#but that might be because i kept reporting it as incorrect

[fioreofthemarch]

Finding Her - Chapter 18

Link makes notes, takes photos and keeps time on his quest across Hyrule, in the hopes of finding Zelda and staying sane until he does. [ Previous | Next | First | AO3 ]

Warning: The Purah Pad has exceeded maximum operational vertical speed. The Purah Pad is not rated for a descent rate of more than 3000 feet per minute.

<&lt; HARD STOP DETECTED >>

<< EMERGENCY LOCKDOWN INITIATED >>

Would you like to continue operating the Purah Pad?

> Yes

Please enter extreme conditions authorisation code Core functions shutdown in 13… 12… 11… 

> LINK

Incorrect code. Core functions shutdown in 9… 8… 7…

> I HAVE TAKEN THE PURAH PAD FROM THE HERO ALLOW ME TO USE IT 

Incorrect code.Core functions shutdown in 5… 4… 3…

> INFERNAL DEVICE DO AS I SAY!

Incorrect code. The Purah Pad has entered an emergency lockdown. Next passcode attempt in: 999 minutes

---

Log date: 12:05 9th month, 12th day 104AC Location: Lookout Landing Weather: Cloudy

The Hero of Hyrule is famous for his bravery and his strength, but even he sometimes has a bad week. This morning, the swordsman Link arrived on our doorstep looking worse for wear. His hair was muddied, his clothes were torn, and he was covered in cuts and bruises. We had not heard from him for nine days. In this report, I, Josha (Head of Depths Research) will piece together what we know about Link’s disappearance. 

The Purah Pad logs show that nine days ago, it was dropped from a significant height. This is because an overspeed warning was triggered, followed by an emergency lockdown approximately ten minutes later. Additionally, the last log entry is partly corrupted and overwritten in code. This may occur when the save function is interrupted. Finally, anecdotal evidence supports this theory. When Link arrived at Lookout Landing, he handed the Purah Pad to Dr. Purah and said, “Might have dropped it”. Taken together, it is clear the Purah Pad fell a significant distance, however where it was dropped was a mystery - until now. 

A series of notes found in Link’s inventory may provide clues to his whereabouts for the past nine days. These notes are short and each ends with the words ‘Glory to Master Kohga’. The paper the notes are written on is marked with a red, upside down Sheikah eye. This indicates that the authors of these notes are none other than the Yiga, who moved to the Depths of Hyrule four years ago, after the defeat of Master Kohga by Link. Therefore, the only place Link could have collected these notes would be the Depths themselves. 

The notes have been scanned using this Purah Pad, which belongs to Link. This is because I am, apparently, not yet old enough to have one of my own. The Yiga appear to have taken the Purah Pad from Link, and write in the notes that he is following them. Therefore, we theorise that the Purah Pad was dropped into a chasm where it was stolen by the Yiga, and then was retrieved by Link at a later point. My next report will attempt to reconstruct how Link was able to escape and return to us. 

A photograph of Mineru, the Zonai Construct, helping one of the residents of Lookout Landing repair the roof of his mini-stable. 

Caption: This construct is also here. It arrived about a day before Link returned. I must go introduce myself! 

---

Appendix A: Salvaged Yiga Notes 1-4 of 8. 

Yiga Note 1 A day for the history books! The Purah Pad has been won from the villain, Link. Our scouts on the perimeter reported seeing him fall through the nearby Naydra Chasm. They say he appeared to be reaching out for something as he fell. 

Unfortunately for him he fell into a frox den. While he was dealing with that, we pounced. At last, the Sheikah technology that was kept from us for millennia is ours! 

We are using our network to transport the Purah Pad north, to the Abandoned Lanayru Mine, so that our Master can unlock it… and its secrets. 

Glory to Master Kohga. 

Yiga Note 2 The Purah Pad has been delivered to the Ploymus Canyon Hideout. Tomorrow, four of our field agents will take it north-west to our Master.  

Now we turn our attention to the hunt. There is a situation unfolding that must be dealt with.

The Hero has been spotted on our trail. Each time we think we have lost him, he finds us again. We are unable to remain in the shadows. He keeps activating those damned light roots…

We will find him and stop him in his tracks. 

Glory to Master Kohga. 

Yiga Note 3 Finally, shelter. We have not slept in days, but we cannot stop moving. Link gains on us with each passing hour. He wants that useless Sheikah device back, clearly. If only we could get it to work…

There are whispers that our hideouts have begun to go dark. Each one that we pass through cuts off all communication within a day. We have also heard reports of a blaze, a large one. But surely, one Hylian could not do that much damage.

The others are getting worried, but not me.

Glory to Master Kohga. 

Yiga Note 4 To any Yiga who finds this note. Do not engage the Hero under any circumstances. 

Shortly after we delivered the Purah Pad to Master Kohga, the Hero arrived to exact his revenge. The weapon he carried shone as bright and terrible as the midday sky. How he survived this long in the Depths is beyond me. 

Praise Ganon - we managed to hold onto the Purah Pad, and our Master survived the encounter. We have taken him to a secret location in Hebra, far from Link’s reach. Without the Purah Pad, he will be trapped in this part of the Depths. 

Or so we hope.

Glory to Master Kohga. 

---

Log date: 17:45 9th month, 12th day 104AC Location: Lookout Landing Weather: Light rain

In stories told of heroes, it is said that their chief goal is victory in battle. However for real people, victory doesn’t always get them what they want. The swordsman Link is still recovering. He has a fever from an untreated cut, but Lady Jerrin is looking after him. In this report, I will… well, I was planning to write about Link’s escape from the Depths, but now I’m not sure. 

The final four Yiga notes tell a simple story. Link tracked down the Purah Pad and went in search of Master Kohga. Except it’s not clear if Link defeated him. It’s really important that we find out. Master Kohga is our oldest enemy, except for maybe Ganon himself. But no one in Lookout Landing is talking about it. They’re not even talking about the Demon King anymore. So I went to visit Link to find out what happened. 

He was only half awake and seemed whoozy. I said, Hi swordsman, it’s Josha. Sorry you were stuck down in the Depths so long. I wasn’t sure if he heard. He was mumbling to himself but the only words I could make out were: gone, gone, gone. I said yes, Master Kohga is gone, right? Then he had a moment of clarity. It was scary. He looked me in the eye and said, “Who cares about Kohga?”

I don’t know. I care. Someone should. Kohga tormented my people for over a century. And the Yiga have rebelled against Hyrule for even longer than that. Shouldn’t we care? But something else is going on, isn’t it? Something that a kid isn’t going to get told about. 

I’ve attached the final Yiga notes to this log, whoever reads this can look at them if they want, I guess. Link definitely gave the Yiga a hard time when he was down there. I wish I could have helped. 

A photograph of Mineru, the Zonai Construct, being doted on by Slergo and Offrak, two Goron children. One child is swinging off of one of her arms, while another has climbed onto her back. Whether the construct is enjoying this, or is merely tolerating it, is not possible to determine. 

Caption: Her name is Mineru. I really should introduce myself. Maybe later. 

---

Appendix B: Salvaged Yiga Notes 5-8 of 8. 

Yiga Note 5 To all Yiga, living or dead. Remember me?

Tell your Master: I will find where he is hiding. Even if I have to search every single one of your little outposts. 

It’s been less than a week but I’ve sacked more of them than I care to remember. At least more than than I can count on both hands, since you stole my only other way of taking notes. 

You think I’m trapped down here with you. No. You’re trapped down here with me. And I’m not leaving without my Purah Pad. 

Glory to Master Kohga. However much he has left. 

Yiga Note 6 Terrible news. We have lost the Purah Pad. It pains me to write of this failure. 

It was Master Kohga’s decree that we keep the Purah Pad moving through our network, rather than hold it in one place. That way, we would reduce the chance of Link finding it… but that didn’t stop him. 

He tracked us to the Elma Knolls hideout. We threw everything we had at him. Every Zonai contraption he neutralised, every footsoldier he struck down. Then our hideout was on fire. I don’t even know how he started it. 

In the panic, the idiot Battlemaster in charge of the Purah Pad dropped it! That was all it took. Link snatched it back, unlocked it (something even Master Kohga could not do!) and teleported away. 

He was gone in an instant, to Ganon knows where.

So much for our victory. 

Glory to Master Kohga. 

Yiga Note 7 I hate to admit it, but we are getting nervous. 

It has been two days since anyone in our network has sighted the menace, Link. 

Our agents above ground have not seen him. None in the Depths have been able to recover anything. Link and the Purah Pad have vanished. 

Reports indicate that our leader is safe and sound, but with no news of Link, we must take precautions.

We have dispatched scouts to Hebra, just to make sure.

Glory to Master Kohga.

Yiga note 8 ALL AGENTS BE ADVISED: THIS IS AN URGENT CIRCULAR. 

Any agents in Hebra must immediately report if they have seen Link, otherwise known as the Hero of Hyrule, the Princess’ Appointed Knight, or other alias such as ‘the demon’, ‘the villain’ and ‘the blond menace’

Contact has been lost with the Abandoned Hebra Mine Hideout. REPEAT: contact has been lost with the Abandoned Hebra Mine Hideout. This was Master Kohga’s last known location and was the site of top secret research and development. 

Contact your local hideout if you have any and all leads. Do so as soon as possible or the worst may come to pass.  

Glory to Master Kohga. 

---

Log date: 10:00 9th month, 13th day 104AC Location: Lookout Landing Weather: Cloud clearing. 

I went to see Link again. He was awake and sitting up in one of the beds in the Emergency Shelter. Jerrin says his fever has passed, which is good. He didn’t even remember me visiting yesterday and apologised if he said anything weird. I lied and told him he didn’t. 

Since he was feeling better, I asked him again what happened to Master Kohga. Link explained to me that he survived for nine days in the Depths on nothing but mushrooms and moss, with no gear except his clothes and the Master Sword on his back. Eventually, he fought Master Kohga in an abandoned mine below Hebra. Kohga tried to use a big Zonai construct, like Mineru, but it didn’t work, and now he’s gone. I don’t know if Link means he’s dead or something. He just said that Kohga won’t be troubling us anymore. 

Great news, right? Link didn’t seem that excited. He just said, “Is it?” I answered that I thought it was. “But I feel nothing,” he said. And then he started crying. Like, crying crying. 

I was dumbstruck. Ever since the whole Upheaval thing, you’d think more people would be crying, but everyone’s been soldiering on. I thought, what did my parents do, the last time I was really upset? All I could remember was my mother putting her arms around me, so that’s what I did. I put my arm around Link’s shoulder and hugged him tight. I thought maybe you just have to squeeze the tears out of a person until they feel better. But…

She’s gone, he kept saying. She’s gone. I asked who he meant, was it Zelda? That did NOT help. He cried harder, but with no sounds now, just tears and shakes. So we sat there for a long time, until Jerrin noticed what was happening and chased me away, telling me to let Link sleep.  

So now I’m here, outside the shelter, feeling useless and very sad, and not really knowing why. It sucks. This whole situation just kind of sucks. I don’t know what to do… but maybe it’ll come to me later.

A photograph of Mineru, sitting on the steps leading to Josha’s research station on Lookout Landing. She is looking directly at the camera, and is waving. 

Caption: Oh shoot. I think she noticed. 

---

Incoming message… [MINERU (UNKNOWN)] Processing…

Connection established.

10:15 MIN| Hello there, Josha. My name is Mineru.  

10:15 JSH|Hello. Sorry about the photo.

10:15 MIN| Do not worry.  It is flattering. 

10:15 JSH| I see. Did you want to talk?

10:16 MIN| I prefer using the Purah Pad. Sending messages via text is simpler.  

10:16 JSH| Quieter too, I guess.

10:16 MIN| Yes. Everyone is nervous about Link. I thought it better to stay discreet. 

10:16 JSH| Yeah. Hey one moment, I’ll join you.

10:16 MIN| Be my guest. 

10:19 MIN| Is it not a pleasant view from these stairs? You can watch everyone in Lookout Landing go about their day. 

10:19 JSH| I’m usually focused on my research. Not that it’s helped much lately.

10:19 MIN| I understand the feeling. I was once much the same. 

10:19 JSH| You were a researcher?

10:19 MIN| Many years ago. Zelda and I shared this interest. Did you know her? 

10:21 JSH| Oh, not personally. I grew up hearing about her, everyone did. It helped knowing the Princess was once like me. I might have been a weirdo book nerd, but I could be a scholar, just like Zelda. She’s the reason I’m a researcher.

10:24 JSH| I wish someone would tell me what happened to her. I asked Link but he got pretty upset about it. So stupid…

10:24 MIN| Your actions were not stupid. Curiosity is natural.

10:24 JSH| You should have heard him. It was like Zelda had died. But that can’t be it, can it?

10:25 MIN| Your elders have forbidden me from telling you much but… Princess Zelda indeed still lives. Unfortunately, it is no longer in a way that she can share with us. 

10:26 JSH| That’s terrible. Poor Princess… I wish I could help somehow. Link survived the Depths fine on his own, so my research was all for nothing.

10:26 MIN| Your presence was not ‘all for nothing’. You were there for him. You helped him through that dark and terrible moment. 

10:27 JSH| I made him cry.

10:27 MIN| Not all tears are bad. Often they are the first step on a long journey of acceptance and peace.

10:29 JSH| I suppose when you put it like that. Mineru, is Zelda really gone?

10:29 MIN| I do not know. Time will tell. But we honour her memory by protecting her beloved Hyrule. Speaking of, it’s time we recalled the Sages to Lookout Landing. They each have a message medallion, but someone has to make the calls. Someone with a voice. 

10:30 JSH| Do you mean…me…? Well, say no more! Josha, Head Assistant to the Five Sages of Hyrule, at your service!

10:30 MIN| It is very much appreciated, Josha. When you are ready, we can get to work. 

Connection terminated.

[chaifootsteps]

Not sure if you even wanted an update on the yandere dev situation but I'm giving it more as a warning to some...more unhinged Viv haters (not you Chai ily). Allegedly, according to the victim–it's alleged bc multiple ppl have made fake accounts pretending to be her and now it's confusing on which one is really her–the investigation has been delayed. Because people kept on making police reports, either with very little or incorrect details, now the police have to go over each and every report made which is REALLY slowing everything down and is actually making things worse. Had people just waited for her to make the report in the summer like she wanted and was going to, because let's remember she's 16 and in school, it'd have been taken care of much sooner. Now because of people taking it into their own hands and not asking the victim, this entire thing will be dragged out.

People with "good intentions" have actively delayed this case when if they had waited for what the victim wanted, the results everyone wanted would have been reached sooner. I just want everyone to know that bc I fear a similar thing can happen to viv. Let the victims handle the situation and give them your support. Just because they're not doing anything this moment doesn't mean they never will. Don't take it upon yourself.

This. I can't stress this enough.

As frustrating as it might be to feel like nothing's happening and Vivzie's just getting away with it, I promise there are more things going on behind the scenes than we know about. Nothing good or helpful has ever come of people trying to take aggressive measures, so just let nature take its course and remember that no one sabotages Vivzie like Vivzie.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Great addition! Also:

Although they sound similar, "would of" is incorrect. It is a misspelling of "would have". It doesn’t exist as grammatically correct phrase in English. Some people erroneously write would of instead of would have because that is how people pronounce the phrase in informal speech. When you contract would have to would’ve, it sounds similar to would of, so it’s an easy mistake to make.

Found this great article on the topic too:

"Of" is usually a preposition, but also may function as a verb, typically when used as a substitution for "have", as in ‘I could of written it correct, but wanted to see what you’d say if I didn’t.’

The reason for why of came to be used for have is that the latter word (and even more so its contracted form, seen in could’ve, should’ve, would’ve) is unstressed when spoken. There is very little phonetic difference between “I could’ve paid attention in English class” and “I could of paid attention in English class.” The spoken version of this is far more common than the written one, but there is considerable evidence of both.

This use, it should be noted, is widely shunned by usage guides, schoolteachers, people who send you annoying articles on social media about the declining state of education today, and well-nigh everyone else. So why do we define it? Because of that considerable evidence mentioned in the last paragraph.

