#but that's on the agenda at some point

[nebulousfishgills]

People treat Baldur's Gate 3 like a dating sim sometimes, they spend so long painstakingly trying to seduce their favorite characters and sometimes screw it up.

Meanwhile somehow someway I manage to seduce Lae'zel by complete accident.

[prlssprfctn]

Every time another joke about Batman/Bruce Wayne passes by me, I can't help but imagine that the whole rumour about these two dating was originally (and probably accidentally) created by Bruce himself.

Just imagine, a teen Bruce, still only starting with his vigilante career, makes a crucial mistake - he pays with his own credit card in front of people, while being Batman. A stupid, absolutely instinctive mistake, but in his defence he wasn't sleeping normally for a week, and had an open wound in his stomach that day, so. Whoops.

And then someone asks Bruce Wayne about it, in front of a thousand cameras. And he blurts out the first thing that comes to his mind.

Reporter: So, mister Wayne, recently citizens had reported that they saw Batman paying for the damage in the city... with your credit card. Care to explain details behind this?

Bruce, smiling stupidly: Oh, he is my ex. I sometimes sponsor him.

The crowd: (goes wild)

Alfred, starting at the interview back in the Batcave: ...We are never going to get rid of this, are we?

And guess what? They don't!

Bruce thinks that with time passing, with his love interests switching and new rumours spawning in the world, they might forget about it. He was young, he was stupid - he fucked up, alright?

But decades pass. He has a whole football team of kids. Everyone still ship Bruce and Batman.

And when this stupid video accidentally gets resurfaced on the internet again, his family goes insane. They start creating even more stupid rumours on galas.

Reporter: Mister Wayne... For years now, the crowds are speculating... Who is exactly your mother, and where is she now?

Damian, sighing pitifully: My father and my mother don't enjoy contacting each other, sadly. My mom says that their relationship was just a rebound; father desperately tries to forget Batman... Still, to this day.

Bruce, gripping the glass of champagne: ...

Talia, watching this interview with Ra's: Now, that's my son right there.

Dick: Oh, why I was screaming at Batman in the middle of the street a few days ago? Oh, this bastard- I mean, this respectable vigilante, he dared to get in the argument with Bruce. He can't really leave him alone, really! They are so insane about each other... So toxic, but so, uh, captivating... But you know, Bruce! He has such a fragile heart...

Gotham: Aw-w, poor mister Wayne!

Bruce, sighing: Jesus Christ.

Tim, shaking his head to the camera: I hate Red Robin, really. Did you know that his existence is just a direct offence to my father? Yeah, actually, Batman took this kid under his wing with another man - I am not going to tell who - to make dad jealous. This is disgusting!

Jason, who returned from the death by pretending that all this time he was under the child protection system after becoming an accidental witness of the second Robin's death: Oh, yeah, it was tough... Poor kid exploded in front of my eyes! Reporter: But, mister Todd-Wayne, what were you doing in that warehouse?

Jason, wiping fake tears: They were like my divorced parents, you know... Batman and Bruce. Batman really tried to mend things with dad back then, and wanted me to like him... We just wanted to spend some time together with him, and that Robin kid... God, it was terrible... Batman refuses to contact me now. I miss my second dad...

Bruce, back in the Batcave, watching as Batman's reputation goes lower and lower: ........................... Alfred: Well, master Bruce... Bruce: Not a word. Al. Please.

[captainfairygodmother]

I need Crystal to casually mention something about a relationship with a girl in front of the boys, and then Charles is like "Wait, I thought you liked guys?" and then Crystal says, "Oh, I'm bisexual, I like both" and Charles is like "YOU CAN DO THAT?????" because I saw someone mention that bisexuality was not widely known in the 80s, so Charles might not even know that you can be bi.

And naturally this is followed by Charles having a bi crisis.

