#but that she didn’t know lead to what was the funniest interaction I had working there.

[thewitchoftherock]

Imma start sharing work stories from old jobs.

SO.

Once upon a time I started working at a beauty shop. Shop was great; very few complaints. The complaints I do have is all stuff that’s common to retail, so w/e.

Anyway.

for some background, I’m a MASSIVE NERD ( which you k now if you follow my blog) and managing a nice beauty shop wasn’t really where I or anyone else thought I’d be. Most of the people working there weren’t what you’d call my people, but I got along ok with most of them (Sorta. That’s other stories XD)

So one day i’m working the evening shift, and my coworker comes in. The coworker I was working with was very valley girl. She was nice, don’t get me wrong! Her biggest fault at the time was that she was young, and I don’t blame anyone for being young.

She comes in on this day, starts working, and says to me while we’re working. “Omg, Witchy, I’m *such a nerd*”

I chuckle, “Oh? How are you a nerd today?”

“I just saw the new Spider-Man movie with my boyfriend.”

This was in 2012. So, I think that being a nerd wasn’t quite “cool” yet, but it was getting there! So, her comment was only a little self disparaging. Like she was talking about a guilty pleasure. I chuckle again, “Don’t worry; if you’re a nerd, you’re in good company.”

“What do you mean?” She asks.

“Oh, well, I’m a massive nerd!”

“No you’re not!”

I hadn’t been here long at this point, and being “weird” (newly diagnosed adhd/autistic, but I wasn’t then.) I masked HARD at new places. I hadn’t really talked a lot about my personal interests at that point. So, I say, “Oh, no, I am. I play WoW. MTG. DnD. I’m a Dungeon Master, I love anime, I cosplay… I’d LARP if I had the time!”

“What’s Larp?”

“Fair question!” I say. I ain’t about to gatekeep. “It stands for Live Action Role Play. It’s basically when people play Dungeons and Dragons, but they do so outside, in costume, and hit each other with padded swords, and throw beanbags at one another and shout “Lightening bolt!”

“Oh, you’re *not* allowed to do that!” She says, laughing.

“I dunno man. I got the wizards cloak and staff from an old cosplay. I could!”

“What’s a staff?”

At this point, I’m a little confused. Even if you’re not in the know, I figured a staff was pretty common knowledge. So I look at her, confused, “You know. A staff. Like what wizards have.” Again, this was 2012. Lord of the Rings was pretty popular then, and was having a resurgence as well, and most people at least knew it from cultural osmosis. So, I went, “like the whole Gandalf, ‘YOU SHALL NOT PASS’” thing.

“Oh. Oh I don’t watch Harry Potter.”

There was a moment of prolonged silence. Again, I can get maybe not knowing Gandalf. But Harry Potter? I mean, Fuck JKR now, but back then she was still ok! We didn’t know she was problematic then, and Harry Potter was fucking MASSIVE. More than it is now. The final movie had only come out the year before, and the names were household names at this point. (I think they still are.) So. I just stared at her. What I didn’t realize was that we had a couple of customers just outside. It was only now I saw them. They were staring at her like she had three heads .

“What?” She says innocently.

Quietly, I almost whisper. “…. Gandalf is from Lord of the rings.”

The couple outside burst out laughing.

[desmondkane-of-ao3-fame]

DOING AN ENTIRE CHARACTER ASK SHEET FOR SKARA AND WILLOW BECAUSE I CAN PART 1 (Questions 1-10)

1. Canon I outright reject

You know how in Sense and Insensitivity there’s that bit where Skara kisses the King cardboard cutout and runs away with it? That bit that made that one Sking shipper a thing? Yeah, so this is a really mean prank played by either the twins or Boscha using an illusion, and Skara only ever thought Rulers Reach was ok. My evidence for this is the fact that I will personally beat you to death if you imply my daughter did Titan-knows-what with a standee of an 8-year-old cat-dog-hybrid.

While I’m at it, let’s also make it clear that she was never living furniture for an adult man either. Again, that was a prank because N O.

(Can you guess why Sense is my third worst episode of the show?)

Literally the second half of Any Sport has Willow acting so OOC you’d swear it has to be a really bad fanfiction. She gets kidnapped by the same dude who spent the entire afternoon lying to her about who he was, threatened not one but two of her best friends in his last appearance, and works as the second-in-command of a fascist religious order she canonically rallied the Isles against, and she… blames herself for it. She has the opportunity to defend her friends against Darius and put up a real fight, and instead she does some of her weakest magic in the show so Hunter can swoop in and save her. And in the last 30 seconds of the episode she just casually tells shows off the pic of the Entrails with Hunter like it wouldn’t cause Amity to go into a PTSD-inspired rage. I literally rewrote the entirety of the episode in my head, but if I can’t reject the whole episode, I’m at least rejecting its second half.

(Can you guess why Any Sport is my top choice for worst episode of the show?)

2. A canon or headcanon hill I will die on

Skara is a chaotic bisexual gremlin and you can’t convince me otherwise. If chaotic bisexual gremlin energy could be used as a power source, Skara would be the only battery the world would ever need.

A slightly more serious Skara head cannon I have is that she left Boscha because Skara wanted to apologize to Willow, and Boscha not only refused to join her but outright mocked her for it, leading Skara to go do it herself. She never spoke to Boscha after that day unless she had to.

Willow has a lovely singing voice and sings to her plants when she waters them. It’s part of why Skara fell so hard for her. She hears it one while walking past the Plant Track room and thought to herself ‘Wow I really am a chaotic bisexual gremlin.’

3. Obscure headcanon

Skara is a great chef. She loves to cook and bakes for her friends all the time. I have no evidence for this other than the fact I think it sounds adorable.

Willow didn’t go to H.A.S. in the first season only because she would go straight home to work out most of the time. In reality she loved learning about humans, even if she had more of an understanding then Gus that most Witch information was probably a stretch.

4. Favorite line

“Good game Willow.”-Skara, in her one positive interaction with Willow in Wing it.

“I’m a sneaky sneakster.”-Willow’s most adorable line, from Hooty’s Moving Hassle.

“Not if I don’t look down.”-Willow, casually dropping the funniest line in the entire first season during Escape of the Palismen.

5. Best personality trait

For Skara it’s her ability to accept responsibility and grow from her mistakes. It’s a difficult thing to do, to admit you were wrong for so long. It’s not something that came naturally to her either: she had to work hard at it, and it was a painful process. But Skara did, and now she’s a teacher cause she wants to help other kids avoid her mistakes while learning the same lessons.

For Willow, it’s her kindness and unwavering defense of her friends. She’s always looking out for everyone, always doing whatever it takes to make sure they’re safe and cared about and know that. It’s a trait she always had, but it grew over time as she matured into a true blue protector.

6. Worst personality trait

For Skara, it’s her guilt. Her self reflection has sadly burdened her with a deep sense of shame for her bullying, and while she never bullied anyone after she leaves Boscha, she still hates herself sometimes for how she used to be, something that causes her to become more reserved and isolated. Willow can tell when she gets like this though, and always tries to remind her that her past is in the past, and she’s moved on to become a better person.

For Willow, it’s her inability to regulate her own needs. She gets better at it with time, but even after Future she still can’t always take time to just think of her own feelings. She’ll push herself till breaking point until one of her friends reminds her it’s ok to care about herself for a bit.

7. Age/height/weight headcanon

Sometimes I see a bunch of Willow art I wonder if it’s a headcannon that she was ever chubbier than Amity or Luz, given how often people seem to make her just as skinny…

Skara is the taller of the two, even if most of that extra height is her hair, something she’ll playfully tease Willow about from time to time. Thankfully Willow has the advantage of being less of a full blown simp, so she can easily pull Skara down to her height for a kiss.

8. Unpopular opinion about them

Skara was never as big a bully as Boscha. She was A bully, and I don’t want to deny that, but I think it’s canonically wrong when people make her to be as bad as Boscha. It was clear throughout that she could tell when Boscha was going too far, and there’s a few moments where she seems even scared of Boscha, like when they run into her during the King segment in Swap or when Boscha’s about to burn Luz alive in Wing It.Most likely, Amity bullied Willow because she felt she had to, and Boscha bullied her because Amity did, and later because she felt Willow stole Amity from her, while Skara, Cat, and Amelia probably just stuck to the sidelines because they wanted to be accepted by the others. Again, it isn’t cool, and I know that Skara feels like garbage for how she acted to this day, but please don’t act like Skara was as big a bully as Boscha.

Everyone used to act like Gus was the character who deserved more respect from the show, deserved more story’s, but really, it was Willow who got shafted in the end. Gus has 3 unquestioned spotlight episodes (Something Ventured, Looking Glass, and Labyrinth Runners), he drives two subplots (Understanding Willow and Grom), and eventually even steals Willow’s bits, like her glowing eyes (I know Dana said it’s a thing all Witches can do under intense emotion but that’s a retcon and we all know it). In contrast, Willow seems like she has more, but she honestly kinda doesn’t. Sure, there’s Teenage Abomination and Hooty’s Moving Hassle which are good and perfectly Willow centric, but then things get a lot fuzzier. Understanding Willow would be better named Understanding Willow’s Relationship with Amity Primarily through Amity’s Lens, Wing It is solid but mostly used to drive Lumity, her only real moments in season 2A were getting Clover in Hunting Palisman and having all her bones broken in Looking Glass, Any Sport PRETENDS to be about Willow, but in the end is more about Hunter then any other of his team up episodes, to the point the second half spends most of its time making Willow weak and self loathing JUST SO HUNTER COULD LOOK LIKE A HERO, her subplot in Labyrinth feels a lot worse when you remember that Any Sport actually proves that Amity was completely right to think Willow couldn’t fight the Emperors Coven (also Willow shows more anger towards Amity here then she ever did to Hunter which is cool, totally fine, not aneurism causing at all), and honestly, as nice as it was to see Willow have a bit of an emotional arc in Future, it was more a way to get Hunter a girlfriend then anything (also the fact it’s pretty much a complete ripoff of Luz’s own arc in Reaching Out). In less words and as less of a ramble, Willow may technically have more stuff then Gus, but honestly, Gus stories are actually about Gus, while Willow stories are almost exclusively used for other people’s development, whether it be Amity’s, Lumity, or *sigh* Hunter’s. And I wanted her to be more than that.

Also, Willow can be angry. Like, really, genuinely, righteously angry. She’s a someone who spent her whole childhood being bullied by her former bestie and unironically was willing to BURN HER MEMORIES AND THOUGHTS ALIVE TO DESTROY SAID FORMER BESTIE (technically that was Inner Willow but still). It seems like people kinda just forget that though. Hell, the show seems to, what with stuff like her, like I said, getting more mad at Amity in Labyrinth then Hunter in Any Sport.

(Also Skarlow is better than Huntlow but you can read my blog to see that so.)

9. Scene that first made me love (or hate) the character

For Skara, it was probably her at Grom. It’s such a hilarious bit, her going from a swooning teenage girl on a date to Magic Prom to her just getting so damn into the fight. That tux looks expensive and she rips it off of her like it’s nothing in a fit of bloodlust. And there’s just something so endearing about her Grom photos too. I love (most) of her earlier stuff too of course but Grom to me is the peak of Skara.

For Willow, I don’t know the exact moment, but it was probably somewhere early on, almost certainly around seeing her go from green eyed at Amity’s bullying to apologizing and rushing to help Luz from her plants. I love characters who are both adorable and badass and I think that’s what Willow, at her best, is.

10. Best moment on screen (or in the book)

Skara’s best moment would been her redemption arc if she had one, but otherwise I’d say, again, it’s Grom. Just, *chefs kiss* The best.

Willow has a lot of actually good moments, and I originally answered this question a while ago with her during Understanding, but thinking more on it, I think the best moment for Willow is really her and Amity in Follies. It’s an incredibly minor moment, something you’d be forgiven for forgetting happens if you haven’t seen it in a while, but looking back it’s all of Willow’s best traits in one scene: Her ability to go from intimidating to adorable in a matter of seconds, her emotional maturity in helping Amity with her problems (even if that bits offscreen for shock purposes), actually confirming she works out in the show instead of just saying it in an AMA, her complicated feelings about Amity… there’s like, so much in this one scene that embodies why Willow Park is amazing and deserves all the love.

This… took longer to write then I thought and was a lot more rambly then I expected. Still, hope you enjoyed, and I’ll try to do the next 10 questions sometime soon.

[sandbees]

Okay I was thinking about how the other charathers that Arent the great Seven would react to the NRC students in the house of mouse AU. Like i can Imagine Azul asking Ariel if She wants ti make a deal with him and Ariel Is like "lol no", or the First year see Cruella de vil at One of the tables and they are like "She look so much like Crewel that She's giving us PTSD" or kalim and Aladdin becoming buddies :D.

Well, let me put in some headcannons then:

Word goes around that some of the Great Disney villains come to visit Yuu and everyone gets jealous.

So now whenever Yuu goes to work they always get asked to have them visit their world.

So, Yuu just says, “Meh ok, you guys can visit me whenever just ask one of the Great Seven or go through the mirror in my dressing room-“

And suddenly Yuu gets someone they met from the House of Mouse ever other day. It’s literal chaos and Yuu doesn’t know if they should feel exasperated or flattered.

Anyways, here’s some interactions between the dorms and some Disney Characters:

Heartslybul: Obviously when Alice comes to visit, she comments on how Heartslybul reminds her of the Queen of Hearts’ garden. When Yuu mentions that they paint the roses red, Alice sarcastically asks, “Does the dorm leader behead people who don’t paint the roses?” “...Well, he’s more lenient now but...” “...You’re serious?”

Ace and Alice get along swimmingly, basically quick quips and a lot of teasing. Yuu regrets introducing them to each other because they know the two are going to get into some sort of trouble. Deuce also gets along with Alice, though he can get lost in Alice’s rambles in imagination.

I think Alice would get along with Trey and Cater. I mean, they both give big brother vibes (Trey more than Cater). Trey would give Alice some tarts and Alice is like, “....He’s cool.”

Cater is going to take a bunch of pictures, and Alice is very curious about the device he’s holding (I don’t think phones or the internet existed during Alice’s time so...). Cater ends up teaching Alice about the internet and phones.

Riddle...ohhh noo. Once Alice broke one of the 810 rules and Riddle lightly scolded her for it. Alice thinks most of the rules are ridiculous and while Riddle has toned down on being strict, he’ll quickly get annoyed with Alice questioning the rules. There’s rules for a reason! The dorm was founded on these rules!!

Savannaclaw: It’s Simba, obviously. He’s curious to see the dorm after his...nefarious uncle. It’s much more nicer than he expected, though he’s a little off put by the dorm’s...rowdiness.

But he’s impressed with the Magishift practices they have when Yuu showed them.

He likes Jack, right off the bat. Jack has this sense of justice that he can relate to. I think they would get along pretty well. Oh, and probably how strong and buff Jack is.

Simba is wary of Ruggie, due to him being a hyena beastmen. He has...bad memories of hyenas. His wariness is correct, since Ruggie has tried to swindle Simba and Yuu to do some of his work. Does the relationship get better? Only if Yuu makes them hang out with each other haha.

Leona reminds Simba of Scar...to a certain degree. Lazy, cunning, and has this look where it seems like he could be planning something nefarious...

Ok, maybe not that bad, but Simba is weary of Leona. He kind of expected a character similar to Scar since this is the dorm based on him but...still. It’s really odd. It’s kind of rocky, but if Cheka comes over to visit, well...it could get better.

I mean, Leona does find Cheka annoying and calls him a brat but...Simba can tell there’s no malicious desire towards Cheka, which raises Leona’s “evil people don’t interact” list. That doesn’t mean Leona’s in the clear, but he’s ok.

Octavinelle: Surprise, surprise, it’s Ariel! She comes over, human legs and all. (Don’t worry! She got them from the nicer sorcerers). She wanted to visit Yuu and see how great NRC was! They had fun, and then they went to Mostro Lounge.

Ariel is terrified of the Tweels. They give her this...off putting feeling and they’re very intimidating. She does not trust them at all. She does like how they get up close and how they speak as if she’s some poor soul waiting to be taken advantage over.

That’s also why she does not trust Azul at all. He reminds Ariel of Ursula - especially when he tries making a contract with her. Uh-uh, no way. Never again.

This leads to Ariel dubbing NRC a dangerous place for Yuu to stay at. Why doesn’t Yuu come live with her and her family back at her world? Surely it’s much more safer than here! Why, Melody already sees Yuu as a big sibling so why not just stay at the castle permanently?

Ursula fumes at the thought of her enemy trying to take Yuu away and become their parent. That’s her role, dammit!

Scarabia: Kalim invites Aladdin, actually. It’s the most funniest scenario. Yuu mentioned to Kalim about the street rat that wooed the princess and Kalim says, “:00 WE SHOULD INVITE HIM!!” Jamil sighs and facepalms.

It’s actually going great! Aladdin is kind of shocked at the big party that Kalim threw, but it was a great welcome. He’s shook that Kalim apparently trusted Aladdin enough to show him the treasury room. “It’s open for all of the dorm to use! I don’t need much of it!”

Wasn’t NRC rumored to be a villain’s school??? What is this ball of sunshine doing here???

Actually, the Scarabia duo are good in his eyes. Sure, a little rough around the edges with Kalim being a bit too naive and Jamil being more of a watching snake, but they’re better than what he expected. Aladdin gets along with them pretty well!

