#but the body remembers and so does the soul
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shevathegun · 2 days ago
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I just read a post about how Palamedes began to understand that cavs mix with and imprint on the souls of their necros because of what Alecto got from John, and I like that post, but I don't agree with it's conclusions.
I don't agree that what John got from Alecto was rage. John had rage. He had it in abundance. Anyone who's ever cared about anything the way he and his acolytes cared understands that rage. One does not secure for themselves a suitcase nuke without a bit of wrathfulness in their heart, you see. Everything we hear from John paints him as deeply self righteous, and deeply angry.
And I don't agree that what Alecto got from John is love. Alecto had love. Alecto had great love and fascination for the Earth and its creatures, retains great love for those which living people no longer remember, regards human beings as one creature amongst many, but always with fascination and curiosity. In Nona we see that to love is not simply human – to love is the will of the Earth, and to love almost indiscriminately, to give even the devouring wrath of another planet that same deep love and sympathy.
No, what John and Alecto gave one another was much simpler than that. John gave Alecto humanity. Deeply unwanted, singularizing humanity – he trapped that nigh infinite power and wisdom and emotion, that deeply inhuman complex state of being, in a human body inspired not even by humanity itself but by a non-living effigy of idealized womanhood, and gave her the name of an avenging goddess. That was what he wanted her to be.
And by the same token, Alecto gave John her inhumanity. Earth is not a person, it is not singular – she is more vast and complex than any living being could ever be. The nearly inarticulatable way Nona experiences life as a corporeal being, nearly folds in on herself from trying to remain so small, is indicative of the life Alecto has been forced to live ever since John trapped her like this, devoured her whole with the gift she gave him.
There's something very fitting about the cannibalism metaphors that spring up in The Locked Tomb – namely that one of the reasons why cannibalism is viewed as a taboo act is because it involves reducing someone with the same ability as yours to think and feel complexly to the role of animal, and consuming them. We ascribe the act of consumption to what we view as lesser beings. In devouring the souls of their cavaliers, necromancers become something more than human, something immortal, something Worse.
When John ate Alecto, he was not devouring a lesser being. He wasn't even devouring something like himself in its ability to think and feel. He was devouring something with a greater ability to feel than he had the capacity to fathom by such orders of magnitude that the act itself is perverse.
He was a man devouring the earth.
John became a god because in coming into contact with Alecto's soul, he lost the part of him that showed him his place in the universe as a singular piece of a whole species. In attitude, he remains a self righteous, wrathful man completely immune to all attempts to dissuade him from what is now a centuries long lost cause. But in affect, he is a god. The power and disaffection of a planet contained within one man.
Alecto was born angry, but not because that's how she's meant to be. John perverted the natural order, made the Earth his literal toy, to serve only how he, in his hubris, thought she ought to be, to feel only how he thought she ought to feel. That's how humans tend to think of the Earth, right? As something fundamentally unliving. An object, maybe a force. Not a soul.
But in Nona, even she came to understand that she was so much more complicated than a sword, or a doll. Alecto has now lived within two human beings – and you're right that in one of them, through contact with their soul, she remembered how deeply and profoundly she loved living things.
The soul that reminded Alecto how she, as a planet, loved (loves, still loves) was not John.
It was Harrow.
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starberry-cupcake · 16 hours ago
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GUESS WHO'S BACK??? Happy new year you bone-loving weirdos (affectionately)!!! Let's start 2025 with Nona!!!
previously, in this react series:
we (I mean me, but also you, alongside me) finished harrowcita del 9
we read some short stories
I made a gideon craft as a gift and the person I made it for told me that the recap I wrote in the back made it to some discord server somewhere
my legacy is being unfunny
NOW LET'S START WITH NONA:
(that's how I called 2 of my great-grandmothers)
I decided to skip all the praise for the book because some of them were getting a little too involved with the story and I don't want to know anything, thank you very much
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I did however read the blurb in the inside cover that I missed the last time
I wonder if at some point I could make like an audio version of a recap as I read, because my reaction when I read the following was Something, but then again you'd have to deal with my pronunciation of the names and idk if I want that
anyway, blurb says "with Pyrrha, Camilla and Palamedes"
???????????????????????????????????????????
I thought it was judith and coronabeer twin??????
I'm gonna change her name from regina george twin to coronabeer twin now because she outlived her other nickname
she's the only nickname graduate so far
who took palmolive out of the tamagotchi river loft???????
who set him loose????
how is phyrrha there, she was with gideon/harrow/gideonharrow fusion??????
