#but the fact is that he wouldnt be where he is surrounded by the people he is without mob and everything around him only serves to remind

[grimalkinmessor]

Sometimes I think about the MP100 S3 finale and Reigen saying "You don't need me anymore" but never saying anything about him not needing Mob anymore, how it was basically a goodbye and that's why he started to cry, because he wanted it to last forever, because he's going to miss him more than anything, and the fact that afterwards we skip six months into the future where the city is fixed, where Tome works at Spirits & Such alongside Serizawa, but there are no new desks so it implies that Mob no longer works there, that he's moved on with his life and is only visiting a fond memory by attending Reigen's birthday, making up for the last one he missed, throwing cake in Reigen's face because the reverence is gone they're no longer Master and Disciple but they're still old friends even if they've grown rapidly apart, and how Reigen was holding back tears seeing everyone there but in particular facing Mob's direction, and in the spinoff Reigen looks up at the fake Mob who's still in his school uniform and he doesn't even fight back against it even though he has to know it's not real because he misses those days even though he knows he shouldn't—and then I just

[loveonarooftop]

well im gonna be parasocial for a second i feel like everything taylors doing rn is a cry for help and i think at this point shes doing everything to like entice joe to do or say anything about her and the fact that he isnt is just pissing her off even more and the whole "im the happiest ive ever been" bullshit is just that bullshit, like shes parading her own life around like a freakshow which shes in the past talked about how she hates but now shes making a spectacle of probably the worst break up of her life to pretend for herself that shes good but the way some of you guys are acting about it to is crazy like im not saying that i know how it feels but critically thinking like youre with someone for 6 years talking about how theyre the love of your life bla bla and then you switch it up all off a sudden theyre the worst person to ever have lived and they keep you in prision and it was the worst time of your life? its weird at best and at worst well......

[itsss4t4n]

Safe with You - Regulus Black x potter! reader

a/n: THIS TOOK SO LONG BUT I ABSOLUTELY ADORE IT. (6558 words)

warnings: mention of abuse, smoking, hurt/comfort, kissing, background wolfstar and (barely mentioned) rosekiller

You didnt remember a time where Regulus Black didnt hate you.

Being James Potters younger sibling, most of his friends were also yours, so when sirius started talking about how much he hates his family , including Regulus you didnt question it much, but you never really had anything against him personally.

But it didnt help that, from the beginning of yours and Regulus first year he was pretty much a dickhead. He made it a point to be better than everyone and to tell them so. 

That started a rivalry between the both of you. Battleing for top of the class. 

All of this only got worse when, in the middle of the winter holidays in your 5th year, Sirius appeared at your doorstep, bleeding and asking for help.

After that point Regulus made sure to show you how much he hated you even more.

You just assumed that he hated you because of your family. Blood-traitors. 

In the beginning of your 6th year you had started to sneak away onto the astronomy  tower a lot of nights. 

It was nice up here. Quiet. You found solitude from the stressful schoolday and your Brother and his friends. You loved them, of course. But it was a lot of pressure. Most people just saw you as James sibling. And they expected you to be like him. It was honestly really exhausting.

Your parents didnt help a lot either. As much as they said they loved you equally, you always felt like James and now Sirius were more important to them. You were just the perfect little sibling. You were quiet and you had good grades so they didnt need to worry much about you. You felt neglected. But you also understood them. James didnt try as much in school, concentraiting more on pranks than homework and Sirius obviously had a lot to deal with because of his past.

So you snuck away when everyone was sleeping. In your pyjamas and a jacket you quiely left the common room and went to he astronomy tower. 

When you arrived you didnt pay much attention to your surroundings and so you didnt notice the other person that was sitting against the outside wall of the tower. You had already pulled out the pack of cigarettes that you had nicked from Sirius a week prior and were beginning to light it when you stepped against the railing. 

Taking a drag and pulling the cigarette away from your mouth you finally heard shuffling behind you. You quickly turn your head, scared that you're gonna find a prefect, or worse, Filch behind you. But instead you see a boy sitting a few meters away from you, his back to the wall of the tower, his dark hair covering his face. 

"Sorry i didnt realize someone was here." 

He finally looks up at you and you finally see his face.

"Black? The fuck are you doing here?" Your voice is a mix of confusion and annoyance at he fact that your solitide was disturbed by him of all people.

"I could ask you he same thing Potter." His voice was quiet and annoyed. Like he didnt want to deal with this right now. He sounded exhausted.

And at a second glance he looked it too. He had dark bags under his eyes and if you looked closely you could see a bruise at the side of his face. You didnt remember seeing it earlier during potions class but maybe he had covered it with magic. 

You had the urge to comment on it but remembered all the things thatt sirius would tell you about his parents and you had a feeling it had something to do with that. And that was a topic that you were sure wouldnt end well.

So you settled on "You look like shit."

He didnt answer and only looked at you even more annoyed. 

Shrugging, you simply looked away from him and lifted your cigarette back to your lips.

Regulus didnt move from his spot, so you assumed that he didnt care much that you were there.

You didnt feel like standing any longer, so you sat against the same wall regulus was sat against, now only a meter between the two of you. afer a few seconds you held out the pack of cigarettes to him .

"want one?" 

He took one without a word and you handed him your lighter when he put it beween his lips.

After that the two of you sat in silence looking at the nightsky. After almost 30 minutes of sitting in silence, you slowly moved to stand up.

"Well... I better go to bed. goodnight Black." 

You had only taken a step or two when Regulus spoke up for the first time since you got there.

"If you tell anyone i was here, you're dead potter."

You turn to him with a small smile.

"I wont. If i did i would have to tell them that i was here."

With that you left, leaving regulus confused on why you wouldnt want anyone knowing you were there. He left shortly after you did.

That night started a routine of you going up to the tower to find regulus either already there or arriving a few minutes later. You would sit in silence together, smoking a cigarette or two, before leaving again. Neither of you ever talked much.

During the day both of you acted like you always did. Like you werent sitting next to each other in almost friendly silence a few hours prior.

You never told your brother or any of your friends about it.

At some point you had started to talk to him instead of just sitting in silence. Not much. And certainly not anything of sustance. Mostly just complaining about professors and homework. But he never complained about it. He never said anything to be honest. He just sat and listened in silence. This continued almost every night unil the winter holidays.

You were standing on platform 9 3/4 with your family and Sirius, saying goodbye to your parents when you noticed Sirius glaring at something past your head. Turning around you see Regulus and his parents. Regulus looked even more exhausted than usual and even from the distance you could see him tensing up as his father put his hand on Regulus shoulder.

Something had happened over the holydays, you could tell.

James voice ripped you out of your thoughts. "Hey what are you two staring at?"

"Nothing." 

You answer immediately, turning back around and hugging your parents one last time. 

"Come on or we'll miss the train." 

That night during dinner you kept catching yourself looking at Regulus. Each time you seemed to notice a new reason to worry.

First how tense he seemed, then his eyebags, worse than you've ever seen them, how he fully ignored all his friends, how he made sure that his hair was alwas covering his left cheekbone and temple, how he seemed to constantly have a hand holding his ribs.

At one point you cought his eyes, giving him the slightest smile, hoping no one else caught it. 

You mouthed 'astronomy tower' hoping that he saw it, before turning back to your friends to answer the question that Marlene had just asked.

That night when you arrived at the tower Regulus was already there, sitting with his back against the wall and his head down, just like he first time you met him there. 

But this time when you sat next to him and he looked up at you, you could see the tears in his eyes threatening to fall. Without a word you pulled him into a hug, his head laying against your shoulder, and just held him as his tears finally spilled.

He didnt make a sound, he just silently let his tears fall. And you held him through it.

It took him about 20 minutes before he pulled away from you. He didn dare look into your face, just sitting right next to you staring at the stars.

After a minute or so of you observing his face you finally asked softly.

"What happened?"  

He didnt say anything for a few seconds. He didnt react at all. You thought maybe he didnt hear you but right as you opened you mouth to ask again, he finally answered.

"How much has Sirius told you about our family?" His voice was quiet and broken.

"A lot. He's told us pretty much anything they would do to him." 

He took a deep breath before he talked again, still refusing to look at you.

"When he was still there, they never really did anything to me. But when he left..." He swallowed "they needed someone else to blame all their problems on. They started to find faults in me. I pretty much became Sirius replacement. When they were angry they let it out on me. The night he left was the worst. I had begged him too stay. But he didnt. He just left me there. And they let all their anger about the situation out on me."

 His voice was shaky and quiet. He sounded unsure if he should be telling you this.

You honestly were surprised that he told you this. Even if you had been "hanging out" for almost half a year now. You didnt think he trusted you like this. And he proboaly didnt.

"Regulus.." His name left your mouth in a whisper. You had never called him by his first name before. 

Hearing his name out of your mouth finally made him look at you.

You slowly grabbed his hand, squeezing it. "I'm so sorry.." 

His gaze drifted from you face to your now joined hands. You expected him to pull his hand away but he just looked away at the stars again.

Neither of you said anything else.

That night was a turning point for both of you.

You stopped being hateful to each other in public. You werent friendly either. It was a silent truce. Your rivalry for top of the class was still there but it was less hateful.

Your nightly meetings slowly turned into talking about feelings. He told you about his friends, the few that were actually decent. Evan Rosier, Barty Crouch jr and Pandora Lestrange. Those were the three that actually semed pretty nice. According to Regulus they didnt really care that much about blood  status, Regulus didnt either. He had learned a lot from Sirius perspective, he was just way more scared of their parents, so he hid his opinions. 

You told him about your family problems, even though they were miniscule in comparison. About how you always felt like you stood in james shadow. 

Over time you and Regulus had come to a point were you honestly considered each other friends.

You still didnt tell any of your friends or you brother about it. You knew they wouldnt take it well.

But all of them noticed a change in you. How you seemed happier.

"Are you dating someone?" 

You nearly choked on your food, when Marlene asked that all of the sudden during dinner. 

"What?!" All conversation between your friends had halted as they all looked at you expectantly. "No! Why would you think that?" 

James looked stupidly relieved at that. He never liked the thought of you dating someone. 

It was Sirius that answered your question.

"Oh, c'mon. Even a blind person can see that you act different." You just looked at him confused. so he clarified. "You are so much happier, you constantly smile at nothing, you zone out. You're either dating someone or you have a big fat crush on someone. So go on. Spill." 

Your eyes widen in shock. Had you really been that obvious? Yes ,during the past few months you may have developed a little cush on the younger Black. But c'mon that obvious? 

