#but that’s risk huh
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Social transition being seen (by some) as this super easy thing that isn't as hard as real transitioning (medical) is bullshit. Be critical of the idea that there are some trans people who just "have it easy" because they are trans or because they are trans in ways you may not be.
Social transition is just as difficult, hard, and rewarding as medical transition. Maybe it is not as hard for some, sure, but that is not the same as thinking that social transition is inherently easier or lesser. If you're socially transitioning, your voice still matters.
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#mtf#nonbinary#not to mention that so many people DO want to medically transition but *can't*#so it can be even harder for some when they feel social transition is their only option when they don't want it to be#but social transition carries its own risks and challenges and again rewards#and i've seen this idea plenty where it's like 'oh you don't GET my struggles because you're SOCIALLY transitioning'#and while yes i am different than some trans people to say i'm struggling *more* if i'm the only one medically transitioning is??? huh????#i don't buy into this idea that social transition is never scary because you don't have the boot of the medical system on your back#(though non-med or pre-med transitioning people still face issues in medical settings so even THEN we aren't seperate)#like there's very few ways you can separate my issues as a medically-transitioning person and the issues of somebody who isn't...#...and by that i mean there's few ways you can separate our issues so that mine trumps theirs or that i'm seen as like... trans but More#does that make sense?#medical transitioning is important but that doesn't mean it is *more* important or that only *it* is important#you can support us who are medically transitioning without erasing the experiences and struggles of other trans people#and plus... so many of us who are medically transitioning NOW are the people who socially transitioned THEN#and dare i say i despised social transition more because of how hard it was? medical transition has been (more or less) easier...#...in that i can just *be* now
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the fact that all it took for those spineless cowards to back down was one rando (sorry dermy love you dermy but face of a franchise he is not) saying “no, you move” is so perfectly emblematic of who the league is and what that stand for (nothing).
#gav gab#fucking incredible thank you travis#one. ONE guy and they folded like wet tissue paper#but just#man he didn’t know that huh#that was a huge risk for a guy in a contract year making like#what - league min?#and i for one am never going to forget it
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"you're all talk."
#hidden agenda#joongdunk#joke x zo#joong archen#dunk natachai#gmmtv#thai bl#bl drama#JDGFKHD my dudes?????#im done with them and their shenanigans#i guess were gonna have to keep up with that for the next 3 months huh#the way Joong is always ready to risk it all and kiss his besties is sending me#good for him though#im so excited to see them on my screen again starting next week 🥺#i missed them
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Hi have a v2 (and a bandit)
#i fucking hate school when this thing is going to end it huh#v2 ultrakill#ultrakill art#ultrakill#ultrakill fanart#ultrakill v2#v2#risk of rain art#risk of rain#ror2#risk of rain fanart#risk of rain 2#ror2 fanart#art#artists on tumblr#ror#bandit ror2#risk of rain returns#sorry if the quality is low my phone is still shitty
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[x]
#joker out#nace jordan#jan peteh#jance#nat's gifs#it's jan's turn on the heart eyes#once again he is a babygirl in nace's arms huh#nace so subtly looking at jan's lips in the first one he too is willing to risk it all...#yeah bad quality video off tumblr so gifs are low quality but look at them! adorable!#also remember the other angle of jan holding nace tightly around the waist from the livestream...#something something comfort people
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the phrase “adultifying a dragon” is going to live in my head forever. this whole thing is ridiculous
#flight rising#but please keep telling me about how staff actually does run this site well LMAO#at risk of being crucified i really dont think it should matter what people do w their permababy skins#bc at the end of the day a lot of this game comes down to what art looks prettier#other peoples interpretations of that is well…theirs.#obvs exceptions. weve had our share of creeps on the sire#this is just. a very odd way to about it#fucking blanket statement ‘lolita’ like huh???#*proceeds to give the vaguest descriptions ever*#its. its a dragon.