"each night, Nona dreams of a woman with a skull painted face"
don't we all
the list of books says "Nona the Ninth" and so does the title in the paratext
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instead of dramatis personae we have a guest list for a party
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there are a lot of dogs invited to the party, which is nice
one of them has six legs
there's also people with BOE names
and one kevin, love to see it, I'll remember him
lots of meme potential there
there are some camilla annotations beside all the people from BOE allegedly nona wants to invite
still not seeing coronabeer and/or judith
gonna imagine that, wherever they are, they're making out
good for them
we got two poems after, the latter of which is a bit heart wrenching, I don't wanna ask about it
then we got a title that looks like a bible verse
had to google it and it is a verse about peter and a disciple finding jesus's tomb empty
ice cube barbie is locked tomb jesus confirmed
I've never mentioned this before but this has happened to me ever since book 1, and since it's here again I'm gonna say it
I have noticed I have a bad knee jerk reaction to the adjective 'fat' being used so often for so many things, but I'm trying to work thought it
don't wanna project my trauma onto unintended narrators
we got a summarized recount of events of what might be how emperor asshat and some of his lyctors got where they got from maybe present times???
there's talk about cryogenics for a lot of people and an evacuation plan from earth
and names are erased but we have some initials that could be augustine, mercygirl, cassiopeia and gideon
I don't think c is not!dulcinea because she was meant to be a newer model lyctor
during this recount he's in the beach alongside harrow, who he says he's gonna hurt
harrow apparently says she still loves him
gideon would be kicking him in the nuts
also, I thought the emperor was with yandere twin
what the hell happened between the two books???? where's everyone????
DAY ONE (hot sauce and 5 days until the tomb opens) CH 1
we've got a recorded statement of what feels to me like the Pool Situation Wink Wonk You Know The One
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is she harrow??? or is harrow in the river with the emperor and this is a new person???? who is this????? is harrow's soul in the river???? where is gideon's perfectly preserved body that we knew camilla was carrying around with coronabeer and judith???
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I don't know anything
but my wife is here, so it's all good
also, she's apparently sharing a body with palmolive now
so now the wife ideal turned into a polycule situation, I guess
didn't have that in my 2025 cards
I have two hands, apparently, idk
turns out, palmolive was somehow freed from his tamagotchi loft in the river and placed in camilla's body so they share it
how? by who? when?
glad you asked, I don't know
they're sharing space now, that's all I know
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it's kind of like the lyctors should have been if the emperor wasn't an asshole, I guess
because it seems they can also switch easily and like coexist without totally cutting the other one out
it feels a lot healthier and organic in their relationship, even though palmolive is a soul guest
palmolive says camilla's body is a temple, so I'm glad we agree
pyrrha is also there, I assume taking over og!gideon's body fully, since he died, afaik
they're taking care of nona, who doesn't know who she is and they don't seem to know either, but if she has harrow's memories, I don't know what to tell you
they're living in a complicated militarized situation with few resources and little light use
palmolive thinks he could write explicit materials for a living but camilla doesn't want them to be remembered for that
palmolive wrote a lot of Things to his bae in correspondence, so maybe that's already part of his legacy
nona is sent to her room while palmolive and pyrrha argue about BOE acting weird
camolive want to rescue people, pyrrha thinks it's a bad idea and wants to get nona away from the planet
pyrrha also mentions a "she" that's crazier than camilla and makes references to commander wake me up when september ends but that one died???? twice????? so idk who this new "she" is
let's remember, for the record, that both og!gideon and pyrrha were Intimate with commander wake me up before we go go
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apparently there are more people who are planet refugees in this one planet than two houses combined
which doesn't surprise me in the least, because that's how oppression often works, but is good to have it confirmed
heralds are also still a problem and camilla wants to fight them
pyrrha thinks that's a bad idea, because there's data of that not being possible
but she doesn't know that camilla hect is perfect and can do everything right always
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it is important for me to clarify that, more than anyone ever in this book series, nona is the true definition of what in my land we refer to as: "está en un cumple"
the literal definition of the phrase means "she's in a birthday party"
the idiom definition is that someone is totally unaware of what is going on, without understanding what's around them, often used for people in a content state while unaware of a problem everyone else is worrying about
I truly think it's a very good way to describe her and I can't translate it in a way that feels the exact way, especially due to the party context
I headcanon her wearing this shirt
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she also wants to save the animals, while camolive want to save the people
pyrrha is just tired and wants to retire to a farming planet to live in peace
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I get it, though, imagine having to serve emperor asshat for so long
poor cavalier deserves some rest, og!gideon had the right idea when he exited the entire situation
saw an out with that fight in the river and left the chat
pyrrha is also worried about BOE capturing and torturing camolive for interrogation
and there seems to be an underlying plan between camolive and pyrrha that I'm not entirely sure of yet
nona, apparently, goes to school, because she's in a cumple, as previously established
going to school on top of the eye in the sky and the military issues and the social strife and the potential torturing doesn't sound ideal but very glad there's still an education system in place among all that
AND THAT'S IT FOR NOW!!! It's proving a bit complicated to do recaps with a paperback but I'm gonna try to find my footing!! See you on the next one!!
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katsutacle · 9 months ago
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Old habits die hard
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kindred-spirit-93 · 2 days ago
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AIGHT THE REVIEWS ARE IN
imeda i love you this fic has bewitched me body and soul i legit am no longer able to can neo is whats keeping me sane atp thank u for making this i will never ever recover (wrote this as i was reading lol)
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I MADE A MEME LMAO
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odysseus what the fuck dude. step the fuck up. what the fuck >:[
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“I would rather my son fade into obscurity than live a life like yours, rotten and vicious, remembered for nothing but the lives you took and the agony you caused." BITCH WHO DID THAT??? WHO??
