appointments scheduled. As always, Richard seemed unfazed by the lack of customers. I supposed it made sense—this was a shop that only existed on the weekends, after all. He had hired me, but had the two of us not met by chance, it was likely he wouldn’t have hired anyone at all.

Perhaps the reason my employer seemed so content was the fact that he was currently cutting into a delicate slice of tiramisu crepe cake. He ate with almost ethereal grace, and as I somehow hadn’t thought to grab a slice for myself, my mind wandered to the circumstances that had led me to the purchase.

The week before, I had been making Richard’s royal milk tea as usual—I felt somewhat confident in my skills at this point, but there really was no matching a master—and asked him if there was a reason we didn’t serve coffee to customers. It was a common feature of many cafés, after all, and though this place was no longer a café, we still offered things like tea and snacks to customers.

Richard had stared at me like he was waiting for me to figure something out on my own, and after wracking my brain for possibilities, I tried, “We have barley tea and green tea, so it can’t be because you think anything except for royal milk tea won’t do…”

I received a deep sigh for my efforts. Richard arched an eyebrow. “Do you know how much is involved in the process of making coffee?” he asked.

As the coffee I most regularly consumed came from a can, there wasn’t a single response I could give.

That night, I searched up the process of manufacturing and brewing coffee, and quickly found myself beginning to develop a headache. Not only were there many places where coffee beans were grown, the different ways in which coffee was then brewed and what it was paired with felt almost limitless. Searching for espresso machines brought prices well over 15,000 yen, and it was at that point that I began to understand what Richard had conveyed in a single sentence.

Instant coffee could be made without any sense of technique or equipment, but the kind of coffee that set one’s mind at ease was probably the kind that only a real café was capable of. Or a coffee enthusiast, and I was neither. I tried to conjure the image of being offered canned or instant coffee at Jewelry Étranger, and immediately wrinkled my nose. Coffee at a café was meant to be pleasant; I had no desire to remind myself of what it felt like to work night shift after night shift as a security guard. Any comfort the scent had brought was overwhelmed by its bitter necessity. The caffeine might have kept me awake, but it had worsened the quality of my sleep.

Still, though I had given up the idea of introducing coffee to our drink selection, I must not have completely forgotten about it, because the next time I stepped into a bakery, their offering of a tiramisu crepe cake caught my immediate attention.

I’d had tiramisu only once during a birthday in junior high. Birthdays when I was younger were a melancholy affair—they were small, intimate celebrations that reminded me of the insignificance of my life. It was the same feeling as lighting a candle in pure dark—loneliness shined more under small points of light. But my mother had always remembered to buy a cake year after year, no matter the circumstances. While she had already developed a taste for coffee, I still considered it something that was a bitter, awful drink that adults actually enjoyed. But after some firm persuasion from my mother, I reluctantly dug in.

Add enough sugar, and bitter mellows into sweet. I knew that now, but as a child I had been given an experience akin to magic. Even years after the fact, I could still recall the light and sweet taste accompanied by the delicate hints of coffee and chocolate.

Remembering it now, it was hard to explain why I hadn’t had one in such a long time, but I hadn’t developed the habit of searching out cafés, bakeries, and sweet shops until I started working at Jewelry Étranger, either. Food simply tasted better as of late.

This bakery in particular was a favorite of mine—it felt like every time I entered, there was still some sweet I had yet to try. And encounters like these, where it felt like little parts of my life were slotting together in serendipitous fashions, were becoming far more common. It was obvious in the way I’d found out about Tanimoto-san’s love for rocks and minerals, as well as her friend Shinkai-san’s dance company, or, in a more negative light, Hase-san visiting at the exact time I happened to be in the back of the shop, but when I told Richard this, he simply brushed it off.

“The more knowledge and experience you acquire, the more the world reveals itself to you,” he said. “Department stores existed before you began working here, but only once you took an interest in diamonds did you notice the kinds of jewels they sold. The girl you wish was your girlfriend had an interest in minerals long before you began to. That was not fate—it was the fact that the more you learned, the more you could find commonalities or points of connection in the world around you.” He paused. “You, in particular… I would guess that you run into so many coincidences because you’re unable to turn your back.”

He was correct. The more people that visited Richard’s store, the more that I came to knew about the world. I had liked Tanimoto-san before I had met Richard, and she had loved rocks and minerals for far longer. But because I had been able to meet with Richard—and that was an encounter that could have only been fate—I’d gained awareness of a part of the world that had always existed, just not in my eyes. The more I learned about jewels, the more I treasured various things.

So that Saturday, I entered the bakery again, bought a slice, and arrived at Jewelry Étranger with an offering.

“…I still won’t give you a raise, you know,” Richard said.

As always, he looked beautiful. I had the feeling that he’d be annoyed if I told him the purchase was due to a bottomless kind of gratitude.

“I know.” At this point, I wondered if I needed to directly tell him how he paid far more than what I earned as a security guard. But I’d already turned down a job offer to stay here, so he must have known that I felt as if the work I was doing here was infinitely more valuable.

Since we’d had this kind of exchange quite a few times before, Richard tried the tiramisu crepe cake without much fuss. It was obvious he was enjoying it—perhaps his face hadn’t cracked out into a smile or anything of the sort, but there was always a serene look on his face when he was enjoying sweets.

As he ate, a question popped to mind: “Say, Richard, have you had real tiramisu in Italy before?”

Richard paused between bites. “Do you mean to ask if I’ve had authentic tiramisu?”

“Well, you just seem as if you’ve been everywhere in the world…”

Rather than tell me if he’d spent time in Italy or not, Richard began to speak about the conflicted meaning of the word ‘authentic.’

“Tiramisu is Italian in origin, but the exact nature of how it was first produced is still up for debate. As we recognize it today, it certainly does not come in the nature of a crepe cake, but—” He paused again. “Grab yourself a fork, would you?”

I stared at him blankly as he deliberately placed his fork down on his plate. The last few bites of the tiramisu crepe cake remained untouched, and only when he tilted his head in confusion did I rush to the kitchen in realization.

When I returned, Richard continued speaking without commenting on my lack of wits. “Something being authentic indeed means it is the real thing—a genuine article. Authenticity is also related to truth—in art, the style of realism is grounded in an attempt to depict life authentically, without alterations or embellishments. For gemstones this is a fairly simple thing to classify—jewels are mined from specific places, so we designate that which is naturally-occurring as authentic. This runs in opposition as to imitation jewels, which are made from a different material, and approximate the look of a jewel without matching its innate qualities. The question of authenticity also is relevant when looking at heat treatment—pigeon blood rubies that haven’t undergone heat treatment are more valuable, because they have acquired the color naturally, yes?”

I nodded in agreement, reminded of Tanimoto-san’s opinion on heat treatment. She probably prized the authenticity of a gem—the one-of-a-kind nature each jewel had. I understood her feelings, but I also thought there was some kind of wonder in the process of polishing and cutting and heat treatment—each step gave a jewel a special kind of shine. But beauty was the kind of thing where opinions differed often.

I couldn’t imagine anyone disagreeing about Richard’s beauty. “You’ve forgotten to actually put your fork to use,” he said, and I startled out of my daze to hurriedly take a bite.

As expected, the tiramisu crepe cake was both light and sweet. The texture of crepes was certainly different from what I’d eaten as a child, but both carried that sense of pure delicacy—each layer felt like cotton-candied air. Though it didn’t smell like coffee, there was indeed the warm, rich undertone of what I’d come to understand as coffee’s flavor. If I could spend a birthday just like this… it would be a treasure of a memory.

Richard’s lips curled. “How is it?”

I made sure to properly swallow before I replied. “It’s delicious,” I marveled. “I don’t know why I’d forgotten the taste.”

“When you make rice at home, would you consider that rice real or authentic?” Richard asked. When I nodded, still chewing on my final bite of cake, he then asked, “Why?”

Maybe I would buy tiramisu on the way home. Or gift some to Hiromi—I could only assume that my birthday all those years ago was the last time she’d had tiramisu, too. “Well, because it’s rice,” I said. “I bought the rice grains, didn’t I? They were grown naturally. And then I cooked them.”

“If you acquired the exact ingredients required for tiramisu, and followed the same exact process as the original—though there are debates at to what the original is—would you still say that was authentic?”

I frowned. “I… suppose I would? Since everything is exact.” Was there a loophole I was missing?

“Perhaps,” Richard said. “Because it is hard to pinpoint its specific origins, what tiramisu qualifies as authentic can be hard to judge. Though the base components and methods are the same, the exact specifics differ—some may consider any tiramisu that follows the general process to be authentic, while others may not. In the case of champagne, unless what you think of champagne is made in the Champagne region of France, it cannot legally be called by that name. Even if the sparkling wine that is created is similar in taste, or uses the same process and ingredients, if the grapes are not sourced from that region, it will not be champagne.”

“Even though it’s possible to make an equivalent product?”

“You could, indeed, make a very close match,” Richard said. “But it would legally not be authentic. Can you think of a reason why someone might want a name of a food protected?”

When phrased like that, the answer arrived to me immediately. “Brand protection,” I said. “Because the idea of champagne is precious, if other winemakers started selling something labelled as champagne, it would lose some of its prestige. By controlling what can be called champagne, they retain control over the production and image of champagne.”

“Good for you,” Richard said, and I bit down a smile. “Authenticity holds a different value for many people and many things. All that aside… this tiramisu crepe cake remains delicious.”

“It is,” I agreed, and then began to make him tea.

The rest of the day passed by in peace. Richard read from his collection of books, blond hair glittering under the sharp sun. I busied myself by cleaning the kitchen and running out to complete a few errands. The movement was helpful; the chill of autumn had settled in, and I had made the mistake of dressing far more lightly than Richard. His choice of wear likely made it easy for him to sit still, but I thought that even if he was wearing his suit in a blizzard or a tropical summer, he would seem as even-keeled as ever. That was the beauty of jewels—they were something that was gorgeous from all angles.

Around a half hour before closing time, the intercom buzzed.

Richard set down his book, and I went to let in our surprise customer.

Accompanied by a brush of cold wind, a young man stepped into the shop. He had a slim frame, but despite being dressed as lightly as I was, showed no signs of being sensitive to the cold. His hair was slightly long in the front, bangs barely cropped above his eyes, but it was trimmed evenly. He was dressed casually yet neatly in a simple powder-blue sweater, gray slacks, and loafers.

The door closed behind him, and he glanced around the room once before asking, “This is a jeweler’s store, correct?”

“You’d be right,” I said, guiding him to sit in one of the red armchairs.

His hesitant expression curved into a full-faced smile. As he sat down, the awkward lines of his body began to bleed away, and he relaxed into the chair with an air of steady self-assurance. His pose remained polite, though—he kept his hands carefully folded over his lap, and his ankles were loosely crossed.

Originally, I had wanted to give him something to soothe his nerves, but it looked like that was unneeded. Still, I asked, “Would you like something to drink?”

“Ah… that milk tea would be nice, if you don’t mind,” the man said, gesturing to Richard’s teacup.

Richard returned from the bookshelf, taking over the process of greeting our newest customer, and I headed back to the kitchen. Both men spoke in clear tones, so even though they spoke at a medium volume, their voices carried well enough.

“…Richard Ranasinghe de Vulpian? Is it alright to call you Richard-san, then?” He spoke the name slowly, but he pronounced Richard’s full name without fumbling.

“Yes, that’s alright. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too, Richard-san. I’m Hanzawa Masato. Apart from gemstones, do you also sell jewelry at this place?”

“Indeed, we do. Is there something in particular you’re looking for?”

I returned to see Hanzawa-san wearing a thoughtful expression on his face. His gaze flickered towards me as I reentered the room. “I was hoping to look at stud earrings… and I’d prefer if they weren’t prohibitively expensive, I suppose. Is there anything else I should specify?”

“Are there any kinds of stones you’re interested in looking at? Or a particular occasion or style this is meant for?”

When I drew close enough, Hanzawa-san turned to face me and accepted my tea, eyes still curved in a pleasant smile. “It’s something like a birthday gift, I suppose. As for stones… I’m not too knowledgeable regarding them.” He paused in contemplation.

Choosing a gift was always a complicated thing, in my opinion. For a gift, the trouble never ended at the purchase—it was always at the gifting that the issues arose. Would they understand the gift with the same meaning that I had in mind when I picked it? I thought about my grandmother and mother choosing my name. Was I the type of person they’d had in mind? I could only hope that was the case.

“I guess… something neutral would be best? The kind of earring fit for daily work wear.”

“Are you interested in looking at birthstones?”

Hanzawa-san sipped his tea, eyes fluttering shut in thought. “Not particularly.”

I had spent enough time with Richard to catch the traces of concern on his face, but not enough to understand the reason. “It will take some time for me to bring my selections out. Please enjoy your tea while you wait,” he said, and then he was off, a determined crease to his brows.

Though I didn’t know exactly what was troubling him, I could learn. Surely Richard wouldn’t mind if I made some small talk?

“Might you also be a university student, Hanzawa-san?”

Hanzawa-san waved dismissively. “It’s only my first year, so I think I’m younger than you. I know I’m a customer, but there’s no need to be formal. Your name is…?”

“Nakata Seigi,” I said. “I’m in my second year.”

“I was right, then,” Hanzawa said. He’d passed over both Richard and my name without comment. I’d expected him to end the conversation there, staying as restrained as he had with Richard, but he spoke to me freely. “Would I be right in saying you seem more interested in jewels as compared to jewelry?” At my confusion, he gestured to my neck, ears, and hands, which were bare of any accessories. “You don’t seem to wear any, so I’d wondered…”

“I suppose it’s the jewel itself that interests me,” I admitted. “Is it the opposite thing for you?”

“Most likely,” Hanzawa said. “It’s what I have experience in, anyways.”

At my once-again befuddled expression, Hanzawa brushed back his hair, and I caught sight of six piercing holes in his left ear.

“I see…” I replied, a little stunned. Now that I knew what to look for, it was easy to spot a few of his piercing holes even when his hair wasn’t brushed back.

Richard had probably noticed them from the moment he’d walked in.

Now that I thought about it clearly, a birthday gift could be presented to oneself, couldn’t it? Just like Yamamoto-san trying to buy herself a garnet. Guys with piercings weren’t all that uncommon in my university, too, but none of them seemed like the type to buy jewels in Richard’s store. Then again, Hanzawa looked so mild-mannered that the existence of his piercings alone was a surprise, so I took this fact in stride.

In the same way that I’d only noticed the tiramisu in that bakery after asking Richard about coffee, it was only now that I realized the reason for Richard’s concern. If it was a present for himself, the uncertainty to Hanzawa’s answers was troublesome.

