#but that's also why i dont wanna watch it bc then im just gonna see him as an abuser aksjhdsakjhd

[britneyshakespeare]

you: nicholas alexander chavez, the actor from ryan murphy's recent work

me, a mama's girl and daytime tv viewer:

[noahtally-famous]

funny how this fic started off as an "unserious" idea (not cracky, more so i didn't take it that seriously, it was basically so i could rotate certain characters from my head into a google doc), i didn't expect to care abt it as much as i do now like i have a basic chapter layout for half of the set chapter count, specific scenes prewritten, a planning doc with around five pages thus far, the basics (title, summary, etc), random scenes for it spinning around in my head, and a bit of chapter one and three pages of chapter four written 😭

and i started properly thinking stuff for and working on this fic like...two days ago

it was not supposed to be This Serious hfjkdhf

[thecherrygod]

man knowing that there are parents out there controlling what their kids watch and read is. wild to me. like as soon as i was able to read subtitles i was sitting in the living room with my family watching whatever the fuck my parents wanted to watch. the first tv series i watched was sopranos i think, to the point its been long enough that i dont remember a lot of it. like. i feel im at the opposite side of the spectrum there

[naramdil]

Yes! i don’t want to dump this on you, especially if you aren’t watching it, but I knew you would understand. B/c when i talk about this with my fam, they tell me to relax and that it’s a fantasy show for a reason and that no one would want this dude irl… but you’re right. The fact that extremely attractive, charming men play these characters is done on purpose. Manz slaps his fiancee (to which she faints dramatically for him to catch her before she falls and tenderly caress her face regretfully 🙄) He apologizes lazily for it, then continues to drag her through places roughly by her hand to scold her. and i swear i read comments like “wowww murtasim didnt scold her in public! He took her to their room so he could save her izzat. Kya mohobat hai iski!!” Making all sorts of excuses for him b/c of all the other romantic/charming scenes that are distracting them from the real issues in the show. Especially scenes of him flirting with her and being struck by her beauty. You know those romantic scenes where they stare at each other for minutes 😂. It’s surprising that i havent seen any criticism from this show, even from younger more woke girls. They’re all just fangirling since he’s not “that bad”

they love romanticizing the aggressive wrist pulling and stuff it makes me so mad!! dramas like this are the pakistani equivalent of fics like After and 50 shades of grey .... fodder for aunties to convince themselves the abuse they have dealt with and perpetuated is acceptable and should be encouraged 🙄

[phagodyke]

why are glasses so expensiveeeee

[miikaarinn]

woke up on friday to a msg from my ex partner/fp and i have been struggling with what to do ever since. also who the fuck sends somwone a tiktok at 1am when as fair as he's concerned you hate him and then expect him to gladly have a conversation with you at 11 (he has his own life surprisingly)

[victim9d]

hm.

[kuiinncedes]

:P

[orcelito]

I added 2 rows to it so the center part is 42 rows, and I've been working on the first border around it. Here's what I have so far.

Doing a border with this yarn is HARD... like very physically demanding for my hands. I want to finish the first loop already, but it's been over 200 stitches and my hands are Tired. Bc these stitches are so much harder to do than the rest of this blanket (due to how much effort it is to find each little loop and force the hook inside every single one)

It's also been extra challenging on the long side, bc it's nowhere Near straightforward like it is on the ends. U kinda just have to. Make your own loops inside existing stitches. Which for double crochet it's typically going to be 3 stitches of border per row, except when I did that with this yarn it was way too much. I ended up alternating 3 and 2 stitches per row, but that still might've been a bit too much... I'm hoping it'll balance out when I add the next two border rows (these ones will be double crochet). If nothing else, I could potentially skip a few stitches in those rows so they're not quite as crowded. But no matter fucking what, I am NOT redoing that side. I swear, that side alone took me over 2 hours to do. Way too much effort.

I've been crocheting like crazy

I made this in just 4 days.

It's the newer version of what I was making before. I got to 39 out of 40 rows, realized I'd accidentally tightened the stitches midway through, then decided I liked the tighter stitches better, so I unraveled the entire thing.

The old version before & after unraveling ^

With the tighter stitches, it's definitely a bit smaller, but it holds its form better. It'll work better as a proper blanket, I think. It's still not done, I gotta get the border rows stitched in, but the central area is all finished. And it only took me 4 days. Makes me feel like a powerhouse lol

[ilovewomenfr]

you are such a nerd! p2

click before reading

part 1

sub!ellie x dom!reader

men dni, NSFW!

cw: praise kink, strap-on (e!receiving), oral (e!receiving), scissoring, degradation kink, spanking (e!receiving), petnames (babe, baby), use of y/n, ellie’s a brat, strap referred to as cock, porn with basically no plot.

a/n: here’s part 2. wrote most of it at 2am so apologies if its in-cohesive bc i didnt proofread. hope you enjoy part 2!! xx.

“why don’t we go to the bedroom?” you suggest. to that, ellie smiles, “sounds good to me babe. and you better use the purple strap on me, it’s my favourite.”

“are you giving me an attitude els?” you ask as you drag her up to the bedroom, “no…”

“sounds like you are. try again.”

“please use the purple strap on me?” she asks, batting her eyelashes jokingly.

“you’re a weirdo” you giggle, kissing her cheek. “is that a yes?”

you pretend to think, but you know you love watching her fall apart while you fuck her, “it’s a yes.”

ellie smiles at you and picks up the pace to your room. “excited are we?”

“yes. obviously. aaaand i would love it if you were also naked. its not fair that it’s only me.” she blushes and tugs at the hem of your shirt, you allow her to pull it off. her fingers brushing against your bare skin causing goosebumps to form along your body. ellie throws the shirt onto the stairs and her smile widens, her tongue wetting her lower lip as she sees your bare chest. ellie’s cheeks turn slightly red.

