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spilledkauffie · 3 years ago

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Dating Them — The Bad Batch Edition

Individually x Female!Reader || fluffy ☁️

hi, this has been my latest comfort & binge again, so I'm here to make it all your problem as well. I still have a lot coming with other characters, I promise!

↳ m a i n m a s t e r l i s t

H U N T E R ↴

He’s a little embarrassed about how it started — according to him it was just pure instinct, he knew he needed to be with you. His senses went crazy the moment he saw you, there was an instant attraction, a strong desire to keep you safe, and a feeling of security just by being around you, etc. He tried to shake it at first, thinking it was something else that must’ve interfered or been in the room causing his sense to go off in such an odd way. But he just got more and more confused when it happened in every single location you met him in, the hallway, the barracks, the ship, the hangar, literally anywhere and everywhere you were it happened. The more he thought about it, he realised it was a different kind of instinct than what he was used to. He faced the facts pretty quickly and tried to come up with a plan asked you out to try and keep you closer to him. He tried his very best to explain it to you, which made you laugh at the fact that he felt he needed to justify everything when you very easily would’ve said yes without any additional information.

Nicknames — you absolutely take advantage of the fact that his name shortened is “Hun” and you call him by it constantly, both in moments of affection and in normal situations. It’s actually more rare for you to call him by his full name, but when you do he loves it, that’s usually when he knows you’re serious about something or you’re trying to be intimate, he can tell by the tone in your voice when you say his name; it’s like you save it as a special privilege. // As for him, he calls you “honey” all the time and in the sweetest voice possible. In more private situations he calls you “beloved,” but that’s strictly between the two of you, no one else has ever heard him call you that.

Introducing you to the boys — Hunter is very open and honest about his relationship with you; it’s hard to know him and not know the boys at least a little bit so you know them from a distance. But once you’re in a relationship with Hunter, they basically treat you like family and really sweetly welcome you in. Hunter doesn’t hesitate to introduce you to the boys, but he does have a little talk about behaviour beforehand. If you’re important to Hunter, you’re important to them and that makes you feel so special and loved. Tech takes the most interest in asking you questions about yourself, and Wrecker treats you like a sister.

He’s a fast learner — in the process of dating you, he’s a very fast learner when it comes to figuring out what you like and don’t like. Admittedly, some of it is trial and error, but a lot of it comes from what he picks up from you, sometimes in obvious ways, other times in more subtle ways. He always commits to memory when you mention your favourites, no matter what. He once was on his way to you with some flowers he got off-world but overheard you in a conversation you were in the middle of before he tapped your shoulder say that you liked a different kind better and he not-so-subtly ditched the flowers before you turned around.

↳ that being said, he also learns quickly when it comes to romance and your preferences. He knows how you like to be held, hugged, and kisses, and he doesn't forget it, which means it's pretty perfect just about every time. He's far more romantic than he leads you on to believe, leading to surprises.

Kisses — they vary, he’s a big fan of kissing the top of your head, especially when you’re stressed. Likewise, when he returns from a mission, he wraps you up in a tight hug and places a lingering kiss to the top of your head, closing his eyes and breathing in your scent which he’s missed. He also tends to give you a deep, but tender, kiss, pulling away after a moment, waiting to see if you follow for more or pull back yourself. He always waits to see which mood you’re in first before going any further.

Scents — Hunter has heightened senses in more than one way, so when it comes to you, he really enjoys your scent, which you never thought about before. At first, you were pretty insecure about it, worried that it wasn’t pretty enough. Hunter can also tell when something of his smells like you, even when it’s not obvious to others, thanks to his enhancement, which means a lot of his stuff winds up smelling like you.

Cuddles — Hunter is a marvellous cuddler, sometimes he lets you cuddle and cradle him other times he’s the one cuddling and cradling you. The openness is something you appreciate about him. He 100% knows how to get his way when he cuddles you though, it’ll be very handsy and very sorry and warm. He also likes staying in comforting and snuggly postions with you, it’s not just a brief hug and done, he’ll literally keep you in his arms for an hour or more. // one time he was exhausted and invited you to the barracks for a quick snuggle while the other boys were out. You laid down and let him wrap his arms around you, resting his head on your chest, hips between your legs. You began to comb through his hair, even taking his bandana off (you’re the only person allowed to do that!) and stroking down his neck to calm him. It was so soothing that you both wound up dozing off; the others came back in to find the two of you asleep. “You know, they’re pretty cute!” Wrecker announces with a smile, to which Tech and Echo turn on their heels, each holding up a finger while shushing him.

You in red — Hunter 100% has a kink thing for you in red. That can mean red lipstick or it can mean red clothes, really anything with the colour. It flusters him the first time he sees you in red because he never realised how much he liked it, he had no idea until he met you that it was even a thing he liked. // He tries to play it cool and not be obvious about it the first time: he was walking over to you with Crosshair, Hunter was trying by to settle a debate with you being the tie breaker for the boys. When he said your name to get your attention he planned on just continuing to talk, but when you faced him with red lipstick on he was speechless.

E C H O ↴

How it starts — Echo was a tough one for you to figure out. You instantly had feelings for him, but you weren’t sure if he felt the same way. In reality, Echo had pretty quick feelings for you too, but he was insecure about them and himself to show them. He shies away from a lot because he can’t imagine that you’d actually be attracted to him and he doesn’t want to ruin your friendship over a dream. That’s where there’s a disconnect. When you accidentally touch hands while working on something together, you hope the touch will linger, but Echo pulls away, feeling embarrassed that he accidentally touched you. He gets nervous around you and sometimes finds excuses to leave early or claims he’s busy. It’s actually by a mutual friend (probably Hunter or Tech) that he finds out you like him. Immediately he heads out to find you. When he abruptly enters the workspace you two frequently share, you look up; there’s a pause while Echo finds his nerve to tell you how he feels, and even when he does, he concludes it with an apology, “I didn’t mean to come across as cold, I just wasn’t sure if someone could have those kinds of feelings for me, considering… the way I am.”

Nicknames — you generally call him by his full name, as you love it, but it a more intimate, affectionate, or tender situation you frequent “sweetheart.” Whenever you’re comforting him it’s almost always “Echo, sweetheart” when you address him. // As for him, he refers to you a lot as “darling” or “love.” It feels really classy when he addresses you more tenderly, it always makes you feel like some kind of princess, even if he’s just asking you a simple question, or telling you he missed you while he was off-planet.

Introducing you to the boys — the others 100% knew the two of you liked each other and it was such a slow burn that they got to know you well before you were officially dating Echo, in fact, they often tried to push the two of you together to speed things up. Hence, you’re actually already friends with the boys beforehand. Something nice is that they don’t treat you any different when you become official, they treat you like the friend that you are to them and in fact, you owe it a little to them for finally helping Echo realise your emotions in your actions. They couldn’t be happier for the two of you.

Touch — it’s a huge thing for Echo, feeling your skin is a major comfort to him, he loves that he can still feel your warmth against him, at least parts of him. So, he’s a very big fan of holding your hand whether you’re sitting together, walking together, whatever, wherever. You tend to show a lot of PDA (nothing excessive, but you're usually very close and leave an opportunity him to easily be able to reach your skin, like leaving your hand in the open instead of clasped together. It's keeping the invitation open any time he needs it). // You have a habit of just stroking your fingers against his skin without even thinking about it, but it means the world to him, especially when he has his head in your lap and you trace your fingers in patterns around the implanted ports. He loves that you’re not scared by his altered appearance and all the things that come with it.

↳ it took time to convince him that you really didn't mind if his skin was a little colder, or that he had metal scattered across his body. "I just, I'm not- if it's- cause I'm-" he started, pacing in front of you the first time you were going to cuddle, feeling nervous about taking any clothes off in front of you. / "Echo," you say gently through a soft laugh, "I promise, I won't think anything of it, you're beautiful to me as you are, I just want to be able to feel you," you blink up at him with a tender smile, "we'll do this on your terms, okay?" / Echo took a deep breath, having never been talked to like that before, "okay," he nods, smiling and agreeing.

Kisses — he literally kisses you all over, obviously it depends on time and place, but Echo just loves the feeling of your skin, so he’ll kiss your hand, shoulder, cheek, lips, etc. He’s a pretty big fan of giving your temples a kiss, as well as the top of your hands. You actually had to make the first move to kiss him on the lips though. He feels a little cold, but to him you’re so warm, which makes for a very unique experience for the both of you and it instantly sends shivers across both your skin, you didn’t want to pull apart because it was like nothing you’d ever experienced before. You have to pause a moment afterward, catching your breath and looking at each other, until Echo asks, “was…that…alright? For you?” He shyly winces. “That was…wonderful,” you say in a sigh and smile.