“If I could ask…” I prompted as Richard returned to the table.

Richard set down his tamatebako with a harder than usual thud. He was still frowning, though maybe more obviously than before.

“Sure.”

“Is there a reason a guy as young as you has so many piercings?”

Before I could get a response, I jumped at the sharp click that sounded at my side. Richard had opened up his tamatebako.

Hanzawa kept smiling up at me. He took a long sip of his tea, and then directed his attention towards what Richard had selected.

I leaned over to take a look. As I did, Richard shot a pointed glare towards me. What? I mouthed back, but he ignored me.

The stones Richard had picked were split between gemstones with faceted cuts and cabochons. The studs themselves were made of a simple silver backing, with the stone fitted on top in a rounded or squared shape. The exceptions to this were the studs fitted with lapis lazuli, which were backed with gold. While I recognized the diamond and amethyst, there were a few colored stones in faceted cuts that I wasn’t certain I could identify. But the ones that caught my attention were the larger stud earrings, which were fitted with polished stones that didn’t sparkle but had bands of red, terracotta, and peach striped across its surface. Others had the same banding pattern but in soft grays and whites.

“These are beautiful,” Hanzawa said, smile fading into a look of deep consideration. He leaned forward to study each one. “Diamonds are a classic choice,” he mused.

“You mentioned that you might prefer a neutral color,” Richard explained, “The clear color of a diamond is well-suited to that purpose. They might be a little above your price point, but if you enjoy the look of them, there are various alternatives you can seek out.”

“I see,” Hanzawa said. He gestured to the rest of the jewels. “I recognize the amethyst. And the… lapis lazuli, yes? Seeing it in person, it certainly is a vivid kind of blue,” he commented. “But I’m a little unfamiliar with the rest of these gems. Would you mind explaining them?”

“Of course,” Richard said. “The green stone you see here is peridot, and the stones in yellow and orange shades here are citrine. Like amethyst, it is a type of quartz. This”—he pointed to a deep orange stone— “is heat-treated amethyst, which looks quite similar. The banded stones are agate. They are a mix of quartz and moganite—both have an equivalent chemical composition, but different crystal structures.”

I hadn’t heard of moganite until now—unless I was mishearing morganite, but Richard had such wonderful pronunciation I thought that was impossible.

Despite the overload of information, all Hanzawa did was nod in understanding. “Peridot,” he repeated to himself, a curious look in his eyes. “I don’t think I’ve seen any before.”

The stone he was looking at was a sparkling kind of lime green. “It’s like the color of spring,” I said.

“Yes,” Hanzawa agreed, and bowed his head, suddenly bashful. “It’s… well, it’s a color I’m fond of,” he admitted.

“Spring is a wonderful descriptor,” Richard said. “Peridot tends to come in lighter shades than most emeralds, and it far more affordable. Would you like to see more?”

Hanzawa shook his head. “…No, it’s not really… well-suited for me.” After considering the other stones before him, he pointed to the lapis lazuli. “What does this get its gold flecks from?”

“Lapis lazuli is composed of several different minerals, and a common one happens to be pyrite, which is what creates that gold color. As you mentioned, the blue of lapis lazuli is quite vivid, which is why, historically, it was ground to create ultramarine. Before a synthetic alternative was created, it was an extremely expensive and prized paint.”

Hanzawa smiled down at the stones. “I’ve heard of ultramarine. Isn't it what provides the blue shades in many of Johannes Vermeer’s works?”

I made a note to ask Richard who Johannes Vermeer was later. Richard’s clients often spoke of things I wasn’t knowledgeable about, but this was the first time it had happened with someone so close to my age—though it wasn’t like people my age often visited this shop in the first place.

“You would be correct. Blue pigments were otherwise hard to come by, so his work is well-known for his use of ultramarine.” After a pause, Richard added, “If you are looking for something neutral, blue tends to be a color that pairs well with others.”

“Oh, that’s—I’ll keep it in mind,” Hanzawa said. Haltingly, he asked, “Is jewelry made of lapis lazuli—is it quite common?”

“Compared to the rest of these stones, it’s a bit of a more delicate material,” Richard allowed, “so it has to be carefully looked after. But historically, lapis lazuli has been used in all kinds of jewelry.”

“…Is that so.”

Silence dragged on between them. Hanzawa seemed unbothered by it, though it was hard to see much of his expression from above. Even face to face, his bangs and lashes expertly obscured his eyes without actually hiding them.

“…This agate. I feel like I’ve seen stones with this banding before.”

“Banding is characteristic but not exclusive to agate,” Richard said. “It has been used for carvings as well as jewelry and remains popular today. Each piece of agate has differences in how exactly the banding occurs, so one could say that each piece is truly unique.”

“Unique…” A ghost of uncertainty appeared on Hanzawa’s face, but it was gone in a flash. “Does it come in any other colors?”

“Oftentimes agate will be dyed into various colors, but there are some other colors present in naturally occurring agates. Would you like to see them?”

“Surely that dyed agate is prettier, huh?” Hanzawa murmured, so low I barely heard him. Apropos of nothing, he then straightened up, looking flustered. “Sorry,” he said. “I think—I think I’m a little in over my head.” He drank the last of his tea in disconcerting silence. “And it’s near closing, anyways,” he added.

“If you’d like to come back, we take appointments,” I said.

“…Right,” Hanzawa said, eyes still fixed on the sets of earrings before him. He set his teacup down on the table. “What would be a good time?”

“Sunday, 4PM?” Richard suggested, and Hanzawa agreed.

With that settled, Hanzawa thanked me for the tea, bid a polite goodbye to us both, and exited the shop, leaving another gust of crisp air in his wake.

Hanzawa had been right—it was now closing time. I went to collect the now empty teacups, only to find Richard looking up at me expectantly.

“What?” I asked.

He sighed. “Nothing that concerns you, I suppose.”

“By the way, who’s Johannes Vermeer?” I asked, ignoring the faint irritation in his voice.

“Have you ever seen a picture of Girl with a Pearl Earring?” Richard asked.

A vague portrait sprang to mind. “He was the artist?” I confirmed, and then went to wash the teacups.

When I returned, Richard hadn’t moved from his seat. Rather than close it and return to his room of jewels, he was staring at his open tamatebako.

I took a seat next to him. “Thinking about our client?”

“…Jewels reflect the inner feelings of a person,” he said after a long silence. “I wonder how to convey that truth to a person like him.”

“Is it harder because he’s young?” I asked, unsure what Richard thought Hanzawa was like. I didn’t even have enough information to describe Hanzawa as like anything. “Well, Hajime-kun was much younger, but his circumstances were different…”

“You’re quite young yourself,” Richard commented dryly. “Aren’t you two the same age?”

“If we went to the same university, I’d be his senpai,” I said. “Still. It’s rare. I thought he’d be more nervous.”

“…I don’t think he wasn’t nervous,” Richard said, but when I prodded him for an explanation, he didn’t elaborate.

“Well,” I said, wondering how I could clear those worry lines from his face, “we’ll see him next week.”

“Maybe,” Richard said, and this, I didn’t need him to explain.

If Hanzawa Masato came in next week at the appointed time, or if he had disappeared out that door for forever, it was impossible to know.

#my writing #kiri.txt #cfojr #hanzawa to tashiro #hanzawa masato #the case files of jeweler richard #i just KNOW i'm going to post this and find some grammar or spelling mistake i didn't catch and. I'm just going to have to live with that #jeweler richard

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whumpshaped · 2 years ago

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Drabble #7

inspo masterlist

trigger warnings: past trauma, scars

Andrina didn’t mind the weight of Len’s head on its lap. It felt comforting, like a weighted blanket, and it seemed to help the other relax, which was always a positive. It was reading a book on gardening, a new hobby it’d picked up lately, and it regularly tilted it in a way so that Len would be able to see the pictures.

“What’s that?” he asked, pointing at one of the colourful images. “Not the lavender. I recognise lavender. The other one.”

“It’s bee balm! Isn’t it so pretty?” Andrina smiled, its eyes wandering to Len’s face and catching on a scar it had never seen before. Its smile wavered despite its best efforts.

“What is it?” Len tensed up immediately, as he usually did whenever the mood shifted. Andrina could understand that and tried not to concern him, but it was hard to do with someone so fine-tuned to every little change in atmosphere.

“I haven’t seen that scar before.” It kept its tone soft, trying to convey that it wasn’t mad, only… saddened. New scars and marks kept popping up as Len became more and more comfortable changing clothes, wearing short sleeves, maybe even allowing the others to help with bandaging - but this one was right on his face. It was just a faint line by now, stretching from his eyebrow to the middle of his forehead, something Andrina could only tell as it brushed his hair aside.

“Ah…” He smiled awkwardly, unsure of how to react.

“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. We can ignore it. I’m sorry.”

“No, I mean… It’s just a scar.” It was not just a scar, based on the pained look on his face.

“If you don’t want to talk about it, we really don’t have to.”

“No, I’ll just say it, it doesn’t matter.” He was still stalling, looking at the ceiling past Andrina’s head, babbling on about how it wasn’t a big deal when it clearly was. It put the book aside, gently petting his hair to help ease the anxiety. “Kalysta never paid attention to where… blows would land, you know? I wish they- well, I wish they would’ve at least tried to put the scars in places where they were easy to cover up. This one is still one of the more pleasant ones, actually.” He gave a small, dry chuckle. “It’s just from falling. They hit me so hard that I lost my balance and fell in a really stupid way. I hit my head on a table. I guess it wasn’t Kalysta’s fault.”

Andrina didn’t say anything. As an outsider, it was pretty obvious that it was their fault, given that they were the one who hit him. But it never really argued about these things. Len would have to decide for himself what was and wasn’t his owner’s fault, just as Pacey and it did with Ora. They had agreed to disagree on many fronts.

“It doesn’t really show,” it said in the end. “I only just noticed it, and you’ve been living with us for a while now.”

“Once you see it, you can’t unsee it. And I know it’s there. It’s annoying. I can’t even look in the mirror without-” He left the sentence hanging in the air, unfinished. He was choking back tears, Andrina could tell, and it broke its heart. “Well, doesn’t matter now. Tell me more about bee balm instead?”

“Of course.” It picked up the book again. “You can flavour jelly with the crushed leaves of it, you know. I should make some of that.”

taglist: @ashh-ed @whumpsday @whump-queen @rainbows-and-whumperflies

#whump #whump drabble #recovery #scars #past trauma

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rosirinoa · 2 years ago

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Linger

Author’s notes:

This is my first inquisition fanfiction, and I finally got enough courage to write about Sollavelan, my favorite ship. I hope you like it.

Please, consider that in this story, Lavellan is a warrior and I used the standard name given by the game: Ellana. Also, I came up with the general concept of the story with the song Linger by the Cranberries, although it’s no necessarily an ost or a songfic, but the melody could set the mood.

Enjoy!

Before

Chaos, destruction, uncertainty and fear was what the breach in the veil caused, not only in Thedas, but the rest of the world as well, along with its inhabitants. The world had never faced such catastrophe before, which is saying a lot in a realty where the blight, demons and wars are constant worries.

It seemed that it actually was the end of the world, and in the middle of all confusion, Ellana Lavellan was surprised, while fighting for her life along with Cassandra, by a hand firmly holding her wrist.

“Quickly, before more come through!” with an urgent voice, an elf that she had never seen before took her hand, pointing it towards the rift above them. Everything happened so fast, that the only thing Ellana remembers from that moment, was the tickling in her hand when she closed the rift. That and the elf’s gaze: Solas, whose eyes conveyed peace and certainty.

She was confused; how could she had closed the rift when she was no mage?

Solas’ theory turned out to be quite convincing and his kind attitude towards Ellana transmitted her trust. That was the exact moment when her interest towards the apostate began, and without knowing it, she had the same effect on him.

In retrospective, it’s possible that the inquisitor romanticized the memories of their first meeting, but she is still pretty sure that, the moment their eyes met, her heart beat faster.

At first, Solas was rather private and wary with everyone around him, including Ellana, but slowly, the mage got a pleasant surprise when he found out she was genuinely interested in what he had to say, his experiences in the fade, his dreams and elven ancient history, and without noticing, he began to see her differently.

In many occasions he caught himself looking at her, when his eyes lingered more than necessary on her expression when she spoke or thought carefully about something; her hair moving while she fought or the wind made it dance exquisitely, or even her figure when she walked in front of him during expeditions, and when she casually passed by his post in Haven, heading to talk with Dorian, smoothly wiggling her hips, so attractive in his eyes. Sometimes he felt rather disappointed when he realized he was not the one she was coming to see… at last at first.

Lavellan tried to be as discreet as possible, deliberately avoiding looking at Solas when he walked around Haven, or during a mission in Redcliff or Creestwood, but when she spoke with him, it was impossible to not notice the freckles on his nose or the was his eyes lightened when he talked about the veil, not to mention his smile, which she unconsciously imitated when she saw it, doing her best efforts to not let her eyes linger too much on his lips.

And all those glances didn’t go unnoticed by Varric, who as a good writer, took note of all those longing gazes, full of desire and flirt, despite their best efforts to not being so obvious with their persisting eyes, always on each other.

For Solas, Ellana Lavellan was a thought that used to slip into his mind during the most inconvenient times: before falling asleep, while he was taking a hike or even traveling in the fade, imagining that maybe someday he could show her those places he visited during his dreams, ruins that told wonderful stories of the past, images lost in time, which could get a different meaning with her company.

On the other hand, she constantly thought about new and interesting questions for him, so she could listen to his voice and tales, wondering what could be interesting for him or a way to get his attention; a small distraction in the middle of all that was happening in Thedas.

Later came the innocent and accidental touches, when one of them passed next to the other too close during a hike in the woods and their hands brushed for an instant that lingered too much, or when one of them needed a potion and their fingers briefly met, both elves trying to make the moment last for as long as they could, until one afternoon after closing a rift with particularly violent and vicious demons, Solas ended up hurt. Being at least a day away from the next village, without enough healing items and him being the only mage in the party, everyone had to tend to their wounds without the help of magic.

Once the camp was set, Cassandra and Varric took care of their own wounds on their legs and arms, while Ellana took care of Solas, who apparently had a deep cut on his back. At first, she was worried about how bad the wound could be, but when the mage took off his tunic and shirt, she immediately wanted to run her fingertips along his back. With slow movements, she cleaned the injury and when it stopped bleeding, she made sure to apply an ointment that could inhibit the pain, her fingers softly touching the mage’s skin, feeling the warmth on his back, which she though was the result of the wound and the pain he was feeling. Nevertheless, the truth was different. Solas shivered very time the other elf’s fingers softly touched his shoulder and upper back, forgetting about the pain for a moment and enjoying her touch, careful and delicate.

