#but that’s pretty obvious isn’t it lolol
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carnivorousyandeere · 9 months ago
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Using a yan as an ashtray, blowing cigar smoke on their face
(im insane)
Gods, that’s such a classic. Love it 😩🤌✨
There’s a few yans I could see being especially into this (Jordi, Spirit of the Roads, Clay, Dew), but my favorite to think about in this scenario would have to be Sammy— your giant, intimidating self-appointed bodyguard kneeling for you and sticking out his tongue whenever you move to flick ash away from your cig or blunt. He doesn’t say anything either, just looks at you pleadingly if he doesn’t think you’ll do it or letting his eyes flutter shut expectantly if he’s confident you will. You’d probably have to fuss at him not to do it in public too, unless you want everybody knowing what kind of relationship the two of you really have. He’s got no shame— the question is, do you?
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daiziesssart · 7 months ago
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a humiliatingly long character analysis of lily evans
Someone sent me an ask that briefly mentioned how misunderstood Lily is, and before I knew it I was typing out this monster. I am. sorry. This is literally just me rambling about her, what I find compelling about her character, and why her character is so often misunderstood.
This is long as hell so I'm putting it under a read more lolol
Part of the reason I like Lily so much (other than my being ginger and projecting onto any redheaded female character I see) is that even though she isn’t explored as much as her other Marauders Era counterparts, we know enough about her to start building the framework for her character. And what I see is a girl who was incredibly interesting, kind, and flawed.
One thing I always think about in regards to Lily is that she was dealt with a pretty unfair hand. As soon as she receives her letter, she’s basically torn between two worlds, both of which have been less than welcome to her. On one hand, we have the muggle world that she’s known all her life, but once she starts integrating into the wizarding world, she likely feels a bit of a disconnect with that world. To twist the knife further, her sister- whom she loved dearly and grew up so close with- starts outwardly resenting her with such unbridled hostility that they likely couldn’t even be in a room alone together without major conflict. 
On the other hand, we have the wizarding world– a world she’s not as familiar with and one she soon learns holds a demographic of people who hate everything she is and would rather see her excommunicated or even dead. And even though finding out you’re a witch/wizard is probably such an exciting and life-changing moment, I can’t help but also take note of the difficulties, especially if you’re the only one in your family with magic. You’re essentially uprooted from the only way of life you’ve known at an already complicated age, and now you have to quickly become acclimated to this new world that you only just found out existed. Not only that, but now you’re suddenly attending a school with classes that are primarily focused on this world of magic (which is still brand new to you), and you have to work extra hard to play catch up in order to do well. Like, that all seems like… a lot for a kid to handle.
And then I remember how young she was when she was thrown into that mess. She was only 11, and kids that age desperately crave any sense of belonging. I mean, that’s something that still holds true for adults, but it’s especially critical for a developing child. So imagine Lily, ages 11-15, struggling to stay afloat in this weird purgatory between these two parts of herself, both of which have been the cause for major and traumatic experiences relating to rejection in her life.
(I say it was the “cause�� even though it’s obvious that those things were never her fault at all, but when you’re a young kid navigating the world, the only thing you’re able to process is that the common denominator is you, therefore you’re the one who must shoulder the blame.)
So now we have this tween-teenaged girl who has a dysfunctional relationship with two major parts of identity and probably feels absolutely lost. 
This is why her hesitancy to end her friendship with Snape makes sense to me. Even though by fifth year he’s already well past toeing the line with the dark arts, Lily was willing to overlook some pretty egregious and troubling things in order to maintain the relationship. I kind of interpret that as her way of desperately clinging on to any sense of belonging she has left; her relationship with Petunia has already been poisoned, and now there are people who resent her existence as a witch; if she loses Severus too, what and who else does she have? And what tone does that set for her, if everyone and everything she’s come to hold close to her ends up turning her away?
It’s also important to note that not only is Severus one of her few remaining connections to the muggle world, but he’s also a wizard who grew up in the muggle world; he understands her, and I don’t doubt that he gave her some stability at times when she needed it (her finding out about her being a witch, her having trouble acclimating to the wizarding world, etc).
I see this as being one of her flaws and I can actually appreciate how relatable and realistic it feels. Lily is not a bad person; on the contrary, you’d be hard pressed to find anyone to describe her as such. Not to get all clinical and boring, but the interesting thing about (unhealthy) coping mechanisms is that it can actually be really hard to identify them in your own behavior. Unless you’re in therapy and/or are actively psychoanalyzing yourself, you likely don’t even realize how many of your common behaviors are born from self defense mechanisms put in place by your brain after past events.
To me, it makes sense why she avoided actually confronting the idea that Snape was too far gone. We know that she was aware of the path Severus was taking, but it almost seems like she was still convinced that she could save him, and could possibly steer him back in the right direction. It’s only when she becomes the target of his bigotry that she realizes that the Snape who called her a ‘mudblood’ was not the same Severus who was the one who held her hand and introduced her to this new, exciting world.
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In a general sense, yes, it is selfish, to only take a stand when something starts affecting you personally. But I also think it’s important to note that it’s unlikely that this was a conscious decision on Lily’s part. In my eyes, it was easier to delude herself into thinking she still had a chance to save him before it was too late when she was able to separate him from his actions (considering, a lot of the time, she was only hearing about them after the fact, rather than seeing them firsthand). But the elusion is shattered once she sees that the Snape she grew up with– her friend, Severus– is, in fact, the same person who’s out there calling other students slurs, dismissing the malicious use of Dark Magic on others as just “a laugh”. There we see a Lily who is actually revealed to have been somewhat aware of Snape’s involvement with the darker side of magic, and genuinely feels pretty ashamed about her inaction.
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Also, this is in no way me being a Snape-anti, and I actually could do an entire separate analysis on his character alone and why I find him so interesting.
Anyways, that moment in SWM is probably somewhat of an epiphany to her. It’s like a dam that’s been broken, and now she’s overwhelmed with the realization of exactly how much she overlooked in order to keep their friendship afloat. And for someone like Lily Evans, someone whom we know is opinionated and unafraid to call others out on their bullshit, that can be hard to swallow and feel pretty mortifying and shameful. And I think this was a huge turning point for her- at that point, she doesn’t have the luxury of avoiding uncomfortable truths anymore and now that she’s getting closer to graduating and being thrown out into the world on the brink of war, this was probably a really sobering discovery.
This is where we don’t have as much info to go off of, and a lot of it is up to interpretation. But we actually have little crumbs to go off of following her graduation and leading up to her death.
One of my favorite little tidbits isn’t in the books, and @seriousbrat's post reminded me about it. Here's the actual entry on Pottermore for anyone who's interested, but I'll summarize: after James and Lily began dating, Lily brings James to meet newly engaged Petunia and Vernon. Everything goes downhill, because Vernon is a smarmy asshole, and James is still pretty immature and can’t help but mess with him (which… fair, I guess). Petunia and Vernon storm out after Petunia letting Lily know that she had no intentions of having her as a bridesmaid, which causes Lily to break down into tears. I mention this because I also think it’s a pretty important aspect of her character; like we’ve seen in her past friendship with Snape, Lily seems more than willing to forgive others most of the time. Petunia is a bit of a complicated character herself, but she was objectively very cruel and unfair to Lily once it became obvious that she was a witch and Petunia was not.
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Something that always stands out to me is just how desperate Lily is to earn Petunia’s trust and approval again. Even up until her death, she was more than willing to mend the relationship, were Petunia ever to consider. 
This is a detail about Lily that I feel is misunderstood quite a bit. I’ve seen a lot of instances of her character being reduced to a one-dimensional archetype with little to no complexity. And often, that archetype is “know-it-all, prudish, self righteous bookworm who is also a goody two-shoes with a stick up her ass”. What annoys me is that the reason for this is most definitely the scene in which she blows up at James in SWM for bullying Snape, and hurls quite a few insults at him directly after an extremely devastating and overwhelming situation for her. This frustrates me because we know for a fact that she’s the polar opposite of this archetype I’ve seen her reduced to. 
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In actuality, she’s referred to as popular, charming, witty, bright and kind. From flashbacks we also are shown that she’s opinionated, bold, and not afraid to challenge others. With other context, like her interpersonal relationships, we can also see that she’s pretty emotionally driven and wears her heart on her sleeve. 
(I know Remus didn’t mention Lily much in the books, but I really love how he described her in the movies. He tells Harry that the first thing he noticed about him was not his striking resemblance to his father, but his eyes, the same eyes Lily had. He also calls her a “singularly gifted witch” and an “uncommonly kind woman”.
“She had a way of seeing the beauty in others, even and perhaps most especially, when that person could not see it in themselves.”
I know there are mixed feelings on whether or not the films count as canon source material, so take it with a grain of salt, but I personally cannot see a world in which Lily and Remus didn’t become close friends.)
Here we have a direct description of what she was like and who she was, corroborated by recounting of memories of her, and yet for some reason, this feels like the thing that is most commonly lost in translation.
I don’t think I can say why I think that is without mentioning the dreaded M word (misogyny- it’s misogyny), but I also don’t want to get too off topic so I’ll be brief: female characters are typically not given the same grace as male characters. When we have an undeveloped male character, he’s awarded the assumption that despite his lack of depth, there still exists a complex and multifaceted character– it’s merely just potential that hasn’t been tapped into. Whereas when we have underdeveloped female characters, they are taken at face value, meaning that not much exists beyond the little information we have of them. They are not presumed to have a life or a story that exists beyond the surface of what we know like male characters are. That’s why I think characters like Regulus, Evan, or Barty (just to name a few) are more popular than Lily, despite being less developed than she is.
(Before anyone gets defensive, no, I don’t think it’s an individual problem that you alone need to be shamed for. I think it’s the result of a deeper issue regarding misogyny in media as a concept; these are things that we’ve all unknowingly internalized and while it’s not our fault, we still have to do the work to deconstruct those learned prejudices.)
What I find really cool about her character is that despite how much she’s been hurt, she’s also still known as one of the most loving, kind, and considerate characters. There were so many times in her life where the love she received was conditional and ripped away from her– and I think that’s what makes her sacrifice even more poignant. She was able to protect her infant son from an extremely powerful dark wizard, wand-less, knowing that her husband was just murdered in cold blood, just from how much love she felt for Harry. Her love was a force of nature on its own, and I just think that’s such an amazing thing about her. 
