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ceruleanharley · 5 years ago

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anyways, for all of you preparing for cdth here’s a recap of the dream thieves written by maggie herself for recaptains.co.uk

also just read it cuz it’s hilarious as hell (also also she recapped first 3 books)

in short

The Dream Thieves is the second book in the four-book Raven Cycle. The sequel follows four private school boys (Gansey, Adam, Ronan, and Noah), three professional psychics (Calla, Maura, and Persephone), two cars (an elderly but powerful Camaro named the Pig and a brutish but nuanced Mitsubishi named the Mitsubishi), and one clever and judgmental girl who is shorter than the author (Blue). Gansey still searches the mountains of Virginia for the legendary Welsh king Glendower, a quest made more plausible by the group’s discovery of a creepy, gorgeous, sentient, magical, adjective, adjective forest called Cabeswater. In The Dream Thieves, however, all of this takes a back seat to Ronan’s confession on the last page of The Raven Boys: he can take things out of his dreams. Things you should remember: The book takes place in Henrietta, VA, a town crossed by a ley line — an invisible energy path. Noah is dead: he creepily reenacts his own death without noticing. Blue is cursed: if she kisses her true love, he’ll die. Gansey is deathly allergic to bees. Also remember: Ronan’s father Niall was murdered mysteriously before book 1 began, and his mother Aurora became catatonic directly afterward. She remains motionless as the Barns, the Lynch family home, though none of her sons can see her: Niall’s will forbids the brothers from returning home. Oh, also remember: In the last book, Adam Parrish made a hasty bargain with the creepy, gorgeous, sentient, magical, adjective, adjective forest. He promised to be its hands and its eyes. No, nobody else knows what the hell that means either. WTH, Adam. Cue some light summer driving music. Let’s do this thing.

what happened in The Dream Thieves

Ronan has three secrets. 1. His scoundrel father could take things out of his dreams. 3. Ronan can also take things out of his dreams. #2? There was no 2. What? It’s probably nothing. It’s just the wind.

Ronan demonstrates his secret for the boys and Blue. Blue, by the way, is 100% not in love with Gansey. She hasn’t been staring at him for a page and a half. He does not have a great mouth. It’s just the wind.

Here is a thing that’s not the wind: The Gray Man, the hitman who killed Niall Lynch, has come to town looking for something called the Greywaren. He kicks the stuffing out of Ronan’s older brother Declan and questions him. Although 90% of Raven Cycle readers and characters dislike Declan, the author would like to point out that Declan handles the interrogation with due dignity.

Gansey’s mother quietly runs for Congress in the background.

As the boys and Blue riding back from exploring in the Camaro, a Mitsubishi pulls up alongside. Inside is Kavinsky, an Aglionby student named after the French house artist of the same name (who is not fond of the tender homage, the author sadly notes). His eyeballs say LET’S RACE. My, thinks Ronan to himself with a curled lip, that boy is certainly one hundred percent not attractive. “My,” Gansey says out loud with a curled lip, “that boy is one hundred percent not attractive.” “Asshole,” notes Blue. Adam adds, “There is no point racing with him as we’re carrying four living passengers which results in a loss of 7.5 horsepower for each of us using even the most forgiving of weight gain to power loss formulas.” Ronan concludes that his friends suck and are no fun.

The Gray Man likes Henrietta. He decides he could really spend some quality time here, if it weren’t for his employer, Colin Greenmantle, the man who really wants the Greywaren: an object rumored to allow one to pull things from dreams.

Back at Monmouth Manufacturing, the gutted hipster warehouse palace the boys live in, Ronan tries to describe to Gansey how his dream-to-reality process works. He makes a small gay joke, which is funny because he is definitely not interested in boys, and then he shows Gansey what he has just pulled from his dream: a wooden puzzle box that translates phrases from old languages.

The next day, Blue waitresses at Nino’s as the boys discuss the puzzle box and Gansey’s dead Welsh royal boyfriend Glendower. Kavinsky appears and gives a pile of leather bracelets identical to the ones Ronan already wears. He also makes a “your mama” joke because what else do you get for the man who has everything?