He was sure his blush showed on his face and ears, and was silently grateful their companions were rather busy patching up their own wounds and cuts. He wished the contact with the girl continued longer. Solas enjoyed every chill and goose bump he felt, keeping it in his memory forever, while she tried to make the moment last for as long as she could, her fingers lingering on his back.

One night, it was Ellana’s turn to watch over the camp, while the rest of the party slept, but the presence of the elven apostate remained until very late hours, next to her and the fire. He didn’t take his turn to sleep, exchanging it for the chance to enjoy the girl’s company. And then he thought he was unnecessarily lingering there, with her. A luxury he could enjoy once in a while, appeasing his fears of loneliness.

#solavellan #Solavellan Hell #Solas #inquisitor lavellan #dragon age inquisition

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lemari-be · 2 years ago

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Was messing around, playing some tracks from the OMORI ost on the piano earlier ('Do you remember?' in particular) and damn, I still become an emotional mess when I play certain ones. It got me in the mood to just pour my thoughts out.

'By Your Side' and 'Dear Little Brother' are two of the three tracks that broke me. I like to think that 'By Your Side' was composed by Mari for Sunny. A little piece to show him she'll always be there to have his back. (If you've read my fic Bask in the Sun this isn't something new for you). As it plays everytime you spot Mari after entering a new “level”, the game makes it clear this song is Mari's, there's importance to it. A rather pleasant tune, with a joyful tone, perfect fitting for the image of a picnic to be honest. And then you have that heart-wrenching scene where 'Dear Little Brother' plays, only it's... the melody. It's nice to hear, but there's something cathartic yet lonely in the sound now. I've tried to figure out if this is due to the effect of the scene it plays, but no. It's so beautiful to listen to, and you feel like it's going to lead you to somewhere that's needed the more you listen to it...

'OMORI' has to be my favorite piece of music this game offers, and one of my top game ost of all time and I know it'll stay that way. A little backstory about this particular one. Before I even played the game, I put a video for background music as I studied. The video's title contained the phrase “to help you sleep/relax” so I thought hey, sounds good, that's what I need right now, something relaxing so I clicked. While I absolutely enjoyed the music I was listening to, I have to admit, the experience was really something else after I had already completed the game.

So all is good, chill tracks in general, some bitterness to some, some were a bit on the melancholy side and then OMORI plays. No joke, I had to double check if the video in question had changed – ended and another one was playing now – I just couldn't believe this music was from the same game as the previous ones were. It was just such a different sound in quality and feel that it really took me by surprise. Nothing could've been done better about this one, it's literally perfect. The distorted sounds you hear in the background accompanying it during the fight somehow makes it work even more. All the feelings it wants to convey, it does, it punches you in the gut and you can feel the dread and despair of the moment as Sunny fights to finally let go and properly go on.

#rambling again #i just love the ost too much #omori ost

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squidincsstuff · 1 month ago

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Yeah, uh-huh, caliche

let's be honest, I can't get you off my mind

moving on and staying stuck is like I can just cannot decide.

We made the perfect couple because we're both

one-of-a-kind. Yes, no .well maybe. Should we give this another try?

I'm having trouble handling all these pictures I see online,

so I close my eyes and drift away and just wish that I was blind.

We might have work if we had met at a different time,

but we'll never know.

I've stopped looking for things I'll never find.

I'm giving this my all as I'm trying to follow my calling,

and as I am talking about the times I have triumphed, I have fallen.

I try to smile but I'm not the one who pretend.

Look, I wrote you a million texts I just never hit send.

I'm not trying to hear that I'm better off without you.

Cleary you don't understand that there is just something about you.

I don't have the time,

I'm busy taking an early grave.

I sat around waiting for something that never came.

I'm dead inside, as I exhale the coldest breath.

It's hard to accept the present when your life is so full of regrets.

At moments I just want to end it all,

diminish through the stress,

but God will whisper quietly that he's not finished with me yet.

But our relationship lately is non-existent

because anything I talk about, I fear he doesn't listen.

Am I being tested? Am I being heard?

The last time that I prayed I was yelling at the words

"f you and this entire concept and this idea of love!"

Take me back to how it used to be.

I like it the way it was back when everything was simple,

no responsibilities.

Now it's nothing but drama and honestly it is killing me.

Silent screams turn into Survivor dreams.

I always share my story but I'm as private as can be.

I'm staring at this blank page like fuck it, it can write itself.

I do this s alone so f it I don't ever need your help.

Forget it I don't need it.

The struggles that I'm dealing with there has to be a

meaning. Everything I'm going through there has to be a reason.

Failure is the only topic untilthe moment I succeeded.

I told you from the gate,

I would always be there by your side and even

though we don't speak, what I said, it still applies.

Challenges with bridges I have crossed,

it's crazy to think I can deal with

death better than I can deal with loss.

My listeners know me more than my friends do.

I've caused so much damage but I never really meant to.

I never cared about opinions from anyone else but people have more

faith in me than I have in myself

THIS is me I never plagiarized the script.

Learning to love myself again has been my greatest gift.

All these images of me and you, you and I.

regardless of what has happened, understand I truly tried.

You're one of the most gorgeous girls that I have ever seen before.

When it came to the attention, I was begging till my knees were sore.

I gave you a piece of my heart. You gave me a piece of yours,

until we parted ways, both of us thinking that we needed more.

Yes, I got you.

I'm the one to defend your back.

I will always be your number one fan, always remember that.

I'm giving you the vision of a twisted,

manic depressive suppressing my confessions,

masochistic randomly Pleasant Expressions that are essential.

My journey never was less than,

experiences, at first, convey it through my messages.

You're special. Don't let anyone ever tell you different.

I promise you these intentions were good and never malignant.

Be proud of yourself for everything you've fought through.

The only thing that these other girls

have in common is that they're not you.

so go and get everything that you want and nothing less,

because you deserve the world, yeah, you deserve the best.

These mistakes were only mine, and I own.

Before I feel this pain again I'd rather die alone.

You're the one of the most beautiful souls I have ever known.

I travel such a dark, hideous, gruesome, and lonely road.

I almost called you just to hear your voice,

but then I threw the phone, thinking "what's the point?".

No chemical could ever fill this void.

only you

'Cause you're my drug of choice

#depressing shit #tw depressing thoughts #emotional #painful #actually bpd #mental health #personal #muisc #hate myself

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tlplayground · 7 months ago

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Nagao Kei - MIRROR | Lyrics Translation

youtube

I love this so much!!

Already loved it the moment Nagao posted the preview the day before the release, but at the same time I was a bit wary too. What if I don't like the full version (this is just me not wanting to get my hopes up too much lol).

But turns out I worried over nothing. As shown in the preview, of course there's Nagao's strong and clear vocal, which I've liked since the moment I heard FuKeiZai's Tsugai Kogarashi cover. But turns out I also really like the arrangement, lyrics, and story.

When I first read the video description, I was quite surprised. The original concept of the song actually came from Nagao himself!? It's a really pleasant surprise. Also the theme of trying to conform to society's expectation and losing sight of yourself really hits home tbh lol. And the release timing nicely fits the moment fresh graduates are starting their first week of work.

Anyway, congrats on the original song release and thank you Nagao!

The concept of the MV itself is interesting, it's like a video manga. So I will be posting the TL for both the lyrics and manga below (the post got too long lol, posting the manga TL on a separate post). Please listen to the song and go through both, the lyrics and story are so good and I think many people can resonate with it.

Lyrics translation:

You, who live in the mirror You’re the image I’m after, You’re the definition of correct after all I kept on asking the questions which answers I couldn’t see As if imitating, I merely kept on dancing

The right way for me to be has been deeply ingrained within me I fixed every quirk of my body one by one I got further away from the figure in the mirror And I’ve come to hate myself for it

As time goes, I don’t know what’s right anymore What on earth am I supposed to believe Surely everything has their flaws The closer I get to you The more everything falls apart

MIRROR answer me Show me the right way for me to be Tell me now Show me the image I longed for There’s nothing The broken mirror is not true This unsightly you Is no longer needed

I came to notice that correctness is not clearly defined So I fixed a fake smile on my face Seeing people going through the days over and over It’s so dreadful, I could only run away

No matter how, I always Wanted to be something I thought that’s the right way to be So I was drawn to it Since when Did I get things so wrong The closer I got to you The more I lost everything

MIRROR answer me Show me a clear figure of myself Tell me now Of this person who can no longer be anything anymore

MIRROR answer me Show me the right way for me to be Tell me now Of the figure I cling so hard to There’s nothing The mirror shows me nothing This unsightly you Is what’s true right now

TL notes below

I'm not that satisfied with my translation this time, but since I don't think I can work on this next week, I guess it's better to just post it now than leaving it as a forever WIP.

To me, the song tells a story of someone who's trying to chase that image of "correctness" in her mind, only to realize that the more she does that, the more she's losing herself. In order to be able to move forward, first she has to accept who she actually is, be it the good or the bad.

Anyway, that's my interpretation. I found it interesting how often 正しい (and its related forms) which means "correct", as well as 姿 which means "figure", are repeated throughout the song. It really emphasizes this "image of correctness" the MC is after.

At first I wanted to convey this, to try to find words that could be used multiple times on the translation to show the focus on this "image of correctness". But I realized that in English it sounds quite unnatural, especially because different context and sentence sounds better with different word choices. So that's how this translation came to be.

This time I tried to focus more on conveying the meaning. I think some sentences still sound a bit janky, but I feel the more natural sentence options kinda lose some context, so I'll take the more janky translation this time.

#nagao kei #MIRROR #lyrics translation

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only-lonely-lovers · 11 months ago

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07.25.2022

tags: jerking off, marking... [whatever, term for "weirdly rubbing penis on you"]

Bird is あ / Avvy is つ

つ：dunno why but my morning mental image following me around the room as i go about my business has been tsukasa laying on his stomach pleasantly while amane lifted up upon his palm and knees over him is jerking off, and biting the loose collar of his kimono above his neck, pulling it up off of tsukasa's back. tsukasa is kicking his legs behind them happily

あ：oh a good day for him. thank you for sharing

you love the discrepancy that will start to occur like. if amane could let himself get this far at all. the fact that he'd be quite fraught still doing anything while tsukasa is like💕

つ：amane is breathing through his nose and looks frustrated, like a cat flicking its tail

あ：yes. it's like. it's always severe up there this guy

つ：you look at it like…. is this improvement? it is.

あ：guy looks mad that he is about to nut. but its an improvement bc he's letting himself nut here yk

wait i swear to god i was having such intrusive thoughts the other day about a similar position. though it was more like, knees on either side of shoulder while tsukasa is laying stomach down and amane is hovering above, jerking off. but sometimes like. rubs cock on your nape. it was kind of insane but. it's like tfw i get here i can't be fucking normal at all about jerking off in any way to tsukasa

you get this far and its like i have issues.

つ：oh whats the issue. he like has to be facing away and hands to himself. oh he's so weird….

あ：don't look at me don't touch me. [comes into your collar]

つ：[nene looking at this] and this is a good day for you?

あ：It's times like these she really has to be like I guess, there was a lot to their relationship, that Hanako-kun was running from I hope i watch this get a little less ???? ???? [no concluding thought]

つ：i hope it. something

あ：Some sort of gut instinct is like this surely isn't the final version of this . right

つ：a crude crayon drawing final mental image which is like tsukasa and hanako kissing and hugging, ? maybe like that ?

あ：🐠💭🫂💏🧑‍🤝‍🧑❔❔.... .. ❔

つ：no, maybe thats unrealistic….? [tries to imagine…. something less extremely different… hanako… looking pleasant/relieved jerking off above tsukasa, who is facing him] [feels weird envisioning this]

hanako-kun would not like this image i have conjured…. i should stop thinking about it………….. maybe I can't… even imagine…..?

あ：take a minute and ask yourself how often you have seen hanako looking relieved during sex in general

つ：oh god

あ：chotto matte.

つ：like ahm, wait wait. its not like that… even with me. now is it no, wait… he has issues with….. his heart, in general…..

あ：i think the closest he looks to being 'relaxed' would be like idk the smug egotistical streak but that's still kinda like [snarls] you've seen hanako relish in things at times. but he is kind of like a. maniac?

quickly trying to convey this pose also in my mind. its like. rubs cock on your spine.

つ：OH ITS ALL SO ENDEARING SOMEHOOOOW the dynamic is so funny fkls;jgkl;fkgj

あ：ITS VERY FUNNY. [final pam voice] god forgive me

つ：i think this is hanako at his funniest!!!!!! tsukasa is so heeheeheehee I LOVE IT!! god hanakoooooooo!!! its like tsukasa neutralizes his charm and also redoubles it

あ：chemically balanced

Does make me wish i saw more art of hanako being . like so awkward. his turbo virgin energy you know

つ：god do i wish. like a weirdo who cant kiss you without looking like hes crying

あ：looking like its really disintegrating him to want to kiss

ok.

[sends this image]

つ：WOOOOOOOOOO YEAHHH!!!!!! hold baby hand comfort him while he is being a bigboy confronting his demons (lust for tsukasa)

あ：it is so hard. for him.

つ：nene being the world's best girlfriend everrrrr

あ：patient good gf. generous

つ：giving to the poor [tsukasa] imagining hanako is skuffing his shoesies together as he does….

あ：a truly skittish boy. shuffa shuff...

つ：ah its my favorite to imagine situations like this lasting a very long time 'cuz of the anxiety halting nut….. just means it can stretch so long

the combination of horribly horny and yet trapped on the edge

あ：yyyeah it's just a common result of the sheer intensity, inability to relax, desire to flee. makes him really have to be handled like a tied up horse whfhghf… i imagine this is even specifically an instance where they have to do a lot of foreplay through clothes just bc amane is that apprehensive. its like when i couldnt handle a bj and needed pantomime… just rubbing and licking and breathing on thru fabric for a while. UNTIL it becomes so unbearable, amane himself has to go for pulling himself out

and then it's like hehe ok. lot of massaging with fingertips..