But obviously you couldnt tell your friends that. Especially not Sirius and James. They would die of a heart attack on the spot.

"Do you really think if i had a crush on someone i wouldnt tell any of you? Not even Marlene or Lilly?" That was a good safe. Because yes, you usually told the girl pretty much every detail of your life. Even when you had a crush on Remus back in 4th year before you knew that he was gay. And very much in love with Sirius.

Sirius deflated on that. "Yea.. i guess that is true."

They finally picked up their previous conversations and you stole a quick glance at the slytherin table. But instead of Regulus eyes you met those of Evan Rosier. 

He had his eyes already on you and winked at you with a sly grin when our eyes met. Next to him Regulus had noticed that exchange and hit Evan in the side with his elbow. You looked at them confused as Regulus angrily whispered something to Evan who just laughed in reply.

Had Regulus told them? You made a mental note to ask him that night.

When your eyes finally went back to your friends you met Remus eyes who just lifted one eyebrow and smiled knowingly at you. 

You ignored him and went back to eating.

Later that evening you were sat in the common room doing potions homework when Remus excused himself from the boys to walk over to you. You looked up at him for a second as he sat down next to you before going back to writing. 

"You know, at some point they're gonna find out." 

"I have no idea what you're talking about Rem." He couldnt know. Right?

"Yea you do. You know, you're lucky that i'm the one that keeps the map most nights."

At that you froze. Your quill a few centimeters over your parchment. 

The map. 

Shit.

How did you forget about that.

Remus noticed your stressed facial expression. 

"They dont know. I havent told them dont worry. " You relaxed a little at that. "But you know its only a matter of time before one of them finds out."

You let out a breath that you didnt realize you were holding before putting down your quill, frowning at the spot of ink on you parchment, that had dripped from the quil. 

"How long have you known?" 

"Right before The holidays." 

"Rem that is so long! Why didnt you tell me that you know?!" You whisper yelled to make sure none of the other boys heard you.

"I wanted you to tell me when you were ready."

Your face softens. Of course. You dont answer.

"Sooooooo... you want to talk about it? He sure has you happy so he clearly cant be that bad." He says with a smile.

"You have no idea." You grin.

That conversation led to an almost 1 hour long talk of you talking about Regulus. How nice he is. How attractive, because god did you find him attractive. You told him about Regulus friends. How you think that at least Evan knows. Why Regulus is actually mad at Sirius. Everything. Because you knew that Remus wouldnt tell anyone. He has always been good at keeping secrets.

"You are so whipped for him, oh my god.." He told you at the end of your rant with a small chuckle.

You felt your face get hot. "Oh fuck off. Like you arent evenly as whipped for Sirius."

"Oh low blow." You just stuck out your toungue at him in response.

Remus then got a little more serious again. "Are you gonna tell him that you like him?"

You bit the inside of your lip. "I dont know Rem. I dont think he likes me like that and i dont wanna destroy something good yk."

"Yea i know what you mean." He looks over at Sirius.

You change the topic slightly. "So, uhh.. take the map tonight?"

He looks back at you with a grin. "Yea i got it. I'm gonna go back to the others. You finish that homework before you leave tonight."

"Yea, yea, whatever."

That night your walk to the astronomy tower is interrupted.

"Oi Potter!" You stop and turn around in surprise to see a ginning Evan Rosier.

"Rosier? What do you want?" 

"Oh nothing really" He is a bad liar. "Where're you headed to after curfew?"

You narrow your eyes at him. "I dont see why that is any of your business."

He knows. And you know that.

"Alright fine. I know you're meeting with Reg." You sigh and turn back around to continue your walk to the tower.  Evan quickly follows you.

"Listen, Reg kinda let it slip that you guys have been meeting up." 

"Okay? That still doesnt answer why youre talking to me right now."

"Well our Reggie seems pretty over the moon with you so i wanted to see for myself. He likes you you know. Like a lot." He is grinning from ear too ear now. 

But its what he said that makes you pause in your steps for a second. 

"What?"

"Oh yea, boy is smitten." He grins but immediately notices his mistake and his smile drops. "No wait. Forget i said that. You didnt hear anything okay?"

Your face is flushed now. Did Evan just tell you that Regulus likes you? Like... Like liked you?

"Uhm- Right."

"But just hypothetically... if you did hear something.... Would that something be reciprocated or not? Because if it was i wouldnt feel so bad for you hypothetically hearing something."

You dont even know what to say to that. You really didnt want to tell Evan about your crush on Regulus. Sure he trusts Evan but you really didnt know the guy.

"None of your business Rosier." You start walking again, while Evan just stays were he is. 

"Im taking that as a yes. Dont tell Reg that i hypothetically told you that. Im not ready to die yet." 

"Whatever Rosier!"

Your thoughts are racing. Regulus likes you. Except Evan is just trying to mess with you. But that doesnt seem like something he would do. Atleast not from what Regulus told you.

You are so in thought that you almost dont notice Regulus waiting when you reach the top of the tower.

You only snap out of it when you hear him call your name. 

"You good?"

"Hm? Oh yea. Sorry, just thinking." You sit down next to him, like always and pull out your pack of cigarettes. You kept stealing them from Sirius and he kept wondering how they keep dissappearing.

"About?" 

"Rosier just talked to me." You werent gonna tell him about the hypothetical thing Evan told you. But you were definetely gonna talk to him about the fact that Evan knew.

"Evan? Why?" He reached over, pulling a cigarette out of your pack without asking.

"He knows?" Was all you answered as you pull your lighter out of your jacket.

Regulus laughed nervously. "Uh- yea, i mightve slipped up on that. Sorry. I swear he wont tell anyone." 

"Its fine, you can tell your friends as long as they keep it to themselfs." You lift your lighter to light your own cigarette, when Regulus suddenly leans into your space to light his cigarette at the same time as yours. His face only centimeters away from yours. 

You flush. Fuck that was hot. He leans back with a slight grin. He knew exactly what he was doing to you.

"Any of your friends know?" He asks as if he didnt just do that. Fucker.

"Well.. Remus knows. I didnt tell him. He figured it out on his own." You stammer out. 

Goddamn it. 

"Lupin? Makes sense. Hes smart. He knows everything." 

"Yea except for the fact that Sirius is painfully obvious in love with him. Thats the one thing he doesnt seem to notice."

"Wait what?" He seems confused. Shit. Did you just out Sirius to his brother? You thought he knew.

"Did- Did you not know Sirius is gay?"

"No, that much is obvious." Oh thank god. "I meant, Those two arent a couple?"

That makes you laugh. 

"No! They've been in love with each other for years but are the only ones that havent realized it yet."

Regulus is both surprised and amused by that information.

"They had me fooled. I thought they've been together for forever." He's barely holding back his laughter.

"Nope just incedibly dense. Both of them." 

Neither of you can stop the laughter at that point.

You think that this might be the most genuine laughter and smile you've ever seen from Regulus. 

Your laughter dies down a little as you look at him. His head thrown back, eyes closed and mouth open in a bright grin as he laughs. He looks beautiful.

You just stare for a few seconds, with a soft smile on your face.

He stops laughing and notices your staring.

"What?" He asks, smile still on his face.

"You're Beautiful." You answer without thinking about it.

When you see his pale face flush a light pink shade in surprise you realize what you just said and look away in embarrassment.

"I- Uh- I mean.." Fuckfuckfuck. Why did you just say that. Its true yea, but still. Oh my god. You are such an idiot.

"So are you." Those three words are all it takes for your rambling thoughts to dissapper fully. 

Brain empty.

You look back at him. His face is still a little pink but he has a little smile adorning his lips.

You dont know what to answer so you just stare in silence. Evans words from earlier come back to your mind.

Well our Reggie seems pretty over the moon with you ,so i wanted to see for myself. He likes you you know. Like a lot.

FUCK. You are a goner at this point.

Luckily for you Regulus seems to notice your inner turmoil and changes the conversation to something easier without a second thought.

"So, did you finish that potions homework yet?"

You are honestly thankful thatt he is just able to do that. Make you think about something else.

But for the rest of the night, hell for the rest of the week all you can think about is that moment.

The next day all your friends can tell that you are even more in thought than usual but they know better than to press on it.

Except for Remus. Between classes he pulls you aside to ask what happened. You tell him everything. 

From Evans slip up to Regulus calling you beautiful.

"Thats great! To me thats a clear sign that he likes you too." 

"But Rem what if i'm misinterpreting?!"

"You literally have confirmation from his best friend."

You dont have more time to talk about it because both of you have to get to your next classes.

But you keep thinking about the whole thing.

You could tell that something had changed between Regulus and you. Not in a bad way, you dont think.

You caught him looking at you more often. During meals, during class, during your meetings. You noticed because you were also looking at him more often. 

Eye contact for a few seconds to long and smiling before one of you would look away.

This went on for about two weeks. How often had you thought about kissing him during those two weeks? You had lost count. 

Then one night, Regulus had just made a joke that you had both laughed at for far to long, and when you finally stopped you realized how close you faces had gotten. 

Regulus had noticed too.

You were staring at each other, you eyes flicking from his eyes to his lips and back up. Your tongue darting out to wet your lips in a nervous tick as you caught his eyes looking at your lips too.

You subconciously moved even closer, noses now centimeters away from brushing against each other.

Regulus is the one that asks in almost a whisper "Can I kiss you?"

You cant get any words out so you simply nod your head ever so slightly.

Regulus leans towards you, closing the gap between you in a soft kiss. 

Its not heated, not rushed, its slow, soft and full with emotions.

Its perfect.

When you part, neither of want to fully pull back. Your noses still almost touching.

After a few second you gain your voice back and admit in a whisper.

"I really like you Regulus"

"Merlin I would hope so." He answers with chuckle. "I like you too."

You lean in to kiss him again. 

And again.

The rest of that night included a lot more kisses. As well as a talk about what you you were to each other. You were glad about that. Not knowing would have killed you probably.

You both came to the conclusion that you wouldnt be telling people (Except the ones that you trusted) but that you are in fact dating.

You wished that you could stay like that all night but unfortunately both of you needed sleep.

"Goodnight Reg" 

You kissed him one more time before starting to walk away, his hand in yours as long  as you could.

"Goodnight mon cherie." You smiled to yourself all the way back to your dorm.

The next morning Remus knew. He just knew it from one look at you. You were honestly so glad that he knew and you were able to tell him everything.

The last few months until summer went well. Hang outs, kisses and talking. Regulus also at some point properly introduced you to Evan. Honestly the two of you hit it of really well. 

The closer summer got, the more nervous both you and Regulus got. 

