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unluckywisher · 2 days ago
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-> Audiovisual references <- -> AO3 Link <-
Summary: You go with Nero to a Wanderer Convention (the LaDS equivalent of Comic-Con) and shenanigans ensue after you win a cosplay contest...
Content: MDNI Porn with plot, hanging out with Nero, tension between you two, a bunch of cliche situations, Carter cameo because yes, experienced dom!fem!Reader, virgin extremely sub!Nero, coworkers to lovers, handjob, fingering, blowjob, p in v sex with protection (cowgirl to cuddling), overstimulation (crying), pussy eating, pegging, aftercare.
Word count: ~15k (this got out of my hands so fast) (+ extra at the end)
A/N: I wrote this for me and the other 3 freaks in the fandom who like Nero. I had so many ideas and scenes in mind but it honestly felt like too much for ONE fic so... Don't be surprised if I write more stuff for Nero in the future. I'm far from done. Mwah <3
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There was a stillness in the air, uncomfortable for anyone who could feel it. In this case, most of the Hunters in the room could, except for the one who had caused it.
Nero had barged into the floor where you all worked, waving two pieces of paper high in the air, yelling, “I got free tickets for the WandererCon, and they let me bring a +1, so who wants to come!?”
It had been so out of character for him, to be so loud and cheerful, that you all had turned from your desks to stare at him. The question now was, who wanted to go with him? He was the only one that liked Wanderers to that extent.
And so, a silence fell across the room. His expression started to falter, realizing how embarrassing it was to yell such a thing to his coworkers, and the lifted hand with the tickets began to plummet.
“Me! I wanna go!” You jumped, feeling nothing but pity for the poor guy.
He brightened up again, “Really?”
You walked up to him, giving Tara a look, and nodded. “Yeah, when is it?”
Back to his usual introversion, but motivated by your display of interest, he presented the ticket to you. “This weekend… It lasts the whole two days, b-but! We can go at whatever day and time is best for you…”
You took the ticket. It was a bright blue piece of laminated paper with a drawing of a chibi Wanderer waving glow sticks, the words ‘Come wander through WandererCon! Weekend pass for 1. Only valid if presented with its twin ticket.’ were written in glittery white. He was holding an identical one.
There was a choice to make. Clearly, Nero wanted to spend the whole weekend at this event, which would mean sacrificing all of yours for his happiness. Would it really be that bad? It was a once-a-year event, and the guy didn’t really have friends outside of forums to go to this with.
“I’m completely free this weekend, so let’s make the most of it!” You smiled.
Blush creeped up his face, mouth opening and closing a couple of times, fighting the urge to assure you that - No, it’s really okay if you don’t want to spend the whole weekend there - because damn it, he did actually want to do that, and since you were offering so nicely…
“Okay!” He finally exclaimed, clutching his ticket tight.
“We can discuss the details later, we have to go back to work or Jenna will think we’re slacking.”
“R-right, yeah, of course…” He stumbled over to his desk, glancing at you once over his shoulder before disappearing behind his wall of monitors.
On your way back to yours, Tara rolled his chair closer, whispering, “That was nice of you. You know, I doubt he would have complained if you had only offered an hour of your time.”
“It’s fine. I really didn’t have plans for this weekend, anyways.”
“Have fun. And good luck with Nero… He’s probably going to be very excitable.”
You chuckled. “Thanks. I’ll buy you something.”
Hours later, it was time to head back home.
You turned off your computer and walked over to Nero’s. He was typing up a storm and didn’t notice you approaching. An extensive document analyzing the material and composition of Wanderer’s body-formed blades, and whether or not they can be considered an exoskeleton. You recalled Jenna asking for such a report earlier, but you didn’t expect a whole dissertation about it. Squinting, you could see that there were… 143 pages of text, all written today.
“Damn, fast fingers…” You muttered, before realizing you had said it out loud.
The typing stopped abruptly. “What?” He swiveled in his chair, face pale in shock, not quite meeting your eyes.
“Nothing! I just, um, came here to say ‘I’ll text you later to discuss what we’ll do tomorrow’, so, yeah, message delivered. I’ll leave now.” You waved goodbye, smiling awkwardly.
“Okay.” He nodded, waving back. He was still recovering from your words, though he couldn’t tell if he had heard correctly.
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You arrived home and sighed. Were you truly ready for the activities of the next two days? Only time could tell.
After having dinner, now relaxing in your living room, you opened the messaging app. You couldn’t remember the exact moment you two had exchanged phone numbers, but this would be the first time you had texted each other, and the revelation made you strangely self-conscious about what your introductory message should be. Shaking your head, you went for something simple.
-> CLICK HERE TO PLAY THE TEXT MESSAGES! <-
Your patience be damned, you were determined to help Nero have a good time at the convention no matter what. Setting the phone down, you walked to your closet and rummaged around for the Lumiere costume, which was pleasantly clean and ready to be worn.
Goal in mind, you went to bed, ready for whatever the weekend would bring.
The alarm went off, signaling the start of your (most probably) eventful day. You rolled out of bed, had breakfast, took a shower, and commenced the Lumierification. 
In theory, it was simple, but it took you a minute to manage to fully zip up the dress since you couldn’t reach, and the thigh highs refused to stay on your thighs until you used fashion tape, not to mention the mask kept tilting to one side.
Eventually, everything was perfectly in place, hair and make up as well. Just in time, too, since the clock now read 10:30. You grabbed your bag and made your way out.
Parked outside was an unremarkable small gray car, but that was the last thing in your thoughts. Leaning on it with his arms crossed, stood a perfect recreation of a Luminivore, so much so that your first instinct was to reach for your gun - even if you weren’t carrying it.
Whatever cool and composed attitude Nero had went right out of the window once he saw you approach, uncrossing and crossing his arms again only to uncross them and scratch the back of his neck, which he couldn’t, because of the costume, so he let them drop and shifted on his feet.
“You- You said-,” he coughed, sound muffled through the headpiece, “I thought you were going to wear-”
You looked down at yourself. Ooooh, right. He was probably expecting a male version of the costume.
“My bad, sorry for the confusion,” you waved a hand in the air, chuckling, “I guess I’m a female version of Lumiere. Is that okay?”
“Okay?” he said a little louder than intended, “Yes, of course- Of course it’s okay.”
You stepped closer to look at his costume. “This looks amazing, by the way.”
He froze.
“Don’t tell me you drove here wearing that helmet, though, because… That seems dangerous.”
He quickly shook his head. “N-no, I didn’t, I just wanted to show you the whole thing put together…”
“Ah, good,” you lifted your hand to touch one of the glowing ridges on his arm, “You did a great job. Looks just like the real thing.”
“Thanks,” he squeaked out.
You clapped your hands together and smiled. “Well, let’s go! We have a great day ahead of us!”
The noise made him straighten up. He nodded and reached up to take off the headpiece. Under it, he looked like always, glasses lopsided and hair a bit ruffled from wearing the Wanderer’s head, but nothing different. You also took note of the red hue on his cheeks, but you attributed it to the same cause as the others. He smiled and gestured for you to get in the car.
The drive was mostly silent, except for the music coming from the radio. Nero had asked you if you wanted to put on your own playlist because ‘his music taste was bad’, but you shook your head, so he settled for the radio. Otherwise, neither of you talked.
You decided to look up what the event’s activities were. He had probably planned it out already, but you were still curious.
A lecture on Wanderers by a Xander scientist, a card tournament - you didn’t know they sold cards, a Meet and Greet with some renowned Hunters, a cosplay contest, a Twinkle Toys plushie reveal, a DIY Protocore candy station… The list went on. It seemed like people took this more seriously than you thought. There were also many merch stands all over the enclosure.
One of the activities stood out to you, though.
“Are you going to enter the cosplay contest?”
He gripped the steering wheel, “N-no. Why are you asking..?”
“You should! You have a shot at winning with yours.”
“Mmm… I don’t know. I’d have to go up a stage, with so many people looking…”
“It’s up to you. In my opinion, you could win, but I might be biased because we’re friends,” you giggled.
He chuckled, brow a bit furrowed.
An hour later, you arrived at the place where the convention would be held. It turned out that there was a parking lot reserved for those attending, so you didn’t have to go in circles looking for an empty spot.
You got out of the car and stretched, looking around. Quite a few people - some in costume, some not - were already gathering at the entrance.
Nero put the headpiece back on and walked a few steps towards the crowd, before stopping and turning to make sure you were following. He tilted his head in a “coming?” gesture.
Sliding your tote bag up your shoulder, you skipped along.
A queue rapidly formed, with a coordination you didn’t expect from a group of sleep deprived nerds. Some of them looked at you - more like ogled at you. Great.
“QuantumSocialite?” A random guy approached Nero, calling him by his username. His friends gasped and whispered among themselves.
“...Yes?”
“Dude, it’s me, LuxLuxLucis.”
“The Lightchasers mod? Oh, wow!”
“You really wore the costume! It looks insane. You’re a legend. The material looks so accurate, how did you do it?”
“Thank you. I analyzed many Luminivore pictures and samples of their chitinous exterior, then compared what materials would be best to use without risking the quality while…”
Aaand just like that, you stopped paying attention. Instead, you noticed how this guy’s friends kept whispering stuff and giggling while looking at Nero. They were giving you major bad vibes. Pretending to be still listening to the incomprehensible yapping, you shuffled closer and eavesdropped on what they were saying.
“...paid her to come along with him.”
“For sure, he’s chronically online and he made that costume, there’s no way a female is hanging out with him willingly.”
“Wow, you guys know a lot about Wanderers,” you said pointedly, joining Nero’s conversation, “I’m actually learning a lot. I’m really happy I was the one that got to be your +1 and not our coworkers,” you gave him a warm smile.
The whispering ceased, now replaced by confused looks. He was completely still, his thoughts a mystery since his face was hidden.
“If you want to learn about Wanderers, you’re in good hands,” said the guy he was talking to, “He’s the most knowledgeable in that area.”
“I know! He really is. I’m really lucky we came together.”
Nero looked down at his clawed gloves, fidgeting with them. The two trash talkers were staring in anger, which you interpreted as jealousy since they were most likely projecting. Suck it.
Just then, an announcement rang out, stating the opening of the gates and the inauguration of the convention. Everyone got their tickets ready and began entering the place.
People were getting a bit pushy and the crowd got thick around you, so you hooked your arm around Nero’s to avoid getting lost or trampled, feeling safer next to his bulky costume. He jerked his head towards you, then realized why you were standing that close to him, and folded his arm to let you hold onto him better. An imperceptible tremble ran across his body.
You both walked to the gates and presented your tickets.
“Alright, let’s see… Couples’ weekend passes… Everything looks in order! Have fun,” the staff member smiled.
“...couples’?” You asked when he was out of earshot.
“W-wait, n-no, I- I didn’t, I mean-,” he gestured wildly with his hands, “They w-were given to me, you remem-ber, how I said, I said I got them for f-free? But I didn’t want to uhh… Um, to make it weird! At the office! S-so I skipped the fact that they were for, uh, couples…”
You chuckled, “Nero, it’s okay, I was asking out of pure curiosity. I have nothing against them being for couples.”
“O-oh. Okay. Right. Ha…” He visibly relaxed at your reassurance.
“So, what do you want to do first?”
“I was thinking we could walk around and see all the stands. Should be enough time until the first scheduled event…”
“Sure! Let’s go.”
It was a big space with rows of stalls selling merch, but also ‘official’ booths, including a Hunter’s equipment showcase, one for the show Super Hunters - with exclusive art never seen before, another with Lumiere memorabilia straight from Linkon’s History museum, Wanderers’ life-sized replicas…
Obviously, you visited all of these with Nero. Even took a picture of him next to the Luminivore replica per his request. It was cute seeing him struggle to find a good pose.
“The lecture is going to start soon… I’m going to head over there, but if you’re not interested, you don’t have to go.”
“The Xander lecture? No, I’m going with you,” you said with determination. You didn’t tell him that it was because you thought they were shady as hell and this was a good opportunity to get further information about them, but it’s not like he needed to know.
With Nero’s planning, you managed to get a good seat at the lecture hall before it filled up. He took off the headpiece to be able to see better and to avoid bothering the people behind him, placing it on his lap. Both your bags rested between your feet.
A staff member appeared, microphone in hand. “Hello everyone, and welcome to Xander Sciences’ lecture on the nature of Wanderers. Without further delay, let me introduce the man who will be speaking today, Dr. Carter!”
Everyone clapped as the man himself walked onstage. You were immediately on high alert, eyes trained on him.
“Thank you, thank you. It’s a pleasure to be here,” he took the microphone.
The next hour was spent picking at every word he said, trying to find any kind of incriminating loose threads, but it was clear the lecture was well rehearsed and none of what he said was useful to you, even if the way he talked about Wanderers put you on edge.
At the end, you grabbed Nero’s arm and pulled him along, “I want to talk to Dr. Carter for a moment.”
“Okay,” he followed, cheeks pink.
The rest of the attendants walked to the exit, which gave you a clear path towards the stage’s stairs.
“Dr. Carter!” You called out, waving your hand up.
He stopped for a moment, surprised to see you there. He smiled, “Ah, Miss Hunter, it’s a pleasure to see you again. I didn’t know I’d have such esteemed listeners in the audience today,” he extended his hand to shake yours. You didn’t.
“It’s an honor to meet you in person, Dr. Carter, that was a very insightful lecture,” said Nero.
“The honor is mine. You seem to be a Wanderer enthusiast,” he looked at his costume.
“He’s my coworker,” you cut in, putting a little more emphasis on ‘my’ than you intended, “don’t bother trying to recruit him for anything.”
“As cold as ever I see, Miss Hunter. It was a simple observation, I didn’t even say anything.”
“Why did you decide to give a lecture here, Dr. Carter?” You ignored his remarks.
“Why not? I’ve done a lot of research on Wanderers, and I thought it’d be best to share my knowledge with those seeking it.”
You were sure there was something more to this than that, but you doubted he would outright admit it. It could even be something much simpler, shameless Xander Sciences publicity to make people interested in being under their care, whatever that entailed. You hoped people wouldn’t fall for it.
He continued, “Since you’re here, you wouldn’t by chance be interested in a quick chat between us, would you?” He took half a step closer.
You felt a weight around your shoulders, pulling you back. Nero, who had been silently watching, spoke with a frown.
“She clearly wants nothing to do with you. What do you think you’re doing?”