Modifications — Echo has to keep up on the mechanical side of him, but sometimes it can be difficult when he can’t reach a surcuit or a port (like the ones down his spine). You only found out about these when you accidentally walked in on him trying to reach one, it was hard not to laugh at the contorted position he was struggling in, but you instantly offered to help where you could. “I dont- I mean if you don’t want to-“ he stutters, a surprising blush rising. “I wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t want to,” you state, sitting down next to him, waiting for instruction, "these hands are all yours," you smile, fanning your fingers, making Echo smile. // Echo really needs assurance sometimes and it’s in the little things like accepting his uniqueness.

C R O S S H A I R ↴

How it starts — you definitely started having a crush on him from a distance first, on occasion you’ll try and say hi when passing in the hallway, but usually, it’s too fast for him to actually respond, so he just watches you after you pass by for a few seconds. How you actually started talking was one time in the cafeteria, you came up to the table he was at with the others and stood by him. At first, he didn’t bother to look up, but when you lingered a little, he sighed, and slowly looked you over until he met your gaze softly look at him. With just one look you could tell he was asking ‘what?’ // “I saw you in the simulated shooting range earlier,” you began with a friendly smile. / “And?” he asks, wondering who sent you and what the message was. / “I just wanted to say I thought you were brilliant,” you bounce up on your toes for emphasis, before smiling again and looking to the others, “if he’s anything to go by, you all must truly be sensational.” With that, you walked away. They were all left speechless in the moment, but absolutely teased him once they got back to the barracks about ‘having a girlfriend.’

↳ a few days later, when you were walking down a hallway, you were pulled aside abruptly by the arm, it was Crosshair, the proximity between the two of you was shallow, as he remained holding onto your arm. “I didn’t see you in the range earlier,” he perked an eyebrow. / “And?” You try back at him, but can’t help a sudden shyness, being the toughie style wasn’t you, “Well, I highly doubt that you missed-” / “A shot? No,” he admits, with ease, “you on the other hand….”

Nicknames — you shorten his name, with “Cross” on occasion, but you also call him affectionate nicknames like “love,” “babe” or simply “handsome,” nothing too cutesy, knowing he wouldn’t like that. // As for him, his number one go-to for you is “dearest” or “my dearest.” On very intimate occasions (aka, when you’re truly alone) he’ll call you “angel.”

Introducing you to the boys — even though they teased him for a while after your first interaction, that eventually toned down. Ironically, you and Crosshair became more of an item, it was just kept a total secret from literally anyone. Sometimes Wrecker brings up the teasing when he catches Crosshair looking at you for a long time from across the room, but they really have no idea of just how serious the two of you have actually become. You and Crosshair managed to keep it undercover until one little slip-up. // You were hanging out with Crosshair in their shared barracks while the others were out, when they came back. Finding you sitting super close to Crosshair while he made some modifications to his gun, they began to get suspicious. You simply said hi to them, and they waved, quickly acting like they were preoccupied and not looking at the two of you. Seeing it as an opportunity, you placed a kiss on Crosshair’s cheek saying “I’ll see you later,” thinking no one had seen. When you left the room, however, Crosshair sighed, looking up to see the rest of the boys staring at him with different expressions ranging from shock to borderline laughing. It was silent a few moments before Wrecker broke the silence with “Crosshair has a girlfriend!”

Teaching you how to shoot — after you’ve been dating for a while, he lets you check out his gear. You’re absolutely mesmerised by his 773 Firepuncher sniper rifle, so he asks if you want to shoot it. At first you don’t think he was being serious, but when he simply stares at you patiently, you blush and admit that you never learned how to shoot. // “Ah, all the more fun for me,” he smirks to himself, grabbing a few things and nodding for you to follow him. / “Are you sure we should be here this late?” you ask as he leads to to the shooting range. / “Of course,” he scans a card that unlocks the door, “I’m encouraged to practice after hours.” / “Really? Why?” you watch him open the door for you. / “So I don’t discourage the others,” he smirks, tilting his head for you to walk in.

↳ once he sets everything up and has you in your lane, he helps prep you. // “Elbows relaxed,” he brings your arms down, “core strong,” his hand slips around your frame,softly pressing against you, only causing you to lean further against him, “finger at the ready,” his caresses your hand from the opposite side, helping to steady it, “deep breath,” he whispers, cheek nearly touching yours, “and exhale,” you follow his instruction, but hear a soft chuckle, “eyes on your actual target,” he says through another smirk, to which you blush quickly, redirecting your eyes off him and back through the scope; his hand glides down from your stomach to your hip, keeping you in position; “whenever you’re ready,” he says. When you shoot, you momentarily close your eyes, but find that you did manage to hit the target and pretty close to center. “I did it!” You smile, turning to face him quickly with excitement, he’s much closer than you realised, which causes you to take a sharp inhale and simply stare. “Would you like to try again?” he slowly pushes a strand of hair that fell in your face out of the way, “this time, don’t close your eyes,” he drops a finger under your chin, causing you to look up, “it’s better when you don’t.”

Cuddles with intention — Crosshair is not a huge fan of PDA nor dishing out a lot of physical touch in general. However, he’ll completely let you if you so choose; he will never push you off if you wrap your arms around his, or if you decide to cuddle up next to him. Having someone who understands his comfortability with time and place is really important to him, but he actually loves when you give physical attention, he just won’t say it. / SO, when he decides to get physical with you on his own, it’s definitely for something more.

Kisses — neck kisses are his favourite to give you, even in public, he'll walk past you and manage to subtly sneak a kiss to your neck, which causes you to straighten up and then look for the culprit; he's already passed you, but looks back to give you a wink, making you blush heavily. // He almost always greets you when you're alone with a kiss to the neck, whether from behind (in which he slips a hand against the side of your neck) or from the front, where he dips to kiss your neck and sometimes work his way up. // When you go in for a kiss, you are going to instantly be met with a much more passionate kiss than anticipated, he's go big or go home, so it's a bit of a shock how intense it is when you're just going in for a little kiss.

W R E C K E R ↴

How it starts — Wrecker is not one for subtly, therefore when he first saw you he didn’t try to hide a “whoaaaa!” He got a little speechless around you at first, mostly because he was nervous. That is until he found his voice again, in which it was a series of compliments, and he constantly asks if he can help you with anything. If you try and pick something up, he’s on it. If he sees you in the hallway carrying something, he immediately steps in to help, plus then he can accompany you on your walk to wherever you were headed. After a few of these cases, you’re actually the one who asks if he likes you, Wrecker sighs and says “oh man, am I being too obvious?” thinking that you’re asking because you’re going to let him down. “I’m so glad you are,” you giggle and wait for it to click. Once it does, you see his face light up, “oh! Well, I’ll try to be even more obvious then, because yes, I do like you!” The rest is history.

Nicknames — your number one go-to for Wrecker is simply ‘babe,’ short and sweet, but he really doesn’t mind what you call him, he’s down with just about anything that you decide to come up with. // As for him, Wrecker has a lot of nicknames for you. He’s the kind of guy who just blurts out what he’s thinking, so when he’s surprised to see you it’s “hey pretty lady!!” Other times it’s “my best girl!” or simply "beautiful." He has so many it’s impossible to name them all, but every time you hear them you have to smile because even if you’re not facing him, you hear him and instantly know he’s addressing you.

Introducing you to the boys — Wrecker is obvious, therefore they are already very well aware that he likes you, just as you are. He also absolutely tells them about you and how much he likes you and hopes that you like him back. He feels a little worried that you won’t, but they try and be as supportive as they can be. Once it’s official Wrecker doesn’t hesitate to introduce you to the boys, with some serious enthusiasm. They’re very happy to finally meet you since they’ve been hearing a lot about you, seeing as he gushed over you constantly to them.

Wrecker always manhandles you in the most gentle way possible — if you’re in the way of something, instead of just guiding you to “look out” he would rather pick you up instead, physically moving you out of the way, but not roughly, it’s all very gentle. It’s just one second you’re standing there, the next you’re in Wrecker’s arm being moved somewhere else. / Likewise, when he sees you again after a while, he’s going to pick you up and hug you, there’s no stopping it. You’ve gotten used to it, but sometimes he still surprises you; when you feel a strong arm come around your waist, you instantly dig your fingertips into his forearm, feeling your feet leave the ground, “I gotcha!” He reassures you, dipping to nuzzle against the top of your shoulder to let you know he’s there if you couldn’t tell already. Also, he is the best hugger you have ever known!

Kisses — Wrecker is surprisingly gentle, mostly because he knows his own strength, so if he came barreling in, you’d be knocked over in an instant, so even with kisses he’s super timid and gentle. Which makes it funny, because you’re less hesitant / restrained out of the two of you; you come in fast, and he’s totally prepared for it. Like when you find him on the landing platform, run over to him and jump up in his arms, he barely moves and is totally prepared for the smooch you’re about to give him. / Wrecker dips down to kiss your cheek a lot and it’s precious, people don’t expect him to be so soft, but with you he is.

Dinner & Snacks — Wrecker is a big fan of his food, so he always brings you snacks when you hang out together, he's made mental notes of what snacks you like best so you can both enjoy it the most. Although even if your favourite snack isn't his favourite he still opts to bring the one you like best, it takes you a while to figure out that he's literally been bringing it just for you. // One big thing he loves is dinner dates with you, no, they're not super fancy, usually it's something local on whatever planet you happen to be on, but it's so nice for Wrecker to have a significant other who enjoys grabbing a taste of the town.