And then they go on a carpet ride when Kalim introduces Aladdin to his magic flying carpet.

Yuu and Jamil scream at the two of them to get down as they fly across the night sky.

Pomfiore: oh no. Oh no no no. Snow White visiting Pomfiore is like...Neige visiting.

Vil is cold to Snow White, and she knows why. She’s seen the images that Yuu had of this “Neige Leblanc”. He certainly reminds her of her younger days. Which is why she completely understands why Vil is so standoffish of her.

What she doesn’t expect is Rook singing her praises and also kind of...watching her. It’s low key creepy but Yuu says it’s normal and since he doesn’t mean any harm Snow White lets it slide. They do have a good conversation though. Snow White learns to understand Rook’s...eccentric hobbies.

Epel and Snow White go together like apples and oranges. They go pretty well together, but they have contrasting differences. They could be passed of as siblings with their cute looks, as much as Epel hates to admit it. Though I’d like to think they have this “Soft big sister with a gremlin of a little brother” dynamic. Or “Big sister that is harmless but has a badass little bother” dynamic. Just...a cool sibling dynamic, basically.

Ignihyde: Hercules comes by when he hears that a dorm was based off of Hades. He had to see what it was like. He expected the doom and gloom, but he didn’t expect all the technology.

He and Ortho go along swimmingly. I mean, he’s pretty chill around the more upbeat and cheery dorm member, at least. (Seriously, the others were such buzzkills). He also gets a good impression on Idia when Ortho affectionately talks about his big brother! Wow, so the kids here do have a heart! Unlike Hades-

Ok, so as much as Ortho talks so highly of Idia, Hercules does not see how Ortho does. I mean, Idia is a complete shut in and gloomy recluse! Why do you stick around him?! It isn’t until he speaks his mind about that comment does Ortho turn into a crazy murder machine. (“How DARE you speak of that about my brother!!”) Yuu has to save Hercules and the entire dorm before Ortho blows up the school.

So now Hercules sees how inseparable the two are and how much they care for each other, which yeah, that’s pretty cool. (Is also low key jealous, how come his half brothers weren’t like that?)

Diasomnia: Aurora visits with Maleficent. Both do not share ill will after their stories are completed. They actually do make amends. So Maleficent invited Aurora to see her grandson, and Aurora politely accepts.

They have tea with Malleus, and it is a very pleasant conversation. Aurora gets along well with Malleus, even suggesting maybe she should invite him and Maleficent to her kingdom one day. (Maybe when she gives birth to a beautiful baby. Maleficent liked that)

Lilia is also a fun one to be around! Aurora was so surprised by his scare that she had laughed. Ah, what a funny fae! Why, she hadn’t laughed this hard since...well, never. She likes Lilia and will come by if she needs a good laugh.

Poor Sebek though....he acts all uptight around Aurora because she’s a Queen and also aquatinted with Maleficent...he must be respectful to her at all costs! It takes a long time for Sebek to at least act a little casual around her. Maleficent says it’ll take some time, though Aurora isn’t sure if that time will come on her lifetime...but for the meantime, she is still happy to be around Sebek’s presence and have pleasant conversations with him.

Aurora and Silver...ok, let me say this: they got along during a sleepover. The Diasomnia gang + Maleficent and Aurora had a sleepover in the dorms to “better know each other”. I also think Aurora would feel sympathy for Silver if the conversation of him tending to fall asleep came up. Heavens knows she still has her sleepy spells even after her curse was broken.

Also- wofhenod I just imagine Aurora and Silver walking in the forest together and a bunch of animals surround them. (Yuu finds them and cries when they actually attracted a bunch of adorable puppies (or whatever animal you find cute). Cute, adorable animals that are so gentle with them that they start to cry due to stress from being at NRC (Silver and Aurora look at Yuu with concern and gently start comforting them)

Winfendien Suddenly I want a twin dynamic with Silver and Aurora. Even a sibling dynamic would be cool. Just two sleepy siblings that won’t hesitate to kick your ass.

[mayans-sauce]

Positively Happy

@pantherclawz

Pairing: Coco Cruz x Female Reader

Word Count: 1.6K

Warnings: cursing

Request from anon Hi, if requests are open, I was wondering if I could request a Coco imagine? Where him and the reader had been trying to get pregnant but the reader deals with PCOS, which can make it extremely hard, and the last test she took said negative but she's had symptoms and then gets another test and it says positive? And she surprises Coco and they go to her 1st appt. And they see their baby?

A/N: sorry this is so late! But I hope I did well for this request and that you enjoy it!

You can read about what PCOS is HERE and HERE

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•• Main Masterlist •• Coco Masterlist ••

Coco had explicitly said for years that he didn’t want another kid, not after fucking it up so much with his previous ones. He was glad that he had Letty in his life now and had started to form a relationship with her. A year or two after having Letty in his life, he got to know you, the love of his life, and he felt blessed and happy that he had his two favorite women with him. That was all he needed, and frankly, so did you.

You had both agreed that having your own kids wasn’t a priority in your life, at least not now, or maybe it never would be, but you still had it open for discussion in case something changed in the future.

And for Coco, it did change. It changed the day your sisters dropped off your niece at your house for a few days because she was going overseas for a week for her job. His eyes opened up for a new possibility for joy and laughter in his life watching you interact with the toddler.

Playing, taking care of her, loving her. He wanted that, he wanted that so bad, he loved your niece, and she loved to be with Coco as well, but he was scared to bring it up to you in case you had changed your mind completely, but eventually, he did, and you were more than happy that he wanted to have kids with you.

He told you he was scared. Scared that he would fuck it up as he did with his two others and Letty. He didn’t believe that he could be a good father, but you and Letty convinced him otherwise, especially Letty. She had told him, even though he hadn’t been by her side most of her life, that she loved him with all her heart and that he was the best dad ever to her.

He then knew that he could do it, be a good and caring father with you and Letty by his side.

The baby-making part wasn’t the hard part of getting pregnant because you and Coco were experts; it was the getting pregnant part that didn’t work. You tried for a long time before you went to a doctor. They diagnosed you with PCOS, which along with a few other problems, also makes it harder to get pregnant, but it was still possible. So the doctor suggested that you try more before you could look into other methods of getting pregnant.

Each test you took came out negative, again and again, and each time your hopelessness increased.

“What does it say?” Coco asked as you both waited in the bathroom for the pregnancy test to get ready. You picked it up and hoped that it would finally say positive. But your face dropped when you looked at the results, and Coco knew what that meant. “Nothin?” “Nothing.”

He let out a long sigh, his heart sinking in his chest. He wrapped his arms around you and yours around him, just holding onto one another and giving each other comfort. “We can try again.”

After a few weeks of trying some more, you and Coco had given up on trying the natural way, so you scheduled an appointment with the doctor to work out some other methods. The appointment was some time away, so the weeks leading up to it, you and Coco hadn’t in your thoughts to make a baby while having sex; you just focused much more on each other than you ever had.

A few days before the appointment, you started to feel a little different. Your period was late since it had always been so irregular, so you didn’t think much of it, but you also woke up feeling very ill. So later in the day, you went to buy a pregnancy test just in case. Coco wasn’t home, so you asked Letty if she could join.

Letty loved you like you were her mother. You were best friends and always was there for one another. “Do you think you're pregnant?” “I… don’t know. I don’t think so, but I just feel different than the other times, so I figured just checking wouldn’t hurt.”

When the timer on your phone went off, you lifted the stick straight to your face to look at it, not thinking so much of it because you were expecting it to be negative as always. To your surprise, it said positive, and your heart started racing. “What?” You said in the tiniest whisper, your eyes glossy with tears that began to form in them.

“Y/N, what is it?” Letty came to stand by your side. “It’s… it’s positive.” “Are you sure?” You gave her the pregnancy test so she could check for herself. “I don’t have an extra to check it, but… it’s never said positive before. This is the first time.” Now Letty was crying and overjoyed with excitement. She hugged you long and hard, and you did as well. Emotions were running all over. “I’m gonna be a big sister.” “You're gonna be a big sister Leticia.”

“I need to call him.” You couldn’t wait for him to come home; you needed him to know right away. His phone went to voicemail, which means he was in Templo because he always answered his phone no matter what except when he was in there. So you sent him a message and a picture.

📲To: My Coco❤️

Let’s hope this means that baby Coco is on the way❤️ I’m so happy❤️

Letty and you moved over to the living room to wait for Coco’s response. Even though it wasn’t 100% sure that you even were pregnant, you started talking and planning for the baby already. What gender you wanted it to be. Letty wanted it to be a girl while you wanted a little Coco running around, but regardless of what, you would all love the baby no matter what. The future for the baby and all the adventures you all would go on.

Fifteen minutes later, the phone rang with Coco’s face lighting up the screen, and you picked up in a second. “Is-is it real,” his voice was shaky as he spoke; you could hear that he was on the verge of tears. “Yes, Johnny, it's real… it’s so real.” He told you he was on his way home to you. He didn’t care about the club or anything other than you right now.

When he arrived, he wouldn’t let go of you, holding onto you as his life depended on it. Letty joined in the cuddling and love. After some time, he got down on his knees so that his head was at level with your belly. His hand softly caressed it as he talked in a gentle voice, “I hope you are in there, little one. I love you so fucking much.” Only the appointment in a few days could tell, so you didn’t entirely hold onto the hope that you were pregnant, but you all wanted it to be real, so you acted that it was.

A few days later, at the doctor's appointment, you, Letty, and Coco all held your breath as they searched for a glimpse that you were pregnant. Coco held your hand tightly as he watched the screen, his leg bouncing up and down in anticipation. Letty held tightly onto her father, just as nervous and anxious as him. To your luck, they found evidence that you were indeed pregnant, and all of you were overjoyed at the news.

Letty squealed in happiness as Coco started lightly crying at the discovery of his entire world changing for the better, but the doctor told you that it might be too soon to celebrate. Because of your PCOS, there was a bigger chance for you to have a miscarriage or other complications with the pregnancy. So you would need to be closely monitored and taken care of.

Coco vowed from that day that you wouldn’t do any hard work around the house or anywhere else. He, Letty, and the rest of the guys would do everything for you. All you needed to do was sit your pretty ass down and relax as they all treated you like a queen.

A few weeks had passed, you and Coco were on the way to the doctor again for another appointment. This time hoping to know the sex of the baby. Coco was driving with one hand on the steering wheel and his other hand playing with your fingers, which always calmed him down. The window was down as the warm wind of Santo Padre seeped into the car.

“I hope it’s a girl,” he admitted. He had told you since the pregnancy was confirmed that his dream was to have a baby girl. A sweet and beautiful little creature that looked exactly like you that he would protect with his whole heart and kill anyone that dared to harm her.

“I hope it’s a boy.” You could see in your dream a little miniature Coco. Him and his father running around in the yard playing together as they laughed in the grass like it was the funniest thing ever. The two being messy boys and getting into trouble all the time and hiding it from mommy.

But you knew no matter what you found out today at the doctors that the little miracle in your belly would be loved unconditionally by everyone in your lives no matter what.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Let me know what you think❤️

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[stardusttkachuk]

Santa’s Workshop

Pairing: JJ x Reader

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: fluff, swearing,

Summary: JJ picks up a holiday job, working as one of Santa’s elves. He doesn’t expect to meet another elf there, but isn’t disappointed in who he’ll be working with all season.

A/N: This is day 1 of starduststarkey’s 12 days of Christmas. Find other fics in my masterlist

Wanna be tagged? click here!

“You look fucking ridiculous,” John B says as JJ stands in front of the broken full length mirror that JB picked up from a junkyard.

“At least I have a job, asshat.” He fixes his hat on his head, grimacing at the way the tights hug his body. He’s uncomfortable in every place imaginable and is already dreading the 5 hour shift.

“Maybe if you’re a good elf, Santa will bring you a girlfriend this year!” Pope teases.

“You better shut the fuck up before this elf beats you to a pulp,” JJ threatens, fists raised.

Pope laughs. “I don’t think elves are supposed to be getting in fist fights.”

JJ huffs and rolls his eyes. Pope is right. He can’t show up to this job covered in bruises, that would scare the kids even more than he probably already will.

“Will you please drive me?” He asks John B. 

“Maybe you should ask Santa for a car,” John B says, grabbing the keys to the Twinkie.

“Why do you think I even took this job in the first place? Please. I don’t want to be seen in public like this.”

You set your bag in the provided cubby, checking your phone one last time before your scheduled session. When you had signed up to be one of Santa’s elves at the local mall, you were ecstatic. You and your best friend had been doing this for the last two years. But this year, your best friend ditched you for the hot chocolate stand. Really she ditched you for the cute girl who worked at the hot chocolate stand, and now you were stuck working with some kid named JJ Maybank. You crossed your fingers in hopes that he wasn’t some loser like the guy they hired last season.

“Santa arrives in 10 minutes! You better be out there in 5!” Natasha, the showrunner of Santa’s Workshop yells through the improvised locker and changing room. “Where’s your other elf?”

You shrug. “I don’t know. He hasn’t shown up yet.”

“Well when he gets here tell him he’s a dead man if he isn’t here 15 minutes prior to his shift.” She storms out, clipboard in hand. 

The first day is always one of the craziest. Things don’t settle down until a few weeks in. And by the time they do settle down, it’s already the week before Christmas and they get crazy again. 

“Hi. I’m JJ Maybank. I think this is where I’m supposed to be?” You hear someone say, likely talking to the nutcracker that’s posted outside the green room.

“In there. Find Y/N. You’ll know it’s her because she’ll be dressed just like you.”

You roll your eyes. At least he showed up. Ten minutes late but he did make it.

He passes through the curtains, blonde hair a mess under his elf hat. You’ll have to remind him to brush it before he arrives. You have an extra brush in your bag, but you know you won’t have time to make it look perfect.

He spies you easily, strutting towards you. “I’m JJ. Are you Y/N?” 

“That’s me. You’re late, by the way.”

JJ looks at his watch, eyes wide and mouth agape. “I’m five minutes early! That’s the earliest I’ve been for any job!”

“Natasha’s rules state all workshop employees must be present 15 minutes prior to their shift.”

JJ rolls his eyes. “It’s only ten minutes.”

“And if it happens again, you’re a dead man. So you better be here 15 minutes early next time.”

“Okay but why 15? Aren’t we just sitting around those 15 minutes until our shift starts?”

“It’s for costume malfunctions. Like your hair. It needs to be brushed. If you had been here 10 minutes earlier, maybe we would’ve had time to brush it and make it look better.”

“My hair looks fine,” JJ grumbles, though he does attempt to smooth down the ends with his hands. 

You lead him over to the cubby next to yours, gesturing to it. “Put your stuff in here. And that includes your phone.”

JJ places both his phone and wallet into the cubby. He then takes his jacket off and puts it on top of the two valuable items.

“No one is going to steal your stuff, if you’re worried about that. This place is heavily monitored,” you say. “And no one but Santa’s crew is allowed back here anyway.”

JJ is about to speak when an elderly woman with white hair tucked under her hat enters the room. “Looks like Mrs. Claus has arrived,” he jokes.

“That’s Natasha.” You grab JJ’s hand, pulling him out to Santa’s corner before Natasha has a chance to yell at him for his tardiness.

“So what exactly do we do?” JJ whispers, eyeing the line of children and their parents that seems to wrap around the entire display.

“We help the kids from their parents to Santa’s lap and then back out to their parents again. And don’t forget the candy cane before they leave.”

JJ grimaces. “You mean we have to interact with the kids?”

“Yes. Now smile and act like an elf,” you say.

“How do- ohf!” JJ grunts as you elbow him and immediately reach forward for the hand of a little girl.

“Hi! I’m elf Y/N! And this is my friend elf JJ! What’s your name?” You ask in a high pitched voice. 

“I’m Sophie,” she beams. She grasps onto JJ’s hand and you have to bite your lip to keep from laughing at the face he makes. It’s clear he isn’t a fan of kids and you can’t wait to watch him interact with them for the next 30 days.

JJ pulls his booties on over the tights, chuckling to himself as the bells jingle. They jingle every time he walks. He’s grown so used to the sound now though. He’s grown used to looking absolutely ridiculous in his costume. He’s even grown used to the kids, which he thought was impossible.

But the way Y/N smiles when he coos at a baby or holds onto a preschoolers hand has helped him get over his dislike of the kids. He’d do just about anything to see her smile.

“Ready?” John B asks from the doorway, keys looped around his finger.

“Actually a friend is picking me up,” JJ says, grabbing his phone and wallet.

“What friend? You don’t have any friends besides us.”

“Well that’s very rude of you to think. I have plenty of friends. And her name is Y/N. We work together.”

“Work together or sleep together? Or both. Do you guys like, get it on in the costumes?”

“Ew, no,” JJ scoffs.

“Okay, you know elves is somebody's kink,” John B adds, shuddering as he does.

“I didn’t want to know that. I don’t want to think about that.”

“Okay but Y/N… you like her.”

“No. We’re just friends. We’re coworkers. We work the same shift and she offered to give me a ride, okay? Now can you make yourself disappear before she gets here? I don’t want her seeing your face.”

John B pouts. “Why not? I have a very likable face.”

“Just… please?” JJ asks, but it’s too late. 