You looked at him, eyebrows raised. He had a very determined look on his face, one you had only seen when someone insulted Lumiere in his vicinity, and to be honest, he was kind of intimidating. Kind of.
The tension could be cut with a knife. They glared at each other for what felt like an eternity. If it was your turn to say anything, they were out of luck, because you had no idea what to say. Finally, Carter stepped back and slid his hands in his pockets.
“Have fun in the convention, Miss Hunter. And your Wanderer pet too,” he smirked.
He walked away, leaving you both huffing at his arrogance. No, actually, as you looked at Nero, you discovered you were the only one huffing. He was tomato red.
“You had more things planned for today, right?” You snapped him out of it.
“A-ah, yes,” he pushed his glasses up, “let’s go have lunch.”
There were food trucks stationed outside of the convention center. The walk helped Nero calm down, though he couldn’t seem to look you in the eye. He wished he could put the headpiece back on, but it was a pointless action since you were about to eat and he’d have to take it off again.
After some deciding, you settled for skewers of deep fried chicken that were easy to eat standing up. You chose the honey sauce, he chose the sweet and sour sauce. For something so simple, it was delicious - the queue you had to wait was definitely worth it.
“Do you want to try mine?” You held up a skewer to him.
His eyes darted between it and your face, blinking.
“I mean, we got different flavors, so…” You shrugged.
At that, he shook his head like he was getting rid of his thoughts, then nodded.
“Okay. I’ll trade you- Mhmph!?”
You didn’t give him a chance to finish his sentence - ‘one of my skewers for one of yours’ - not that you had heard the beginning of it in the first place. All you heard was him agreeing to try yours. 
You shoved the skewer into his mouth.
It took him a moment to understand what just had happened, but when it dawned on him, he turned red again. You were confused as to why he was staring at you instead of biting.
“...”
“...”
He bit down and gently pushed your hand away.
“How is it? Good, right?”
“Y-yes…”
“Can I try yours now?”
He lifted a skewer to give it to you in hand, but you-
“Aaah…” You opened your mouth expectantly.
The chances of him surviving this weekend decreased with every minute he spent by your side. Alas, he moved the skewer closer to your mouth with a trembling hand. You met him halfway and bit down on it, causing him to flinch.
You tore off a piece of the fried chicken, relishing in the taste with a “mmmm” as you chewed. By this point, he was fully looking away, covering his mouth with his gloved hand; it was so difficult to keep a clear mind.
“Yours is really good too!”
He hummed in response.
After finishing the food, a few people in cosplay walked past, followed by more, and more groups. The contest must have been about to start.
“You’re really not going to participate?” You asked.
Nero shook his head. He had put the helmet back on, to feel less ‘exposed’ more than anything.
“Is there any way I could convince you? What if we went together? You wouldn’t be alone,” you pulled out your phone, “I read there’s exclusive merch as reward for the winners that won’t be obtainable otherwise, and, look, there’s even a surprise prize for the couples’ category.”
You swore you heard him inhale sharply.
“We already have the couples’ tickets, don’t we? What’s the harm?”
You knew you were pushing him a bit too much, but you were sure that deep down he wanted to join the contest, all he needed was some bribing convincing, and limited merch was sure to do the trick.
“…Do you really want to join?”
“Yeah! It’ll be fun. Unless you think my costume isn’t that good. I don’t want to bring our score down.”
“No, no, no! Your costume is perfect! You look perfect. It would be great if we went together, actually…”
It was crazy to you that he got flustered over the smallest things but was able to say that to you with no trouble. Maybe he didn’t notice what he just said.
“Great! Let’s go register, then!”
Following the cosplayers, you walked back inside towards the hall where the contest would be held. They all looked fantastic, from many other Lumieres, to Wanderers of all kinds (a girl dressed as Heartbreaker was so cute), to characters from the Super Hunters show. All could be winners. But you looked to your left to the nervous mess that was walking alongside you, and you were certain that he would score the highest.
Names written, you were given the number 34 to go onstage. While you waited for your turn, you made sure everything about your costumes was in place. You even managed to convince him to practice some poses.
“I’m not sure about this…” He fidgeted with one of the protruding crystals on his elbow.
“We’re already inscribed, you can’t chicken out now.”
“I… There’s so many people here…”
“Nero,” you swatted his hand away so he wouldn’t ruin his own costume, “forget about them. Don’t look at them. Just look at me. We’re going to crush this, okay?”
He nodded faintly.
“When we go up there, keep your eyes on me if you want. Pretend the judges don’t exist.”
“O-okay.”
And so he did. When you two went onstage, his eyes didn’t stray from you. Not as you unsheathed your sword and struck a pose, not as you pretended to fight him, not as you gave a final smile and bow to the judges, not as you grabbed his arm and dragged him off the stage. The thing was, hadn’t you told him to keep his eyes on you, he still would have. He had been marveling at you from the corner of his eye whenever he had worn the helmet.
“You did great, Nero!” You clapped, giddy. “We’re gonna win for sure!”
He fidgeted under your praise, “Thank you.”
The rest of the contestants had their turn, which made you increasingly nervous; you wanted to know the results as soon as possible. You had gone through the trouble of convincing Nero, it would be a shame if you didn’t get at least a minor prize.
“And now, on the couples’ category…” The voice of the presenter echoed backstage, “In third place, couple 52!” Applause. The respective couple walked out. “In second place, couple 19!” More applause. They walked out, too. “Before we announce first place, a few honorable mentions…” Oh, come on. 
“It’s okay if we don’t win,” Nero said with a soft voice.
You took his hand, “We are going to win.”
You had only taken his hand to calm down your own nerves, excitement and anticipation coursing through your veins, but it also helped him relax slightly, as long as he didn’t think too hard about the fact that he was holding your hand.
“In first place…” You both tensed up. “Couple 34!”
He squeezed your hand in reflex. Time stopped for a second. It wasn’t until a staff member pushed you both towards the stage that your face broke into a big smile, jumping and shaking Nero.
You were received with applause, like the previous couples. They made you walk to the center of the stage, standing between the other two pairs of winners, who were also clapping. The judges spoke.
“Congratulations to all of the winners, and thank you to everyone who participated. If you may all please take off the parts covering your faces so we can see our champions properly…”
The couples beside you took off theirs, you took off the Lumiere mask, and Nero took off the helmet. Applause followed. He smiled shyly, looking around at the crowd. Confetti rained down. Lost in the excitement of the moment, you moved closer to give Nero a kiss on the cheek. Just as he was turning to you.
Now, it’s not like you kissed him. But your lips did land on the corner of his mouth. 
You blinked at each other.
“H-HUH?” He reeled back, covering his flushed face.
No time to explain yourself, as the staff members brought the prizes and shoved them into your hands. A large basket filled with all kinds of merch was given to all three pairs of participants.
“And for the couple who placed first, a special bonus! WandererCon has collaborated with a nearby hotel for a unique experience, offering you both a one-night stay!”
The staff gave you some documents detailing everything.
“That concludes this years’ contest…” The judge continued, but you weren’t listening anymore.
Because if what the documents said was true, you were about to spend the night with Nero in a room with one bed. Judging by the look on his face, he had just read that part, too.
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“We have to tell them, that there’s been a… Um. A mistake,” he told you later, sitting on a bench, helmet back on to hide his expression.
“What if we tell them that we’re not a couple and they take away our prizes? They would question why we entered the couples’ category if we’re not one,” you reasoned.
The thought of losing the merch made him pause.
“It’ll be fine. I read that the room has a couch. One of us can sleep on it. And! Did you read the part about the Wanderer-themed food they’ll be serving us for dinner and breakfast? That sounds amazing.”
“Yeah… It does…” 
In the end, he relented. That’s how you found yourself taking the keys to the room in the hotel’s reception, where you were informed of all the amenities and services provided.
A few of the guests gave you weird looks, but the receptionist asked to take a picture with you both.
“You must be the winners of the contest!” She had said with excitement. “Well, lovebirds, enjoy the room,” she added at the end of her explanation, winking.
The ride in the elevator was awkward after that moment. Floor 1… Floor 2… Floor 3… All the way to floor 6.
Luckily, the luxuriousness of the room took over all of your thoughts as you stepped in. It made you wonder what WandererCon could gain by partnering with this hotel for such a sum of money spent on this suite.
“The description on the document did not do this place justice,” you commented.
“Yeah… That sofa is bigger than my bed back at home…” He took off the helmet to see the place better.
The floor-to-ceiling windows gave you a view of the hotel’s garden below. A massive TV hung from the wall, coffee table and sofa in front of it. There was even a kitchenette in a corner, minifridge filled to the brim with free stuff that you couldn’t help but want to try right away just because it was free.
To the left, the entrance to the bedroom. If the sofa was already big enough to sleep, the canopy bed must’ve been king size. On it, a pair of folded pajamas and a change of underwear had been left, as well as a gift basket filled with…
“I’m going to put that away,” you said promptly, not giving Nero the chance to process its contents.
You opened the wardrobe and shoved it in the lowest space available.
“Woah… Look at this,” he beckoned from the bathroom door.
Peeking from his shoulder, the only word that you could really use to describe what you were seeing was lavish. Marble floors and walls, a massive shower, a massive sink under a massive mirror, and of course, to top it off, a massive jacuzzi. The reason for their sizes being that they were meant to be used by two people at once.
Room fully explored, you sat down on the sofa to discuss what to do next.
“They’ll bring us dinner as soon as we ask for it. I don’t know about you, but I want to take a shower and change first,” you said, taking off some of the costume’s accessories.
“Uh, yeah, no, I agree. You can use the bathroom first, I’ll go after you.”
“Okay. Thanks.”
You took the provided clothes and stepped into the bathroom, feeling tiny. It was easy to take off most of what you were wearing, except the same item that gave you trouble when you first got Lumierefied: The dress. You tried to reach the zipper at the top of your back from different angles, but you couldn’t get enough leverage to pull it down.
“Damn it.”
Nero was on his phone when you walked back to the sofa, presumably on one of his forums.
“Hey.”
He almost dropped his phone, startled. “Yeah?” He turned to you.
“I can’t unzip my dress. Would you mind helping me?”
Instantly red. And phone dropped.
You turned around to show him the zipper. “If you pull it a bit I think I can reach the rest of the way.”
He had taken off his clawed gloves already to be able to use his phone, so he had no excuse to procrastinate. As he moved to stand behind you, you could feel his shaky breaths on your nape, and you could swear you heard his heart hammering in his chest.
Ziiip.
It was faster than you had expected. Then again, you guessed he wanted to be done with it as soon as possible.
“T-there.”
“Thank you!”
Back in the bathroom, you took off the dress and turned on the shower. If you had been on your own, you would have tried the jacuzzi, but you didn’t want to take up too much time.
The water was nice and hot, not to mention the shampoo and gel given by the hotel smelled really good. Like coconut.
You finished showering and wrapped a towel around your body, drying your hair a bit too. There were a few steps in your post-shower routine that you usually went through, but you remembered that Nero was quite resolute about cleanliness and would want to use the shower as soon as possible, so in the name of efficiency, you took your clothes and lotions out of the bathroom and into the bedroom.
“I’m done! You can go now,” you called out.
“Okay!”
He came trotting through the door, only to freeze and cover his eyes with his hands upon seeing your towel-clad form.
“Y-you said you were d-done…” His voice got quieter and quieter.
“I am! I know you like being clean, and you already did me a favor by letting me go first, so you can shower while I finish changing here!”
“It’s okay… Really, I, I can wait…”
“Nonsense. Come on.”
You grabbed his set of clothes and pushed them into his hands, forcing him to look at you, the way you wet hair clung to your skin, your flushed cheeks due to the heat of the water, the dangerously low point the towel was resting on your chest- He swallowed.
Completely ignoring his wandering eyes, moreso because it amused you, you grabbed his arm and forced him into the bathroom.
“See? Was that so difficult?”
You closed the door before he could answer, but he had little to say.
Time to finish your self-care routine. You grabbed the body moisturizer and started applying it to your arms and legs, the texture soft. Would they tell you the brand if you asked in the hotel’s reception?
While you pondered this, there was a crash.
“Nero…? You okay?”
“U-uh, yeah! I- I fell trying to get this off…”
“Having trouble with your costume, too? Yours looks harder to put on and take off than mine.”
“I didn’t really have trouble putting it on, but now…”
“Okay, let me help,” you knocked.
The door opened a crack, then closed as soon as he saw you.
“You- Ah, mm… Change first.” 
“I can’t put on the pajamas yet, I have to let the lotion dry. Just come out.”
One second of silence. Two seconds of silence. The door opened again.
Making a gesture with your hands for him to move closer, you instructed him to lean down so you could pull off the upper part of the costume. He was glad he didn’t have to look at you and could look at the floor instead.
It was difficult to find the right amount of force to use, since you didn’t want to ruin it, but you had to get it unstuck.
So you pulled, and pulled, and pulled, each time with a bit more strength- Too late. The piece came off, but now there was no time to brake. You stumbled back, making Nero stumble forward, the costume part flying off backwards over your head and landing on the other side of the room… Just as you landed on the floor and Nero on top of you.
“Ow…” You reached to rub your head. At least there was a carpet.
“I- Uh- Um- I-”
You blinked your eyes open to see why Nero was speechless now. Ah. The towel.
It wasn’t completely off, but a straight line of skin was exposed from your right shoulder to your right thigh. That included half of your chest.
The rest was covered, but it’s not like it mattered right now.
He couldn’t function. His eyes were glued to your body, and his face was poppy red. Even his glasses were fogging up.
“Oh, please,” you rolled your eyes, “Nero, it’s a body part. You’ve never seen a body?”
He didn’t answer, still overwhelmed.
Well, since this had happened, you might as well have fun.
“Look.”
You grabbed his hand that was planted next to your head and pressed it to your breast, lifting an eyebrow.
“See? Just a body part.”
He squeaked and reeled back, pulling his hand free and crawling away from you. You sat up with a mischievous smile.
“Be honest,” you started, crawling towards him, “you like all this, don’t you? When I’m close to you, when I pay attention to you, when I touch you…”
He whimpered in response. The towel had fully fallen off by now.
“You act all shy, but we both know… You’ve been wanting this from the beginning.”
You reached him, caging him beneath you as he lay flat on the ground to stay as far away from you as possible. He was wearing a white T-shirt under the upper part of the costume, but he had yet to remove the bottom half, and you were certain that there was no space for him to wear pants of any kind under it, so he must be in boxers.
