#but tbh im not the best at actually enjoying the process of making things like this

[phaoi]

we are complimenting your phrats on twitter

https://x.com/misterdanisnot/status/1836646781452435674?t=7Sf5DA1wJsUjsue1Tez_Xg&s=19

hii, yes I’ve seen it <3 I got jumpscared by it earlier today when I opened twitter and the screenshot of my post was the first thing I saw on the tl haha 😭

[thatdeadaquarius]

sagau with the language barrier issue except... the creator is sick and tired of trying to ask for things so they do everything themself.

and it gives their followers mass anxiety bc they can't even ask what you're doing... bc they know they won't understand anything...

SUCH A GENIUS NARVI 10/10 GOOD WORK SORRY IM SUPER LATE BUT THIS IS *chefs kiss*

Like, that's literally how I feel like I first played Genshin LMAO

Also this has a cont. Part 2 at the bottom bc tumblr fucking hates me UPDATE I FIXED IT THANK FUCK

Paimon was like "and then we go to Mondstadt- ! NO, not Wolvendom, to Mondstadt! NOT THE THOUSAND WIND TEMPLE WITH ENEMIES OUT OF UR LEAGUE, ENTER MONDSTADT FOR THE FIRST TIME BEFORE U EXPLORE THE REST OF THE MAP!! >:("

SO MANY IDEAS YET SO LITTLE WRITING SKILL GUYS HELP-

Also warning this is ROUGH in terms of spelling and editing and im so sorry abt that! I have my art show today so you're welcome to come back if you want to see it a little more readable tomorrow lmao

Edit Update 4/6/23:

Revised and fixed all the bad spelling and grammar (hopefully) so make sure to give another read if you havent read the cleaned up version lol

I dont have a beta reader so its just me trying my best ok-

Everything was like kinda chaos tbh at first

WOW- MY FIRST 1,000+ NOTES POST??!?! U GUYS, WHAT ARE R YOU DOIN??!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!! IM GLAD U GUYS ENJOYED IT SM!! Also look out for more encoded stuff in the future since i mentioned wanting to continue stuff like this + ARG stuff :) <3

Edit 9/7/23: 2,000+ NOTES?? THANK YOU???

Like u wake up under the Irminsul, and u think ur hallucinating a goddamn gacha game for like a solid 5 minutes, or ur lucid dreaming, 

but once u actually took what felt like hours to process that u might actually be in fucking Genshin Impact-

Nahida came running from, somewhere?? Its kinda just very floaty dreamy in here so, unclear, she’s beaming with a giddy little smile (💘)

It’s… so much more than what her game model could manage.

I mean, you knew that, of course you did, but- to see the tiny goddess smiling in person, her cute chubby arms waving in the air, her cheeks all plump with baby fat from her excited smile, pretty green eyes that sparkle only in the way excited toddlers do-

It was just…wow. 🥺

You can’t help it, her sheer carefree excitement, exactly like a child but you know that she must be really overwhelmed with joy if shes letting herself act like that so blatantly, you feel ur muscles tug gently into a smile, you try to muffle it but ur happiness leaks out anyway

She's panting as she stumbles on short chubby legs to reach you.

After just staring at you with those big green clover eyes for a few seconds, she physically shakes her head to knock herself out of it,

Nahida places her hand over her heart, and bows elegantly, going back to looking at you with a small but bright smile, her voice is kind of quiet, muffled in a soft way, much like her game depiction,

“Hzozn! R'ev yvvm dzrgrmt gl nvvg blf! R wrwm'g gsrmp blf dlfow wvhxvmw fmgro R dzh zg ovzhg z uvd gslfhzmw bvzih low!” *

…Nahida begins to look a little concerned… her eyes get impossibly bigger.

…Oh no.

♧

Nahida had apparently quickly spread the news that you can’t understand them, but luckily it seems like all the characters still know you!

Alhaitham is pretty much a constant by your side, you knew he was vaguely studying linguistics in the akademiya… but that knowledge still didn’t prepare you to be intensely stared at with his diamond pupils for hours. 💀

Then he’d tap your shoulder or something, and you quickly picked up that he wanted you to just try and say something.

Then he would scribble for hours.

Turns out they can understand you about as much as you understand Teyvat language (s? You can’t even tell if there are multiple languages, that’s how unrecognizable this language is, damn)

The more extroverted or friendly people, like Venti, Yoimiya, Kazuha, Jean, Noelle, Amber, Xingqiu, Hu Tao, Zhongli, Ganyu, Barbara, Beidou, Collei, Ayaka, Gorou, Nilou

At least attempt to talk to you, and try very hard to watch what you gesture with your hands or body language

They're pretty much ready to play charades at all times for you lol

Interestingly enough, they only ever understood you when you typed in the chat (with other ppl)

But even then not immediately, 

Sumeru scholars basically had to make a whole new department (regardless of how much you play with others) to decipher your ancient language (to them) like those old clay tablets with cuneiform we’re still translating?

Like that, your words appear in elemental magic heavy places (so like that abyss lang. It’ll appear on walls or structures, so like Andrius’ stone colosseum? in Wolvendom gained some of your chat replies inscribed and glowing a rainbow of colors on the top edges of the walls)

Much like the abyss language you see throughout genshin, most Teyvat scholars (across nations/internationally) agreed your language is the oldest form of language known!

It’s like modern languages having roots in older ones, like English with Latin, greek, or German roots, or Sanskrit and the Prakrit for Hindi language today

…so of course no one really speaks the root languages anymore, because they’re so old, so those ancestors who spoke those languages would have little to no understanding of their modern counterparts…

◇

Occasionally if you turned your mic on for whatever reason there would be a gentle whisper on the winds in Mondstadt of your voice,

or your laugh in the waves washing ashore in Inazuma and Fontaine,

your startled noises or screams from battling bosses mixed with the landslides in the mountains of Liyue

So they know what you sound like, but that doesn’t mean they understood your language :/

Nahida had been hoping that you’re actual physical form being here would help improve the language barrier

But unfortunately, those things remained the same, but at least you were physically here to talk to now and give more content for the scholars to study rather than them having to make do with your snippets of language from chats

…so needless to say, it took you a long time to realize they viewed you as a god of sorts.

You kind of knew something was up when at least two allogenes were by your sides at all times, or eremites would replace them if they really couldn’t stick around

You figured they knew you weren’t nearly as combatant-ready as they were at all times, hell you obviously didn’t have a vision hanging off you somewhere, and you only really had a knife strapped to a belt, courtesy of the Thirty Corps

You are still kind of convinced that the people of Teyvat, or Sumeru at least, are just pretty polite (and in the allogenes case, very kind or friendly, even people like Alhaitham or Cyno, resting bitch faces they have, seem to soften a little when they’re walking around with you… maybe you’re just imagining it…)

And as much as you would love to wait until they understand you to do something more fun, as you can see the frustration on Tighnari’s face (and his ears try to flatten back hehe) as he looked like he was debating heatedly with some of the Sumeru sages who insist you stay in the city

…so why not go?

It’s not like they’re going to get it anytime soon, and it’s still too frustrating for yourself to charade things or draw things for them because you can’t even hear their guesses 💀

You can totally handle being like the traveler too, 

You still have access to your inventory afterall! Plus, lucky for you, you still find a pass for the Serenitea Pot in your little pocket dimension!