The beat up Ford truck pulls up in front of the house. JJ knows it’s hers. On days when they work late and it’s dark outside by the time they leave, he walks her to her car. They once spent two extra hours after work sitting in her car and talking. She even gave him a ride home once, but he made her drop him off down the street. It was too risky for her to pull up to his actual house, especially if his dad was home. 

JJ knows John B is in the doorway when he exits the house. He watches as Y/N waves, a courteous smile on her face. JJ walks to the passenger side, hearing the familiar squeak of the old door.

“Who’s that?”

“John B. He’s my best friend.”

“He’s dating Sarah Cameron right?” she asks.

“Yeah. You know Sarah?”

“Everyone on this island knows Sarah,” Y/N laughs. JJ knows she’s not wrong. Everyone did know the Cameron's, especially after the huge scandal that went down last summer. People don’t typically forget about a murder and stealing of millions of dollars worth in gold.

“Right,” JJ laughs nervously. 

You tear your elf hat off as soon as you reach your truck. Today was a hard shift. Multiple crying kids, lines that wrapped all around the mall, parents who didn’t understand the concept of patience and waiting, and then there was the kid that peed on Santa Claus and made everyone wait even longer while Santa went to change. It was a nightmare. 

If it wasn’t for JJ, today would’ve been the day you quit.

But he insisted on stopping for dinner before you dropped him off, so here you were, sitting at a booth across from him, the both of you still clad in your elf costumes.

You probably looked ridiculous but you didn’t care. JJ was your sole focus tonight. He let you vent to him about the craziness of the day and when you weren’t talking he was telling you about the funniest wishes he had overheard while on candy cane duty. 

“All their missing socks?” You laugh, hand covering your mouth.

JJ nods, laughing harder. “He-He couldn’t understand why the dryer monster needed his socks more than him. He even asked if-if monsters were on the naughty list!” JJ bursts out laughing, as do you. If there was one thing that could cheer you up, it was this.

“Kids got a point,” you giggle. “Why does the dryer monster only take one sock and not both? Do you think he only has one leg?”

JJ nods, his smile wide. “Yeah, instead of one eye he’s got one leg.”

Your laughs die down slowly, but you can’t wipe the smile off your face. The smile that was forced all throughout the day was now a real one.

“I’ve missed that smile,” JJ says, reaching his hand across the table.

You blush but take his hand without hesitation, lacing your fingers through his.

JJ nervously clears his throat. “Do you think when this is all over, I can take you on an actual date?”

You’re not sure your smile could get any wider. “I’d like that.”

You both stare at each other for a while longer, before JJ can’t wait anymore. “I’m going to kiss you now,” he says, leaning over the table.

“I’d like that too,” you respond, meeting him halfway.

Tags: @kaelyn-lobrutto24 @serpentbaby @etoilesnoor @k-k0129 @maybanksbaby @talksoprettyjjx @canibeoneofthepogues @multifixx  @theonetheonlyalexbrown @glux64 @shy-1234 @sleepyhollands @cognacdelights @ilovejjmaybank @blueeyedbesson @cheshirecat107 @myrandom-fandomlife @makebank @ifilwtmfc @obxmxybxnk  @kookkyra��@rafej-cambanks @blindedbypeaky @ahiae @repostcentral @midnightzonzz @blxndeprincess @dracosbbygorl @itsagurl @Poguesinablanket @amandaburris @tovvaa @sunnsettee

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

No, It's Definitely Funny

Prompt: Can I request a second part to "Let's Call It Funny" where Bucky, Sam, Steve, and Peter unite forces to confuse and concern all the other avengers (with at least one instance where two or all of them respond to something by pretending to jump off a building?) Love you! -Auggie

Does it count as being back on my bullshit if I never left?

Read on Ao3 Part 1

Warnings: none, unless you need a warning for gen z humor

Pairings: it's still found family hours

Word Count: 2259

Peter’s gonna be honest, he may or may not have some competition for the funniest person in the Tower right now.

Because let’s look at the list here:

Traumatized? Everybody and their private jet’s worth of vintage and designer baggage needs therapy.

Queer? If you think Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, or Sam Wilson is straight, you need to tell them everything they’ve ever done to make you think they’re straight so they can stop doing it immediately.

Superhero? Yeah, okay, shush, now you’re being stupid.

Neurodivergent? Have you seen the way these men behave? Definitely the model of Perfectly Normal Person™, what on earth are you talking about, absolutely 100% Normal™.

The only things he’s still got going for him that the others don’t are high-schooler and trans. That’s not a lot when it comes to the fact that hey, two of them are from the Great Depression—let’s be honest, they’re the OGs when it comes to fatalistic humor—and they’ve all got years of practice.

Sure, Peter’s got some trauma-given raw talent, but it’s not refined by years and years of throwing yourself off of buildings and out of planes to avoid having conversations about your emotions.

The day Aunt Nat dropped all of SHIELD’s files on the Internet and Peter found out that Steve yeeted himself out of a plane—without a parachute!—to avoid Nat’s prodding about getting a date was the best day of his fucking life.

“Don’t you go stealing my moves there, kid,” Steve had scolded playfully, winking over the rim of his mug.

“Try and stop me, I dare you.”

“And this is why,” Tony had sighed, looking every bit his 79 years—“Hey!”—as he watches this interaction go down, “you have a parachute built into your suit.”

“I’ll just wear my old one, don’t worry about it.”

“That heinous thing that’s just a cut-up old hoodie and goggles? Peter, no, that thing is being held together with safety pins and hope!”

“I mean, me too, so it’s fine.”

“Peter!”

“Also, like, it’s the one I almost got crushed to death in, so it’s got the emotional trauma seasoning already.”

“Wait—“ Bucky had sat up— “you almost got crushed to death by a building? Sheesh, kid, you’re really flirting with the reaper, huh.”

“It wasn’t so bad, I had training from the years and years of carrying the weight of my sins crawling on my back.”

“At least ask Death for his number next time, he’s not returning my calls.”

“Sergeant, I swear to God—“

“Actually, Death uses they/them pronouns, I asked when I met them last weekend.”

“What the fuck did you do last weekend?”

“Really? Oh cool, well, can you get their number for me? We had a date back in ’45 that they missed.”

“Yeah, sure, no problem.”

“Tony, why are you screaming? Not keeping dates is a very serious matter.”

“Trust me, I speak from experience, Tony, it’s not a good habit to get into.”

“You should respect your elders and not scream while we’re talking to you, mister.”

“All of you shut the fuck up.”

See? On one hand, it’s great to have more partners in this venture of making Tony’s hair turn grey—he’s that age, it’s bound to happen any time soon now— “One more crack about my age, kid, I swear.” — but on the other hand, Peter is seriously losing his massive lead on funniest person in the Tower.

The other thing he’s worried about is Sam’s ability to make it so the others can’t actually worry about him.

Because—listen, Sam Wilson is a fucking national treasure and all you fuckers better acknowledge that. It’s no secret that the Captains take turns going out with the shield, all of them answer to ‘Captain America’ because that’s what they are, but no one—and Peter will never say this under threat of death because he does not need any more of the Steve Rogers’ Puppy Dog Eyes™, thank you very much—no one does it better than Sam.

And that means that Sam fucking Wilson can turn a fatalistic, self-deprecating joke into a motivational speech that doesn’t feel disingenuous or cliché at all and everyone is too busy processing the philosophical revelations they’re having to scold him for his, frankly, outstanding sense of humor.

It’s not fair and Peter can’t do it.

He tried. Once.

Didn’t go very well.

No, he’s not gonna talk about it, let’s just move on.

Sam has offered to catch him a couple of times when he gets himself a little too deep into the Mamma Spider™ or Iron Dad™ trap of feeeelings, and he gratefully scoots out of the way when Sam sits down next to him and just makes another joke.

Sam is also a fantastic role model for the brand of ‘I’m going to the store and only have twenty bucks, stop asking for your will to live back’ jokes.

“Hey, Pete!”

“Yeah?”

“Let’s go, bodega run.”

“Can we pick up some hopes and dreams, too, all of those got scribbled out in fat red Sharpie yesterday.”

“I said bodega run, not Court of Miracles run.”

“But Sam~”

“Listen, kid, if you manage to find your hopes and dreams in this bodega, keep an eye out for your childhood innocence, that might be on the next shelf over.”

“Deal.”

“Do you two need some more therapy appointments?”

“Only got fifteen bucks, man.”

“I’m literally a billionaire!”

Peter eagerly studies under this pinnacle of humor and keeps his worries to himself.

Because if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, and Peter’s sense of humor is wonderful, but he is a tad intimidated by the amount of variety the others have got going for them.

“You’re a fucking terror, Spider-ling, that’s what you are.”

“Not true! I was ‘a pleasure to have in class.’”

“Oh, is that why you’re taking ‘Little Shit’ lessons from Barnes and Rogers?”

“And Sam! Don’t forget Captain Wilson, he is an invaluable part of this team. I’m surprised at your ignorance.”

“Pete—no, that’s not—“

“I’m ashamed for you, Mr. Stark.”

“Listen here you little shit—“

Anyway…

Steve and Bucky have a habit of telling these like, really awful jokes that have Peter in stitches for half an hour. It’s not fair and he doesn’t get why they’re so funny because they aren’t, and yet here he is, laughing anyway.

It’s probably some combination of Steve’s perfected innocent face that he wears when he has to do interviews and Bucky’s habit of not giving a single solitary fuck. But they’re able to make the worst jokes with completely serious expressions and it’s not fair.

“Hey, can you guys come help me with something?”

“Sure, Peter,” Steve says instantly, bounding over with his 95-year-old Golden Retriever energy as Bucky trails behind him like a cat that’s sitting in your lap because he wants to, not because he likes you or anything, “what’s up?”

“I have a history project on WWII due tomorrow and I haven’t started it yet.”

Bucky snorts, taking a swig of coffee and sitting down on the floor. Which, same. “You got your eulogy planned?”

“Drafted, sighed, notarized, but Aunt May said no so I gotta do this.”

“Well, if Aunt May says no then I guess that’s that.”

Tony, from far away in another part of the Tower, has a sickening feeling that May Parker has once again proven that she is the most powerful parent and there’s nothing he can do about it.

“I, um,” Peter mumbles, fidgeting with his pen, “I want to be respectful of your boundaries, and if you don’t want to talk about anything then—“

Because it’s one thing for someone to make jokes about their trauma and another for someone else to go poking and prodding at it.

“Hey,” Steve interrupts softly, nudging him with his knee, “first off, thank you for saying that and we appreciate your respect, but we got you. You worry about enough, sweetheart, let us take care of ourselves.”

Peter gives him a look.

“When it comes to this,” Steve amends, having the decency to look a little sheepish, “we’ll take care of ourselves.”

Bucky scoffs. “Uh-huh.”

“We will, Buck.”

“My therapist will be real happy to hear that.” He looks up at Peter and winks. “Besides, what good is our trauma if we don’t pin it up and display it for good grades?”

Peter huffs, the joke undercut a little by the way Bucky knocks his foot against Peter’s and Steve’s arm stretches over the couch behind him.

Peter has to resist the urge to lean his head onto Steve’s shoulder, because then Steve’s hand will come up and ruffle his hair and Peter’s eyes will droop slowly closed as he loses himself in the warmth and safety of Steve’s embrace and then Steve will lean down to press a kiss to his temple and—

Right. Homework.

“What’s it on specifically,” Bucky asks, clearly spotting the temptation on Peter’s end, “home front? Overseas? Time period?”

“Uh, it’s an analysis of total war.”

“Like, how much of the country was devoted to the war effort?”

“Yeah, basically. It’s talking about how the Nazi War Machine made their war total and how that extends to a lot of other countries, but also about the reasons why the war was fought—“

They delve into a conversation about total war, Peter pointing out how Italy’s motivation for territory keeps it from being a total war on their part, Bucky speaking to how the different dynamics worked in various countries and the fallout, Steve bringing up how much of the home front was devoted to bringing attention to the war being fought overseas. Then, of course, as is inevitable, they devolve into storytelling.

Peter’s notebook—with notes! He did his job!—is set aside as he gives in to the need to let Steve cuddle him on the couch. Come on, the man is warm and big and gives good hugs, how is he supposed to not? Bucky sprawls out on the floor, leaning back on his hands as he smiles fondly.

“You know,” he remarks casually, “I fought a Nazi in my pajamas once.”

Peter blinks sleepily. “Wait, really?”

“Yeah, though how he got in my pajamas, I have no idea.”

Peter snorts. Then he giggles. Then he’s collapsing into Steve’s side, positively sobbing with laughter.

It’s not funny.

It’s really not that funny.

But here he is, fucking dying, and he doesn’t even have the wherewithal to welcome the sweet embrace of oblivion.

“Okay, note to self,” Bucky murmurs when he’s calmed down a little, wiping away tears, “sleepy spider likes corny jokes.”

“Just don’t break our baby spider, Buck, Momma Spider would kill you in cold blood.”

“Listen, if Natasha Romanoff kills me, don’t prosecute. That’s on me.”

Peter can’t do corny jokes. He really can’t. He just sounds like he’s a recording so old it’s unintelligible and it’s bad. He has a reputation to maintain here!

However, there is one sense of humor that Peter is very eager to learn and adopt, and hey, it might actually be Iron Dad™ Approved!

It’s a rookie mistake, asking Bucky Barnes for a hand, but in his defense, Peter was left unsupervised and was distracted.

“Hey, Bucky, can you give me a hand?”

“Sure thing, Peter.”

Something nudges his arm and he looks down. It’s Bucky’s metal arm, bumping up against his elbow.

It’s a cheap joke. It’s bad. It does not deserve Peter’s laughter.

He snorts anyway.

“That’s on me,” he says after a second, “you know what, that’s my fault.”

“What, is this not what you meant?”

“No, no, you’re fine.” Peter scruffs a hand through his hair. He looks down at the prosthetic again. “Well, that’s disarming.”

Now it’s Bucky’s turn to snort. “You gotta hand it to me, though, it’s a good joke.”

Oh, it’s on.

“No, no, of course, I understand. You really can’t let an opportunity like that slip through your fingers.”

Steve chokes on his next sip of coffee. “Stop making the kid shoulder the burden of making puns with you.”

Sam raises an eyebrow. “Don’t palm this off on someone else, Steve, you’re as bad as he is.”

“Oh, it’s not that bad.” Peter shrugs. “You just gotta knuckle-down and find the right one.”

“Do you have any idea how many times I’ve had to reach for puns?” Bucky hefts his arm.

“I’m gonna go out on a limb and say a lot.”

“Jeez, Pete, good one.”

“What, are you not finding them humerus?”

Sam’s gone, Steve shortly after. Bucky just grins proudly at him.

Then there’s a massive thunk from behind them. Peter turns around to see Tony slamming his forehead into the counter.

“You are all going to kill me,” he mutters, glaring up at them, “all three of you.”

“Oh, come on, Mr. Stark, Captain Barnes would never hurt you.”

Tony raises a skeptical eyebrow.

“After all,” Peter grins, gesturing to Bucky who is doing a very good innocent face—he must’ve been taking notes from Steve— “look at him, he’s completely armless.”

“Peter Benjamin Parker—“

Okay, so maybe it’s not Iron Dad™ Approved.

Oh, well.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael in the Mainstream: The Suicide Squad

Suicide Squad has frequently been touted as one of the worst comic book movies ever, and honestly? I don’t really agree, even if I almost wholeheartedly agree with every criticism of it. The editing is bad, the story is a mess, the Squad’s friendship is nonexistent, characters like Waller act like absolute idiots, Enchantress is a bad character and an absurd villain for these people to face… And yet, the core cast of scoundrels are all pretty likable when you wipe off the crap they’re buried under. These characters all could have shined bright if they were given competent writing and direction; the ideas are there, but the execution is unbelievably flawed due to excessive executive meddling (and probably a bit of pretentiousness on director David Ayer’s part). If only there was a director capable of taking the concept of a bunch of C-list villains getting together and performing dangerous missions and, along the way, becoming a found family…

That director thankfully exists, and his name is James Gunn. Gunn has already shown twice that he is capable of doing “a bunch of assholes become a found family” really well with the two Guardians of the Galaxy films, films that have a lot of style and flair that help make them the best films in the MCU, and considering Suicide Squad was mangled the way it was to try and be more in line with his Guardians films, it only makes sense to pull him in to give Task Force X another shot. Why settle for imitations when you can get the real thing? It’s not like he was doing anything else while Mickey Mouse put him in time out for naughty tweets, after all.

But this isn’t Gunn under the thumb of the Mouse, oh no; this is Gunn allowed to go absolutely wild. This is Gunn given the budget of a modern superhero film and asked to make a Troma picture, with all the blood, gore, and cheesiness that entails, and by god did he pull it off. Right from the get go we are given a taste of just what sort of movie we’re in for as a mangy child-murdering weasel man shows up and Nathan Fillion detaches his arms from his body to gently tap enemy soldiers on the head, and somehow things only get wackier from there.