T E C H ↴

How it starts — he's extremely surprised by his own responses and emotions when he first meets you. In fact, he tries hard to rationalize and push aside the feelings, to begin with, because they’re new and unfamiliar, but he's never cold to you like a lot of guys act when they're trying to "hide/deny" their feelings. He's perfectly kind and civil to you, he's just trying to work it all out internally, yet it keeps getting stronger when he’s around you. He tries to observe if you have any odd behaviour habit when you’re one on one with him, but you know how to hide it better. He most certainly doesn't confront you about it until he's certain that it's not just an infatuation though. When he finishes taking time to decipher these new emotions, he confronts you about them; he explains the “symptoms” that occur whenever he’s around you and proceeds to conclude with “I can only determine that these are a cause and effect of my deep emotional regard for you and my personal physical attraction to you.”

Nicknames — his name is short enough that you frequent it, but you have been known to shorten it to just ‘T’ when talking to him or asking him for something. Otherwise, you call him, “Honey.” / He still refers to you by your name most of the time, just in a softer more affectionate way depending on the circumstance in which he’s addressing you. There was one time that a more cute nickname came from him and it just so happened to be in front of the other boys. It was while you were helping him with some repairs to the ship, but you happen to be outside the ship when he thought you were right next to him and simply called out, “would you hand that to me, my dove?” When you didn’t respond he looked back to find Wrecker, Hunter, and Echo staring at him, a few awkward moments passed before you entered the ship and asked what was going on, to which none of them wanted to explain.

Introducing you to the boys — he doesn’t see it as anything to hide, so he asks pretty quickly if you want to officially meet the rest of his team. It takes the boys by total surprise since Tech has never mentioned you in a more affectionate way. They assumed he liked being around you only because you were so helpful with the information he desired. But when he introduces you as his girlfriend, Wrecker nearly chokes on his drink, Echo’s jaw drops a little, Crosshair tries to hide a smile, and Hunter is left a bit speechless, but they’re all very sweet and inviting. Tech of course has no idea why they’re so shocked, all the evidence that he liked you was present, they just missed it.

Kisses — kisses you on the forehead all. the. time. When you help him figure something out, it’s a kiss to the forehead, when you greet him, he usually places a soft one on your forehead before or after he says ‘hello,’ when he gets back from a mission it’s a kiss on the forehead. Other times, you place a peck on his cheek, which always manages to surprise him and makes you giggle in response to his reaction. // What shocked you was one time when you were turning around to inform him of some information, he placed the biggest kiss you’ve ever had. It was warm, deep, intense, and everything you expected out of the perfect first kiss between the two of you, but you hardly expected it to actually live up to it! / Pulling back, Tech just looks over your expression, “well?” he asks casually. / You gape for words, “Tech…that was, wow!” was all you managed / “Oh good,” he lifts his shoulders happily, “judging from your response, it looks like all the research I did was correct information, I just wanted to see if the theories proved true.” / Dropping your jaw for a whole other reason now, you perked an eyebrow, “you did research on how to kiss?” / “Always best to go into something prepared, no?” He asks as if that was reasonable. / Shaking your head an trying not to smile, “you nerd,” you say under your breath.

Nerding out together — simply having someone to geek out with is a huge attraction to Tech; the fact that you don't mind when he rambles on about something fascinating both surprises him and warms his heart. In fact, when you show an equal amount of passion towards a topic he enjoys, he can't help but stare at you even after you've finished talking, a smile pulling at his lips. "What?" you ask, having not heard a reply, which was rare. / "N-nothing," Tech tries to shake himself out of it, just as confused as you are, "I'm sorry, I don't mean to stare, it's just. . . I've never known someone with such a passion for knowledge as myself." / "Oh," you blushed, squeezing your shoulders up as you smile, "I'll take that as a compliment." / "Please do," Tech said surprisingly quick, as his gaze stayed steady on you.

Learning to fly — when you figure out that Tech is the most frequent pilot for the Batch, you instantly take interest in learning how to fly. Omega and you constantly ask Tech questions, which he rather enjoys answering. However, he enjoys the alone time with you on the ship even more. Omega was a little frustrated at first when Tech told her that she couldn't come along while he was teaching you to fly, but when Hunter explained it was time for Tech to get to know you better, Omega completely understood, and definitely gave Tech a hard time about it. // When Tech returned to the barracks, Omega smirked, looking over to Wrecker who winked at her, "How'd it go?" she asks. / "Most beneficially," Tech replies. / "Sooo," Omega continues, "did you hold her hand?" / Tech stops, uncertain how to answer her question as his hands were on yours while he was showing you the steering, and perhaps they lingered there longer than usual.

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baltears · 2 years ago

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hello spookyshai!! its cool if u dont want to, but i was wonderin if you'd elaborate on what you like about william? i just like thinking about/mentally rewriting westworld and its characters in my free time, and your fascination with william's got me fascinated, mostly bc i see him as a stinky bastard. so obvs you'd definitely have a more nuanced take on him, which i'd also like to develop for the imaginary westworld rewrite fic that i'm never going to write ;)) regardless if u answer or not, just wanted to say i'm a fan of your blog and i hope you're havin a good day!!

omg so first of all thank you so so much for sending this, especially asking unprompted about a character you don't even like and giving me a chance to explain my feelings about him which is just incredibly cool of you. i love and am obsessed with william so giving me any excuse to talk about him at length is like gifting me $1000. if you want to know more about my meta thoughts about him after reading this, (I'm gonna talk A Lot – sorry – but i can't possibly get through everything because he's just a very complicated guy and it's a very dense show), you can always look in my william tag. I have a lot of text posts about him, but I also often talk a lot in the tags of my own posts as well as reblogs. This is gonna be a lot of totally disorganized and unedited infodumping of a lot of different meta, but i've talked about all of it at length elsewhere too and I can also totally elaborate more if you have any specific questions (you could send another ask if you wanted, but also feel free to just message me about it anytime). I'll do my best not to get too emotional (lol) but it'll be tough because this character is so close to my heart. but I'll try!

this is a huge wall of text lol so i'll also be adding more bold and italics than i normally would just to make it a little easier to read.

so first of all let's be clear, he completely is a stinky bastard. he is a horrible, awful, faithless, pathetic specimen of a man. not liking him is totally justified. just wanted to get that out of the way. personally I think not liking anything for any reason is totally valid and justified, but there are certainly good reasons why a lot of people don't like william. he is not a good dude, at least not after a certain point. No one is obligated to relate to him, empathize with him, feel bad for him, whatever... like, no one's obligated to like anything, but especially this guy. sometimes people can get a little shirty about the fact that i do, like me liking him means i think they have to. I don't think that. I do love finding other william stans, and i am very unapologetic and open about my love for him, but him being widely hated makes complete sense to me.

sigh like why i love him so much though… it's kind of hard to even put into words. on one level it's just extremely personal, like, there are a lot of things about him that i really resonate with and identify with, although I know that sounds weird (it's definitely gotten some very shocked reactions before, lol). i'm a villain liker in general, i tend to be able to relate to those types of characters easily and it kind of takes a lot for me to really dislike one on a personal level (though that's true of any sort of character, i just tend to like the majority of the characters in any work that i genuinely enjoy regardless of how shitty they are – to me the only truly bad thing a character can be is annoying, like, the kind of annoying where you just want them off your screen). Characters being any degree of evil or shitty or problematic doesn't bug me at all, personally, I tend to feel no deep internal urge to have them 'held accountable' for the things they do, unless they exist in a narrative that genuinely doesn't seem to understand that they are in the wrong, which does irritate me when it happens. But anyway, I don't want to get too oversharey but there's definitely a very high level of just personal resonance to the character for me in terms of the kinds of conflicts he has, the things he struggles with, the dominant emotions of his life, etc. so that's part of it. also though he's just… a very complex and beautifully constructed piece of character work, so I also love him just on a technical level as a writer.

He has such incredible significance in the story too, being the thematic representative of humanity, both to dolores and to the wider narrative – his capabilities for good and evil are humanity's capabilities for good and evil, right. Dolores' opinion of humanity and feelings towards humanity are very colored by her opinion of him and her feelings towards him, and thematically their relationship is sort of a microcosm of the broader relationship between hosts and humanity and very much a central piece of the narrative. Even when it's out of direct focus it's being constantly referenced and pointed back to, such as with the caleb storyline in season 3 – caleb himself is basically one big callback to william in s3, parallels out the wazoo, and his function of turning around dolores' opinion on humans is very much related to him reminding her of william – hence why her storyline in season 3 ends with her remarking on how her memories of william as a young man indicate to her that humanity is capable of goodness, because caleb's capacity to choose echoes william's capacity to choose, caleb's goodness echoes william's goodness, it all goes back to that, etc.