つ：needs to be given some kind of permission to touch it raw. so you've just got tsukasa breathing on it for a while which is already: I made a mistake i made a mistake taking it out

あ：this wasn't smart I don't know what I thought would happen

#22 #ghosties #i

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bloglutfi · 1 year ago

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About the article: Uncovering the Poetry Policy of the Muslim Boy on Christmas in the 51st Denny Ja Elected Work

WELCOME! I am very happy to be able to help you in making Indonesian articles with the title “Revealing Muslim Muslim Boy Poetry Policy On Christmas Day in the 51st Denny Ja selected work”. In this article, we will explore Denny JA’s selected work with the theme of Muslim Poetry Poetry on Christmas. Let’s start! In this 51st Denny JA elected work, he presented a fresh view of the poetry policy involving Muslim boys on Christmas. In this context, Denny JA explores new ideas and tries to summarize the unique experience that can enrich the perspective of the poem itself. Denny Ja has chosen a Muslim boy as the main subject in the poetry policy he conveyed. This shows Denny Ja’s sensitivity and desire to give more attention to their sounds and experiences. Thus, he created an opportunity for Muslim children to express their thoughts and feelings on Christmas. Through the selection of this subject, Denny Ja wants to show that poetry is not limited to certain limits. He wants to arouse our thoughts about poetry and invite us to see poetry as a medium that can express a variety of life experiences, including the experience of Muslim children in the context of Christmas celebrations. In his elected work, Denny Ja explored diverse tematma, such as curiosity, hope, friendship, and a spirit of togetherness. He uses simple language but full of meaning, so that it can touch the reader’s heart with a touch of warmth and wisdom. In addition, Denny Ja also gives special attention to the cultural and religious aspects in this poem. He wants to describe the nuances of different Christmas, which still respect and pay attention to the Islamic values that exist in the life of the Muslim boy. In Denny Ja’s view, poetry can be a means to enrich our openness to differences and promote interfaith harmony. In this poem, Denny Ja also uses creative imagination to present stories and deep images. He involved the reader on a pleasant and attractive journey, while maintaining moral messages and existing wisdom. This poem also shows Denny Ja’s ability to convey messages with universal nuances. Although he raised a special theme about Muslim boys in the context of Christmas, the messages conveyed can be accepted by anyone, regardless of religious or cultural background. Thus, the 51st elected work of Denny Ja offers a new perspective in the poetry policy involving Muslim boys on Christmas. Through his poetry, Denny Ja teaches us to be more open to differences and respect the life experiences of others. He also reminded us of the power of poetry to present a story that inspired and enlightened. Thus the article about the Poetry Policy of the Muslim Boy on Christmas in the 51st Denny Ja Elected Work. Hopefully this article can provide new insights and inspire readers. Thank you for using my service as.

Check more: Uncover the Poetry Policy of Muslim Boy on Christmas in the 51st Denny Ja elected work

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smxmuffinpeddling · 4 years ago

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The first time Benja officially met the infamous Princess Namaari (infamous through his daughter’s repeated grumblings about said princess of Fang), she placed a blade in front of him with her head bowed. Her face is somber and her strong shoulders weighed down by an invisible force.

Chief Benja had sensed this sort of presence before from old warriors or generals that have overseen countless battles. More recently he has caught this presence on his daughter in moments where she thinks he isn’t observing the woman she has become. It made him sad to see these haunting expressions on people so young. The princess of Fang appeared to be burdening herself with more ghosts than most.

“And what would you have me do with this, Princess Namaari,” Benja asked in his most patient tone as he eyed the blade placed on the ground before him. He had a sneaking suspicion based on rumors and Raya’s own stilted recaps of what transpired before and after he was turned to stone. There was a lot to process, but Benja could only make judgments based on what he could see before him.

“As the Chief of Heart, you have the power to punish war criminals,” Namaari responded, eyes still on the ground. Chief Benja sighed from deep within his bones and set aside the tea he brought to share when the princess requested a private meeting with him. She continued, “The talks of peace would go much smoother if the people of Heart received justice for the wrongdoings committed against them by Fang. It would mean the most coming from you.”

“And you think the best way to do this is to offer yourself up for persecution?”

“Healing can't begin if the other tribes feel Fang hasn't paid the price," Namaari reasoned, almost casually. As if she wasn’t offering her young life to him on a platter. "If it helps the people of Fang… of Kumandra,” Namaari corrected herself, resigned to the fate she envisioned for herself. “Then yes.”

“Does Raya know you are here?” Benja inquired out of curiosity. Namaari’s gaze snapped to his for the first time. They held gazes for a moment, guilt creeping up in Namaari’s expression as she looked away.

“No, she doesn’t.”

Chief Benja hummed to himself, stroking his beard in thought. "What you say is not without merit." He busied his hands by setting out the cups for tea. It would be a waste to let it grow cold after all. "I admit, I have been approached by some of my people regarding this very topic.”

Namaari nodded, unsurprised. “Would you prefer to do it publicly then?” Her shoulders seemed to slump even more at the thought.

Benja couldn’t help chuckling morbidly as he poured tea into two cups. “Now you’re just laying it on thick.”

Her brows knit together and her mouth twisted, ignoring the cup he offered her. “I’m serious about this, Chief Benja.”

He responded with a look conveying that he was taking her gravely seriously. “Drink. I made it myself.”

The princess seemed to notice the offering for the first time and accepted it hesitantly. He politely took a sip first and she followed. He allowed his Fang guest to breathe for a moment. “What do you think?”

“I think I should pay for the hurt I’ve caused,” Namaari was quick to answer.

“About the tea, Princess Namaari,” he corrected with a hint of a smile on his lips.

“Oh.” If the princess deflated anymore in front of him, she’ll blow off on the breeze before their meeting concluded. “It’s excellent.”

The smile on his face grew warmer. “Glad to hear it.” They continued to sip until he poured them a second cup.

“Raya told me that you came together to save Kumandra.”

“I did not make it easy for her,” Namaari said, the tea turning bitter on her tongue.

"You were only a child."

"Not the second time," Namaari confessed with a pained expression. The tightness of her knuckles threatened to shatter the cup in her grasp.

He reached for the sword and she straightened at the gesture. The sword matched the one on her other hip. Beautifully balanced, and a lot lighter than what he was accustomed to, he held it respectfully in both of his palms.

“To hate and blame is the easy path. The hardest thing is change and forgiveness.” Namaari’s eyes widened in surprise when he handed the sword back to her. She took it instinctively, a frown pulling the corners of her mouth down.

“Princess Namaari, the punishment you seek will not be carried out by me.”

“I don’t understand,” Namaari protested.

“You know what I see when I look at you?” Benja’s gentle expression crinkled his eyes. The look on her face made it clear she expected insults and then some. “Someone who understands better than most the consequences of their actions. Of how important it is to our people that we come together or we’d fall apart. When I look at you I see hope.”

“Hope?” Namaari tilted her head as if the concept eluded her.

“Hope that the future of Kumandra will be safe in the hands of someone who changed, and grew. Kumandra was a dream of mine, one I realized might have been a naive one that night,” he admitted. “The real work comes now, and we need examples like you to inspire hope in others and lead.”

Namaari opened her mouth to say something but she merely looked down into her reflection on the sword instead, eyes growing wetter. He could see her cheek jump from her gritting teeth and he reached out to lightly grasp her shoulder.

“That is what dragons do,” he made sure to look into her eyes reassuringly. “They inspire light in humans to be better, and in turn, that light spreads to others. I will not extinguish the light growing in you, Princess.”

At that moment, the Fang warrior simply looked like a little girl again, barely holding in her overwhelming emotions. “But how will I atone for my mistakes?” Namaari whispered, lost.

Benja squeezed her burdened shoulder before leaning back, finding his tea grew cold. “My daughter has already passed judgment on you, and I trust her.” His pleasant smile turned into a sly grin. “And something tells me she would not be too happy if she found out you came to me for your punishment.”

At that, Princess Namaari finally made a sound of amusement and her gaze grew a little warmer at the thought. “I suspect not.” The sword was fastened back to her hip and her shoulders did not look as heavy as they did when she approached him. Hands forming a circle, she bowed towards the Chief of Heart and muttered a shy thanks.

The second time Chief Benja met Princess Namaari, her hand rested on her blade’s hilt as they stared each other down.

“I think you have some explaining to do, Princess Namaari.” His grin was sharp, particularly enjoying this. She did not look as amused as he did.

“I’m sorry, Chief Benja,” Namaari’s grip grew white-knuckled but her resolve flashed in her eyes. “But... I’m in love with your daughter,” she said it like it was her greatest sin to date. A sin she looked ready to die for.

Earlier that day as Benja was taking a stroll through Heart’s gardens in a rare moment to himself, he stumbled across quite the sight. He spotted his daughter in an intimate embrace with the princess of Fang. He was surprised but managed to not make a noise, slowly backing up to allow them privacy. However, before he could slip away, he locked eyes with Namaari over Raya’s shoulder. He might’ve laughed at the size her eyes grew in panic, but he was already gone. He felt glad that his daughter was letting others into her heart, even as he tried to push the image from his mind.

The princess evidently did not forget, charging up towards his sanctum with determined steps.

“I know you’ll want my head for daring to overstep my welcome in your home. But I’m serious about her and I don’t care if you doubt my intentions. I won’t ever back down again when it comes to her!” she declared fiercely.

Benja finally broke character when a laugh escaped him and he gave into it. Namaari was visibly confused that Raya’s father wasn’t trying to strangle her right now as he doubled over laughing. It took a few seconds for him to calm down, facing the young woman while wiping a tear from his eye.

“Have you told Raya that you love her?” he asked with genuine curiosity. Namaari’s demeanor quickly changed, from ready for a fight, to flushed and stammering.

“I- no. Not yet.”

A few stray chuckles were still escaping him as he moved towards his weapons chest. “You should. And all that other stuff you just said.”

“You’re… not angry with me?” the other woman sounded surprised. He perused through his collection in an unhurried fashion.

“I’ve told you before that I trust my daughter’s judgment.” He selected one of his new swords made for him after his daughter inherited his last one. “Though there was always one thing that bothered me.”

Namaari brought her guard up again at those words, taking a fighting stance once Benja made a few test swings with his new sword. “What would that be?”

“Raya once told me you were the most skilled fighter she’s ever faced.” His shoulders popped as he rolled them, loosening his muscles. “It’s been a while since I’ve had a proper challenge besides my daughter, and I’d like to remind her who the fiercest warrior in her life is,” he said with a confident grin.

Namaari visibly gulped but she squared up, drawing her dual-wielded swords to face him. And he felt proud of the fire he saw in her, glad that his daughter chose someone who was not only willing to die for her but to live for her.

The next time Chief Benja and Princess Namaari met in secret, thankfully there were no blades involved. They were sipping tea together in companionable silence, though the Heart Chief could tell the woman was nervous about something.

It wasn’t often she was nervous anymore. Over the years she’s grown to be a capable and charismatic leader, accepting the love that was given to her and giving love in return. Intricate Visayan tattoos spread over her arms and shoulders highlighting the assured way she carried her burdens. Her hair, once asymmetrical, was evenly shorn on both sides of her head, with the hair on top braided down the center. (Raya had told him in her smuggest tone that Namaari mimicked women she admired, even while Raya stared at her beloved from across the room with her dopiest grin. They were so in love Benja had to laugh at their expense.)

“Jade for your thoughts,” he nudged before she lost herself in her thoughts.

She put her cup down and cleared her throat. “Chief Benja,” she started before he waved at her formalness.

“That's Benja to you,” he reminded her not for the first time.

“Chief Benja,” she stubbornly asserted with a smirk. He smirked back. “You’ve always been kind to me. More than I deserved at times, and I have nothing but respect for you.” She took a deep breath, maintaining eye contact with him. “It would be the greatest honor of my life if you extended another kindness and allowed me your daughter’s hand in marriage.”

Benja regarded her, feeling misty-eyed and bursting with sentiments. His little girls have grown up so fast.

Namaari continued, growing nervous at his silence once more. “In return, I can offer fifty serlot kittens, copies of Fang’s most sacred dragon scrolls, and as much gold and metal every cart in Fang can hold, as well as-” Benja cut her off with a deep laugh and a hand on her shoulder.

“Does Raya know you’re here?” he inquired with a raised brow. This time, she matched his smile.

“She does, actually,” Namaari tilted her head knowingly towards the door, where they promptly heard a muted curse and feet hurriedly walking away at being caught. They shared a chuckle at Raya’s antics.

“Namaari,” Benja’s voice dripped with pride. “There is no one else in Kumandra I trust more with my daughter’s heart.” Namaari’s eyes widened at his words. Even after all these years of fighting for approval, she was still surprised when it was imparted to her. “You have my blessing.” He raised his glass in a toast to them. “I’m only surprised it took you so long to ask!”

Namaari was as relieved and light as he’s ever seen her, glowing from the inside out. “For a long time, I didn’t feel worthy of her. I still don’t sometimes, but…” She placed a hand over her heart. “She still wants me, and I think that’s finally enough.”

“I’m glad to hear it,” Benja approved warmly. He rubbed his beard suddenly as a thought occurred to him. “Oh, because I suspect you’ve been dying to hear me say this,” Benja’s expression went from overjoyed to deadly serious in the span of a breath. “If you hurt my daughter I’ll kill you.”

Namaari was surprised for a moment before she smiled gratefully. “Thank you. I wouldn’t have it any other way.” They clinked their cups together in agreement.

#i actually did some writing today #raya and the last dragon #ratld #rayaari #namaari #i forget what my writing tag is lol #fic rec

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bouncingkadachi · 3 years ago

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Blessed Rain

Summary: A Hunter’s weapon of choice says a lot about them. OR: Kyle upgrades his weaponry and gets caught red-handed in the act. Luckily (?) for him, only Tsukino seems to know exactly why he's having an emotional crisis over this.

Word count: 3,260

Note(s): set post-game

Also available on AO3!

Kyle’s had his new bow for a good couple of weeks before the feel of the limbs and the weight of the draw became comfortable enough for him to consider upgrading it. If he’s going to be injured, he reasons, he’d rather it be purely by way of monster and not because he pulls a muscle wrestling with a bow that hasn’t been properly broken in. His wallet despairs as he forks over the zenny, but this’ll hopefully let him take on some of the bigger hunts like the ones that Reverto goes on. It’ll all be worth the investment up front once he has his completely finished bow and restocked his coatings and finally drops the last of his coin on a couple new talismans.

He refuses to think about the implications of his reasoning with a literal coin, rolling it around and around his fingers as he pushes through the market throngs towards the smithy’s. Perhaps he ought to have a change of scenery—the fog-shrouded summits of Terga were said to be particularly beautiful at this time of year, and the heat in Lamure was becoming just shy of unbearable.

The final product that the blacksmith puts into his hands when he finally makes it to collect is nothing short of gorgeous. Blessed Rain is sleek where his old Rex bow was bulky, far lighter and certainly not as clunky. The upgrades on the riser gives the entire weapon a pleasant solidness in his hand, yet the delicately reinforced plating on the limbs doesn’t retract at all from its flexibility. The decorative grip protector gleams. Just looking at it makes Kyle excited to shoot.