“I won’t do anything else unless I have your permission. If you want me to continue, you have to say it.”
Droplets from your wet hair fell on his face. Somehow, he managed to keep eye contact.
“You…” His chest fell and rose. “K-kiss me again, like before? P-please…”
Right, the accidental kiss. Had he been thinking about it this whole time? It was a quite innocent request compared to the situation you had put him in, but surprisingly direct coming from Nero.
His eyes darted to your lips several times, but he didn’t dare move.
“You want me to kiss you,” you repeated, then smirked, “is that all?”
He made a sound of protest and frustration. His fingers clutched the carpet in an attempt to hold himself back from doing anything embarrassing. He shook his head.
“No? What else? Use your words, pretty boy.”
His hand flew to his mouth. Did you really just call him that? You chuckled.
“Fine, we’ll take it slow.”
You pulled his hand away and pinned his arms to the floor. Slowly, so slowly, you leaned down until your lips brushed against his. Nothing more than a feather touch had him already gasping.
“Let’s see…” You whispered, “this is what I did before.”
Repeating what had happened in the contest, you kissed the corner of his lips. This time, however, letting the contact last longer, and making sure that a ‘mmm’ sound reverberated into the kiss.
When you pulled away, Nero was practically panting. His body squirmed under you, but you were certain it wasn’t because he wanted to escape your cruel intentions.
“There. That’s what you asked for.”
“W-wait!” Afraid that you were going to leave him like that, he found his voice again, “I want… Uhm- If you could, ah…”
“All you have to do is ask for it.”
He closed his eyes tight, as if saying these next words took all of his strength, “Do whatever you want with me.”
Your eyes widened. Oh, wow. He was actually a freak. Always the shy ones… You huffed a laugh, brushing the tip of your nose across his cheek to prompt him to open his eyes.
“Whatever, huh. Let’s be sensible. Just in case, let’s agree on a safe word,” you looked at him with genuine consideration.
He nodded, growing increasingly nervous at the thought of what you were about to do to him.
“How about… ‘Protocore’?”
“O-okay,” he knew this wasn’t a silly matter, so he was trying his best to be verbal about it.
“Alright, test it out. When should you say it?”
“Um… When I, if I feel uncomfortable… I should say p-protocore.”
“Good boy.”
Those two words made bumps appear all over his arms. You smiled with amusement.
That matter settled, your eyes made a very deliberate path to his lips. Since you were holding his wrists, your finger rested right over the pulse point there, showing you just how fast his heart had started beating at your gaze.
He tilted his head up to get himself the smallest bit closer to you, practically begging for a kiss. An actual proper kiss.
Your lips pressed against his, finally. You noticed they were slightly chapped, the texture rough in contrast to your softness, but that only made you want to run your tongue over them. So you did.
He instantly opened his mouth in response. You plunged your tongue into his mouth, which earned you a muffled whimper. He swiped his tongue against yours with caution, growing more comfortable as you kept going. It became messy very fast due to his inexperience, the deeper you kissed him, the more he started drooling.
Despite that, he was a very desperate kisser. Like he didn’t believe this was happening, nor it would ever happen again in the future, so he might as well go all out in the present.
You pulled back and licked your lips, looking down at his state. His glasses, apart from foggy, were now crooked, and a line of drool ran down his chin. You licked it up.
“I’m curious,” you announced with an air of mystery.
He tilted his head, silently asking ‘about?’. Not answering, you moved to sit next to him, setting his arms free. He mentally debated if he should touch your naked body with his newfound freedom, but he didn’t have time to reach a conclusion as your hand slid to his pants - still part of the costume - and pulled them off, along with his underwear.
He froze in flustered silence, completely exposed to you. Part of him wanted to cover himself up, it was too embarrassing to let you see his fully erect leaking dick, he felt too self-conscious about it, but the other part of him was curious to know your opinion. Maybe if you insulted him now, it would be easier for him to accept that he had fumbled you once he got back home.
But, you didn’t say anything.
No, as you stared at the 8-inch cock in front of you, you really didn’t have anything to say. Always the shy ones indeed.
With almost wonder in your eyes, you wrapped a hand around it. Nero twitched.
“W-wait, mh-”
He pushed himself up on his elbows, reaching to grab your wrist with half-lidded eyes. You didn’t move your hand, but returned your gaze to his expression.
“Wait? For what?”
“I just, well, you were kissing me and- I’m not saying I didn’t like it, t-the opposite, but well I’m nervous now, so… Uh, not yet because, because I-”
Cutting him off, you started pumping up and down, precum helping you slide along his length. He bit down hard on his lip to prevent a moan.
“W-wait! I! Ah-”
He let go of your hand in order to keep himself lifted on his elbows.
“Stop, s-stop, I’m too sensitive-”
You didn’t let up. If anything, you sped up, brushing your thumb across the tip.
“I don’t see how that’s a problem,” you said with a smirk.
“B-because, mh, fffh…” His words became higher pitched and whiney, “I don’t-”
His worst nightmare was realized right then. Having any sort of sexual interaction with a beautiful girl and cumming in less than thirty seconds. How pathetic of him, he thought.
The cum spilled over your hand and shot all across his T-shirt, his abdomen and legs shaking. His elbows gave out and he fell on his back.
“I’m s-orry- I’m sorry, I’m so- sorry-” Was the only thing he said through the orgasm, covering his eyes.
You stood up and left to go to the bathroom, and it solidified the fact for him: You thought he was disgusting and wanted to get away from him as soon as possible.
Nothing further from the truth, as you returned with a damp towel after cleaning your hand to help him clean up. You moved his hands away from his face and repositioned his glasses.
“I’m sorry,” he repeated.
“What for?” You asked now that he had calmed down somewhat, handing him the towel.
“Mm… I, I came too fast…”
“But I wanted you to cum.”
“W-well, yeah, but, you know, that’s uhh…”
He didn’t look you in the eye as he cleaned himself and took his stained shirt off.
“It’s what?”
“Kinda… Pathetic…?”
He stood up and realized you were both completely bare in front of the other, and he still hadn’t touched you. The passing contact of his palm on your breast burned his skin.
“Maybe, but I found it hot.”
The blush returned to his face. He looked down and started fidgeting with his hands. You remembered he was about to shower before all of this happened, so you slid your hand in his and led him to the bathroom.
“Um, what are you-”
“I’ve been wanting to try the jacuzzi.”
“Oh.”
Water started filling the tub. In the meantime, you turned to Nero and stepped closer. He wanted to put his hands on you so badly, but he was too embarrassed to try. 
Honestly, you just wanted to eat him up.
“Relax. We’re just going to take a bath, and then we’ll have dinner.”
“Yeah… Okay.”
You reached up and gently took off his glasses. Before setting them aside, you tried them on, curious, only to find he had a very high prescription. Even though you were blurry, the way you widened your eyes wasn’t missed and it made him giggle. As you looked at him, he coughed to cover up his laugh and looked away.
“I’d give you um, a compliment, about how they look on you but, you know uh… I can’t really see. Although I k-know for a fact that you look good in them because, because you… You look g-good in anything…”
You took them off and put them near the sink, then kissed his cheek.
“Thank you.”
Your bodies brushed when you got closer, and he instinctively lifted his hands with fear as if to say ‘I didn’t touch you on purpose! I’m not a pervert!’.
You shook your head and facepalmed. He panicked again at your gesture.
“Nero, I just gave you a handjob,” you sighed, “You know what? It’s okay. Forget that happened, maybe I went too fast. Let’s start from the beginning.”
You turned off the faucet, water having reached an acceptable level, and gestured for him to get in first. Like a small animal in distress, he followed your command and sank into the water, cowering because you seemed angry - you weren’t.
Before he could protest, you entered and sat on his lap, facing him, straddling his thighs. His hands gripped the edges of the tub.
“You said-!”
“And I meant it! Calm down, I just want you to get more comfortable with me. My body. Not every skin to skin contact has to be about sex.”
He relaxed the tiniest bit.
“Now, put your hands on my waist. And you have to understand, I want you to touch me. I’m not going to judge you for doing that. I was the one who put your hand on my chest!”
He nodded along with your explanation, sliding his hands down the white marble and bringing them to your sides. It still felt forced.
“Tell me something. Do you want to touch me?”
“Yes! Y-yes…” He sank his mouth underwater, blowing a few bubbles.
“Then do it. I give you full permission to move your hands wherever you want. Would you rather I… Don’t look?” You tilted your head. “Is that it? You feel judged if I’m looking at you?”
“A bit…”
“Okay.”
You wrapped your arms around his neck and leaned forward, resting your head against your bicep. Your chest pressed against his. He got hard again.
A few moments passed, but seeing you weren’t moving nor saying anything, he began to slide his hands up. You could feel his warm face pressed to your cheek.
He stopped right when he felt your breasts, gathering the courage to continue. As gently as he could, he cupped each breast in his hands until his palms were flush with your skin.
“C-can I… squeeze or will that hurt you?”
“As long as you don’t do it very hard, it’s fine.”
Worried about how hard was ‘very hard’, he squeezed with barely any force, then ran his thumbs across your nipples. That made you exhale.
He froze.
“That feels good,” you reassured him.
“Oh, okay,” he was taking mental notes of every piece of information.
He continued his exploration, moving his hands down this time, to your thighs. The sound of water and his echoey breathing were the only noise in the bathroom, since you hadn’t turned on the jacuzzi function yet.
He squeezed them, too, sliding his way up, but staying on the outer part.
“You’re- Very um, soft.”
“I think it’s the lotion I just used, but thanks,” you kissed his cheek, “your hands feel nice.”
“A-are you going to, uh, kiss me every time I compliment you?”
“Yeah, why not.”
“Well, I think you’re very pretty, b-but! Obviously that’s not the only thing about you, I mean, you’re a great Hunter and you’re very intelligent, every time you come back from a mission and I read your reports it’s always amazing to see how efficient you are, and you’re so much fun to spend time with, I-I’m very happy you came with me- Ah! I didn’t tell you before but you wear the costume so well, and you’re so talented-”
You cut him off with a kiss, which he instantly melted into. His arms wrapped around your waist to keep you close. This time he was a bit more sure of what he was doing, tilting his head and returning the motions of your lips. You pulled back but he furrowed his brow with a whine and dipped his head to kiss you again, one of his hands moving to cup your cheek.
Far from complaining, you kissed him back. The hand still on your back slid down to your rear. He broke the kiss with urgency.
“Y-you… made me feel good so I want to m-make you feel good too… Um… Show me how…?”
“Yeah, of course,” you smiled, glad that he was warming up to intimacy.
He took his hand off your cheek and presented it to you. Grabbing his wrist, you plunged it into the water and brought it between your legs.
“Feel around first, don’t be shy.”
The pads of his fingers traced down your pubes, over your clit and into your folds, finding your entrance.
“Do I just…”
“Hold on, you overlooked something.”
“I- I did?”
You moved his hand back slightly.
“That’s my clitoris. I thought you’d like to know.”
He blushed furiously, “O-oh. Yeah, mhm…”
His finger circled it a couple of times, getting used to its feel. Your breath hitched. Encouraged, he kept rubbing it.
“So is it better to do this… Rather than, you know, f-fingering you…?”
“Both are different, but I’m going to show you the best way. Put your ring and middle fingers together and put them in.”
“A-at the same time?”
“Yeah, slowly.”
He followed your instructions, ever careful. Once they were fully in, you spoke up.
“Okay… Now curl-”
The action was immediate, a gasp falling from your lips as you gripped his shoulders.
“Did I hurt you!?” He was about to pull his hand back but you kept it in place, shaking your head.
“Quite the opposite. You’re doing great. Now, press your palm up…”
Your hips bucked into his touch as he did.
“Y-yeah, like that, now you just move your fingers and rub with your palm.”
He started slow, pumping his fingers in and out while curled, making sure to keep the friction against your clit. You suspected he had skilled hands ever since you had seen him typing away on his computer, but his coordination was surpassing your expectations.
You grew breathless, your hips rocking in tandem with his touch. The water sloshed around you.
“And… You can…” You grabbed his free hand and placed it on your breast with a squeeze. “Mmm, like that…”
He was just as worked up as you, if not more. Unprompted - to your delight, he dipped his head and started kissing your neck. Very sweet and innocent kisses compared to what his hands were doing.
“C-can I, hm, b-bite you?”
“Yes,” you breathed, the pronunciation of the word more lewd than you intended.
You felt his dick twitch on your thigh. His teeth clamped down on your neck, tongue licking the skin with intent. You moved your hand down to jerk him off again, but he stopped you, a frustrating loss on your chest.
“No. T-this is for you… Just concentrate on feeling good, okay?”
“Okay,” you dug your fingers into his hair instead.
“Am I doing well?” His hand returned to fondling your breast.
“You’re doing great… Mh- Maybe you can go faster now.”
No more words were needed. He picked up the pace, hitting your g-spot just right each time, grinding his palm against your clit with more determination.
The moans couldn’t be held back anymore. He planted open-mouthed kisses to the spot where he had bitten, noting how you clenched around his fingers. How would that feel on his dick?
Pleasure started pooling, your movements becoming more erratic, reaching for that high. He noticed and pushed his fingers harder against your spongy walls.
“Nero- Mh… Keep going like that, yes, just like that- I’m gonna cum- Fuck, don’t stop-”
Your hands clutched his hair, head falling back, and-
With a gasp, followed by a moan, the orgasm wrecked through you. He kept moving his hand until your head fell on his chest, just to make sure you had fully finished. 
He pulled his fingers out and hugged you in silence as your breathing returned to normal.
Once your senses came back, you lifted your head to give him a sweet kiss. He smiled, shy.
“You… Liked it?”
“Yes. I didn’t expect you to be so good at it,” you chuckled.
Pride overtook his expression.
“You sure you don’t want me to…” You looked down at his erection.
He shook his head, “A-after dinner… If you want, I- We-”
You laughed again, “After dinner, absolutely. Let me help you wash your hair, at least. It’s all tousled now…”
Since you had already taken a shower earlier, you focused on helping him, which he really appreciated. All the contact and intimacy that he had never had made this day easily one of the best of his life.
You washed his hair and massaged his scalp, sneaking a few kisses when he closed his eyes. He washed the rest of his body himself, blushing as you absentmindedly traced your fingers across his skin while you waited.
Before leaving the bath, you remembered the reason why you wanted to use it in the first place: The jacuzzi function. You pressed the button and relaxed for a few minutes under the bubbling water.
