#but that doesn't mean he's giving shit to people without their consent

[uglypastels]

Eddie's the type of guy people expect will spike the punch bowl at a school event, but in reality he's the guy adding water or soda into the house party jungle juice.

[suiana]

fellas, have you ever wondered if a man could ever be as adorable and cute as a baby kitten? well now you can experience and love on in real life! suiana presents to you innocent! yandere and smitten reader ❤️

your very own innocent boy who doesn't even know what NNN or OF means. his instagram feed is full of baking and and clothing ideas, he goes out to help stray animals, and he goes on daily walks to the park to reconnect with nature. he has no idea what a skibidi toilet is, brain completely nourished with the books he borrows from the library. yeah, this guy smells like bread and cookies too btw, he does lots of baking. and cooking. have i mentioned he's completely skilled in the kitchen? yeah, he is.

by some stroke of luck, you meet him one day and... look, he's just the cutest thing ever! i mean, he's fashionable, smells good, and was even defending a stray dog from being bullied by some kids. so you ask him out on a date, but the second you ask him the question you swear you could just die on the spot... because tell me why his entire face is red and he's genuinely so happy??? all smiley faced and blushing like a tomato???

oh it's his first time getting asked out and he's flustered??? he's never been approached by anyone before??? he thinks you're really attractive and he would like to go out on a date too??? oh my god guys, he's even asking if you're comfortable with him rambling like this and not trying to get too close without your consent😭

anyway the two of you go out on a date and you think you just might marry him on the spot with how much of a gentleman he's being??? INSISTING on paying for your meal, respecting your distance and being genuinely curious about you on a deeper level. no mention of hooking up, being casual fwb or anything like that. he's... actually looking for a serious relationship unlike your previous partners? holy shit? so you asked him his thoughts on cheating and some other stuff...

"so what are your thoughts on cheating?"

"cheating?"

"yeah, like when you get with someone else when you're dating."

"isn't that illegal?"

HELLO??? he thinks cheating is ILLEGAL??? you had to spend the rest of your date trying not to cry or hug him because he ended up finding out some devastating news.

"yes... cheating is illegal unfortunately."

"I don't know why. it should be illegal, that is a very bad thing to do 😦 do people actually cheat? really? no way."

UGRHGRGR you two end up dating and he's the sweetest guy you've been with. cute date nights, reassurance that you're perfect and enough, handmade gifts and deep talks into the night that deepen your bond together... the only problem is just that maybe he's a little too sweet.

he's constantly buying you gifts, telling you how much he appreciates you and just... being the perfect boyfriend? the perfect clingy boyfriend.

at first you found it cute. but...

why is he so in love with you? why is he so nice? you don't know what to do with a man as sweet as him and can only give into his seemingly harmful actions. you used to think that he had an ulterior motive but... you don't know whether you're being deceived or not. why would you? he's not being manipulative. how could he ever be manipulative? he's just a sweet and nice green flag!

asking you to always be with him? that's just a romantic thing everyone else says. chasing away any people who shows the slightest bit of interest, even if it's not confirmed to be romantic? what kind of boyfriend would he be if he didn't do that? asking for your location if you ever try to go out without him? silly lover, why would you worry him like that?

no no, he's not being possessive. okay, maybe he is. it's just a tiny bit though! surely you're fine with that. after all, he's still treating you like the royalty that you are. he should be allowed some grace for his unwillingness to share.

you're not sure whether or not he's truly innocent or not. was he even innocent to begin with? maybe, maybe not. perhaps it was all just an act...

but you shouldn't think that. why would you think badly of your boyfriend who's only ever been sweet to you? even during fights, he doesn't raise his voice and actively listens to you, trying to resolve the issue. he could never want to hurt you.

after all, he's your innocent boyfriend that you're smitten with, right?

[yougavememyopia]

Tags: Manipulative masochistic yandere, mean annoyed reader, stalking, yandere behavior, isolating, cursing, hair pulling, choking, he does a lot of stuff without consent.

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"Hellooo~? There you are. I've been looking all over for you. Where have you been? Don't tell me you're avoiding me..." Your stalker whined in that annoying tone, making you roll your eyes almost instinctively. "Because I'll be really, really sad."

You shifted on the grass you were sitting on, debating on whether to stay or flee. It didn't matter. He would follow you around until you gave in and talked to him.

He sat beside you, too close for comfort. You finally looked at him as he made a small whimpering noise. You knew that indicated him crying crocodile tears if you continued your negligence. "You're driving me insane with your bullshit."

"Aww, are you getting tired of little ol' me?" He smirked. He knew you hated when he acted all cocky, so he decided to pout instead. Looking up at you with a soft, innocent look. "But... but I've done so much for your attention. Look, I even wore this pretty sweater for you."

"I don't give a shit. It's not going to change my view of you. You're a fucking nutcase. It doesn't matter what you do, I'm still gonna reject you."

His face fell. A blank look on his face. It was always scary when he showed no emotion. Like you were getting a glimpse of his true self. You shifted your gaze away, unable to control the shivers you got. Were you too harsh? He always acted so fake. You could never tell what he actually thought.

"You say that, but you'll miss me. I'm the most interesting person around!" His cute smile returned. He clasped his hands together and brought it up to his cheek. "You won't admit it because of your big ego. But I know. Under your cold exterior, there's a softie."

"If I want you around, it's not because of that. It's because of your psychological manipulation, dumbass. The love bombing? Ring a bell?"

"Ah, so you admit it! You do care about me! You want me around. I'm your favorite, right~?" He leaned his cheek into his hand. Batting his eyelashes at you to drive you more crazy. "Might as well go ahead and accept me. I'm not going anywhere. You're not going anywhere. It's meant to be!"

"Ughhh, fuck!" You cursed, slapping your forhead. He did this often; twisting your words into something totally different. "Every single fucking day. It's the same thing. You and your delusions. You won't accept my rejections."

"Then we'd never be together." He commented. He furrowed his eyebrows to show confusion, putting his hands on his lap. "We've come so far already. And I know one day, we'll finally be together! Who knows, maybe today is the day."

His head tilted, and he smiled brightly at you. The gesture making your blood boil. He knew how to act right, to seem more attractive to you. His practiced smile and the quiet mumbled voice drew you in. The weirdly submissive side of him appealed to you. As if he was waiting for you to finally take control of him.

Despite all that, you couldn't look past the creepy things he has done. There were the "coincidental" meetings he admitted to being stalking, stating how he couldn't be apart from you for so long or how he was bored without you. The small souvenirs that he collected, like your hairclip, to put on his hair, or even the bigger items that he took, like your hoodie, to wear and show how he was yours. He tried to isolate you as much as he could. Sticking close to you wherever you went. Finding sneaky ways to get rid of other people around you. His unhealthy obsession was slowly ruining your life.

You've gotten used to it all. Not fazed if he did something stupid for your attention. He tricked you into going on dates with him so many times. You were practically dating. It was hard to admit it to yourself, but you had a soft spot for him. For some weird reason, you enjoyed his company. You enjoyed playing with him. He was entertaining. Interesting.

He suddenly crawled behind you, his hands grasping your shoulders. "You're so tense." He leaned in to your ear and whispered. "You've been on edge for a few days now. Do I really scare you that much?"

You scoffed. "What do you think?"

"Please, I'm harmless! I should help you relax. Treat you to a nice massage." He began to rub your shoulders and slowly moved closer to your neck. His hands worked skillfully to press against your tensed muscles. Drawing circles and kneading your flesh. "Maybe more physical intimacy will help. Something different, perhaps?"

He took advantage of your lack of fight and relaxed state. Throwing his arms around your waist, hugging you from behind. His face nuzzled against the crook of your neck as he inhaled and breathed out a sigh. "I love your smell. I gotta buy your perfume. Well, I have your clothes, so it's kinda the same thing. I never get tired of smelling you~"

"Seriously?" You mumbled. Your skin pickled from his warm breath. The feeling of him sniffing you with his nose brushing against your sensitive skin gave you small shivers. His grip on you grew tighter as you tried to move. His grasp on you almost suffocating. You kick the grass in exasperation. "Augh... Fuck you."

"Is that a promise~?" He giggled and rubbed his nose against your neck more deliberately. "I love the way you talk to me. Always so aggressive. So passionate~ You only act this way towards me. Like I'm special to you."

"Haah..." You clenched the grass beside you. Fingers poked with their pointy heads while you hold onto your anger. "You always do what you want. I never gave you permission to hug me."

"You need it. It'll calm you down. Take away all that stress. And! And.. I give the best hugs ever." He squeezed you tight against his chest. "But if that's not working, I can always try something else. Something that feels even better."

Before you could protest, he began to kiss your neck. Placing long, soft kisses against your skin. Finding the right spots that made you shudder. "Ah...! Hey-?!?"