The Gray Man explores Henrietta using fancy energy devices. The Greywaren supposedly gives off energy when used, but so does this ley line thing. The Gray Man’s brother calls as he works, but he doesn’t pick up. He finds a twisted, black rose plant somehow affected by the strange energy lines in Henrietta. Cool, thinks the Gray Man. Too bad my brother is such an off-screen creeper.

Adam discovers Aglionby tuition is going up. Bad news: he is still poor.

Adam discovers he’d like to kiss Blue. Bad news: she doesn’t want him to.

Cue: fight. Cue: cold shower. Cue: landlady informing Adam that, strangely enough, his rent has been reduced the exact same amount the tuition raise. This sounds suspicious like charity to Adam. Who could be pointing their charity gun at him? GANSEY!!?? A box gets kicked in this chapter.

While Ronan, Gansey, and Noah are hanging around the Dollar City — because that’s what cool rich kids with lots of expendable income do — Adam calls. He’s seen a ghost. Mon dieu, says Gansey. Ghosts? In this series? As Gansey talks on the phone, Ronan notes that he is a fine-looking rich boy and that this pisses him off. The idea of home also pisses him off. This whole pissing chapter pisses him off. A snow globe full of glitter gets dropped in this chapter.

Later, Gansey carefully asks Adam if he would like to go to his mother’s Congressional party in D.C. “Nothing bad will happen there,” he promises. “It will not be a plot point or anything.” In the background, Ronan throws Noah out of the window.

Ronan takes some time to dream an exact copy of Kavinsky’s white sunglasses.

At Sunday Mass, Declan tells Ronan to keep his head down and not hang out with Kavinsky. I know, we don’t know why he bothers. Ronan leaves and promptly finds Kavinsky. Ronan tosses the copied sunglasses into the Mitsubishi. Then they race, as one does after Mass.

The Gray Man stops by 300 Fox Way for research. He can’t help but notice that Maura, Blue’s mother, is a little foxy. She can’t help but notice that he is a little foxy too. He tells them he’s a hit man, then quotes a little Anglo-Saxon poetry to break up the heavy mood. Calla makes him a drink.

While the ladies of 300 Fox Way are occupied stealing the Gray Man’s wallet, the boys and Blue travel to Cabeswater to search for Glendower. The group discovers that the creepy, gorgeous, sentient, magical, adjective, adjective forest is missing.

GASP WHAT

The Camaro breaks down.

SPOILER: It’s the alternator.

HOW DOES A WHOLE FOREST GO MISSING WHAT WHAT

That night, Ronan has a nightmare about a mask that fuses to Adam’s face. Noah wakes him just as he is ripping it — and Adam’s skin — off. But it’s too late. Ronan has also manifested one of his night terrors, which are clawed, beaked, greasy birdmen who want Ronan dead.

Gansey and Ronan kill one of the night horrors, but one of them gets away. There is a gross sentence with a box cutter in this chapter.

The boys and Blue violate Niall Lynch’s will to bury the bird man at the Barns. They discover the Barns is full of sleeping animals — every living thing Niall Lynch ever dreamed into being has fallen asleep upon his death. Including Ronan’s mom, Aurora.

WHAT SHE’S A DREAM CREATURE WHAT NIALL DREAMED HIMSELF A WOMAN WHAT FEMINISM GOES BONK

A wall gets punched in this chapter. Also Ronan snuggles a baby mouse.

In light of Ronan being the product of a dream-mama, they convince him to talk it out with Calla. She says dream objects have no soul of their own, so therefore, when the dreamer dies, the object falls into stasis, unless the object is put back into a dream. “Hey,” says Ronan. “You know what’s dreamy? The creepy, gorgeous, sentient, magical, adjective, adjective forest.”

THAT’S MISSING, REMEMBER?.

The boys and Blue explore a lake on the leyline and find an old shield boss and an ancient Camaro wheel. No, actually ancient. 500 years old. That’s what we call a “classic.”

The Gray Man picks through the boys’ hipster factory palace while they’re out. As he is carefully and respectfully prying through their private things, two random thugs break in and begin actually tossing the place. The Gray Man is so offended! This is not the respectful way to break into someone’s home. So he kills them. He also calls Maura to flirt with her.

Kavinsky also stops by Monmouth Manufacturing to drop off dozens of forged drivers licenses, all with Ronan’s face.