"You’ll be remembered as Achilles’ son, who fought for less than him and destroyed everything he touched.” OH NO HE FUCKING DIDNT
the line neo spits to ody abt tele being the opposite of him bc he was untouched for 20 years fucked me up i hope ur happy
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first telemachus appearance whoop whoop *bites him cutely*
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also neo being absolutely whipped FROM HIS VOICE ALONE (he called him pretty 3 seconds ago but whatever) SENT ME LMAO
obligatory agamemnon slander lol. also i adore the post odyssey setting its genius its brilliant its everything i ever wanted in life and more. also odypen giggling over war plans has no right being this funny to me
HE CALLED HIM BEAUTIFUL HOLY SHIT *explodes*
squeaking like a fruit bat over here lmao my heart
"... acquainted" my ass neo (i love u). GET HIS ASS TELE AHAHAHHAH god i want to draw them so horrifically bad
THEYRE HOLDING HANDS. OH MY GOD THEYRE HOLDING HANDS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. theyre married ur honour
imeda i had no idea neo was this fucking down bad for tele this is the funniest thing ive ever seen in my life neo is so angsty and brooding the whole time (and rightfully so lol) and then tele looks at him and hes like damn i no longer want to disembowel myself with the dagger (engraved with his faveourite flower/ plant) he gifted me
HNBHGNBHJMNBHJNHNHJMNH HE SAID THE F WORD (FRIEND)
lmao dinner with the in laws! odysseus get rekt
i need neo and deidamia shenanigans i think theyre both menaces.
LMAO NEO MY BABY I CANT. his dates training sessions with tele are purely to train him as the biggest fuck u to ody and not at all to spend more time with the crown prince. as one does of course.
all i can think of is tele as that one vine: i am NOT chicken little XD
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argos!! idc what yall say he is alive and well and gnawing on the bones of suitors.
THE PALMS OF HIS HAND IM CRYING AND BEGGING U TO STOP ur so cruel i love u pls continue and torture him (and me) harder
neos PTSDyyseus (geddit?) is slowly killing me. cant wait to see how this plays out esp if tele does something that really strikes a nerve
ody: u just want attention, u dont want my sons heart neo: *throws his throne at him*
the love and a slit throat line is so raw and beautiful, something tells me its a favourite of yours as it is a maxim to neo lol
neo was really harsh and tele has unlocked 17 new kinks asdfgh. stop falling deeper in love with him its going to break u neo wake tf up
"He likes this look on Telemachus’ face. He likes the fiery determination, the indignation, the rage. He likes this Telemachus just as much as he likes the sweet one who could grow flowers with his touch alone. He thinks that not as many people get to see this Telemachus." god help me. my beans >:')
OHOHOHOOH "holding her close to him with a kind of desperation that Neoptolemus recognizes" FUCK
i think i remember a snippet of where neo says deidamia would gladly accept pyrrhus back, but neo was no longer him, and it still hurts to think of. well done u truly have a way with words and imagery that compounds the gravity of the situation and spins them into a morsel that loves to squat in the middle of your throat and make u feel things.
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fuck i just got to the underworld bit and im sick to my stomach. fuck. *combusts in nonexistent daddy issues* *heals only to die again worse*
OH MY GOD. NO U CANT DO THIS TO ME. HOW DARE U MAKE IT WORSE neo now being scared bc his dad cared and he can no longer tell himself welp its not like achilles' approval mattered anyway. FUCK
“He regretted much in his life, but you were never one of those things,” WHAT IF I CRIED. WHAT THEN?
lol tele pulling if not his friend then mine shit. love that for him
polites?? polites in my neomachus fic?? america exblain. (no seriously pls im genuinely confused, didnt he die via zeus?)
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in conclusion:
neo: *punches tele's nose* fuck you
tele: *bleeding profusely* i love u too
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neomachus my one and only tether to sanity (and my moots ofc)
(fun fact i made this before getting to the part where neo actually punches him in the nose and ngl i feel great no one talk to me lmao)
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also also while reading i was humming along to blue eyes and guess what im gifting neo lmao. its 17 times funnier to me now after reading bc they flirt by nearly killing each other.
anyway bless you eternally, tysm for writing and gracing my eyes and heart and nourishing my soul with this ship lol, best of luck in uni may u pass every exam with flying colours and eat ur favourite food always
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givin u a bajillion kudos ao3 cant tell me what to do >:(
also fable and truth slaps lol like its such a great opening chapter title
HELLOOOO EVERYBODY!!!
chapter one of my neomachus fic, someday i know you’ll come to your senses, is finally up!! you can check it out HERE!!
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cybertron-after-dark · 2 months ago
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Being constantly surrounded by the presence of a loving God sounds great until you realize you never know when his freaky fuckin eyes are gonna show up to check on you.
And man. They do it a LOT.
