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soapybutt17 · 1 year ago

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Too Sweet For Me

Summary: It was the annual Military Ball, the fifth one since you and John have been married in secret. With his new promotion as Captain, meant a whole ball park of responsibilities he was still getting used to—but nothing gets to him more than the mere sight of you, his beautiful darling in the dress he always loves. It was also something to prepare for with the new changes that came to this year’s ball. Character: John Price x F!Wife!Reader. Kate Laswell. Word Count: 2,190 Chapter Warnings: None. Author's Note: this was also supposed to be for @glitterypirateduck's O'Captain challenge but my appendix had other plans for me this past few days. Lol.

Inspired by this song (obviously)

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“Darling.” You couldn’t help but smile at your husband’s pained groan.

With a red backless dress, you know you would turn heads with your outfit and even more certain that your husband would be killing a few men if you weren’t too careful about him.

“Behave.” You pulled away from him as soon as you felt his hands hold onto the small of your exposed back. You turned to face him, seeing him so handsome in his ceremonial uniform, an upgrade since his new promotion.

“I don’t think I can see myself behaving with you looking so ravishing.” He muttered approaching you again and pulling you into another kiss, allowing him this one time since you have yet to put your make up on. “Will this be a problem for tonight?” He playfully warned.

“If you keep your hands to yourself it won’t.” You playfully pointed out pecking him on the lips one last time before turning your attention back to your vanity mirror to put on your makeup. “I’m surprised that you actually plan on coming to this year’s event. I’d expect you to just stay home after the last mission.” You pointed out.

Behind the bravado and the handsome uniform your husband had on, was a broken but healing man that just got back from a mission. A few scrapes and bruises you all know too well were hidden perfectly well, but the black eyes was something that would take more than an ice pack and makeup to actually cover.

“Better to be there to see what those muppets have planned.” He grumbled.

You had accidentally let it slip that there was going to be an auction for this year’s event and you had volunteered to be part of the auction. A simple date that you were certain meant absolutely nothing but it was for a great cause and you couldn’t really fault them with.

Your husband was still apprehensive about the fact, especially knowing that no one was made aware of your relationship to each other. Everyone was given the fact that you were both good friends that had been on countless missions together. It was nothing but friendship between the two of you if you were ever spotted in town together even when the both of you knew it was something more.

“It’s just one date, even Kate is joining along.” You tried your best to reassure him but it wasn’t happening whatsoever with the deep frown resting on his lips.

“Just because I agreed to this doesn’t mean I’m happy about it.” He muttered under his breath, finally resigning by your decision, which you were thankful for. No need for you to try to convince him with anything.

“You owe me for this. I need some kind of motivation for tonight not to blow someone’s head.” He muttered.

And you spoke too soon.

“How about a day or two in that ritzy cabin you’ve been pestering me about for weeks now.” You offered.

One thing you truly hated was being too out of touch with society if you could avoid it. You have to do it for work, you weren’t so keen on doing it in your personal time if you didn’t have to. But your husband just was a recluse when he wants to be and this was one of those many instance that he will have his way.

“Deal and the ring stays on so they know you’re mine.” He muttered.

You smiled, lifting your hand up for him to see the sparkle of your engagement and wedding ring still nestled on your finger. Even without him saying it, you wouldn’t even dream of removing it.

The newly promoted Captain John Price should have been at the top of the world because of his new title, but it was far from the reality of it as he watched his beloved wife continue to mingle amongst both officials and fellow soldiers. It still shook him to the core how someone like you could command yet bring comfort to anyone that was privileged to be in your presence.

But that was just what made him love you so much. How someone like you, a Lieutenant to his own position as a Sergeant would never once use your position to demean him or treat him as anything less than you were. Some may say your call sign as Rookie to be an insult, a way to make you less than what you truly were, but you proved time and time again that it was a reassurance to anyone lower than you that you will stand on equal footing as them if the need arises especially on missions.

“Rookie’s already stealing the spotlight.”

John turned his attention to one unfortunate woman he had the misfortune of meeting in his life that turned his whole world upside down. Kate Laswell was an intelligent woman—far too much for her own good at times but she was the best of the best in her line of work. She was one of the main reasons why he was placed in a mission that ended with him finally climbing the ranks.

“As she should.” John agreed, subtle in his comments as to avoid anyone, especially Laswell from thinking anything was going on between the two of you.

“I still can’t believe she refused the promotion.” She continued taking a swig at the whiskey she was cradling, only bringing a craving for one in John himself.

“I’ve heard. I don’t think she’d be a good fit with the paperworks from the looks of it.” He added.

Of course he knew the very reason why you had refused the promotion on your own end. You were in all accounts a better fit than him to become a Captain, a rank that had been a well-deserved position for everything you’ve done but every single time the topic would be brought up you had threatened retirement or AWOL if anyone pushes. You never truly saw yourself as someone that would be working behind the desk, you couldn’t help and navigate dealing with officials, you admit you were never built for such capabilities.

“I believe she is. You should have seen her chew on Shepherd during the last mission. She’s got guts and a heart that not something you see in the field often.”

He nodded, that was what made you special. He watched you now begin a lengthy conversation with the well-known and very much feared soldier Ghost. How you had been the only one to hold a conversation and not trembled at the sight of the monster of a killing machine.

“Why am I not even surprise with her.” He chuckled turning his attention away from you and turning towards Laswell. “So, are we just gonna spend the entire night talking about Rookie?”

“That’s not much of an issue for you Captain.” Laswell smirked knowingly.

“Will I ever live that down?” He questioned, jokingly.

He was once again reminded of the time in his drugged state where he was delirious enough to propose to you after a mission gone wrong. To many it was just him too drugged from painkillers but for you it was an intentional proposal that you accepted once you were alone.

“You’re never gonna escape the allegations, John. I will never allow it.” Laswell smirked finally excusing herself when the MC has begun.

He made his way to this designated table, his eyes always following you. He watched as you made your way backstage to prepare for the auction later on tonight. It brought the never ending dread in the pit of his stomach as the staff began distributing the auction paddle around, accepting his own without an ounce of hesitation.

It will be a long night that much he has come to realize.

“One Thousand!”

You had faced so much trials and tribulation during your career in the military. The vile and often times immoral acts that was placed against you during interrogations and kidnapping, but nothing in your life could have given you more shame than to be standing in front of the stage as numerous bids have been placed upon your name.

Your eyes had been following along to the numerous of individuals that were bidding, some were colleagues your husband had been all too certain had hots for you, others were top officials that you were more than certain were pigs for involving themselves in the date auction knowing they were married, then there were the guests that had been leering at you all night long.

Maybe your husband was right, the auction was a big mistake.

Your eyes scanned the entire room until they met the familiar eyes of your husband. The reassurance had settled on his eyes as much as the annoyance but he was waiting for you to give him the signal.

Somehow with a simple nod it was all he needed to do to raise the paddle and his booming voice had silence everyone.

“Ten thousand.” His voice had everyone turning.

It was one of the highest bids for the night and it just had to be from the man himself. The rest of the night had been a blur, after the auction and countless of formalities and empty conversations, you had found yourself in the arms of your husband as he helped you back onto the car.

“You alright?” He inquired cupping your cheeks the moment he had helped you with your seatbelt.

“Will get better.” You assured him grounding yourself back to reality as he patted your cheeks and driving the two of you back to your shared apartment.

The car ride was silent, the event with the auction still playing in your head. It could go so wrong in many ways if your husband did not intervene. It was supposed to be for a good cause, but it did not feel like it when you stood in front of the stage. You felt more like meat being prepared to be slaughtered.

Eventually you two had arrived back. Your husband opened the car for you and led you back to you to your apartment. The silence was consuming you more than you expected it to.

“Want to sober up or not?” Your husband inquired.

You turned to look at him as he made his way to the kitchen.

“Sober up would be great right now.” You sighed following him to the kitchen, hopping onto the barstool by the kitchen island. Toeing off your heels in the process, an unintentional moan escaped your lips from the relief on your feet.

“I haven’t done anything yet and you’re already moaning, My Love?” He teased placing a mug of coffee in front of you, from the smell alone you were all too certain was too bitter for your taste.

“Play your cards right and maybe I’ll be the one to make you moan all night.” You quipped right back, cupping the mug and relief of the warmth washing away the events of the night.

“Don’t threaten me with a good time.” He smirked turning towards your mini bar and pour himself a hefty pour of whiskey.

“Surprised you didn’t threatened anyone at the party.” You pointed out.

“I could do lots of things, but I decided it wasn’t worth the hassle for either of us.”

You nodded, watching him unbutton his uniform and sit beside you. Your head immediately finding their way onto his shoulder.

“I’ll pay you back what you paid for the auction.” You promised him.

“You would do no such thing.” He ordered. “You’re worth every pretty penny I’ve paid for tonight.”

You blushed at his words. Even in the years of being with the man, he still has his way of turning you into the girl that had always had a crush on the handsome gruff all only had eyes for you.

Your eyes turned towards your hand, the sparkle of your rings was always present and never once did you remove them even at the party. You wanted to keep your relationship private but never a secret and there are days that you wished to let the world know. But now with his new promotion and you having to lead yet another mission with the help of him now, you doubt it would be a good thing to do.

“You’re too sweet to me sometimes, even after how shitty the night turned out.”

“Nothing shitty about tonight. I get to see you all dressed up and all eyes on you knowing you’re gonna come home to me tonight and do whatever their empty little heads could formulate.”

You rolled your eyes cupping his cheeks and move him slightly too pull him into a kiss that you had desperately wanted to give him all night long. The taste of whiskey brought a sudden thrill through your core.

“Plan on showing it to me, Captain?” You purred and the way his eyes blew out, it was all notification you needed to know as you were unceremoniously lifted into his arms.

Whoever thought your husband had a Captain Kink?

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bridenore · 2 years ago

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HD Books / Writing fic recs

Here are a few drarry fic recs involving books or writing. Listed in alphabetical order, as always.

Annus Mirabilis by Ren [39k]

Harry and Malfoy are trapped at Hogwarts around the time the school was founded. Stuck with a different way of doing magic, with no chocolate, and with each other, they have to find a way to work together if they want a chance to go home.

Dear Diary by AWickedMemory [20k]

// This can’t possibly go worse than the last time I kept a diary. // After the war, Harry picks up a journal to write in… and it writes back. Luckily, it’s not a Horcrux on the other end this time.

Faint Indirections by ignatiustrout [29k]

Draco Malfoy is the last person Harry expects to turn up in Boston, Massachussetts. But now he’s here, and he won’t stop requesting books from the library where Harry works.

He Who Must Not Be Normal by @letteredlettered [40k]

Potter has fame and fortune and posh clothes and all he wants is a simple life. Draco has a flat and a cat and a steady job and all he wants is a complicated life. Which makes you think this story has something exciting like body-swapping, but it doesn’t. Instead it has Indian takeaway and a blue jumper and people wanting a whole lot of what they can’t have, discovering themselves as they discover each other.