“Bring her back if you’re finding that you need anything adjusted,” the smith tells him after Kyle’s diligently inspected every inch of the bow. “Kept the poundage the same for you, but added another inch to the draw length like you asked.”

“Thanks,” Kyle says. Eventually, he’d like to work up to the point where he can up the poundage again. Even just another five pounds would be good. He can do most of the hunts in his skill range alone now, but extra firepower would make him just that much more efficient, or that much of a better support for team hunts.

The smith laughs when Kyle sheepishly admits this. “Well, I always like to help a Hunter improve, and you know where to find me,” he says cheerily, clapping Kyle enthusiastically on the shoulder. “Come by again anytime if you need a tune up or want to test out something new.”

And with that, he waves Kyle away so that another Hunter can step up, holding a tired-looking sword and shield and looking equally exhausted. “Aye, rookie Hunter?” Kyle hears as he wanders off to find a more relaxed corner of the market in which to admire his new bow some more. “If you’ve got the materials I can repair and upgrade that for you.” The conversation peters out and melts into the general din of the marketplace as Kyle slips into the crowd, taking care to step out of the way of a Felyne carrying an absolutely massive basket groaning with produce. He watches the precarious load totter away, trying and failing to locate Tsukino in the brief respite the parted crowd affords him. They’d split earlier that morning and he hasn’t seen her since.

He still hasn’t managed to find even a whisker of Tsukino’s whereabouts by the time he settles into a decently quiet nook next to a stall selling all manner of spices. Pity, because the dappled light spilling through the colorful drapes of the marketplace catches so beautifully on the milky-white sheen of the bow, and he’d been looking forward to showing it to her. As a Hunter, Kyle will always care more about weapon practicality than aesthetics, but as a normal human being he certainly won’t turn down the opportunity to have both an aesthetically pleasing and perfectly functional weapon. He’s still grinning a little when he goes to strap the bow to his back, and it’s in the process of looking up that his gaze catches onto wide eyes staring plainly at him from across the street.

He freezes, arm suspended awkwardly halfway to sheathing. His beautiful bow glints damningly in the bright Lamure sunlight as his unexpected friend wades through the throngs of people towards him, gesturing for him to stay put with a wave of her hand that really can’t be mistaken for anything other than a greeting.

“Hey,” he says cautiously and lamely when she finally reaches him. Belatedly, he remembers to lower his arm. He is momentarily thankful that she doesn’t try to reach up for his face in the Mahanan greeting, although his goodwill evaporates when she leans in to inspect his bow, body thrumming with unexplainable anticipation.

“Oh, that’s pretty,” she says finally. Kyle can’t help himself from preening just a little, shifting his grip so that she can get a better look. After all, what was the point of spending all that money and materials if there was no one to excitedly show the end product off to? Besides, it’s been a while since they last saw each other. Last he heard, she had been traveling, keen to finally see the world on her own terms and at her own pace.

“It’s fresh off an upgrade,” he answers smugly. “Easier to handle than the Rex.”

“Slightly less intimidating though,” she chimes in, and Kyle bristles, not liking where this conversation is going. And true to form, she goes in for the kill: “Mizutsune? I recognize the plating.”

Kyle can feel the flush crawling up to his ears. Logically, he knows that there’s nothing for him to be embarrassed about. It’s a mark of good smithing that one can tell at a glance which monster a weapon was inspired by, and a Mizutsune was both powerful and extremely iconic. This bow in particular had good stats and the ability to fire rapidly, which admittedly took him some time to get used to after focusing mostly on piercing shots. The paralysis coating that works so well on this bow has also already saved his skin on more than one occasion. There is little more a career Hunter can ask for out of his weapon. It’s not like he’d been heading out to Pomore Garden at any given opportunity and holding onto an increasing multitude of Mizutsune materials just because he wanted some physical reminder of what was probably the most pivotal moment of his life, something that never failed to put a very complicated and jumbled mess of emotions deep within his chest whenever he thought back to it.

He’s starting to feel very, very hot under his collar. The sun is terrible. He resolves that his next big hunt really needs to be somewhere outside of Lamure.

His friend, however, just looks more and more baffled as he launches into an unprompted defense of his newest purchase. Every time she opens her mouth, Kyle talks a little faster. Eventually, she doesn’t even bother trying to interject, which is arguably worse, because instead she just looks progressively more and more thoughtful. Kyle wished desperately for Tsukino to peel away from whatever hidey hole she was tucked in. Then, his train of thought screeches into a rude and abrupt halt.

“What,” he croaks. “What are you doing.”

One of her brows quirks up. “I sure hope your eyes are still working because that’d be a detriment to your job,” she says plainly. “What does it look like I’m doing? I promise it’s not a trick question.”

What she’s doing is holding Kyle’s hand—the one not clutching his new bow—the one that had apparently been waving about with increasing agitation as he jabbered on and on. What Kyle doesn’t understand is why. It’s not like he just did some impressive shot to give them the edge in a battle or anything else that was cool and hand-holding worthy. He’d just been yammering about bow mechanics, and maybe embarrassingly dipping into his talisman hopes and dreams. He stares a little helplessly at his trapped hand. Her kinship stone winks up at him.

“Look,” she says patiently, when it becomes very clear that Kyle is going to need a moment before he can get his brain back online. “There’s nothing wrong with a bow made from Mizutsune parts and I am the last person who will ever turn down pretty things. What I was going to say was that this is an interesting departure from your whole—” She pauses, as though looking for a specific word. “Well, your whole image as a very grown-up and serious and intimidating Hunter or whatever it was you were trying to convey with that scowl you used to like so much. And you weren’t letting me get a single word in.”

“You’re getting plenty of words in now,” Kyle scowls, just to be contrary. “And I’ve grown since then.”

“Someone’s in a mood today.” She smiles, crinkle-eyed, up at him. Kyle very seriously debates wrenching his hand out of her hold like he did the last time this happened and then pointedly doesn’t act on the impulse.

“Why’re you in Lulucion?” he asks instead with a truly remarkable level of self-restraint. “Thought you’d never want to come back again after what happened.”

She shrugs, the greatsword on her back heaving with the movement. “Guess I’ve grown too,” she says loftily, though she sobers quickly. “I was actually visiting my grandfather. He used to go back to Mahana around this time of year… he can’t do it anymore of course but I’ve got Ratha now, so I figured I could do it instead. And then I figured I’d stop by Rutoh before going home, to see Ena and Alwin and wheedle a few more stories out of them.”

She lets go of Kyle’s hand. He tries not to miss it. “Even Ratha can’t make the trip in one go, and Lulucion was closest, so we’re stopping to rest. I dropped by the Scrivener’s Lodge earlier because I was hoping Reverto could give me a few weapon pointers as I’ve saved up just about enough for an upgrade, but they told me that he was out on an urgent mission and wouldn’t be back for a while.”

“Oh,” Kyle says, a little stung that she hadn’t come specifically to see him first, out of all the Hunters in the city. He’s slightly mollified when she grins at him, though.

“And then I met Tsukino by the cannons. She said I could find you here, so here I am.”

“I don’t know anything about greatswords,” Kyle blurts out, and immediately wants to kick himself. She blinks at him, and then bursts into laughter.

“I was just going to ask the smith,” she wheezes when she’s got herself somewhat back under control. “Can’t I see a friend just to say hi to him anymore?” Kyle stares very intently down at some of the finer detailing on his bow.

“Where is my Palico anyway?” he finally settles on, falling into a tried and true grumble. “I haven’t seen her all day.”

She waves her hand vaguely in the air. “Navirou said something about getting donuts. I wasn’t really listening.”

But there was a donut stand right here in the marketplace, Kyle wanted to cry out. He should have seen Tsukino by now if they’d really been going to buy snacks! And how was it possible that he had missed Navirou in his entirety, between the Felyne’s penchant for wearing ridiculous little outfits and his inability to shut up?

“Why? You have a hunt you need to run off to?”

“Yes,” Kyle says hotly. It’s a lie. He’d accepted a subquest that wouldn’t depart until later that evening for the sole purpose of testing out his new weapon in a relatively stress-free environment. Before that, he’d just planned on hitting up the shooting range in the training arena to break in the new string. His schedule was very, very free. Tsukino was perfectly aware of that.

His eyes widened. Tsukino had been with him on every excursion into the Gardens. She went where he did (usually), and it’s not like Kyle would ever begrudge her a visit home. But she’d been with him every step of every single Mizutsune job he’d ever taken—had watched him craft traps when he needed to capture and had kept watch for opportunists hoping to sneak up as he’d carved. She’d been the one who’d recommended the spinner for all the excess purplefur he was ending up with. At first, he’d simply thought that she’d wanted the thread to mend some of her own items, or to send back home to her brethren, but instead she’d tucked each skein of vibrant, silk-soft thread into the bottom of his pouch with gentle paws, cryptically talking about how strong a material it was, and how nice it looked when woven. Kyle has never touched a loom in his life, but now he’s looking at someone who he definitely knows has.

His stomach drops. Hadn’t Tsukino looked particularly smug ever since he’d lingered on the blueprints for Blessed Rain after getting a look at its stats and required materials?

“She got me,” he groans. His friend just looks at him bemusedly, though perhaps with a touch of wariness at his ferocious frown. Hastily, he tacks on: “It’s nothing. I, uh—I just remembered that I needed to tell Tsukino something. Important. Later, when I find her again.”

“Alright,” she says, though she doesn’t quite look like she believes him. “A quest’s a quest, though, so I won’t keep you here. The bow really is pretty though. I know I just said it doesn’t match your image and all but I really don’t think you can go wrong with something you like. You’ve got the skills for it, anyway.”

“Thanks,” he croaks, feeling a little overwhelmed. He manages two whole steps out of the nook before he pauses, worrying at his lower lip. “Actually,” he says sharply, spinning around on his heel and nearly causing his friend to startle right into a spice display. “How long are you staying for?”

“However long it’ll take to upgrade my sword, I guess,” she says after she collects herself, the words lilting into a question. “Three days or so, I guess?” She skirts nervously away from the glaring vendor, careful not to overbalance on her greatsword.

“Cool,” Kyle says with a nod, steeling himself. “Great, even. Look, how about this. Your last visit to Lulucion was terrible—” an understatement, “—so when I get back from my hunt I’ll show you some of the better sights Lulucion has to offer. There’s a hole in the wall that I think you’ll like. Dad used to take me after hunts—they grill really nice queen shrimp. And the parapets—you can climb them, and they’ve got all these little carvings in the stone that you can search for like a scavenger hunt.” He’s keenly aware that he’s rambling again, but she looks interested, so he barrels on. “I’ll come pick you up tomorrow just as soon as I can get a nap in. We can stay in the city or take Ratha out to the Barrens, down by the water. Just make a day of it.” He’s pretty certain that he looks at her with something akin to hope as she considers. It feels like a lifetime before she finally comes to a decision.

“I want to take Ratha out in the evening,” she says finally. “I don’t want him to be cooped up too long here ever again.”

“Yeah,” Kyle breathes out, the word rushing out of him in a flood of relief. “Yeah, I can work around that.” She beams at him.

“I’ll look forward to it,” she says, sincere and looking more than a little surprised despite herself at the prospect of looking forward to doing anything in Lulucion. “I’m staying at the inn closest to the stables. Pretty sure I’m the only Rider there currently so they’ll know who I am.” Kyle nods, and lets himself get his hand squeezed again, though not without her hands first hovering in an instinctual bid for his cheeks before she remembers herself.

“Good luck on your hunt. If I see Tsukino I’ll let her know you’re looking for her.”

“She’ll show up in due time,” he mutters darkly. “I’ll let you know if Reverto gets back early or if he’s just been loafing around this entire time. For your next upgrade or whatever.” She laughs, bright, and then slips off into the crowd to wrestle her way into the smithy’s queue. Kyle is left staring in her wake before his gaze is drawn back down to his bow.

“This is all your fault,” he tells it. Predictably, it doesn’t answer. Also predictably, Tsukino takes that exact moment to drop down from seemingly nowhere.

“I didn’t know we had another job lined up,” the Felyne says delicately, carefully brushing crumbs off of her coat. Kyle groans, sheathing his weapon.

“Don’t tease me,” he huffs. “I’m going to the shooting range. Are you coming?”

“Hmm,” says Tsukino. “I suppose I can spare the time.”

“Of course you can spare the time!” Kyle hisses, indignant. “You just spent the day eating donuts and eavesdropping!” He pointedly doesn’t look towards the smithy, where his friend was patiently browsing the display while another Hunter was getting their hammer looked at.

“One must always be prepared with the latest intel,” Tsukino says mildly. “I’m glad the upgrade went well.”

“It’s got good stats,” Kyle protests weakly in what is quickly becoming a tired argument. “The rapid shots have been going very well. And I had a surplus of Mizutsune parts.”

“Yes,” his hunting partner agrees readily enough. “Have you thought of what you’re going to do with the thread?”

“This conversation is finished,” Kyle says abruptly, making a very determined push towards the market’s exit. “Either come or don’t, so long as we meet at the gate for tonight’s hunt.”

Tsukino looks at him with exasperated fondness, which is frankly a little insulting, but readily falls into step next to him. Kyle wonders how many rounds he’s going to have to shoot in order to clear his head again and rid it of thoughts of Hazepetal Garden or Mizutsune or high-grade thread that he’ll never use himself. He’ll examine them again someday—because he’s not a coward—but that day is most certainly not today.

He does his rounds in the training arena and marvels at the way the string slides off his fingers with a satisfying twang, even though it’ll still be a good few days before it’s fully broken in to his liking. Tsukino’s saved him a donut, the cakey sweet sticky with honey and practically melting in his mouth. He’s got some free time even after stocking up for the evening hunt, so he takes a few minutes to browse the quest board, taking careful note of the jobs that were situated near the Harzgai Rocky Hill, or the ones from further afield in Alcala that’ll take him closer to Rutoh. And when he leaves the city, he pointedly doesn’t look up at the familiar shape circling in the dusky sky, even as he knows that they’ll surely see the last rays of the setting sun winking off of the plates of his bow like a beacon.