#primus please let the mech breathe#what i want to emphasize most with this iteration of optimus is the inherent fucking terror of being made a prime#really pick at those little threads of how fucked the matrix as a concept is. same with the staple tropes of op himself#the idea in tfp that it can entirely change your personality. and that if you lose it you cannot remember your time with it#those implications send me spiraling. to what degree is optimus the same being as orion pax? do you forfeit your soul to be a demigod?#do you fucking die to become a conduit for the higher being that made you? letting it puppet your mind and body like a parasitoid?#if death in transformers is simply rejoining the allspark; if the soul is something splintered off from the whole;#and if to die as a cybertronian is for that fragment to merge with the whole once again. is a prime not fundamentally a dead mech walking?#a prime stands with one pede in the afterlife and one in the land of the living and has to keep up with both at once#constantly seeing visions from a plane his processor was never meant to comprehend with optics that were never built to see it#forced to adapt into an elevated being as much as a frame that still has silly things like wants and needs and emotions and base coding can#how does a mortal live when his body is no longer just his body; but a vessel fir something holy and a tool fashioned to heal the world?#when he can never truly be alone again and he has to simply live with the ever present knowledge that he is being watched#both by his god and by the world#how does one live knowing not even their thoughts are private? when your god may be living but man he does not get the idea of boundaries#guess it must be hard to grasp personal space and all that when youre an ocean of souls that left it behind#maccadam#transformers#wayward sparks#optimus prime#art tag#sometimes i feel kinda bad for putting this bastard through The Horrors. if ws gets made all the way he will be thrown so many bones#only sometimes tho >:3
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linagram · 6 months ago
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haven't made these in a while
+ the updated version that makes more sense now
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tiptapricot · 1 year ago
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Thinking ab Liu Kang… thinking about a god who thinks he has lived this new life well, has learned the rises and falls of divine existence and knows what to expect, only to remember he is just a boy given too much power when he reaches a present he cannot control. Faces he used to laugh with, people he has seen grown old, different and changed, but so much the same. Events he thought he had avoided repeating themselves, his timeline slipping from underneath him for the first time possibly in millennia. What is a god meant to do when he cannot escape his own mortality, cannot escape the ghosts yet to come, the blood he must prepare to have spilled at his feet? What is a god meant to do when he cannot fathom his own power? When he is still just a boy so scared to be champion, but must now hold the weight of the universe on his shoulders?
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halsaph · 8 months ago
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Thought a little too hard about my web of headcanons and invented a new thing wrong with Siffrin. My bad
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franeridan · 1 year ago
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kidd and killer are such interesting creechers to me... isn't kidd the only captain we know that refers to his first mate with a term that puts him on his same level? they both call each other partner that's such a specific dynamic they have. and then there's that sbs where oda was like they've been partners since they were kids and have always done everything together so of course when they liked the same girl they both went on a date with her at the same time, like. hell yeah but also does oda understand what kind of relationship he's given them
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witchcraftingboop · 1 year ago
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If this does not end up being PMS, I will have to put myself on trial because we have much explaining to do otherwise
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bee-turtle-kind · 2 years ago
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watching FMA for the first time ever and man. Man. Why did no one tell me this has all my favorite tropes and horrors <3
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walking-loather · 10 months ago
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And what happens to the embryos that are never implanted in IVF. What happens to zygotes (fertilised eggs) that never implant in the uterus and are passed naturally through menstruation? What happens in the case of natural abortion (a foetus that is spontaneously aborted by the body in the early weeks of pregnancy?) And what happens in the case of foetuses who form without a brain or heart and therefore are never alive? Do they have souls???? Do they have this magical, fully formed, spiritual consciousness in them????
If life (and ensouling) begins at conception then shouldn't pro lifers be protesting at IVF clinics? There's thousands of "souls" being thrown away every day (not to mention those that pass through the uterus naturally and never get implanted, seeing as there are between 6-8 embryos used in a round of IVF). Where's the outcry at fertility specialists or women undergoing fertility treatments? Why aren't they mourning every single period of a woman trying to get pregnant just because it "could have" been a life?
Oh right, they don't care about that because it's just about controlling women.
pro lifer blocked me on twitter for asking this but if embryos have souls, and then they're aborted, exactly how sapient are they in the afterlife? Are they forever doomed to float around with no thoughts in their heads? Is it like just animal intelligence like a little happy goldfish? Do they still have an embryonic form? I've always seen an assumption that child souls are still in child form so I guess so. Do the other people in the afterlife keep abortions as little pets? Will they stay in a fishbowl or are they too stupid + intangible and float right out again?
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ozzgin · 10 months ago
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Yandere! House Monster x Reader
Listen, I woke up in cold sweat at 4am with a vision: you and your stereotypically unavailable gamer boyfriend have moved into a new house. You find out very soon it's not as empty as you had assumed, but your worries fall on deaf ears. The tentacle monster lurking in dark corners just wants to make sure you're not lonely.
[Second Part]
Content: gender neutral reader, monster romance (mildly NSFW)
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You didn't notice anything strange at first. Maybe it was considering its prey. You'd found a cheap, old house available for rent, and your boyfriend couldn't refuse the extra space for his mancave.
Oh, you poor thing. It watched your lonely evenings, your empty bed at night, your futile attempts to spend more time with your beloved partner. It had originally planned to devour your souls and await the next foolish mortals to enter its realm, but seeing your pitiful state prompted a change of heart. Metaphorical heart, of course.
It started gradually: testing the waters, or what you'd call a courting attempt. Doors opening by themselves, disembodied eyes lovingly gazing at you from the nearby walls. Dark tendrils making their way out of the shadows, just to announce its presence.
"I think this place might be cursed", you told your boyfriend one evening. "I've been stalked by amorphous silhouettes of blight and terror, and they whisper ancient blasphemies to me at night." He let out a worried shout and slapped the desk. "That's cool, babe. I'm kind of losing right now, though, so perhaps give me a minute?"
