#but thats not people are complaining about

[enbysiriusblack]

Is it possible for me to get some jilypad headcanons

ofc !!

james is in love with them both but thinks it's cheating to have those feelings so pretends to himself all he feels for sirius is platonic

lily has always thought sirius was massively hot & when she becomes friends she develops a full on crush

sirius has been in love with james since he can remember. & falls for lily when they become friends

they're all very much outside people. which means like. they have a huge garden & its very wellkept with a lot to do there, but also they go on hikes together & go out constantly, going to gigs and the cinema and festivals and all that

they're all very naturally smart but lily still studies a bit & so they sit with her whilst she does so but james is doodling them both & sirius is reading a random book about some obscure niche subject he's obsessed with atm

they're all cunts 🫶🫶

their favorite activity with each other: sirius/lily- gossiping, sirius/james- illegal activity, lily/james- sports/strategy

lily thinks cooking & baking is 'practically same thing as potion making' (because of that, james or sirius cook,, esp after an unfortunate incident where she was multitasking both activities at the same time & got them mixed up)

lily & sirius love camping & shit & james agrees to go and then promptly complains (he's a pretty princess thats very much used to the finer things in life🫶🫶) until he turns into prongs and they decorate his antlers with flowers

lily & james watch sirius fixing up his bike cause they find it hot but also sirius watches lily & james work out cause he finds it hot

james wakes up first and kisses both their cheeks before getting ready for the day, lily wakes up next and kisses sirius's cheek before getting ready for the day. however at night, james falls asleep first and they both kiss his cheek. then lily falls asleep next & sirius kisses' her cheek

sirius & lily like to have heated debates whilst james watches and moderates (he found its a good method to stay neutral & not pick a side)

hottest throuple ever.

[antisocialsharky]

Parents who Love their Kids Cause PDs too

The belief, that only parents who absolutely despise their kids, can cause said kids to develop a personality disorder, is a dangerous misconception.

This belief majorly stems from the facts, that:

1. People think parents who love their children do everything right & parents who hate their children do everything wrong and

2. People think, trauma can only be caused intentionally & maliciously.

Which is both bullshit btw! Let me tell you why:

1. Parents who "love" (however you define that) their children often tend to think that this love is:

• always visible and obvious to the child => therefore the child never has to question that they're loved

• a sign that everything they do is done in the name of said love => therefore no action/behavior can be wrong/abusive/bad because they didn't mean it maliciously, it was done out of love

• a reason that the child should/will forgive them for any wrongdoings and that the simple existence of this love is enough to make the child happy => therefore the child has no reason to feel unloved, no reason to complain and no reason to cut them off

Many parents do not realize, that they rely on their child automatically knowing of this emotions existence to such a degree, that they fail to verbally communicate it often enough, fail to make their actions show said love and fail to acknowledge that something done out of love, does not equal it being good or non harmful.

To give you a personal example here: My parents love me, absolutely! They'd lay down their life for mine in a heartbeat.

But when I was growing up, their actions did not always reflect that. I went years without hearing the words and whenever I tried to communicate, that I felt unloved, I only got to hear that I was being ridiculous. According to them I had food to eat, a roof over my head and two living parents that didn't beat me, so I should be happy.

They expected me to know that they provided these things for me out of love and that that should be enough to satisfy my emotional needs. It wasn't and it rarely is.

Loving your child is worth shit, if you don't make sure to remind your child of that love frequently. Its worth shit, if you fail to pay attention and fail to show up for this child. Love alone doesn't win you the "greatest parent" award.

Similarly, a lack of love, doesn't immediately mean that you're a horrible parent. You can not feel love for your children and still make decisions that are benefitial for those children. You can not feel love for them and still be a parent that doesn't ever raise their hands against them, which will make you "better" than many loving parents who do raise their hands against their kids. The emotional feelings towards your children do not determine your ability to be a good parent, at least not inherently.