So… I guess I'll just jump in lol. William's Thing, the fulcrum of his character, the main feeling or sentiment that underlies all of his evil actions and kind of his general turn away from the kind and gentle person he used to be, is alienation, right. He lives his whole life (as he tells dolores in 1x07) not fitting in anywhere, not making connections anywhere, not having any sort of community or any experience with love or companionship of any kind… he's just been totally alone and alienated his entire life. like, the closest thing he had to a friend was logan, and he hates logan. I think this is the major thing people miss about him – there's this perception that his turning evil was out of some form of entitlement, that he was just angry that this woman he liked didn't like him back and it's just an issue of wounded masculinity, but to me that completely misses the mark. Like yes wounded masculinity is a piece of his character (the way he performs and weaponizes masculinity in general is… really fascinating, I'll go into a bit more detail about it, but the kind of showy machismo that he displays is definitely a tool that he intentionally developed for his own use rather than a really integral part of who he is) but it's not at all the core emotion happening there.

To William, Dolores was not only a person he was in love with or a person he was attracted to. She was also his first and only genuine human connection ever. She was his first true friend, she was his first love, she was the first suggestion anywhere in his life that it was even possible at all for him to experience a sort of deep mutual understanding and care, that somebody could actually genuinely see him and let him see them. He literally just had not ever experienced any level of real emotional intimacy before, which is a feeling i actually think a lot of people relate to if they grew up feeling very lonely. And then ultimately not only was that relationship taken away, but it was kind of retroactively deleted. When he saw her again back in sweetwater, his thought was not, "i don't have this relationship anymore," but "i never had this relationship," and further, "the single person i've ever thought i could have this kind of relationship with is actually not capable of having any kind of relationship with anyone, including me, and i literally just made all of this up in my head." After losing Dolores he is not just sad and lonely – he literally comes to the conclusion that he can never have any kind of intimate human connection or be genuinely loved, ever, because the one person in his entire life he thought he connected with is not even a person at all, but just a thing. It's very much a rug pull moment on a level that's hard to describe, it kind of takes some thought-experimenting to get to that emotional place because it's a level of shock and hurt and betrayal and like, paradigm-shifting that most of us don't regularly experience (which I think might be part of the reason why a lot of people don't seem to really understand his character or be able to parse what's going on with him emotionally). Suffice it to say it's a wound deep enough that he was pretty much never going to recover from it.

After that happens he is completely destabilized, he loses all sense of meaning and self, and he never gets a grip on it again. He had totally reconstructed his idea of his life to include the genuine possibility of meaning, and meaningful relationships, when he met Dolores. And with the loss of her, all of that suddenly went away and he basically was just left with nothing. So that alienation that he grew up with is now not just a part of his life, not just a thing that he suffers from, but he starts to feel that it's inherent to him and that it comes from him, which is partly why we start getting all the anti-social behavior he displays later in life. He develops and kind of fosters that lack of empathy in himself not because he's truly incapable of empathy (as we see when he's a young man and at a couple of later points here and there, he is in fact very capable of it) but because he feels fundamentally cut off from other people – he can't reach them and they can't reach him.

So that fundamental sense of alienation is really what informs 90% of the things he does after that point. He starts building this persona, inside and outside the park. The real world feels meaningless to him at this point because the only hint of meaning he's ever had in his life was in the park, so he buys the park, and simultaneously starts trying to "win" at life in the real world like he would in the park. The real world honestly doesn't feel any more real to him than the park does, he just knows rationally that it's different and so he behaves differently outside the park… he builds all this wealth and power for himself, he becomes a famous philanthropist. Inside the park he starts creating this character for himself, this sort of hyper-masculine, hyper-competent, totally emotionally composed, merciless, badass villain. And he makes a very concerted effort to stay in this persona as often as he can.

It's all a performance, though, right. As early as 1x05 we have Ford pointing out (to his face! legend) that his barely-hidden desperation to find meaning in the park is giving the game away. In that flashback near the end of 2x02 we get a glimpse of what's underneath, because he's performing this cold, heartless persona in front of Dolores literally while his voice is shaking because he's having to try hard not to start crying as he's talking to her. Deep down he is still very wounded, he still loves her, he still desperately wishes deep down (as jimmi simpson explained) for her to just tell him that all of it was real, for her to be real and truly be a person the way he thought she was. When he's an older man that wish is still in there, it's just been buried very deep, covered up with a lot of other things, twisted. But it's always there, it's his most closely held desire, the only thing he truly wants, and it comes out all the time in the things he does. All his tormenting of dolores, and especially his desire to make the park "real" in order to find meaning – that's that. That sense of deep confusion that's always there in his character too, the constant inner monologue of "who am I, what does this mean, does anything mean anything, what is real or not real, what is going on," that's that too, that's his destabilized sense of self and reality and meaning that came out of losing Dolores. And by this point he has also come to feel, as he says in 2x09 to his wife, that there is something very fundamentally wrong with him, in a way that's kind of at odds with how we as the audience have historically understood him.

The thing is, we saw him be a kind, loving, gentle, thoughtful person. He certainly was not perfect, for instance his later narcissism started out as a sort of basic self-centeredness, but he was a fundamentally good-hearted person who put most of his energy into trying to do the right thing. But he starts saying that he feels like that wasn't the real him, that he thinks deep down he was evil and poisonous all along, that his turn to darkness was inevitable, and that there's a sort of helplessness to his evil. There's this deep sense of shame that permeates his character along with his loneliness and alienation and resentment. He hates everything, he hates the world, but above all he hates himself – kind of amusing considering the god complex he's developed over time. But that really does seem to be the underlying emotion, that he truly thinks that deep down he was always bad. It's very heavily implied that his philanthropy outside the park and his attention to his family, his kind of good-guy persona, is something that he constructed to try and make up for his true nature, and all but stated that he doesn't feel like he's succeeded. To him, no amount of good he does will ever balance his level of evil, evil that as he says doesn't come from anything he's done but something deeper than that, something immutable, something he is. So that's why we eventually have him getting to the point of going "I might as well not bother with this anymore. I might as well just be evil, because I can't change what I am."

I've also said in other posts that the things Juliet says to him come off as obviously abusive. Like, she's technically correct that there's some sinister things going on with his private life, but listen to how she says it. You're a virus, not a person, a thing that mindlessly infects and destroys and has no other purpose. And he agrees with her! He doesn't question it at all, he just says, yes, you're exactly right, I'm not a human being with good and bad attributes, or potential to do both right and wrong. I'm a virus. Like, again, I know people get weird about having empathy for villain characters, there's the whole "cool motive, still murder," thing, because we don't want to be excusing anyone's bad actions with a sad backstory (personally I don't really care, but I understand where the concern comes from). But when he said that to Juliet it just… like I don't know how else to put it, it broke my heart. He really believes that about himself. And later he starts to question it because he's not sure anymore if he actually chose to do any of the things he did… but the way his hallucination of Emily puts it, these are his two options: you are evil, or you had no choice. One or the other. He never puts aside the idea that he is a monster that does not deserve to live, and his suicidality persists from season one (when he encourages Dolores to shoot him in the head and reacts with honest disappointment when she can't) to the end of season four when he actually does manage to engineer his own death. He is deeply, agonizingly, pathetically miserable existing the way that he is, he seems to see his even being allowed to live at all as some sort of cosmic injustice. But he doesn't know how to change back to the way he was.

All that having happened, though, we also keep getting these repeated suggestions in the story that he actually is still capable of goodness somewhere in there. The narrative keeps asking what William is exactly, what his fundamental nature is, and keeps refusing to land on one answer, instead choosing to keep things ambiguous in a way that would be sort of odd for your garden variety villain. In 2x04 we see him experiencing regret, feeling empathy and pain on behalf of others, and acting genuinely heroic, only to later backtrack and say it didn't mean anything. In 2x09 Emily tells him he is in his essence "a lie" but makes no attempt to locate what the "truth" of him would then be. In 3x06 he tries to figure out the answer to what's going on with him again only to decide he still doesn't really know, in 3x08 we get this reminder that he still stands for Dolores as a representation of both humanity's evil and its goodness, in 4x05 when his host duplicate asks him what he is, he says "Jury's still out." He is too far down his current path to turn back, but he still does not and cannot definitively and finally choose evil, because despite his self-loathing it seems like he senses deep down that his other side is still in there. All that to say I think he's getting a redemption arc in season 5, if we get a season 5 – season 5 is supposed to be the do-over season, and the character who most desperately needs and could most benefit from a do-over is William.

Um, closing thoughts… I think he's really funny. Sometimes intentionally, like, I do laugh at his little quippy comments, but I also just think it's really funny how pathetic he is and what a mess he is and how he basically imploded his entire life on accident. I do feel a lot of very genuine care and empathy for him (obviously), but he's also such a garbage fire of a human being that you sometimes just have to laugh. He's just my funny little guy, also he sucks, also I love him and he's my lil angel, also he's the worst man ever in history and deserves to be drawn and quartered (said with love). You get it. :) There's dimensions.