One night you were awakened from your slumber by a warm touch sliding across your body. You smiled into your pillow as the cheeky hands made their way down, fondling your curves and hungrily searching for your sensitive areas. You let out a soft moan, enjoying the moment, until you heard your boyfriend yell from the other room. Your eyes shot open.
The hands lewdly groping your privates were, in fact, tentacles. Your first reaction was to gasp, but you were quickly silenced by another slippery appendage pressing against your lips. Shh, shh. Allow the creature to do its thing, dear. Surely enough, within minutes you were a drooling mess, holding onto the sheets for dear life.
"You've been in a good mood lately", you boyfriend remarks, idly scrolling on his phone and crunching on his breakfast cereal. You ponder if you should tell him you've been fucked relentlessly by a monstrous creature inhabiting your new home. You glance at the counter and smirk, remembering how you just had to wipe your wet mess from it a few hours ago. "Keep it that way, hun, I could get used to not being pestered every hour", the man jokes with a laugh.
Does it count as cheating if your affair partner isn't really human? Although, you have to wonder if you're still dating to begin with. From the corner of your eye, you can discern faint movement above the young man, a shadow looming menacingly. The eldritch monster would not hesitate to tear your poor boyfriend apart if he tried to mess with its belonging.
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shegetsburned · 5 months ago
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obsessed with sukuna who’s inexplicably fascinated by the way you sleep. <𝟑
he does watch you from time to time but you never realize it. not in a creepy way, but more in a curious one. he mostly wonders why you seem to feel so relaxed in his presence, considering he strikes fear into the soul of anyone he comes upon— but not you. there’s something about you. something deeply annoying.
you’re cutely tucked between his sheets, a little drool dripping from your lips to the pillow. you’re completely relaxed, one naked leg sticks out of the covers while the sound of gentle little snores grace sukuna’s ears. defenseless and completely at his mercy but he finds nothing better to do than to stare.
he hasn’t touched you nor does he wish to disturb your sleep. it’s almost a whine of disgust that escapes his lips when you turn in your sleep and snuggle the pillow which smells just like him. you’re so insufferably adorable. sukuna’s fascinated by the way your rested cheek against the pillow makes your lips puffier and the way your breath follows a particularly peaceful rhythm in unison with the movement of your chest.
little did you know, he’s been staring for hours. watching you unintentionally scratch your hair or tighten your grip around the pillow you’ve been hugging tightly against your chest. your hair’s a mess but it flows beautifully with the messy covers of sukuna’s bed and your mouth opens when you’ve finally reached a deeper state of sleep. he has watched every single one of your movements carefully and still cannot pinpoint the reason why he cannot stop staring.
maybe it’s the fact that you’ve confidently assured him hours prior that you’d never sleep in the company of someone like him. failing miserably when the softness of the sheets overcame your stubbornness. or maybe it’s the way you’ve tried reaching for him even through the night. he had every intention not to allow you to touch him, but the time finally came when he was asleep and your hand found its place on his chest, following the breathing of his burning heart.
remembering how careless you both were disgust him. allowing you to touch him is one thing— because, yes, he allowed you, but to occupy his every thought every since you met him is infuriating. he couldn't even catch a break when you were sleeping. there’s a reason why he felt the need to stay and, of course, he’d refuse to ever admit that he had gone soft on you.
no.
he wants you to be terrified of him. he wants you to fear his name and worship the ground he walks on. he wants to feed on your tears and delight himself on your cries.
does he, though?
"’kuna.."
here it is again. you’re mumbling his name in your sleep and it takes every fibre of his being not to shut you up. an irritation. an itch in his plan. that’s what you were. a nuisance he needed to take care of. his hand moves on its own towards your neck, pointy nails ready to tear your skin apart but seems to stop just over your jaw. an hesitant groan almost wakes you up before you’re lulled back to sleep with long digits simply grazing your cheek.
"shut it, woman."
and before you know it, he’s caging you in his arms, breathing pattern slowly synching with yours while his other hands cover both of your bodies under the warm blankets of his comfortable bed. he won’t let you go until he’s rested and the king of curses does need a exaggerated amount of sleep with you snuggled against his chest.
© shegetsburned 2024 please do not repost/edit/or claim my writing as your own.
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cathag · 7 months ago
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rtc will have you questioning yourself on your deepest fears about death at 1:54 am.
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alexiroflife · 6 months ago
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"in every life"
curse reincarnation, fluff
ryomen sukuna x reader
Synopsis: you, a former sorcerer and sukuna's wife, are killed in the heian era. sukuna does not believe in a life without you, so he takes it upon himself to bring you back a thousand years later
to sum it up: you are sukuna's life, and no matter how long he has to wait, he will bring you back to him by any means necessary
WC: 3,621
Warning(s): angst in the beginning, reader death (but you're revived), brief icky descriptions of a vessel's possession
-> ask | sukuna fic list
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Sukuna remembers the exact moment you left him, soul fluttering almost gracefully from your eyes as your body fell limply into his four arms.
The moment replays in his mind as though it had only happened yesterday, or perhaps as recently as a few hours prior. Time has never been something the king of curses worried himself over, for his strength and existence exceeded such mortal constructs, but when his thoughts wander to you as frequently as air fills and deflates from his lungs, the very concept grows skewed and suddenly, time is a matter of great importance to him.
