#but that somehow made me feel like i had deleted whatever writing skills i had left

[mukuharakazui]

Never mind, I've decided that this actually is a problem. Kazui is quite clear about his situation in his T2 voice drama--at least as clear as he could bring himself to be at that point. He clearly sings about love and wanting to be loved, even in ways with no sexual undertones or innuendo. He's said that he's had romantic crushes on people.

The fact that there are people who are MORE adamant on expressing their ideas of him as aromantic than as gay is absolutely batshit. As I mentioned before, readings of characters like Yuno or Mahiru through an aromantic lens deeply enhance their stories and themes, plus add to the tragedy of the way cultural values have affected their realities.

However, being willing to erase a core facet of Kazui's character in order to interpret him in a way that contradicts a very clearly-expressed and very marginalized sense of self that he grappes with as his primary character conflict is some sort of fandom-brained supervillain behavior to me.

"People can have whatever interpretations they want" is a statement that doesn't work in Milgram as it does with other art. No amount of repeating that will change that some characters have VERY clear core traits that relate to their "sins" that Otoiro has hammered down on us for the second trial to make sure that we understand what we're voting on in the 3rd trial, because that's the vote that really matters.

The gender-based pressures on Kazui DO change based on the full nature of his attraction, too, by the way. That's something nobody cares to touch in because. Well. I first assumed they have some internal alarms that sound as they realize it'll crumble their ideas to dust and therefore just don't acknowledge it at all. But then I realized they're probably not that smart on a sociocultural level and just genuinely haven't even considered that perspective despite gender norms being THE major pressure in Kazui's life (which, of course, his sexuality opposes). However, if you don't understand the real-life gay scenes that aren't mostly made up of terminally online people over 30, especially those in Japan, that would be a whole new thread in my "explain Kazui to Milgram fans like they're toddlers" series.

This feels like the same thing Eng fans keep pulling with Haruka, but that's other people's soapboxes to stand on regarding his developmental disability/ies. More on the autism-is-the-only-developmental-disability-or-disorder-I-know rocks that Eng Milgram fans live their whole lives and write every idea they have about Haruka using melted wax under on other people's posts.

At this point, if you cannot manage to get it through your thick skulls that Kazui is gay---if you are surrounded by gay people in your internet circles but your head is so far up your own ass that you somehow think that Kazui being gay isn't "enough" or that ignoring the distress he expresses over his romantic AND sexual wants is somehow "more progressive" than what Milgram is already giving to us with Kazui, then I suggest you pick up a book, look at some art, touch some grass, delete Tiktok, or do SOMETHING that will improve your media literacy skills and/or decrease your "I feel uncomfortable when we are not about me?" complexes I talked about in the first post.

sorry but eng milgram fans are stupid as fuck sometimes. "i feel uncomfortable when we are not about me" people will have their heads so far up their own asses when talking about a character who represents real issues that real people go through. but yeah having a gay man who struggles with his sexuality because of sociocultural (and parental, by extension) pressures isn't "inclusive enough" because he's.....not aromantic? "arophobia in the milgram fandom" and it's acknowledging that the gay man is gay. what kind of echo chamber do you have to isolate yourself inside to say things like this on the internet. do you realize that you can make your own nuanced aromantic characters. do you realize how cartoonishly homophobic it is to wrap your head around 180 degrees and call an incredibly true-to-life story of a gay man ridden with shame and guilt that includes the nuance that come with potentially hurting other people not "inclusive enough"

[loudlooks]

Close Shave

Is Tiva Fic Amnesty still a thing now that Ziva’s officially back? BTW, I’m totally ignoring the “not every fic needs to be published” rule here, consider that a warning.

I don’t remember what time frame I pictured this in, maybe season 5 or 6? As usual, no plot. Loosely inspired by a scene from The X-files (which unfortunately wasn’t even MSR, except in my imagination).

Also on FF and AO3

Word count: 1805

A yank on the drawer handle revealed his electric shaver. Grabbing it with one hand, rubbing the scruff on his chin with the other, he looked up just in time to see Ziva roll her eyes.

“What?”

“Imagine if I shaved my legs at my desk,” she replied testily.

He raised an eyebrow and grinned widely, only mildly disappointed he hadn’t come up with that image before. “Nobody would get any work done,” he said as his eyes wandered to where her legs were hidden behind the cold, hard metal of her desk.

She turned towards her computer screen, but he caught the corners of her lips twitch ever so slightly.

“Think of the cleaning crew, Tony,” she said flatly.

Ignoring her comment, he tried to remember what her bare legs looked like while hitting the power button on his shaver. Silence greeted him and he pushed the switch once more.

Nothing.

Resisting the urge to smack it on the side of his desk, he muttered, “Damn it, I charged you yesterday.”

Turning the electric razor over and over in his hand, vigorously  pressing the button a few more times—surely it will work this time—he looked up when Gibbs dumped two items on his desk before heading to the elevator.

He picked up Gibbs’ straight razor and opened it carefully. As the blade glinted in the fluorescent light overhead, he met Ziva’s eyes across the bullpen, and deadpanned, “I think the boss wants me dead.”

She was beside him in a flash, admiring the lethal piece of steel with an eager smile. “I have not used one of those in years.”

“Why did you use a…” He stood up, pushing images of slit throats and blood stains to the back of his mind. “You know what, I don’t wanna know.” He grabbed the shaving gel and pointed it at her. “If I’m not back in ten, call Ducky and tell him to bring a body bag.”

He tried to walk around her, but Ziva stopped him with a finger to his chest. “I am very good with knives, I could give you a shave.”

Staring down at her smiling face, he raised an eyebrow. The gleam in her eyes both worried and excited him. He bit down a smile as angry hornets seemed to take up residence in his stomach.

“Someone’s an eager beaver.” He regretted the words as soon as they left his lips, images of her strong tan legs, and a skimpy bikini bottom flashed to the forefront of his mind.

She tilted her head and narrowed her eyes, it only made him want to stay in her personal space even longer. Accepting her offer would achieve just that. “Fine,” he said with a calmness he didn’t feel.

Her smile turned mischievous and his brain to mush; he’d always had a soft spot for her dangerous side. It haunted him in his dreams, and occasionally his nightmares.

She grabbed a small towel from her backpack, and almost speed-walked towards the men’s room. He followed her like a puppy—who’s the eager beaver now—his gaze focused on the sway of her hips.

The way she barged into the men’s room like she owned the place sent a tingle down his spine. She kind of did, he supposed, other agents always scattered like roaches afraid of the light when she walked in there.

“This isn’t going to be perfect,” Ziva said as she dumped the towel next to the sink, turned on the hot water tap, then grabbed a stack of paper towels from the dispenser. “But it will be fun.” Her gaze flicked down his body, briefly landing on his lips on the way up.

His smile wavered, then he grimaced into the mirror and rubbed his hands over his cheeks. “I don’t want to end up like Leatherface.” He ignored her look of confusion—as well as the disappointment in himself for once again skirting around their obvious physical attraction—and continued, “Isn’t it ironic that I trust you more with a razor sharp blade against my throat than behind the wheel of a car.”

She roughly pushed him aside with her hip, stepped in front of the sink and glared at his reflection. He patted his cheeks again, making sure that laser sharp look hadn’t rendered a shave unnecessary.

After soaking the towel with hot running water and wringing it out, she handed it to him, and told him to cover his face. He briefly complained about how ridiculously elaborate she was making things, but complied after she raised an eyebrow and tested the sharpness of the razor on a paper towel.

His face and ears warmed exponentially with each passing moment of awkward silence. “I feel like an idiot.” The towel covering his face only half responsible for his mixed feelings.

“Good.”

The hint of amusement in her voice was barely audible, but enough to release the tightness that had settled around his heart. A second later, Ziva pulled the towel away, made room next to the sink and easily lifted herself onto the countertop. As soon as she grabbed hold of his tie, pulling him in between her legs, any sense of awkwardness evaporated. He scanned her face intently, looking—hoping—for...for what exactly? The lingering smell of her shampoo heightened his senses, and he wondered, not for the first time, when she had started getting under his skin quite like this.

Ziva seemed unaffected, preoccupied with lathering up shaving gel in the palms of her hands.

Clinging to the belief that he had gotten better at reading her than even Gibbs, he hoped for a look, he’d settle for a glance—one of those furtive, yet exposed glances she sometimes sent him when she thought he wasn’t paying attention.

And there it was, so fleeting he would’ve missed it if he hadn’t been fixated on her every move. Unaware, her gaze immediately followed what her hands were doing—spreading the gel evenly all over his two-day stubble.

Emboldened by the evanescent look, he smiled faintly and placed his hands on either side of her legs. She narrowed her eyes at a spot close to his ear, fussing with the gel too long for it to be anything other than a distraction.

“Stop smiling,” she said quietly.

His smile widened, she briefly closed her eyes, then met his. “Tony.”

It never seized to amaze him how much she could say with just one word, his name. Not quite an admonishment, more of an acknowledgement, a “not now, but maybe later”.

She held the razor up, and he knew she was right; there wasn’t time to get into any of this now, he had to be clean-shaven and dressed to the nines in half an hour. Why was their timing always off?

He sighed and relaxed his face so she could get to work.

Pulling the skin taut with one hand, she placed the edge of the cold blade against his cheek with the other. “I haven’t done this in a while.”

His eyes flashed to hers. Was she talking about the shaving or that thing between them that they weren’t talking about? The mischievous grin appeared again, only this time it annoyed him more than anything else. He was tired of maintaining the status quo, evading his feelings with humor and banter.

As she moved the blade downwards in slow, even strokes that he could barely feel, he considered the possibility of having read her wrong. Maybe their physical closeness, the intimacy of trusting her to run a blade over his face and throat, had clouded his judgement.

“How attached are you to your sideburns?” She wasn’t even trying to hide the teasing in her voice.

His skin tingled as sweat began to form, frustration building as feelings of doubt settled deep down inside. “Can you stop joking.”

She looked at him with raised eyebrows. “That’s rich coming from you.”

“Hey, I joke to deflect.” Ziva narrowed her eyes. “And, occasionally out of boredom,” he conceded.

She lowered her hands, busied them with cleaning the blade, then looked at him decisively. “I know.” Inhaling deeply, she placed to razor on his other cheek. “Let us  just get this over with.”

Did she mean the shave, or the conversation they had been avoiding for years?

Her hands moved expertly over his face as his drifted to her thighs on their own volition. She stilled her movements, a beat passed before her gaze met his. Open and exposed she bit her bottom lip, then got back to work.

He didn’t dare move his hands until she rinsed the blade and carefully placed it aside. His fingers squeezed gently, feeling the strong muscle underneath the rough denim as she held his gaze.

She dabbed his face clean with wet paper towels, avoiding his gaze again, a myriad of emotions  washing over her eyes, eventually settling on fear.

“It will be dangerous,’ she said gravely.

It took him a moment to realize she was talking about the undercover op, not them. He grinned and squeezed her thighs reassuringly. “You’ll have my back.”

Shaking her head vigorously, she said, “No, Tony, I will be in the van down the road, it could take minutes before I…”

Smoothing her fingers over his cheeks,  her thumbs briefly caressed his lips and she made eye contact.

He smiled gently. “I’ll be careful, I’m gonna want another shave like this.”

She released a breath, fear fading from her eyes as she leaned in closer. Her lips touched his tentatively at first, then firmly. Claiming him, giving him a reason to be extra careful.

The sound of the door handle barely registered in his mind, and was swiftly followed by Ziva’s warm hands on his chest, pushing him backwards as she slid of the countertop, turned and smoothly wiped up some spilled water with a paper towel.

From the corner of his eye he saw the door open and a familiar figure walk in. Briefly looking at Ziva in the mirror, he noticed a light blush on her cheeks.

“Oh, hey, boss,” he said lightly.

Gibbs looked at him with scrutiny, then a gave a small nod. “Nice job, Ziver.”

She turned around, blush gone, that mischievous look that always stirred up the hornets’ nest in his stomach firmly in place. Smiling smugly, she looked from him to Gibbs, and said, “It’s not every day I have the opportunity to put I knife so close to DiNozzo’s throat.”

Gibbs smirked and walked past them without a second glance.

Feeling overly confident he winked at Ziva before quickly gathering his things, and catching up to her at the door. He glanced back at Gibbs, then opened the door for Ziva and whispered, “That was a really close shave.”

[thequeenindisguise]

SOMEWHERE IN NEVERLAND (ICHIRUKI AU)

Here it is! My first and probably last entry for Ichiruki Month 2021... to be more specific, it’s for Day 11 with the prompt “What do you dream of?”  

I think the last time I participated was like, what? Five years ago? Yikes. I didn’t even improve haha and okay, I know somewhere, sometime ago, someone has already done this AU though. And this was based off the amazing work of jon-lock from deviant art so this would look like crap next to his work. I mean I suck at coloring and at a bunch of other things, I know! But I just really felt like doing this. 

I was actually thinking of writing a fic about it, but if I’m the one doing it, it’s probably going to be multi-chaptered and I just can’t commit to that. So if you know of any fics or fanart with the same theme, hope you can link them to me 😊 I’d really love to dive myself in them.

But despite saying that, it didn’t stop me from writing this silly one-shot called Somewhere In Neverland feel free to read and review there, if you have the time.

And now, if you read through all that, thank you so much for your time! Be safe, hope you enjoy the rest of your day and the rest of Ichiruki Month :D

And now for some more story time, you don’t need to read through this. It will be just me sharing some personal stuff… So feel free to move on with your life without this. Seriously. You can stop here if you just accidentally pressed the keep reading button, you are forgiven 😊

Oh… you’re still reading? Okay, then. So I’ve been really depressed lately, more on because my current job sucks, I just lost the opportunity to get my dream job, the pandemic’s still on-going and I just feel like nothing’s really going on with my life (T.T) I’m broke AF, it’s hard to fall asleep, my face is all pimply, I’ve gained a lot of weight and basically, this is just a low point for me. 

Okay, I know that there are other people with much bigger problems than what I’m going through right now so I just try to deal with it on my own. I made a fanart, just to feel like I’m focusing on something and I actually finished the thing just to ease my mind of my worries. It was kinda therapeutic and I kind of like the feeling of actually accomplishing something. And I even mustered up the courage to join the discord server for IR. My anti-social ass was proud of that. I was even thinking of posting this fanart there just to show everyone that I really appreciate them for welcoming me but at the last minute I chickened out but ended up posting it here? I don’t know either. I’m weird like that. Even though everyone there seemed really fun and supportive, I just… didn’t want to ruin the vibe with my negative aura (the latest chapter was enough to trigger everyone. Didn’t wanna add to that).

Anyway, thinking about these past horrible days and listening to some really sad songs, because why not add to the drama? I was listening to one song about running away to “Neverland” and it got me thinking wouldn’t it be great if I were to just stay a kid forever? That way I wouldn’t have to deal with the pressures of adulthood. Then I thought about Wendy from Neverland and somehow I remembered that on that 2nd Disney movie, she grew up. And to confirm it, I just had to search for that clip on youtube. And yes, it was the part where Peter saw her as an adult and oh god, I kid you not, I started bawling. One, because I didn’t realize that I ship them… oops… and I wondered if Wendy, even as an adult, ever thought of what it’d be like if she had stayed in Neverland. Then I also found this deleted scene from the live action movie which showed Peter reuniting with her, hoping to take her back but he couldn’t anymore because she’s all grown up, and he was so heartbroken by it but then she introduces him to her daughter, with who he takes with him (weird? Maybe that was why it was deleted haha).

And so, I’ve been thinking about it a lot and as always I ended up thinking about Bleach and IR because of the new chapter and all (which wasn’t released yet back then). And I wondered what would it be like if they were in Peter pan and Wendy’s shoes—but first off, I didn’t think Ichigo would fit the role of not growing up because I don’t know, despite being a teen, he looked matured and kinda scary? Kids would never go with him. He’ll be better as the Grinch of Christmas because kids would probably feel like they’ll be bullied even though he’s a nice guy. And so I realize, oh it’s better if we switch them up and make Rukia Peter Pan because she’d be looking young forever while Ichigo grows old (which was what I was expecting from Bleach but somehow they all seem to be aging at the same time now, with all the marriages and the making babies or whatever) And to parallel the manga I realized that maybe having Ichigo live his life (in the world of the living) and have a family would probably be something that Rukia would be really proud of and would be happy to see (Okay, hold up. Just to be clear, I still don’t like the ending for so many other reasons but if it had to go down with Ichigo making a family WITHOUT Rukia then this better be the damn reason for it and that’s to protect him by making him live a normal and safe life before they reunite again in SS. I rest my case.).

