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xiexiecaptain · 2 years

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Shadow & Bone rewatch deep dive commentary that was started on twitter and is being moved/continued here!

This is the post for EP 04: Otkazats’ya

[Episode 01 post] [Rewatch Commentary Links Masterpost]

((There WILL be spoilers mentioned for the books in the Grishaverse including the Crows duology & King of Scars duology! This is basically from the perspective of watching the show as someone who knows the books well.))

(Just a disclaimer that I’m picking up doing these commentary posts from here after season 2 is out! Just fyi, I might mention s2 stuff in these where it wasn’t mentioned in the posts for eps 1-3)

Omg not the captain singing the drinking song Nina sang to Inej in the hold of the ship on the way to Fjerda

I love how they just toss in background book details in new places to color in the world! You can tell everyone working on constructing this show was such a massive fan of the books and it warms my heart

As always, I’m just enamored by the linguistics and writing systems the show has designed and fleshed out for all the languages!! They make the world feel so lived-in!

Poor Mal. He really feels so powerless and helpless; even to people who are super devoted, sheer faith and longing can’t keep people going forever.

Boy is living on crumbs atm

Mean Girls (2004) voice: AND NONE FOR MAL ORETSEV BYE

These two are so pure i can’t get over it.

Thank you for giving Mal close relationships (even if they eat it soon) other than Alina!

NOT GENYA CALLING HER SUNSHINE-!!!

😭 😭 😭

YEAH ITS CUS HE WANTS TO FEEL OWNERSHIP OVER YOU ALINA

Yep yep giving her crumbs of vulnerability to draw her in.

Top tier manipulator shit.

Jesper’s hair and expression here I’m fucking laughing so hard

He looks like he just woke up from a week-long bender omfg.

Jesper, honey, I’m begging you, drink some water along with whatever alcoholic beverage is in that glass

LOVE LOVE LOVE how they find ways to weave the Crows’ plotlines into the S&B book plot.

Using the Winter Fete party as distraction was probably drawn from them using Hringkälla for the Ice Court job. But I suppose in the show it’s gonna be the other way around now which is funny. They’re probably gonna be like “Well, remember how we snuck into the Little Palace in Ravka because of their big celebration? Let’s do that with this job too!”

Very Beethoven/Bootstrap Paradox meta shit here and it makes me laugh

Kaz Brekker has never taken a day off in his entire life and it shows

LOOK HOW EXCITED THEY ARE

Even Inej is trying not to burst out grinning

Same you guys

I always get hyped as fuck for a heist!

You’ve heard of Chekov’s gun, but we’ve finally found Chekov’s bullet

The fucking barmaid’s face

I can’t

“Who is this strange Zemeni dude and why did he dump a goat in my arms and start speaking softly and mournfully to it in Kerch???”

Not him blowing Milo a kiss

I LOVE JESPER FAHEY AND HIS DRAMATIC BISEXUAL ASS

LYING THROUGH HIS GD TEETH AGAIN

Spinning his fake little sob stories

Manipulator 👏 Shit 👏

I do appreciate this way of trying to make exposition about the Black Heretic story more active

And making the scene serve several purposes at once (Kirigan trying to draw Alina in with his ~relatable outcast~ stuff, as well as giving the viewers the backstory)

Again, I’m just glad these three got to be on-screen. It gives Mal other people around him that matter. (Which does then help fuel/motivate his devotion to Alina as we go forward.)

That was really also one of the things that bugged me about book!Mal (Although, to be fair, it might be less of a writing issue than a personal one) but it sticks in my craw when characters are single-person focused. (Unless that’s, like, part of their character shit to figure out, them feeling lonely or co-dependent, etc.)

Like I do understand it’s kind of been “Mal and Alina against the world” since they were young. But they haven’t always been together since they joined the military. Having relationships that span back for a long, long time can be powerful, don’t get me wrong. But length of a relationship isn’t the only measure of its importance.

I think part of it was that we only got Alina’s POV and so Mal in some parts of the series felt very one-note, unmotivated, unbelievable, etc. Because all we got was what he managed to say to Alina when he was actually present and interacting with Alina (which didn’t happen for a large part of books 1 and 3.)

The lesbian skepticism on Nadia’s face-!!!

I will never, in my life, get over Freddy’s acting as Kaz acting as a stuffy fancy ~artíst~

CLEVER CLEVER CLEVER CLEVER

I LOVE THEM I LOVE THEM

Ok so remember when this was the first sneak-peek scene they released of the Crows and we got to see them in action together for the first time??

It reminded me of my thoughts about Freddy’s voice as Kaz.

At first I was like “oh, hmm, he’s got kind of a higher, smooth voice as opposed to the way Kaz’s voice is described in the books” which is that rough gravely “rock-salt rasp.”

But as an iteration of Kaz (pluralism is my friend, you guys) Freddy’s voice for him is something I actually super love?

Like it’s a different sort of menacing. It can feel icy, if that makes sense. Like the higher register lends itself to his voice sounding cold, and the smoothness comes across as that kind of menacing sort of calmness. I dunno I just dig it.

I know we talk a lot about Inej’s knives (for good reason)

But dear saints I love Inej being invisible soundless sneaky.

I know she’d dislike me saying it, but honestly, she’s goddess material. This woman deserves to be lauded and honored at every opportunity.

What’s that meme again? “My idea of help from above is a sniper on the roof?”

Also, him waiting for the clock to chime to disguise the gunshot-!!!

Clawing my face off because I love my clever clever little thieves so much

[“Oh, and Inej,” he said as he led her out of the salon, “don’t ever sneak up on me again.”

The truth was she’d tried to sneak up on Kaz plenty of time since then. She’d never managed it. It was as if once Kaz had seen her, he’d understood how to keep seeing her.”]

Ok so we all agree that Kaz 100% did the same thing as with the magician he saw as a kid, right? Where he was obsessed with figuring out how the trick worked and unraveling it so he could learn to see what was actually happening?

Like [“Some people see a magic trick and say, “Impossible!” [...] And then there are the ones who stay awake, running through the trick again and again, looking for that skip in perception, the crack in the illusion that will explain how their eyes got duped; they’re the kind who won’t rest until they’ve mastered that little bit of mystery for themselves. I’m that kind.”]

INEJ WAS A PUZZLE HE THOUGHT ABOUT OVER AND OVER UNTIL HE FIGURED IT OUT

Oh, yknow, just reviewing stolen high-security floorplans in a public bar. As one does.

Lmao so basically my entire family hunts (northern woodlands, man) and I’m relatively sure my grandma has something that looks pretty much exactly like this

every friend group has someone like this in it

(in my experience said friend is usually a transmasc gremlin type)

fucking Mal just Very Seriously doing his Very Serious tracking while these two chucklefucks discuss selling literal shit in the background

knowing our beloved nina, the amount of sheer willpower she’s dredging up to refuse food is seriously impressive

she aint wrong, matty boy

ok so this is actually super interesting?? Because it speaks to Matthias having subtle curiosities/doubts about grisha and not fully understanding why someone would become grisha since he believes (read: was told) they weren’t just born that way.

In the books we never got to see Matthias speak to Nina alone until the shipwreck, there was always either other drüskelle and/or the other grisha captives on the ship (I mean there are other captives tied up here but they aren’t all shoved into a cage together so Nina and Matthias can have their own conversation)

I really like this little peek into Matthias trying to make sense of the indoctrination he was fed

yeah exactly, he’s trying to assuage his doubts about how “human” feeling Nina is because it’s gnawing at the indoctrination of dehumanization he’s been taught

Also, i love the camera work in this scene -- the lights are all hazy with lots of lens-flares and the shots are so so tight and close!

We’re putting two characters whose circumstances of birth and country and beliefs are so diametrically opposed together. But here they’re having a brief moment of connection where they each have a glimpse of each other’s humanity (in between all the vitriol.)

By cutting in close and having the rest of the “world” feel “out of focus” or “out of shot” it’s allowing this moment to feel like they can be two people for a brief moment rather than grisha and drüskelle. I adore it.

Yeah, see and then when they start talking politics about the Darkling, more of the shots have the camera pulling back a bit, because the “world” outside the two of them is shoving distance back between them

(Obv this is not an exact one-to-one this mapping of shots, but the scene in general does that and its really cool)

And then it pushes back in and gets more hazy again when Matthias has a moment of decency and offers Nina the bread without strings attached

mwuah! chef kiss!

ofc then it falls apart because these two are the most stubborn (affectionate, exasperated) people on the entire planet who can’t EXIST without taking petty jibes at each other

Just taking a moment to appreciate Calahan Skogman because he plays Matthias so incredibly well

I’m hoping so damn hard we get to see the Ice Court job adapted so we can see Matthias get let out of detention so he can go run and play with the other kids at recess

These are the faces of two exhausted parents at the end of a frustrating day with their excitable son and I’m living for it

LISTEN YOU TWO

AT LEAST JESPER IS COMING UP WITH IDEAS, STOP GLARING

Ok but this troupe leader, Marko, actually comes off as such a wholesome guy? I lowkey love his face??

Look how tear-stained and puff from crying it is?! This poor guy finally got to perform for royalty and thought his lifelong dreams had just been crushed and was sobbing into a mug of beer!

Inej entrusting Kaz with her knives DOES something to me, you guys

There is a fucking novel of unspoken words in these expressions I’m gonna gnaw my couch cushions in to piecessss-!

He’s so cute you guys I hope he still has a long and fruitful career even after all the fuckery that goes down at the Winter Fete

This whole scene has me gazing in adoration like a doting parent

Me to the person next to me, pointing, with a camcorder in my hand: Those are my kids!!! God, they’re so talented, I’m so proud of them!!

The fact that they made up entirely new playing card suits for this world-!!!

Honestly so much of what makes this world come to life in the show is thanks to how much AMAZING work the props and set people did???

They obviously loved and cared about the grishaverse so much, you can see in the sets and the costumes and the props how much work was put into making this world come to life and feel like a world that really exists with all its little bits and bobs and details!

That kind of worldbuilding minutia stuff just makes my brain go brrrrrr

Also I haven’t mentioned anything about the soundtrack yet but hot damn they’ve done so much to make it atmospheric but also do the A+ soundtrack thing of weaving musical themes for characters/groups

Ok tho Kaz 10000% could have gotten in as a performer too. Man’s got mad slight-of-hand skills he could definitely go in as a stage magician

It’s time for 🎶✨~Alina’s Emotional Mushroom Trip~ 🎶✨

Of course she was!

I feel like its super obvious that two orphan kids who’ve been through trauma and made a close connection would crave the stability of the life they have with a beloved friend, especially over an unknown where they would be alone and in a new place again having to start over???

I mean, she says she was thinking of Mal and not herself, but it’s both. Because him being alone would mean she would also be alone.

Alina was a scared little kid who had lost everything and was doing what she thought would keep everything she knew from being ripped away again.

I feel like in the books the dynamic of Darklina in the first book, it was obvious/deliberate that Alina felt very isolated at the Little Palace and so was kind of always steered back to the Darkling for scraps of affirmations or reassurances, plus the draw of their powers compounding this manipulation net the Darkling pulled her in by.

The dynamic feels different in the show, for a few reasons. I think Alina being aged up contributes to that. Also, we don’t get Alina’s interiority and descriptions of how her/the Darkling’s powers feel and pull her.

(Also Jessie and Ben have Very Good on-screen chemistry. And Ben Barnes is, well, Ben Barnes so the attraction-angle of the pull toward him is very believable.)

I mean, while Alina is aged up, she’s still a young woman. Her whole life she has overwhelmingly felt less than, invisible, and nothing special. And someone powerful is now telling her she’s unique and powerful and he’s the only one who understands her.

While Alina is still obviously manipulated heavily in the show, it feels less extreme? I don’t know how to word it?

Other contributing factors I think are her actually making closer friends at the Little Palace and that in the show we don’t see that extended period of time of her struggling and struggling and feeling like shit and powerless and “Other”-ed again. Also because we are shown that Mal DOES super care about her, rather than only getting her speculating and worrying.

And not only on Alina’s end is it different but I feel like the show we get shown more of Kirigan feeling helpless (something which is both authentic and strategic.)

Like I think its definitely real that he is struggling with these feelings of helplessness and futility in moving towards his goals.

But he is very deliberate in the ways he goes about showing it to Alina to make her feel like he’s letting his guard down with her and to garner sympathy with. As Baghra says towards the end of the season, giving Alina “a glimpse of the wounded boy.”

And it’s a huge credit to Ben Barnes that I feel that simultaneous nature.

Like in the moment, you do believe him in his pain and his loneliness. Because that is real.

But then you step back and realize he’s only showing it and showing it in such a way to weaponize it to cultivate those feelings of sympathy in Alina and keep her from seeing him as dangerous to her.

Ben Barnes’s performance really sells the Darkling so well. Because these things are all true: he has seen people die and is lonely and feels like he has to claw his way toward any change he can achieve.

But he is also playing bits of that up in very strategic ways in Alina’s presence to manipulate her.

(I always feel like I’m not gonna have more to say about the Darkling and then I end up writing a novel about it??)

”B-b-but-

Wait, was I the only one who believed we were actually giving them a fair trial?!?”

My parents’ walks to school, according to them.

Listen, I just love them

I LOVE THEM PUTTING TIME AND THOUGHT INTO SPRINKLING IN WORLDBUILDING

END ME

Listen all I can think about when I watch this scene is how this actor probably spent 9 hours in hair and makeup and wardrobe just to stand there, grab a stack of letters, shake his head, and walk away because he was a non-speaking extra and if he said “No” out loud they would have had to pay him the under-5-lines rate

Get that shit outta here, Baghra, we celebrate interdependence in this household!!

Also, the entirety of season 2’s themes would also like a word with you 👀👀

Ok not to sound like my northern midwestern mother but

CHILD DO NOT GO OUT IN THE COLD! AND SNOW! AT NIGHT! WITHOUT A FUCKING HAT ON?

You’re gonna get frostbite, Mal!!

It is AT LEAST below 10°F with how crunchy that snow sounds!!

Honestly, good for Alina. proud of her

This is funny to me because I know Jessie had a habit of just napping constantly in random places on set

Just BFF things: having matching palm scars

ARCHIEEEEE

Sometimes I feel for Archie because it can’t be easy playing Mal who, as characters in the grishaverse go, isn’t exactly the biggest fan favorite

And yet he’s out here giving us performances of this caliber

I see you and I love you Mr. Renaux

And that’s the end of episode 4!

[Episode 01 post] [Rewatch Commentary Links Masterpost]

#shadow and bone netflix #shadow and bone #alina starkov #malyen oretsev #grishaverse #the darkling #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #yes im back on my bullshit #i have so many thoughts and want to talk about s2 but wanted to finish these s1 eps first

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madwheelerz · 2 years

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My hottest take is both Mike and El wanted to break up with each other during their Surfer Boy Pizza talk

#byler #mike wheeler #el hopper #both of them were so vague #and like it wouldn't have been out of the question for mike to try and say ily #but the entire season was him basically going 'yeah my relationship is bones'#plus the way he didn't try to kiss her or anything during their reunion is sus

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leqclerc · 2 years

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That monaco tour better be happening... Or crumbs this week on the paddock to compensate the no sebchal presscon 😔

Honestly, it's what we deserve 😭🤧 The Monaco-Baku stretch was literally my favourite part of the entire season last year. Such a rollercoaster, Charles and Seb at the center of it all...And the crumbs were exquisite! They were really clued to each other pre-race in Monaco...and then obviously that moment on the grid when we knew Charles couldn't start. And then Baku! The possibility of a Sebchal podium! It was this close at one point! We could've had it all! But we still got compensation in the form of that embrace and helmet (?) cradle, and then the whole texting story, Charles praising Seb in every post-race interview he did...We really had it all at that point and afterwards it was just downhill from there 🙃

I so, so, so wish the bus tour thing would happen, that they'd get them together for a feature (be it the respective PR teams of Ferrari and Aston, or Sky Sports, or someone from the FIA PR video department) but I have basically no hopes that anything like that will transpire. Seb and Charles as a pair generally go under the radar a lot of the time, and ~the media tends to favour relationships like Mick & Seb, Pierre & Charles and Lando & Carlos instead. So, yeah, RIP bus tour I guess 🙃 Especially since that part of the presser wasn't even broadcast, so it's like this throwaway line that made waves across social media on the day, but won't actually go anywhere. I'm open to being pleasantly surprised but being realistic... 😭

So, I guess it's all in their hands now! Please throw us a bone here guys ❤️🥺 I think it'd be amazing for Seb to witness Charles's first Monaco [truck noises] given his own string of successes at the track and, crucially, that win in 2017. I'm big on narratives and things coming full circle and parallels and legacies and all of that so 👀 Seb's got a positive stat going for him too - top 5 finishes in all the races he has finished in Monaco - so I'm hoping they'll both have a positive weekend. Or, at the very least, that they'll console the other if things go sideways 🙏🏻

#replies #anonymous #sebchal anon #sebchal asks #not putting them together in the presser IS a crime so jot that down #but i still hope we get *something* at least #afaik monaco tends to show the good bits of the drivers' parade where they're all bunched up together waiting for the trucks #so hopefully 🙏🏻#monaco gp 2022

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him-e · 3 years

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what did you think of shadow and bone? have you read the books? i only read the duology

Thoughts on Shadow and Bone, now that you've probably seen it?