He would have to go back to his parents and you wouldnt be able to write each other without his parents asking questions.

You spent the last night before summer in eachothers arms, telling him to be careful. You didnt want to part from each other but reluctantly did so right before sunrise with a long, loving kiss.

That morning both of you kept stealing glances at each other, Remus doing his best to ease your worries.

On the platform you barely had enough time to see Regulus dissappear with his parents.

"You coming?" You turned around at James question.

"Yeah."

The first half of the summer was pretty uneventful, even though you still worried about Regulus.

For the second half, Remus had joined your family.

A week later you were helping your mother prepare dinner when you heard a soft knock on your front door.

Confused you turned toward Euphemia.

"Are we expecting someone mum?"

"Not that i know of. Would you mind checking who it is darling?"

"Sure." You quickly put down the plate you were previously holding and went to answer the door.

On the other side was the last person you expected to see. 

"Reggie?" Your voice filled with worry and almost a whisper. 

Regulus looked bad. Almost worse than Sirius when he appeared at your doorsttep a year and a half prior. He was bleeding and bruised, and looked like he was minutes away from keeling over.

His eyes met yours, filled with tears that were steadily flowing down his cheeks.

"I didnt know were else to go..." His voice was hoarse like he had been screaming and shaky from crying.

Before he had even finished his sentence he had stepped towards you, nearly falling into your arms. You hugged him back while pulling him back into the house with you with a small "cmon..".

Inside you let go of him, carefully guiding him into the living room and onto your couch only stopping near the kitchen to yell to your mother.

"Mum! We need the healing kit!"

Your mother immediately stuck her head out the kitchen door to see what was going on.

"Oh dear." She quickly left to get the kit.

Meanwhile you had carefully sat Regulus onto your couch,sitting next to him and holding his hand, scared that hugging would hurt him. You didnt need to ask what had happened. That much was pretty obvious.

"Regulus." You urged him to look at you with a small squeeze of your hand. "Hey.. Its gonna be okay. Your safe now. I promise."

He didnt answer but layed his forehead onto your shoulder and squezed you hand back. He was still crying although not as hysterically anymore.

Euphemia entered the room, healing kit in hand and carefully sat infront of Regulus on the floor. You had done this before so she knew to be careful as not to scare him.

"Regulus right?" Her voice was soft and quiet as if she was talking to a scared animal. He didnt react so you nodded at your mother to confirm that she had the right name.

"Regulus, I'm gonna heal you now. But i have to touch you for that. Is that alright with you?"

Regulus nodded ever so slightly with his head still against your shoulder. Euphemia caught the slight movement and immediately started to examine the extent of his injuries before starting to heal them one by one. It would take a while and she wouldnt be able to heal all of them fully right that moment. It had been the same with Sirius.

You quietly soothed him through all of it. Continuing to hold his hand, your thumb stroking over the back of his hands while you whispered comforting words into his ear.

Unfortunately in the middle of all this our brother and Sirius had decided to make their entrance.

"Hey mum, is dinner almost ready?" James asked while he and Sirius came down the stairs.

But before Euhemia could answer you heard both boys exclaim at the same time.

"What the fuck??!"

"Regulus?!"

Both of you looked up at them at the same time. Regulus face still stained with tears and blood.

Sirius made his way over in a instant, sitting beside your mother and grasping Regulus other hand in his bigger ones. His eyes were filled with worry. Of course they were. Even if him and Regulus werent on good terms, he was still his brother. And seeing him like that made him fall back into that role within seconds.

"Shit, what happened?? Did they..??" He didnt finish his sentence. He didnt have to. Because he also knew. 

Regulus started tearing up again and turned his head towards you to try and hide it.

You instantly hugged him against you in comfort, your second hand reaching up to the back of his head to cradle it against the junction of your neck and shoulder.

"Sssh, its okay Reg." Your face pressed against the side of his head a told him that.

Your eyes met James over Regulus head. He just stood there perplexed. Not only was Regulus fucking Black bleeding in his living room, but he also cuddled up close to his sister like they were close.

You knew that you had a lot of explaining to do later, but right now you had different priorities.

So you ignored James and continued talking to Reglulus in a quite voice to help him calm down, occasionally pressing little kisses to his temple and hair.

When your mother was done, she slowly got up. "I'll leave you guys alone for a bit. If you need something just call." 

She left the room at the same time as Remus entered, having come down to see what was taking the boys so long.

Remus quickly hid his surprise at the fact that Regulus was here and simply asked "Is he okay?".

You simply looked at him and said "He will be."

After that you all sat in silence for a few minutes, only disruted by Regulus quiet sniffeles.

When he had finally calmed down again he still refused to let go of you.

Remus was the first to speak up. 

"I think he should take a shower, get all that blood of him. Prongs, Padfoot, wait in the kitchen well join you in a minute." 

Both boys started to protest but Remus wasnt having it and herded them to the kitchen looking back at you for a second.

" I got it Rem."

You helped Regulus up, guiding him to the bathroom.

Once you were there you closed the door behind you and turned towards Regulus.

He grabbed you by your hips and pulled you towards him. Being close to you always comforted him.

You reached up to carefully hold his face in your hands. 

"Are you okay?" Worry was evident in your eyes and voice.

"Now that im with you i will be." He answered quietly, leaning down to lay his forehead against yours, his eyes closed.

Your quiet moment was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Hey." Remus. "Can i come in? I got you some clothes."

You pulled away from Regulus and opened the door, stepping aside slightly so Remus could hand Regulus the stack of dark clothing. 

"They're Sirius, so the should fit you." He then looked at you. "They have a lot of questions. You should come downsairs and talk to them."

You sigh. This was what you were scared of. "Okay, I'll be down is a few."

Remus nodded and sent one last smile at the two of you before leaving.

You turned towards Regulus again. "Do you need help with anything or are you good?" 

"I think im good" And then quieter. " Thank you. You dont understand how much all of this means to me." 

You smile at him and step closer to press a small kiss to his lips. "Of course. Im here for you. Always." Before leaving him to shower, closing the door behind you.

You take a deep breath before beginning your way to the kitchen. Halfway there you could already hear your brother.

"Why are you so calm about this Moony?! Did you know?!"

"Prongs will you calm down?"

"No-" 

All conversation halted when you entered the kitchen, all eyes turning to you.

James looked both confused and near furious and Sirius just looked confused. Like he wasnt sure what to make of the whole situation yet.

"Explain." Is all James said as he said down at the table and pointed at the chair across from him.

You said down and so did Sirius next to James, and Remus, next to you.

"After summer last year, I've started to go to the astronomy tower at night. Just for some peace and quiet, away from everything you know. 

One night he was there too. A few days after school start. He didnt really say anything. We just sat together. He didnt look good. Like, really tired and he had this giant bruise on his face. He had it hidden during the day, but that night i saw it. I didnt say anything about it, but i knew it was from his parents. 

After that night we just kept meeting there. We didnt talk, we really just sat in silence with each other. At some point i started to tell him about my day. He never said anything but he also kept coming."

You looked from James betrayed eyes down to your hands that layed intertwined with each other on the table.

"Then after christmas break, he looked so much worse than before. And that night he broke down. And he told me everything. About his parents. And how much worse the got after Sirius left." 

Your eyes flicked to Sirius face. Guilt written all over it.

"After that we just started talking to each other. About anything. He even introduced me to a few of his friends. They're honestlyy really nice. They dont support their parents ideas really. And a few months ago..."

You looked at Remus. His expression encouraging you to continue. 

Fuck it. Just rip of the bandaid.

"A few months ago we kissed and we've kinda been dating since then." Your eyes were glued to a little scratch in the surfice of the table. Refusing to meet James or Sirius glances.

"WHAT?!"

"Prongs. Calm down. I think they're good for each other. Its their life. Not yours." Thank merlin that Remus exists. You didnt know what you would do without him.

"How long have you known about is Moony?!"

Remus looked down for a second before meeting James eyes again. "Right before christmas."

James was about to answer something probably dumb, when Sirius suddenly turned towards you.

"I cant believe you wouldnt tell me you were in a relationship."

You chuckled nervously. "Thats the part that bothers you about this?"

"YES! And also I'm trying to focus on something that isnt the fact that your DATING MY LITLE BROTHER... so i dont freak out." You could tell that he was really trying.

"Im sorry i didnt tell you. I was just worried how you would react." You said apologetically.

"For good reason." Remus mumbled making you smile slightly.

James face softened. "Well.. as much as i dont agree with this. And i dont. For the record. Remus is right. Its your life. But if he tries to pull something you tell me alright? And ill take care of it."

"Oi thats my little brother your talking about!" That made you smile. At least they're trying. "But seriously, if he tries something you tell us." 

"He wont. But thank you." You smile at them. Remus laying his hand on your shoulder making you look over at him.

Then Sirius half joking, half serious voice makes you look at him again.

"But seriously my brother? Why? Out of everyone."

"Wow Sirius. I feel kind of attacked." At the sound of Regulus voice you quickly turn around.

He stood a meter behind your chair , black hair wet and tousled, his tall slim frame clad in a pair of black sweatpants and a black sabbath shirt. 

"Reg. How're you feeling?" Your voice was still filled with worry even though Regulus already looked a lot better. You held your hand out towards him, beconing him closer.

He took your hand, walking over to sit in the open chair to your left. Remus being on your right.

"Better." He said a soft smile on his face, as he just looked at you for a moment.

You smiled back at him before saying "I think we should get mum back and finish making dinner. You hungry?" 

"Starving." It sounded like a joke but honestly with his parents you could never know.

"Remus, make sure they're being civil okay?" You spoke as you got up, squeezing Regulus shoulder in passing. "I'll be right back."

Just as you left the room you could hear Sirius whine. "Moony we're always civil! I dont know what they mean."

"Yea yea Padfoot whatever you say." You could pracicaly hear the adoring smile in Remus voice.

Surprisingly when you came back with your mother, no one was dead. 

Your mother had pulled both you and James with her to help with the food, giving him the perfect oppertunity to keep asking you annoying questions about you and Regulus. 

Remus offered to set the table, giving Sirius and Regulus a chance to talk. Something they hadnt properly done in years. You didnt hear what they said but it ended in a hug so at least it was good.

Dinner was kind of awkward. Your Dad having to quickly be filled in on what happened when he arrived in the kitchen.

Regulus was given the guest room to sleep in, Remus had been sleeping in James and Sirius room anyways. So when you were sure he three boys were in bed you snuck into the guest room, cuddling up with Regulus under the blanket.

"I saw you speaking with Sirius earlier." He hummed in reply, his face hidden in your hair, his left arm around your waist, holding you close to him.