“blushing?” you tease, and ellie gives you a look, and shuts you up with a kiss. the pads of her fingers graze your lower back as she delves her tongue into your mouth, drawing a moan from you once her hands slip down your shorts to squeeze your ass. one of your hands reaches up to brush your thumb against her pebbled pink nipple, the other holding the side of her neck.

ellie pulls away, making her way down your body in the hallway, pulling you along with her. her lips brushing against your stomach, she pulls down your shorts and underwear, nipping the skin at your hip before sucking it into her mouth.

“fuck el” you groan “not so smug now are ya?” she smirks, “youre catching an attitude.” you pull her head back, her dilated pupils meeting yours, “what are you gonna do about it?”

the two of you stumble through the door to the bedroom as you continue to make out, panting and moaning into each other’s mouths. you make it to the bed, pushing her down onto the mattress. you climb over ellie, sucking that sweet spot under her ear,

“mhh y/n” she whimpers as she grasps your hair. “can you just fuck me already?”

“are you gonna lose the attitude baby or do i have to fuck it out of you?” ellie bites her lip, “is that even a question?”

“touché” you kiss her again, smiling. her arms wrap around you pulling you close, as if to merge your bodies into one.

“hold on for a sec el.” you say, climbing off of her, walking over to your nightstand

“baaabe.” she complains, rolling over onto her side, resting her head on her hand as she holds herself up on her elbow.

“you want this or what?” you smile, pulling the strap out of the drawer. “obviously yes” she giggles, watching you pull the harness on, a gleam in her eyes. “i love it when you look at me like that”

“how’m i looking at ya?” you climb back onto the bed, facing her as you wrap your arm around her waist.

“like im the only one in the whole world.”

“youre a sap” she kisses you gently, hands pushing a lock of hair behind your ear.

the kiss grows in intensity, hands in hair, down backs and grasping at asses and chests. when you break apart ellie says breathily, “i need your cock in me”

“impatient” you smile, kissing her neck,

“mhh” she leans her neck back, but pushes your head down her torso, “be patient babe”

“i dont wanna. i need you now” she complains. “if you keep that tone youre not cumming” ellie groans in response, “m’ sorry. ‘m sorry.” you nestle yourself between her thighs, hooking them over your shoulders as you nuzzle into her aching heat, “oh my god y/n” she grasps your hair and pulls you closer into her.

you focus your attention to her clit, sucking and brushing your tongue along it as lewd sounds fall from her lips. the more she moans, the more your cunt aches. your tongue laps up her slick and she bucks her hips up to your mouth. you pull away from her, “want my cock baby?”,

“i want it so bad”

“how bad?”

“please y/n. i want you so fuckin’ bad. i need you.” smirking, you run your fingers along her dripping pussy, “babe please.”

you tease her entrance with your middle two fingers,

“what’re you doin?” ellie whines,

“making sure youre ready for me”

“i don’ care. i want you. now.”

“theres the attitude.”

“fuck it outta me” she says, desperately. you dip your fingers into her, she groans, “with the fuckin strap not your f-fingers!”

“you really are bratty tonight, aren’t you?” you pull your fingers out of her, pulling them into your mouth. the taste of her only makes the heat between your legs grow.

“ass up for me” you command, ellie surprisingly complies, given her attitude tonight. “damn babe you want my cock bad dont you?” you tease as you spread her legs, revealing her soaked cunt, “s’ bad” she repeats. the view of her submitting to you like this brought out a carnal desire for her to be screaming under you. “holy fuck you look amazing like this” you coo, palming her ass, eliciting a needy whine from your girlfriend. the silicone tip teasing her wet hole. “god just fuck me!” she grumbles, trying to push herself back so her pussy can relish the feeling of being stretched out. you smack her ass and she moans, “fuck baby!”

you pull her hips flush against you as you thrust into her, a groan escaping your throat at the sight of her face contorting with pleasure. “you’re such a slut. begging for my cock?” you grunt as the now slick purple dildo slides in and out of her, wet sounds echoing around the walls of the room. ellie whines, “m’ youre slut. only yours.”

“mh good girl” you praise, squeezing her hips as you pull them flush against yours, “ohh god” you see her eyes flutter as she looks back at you. “t-talk to me” the plead comes out as a whine.

“you’re taking me so good el, so fuckin’- mh, you’re such a slut for this cock arent you?” ellie moans and nods, the sounds getting louder, “fuck! faster!” you pick up the pace, and she arches her back. she’s turned into a mess, grasping the pillow, “such a pretty girl for me aren’t you?” you give her ass another smack and she cries out again, “so fuckin dirty aren’t you? youre dripping all over me” you look down at the slick dripping down her thighs, leaning over and kissing her shoulder, getting deeper. “touch your clit babe” and she complies, her hand reaching down between her legs, you wrap your arms around her and tug at her nipples.

“m’ close” she groans, “yeah? you’re gonna cum all over my cock aren’t you?” your own arousal needing to be dealt with, so you thrust harder, trying to get the hilt to stimulate your clit. ellie cries out your name, “m’ cumming!” you stay in her, bucking your hips as you get the base of the strap to hit your clit, milking ellie’s weeping pussy. you moan with her, the knot in your stomach getting tighter. her release exploding out of her, soaking the sheets. “what a fuckin’ whore. squirting for me. so fucking hot.” you pull out of her, “i wanna see your face”

“you did so good baby.” you push her hair out of her face, “took me so well.” she smiles, completely dazed out, “yeah?” you pull off the harness, throwing it to the foot of the bed, she looks at you with pleading eyes, “i wanna feel your pussy on mine.” you part her knees, “mhm so needy aren’t you?”

“y/n please.” you smile and lower onto her, positioning yourself at the perfect angle as you rock your hips. you gasp at the contact that you desperately needed, the two of you fitting together like puzzle pieces as your wet heat slides together, drawing desperate sounds from the both of you. your hands grasp her back, pulling her close to you as you work your way to bliss.

your clit hits hers and both of you cry out, trying carelessly to hit the angle again, once you do, ellie mewls, “holyy shit.” you laugh breathlessly, before repeatedly bucking your hips perfectly, “god yes” you groan. feeling the pleasure wash over you as your orgasm approaches. you feel yourself clenching around nothing, your fingers digging into her, “fuck baby im so close” you gasp, “me too”. the wanton moans leaving both of your lips meld together, practically creating a song. ellie arches her back as her orgasm hits, nails scratching your lower back. almost immediately after, you buckle over as the tension in your body releases. you hold onto her as the both of you ride out the high, sloppy kisses and hands in hair once again. as you hold her in your arms you praise her over and over again, telling her how good she made you feel.