I think the show is alright? It lacks a real wow factor as far as I’m concerned, but it’s enjoyable. It’s especially enjoyable in those parts I didn’t anticipate to like / didn’t even know would be there.

Whereas the main selling points leave a lot to be desired.

The good stuff: the visuals. The aesthetic. The overall concept. Production, casting and costumes are excellent, the setting is fascinating. The worldbuilding isn’t perfect and is sometimes confusing, which is probably due to the show jumping ahead of the books and introducing elements that happen much later in the book saga, but I’m loving the vague steampunk-y vibe of it mixed with more typical fantasy stuff and slavic-inspired lore, the fact that it’s set in dystopian Russia rather than your usual ye olde England.

I find it interesting that in this ‘verse the Grisha are simultaneously superstars, privileged elite, legendary creatures and despised outcasts, according to the context and the type of magic they wield. It’s A Lot, and so far it’s all a bit underdeveloped and messy, like a patchwork of different narratives and tropes sewn together without an organic worldbuilding structure. (there are hints to a past when they were hunted, but how did they go from that to being, essentially, an institutionalized asset to the government isn’t clear yet. There’s huge narrative potential in this, and I hope future seasons will delve into those aspects)

Many of the supporting characters are surprisingly solid. I appreciated that Genya and Zoya eventually sort of traded places, subverting the audience’s assumptions about them and their own character stereotypes, despite the little screentime they were given.

Breakout characters/ships for me were Nina/Matthias, and even more so the Crows, i.e. the stuff I didn’t see coming and knew nothing about (having only read the first book). (I thought the entire Crows subplot was handled in a somewhat convoluted way, at least in the first episodes; it was hard to keep track of who wanted Alina and why, but the Crows’ chemistry is so strong it carried the whole Plot B on its shoulders).

HELNIK. As an enemies to lovers dynamic, Helnik was SUPER on the nose, I’d say bordering on clichéd with the unapologetic, straight outta fanfiction use of classic tropes like “we need to team up to survive” and “there’s only one bed and we’ll freeze to death if we don’t take our conveniently damp clothes off and keep each other warm with the heat of our naked bodies” (not that I’m complaining, but i like to pine for my ships a bit before getting to the juicy tropetown part, tyvm). And then they’re suddenly on opposite sides again because of a tragic misunderstanding - does Bardugo hate high-conflict dynamics? It certainly seems so, because between Helnik and Darklina I’m starting to see a pattern where the slow burn and blossoming mutual trust is rushed and painted in broad, stereotypical strokes to get as fast as possible to the part where they *hate each other again* and that’s... huh. Something.

^That’s probably why I’m almost more interested in Kaz x Inej, because their relationship feels a bit more nuanced, a bit more mysterious, and a bit more unpredictable. (I didn’t bother spoiling myself about them, so I really don’t know where they’re going, but it’s refreshing to see a dynamic that the narrative isn’t scrambling to define in one direction or the other as quickly as possible)

Now, as for Darklina VS Malina... I found exactly what I expected.

Both are ship dynamics I’m, on principle, very much into (light heroine/dark villain, pining friends to lovers) but both are also much less interesting than they claim to be, or could have been with different narrative choices. I’ll concede that the show characters are all more fleshed out and likable than their book counterparts, and the cringe parts I vaguely remembered from the books played out differently. And, well, Ben Barnes dominates the scene, he’s hot as HELL, literally every single second he’s on screen is a fuck you to Bardugo’s attempts to make his character lame and uninteresting and I’m LOVING it, lol.

But yeah, B Barnes aside, Darklina is intrinsically, deliberately made to be unshippable.

It makes me mad, because it’s - archetypally speaking - made of shipping dynamite: yin/yang-sun and moon, opposites attract, COMPLEMENTARY POWERS AND SO ON. And what does Bardugo do with these ingredients? A FUCKING DELIBERATE DISASTER:

^ Placing the kiss so early on (season 1, episode five) effectively kills the romantic tension that was (correctly) building up until that point, and leaves the audience very little to still hope for, in terms of emotional evolution of the dynamic.

Bardugo lays all the good stuff down as early and quickly as possible (the bonding, the conflicted attraction, the recognizing the other as one’s equal, etc) only to turn the tables and pull the rug so y’all sick creepyshippers won’t have anything to look forward to, because THEY’VE ALREADY HOOKED UP AND THAT BELONGS TO THE PAST, IT’S OVER, THEY’RE ENEMIES. This, combined to the fact that she falls for him *without* knowing who he really is, is the opposite of what I want from a heroine/villain ship (it’s basically lovers to enemies, and while that can be valid too, I wanted to see more pining and more prolonged, tormented symbolic attraction to the Shadow/Animus on Alina’s part).

But here’s the trick: it’s not marketed as lovers to enemies - it has all the aesthetics and trappings of an enemies to lovers (the Darkling is, from the get go, villain-presenting, starting from his name), so it genuinely feels like a trollfic, or at the very least a cautionary tale *against* shipping the heroine with the tall dark brooding young villain, and I don’t think it’s cool at all. It makes the story WAY less interesting, because it humanizes the villain early on (when it’s not yet useful or poignant to the story, because it’s unearned) but it’s a red herring. The real plot twist is that the villain shouldn’t be sympathized with, just defeated: there’s a promise of nuanced storytelling, that is quickly denied and tossed aside. So is the idea of incorporating your Shadow (a notion that Bardugo must be familiar with, otherwise she wouldn’t have structured Alina and the Darkling as polar opposites who complement each other, but that she categorically refutes)

Then we have Malina. The good ship.

Look, I’m not that biased against it. I don’t want to be biased on principle against a friends to lovers dynamic that antagonizes a heroine/villain one, because every narrative is different, and for personal reasons I can deeply relate to the idea of being (unspeakably) in love with your best friend. So there are aspects of Malina that I can definitely be into, but it troubles me that in this specific context it’s framed as a regression. It’s Alina’s comfort zone, a fading dream of happiness from an idealized childhood, to sustain which the heroine systematically stunts her growth and literally repressed her own powers, something that in the books made her sickly and weak. But the narrative weirdly romanticizes this codependency, often making her tunnel vision re: going back to Mal her primary goal and centering on him her entire backstory/motivation, to the point that when she starts acting more serious re: her powers and alleged mission to destroy the Fold, it feels inorganic and unearned.

Mal is intrinsically extraneous to Alina’s powers, he doesn’t share them, he doesn’t understand them, he has little to offer to help her with them, and so the feeling is that he’s also extraneous to her heroine’s journey, aside from being a sort of sidekick or safe harbor to eventually come back to. People have compared him to Raoul from Phantom of the Opera, and yeah, he has the same ~magic neutralizer~ vibe, tbh.

The narrative also polarizes Mal’s normalcy and relative “safety” against Aleksander’s sexy evil, framing Alina’s quasi-platonic fixation on the former as a better and purer form of love than her (much more visible and palpable) attraction to the latter. This is exacerbated by the show almost entirely relying on scenes of them as kids to convey their bond. I’m sure there are ways to depict innocent pining for your best friend that don’t involve obsessively focusing on flashbacks of two CHILDREN running in a meadow and looking exactly like brother and sister. LIKE. I get it, they’re like soulmates in every possible way, BUT DO THEY WANT TO KISS EACH OTHER?

Which brings me to a general complain: for a young adult saga centering on a young heroine and full of so many hot people, this story is weirdly unsexy? There are a lot of shippable dynamics, but they’re done in such a careless, ineffective way that makes ZERO EFFORT to work on stuff like slow burn, pining and romantic tension, and when it does it’s so heavy handed that the viewer doesn’t feel encouraged at all to fill the blanks with their imagination and start anticipating things (which is, imo, the ESSENCE of shipping). The one dynamic that got vaguely close to this is, again, Kaz and Inej, and coincidentally it’s also the one we didn’t get confirmed as romantic YET. Other than that, where’s the slow burn? What ship am I supposed to agonize over during the hiatus to season two? Has shipping become something to feel ashamed of, like an embarrassing relative you no longer want to invite in your home?

Anyway, back to Alina/Darkling/Mal, this is how the story reads to me:

girl suspects to be special, carefully pretends to be normal so she can stay with Good Boy

the girl’s powers eventually manifest; she’s forcibly separated from Good Boy

the girl’s powers attract Bad Boy who is her equal and opposite but is also a major asshole

girl initially falls for Bad Boy; has to learn a hard lesson that nobody that sexy will ever want her for who she is, he’s just trying to exploit her

also, no, there is no such thing as a Power Couple

girl is literally given a slave collar by Bad Boy through which he harnesses her power (a parody of the Twin Scars trope)

you know how the story initially suggested that the joint powers of Darkness and Light would defeat evil? LOL NO, Darkness is actually evil itself and the way you destroy evil is using Light to destroy Darkness, forget that whole Jungian bullshit of integrating your shadow, silly!

conclusion: girl realizes being special sucks. She was right all along! Hiding and suppressing her powers was the best choice! She goes back to the start, to the same Good Boy she was meekly pining for prior to the start of the story.

... there’s an uncomfortable overall subtext that reads a lot like a cautionary tale against - look, not just against darkships and villain/heroine pairings, but also *overpowered* heroines and, well... change? Growth?

Like, it’s certainly a Choice that Alina starts the story *already* in love with Mal. That she always knew it was him. The realization could have happened later (making the dynamic much more shippable, too), but no.

#anon #asks #*#sab for ts #long post #darklina for ts #malina for ts #sorry it took me a while but i wanted to see the whole season first

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dex-xe · 3 years

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Ghosts S03E01 - The Bone Plot

(I watched the entire series 3 in one night so here’s a running commentary of my thoughts. Likes/dislikes, bits I screamed/laughed/cried, details I noticed. Basically just a thought train from yours truly :P not that anyone’s interested - mostly just for my own analysis this

BUT Please come hit up my inbox with responses to episodes etc, I’ve had a few already that I’m in the process of answering so yeah lets chat :D)

Opening with Humphrey backstory is a bold move especially if people are just catching it and haven’t seen the show before

Oooohhhhhh documentary!!

Ahhhhhh, soooooo Humphrey wasn’t assassinated, he planned an assassination fascinating

Why does Robin not remember?? Just cause it was a long time ago??

The Captain has laughed before, right?? I’m sure I’ve seen him laugh before??

Thomas it’s not you XD

BOOOOONNNNNEEEEEE

How did they not know it was Humphrey?? She’s dressed like a fucking Tudor - absolutely no critical thinking skills at Button House. They share one braincell and the ghost pigeon has flown away with it again…

All this before the opening titles, this is gonna be a long post!!

I like that Alison starts stuttering simply at the thought of being on camera, nice set up for her anxiety about it

Robin senses the moon?? Oooohhhhh - and a Macbeth reference!!

Of course he senses Barclay arriving!!

The others calling Humphrey like a dog is so funny

Omg are we gonna get Cap/Fanny solidarity this season??? I just want them to be like a sibling relationship!!

(Pronoun correction - well done Kitty)

Did Humphrey used to paint?? Cause why else would he assume he was famous for being a painter if he wasn’t an artist in life????

Mary is a death gatekeeper, I adore that!!

Can we talk about how similar this scene is to one I wrote literally ages ago in the Ghosts Christmas story on AO3???? Like Humphrey trying to speak broken French like just how I wrote it and his wife hating English, it’s literally over dinner (well breakfast) as well?? I have the foresight of a medium apparently but only in very specific fan fiction scenarios!!

Omg live Humphrey is so cute wtf?? Why do I have a crush on him, or is it gender envy?????? Gender envy from a headless Tudor????

Poor Humphrey, all he wants is a nice wife!!

Pat stop ruining the moment!!

Oh God no?? If Barclay dies at Button House will he be stuck there???? Ah thanks for confirming that for me, Julian. Get that bitch off the property!!

Obi content, Obi content, Obi content!! My guy.

Okay but why does Fanny calling Pat out on his racist joke feel so rewarding to me??

A nun, a gorilla, and a WHAT, Patrick???? Pat making a pedo joke, did not have that on my season 3 bingo card????

Humphrey is so good to his wife, he’s making such an effort even though she’s really not making much effort back. It must have been so difficult for them both though seriously

She speaks English???

What’s happening?? OOOOhhhh they’re gonna kill Queen Elizabeth and put I’m assuming Mary Queen of Scots on the throne?? Cause they’re Catholics right so Mary QoS would make sense like the Babington Plot right??

Sophie defending her husband you love to see it.

Did Julian have a heart attack?? He says he knows the sign and that squash will do it.

It must be so weird for Charlotte and obviously especially Kiell as well to just talk to the air??

"LIKE POSH BATMAN" XD XD

"Bonne see you all!!" Humphrey I adore you so much!!

No don’t discover the plot?? Is he killed cause he found out about it??

“Arms at our sides, we’re not a seagull.”

Did Kitty die of a disease of some kind?? She really didn’t like the idea of laughter being contagious??

Ah so that’s why they were all laughing apart from Cap and Fanny.

Oh God Humphrey no??

“This isn’t the life you signed up for - go have another one” Catch me CRYING??? Humphrey you are so sweet wtf??? Don’t sacrifice yourself though, it ain’t worth it??

THE SALUTE

Humphrey and Robin solidarity

Wait?? He wasn’t executed right there?? So the documentary is wrong?? Does he die in a sword fight?? Nope he can’t get the swords down. What’s happening??

(I love the arguing between the guards thats so good XD)

The chimney - genius move!! (his legs O.O nice legs)

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH BITCH I SCREAMED, THE FUCKING SWORDS THATS SO FUNNY HOLY SHIT???? I LOVE THAT SO MUCH OMG, THATS SUCH A GOOD TWIST!! OMG

The body?? Holy shit thats so good omg

ROBIN TUDOR ERA ROBIN finding Humphrey awwwwwww

“Ummmm - they’re all at it” the sass Thomas I love it!!

Ngl I kinda want the Button House jumper?? It looks so comfy!!

Ooooooohhhh Julian thinks Barclay’s dead that’s so clever - bitch is on the verge of death though

Ahhhhh its the shirt, so bitch isn’t gonna die what a prick.

Alison don’t kiss the tag it’s been on the sweaty chest of a land owning Tory all day - you’ll catch every disease under the sun from that.

Thomas leave her alone

Yesssss Alison standing up to him finally!!

*whispers* “Damn your eyes” that is literally the sweetest thing O.o

I want this scene tattooed on me forever, Thomas’ little smile when she stands up to him!!

ALISON PARENTAL BACKSTORY THIS IS ALL IVE WANTED!! We got it right though, lost both parents.

“Like having family all around me” <3 <3 <3 Oh fuck leave her alone

FAMILY PHOTO O.O O.O That’s so sweet

BUTT HO BUTT HO BUTT HO BUTT HO (Cap… calm yourself)

Julian’s cameo XD XD XD That’s brilliant!!! And Pat asking for an autograph

THAT WAS SO GOOOODDDDDDD

AS YOU CAN SEE MY USE OF CAPS HAS INCREASED THOUGH THE EPISODE CAUSE HOLY SHIT AMAZING

BRO I LOVED THAT SO MUCH???? THIS SEASON IS GONNA BE INCREDIBLE OMG

100/10 PRIMARILY FOR HUMPHREY CONTENT AND ALSO ALISON BACKSTORY

#bbc ghosts spoilers #bbc ghosts #max watches

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piduai · 2 years

Note

Dang, I picked up rakugo a little while ago after seeing you post about it (trying to fill the void GK has left behind), is the ending that bad?? I’m loving it but want to be prepared for the disappointment haha

if i were you ideally i wouldn't pick up season 2 at all. it does have good even great moments but the disappointment is simply not worth it; s1 tells a good story on its own. if you do pick up s2 i strongly firmly recommend not watching the very last episode ever. like pretend that it doesn't exist, it doesn't add anything significant to the story since it's after kiku's death but i was legit so mad about it for 5 entire years SPOILERS under the cut

anyway basically it turns out that kiku has been fucking konatsu this whole time and that kid was born between the two of them 🙄 so when he's asking sukeroku's ghost if he's angry with him about "what he did to his daughter" he's talking about fucking her despite the fact that he RAISED her as his own DAUGHTER after her PARENTS both of whom he wanted to BONE but DIDN'T because he's a COWARD died in front of their eyes!!!!!!!!! and both have been blaming themselves for their deaths! just thinking about this makes my blood boil all over again SHE WAS YOUR DAUGHTER FUCK YOU KILL YOURSELF I HOPE YOU NEVER FIND PEACE IN HELL yeah anyway i'm normal about this. i just loved their relationship so much, i loved the loneliness they shared, their pain, the resentment, the love for both miyokichi and sukeroku, this kind of hurt is so unique but no it had to be fucking ruined because it's always like this when straight sex is involved. i'm going to bash my head against the wall. if it wasn't for the last fucking episode where things are strongly hinted at then this series is an unparalleled masterpiece tho

#if you're reading the manga then idk i never read it so....#but anyway maybe i'm overreacting and it's not a big deal and doesn't take away from the story. probably.#i'm just sensitive about this particular trope i'm sorry idgaf that it actually Deepens their characters and that it shows that #Everyone Is Flawed and that Life is Unpredictable blah blah #i UNDERSTAND that it has symbolic and narrative value it still disgusts me!!!!!! sorry for being a baby about this i still feel betrayed #anon

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gubes-sweaters · 4 years

Text

Never Be the Same

Authors Note: Before you read this please don't kill me it's left off on a cliffhanger on purpose and I will write a second part soon. Also I write about what happened in Mexico (spoiler alert if you haven't seen season 15) I know that Lindsay didn't actually do anything (Cat mentions it in the episode date night) but at the time Spencer didn't know so I wrote it as such.