Gunn seemed to actively go out of his way to fix every single problem of the original film. The characters, for instance, are all fairly similar to those of the first film. Bloodsport is clearly the stand in for Deadshot, but where Deadshot was just your average charming, funny Will Smith role to the point it could get distracting, Idris Elba makes Bloodsport a tired straight man to the wacky antics around him and portrays his growth through the film very well. Peacemaker is the jackass of the team in the vein of Captain Boomerang, but where Boomerang had little use in the narrative despite being the best and funniest non-Harley member of the team, Peacemaker is given his full due, with John Cena making him one of the funniest assholes ever put to film and even giving him a bit of depth and moral complexity. King Shark, AKA Nanaue, is obviously Killer Croc’s replacement, but where Croc was bland and really just stood in the background the whole movie, Nanaue is a sweet, charming, funny oaf with brutal strength who is just absolutely lovable and adorable, all capped off with hilarious vocal delivery from Sylvester Stallone himself. Polka-Dot Man is something of a replacement for El Diablo, though while El Diablo was really bungled by the narrative despite being well-acted and sympathetic, Polka-Dot Man is given ample opportunity to be funny, tragic, and useful all at once, and gives him a bit of an arc (pretty impressive for a character who was added in solely because Gunn googled who the lamest DC villains were). And finally, Ratcatcher is something of the replacement for Katana, being the second woman of the squad and the token good teammate, though where Katana was awkwardly shoehorned in at the last minute, Ratcatcher is clearly the heart of this team and brings the band together. Overall, the new Squad is leagues better than the original, and you will care for this band of criminals by the film’s end.

Returning characters get their due as well, particularly the ones really screwed over by the first film Waller and Flag get it the best of all. In the first film, Waller’s entire scheme was stupid, nonsensical, contradictory, and basically everything she did went against what was told to us about her, namely that she is a master manipulator. It was really a waste of Viola Davis, who had the presence and mannerisms down but who was constantly being failed by a shoddy script. Thankfully, that’s not the case here; Waller is very much the ultimate, manipulative girlboss she should be, from using her own troops as a distraction for another team to threatening Bloodsport with his daughter getting raped and murdered in prison over a minor offense if he doesn’t join her Suicide Squad. She is a stone cold bitch you will love to hate, and is easily one of the best comic book villains in film now (quite the turnaround all things considered). Flag is an actual character in this movie, with great chemistry with the members of the new Squad, particularly Bloodsport and Harley. Much like Bloodsport, he also gets a bit of a rivalry with Peacemaker going, which ends up being entertaining and even leads to a truly sad moment late in the film. Quite impressive for a guy who did nothing but spout awkward exposition in the first film.

Then we have Harley. I’m going to be honest, Harley has never been written better than she was in this film. While Robbie has had the character down from day one, the scripts have consistently failed her. The original film did nothing with her but sexualize her and have her spout crappy one-liners, and while Birds of Prey was a massive step up and had her written as she should be, the overall narrative of that film didn’t quite give her the due she deserved due to her feeling like a passive character pushed around by the flow of the plot. Here, though, Harley fully grasps at what’s given to and takes charge when she can, leading to one of the best action scenes in a film full of them. She ahs great interactions with her teammates and is just consistently funnier than she ever has been before, and it makes me happy to know someone who loves this character as much as Robbie does is finally getting to truly shine as she deserves.

The music and editing are vastly better. Remember how the original film had a new licensed song every minute, and almost all of them made no sense, and the music that played for Deadshot was exclusively rap artists (which was lowkey kinda racist)? Well, Gunn is bringing his ability to weave songs into the narrative with this one, but he also gives plenty of time for the music composed for the film to shine. As for the editing, gone are the obtrusive comic-book style cards that announce stupid throwaway details (and in a few cases, plot points you will very likely miss), replaced by more amusing and less obtrusive gags. The movie is also cut in a way where, you know, it makes sense. Everything flows naturally, and while there are a couple of points where time rewinds so we can see how we got to a certain point, it’s never so confusing that you can’t follow it.

The stakes are vastly overhauled. It made zero sense in the first film that Waller would assemble a team that consists of people whose powers range from “is good with weapons” to “is an Aztec fire god” to “is a big ugly crocodile man” to take on Superman-level threats. This is like if you sent a Boy Scout troop to fight Godzilla, it’s just not gonna end well and there’s an absurd disparity in power levels. Here, the team is being sent on a general black ops mission and have their skills selected by who would be most useful for the mission, and while they do end up taking on something a bit outside their context in the form of a certain cyclopean starfish alien, it’s a bit easier to swallow because of the buildup and because “big angry alien” is a lot more sensible as a threat to black op vigilantes than “ancient interdimensional witch goddess with a zombie army.”

Most importantly, though, is that this film lives up to its title. This is very much a suicide mission, and where the last team made it out relatively unscathed, this film suffers a lot of casualties. Characters die for gags, characters die suddenly, you might think a character is going to be a big, important part of the plot only for them to be dispatched right when it seems they’re getting going. For a film like this, it works perfectly, and some of the deaths are absolutely hilarious. That being said, you can kind of predict who lives and who dies based on star power alone; do you really think Harley’s gonna bite it? Come on.

I don’t really have many issues with the movie, but I will reiterate: this is essentially a Troma film with a massive budget, made by one of their alumni. Troma is a studio that makes gory, gross, and awesome B-grade movies and a similar irreverent mentality is on display here. If you can stomach gore, violence, and absurdity then this is a film you’re probably going to get into, but it’s definitely not the kind of comic book movie for everyone. Thankfully, it is exactly the kind of comic book movie for me. It honestly feels like the sort of movie I’d want to make, where I take a bunch of stupid C-list villains with dumb powers and give them actual development and characterization to the point the audience feels something for them. You’re going to be moved by a girl who controls rats, a stupid shark man, and a depressed dude who shoots polka-dots from his hands, and you’re not going to care.

I really hope they follow this up with another one, especially if they bring James Gunn back. There were a lot of characters he considered for the team, and a lot of them have potential, be that hilarious or dramatic. I mean, the man considered Mr. Freeze, that guy could be one hell of a leading man! Round out the team with some of the considered ideas like Rainbow Creature, Solomon Grundy, Chemo, Livewire, Punch and Jewelee, Man-Bat, Dogwelder, and the almighty Kite Man, and you’ve got one hell of a Suicide Squad! Also, maybe get Gunn to consider Crazy Quilt and Condiment King.

Really, the possibilities are endless, and that’s what the fun of a Suicide Squad movie should be: seeing the dumbest dregs of comic book history thrown into a place where they’re probably going to die horribly. Gunn managed to get that when Ayer couldn’t, and the results are perhaps his magnum opus. This is Gunn at his best and most free, unchained from the restrictions of forcing a film to tie into a bunch of others while also using all the tricks of his signature style to craft a damn fine film that easily holds up on its own outside the context of the DCEU. These are the kind of comic book movies we need, so let’s hope this film gets the respect it deserves so it acts as a wakeup call for studios content to churn out

[petri808]

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

Inukag AU

As Kagome stood in front of the mirror getting ready for her date with Inuyasha, a slip of the hand landed her fingers against a small, raised scar hidden below the hairline. At least that one was hidden unlike the few she had on her arms from the metal pins surgery, or the worst, a scar near her brow line from hitting the steering wheel. Kagome frowned, her eyes zoning in on the angry horizontal line. It was indented front and center like a frown line, where no amount of makeup could cover it up. She’d even thought about growing out her bangs and changing her hair style, but everyone insisted it was barely visible.

‘Don’t worry about it.’

‘Scar? Oh, I didn’t notice until you brought it up.’

They could just be saying such things to be nice. Well, regardless of their efforts to cheer her up, Kagome felt like the scar stood out like a bright spotlight centered directly on her face saying look at me! Remember me?! No, she honestly couldn’t remember! Didn’t want to remember! Why would anyone want to remember a near fatal accident?! All she wanted were the good memories to return. Wouldn’t it be so awesome if she could choose which memories could return? Any broken bones she’d had from the accident were healed now, but the missing memories a constant reminder her brain still had a ways to go.

Mrs. Higurashi called her from downstairs. “Kagome! Inuyasha’s here!”

She sighed and turned away from the mirror, taking a moment to release the negative thoughts. There was nothing Kagome could do about the scar short of expensive cosmetic surgery, but she genuinely looked forward to their dates, so it wouldn’t be fair or fun to bring Inuyasha down too.

“Be right down!” Kagome called back making sure her tone was chipper. She quickly finished checking to make sure her sundress was okay before grabbing her purse and heading down the staircase.

The couple’s plans for the day included walking around Ueno Park Zoo after lunch, then meeting Sango and Miroku for a double-date dinner. It was meant to be a lazy fun day. Even the late Spring weather was in their favor with a breeze cooling down the sun’s rays. Four months have passed, and with each day, Kagome’s comfort levels had increased thanks to all the support around her. Being with Inuyasha felt exciting, almost electrifying, bringing out those giddy crush-like emotions when someone is developing romantic feelings for someone. All through college Kagome managed to stay away from any serious relationships, and even before that no one had ever made her heart skip the way Inuyasha did. So, this was the first time that she could remember ever experiencing such intense emotions. Any sadness she’d been experiencing always melted away the moment his honey-hues and smile flashed her way.

As they walked around the zoo, it was in one of those moments of elation that Kagome had reached out and taken Inuyasha’s hand. Her cheeks were on fire and rosy blushed but delighted when he squeezed it back. He never did anything to make her feel embarrassed for the move, just a natural gesture between two young people on a date. She’d figured he wouldn’t make the first move out of respect for her, but it was something she’d been thinking about for a couple of weeks. What would it feel like? Was his hands sweaty? Strong? Soft? Would it bring back any connections? It didn’t trigger a rush of express memories, only a sense of normalcy as if her hand just fit perfectly in his. Not in terms of size but as if it belonged there, meant to be there all along. It was a little weird akin to a deja vu moment. But such feelings definitely brought a new flutter to her stomach and wave of heat, coloring her skin like a young schoolgirl with her first love.

There was no rhyme or reason to the pathways they chose around the zoo, simply looking at the different animal exhibits and taking in the relaxing scenery. Sometimes Inuyasha made her laugh by teasing the animals or getting their attention. The funniest had to be the monkeys who didn’t take kindly to his teasing. Kagome even joked that maybe it was because of his heritage that some could understand him on a level. Of course, he scoffed playfully at such a notion even though it seemed true when it came to canine species like the wolves or foxes who’d cowed down before them in the enclosure.

When they reached a concession stand three-quarter ways through the park, it was a perfect time for a break. The couple sat down on one of the benches to have a snack and rest their feet. Inuyasha purchased a parfait to share, but after a few minutes, a man and a woman suddenly walked up to them, catching them off guard.

“Kagome?” The woman excitedly questioned. “Oh, my Kami is that you?! Inuyasha, have you been hiding her away all this time?!”

Kagome looked to Inuyasha with a mild concern flashing in her eyes. She clearly didn’t recognize the excited person. But it was a common occurrence, so he immediately switched into support mode.

“No, it’s a bit more complicated,” Inuyasha told the woman. He then took his girlfriend’s hand to explain further. “This is Ms. Tanaka, Kagome. You’ve worked in the cubicle next to hers at work for about 3 years.”

Kagome looked back at the woman, “Oh! I’m so sorry, Ms. Tanaka, I don’t recognize you. The accident left me with… temporary amnesia.”

“Oh, my that’s terrible, but,” Ms. Tanaka waved her hand, “please don’t apologize. We were apprised of the accident and I’m just glad to see you! You look really great!”

“Thank you,” Kagome smiled sweetly at the woman’s kindness. “I hope once I regain my memories, I’ll be able to return to my normal life.”

“The boss told us your position is being held for you. Oh, I hope you get your memories back soon too! We really miss you at work! Inuyasha,” Ms. Tanaka wagged a finger at the man, “you make sure to help Kagome, okay?! We need her.”

Inuyasha chuckled at the woman’s bluntness. “I’m doing my best. Wouldn’t you say?” He questioned Kagome who responded with a blushing smile and nod.

“Inuyasha’s doing everything he can to help me.” Kagome added. “I don’t know what I would do without his support.”

“Awww!” Ms. Tanaka squealed. “You guys are always so adorable together! Anyways, we should get going, but it was so great to see you! I’m gonna tell all the office girls you’re looking well!”

The couple waved as Ms. Tanaka and the man took their leave. Well, that was certainly unexpected but positive. Unfortunately, the last of their ice cream had melted away, so Inuyasha tossed the remnants into a trash can. Neither said a word about the encounter. They just sat quietly on the bench amongst the ambient noise of zoo-goers. Assuming Inuyasha was also thinking about something, Kagome went inward, reflecting on the brief interaction and Inuyasha’s role in it. How he didn’t take the lead or explain things, allowing her to give whatever information she was comfortable with. It mean a lot to her, supportive, and holding her hand to remind her she wasn’t alone. This encounter wasn’t the first time they’d run into someone from her life. Sometimes Inuyasha knew them, sometimes he didn’t to explain, but Kagome never once had to feel flustered about having to deal with people. Perhaps the air of protection is what kept her feeling so safe with him.

Inuyasha spoke up quietly, breaking the silence. “Did you really mean what you said? A-About my support?”

Kagome looked over to see a hint of a blush coloring the man’s face which brought some of her own to her cheeks. “I did— I do. Everyone’s support has been wonderful, but… well, the times I spend with you I can almost forget about what happened and just… be happy.” Inuyasha looked up as her voice softened. “It really means a lot to me.”

She could tell that her flushed cheeks and the soft embarrassment registering in her eyes communicated all he needed to know of the feelings behind her words. But Inuyasha must have been a bit surprised, and not knowing how to respond because he continued to sit there staring and speechless. Kagome’s gaze unconsciously moved to his lips. Maybe it was the emotions of the moment along with his lowered defenses all combining together into a heightened sense of curiosity on her part… or perhaps desire, because Kagome felt a pull.

Her hand reached out tentatively to his cheek. “May I… kiss you,” she slipped out like a whisper in a breeze.

He smiled, placed his hand over hers and leaned into it with a nod. Kagome inched in, eyes closing as their lips gently made contact. Oh, wow… her mind froze as an electric shiver raced down her body. Inuyasha’s lips felt… natural upon hers. So even though all her memories had been lost, her body remembered and gave into the muscle memory of lips she’d kissed thousands of times before. Kagome pushed further, harder, eliciting a small sigh from the man that sent even more riveting shivers along her skin. Ugh! The exhilarating feelings from the kiss felt so amazing! When they finally pulled apart, Inuyasha placed one last chaste kiss on her forehead. It’s specific spot wasn’t lost on Kagome, and it made the ending feel so much sweeter that he’d chosen it.

“Was that, okay?” Inuyasha tentatively questioned.

Kagome smiled all starry-eyed and breathless at him. “Mmm, more than okay…”

And if she got her way, definitely more will be requested in the future.

[herstarburststories]

Important Milestones (Damian Wayne x reader)

✾ Summary: An intimate look through your and Damian's relationship. Requested! It’s been a hot bit since I wrote for Damian, so I hope this one is good!

↼❈⇁

First meeting

Dick was taking Damian to the circus

Add a long conversation and lots of "Yeah, Dami. I'm sure the animals are treated well-- Actually, animals aren't allowed in legal circus anymore. You don't have to worry."

They were watching the show, and Damian couldn’t believe that Grayson was so excited about clowns

Damian excused himself to get some food

Dick asked him to get a hotdog, but Damian will bring him popcorn #beaveg

Thing is, you and Damian arrived the food trunk at the same time

Which leaded to an argument

Y/N: I got here first!

Damian: You are not on the line!

Y/N: Because you almost ran over me!

You two kept going long enough for a worried Dick to show up

How to trust each other

You know when you've never seen a person before, but once you lay your eyes on them, you start seeing their face in every crowd?

That's basically you and Damian

How come you didn't know the idiot from the circus was also the Wayne guy that studied with you?

How he, with Talia and Batman's observation skills, never noticed you walking around Gotham's School and now he always caught a sight of you?

You and Damian quickly fall into a weird routine:

Glare each other during lunch

Rolls your eyes when the others was talking in class

Annoy each other whenever you had the chance

Jon teased him a lot

Talking about Superboy...

He seemed off in the morning and he hadn't showed up for lunch like he always did

Damian decided to look for his best friend

Surprisingly, he found Jon crying in your arms in the middle of the chemistry laboratory

You just looked at Damian and nodded for him to come in

Y/N: His parents had a big fight. I found him here alone and thought I could help. Since you are here, guess I'll go.

Damian: You can stay. I mean, Jon probably could use your emotional assistance.

Damian still finds you annoying (and so do you), but you helped his friend

He trust you... A bit

Recognize your feelings

Damian came to school one day. He is clearly hurt-- he couldn’t even walk straight

Jon remained quiet. He was there when the week's villain throw Damian against a wall as if he was a bag of potatoes

But you don't know about the Robin detail

Besides, you are sort of a trinity with them now

Therefore, you worry

And you ask

And you worry some more

It's been a few weeks since your friendship started. Damian trusts you, he really does, but not enough to tell you

Let's keep in mind that pretty much like Bruce, Damian isn't the best when it comes to expressing his feelings through anything but violence

So, he acts like an idiot

Y/N: Damian, come on. I'm not stupid enough to believe you’d fall hard enough to get yourself hurt like this. Talk to me.

Damian: Stop pushing your need to fix everything on me, Y/N. You are not my mother. Don't waste your worry on me, I don't need it.

You realized you liked him when you felt way more worried than you usually would

But Damian just noticed his cherish for you when you glared at him with evident hurt in your eyes and left the table

He just wanted you back, making silly jokes with Jon and stealing his fries

Kiss me, idiot

Two days

48 hours + 12 minutes since you two fought

A whole weekend

LISTEN, his life was going perfectly well before you came along

Now it seems like you opened a spot that's exactly your fit and put yourself there

Whenever you aren't around, Damian feels this weird sensation of missing

Jon convinces him into talking to you

As soon as he sees you in school, he does

Apologize becomes another argument (surprise, surprise)

Damian: Why do you care so much?!