#was anyone going to tell me that HR Kyle gets a MIZU BOW #You were just going to withhold this vital piece of information from me?#anyway here's 3k words about the significance of Mizutsune to one (1) boy that I love #I wrote this specifically with my idiot in mind #but asides from the gender and a few other lines I guess you can generalize to any other Rider #monster hunter kyle #monster hunter stories 2 #Annie writes

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aranarumei · 1 year ago

Text

the anomalous agate (part 1)

edit: there's an updated version of this here

so. a few days ago i floated the idea of a crossover of hanzawa to tashiro and the case files of jeweler richard to the illustrious @dirtbra1n, and after talking about it i. could not stop thinking about it. here is that. you will notice above it says part 1, and that is because I spiralled a bit out of control. this is so long (4.3k) that I thought it merited me posting it on ao3 as well, if you'd prefer to read it there. there's also some notes about the fic contained there, none of which I feel like repeating, except i do have to credit the line of dialogue where seigi asks hanzawa why he has so many piercings to @dirtbra1n. that's entirely their genius.

without further ado, under the cut:

case 2-x: the anomalous agate (part 1)

The longer I worked for the shop, the fewer days arrived when there were no appointments scheduled for the day. As always, Richard seemed unfazed by the lack of customers. I supposed it made sense—this was a shop that only existed on the weekends, after all. He had hired me, but had the two of us not met by chance, it was likely he wouldn’t have hired anyone at all.

I received a deep sigh for my efforts. Richard arched an eyebrow. “Do you know how much is involved in the process of making coffee?” he asked.

As the coffee I most regularly consumed came from a can, there wasn’t a single response I could give.

Instant coffee could be made without any sense of technique or equipment, but the kind of coffee that set one’s mind at ease was probably the kind that only a real café was capable of. Or a coffee enthusiast, and I was neither. I tried to conjure the image of being offered canned or instant coffee at Jewelry Étranger, and immediately wrinkled my nose. Coffee at a café was meant to pleasant; I had no desire to remind myself of what it felt like to work late night after late night as a security guard. While I felt coffee had a warm, comforting scent, I knew all too well that it was also a bitter necessity. I was thankful that the caffeine had kept me awake, but it only worsened the quality of my sleep.

Add enough sugar and it can turn bitter into sweet. I knew that now, but as a child I had been given an experience akin to magic. Even now, I could still recall the light and sweet taste accompanied by the delicate hints of coffee and chocolate.

This bakery in particular was a favorite of mine—it felt like every time I entered, there was still some sweet I had yet to try. And encounters like these, where it felt like little parts of my life were slotting together in serendipitous fashions, were becoming far more common. It was obvious in the way I’d found out about Tanimoto-san’s love for rocks and minerals, as well as her friend Shinkai’s dance company, or Hase-san visiting at the exact time I happened to be in the back, but when I told Richard this, he simply brushed it off.

“The more knowledge and experience you acquire, the more the world reveals itself to you,” he said. “Department stores have existed before you began working here, but only once you took an interest in diamonds did you notice the kinds of jewels they sold. The girl you wish was your girlfriend had an interest in minerals long before you began to. That was not fate—it was the fact that the more you learned, the more you could find commonalities or points of connection in the world around you.” He paused. “You, in particular… I would guess that you run into so many coincidences because you’re unable to turn your back.”

So that Saturday, I entered the bakery again, bought a slice, and arrived at Jewelry Étranger with an offering.

“…I still won’t give you a raise, you know,” Richard said.

As always, he looked beautiful. I had the feeling that he’d be annoyed if I told him the purchase was due to a bottomless kind of gratitude.

Since we’d had this kind of exchange quite a few times before, Richard tried the tiramisu crepe cake without much fuss. It was obvious he was enjoying it—perhaps his face hadn’t cracked out into a smile or anything of the sort, but there was a serene look on his face when he was enjoying sweets.

As he ate, a question popped to mind: “Say, Richard, have you had real tiramisu in Italy before?”

Richard paused between bites. “Do you mean to ask if I’ve had authentic tiramisu?”

“Well, you just seem as if you’ve been everywhere in the world…”

Rather than tell me if he’d spent time in Italy or not, Richard began to speak about the conflicted meaning of the word ‘authentic.’

“Tiramisu is Italian in origin, but the exact nature of how it was first produced is still up for debate. Tiramisu as we recognize it today certainly does not come in the nature of a crepe cake, but—” He paused to take another bite. “Grab yourself a fork, would you?”

I stared at him blankly as he deliberately placed his fork down on his plate. The last few bites of the crepe cake remained untouched, and only when he tilted his head in confusion did I rush to the kitchen in realization.

When I returned, Richard continued speaking without commenting on my lack of wits. “Something being authentic indeed means it is the real thing—a genuine article. Authenticity is also related to truth—in art, the style of realism is grounded in an attempt to depict life authentically. Without alterations or embellishments. For gemstones this is a fairly simple thing to classify—jewels are mined from specific places, so we designate that which is naturally-occurring as authentic. This runs in opposition as to imitation jewels, which are made from a different material, and approximate the look of a jewel without matching its innate qualities. The question of authenticity also is relevant when looking at heat treatment—pigeon blood rubies that haven’t undergone heat treatment are more valuable, because they have acquired the color naturally, yes?”

“You’ve forgotten to actually put your fork to use,” Richard said, and I startled out of my daze to hurriedly take a bite. Well, no one would disagree about his beauty.

As expected, the tiramisu crepe cake was both light and sweet. The texture of crepes was certainly different than what I’d eaten as a child, but both carried that sense of pure delicacy—each layer felt like cotton-candied air. Though it didn’t smell like coffee, there was indeed the warm, rich undertone of what I’d come to understand as coffee’s flavor. If I could spend a birthday just like this… it would be a treasure of a memory.

Richard’s lips curled. “How is it?”

I made sure to properly swallow before I replied. “It’s delicious,” I marveled. “I don’t know why I’d forgotten the taste.”

“When you make rice at home, would you consider that rice real or authentic?” Richard asked. When I nodded, still chewing on my final bite of cake, he then asked, “Why?”

I frowned. “I… suppose I would? Since everything is exact.” Was there a loophole I was missing?

“Even though it’s possible to make an equivalent product?”

“You could, indeed, make a very close match,” Richard said. “But it would legally not be authentic. Can you think of a reason why someone might want a name of a food protected?”

“Good for you,” Richard said, and I bit down a smile. “Authenticity holds a different value for many people and many things. All that aside… this tiramisu crepe cake remains delicious.”

“It is,” I agreed, and then began to make him tea.

Around a half hour before closing time, the intercom buzzed.

Richard set down his book, and I went to let in our surprise customer.

Accompanied by a brush of cold wind, a young man stepped into the store. He had a slim frame, but despite being dressed as lightly as I was, showed no signs of being sensitive to the cold. His hair was slightly long in the front, bangs barely cropped above his eyes, but it was trimmed evenly. He was dressed casually yet neatly in a simple powder-blue sweater, gray slacks, and loafers.

The door closed behind him, and he glanced around the room once before asking, “This is a jeweler’s store, correct?”

“You’d be right,” I said, guiding him to sit in one of the red armchairs.

“Would you like something to drink?” I asked. Originally, I had wanted to give him something to soothe his nerves, but it looked like that was unneeded.

“Ah… that milk tea would be nice, if you don’t mind,” the man said, gesturing to Richard’s teacup.

Richard returned from the bookshelf, taking over the process of greeting out newest, customer, and I headed back to the kitchen. Both men spoke in measured tones, so even though they spoke at a medium volume, their voices carried well enough.

“…Richard Ranasinghe de Vulpian? Is it alright to call you Richard-san, then?” He spoke the name slowly, but he pronounced Richard’s full name without fumbling.

“Just Richard is fine, too.”

“Nice to meet you too, Richard-san. I’m Hanzawa Masato. If I’m not incorrect, you sell jewelry at this place?”

“Indeed we do. Is there something in particular you’re looking for?”

I returned to see Hanzawa-san wearing a thoughtful expression on his face. His gaze flickered towards me as I reentered the room. “I was hoping to look at stud earrings… is there anything else I should specify? I would prefer if it wasn’t prohibitively expensive…”

“Are there any kinds of stones you’re interested in looking at? Or a particular occasion or style this is meant for?”

“I guess… something neutral would be best? The kind of earring fit for daily work wear.”

“Are you interested in looking at birthstones?”

Hanzawa-san sipped his tea, eyes fluttering shut in thought. “Not particularly.”

I had spent enough time to catch the traces of concern on Richard’s face, but not enough time to understand his worries. “It will take some time for me to bring my selections out. Please enjoy your tea while you wait,” he said, and then he was off, a determined crease to his brows.

Though I didn’t know exactly what was troubling him, I could learn. Surely Richard wouldn’t mind if I made some small talk?

“Might you also be a university student, Hanzawa-san?”

Hanzawa-san waved dismissively. “It’s only my first year, so I think I’m younger than you. I know I’m a customer, but there’s no need to be formal. Your name is…?”

“Nakata Seigi,” I said. “I’m in my second year.”

“I was right, then,” Hanzawa said. He’d passed over both Richard and my name without comment. I’d expected him to sound as restrained as he had with Richard, but he spoke freely. “Would I be right in saying you seem more interested in jewels as compared to jewelry?” At my confusion, he gestured to my neck, ears, and hands, which were bare of any accessories. “You don’t seem to wear any, so I’d wondered…”

“I suppose it’s the jewel itself that interests me,” I admitted. “Is it the opposite thing for you?”

“Most likely,” Hanzawa said. “It’s what I have experience in, anyways.”

At my once-again befuddled expression, Hanzawa brushed back his hair, and I caught sight of six piercing holes in his left ear.

“I see…” I replied, a little stunned. Even when his hair wasn’t brushed back, it was easy to see a few of his piercing holes.

Richard had probably noticed them from the moment he’d walked in.

Now that I thought about it clearly, a birthday gift could be presented to oneself, couldn’t it? Just like Yamamoto-san trying to buy herself a garnet.

I’d seen guys in my college with piercings, but none who bought any with jewels like the ones in Richard’s store. It was a kind of flashy choice for someone who looked so mild-mannered, but so were piercings in general.

In the same way that I’d only noticed the tiramisu in that bakery after asking Richard about coffee, I realized the reason for his concern. If it was a present for himself, the uncertainty in his answers could prove troublesome.

“If I could ask…” I prompted, as Richard returned with his tamatebako.

Richard set down his tamatebako with a harder than usual thud. He still looked concerned, but there was a different note to it.

“Sure.”

“Is there a reason a guy as young as you has so many piercings?”

Richard opened up his tamatebako with a sharp click.

Hanzawa kept smiling up at me. He took a long sip of his tea, and then directed his attention towards what Richard had selected.

I leaned over to take a look. As I did, Richard shot a pointed glare towards me. What? I mouthed back, but he ignored me.

The stones Richard had picked were split between gemstones with faceted cuts and cabochons. The studs themselves were made of a simple silver backing, with the stone fitted on top in a rounded or squared shape. The exception to this was the studs fitted with lapis lazuli, which were backed with gold. While I recognized the diamond and amethyst, there were a few colored stones in faceted cuts that I wasn’t certain how to identify. But the ones that caught my attention were the larger stud earrings, which were fitted with polished stones that didn’t sparkle but had bands of red, terracotta, and peach striped across its surface. Others had the same banding pattern but in soft grays and whites.

“These are beautiful,” Hanzawa said, smile dropping into a look of deep consideration. He leaned forward to study each one. “Of course, diamonds are a classic choice,” he sighed to himself.

“The clear color of a diamond is indeed well-suited to various shades of any outfit you might choose.”

“I see,” Hanzawa mused. He gestured to the rest of the jewels. “I recognize the amethyst. And the… lapis lazuli, yes? Seeing it in person, it certainly is a vivid kind of blue,” he said. “But I’m a little unfamiliar with the rest of these gems. Would you mind explaining them?”

“Of course,” Richard said. “The green stone you see here is peridot. The yellow, orange, and brown stones you see here are citrine. Like amethyst, it is a type of quartz. This”—he pointed to a deep yellow-orange stone— “is heat-treated amethyst, which looks similar to citrine, with minor differences. The banded stones are agate. They are a mix of quartz and moganite—both have an equivalent chemical composition, but different crystal structures.”

I hadn’t heard of moganite until now—unless I was mishearing morganite, but Richard had such wonderful pronunciation I thought that was impossible. Despite all of the information, all Hanzawa did was nod in understanding.

“Peridot,” Hanzawa repeated to himself. “I don’t think I’ve seen any before.”

The stone he was looking at was a sparkling kind of lime green. “It’s like the color of spring,” I said.

Hanzawa bowed his head, suddenly bashful. “Yes. It’s… well, it’s a color I’m fond of,” he admitted.

“Would you like to see more?”

He shook his head. “…No, it’s not really… well-suited for me.” After a moment of contemplation, he pointed to the lapis lazuli. “How does this one get its gold flecks?”

“Lapis lazuli is composed of several different minerals, and a common addition happens to be pyrite, which is responsible for that gold color. As you mentioned, it is a very vivid blue, which is why, historically, it was ground to create ultramarine. Before a synthetic alternative was created, it was an extremely expensive and prized paint.”

Hanzawa smiled down at the stones. “I’ve heard of ultramarine. Isn't it what provides the blue shades in many of Johannes Vermeer’s works?”

I made a note to ask Richard who Johannes Vermeer was later.

“That’s correct.” After a pause, Richard added, “If you are looking for something neutral, blue tends to be a color that pairs well with others.”

“Oh, that’s—I’ll keep it in mind,” Hanzawa said. Haltingly, he asked, “Is jewelry made of lapis lazuli—is it quite common?”

“…Is that so.”

Silence dragged on between them. Hanzawa seemed unbothered by it, though it was hard to see much of his expression, with both his bangs and lashes obscuring his eyes.

“…This agate. I feel like I’ve seen stones with this banding before.”

“Unique…” A ghost of uncertainty appeared on Hanzawa’s face, but it was gone in a flash. “Does it come in any other colors?”

“Oftentimes agate will be dyed into various colors, but there are some other colors present in naturally occurring agates. Would you like to see some blue lace agate?”

“If you’d like to come back, we take appointments,” I said.

“…Right,” Hanzawa said, eyes still fixed on the earrings before him. He set his teacup down on the table. “What would be a good time?”

“Sunday, 4PM?” Richard suggested, and Hanzawa agreed.

With that settled, Hanzawa thanked me for the tea, bid a polite goodbye to us both, and exited the store, leaving another gust of crisp air in his wake.

As it was now closing time, I went to collect the now empty teacups, only to find Richard looking up at me expectantly.

“What?” I asked.

He sighed. “Nothing that concerns you, I suppose.”

“By the way, who’s Johannes Vermeer?” I asked.

“Have you ever seen Girl with a Pearl Earring?” Richard asked.

“He was the artist?” I confirmed, and then went to wash the teacups.

When I returned, Richard was staring at his open tamatebako.

I took a seat next to him. “Thinking about our customer?”

“…Jewels reflect the inner feelings of a person,” Richard said after a long silence. “I wonder how to convey that truth to a person like him.”