There is nuance, when it comes to children needing to have their emotional needs met and being able to sense whether its genuine or not, but if someone is good at faking emotions, one could make their child feel loved, without ever personally feeling that love (=> arguments can be made about whether or not the child will be able to understand the goodwill behind the faking and will be able to value that the parent did that for their benefit, instead of being sad about there not being emotional love, but thats not the point of this post).

What I am trying to say is this:

• parents who love their children are capable of not meeting their childs emotional needs

• parents who love their children are capable of doing things that end up hurting their children

• parents who love their children are capable of being so caught up in chores, work, relationship problems, etc. that they accidentally neglect their children

• parents who love their children are capable of doing things, that they may see as "good", "character building", "helpful for later", etc. but which will do more damage than good

• parents who love their children are capable of pushing them away by being too controlling, too smothering and too invested

Being a parent isn't easy, but love alone is not the recipe for producing non traumatized well adjusted children. Thats all I wanna tell you right here. Theres always nuance and reasons why things may go wrong, but in the end love doesn't protect against that.

2. Trauma isn't always caused maliciously & intentionally. That much is probably already obvious from the previous paragraphs, but I'll get into it regardless.

If a parent works two jobs, has arguments with their partner at the side, needs to do most of the chores and has two children (one maybe at toddler age, the other a teenager), one (or both) of those children might end up experiencing accidental neglect. Theres only so much a human being can do & devote their time to and while you can set priorities, sometimes you will accidentally neglect a child, because you have no time to do their homework with them, you have no time to go to the park and play with them, you're too tired to listen to them babble on about their interests, you're too distracted to properly congratulate them about their good grades and you're not present enough to realize they're always alone and barely leave their room anymore. Maybe you fail to realize health concerns, conflicts with their friends, arguments between the kids, etc. All the while you're trying your hardest to provide for your children and balance your own life. Accidental neglect is a thing.

If a parent was brought up by an emotionally colder parent or an absent parent or a combination of that, they may have never learned how one properly cares for a childs emotional needs.

They may think they turned out fine, because they have a job, they have a house and a family, everything they're supposed to achieve, so why should they bring you up any differently than they were themselves? Maybe they even saw some youtube videos and facebook posts on how kids these days are all sensitive little things and can't manage their lifes anymore. Maybe the parent makes it their misguided mission to make sure their own kids are resilient and strong, just like they are, so they have a good chance of success and survival.

They don't tell the kids they love them. They don't comfort them when they're sad. They don't hug them. They don't allow big emotional tantrums. They harshly punish bad grades and mistakes, because if the kid is to succeed and survive, the parents needs to help it stay on the path. That parent loves their child and expresses this love in a misguided attempt at helping it succeed in life and be even better off than they were. Accidental/misguided emotional neglect (and abuse if u wanna call it that) is a thing.

I could go on about this for ages! Theres a million different situations in which parents try their hardest and best to give their kids a good life and help them succeed, but still have their children turn out traumatized.

Theres side factors like being marginalized, bullying, a lack of resources, other relatives being unhelpful/abusive, kids & parents being disabled in some way, etc.

All the love a parent holds for their child, cannot save the kid from being traumatized and it cannot save the kid from developing a personality disorder later in life.

If love (the emotion) is to be effective, it needs to be followed up by actions. Meeting a childs emotional/physical/developmental needs isn't done by holding a certain feeling for the child & especially not if you never make sure the child understands how you show & give that love to them.

By now, you might be thinking "Yeah okay sure, I suppose I already knew that much, but why are we talking about it this in the first place?"

Good question and theres multiple answers to it:

• Some parents will still not acknowledge that they have the capacity to hurt their kids. Many of them place more value in being labeled as/feeling like a "good parent" than they do in actually...producing a healthy well adjusted child. They believe themselves immune to causing their child trauma, simply based on "loving the child" and "providing food/shelter" and thats dangerous.