A king is nothing without his queen beside him, his rock, his partner, and that is what you are. That is what you were, but Sukuna refuses to address you in any form of past tense because your temporary withdrawal from the planet and from his side would never alter the fact that you are his, that you have been his, and that you will be his until the end of time. 
Sukuna has never been one for romantics, for connections that tie his free spirit down from the unfettered, terrifying rule that he leads, but when you entered his life, his opinions shifted and his ambitions changed, making room for you at his side upon his throne. 
The two of you had been married for years before you left him. Sukuna had never bothered to count, but now he finds himself mulling over the years’ contents in search of a piece of your memory that can stay with him until the time comes for you to return to his hand. 
When you were alive, Sukuna never fathomed you leaving his side. He almost feels he should punish you for so abruptly taking an absence from him without permission, castigating your spirit until he feels that the space you once occupied close to him emanates remnants of an apology, of guilt, of a promise to never do such a foolish thing ever again. 
When you were alive, you were a sight to behold, a perfect fit for the title of his wife. You were deserving of each and every privilege he bestowed upon you; of holding his face in your small, dainty hands, of pressing your lips to the textured plate of his face, of throwing your legs over his thighs as you settle onto his lap with a large, burly arm coming around you and securing you there for all of his servants and former concubines to see how high you sit amongst him and how low they remain beneath the two of you. 
You always said what you were thinking. While he ensured that everyone within and outside of his temple feared him, you were always unaffected by his intimidating presence. He remembers one instance in which you were lying beneath him, a mess of silk fabrics swarming your bare figure over your reserved place in his bed with your hair splayed out messily over the pillows and your eyes weighted with a foolish look of what he could only describe as enchantment and tender allegiance.
He feels the ghost of your fingers trace his jaw as he looks down at you quietly, dwarfing you in his mass. A smile touches your soft lips with a rosy hue swirling over your (s/c) skin. 
“Your eyes are quite beautiful.”
Your voice is a whisper of past enamorations through Sukuna’s ear as his brows arch in reminiscence. He remembers how he glared at you in confusion, face hard though he always allowed you to continue admiring him, to continue touching him without consequence. His eyes, which mirror the color of fresh, crimson blood as he has watched it gurgle from the mouths and limbs of his victims, staining the streets, his hands, and his monstrous legacy, are windows you believe to be… beautiful.
Your sentiments never failed to befuddle him. He never did understand why you associated such a ferocious beast with beliefs so light and pure. He is not beautiful, he had thought. He never desired to be beautiful. He is simply Ryoman Sukuna, enough of himself to be categorized in unique isolation, separate from your labels of aesthetic charm and peace. 
You’re silly. Silly with love and submission, he thinks, but he has never denied you of these admirations though he fails to agree. 
Besides, you are his wife. He would have allowed you to worship him in any way you pleased if you asked, and in truth, you hardly did ask. You knew what you were to Sukuna, how you and only you remained the only soft spot that the salmon haired demon withheld in his breast. You were beyond requesting approval to love him in the ways you saw fit, and Sukuna was pleased because you knew, in all spaces, that you were his and he was yours. 
Among all the trophies of battles won, of cities conquered, of titles obtained, you are Sukuna’s greatest prize. 
His love for you was always silent, long glances and grips of the waist, orders to slaughter on your behalf and the pat of his hand over his beefy thigh to beckon you over. His love was an unrestrained space for you to express your desires, to demand his attention, and his compliance with a veil of frustration poorly masking his easy willingness to give you anything you pleased. His love was long, sleepless nights, the marking of his territory by means of stinging bites and purple bruises over your smooth skin that no living being in his wake could mistake for anything but a reminder of your connection to him. 
His love was you incarnate, just a woman before hell’s greatest crown, but his love no less. His wife. His queen. His eternity.
Sukuna does not know why he mourned you when you died. He found himself reacting impulsively, in a short-lived panic when your blood spilled over his skin and your eyes lost the light that he’d been following through the tunnel of his rein for years. 
He knows death is a taboo concern only for mortals to fret over, but when you die, he feels as though he has died himself. Your life flashes before his eyes, your time with him, and this strange ache swarms his body and manifests as a ball in his throat as his ruby hues melt over you in alarm. 
He struggles to accept your parting. He’s viciously angry, a horrible wreck that his servants fear stepping too close into proximity as the time passes and your vacancy weighs itself over his temple and his body like a mountain. He had believed your death to be painful, but the period that follows, the period of waiting stings him like no pain he has endured before. 
A king needs his queen, and without you, no matter for how long, he feels empty. He rampages his heartache away, but it no longer holds the satisfaction it did when you were with him, watching from the sidelines and cheering him on. His estate feels colder somehow, the dent you’ve left in his bed losing its shape and the memory of you fading from others’ minds, but not from his. Never from his. 
Sukuna knows that he will see you again. In any era, no matter how much farther into the future, he will find you once more, bring you back to his embrace, and dust off the crown that he has reserved for your pretty head alone. 
He holds onto a piece of you, storing it safely, awaiting the time to revive you even within his own cursed slumber after having sealed himself for a millenia, severing parts of him and scattering it over the country.
You, however, remain stowed safely in one place. A place he will remember to return to when he reawakens in rebirthed flesh.
Now, a millenia following your untimely death, Sukuna stares emptily at the woman before him, curling and tossing around with bound wrists and ankles at his feet.