So now you have somewhere to sleep at night, and while most of your stuff went to the traveler’s pack, the things like Primogems

(which.. Okay now you really want primogems bc theyre so pretty and shiny irl)✨️

And other high-level things, or just objects of no use for the traveler (so basically all your hoarded level up stuff and infinite amount of weapons lol) came along with you

So you did have to wander the first week or so around the city and even commission the Adventurer’s Guild to grab you food supplies to cook with

Filling up, along with a few big waterskins, you’re off!

...and everyone collectively has a heart attack!

◇

When you show up in Ghandaraville essentially all “✨️💖☺️✨️” on Tighnari’s doorstep-

He chokes on the tea he’d been sipping on before he opened the door lol

He looks a little frazzled so you try to just gesture with “calm yourself small animal” energy with your hands

“Tivzgvhg Oliw! R'n- R- sld wrw blf-?! Mvevinrmw, xlnv rm, xlnv rm, ivhg! ...R mvvw gl hvmw z nroorlm ovggvih mld gl ylgs gsv vmgriv xrgb lu Hfnvif, gsv Zxgrmt Tizmw Hztv, zmw gsv Nzgiz nlhg orpvob…” he began out looking at you and talking and gesturing to his small dining table (the game sucks, his house looks great and has lots of cool rooms filled with interesting plants… oooo…so pretty...) 

But then he kinda just devolved into rambling, no need to understand, you can read the vibes and just know that's what he's doing lol

Collei eventually ducks in, and she looks a little panicked?

She’s quickly followed by Cyno, pushing past her to call out into the house,

His voice seems hard and stressed, looking at Tighnari, “Grtsmzir, szev blf hvvm gsv Tivzgvhg Oliw zmbdsviv, gsvb dviv hvvm xlnrmt gl Tszmwziezeroov ozhg-” 

Cyno stops and blinks.

Collei’s mouth is slightly dropped open, she also just, blinks.

You blink. 

Tighnari blinks tiredly, he looks like he’d rather be done for the day, you think.

The doctor sighs, and moves his head to nod towards the other dining seats.

◇

Sumeru foods are so much better looking in real life, and they’re so good too, your practically bloated by the end of dinner, 

As a thank you, bc u cant say it obv, you just gesture for Tighnari to stay sitting, and he gives you a raised eyebrow and a suspicious ear twitch

But stays still, and you reach out to finally hit the eight-pointed star hovering over his, and all playable characters chests at all times.

Like you suspected, it brings up a holographic character menu, but rather than his full model, it kind of hovers in front of Tighnari’s face, replacing his old 3D model self with framing the real thing for a portrait just in front of his face

The poor Denro user nearly jumps a foot out of his chair as he looks in shock at your screen, you do the same “chillll boy” gesture with your hands and press his shoulders for a second to remind him to not run off or panic

Cyno and Collei had done the dishes and put up leftovers, and are now standing behind Tighnari, watching with equally wide eyes,

“...Dszg ziv gsvb wlrmt gl blf?

Cyno’s voice is even deeper and quieter than usual, you feel goosebumps run up your spine

“Ziv blf tvggrmt yovhhvw, Nzhgvi Grtsmzir?!” Collei’s sweet voice is also hushed like she’s witnessing something sacred, Tighnari gently shakes his head negatively in response, his shoulders shrugging,

“Nzbyv? R uvvo... z orggov hgilmtvi, zmw nb Erhrlm rh zxgrmt fk zh dvoo…”

Though he’s replying, Tighnari’s eyes haven’t once left your ancient magic? technology device? hovering in front of him,

and as he crosses his arms and squints to try and look closer at everything floating in front of him, you can see the childlike gleam of awe in his green eyes, (so cute) in fact, now that you glance up and look, both Collei and Cyno have the same quietly excited and fascinated sparkle in their eyes too

With a displeased sneer, you chuck his old level one bow into the material grinding spots, hope he wasn’t attached to that…

Oh well, he’ll like the new one better, afterall, with no characters, all your best weapons and artifacts are ready to use!

With a small smile of reassurance, you finally finish gearing Tighnari up, tap a miniature version of that 8-point star in the corner like an “X” button, and it retreats like a classic TV set📺 turning off into his chest, he startles but then carefully stands

You decide to just start making decisions bc its worked out so far ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

And grab his hand and haul him out into the forest, Collei letting out a surprised squeak, her and Cyno hurrying after

You reach the nearest clearing, and gesture at Tighnari like a bow and arrow firing, he gets it, and your glad he already trusts you, because he doesn’t take long to summon his bow

He takes aim at a smaller tree about two cars length away

You can feel them all holding their breathe, as Tighnari charges it with Dendro, the arrowhead glowing, (it looks so cool and badass irl god you feel envious even tho ur already here-)

The ranger lets it fly, it streaks neon green, whistling through the air, it hits the tree-

and it fucking explodes.

Vines and leaves and the trees roots all rapidly swell like theyre filled with water, like it literally got hit by a superhero with plant powers, which, not that far off actually.

The green floating Dendro seeds make a ring around the tree its so full of elemental energy-

You give a wild grin, you still got it, hell yeah. >:)

Your grin widens as you look over at Tighnari, Collei, and Cyno

Cyno has a smirk lighting up his face, eyes eager, Collei’s jaw has dropped and she’s just frozen staring as the tree finally settles from the burst of the dendro powered arrow

…Tighnari has lowered his bow, and his mouth is only slightly open, his ears perked straight up into the air, shaking with excitement? Happiness? Interest? You don’t know how peopl-animal-hybrid ears work,

and you STILL cant talk to any of them to ask what they thought, so looks will have to do >:/

Tighnari is the first to move, his head snapping over to look at you, the brightest, kinda feral tbh, smile taking over his face-

“Blf pmld, dv xzm'g fmwvihgzmw blf, zmw blf fh, bvg R xzm'g dzrg gl hvv dszg rm gsv dliow blf'iv tlrmt gl wl mvcg. Blf'iv znzarmt."

… and you just 🙂? Cool!

And give a thumbs up👍LMAO

☆

Bonus:

Alhaitham was literally running around Sumeru City trying to find you when you left, tho you did try and leave a translatable-in-3-to-5-business days-note, he didn’t have time to translate that because you were gone.

Or worse, lost in the city, and he would never forgive himself if he lost you, esp as Acting Grand Sage-

Kaveh got a letter a day and a half later from Tighnari letting them know you were having a sleepover in Ghandarvaville lol

Kaveh also had to hunt down Alhaitham to give him said news, then force his roommate to go sit or lay down for the rest of the day to recover lmao

(Haitham honestly kinda freaked Kaveh out bc he’s never seen him that... desperate, it was like seeing a statue emote lol)

♡

ARE YOU KIDDING WE ALMOST HIT LIMIT AGAIN?!

Bro has anyone else had this problem???

I literally had to switch from PC to mobile and copy and paste it there to get all my shit in and tumblr not throw a hissy fit???!!!