"Did you talk everything out?" You turn slightly in his hold so you could look a him. Your faces now right infront of each oher.

"Not everything. Thats gonna take a while. But he apologized. Its a start." His voice was low and tired.

" Thats good. I know how much you both missed each other." Again he simply hummed in response.

"I think we should sleep." You say with a grin. "You're barely awake anyway." Another hum.

You lean forward for a soft kiss. He kissed back. "Goodnight mon cherie."

You smile. "Sleep well Reggie." 

He cuddled back into you, his face against your neck, arms holding you close, legs tangled with yours.

You smile at his almost asleep form. 

He was okay. 

He was safe.

And he was yours.

And maybe. Just maybe. You would be okay.

[lolita-lollipop]

Ooooh I got an avatar request ;]

The reader has been friends with the sully kids for a while now but hasn't seen them ever since they moved to the metkayina clan. After hearing that kiri had fallen unconscious, she begs norm and max to accompany them to the islands, because she's worried about her friend. It pretty much follows the same as in the movie, they arrive, do a check up, find nothing and then get kicked out by neytiri. Reader is just chilling outside since she isn't allowed really allowed to be in the same room as kiri, but doesn't want to leave until she knows her firend is awake and healthy. The adults are talking with Jake, she's alone and that's where aonung and his gang arrive. Drama ensues. The conflict can be about literally anything and can end however you want, but there needs to be scene where the reader leaves a strong impression.

Sorry if the req I a bit long and thx <3

Protective

PROTECTIVE NETEYAM X HUMAN READER

When you had heard of kiri fainting underwater, it took you only a few seconds to grab your things and go beg norm to let you come with him. He was against it, of course, as he knew how the metkayinan people were with humans. But, you remained adamant, being that kiri was one of the best friends you'd ever had in your life, if she was hurt, you needed to be there. You wouldnt take no for an answer. Norm knew that.

so , you ended up sitting on a helicopter that was so old and beat up you thought it might fall out of the sky. Strapped down by a seatbelt, watching the waves pass by below. It made you nervous. The water, that is. Growing up in the forests with the sullys and norm, there was a lack of large bodies of water, the biggest was the falls under the hallelujah mountains, and even those were pretty little.

Also, on a more important note, you didn't know how to swim.

You don't know why, ever since you were little, water just freaked you out. Jake and neytiri saw that, and figured that you wouldn't need the skill of swimming, as you lived in the forest. Not out at sea. How ironic is that.

So, in your anxious state, you pulled at the wires of the mask, and tapped your nails at the metal of the chair. Staring down at how the waves washed over the ocean floor, unease slowly sunk into your mind, not only because kiri was sick, possibly dying, buut because you felt so out of your element. Norm noticed, but chose not to say anything, chalking it up to the fact that your best friend was in a coma.

When you landed, it only took a few moments to be surrounded with the natives, immediately lo-ak was on top of you in a bone crushing hug, you fell to the ground, and lo-ak proceeded to blow into your neck, tickling you like an older brother bullying his sister . Tuk then piled on top, then kiri, and then neteyam. THe metkayinas around stared at the odd display between human and na-vi. Strange. So strange.

But, a particular group of boys stood front and center, taking more notice than everybody else. They all snickered with eachother, staring at the alien freaks with an actual alien. They had all known of the sully families close association with humans, but bringing them here? And showing affection. Crazy.

“Lo-ak, tuk! Get off of her, now.” Neytiri hissed, pulling the four off of you, dropping them, and then giving you a small hug herself, her touch lingered for a little bit, but you chose not to say anything, neytiri was practically your mother. Hugging was A human tendency you liked, even though they very rarely did it.

Oh god how much you missed these people, you weren't allowed to come with them, mainly because it was dangerous for you to be far away from other humans, lest your mask break and you didnt have a backup, they didn’t want to risk it. But you still loved them so very much, and jumped at the chance to see them.

It didn't take very long for norm to be lead to where kiri was, and along with him, you. The sight of her alone brought so much happiness, you wanted to go up and tackle her, and scream to her about how much you missed her. To gossip about her brothers and others in this new place. THen you remembered she was unconscious, and that someone would probably pounce on you if you tried. A woman was huddled over her, crushing some form of healing herb.

You chose to stand by the doorway, making the active decision not to approach, you were one of the only people in human form here, also the only one without any medical experience, or anything that could help, other than that you were her friend. Norm sent a short glance your way, and then proceeded to approach kiri. You gathered by the door for a little while, then chose to sit outside and watch the water.

You were wary at first, staring at the little fish dancing about, but as norm took a painstakingly long time, it let you warm up to the flowing form of ey-wa. By the time an hour passed, you were lying chest down on the dock, both of your hands in the water, swirling figure eights into the foamy sea. The small sea creatures ebbed and flowed, following your hand , you watched the glittering little white squids play your fingers, they were almost cute.

You'd never seen such creatures before, they were different from any fish you’d ever seen at home, even in the biggest bodies of water. Your eyes followed them as they perked up and down in the water, putting on a show for you. The little squids held your attention so well that you barely even noticed the heavyset footsteps behind you. Not until it was too late.

A large hand hooked around your ankle, and with a swift motion, threw you off the peer, no warning, just a harsh splash as you plunged face first into the water. Shattering your mask along the way.

You hit the water heavy, diving in head first with a bent neck to the point of pain. All of a sudden, panic filled your lungs just as fast as water did, and you forgot all of the things anybody had ever told you about swimming, which already, was very little. You hadn't realized how deep the water really was, and before you knew it, you panicked more. Oh god.

your body Is sinking.

You flung your hands around, thrashing and splashing in the deep water, the fish around you swam around in a circle, seemingly trying to help. The glass that had broken upon impact found it's way into your eyes, and you let out a scream, continuing to thrash around.

Any efforts made to rise back to the surface were beaten by your lack of oxygen, and as the last bubbles of air left your mouth, you choked on your tongue, and began to fully drown. Black spots danced around in your peripheral vision, slowly closing in on you, your throat closed up, and your thrashing began to be much less violent, instead being replaced with small, weak movements.you heard yelling, but it was too far away to understand.

And then it all went blank.

---

“Tell them! Tell them what you told me!” A voice echoed around you. when you came to your senses, and were able to open your eyes, you were sitting in your own puddle of water, wet clothes and wet hair. A salty taste in your mouth. Your head was in Tuk’s lap, and she held an oxygen mask over your mouth and nose, smiling at you goofily when you met her eyes.

Your eyes burned, and you could feel how red and puffy they were without even touching them. You took deep breaths, remembering what it felt like to have all the air in your system sucked out of you, to slowly sink down with the increasing pressure of the water. So, instead of focusing on that, you sat up, locking eyes with neteyam, who was holding anoung by his ear, yelling at tonowari and ronal.

“It was supposed to be a joke- I didn’t think the human would drown!” The teal skinned na-vi slurred out, his mouth was bleeding, and a nasty blue bruise was already beginning to form on his temple. Jake and neytiri just stared at the scene, choosing not to speak, neither of them had ever seen neteyam so… unhinged.

Usually, he was the most perfect oldest child any parent could ask for, following rules, having a kind heart, listening like a puppy. But now. He had a look, more than a look really, his entire posture had changed, he looked uncontrolled, he looked like lo-ak . Neteyam punched that metkayina boy so fast it was uncanny. He looked feral, as the boy glanced between you and anoung, there was a deep ferocity in his gaze.

Even neteyam himself didn’t understand why he was acting like this, but seeing you underwater, and seeing the little pieces of glass from your mask float to the top, seeing you struggle so hard. It brought out something in him, something that made him want to bus anoungs face in. His dad even told him to calm down, but he still punched him in the face so hard it brought stars in his vision.

Nothing they say would change a damn thing. So they stayed quiet.

“The human has a name. What if she had died? What would you have done then? Would it still have been a joke?” Neteyam continued to scream, smashing the back of his head. The Navi boy just looked down in embarrassment, people were staring now. Including You, who was staring wide eyed at neteyam, not knowing wether to be mildly afraid at the sudden change in character for him, or to be happy that he’s so keen on defending you.

“Well, she didn’t, she’s fine.” Anoung replied, shoving off neteyam, who hissed at him in return, you wanted to laugh at how strange the boy you’d known since you were just a baby was acting. He was never so harsh, and he never got into conflict unless lo-ak started it. Was he really going this far for you?

Apparently, yes he was.

“Ill fucking kill you, you fish brained fu-“ neteyam puffed his chest out, curling up his fists and making the motion to run up and sock him in the face, again. Lo-ak, bring the chaotic instigator he is, was of course, cheering his brother on, neytiri hushed him.

This wasn’t good, they had clearly worked so hard to develop their relationship with these people, and you’d crushed it down in a few seconds. So, instead of letting things get worse and making the entire sully family get kicked out, you stood up from your spot, pulling your hand away from Tuk, and slowly walked to neteyam. You seperated the space between the two idiots, and eventually grabbed neteyams hand.

“Neteyam, Stop it. I’m fine.” He scowled at you, breathing heavily, barely able to contain his anger. But he still listened to you anyway, choosing to follow you away as you walked back to kiris hut. His hand found it’s way placed firmly on your shoulder on a protective stance, and he turned around one last time to meet anoungns gaze, smirking at the blood that left his nose and mouth, daring him to say anything. He didn’t.

“If anybody ever touches you again, I’ll shoot them. I love you too much to see you hurt” He squeezed your shoulder with a smile, sending death threats with such ease. You let out a short laugh, and let him walk you away, choosing to ignore how his “I love you” felt different all of a sudden.

“I probably won’t be taking you up on that offer.”

—-

*bonus*

“Someone’s got a boyfrieeendddd” kiri teased, wiggling her fingers at you and dragging out the word for way too long. This is how you were greeted when you walked into the hut. Tuk had been gossiping with her about it, and had filled her in completely.

“What?”

“Y/n and neteyam sittin in a tree k-i-s-s-i” tuk started, and kiri giggled at how red you automatically got at the mention of him. You didn’t know what to do, you couldn’t just leave because that would be even more embarrassing, but you also didn’t want to talk tot he. About it-

“Shut up- oh my god shut up- somebody will hear you”

“oHhHhHhHh somebody like neteyam?” Kiri kept going, practically yelling out the words for anybody who was even remotely close to hear. You covered your face with your hands in embarrassment and glared daggers at the two giggling toddlers.

“I will kill both of you right now.” Your threats only seemed to spark more enthusiasm from the both of them, and even though you tried your hardest to get them to shut up, nothing worked. They went through fit after fit of giggles, until eventually kiri paused from laughter.