[snoozerin]

nonsensical yuri. not expecting anyone to get it im just making shit up💜

[stefisdoingthings]

silence

also this is from Wolfwood's POV (in case it isn't clear) i have 0 normal thoughts (every song ever is VW)

[just-null]

im so mad at u omg

how dare u make my noritoshi obsession 10 times worse

Noritoshi spews his true feelings when you're upset with him. Similar to a very eager puppy trying to regain your favor by any means...... but realizes what he says and blames you for turning him into a fool. Another downside for him is that he won't take his words back in fear of you getting the wrong idea.

you're just a bully that he hopes will forget about the embarrassing words he blurted out.

hes simultaneously reeling and embarrassed. is this what happens when you make your love upset? does that imply he's your love?!

[oceaneyesinla]

It's soft about Chuuya hours again (jk when is it NOT?)

Imagine him coming home late. Maybe the boss had him running a mission, maybe he was finishing off paperwork. Either way, he's home later than usual.

Late enough that he thinks you'll be fast asleep in the bed you share. You sent him a text a couple of hours ago, then nothing. So he's expecting you all wrapped up in his blankets. He's planning to change into pyjamas and slip into bed with you immediately, desperate to cuddle you close.

Then he steps into the main room, and sees the reading light on the side table is still on. He moves to turn it off, but he stops in his tracks when he sees you. You can't be comfortable - face pressed against the cushions and body twisted into an awkward position, as if you were so tired you fell asleep in the middle of something. The book on the floor is another little clue of what you were doing.

You fell asleep waiting for him. And if that isn't just the sweetest thing he's ever seen. You look so cute, lips slightly open and sleepy little snuffles leaving you every so often as you cuddle your own arm. He can't help but smile as he moves to gently shake you awake. He hates to do it, but you're still in your day clothes, and he knows how pouty you get when you don't get to properly welcome him home.

He's so soft as he brushes your hair out of your face, and he melts when you stir and realise it's him, because the smile you give him could power Yokohama for a week, even if it's a little sleepy and your eyes are still half closed.

He shephards you into the bedroom and makes sure you're wearing something comfy (if he deliberately puts you in his clothes, no-one will ever know but him)

When you're both nice and dressed for bed, he makes sure you're both under the covers, smiling once again when you immediately tuck yourself into his arms, snuggling into his chest as your breathing evens out. He can't help but press one last kiss to your head before he closes his eyes. He just loves you so much.

[gay-jesus-probably]

I like the general fandom trend to just take the plot of Hyrule Warriors as a loose guideline at best and just use the whole concept as a good excuse to get blorbos to interact across timelines, BUT I'm very disappointed that everyone is missing the comedic potential of a very specific squad of characters:

Young Link (aka Mask), who walks out of the nightmare of Majora's Mask and immediately gets portal kidnapped into a temporal war, takes one look at the whole mess and decides that you could not fucking pay him to admit to being the resident expert on Time Shenanigans. He introduces himself with the title of Hero of Termina, and definitely doesn't have any other ones, that would be crazy. Hero of Time? Never heard of him.

Tetra, who is a kickass pirate captain with zero patience for people trying to shove her into the Designated Princess role, and realizes immediately that Oh Fuck, this Hyrule has a lot of Ideas about how the Hero and the Princess are supposed to properly play their parts, the second they realize she's technically a Zelda they're gonna shove her in a goddamn dress and damsel her again, that's not happening. So she's definitely just a really cool pirate captain, nothing else going on here at all, definitely not the heir of the Hylian royal family in her time, that'd be crazy.

Ravio, who is literally just a palette swapped Link, meaning that the second his hood comes off, things are gonna get Awkward. There's no way in hell he's dealing with all that Hero baggage, that's Link work, so that giant bunny hood/mask is practically superglued to his head, and he's not taking it off for love or money.

Spirit Tracks Zelda, who is just in the Phantom Armour the whole time, and passing herself off as just a friendly ghost posessing a suit of armour to help the Hero of Spirits. Of course she isn't Princess Zelda, that's ridiculous, if she were a Zelda then people would start getting really weird about her technically being dead, and boy does that ever sound like a whole Thing she doesn't want to deal with, so she can't possibly be Zelda, she's just a nice ghost knight. Also, her teenage grandma is here, and that's kinda weird, so it's easier to just not admit to being royalty and avoid that awkward conversation.

