#but that's not the case for many folks!

[aro-culture-is]

is there like. an actual way to know if you’re emotionally attached to someone or if youre feeling romantic attraction towards them. because im currently dating someone (who knows im arospec just doesnt know that im questioning fully aro) and i care about them, but saying i love them doesnt feel right?? its not that i DONT, but it just seems so.. romantic i guess?? i wouldnt mind doing “romantic things” with them but at the same time i dont know if thats just related to like queerplatonic attraction i guess?? AHG I JUST DONT KNOW 😭😭

unfortunately, it's up to you to decide how you interpret your feelings.

bearing in mind i'm an extremely STEM type of person, i personally find it comforting to recognize that we're trying to classify chemical brain soup into some distinct boxes, and there's going to just be some things that we interpret into a miscellaneous pile. it's like packing - yeah, ideally everything has One Place, but realistically? sometimes you just gotta put things where they come with you, perfect placement be damned. yeah, maybe it would be nice if - for example - you could easily sort hand lotion into either nighttime things, bathroom things, or things to carry with you... but sometimes it's just something that's going to be it's own mix of categories, and most folks who really care where you put it are micromanaging your life, not being helpful.

I can't tell you if what you're feeling is for sure romantic or platonic or queerplatonic or anything else - what i can tell you is that it doesn't have to matter unless you feel like it does. if you're uncomfortable with something, labeled or not, then that's something you can work on. maybe there's a boundary, a lesson, or a time to just simply say "this is uncomfortable," and let that be enough for you.

if saying "i love you" isn't your thing - maybe talk with your partner. you don't have to say everything right now! you could just say, "hey, I've been thinking recently and realized I don't really like saying that I love you. I think it's related to me being aro-spec. I was wondering if there are other ways I can help you feel loved/appreciated in our relationship while I'm thinking about this." hopefully, your partner will be understanding. if not, then hey, maybe it's time for a reevaluation anyways.

I know this isn't a nice, concrete "if A then B" formula, and that's frustrating. but I want you to know: you are not alone. there's so many folks in positions like you, and honestly, i'd be surprised if there isn't some sort of talking space specifically dedicated to folks questioning this kind of stuff. everything will be okay, no matter how you feel.

I hope this helps.

[marshmallowgoop]

I combined footage from my Detektiv Conan Blu-ray with audio from my Case Closed FUNimation DVD and made an HD English dub clip compilation for Episodes 57-58, "The Holmes Freak Murder Case."

[fluent-in-lesbianism]

Just a heads up: If you’re pregnant and you’re using marijuana during your pregnancy, even if you stop before delivery, there is a high chance your baby’s meconium will come back positive for marijuana.

Meconium is your baby’s first bowel movement that forms between 12-15 weeks gestation. Anything you ingest within that time period (and even up to the last few months of your pregnancy) will be absorbed by your baby, and then excreted through their meconium. Most hospitals send the meconium for drug testing along with a urine screen. A lot of my cases involve folks who didn’t know they were pregnant until it was too late. They stopped smoking way before delivery thinking they were good bc their urine and their baby’s urine came back negative, but they still get a case with CPS because the meconium came back positive.

So if marijuana’s illegal where you live or you don’t have a valid prescription for marijuana, you’ll 100% end up with a CPS case. That doesn’t mean an instant removal (bc most states don’t really care about weed anymore, we just have to investigate bc state policy hasn’t caught up yet), but having an open case when you’re tryna care for a newborn can be stressful and traumatic. So be aware of the risks if you continue smoking late into your pregnancy.

[fishyfishyfishtimes]

I’ve seen people in the notes of my shark polls occasionally apologise for being so basic with their favourite sharks (or at least their fave out of the list), most commonly with the whale shark and the great white shark. I’m here to tell you, don’t feel bad in the slightest!! There is a reason you love this shark so much, isn’t there? Whale shark is quite literally the biggest fish at an awe-inspiring 12 meters, it’s one of the only filter feeding sharks, it swims with a slow, dignified grace, it is a long-living gentle giant, it has the silliest adorable face and it has a beautiful blue or dark grey back full of stars! And the great white shark! A gorgeous shark, a testament to the success of sharks, an efficient predator of great strength yet it is still capable of gentleness, a mighty animal that observes the world with calmness — not to mention their cute spyhops! Two noble animals, why on earth should you feel bad for liking them so much!?