Trying to think of other characterization notes for your imaginary fic… oh, did you notice he puts on an accent in the park? He does this fake Southern drawl when he's playing his park character, but it's not his real accent and he drops it at other times, kind of like how Dolores sometimes does or doesn't use her "rancher's daughter" accent when she's being Wyatt in season 2. Uh… Total nerd, at heart, seeing as "all he had as a kid were books." (I kind of suspect that childhood memory might not have been totally real, by the way… made a post about that recently that's a little ways down in my tag if you're interested.)

There are more things I could say, but I think I've probably gone on long enough for the one ask lol so I'll cut it off here. Thank you again, so much, for sending this. I hope you enjoyed and got something out of this response, but if not I still do very much appreciate you asking and being curious. I hope you had a great day too!

#westworld #his brain is a conference call #william westworld

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nataliaphantomhivesblog · 4 years ago

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In the end of it all, Monaca Towa was still a child.

To start this off, this isn't my usual Black Butler posts but ive been meaning to talk about Danganronpa for a hot minute, so please bear with me! Second, this is solely my opinion and before anyone wants to attack me please read thoroughly first. Thank you:)

(Spoiler warning for Danganronpa: Ultra Despair Girls and Danganronpa 3)

Also, before we dive in I'm going to list some trigger warnings:

Physcological abuse

Physical abuse

Manipulation

P*dophillia

Suicide attempt

Violence (?)

Childhood trauma

Please take care and read at your own risk<3

Hello there Danganronpa fandom! Today I will be talking about Monaca Towa (as stated in the title) and how people often minimize her trauma and sometimes forget the fact that shes still a child who got heavily manipulated by Junko too.

Monaca is seemingly very amiable and caring, because of her charming personality, all of the Warriors of Hope love her and try their best to keep her happy and go along with what she wants. However, it's slowly revealed that she is actually manipulative and cunning behind her friendly facade.

Monoca is a character that is cruel, manipulative, and extremly unhinged. Many of her actions cannot be excused or justified, but you can understand where she's coming from.

Monaca's Backstory:

She was born an unwanted child by both her father and her mother. Monaca's mother was supposed to take care of her but instead abandoned the child soon after her birth. Because of all her actions, Monaca saw her mother as a completely selfish and pathetic person. Monaca's father thought of giving her to an orphanage but instead took her into his family.

However, Monaca was always unwanted and everyone else felt uncomfortable around her. Every time Monaca smiled or joked, the others looked at her coldly, as if she didn't deserve to laugh. Every time she spoke, the others turned silent. His older-half brother thought of her as an alien, not part of the family.

She was also physically abused to the point that she pretended to be seriously wounded for them to stop as a result.

Monaca also attended Hope's Peak Elementary School and was part of the "trouble-makers class" along with Nagisa, Masaru, Jataro, and Kotoko.

Along with her fellow abused classmates, she planned a group suicide; however, Monaca never had any plans to commit suicide in the first place and was planning to let the others die as a prank.

The group suicide was stopped by Junko, who took the kids in and manipulated them by treating them with kindness and love.

Monaca then helped Junko mass produce Monokumas for the Tragedy by using her position as a representative of the Towa Group.

She lied to her father and the other adults in order to produce the Monokumas, telling them that she wanted to create futuristic robots that could be domestic helpers and emergency aid workers.

Due to her separation from the family and her genius, her family decided to give her leg room to do what she wanted as long as she brought in profits to the company, and didn't delve too deeply into her plans.

Things to keep in mind about Monoca's backstory:

She was emotionally and physically abused from a very young age.

She started to pretend to be paraplegic because she was finally treated with some kindness and she could have more control over people.

She convinced Nagisa, Jataro, Kotoko and Masaru to commit suicide.

Out of all the Warriros of Hope, Junko took the most intrest in Monoca due to her position, meaning that she was the one who got used and manipulated the most.

How Monoca's mindset works:

The moment she got physically abused to the point that she had to fake her injuries to make her family feel bad was the moment she learned that through sympathy from others comes power. Due to her families neglection and abuse, she started to quickly pick up on things in which benefited her yet hurt others.

She started to use manipulative tactics on her family to gain control over them. She then started implicating these tactics with the Warriors of Hope.

When Junko got into the picture, everything changed for the worst. Junko was the only person in Monaca's life who showed her affection. Even though deep down Monaca knew Junko only cared for her as a means to use her robotics genius for the Tragedy, Monaca didn't care, and happily helped out Junko with her plans if it meant being loved and appreciated in return. At the heart of it, despite all her horrific acts, that's a very child-like thing to do, right? So when Junko dies, Monaca's entire reason for living basically disappears.

AI Junko via Kurokuma may have planted the idea of a successor in her head, but in Monaca's mind it's a way to get her big sis back, and very specifically chooses to mold Komaru into becoming Junko's successor. That's for a big reason, Monaca doesn't want to become Junko, I'd say she actually just wanted her big sister back who would love and appreciate her again, and hence tried to make someone else take on that role initially. Once again, that's the mindset of a child.

Monaca's relationship with the Warriors of Hope:

The Warriors of Hope are a group of children who are extremely resentful and hateful of adults, regardless of whether or not they were involved in their rough paths.

We all know that the Warriros of Hope are extememly tramutized kids. Masaru had alcoholic parents who physically abused him, Jataro was physcologically abused to the point he bealived he was so ugly that if anyone saw his "repulsive" face they would die, Kotoko was r*ped multiple times by disgusting p*dophilic men (not to mention, Monaca's brother was attracted to her), and last but not least we have Nagisa who had pressuring parents who wanted to raise him as the child prodigy and expirimented on him constantly.

Monaca used the Warriros of Hope's trauma against them, manipulating them to the point were they had to do her bidding completly.

As much as I hate to say it, Monaca truly saw them as pawns. Although there are some instances where she openly declares her care for the Warriors of Hope, it's likely she does that as a form of emotional manipulation.

If anything, she probably did see them as equal in the beginning but then when she started to gain control over her own family, she started to do the same with the Warriors of Hope as a way to protect herself from getting hurt, then again this is my baseless assumption.

Her dynamic with Nagito:

Monaca was amused by Nagito's strange behavior and contradicting beliefs and appeared to be somewhat annoyed with him at the times. However, the two appeared to at least seemingly respect each other in some way, as they treated each other somewhat formally as allies.

Her dynamic with Nagito is one of the most intresting ones. Obviously I think that her being rasied by Nagito was potentially a dangerous thing, considering Nagito's goal was for Monaca to become Enoshima's successor. Monaca seemed to agree with this goal, but Nagito's constant rambling about hope and despair made Monaca bored and feel embarrassed about the whole thing.

She claims he made her an adult in a way, as she grew up in the mental sense and became more cynical and apathetic, not really caring about anything.

In the end, Monaca found Nagito creepy and annoying, but she also appeared to get closer to him during their time together, while originally calling him just "Mister Servant" in UDG, she later refers to him as "Big Bro" in Danganronpa 3. I do think their dynamic was sort of soft and I would've loved to have seen more of it. Honestly the concept of Nagito being a soft brother to Monaca warms my heart, and the wasted potential will forever anger me.

(If any Danganronpa fanfic writer or any writer in general is reading this post: if u could be so kind and do a PLATONIC Nagito and Monaca prompt and tag me in it, I would love you forever!!)

My opinion on Monaca:

I think that Monaca was a very well-written character who deserved more than what she got in the end of Danganronpa 3. She was abused, mistreated and belittled by her family. If anything, I see her as a completely misguided little girl. If she actually had a positive authoritative influence in her life, she wouldn't have turned astray.

A lot of people disregard Monaca's trauma and forget that at the end of the day, Monaca was a child who the moment she was born, the people who were supposed to love her were unwelcoming.

Don't get me wrong though, there is no way in hell I will ever justify or condone the things Monaca has done. If anything, I just think that she alongside the rest of the Warriors of Hope should've been properly taken care of.

Also, if you dislike/hate Monaca thats 100% valid! She did a lot of inexcusable things and its alright to hate on her. I personally love her character but I know she is not everyones cup of tea.