It wasn’t healthy to stay too long, though, so you said goodbye to the jacuzzi with a mock salute. 
Nero passed you a towel and wrapped one around himself. Luckily relaxing in the water had made him go soft again, relieved that he didn’t have to feel embarrassed about having a tent.
You dried off then put on the pajamas and underwear, all very comfy and soft, and he put his glasses back on.
“I’ll call them to bring our dinner while you dry your hair,” he offered.
“Okay!”
The hair dryer was also really good quality. You were definitely going to participate in more contests in the future, regardless of whether a hotel stay was in the prizes or not.
You brushed your dry hair and walked out of the bathroom. Just then, a knock at the door.
Nero opened it and a staff member entered, pushing a serving cart filled with covered plates. They left it next to the coffee table.
“We have organized it so the entrées are on the upper tray, and dessert is on the bottom tray. The idea is that you go down each tray of food. There’s also a triptych on the top describing each meal. Do you have any questions?”
“Nope.” You looked at Nero. He shook his head.
“Then I’ll get going. Enjoy your food!” They smiled.
“Thank you!” You both said in unison.
The door closed. You took the first tray and put it on the table, then sat on the sofa.
“Want to do the honors?” You said to him.
“Yeah. We can do one each,” he sat next to you and lifted the silver cover.
The food was amazing. Both in presentation - they nailed the ‘Wanderers’ theme - and in taste. As you ate the meals, however, you noticed that Nero had grown weirdly quiet, and not in the usual shy way.
“Is everything alright?” You put your fork down.
“Hm? Why?”
“I don’t know, you seem upset or like, lost in thought.”
He put his fork down too.
“D-do you like me?”
“...What? What do you mean?”
“I mean… A-are you interested in me or… D-do you just want, uhm, a one night stand…?”
“Oh! No, no, I’m interested in you, Nero. I like you. You’re so cute and sweet. I would… It would be nice if we started dating.”
“Wait- Really?” He looked up at you with bright eyes, pushing up his glasses in a nervous gesture.
“If you also want to, yes.”
“Yes! Yes, I want to. I want you to be my g-girlfriend.”
You hugged him, covering his face in little kisses that knocked his glasses off. He laughed nervously, wrapping his arms around your waist and burying his face in your hair.
“S-stop, that’s too much…” He complained, but you knew he wasn’t actually annoyed.
“I can’t help it, you’re sitting here looking so kissable… Hehehe.”
You grabbed his glasses and put them back on his face.
“The food will get cold. You can continue your attacks after we eat,” he said, letting go of you.
“Oh, I intend to.”
That sent a shiver up his spine, but he refrained from saying anything in case you would change your mind and forget about the food entirely. After all, he wanted to enjoy this cute moment of eating dinner with his girlfriend.
Meals finished, cart taken away, you stood up with your arms crossed.
“Well?”
“...well what?” He looked around nervously.
“Are you going to stand up and join me in the bed or are you going to keep editing those pictures you took of the food?”
“A-ah…” He dropped his phone for the second time today.
You picked up the phone and left it on the table, away from him, to then pull him up by his arms.
“That wasn’t a response.”
“I’ll join you,” he muttered, avoiding eye contact.
You walked to the bedroom, hand in hand, but you stopped in front of the closet as you remembered the basket.
This time Nero got a good look at it.
“We-! We’re not gonna-! We-! Use all of that!?” He pointed at all of the items with a bewildered look.
“Calm down, we’re not. Geez, how freaky does the hotel management think we are?” You said with sarcasm, knowing exactly how much of a freak you were.
Nero seemed in particular distress about the strap on, which you lifted with curiosity but promptly put down. No, you were just looking for the condoms. For now.
“I feel like you should know, well I, I’m not exactly, um, what I mean is, I’m… A virgin.”
How sweet of him to mention it, as if it wasn’t obvious. You held back your snarky comeback, since this was serious for him and you weren’t that evil.
“Right. That’s okay. You remember the safe word?”
“Yes.”
“Then we’re good!”
You took one of the condoms and guided him to the bed, sitting down.
“I also don’t… I have no idea how to… Put one of those on.”
“I’ll help you, don’t worry,” you were concerned about the lack of sexual education he had received, but that was a different matter entirely.
He looked unsure of what to do next. Kiss you? Start undressing? Jump out of the window from embarrassment?
Those doubts dissipated as you started kissing his neck, his eyes closing in bliss.
“You left a mark on my neck,” you whispered between kisses, “it’s only fair I return the favor.”
He tilted his head up, grabbing a fistful of your hair, realizing he might be hurting you and letting go, ultimately grabbing again once you bit down. The noise he let out was borderline pornographic.
You sucked and licked the skin, only stopping to admire how it looked before moving on to a different spot and repeating the process. 
By the time you were done, his neck was covered in hickeys, he was panting, and he was visibly hard. Your hands had stayed on his shoulders the entire time on purpose, but now, as you looked at him look at you, they wandered down to unbutton his shirt.
He tried to avoid your gaze by looking at them, but you were quick to tilt his chin back up.
“Unbutton mine.”
He complied, fumbling with the buttons and taking twice the time you did out of pure nervousness. He was about to lose his virginity with you of all people. Fuck, he was about to lose his virginity period.
You took off the pajamas and discarded them on the floor. Despite having seen you naked not that long ago, it took him a moment to calm down again.
Gently pushing him back, you took off his pants and knelt between his legs.
“I’m gonna show you how to put on a condom but first I wanna do something…”
“Hm?”
You lowered your head towards his erection and he immediately palmed your forehead to stop you.
“W-wait!”
He retracted his hand, but kept it between you and his dick.
“What?” You raised an eyebrow.
“If- If you do that, I am certain, I am… I will c-cum right away…”
“I still don’t see the issue.”
“But- You- I- Well- We-” He started gesticulating incoherently.
You took the opportunity of his hands being busy to lower your head the rest of the way and lick up his shaft.
“Ah!” He threw his head back, then shot you a glare.
The eye contact in that moment was when you decided to put your whole mouth around it, sucking it completely. It was the right choice, as you got a perfect view of his flustered expression.
His hands gripped the sheets, unintelligible sounds falling from his lips.
“Mh! Nghh…”
You sucked from bottom to tip, dragging your tongue along the veins, making sure to cover all of it with your saliva. Your dominant hand followed just after your lips, while the other fondled his balls. 
“You have such a pretty dick, you know,” you kissed the frenulum.
It twitched in your hand, precum already dripping, and Nero grabbed a pillow to cover his face and muffle his moans.
“No, no, no, c’mon,” you pulled it away, “don’t you wanna see the cum all over my face when you finish?”
“Why do you-, why are you-, I’m just, I feel like-”
You sucked it fully again, swirling your tongue around it. His stomach trembled in tandem with his heaving breaths.
“Ahgh! Mmmff… P-please- Ahh…”
He was holding back. He was trying so hard not to cum, to impress you, to prove to himself that he could last, that he wouldn’t be a mess when he was finally inside you, but sucking up the length while rolling your eyes back and humming was all it took.
Thick ropes of white painted the inside of your mouth, his hips stuttering. Another apologetic string of sentences rang out of him, only a lot more garbled, his head on the mattress and his back arched towards you.
You licked and swallowed all the cum. When you finally pulled back and looked at his state, he refused to make eye contact, but his eyes were fixed on the top of the canopy with suspicious concentration.
You looked up and, ah, of course, a mirror. Your eyes met his and he instantly looked away, moving to lie on his side and bury his face against the mattress.
“Nero, are you embarrassed or are you upset? I can’t tell.”
“Mm mmm,” he answered, words muffled.
You lied down next to him and caressed his cheek. He slowly came out of hiding.
“I didn’t understand that. Can you repeat it?”
“The first,” he repeated with a huff.
“So, embarrassed. But, did you like it?”
“Are you joking!?” He exclaimed, “I- I mean… Yes…”
“Great, because I’m far from done with you,” you lifted the condom to his flushed face, “wanna be on top?”
He shook his head so hard that his glasses almost fell off.
“Listen,” he tried to explain as you got on top of him once more, “I’m still sensitive, a-and I might cum just as fast anyways, so I’m really sorry in advance for how much of a mess I’m going to be, I promise I’m doing my best, if you don’t want to do this anymore that’s fine by me, we can do whatever you want- Aah-,” he shuddered as you slipped the condom on his still hard dick, “...that was easier than I expected- A-as I was saying! If you don’t like this, I could e-eat you out instead- MMMGH!”
You sank onto him in a swift move, the full length now buried to the hilt inside your warm cunt. It made you gasp, too. It felt better than any sex toys or past flings you had had.
“With how fast you talk, I don’t doubt that it would be nice, but you made me so wet with all your moaning that I couldn’t wait to fuck you properly.”
He mumbled a response, hands grabbing your thighs to keep you still for a moment; it was too much for him to process, and he knew that if you started moving he would-
You rocked your hips, propping yourself with your hands on his chest, and his nails dug into your skin with a broken whimper.
“Wait!”
Ignoring him, you did it again. God, he felt good.
“Agh-!” He arched his body, scratching your thighs, which he looked really apologetic about but he couldn’t help himself.
“How mean, you have all this and you want to keep it all to yourself…” You teased.
“N-no, it’s not that, I swear, u-use me, I-”
At those words, you raised your hips and dropped them sharply, the tip of his dick kissing your cervix. His eyes rolled back, words dying in his throat.
“You didn’t let me, let me f-finish s-speaking…!” He protested.
“Since you wanna talk so much, how about I give you something to do with your mouth?”
You reached up and pushed your fingers inside his mouth, delivering another pointed rock of your hips. Helpless, he began sucking on them. 
Matter settled, you started to actually move on top of him at a constant rhythm, new red lines appearing on your thighs with each movement. He was so overstimulated that tears started to pool and fall down his cheeks.
The best thing about riding him was that you could deliver a perfect hit to your g-spot every time, although with how thick he was, he might’ve done that anyways if he was on top. 
You clenched around him and he saw stars, whimpering and moaning between your fingers. Hit after hit, warmth started to spread across your body, growing more and more breathless as the pleasure built, never enough - you needed to step it up.
So you took your hand out of his mouth to keep balance as you fucked yourself on his dick, faster and harder, his pussy-drunk expression only serving to drag you further, moans now spilling from your lips as well.
Nero slowly but surely recovered from the overstimulation, the mattress below him wet with tears. He chased his own pleasure now too, hips jerking up to meet you.
“I’m gonna cum,” you said, having trouble holding yourself up.
“Don’t st-oh-op, p-please, p-please, mmh…”
“I- I can’t keep, fuck, ah-”
The rope stretched tighter and tighter until it snapped, electricity jolting up your spine. Your body shook and fell on top of Nero’s, spasming with the aftershocks of the orgasm.
“No! Mh! P-please!” He cried, feeling so close himself but edged since you had stopped, “I need- you- I need to-”
He turned, both of you lying on your sides, his hands keeping your thighs around his waist, and-
With desperate thrusts, he tried to reach the climax he hadn’t. He buried his face in your chest, glasses pressing against your skin as he kissed and sucked anywhere his mouth could reach. 
You grabbed his hair, shaky gasps each time his tongue teased your nipples or his cock reached deep. It was a lot, his pace relentless, but you wanted him to finish, so you let him continue.
“S-sorry, I need to- I want to cum so bad- P-please, I’m almost there- Nghh-!”
The sweet torture didn’t last long - not that you expected it to in the first place, his hips stuttering as he delivered a couple more deep hits. You looked down to see his face as he came. He went cross-eyed. Wow, you wished you had taken a picture.
He stayed with his arms around you for a bit, breathing heavily. You caressed the top of his head.
“Come up, give me a kiss,” you said softly.
He complied, moving his posture to face you. A gentle kiss, just lips, after which you both smiled.
“I really liked that,” you reassured him before he could apologize for anything.
“Me t-too. But…”
You covered his mouth with your hand.
“Are you about to put yourself down in any way?”
He raised his eyebrows, then shook his head. You moved your hand away.
“I just wanted to say… Well, I think it’s a bit unfair that I, uh, I came one more time than you did, so…”
“The score doesn’t always have to be ‘settled’,” you chuckled.
“I! I know that! But still, I want to… Y-you said yourself that… About me t-talking a lot…”
“You wanna eat me out that badly, huh.”
He flushed. Somehow he remained easily embarrassed.
“I’m curious to know how you taste.”
Maybe not that embarrassed.
“Open your mouth and stick out your tongue,” you nodded at him.
Confused, he followed your command. You spit. He closed his mouth, shocked. He acted offended, but you saw his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed it.
“That’s how I taste,” you laughed.
“Not- That’s not-! You know what I meant!” He huffed, the grip around you getting a little tighter.
“Hahaha, okay, okay, just teasing you. By all means, go right ahead. I would never say no to being eaten out.”
With your permission, he released you and pulled out, his dick now soft. He got up to throw away the condom while you positioned yourself on the bed, legs spread for him, pillows stacked under your upper back and head.
He crawled back on the bed and lied down on his stomach, face between your thighs, eyes darting wildly at the display before him. Seeing it was different from feeling it.
“Will you guide me like you did before?”
“Yeah, of course. Get a feel for it first, though.”
He nodded and swallowed.
“I didn’t expect you… To be… So wet…” His fingers traced your inner lips.
“I told you before.”
“Sure, but- I thought it was an exaggeration…” He licked his finger. No discernible reaction, until he realized you had watched him do that, then he turned redder.
“What’s the verdict? Do I taste good?” You smirked.
“A-ah, well- I didn’t really- I have to try more.”
“Smooth.”
This time he stuck out his tongue, flat, and licked up from your entrance to your clit. You trembled involuntarily.
“Like that?” He repeated the action.
“Y-yes, but, it’s not just that, you aren’t a dog-,” you gave him a look, but discarded the thought. Pet play might be too advanced for his first day. “You have suck, too. You can kiss if you want. Don’t bite, unless it’s on the thighs. And don’t focus on one specific spot, but every now and then you should definitely hone in on the clitoris,” you paused, “Is that confusing? Did I explain it more or less okay?”
“I’ll try to follow what you just said, but correct me if I do anything wrong.”
His arms wrapped around each of your thighs.
“Oh, and,” he kissed your clit, “that’s the clitoris, right?”
“Yes,” you smiled proudly at how far he’d come.
That smile faded fast as he dove right in and started sucking and licking like a starved man, running his tongue up and down, your expression morphing as your brow furrowed in pleasure.