“i love you.” you whisper as you rest your forehead on hers, catching your breath. ellie kisses you gently, “i love you too.”

taglist (thats not rlly a list yet):

@infiniteinquiries @yeahimsogaydude

[patchiko]

Can we get Jason's reaction after he's just reached sexual intimacy you and y'all JUST started having sex on a regular basis’, and he sees your super-kinky, slightly fucked up, pornhub favorites on your account. Does he... Look closely and take notes at what you like or does he slam the laptop shut and pretend he never saw anything and he doesn't know that you probably wanna tie him up and do CBT or have him Dom you in a really fucked up roleplay scenario. No matter what, I feel like he'd be jittery and nervous as fuck around you afterwards. You're just watching the highly trained, black-ops skilled assassin tripping over boxes and shit around you and wondering why he won't stop blushing.

ANON??.$:&!:&:&::

IT DEPENDS ON THE JASON TODD BUT THIS IS THE ONLY COMMON MEDIUM. He’d scroll for a minute or two then close laptop. NOSY BASTARDS.

AK!JASON

anon you might be too freaky for him. JDODHKD. Anything close to or even being straight up pain is really really really bad for him. He doesn’t like it at all, reminds him too much of his trauma. Even if he is domming it freaks him out too much, makes him feel like he’s becoming like his aggressors. D:

he’s definitely gonna talk to you about it, and set very clear boundaries during sexy time. (No, i dont think he can get use to it/change it)

LIKE THE MOST “AGGRESSIVE” THING HE’D DO WHILE FUCKING IS GRAB TF OUT OF HIS S/O’s ASS. HE SEES CBT AND HES LIKE ‘WHAT THE FUCK??!???’ LMAOAJAOAO

COMIC!JASON

he’s all like ummm.. most he’d do is light spanking, biting, light pinching, and hair pulling. BUT LIKE. HE’S ALSO not the most into pain. I specifically believe this bc of that one comic panel where he’s in a bar and he’s like “sorry man. im not really into s&m’s” AND THATS HIS EXACT SAME RESPONSE TO YOU IF U BROUGHT IT UP LMFOAOAOA.

“love the fact ur freaky doll, but your man is more vanilla.” I also dont think he’d get into it/use it. just not his cup of tea. He also closes the laptop as soon as he see’s cbt🫡 in his brain he’s like “NOT MY BALLS💥💥💥.” while closing the laptop

[overnowsfcb]

even if they talk; trent alexander-arnold smau

pairing: trent alexander-arnold x nepobaby knowles!model!reader

face claim: taylor russell

summary: people will criticize everything, but there is someone who will never fail you, and that was trent.

warnings: mostly fluff, angst (bit of hate and critics towards reader).

note: this is my first smau i hope it's not too bad! i would love to hear your thoughts or suggestions, also requests are open! — venus 🫂💐🫧

INSTAGRAM!

liked by ynknowles, virgilvandijk and 1,199,023 others

trentarnold66 🤷🏽‍♂️

view all comments

user1 the best out there

user2 unreal 🔥🔥🔥

user3 let's go reds!

ynknowles congrats! is there some secret routine helping you before the game to be that amazing? 🤔

↪trentarnold66 Maybe.. But I can't share any details here 🤫

↪user4 ARE WE MISSING SOMETHING????

↪user5 whats so interesting??? share with the class????

user6 yn and trent interacting??? i- wow

↪user7 if i hadnt seen it with my own eyes id say everyones tripping

user8 are they implying something or is just me

↪user9 I THOUGHT EXACTLY THE SAME

user10 YOU BETTER EXPLAIN YOURSELF ynknowles

user11 LET HER COOK

↪user12 girl i think they've already had a feast

user13 wtf is yn doing here

↪user14 she ruins everything good

user15 i hope trent doesnt distract w this... cant even say it

↪user16 yeah we know what she did to her exes so...

↪user17 put some respect on beyoncé's daughter's name and inform yourself before talking, mind you

NEWS!

comments

user trent can do so much better than yn. she just wants to stay relevant

user shes using trent because she has no talents to show

user i've heard rumors about how yn's exes have ended. trent, watch your back, my man.

↪user you talk as if she murdered them??? plus she never did anything to any of her exes you're just talking bc it's free

user i just hope that trent can open his eyes asap

user what a disappointment from trent. i thought he was better than dating a spoiled kid with too much time and money in her hands

user y'all are just jealous that she has what many desire 1. money 2. fame 3. beauty 4. trent's dick

user why is everyone jumping to conclusions though? we should give them the space to tell us whenever they feel ready

user i love how haters act like they know everything about yn's life and they dont know shit

TWITTER!

INSTAGRAM!

liked by zoeisabellakravitz, trentarnold66 and 2,763,548 others

ynknowles paris you are the vibes ⭐️ so damn proud of my little blue and this mind-blowing tour, i love you momma beyonce !

view all comments

beyonce Love you endlessly, my angel. You know how much your support means to Blue. 💙

bellahadid Prettiest fairy in the world.

troyesivan mmm alright??? why are you so perfect???

user18 no trent here though 🤷‍♀️

user19 this is the confirmation about how yn just uses trent

user20 ugh. i hate these nepobabies who think the world revolves around them

ynknowles has restricted the comments for this post

TWITTER!