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the entire season they've shown sylvie perpetually being okay to just walk away from the fray and getting no consequences whatsoever. which would be ok since she doesn't rlly care about them like loki does. but in the end she just moves on so fast after she watched loki isolate himself and go off JUST to fix her mistake.......
meanwhile mobius is there, frozen in that time, left behind by the person he's an "expert" on not only bc of his job but bc of their friendship, him quitting the job that was his entire life, because loki has left and his previous purpose didn't have loki anymore
it's just fucked up how everyone else got their happy endings (good for them) except for loki and mobius. they're apart, separated once again, looking miserable in their last shots. just like last season.
#hhnnggg i dont hate sylvie i think she deserves peace and to rest#but the fact that loki had to sacrifice everything he's work on (his friends. his changing. the love of his life) just to fix HER mistake#marvel why the hell do you hate loki huh why do you keep making him lose everything#idc sure his arc has changed but what does he get? what's his reward? doesn't he deserve something too in the end? yes he fucking does#loki: i dont want a throne i want my friends back#writers: ok here's a throne where you're lonely asf and are at risk to end up like HWR who's been isolated for so long too#also fuck your friends and your lover#LIKE?!?!?!?!?!?!?#(if anyone wants to chat i beg of you please dont hesitate)#tag talk#loki tv show#loki tv series#loki tv#loki season 2#loki series#loki show#loki season two#lokius#mobius x loki#loki x mobius#anti sylki#not really anti HER but it was so unfair
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Hi guys, this is usually what a doodle page ends up looking like <3 (oh, and @ancha-aus thought you might like this! Not writing but certainly fuel to my fire lol-)
This one is New Age filled!!! (Close-ups abd Lore beneath the cut!)
1) Night and Cross!
Night is actually very clingy once he's a teen. He doesn't usually realize it, but around the castle he'll snake to be closer to his Knights so long as there's no one he needs to keep his composure infront of is nearby. Cross is the one who's not used to physical touch (when it's not Ink ofc) so Night in his personal bubble makes his heart melt but also scares tf out of him <3
2) Error and Night's Meeting!
Error was carrying his whole life on his back and trying not to get arrested for unintentional property damage at this point, so when he saw the chance to get back at his brother and prove he was strong enough? Yeah, he got that on chance instantly. And was VERY smug when Nightmare chose him. (Also, Error is wearing gloves, so less Haphephobia)
3) Dream and Blue designs!
I think these are good tentative designs! Dream probably has a more regal fit, but he likes to play up that rugged exile look- He's inspired by Archers, while Blue takes on that classic Knightly-vibe. Their equipment is mostly stolen from Night's troops or brought with them from Blue's home kingdom.
Also, Dream is approx Killer's height at this point, shorter than Cross and *much* shorter than Apple!Nightmare. (Hc that Skeletons tend to be tinier in stature thanks to weird monster beauty standards. Horror and Geno's fam are outliers.)
4) Horror and Dust designs!