His head moved up and down, lips pressing against every part of your cunt, tongue parting your folds. Just like you had told him, he made sure to stop at your clit, suck it and swirl his tongue around it before dragging it away and poking at your entrance, drinking all he could taste.
You bucked your hips towards him, gripping his hair with one hand and the sheets with the other. Your thighs pressed against his cheeks.
“Y-you can… Hahh… If you- Your nose-”
He understood what you meant, rubbing his nose to your clit as he sucked lower. His glasses fogged up at the heat. He took them off and threw them away to get a better angle.
They landed on the carpet, undamaged, but neither of you really cared.
His eyes moved up to you every now and then, though blurry, he tried his best to gauge your reaction, along with the little trembles of your legs. It was getting easier to understand what he had to do.
Still, he had some improvements to do. He pulled away for a moment to catch his breath, lips red and moist, a web of saliva connecting his mouth to your cunt. He licked his lips.
“Don’t stop,” you breathed.
“Sorry, sorry,” he quickly muttered before diving back in.
This time his movements were faster, his tongue flicking in all the right spots. One of his hands moved up to squeeze your breast, fondling it, small sounds of pleasure vibrating from his mouth to your core.
You grinded your hips back and forth, hissing. Nero was doing something similar against the mattress, his dick probably hard again. 
He sucked your clit sharply, and you threw your head back with a moan. 
“Fuck… Yes…”
He did it again.
“Mmnn! Nero, I’m so fucking close- Don’t slow down- ah!”
Far from it, he kept up the pace with heavy breaths, the hot air hitting your skin. Your fingers tightened their grip on both his hair and the sheets. Which, if it weren’t for the fact that he was neatly licking everything up, would have been stained with your wetness long ago.
“Yeah yeah yeah-” Your vision began to cloud as that familiar numbing sensation spread, almost, almost, right there.
Uncontrollable shivers ran along your body, your expression locked in a continuous gasp as you looked up, at the mirror, seeing - more than feeling - Nero kissing your inner thighs and up your stomach.
You slowly came down from the high. By the time he buried his face in your neck, you had regained control of your body and could wrap your arms around him.
“I have my verdict now,” he said with a cocky edge, “you taste good.”
You chuckled and patted his hair, ruffled from your grabbing and pulling.
“That means you’ll eat me often, then?”
He lost his cockiness, “I-If you want me to.”
You held him for a bit while an idea cooked in your mind. Would he be opposed? He didn’t seem very thrilled when he saw the strap on…
“Hey, are you up for one more thing? I know you were all about ‘settling the score’ or whatever, but I want to do something… It’ll be the last, I promise. We can go to bed after.”
“Uhm… Anything and everything you want to do is fine by me…”
“Riiight…” You gently pulled away from his embrace and got up.
As he saw you walk towards the basket, he felt a slight nervousness well up, but he calmed himself by believing you were just going to grab another condom. On the way there, you tossed him his glasses.
His vision now clear, he saw how wrong he was.
You lifted the strap and his face went white.
“You can’t be serious…”
“I am. You see, you were such a good boy eating me out and you did so well, that I think you deserve a prostate orgasm,” you said with a smile.
“I don’t- I don’t think I can, I’m able to… I…”
“If you don’t want to, that’s fine. We won’t! But if you’re just saying ‘no’ because it’s a new, weird experience, I’m asking you to be open minded.”
“Have... Have you done this before…?”
“What, peg a guy? Yes,” you shrugged.
He shook off the feelings of jealousy to instead focus on the fact that you knew what you were doing.
You picked up the lube - also in the basket - and walked up to the bed to sit next to him.
“Look at it. Your dick is a lot bigger and I can take it no problem.”
He turned red, “Well! That’s! I mean!”
To be fair, there were actually more sizes available, this one being the smallest, but you had buried them under the condoms and lube bottles so he wouldn’t see. A small mercy from you.
“Are you up for it or not?”
“Uhhh… Maybe I can, just like, try it for a second,” he avoids your gaze, fidgeting with his hands.
“Sure! Of course. If it’s uncomfortable, we stop.”
You pat the bed, “Get on all fours.”
“What!? Right away!?” He lowered his head.
“...I mean, what did you expect to happen first?”
“I don’t know! Can I get a kiss first.”
You giggled and leaned to kiss him. His hands cupped your face, and you felt him smile into the kiss.
“Better?”
“I guess.”
“Alright, I’m going to lube you up. I’ll use my fingers, so don’t get scared.”
“You’re gonna… Ah… Mhm…”
He positioned himself on all fours as you indicated, slightly relieved that at least he didn’t have to face you.
You squeezed some lube out on your fingers and took a gander at what you were working with. Okay, he was definitely tense.
“Breathe, Nero. My gosh.”
“Right, right, mhm.”
He wasn’t going to calm down much more, it was obvious, so instead of dragging it out, you simply decided to circle your finger around his hole and slowly push it in. No more than an inch deep.
The foreign sensation made his breath hitch.
“Am I hurting you?”
“N-no.”
“Do you want me to stop?”
“No…”
You pushed your index a bit further, coating his inner walls with the lube. You stopped once you figured you were deep enough.
“This is what I was talking about,” you warned him, before pressing down right on his prostate.
You saw his hands clutching the sheets as he gasped, then looked back over his shoulder.
“That’s…”
“Feels good, right?”
“Yeah…”
You retracted your finger and picked up the strap on to lube it up as well, coating its black silicone with your hands. Nero watched the whole process with his mouth dry.
“It’s about to feel a lot better than ‘good’, trust me.”
He nodded noncommittally, but deep down he was very curious after having felt just your finger.
You fastened the strap to your waist and thighs, making sure everything was properly tightened, and turned your attention back to him.
“You can still say no.”
“No, I, I’m okay.”
“Alright.”
You aligned the tip of the dildo with his hole, kneeling behind him. He looked away, heavily in disbelief that somehow this was happening - and worst of all - he was eager for it to happen.
The tip slid in easily thanks to the lube, a soft muffled sound coming from Nero, who now had one of his hands covering his mouth. You pushed a bit deeper, tentatively. Your hands found perch on each side of his waist, the touch causing goosebumps along his skin.
“You’re doing so well,” you praised.
Another inch. It was almost fully in. His posture was so rigid that he might as well have been a statue.
The final bit disappeared inside him, and you took a moment to let him adjust.
“How is it? How are you?”
He moved his hand away from his mouth, propping it against the mattress again.
“It’s a lot… But… It doesn’t feel bad, just weird.”
“That’s good. Can I move?”
“Yeah…”
With his permission, you slid it halfway out, and back in. Slowly.
“H-ah-”
One more time.
“Mmg-”
Faster.
“Oh-”
From tip to base.
“Ah!”
Seeing he could take it, you set the pace. In and out, every single hit dragging a new noise out of him.
Your hands on his waist, you began pulling him against you at the same time, lewd noises each time your hips met his ass. His knuckles turned white.
“Look at you, being so good,” you said in a singsongy voice, “arch that back for me.”
He did, whimpering at the way the strap felt in that posture.
“Good boy. Are you enjoying being fucked like this, Nero?”
“Y-ye-sssssgh…”
He was so far gone, and having done so little, too. It was going to be a delight when you used a bigger strap in the future.
Your thrusts turned harder, opting for impact instead of speed. Broken moans and whimpers fell from his lips. His arms trembled.
“You look so cute like this,” you leaned forward, wrapping a hand around his neck to make him face you.
He turned to you with half-lidded eyes and a permanent flush. You could practically see the heart-shaped pupils in his eyes, dazed and drunk. He felt like he was about to die from pleasure.
You felt him back up on you since you had stopped moving. You raised an eyebrow.
“What’s this, getting greedy?” You smirked.
“Pleaseee…” He whined, voice cracking.
“That good, huh,” you let go of his neck, “and you were so reluctant before.”
Both hands back on his waist, you rammed yourself inside him. He moaned loudly, but the sound got cut by yet another thrust, his voice carrying on and getting cut off repeatedly as you picked up the pace. 
Precum dripped on the mattress. You intended to jerk him off at the same time, although it didn’t seem necessary, so you focused on hitting his prostate at the right angle.
His arms gave out under him, barely holding himself together as he now lay face down and ass up - drooling.
“Hey,” you called out, “look- at- your- self-” you pointed up with your chin.
His eyes wandered up to the mirror, where he saw the utter mess he was, and how the strap slid in and out of him. The sight made his body tremble. You looked so hot.
“I’m gunn- gonna- aah… mmmh… going to- nngh! C-cum…”
“Yeah? Show- me. Cum- for- me,” you punctuated your words with thrusts.
He babbled incoherently, his legs shaking. His sounds got louder and louder, until he started pleading in broken syllables, and then- release.
Spurts of cum shot on the bed, his face buried against the mattress as he bit the sheets.
You moved for a bit longer to let him ride it out. When the whimpering turned into heaving gasps, you stopped. Gently, you pulled the strap out.
He collapsed on his side, fully spent.
“Very good. You did such a good job,” you leaned over and kissed his cheek.
He mumbled a reply.
You took off the strap and attempted to clean as much of the mess as you could. At that point it was better to change the sheets entirely, you realized.
Well, you weren’t a Hunter for nothing. You scooped Nero up bridal style and let him down gently on a chair while you changed the bed. He was flustered by the action, but not in the right state to complain.
After changing the sheets - there was a spare set in the closet - you went to the bathroom to grab a damp towel. You cleaned yourself first, then sat down next to Nero and helped him.
“Thanks…” Was all he could say.
You scooped him back up and laid him down on the bed before climbing in yourself.
“Want some water? Or anything?”
“No… I want… Sleep and cuddles…”
You chuckled, “we can absolutely do that.”
You turned off the lights and cozied up to him, gently taking his glasses and putting them on the nightstand. His arms wrapped around your waist, face buried in the crook of your neck.
The skin-to-skin contact, once arousing, now soothing, helped him drift off quite fast. You didn’t take much longer, sleep taking you in minutes.
An alarm woke you up the next morning. A song from the Super Hunters show. Nero’s alarm.
“Mmmh… Oh, no…” He got up, untangling himself from your warm embrace and running to turn it off.
You stirred, rubbing your eyes. Opening them, you saw him standing next to the bed, looking down at you.
“Hm? What…?” You said in a sleepy voice.
He chuckled and climbed back in, hugging you.
“Nothing. I just think my girlfriend looks very cute when she’s sleepy,” his voice was a little deeper in the morning.
You could already tell he was going to be the type of guy that showed off his girlfriend a lot. It made you smile, really.
“I think my boyfriend should have turned off his alarms,” you countered, poking his cheek.
“I’m so sorry,” he kissed right below your ear, “I forgot we were sleeping here together instead of being alone back home, and it slipped my mind.”
“Oooh, right, because we would have to drive all the way back from Linkon to WandererCon…”
“Yeah…”
“Do you have a lot planned for today?” You caressed his cheek, which he leaned into.
“I… I had plans… But… Uh…” His usual blush tinted his face.
“But?”
“We… The documents said we… Uhm, so, the room… Is booked until 5PM today… And I don’t feel like going to the convention today…”
Unbelievable. He wanted to spend the day here with you rather than gushing about Wanderers? Was he sick?
You blinked at him. He was a bit confused about your shocked reaction.
“Or, do you want to go?”
“No. No. I want to stay, I’m just surprised you want to stay. Are you sure? It only happens once a year, and I’m still going to be your girlfriend tomorrow.”
You knew this was important for him, so you wanted to make sure he knew what he was doing.
“Yes, I’m sure. Wanderers are still going to exist tomorrow, and I have you here now. It would be a waste not to enjoy your company.”
He kissed you, and kissed you, deep and loving, over and over.
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“How was the weekend?” Asked Tara when you arrived at work.
“Oh shit, I forgot to buy you something,” you palmed your forehead, “I’ll treat you to dessert for the rest of the week,” you sat on your office chair.
“Hahaha, it’s okay, but I’ll take you up on that offer,” she clapped giddily.
She rolled her chair closer.
“It must have been really interesting to attend, if you forgot about it. Was it cool?”
Just then, Nero arrived at the office. He walked up to your desk and placed a cup of coffee with a shy smile.
“Good morning, Tara!” He greeted, walking to his desk.
Tara scrunched up her brows in shock and leaned to whisper to you.
“Tell me what’s going on. Has reality been altered? I didn’t see this in my cards…”
“Uhm… Let’s just say… It was a busy weekend.”