If you read all the way, I'm actually surprised! Thank you and I hope you enjoyed<333

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butteerfly · 4 years ago

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— Dating bnha boys ♡

headcanons 🦋

(don't judge me, I'm so insecure that I'm using the translator 🤡)

WARNINGS: mentions of non-con, toxic relationship y aggressive attitudes (yeah, I stan villains)

katsuki bakugo; shoto todoroki; izuku midoriya; dabi; chisaki kai; shigaraki tomura

KATSUKI BAKUGO

hates yelling at you, he can never do it no matter how hard he tries

you are his girlfriend for a reason so you deserve all the kindness in the world

loves to cook so you can taste the food

and since you both like spicy, extra spicy couple !!!

teaches you to use the knife carefully, holding your hands from behind and with his chin on your shoulders 🥺

powerful couple, you always train together

hates the idea of deku being your best friend but accepts it

you have to hug him first

don't forget to hug him

In private he is very affectionate, but in front of your friends he only holds your hand.

possessive boy

If you don't talk to him for a whole day, thinks you're going to break up with him

is insecure with your relationship, but you fix everything by talking

You talk a LOT, that's why you hardly ever argue

you play video games on saturdays until 6 in the morning

you beat him in the middle of the games

pillow fight

Not a real fight, but a fight after all

He always throws you out of bed, he's so strong darling

he always carries you on his back

just love him, sometimes he's a bit rough with you but he doesn't do it with the intention of hurting you

SHOTO TODOROKI

at first he was very shy

you make weird things happen on his tummy, don't blame him

he loves your smile

and your laugh

and also your eyes

this boy is crazy about you, so in love

play with your hair, so soft

he is a flower boy

And since roses are your favorite flowers, don't be surprised if one day he arrives with a bouquet of 100 red roses just for you

Rich boy, he buys everything he likes for you even when you don't want it, just let him be

you share rings, he chose them

you have dates next to the sunset

and always carry chocolates for you

your quirk is not the strongest, but he knows how smart you are and he knows you could beat him in a real fight

you are his pretty girl

always tells you how pretty you are

and he blushes every time you remind him how beautiful he is too

he has trouble socializing, so there are a lot of words your friends use that he doesn't understand

you explain to him very patiently what he does not understand

you always give him soft kisses on his scar and remind him how beautiful he looks

baby starts crying 🥺🥺

you mean a lot to him

You do not understand how someone as kind and adorable as Shoto, went so long without being loved in the right way, because you have no doubt that his entire family, including his father, loves him very much, but you also know that many difficult things happened in the Todoroki family, your baby went through so many things :(

you came into his life to love him and give him the confidence in himself that he lacks, and he loves you too much for that

IZUKU MIDORIYA

he doesn't understand how someone like you likes someone like him

but you always remind him that he is beautiful in many ways, he blushes

you take a lot of pictures of him while he's distracted, you actually have a whole folder dedicated to him on your phone

It's hard to kiss him without him passing out, but you always do it to get him used to it ;)

you sometimes try to cook together, but ...

nothing better than a pizza night and some disney movies !!

you would really love to sit on his lap and hold him tight, but he would definitely die 💀

your dates are always in a cafe, he buys you a strawberry cake because he knows you love them even when you only mentioned it once

baby has trouble controlling his own immense strength and always accidentally breaks glasses with his hand

For that reason, he always hugs you carefully, he's afraid of hurting you :(

loves to play with your hand, which is considerably smaller and softer than his hand

you are his best nurse

the way you touch his scars, without fear of hurting him or getting hurt, just makes his heart fall more in love with you

In fact, you are the first person who, after seeing his room, is not ashamed of his fanaticism towards the former number one hero, you think his admiration is incredible.

you are the couple who give each other confidence and motivation ✨

villains

DABI

well .. this is complicated

you met him in a very dark bar, with dangerous people around you, you should know that nothing good was going to come out

And that's the harsh reality

If some man looks at you too much while you two are walking in the city, don't doubt for a second that he is going to start a fight for you

too jealous

always has a hand on your hip, wherever you guys are

kisses with him are always passionate, long and very loud, he always bites your lower lip until it starts to bleed

It is difficult to be the girlfriend, sometimes he spends MONTHS by your side, and suddenly, one morning you wake up and he is no longer by your side, you know that he left

You have no choice but to cry, you don't know if the tears are from fear and worry, or that your heart broke because the reason why he left is that he got tired of you

you hate him because this lasts many more months than he spends by your side

and you hate him much more when he comes back full of wounds

your discussion is very intense at that moment, it even ends in mutual physical attacks

you have many burns on your skin because of his quirk

he feels something very annoying on his chest every time he sees those scars

but not everything is bad, to the surprise of many

always steal vodka from some store for you, you two love to drink together until you lose consciousness

some nights, he carries you to the shared bed and proceeds to relax his whole body on yours, his head rests on the crook of your neck

take advantage of the moment to leave hickeys on your soft and sensitive skin

he's a fucking vampire, the next morning your neck is PURPLE

He also tells you about how stain's ideology means a lot in his disastrous life

you listen to him carefully and he falls in love much more because you are the only person who really listens to him seriously, even when your relationship has many ups and downs

CHISAKI KAI

I would dare to say that you are his girlfriend against your own will

he is fucking overhaul, he is with you probably because you are one of his whims

He is so cold, he never hugs you and never kisses you, sometimes you feel like you are nothing

but you have to understand something, his job and responsibilities force him to be heartless with EVERYONE

if you don't take a shower first, he won't let you sleep next to him

he won't even let you out of the basement if it's not for a good and justified reason

he always takes showers with you, it is the only moment he can share with you without a care

he even grabs you by the waist and kisses you really hard, which never happens

he is VERY possessive

you are HIS and nobody else's

for that reason he becomes very annoying on days when you don't want him to touch you

btw he doesn't care 💀

two of his men follow you EVERYWHERE

deep inside, you are one of his top priorities

does not tell you or anyone else, but constantly misses your presence and cares a lot about you

You better not get sick, because if that happens you are going to force him to use his quirk with you, and he may love you, but he is not a compassionate man

you love Eri, and you don't like what they do to her but you can't fight for her either, so all you do is play with her to give her something from the childhood she's losing :(

Kai sees this and doesn't like it, but admits that after playing with you Eri is less resistant, so it is beneficial to his plan.

Your boyfriend thinks that there are many things in the world that are wrong and the solution is to eliminate them, he also knows that you are wrong, but he sees a solution for you

SHIGARAKI TOMURA

(look at his arms omg)

dating him is DANGEROUS

dangerous and frustrating

he doesn't care if another man fucks you, if he's in the mood he won't waste time killing people for stupid reasons

you are the stupid reason 💀

well .. your discussions are INSANE

you THROW things at him, you can't let him get CLOSER to you, you know he won't hesitate to KILL YOU

Kurogiri: *sighs*

you cry a lot after arguing, like a LOT

He may be a psychopath, but when he calms down and sees your tears all over your face, something VERY annoying settles on his skin

"oi.. sorry" don't wait for more

He lets you hug him all you want, he won't admit it but he's SOFT with u

I think your relationship is not official, you are the woman he likes the most and makes him horny, he is with you when he wants

hands on your waist whenever you're around

and you're with the only person who shows his face all the time, he says it's easy to kiss you

he loves to kiss you, just kiss you, that's reason enough for you to be his girlfriend

lets you try different skin care with him, but IN PRIVATE

you always wear tight clothes and he gets horny 🥵

When he's this affectionate with you, he kills anyone who dares to look at you

Shigaraki doesn't know how to love, the only people who ever loved him are dead because of him

He is very worried that the same thing happens to you, help him to love you

you are the only person who holds his hands without fear of being hurt

and he doesn't understand why, but you make something inside him warm in a nice way

🦋🦋🦋

— I really hope you liked it, I am very new to this and my English is not very good 💀

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sungtaro · 3 years ago

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hi! hope you're doing well♡ there was something i wanted to ask you about. i don't stan a lot of groups but you stan a lot of groups right? from what i know(which is not much so correct me if i'm wrong), if you discover a group and you like them, you watch all of their videos and they become a group you stan or even end up being one of your faves. and then you discover another group and watch their videos and fall in love with them. this way you discover a lot of groups and never run out of content. my sister is worried that when she finishes watching all videos of the group she ults and decides to watch videos of another group that she's interested in to spend her time, they'll become her new ult and when she's done watching their videos and decides to watch another groups videos they'll become her ult and so on. she thinks that if she watches videos of a group in her free time for a certain period, they'll be all she thinks about and they're bound to become her new ult. she's afraid that she won't love her favorite group as much as the other group she watches. because her favorite group used to be someone else before and she never imagined that she'd love any other group as much as them but it happened and she thinks it'll will happen again everytime she decides to learn about another group. she doesn't want another group to be her favorite and to stop loving her ult any less than she does now. you stan so many groups and you're constantly trying to learn about more groups. is this what happens to you? what's your experience with the groups you stan and your ults?

thank you and sorry for this really long and weird message 😅💖

hey !! this is such an interesting message, thank u for bringing it to me. everyone is going to be different when it comes to getting into groups and figuring out relationships to them, but i can tell you what my experience has been like. i'll put it under the cut though since i'm sure it'll get long !