A scouting report written by Captain Isaac Beall during the Revolutionary War contains a couple of our earlier instances of the word used in this fashion, illustrating that of, while not terribly common in writing at that time, has been with us for well over two hundred years now.

I was inform’d by a Capt’n of Molitia that about Two Hundred would be Imbodyed by Mondy Nite a plenty of Good Pilets are amongs them—if I could of been join’d by a party of the Molitia which I apply’d for I would of attacted the body that lay in the English Nabourhood, I had not a guid nor could Get non tell the Next day. —Isaac Beall, Letter to Adam Stephen, 20 Apr. 1777

The verb form of of begins to show up in print more often in the 19th century, generally when an author is attempting to replicate the speech of an uneducated person.

There lay the poor boy, dead enough: and all the doctors in Philadelphia couldn’t of been of no manner of service, so there warn’t any use in snivering and chafing. —Jabez Rankin, Spirit of the Times, 26 Dec. 1840 Now, old fellow, you might of heard that we like to have got into a war with the British about some boundary or other. —Portsmouth Journal of Literature and Politics, 5 Aug. 1843 The old man’s heart promptly quailed. He stood dumfounded and forgot Mandy and the other man’s wife in the face of his new foe. “If I’d of known it was you,” he said, “I wouldn’t of done it.” —The San Diego Union and Daily Bee, 3 Apr. 1893

The use appears to have been common enough that it was lampooned in an article in the late 19th century, along with questionable uses of the past tense of to do.

Possible past tense of verb done. Singular—I might, could, would or should of jest plumb done gone and done it. —The State (Columbia, SC), 16 Jul. 1893

There are many examples of prominent authors in the 20th century using forms such as could of, typically when rendered as dialogue.

I could of ended marrying the boy, and moving, and being killed, I think, as a punishment … I understand it. —David Mamet, A Scene-Australia (from No One Will Be Immune), 1994 Sure, I could of let you die, but I didn’t. Naw, I kept you with me—off and on. —Langston Hughes, Soul Gone Home (in The Collected Works of Langston Hughes: Vol. 5), 2002 I don’t know how you could of thought that when everybody knowed she’s been married—and she had a son. —James Baldwin, The Amen Corner, 1954 A lot of people cry. They could of heard it … anywhere. —Beth Henley, The Debutante Ball, 1991

The amount of written evidence produced over more than two centuries means that we are inclined to define a word, but it does not mean that we recommend that it be employed (unless, of course, it is for a desired effect).

commonly confused words

accept: to receive except: with the exclusion of

advice: recommendation (noun) advise: to recommend (verb)

adverse: unfavorable averse: opposed to

affect: to influence (verb); emotional response (noun) effect: result (noun); to cause (verb)

aisle: space between rows isle: island

allude: to make indirect reference to elude: to avoid

allusion: indirect reference illusion: false idea, misleading appearance

already: by this time all ready: fully prepared

altar: sacred platform or place alter: to change

altogether: thoroughly all together: everyone/everything in one place

a lot: a quantity; many of something allot: to divide or portion out

angel: supernatural being, good person angle: shape made by joining two straight lines

are: plural form of "to be" our: plural form of "my"

accent: pronunciation common to a region ascent: the act of rising or climbing assent: consent, agreement

assistance: help assistants: helpers

bare: nude, unadorned bear: to carry; an animal

beside: close to; next to besides: except for; in addition

boar: a wild male pig bore: to drill a hole through

board: piece of wood bored: uninterested

born: brought into life borne: past participle of "to bear" (carry)

breath: air taken in (noun) breathe: to take in air (verb)

brake: device for stopping break: destroy; make into pieces

buy: to purchase by: next to; through the agency of

canvas: heavy cloth canvass: to take a survey; a survey

capital: major city capitol: government building

choose: to pick chose: past tense of "to choose"

clothes: garments close: to shut; near cloths: pieces of fabric

coarse: rough course: path; series of lectures

complement: something that completes compliment: praise, flattery

conscience: sense of morality conscious: awake, aware

corps: regulated group corpse: dead body

council: governing body counsel: advice; to give advice

dairy: place where milk products are processed diary: personal journal

descent: downward movement dissent: disagreement

dessert: final, sweet course in a meal desert: to abandon; dry, sandy area

device: a plan; a tool or utensil devise: to create

discreet: modest, prudent behavior discrete: a separate thing, distinct

do: a verb indicating performance or execution of a task dew: water droplets condensed from air due: as a result of

dominant: commanding, controlling dominate: to control

die: to lose life; one of a pair of dice dye: to change or add color

dyeing: changing or adding color dying: losing life

elicit: to draw out illicit: illegal, forbidden

eminent: prominent imminent: about to happen

envelop: to surround (verb) envelope: container for a letter (noun)

everyday: routine, commonplace, ordinary (adj.) every day: each day, succession (adj. + noun)

fair: just, honest; a carnival; light skinned fare: money for transportation; food

farther: at a greater (measurable) distance further: in greater (non-measurable) depth

formally: conventionally, with ceremony formerly: previously

forth: forward fourth: number four in a list

gorilla: animal in ape family guerrilla: soldier specializing in surprise attacks

hear: to sense sound by ear here: in this place

heard: past tense of "to hear" herd: group of animals

hoard: a hidden fund or supply, a cache horde: a large group or crowd, swarm

hole: opening whole: complete; an entire thing

human: relating to the species homo sapiens humane: compassionate

its: possessive form of "it" it's: contraction for "it is"

knew: past tense of "know" new: fresh, not yet old

know: to comprehend no: negative

later: after a time latter: second one of two things

lead: heavy metal substance; to guide led: past tense of "to lead"

lessen: to decrease lesson: something learned and/or taught

lightning: storm-related electricity lightening: making lighter

loose: unbound, not tightly fastened lose: to misplace

maybe: perhaps (adv.) may be: might be (verb)

meat: animal flesh meet: to encounter mete: to measure; to distribute

medal: a flat disk stamped with a design meddle: to interfere, intrude metal: a hard organic substance mettle: courage, spirit, energy

miner: a worker in a mine minor: underage person (noun); less important (adj.)

moral: distinguishing right from wrong; lesson of a fable or story morale: attitude or outlook usually of a group

passed: past tense of "to pass" past: at a previous time

patience: putting up with annoyances patients: people under medical care

peace: absence of war piece: part of a whole; musical arrangement

peak: point, pinnacle, maximum peek: to peer through or look furtively pique: fit of resentment, feeling of wounded vanity

pedal: the foot lever of a bicycle or car petal: a flower segment peddle: to sell

personal: intimate; owned by a person personnel: employees

plain: simple, unadorned plane: to shave wood; aircraft (noun)

precede: to come before proceed: to continue

presence: attendance; being at hand presents: gifts

principal: foremost (adj.); administrator of a school (noun) principle: moral conviction, basic truth

quiet: silent, calm quite: very

rain: water drops falling; to fall like rain reign: to rule rein: strap to control an animal (noun); to guide or control (verb)

raise: to lift up raze: to tear down

rational: having reason or understanding rationale: principles of opinion, beliefs

respectfully: with respect respectively: in that order

reverend: title given to clergy; deserving respect reverent: worshipful

right: correct; opposite of left rite: ritual or ceremony write: to put words on paper

road: path rode: past tense of "to ride"

scene: place of an action; segment of a play seen: viewed; past participle of "to see"

sense: perception, understanding since: measurement of past time; because

sight: scene, view, picture site: place, location cite: to document or quote (verb)

stationary: standing still stationery: writing paper

straight: unbending strait: narrow or confining; a waterway

taught: past tense of "to teach" taut: tight

than: used to introduce second element; compared to then: at that time; next

their: possessive form of "they" there: in that place they’re: contraction for "they are"

through: finished; into and out of threw: past tense of "to throw" thorough: complete

to: toward too: also; very (used to show emphasis) two: number following one

track: course, road tract: pamphlet; plot of ground

waist: midsection of the body waste: discarded material; to squander

waive: forgo, renounce wave: flutter, move back and forth

weak: not strong week: seven days

weather: climatic condition whether: if wether: a neutered male sheep

where: in which place were: past tense of "to be"

which: one of a group witch: female sorcerer

whose: possessive for "of who" who’s: contraction for "who is"

your: possessive for "of you" you’re: contraction for "you are" yore: time long past

[bookoformon]

The Book of Mosiah, Chapter 1. Parsha Arafel, "The Fog" Begins.

The rubber really starts to hit the road in this middle section of the Book of Mormon. The Gematria jumps nearer to the Birth of Christ at Year Zero, which in Gematria is "Z" Which is the Crown and Scepter:

CHAPTER 1

King Benjamin teaches his sons the language and prophecies of their fathers—Their religion and civilization have been preserved because of the records kept on the various plates—Mosiah is chosen as king and is given custody of the records and other things. About 130–124 B.C. All Jewish religious analyses must include include a longitudinal perspective that measures how well mankind has kept to the tenets of the Torah. In this case we are reviewing the adoption of the Torah and evaluating the impact of its writings up to and after the Gospels in order to draw conclusions. So far the report is not exactly a glowing one for either document.

The Gematria for 130 is "years of sin."

Now, Adam sinned by wasting his seed during the first 130 years of his life, as we have explained.

After the sin, Adam separated from Eve for 130 years. Although this was an act of penitence for his sin, it backfired, because during this time he succumbed to sexual fantasies and had seminal emissions, which the forces of evil used to propagate demons.

Wasting seed is described [in Scripture] as "evil", as in the verse: "And Er, the firstborn of Judah, was evil in the eyes of G‑d." (Gen. 38:7)

The Gematria for 124 means "Lost." This section of the Book of Mormon explains how "incorrect traditions" came to pass as a result of what was lost during the Evil Years.

1 And now there was no more contention in all the land of Zarahemla, among all the people who belonged to king Benjamin, "The King of The Big Economy" so that king Benjamin had continual peace all the remainder of his days.

2 And it came to pass that he had three sons; and he called their names Mosiah, and Helorum, and Helaman. And he caused that they should be taught in all the language of his fathers, that thereby they might become men of understanding; and that they might know concerning the prophecies which had been spoken by the mouths of their fathers, which were delivered them by the hand of the Lord.

Mosiah= Salvation Within

Mo=within

Siah=

Verb שוע (shawa') means to cry out (for salvation). Nouns שוע (shua'), שוע (shoa') and שועה (shawa) mean a cry (for salvation).

Helorum="Gives light to dark secrets."

Hel= rejoicing

The masculine noun הליל (hillul), meaning praise or a rejoicing. It occurs only in plural: הלולים (hillulim), literally meaning congratulations or rejoicings (Judges 9:27, Leviticus 19:24).

or= to give light

um=to the dark secrets

The verb עמם ('amam) means to darken or dim, and figuratively: to make secret. It occurs two or three times: Ezekiel 28:3, (and perhaps Ezekiel 31:8) and Lamentations 4:1. This verb obviously relates to the previous one in that one keeps a secret to oneself or to one's own people.

Helaman="Dream of Light."

Verb חלם (halam II) means to dream, and its derived noun חלום (halom) means a dream.

an/on-from Egyptian words meaning either pillar (iunnu / onu) or abode of the sun (ei-n-re).From the root און ('wn), either to experience much sorrow or have much vigor.

3 And he also taught them concerning the records which were engraven on the plates of brass, saying: My sons, I would that ye should remember that were it not for these plates, which contain these records and these commandments, we must have suffered in ignorance, even at this present time, not knowing the mysteries of God.

4 For it were not possible that our father, Lehi, "the jawbone" could have remembered all these things, to have taught them to his children, except it were for the help of these plates; for he having been taught in the language of the Egyptians therefore he could read these engravings, and teach them to his children, that thereby they could teach them to their children, and so fulfilling the commandments of God, even down to this present time.

This does not mean the Book of Mormon was found on plates written in Egyptian in Joseph Smiths backyard in New York State. Read on:

We had just left slavery. We were free people. But freedom is not automatic. It is something that needs to be learned, integrated and experienced. And if you have never been free, you may not know how to do it.

If you have never been free, you may not know how to do itSo when it came time for us to receive the Torah, to commit to this marriage with the One who chose us as His people, He began the conversation in the way we would feel most comfortable. He spoke to us in the language of our slavery, even though we were struggling to learn how to be free.

5 I say unto you, my sons, were it not for these things, which have been kept and preserved by the hand of God, that we might read and understand of his mysteries, and have his commandments always before our eyes, that even our fathers would have dwindled in unbelief, and we should have been like unto our brethren, the Lamanites, who know nothing concerning these things, or even do not believe them when they are taught them, because of the traditions of their fathers, which are not correct.

SOMETHING that was alive and well and is still lingering within the hearts of men caused them to make slaves of black people and told them it was okay in spite of the fact not one religion on this planet has ever condoned such a thing. Yet these people were deeply religious.

Now we know why the Prophet calls this section "The Fog" and says via the names of three new prophets, "look within, find the light in the darkness, dream the way out'" are the course of action humanity needs to take.

6 O my sons, I would that ye should remember that these sayings are true, and also that these records are true. And behold, also the plates of Nephi, which contain the records and the sayings of our fathers from the time they left Jerusalem until now, and they are true; and we can know of their surety because we have them before our eyes.

7 And now, my sons, I would that ye should remember to search them diligently, that ye may profit thereby; and I would that ye should bkeep the commandments of God, that ye may prosper in the land according to the promises which the Lord made unto our fathers.

8 And many more things did king Benjamin teach his sons, which are not written in this book.

9 And it came to pass that after king Benjamin had made an end of teaching his sons, that he waxed old, and he saw that he must very soon go the way of all the earth; therefore, he thought it expedient that he should confer the kingdom upon one of his sons.

10 Therefore, he had Mosiah brought before him; and these are the words which he spake unto him, saying: My son, I would that ye should make a proclamation throughout all this land among all this people, or the people of Zarahemla, and the people of Mosiah who dwell in the land, that thereby they may be gathered together; for on the morrow I shall proclaim unto this my people out of mine own mouth that thou art a king and a ruler over this people, whom the Lord our God hath given us.

11 And moreover, I shall give this people a name, that thereby they may be distinguished above all the people which the Lord God hath brought out of the land of Jerusalem; and this I do because they have been a diligent people in keeping the commandments of the Lord.

12 And I give unto them a name that never shall be blotted out, except it be through transgression.

13 Yea, and moreover I say unto you, that if this highly favored people of the Lord should fall into transgression, and become a wicked and an adulterous people, that the Lord will deliver them up, that thereby they become weak like unto their brethren; and he will no more preserve them by his matchless and marvelous power, as he has hitherto preserved our fathers.

14 For I say unto you, that if he had not extended his arm in the preservation of our fathers they must have fallen into the hands of the Lamanites, and become victims to their hatred.

15 And it came to pass that after king Benjamin had made an end of these sayings to his son, that he gave him charge��concerning all the affairs of the kingdom.

16 And moreover, he also gave him charge concerning the records which were engraven on the plates of brass; and also the plates of Nephi; and also, the sword of Laban, and the ball or director, (the Liahona) which led our fathers through the wilderness, which was prepared by the hand of the Lord that thereby they might be led, every one according to the heed and diligence which they gave unto him.

17 Therefore, as they were unfaithful they did not prosper nor progress in their journey, but were driven back, and incurred the displeasure of God upon them; and therefore they were smitten with famine and sore afflictions, to stir them up in remembrance of their duty.

18 And now, it came to pass that Mosiah went and did as his father had commanded him, and proclaimed unto all the people who were in the land of Zarahemla that thereby they might gather themselves together, to go up to the temple to hear the words which his father should speak unto them.

We Americans are "this highly favored people of the Lord that have fallen into transgression, and become a wicked and an adulterous people." We have allowed the dipshitz in the Republican Party to ruin our planet, steal our peace of mind, they stir up misery and deepen their sins every minute of every day and nothing they do is legal.

We cannot be weak and transgressive and allow them to continue incorrect traditions of slavery and apartheid our laws now way are obsolete to the letter. If we enforce the law and burn them to stubble with it, the light from the fire will lead the way out of the fog that is suffocating this world.