Thank you for reading! Here's a little meme:
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felassan · 1 day ago
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Some snippets from DA dev Luke Barrett on the unofficial BioWare forum, cut for length:
DA:I -
User: "I am still convinced that Bioware cut the healing spells and went with barriers instead because of the Multiplayer." Luke Barrett: I can't speak to any other games directly but I can give a bit of historic context for DAI. The game was initially a more dungeon/linear delving - see how far you can get - experience and there was no barrier of any kind. As a side note: healing has always been a hot topic in design because as soon as you include it there are many other conceits you now need take into consideration for the gameplay - one of which I will call 'the Anders problem'. Anyway, as DAI got the date moved and shifted more into the pseudo-openworld the concept of attrition (see how far you can get before having to return to camp) became less relevant and we needed to help the Players have more moment-to-moment agency around their survival. Unfortunately for various reasons (one of which is the sad reality of designing a game with a shifting timeline) the healing couldn't be re-added so we ended up with more of a mitigation strategy in the barrier system. It went through a lot of iterations but eventually landed on what it shipped with which I would call... acceptable (but just barely). Now, I will concede that a part of the reason it didn't return after that shift was an aversion to holy trinity gameplay specifically for MP but it wasn't the core reason. As a side story, trying to balance the game (as that was my job on DAI - and yes, it could be much better haha) we had to all but force Players to take barrier. It is intentionally the first skill in the first tree for the Mage and all the autolevel (I also handled that) is designed to get it right away." [source]
User: "Merry Christmas Luke! Sooo what was the hardest class you had to balance? [DA:I]" Luke Barrett: "I feel like anyone who was around for the post-launch content will already know the answer to this as it was the bane of my existence when I got put exclusively on MP after launch but the Knight-Enchanter barrier absorbing was a pain. Stuff like that is very challenging to feel good without being broken as they are relative to damage so scaling is fairly open-ended. Too little and the casual players won't get use out of it, too much and the character builders will be wildly OP. We actually had a 'no nerfing' guideline for the SP side so it was a hard battle to fix that silly thing 🙃." [source]
"As a fun fact, I did all the logic for autolevel on DAI and the guideline I was given was literally "make functional builds, but don't make something optimal that you'd play"." [source]
DA:TV -
User: "If you can, say thanks to the people making the no die option possible." Luke Barrett: "Done! My team handles this stuff so I let them know 😊" [source]
"Comically, I designed the majority of the items and skills and I am still finding it fun making awesome builds (been almost entirely doing playthroughs lately" [source]
"Was really important to the team that everyone could play the way that felt best to them." [source]
"Each specialization has a focus around a few specific mechanics, some of which are the weapons or damage types but you can go off script and make it work for sure (this was intentional in the designs)." [source]
"I designed all the skills and so they're each enjoyable to me to some extent. I have been playing through the game over and over the last couple months for balance purposes so I've played them all fairly extensively." [source]
User: "Necrotic sounds like it could be either Spirit or Nature." User: "For Rogue, it replace "poison". For Mage, it replace spirit (Spirit bomb). For Warrior, it's more spirit (especially Reaper), but some skills could work as poison too. So basically they merged spirit and nature." Luke Barrett: "Thats pretty close to spot on. They were actually heavily iterated on throughout development - I can't (at least currently) go into specifics as to why though." [source]
"the target for the progression vision is that you can make a viable build out of almost** any aspect of the gameplay." [source]
"As for timelines, We started DA4 in October of 2015 roughly. The entire team was moved to MEA for about 3-4 months to help it ship and I also spent all of 3 weeks helping out on Anthem. But otherwise I've been on some incarnation of DA4 for about 9 years now - pretty ready for it to release 😅." [source]
"yes, years of working on the same thing can cause some burnout but I've played through the full game probably about 8 times in the last few months and it's still fun (though some of the specific levels that haven't changed in a long time I've done 50+ times easily and I could do without ever seeing them again 😂)." [source]
User: "I do kind of feel that at this point the DA team has put so much work into creating and improving their tools and learning the ins and outs of Frostbite [...] But who knows what the devs in the trenches really feel" Luke Barrett: "I will say it does some things very well and some things poorly, relative to other engines. Personally I really enjoy Frostbite but I've been using it since 2012. In an ideal world, many engines would be viable and developers would make games suited to the strengths of a specific engine." [source]
User: "Since this game is much more stat heavy than prior titles, specifically when it comes to skills and gear, there's likely a need for some balance changes to be made post-launch. Does the game being playable completely offline hinder the data capture side for your team (in terms of analytics), or is this a non-factor?" Luke Barrett: "Generally speaking, most people leave data analytics on so we get more than enough data coming in. Additionally, I'll personally be watching several channels for things that are underperforming (relatively speaking) and not have to nerf anything. The rpg side is vast though and I'm sure people will find OP combinations/synergies that might need 'adjustments' but as long as it's fun and not an "I win" button that trivializes combat I'm pretty cool with it." [source]
Luke Barrett: "I can safely say there are many builds for each class that will feel very powerful if you're not on the highest difficulty 😉. What I'm really excited for is when the guides comes out that show people the fastest way to get some of the uniques that unlock 'special' gameplay 😊. Let's just say I love the feeling of rushing to Patches in DS1 and kicking him off the bridge for the Crescent Axe (iykyk)." [source] User: "Speaking of guides. Will there be a guidebook like there was for DAI? " Luke Barrett: "Not that I'm aware of but I'm happy to help feed info to somewhere like fextralife or the dragon age wiki after a week or so to help with those pursuits. Have to leave some time for exploration and discovery before the optimizers streamline the experience 😉" [source]
"Effectively, at least until the game launches (and likely a week or so after), you won't get anything interesting out of any of the devs save Mike Gamble or John Epler. Longer term I hope to be very active, at least for build mechanics and all the combat/rpg nuts and bolts conversations." [source]
"I started "da4" in October 2015 and so after 9 years of effort (minus 3 months on Andromeda) I'm quite excited for tomorrow and the launch week. I don't know if I'd say nervous, I feel pretty confident in the product, but definitely that eager kid before Christmas feeling 😊" [source]
"As the person who did all the balance, I will say that if you are comprehending how to make a cohesive build and understand the combat mechanics, you should play on Underdog. One of the downsides to having a lot of power growth vectors is the difference between people who engage vs those that don't becomes a chasm quite quickly. If you start blowing enemies up rapidly, turn up the difficulty (or play on nightmare where that will not be the case) - basically if it ever feels super easy or like enemies are health sponges you're probably on the wrong setting for your skill level. The custom difficulty settings are there to make the gameplay enjoyable (for whatever that means to you)." [source]
"As a tip from me, the balance is subtly tipped in the players favor until the last fight of the 3rd combat mission. Be warned if it's feeling too easy you may want to wait until after that to decide." [source]
[on DA MP] Luke Barrett: "It was actually pretty fun but very much not what most people wanted us to make (including internally). Also we had, let's say, limited staff who had a passion and background in MP so it was definitely the right call to go SP only. Now, it would have been nice had we just started that way but so it goes sometimes." [source] User: "You still play it yourself from time to time (DA MP), or have you left it be?" Luke Barrett: "After playing variations of DA4 for so many years (9!!!) it's hard to go back to anything with DAI controls/gameplay speed. Even the initial Joplin prototypes I was doing were much more snappy/twitchy - for everything good about DAI the combat was definitely in the middle of two different styles." [source]
[on aiming bows] "we actually used to have separate buttons for ADS and ranged attack but it was wildly overloading the controller. These RPG games need controllers with at least 2 more buttons (fingers crossed for the next gen)" [source]
User: "After the last few games, I'm really surprised by the current skill... tree?" Luke Barrett: "I call it a skill graph - aside from the beginning where you have 3 choices the entirety of it is 2 choice splits and it'll essentially make a build for you. Just go a little at a time and aim for whatever specialization seems most fun to you 😄" [source]
"Loot is not random so theoretically guides with drop locations should appear pretty soon." [source]
"Yep, Spellblade is the only spec that directly impacts fire damage but you can get benefits from most of them and still go fire. As for the specs, yes it would have been nice to support all of them but just wasn't in scope unfortunately. Mage has Mourn-Watch, Shadow Dragons, and Antivan Crows specializations - only the Rogue has a Veiljumper one. Deathcaller left side you can go beam based and use a Fire weapon. Evoker you'd likely need to do a hybrid ice/fire build." [source]
User: "Bit of a side question, but for those who intend to make more characters, is BioWare considering upping the amount of playable character slots you can have (currently at 3)? Or is there a hardware restriction here given the game is offline playable?" Luke Barrett: "Don't quote me as I don't handle the technical side of this but my understanding is we have to allocate a specific amount of HD space on the consoles so we basically have to pick a limit, relative to our save file sizes, and then divide that by number of careers. I'll inquire if this is something we can increase with an optional download or something but I suspect consoles are stuck that way, unfortunately." [source]
[on Patch 1] "It's been awhile since I actually did the content for this patch so I'd have to check but I have a pretty anti-nerf policy for SP games. I know I fixed up a couple enemies that weren't as hard as they were supposed to be and definitely boosted a bunch of synergistic things though. I'll take a look tomorrow but for those that don't know, the turnaround time on these things is about a month of it's not an emergency due to certification process with consoles. Longer term my goal is to keep an eye in telemetry of any underused abilities and items (or enemies with too many kills under their belt) and audit them just to double check if they need a boost or if people just haven't figured them out yet 😉." [source]
"The equippable items are all predetermined with a minor exception*. Some items are class specific (all the weapons, a small amount of armors and accessories, 2 runes) so when you play a different class you'll see your classes 'version' of that item. Things that are random (from a table/pool) are valuables. Exception: Near the very end of the game we do a few checks on what equipment you haven't acquired. A bunch of those final drops, and inventory on the final merchant, simply find stuff you don't have and give it to you. That's basically the only major RNG we have with loot. If you notice even 99% of the skills and item mods employ an effect after a condition is met X times rather than a more traditional 'proc chance'." [source]
[on modding] "Once this starts to pick up, feel free to PM me if anyone needs help 'finding' assets or has questions about how one might mod something. We don't officially support mods buuuuut we don't have any kind of anti-modding stance either" [source]
"To give the high level gist of the resource economy: - each class starts off with minimal ability usage, this is intentional to force people to learn the other combat mechanics as they're a necessary skill and it's easy to lean on a crutch like ability spam and kiting - abilities are designed to feel powerful on use, thus they all have a decent cost and can't be spammed* - weapon attacks generate your resource - in the bottom right of the center skills area is a node to make each class's resource easier to manage - halfway down all starting segments (N, SW, SE) there is always a node that boosts generation - there are +max nodes on all sides of the skill graph for each class, this is particularly important for the Mage as they start each fight at max - each class can build into being ability focused but starts intentionally rounded - loastly, the first ability is always a resource spender and 1 or 2 of the next available ones will be cooldown gated. It is recommended to have at least one cooldown based ability slotted" [source]
"So loosely the rogue momentum works like this: - each ability costs 50 momentum - hitting enemies generates ~2 momentum per hit (base), you get extra for bow weakpoints - when you are directly hit, you lose 15% of your current momentum, this means the more you hold the more you will lose (this loss has a small cooldown so you don't lose a whole bar when you get hit rapidly) - momentum carries forward between combats (compared to warrior rage which decays when out of combat) If youre having issues, make sure you get that skill in the middle section that reduces momentum loss when hit. As a helpful tip, the Quicken buff generates small amounts of momentum each second so it's a good way to get more if you're having issues." [source]
"I highly recommend using the belt that grants Quicken early game until you can generate momentum faster yourself. And yes, the time dilation affects everything in the world except the Player so all your buffs and things still tick at normal speed" [source]
User: "If I knock an enemy off an edge, if they were supposed to drop something will it appear on the edge, or is it lost for good?" Luke Barrett: "It should appear on the ledge. I will say the 'real' loot from enemy drops are all hand placed. The actual random stuff is just valuables and materials." [source]
" The way it actually works is very complicated with a lot of necessary exceptions but loosely - each ability has a base damage and ones that hit multiple times have an offset multiplier. - That value is multiplied by the sum of all your stat bonuses, conditional bonuses, resist and layer modifiers. - We then subtract enemy defense and multiply by 1-resist (with penetration being calculated here). - this new damage then gets multiplied by 1+crit+weakpointpoint (so those bonuses always feel meaty) and then multiplied by a random number between .95 and 1.05 just to give a little range to the floaties (basically just a presentation thing) - we then multiply again for buffs and debuffs so they, again, always feel meaningful - lastly, we take all added damage and add it flat on top" [source]
"Specific enhancements make enemies immune to the matching affliction. For example, Fire Enchanted enemies are immune to burning. Juggernaut enemies are immune to being staggered but otherwise it should work in everything." [source]
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riririnnnn · 5 hours ago
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I have this foreboding feeling that while we are prepared for Sae's and Shidou's backstory, Nagi's backstory is going to sneak from behind and punch us in the gut.
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No, I don't think it's going to be straight up depression like Kaiser's, but I do think that it'll hit close to home.
You see, Nagi got Laissez-faire parents which means they never really interfered with his life. Like, these type of parents—as I have read on some websites—will basically set their child free and let them do whatever they want with no or very few rules/restrictions. They will not tell you, "Oh! You should do this!" or "Oh! You shouldn't do this!" They will simply let you figure out your life all by yourself.
I'm not an expert on this and I'm not calling this type of parenting bad in any way. Every child is different with different needs, and I'm sure there are many who grew up in this kinda family and liked this parenting method. However, I do think that Nagi didn't like it that much, and I got two reasons to think this way:
1. "That's nice."
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When Reo said that his family constantly meddles in his life, Nagi's immediate reaction was, "That's nice" instead of being surprised or disgruntled. If Nagi really liked his parents NOT meddling in his life, then he should've said something like, "Really!? Sucks to be you, Reo. I can't imagine living a life like that!"
You getting me?
Also, we all know how Nagi is—he definitely feels that telling someone to do or not to do something is a hassle, so he, probably, feels that if someone is doing all this for you, then you are important for them.
And before any one says, no, I don't think Nagi was tying up his tongue thinking, "They are his parents. They wouldn't want anything bad for their own child, right? I shouldn't say anything against them and should say good things about them just to be safe." I don't think he has this kind of filter in him.
2. "Don't die ."
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So, why would you not want someone to die? Of course, because you care for them and want them to be with you.
"Want"
That's really what I'm tryna highlight.
It's a pretty common knowledge that some children are just naturally more independent while others are a bit more dependent and seek guidance from the elders. Considering Nagi's first reaction to knowing about Reo's parents' meddling, I think that Kiddo!Nagi falls into the latter category—someone who likes to be guided and helped by the adults. Now, place Kiddo!Nagi with his Laissez-faire parents... You are getting where I'm going with this one?
That's why I think that Kiddo!Nagi, probably, thought that his parents didn't love him/care for him. And what happens if someone doesn't love you or care for you? Yeah, they don't care if you die which, somewhat, explains why Older!Nagi was happy to hear, "Don't die [before us (probably)]" from his parents.
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I have already talked about his potential backstory before too, so it was actually when I heard he had longer bangs as a child that made my head turn to him again—something felt odd.
I understand that having long bangs is not a big deal—Niko's bangs literally cover his eyes, but having it as a kid is way different, y'know. Once you are like 12-13, you somewhat become capable of doing your own hair and clothes by yourself, so you can manage whatever aesthetics you prefer. However, for a kid younger than that, it's the parents' responsibility to look after his/her hair and clothes, and we all know that long bangs are quite bothersome—blocks our vision, sometimes stabs the eyes, and even irritatingly itches the nose.
All in all, till his backstory drops, I'd firmly believe that he was, though unintentionally, a neglected kid—at least, emotionally.
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Now I can't get this image out of my head where Kiddo!Nagi is longingly staring at other kids in a park where everyone is learning things like riding a bicycle or maybe playing baseball and stuff with their parents while he is just.. there, probably, all alone.
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theyanderespecialist · 3 days ago
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Base Yandere Jimmy Headcanons: No Accountability (Mouthwashing)
[Hello, My Sexy Muffins! Now I know on YouTube the majority of you voted for Daisuke! But this one was requested so it will be done before that! 
(Disclaimer: Jimmy is insane and is a horrible piece of poo! But he is not yandere in canon this is just for fun and not to be taken seriously at all! Simping for fictional characters, yanderes, villains, and such is fine! Just do not be illegal or gross about it! You know who you are! You Dirty, Flaky, Biscuits! Yanderes are not ideal partners to have in real life! Also, remember to separate fiction from reality and headcanon from canon! 