Y/N: Because I like you, idiot!

Damian: You, you like me? As in--

Then you kiss him

Because, let's be clear, you'd end up kissing or punching him

Finding out he's Robin

It's the most stupid way possible

Like, for real

Last night, his Robin's duties kept Damian up until 5am

Instead of leaving his clothes inside the Batcave as usual, he just crumbled to his bed

The sun arrived and so did you

School project

While Damian was out to grab some books, you were studying his room

A picture of him and Jon. Some papers with Arabian words. A dog's bed. Robin suit. A sword

Wait, come back

A. Robin. Suit.

Damian Wayne was many things, but cosplayer certainly wasn't on the list

The pieces glued together fast

A rich family would make sense: Batman and Robin's instruments never looked cheap. Four Robins existed among the years, and Damian had 3 brothers. Not to mention that he'd show up with random scratches and never explain what happened. He was good with swords, and the current Robin had been seen with them a lot of times. Besides, Damian Wayne would never wear a costume willingly, much less keep one in his room

He walks inside the room to see you wearing his cape and mask

Y/N: Guess I'm robin' your persona, huh? Wanna tell me something?

Meeting the family

You come from a big family

Good thing because anybody else would be scared if they were in your shoes

MESS, MESS, MESS

Dick is smiling like a crazy all the time, and making dad jokes

Tim is teasing Damian by asking you to blink twice if you need saving

Jason is directly fighting Damian and calling him devil spawn

Bruce is quietly watching everyone with a subtle smile on his lips. He asks you a few questions, and occasionally asks the boys to behave before answering his phone and excusing himself

Babs, Steph and Cassandra come in later

Now the teasing is divided between you and Damian and Steph and Tim

You tease them a lot, blushing Tim is adorable

You are wearing purple boots, and Steph already loves you for that

Dick tells Babara about you being aware of the family secret

She offered to train you for some self-defense

YOU ACCEPTED, DUH. SHE IS THE BATGIRL!!

Cass is more quiet, but very friendly

Alfred was the first batfam member that you'd met, though (also your fav)

You try (key word being try) to help him in the kitchen

Batcow became your best friend, sorry Jon

You met the Titan family as well

Now you had munition to tease Dick as much as he teased you and Damian

Thank you, Kory

Also, Kor is a real life alien princess, how cool is that!?

Beast Boy is the funniest guy -- and now you are pretty sure you became a vegetarian because you can't eat animals after seeing his transformation

Raven reminds you of Cass

Donna is so powerful, and she knows so many languages!

You get along with his two families

Although Damian rolls his eyes a lot during y'all interaction, he is really happy

First kid

You and Damian are in university when it happens

You both know it's a big step

There's no turning back, you two will always be connected

Damian and you are now responsible, parents

Of the cutest bunny!

Yep, you insisted on naming him Robin

The first kid you both adopted together

Get on your knees for me

Damian isn't much of a romantic

You don't really mind

But when he proposes, it's the sweetest thing

You two had ordered some veggie food to celebrate the end of your finals

Finally a break!

Damian was holding you on the couch as you both watched one of your favorite movies when Robin, the bunny showed up

Y/N: Batbunny, just because we have vegan food, it doesn't mean you can get some. Go eat your lettuce.

Damian: Beloved, maybe you should see what he brought for you.

The bunny had a necklace wrapped around him!!

And the said necklace was attached to a ring!!

A FUCKING DIAMOND!?

Extra of love:

You became a vigilant for a bit before deciding how you truly wanted to help people

Besides charity, you became a lawyer specialized in cases of racism and immigration

Your and Damian's wedding was a mix of your culture and his

Comment/Reblog if you liked it, feedback is magic! Wanna see more? Check my Masterlist! How about get tagged on my batboys or just Damian works? Ask me or add yourself to my taglist!

[killian-whump]

Game Night! [Liveblog #4]

I’m gonna try to finish up the last game and the end of the video in this post, so we better get right to it!

The last game they’re going to play is called Quiplash. Okay, they’re going to be given a prompt... and whoever finishes the quip in the funniest way wins. Kat warns that she’s a master at this and that everybody’s going down. Colin seems impressed by her bravado, but incensed to win nonetheless. “Here we go,” says Sam unenthusiastically 😂

AND THE GAME IS ON!!!

...or it’s meant to be on. Sam’s not joined the game yet. Seems to be having some sort of technical difficulty. “You scared of losing, Sam?” Colin asks helpfully. “All the rest of us got in pretty easy...”

Sam has joined. His name is now Colonislosin 😂 It’s hard to see exactly how it’s spelled. I don’t think any of them can see it that clearly, either. Sam has to tell them what it says.

“We’ll see,” Colin says. “We’ll see.”

The game begins. “It’s more like Col-on is losin,” Sam says. “Col-on.”

The audio is breaking all up in this segment, and Josh even comments on “Low internet signal. We’re doing great.” Hmm. I paid $10 for this, you damn well better find a stronger internet signal.

ROUND 1! The first quip is: We can all agree that... The two answers are: “Covid sucks” and “Josh... is... hairy” “Covid sucks” wins ~ and Colin gets all the points.

The second quip is: A terrible name for a funeral parlor. The two answers are: “Happy Times Palace” and “We put the Fun in Funeral” “We put the Fun in Funeral” wins ~ and Kat gets all the points.

The third quip is: “Knock Knock” “Who’s There?” The two answers are: “Me DUH” and “Get the fuck away from my door” “Get the fuck away” wins and Josh gets most of the points. Colin gets some too, I think, for his answer, because Sam voted for it.

The fourth quip is: “Something that would make a creepy replacement for the horses on a merry-go-round.” The two answers are: “Mini Josh’s” and “Creepy Princes” AREN’T THOSE THE SAME THING?! 😂 “One and the same,” says Sammy. “You don’t want to sit on a mini Josh, do you?” Sam ponders. Josh forgets to even vote, and Sam gets points for “Mini Josh’s”

At the end of Round 1, Sam is in the lead, with Kat and Colin tied for second.

I wanna take this moment to apologize for how BORING this post is so far. During the games, all five people (the three stars, Josh, and Sammy the producer) are in these miniscule windows on the far right of the screen. You can barely even see them. And during this game, there’s little to no conversation going on between/during the quips. As much fun as this game might be to play, it’s not a lot of fun to watch. The last one was better, but even that tended to DRAG for the audience at home. Josh really needs to work on the games he’s having stars play if he plans to keep charging $10 a month to watch this stuff. Also, the audio keeps breaking up in this segment, so even when they talk, some of it’s hard to decipher.

“I respect that Colin is doing this instead of reading bedtime stories to his children tonight,” Josh says as everyone’s entering in their answers for Round 2. “[That’s] how committed I am,” Colin replies. Kat says something that is so broken up, I can’t even begin to figure out what it is. Something about bedtime stories and Colin’s kids. It’s probably funny. 🤷‍♀️ I’m getting mad about my $10 gift card being gone again.

Alright. Round 2.

Quip #1: It never ends well when you mix ___ and ___. Answers: “poo and oatmeal” and “Sam and Josh” Okay, that second one is gold. Who did that? Apparently Colin did “poo and oatmeal” and Kat did “Sam and Josh”. Bless her. Colin gets the points with more votes, though.

Quip #2: The worst car feature that ends with “holder” Answers: “penis” and “diaper” Sam is just blinking rapidly. Now he’s laughing. “How does that work?” he asks. No one answers. “But I wanna know,” he says. “How does it work?” Josh wins the points with his “penis” answer - which Colin voted for, by the way - but no one cares now. “Does it move?” Kat asks. “Or does it just-” “Don’t ask too many questions,” Josh says. “What kind of size is it?” Sam asks. “Is it stationary or is there a motor feature?” Kat asks. “Maybe it’s a good idea...” Sam concludes, as Josh laments the kind of dreams he’s going to have now.

The third quip is literally happening in the background now, as everyone talks about the penis holder. Colin is noticeably silent on the topic XD

Quip #3: Something upsetting you could say to the cable guy as he installs your television service. Answers: “you smell like fart” and “want to see my murder room?” I’m sitting here going, “don’t be Colin, don’t be Colin” while simultaneously knowing 100% that Colin absolutely typed “you smell like fart” into his phone and... Yeah. Yeah, I’m right. That was him 😂 And he got 0 points. “Oh, boooo,” says Colin. Honey... Honey, I’m sorry, but that was bad.

Quip #4: The name of the reindeer Santa did not pick to pull his sleigh. Answers: “ohdeer” and “tipsy” Neither of these are very good. I hate this game. Kat gets the points with “tipsy”.

OH WOW, YOU GUYS. The final points are tallied and...

WHAT IS THIS TOMFOOLERY?! Colin is LOSING?!?! I mean, I know “you smell like fart” was bad, but this is unbelievable! I call shenanigans!!!

Colin is literally sitting forward in his chair now, lmao. The determination is intense, you guys. I once again cannot handle him right now. I wish he wasn’t in the teeny tiny window so I could show you guys better, but look at him getting his fucking game face on:

This man is a peanut and I love him with every fiber of my being. Look at him being a competitive little somesuch in last place. I can’t, you guys. Bury me here, etc, etc, I’m just a goner for this ridiculous man.

O’DONOINTENSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last Round: Quip: Strange side effect to hear during a drug commercial. Answers: “cream cheese will come out of your butt” “seeing double horowitz” and “the screams of baboons” - there’s only three because Kat didn’t get her answer in before the time was up. Aaaaaaand the sound’s breaking all up again 😣 Josh is wondering what the point is of voting, if all you’re doing is giving points to your competitors. “Do you have to give all three votes?” Colin asks. “See,” Josh says. “Colin is thinking strategically, like me.” “Well, I’m not entirely sure the other two, I think, deserve any more than one point.” But it’s... it’s the WAY he says it, OH MY GOD, lol. Lemme... I gotta... Okay, I screen recorded it for you guys.

That O’Donosass is actually almost worth $10, you guys.

Which is good, because the audio is getting worse and worse on this and it’s starting to piss me off. Anyway! Everybody’s got a lot of points, because those were ALL good answers (Colin’s was “the screams of baboons” which I quite like). Let’s see the final tally...

Josh is the winner! But Colin managed a come-from-behind close second, so I’m really proud of him :D Sam mentions how Josh invited them all there to play games and then BEAT them. Josh is closing out the show, saying he hopes everyone enjoyed it... “I enjoyed it,” Josh says "But maybe that’s just 'cause I won at the very last second.” “No, well, you won ONE,” Colin cuts in. “You won ONE game.”

SERIOUSLY. BURY ME RIGHT THERE 😂😂😂

“Colin won the first round,” Josh says.

“...and then we have these two other people.”

Incidentally, I wish everyone’s webcams were as clear as Kat’s.

Anyway, now there’s some sweet summing up... and Josh hawking everyone’s current projects... (gee, it’s like this is promotional content or something) and the show closing down and-

“Can I win next time?” asks Sam Heughan.

~ The End ~

I hope you guys had fun reading this. I gotta say...�� this one video isn’t worth $10. I can see if you’re a huge fan of Josh’s or really into celebrity culture, $10 a month might be a fine price to pay for a bunch of this kind of content... but for a one-time video when your fave happens to show up on his channel? Nah. He really should have a “one time access” fee available for individual videos that’s a LOT less. Like, I’m talking, like... $1 or 2. This is literally a zoom call... and as such, the quality’s only as good as his guests’ webcams and audio and everyone’s internet connections. Also, I found the game format enticing... but ultimately boring due to the games chosen. The Would You Rather was the most fun of the three, because we actually got to hear from the stars and get some banter going. The games relied too much on the stars interacting with their devices instead of each other or anyone really engaging the audience. Honestly, if it was any of my faves other than Colin in this video, I might not have even watched the whole thing. Colin’s adorable competitive streak and eagerness to win play games is what kept me watching. The idea is cute, but it needs some work. And the price is too high - especially with the audio issues in the last ten minutes or so. That’s my final verdict.

[suttttton]

Elias Bouchard vs. Destiny

Febuwhump, Day 4 (alternate): Identity Reveal

***

Working at the Magnus Institute is… surprisingly normal.

At best, Elias expects to see his own terror reflected in his coworkers’ eyes. At worst, he fears they will all be like Wright, their eyes cold and monstrous and hungry. He expects to be brought into a world of darkness, to face true monsters that ordinary people never imagined existed.

Were you drawn here? Against your will?—

Instead, his job is just… paperwork. Spooky paperwork, sure, but still paperwork. He talks to a lot of people on the phone, most of whom admit that the statement they gave was just a prank or a dare or whatever. Even the people who genuinely believe their experiences were real seem… more than a little unhinged.

“It saw me through the pages, it’s coming”—

He avoids James Wright, of course. It isn’t difficult. Wright spends most of his time in his office on the third floor, only occasionally coming down to visit Research. When that happens, it’s easy enough for Elias to excuse himself for a smoke break, avoiding Wright’s eyes the entire way. Elias doesn’t understand why his coworkers don’t do the same, although he imagines it would get very crowded in the alley behind the Institute if all of Research tried to take a smoke break at once.

The first time he sees his line manager return from a meeting with Wright, Elias watches her very closely, looking for… unease. Fear. Anything to reflect the way he feels whenever he so much as catches a glimpse of Wright in the halls.

She notices him looking, and smiles at him. No sign of distress in her whatsoever.

Elias returns to his work, but the moment sticks with him. She’d just spent thirty minutes having a meeting with a monster, and she isn’t the slightest bit disturbed.

Have you ever had an experience that you would consider supernatural?—

They don’t know.

All of these people who work here, who interact with Wright every day, and none of them know. Elias is the only one who sees it. Elias is… different.

Elias doesn’t get much work done, that day.

***

Two months later, Elias’s line manager informs him that he has a performance review scheduled with Mr. Wright.

His mouth is dry. “But—I thought you did my performance reviews.” He tries for a smile, but it’s weak.

“Mr. Wright likes to do an in-person review with everyone at the end of every quarter,” she says. She notices the look on his face, and softens slightly. “It’s no big deal. They usually only take five minutes or so. He just goes over the reviews I submitted, and asks if there’s anything he can do to improve your experience here.” She rolls her eyes. “Standard management stuff.”

“Okay,” Elias says, his voice faint. He has to go into that office again? Sit across from the thing that looks out from behind James Wright’s eyes, and just—what? Pretend he isn’t terrified?

Allan’s lifeless body—

What did they do with his eyes?—

“He won’t fire you, if that’s what you’re worried about,” his line manager says. Her voice is gentle, very different from the thinly-veiled annoyance she usually addresses him with. “Wright hasn’t fired anyone the whole time I’ve been here, and your reviews are fine. You’ll be okay.”

“Right,” Elias manages.

The day of the review, Elias seriously considers going to work high.

He decides against it. Wright would know, and then he’d smile and ask Elias some question that he isn’t prepared for, that no one would be prepared for.

What are you afraid of? A very sensible fear—

Elias wonders what would happen if he just—skipped the review. It would be rescheduled, probably. He could skip it again, obviously, but he isn’t sure Wright would tolerate a farce like that for very long.

So, at 2:00pm, he climbs the stairs to Wright’s office. By now, his terror has faded to a blank numbness, an acceptance that he can’t stop whatever is about to happen. He almost feels like laughing.

“Do you enjoy your work here?” Wright asks, after he’s seated and the little introductions are complete.

“Yes,” Elias says, and it isn’t even a lie. He does enjoy the work. He enjoys the variety involved in followup, enjoys chatting with total strangers on the phone. He gets along with his coworkers, and even his line manager is more tolerable than other bosses he’s had. He’d be planning his career here, if not for James Wright’s unfortunate presence. As it is, he’s just trying to survive each day.

“Is there anything about working here that you… hate?”

Elias is not going to tell James Wright that he hates him. He’s not. That’s clearly what Wright wants, leering at him as he is, but Elias refuses to engage with these games.

“Uh—The commute,” Elias says. “It’s a bit far from my flat, and taking the tube every day isn’t exactly the height of luxury.”

“Yes, I’d imagine it would be difficult for you, dealing with the unwashed masses every day.” Wright is still smiling in that cold, slightly-bored way of his. Like what he’s just said is a normal sentence, and not—

“So many gifts, and you’ve squandered them all”—

“What?” Elias’s voice is soft now.

“Do you miss the luxury?” Wright asks, his smile curling up into something more vicious, and Elias—

“Enough! Your friend died in a tragic murder, and it’s well past time you accepted that!”—

No, no, Allan knew what was going to happen, he told me—

“You had a bad drug trip. That’s all.”—

It wasn’t—I didn’t imagine this, there was a book and—

Elias gasps, suddenly back in the present. Wright’s expression is exactly the same. Elias is trembling. This shouldn’t—Wright shouldn’t be able to—What do these questions have to do with his performance?

“Are we done here?” Elias manages, his voice soft to hide its shaking.

“Not quite,” Wright says brightly. “There’s still the matter of your past reviews.” Elias’ review forms are stacked on Wright’s desk, and Wright picks them up, flicking through them. “In general, Lydia’s feedback is very positive, but there are a few concerning things here. You chronically miss deadlines, and on a few of your cases you’ve neglected to follow very promising leads.”