Content warning: arguing, light smut, brief mention of physical and sexual assault, spoilers for season 12+.

Word count: 1.6k

It's been officially three months since Spencer has been home from prison. I know things will never be the same and I don't expect him to be the person he once was, but he's been incredibly distant. Between being manhandled by fellow inmates in prison and feeling violated after what Lindsey Vaughn did in Mexico I can understand why he's been so distant. Most people don't see Spencer as a cuddly person, but that's only because they aren't in a relationship with him. Most people think Spencer is completely averse to human touch, but once he gets close to you he has no problem with it. In fact, when I met Spencer he was so attention and touch starved that he practically followed me around like a puppy for the first couple of months we started dating.

Normally we would wake up together in the morning when he was home and I would cook breakfast while he would stand behind me with his arms wrapped around my waist swaying back-and-forth to music. He would also often plant kissed up and down my neck, side of my face, and the crown of my head. If he was still home by the time lunch came around we would still be right next to each other either being on the couch watching Doctor Who or snuggling up and reading books together. Spencer was always a bit of a homebody only because he spent so much time away from home on cases. When he was finally home he didn't wanna leave until he had to.

Now most mornings when I wake up Spencer is facing away from me. I wake up only to make breakfast separate from him, sometimes we eat together sometimes we don't. Now we kind of just live separate lives. Sometimes I even make excuses to leave the apartment because I don't feel welcomed in there. I want this to change, I need this to change.

It's not for my own selfish reasons well not completely, but I know if I let this continue Spencer and I aren't going to last much longer. He will push himself away further and further until he's in a rut that he can't come out of. I miss him and I miss us. I decided this morning to try and convince him to go out to dinner with me tonight. Today he doesn't have any classes to teach and he's still on his sabbatical, so he has no excuse as to why he couldn't when it comes to being busy. That leads me to where we are right now, a typical Sunday morning and I am making breakfast while he’s in the living room planning for his next lecture.

"So how do you feel about maybe going out to eat tonight?" I asked while setting a plate of bacon, eggs, and pancakes right in front of him. I take a seat next to him on the couch waiting for his response.

"Oh... uh... yeah, sure I don't see why not." He says still engrossed in his papers. He flips through them so fast that he doesn't even fully pay attention to what he agreed to do tonight.

I put my hand on the file that he's reading before closing it and pulling it away. I then push his plate in front of him and ask him once again if he wants to go out tonight. All he can do is look at me like he's staring at a brick wall. He opens and closes his mouth a couple of times like a fish out of water before just avoiding the question and starts to eat his breakfast.

"It’s just that we haven't done anything since you've been back home. If you don't wanna go out that's fine, we can have a movie night or anything I just want to spend time with you. I don't want you to push yourself away from me like I know you're doing right now. Your lecture can wait and you have a bit of time until you can be reinstated to the BAU. Take a little time for me and you please." I beg of him knowing he probably won't be able to resist the puppy dog eyes I'm giving him.

"Ok, yeah you're right I need a break from work for a minute. I don't really feel like leaving the house I think I'm too anxious to leave right now, but a movie night with takeout does sound really good."

I'll take it, I mean he agreed to at least have a movie night with me. I also don't want to have an argument over what were doing. I also don't want to push him too far. It's a step forward, but little does he know I have a little bit more planned than that.

-time skip-

For some reason, we decided to watch Rocky Horror Picture Show first, and Spencer decided to get pizza for dinner. Like I said right now I'm gonna take whatever I can get from this. As we're about halfway through the movie and completely through the pizza I realize we're sitting on opposite ends of the couch. We look a little less like a couple that's been together for four years and more like two awkward teenagers having to watch a movie with either one of our parents. I slowly start to scoot closer and closer to him before I'm glued to his side. After a while, he relaxes into my touch and wraps his arms around my shoulder. I start to plant kisses on his neck and jawline. Once I find that spot on his neck I'm so familiar with it doesn't take him but a couple of seconds to become putty in my hands.

He suddenly grabs my jaw and kisses me furiously. He kisses me with so much vigor and passion, that same passion I've missed too much. Before I even fully comprehend what's going on he's already carried me to our bedroom. He plops my body on the bed with such force that my body bounces in place a couple of times.

Spencer crawls over me and begins sucking on every inch of my neck and collar bones that he can easily get to. After becoming frustrated by the lack of canvas for him, he tugs at the bottom of my shirt a bit before looking at me silently asking for permission. I nod a lift my torso up ever so slightly and lift my arms over my head so he can take my shirt off. He continues marking me until he retracts his head back to see what he did. When I was expecting him to share the same enthusiasm as I had his face dropped. I squinted at him trying to ask if everything's alright without outright saying it. For a couple of moments that were filled with tension, he continues to just stare at me. He's not even looking at my eyes he's just looking at the marks he left. When his eyes started to the water I became nervous and I wanted to know what's going on. I reached out to touch him and he completely retracted before backing up off the bed. He still didn't say anything while he quickly, but very calmly gathered his keys, wallet, and shoes before walking out.

The entire time I was calling out to him wondering what's going on once I got my shirt back on.

"Spence... hey Spence what's going on?" I say while following him out the door. This time I make sure to grab him and when I did I was met with nothing but unbridled rage. With tears in his eyes and a disgusted look on his face, he ripped his forearm from out of my grasp.

"I don't want to talk to you right now! Isn't that fucking obvious why do you think I'm walking away? Don't even think about following me! I don't want you to talk to me, I don't want your sympathy or help, and most importantly right now I don't want you!" He shouts at me before stomping down the hall.

Two concerned neighbors peeked their heads at the door as he went down the hall. All I could do is stand there in horror and confusion. I mean Spencer and I have argued, but all couples do. That wasn't even an argument I don't even know what to call it. Most importantly he has never even raised his voice at me. Normally when Spencer is mad he's calm, and he talks to you with a disappointed almost sad tone rather than an angry one. I don't know who that was because that wasn't my boyfriend.

I slump myself against the door and curl my knees into my chest before letting out heavy sobs. My shoulders rack as my brain tries to adjust to the whiplash of emotions. I cry until I can't anymore and at this point I'm just letting out hiccups while trying to control my breathing. After a while, I don't even have the energy to cry. After sitting numbly on the floor staring at a random corner of the room I pick myself up and just go through the motions to get ready for bed. I can't even call Spencer because he left his phone, so I don't even try and bother worrying about him. After I shower I lay in our bed with still-damp hair. I don't know where he is or when he's coming home but my body is basically shutting down while I'm worrying about where he's at. My eyes are closing against my own will. I'm just hoping I'll wake up next to my boyfriend's curly hair tickling me like most mornings.

Taglist: @rexorangecouny @haylaansmi

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid angst #Criminal Minds Fanfiction #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds angst #criminal minds #spencer reid smut

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sweetyyhippyy · 3 years

Text

Part of You. Spencer Reid x OC! Character. Chapter 6.

Chapter 6: Birthday

(not my gif)

Summary: The morning after last chapter. Spencer and Bridgett spend the day together, being cute, having breakfast, and talking about the future.

Pairing: Season 6 Spencer Reid x OC! Plus size character, Bridgett Mendez.

TW: Small talk about the night before, start of sexy time, a cuss word I think?

Word count: 2.4k

A.N.: I’m really sorry, this chapter is filler so it’s not the best. There is some fluff sprinkled throughout the chapter so hopefully you’ll like it! This is still season 6 Spencer! Also, if you reblog this chapter I will follow you!!

______

Spencer turns over, stretching his body and opening his eyes to see the back of Bridgett’s head next to him, her hair tied up on her head. She managed to push the covers down from around her body to her hip, her entire back exposed to him while she was sleeping away. She ran hot most nights, especially when Spencer was cuddled up behind her.

Spencer wraps his arms around her, moving closer to her naked body. Bridgett was cold to the touch as he hugged her close. His fingers trace from her hip bone, up her curves and across her back over a red bite mark on her right shoulder from last night, then around to the side of her neck to the hickies he had left on his girlfriend, kind of concerned he had hurt her. Bridgett’s body shutters next to him, a low moan coming from her as she stirs next to him.

“Shhh, go back to bed.” He whispers in her ear, rubbing her shoulder lightly.

“That tickles, I can’t go back to bed.” Bridgett mutters despite her eyes still being closed. She lets out a laugh feeling how softly his fingers were touching her bruised skin, feeling the dull soreness on the side of her neck.

Spencer leans on his arm and drops down to kiss her cheek multiple times. She hums in happiness finally opening her eyes and laying on her back to face Spencer. Bridgett lightly touches Spencer’s exposed collarbone with her fingers, making him shiver in return. Spencer moves to lay his body on top of Bridgett, resting his head in between her shoulder and neck, leaving little kisses on her skin.

“Good morning.” She smiles, grabbing the sheets and pulling them up over both of them. “I’m cold.” Bridgett says, playing with his hair.

Spencer wraps his arms around her and holds her tight, giving her a squeeze. “Probably since you slept naked.” He teases.

“Or because you weren’t cuddling with me.” She pokes back. Spencer laughs, kissing the top of her head twice.

“You’re right, you’re cold because I wasn’t touching you.”

“I’m glad you agree.”

Brat.

“Hey,” He starts, picking his head up to look at Bridgett’s face. “Did I hurt you last night?”

Bridgett cocks her head to the side, giving him a questioning look. “No? Why?”

Spencer moves the necklace over carefully and lightly runs his hands over the two bruises on her neck, his eyes not leaving hers.

“Oh, Spence, baby no.” Bridgett coos, touching his cheek lightly. “No you didn’t hurt me. I like when you leave marks on me. It’s a pain to cover them up, but I do like them.” Bridgett can tell Spencer isn’t 100% content with her answer, he still felt a little guilty leaving such ugly purple-black bruises on her. She grabs his face, making him look at her. “Hey, don’t make that face at me. I’m telling you I’m okay. Plus, I would have used the safeword if I wanted you to stop.”

“You hate using the safeword.” He says, furrowing his brows.

“Because I can handle a lot more than you think I can, doctor. You think I’m a fragile little flower who can’t handle you being rough and nasty to me.” She smiles devilishly.

He bites onto his bottom lip to hide his smile, rolling his eyes playfully at her. “So do you want to go into town and get some stuff to make breakfast and some dinner? I’ll make waffles, eggs, and bacon. And you could make that fajita pasta tonight?”

It was Spencer’s favorite thing to eat that she cooked.

“Only if you give me a kiss.” Bridgett says, puckering her lips. Spencer kisses her back with a smile, lingering a little longer than he should have.

“Okay, let’s get showered and let’s go.” Spencer throws the covers off his body and rolls out of bed.

“Shared shower?” Bridgett questions, smiling at her boyfriend, making grabby hands up at him.

Spencer cocks his eyebrow at her, not being able to keep his smile in. He holds his hand out while she gets out of bed, grabbing his hand and heading off for their shower.

***

A few hours had passed, they got enough food for the rest of the night and some snacks for the next day.

They ate brunch in bed, Spencer trying to steal strawberries off Bridgett’s plate because he ate all of his. Bridgett yells jokingly as Spencer weasels his fork across her plate, impaling 2 of her strawberries.

“Excuse me!” Bridgett complains. “You should have cut yourself more strawberries if you wanted them, these are mine.” She taunts him, moving her strawberries away from close to him.

“Couples share!” Spencer says, shoving the whole berry in his mouth.

“They do but I don’t share strawberries. Just like you don’t share your jello. I learned that lesson the hard way.”

Spencer laughs, remembering when he basically interrogated Bridgett when he saw a jello cup missing from the fridge. The one freaking time she craves jello and Spencer turns bad cop on her.

“I have a question.” Spencer says, stuffing his face with a piece of waffle.

“Okay.”

“Is there any fixing the relationship you and your parents have? Or is that broken beyond repair?”

Bridgett stops chewing, looking over at Spencer, completely taken back by his question.

“Where is this coming from? Before I answer.”

He shrugs his shoulders, “I dunno, I was curious about if you would ever take me home to meet your parents.”

Bridgett sighs, thinking about the answer to her question. To be honest, she hadn't even thought about Spencer meeting her parents. Mostly because she didn’t want them to scare Spencer away.

“Well, I don’t know. I haven’t given it thought until 5 seconds ago if I’m being honest. If my parents weren’t… how my parents are, and we had a good relationship, I would have taken you to meet them a long time ago. I know how they are and I don’t want them to do or say anything that’ll make you uncomfortable or upset you.The only person I can see you meeting is my sister, Celeste.”

“Upset me how?”

“I never told you, but there was a boy back when I was a junior, I had a huge crush on him, his name was Cruz, and we weren’t ever boyfriend and girlfriend or anything, but he took me out on a few dates. Anyway, my mom saw us out one night at a mall, and she started tearing him to shreds. Calling him a ‘hoodlum’, ‘gang banger’, any other insensitive name she could call him because he had a tattoo and his ears were pierced. And she said all of that to his face. I was mortified, he was pissed, and we never went out after that. I just don’t want them to treat you horribly. You don’t deserve that.”

“I get it, it’s okay if it doesn’t happen, but you know I can handle it, right?”

“I know, babe, but then I’m going to get mad and it’s just going to end in the three of us yelling and I don’t want that. I’m not counting it out completely just… not yet. And since you brought it up, have you ever thought about me meeting your mom?”

“Yeah of course. It might be further down the road, but yes I do want you two to meet. You two are both very important to me.”

“Unfortunately neither of us have a normal family.” Bridgett jokes.

“We can make our own normal family.” Spencer says nonchalantly, making Bridgett turn her head quickly toward him. Spencer feels her eyes on him, making him look back at her. “What?”

“You know what you just said right? You’ve thought about us having our own family?”

Spencer breaks eye contact, his cheeks getting a little red. “Well yeah. I’ve thought a lot about marrying you, us having kids. We’ve both talked about wanting families one day, and it was before we got together that we had that conversation, but it still stands at least for me.”

Bridgett smiles at him, kissing his lips, a hint of strawberry on them. “What’s stopping you from marrying me right now?”

“Not much, honestly. But we’re only in our 20s. I think we should wait a little while longer before we get married.”

“I’m imagining you in a nice tuxedo,” Bridgett grabs both of their plates of food, placing them on the nightstand, and climbs onto Spencer’s lap, straddling him.

Spencer raises his eyebrows, resting both of his hands on her hips, and a peaceful smile on his face.

“Your hair combed back, looking like SuperMan in your glasses, because you know what your glasses do to me.” She whispers, kissing him again.

Spencer pulls back from the kiss first, a smile on his face. “Actually, Clark Kent wore glasses to cover up the fact he was SuperMan. But glasses aren’t much of a disguise, if I put glasses on you I would still be able to tell that it was you. Even if he was a strang-“

Bridgett kisses him again, lingering for a few extra seconds before pulling back. “I love when you info drop, I think it’s very cute and I love hearing you go on about stuff you know a lot about, but I was trying to be sexy.”

Spencer laughs, cupping Bridgett’s face in his hands. “You don’t have to try hard, my love.”

***

Bridgett’s body shutters, making her wake up. She grabs for the blanket that she pushed off her body during the night. As she pulled the blanket it wouldn’t come up further than her stomach, making her whine.

“Spencer you’re on the blanket. You’re being a blanket hog.” She mumbles, turning around to lay on his chest to wake him up but the spot next to her was empty. Bridgett opens her eyes, lifting her head up off the pillow and looking at the empty bed.

“Spence?” Bridgett calls out, sitting up on the bed to find her discarded clothes on the floor. She slips her underwear on, putting her long sleeve sweatshirt over her bare torso to go find Spencer.

She walks around the cabin, finding a yellow heart shaped balloon and a birthday cake balloon swaying back and forth on the counter in the kitchen, the ribbon tied to the handle of the overhead cabinet. Bridgett smiles as she sees Spencer sitting on the couch, bringing his coffee mug to his lips. She walks up behind him, leaning down and runs her hands down both sides of his chest and enveloping him in a hug.

“Good morning, hermoso.” Bridgett whispers in his ear, kissing the spot below his ear.

“Good morning.” Spencer smiles, putting his coffee down on the table next to him. He motions for her to come over to him, holding his arms out.

Bridgett rounds the couch, sitting next to him, and placing her legs in his lap, kissing his cheek.

“Happy birthday, babe.” He says, giving her a peck on the lips.

Bridgett gives him a kiss back, smiling into his lips as they pull back. “Thank you. I love my balloons.” Kissing him again. “And you.”

“I love you too. I have another present I want to give you. Well technically it’s two, but one is more symbolic. Well, symbolic is the wrong word, one is romantic, and the other is a gesture. I don’t know if that’s the right wo-.”

Bridgett laughs, grabbing his face and making him look at her. “Your brain is working faster than your mouth baby. Relax.”