She’s crying, screams of horror rising into the starry sky as Sukuna’s eyes glint menacingly beneath the moonlight. He watches her carefully, curling his lips. He looks at this pest, this fragile, forgettable mortal woman and sees everything that you are not. For a moment, he hesitates, his fingers clutching over the ancient parchment wrapped object he holds protectively within his grasp at his side. 
His brows draw together in frustration induced by your vessel. He knows he picked wisely, however, he can not deny the hesitation that captures his mind when he contemplates whether this vessel will do your worth justice. Whether it will truly bring you back the way he plans for you to be. 
He holds up the object in his hand, your energy emitting from behind the paper and through his veins, easing into his blackened soul. You are practically calling to him, holding his hand, murmuring into his ear that it will be okay. 
Sukuna is reminded then and there solely by the spirit of you that nothing in this world could even begin to dwindle the brilliance in which you shine, that even within the body of a bird or a squirrel, your essence would burst through. You will reincarnate wholly as how you left him, and as nothing less. 
With a heavy exhale through his nose, Sukuna unravels the object, tossing the parchment to the ground, and takes a step forward to approach the young woman squirming in the grass before him. He walks over her, feet planted on either side of her figure, and bends down. Her eyes go white with terror as snot and tears dribbles over her nose and down her cheek. Sukuna looks into her coldly, grasping a hand over her face and digging his black nails into her jaw. 
She shudders an agonizing, shrill screech that is soon muffled by the manner in which Sukuna squeezes her cheeks inward and forcefully pries her mouth open. 
With a steely, disconnected glare, Sukuna takes the object imbued with your cursed energy, your ring finger. He pulls your wedding band from the decrepit digit and pushes it to the woman’s lips. Her eyes go wide as she chokes over her jaw’s lack of mobility, and the taste of something foreign and timeworn on her tongue. Her stuttered, whimpering gasps release and she gargles once Sukuna pushes the object down her throat. He slaps his hand back over her mouth as it slides down her throat and she twitches uncontrollably, eyes cracking with red veins. 
The king of curses holds her still as her body flops wildly, her chest lurching forward and limbs flying about. Her body can not handle the intrusion of a thousand year old sorcerer’s influence, so it fails. Her eyes roll into her skull and her fingers twitch once her limbs have stilled in the grass. A symphony of crickets chirping lifts into Sukuna’s ears as the woman beneath him goes completely silent, dead, still.
He waits. After a millennia of existence confined to cursed flesh, after years of the cold left in your wake nipped at his skin, after battling bodies for dominance over a vessel, he waits just a few seconds more for you.
After it seems as though he has lost you for a second time, the body’s eyes flicker. Sukuna stills above you, pupils shrunken in anticipation.
Movement shifts beneath him. A chest rises, and breathing begins steadily through it. The color of this vessel’s skin shifts, transitioning slowly, milking into the hue of gentle (s/c) that Sukuna once caressed with his rough fingers. Color flushes through pale cheeks, and irises of (e/c) roll back from the skull and stare widely ahead, directly into Sukuna’s gaze. Finally, your voice comes, a gentle hum of confusion and discomfort as you regain your lost senses.
Sukuna’s heart skips as the familiar warmth of your body emanates from beneath him again, and his hand is slowly sliding from your parted lips. He feels as though he’s just run a marathon despite his inability to wind himself. He breathes out heavily, gradually, and silence envelopes the two of you in the darkness of the late night. 
While Sukuna had planned this from the very moment you went dead in his hands, he feels somehow starstruck by you. You look as beautiful as you were centuries in the past, skin smooth, brows curled, lips soft as though you had not been gone from his life for more than a brief second. You have returned to him as he had thoughtfully calculated, and yet, he can not fathom the fact that you are here at long last, mere centimeters away, manifested into truth by his graze of your chin. 
The muscles in your brows pull together in disbelief, glimmering eyes shining over as you take in the sight before you. The last thing you felt was a blade slicing into your heart and ripping down through your body, the last vision of Sukuna racing to throw you into him as your opponent met his end with the selective mutilation of his internal organs at your husband’s hard, feral, red glance.
You blink hurriedly, shooting a hand out to your husband’s bicep. “...Ryo?” you whisper in a trembling voice, knowing him by gaze and presence and touch alone. 
The said demon’s brows angle and his body lurches forward with a sharp exhale upon hearing your voice utter his name outside of the confines of his mind’s nostalgia and imagination. He is overcome by the return of you to him, eyes fiery with longing for his once lost love and shoulders aching as the weight that had been crushing down finally releases. The sensation of your fingers curling over his arm sends chills down his spine, for time has never altered Sukuna’s course of existence, but time tells in the way he physically shivers when your loving contact revives on his skin after having been stripped of him for what feels like eternity.
Tears pool in your eyes and your shaky hands raise to smooth over his face, exploring his marked skin and familiarizing yourself with the structure of the being you fell in love with many lifetimes ago. Sukuna’s brow flinches as you feel over his face, and his own palm cradles over your cheek, dwarfing your head in the fashion it always used to as the back of his fingers skim over your heated flesh. 
“Ryomen,” you say his name again, voice crumbling and your shoulders jerking in awe.
He trips down into you, hands clutching over your head as you guide his face down with his hasty movements. Your name tumbles hoarsely from his rumbling voice, against your lips, and slotting into your mind in a haze as his lips meet yours urgently. 
