#but the ending really broke my heart
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finished mark's book and this sadness took over me and now i'm crying
#when i read about duff helping him out and befriending him i was really happy that happened#but the ending really broke my heart#getting the call about layne#i don't really believe in afterlife and stuff like that but i still hope he saw layne again#and kurt#and maybe they're somewhere singing together again
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"...I appreciate that you're trying to be on my side." "I am on your side."
BONUS REACTIONS:
#dimension 20#d20 spoilers#d20edit#burrow's end#burrows end#izzy roland#brennan lee mulligan#rashawn nadine scott#jasper william cartwright#lila#tula#mine **#the *ever* understandable thought process of lila going : mom has been upset ever since dad died .#and thus i blame dad because things are sad now . things are not as fun now .#it's *so* heartwrenching and also *clearly* enunciating how much kids REALLY see . they can Sense it#and Yes the entirety of this convo broke my Damn heart .#1k **
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I made my post about Dean Highbottom and then as I was writing my tags realised that his Hunger Games counterpart is Haymitch. and now my head is in my hands and I don’t think I’ll ever recover
#IM GOING TO CRY. I am part of the system I never wanted anything to do with it#I killed so many people without laying a hand on them. I never ever asked for this. I tried to say no. my hands are still bloody.#both turned to drugs to cope. both had a mentee who reminded them of someone they hated so much#(snow reminded the dean of his old friend. katniss reminded haymitch of himself)#both knew exactly how the games worked and all of its consequences because one made it and the other lived it#both lived in the shadows of the past and never really got out from it#but in the end one of them chose to be cruel to the children who they were asked to mentor#and the other loved even when it was killing him#god. twenty three years and they never managed to drown the fire out of him. his heart broke again and again#but he held onto those shards even as they made his hands bleed. and then one day two children appeared and pieced it back together#and some of it was missing and always would be. you can’t undo twenty three years of alcoholism and pain and grief and self loathing#but a lot of it was still there. far more than he ever even believed could have survived#Haymitch I love youuuuuuuuu I will always love you#and Dean Highbottom you were kinda cringe and lame. guynobody ass bitch. do better#haymitch abernathy#dean highbottom#thg#the hunger games#a ballad of songbirds and snakes#abosas
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Arcane S2 Act 1: Caitlyn's Arc (The Call of Revenge)
This is not my usual corner of tumblr, but I adore Arcane and I wanted to air out my thoughts on Act 1. There's understandably a lot of contentious commentary surrounding Caitlyn's 'villain uprising'.
As Mel points out, "she hides it admirably, but the poor girl's in so much pain". Caitlyn is by all definitions a loose cannon right now. She's clearly not in a sound nor stable state of mind. She's plagued by immense levels of grief, anger and hatred, that have her possessed and consumed. She's tried to put on a brave face but she's lashing out. She's raw. She fantasises about killing Jinx. Revenge is rarely ever rational or fair. It's emotionally charged and can often veer into madness.
During their fight with Jinx, all that comes to a head. In the heat of the moment, Caitlyn completely loses all her rationale, any dregs of compassion we knew from S1 swiftly go out the window. She must kill Jinx, no matter what. When people lose something dear, revenge can become their sole motivation, the only thing giving them purpose and a reason to keep going or to even stay alive. When a war suddenly takes away one of your loved ones, it becomes personal and very real. Up until that point, you can take a more diplomatic approach. A more idealistic stance. That is, until you've become a direct victim of the situation.
There was always a degree of sheltered naivete we saw with Caitlyn in S1, which clashed with Vi's more jaded (or grounded) sense of reality. And now Caitlyn's experiencing that for herself. Those feelings are currently at their most heightened, most potent and therefore; most dangerous. Luckily Vi had Vander to guide her when she tragically lost her parents, but there's no one to steer and influence Caitlyn when she's now at her most vulnerable and volatile.
Vi is wrapped up in the centre of said conflict and is still processing a lifetime of grief herself. Jayce is pre-occupied with Viktor. Mel has disappeared. Her mother is dead. Her father is paralysed by grief. There is no Grayson or equivalent to lead the enforcers. She doesn't have a mentor figure to consult or look to for guidance, who has her best interests at hand. "I don't know how, okay?!"