“Ok ok fine- you just have to promise me one thing.” Sending one of her smiles to you, the one that makes you know

“…go on.”

“Promise that my brother won’t steal you from me forever. And I mean it- I want my designated hour a day-“ she joked, still very loud, still doing anything and everything to make you as embarrassed as she could.

“Jesus Christ. Yeah, I promise

Your brother won’t steal me forever”

———————————————————————-

Ngl I’ve been reading way too many father jake x daughter reader fics and it’s rotting my brain away. But if you want to request those I’m so down.

Anyways I completely misunderstood this as a neteyam x reader request and only saw it once I was finished. And there is no way I’m deleting an entire fic now. So I hope it’s good

Thanks for requesting anon! And thanks so much for reading my lovely readers!

[wynought]

to me it is evident that jonathan already knows that his situation is precarious at best and actively dangerous at worst. all the "he doesnt see the red flags" stuff that people used to say about him is utter nonsense.

he recognizes that drac is purposefully keeping him awake at night and, while he doesnt remark upon his suspicions, his wording and choice of details to include (e.g. drac going "you must be less interesting, so i don't keep you awake", which is more a reflection on drac being a bad host than on any fault of jonathan's) makes it clear that he understands that this is done on purpose and not by accident.

he keeps taking note of situations in which he would expect to see other people, but doesn't. he is aware that he is isolated and alone with a dangerous man (he took special care to highlight drac's unnatural strength and cold skin, the nauseating feeling he got upon being too close during that first supper, and he keeps taking note of any incident in which drac makes him feel uneasy - the nasty smiles, the way drac comes and goes without letting jonathan know when to expect him).

he is wants to be the model picture of an english gentleman guest, trying not to snoop and wander about the castle, when he doesn't have his host's permission. still, he can't help himself but try the doors, and the second door he tries is already locked (which is, of course, important in conjunction with the fact that drac tells him that he wouldnt wish to go anywhere that was behind a locked door, anyways). additionally, he notices that there are no mirrors, which he tries to frame as "oh, i am lacking one of the comforts i am used to, haha, sure weird that these transylvanian people don't have those", but it gives him pause - especially, considering the obvious wealth and opulence he is otherwise surrounded with.

to me this all reads as a continuation of that sentiment from may 4th where he already penned down that if he doesn't make it back himself, he hopes that his journal does (and that one of the last sentiments he wished to convey was his love for mina, i am still not okay about that). obviously, he isn't yet at the point where he wants to give shape to his fears by outright writing them down, but he is meticulously keeping track of all those red flags people joke about him missing. if he wasn't, he wouldn't be writing them down. their inclusion in his journal shows that jonathan knows what's going on (with the limited information he has, obviously), shows his wariness of his host, and shows that he isn't sure if he will safely return to mina.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Oooh idk if someone already asked for it but what about how TADC cast would react if they were under a mistletoe with their S/O

TADC cast x reader under the mistletoe!

i know i literally just said that i was going to post because i just came down from a little..... emotional high (negative) but i feel too guilty not answering stuff today so im probably going to answer this and a few more simply because im going to feel so guilty if i dont do anything today which is just going to make me feel worse than i already do so uhuhuhuhuh... jack stauber coming in clutch rn i know i usually answer stuff in the order of them being sent in but to do a silly compromise for my silly people pleaser mindset im going to knock out the ones that are easier for me sooooooo

CAINE:

oh you just know that hes the one who planted the mistletoe in the first place.... i mean as soon as he found out about the tradition, assuming he didnt already know.. i just know hes going to do whatever he can to get you under it. does he know that he can ask for a kiss? yes! but he wants to be festive and do some traditions and stuff! gives you the biggest "kiss" he can give you when you finally get stuck together under one... probably knocks you back a little bit from how enthusiastic he is...

POMNI:

very shy about it, i think she would give you a cheek kiss rather than a mouth kiss, especially if there are other people around. pomni doesnt strike me as the type to one to full on kiss their partner when theres an audience, so i hope you can understand her aversion! its not that she doesnt want to kiss you, shes just shy about the eyes watching the two of you... though, she would be more inclined to do it if it were just the two of you in the area!

RAGATHA:

honestly she looks like she would love christmas. i dont know why and i cant explain why. so i think she would love most of the activities and traditions surrounding it. and yes, this includes the mistletoe! i think for most of these, the mistletoe would be hung up by caine to really sell the festive mood.... and ragatha likely wouldnt have planned this, but inevitably you guys get under it at the same time. not as against PDA as some of the others, i think, so i think she would give you a very gentle kiss on your lips. very bashful if you beat her to it, though. kind of folds her hands together and digs her foot into the ground... you know the stance, hopefully.. kind of swaying a little while her face is burning up

JAX:

probably makes a big stink of it, whether trying to deny the kiss or to lean into it. i can honestly see both... does NOT let you be the one to initiate the kiss, since while he hates PDA, i think he hates it more when hes on the receiving end. say it all the time, its a vulnerability thing for him. he doesnt like other people seeing him flustered... now will a simple kiss from you make him pink in the face? probably not, but he would rather not risk it! plus, he wants to take this as a moment to tease you! will not let you live it down if you even get the slightest bit embarrassed from whatever hes going to do under that mistletoe

KINGER:

think i mentioned this in the kiss cam request, but kinger is not against giving you kisses when theres an audience. like he wont full on make out with you in front of others (ignoring the fact that he doesnt have a mouth, much less a functional one) but i am a firm believer that he and other characters with a nontraditional mouth just nuzzle into your face in place of kisses... hmm... probably make a big show of asking if he can go ahead, afterall hes royalty! whats a royal without chivalry! very gently presses where his mouth would be against your lips for a few seconds before walking you guys to where ever you were planning to go before someone stopped you and alerted you both of the mistletoe above. generally very sweet and dorky, i think

ZOOBLE:

does not like giving or receiving affection in public, the furthest they are willing to go is hand holding and simple name calling.... if no one is around when you guys are under the mistletoe, theyre more than willing to let you have your kiss, but if theres even one person around, theyre going to show a little aversion to it... on one hand i want to say that they might suck it up and lean into their "its whatever" attitude, but i dont feel... like that suits them, and on top of that whats the point if someone is clearly not having fun/not comfortable, you know? so theyre more likely to gently reject you... though i like to think that they make up for it by giving you a kiss behind closed doors!

GANGLE:

freezes like a deer in headlights when someone loudly announces that you guys stopped together under a mistletoe, the eyes of her mask going wide and her mouth just going straight... if she has her comedy mask, she might be a little less.. frozen, but not by much... but with her tragedy mask? nope, shes totally still and quiet, poor thing.... you almost feel bad, so really theres a chance you just take her away from the scene rather than kissing her.... doesnt like being put on the spot for things like that, especially if the person alerting you guys of the mistletoe is making a huge scene (either caine or jax... though with caine it would be more so lighthearted fun with no malice, whereas jax is just being jax)

[yikessmicah]

bloodweave

heres some bloodweave brainrot copy pasted directly from my priv twitter bc i was going insane at like 3am last night

// tw mention/brief discussion of astarion and gale's trauma, including sexual trauma. ill highlight it red so you can read the rest if youd like while avoiding the triggering part.

also obvious spoilers for part of astarion and gale's personal stories/quests.

AND DISCLAIMER this is my opinion and straight up brainrot u can ship whoever u want in bg3 idc <3

-----

sorry im having bloodweave brainrot because out of everyone in the camp i think gale Would be the objectively best match for astarion to be in a successful relationship with.

he wouldn't push him to do anything (tho i dont think any of the companions would, but ykwim) and since gale has his own form of relationship and sexual trauma (the fact mytsra groomed him since he was Literally a child and was only ever intimate with him on the astral plane therefore he's never had real physical human touch and intimacy) it would be overwhelming for him too!!

hed WANT to take it slow, he'd WANT to be as accomodating and like. he also has something on his body that represents his trauma the same way astarion does!! astarion has his scars and gale has the orb tattoo on his chest. i also think just. astarion's whole life as a spawn was only surrounded by people he Hated talking to. people who would spit insults and berate him, treat him like he was pathetic and disgusting - but gale? gale of waterdeep who never fucking shuts up?

gale of waterdeep who would gladly wake up and immediately shower him with compliments using words astarion had never even heard before? gale who would would describe astarion's features for him re: him not being able to see his reflection in such words and with such ease that eventually astarion starts to *like* the fact he doesnt have a reflection?

gale of waterdeep who would spend every waking moment of his day - that he wasnt spending talking to or being with astarion - working on a way to cure astarion of his vampirism or at Least a way for him to walk in the sun?

GALE OF WATERDEEP . who would gladly and without fucking question give up touching astarion ever again if he told him to?

gale of waterdeep who would answer every question astarion had? who would comfort his every dark thought?

gale of fucking waterdeep who would CARE for astarion so fucking well that he would genuinely start believing and KNOWING !!! he was worthy of love.

gale of FUCKING !! WATEDEEP !! who would vow to never shut up again if thats what helped astarion deal with the memories of sitting alone in a dungeon for months or YEARS at a time at the hands of cazador (not that that would be particularly hard with how me he talks already /pos).

gale who would gladly give up ever seeing the sun again and completely flipping his sleep schedule if it meant being able to walk the streets with astarion safely.

gale who would truly and wholly give nothing but his honest and real self. bare and beaten but NOT broken. show that astarion was the same. not broken. not something to be "fixed". simply something - SOMEONE - that needed to be guided a little. simply someone that needed safety.

gale of waterdeep who would do anything for his blood to taste sweet for astarion again. so he wouldnt have to fear where his next meal was going to come from. so astarion would never have to sink his teeth into a beast - let alone a sewer rat - ever again. never again would he let him have to hunt criminals in the night through the streets Alone. EVER AGAIN!!!

gale of waterdeep who would give up sleep to be by astarion's side as much as he could (since hes human and astarion is an elf). i just. he would do anything for him. Truly Anything.

gale of waterdeep who would wait weeks, months, YEARS - CENTURIES. if that's how much time it took for astarion to say i love you back. gale would say it 300 times a day and not once would it ring with the exigency of needing him to say it back.

gale....