You struggled against him, but he was determined. Weirdly strong for his short stature. His hands pulled your shirt lower so he could have more access. Kissing along your neck to your shoulder. His tongue joined in between the pecks. It brushed over your skin, coating everywhere with saliva. He lapped at your skin, drawing a line from the bottom of your neck all the way up. Goosebumps covered your body. Your cursing and protests still being ignored.

You reached a hand up to his hair, pulling it, trying to get him to stop. "You're crazy! Let me go."

"Nngh!" He moaned out. You couldn't win with him. Anything you did, he loved. Treating him like garbage or ignoring him completely. He was utterly devoted to you. "Oh, that felt good. Do it again. But harder. Pretty please~"

"Fucking masochist. How did I end up with someone so messed up?" You tugged his hair again, more firmer this time, making him moan louder. He started doing different things to your neck, sucking and nibbling on the skin. You couldn't control the small grunting noises from spilling. "I swear, if you leave a mark, I'll choke you to death-!"

He seemed to like the threat. His movements becoming frantic. He was definitely leaving a mark. Just to despite you. "Mmh~ Feels good..." His hands started to rub under your shirt. His nails digging into your skin.

He panted against your neck as you stopped. You rubbed his scalp instead, enjoying the feeling of his soft, well-cared hair between your fingers. He nuzzled against you, hugging you loosely. "Ahh... You didn't struggle as much as I thought. Did I change your mind? Do you believe me now when I say that I won't ever leave? Oh, that reminds me. I think it's about time I move in with you."

"What the fuck are you going on about?" You sighed in annoyance. His love was driving you insane. There was so much a person could take until they compromised with the weirdo who wouldn't leave them alone.

"Oh, come on! I've been waiting forever. I'm moving my stuff in first thing in the morning."

You pushed him away with force. Pinning his shoulders to the ground and climbing on top of him. "You're makin' me really angry. I don't want you around. Why can't you get that through your thick skull?"

He chuckled, looking up at you. "I'm not giving up on us. Ever. You're stuck with me whether you like it or not. Plus, you've got nobody else to turn to, remember?"

"Ughh." Your hands close around his throat with force. "You act this way to provoke me. You enjoy this. Do you get off when I do these things to you? Hm? Is this what you want? I can't believe I actually fell for you. Good-for-nothing stalker."

He arched his back and closed his eyes, humming slightly. He was enjoying every second of this. You tightened your grip. The lack of oxygen making him squirm underneath you, but he knew you'd never kill him. His hands grabbed your knees. He just had to touch you in some way. Clingy as ever. The tent in his pants no surprise to either of you.

"I wanna do something that'll make you speechless for once. You're always doing unexpected things to me. Well, how about this?" You leaned down and kissed him. Pushing him further down and roughly shoving your tongue past his lips. Secretly, it was an excuse for you to be reminded of the sweet cherry taste in his mouth. (You knew tasted like that on purpose to lure you in.)

This wasn't your first kiss. He frequently planted small pecks on your cheeks and "accidentally" on your mouth. Though, after the second time, it was obvious he was doing it on purpose. While you kept protesting, you couldn't deny the spark you felt when your lips met. It felt good— unfortunately, it seemed like this batshit crazy guy was your only option. And the only option you'd ever choose.

He groaned softly, relaxing and allowing you to do whatever you wanted with him. Kissing you back with passion and true devotion. He always emphasized how he was yours to use. You pulled away to look at the smirk on his face, your hands cupping his cheeks. Squishing them together. "Don't look so happy. This doesn't mean I'm accepting you. I just, sometimes, like using you. But you're not moving in."

"We'll see about that. I bet I can change your mind." He commented, leaning his cheek to your hands and chuckling. "I have a few compelling arguments. I can cook. I can clean. I can do anything you want me to. So, won't you please reconsider? Pretty please?"

Pt. 2

[presepohne]

peaches and wine.

nsfw. Fuckboy!John McTavish x F!Reader [ALTERNATE UNIVERSE]

summary: johnny fucks the sweet innocent bird, just a trailer or intro to the bigger oneshot i'm writing.

warnings: johnny is a filthy man and we love that, the reader is inexperienced asf, virgin, just the reader getting half way naked, mostly for shits and giggles.

note: as i was taking forever for the johnny smut so i posted a small snippet from it.

FULL FIC !

Johnny has seen many men and women in his life, fucked 'em good. Pretty blondes, sassy women, men who could bend him at different angles, women who could step on him, men who would beg for him, women who are sweet and kind, men who are absolutely amazing at their dick game, women who cheated on their husbands, experienced and inexperienced alike.

And gods, he loves women and men both.

But women mostly.

But it bewilders him to see you creep up to him at a party. He knows you, yeah he does. He has seen you lurk at the last benches of the classes, a pen in your mouth or sometimes fiddling with it. You're a good student, great even— top scores always and he admires you for your dedication.

So it comes to him as a shock as you ask him to fuck you, straight up, no bulshit.

Clearly, you are drunk, cheeks flushed pretty as you pouted and fiddled with the hem of your shirt. The shorts looking so fucking good on you and making you ass look so fucking bite-able.

He shakes his head, clearly you're out of your mind. A sweetheart, who has never focused on anything else but her academics asking him to fuck you, without any hesitation.

"Aye lass you sure—"

He just wants to make sure, doesn't wanna take advantage, afterall he's a gentleman fuckboy. He'll ask if you're comfy, he'll make sure consent is consent, hell he'll stop half way naked if you ask him to stop.

But that gets a nervous reaction out of you, lips trembling and lashes damp with tears as you start to stutter, a fumbling mess with words as you try to look away, the soft bloom of red on your cheeks now absolutely flushing you.

That makes him groan, in want. He's trying to think of ten different ways to clam his chubbing up dick down.

Think about her doing maths– that's hot, fuck. Think about Simon– fuck he's hot too, think about Gaz— aye nah mate—

His brows are furrowed as he tries to negotiate with you— "Ay– lass nah me didn't wanne make ye cry–"

But it's already out of the box and you're getting all teary and sobbing so he complies.

He takes you to his apartment, doesn't shove his tongue down your throat— but does squeeze your waist as he leads you to his door— it's a nice place, smells like cheese more than anything. You grimace, but smile at him.

He looks at you, "Should I get ye some water lass?"

"No thank you"

Your head is now drowning in guilt— of using Johnny to lose your virginity. Some sort of pitch black feeling clawing up into the pit you call your stomach— salt already dampening your cheek because—

You are reminded of Simon's words.

Now you know you look all sweet and innocent, kind of a person who would never indulge into such activities, it makes you head spin how easily people fuck each other and give away their body.

It makes you absolutely sick.

But it also makes you feel alienated from your friend circle when they talk about sex, or one night stands. You awkwardly standing and looking here and there to appear nonchalant about the whole sex talk of your group.

It began to get worse everyday when your friends started to coo and coddle you with the tag of the innocent friend. To the point where they wouldn't really take you out— that's bad, that's mean.

Maybe logical too if you tried to squint a little— because honestly you really wouldn't enjoy.

But humiliation plays a bigger role and here you are at Johnny's apartment, fiddling with the buttons of your shirt as you try to undress yourself in a seductive manner failing horribly when you can't unbutton your shirt. Johnny has vanished somewhere in the hallway— you know Simon stays here too.

Simon, that bastard of a man. God's you want to punch him square in his face and maybe break his already crooked nose.

Tears that were on the bay now falling down your cheeks again as you wipe them furiously, recalling his words of dismissing you. Nah, don't do innocent girls like ya sweet'art. And turn around without soaring a second glance.

Johnny is back from god knows where with two popsicles in his hands, honestly he thought of trying to talk you out of it— share something sweet and book you a taxi back to your apartment.

You are half way undressed, bra on the floor, shirt crumpled somewhere along the doorway, your hands on your shorts— clearly unbuttoning it to pull 'em down.

A few minutes might have gone, Johnny gulps, the popsicles melting down his hands as he straightens up. "Ye– ye serious lass?" He's looking like a puppy, too shocked or something– closer to thanking God.

He does, in his head he is reciting prayers in the name of almighty suddenly.

Your skin is so tender, soft to look at and Johnny wonders how it would feel under his hands. Your breasts round and so fucking pretty, nipples perked up because of the cold air of the AC, your shy gaze.

All the fucking sheer will he used to clam his cock down thrown out of the window— (he shoved his dick under the cold tap water, blue balls) and the only thought that consumed him was how many angles would he be able to bend you in and fuck you raw.

You're a shy but squirmy thing now, arms wrapping around your chest instinctively as you look away, a hot blush of red over your skin as you bite your lips nervously, but then again you're more embarrassed and hurt at Simon's rejection than Johnny seeing you naked.

The surge of adrenaline as you look at him again and speak clearly, "John McTavish fuck me" has his blood searing down south.

He whistles, throws the popsicles into the dustbin.

"Aye— as you command mam—"

Oh he's gonna fuck you to oblivion.