FUCKING TUMBLR- SUCK MY BIG FAT- 👹👹 UGH

ANYWAYYYY SO I FINALLY CAVED 

And started doing ciphers for when you dont get teyvat’s language! I meant to do something fun like this for awhile but I wasn’t sure if that would be kind of annoying, but if you’re interested in learning what they actually say (which the whole point of this is that dw it doesnt rlly matter lol) here’s a hint:

*hint = Atbash

:> good luck!

Wish me luck on my art exhibition today!! Then I’ll be homefreeeee 😭

Safe Travels,

💀♒

♡ the beloveds ♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist

[utilitycaster]

the imogen and ashton of c3e78 is soooo juicy like everything you said about imogen looking into ashton’s thoughts is so real but also in the group she is the only one who can do that. she’s the only one who can see directly what they feel and think and the fact that it mollifies her rage but almost seems to heighten her frustration? ashton and imogen have my fav dynamic in c3 bc of their understanding of pain and how they reflect each other’s selfishness (if that makes sense) and im so excited to see how (if?) this moment becomes anything More

Hey anon, I'm glad you liked their conversation and presumably my analysis, but I have to admit there's a lot in here either I don't follow, or which I can't say I agree with:

FCG can also look into Ashton's mind and chooses not to (slash, might not have the spell slots left for it due to the healing), instead talking through it - and in doing so they jump to some incorrect conclusions, but also I think have a very important conversation and eventually do come to a deeper understanding, and I still think it would be good for Imogen to talk instead of jump to Detect Thoughts.

With that said, I think she is justified given how extreme the situation was, and it's not terribly surprising that looking into Ashton's mind affects Imogen this way! As others have discussed, Imogen tends to judge people based on thoughts rather than actions (eg: reading people's thoughts alone and judging their overall morality from that moment rather than how they behave). I think part of what made this incident different is because she actually processed the combination of intent and action, rather than only intent. I think the fact that it wasn't pure self-aggrandizement and that their thought patterns of trying to connect with absent parents did both mollify her but also frustrate her, because she felt the same thing and she brought it to the party, who told her in no uncertain terms that the Vanguard sucked. She can intimately understand how they feel and also be furious at what they did as a result.

It was a great conversation between them, and I really enjoy whenever Imogen and Ashton interact, and longer RP moments between members of Bells Hells can sometimes be hard to find, but I have to be honest: I've found the fandom's perception of Imogen and Ashton's friendship and the basis of their shared experiences of pain to be vastly overblown. Notably, I found it was often really overstated before episode 70, when they had their great conversation after their time at All-Minds-Burn, because that was their first real talk that wasn't a group chat or Imogen (consensually) probing his memories, so while it's less baseless now, until a few months ago a lot of people acted like they had talked when they really hadn't. (This is true for several Bells Hells friendships tbh).

I also think that the physical drawbacks of Imogen's abilities are similarly vastly overblown; "Migraine Buddies" or what have you is almost pure fanon. Imogen has had like three canon headaches, and one of them was pretty directly tied to the events of the solstice. People just really latched onto her initial characterization and stopped paying attention. That doesn't mean it's not a consideration for her, or at least that it was before she got the circlet! But because she so rarely used the ability that triggered them I understand her best as someone who used to have a chronic condition who had it well-controlled, though with some effort, prior to the campaign, and now has since had a radical new treatment that effectively removes the need for effort. It's still obviously a factor for her; but Imogen's abilities always felt rather more like severe sensory processing issues, or a migraine disorder but one where she could relatively easily avoid triggers vs. Ashton's chronic pain.

I think some of why this fanon arose is because people wanted to project onto Imogen based on those one or two early mentions of headaches, before Ashton's disability was confirmed, and it never really got addressed and so they assumed similarities and kinship between Imogen and Ashton on a basis that was heavily projected. I agree that they have a lot in common - a cynical worldview and low expectations of others; a combination of lack of self-regard that wraps around into self-absorption (the ugly truth of self-loathing is that it is also self-centered and can still hurt others even while also hurting one's self); the above parallels between their parents. I agree that I'd love to see them interact more (thought I'm not sure if by "More" you mean an actual friendship or what) - I think the post-solstice onset arc has really allowed Laura to do what she does best for Imogen now that she's not constantly in the spotlight, and the remaining gap is that her interpersonal relationships with many party members are somewhat lacking - but it's hard to call it my favorite dynamic when it's only just being developed. And for what it's worth, going back to the first point, I think a lot of similar parallels can be found between Ashton and FCG, who do have a more developed dynamic.

[unclassedguy]

Jjk 261 leaks ahead:

Alright I was going to post about this in the morning but I got distracted and needed time to process everything anyways.

I don't usually share my thoughts on the new chapters publicly but I will make an exception now 😔.

Yap incoming

ok, so there were a lot of theories floating around before 261 about if we would actually be getting a gojo comeback or not. Honestly, some people pointed out why gojo reviving might not be the best decision for the story, but I was placing bets on it anyways because I too was pretty bummed by his end and also because my naive self chose to believe it was the most likely choice for gege to make.

However I did try to keep my hopes reasonable, choosing to belive that it could just be a hallucination.

Truthfully, I didn't think it would be Kenjaku. I'd seen the theory that it could be them but I honestly doubted gege would do that. Yet in the depths of my copium filled soul I had always been holding onto the hope that kenjaku would somehow return to the story. When I tell you my secret little stash of cope was as potent as some gojo fans im telling the truth 😭.

I honestly hoped maybe it would be kenjaku, just maybe. This morning I sought out the leaks and you know what I saw? This:

I was DYING. For a second I thought gege had really done, I was in disbelief, I was in shock, I briefly wondered if this was a joke.

AND THEN I WAS SO HAPPY. I was like: Yes! Answers! Yuji-kenjaku interactions! An unexpected twist in the fight! Forget the logistics of how kenjaku ended up in Gojo's body, I was going to trust gege's cooking and enjoy the chapter before taking a step back and critiquing anything.

And then I read that it wasn't kenjaku. It was Yuta using kenjaku's ct.

I didn't want to belive it could be Yuta. Of all the outcome I thought it CANNOT be Yuta. Not possibly. BUT IT WAS. IT WAS YUTA.

I have felt emotional when consuming media before, and sometimes underwhelmed or critical when something didn't rub me the right way, but I'd never understood people who act so utterly devastated by an author's decisions.

I UNDERSTAND NOW.

I've been mourning all day man 😭. My gojo cope, my kenjaku cope, all of it down the drain just like that AND ALL AT ONCE. I genuinely am not sure what about this chapter gas prompted such emotion in me. Am I lobotomized after all? I choose to belive its the sheer shock of this chapters events.

Tbh, I read the rest of the chapter in a bit of a daze and I'd have to go back and look over it again to share any actual thoughts or analysis, but I will says some other things stood out at me about it.

first of all, I don't hate Yuta. He's not my favorite character but I don't hate him and I wish the best to you yuta fans, however yall are feeling. his line about how the others are so worried about becoming monsters, unknowing that they've forced that role onto gojo all this time hit pretty hard for me. And now Yuta is taking on the same role since gojo's gone. He's strong and is not just taking Gojo's body but in a way taking on his position as the 'monster' of the jujutsu world, even if only for the dubious amount of time he had left.

Also the way sukuna just, punches yuji aside 😭. Nahh. The disrespect. He rlly just sees yuta in gojo's body and tosses yuji away. Rlly hope my boy beats him up next chapter and it doesn't become a yuta-one-man-show.