[druidshollow]

yea exactly!!! thats what I was trying to say lol. both dune and rivers are capable of shitty things no matter what universe theyre in (and the shitty things are Very Different to des and flowers) whereas the worst thing des did was yell at flowers when he had fucking lied to her about fire, got mad at her etc etc which is like a perfectly fine fucking reaction to that infomation. like it wasnt even directly yelling anything at him it was just her being mad at what he did and her yelling what she woulda done different. and like. so swapping them over just feels really really fucked up because des was never ever the villan in any situation she was in, she tried her best and the universe fucked her up where both rivers and dune kinda made their own choices to do a very obvilusly fucked up thing and then suffered from it.

hi yes big agree on everything you said! but im gonna derail and talk about my thoughts surrounding

this part because when i started drawing the comic youre referring to i literally worried that shed come across irrational and people wouldnt understand why. because she really is acting pretty irrationally, the first thing she does when she sees him is yell at him. she demands the truth but doesnt elaborate whatsoever and continues to get mad and yell even as flowers expresses confusion on what she's talking about

now, flowers' first response to seeing her is to make passive aggressive comments, get angry, raise his voice (only after the door closes), and guilt trip.

i think the fact that language like this is the first thing to come out of his mouth implies that this is the normal way hed talk to her. in case anyone isnt clear on this, his language here is manipulative and harmful. almost every time talks in this comic, hes being abusive, even if its subtle. emotional abuse often involves wearing someone down and can be very insidious

after descent drops the "john i want a divorce" bomb, flowers loses his composure and i think he is responding much more emotionally and... genuinely, then he is beforehand when theyre discussing fire. anyways anyways im kinda losing my point

my POINT is that yes she yells and screams and freaks out at him but i hope it comes across that she is behaving that way because shes been being worn down and abused for nearly 30 (yes 30) years at this point and shes reached her breaking point with him. its not her natural state to be explosive and angry, shes been pushed to this point. really hope that reads

[ratatatastic]

can we pls discuss how the cats are all so horny for them getting Big and Strong and Fit and Buff. If we lived in A/B/O world the locker room and gym would be flooded with pheromones at all times

you my dear anon have truly opened yap-dora's box with this one do not get me started on this please PLEASE you know how nasty this team would go at it in an abo-verse? the pheromones would just be in a constant feedback loop if these boys weren't forced to put on blockers and use suppressants because its really the way they talk about each other and the way their affection shows

and i think just the past few days we've had so many anecdotes of paul talking about how much fitter the cats are, or players commenting on their own physique or other players talking about how much they noticed how big other players have gotten is sooooo

so allow me splurge about all the stuff these horny cats have done that live on in my brain in an abo context because yap-dora's box has been opened. dear god save us all.

the sc celebrations on and off ice: all the neck nuzzling, sashas penchant for grabbing people by the neck/head (ekky, lundy) or just ragdolling guys (forsy) about because who can say no to pack alpha? hes pack alpha! let him do whatever he wants to you! guide his hand to where you want it most (your neck)! absolutely melt that hes letting you touch his neck in return he trusts you that much! feel safe and warm with his hand on you! go limp! let him move you about! pack alpha gets whatever he wants!!

ekkys also specifically brought up monty grabbing the back of his head and rubbing his forehead on his so hard it actually hurt after winning the cup and its always lovely to see some good ole pack bonding that is the forehead nuzzle because sometimes an omega does need hard touch to keep them present

and speaking of ekky... ekky being ekky and grabbing the nearest warm neck to stick his nose into because this poor omega has toiled since game 4 and riddled with anxiety aplenty and hes de-stressing by surrounding himself with pack lest he breaks down and cries again (despite the fact he absolutely did cry on the ice) needs to be reminded hes safe now its all over hes allowed to be spoiled again and filled with the scents of all the people that he loves to soothe him

also all the club e11even shenanigans are truly unmatched sasha being very mmmmghghg with lundy, sasha being mmmdgfdghd with everyone (because pack leader of course has to re-scent everyone in a crowded club his scent gets washed out by all the sweat and people and likes his pack to smell like him :( and whilst hes not super territorial sober he does get more possessive when hes inebriated, listens more to his base instincts screaming at him that he can barely sniff out his pack and thats a no-no he likes his pack to be his), ekky clinging onto sasha (because omega is feeling loveydovey and displaying submissive behaviours to appeal to their pack leader)

but also specifically benny holding maffhew by the neck is always fun to remember because he wasnt super super touchy with anyone that night but maffhew is always an exception of course and wouldnt want to scruff this fun flirty omega? especially one you have so much storied history we love play behaviours we love tussling to re-establish pack dynamics

re: to also expand upon possessive pack leader sasha, sasha making the finns wear a shirsey with barkov city at the front of it during his cup day because that was a thing that very much still haunts me because now they each just have shirts with sashas and theirs name on it. which im sure sasha is very pleased about and thisll probably be the most possessive we'll see him get in a sober context and by god did my jaw drop

also my favourite examples of all this big talk is when mikksy gets brought up and theyre like oh hes soooooo strong hes mean (froths at the mouth at how he can push them around) sorry yall this is my guy i will be annoying about him specifically very much we have a fun new overseer to put us in our place! unfortunately the omegas on this team are very much just in constant preheat at this point like where do i even begin WHERE

also do i have to mention anything about forsy ever? do i have to? presented without comment! the graphic!

(added bonus of all the shit paul said about forsy these past days lmao)

and i just think this team is horny for each at all times and theres so many more examples and pack goes crazy theyre all fucking each other THE LOCKER ROOM REEKS

[hyperrealisticblood]

thoughts on banwally. i've never played any of garten of banban so you are my only reference for what happens in those games and consequently, what makes banwally a compelling crackship.

buddy..... you have opened a can of worms you could have never prepared for

when or if I started shipping it: i actually have an exact date, may 29th of last year. everyone in my friends server is really into crackshipping so we like to share random ideas with each other and i posted them as an idea on that date. i have never been the same since

my thoughts: crackships are kind of hard to talk about in this context because there isnt anything canon to go off but ill do my best. when welcome home first started gaining traction i saw a lot of people saying "this is what good mascot horror looks like" (whether or not wh even counts as mascot horror is. debatable.) so me associating banban and wally with each other was already a thing before i started shipping them. at some point i realized they both have a lot in common (monotone voices, often associated with devil imagery, passive most of the time but gets a little Silly with it sometimes) and i was like woah.... they should kiss. again a lot of my thoughts surrounding them are based in headcanon so im struggling to talk about them in a way that doesnt make me sound fucking insane BUT im a sucker for pessimist/optimist ships and they very much fit that to me. i think they balance each other out in a way, wally is a bright spot in the Endless Misery banban deals with on a daily basis, and banban is pretty logical and grounded which levels out wallys spacey-ness. theyre very much a jessica and roger rabbit "he makes me laugh" type of deal but with the fun addition of identity issues and whatever the fuck wallys deal is

what makes me happy about them: the fact that theyre both freaks of nature (banban is a weird clone manmade abomination thing, wally is either straight up an eldritch entity or a manmade puppet with eldritch qualities) is another thing they have in common to me, so i think theyd be accepting of each others weird traits because they know what its like. banban doesnt give a fuck that wally is up to some scp shit, he might as well live in the scp containment facility. theres a kingdom run by a giant kangaroo woman with a magic scepter who is in charge of keeping a bunch of baby demons and the father(?) of those baby demons trapped in her pouch or else the entire kingdom will be destroyed. he has seen weirder. banban wouldnt just love wally because hes handsome and hes nice to people, he loves all of his weird traits too because they arent even weird to him.

what makes me sad about them: they lend themselves pretty well to angst (i hate that word but idk a better one to describe this) because theyre both from horror media, and i like to pelt my favorite characters with hammers so >:) my friends and i (same friends who got me into crackshipping) have a group rp thing going on, and theres a mini arc going on right now based on the fact that banban got SUPER fucked up trying to fight sir dadadoo and his army. wally wants banban to leave the kindergarten because of how dangerous it is, he wants him to live in home where he doesnt need to fear for his life all the time. but despite all the horrors he has to put up with, banban doesnt want to leave everyone in the underground behind. theyre still his friends, and he wants to protect them. as much as wally wants him to be safe, he understands where hes coming from because he wouldnt want to leave his friends behind either. this leaves him feeling really conflicted and confused, and the homewarming update taught us that wally doesnt do well with those kinds of feelings. just some thoughts for yall <3

things done in fanfic that annoys me: nobody except me would wanna write fanfic about them and im too depressed slash lazy to actually write anything so. uh

things I look for in fanfic: see above

my kinks: size difference where the top is the smaller one i have no such things. i am a man of the lord.

who i’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: wallaby (wally/barnaby) is pretty epic so if that ends up being canon i wouldnt be mad lmao. ive also been wondering if wally might end up whoever "w" is (the awayfrompryingeyes.net mod) because clown said theres another ship that will be canon but that he cant talk about because its inherently a spoiler somehow, id be fine with that too. not much to say about banban because gobb doesnt do romance aside from whatever the fuck nabnab and nabnaleena have going on

my happily ever after for them: things finally calm down at the kindergarten to a point where banban feels comfortable leaving to be with wally, and whatever the hell is going on with home also calms down. banban would still visit the others obviously (i think he would introduce some of them to wallys friends, barnaby and bittergiggle would get along super well i think) but he can finally be somewhere where he isnt constantly fearing for his life :]

uhh tldr dont say "what if i shipped this" as a joke. it will become no longer a joke and you will write like a million words about two characters from entirely different media who have never met and never will meet. worst mistake of my life

[booblywooblies]

i fucking hate twitter man

so two of my irl friends are being targeted and harassed online, theyre some important players/figures in this gaming scene and recently the drama surrounding them has gone public (online) and fucking nuclear

the gist of it is that theyre dating, theres a significant age gap, and the younger one is turning 19 in a couple months. my husband is another important figure in this scene and had to ban a couple of shitheads that have been bothering the two of them for MONTHS at this point from his discord server and future events he helps host, they made response posts essentially calling the older friend a pedophile/groomer and yeah so he and them are dealing with the fallout of that now

so i wanted to address some of the comments my husbands response post is getting because its driving me fucking nuts, but i dont want to respond directly to the post because i dont want to deal with the piranhas

you cant come forward about anything in this community or youll get banned

the shitheads did not get banned for coming forward with their discomfort about this relationship, this has been being discussed for SIX MONTHS before the ban was decided. and the ban was decided on the basis that the two friends dont like being around the shitheads because they have been harassing them for that long and they make them uncomfortable. keep in mind this is a ban from a discord server and some game events, which they are not inherently entitled to. (also fun fact the discord was created because a few other trans women approached my husband and said his community is the only one that makes them feel safe and welcomed)

an age gap like that is inherently bad (and pedophilic) because it creates a power imbalance

i dont understand this one because heres some details about the relationship (that have been clearly laid out time and time again)

age can create a power imbalance but its usually due to secondary factors influenced by age, maturity, financial stability, fame, etc.