[teojira]

[Dance with The Devil] [movie!Shadow x reader headcanons]

Summary: a collection of random headcanons/small scenarios based on my "Click Click Boom" post for Shadow!

Word count: 1.5k

Disclaimer (1): Harkness scale people, he is of age and can consent and is sentient. I'm allowed to want to kiss the hedgehog.

Disclaimer (2): This can be read as Romantic or Platonic! Though I did write it to be implied romance.

A/N: Yall asked for more, who am I to deny the people (I imagine kissing him every second of the day). I tried to hit a lot of asks all in one to give eveyrone what they asked for! I hope y'all enjoy! Reblogs and comments are super appreciated and motivate me to write more <3

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

Shadow is so extremely overprotective of you, borderline to an unhealthy agree but is it really when you're welcoming to it??

You, by all means, shouldn't encourage him. He's one of the strongest beings on the planet. He can't just make threats, God knows if he'll act out on them.

You can't help but let it happen though, a warm fuzzy feeling deep in your chest clouds your judgment for a few moments. Knowing that Shadow sees you as someone worth protecting, of caring for.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

Shadow baring his fangs at Sonic and fucking growling is new though.

"Shadow did you just- did you just fucking growl?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Sonic was just trying to hug me dude, relax.'

"He'll get his scent all over you. No."

Shadow turns his back on you, so he misses the blush that overtakes your entire face.

He has an inkling though, if the strangled cry from your throat is any indication.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

Riding ! With ! Him !!! He takes you on drives all the time, it helps him clear his head and it's his way of asking for physical contact without giving you idea, feeling you against his back and your body pressed up against his does wonder for his mental health, he'll purposefully take longer routes and side roads at night to keep you close.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

If you fall asleep on the couch, Shadow isn't gonna curl up with you, but he's next to the couch, head propped up against the arm rest as he watches over you. He's well aware he could just teleport you both to your room, but you look too peaceful :( and he knows he takes up all your time and energy, so he rather let you rest.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

Shadow always walks behind you. It's a nervous habit. If he wanders behind, he has the perfect view to scan for threats.

You go to tell him he's being paranoid, but stop yourself. The last person he cared for died, the girl who gave him a purpose. You shut your joke down fast, shaking your head when Shadow raises an eye bridge at your expression.

"Do you want to hold my hand?" You go with that instead.

"Absolutely not."

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

Please god can you imagine shopping for him, getting his leather jackets and what not bc he fucking deserves it, especially when you nervously claim that he needs the correct gear for riding his motorcycle and he hits you with:

"That's useless, I can easily chaos control if need be."

BUT HE DOESN'T RIDE WITHOUT IT EVER !!!! You even got it monogrammed, and he runs his thumb across it often, scoffing at himself when he realizes, snatching his hand away.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

Shadow likes to be useful, even though you tell him again and again that he doesn't owe you anything, he doesn't listen.

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If you wear makeup and ever fall asleep in it, you can't ever seem to remember if it was you who took it off, your memories jumbling up together to the point you're not sure.

It was Shadow, he knows you don't like showing others your bare face, which he thinks is ridiculous as shit, he likes you as you are, whether with makeup or bare, you're you.

Please I could cry imagining him so gently taking a makeup wipe and rubbing small circles to get that waterproof eyeliner off of you, eyes laser focused into his task. I'm gonna throw up.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

In the colder months, he's susceptible to being more mellow and relaxed. Despite being the ultimate life form and having fur, he still gets cold and hates the feeling.

This brings me to the fact that bro steals your blankets, he has no remorse and will walk right into your room to take your heated blanket. He's an asshole.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

Fully believes that nicknames are stupid and that they don't matter, the best he's gonna do for you is call you by your first Intial (ex: Teddy = T) It's rare that he'll do call you by it regardless, but beggers cannot be choosers.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

Getting matching bangles to match his inhibitor rings!! Makes him go stupid for a second, brain computing that oh??? You want to match him?? He's gonna tease you, but when you threaten to just take them off, he immediately goes quiet.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

The subject of being sick came up often in asks, and he struggles really hard with it. It's not obvious, but if you look closely, his quills are pin straight, and he's easily more agitated.

He's not mad at you, it's not your fault, it's just that seeing you curl up into bed brings back so many bad memories of when Maria has flare ups and couldn't leave her bed.

It made him feel useless. His whole reason for being was to help cure illness, maybe not the common cold. He's aware of that, but the point remains.

Shadow gets more docile, even going to ask Maddie what to do. The woman offers to come over and take care of you instead, but Shadow shuts her down quickly. He's more than capable, and he's a little overprotective.

"Are you sure? I don't mind, I don't have anything going on."

"That isn't necessary."

"But it might be better if it's m-"

"I can take care of them."

It's hard to argue with a 5ft hedgehog that can easily snap your neck, so she regents and hands him over some cold and flu medicine along with painkillers and vaporub and instructions. He looks so silly with all of it in his arms, Gatorade, water, the medicine, some food, but it warms your heart. You haven't had anyone really look after you when you were sick, always left to fend for yourself, so it's nice.

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For my period havers, I am on mine, so this made it in:

Shadow using his hands as personal heating pads for your stomach or the small of your back, you can't seem to remember where you put your heating pad so he sits there with you and just, shoves his hand onto your skin, it's added comfort due to his fur.

"Oh my god, that feels good."

You groan into your pillow, curling up into a ball, your back facing the ultimate lifeform.

"Is it really that bad?"

Shadow hums, moving to ever so slightly knead the skin, smirking to himself when you damn near moan at the feeling.

"You know damn fucking well it's that bad."

Shadow snorts.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

Once you're both closer, he allows you to touch him alot more, so long as you ask him first if you can run your fingers over his quills, he finds it soothing, it's common to find you both on the couch, fast asleep together with the TV set to come true crime YouTube video.

Sonic takes a million pictures, to which he sends to Shadow later. The black hedgehog doesn't say anything, but he secretly saves each one.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

Speaking of the others, you try and force him to spend time with team Sonic to varying degrees of success. Mainly the success being if you will also be there and be by his side. The team likes you well enough, always playfully telling you that they can handle Shadow if he ever hurts you.

Which gets them Shadow staring them down, his eyes lighting up as a warning.

You'd think they'd learn that this man doesn't play when it comes to you, but they're a bit stupid.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

When it comes to any insecurities you may have, he shuts that shit down IMMEDIATELY, you think it's because he genuinely doesn't give a fuck, but no, it's because he cares about you and will logically tell you facts. Does it help? It's varying, but he still tries.

Issue with your weight. He doesn't care. Are you healthy? That's all that matters. He's strong enough to lift you up, and he'll demonstrate it on you if need be. He doesn't know who put it into your head that there's any issue with it, but he'll fix it.

"Shadow, can I ask you something?"

"Go on."

"Does my weight ever bother you?"

"I am not like human men."

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

You're insecure about talking about your interests/hyperfixations? He actively will sit down and listen, eyes intense as he takes in every single word you're saying. He'll nod and hum, but his ears are flicked towards you, and Shadow will ask questions pertaining about the characters.

The motherfucker is healing you slowly but surely, mentally and sometimes physically.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

No one thinks that Shadow would be a good companion and will make jokes offhandily that they're sorry that YOU'RE stuck with him, and you don't correct them. They don't deserve to know him.

They don't get to know how the lifeform curls up next to you on his bad days, seeking your affection.

The hedgehog who helps you dry the dishes after every meal with a way too focused look on his face.

The Shadow that always cracks dry ass jokes in hopes to make you smile after a long day.

It's your little secret, and it's one you gladly keep to yourself.