If we do it now, take the Party down while it is vulnerable for the Election Fraud, Seismic Mining, January 6, Mitt Romney's Gay Pedophile Porn Scandal [>300 cases!], the sexual assaults, the incessant need to attack civil rights, the Heat Belt! and put an end to it at last, it will mean all the Jews, Muslims, LGBTQ, African Americans, immigrants, the impoverished, and women on this planet will finally be able to leave Egypt.

[iwouldlovetoeatyourtoast]

google needs to stop saying people who were in julie & julia were also in this movie:

despite not being born yet

[felassan]

Some more possible scraps of interest from possible DA:D leaks on Reddit, from another Reddit user, under a cut due to DA:D spoilers:

first, the usual set of disclaimers that should be kept in mind with all leaks: might not be real, unable to verify at present, sometimes leakers think they’re right about things but are unintentionally incorrect or got some wires crossed, games change a fair bit between development phases and final release, the opinion-based stuff is completely subjective, take with grain of salt etc.

I tried to gather comments together in bundles where it would make sense (if on the same or related topics).

-

They commented on the timepoint of development that their information is from, saying "It's up to date." and that they played much more recently than last October. Someone asked "Alright so this is like alpha or pre-alpha video right? Which means what we see is subject to drastic change." (basically asking if they played the same build as the Reddit leaker who shared screenshots/gif) and they said "Ehh, that would be based on how soon it’s released. Because I’ve playtested it recently, and if that video is old, then they’ve changed essentially nothing about it and probably don’t intend to lol." "Between when your comment was first written and now, I’ve learned enough to be convinced that it was indeed from at least a year ago, so you were right. I’ve just played a much more recent version." "Nope, completely different. But I read through it thoroughly just now, and that person is right. Based on the write-up [Insider Gaming report], it is pretty old. They’re talking about missing textures and placeholders. In my playthrough, they could’ve told me the game was done and I would’ve believed them. Definitely wasn’t from the same test." So it sounds like folks leaking played different builts/different playtests at different times.

Someone asked a bit more detail about what playtesting involves and they replied "Certain part of the game. I played specific missions, story missions, so I wouldn't know anything about the sidequest fluff." "I played in the middle because that’s how most controlled tests for games work. You almost never just hit “new game” and start from the beginning."

Reddit user: "Rook is the name of the protagonist. Like “Inquisitor” was in DA:I." Someone speculated that Rook would be a fridged prologue companion like Jenkins Masseffect (F) and they replied "As someone who has played the game, don’t try your hand at the lottery for a while lol."

Reddit user: "Grey Warden isn't the class" [of the character seen in some of the screenshots] "I’m not confirming or denying the existence of different origins, but “Grey Warden” was not the class."

Reddit user: "I've played it. You can't directly control party members. A more apt comparison (and it's extremely weird that they didn't reference this [referring to the first Insider Gaming report] considering it's another bioware franchise) is Mass Effect. It's exactly like ME's wheel where you hold RB or whatever it was, and choose what ability they use." "They can always change it, but I've played it and unfortunately, I can confirm. I personally don't care as I never switch to companions in games where you can anyway, but it's exactly like ME in that aspect."

Reddit user: "Given the timing, I'm 99% sure his source is someone I played with." "Nothing in the leak that was stated definitively is incorrect." [referring to the first Insider Gaming report]

Reddit user [re: combat]: "I've played it, and tbf, it was closer to XV than to say, DA:I" "Combat felt like Andromeda with melee weapons. Take that for what you will lol." "XV was in reference t the combat wheel. It wasn't over the top at all though, it played like a typical action game (ie not teleporting everywhere)." "I've beaten all 3 [existing DA games] and have played Dreadwolf. It's nothing like the other games. It's action combat. Grounded though, not in a fantastical way like DMC." "I don't remember a wheel in XV, but then again I havent played it in a long time. What it is exactly like though (and them not using this descriptor makes me feel like they don't play bioware games) is Mass Effect. I've played it. The wheel is exactly like the ME games."

Reddit user [re: combat, when someone was asking about hack 'n' slash]: "It's more like Inquisition, although I wouldn't describe it as either. Plays like an action game." "What they meant [in the Insider Gaming article] is that it plays like an action game. So not like any of the DA games" "I described my playtime to friends as "Andromeda but melee"." "I thought it was fun. Funner than the DAs of the past. However I never really took advantage of all the tactical options in Bioware games, so if there's someone who is looing forward to that, they'll probably have significantly less fun than I did." They also confirmed the existence of skill trees, a map, choosing the PC's class, companions who used classes and jumping & a jump button. They said that there are 4 ability slots ("I was only ever able to use 4."). There's blocking but not parrying. Stats are levelled up automatically like they are in DA:I, so no skill points to allocate manually. "I’ve played it with 3 companions and 4 skills."

They confirm the following infos from the first Insider Gaming article:

- "The game still lacks features;" The game is missing voice lines and has a lot of placeholder text. - "Dreadwolf has a lot of similarities with previous games in the franchise;" AND "You can recruit members to your team"; The article basically just describes a Dragon Age game. ***POSSIBLE SPOILER*** "It’s understood that you’ll be able to move from your hub to missions by passing through a mirrored portal." - "You cannot control your team members, but you can issue commands to cast abilities;" Key word here is currently perhaps - "Combat will be hack n' slash-like and will be like Final Fantasy XV;" The article did not say it's hack n' slash like FF15, but the combat wheel itself is more like FF15 (I never played FF15 so I don't know if it's a time-slow type ability wheel or what).

and added on this topic, "I can confirm 75% of what that person has said, and the other 25% I just never experienced. Don't know why they would lie about it." "Unless they change it in the future, you can't directly control companions." "I've played it and can confirm everything in that article except for the release date and multiplayer stuff. You cannot directly control your companions, and its full hack and slash" "Other than what I didn't experience (multiplayer/hub) it's all true. Down to the part about a 1/10th of the lines not being recorded yet." "I can confirm almost everything in that leak." "Multiplayer I didn't experience, nor did I experience the hub world that was described, although the portal thing is true." "The hub thing he described, I never played, but I did use the portals he was talking about." They also commented on the missing voice lines, "It's implemented, they're just not all there yet. During my playthrough Id say maybe a 10th of the lines were missing, and a good amount of the monster sounds." "Oh for sure, it’s definitely not a mess at this stage. On the contrary, the environments are pretty beautiful. Only things that were missing were a few audio clips."

Reddit user [re: mirrored portrals and an open world]: "I can't confirm the existence of one, I could've just never experienced it from my time with the game, but I myself never played anything that could be considered open world. Funny enough, I never thought about that until your question just now. But it would make sense from what I played."

Reddit user: "Combat's are great, cutscenes' are decent. Best ever as far as Bioware is concerned (which should be a given). What's not great are the facial animations. Granted the game isn't done yet (and might be far from done, who knows), but as of rn, it's Andromeda 2.0"

Reddit user [re: not controlling party members]: "It's true." "Unless they change it sometime before release, which I doubt, I can confirm that you cannot." "I can confirm. You can't directly control them." They also commented that companion control felt like Mass Effect.

When someone said "i hope they don't mean a real "action" combat, and it would still have those Dragon Age" they replied "That's exactly what they mean." Someone mentioned no party member control and hack n slash, FF combat and they replied "Can confirm, both are true. I wouldn't say "will be like XV", and technically that's not what he said either. What he meant was that it's more of an action combat, not that you'll be teleporting around." Someone asked if it compares to Elder Scrolls and they said "Uhhh, yeah I guess. I usually play Elder Scrolls in first person, so that comparison would be kinda weird to me, but third person elder scrolls I guess would be more accurate than any of the past DA games. ES combat has no weight to it though, and this has weight. For real, it plays like Dark Souls games if you took out the invincibility frames and all the things that make them "hard"."

Someone asked about the party size, and they replied "Yeah, 2 party members and then a third based on what mission you're playing. Weapon wheel to control 3 abilities each for the two companion's you've brought and then 4 of your own abilities." "Now I will say, Idk how far I was into the game, so it's possible that it'll eventually open up to 3 of your choosing, but I played multiple missions and the third person was whoever you were helping at the time." "It’s still 4 [party members in total, so PC+3]."

Someone asked about what's happening to Solas and they replied "I have no idea lol. He was mentioned in passing seeing as he's the big bad now, but I never saw him or anything." "in Mass Effect for instance right? WHat Sovereign was up to wasn't described in every main mission. It wasn't even described in most of them."

Reddit user: "The look of the hair was pretty damn good I will say, the physics of it though, I didn't really pay attention to. Everything about the graphics looked sufficiently next gen, except for the facial animations. They're still Andromeda level, maybe a step up." "Everyone else's hair is great. Your character's hair is...decent." "Graphics are sufficiently next gen except for facial animations. They were the one stand out." "Movements are less stiff feeling, even when people are still. Animations and movement are better as well. They were satisfying to me, but of course, that’s subjective." "visuals and performance were pretty solid from my experience. That could obviously change though."

On facial animations someone asked them "You said that facial animations were only a bit better than those in Andromeda, but how do they compare to Inquisition? Because I think in Inquisition they were somehow better or at least didn't stand out that much like in Andromeda, despite the latter being newer game. I think I'll be okay with them being just a bit better than in Inquisition" and they replied "I’m looking at clips of Inquisition now and I think you hit the nail on the head when you said “at least didn’t stand out as much” because tbh, Inquisition and Andromeda weren’t that far apart in that aspect, they were definitely made using the same process, but Inquisitions somehow don’t stand out as much. Idk whether it’s because a lot of the people talking aren’t human or what. But it looks more like that than Andromeda. But because technology has gotten better, it looks better than both. I guess the conclusion is it still has that stiffness that both of them have, where it looks a couple steps removed from a robot that gets told to move pieces of their face X way at X time, but then at the end come back to Z position. So I guess I’d say the faces look and move like an HD Inquisition. I would’ve compared it to that instead of Andromeda, but I never realized they were so similar until you pointed it out lol."

Reddit user: "Yup, a KO for you is game over." [a KO for the PC]

Reddit user: "The maps feel like they could've came from DA:I design wise."

Reddit user: "It feels the same but different. I know that's an incredibly bs non-answer but it's true. It feels like a 2023 Bioware Dragon Age. For better or for worse. Anybody expecting DA:I 2 will be disappointed." "It'll probably be worth it [the wait] in the sense that DA fans will find it passable. But at this point (keep in mind the game still isn't done) it's not something that feels like it took 10 years to make or anything. Which is probably due to them reportedly restarting development multiple times." "I'd say most things about the game definitely feel more like Andromeda then DA:I" "If they keep it pretty much the same as my playtest, average players will be happy, but people who play Dragon Age games specifically for the Dragon Age gameplay probably won’t be. It’s completely different."

Someone asked about whether it answers DA lore questions, and what the storytelling/spread of storytelling is like and they said "I was dropped in and out of missions, so idk, but I will say it has A LOT of story elements from DA:O" and then "Same answer"

On characters they said "I didn't spend a significant enough amount of time to make that call [whether they're as interesting as the chars in DA:I. they're quirky though" "I think the character designs are sick, but that's completely subjective." "I wouldn't say I had enough time with the characters to get emotionally invested." Also someone asked if the characters are 3D, realistic and complex and they replied "Stereotypes unfortunately". Someone asked how the dialogue compares to ME:A, expressing the opinion that their "biggest issue with MEA was the MCU-esque style of writing that made the dialogue sound like it was ripped from bad tumblr fanfics. I couldn't take most of the cast seriously because they sounded more like caricatures than real characters." They replied "😬 bad news my man. What you just described is exactly how I would describe it.

Reddit user [re: armors]: "Im not sure how to answer that. Nothing really stood out, if that helps. But then again, idk what parts of the game I played. Could've been closer to the beginning where you just get the plain stuff."

Someone asked them "was the camera a tight over-the-shoulder cam like Andromeda, or was it more zoomed out / character centered like DAI / other 3rd person games?" and they replied "Zoomed out, but then tight when you use the weapon wheel (which youll be using a lot)" The other user asked if it was like Mad Max, and they said "Actually that's not a bad comparison. Picture the camera a bit further out though." On tac cam, they said "I was part of the leakers playtest. As of now, there is literally no tactical camera, but like you said, who knows if they’ll add it sometime before release. Just don’t get your hopes up."

Someone asked them "Does it feel like a medieval fantasy game still? It looks so sci fi to me, like the eluvians are shitty Rick and morty style portal guns all of the sudden. Does the neon purple take away from that feeling at all?" and they replied "It didn’t feel sci-fi to me but it sounds like you’re referring to a deeper level than just baseline aesthetics, and for that I think it’d be subjective. If you’re not though, no it still felt distinctly fantasy. Some parts more medieval than others." Someone also asked about warriors breaking stuff in the world, mages restoring terrain and rogues picking locks and they replied "Let’s just say…the game doesn’t play in a way that requires those anymore."

Reddit user: "Map design was one of the best parts, and boy were they gorgeous. The greenery specifically was the only thing in the game where I was like "This is exclusively next gen, like they couldn't have done this on last gen"."

Reddit user: "I thought it was fun, but I mean fun is subjective. Things were changed about the series that some long time fans will hate and some people who never liked Dragon Age will now love, such as the lack of tactical options." "I thought the combat was fun, but fun is subjective ya know? For instance, you guys already know that all the tactical stuff is gone, and for someone looking for that, they wouldn’t find it fun. I guess the takeaway could be that it’s by no means bad. Footage and screenshots are real. That’s 100% the game."

Reddit user: "I’ve played it. Recently. And all of the things people are giving the “year old” line in reference to are still the case. So the likelihood of them being changed are very slim."

Someone asked them "Hello! Could you share (or hint in some way) if some of the characters from previous games will make an appearance? (Beside Varric and Solas, obv). Some old leaks implied Bioware considered dual protagonist at some point, so I'm wondering if it turned into something. Or, at least, any mentions about Inquisition?" and they replied "[besides Varric and Solas] Literally the only people I saw/heard about lmao, sorry. I also never experienced anything regarding dual protagonists."

Someone asked them "Did it look to be anywhere near close to done??? I mean it's kinda a dumb question because on one hand I think you may have only played a certain area... On the other though I don't know anything about why you playtested, nor do I want to but, I am interested in knowing more about the overall size, comparison of detail to say like anything new gen, and whether or not they incorporated newer tech such as haptics, adaptive triggering, graphic upgrade and is the story intriguing or pushed... You know.". They replied:

"No no, that’s not a dumb question at all. Tbh, they could’ve said it was releasing at the end of the year and I’d believe them. The only thing I could see that wasn’t finished were the voice lines, and not even that many weren’t recorded. Maybe 1/10th. Graphics were superb except for the facial animations (and given Andromeda, that might just be how they’re going to stay). Controls were solid, enemies were solid, abilities were solid, UI and menu all looked unique and finished. General gameplay was in a finished state. Had a couple glitches here and there but nothing that couldn’t easily be ironed out.

[re: about the overall size, comparison of detail to say like anything new gen] From what I played, it seems more instanced than open world like DA:I, so I can’t really compare it in size, and obviously the previous 2 games have been outclassed in terms of technology.

[re: whether or not they incorporated newer tech such as haptics, adaptive triggering] Not that I saw, but idk if that’s the type of thing they’d incorporate anywhere before near the end of development. You sound like you’d have a better idea of that than I would though.

[re: graphcis upgrade] Graphics are for sure upgraded. The flora in particular I would say wouldn’t have been able to be created before the PS5 gen. It’s that good. Environments, clothing, faces were up there as well (clothing and faces could’ve been better with your character, but everyone else’s were next gen).

[re: is the story intriguing or pushed] The thing about judging a story is that even the most interesting ones fall flat if you experience it out of order (unless that’s the author’s intention), which I did. Even with putting bits and pieces together from what the characters were saying, I really felt nothing because I was coming in mid storyline."

[source] <- read the comments in context for them to make the most sense ofc :)

Edit - Update:

New comment of interest from the user (thanku @ladymacbethsimp for letting me know!). Someone asked them "can you attribute a single emoji to every companion you saw? like an out of context spoiler kind of thing". They replied "Hmmm I can try…" and posted these three emojis/series of emojis:

The screenshots I have included here are screenshots of the same comment from 2 different devices side by side, as emojis/emoji groupings can change appearance depending on OS etc.

so.. an elven Black man, red hair woman and woman mage?