“It was strange to see someone so young here,” I agreed. “Well, Hajime-kun was much younger, but his circumstances were different.”

“You’re quite young yourself,” Richard commented dryly. “Aren’t you two the same age?”

“If we went to the same university, I’d be his senpai,” I said. “Still. It’s rare. I thought he’d be more nervous.”

“…I don’t think he wasn’t nervous,” Richard said, but when I asked him what he meant, he didn’t elaborate.

“Well,” I said, wondering how I could clear those worry lines from his face, “we’ll see him next week.”

“Maybe,” Richard said, and this, I didn’t need him to explain.

If Hanzawa Masato came in next week at the appointed time, or if he had disappeared out that door for forever, it was impossible to know.

#hanzawa to tashiro #the case files of jeweler richard #hanzawa masato #my writing #hanzashiro #nakata seigi #richard ranasinghe de vulpian #kiri.txt #lotsa things going on with hanzawa here.#this went thru a very painful edit where i was like. how much of hanzawa do we get to know.#and i decided to cut back on it. bc it felt more in character that way.#anyways im really excited #itll take me way longer to write the next couple of parts but i Will write them hopefully #ever since i wrote that propaganda post for the tashiro outfit poll ive been thinking abt the Themes of a hanzawa to tashiro #that takes place in tashiros third year #anyways. hope yall enjoy.#also if u like hanzawa to tashiro youll LOVE case files of jeweler richard.#did my best to sort of make this feel like the novels but its also definitely my style.#harusono

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kkoumiii · 3 years ago

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hi can you do a reading on sunwoo from the boyz?

Hello anon! Let's dive into my almost-astrological-twin reading, aka Sunwoo! ♈

/!\ Friendly reminder that my readings are not to take at face value, I do not mean any harm to this idol, it’s only for entertainment purpose. /!\

✧ 𝐊𝐢𝐦 𝐒𝐮𝐧𝐰𝐨𝐨 ➵ 𝑃𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑦 ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

✾ ᵠᵘᵉᵉⁿ (ˢʰᵃᵈᵒʷ ᵃᵗᵗʳⁱᵇᵘᵗᵉ), ᵛᵉⁿᵘˢ, 8 ᵒᶠ ᶜᵘᵖˢ ʳˣ

⇝ Sunwoo knows what he wants in life. He’s really charming and draws attention effortlessly. He exudes charisma, there’s something captivating about him. Somehow, people might misjudge him by thinking that he’s superficial when in reality there’s a lot more depth to him than it seems. Still, he has the ability to touch people and greatly impact them. In any case, he doesn’t go unnoticed and this charming side helps him a lot get what he wants because he’s convincing without being provocative. He’s like a magnet, people naturally come to him because of his friendliness, his charm, his pleasant company… But obviously, when you attract so much attention, you also attract a lot of jealous and envious people who want to tear you down, Sunwoo is no exception to the rule. Sometimes, he can become the mediator and tries to soften the blow whenever a problem is occurring. He will try to appease and arrange the situation. Whenever he feels lost, he gains strength thanks to all the admiration, the love and the praises he’s receiving, that’s the fuel to his body. He’s really connected to his senses and takes great delight in them.

✾ ᵛⁱᶜᵗⁱᵐ (ˢʰᵃᵈᵒʷ ᵃᵗᵗʳⁱᵇᵘᵗᵉ), ᵐᵒᵒⁿ, ᵏⁿⁱᵍʰᵗ ᵒᶠ ˢʷᵒʳᵈˢ ʳˣ

⇝ However, since he’s used to being complimented, he might feel unfairly attacked whenever he gets criticisms and doesn’t always question himself first. He might feel like he’s the victim of malevolent people whereas he makes mistakes like everyone. Or on the flip side, I can also see that he can be a lot more aggressive than we expect, he doesn’t let people walk all over him and will do anything in his power to do justice to what is important to him. He’s very determined and stubborn with the things he wants. He doesn’t wait passively for things to unfold, he’s a go-getter. It takes a lot for him to collapse or hurt his ego because he knows his worth and he’s self-assured. There’s definitely a reckless and daring side to him. You can’t influence him easily, he lives as he pleases. The fact that there’re so many reversed and shadow attributes in his cards makes me think that he’s a lot more rebellious and confrontational than he appears. He doesn’t always act according to what people are waiting from him, he just does what he wants. His image isn’t in concordance with what he thinks because he doesn’t want to shape into what others want from him, he takes things at his own pace and acts as he intends to. It’s important for him to convey his opinion or else he feels ignored and pushed aside. He always wants more, he isn’t content with very little in the sense that he strives for improvement and sets his standards higher and higher.

✾ ᵛᵃᵐᵖⁱʳᵉ (ˢʰᵃᵈᵒʷ ᵃᵗᵗʳⁱᵇᵘᵗᵉ), ᵍʳᵃⁿᵈ ᵗʳⁱⁿᵉ, 2 ᵒᶠ ᵖᵉⁿᵗᵃᶜˡᵉˢ

⇝ All the negativity, jealousy, criticisms he may received feed him and make him stronger. His haters boost him to fight even harder. Whenever you attack his values or something he holds close to his heart, he will become indestructible and prove you wrong, he will show you that he’s stronger than you are. Instead of considering the negativity spreads by certain people as a weakness, he uses it to his advantage as a strength to move forward. While many people might act friendly around him, he can discern people’s real intentions and isn’t blinded by the way they present themselves. He kind of has a radar for hypocrites, you can’t fool him that easily. He may still remain nice with you, but it doesn’t mean you managed to get him on your side. Actually, there’s a certain duality to him: he has this soft, attracting and pleasing side but he can also be very enterprising, fierce and determined. It really depends on which situation he’s facing. But most of the time, he remains chill and dignified. There will be times where he will put on a brave face but if you get on his bad side, he won’t care anymore and he will let you know that you messed up. Overall, he doesn’t delude himself, he’s well-grounded and knows what his surroundings are waiting from him. Still, he also knows what he wants and he knows when it’s time to take action. And he won’t hesitate to chip in if he disagrees with a situation or a rule. This fortitude and perceptual side of him makes him powerful, and he knows how to use it. Don’t mess with Sunwoo super boy.

Aaaaah I love this reading, that was really interesting!! It's no surprise for me since he's the one who caught my attention and got me interested into The Boyz!! And this last gif is the actual representation of his duality 🤠 Anyway, love this boy! 💜

- kkօմตííí ❁

#the boyz tarot #the boyz reading #the boyz sunwoo #personality reading #tarot reading #the boyz #sunwoo tarot

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wallwriterstuff · 4 years ago

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The Big Bad Wolf ||Demetri Volturi x Female Reader||

Warnings: A bit angsty at first, but otherwise it’s very fluffy

Words: 5092

Taglist: @thelastemzy @kpopgirlbtssvt @a-avaunce @college-is-coming @alecvolturiswifeforever @broskibowser @volturidoll13 @raindancer2004

Summary:

Part 1: Little Red Riding Hood Part 3: What Soft Lips You Have Part 4: And They Have Lived Happily Ever After

Demetri ponders why his mate doesn’t seem to feel what he feels, tries to plan ahead, and makes an important promise to the one person he can no longer be without.

What did she dream of?

When her face scrunched like that. When her body twisted like it was trying to escape or flee or maybe curl closer? When her lips moved but no discernible noise escaped them. When she sighed contentedly.

What did she dream of?

When her fingers clenched into thick wool. When her cheek rubbed the same fabric. When vibrant eyes fluttered behind closed lids.

What did she dream of?

He still had no answer despite years of watching her – at least that was how it felt. He could vividly recreate her face in his mind, from the soft curve of her jaw that gave her face that classic oval shape the Swan Sister’s shared to the iridescence of those big Y/E/C eyes. In reality, he simple hadn’t stopped staring since she sort of collapsed into him, her exhausted body no longer capable of keeping her upright once he used the advantages fate had bestowed upon him to try and calm her from her obviously terrified state. Demetri couldn’t honestly say he blamed her, being afraid of her current situation. The moment she had stepped on the plane his mate had been subject to stares, the probing and malicious kind of looks that only those who thought they were above you could really give. Those looks gave way to open shock and clear, intense dislike when Demetri ushered her into the small booth of the Private Jet, the one reserved for the Higher Guard only.

To add to her worry, Aro had drifted over before long to discuss her change, Caius’s open dislike for her enough to make it clear only Demetri seemed to be overly bothered about whether or not she could endure the transformation. He was determined to make it so, bargaining for at least a night of sleep since the poor thing looked so drained. Her sister was pale it was true but there was something about the bags under her eyes that didn’t sit well with him. Alone, afraid, his mate looked nothing like the strong woman who had spoken out against the injustice her family were facing, and he would have devoted every last inch of himself to seeing her smile if only the timing was right. But he had scared her to, hadn’t he? His reaction to what was obviously a very upsetting scar of all things…

It was the principle of the thing! To think someone else’s venom had entered her bloodstream, that someone else had tasted the alluring wine lingering in her veins! The thought had driven him to near madness as most other things about her had that day. It had started off quite gently, as the mate pull should be he supposed. Her scent had made him pause, watching from a distance as she spied on them with no real idea of the consequences it held for either of them, breathing her in one deep inhale at a time as he tried to figure out why the scent was so alluring – then recoiling in surprise when he realised it was because it was all his favourite scents rolled into something unique and tantalising on the tongue. Curiosity had been the first major emotion, itching at his brain, and when Aro’s impatience had forced him to reveal himself to her, it had been quiet, reverent awe that came next.

Awe that he could have the privilege to gaze upon a creature so lovely, from the red tinge to her cold skin to the soft waves of hair that almost begged him to run his fingers through it. The moment he had dared meet her gaze the world calmed, like a storm had brewed and raged within him without him ever noticing until that moment. There was nothing and no one, not a sound or a directive that could have moved him for the seconds it took the mate pull to thrum in the back of his mind, slowly beginning the momentous task of realigning every instinct and every fibre of his being to her, making her the focal point of his existence. This experience was supposed to be sweet and slow, yet watching her wilt under Aro’s stare, knowing the danger she was in, had only sped it up, fate intervening to ensure he protected what was his so he didn’t lose it too soon. The moment his Master leaned forward he knew well his intentions, and Demetri couldn’t honestly recall what happened next since his body had took the lead and given his mind a backstage pass to watch the show from afar.

“You’ve been out of sorts since you met her. Is the pull that strong or is there something more at play here?” Felix asked, a low murmur that only their little booth would hear. Though they made no effort to be friendly his friends had, at the very least, kept their conversations at a more human volume so she would not be left out. Even if she did not take part in their discussions she was not excluded from them. Demetri reflexively tightened his grip, still unable to move his eyes from her for even a moment. He still felt like he was on high alert, like he was waiting for the enemy to come crashing in at any moment and take her from his grasp.

“Yes Demetri do tell, you’ve fawned over her like one might an infant.” Jane looked thoroughly amused at his discomfort and he made a mental note to pay her back for it later…when he could think straight. Every now and then, she would inhale deeply, curling tighter into the cloak he had wrapped around her before she had practically fallen into his lap, pressing tighter to his body as he held her close. He couldn’t understand it himself. Instinctually she knew, her body just…knew, surely? His scent, his presence, it had calmed her as it should. If her body knew to react to this bond, then why couldn’t her mind process it? Did she actually feel anything? Did she not have any of the confusing, intense emotion that he felt?

No…no it had to be the bite. That stupid, stupid bite. He couldn’t stop seeing it in his mind’s eye. She didn’t feel like his, that was the problem. He held her in his arms and she had come with him willingly but she wasn’t his, not till he erased that venom and replaced it with his own.

“Alec…I have a rather large favour to ask you.” He said finally, looking up at him. The boy tilted his head, silently studying the tracker before he nodded once.

“Then ask.” He invited. Even now he had to fight to keep his gaze on Alec, his eyes already itching to look back down and watch her expressions shift as she dreamed. It would be the last dream she ever had. He hoped it was a pleasant one.

“I need someone with me Alec, I cannot turn her alone…I suspect they know that, that that is my punishment for my disobedience on the battlefield earlier. I would have no one else do it anyway but…Alec if I cannot stop myself, please, I beg you stop me.” Demetri implored quietly. Alec seemed surprised at the intensity of the agony that was conveyed in his eyes. Demetri couldn’t really have explained it either, but every thread of his existence was tied so inextricably to her’s in the space of a few short hours that all he knew was that to lose her would be to lose himself. It had all happened so fast it was dizzying, but slowly the fog was clearing and his way out of this mess was clear. Turn his mate, ensure her safety throughout her newborn year, then they were both home free having proven their loyalty to one another and their coven – whether Y/N was there by a deal or by choice.

“Wouldn’t my gift be more effective at dissuading you?” Jane wondered.

“It would also be a wonderful way of ensuring I bite down and pull her throat out with my teeth.” Demetri pointed out, flinching slightly at the grotesque mental image.

“I can strip your taste. You would not want to keep feeding as it would feel pointless then.” Alec said finally. It was as close to an agreement as Demetri knew he would get and he nodded his gratitude as the jet began to descend. She stirred multiple times, his little human struggling to return to slumber each time she awoke as they moved between the landing strip and the Castle, something not even the warm embrace of his cloak could cure. She was blazing like a fire in his arms but seemed content with the temperature, dozing on his shoulder and then his bed after he left her cocooned there. Since she liked the warm, he made sure to stoke the fire before showering. He stayed under the warm water a long time, mind swirling with a number of burgeoning thoughts he couldn’t seem to shift.

His mate was right in the other room and yet she felt so far away from him. His whole life had changed drastically in the blink of an eye, and the price he was paying felt far too high. Her life was quite literally at stake, hanging in the balance where the only thing stopping the momentum from tipping too far to the wrong side was his self-control. Demetri had only ever bitten with the intent to feed, never feeling compelled to create company given he had never been a nomad and alone. Did he even have the self-control for this? The thought plagued him because that was his punishment, and he knew he had to endure for the sake of Y/N and himself. To lose her would be to condemn himself, yet with Chelsea on their side he was sure if Aro still felt he was of use he would never escape that particular torment.

By the time he had stepped out, dried and changed into something comfier than his official battle uniform, Y/N had slipped out of his cloak to curl up in front of the fire instead. With a pillow trapped between her chest and her knees, she hugged them close and stared into the flames, face half-covered by fabric and eyes red rimmed. It wasn’t difficult to smell the salt lingering on the damp fabric and understand what had happened in his absence. Oh, how his heart broke…

“I thought you were sleeping.” He said. She jumped, furiously wiping at her eyes before she somewhat relaxed again into her original position. She had tied her hair back now, long Y/H/C waves messily scraped into a bun that hadn’t managed to capture every strand. He felt another painful pinch in his chest when she refused to look at him.