"Oh, he's stuck with me." You wave them off with a smug smirk on your face.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

[gay-dorito-dust]

Can I request headcanons for Vergil, and Dante react to his shy gn crush giving him a love letter before leaving quickly please?

dante

he's looking between the note and your retreating form with the confusion of a puppy at first before he realised what the note actually was.

he's reading the note IMMEDITELY and he's kicking his feet while he does so becuase who wouldn't if their crush gave them a love note? if they don't then dante knows their full of shit.

anyway- he's no stranger to people liking him, some even try to give him their number even, but his eyes were glued to you and he wasn't about to indulge someone else when his mind and heart was elsewhere.

so while he'd throw away their attempts of getting with him, he treasures yours by keeping it within the deep pockets of his coat, keeping it as a memento and refirmation that you reciprocated his feelings.

the man would be inable to stop smiling for a good week or so as he comes up with a plan to confess his feelings without cornering you like an frightened animal.

it's the last thing he wanted to do as he knew how cripiling your anxieties were to the point were social interactions or making calls to people you weren't aquainted with well enough might as well put you into a comatose state.

this man sucked at writing love notes, he's not his brother, not in the slightest.

so Dante would definetly figure something out by either asking you to join him for pizza or an strawberry sundae or just outright confess his feelings in person as he holds your hands to ground you from taking off like a scared rabbit.

he doesn't mind if you can't look in his eyes, he'd prefer if you did though but he's not going to force you to if it's too much for you to handle, he'll press his forhead to yours if it helps ground you even further and gain confidence to look him in the eyes, even if for a split second. he'll take whatever he can get.

he'd proabaly have the note framed in a moment of being playful, just so he could lightly tease just how your relationship started as he peppers you and your flustered cheeks in copious kisses.

he's just happy that his feelings weren't one sided, he'd even be a little flirty whenever you talked afterwards, such as throwing his arm ove your shoulder and pulling you into his side, winking at you from across the room or just standing closer to you then normal.

on the outside be confident and cracking flirty one liners, but on the inside he's happy and warm and content but most importantly relieved that his longtime dream was coming true.

who knows he'd probably give you a spontanious kiss or two (with consent of course)

Vergil

this man is intimidating despite his heavely good looks.

so giving him a love note might as well have ended you as you knew he would only hunt you down with his constant questions regarding the note.

he's so straightforward and blunt that it was enough to have you feeling flustered from your own actions, but this man was merely only curious as to why you'd give him a love note.

he's not trying to be intimidating at all, he just lacks social interaction despite how eloquently he speaks and commands the room. that's literally how he is.

he's harmless when inqurering of the meaning behin your words written down on paper.

that and he's still somewhat at odds with his own feelings towards you, given how he views his human side, but naturally he's a man who's intimidating when the occasion calls for it.

so this dude is holding the note with a gentleness he's never exhibited nor felt before as his eyes carefullyread your words at his own pace.

that and he's got a permanent resting bitch face. which doesn't do much to help him.

his words might be cold, sharp and lack a sence of warmth, but his actions were swift and gentle as though he was holding porcelain, glass, or any other fragile material that would easily fracture within his fingertips. this is how he treats your note as he finds content in knowing his feelings weren't missplaced.

he's content knowing his newly developed feelings were reciprocated and would most likely write a love letter back to you in response, the writer within him was itching to do so, as he felt he conveyed his emotions better through writing.

not that he wasn't confident in vocalising his feelings, he's just felt it more convient. the note itself would be long with long words that have beautiful meanings behind them, even citing the moments where he knew something had changed in descriptive detail.

from how you looked that day, to how you smiled, to how you averted your gaze from his but not in fear and instead out of the feeling that you had been staring at him for too long and needed to look elsewhere. he would remeber every single detail of those days and how he felt during them.

there probably would even be a time and place that he wanted to meet so that there would be no distractions between the two of you, no interferences as your relationship begins it's slow but steady start.

[local-human-disaster]

I'm thinking more about Annabelle's confrontation with Henry, because the way Luke (and AJ too) play it means so much to me. It's so realistically scary. So many details I adore in that short minute, because it says so much to me as a queer semi-woman:

Henry calls Annabelle "darlin'" straight off the bat. Of course darlin' is a common stereotypical southern term of endearment, but compounded with Henry's affection for Annabelle, and Annabelle's confused, "oh shit does he mean me" reaction, there's a sense I get that he's already verbally claiming her as his beloved. Without her consent. She's very much not endeared.

The very third thing Henry says is "give me your foot". With zero context. He brushes aside Annabelle's denial ("that's not mine"), and when she doesn't want to, he forces it on her.

Annabelle's reaction throughout this is constantly trying to diffuse the situation, downplaying her reactions. Forcing the shoe on her is already harassment, but she just says "I don't like this". She only pushes Henry's hands away as much as necessary so he wouldn't touch her in an act of very understandable panic, and then she puts her hands down like she's trying to calm them both down.

Because the reality is that historically, queer women face violence from cishet men, as both queer people and as women. Annabelle's reactions scream to me that she's aware that Henry, a man and a police officer, has so much social power over her, an eighteen-year-old young woman. It's not about being a bank robber or not (Henry clearly doesn't care either), or that she can shoot well; it's that she's a woman and he's a man, and the common sentiment was (and still is, in many circles) that women are men's belongings. Queer women aren't queer to those men, because queerness gets in the way of their "rightful" claim over women. Henry doesn't have to explain himself, because he feels entitled to have her even though she doesn't know who he is. He refuses to listen when she repeatedly says she's not interested out of entitlement and arrogance. He doesn't even consider that she might not be into men at all!! He forces the shoe on her, like putting shackles on her to claim her as his. He can be as violent as he wants, and she knows it'll be his word against hers if she makes a scene. So she tries not to.

Just. I really love that they didn't shy away from the realities of being queer women. So far most gay couples in sfth are in settings where being gay is accepted, like Ditch, like Bubbamiah. But Annabelle and Butch both don't get to be queer women (or non-men) in an ideal setting with zero homophobia and sexism, and those two intersect very nicely (and realistically) here.

[lanawinterscigarettes]

Can you write a joe goldberg x reader where they are out at a bar and the reader gets a lil too tipsy and flirty with another guy and joe gets all jealous and it ends with them dry humping and making out against a wall outside the bar??? I love your stuff ohmigod

omg yes absolutely! and thank you so much, you're so sweet <33

Jealousy, Jealousy (Joe Goldberg x gn reader)

Warnings: SMUT, Joe has jealousy issues lol, reader is a little tipsy but they're still sober enough to consent, dry humping, heavy making out (against a wall), slight exhibitionism, hickeys/biting/marking, brief degrading/Joe has a slight humiliation kink here, gender neutral reader so genitalia and the like aren't specified

Five minutes. Five minutes, that's all he'd been gone for, just to come back to see you hanging off the arm of some other man.

Seriously?

Joe scoffed as he glared at you from the corner, watching you place your hand on the mystery guy's chest and whisper something that he could only assume was needlessly provocative into said guy's ear.

That should be him that you were hanging off, him you were whispering in the ear of.

Scowling, he quickly made his way over, not even bothering to apologize to the few people he managed to bump into. "Hey," he greeted in a tense and strained voice, looking like he was about to crack a tooth from how hard he was clenching his jaw.

At first he thought that maybe it was a mistake. Maybe you were too drunk to realize that guy wasn't him, maybe you hadn't even noticed that he'd left, maybe you'd just so happened to cling onto the nearest tall, attractive person with dark hair under the assumption that he was your boyfriend.

Until you glanced over, and he saw the cheeky glint of mischief in your eyes and the shit-eating grin on your face. "Oh, baby, hey," you drawled out slow and lazily, your speech a little slurred from the alcohol that was currently pumping through your system. "Where have you been? I was looking all over for you. I was so worried."

If he'd been a cartoon, his face would've been bright red with anger and steam would've been seen coming out of his ears. "Don't 'hey, baby' me," he snapped while grabbing your arm, not hard enough to hurt you but certainly firm enough to where you couldn't wiggle away from him. "We're leaving, now."

"Aw, but I just made a new friend," you replied with a pronounced pout, giving him your best puppy dog eyes in hopes of winning him over.

But he was having none of it, refusing to even acknowledge the guy as he furiously dragged you away (the guy in question was fortunately smart enough to leave well alone and let you go without protest).

"I'm never taking you out again, do you hear me? Never again," he practically scolded, his long legs moving almost too fast for you to keep up with.

"But baby-" you loudly began your complaint before he grabbed you by the collar. You felt the breath get knocked out of you as he roughly pushed you up against the wall of a nearby alleyway outside the bar.

"Enough," he snapped harshly, his eyes full of pure envy as he glared at you. The sexual frustration he was fighting with was so strong you could practically feel it pressing against you. Or maybe that was just his hard-on in his jeans. "What have I told you about flirting with other guys, huh? What did I say?"

Huffing, you averted your gaze from him, well aware of the answer he was looking for. "Not to," you grumbled with a childish pout, not enjoying the way he was currently reprimanding you. "But it's not my fault you left me all alone in there."

"I had to use the bathroom," he hissed out through gritted teeth, his patience starting to run thin. "That doesn't give you the excuse to go cozy up to some other guy like I don't even exist."

"Aw, baby, you know I didn't mean to," you purred out in that sultry tone you always knew worked on him, one of your hands slipping down to fiddle with the hem of his pants as you spoke. "I just missed you, y'know? I was lonely and needed something to help me pass the time. I'd never actually cheat on you with someone else, you know that."

As much as he hated to admit it, the charm you were trying to win him over with was working. "Come on, don't try to seduce me when I'm mad," he muttered half-heartedly as your fingers slipped through the belt loops of his pants and used them to tug him in closer, his hips pressing flush against yours.

The corners of your lips curled upwards into a smug smirk when you realized your plan was working. "I missed you so much while you were gone," you continued in a pathetic sounding tone, your hands letting go of his pants so you could wrap your arms around his neck instead.

The growl he let out sounded heavenly, like music to your ears. He trapped you up against the wall of the alleyway while his hands moved to grab onto your hips. "Don't tease me," he warned in a low voice, but you simply snickered in response.