• Many people regularely get invalidated in personality disorder centered spaces, or also trauma spaces in general, if they have contact with their parents/have now build a healthy relationship with them, etc. Even other PDers/trauma survivors have not understood, that being loved by your parents doesn't equal a good childhood and doesn't mean that you can't be traumatized by them to the degree of developing a PD.

• Many professionals do not realize the amount of impact, that emotional neglect can have and often blame the patient for hiding in their room, being too hard on their parents, being sensitive, etc.

• Many PDers/trauma survivors also invalidate themselves because of this! They may think "was it really that bad if my parents loved me?" or "is it even valid/am I allowed to be hurt by it, if my parents didn't mean to do that?". Its challenging to hold space for both: the acknowledgement that they were loved & the pain wasn't caused intentionally, as well as their own valid feelings of having been/still being hurt by it.

• Additionally theres many people who worry that their muted emotions/difficulties developing actual bonds, may cause them to be bad parents, since they cannot love their children in the conventional way. For them it might be important to hear, that actions usually speak louder than the emotions they were motivated by and that loving your child doesn't equal being a good parent, so not loving it doesn't equal being a bad parent.

A few closing notes:

• "love" is used here in the "societal definiton" way, or more the way people seem to use it to mean "unconditional lovey dovey feelings towards one or more people". love, is of course deeply personal and for many already includes the actions one takes to show said love. I use the general idea of it here, since thats often the way parents kinda mean it when they say it (+/- the part of providing the survival essentials of shelter and food or other material things..yk for arguments sake)

• everyone has a different opinion on whether or not children can/should be brought up by people, who can't feel love for them and whether said people can meet the childrens emotional needs. I think that if ppl who do love their kids are sometimes not capable of meeting their childrens emotional needs, having or not having the capacity to love, seems to not be an inherent guarantee to excell or suck at meeting a kids needs. therefore theres no reason to think that every person with an incapacity for emotional love will suck at meeting someones emotional needs. I mean its the same as with empathy, having a lack of that doesn't make you inherently suck at comforting people or being a good friend now, does it? its always individual.

• in the place of every "parent", you can of course put "caregiver" or whichever word fits your situation! its easier to just do the arguments with parents here, but it does of course extend to any person who takes care of a child.

• this is also not meant to be a post, that tells parents they always suck, or tell them that their love is worthless or whatever. you can see it more as a reminder, that love alone isn't enough if its just what you feel for someone. I mean...no romantic or platonic relationship will work well if you just love your partner/friend and pay rent and maybe cook a meal here and there. partners/friends have emotional & physical needs they need met and so do children. an emotion alone doesn't do that and especially not if you assume that its always known how you feel! children are individuals that have & understand different love languages and being a parent doesn't inherently mean you know what your child needs. you gotta actually ask it and interact with it in order to get to know your child and then act on that knowledge.

first posted on my instagram (same @)

[blusical]

outside of his occasional outbursts on ice, he got in a bit of hot water over some uh... interesting tweets from 2013.

though honestly, while the tweets were pretty damn insensitive, they were also years ago. i don't get why we need to drag someone over some off-color shit he said as a teenager.

can someone please explain why everyone hates binnington so much because i don’t get it

[walnutcookie]

So what made you do the tos au? I think it’s really creative!

Its inevitable that i make aus of all of my favorite characters and every new media that i really like i dont know why i just. Always get The Urges to see my faves in different settings and scenarios HAH

i really like making aus because i think its fun to come up with new storylines and designs and such building off of existing media... i know a lot of people complain about aus that stray far from canon because "why not just make ocs? its hardly even like the orginal anymore!!!" oh well lalalala i do this purely for fun i dont do it for it to be Original or Good i just. think its fun to see my little guys but different GDBKDBF

SO . to answer your question. I kind of just make AUs constantly and post about them for a few days to a few months and then make a new one and the cycle continues, tos was my next au fixation.... i have SO many more aus than tos but this is the one thats gotten very popular and uuh. adhd positive feedback loop or something ive just been super uber motivated to make stuff for it and people like it so i keep posting about my sillies LOLLL

All of my aus are just incredibly self indulgent and filled with things that I Find Cool Or Interesting and tos is no exception to that. you can definitely see the theme park/animatronic autism in there and hints of the musical instrument autism....