Overall I'm dying, I'm crying, I'm gritting my teeth, I miss kenjaku, I miss gojo, rip yuta 😭

(Please gege give me my wife back. Even just a kenjaku flashback is enough. Gege pls.)

[yeyinde]

I found your COD works on ao3 and there is quite literally NOTHING else that makes me ascend higher than your writing AAAAHHH your prose is incredibly seamless and blends so beautifully together that i find myself on the ground afterwards because EXCUSE ME?? They didn't tell us you could do that with words?? (youre the reason im researching a game ive never played before in my life at 3 am) how you are real

Anyway!!! I dont know if this was already asked, but i wanted to know about your writing process and how you got to where you are now

Thank you for always giving us your best work!! 🩷🩷🩷

it's only Thursday and here i am. just bawling my eyes out. this is incredibly sweet, and you are being way too nice to me, honestly!!! 😭 thank you so much!! and i'm so glad you've been enjoying what i write so far 🖤

i did my best to actually answer this in a way that was somewhat coherent but it's really hard to type through the tears.

i don't have much of a writing process, tbh! i mostly just shape things around a concept or a scene i want to write about, or one that i kinda picture in my head. the rest is mostly just filler to get us there.

i think i spend the most time on words—the placement, the meaning, the sound, and the way it looks/flows with everything else. i'm very particular about the ones i pick. i know a lot of it might seem like regurgitating a thesaurus (which it def is, tbh!!!), but i really love etymology. everything has a purpose. even though a lot of what i write is just gratuitous smut lmao

i also really love scripts. i don't write multiple drafts. what i end up posting is usually the first draft with minimal editing (because i am egregiously lazy and also hate re-reading my own work), but as i write, i like to make the outlines for scenes in the same style as a script. i think it gives me more flexibility to really dig down into what i want from a particular moment by framing it like a beat from a movie or play. it might not be for everyone, but it helps me focus on what i need to do—especially with dialogue.

as for how i got to where i am now: i definitely got much more confident in my particular style, which i think is obvious if you read my earlier stuff to now. i was very worried about how i came across in writing (like using rare words, dabbling in wordplay, going on very obscure tangents and making strange metaphors), but i'm a lot more willing to experiment with things than i was before. i also don't take myself seriously at all. everything i do is for the fun of it, so i've never felt pressured to stay within a certain genre or style. i just do what i want, mostly!

[dollarstoreartsupplies]

Hi!!! Sorry I know you reblogged that DVD fic commentary post like literally last year HOWEVER I have been going insane over your Cinderella!pete fic and (not)imaginary friend tinkly and was hoping you would like to share your thoughts? It’s fine if you don’t I just really love all of your npmd fics!

Hi Hi Hi @sanguineed!!! Sorry this took so long I have SO many thoughts and honestly i apologize if this is NOTHING i truly just infodumped about thought process for like a million words and have no clue if it's anything or even coherent hgkjdflkll

(Cinderella Pete fic link)

(Imaginary Friend fic link)

OKAY SO starting with Cinderella pete:

I’m honestly obsessed with Cinderella aus they’re my one weakness because I’m a big hurt/comfort and fairy tale loser and they are DEEP in that hurt-comfort-fairy-tale sauce, but they’re also a very fun blank slate that you can do SO MUCH WITH

So, honestly, from the second I watched NPMD and the characters burrowed their way deeply into my beautiful mind I had a really bare bones ‘day-dream-a-fic-in-my-brain’ lautski cinderella au that was nothing and I never planned on writing it and then one of the Lautski Week prompts was fairy tale and I rewatched season one of once upon a time (unrelated to the prompt list, i do that like once a year) it very rapidly because A Much More Detailed thing

I didn’t want to just do a normal step-family plot line because then that gets very weird and complicated having to really hone in on the non-existent spankoffski parents and I wanted Ted to be involved, so i just, honestly, fully yoinked Erica from princess and the pauper’s backstory and went ‘okay that works’

AND THEN back to once upon a time (in case y’all aren’t fellow ouat-heads): so in that show rumplestiltskin canonically murders cinderella’s fairy godmother and becomes her new fairy godmother (just, like, much more sinisterly) and that concept is so horrific and fascinating that it has been rotating in my brain since I was nine years old and resurfaced just in time as I was starting this fic

Because I honestly wasn’t sure if I was going to have a traditional fairy godmother at first? I was just going to have his friends help him, and then I was like OH! Miss Holloway! Of course! And then tinky slowly rose into view in the middle distance and unfortunately there was NOTHING i could do but make him the fairy godmother stand in (which, thank god, tbh idk if I would have been able to write a substantial enough plot without him there to make things Bad)

It just all worked out SO well in a way I really wasn’t expecting because Steph is a REALLY fun prince(ss) charming! Because she’s Not! Good! At! It! But thats almost entirely because she’s Not! Trying! To! Be!

It’s just very fun to show the contrast between both steph and pete having been born into their roles/titles, and how it affects them/they react to it. Steph’s got way more expectations, and her role is technically more ‘important’ but she resents a lot of the really awful parts and isn’t being supported in the way she should be so of course she’s not the best at it! And on the flip side pete is WAY overqualified for what he has to do and he KNOWS that but there's literally nothing he can do to fix it,,,,, and,,,, they’re gonna kiss,..,.,..

Ughghghh theres so much more about this fic id love to talk about but honestly all the really fun stuff is still coming so I may have to come back to this post so i dont spoil! I do have to say: pete’s about to have such a bad time and then eventually SUCH a good time!

AND THEN YES NON-IMAGINARY FRIEND TINKY!!!! MY BELOVED!!!

I’m honestly so thrilled I was actually able to pull that one into a real fic, because it was just such a fun concept that bonked around in my head for like a week and I was convinced it was gonna stay there. But it didn’t! And you all seem to enjoy it so im very glad!!

Honestly that one stems ENTIRELY from the line in the nmt Yellow Jacket where Lex says she used to be able to see Webby (i thinkkkkkk someone also made a tumblr post about the same thing that wormed it’s way into my brain but i have NOT been able to find it so if someone knows the one Im talking about plssss let me know) and i started to think about the lords in black potentially pulling a webby on their own chosen?

Because Tinky is obsessed with ted, we know this, but theres a HUGE age gap between pete and ted and i think it would be very fun for a tinky to look down at one time line’s ted, whose already eighteen-ish and at best would think he was losing his mind, and try to get to him through his not-yet-born brother,,,,, like it’s so upsetting,,,,, very fun though

I also just REALLY love writing the spankoffski brothers (i’ve got two older siblings, one of whom is significantly older than me, and sibling dynamics are some of my favorites to write) and it was really fun to explore them at the Peak of their age gap. Ted is such an interesting character; he loves his little brother but he’s also an asshole and pretty self-centered so he’s doing a lot right (answering pete’s questions, not caring what Pete wears, trying his best not to swear or upset him) but he isn’t Built for child care so he’s also ignoring pete for his tv show and prone to snap when something that (admittedly is so incredibly fucked up) upsets him gets brought up. 