Assuming Kavinsky trashed Monmouth, Gansey and Ronan track down Kavinsky at one of his “substance parties.” They don’t get a lot of information, but Gansey imperiously and nobly throws a Molotov cocktail into a Volvo and Ronan lights the Mitsubishi on fire while Kavinsky stands really close to him. It probably doesn’t sound hot in this summary, but I swear to you, it’s pretty sweaty, especially if you’re the sort that goes for cars, fire, and felonies.

Maura and the Gray Man go on a date. The Gray Man talks about hiding from his sociopathic brother who tormented him as a child. He also talks Anglo-Saxon poetry, because he knows what the ladies like. Then they kiss, which, finally. Someone should get kissed in this series.

Ronan has a dream that’s sweatier than the substance party chapter, especially if you’re the sort who goes for tattoos or Catholics or French house artists. This is chapter 30, also known as METAPHOR CITY

Gansey’s sister Helen flies Adam and Gansey to D.C. in her helicopter. The boys call the old professor Malory for ideas about Cabeswater’s disappearance. Malory speculates that something might be robbing the ley line of energy. Then they talk a little bit about fancy show pigeons. You know, I wrote this book, and that sounds crazy even to me.

Back at Monmouth, Blue and Noah kiss in a recreational way, since she doesn’t have to worry about killing HIM.

Ronan realizes his father has left some kind of clue at the bottom of his will: a sentence in a mysterious language that Ronan translates with the puzzle box.

In D.C., Adam mingles at the Gansey Congressional party. He is feeling pretty crazy; he’s been hearing voices & seeing ghosts. He also hates people, it turns out, especially people with champagne. Then the power goes out; everyone hears a voice singing “The Raven King, make way for the Raven King” in Latin. This is not how these things normally go.

Back in Henrietta, Ronan uses a set of dreamed up keys to steal the Camaro and drag race with Kavinsky, who mysteriously has another Mitsubishi. As they race, a night horror lands on the Camaro and he wrecks it. Kavinsky returns to shoot the night horror and collect Ronan in his car.

Kavinsky reveals that he, too, is a dream thief. He shows Ronan a field of 100 nearly identical white Mitsubishis, which is how you can tell Maggie Stiefvater wrote this book.

Gansey and Adam fight. Gansey calls Blue for some solace. It’s sort of touching.

The next morning, Gansey discovers Adam has gone missing. After the entire Gansey family searches the neighborhood, Adam finally calls. He forgot himself and walked miles down the interstate.

Why would Adam do such a thing as forget his own body? Oh right, because he made a bargain with a creepy, gorgeous, sentient, magical, adjective, adjective forest.

Kavinsky teaches Ronan how to drink, get high, and get things from dreams. Ronan learns how to steal big things from his dream and also that this savage dreaming is what is draining the ley line … and making the creepy, gorgeous, sentient, magical, adjective, adjective forest disappear.

Ronan dreams a new copy of Gansey’s Camaro — perfectly battered and terrible, just the way he likes it, not like that’s a metaphor or anything — and then abandons Kavinsky rather rudely.

The Gray Man, meanwhile, has figured out that the Greywaren is Ronan. He glumly informs Maura, who of course already knows. The Gray Man doesn’t want to kidnap Ronan, but Greenmantle tells him that if he doesn’t return with the Greywaren, he will tell SociopathicBrother where the Gray Man is.

Calla does some psychic analysis on the shield boss and Camaro wheel from the lake. She tells Blue: “they were dragging him at this point … they meant to bury this with him, but it was too heavy. They left it behind.” Then, about the wheel: “He’s not alone when he leaves the car behind.” She also mutters about how some people use time over and over.

Back in Henrietta, Adam demands to know why Blue won’t kiss him. She tells him about her curse. And she tells him that he’s not going to be her true love anyway, so. SANITY GOES BONK

Adam, off his gourd both magically and mentally, allows Persephone to conduct a ritual to connect him more securely to Cabeswater while allowing his mind to remain his own. Persephone, being a creepy creature herself, warns him that the others won’t understand his change. Is she really qualified for psychiatric advice? We’ll probably find out in book 3.

Gansey and Blue go on a drive to feel repressed and not discuss how they feel about Adam’s strangeness or each other, so of course they end up discussing both of these things. They pretend-kiss, agree they cannot torment Adam by dating, and then Gansey says “now we never speak of it again.” Sure, Gansey, sure.