“I’ll try to do better.” Elias’ voice is flat, toneless. The numbness is returning.

“See that you do,” Wright says. “I hope to see improvement by next quarter.”

Elias nods.

What are they doing to his eyes?—

Wright dismisses him, and he makes his way back downstairs. He should return to his desk, return to his caseload that he’s been largely ignoring in favor of panicking about his review.

But he—can’t.

He goes to the alley instead, lights a cigarette with trembling hands. His shaky legs won’t hold him, even when he leans against the wall, so he ends up sitting on the ground.

The first sob forces its way up his throat, and then—he’s crying.

Sobbing on the filthy ground in the alley behind his less-than-respectable workplace. Pathetic. What would Father say?

Probably, “Elias, I’ll be happy to talk to you once you get help for your drug addiction.” Christ.

While he cries, Elias tries to think of what to do. He could quit, he supposes. But he really does need this job. His bank account had been full when his parents first cut him off, and there were provisions in the trust to provide for his needs when he was still in school. Now, though, his money really is running concerningly low. He needs the paycheck.

His tears are just starting to slow when the door opens. Elias starts, turns his face away, trying to hide the fact that he’s crying while hiding from his job.

“Oh—sorry,” she says. Elias recognizes the voice, they work together in Research. He can’t quite remember her name—Megan, maybe? “I can go, if you want some privacy.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” he says, and his voice wobbles. If she didn’t already know he’d been crying, she definitely does now.

She sits down on the step just outside the door. “Um—are you okay?” she asks.

“I’m fine.”

“Right. Yeah, I also like to come out here and cry when I’m feeling fine,” she says, her voice light with humor.

Elias smiles slightly, and wipes some of the wetness from his face. “It’s nothing you need to worry about.”

“I’m all ears,” she says. “Unless you really don’t want to talk about it, in which case, keep your secrets.”

Elias doesn’t respond to that. Doesn’t know how to reply, really. It would be nice, to talk to someone about it, but—It seems cruel, to force someone else into this mess. If she even believed him.

“I just—” She takes a deep breath. “Okay, this is going to sound really weird, but… We look after each other, in Research. A lot of the people who work here don’t really have support networks in our personal lives—ghost stories attract lonely people, I guess—so we try to support each other. So… if you need someone to talk to about this, you can talk to me.

Elias takes a breath. Might as well try. “Have you—noticed anything… off, about Wright?”

“Oh, you mean his whole mind-reading thing? Sure,” she says. She doesn’t hesitate, doesn’t take a moment to consider.

“I—yes,” Elias says, a little unbalanced. She knew? “The way he—drags up all your worst memories.”

“Oh yeah, he’s like that,” she says, wincing. “Did you just have your first performance review? Those can be kind of intense.”

He nods, uncertainly. She’s talking about this as if it’s completely normal.

“You’ll get used to it eventually,” she says. “In research, we like to make jokes about it. She wiggles her fingers at him. “'Ooh, I know everything about you,’” she says mockingly, pitching her voice down.

Elias doesn’t laugh. Just stares. “Aren’t you afraid of him?”

She laughs, really laughs, like it’s the funniest thing she’s ever heard. “What’s he gonna do, fire me? No. Why would I be afraid of him?” Then she sobers. “Are you afraid of him?”

Something sinks in Elias’s chest. He’d assumed that they didn’t know, that Elias was unique in being able to see Wright’s monstrous nature.

Turns out he’s just unique in being frightened by it.

He shakes his head. “No,” he says. “Just—had a bad performance review.”

She nods in commiseration, and he excuses himself not long after. Returns to his desk, his heart loud in his ears. He looks around at his co-workers, all of them so happy, so careless. Why aren’t they afraid?

Why did you heed the call?—

He doesn’t know.

He can’t trust them.

***

He asks to be transferred to Artifact Storage, and his request is accepted, albeit with some strange looks. No one requests to go to Artifact Storage.

For him, it’s infinitely preferable to Research. The monsters in Artifact Storage are acknowledged, for one. Feared, treated with caution. Not allowed to run a so-called research institute. Not joked about. For two, the turnover rate is so high that he won’t have to deal with pretend camaraderie. He knows, now, that he can’t trust any of these people. He’s on his own.

For four years, he does his work, cataloging dangerous artifacts, sending the more junior assistants to do the more dangerous tasks. He doesn’t try to be good at his job, he doesn’t want to be good at his job, but after years of working in Artifact Storage, he is by far the most senior member of the staff. He starts to pick up a few tricks. He becomes knowledgeable. People respect him.

His line manager says he’s looking to transfer to the Library, and asks if Elias would like to be recommended for the promotion. Does he want to be Head of Artifact Storage?

He should say no, but some part of him that never quite managed to kill its ambition answers for him. “I’d be honored,” he says.

***

Meetings with Wright never get easier. In four years, he manages to drag up everything Elias would rather keep hidden, everything he doesn’t want to think about. Allan is a popular subject, as are his parents. And there’s always—

He cannot move. He cannot scream. What are they doing to his eyes?—

Elias doesn’t get used to it, and when Wright schedules a meeting with him to discuss his forthcoming promotion, Elias dreads it just as much as that very first performance review.

“I am very impressed with your progress,” Wright says, steepling his fingers over his desk.

“Thank you,” Elias says.

“Nearly five years in Artifact Storage,” Wright says. “I wouldn’t have guessed it, but perhaps I should have. You’re not a brave man by any means, but what does that matter, when you’re running from the most frightening thing you can imagine?”

What are they doing to his eyes?—

Elias swallows. There’s something heavy in the air. He always feels watched, in the Institute, in Wright’s office, but this is—different, somehow. Closer.

“If you were more curious, you actually might have guessed it. If you’d looked into the history of the Institute, investigated the men who preceded me in this position. You might have noticed certain similarities. You’re smart enough to have put the pieces together, but alas.”

—squandered—

“You never were the curious sort, were you? You were more interested in self-preservation than answers. Keeping your distance from anyone who might drag you away from your… destiny.”

Wright stands, and Elias flinches. “I-I don’t—” This is wrong. Something is wrong.

This is the place I know I should be—

But—

“What did you imagine was calling you here?” Wright says, and now he’s close, too close, towering over him. Elias wants to stand, want to retreat, but he doesn’t—He can’t move—

Wright places his hands on the two arms of Jonah’s chair, trapping him. Elias shrinks back, as far as he can get. “Did you think it was something noble, that you were destined to be a hero of light, to put an end to the sickness of this place? You would drive a knife into my eyes, killing the monster and setting everyone free?”

He doesn’t know what he thought. He thought he was destined for something better, to be something more than other people.

“You will be,” Wright says, leaning over him, too close. “Have you figured it out yet?”

He shakes his head wordlessly, a sob gasping from his throat.

Wright smiles. “James Wright didn’t either.”

***

When the thing that now controls his body takes over the Magnus Institute, they all think, nepotism at its finest.

Elias understands why he’s here, now. Understands the thing that called him here. Understands the many paths he could have taken, to reach a different end. Too late.

Elias’ eyes are carved out of his still-breathing body, and the Eye feasts on latent terror, cultivated so perfectly, for so long.

Elias is replaced, and no one misses him. He himself ensured that no one who worked with him knew anything about him. And everyone else is dead already.

James Wright is discarded. Elias Bouchard is taken.

Jonah Magnus lives on.

[orionsangel86]

Hey Everyone,

As you have probably noticed, I have neglected this blog for a long time now. I haven’t been on any fandom related social media at all actually. But I figured since I am currently in a good mindset, I want to write a post just outlining some things which basically boils down to a goodbye letter to Supernatural fandom.

Long rambling post below the cut...

This year (and the last) has just taken it out of me in terms of general negativity online both in fandom and in the real world. At first I got tired of fandom (mostly because Twitter is a cesspool of policing and bullying) and then I got tired of everything else (the world sucks right now, and my mental health basically stopped me from being able to participate in any form of online activism – just because I’m not blogging about something, doesn’t mean I don’t support the cause ya know?). Earlier this year, right around the time of the UK lockdowns, I had surgery and a recovery period in which I spent a lot of time with family, and just reacquainted myself with the real world. I think perhaps the coronavirus pandemic made me realise that long before lockdown began I had already been isolating myself from my real life and diving further and further into an online black hole.

It was years in the making. Supernatural fandom preoccupied my thoughts for such a long period of time it got to the point where every moment of my non working time seemed to be spent either online scrolling my tumblr dash or twitter feed, or reading fanfic or doing something fandom related. I invested so much of myself into this show and fandom that I think I forgot who I was before I was a Supernatural fan completely.

After my wake up call in late 2019, which lead me to break free from an extremely nasty clique, I have tried to re-enter fandom on my own terms, as well as attempt to enjoy the source material and the fandom creations to ignite some new spark of love and interest in the show. Yet as much as I have tried, I have failed to do so.

I was thinking recently about someone I used to follow years ago before I ever created a blog. When I was still just lurking in the tumblr shadows and followed the likes of Mittens, Lizbob, and other meta writers of the period, there was a blogger whose name I can’t remember but she was the funniest blogger I had come across. But when the show killed off Charlie Bradbury, she quit. I had never even interacted with her, as I was barely getting my blog started at the time, but I’ll never forget a post she wrote about her feelings on the show. She had recently started watching something else (I think it was Sense8 but can’t recall entirely), and that this new show had given her everything she had never thought she could have from her fave before. She wrote about how her relationship with Supernatural had become abusive. That for years the writers of Supernatural continued to throw punches at fans like her – women, LGBTQ+ people, people of colour, and yet she continued to give it all her time and attention, brushing off the punches because she was so damn devoted to the characters. Then this new show had come along, and it was like she had seen the light. The killing of Charlie Bradbury was the last straw, and she dumped Supernatural’s ass and fled into the arms of her new love.

I hope she is doing fantastically today.

What she wrote has resonated with me for years. I was a fairly new Supernatural fan at the time, and therefore didn’t really understand what she meant. A TV show can’t be abusive. Can it?

Of course, we are speaking in metaphor here, and in no way are these metaphors meant to reduce or limit the truly serious situation of actual abusive relationships, but every now and then, when a new episode of Supernatural has left me feeling upset, disappointed, frustrated and grossly let down, in some cases affecting my mood for days at a time, and therefore my mental health. I have thought back to those words she wrote and quietly agreed with them in my head. Yes. This is a metaphorically abusive relationship.

When I discovered earlier this year that Castiel was most likely going to be killed off in some sort of bullshit self sacrifice before the end of the show, I was extremely distressed. When I found out that my favourite person of all time Misha Collins, supported this ending for Castiel, and may have even been the one who pushed for it, I was more than distressed, I felt betrayed by the person I cared about most. I’ll admit to you all now that in my weakest moments I have fantasized about standing in front of Misha and screaming at him exactly just what kind of affect his “ideal ending” for Castiel will have on his fanbase, on their mental health, and potentially their own safety. This fantasy has me guilt tripping him and doing everything in my power to make him feel utterly shit about the decision. I know what you are thinking – don’t blame Misha, the guy has his own problems and we all know he projects his own self esteem issues onto Cas – and yes, I know this, like I said its only a fantasy to get me through my darkest moments. I don’t hate Misha at all. But perhaps I do love him a little less nowadays than I did back at the height of my fandom life. That’s at least still a little bit more than my feelings for Jensen and Jared which now I can only describe as complete indifference.

I am admitting all of this now knowing full well it will ignite shock and anger among the more die hard fans of J2M, to explain why I need to just leave this fandom completely, or more accurately, why I have already left fandom.

Over the past 10 months of 2020, I have watched a lot of TV (there isn’t much else to do during a lockdown when you are on crutches with your foot in a cast!) and the one thought that occurred to me over and over again was “this show is so much better than Supernatural”.

I kept comparing everything I watched, from the quality of the scripts, the actors, the special effects, to the inclusiveness of the shows. Just so many beautiful and interesting stories that seem to understand their audience, and understand how to entertain and impress without resorting to cringe humour, outdated jokes, and prejudice, not to mention misogyny and queerbaiting – yup, I said it.

The thing is, I think these thoughts have been creeping over me slowly for longer than just this year, but I have been desperately batting them away the way Dean Winchester bats away his own gay thoughts. Unlike Dean though, eventually I couldn’t ignore them anymore. I cannot continue to carve out space in my own soul for this show, which incessantly beats me down regardless of my devotion. The creators, the network, the writers, and sometimes even the cast, have all shown that they don’t care about me as a fan. I’m not some gun toting dudebro living in middle America, so why should they give a damn about me? I’m clearly not their target audience, nor have I ever been.

I know many of you will vehemently deny my personal opinion of Supernatural now. That is absolutely fine. I am sorry to be admitting it, but I had to. I feel like once I finally write out these words, I have got it off my chest and can close and lock the door on Supernatural for good.

Without Supernatural, I am able to focus on my real life, I am able to find pleasure in other things, new things, interesting things, that bring me joy and joy alone – not disappointment and frustration. I found a new job this year, which has been a huge accomplishment as I was stagnating in my old one, and several new hobbies under my belt. I moved to a new flat, I have a lovely flatmate who has been a godsend throughout lockdown, and I have rekindled friendships that I was neglecting due to my Supernatural obsession.

All in all, I am finding post-Supernatural life far more rewarding and content than my life in fandom. It has taken me a while, but I am over the show. And whilst I will always hold a special place in my heart for Castiel, it will be as I know him in my own mind; as the wonderful, strong, powerful and determined angel with a soul, who loves so strongly, and who is worth so much more than his own creators give him credit for. He is up there with Aziraphale and Crowley, with The Doctor, and Buffy, as one of the greatest characters of all time.  

So the Supernatural writers and creators can take whatever ending they have decided upon, and shove it up their asses. I am sorry to say that Sam and Dean Winchester are also lost to me. Any love I had for them was destroyed by their later season depictions. Castiel alone is the only character worthy of that space in my heart now. If in time he longs for a companion, I will find one for him, but it won’t be the Dean Winchester of the canon show. Canon Dean hasn’t been deserving of Cas for a long time now.

Perhaps I am still a little bitter about the ending. Perhaps the finale won’t be the disaster I expect it to be, perhaps Dabb will somehow turn it all around last minute following whatever travesty Bucklemming have given us in 15x19. Either way, I won’t be watching.

So this is me saying goodbye to this blog, at least until I have decided what else to do with it. It certainly won’t be a Supernatural fandom blog anymore. It wasn’t all wasted though. I did get a wonderful friendship group out of this fandom, and I have certainly expanded my knowledge of film and television analysis, as well as having enjoyed a great many memes.

I guess in the end, my internal war with my inner bitter Cas girl finished with her winning, and writing this post. Once it is posted however, I will put her to sleep with thoughts of a happy Castiel, who has swapped his wings for a beating human heart, and is living on a beach somewhere beautiful, refurbishing an old Victorian house, and greeting his kindly elderly neighbours. There’s a gay bar on the main strip, and the bartender is quite a dish. Green eyes and light brown hair with a killer smile. Castiel thinks he looks familiar, like a memory from a past life, but they’ve definitely never met, because this man is kind.

Now that she is asleep, there is nothing left for me here. Goodbye everyone. Whether you manage to enjoy the finale or not, I truly hope you too, find your peace.

[drwcn]

... I must say, it's really nice to know it wasn't only I who found book!LWJ's attitude unnerving. He was shown a posessive there, I think? The funniest thing that TGCF I actually liked, because despite one of 'merry couple' fangirling for another for years, he still gave him free space and trusted to make his own decisions.

Hi anons! :)

This post is gonna get kind of wanky, so be warned. If you don’t want wank, well don’t read this post. I really don’t like to answer wank asks because only positive vibes for my blog please and thanks (but don’t worry anons, I’m not mad, I’m just gonna put the three of you together so I can talk about some of mdzs’s problems once and for all).  Also disclaimer: my opinions are my own, I could be wrong about some things. I have only dabbled in the novel, some chapters here and there, and I really couldn’t finish it. I went ahead and read the original text, which is actually quite well written all things considered. The translations are fine, but it just doesn’t quite hit the spot. Thus, if I said some things which are factually incorrect, I am not opposed to being notified.  

First and foremost, for the anon that asked “what’s wrong with mxtx?” The short answer is nothing is wrong with her. She’s an author who writes popular online novels with a wide readership. Clearly people are receptive to what she’s putting out there. Good for her, you know. It’s not easy to be that well received. 

But in terms of her novels, there are several things that I personally don’t like. I’m just gonna list some of the things she’s said about MDZS/CQL. I have not consumed any of her other work. 

First, her treatment of her female characters. In an interview, she literally said that most of the men in her MDZS novel are single because she didn’t want to come up with names for their wives. Like....what the fuck. Take from that what you will. Also, look at her female characters. Seriously, what kind of fates did they have? According to another OP, all the female characters’ lines in MDZS added up to 50 sentences. Don’t quote me on this, I did not fact check. This is just what I heard. But even within the narrative itself, let’s do a body count. Jiang Yanli died for plot. Wen Qing died for plot. Qin Su existed and died for plot. A-Jing existed for 45 seconds and then died for plot. Baoshan exists in narration only. Madam Yu was a raging asshole. Madam Jin treated Jin Guangyao like trash. Cangse Sanren: dead. Mama Lan: (no name lol) dead. Where are the fucking women? Where? Let’s not forget all the other women that existed purely as plot device: Sisi, Bicao, Meng Shi. Mianmian is the only one who lived, but she literally had to - quote Eliza Hamilton - “take myself out of the narrative” to do it. 