I know I’m biased, given that she’s one of my favorite characters, but even upon delving into this, I still just find it so incredibly hard to understand how anyone can actively hate her (not indifference, but actual dislike). In my opinion (again, no one is unbiased, and she is a favorite character of mine, but trust me when I say that I’m trying to be objective as possible when I say this), she’s probably one of the most likable characters of the Marauders Era. I think perhaps a lot of people haven’t given her a chance or really taken the time to learn about her character, but it could be a myriad of other reasons that I’ll never understand. 
There's so much more I could say but this is long enough and I will stop myself
Lily Evans, u will always be famous to me
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nmakii · 10 days ago
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maki i beg you to write rin and s/o that also has sibling issues.. like not the "oh my sibling also left me lolol" issues like.. they're always gonna be in their sibling's shadow no matter what they do.. and their sibling absolutely hates their guts.. please..
I THINK I’VE SEEN THIS FILM BEFORE
— rin itoshi x reader with sibling issues
on behalf of older siblings, i side with sae :x
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— rin itoshi
rins having one of those moments where he’s rethinking everything,,, like, he starts rethinking all about the times he’s been harsh to you. lowk start feeling bad :x
he’d try to be nicer. keyword: try. if you’re doing something braindead stupid, hes still gonna call you out hahaha
he’ll be more encouraging—ish… whenever you’re half-assing something (like example studies…), he wont be as harsh as he is with like bachira and the top 3… he’d go like “cmon… you know how to solve this. …do you need a hint..?”
and if on the very un-rare occasion, you do something that pisses him off, he would… do nothing! i know, shocking. he lobs u after all <3
this is only like… 1/4 because he feels bad for you and how your family’s treated you, and 3/4 because he wants to become the person he wanted sae to be.
hehe its actually pretty healing for the both of you. sometimes if the atmosphere is light and kind enough, you might even get him to smile a little bit :x <3
12:45. and you and rin were still up, studying for your math exam tomorrow.
“ugh..! i cant do it, rin. i don’t get it! y’know what? ill just fail..!” you frown, head in your hands. rin sighs. he really wanted to go to sleep, but he promised you that he’d help you prepare, and he has to follow through.
“d—ugh… dont be negative. i know you’ll be able to pass.” he pats you on the head. “do you wanna… review the concepts one more time, and solve one more problem before bed? i can help you study one more time in the library, okay?” he offered.
“mm… i need a breakkk..!” you groan. a break would mean having to stay up later… “i… fine… i need a break too…” rin groans. “..! what the hell does that mean..?!” you lash out at him, face pouty with a frown.
“…im joking. but, i am getting tired…” he says. he takes note of your guilty face. “i… sorry for keeping you up, rin… after this, you can sleep…”
fuck.
that face was making him feel guilty. “i didn’t mean it like that. im just saying its late, and you need to sleep early if you want your brain functioning.” he rested his hand on your shoulder. “cmon, let’s take a five-minute break and get back to this. okay?”
you nodded.
1:36. you were finally done, and much more confident than you were an hour ago. “yes, i got it!” you cheered. rin’s lips curled up at your enthusiasm. “it’s late now. get plenty of rest, okay? don’t panic, and just do your best.” he says.
you look at him like a child at their new pet; full of adoration and affection. you quickly ambush him with a tight hug, causing rin to wheeze out, the air in his lungs being kicked out in an instant. “ack..! ghh..! l..let me go…” rin heaves.
eventually, you do let go, choosing to move to a looser hug around his neck. “thank you, rin…” you smile. something in your gratitude stirs rin’s heart. as if the past was gone, and all that was left was the future.
“i..it’s no problem, okay? just go rest already, you need sleep…” his words and body language conflicting; his words pushing you away, and his hands pulling you closer as his lips find the crown of your head. he reluctantly lets you go sooner or later and helps you to clean up the various papers and textbooks.
as rin puts away his belongings, you cuddle up with him. “my favorite private tutor…” you snicker. rin rolls his eyes. “private tutor? that implies im getting paid to do this for you…” he frowns. “what?! my payment is my love for you..! isn’t that enough..?!” you argue back.
rin tried to hide the laugh that comes from his throat, but it’s quite obvious from the smile on his face. “…fine, i guess so. but, a little more loving wouldn’t hurt either.”
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mister-mickey · 1 year ago
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Sexuality headcanons
(Does not have anything to do with the ship hcs, these are my personal hcs. It’s more related to the twitter au but even then it’s not 100% the same)
Experience doesn’t necessarily mean sex, just like dating and such
Darry
- Cis and gay lol
- He likes guys that fight (Paul, tim)
- That’s why he liked football so much lolol
- Despite this he doesn’t have a lot of experience with other guys because he only dated girls in highschool
Soda
- Bisexual ofc. Also cis but very connected to fem side
- His type is uhh. Mean ppl. He hates to admit it though and makes excuses for his partner/crush
- “No Sandy isn’t cheating on me she just has lots of guy friends!” “Steve isn’t mean he’s just bitey!”
- Has experience with lots of different ppl because he’s so in demand so he’s good at flirting (charming handsome boy)
Pony
- Hm. Also bisexual because if taht obvious crush on cherry but also everyone else in the book lmao. Non-binary in a “I don’t give a fuck about my gender” way. Still he/him
- Doesn’t have a set type, it’s literally just anyone. He meets someone? Oh wow, new crush.
- It seems like he’s attracted to assholes, but it’s actually just because everyone around him is an asshole
- No experience, he’s 14 and kind of losery (I love him still, not pb hate)
Twobit
- Bisexual but leans towards girl, cis
- Canon that he likes blondes, so I bet he’s made out with dally at a party at least once.
- Marcia is an obvious exception to this and he doesn’t understand it. He jokes about her dying her hair blonde but he really does like her as is
- Lots of experience I’m sure. He’s funny and charming, I’d be surprised if he didn’t
Dally
- Bisexual but leans toward guys, cis
- Likes people that kick his ass (tim, Sylvia) honestly his type is just people that see him for who he is
- Tim and Sylvia are his toxic exes that he keeps going back to. He hates it but they really are some of the only people that he feels understand him
- He’s Dallas, im pretty sure Ponyboy mentioned him having tons of flings so he’s got experience.
Steve
- Gay, and I read a really good fic where he was ftm and it rearranged my brain so he’s trans now
- His type is pretty boys (soda) he’s mostly only ever had a crush on soda so it’s not like he’s explored his type lol
- He dated evie because she was friends with Sandy and he wanted to double date with soda and Sandy so he could watch them the entire time (jealous mf)
- Zero experience, he refused to even kiss evie and he never had the guts to even look at other guys
Johnny
- Hm. Gay and cis, but he seriously questioned his gender for a bit because he didn’t have much of a self concept and he couldn’t imagine himself at all. He decided to stop thinking about it because it stressed him out
- His type is people that he thinks are better than him (Dallas, for being tuffer, pony, for being smarter) he thinks that being around cool people will make him feel better about himself
- It doesn’t work, but he still likes to do it. Anyway, pony and dally still make him feel better in other ways because they think he’s so cool
- No experience, nobody ever flirts with him (or even notices him) except for Sylvia that one time. He thinks he’s ugly but honestly he just needs to put himself out there
Tim
- Gay and ftm (projecting lolll) very few people know because he was really young when he transed. Like when he was like 4 and his parents were like “hm okay whatever we don’t care anyway.” Also itty bitty titty committee so he doesn’t even have to bind (jealous)
- His type is literally just tough guys. That’s why he dated dallas and why he likes darry. They’re both tough and good at fighting.
- also dated Sylvia but only to make dally mad (and he regretted it because he realized immediately afterwards that he was definitely gay. Sylvia thought it was funny)
- Lots of experience but only with select people (people he can trust)
Angela
- Bisexual but doesn’t realize it lol, cis
- She likes traditionally masculine guys and traditionally feminine girls. Idk why but she likes it. Tbf it’s the sixties she wouldn’t be exposed to many fem guys and masc girls. Maybe she had a crush on Sylvia
- Dated bryon and actually really liked him for a bit. She broke up with him for pb but regretted it lmao.
- Bryon was her first bf so no real experience. Also tim chases any possible beaus away so she’s real unlucky
Curly
- Gay and cis, but too stupid to realize that he’s gay
- His type is any man ever. (Saw tuffponyboy’s post about how curly likes dally, bryon, and Sodapop and I committed it to my belief system)
- But he also likes pony. Maybe he even realizes and is like “omg I’m a homosexual 😧” and he doesn’t realize that everyone around him is also gay and wouldn’t judge him.
- Zero experience, gets no bitches, loser. Also he’s fifteen and he cares more about fighting than smooching
Mark
- Aromantic, asexual and ftm. Idk I feel like it fits him.
- Honestly he cares more about his friends and family than anything else. He literally sold drugs ti support his family (look where that got him)
- Has dated girls before but he hated it so much. Even tried kissing a guy at a party but decided that everyone else was crazy for enjoying this stuff
- A little bit of experience from before he decided that it all just wasn’t for him
Bryon
- Bisexual and cis
- His type is shorter than him (he likes to be tall and feel strong)
- He dated angela and Cathy, but he kissed curly at a party once (claimed it was because he was drunk and curly looks like angela but it’s not true he just thought curly was a cutie (even he’s super annoying))
- He mentioned being a ladies man so yeah he’s got experience.
Cathy
- Straight and cis, but a mega ally !!
- Her type is thoughtful and also big muscles
- She really thought bryon was perfect until he had his, err, mental breakdown and flipped out. It really hurt and she was so worried about him but he shut her out for months so she ended up moving on.
- Pretty sure bryon was her first bf? But she got with pb so she’s got a little bit of experience now
M&M
- I think gay and nb, and he doesn’t care about pronouns at all. He’s nonchalant like that
- Had a crush on mark lol. And Randy. He doesn’t date anyone because the only person he’s come out to is Cathy
- He thinks curly jumps him because he’s gay. Doesn’t realize its because he’s a hippie (curly is stupid but not homophobic)
- No experience, he’s like 13 and has never ever dated. Maybe he’s danced with someone at a school dance but he has no charm
Cherry
- Cishet ally
- Her type is canonly jerks. Very funny miss cherry.
- She dated bob, liked dally, in the series she liked Tim too. Why is she like this 💔
- A bit of experience, she dated bob after all.