He presses his nose against hers and reaches behind the pillow next to him. “The romantic gift first.” He says, handing her a CD case with a yellow piece of construction paper taped on the inside with the words written in his chicken scratch, “Songs That Remind me of You” with a heart on it.

Bridgett pouts her lip out and makes soft eyes at him. “Babe!” She says in a whiny voice, hugging his waist.

“This can be our playlist for tonight. And I have something else for you.” He says, handing her a key.

Bridgett smiles at him, raising an eyebrow to him. “What’s this for?”

“I could say something cheesy that I had seen on the internet when I was looking up cute ideas for gifts for you, but it’s a key to my apartment. I figured you’re already at my place more often than not so, yeah.” He smiles.

Bridgett takes his face in between her hands again, bringing his face close to hers and kisses him passionately. “I love you so much, Spencer. I’m so lucky.”

“I was nervous that giving you the key was going to freak you out.”

“Why would it freak me out?”

Spencer shrugs his shoulders, looking down at the coffee table trying to sort through the thoughts in his head. “I’ve never done the relationship thing before. I don’t know how soon is too soon to do things, and I don’t want to hold off on doing things because I get in my head about rushing into things… but I don’t want to freak you out and make you feel pressured into something you don’t want to do just to make me happy.” Spencer clears his throat, narrowing his eyes. “You can tell me to stop talking.”

Bridgett giggles, bringing his face closer to hers, her thumb rubs his cheek lovingly. “You know that I would tell you if things were moving too fast, right? Plus, we’ve never had a normal moving relationship in case you haven’t noticed. And I kinda like it… just like I kinda like you.”

Spencer lets out a deep laugh, his eyes scrunching up as she smiles. “You just like me? That’s it?”

“Yup. A strong admiration.” She giggles, bopping her nose against his. “I’m fond of you.”

“Alright, let’s see how fond you are.” He says, shifting his body against the couch and making her lay down on her back against the cushions.

Bridgett wraps her legs around his waist, putting her hands on both sides of his face. “First one to say I love you loses.” She says.

“What's the punishment for losing?”

“The loser has to give the other head… twice.”

“I love you. I love you so much. The love of my life. I love you.” Spencer says, kissing all over her face.

#Spencer Reid #Spencer Reid smut #Spencer Reid imagine #Spencer Reid fic #spencer reid fan fiction #Spencer Reid OC fic #Matthew Gray Gubler #Matthew gray Gubler smut #Matthew gray Gubler fic #Matthew gray Gubler fan fiction #criminal minds #criminal minds fan fiction #spencer reid x oc character #part of you can fic

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hurricanery · 4 years

Text

all to myself

A/N: This is a quick thing I wrote completely as a result of re-watching season 15 Amelink moments. Kinda a throwback. The next story I post will either be some domestic amelink/scout stuff orrrr a multi-chapter AU featuring amelink as interns together w/ some other original characters. Let me know what you wanna read next! Feedback is always appreciated!

_______

Floating on a high, and I feel ya

Got an ache inside, and I need ya

Ooh, I desperately wanna be lost with you

'Til all of our energy crosses

_______

They slept together. Once. Two weeks ago. Rather impulsively at a work conference.

And Amelia knows it was more than just an impulsive move, or a soon-to-be repressed mistake. God, she doesn’t see it as a mistake.

She’s been thinking about it basically 24/7 since she returned back to Seattle. She doesn’t remember finally being able to fall asleep that night, but she does remember waking up the next morning with a start.

Because something was different. Good different.

She had sat up in the hotel bed, instantly reaching for her own lips, running her fingertips over them, as if she’d actually feel proof of what happened.

And then she had registered that distinct taste on her lips and vaguely in the back of her throat. Kind of like the burning sensation of a kiss you’ll never not think of. It was a bold presence in her morning. And it was so refreshing.

Her heart had clenched as she let the hazy memories resurface.

If asked whether she anticipated sleeping with Atticus Lincoln on that night, she would’ve burst out into stunned laughter. Because, no. Of course not. Right?

She’d just ended a long-term relationship. She’d been in a bit of a weird place lately. Not totally herself. And probably not ready. So, this definitely wasn’t going to become anything serious.

But somehow, something had changed that night. And in that moment, after a brief argument that had surprisingly ended in a dinner invite, looking into a pair of pleading blue eyes that she wished didn’t mirror her own, she knew what her next move was.

And it was the way he had gazed back at her, that finally pushed her over the edge. Deciding dinner wasn’t truly what she wanted in that moment, she murmured a quick ‘no’ before stepping forward and capturing his soft lips in her own.

She remembers the way he had instantly kissed her back, and the way his breath felt against her own. Her hands went to the buttons on his shirt, and the noise that she had made in the back of her throat, a mix between a whine and a full-fledged moan. As if to say, finally.

She likes to think it was Link who took control then, slipping his tongue into her mouth and pulling his own shirt the rest of the way off. Pushing her toward the bed and lifting her onto it. Pushing down a wall she’d had up for some time now. Making her feel.

Alternative pain relief.

Finally. Feeling.

_______

Two weeks later and Amelia’s still feeling. A lot.

But her mind is clouded mostly with confusion. Because she hasn’t heard anything from Link since that night. And she hopes to god that he doesn’t regret it. But she’d totally understand if he did. She’s the one in a weird place. The one who needs alternative pain relief.

Part of her feels guilty. The inexplicable doubt weighs on her, the fact that she’s basically using him. Just because she needs it, doesn’t mean he does, too. And so Amelia suppresses any urge she has to bring it up; suppresses any urge she has to just jump his bones right then and there, when the two of them are hopping on a private plane to New York for a surgery. Basically forced into each other’s company.

She’ll act cool, calm, collected….all of it.

She’ll disregard the fact that she’s been ‘in a weird place these days,’ because she’s just grateful that she’s feeling, again.

_______

Amelia steps onto the small plane and all of her anxieties about seeing Link again wash away as soon as she locks eyes with him.

He turns to her, from where he has already taken his seat, and awkwardly kind of shrugs, with a sheepish smile on his face.

“Hey, stranger,” she mumbles, in a mock-serious tone, before she realizes she can’t keep up the facade. And she starts laughing. “Long time, no see.”

Link laughs in agreement, and it looks like his shoulders relax a little. Amelia takes her seat across from him, smirking the whole time.

_______

It happens again.

Amelia doesn’t mean for it to happen again, but it does.

And now she’s slipping out of Link’s bed and pulling on his shirt in one swift movement. Her ‘no sleepovers’ policy at the forefront of her mind as she makes her way to the door between their adjoining hotel rooms.

“Wait, how about we order pizza?”

Amelia glances at Link incredulously. “We have a very important surgery early tomorrow. Sleep time.”

“Or room service?” He continues, persistent. “Room service in bed and then we sleep?”

“No,” Amelia laughs. “No sleepovers, remember?”

Link pouts at her, collapsing back against the bed dramatically. “Let’s forget the rules for a night. I’m hungry.”

“Nope!” Amelia states matter-of-factly. “No complications. We both agreed. My life is already complicated enough.” She laughs.

Link sighs again dramatically, accepting defeat.

“Goodnight, Link.” She smirks at him as he lays back against the bed. “See you tomorrow.”

There’s brief silence as she turns around in her doorway, beginning to push the door shut.

“Goodnight, Amelia.”

_______

The following evening, after a successful surgery, Amelia and Link return to their hotel. As they enter the lobby, the receptionist at the front desk waves in their direction. Amelia simply waves back before she realizes that the receptionist is trying to wave her over.

“I’ll go see what’s up. Hold the elevator for me.” Amelia mumbles.

Link presses the button to call the elevator down and watches from across the lobby as Amelia chats briefly with the staff. A minute later, Amelia returns with a weird look on her face.

“What was that about?” Link asks.

“There’s a problem with the rooms,” she explains. She looks riddled with uncertainty. “Well, with my room.”

“Huh?”

“Apparently my hotel room is reserved for another guest starting early tomorrow. They offered to upgrade me starting tonight.”

Link frowns.

“I didn’t want to have to move all my luggage to another floor so….” She pauses briefly as they step onto the elevator. The next sentence comes out in a nervous mumble. “I said we only needed one room.”

Link slowly breaks out into a smile. “We can work with that,” He says calmly. “Good idea to not have to move your stuff.”

The elevator door opens to their floor and Amelia just stands there for a second, watching Link exit.

She swears she can hear him laughing at her sudden awkwardness as he makes his way down the hallway.

Once Amelia gets all of her luggage settled into Link’s room, she returns to the lobby briefly to return the key card to her previous room.

She re-enters their now shared hotel room and watches as Link sighs tiredly, leaning toward the bed before dramatically sprawling out on it.

Amelia laughs loudly at his action. “You were great today.” She sits on the chair in the corner to remove her ankle boots and jacket. “In surgery I mean.”

“As were you.” Link responds, picking his head up to glance at her. “Very few people in this world can do what you did today.”

Amelia smiles sheepishly at the wholeheartedness of his words, then suddenly stands up.

“I’m gonna shower.” She states, “I’ll just be a few.”

Link tries not to pass out on top of the covers before she returns. He can hear her humming slightly to herself from inside the bathroom, and Link stifles the urge to mock her in any way.

Link changes into some sweatpants and a t-shirt before he hears the water turn off.

“Ah, shit,” he hears Amelia hiss through the thin walls.

“Amelia?” he calls, almost too quickly, cursing himself for being too attentive.

There’s a moment of silence.

“Uh, yeah? Yeah, Hi. Everything’s cool in here. Yep. Don’t worry.” And then she laughs.

“Uhhhh,” he draws out his response. “You sure you’re alright?”

“Yeah, I’m just…..clumsy. Dammit.” She laughs again breathlessly. “I, uh. I cut my shin…. shaving….I thought it stopped bleeding, but…”

Silence falls between them again and Amelia can’t help but laugh at the situation she’s gotten herself in.

“Do you need my help?”

“Uh, no. I don’t think so.” She knows she doesn’t sound convincing.

“…Amelia?”

“Actually, do you have a bandaid? …..Or like six?”

There’s another pause before Amelia can hear some shuffling around in the other room.

“There’s got to be a first aid kit in here somewhere.” Link responds, making his way to the closet “Got it!”

He walks over to the bathroom but pauses with his hand on the door knob. “Should I come in?”

“Yeah, yeah. Please.” Comes a muffled reply.

Link opens the door and is met with an unexpected sight. Not entirely sure what to expect, but Amelia, wrapped up in a white towel, sitting on the lid of the closed toilet seat, leg propped up on the edge of the bathtub, was not it.

He bursts out laughing.

“This is not funny!” But she’s laughing, too. And rolling her eyes at him. “I need those bandages!”

“Wait, no. Amelia. You can’t just put a bandaid on there. You’re bleeding, like, a lot.” He kneels down next to her, and Amelia instinctively pulls her towel tighter underneath her arms. Link gives her a look, as if to say, 'It’s not like I haven’t seen it all before. Now please let me assess your injury.’

And Amelia just relaxes her shoulders, nodding to herself and to him.

“And you’re soaking wet, no bandaid is gonna stay on your skin like this,” he mutters, pushing the ropes of her wet hair back past her shoulders, in hopes that it would help her dry faster.

He grabs a roll of toilet paper from under the sink and goes to work at stopping the bleeding, holding it there for a while until he thinks it’s okay to wrap up.

“Now six bandaids seems a little excessive there, Amelia. How about two?”

“I think I deserve at least four,” she bargains, endearing smirk on her face.

“Fine,” Link gives in, gently placing each bandaid on her shin one at a time. “There. Good as new,” he smiles, patting her leg.

Amelia rolls her eyes, blushing. “Thanks.”

And then Link stands, not sure what to do with himself now.

“I’m going to change now,” Amelia laughs.

And now Link’s blushing. “Yeah, yep. I’ll get out of your way,” he mumbles, exiting the tiny bathroom.

_______

When Amelia enters the room a few minutes later in an oversized t-shirt, which is what she normally wears to bed, she swears she sees Link do a double take. He’s now dressed in sweats standing near his open luggage in the opposite corner of the room. His stare lingers for a second too long and Amelia looks down at herself. She doesn’t understand the sudden awkwardness between them. But the air feels different.

“I know. Sorry, this is all I have,” she mumbles. “And I thought I’d have my own room tonight so-”

“What? No, you’re fine,” Link responds quickly.

She grins at him, clearly amused by him.

Link shakes his head at himself and turns to grab a couple pillows off of the bed, tossing them on to the floor.

“What are you doing?” Amelia interrupts him.

“Making a bed for myself on the floor?” It comes out as a question. “No sleepovers, remember?” He laughs, knowingly.

Amelia looks stunned, but only for a moment.

“No you’re not,” Amelia laughs. “Just get in here,” she adds, as she crawls under the covers on one side of the bed.

Link gratefully tosses the pillows back, getting into bed beside Amelia, sitting against the headboard as he pulls on the covers.

He reaches across and switches off the light on his bedside table, and the whole room goes dark. Amelia rolls onto her side and listens to Link shuffle around until he gets comfortable.

“Goodnight, Link. Thanks again for today,” Amelia whispers in his general direction, not really sure of his current position.

“'Night, Amelia.” Amelia is surprised by the vicinity of his voice, closer than she expected.

A couple minutes later and Amelia needs to readjust herself. She gasps when her face collides with something surprisingly hard. She reaches out her hand and quickly realizes she’s touching Link’s chest, now with her hand, and leaning against him with her face pressed up to it.

“Oops,” she mutters, and Link laughs under his breath.

But she doesn’t move away.

And Link takes the initiative of pulling her in closer at her hips, and then keeping his hands there, squeezing at her waist.

“Amelia, I-”

“Link-”

They both pause. And Link squeezes at her waist again, encouraging her to talk first.

She clears her throat. “Link, I-” She pauses again, working herself up to what she wants to say.

Their eyes are adjusting to the light it seems, and Amelia can just make out Link’s eyes, staring intently back at her. Maybe he can sense her worry.

“It doesn’t have to mean anything,” Link offers.

Amelia nods. “Right,” she mumbles quietly.

Their faces are just inches apart. And Amelia knows she wants to kiss him. She wants to have him again. She wants to keep feeling. Keep falling.

Maybe she wants the complications.

Maybe she just wants to kiss him.

So she does. And Link shivers as her lips gently brush his. Amelia feels Link move one of his hands up in response, so that it’s cupping her cheek, while the other remains on her hip.

Link leans forwards and presses his lips against Amelia’s. He opens his mouth to her and Amelia does the same, catching his top lip between hers. It’s slow, and it’s lovely. And this time it’s not impulsive.

But it still feels so right.

They pull apart, smiling through the darkness. And Amelia rolls over so that her back lines up against Link’s front. His arm goes possessively around her waist, pulling her in closer than they’ve ever been.

Amelia can feel her breath start to even out, as well as hear Link’s. Both on the verge of sleep. She just barely whispers into the quiet of the room, “I kind of like sleepovers."

_______

And I want you all to myself

Just keep me caught in your spell

You stop my breathing, but keep my heart breathing

You're bringing me outta hell

Oh, I want you all to myself

#amelink #amelink fanfic #amelinkfic #amelia shepherd #atticus lincoln #amelia x link #amelinkfanfiction #ALSO THIS FIC IS NAMED AFTER THE SONG THAT PLAYED DURING THEIR FIRST KISS SCENE SHOUTOUT IF YOU NOTICED THAT #my writing

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poguesgold · 3 years

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how did you feel about season? i know most people liked it better than season 1 but i’m not sure how i feel yet🤔 might need to rewatch it

okay this ended up soooo long so i'm giving a tl;dr review here and if anyone cares to read my insanely long thought dump you can feel free. this part is spoiler free also!!

cons: i think they should have further developed the s1 storyline rather than conjuring up an entirely new treasure and conflict; i don't think they did the characters justice a lot of the time, particularly kie and jj; too much yelling and running not enough hanging out; the finale cliff hanger was a stupid writing choice

pros: cleo!!; pope-centric plotline!!!; amazing jjpope moments in the improv sequences; never a boring moment; rafebarry oh my god????; neck kiss shirtless wrestling holding hands standing unnecessarily close jjpope rot; just a straight up nine hour long adrenaline rush and i love that shit.

overall: i definitely did not like it more than s1, but i still REALLY loved it. i think it's worth the watch, just don't go into it expecting good writing or realistic injuries or a comprehensive plot LMFAO. what saves the season is the pogues' chemistry and their improv sequences, for real. and cleo. you WILL get angry about the shitty script and characterization if you’re really invested in that part of things, but as far as vibes and dopamine high it was awesome. it was a fun watch and i'll definitely rewatch at least once to soak it in properly

please this is going to be soooo long i apologize in advance. but i have a lot of thoughts. also ⚠️⚠️spoilers ahead!!⚠️⚠️

most of this review is going to be criticisms tbh so sorry for that but this show kinda sucks (affectionately<3)

i thought season 2 was an absolute TRAINWRECK as far as writing goes. jonas pate was basically like. this season we're going to have an even BIGGER and BETTER treasure!!! but the exact same thing is going to happen. like. we already had gold. and that's what they were going to the bahamas for at the end of season 1 for anyway????? it would have been so easy to just develop the original storyline further, i just cannot figure out why they would completely abandon it for another mediocre storyline. (i LOVED that this other mediocre storyline was pope-centric and the main character energy he was given this season. but. they. could have done that?? with the first storyline?????)

i hate that they brought big john back so so much. SO much. literally it was the stupidest most idiotic lazy cheesy plot choice in the world. it doesn't make sense, we like saw his literal bones at one point like his lifeless corpse, and WHY would they bring back a key character from the PREVIOUS ARC when they created an ENTIRELY NEW CONFLICT AND PLOTLINE FOR THIS SEASON???? jonas pate stuck it in for shock value and cliff hanger in hopes of securing a season 3, and i hate him for it. he's such a terrible writer white men have it so easy

someone in the neck kiss truthers discord earlier pointed out that jb's dead father returning after like a year and a half of thinking he was dead would probably be more traumatic that healing at this point, and i agree so much. also, you know that they're not going to use it for good either way. they're going to use his dad coming back as a way to further traumatize him somehow because obx writers are jombeephobic. and i wouldn't put it past them to bring him back just to kill him off again. jonas pate wants to write john b torture porn and i am TIRED of it

my least favorite thing about season 2 was the characterization. they really did just disregard the characters they created in season 1. kie was completely ooc for like three episodes, and it wasn't because she was mourning. it was just shitty writing. she had no character outside of her relationships this season, which has been my fear from the very beginning and why i have never wanted kie with any of the pogues. season 2 diminished her character to the female love interest, and that just sucked so bad for her.

whether you're a jjpope or not, season 2 completely changed their friendship dynamic. the only time we got glimpses of the season 1 jjpope dynamic was in the improv sequences when rudy and jd took it upon themselves. also during their hugs LMFAO. which is also an acting choice. the writing completely disregarded their friendship and dynamic. it was weird as fuck it was all weird. i also hated that kie and sarah's scripted interactions were just them talking about boys. another case of friendships again being completely disregarded for the cishet relationships.

i just really feel like all of the characters were handled poorly this season, which is crazy because literally ALL we asked for was backstory and character development and pogue screentime. but jonas pate instead decided to write ten episodes of nonstop running and yelling and fuckinf adrenaline, with an ooc script. for funsies

i feel like the magic of season 1 was lost. the vibe of season 1 that makes it so comforting and rewatchable and lovely is sort of just lost in all the silly plot. we see snatches of it here and there, but they feel crammed between unnecessary action scenes and stunts and shouting when we would have been happy with ten episodes of the pogues hanging out in each other's bedrooms.