He’s a guy who works best in extreme situations; he’s the best at being a brother when he’s thrown into action (getting pete out of the road/forcing his parents to get pete help), but he’s not exactly a Bad brother other times,,,, he’s just a dude,,,, just a guy,,,, 

I also kind of wanted to make it unclear if pete Does have low blood sugar episodes or if thats tinky all on his own, because i think playing with the Power Of Belief is a really fun thing in stories like this (can you…. tell i ran essentially an It fandom blog for like three years ghfksl)

So, to break the Pete-tinky belief timeline down (prob unnecessarily but i think it’s fun):

Pete was born and tinky has ALWAYS been there, Pete does not think this is at all weird and also has always known tinky so it would be like suddenly deciding your mom isn’t real– you wouldn’t do it, it wouldn’t even cross your mind

He’s a kid, so everyone humors him and assumes it’s an imaginary friend thing (and his parents are older and old fashioned so even if it sometimes tilted a little farther from conceivable little kid with an imaginary friend territory they’d never EVER assume or mention that it could be something a little more serious/an actual problem)

Any time his voices doubts about people thinking tinky was imaginary tinky 'very logically' explains it as pete just being special, so the only one who can see him, and, once again, he’s always seen and known tinky was there so this makes way more sense then him just NOT BEING REAL

He does something really dangerous, TED specifically forces everyone to actually figure it out, and the only conceivable thing a doctor can find is pete is diabetic, specifically prone to low blood sugar episodes, which can cause hallucinations

Pete is a Very Logical kid, and suddenly a seed of doubt has actually been planted with reasoning

Tinky knows this and Does Not Like it but as it keeps going and he keeps getting more upset and everyone keeps making a plan to deal with pete’s diabetes he’s started to get more and more convinced that tinky might not actually be real

Once he’s more convinced than he isn’t that tinky is a hallucination tinky starts to lose his hold, and once pete starts taking low blood sugar precautions he either creates a block so tinky can ONLY show up to him when his blood sugar is low OR tinky personally fucks with his blood sugar so he can be seen (like a fucked up version of lex with webby- it’s just a far more logic and fact based way of growing out of it/not being allowed to fully see him)

As he grows up he forgets just how convinced he had been that tinky was real and just generally gets used to this weird little quirk of his low blood sugar/fully dreads it

THEN pete goes into the old waylon place and because it’s the main alter for the LIB tinky regains ALL his power and then some over pete/the physical world of the house while inside

That’s where the fic gets to, and honestly probably where it’ll stay, but if i was to write more i think it would sort of waver in the opposite direction time line wise, where pete holds onto the belief that tinky isn’t real for a littttle longer than he probably should, even after he kills max and eventually as doubt really creeps in tinky starts showing up more

THEN OKAY SO the one scene I really wanted to write but couldn’t fit it in so I blended parts of it up into the end of the current fic was a little precursor summoning?

So, obviously theres the real summoning, which is SO fun in this au and I’m still praying one day I’ll get enough ideas/spoons to write it, and idk where this would fit in the show timeline, maybe where if I loved you kind of fits or right before it, but essentially:

Pete comes clean to steph, in a way that fits with all the weird supernatural fuckery going on but not fully, honestly (so she doesn’t know the full extent until post-summoning), and the two of them make a plan (that steph DOES NOT LIKE) where he’ll, like, chug some coffee and purposefully trigger a low blood sugar episode so he can see tinky and ask him questions

If i had ended up writing it that would have been when he really realizes that tinky is a real thing; he probably would have pushed it a little too hard until steph gets nervous and kind of forces him swallow a glucose tablet and he snaps out of it (and tinky goes away, but just to fuck with pete and build the tension, not because he has to now)

I hadn’t been totally able to figure out how it would work out in a timeline (Which is why it never got written) but my plan was potentially to have solomon not be the one to show them the book, but instead tinky gives pete the directions, OR, if Solomon does show it to them, pete knows uncomfortably intrinsically how to do the ritual and is almost falling exactly in step with steph’s dad to find the book and on what to do

BUT YES!! Them!!! I know this was a way more general summary kind of overview, so if there were any specific scenes or characters or anything you were interested in lmk! I would love to get into it! Thank you so so much!! There's literally NEVER a time limit on any ask prompt things i reblog im always thrilled to answer! <3<3<3

[fordtato]

your jersey boy fic might be the best representation of internalized homophobia that i have read. And not just that, it represents so many things, the way it talks about the war, family, everything is spot on. im serious, this might be one of my favourite fics, no scratch that, favorite works of literature i have read? omg? finished the latest chapter and ever since then its just been spinning in my head and it wont stop. the scene where the girls approach ford and fidds after the thing genuinely got me thinking about the implications and motivations of such a stunt, ALSO later while reading i realized why ford also got a bit stunned by it, at first i thought it was weird for ford to think about it (i mean, the guy is not much of a self aware king ngl) but not fidds. it would make more sense for it to be the other way around, no? BUT THEN reading later chapters, and reading what fords mother said to him, it made SO MUCH SENSE. OF COURSE IT WOULD SHAKE HIM A BIT, ITS ALMOST THE EXACT THING HIS MONTH SAID. and maybe that is obvious and not something i should be blown away by (there are other parts of the fic i could ramble about for hours) but that bit always stuck out to me. its not something you see in a average fan fic and it just shows how good it actually is. i love the way you write, perfectly captures that messy though process. im sorry if this makes no sense im trying to keep it vague for anyone still reading. anyway yeah. love love love the writing

oh my god. i am so happy you love my fic and that you picked up on those lil things and that you enjoy it and that you went ahead and wrote this comment and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Just. What a nice ask. Thank you.

Progress on the next ch has been slow, like, i am doing so much these days, and have multiple jobs tbh, so thank you for your patience

[crowkip]

hi there!! i came across your art recently and love how you simplify forms for your style!! Do you have any tips on what you did to learn art and develop your current style? Did you take figure drawing lessons or just hyperfixate on an anime?? Any materials/exercises that were particularly helpful for learning how to draw humans? Thanks for your time!

thank u so much!!! i do have some handy info but im gonna put it under the cut so it doesnt clog up ppl's feeds bc it's gonna get a little long, hope this helps out!! ꉂ(ˊᗜˋ*)

ok so!! my top tip is to try out some life drawing classes! you'll often be expected to capture a full body gesture in 5-15 minutes which really helps you learn break the body down into its simplest forms since you wont have time to work on all the details. i only ever did a few sessions since they were part of a design course i was taking but even that alone definitely helped me streamline my process when it comes to planning out poses and making sure things arent looking too stiff

as for developing a style i honestly dont have a super clear answer bc i still find that i feel like my art is vERY very inconsistent, but even with that being said i do still have a few things that've helped personally!! easiest place to start is finding the tools you enjoy working with, for me i have a handful of brushes in csp that i tend to default to which helps form a little bit of consistency across my drawings (ofc dont be scared to branch out!! it's just handy to know what brushes work best for you). the other thing that's influenced my style is reading lots of comics and spending a lot of time looking at other artists' sketches, if you see a specific feature you like in their work try giving it a go yourself!! i remember noticing the contrast of soft and hard shadows in old oil paintings a few years ago n thinking 'ooh ive gotta try that' and ive been using it on my own art ever since. in the end your own style is greatly just a reflection of little things you've loved seeing in other peoples art and once you combine all those you end up with smth uniquely yours which i just think is awesome tbh

and as for shows n stuff that got me drawing, i dont have the coolest answer but as a kid i got super into drawing my friends as my little pony characters lmao i would spend every minute between classes drawing these stupid little rainbow horses and it actually really got me into picking out colour palettes and helped me build up that muscle memory which was what led into me drawing things that were a little more challenging. even if whatever motivates you to draw is considered kind childish or 'cringy' or whatever, dont stop drawing what you enjoy!! i wouldnt be drawing now without the years of pony doodles on homework as a kid and im glad i embraced it. i hope this can be helpful to you, so sorry for the long read but thanks for getting through it all!! good luck as dont be scared to dm me if you ever have any questions, i'll always do my best to help out :D