And so I connect all this to Day 11 – What do you dream of? Because, well, since the prompt really is up to interpretation… it can be like a “dream” in life? Or just maybe a dream at night? Anyway, this is what I dreamt of literally. Again, I’ve been thinking about it all the time lately  so I had to let it out. And of course, in relation to IR and in this AU setting, they probably dream of being together too (both in life and at night haha) <3

And that’s about it. I just want to leave this long message here so that when the time comes that I feel so much better, I’ll know what I was going through behind this not-so-good-but-a-little-better-than-my-other-works-so-far fanart and that one-shot that I tried my best to write despite my writing skills being very rusty, and know that it will be alright someday and that I’ll probably get through it whatever it was that I’m going through at this moment.

If you’ve reached until the end then wow. Bless your kind soul really and hope you have a great dinner and of course, thank you for lending me your ears or eyes (since you had to read). I may not know you but I really, really appreciate your time 😊

[kominum]

rewatching old sailor moon and thought of like... disgruntled tuxedo mask!corpse but with unrequited love because i’m a glutton for angst

wc: ~2.2k 

warnings: death of a minor character, implicit knowledge of sailor moon lore, modern twist, unedited

please send in ideas you might have that i could write short blurbs for! this was honestly fun to write. 

It’s a scratch he can’t itch. It’s what has him waking up in cold sweats, confused and moderately annoyed that his hard-earned sleep has been so rudely interrupted. He hates the cape, he hates the itchy suit, he abhors the top hat – and the only things he doesn’t really hate are his baton and endless supply of darkened roses.

The first time he transformed, he was half-asleep and struggling to understand why he was speeding down the highway and parking two blocks away from some random back alley. His pain was relatively dulled, which was surprising, and his body suddenly possessed a world of fighting skills that felt foreign yet familiar. All he could recognize was a slightly disheveled woman cursing and just trying her best against some odd form of demon spawn, and before he knew it, he’d thrown down a dark purple rose and engaged in combat. Once said woman found an opening, she took off her headband/tiara, performed a throw that would put professional frisbee players to shame, and the monster disintegrated into dust.

“Jesus Christ,” he panted, body hunched over and hands on his knees. “What the fuck was that?”

“More like who the fuck are you?”

“Fuck if I know,” he muttered and dusted himself off.  

“What’s with your get-up anyways?” She failed to hide her snickering. “You’re 3 decades behind.”

“Do I look like I want to fight in a suit? Plus, you’re fighting in some rendition of a schoolgirl uniform.” Her black thigh-high boots were killer, but he wasn’t about to give her the satisfaction.

“You should’ve seen what it was before, but I was able to make some changes. Good heads-up for you and—”

“Sailor Moon, are you okay?!”

Oh. So she’s got a talking cat, too. What in fresh hell was going on? Did he take something? But also—“Your name is Sailor Moon?”

“We’re working on the name change,” she grumbled, bending down to let said feline jump up her arm and settle on her shoulder. “Anyways, uh…thanks. I was kind of in a bind, but I’m usually not I swear. Good timing, I guess?”

“If that’s what you wanna call it.” But she was already in the wind, hopping from roof to roof with no inhibitions, and left him completely dumbfounded.

His silly attire dissolved back into his previous clothing as he ambled back towards his car, thought not exactly at his own will. But he shrugged, slid into the car seat, and dialed the only person he could think of who would readily pick up at this ungodly hour of…2:37AM. That was just the start, and he can’t tell if things went downhill from there.

-

He should backtrack.

He met you almost two years ago at a hospital.

You had been waiting anxiously for your boyfriend to come out of surgery after being in a bad car accident, biting your nails, occasionally pacing back and forth, smoothing your hands worriedly against your jeans, and gnawing your bottom lip to death. It was midday, sometime after lunch, and he’d come in for some routine checkup he can’t remember what for now, and sat a few seats away from you in the tiny hospital coffee shop. He’s no therapist or expert, but he highly doubted that any caffeine would alleviate your anxiety. Yet you sat there with two to-go cups and a granola bar wrapper, and something told him to stick around for now.

He’s never been one for a lot of small talk, but you looked to be about his age and no one else was with you. Tragedy tasted most bitter when alone, and some force of the universe told him to at least say something, anything. So he stuffed his hands into his hoodie and shuffled awkwardly to your table, tentatively asking a, “Hey, uh…is everything okay?”

You’d looked up at him with wild eyes on the verge of tears, heart battering against your chest, and the only intelligible thing that left your mouth was a “Huh?”

And he’d casted a gentle grin, eyes laced with a mixture of pity and concern, and asked again his first question. “My boyfriend’s in surgery. He got in a bad accident. There’s um…roughly two hours left, I think.”

“And you thought coffee would make it better?” He jutted his chin towards your large cups.

“Hot chocolate,” you chuckled. “I’m not keen on torturing myself like that, not now at least.”

“Well, I’ve got an appointment soon but I should be done before his surgery’s over…want me to come check up on you?”

Dumbfounded was the best way to describe your expression, and he was so close to retracting his offer before you gave him one of the most thankful smiles he’d seen in many years. “I’d really appreciate that.”

He nodded. “Sounds good then. Give me a sec.”

At the counter, he paid for another cup of hot chocolate and added in a chocolate chip cookie for good measure before bringing it back to you. “I hear chocolate helps.”

“Thank you, again. Go, don’t want to make you late.”

But an hour and a half later in the waiting area outside surgery, the doctor came out with a solemn expression, and you all but collapsed into the plastic chairs, tears leaking like waterfalls from your eyes. Part of him wanted to bail and go because there wasn’t much he could do, but it wouldn’t be right to leave you to drive home now. He wanted to make sure that you were calmed down, all cried out, and breathing properly so you could at least operate a vehicle safely.

The same unknown force had him offering you his number in case you needed anyone to talk to, yet the conversation sat empty for weeks until curiosity and guilt ate at him. He tapped out a message, deleting it, then another one, more deleting, before he settled on a plain, “It’s the guy from the hospital. I know it’s been a while but…how are you?”

Your reply was almost instantaneous, to which he worried if he’d accidentally woken you up at 4:13AM. First, it’s a casual, “hey, thanks for checking up on me! I’m doing okay,” but he knew better. And the other shoe dropped in the form of a simple, “I miss him.”

It’s a quiet, heartwarming friendship. You know nothing specific about him – he’s incredibly vague on any identifying information. Hell, you’d be willing to bet that the name at the hospital was a fake one. Nevertheless, he’s one of your closest friends. You know he mainly works online, has a lot of trouble sleeping, is chronically ill and has a number of medical conditions, his general disposition and feelings on things, but overall, just wonderfully easy to talk to.

Yet something just feels wrong about falling in love with him. It’s a horrid combination of guilt and disbelief. Are you rebounding? Are you subconsciously searching for your dead ex-boyfriend? Are you so desperate for romantic connections that you’ve twisted yourself into believing you love a man that you’ve seen fewer times than the number of fingers you have?

You come to peace with it when his custom ringtone chimes softly on your nightstand in the middle of the night. Rain or shine, stars or none, there’s nothing you wouldn’t do for him. Nothing has ever woken you up so quickly, not even alarms on interview days. “Hello?”

“Sorry, did I wake you up?”

“Kind of, but it’s fine. What’s up? Wait,” you interrupt yourself and listen carefully to your speaker. “Are you…driving?”

“…yeah.”

“Should I ask from or to where?”

“I…honestly don’t know. Something felt off, felt like I had to get out of my place and just fucking do something. So uh, I drove somewhere and just started driving back home.”

You curl up under your sheets on your side and plug your earbuds into the phone. “Well, did it get rid of whatever you were feeling?”

“I think so? Honestly couldn’t fucking tell you. Still really bizarre to me.”

“I’ll take your word for it,” you murmur. “Well, feel free to call me whenever you feel like that again.”

“I don’t wanna fuck up your sleep schedule though. Feel like it’ll happen more often than I’d like.”

“How about this – if I don’t pick up, it’ll just be my nice way of saying ‘fuck off, too busy sleeping right now’?”

A soft, deep chuckle warms your chest and cheeks. “Sounds good. So how’ve you been?”

“Well, you know…”

It’s the same night that you think you might have a chance at love again. You fall asleep with his voice weaving stories and tales in your ears and wake up to a message that says, “Wow, didn’t know I was so fucking boring that it made you snore so loud.” The hope that creeps through your veins is dangerous and thrums urgently whenever you get a call or message from him.

And as bright as a star, it all comes crashing down in a firey blaze.

You crash into a girl as mysterious and serenely beautiful as the moon with a talking black cat one afternoon. She exudes a gorgeous amount of confidence in her stance as she protects you from a creature that looks like it’s out of a horror video game, and you can only stare in awe. The cat from before yells instructions at you, throwing what looks like a pen with a red cap on it and you blindly follow them. Your subsequent red heels feel incredibly comfortable and you can’t remember the last time you wore a skirt – but there’s no time to ponder as you push the girl you were admiring out of harm’s way and somehow manage to direct fire at them from your fingertips.

The monster burns and screams in agony before getting hit with what looks like a glowing frisbee. Your savior wipes the dust off her outfit before extending a hand out to you, “Welcome to the club, Sailor Mars.”

Say what now?

“There’s gotta be a better name than that,” is the first thing you say as you get pulled up. She throws her head back and lets out a charmingly obnoxious laugh. “We’ll work on changing it. I can tell we’re gonna be good friends.”

“Her name ended up being a rip-off of my name,” the cat quips and receives a scowl from the supposed plagiarizer. “I’m Luna, and this is Sailor Moon, or Lunaria she says.”

“You gotta admit, that’s cutting it a little close,” you agree and Lunaria flips the bird. “How the fuck am I going to change Sailor Mars? Also, can I do anything about this outfit?”

“We can go shopping tomorrow for sure. Luna and I can fill you on everything and – oh, before I forget, there’s a guy—”

“So it looks like you don’t need my help?”

You freeze in your steps, startled by the familiar baritone approaching you two. He was involved in all this?

“I told you, I don’t need your help—”

“Is she new?”

“Yeah, which means, we really don’t need your help. She’s got actual fire power. Literal fire.”

“That’s pretty fucking cool,” he accepts. “Good to meet you.”

You spot a set of veiny fingers that appears in your peripheral and you tentatively turn in his direction, hoping that your hair will obstruct your face as much as possible. “Same,” your throat manages to squeak out as his warm hand engulfs yours in a firm handshake.

“Get out of here, Corpse,” Lunaria chides and lets go of you to push a finger to his chest.

“I’m only here because you fucking needed saving. Now you’ve got another person dragged in.”

“I told you, I’m not some fucking damsel in distress,” she hisses. The mirth in his visible eye only causes the infuriation to grow and swirl more vigorously in her gut.

You watch the exchange from the sidelines as Corpse’s teasing only increases and provokes Lunaria further, disheartened that you’ve never heard him laugh so much in one exchange before. Dread from deep within your veins begins to freeze around your heart, something so set and undeniable that causes your brain to realize that falling in love with him was a mistake. It was the kind of mistake that would strike you with pain for years and the intense foreshadowing has you spinning on your heel and bounding through an alleyway. Your outfit shifts back to what you’d been wearing before, the characteristic weight of your phone in your back pocket seeming heavier than ever.

You call him that night, holding in a deep breath when the dial tone breaks midway. A rustle, a breath, and then, “Hey what’s up?”

Oh god, you scream to yourself as your heart shatters at the bottom of your chest. His voice, again, cannot be misconstrued as anyone else’s – the inflection, the tone, the volume, everything belonged to him.

And the universe told you then and there that he, undoubtedly, belonged to her.

[passable-talent]

Heyyyyy I love how y’all write zuko! Could I ask for an imagine where the reader is zuko’s servant and is very shy and docile, and one of the guards on his ship tries to intimidate her but zuko goes in to defend her. Thanks 💗💗💗💗

as this was requested nearly two months ago, it is a relic of another time. that’s why I’m excusing the female pronouns. but be aware- incoming asks now get deleted if they ask for female reader in any way. yes, I’m being a hardass about it

You had the fortune of being born a firebender. Sadly, that was where your fortune ended. You were born into the lowest class of the fire nation- the servant class. You couldn’t do much to bring honor to your name, other than to do your best to serve whatever household you were placed into.

You weren’t very good at that, either. You were so bad at it, in fact, that when it came time for the young prince Zuko to take a ship and head off to find the avatar, you were given to him almost as a joke, as though you would make his life harder, instead of easier.

You were determined to prove them wrong. So every day, you did your chores dutifully. You purified salt water from the seas to make it into drinking water, and used some of it to wash the sheets and clothes of the crewman, the prince and general of course being treated first. Then, as it was lunch by the time you’d finish, you would help the cooks distribute lunch to all of the crewman.

Then, in the afternoon, you would assist both the prince and anyone else in the crew with anything they needed. Usually, you fetched parchment, or maps, or new candle wax. You helped distribute the evening meal, and after dinner you finally had time to yourself.

Most nights, you wandered to the bow of the ship, and practiced firebending.

You didn’t have much need for the skill. You weren’t gifted, and it wasn’t as though anyone expected you to help fight any sort of battles, as you weren’t a soldier. You didn’t plan on fighting any Agni Kais, and your bending was already good enough for mundane things, like lighting candles and thawing crewmen who stepped the wrong way in front of the avatar’s waterbending friend.

By all accounts, there was no need to train you any further.

And yet, you did. You had a passion for firebending- not for the fighting, and the martial arts, but for the way it made you feel. You loved the noise of the flame, and the energy that coursed through your bones, and the heat of the fire. You loved the warmth and the light that it spread. Though you had no teacher, you trained the best you could, practicing forms you had witnessed General Iroh teaching prince Zuko.

You hadn’t gotten in trouble yet. You didn’t know why you would, after all, you were off duty after dinner, but still you feared that somehow you were breaking a rule. Yet you thought that maybe the night watchman was less concerned with your shenanigans than whatever else their duties were. Maybe you had been reported, but hellfire was yet to rain upon you. There was no way to know.

You took a deep breath to calm your nerves and began your forms again, your shoulders square and torso strong but your footwork lacking.

“May I?” asked a voice behind you, and you turned to see General Iroh, sitting down at his Pi Sho table.

“General,” you said, turning toward him and bowing deeply. “I didn’t mean to interrupt you, I’ll see myself to bed right away-“

“No, Y/N,” Iroh said, “it seems I am the one who has interrupted you. I sometimes enjoy a late night tea, and look at the stars. Don’t let me stop you.” You paused, shocked, but soon offered him a grateful smile and returned to your movements.

You faced the bow of the ship, and struck forward with both hands, knuckles vertical, making fire frame the point of the bow. Then, you jumped, launching upward and letting your body drift sideways as you struck your hand and foot in opposite directions, sending arcs of flame. You were supposed to land on your feet, but you stumbled sideways, and took the fall to your hip, then hands.

“Your technique is strong, but you need to focus more on your footwork,” General Iroh said, making you stiffen up. You hadn’t realized he’d been watching you- much less that he would critique.

“Much like earthbenders, firebenders can gain control from their connection to the ground. Keep your stances strong, and mind your center of gravity. This will help you control your flame.” You turned to the General and bowed again, a small smile on your face.

“Thank you, General,” you said, and began the set anew.

And so it became a pattern. General Iroh would often take naps in the afternoon, so that he could sit under the stars with you and help you learn. You couldn’t ever thank him enough, as he had no need to do this for you. Regardless, your skill began to strengthen, slowly as it was.

It did mean, however, that you were much more tired in the mornings. When you got up to clean up from breakfast one morning, your drowsiness was so strong that you managed to stumble when delivering Lieutenant Jee his tea. You apologized profusely, and immediately offered to get him another cup, regardless of the shard of porcelain stuck into the center of your palm, but it seemed that he wouldn’t hear it.

“You should’ve never been placed on this ship,” the lieutenant jeered, “It’s ridiculous that the good crewmen of this ship are burdened with not only a moody teenager as a captain, but also a clumsy teenager as a servant.” You looked to the side, hoping that maybe you would garner Iroh’s pity, and he would come to your rescue. But instead, you saw him walking away, showing utter indifference to your situation.

“We’re not the banished ones! Why are we being punished?” As he raised his voice, you tucked your chin down, hoping to diffuse his anger with your submission, complacency.

“My apologies, Lieutenant, I’m sorry-“

“You should be sorry. You’re nothing. To think that you’ve even been trying to be a firebender. You’ll never be more than you are- a useless servant.”

“Leave them alone,” said Zuko, emerging from the interior of the ship. Behind him walked Iroh, and you realized that the General had gone to fetch the prince.