Now that Ronan has gotten Kavinsky out of his system — though Kavinsky has not got Ronan out of his — Ronan feels … okay. He chooses what to dream, for once, and he chooses to dream of his dead father. They have a goodbye moment that Stiefvater is really proud of.

Gansey convinces the Gray Man not to kidnap Ronan. Instead, the Gray Man intends to pretend to have stolen the Greywaren and then run from Henrietta, drawing Greenmantle’s attention elsewhere.

Meanwhile, Adam and Persephone drive all over the area performing small repairs to the ley line, strengthening the energy to make it more possible for Cabeswater to appear again.

Chapter 56 is a wonder of pacing.

how did it end?

Furious at being abandoned, Kavinsky kidnaps Ronan’s younger brother Matthew to blackmail Ronan into coming to his 4th of July party. When Gansey, Ronan, and Blue get to the party, Kavinsky goes into his dreams to get something to challenge Ronan with. Falling asleep as well, Ronan finds that they both dream of standing in Cabeswater. Kavinsky steals a fire dragon and vanishes as he wakes. Ronan chooses to request instead of steal from Cabeswater. But the forest is drained from Kavinsky’s thieving and can’t manifest something for Ronan to use as a weapon. Adam appears in the nick of time to restore energy to the ley line using his new woo-woo balance. He also tells Ronan he figured out Ronan paid the rent. Cabeswater, newly charged, grants Ronan one of his dreaded night horrors — only now the horror no longer hates him and will fight for him instead. This chapter should be called METAPHOR CITY, PART II. When Ronan wakes, the night horror and fire dragon fight, and ultimately Kavinsky’s fire dragon kills Kavinsky. Meanwhile, the Gray Man was leading the other thugs and his sociopathic brother out of Henrietta. With the ley line restored to full energy, he realizes that the Greywaren’s energy footprint will no longer stand out dangerously. The Gray Man convinces the thugs that the Greywaren doesn’t exist. Then, finally he faces up to his SociopathicBrother. He shoots him, twice. Hit men. Seriously. They think there is only one answer to every question. Ronan dreams a new will that allows him to return to the Barns and then takes his catatonic mother to Cabeswater, where she immediately wakes up. Then he tells the reader that Adam Parrish is his second secret. Blue discovers that during all of these shenanigans, her mother has disappeared. She’s left behind just a note: “Glendower’s underground. So am I.” Readers howl in annoyance and Stiefvater laughs cruelly. /fin summer driving music.

link

the raven boys

blue lily lily blue

#trc #maggie stiefvater #the raven cycle #the raven boys #the dream thieves #blue lily lily blue #trb #tdt #bllb #trc recap #call down the hawk #cdth #ronan lynch #gangsey #long post

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seenashwrite · 8 years ago

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Nash’s 200th Follower Celebration Challenge!

Get your spy gear ready.

We’re gonna take inspiration from Archer, y’all.

I haven’t personally seen this used in a challenge [at least in my circle]. It is so full of potential, from snark to sexy times to knock-your-socks-off shock. Even if you aren’t familiar with the source, the prompts are so very tasty, I can’t imagine each & every writer won’t find at least ONE to gobble up.

*** 120 Prompts! So just one writer apiece *** ---> YOU KNOW WHAT?? SCREW IT! Send me THREE!!!!

But! There’s a challenging bonus at the bottom [#121] with NO LIMIT TO THE AMOUNT OF PEOPLE WHO WANT TO TRY IT!

I’d recommend just a “scene” versus an entire fic, or tack it on to your actual entry in a weird prologue or epilogue, something of that ilk. It’s nuts. I’m not overselling the nuttiness, here. Weave some magic. EXAMPLE

Full guidelines at the bottom.

THE ONES THAT TOTALLY COULDA BEEN IN AN SPN EPISODE:

1. "Team Live Badass"? That's the best you could come up with?