[diodellet]

*slides in*

How about 3, 16, 17 and 29 for the fic writer asks?

omg i didnt think id ramble this much (thank u for enabling me ner 🤧💕💕)

3. how you feel about your current WIP

tbh i'm not super confident about my writing any time i come out from from a long long hiatus of not posting anything. also like… i'm not super confident writing other charas aside from jamil since i don't really think ab them as much… (sorry leona-natics* whenever this drabble gets posted, but like fingers crossed the sitch will hopefully be exciting enough)

*i think it might have to do with the fact that i kinda hc leona on the grayspec++have more vv specific hc characterizations i like of him, but ig i do see his appeal (one of m'oomfs is a leona-natic and well ahu her propaganda might've been subconsciously assimilated)

but ahaha i tend to write things that i'm very personally interested in so i'll find a way to have fun with it, i'll be gucci i just get too into my head, it's a vicious cycle as a writer.

16. favorite place to write

uhhh im a very sedentary person, probably a result from the pandemic, and being a thorough homebody even after that

hmm i would say id like a nice ambient public place with coffeeeee my blood my life force Some amount of people engrossed in their own work, but like in the ph, esp in a place populated by a lot of uni students, cafes end up being hella cold (im skin and bones the cold is Evil)++noisy (which i don't see as a big bad thing esp since i like socializing with my friends...at the cost of putting off my own writing oops HAHAHA)

17. talk about your writing and editing process

oh boy. here we go. one thing to note throughout all this: my only consistent practice as a writer is inconsistency. (and ig, if i try hard enough, i can usually put out a passable 200-300 words in one sitting)

sometimes i can outline a fic and take forever chipping away at it

^^(case in point: that sebek x vampire!reader x silver fic... i joked abt waiting until book 7 would drop on EN but it has been Stuck. i wanna write bi-disaster sebek so bad though 🤧🤧)

other times my actual writing veers waaaaay into a diff plotpoint instead of what i have plotted out

^^(there're these 2 now-removed bullet points in wcidfy's outline for ch 3 that went: "do i have the balls to write a fever scene… gaguhan anhirap nito pag walang ob [tl: fuck this is hard (to write) without overblots]" and "i also keep thinking of a scene in the (scarabia) gardens…and lying about bees…weird")

and sometimes i can just shit out 1k-ish words unprompted.

^^though this last example leads to my most rough writing++editing ('ily but leave me tf alone' and 'no id rather pretend'), i only look over for immediate errors, but keep iffy-phrasings and repeated words, but sometimes i still miss incomplete sentences that i jus quickly fix after posting ahahaha.

in terms of my more "polished" writing, i edit as i write (<- i do Not recommend this style. it's very unsustainable if ur planning to do more conventional writing/publishing and it's very easy to get trapped in your writer's block)

and after finishing 80% of it, i try to get a second pair of eyes on it (thanks @jessamine-rose mwaps) because validation of works in progress feels good it also helps to have a trusted outside person look at the work with fresher eyes. also smtimes we get into bouncing ideas back nd forth that we spawn new brainrot lmao like this👇

i like to call my writing a "semi-polished first draft" partly out of self-defense and self-criticism. but really, i think i'd rather have "good enough" writing posted than "my best" because i could spend forever hoarding my wips. i think i'll always have regrets over not fleshing out certain beats/using certain phrasings and references, but i also enjoy looking back on my writing and seeing the incremental, microscopic progress. it makes the process more enjoyable than self-flagellating.

on a personal note, the writing workshop scene can be brutal. with some criticism being needlessly harsh, sure it produced some of my "best" writing but the process was Not Fun. while i get that being able to revise meaningfully is an important thing, i think the endgoal of feedback (from my short exp of betaing for friends) shud always be aimed towards uplifting the writer's aim to create/improving the writer's vision of what they wanna achieve, especially in a craft that is as solitary as writing. wait ill rb a post about making ur shitty pots, very in-line with making art in general

29. how easy is it for you to come up with titles?

very hard. i hate thinking of titles, thats why i yoink lines from songs (who cares if the vibe doesnt fit im adding layers of interpretation or sumn🥴🥴). ACTUALLY wcidfy had like 3 other possible names (it was either *rolls out list* hairtie, nonequivalent exchange, or ben franklin effect* wcidfy was the most bearable one.) *i tried to look up how to distill the psychological phenomenon of someone probably liking u more after u do a small favor for them into 2-3 words, but it had to be a WHITE MAN'S NAME 🤢🤢NAW!!!!

for few other examples:

'say what you mean' was initially titled 'oh how the tables turn'

'roommates? more like roomfoes' was first titled 'pet peeves'

'hypothermia' was first titled 'frigid' but then i thought of paradoxical undressing nd stuff and da pseudo-warmth

i've also moved a bunch of other plot beats from wcidfy's main document into a file called "part 45678 of wcidfy"

as u can see i prioritize making myself laugh wid my wip titles. i wanna put the illusion that my writing's not that serious. unless it is? idk i'm not sure how to describe my writing in terms of its vibes.

(list of fic writer asks, ahaha bug me ab my wips)

[tubedog-todd]

i love you so fucking much like a 3-4/10 : just doesnt read as a glass animals album its like yeah if you gave this from a generic soft pop band yeah bam like a fucking 7 or some shit but this is HTBAHB Glass Animals. ZABA DUDE DO NOT FORGET ZABA!!!

painfully generic? Too poppy this time in an uninteresting way. personally i see no complete cohesive idea/theme/vibe tying everything together (yeah i know love and heartache but it does not show through with the track cohesion)the songs are so disjointed its genuinely a detriment. (filler tracks exist for a reason dumbshits)

-show pony: do dont like the chorus, too sharp? the audio is sharp and does not sound too nice, the sharp guitar though is acceptable, rhyming is ... interesting, leaves the song droning over and over, trying to drill the chorus in your head. i dont understand what its trying to set up. guitar compression is probably the best thing

-whathehellishappening : mild whiplash transition between songs but i get it,its kinda funny,again pretty unassuming each bridge/verse sounds too similar to differentiate them, again plain and unobtrusive, catchy chorus hmmm i wonder why,ends funny but i wont get why you wouldnt lead into a break track

-creatures in heaven : a little more interesting pacing wise,more personable,snappy?, again chorus is pretty prominent to a more notable amount, interest break with the space elements, wait why are there space elements, is this supposed to bright the dichotomy of heaven and earth

-wonderful nothing : start with the title oh fun, wait why are all of these songs starting with their title,i like the vocals more becuase they dont force themselves into higher notes where you can hear the strain, the beginning into the main song is funky and probably the best beat tbh,idk bdsm kink shit i like, nice layering i enjoy as the song goes but couldve been shortened, repeats a bit too much.