INSTAGRAM!

liked by ynfan34, trentfan78 and 18,905 others

ynknowlesupdates Yn Knowles in Anfield today with friends! This is the first time we've seen her in public in three months.

view all comments

user1 i cant stand her 😒 smile or smth if youre gonna see your "boyfriend"

↪ ynfan1 if you cant stand her then poke your eyes with a spoon and dont bother 😁

ynfan2 omg this will be the first match that she attends. i hope she enjoys it!!!! (win please)

ynfan3 I MISSED HER SO MUCH IM GLAD SHES WELL

ynfan4 baby looks tired of people taking pics of her 😕 i wanna hug her

↪user2 but shes there for that??? she loves attention

↪ynfan5 or maybe just MAYBE she wants to support her boyfriend??

ynfan6 TODAY I WAS MISSING HER MORE THAN ANYTHING SHE LOVES ME

trentfan1 WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE DOING THERE?? i though we had gotten rid of her 😩

user4 if we lose today you know who is to blame...

trenfan2 over and over again i will repeat it until trent leaves her, shes with him for fame

↪ynfan7 yeah cause trent is soooo worried about what you think right???

user5 i bet shes there just for the cameras

trentfan3 yn trying to be a wag is so cute and laughable. she doesnt even measure up to the real ones.

↪user6 ikr? shes trying so hard poor girl

trentfan4 the fact that she goes with her friends 💀💀 i bet no wag would want to be seen with her

INSTAGRAM!

trentarnold66 Just clever people can handle how flawless my queen is. Happy first anniversary, my love. I love you madly, always. No need to demonstrate anything on social media when we're tellin' each other how much we love at every hour. ❤️

tagged: ynknowles

view all comments

ynknowles i love love love you so fucking much you dont have an idea

↪trentarnold66 i love you more more more than you could imagine

ynknowles thank you for being the most perfect man ive ever known t ❤️❤️❤️❤️

↪trentarnold66 i just try my best to be on your level, lovely

beyonce You are such a gentleman, Trent! Grateful for the way you take care of my angel.

liked by trentarnold66, ynknowles and 21,234 others

ynfan8 A YEAR??? BUT IF WE FOUND OUT FOUR MONTHS AGO

↪trentfan5 i feel so stupid how did they hide it so well 😦😦

trentfan6 shut them up trent

trentfan7 THATS A GOOD MAN!!!! men just take notes rn

bellahadid Thank you for taking care of the purest woman in this world, Trent 💖

ynfan9 not bee and bella thanking him 🥺🥺

↪trentfan8 im gonna cry he must be so cute

↪ynfan10 no bc she surely spent some tough months with the hate towards her and he sure was the supportive boyfriend as he should 😭😭

trentfan9 WHY NO ONES TALKING ABOUT THE BATMAN KEYCHAINS???

↪ynfan11 nonononooooo i love them best couple in the world

ynfan12 the pics he takes of her, the caption, everything 😪😪😪 god send me a man like that

trentfan10 the people who said they were going too fast must be regretting it 🤭

ynfan13 im afraid we'll find out they have kids when they're in uni, lmao. happy anniversary you two!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[mommahughes19-23]

Momma and Papa of the Year - B.B

@bboeser : thank you for giving me 3 of the best gifts of my life, a partner, a best friend, and momma ❤️‍🔥

tagged : @mrs.boeser

location : her heart

_quinnhughes : i dont miss the hormonal version of yn but I do miss watching her struggle to get up. 🤡

↪ mrs.boeser : that's a bit rude of u to say but I miss watching you get high sticked @_quinnhughes🤡🤡🫷🏻

↪ bboeser : I just try to be a cute husband and y'all are fighting in my comments smh

zadorov_16 : glad to be a part of your wild American journey 🫨

mrs.boeser : I love you so much you mean everything to me❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

eliaspettersson : when can I babysit again !?

↪ mrs.boeser : quite literally never again 😬

↪ bboeser : love u Petey but gotta agree w the mrs 😬😬

kuzya_096 : AHHH MY FAVORTIE AMERICAN COUPLE благословенная семья ( blessed family )

tdemko30 : oooo I see a future goalie in my sight🤩

↪ bboeser : where, not here, future right wing in our house.

dakotajoshua8 : 👶🏻👶🏻👶🏻

ilyamikheeve66 : alexa play 'baby' by beibs

arturssilovs1 : I agree with @tdemko30 , looks like a future goalie. 🤩

lindholmelias : and I WASS LIKE BABY BABY BABY OOOOO

colemcward : mom and dad gave me a sibling 🫨

↪ mrs.boeser : who tf told u I was ur mom😤🤨

↪ colemcward : dad did @bboeser

↪ bboeser : it may have slipped when I was drunk 🤫

_tylermyers_ : come over my kids wanna playdate!

connor.garland8 : 'nucks favorite parents 💙💚💙

@mrs.boeser : thank YOU for being the best partner and dad EVER. I love u so so so so so much baby ❤️‍🔥

tagged : @bboeser

location : his heart

connor.garland8 : still the 'nucks fav parents💙💚💙

_tylermyers_ : why does he think those sunglasses look good🙅🏻

↪ bboeser : bc they do u dweeb 😤

colemcward : so ur un adopting me ? 🫨🫨

↪ mrs.boeser : I NEVER ADOPTED U IN THE FIRST PLACE COLE🤬

bboeser : my favorite momma 💙💙💙

lindholmelias : how do I get me a father Brock?

↪ mrs.boeser : YOU dont I do 😏

arturssilvos1 : still a future goalie 🥅

↪ mrs.boeser : GET OUT OF HERE WITH THOSE LIES

ilyamikheeve66 : маленький бро�� (mini brock)

↪ mrs.boeser : WOT

dakotajoshua8 : 👶🏻👶🏻👶🏻

kuzya_096 : my American mom🇺🇸🇺🇸

↪ mrs.boeser : WHY DO YOU ALL THINK IM YOUR MOM?!?!

↪ kuzya_096 : bc u are even if you dont admit it 🇺🇸

eliaspettersson : can I babysit if im supervised? 🤨

↪ mrs.boeser : by whoM!?