Ambessa seeks to exploit Caitlyn as a figurehead to aid her own objectives, precisely because she's in the perfect position to be easily manipulated and weaponised. "Come child", is a stark reminder that essentially Caitlyn is still a child. A child whose lost their mother and lost their way and now stands in the middle of a political hailstorm. So when Ambessa offers out her hand, it's no surprise Caitlyn takes it.
In my opinion, attempting to distill Caitlyn's actions as categorically right or wrong is a huge disservice to the complexities of the situation and the story. No one sets out to be the villain of their own narrative. We feel justified in what we do, because of who we are and what we've gone through. In our own minds, our actions make sense to us. And quite frankly, no one is immune to that.
#arcane#arcane s2#arcane season 2#arcane s2 act 1#arcane meta#arcane s2 spoilers#caitlyn kiramman#there was indeed a lot of misery in this first act#THE PAIN#as much as i understand the backlash - i really do feel for her#this was brutal for caitvi shippers#they utterly broke my heart#broken people trying to fix each other and ending up more broken
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its still batshit insane to me how winter was made out to be super irrational and cruel to the point he is deserving of being sent back to his abusive family that tried to systemically murder him as part of a throwaway “lmao fuck that guy!” joke because. he was rightfully pissed off that darkstalker mind controlled him. and he lashed out at moon because she was like “i mean, he meant well!”
all for the sake of love triangle bullshit. my wof url at one point was of those three fuckers in a polycule ship name and thats probably one of the most poorly aged things because i think everyone shouldve gone to hell for how they treated winter in that book
#im sure if i reread wof i wouldnt like winter as much bc im tired of male characters that are aggressive towards female ones#but like. in that scene he was absolutely justified to be pissed off. holy shit#who wouldnt??????? and the way hes discarded at the end fucking broke my heart. it genuinely put me off the series#‘’ough hes sad his abusive dad died!!! that means hes REALLY no more than a dumbass abuse apologist racist guy!’’ ohhhhh my god#and yeah his family doesnt kill him but they still fucking exile him#hes still made basically homeless and exiled from that friend group as well for the sake of shipping#i love moonwatcher a lot but oh my god. that wasnt worth it. not at all
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I love where Laudna's arc is at and where it's going. Of all the lines that hit me right in the chest in episode 95, "It's just Delilah" was just... That one hit less like a punch to the sternum and more like having the air sucked out of my lungs.
Much like she did to Orym.
#critical role#critical role spoilers#campaign 3#bell’s hells#The absolute sadness and grief on Laura's face for the following conversation broke my heart#Poor Robbie really got thrown in the deep end coming back to Critical Role haha#marisha ray#laura bailey#liam o'brien
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Wei Wuxian + Crying
"Can someone tell me... what I'm supposed to do now?"
#the untamed#cql#theuntameddaily#here literally crying#well this post is very sad cuz it is wwx suffering and crying except in the last gif#where he is happy that his a-yuan is alive and that lwj has raised him#but from there the burial mounds was the one that broke my heart the most#gg why are you such a good actor!!?#i didn't put scenes of his madness in 'nighless city' cuz there were many and so i only put the one of him crying when lwj catches him#there are really many scenes where he was sad. 😭😭😭#my poor little baby#i put the quote cuz i think that every time something bad happened to him and he cried. he wondered what he would do next#to help others but at the same time he hurt himself too much with each new decision he made#until he finally ended his life#long gifset cw#blood cw#wei wuxian#xiao zhan#my gifs#mygifs.cql
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Chapter 89
I just finished Chapter 89
#I just finished Chapter 89… I don’t know what else to say… I have a lot to say… but… like… no. Just no.#Kingdom of Ash spoilers in tag and I guess kinda post but not really#90s only gonna hurt more with Abraxos & Narene & I hate reading reactions & Dorian’s not there & Manon my love like what do we do now what#first read#reading reacts#live updates#read with me#cry with me die with me idk cause why with me all I have now is bad rhymes cause my brain has been evaporated too (too soon?)#read along#Chapter 89#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah Jessica Maas why did you do this to me#I miss ACOTAR where no one dies#I mean it’s well written#and I’m fangirl heartbroken#but also real world crying#cathartic read world grief Maasverse moments and love and loving and hope and destruction and despair and fangirling and feels and agh#this better have a happy ending#I can’t keep calm but I guess I’ll read on#I don’t know the last time a book made me actually cry this much and broke my heart so deeply… I miss you already Asterin… Vesta… Sorrel… 13#stupid tag letter count cut off stopping me from listing them all but my loves … always … until the darkness claims us… and even then…#I am not okay#I am dead inside#I will never recover#KoA actually stands for Killed Off All of my soul that’s what the KOA part means#SARAH WHAT DID YOU DO#I wish I could hug fictional characters#haven’t finished the book yet just the chapter that finished me#once 13 always 13#I prefered live Fenrys since it ACTUALLY INVOLVED LIVING
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Practice, i guess, im so rusty with everything. I already hate it. Maybe someday i'll do properly anatomy and painting...for now, i'll be stuck with this.