“If you think that Y/N is useless, I’d love to see how you manage a day without their help. You may be a lieutenant, but you show no respect.” Lieutenant Jee turned from the conversation, seemingly chased off, and Prince Zuko turned to you.

“Are you alright?” He asked, and you realized you’d never seen a side of him so caring. Slowly you turned over your palm, revealing the shard still stuck into your hand, and the trail of blood it had dripped and carved.

“Come inside, I’ll get you to the medic,” he said, and you followed him into the ship. However, he took you nowhere near the medic’s chambers, instead pulling you into his own. He had you sit down in front of his desk, and gathered a bandage from a nearby storage chest.

“If he says anything like that to you again, tell me,” the prince ordered you, and you nodded, casting your eyes to the floor. You never thought you’d be in his chambers- let alone when he’d just saved you. He sat in front of you, gently taking your hand and turning over your palm so that he could slowly pull out the shard of cup you’d smashed into it. Gently, he used a wet cloth to wipe the blood from your hand, his palm placed over your knuckles to hold your hand in place. Then, he wrapped your hand, and though you knew that your body carried the heat of a firebender, you couldn’t help but think that his hands felt so warm.

“My uncle said that you’re a promising firebender,” Zuko said, seemingly struggling to make conversation.

“I’m trying to learn,” you answered, voice small. You still felt so out of your element, being in his chambers.

“I could pardon you for an afternoon, so you can train with me. If you want.”

“I don’t think I’m good enough for that,” you said quickly, astonished he’d even offer.

“Well, when you’ve learned more. Maybe then.” You nodded, and he tucked your bandages into place, a small metal clip keeping them from unraveling. You stood up quickly, and bowed to him.

“Thank you,” you said, before rushing from his sight.

You couldn’t help the blush that rose on your cheeks, nor the way your heart pounded. You never thought he’d even known your name- and now he offered to train with and protect you.

Maybe the prince wasn’t as emotionally closed off as the crew seemed to think. Maybe there was something in his chest, something that you might even be able to reach.

Maybe.

-🦌 Roe

[faulty-writes]

Hi !!! I don’t know if the pride month requests are closed since in your bio it says they’re closed. if they are feel free to delete !!! But if you do take requests, can I request an iida x male reader, where Iida finds himself falling for the reader, but is in constant denial? Then he confides in midoriya or uraraka about his confusion and it somehow clicks in that he’s gay?? It can be headcannons, a Drabble or a one shot! Cliche, but this dude doesn’t get enough rep !!

[ I love my Iida boys. Honestly, they deserve more love. I’m currently reading My Hero Academia: Vigilantes and when Tensei Iida was introduced. I was freaking out so much, my friend had to tell me to breathe. I was simply fangirling too much. Give my Iida boys the love they deserve! <3 That being said, my boy deserves to be in a one-shot. So enjoy! I love writing for Tenya, he is such a good character! ] 

“What is it about him that distracts me so? I find myself staring at him with such strange desires coursing through my head, I simply cannot conclude an answer to this odd phenomenon. I have tried to come to a sensible solution, an explanation of what this feeling is. I cannot explain myself in full detail.” he began, his eyes focused down and his hands promptly resting on his lap. He had decided to finally confront this issue, despite the fact that he was in denial. Yes, perhaps he could admit the way he was feeling could be described as love.

But how could he possibly accept such a thing? He was a hero first, above everything. He wanted to be able to soar, to be a great role model for others. More so, he wanted to be like his big brother, Tensei. The person he had looked up to all his life, the person that had told him to become Ingenium. To carry on the name with honor, Tenya truthfully did not like thinking back to how his brother handed off that title so easily. But, his brother was doing much better and slowly adjusting to his new life in a wheelchair.

He still managed to smile and laugh, which Tenya treasured, and though he felt as if he were bothering his brother with this confusing conversation revolving around you. He knew his brother would not judge him, in fact, despite looking confused. Tensei started to laugh and Tenya looked baffled. “Please do not laugh at me! I know it’s rather hard...for I have not come to you with such a problem before, but I do not find entertainment in laughing at other’s problems!” he snapped, his hands chopping through the air like wild and Tensei’s laughter came to an end.

Though there was still a smile on the man’s face as he reached up and grabbed the back of Tenya’s neck, gently guiding him down. “Ten...sometimes you’re so oblivious,” he commented before pressing his forehead against his younger brother’s. Tenya’s eyes went wide and though he wanted to pull away, he forced himself to stay still. Tensei was always open with his affection and wore his heart on his sleeve and whatever he had to say, Tenya would be most attentive to. “If you stop looking at it as a problem...and instead, follow your feelings. Maybe you’d find the answer for yourself.” Tensei chuckled as he leaned back.

“What do you mean? How is one to follow feelings?” he paused, his body trembling before he looked away. There was a faint flush across his cheeks and he cleared his throat. “I mean, ahem...not that I have such feelings. It’s simply...impossible.” Tensei rolled his eyes, though he was still wearing a smile as he rolled away from his brother. “Uh-huh, Ten...whatever you say,” Tenya growled and swirled on his feet. “You are not much help!” he called after his brother, but once more he was greeted with laughter in response.

He let out a sigh and pressed two fingers to his forehead, jabbing at it as he tried to think of how he could possibly sort out this issue himself. It was rather crazy, he had never felt this way around anyone before. At first, he believed it was simply because of your quirk, perhaps you made him feel this way. But your quirk didn’t deal with emotions, so that theory was quickly disposed of. He then thought perhaps the way he was feeling was simply admiration, he had watched you train and your combat skills were impressive.

During the Sports Festival, he had gone toe to toe with you and though somehow, he was distracted. His face was red as he found himself staring at you. The way you moved your body and the fact, you did not hold back was incredible. He had almost thought he scared you off after the match was through because he couldn’t stop himself from speaking words of praise toward you. Most would have walked away from Tenya when he started rambling on and on, but you did not. In fact, you stayed to hear what he had to say and thanked him after.

Tenya always feels his stomach twist when he thinks back to the hug you had given him after that, somehow he felt himself longing for your touch once more and he hated it. This was nothing more than a phase, an admiration, a...he couldn’t honestly think of any other way to put it. His brother was deemed no help in this situation and the battle within his own mind proved to be a waste of time. Who else could he go to and with the confidence they wouldn’t make fun of him? Given, he had thought of going to his friend’s before.

However, Midoriya and Ochako were the ones he was closest to and the ones that he trusted more than anything. Midoriya had proved time and time again that he was nothing less than a hero. Strong, honest, and only had the desire to help others. Ochako was a tad different, she was happy and gave it her all. She was always encouraging others and while she could be shy at times. She would never intentionally hurt anyone. Tenya let out a sigh, nervously tapping his chin as he continued to think. “I suppose I have no choice,” he said, tomorrow morning he’d make the choice to reveal the secret he had been holding for so long.

Despite being nervous, he knew he had to end this somehow. When morning came, Tenya had woken up early. Deciding to go about his morning routine as quickly as he could. This included taking a shower, getting a fresh pair of glasses, eating a healthy breakfast, and bidding his family goodbye. Normally he would have awoken in the dorm building, but as of late he requested a small leave so he may stay at the Iida Estate during this rather confusing problem. But it felt almost refreshing to be able to walk to U.A. High and he smiled as he entered into Class 1-A.

He looked around, his fellow classmates were sitting and chatting amongst each other. However, Tokoyami had seemed to make it a habit of sitting on the desk. Tenya couldn’t help the growl that came from his throat and raised his hand, ready to scold the fellow hero before he heard his name, “Iida?” he felt his face immediately flush and his stomach twisted, that familiar feeling of butterflies rising and it caused him to clench his jaw. Damn it. He hated this feeling so much, but he took a deep breath. It would be rude not to face you during a conversation.

“Y-Yes?” he said as he hesitantly turned around, his body completely stiff and his fingers sticking straight out at his sides. “H-How may I be of assistance to you, Y/n?” he said, and though he noticed the strange look you were giving him. He tried to ignore it, as well as the way his mouth seemed to go dry. “Uh, I was just wondering…” you began, “Do you think maybe you could help me with some homework? Everyone says you’re the smart guy, so I figured I’d ask.” you said as you rubbed the back of your head and chuckled. Yes, Iida might be strange in some aspects.

But you still looked up to him and though you didn’t know of his feelings toward you, it was no surprise not many understood Iida’s antics. But you somehow found them adorable, even if they were borderline annoying. Tenya’s face seemed to grow darker and for a moment, you wondered if you had said something wrong before his hands shot up. “O-Of course! I uh, would be very happy to assist you with your homework. Uh, perhaps at a later date, however.” he said, the words coming out of his mouth in a choppy and almost panicked manner.

Which wasn’t like him, but maybe he wasn’t feeling well. You had heard that Tenya received special permission to return home for two weeks and you missed his presence in the dorm building. Still, you nodded, “Uh, right...sounds great.” you bowed before walking over to your seat and Tenya’s eyes followed you the whole time. Much like always, his heart was accelerating as fast as his engines. He swallowed and turned to look at Ochako and Midoriya who seemed to be having a conversation of their own.

Tenya cleared his throat once more and walked over to them, Ochako immediately turned her head with a bright smile on her face. “Hi Iida!” she greeted and Midoriya nodded. “I saw you talking to Y/n, he mentioned he wanted to talk to you earlier.” the green-haired boy shared and somehow, Tenya felt his cheeks begin to flush once again. “Ah...yes, well…” he looked away a moment, a tad annoyed that his glasses seemed to be fogging up due to the warmth of his cheeks. He groaned softly and looked back to his friends who seemed confused by his strange actions. 

“Are you okay Iida?” Ochako questioned and Tenya only nodded in response, his hands curling as they hung by his sides. “I...I wish to speak to you about Y/n in private, would it be acceptable to the two of you to meet me after class?” he questioned, holding his breath as Ochako and Midoriya exchanged looks. “Um, sure Iida.” Ochako said before Midoriya spoke, “Is everything alright between you and Y/n?” Tenya couldn’t help but feel nervous at that question and for a moment, he wondered if Midoriya had noticed his strange behavior around you as well.

“I...I’m not quite sure,” Tenya said quietly before turning to walk to his desk. He knew he was being rather ridiculous, but he couldn’t help himself. Time seemed to be going rather slow and Tenya couldn’t resist turning his head to look at you throughout the class, admiring the way you concentrated on your work. It almost made him proud, but he couldn’t tell you that. He was a nervous wreck by the time class ended and Ochako, Midoriya, and himself promptly left together. “So Iida, what exactly did you want to talk about involving Y/n?” Ochako questioned as she stood behind Tenya in the lunchline.

A tremble ran through him and once more his body went stiff. “I uh...would rather discuss it once we have a seating area,” he replied and Ochako blinked before looking over her shoulder at Midoriya who simply shrugged, Tenya was a hard person to read sometimes and it was best to go along with him rather than try and figure him out. However, once Tenya had gotten his food and chosen a table near the corner of the room. He looked to his friends who seemed more eager to hear what he had to say then what they had to eat.

“Well?” Ochako said, her hands folded into fists. She normally didn’t get involved with gossip but she had a hunch something was going on between Iida and yourself, Midoriya on the other hand tended to be oblivious. Tenya took a deep breath and looked down at his lap. “I...I am not quite sure how to put this…” he began, reaching up to tap his chin as he recalled the earlier conversation with his brother. Would his friends react the same way? Well, there's no way to avoid it now.

“I...I am unsure of how I feel around Y/n.” he began, “I...I get this odd warm feeling, I have shakes and overall, I feel rather nervous. My cheeks seem to flush and I…I do not know what is wrong. I have thoughts about Y/n constantly and they seem to go in the rather...romantic direction. I have tried suggesting it is merely admiration, for what else could it be? But I am afraid...as of late, these emotions. These strange occurrences I feel whenever in Y/n’s presence have only gotten worse.” Midoriya tilted his head, though he was a little confused as this was not what he had expected Iida to say.

Much like Ochako, he already seemed to know what the answer to Iida’s problem was. “Iida...are you sure you haven’t felt this way around anyone else?” Ochako questioned and Tenya jumped in his seat before turning to look at her, reaching up to push his glasses back up. “Well...of course not! I have thought it over very well, no one else had caused such a reaction in me,” he explained before Ochako threw out another question. “Not even a girl?” Tenya tilted his head, “I have never felt whatever this is around a female, no.” Ochako chuckled, it was so obvious.

“What are you chuckling at!? I demand an explanation! Tensei acted in a similar manner, so tell me!” Tenya demanded as he rose from his seat, his hand chopping through the air. Midoriya felt his own cheeks flush before reaching up to rub the back of his head. “Uh...Iida...have you thought it’s because you have a crush on Y/n?” he questioned before holding his hands up in a panic. “I mean not that there’s anything wrong with that! Uh, whoever you like is fine!” The last thing he wanted was Iida to be angry with him, luckily Ochako spoke up.

“That’s right!” she said as she nodded, “There’s nothing wrong with liking a boy or girl! Y/n is pretty handsome too! I know the girls in our class talk about him a lot too! I’m sure if you told him how you felt, he’d understand.” she suggested, however, Tenya seemed frozen. Crush? He blinked and lowered his hand before falling back into his seat. Could it be possible? He had tried to come up with a logical reason as to why he felt the way he did, but was love ever logical in any way? Could it be that...he tilted his head up. “Are you suggesting I’m...gay?” he questioned and Ochako shrugged while Midoriya decided to keep quiet.

“Does it matter if you are or not? I mean I’ve always thought you liked guys but that’s just my opinion.” she said before sighing, “Either way, you should just tell Y/n how you feel. The sooner you get it off your chest the better, come on Midoriya.” she said before grabbing the young boy’s hand and dragging him off his seat. Midoriya cried out and struggled to keep up with Ochako. “I think Iida needs some time alone,” she said, not because she disagreed with his choice in who he liked. But if Iida decided to confess to you during this time, it’d be best if they stayed out of any romantic business.

“Gay…” he repeated the word as he tapped his chin, feeling an odd sense of calm come over him. He had never thought much of girls, to begin with, and despite his brother being the one hero he admired more than anyone. He had always seemed to favor males over females and failed to see the reason why feminine heroes were always looked at as well, attractive. Why exposing the female parts of the body were so enthralling. Whenever he happened to see a shirtless man, his eyes would trace over their body but did that necessarily mean he was gay? Perhaps it didn’t matter, he swallowed down his nerves and rose from the table. “I must tell Y/n.” he decided, though this might be the hardest confession he ever had to face.

[n7inky-fanfics]

One Day at a Time

The destruction of the Reapers did not mean galactic peace. While the treaties Shepard had brokered during the war remain mostly intact, there is no shortage of pirates, criminals, gangs, and terroristic organizations bent on creating chaos and destruction. The Council began directing their Spectres towards overseeing and protecting reconstruction efforts and maintaining peace. Now that scientists are close to unlocking the key to repairing the mass relays, the galaxy has settled into unease. No one knows if crime will get better or worse with the relays back online. All factions are getting agitated, and more fighting is breaking out.

Sometimes, Kaidan pities the poor soul on the wrong end of Shepard's gun. More than once, he has heard all sorts of people shout something along the lines of "Oh shit, it's Shepard!" as they realized they were about to die. Shepard is a skilled soldier who dominates the battlefield with equal parts strength and grace. Fighting alongside her can be almost beautiful in an odd and violent sort of way, especially when she used her biotics. It took her almost a year of practice fighting on her military grade prosthetic leg, but she has now found that grace on the battlefield again. In the end, her skills and her career could not be taken by the Reaper War. The galaxy kept its greatest protector.

Today, they are both back on Mars, of all places, fighting a remnant of Cerberus that is attempting to steal more data from the archives. If intel is correct, their goal is to find weapons they can use "for the betterment of humanity", which is their way of saying anti-alien terrorism. Kaidan does have to admit that some part of him enjoys taking down pieces of Cerberus. After all the horrible things he's seen them do, including all that they have put Shepard through, he's glad to eliminate every last cell in the galaxy. It's a worthy career goal.

As the smoke clears, Shepard begins checking the bodies for data pads, hoping to find anything to indicate how many of them are at the archives and what their exact plans are. After all, if this was just an outdoor lookout team, there's bound to be more already inside. She freezes as she reads one of the data pads. Kaidan can barely see her face through her helmet, but her reaction to the data pad can't be good. "Shepard, what is it?"

She clears her throat and says calmly "It's not pertinent to the mission. Let's move on." She drops the data pad and continues towards the entrance. Kaidan trusts Shepard, but curiosity gets the better of him and he glances down at the data pad as he passes by. It currently displays the owner's profile. He can see an image that he guesses matches the body they found it on and a name. "Andrew Mason".