Horror is naturally a very *large* monster. He's very malnourished when Nightmare meets him, but by the time he's a Knight Nightmare has made sure that's no longer the case. He actually loves comfy, simple clothes, but to play up the whole 'strong mysterious' bit he wears a more barbaric Knight's garb. He doesn't mind acting scary, it's more fun that way :]. Dust is very very small, and envies horror sometimes for his size, but his tiny stature let's him control his body and move a lot quicker. He's very much based on a rogue, and usually covers the lower part of his face w/ a black cloth, and the upper part w/ his hood or mask. Dust only removes both to bathe, eat, or relax in a safe location. (Ignore that I can't draw the stupid gaster blaster lmao-)
These last two were space-fillers, but Cross and his Borzoi (Windmill, otherwise known as Milly (Killer named her-)) and really bad first wips of Ccino! I think Ccino was a chubby, happy toddler, but lost a lot of 'weight' (bone mass? Magic?) due to stress and pressure and bad eating habits. So it isn't until a while after the Coronation that he starts to relax abd feel safe enough to eat normal meals (Nightmare used to guilt him into eating snacks together, but as his boss (and younger brother) he can encourage it more often). By the time Killer shows he's still not quite healthy, but he's better. As more weight is lifted off his shoulders, the better he is. (That 'beauty' most people saw was a more stereotypical slimness, but Killer never stopped seeing Ccino as beautiful-) I think he never looked traditionally underweight, so no one noticed, and it was only much later that Night processed it. (And maybe it's why Dream hardly recognized him later on-)
#new age au#I love showing mundane life things-#and also these designs beamed into my brain#I can't draw Ccino for anything but the others? yeag#Blue is definitely my fave. and just like every au I will draw Blue perfect the first time and draw Dust 6 billion times 😔#Horror is kinda banger too tho#makes me laugh to imagine Horror picking up Dust mid-fight out of convenience and Dust weighs nothing to him#(also this size difference is exactly why Dust and Horror fight in the non-magic training. and why Horror accidentally obliterated his#shoulder later on lmao- Dust needs to be able to dodge any enemy. Horror needs to aim for small and quick targets.)#(Meanwhile Cross is the newest and Killer the oldest and if Cross adapts to Killer then he'll adapt to the others more easily.)#oh! and Ccino w/ his arc? I think I really like the idea of a Ccino with a plump body-type. but that conflicts with my vidion of Ccino kinda#losing track of eating and being co-erced by adults to skip meals just enough to make him the 'right amount' of curvy#so when Nightmare takes over it's a habit he's so used to he hardly notices that he's doing it. but. Night picks up on it because Ccino is#almost akways with him. their relationship is very much Ccino giving his life to help Night#but it's also Night recognizing that and giving it back to Ccino along with more the moment he can#just smth smth this au is full of fit and exercized people and I think Ccino deserves some comfort and healing and positivity <3#also I am SO fond of Nightmare getting up in people's bubbles. he does it most to Killer and Ccino for obvious reasons but#god forbid a noble be talking behind his back because he *will* twist around and shove under his knight's arms or sides just to#read them the riot act or stare them down <3#and I think when he was an adult Night was... kinda like the big brother? like. not an experienced one by any means. but he wasn't *not*#affectionate then either. he was better at being serious about it and more discreet. but like#Nervous Cross escorting him in public? Night nudges his shoulder briefly with a Tendril to try and comfort him. Dust having a magic overload#? personal Training against just Night so there was no risk of harming anyone else. then snacks and tea after.#Horror is homesick? Woah look at that a scheduled trip back to visit with Crop and side-track back to Horror's village? huh?? wild...#Killer upset at all? Night will find a solution. just you wait. a cat. two cats. perhaps even a cat in a little sweater? or y'know. just a#chat or a combat?#Nightmare showed his affections but was just more distant about it.#Oh also. all four were used to tendrils lifting/tugging them subconsciously. usually during trainings to avoid them hurting eachother by#mistake in their early days. Killer misses it sometimes
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Seeing Marina gush to Penelope about how, in her dreams for the future and her marriage to Colin, she envisions not only Penelope still being in her life but also being happy and side by side with Eloise, her best friend. Just genuinely her viewing them as a pair. It just makes the betrayal she faced hurt so much more.