Bob
- Bisexual in a homophobic way, cis
- Type is attractive rich people. He would never be attracted to a greaser, he’d rather jump off a cliff
- Dated cherry, likes Randy. He wants a very traditional future with a spouse and two children and he doesn’t think he can get that with a poor person for whatever reason. He also wants to be the “man” in the relationship.
- Lots of experience because he’s a whore I think. Flirts with most any rich person.
Marcia
- Cishet, doesn’t know that gay people are actually real. (When cherry told her she thought it was a joke)
- Type is funny lol. That’s why she likes twobit. I guess that means Randy is somewhat funny
- She actually isn’t that funny herself, she just likes to laugh.
- Very little experience. Randy was her first bf
Randy
- Gay and cis
- He likes bob. That’s it !
- He legit isn’t attracted to anyone else. After bob died he changed his entire ideology and became a hippie !! He was down bad. He doesn’t give a fuck about Marcia she’s just a girl to him
- Only has experience with Marcia and it’s not really the experience he wants because he is bobsexual
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skoulsons · 1 year ago
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Baylan and Shin’s parting
The scene that has upset (me) or confused (also me) most people. A chunk of people, who I respectfully disagree with, have said that Baylan is “abandoning” Shin. While I agree she definitely feels abandoned, I do not believe that is or ever would be Baylan’s intention. I just don’t think it works.
There’s an obvious amount of care (love, you could say) in their relationship. They’re not your typical competitive Sith master / apprentice relationship or Jedi master / padawan where feelings like that were repressed. They’re not mercenaries who were put together for a job or purely for the selfish gain of power. Shin has been under his wing as his padawan, borderline his child, for a long time.
He’s very protective of her as we see most notably in episode 4 when he ‘kills’ Ahsoka because she threw Shin into a rock. That sort of protection that drives you to kill someone (I don’t believe his original intention was to kill her—it was that that set him off) doesn’t come from a lack of love or lack of a relationship.
Their first scene on Peridea is another to consider. They’re comfortable, open, and vulnerable. Shin’s tone when she says “I know no such stories (shoutout to the person who made that post about Baylan telling Shin stories about the Jedi when she was younger. i still think about you)” is a sarcastic tone, almost teasing. They both comfortably smile and are way more relaxed being around just each other. Shin asks him questions without fear and Baylan answers without hesitation.
So, no, I don’t believe he’s abandoning her.
Now, nothing is known for sure. What exactly does he hear? What exactly does he see? What vision does he have?
Hopefully we get that answer, but my (and maybe most of you) bigger concern is why part from Shin for a wasteland and some power (yes yes we know he wants the ‘beginning’ but that’s still kinda VAGUE)?
Again, don’t know the truth, just throwing out ideas. i cant wait to be wrong on every front and be completely humbled tuesday night lolol
For one, he’s sensed and understood her questions and doubts and is actually considering them. He’s recognizing “OK, she doesn’t see all that I do”. He isn’t saying “Nope, I’m forcing you to join me in this”. He’d be a jackass if he did that. Since he seems pretty sold on staying on Peridea for… whatever it is he believes is there, he’s letting her go so she can, in turn, find her footing and take her place in the coming empire. Yes, he doesn’t know if that’s even what she wants, but Shin hasn’t exactly told him what she would want. All she’s mentioned (I think) was about leaving Peridea since Thrawn is desperate to leave as well.
Either way, he’s considering her and letting her go her own way instead of forcing her into a future with him that she obviously isn’t interested in.
Two, Baylan actually knows a lot more than he’s letting on and sees something that is… dangerous. Something he doesn’t want Shin exposed to. Something he knows is dangerous and he’s trying to keep her from (so she doesn’t suffer the same fate as his last padawan—if it’s true, of course). This one seems more selfish than some other thoughts. It can even fit other fandoms—he’ll go into it guns blazing for himself despite its dangers, but not her.
Three, which is just a bit of a vaguer, rephrased Two, he can’t / doesn’t want to lose another padawan if he can help it.
“Oh, then why’d she even follow him to Peridea? Why’d Baylan even let her come if he was going to abandon her anyway?”
He’s her master. Of course she’s going to follow him. It’s the guy she’s known longer than anyone else in her life. Her master, her father figure. Why wouldn’t she follow him? Why wouldn’t she stick it out for him? And, again, don’t believe at all that it’s abandonment or even something that was planned. It seemed very spur of the moment—like an off screen decision being made in Baylan’s head. Parting from her wasn’t something on his bucket list he was waiting to check off.
Fourth, the “ambition” that Baylan said was driving Shin is her willingness (not the word im looking for please read my mind) to embrace the dark side compared to himself. If he truly wants to bring an end to the Jedi v Empire back-and-forth, he’ll stay more Gray. So, he parts from her to give her that freedom. It’s the thing that drives them apart.
There’s even more ways to try and understand why, im sure. These are just word vomits and nothing to be taken as truth.
While I don’t at all believe Baylan’s intention was to abandon her, leave her for dead, etc, I definitely agree that Shin does feel abandoned.
Was the decision easy for Baylan? Highly doubt it. I don’t think he would watch her go, take a deep breath in, and roll his shoulders if it was easy. I don’t think he’d look around after Ahsoka stole his howler and debate going back for her if it was an easy decision. I don’t think he’d wait on the hill to keep watch and protect from a distance if he didn’t care.
I think one thing is for sure. Baylan thinks he’s doing what’s best when it’s really not. Shin looked like a kicked dog when Ahsoka offered to help—and whether that’s because she was reminded of 30 minutes prior on the hill beside him, or 15 years prior when Baylan stood above her and offered his help that started them on their journey (yari put this thought in my noggin), it hurts all the same.
I just hope the finale clears something up
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strqyr · 1 year ago
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Do you think Yang and Blake made for poorer partners than what configuration your vitalis AU has? Do you like Blake as a character generally? I know you talk a lot about Yang but B/Y isn’t your cup of tea for ships (which I respect and am not trying to convince you otherwise lolol I’m just kinda curious) so what would you prefer for the characters instead moving forward in the narrative?
i wouldn't say "poorer" bc when writing—especially writing an au—you can do whatever you want and come up with new things, canon be damned lol buuuut for a long time, the concept of partners in general in canon has been a "problem" point for me, bc not much is done with it to... "justify" it, if you will?
like, it very much feels like that they had an idea for ruby and weiss for the emerald forest (which didn't last a day) and bc they need to have team rwby, well. blake and yang it is, i guess? in that sense they very much feel like an afterthought bc for the most part in the first two volumes they're just there; when blake finally gets her time to shine at the end of V1, weiss is central to it, ruby is shown to be the most concerned for blake, and yang is. kind of just there. which is fine, but if the point is to sell the importance of partners, why couldn't yang have ruby's role, or do something else that makes her be central to blake's storyline from the get-go?
and this set-up as a whole leads to, admittedly hilarious, scenarios in V2 where after a whole semester blake needs to be explained how yang's semblance works and then two episodes later yang is telling blake her tragic backstory of people leaving her behind with no apparent change in their relationship on screen, as much as time has passed.
and when the ball eventually does get rolling with the two of them, there's this... i had expectations (based on what the writers had done previously / with other characters) that reality did not meet. and that's fine!! you can't possibly cater to anyone lol but for me, it just means my interest is pretty darn low; it's like they had a whole pool they could have dove into head first and it would have been great, but instead they just barely dipped their toes in and called it a day.
so, as far as my au goes, it was a choice between throwing the whole concept out, or do some changes—and while keeping the same partners and coming up with new stuff for them would have been an option, when canon presents me with an opportunity with something that's already there and i find interesting, i'd rather go with that.
and i like blake. again, i don't really have characters i hate or even dislike, it's more of an interest thing; what's their storyline like? is it in the spotlight right now or not? what is the character doing in the meanwhile? etc. so if there's nothing that currently interests me about a character i don't talk about them much.
i'm also way too deep into strq fam + cinder + salem & ozma stuff so everyone else gets left in the sidelines until they do something that piques my interest lol but it doesn't mean i don't like them.
as for preferences, i don't really have any beyond what makes obvious sense? like, yang obviously has to be involved in the whole summer mission thing, it makes absolutely zero sense for her not to, so there's that. as for blake, bringing back the white fang storyline and at least attempting to fix it would be nice, bc leaving it as a dumpster fire that they continuously poured gasoline on and then stopped doesn't stop it being a dumpster fire, it's just a dumpster fire that no one is pouring any gasoline on. and that's a shadow that hovers over blake constantly whether they like it or not; for example, sure, blake can make all the comments about how awful mantle looks, but then you look a little bit to the left where the crater is with faunus living in shacks with no heating and from what i can tell, the only wall they have is the one between the crater and mantle and it's like.
ok then.
but also idk what they can really do in vacuo that could salvage even the tiniest part of this storyline since everything to do with the white fang storyline since day 1 was pointed towards atlas, so. . . kind of don't know what i'd like blake to do, tbh. anything really that gives me something to chew one lol
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toonqueen · 1 year ago
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Duckvember Day 5: Hypnotic Duck
So for Hypnotic Duck I guess I’m just going to explain a Mighty Ducks OC I really never used because she’s so branched off from the main stuff I used to write back in the day that I never got to her. 
Her name is Priscilla Decoy. Pretty much used Priscilla so she could be called Pris for short which is my fave Bladrunner character lolol. Her mom is Lucretia Decoy. Pris happened while she was in dimensional limbo. I have her being Lucretia’s second child. First being Maestro which is Lucretia’s kid with Canard.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 
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Her father is a Saurien named Ricochet. His personality I had vaguely as being like Shaggy from Scooby Doo but not a coward, if that makes any sense. I GUESS I COULD JUST SAY I HAD HIM BE A STONER I GUESS THAT’S WHAT I WAS GOING FOR. Also personality bit like Nosedive so if they ever met Nosedive could gloat to Duke that he was more Lucretia’s type. Ha. I had him being a tan/mustardy colored with his species being duck bill dinosaur based because I thought that would be funny for him to be duck adjacent. But I’ve also thought of him as that one bearded lizard gif, that being his build also works too. HE WAS NEVER FULLY FLESHED OUT so the species of lizard/dino he has was never set in stone ha. 
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Priscilla is tan feathered and dark tan haired, matching more her dad’s coloring. Her bill is also not a bright orange but leaning towards the more tan color of her dad’s scales. She also has scales on the outer edge of her beak cheeks but it is really hard to notice since wearing her hair down covers it and it is a pretty fine line of scales. Her build is like her mom’s but you wouldn’t know it because she’s always wearing baggy hoodies and pants. She has a monotone voice like Daria (from Daria lol). She also has brown/amber eyes that match her father’s eye color. 