If We Were Honest by daisymondays / @gracie137blogs [26k]

Two years ago, Draco and Harry had a whirlwind secret romance that ended in heart-break. Since then Draco’s written a best-selling novel based on their relationship, but with one key difference—the characters get a happily ever after. Now Harry and Draco are reunited for the first time since their break-up, but can they rewrite their own ending?

Love Bites, Or How Draco Malfoy Learned to Let Go and Celebrate His Allure by @m0srael [50k]

Recently-turned Draco Malfoy is doing his very best to be a normal, productive, contributing member of wixen society. So far, he’s managed to keep his bloody little problem a secret, even from his best friends. But when the professional opportunity he’s been dreaming of finally falls in his lap, he finds himself with much more than just a potential promotion. Will a profile on a new creature-exclusive dating app, a wolfy stranger who seems hellbent on liking Draco just the way he is, and a little self-confidence help Draco finally love himself and his newfound community?

Of Infinite Longings by @lauren3210 [6k]

Draco likes books. Harry doesn’t, but he thinks he might like Draco.

Orion in the Sky by space_wingding [30k]

Draco Malfoy owns a bookshop in the Lake District. He’s also cursed. Enter: Harry Potter.

Per Solum Lacuna: By Words Alone by Azhure [560k]

A set of enchanted journals bring solace to two very unlikely lost souls. Whoever said the art of penmanship was lost? This is a wizarding twist on the old fashioned art of correspondence (or the modern art of Internet chatting). What will happen when the mystery writers finally discover the identity of their counterpart? Join this star crossed pair as they obliviously chat to each other; along the way learning about life and love. Find out what will happen when their own voyages of self discovery lead them to the most unlikely of places. This is eventual HP/DM, but other pairings for the protagonists along their journey.

The Price We Pay for Wings by Frayach [13k]

Books have the power to shape young lives. At least that is the hope of the anonymous author of a best-selling series about a Muggle boy and his best friend on the eve of a world war. But stories do more than just shape the future: they can redress the wrongs of the past as well. But only as long as it’s not too late…

Reading Malfoy by @femmequixotic [15k]

After thirteen years of hiding himself away in Muggle London, Draco Malfoy shows up again in the wizarding world–with a wickedly amusing memoir in hand. Harry doesn’t want to read it. Really. He doesn’t.

The Romantic Prawn Who Loved Christmas by @bixgirl1 [39k]

When Draco, forced into sharing a room with Potter for the year, finds out that Potter has a sleepwalking problem, he expects the odd conversations and the weird games of chess. What comes as a complete shock are Potter’s other activities…And why he seems so intent on having Draco join him. (Relax. It’s just like a holiday Hallmark movie! …With, uhm, sleepwanking.)

Sourdough by @academicdisaster24 [17k]

Draco writes romance novels and doesn't leave his apartment much. Harry bakes bread and sells it to Draco. Draco is quite weird. Harry might like that.

Sunseeker by @shiftylinguini [15k]

Harry is a struggling writer. Namely, he is struggling with: writing his next book, dealing with his agent, finding a decent tea strainer, fielding his friend’s concern over the aforementioned book, and figuring out who the cat loitering in his garden belongs to. He also has a slight liking-Malfoy problem. Okay, he has a massive liking-Malfoy problem.

Teach Me, Life; Guide Me, Love by @kiraohara [79k]

Revelations both painful and joyous set the markers in the path of every life. Thankfully, Draco has spectacular company for the journey.

Verba Volant by shushu_yaoi_lj / @orange-peony [34k]

The first letter arrives after the Trials. Harry unfolds the parchment and his eyes open wide when he realises who it’s from. He soon finds himself waiting for those letters to arrive, staring at the window in search of Malfoy’s owl. He wants to know more.

When It Alteration Finds by momatu [55k]

After the war, Harry left most of the Wizarding world behind and built a new life for himself in the Channel Islands. He opened a bakery and is happy with his life. Draco is a fiction author who writes under a penname, and he’s currently suffering from writer’s block. His agent suggests he try writing in a new environment and rents a cottage in the Channel Islands for him.

I hope you enjoy these stories as much as I did!

#my recs #drarry #drarry recs #theme rec

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robinofgothamcity · 4 months ago

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“Maybe one day when we’re old and gray, we can be in love once more. Till then I won’t give love away, darling, I’m forever only yours. ”

Character: Zack Sabre Jr

Fandom: New Japan Pro Wrestling (and it AEW?)

Authors note: omfg, I’m actually terrified to write my first fic in what feels like centuries (even tho it’s only been since march) but I’ve just been on a ZSJ kick for forever now so that’s where this came from! I hope this fic turns out well bc if it doesn’t I might go back to my dungeon and not write again LMFAO. Anywayyy, please read my last post, thank you <3

With forbidden door being around the corner and New Japan talent crawling around the halls more often now, it felt like you were back in Japan talking in the halls with the girls from Stardom and the backstage talent. You had moved to AEW when Nick and Matt were scouting for talent to join their women’s roster and you were more than ecstatic to join them.

Your match with Mayu was running rampant through your head as you were now two days away from the anticipated match and you were like a chicken with her head cut off, doing as much promotion as you could for AEW to get everyone to watch your match.

Back when you were in Japan and wrestling for Stardom, you had this very interesting southern persona. Cowboy boots, tried to have a southern accent to which you failed miserably at, and even went out of your way to order a cowboy hat for every occasion. Many found it interesting and although most people loved it, Zack always seemed to be confused at it.

It was no secret that Zack was very blunt about whatever was on his mind. You could hear Zack cutting a promo from the other end of the building and although Zack was very quintessentially British, you found every reason to turn up your persona up to a thousand on a ten dial scale when he was around. It irritated Zack to no end and even though you loved your gimmick, when you made the move to AEW, you knew it was time to put up your gimmick to bed.

Now with you being a long term roster member, you had taken a few girls under your wing to train and build up. You had found solace in Kris as a best friend and for the moment, everything in your career was going smoothly until Tony had finally approached you with the most life altering news in your wrestling career thus far.

“We want you to be the main event for the women at Forbidden Door.”

The drink you were sipping on was now on the floor as you looked over at Kris who was shaking in excitement for you.

“Wait, you want me to main event Forbidden Door? As in main event one of the most highly anticipated pay-per-views in the year?” You replied back. Tony couldn’t help but laugh at your reaction, “yes, we want you and Mayu to main event it. Stardom was very excited to hear that it was you who was going to compete against Mayu.”

You immediately screamed in excitement as everyone in the hallway turned around to see the commotion.

“Yes, oh my god! Are you kidding me? This is going to be one of my career defining moments, when does Mayu come over this way? I saw some New Japan talent already but-.”

You felt someone covering your eyes when it all started coming together.

“MAYU!” You screamed as you turned around and picked her up, “this is going to be the greatest match in women’s history!” You screamed excitedly. Tony left the three of you in the hallway as he made his way to creative to let them green light the matches for you and Mayu.

You were in the hallway with social media, cutting some online promo when you were dragged away with a few other girls to do some social media for AEW’s TikTok page. Zack had been in the area, scouting for some food when he came across you and a few of the girls with the social media team.

You hadn’t said much to Zack after you left Stardom besides the very far and few compliments on each others matches. You knew Zack would make your life hell when you inevitably crossed him which is why he was waiting for you patiently at the end of the hallway with a smirk running across his face. Your new gimmick was like a smack to the face when he finally tuned into an AEW show and saw you.

You could argue that your new persona was like if Art the Clown and a loud cheerleader had managed to become one person. Your very poppy personality did not match your aesthetic and you guessed that was why so many loved you. You were truly loved by the fans and even found yourself getting caught off guard by how much you’d get approached in the public eye.

Once the girls had called it a day and you said your goodbyes to Kris, Britt, and Rosa, you knew you’d finally have to face Zack.

“Zackary, how are you?” You mumbled as you started to wipe the small amount of makeup off your face, “no more yeehaw darling? I’m kind of missing that right now,” he said in a slight mocking tone. You rolled your eyes as you found a small mirror to check if the makeup had came off your face, “oh, are we telling lies now? I 100% doubt that you miss me running around the New Japan and Stardom hallways with a cowboy had and a terrible southern accent,” you replied in the same tone.

The two of you had a slight romantic endeavor back when you were still in Japan but one night had changed the entire dynamic between the two of you. What seemed like a small misunderstanding in Zack’s eyes was more than that in yours.

You had thought that you and Zack were exclusive, only seeing each other, when you made the unfortunate mistake to walk into his hotel room one night and saw him in the middle of a compromising position with another girl from the roster. You didn’t blame the poor girl, you knew that it was Zack idiotic fault for giving you his room number that night along with a key and the idea that the two of you were only seeing each other.

Zack had came up with a million and one excuses for his actions but you had told him that it was okay. You pretended like it didn’t really bother you however you knew that was farther than the truth. You came home from your Stardom tapings bawling your eyes out and although you tried to see an alternative side to Zack, all you could imagine was that night.

Whenever Stardom had any crossovers with New Japan, you made sure to steer clear from Zack which is where your second romantic fling fruition with Adam Page. With the two of you having slightly the same image, it was clear that the two of you got along and whispers in the NJPW hallways had confirmed to Zack that you were seeing the wretched cowboy. It didn’t last very long as both of your careers had skyrocketed after that but it still felt like salt in a open wound to Zack whenever it was mentioned or even when you would appear on screen with him in AEW.

“I was just wondering if you were going to the after party on Saturday night,” Zack asked. You knew that there was a Forbidden Door after party happening after the pay-per-view but you weren’t completely sure on attending it, “depends if Mayu decides to keep me alive or not,” you joked. Zack rolled his eyes, “as much as I hate having a bias, I know you’ll come out the winner.”

You rolled your eyes, a bit irritated that Zack was very blatantly flirting with you.

“Hey girl, you have promos to cut with TV in a few minutes,” Yuta said as he skipped by, leaving a jokingly long kiss on your cheek. You smacked him with a random scrap of paper that was laying on the floor, “I already finished it you moron,” you screamed back, “I’ll see you tonight though!”

Zack couldn’t help but gag at the interaction.

“You and Yuta?” Zack asked. You rolled your eyes for what felt like that the thousandth time, “absolutely not. That’s actually a running joke we have but I won’t spare you the details,” you replied. Zack seemed taken back, “what?” You asked, really not knowing what was wrong with him, “why won’t you spare me the details? Scared I’ll go after him or something?”

This time you couldn’t help but laugh out loud.

“Oh so it was okay for you to be fucking someone behind my back but it’s an issue when a friend gives me a friendly peck on the cheek?” You exclaimed, finally snapping. Zack couldn’t believe what he was hearing, “you’re still on that?” He asked. You gave him a dumbfounded look, not really in the head space to be dealing with him.