Second, and this is a well known thing: mxtx claimed that the only canon gay relationship is wangxian, everyone else is straight because she doesn’t think it’s likely that there are that many gay people. If we interpret other male characters as couples, we’re free to have our own interpretation. ... ..... .... I’m fucking speechless. But also laughing because LHK and ZZJ literally ignored canon, and straight up made LXC and MY have a meet cute in class in front of everyone. 

Third, but not least, let’s talk about book!Lan Wangji. The following will strictly be talking about book!Lan Wangji and not show!Lan Wangji. Show Lan Wangji is very nuanced and WYB’s micro-expressions are great. (You’re doing amazing sweeties, don’t ever stop).

 What, pray tell, is book!LWJ’s personality? Silence is not a personality. book!LWJ is what we critics in the drama world call “高冷霸道总裁”, which is a trope in and of itself. And there’s nothing wrong with tropes, except a lot of viewers are getting...kind of sick of it, because it’s getting a little repetitive. 

高冷 = arrogant and cold, but like... in an admirably good way. Or as I like to call it, a stick up the butt and no communication skills. 

霸道总裁 = The Big Boss.  Attention: lemme use some heteronormative language here for a second because most of cdrama is written this way. The Big Boss is the fictional counterpart to the real life 高富帅 (gao fu shuai: tall, rich and handsome, the moniker for an ideal husband) that many aunties and mothers wish their daughters could marry. This kind of character is tall, rich and will swoop in to save the damsel-in-distress - erm, I mean the strong independent female character - when she’s in trouble. Because even though she’s a strong independent character, and sometimes even the main character, somehow her fellow male lead still has to play her knight in shiny armor. Not like, he’ll sit down and listen to her talk about her problems, no, no, he has to pay for her expenses, bail her out of trouble, save her life, sacrifice himself, go against the world for her... sounds familiar??? 

Yeah. 

And like, some novels do “the big boss” trope better than other. They give the “the big boss” a human side, let him interact with side characters, allow him to have friends, build on other relationships, such that he is 3D and can stand on his own. Eternal Love of Dream’s DongHua Dijun is a recent example which I think did a pretty good job of writing a male character that doesn’t let him revolve around the love interest 24/7. 

book!LWJ doesn’t work for me because what exactly is his character growth? He serves to back up Wei Wuxian and.....????? He’s so flat in his character built. He loves Wei Wuxian and....that’s it. What else is there? If there’s other character traits y’all picked up on that I didn’t, please let me know because I find him so boring and at times disturbing (in terms of the nature of his physical relationship with Wei Wuxian). 

In CQL, we saw Lan Wangji change as a character, we saw him struggle with morals and values, struggle against tradition and family and societal expectations. We watched him witness the death of Wei Wuxian and move on to face life afterwards. We know through the actions of Lan Sizhui that he helped raise a child who didn’t just follow rules blindly. When Wei Wuxian came back, we saw a matured Lan Wangji who had come into his own and was comfortable in his own skin. And in the end, when the dust settled and the truth was revealed, he rose to the occasion. Jin Guangyao’s death left a power vacuum, and Lan Wangji filled it. Someone once wrote an excellent post about Lan Wangji being attracted to Wei Wuxian’s sense of justice (recall Wang Yibo’s change in expression when Wei Wuxian prayed during the lantern ceremony). I think that is exactly right. For two individuals with such different personalities, their bond in my opinion lies in their ability to see right and wrong beyond rules and laws and customs.  

In the book, canon ended with the two main character going at it in the grass, and I guess...yeah that’s cool. Happy ending right? But what they did learn? What was the point? Lan Wangji had lived 13/16 years without Wei Wuxian. He knew who he was. But for Wei Wuxian, he came back to life in another person’s body and went through a gazillion different revelation within days. He needed to find himself again, discover who he is, what he wants in this new life. That is a process he needs to do by himself, without external influences and pressure. He needs to be given a chance to decide that Lan Wangji is who he wants in this life, not in the last life, and when he does Lan Wangji will still be here, waiting for him, as he has always waited for him. Lan Wangji is the rock, the constant, the home that Wei Wuxian could always fall back on. He is not a prison, not a master, not the dictator of Wei Wuxian’s life. Theirs should be a partnership of respect and understanding. They are soulmates not only in the romantic sense, but because they understand each other better than anyone else. 

Book!LWJ does not give us that. What it does give us is a badly written sexual intercourse that gives me the heebee-jeebees. Sometimes I think it’s even weirdly dub-con without intending to be dub-con. The truth is I can’t even begrudge mxtx for it, because she is not the only one to write in this way. I’ve read other c-novels and many many of them are like that. And here is where we’re getting into the discussion of cultural understanding/acceptance of sex, relationship, consent, gender roles and the what is taught to young adults in school. That is a rabbit hole I won’t go into. 

So that’s it. My thoughts. 

[yurireview]

Whiterose and the Supercorp syndrome

To start the scene between Ruby and Oscar will not lead to anything (the scene is not even romantic) ... but I think a good explanation is necessary for my Whiterose teammates to leave negativity.

Since I was a little absent I could see how many are "negative" for what happens with the Whiterose in this volume, many are already saying:

"I'm sorry for you fandom Whiterose"

"The Rosagarden will be canon"

There are times when the ships that are destined to be "Endgame" seem not to be when they try to force a Straight ship

Whiterose has Rosagarden

The Supercorp had Lames and Karamel (both equally bad)

The Supercorp is the best example of this even in spite of the adversities ... now it is the center of the plot and its future is bright (its 2 competitions sank and nobody misses it)

One of the things that helped this apart from chemistry, is that each interaction did develop its relationship which gave the material that both were "EndGame"

There was an acceptable context

First you have to analyze if the Rosagarden has material to be a canon?

I made a review of Rosagarden and how all their moments only had 13 min and that none had a "romantic" moment or even more significant than Whiterose'(here I leave the link) https://yurireview.tumblr.com/post/183745440112/why-the-rosagarden-does-not-work

but I will summarize 2 key moments in Vol 5 and 6 of RWBY

the dynamic between Ruby and Oscar does not exceed 5 minutes in the Vol 5 and Ruby really treats him like any of his other friends

let's just see the end (At no time can you see that it creates an emotional bond between the two) in fact the narrative ignores it.

It only focuses on the RWBY team but at the same time on the Whiterose (the link between Ruby and Weiss grew a lot after this)

that also moments before when she had to make the decision between helping Ozpin-Oscar or her sister…she decided to help her sister

It is safe to say that there is nothing about Rosagarden here (nothing was established)

Vol 6

Again this volume highlighted the Whiterose over the Rosagarden by far ... let's just observe the opening

This is Oscar

This is Ruby and Weiss

Again at the end of the season you could say that again the Whiterose was one of the main focuses and they had great moments between them (0 for the Rosagarden) the funniest thing is that in the end Ruby treats him like a child (like again from the group) ... so tell me, where is the establishment of the supposed Rosagarden canon?

there isn't, this one doesn't exist

Whiterose Vol 7-Supercorp season 3

As you know both cases are similar ... our ships receive almost no screen time and prefer that the protagonist talk to any other character and have their plot separated from the other.

While the other are "pairing" with another person

Supercorp fandom reactions were evident

Weiss is there (what a great irony)

The fandom Whiterose and others of the RWBY fandom are also having the same reaction as the Supercorp in this context ... it makes no sense.

Everyone even outside the fandom Whiterose notices how forced and stupid RT is being with the dynamics of Weiss and Ruby

That one there is one of my favorite conversations about Oscar ... as a character this fails because it is boring (apart from Ozpin inside) ... as I mentioned before is the "James Olsen" of the RWBY series and matching it with Ruby would be something so disastrous-pathetic for the show and for the protagonist ... as was the character of James for Lena

I think the difference is that Oscar is a shotacon (so the fandom tolerate it)

In general it is a couple that really does not add anything to the series and to top it is not profitable in the business sense. What do I mean?

Again the manga of RWBY always highlights the Whiterose (it is profitable) The merchandise highlights the Whiterose (because it is profitable)

We are a good part of the fandom of RWBY. Number 1 ship of Japon

As that girl said ... the Whiterose always stands out and it's not about showing off  but (We have more fan art than any other RWBY ship)

Whiterose Vol 7

Even though I understand narratively why R.T is separating Weiss and Ruby a lot:

They are giving time to many unimportant characters They are developing Weiss drama alone to prove their independence more The conflict of Ruby's secret and that is moving away a little from everyone The return of Penny The Bumbleby The Renora

Ironically, the Rosagarden has not received 3 minutes of screen in this volume, so saying that this is "Canon" is ridiculous in every aspect ... but even when there are no talks between Ruby and Weiss, there is something that RT does.

The looks between Ruby and Weiss

Comparing their past interactions, Ruby and Weiss didn't do that kind of look between them before and less with so much devotion in their eyes ... it is likely that the lack of communication in this volume (which is making the whole fandom anxious) has a reason for the end in season ... that all this has a great result for the Whiterose

so personally I don't worry about Rosagarden because R.T is not so stupid to do something so forced like the Rosagarden that it ends badly

Like the Supercorp ... the Whiterose ship is one of those who has traded his own fandom

in conclusion ... just wait and as always show support for your ship, in the end they will do well the Supercorp never gave up and now they are about to prove the glory of being a canon, having said this I say goodbye until next time

[x--daughters-of-darkness--x]

I TALKED TO AMY LEE OF EVANESCENCE ABOUT INSPIRING THE WORLD’S WORST FANFICTION

The singer of My Immortal (the song) has now read My Immortal (the fanfic)

If you mention the name “My Immortal,” you may mean one of two things. The first is the 2003 hit song from rock band Evanescence. The second is a Harry Potter fanfic so transcendentally, mysteriously bad that it’s transfixed the internet for years.

The fanfic My Immortal is about a time-traveling mall-goth teenage vampire wizard (named “Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way”) who is obsessed with Evanescence and a variety of goth-inflected rock bands. She’s supposed to look like Amy Lee, Evanescence’s lead vocalist, pianist, and songwriter. And to this day, nobody is sure who wrote the story or whether they were serious.

Back in the real world, Lee and the rest of Evanescence have spent months under stay-at-home orders during the coronavirus pandemic. They’ve used that time to film two music videos in collaboration with director P.R. Brown, each shot by band members and their families. The latest is a surreal video for “The Game Is Over,” a song from their upcoming album The Bitter Truth. In Lee’s words, it’s shot as a “psychological thriller,” full of imagery based on a specific fear or inner demon from each member.

These videos — filmed in living rooms, cars, and other personal spaces — give fans a new kind of look into the band members’ lives. But I was curious about a different kind of fan relationship: did the creators of “My Immortal” know about My Immortal? I spoke to Lee, and the answer is yes; in fact, it’s part of a long-running family joke. She’d never actually read it, however, until last week.

You’ve made two videos under quarantine, and they’ve taken very different approaches. What was the process behind each of them?

We really had to just think kind of quickly. We were working on another video treatment that would have been full-production, this whole deal with a big crew and things we could no longer have because of the pandemic — including the fact that we couldn’t even physically get together because we live all over the world.

We recognized that “Wasted on You” had a bunch of lyrical content that felt like all of a sudden where we were. So we went for that. I really wanted it to be real on a level like people hadn’t seen us before: in our own homes, in our real lives, not dressed up, not in makeup, just the real, raw us.

For the second one, it’s like “Okay, how do we take what we’ve learned and amp it up even more to make it look like a real video more than just us being ourselves?” We have all been very serious about the lockdown, so we have been completely alone for the most part during this time — and that is cool in some ways as a creator. But you really have to live with yourself all the time.

A few of us have gone through some difficult things in the past few years. [Bassist Tim McCord] and I both experienced losses in our immediate family. There’s just been a lot of hard. So you know when you’re finally forced to stop being distracted by all the things that keep us happy, there’s silence — and that stuff comes out. So each of us had a private kind of gut-spilling confession with [P.R. Brown] about what we’re struggling with.

We were just sharing deeply in a way that we don’t normally go all the way with when it comes to at least our visuals. When I pour my lyrics into my music, it’s always really raw. But in this, it’s like, we’re not going to hold back on the video side and just make it beautiful — we’re going to go for it and let it be ugly and share the dark parts of ourselves.

I think of a lot of your music as being open and vulnerable, and you interact with fans online. What does filming a video at home like this communicate that your normal social media presence and music don’t?

I hope it just shows more and more of that willingness to be vulnerable because as hard as it is, it always leaves me feeling more satisfied than just putting on a pretty face.

Social media’s such a weird world for me. I love it — I’m grateful for the idea that we can have a direct relationship with our fans. But it’s kind of a double-edged sword. It’s such an open platform for everybody to criticize everything about you. And when you go there, you’re going to see that. I think that’s true for everybody. It doesn’t matter if you’re a celebrity or not. It’s just a place where people don’t have to show their face to say things, and there’s a lot of ugly out there.

What’s your relationship specifically with fanworks? Do people send you things that were inspired by you?

Oh my god, it’s so wonderful. We’ve got so much art. I’ve got this huge collection of stuff that I’ve been hanging on to just from the beginning. There are so many talented people out there that pour their efforts into making a piece of visual art that is either of something in the Evanescence world or just something else that came out of them while they were listening to our music.

Then there are other things that you have to keep because they’re so hilariously funny. People will make a crazy poem that makes totally no sense but I’m a character within it, which is awesome. It’s like, I know this person’s like 12 years old and totally sincere, but this is so funny. I have a little studio, and I dedicated a little bit of time during our unexpected free time to cover it wall-to-wall in the bathroom with all the fan stuff.

Which brings me to my next question: had you ever heard of My Immortal?

I think for quite a while I was just unaware of it. And then my cynical, Reddit-loving younger sister who’s also an English teacher, somewhere during the holiday every year when the family’s all together, it’ll come up for some reason. And she’s like, “Wait — you still haven’t read My Immortal?” And I’m like, “No, what do you mean?” She’s like, “You have to. Okay, hold on. Let me read you an excerpt.” And then she’ll pull up her phone and read some awesome paragraph from the craziest, funniest thing ever that makes no sense.

It’s one of her favorite things that she thinks is the most hilarious thing in the world, and I still just kept not reading it. It’s been kind of this ongoing joke with us. And then I got a call a few days ago that you wanted to talk about it, so I was like, “Oh, crap. I have to read a little bit of it.”

I read I think not quite half of it, but it did have me in tears. I was laughing really, really hard at one point, just because of the nonsense. And then I started asking myself, is this real? I can’t quite tell. I’m totally undecided. Is it sincere? I feel like it started maybe as sincere, but they got in on it and started playing it up for the haters. I can’t tell! What do you think?

It would have to be so elaborate, but there are a bunch of cases that really make it seem like this person knows much, much more than the character they’re putting on.

I noticed a misspelling that was like, instead of triumphantly, it was “triumelephantly.” And I was like, come on, you don’t think “elephant” is inside “triumphant.” There’s no way.

At one point, the main character’s name is spelled two different ways within three words of each other.

I totally saw that, too! I’m torn because I want it to be sincere, kind of... but I don’t know.

There are things about it that aren’t cool to talk about. Like it’s not funny to talk about slitting your wrists. So it takes me a second to get past that joke, which is so recurring.

Yeah, if you go back to old internet culture, a lot of it is really ugly. And it’s weird trying to separate that stuff out.

Is it better now?

I don’t know because now I’m too old to know what’s going on. But kids do seem nicer. They often seem nicer.

I would like to believe we’ve grown up a little bit as a society from that. Maybe everybody having a little bit more of a microphone has taught us some things that we need to be aware of that are outside of our perception and our personal experiences. There are other people that are seeing that in a different way. I think it would be cool if that’s true.

I was a teenager around when My Immortal came out, and it feels like it describes a very recognizable “goths versus preps” rivalry. Did you feel that?

I think this thing is poking fun at that world — I mean it would have to be, come on — and that part of it really resonates with me in a real way. But I didn’t consider myself goth! Part of what’s weird and funny is like okay, this is describing hating the preps, and you’re the cool one, you’re the underground, you understand real life and the gravity of death, and I get it. But if you’re so depressed and everything’s so hard and you’re so real and they’re so fake, why do you put so much effort into your look?

That was what always turned me off about the word “goth” when that started being assigned to me in our early days. If I was 15 years old and you’d asked me what I was, I’m grunge. I buy all my clothes at garage sales, I don’t do crap to my look, I get ready two seconds before school, and all the preps are the ones who put all their focus on their looks and what party they’re going to go to.

But yeah, that part was funny to me. That part existed.

I love the idea of you knowing about this thing for years without having read it.

I kind of want to thank you because I did get a really good laugh out of it last night. It’s not like, when I have free time, I’m motivated to go read some horribly bad thing. But it’s actually pretty interesting.

And you’ve gotta love all the characters breaking into song to sing My Chemical Romance songs. It’s pretty great.

[animegenork]

Fruits Basket Season 2 Episodes 21-25

So obviously life happened and I never finished out season 2 with my not-so-reflective analyses of the Fruits Basket episodes. Well, season 3 has officially started (and this is the one time in my life I waited for the sub before watching it) and it’s about damn time I did this.