↪ eliaspettersson : @_quinnhughes

↪ mrs.boeser : FUCK NO

↪ _qunnhughes : that's rude 🤨

zadorov_16 : looks just like Brock

A.N :

I had to pre-write a bunch of A.N in the drafts I have bc I NEVER remember to do them lololol, any who im gonna take me a lil break and read some stuff and then I might be back in a little if I dont fall asleep putting my daughter to bed lol. I ALSO DARE SOMEONE ELSE TO HIGHSTICK QUINN ILL KILL U.

Tags : @lukey-pookie-hughes43 and @skylershines and @quinnylouhughesx43

[quodekash]

I didnt get enough sleep last night but its not my fault qtoey fuckin kissed

hes literally the most babygirl in this entire show

HIM FRANTICALLY CLEANING UP I LOVE HIM SM

I love this more than I can ever possibly describe

it's so silly

so goofy

HES SO GOOFY

they should kiss again I think

babes your voice just got three octaves higher, do better at lying next time

who the FUCK is this guy and why is he being introduced in episode 7 of 16 (apparently 16??? it's wild that this show is supposed to be 16 episodes long (according to mdl?) cos we're not even halfway through the show and 2 out of 4 of the main couples have officially kissed, and 1 is officially together. which is insane when you think about how msp is 12 episodes long and tinngun didnt properly kiss til thE END OF THE LAST FUCKING EPISODE)

(no im never getting over this, they COULD have counted 67 FUCKING TIMES throughout the show and they fucking DIDNT)

anyway this guy is probably gonna be a main part of the drama that's gonna go down in order to keep this show long enough 😭

why cant we just keep the light and fluffy show as it is and keep spreading joy and dopamine straight to my bones

two adorable little munchkins standing next to each other

theyre my sons

THAT LITTLE GIGGLE I CANT

whAT rEAlLY???

he asked if he could hit on you, then asked if he could KISS you, AND THEN YALL FUCKIN MADE OUT IN A HAUNTED HOUSE

AND THEN WHEN YOU SAW HIM TODAY, HE MADE SILLY KISSY LIPS AT YOU

so I suggest you all give up on this "plan", and change to this real plan: march up to him, ask him out, plant a kiss on his cheek, take your fuckin artist easels and canvases to a fuckin beach at sunset, paint and make out

oml pun's an astrology girlie

HOLY FUCK ITS HAPPENING

what the fuck no why does it look like its gonna get angsty, I cant do this :(

dont make me watch toey sob, I dont want that, I want them to make out again :((

im so confused dude why is he so angry

I genuinely dont get it

I mean im watching at 2x speed so I can get through this quickly so I might've missed some dialogue somewhere or smth, but still

why's he angry

idk why he's angry but I do know one thing: satang is too fucking good at portraying anguish

im too tired to process words so im not entirely sure what he means but I think it sounds poetic so we're gonna go with that

(ahem) THATS SO BEAUTIFUL WTF

WHAT THE FUCK

brb just gonna rip my fucking SOUL out

"its like im sitting in a vast grassy field with a gentle breeze under a bright sky" OKAY WTF ARE THE GMM WRITERS READING MY TUMBLR POSTS OR SMTH

THATS LITERALLY HOW I DESCRIBED THE WAY WIN PROBABLY FEELS ABOUT SOUND

its why his heart doesnt beat fast for sound, he just doesnt have that kind of crush, its more of a relaxing crush, like a gentle breeze

ill fucking find the post if I can

I literally wrote an extended metaphor poem combined with a fic about it

what the fuck dude

if they're watching my posts then why havent they given us my satang and perth siblings agenda yet

and where is the markford series

gmm I know you're looking at this, answer my fucking questions guys

I LOVE THEIR FRIEND GROUP SO FUCKING MUCH DUDE

they all just make me so happy 😭😭😭

okay but he didnt know you were milk frappe boy when hE FUCKING MADE OUT WITH YOU IN A HAUNTED HOUSE

theyre holdin hansssss

is what I think and want to happen about to happen

that wasnt grammar but its fine

THEYF CYKING END IT THERE??

BUT HES ALL PUCKERED UP

HES READY

ALSO THEYRE IN A SCHOOL HALLWAY AND IT WOULD BE REALLY FUNNY

WTF

I HAVE TO WAIT A FUCKING WEEK TO FEEL JOY????

COME ON MAN

oh fuck yes next week theyre goi g to a volunteer camp

volunteer camp episodes are always comfort episodes so thjis is gonna be GOOD

PUN DID IT BC HE WANTS QTOEY TO SPEND TIME TOGETHER??? BRO HE'STHE WINGMAN OF ALL TIME

well anyway I just wanna see qtoey kiss again :(

ill rewatch that one scene in the meantime

buhbye for now my friends, see yous next week

[jemmo]

ok i was too exhausted to talk about i hear the sunspot last week so now i have 2 weeks worth of ranting saved up and i can feel the tidal wave coming.

edit: i had to add a read more bc this turned into the messiest, most tangent-filled rant. tl;dr idk i just like it

and first off i wanna semi-respond to some discussion ive seen around the show with regards to pacing, that its slow, its frustrating etc. and the extent of my response is... yeah. well, not just yeah. its not that i agree or disagree, its more that i dont have a way to respond that is unbiased or removed from my personal opinion bc i love the show a lot. if i totally detached and looked at it, yeah, maybe i'd think that way. god knows ive said the same thing for many, many other shows and funnily enough its usually one of my least favourite things. at least, i thought it was, but now that i think about it...

ok this is gonna be a tangent but ive now been watching bl and been in the bl space for over 3 years (wow, how did that happen?) and i think its really interesting to think about, and i'd love to hear from others as well, how my taste in bl has changed. what i like, what i dont like, what i value in a show and how much i am willing to invest in or engage with a show. before i got to bl, i was very much looking for bl content. even when i was younger, i was always trying to find queer content and it was usually european, and then in my anime phase i watched all the bl anime, and that led me to cherry magic blah blah you dont need to know the rest. but at that point i was very much hungry to just see queerness on screen. and i mean explicit queerness, not necessary sexual, just like dating and kissing and explicit same sex relationships. and i think in that haze and the height of hyperfixation i watched many shows that i probably wouldnt have the patience to now. i watch a lot less bl now, maybe bc im more busy with work, maybe bc bl is actually getting worse idk, or maybe i just dont have the effort the engage with something when i dont like it, or it just doesnt interest me. and speaking of what i do and don't like, i feel like this lack of patience has also come with this gradual change in what i want for the show. i know bl now, i know its out there, i know more and more is being made every year, im not in short supply of explicit queerness anymore. so now i can be more picky. if i find myself getting bored watching a show, i just wont watch it. and also bc ive been watching bl for years now, i feel like i am developing what my taste in bl is, and thats not exactly something i can describe, for me its more a i know it when i see it kinda thing. thats why i try a lot of shows out but am happy to drop them after a couple of eps when i know i dont vibe with them.