i have only been a kpop fan for like a year and a half now, and when i first got into it, like a lot of people it was through BTS. i hadn't thought i'd dive into other groups because i was like who has time when there is SO much content ??? but when i came here to tumblr i was seeing a lot of txt at the time and they caught my interest with the blue hour aesthetic. i fell in love with them and knew that something was different for me with them than what i had with bangtan, so like you described, that cycle started and i watched everything and they became my favorite group. there were also other groups that i got into more casually but still watched a lot of content for at the same time, like cix and enhypen. i think i was more like ... concerned earlier on about taking on too many groups in the beginning because i also worried they would ALL end up my favorites and i'd never have enough time for all of them, all the content is overwhelming. but the more groups i've gotten into, the more i can kind of tell right away whether they'll be one of my favorites or not. sometimes a group really just clicks with you and you want to know everything about them, but i find that still doesn't always mean i'll ult them. like i really enjoy watching content for and keeping up with wei, to1, e'last, etc but they aren't ult groups for me. even with txt, i'll always consider them one of my favorite groups but i don't watch all of their content anymore and their more recent comebacks haven't connected with me the way blue hour did. sometimes i do get kind of sad because they were what got me into creating content, they helped me really make my community here, and i will always adore the boys. but i think it's okay for things to ebb and flow with your faves because we do get SO much content and new music all the time, not everything is going to resonate with you every time. only you can decide who your ults are and there's no criteria for like ... justifying it. treasure is my FAVORITE group and i can consistently say that, even after a year of waiting for a comeback, they have stayed that. even though i've found new groups that i love and have become invested in and have also become some of my favorites, like ab6ix and golcha, i still love treasure the most. they just are so special to me and i think you can tell when a group feels like they are meant for you. so for your sister i think if a group is really something special to her, it won't matter which other groups she discovers and falls in love with. it's okay to have multiple favorites and to go through periods of time where you don't keep up as well or just aren't as connected to all of them. i hope that this all makes sense and isn't too all over the place. i don't know if i answered your questions haha please feel free to come back and let me know if you want to talk about any of this more! it's really interesting! <3

#being a multi is both overwhelming and rewarding haha but i guess the most important thing i'd drive home #is that there are no rules and we all get to decide how we define our own relationships to being a fan <3 #erimail #mail from: anonymous friend!#long post

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fairycosmos · 4 years ago

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you seem like you loved your sister so much & neither of you deserve to live lives of pain. i have a sister too & i'm going to kill myself soon & everything's ready. she doesn't love me & definitely not the way you loved yours so unconditionally but i feel sorry about it anyway. but one can't always live in pain just to spare others, right? i lived enough. all i know is that you never deserved this and neither did she. i hope she's at peace. it was never your fault.

hey. i’m not going to pretend i know the details of the dynamic between you and your sister, nor am i going to act like i can change your mind about any of this as a stranger on the internet when you’re obviously going through very deeply rooted issues that need real medical attention n treatment. or at the very least the attention of someone in your actual life. at the same time, you know i’m not just going to let this sort of thing fly in my inbox either. so i’ll talk for a bit and if you want to listen and take some of it on board, then that’s great. if not, that’s ok too. i really hope you do though, even if your brain is screaming at you not to. that it’s all pointless and all the usual shit. again, i don’t know the ins and outs of your relationship with your sister, and i don’t mean to minimize whatever struggle you’ve had with her. i’m sure its been unimaginably difficult, and i do feel lucky to have been such great friends with my own. i know it’s not the case for everyone, so maybe my perspective is skewed. but i can tell you that the state of your relationship with her is not going to minimize the grief or the heartache losing you will cause. because death throws all of that shit right into perspective in a very real, unchangeable way. and it is like nothing you can currently think of. you are still siblings. you still had a whole life together, and you are the only people in the world who were raised the exact same way. there’s always going to be a bond and there’s always going to be some part of her that cares. before my sister died, we were not as close as we had been previously. we weren’t properly fighting or anything, but drugs estrange you from people and we had had more rough moments than usual. and some moments i didn’t recognize her. we weren’t spending as much time with each other either. and it didn’t change a thing. i think about the fights now, or all those hours i spent not talking to her when she was just in the other room. and i just know innately it was beyond stupid. but i don’t blame her, i don’t hate her. i don’t sit there and think i’m glad she’s gone just because there were moments she infuriated me. i know that’s my situation, and maybe ours are incomparable. and if she has been abusive to you in some way, i don’t blame you at all for feeling this way. but i just know that when you are suicidal you are biased against yourself, automatically. your brain will twist every relationship and situation in your life to justify killing yourself. it will force you to think in black and whites - according to your mind, it’s not that you’re struggling right now, it’s that your whole life is doomed. it’s not that you and your sister have a difficult relationship, it’s that she can’t stand you and you guys will never ever reconcile. more often than not reality lies in the grey areas between. i think it’s important to rationalize and hold onto that whenever you’re able to. even if you have to force it. but don’t think for a second she’s not going to spend the rest of her life thinking about you. if you are unfamiliar with grief you might not understand the gravity of it. i’ve had people message me saying that seeing the way i am about my sister has made them entirely rethink taking their own lives because they did not realize how permanent and intense loss truly is. i’m not saying it’s the same for you, i don’t know what you’ve been through, but the fact that you already feel sorry towards her tells me you can see this for what it is more than you want to admit. there are people around you who love you. your absence is not going to be a blip for them, it is going to shape their lives because you shape their lives by being here. none of this is what you believe it to be right now.

but i’m not trying to guilt you into staying alive, either. i know that’s not fair. it’s not - and you’re right. you shouldn’t live purely for others, not always. especially when you’re in pain. but when you’re in a very bad place, sometimes it’s just about what’s going to get you to tomorrow, or the next moment. if that’s the thought of your family, and feeling bad about doing this to them, then welcome it. any reason is good enough. and maybe in time you’ll be able to get to a place where you live for yourself, in fact i’m sure of it, but right now you obviously believe that’s impossible. it’s absolutely not, but that’s likely how you feel. i’ve heard that being actively suicidal is such an intense feeling that it doesn’t last super long - you can spend weeks or months being passively suicidal, but the actual moment of being at risk of attempting always burns out rather fast. and people who have attempted generally report that that regret starts seeping in when it’s a bit too late. i really do not want you to have to experience that. instead of harming yourself, it is going to serve you so much more to work on trying to minimize the pain a little more each day, however you can. i don’t mean that in a patronizing way, i know you’re tired and i know it’s not that easy. all of this is easier said than done. but you do not have to kill yourself just because you have things ‘ready’. you don’t have to do anything. you don’t know what’s going to happen from one day to the next, and you don’t have to have a plan. just think about the present moment and what you can do to help yourself in a positive way right now. nothing is set in stone. clearly you have a lot going on and you need to think about seeking the help you need from those around you before you think seriously about anything else. whether it’s your parents, a family member, a suicide hotline, your doctor, a support group, any therapist or counsellor in your area. literally anything is worth the try, even just picking up the phone tomorrow and seeing what your options are. just let them know how you’re feeling and what you’re thinking, like you were able to do with me. you’re seeing things from a very specific point of view right now. i’m not bullshitting you when i say that talking to someone, analysing your thoughts and emotions out loud n learning how to cope with them in healthy ways that you can incorporate into your daily routine CAN change the image you have of yourself and your future in your head. and even the relationships w those around you. depression is an illness, it permeates every part of your life until you can’t see beyond it. and it needs intense treatment the same way any physical ailment does, but it is not a death sentence just because you’re exhausted in this moment. you might not be able to believe it right now, but you have to stick around to see that i’m right. you might as well. besides my family, the only other thing keeping me here is the knowledge that i am going to spend eternity dead any way. this is all just a flash in the pan and you might as well save everyone and yourself the heartbreak by experiencing it for what it is rather than trying to end it prematurely. anyway, i know i could go on and on about this so i’ll shut up but please. just consider the other choices in front of you, man. you deserve better. i sincerely believe it’s waiting for you. you haven’t lived enough because you’re still here, and there’s still a whole future waiting for you. that’s not a bad thing. there are ways to learn that it is not a bad thing. please consider reaching out to those around you or to a professional, please. my inbox will always be open if you need a friend, and you’re not alone. if you have the compassion to believe i don’t deserve pain, and that that shit wasn’t my fault, surely you can extend a little towards yourself too. please take care, get through minute by minute. i believe in u.

https://www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines

#dont send me any asshole asks abt this im replying to some 1 who approached me in my own inbox alright .#tw suicide #anon

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mostlysignssomeportents · 6 years ago

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Artists against Article 13: when Big Tech and Big Content make a meal of creators, it doesn't matter who gets the bigger piece

Article 13 is the on-again/off-again controversial proposal to make virtually every online community, service, and platform legally liable for any infringing material posted by their users, even very briefly, even if there was no conceivable way for the online service provider to know that a copyright infringement had taken place.

This will require unimaginable sums of money to even attempt, and the attempt will fail. The outcome of Article 13 will be a radical contraction of alternatives to the U.S. Big Tech platforms and the giant media conglomerates. That means that media companies will be able to pay creators less for their work, because creators will have no alternative to the multinational entertainment giants.

Throwing Creators Under the Bus

The media companies lured creators' groups into supporting Article 13 by arguing that media companies and the creators they distribute have the same interests. But in the endgame of Article 13, the media companies threw their creator colleagues under the bus, calling for the deletion of clauses that protect artists' rights to fair compensation from media companies, prompting entirely justifiable howls of outrage from those betrayed artists' rights groups.