#team fortress 2#tf2#tf2 scout#tf2 sniper#team fortress fanart#tf2 fanart#tf2 art#art#my art#drawing#tf2 comic#webcomic#i guess#i hate everything#speeding bullet#sniperscout#you know...it's not really sniperscout but ill leave like that#like this poor man stayed with this man child because he didn't want to broke his heart but in the end his heart keep betraying him#of course he had to tell him#i kinda want to continue this#not really with color but we will see...i really want to keep posting shit again#about what ever#because as you can see i suck and i really need the practice
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thinking about jerry in Bethic Twinstinct before giggling and twirling my hair
#tbh i was worried when i first watched the intro like jerry threaten to khs if he broke up with beth but when i watched through to the end#i was like :DDDDDD!?!?!?!?#I REALLY LIKE JERRY'S REACTION IN THAT EP#HE WAS GONNA LEAVE!!!!!!!!!!!#HE WASN'T GONNA TAKE THEIR SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!1#AND BETH CARE#AND JERRY AND SPACE BETH MADE UP#i feel guilty saying this but that ep make my jerbeth heart flutter like crazy#'jerry cuck' BZZT WRONG 'jerry win and now has two wives' BZZZT DOUBLE WRONG#THE ONE WHO HAS TWO WIVES IS BETH#jerbeth
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baldurs gate is so funny it’s just
laezel &shadowheart: let’s break you outta this religious cult!
wyll & gale: let’s break you outta this unhealthy relationship!
astarion & karlach: let’s break the people who broke you!
that’s it that’s the game
#halsin is like let’s break you out of this monumental weight you keep putting on yourself#i could write pages on halsin tbh like#he really glosses over his own pain and like he’s not looked after#like the comments you can make about him being good for helping carry stuff#the way he can say ‘my heart can wound’#if you end things with him and then take it back (i reloaded the save i just wanted to see DJSJS)#and it broke my heart like people just see him as this big strong guy to push responsibility on to#who can protect everyone all the time and he can but like no!! i’m protecting YOU get in my pocket#acknowledge your past trauma don’t gloss over it#he’s very similar to astarion imo#in the way that both kind of seem like they don’t need help#or act like it rather but to different extremes#halsin cares about everything all the time and shoulders the burden#astarion elected to not care about anything ever and preserve himself bc no one else would#i’m obsessed with their poly and how they both desperately need to be cared for in vastly different ways that are somehow still so similar#lyriumsings txt#bg3#spoilers#anyway this was supposed to be a silly post i got lost in my feels DKSJDJDJS
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i love bill so so so so so so so much.