[endobiologist]

Trans Guy Tips #8: Testosterone HRT Changes PART 2

1. You will notice your fat redistributes a LOT. like they say this but you might be like "but what exactly does that really mean?" like I felt.

Well basically, for me I was average weight but had slight chub, and feminine thighs, hips, thick love handles & pooofy huge fat baby cheeks that people always blamed their misgendering of me on.

All of those things about me disappeared recently.

I am now a way more lanky guy, much more than I used to be.

My already grasshopper long legs are now powerful and manly, muscular, and so different in a way I can't even describe, just different. Even my mom pointed out my legs changed noticebly!

I have zero love handles anymore as of these few months, which I have never experienced in my life, and my gut which was huge is still there now too, but is now a reasonable unbloated size. I miss my cute round tummy but I like having a flatter stomach too, either is cool with me!!

I have no extra jiggly fat anywhere on my body, it feels more "solid" and less "loose" if that makes any sense. I tested, it doesn't jiggle and shake loosely when I move my arm to the left & right for instance, or my leg.

I have also grown two full inches in height since beginning T.

I was 5'8" when I began and I am now 5'10". This is so fucking dope because my whole life I said I wanted to be at least 5'10" and I'd be happy. Well I did it!!! *High-fives myself*

These are due to bone changes, which are caused because I started Testosterone when I was barely 18 years old, not finished with my female-born body's puberty yet, (which ends later on than you think!) which causes your body to basically welcome the sweet embrace of Testosterone and will give you things like;

1. Increased height by at least an inch or multiple, rarely can increase by a lot in some cases it's been rumoured. I experienced two inches of growth so far, nut I'm only a little over a year on T so far. The maximum span of Testosterone's effects is said to be 5 years. I did a series of height calculators based on both female & male settings, and using my parent's heights, and it said if I was only female e.g. untransitioned, I would probably grow to 5'11" by about 25 years old or so (makes sense, my dad is TALLL.). I did the calculations again with the male setting, e.g. with Testosterone in my system, and it said I could grow to 6'1".

HOOOOLY SHITTT my dream height wtffff

It may be incorrect.... it may be just some stupid internet site...

but if it works, I'll let you know, and report my findings again to you guys.

2. Bigger. shoe. size. Your feet will IMMEDIATELY rush to outgrow your shoes by about two to four sizes on average for most men. Prepare for your old shoes to be sold, trashed/recycled, given or kept as a keepsake 😆😭

3. An adam's apple! Yes, you can fucking grow an adam's apple. It's legit. It will look either a little smaller than a cis man's, or sometimes the same, kind of like beards.

4. Along with the adam's apple, comes even deeper vocal range! Yes I said it. If you start T young (As long as you are 1000% sure it is right for you!!!!) you will get a slightly or sometimes quite deeper vocal pitch than some other trans men who started later, whose vocal cords were used to their positions. Again, every trans man's experience is different, so maybe you may not even experience much of this at all, but it is very possible and likely!

5. Bone changes that are majour, such as facial changes to the very structure of your face, not just the fat. I'm talking your Skeleton. Fucking. Moves, Bro..

I believe I am experiencing it, as my face is so drastically different and I have random bruised feeling in my face sometimes. If anyone knows, feel free to add!!

6. Same bone changes can happen in small but noticeable ways like that throughout the rest of your body. Prepare for majour shape changes. I got huge shoulders and chest, while my hips narrowed.

For reference, I am 1 year and 3 months on Testosterone now as of posting this, I began April 08 2021. It is so fascinating, and I loooove who I am becoming looking in the mirror!!! I finally look like the me in my soul. 💜💜💜🏳️‍⚧️

- Atom T. Afton

December 2021 to June 2022 aka last month pictures for reference

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Fully Completely 2

Warnings: non-consent sex and rape (series), violence, mutual irritation.

This is dark!Loki x reader and explicit. 18+ only.  Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Series Synopsis: There’s a new face in Birch and he’s come to haunt your door.

Sister series to Smalltown Bringdown, When the Weight Comes Down, and Little Bones

Note: Here’s part two and things are getting aggressive fast.

Thanks to everyone for their patience and feedback. :)

I really hope you enjoy. 💋

<3 Let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply or an ask! Love ya!

Chapter 2: Either it'll move me

💀💀💀

Usually your work kept you busy and if you were busy, you were content. Not that day. Not since that man ruined your lunch. You were so worked up that when you got back to the garage, you didn’t even finish your sandwich. You barely got anything done as what you did had to be redone in your distraction.

The night was little better as you planned to get the car done so the next time Loki bothered you, you could tell him to fuck off. If his headlight did come in before he left town, you’d send it down to Carl’s to have the work done. You would take the cost from what Bucky gave you to cover your time.

You were on your second coffee by the time you headed down to the garage, your apartment conveniently above as your existence was relegated to that single lot in Birch. At the bottom step you paused as you sipped from the travel mug and listened to the unexpected noise from behind the black door.

You locked all the doors at night, even that between the entryway and the garage that you kept propped open during the day. You stepped closer and tested the handle and bent to examine the lock. You glanced over at the painted front door and found that both had been picked.

Your fingers tightened on the mug. The last person to break into your garage, well, they weren’t around to bother you anymore after Jerome found out. You swung the door open and hauled the hot coffee across the garage towards the only sign of movement.

Loki sidestepped the splash, a few drops along his dark jacket, and continued to tighten and untighten the wrench. He looked at you nonchalantly and his mouth slanted. He shook his head as he let the tool hang perilously from his hand.

“Is this how you treat all your customers? This ungainly assault,” he peered down at the overturned cup beside his car.

“What the fuck are you doing in my garage?” you huffed as you marched over to him and reached for the wrench.

He gripped it tighter as you tried to snatch it from him and held you close as he sneered down at you.

“Two days,” he said “correct?”

“Tomorrow by my count,” you rebuked and pulled harder on the wrench, “not that it gives you any right to break into my garage and touch my stuff.” He let you yank the metal free of your grasp and you pointed it at his chin, “so leave or this time I won’t miss.”

He chuckled, barely bothered by the tool pointed at him as his green eyes sparkled, “your count is incorrect. I might be early but your work is due this evening so I will wait.”

“Not here,” you waved the wrench at him and grabbed his arm, “so get out and come back later then.”

His hand covered yours and he pried your fingers from him. He twisted your hand back and you gasped and swung the wrench with your other. You hit his shoulder as he raised his arm in defense and grunted at the sharp impact. He let you go and you swung again. He dodged and shoved you away from him.

“Do not presume to put your hands on me,” he warned, “you know who my brother is, that I associate with your cute local chapter--”

“I’m not one of them and I don’t report to them,” you snarled, “so get out now or you won’t be associating with anyone.”

“Mouthy little bitch,” he slithered, “you touch me again, or even attempt it--”

“I said get out,” you hit the hood of his car and left a dent, “It’ll be another day at least.”

His nostrils flared and his eyes narrowed. He fixed his jacket and sighed. He raised his chin and stiffly strode across the garage and through the black door. You followed feet behind him and made sure he continued outside. You cranked the lock behind him and listened to his footsteps crunch through the snow.

You might not report to Bucky and his goons but he was going to keep the rabble in line.

💀

It was just after noon but you knew Bucky would already be at The Asp. You ventured down the street in your heavy boots, your jacket flapping open in the wind as you were set on your destination and the conversation that awaited you. You nodded at the man who leaned a few feet from the door and sucked on a cigarette.

You entered and shook the snow off your lined denim jacket and kicked off your boots. You looked around at the mostly empty bar. You rarely went there as it was more trouble than you needed. The men were drunk and dirty and like many places in Birch, you just didn’t fit. You didn’t want to fit.

Bucky sat at his usual table, a woman you recognized beside him. She had been a year or two ahead of you in school and a couple behind Bucky himself. You knew she was his new girl but she never really looked happy about it. Knowing him, it didn’t surprise you. He always wanted more than he got.

You crossed to him and stood in front of the round table as his right-hand thug watched you curiously. You raised a brow at Steve and focused on the boss.

“We need to talk,” you said plainly.

“We do?” he asked genuinely confused, “I owe you something?”

“You do and you don’t. I’m not here about money,” you replied, “but it’s important.”

“Alright,” he pointed to the chair in front of you and gestured to his companions, planting a kiss on the woman’s lips before she stood, her lips slightly curled at the corner, and left you. He shifted in his chair as they went and nodded when he was ready, “sorry, if I knew you were on your way, I would’ve kept her in the back.”

You scoffed and shook your head. He was always obtusely arrogant. “I stopped fucking you, Buck, I don’t care who you’re with now.”

“Yeah, yeah, I remember,” he inhaled and placed his hand against the table, “so what is it?”

“This guy, Loki,” you began, “brought his car to me two nights ago.”

“Mhmm, I sent him down. I know I should come down myself but--”

“Please, you hate going down there,” you waved his words away, “it’s not about the car, it’s about him.”

“What about him?”

“He broke into my shop this morning. There was… well, I got a few licks in and for the sake of you I’ve held back but you need to keep him away from me. I’ll fix his car but I’m not dealing with him anymore. He’s a pompous asshole who thinks he can just do whatever he wants.” You stopped yourself, usually not one to go on at length, “he’s your… associate, as he would say it, so he can deal with you, not me.”

He considered you and pulled his hand back to scratch the stubble along his jaw. His blue eyes were intrigued if not surprised.

“He… coming onto you?” he asked.

“No,” you blinked at him dully, “no, he’s just annoying me. You promised me the shop would be my space. He picked my locks, Buck, so you let him know what’s what.”

“He’s new in town,” Bucky sighed, “but I’ll talk to him.”

“You better,” you stood, “because I don’t care about whatever business you got going on, the next time, I’m gonna pop his eye out with a--”

“Don’t be dramatic,” he snipped, “I’ll take care of him, alright?”

“You better,” you said as you backed away, “or you can find someone else to fix up your bikes.”

“Really? You know it won’t come to that,” he sat forward in irritation, “go, he won’t bother you.”

💀

The next day you looked over the front of the car. Aside from the cracked headlight, it was as good as new. You rolled up the garage door and took the keys from the hook. You drove the car out and steered it along the snowy street and parked just outside The Asp. You got out and headed inside to hand off the keys to Bucky with a promise that you would take care of the light when it came in as long as he kept Loki away.

You returned to the garage to close the door and checked the time. You were overdue for lunch and hadn’t been back to The Chipped Saucer since that eventful day. You were hungry and too lazy to climb up to your apartment and dig through your fridge. 

You crossed the street and entered the diner as Kimmie looked up from the harlequin novel she hid behind as she stood by the till. She marked her page and closed it before she grabbed the carafe from the machine and crossed to your table. She poured you a mug and confirmed your usual order.

There were a few of the older residents enjoying pie and coffee at the other tables but the snow still kept many in their own houses. You might try the strawberry rhubarb before you went. You didn’t indulge in sweets often but it smelled good.

Kimmie brought your sandwich and as you finished the first triangle, you were disturbed by the last voice you wanted to hear. You didn’t look back as the door chimed behind the new patron and you continued chewing as you once more reviewed the newsletter. 

To your chagrin but not unexpectedly, the figure appeared at your table side. You bit into the next portion of your club sandwich and ignored him.

“Hello, darling,” Loki sat across from you as he had days before, “I saw that you attended to my vehicle at last. Fine work, I must say. I do hope the headlight arrives soon.”

You said nothing and kept eating as you looked out the window and slid the newsletter aside with your other hand. You took the last gulp of your coffee and swallowed. You raised your cup and looked around, “‘scuse me,” you called out, “when you have a second.”

He laughed to himself and you felt his gaze on you. You pushed aside your uneaten crust and went about your meal as if he wasn’t there. When Kimmie refilled your coffee, he ordered a tea and a bowl of the daily soup. 

You barely withheld your grimace as you watched Babs across the street by her bakery. She dusted snow off the open sign before she retreated back inside.

“I’m pleasantly surprised by the food here,” he mused as he stirred a plume of milk into his tea.

“Can’t you take a hint?” you snapped, “I don’t want you near me.”

��Believe me, at first, the feeling was mutual, darling,” he said.

“I told you not to call me that,” you frowned at him directly and he smirked.

“I like the way it makes your eyes go,” he taunted, “admittedly, that first meeting I would’ve liked nothing other than to never encounter you again but the more I poke and prod you, the more intrigued I am.”

“If you don’t stop--”

“You’ll go back to Barnes, hmm?” he intoned, “yes, he did speak with me but I might enlighten you on one fact. The man requires my business more than a mechanic, especially as there seems to be healthy competition in town.”

“You have your car, you’ll have the headlight done, and you can be on your way out of town,” you growled, “and you can be far away from me. Whatever stupid game you’re playing at, I’m not biting. I meant it when I said I won’t miss--”

“Darling, this is not an invitation,” his eyes strayed from your face for just a moment and he considered the buttons of your flannel shirt, “a man like me doesn’t ask, he expects.”

Your eyes rolled so hard it hurt. You pushed your plate away and pulled out your wallet. You left your tab on the table and stood. You shrugged into your jacket and glanced out the window at the white main street.

“Whatever you expect, it’s not going to happen,” you rebuffed, “but I told you what you can expect if you come around me again.”

You left as you had days before and stormed across the street without looking. You dodged out of the way of a slow rolling Ford as it honked and you waved them off. You stomped up to the front of your shop and realised too late you were being followed.

You spun around at the door to face Loki as he slid to a stop. He grabbed your arm and drew you back from the painted wood. You hit his chest and he barely flinched as he flicked your chin with his finger.

“Oh, darling, let’s not drag this out, I do love that temper--”

“Get off--” you pushed him and he nearly slipped and took you down with him as his leather soles held no traction on the frozen ground.

He threw you back and you hit the corner of the doorframe and gasped out as it forced the air from you. 

“I promise you, it won’t last. I will damp out that flame and bask in the smoke,” he neared again and you kicked out. He fell to his knees as the force of it had you on your ass. 

You crawled away from the wall as he tried to stand and you grabbed onto his leg and pulled him back down. He slid back to his kneeS and gripped the collar of your coat. You hooked your arm around his neck and he jabbed your stomach, not as hard as he could, but a warning.

You brought your other arm up as you struggled to get a foothold and you managed to push you both back. You fell in tandem into the snow, your arms locked as he forced his fingers under them to keep them from snaking tighter. He was strong and you knew you could only do so much. You had to keep him on the ground.

He elbowed your ribs and you released him sharply. You rolled away from him as you panted and scrambled on your hands and knees. The frigid snow seeped through your jeans and burned your palms. You heard him behind you and you turned as you climbed to your feet unsteadily.

He was half-keeled as he got his feet set and his dark hair hung over his forehead as he glared through the strands. He stood straight and pushed back the mess of tangles and you faced him, ready for another brawl.

“Oh, this will be fun, darling,” he brushed the powder from his suit and his cheek twitched, “You needn’t worry about Barnes, you should be more worried about me.”

He puffed out a breath and spun swiftly, nearly slipping again on the icy walk. He headed back down to the street and you saw the tension between his shoulders as he pulled his jacket straight. He hurried across the road and you turned back to the garage.

It was a brief retreat, a chance to plot, you knew that much. You only had to outlast him and if you were anything, it was stubborn.

[robinastrea]

The Breakups (Part 2/4)

Date: Late April, 2012 Age: 13 Characters Mentioned: Ryder Astrea Description: This series goes through how each of Robin’s past relationships ended. (See this post)

When Robin became Rocko’s desk partner in science at the beginning of the school year, he thought it was going to suck.  Rocko was just going to be another kid that got mad when Robin would inevitably yell across the room to his twin, and would complain to the teacher when he did assignments terribly.

But Robin couldn’t have been more incorrect; to sum up Rocko, he was chaotic, and he was hilarious.  Not only did he not mind Robin being the worst desk partner of all time, he actively encouraged it.  The two of them got in trouble on more than one occasion doing odd impressions and failing to keep from laughing, their joint lab reports read as if they were only using one brain cell apiece, and as they were nearing the end of the year, Robin still couldn’t keep straight the parts of a cell.  But they still managed to keep each other in the ‘average’ grade column, Rocko even taking the liberty of keeping careful notes the week Robin was suspended for beating up Shawn Elkies.