My headcanon for Limbo is that the majority of the area's physical reality is warped and not stable. There are pockets where it is like normal reality and over the centuries cities have been built there. You can breathe fine in the wide open ‘unreality areas’ but there is lack of gravity and floating areas of land. Even though you don’t technically need protective gear to be out there, it’s considered bad to stay out there for very long periods of time (like weeks.) It can cause madness and other weird stuff. 
With Maestro, Lucretia and Canard had not heard about how being out in the untamed areas of limbo is bad so when Mae was young he was exposed to it a lot. It didn’t affect Lucretia but later down the line Canard gets some madness from it. (Another long store.) Maestro on the other hand gets some reality bending powers that he has to learn to control when he gets older. His abilities are a really wide variety. Stuff like the gun from Portal and to be able to make illusions and disguises. 
Once Priscilla was born, Lucretia knew better and did a better job of not having her being exposed  to whatever the open area of the limbo nonsense was going on. However, as Priscilla became an adult it became evident she had some bit of a power herself. Not as obvious and powerful as her brothers, but she did it without her even knowing it. She figured out on many occasions people could not say no to her requests and she could, accidentally, have some mind control over them. OOPS. I don’t think she would even realize until she was fully an adult. As a child she was spoiled which didn’t seem unusual because hey you’re a cute kid stuck in limbo of course people are gonna spoil you. And as an adult she just thought people had crushes on her like, “okay, this is the kind of shit mom went through so this is normal.”  It isn’t till some town she’s in gets attacked, and she tells the attacker to go walk off a cliff, and he does it, that she realizes OH SHIT. WELP. This explains A LOT. 
She learns to control it for the most part, but what she does best to avoid it is try not to be perceived. Pris is by no means shy but she just RATHER NOT BE NOTICED IN A CROWD. 
Uh, that's about it about Pris. Only duck I have close to hyponic. Ha. 
This sketch was so good I didn’t want to ruin it by coloring it so I had to draw again just to color and yet didn’t come out the same because that is how life is.
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satoruhour · 1 year ago
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do you ever find yourself jealous of other writers or even your own moots when you see their works doing great and yours aren't. if so how do you deal with that? since I hate feeling that way especially when its technically over something so trivial... ive been seeing ur posts about not getting that many notes on particular fics and I relate heavy.
hi my love! yes, all the time 😭 personally i think it’s inevitable to feel that way. the mind is a shitty thing sometimes and sometimes the way it attacks u is pretty crap so unfortunately i cant do much about that. i usually just spiral tbh and sulk a little and write things that bring me comfort in the mean time (mostly fluffy gojo lolol) but im usually ok after a few hours. im still trying to tell myself it’s a valid way to feel and that it’s perfectly fine to feel less than when interactions are so obvious on posts but a few hours later i’m usually okay. this isn’t a really good guide but i hope u feel ok in regards to getting love on fics because as hard as it is to hear sometimes the quality of your writing really doesn’t dictate your skill. it’s unfortunate that sometimes the work we do is not received well :")
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badedramay · 1 year ago
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No but actually, your assessment of how people lack appreciation for nuances in dramas is so true. It’s not just acting; people can’t appreciate subtleties in writing, either. People always complain of Saas-bahu dramas yet they can’t handle anything besides the overt nature of good Vs evil.
Mein is a good, recent example. Mubashira is — for Pakistani TV standards — a sort of well-written character with bipolar disorder. I say this as someone in the medical field and with family members with BPD. Ayeza has even said mubashira has BPD, but if you read the comments the majority of people are saying Ayeza is “overacting”. Like no bro she’s not overacting (imagine saying Ayeza khan can’t act lolol) she’s having manic episodes, and pretty good ones for PTV standards, but people aren’t willing to appreciate how much work she has put into this character because this character can’t easily be boxed into a category. (To be clear the writing of mubashira isn’t totally flawless like they confused a psychiatrist for a therapist but again it’s the best I’ve seen)
Slightly related but wahaj recently wore a pink Kurta for his MayaPret shoot and the comments under there are filled with demasculinizing wahaj, and this is coming from all genders. Like appreciating nuances are one thing. We have a longgggg way to go if men are still made fun of for wearing pink.
you said it. from what I have observed in terms of how acting is termed by the reviewers as "good" or "bad" very basically falls under the description of, "was it obvious?" even then it has to be obvious at just the right decibel. otherwise it's loud and overacting.
another thing that is often not taken into consideration is how much of a say TPTB have about how a project is executed. i know for a fact that different directors demand different kinds of acting from the actors. some directors specifically WANT the loudness because to them that's how a particular emotion will be best show on screen. some directors go for the subtlety. some want silence to do its job while the actor just occupies the space. and there are cases where the directors are instructed by the channel heads to shoot the project on a certain frequency. no project is made in a vacuum. there are so many decision makers operating behind the doors whose names we don't even know. we only see and react to what we have access to.
khair, acting is an art and while it can be studied and critiqued, there's no set-in-stone parameter by which we can judge its quality. or you can if you really want to but god i am just so tired by life in general to want to get into all that. so, I just stick to the very basic rule for judging an acting performance - did it move me? if yes, then it's a good acting performance. if not then bhale hi uss insaan ko laakhon oscar kyun na mile ho, for me it will never be good. for instance, Iqra Aziz was the best part of Ranjha Ranjha Kardi even if Imran Ashraf continues to make Bhola his entire personality. i won't sit and argue with anyone about it - that's just how my heart works.
AND OMG YES PLS TELL ME ABOUT HOW *FINE* WAHAJ LOOKS IN PINK?!?!?! THE MAN CARRIED THE COLOR BEAUTIFULLY!! SUCH A WELCOME BREAK FROM ALL THE MONOTONY OF BLACK&WHITE!!! FUCK ALL THE HATERS! HE'S A BEAUTIFUL MAN AND THE SOFTNESS OF THAT PINK WITH HIS UNDENIABLE CHARM CREATED AN ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL PICTURE!!! the ones hating on him are only jealous cuz they know they cannot carry the color well.
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chillygourami · 3 months ago
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my opinion is more of a hunch. considering the pace black butler story is marching at (note I’m talking about the plot progression!), i wholeheartedly believe we are nowhere near the end.
first, the proceeding of the story is quite similar to yana’s black butler. a global plot which isn’t highlighted that much (throwing around clues and hints, but that’s pretty much all), each chapter is basically a small sub-plot story in itself. we’ll likely have a chapter FULLY focused on every “why?” question about mc we have for now
next. twst has… many loose ends for now, the most obvious being ace’s unique magic, identity of crowley, the possible time loop, scarabia conflict, almost all non-dorm-leader-characters’ conflicts (hi we need more backstory on leech twins and therapy for cater please) and much more i can’t remember now lolol
i personally feel stuffing all of these in two chapters or so, even considering their length, would be too rushed. and the main story of twst, truthfully, doesn’t rush anywhere at all (imho the pacing is slow as in black butler). besides, most of the chapter 7 by now is focused on backstories, fleshing out the characters, again, it doesn’t talk about the global plot points much. and, solving and highlighting all the before mentioned conflicts of characters would simply be too much
yes i am sincerely hoping writers would be sane enough not to end the game too quickly
(there’s so much to explore in twst world, please i’m starving i need more worldbuilding!!)
oh, and also. it’s not likely they’ll end such a money-grabbing machine that soon. they can make an obey me move with yuu returning to their world and then coming back again
or it could be a wishful thinking.
Curious to know people's opinions on this:
(feel free to reblog w/ your opinions)
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moonknightly · 3 years ago
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but you can’t wait to sink in
marc spector x reader, eventual steven grant x reader
Word Count: 2.9k
Warnings: This is like, nothing but smut lolol. P in v sex, oral (male receiving), daddy kink, dirty talk, rough sex, cum play, spanking, hair pulling, light dom/sub vibes
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Experiencing the world from the inside is something fairly new for Steven. While Marc has been at it for years, keeping quiet and simply watching his alter’s life playout from the sidelines, Steven’s always had nothing but darkness between moments of consciousness. He’d be awake, maybe not always alert but at least awake and then suddenly he’d be somewhere entirely different and the little voice in his head would tell him to run, get out of there as fast as he can and don’t look back.
And then the voice found a face, the same as his but his doppelganger’s eyes were cold, harsh and while it looked just like him it wasn’t him at all.
And then he had a name, and Steven slowly figured out that Marc had been there all along. He thought he’d been going crazy, and really he still thinks he’s absolutely mad. He has no other explanation and Marc has yet to give him a straightforward answer.
All he knows is that Marc has his body more often than not, maybe even had his body first and he plays out a life of his own when Steven becomes the voice in his head. When he’d first started figuring it all out he’d never even considered that Marc has his own little world when he’s in control and God is it vastly different from his.
Marc is dangerous, calculated, confident — all things Steven would never consider himself to be but it’s not just his personality that’s completely different.
Steven is alone, Marc isn’t. He has you.
Steven remembers you though. He’s seen you around the museum, hanging around the same restaurants as him, he thinks he’s even seen you at the petstore once and it doesn’t take him very long to realize that you were just watching, waiting for Marc.
Whatever this is, whatever is wrong with him you’re fully aware of it — the first time Steven lingered around while Marc had control, you’d been in Marc’s arms in a matter of seconds, the switch so obvious to you you didn’t even need to question it, question him. You’d just known.
Steven remembers asking Marc, late one night after you were already asleep, why you loiter around the same area as him but never say hi, why you’re so close to Marc but seem to want nothing to do with him.
“You would’ve rejected her, and that would’ve killed her.”
That had been Marc’s answer, and Steven figures he’d probably been right.
You were pretty and funny, Steven was awkward and, well, awkward. You were a badass like Marc, Steven was scared of his own shadow. If you’d ever approached him, he probably would have run the other direction and he can see how that would hurt you — he shares a body with Marc, it would’ve hit a nerve regardless of the logistics.
But Steven doesn’t think he would run now. Now Steven’s finding himself thinking about you more and more, even in the moments where he’s in control of the body, moments that are becoming increasingly rare because honestly? He’d rather watch Marc have you than wander aimlessly in a life that has started to feel meaningless.