Finally there's Sheik, who is not the Princess Zelda of the era straight up abandoning her war torn country for months at a time so she can risk her life in extreme cosplay for no clear reason, but is instead the actual Sheik from Ocarina of Time, who just beat Ganondorf like a month ago and is still trying to process what the fuck to do now. Also, he's been pretending to be a boy since he was ten, and is realizing there's a pretty good chance that he isn't pretending anymore, so that's a whole other can of worms. But for the last seven years of his life, being Princess Zelda meant certain death, so he's not really inclined to introduce himself like when in a new and stressful situation (not to mention he might actually just not be a girl named Zelda anymore), so he automatically introduces himself as just Sheik the spooky ninja man, and fuck he's in too deep to back out now, looks like he's committing to the bit. If you think you sense the Triforce of Wisdom on him, no you don't.

Cue shenanigans as the five of them attempt to hide that they're all actually kind of A Big Deal. The group motto is "Nobody says shit", which is usually delivered as a frantic hiss whenever someone slips up. Just the reunion between Sheik and Mask alone would be absolutely buckwild given how they parted, and how they're both frantically pretending to Not be involved with each other. For added hilarity and/or drama, Sheik gives his semi-bullshit cover story of having just been a friend of the Hero of Time, then runs into said Hero of Time and they both have to desperately pretend not to know each other, because if anyone picks up on the mountain of baggage between them then Mask is busted, and he won't hesitate to drag Sheik down with him out of sheer spite. Not to mention the weird balance of Sheik being used to this Link being a teenager that's actually a small child, and now has to adjust to Link who is a small child that's actually a teenager.

Also, i really feel like we're all missing out on the comedy potential of Ganondorf recognizing Young Link on sight and the two of them immediately launching into a grudge match with some extremely personal and specific insults on both sides. Meanwhile literally everybody else is just standing there watching, trying to process the fact that out of every single person that's been pulled out of time, Ganondorf only has personal beef with a literal nine year old.

I just feel like we're all really sleeping on the potential for Shenanigans here. The whole thing is an absurd mess, why not have some fun with it?

[ptanalo]

They are forever in their honeymoon era 🫶

[jaijeijayjei]

Open letter to ppl who think MelVik is a crackship or would be OOC

"Viktor would never be close with someone like Mel"

Viktor respected and worked for Heimerdinger, the founder of Piltover who has been complicit in Zaunite suffering for literal centuries. Viktor continues to care for and respect Jayce, who has been explicitly classist towards Zaun several times*. Is it so hard to believe he could form a bond with Mel?

"Though we became enemies Mel, your support will never be forgotten" (League)

"Mel, as one embraced by the Arcane, you now know the true value of Hextech." (League)

"The arcane stirs within you." (S2 Ep 8)

These lines have no hint of resentment- Viktor shows appreciation her support and comments on their common experiences with the Arcane. Viktor and Jayce benefitted from Mel's sponsorship for years.** She was also the first to vote for Zaun's liberation and was the only councilor not to argue against it- they were never enemies.

"Mel and Viktor are too different"

"You claim to desire 'peace'; but it seems our definition may differ."

Mel and Viktor are more similar than meets the eye: they both value peace and dislike violence. Yes Mel had a lapse in judgement when she suggested weapons, but she is consistently shown to have pacifistic ideals.*** Viktor was misguided with the Glorious Evolution, but he always had good intentions and only wanted to eliminate human suffering.

I get it, MelVik isn't everyone's cup of tea. However, AFAIK most of the reasons people dislike them mischaracterizes Mel and Viktor's dynamic in canon. Their relationship was heavily implied to be that of friendly acquaintances at best or impersonal business partners at worst.