After a while, the platonic feelings Robin had for Rocko turned not so platonic.  During one class hour, after the erkuss had done a particularly funny impression, Robin blurted out without thinking: “Do you want to go out with me?”

Rocko had frozen, and then a grin formed on his face.  “I’ve liked you this whole year, and it’s Shrek that finally does it for you?”

It was a month after this, and things were going good.  Rocko taught Robin some roller skate tricks, and Robin taught Rocko to RipStik.  Study dates increased, as well as the amount of terrible jokes.  There wasn’t anything wrong, and Robin was having a lot of fun.  Except that somewhere along the way, he had come to realize he’d lost the non-platonic feelings; or maybe, he never had them in the first place.

“Hey, Rocko,” they were sitting at a table at the skatepark.  Rocko was pulling his knee pads on, as well as the rest of his equipment.  Today was the day the erkuss was to attempt a roller skate cartwheel, and Robin as the “muscle one” was supposed to carry him to the hospital if necessary.

“Hold that thought,” Rocko grunted, pulling his padding on with a large amount of energy.  They were too small for him, but they were a recent birthday present, so Rocko was making it work.  “Okay, shoot,” he breathed finally, leaning against the table to take a break.

“I was thinking…” Robin started when prompted.  “What if we…weren’t boyfriends?”

Rocko had been smiling slightly, but that quickly faded.  “What do you mean?  You want to break up?”

“Well, yeah.”  Rocko’s pained reaction suddenly gave Robin a large amount of dread, but he thought this was the right thing to do, so he continued.  “The thing is.  I really like you, and I have so much fun with you.  I’m having fun with you even today, right now.  But I like you as a friend, and I’d sort of like to go back to that instead of putting pressure on us.  You know?”

Rocko had turned pale and sat there for a long moment, seeming to be looking for something to say.  “I like you as much more than a friend,” he said finally, in a small voice.  “Is it because we haven’t kissed yet?  Did I do something?”

Robin immediately hated how this was going.  He should have just kept dating Rocko.  What did it matter if he didn’t actually have feelings, if there wasn’t anything wrong?  Now he’d suddenly messed everything up between them.  “No--I’m not ready to kiss someone,” he admitted sheepishly.  “You haven’t done anything, promise.  It’s…it’s not you, it’s me.”  Robin cringed immediately after he said it.

Rocko’s jaw actually dropped.  “Are you serious right now?  I’m out of here.”  He grabbed his equipment and walked off without putting his shoes back on.

“Rocko,” Robin called.  He stopped, but didn’t turn around.  Robin hypothesized he might be hiding tears from him, or perhaps he was expecting Robin to change his mind.  He felt like absolute shit, but he knew he couldn’t go back.  “I’m really sorry.  I want to be friends with you,” Robin pleaded.

“No.” Rocko answered firmly, but his voice sounded choked up.  Then he walked off.

When Robin came into class on Monday, he saw Ryder sitting at his desk, and his now ex-boyfriend across the room, looking away from him.

[punkpresentmic]

Traitor Aizawa AU Pt 8 — 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

It’s an otherwise unmemorable patrol for Shouta, the streets almost entirely empty at this hour. When he notices the shadows of the alleyway shift in the corner of his eye, he can't be certain it isn't a figment of his imagination.

He stares into the inky blackness for a long while, paused at its edge with a hand on his capture weapon.

The flick of a lighter announces the man’s presence, illuminating a face not unfamiliar to Shouta. Giran smiles as he lights his cigarette. "Evening, Eraserhead—have you got a minute?"

His reputation precedes him. Giran’s involved in the worst sorts of deals, a broker for villains & criminals of every caliber. If he’s here, it’s trouble. It’s exactly why Shouta approaches; this is his route to protect. "What are you doing here?"

Giran takes his time answering, rolling well-scripted words around his tongue as he takes a drag of his cigarette & blows a slow cloud of smoke that disappears into the nearest streetlight. "My client wanted me to have a word with you. To get your thoughts on a couple business matters."

"I have no business with the likes of you. What do you want."

"I see we’re not sugar-coating things here. Alright, then." He flicks ash onto the pavement. "My client has intel regarding the incident that killed Shirakumo Oboro."

The air is stolen from Shouta’s lungs, & for one hysterical moment he thinks it’s an attack from a Quirk. He gathers himself, shows nothing but a scowl on his face.

Giran continues, "This info is deep & dirty, implicates all sorts of characters. But my client is willing to make a trade: a morsel of info for a morsel of info. You drop off your package, my client drops off theirs. I’ll see to that; I have a reputation to uphold, you know." He smiles. "Customer satisfaction & all that."

Shouta crosses his arms, hiding how his nails bite into his fists as his heart thuds. "What does your boss want to know." He makes his tone bored, disinterested.

"Simple, really: a schedule of UA training exercises. & remember, hero: incorrect information only gets you incorrect information in return."

Disgust rolls through him. "Why is your client interested in that?"

Giran shrugs. "Beats me!" He laughs.

“Okay. Why would I ever give criminal scum like you information like that," he scoffs. It’s not a question, even as... troubling... as this exchange has been. He’ll have to report the strange & cruel ruse.

“Because you want to know what really happened to your old pal Oboro, of course." Shouta’s body locks up to even hear the name, let alone tossed around so casually. The weight of what Giran’s saying truly hits him then—intel regarding the incident, implicates all sorts of characters, what really happened. Giran sees this & grins around his cigarette. "What? It’s just a schedule," he drawls. "Even if my client wished a class of highschoolers any harm, do you not have faith in yourself & UA to protect them? You have All Might on staff now, for god’s sake."

Shouta hesitates. It’s enough of a betrayal in itself.

"& after we get you everything you need to know, you can tell your boss. We don’t ask for your permanent silence; it’s just that for now the matter is... delicate." He taps the ash from the tip of his cigarette, shaking his head. "It’s filthy business, really—like I said, it involves lots of types who’d rather it be kept quiet." A wink, then. "& it’s not like we’re asking a lot from you either—it’s a steal, if you ask me."

Implication of people ‘who’d rather it be kept quiet?’ On the subject of... him?

The trade is simple enough, so long as he can guarantee his students‘ safety. & he’s naïve, in his vulnerable state, & fiercely believes he WILL protect them. & he WILL get Oboro the justice he deserves.

Shouta makes the trade a day later, a sick feeling to his stomach. On the schedule: the location for USJ.

Shouta becomes responsible for nearly getting his students, the Symbol of Peace, & himself killed. & it’s abundantly clear he’s made a deal with the devil—Giran’s 'client' doubtlessly being the League of Villains themselves. Ultimately, the League failed, but they were close. Too close. & the weight of it is on Shouta’s shoulders.

At the very least, it leads to the capture of one of their strongest weapons, the Nomu, which is, repulsively, determined to have once been human. A human modified beyond recognition.

Giran has some nerve calling after this. Shouta answers his phone with a vengeance. Giran opens with poison praise: "See, I told you you could do it!"

The rage & pain of USJ comes to a boil under Shouta’s skin, least of all the fact that it was for nothing. "You told me nothing about Oboro," Shouta hisses despite himself, the words spilling unbidden from traitorous, unheroic lips.

“Oh, I do believe we did, hero. Your investigators aren't completely incompetent at digging out some answers. But here’s an extra bonus for your trouble: Shirakumo Oboro is alive. He was taken after the incident reported to have killed him." He gives it a beat to sink in as Shouta sputters. “We’ll be in touch."

Giran ends the call.

Shouta doesn’t tell anyone about the contact, about his role in what happened. His end of the deal was silence. Temporary silence. He’ll confess. To all of it. But he needs time. He needs to know they’re lying. Or worse... that they’re not.

& Giran does contact him again, in person, directly before the students’ summer training camp. Shouta knows exactly what they’re after coming to him now of all times. He doesn’t let Giran get a word in; he’s not giving them any more information, vehemently refusing to hear anything out despite Giran’s silver-tongued talk about his friend, no matter how much it rips him up inside. Lies, they’re all lies. He’ll turn himself in for what he’s done & detail what he’s learned. But no one will lay another hand on his students.

Giran sighs, holds up his hands at Shouta’s glowing eyes & floating capture weapon. “Alright, alright, you’ve made your point, Eraser. Sorry to bother you, but don’t shoot the messenger, okay?" Giran breathes a little easier when Shouta blinks, stepping toward the door. "& since I’m such a good little messenger, I can tell you this much: You might want to check up on your students at the mall."

Shouta runs for it. He’s too late. Police cars surround the building by the time he gets there.

The camp location is moved. Everything is top secret.

But it doesn’t change anything. Shouta doesn’t know until the hospital that Giran used that meeting to track his phone.

& now Bakugou has been kidnapped. If anything were to happen to him...

It’s his fault. His lapse in judgment did this, his actions did this, his silence did this.

He calls Giran while his students are in the hospital & one of them is captured. "You took my kid," he growls into the phone. "I’ll rip you apart."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa there, Eraser! I had no part in that. I never get my hands dirty—"

"—Save it for someone who cares. I don’t have time for this. Contact your—your client. I want to make another trade."

Giran is silent on the end for a long minute & then, "I’ll see what I can do."

Giran calls back shortly after, saying they can make an arrangement, "But this one is a little more... slippery than our previous offers. There’s lots of pieces on the board, you must understand. I was told to ask you the following: what do you think you can offer my clients? Just so that both sides can get an understanding of each other."

"Anything," he snarls. “Bakugou is a child; I’m—we’re—not bargaining with his life."

Giran hums, interested. "I’m sure my clients will be interested in hearing that. Shall we arrange a meeting to discuss terms? Say... a few hours? Same place as our last rendezvous?"

& Shouta fully readies himself to give up anything—that’s his kid. They’ll understand, he tells himself. They’ll understand.

But then Momo arrives with that tracker. He’s shaking as he calls to cancel the meeting with Giran, but his voice is steady. He has a conference, he tells him. They’ll have to postpone it until afterward.

Hizashi bursts into the room shortly after he makes the call, worried sick. Hizashi gets him in a tight hug, crushing his soul back into his body as Shouta trembles with what he almost did, with how Momo probably saved him too with that move. Already heroes & they don’t even realize it. Hizashi whispers about how Shouta did everything he could, how it’ll be okay, how they’ll get him back. Hizashi kisses his head, then, & apologizes for being late. He cracks a wry joke about how he’s glad he got here before Shouta could do something stupid.

Shouta buries his head in his husband’s chest. Hizashi’s smile fades. They both know how more truth rings in that statement than Shouta wants to talk about. Hizashi clings to him fiercely. Together, it says. We’ll get through this together.

Of course, then Hizashi announces the obvious to the gathered team of heroes on the case: that there’s a traitor in their midst.

Hizashi kisses the traitor good luck before his press conference.

The events of Kamino Ward unfold, terrifying & devastating in their consequences.

Shouta receives Giran’s call before the dust is even settled. They've lost the Symbol of Peace. The League has vanished. “WELL Eraserhead, that’s what we in the business call a double-crossing."

"Consider it payback for endangering my students."

Giran’s voice is cold, impersonal, empty of its usual snake’s charm, "I think you’ve done that all on your own, Eraser."

Shouta hangs up the phone. This isn't the end of their entanglement & he knows it.

(pt. 9)

[deckerswheeler]

let’s break this down, shall we?

**disclaimer!! this is not meant to be an attack on this person! i am only going to be counterclaiming their points or explaining why they are incorrect. i do not mean any harm in this post**

1. “mike/el and mike/will do not parallel each other” this is incorrect. mileven and byler have been paralleled throughout the seasons. for example, when el is stuck in the void and the upside down, the camera zooms in on her and pans out as she screams for mike. the same thing happens when will is in the upside down on halloween after the bullies push him over. it has the same camera angles, same type of music, and the same idea. they both call for mike.

2. byler has groundwork. from season one episode one they have been seen as closer than the other boys. they spent almost the entirety of season two together. the crazy together scene, hand holding scene, and shed scene alone should set their relationship apart from their relationships with the other members of the party. neither mike nor will act that way with dustin, max, or lucas. mike literally said asking will to be his friend was the best thing he’s ever done. if their season two relationship doesn’t show you how much groundwork they have, i don’t know what else will.

3. how are byler shippers “blindly ignorant to how writing works”?? sorry, but last time i checked, stranger things isn’t just a base level “you get what you see” type of show. the duffers have clarified many times that they don’t write at the surface level. everything they do has a purpose. that means minute details that seem like meaningless, second-long clips, could be symbols or easter eggs. many mileven shippers, (not all but a lot), only tend to see what is put in front of them. when in reality, that’s not what stranger things is. if you aren’t reading between the lines or taking note of small details while watching, key aspects of the show could fly over your head.

4. this one is almost laughable. mileven has most definitely NOT been set up as romantic since episode one. first of all, mike and el didn’t even properly meet until episode two. and even then, mike was ready and willing to report her to social services! the only reason why he kept her for so long was because once he found out about her powers, he knew there was a chance of finding will again. he called her a weapon halfway through the first season, i don’t think that’s very romantic. yes, they became close friends early on, but there was not ANY romantic coding until the episode with their first kiss!! obviously mike developed a crush on el, she’s the first girl that ever gave him attention. not only that, but he was living through the trauma of maybe losing his closest friend forever! he was projecting those feelings onto el, while el literally thought they would be like siblings until mike kissed her-- she had no clue it was even romantic.

5. saying mike and will have zero romantic subtext is just plain bullshit. i stated a lot of it in point 2, but there is so much more. in season 3 for example, mike basically outs will during their fight. (some people like to claim that mike was referring to will’s immaturity, but there are so many other ways they could’ve phrased that. like i already stated, the duffers claim nothing they do is accidental, so why would they make that line so vague? it was referring to will being gay. along with all of will’s other gay coding throughout the series, i.e. lonnie calling him the f slur, troy and his friends calling him q***r and a fairy as well as making fun of him for being gay, hopper acting grossed out by will being gay and asking joyce “is he?”) then, mike tries to apologize and travels all around hawkins in the pouring rain!! just to find will. and don’t even get me started on the “not possible” scene... if y’all don’t see the CLEAR flirting in that scene,,,,,, i got news for you lol

6. saying that byler shippers just like “fetishizing handsome white boys” is absolutely disgusting and a gross generalization. i assure you that that is NOT the reason why we ship byler. it’s more or less because we are sick of seeing solely straight couples rushed into a relationship on little to no foundation or build-up and honestly makes no sense when you think about it (cough cough mileven), when there is a relationship with 10x more development right there that isn’t canon simply because it is not heterosexual. we also ship byler because it is a breath of fresh air to see young gay/bi characters and a healthy mlm relationship, if byler became canon it would make thousands of kids so happy who just want to see themselves on the screen! aside from that, we ship byler because of the countless hints, coding, potential, etc, the show has provided.

7. finally, telling us we need to “use a brain cell,” calling us delusional, saying we’re “bending the narrative,” is just mean. there was no reason to make personal attacks towards the people who ship byler. i see people shipping mileven every day and i am not calling them delusional or stupid because they choose to ship it. people are free to interpret the show however they like and ship whatever they want. if anything, you’re the one who is denying canon by acting like mike and will have no foundation or meaningful relationship. also, we’re not “pretending it’s inevitable”??? no one knows how the duffers are going to write the show. mileven could be canon now, and break up later. byler could happen in season 4-5, and it might not. no one knows, so the fact that you felt the need to bash byler shippers for their own opinion and interpretation of the show is pretty sad.

**again... i respect all ships, and i am not trying to attack this person. if i seem harsh it’s because they were SOOO disrespectful in their post towards byler shippers. i know not all mileven shippers are like this, but i wanted to clear up some of this one’s points and share my point of view. i also don’t agree with their behavior and how they addressed people with a different view than them, so i couldn’t let it go.**

[kagrenacs]

Explaining the Iceberg #4

I covered most things in this, but not everything. Every previous post I’ve made describing the tes iceberg I found on google image search can be found here x

Lorkhan’s purposeful failure: Lorkhan was the first spirit to go beyond the universe to see the tower, but didn’t achieve CHIM. He likely did this on purpose to show others how not to do it, and to demonstrate that it was difficult for et’ada to achieve this state because they simply don’t have the boundaries (such as death) that mortals do.