It’s obvious that Marc’s meaning is you. You’re laying against his chest now, and Steven wishes he could feel it. God, he wishes he could. He tells himself it’s wrong, harboring a crush on someone clearly taken but then he feels a little less bad once he reminds himself that nothing about this is exactly normal.
Marc pushes a strand of hair away from your face, his touch gentle, light as his lips meet your cheek and you can’t help the little giggle that escapes. Marc smiles against your skin, his hands that had been resting along your back moving down towards your ass as he hums and sighs, trailing his lips closer to yours until he captures them between his.
Steven blushes as he watches you kiss, turning his face away — he knows how this goes. Marc will try to get into your pants and you’ll push his hands away, mumbling something about the fact that he’s watching and Marc will try to convince you that it doesn’t matter, but you’ll still shake your head and he’ll relent. He’ll pull you close and the two of you will fall asleep and Steven will sit there, jealous and stewing just a bit.
And that’s exactly what happens, except this time Marc’s sigh is just a little more exasperated than usual and when he pulls back, he looks at you like he can’t believe you haven’t figured it out yet.
“Babe, Steven doesn’t care.”
“What?” you say at the same time as Steven, except where Marc hears two voices you only hear one.
Marc snickers and hangs his head while he chuckles, his curls in your face and Steven’s stomach twists when you automatically bury your face into them.
“He’s got a little crush on you honey,” he hums, picking his head back up and stealing a glance at Steven in the mirror beside his bed, sighing again though this time it’s relaxed, happy even.
If Steven had the body, he’s sure he would be throwing up, his nerves on fire but you don’t even seem that phased and it helps him not to panic, at least not as much as he would otherwise.
“He does?” you mumble, looking almost a little confused.
Marc nods and places a quick, chaste kiss to your jaw, slowly letting his hands wander again. “He does baby. I mean it.”
“Yeah but she wasn’t supposed to know that,” Steven says in his British accent, earning another snicker from Marc. “I mean really, that’s a little messed up, in’it?”
Marc ignores him, his eyes still focused on you. “I bet he’d like watching me fuck you.”
Steven starts to argue, starts to tell Marc that he doesn’t have eyes for his girl like that but Marc keeps talking and honestly? It shuts him up.
“I bet he’d like watchin’ me spread your little pussy open,” he whispers seductively, his lips brushing against your ear with each word. “I bet he’d like watching you struggle to take my cock…our cock.”
Steven’s floored, the heat in his cheeks spreading through his body until he’s completely on fire but he can’t deny it. He can’t deny it at all and the way you arch your back, the action subtle but still noticeable sends his thoughts into a spiral.
“Babe come on,” Marc mumbles, pulling back just enough to look down at you. “We haven’t touched each other in months and I miss you.”
“I know,” you sigh, letting your fingers trail over his bicep, pushing just past the cuff of his short-sleeve shirt so you can trace along his shoulder. “I miss you too.”
Marc doesn’t say anything else, neither does Steven — he just watches as Marc leans in and kisses you, desperate and needy and you almost immediately let a moan slip from your mouth and into his. The sound makes Steven’s pants tighten just a little bit, metaphorically of course.
Marc’s actually feeling it, the bulge in his jeans evident just from your kiss and the little noises you’re making. He takes your hand, guiding it towards his clothed cock so you can feel how hard he is for you already.
“You feel that honey?” he coos, pressing just a little harder and letting out a moan himself. “Fuck do you feel what you do to me? You haven’t even fuckin’ touched me yet. ”
You whimper and start rubbing him through his jeans, your eyes round, full of an innocence that even wholesome naive Steven doesn’t believe. “I wanna taste you. Fuck I haven’t had you in my mouth in so long.”
Marc mewls and quickly nods, rolling onto his back and you’re quick to help him out of his jeans, flinging them to the side while he rips his shirt over his head, beyond eager and you can’t help the little giggle it pulls from you. He sits up, his smile goofy, maybe even love drunk and he kisses you sloppily, all teeth and tongue but you meet him with the same stupid ferocity.
“Shut up,” Marc mumbles, falling back against the pillows again, hands behind his head while you crawl between his legs.
“Make me,” you counter, your smile going from affectionate to wicked and Steven would give anything for you to look at him like that.
Your attitude sparks something in Marc and his eyes flash. He tilts his head to the side, one of his hands moving to your hair. “Suck my dick.”
Steven shivers, watching, eyes blown as you almost immediately take Marc into your mouth, unable to fit all or even most of him.
He can’t help but think about the fact that that’s how you would look trying to take him too.
Marc lets out an almost pathetic moan when your lips wrap around him, his free hand fisting the pillow beside his head. He’s so sensitive after not being touched in so long, he can’t keep his hips still but the way you gag only turns him on more. You wrap your hand around the base of his cock, stroking what you can’t fit but you’re quick to remove it, pulling in a deep breath through your nostrils before you take him down your throat.
“Jesus fuck baby, fuck,” Marc pants, bucking his hips and making you gag again. When you pull away, there’s a string of spit connecting you both and he takes his fingers, collecting it before smearing it across your face. “Fuck you look so good like this, my dirty little girl. Bet you wish it was my cum, don’t you?”
You nod, mascara dripping down your cheeks. You’re quick to pull him back between your lips, this time bobbing your head rapidly, curling your tongue around his head and sucking harshly. Marc closes his eyes, lips parted as he starts to pant again and he nearly loses it when you bring a hand up to play with his balls, rolling them around in your palm. He white-knuckles the pillow, his back arching, chest heaving and he doesn’t even care that he’s about to last a pathetically short amount of time but still, he stops you.
“Fuck, not yet.” He sits up, glancing towards the mirror when he hears Steven whimper just a tiny bit — he’d almost forgotten about him, and apparently he’d been enjoying the show. “Fuck I don’t want to cum down your throat, I need that tight little pussy.”
You lay your head on his thigh and let his dick slip from your mouth, placing soft little kisses along his shaft just to continue giving him some sort of pleasure. He bites his lip and almost reconsiders letting go on your face, on your chest, anywhere just so you don’t have to stop touching him for even a second but it’s been so long since he’s watched his cum drip out of your perfect pussy.
“Lean over the bed,” he mumbles, his voice wrecked by lust and desire, its usual dark edge only fueling the fire between your legs. “Ass up.”
You do as he says almost immediately and Marc smirks — your face is towards the mirror, he can watch each expression you make while he tears you apart but the slightly sadistic part of him can watch how each sound you make, how each drag of his cock along your walls makes Steven needier and needier.
Marc rolls off the bed, grabbing your hips and before you can even take a breath he’s pushing himself into you, nothing slow or gentle about his movements but somehow it’s still graceful, practiced. You gasp, and now you’re the one fisting the bedding and crying out and Steven looks almost confused — is Marc hurting you?
“Oh she fuckin’ likes it,” he laughs, pulling almost all of the way out before thrusting right back in, harder than before, somehow even more precise in where the tip of his cock hits. Your cry is more of a scream. “She fuckin’ loves it when I rip her open on our dick.”
Marc’s choice in verbage isn’t lost on Steven, it isn’t lost on you either — it only adds to the arousal dripping from your cunt, coating Marc’s cock, his thighs, the duvet. He leans over you, just enough to fist your hair and push your head into the mattress while he fucks you, lifting it every so often just to slam you back down again, never enough to actually hurt you but just enough for you to get off on the pain, the roughness of it all.
“You think Steven would fuck you like this baby?” he coos in your ear, glancing back into the mirror with a wicked smirk. “You think he knows how to be rough with you?”
You can only moan, whimper, cry, but whatever noise it is you make both men can tell you’re turned on by Marc’s words. Steven’s not even sure what he’s feeling, what he’s thinking — he’s never felt a need like this before, one so deep it renders him useless, his brain completely off.
“Of course he doesn’t honey.” Marc’s tone is almost condescending. “That’s why we have to show him, right? He has to learn.”
“Fuck!” you sob, pushing back against his hips but Marc stops you almost instantly with one of his hands on your lower back, holding you in place. “Fuck, fuck are you going to let him fuck me daddy? Please, are you going to let him ruin your little girl?”
Steven’s head is fucking spinning. You actually want him too? He’s never thought about you like this but now that he’s gotten a taste he doesn’t think he’ll be able to think about anything else ever again.
Marc only laughs again, landing a sharp smack to your ass. “That’s cute. You think he can ruin you? You think anyone else can fuck you like I do honey?”
He spanks you again when you don’t answer right away.
“No sir. No daddy, only you can fuck me like this. Fuck, it’s so good.”
“That’s right baby, that’s it,” Marc hums, slowing his thrusts just a little, appearing to be tender for just a moment but his eyes betray his motions. “But he can try, can’t he? He can try all he wants but he’ll never fuck this cunt like I can.”
Steven thinks he should be pissed at Marc’s words but he’s not. He isn’t in the slightest. If anything they make the desire, the ache that’s so deep inside of him grow and grow. He whimpers again and Marc’s eyes fly back to the mirror.
“I want her.” Steven doesn’t even care about how pathetic he sounds.
“Not yet,” Marc growls, picking up the pace of his hips again but then he pulls out, flipping you onto your back and pushing you up the bed just enough for you to wrap your legs around him. “Wait your fuckin’ turn.”
You haven’t stopped moaning, but they pick up in volume when the new angle allows Marc to hit your g-spot from another angle, or maybe it’s a combination of the promise that Steven’s going to fuck you next but either way, Marc’s full attention is back on you in an instant.
“Fuck you look so fuckin’ good like this,” he mumbles, bringing his fingers to your clit, finding a rhythm that matches the force behind his thrusts. “So desperate for me. Such a good little girl for daddy.”
The pressure against your clit has you letting go in a matter of seconds and Marc isn’t long to follow. He leans down and kisses you, swallowing your moans, letting you swallow his while he rubs you to the point of overstimulation, while he fucks himself into you to that point as well.
He finally collapses on top of you, rolling to the side so he doesn’t crush you even though you’ve told him time and time again you like the weight of him, the comfort it brings. His fingers haven’t left your clit and once he’s slid himself out of you, his fingers travel downwards towards your entrance, collecting his cum. He pushes some of it back inside of you, causing another moan to escape your throat but it’s quiet now, blissed out.
He brings his fingers up to your faces so you both can see, the mix of your release coating them, glistening in the low light of the room. He glances towards you, then towards Steven who can’t make a fucking sound at all then pulls his fingers into his mouth, sucking them clean, shivering at how sweet and tangy you both taste on his tongue.