“Of course I am! it seems as though you’re finding it an issue every time I date someone. Don’t think I didn’t hear what you said when I was dating Adam and now you’re bitching at me for a small interaction with Yuta!” You screamed, “but this is the most ridiculous argument ever and I’m over it already. We haven’t been ‘together’ in literally five years and we’re arguing as if we broke up six months ago.”

Zack wanted to speak up but you had left the hallway, not really in the mood to have Zack seeing you cry.

Saturday night rolled around and you felt like you were ready to vomit. You were getting encouraging messages from Mayu as she could sense that you were ready to projectile into any trash can you could find.

You had done all of your makeup and you were now just ready to get your match started. Your gear was eerily reminiscent to Julia’s when she had first started in AEW. You were wearing a cheerleading outfit but it was covered in blood and your boots had small slashes through the middle of them to signify cuts. It was hands down one of your favorite gears to date and you knew that the anger you were holding for Zack really sold the creepy, angry, and borderline psychotic persona you wanted to portray.

“You’re on in two minutes, you ready?” Kris asked. You had relied that happened between you and Zack to her last night and she cold tell you were still shaken up by it, “I am. I’m ready to put on the performance of a lifetime for myself and Mayu,” you replied. Kris smiled as you heard your theme going off through the speakers in the arena.

You grabbed your props and ran out to the screaming crowd. Mayu was waiting for you in the ring as you couldn’t help but noticed that most New Japan talent was sitting front and center to see the match. You felt this overcoming wave of anger when you saw Zack but you immediately pushed it down when you heard your friends and your fellow roster members in the crowd cheering for you.

You had reached the 60 minute time limit as you and Mayu had exhausted each other out. You had blood covering your face as well as Mayu having blood running down her arms and legs. What was 60 minutes felt like just a few mere minutes to the two of you.

You could hear the crowd screaming to give the two of you five minutes but you knew the final match of the night had get started.

Mayu helped you up to your feet as you gave her the most vulnerable and understanding look you could give her and hugged her. The crowd now on their feet and clapping/screaming in support as there was a mix of AEW and Stardom chants going through the arena.

You opened the ropes for Mayu to get out as a sign of respect for her as the two of you helped each other to the back. The two of you almost immediately collapsed on the chairs and chugged down what felt like at least two gallons of water.

The cameras had asked for an interview as you gave them the green light to go ahead with the interview.

You saw Renee approaching you as you gave her a small exhausted wave and tried to look a bit more presentable.

“So, this had been the most anticipated match of the night and it is very clear that fans all want a second match in Japan. How do you feel about that? Going up against Mayu again but in her home territory?” Renee asked. You gave her a tired smile, “Mayu knows where to call me and when to do it. If Mayu or the fans want a rematch, I guess I’ll be seeing her at World Rendezvous in July.”

You heard the crowd screaming in excitement as Renee cut the cameras and gave you a congratulatory hug. You knew you had to go in the shower before the blood and sweat started to mix even more and started to gross you out. You limped your way back to the lockers and took a slightly concerning long shower as you basked in the steaming hot shower.

Once you finished up and realized that the event had finished, you realized that you were in a slightly better mood and figured there would be no harm in attending the after party. You got the location from Julia and made your way over to the venue where it was being hosted.

“And she’s alive!” Yuta screamed. You couldn’t help but laugh as he and Jon gave you what felt like the millionth hug of the night, “that was a nasty match. You gotta run one like that with me,” Britt said jokingly, “I really do love you Britt but I’m giving myself a six month vacation from a match like that and even if I wanted too, it looks like I made a promise to Mayu to give her a rematch at World Rendezvous in July,” you relied.

As all of you started to drink and get comfortable, you saw all of the New Japan and Stardom talent walk in. You ran over to Mayu and gave her another hug as cameras had pulled you for promotional photos. From the back of the room, you could feel eyes on you which you knew belonged to Zack and him only.

You knew you were going to have to face him before he went back to Japan and although you didn’t want to, you’d feel the unnecessary guilt build up over time.

You pulled yourself away from the scene as you sat in the back knowing Zack would follow you. You gave him a quick look before staring at the table, “you never lost that habit, did you?” He said trying to ease the tension. You shook your head, “listen, I wanted to apologize for the other night. It was ridiculous of me to start an argument over that and you were right, it’s been nearly five years,” he said. You couldn’t help but agree, “but there is a reason for that.”

“Which is?”

“I always imagined me with you. I know that you work here and I still work in Japan but I haven’t been able to stop myself from finding someone else when all I try to do is see you in them. It’s ridiculous, I know, but you have realize that it’ll always be you even if we are thousands of kilometers away from each other,” Zack said in a singular breath.

You were shocked to say the least. You knew whatever you had with Zack was still there but you didn’t think he still liked you the way you did with him.

“It’s miles by the way,” you replied jokingly. Zack gave you a quick look of disbelief as you continued, “I guess I have to stay the same thing. You know it’s always been you. There’s a reason why my relationships never lasted and I guess it’s because I always hoped that we’d find our way back to each other.”

Zack reached over the table to grab your hand, “so where do we go from here?” He asked. You bent over the table and pressed your lips to his. He immediately moved it aside as he plopped you on his lap to deepen the kiss. Your hands ran over his blond hair, surprisingly softer than what you had imagined, “well, I do now have business in Japan as I owe a rematch to Mayu,” you replied.

He nodded in relief as you played with his hair in comfort like you used too.

“And I’ll take to Tony to see if there’s anyway I could start splitting time between AEW and Stadom but you have to promise me you’ll meet me halfway here. I can’t always compromise my career with AEW to see you,” you said on a serious note. Zack nodded in agreement, “well, I have contract negotiations with New Japan coming up so I’ll make sure I get more vacationing weeks added onto my contract,” he added on.

You smiled as you felt Zack pull you in for another kiss. From the distance you heard hear Kris and Yuta’s childish “ooooo’s” but you weren’t too worried about that since Zack had made his way from your lips to your neck.

“My room, twenty minutes,” you said giving him one final kiss on the lips before running over to the bar to close your tab, “if you’re late, you’ll be the one paying for room service tomorrow morning.”

#aew x reader #aew imagine #aew dynamite #all elite wrestling #zack sabre jr x reader #zack sabre jr imagine #zsj x reader #zsj imagine #njpw x reader #njpw imagine #new japan pro wrestling #wrestling imagine #wrestling fic

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alexanderlightweight · 2 years ago

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Lydia-John prompter here! No problemo, as Marie Kendo says if it don't spark joy - toss it! (Closs enough right?) However if it does spark joy, can I request Alec giving a final warning to siblings that he won't protect/take responsibility for them anymore - and then following through! Either that or Alec giving second-in-charge authority over Jace/Izzy decisions because he recognises he isn't objective?

here we go! i hope you enjoy it ^_^

it did spark joy and that was a sweet way to ask lol ty

lumine

“I can't believe the clave did this, Alec. But I'll fix it. I'll talk to grandmother-"

“What are you talking about, Jace?” Alec asks, confused as to why Jace has barged into his office, pacing and looking as pissed as he does when someone shows a hint of interest in Clary.

“The clave, they sent you someone else. It should be me as your second, so I’ll talk to my grandmother.”

“Actually, I requested Mirai. Imogen’s opinion is no longer being taken into consideration, as she tried to promote a shadowhunter above his rank solely based on blood ties. There were several options for me, Jace. You, however, weren’t one of them and neither was Izzy. Izzy went science and you went fighting, we all started on separate paths long ago Jace, we knew this was coming.”

“I thought I’d still be your second! You could make that happen and we could have each other’s back.”

“I need someone who has my back and has other people to have her back. Because I won’t be able to pay attention and protect my second. Which means you definitely can’t have the position, as you’ve gotten careless the last few years. And now, after all this running around with Clary, you think you’re ready to the be the second of the Institute?”

“What if she has in it for Clary?”

“Not everything is about Clary. Not everything is about you. Be done Jace, go tell Izzy that this is my final decision and Idris has agreed. Even if Imogen were being listened to, they wouldn’t change this, and I wouldn’t want them to.”

“I’m disappointed in you, buddy.” Jace says as he leaves the door and Alec lets him leave with a sigh and an eyeroll.

“Yeah, me too.” He mutters, because if he were any less exhausted, he would have dealt with this days ago instead of accidentally avoiding it and letting it fester until Jace exploded. Which isn’t Alec’s fault, but he knows he could have dealt with it sooner at least.

He texts Magnus, because he wants the comfort of his partner even if it’s just over the phone and then a portaling is ripping open and Magnus is gracefully sliding into Alec’s lap, hands curling into Alec’s hair like it was made to be touched by Magnus’ fingers.

“A rough day?” Magnus croons and Alec sighs and leans every bit of him that he can get against Magnus.

“Uh-huh.” He sighs out, exhausted and aching to be back home with Magnus, “Jace found out about Mirai Lakecastle.”

Magnus makes a sympathetic noise and his hands scratch Alec’s scalp in a delicious way that makes him want to melt.

“How tedious, did he bother you beloved?”

Alec pouts, because Magnus makes it sound so banal, yet he knows that’s just because Magnus considers Jace’s opinions to be of so little value.

“Yes—” he finally admits, because he’s learning not to hide these things from Magnus. “It was like he was channeling my mother, on a bad day. Reminding me of what a disappointment I am, especially for putting myself first.”

“You’re the leader of an entire Institute.” Magnus reminds him soothingly, voice dry, “you need a second you can trust and one that will listen to you and have your back. Who can be trusted and trust others and who will be loyal. Not a brother who throws himself into danger under the assumption that he remains under your protection. You’re helping him to grow up, satang. Now, you have at least half an hour. Enough time for a twenty-minute nap, hmm? For me?”

Alec smiles in tired exasperation and nuzzles Magnus face and then slumps into him,

—

Magnus pets Alexander’s hair and rubs the tight tendons of his boy’s neck soothingly as he eases him to sleep.

He had meant to lure Alexander to rest in his lap on Alexander’s sofa, however it seems that his boy is too exhausted to even move and he whuffles gentle, mouth open against Magnus’ neck. Magnus uses magic to ease his position into something more comfortable. Alexander’s thighs are deliciously muscled, but they lack the necessary padding for Magnus to perch on them for any length of times without his own thighs going numb.

Magnus uses the gift of magic to ensure this is never a problem, for him or for Alexander.

#lumine writes #writing wednesday #writing wednesdays #magnus bane #alec lightwood #shadowhunters #malec #shadowhunters au #my fanfics #my fics #my ficlets

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lcdrarry · 1 year ago

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6 May 2024 | 2/2 | LCDrarry Fic

Twin Blades

Prompt: “Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith”, 2005, George Lucas Author: Anonymous Word Count: 3,525 words Rating: Teen and up Warnings: lightsaber combat, nightmares

Notes: I had a lot of fun taking a romp into one of my favorite worlds by way of one of my favorite pairings—maybe I'll get around to writing an actual Star Wars, or an actual Drarry, one day. I hope you enjoy my weird brainworm ❤️ Thank you to my lovely friend C for betaing! (Also, I am throwing out the rule where Jedi can't have relationships, because I can.)