the younger one turned 18 several months before even MEETING the older one, no grooming could possibly have been involved

its an open/poly relationship, they both sleep around with other people all the time

neither is financially dependent on the other, the younger actually has a well paying job and supportive parents so she is not trapped in this relationship by any means

they have friends in real life like me and my husband to come to if anything bad ever happens

the 18 year old is 18 years old, which is where in australia we consider someone an adult. i think that although the law is not always a reflection of moral truth in this case its a perfectly fine line to draw (ive been 18 before and i can pretty reasonably say i did feel like i stopped being a child at that point). she can vote, drink, drive, own a house, go to war, why can she not have sex with other adults if thats what she wants to do. if shes not mentally mature enough to do that is she also not mature enough to do those other things? should we be stopping her from doing those things too since the law is irrelevant?

would YOU date an 18 year old?

no, probably not. but why does my preference have to affect the lives of other people? i wouldnt date a woman either but does that mean people who date women are always bad? you dont even have to be comfortable with their relationship, you can look at them and go "that makes me feel icky" but you have to realize something, ITS NOT YOUR BUSINESS

you can raise your concerns, the shitheads did and the organizers, the older person, and the younger person all heard them out, they all talked about this multiple times. everyones feelings have been made clear, the situation has been made clear, repeatedly. its not your job to break up adult relationships you think are bad, even if youre their friend and youre trying to help them (which theyre not, this has only ever been about their feelings but thats beside the point)

on several occasions my husband has said "im keeping an eye on them, and i have told them im here for either of them if something goes wrong" to these shitheads.

idk personally i think thats enough, i think thats probably all hes capable of doing besides holding an intervention but the thing about this is we are saying all this with the younger persons feelings 100% prioritized. we want her to feel safe above all else, and it turns out if you dont respect her agency as an adult it doesnt make her feel safe around you.

its not transmisogyny to call her out, if [older person] were a cis man it would be obvious how bad this is

shes not a cis man though, cis men have more social power than she does. both the people involved in this relationship are trans women, obviously trans women are capable of harm and abuse just as any other type of person on the planet but that doesnt mean she IS doing harm. and in fact i honestly feel like if she were a cis man thered be less people going after her, shes an acceptable target, shes an easy target, because shes a vulnerable type of person who has a LOT to lose in this situation.

theres a massive transmisogyny aspect to this situation that a lot of people, including other transfems are trying very hard to act like they dont see. many people are calling this woman a PEDOPHILE for engaging in a relationship with an ADULT WOMAN, seeking to ostracize her from her community and her friends and leave her with nothing. what is the end conclusion to that? dont you think that could be potentially dangerous for her?

this sets precedent for future abusers to pull the trans card and get away with it

even if this were a large community that affected other communities (we are talking about a 30ish people discord server) IT CLEARLY ISNT WORKING??? shes been banned from ALL the major gaming events in the country, for dating AN ADULT WOMAN. if anything this sets a precedent that you can get rid of and endanger the life of any trans woman you dont like by saying ANYTHING about them, even if it is factually, provably, with real life evidence, incorrect.

like ive seen multiple people already misgender and deadname her and its like, isnt it funny that the people who hate trans people on purpose are on your side??? wonder why that could be.

well im a minor and i think-

no you dont! go away you little hypocrite! if you think an 18 year old cant make decisions for herself how do you POSSIBLY think youre able to make decisions FOR HER, get the fuck out of this conversation!

[turtle-sister-april]

erm hello

trigger warning for panic attacks, masking and homophobia

short or long rant ahead with probably bad grammar sorry 😭

so like im a lesbian, and my two friends irl know, but most of the kids at my school are quite strongly against it because its a catholic school and where i live a lot of people hate it

but anyways i have these two current friends and dont get me wrong they are really good friends, but they dont accept the lgbtq+ community. they just accept me because im their friend which makes me "different" (apparently?)

but at the same time they still make homophobic remarks around me and while i dont really mind, it still makes me think "if you knew i was lesbian when you met me, would you still like me?"

plus, im masking pretty much 100% of the time at home and at school, so im always ignoring overstimulation to a point where i have panic attacks so bad to the point where i throw up, my friends are the only ones who know about my sexuality and the only irl friend i have that i can unmask around moved 5 hours away at the start of this year so

it wouldnt bother me so much but i know for a fact that if i said "can you not make that joke it makes me upset" i would just get told that im not special because im gay and i know that- but its almost like im the third wheeler all of the time and its always because im either too quiet, too nice or simply "the gay one"

and im also the therapist friend all of the time, even one of my friends has nicknamed me their emotional support animal lmfao 😭

it just feels weird that the only people who i will ever come first to or not seem "different" to will be online because dont get me wrong i have an amazing online sister who i can kind of be myself around but im her therapist too and there is literally no room for me and whats going on in my life

sorry for venting here you dont have to answer this if you dont want to i just needed to get this off of my chest somewhere other than my notes 😭

have a nice day or night <3

I'm so sorry for answering this late, I'm only now just seeing it, but that's no excuse for not seeing and answering this sooner. Ok, first things first you need this

If you are touch averse then don't worry this is still just a virtual hug.

But you don't need to apologize for venting here, this is a safe space where you can be yourself and you are always welcome to come here for emotional support, just to talk, or even if you just need a distraction.

I'm so sorry you have to go through this and that you are surrounded by such homophobia. It's unfortunate that there are people that are still so unaccepting, but if it helps I can understand where you're coming from.

Having 4 brothers I have to keep a secret from the world is difficult sometimes. It was especially difficult when I was still living with my folks since I still need to tell them about the guys. They know I have 4 homeschooled friends that I love like brothers but they never met them (I still need to figure out how to set up that meeting at some point). And normally Raph takes care of the others but he doesn't have someone to take care of him so I normally do it (and since I hang out with Donnie a lot I'm usually more readily available to help him). But that's all just a long way of saying I understand where you are coming from, it can be hard, just don't forget that you matter too.

It's ok to feel the way you do and it's ok to be a little selfish sometimes, its all a part of living. But never forget that what you need and want matters. Otherwise, how else can you expect to help others if you are a mess of emotions yourself?

I hope this helps you and anyone else reading this feel better in anyway but if it doesn't then at least thank you for reading this far. Have a lovely day or night wherever you are and enjoy this adorable gif of cats.

[lmelodie]

Hey! It me! Jumpin’ into your asks here to enquire about Kills and Mera’s friendship?! I just really enjoy their dynamic and wanna know more about it! How they came to be friends, what they like to do together, how long they’ve known each other, whether they’ve shared any particularly fun shenanigans/adventures together; that sort of thing! ☺️☺️🥰

OH BOY! This has unlocked something! Something that I will get to at the end of the post here but let me just pop off for a second.

She is one of the very few people in Killian's circle that he will defend with his life. And as such she is allowed the gracious honor of seeing past the persona and knowing that he is actually vulnerable way deep down in his cold dead heart.

And that's why she is the guard dog for the guard dog. They look out for each other. Emotionally that is.

Because they certainly DO NOT need each other's help roughing people up. Just two absolutely FERAL bitches roaming these streets. They WILL tear you apart with their teeth and they will enjoy the way the way you scream :)

Chimera knows a fair amount of Greek! And has tried teaching it to Kills a few times, but I think two languages is all he can handle, as it gets mixed up with the Romanian floating around in there.

Chimera: "He is only a simple creature 😔"

Kills will pop in every now and again to one of her Burlesque performances. She really likes this particular side hobby, so she appreciates when he stops by. Ya know, just lurking at a darkened corner booth, making uncomfortable eye contact. A presence of reassurance if there ever was one 🤗

That also means that he gets to run up her discounted tab while he's there.

She is on pretty good terms with his family! As mentioned in Chance and Choice when Luce runs into her and Vic in the bypass. She occasionally babysits if no one else is available. Hard to do considering how closely knit the community is but sometimes it will happen.

(I also have a little WIP idea of them going on an adventure where Mera helps Vic come out of their shell a little.)

They have the same taste in interior decor considering that Chimera also lives in a cave lol

but with high ceilings, lots of plants and it looks out onto the Grecian mountainside. And she actually has like cute furniture and stuff. And a huge pool of boiling acid

Hardwood floors? Nah! We like to be surrounded by cold hard ROCK on all sides. Cozier that way :)

They also have a running gag between them where they legally CANNOT be each other's alibies. Anytime they try and play the "I was with Kills/Chimera" schtick the other will always vehemently deny it and just make life more difficult. It ticks both of them off but they cant stop doing it.

In essence, they talk shit, they drink, they smoke, they go to underground cage matches to watch people fight to the death. They engage in all kinds of debauchery and they wouldnt have it any other way.

Now this ask has also reminded me that I do in fact have a Kills and Chimera origin story in the drafts! For the series of Epilogue Stories that are still in the planning stages.

It is in ROUGH shape, I gotta iron out a lot of shit and maybe change the majority of the POV to something else. But it is there! So let me tell you about that.

Their first meeting was out of very bad circumstances because the first month or so of Chimeras life was very hard and tumultuous. A lot of fending for oneself in the elements and getting dragged into the Black Markets bullshit system. But luckily Kills was there out of pure curiosity and ended up saving her from a life of servitude.

So here is a little 500-word snippet of the rough cut for ya on the way out! Thank you for giving me the chance to talk about the Homeless man + Stripper combo.

And that was when some of the dingy lights started breaking and going out. Only a few left intact after every other one went out in a puff of sparks. It got colder too, and like there was suddenly someone else there besides her and the gang members. Something that you couldn't see, but you could feel. Watching from somewhere you also couldn't see. 

The shadows in the room got darker. And that's when the little hooded goblin, the high buyer transformed. Revealed to be a man in long rust colored hair and dark robes.. Except he wasn't there to make good on his purchase.

The gang members that populated the warehouse froze at the intrusion. The trick was played on them by the Boogeyman himself. No one tried to move, lest they be the first item on his innocuous list. They didn't know what he could be here for, hell he could even still be trying to buy the spirit, but that's just the thing. With him? You could never know for sure.

“You people are disgusting,” he said through the dark hood. “I mean really, I'm used to how goblins tend to be, but this?” he says knocking on the metal cage, “this is just a new level. This is a person. You can't sell people, that's called, slavery.”

“What’s it matter to you?” the gang leader said, “You're the one who staked a claim to it and you're telling me you're here to play cop on us?”