Marc looks down at you again, using the same hand to gently caress your cheek and there’s a part of him that looks maybe just a little sad but a larger part of him that looks intrigued, excited even.
“Hope you’re up for a second round, honey.”
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9w1ft · 3 years ago
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What are the top three things that happened in the last year or so that make you so confident they are still together? No “sources”. No small coincidences. Real things that make sense. No eye theory allowed! Go!
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ok anon, i’ll bite!
-taylor’s sudden and sustained use of baby, child, and father imagery and language from lover era through folklore and evermore and now. karlie has done some of it too.
i could list it all up but this post would get very long and it’s, you know, a touchy subject. but i think it’s been pretty noticeable if you’ve been open to it. plus idk, taylor creates a whole album about a secret love and talks about wanting to be her lover’s end game but somehow it’s not supposed to include starting a family? and if it does it needs to be done publicly?
-taylor’s continued use of the crest symbol (something kaylors identified far earlier than swifties)
beyond the Lover music video, we see it in the evermore album photos, and she’s now used it on The Vault. it’s the snake looking like an S and the butterfly looking like a K, for me. plus.. crests are made for *families*
-social interactions with mutual acquaintances.
for example, cara delevigne going to see taylors SNL performance and also publicly sending karlie bottles of wine. misty copeland dancing for taylor’s AMA performance and then also posting a pic wearing a LIKE A KLOSS tshirt to instagram. lily aldridge wishing karlie a happy birthday using a pic where taylor’s right there in the frame. the haim sisters hanging out both with taylor and with karlie on multiple occasions. etc. and then brandon maxwell adding taylor swift songs to his runway shows, and cs often featuring pics on instagram of taylor in dresses he’s designed. all this while karlie hosted project runway with them as judge and mentor. if you believe taylor and karlie were ever together, these kinds of sustained moments should give you pause because they just wouldn’t happen if there was a breakup.
***
honorable mentions:
-taylor making the noticeable public pivot towards “fictitious songwriting” with folklore and evermore.
this isn’t so much a proof as something that i think really sets her up well for the future. for me, trying to wean the public off of searching for connections between lyrics and her real life is a way of protecting what she has. plus it has allowed her to write about a greater variety of things.
-the red rose dresses
i’m sorry say what you will about twinning being abstract (yes sometimes it is) but, this kind of thing is just obvious. what’s more, we can deduce that taylor started working on that video before karlie started designing her dress, and karlie then designed hers, debuted it, and taylor then went and did the video without change. to a similar extent you could argue a similar pattern with the yellow dresses in 2019 (elle cover/off-white runway) and the orange thing (yntcd/carolina herrera vogue cover/adidas/match.com) that went into 2020. there’s a pattern of one of them debuting a look, the other puts out a similar look, then it gets revealed the other was working on it earlier, etc… plenty of opportunities to course correct these bold primary color twinning moments if they didn’t want anything to do with one another. and in general, they’ve still twinned a lot in this post lover era
-taylor continuing to wear the vsfs ring (which is undeniably a kaylor bat signal)
on significant days such as kissgate anniversary in 2019, while accepting an award in 2021, and at her birthday party just this month. honestly i could write a dissertation on other jewelry things (karlie wearing the cartier necklace through the pandemic onset and her pregnancy, the alison lou of it all… or the awe le duo necklace lolol, but the angel wing ring takes the cake)
moreover, it’s just all this and every other thing, in aggregate. they’ve both maintained my attention!
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viola-ophelia · 2 years ago
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act 5 opens with a bunch of people - bland, mrs. bland, the kids, mcdonald, and a random guard - standing around basically wondering what the hell is going on. mrs. bland and the kids wander off “weeping,” and bland takes the opportunity to apologize to mcdonald for the argument earlier. mcdonald accepts, and bland claims he’s going to undertake a “trial” to prove his new sound morals..... hmmmmm. interesting.
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in the next scene, washington is sitting around lamenting the fact that he has to be the one to give the orders to kill andre. interestingly, there’s no mention of benedict arnold here - though irl, i think his sadness at having to execute andre would definitely have been mingled with rage at arnold’s betrayal and the sense that something had to be done to rectify that.
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a guard comes in and announces that honora has been marching through camp demanding an audience with washington, and that she won’t take no for an answer (honestly? an icon HAHA).
washington allows her in and is basically immediately overcome by her pathos lol.
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but he refuses to do anything, and honora faints and has to be dragged out of the room LOLOL.
in the next scene, bland and andre are sitting around basically commiserating with no idea what to do. honora comes in and she and andre have this ridiculously melodramatic exchange lol.
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melville and the guard come back in, and it’s pretty obvious that there’s no more stalling to be done - they’re taking him to his death 4 realsies this time lol. andre says he’s ready, but honora freaks out, falls all over the place, and has to be distracted by mrs. bland so they can take him away.  
the final scene is the execution itself. andre’s last words in the play are very interesting - especially because he’s cut off in the middle of a sentence and led away, where he dies offstage. the only thing that signifies that it’s really over is a cannon in the distance. it’s as if he really isn’t allowed to be in charge of his legacy at all, despite trying so hard to gain some measure of control over it earlier - because the only two characters left onstage at the very end are bland and mcdonald, representing the two opposing sides of the american conscience.
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bland is overcome by grief when he realizes andre is dead and throws himself to the ground, leaving mcdonald to have the last word. his final monologue is a warning against succumbing to the european “dictates of the heart” - a very interesting note for the play, which seemed at almost all points to sympathize with bland’s sentiment that andre didn’t deserve his fate, to end on.
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and that’s the end of the play!! honestly, i had a ton of fun reading it and i would genuinely recommend it because it’s pretty short, quite readable, and honestly entertaining at many points LOLOL.  
hey all you andre sexyman truthers: i’m reading André (1798) by William Dunlap so you don’t have to!
a bit of background about WTF this is: written only 18 years after his execution, andré (1798) is considered one of the first examples of american tragedy. it’s a 5-act play dramatizing john andre’s life and death that - despite being written by a self-professed patriot - is VERY sympathetic toward andre, who is the undisputed hero of the play. drawing inspiration from anna seward’s “monody on major andre” (the background of which, if you’re interested, is explained very well here), dunlap focuses heavily on andre’s relationship with honora sneyd, a young englishwoman who he had been engaged to - and forced to break from by her disapproving family for financial reasons - right before enlisting in the british army. anyway, if that didn’t bore you to death and scare you away LOL, i’m gonna be liveblogging this as i read it, starting with the prologue! 
right from the get-go, i can tell william dunlap is a major simp for andre (aren’t we all…) LOL. 
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i DO love the disclaimer that this isn’t necessarily historically accurate. sue me, but i actually fully support creative license in historical fiction! but yeah, maybe don’t use this as a source of actual facts about andre’s life lol. 
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the last stanza of the prologue is basically like “teehee don’t judge my writing too harshly,” which, same, dunlap, same. 
i shall reblog this with more commentary as i get into the actual meat of the play!! 
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tartagilicious · 3 years ago
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what they would do if they caught you crying ❄️ // xiao, kazuha, + diluc (established relationships version <3) cw: injuries
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XIAO:
- all of the time, i see people frame xiao as this emotionally clueless person, but personally, i just don’t think that stereotype is true — even with his habit of being alone, he reads people. he has life experience. you might be a little more in trouble if you ask him for something like comfort, but, not understanding.
- of course, his brooding appearance doesn’t really elude to this at all. so, it’s understandable as to why you avoid him when you come back to wangshu inn one day, beaten and bruised beyond even your normal level
- you think it’ll only lead to an awkward conversation, when in reality, xiao can actually be quite helpful! i can see him being a ‘listen and help’ now and ‘ask questions’ later kind of person. it tends to be adorable to see how concerned he can actually get over you.
- tears are another question altogether, too. definitely something that deserves his attention, even if you try convincing him you’re alright.
-----
you let out a resigned pant as you shut the door behind you, at last back in your room at wangshu inn once again. or, at the very least, you hope it’s your room — your vision had gone blurry around halfway your trek up the stairs.
unsteady legs take you to the bathroom. you’re relieved to recognise the throwaway products you bring with you on your travels sitting on the sink. in your haze, you knock the foremost bottles to the floor as you stagger to open the cabinet below it, yet when you reach down for the first aid kid, you find yourself stuck.
something inside you breaks at that moment — whether exhaustion or pain had pushed you, there is a single moment wherein you feel nothing but every imperfection on your body. every cut stings, ever bruise tingles, each scrape and sore bone screams to you at once, calling tears to your eyes.
in the back corner of your mind, you think to imagine yourself: half bent in front of the counter, the arm that isn’t supporting you weak at your side. and, of course, the fat tears that run from your red-rimmed eyes, landing amongst the threads of the mat beneath your feet.
somewhere nearby, you hear hinges creak open. an alarmed whisper reaches you ear as someone helps you to the ground, moving your hair from your eyes. there’s a moment of tangible silence that passes between you as your gazes lock. his expression is unreadable as gentle fingers ghost over the bruise on your temple, each bloody imperfection blanketed under his concerned golden eyes.
the world swims around you, extremely unwelcoming in the way it envelops your body in sludge. regardless, you find yourself saying his name. mumbling it, you grasp his arm.
“xiao.” a pained breath leaves your lips as you shut your eyes. “it hurts."
your lips twist as another sob is torn from your throat.
he shushes you gently, a gloved finger coming up to catch the tears that fall over your cheeks. the words that leave his mouth are slightly stiff, as if being read from a script, but the worry in his voice is incessant. it drips into you from every word he speaks, in each kiss that is placed wantonly on your skin.
in every tear he wipes away, there is a silent promise to catch the next one, and the one after that, until he can finally help your pain to subside. he wants nothing more than to see you drifting off to sleep, each wound covered and treated. and no matter how long that takes, he will always be there to wipe your tears.
-----
KAZUHA:
- he himself is vulnerable to his own emotions, what with being subjected to nature, but also the contents of his past. he’s average in that regard — but, i imagine kazuha as being pretty empathetic.
- he knows how to comfort you and does so effortlessly, even if he may be panicking inside. of course, he hates seeing you cry, it’s only expectable for him to know how to comfort you, even if he may not know exactly what’s wrong
- we all have those days. he understands that. so, when you try to hide your sadness from him he will not ever berate you for it, nor will he take it personally. he will only make sure he’s there to help you through it.