Summary: Harry advances a few steps toward Draco, who doesn’t move, only watches him approach with narrowed eyes. “If you’re so sure the Jedi have no power, duel me. If you win, your master will be proud of you.” Draco’s eyes glitter. “And if you win?” “We’ll find out, won’t we?” Harry raises his lightsaber, readies himself. “Come on.” Without another word, Draco lunges at him.

Or, a Drarry-flavored reskin of the battle on Mustafar.

Read it now on AO3.

Please help promote the fest by sharing your favourite submissions, so more people can enjoy all the amazing new Drarry works of LCDrarry. Thank you!

Creator reveals are on 15 June.

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novemberhush · 5 months ago

Note

Hey! Numbers 3, 5, 11 and/or 14 for the ask game please?

Hey! Thanks for your ask!❤️

3) A song you’d choose to introduce someone to your favourite genre

I’m sorry it took me a while to answer your ask, but it was because of this question! What’s my favourite genre of music? Hard to answer. Rock, indie, country? I love them all, and more besides. In the end I just went with what my last Spotify Wrapped said was my most listened to genre last year, and that was ‘New Americana’ apparently. Anyway, it gave me an excuse to post one of my favourite songs by one of my favourite artists.

5) A song you think most of your followers won’t have heard before

Apologies to Miss McGrath if it turns out she’s better known than I think! She’s a singer/songwriter from right here in Northern Ireland whose music I discovered about 5 years ago. A few of my followers might actually have heard this song before if they’ve read my Barisi fic, Waiting for the Inevitable, which you can read here (a little shameless self-promotion there!) as it was the inspiration for said fic and I linked it in my author’s notes.

11) A song that makes you dance

Sorry, it’s not very original, I know, but this song always makes me want to get down with my bad self!

14) A song you love to sing along to

I love this cover of the Justin Bieber song (not that I hate Bieber or his version) and can’t help singing along with it, even if it is a sad one.

Thanks again for your ask.😘

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mermaidsirennikita · 2 months ago

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Hi, I have heard that Elizabeth Hoyt’s Greycourt series won’t be continued, is that true? Do you have an idea why? It seems like such a shame because I really liked the newest book and I hoped it meant that she’s back:(

This is true—she confirmed it via email to a couple different people.

The bigger picture reason is that historical romance is essentially getting strangled in tradpub. Traditional publishing houses do not see a lot of future in historical romance, and while some are keeping a few standbys on board (Joanna Shupe has a standalone out in August, Diana Quincy is continuing her Sirens in Silk series in September, and I am SUPER excited about both; Sarah MacLean still has a book on contract in her Hell's Belles series, Charis Michaels has a book coming out—all of these are with Avon) others are pretty much dropping them.

Authors I know who've been dropped or are otherwise pivoting:

—Harper St. George (Berkely), dropped with books on contract or with a contract renewal on the ground, not sure which

—Liana de la Rosa (Berkely) finishing her current series and has nothing trad on the books

—Eva Leigh (Avon) finished her last series and appears to be pivoting to fantasy romance, which I BELIEVE probably has to do with the historical romance market at least in part

—Vivienne Lorret (Avon) finishing her current series this summer and appears to be pivoting to contemporary

—Amalie Howard (Forever) has at least one more book on contract and was asked to shift it to another subgenre... Which really sucks, because her current series definitely, like Hoyt's, had unresolved things

Which DOES NOT MEAN historical romance is dead. It just means that authors who still want to publish historicals are most likely going to have to look to indie/self pub for more opportunity. But if you really love working within the tradpub system, as a lot of experienced historical romance authors probably do, then... yeah. No more historicals.

Hoyt was published through Forever, and I do think they wanted that book to succeed. There wasn't a huge marketing campaign, but the vast majority of books, historical romance or not, don't get a huge marketing campaign. They did Hoyt-specific posts on their Instagram, they PUSHED the ARCs (I didn't have to wait for it—they sent me a widget before it hit NetGalley proper, and I imagine they sent that out to anyone who'd shown interest in historical romance or Forever titles in general).

The things I've heard from people in the industry is that Forever did try to push Hoyt to market the book more in whatever way she could—push it on her Facebook page, revamp her website (which had been defunct for years and is basically just a single page now) etc. She seemed to struggle with that, and while I do get why authors sometimes need to check out of social media and totally respect that (God knows social media has done vERY LITTLE GOOD for my own mental health lately) the answer then is to invest in other things. A PR agency, a virtual assistant, whatever. I know of *many* authors who have virtual assistants handling basically everything for them online in the current market.

It's not cheap! But the reality is that you either have to do it yourself or you have to pay someone to do it if you want your book to be successful, and it *did* concern me to see her not at all online when the book was being promoted and released.

Authors have continued series on after being dropped before, though the legality of it can vary depending on the contract, publisher, etc. I've seen authors do so fairly quickly, and I've seen authors spend years on legal stuff. (Harper St. George has alluded to continuing her series.) I really hope Hoyt eventually continues this through self pub, but she didn't mention that at all, and if she doesn't want to promote her books online, that.... would make self pub even harder than tradpub.

HEY ELIZABETH HOYT! I LOVE YOUR WORK AND I WORK IN MARKETING! I AM HERE TO HELP!!!!!!

#romance novel blogging

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pharrell-the-formation · 1 year ago

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Let me be clear: I love Emma Hazer with a tender love, but not exactly for who she is, but for who she could be.

I kind of wish to rewrite her and my solution is surprisingly simple: remove her “easy accessibility” as a woman and focus on something else. Hazer is a single mother, taking care of two boys, whose existence is hidden due to a directive prohibiting mothers of many children from working, after losing her husband at the front. The only other relative she has is her mother, who isn’t really emotionally supportive (this is information from the game, I’ll dance from it from now on). She loves her children with all her heart and wants to provide them with a good life and therefore makes workaholism a priority in her life - after all, more work, more money and authority, right? For the same reason, she is applying for a promotion and is one of the three competitors for the protagonist on the first floor. However, even so, she understands that it is hard for her and she is suffering from the stress. This leads the woman to find another goal for herself - to find a spouse who could help her and her family survive in their debt-ridden society. Fortunately, she is pretty, but right there also lies the problem - in her beauty and desperate desire to find a young man, people see a lady of the evening so to speak. Hazer is disgusted by this and most likely the topic of sexual relations kind of repulses her now, because it reminds her that she is perceived as an object. She can be a living demonstration of the destructive influence of the State’s sexism and stereotypes on a person, while still being the chatty lady, who loves to discuss TV series and claims to have a good intuition.

The scene where she and Evan are having fun in the back room can happen provided that the recently met Redgrave pulls her leg for some time, talking about love, deep feelings and lies to her about being single, so that the truth for Emma is revealed later. Most likely, after this story, you won’t be able to build a normal friendship with the character, because choices should have consequences.

There is no quest where she hands over her children to an orphanage, because that would completely go against her character.

She does not call Ferguson the ideal man in the dialogue. Just shows her respect for him and that she thinks good of him.

The "big joke" could still happen, but it has an even darker context, as Evan's only methods of persuading Emma to help them would be to commit blackmail, in that way or the other. After what happened, she deeply regrets what she did, and when the next day Peter does the unspeakable she probably blames herself.

As for her story with Peter Dong.. mm, I suppoooose we as players should consider their relationship as a kind of “endgame”, and Dong as a man actually suitable for her, whom she simply has not yet seen, so I guess I would probably try to make their connection more genuine, if that’s the case. Peter’s love is built not only on his colleague’s appearance, but also on some of her qualities. Let’s say he saw and appreciated how hard she worked, or one of the few noticed how sad she’s been looked recently. Let’s say that when they start dating, Emma doesn’t limit herself to “I hope everything works out for us” in the dialogue, she probably also says something about how she didn’t think that Peter would be such a sweetheart, she is surprised how she wasn’t noticing him before. This, as a bare minimum.

It seems that these are all the changes that I would like to see, maybe if I remember something else I’ll add.

Bonus headcanon for those who read to the end: Emma was the best informant on the floor before Evan came into the game, it’s not for nothing that she hangs around that office phone so often.

#beholder game #beholder #beholder 2 #emma hazer #evan redgrave #peter dong #I wrote this back in November last year #I don’t know why I didn’t post this here back then but well it’s good #Reworked some points

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marketingprofitmedia · 10 months ago

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Check Out My Previous Reviews: Halo App Review, SiteClone AI Review, WebX Review, AI AppMaker Review, AI Books Review, Scalar App Review, AI Gigz Hub Review, WP Funnels Review, Gizmo Review, & Auto Health Sites Review.

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Note: This is a paid software, however the one-time fee is $19.

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ozma914 · 2 years ago

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My Next Book Is My Last Book: Storm Chaser Is Back!

A few years ago we got the publishing rights back to our Storm Chaser series of books: Storm Chaser, Storm Chaser Shorts, and The Notorious Ian Grant. Our plan was to independently publish all three.

Sales had been flat, and the publisher that bought the publisher that bought the books (!) left their pricing (in my opinion) too high for a little known author. $3.99 is a great Kindle buy for a Steven King novel, but few people had heard of Mark R. Hunter.

(Many of those who did thought I was the CEO of Molson Coors Brewing Company. I once got a nasty e-mail from someone who didn't like how I was running my baseball team.)

Well, COVID happened, along with a bunch of other unforeseen problems of various kinds, but here it is!

We made a few edits, but basically it's the same story (a little R-rated in a couple of places) at a much lower price: The e-book version is $1.50 instead of $3.99, and the print version $14 instead of $16.99. (Printing costs are killing everyone.) Check it out here:

https://www.amazon.com/Storm-Chaser-Mark-Hunter-ebook/dp/B0C7MB95NH

Storm Chaser is a romantic comedy pairing a Californian disaster photographer with an Indiana State Trooper who hates photographers—and Californians. I have a feeling he’ll come around … but meanwhile, who’s causing emergencies in his home area, just in time for her to photograph them?

There are still original editions of the book wandering around out there, with the same character on the cover. It seemed best to make the new cover different, but not too different.

We did get Storm Chaser Shorts, now titled Storm Squalls, out last year.

It can be found here, https://www.amazon.com/Storm-Squalls-Mark-R-Hunter-ebook/dp/B09YGJ1XR6, also at a lower cost.

I haven't been advertising Storm Squalls because most of the stories take place after the events of Storm Chaser--but now Storm Chaser is officially on the virtual bookshelves, so I can promote the heck out of both in between working on new projects. We're going to get The Notorious Ian Grant back up too, but it might have to wait until autumn.