Thank you so much btw!!! :DD

[mynameis-a]

i'm convinced that everyone on the internet is lying about hot glue guns

i've touched the molten glue multiple times

i've literally put the molten glue directly onto my fingers on multiple occasions

and its really not that bad.

[idolomantises]

Rewatching Adventure Time, I can't help but think so much Princess Bubblegum discourse would be non-existent if people actually watched the show to completion instead of randomly hyperfocusing on some of PB's bad deeds.

There's a very bizarre and commonly held belief that Princess Bubblegum did terrible things and got away with it, that nobody held her accountable. When the show makes a point, repeatedly, that Princess Bubblegum is well meaning but deeply flawed, and to some characters, straight up evil.

I see fans point to "The Cooler" a lot as proof that PB is an irredeemable character, and while it is her worst act in the entire show.... I think people forgot that that was the point. Near the end of the episode she stops spying on people in Ooo because it was an invasion of privacy. In another episode she's called out for exploiting some aliens and lets them go. She feels ashamed that her own people are terrified of her. She loses her entire kingdom, and realizes she needs to get her shit together.

I'm pretty critical of shows that are way too lenient on flawed female characters but Princess Bubblegum isn't one of them. She's awesome, and heavily misunderstood.

[ganeshpnf]

I agree that no one can insult a child, like wtf- What did she even do? Thats soo pathetic 😭

But finding the exact same fancast for any of the character is literally impossible so people just mostly tries their best when it comes to her, and her fancasts are actually very old and used by the fandom for years. They almost all have straight hair and pale. I mean tbh who can even find a fancast with grey eyes and blond hair anyway, people just pick how they see her generally.

Rick talked about the tan and her hair before actually and thats why her official art work is very pale. He explained that tan wears off so she is not tan in the rest of the books. She has deep tan logically in the first book bcs she stayed at the camp for like 5 years and tan is not permanent. And about her hair, Rick said she visioned her hair curly first, then straight then wavy. Thats why she has straigh hair in the book covers and graphic novels and wavy hair in Magnus Chase. Hair style can change and she can easily style it, thats his defense and it makes sense.

So I dont understand the complain of book Annabeth's fancasts. Especially since fans started to attack each other on pjotwt again today. Ofc people would pick white blond girls they see, possible in museum with a cap on because like I said its literally impossible to find.

But if they do it like "see, this is the only Annabeth and Leah is not." Then it is wrong, just like the other way is. We dont need to have this stupid arguments really. Book Annabeth is white and yes its canon. But Leah can play her in the tv show just fine since its an adaptation and she can be black in there, whats the big deal.

Pjotwt and fans in general should leave Annabeth Chase alone in general.

Bro it's funny how some people who insult Leah as Annabeth and do their fancasts being like "this is book accurate Annabeth" bc it's not true lol. If you want a "book accurate" Annabeth, then, according to the descriptions, she needs a tan, to be athletic, curly hair, grey eyes and to be like 6 feet tall. Y'all are just picking the first white, pale, skinny blonde girl with straight hair and blue eyes you see. That's not "book accurate". You just want a white Annabeth. And it reeks of something.

[pivsketch]

found some barney sketches from nov 2023 and added some more. been a while since ive drawn my favorite crowbar dispenser

[bread-wizards]

I actually think Dorian and Orym should fight more.

Remember when their slowly building tension over and entire episode (full of passive aggressive remarks and blame throwing) led to threats? And how after, Orym thanked Dorian for handing over the crown sadly because he knew Dorian would be mad at him? And Dorian couldn't even look at him because he was legitimately hurt, thinking Orym was disappointed in him for doing what he thought was right? That was peak.