#bridgerton#shonda always gonna do her black & brown leads dirty in favor of her yte characters huh?#like grey's anatomy is not too far from her mind#funny how marina saw her future with pen in it but pen is the opposite 🤔#like yeah marina should have been honest witj colin from the jump and not try to baby trap him#even if i understand her reasons#but colin literally states that he still would have been there for her & even came back to see her#they had potential and im tired of some yall disrespecting this black woman and acting like it wasn't there#pen def could have told colin privately she just didn't want to risk the possibility that he might still move forward#no matter what anyone says marina was done dirty#also marina being one of the only person in her family to genuinely care about pen only to be dropped and cast aside 😒#marina thompson#anti penelope featherington
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speaking of jareth and also once upon a witchlight, I love how blatantly the king of hearts is introduced crotch first as an expy/homage to him. too iconique a design and character to pass up, this was undoubtedly the correct decision. (also still reeling with delight from kremy 'born opportunist' lecroux asking him to have a threesome with him and his husband. no notes, perfect. you miss a hundred percent of the shots at hot morally amiguous arch fey you do not take. shut up gricko I'm trying to pull here)
#the fact that he actually asked him about the unicorn at some personal risk too however obliquely... kremy really does love unicorns huh#it's gideon coal unicorns and his meemaw anything else is uh open for debate I think lol#the character dynamics in their talk with him were Immaculate. flustered gid kremy trying to be smooth torbek... torbeking#gricko DEEPLY unimpressed. why do people always go for domineering assholes asks local dad goblin in exasperation#once upon a witchlight#legends of avantris#the king of hearts
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carlo's inherent tragedy as a character means that if he hadn't died young he would've gone through something worse. the horrifying realization that he inherited his father's personality <3
#lies of p#geppetto is over and over mentioned and shown to be a very stubborn man.#and the little we see of carlo.... it works.... he was in fact kind of a bull-headed little brat.#and everyone knows how much parents with strong personalities ~loooooooove~ when their kids. get it from them.#i'm not ragging on carlo. the basis of personality that is inherited is not the sole defining factor in what a person is like--#--and what is developed & changed by one's experiences would make them very different people still.#THAT SAID: i do think carlo achieving his little dream of being The Best Stalker In The World WOULD put him at risk of.#going down the same path his dear old man did :^)#there's something about being at the top of your field and what being the unquestioned authority in all that pertains to it can--#--very easily make one close-minded and set in their ways. it's probably what happened with geppetto.#i mean if my timeline is right he fucked with venigni's grand covenant long before he needed to enact mass murder to resurrect his son.#which to me speaks of him considering only himself as a trustworthy authority for a long time.#the tags in these posts really are the main feature now huh. sorry about that i just like talking here better.👍its like a secret post.#anyway. LOVE YOU DEAD BOY
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i'm so sorry i called gracie abrams a nepo baby. secret of us is so good i'm inclined to believe she has never been related to anyone ever.
#gracie abrams#vaguely on topic of pop girlies#i always liked 'i should hate you' but my gf played some more gracie for me and i was like huh this is decent#then listened to secret of us and was v pleasantly surprised#i'm playing risk on loop#also she's jewish so gets points for that from me haha
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Ghost Rider #13 - "My Brother's Keeper" (2023)
written by Benjamin Percy art by Cory Smith, Oren Junior, & Bryan Valenza
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Lord take all of Rubina’s pain and double it and give it to Twitter stans + THAT production member
#bb26#risking criminal charges to impress a bunch of teenagers online like huh???#I feel horrible for Tucker and Rubina and I hope they sue#some of the most insane parasocial behavior we’ve seen on BB#get her far the fuck away from this show and these fans
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Yashiki: hey so i’d saved the Departed so does that mean the souls they devoured also back to salvation too?
Experience Inc:
#hey guys how about the souls the departed eat huh#how about them#yashiki did not risk his life to save those soul just for them to become dinner ya know#huh maybe i should not forgive the departed#death mark game#death mark#death mark 2#spirit hunter death mark#what happen to them#shiin#death mark spoiler#shibito magire#yashiki kazuo#death mark yashiki#death mark meme
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s2 episode 6 thoughts
sighs as if i just ran a marathon.
so, you know i take a LOT of notes. but this episode was SUCH a ride that i'm gonna try a new method of copying all this down. stick with me and let's see how it goes.
okay here we are. back after our brief and sorrow-filled separation yesterday, in which i had no time to watch an episode. it’s Scully hours. hopefully.