But wait ... there's more!

Coming Attractions will be FREE on ebook in July, part of the Smashwords July summer/winter sale.

Participating authors can be found here: https://www.smashwords.com/shelves/promos, starting July 1st, and my account is at https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914. There you'll also find the two fiction anthologies I have stories in, also at the attractive cost of zero.

More about that later, but I wanted to give everyone a heads up. Now even the dog knows.

He's a little upset I didn't ask his help in editing, though. Don't tell him, but Emily's much better at it.

By the way, my YA novel The No-Campfire Girls is also in the Storm Chaser universe, as it shares some of the same characters.

http://markrhunter.com/ https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

If we sell a hundred books by the end of summer, I'll recite one of my humor poems online. If we sell a thousand by the end of summer, I promise I WON'T recite poetry online.

#storm chaser #storm squalls #book release #publishing #romance #romantic comedy #writing #the notorious ian grant #coming attractions #dogs #ebook #smashwords #the no-campfire girls #fiction

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cboeck-webdesign · 2 years ago

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7 ways how to make money on the internet

With this article, you will get 7 ways how to make money on the internet. Earn money on the Internet, that is the dream of many. However, self-employment often poses problems of various kinds. First of all, there is the question of how to make money online. Many who google the terms earn money online come across surveys, writing texts or becoming a product tester. My honest opinion is that it's not worth it, at best you'll only make pennies. Definitely more worthwhile, are orders, which are assigned by portals or private individuals. One speaks in this connection then also of a virtual assistance. In this article you will learn what is worthwhile to earn money online and how I managed to work as a virtual assistant in 2018.

1. What to look for if you become self-employeed and want to earn money on the Internet

Let's start with a very simple thing that everyone can implement, When you're cleaning out the attic or basement, you're bound to come across items that you no longer need or rarely use, but that can still be turned into cash. Especially eBay auctions can be helpful here, but also eBay classifieds are a good way to get rid of the old stuff. If you have a lot of books at home, you can sell them. Of course, you should be aware that you won't get much out of it, but it's still a few euros. At some point, used books are sold and here it could be worthwhile to start a store with eBay, since the entry barriers are not quite as high as with your own online store.

2. Become self-employed as a copywriter

Alternatively, another easy option is to become active as a copywriter. Especially in the beginning, the price per word is very low and ranges between 0.01 and 0.02 cents. Not exactly a lot, considering that an article often has to be researched and written. This also usually means that you only have a part-time job to supplement your household budget. The situation is different if you write texts for a private person and the price per word can be negotiated. Here are then often 5 to 10 cents, depending on how good your text samples are.

3. Amazon Kindle Business (Writing and Selling eBooks)

If you like to write, you can also sell your eBooks as an author on Amazon. I've tried that myself, the hard part is finding a niche where guides sell well. And of course you should ideally write more than one eBook. As an alternative to niche sites, the Amazon Kindle Business is still an interesting thing. Since you really only need MS Word or Open Office, your manuscript that you want to publish and the right niche. Most guides are priced between €1.99 and €5.99, but for starters, a promotion between €1.99 and €2.99 is recommended.

4. Virtual assistance

If you want to work from home, you can also work as a virtual assistant for someone else. This can involve a wide variety of tasks. For example, you could write blog articles or provide customer support, but there are also more creative tasks, such as designing online presences. Graphic designers often take on smaller tasks that can be done online, that can be done online, such as designing logos or flyers. Designing logos or flyers. Other tasks could include the design of online presentations or the editing of videos. Depending on the client, there are also different topics. Therefore, it is worthwhile to become active yourself, because job offers from online marketers are often mentioned in newsletters or on websites. These are also usually smaller tasks that can be done online. A big advantage, however, is that you can work as a virtual assistant from home and flexibly manage your time.

5. Start your own online shop

Today, an online store is at least technically no longer a hurdle, but as far as the legal aspects are concerned, in many respects it is. One of the biggest challenges is to plan enough start-up capital for an online store. Most of the time, larger quantities of the goods that you want to sell are needed and they also have to be stored somewhere. Many use their basement or garage for this purpose, others rent additional rooms. Having your own online store is a challenge in times of Amazon and eBay, but it can still be worthwhile in a niche market. It is important to create a unique selling proposition that makes your own online store special. This can be, for example, rarities or discounts for regular customers. You can create your own online store relatively easily with WordPress and the WooCommerce plugin.

6. make money with affiliate marketing

Most people who want to make money online sooner or later come across affiliate marketing. It is actually relatively easy with affiliate marketing to earn his first euros, if you know what it depends. Affiliate marketing comes in different varieties, especially easy is to earn money with niche sites. Because these are created once and can generate monthly income, provided that the niche is well chosen. To analyze the competition, there are different tools from Ahrefs and XOVI. However, it is known that for certain products also through Google search, an example here are notebooks or televisions. The niche is simply dominated by Computerbild, Otto, Chip and others. But as long as you have found a suitable niche and create the texts for it yourself or have them written, it is no problem to include banners and links from Awin, Digistore24 or amazonPartner.net.

7. create and market your own info products

The supreme discipline is, of course, marketing your own info products. If you know a topic particularly well and are an expert in it, you can, for example, create an online course or offer a members' area where you release new content every month. However, your own info products must first be created and prepared. A blog is a particularly good way to build up trust, for which you need an exciting topic, on which you regularly write something. To earn money with a blog, there are several possibilities, one of them is to market your own info products such as online courses. Read more about earning money with your own blog. Of course, you need both a landing page and a blog to draw attention to your products. Own info products offer the advantage that you can keep the profit for yourself. A few euros go to Digistore24 or PayPal, but the majority goes to you. But you are also responsible for customer satisfaction and support and of course for keeping the product up to date. A simple variant to publish online course is the portal Udemy. Although the courses are more strictly controlled, you will also be found online on Udemy. Summary - 7 ways how to make money on the internet It is definitely possible to earn money on the Internet. The easiest way is to offer your services through portals like Fiverr or Upwork. Mostly it is simple text work or tasks that a virtual assistant can do. Of course, you can become really successful with your own digital info products and coaching. Read the full article

#howtomakemoney #makemoneyonline #earnmoneyonline #AffiliateMarketing

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aquietwritingcorner · 1 year ago

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Oh hey! This is me! I'm the author of Sanctuary! I'm so glad that you enjoyed that story! It was a lot of fun to write! It is posted here on tumblr, too, as are all my stories, if you ever want to give them a reblog!

But I also have a few other 03 Raph-centric fics as well, if I may be so bold as to promote my own things!

Ice and Survival They should have never gone out exploring in the woods. Now Don’s been shot, the temperature is dropping, a storm is moving in, the farmhouse is too far away, and Raphael has to figure out how to keep both him and his brother alive.

A Protector's Job Accidently getting caught up in Foot activity, the guys are getting overwhelmed. Raphael won’t allow that, and steps in to make sure his brothers get to safety. That, however doesn’t come without consequences of its own.

Fever With three of his four young sons sick, and dwindling supplies, Splinter is tired, worried, and overworked. Thankfully, Raphael is more than willing to help his father take care of his brothers—and he doesn’t want to let his father down.

Forced to Hurt a Loved One Raph would never hurt his family. Never. Unless, of course, he wasn’t given a choice. What can he do when something takes over his body and turns him into a force to attack his brothers? Apparently not much, and it’s making him sick.

Shackled Raphael never could stand being trapped or shackled. Throw in an injured brother that he can’t reach because of said shackles, and nothing will end well.

You'll Have to Go Through Me Don is down and Raph is the only things standing between him and about fifteen Foot Ninja. Unfortunately for the Foot, Raph is a protector by nature, and his protectiveness has just been dialed all the way up.

You're Safe Now (Don and Raph Centric tbh) Raph flicked off the TV, chugged the last of his water, and then turned to head back to the training area. Until something caught his ear. Raph paused, listening again. It was coming from Donnie’s room. It sounded like Donnie. It was… he had to listen for it again… it sounded like a cry.

Mistaken Identity (an AU) Some new thugs grab Raph when they meant to grab Don. But while this is a case of mistaken identity, Raph will gladly take the hits, especially considering Donnie’s current state.

These are the ones that I currently have up, but I plan on having more! 03 Raph is one of my favorite turtles to write about, tbh, right after 03 Don! And if you'd like, have a look through my bookmarks! I'm sure I have more Raph-centric ones there :)

do you have any 2003 raph fic recommendations? :)

Unfortunately not really. I’ve kinda found it hard to find many Raph-centric fics for 03. Rise and 2012 there seems to be tons but not so much 03.

The two I do have to recommend are Glass Cage by yellowhollyhock, and Sanctuary by RealityBreakGirl

If anyone else knows some good 03 Raph fics please share them! Maybe we can get a masterlist going!

#mousermeyhem #my stories #TMNT #tmnt 2003 #TMNT Raphael #author speaks

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moonflowerchanniesgirl · 3 years ago

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Winter Breaks

Part Two to Winter Frost

Pairing: Idol Bangchan x Lyricist Female Reader

Genre: angst, fluff, FWB to lovers, slow burn,

Warning: a detailed look into grief and depression, talks about the suicide of someone close to the reader, breakdowns, mentions of sexual activities but no straight up sex

Summary: You and Chan have been FWB for a few months now and things have been going great. Then December approaches and the frost in your heart creep up once again. What comes when the snow melts?

Word Count:8.2k

Authors note: this is not an accurate representation of stray kids but an interpretation based on an idea that stems from them. Part 2 of Winter Frost is here! I meant to finish this in time for my friends birthday but time got away from me. She won’t read this but happy birthday! There are a couple pretty sensitive issues discussed here and I know the pacing is a bit off but hope everyone enjoys!

Your eyes slowly flickered open as they adjusted to the soft morning light. You felt the weight of something across your stomach and you gently turned your head to look at the man behind the weight. His eyes were closed and the expression on his face was serene as his nose moved a little with each inhale and exhale of air. His light brown hair was all a mess of curls that made it look like a giant brown cloud. You couldn’t resist and quietly reached your hand over so that you could gently touch the edge of the cloud. You lightly played with his hair as you really took a moment to capture how at peace you felt. Maybe it was crossing some sort of boundary of friends with benefits, letting him sleep over so many times but neither of you minded. Your body temperature ran a bit colder and his a bit warmer so the two of you were almost made to cuddle. “A weird bodily equilibrium of sorts” you had said when he buried his face into your shoulders as the two of you discussed everything and nothing at all. Perhaps that was why your arrangement worked so well, before anything to do with benefits the two of you were truly friends. The two of you had known each other for a few months but it felt like years.