As they enter the archive, they happily find a distinct lack of civilian and scientist casualties. This time, intel learned of the plan early and decided to evacuate the scientists and ship in more soldiers. Unfortunately, Cerberus still puts up a good fight and many of the Alliance soldiers were injured or killed before the Spectres arrived (travel between systems takes more time now that the relays are gone). Shepard hops on to the nearest terminal and accesses the system logs. "Ah, here it is. Someone opened an archive five minutes ago. We can take the tram there."

"Perfect. Maybe this time we'll make it through without getting shot at." Immediately after making the joke, Kaidan winces at the realization that bringing up their last mission on Mars might not be a good idea. Sure, they've worked everything out, but it still could be a touchy subject. He was pretty cruel to her last time, before he almost died in front of her.

"Doubtful." Shepard laughs lightly as they board the tram.

They ride quietly for a moment before Kaidan asks "So, will I get to know who Andrew Mason is?"

"Maybe later. Now's not the time."

"Fair." Kaidan says. He smiles at her, hoping she can see it through the helmet. His is much more open and visually blocks less of the face. Shepard's preferred gear usually allows less visibility, but it also has fewer structural weak points. He noticed a change in her treatment of her armor not too long after he got back on the Normandy, but he's never said anything. Without asking, he already knows why Shepard chooses armor with the most reinforced environment system, and why she carefully and almost obsessively maintains it. He would, too, in her shoes.

He refocuses himself on the task at hand as they begin approaching their destination. They've almost made it when a Cerberus soldier begins firing at the car. They both take cover behind the wall and the dance begins yet again. As the car docks, Shepard throws up a barrier and runs out, shooting at several men in a row as she charges to cover. Kaidan focuses on the heavy trooper slowly approaching from a distance and Reaves. Together, they feed off each other's energy. The can move in sync, watching each other's sixes and supporting each other throughout the entire battle. Before long, the docking zone falls silent as the battle ends.

They take turns clearing doors until they finally get to the archive. They take cover on either side of the door. He opens it carefully, and Shepard immediately swings around to cover him with her pistol. The immediate entryway is surprisingly empty. Shepard gestures for him to follow, then slowly and quietly moves inside the room until they reach a sharp turn. She takes cover against the wall and peers around the corner, gun at the ready. As soon as she does, she is thrown backwards by a large biotic force. Her gun fires before she even hits the wall. Kaidan swings around and unleashes a singularity that pulls the target into the air. Shepard fires again, making several headshots that eventually pierce the armor and hit their mark.

"Thanks for the cover, Alenko." She says, her smile coming through in the sound of her voice. She pats him on the back and pushes further into the room, where the target had been collecting data onto a drive. She plugs the data into her omnitool and runs it through analysis softwares. Liara would be able to tell them more, but it appears that intel was correct. They had been here for advanced weapons blueprints. Shepard begins forwarding the information back to the Normandy, then turns to head back to the LZ. Kaidan follows her.

Getting back to the Normandy and conferencing with Admiral Hackett is no big deal. After the verbal debriefing, they retire to her cabin to write their mission reports. Kaidan's ship, the SSV London (named for the Battle of London that ended the Reaper War), is still getting it's final touches before he'll be able to take it out on a shakedown run, so he rode along with Shepard for this mission and their last several. As they settle into the couch with their tea and data pads, he can't help but smile. This is a good life, one he hadn't expected to attain. Every day, sometimes several times a day, he still finds himself thankful that they had found Shepard after the Crucible. When the Alliance had formally declared her missing in action, with the caveat that she was most likely dead, Kaidan refused to lay down and wait for them to declare her death. He contacted Hackett with an emergency QEC on the Normandy and told him that until they found a body, Shepard was to be considered alive and in need of assistance. They all owed that to her. Seeing her here and now, living her life with him, is something he is grateful for every day.

As Kaidan is putting the final touches on his report, Shepard sets her data pad on the table and walks to her shower, stripping off articles of clothing as she goes. He fumbles over the keyboard, leaving a line of text that reads "ghdhshgdg" as he watches her go. Knowing that he's watching, she calls "finish your report first, and then you can join me." He deletes the line of typos, hurriedly wraps up the report, and follows her for an enjoyable interlude.

Their activities eventually end with them cuddling in her bed. She lay with her head resting gently on his chest, her hand absentmindedly rubbing circles on through his chest hair. He has one arm around her back and gently brushing strokes down her upper arm. He can feel her back subtly rise and fall with her breath. They lay this way for a while before he feels a slight dampness on his chest, where her head is. "Hazel, are you okay?" he asks, looking down at her. Her face is buried in him. She stifles a sob, and he feels the shift in her breathing as she forces herself to cry silently. He wraps his arms around her tighter. "Sweetheart, whatever it is, I've got you." Slowly, she pulls herself back and looks at him. He reaches up to her and gently wipes the tears from her cheeks. She pulls herself into a sitting position against the headboard, and he follows so that they are sitting side by side.

She leans her head on his shoulder and quietly says "You asked about Andrew Mason?"

"Yeah. Do you want to talk about it?"

"I knew him... from before the Alliance." she ends the sentence at barely a whisper. Her shoulders tense and she looks down at the floor. "He was one of the younger kids in the Reds before I left." He gently reaches for her hand and takes it in his as she continues. "I heard he'd gotten out, that he'd joined the Alliance some time after my death. I had hoped he'd do well and go far, but it didn't work that way. I checked his records when we got back to the ship. His team got ambushed by some pirates about seven months before the Reapers invaded. He was discharged honorably for medical reasons, for PTSD. I guess that's when Cerberus got to him."

"Hazel, I'm so sorry." he says.

"The hell of it is that I can see myself in that kid. In what he came from, in his escape. What if I somehow influenced his decision to leave like that? How many kids joined after hearing fantastical stories about my life, only to be swooped up by Cerberus when the Alliance didn't live up to their expectations or to die in battle before they got the chance to reconsider?"

"Hey, stop that. It's not your fault, Hazel."

"How many people died because of me? Will continue to die because of me? Because I failed?" Her voice cracks and she lets out a shuddering breath.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Backup. Failed at what?"

"I couldn't save them all. I can never save them all."

"Hazel, stop. Look at me." He gently places his hand under her chin and guides her to look at him. "You are not responsible for every person in the galaxy. You've spent far too much of your life fighting galactic wars practically on your own. Enough is enough. We stopped the Reapers. Now, we just do what we can to make things a little better. One day at a time, okay?"

She nods and he pulls her into a tight embrace. "One day at a time." She sniffles.

[sooibian]

Stranger Things (2)

Pairing: Baekhyun x fem!Reader ft. Kyungsoo, Mark Lee, Jongdae (if you squint)

Description: You met an obnoxious lawyer at the airport and fell stupidly in “love” but little did you know, his heart belonged to someone else.

Themes: Fluff, crack, stupid OC, Mark Lee’s debut with a law firm, organic cucumbers, cowsheds, corgis, farmer!Soo, lawyer!Baek

A/N: This was not supposed to happen but four people asked for it and that’s really all it takes to get me to do something. I was SO tempted to title this - Of Cowsheds and Corgis!! This fic is ridiculous and very predictable but I gave up on the angst I was writing for this because ridiculous is just what I need right now. I truly hope you’re all safe and healthy!

Word Count: ~ 1.6k

Chapters:  One | Two | Three | Four (Final)

Groaning, you put down your second ‘fruit platter’ with a deliberate clang on Kyungsoo’s bedside table. Nothing. “Yah! Did you catch narcolepsy in that ridiculously mind numbing hamlet?” The skinny end of your chopstick slowly made its way to the sole of his left foot. Still nothing. Panic swelled within you and you crawled over to his side to check his breathing. He was breathing, alright.

“Eomma!” You bellowed. Maybe it was time for the third medley of diced apples and bananas.

Still nothing.

***

“Sloth.” You took a jibe at a barely awake Kyungsoo.

“Creep.”

“Creep?”

“You were watching me sleep!”

“I was waiting for you to wake up! There’s a difference, Snorlax.”

“Patience - -”, his mouth fell open in a huge yawn.

“Isn’t my greatest virtue. Yeah, I know. You’ve said it a million times. It’s etched in my heart. I’ll get it tattooed across my forehead. Now spill.”

For a moment Kyungsoo looked confused before diving into his fruit platter with a half-suppressed snicker. 

“What?” You attacked his stupid bespectacled face with a pillow. When was the last time he got a change of glasses? He’s worn this thick-rimmed atrocity forever. Although the man was optically challenged, his hearing was more than just fine. He was quick to spot the hint of defensiveness in your tone and his heart shaped smile had a reputation of showing up only when you were in deep trouble. “Ahhhhh….my case? The bank is entitled to a lien on the adjoining cowshed - ”

You cut in with a long impatient sigh. “Kyungsoo, sweetie, can we talk about corgis for now?”

“Chubs”, you undid your messy bun at the sound of that horrendous nickname, “you’ve got a bad case of --- honestly whatever this is. You spent two hours with him. Two.”

“Squishy, I’m not three anymore. I am a woman now.” His face contorted into an expression of disgust. “Stop. Calling me. Chubs.” Interjecting every word by striking his shoulder with your feeble wrist, you noticed how ‘un-Squishy’ he’d gotten over the past one year. “And I know all there is to know...about your 174 cm tall friend who struts around like he’s no less than 185. But that’s not him...that’s Handsome Mr. Park, his partner.”

“Stalker!” Kyungsoo’s eyes grew wide in horror and he flicked your forehead very, very hard.

Swallowing your cry of pain, you pinched his ear with all your might, making him wince. “It’s called content curation. If you ever happen to meet a lovelorn village belle ….let me know, yeah? I’m willing to put up my skills to offer. For a fee, of course.”

“YAH!” He freed himself from your grasp. “Behave! You’re not three anymore, right? Tell me...how much do you know about Baekhyun?” He was curious. Slightly panic-struck, even. But you couldn’t tell why.

“I will tell you but I need to know something before that. Has he - Doh Kyungsoo I swear to God I will bury you alive if you so much as smile - has he mentioned me at all?” You felt your face flame and a part of you really did not want to know the answer to that.

Kyungsoo sucked the insides of his cheeks in and said, “He thinks you’re interesting.”

You knew 'interesting', almost always, was nothing but a euphemism for weird. Ignoring the tender ache in your chest you said, "Well, I think he looks a lot like his corgi Mongryong. Mum has invited you to dinner tomorrow. Later, Squish." You pulled him in a bear hug, picked up the two, now polished, plates and walked out of Kyungsoo's room, slowly closing the door behind you.

"Eomma, Kyungsoo will be joining us for dinner -"  

"Chubs, wait!" He hurried out of his room and handed you a rather heavy C4 size envelope. "My dentist appointment has been moved to today and I had to drop these documents off at Byun Park's", after a small pause he hesitantly continued, "he won't be there."

"Who won't be there?" Kyungsoo’s mother eyed the both of you suspiciously.

You couldn’t say no to the illustrious prince of a family who fed you a whole carton of organic fruits a while ago. At least not in front of the matriarch.

"It's nothing Eomma… it's Kyungsoo's friend Byun Baekhyun. Yah! Doh Kyungsoo! Stop acting like he's my ex boyfriend."

***

Your heart raced as you stepped into the elevator of the swanky commercial building. Pushing the button for the 27th floor, you turned around to examine yourself in the mirror feeling frumpy and underdressed in your faded yellow sweater and mom-jeans. The ding of the elevator jolted your heart and your mouth went dry as you lay your eyes on the blond haired man standing in front of you. You wanted nothing more than to snake your arm around Doh Kyungsoo’s neck and put him in a tight chokehold until he begged for mercy -- at this point you weren’t very keen on letting go of the imaginary, gasping for breath, blue in the face, Doh Kyungsoo. He won’t be there??

“Hi”, you said stepping out of the elevator but what you really wanted to say was ‘I want to delete myself’.

“Airport Girl!” He jested. You didn’t feel very apologetic anymore or even underdressed for that matter since the partner of a snooty law firm thought that a long sleeved jersey with bib shorts were an acceptable choice of clothing. Nevertheless, you properly introduced yourself and did what was long overdue.

“I am sorry about the other day and -- ” You briefly waited for him to cut you off with a ‘Don’t worry about it’ or even dismiss it with loud ‘hahaha’ but instead his little eyebrow raise insisted you complete your apology. “And I shouldn’t have - -”

“Airport Girl, I notice you have a problem completing your sentences.” Resting his hands on his hips he cocked his head to the side. That vaguely familiar annoying smirk made your skin crawl.

“Byun Baekhyun-ssi, I am here to see Lee Min Hyung. I am supposed to hand over Kyungsoo’s documents to him. I hope you’re working hard on my friend’s case. He really needs that cowshed back, he’s paid the broker’s fee in full for it. I hope this was coherent enough for you.” His smirk stretched into a genuine smile as he inched closer to you. Uncomfortable as you were standing in an enclosed space and conversing with a man in bib shorts, the diminished distance from his two small strides made you squirm. You could practically smell his cologne.

“I’ll forgive you if you agree to come cycling with me. Right now.”

“Absolutely not. Can I go see Lee Min Hyung now?”

“MARK LEE!” Baekhyun bellowed. The unsparing luminous smile on his face wasn’t doing any favours to the health of your heart. Within seconds, a bespectacled young lad who looked like he hadn’t slept a wink for days came rushing to his side. So Byun Baekhyun worked his employees to the bone while he himself took hiking trips in absurd outfits.

He put an arm around the frail boy and introduced the fresh law graduate to you, “This is my main man Mark Lee from Canada.” Violently thumping Mark’s back he continued, “Madam’s here with Doh Kyungsoo’s documents. Take her inside and go over the file. Check if anything’s missing and most importantly, offer her something cold to drink.” Letting go of Mark, he said to you with a wink, “I’ll be waiting in the lobby, Airport Girl. Or you’re never losing the nickname.”

***

Mark Lee’s involuntary metamorphosis from scaredy cat to ferocious lion cub in the conference room took you by surprise. While going over Kyungsoo’s documents like a hawk focused on its prey, he dutifully put a glass of ice water in front of you just as instructed by Byun Baekhyun. It was nothing more than a courtesy call. “Doh Kyungso-ssi’s personal documents all look okay -- ID card, bank statements, transaction information, realtors invoice, property possession documents.” You lost him at ‘realtor’s invoice’. “Seems to me, the realtor tricked him - - why did he not get due diligence done before investing in property? How could he not notice that the title deed does not extend to the cowshed?” Mark Lee was furious….at you.

“He’s just a simple man with simple dreams who wanted to trade his city existence for a quiet rural homestead and grow organic cucumbers, I guess? Why don’t you give him a call and --”

Mark Lee’s paw met the desk in a loud smack, startling you. “A simple due diligence would’ve saved him the hassle - -”

You weren’t exactly sure of the reason Byun Baekhyun thought you’d need a cold drink but he was so right, everything else seemed wrong. You took a rather large gulp of water, snatched Mark Lee’s notepad from his firm grasp and scribbled Kyungsoo’s number in it. “Here’s Doh Kyungsoo’s number. Call him if you need anything further.” You rose from your chair and eyed him sympathetically. “Take care, Mark Lee and please don’t skip meals.”

***

He waited for you, just as he’d promised. He somehow managed to look just as stunning in that funny costume as he did when you saw him at the airport. “Let’s go. Half an hour with that enthu cutlet Mark Lee and I need to feel the wind in my hair. How do you manage?”

“Yah! Airport Girl. He’s my best and brightest.” Sounding like a proud parent he guided you to the parking lot. The guilt weighing your heart down compelled you to ask, “What about Yoona?”

“She’ll be joining us.” Baekhyun quipped nonchalantly, opening the door to his Audi for you.

It was at that exact moment you said a silent prayer to a certain 3rd generation male idol to strike you with lightning and put you out of your misery.

Tagging: @hirumixoxo @majesticsnow @dreamingofdreamydream @juncottonluvbot

[elcucuy-reyes]

Sebastian stared at the computer screen, trying to process everything. He scrolled up and down, reading over the code to make sure his eyes weren’t deceiving him. He was risking a lot by sitting at this computer and working on code, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off. It felt familiar. Jonas was kind enough to let him in to go over the code in private and didn’t ask too many questions. The more he looked at it, the more he realized why the Geists were so hard to get rid of. 

“The code is yours?!” Kishan growled. He gave Sebastian a rough shove to the chest. All of his old feelings and opinions of his ex best friend resurfaced and he remembered why they never spoke anymore. 

Sebastian stumbled back but didn’t shove Kishan in return like he would have otherwise. “No. I mean yes. I-Not exactly.”