Disclaimer: Jimmy in canon R-Worded Anya, is not a good character and he would be an even worse yandere. Probably worse than Valentino from Hazbin Hotel, because at least Valentino is up front about his poo behavior while Jimmy is not! 
Twigger Warning: There is mention of the Sa and other stuff, as Jimmy in the canon is not a good character or man, so he wouldn't care about consent or your choice in the matter, this is darker, proceed with caution!) 
Please enjoy this chapter here!] 
-Base Yandere Headcanons with Jimmy from Mouthwashing- 
.Jimmy is a very manipulative man and a narcissist.
.He fell for you and wanted you to be his and his alone.
He is the type of yandere who wants to have complete control over you and have you love him.
.He is the type of yandere who is possessive, controlling, and is very much the jealous type.
.He would be possessive in that he does not want to share you with anyone, not even your family.
.You did not need your family when you had him! You did not need anyone but him! 
.He would even manipulate you into thinking that you did not need anyone other than him, that all you have to do is depend on him and him alone. 
.That is right this will come up again and again in this of him being a super manipulative yandere. 
.He is the jealous yandere type which ties in with his possessive yandere side. 
.Because he sees you as his property and his partner that if you were to spend too much time with anyone else or to get close to anyone else he would get jealous. 
.In his mind you belong to him and he does not like to share so of course he would be jealous of the smallest things. 
.Daisuke shares a sugar packet with you. You are clearly are seeing the rich kid. 
.Swansea treats you like a father figure would, you clearly are trying to replace him as the man you need to rely on in your life. 
.You have sleepovers with Anya, this is where he really projects his insecurities and flat out would think you are sleeping with her and cheating on him. 
.As a Nasrscisst and a yandere he would project his own issues and thoughts on you and his rivals. 
.He also is a very delulu yandere. Being so delusional that you are teasing him and also trying to make him jealous. 
.And he is obsessive over that, sometimes grabbing you and telling you that he "Knows exactly what you are doing." and "That you would not get away with teasing him and or making him jealous." 
.He feels that he would be better as a leader and would be the best on top and have control not only of you but of the crew as well. 
.He then could be the hero and the man who saved the day. 
.He does care for you on some level and with that he would try and make things right with you. 
.In his words take responsibility for what he has done to you and how he fucked up with you. 
.It could go either way with how twisted his mind was. 
.He would be the type to manipulate you and gaslight you, making you feel crazy and that it is your fault that he is so jealous. 
.Very toxic, not very demure, most certainly not mindful! 
.He is a selfish yandere so would rarely put his concern with what you want or need. 
.Also he is a yandere that would borderline force himself on you, may it be by getting you drunk or high and taking advantage of you. 
.Or manipulating and gaslighting you into having sex with him even though you would have tried to say no. 
.In his mind you agreed to it so you wanted it and you enjoyed it so you had to have wanted it. 
.Also he would be the type to blame you if you are walking around the way you do and dressed the way you are. 
.You were pretty much asking for it, that is what Jimmy would think, because he did not see him as doing anything wrong. 
.To him you were his and it did not matter if you said no because in his mind you were teasing him to rile him up. 
.He is a real piece of poo and one of the more worst yanderes that I have had to do. 
.He would be the type of yandere who does not take accountability for his actions. 
.He deals with rivals by more or less bullying them, manipulating them, and even physically removing them from around you. 
.He can only think of himself and once again the projection game is strong. 
.He knows that he wants you to all himself, so anyone that even looks at you let alone gets close to you is obsessed with you too! 
.Which means that it is his job to get rid of his rivals (most of the time they are not even his rivals in the first place just him being delusional) so that they cannot be close to you. 
.He would go as far as even killing them if he had to and he would tell you that he had been the good guy and was keeping you safe and sound. 
.He would rather die than admit that he has ever hurt you.
.He will never be able to admit that he has hurt you and that he is not good for you. 
He confesses to you one night on the ship, and he would most likely not take no for an answer. 
.If you accept his love it will be smooth, but toxic for the most part and he would adore you more than anyone else. 
.Of course, you would still be on edge with his temper. 
.If you reject him and make it out without being harmed by him, he would be super petty. 
.He would also be the type of yandere to play it off like he had been joking and why would anyone want you anyways? 
.That he could do so much better than you, and that you would have been lucky to have him. 
.He had his ego hurt and he was going to make sure you thought you were the unlucky one and that you would regret it. 
.He does not give up with leering at you or desiring you, he would make you his mark his words. 
.In his mind you were making him work for you~ and Work for you he will. 
.Side note if you were in the game he would have fed you a part of Curly's legs and also would have put you in the pod instead of Curly. 
.Jimmy my boy is an insane and unhinged yandere that is for sure. 
[YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS another chapter is done! I hope you all enjoyed this and stay sexy, all of my sexy muffins!] 
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br4inr0tx · 2 days ago
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Here we go with another match, this time for 🐻 Anon!
Another note, yes I’ve been gone for like two months.. Halloween season is a busy season for me every year since my dumbass decided to become a scare actor. Even better, I got sick right after! Yay! Now I’m back, I’m going to go on a marathon and get all the matches in my inbox out of the way.
TW - Toxic Replationships, Forced Affection, Torture, Guns, and Knives.
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Your Boyfriend to Death matchup is… REN HANA !!
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• This may have been an obvious one, but I think Ren is the best for you!
• Ren’s type is generally alt people. Anyone into nerd culture regarding media series definitely catch his attention first. Seeing an artsy, pinky person like you immediately makes him have heart eyes for you. I guess you could say he just wants an anime looking bf/gf/partner. Since you fit in that category, you got him pretty easily!
• Hazzah! You’re taller than him! Don’t think he’ll let you get away with bullying him about it. He’s a little bit self conscious, and will most likely punish you with the shock collar for it.
• As I mentioned before, Ren is a sucker for cute things. Seeing anything cute, especially something from you, can pull on his heartstrings. If you wear any anime related stuff, or even those Japanese lolita dresses, he’s going head of heels.
• He loves putting you and/or helping you pick in certain outfit. As you’d expect he loves seeing you in anime character cosplays, or just anything cute. Seeing you in lingerie is a special treat.
• Now uh.. about the bear thing. He might get mad jealous because as a beastkin fox, he’s nothing close to a bear. He might get a little lowkey offended, but it’s probably him just being bratty. He’ll get over it.. maybe.
• Unfortunately for you, Ren likes bringing up and doing the things you hate and fear, just to provoke you when you’re not feeling your best. Those little reminders showing you he’s in control are his favorite.
• While he���s mostly cheery, Ren seems to have the ability to go from 0 to 100 REALLY quickly. Some people might consider him the nicest out of all the candidates in BTD, but I like to think he’s equally as dangerous as the rest of them.
• Ren is calm when listening to you, which is good, although most of the time when you seek advice he recommends killing. Please don’t listen to him, or else he might invite his friend Lawrence over for a little fun.
• He thinks you’re super creative! All of your art makes him mesmerized. His form of art comes in the form of snuff films mostly, but I think he has a decent hand at art too.
• Ren most likely listens to anime intros, or alt electronic pop music. Think MSI or And One. I can see him vibing with your music though!
• He gives you all the sweets in the world to fulfill your sweet tooth, unless you’re bad for him. In that case he forbids you from sweets.
• He tends to talk about how much he loves you a lot. Uniquely for him, I feel like he’s the most loving out of all the guys. You tend to be high maintenance, and need reassurance, he’s your guy to remind you all the time of his love.
• He forces you to be close to him a lot. He’s always touching you, not always in hugs and kisses. Even having his claws a little ways into your flesh gives him the power boost he needs.
• Oh.. you like being abused? You already know loves fulfilling all of your naughty desires, exactly how you want them. Beg and cry all you want, once you make any sign at him for him to start, there’s no off switch until he’s says done.
• Ren is a little clinging and teasing. Like a fox, he’s sneaky and isn’t always truthful. He’s a king of manipulation, but.. this is what you wanted. I’m sure you’ve told him yourself, and now? He’s NEVER letting you go.
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givemeallyourpenny · 2 months ago
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I sure hope it’s more than ten years because you definitely are not eleven
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harvestmoth · 1 year ago
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more rejuv things but its. its just this guy again, im sorry shes all i can draw
#everyday im like i wanna draw :] and then i just end up with this thing on the page#i refuse to draw hands holding. because i cannot and im too lazy to figure it out#oh yea a couple of these i havent posted before because theyre lame to me but ill put them here for now#anyways!!#i was gonna say something about a couple of these but i forgot#oh well#pokemon rejuvenation#does she. lose her ribbon in blacksteeple. i forgot#she still has it to me..#to me her c15 hair tie is a torn part of the ribbon#anyways again. yesterday i finally figured out what the rejuvrp is. very cool stuff im so incredibly intrigued by it#i have no idea whats going on! but it looks so cool ill try to read it more later.#oh right again about the rejuvrp thing. the character designs ive seen are so so so cool i want to draw them so bad#i think i have to ask about that first though and there is! no way i am going to do that!!! i do not want to bother them#and i think my heart would explode from the fear of it all before i even typed the message.#that and im very lazy! theres a very good chance i wouldnt even draw it in the first place#anyways unrelated but i think if i get another comment from someone on something i Will Actually Explode.#i see someone said something and it kills me on the daily. what is happening... thank you.. i appreciate it very much...#sorry to whoever read all of that. um. hi youre really cool and i hope you have a good day/night#i think being on twitter has done something to me i have to leave it immediately. anyways back to twitter#wait actually i should go back to playing rejuv. im still in the grove from when i first posted the gym leader melia au. im afraid to leave#also play pokemon rejuvenation no i will not stop saying that everytime i post one of these
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axvwriter · 10 months ago
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I gave this a quick look and clicked the button. If you decide to not allow cookies, the button apparently doesn't work. I'm assuming it has something to do with the ad sponsors as it seems that a click means the ad sponsors will be paying? Not entirely sure how it works, but if that sounds a little too sus for anyone, after I clicked I did notice it giving a link to a list of charities.
So here's arab.org's list of charities to give to to help Palenstinians for anyone who wants to look into those.
you can click on this button once daily to help palestine and support other causes in the middle east for free. it takes literally 5 seconds and could help save lives so please take the time to click and share this link.
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hiiragi7 · 3 months ago
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Not my usual content, but I made something I wanted to share...
Edit: Now with an ID from @a-captions-blog! Thank you for writing it!
[Art description: A Pokémon-themed comic featuring OP as a Pikachu. Long description follows.
1. The tips of Pikachu’s ears are shown with text that says, ‘I’m a Pikachu / My world is filled with lots of cool stuff. Sometimes it feels like anything is possible!’ Under this is a collage showing a Charizard, a Pidgeotto, a Nidoking, an Eevee, and an Ivysaur, all in the background as the Pikachu looks up in wonder. Text reads, ‘All sorts of types, all sorts of attacks, all sorts of Pokemon.’
2. Text says, ‘But...only two ways a Pikachu’s tail could look.’ Two boxes in the upper corners show the male and female Pikachu tails, respectively. The male has a rectangular end to his tale, and the female has a heart-shaped end to hers. Text continues, ‘So then, what am I?’ A large drawing of the narrator Pikachu is shown, with an arrow pointing to their tail, whose end is split somewhat like scissors and doesn’t match either the male or female drawing above.
3. Text says, ‘Too pointy to be [female], too much of a V-shape to be [male]. I thought there was something wrong with me.’ Under this are three cascading panels showing the Pikachu from below at an angle emphasizing their tail. The second panel shows mel further away, and in the final panel she have disappeared entirely. Text on the panels reads, ‘I felt / very, very, very / alone.’
4. Text says, ‘But then, something happened. I found others like me.’ The art shows the narrator reaching out to another Pikachu. Under this are three other Pikachu. One has a rounded tail, one has a tail that has been stitched up to be rectangular, and one has a tail with a slight spike at the tip.
5. Closeups are shown of each of the tails from the previous panel, with text that says, ‘Round tails, scarred tails, spiky tails.’ Under this is a drawing of the Pikachu all hugging with lightning coming from their cheeks. Text reads, ‘They told me nothing was wrong with me, and I wasn´t alone anymore.’
6. Text says, ‘There are many ways a Pikachu’s tail can look. I’ve heard there’s at least over 30 different variations.’ Under this are two panels. The first panel shows the narrator lying on their back on a background of male and female symbols. Text reads, ‘Some days are still hard.’ In the second panel, the Pikachu with the scarred tail is shown with text that says, ‘My friend tells me her tail used to look just like mine. It was taken from her.’
8. The narrator is shown sitting and looking upwards. Text reads, ‘Some trainers won’t accept Pikachu that aren’t [male] or [female]. They alter our tails without our consent. But things are getting better. We are making change. We’re fighting so that our tails will be left alone.’ Under this is a panel showing the four Pikachu running happily towards the right. Text reads, ‘We’re all on a spectrum. Every tail looks different; anything is possible.’
The final text reads, ‘This is a comic about intersex people.’ The watermark in the lower right says @ PostManic. \End descriptions
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what-even-is-thiss · 4 months ago
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The reason people don’t want to work is that it’s just normal for them to be in bad work environments.
My issue with working at Walmart wasn’t the work itself I was doing. It was the circumstances around it. The concrete floor, lack of places to sit, having to put up with asshole customers, not getting time off for injuries, and bad pay.
If I had been given shock pads to stand on or a few chairs to rest on sometimes, if they paid me a livable amount of money and I was allowed to yell back at asshole customers, if they had given me any amount of training, I would happily work part time folding clothes all day and telling people where the swimsuit section is.
I’m a creative type. I’m a writer. I’m pretty smart, even. But if I could make a living folding shirts and listening to podcasts in one ear and helping people find the scented candles for 30 hours a week? I would. Leaves some mental space free for me to brainstorm. Lets me catch up on my reading with audiobooks.
But instead I was treated so badly by upper management and customers that I’m like legitimately a little frightened whenever I step into a Walmart now. And I only worked there for three months a few years ago.
I’m a good lower level worker. When I’m treated well. I like finishing tasks. I like being helpful. I like having some time to talk to coworkers and some time alone with my thoughts. I’m a frickin team player. And that’s how I was at my first job. I was treated well by my supervisor. I was trained. They were patient with me. I was so good at being low on the totem pole at that job because I was valued and felt like I was being listened to. I was able to sit still when there was nothing left to do which made it feel less bad when we were on a time crunch. I didn’t mind working hard at that job because it was fun even though I was doing all the low level stuff that the supervisors didn’t want do.