and with shows i dont drop, they usually fall into 2 categories; im actually enjoying it or im just waiting around to see where this goes. and to call myself out, bc of all these things i think it means that im... well, not less critical, but less able to be unbiased when watching a show i do like, bc hey this is the one show out of 10 going on this month that im obsessed with, of course im not gonna be critical of it. and thats not to say i should be critical of i hear the sunspot, more that im not bc my bias and taste just makes me like it. all the things people think are its flaws that i see with other shows, i just dont see, or dont care about, bc i just like it. and thats me with the pacing. in any other show i would probably be bored and impatient. but for me, bc of so many other things, bc of what theyve done with characters in the mean time, bc i just like these characters a lot, the way they interact, the way they think, the whole vibe of the show and what it says, im just not bothered by it. its not an issue to me. and thats my tangent on personal taste and how youre allowed to just not think that a show has flaws when you like it even if other people think its flawed and youre equally critical of other things but anyway.

back to i hear the sunspot. i dont know why i love this slowburn and lack of communication but i just do. maybe its bc the show doesnt feel rushed. ive been frustrated so many other times when shows wait until the final ep for the couple to get together, which im guessing this show is doing, but thats usually bc nothing else about the show is engaging me so it feels like im being left waiting. i dont feel like im left waiting here. here, i feel like everyone as a character is being valued and whatever time i spend with any of them, i love it. i dont find myself waiting until kohei and taichi get a scene together like i have with other shows bc everything else, everything with them individually, everything with maya, with taichi's friends, idk what else to say i just love it all. and that shows bc i cried just as hard at the scene with maya as i did at the scene with kohei and taichi.

and now for just some fave bits, starting with maya. i just love her. people were so ready to be annoyed with her and pick her apart, but i cant scream enough about how amazing it is that the show introduced a female antagonist and managed to, in my eyes anyway, turn her into someone i liked and felt for and just enjoyed watching. finally, a female antagonist that wasnt just disposable after she served her purpose. and whats better is that what we come to learn about her recontextualises her actions when she was first introduced. i just know upon a rewatch that when i first see her acting out and being mean to taichi, i might still be mad at her, but ill also see a girl that is struggling to make it look like she is fine, someone who is trying her hardest to make it appear that she doesnt try at all, that shes fine, shes no burden to anyone, that this huge thing that is scary and difficult to deal with, shes fine with, bc shes just that good, no biggie. that need to make it all seem casual, to not show weakness, is even exactly why she got mad at taichi in the first place, bc she thought he wasnt trying, he was just doing things casually and he was ok with letting people know he wasnt perfect. he didnt take perfect notes and that was ok, he was still trying his hardest. thats like the exact opposite of maya's mindset to be perfect but make it look like shes not trying. and i think that clash was a great thing to add to the show, and so rewarding when taichi finally hit the nail on the head and told her she didnt have to try so hard, that its ok to let, or even make, other people make the effort. its not sympathy or pity, its kindness.

and now for taichi and kohei. there was just so many things that i loved, the scene of kohei cutting onions with his mom, the whole montage in the classroom going through the highlights of taichi taking notes for kohei, the whole vibe at the end where it was never explicitly said but you just knew it was taichi's last day. and i adore the way that kohei didn't ask questions when taichi told him about dropping out, he just had that faith in taichi, there was nothing to question, he believed that whyever it was, whatever it was for, taichi had thought about it and made the decision and that was enough. instead he just talks about taichi, how hes amazing, making him feel good about himself so he can feel both confident in his decision and whatever he does next. and as for taichi, i know we all wanna know why he cant just say he likes kohei and get it over with, but i dont think thats the right sentiment to bring to the show, or at least not the one i have. whatever it is, i just dont mind, bc to me taichi is a person and if he cant bring himself to say it now or doesnt want to or doesnt think its the right time, thats fine. thats the kind of energy gives me anyway, that i shouldnt be pressing these characters for a reason. its similar to how the show doesnt feel rushed, its like im fine if taichi doesnt say it bc theres no deadline, you say your feelings when youre ready and want to and thats just up to him and im not here to rush him, neither is the show. it just gives him the space to figure things out and make his mind up and decide when the time is right, when he isnt on rocky ground with yknow new people being mean to him and making him doubt himself or questioning what he wants to do with his life and taking on something new - like if taichi is overwhelemed by all of that, its fine. and i can hear the argument oh show us that and like yeah, as i said for any other show id say that too but here i dont care. taichi not saying his feelings can be for any reason you want to come up with, the show doesnt need to give us one, nor do we need one to accept he hasnt done it, but also if you want a reason, theres more than enough to draw from the show to come to your own conclusions. that kinda sounds like the most pretencious defence of a show thatsputting off a confession for the final ep but hey its what i think and i vibe with that thinking so there.

honestly, what i feel about this show is that it didn't need to be a bl for me to watch it, bc i adore everything about it that id watch it even if it was just bromance or even pure friendship, but the fact it is that bc its a bl, because it has that romance, it makes it better. and maybe thats why im not bothered by the pacing, bc im not waiting for the bl moments, im just enjoying the show for what it is, for the story its telling, for the characters its created and the message its conveying. and god if i think about it ending next week i will bust a cry so for now, we live in denial.