NOW IM GOING TO TALK THINGS I LIKED OKAY OKAY

i seriously DID love watching it. we pulled an all nighter in the neck truthers discord and binged the entire season and the adrenaline of that kept me going for the rest of the week. it was literally fucking insane absolutely batshit and i LOVED it. the writing was horrible but like. it's obx we know it isn't good LMFAOO. it's part of the charm

i definitely don't like it more than s1, but i did still like it a lot. i LOVED how pope centric it was, like he fr had such main character energy this season and it was wonderful. even though the storyline was weird and didn't make sense jd did so well lolol he did so wonderfully. i loved seeing pope get the attention he deserves this season.

JJPOPE MOMENTS. i was definitely sad they didn't have an arc to themselves like they did season 1, but oh my god jd and rudy FED US with jjpope improv moments this season. the NECK KISS? the WRESTLING? every single one of their hugs?????? they're insane. it sucked that they really didn't have any scenes alone but we take what we can get.

SPEAKING OF GAYS LET'S TALK ABOUT RAFEBARRY. because?? oh my god??? first season it was like a crack ship and then season 2 came out and... what are we supposed to do ignore it? they are literally??? gay????? it's jarring they're insane. i am so so invested in them it's kind of unreal how deep i got into this ship in such a short amount of time (follow @rafebarry babies <33)

cleo. i love cleo. the best new thing to come out of this season for sure. clarah is coming strong i can feel it and i am SO ready. i know that they're most likely going to move toward a cleopope romance next season, which i don't hate? i'm bothered only because a) it's obvious it's mostly being done to get pope out of the way for jiara, and b) i think people often push two dark-skinned characters into a ship just because they're both dark-skinned, and that yucks me out. but i will say i really liked their moments together in s2 and i think they could be really good together if they're canon s3 (which they probably will be.)

overall like. it was a fun watch. i retained like 2% of the plot i was just there for the vibes and dopamine high and that was totally fine. i want to take the pogues out of jonas pate’s greedy little white man fingers and give them the character and relationship development they deserve, but we can’t have it all i guess. the cinematography this season i think i liked better than season 1, wasn’t a huge fan of that weird yellow filter tho. also the lighting. obx lighting guys get demoted challenge. umm yeah season 1 supremacy but season 2 had amazing vibes

#jesus clearly i haven't talked about this enough yet #send in other asks if you want i'm absolutely insane #sorry if there's typos i am not reading through this again #if i'm incoherent you'll just have to deal #asks #s2 asks

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anxiouspotatorants · 3 years

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Alright for those who have seen my Mal character analysis post here is part 2. For more context see the intro (and if you, want the whole thing) of said last post. But once again some disclaimers first: I haven’t read the original trilogy and use this to my advantage when analysing Alina based on her show-character alone. I do ship Malina (at least at the writing of this post), so that might influence my interpretation. This is just my opinion, so feel free to disagree. And spoilers for all of season 1 of Shadow and Bone.

Part 2: Alina

Now what I have seen so far when it comes to critiquing Alina, is that her character relies too much on Mal. She mentions him constantly while at the Little Palace, and once reunited with him practically attaches her own hip to his. Some argue that her growth was stunted by their reunion, and that we don’t get to see enough of who she is apart from Mal. And uh, yeah I disagree. It’s not that I find this argument inconceivable, just that after seeing the season twice I don’t really think that opinion holds water. Who is Alina? That is quite literally the mission statement of the season. Alina goes from an outcast cartographer with a small but somewhat reliable group of friends to finding out she’s not only grisha but a special kind of grisha. And from then on she basically has multiple identity crises only to end the season mentally preparing for a new roller coaster of identities. So let me try to map it out.

The power-reveal might happen in episode 1, but we actually find out a lot about who Alina is and was pre-reveal. She’s an orphan and social outcast due to her mixed race status (being half Shu in Ravka is not exactly easy). She’s had one friend throughout her childhood, Mal, and managed to find comradery in her cartographer team. From a young age she has had a talent for drawing, and Ana Kuya encouraged young Alina to direct this skill towards cartography, as this would provide her one of the safer roles in the army, which Alina was doomed to join from the start. As a child she was not popular, but her friendship with Mal shows a girl who was brave, loyal and determined. She was willing to up the stakes to protect her loved one (see: bully scene). As a young woman she still seems to keep that fighting spirit, but has also grown a larger sense of humour. She jokes around with Mal and their friends, but she’s also clearly insecure — repeating her question about Mal’s stories and her decision to hide her jealousy over Zoya suggest as much.

Post-reveal, Alina has to deal with a lot of different people saying a lot of different things about who she is. The grisha soldiers view her as a form of redemption for their people. Her former superiors and First Army soldiers view her as grisha-business. Mal, although Alina never finds out, tries to double down on his pre-established view of Alina until he sees the test. The king makes it clear to Alina that he sees her as a tool to reunite the two Ravkas. And the Darkling tries to create an entirely new narrative for Alina: she’s his other half, his one equal in the world, the one he has been waiting for that will right his his ancestor’s wrongs. Then there’s the Apparat who introduces her to the religious aspect of her powers, and Baghra who first treats her as unworthy of her powers and then as an unready foil to the Darkling. Alina has to navigate a lot of roles at the same time: saint, freak, saviour, tool, rival, enemy, heroine, lover, royal subject, the list goes on. It is through the combined impressions of Baghra and Mal that Alina starts to find herself again. Baghra consistently tries to get Alina to become her own person in harmony with her powers («who are you holding back for?»), but Alina initially twists this pep-talk into shifting her focus from Mal to the Darkling. Once Baghra reveals the Darkling’s true identity and motivations, Alina finally has to make the choice to go out on her own without allies. She outmanouvers the crows and gets in altercations with soldiers before running into the woods and into Mal. Mal’s presence reminds her of who Alina is at her core: an underdog with a lionheart. And the thing is, once reunited with Mal, Alina genuinely starts to change. She isn’t just returning to banter or insecurities or relying on support. She confronts Mal on his assumed silence and pre-established view of grisha. And she doesn’t give up on her new goal and run away with him — she insists on finding the stag, defeating the Darkling and destroying the Fold. She has found her goal and is following it free from the expected roles that have been thrust on her. At the end of the season, Alina might be back to her and Mal against the world, but she is a different woman. She is more confident and more goal-oriented. She has directed her stubborness towards a specific mission, and is preparing to have to battle all the roles that will be thrust upon her in future seasons (see: Zoya’s speech about Alina becoming a martyr before she becomes a saint). Who is Alina? She’s a fighter facing her new bully head on.

But there are two other elements I find important to rant about when it comes to Alina’s season 1 journey. The first is her connection to Mal. The two have been tight since they found each other as children in the orphanage. Alina suppressed her powers unknowingly for years and sabotaged her grisha test out of fear that a positive result would separate her and Mal. She makes it clear in later episodes that this fear of separation is what motivated her actions. But I don’t think it was about just Mal. I think Alina is terrified of being alone. And once Alina is brought to the Little Palace, she has no one. Not Mal, who was denied even a quick goodbye and whos letters are kept away from Alina. Not her cartographer friends, who all died either in the Fold or, in Alexei’s case, alone in a cellar at the hands of Kerch mobsters. She once again faces alienation, not just about her race but her commoner-soldier status, and quickly attaches herself to Genya, who is one of the few to show her kindness. Once she has been made to believe that Mal doesn’t care about her she also gets closer to the Darkling and recenters her world from around one man to the other. She feels pressure to perform as is expected of her to gain acceptance from what she now has to assume is her new home. Alina attaches herself to whoever seems decent enough because it is safer than being alone, especially in a world like the one she lives in. When it is then revealed that the Darkling has manipulated her the whole time, Alina starts to question everything again and journeys out on her own for possibly the first time. It is Mal who tracks her down and helps her out of a predicament, thus providing safe harbour for Alina again. Alina doesn’t just run back to him and regress as a character. As written above, her journey to episode 6 has impacted her to the point where her and Mal’s relationship changes too. The casually joking tone they used to have is much more subdued, and the two have to confront and open up to each other about revelations and feelings. They apologize to each other and show compassion. This isn’t a giant leap from their relationship pre-power reveal, but it still stands in contrast to their tense silences and evasions in episode 1. To put it this way: they bullshit each other a lot less now. And what is important to note is that Alina reunites with Mal for a reason. As implied by the last paragraph, a lot of people have a lot of expectations for Alina. Mal is (as many have pointed out before me) the one person who always sees her as a person instead of a concept. Where others see a saint or a weapon, he sees his friend. Where others see a threat or an unworthy vessel, he sees a girl who stands up to bullies and protects her loved ones. Alina and Mal bring out each others’ humanity, and that is a crucial thing to have in a world that sees them as inhuman: whether as prophetic legends on pedestals or anonymous cannon fodder.

The other point I want to bring up is that I think Alina has a second mission in season 1: navigating who to trust. We know that in the beginning the ones she trusts are Mal and the cartographers. Once in the Little Palace, she starts out by putting knives under pillows and only revealing emotional vulnerability in private. But she quickly starts to place her trust in others. She considers Genya a friend, the Darkling an ally who could be something more, and Marie, Nadia, Ivan and Fedyor as companions. She even becomes receptive to the Apparat from his lesson about Morozova. On the flip side she has an understandable feud with Zoya, and an equally understandable hot-and-cold relationship to Baghra. By the end of the season, Marie is dead and Nadia and Fedyor are nowhere to be seen. Meanwhile the Darkling is revealed as the true villain with Ivan as his underling and Genya his spy. Even The Apparat is implied to become a future enemy. Baghra and Zoya, on the other hand, have proven themselves to be more helpful to Alina — Baghra by exposing the Darkling, and Zoya by turning against him and helping Alina in the final Fold battle. And those Kerch crows who attempted to kidnap her ended up playing just as important a role in her rescue and in letting her go to continue her journey freely. Alina has spent the season learning that people really are not what they seem. Those who call themselves friends of you could be locking you in a cage, and those who wished you harm could turn out to have morals and redeem themselves. And Mal has an entire trust-arc for Alina of his own: he goes from her one friend to someone she thinks has left her behind, only to return and prove his loyalty and how worthy he is of her trust. I think this theme is something that will follow Alina in the next season, especially since she and Mal will be more vulnerable than before. She’ll need to learn when to keep her guard up and who is worthy of her softness.

So yeah, if I haven’t made myself clear enough I think Alina has a massive arc this season and that Mal doesn’t hinder this arc but rather is a reflection of it. Mal doesn’t regress her character, but rather reminds her who she is in opposition to who she is expected and told to be. And being a protagonist who interacts with a lot of characters, she is set up to have just as much of a journey (if not a bigger one) in future seasons. Is Mal going to be part of that? Probably. But he will continue to function as someone holding a mirror up to Alina reminding her of who she is. And Alina will continue to grow and deal with conflict as any protagonist should.

#I had a lot more to say about her than I expected #but I don't mind #but yeah just because this is a fantasy romance story and relationships are a big part of the story #it doesn't mean that Alina is less developed as a character #big shock: relationships can actually say something about a character and help build growth #can’t believe I called Jesper Kaz and Inej ’those Kerch crows’#alina starkov #shadow and bone #shadow and bone spoilers #sab spoilers #malina #alina x mal

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professionalagentofchaos · 3 years

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So Sk8 the Infinity!

I'm going to complain and over analyze stuff in this post. Also, spoiler warning.

So I love Sk8. Absolute beauty. Mwah. However...

A second season is not out of the question, so here are some things I want to see in the new season, because the season 1 ending... it was really unfufilling.

Final spoiler warning.

-Let Shadow get the girl.

He was developing an obvious crush on her since day one, and seeing her end up in a relationship, right as Shadow plucked up enough courage to talk to her really bothered me.

-Let Miya get his friends back.

If there's a season two, this just has to happen. He definately grew as a person thanks to Reki, so he deserves to have a second chance. This is also coupled with the scene in the final credits when his old friend passed him, and said something that made Miya smile.

-Keep the rivalry between Joe and Cherry

Honestly, their petty rivaly is among the best parts of the anime. It showed no signs of stopping, and the ship was strong. Personally, I don't think Matchablossom will be canon, but wow I love the ship.

-Slow down Langa's attention and arc

There's no way to say this gently. Langa's ark went way too fast. In a matter of episodes, he was already a near pro a skating. Even if he did snowboard, it just seems unrealistic. If there's a season 2, I want to see Langa struggle a bit more. He also got way too much attention for a guy who's not the mc. The anime was basically all about him might as well make him the mc.

-Give Reki more attention and arc.

I love him with all my heart, but he was a really static character. Sure, he went through a depression phase, but he ended up right back where he started. In multiple ways. He came back to the happy, bubbly, and enthusiastic Reki we all know and love, but he also never gained any visible skill. He learned a few tricks, and that. was it. He's supposed to be the main character, but if I jumped in mid season, I could have easily mistaken Langa for that role. He easily beat all his opponents, got more camera time, and improved with little effort. Reki is supposed to be the main character. At the beginning, I was kind of happy that Reki never won. I showed that protagonists don't have to be prodigy gods at everything they specialize in. But then, over an ENTIRE SEASON, he didn't win one. He got better, moving from struggling to keep up with Shadow to almost winning against ADAM, but there were special circumstances to aid in that achievement. But his improvement was almost invisible. I didn't even realize it until I started to over analyze the anime (as I normally do).

-ADAM dies lonely in a trashcan under a bridge.

Fuck ADAM

-Let Tadashi live his own life!

He may have like ADAM, both in the past and maybe even the present, but ADAM calls him his dog, and won't let him step out of line. Sure he gives him freedom, but that will only get you so far.

And last but not least

-RENGA

All in all, I love the anime, have become obsessed with the sun in human form that is Reki, and would murder Bone Studios if they even thought about taking it down.

But for season two, I would want there to be a big bad skater guy who comes rolling in, and when Langa and ADAM challenge him, they get obliterated. Langa gets hurt, and Reki, pretty mad, reverts back to their old problem of wanting to beat the person who hurt the other. But Reki knows Langa will disagree, just how he didn't want Langa to go up against ADAM, so he secretly plans to challenge him, and practices every waking moment he can so he can stand a chance against this new guy, even going as far as to miss some 'S' nights. Langa, however is just confused about why he got destroyed, and his injury stopping him from skating coupled with not thinking he needs to practice or improve, he just doesn't. Meanwhile, Miya is spending more time skating with his old friends just for fun and not bothering to improve, Shadow is trying to figure out who this guy is that's with his manager, and finds out he's just using her, so he goes on his own quest to get them to break up or show her proof that he's toxic, and Cherry and Joe are just arguing in the background, maybe throw in some financial dilemmas as well, like an episode or two. Building on financial problems, I want ADAM's family cred to go down the drain, not because of 'S', nononono, no one's touching 'S', but for different reasons. Tadashi reaches down to his inner friend and gives him support. Miya introduces his friends to 'S'. Anyways, Reki challenges the new guy, and people laugh because Reki is kinda known for being the less skilled one who hangs out with the big 6 (which is a thing that happened after the tournament), so yeah, Reki races him, beats him by literally an inch without using anything to disadvantage the guy. Langa is so freakin' excited that he tackle hugs him and pulls a Yuri! On Ice and kisses him in doing so. Season ends with , Miya goes on to the national team because his friends (both groups) encourage him to so as long as he kept doing it for fun, Shadow gets the dick away from his manager and he gets with her, Cherry and Joe staying single (but one day Cherry adopts a child and she calls both men a variant of 'dad' but the two legally aren't married, or even dating?), and ADAM, I guess he can open a small shop. Tadashi does most of the work though. He's basically ADAM's boss. I guess ADAM can have some happiness. AND FINALLY Langa and Reki get together .(Ms Hasegawa is in literal tears because not only did her baby get a friend but a boyfriend too!)