The World-Egg: The universe and the 12 previous Kalpas, everything within existence

The Khajiit Tower: this reddit thread https://www.reddit.com/r/teslore/comments/3oh7wf/the_khajiit_tower/ for everyone’s sake i’ll spare you the details of Jungian psychology, TL;DR the khajiit are a ‘tower’ made to hold up the universe and aspects of this

The Grabbers: Mentioned in the 36 lessons, a race of people in Lyg who are said to ‘have never built a city of their own’ there are theories that these are in fact Magne-Ge, due to their connection to Lyg by Mehrunes Dagon

AE: ‘is’ in ehlnofex, can be interpreted as a state of being

Shezzar became Akatosh: The only solid reference i could find was this thread, that immediately discusses how this is probably incorrect http://www.gamesas.com/could-lorkhan-have-jyggalag-t74581-25.html

The Monkey-Truth: Markuth’s teachings, also a website of tes fanfiction writers and roleplayers 

Red Moment: The potential Dragon Break at Red Mountain

The Provisional House: Mentioned in the 36 Lessons, called ‘a space that is not a space’ that Vivec observes the events of Nirn from. It may possibly protect Vivec from dangers associated with this.

Alandro Sul: The Shield-Companion to Nerevar. Sometimes called ‘the immortal-son of Azura’. After being blinded by Wulfharth, he went to live with the Ashlanders of Vvardenfell and is credited with spreading the idea that the Tribunal killed Nerevar

CHIM: To put simply, the process and state where a person realizes their place within the universe and is able to manipulate the laws of the universe as they see fit. Often associated with the concept of ‘Love’

Skaal Secrets: Discussed in the Dragonborn DLC, it’s unknown what their secrets are, but the Skaal report that they’ve kept them a secret from Hermaeus Mora for generations

The World’s Teeth: Mentioned in the 36 lessons of Vivec, sermon 17. Vivec takes Nerevar to the edge of the world, where they see ‘the bottom row of the world’s teeth’ as Vivec states. This may possibly reference a glitch in Redguard. (as a side note: The Legend of Zelda Breath of the Wild, a game that’s confirmed to have taken inspiration from the Elder Scrolls, has an area on the map, near the edge of the world with a row of spikes similar to what’s described here. This might be just coincidence, but I sure enjoy it)

Dagoth Ur’s Endgame: Speculation on what Dagoth Ur’s final plans actually are. He speaks of his desire to remove the Empire from Morrowind, and unite the Dunmer under the 6th House, but beyond that there’s little to go off of.  Ultimately this is just speculation and theories, mostly on what he plans to do with the Anumidium, and how that could possibly have adverse affects on reality.

Pelinal Cyborg from the Future: Another bit of obscure MK lore that’s not implemented in-game. This derives from the description of Pelinal having a ‘left hand made of a killing light’  ‘PELIN-EL [which is] "The Star-Made Knight" [and he] was arrayed in armor [from the future time].’ and his survival of being decapitated. While the text directly states he is from the future, there’s no ingame canon text stating he is a cyborg.

Reymon Ebonarm is Reman: The thought that Ebonarm, a God of War is the same person as Reman, emperor of Cyrodiil. There’s several theories dedicated to this, with different variants on the specifics.

The Enantiomorph: Directly tied to the concept of mantling and the Fourth Walking Way. Put simply, there are three participants in this. Two combatants who are very much alike and trying to become the ‘Ruling King’ and an observer who determines who wins, this observer usually becomes maimed as a result of this. 

The Third Moon: Two different things, a metaphorical or literal secret moon important to the Khajiit that only appears when Masser and Secunda are aligned, preceding the birth of a Mane. The second option is the Necromancer’s Moon, the godly form of Mannimarco.

The Walkabout: A concept in Yokudan religion. The process of spirits surviving one Kalpa to the next, facilitated by Tall Papa

White-Gold Doomsday device: I remember reading this theory a few years back, unfortunately I cannot find the exact page for the life of me. The Tl;DR on this is the White-Gold Tower is a weapon of mass destruction, either literally or in metaphysical terms (being connected to Akatosh and it’s status as a Tower). The closest thing I can find to it is this thread which describes the motives of Umbra in the novels, and how it could potentially take over Tamriel using the White-Gold Tower http://www.gamesas.com/doomsday-scenario-t69430.html

Jiub was the Nerevarine: Self explanatory, headcanon that Jiub was the Nerevarine, similar to a headcanon on tumblr that stated Teldryn Sero was the Nerevarine

House Dwemer: Mentioned as a House within The War of the First Council (which is written by an Imperial for Western Scholars) and The Lost Prophecy (written by a Dunmer) This could be interpreted in a couple different ways. A) The first book was certainly written for western readers, while there is no evidence for this being the case for the latter, it can’t be ruled out. ‘House’ is used as a simplification B) The Dwemer were considered a house, but perhaps not in the way we would initially think (being on the Great House Council)  They were grouped into a singular entity, rather than distinct clans within a cultural group (either during the First Council or posthumously) 

When Dead Gods Dream: https://www.imperial-library.info/content/when-dead-gods-dream referencing this thread. Discusses the mechanisms of Dagoth Ur’s godhood, the thread explains it better than I can here, TL;DR Dagoth Ur is not alive, but he is within the realms of gods and therefor is able to ‘project’ himself onto Tamriel and the minds of his followers.

Khajiit ended the Metheric Era: Nothing found for this

Parabolic Kalpa: A parabola is a symmetrical U-shaped curve. This theory essentially tries to explain why Skyrim is so low magic, compared to it’s history or even ESO. The thought is that as time goes on, the world becomes less connected to Divinity. Towers are destroyed and the gods are gone, but eventually things will begin to kick off again, and there will be a rise in magic, technology and the connection to these beings. Essentially tries to explain why C0da and Loveletter from the 5th era are more high magic compared to the actual games. 

Sithis: Secret Lesson from Vivec: Connects the both Sithis with the 36 lessons by terminology (The Sharmat, false dreamer ect.) and proposes Vivec may have written the book

Bendu Olo: Colovian King, may have been related to Olaj Olo, nordic demigod of mead. Also used as a placeholder name for the player character in Oblivion and the name of the dev’s test character in Skyrim

Trinimac still lives: An ESO lorebook states the Ashpit, realm of Malacath, extends into Aetherius. Some orcs also believe Malacath is nothing more than a demon presenting himself as the remnants of Trinimac. A r/teslore theory states that Malacath wears two faces. While I assume this is the Iceberg author’s sole reference, I propose this could (should) refer to another theory. (Another theory is similar to this on teslore, proposed around the same time, but this one connects the dots)  https://boethiah.tumblr.com/post/621058598373588993/tsun-is-the-shield-brother-of-shor-and-trinimac 

The Aedra are Dead: Seemingly a common topic on teslore. A basic concept in tes, the Aedra gave most of their powers to Mundus to stabilize it.  Their bodies remain as planets, and they can only have limited interactions with Nirn. 

Divayth Fyr was the Hero of Battlespire: An old theory that looks at artifacts in Divayth Fyr’s possession and ties them back to the tes spinoff Battlespire. There are holes in this theory (Divayth Fyr was a seasoned mage at the time the hero was an apprentice)

Three Talin’s: The default name given to the Eternal Champion is Talin, a character creation scenario proposes that their father was also named Talin, and finally Uriel Septim VII’s general was named Talin Warhaft.

Pelagius I was killed by the Underking: The Arcturian Heresy states that the Underking appeared as an advisor to Pelagius I, who was assassinated by the Dark Brotherhood. This theory is a possibility considering the amminosity between Tiber Septim and both components of the Underking. 

Tsaesci Goa’uld: Goa’uld are a species from Stargate that are parasites towards humans. This theory proposes that the Tsaesci are similar, explaining the inconsistencies of their appearance within the lore.

Lunar currency: The thought that the Aedra and Daedra use mortal souls like currency

Historic Star Inconsistencies: Possibly referring to the variations of the number of days within the year in Arena, not sure about this one

Mnemoli/Star Orphans:Mnemoli is either a specific Magne-Ge (spirits that fled the creation of Mundus after Magnus), or a group of them that only appears during a Dragon Break (often nicknamed the ‘Blue Star’) MK states that they’re the writers and distributors of the physical Elder Scrolls (however this contradicts ingame books, so take it with a grain of salt). Star Orphans may or may not refer to Magne-Ge as a whole. Vehk’s book of hours state's them as a ‘group or tribe’ regardless, Mnemoli falls under this secondary classification (along with Merid-Nuda and Xero-Lyg, I have my own thoughts on this which would be better explained in another post) 

Bosmer Hircine worship: Seemingly referring to a thread on 4pleb, I will not be summarizing this theory here because I’m smart and not going onto 4pleb of all places. But from canon content, Bosmer do not worship Hircine, and consider him a force that goes against Y’ffre and wants to return everything to it’s original state of chaos before the earthbones (Y’ffre being among them) stabilized things 

Septimus Signus Zero Sum: The theory that the aforementioned zero-summed at the end of Discerning the Transmundane in Skyrim. Essentially Septimus is in a fragile state, delving into the secrets of the universe and is being pushed by Hermaeus Mora, who may see him as a lab rat, into discovering things he isn’t meant to handle as a mortal, and consequently Zero-Sums. There’s holes in this, namely Zero-Summing supposedly removes all trace of existence. 

The Soft Doctrines of Magnus Invisible: A very obscure text by Douglas Goodall, discusses the binding of various gods

Abnegaurbic creed: An overly fancy word basically meaning religious beliefs, seen in Nu-Hattia Exerpt 

Dunmereth: A Nordic term for the area of Morrowind, during their occupation of it

Fifteen-and-One Golden Tones: A Dwemer term, possibly referring to the spheres of the Daedra, counting Sheo/Jyggalag as a singular entity. Also, the Dwemer swear by these 

Ideal Masters are God of Worms remnants: As Mannimarco is often said to be the first Lich, the existence of the ideal masters seems to contradict this (similar story with Azidal) this tries to rectify this by proposing that the Soul Carin is the Necromancer’s Moon, and the ideal masters are remnants of Mannimarco. This theory doesn’t hold up when examined, but is cool nonetheless. 

Sermon 37: Found in ESO, an extra sermon to the 36 lessons, ties in concepts present in c0da like amaranth. (interestingly on this list Sermon Zero is never mentioned, despite it being older and more interesting imo, but to discuss that would require lots of work)

Flying Whales: Mentioned in Aldudagga. A now extinct species. The bone bridge of Sovngarde could potentially be a reference to this.

Joy-Snow: It’s cocaine 

Mankar=Tharn: A theory that Mankar Cameron is Jagar Tharn, doesn’t hold much weight and relies mostly on the connection of Mehrunes Dagon

Sharmat: A term used to describe Dagoth Ur, an opposite to the Hortator, a force uniting people for evil. Implied to mean or be associated with ‘the False Dreamer’ a person whose view of the universe is similar to someone whose achieved CHIM, but sees themself as the center of it all, rather than a droplet in the ocean of the universe.

Pankratosword: A forbidden Yokudan sword technique that could ‘cut atoms’ similar to our modern day Nuclear Fission. A bit of etymology here, ‘Pankrato’ seems to refer to the word ‘Pankrator’ meaning all-powerful or almighty. 

Landfall: A concept from MK, a future event where Nirn is destroyed by the Numidium, and the people remaining relocate to the moons. 

Cylarne: The oldest ruin in the Shivering Isles, rumored to be the original capital. Home to the Cold Flame of Agnon

[hatake-no-sharingan]

A Well Loved Copy (PART 3: Darkness swallows us)

Kakashi x Reader

Story Summary: Your cozy life as a bookseller is disturbed when a box of the worst books you could ever imagine arrives at your store, and with them a certain silver haired ninja to whom you are definitely not attracted.  

PART 1   PART 2

Chapter summary: Kakashi goes on a mission, but things don't go as planned. Injured, and with his chakra almost gone, he has a strange dream that might change something in him.

Relationship: Kakashi x Reader

Warnings: Mentions blood and injuries

A/N: Hi guys! I know I'd promised to update this story every week or two weeks, but I've had a few things on my hands lately. I might take longer to update, but rest assure, I will finish the story (I have everything plotted already :) <3 This chapter was a bit hard to write, but it's necessary for the development. I hope you enjoy it, and I'll try to update again as soon as I can. Enjoy and let me know your thoughts.

P.S. This chapter is parallel to Part 2, it's just from Kakashi's POV so you know what's going on while Y/N is waiting for him at the bookstore.

Special thanks to my amazing editor @seventh-line Thanks to her hard work, this thing is readable. <3 I hope you enjoy it.

IF YOU WANT TO BE ADDED TO THE TAGLIST: CLICK HERE

Darkness swallows us

There was blood. So much blood. He was supposed to be used to it. He thought he was. Before him was a sea of red, adorned with a few colorful spots sporadically distributed across the landscape. Were those in his mind?

He certainly felt lightheaded, and perhaps a bit cold. There was a dull ache somewhere in his body, but he couldn’t pinpoint the spot.

As he tried to raise his left arm, a sharp pain in his shoulder let him know the blood belonged to him. Maybe he was even injured in other places he wasn’t yet aware of, the blood was far too much for a simple gash on his shoulder.

He tried to get past the pain, gaining more awareness of his body trying to sense the usual buzz of chakra. It was almost gone too, he felt it slipping just like his consciousness.  

He didn’t panic, however. His encounters with death had been one too many, he could almost say they were part of the job. He and pain, were now old friends.

Instead, he shut his eyes gently and let his head roll back, crashing with the soft grass.

He stood in front of the bookstore, the one he’d visited a while ago, in the search of the new edition of Icha Icha. Sunlight struck his eye violently. It took a few moments to adjust to the brightness

He looked inside the store, looking for her amongst the piles of “New arrivals” “Hottest summer reads” and “All time favorites”. She was there, arranging another pile. A gentle frowning on her face, forehead creased in concentration. She was so careful with each copy, placing them in a beautiful pyramid shape, akin to the others. He couldn’t see the title of the books she was arranging, but they were surely ones she cared for, based on the way she delicately handled them.

He observed her quietly, enjoying her calm movements. It must have been hot inside, because her cheeks started flushing, despite that, Kakashi felt cold.

A sudden urge to go inside hit him. He reached for the door handle, but his hand slipped right through. He tried again, but it seemed as if he was made of nothing. Just thin air.

From the inside, she lifted her gaze towards him, with a look of recognition, and he felt a wave of relief.

He made a move to open the door, however his hand passed right through the handle once more.

Then her expression changed abruptly, as she stared beyond Kakashi, as though he wasn’t there. Her eyes widened, fear written all over her delicate features.

Heart pounding, Kakashi turned around to see what had scared her, but saw nothing, just the plain old buildings.

She made panicked gestures towards Kakashi from the inside, and mouthed some words he couldn’t hear. It seemed like something important. there was a desperation in every move she made.

Confused, he tried again, only to watch his fingers slip through the handle for a second time.

She urged him to come in, her hands waving rapidly in front of him.

Now he was getting desperate. His head felt odd, almost as if he had stopped breathing seconds ago, and was  experiencing a lack of oxygen.

The bookseller’s face contorted with pain, and Kakashi saw that ribbons of darkness were wrapping around her body, consuming her.

He tried to call out, scream her name, but there was nothing there.

Seconds later, darkness had swallowed them both.

He awakened with a jolt.

His heart was beating so fast, like it was trying to escape his chest. He took a gulp of air and was satisfied to feel the way it filled his lungs. He studied his surroundings and it seemed he was alone, in the middle of a forest. His body felt drained, and his head still felt cloudy, so he closed his eyes again.

“Kakashi Sensei?” Said a familiar voice.

“Is he awake?” a deeper voice asked

“I don’t know, I thought I saw him move”

“I don’t think he’s awake”

“Kakashi Sensei, can you hear us?”

Kakashi nodded slightly, eyes still closed due to the sickness, though he know recognized the voices as Kurenai’s three students.

“Try not to move much, Sensei. I’ll go fetch Sakura, Hinata stay here with him. Make sure he’s okay.”

"Yes, of course"

Hinata sat next to him and kept quiet. Her silence was very much appreciated by the tired jonin.