Of course saying this, I don’t mean to say that every other shark sucks or something lol. I could think of nice things like that to say about any shark! It would just take a while, given that there are over 500 sharks, so only saying nice things about two is easier. They all deserve love! I just want to say that liking “basic” things is fine and fun. Sharks are never “basic” anyway!

[antihibikase-archive]

It is incredibly isolating to navigate through fandom as an aromantic person. Aro experiences are so varied, and there is no definite aro experience that encapsulates the alienation that fandom spaces cause for certain people.

Fandom is mostly built and structured on shipping. And if not, the blorbofication of characters, which tends to go down the shipping pipeline; where does that leave the romance repulsed aro person who genuinely does not want to see any form of shipping? Platonic dynamics, right?

Yeah, sure. But by platonic dynamics, it's only "best friends" or "family" right? Where does that leave the aro folks with undefined labels? No, qprs aren't a get-out-of-jail card.

And qprs- they have no rules or standards set upon them by society, not even having a clear definition for what it is, because not all qprs are the same. Yet, for some reason, it ended up becoming the "nonbinary" option to a lot of people- not romantic or "regular" platonic? Qpr it is, right?

But where does that leave the aro folk who don't want a qpr? Who don't wish to see characters depicted in pairs or trios or so forth- who embrace the lack of a partner?

And these concepts presented; when aro folk talk about them, do you care? And if you do, do you understand? Do you try to?

If you aren't aro, but wish to be supportive, are you a genuine ally? Do you raise the concerns of aro folk you share the space with?

Or do you take a look at these concepts- and decide you understand them "well" enough? Do you decide to speak for aro folks instead?

Do you depict relationships outside of romance because you believe in the importance of platonic relationships? Will you accept the fact that not all platonic interactions will be familial or "best friends"?

Can you accept depictions of qprs outside of "more than friends, less than lovers"? Are you willing to accept it is not just "best friends" or "romance lite"? Will you accept that nothing is inherently romantic- and characters in a qpr may fall under your standards of lovers?

Can you resist the urge to put every character in a pair or trio or group? Are you comfortable with the notion of characters finding more joy in being by themselves, outside of all those lenses you see them in?

It's good if you can.

And if you can't, at the very least, do you understand why some aro folk in your space are upset? Embittered by your favorite ships? Starving for representation?

Did you depict these characters with these concepts with the knowledge that aromanticism is fluid?

[uncanny-tranny]

If you truly want to do what's best for mentally ill people, you have to learn that you often won't be able to separate the "salvageable" parts of ourselves with our illnesses, and you can't pretend like we are sane people underneath the façade of insanity, like we can flip a switch and magically erase the differences that make us "disordered"

[hedgethemaze]

If you’re in the #korrasami tag, watch this video   

This video, more than anything I’ve ever seen, red or listen to, captures the beauty of Korrasami.

If you’re a Korrasami shipper,  Enjoy it! Treasure it, even - because such a masterful analysis is a gift!❤️

Or if, for whatever reason, you’re just a no-good, narrow-minded hater, watch this video and educate yourself!

[schrodingers-catgirl]

Pick your fav !!!! (standard poll - polycule poll)

[vi-enti]

school’s over so back on the fanfic grind (a grind i have not openly shared on the internet since like. 2018), unsure if this is an idea to continue but i am thinking so hard... about the difficulties of the healing process. really gotta purge that poison

. . .

“Hello, this is… Hajime Hinata. The date is… I have no idea what the date is. It’s been 14 days, 9 hours, 47 minutes and 24 seconds since we woke up from the Neo World Program.”