And that concludes my post about Sk8.

If you for some reason didn't watch it and scrolled all the way down here (doesn't matter if you read it or not, but there's a continue reading button...), then

Watch.

The.

Freaking.

Anime.

Pirate it if ya gotta! But watch it!

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kinetic-elaboration · 3 years

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August 15: 2x03 The Paradise Syndrome

I have seen this episode once before and I remember it being pretty awful... but tbh, I didn’t think it was so bad this time around. Maybe that’s just because my expectations were, like, Spock’s-Brain low. It definitely had issues but there was stuff I liked too!

Hmmm, that’s not the bridge. It appears to be... California?

Wondering what people might be so “blessed by this environment”--what a manly he-man action/adventure guy thing to say, amirite?

How does Spock know the significant markers of all the Native American tribes at a distance, off the top of his head?

(Answer: he doesn’t; all of this information is wrong and also one of those tribes is completely made up lmao.)

Honestly, who’s to say these people aren’t advanced? How do YOU know?

“Just so peaceful... no command decisions.” Oh no, Jim’s feeling Romantic again.

Honestly, imagine this characterization in AOS: overworked starship captain think he wants a break (but is wrong). Beyond made a vague attempt but missed what it is that Kirk finds stressful about command--it’s not that it’s boring, it’s the weight of the responsibility and the inability to find love.

Although funnily enough, even on his Native American Vacation, he still finds himself in a command position. He just can’t be stopped. Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself.

Oh no, the obelisk ate him.

Maybe these people specifically built the obelisk so that they could return to this idyllic ““primitive”“ state, hmm? Maybe they like their lives this way. Maybe they experienced "progress" and then decided that whatever era of their development looked like indigenous American peoples had it right. (This is not correct but it roughly is the plot of Errand of Mercy so I’m not without precedent.)

Spock’s using simple tools to explain his point to Bones lol. “Here, let me dumb it down for you, lesser man of science.”

“Who am I? What are these?” Cpine morning voice: “This must be a dream!”

Kirk looks so confused. The god from the obelisk.

“The engines are showing signs of stress.” Seems to me like SCOTTY’S showing signs of stress.

And yet the music is so whimsical.

Honestly Kirk’s expression here = Denny Crane’s when in a meeting

White man brings CPR, is hailed as god. (I wish I were making this up.)

Damn, Salish has been demoted. How embarrassing for him.

This is a VERY interesting Spock. He does all his calculations, but the he takes all the risks. He’s very certain and single-minded, almost obsessed, not afraid of anything. I think it’s IC but I also think you can see some Kirk influence, perhaps... You can see how Spock has grown in his command abilities since The Galileo Seven.

The wise ones = the aliens.

“He died before he could tell Salish the secret” to opening the Obelisk and stopping the asteroid. That IS unfortunate.

“How does this shirt open?” Lol.

“Your name is Kirok?” “Yeah, sure, whatever.”

“I’ve never been this happy and peaceful.” Funny how he looks neither happy nor peaceful. Maybe it’s something like “I’ve never been this happy and peaceful...and I don’t like it.” Or “I’ve never been this happy and peaceful... there must be something wrong.”

“Here there is much time. For everything.” No there isn’t, there’s an asteroid coming.

Kirk’s cottage core fantasy.

Poor Scotty, so stressed out. Maybe he needs some time with the indigenous aliens.

The Joining Day? Lol okay.

Kirk has no chill, at all. “Oh, you want to get married? Tomorrow? Okay!!” Is this how Gary was able to successfully distract with him the blonde lab technician?

The “stardrive.”

“Estimated repair time?” “FOREVER.”

“And you lost Jim.” Cool it Bones, there’s no need to be cruel. Spock’s already in his thinking pose so you know he’s taking this seriously.

Love Spock’s chair. That’s not Starfleet regulation.

“I have found paradise.” Is he high??

Requisite highly choreographed fight scene.

“You’ve barely eaten or slept for weeks.” That’s because he’s worried about Jim. And the giant asteroid. This is a great Spock and McCoy scene though.

I can’t believe this. Spock lies down (barely!) and McCoy just leaves like he actually thinks he’s won, and then Spock immediately gets up again to go back to work.This guy is even easier to fool than Sarek.

You know Spock spent his whole adolescence going "Sure, I'll do the thing" and then just not doing it.

“A strange lodge that moves through the sky...” Well okay.

Okay I’m sorry, is he sensing the enterprise or is he sensing SPOCK? Because most of this dialogue might just imply he’s generically remembering his old life... but he also specifically says that the “flying lodge” was farther away and now it’s closer again, and how he could he know that otherwise?

She’s pregnant? That’s not good lol. AWKWARD.

Also the closest that TOS will ever come to acknowledging people have sex.

Omg he made a lamp. He made a lamp on his first day there. Does this imply that Captain Kirk had an arts and crafts phase?? Like CPR I understand him knowing--I’m sure everyone in Starfleet does. But hand-carving a lamp? That’s a whole other skill.

Various cultures including “certain Vulcan offshoots” use music notes as words omgggggg I love this information PLEASE tell me more.

“The Preservers” is a good concept imo. Nifty sci fi innovation: taking aliens from endangered places and giving them a new place, then setting it up nicely for them.

Stop throwing things guys! It’s not helping!

“I need Nurse Chapel.” Damn right you do.

Spock really doesn’t like that “wife.” He sounds like “Wife?? How dare??”

Then he suggests it’s a hallucination even though there’s a woman right there.

"Naturally, since he did not come from there. He's my man, get your paws off him."

Vulcan mind fusion? What the heck is that? How is it season 3 and they still don’t know what to call it?

“He is an extremely dynamic individual.” Spock was really taken for a ride in that brain.

“The landing party is expendable.” There’s the Captain.

“I have an excellent eye for musical notes.” Brag.

“Just press the right button.”

Looks like Spock was the god they wanted all along.

Okay, that was an uncool ending though. I know they basically had to kill Miramanee as soon as she was pregnant but like, there was also no reason for her to be pregnant??? I would have preferred if (1) Miramanee hadn't been pregnant, (2) Jim got over her as soon as he regained his memory and (3) she lived and they just parted awkwardly.

Also I think it would have been nice if they had ended with the Enterprise explaining to Salish how the obelisk works, and then maybe even a hint that he and Miramanee will get back together. Like, maybe not that, since I’m not a fan of women just being used to, like, make men feel better--though I’m also not a fan of them being fridged because of Inconvenient Baby--but he should have at least gotten his position back and, more importantly, the knowledge he was always entitled to. Also, the very existence of an asteroid deflector, along with the people’s extensive knowledge of what weather signifies Oncoming Asteroid, implies this happens to them with some frequency. So in other words, the threat will return.

Plus Salish never got enough credit for being right, which he was! The whole time!

Oh and also I would have liked some acknowledgement that Jim does like being Captain. If you watch the whole show, you know that he occasionally bemoans the stress and his inability to maintain a romantic relationship, despite his love of long walks on the beach, but that he’s also ambitious, he loves exploration and adventure, he gets bored if left in one place too long, and he believes in the necessity of progress and discovery to keep not just individuals but societies from stagnation. But if you just watched this episode, you’d think he’d never been happy in his entire life, and that returning to command makes him miserable.

Aside from the Native American stuff--which was awkward and rather unnecessary and has aged, as you might imagine, very very poorly--I actually didn’t hate the episode. It had some VERY interesting Spock stuff, which I think is within a reasonable Spock characterization, and some great Spock and Bones moments. Kirk’s story line was surprisingly engaging for him being completely separate from the crew, and the general theme that he sometimes needs, or thinks he desires, a break from command, is definitely in keeping with other episodes. I liked the asteroid as the Big Danger, which was surprisingly dynamic--by which I mean, it did a good job of connecting the very disparate story lines on the Enterprise and on the planet. I also liked the Sci Fi Concept of the week in the Protectors. And it was interesting to see an ep take place over a longer period of time.

None of this is to downplay how awkward the Native American elements are--incredibly fetishistic, and also lazy--like, “I want to show something Simple and Idyllic...I know! Indians!” There was no reason they should look like American Indians. In fact, it makes no sense that they do: the Protectors take peoples from planets that are about to be destroyed and (somehow) discreetly move them somewhere else, but Native American peoples still.... very much exist? And so does Earth as a whole. So obviously these aliens weren’t transplanted from Earth. So why should their culture resemble some awkward mishmash of Native American cultures?

So overall I’d say, the ideas of the episode, the structure, the characterizations (mostly), and the overall ideas were good, but it was just very awkward and unfortunate that it chose the... aesthetic that it did--especially because it was very much an aesthetic choice and not a well-thought-out, culturally sensitive one. Gonna be honest and just chalk that up to it being 1968 though.

Next is And the Children Shall Lead, which I actually think was one of the first TOS eps I ever saw... But I don’t remember it at all. So we’ll see!

#the year 2021 #2021: star trek #star trek tos #2021: fandom thoughts

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aoifeanamadan · 4 years

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After School Special

Fandom: Minecraft YouTube rpf (mcyt)

Word count: 6488

Relationship: DreamNotFound (DreamxGeorgeNotFound)

Summary:

Montague versus Capulet, Taylor versus Katy, Dream versus George.

It was one of those fueds, the kind you barely even had to acknowledge. The sky is blue, we breathe air, Dream hated George.

Needless to say, neither of them were over the moon when they found out they had to spend two months working together in weekend detention.

Support this work on AO3 :)

Chapter Four: Hat Trick

Dream didn’t think texting George was meant to be this exciting. He didn’t think texting any of his friends was meant to be exciting point-blank . Not in the way texting George was. Every time his phone buzzed he was rushing to grab it, always on guard, always waiting. He had spent years calling his friends stupid for the way their faces lit up reading their phones. Now he was worse than all of them. But, it was different. This was George. And texting George was fun.

Dream was certain now that he was definitely funny. And he was smart, in the hard kind of way. He was unpredictable. Dream never knew what was coming. And he was nice to talk to. Every message sent, every message received, Dream felt them growing closer.

So, yeah, maybe his eyes were constantly scouring his phone screen. But he had a good reason. He was talking to George.

George, who said he didn’t normally talk to be people through the phone. He called it a handicapped form of communication, just as George-like as ever. Dream had forgotten to make fun of him for it, mind too busy with ‘ He doesn’t normally talk to people over the phone. He talks to you over the phone’. It meant he was special.

George (2:20 am)

i dont want to annoy you lol

Dream (2:20 am)

if you sending me memes at fuck o clock in the morning was annoying me i wouldn’t have kept sending them back

George didn’t read the message for a full minute. Staring at the tiny symbol, showing his message was unopened, Dream couldn’t bring himself to feel pathetic. In the back of his mind he thought he should, but the rest of him was buzzing. Every cell was humming with a new kind of want. He wanted to know what George thought, hear how he felt. It was overwhelming. There was no room left for shame.

George (2:23 am)

i dont want to keep you up

Dont you have that match tomorrow

Dream did. It was against ‘ Saint Joseph’s Preparatory Institute ’ a private school just half an hour away from Dream and George’s school. The kids there were spoiled in ways Dream found difficult to understand, summer homes in Italy and money thrown away on nights out in the city. The person Dream thought Geoge had been just two weeks ago was nothing compared to the Saint Joseph boys. It was as if all of them wanted to play God, a family of clashing entitled titans, a Grecian mess.

Dream was certain if anyone on his team brushed against one of their arms they’d be on the floor, crying for the referee. It was the first match of the season, only a challenge, but he had been preparing his boys for almost three weeks to make sure they didn’t give away any fouls. Even if it didn’t affect their standing in the league it would affect team morale. It was important. He wanted to win, just like he always did.

But, that night, Dream couldn’t have cared less. The match, less than 24 hours away, was pushed to the back of his brain. His entire frontal lobe was taken up with George’s words, glaring brightly up at him from his screen, awaiting Dream’s reply.

Dream (2:24 am)

ur coming right?

Dream hit send, he always did. He was a full-send person down to the bone. For him, it was easy. He did everything with complete confidence, full fucking send. He couldn't imagine it any other way, not when everyone was hanging off his every word. Shame was foreign to him.

But, the second he hit the arrow on that message, something foreign happened. His stomach knotted itself, his heart sped up. His eyes glued themselves to the screen, trapping him in the silence of his bedroom, waiting for any kind of reply. Dream didn’t understand why he cared so much about a stupid message.

No matter how hard he tried to tell himself to calm down, it didn’t work. His mind couldn’t be reasoned with. Logic was out the window, replaced with the thought of George standing on the sidelines while Dream scored a winning goal. His heart was in palpitations for an agonising 40 seconds. George’s message was the first morsel of food in a year to Dream’s hungry eyes.

George (2:24 am)

do you want me to

Dream was typing a response before he could think. He didn’t need to think.

Dream (2:24 am)

yes

It wasn’t until he sent it that he realised how it could be read. Desperate. It was overwhelming, this new way of thinking. Dream had never considered how other people might read his texts. His mind never had the time to consider how he was perceived, always racing away from him. This new thing, it was dwelling. Dream hadn’t dwelled before.

George (2:25 am)

okay

ill go then

everyone knows i love to spend my saturday evenings outside in the cold

Dream didn’t mean to grin the way that he did when he read the reply. He didn’t even notice the smile snaking its way onto his. He had never smiled at someone's texts before.

George (2:26 am)

what time

Dream didn’t mean to lie. But he did accidentally tell George to be there an hour early so they had more time, away from the pressure of his role as captain. By accident . He felt justified in his deceit, his new constant urge to make George his friend was enough to allow it. He wanted to be around him, talking and laughing, bickering and disagreeing and teasing. He wanted all of it, the before and after of the years of resentment. The new growing fondness that Dream was trying his best to ignore.

Above all, he wanted to be liked by George. He wanted the reassurance of his approval.

If George, who had hated him for years, who had been on the receiving end of his cold stares and scoffs, could like him then it would be sure. Dream could be certain that he was a good person.

They kept texting until George sent his death sentence, in the form of a digital message.

George (2:31 am)

go to sleep

And that was that. George’s status switched to inactive and Dream was left staring at the tiny dot where his green light used to be, the Daisy to his Gatsby.

Dream (2:31 am)

george

georgie

Dream forced himself to turn off his phone, it felt as if he was cutting off a hand. Giving up the hope of hearing anything more from George that night and accepting the isolation. But he could do it, almost happily, comforted by the knowledge he would see George the next day.

He recentered his weight and let his head sink into his pillow. It smelled old. Not bad, but old. Dream couldn’t stop himself from smiling, sad and gentle. He held his phone to his chest and squeezed. The metal didn’t move but his fingers ached with the force.

In the back of his mind, Dream realised it was dangerous. This smiling, this thing burrowing itself into his heart. But he couldn’t stop himself. He let himself imagine a world where he knew George fully, recognised every part of him as George. A jigsaw in the shape of a man where Dream knew the place of each part as if it were the back of his hand. It was a different kind of friendship than what Dream had known. He wanted to understand him, to uncover all the secrets he was holding so close to his chest. It felt as if knowing George was inevitable. And he wanted George to do the same to him, to see all of him and like it. To prove he could be known in full and still seen as himself, still Dream. Still human.

Dream didn’t feel himself falling asleep but he didn’t wake up until 3 in the afternoon, his phone still lying over his heart.

Sapnap collected him before George, so he had time to explain his misleading statement before George got in the truck clueless at half four in the afternoon, three hours before the match started.

George understood what had happened once they arrived at the empty pitch. Dream was thankful he had briefed Sapnap before their arrival, because without Sapnap there he was convinced he would have ended up in a morgue.

Once George had accepted and made peace with the situation, that is to say 95 minutes and multiple very stern telling offs later, Dream and Sapnap decided the only natural thing to do was warm up an hour early.

With a ball from Sapnap’s truck, they started to pass gently to each other. George only managed to claim he couldn’t play for 10 minutes before Dream and Sapnap convinced him to join in.

Dream had been sure George was exaggerating his incompatibility with the sport. Fundamentally, it was just kicking a ball. But Dream was very wrong. Dream tried to tip him the ball, a gentle touch, but somehow George still fumbled it. He managed to stand on the ball three times before kicking it past Sapnap.

They spend half an hour trying to explain the basics of soccer to an increasingly annoyed George, who thanked God when the real team started to trickle in. It meant he was released from the seventh circle of hell - soccer drills

Dream went through the motions of his pre-match routine; the warm-up and laughter and tieing of boots. The coach, their chemistry teacher, arrived ten minutes before the match started. Dream gave a particularly rousing speech and then suddenly they were in the tunnel, waiting for the referee to call them onto the field.