The fact they went from that to their current closeness and trust is the best part of their entire dynamic. Their relationship was hard fought and still will be. They will fight for it because they respect and care for one another deeply, and their disagreements don't change that, only improve it.

[victarin]

i fucking love people here you guys see this dinnerplate-faced daycare animatronic and go "what if they were detectives" and you make all this amazing astounding art and writing and concepts and designs like yeah . sure . im going to be normal abt this and im not going to think about the incredible levels of creativity involved im not gointg to think about how much i love seeing beginner artists using the dca as a way to learn new skills in art and character design Im not going to think about how much joy is in all those AUs and how much artists and writers put aspects of whatever they enjoy in those stupid ass clowns to make these incredible inspired stories and artworks absolutely Brimming with love for what they created &how much i love seeing people in the community huddling around those AUs and hyping them up and making More Art from those yeah im normal. whatever

[oifaaa]

The way some people act like coffee addict is the most outrageous piece of fanon regarding Tim is so funny to me bc idk about the rest of you but I hardly actually encounter people who genuinely think he's addicted to coffee or if I do they don't constantly bring it up but you know what people do constantly bring up baby 7 year old stalker on the streets of Gotham with a camera Tim

[libraryspectre]

I have a tip for people who struggle to do things. I struggle to do things because of depression, but this might also help if you have executive dysfunction? Idk!

I don't usually listen to an audiobook or podcast at home because I can't sit still and listen. Sometimes I will while crafting, but this seems to work as long as I'm not crafting to begin with.

I will put on a podcast or audiobook to keep me company during a specific task, like cleaning out the fridge. What I find is that once I'm done with the intial task, if I am sufficiently engrossed in what I'm listening to, I will naturally come up with other things to do so I can keep listening. If I sit down and be still, the story stops, so I need to keep going. So I might as well clean the bathroom.

What's amazing about this is that it's the only thing I've found that keeps cleaning from feeling like an unpleasant slog. Something about flipping the switch from "I'm listening so I can clean" to "I'm cleaning so I can listen" makes it so much more bearable.

This tends to fall apart as soon as I need a break to sit or eat, or if what I'm listening to isn't interesting enough, but usually I get like three times as much work done as I planned initially.

I'm posting this because I hope it might help someone else, and also because for some reason I've never purposefully exploited this loophole, it's just kind of happened a few times. But I'm thinking I should try to make it happen on purpose.

[bionicboxes]

I think a core internet experiences is- YES, people are allowed to not like or enjoy the thing *I* like, but they have to dislike it CORRECTLY.

If I watch a youtuber not read any dialogue and then complain about the story not making any sense I'm seething. If I see a youtuber read all the dialogue and then still be like 'this story is shit' I'm like 'lmao yeah fair.'

It's all about knowing that the person actually gave it a fair chance and aren't just going into it already disinterested

[budugaapologist]

still dont see how so many people say that dawntrail is poorly written in comparison to other expansions like. what, did you realize you had to learn about a new culture and immediately not care anymore lmao? you've done it before, was this one not white enough for you?

genuinely i think more people should do side quests during msq so idk you can form a heart about the characters you're interacting with if you struggle with that and understand the land better so when impactful shit happens your illiterate ass can actually read and have empathy. theres no excuse for this.

if you can't handle storybuilding and character introductions from the expansion that feels like stormblood and shadowbringers had passionate gay sex that got one of them pregnant and birthed a beautiful daughter they both love and care about then idk what to tell you, maybe youre just lame and can't read. best of luck with that.

[atthebell]

i feel like this is obvious but the biggest reason spiderbit isn't actually the top ship on tumblr (that spot belongs to fitpac/hideduo, obviously, for reasons that are about to make sense) is because neither of them are primarily english speakers and they didn't speak english on stream or to each other. and also there are so few spanish speakers on this website it's not even funny like the lack of tripoiers is and has always been depressing as fuck. AND mono eng speakers everywhere but especially here apparently are incapable of engaging with non-english language content of any kind

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

No Homo. Just committed to the bit.

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