“…I don’t know why I said it like that. It’s been about two weeks.” 

“Uhh… I’m not sure what to say here, really. Naegi—Makoto, that is—told me this would be a good way to get my thoughts down. That way if there’s anything I forget, or anything I want everyone to know after… Well, I don’t think I can really forget anything. Even if I wanted to, I don’t think I could.”

“Sorry there are so many quiet gaps. I’m trying to think about what I want to say... I guess I’ll start with the facts, and we can go from there. I was the first person to wake up, and then Sonia. Kazuichi took a few hours longer, he was so… his limbs were so scarred. I could barely tell the healthy tissue apart from all of the burns and cuts. When he got out, he just kept screaming and crying, he just kept—“

“Akane was next, but she was barely a shell, too weak, so Makoto put her back under for a few more days before waking her up. She wasn’t in the pod though, we—they moved her to a hospital bed in a different room. This facility really has everything. You wouldn’t believe the scale of the medical equipment, Tsumiki would love it—“

“Basically, Akane woke up a week after Kazuichi, technically, and then we put her into a medical coma for a while. We as in… I didn’t do that. I mean, I did, but it didn’t feel like me.”

“Actually, I never feel like… me. I don’t know who me is supposed to be now. I’m still him—I mean, I’m still me—but I’m not me— fuck, this doesn’t make any fucking sense, I just can’t— Sonia, don’t touch me—“

“…”

“…I want my mom. I don’t remember the last time I wanted my mom. I don’t even… remember my mom, anymore.”

“…Patient 5, Kuzuryu Fuyuhiko. We plan to wake him from his induced medical coma today, following complications from his enucleation operation directly after awakening from pod sleep. There was an infection at the area of operation and I deemed it too dangerous to continue until it was cleared. Naegi had some objections, but his background is not medical, and does not always need to be taken into account. Patient 4 will simply have to wait.”

“He still has the damn thing.”

“…they all do.”

“Alter Ego, end recording.” Hajime slumped back against his chair, bringing a hand up to push his hair back. It was a newly acquired habit, one always accompanied by the feeling of missing something, like there wasn’t enough hair to run through his fingers. He hated it. Hated thinking that it wasn’t newly acquired at all, that whoever he was in the past few years did it all the time. 

That hadn’t gone nearly as well as he’d liked. These voice diaries were supposed to be records so they could explain things easier to the others once they all woke up, something to jog their memories. Privately, he was sure that Makoto had asked him to make them more for his own sake, as if they’d help somehow with all of the different thoughts running through his brain all of the time. If he spoke them out loud, then somehow they’d disappear. It was the compromise they’d settled on after Hajime had refused to attend Future Foundation-provided therapy. Most of the time they turned out exactly like this, not suitable for anyone’s ears except his own. 

Makoto was an idiot. Talking about it wasn’t going to stop the constant streams of thought in his brain, analyzing every thing and every action around him, picking apart the movements of his friends and their slight changes in tone, detecting every potential threat and every potential weapon for killing someone—fuck.

He was so tired of dreaming up all the ways people could die. His rare moments of sleep were already haunted by spears and giant Tetris blocks, by fire and poison and terrified faces. He didn’t need more deaths on his mind, constant echoes of terrors of his own creation. 

Sitting up properly, he stretched his arms out before standing up to examine his half of the room. At least two people kept watch in the pod room at all times, waiting for anyone to wake up next and making sure nobody died. It reminded him of the hospital in the simulation, someone always watching over Akane and Ibuki and—

An alarm beeped and Sonia, on the other end of the room, startled awake in her own chair. She had stayed on that side after Hajime shoved her away earlier, eventually drifting to sleep by Gundham’s pod. It was the one she stared at the most, blue eyes alight with grief and fury, even if she wouldn’t admit it. She was better off than Hajime, at least. One of his eyes stayed empty. Makoto had warned him that she shouldn’t be allowed to spend so much time with Gundham, but he could never bring himself to pull her away. Clearing his throat, he waited for the former princess to look up towards him. 