“I both love and hate how well you and Chan Hyung get along,” Changbin had told you when Chan left the room to go to a meeting. They were already done with promotions for their last album and they were working on the next one. You grew used to just coming in and working with Chan and the others, either helping them with lyrics or just vibing with them and listening to whatever new track they were putting together. Some days Chan would work on his song at his desk and you’d be on the couch in the back with your headphones working on lyrics for another song by another group. Today was a day where all of 3racha happened to be together, well up until Chan needed to go to his meeting.

“I get where you’re coming from but I think you’re just jealous,” Han told Changbin before you could ask what he meant.

“But you do know what I mean,” Changbin retorted, only for Han to roll his eyes at him.

“Then you admit you’re jealous?” Han playfully asked back with a shit-eating grin on his face.

“Someone explain what you guys are talking about please?” You quickly jumped in before Changbin had a chance to argue back.

“I mean you two just seem to get along so well, and you really calm him down a lot. He’s working as hard as he usually is when preparing for an album but he also looks like he’s been getting enough sleep,” Changbin turned to look at you as he talked and you saw the soft smile on his face.

“And Changbins jealous because previously he and Chan were the married couple dynamic,” Han blurted out suddenly and then laughed as Changbin reached over and tried to hit him.

“YAH! What married couple? I was always just worried about how he would run himself down to the ground,” Changbin grumbled as he rubbed the back of his head with his hand. “And now I’m not as worried since being with you seems to make him happier and calmer.”

“I’m glad you see it that way, but I’m sure you guys are there the most when he needs it and he knows that. Besides… we aren’t really together? So at the end of the day, I’m sure he’s going to you guys for support rather than coming to me,” you said as you could feel your cheeks getting hotter and redder. You and Chan were quite transparent about the nature of your relationship with the members. He wouldn’t lie to them and you didn’t feel the need to hide anything when everyone was an adult. They knew that you weren’t dating and were just friends that did a bit more than just hang out. The members were all cool with it with most of them either just shrugged their shoulders or nodded and a few made the ‘ew gross’ look just like when parents talked to their children about sex.

“What do you mean come to us for support when he doesn’t even come to the dorm to sleep?” Han muttered under his breath but he was loud enough for you to hear and you smacked him in the arm. “Owww,” he whined as he rubbed his arm in an exaggerated manner.

“Oh stop pretending, every one of you has arms of steel. I hurt my hand more than my hand hurt your arm,” you said as you rubbed your hand in the same exaggerated manner.

“We really can’t be wholesome for more than five minutes can we?” Changbin asked as he shook his head.

“No but that’s why we fit so well together,” you answered and you meant it.

You had gotten pretty close with most of the members but you especially had a connection with the other two parts of 3racha. On days that you weren’t originally going to go to the studio, they would often text you to ask if maybe you could stop by. Usually, they just wanted to ask your opinion on something or have you hear their latest ideas but there was once when Han texted you to drop in and you opened the door to be met with Chan and Changbin yelling at each other while Han was silently working on the track.

“Wow, what’s got the two of you all riled up?” You asked as Han stood up to grab your arm and pull you closer to him.

“I told you not to call her!” Chan turned to yell at Han who visibly flinched beside you.

“Don’t take it out on him just because you’ve got a stick up your ass!” Changbin yelled back and Chan once again turned toward Changbin.

“I’ve got a stick up my ass? You’re the one that’s being a fucking baby about this track!”

“I fucking told you it was fine the way it was what more do you want from me?”

“And I told you it’s not good enough the way it is!”

“Okay okay break it up,” you stepped in putting space between the two men who seemed to get closer and closer as they yelled. You’ve never seen them actually throw hands at each other but also you never wanted to see that. “Can the two of you please go sit down and let’s talk whatever this is out?”

“You stay out of it! This is none of your business!” Chan yelled at you and that was when your patience with the situation snapped.

“Han and I are going down to grab some coffee by the time we’re back, the two of you have better calmed the fuck down. Otherwise, I’m taking him and we’re going to my studio,” you noticed the instant look of regret cross Chan’s face but you choose to not acknowledge it as you grabbed Han and left the room.

“I feel like a child of divorce,” Han said as the two of you waited for the coffees and strawberry smoothie.

“Well don’t worry you can stay with me while mommy and daddy sort their shit out,” you said as you patted him lightly on the head as a joke. You were slightly shaken up since Chan had never yelled at you before. He had his moments where he was frustrated but it had never been directed toward you. You kept your outside expression as calm as you could though, not wanting to alert Han or any of the Jyp staff on how you felt. “What are they even mad about?” You finally asked even though you were sure you had an idea.

“The same old same old, just this time they got a bit extra heated since it’s a track Changbin Hyung has been working on for a while,” Han said as he leaned down into his seat. “Chan Hyung said he didn’t think it was good enough for the album and asked Changbin Hyung to change some things. They’ve been working on six different variations and when one of them is happy the other isn’t. Then one of them said something I don’t even remember and they kinda exploded at each other. It’s been a while since I’ve seen them so agitated.” Han leaned his head on your shoulder and the two of you just sat in silence for a little bit.

“I’m sure they’ll be fine with a little time. They’re just both very passionate,” you reassured Han as well as yourself.

“I know they will be fine, they always manage to makeup, I just wonder why it got so bad this time. Sorry for dragging you into this mess I just thought maybe you could help calm Chan Hyung down. I never expected he would raise his voice at you,” Han said as the two of you stood up to grab your drinks that were ready.

“I’m glad you texted me, if nothing else I can help you get away from mommy and daddy for a bit”, you joked while Han just shook his head, a small smile on his face.

The two of you braced yourselves as you approached the studio door. You gave each other a final look before you pushed open the door. Chan and Changbin were both sitting down as far apart as they could be and even though it looked like the tension was still thick, they weren’t currently at each other’s throats which was an improvement. Both had their headphones in as they worked on their respective laptops. Han sighed as he went over to give Changbin his coffee while you walked over to place Chan’s strawberry smoothie in front of him. Chan looked up when you set the smoothie down and you noticed how tense his expression was.

“Thank you,” he said as he reached for your hand and gave it a light squeeze as he pulled his headphones down. You lightly squeezed back before you tried to pull away only for Chan to grab on tighter, not letting your hand go.

“Just pulling up a chair,” you said as you recognized the look of panic on his face. His hand loosen at your words and he gave you a slight nod. You and Han shared a look as the two of you pulled up two chairs to sit between Chan and Changbin. The room was silent as the four of you drank your drinks, nobody wanted to be the first one to break the silence. You knew that it would take Chan and Changbin a while before they were ready to actually talk things out so you tried to at least think of a temporary solution for the awkwardness that filled the room.

“Did Versacechoi-nim finish editing the track from last week yet,” you asked, finally figuring out a safe topic to talk about.

“Yeah, he sent it to me this morning but I haven’t had a chance to take a look yet,” Chan replied as he brought the track up on his laptop.

“I want to see what he’s done with it,” you said truthfully. You were trying to change the topic but you were also generally curious about how much the song had changed. “You guys don’t mind right?” You turned toward Han and Changbin who both shook their heads.

The four of you spent the rest of the night focused on that track. You chimed in here and there but you mostly watched the boys work their magic. It was obvious that Chan and Changbin were a bit lower energy than usual but thankfully there was no more arguing. Three hours later the guide version of the song was basically done and Han was yawning loudly. You offered to drive Han back to the dorm as it looked like Chan and Changbin wanted to continue working. You left with Han hoping that the two of them would be able to resolve the earlier situation.

It was two hours later when you heard Chan knock at your door. He had texted you when he left the studio so you were expecting him. What you didn’t expect was that when you opened the door he handed you a pink paper rose.

“Did you make this?” You asked as you took the rose to examine it.

“Yeah, I wanted to get a real rose but all the stores were closed so I googled how to make this,” he said as he stepped in and took off his shoes.

“And this is because?”

“I… it’s an apology gift for earlier,” he said as he rubbed the back of his head.

“Ah,” you said as you turned to walk toward the couch.

“I can get you real roses tomorrow,” Chan said as he followed you.

“I don’t need real roses but I do want to talk about things if that’s alright,” you sat and patted the space beside you.

“Yeah of course,” Chan sat next to you but left a small amount of space which you quickly closed. You leaned yourself against his body and felt how warm and comfy he was. His body tensed for a second before it relaxed and he brought up an arm to wrap around your shoulder.

“Did you and Changbin kiss and make up?” You asked as you gently ran your hand up and down his arm.

“Do you have to say it like that?” Chan whined and you couldn’t help but giggle. “We talked after you and Han left and we realized that we both could have said things differently. We both felt bad about how we escalated things.”

“I’ve never seen the two of you scream at each other like that.”

“I… we’re both under a lot of stress for the new album and it got to the better of us,” Chan turned to kiss you on the side of the head. “I’m really sorry to you as well, I never, under any circumstance should have yelled at you. Bin told me off for that as well, and said I was lucky that you didn’t tell me to fuck myself and leave.”

“I accept the apology, I did consider just leaving but I knew that you were just in an angry mood. And to a certain extent, you weren’t wrong, I just wanted to make sure the two of you weren’t going to beat each other up,” you were partially trying to make a joke but you also knew that Chan’s words held a bit of truth.

“What do you mean I wasn’t wrong?” Chan asked as he pulled away slightly so that he could look at you.

“I mean technically you and Bin arguing is none of my business…” you trailed off not sure how to precisely finish your thought but Chan seemed to understand what you were trying to say.

“Han literally called you over so, of course, it ended up being your business. I was just too in my own head to think about it clearly. You were just trying to be a good friend and keep me and Bin from biting each other’s head off,” Chan gently rubbed circles using his thumb on your arm.

“Well, I do have a soft spot for Hannie so I can’t just tell him no when he needs me,” you laughed at the pout Chan gave you.

“You’re supposed to have a soft spot for me,” he whined as you laughed. You pulled him by the neck into a soft kiss.

“I have a special spot just for you,” you said as you pulled away. The two of you just smiled at each other before Chan pulled you in for a much deeper kiss.

It was when Chan called you to tell you that they would be much busier now than they were preparing for the end-of-year performances that you realized how much time had passed.

“End of year performances?” You repeated before you put him on speaker to take a look at the calendar. November 25th, only a few more days until December. The time you spent with Chan and the boys had made you forget about the looming approach of the worst month of your life. You were partially thankful but also partially upset that it had been so easy for you to not notice December creeping up on you.

“Yeah, we have MAMA and a few other award shows that we’re rearranging a lot of songs and dances for. I’m probably going to be at practice every day so I won’t get the chance to come over for a while.” Chan was very apologetic in his tone but you barely processed what he was saying as the familiar sinking feeling you felt near December finally hit you.

“Ah, I see, well make sure you and the boys eat a lot and stay hydrated. Rest when you can and don’t worry about me, I’m going to be pretty busy soon too,” you tried to sound as calm and as normal as possible. The month you hated the most, December was approaching. You needed to settle all the current jobs you had to ensure that no one bothered you during the month you shut away from the world.