“It’s the firesale code, isn’t it?” Kishan asked. His helmet on his avatar was on so Sebastian couldn’t see his face, but he knew he was pissed. 

Sebastian pursed his lips together, remaining silent. 

“How did GAIA get it?” Kishan couldn’t understand how it could have happened if Sebastian wasn’t allowed to be on computers. GAIA must have accessed saved versions of Sebastian’s consciousness or something. 

“I don’t know! You’re the one who lives here now! Why don’t you know?!” Sebastian shouted back. Then he remembered all the times he’d blacked out. He thought it was from lack of sleep or drinking too much, but maybe it wasn’t just that. Maybe GAIA had somehow taken control of him and made him write the code for the Geists. 

Whatever it was, the code was modified to be harder to change. It was what made the Geists so hard to get rid of. They were constantly evolving to attack the gang when they went into the Grid. Sebastian suspected the Geists weren’t just for tormenting them, but also as a test run for something bigger. Just a few more modifications and GAIA could run a full blown firesale and completely delete the country’s infrastructure. 

Kishan turned around to face Sebastian. “This is why I wanted you to delete that code. And you didn’t. Now here we are. You shouldn’t even be here. Why did you even get involved? Were you bored? Were you looking for your next thrill?”

Sebastian clenched his jaw and stared at Kishan through his own helmet. “You were the one who wanted me here. You were the one who left your fucking research with Tara to give to me. Some version of you out in the real world. You’re not even real in here. You’re just a program. Ones and zeroes.”

“I thought that maybe you’d changed. Maybe you’d use your skills for good and actually helping others instead of wasting your time on petty heists and hacking into email accounts. I guess I was wrong,” Kishan replied. 

“You are so full of shit, Kishan,” Sebastian said. “You were a part of it too. You wanted to be in it with me. And once you got back into society and got your fancy job offers and school scholarships and whatever, you changed. You lost sight of what it was really like to be an anarchist and a hacktivist. You became just like the rest of them.”

Kishan remained silent for a few minutes. It reminded him of one of their last conversations together when Kishan first confronted Sebastian and told him to get rid of his firesale program. Kishan let out a deep breath. “You have to fix this. And after you do, don’t come back.”

“You can’t tell me what to do. You don’t own the Grid and you don’t own me.”

“What I’m really saying is stop being a part of the group,” Kishan told him. “They’re better off without a dirtbag like you.”

[krisroley]

February 9th, 2021

One Small Moment

Today I want to talk to some specific friends who I won't name, but I'm fairly sure that this will apply to way more of just them.

First things first, I'm not going to insult your intelligence by giving you a bunch of platitudes. In my experience, they're nothing but empty calories. Filler and no substance, they're designed to make the person giving them feel better, not the person who needs help. In some cases, people who need help end up feeling worse. I'm one of those people, so I absolutely understand the feeling. So, no bullshit from me. Cool? Moving on.

Let me describe my lack of bona fides right upfront. I'm a guy with a high school education and one year of college because I let my dick do the thinking up to the point that I ended up homeless and friendless. I tried to follow in my Dad's footsteps and join the military and washed right out after six months because I have a mouth bigger than my brain. I come from a family that describing as dysfunctional is exceedingly generous. My dad had anger issues, my mother was a narcissist manipulator, as is my brother. He's got a criminal record and is probably on his way back to prison for at least 12 years as I write this. I'm the voice of reason in my family, and as I have said repeatedly, this should scare the fuck out of you. I got married at 24, and I had three kids by the age of 30. I've been dirt poor most of that time. At this stage of my life, I believe that I am an undiagnosed case of autism from the 1970s because my kids--all of them--are on the spectrum. I didn't have a bad childhood if you looked at it from one angle, but I had a horrible one if you looked at it from the inside out. I inherited my Dad's anger issues and my mother's narcissism. I was a horrible husband for years until my wife walked out on me in 2005. It made me face myself in a way I had not seen before, and I couldn't take it. I had a nervous breakdown. My wife thought I was worth saving, and I am forever grateful for it. I promised I would work on my issues, and I have. Three times in my life, I thought I was at the end of my rope. Not from a thought of suicide ideation, just that there was nowhere else to turn. No one else to ask for help. No one else I could lean on. Just Roley.

That moment right there is the point. The entire lesson. One small moment when your brain says, "Well, you're really fucked now, aren't you?" There is only one answer to that question, and that answer is yes because if you answer no, you ain't there yet. Trust me on this. You have to answer yes. This is the moment where you're accountable to no one but you, and you cannot lie to yourself. You can TRY. It ain't gonna work. Not for long.

Let's not bullshit ourselves. There is a lot of work in repairing a life that you fucked up on your own. You climb up out of a hole for years before you ever see daylight. I was a shut-in for two years because I thought it better that the world forgets about me. I tried to make a living from home in 2006-2007, but this world we live in hadn't come to pass yet, and I was living a fantasy. It made me feel worse that I couldn't provide for my family, but I could barely function as a human at that point. So I decided to do the only work I was capable of: Working on myself. I read every self-help book and mental health book I could lay my hands on. I dug deep into myself to try to figure out why I was the person I was, how I became that way, and the answer was straightforward. First, I thought I was absolutely normal. My behavior, though abhorrent, was how I was raised. My parents treated each other and us kids horribly, but it wasn't physically abusive save for a couple of times I'll keep to myself. I grew up in the same environment I perpetuated. I was continuing a cycle. Secondly, to accept that fact and to change meant work I wasn't ready to take on. But human psychology is a lot like a car in that regard; you can do the work now, or you can do it later, but it's going to cost you a lot more. In my case, it almost cost me everything. It was the third of those three times that I faced myself in the mirror and heard that voice, and this was the time I said yes.

For two-thirds of my life, my story is a story of failure, of self-hatred, of being a bad example. But from the age of 35 to 50, it's a story of repair and redemption. I'll put my humble path to today up against anyone's and dare them to do the work I've done to heal myself and come out who I am today. I'm still married to the same woman for over 25 years now. I've got three amazing kids who I adore. Up until May of this year, I had what I consider to be a dream job until COVID ate it, but I'm still with the same company, and I'm going to bust whatever amount of ass it takes to get my job back or demonstrate the skills I learned there to someone else who's willing to take me. I have a sense of self-worth and purpose that I've never had before, and I'm not taking being a call center tech support agent for the rest of my life. It is a means to an end, and it is not my life's work. I know what that is. It's helping you in the best way I know how: By being not the example of how to fix it, but from showing you by my example, it CAN BE FIXED that you can go from being a person full of anger and self-loathing and cruel behavior to being a person of kindness and compassion and love for people. That you can go from being a person who has no prospects to a person who can go to a job every day that fulfills them personally and professionally. That you can go from being a person who hasn't got their shit together at all to a person that can get morning to night without falling apart at the seams. This is my road, and my lane, but it's big enough for you, and I want you on this road with me. Some of you are gifted and talented beyond description, but the world doesn't know it yet because you have these problems. I know. I get it. I also see who you are, and the world deserves to see you as well. I had no one else to turn to at that last moment, so I did what I had to do. Myself. I'm asking you to take a walk with me because I don't want you to have to do it on your own. I may not know your way home, but I can get you as far as Anchorhead. You can get transport there to Mos Eisley or wherever you're going.

I had to get one joke in there somehow.

Did Joe Know About This?

On the heels of the news of Joe Budden maybe-kinda-sorta-moving his show to Patreon (which is weird since it looks like it’s being hosted on Libsyn now), Spotify has announced plans for multiple business models for podcasts, possibly to include ad-supported subscriptions and a la carte options. These may be discussed at a live stream event later in February.

Asked if Spotify thought customers would be willing to pay for podcasts, Ek on the earnings call responded that he believed there were several new models that could be explored.

“I think we’re in the early days of seeing the long-term evolvement of how we can monetize audio on the internet. I’ve said this before, but I don’t believe that it’s a one-size-fits-all,” he said. “I believe, in fact, that we will have all business models, and that’s the future for all media companies — that you will have ad-supported subscriptions and à la carte sort of in the same space, of all media companies in the future.”

“And you should definitely expect Spotify to follow that strategy and that pattern,” Ek added, more definitively.

The answer seemed to indicate that Spotify is considering some of the ideas in that recent survey — of getting consumers to pay for some podcasts, instead of accessing them all for free or having them bundled into their music subscription.

I wonder if Budden was aware of this and balked. Would there be a revenue split between Spotify and the creators, and what’s the ratio? Now that I think of it, isn’t that what they’ve been crying about re: Apple?

For more than a year, Spotify has been making noise about Apple’s unchecked power over the App Store, and in March 2019, it filed a complaint against Apple with the European Commission. Spotify claims Apple’s practice of taking 30 percent of an app’s revenue is unjustified, and says the company operates as a monopoly on iOS.

Suddenly, I find this Budden/Spotify deal more intriguing.

Wait, You Can Make Money Doing That?

Julie Miller from Vanity Fair writes about Hollywood coming over to the Pod Side for ‘fun and profit’:

…entertainment types began orbiting the audio space about two years ago in earnest, as the number of Americans listening to podcasts every month headed toward the 100 million it is today. It was also around 2018 that agencies like CAA began incorporating audio deals into their development packages. One insider estimates that many celebrities could get a six-figure guarantee per year, with the biggest actors receiving between $1 million and $3 million to launch an unscripted podcast. Scripted projects offer less up-front money but can be adapted into TV shows, films, books, and so on.

For the record, I am Steve Jobs, “Podcasts are Amateur Hour" Years Old. For years, podcasting was seen as less-than, so when I see stories like this, the little imp of the perverse in the back of my head tosses a bone at every true media elitist who, strangely, has a podcast now..

How About Not Doing That?

Chris Curran over at PES has a question about your thin mouth:

When I’m doing my fine-tuned editing on a podcast episode I use TwistedWave or Sound Forge because they allow me to VERY QUICKLY zoom in, highlight very small things like single mouthclicks, and delete them. 

When I try to make the same kind of edit in a DAW (Reaper and others) it takes forever. 

What say you?

For the most part, my workflow tends to remove mouth clicks, or at the very least minimize them. If they still show up through my noise gate, I highlight and remove them. I can’t say this happens often because I like to make sure I keep some water near me while I’m recording. The single biggest thing you can do to prevent mouth clicks is to keep hydrated. Remember, you can’t fix it in Post if it never happens in the first place.

Shot Of The Day

[yzssie]

FANFIC GONE... GOOD? Pt. 1

Characters: Tom Hiddleston x reader

Chapters: 1/3

Warnings: (College) Teacher x student, smut.

Words: 2.8k

A/N: Ok so I thought of posting this yesterday since we had a birthday boy ❤ But I was out all day so I couldn’t proof-read. I had to split this fanfic in two parts because I wrote over 5k words, Jesus Christ I WAS EXCITED. Therefore, the first chapter has no smut and is just explaining our situation /evil Loki creepy smirk/ Without further ado, action!

*part 3 is out, check Masterlist*

English literature was a course you always loved but surprisingly, things could get even better than you thought.

Your original teacher moved away and the college was obliged to hire someone new since the other teachers were already busy. You weren’t expecting that the nice old lady who made you love literature more than you already did, was going to be replaced with the most handsome male you have ever seen before your eyes.

Mr. Tom Hiddleston. Now, you don’t want to sound desperate but, the truth has to be spoken. The fact that he is an English literature teacher makes him twice as hot as he already is.

The first time you saw him entering the classroom you couldn’t help but stare, and you weren’t the only one. His tall lean figure was graciously walking to his desk. His white shirts, God bless his outfits choices, was perfectly wrapping his burly chest, so you could almost see his delicious abs through the thin material. His long legs were taking slow but long steps, swaying his hips in the most tenacious, yet manly, intimidating style. His pants were molded on his round ass in a way that made your fists clench at the thought of running your fingers along his back muscles, down to his spine and finally grabbing those delectable asscheeks. His eyebrows were furrowed, cheekbones popping out, his strong jawline covered with a trace of a copper beard, and as soon as his shiny blue eyes moved to scan the whole room, his lips broke into a charming smile before as he introduced himself. If his tantalizing face wasn’t enough, his voice was so deep and husky, you swore your lower part trembled in arousal. Studying your professor, instead of studying his actual notes, you observed he has a habit of running his long fingers through his brown curls and of licking his lips when he concentrates on an answer. During the class, he is usually rolling up his sleeves to the elbow, showing up his veiny and muscular arms.

That’s what got you here now, typing silently on your laptop while darting your eyes on the enticing teacher. You have this secret Tumblr blog you’re running, writing smutty content in order to relieve yourself from the sexual frustration you’ve built up all these years while not finding the right time to enter in a relationship. You had a considerable amount of followers who are always excited about every new story you post. You would have never done this at school, but Mr. Hiddleston right here doesn’t help your current state too much and you couldn’t handle yourself. Thoughts flow continuously as he’s teaching his course, your fresh new teacher x student piece of work is extremely appreciated. You are almost in the last row of seats, the row behind you is empty. The perfect place for nobody to pay attention to what you are doing besides your best friend seated next to you, rolling her pen while concentrating on your teacher’s remarks. The third chapter is getting a good start until a little bump in your sides startles you and when you look up at your teacher you find him staring directly at you.

“Miss Y/N, have you been listening to what I was saying?”

Panic envelops your whole mind. Shit, we're talking about Othello, aren’t we? You steal a glance at your best friend’s laptop and read her last phrase. Your answer is more a question than an answer and he narrows his eyes.

“Are you asking me or are you answering me?”

“Answering,” you try to sound more confident but you’re pretty sure he saw your eyes flash to your friend’s notes.

“Indeed we were,” his lips tighten as he glances at the clock. “Please send me your essay on our last analyzed work now and then you’re free,” he tells to the class after throwing another short judging look to your presence.

You admit that you are extremely embarrassed right now, so you quickly close both of your fanfiction and essay and attach the document on your desktop to the email before sending it to Mr. Hiddleston. You get up quickly and mutter a “goodbye” while your friend storms out after you.

“I have told you that you need to get a grip of yourself!” she states while she’s struggling with her bag.

“I know,” you sigh taking a seat on the closest free bench you find. “I love literature and I am usually paying attention, but… look at him!... It’s like… like he’s sculpted by the Gods,” you roll your eyes and your friend chuckles.

“You and every other girl drooling over our literature teacher.”

“I am pretty sure you'd do the same if you didn’t have a boyfriend,” you peer at her as you’re starting your laptop again.

“Your new fanfiction is really good though,” she grins at you and you smirk back.

“That’s why I was a little bit absent. It… gets better if I write it while I have the inspiration in front of me,” you crack your hands before opening your fanfic folder and your breath hitches.

“What?”

“Fuck, fuck fuck fuck fuck, why isn’t it here?” you curse and go back to the desktop to open the document saved there.

“Oh my God,” your whole body freezes as the file named “Document” which was supposed to be the essay was actually the third part of your newest fanfiction. You were in such a hurry that you forgot to rename the fanfiction file and switch to the specific folder for fanfiction. The actual essay file was in your documents folder, where you saved it last night at 4 am. You were too tired to review it and you just lazily saved it as it was, without a name or a specific location. You were actually planning to read it again and make the final touches during class but you were caught up in the fanfic and forgot to do it and then Mr. Hiddleston flustered you and… you’ve just ruined your life.

“Earth to Y/N, what happened?” your friend shakes you and your face contorts in regret.

“I have sent… I… the file… my fanfic….” you were stammering with your words.

“You sent Mr. Hiddleston the fanfic you wrote about him?!” she whispers and you nearly scream at her.

“INSPIRED!” you nearly yelled at her before pausing, “Inspired by him,” your voice lowers and you feel your whole existence crumbling away.

“Shit. Just… send him another email with the right document and tell him that you mistakenly attached a different file.”

Your fingers were shaking on the keyboard while browsing through the Gmail again.

“What if he opens it?”

“I don’t know… write something like “please ignore it?” “

“That’s exactly the wrong thing to say. He might get more curious.”

“Then just send it by saying you got the wrong essay and done.”

“I have to erase that email,” you shudder after you successfully sending the right file.

“Sure, what are you going to do? Break into his office?”

You turn your head at your friend and she frowns.

“No… no no no. Are you crazy? This might get you expelled!”

“The fanfiction itself will get me expelled!”

“Maybe he won’t read it. C’mon, you gave him another file. Why would he bother?”

“Wouldn’t you?”

“I… I guess so. But he’s a teacher.”

“So what, you think teachers have no curiosity?”

“Y/N, breathe, relax. You can’t break in anyways, the cameras will see you. And how are you supposed to open an unlocked door? You may have been watching Supernatural but your bobby pin skills are shit.”