first thing we see is mulder walking into his place in the rain. first thing i do is pause and see if i can analyze the art on his walls. they’re some sort of prints of houses? not noticing anything in particular in terms of style or artist. and it’s definitely a new place where he lives, rip the sleep couch from s1
he takes off his jacket and listens to the message she left him and oh fuck. oh fuck. her voice. the sound of duane yelling. shattering glass.
he goes to her house and sees blood and the open window!!!! the TERROR that man must have been feeling. and he uses that FBI id to sneak right in there.
now he’s prowling about her house in search of clues and looking at her blood and hair left behind which is fucked up, even by my standards
it was at this point i wrote "he’s like a bloodhound" which is a statement i stand by and can elaborate on if prompted
OH! we see a familiar face. he meets scully's mom. while his hands are soaked in her daughter’s blood. that's okay that's fine (said in a shaking and squeaky voice).
THE OPENING SAID SOMETHING DIFFERENT: DENY EVERYTHING. WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
(at this point i made a note expressing concern that we were gonna watch scully get tortured for 45 minutes straight and thank god that isn't what actually went down. because i would have been deeply upset if that had happened and would have launched upon an unstoppable rant for the next few generations)
scully's mom dreamed about her being taken away and Mulder WRAPS HIS ARMS AROUND HER. again. while still covered in her blood. what a way to meet her family. not how anyone had pictured this going down.
so it's the next morning and alex is in this meeting while mulder is having a come apart. don’t wish him to be here. and no, alex does not get the respect of being referred to by his last name like a good agent on MY account where i make the rules and the rules are that he sucks.
when rationalizing what duane is going through, skinner said “so he’s following orders from the alien voices in his head? That’s an interesting spin on the Nuremberg defense” and yeah! i chuckled. was he wrong there?
skinner made me laugh with that little remark but then went back to pissing me off by telling mulder he was too close to the case and needed to go home. like yes, he’s right, but mulder's gonna put his bloodhound skills to destructive purposes. he's gonna rip up the couch if left home alone. in a dog metaphorical sense.
so alex takes him home which was bad enough (alex must know where mulder lives to do that) and we see CIGARETTE MAN IN THE BACKGROUND????? my original notes had a lot stronger language at this reveal that i felt i needed to tone down but i will keep the "i'll have ur head im sooo serious" part in
okay, back to duane cam. he’s cruising. he cranks his window down when he’s pulled over which is still funny to me. crank windows. how novel. but don't think i've forgotten the situation at hand just because 90's technology is funny to me.
a cop pulls him over and i felt a flicker of hope inside my chest but i knew deep down it was still too early in the episode for anything to be resolved. still, duane pulling out his gun and SHOOTING the cop made my jaw drop
(my jaw kept dropping this episode to an extent that was painful. i just got my wisdom teeth out and while i love enjoying this show, the constant twists and turns are NOT leading to a pleasant mouth experience)
SCULLY IN THE TRUNK REVEAL? <- that was all i wrote when i saw here in there. i feel it sums up the situation.
mulder, somehow, taps into where she's located and gets a visual on her. he is intensely effected and this is why i support his bloodhound-like tendencies being channeled. the man gets results.
alex, don’t ask how he slept. you are a rat and should be banished from his presence during his state of mourning and forever after.
mulder: doesn't route 229 lead to the blue ridge parkway?
alex: I don’t know <- okay lmao I get that. i get that alex. like directions are hard. you haven't won me over but you did make me laugh here.