“Shift change. You should go sleep in an actual bed, I can wait for Kazuichi and Makoto if you want to go on ahead.” She shook her head, fingers trailing over the glass coffin holding the Ultimate Breeder. 

“No, that’s alright. You’ve been here long enough, you need to rest before Fuyuhiko. It’s only a few more hours away. Besides, I…” Sonia trailed off, gaze shifting to the pod next to Gundham’s, covered with a sheet. Everyone had to be checked on, but there was just one person Hajime couldn’t stand to see. The only person in the room that caused his dead eye to come to life. 

He couldn’t identify the emotion, but it had to be hate. It had to be, right?

At least he knew he wouldn’t be judged for it. Everyone had someone they couldn’t look at in this room, couldn’t face directly. Hajime was just the only one weak enough to require a sheet covering the pod. The only one who couldn’t be controlled if he had a fit of anger, or worse—one of despair. 

Swallowing back bile, he nodded, making a quick exit from the room to the quarters right next door. A large room had been set up with beds and necessities for them, the six that were here and constantly switching out. Kyoko had suggested separate rooms, but after multiple nights of Kazuichi sneaking into his room or Sonia screaming in her sleep from across the hall, Hajime had fought for them to all be together. Makoto, almost with a child-like excitement, had insisted that he, Kyoko, and Aoi stay there too. 

The lucky student in question had been sitting on the floor cross-legged when he walked in, laptop resting on a knee while he glared down at the screen. A glare from Makoto wasn’t usually all that effective, but whatever he was seeing seemed to be genuinely pissing him off. If Hajime had been anyone else, he wouldn’t have bothered disturbing the younger. Still, someone had to go fill in for him with Sonia until Kazuichi took over for her. The mechanic was nowhere to be seen—probably sitting at Akane’s bedside, as usual. Tapping Makoto gently on the shoulder, Hajime waited for him to look up from the email he had been so focused on. 

“Oh, you’re back! Has it been six hours already? I didn’t even notice.” It wasn’t a long time to spend watching the pods, but Aoi had insisted. They had three pairs switching out, and she didn’t want anyone spending more time in the pod room than they did outside of it, in the fresh air and the real world—or so she said. Hajime was sure it had more to do with her growing concern for the five of them, Kyoko and Makoto included. While they hadn’t been in the program nearly as long, they still seemed just a bit too pale to her. As for himself, Sonia, and Kazuichi… Aoi had never known them before, but worried nonetheless about irreparable damage. 

“Yes, I’m back. Will you find Kazuichi and tag Sonia out? She’s just finishing check-ups.” The shorter nodded, shutting his laptop and standing from his seat on the floor. “Everything alright?”

“It’s just Byakuya, he’s facing some problems bringing the medical equipment we need over to the island. The Future Foundation doesn’t see the need to care for some of the pre-existing conditions your class has, they’re just barely allotting enough supplies for taking care of the… last bits of Junko. It’s like you aren’t even humans to them, they just have no empathy!” Makoto rubbed his temples, forcing a weak smile onto his face. It hadn’t escaped Hajime that the bright-eyed boy that they had met in the final trial and the tired man before him right now seemed so far apart from each other. Because of us—because of me. 

“We aren’t human to them.” He placed a hand on his shoulder, trying to offer some comfort. “But we are to you. You’re the best of them, Makoto. I know you’ll work things out.” The younger’s smile twisted, not exactly happy, and he nodded in response. 

“Right. The Ultimate Hope, that’s me. I have to be able to fix this.” Hajime raised an eyebrow, not meaning that at all, but Makoto was already walking out of the room to take over watch duties. That had gone… stunningly bad. Whatever part of his soul had been able to produce hope for the others in the Neo World Program had been hiding, his mind and body too used to the actions and words of another. Another who had no idea how to give someone hope for the future, much less comfort someone just the slightest bit. All Hajime seemed to be good at these days was making things worse. 