"Make me," you whispered back, and that was all it took for the floodgates to open up and all of his self-control to crumble as his lips met yours in a passionate embrace of teeth and tongue.

"You can be such a brat sometimes," he mumbled into your mouth, his tongue swiping across your bottom lip after. He could tell just from the look on your face how much you were enjoying yourself.

"Only with you." Those three little words caused his grip on you to tighten as he jolted his hips into yours, relishing at the sudden feeling of friction between you.

There was no possible way for his cock to get any harder, but somehow it did. "Say- say that again," he demanded in a soft and breathy voice as he leaned his forehead against yours. "Say that you're only like this with me, that you only do this stuff for me."

You knew exactly what he wanted, of course. He wanted validation, he needed it, even. It was something he was so helplessly desperate for. He needed you to reassure him that there would be no other guys, not now or ever, that he was the only one. And with the pitiful way he was staring at you, how could you ever refuse?

"Only for you, Joe. You know I only have eyes for you, babe," you murmured before grabbing the collar of his coat and tugging his lips back to yours in another passionate kiss, one that was even more intense than the last.

He couldn't help but start to grind against you, acting like a dog in heat with the way he was dry humping you right up against the wall of some random alleyway where anyone could look down and see you. At that point, he didn't care who saw. He just knew that he needed you, and he intended on having you, one way or the other.

You, on the other hand, were delighted and even giddy at his eagerness. Normally you'd be a bit more hesitant to have your boyfriend get so handsy with you in a semi-public place, but the alcohol running through your veins gave you just enough of the liquid courage needed in order to successfully banish those fears away and replace them entirely with the overwhelming experience of lust you always had for him whenever he became possessive like that.

The whimpers and pants that exited his mouth uncontrollably were just the cherry on top, the previous look of rage at having another guy touch you being completely overtaken by his primal urge to take you and make you his. You let out a noise that was a cross between a moan and a sigh when you felt his lips meet your neck, biting and sucking at the area in an attempt to mark you, to claim you as his and his alone.

The pace of his hips was unrelenting as he kept you pinned to the wall, the feeling of his boner rubbing against you through the fabric of your pants making you just as crazy as he was. "God, you're such a fucking slut for me, Joe," you commented mindlessly as your fingers curled through his hair, directing his mouth to a lower spot on your neck in the process.

Your words didn't seem to upset him, and if anything only happened to turn him on even more. He buried his face further into your neck while gripping onto your hips so tightly you were certain he'd leave marks behind, his movements in tandem with yours as you'd started to thrust upwards in an attempt to match his speed.

When he finally came, he bit his lip so hard he almost drew blood, trying his best to muffle the humiliating sounds that were doing their best to creep out and escape from him. You finished soon after, your body tensing up and going limp from the amount of energy you had drained from you.

"Second round at home?" You questioned once you were able to catch your breath, to which he merely letting out a short laugh and pulled your body closer to his.

"As long as you promise to never flirt with another guy again," he bargained in turn, just as exhausted as you were even if he was also itching for more.

He was so naive for thinking that would be the one and only time you'd ever purposely flirt with somebody else. With the kind of reaction you'd managed to gain from him, this was only the beginning. It was decided: you'd have to make him jealous more often.

End notes: I love writing smutty joe fics omg

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[lsunstreakerl]

1.3k follow up to this omegaverse snippit. back with more maxiel/not maxiel. mature content here, references to heats and ruts. dubious consent in the typical unintentional mating and heat/rut scenario.

Blood under his teeth, sweet scent snapping in his mouth, whimpering omega underneath him-

Daniel jolts awake, heart pounding. He feels sick, the way he normally does when he remembers flashes of that night. He was in rut, so they're only coming through in his dreams, leaving him feeling nauseous when he wakes up.

He's lying in their nest. Max clearly wasn't familiar with building one, and it had taken some encouragement from Daniel for him to start building it at all.

The blankets are a tangled mess as Daniel works on freeing himself, stepping carefully out of the nest. Max makes a soft noise, rolling into the warm spot left behind, head snuggling down into the pillow.

Daniel finds himself in the bathroom, leaned over the sink with his hands gripping the countertop, knuckles white.

He looks like shit. There's bags under his eyes, skin paler than he's been in years as he fumbles for the drawer, pulling out another blister pack.

He's making himself sick, taking so many emergency blockers, but-

He can't. Not Max, not when it isn't something either of them wanted in the first place, and if he goes into rut there's nothing he wouldn't tear through to get to his mate.

Beyond his slip when Max had first run into his hotel room, Daniel's been taking emergency blockers Red Bull supplied, but he's running out.

He just needs to keep it together long enough for them to get out of the country, for Max to go back to Monaco so Daniel can ride out his rut in Australia alone.

He dry swallows two pills at once, trying to ignore how tight his skin feels, the ache deep in his bones. Max is on emergency blockers as well, but he's used to taking such a high dose- it isn't tearing him apart the way it is Daniel.

Daniel takes a few more minutes, making his way back into the bedroom when he hears a soft whine, pulling him back to the nest.

Max's eyes are blinking open, searching for Daniel. He visibly relaxes when Daniel comes back in, crawling back into the nest as Max gingerly curls into him, head resting on his chest.

Daniel can't look at anything except the teeth marks on his neck, arranged perfectly around his scent gland. They're still bright red, bruising across Max's skin, scent gland puffy.

It's a good bite.

It wasn't Daniel's to make.

------

"What? No, mate, I need to be alone for my rut, I'm not-"

Christian's face does something complicated, hand landing on Daniel's shoulder.

"Daniel, you're both mated. You can't split your heats or ruts, it'll only hurt both of you. Stretching a fresh mating bond from Monaco to Australia is not a good idea, you'll break it."

Daniel runs a hand through his hair, sighing.

"Maybe he wants that, Christian. This was a freak situation, there's no way any of this would've happened if it hadn't been a last ditch thing."

Christian bites at his lip, conflicted. The whole team is- none of them are sure what to do or how to feel. The truth of it is that Max is safer with an alpha, a clear claim on his neck. He won't have to be scared racing in certain countries, he'll have certain protections, and Daniel's a high profile alpha. Messing with Max would mean messing with him, and there's not many people willing to do that

The truth of it is also that Max is eight years his junior, has explicitly addressed in the past that he's not going to get a bite just to satisfy regulations, and that Daniel had bitten him without asking, sent him into a heat without asking, knotted him without asking-

There's a permanent ball of nausea in his stomach, the idea that he might have been Max's first.

He hopes he wasn't.

He thinks he was.

Christian gives Daniel a sympathetic look, and he knows he's not winning this fight.

"Dan... it doesn't matter anymore. What matters is that it's happened, and as your team principal, my focus is on making sure both of you are as good as you can be. A mated alpha going through rut alone? You'll be a hormonal mess by the time the break ends."

"I'll be a hormonal mess either way."

"Maybe, but if you're together then you won't be tripping over yourselves to meet back up when you finally see each other again. And I'm not comfortable sending him back to Monaco, alone, freshly bitten."

Daniel groans, tugging at his hair. He doesn't want this, but he does, and it's doing his fucking head in. Max deserves better.

Daniel wants him in his sheets anyways, where he belongs, because he's Daniel's omega now, and there's teeth marks in him to prove it, and he needs to take another blocker-

"He's going to Australia with you, Dan. We'll reach out closer to the end of break to discuss details, okay?"

Fuck.

"Yeah, I hear you."

------

"Alpha-"

His mate is crying underneath him as Daniel licks a hot stripe up his neck, writhing on his knot, skin littered with nips and bite marks. Daniel fits his teeth over his scent glad, sucking as his omega convulses around him, smelling like heat and want.

He noses at the side of his face, kissing away salty tears. His mate is so sweet, young and needy for Daniel.

There's finger shaped bruises forming on his waist, and Daniel dips his head down to nip at his chest, just to listen to the breathy gasps and whimpers he gets in response.

The nest is a mess, and Daniel couldn't care less- it's a heady mixture of them both, making his head spin as he coaxes his mate higher again, spiraling up into pleasure with Daniel's fingers and tongue, falling apart with pretty little cries as he tries to take Daniel deeper.

Daniel's not sure why he ever denied himself this, velvet heat around his knot, music in his ears as he rides out his rut, working his omega through his heat at the same time. It's perfect.

------

Daniel wakes up slowly, nose wrinkling at the thick scent of heat and rut, slick and cum overwhelming in the nest. Max is asleep still, back pressed against Daniel's chest.

Daniel tugs the blanket up over him as he gets out of the nest, refusing to look. He doesn't want to know.

He's been told he's a possessive bastard in his ruts, and he can only imagine it was worse with Max, his-

His mate.

Daniel barely makes it to the bathroom in time to throw up, bile in his throat and nausea in his gut. He doesn't want to see Max, can't bear to know what he's done to his innocent younger teammate, how he might have treated him during his rut.