2. Oh, I thought we were laughing at the dead people we set on fire. @wrenwritesometimes

3. AHHHH! The dust! It's like being shot in the eyes by a glitter gun!

4. Oh, you don't look like a whore... an idiot, maybe? Or both! Yes! A whore-diot! @jalove-wecallhimdean

5. --- What is this herpes business? --- Bad joke... and a false alarm. @itswitchcraft-not-googlemaps

6. Wanna try yanking on the pipe?

7. You ass, for the love of all that's green, take me and the rabbit to the lettuce store! @wrenwritesometimes

8. Eat a buffet of dicks. @hannahindie

9. --- And now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go kill some evil clowns. --- [long awkward pause] --- Do you have an erection?

10. You're just gonna leave him with a grenade stuck up his ass?

11. It would be rude not to eat her pie, which I assume is not only hot, but also moist... although hopefully not flaky.

12. Nothing can make up for almost killing me over a briefcase of what I can only assume is either plutonium or a human soul.

13. Oh don't worry. He may be a vain, selfish, lying, and quite possibly alcoholic man-whore, but gambling is one vice he doesn't have. @fanforfanatic

14. I want it on record that I think this is a terrible plan.

15. They say the devil's in the details... and silk pajamas.

SNARK-A-PALOOZA:

16. All I've had today is, like, six gummy bears and some scotch. @wrenwritesometimes

17. For I am a sinner in the hands of an angry God. Bloody Mary, full of vodka, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me now and at the hour of my death, which I hope is soon. Amen. @butiaintgonnaloveem

18. --- Every single time we come here, we have to help you get rid of a dead body. --- Well, you've only been here twice. @senselesssamii

19. Swear to god, you people make me want to pump nerve gas through the vents. @impalaimagining

20. Why is your instinctive response to run toward explosions? @impandagrl

21. On second thought, I very much prefer to be taken alive. Just let me clear the ol' browser history aaaand...

22. Is it murder if they were my own clones? I'm seriously asking. @littlegreenplasticsoldier

23. I've always wanted to fight on top of a moving train. @amanda-teaches

24. I've never seen an ocelot! You guys, look at its little spots! Look at its tufted ears!

25. If this doesn't work, we just paid a hundred bucks for liquid fart.

26. Oh my god - I'm gonna die in a toilet stall, just like the gypsy woman said!

27. I swear, if you throw that computer on the floor one more time, you’ll wake up in a mental ward with total amnesia under someone else’s name! @idreamofhazel

28. You just killed, like, ten pirates.

29. -- Grilled cheese. -- What? -- Grill me a cheese. -- I'm not grilling you a cheese. ME!

30. The Russians turned me into the unholy abomination of metal fused with flesh that now stands before you.

31. --- I swear, if anyone saw me in this awful van... --- How could they, with this illegal-ass window tint? Dude, this van is like, rolling probable cause.

32. Not really the explosive climax I thought it was gonna be.

33. There's a zoo here?

34. What in the name of pre-paid venereal disease do you think you're doing?!

35. Are you not rampaging? I thought you were rampaging. ---> AVAILABLE AGAIN!!!!

36. Hundred people surveyed, number one answer's still on the board: Name the douchebag who's in charge! @roxy-davenport

37. Why would you think it's okay to share that?

38. You do realize there's a finite supply of Vaseline in the universe.

39. --- So then it's settled. We're a-go on Operation... what should we call it? --- Dick Sledge.

40. I saved her life! Go ask that dick I set on fire!

41. You want me to take a baby to a murder? @impalaimagining

42. You do realize you're in huge trouble - and now I have to spend my first Friday off in forever devising some bizarre punishment for you? ---> AVAILABLE AGAIN!

43. Have you no sense of decency? That bathroom’s like a… a war crime.

44. Hey, you awake? ‘Cause this is about to get weird. @klaineaholic

45. That's disgusting - if I wanted to look at your bare feet, I'd sneak in and do it while you were asleep.

46. Better pill up - you're assisting with the surgery.

47. --- Frickin' head's poundin', I'm sweatin' booze and my mouth's killin' me! --- You're the one who stuffed four pool balls in it.

48. Holy shit, you geeks are badass. @uselessace

49. You're ruining your life, you idiot! And making it hard to drop a deuce.

50. Right, because you walked into Strippers’ Discount Warehouse and said, “Help me showcase my intellect". @butiaintgonnaloveem

51. I've had good results with Ether.

52. Hey, will you choke me a little bit? @littlegreenplasticsoldier

53. That stolen lemur bit one of your prostitutes right in the face and she says she can't go to the hospital because she's, quote, "tripping balls”.