Normally, the time in the tunnel made any other time spent on the field feel tiny, irrelevant. It was a place that didn’t obey the laws of time. Four seconds in the tunnel made a month on the field feel like maybe ten minutes.

That day, Dream had spent three hours on the field before the match. Normally, the tunnel would have made that feel like a millisecond. A blip.

But, Dream could recall the hours spent easily. He barely had to think before George yelling at him and Sapnap rushed to mind. George trying to score a goal from the penalty line, with no goalie, and somehow hitting the crossbar . George’s sigh of relief when he saw one of the players approaching to relieve him of his place in the drill. It was all cased in amber in Dream’s brain. It was proof that he had prepared for this match. There was a time before it and there would be a time after.

Standing on the tunnel, waiting to be called out to play the first match of the year, Dream was calm.

Before he could think too deeply, Sapnap turned to Dream. His eyes were almost pleading. He grabbed ream by the shoulders and tried to look deep into his soul.

“Promise me that you won't start any fights this time.” Dream couldn’t stop the laugh that escaped him. He rolled his eyes good-naturedly. He never started fights, but he replied anyway to put Sapnap at ease.

“I promise I won’t start any fights.” Sapnap breathed a sigh of relief, ever the drama queen.

“Thank you.” Sapnap turned to head to the team huddle, everyone waiting for Dream’s final good luck. Before Sapnap could walk away Dream grinned, lopsided and hyper.

“I will finish them though.”

Dream was walking out before Sapnap could protest, the team behind him. Dream didn’t want to prolong their wait any longer. They knew what he was going to say, and he knew they didn't need to hear it. The atmosphere changed the second the crowd could see them

Oakland had walked out stiff and straight-backed. Proper as always. Beside them, Dream and his team’s causal jogs and crowd-pleasing waves were even more charming. Dream allowed himself a moment to revel in the cheers before locking his eyes on the ball.

Once he adjusted to the floodlights, Dream’s eyes raked over the crowds until they locked on George, leaning on the low fence. He shot him his lopsided grin and waved. He was charm personified. The crowd’s heads swivelled in search of the recipient, but no one looked at George smiling as he rolled his eyes.

Once the whistle was blown, the team came alive. The state champions ran circles around Oakwood. Dream was two-thirds of the way to his aspired hat trick by half time, with the total score at 4 - nil. Their team worked seamlessly together, everyone exactly where they needed to be. It was like watching a well-oiled machine, or embroidery at super speed.

Dream and Sapnap were shining through, their natural chemistry turned to telepathy on the soccer field. It was as if the ball was a piece of metal and they were the magnets. It stuck to them, gravitated to their feet.

By the second half, Oakwood were angry. It showed in their game. They started to slip up, losing easy balls. Their footwork got sloppy. But they also got more aggressive. Somehow, the referee was turning a blind eye to every misplaced kick and accidental shove in the back. But, Dream had trained everyone for this. They stayed calm, took their deep deep breaths and played fair.

Oakwood did not take the same approach. The more time they spent on the field, the rougher they played. Dream had cycled through six of the ten substitutes by the time the second half rolled around. He was convinced the referee had optional cataracts.

With twenty minutes left, Dream’s team were 3 goals up - the only three goals of the match. But, Dream was still a goal away from his hat trick, and he was getting tired.

The rest of the team was playing defence, just like Dream had told them to do during training. He had said it would be stupid to go for glory in this situation, three goals up and approaching the end of the match. It would be plain dumb.

Dream knew all this, thought about it even. He knew it was right, but he saw an Oakland striker, who he was not supposed to be marking, running up the field. He didn’t have the ball, it was on the opposite end of the pitch, but Dream could see it in his mind’s eye. Two easy, unlikely passes and it would be at the striker’s open feet.

There were other boys closer to him, it would’ve made more sense for them to run to mark him. It would have been easy. But Dream couldn’t stop thinking of the one goal he needed for a hat trick.

Aching feet and heaving lungs Dream ran towards him. The striker saw him coming from a mile off.

His leg connected with Dream’s, and suddenly Dream was on the floor clutching his shin.

At first, there was no feeling. Then, just as suddenly as the air had left Dream’s lungs when he hit the floor, there was intense pain.

Dream looked down at his leg, curled up on the floor. He couldn’t hear the referee’s whistle blowing. But he could see the blood.

Before he could make a scene, he was pushing himself up unto his feet. The Oakwood striker didn’t offer him a hand up.

Dream was sent off to the sidelines, limping with an arm around Sapnap’s shoulder. Someone’s mother was a nurse. She assured him it was just a surface wound. Dream saw his parents in the stand, he hadn’t noticed them before. He would’ve waved weakly, or shot them a thumbs up, but he couldn’t focus on them. His mind was racing through anger and pain and anger again.

From the bench, Dream nodded to Sapnap to take the penalty. It wasn’t a question.

He had to sit the final fifteen minutes out, screaming from the bench. The only benefit was George’s spot in the crowd behind him was right behind the bench. He was sitting with his friends, making sarcastic comments about Oakwood. It was nice to listen to, distracting.

With Oakwood playing a man down, the team won 4 - 0.

After the obligatory post-win speech, Dream enjoyed a long warm shower in the changing rooms. It was a scarce rarity for him, only his third long shower in the changing block in four years.

After, Dream was alone in the dressing room, all aching muscles and sore lungs. He was sitting on the bench, legs shaking with the exhaustion of it all. His hair was wet and his shoulders were slumped. There was a low humming echoing off the concrete walls. Dream barely noticed it. He had screwed his eyes tightly shut and had his head hanging between his shoulders. He was waiting there until it was firmly ten minutes since anyone had left, just like he always did. And he was humming, which he did not always do.

It was coming from the base of his throat. The tune of ‘Call Me Maybe’ was raspy, hidden under his breath. But it was there, soft and delicate. The rise and fall, the soft lilts. It made the cold of air of the changing room warmer, familiar. He didn’t think about it, didn’t imagine he would be heard. He just sat there, hair dripping and voice humming. It was tender and charged, too patient.

Hey, I just met you,

And this is crazy,

“Well done, you. You did great” George’s voice came from the doorway, distant and delicate. It shattered Dream’s bubble of gentle calm.

Dream’s brain froze. It caught him off guard, disarmed him. The softness of George’s tone. Too genuine. Before he could unfreeze his mind to think about it, George was talking again.

“Except when you fell. That was embarrassing.”

Dream lifted his head from the wall and cracked open his eyes. George was smiling softly at him. It made Dream feel as if he was bending back his ribs one by one to get a closer look at his panting heart. He couldn’t quite bring himself to stand.

“Brave words Mr Speed Chess.” This was easy, this was Dream and George. Sharp banter and too intense bickering. It was easier than the alternative, the thing Dream wanted once the sun went down. The symbiotic vulnerability.

Dream realised just how tired he really was, listening to his own fragile voice. He was sure George had to have noticed it too. He was sure his smile was too soft, his words too tender to be teasing.

He didn’t know what it was, this new wall he was building. This refusal to let George see him vulnerable. Dream tried to rationalise, call to mind the years of hatred and distrust. It didn’t work, he was met with the hours he and George had spent laughing, the simple rhythm they had so quickly fallen into. George’s quiet jokes, Dream’s beaming grin. There was no reason for this guard Dream was invoking. Yet still, he couldn’t stop it. The hand always hovering over his mouth, ready to slap it closed.

Sapnap was coming in behind George before Dream could leave himself exposed.

“I swear to God, whenever I see you two together it’s like I get to watch a chihuahua provoke a wolfhound." Sapnap was next to George in the doorway, grinning. Dream smiled back, heaving himself up off the bench. Dream wasn’t sure if he was meant to be the chihuahua or wolfhound.

“Fuck off, Sapnap.” He muttered it at the same time as George, shouldering his way past them towards Sapnap’s truck.

“You two are the closest thing I have to a real-life soap opera!” Sapnap was calling out as he followed behind. Despite his best efforts, Dream smiled.

Once the three of them were in the truck, they could really talk. Sapnap and Dream were trying to convince George to come to a party at one of the player’s houses in place of their normal bickering. It was only right to celebrate the win, but George was insisting he couldn’t go.

Dream and Sapnap had matching that’s bullshit looks on their faces,

Through a mix of begging and empty threats, they managed to get George to agree to come inside, just to congratulate the team.

He stuck to his word, entering, finding the team all together in the front room and saying a single ‘Great Game’. Then, he turned on his heel and made his way to the front door with his head down. Sapnap and Dream rushed after him.

By the time they caught up, his hand was on the doorknob. But, before he pulled it, he was turning his head to the space on his left. Dream and Sapnap were still standing in the doorway to his right.

“Bad?” Bad’s face lit up as he abandoned his conversation to turn towards George.

“George!” He ran to hug a laughing George.

“Since when were you the partying type?”

“Since when were you?”

Dream and Sapnap couldn’t believe they had forgotten to tell him Bad would be there.

Twenty minutes in, George was on his fifth shot. Dream and Sapnap looked like Christmas had come early. Bad looked like a concerned father spotting his child in the boxing ring with Muhammad Ali.

“George, oh my God! What are you doing?” George was drinking straight from the vodka bottle while Sapnap and George watched.

George kept drinking from the bottle until Bad took it off him.

“It’s been a boring week. I'm about to fix that.” Dream had never seen George like this.

George’s grin was devilish, the kind that would have made Dream’s heart flutter and stomach drop if he was a girl. But he was not a girl. And so he thought nothing of George’s gleaming teeth and impish eyes. Nothing.

One thing Dream realised, an hour into the party, was that George was just as clumsy with his mouth when he was drunk as his limbs when he was sober.

Dream was standing in one of the doorways to the kitchen, talking to a girl. She was nice. She liked swimming and pc gaming, not worlds away from Dream. He figured they could be friends. She left to dance with her friends and Dream left to get himself another drink. George was standing next to the spirits.

“She’s not good for you. She was a dick to my friends last year. Hell, even I would be better for you and you hate me”

He hated the way George made his breath stop with stupid comments like that. Dream gritted his teeth.

“Don’t hate you anymore, Georgie.” His shoulders were stiffer than he wanted them to be.

George grinned back at him and drawled.

“For now, Dreamer.”

That fucking grin, sprawling between his aristocratic cheekbones. And that fucking nickname. He hated the way it made his stomach flip, acrobatic routines in the pit of his stomach. Dreamer, Dreamer, Dreamer . A mantra.

“Are you drunk, George?”

George opened his mouth, ready to deny it, but the cogs of his brain snapped his mouth closed before he could get the words out.

“You know what? Nevermind, you’ll know I’m lying to you anyway.”

Dream didn’t know what it was, the resignation in George’s voice, the gentle familiarity. It made him mad. He made it make him mad, because the alternative was wobbly knees and blushing cheeks. And George didn't have the power to do that to him.

George grabbed his arm, slender fingers gripping strong.

“Come on, let’s dance.” He started to pull him towards the front room, where the speakers were.

“Wait, George, wait,” Dream pulled George back to him gently. He was still clinging to his arm. Dream shrugged him off as softly as he could. His touch felt like hot coals, the way it made Dream’s skin burn. He couldn’t handle it.

“Why?” Dream didn’t like the disappointment painted all over George, stitched on his face and laced through his muscles. He couldn’t hide his emotions the way he normally did. Not here, not drunk and tired looking as if he wanted to beg Dream to dance. Dream had to explain.

“I can’t dance.” George’s face didn’t change.

“Yeah, why?” He was looking up at him expectantly, which had not been the plan.

“What do you- I’m bad at it. I can’t dance.” Dream gestured to his long legs and stretched arms. George’s face lit up, a lightbulb moment. Dream realised, George had thought he couldn’t dance because of his injured shin. He cursed himself internally for not being more dramatic.

“You don’t have to be good at something to do it, Dream. Dancing at parties is fun. It’s like exercise, but for your brain.” George pointed to his two temples with both hands, grinning. Not the plan.

“It’s very literally exercise for your body.” Dream didn’t realise there was a smile on his face.

“Fine, it’s exercise for your soul. Now, come on. Dance with me.”

Dream managed to down a shot while he was dragged out by George, it felt like fire down his raw throat. Before he could say no, George was pulling him to the speakers. Dream didn’t dance, he had never known how to. His limbs were too jerky, arms too awkward. And bad dancing didn’t fit the Dream image , not cool and nonchalant enough.

But George was looking up at him with a messy grin and the speakers were thumping and the bodies around him were thrumming. He tried to justify it to himself, the lights were low, no one would see him, but Dream couldn’t have said no in a million years. Not to George, not there, not then.

It was easy to tell the song was on its outro as Dream and George stumbled in. Dream laughed easily at his accidental win.

“Oh no! There goes that idea. Come on, let’s find Sapnap and Bad.” He went to tug George out, but George tugged him back. It caught Dream off balance, making him stumble after George to keep from falling.

George rolled his eyes, slinking his way to the boy with the aux cord and dragging Dream with him.

“Hey, Toby, what’s up?” George talked to the boy, who he was apparently friendly with. Dream knew he went to their school, but he didn’t know the boy. If George hadn’t just said his name, he would’ve had no idea. He stood awkwardly behind George, unsure whether or not he should introduce himself. He was too caught up in the unfamiliar awkwardness to listen to what they were saying. Before he knew it, George was smiling Toby a thanks and dragging him back into the crowd.

“What was that about?” Dream had to bend down to whis[er into George’s ear. George didn’t reply. He didn’t need to.

The iconic opening of Carly Rae Jepsen's ‘Call Me Maybe’ started to play. Dream couldn’t stop the barking laugh he let out. George smiled so widely Dream was sure his cheeks would rip open.

Dream wasn’t sure if it was the shots, or the crowds or the boy standing open and soft before him, but he felt the hardened rock around his muscles and tendons melt away. He couldn’t dance, but he could sway next to George while Carly Rae Jepsen sang one of her masterpieces.

George was his only salvation from the heaving, living heat of the crowd. His flushed face and ruined hair were all Dream could see. He tried his casual swaying, but George’s energy called for more.

Dream couldn’t help but sing along.

I threw a wish in a well,

I looked at you as it fell.

George was not a great dancer, really he just flailed and hopped. He yelled to the beat and flung his arms about him. Dream had to apologise on his behalf to a girl he had accidentally whacked. She didn’t acknowledge it.

Dream realised, no one there cared. Everyone just wanted to dance. Dream looked to George, laughing and jumping to the mirage of singing violins. It was all so intense, Dream couldn’t resist it.

His thudding, thumping body didn’t quite match George’s plasmic flow. His muses thrashed with the musical pulses, throat raw from the singing. No matter how loud he was, everyone around him was louder.

It felt like indulgence, sweeping slowly over his skin and through his veins. He had to choose to let himself enjoy it.

His dancing was horrible, but George loved it. Dream felt like it was a newfound candour, this allowance. He was bad, he was having fun. There was no contradiction. He could do both.

Where you think you’re going, baby?

Dream’s thudding stomps didn’t match George’s rough edged-grace, but he was there. And he was dancing. It felt like a win. It felt human, more human than Dream had felt in days. In those three minutes, he wasn’t the Dream. He was just another person.

He felt like one cell in the body of a giant, doing the same as everyone around him, but for the first time he liked it. He was doing the same as George, who was jumping offbeat.

But here’s my number, so call me maybe?

Dream’s panting chest felt like it was holding corporal freedom inside it. He thought his heart was about to beat it’s way out of his cell wall chest and soar away.

Before you came into my life, I missed you so bad.

I missed you so, so bad.

Dream couldn’t believe he had ever thought George was restrained and standoffish.

The George Dream had thought he had known for years, detached and reserved, quiet and reclusive; Dream watched in his mind as he died and was replaced with this new man. This new George had an unrelenting mind and thrashing heart. It fit perfectly with Dream’s aching body and delicate soul. There, sweating next to George as he sang his throat raw, Dream was sure George had to be his missing part. His final puzzle piece. If there was an empty cave in Dream he would stretch and chip away at it until it was the perfect size for George to settle in.

As the song ended, Dream tried to sort out his jumbled thoughts. His brain felt like a smoothie. Before he could take an internal inventory, Sapnap was beside him. It was easy to guide a panting Dream and George away from the dance floor and down a quiet hall, muttering about ‘totally unlike you, both of you’.

Dream couldn’t process the moving. He shut his eyes to keep it out, only opening his eyes for sporadic flashes of the house. He knew they were going down a hall together, but it all blended into one.

Sapnap got more and more excited the closer they got to the end of the hall. When he finally opened the last door, he was practically hopping.

Dream’s muddied brain recognised it as some kind of game’s room, like the basement in Sapnap’s old house. There was an easily ignored pool table, and on the pool table was an open bottle.

George got to the bottle first. He offered it to Dream and Sapnap before drinking from it. He coughed and spluttered as it went down.

“Gin.” His grimace was enough to deter them all.

Sapnap found a VR headset, the kind none of them had at home. They had to arm wrestle for it. Sapnap won, through methods involving plain cheating if you asked Dream. He had kicked Dream’s blooded shin ‘accidentally ’ mid-wrestle and refused a rematch. George hadn’t wanted to get involved.

Sapnap got to play on the VR first.