Hold on to your pants--

Episode 21

I would like to make it very clear that Baby Yuki is Baby and most be protected at all costs. With that in mind, let’s begin.

The episode starts with Yuki meeting Akito for the first time, back before he became a mess and way before he ever met Tohru. There is already an internal conflict here with what he wants versus what the zodiac spirit wants, and that is to see Akito. Due to the “God” role Akito plays, Yuki wants to see Akito... but Yuki himself knows deep down that he does not.

We see Yuki spending more and more time with Akito, which makes sense, since we’ve known for a while that they were “friends” of the childhood sort. Perhaps new information is Shigure comforting Akito whenever he was upset, but that’s not important to the storyline at hand. Everything was all fine and dandy until, Yuki notes, Akito became twisted.

This is where it starts to get bad for Yuki.

Sometime during the latest tantrum, Akito begins turning his inward self-hatred to Yuki, telling him that the Rat is hated and no one wants him. Of course, we’ve seen similar poison towards Kyo, and frankly, I’ve always loved this juxtaposition toward them. Kyo and Yuki’s zodiac spirits are hated in similar ways, and while they hate each other superficially because of this, they also hate themselves more than anyone else. Both of them have remained on the “fringes” of things for most of their entire lives, which is probably why we get to see more of them than really any other zodiac member.

Naturally, this causes young Yuki to seek Kyo out when he hears about someone else who’s on the outside looking in. They meet, and Yuki’s all gung ho to try to make a friend. Unfortunately, Kyo has seen his own shit and is convinced Yuki is to blame for his suffering. So he tells Yuki he should just disappear from this world.

[A moment to cry over Baby Yuki’s expression. *sob*]

As most children do when faced with something awful like that, Yuki goes to his mother for comfort. Instead, she slaps him. (I just really hate her.) This leads into a scene of Akito spouting his usual poison at Yuki, brainwashing him into thinking everything is hopeless and bleak and that he’d be better off not going outside (to paraphrase). It doesn’t help that when he reaches out to his brother, or to anyone else really, he’s rejected. So, really, it’s no wonder he became such a mess, when the whole world has been working against him from the beginning.

Following this, we get to see Yuki going to school and attempting normalcy, even making some friends. Of course, we all know how that turns out, because Yuki has told us before: his friends’ memories were erased when his curse was revealed. Props to Hatori, I guess, for not succumbing to Baby Yuki’s cuteness when he begged the older boy not to do it.

Yuki reveals, in another interaction with Kyo in which our resident cat boy refuses to take back his hat because Yuki touched it (while I can’t blame him, I’ll always be a little mad at Kyo), that he really just wanted a home. A place where he was happy. Even Kyo had friends and a foster father, despite any verbal abuse launched his way.

When he falls ill, Akito tells Yuki more about Kyo, heartbroken over the loss of his mother and swearing that he’ll kill the Rat and make amends. If possible, Yuki falls into a greater despair and decides to run away, donning the hat that once belonged to Kyo. In a way, this is where we see Yuki’s selfless side, which has always been there--he ran away in order to alleviate some of Kyo’s sadness, which he believes he caused.

GIVE. THIS BOY. A HUG.

So he runs and runs until he finds a woman talking to the police. Her daughter is lost. Now, obviously this is Kyoko--who else could it be--but Yuki doesn’t know that. However, he had seen a little girl crying somewhere and went to find her again. The girl, our lovely Tohru, follows him when he tries to go find Kyoko again to tell her, so he begins to lead her home. When they get there, before they can meet or hug or anything that would put her in danger, he gives her the hat and runs away.

Thus endeth the story of Tohru’s “prince.”

In some ways, this one event helped alleviate some of Yuki’s pain. He was useless and needed. He’d helped someone feel better. That can be the best feeling in the world for someone like Yuki.

Now, the funniest part about all this is Yuki was caught up in a memory. He’s not telling Kakeru any of this. Kakeru himself is a little weird, so he’s not terribly surprised. Yuki finally explains that he met Tohru once and didn’t realize that he had until sometime after they met again. Through her influence, Yuki decided to perservere, as he says, and keep trying to live for himself. Unfortunately, Akito’s influence is strong as well. He became twisted once more.

Poor Yuki. All this time, he wanted that stupid Cat to be his friend. That is one of the most interesting revelations, I think, that we ever see in Fruits Basket. I don’t think we ever find out if Kyo feels similarly, but the fact that Yuki, the one always insulting Kyo, just wanted to be friends is him, is somehow mind-blowing.

Then in comes Tohru again. She was there for him, time and time again. “She accepted me time and time again.” And really, that was all he ever wanted. To be accepted. To have someone care and give a shit. “Like how the sky feels so close, yet so far.”

“Like a mother.”

So, yes, folks, that’s the truth of it: Yuki sees Tohru as the mother he never had. I feel like for some this isn’t the type of truth you ever wanted to see, but here’s the important part to remember: for Yuki, romance wasn’t entirely important. He needed a parent. Someone to care for him. And Tohru gave him that time and time again. Perhaps, at one point, his feelings skewed toward the romantic, but over time, he realized that Tohru wasn’t that for him. She was something he needed much more.

Kyo has his father. Yuki has his Tohru.

And that’s all I’m going to say on that. Because the rest is a matter of what you think.

Episode 22

Y’all forgive me it’s so hard to find gifs months after the episodes air a;lsjdkf;ajsdfas this gif is NOT mine

Hi, I love Kyo.

Anyway.

We pick up right where we left off with the series-changing revelation that Yuki considers Tohru to be his mother. Kakeru is the voice of “lol what do you mean she’s our age”. Yuki explains that he’d always yearned for a parent’s love (haha it’s like I knew that) and valued Tohru’s care so much that it just seemed natural to consider her that way. His inner monologue realizes that’s what Rin was looking for, too.

And like I said before, it takes him a while to realize this is the particular feeling he had prescribed to Tohru. It started when she went after Kyo, the night we see his true form. Of course, as with all the zodiac members, he probably hadn’t been able to put voice to the feeling just yet. It happens. But he even admits that he tried to be romantic with her, but eventually, it just felt too wrong to do. I get it, since I have a friend I consider my father, and when people told us we looked like a couple, we were grossed out beyond belief. So yeah. Makes sense.

Kakeru goes, “Well people look for romance with people like their mom all the time.” First of all, Kakeru, Tohru is nothing like Yuki’s mother. Okay. Second of all, Yuki clarifies that he doesn’t see her as a woman. But Kyo does. The Cat always knew how he felt about her. And you can see the same feeling radiating from Tohru.

*sobs* Okay. Sorry.

Yuki resolves to live on, spurred on by Tohru’s encouragement and love. Kakeru responds by throwing a soccer ball at his face.

I’ve mentioned before I love their relationship, right?

Shenanigans ensue, and Yuki says he might be able to tell Tohru precisely what he told Kakeru, but not right now.

BACK TO THE PLAY! Tohru is attempting to memorize her lines, and Shigure finds out Kyo is the Prince. This angers Kyo, naturally, because no way in hell does he want that Dog to embarrass him. He confiscates Tohru’s script (I cackled at this part) and tells her not to tell Shisho (but she obviously did already). Basically, we get some unintentional flirting between these two until Yuki cuts in using the classic Fruits Basket slapstick.

Yuki tells Kyo that Tohru has the hat in a moment of just sheer understanding passing between them, and Kyo goes to his room to sulk. Cuz Kyo.

A lot of what happens next is pretty self-explanatory: Ayame is Ayame, Yuki is the resigned brother, Tohru can’t play an evil stepsister to save her life, yada yada. The class eventually decides to rewrite the play because obviously a non-evil stepsister ain’t gonna work. Kyo is nowhere to be found. Tohru offers to find him, but Yuki takes over.

Ah, yes. The classic.

Here we see a classic rival clash, but it’s not physical. It’s verbal. Yuki’s very good at putting on a certain face in front of Kyo, but it’s always when Kyo needs it most. Kyo yells that Yuki has his parents. He’s loved and praised. What it all boils down to is that Kyo doesn’t think he’s worthy of being a prince. That’s always been Yuki’s crown to wear. It’s a case of the simplest thing triggering a much deeper emotion. Kyo claims Yuki doesn’t understand, but we all know that’s not the case at all. Yuki understands all too well. So Yuki asks if he really wants to achieve this impossible thing (defeating the Rat), if he really wants to not have anyone to hate.

Kyo punches a window.

We have a brief scene of Machi coming by and saying something about Yuki not being a prince. While the other classmate with her is appalled, Yuki is just stunned. Because that’s probably exactly what he’s wanted to hear all these years. (Go Machi!)

Returning to the classroom, Kyo finds the ever-cheerful Tohru with the revised Cinderella. As she babbles about how he’ll probably be able to do the play better this time around, he reflects on Yuki finding him sulking. Tohru notices his injured hand, and he just leans on her. He’s very good at this, I’ve noticed. The leaning. Makes my heart pound every time. And clearly, it worked on Tohru, too.

Kyo tells her she better not laugh at his performance, and they go home.

And scene.

Episode 23

To be frank, this episode doesn’t need much analysis. It’s mostly comedy and shenanigans and everything one could love about Fruits Basket.

Also, woof. Kyo with long hair.

We’ve got a narrator telling the classic Cinderella while the play goes in an entirely different direction. Cinderella Hanajima loves her Stepsister Tohru deeply but fears the prince taking her away. (Oh wait this is an allegory or something isn’t it.)

Flash forward to the ball, Prince Kyo wants nothing to do with all of this, and Buddy Uotani is telling him to get the hell up. Kyo doesn’t budge, refusing to dance with anyone, until, of course, Tohru approaches. He wigs out, because that’s what Kyo does, and tries to call her back. It’s almost like he forgets this is a play or something as he deflates from rejecting Tohru.

Cinderella arrives, she and Kyo clash, she leaves, wishing she’d eaten more meat. Naturally, a glass slipper is left behind. Kyo says he doesn’t really want to go find the girl, and Uotani begins the second most important scene of the episode.

With passionate urging, Uotani tells Kyo not to waste this chance to see her, saying that some people don’t get to see the people they want to. Then she screams, “COME SEE ME, DAMMIT” and we all know that’s aimed at Kureno.

We got to the classic glass slipper scene, and Hanajima enters and pulls quite the badass move. She asks Kyo if he plans on deceiving himself forever and keeping himself locked away. Most of the audience doesn’t really know that she’s referring to his feelings for Tohru and, to us the viewer, the way he’s going to willingly give up his freedom after high school ends.

Kyo: “So what if I do? Does that hurt anyone else?”

Tohru knows precisely what conversation is happening, and she starts to say that she doesn’t want to lose him. But, being Tohru, she’s not quite able to put it into words. But Kyo picks up on this, and he’s taken off guard. He’s an idiot, not picking up on her feelings for him in their entirety despite all the hints thrown his way. Even Momiji and Kisa know what’s going on here.

Awkwardness ensues, Yuki swoops in and tells Kyo to make his wish come true on his own in a classic “Broheim you better FUGGIN do it YOU HEAR ME” way.

The play ends, we see Shisho, Kyo tells him not to get married (because Hanajima is swooping in), and we find out Haru told him about the play. Obligatory reference to shirtless Kyo. Shisho picks up on Kyo’s conflicted feelings about Tohru while Kyo tells himself Tohru probably wasn’t trying to say what he thought she was.

Shenanigans ensue again, this time with Haru and Hiro, which is pretty funny, and then we check in on Yuki and Kakeru, who see Machi getting bullied. Petty girls being petty about a girl who’s not petty. How petty. Machi makes it clear that she thinks Yuki’s an airhead (which hits him like a brick LOLLLL) and then she says he seems lonely. That gives him pause, because she picked up on the one thing no one else at the school (besides other Sohmas and Tohru) have picked up on. She’s amazing like that.

BACK TO KYO I LOVE HIM. He meets up with Tohru and they start walking together. At the exact same time, they tell themselves that it couldn’t be, the other doesn’t have feelings for them. “I won’t let myself think it.”

And they break their own hearts in the process.

Pardon me, I have to sob again.

Episode 24

Once again, the gif is not mine. Apologies, y’all, I’m bad at this.

MACHI TIME!

The student council is going out to party--er, not really party, but just have lunch, I guess. Machi doesn’t really want to come, and Yuki tries to get her opinion on things so they can make everything more amenable. She tells him he doesn’t need to make such a fuss, that her opinions aren’t his concern. He says she’s right, and that he just wants to see the world through her eyes.

Does he REALIZE when he does that??? Probably not.

Anyway, everyone goes home, Yuki and Kakeru are THEM at its finest, and Machi goes home. Her mother calls, and we see a little bit of her past, where her mother pressured her to be better than Kakeru at everything. This suppressed her personality to a point of what her mother calls dullness. And Machi agrees. She knows she’s dull, that she struggled to make people happy, only to be abandoned and left an empty shell. 

She then reflects on how Yuki’s changed. Even when he smiled before, it seemed lonely, not genuine. But now he’s changing to smile for real. While he’s changed, she’s remained stagnant.

Machi ends up going to the student council gathering, reflecting on how she’s not sure if she means something to the world. She’s stopped in her tracks by Yuki calling out to her, saying he’s glad she came. And she drops everything.

What happens next is typical rom com. Yuki notices she kept the maple leaf and says he’s happy, Machi yells that there wasn’t any special reason behind her keeping it. Understandably, Yuki is confused. Kakeru makes her embarrassment worse by popping in, but it’s a cute moment, because Yuki finally gets the answer to the question, “What’s your favorite color?” Because of course he remembered.

We cut over to Tohru, who’s staying with Shisho for New Year’s so she’s not lonely. Good call on the part of the Sohmas. Yuki and Shigure really just didn’t want to leave Kyo alone with Tohru, which is funny in itself since Kyo is a harmless kitty, but alas.

But they’re not alone with Shisho; Rin’s there! And Tohru goes in for a hug only to splat against the wall. Poor thing. We find out Rin and Kyo don’t exactly like each other, but they don’t dislike each other either. Very confusing, but I don’t question it.

We cut over to the banquet and a riveting shot of Hatori (fanservice for Hatori’s fanclub hehehehe) and we get some Ayame and Shigure shenanigans. I love them dearly, ridiculous as they are. We see Akito try to do the thing with Yuki again, saying he forgives him for his transgressions, and Yuki just says that he forgives Akito as well. He’s tired of blaming others, sick of it. He needs to move so he can change.

Akito sees something in his eyes, and she has a flashback to something involving Kureno. So he attacks, demanding Yuki apologize. The rest of the zodiac is stunned and confused. Ayame mobilizes to get Yuki some medical attention, and Hatori helps him out. Yuki takes a moment to apologize for blaming Hatori all those years for what happened when he was a kid. We see that Hatori felt indebted to Yuki for that as well and had resolved to keep an eye on him. They have a brotherly moment.

We see Tohru resolve to wish for the curse to be broken this year, and Momiji gives Kureno the DVD of the play where Uotani yells for him to see her. Haru goes to see Rin, who’s fallen asleep. Overall, Tohru says, she wishes for change.

Dun dun dun.

Episode 25

The plot thickens.

So we start off with Kureno and Akito, where Akito feels kinda sick after the episode with Yuki (episode as in incident, not---anyway). Kureno promises to stay by his side, and we immediately cut to Uo still missing him, but not saying so in so many words.

Tohru reflects on what happened during New Year’s, including Yuki coming back with a bandage on his forehead. He explains that he stood up to Akito, and he asks her if she thinks he did a good job. Now he’s just milking the mom thing, but she doesn’t seem to notice as she says yes.

Back to the present, we see that Shigure and Akito are fighting. He says something snarky about how Akito’s the one who’s always with Kureno, and Hatori treats this like it’s a childish argument. It is. Because Shigure’s a bit of a child. But it’s a bit deeper than that. They discuss how Kureno feels different than the rest of the zodiac, but they don’t say exactly what it is. That’s for later.

Kureno watches the DVD of the play, and he struggles with his feelings for Uo and his loyalty to Akito. He calls Shigure’s house and gets Shigure, and then we see Tohru come home and go right back out for an errand. She ends up at a park and sees some sparrows (AH YES, THE SYMBOLISM), and Kureno walks over to her, causing the sparrows to fly away.

What’s important here is to remember that members of the zodiac attract the animal they have the spirit of. We see it most often with Kyo and the cats. So why is Kureno chasing away the sparrows, the bird he turned into? Even Tohru is confused, until he hugs her and nothing happens.

That is to say, his curse is broken.

Kureno explains that he’s not sure how it happened--which disappoints Tohru, considering her quest to break the curse--only that it did. Now he’s resolved to stay by Akito’s side, meaning he can’t see Uotani anymore. He tries, unsuccessfully, to make himself feel better by saying that he doesn’t need to see her--their meetings were flukes. Then Tohru puts her hand on his face, and he admits that he fell in love with Uo.

And thus, we reach the crux of Kureno’s conflict: he’s free to do whatever he wants now, but because of that, he needs to stay by Akito’s side. And really, it’s because he can’t stand to see that child cry again over an ancient bond. He needs to be there for Akito, so that he can always be there and never abandon “that sorrowful girl.”

Tohru is shocked, and yet something seems to fall into place when she realizes Akito is a girl.

And that’s where the season ends.

~ ~ ~

That was a long boy, so sorry about that, folks! Now I’m off to finally watch the first episode of the new season! See y’all next time!