54. --- Jeez, you're still taping bum fights?! --- No, now I'm into something... darker.

55. That is my foot in your face - smell the embarrassment.

56. Oh! And, uh, by the way, try not to be unconscious for too long - it's super bad for you. @withstarryeyes

57. Both of you imagine shutting up! @uselessace

58. Idiots doing idiot things, because they’re idiots.

59. --- Please tell me that's a smoke grenade. --- Okay... it's not, though. ----> AVAILABLE AGAIN!!!!! :)

60. Sorry - I was picturing Whore Island. @kayteonline

61. Somebody smells like they ate the ass-end out of a northbound cow.

62. I don't know... sometimes I think I'd like to adopt a little baby... so I could abandon it at a mall.

63. Well, he died doing what he loved - getting shot. @withstarryeyes

64. Baby, I was emotionally shattered - which turns out to be kind of a panty-dropper. @hannahindie

65. Now what am I going to spread on my toast? Your tears?

66. Sorry, that’s just a, uh, sympathy boner. @pinknerdpanda

67. Holy shit! Yogurt is amazing! Why have I never tried yogurt?! @littlegreenplasticsoldier

68. Seriously, call Kenny Loggins - 'cause you're in the DANGER ZONE. @kayteonline

69. I’m afraid the lemur got into the pudding cups.

70. I'm sorry, are you addressing me? Because your authority is not recognized in Fort Kickass. @kittenofdoomage

71. Does internet porn know you're cheating on it? @klaineaholic

72. No, it's too dirty - it's full of whatever alligators shit out, which I can only assume is people.

73. Oh my god! What shade is that? Crack whore red?!

74. Man, if I don't get some spaghetti and meatballs, I may literally die.

75. You used-panty vending sons of bitches!

76. Thank you both for all that you did do which, again, was nothing. @pinknerdpanda

77. Damn, dog! That’s inappropes!

78. If a single one of these has left the building, I will personally sew you into a canvas bag full of rats and throw that bag into the river. @littlegreenplasticsoldier

79. Who do I have to murder around here to get this damn thing to make some ice? ----> AVAILABLE AGAIN!!!! :)

80. I'm sorry, what's that? I can't hear you over the sound of my deafening awesomeness. @amanda-teaches

81. Don’t try to body-shame me, dog tits.

82. Is it just me, or does it smell like finger?

83. Ahahaha, man, you never rent a mule - ya lease that surly bastard.

84. When we first started going out, I may have... injected a tracking device into your body. @fanforfanatic

85. And I don't want another one of your sullen whores using my medicine cabinet like a Pez dispenser.

86. Because I've been lying in scorpion piss for two hours in the sun-blasted shit-hole which is Texas, waiting for a stupid truck.

87. If I cared about what you do on the weekend, I'd stick a shotgun in my mouth and pull the trigger with my toes. ME!

88. Punk-ass bitches! ----> AVAILABLE AGAIN!!!! :)

89. And instead of doing my job, I was here - half-drunk and having amazing sex.

90. Well, no wonder this all went tits-up.

91. Right? And I know it sounds crazy, but I like them as much as cocaine!

92. Next time, remind me to get shot in the head. ME!

93. You were the one yapping your head off about my damn teacup pig!

94. Who wants their ass beat first? And before you decide, keep in mind that I'm gradually going to get more tired, but also gradually more Berserker.

95. So you're not planning to blindfold me and hide me in a bomb shelter with limited oxygen and send my family cryptic notes about how to find me in a race against time for my life?

DEFINITELY CLASSY:

96. Who are you supposed to be, Topper Bottoms? Stern yet sensual skipper of the U.S.S. Rough Service?

97. You better pray to god it wasn't you who hit me. Because whoever it was hits like a little bitch of a girl, who was born with some kind of bitch of a birth defect, so that instead of a fist, she just has this tiny bitch of a nubbin.

98. I don't care! Having said that, would you please come into this dirty toilet stall and have sex with me?

99. Because you - prolapsed rectum that you are - are infatuated with her, whose cobwebby old snooch, by the way, I can smell from here! @butiaintgonnaloveem

100. --- The thought of me dying gives you an erection? --- Just half of one - the other half would have missed you. @kayteonline

101. I swear to god, you could drown a toddler in my panties right now. ME!

102. Stop - my penis can only get so erect. ME!

103. Can you not rub your dick in my mother's pantyhose, please?

104. --- Oh my god! You killed a hooker! --- Call girl! She was a---- --- No, when they're dead, they're just hookers!