He can feel the bond between them, solid now that they've really cemented it. It's not how he thought it would be- all he really gets is the vague sense that Max is physically okay and close by. It's a bit like having a compass inside of him, tuned to Max.

Daniel showers, washing any kind of evidence away. There's thin red lines running down his back, scores of nail marks between his shoulders, and Max has left little bites across his shoulders and arms.

He pulls fresh clothes on, trying not to breathe through his nose as he slips in and out of the bedroom, padding into the kitchen.

His laptop boots up easily, and he sends an email to Christian that his rut is over, before he clicks to another email chain, one that's been sitting heavy in his heart for months.

Daniel drops his head onto the counter. He should, for his career and his future, but-

Max. Omega Max, mate Max, emotionally fragile Max that wouldn't take it any way but personally. This is bigger than just his career or Max's career, this is potentially their lives.

It is their lives.

He groans, long and frustrated. Types up an email to Cyril.

Rejects the offer.

[luceafarul-de-dimineata]

Due to my obsession with the devils from abbadon (Phenix is underrated). I DEMAND (kindly ask) you to hand over all your headcannons about them.

Since you're asking so politely, I shall give it to you

Abaddon headcanon (Tw: Abaddon)

Since Abaddon is THE sex dangeon of all of Hell, and you can see public sex everywhere, I think that the people in Abaddon don't have the concept of consent. Everyone already wants to fuck and doing it in public with strangers is just the norm, so if any Abaddon nobles got a boner they'll just get undressed and fuck you right then and there

If we want to get really dark, we could even say that cries for "stop" and "no" are just taken as dirty talk. You can't tell me someone in Abaddon isn't into cnc.

Asmodeus likes seing his subjects fuck so he invites his nobles over and uses his powers to get them to rail eachother for his entertainment. Who needs porn when you can just make two of your people fuck for you?

Weirdly enough, Abaddon demons are actually very interested in romance. Their king was the only one that had a wife and kids, so they can do more than just fuck

Even someone like Phenix can be quite romantic when Asmodeus is asleep or something.

When Paradise Lost first became the ER of hell, it was filled with Abaddon demons because a) they're neighbouring countries b) they try very dangerous stuff for sexual pleasure and it usually fails

Abaddon was the first to lose healthcare priveledges and that's why Asmodeus and Lucifer don't talk with eachother.

Now they only have Marbas as the countries doctor

Marbas used to be just a normal demon before he was assigned to Abaddon. Since he was exposed to more of Asmodeus' charm, he started acting more violent and horny, so Lucifer had to tie him up

Asmodeus' charm is kind of like nuclear energy, where, the longer you're exposed to it the worse the symptoms get. And then you end up like Phenix.

The noble with the most one night stands to his name is Ronové. You can randomly ask a devil what their experience with Ronové was like and they'll have a story about it

Asmodeus used to take Ronové to meetings with him as an assistent, but he kept talking about how beautiful amputated feet are so Asmodeus gags him now.

Masturbating is a form of prayer towards Asmodeus.

Asmodeus is autistic and his special interest is sex. He's also a strong believer in learning by doing

Phenix was Asmodeus' caretaker when Asmo was little and that's why he's the most affected by his charms.

Asmodeus is the only demon in Abaddon that you can have a conversation with that doesn't involve sex. He'll still flirt tho

Abaddon demons can heal by having sex, which is how Dantalian got his kink

He got really badly wounded and was about to die before Phenix fucked him and his wounds closed off enough that he could walk himself to Paradise Lost

In that sense, Abaddon demons are healers but only to other Abaddon demons

Abaddon is the top honey moon destination in Hell.

The country they're closest to is Avisos because they have similar views on sex.

Asmodeus is the only demon king that can go to the human world at will without any complications. Even Satan gets shit for leaving for half an hour, but Asmodeus could be gone for days and nobody would complain.

He's closest with Belphegor but only by proxy. They're not friends, but they don't hate eachother so that's a plus in his book

None of the other kings really like him because when Asmodeus wants something, he would do anything to get it. And I trully mean anything. Nobody trusts this charming little back stabber.

Asmodeus has a statue of his former lover in the royal garden. If anyone tried to touch it he would brake all the bones in their body. He sometimes just stares at it and laments her death

He wouldn't even let the decendent of Solomon touch it. That's his wife and you can go find another.

He still has the makeshift wedding ring on his finger and he plays with it when he's bored. When Dantalian was little he stole it to try and get in danger with Asmodeus, but he almost shat his pants when he saw the absolutely terrifing glare Asmo had on.

When there's no battles to be had, Phenix goes to Asmodeus's chambers and humps his leg like a bitch in heat. Asmo sometimes picks him up on his lap and jerks him off while he works.

He'd be on a phone call like "Don't worry about the screams, my dog's in heat."

All electronics in Abaddon are waterproof... or more specificly, cum proof.

Ok wow, fuck this was longer than expected and I still have some. Abaddon is my second favorite country and we'll see if it because the first by Christmas.

[thequeenofuselessinformation]

So basically the entire character list of The ballad of songbirds and snakes is the exes from hell

1. Coriolanus Snow

-Mansplain Manipulate Manwhore

-Great hair and fashion sense

-Love bombs you

-Old money

-His (grand)mom hates you because her son can do no wrong so clearly you're the problem

-His favourite hobby is emotional and mental abuse

-Snitches on you when cheating at family board game night (he's deflecting that he's also cheating)

-Emotionally stagnant (narcissist with mommy and daddy issues)

2. Sejanus Plinth

-Loves you to bits, so does his mom (your waistline will never truly recover)

-Indecisive about where to grab dinner always

-New money and it shows in his insecurity

-Supportive asf

-Breaks up with you because he can't be with a non pacifist/vegan

-Daddy issues

-Condemns Shein hauls

-Identity crisis every other week, you'll have to talk him out of a buzz cut, jumping off the ledge or giving all his money to scammers (if you collect all the stamps you'll get a financial compensation from his dad on the wedding day)

3. Lucy Gray Baird

-Her Ex is a dick, will stalk and harass you

-Her family is a bunch of hippies, will make you eat with your hands, on the floor, while singing Kumbaya

-Sings you to sleep, braids your hair

-Almost poisoned you thrice cause she doesn't understand you shouldn't mix cleaning products together

-Old soul

-Thrifts, recycles

-Puts salt in your coffee after arguments

-Ghosts you after your make or break argument

4. Casca Highbottom

-Never asks about your day, his is always worse

-Drug addict in denial

-Weird beef with his old classmate's son (he never lets anything go)

-Dislikes people, which would be fine if you weren't included

-Always on some sardonic shit, probably a business major with a psych minor

-His pills take all the space in the shared bathroom, your makeup will be shoved in the far lowest drawer next to the TP

-His ancient ass coworkers hit on you at symposiums, he's too high off bathroom cocaine to stop them (or gets off, either way you're tired and want home)

5. Dr Gaul

-Devil Incarnate

-You somehow rizzed her up at a function and she's been showing up at your house ever since (you don't how but she has both the address and a key)

-Petting zoo type of owner

-She always smells like chemicals and latex

-Asks you unhinged "Would you rather" questions and refuses to drop it (makes your Would you love me if i were a worm ex cute by a long shot)

-Will perform experiments on you without your knowledge or consent

-Insists her pet snake shares your bed

-Freak in the streets and the sheets (the restraining order won't even go through cause she's in cahoots with half the Government)

-Definitely wanted for war crimes somewhere, the G in Geneva convention stands for Gaul

6. Lucky Flickerman

-A clown.

-His hair and skincare products take over the entire bathroom/vanity

-He can't dress to save his life, but he sure thinks he can

-Golden retriever boyfriend energy

-Steals your concealer, refuses to admit it

-Would you like to see a magic trick? What do you mean this is a serious fight, there's a quarter up your nose

-Impulsive buyer, has 13 snow globes of panem because they were on sale and looked shiny

-Even his pet thinks he's a dumbass

-Cries during movies

7. Tigris

-Yes she do the cooking, yes she do the cleaning

-Insecure about her appearance (critical, will cost you)

-Her family is a bunch of snobs

-Anything she touches turns into gold

-Her cousin can do no wrong, you have to accommodate everything for him or she'll die (and he never even visits, "just in case")

-Her grandmother is a package deal, I hope you like boomer propaganda and info commercials early on Sunday morning

-Empathetic asf

-Puts everyone's needs above hers (and unfortunately yours)

[trans-queen-administrator]

Taylor being paranoid about her passenger is such a fun character trait. Like none of her friends really seemed to give much of a shit when they learned about passengers from Bonesaw, but Taylor consistently notes the times her passenger acted without her consent, she tries to talk with it, communicate with it, just anything to learn what this thing that can control her without her say wants with her. One of my favorite little details is that during the timeskip this was the focus of a lot of her therapy sessions with Yamada, trying methods like hypnosis to communicate. I think part of it is that she's inherently just paranoid about the fact that this thing is helping her sometimes and she doesn't know why and she HAS to figure it out because no one would help out of the kindness of their heart, and another part is just that she can't bear to not be in control and this is something that threatens that in a very ominous way.