George was a nice drunk to be around. He wasn’t loud or annoying or excitable. He was just George, but less guarded. He thought out loud about the universe and the human condition and why goldfish were called goldfish when they were orange. Dream sat cross-legged in front of him while he spoke, slow and heavy. His brain felt cloudy, but in a nice way. A buffer between Dream and George, and everything else.

George liked to do things wrong. The more he talked about random things, the clearer it became. He ate pasta at breakfast time. He sat on chairs backwards and sideways and even upside down, laying his back on the seat and letting the blood rush to his head. He used his conditioner before his shampoo.

Dream tried to tell him, tried to enlighten him that he was living wrong.

“Well, I’m doing perfectly fine.”

Dream didn’t know how George managed to slip this gentle tenderness into everything he did. He swapped from sitting cross-legged to lying down, sprawling like a starfish. Dream did the same. He could feel their fingers brushing against each other.

Sapnap was immersed in his own digital world, but Dream was sure they were feeling the same thing, total separation from reality It was as if he and George had escaped time. They just lay there on the dirty carpet together, fingertips barely brushing.

“Ow!” The serenity didn’t last long. Sapnap had walked into a wall.

George laughed aloud. “That's going to hurt in the morning.”

Sapnap held up his middle finger, in the wrong direction. The headset was still on.

“It hurts now, idiot.” Dream grinned between them. He wasn’t used to their friendship.

“Well, at least you did your best!” Dream tried to give his positive input from his position on the floor. Sapnap shuddered.

“God, I hope not.” He went into the game again.

Dream turned his body back to the ceiling, but it wasn’t the same. The bubble was popped and he couldn’t stitch it back together.

Instead, he sat up to face George again so they could talk.

Ten minutes later, Sapnap was still alive and thriving in the game, while Dream and George were falling back into the natural rhythm of their conversations.

“Why did you think I hated you?” George’s voice was a rock skimmed on the pond of quiet. Dream was laying back on the couch, eyes again locked on the ceiling. It made it easier, not having to look at George on the other end of the couch. Their feet were tangled together. George was being gentle with Dream’s recovering shin. Dream didn’t think about it before replying.

“Didn’t you?” He didn’t see the gentle shake of George’s head.

“No. If anything, you hated me.” His voice bounced from the ceiling to Dream’s ears. Dream sat up to face him, ceiling tainted.

“No I didn’t. No, I don’t.” It was Dream’s turn now to shake his head. He wanted to lean forward and tell George a hundred times. He didn’t, he doesn’t.

“Okay, Dream.” George hadn’t sat up, still staring at the white ceiling.

Neither of them said anything for a minute. Dream looked at George, George looked up. Dream couldn’t handle the quiet, the noncommitment in George’s voice. He needed to fix it. He spoke into the silence.

“You just, you stopped talking to me. Like, overnight. So, I just thought you hated me.” Dream couldn’t keep looking at him. He tilted his head back, closed his eyes. He wished he hadn’t had that vodka. It was shoving cotton in his mouth and down his throat. There was morphine in his lips, he couldn’t get his words out.

“Yeah. I was anxious. I wasn’t talking to anyone.” George’s gaze was deadset, not on Dream.

“Well, you ignored me. I thought you hated me.” Dream tried to justify himself to George, to rationalise his behaviour at nine years old. George just hummed.

“So all of that, the years of dirty looks and rolling eyes, it was because I hurt your feelings by being too quiet?” George finally looked at him. Dream couldn’t believe he had ever wanted him to. His eyes were cold stone.

“Don’t say it like that.” Dream wanted to look away, but he couldn’t. His voice sounded small. Sapnap still had the headset on, he couldn’t hear them. He wasn’t coming to save him.

“Well, how would you say it, Dream?” George was still staring at him. Dream wanted to sew his eyes shut.

“I-” He looked away, but found himself looking back in George’s eyes before speaking again. “You weren’t just quiet . You ignored me.” It was all too quiet.

“You were too busy for me Dream. I wanted to be your friend, for years. Don’t try and spin this as if I dropped you. You couldn’t deal with me being quiet, with me going through a hard time. You needed my attention, you wanted it, 24/7. You were selfish.”

Dream couldn’t speak. He felt like someone was sucking the air slowly from his lungs and then the last traces of oxygen from his blood. George stood up and it was the final kick.

Sapnap must have sensed the movement, because just then he took off the headset.

“I think I saw some of my friends in another room. I’m going to go and say hi.”

“Hey, we’re your friends.” Dream had no idea how Sapnap knew to make his voice so soft at that moment. He had always had a sixth sense for those things.

“Yeah.” Dream managed to choke the word out.

“Come on Dream. Sometimes I think if you saw me bleeding out on your kitchen floor, you’d act like you hadn’t seen me.” George smiled tightly to Sapnap and left.

Dream let him go. He hated the tightness in his chest, the bitter taste in his mouth. He made himself feel angry in a way he knew he didn’t deserve to be. For the first time in his life, he knew George was right about what had happened. A lot of it had been his fault.

#mcyt #mcyt fic #dnf #dreamnotfound #dreamsmp #dream/george #dreamxgeorge #psa i actually dont ship them i just like creative writing and heat waves made me obsessed with their characters #dream #georgenotfound

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black-streak · 5 years

Text

Saturday night's alright for fighting (but Sundays are meant for rest) - Deprived

Part 13

In case y'all forgot, their entire relationship started with sleeping and cuddles. If you're sick of reading about it, I don't know how you made it this far. Last! Bit! Until the bet's end! Warning, it might take me forever to write part 14. Thoughts are always loved.

Tags!: @emjrabbitwolf @mystery-5-5 @worlds-tiniest-spook-pastry @fandomkitty8 @dast218 @silvergold-swirl @shizukiryuu . @my-name-is-michell @kurogaya913 @elspethshadow @thecatnipmademedoit @shamefullove @ladylucina28 @crazylittlemunchkin @rayray384 @cassiejaydee @yuulxd @ladysblackcat @naclychilli @caffeinetheory @persephonebutkore @fertileleaf @hypnosharkrebeldreamer @weird-pale-blonde-person @st0rmy-w1th1n @littleblue5mcdork @dudet @naoryllis @disneyfoxuniverse @lordsmeldingtonthethird @taoiichii @resignedcatservant @iloontjeboontje @a-fan-fighting-for-equality

~---~

Missing someone starts simple enough. You raincheck a date or have to cancel a few times because life just demanded too much of you that week. Not that big of a deal, especially for a new couple. Surely the attachment and codependency hasn't settled in too heavily yet. Except maybe you're accustomed to seeing them at least four nights and two days every week at minimum even before dating. Perhaps that person helps with your bad habits and the lack of their presence disperses half your impulse control. There's even a chance that your basic human needs get tossed into a shallow grave with no marker because who really needs food and water and sleep? Those are optional right? But really, to skip all the roundabout half speak, it all accumulated into one basic thought, 'I miss Tim.'

...

"Something I should know about?" Robin spoke, not turning towards her where she landed at his side.

"Not allowed to follow my bestie every now and again?"

"Tt. I am well aware that I am not your usual choice of company, Tuemessian. Angel's? Maybe. Not yours."

She hesitated a moment, contemplating teasing only to stop herself. She came to confide in him, not annoy and he had already offered the branch. No need to have it retracted.

"Batman decided to tail Red a few days ago."

"Hmm, Red Robin hasn't been on any particularly difficult cases lately. Why would he need the extra help?"

"Because of me."

"We all know you shadow him. No reason to start getting uppity about it now," he paused for a moment before shooting her an accusatory look, "Something must have changed. And you neglected to inform me."

Heaving a long suffering sigh at Robin's tone, she fell against his side.

"Might've gotten on Batman's bad side. And let him see me. And hung off Red."

"So he's babysitting you now," he realized.

"Pretty much."

"And you came running to me in retaliation so as not to be observed," he observed with an unimpressed scowl.

"I will not be tailed by a man in a glorified onesie. It's demeaning and rude," she sniffed, nose turned up in a perfect imitation of Chloe.

"Suppose I should get used to my new patrol partner then?"

"Until Bats gets his head out of where it doesn't belong anyways," she pouted further, "I'm going to miss Red."

"If you plan to whine about it, I won't stick around to hear it," he threatened.

"Yeah right, you love me too much to just abandon me."

"Don't push it."

…

Two nights later, Jason found Marinette sitting on the roof of the manor, drawing in her sketch pad.

"You know Littlewing is out tonight, right?"

"Yeah."

"Alright sugarcube, what's up? You always follow him on patrol nights," Jason asked, settling behind her and letting her lean back into his chest, taking comfort in the contact, "Unless you're the reason Batsy bitched all of last night?"

"He confronted Tim on why Vixen wasn't following Red Robin anymore. Said that Vixen was his responsibility and he was shirking it."

"And Tim told him to stop supervising his nights out," Jason filled in the blanks, chuckling at the memory, "thought he'd blow a gasket when Tim ignored him after that."

"Red told me he'd let me know when Bruce decided to back off so I could come out again. Followed Robin the last two nights, but it got boring. Taking a night off."

"Yeah, kid's too serious in the suit to be much fun. What you working on up here anyways?"

"New outfit for Kori. Owe her one," she stifled a yawn, concentrating once more on the mechanics of making a crop top that didn't move or lift with your arms up or when turned upside down, without being skin tight.

"And the roof was the best option for this, obviously."

"No distractions up here."

"Or really?"

"Don't even think about it!"

He snagged the sketchbook and took off back through the window and down the hall, laughing when he heard a shriek and the immediate sounds of Mari giving chase.

"Jason get back here with that!"

…

Stephanie dropped into the apartment on a Thursday, taking in the fabric bound chaos of the living area, particularly thick around a work desk that seemingly exploded. Scattered bits of boning, lacing, eyelets, three seam rippers and notably a few chains, sticking out of the disaster. In the center of it all sat a tiny designer with a vicious snarl curling the edge of her lip.

Skipping over, Steph wrapped her hands around and squeezed at the tense shoulders, noticing the concerning lack of reaction.

"Mari, I'm hungry."

"I'll make you something later."

"Hmm, don't think so. I'm calling for pizza. You're joining me and no, work is not allowed during pizza time."

With that, she dragged Marinette off the chair and into the bedroom, both dropping onto the bed as Stephanie made the call, not needing to ask what the other wanted. Marinette didn't bother arguing, which was only more concerning. Steph wondered for a moment if she should call in reinforcement, but ultimately opted out. 'Nah, I got this.'

"Okay, should be here soon," she stated, relaxing into the comforter for a while, letting the other recover from being abruptly yanked out of work mode; read ten minutes of silence before curiosity won out.

"So what are you killing yourself over this time? Oh! Your suit for the next show? You have to let me see it!"

"No no, that was finished a week ago. You can stop by the studio tomorrow to check it out. You're still coming with me, right? I have a dress set aside for you."

"Obviously. I'm your date. However, that doesn't answer what you were getting so pissy with out there?" She teased, peaking at the other from the corner of her eye.

"It's a corset. Like, an actual, structured, hand embroidered, perfectly laced up corset. My hands feel like a crime scene with how much I've torn into them trying to get this right."

"Oh god, those things are so intricate. You're going to be screaming bloody murder by the end, why would you even do that to yourself?"

"... Haven't been sleeping much, figured it'd help get the frustration out."

"You never sleep much. Hence the sleep cuddle club," she pondered the thought a moment before snickering, "you two could make a business out of that if you weren't already swamping yourselves. Cuddle sessions for the sleep deprived and lonely. Oh! I'll go grab the door. I'm stealing your wallet by the way."

Stephanie launched out of the room to the sound of a knocking door and a Mari grumbling about it hardly being stealing when you announce it and the owner doesn't care. Walking back in, she dropped the box between them, yanked the top off and grabbed for the garlic butter sauce they ordered to dip the crusts in.

"You're disgusting."

"And you lack respect for sauce. What else is new?"

"... I've been skipping nap time too," Mari muttered, hoping the other wouldn't hear.

"What do you mean you've been skipping naps? That's like, the only time you two ever sleep! Marinette, you cannot be awake 24/7."

"Pshh, more like 23/6. I crash hard on day 7."

"... That's a whole mood. Might I ask as to why you hate yourself so suddenly?"

"My commissions have gone through the roof with award season coming up, and spring weddings start up immediately after that. I might be clientele only, but my client basis is massive at this point! I don't have time and the few moments I've been free, Tim's been out for the night. And lord knows I don't sleep well alone."

"Uh-huh. And how long has this been going on?" Steph focused on the cheese stringing from her mouth that just would not let go, to give the other a chance to build up to tell the truth without having a guilty stare off.

"Um. About two weeks?" Mari flinched, wishing she were Tuemessian so she could disappear right there.

"So what you're telling me is that you haven't slept more than 12 collective hours, you're overworking yourself to the point of compliance to my antics, and your boyfriend, who's just as much of a sleepless wreck as you are, hasn't dragged you off for your regularly scheduled nap dates. Is that correct?"

"Well yeah. Wait, my boyfriend?"

"Don't even try me, I know you and Tim are a thing. No denying it. It's so damn blatant, it's ridiculous the others seem so oblivious to it," Steph rolled her eyes, daintily wiping her fingers off and grabbing a half empty water bottle off the nightstand to drain. A perfect contradiction of uppity and uncaring that only she seemed to pull off.

Marinette could only blink in surprise for a moment before nodding along, "We didn't plan for this," she murmured, half distracted.

"For what?"

"Nothing," she shook her head to clear the thought, "point is.Yes? I mean, we're just really busy and haven't found time and he knows how important this all is to me and even if he doesn't approve, it's not like he can get away to prevent it. Which would make him a total hypocrite if he called me out on it. Honestly, it's not even that bad, I'm catching up on so much now and I'll get to see him soon I'm sure, just as soon as I get through this season and!"

"That's it! I'm staging an intervention! We're finishing this pizza, cleaning you up and then I'm dropping you off at his apartment where you will sleep. Tomorrow the two of you are not leaving the bed until noon at the earliest. No work, only rest. Understood?"

"Noooo, Stephanniiieee, I'm busy!"

"Are you telling me you don't want snuggles?"

"... No."

"Then quit your bitchin, your arguments are lost on me. Now help me with this before I eat it all, itty bitty."

…

It took maybe fifteen minutes to finish the food and get some water down, another twenty to shower and get coerced into wearing cozy black fleece leggings, lavender tank top, and a soft, deep royal purple cardigan, and finally an extra ten minutes to lock up and make it out of the complex.

While Marinette was locked away in the bathroom, Stephanie called up Tim.

"Tell me you're at home. Or can be back in the next fifteen minutes."

"I just walked in?"

"Perfect, I'm dropping Mari off soon. She's like the walking dead right now and that's coming from the Dead Robins Club VP."

"VP…"

"Duh, Jason's the President. Damian's a recruit. Mari's not allowed to become the newbie. She's not even a Robin, it'd make no sense."

"What about Dick and I?"

"You two never actually died, doesn't count."

"Fair… wait, what's going on with ma loutine?"

"When's the last time you slept properly? Or even napped?"

"..."

"So when do you think she last slept or napped?"

"..."

"We'll be there soon."

…

Marinette found herself dragged up to his apartment, the door opening as she was pushed forward into a warm, familiar chest.

Since being dragged from her work, the lack of self care was slowly catching up to her. She hadn't even bothered to pull her hair out of her face, just letting the freshly blow dried fluff fall were it may. She had a vague idea of how they got here, but either way was grateful to find herself warm and held, even if it was in a doorway with the two talking over her head. She caught only snippets: something about not skipping out on each other anymore and a suggestion about living situations that made the body pressed to hers flush. Eventually the two stopped and Stephanie left. A hand pressed to the side of her face and she looked up to Tim who tilted to rest his forehead on hers.

"Hello sweetheart."

"Mon Somnambule," she smiled, eyes closing automatically.

"Think you're beating me there. When have you last slept?"

"Hypocrite."

"That's not an answer."

Mari pouted, not looking like she wanted to answer.

"Have you slept beyond an hour at a time?"

"I can't remember," she admitted.

"Why haven't you slept? You're usually better at self regulation than I am."

"Missed you."

"It's more than that though, isn't it?"

She pulled back and burrowed back into his chest, concentrating on the sound of his heartbeat.

"Couldn't sleep alone. Dark figure stalking me. Brought back bad memories. Became a nonentity for a reason. I do the following now. I make others uncomfortable, observe and toy with them. Not the other way round."

"I took care of that. He won't follow me anymore. You can come back out. But sweetheart, why didn't you call me?"

"Too risky at night with him following you. Too busy during the day. Didn't seem like there was a good time," she admitted.

He frowned, but let it go, gently tugging her arms over his shoulders to clasp behind his neck and placed his hands on the back of her thighs in a prompt to jump up. With her firmly wrapped around him, he made way to his bedroom, sitting down on the edge and pulling back a touch.

"Maybe Steph was right about living situations," he muttered to himself, hushing her when she hummed in confusion.

"Are you comfortable sleeping in that?"

She tugged at the cardigan, accidently getting tangled until he helped her out of it, folding it off to the side. She tucked her face down into the side of his neck and slumped into him completely. Turning them about, he settled her down, curling around her.

"Sleep well, love."

#timari #timinette #part 13 #ml x dc #maribat #I also need to be dragged to sleep #hints at dark past #doesnt get into it #use your imagination

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