mulder figured out where they’re going and says GET THE CAR ALEX and that “he’ll deal with skinner���. ohhh i wanna see this furious mulder deal with skinner. OHHHH i'm so on the edge of my seat this sleep deprived man is gonna <- didn't even finish that sentence due to the next reveal
WHO THE HELL IS ALEX TALKING TO ABOUT “HOLDING HIM OFF” WHY IS CIGGY MAN HERE (can you hear the desperation in all of the notes i was taking. also i don't know his name and i don't care. that's cigarette man or ciggy man if i need to use shorthand and his government name is probably "rat bastard" but i don't care enough to use it)
mulder was, at this point, falling asleep and almost hitting a truck but insisting he can still drive. wild. on the one hand, i get it, because alex is probably gonna drive them off the road and something, but then on the other hand buddy. u almost got plowed in the negative context. someone fetch him a red bull
(and yeah i googled "red bull origins" to see if that would have been possible at the time for mulder to have a sip and can confirm it would have been IF he had gotten it imported from another country. because it wasn't in the us yet. i am a scholar)
alex is listing how many awful things are caused by sleep deprivation. which i understand and again, a good argument to be made, but this grease weasel just wants to get behind the wheel so he can total the thing and i'm not having it
(he said some like after this and it was just “there’s our turn off” but my hatred for him reached a crescendo at this point like I could have started pummeling)
so they get to the place on the mountain that takes you up- the ski lift thingy. and the guy who works it is like "you can't use it, we don't test it in the summer" and wow. when i tell you what happens next, i hope you are seated. because i had to pause and breathe for a bit.
MULDER PULLS HIS GUN OUT AND THREATENS THE DUDE WHO SAYS HE CAN’T TAKE THE CABLE SKI THINGY UP OHHHHH MY GAWDDDDD
so he gets access to the lift thingy and he locked alex out… yes exactly right!
the lift operator is like "don't go over 15 miles per hour" and we all know what mulder is gonna do next. he cranks it up way too fast and he’s gonna fall into the mountain and i’m looking around my room like what is going on here. the cuts to Alex’s snaky eyes are freaking me tf out. Why is alex reaching for his gun. WHAT THE FUCK WHY FID HE KNOCK THAT GIY OUT HE CIT THE GENERATOR AND LEFT MULDER UP THERE WHO IS HE CALLONH
(<- leaving that one verbatim from my notes, too, because i feel it really captures the experience, if you can work out those typos. basically alex took his gun out and knocked the lift operator out, leaving mulder stranded on the ski lift in the sky, then called someone like "i've got him trapped" and i. was experiencing all of this very quickly.)
scully cam. she’s still in the trunk.
so the power's cut on the ski lift and mulder is not gonna just sit around and wait for somebody to help him! he's climbing up the tower and once he’s up there ALEX TURNS THE MACHINE BACK ON SERIOUSLY WHAT IS GOING ON
mulder survives the journey to the mountain's peak, despite almost falling off because he was hanging from outside!! and alex looks soooooooooooo mad.
sad man in the rain finds a car with blood in the wheel and...
HER NECKLACE IN THE BACK!!! AN EPISODE 3 CALL BACK!!! to when he knew eugene tooms was going after her because he found her necklace. oh i'm gonna be SICK
back to our worstie duane, who is in the woods screaming that they took her and that he’s free and I had to pause to breathe a lil. because if mulder lost scully and his sister to aliens......
after what was intended to be a commercial break and some wrestling on behalf of mulder, we see duane in custody, but receive no answers on what exactly is going on. he is, however, in a small room with mulder, who looks entirely diabolical.
mulder is stalking this guy- "stalking" in the sense that he is like a predator waiting for a chance to pounce on a rabbit- and he gets up and SEES SCULLY'S BLOOD AND HAIR ON DUANE'S HOSPITAL WRISTBAND???
next occurs what i described in my notes as the "DID YOU HURT HER SCREAMING AND TORTURE SESSION. JAW IS ON THE FLOOR" (my poor jaw. who will think of her in these trying times)
again, mulder is in his animal era, because he starts choking duane. REALLY choking him. i'm shocked. between this and the showing his gun to get to the top of the mountain, we are really seeing how he will throw all of the rules to the side and spit on them to keep the people he loves safe.