“So you're insane and you insult me. Bold combination,” Killian said, putting his hands behind his back and slowly pacing to the front of the cage, “and it's my business because I say it's my business. What good is a poisons dealer if they’re chained to a single clientele their whole life? Now where's the fun in that?”

“We don't take threats lightly around here and you know it. It doesn't matter what you're here for, because you're gonna pay up the 200k or my boys will cut you up so bad it’ll look like you've been put through a cheese grater!”

The thirty odd some other gang members rallied in their bosses demand, brandishing their various bladed weapons and readying themselves to strike when given the word.

“Really?” He said, “I think you're the ones that’ll get cut up more than me, considering that I know someone in need of a scratching post.”

And with one swift kick to the rusted locking mechanism on the cage, the door opened from the top and crashed onto the ground, setting her free. 

“And that time, I was ready to take them on. Apparently Killian had discretely sealed all the entrances, which made it easier for me to leave that warehouse much bloodier than when I arrived,” Chimera crooned.

She tells this last bit as though she's retelling a fond or even remotely happy memory.

“Jesus christ…” was all Lucy was able to mumble in response to such a tale.

[airic-fenn]

Only If You Think I Am.

Sometimes I remember the temp employee at my old high school job who offered to buy me lunch since I forgot my wallet, and then asked immediately after we sat down if I was mixed. I mean, he was right, but it was a very uncomfortable first question to be asked by a complete stranger.

But it was also one of the many instances that gets me thinking about how weird it is to be mixed race and also racially ambiguous.

Whether or not I’m perceived as a person of color depends entirely upon who is doing the perceiving, and even when and where in the world they’re doing it. Am I in the southern US, or Colorado? Am I in Europe? Is it summertime and I’ve developed a tan, or is it the dead of winter?

Some people dont bat an eye, other people look at me curiously, knowing I am something but they’re just not quite sure what.

One curious man jumped to the proud assumption I must be Turkish, instead of letting me finish explaining that my mom was only born there because her dad was stationed there once.

In France at New Years, my penpal’s friend made a joke about slavery, then laughed and assumed that if I was offended, its because I’m White.

And all of my experiences like these leave me wondering, where do I put myself?

A friend once admitted to me that in middle school when we were covering slavery in class, he had watched me closely to see my reactions to it, because at the time I was just about the most diverse that school got.

The funny part is back then I was barely aware of being mixed race, other than that my Opa is Black. I was just me, and that was just how my family was.

I didn’t really have Black friends growing up (re: very un-diverse schools and neighborhood). Though, my mom would tell stories about how as a kid, she’d get teased and called an “oreo cookie” and blatant questions from her cousins like “what are you?” She’d mention how she would code switch with them, and try to act extra Black with them because otherwise she wasnt Black enough.

But she didn’t talk about race, or how any of it might apply to me. She stuck with the facts: I was mixed. And that was it.

And so I grew up with little understanding of what that meant until I reached high school. I was sheltered, oblivious, surrounded almost entirely by Whiteness and barely aware that people might, sometimes, treat me differently.

That temp worker back at that job of mine was the first time I had considered that people might.

But because I am caught in this limbo, I will never know for sure. Unless they say it out loud, I am left to wonder whether someone is just being angry and rude, or if they’re pulling a racism.

Generally, I give the benefit of the doubt. And why shouldn’t I, when I often barely know for sure how to perceive myself? I’m just me.

Race feels like a concept thrust upon me. Am I

☑️ White/Caucasian?

Or

☑️ Black/African American?

If I’m given the option, I’ll fill in “Other.” But I’m rarely given the option to fill in both.

The problem with being asked to respond with one or the other is that singularly neither feels right. I’d be lying.

I know a lot of mixed folks identify with being Black. I’m not sure I can no, I’m not sure I’m allowed to, even if I probably, maybe could. Because I get caught up in my own questions and fears of “am I Black enough?”

“What even makes someone Black?”

“Sure, the color of your skin, but its also a culture, its experiences.”

“But isnt it reductive to reduce a person’s identity down to whether they’ve been marginalized?”

“Even if I identified as Black, wouldnt that be perpetuating old racist concepts like the one drop rule?” (And if I think long and hard enough about that, I inevitably fall down the rabbit hole and start thinking about how if I couldn’t or wouldn’t consider myself indigenous despite my great-grandmother, why is it acceptable to identify as Black? Even though, technically, I understand the messed up history of why of both).

I’m never able to answer these questions.

But at the same time, identifying as White would feel like I’m rejecting an entire side of myself. Like I’m trying to hide my Opa.

So, I make myself stop thinking about it for a while, and settle back down on just being “mixed.” Its an answer no one can deny, or tell me that I’m wrong.

And as a result, I find myself approaching prying questions or opportunities reserved for BIPOC folks with varying levels of confidence.

“Do you identify as Black, Indigenous, or other Person of Color?”

Yes. Sometimes. Maybe?

Only if you think I am.

[james-fun-in-the-sunderland]

3, 17, 22, 23, 30, 34, 48. for the sampson. the sample .

the samosa.... yayyy yayy thank u zee for giving me qs ^-^ ❤

obligatory link back to the aske game !

3. Do they enjoy cooking?

I dont think so ! though he CAN cook and do it pretty well, he usually left it to his wife and never liked doing it. after all it takes alot of set up and time and its a MESS.... so in current times he like 90% of the time gets pizza or microwaves smth...... or bums some food off of his job/callahan >:)

17. How easily would they be convinced to do something that goes against their morals?

i instantly wanted to say EXTREMELY easilly but it would honestly depend? yea thats rite hes not THAT shitty of a guy.. he mostly suffers from the bystander effect and is ... selfish... plus has an extreme fear of death so put him on the spot and he would do anything to keep himself from getting killed even if that meant hurting someone else. BUT i think he wouldnt be AS selfish if his wife, kid, or someone else he loved was involved... then he would be more considerate... but otherwise? no morals, just keeping himself safe

(the rest r under the read more ^-^ )

22. Would they ever betray someone for money?

not really... while i do think hes selfish i dont think he would do something that extreme for something as non important as money, i think that also what helps him to ... not really care to do such a thang for money is that he can just . like . scam people or something... like he has a ton of money saved up AND this man 100% would install a bitcoin miner on someones pc if left alone with it.... like he doesnt see money as more important than someones life... or something equally as important to him

23. How would they want to die?

ohhh interesting q .... see my easy answer is he just shrimply would not want to <3 but if he were like forced to have to think about it... i think he would want to die surrounded by friends... not alone... it doesnt really matter how at that point, whether its painful or not, he just would want at least one other person there with him

30. If they had the chance to be famous would they take it? If they are famous would they rather they weren't?

i think he would like to be like... bill gates famous... not like star famous tho, like famous where everyone knows ur name and u get the benefits from that but not so famous that u have paparazzi at ur house and everyone is always trying to talk to u bc they know u from tv and everything... he doesnt want things to get out of control or for his safety and privacy to be threatened!

34. How well do they deal with grief?

he doesnt <3 i feel like ive said this about another character but its Different. i think i said it about vicky maybe? which in that case they are different 4 reals... bc vicky like actively pushes his grief away or just like is able to give in to self destruction, meanwhile samson tries to run away from his grief or replace it with things he likes... hes NOT a self destructive guy! he may not take care of himself AS WELL but thats only with things that are more inconvenient and dont make him feel good! which is his like .. 1st priority... he also tries to cheer up others if theyre going thru smth rather than allow them to like fully feel their emotions, u kno? which works for people who are like him but probably is like ... dude -_- for other people

48. How likely are they to go on a quest for revenge?

not very likely... unless he knows 100% that it would mean something then hes not one to just run off and get himself hurt for no reason. mostly if someone Gets him to where a person would want revenge then he would just like... not.. SEE that is unless it was like ... something petty like he would absolutely go on a silly crusade of pranks against someone else who pranked him, THATS easy and in fact the petty-er the better for samson

[falsementor]

LITTLE MUSE FACTS.

Instructions: fill out the questions about your muse, repost, and tag as many people as you want!

1) What does your muse smell like?:

i've touched on this already actually!! here's the more in depth answer if you're curious, but tldr; macaque's scent is like incense - the smell of lilies, old fabric, and burning smoke follows him wherever he goes.

2) How often does your muse bathe/shower?:

often enough! but he doesn't have access to like. luxury things such as running hot water (homeless moment but also still lowkey kind of a wild animal moment) so he usually just bathes in rivers and springs (hot springs if he's lucky!), and uses either scentless soap or herbs he managed to gather that can work like soap. he knows how to live off the land, so!

3) Does your muse have any tattoos or piercings?:

nope! and i don't think macaque has really considered getting any. he's kinda covered in fur so a tattoo wouldnt show up well. piercings, on the other hand... maybe. i think it's something he'd have to be talked into doing... maybe an ear piercing on one ear could be a look. but he doesn't like his ears being touched, so hm.

4) Any body movement quirks? (EX: tapping heel, shaking knee)

the big one is his trade mark Dramatic Bitch stance where he folds his hands behind his back. he does it constantly, lmao. his tail also lashes back and forth when he gets excited or angry (or both) - man's unhinged and his mannerisms show it.

5) What do they sleep in?:

depends on what points in his life, because what he'd sleep in would depend on what era it is and also what's going on in his life. in the past before his falling out with swk, he probably slept in robes of some sort, i'd imagine. but after that - he was on the run all the time, so he rarely had the time to rest - let alone change into something comfortable. i think THESE days, however, with lady bone demon gone, he can... indulge a little bit more now. probably just strips down to his pants and shirt.

6) What’s their favorite piece of clothing?:

the cloak! it's fabric is sturdy and heavy, and has kept him safe and warm all these years, so yea :] has a bit of a sentimental attachment to it.

7) What do they do when they wake up?:

i think macaque is the type to wake with a start, and scan his surroundings. he's... yea. the trauma. it'll take him some time to be able to wake peacefully. but after that initial panic, i think it depends. sometimes, he'll just lay there and disassociate for a while. eventually, he'll get up, stretch, and go start his day.

8) How do they sleep? Position?:  

he sleeps light, and on his back, with his arms crossed behind his head. sometimes he'll have a knee pulled up, too.

he can't sleep in any other position.

9) What do their hands feel like?:

calloused, and strong.. but also warm. the tips of his fingers end with sharp claws. the years of combat have hardened them over time.

but his fur is still downy and soft, at least.

tagged by: @omniversentertwined

tagging: @hismentor @newdleboy @samadhifire @stcries @fatedefyd @abitangy @megapolismayor @lunarspeared