-----
you know you’ve spent too much time away when you hear a knock on the bathroom door — three lone taps at the wood, kazuha’s silent and heartfelt signal to you. for a moment, you think to pretend you aren’t there, but he’d seen you enter. there’s no escaping it.
it may be a futile action, but you stand to see your reflection in the mirror anyway. with your eyes slightly swollen and cheeks still damp, all you can do is wipe any tears away and pray that kazuha chooses not to say anything.
slowly, you creak the door open, popping your head out from the crack.
“are you alright in th—“ he pauses. kazuha’s eyes take in your face with more ardor than usual, laced with a familiar unease that sinks to the pit of your stomach. of course, there’s no fooling him.
he puts a hand on the door, as if to gently manoeuvre his way into the bathroom with you — but instead, it rests next to yours, patient as he asks,
“did something happen?"
kazuha’s voice is a perfect melody, composed of the softest winds and crafted from the anemo archon's most beloved songs. it’s that same voice that reaches out to you in this moment, patiently beckoning for something greater than pain, something more atuned to the romantics he pursues. simply, he seeks to be the reason your sadness ceases.
“no, no—“ you try assuring him, a quick laugh leaving your mouth. but, even you are aware of the way you avoid his eyes. “nothing’s happening, it’s alright."
his gaze narrow slightly.
“come on.” kazuha’s hand slides down to take yours, and together, you back into the bathroom. the weight of his hand in yours is far from unfamiliar, but as he shuts the door once again, you have the sudden urge to pull away.
kazuha is not someone you are uncomfortable with, but the level of intimacy between the two of you has nothing to do with wanting to hide your weakest moments. for the first few minutes, you perceive the situation awkwardly. you don’t know quite where to look or what to say, even as tears begin to fill your eyes again.
“please,” he at last whispers to you, head bent down slightly to reach you at eye level. “tell me the reason for your tears."
your lips morph into a gradual frown before you meet his gaze.
damn him. i couldn't refuse.
you throw your arms around his neck, a quiet whine escaping your mouth as he catches you dutifully. kazuha’s hands are warm on your back as he holds you with care, handling you not as something that is broken, but something he’d do anything to keep together.
-----
DILUC:
- sputtering, awkward, foolish — these words can all be used to describe diluc when he’s crushing on someone. you’re definitely not exempted from that either lolol
- his care for you is obvious in the way his cheeks flush when kaeya teases him about you, or the look he gets in his eye when you’re talking to him about something you love. the ways he loves are also ever-present in the way he comforts you.
- he may not look it, but he treats emotions well. in even your most extreme cases, your sadness is his own
-----
he is the first to notice when you dip into the back of angel’s share, giving your blessings to one of your regular patrons with more speed than usual. while the hour does chime high, you normally work alongside him until the last customer leaves the building. your unfaltering persona can be excused with a bad day. but, to just take off so suddenly, it strikes him in the wrong way.
diluc's distress may very well be visible in the way customers began to limit their interactions with him, but he doesn’t mind. if anything, it gives his mind time to wander to you. at first, he resolves to wait for your return, but that hopeful process is crushed when ten minutes pass and you remain missing.
his eyes wander down the bar, briefly going over each of the faces seated. either tipsy or engrossed in conversation, diluc takes the opportunity to nudge charles — a silent warning as he goes off after you.
for a moment as he walks, he thinks of the concern that weighs heavy in his chest. the same concern had always previously been reserved for things such as his business, or the safety of mondstadt. but to feel the same emotion because of another is a completely different sensation. it’s in his nose, in the way he can’t quite figure out where to place his arms as he moves. it’s stifling in the way that nothing else can be, like breathing in hot air on a summer day.
when he reaches you, he opens the door carefully as not to disturb you. a distinct shyness bubbles in his chest at the thought of catching you doing something you shouldn’t be, but when he opens the door, all he sees is you standing there.
your back is to him, body completely still all for the slight way your shoulders shake.
he calls out your name.
you startle easily, arms suddenly moving up to cover your face. diluc’s stomach drops as he approaches you, stopping next to you in front of the counter you lean into. no words are exchanged for a few moments as you continue to cry despite your hands, tears slipping out from beneath your gentle touch and onto the wood below.
diluc places a heavy hand atop your head.
in reality, there’s just not that much more he will allow himself to do — he doesn’t trust himself to say the right thing, or to be the person you need to pull you back from the darkness. there are too many things hat must be plaguing you in this moment for such a thing to happen, and his chest constricts at the thought. in some way, you must be stumbling on your last legs, painfully aware of every nerve and tiny cut on your body; that much is evident in even just the slight shake of your shoulders.
but unbeknownst to him, every instant he stands by you is time you have to heal. over time, you begin to recognise the feel of the cold air biting at your skin, and the contrast of his warm hand over your head. there is nothing you need him to say, nothing you need him to do, he himself is all you will ever need.
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amysteriousmessenger · 4 years ago
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May I request some fluff RFA headcanons? 🥺🥺
I hope these are okay!! I added Saeran and V just for the sake of it!! <3 these will be a random mixture of with and without MC!
Random Fluffy RFA + Saeran and V Headcanons
Yoosung Kim Fluffy Headcanons
He asks you to marry him in LOLOL, since there’s an expansion pack where you can set up a little house for extra storage. He gets really nervous and a bit sweaty about asking you to do it, he takes it oddly seriously and Zen almost passed out when he thought that you were actually engaged.
He tries to make you coffee every morning, especially if he’s trying a new style out. He thinks it’s really fun and he loves to greet you with it for breakfast. After a while, you come to associate the faint smell of coffee with Yoosung. 
At the start he starts sneakily using little bits of your shower gel because they smell so much nicer than the one his gamer student budget allows him to buy. Eventually, he’ll just cave and buy a bottle of the one that you use because it means he gets to be reminded of you all day and it’s a lot better for his skin anyway.
If you play with his hair when his head is in your lap, he’ll absolutely fall asleep. Yoosung is a little bit like a puppy in that way, it just makes him feel so happy and loved.
Zen/Hyun Ryu Fluffy Headcanons
Zen’s a big person for morning kisses, especially sleepy ones. He’s an early riser and definitely feels extra needy in the morning. He’s also always the big spoon, he likes to feel as though he’s protecting you even when he’s asleep.
Whenever you’re crying and cover your face so he can’t see, Zen’s the kinda person who would gently pull your arms away so he can get a look at you and figure out what’s wrong. He’ll kiss at your eyes and cheeks until you either stop crying, or let him get close enough to pull you in so you can cry on his chest. 
He loves doing skincare on you. If he thinks you’ve had a hard week, he’ll do your moisturiser, clay mask, face mask, eye mask- you name it, Zen wants to pamper you with it. He knows the importance of skincare and he thinks it’s a great way to relax and pamper you. 
Zen’s ‘Happy Place’ that he thinks of when he gets stressed is the two of you, beers in hand, spending an evening in the kitchen trying to cook food. He can hear the laughter, smell the ever-so-slightly burning food, taste the traces of beer on your lower lip. It just makes him so happy to think about and he can feel the desperation in his limbs to sprint home at full speed and make the daydream real.
Jaehee Kang Fluffy Headcanons
Saturday mornings are Jaehee’s favourite out of the whole week. She’s just worked 5 hellish days and Saturday is the day where she gets to have a bit of a lie-in. Usually, Jumin doesn’t ask her to come into the office on weekends and it’s usually just a case of working from home. Jaehee tries not to oversleep too much because she doesn’t want to throw off her schedule but sometimes she can’t help but pass out for 10 hours straight and undisturbed. 
She really enjoys bubble baths with you. When you first start doing it together, she’s a little shy at being seen undressed so intimately, but she still really enjoys the time alone with you. It’s a great way to unwind and she likes being so close to you.
Jaehee isn’t much of a cuddler when she’s asleep, she tends to just sleep flat on her back out of exhaustion. However, if you wake up for any reason during the night, you’ll frequently find her hand holding yours, whether she did it consciously or not. 
She collects really nice and cute stationary. She doesn’t really take them to work because she doesn’t want to be seen as unprofessional, but once she runs the coffee shop, she gets to write in her little hot-drinks-themed stationary and decorates the little cups with tiny stickers for the frequent customers and especially for whenever Zen comes to visit.
Jumin Han Fluffy Headcanons
Sunday mornings are Jumin’s favourites. He usually wakes up really early by routine, but on Sundays he spends a little bit longer curled up in bed with you and Elizabeth the Third, watching you both sleep. Jumin’s also usually the big spoon if he’s sleeping on his side, but when he sleeps on his back he typically still has one arm around your waist so you’re pulled next to him with your head on his chest.
He personally donates to many different cat shelters all over the country. He takes the money straight out of his own bank account and gives generous monthly donations to make sure that there’s enough funding to both feed the cats already there, and take in extra cats of the streets along with getting them adopted. Jumin’s staff actually has a company policy that if they adopt a cat from one of the shelters that Jumin supports, the vet and adoption fees are covered by him, he counts it as philanthropy.
Jumin has a bottle of wine in his cellar from the date you met, the date you first kissed, the date you got engaged and the date you got married. He hasn’t quite decided when he’ll share those wines with you, he just knows at the moment that he wants to keep them for a very special occasion. 
When he’s bored at work but he can’t call you because you’re busy, he pictures taking you to one of his vineyards on the weekend. He’ll picture your smile, you adjusting your hat and lightly squinting against the sun, you smiling at him over your glass of wine. Then he’ll tell Jaehee to clear his schedule for the weekend.
Saeyoung Choi Fluffy Headcanons
Your arms around him, holding him against you, is pretty much the only thing that can bring Seven out of an anxiety attack. If you’re not physically with him, he crawls under the duvet on his bed in hopes of still smelling you. He’ll call you and look through selfies with you that he has on his phone until he calms down. 
Seven frequently tries to make you food. He’s never had to cook for anyone before and he doesn’t really cook for himself, so it’s a lot of trial, error and frustrated takeaways. You try to eat whatever he makes though because you can really tell that he’s put his heart into it and you want to show him that you appreciate the effort he’s making.
He loves you feeling his biceps and gushing over how strong he is. He’s not even particularly ripped but you can tell he has strength in his limbs and seeing you give him any kind of physical approval makes him m e l t instantly.
He’s both the big and little spoon, depending what mood he is in. Sometimes he wants to hold you close and never let go, but sometimes Seven needs a little bit of support too and want to feel like he’s needed by you.