“I can… I can just wait for him to exit his office and quickly get inside and and…”

“Who doesn’t lock their office while they’re out?”

“Even for a bathroom break?” you realize that you sound stupid but right now, you couldn’t allow that man to have that piece of work in his fucking email inbox.

“Let’s say he does. What will happen when you’re seen on camera?”

“Teacher offices don’t have cameras inside.”

“And the hallway one?”

“Do you think they actually pay attention to all of them?”

“I don’t know.”

“In that case… I will enter, delete what I have to delete fast and then get out and wait at the door for him. If someone actually checks the cameras, I can say that I wanted to talk with him and I didn’t find him inside so I left his office and waited.”

“You will enter his fucking office! And stay for like at least two minutes. It only takes a quick glance inside to see that he’s absent!” your friend’s arms raise in the air exasperatedly.

“I’ll just say that I stormed in without thinking and I knocked over something in his office and picked it up to put it back in place and then...”

“You’re stupid,” she finally concludes. “Do not do that,” she stands up and heads for the next class. “Coming?”

I look at her with pleading eyes and she shakes her head. “I’m not getting into this. And neither you are. Now be a good girl and go to your next class without causing trouble.”

You had two different courses from your friend, the optional ones which were split into two groups because of the large number of students who applied for them. Unfortunately, you were in the last group because of your last name’s first letter and your friend was in the first one. You considered it bad luck before, but now you were happy that you would be separated from your friend for 4 hours so you could get away with your idiotic plan.

“Ok,” you mutter and feign to have lost all the interest in whatever mission you planed.

“Good.”

Ok. Breathe. You can do this, somehow.

You lean on the wall, watching from the end of the hallway the door of Mr. Hiddleston's office. Classes already started so it means he has no courses for now. Perfect. It's near lunch break so he might actually get out to grab something while he still has free time. And indeed he does, only that he locks the door. You hide behind the corner as he turns around and heads for somewhere.

Maybe she was right… Who would leave their office door unlocked? Your concentration draws back to Mr. Hiddleston's gracious form entering back into his office, carrying some papers. Damn. This will be harder than you have expected. You really hoped that there's going to be an opening but two hours pass and you're still there. He leaves from the office two more times by the third hour, each time locking the door. When you almost give up, another door cracking sound gets your attention and your teacher leaves his office WITHOUT unlocking the door. Your mouth drops for a few seconds, then run to the room you have been watching. Your heart pounds like crazy when you get in and quickly head for his computer. You click on the Gmail icon and your chest stings. He is not logged in. Why??? A low groan escapes your throat and right at that moment the door flings open, displaying Mr. Hiddleston in full grace. Your eyes widen and hands start to tremble on the desk while he actually doesn’t seem that surprised by your presence.

“You’d better have an extraordinarily believable excuse for this situation Miss Y/N. Or this is going to get a lot worse than it already is.”

Your breath is caught in your throat, chest clenching in panic. You would find this exciting if you were living in your damn fanfiction, but this is real life and the chances of being expelled are now very high.

“I'm… I… Mr. Hiddleston,” your eyes are fixed on his strong gaze, burning holes into your flushed face.

“See Miss Y/N, you're not very subtle at spying someone. And I want to believe you're more than just a cheating student, which I actually doubt it since you have been ranked top of this course for quite some time.”

“I AM SO SORRY. I… I WAS WRITING SOMETHING ELSE DURING TODAY'S CLASS BECAUSE I READ ALL THE NOTES YOU GAVE, NOT JUST THE INTRODUCTION THAT YOU ASSIGNED SO I MADE THE BAD CHOICE TO CONTINUE WORKING ON THAT… SOMETHING ELSE BUT I PANICKED WHEN YOU SAW ME AND INSTEAD OF HOMEWORK I HAVE SENT YOU THE DOCUMENT I WAS WRITING AND IT IS VERY PERSONAL THEREFORE I WANTED TO DELETE IT BEFORE YOU COULD SEE IT!” your voice becomes higher and shaky as you speak.

“And why didn't you just send the correct file afterward?”

“I did but... I was afraid that you might still check the first one.”

Mr. Hiddleston scoffs, “What do you take me for? I have no interest in other than the essay I asked for.”

“I… knew… it.”

“But you still thought it was a good idea to sneak into my office?”

“Just in case you might accidentally…”

“Enough!” his stern voice startles you and you yelp.

“This is a very serious situation. However I do not have time to deal with it now,” his presence moves next to yours and you back up from the desk. He types something, the silence between you two killing you. He motions to move closer and you do so.

“Is this the wrong one?” he points.

You nod, afraid to make another sound which might upset him further. He presses the delete button and you would have enjoyed this accomplishment if it weren’t for the given situation. You want to melt into the ground.

“Now get out!” his tone was calmer this time although you can still sense the annoyance. With your head slightly bowed, you apologize again and storm out the door.

He couldn't just believe his eyes. You actually had the audacity to break into a teacher’s office. Was that wrong document even the real reason? Or was it a lie for some sabotage? His mind was going wild with scenarios, and he couldn't handle himself. Curiosity? At first, he might not have opened both files but after you have just risked getting expelled for some stupid document, he admits that it stirred some curiosity. But now he could cover it up with the fact that he has to make sure this whole situation happened truly because of that personal thing.

He pinches the bridge of his nose and seats on his leather chair, his hand involuntarily retrieving your email from the Bin Folder. He opens it and a single-page story pops out on the computer screen. He scans the writing and can’t figure what exactly that is. It’s a story for sure... with a teacher? At the end of the file, there’s a link and he almost has second thoughts but clicks on it anyways and a Tumblr page opens in his browser. What is he doing? He knows that this kind of site has, different things and here he is: a grown ass adult checking a student personal material. Now, he probably would have stopped if it weren’t for you breaking into his office, so he throws away any guilt and starts reading whatever popped on the site. And then his mouth drops. This is a written fantasy of yours with… a teacher. He shakes his head and closes his eyes for a moment. This is an actually pleasingly written piece of work, though it’s all, adult content. He shifts in his seat, already feeling a little bit turned on by the amazingly details given. However, he’s soon hard enough when he reads the description of the teacher and becomes aware of the similarities between him and the character…He shakes his head, maybe it’s just his imagination, but then, a specific comment catches his attention.

Tumblr user comment: This is so good! Can you tell us which celebrity do you portray as the teacher?

Your comment: Oh! I actually do not have one. I could say I am inspired by someone real /wink/, but can’t reveal more. I don’t want to get kicked out because I daydream of my teacher hahaha

Tumbler user comment: Omg, author has a hot teacher! Keep up with the good work!

You have been writing your sexual fantasies about him, during his own class. He is struck by your boldness and can’t admit this doesn’t thrill him. Of course, he is aware he has a specific presence, students might swoon over him and it was possible that some might even daydream about different scenarios. The fact that you are one of the most down to Earth and most talented students he has ever meet, has some stirring effect to his own self. He would have never imagined this kind of scandalous relationship even if he’s a college teacher for master degree courses and the given situation isn’t exactly illegal or forbidden. He always sees his students as just his students. He groans and closes the page quickly.

This won’t do it. Just erase everything you read from your  mind and act as if this never happened, Tom.

Taglist opened(please mention which one do you want): 

Loki/ Tom Hiddleston taglist: @drakesfiance , @cutiepotpie177 , @brokenthelovely , @ultrailoveharrystylesblog, @mooncrow123 , @heart-shaped-hell

[calleo-bricriu]

So, this is some absolute horse shit I thought I'd left in 2018.

You see, these two (justasimplesecretary/fear-in-psychology and wewhoareflawed) were part of a small group, with A being someone I'm 99% sure has an OC whose first name starts with the same letter, who decided they didn't care for a Grindelwald player who went by Miss T.

I have no dog in this race, I've only spoken to Miss T on a couple of occasions and had one short thread. I do, however, have almost 30 years of group RP experience one way or another under my belt and have absolutely no tolerance for people who act like this toward a player they just happen to personally dislike, nor do I think they ought to be allowed their feeling of safety in being anonymous; people like this bank on the fact that nobody wants to “start drama” so they never get called to task in public for their poor public behavior.

Fortunately for me, I realized long ago that that attitude means they just know they can keep getting away with it

But from what I was able to find out from the involved parties they decided they disliked Miss T for reasons along the lines of:

- Refused to let their character Godmode/be more skilled than Grindelwald.

- Refused to ship with their character.

- Got tired of plots where their character always had to be the center of attention or I'd pitch an OOC fit until they relented.

And Miss T eventually got sick of it and cut them off, which is entirely fair.

And they made a "burn blog" which is still up here https://only-good-somethymes.tumblr.com/ Since I don’t trust them not to delete it (they’ve renamed it at least once), the most recent post on that blog was one I’d written specifically after one of that blog’s owners demanded to know what ‘good callout’ vs. a ‘bad callout’ was: https://shark-eat-you-for-lunch.com/post/177429861259/hey-lets-talk-about-callout-posts#_=_ There’s very little reason for me to post the IM logs in which they’re both all giggly about their involvement in this until they realized I wasn’t laughing with them but, I do have those transcripts.

They also started going around sending anonymous messages to people who wrote with Miss T or who followed Miss T saying things like, "You know Miss T is into clopping right?" in some bizarre effort to discredit or embarrass Miss T.

Eventually Miss T deleted one blog and disappeared from Tumblr for awhile because of the harassment; I think they were back for awhile over the winter, but I forget the URL they had

I found out about it because two of the people involved somehow thought I'd find it hilarious; one hinted that she knew who was behind it and the other eventually told me and both were somehow blindsided by the fact that I read them the fucking riot act for their behavior.

But, silly me, I accepted their apology, their "it won't happen again" and what do I see on my dash this afternoon?

The same three bratty children still making the same jokes and behaving in the same way.

I don't know how any of them could still think this kind of thing is okay or makes them look good, and you can best believe I've filled in people I know are mutuals to warn them about the kind of behavior these people have no problem dishing out toward players they decide they don’t like, because they've proven they'll turn on you if you do something they don't like and have also proven that they may also just try to start a targeted campaign of harassment.

Make no mistake, almost 30 years of dealing with group RP that has included people like this has taught me that they will absolutely be nice to your face until you do something they don’t like, at which point their “friendship” will seem to cool and you’ll eventually find out they’re shit talking you to their newest group of friends. That’s a standard MO with roleplayers who think it’s funny to harass or make fun of other roleplayers they don’t like for whatever reason.

If you ever wonder why some people seem to have entirely new friend groups every 6 months while their old group is still active, it’s usually because they behave like this and eventually get asked to leave.

What those who are mutuals with myself and these two choose to do is ultimately up to them, and I’m certainly not going to tell anyone who they can and can’t roleplay with, but I have exactly zero problems in letting people I consider friends know the kind of behavior I experienced when those people were in my RP circles.

People who want to play with matches better be prepared to have a Fandom Old come in carrying napalm until you sit your asses down and either stick to your own private circles or learn to behave like proper adults.

I do not apologize for any part of what I’ve just said; the three of you have proven over and over again that you’re genuinely catty, two faced, nasty little people and I won’t even say I expected that from people who were 16 and 18 at the time, because I know several people in that age range who would look at this and be just as pissed off that someone would think your behavior is acceptable.

And, frankly, I hope Miss T is still around and writing Grindelwald, because their interpretation was great to read outside the threads that felt forced when you brats wanted all parts of the plot to be all about your characters.

I vaguely remember a name they had about two years ago but can’t find it anymore, and I really hope catty little brats like the above didn’t drive them off from writing entirely.

P.S. Pointing out someone’s objectively terrible behavior is not a “hate post” nor is it “starting drama”. If those three didn’t want drama they would have just taken the L and moved on when they had their falling out with Miss T.

[junjosekaimangalover]

Jason Todd X Singer! Fiancee! Reader - Under The Red Hood Part 1

DC Comics Oneshots And Imagines ~Oneshots *Requests Open *

DC's Batman X Reader

Jason Todd X Singer! Fiancee! Reader - Under The Red Hood Part 1 - * Not A Request * * Slight Smut Warning *

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I don't own the DC Comic Book/TV Shows/Movie series Batman nor do I own any of the characters from the franchise. I just own my writing skills and my very active imagination. I really hope you all enjoy this oneshot I made.

This is a Jason Todd oneshot ( or Jason, 2nd Robin, Red Hood ) and this oneshot takes place during the film: Batman: Under The Red Hood. So if you don't know the story of Jason Todd after he became the 2nd Robin or you haven't seen the movie then SPOILER ALERT: BEWARE!!

If you don't want to be spoiled then don't read this oneshot until you've watched it.

Other than that lovely note, enjoy this oneshot~!

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Your POV:

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( Author's Note: The reader doesn't know that Jason Todd was Robin or Red Hood, nor does she know about Bruce Wayne being Batman. She'll find out though. )

It had been about year since my beloved Jason had passed away and it had taken me by surprise. I couldn't deal with it at first, I barely slept, I barely ate, I barely moved, I barely did anything at all and it badly affected my career and personal life so I had step down from my current job as singer.

Fortunately, I had my friends, family, fans and my deepest and closest friend; Bruce Wayne to help me in my time of need. After a few months had passed after Jason's death, I started to get better little by little and then my music career got back on schedule.

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" Okay, just like that (Y/N___ )! " My photographer, Harold, said to me with a pleasing smile on his face.

" You got it! " I replied back to him while smiling back as I striked another pose.

" Can we get some more smoke up in here, I need my prize singer to look like she's in a mystical place right now! " Harold yelled out in front of the entire crew to get at least one of them to get a smoke machine.

" Hahaha.... " I laughed out loud.

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* 30 minutes later *

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" Okay, that's a wrap people! We'll see all of you lovelies next week for the premiere of the promotion ad. " Harold yelled out while he whipped out his camera and began to scroll through the photos of me. I leaned over his shoulder and watched him scroll through them kinda fast.

" Uh, Harold? "

" Yes, my star model? " He replied without even turning his head towards me.

" I've um noticed that....you haven't deleted any of my photos. " I said.

" Yeah, and? " He replied while still not facing me.

" Well, I've observed you long enough to know that when you are done taking pictures of your models that you go through them and delete the photos you don't like or just doesn't work. However, you haven't deleted any of mine. " I pointed out to him.

" Yeah, because every photo of you is gorgeous so deletion is not necessary for you. " Harold said while approaching the last photo. I blushed a little bit.

" B-But what about this one, I look kind of silly in this don't I? " I pointed towards my face in the photo when I accidentally cracked a smile at the time.

" Oh please darling, silly is the new sexy to me. Besides, you need to be genuine in your photos otherwise the public won't like them. " Harold said reassuring me while turning the camera off.

" Silly is the new sexy? Why do I have a that will somehow catch on and become a thing? " I said while smiling slightly.

" That's because it will! I said it first and what I say and do instantly becomes popular! " Harold said while smiling brightly.

" Right. So Harold, should I have tried to be more sexy in some of those photos? " I asked.

" Tried!? Ha! Sweetheart, you're a natural at it and if you try to become even more sexy then our ovaries would have exploded and we would have passed out on the spot. " Harold places a hand on my shoulder, laughing.

" Awww that's sweet, I bet you say that about all of your models. " I said while looking down at my feet but then both my and Harold's head quickly turned to the left to see one of the staff members scoffing.

" Ha! No he doesn't. You are one of kind (Y/N___), In fact I can't even begin to tell you half of the stuff he says about the other models. " The staff member said while moving one of the lights across the room.

" What!? The clients I get stuck with are nothing but stuck up princess who think that they are all hot stuff because they have somewhat good looks and some little fame added to their resumes! " Harold yelled back and ran after the staff member.

I could only laugh at the sight of this wonderful moment and walk towards to my dressing room so I could change out of my modeling clothes and into my regular clothes.

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* 1 Hour Later *

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I walked through the streets of Gotham and towards my flat. I walked towards my flat door and scrambled through my purse for my keys. I finally found them and unlocked the door, I entered my flat while placing the keys in the key bowl next to the door.

As I close the door, I placed my handbag down onto the couch and my pet dog came running up to me while barking his head off.

( Author's Note: If you're allergic to dogs then switch to cats and if your allergic to both then pretend whatever animal you want as your pet. )

" Summer? What's the matter boy? " I asked him but he just kept barking like crazy.

( Another Author's Note: I chose Summer as the pet's name and if you don't like it then you can change it. )

Summer then ran off to my bedroom door and began to scratch and paw at it. I quickly got the knife that was in my handbag and cautiously began to approach the door. I was thinking that maybe someone had broken into my flat despite it being locked earlier.