“I have to go now, but I’ll try to message you when I can,” Chan said quickly before hanging out. The silence of the call ending filled the room and already you found it getting hard to breathe.

The first of December hit like a ton of breaks and you spent the day in bed just playing the music you had made with him. You always missed him more than anything but it got worse during December, the month he chose to leave the world. You cried until you couldn’t cry anymore and then just stared at your bedroom ceiling as his voice accompanied you in your misery. You missed him, you missed him, you missed him. Your mentor, your best friend, your inspiration, and the one that you should have been there for. The memories of the late nights the two of you spent together on music flooded your thoughts. You replayed every little moment to see if you could pinpoint a time where you could have said or done something to help him. You cried until you felt nothing and then you hoped the nothingness would swallow you up.

You were never sure how much time passed anymore, you kept the curtains closed and laid in bed shutting the outside world out. Your mutual friends would come to drag you out to visit his grave on the 31st and that was how you knew the dreaded month of December was over. You did know that there was no way it was the 31st already when you heard the knock on your door. You weakly stumbled out of bed as you tried to think of who it might be. Everyone that knew you knew about your December habits… the realization hit you just as you opened the door and saw Chan’s face. The look of worry morphed into a look of confusion as he saw you.

“You’re alright?” It seemed like he couldn’t decide where it was a statement or a question and so it came out sounding like both.

“What do you want?” You asked more harshly than you wanted to. You had thought he would be busy during all of December so you never explained to him how you were spending it. Now that you stood in front of him looking like an obvious mess, you weren’t sure you would be able to fully explain. You wanted him to just leave so that you wouldn’t have a chance to burden him with the pain that you felt.

“You didn’t respond to my texts for the last three days and then when I called you…your phone was off so I just came to see if you were okay.”

You felt like absolute garbage especially when you noticed the black circles under his eyes. He had told you he would be busy but he still made time for you because he was worried. Meanwhile, the first thing you did was snap at him. You didn’t deserve him coming to check up on you.

“I’m sorry December is just a busy time for me so I won’t be able to talk or answer texts. I’m fine so you should go back to the dorm and get some rest.” You tried to shut the door but Chan reached out and used his hand to stop it.

“Be honest with me please, are you okay?” Chan asked as he stared straight into your eyes. You knew that you probably looked the worst that he’s ever seen you. Hair smelly and a mess, dark circles, stained pajamas, suddenly you felt very small and gross in front of Chan.

“Fine. I’m fine Chan, just…have a lot going on right now,” you tried your best to hold everything together in front of him. You didn’t want to break down in front of Chan, not when he clearly had more important things going on when he didn’t deserve to have to deal with the mess that you were. You just needed him to leave so that you could finally get back to drowning in your own misery.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Chan asked softly.

“No, I’ll be fine. Once December ends, I’ll come find you,” you said. Chan looked like he wanted to say something more but he only ended up nodding. He leaned over to try to place a kiss on your cheek but you quickly backed away not wanting him to smell you.

“Let’s hang out when we both have more time then. But please check your phone once in a while when you can,” Chan awkwardly backed away and you tried not to see the hurt in his eyes.

“Will do,” you said as you shut the door. Once you heard the sound of him walking away you finally let yourself collapse onto the floor. The tears that stung the back of your eyes the entire time you were standing in front of Chan finally fell. You already felt like you were at your absolute lowest and now you’ve shown that to Chan. Sweet Chan who came to check up on you because he was worried about you when you clearly didn’t deserve it.

“Please open up,” his voice on the other side of the door startled you and you hastily wiped at the tears on your face. “Please let me in,” you heard Chan say as you stood up on your shaky legs. You didn’t want to open the door for him to see you in an even worse state than he just had but you knew that there was no point trying to hide when he had heard your sobs. You opened the door and tried to place a smile on your face.

“I thought I heard you walk away”, you said not able to look Chan in the face so you focused on the logo of his black hoodie. The logo came closer and closer until your face was pressed up against it and you felt his arms around you.

“Luckily I remembered that Felix wanted me to invite you to our early Christmas celebration party next week,” Chan gently patted you on the back as he spoke while you tried your best to hold yourself together. “Let me be here for you yeah?”

At that, you couldn’t hold it in anymore and cried into Chan’s chest. You clung onto his hoodie as everything that you had been keeping inside you came spilling out in tears.

You woke up alone in your bed and for a moment you wondered if perhaps you had dreamed about Chan when you noticed the black hoodie your hand was clenched around. You slowly sat up in bed, hand holding tight to the hoodie that still faintly smelled like Chan’s warm vanilla perfume. It took a few moments of just sitting up deep in thought before you noticed the sounds that were coming from outside your bedroom door. When you got up and opened the door you were met first with the delicious smell of kimchi stew and then you saw him standing there back toward you.

“Chan?” You asked, still not quite sure that he was really there. He jumped at the sound of your voice before he turned around to look at you.

“You’re awake,” he said as he gently set the spoon he was holding down and walked over to you. “I made some food, it’s almost done,” he took your hand that wasn’t holding his hoodie and led you to sit down at the dining table.

“How long was I asleep?”

“Not very long, I was about to wake you up in a few minutes so we could eat,” he said as he placed two bowls of rice on the table.

“Chan…” you were sure that you probably needed to bring up why you had cried so hard that you fell asleep but at the same time, you didn’t know what to say.

“Let’s talk about things when we’ve eaten, yeah?” Chan seemed to know exactly what you were thinking and you could only numbly nod at him as he set the big pot of kimchi stew on the table. “I made it light because I wasn’t sure when you last ate and I didn’t want to upset your stomach.”

“Thank you,” you said as you gently took his hand and gave it a light squeeze. He gave you a smile that showed he knew you were thanking him for more than just the food.

“Let’s dig in!”

As the two of you are Chan told you about all the new recent things that happened with him and the kids. You laughed at how he tried to show you the TikTok dance that Felix was making everyone do and cooed over the photos of the boys in their outfits for the New Years' stages. You couldn’t help but smile at how excited Chan got when he told you that Lee Know actually came to him for advice for the first time since debut.

“You act like such a dad,” you couldn’t help but say to him as he put a piece of pork belly in your bowl.

“Please never say that in front of the boys or I will never hear the end of it,” he whined and you laughed.

When you both finished eating, the two of you cleaned things up, with him insisting on doing it himself and you insisting that since he cooked you would clean. Neither one of you backed down so you just cleaned up together. As you put the last dish away you knew that it was time to address a lot of things. As you were thinking of what to say to start the conversation you needed to have, Chan, grabbed his hoodie that you left on the chair and pulled it over your head. You stared at him confused as he gently pulled your arms through the sleeves.

“You looked cold,” he said as he then took your hand and rubbed them between his own warmer ones.

“Maybe I’m just cold-blooded,” you tried to joke and were met with Chan’s raised eyebrow.

“I could think of other ways to warm you up but I think we should talk first, yeah?”

“Yeah…” you pulled Chan to the couch so that at least the two of you could sit comfortably while you had what you knew would be an uncomfortable conversation.

“I’m um, sorry that I broke down like that,” you started with an apology first since you honestly felt terrible that Chan had to deal with how much of a crying mess you were.

“You do not at all have to apologize for anything,” Chan rubbed his hand on your shoulder as he pulled you closer against him.

“Still, I wish you didn’t have to deal with this,” you gestured up and down at yourself.

“I don’t have to do anything, but I want to be here for you and help you through whatever it is that you’re going through. In whatever way you need me to be, whether as a shoulder or chest to cry on or a meal buddy, I’m here for you.”

“Chan… I don’t even know what to say, that’s much beyond what being friends with benefits entitles,” you tried to make a joke to distract yourself from how much you wanted to cry again but even to your ears it didn’t sound very funny.

“Hey, I think we both know that what we have goes beyond just friends with benefits no matter how hard we try to stick to that term. And even then, as a friend, I want to be here for you just like you were for me.” Chan pressed a gentle kiss against your head and you couldn’t control the tears that flowed down.

“It’s not that simple Chan… I’m not going through anything. This is just how I get during December.”

“I don’t understand.”

“December is the month he left this earth,” you barely were able to get the words out of your mouth. The two of you sat in silence for a few moments as you felt Chan’s hand on your shoulder stop moving.

“Oh,” was all that Chan managed to say in response, and in that one sound you knew that he understood what you were talking about.

“So I hate it, I hate everything about it and this is just… how I choose to hide away from it. I’ll be fine once December ends, I just don’t want to exist again until it does.” You slowly pushed Chan’s hand off your shoulder and held it with a little squeeze. “I’ll be fine once December ends,” you repeated as much for him as for yourself.

“You’ve spent every December since then like this? Alone?” Chan asked as he turned his body toward you. You looked down at his hand that you held in your own, unable to look at his face.

“Yeah, it makes things easier when I can just hide away from the world instead of having to go out and pretend I’m okay. The memories and the regrets… everything that reminds me of what was lost and what could have been. They’re too much to bear in December.”

“I don’t know what I can say other than I’m here for you. I can’t imagine how hard this is for you and I know that there’s no way for me to make it better but I am here for you.” Chan’s other hand came up to gently cup your cheek and you leaned into the warmth. “Just please at least eat well and let me know if there’s anything you need from me, anything at all.”

“You’re busy with the year-end performances,” you replied softly, quite overwhelmed with the amount of care that Chan presented to you.

“I might be busy but that does not mean you should worry about that. If you need me, call or message me, I might not be able to respond right away but I promise I will always respond. You don’t know how much I want to bring you to practice so I can watch over and make sure you’re truly alright but I understand if you rather not leave your house. I really really care about you and I want to be there for you.” Chan placed the softest kiss on your forehead and held you close to him.

“Chan I don’t deserve-“ you couldn’t even finish your words before Chan cut you off.

“You deserve this and so much more,” you heard the tremble in his voice and finally looked up to see the tears that fell from his eyes.

“Don’t cry for me Channie,” you said as you tried to wipe his tears away.

“If you could see how much you mean to me,” Chan grabbed your hand and brought it to his lips.

“And you mean so much to me,” you said as leaned forward to kiss him. Both of your tears mixed together and everything tasted salty but also sweet. “I bet we’re quite a sight, the two of us crying our eyes out on this couch.”

“A real work of art I bet,” he said and for the first time in many Decembers you let out a laugh.

When Chan left you promised that you would keep your phone on and contact him if you needed him. In fact, he made you pinky promise which you could only roll your eyes at as he whined about it. December was still the worst month but Chan managed to make it much more bearable with his updates on the boys as well as the random selfies that he sent to “show you the performance outfits''. You teased him about how he clearly was just showing his abs and encouraged him to post those selfies for stays while he sent you numerous blushing emojis. Of course, there were days that were worse than others, when you wanted to throw your phone against the wall because you looked at the date and saw that it was still December. On those days you texted Chan that you were feeling terrible and he’d call you when he could to talk about anything to distract you enough that you felt less terrible. Sometimes, Han, Changbin, or Felix would hijack the call and you couldn’t help but smile at how excited they were to talk to you. You and Chan agreed to just tell them that you were busy instead of fully explaining why you weren’t around like you usually were.