Another aspect of her paranoia towards her passenger is that she doesn't want to take blame for her own actions I think. During the Behemoth fight when her ally tried to shoot Phil Sē, she pulled the gun off target with silk and got him killed. She's the one who pulled the string, but because she's genuinely unsure if it was her being wary or her passenger setting up the string she settles on the second option because it absolves her of the possible blame or need to admit she's paranoid and ready to betray people in an instance. When Glenn shows her the video of her being the most terrifying fucker in existence she ignores how horrifying she is and fixated on how her passenger moved her, and then she doesn't have to think about the fact that she'd fit right into the ranks of the Slaughterhouse Nine because well, she can blame her passenger and focus on that instead. This applies to other people too, she sees Lung not using his power and thinks that maybe he's concerned about his passenger like she is. She projects hard onto Sophia in my opinion when she says that she got violent because of her passenger. If this person she doesn't like isn't to blame for everything she inflicted on Taylor, the surely Taylor can't be blamed for the violent steps she took to take over a city. It's another way she rationalizes everything to herself, if something is so bad that she can't justify it immediately there's always the excuse of "my passenger made me do it." But crucially, Taylor ends up being aware of the fact that she's doing this during Gold Morning.

And I think it's really good that this is something she grows and accepts about herself. It's wonderful growth for a character who's so often too stubborn to move herself forward. She's generally more in touch with her passenger during Gold Morning, like the time when she thinks that her and her passenger were in agreement in wanting to hurt Scion on the oil rig. No one else in Worm really seems to accept their passengers, Riley is questioning how much of herself has been subsumed by it, Eidolon is always annoyed it doesn't give what he wants, and most other people don't even know about them. But Taylor forms a bit of a symbiosis with hers after a long time rejecting it at every turn. I think this quote really sums up her feelings towards the end.

And by towards the end I mean like, at the very end, because immediately after this thought she becomes Khepri, and yet another fucking theme and character trait cumulates and reaches its peak with Speck. God damn what a good arc. The blur between Taylor and her passenger that she always feared is finally an actual thing consuming her, and she can finally communicate with her passenger as well. I do wonder what this is like on her passengers end. It's clearly down for the idea of killing its maker, and it's heavily implied that her passenger does care and doesn't want to actually leave Taylor as a husk (too lazy to get the quote because I've been typing for 45 minutes but Contessa remarks upon the administrator claiming everything about her until there's nothing left and she feels fear that she thinks is from both her and her passenger. 30.7 I think, near the end). But there's still so much about Taylor's passenger that's unknown. Was communication something it may have wanted when Taylor kept trying to communicate, but doing so required punching holes in the connection that would lead to more bleed through and functionally destroy its host? Did it slowly grow to care for Taylor more than the cycle, or was it always wanting to fight Scion? Did Taylor's autistic swag convince a multidimensional alien made of crystal to rebel? Is Queen Administrator trans? Idk how to end this post if it's not obvious, sorry.

[ranticore]

Can u do some nsfw factoids of the Inver 3 on the other blog? I'm too shy to ask off anon and I love those three men (ps does Islin have top or bottom surgery?)

haha yeah i can

first off to answer your ps: no (doesn't need it) and no (doesn't need it). interpret those as u will but it's probably not what you expect. my man is a witch after all.

anyway factoids

bowman:

^ this is not the pic i wanted to find but i couldn't find the six (and a half! SIX AND A HALF INCHES!) meme which i guess i never saved but anyway that's for Bowman. he is a strict top, tends to be selfish unless specifically asked not to be. he's one of those guys who's like shockingly vanilla when you actually get to know him better, body count in the hundreds probably but he's also like My Biggest Fantasy Is.... Having Sex ;) and if you suggest like blindfolds or something he's immediately wowed and excited at how hardcore and freaky it is. he doesn't cuddle. he might have a slight thing for intox stemming from how he thinks alcohol turns him gay and has led to some very formative hookups in the past.

islin:

he is a side (not into penetration) and unsurprisingly repressed. because of well. everything. he has a lot of no-contact or weirdly obscure desires which kind of dip into dubious consent (as in - enacting an elaborate kink scenario on someone without their prior knowledge. oh god what a pity you got tangled up in all those ropes i left lying around!!) because he is 1. strictly dominant, an absolute control freak and 2. unable to express what he actually wants to other people so the thought of asking first is a turn-off because it requires dispensing of shame and he can't do that (yet...). it's a great combination. this man should not be having sex unless it's with bowman (who has the power to make people normal by proximity) or a freak who completely enjoys the idea of being fumbled by an inexperienced self-conscious dom and idk where we'd find anyone like that.

félix:

^ once again couldn't find the pic i wanted so this will do. félix is verse, he likes three things more than anything in the world 1. women with huge knockers, 2. pits, and 3. being fumbled by an inexperienced self-conscious dom. now i know what you're thinking this guy is 100% a brat right? wrong. he's the exact opposite. obviously he loves his elaborate roleplay scenarios and his acting is so good that it can be a turnoff sometimes (he can look a bit TOO shocked and frightened). it also means he can be convincingly naive and ignorant about whatever freak shit islin is trying to do to him in the background. oh noo i tripped and fell in these ropes i sure hope nobody takes advantage of me in this compromising position ha ha. i SAID,

anyway they're made for each other but probably not for anyone else.

bonus Jean-Baptiste:

once it became a "known" secret that he was gay he used to get approached & propositioned at social gatherings by every old sad closet case in existence. he gives absolutely atrocious head and gets bored and distracted way too quickly.

[scoobydoodean]

Picking up from discussions of Cas's ramblings as more coherent than they seem in 7.21, in 7.23, Cas comes back (after saying he was just going to go explore the world basically). He is upset, because he realized he couldn't hear his garrison, and when he went to find them, he realized the leviathan had killed them. Hester (the new leader of Cas's garrison) and Dean had both pressed Cas in 7.21 for abandoning his responsibility to help clean up the situation he created. Now Cas's entire garrison (the garrison that felt abandoned by him) is gone because of the creatures Cas unleashed. Of course Cas sees this as his fault, and now he's scared that he'll not just lose his heavenly family, but his earthly family too. So he needs to go to Sam and Dean.

He finds Meg who was "laying low halfway across the world" and flies her back to the US (back to Sam and Dean) without her consent. I think his choice to force Meg to come back and reconnect with the Winchesters is interesting. I think it's in part a signal that he's moving closer to taking on some of the responsibility of dealing with the leviathan, but he uses Meg as a comfort or a buffer. Maybe the idea is that she can serve as his stand in in the battle? Because he still doesn't want to fight, but he wants Sam, Dean, and Meg to know that the leviathan killed his garrison and they have Kevin, which means they know what the Winchesters are up to and what weapon they have and are going to be ready for them. After explaining as best he can, Cas says:

CASTIEL They took him [Kevin]. He's alive. I felt such responsibility, but it's in your hands now.

So he felt it was his responsibility to warn them and reach out. His Garrison was responsible for Kevin's safety, and since they're all gone, he needs to see to Kevin's safety. Now that he's told the Winchesters and Meg though, his idea is that they can deal with it. More shifting of responsibility. They can save Kevin, they can avenge the Garrison, and they can save the world from the leviathan on their own. Cas knows this isn't okay though. It doesn't make him feel better. He still feels guilty for his "no conflict" rule, so he makes Sam and Dean sandwiches, and he ropes Meg in (who has far less of an obligation to participate in this battle than Cas does) to act as muscle to replace him. Meg is pissed that Cas brought her back here, and Dean is pissed that Cas is still refusing to fully own his responsibility and is instead foisting it on him and Sam and Meg. Cas knows he should be doing more, but isn't ready to involve himself in the fight more, because he's scared he'll just ruin everything again.

CASTIEL I can't help. You understand? I can't. I destroyed... everything, and I will destroy everything again. Can we please just leave it at that?

Dean is no stranger to how paralyzing guilt can be (see: 7.04), but he's also no stranger to being burdened with responsibilities by people with more power/authority than he possesses, who want Dean to solve the world's problems for them. John did that to Dean. Gabriel did that to Dean. Death did that to Dean. Now Cas is also doing that to Dean. He wants Dean the human to solve the problems that Cas the immortal seraph created. These burdens have made Dean suicidal during this entire season. That is not a secret—it's made quite explicit in 7.01 and 7.09 that Dean is completely overwhelmed by the apocalyptic burdens he is perpetually demanded to shoulder (that he is not powerful enough to shoulder) to the point of wanting to die. And when he told Bobby that, and when he told Eliot Ness that, and when he told Frank that, the messages given directly to him were to nut up and stow his shit. So because Dean is both royally and rightfully pissed, and because Dean has been repeatedly told no one gives a shit that he is broken,

Dean says:

DEAN No. No, we can't [leave it at that]. We can't leave it. You let these friggin' things in. So you don't get to make a sandwich. You don't get a damned cat. Nobody cares that you're broken, Cas. Clean up your mess!