As I approached the door, I took a hand on the doorknob and quickly opened it and swung the door open. When I looked into my bedroom, I saw nothing. I sighed in relief while thinking that maybe someone did come in but they left just before I got home. I walked over to my bed and sat down on the comfy mattress. I then flung the knife over to my dartboard on the wall.

" I see you still haven't lost your signature touch for the game. " I heard a deep voice and I quickly turned my head to see a masked figure in the corner of my room.

" Aah! Who are you!? What do you want!? And.... " I started and then he hushed me while walking over to me and kneeling down to my level.

" Hush now sweetheart, your love from the past has come back for you. " The man in the red hooded mask said gently and took my hand and brought it to his masked face.

" That's impossible, the only love I had in the past was Jason and he and my love are buried 6 feet underground! " I whipped my hand away and stood up angrily.

" Oh it's so sweet to hear that you haven't moved on from me (Y/N__). " The Red Masked man said.

" What did you just say? " I said in a tone mixed with anger and confusion.

" I said I think it's very sweet to see that you haven't moved on from me. " He replied.

" Moved on from you? What are you even talking about? Do I know you? " I asked now demanding answers.

" Oh well I don't suppose you would recognize me while I'm wearing this. " The masked man then pressed a button on the back of his red hood and I heard a hissing noise and then he dropped his mask onto the ground.

I saw the mask hit the ground and I looked up to see the strange man covered by another mask, it was covering his eyes.

" Well? How about now? " He asked me while getting closer to me, close enough to feel his breath on my face. When I heard his voice out of the mask, it sounded somewhat familiar and calming. I looked more closely at his facial features while trying to place where I might have seen him before.

" Do you mind if I? " I said while placing both of my hands on each side of his head and towards the mask.

" Go right ahead. " He said. I took off his black mask and I quickly dropped the mask and slightly gasped.

Jason, It was my Jason. My beloved fiancee whom I had lost for about a year and who I believed to be dead for the rest of my life.

" J-Jason? " I muttered out his name.

" That's right (Y/N___ ) I'm really happy you didn't move on from me. If you did then I would truly be lost right now. " Jason said while grabbing both of my hands and kneeling in front of me again.

I could only stare at Jason with wide eyes and my mouth hanging open a little while my mind races about 1000 miles per second. My mind filling with questions about Jason and questioning whether or not any of this was real.

About 25 minutes later had passed and Jason was sitting next to me and I was just keeping the silence from being broken. Jason was sitting next to me on the bed and turned his head slightly to me and he had a concerned look on his face.

" (Y/N__)? " Jason said my name to get my attention.

" I'm here! " I replied while looking at him with a blank expression on my face.

" How are you with processing the fact that I'm not dead? You've been quiet for the pass 30 minutes. " Jason then placed a hand on my shoulder as he asked me.

" Oh I'm fine, really. So.....how did you um.....get raised from the dead? " I asked while trying to calm my brain down so I wouldn't freak out.

" By being bathed in a rejuvenating pool of youth. " Jason answered me rather quickly.

" Uh-huh, when did that happen? " I nodded while asking him another question.

" About 3 months after my death. "

" I'm sorry what? "

" What? "

" You were alive 3 months after your death and you didn't bother coming to me or Bruce until now? " I started getting more confused and definitely mad.

" Well, I had to wait to come to you. Bruce on the other hand was a different story. " Jason replied.

" Wait a minute, wait one freaking minute. You went to Bruce first and then you waited all this time to come and see me? While I mourned your death for many months and I was all alone in my home waiting for death to come and get me so I could be with you again, you were alive the ENTIRE time and you didn't even bother coming here to let me know you were alive and okay!? " I yelled at him.

" (Y/N__ )! Please calm down! I couldn't let you see me in the current state I was in at the time! If I did then you would never want to be with me again! " Jason yelled back in defense.

" You're such an idiot Jason! We've been together for 6 years and I cannot believe you still don't know one single thing about me! I would've loved you and wanted to be with you no matter what you looked like. You're so stupid! " I yelled at him again as tears poured down my face.

" I'm....I'm sorry (Y/N___ )... " Jason hung his head in shame with a frown on his face.

" Yeah....well not as sorry as your about to be. " I whispered as I then attacked him with such force that it knocked him down onto the ground.

" What are you doing (Y/N___)!? " Jason asked me in major confusion as watched me pin his wrists with my hands.

" I'm getting my revenge you jerk. " I slapped him and sat on his waist so that he couldn't move.

" What kind of revenge are we talking about? " Jason asked nervously.

" That's for me to know and for you to eventually find out in time. " I said while gripping my hands tighter around his wrists.

" Agh! " Jason grimaced in pain.

" That's exactly how I felt with the months that passed by without you. " I said while my tears continued to fall down my face.

" I'm sorry (Y/N___ ), truly I am. However, It's nice to see you still have the fighting skills I taught you on hand but unfortunately right now is not the time to use them my love. " Jason said while frowning.

" I know but you deserve it. " I replied while trying to not look at him.

" I know and you deserve this. "

Jason then flipped his entire body over and on top of mine and I yelped as my body hit the ground. He then pinned my wrists with his hands and started to kiss my neck down to my collar bone. I moaned out accidentally while closing my eyes, not wanting to look at him.

" Honey, I'm sorry for not coming to you right away when you needed me the most but I'm here now and I'm not going anywhere ever again. I'm here to stay and for you only. " Jason said while placing his lips on top of mine and we kissed so sweetly that I wanted more of him so I dropped my act of revenge and resistance.

" Okay....I'm sorry for hitting you. " I said while kissing his sweet lips over and over again.

" It's alright, you're not the only one who's been hitting me. Bruce was pretty pissed too. " Jason said while unpinning my wrists from his strong hands.

" Has he? " I said in the midst of out kiss while wrapping my arms aroung Jason's neck.

" Oh yeah but I've handled worse to be honest. " Jason's hands then traveled down from breasts and down to my waist.

" Wow, I've missed you so much Jason. " I moaned out.

" You have no idea how much I've missed you as well, especially with all of those sexy ads of you plastered all over Gotham City. " Jason said and as I pulled away from our kiss to breathe, I blushed.

" You saw those? " I asked.

" Oh yeah, it was hard for me not to come here and make you mine while I was covered in scars. " Jason said rubbing himself against on me. I moaned louder this time.

" Well you should've. " I said while trying to compose myself.

" I know. " He says while rubbing harder.

" We got a lot of catching up to do. " I said while trying to keep my moans in.

" Oh yes we do. " Jason smirked at me.

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Well here is part 1 of my new DC Imagines And Oneshots Series. I hope you've enjoyed it so far.

P.S - Don’t copy/paste and then steal this. This is my work

[ridiculousn3sswrites]

Bitter End

*Platonic Loki x Reader

*Summary: Reader looks back on their friendship with Loki.

*Warnings: Angst

*A/N: So this is neither the new chapter for My Princess nor college fluff, but it’s something I was able to write and helped me face my own feelings about a situation like this. By the way, would y’all be interested in me sharing my Instagram with you guys? Just a thought.

**********

It was another Saturday night spent alone in your room as you tried to work on anything. You were supposed to write a new chapter for your followers, but the inspiration just seemed to evade you. Your phone lit up with a notification from Instagram, so you decided to just go on there to waste some time while you tried to figure out where you were going with your story. Somehow, instead of going through your feed, you ended up on your own page, looking through your pictures. You laughed as you read through your friends’ comments, their stupid memey comments always making you feel better. It wasn’t until you hit a picture from nearly two years ago that you stopped, the username making your heart ache a little.

Godsgreatesttrickster.

**********

The two of you met in middle school, he was the new kid in your eighth grade class. At first you hadn’t really planned on befriending him, but he was friends with one of your friends, and everything just seemed to fall into place from there. The two of you were into a lot of the same things: the same shows, the same fandoms, the same music, the same type of humor. Once you got past the initial stage of awkwardness you had with everyone you met, you realized just what great friends the two of you could be.

You and Loki became nearly inseparable, even though you both had your own friend groups. The two of you hung out the most often when you were with your mutual friend, and you didn’t really talk to each other out of school, but you still had a great connection. Within a year Loki had become one of your closest friends, and you would even consider him one of your best friends.

Once eighth grade ended, you kind of figured that your friendship would either die out or continue into high school. You didn’t even really know which high school he was going to, but you were kind of okay with that. Sure, you were really good friends, but you’d only been friends for a year so it wasn’t as difficult as it would’ve been if you’d been friends for longer. It wasn’t until a few weeks into summer vacation that Loki messaged you on Kik. That entire summer you two were texting, just talking about anything and everything that popped into your minds. Even though you weren’t seeing each other every day like you did in school, you were probably getting closer to each other than you did during school.

It didn’t take long for you to find out Loki was going to the high school across town instead of the one next to your middle school. You were kind of bummed out about that when you found out, but at least it wasn’t like either of you were actually moving. You’d still be able to see each other on weekends and stuff, just like you were planning since your other best friend was moving to the next town over. You knew that for a good friendship like this, it didn’t really matter if you saw each other every day.

Throughout the year, the two of you kept in touch nearly every day even though you never physically saw each other. On the weekends you’d call for hours at a time on Skype, just happy to sit there as you each scrolled through whatever on your phones. You’d be texting during classes, he’d be telling you how he hated his new school because he didn’t know anyone there. You always talked about him transferring to your high school, but you both knew it probably wouldn’t happen. Even though it was unlikely, just saying it kept your hopes up, and it helped Loki get through his days. With everything that happened during your respective freshmen years, it was never like you went through it alone even if you didn’t have your two best friends there with you.

Near the end of your freshman year it happened. Loki got expelled from his high school. As soon as he was in the principal’s office waiting for his mom to show up, he had already started texting you. You were in Spanish when you got the first text. The entire year he’d been getting bullied by some other guys, and he’d finally reached his tipping point. He didn’t get into a physical fight or anything, but he’d blown up on them during class, and when his teacher tried to stop him, he’d yelled at her too. You didn’t know all the details, only what he’d told you, but you knew it had to be worse than you thought if your normally mild-mannered friend blew up like that.

He’d been freaking out when he talked to you about it, but you tried to calm him down by joking that he could finally transfer to your school if he got kicked out of his. When the news came that he’d officially been expelled, you didn’t know what to think. You were always worried about him, but if he came to your school then you could keep an eye on him and make sure he was okay. Your hopes were crushed about a week later when he found out that he wouldn’t be allowed to transfer to any of the schools in the district. That combined with other issues happening in his family just made the decision for his parents: they were going to move out of state for a fresh start.

When Loki told you he was moving out of state, you felt your heart shatter. He was one of your best friends, and you really couldn’t stand the fact that you wouldn’t be able to see him for who knows how long. What broke your heart even more was that you couldn’t see him on his last day in town, and that was all because your parents dragged you to the Verizon store to figure out what was wrong with your brother’s phone. Your mom felt bad about it later, but that didn’t change the fact that your best friend was now days away and you couldn’t see him one last time.

**********

You clicked on the username, heart breaking further as you saw the dreaded ‘User not found’ message. You already knew that he’d blocked you from his public account because that was the one he used more often, but it still hurt to see that someone you once considered a brother didn’t want you to know anything about his life. You switched over to your professional account, figuring he probably hadn’t blocked you on that one. Sure enough, the profile popped up and you were able to see his posts. His last one had only been a week ago at most.

**********

Throughout high school, the two of you still talked almost every day. The Skype calls started happening less frequently, but they still happened a couple times a month. He still struggled a bit in school; moving after high school already started was a definite change, but he’d been making friends that made it more bearable. You were happy for him, especially since that meant he had other people that could look out for him and be there for him when you couldn’t. 

Though he was having more fun at his new school and was starting to fit in more, he still wanted to come back to your state. He was the one that brought up the idea of both of you trying to get into the same college so you could eventually live together. During one of your Skype calls, you both worked on finding a college that you liked and would be good for what you each thought you wanted to major in. It took a few hours, but you finally found a college you could agree on, both of you excited for the future.

High school was also when you’d started writing and actually posting your stuff online. Loki was one of your biggest supporters, and when you started writing a story with original characters, he was one of the only ones to actually read through it. That encouragement just helped fuel your love for writing, and the two of you collaborated on a few stories so both of you could work on your skills. There were some nights you’d stay up until nearly dawn just to write and talk, and even now you looked back on those nights with fondness.

It wasn’t until your senior year that things kind of started to change. You and Loki still talked a lot, but you noticed he was more hesitant to tell you things that were happening in his life. You kind of figured it was due to the stress of college applications, trying to graduate, and ultimately just stress from life in general. You didn’t blame him, but you also didn’t want him to shut you out completely if he needed someone to be there for him. Even if you weren’t necessarily his first choice anymore, you still couldn’t get over that feeling you’d had since freshman year: you needed to protect him.

Near the end of your senior year, he told you something that you just couldn’t believe. Him and his family were moving back in state, but he was going to be living an hour away. You didn’t care about the distance, even just the possibility of seeing him in person again would be enough. He wouldn’t be back for your graduation, but that was because his school didn’t let out for another few weeks after yours. You tried to figure out if he’d be able to make it to the graduation party, but that was his last day before moving back; and when he was finally back, you’d be on vacation with your family in Spain.

As you were running around, trying to settle things for your graduation party, you watched the livestream for his graduation. Seeing him in his cap and gown, practically beaming as they called his name, made your heart swell in pride. He was in a much better place than he had been for a long time, and you were unbelievably proud of him. You made sure to screenshot him as he walked on the stage, getting his diploma that you knew he worked so hard for. As soon as the ceremony ended, you sent him a text telling him how proud of him you were, and how lucky you felt to call him your best friend.

**********

You scrolled through the pictures, reading his captions. He only had a few posts up, which wasn’t unusual because he tended to delete his older posts. He’d gotten a girlfriend, he was posting best friend appreciation posts about someone else, and you just felt your heart aching as you went through his profile. You were happy that he was doing well, but you still couldn’t help but feel sad about not being part of his life anymore. You knew that people grew apart, but you never imagined it could happen to the two of you. If you were being honest, thinking back on all of the time you’d spent together, being there for each other, and now facing this reality made you want to cry.

**********

If you could really place a time on when things changed, it would be your first year of college. The same year your friendship actually ended. You still tried talking to him, but it fell off like with all of your friends from home. You’d just gotten too busy with everything going on, and Loki didn’t really make the effort to reach out to you either. You checked in on him every now and then, but it just wasn’t the same.

It wasn’t until Thanksgiving that you’d actually properly talked to him again. One of your friends had started a ‘22 Things I’m Thankful For’ thing in her story, and you decided that would be fun so you did it too. You tagged Loki in it as one of the things you were thankful for, and that was when he messaged you. The two of you talked for a long time after that, and you agreed to Skype after you were both back from your Thanksgiving dinners. That night the two of you talked for hours just like you did during high school, and things felt right. 

After Thanksgiving, the two of you talked more often than you had during the first part of the semester. You called a couple times, and it felt like things were going back to normal. As time went on, though, things fell off again. It was during spring semester that you realized he’d removed you from his followers, and when you tried to refollow him, he blocked you. It hurt, but you weren’t going to push him about it. It wasn’t like he was responding to your texts anyways.

**********

You would never fault him for deciding he didn’t want to be your friend anymore, that was his choice who he wanted in his life. There were times that you felt like you needed him, simply because there had been no one that you could trust enough to vent to like you trusted him, but he’d made it clear how things were now. He’d given you six amazing years of friendship, and you were so grateful for that. Sure, sometimes you wondered why he made his decision, but you respected it. You were happy to see your friends grow and get the world (because honestly they deserved the world), even if that meant it was without you. You clicked out of his page, blinking back the tears that threatened to spill over.

The empty feeling would go away eventually, you knew that. Maybe there could be some point in the future that you’d be able to message him and the two of you would reminisce on the good times you’d had. Maybe he’d reach out to you and the two of you would pick up right where you left off like you always seemed to. Maybe neither of those things would happen and you’d just be left with the memories. You made peace with that, and looked back at your laptop. It wasn’t the new chapter that you promised, but you had something to tell your readers now.

**********

Permanent Tag List: @spidey-pal

[inhalareexhalare]

Dianne Is so Awesome but She Might Freak If She Saw Me Post About That/Whatever the Hell Is Happening to Me

I managed to speak with more confidence over the phone with my boss, Dr. Seth. And then I initiated a long conversation with Ms. Dianne that lasted for almost an hour until my boss arrived so we each had to return to our work hahaha

So many stories! I admire her capacity to be patient with people and her capability to keep conversations bright without sacrificing her own feelings. She is driven to be truthful to people, and not just the if-I-am-asked kind; she has the initiative to tell you things that she feels bothered about in you, but with genuine compassion that you don’t feel attacked at all.