But at Walmart I was like that for all of two days. Then I figured out that nobody appreciated my work and if I worked in my normal people pleasing manner I’d kill myself because their standards were high and the rewards for meeting them were low.
So I slowed down. I started avoiding customers. I started taking a lot longer to get to my breaks and to come back from them. I became worse at my job because no matter how good I was at it there would be no reward, no appreciation, and I’d just be pushed further beyond my limits.
My only level of happiness from that job came from the people who were working with me. The old ladies and my department manager who made sure I wasn’t overextending myself. The one other young man working in the clothing department who always got sent with me to unload the heavy stuff and commiserated with me about the shoulder injuries, the hurting feet we were too young to have.
But none of that was enough to make me stay. We were constantly understaffed. I was constantly abused by customers and not able to do a thing about it. I was not paid much at all. So as soon as I had enough saved up for what I was trying to do and my last semester of college was about to start I handed in my two weeks.
I would have found a way to stay if I liked that job. If I liked that job I would’ve pushed myself to my mental limits to finish college and keep that job at the same time. Heck that job could’ve been a rest from college. A place to get away from it. But I hate that job so I got out as soon as I could.
I want to work. I want enough money to live sort of comfortably. I want to have some tasks to do to give my creativity a rest. I want to be a part of something. But the way that modern corporate run work environments are set up does not give me any of the things I actually want out of a job. And I think that’s the same for millions of people right now. A lot of people would happily spend their lives as a waitress or an Uber driver or a warehouse worker or a farmhand or any other “low skill” job you can possibly think of. But with the way the world works right now those jobs are absolutely miserable. It doesn’t have to be that way. I know because I’ve had a fulfilling part time minimum wage job that I looked forward to going to every week. A job where I was listened to and allowed to sit when I needed to. I miss that job. Especially now since I’ve realized that’s not the standard. It should be. People should look forward to going to work or at the very least not get mild ptsd whenever they set foot into a Walmart.
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orcelito · 2 months ago
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My nose has been so fucked up lately, like snotty and sneezy, but I'm not otherwise feeling sick. And I think I know what's going on.
The Dust.
I've recently moved my fan to the floor so that when I have it running as I sleep, it's not blowing on me (bc it's gotten colder). I think it's kicking up a ton of dust tho and making my nose HATE. ME.
I've come up with a list of cleaning goals to accomplish over break though which includes dusting and cleaning the floors. So hopefully I can make it better for myself 🙏
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thetangibleghost · 2 months ago
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I gotta confess it is so much more fun talking to Sal as if he is a separate person like he wants and not a member of the system. He's super creative like. Its just fun.
#It was hard to understand because they were wrapping up a bunch of stuff kinda fast. and it seemed like they were introducing new#things too? The fight scenes were cool.#person with Delusional Disorder: so hear me out#playing a dangerous game#Were bonding over sailor moon#JK btw like dont worry. The delusions dont really work like that. You could say i guess that thats his personal delusion?#idk its kind alike a severity scale MOST if not all of us have the truman show delusion. to some degree in some form. the specifics very#and then certain alters have additional delusions.#there all pretty bizarre. like I think thats the category you could put pretty much all of them in#which is interesting#some of them are more whatever the one where you think people are after you is called#so technically we would be mixed type? but idk if we would even fall into the type-able like... because the way it interacts with our DID#at first i thought my therapist was totally bullshitting this but the longer im like. living alone away from family the more sense this#diagnosis makes?#esp cause last time i googled it there was like. no fucking info. jut the wiki page about how this disorder gets misdiagnosed in people who#are part of grand conspiracies and how when thats not the case theyre basically just doing it to them selves :/#but i guess theres more research now? or something because now theres like medical articles!! and they make way more sense and actually#align with what we experience so thats super cool#its still kinda like. Huh??? but i guess it runs in families and i can totally think of several family members who i think have this#I also had drug induced psychosis i think. so- interesting how my therapist was able to parse that. i should text him.#omg yeah so apparently Sal (or specifically one of his alters) has seen just the end and ive seen just the beginning!!#i know thats so silly and like. Too Perfect. kind of thing but its fun!!!!! He said it was confusing and he liked it but it took him a#couple watches to know what was going on.#he actually didnt know what season he had seen (other than it definitely wasnt the first one lol) so i read through the ep titles until#he reconized them. he stilll didnt reconize them really but like half way through the last season (I went out of order) he was like#“this sounds sorta right. there was a lot of space fighting and stuff”#he had to think about it for a minute because i guess he just hadnt consider that that was the end#he was relieved to hear that theres specials and stuff after#but maybe hes lying 0-0 thats always interesting !!!!#syst
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kuiinncedes · 2 months ago
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#maisie and conan r both so funny silly goofy i love them sm😭#me trying not to be parasocial but literally their little speeches and stuff in btwn songs were so funny lol#conan said a little thank you after every song it was so sweet i love him ;-; and maisie was honestly just so funny i love herrr#goddamn they both went so hard 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 already post concert depresso fr#it was so so fun 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 i got a bourgeoisieses shirt and it was way too expensive but i dont give a fuck i'm so excited to wear it#sang my little fucking heart out to both of their sets along w everyone else what a fucking vibe#especially everyone screaming along w conan#i want to do it again ;-; immediately ;-;;;;#god these two have th best bangers holy shit#lost the breakup was SO FUCKING FUN#top of my fucking lungs *OH SHIT!!!!!!!! YOU LOST THE BREAKUP!!!!!!!!!*#MANIAC WAS SOOOOO FUCKING FUNNNNNNNNN#god fucking dammit#i have to be productive and stuff tmrw and whatever but i don't want to do anything#rip i dont even have like concert vids to look at tho bc my stupid camera only works in .5 lens so i didn't bother LOL#we were already kinda far away / not super close so .5 made it tiny#but it was fun anyway <3333 i'm literally not gonna be listening to any other music for the next idk like next month#i need to go get ready for bed but i rly don't want to lol 😭#i just want to live in today bc it's concert day 🥹 even tho concert is over but if i go to sleep#i'll wake up and be even more removed fromconcert than right now not going to sleep 🥹 LOL#wonder if my roommate can hear me typing on my laptop rn for this and is like wtf she doing#guys i fucking love music so much.#🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹#jeanne talks#i'm surprised by how much energy i had i was jumping up and down sm lol#the songs were too fun to jump to i couldn't help it 🥹🥹#A;JSHGAIFGALJGJLRJNGAKLJFDBJDJLKDNFREGLRGJAF;#conan and maisie i miss u already ;-;#ALSO SINGING ALONG SO LOUD IN THE CAR BEFORE AND AFTER W MY FRIEND WAS SO SO FUN 🥹🥹🥹#y can’t that just be my entire life . why can’t concerts be a thousand million times easier to go to
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nomairuins · 3 months ago
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and also it doesnt even matter if i miraculously get a job tmrw bc we don't have a car . and im too out of shape to walk anywhere bc everything is far away . so i genuinely dont jnow what to do
#im not smart or talented or hot enough to have a source of income working from home.#i dont have a ged or a kicense or a way to get to work or much experience + ive got a steadily fucking growing gap in my employment history.#And i have essentially 0 social skills i barely Function half the time im dissociated or just crying. im weak and out of shape and#not pretty im like. unhireable i think . and again even if a place did hire me I dont have a way to fucking get 2 work#i might be able to walk 2 a place if i had been at work for a while bc if be more used to being on my feet and active again. its take a#while and id be in a Lot of pain but like. itd be doable. and once i worked for s bit i could get lyfts even tho Expensive also idk that#there as many drivers here. and wtvr. but if i did that itd be Less money to help my family and less money to save up toget my own place and#atp maybe its selfish of me to want my own place and i need to judt be more grateful im allowed 2 stay here . yk#idk. im so tired i just need like. idk. ik the only way is to just get through it and get a job and make it work but it feels so pointless#everything always does. i cant keep getting over hurdles man im so fucking tired of getting through hurdles#every single day is Difficult and every single day is the Same and any time j manage to have a good day ill just go right back to feeling#exactly the same. and even if it looks like everythings better for a bit it all goes back down eventually and ik im supposed to be like But#itll get better again after that <3 ups and downs are a part of life <3 we have to have the bad to appreciate the good <3 im just fucking#sick of the goddamn bad im fucking sick of it ive had enough bad i want good. ik other ppl deserve it more i want everybody to have good#days and be safe and happy i don't want things to keep getting worse but everything just gets worse and all the good parts r tempirary and#im so tired. I am not your strongest soldier bro !!!#idk. i just want to be atable i dont need anything crazy i just want my family to live comfortably and to have enough money that i can#donate i rly donot need much i dont need that much food 2 survive i dont need a ton of space i dont need a nide house i like. i just want to#be Stable and know that everything will be ok. yk. at least 4 my family i want them all to be able to eat and the bills 2 be paid and#hopefully for lamp and the kids 2 go to college. bc lamp and tag both want to go to college and itsy is 6 so he soesnt care#but i want them to be able to so bad bc i can't and i ws never gonna be able to and i dont get to be whiny abt that but like. they want to#and theyre smart and passionate and like. i want them to be able to achieve their dreams and get to have normal lives and be fulfilled and#happy. yk. idk. annie showed me her schoolwork the other day and since it wa first week at like. an alt school it ws a lot of personality#type stuff and mental health stuff and im not gonna get into it bc its not mine to tell but. their answers for one of the things made me so#upset bc it sounded so much like me when i was their age and even now and it makes me feel so guilty that like. i didnt make it better for#them. im the one whos supposed to endure it and then theyre supposed to get to be happy but im too fuckinf weak nowadays and i can't keep#any of them safe or happy and i feel so insanely useless. i hate it i just want to be useful idc anymore like. i want to be good i want to#be helpful i want to be cared abt and its so selfish bc a part of me is like. Ohh wahhh we shouldnr have to do all that to be cared abt wahh#and its dumb bc Yes i do its my job. it just fucking sucks rn bc like i have all the like. sorrow over this being what i have to do and this#is my lot in life but i also have all the guilt over how im not doing it bc km lazy and selfish and i cant just work bc im . Ugh
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halfbit · 6 months ago
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i am getting started on productivity for the night but haven't figured out yet if i want to write or art first and there's also the tiny part of my brain that just wants to stare at kabru until it is ok to stop staring at kabru
#i don't talk about fandom stuff much here since i don't really get involved with it#but i do fixate on characters and right now i am circling around him like a wolf#tempted to draw him too but i can never capture his big beautiful eyes properly#i've also been tempted to draw beefcake laios but UHHhh thats for another day and i dont know if i will share that LOL#i finished the manga but i haven't had the energy to watch more of the show so i'm just thinking about the characters on my own and going :#also contemplating if i should draw a pride pfp (unrelated)#basically there is so much to do and it is overwhelming to work through the list#and i keep wanting to add more to it#also need to promo my commissions again more and add those sketches still but trying to figure out how to price them and don't have the#energy to type up explanations for them yet blagh#and i'm trying to balance that “realistically- i need more income coming in” with also “but i can't overwhelm myself with tasks”#<- which is very unambiguously clear that i do that just fine even without working on things for other people#is it obvious that my therapist relocated and i haven't been given a new one yet.#i can therapize myself So Good (actually overthinking and spiraling)#<- but please do not worry this is actually not a bad spiral which is good it is just a “things to do” spiral but it is fortunately#missing the key component of doom and horror and the world ending because i did not accomplish everything right#which is what a bad spiral contains and i've actually been on a pretty good streak avoiding those lately in spite of circumstances!#but if i linger on it it will probably turn into a lie so i will stop doing that#speaking of shows i watched the new episode of kaiju no. 8 today and i am just aggghrrhekrjskfj#i love hoshina so much#and he's been getting a lot of focus in these episodes so im happy#i love the way they animate his fights like!! wow#i need to watch them all on sakugabooru later#but i can't tonight if i want to do things#but i will later because they deserve frame-by-frameing#also i'm going to go pick up two volumes of wind breaker tomorrow i think#unfortunately i ordered them before i learned my hours were getting cut but#i have enough to cover my bills this month and since i'm not buying lunches or dinner for myself anymore because i'm not leaving the house#i'd rather just get them now instead of worrying about someone else buying them if i take too long#and let that be my last personal purchase for awhile
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phagodyke · 6 months ago
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didn't even get to do my ironing :-(
#tw self harm#i was looking forward to it.. i usually find it calming n a nice way to end a weekend#but kept having thoughts abt intentionally burning myself or hitting myself with the iron so im leaving it for another day#its fine if my clothes are a bit crumpled at work anyway. i think i have some extra stuff i ironed i didnt wear last week too#im safe btw its fine ive been using ice + gentle pressure on my skin to take the edge off (i keep my nails too short to scratch dw)#if i did have to cut it wouldnt be ideal but its a neutral act i try not to judge it. but ik its less safe + i dont want it to become#a habit again bc i already let myself do it last weekend and im still a bit frustrated abt it bc id been managing so well#and it was the first time since january. and before then i hadnt since august which is a really big deal for me!#bc last year + year before i was really struggling with reliance on it. i had months where i was doing it daily or every other day#and its hardest to stop when its habitual. once on occasion is much more manageable so lets keep it that way#one day itll be the last time i ever do it and ill be clean the rest of my life but i dont think im near that yet#it feels kind of uncomfortable to type this out but i want to stop keeping my thoughts on s/h in my head bc i get weird abt it#and the last thing i need right now is to get weird abt harming urges again. and i dont think my friends are safe to talk to abt it#so talking on here is the closest thing i have to being open abt it. im tired of it being so stigmatised#ultimately its just a coping mechanism. even if it can be unsafe but like drinking or smoking or whatever to feel better is no safer so#but still i dont want to encourage it. anyway#at least ive calmed down a bit now. and i finished some admin i was putting off earlier#and now i need to sleep bc work tomorrow. just glad the weekend is over its so much easier to cope on work days#just the structure and distraction of it innit. we'll get through this week#and im back on the more stable dose again for meds this week as well so hopefully thatll help#and i think my periods due which has probably been tipping these mood swings over into intolerable#so hopefully thatll start tomorrow or tues and the hormonal shit will recede 🙏#all good. okay im gonna meditate a little and then sleep goodnight 😴#.diaries
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