He must’ve fallen asleep again, because when he regained consciousness, Sakura and the Godaime were staring down at him.

“Oh good. You’re awake. I’ve cleaned most of your serious wounds and given you medicine. All that you need to do now is rest so you can restore your chakra.”

The hospital’s cold atmosphere gave him a strange sense of serenity. He didn’t know how he got here, hopefully he hadn’t been too much of a burden on the team.

“Now that we know he’ll survive, tell me, Sakura. What went wrong?” Asked Tsunade as she finished wrapping one last bandage around Kakashi’s arm wound.

The mission was supposed to be simple. Locate and report. He’d done it so many times, and this time, he had a really good team with him. Team 8 and Sakura had come to help him find one of Orochimaru’s rumored hideouts.  With their talents as trackers, they managed to find the location quickly, however, they weren’t expecting to be met with a dozen of Orochimaru’s experiments, led by none other than Kabuto.

The kids were good fighters, but the odds weren’t in their favor with the enemy doubling their own numbers. Kakashi’s instincts had kicked in, so he put himself between the young shinobi and Orochimaru’s men, if one could even call them human. Kakashi took them all out, though it had come at a great cost.

His chakra reserves were almost emptied, and his wounds had caused him to lose too much blood. That’s how he ended up here.

Kakashi was deemed unfit to fill out the mission report, due to his injuries, a silver lining in this mess. Sakura  meticulously explained everything to the Godaime, turning in a beautifully written, and extremely detailed report, unlike the one he would’ve done.

His time in the hospital went by excruciatingly slow. He had a few visits, none very interesting since they all lasted at the most 5 minutes. Everyone was busier, and not even Gai had had the time to entertain him as usual. Kakashi had been desperate to get out of there.

The only thing that seemed to occupy his mind, was the image of the bookseller, as he flipped through the pages of his book. However, that too left him uneasy, as he recalled the images he had seen in his delirium. Whenever he pictured her, a deep fear gripped his heart, as he was reminded of the darkness he’d seen swallow her. Nightmare or not, he needed to get out and see her.

———-

Kakashi was discharged from the hospital two weeks later, just in time or he would’ve attempted an escape.

He now stood in front of the bookstore again. His hand shook as he grasped the handle, but immediate relief hit him when he made contact with the warm metal. He sighed, and pushed the door open, eager to see the face that had haunted his dreams.

"Hello, welcome to Red Leaf Bookshop. Can I help you with anything?" Called out a petite woman from behind the counter. His stomach sank when he realized, it wasn’t whom he’d been looking for.

Taglist: @incorrect-titans-quotes @iwanttobesomeone @galaxydefenderjulia@artlovingloser @sachi-sims @savemefromthispayne @maimori @alexanderlightwoodii @mazakiackerman @tshuuls @aubraella @kleklerosa @theunknownrandom

[liam-cadmus]

truth

/tro͞oTH/

noun

the quality or state of being true

Sasuke stays in Konoha, ANBU

Sasuke bites back a sigh, leaning back on his chair with crossed arms. Kakashi’s lone eye crinkles in amusement, making him scowl at his teacher, the man chuckling quietly.

His fingers rhythmically taps on the wooden table, unattentive to the elders exchanging their opinions on the matter, catching Tsunade’s eye. She smirks at him, before he drops his head down on the table, ignoring the loud voices of the elders screeching.

“Are we boring you, Uchiha?” Danzo’s voice asks, making him blink in annoyance, before smiling politely, sitting straighter. “Not at all, Danzo-sama.” 

Kakashi’s masked lips turn upwards, his bastard of a teacher finding this amusing, even if he’s tempted to shunshin behind Danzo and rip the Sharingan embedded in his eyesocket. 

“Then, do you have something to share to the table?” he asks, Sasuke humming, his thumb picking on the thread of the uchiwa symbol on his flak jacket before leaning forwards. 

Danzo sees that as a sign to continue, before he links his fingers under his chin, sharp onyx eyes regarding the man. “Hn,” he says, before leaning down to get a stack of papers, gently placing it in front of him.

“I have something that I want clarification, if you don’t mind, Shimura.” he says calmly, his teeth bared and stretched to a smile. The bandaged old man closes his opened mouth before Sasuke slowly stands up, separating the stack to five folders, and passing it to Inoichi and Shikaku, the other clan heirs watching him from where they’re seated on the left of the room.

Inoichi glares at the paper as if it offended him, before Sasuke sits down once again. “I noticed you have bandages, what might have happened that caused that?” 

“Second shinobi war.” The man stiffly responds before Sasuke leans back on his chair comfortably, pretending to look at his nails. “And the medics have told you to wear it ever since?” he asks, the elders glaring at him, shouting at how disrespectful it is. 

“What am I to judge, it’s personal, so I won’t push it on you.” he murmurs, his quiet voice unusually loud in the room, even if he didn’t raise the volume. “I would, and will not have asked you, if it didn’t concern me, however.” 

Shikaku and Inoichi stare at the other man, Kakashi and Tsunade mirroring them. “You broke a law, Shimura.” he hisses, “And I’m well damn sure that my clan doesn’t appreciate having their eyes getting plucked, nor seeing said eyes on your arm.”

The room quiets, the wind blowing across the room. Danzo stands in aggravation, before slamming his hands on the table, shouting, “I will not accept getting accused like this.”

“Well, you sure are proving you’re guilty then.” he says back, standing. “I have evidence, and you will stay seated until I finish my case, Shimura.” 

Their attention snaps to his cold, steely voice, and the Sharingan whirring in his eyes. Inoichi, the kind man, places his hand on his arm, squeezing it to help him calm down before he sits back down, Danzo looking at him with a pinched expression, before following his lead.

“Hokage-sama, I believe my case needs to be heard, so that our members would understand.” Tsunade nods, the Godaime’s face morphed to an emotionless look, but Kakashi and Sasuke both know she would’ve let him, any chance.

He takes the file he gave to Inoichi before flipping it through, then handing it to Tsume Inuzuka, the woman’s eyes reading through the file, before passing it along to Chouza, the paper systematically moving to each clan head. 

He licks his lips, before clearing his throat. “According to that file, that I have found in the Uchiha Archives in the compound, it is true that my clan planned a coup d’etat, and I am, in no way, approving or justifying their reasons, but I wanted to include this.”

The others nod apprehensively, before he shows another file containing the missing children. “As much of you know, a lot of children went missing, especially ones with the powerful kekkai genkai.” 

There’s a collected silence across the room. “I, as a child, would notice that our clan specifically kept having clan members, ranging from children to jounin.”

He taps his foot, “This, of course, made our clan even more scared, as no one can or will listen to us because of the Kyuubi attack. You must understand, that we were placed in the outskirts of Konoha, and that even if we were the Police Force, we are overshadowed by the ANBU. In addition to that, the hatred and distrust on Uchiha made it so we could not ask for help.”

He gathers his thoughts, before his hand tightens, “Most of them would be kidnapped, but there would be Uchiha thrown in our compound missing their eyes, dead. The breaking point was the 'death' of Uchiha,” he takes a deep breathe, before steeling his emotions once more, “Shisui.”

“I will not talk anymore about the coup, but instead, focus on the bodies that return with no eyes.” He glares at Danzo, before smacking one black colored file, “I was able to retrieve this, alongside reports from shinobi out of the village in my ANBU missions, talking about how, an old man with bandages on his arms and face kidnapped children from other villages.” 

He passes it. Danzo grits his teeth, before snarling, “You’re not allowed to enter our headquarters, and you shouldn’t have that.” 

“Astute observation. Sai and Shin, helped me, along with Hatake Kakashi and Tenzo. Three of whom, are evidences to ROOT, with the cursed seal on their tongues.” 

The three mentioned men walk out of the shadows, curling their tongue to show the imprinted seal. “I don’t give a damn, if the Uchiha did plan a coup d’etat, and I’m pissed that my brother was roped into killing his kin, but what I do not tolerate is the fact you have my clan members Sharingan in your arms and eye, and whatever else you did to the rest.”

He pushes a dark red file away, “That is for later, if you see to understand Itachi’s situation.”

He smiles menacingly, before flicking open a dark grey file, the uchiwa fan on the front, “I want permission to be given to investigate this case, and if it is proven, that if we remove the bandages, and that my clan’s dojutsu appears, that this will be investigated further.”

Tsunade opens her mouth to approve, when Hiashi Hyuuga lifts a brow and asks, “And why is that the Hyuugas not notice the apparent eyes.”

Sasuke resists the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose, choosing instead to breath deeply. “I don’t see why it matters, after all, if my claim was proven to be incorrect, then it will be dismissed.”

“It does matter to me, it shows that you see our eyes incapable of noticing it.”

“I did not mention anything about your clan’s involvement.” 

Hiashi Hyuuga’s stern white eyes and the veins popping by his temple makes a terrifying image, but he must not have seen an Uchiha angry. His anger has been simmering underneath, and he has been keeping it in ever since Danzo’s act of innocence earlier.

“There are two laws in Konohagakure ; village and clan laws.” he seethes, “I am showing you a case, of a clan law being broken, and this is Uchiha matters, and only to the Uchiha.” 

“Please do not intervene in my clan affairs Hyuuga-san, I have been giving you nothing but respect, recognition, and courtesy, and never have I mentioned about the branch family’s seal, do you not see?” he growls, Hiashi’s eyes widening at the pure anger in his tone.

Sasuke dismisses his silence, before turning, “I am a clan head, and before Fugaku’s passing, has been trained to be one. My parents have offered my brother to you as a weapon, and he has proven his loyalty. Be it as it may, my clan has betrayed the village’s trust, but the village has broken ours.”

“I will not let my clan be disregarded for all it’s contribution to this village, and I will not allow you to dig it under lies and corruption, for the village’s ‘protection’.”

He breathes out deeply, only standing because of Inoichi’s grounding palm, “I have lost everything in one night, I only have my brother, and I’m not letting you take him away from me.”

“I ask you this for the peace of my clan, to avenge them from where they were mistreated, to let them rest. I was unable to burn their bodies as I was in the hospital unstable, and that alone, is a responsibility given to me. It was a clan tradition, and Shimura used that time to pluck their eyes. It is my right and duty as clan head to make sure the eyes are not taken as this is disrespect for the hard work of my clan members. You need to learn to listen.” he says, his voice wavering, but firm. 

Tsunade nods at him, “The village has been unfair to the Uchihas far too long, I promise you, I will do everything in my power, to restore it in it’s former glory. We will show the truth, but before that, Otter, Weasel, hold unto Danzo Shimura.

A pair of chakra cancelling handcuffs covers Danzo’s wrists, The Hokage just clicks her tongue at him, disgust etched in her features, the old man’s fear and hatred showing through widened eyes. 

“Crow, Hound, pull at the bandages please.” Kakashi walks over to the arm, holding the end of the bandage, “Of course, Hokage-sama.” 

Sasuke watches detached as the bandages pull free, multiple Sharingan eyes staring at him, making him stand blankly. He gasps, breathing heavy, before Shikaku helps him sit down, his hand clamping comfortingly on his shoulder. 

“Fugaku and Mikoto would have been so proud of you for defending your clan. You made to be a good clan head, and you brought justice to your clan.” Shikaku comforts him, as he chokes on a cry, biting his lips as the tears well up. He doesn’t let them fall, instead, blinking repeatedly for it to disappear. 

He will not let Danzo have the satisfaction of seeing him affected by his doings. 

He listens as Tsunade orders the ANBU around, Shikaku squeezing his shoulder before walking nearer Inoichi, the files filed on his arms. The two alongside Ibiki corner stand beside the Hokage, discussing about the interrogation. 

He lets himself slump on the chair, before Kakashi ruffles his hair, also moving away to include himself with the hurried murmurs of the four. The clan heads talk among themselves, but he would see one or two of them looking in his direction with acceptance, and respect. 

Kiba throws an arm around his shoulders, “Holy shit, that was Sasuke Uchiha as a clan head.” He grumbles pushing Kiba’s loud mouth away from his ear, raising an eyebrow, “Do you not believe in me, Wolf?”

Kiba gives him a toothy grin, “’Course not, Captain.” 

“You’re terrifying, good job.” Ino says, sitting down beside him. “You would have been such a good member to my Intelligence Team.” 

“Troublesome, utterly troublesome.” Shikamaru mutters, draping himself over Sasuke’s shoulders, Kiba moving away on instinct. “And this is our captain, don’t take him, Ino.” 

Ino raises two hands, before chuckling, “Shikamaru, I will never take your lover boy.” 

Shikamaru smacks her, before huffing, hiding his face in Sasuke’s hair. He chuckles softly, before letting the Nara doze off for a few minutes, reminding himself to wake him up. 

Ino stands to go to Hinata, to their other fellow graduates, the tight-knit group of Konoha called uh, Konoha 12. Kiba pats him on the arm, before standing from Shikaku’s seat, making him move Shikamaru down to the seat. He moves the Nara’s arms so that it pillows his head, smoothing down his ponytail before fixing his flak jacket. 

Someone drops to the seat to his left, “You’re scary in clan meetings, pretty boy.” 

He takes one look before huffing in amusement, giving a wry smile. “I suppose so.” 

“You got some guts to stand up to the Hyuuga head.” Neji drawls, bored, but one look to his eyes shows his gratitude. “Owl, I’m your captain, and I think there’s times I can stand for people.”

“Thank you, Hawk.” he says, before standing, looking over his shoulder to smirk smugly, “Meet at Ichiraku Ramen with the group, bring your Nara boy with.” 

He glowers at Neji, the Hyuuga already walking out the door behind the group, leaving him to wake up Shikamaru. He sees Tsunade and the others filtering out the room, making him shake the asleep teen. 

“Such a drag.” Shikamaru yawns, movements sluggish. He sighs, before tugging at Shikamaru’s arms, so that the Nara doesn’t fall asleep on them again. “Stand up you lazy ass.” 

Shikamaru looks at him with a drowsy eye, half-asleep. “Such a drag.” he repeats to Sasuke’s face, just to spite the man. Sasuke stares back with disinterest, “I won’t hesitate to throw you over my shoulder, Nara.” 

“Do it then,” Shikamaru challenges, making him pout. He lifts a brow to warn Shikamaru, his barely awake brain unable to notice it before he’s thrown over his ANBU Captain’s shoulder, making him shriek. 

He irritable crosses his arms, before saying in a deadpan, “Why are Uchiha so stubborn.”

Sasuke’s tongue peeks out, “You asked for it. And you already know I can carry you.” he says smugly, laughing when the Nara kicks a foot to his stomach. 

Sasuke’s grip on his thighs tighten, “I’m not gonna let you fall y’know, but that doesn’t mean you can take a nap.” he snorts, “I’ll let you sleep while they’re talking, Naruto’s gonna be loud after his visit in Suna, he’s gonna babble about Gaara again.” 

Shikamaru smiles, “Good thing I learned how to sleep in loud places, and you promise you’ll allow me to sleep? On your lap?”

“Sure,” he agrees, “You can sleep anywhere, Shika. I sometimes wonder how you’re a jonin and a ANBU.” 

A pinch to his back makes him bark out a laugh, the sound startling the chuunin and jonin around the hallway, making him flush in embarrassment. “Sorry.” he says flushing, the shinobi barely concealing their amused and surprised faces, after hearing the deep laugh of the usually stoic Uchiha.

“You scared them,” Shikamaru laughs, making him retort, pinching Shikamaru’s ass, “I did not.”

Shikamaru kicks a foot out in surprised laughter, making Sasuke hold him tighter. “Nara, calm down.” he snickers between stuttering breaths, laughing quietly. 

Sasuke smirks, patting the back of his knees, “Hold tight, you know how fast I can shunshin.” Shikamaru twists his fingers in Sasuke’s cloak, before being carried in intense speeds, feeling himself standing on wobbly knees, Sasuke’s amused face staring at him. 

“I hate Shisui Uchiha, why did he teach you pointers when you were young.” he breathes out, making Sasuke smile. 

“Come on, Deer.” He gets pulled in the shop, moving to on of the rented rooms, down to a long couch. He exhales in relief when his head drops to Sasuke’s thigh, his body sinking, and eyes drooping. 