His absolute favourite dates are the arcades, the cinema, bowling and carnivals. He has far too much fun on the bumpercars and he absolutely has it out for you, you spend most of the time trying to escape him.
GE Saeran Choi  Fluffy Headcanons
GE Saeran always makes very over the top hot chocolates for the both of you. He has an arsenal of whipped cream, syrups, chocolate shavings and sprinkles. His hot chocolate is better than any you could buy in a store. He’ll make one for you whenever you ask, and then sometimes just to surprise you if it looks like you’re having a bad day.
GE Saeran ends up getting two cavities in his first few years of living freely. He does look after his teeth, but he let his sweet-tooth go little bit wild with all the new foods he got to try, it was all so new and fun to him, he just wanted to try everything! He took much better care of his teeth after that, but the trip to the dentist was quite a weird one since he’d never been before. 
Slight Angst: Saeran always serves your food first and makes sure there’s always extra helpings if you want it. He usually puts a little bit more on your plate than what you would usually eat. He never quite gets over the guilt of taking your food away at Magenta, so he spends the rest of his time making sure you have more than enough to eat now.
He likes to constantly buy you little gifts that he sees when he’s out and about that remind him of you. A little notebook in your favourite colour? A little forget-me-not necklace? A candle that smells like your perfume? He’d added them all to his cart. 
After lip kisses, Saeran loves giving cheek and hand kisses to you. For him, he really loves getting head kisses and he thinks it’s extra cute when you plant a little kiss onto the tip of his nose.
V/Jihyun Kim Fluffy Headcanons 
V usually wakes up first, unless he was working late in his studio. He wakes you up with a kiss to the forehead, a cup of coffee and soft words. After he’s put your drink on the table, he’ll climb back into bed with you and cuddle until you’re properly awake.
He actually enjoys baking with you. Well, he likes to help you bake and then he gets to do the decorating. You usually bring a cake to any RFA hangouts and it’s always very obvious when V’s helped you bake because it feels like he goes out of his way to put a piece of gallery-worthy art onto a cake with food colourings and icings. He thinks it makes it tastes better, and you have to agree. 
In recent years, V’s been considering trying a more plant-based diet. He thinks he’d like to try vegetarianism, but he’s frequently spend periods of time as a pescatarian, especially after he’s come back from travelling. It also means that he gets to practice cooking more too.
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ootahime · 3 years ago
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what is utahime’s role in the future? — a prediction (manga spoilers)
part 1 (unedited)
I WAS ABOUT TO POST IT BUT I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED IT AND I WAS SO HURT FR!!!!! I HAD REWRITE THIS ENTIRE THING </33
part 2 is here!
in this post, i will be analyzing the information we’ve been given about utahime so far to form a prediction about her future role in the jujutsu kaisen series. if you’re as interested in utahime’s character as i am, please feel free to keep reading :3 (i’ll also be talking about her relationship with gojo a bit too)
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soukatsu_ on twt!
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kaikaikitan on twt!
utahime iori is a semi-grade 1 sorcerer working as a student supervisor/teacher at kyoto jujutsu high school. she loves drinking beer and going to karaoke. she’s also close friends with shoko and she’s not particularly fond of gojo most of the time. what else do we know about her?
hates sweets (funny she’s the complete opposite of gojo)
she’s great at singing and it’s a huge part of her technique
squabbling with gojo became a reflex :3
everyone absolutely adores utahime
loves watching soccer and baseball
a terrible drunk (worse than naobito zenin)
gojo is her main source of stress
let’s dive into her personality and abilities!
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chapter 65
before i get into it, i think it’d be best if i were to explain the timeline because a lot of people seem to be confused about this one particular thing. utahime is born on february 18th, 1987. contrary to popular belief, she is not 3 years older than gojo. it is november 2018 in the story because gojo was sealed on halloween. if gojo was born on december 7th, 1989, that would mean that right now, he is only 28 years old. he has yet to turn 29.
the year is 2007. gojo satoru is a second year at tokyo jujutsu high school. the japanese school year begins in april which suggests that gojo is only 17 at the time (even if it’s not april, it doesn’t look like winter yet so it’s unlikely that he’s already 18). utahime is 20 because it is past february. she is a 2nd grade sorcerer at the age of 20. that’s not bad at all!
chapter 65 introduces young utahime and mei on a mission together within a cursed site. in real time, they’ve been gone for two days which is a cause of concern for gojo, shoko, and geto because the two haven’t contacted anyone since the beginning of their mission.  the two begin to suspect something is wrong because the hallway markers they’ve set in place disappeared, and no matter how far they travel within the halls, the end is nowhere in sight.  mei theorizes that the cursed spirit is overlapping the space as they travel forward.  utahime agrees with this speculation and proposes a plan to escape the cursed spirit’s grasp by moving erratically.  notice how she says that if one of them should escape, they can try to attack from the outside or call for help.  if utahime was not capable of inflicting damage on anything then she would have told mei to escape and attack if she can while she waited to be rescued.  however, she didn’t.  she included herself in the sentence which leads me to believe that she is capable of going on the offense if needed.  
keep in mind that at this point in time, mei is a grade 1 sorcerer.  she is knowledgeable about all things involving jujutsu because she is experienced and skillful.  we can see this aspect of her character illustrated when she theorizes that the cursed spirit is messing with the space they’re in.  she chooses to go with utahime’s plan because she agrees that it’s the best action moving forward.  this verifies that utahime is an intelligent girl that’s able to get along with pretty much anyone.  
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her intellect is demonstrated once again in chapter 79.  she was able to deduce the possibility of there being more than one traitor and the fact that one is probably a higher up.  she also narrowed down the mechamaru as the mole of kyoto not because he was acting suspicious but by process of elimination.  she thought thoroughly of his technique and how easy it would be for him to manipulate devices small enough to be undetectable.  
sure you can argue that she should already know all her students’ abilities and whatnot but you have to admit that it’s hard trying to sniff out the traitor when no one is acting suspicious.  in addition to that, how did she know that there was a traitor in the top brass?  i would have never guessed that tbh LOL (maybe bc im an idiot).
okay, now that we have established that she’s intelligent, let’s answer a more important question.  is utahime weak?
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chapter 33
if gojo calls utahime weak, does that mean there is some truth to it?  well it is true that she is weaker than him because he’s the strongest and all.  in my opinion, he’s just teasing her.  he probably found that calling her weak is what really riles her up.  maybe i’ll talk about why he loves teasing her so much in a later post.  but anyway, gojo calls everybody and their mom weak.  he even said jogo was weak and we know how powerful that guy is.  gojo’s words alone do not indicate much about utahime’s power.  in fact, i don’t even think he has seen her use her technique yet.  he’s probably only ever heard of how it works.  this is what i think their conversation about her technique was like:
gojo: hm?  ur cursed technique is singing?  can u show me?
utahime: what!  no way!  
gojo: why not?
*one of the classmates tells him that she can only use her CT once in a while because it consumes a lot of energy*
gojo: hahaha!  u have to conserve cursed energy to use ur CT?  why are u so weak, utahime?
utahime: i!  am!  your!  senpai!  respect!  me!
what i’m trying to say is that gojo loves poking fun of people.  we should not believe him when he calls someone weak because compared to him, everyone is weak.  
this is a little off topic but let’s examine him telling her, “and you don’t have the nerves, utahime.”  i think he’s trying to say that there’s no way she’ll ever do something like that because she’s not the type to put her students in danger.  remember the soft expression and relieved smile on her lips when she said that she was glad the students were safe after the kyoto incident?  gojo was directly in front of her so not only did he hear her say that, but he could have seen the look on her face too.  even if he told her that she didn’t have the guts to betray the school to get on her nerves, he knew that utahime simply cared too much about the students so he ruled her out as a suspect right away.  this is why he ultimately decided to confide in her and ask her to help him.  
i’m a person who loves over-analyzing things.  i really enjoy the dynamic between gojo and utahime.  they’ve known each other for more than 11 years and although they always bicker, there is an unspoken feeling of trust between the two.  gojo can do anything and everything by himself because he is truly the strongest person alive, but he still knows when to rely on others.  him deciding to entrust utahime with such a job implies that he believes in utahime’s abilities.
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chapter 52
she’s not using any cursed energy here--not to our knowledge at least.  this is just pure skill.  she was able to swiftly evade the swing from haruta.  he was surprised himself considering the fact that he was right behind her.  how do we know her CT isn’t speed?  after haruta swung at her, we can see that some of her hair got cut off.  if she was using her CT then speed should be her specialty.  she should have been able to completely avoid the attack altogether but she didn’t.  of course this isn’t a wow moment because jujutsu sorcerers should know how to dodge attacks, however, i’m just trying to get the point across that she’s not a defenseless person without her technique or others.  let’s not forget that semi-grade 1 isn’t a weak rank either.  you can’t simply be recommended to be a grade 1 sorcerer if you only can support others.  
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chapter 48
i want to bring up this panel. it suggests that utahime and takuma are sorcerers who have not experienced black flash and therefore, do not understand the essence of cursed energy as well as those who have like gojo and nanami.  i find it strange how takuma and utahime were used to represent sorcerers who haven’t experienced it yet.  is the purpose to demonstrate that there is a clear difference in skill between adult sorcerers like utahime and takuma compared to gojo and nanami?  i could be nitpicking but the order of todo’s statement doesn’t line up with the sorcerers being shown.  let me explain in depth.  todo starts off by saying, “for those who have experienced black flash as compared to those who have not...” wouldn’t it make more sense to show gojo and nanami on the right side to represent sorcerers who have experienced black flash?  that was mentioned first, after all.  gojo and nanami should appear when todo says “for those who have experience black flash” while utahime and takuma should be shown right after to personify the second part, “as compared to those who have not.”  i’m just making it more complicated than it actually is LOLOL i’m sure it really just means they haven’t experienced black flash yet, which is completely fine.  i also find it fascinating how they used utahime to contrast gojo.  with nanami and takuma it makes sense.  nanami is someone takuma looks up to, he wants to gain nanami’s approval before he deems himself worthy of a promotion. what about utahime and gojo?  what’s the purpose of comparing those two together when it’s obvious that gojo knows more about the essence of cursed energy more than anyone else?  i might be delusional whoops
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let me know what you guys think?  this is only a part 1 so i haven’t gotten around to answering the question.  i’m pretty much done with the second part, i just need to revise it a little.  i think after i post part 2, i’ll try to interpret all the gojo and utahime moments in the manga >.<
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