#finished the book last night. feeling some sort of way#i’ve loved him for so long. stumbled into him practically arbitrarily before i really even had a ‘type’#and nine years later now that i’ve developed a type? he’s it. he’s so so it#and i just. i love him so much he’s so special to me#end of the book broke my heart he’s LITERALLY my poor little meow meow#dream boy ⚠️❤️#book of bill spoilers#maybe.#talking
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me when people hate on aos trek:
#starlight fandom#starlight trek#LOOK I KNOW THEY AREN’T GOOD MOVIES THEY WERE IF MARVEL HIT STAR TREK WITH A BASEBALL BAT BEHIND A CLUB#BUT AOS GOT ME INTO STAR TREK IN THE FIRST PLACE OKAY IT HAS A PLACE IN MY HEART FOREVER#AND IT’S NOT AOS!JIM’S FAULT THAT THEY WROTE HIM BAD I ACTUALLY THINK ITS REAL INTERESTING#TO SEE A VERSION OF JIM KIRK THAT’S TRAUMATIZED AND FUCKED UP AND DIDN’T HAVE A FATHER AND YET HE STILL ENDS UP COMPASSIONATE#HE STILL ENDS UP A LEADER AND KIND#like fr tho that’s a fascinating concept#how much things may be different and how Spock!prime broke the timeline by melding with aos!kirk#and Kirk still ends up kind and loving and beloved anyway!!!!!#like I’m sorry they didn’t execute well until beyond and honestly I ignore stid entirely but it’s such a cool concept to me#and Karl urban as bones was so. SO. SO GOOD. he was perfect and deranged in the best way#Quinto-Spock I can take or leave but I do love me a bitchy Vulcan and he did have that#it’s okay to not like aos I don’t blame anyone for not liking it but I am so fond of it folks I truly am#and I’m not just saying that b/c the fic I’m writing rn for comfort and therapy reasons is projecting my current issues on aos!kirk#he’s just really to project onto and he looks like he’d benefit from ketamine treatment too and learning how to have hobbies w/o stress#anyway like I said I don’t blame anyone for disliking it or erasing it from their fandom memory#but it got me into Star Trek and I’m grateful and if ppl weren’t cowards aos!kirk would be so fucking fascinating in a feral way
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okay fuck it. I'm proud of this Gay Ass piece and I wanna share it on the Gay Ass website. Here's "Mapagpalaya, Sana"
#um okay to be honest i dont know what would actually be a good translation of the title#because um The Title Is Very Intentional#i guess the nearest would be 'to be free. we hope“ or smth NGJDJ but really There Is A Reason Why The Title Is Like That#but in any case i wrote this for my university publication's pride month coverage#(shhh to those that manage to find it)#i was challenged to combine both Pride Month and Independence Month (june is PH's independence month)#so i combined gay shit and revolutionary shit#(also um u guys get this tidbit: i wrote this as a means of saying farewell to um the person that kinda broke my heart pfffffffttt)#(so its a farewell (break-up) letter on my end eyyyy aint that nice woo being sapphic is so much fun so much angsty material to work with)#izzy's poetry#i gotta streamline the tags for my art#lgbtq#philippines#filipino poetry#chatgpt does a good translation of this actually like legit#it works go try it
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I feel like at this point if I just assumed everyone who was in a certain circle of Minecraft Youtubetry is a bad person that I wouldn't be too far off
#king posts#this is about Wilbur Soot#if you haven't heard (I don't blame you I JUST learned about it) then it's being speculated that he abused Shubble#like she never said his name but there are many many MANY signs pointing to it being him#and I just can't be surprised anymore#she is so brave for even talking about it at all tbh#because his methods of abuse (that she talked about) were so unorthodox#and certain people (abuse apologists) like to write off unorthodox abuse tactics as not being ''real'' abuse#and hearing that she had those types of thoughts herself really broke my heart#abuse is abuse#I'm so glad she was able to get out of it in the end#even if she didn't know what she was going through was abuse at the time (been there)
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So as per the official F1 media (not the one based on votes) the best battle and best overtake for the 2023 season is Esteban's overtake on Fernando in Singapore GP. I'll take that. Although I still think his overtake on Yuki and Albon (twice) in Spa should have been included but beggers can't be choosers I guess.
#I really loved Esteban's overtakes in Singapore#and being there on track and watching with other fans live was amazing#the race may have ended badly for him (and me 🥺 my heart broke when I saw him slowing down right infront of me)#but I truly enjoyed watching him drive and seeing F1 cars in person for the 1st time.#esteban ocon#eo31#formula 1
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