-a tear in space : To be honest i was so excited by this beginning riff that i wanted Wonderful Nothing to somehow lead into, these songs are so disjointed it feels like im being shoved around with no direction with how to process what im being told,rhyme dog with floor, look man i like it because of the constant variety of vocal style, BUT dude the auto tune fucking sucks and is really jarring, again catchy chorus lyrics cmon guys an album ISNT supposed to be 10 signles lumped together you NEED glue the velcro or at least something, i really like the violin/synth i just really like how light it is

i cant make you fall in love again : guitars fine WAIT THE TITLE AGAIN? jeeeeeez dudes, jumps in pretty fast with trying to hook in the chorus, does he always sing with the chorus staying at the same note. really unobtrusive lyrics wise, i enjoy his sultrier voice but at least he doesnt try to strain himself too bad but its noticable again, bland

how i learned to love the bomb : THIS IS SEX BOMBOMB AND W- sorry, this one and the previous track blend together with the droning beats and singing. the chorus is nice with this one, i like the guitar but i swear i will not remember what makes these two different. at least its not saying its title every three seconds. reminds me of that 2016 era of popi just see nothing interesting in here

-white roses : TITLE STARTS WOOOOO, it just STARTS but not excitingly! Repeating repeating repeat the drill is here and its staying!!!! Space again, wait what why? who knows. just doesnt keep my attention with the lyrics or vocal inflections(except the auto tune which makes me physically recoil like where did this come from), chorus is fine, reapeating repeating repeating and CATCHY!!! COME ON GUYS LISTEN TO THE RA DIO,

-on the run : beginning is actually interesting, i like the weird vocal beat pretty funky at least for this album, i like how he sings this beginning BUT the chorus makes me want to scream, how does this TRANSITION SO BAD? again DRONING BORING, rest of the song is okay? the chorus is the worst part and is jarring and detrimental, kinda like how the autotune in any other part of the album is. unobtrusive and radio material....hm....

lost in the ocean : i like the low key ukelele and singing, chorus is again pretty stripped but he just has more interesting inflections that lead the song forward. LOVE the background singing! the gradual growth of the song lends itself to something that BARELY resembles a glass animals songs, yes a slow and mournful one but its there. the hearts still there. Its just....still a little too obvious on the hey im a single yeah! swaying in the kitchen song, very simple and doowoppy. Cute! Bad ending to an album

Ranking : lost in the ocean 6/10 a tear in space 5/10 creature in heaven 5/10 wonderful nothings 5/10 -frankly i dont care how the rest fall. i wont listen to them willingly ever again-

OVERALL : dissapointing! Go listen to Dreamland (i think its a way better album than this. Get over ur hate boner on Heat Waves) or better yet! ZABA or HTBAHB!!!

[horriddler]

playlists for my redacted babes (repost)

i actually just got into the fandom a month ago and kinda just binged listened erik's vids buuut! this is how i depict guy, david, sam, caelum and milo in music because i can and wanted to (there will be more in the future)

pizza guy

i headcanon him as a band/theater kid shrugs so i may or may not have added some...musicals in the playlist

but i mean come on, look at me in the eye and tell me he really loves to sing the lyrics to "sexy" by mean girls. look at that little menace and then to me.

his favourite song is sincerely me btw

dabey wabey, our little fiance,

i know he loves crazy by gnarls barkley ONGG

probably listens to it in the car while waiting for angel to finish their shift.

he’s the type to tap on the beat on his steering wheel aswell because he’s mysterious like that

our little derek hale's twin here definitely DEFINITELY likes those jazz kinda stuff like this is the lost generation by the lost generation) to make him look more like a mysterious man.

(will add more songs like that soon!)

sam cowboy collins

unironically added some country music (the catchy songs)

and ALSO HE DEFINITELY LIKES RHCP. TELL ME IM WRONG | DARE YOU.

but i do think some songs doesn't really fit him, but at the same time i do think it does.

he's kinda like those 50-60's rock and roll type of guy too or he just turns on the radio and listen to whatever (similar to david)

milo (the drink)

okay in all honesty, i don't know if i'm right with the song choices here and i'm quite sad about it…

but i do think his music taste is a little similar to asher's, just a bit.

he sounds like the punk/2000's rap loving kinda guy but his whole vibe really gives off deftones.

oh yeah his favourite song is cupid's chokehold. it's fucking canon in my head.

caelum my sweetest babyboy

he's my kin so he gets all the mitski songs teehee, so imagine this playlist is him having the best time of my life!!!!

he definitely would love mitski and just anything that reminds him of the sweet times he and david had together, i don't make the rules.

the whole playlist is kinda depressing to be honest

but i'll try to add some more happy happy songs for when he feels excited when he notices he had untied some knots!

ivan (sadism’s hold)

oh no.

had an awfully little time to make this one. i really just tried to pick up the sadism's hold vibe, kinda creepy aura of music!

and some songs that make me want to scream (drunk walk home)

i'm actually kind of proud of this one tbh, i had the right (in my opinion) songs for ivan but yes! :)

everytime i talk about my playlist of him, i keep thinking of the song caravan because i feel like both the movie whiplash and sadism's hold are similar to me. the psychological stress and manipulation are so fascinating. the ending to whiplash and how ivan manipulates the listener comes out so natural and realistic, it can't be seen unless you really open your eyes and see the dark side on things. it makes you forget what had happened and the process throughout it that made andrew and the listener become like how ivan/fletcher wanted them to be. and the way it makes you give in and think it's completely okay and comforting and safe because it was what you have loved and/or what you have been needing. the whole thing with the psychology behind it makes it so eerie but interesting.

——————————————

but please do check out my spotify profile for some more playlists and maybe you can be updated when i add another character playlist

so that's it so far :)! i'm still new to the redactedverse so i'm sorry if i'm not feeling it like how yall are feeling it ykyk, i was newly obsessed so i was itching. ITCHING. to make a playlist so yeah!! hope you enjoy! but please do be aware that this is my kind of music taste and i pick songs that i really like so it's okay if it doesn't suit your taste

[joocomics]

ahh ty for responding!! ur like the sweetest ever ughh 😭😭 i actually have a blog rn called lunicho but honestly im not the most proud of the writing on there so im trying to work on my writing before starting up this blog! i'm moving my riize and boynextdoor writing to this blog and leaving the other blog for other groups that i wanna talk about! i'm kinda in a middle stage rn with my writing but i'm kinda getting it figured out!! do you have like a creative process that you go through? like do you plan your fics or anything because i want to become more efficient with my writing, i take a very long time to post and write and i feel so bad :((

giving u all of my love 🥹🥹 also we're both jooyeon girlies so i'll stop by with some pics or thoughts about him soon!!!