*Ordered a blockade on the bridge, called Zaunites dangerous, "it's hard to believe what they're capable of," upset with Viktor for going to Zaun, consented to the invasion and was presumably aware of Cait's plans, etc.

**Exiled from Noxus because of her "soft-spined idealism," pleaded with her mother to be merciful with the captive princess, "Compassion does not beget weakness," "You don't know war- I do... there may be a diplomatic solution," "A nation that prizes strength, yet thrives on bloodshed, is not one I can proudly call my own”, etc.

***"Mel only wanted Hextech for herself" Mel directly says why she sponsored them- "Two brilliant young inventors, with a penchant for impossible surprises. Carrying magic from myth to machine. Rallying the hopes and hearts of a nation." (S2 Ep8) She saw incredible potential in Jayce and Viktor and believed in their potential to do something good for the world.

[mishiami]

seen a lot of fem skk lately thought i'd share my 15 fem skk designs

[anxiouslowercase]

sas rh: let eoin survive the fall au » jollies with mixed-up pairs

"Look after him, yeah?" "Oh, I'm not the wee child who needs supervision, am I?" "Don't let him do anything I wouldn't do." "Respectfully, from what I've seen, Lieutenant McGonigal - you're not exactly limiting his options much with that."

[ominous-horse-noises]

main takeaway from certain fan reactions to the finale is this:

the final scene with ankarna was so meaningful to the bad kids' arcs and how they made peace with being wronged by people they loved, and if all you can focus on is that the rat grinders didn't get much screentime, then you don't love dimension20 and you don't love this world: you want to be playing your own hs themed dnd campaign and you're mad the oc versions of the rat grinders you made up in your head acted ooc. these are not your characters and this is not their story.

[holographic-mars]

I want Soundwave to have cat pupils like the center part of his optic where it’s lighter than the rest dilates and contract like cats do

[batsyheere]

It is infinitely more funny if both Sasuke and Sakura realized they don't function as well without Naruto and meanwhile Naruto function more efficiently with others.

As in, Naruto without proper support and understanding still succeeded- almost flourished. Naruto with proper support and understanding?

The minute someone figures out that all Naruto needs is a basic grasp of reading its over for Konoha. He has been enlightened and now he is free. Because Naruto, despite being a rather good example of work ethic and actively working to achieve skills, is also a genius. He manages to learn skills or make leaps in jugement canonically that others don't, and honestly the only things holding him back are the sabotage of his education and how stupid shinobi can be.

So the minute in a fanfic Naruto gets even a drop of support and he blossoms, and he starts making leaps and leaving behind his teammates? It is hilarious to witness a duo previously hyperfixated on their own two things, suddenly switching it up when they see that people are suddenly interested in Naruto. That he is suddenly appealing to others, that people think they have a right to his time.

Suddenly Naruto isn't there when training ends, or leaves after missions to "help a friend", he doesn't offer to get ramen with them or even to find more ways to mess with their sensei. And even when they hang out, he's distant- no longer dumb, no longer reliant, sometimes he does things he says he learned from other teachers or even by observing. No longer loud, or distracting Sakura from the way Sasuke isn't perfect, or rivaling Sasuke and giving him chances to grow stronger. He doesn't get upset when Sasuke still beats him at taijutsu, or how Sakura is still better at chakra control, and doesn't brag when he is good at something.

"I guess I just realized we each have our own strengths," Naruto says when they both corner him about it. "And I want to make sure I can keep you both safe because you're my team- you're all I have. Like family. So yeah, I want to learn everything I can do."

And Kakashi learns two things after Sasuke and Sakura have their realizations and new resolutions.

First, that neither Sakura nor Sasuke were in anyway sane and whatever had made them snap was only positive in that it hadn't turned them against Konoha and thus, he did not have to handle them.

And second; He suddenly doesn't have to worry about weird love triangles but does have to worry about suitors and Sasuke and Sakura's reactions to them.

[potatobugz]

here are a bunch of doodles i did during the process of writing tptbu chapter 2 <|:)