[cocogum]

The Great Wave - Chapter 11 Review

‼️SPOILERS FOR THE CHAPTER‼️

And we're back!! Yay!!

It felt like a year since I've done these but I'm so happy we get to see what happened after that ANNOYING ASS cliffhanger.

And omg after reading this, I genuinely had so many more questions!!

So without further ado, LET'S DO THIS SHIT

We go back to where we've been before, aka seeing these three goobers choking up from that damn blueberry.

I'd like to point out that this is one of the rarest times where we get to see colored blood in the manga. I get that we've seen them bleed before, but the red popping up like that really made me miss it 🥰🥰

😀😀

Hotass masochist is at it again-

Anyways, Grougalorasalar brings Yugo and Adamai in their memories 💕without their consent💕 and...he actually never saw the Inglorium damn.

Daddy Grougalorasalar already has beef with these two morons so just imagine how he must be feeling from the fact that not only did they cause a lot of problems (without meaning to) in the world, but they also got to visit the gods' realm before him.

This guy might have lived far longer than these two and even he didn't see this place before them....

But what actually makes me confused here is that bro not only hates Yugo but is actually curious about what kinda shit he's gonna do next.

Like yeah he hates Yugo for doing shit he didn't mean to but at the same time he's waiting for him to do more shit cuz he's curious. Does...does Grougalorasalar like to cause trouble to people and to himself??

Omg...he's such a slut for pain i can't-

Yugo....sweetie...no 💕

A huge part of me knew he was still going to act recklessly and charge at Grougalorasalar without thinking. But on the other hand, a small part of me mindlessly hoped that he'd be more aware of the situation he was in. But at least it just goes to show that Yugo never lost his tendency to charge at the enemy ever since season 1.

Fun fact, in french, Yugo is yelling at him because he doesn't understand why Grougalorasalar would cause problems to "good people". I love how we still get to see his kid side resurfacing from time to time because that was the most stupidest thing a grown man could say.

YES!! THANK YOU!! THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT WE WANT TO KNOW!!

You have no idea how annoyed I felt when we got no answers as to why the other gods weren't present in Inglorium. I understood that it was because Tot wanted to explain their disappearances in Waven but I was still very into this mystery cuz it puts the eliatrope goddess in a bad light.

So to hear Grougalorasalar mention Inglorium's crumbled state makes me really happy to see cuz we get to at least dig on that topic.

OOOFFFFF‼️‼️‼️

NO YUGO HE'S GOT A POINT YOUR MOTHER WAS SO SUS ‼️‼️‼️

This is what I mean when I say that his mom needs to be held accountable, there's something seriously suspicious about someone who gives off weird vibes when they're supposed to be known as the goddess of LOVE AND CREATION.

I did not even think that Grougalorasalar knew about the state of the gods' realm, but it just goes to show that primordial dragons are aware of the world's situations and what goes beyond it.

But what shocked me the most in this chapter was that not only did Grougalorasalar know about the Inglorium being in shambles, BUT HE ALSO KNOWS WHO YUGO AND ADAMAI'S FATHER IS AND THAT THE GODDESS APPARENTLY INTERACTED WITH HIM BEFORE SEEING YUGO AND THE OTHERS.

There is a lot to unpack here just by reading these three panels.

First, Grougalorasalar confirmed to us that it was the Eliatrope goddess' fault that the other gods are not here. Back when someone asked her what had happened to the other gods, she simply dodged the question.

Second, Grougalorasalar claims that when the goddess got saved by Nora and Efrim, she went straight to her lover and freed him to take revenge on the other gods. This means that the goddess can, in fact, express feelings not related to pure emotions like love and compassion. She's like everyone else and does have faults of her own. This also proves us that this lover of hers is a very dangerous one. He's such a threat, in fact, that he was able to completely destroy the Inglorium and leave no traces as to where the other gods may have gone. We also got to know that her lover was angry. He may have been furious because the goddess had been imprisoned just like him. Why was he imprisoned? We don't know.

And third, Adamai doesn't know who their father is. It may seem very random that I'm mentioning him but it does make sense. Adamai had been taught and raised by Grougaloragran so he must've known who their father was. But judging by how Adamai seemed just as eager to know like Yugo, he never got to know who he is which means Grougaloragran, back in his prime, didn't know either.

But there are two people in Season 4 who must've known and those were Qilby and Nora.

The reason why Qilby knows is pretty obvious: he cannot forget a single thing from his millions of lives. So he must've known at some point who his father was.

And the reason why Nora knows is because she was assisting the goddess. Right after she saved her and had no choice but to leave Efrim behind to the necromes, she accompanied the goddess to free her father and then went with her to get the elite eliatropes.

If Qilby and Nora had still been alive, they would've explained everything to Yugo and Adamai, but we know that Tot loves to not reveal anything to these two 💀💀

Now for those who are not aware or haven't heard, Yugo and Adamai's father is not the Great Dragon apparently.

In an interview with Tot, he claimed that their father wasn't the Great Dragon and that the answer would be revealed soon.

So....take that as what you will.

Personally, it doesn't make any sense that he couldn't be the father because not only have we been told time and time again that the Great Dragon and the Goddess made the primordial eliatropes together, but we've also been told that he was also the one who created the krosmoz with her.

Now yes, he did take part in making the krosmoz it's just that Tot retconned the fact that he was the father of the primordial eliatropes.

It would've made much more sense if the Great Dragon was the father because it would explain why he had been imprisoned by the other gods for being too deadly.

But who knows, maybe Tot does have a good answer to all of this, and we've just never seen him before because he's a new character that had been hidden in the shadows all this time.

And speaking of Tot....

Remember when he said that Armand's name was supposed to be spelled with the letter 't' at the end?

Well...

THE CHAPTER LITERALLY ADDRESSES ARMAND WITH THE LETTER 'D' LIKE IT ALWAYS HAS BEEN ‼️‼️

You mean to tell me that this guy got so fed up with everyone from 'butchering' Armand's name when the seasons, the credits, the ovas, the mangas, and even the artbooks CALL HIM WITH A D.

Come on Tot just admit that you personally like to call him that cuz his name reminds you of a relative of yours. Because you make no sense when the show and the books have called him the exact opposite. Cuz if you keep doing that, we're just gonna break our heads and seriously wonder if we should trust your words over the canon source material that we've grown up with.

But anyways ✨️✨️

Not only did this chapter reveal that the goddess is sus, that we learned what happened when she got freed, that we know that Yugo and Adamai's father is not the Great Dragon, and that Tot makes his own headcanons, but we also got to see another character's name make a reveal in this chapter.

Why is Harebourg's name mentioned and why did Grougalorasalar tell them not to have messed with him. 😀😀😀

Look....

If his name being mentioned is because he's the official antagonist of Season 5, then I will die screaming from the top of a hill.

If not, then idk why Grougalorasalar chose to mention him out of all the antagonists that we got lol

But this does make sense! In a video posted by Ankama animations on YouTube, they mentioned that the antagonist for the season will be a new antagonist but someone that we already know. @geekgirles made sure to screenshot the exact moment where an employee had mentioned the antagonist of the fifth season here.

I actually really wish that Harebourg had recently been a problem for Yugo and Amalia because it would make 100% sense as to why Grougalorasalar even mentioned him in the first place.

It makes so much sense in fact THAT I MADE AN ENTIRE THEORY AS TO WHY IT'S PLAUSIBLE THAT HE'S STILL ALIVE HERE.

[let-roman-bite-someone]

oh also, i see a lot of patton hate because "he's mean to logan" when i never saw this kind of sentiment when logan (and roman) was being dismissive of patton and even outright insulting him in s1 and even in recent episodes.

now i love and relate to logan as much as anyone else, but let’s not kid ourselves and pretend like he's perfect and hasn't been a pompous asshole. he has apologized or tried to make an effort to make it up to patton a couple times, but he still ends up insulting patton and not taking him seriously. apologies don't mean shit if you keep repeating the same mistake.

so there’s not much progress there but i guess people are fine with it because it’s easier to ignore a character who has been insensitive from the beginning than it is to accept that a kind and easygoing character can have some flaws and aren’t always perfect. people just excuse logan's actions with "he doesn't understand emotions uwu".

if you’re going to judge patton for talking over logan or revealing his name without his consent (which btw logan didn’t even seem to care about, he never seemed to give that much importance to his name, since he is logic either way) you’re gonna have to judge the other sides whenever they’re being mean as well.

criticizing or disliking a character is fine, i’m not gonna tell you how to feel about a character. but it’s the double standards that really pisses me off.