“It’s too bad you couldn’t make the early Christmas party, Felix and Seungmin tried to make pancakes again but this time they tried to make them reindeer shaped. In the end, it just looked like those art blobs. Lee Know Hyung got drunk and told Changbin Hyung he really loved him but he refuses to admit that it happened because none of us got it on video. I hung up mistletoe and Innie still refused to kiss me, it’s like a literal rule!” Han chattered away on the other end of the phone as Chan had been called away by a manager.

“Don’t bother Lee Know too much, Chan told me he’s working himself to the bone practicing for all the collabs he’s involved in.”

“But you have to admit it’s funny!”

“Maybe… a little bit,” you imagined a stoic Lee Know as Han pestered him and couldn’t help but let out a giggle.

“Seeeeeeeeeee, anyway I know you’re super busy but is there any chance you’re free on the 21st?” You heard the hopefulness in Han’s voice and couldn’t help but feel bad that you would have to tell him no.

“Sorry Hannie, I really don’t think I can come around, don’t you guys have a performance on the 21st?” You vaguely remembered Chan telling you when he would be busiest in case you needed him and he didn’t pick up right away.

“We’re going to be at the Asia Artist Awards and… well we’re nominated for Performance of the Year.”

“I heard! Congratulations! I’m almost positive you guys will get it!” You weren’t just saying that because you were close to Stray Kids but you honestly believed that they deserved it and should get the award. Out of all the groups you had worked with throughout the years, they were something special.

“It’s still kind of unbelievable to be nominated. I was hoping if you had some time… maybe if you just had a few hours to come by after the awards? It’s just I know if we win or not, Chan Hyung would appreciate having you there.”

“Oh,” it was all the sound you could make at the moment as you thought about what Han asked. You wanted to say yes because you wanted to be there for Chan at such an important moment but at the same time, you knew that your mental state was at its worst.

“These few days he’s been telling us not to worry about it and just focus on the performance but… Bin Hyung and I have noticed how tense he is right now. I’m sure he’s under a lot of pressure and just you being there afterward whether we win or not will help him decompress a bit.”

At that moment you were quite ashamed that you had not noticed any changes in Chan’s demeanor. With that came the shame of taking up his time with your phone calls and texting. You owed Chan to be there for him at his important moments just as he had been there for you in your worst moments. “Text me the details and I’ll try my best to be there,” you told Han after you made up your mind.

You looked in the mirror for the 20th time to make sure that you looked alright. You changed into a nice light blue oversized sweater with a pair of comfy jeans, put your freshly washed and dried hair up in a small bun, and put on the lightest amount of makeup just to cover up the dark circles and pale fatigued skin. You’ve looked better but you didn’t look as bad as you usually did during December. The next step was to grab your padded coat and head out the door but that proved to be the hardest step as you hesitated by the doorway. To step out into the world during the month he chose to leave it, you couldn’t bring yourself to move forward enough to face the world outside. How did everyone else move on so easily? You wondered as your hand shook on the door handle. You closed your eyes as you tried to settle your mind a bit.

“Why do you keep staring at me like that?” You had asked him as you looked up from the lyrics you were working on to find him staring at you with a soft smile on his face. “Like what?” He asked with a slight raise of his eyebrow the smile still on his face. “I don’t know, a proud father?” It was just a random comparison you picked but then you realized how true it was. “Yah I’m only a few years older than you! I’m not old enough to be your father,” he huffed but his eyes crinkled to show his amusement. “Not my fault you behave like an old man,” you laughed as you tried to dodge his hand. You of course didn’t manage to dodge and he ruffled your hair roughly. “Maybe you just behave too young for your age,” he laughed at the expression on your face as you tried to fix your hair. “Don’t try changing the topic now, why do you always stare at me like a proud father?“ you asked as you tried your best to fix the damage he did to your hair. “Can’t you say like a proud Oppa instead? Because that’s exactly how I feel. I like watching you work because you look so focused and happy,” he said with the softest expression on his face and you couldn’t help but turn away. “Awww is someone embarrassed?” He teased as he tried to turn your chair so that you were facing him. “You’re just so cheesy!” You shouted as you tried to hide how red your face was. “It’s true you know, I like seeing you happy.”

A memory that you had buried in the pain and hurt popped through. You pictured the smile on his face as you finally peaked at him behind the hands hiding your face. It still hurt just to picture his face but you also found yourself smiling slightly at the memory. You understood a lot more of what he meant about how he liked seeing you happy because that's how you felt about Chan. With a deep breath in and out you opened up the door and stepped out.

You quickly silenced your phone after receiving Han’s last text that told you they were walking in the elevator. You hid yourself by ducking behind the kitchen counter as you calmed your breathing and listened out for any noise by the door. You had arrived at their dorm before the award ceremony started and went in with the passcode that Han sent you. You cheered as you saw them win their first Daesung and nearly cried at how proud Chan looked as he watched his boys give their award speech. You clapped along to their performance and then rushed about to get everything set up before the boys got back. You quickly blew up a few balloons and then arranged the food you ordered on the table, placing the cake in the center. Everything looked perfect and you could barely wait for the boys to walk in. You heard voices by the door and could make out the distinct noise of Changbin shouting for them to hurry up so that he could order food. You heard the door open and there was a jumble of eight voices talking until they suddenly fell silent. “What’s with all this food?” you heard Felix ask. “Did the managers prepare this for us?” A voice that sounded like Jeongin asked.

“Maybe it was a fairy?” Hannie said and that was your cue to reveal yourself.

“Congratulations!” You shouted as you jumped up from behind the counter. You were met with a few varied reactions, both Changbin and Lee Know shouted louder than you had, Seungmin and Jeongin clutched each other, Felix collapsed onto the floor with a rather high-pitched shout, Hyunjin also shouted and clutched his chest while Han just smiled and laughed as he looked at everyone else. Chan jumped, screamed, and then grabbed onto Changbin for dear life. You laughed louder than you had ever laughed in your life, you couldn’t help it. You laughed so hard that there were tears in your eyes as the boys slowly realized what had happened and collected themselves.

“It’s not that funny,” Seungmin said with a pout as Jeongin patted his arm. “It’s kinda funny,” the maknae pointed at Felix who was still dazed on the floor.

“It was hilarious,” Han managed to get out between laughs and most of the boys turned to look at him.

“Yah! you knew about this?” Changbin asked rather loudly.

“No, not at all!” Han tried to sound convincing but his laugh didn't really convince any of them.

“Han Jisung-shi watch your back,” Lee Know spoke with a glare but there was a faint lifting of the corner of his lips that told you that he wasn’t really mad.

“You almost killed me and Felix,” Hyunjin grumbled as he bent down to help Felix off the floor.

“I didn’t do anything! It was all her!” Hannie pointed at you who had finally stopped laughing enough to breathe.

“Bullshit if you weren’t involved you would be so scared that you would run out of the apartment!” Felix shouted as he went over to try and grab onto Han.

“You’re here,” you turned toward Chan who finally spoke.

“Yeah, I thought I would celebrate your win with you guys,” you walked closer to Chan as you tried to decipher the expression on his face. He didn’t look quite as happy as you hoped and you wondered if maybe you should have asked him if he wanted you there before planning anything with Han.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” Chan bridged the remaining distance between the two of you, you could vaguely hear the other boys say something about going to their room to change.

“I hope you’re happy to see me,” you tried to joke but your voice wavered a little bit betraying your real anxiety.

“You have no idea,” Chan leaned up and place a gentle kiss on your lips, just barely touching your lips before pulling a tiny bit away and bringing his hand to your cheek as if to check you were real. You leaned into his hand as you closed your eyes at the warmth. You linked your hands behind his neck and pulled so that he was hugging you.

“Good, I like seeing you happy,” you said as you softly ran your fingers through his hair. “Congratulations Channie,” you gave him a kiss on his cheek as his arms tightened their hold around your back.

“Thank you,” he whispered in your ear and you closed your eyes as you wanted to deeply remember the feelings you felt at this moment.

The two of you stayed like that for a bit before you were interrupted by Lee Know’s voice that shouted from his room, “You two better be decent because we’re all hungry!” Chan and you pulled apart to just look at each other and laugh.

“Come out and eat and don’t forget to thank her for the food!” Chan shouted back as he took your hand and lead you to the table. All the boys rushed out as if they were all waiting for that exact moment. The night continued as they told you every little detail about how they were told they won the award and being led backstage to when they accepted it. They couldn’t show you the award since the managers took it to the company but they described the shape in great detail. Eventually, the adrenaline wore down and you saw a few yawns mixed in with the laughter.

“I should probably head back now, once again I’m so proud of all of you,” you said as you stood up and looked each of them in the eyes. Chan stood up wordlessly as he grabbed his and your jacket. You almost spoke up to tell him that he didn’t have to walk you back but he gave you a look as he handed you your jacket and you kept silent. There was a chorus of ‘bye’s and ‘come back again soon’ from the boys as the two of you walked out the door.

“Thanks again for coming today,” Chan said as he held your hand and gave it a light squeeze. “I know it probably wasn’t easy…” Chan didn’t finish his sentence but you knew what he meant.

“This was probably the happiest I’ve been in December in a long time.” You squeezed his hand back and looked at him, “I don’t think December will ever be my favorite month but being with you and the boys makes it slightly better.” You weren’t sure you would ever get over the pain of losing him but you knew with Chan by your side there would be days when the pain wasn’t so bad.

“I’m glad because for me… you make everything slightly better.”

“We’re both in a sappy mood huh?” You teased while Chan let out a loud laugh.

“You had to ruin it huh?” He teased back as he pulled your interlinked handed until you two were touching shoulders.

“Anything to make you laugh I guess,” you replied. The two of you had reached your apartment building and you looked toward Chan to ask, “do you want to come up?”

“Before that, there’s something I need to tell you,” Chan turned so that he was fully facing you and grabbed your other hand as well. You felt slightly nervous at the serious expression on his face.

“What do you need to tell me?”

“I know when we started this we both agreed that it wasn’t a serious relationship.”

“Just two souls and bodies who need comforting,” you quoted the words you had told him that first night.

“I said I couldn’t make time for a relationship but I always want to make time for you, to hang out with you, to be with you. When you’re not around a piece of me feels like it's missing. I like you so much that I want you by my side officially. I know it won’t be easy with me being an idol but I promise I will do my best to protect you and take care of you and-”

“Chan,” you cut him off before he could continue rambling and you saw the panicked look in his eyes. “Just ask me out already,” you said with a little giggle that you couldn’t keep. Chan relaxed and looked at you with so much love you thought you would melt.

“Will you officially go out with me?”

“Of course.”

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