[the-record]

when emma falls in love

synopsis: ellie might be in love with you, and you might just be in love with her too… if only you could admit it

pairing: college!ellie x fem!reader

warnings: too many tlou references, food, not proofread!!!!! also using angel in place of y/n bc it makes me cringe a little!

a/n: lets play a game called “how many references can kate make in her fics?”

‘IM JUST PRETTY GREAT WITH MY FINGERS’

when emma falls in love, she paces the floor closes the blinds and locks the door when emma falls in love, she calls up her mom jokes about the ways that this one could go wrong

ellie couldn’t keep up.

she felt like every time dina came over, there was someone new in your life, and she couldn’t understand how. you were perfectly nice and even prettier.

but here she was, yet again in her dorm, listening to dina rant about the latest endeavor.

“and he was just a total dick! like, how are you going to say you’re busy tonight with family and then go to a party? like are you stupid?” dina sighed. “i love her, but god does she picks some idiotic ones. you remember the beach girl?”

oh she remembered the beach girl.

on an annual beach trip over spring break, some blonde had caught your eye, and you caught hers. you had invited her to join them for dinner, and how could anyone say no to you?

you hit it off with the blonde, abby, and she spent the next couple days with the group, constantly flirting with you. ellie had felt a sort of dread fill her stomach. why her? she was obviously playing in to what you wanted and she knew you were smart enough to see that.

the trip wrapped up and you made plans with abby, excited she only live a town over. but when the time came, you spent 3 hours at the park waiting for her, only to receive a text saying she wouldn’t be able to make it.

you were upset and crashed at dina’s, and ellie had heard about it all the night.

“yes, god, i remember her. what a douche.” she rolled her eyes, standing up to grab her bag for class. “i’ve gotta go, but are we all still going out tonight?” dina nodded with a smile. “cool. don’t do anything stupid. and lock my door before you leave, please.”

“says you. and i’ll think about it!”

shes walking out the door when she hits something, or someone.

“shit.”

“fuck, sorry my bad.”

when she focuses back, she sees you. “hey, what are you doing here?”

“oh, dina told me to come over. are you going?” you leaned in the doorway. “dina, come on, stop invading people’s space. lets go!”

she groaned, “but ellie said we could smoke here!” she got up nonetheless, heading to join you. “thanks anyways els, have fun in class!”

“bye ellie!”

she sighs as she watches you two walk away. why does air fill her head whenever shes around you?

she waits and takes her time ‘cause little miss sunshine always thinks its gonna rain when emma falls in love, i know that boy will never be the same

“so, angel, how’s it going with you and that girl?” jesse felt a kick at his leg and turned to dina. “what? am i not allowed to ask questions?”

“no, no, it’s fine. we didnt work out, but thats okay!” you smiled brightly at the table. “i think im gonna take a break anyways. im kinda sick of it.”

they all shared a knowing look. “hey, no! i promise, this is for real.”

“hun, its not that we don’t believe you.” ellie started. “iits just that… we dont believe you!” you groaned and stole a fry from her plate. “look, we’ve just heard that a lot, and we dont wanna see you get hurt.”

“but im not going to! because im taking a break.” you kicked ellie. “you dont have to believe me, but can you at least pretend to?” they gave in and cheered for you. “thanks, now who wants to share a brownie?”

“okay, so its c minor sharp, f sharp, b, e, repeat?” you and ellie sat on the dorm room floor, her guitars in both of your laps.

“yea exactly, just on the third repeat, its a g sharp minor instead of a b.” you nodded at her and plucked the chord. “exactly. and i pluck for it so just… just watch?”

she played the song slowly, speaking her pattern as she went along. you nodded at her when she finished, figuring you knew it well enough. “okay, play it together?”

“yep!”

she counted down before starting, making you smile.

“talking away, i dont know what im to say. ill say it anyway, todays another day to find you shying away. ill be coming for your love, okay.” you hummed a harmony as ellie sang the words.

“are you sure you don’t usually play? youre a total natural at this.” ellie marveled as you let the last chord hum out.

“i guess im just pretty good with my fingers.” you felt your cheeks blaze as you heard back what you said.

dina chuckled, “damn right!” she stood up, going for the door. “gonna grab a bottle of water. play more for us beautiful ladies!”

ellie taught you the rest of the song, both of you more awkward than usual. you really came along it so fast, ellie was amazed.

“okay, seriously, you have to be messing with me because you are way to good at this.”

“i promise! i only took piano lessons.”

‘cause shes the kind of book that you cant put down like if cleopatra grew up in a small town and all the bad boys would be good boys if they only had the chance to love her and to tell you the truth sometimes i wish i was her

ellie had a thought that she might be, maybe, just could be a little in love with you.

she couldnt be though. right?

sure, she knew all of your favorite foods, and knew the words to your favorite song, knew your favorite books like the back of her hand, could tell anyone how you took your coffee.

but that was friendly. you guys were friendly. friends.

she guessed you guys hung out a lot, but thats because they always hung out as a group. she might’ve gotten excited when you joined, but that doesnt mean anything.

and of course she had noticed you were pretty. gorgeous, even. but so had everyone else. its not like she had purposefully memorized your features. every line and mark.

she could draw jesse from memory perfectly, its not like she liked him.

it was normal.

totally normal.

fuck.

“where’s angel?” ellie asked, looking to dina.

“not coming.” she sighed, digging around her purse for a pack of gum. “said she was busy, but she wouldn’t say why.”

“i think we all know why,” jesse teased. they all gave him a look, but he leveled them with one of his own. “im not insulting her. its just that, this isn’t exactly out of her nature. i mean seriously, who actually took her promise seriously?”

ellie excused herself to the bathroom, dialing you before she even reached the door.

“hello?”

“hey, where are you?” she picked at the already chipping nail polish she had on.

“uhm, im out.” you sighed. “look, im kind of busy. did you need somet-“

she had to cut to the chase. “are you on a date?”

“excuse me?”

“are you on a date?”

“thats none of your business.”

“oh fuck off, you know it very much is. so. are you?”

“fine, yea i am. now can i get back to it?”

“we are talking later.”

she joined the group back at their table, but couldnt focus back in on the conversation.