You cry gently into him, lips parting and pushing back in as he kisses you fervently, savoring you, burrowing you into his body’s memory to recover the time he has spent deprived of you. Your hands fly over his neck, down his back, detailing the ridges and the muscles rippling beneath the fabric of his shirt that you know so well. He presses himself down into you, pulling you in closer by your head, flushing your chests together to intertwine your souls once more. Heady grunts and growls heave into your mouth between frenzied, stunned, satisfied kisses, and each time a tear of yours catches into the liplock, Sukuna is pulling it into his lips, saltiness swirling through the sweet release of his misery. 
He’s missed you. So very much, he’s missed you. He doesn’t know how he has managed to go so long without you now that you are here again, now that he is holding you again, kissing you again. 
“My king,” you whimper when you get a chance to break away, foreheads bumping as Sukuna shushes you gently.
“Do not fret, peach,” he soothes you, lips brushing yours as his now loving gaze spills into your own. “You are alright.”
Despite Sukuna’s ruthlessness and his wild murderous expeditions, as well as his blood-curdling tone that further accentuates the weight of his threats when thrown into the direction of others, Sukuna melts into calmness for you, his low voice mellow and meditative, enraptured in the peace that you bring him. You know all sides of your dear husband, and yet this is the rawest side of him that you know, that he treats you with. 
“What happened?” you whisper as his hands run over you, catching your tears and tracing the curves of your flesh. “Where are we?”
“In the garden,” he answers you easily, kissing the corner of your mouth gently. 
“At… at home?” 
He hums in affirmation, leaning back just a bit to stare into you. The pairs of your eyes shine as they absorb the image of one another, still and sincere. Grass tickles your ears and your arms, and you look down, realizing that you are lying in a patch of greenery. You slowly tilt your head to the side, and Sukuna keeps his gaze glued to you like you will disappear before him. Your eyes capture the stems of daffodils and lavender that sprout around your head, pointing into the night sky and swaying gently in the warm breeze. You recognize the plants as the ones you had always taken to tending by the creek behind Sukuna’s temple, which he had the servants fashion as a suitable garden for you to indulge in. 
You do not recall being here last. You recall dying. You recall your world going dark.
You turn back to meet his heavy eyes. “What did you do?”
He is silent for a moment, taking his time to study you before answering as though the question is the simplest one he has ever been asked. “I have brought my queen back to me. As I have always sworn to do if we were ever separated.”
“...How long have we been separated?”
“It does not matter.”
“How long was I away from you, Ryo? How long did I leave you for?”
“It does not matter,” he reiterates gently yet ever so firmly. “Do not think of it.”
“Please-” you frown, eyes shining over again. “I hadn’t- I didn’t mean to leave you. I don’t know how I even let it happen… I can’t imagine what that must have gone through…”
Ryomen catches the guilt in your gorgeous eyes and he is quick to gather you up in his arms. He pulls you up slowly, keeping your eyes locked as you allow him to lift you from the ground with his arms wound tightly over your waist. Your hands go to Sukuna’s shoulders as he kneels over you, keeping you steady and upright, face to face, nose to nose, eye to eye. 
“I refuse to allow the first thing you do in reincarnated life to be reminding me of what life was like without you,,” he says. “I do not wish to revisit it. It does not matter,” he repeats for a third time. 
You tilt your head with the tug of your lips downward sadly, threading your hands through his pink locks and holding onto the nape of his neck. The moonlight milks over you regally, as though the stars have aligned for this very moment, to illuminate you both in the universe’s joyous eye. You swallow hard. “Am I a curse?”
“You are my wife. I will not tolerate you labeling yourself as anything different..”
You inhale deeply, bringing your forehead back to him and closing your eyes. His arms pull you in tight, rhythmic breaths easing you into this reality complacent, affectionately, lovingly. 
“I’m sorry I left you, my love,” you murmur.
Now that he’s heard you apologize, seen your remorse sparked by something out of your control, he doesn’t fare well with it. 
You are not a plague to him, a burden, and telling him that you are sorry in his mind now insinuates such. Even after leaving him, after stealing away his warmth, after haunting his slumber and his consciousness for eons, he does not fault you. He would never fault the woman he chose to keep by his side in wellness and in death. 
He does not accept your apology. You have done nothing but love him, yet Sukuna is the one who should have protected you. 
He runs a hand over the back of your head, down your hair, and exudes his message of impenetrable love to you through his embrace and sweltering red eyes. “All I ask of you is that you stay. In this era and the next. Stay by my side as you are meant to be.”
You nod eagerly against him. “I will,” you whisper. “I will, I promise.”
Sukuna reaches down at his side for the ring he had set down. With one hand to your back, he pulls your wedding band forward and presents it to your twinkling eye. You gasp. 
“You still have it,” you sigh.
“In what world would I not?” 
You bring your hand down, spreading your fingers, and you watch as the kind of curses slips the rusted treasure over your finger, fitting it perfectly into place with the renewal of your marriage and the reunion of your hearts.
You admire the way it looks upon your hand happily, and Sukuna drags you back into his lips, pecking you tenderly before moving back in with his hands firm to you. You shift further up so that his arms can completely take you in, heads bumping as your lips swim together in commemoration of a rebirth into a new life.
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