Sasuke gives a quiet chuckle, before whispering, “Sleep babe.” 

Sasuke hums as he runs his fingers through his lover’s brunette locks, kissing his forehead. He lets his other hand intertwine with Shikamaru’s other hand, his own head falling on the back of the couch. 

He lets his friends’ voices lull him to sleep, his intertwined hand resting on top of Shikamaru’s chest. His mouth slips to a smile when the memory of proving his clan came to mind, before his breath stops. 

His eyes flick open, before he gasps. Otter was Shisui’s ANBU, and Weasel was his brother’s. An ANBU mask and animal is burned or thrown once they failed to pass it on, or if they died. 

“Miss me twerp?” 

Thought of clan head Sasuke after Danzo because of the stolen eyes. Loved the thought of him standing up to Hiashi about clan affairs. Included Sasuke and Shikamaru because I craved it. (I always do.) Wanted Itachi and Shisui alive. (Uchiha Quartet + Kakashi, is my life and soul. Misunderstood socially inept tall ass men that were all ANBU operatives.) And no, Shin did not die, I do not want anymore brothers getting separated.

[emblemxeno]

Interesting to see some semblance of Soleil discourse again. I hated her when i played fates, and was genuinly surprised that people really loved her. Do you think a lot of her shittier aspects were from Fates' shoddy translation, or was she always sort of bad?

Sorry for this taking so long! I figured I might as well make this a sort of definitive post about Soleil since I talk about her a lot, so I put some more research and effort into it than I initially planned.

Soleil’s writing does have a lot of differences between the Japanese version and localization, but I have many, many issues with both.

Japanese Soleil

Soleil in the Japanese version of Fates is, to put it simply, a train wreck. As we know, her defining trait is her love of girls. However, with Soleil it goes past attraction and flirting into outright predatory behavior. 

In many of her Japanese supports, Soleil creeps around girls, be it generic girls off-screen, or her female support partners. She hits on her mother in their support, she plans to sneak behind girls and embrace them out of nowhere in her support with Ignatius, and she harasses Ophelia and planned to get a better look at the latter’s figure in the tents when they switched bodies.

But the absolute worst was her Japanese support with Forrest. 

Basically, she’s chasing Forrest around because she’s convinced he’s a girl, despite him telling her over and over that he isn’t. Soleil is extra creepy in this one, saying things like “I can’t hold myself back anymore” and “I won’t do anything bad, so just give in.” Forrest goes so far as to even compare her to a wild animal stalking its prey.

Forrest then tells Soleil once again that he’s a boy, and what does she do? She asks him to prove it by getting naked and bathing with her. Forrest, of course, refuses again. Soleil then finds out from others around camp that Forrest was telling the truth; but she still can’t keep her urges down and keeps making unwanted advances and touches towards him.

That entire support is extreme sexual harassment. It is one of the worst supports I have ever read, especially since it’s played for laughs and it can later advance into an actual relationship between them. Treehouse did realize how bad this support was, and changed it from the ground up into something completely different, which is one of the very few things I will thank them for.

Now, localized Soleil is another beast entirely. Before going into my issues with her localized version, I’ll explain the context behind her trope.

A History Lesson

Soleil’s character at its core is based on the Class S trope. Class S is a Japanese term describing romantic friendships between girls. It’s origin and popularity is owed to things like western women’s literature (such as Little Women) being translated for Japanese audiences back in the early 20th century and the all-women Takarazuka Revue theater being established; these helped cultivate feelings of sisterhood and a sense of romance for young female audiences, especially since most schools at the time in Japane kept boys and girls separate. While there was a decline in the Class S genre after Japanese schools became more co-ed, it has made a resurgence in popularity ever since the late 90′s with light novels like Maria-sama ga Miteru.

Class S had a rather big impact on Japanese society, where it was actually expected to happen and treated as something wonderful for these kinds of close friendships to develop between young girls.

However. These aren’t treated as real romantic relationships. They’re seen as nothing more than a phase. After adolescence, girls are expected to ‘mature’ or ‘graduate’ in a sense, into a real relationship with a man. To still have Class S relationships with other girls when you’re supposed to be in a “real” relationship is seen as a sign of immaturity.

Soleil Herself

So what does this mean with Soleil? Lots of her supports in Japanese have other characters being bewildered or even annoyed by her continued love for girls, because “she’s technically an adult now, shouldn’t she have grown out of that phase?” 

Shigure gets surprised that she’s trying to learn how to sing to impress girls. F!Corrin wonders why she won’t give up her mindset already. Soleil gets jealous of Asugi’s popularity with girls and childishly tries to imitate him. Sophie says she doesn’t have time for Soleil’s antics because the former is trying to be a mature, devoted knight. Ophelia is frustrated that they can’t be “normal” friends instead of Soleil chasing her around and proclaiming her love.

They treat her obsession/love for girls as something childish for an adult woman like her to still have, much like Japanese society does. Soleil is Class S.

Soleil does actually get a chance to technically grow out of this phase, much like adult women are expected to. She ‘graduates’ into adulthood once she becomes romantically involved with her male romance options in the Japanese version; a “real” relationship.

As a gay man, you can probably guess how I feel about this trope. While it has had impact on helping Japan ease up on its more conservative beliefs and lots of Class S media has been created by actual queer women (like Nobuko Yoshiya), it’s still not a great feeling when same sex relationships are basically treated as not real or just a phase in someone’s life. It sucks, especially when I think the Japanese Rhajat/F!Corrin support is one of best in Fates. But enough about me, what does this have to do with localized Soleil?

Where The Localization Fumbled

Since she was already getting her fair share of controversy thanks to the many incorrect reports of conversion therapy during her support with M!Corrin, Treehouse decided to go the whole mile and rewrite some aspects of her character. This included removing the Class S aspect of her, and adding in a line from Laslow (as well as her roster description) that basically confirms she’s bisexual.

Except... they messed it up. They made her apparently bisexual, but they removed the romantic aspect of almost all of her S supports, all of which are dudes. Instead, most of her S supports result in promises of friendship or partnership of some kind. The only romantic S supports she has in the localization are with M!Corrin because Avatar privilege, and Forrest, which can still kind of be taken as platonic.

This doesn’t make sense. Why go out of your way to make Soleil bisexual, but remove her romantic supports with dudes? Her wlw side isn’t suddenly erased if she were to marry a dude, what’s the deal here? Did two different people have a hand in this and just didn’t communicate? Did one intend to make her a lesbian and the other wanted her to be bi? 

This is a huge inconsistency and fumble on Treehouse’s part, one of their biggest. Hell, besides that, they didn’t even remove all of her creepy aspects either; she still creeps on girls in her Ignatius support (she now plans to pinch them instead of embrace them from behind), and while her support with Ophelia was toned down, it still isn’t great. Why go so halfway on this, especially since she’s the most controversial character in the game?

Conclusion & Overview

So yeah, those are my thoughts about Soleil. Her Japanese characterization is a predatory mess and based on a trope which I am not fond of whatsoever, while her localized characterization is only somewhat better as a person and is plagued by a whole slew of new writing problems because her bisexuality just wasn’t done correctly by Treehouse.

Which honestly? It makes me kind of sad. Soleil has a lot of good things about her. I like her shamelessness, her confidence. Her shyness is basically an inverse of Olivia’s, where the latter is shy all the time except when dancing whereas Soleil is only shy and insecure when dancing; it’s a neat full circle for the entire family line. She has a couple of great supports too, like with Laslow and Kiragi. Her design is adorable, she’s a good unit, female mercenaries are always a plus, and her new voice actress in Heroes is one of my favorites. 

It’s just everything else is... bleh. 

I don’t dislike her as much as I did a few months ago, because looking over her supports again endeared her to me a little, but unfortunately she still has too many things about her that I hate for me to say anything better than that.

[themissinggenius]

Part 2/2

Another conversation was coming, but it was avoided for the time being. Clarice showered in the guest bathroom; earlier, she had tried peering around the house—still mad but a bit embarrassed by the outburst. The door had been put back into place since she showered, and the water had been cleaned off of the floor. Hannibal was nowhere to be found. I really did it this time, she thought. Her body relaxed, and her face softened. She didn’t think it was appropriate to laugh, but the thought still surfaced, prompting a sad smile. I pushed around the violent centerpiece of the FBI’s Ten Most Wanted list. And he just cried. Shithouse mouse. The smirk dissipated as she ruminated further... She had hit him. Being a domestic abuser wasn’t just rude; it was boringly common. 

She moved the thoughts about violence to the side and shifted her attention to the cause of the scuffle. I don’t know what he expected. Hannibal knows the depth of my old relationship with Jack, as much as he hated him. He told me to say goodbye to my father, so why not Jack?

Your daddy and Jackie Boy aren’t the same, she reminded herself. At this moment, she was both grateful and resentful that her internal voice of reason was that of her husband. At least it was helping her see his view. Okay, so the relationship isn’t necessarily comparable. But why would he think I wouldn’t come home? Did he really read my intentions so incorrectly?

Clarice laid awake in the guest bedroom for hours.

~~

Hannibal Lecter relies on his intuition; it may just be his most famous attribute. On rare occasion, though, his cunning will fail him. On the day that Jack Crawford died, it most certainly did.

However, he doesn’t know that yet. Instead, he is reclined in repose at the seat of his harpsichord which he does not play. As he is off in one of the ill-visited quarters of the home, Clarice would be unable to hear the notes carrying from her position in the guest room; even so, he does not play. Hannibal gleaned a look of disgust and frustration from her earlier, and thus, he was certain his Starling would take flight by the morning for reasons known but difficult to accept. There is no reason for him to play.

Poised on the bench, he disappeared to his memory palace without struggle. The difficulty came when he walked down the halls, closing each door that had belonged to her. Hannibal contemplated as he walked: There is a certain symmetry to this—an appreciable one. Clarice’s hotheadedness had been a defining feature of hers, whereas he relied on coolness. He chastised himself for his own emotional outburst; it was unlike him to breakdown, and though he had allowed himself to become vulnerable to his wife, with her likely departure, he had to withdraw from all this fragility. He had to shut down. He had to be the ice to meet her violent fire. 

Thus, he closed her doors, sealing the emotional ties within each.

~~

Hannibal emerged at the sound of her voice. He had not heard her approaching in nor had he smelled her. 

A few paces away from the harpsichord, Clarice stood. Hannibal had been contemplating whether to address her as Clarice (Perhaps too informal at this point...), Agent Starling (But even when she goes back, she won’t be an agent...), or Miss Starling (Ummmm, I don’t like this one very much...) when she interrupted.

“Hannibal,” she started. 

“Ah.” He paused but spoke again before she could continue. “I see you’ve finally decided to join me. Had enough tossing and turning up there, or did you come down to use me as your personal punching bag again?”

“No, no. I just think-”

He cut her off again. “You know what I think, Ex-Special Agent Starling?” Oooh. That works, he thought. “Well, actually I wonder. I wonder if that was how Daddy took care o’ Mommy when she wouldn’t shut ‘er yap.” His imitation of her accent—which she had long abandoned—made her flinch. “If Ma didn’t have dinner on the table at five-o-clock, yes siree, she’d be in some kinda trouble. And boy, does Clarice still wanna be like her Daddy! No matter what,” he emphasized with a drawl, “she’s gonna stand by him. It sure do seem that way tuh me!” Hannibal smirked, and his face betrayed no warmth.

The room had felt colder to Clarice when she had walked in. She had expected him to be upset, but she hadn’t expected this. The woman paused and considered the implications: her musings were correct. He really did misread her, and now he was trying to drive her away. Well fuck that. 

In their years of marriage, the couple had picked up on a few of each other’s traits. For one, Clarice was not going to allow a bit of intimidation break her. He came close to doing so in Baltimore, but he would not again. She steeled herself, adopting a bit of his icy demeanor.

“No, Hannibal. My father did not hit my mother. I think I would’ve told you by now, don’t you?”

He didn’t answer right away; rather, he just pursed his lips and smiled. 

Then, he began: “As you know, I don’t try to predict you because it often proves fruitless.” He looked off before setting his gaze squarely on her. “However, considering these... outbursts of yours and the contempt plain on your face, I have bought you a ticket back to Arlington in time for dear Mr. Crawford’s funeral. For my safety, I will also be leaving, but not to Virginia. I know how much you must miss Jackie; please, give him my regards when you go. Maybe if you scream and pound on his grave hard enough, someone will hear and they’ll finally find you... Three years after you were reported as a missing person.” Lecter’s eyebrows shot up, and he shrugged. “Though I doubt you’ll be reinstated, as you haven’t kept your resume up to date. It will be no problem for you, though, Clarice.” He gave her a kind, patronizing look. “You’re a very smart girl. When you rediscover that the FBI has no use for your intelligence, try showing off your trophies from the firing range. Maybe even tell them about your skills in hand-to-hand combat... I could write you a glowing reference!”

Hannibal was perfectly still in his seat with his wife just beyond him. He waited patiently for her to break. He wanted no end to be left untied when she left. Your turn.

“I see you still try and lick tears after you’ve tired of tasting your own.” Clarice took a slow step toward him. She needed to crack his facade quickly. “Fortunately or unfortunately, I have no intention of moving back to the States. I find that I’m quite happy right here.”

Only she could have noticed the slight twitch of the doctor’s right eye upon this admission. And she did.

Starling inched closer. “Now, about this ‘contempt plain on my face’...” She mirrored his voice and flat expression; her imitation was even better than his had been. “Did ya happen to consider that it’s because you just tried to tear me apart—unsuccessfully, I might add? Let me tell you what I know, Doctor.” She hammed up the formality in her tone. “I know you’re not comfortable feeling worried about another person. I know that you felt vulnerable when I was gone, and I know you didn’t like that.” 

She paused, remaining collected. She raised her voice a tad for this last bit. “Lastly, I know that you ASSUMED. And if there is one—just one!—good thing that goddamned Jack Crawford taught me over the years,” she laughed, “it’s that, when you assume, you make an ASS out of U and ME. Trust me, baby, you did just that. And despite what your intuition told you, I’m not going anywhere.”

She did it. The true stoic’s face had broken, and Hannibal the Cannibal sat, dumbfounded. He opened his mouth and then closed it. She continued.

“I’m sorry that you misread my motivations. I spent yesterday reflecting on how I had gotten to this point, and I had come home feeling glad. I was planning on going upstairs to find you, drawing a bath for the both of us, and then dancing later on in the evening. Your assumption got us a bit sidetracked, though.” Looking down at her watch, it was 2am. Holy crap. She focused back on him and noted that he was still unmoving but appeared less rigid than before. The room felt like it had finally warmed up.

Clarice took a last step towards her husband. Now above him, looking down, she said, “I am sincerely sorry for hitting you, Hannibal.”

Finally, he stirred. “Clarice, I have not once so much as laid a finger on you in anger...”

“I know. Ironic, right?”

“I don’t think so.”

His wife smirked at that, and he returned the favor. “No, I guess you wouldn’t. Anyway, I’m sorry. It won’t happen again. You know what else won’t happen again?” She held his chin and spoke softly. “You doubting us. I’m with you for the long haul. Where the hell did you even think I was going?”

“Ummmm. To be candid, I’m unsure of what I thought your plan was. I assumeddddd,” he looked up at her teasingly, “that you were leaving because of a change in heart.”

“My, Dr. Lecter, you didn’t have every one of my steps planned out before I could even think of them? What have I done to you?”

“I can now definitively say that you bring out the worst in me.”

Clarice laughed and sat down next to him. “Crying? And worrying?” She was feeling more relaxed, placing her hand on his leg as she started laughing harder. “Why am I not surprised that you consider that to be Hannibal Lecter at his worst?”

Her husband just smiled back at her. She saw his cheeks blush almost imperceptibly, which then prompted a further fit. It wasn’t long before they were both laughing.

“You had better... go back... into that memory palace of yours... and open up my doors ASAP,” Clarice ordered while catching her breath.

“And how did you—?”

“You were sitting on that bench for quite a while before I called out to ya. Try not to forget about me so soon, huh?”

“I wouldn’t even think of it.” Never again, he added silently. “But I must ask... Would I be incorrect in assuming you still want to dance?”

Clarice smiled widely. Hannibal shifted in his seat and began to play.