(i was also thinking to myself at this point, his ass is gonna get fired)
duane was taunting him, saying "i hope they’re not hurting her too much with the tests” which is. obviously evil. but HOW evil? it's still unclear if he is lying about the whole alien thing, because remember, scully said the bullet in his brain makes him a liar who is unpredictable. and i guess a bullet could maybe do that. i have no experience in such matters.
mulder says everyone STAY OUT OF THERE and yet. alex goes in to see duane. and is like "well i went in there because he was gagging". sure yeah. suspicious. why were you close enough to hear him gag? how do you know the sound of another man gagging, alex? heard it before?
okay this next part was. pretty messed up. i'll let my reactions from being in the moment speak for themselves because i have little desire to relive the matter:
SCULLY IN A WEIRD ASS ROOM???? THE ALIENS? What the hell I’m deeply uncomfortable are they blowing her up like a balloon. Oh I got chills. Negative
(i never want to see a character blown up like a balloon it's just not for me. i am always gonna be good on that front)
((who is blowing her up and why. i was convinced it was aliens at first but now i think it was actually the Evil Government which has me thinking, what kind of situation led them to developing that technology in the first place?))
mulder pulls alex out of the room “NO ONE is to interrogate the suspect” “except you?” “except me” <- mulder with a god complex because scully is missing and he will do ANYTHING to find her. oh yeah that's juicy. i'm gonna dive into that at a later date.
skinner yells at mulder. yeah he had it coming. even if i enjoy his character arc i do think choking your only suspect comes across as a bit. well. unprofessional, shall we say.
mulder is shocked that duane is gagging like he didn’t just choke the guy and he might have KILLED his own best lead and has to live with whatever knowledge duane had on her whereabouts dying with him
mulder staring at the corpse. cause of death: asphyxiation. oh he killed that dude. he is gonna be in trouble.
(that was my first thought, anyway. i wasn't picking up what mulder was putting down, requesting a toxicology report. to me, if you show a scene of a guy getting choked, and then he dies a few minutes later, it's another situation of "i don't know enough about medical stuff to dispute that". mulder, however, WILL dispute that)
next part is copied and pasted from the rough notes again because it's funny:
"alex go fuck yourself i don’t even wanna look at you. getting in the car with ciggy man. “what about scully?” “we’ve taken care of that” ARE YOU THE MFER BLOWING HER UP LIKE A BALLOON CIGGY MAN???? alex is questioning things but idgaf if he’s morally conflicted"
(i saw the seeds of an alex redemption arc being sown here and i didn't care for it. condemn him. to the dungeons.)
mulder’s super insistent that he did NOT kill duane and again i was like. well are you sure. because it kinda looks like you did.
they want him to take a lie detector test which always makes me cringe. if polygraphs have no haters its because i'm dead.
mulder believes that duane was actually poisoned by the government to hide Something and he presents this theory to skinner and his panel which was Bold but you know our boy mulder. bold is what he does.
“why are you so paranoid Mulder” asks some random guy from the council in an annoyed fashion << terribly insensitive thing to say to guy who just had his best friend kidnapped
“I find it hard to trust anybody” (cutscene to asking Alex for his keys) NAURRR YOU CANNOT TRUST THE WEASEL
alex gives him the keys and leaves with a long lingering stare. okay. freak.
mulder's going to the senator!!!! i was hoping we would get more info on that whole deal- why does this guy sponsor mulder? why does he do it if he knows it's a bad idea? how do they even know each other? is he a republican? - but we really don't gain any insight. he runs into Deep Throat 2.0, who I believe to be a handsome fellow, and he says that They will deny everything
who is they, i mumble quietly to the screen. why do they know all the things??
mulder is in visible and irreparable agony when getting in the car but he still has a funky tie on. despite the horrors his swag must persist.
GASP!! Mulder opens the car drawer and sees the cigarettes of famed ciggy man. alex is too pretty to smoke...