“I don’t really sleep.” She mumbled. Demetri frowned slightly, inching closer to test her boundaries. She didn’t say anything, merely let him slip ever so slowly until he was sitting beside her, his knees drawn up so he could rest his forearms on them – and keep his feet away from the fire. They sat in silence for a long while, Demetri counting every painful minute in his head as they ticked by, moments with his mate draining away like sand in an hourglass he could never get back. Why was it so hard to talk to her? Every time he opened his mouth he closed it again almost immediately, not knowing if something he said might set her off or upset her more. What did she speak about to others’? So much to learn and so little time till she was lost to the thirst for a while…

“Forgive me, for the way I acted when we returned to your home. It was…selfish.” He settled on that, a safe enough topic he supposed given it was the only real experience they had shared together.

“Yeah, it was.” she couldn’t seem to bring herself to speak any louder than a mumble. Demetri grimaced a little bit, staring into the fire dejectedly.

“I spoke without thinking, reacted without really thinking either, about the pain that wound must have caused you.” He continued.

“I’ve felt worse pain.” She frowned deeply and Demetri couldn’t help but flinch.

“Such as?” he asked, though the sense of foreboding growing in his gut told him he already knew the answer, deep down. Y/N looked furious with him then, her big eyes turning on him with so much hostility he could have sworn she might have actually won if she lunged to fight him in that moment. The anger and upset that radiated from her bled into him, seeping through the cracks in his calm façade and piercing his unbeating heart. He would have given anything to remove that look from her face, that pain in her chest.

“Such as? Such as! Are you aware that you’ve just taken me away from my family, the people I love, without even letting me say goodbye? Do you even comprehend how much I don’t want to be here? That the only reason I am is because you and me are supposed to be this miraculous soulmate story incarnate when the reality is the only thing you feel for me is utter disgust?” she snapped. Demetri wasn’t certain she knew for a fact she was crying, or how much her words wounded him, but he couldn’t keep the offense off of his face. It was a mortal blow to his ego and his pride, his character as a man, yet as furious as he wanted to be with her he still couldn’t bring himself to be. She was young and hurting, deeply wounded and trying to create a chasm between them where fate wouldn’t allow it to exist in an effort to deal with that hurt.

“I do not feel disgust for you nor was it my choice to bring you here! You made a deal with Aro knowing full well the terms which you were agreeing to. You are the reason you are here Y/N, and so long as you choose to stay with me my every effort will be expended into protecting you from yourself. Foolish girl, can you not see he has us both trapped? That we are both being punished here? My own disobedience may have sped up the arrival of your fate but it is one you readily signed yourself over to.” he hissed.

He hated it. The revulsion boiled and writhed in his gut as he ground his teeth together, his mind buzzing with a thousand other angry words he forced back down his throat lest he make things worse. None of this was right. He shouldn’t be arguing with her like this. They should be happy, shouldn’t they? Happy as everyone else who was lucky enough to find their mate…shouldn’t they?

“I don’t have a choice, and neither did you,” She reminded him, “or clearly you would have chosen less damaged goods.” The air between them was polluted with their anger, their grief, and yet…her voice wavered. The sentence itself was so wrong but the tone of her voice, the way her hand moved to her throat, that pinched expression that suggested she was tortured by her own insecurities, was really what gave it away. How could he be angry at her now? With a drawn out sigh, Demetri scooted slightly closer and turned himself toward her, scrutinising her side profile.

Y/N closed her eyes, no doubt sensing his gaze and wishing it would leave her skin. He reminded himself she was fragile, that his little human would shatter easily under too forceful a touch, and drew his finger beneath her eye with such care it barely touched her skin and did little to remove the tears he wished he could wipe away. They had started all wrong, but it didn’t mean they had to continue the same way. Maybe it was inappropriate, maybe it was the wrong time, but he needed her to know it was something he could move past. He needed her to know that she wasn’t damaged goods, that she wasn’t something he regretted or felt the need to change – at least not in that way.

His fingers clasped around her wrist, afraid to grip too hard but ever so careful in the way he pulled her palm from her throat. Demetri closed his eyes, pressing his forehead to her temple as she froze up beneath him, feeling the icy tips of his fingers brush her delicate throat. Her pulse hammered beneath the pads of his fingers, blood rushing beneath her paper-thin flesh…

“Relax, trust me.” He whispered, tracing the indents of teeth in hardened flesh. He didn’t feel quite so angry about it this time, though he couldn’t say he was thrilled by it either. Demetri exhaled slowly, held his breath, and dipped his head a little lower.

“What are you doing?” she demanded, jerking her head backward. She didn’t move out of his grip though and there was the slightest hint of fear on her face. Demetri shook his head.

“I will not harm you,” he vowed, moving slowly so as to give her time to move away again, “You are not broken goods Y/N, and the way I see it I _did _choose you, though not consciously perhaps not consciously. Your very soul reached out to mine and I accepted what I knew would be best for me. You were never a choice, you were a necessity.” His bold words had left her utterly stunned and she didn’t fight him at all as he placed his lips over the marred flesh of her throat. He placed two kisses against that scar that brought them so much pain, just two, but it was enough to set them on the right path this time. Demetri pulled his head back, watching her carefully as she stared at him in utter astonishment. His head had cleared, his mind set right; he had never been as certain about anything in his life as he was about Y/N, whether the rest of the world was against them or not.

“But you said…you said your only hope was to…” she looked so confused in that moment it almost made him swoon. How adorable she was when her nose scrunched like that! He could watch the expression all day, but she needed an answer.

“What I said remains true, I have every plan to change you in the same way in the hopes I might not have to remind myself another ever dared lay a hand on you, but there will be contingencies to ensure I do not fail and you are safe. All that matters to me now is that I succeed in this endeavour.” He confessed, settling back against the sofa’s edge once more with a quiet sigh. The silence that followed was far more comfortable than the first one, something more companiable in the air between them. He was pleased she scooted a little closer to him so they could watch the flames together, their crackling no longer drowned out by the exchange of angry words. He wanted to ask her a thousand more questions, get to know her, but there would be time enough for that later on. For now he wished only to bask in this silent moment where things felt more right between them than they had since they met.

“They’re hoping you’ll kill me, aren’t they?” her quiet voice broke that silence a few hours later, as the sun was starting to set in the sky and night fell over Volterra. She was running out of time and Demetri wasn’t sure when that had begun to bother him to this extent, but the room was going to feel so empty without her heartbeat to fill the quiet.

“Yes. I believe that that is my punishment to endure for my disobedience.” He agreed, voice equally as quiet as he turned to look at her. He couldn’t remember when she had placed her head against his shoulder, but she lifted it now to meet his eyes.

“You didn’t do anything wrong though, I did, my mouth got us both in trouble.” She frowned. Demetri chuckled ruefully.

“Your mouth will get you into trouble for a while yet I believe, but my own impudence in placing myself between you and Master Aro was equally as displeasing to them. I wilfully subordinated your sentencing in front of many witnesses outside of our coven, after all.” He grimaced. He would change nothing about that moment, he had decided, not when it brought him so tangibly close to forever with his mate. It was right within his grasp now, an eternity of being fulfilled, happy, of having a purpose beyond the walls he once held so dear – he had something new to protect.

“So…they want to punish us both then…and being an out of control newborn is only going to make it worse for both of us.” She mused, though she didn’t seem in the least bit concerned. In fact, if Demetri had to guess, she was rather looking forward to the chance to raise a little hell within their walls. He was as worried and exasperated by the idea as he was amused by it.

“Indeed it just might, though I promise not to let you get too out of hand.” He nudged her lightly with his arm and she giggled, the sound absolutely melodious to his ears. He almost begged her to do it again purely so he had a better chance to commit it to memory, something to keep him company while she endured the change and reminded him of the better times to come. Finally, it felt like he had done something right…now he just had to keep that sweet smile in place.

“You promise huh? Way I see it, its a bit us vs them right now isn’t it? If they can be so unfair to you of all people…” she trailed off. Demetri felt his own smile fall slightly, his expression somewhat vacant as he pondered the accusation. In truth he did feel somewhat betrayed. Chelsea had actually threatened the Masters’ when she first brought home Afton and they wanted him killed, yet she received no punishment, so why had he? He was protecting what was rightfully his after all, someone he could never be truly happy without again. What was so wrong about it?

“Us and them…”he echoed, the thought both perturbing and…thrilling. She hummed, suddenly pushing up onto her knees beside him, eyes alight with fierce determination.

“You’re making a lot of promises but there’s nothing to say you’ll keep them so…lets make a real promise, right now.” She instructed. His eyebrows rose slightly.

“In my day and age when a man gives his word it is an ironclad contract little one, the breaking of which eroded his position in society and status as a man.” He replied slightly insulted. Her head tilted.

“Well we’re not in the Bible era anymore so…” she shot him a devilish grin as he snorted and feigned an offended expression, “It’s a real simple promise. Since we’re supposed to be the next Gomez and Morticia, and we’re clearly the only ones willing to see if that can work out, then I say we promise right now it’ll always be us against them. Hell, it’ll be us against the world if we need it to be. Whatever we do…we back each other up.” She proposed, offering her hand to him. Y/N extended her pinky but left her other fingers curled in, and Demetri wasn’t too sure what exactly was expected of him as he mulled over her words.

They felt right. Wasn’t this what the mate bond was supposed to be? Someone to always support you? Protect you? Someone to always have your back? If not his mate then who? Maybe the Masters’ who would so readily forsake his happiness weren’t the best choice of allies…

“Though I do not know what half of your speech actually meant, I can promise you this. Whatever we do, we back each other up.” He agreed, offering her his hand in the hopes she’d guide him through this next part. Demetri couldn’t honestly say he had any clue what was so different about this handshake and how it was any more significant than any other, but as she looped her pinky through his and shook his hand he couldn’t help but smile. With a firm nod and a sharp exhale, she suddenly reached down and pulled her jumper off with a flourish, revealing an expanse of pale skin and a wonderfully bright blue lace bra Demetri struggled to look away from as he choked on the air he was breathing.

“Okay so first step, you turn me.” She seemed completely unbothered by her partial nakedness, even when he struggled to stop the venom pooling in his mouth and his fingers from reaching out to drag her closer. She looked entirely confident in him and though he wanted to be flattered Demetri had his mind on very different matters in that moment.

“I – you – Alec is going to- to help.” He choked out, eyes wide and completely fixed to her chest. She visibly lost some confidence then, a beautiful, vibrant shade of red painting her cheeks as her arms came up to cross her chest with a squeak.

“O-oh. I…I th-think I need a shirt then?” she sounded almost as strained as he felt and with a quick nod he dashed to his closet to find her something appropriate. He dutifully kept his head turned away while she buttoned up one of his shirts. When she cleared her throat to let him know he could look again she was still blushing brightly, and Demetri managed a slightly strained smile.

“So er…Alec’s room is just down the hall, er…shall we?” he asked, offering her his hand.

“No need, I heard my name and decided to drop in.” Alec’s voice was smooth as ever but there was an underlying hint of mischief there that made Demetri tense, and it wasn’t until after the deed was done that he dared speak his mind.

“How much did you see, Alec?” he didn’t risk looking at him, not wanting to see the shit-eating smirk he was sure was going to be on Alec’s face. He focused instead on cleaning the blood from her skin and ensuring she was comfortably resting upon his sheets. She started to twitch a bit, a pained grunt escaping here and there as Alec’s mist retreated from them.

“What I did or didn’t see is of no consequence…though I think you’re in for an interesting life if she’s as willing to undress herself for you after the change as she was before it.” His cackling could be heard down the hall as he fled from the room before Demetri could hit him, the tracker closing his eyes and counting to ten before deciding he could let it go for now. He had much bigger things to attend to after all. He had never been one to fuss too much over little things, but suddenly the sheets on the bed were not tucked in enough, the curtains letting in too little or too much light, the air in the room too stale and then too full of scents when he opened the window. There was no such thing as perfection and yet, as she burned, Demetri strived for it.

It felt worth it though, when she finally opened her eyes. It was rather amusing to him to watch her take it all in, the thousands of different smells and the way they tasted in the air, the shimmer of her skin, the speed with which she had sat up and moved. Demetri almost envied her when she finally locked eyes with him, the minute way the vivid red irises widened and the soft gasp that escaped through parted lips telling him she too had felt that momentous pull realigning her entire being with his own – he wished he could experience it again. She approached him with such caution it was almost comical, and Demetri was the one to reach for her first. She jumped at his touch but quickly relaxed into it, letting him hold her hand and squeeze lightly.

“This feeling…”she whispered, her own voice startling her with the musical notes it now contained. Her fingertips traced soothing patterns against his palm and Demetri held back a contented sigh, too enamoured with watching her explore the new feelings and beginning to understand his position in all of this.

“Intense?” he guessed, lifting his free hand to push back some of her hair. The slightest of scars remained where he hadn’t quite managed to cover Riley’s teeth marks with his own, but the majority of it was gone, sealed over with the same venom that had stopped her heart and ensured she would hand the organ and all it contained to him. She nodded distractedly, following his hand with her head until he caved and cupped her cheek tenderly with a low chuckle. His thumb stroked her cheek lovingly, his heart bursting in his chest. She had done it, his mate had defied them all with a little help and now…now there was nothing more for them to do than enjoy eternity.

“Is it forever?” she asked innocently, looking up at him through her lashes. Demetri pulled up the hand that was holding hers, lacing his fingers through her own and leaning down to press his forehead to hers.

“Always and forever little one, it’s us against the world.” He promised. Their noses brushed as her head tilted, pushing forward and pulling back as if trying to decide if she should or not. Demetri decided for her, meeting her halfway and letting their lips meet in the first of many sweet kisses to come. He had never tasted her blood thanks to Alec, but he was sure now that if the boy had failed at his task he certainly would not have been able to stop and his mate would not have been standing before him, sweet and alive and willingly walking into his embrace. The taste of her was sublime, addictive even, and he knew he’d never tire of kissing her. Though she’d need to learn to be a little more careful with him first.

A/N: Usually I wouldn’t do this but I tried a few new things here today I’d like some feedback on please! How do you like the taglist? Should I keep it? Add anyone to it? Take anyone off it? And how do you like the idea of a gif or a picture (when I can find them) to brighten up the post a bit? All that’s left to do now is rejig my Masterlist a bit...Thanks for reading folks.

#twilight #twilight fanfiction #demetri volturi #swan sister reader #demetri volturi x female reader #volturi #felix volturi #alec volturi #part 2 #request #honestly this ending just spilled out of me #so fluffy

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