She knows how to balance yourself with other people. She knows how to balance teamwork with self-improvement. Most of all, she never allows an external, material, temporary thing to be a basis of motivation. She believes in having a real sense of purpose.

She is the kind of girl who lives in the company of people. She thrives in it.

I admire how she can balance the energy of a conversation (I made sure to let her know this). She doesn't extinguish the negative parts, but she balances it out with her own positive energy. Allowing other people to remember to heal themselves in the process. Spreading a remembrance of hope.She does all this, and she does it without knowing. I can tell she enjoyed trying to really answer why and how she does it.

I don’t have to thrive in it, but I’d like to be able to at least develop it as a skill, so I can also bring people up.

She believes in positive reinforcement, in motivating people to get better by themselves, rather than punishment that might work short-term but in the end kills what matters most.

That is true. I should do my best too.

2019-01-15 10:08 Philippines Friday

To Karu:

i have a letter for you and it contains a bigger perspective to whatever the hell it is that is happening to me

i'm so sorry

After sleeping alone two nights in a row, (the first night with my blood vessels boiling, figuratively, from who knows why, after Karu announced he’ll be away to a beautiful place) I just heard from him (he called me just now) and I felt so...cold. Like, dead cold. I was bitter. Monotone. Indifferent.

I can very easily tell you about my loneliness, reader, and although I won't expound on it I can very easily give some trusted friends a primer about it, but Karu is different. Somehow I feel so restrained to do that, and it's something I'm doing to myself.

I feel so desperate to hide it. It reminds me of how I maintain an icy poker face when others used to bully me (and gave up soon enough because I was indifferent). Is Karu a bully to me? I don't think so. But it's there. The fear of revealing more than I am comfortable to.

So here’s what I found out, in letter form for Karu to read (o my lord i am so sorry you ended up with a person like me who has low understanding of her own emotions):

Why am I so bitter to you

when we speak?

It’s like I don’t want to show

the loneliness inside me

in front of you

I fully enjoy everything

else that is happening

but your voice reminds

me too much of something that I long for

and, in self-dialogue, the second part:

that makes sense.

bitter is a plant

that is taken cared of poorly

but you’re not a plant, are you?

you’re the number one care you have

so be okay with being lonely

be kind to yourself

water yourself as often as necessary

you don’t need to fear yourself 

anymore

Also me, to Karu:

(he needs help to prepare gig clothes for tomorrow, so i’m probably the one available to do just that. he also said he’d be there with me tonight, but even that possibility is something i’m avoiding right now. i’m too scared to hope when i’m on bitter/sulk mode.

 i usually enjoy doing stuff for him but i’m still transitioning from feeling bitter... it takes work. i won’t give up!)

is it oki if [lobo] gets some snack later? i know it's not good to indulge but i might get pissy and stuff doing laundry and getting pissed for no reason haha

From Karu:

Yassss! Although the only thing that needs manual washing is the white button down

To Karu:

unless i get too lazy to bring laundry bags to the laundry shop of course hahaha i honestly think that's more likely to happen XD

my sulky mode needs a lot of working on, and i won't give up, so that might change but this is my mood right now haha still trying to transition properly

From Karu:

It's okay. I can take the stuff to the shop. If I get home early, I should also be able to cook

[Karu] gonna take care of sulky [Lobo]

Will gib hugs toooooo

  To Karu:

:< thanks

From Karu:

It all gud. I just have to get home hahaha 

That’s exactly the hope I’m avoiding right now I’ll just let him read this entry later...

From Karu (cont’d):

Do we haz laundry funds?

[Karu] is gonna get paid tomorrow ehehe

We will also try to start surviving on 200 pur dei

To Karu:

yes

okiii

From Karu:

Awesome heeheehee

Pork steak, yes?

To Karu:

....*•-•* nod

To be honest, I only ever use this awkwardly-self-made-but-too-accurate emoji with Karu. My poker face has zero capability to do this face (or any other emotional face) but the feeling tends to only apply to Karu.

From Karu:

I'll go see if we can go that route today  If not, I'll just think of something else hahaha

Upper limit for food is 250 and lower limit is 150. So I guess we eat less now when we get carinderia food hahaha

Lez get you some art materials and get me some goddamn lessons and yaw yan

Would you like some paint to play with?

Oh fuck I gotta change my strings soon btw. Maybe April or June :)

To Karu:

let's find pout i guess. eating less will probably help me appreciate food more. anything in excess makes us feel sick.

Yaw Yan's good.

painting materials are crazy expensive though

From Karu:

Pout?

To Karu:

out

punintended

freudian slip

lof yu

From Karu:

We can save up for art stuff :)

To Karu:

morp

I notice that Karu isn’t using the “:))” today. Change of brain?

or maybe it’s just the mood.

I’m stopping here, it seems to be irrelevant now lol

2019-01-15 10:50 Philippines Friday

Feeling these things, I was about to do a last-minute ditch a.k.a. escape from my (previously initiated) informal lunch date with the big group of secretaries today, until Dianne reached out her hand to me.

She actually didn’t, but I swear, that was what it was like to me. All she did, really, was beckon. I don’t even think she did it consciously/purposefully. But that. That evaporated all the doubt that I had left of joining them for lunch. 

Her hand in my mind, reaching out for mine. And I took it.

It is good to have good friends. She knows a little about my social anxiety since I told her about it this morning to celebrate and explain my celebration, of my progressing confidence in front of Dr. Seth.

That was what led to us having a long conversation. Halfway, I was almost losing attention, but I willed it on. It was just my fear that was trying to pull me out.

And I made it okay. We made it okay. Her hand, my hand.

I can’t give up now.

This is also training so I can reach out to people who might have similar struggles as myself.

2019-01-15 13:49 Philippines Friday

Aaand he's not home.

Well, I expected as much. It still stings a little though.

It seems he forgot it's Friday again. I get out of work an hour earlier than usual every Friday.

Actually, I don't even think he's coming for dinner tonight. I'm tired.

Guess I'm getting my own food and doing the laundry, then play some mind fucking games later. That should prep me up for tomorrow's story writing.

2019-02-15 18:04 Philippines Friday

Then again, life is only filled with uncertainties.

If I can't even embrace this, I've no right to pursue something as weird as psychology.

(Though I'd only apply this mindset to myself. Tough love works with myself most of the time. If it's my own voice HAHA I'm such a prideful creature.)

Speaking of psychology, what if I happen to unconsciously use Karu at this point in time as a hiding place from myself? My bitter/sulk mode as well as my nighttime separation anxiety are both based on fear of being alone to myself.

Alone with my thoughts. My ultimate chaos. My infantile order. I can't escape order for too long and hide in my mess of chaos. Order is in order. It won't do to just have chaos. I have to systemically know myself.

I didn't know Karu before, but I already had these things a long time ago. I always knew it never was Karu's fault or mistake, but could this be something closer to the truth?

I truly love him, but sometimes I feel weir. Maybe in those "sometimes," I use the warmth of our togetherness as a form of escapism.

Remember the letter I wrote earlier today?

"You don't need to fear yourself anymore."

The last line. I was worried at first that it didn't fit in my poem, especially that my head and hand just sort of spat it out there unconsciously. I seriously considered whether to delete it,

but I couldn't.

A slip of the pen?

I feel like I am closer to my personal truth. If you feel or think though, reader, that something's amiss or inconsistent with my observations and analysis, by all means please share your insight.

For now, I'll keep note of this.

To begin with, when I first was infatuated with Karu, my intention was just all him. He interested me very much. He is my first love. (I'm really lucky to be with someone as willing and patient as him. He isn't patient at all for most things, but he is when it matters.) (I always had a hard time being in love with others. I was indifferent a lot before. I had a sexual crush on my adopted older brother at age 5, and then a mutual crush with a high school close friend that I turned down because I got bored when he confessed. I know, I'm fucked up. But those are tales for another day.) Annnyway. And then I transitioned into the kind of sober love, where it felt like a deep ocean where my infatuation before was just a puddle.

But it never changed the fact that my intention was to make him happy. To love him. To give him affection, attention, and care.

I mean, who enters a relationship thinking, "I want to be with you to become a better person."

NO ONE does! But we all should!

With the all-for-the-other mindset we have, we risk destroying ourselves and even the other in the process.

It's all very romantic and courageous and admirable to have so much passion in caring for another, but forgetting yourself is setting both of you up in a pretty ugly loop.

Point is, getting into any kind of relationship just so you could celebrate not being alone anymore... Sends quite an important message.

You're uncomfortable with being alone with yourself.

You are who you end up with until the end of your life. Might as well learn to love this self.

It's important to take care of your social life, but you need to be doing it for the right reasons.

But don't worry, and don't punish yourself. It wastes time. When you find yourself in misalignment, reconfigure, and start over.

It's never too late, as long as you have breath and you have mind.

Stay Alive, everyone! Never stop learning.

I have feelings. That are unpleasant. That I look for other things that might take it away. But they're never taken away. Only hidden.

It's only now I realize (again), I've been trying to banish something important in me. These unpleasant feelings were treated poorly by myself. I didn't give them enough time. I'm too impatient, too afraid.

But now I remember. To let things go, you've got to let them in first.

Change usually involves more of involvement rather than stepping back.

And besides, learning to be comfortable with who you really are? I'd think that's the true, real love.

2019-02-15 19:13 Philippines Friday

I got to open up a bit about how I am sad to Karu last night.

Also, it's been a while, so I knew he was bursting. I helped him release.

Of course, that made it easy to thaw my ice. But I'd like to be able to learn how to show him more of my loneliness with more willingness.

[maxmiz]

OMFG!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!! mmm I was wondering if you could elaborate a little bit more in Max story? I LOVE how he is Slytherin's heir

Hey there @dangpanterita​. :D Apologies for answering this so terribly late but my job keeps me incredibly busy. Let me elaborate on the two stories:

1. Max’s story in my Potter/Beyblade Headcanon

Max’s story is pretty neatly woven into the Potterverse in my head and my headcanon about him being an heir of Slytherin makes perfect sense somehow when it comes to writing a story with an epic twist. We all picture him either as a Ravenclaw (for his obvious brains), as a Hufflepuff (for his nature) or as a Gryffindor because the kid’s got some courage (he sky-dived off a damned plane to save his friends). And don’t get me wrong, I don’t picture him in Slytherin house either. But as an heir of Slytherin? Hell, yes.

I was working on a fanfic on this for some time while I was still at uni a few years back and I developed a sort of story out of it in my head. We all know that Judy is a hell of a scientist and there’s plenty of evidence in canon to show that she’s extremely shrewd, proud and ambitious - all of which are qualities of a Slytherin through and through. I’m not saying she’s evil though - but she definitely is as much of a morally grey character in my headcanon as she is in actual canon (especially in season 1 where she is undeniably cold to her son for no good reason).

I primarily imagine Judy as the Minister for Magic in my headcanon. A cold but somewhat level headed witch who is pure-blooded,extremely gifted, headstrong and ambitious. She is for the most part motivated only by her instinct for self preservation (arguably a trait of someone who would be a pure Slytherin heir), but she has a soft corner for her half blood son, Max. That is the only thing in the world that made her break away from her family. She abandoned her Slytherin crazed family to protect her son, and severed all ties with her Slytherin roots to move up in the world and become Minister.

So how was Max born at all if she was a typical Muggle resenting Slytherin?

My headcanon is that Taro, Max’s dad, is a Muggle. That Judy, as a teenager, faced a lot of abuse in her household from her father for not channeling her gifts to terrorize Muggle-borns. She runs away one day, drinks a hell of a lot of firewhiskey,meets a teenaged Muggle Taro at a Muggle bar and ends up pregnant. Once she and Taro both sober up, she feels utterly disgusted that she slept with a Muggle. She tries to abort the child, but cannot. Since childhood she’s been wearing her dead mother’s pendant of Genbu (a gift from her father to her mother) and somehow Genbu casts a protective spell around her unborn foetus to ensure the continuity of Slytherin’s bloodline. She feels helpless because she neither wants the child nor does she have the choice to abort it. She feels cursed and knows that her father will kill her child if he knows he’s a half blood. She flees pregnant to the US and with whatever money she had run away with, she joins Ilvermony to complete her final year of education.

She realises, however, that she can’t continue into the next chapter of her life with Max. She wanted to be Minister for Magic and had no interest in being a mother. Also if  her father finds Max, he’ll kill him. But she did love Max. She couldn’t exactly abandon him.

So she reluctantly leaves him with Taro to raise the boy and deletes any permanent records of her being Max’s mother. She gives Max the pendant of Genbu and moves on. Once in every few months she would visit her son, but all of that would happen in secret. Max and Taro knew that Judy was his mother, but the world has no idea.

Max often grew up wondering if his mom is so distant to protect him or if it’s only a facade for her not wanting to raise a child. He often feels conflicted by it (much like in canon).

What is the role of Genbu here?

Genbu, as I mentioned in the earlier headcanon (in the Japanese version of beyblade, Max’s bit beast is called Genbu), is traditionally represented as both a tortoise and a serpent. You can look it up. And that’s where the heir of Slytherin theory finds more support. This is Genbu (source: Wikipedia):

Max was always aware of the fact that the locket that he wore was the locket of Slytherin. He was aware of his heritage because he would often only accidentally be able to control ocean waves, but also speak to snakes before he went to Hogwarts. And of course, Judy told him why he could never reveal who he was.

And truly, because of everything he knew, he begged the sorting hat to not sort him into Slytherin. Eventually he gets sorted into Ravenclaw much to his relief.

Genbu is nothing more than the spirit of Salazar Slytherin trapped in a pendant which gives the heir of Slytherin wearing it the power to harness the same powers as him if ever the Slytherin bloodline is threatened. It can also mess with the head of the wearer.

In my headcanon, ultimately Max fights the spirit from messing with his head and tames it to become who he is. A powerful wizard who controls the element of water and controls serpents.

Max’s personality

In my headcanon, I’ve tried to bring out a darker side of Max. His personality is still the same of course, he’s funny, kind and has a heart of gold. But there’s an inherent darkness inside him. Let’s look at canon for a second. Max never loses his cool. But the few times that he did lose his cool in canon, he channeled his rage into his beyblading to epic proportions. With others, the rage is pretty standard. But when Max would snap, he’d snap big time. When his pride is hurt, he hits back big time.

The guy is smart as hell (calculating angles and saving a puppy with a beyblade requires some brains and skills) which is why he is in Ravenclaw in my story. But, he has all the makings of an heir of Slytherin whose dark side remains buried mostly because the Muggle born blood from Taro’s side keeps him grounded and kind.

Let’s not forget, in my headcanon he’s been raised mostly by Taro. So the kindness is natural. But deep down, he’s every bit his mother’s son too. So I have headcanons about Max having a dark side - a manifestation of his inner Slytherin.

2. Brooklyn’s story in Potter/Beyblade Headcanon

To answer your question, yes, I do picture Brooklyn as Credence to a certain extent. I never actually got to formulating his part of the story in my head but here’s how I imagine it going.

We don’t know a lot about Credence as such. We do know that he is a pure blooded wizard who was raised by an abusive Muggle and developed into an obscurial who somehow survived into adulthood. We also know that he’s extremely powerful, had faced a lot of childhood abuse and had grown up feeling different and alone. And of course, that he was manipulated and used by Grindelwald.

Now let us look at Brooklyn in canon. Brooklyn is also an exceptional wizard. He’s brilliant, a loner and if we look at the very last episode of beyblade, he’s grown up extremely lonely and friendless. He was always different from everyone else, gifted. He has an immense amount of power, is not inherently evil by any stretch of imagination. But judging by canon, it is obvious that Brooklyn has some degree of PTSD and probably had faced tremendous bullying or some form of abuse as child. When Brooklyn is in a mad rage, he assumes this dark uncontrollable form. Also, when BEGA was formed, Beyblade’s key antagonist, Boris (I’m using the English dub name) used Brooklyn and his mad rage and pushed him over the edge.

THIS IS ALL VERY CREDENCE AND GRINDELWALD.

So here’s my headcanon for Brooklyn. Brooklyn was a gifted powerful wizard who never went to Hogwarts. He had a lot of hidden magical talent that he dared not express because the Muggles who raised him were abusive and tried to make him repress it. And he is also an obscurial. I headcanon that Brooklyn’s bit beast is like some physical manifestation of his obscurial form and Boris, for the sake of his personal gains pushes Brooklyn over the age to use his obscurial powers to wreak havoc.

Okay so that’s as much elaboration as I could manage on my headcanons.

Thanks for the question!