Mulder puts two and two together FAST and accuses alex of being a rat to skinner (which he’s right about!) he says he stands behind his accusation on the record and skinner tries to call alex up
(which was so funny to me because if he was a secret double agent- which he is- and mulder is accusing him of something adjacent to treason- what is a talk in skinner's office gonna do to solve the problem? again skinner is giving me high school principal energy. ur not gonna talk that one out babe but it's sweet you gave it a go xx)
mulder says that scully got too close to whatever the truth is when she had that little tracker thing and so they got her. i find myself agreeing with the guy who believes elvis faked his death. funny how he's often the level headed one
skinner, to my surprise, is taking this accusation of his agents being of the double variety quite well. he actually seems pretty reasonable about the whole thing, and like he truly believes there is some ulterior motives at play here.
but sympathy isn't enough for mulder: “What CAN you do” he asks Skinner, thrusting a finger in his face. “There’s only one thing I can do,” skinner sighs, and he... REOPENS THE X FILES?
(now this did shock me, but i was excited! don't get me wrong, i was just a bit surprised. i was thinking maybe he'd call up ciggy man and try to have a nice dignified chat since he seems so hell-bent on solving things through the power of discussion, but i suppose that reauthorizing the investigation into aliens while a top agent is missing for doing just that is. certainly an approach to the problem at hand?)
mulder walks sadly beneath a water fountain. it was sad enough as it was but then scully's mom walks up and things get even More sad
to somewhat break the air of tragedy: for some reason his face is crystal clear but hers is superrrrr blurry. like i've mentioned before, some shots are normal tv quality, and others look like they were ripped from a VHS. it throws me off each time.
but back to the matter at hand: he gives her scully’s cross necklace and he’s like "why did she wear that if she was such a skeptic" (which is a question i keep pointing out!!!!!!) and we learn the answer:
it was a gift from her mother on her 15th birthday. which i can and Will analyze in depth at a later date. the gift of a religious object to further solidify the need from her family to be Perfect and never fail and do exactly as they say. but scully choosing to wear it anyway, decades later, to hold her family close, no matter the pain of disappointing them. when she mindlessly reaches for the pendant to roll in her fingers, does she feel the warmth of family or the chill of their expectations she can never meet?
but. mulder tries to give her the necklace. and she says that he can give it to her when he finds her. not if. when.
he goes to a hill and looks up at the sky.
this episode was intense, and i will be gnawing on it like a bone for a while. seeing mulder and scully's mom together made me incredibly emo. seeing him break all the rules to find her also made me emo. trying to figure out if skinner is a real one and the ratio to which alex is genuinely evil vs just stupid were some serious cases of mental chess. and duane. we all wanna know what his deal is. and where is alex! he doesn't have to come back, don't get me wrong, but... did he fall off the face of the earth? go back to massachusetts for a dunkin run? i know that smug new englander look he has about him. don't sit here and tell me he grew up in kansas i won't buy it.
anyway, i saw the description of the next episode- so we're going back to an x file. i find it hard to imagine that mulder will have emerged from bloodhound mode by then, so maybe he thinks it's connected somehow and will go on a quest for answers in that direction- a vampire direction? hmm. guess i'll just have to tune back in!
#this episode was HARROWING and i spent a long time taking notes and then typing them up#usually i take notes on my phone and then make them legible on my laptop but today i just copied and pasted them from my phone#hence the more intense bouts of incorrect spelling and emotional outbursts#because they were happening in Real Time!#anyway. whew! man. need a beach episode to make up for that. or a zoo episode. you know how i feel on that matter.#now i'm gonna once again have to go to work and be like “who has scully??!?!?” and just do my job and not know!#i wonder if this was always the plan or if gillian anderson was written off for a few episodes for an irl reason#sidenote i ran across her instagram the other day and i was like. huh. i know i'll find spoilers if i look so i didn't.#but i read she played MARGARET THATCHER in the crown??? THAT WAS HER??#wow. the range she has.#can't wait to learn the actor's lore when i'm deeper but for now everything is a Spoiler Risk#juni's x files liveblog#the x files#txf
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