A warmth squeezed around his hand, like someone urging him to stop thinking, and he yanked it away from—from nothing. There was nobody there. He just needed to get some rest before Fuyuhiko’s surgery today. 

Two beds remained empty, waiting for their last members. Akane was awake, but still too weak to leave her hospital bed, and Fuyuhiko would join them today. Hopefully. Sitting on his own perfectly made bed, he wondered if all of the remnants would end up sharing a room for the rest of time. The three of them awake so far had their nightmares, some worse than others, and it was impossible to imagine the rest being able to sleep easy after all that had happened. It was too easy to imagine everyone around the room, as if their spaces were already there waiting for them. Glancing around, Hajime could imagine each and every one of them smiling at him, if he could just bring them all back, if he could just wake them up. 

A flash of pink and white hair danced at the corner of his eyes, a gentle smile and a false one, and he slammed his head down on the bed, covering his vision with a pillow. Sleep now, hypotheticals later. Hypotheticals that could never, ever be reality anyways. It was dangerous to get lost in thoughts of a happy ending. 

He didn’t deserve an ending just yet. There was too much to fix. 

[thenecropolix]

I cannot stop pondering a potential Jekyll and Hyde au with Sasha.

I never read the orginal book, but having dome some digging, my understanding that Jekyll was trying to separate his "good" from his "bad" but we know at the end of the day, he and Hyde were always the same person, it was a matter of circumstances (at least how I see it).

The story behind his character interested me because it involved a teacher Stevenson knew that was found guilty for a murder, a man that from Stevenson's perspective "appeared" to be normal in how he conducted himself; naturally, I suspect the entire character of Jekyll/Hyde is based on the concept of perception and how one conducts themselves around different people (you wouldn't act around your coworkers the same way you'd act around family for instance). To one group of people, you appear as one way, but then imagine their surprise that's not how you act around a different set, as if you were a totally different person.

Such thinking has led me to the thought that the concept of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde could be applicable to masking, stimming, and emotional regulation in neurodivergent people. Given that neurotypicals expect us to conduct ourselves according to their standards and detest the way we express ourselves despite its benefits, we are forced to put on a facade that pleases them to the point that people question if we're on the spectrum to begin with.

Considering how Autistic coded Sasha Nein is, I can't help but consider him in a Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde situation where the transformation into Hyde is less about indulging in immoral tendencies and moreso the repression of stimming or allowing oneself to indulge in behaviors that are looked down upon by a neurotypical society. To "normal" people, the neurodivergent person may appear beneath the definition of a "proper" person and is treated as such when the reality is their is nothing wrong with them other than they process things differently. I feel that such a subject would be interesting to explore with Sasha's character and the fantastical, gothic nature of the Hyde formula.

[carriesthewind]

Re: my last reblog.

My general opinion on the quality of celebrity defense attorneys* is that 1) it's a lot easier to get a good outcome for your client when they have infinite money they (and therefore you) can spend on their case and 2) they are, because of their position and wealth, already less likely to be investigated, less likely to be charged, less likely convicted, and given a lighter sentence if convicted - regardless of anything you do.

*defense attorneys who work to make themselves celebrities in their own right, not necessarily attorneys who defend celebrities.

[camellcat]

I FEEL DIZZY I AM NAUSEOUS AHH!!!!!! ten's reaction to hearing "bad wolf" makes me SICK!!! literally a nothing reaction literally so unimportant literally maybe 10 seconds long. but also. I am so fucked up that hour long special took me like two with how many times I just paused it to get up and pace around my house LOL

[mercymaker]

ya girlie just tired today

[sparrowposting]

I literally just do not understand how full grown ass adults go thru life like this. 0 self reflection. 0 concern about the impact of their behaviours on others. Continuing said behaviours even when they're pointed out as hurtful. Like????

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

.

[perkeleen-lavellan]

I feel like the Blight year just does something to Valo, so that when the Grey Wardens make their inquiries and ask him how did he survive killing the archdemon, he just goes "Idk I guess I'm just built like that."