105. Vincent Van Go-fuck-yourself.

106. Okay, we're off to get our scrotums waxed!

107. --- Well, maybe you're lame! --- Maybe you should shut your dick holster.

108. You’re a large-diameter dickhole.

109. First, see if he wants a beej...

110. Water? Oh, never touched the stuff. Fish fuck in it. @kayteonline

111. --- Oh god, it tastes worse than it smells! --- Man, if I had a nickel for every time I heard a guy say that.

112. Who, me?! No! No, I've been up here the whole time, having some phone sex! Just jackin' it, on the telephone. @fandommaniacx

113. I am literally wet with jealousy. @klaineaholic

114. Why does this chair have no seat... and WHAT IS IN HIS ASS?! And unless it was the creepy-old-people-bondage-sex police, why would anyone break in here and shoot him?!

115. Because I have sex with actual women! My girlfriend's not equal parts the internet, a tube of Kentucky jelly, self-loathing, and a sock. @hannahindie

116. And what part of your job, exactly, is groping my ass? @wideawakeandwriting

117. --- Maybe you should've thought about that before you blew it! --- I blew jack shit! --- Name-dropper.

118. After this, I am going to go home, watch NCIS, and masturbate until my fingers bleed. @itswitchcraft-not-googlemaps

119. --- Was that before or after you got caught fondling a teenager? --- Well, obviously before - after, it was all French Armed Forces and dick stitches.

120. You can't put a price on good pussy. @wideawakeandwriting

AND IF YOU ARE UP TO THE CHALLENGE:

121. No no no no - Like, a big, sweaty fireman carries you out of a burning building, lays you on the sidewalk and you think – Yeah, okay, he's gonna give me mouth-to-mouth – but instead he just starts choking the shit out of you, and the last sensation that you feel before you die is he’s squeezing your throat so hard that a big wet blob of drool drips off his teeth, and just – flurp – falls right onto your popped-out eyeball.

Bravery incarnate(s): @kittenofdoomage @fanforfanatic @uselessace @butiaintgonnaloveem

1. Supernatural only, please-and-thank-you [adjacent is fine, too - such as having O.C.s carry the bulk of the dialogue weight because we’re seeing the story through their eyes while, say, being hunters working with S & D or Jody & Donna or whatever your heart desires]

2. Pick your faves & any back-ups [and if you’re gonna take a run at #121] ---> shoot ‘em to me at DEAR NASH & I’ll hit you back with a confirmation

3. Write & post your thing ---> don’t forget to tag me somewhere & use this in your first handful of tags: #Nash200

4. Have it in between June 11th - June 17th [about 6 weeks from original posting] ---> TAKE TIL JULY! SOUND GOOD???? ;)

5. Definitely Do: the “theme” you are most comfortable with / feel you write the best / have the most fun on - these prompts lend themselves to snark and/or sexy times, but lord knows y’all angst-devotees will find a way [that’s fine, too!]

6. Hard Pass: dom/sub; “kinks”; alpha/beta/omega; Wincest/any incest; real person fic [no Jensen/Jared/Misha/etc.]

7. Length can be anywhere from haiku to vignette to... well, keep it around the max length that you’d want to read if it were your challenge, ‘k? And don’t you dare spend more than a weekend on it - if it becomes laborious for you, holler at me, we’ll find you another prompt or you can drop out, no worries.

PS: If you wanna stick Archer characters into the mix? Bring. It. On.

PPS: Walls of text & bulk of text not behind “read more” = An Unhappy Nash + An Unhappy Dash

P3S: And because it’s my party, if Dean is in your story and he calls someone “Sweetheart” ? If it isn’t in a jerk-face, patronizing manner, I’m gonna foam at the mouth

THANK YOU for coming along with me on this ever-evolving funtastic SPN fandom ride! -Nash.

#supernatural fanfiction #spn fanfic #SPN Meets Archer #Archer Meets SPN #Nash200 #SeeNashWrite's 200th Follower Celebration

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