“you okay, ellie?” she looked up at dina, nodding with a hum.

“yea, sorry, got lost for a second.”

when emma falls apart, its when shes alone she takes on the pain and bears it on her own ‘cause when emma falls in love, she’s in it for keeps she wont walk away unless she knows she absolutely has to leave

she didnt even bother to knock, just walked straight through your dorm room door.

“ellie, what the hell?” you were in bed, a book in hand and music playing from a speaker. “what happened to knocking?”

ellie b-lined for your bed, taking a seat at the foot of it. “why were you on a date?”

“dude, seriously, what if i was naked? so not okay!” you placed a bookmark on your page and set the book to the side.

“okay, fine im sorry!” she groaned and found your eyes. “now why were you on a date? what happened to taking a break?”

“what do you want me to say, els?” you exhaled and looked down at your hands. “that i cant keep anything? that i cant keep promises or partners?” ellie felt bad as she saw your eyes were glossy and the frown on your face. “im sorry im such a screwup and that i cant do anything right. anything else?”

ellie ran her fingers through her hair. “im sorry.” she crossed her legs on your bed and looked at you. “really im sorry, this was so uncalled for. youre right, its not my business. im really sorry. i just wan-“

she froze.

surely you couldnt be kissing her right now.

before she could even think to reciprocate, you pulled away, a deer in headlights look on your face.

“im so sorry.” you whispered moving away from her. “god, im so so sorry. you should go. im sorry.” she opened her mouth to try and say anything, but you beat her to it. “ellie, please, just go.”

she saw the tears well and felt compelled to stay. but her body went against her, forcing her feet to walk out the door to her own room.

e: you cant ignore me forever. read

e: please angel, just talk to me. read

e: you kissed me, not the other way around. stop making this my fault. read

e: millers, noon? just coffee, i promise. read

a: im sorry.

ellie tossed her phone at her bed.

“whats up with you?” dina probed. “youve been… peeved this week. whats up?”

“who the hell says peeved?” she tried to joke but was met with dinas serious face. “im fine! seriously!” god that face made her break. “okay fine, just… dont tell anyone.”

dina nodded excitedly and sat down infront of her.

“angel kissed me, and then she freaked out and made me leave, and now she wont even talk to me!” ellie fell back onto her bed.

“SHE KISSED YOU?” dina squealed. “OH MY GOD, HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME SOONER!”

“did you hear nothing else that i said?”

and shes the kind of book that you cant put down like if cleopatra grew up in a small town and all the bad boys would be good boys if they only had the chance to love her and to tell you the truth sometimes i wish i was her

e: please, im begging you, just talk to me. read

a: what do you want me to say ellie?

e: literally anything. read

a: i messed up els, okay?

a: i shouldn’t have kissed you. im sorry.

e: but you should have. and you did. read

a: what?

e: meet me at millers? read

a: ellie…

e: please. read

a: omw.

e: thank you omg. read

a coffee was waiting on the table for you when you arrived. you sat across from ellie, hesitantly taking the drink. “you wanted to talk.” you talk a sip, finding it tasted like your usual order. “so talk.”

“okay look… i’m just as confused and nervous as you are.” she laughed nervously and fiddled with her own cup. “but, im glad you kissed me.”

“what?”

“yea i know.” she took a deep breath before continuing. “i only recently, like very recently, realized my feelings were misplaced. i really dont wanna be friends.”

you groaned, “and you couldnt have just texted me that?”

“fucks sake, just let me finish!” she pleaded, picking back up when you sat back into your chair. “i like you. like, a crazy lot, and it freaks me out. so please, let me at least take you on one date. if not, its fine, we just cant be friends. i wouldnt be able to stand it.”

you chewed at a nail as you took in what she had said.

“say something.”

a beat of silence before.

“okay.”

“okay?” she whispered.

“yea, okay. you can take me on a date.”

well, shes so new york when shes in l.a. she wont lose herself in love the way that i did ‘cause she’ll call you out she’ll put you in your place when emma falls in love, im learning

“hey, hurry up, im waiting downstairs for you.”

ellies voice rang through your room as you placed her on speaker.

“nuh uh, im not done. you asked me out, now deal with the consequences. ill be down when im ready.” you pulled out your outfit, throwing it on as you spoke. “just scroll on insta or something if you’re that bored.”

“fine.”

she hung up and you couldn’t help but laugh. you had been so nervous in the days leading up to this, but suddenly felt much better as she yelled at you like normal.

you finally met her at her car, hopping in the passenger seat and connecting your phone.

“the hell are you doing?” ellie squealed.

you scoffed and rolled your eyes. “passengers princess gets aux. suck it up loser.” you queued up songs as she pulled out and onto the main road. “where are we going anyways?”

“you’ll see.”

“god you are so annoying.”

and yet you smiled at her.

“an arcade? really?” you looked at her with eyebrows raised.

she shrugged and unbuckled, opening her door to get out. you shook your head, shocked still you were on a date with ellie williams. at the arcade.

she pulled you through the maze of a place to some own machine. “mortal kombat? what even is this?”

she smiled so bright, you couldnt help but smile back. “just wait, its so fun.”

emma met a boy with eyes like a man turns out her heart fits in the palm of his hand now he’ll be her shelter when it rains little does he know, his whole world’s about to change

“it was totally fun right? c’mon, you can admit it!” she pushed your shoulder, seeing your smiling face.

“okay yes, fine it was fun, i had fun!” you laughed, staring at her face. “i never really noticed you had this many freckles.”

you traced a finger across her cheeks. down the slope of her nose. across her eyebrow, stopping to poke the scar running through the left one.

“you’re pretty.” you whispered.

she blushed. “i think you’re gorgeous.” she whispered back.

her eyes were so pretty.

“can i kiss you?”

‘cause shes the kind of book that you cant put down like if cleopatra grew up in a small town and all the bad boys would be good boys if they only had the chance to love her and to tell you the truth sometimes i wish i was her

“please.”

yeah, between me and you sometimes i wish i was her