But the reality is that Article 13 was always going to be bad for creators. At best, all Article 13 could hope for was to move a few euros from Big Tech's balance-sheet to Big Content's balance-sheet (and that would likely be a temporary situation). Because Article 13 would reduce the options for creators by crushing independent media and tech companies, any windfalls that media companies made would go to their executives and shareholders, not to the artists who would have no alternative but to suck it up and take what they're offered.

After all: when was the last time a media company celebrated a particularly profitable year by increasing their royalty rates?

It Was Always Going to Be Filters

The initial versions of Article 13 required companies to build copyright filters, modeled after YouTube's "Content ID" system: YouTube invites a select group of trusted rightsholders to upload samples of works they claim as their copyright, and then blocks (or diverts revenue from) any user's video that seems to match these copyright claims.

There are many problems with this system. On the one hand, giant media companies complain that they are far too easy for dedicated infringers to defeat; and on the other hand, Content ID ensnares all kinds of legitimate forms of expression, including silence, birdsong, and music uploaded by the actual artist for distribution on YouTube. Sometimes, this is because a rightsholder has falsely claimed copyrights that don't belong to them; sometimes, it's because Content ID generated a "false positive" (that is, made a mistake); and sometimes it's because software just can't tell the difference between an infringing use of a copyrighted work and a use that falls under "fair dealing," like criticism, commentary, parody, etc. No one has trained an algorithm to recognise parody, and no one is likely to do so any time soon (it would be great if we could train humans to reliably recognise parody!).

Copyright filters are a terrible idea. Google has spent a reported $100 million (and counting) to build a very limited copyright filter that only looks at videos and only blocks submissions from a select group of pre-vetted rightsholders. Article 13 covers all possible copyrighted works: text, audio, video, still photographs, software, translations. And some versions of Article 13 have required platforms to block infringing publications of every copyrighted work, even those that no one has told them about: somehow, your community message-board for dog-fanciers is going to have to block its users from plagiarising 50-year-old newspaper articles, posts from other message-boards, photos downloaded from social media, etc. Even the milder "compromise" versions of Article 13 required online services to block publication of anything they'd been informed about, with dire penalties for failing to honour a claim, and no penalties for bogus claims.

But even as filters block things that aren't copyright infringement, they still allow dedicated infringers to operate with few hindrances. That's because filters use relatively simple, static techniques to inspect user uploads, and infringers can probe the filters' blind-spots for free, trying different techniques until they hit on ways to get around them. For example, some image filters can be bypassed by flipping the picture from left to right, or rendering it in black-and-white instead of color. Filters are “black boxes” that can be repeatedly tested by dedicated infringers to see what gets through.

For non-infringers — the dolphins caught in copyright's tuna-nets — there is no underground of tipsters who will share defeat-techniques to help get your content unstuck. If you're an AIDS researcher whose videos have been falsely claimed by AIDS deniers in order to censor them, or police brutality activists whose bodycam videos have been blocked by police departments looking to evade criticism, you are already operating at the limit of your abilities, just pursuing your own cause. You can try to become a filter-busting expert in addition to your research, activism, or communications, but there are only so many hours in a day, and the overlap between people with something to say and people who can figure out how to evade overzealous (or corrupted) copyright filters just isn't very large.

All of this put filters into such bad odor that mention of them was purged from Article 13, but despite obfuscation, it was clear that Article 13's purpose was to mandate filters: there's just no way to imagine that every tweet, Facebook update, message-board comment, social media photo, and other piece of user-generated content could be evaluated for copyright compliance without an automated system. And once you make online forums liable for their users' infringement, they have to find some way to evaluate everything their users post.

Just Because Artists Support Media Companies, It Doesn't Mean Media Companies Support Artists

Spending hundreds of millions of euros to build filters that don't stop infringers but do improperly censor legitimate materials (whether due to malice, incompetence, or sloppiness) will not put any money in artists' pockets.

Which is not to say that these won't tilt the balance towards media companies (at least for a while). Because filters will always fail at least some of the time, and because Article 13 doesn't exempt companies from liability when this happens, Big Tech will have to come to some kind of accommodation with the biggest media companies — Get Out Of Jail cards, along with back-channels that media companies can use to get their own material unstuck when it is mistakenly blocked by a filter. (It’s amazing how often one part of a large media conglomerate will take down its own content, uploaded by another part of the same sprawling giant.)

But it's pretty naive to imagine that transferring money from Big Tech to Big Content will enrich artists. Indeed, since there's no way that smaller European tech companies can afford to comply with Article 13, artists will have no alternative but to sign up with the major media companies, even if they don't like the deal they're offered.

Smaller companies play an important role today in the EU tech ecosystem. There are national alternatives to Instagram, Google, and Facebook that outperform U.S. Big Tech in their countries of origin. These will not survive contact with Article 13. Article 13's tiny exemptions for smaller tech companies were always mere ornaments, and the latest version of Article 13 renders them useless.

Smaller tech companies will also be unable to manage the inevitable flood of claims by copyright trolls and petty grifters who see an opportunity.

Smaller media companies — often run by independent artists to market their own creations, or those of a few friends — will likewise find themselves without a seat at the table with Big Tech, whose focus will be entirely on keeping the media giants from using Article 13's provisions to put them out of business altogether.

Meanwhile, “filters for everything” will be a bonanza for fraudsters and crooks who prey on artists. Article 13 will force these systems to err on the side of over-blocking potential copyright violations, and that's a godsend for blackmailers, who can use bogus copyright claims to shut down artists' feeds, and demand money to rescind the claims. In theory, artists victimised in this way can try to get the platforms to recognise the scam, but without the shelter of a big media company with its back-channels into the big tech companies, these artists will have to get in line behind millions of other people who have been unjustly filtered to plead their case.

If You Think Big Tech Is Bad Now...

In the short term, Article 13 tilts the field toward media companies, but that advantage will quickly evaporate.

Without the need to buy or crush upstart competitors in Europe, the American tech giants will only grow bigger and harder to tame. Even the aggressive antitrust work of the European Commission will do little to encourage competition if competing against Big Tech requires hundreds of millions for copyright compliance as part of doing business — costs that Big Tech never had to bear while it was growing, and that would have crushed the tech companies before they could grow.

Ten years after Article 13 passes, Big Tech will be bigger than ever and more crucial to the operation of media companies. The Big Tech companies will not treat this power as a public trust to be equitably managed for all: they will treat it as a commercial advantage to be exploited in every imaginable way. When the day comes that FIFA or Universal or Sky needs Google or Facebook or Apple much more than the tech companies need the media companies, the tech companies will squeeze, and squeeze, and squeeze.

This will, of course, harm the media companies' bottom line. But you know who else it will hurt?

Artists.

Because media giants, like other companies who have a buyer's market for their raw materials — that is, art and other creative works — do not share their windfalls with their suppliers, but they absolutely expect their suppliers to share their pain.

When media companies starve, they take artists with them. When artists have no other option, the media companies squeeze them even harder.

What Is To Be Done?

Neither media giants nor tech giants have artists' interests at heart.

Both kinds of company are full of people who care about artists, but institutionally, they act for their shareholders, and every cent they give to an artist is a cent they can't return to those investors.

One important check on this dynamic is competition. Antitrust regulators have many tools at their disposal, and those tools have been largely idle for more than a generation. Companies have been allowed to grow by merger, or by acquiring nascent competitors, leaving artists with fewer media companies and fewer tech companies, which means more chokepoints where they are shaken down for their share of the money from their work.

Another important mechanism could be genuine copyright reform, such as re-organizing the existing regulatory framework for copyright, or encouraging new revenue-sharing schemes such as voluntary blanket licenses, which could allow artists to opt into a pool of copyrights in exchange for royalties.

Any such scheme must be designed to fight historic forms of corruption, such as collecting societies that unfairly share out license payments, or media companies that claim these. That’s the sort of future-proof reform that the Copyright Directive could have explored, before it got hijacked by vested interests.

In the absence of these policies, we may end up enriching the media companies, but not the artists whose works they sell. In an unfair marketplace, simply handing more copyrights to artists is like giving your bullied kid extra lunch-money: the bullies will just take the extra money, too, and your kid will still go hungry.

Artists Should Be On the Side of Free Expression

It's easy to focus on media and art when thinking about Article 13, but that's not where its primary effect will be felt.

The platforms that Article 13 targets aren't primarily entertainment systems: they are used for everything, from romance to family life, employment to entertainment, health to leisure, politics and civics, and more besides.

Copyright filters will impact all of these activities, because they will all face the same problems of false-positives, censorship, fraud and more.

The arts has always championed free expression for all, not just for artists. Big Tech and Big Media already exert enormous control over our public and civic lives. Dialing that control up is bad for all of us, not just those of us in the arts.

Artists and audiences share an interest in promoting the fortunes of artists: people don't buy books or music or movies because they want to support media companies, they do it to support creators. As always, the right side for artists to be on is the side of the public: the side of free expression, without corporate gatekeepers of any kind.

Take Action

Stop Article 13

https://boingboing.net/2019/02/24/lucy-and-football.html

#article 13

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