of course omg i would love to talk to you more so pls know you’re welcomed here anytime!! 🥹

ahh, good luck with your new blog! i’ll be looking out for your work i’m sure it’s gonna be great ~

tbh i don’t have anything specific that i stick to when it comes to writing… which when i think about it now is kinda strange bc when it comes to other things i always have to have some kind of plan/a list or anything that can guide me so i can be more efficient and productive, but when it comes to writing i just make sure to ALWAYS write down any ideas that come to mind in one document, and when i’m in the mood to write i go through them and pick whatever sparks my creativity in that moment and go from there (yall have no idea how many random conversations i have in my notes that just sit there 🫣)

i’m a mood writer 100% and that’s why i avoid sticking to plans or schedules or i will just get burnt out very quickly if i have to work on something that doesn’t excite me as much as other ideas that day, or if i don’t feel like writing at all, cause i have those days too ofc

i know it’s easier said than done, but don’t ever feel bad or guilty for taking your time with your works!! we’re here to create and have fun, so your own enjoyment and health comes first. try out different creative approaches, see how you’d feel and do what works best for you! i’ve realised that i write easier when i don’t stick to one particular thing/process, but i’m sure there are many ppl who are totally the opposite. don’t be hard on yourself okay, your readers will understand and will still enjoy what you put out <3

i’m rambling now, but i’m gonna share one more thing in case it helps someone? for me the beginning of the story is always challenging and i’ve realised that starting with a dialogue helps me get into it. most times i end up deleting it lol but just writing any kind of dialogue helps me start from somewhere, that’s something i always do if i get stuck on a specific part of the story too… music is also a must when i write! it keeps me inspired, sometimes it gives me ideas too, and i write easier and quicker when i listen to songs that have a similar vibe to what i’m working on

oh this got long sorry 🫣 but that’s all i do tbh nothing special! what about you? ~

omg a fellow jooyeon girly?? WE LOVE 🫶🏼 i rarely receive thoughts about him he deserves our love and attention!! i’m sending u lots of hugs 🥹

[woahjo]

hi! you can totally ignore this if you don't want to reply for whatever reason, but i still wanted to ask since i'm curious on other peoples perspective

i've never been one to self-ship (or at least not directly, like i def had some fics written with self insertion without realizing or made up scenarios in my head but never really put the label on it)

And I thought on why I did not want that label of self-ship put on my fav characters and myself, and ig my conclusion is that it just hurts me to put it in a way? like for me its a constant remind that they're fictional, which honestly hurts more than just doing a selfinserted fic and that's it, because once i finish the fic it's just another piece of media, nothing more to me, and i detach

but if i try to push myself to do something cute for self-shipping since everyone seems so content with it, i can't find myself doing the same because of what i just said, like even calling my favs f/o makes me feel a bit like shit lol. and tbh i think most people would disagree with me since what i see 99% of the time is people using selfshipping as a pastime or use it to cope but how do you manage to not hurt yourself when you remember it's only fictional? because i want to achieve that as well without getting myself hurt in the process.

so sorry for this being so long btw, i wanted to explain myself as best as i could

hi anon!!!

i understand you completely!! i think the bottom line of it is that if you don't like it, then don't do it, ya know? i don't mean that in the like "get out of here!!" sense, i mean it more so in the like.. if thinking inside of what the "box" might be for self-shipping, why not try thinking outside of it?

i know for me, i don't actually imagine my selfships to be "real" in any way. yes, my selfships are with me, but it's a version of me that more closely aligns with a story im writing about their relationship. i've noticed a lot of people have decently set lore with their selfships, but that personally doesn't work for me, so i tend to think in a more abstract way when it comes to lore. broad strokes, ya know?

im not sure if this makes sense, but my "selfships" often feel more like reading a book or watching a tv show with a pairing i really like than they do myself. the version of me that they're with is a character and i enjoy thinking about how that version of me might be paired with them, but they're never a full reflection of me. that's the sort of selfshipping that makes me happy. yeah sure, i don't really get to take part in the "what's your selfship lore!!!" conversations as in depth as i might want to, but that's just not part of what makes selfshipping enjoyable to me.

if i thought about my selfships as real, life sized human beings, i would also get SO sad they're not real, so i tend to imagine them as like... living in rooms in my head rather than something i can imagine in front of me. idk if that's how everyone thinks about their selfships, but that's how i do it!!! i carry the scenarios around in my pocket like bugs in a handheld terrarium.

as an aside,,, when it comes to writing, my reader is almost never a self insert. they have bits and pieces of me, but they're not a reflection of how my selfships tend to go. they are their own characters, just without a name or physical description. and it's purely for a similar reason. i'm not a novel protagonist. i don't have that sort of personality and sometimes it can bum me out to try and fit myself into a box that i think other people might enjoy (because that's not the real me).. so i don't! same goes for my selfships

anyway, all of this to say that if the box doesn't fit, out grow it. the nice thing about selfshipping is that there is no right way to do it and if thinking about it in the traditional way trips u up because it makes u sad that they're not real, switch up how you think about it :))

[zhuhongs]

hhhhh so im on a ridiculously long ride home and just my phone so tumblr diary entry time lol. if you have my instagram this will make more sense but yk. anyways. so yesterday was the last day of the semester and i was tbh pretty normal abt it. but leading up to it i was a mess and tbh i think my stomach issues actually came more from the stress of knowing im leaving but the alcohol seemed plausible enough an explanation so i ran with it. but nah i was just. hhhh overwhelmed. bc anytime i was out with ppl it disappeared and as soon i was alone and not busy i was like. oh theres the stomach pain. LOL. but yea. so i decided my going away present to everyone would be a drawing of them plus a message bc like. i always said i liked art but never rlly showed my classmates my art so i was like. welp lets go out with a bang. and it felt good bc i really wanted to do smth like this sooner. my initial plan to make a good impression was to print stickers of my art and put my IG on it and get close to ppl that way. but i was just far too stressed and thought itd be weird. so i just. Didnt. and i regret not putting in enough effort at the beginning. but i also feel like its okay, especially given my upbringing. i needed that time to myself to figure it out, and now i really know that i can just. talk to ppl. and not be afraid. bc the ppl i got closest to were the one i swore would judge me most bc of my own preconceived notions, but i told the the parts of me i hid the most and they accepted it. and could at least sympathize and actually relate and i just. why was i so silly. why was i so mean to myself to be convinced that i was so unacceptable that no one except for those who already knew me could accept me and enjoy my presence? i was so silly. i wont do that again, but if i do, it will still be easier than doing it this time bc I'll recognize the patterns and quickly snap out of it.

in a way, i really do feel like i needed all this time alone to process myself and rlly look myself in the eye and recognize the ways ive lived that i can just stop doing now that i have the freedom to be free of my past. and part of me feels like I'm saying that as copium bc i didnt connect sooner and i possibly could have also had a better time with others and still have come to realize the same things and more through the help and company of others. but i also know that i cant live life always thinking so much. so i just need to live and let the regrets be what they are, and move forwards. but the regrets do indeed linger. like i made the decision not to stay in taiwan. bc of well A. money and B. i felt like if i had more time I'd just fucking waste it like i wasted the first 4 months. i might as well force myself into a corner and see if that would make me do things i was too scared to do otherwise. and like, it worked! i did say fuck it and rlly just let loose bc i was gonna leave but now its worked too well. and like i wish soooo bad that i had those 3 months to fully enjoy every chance working out. Part of me says that its best to leave with that hope. rather than have taken that chance and it fizzled out. the thing keeping me from extending the most was honestly knowing I'd have my birthday there. and i could not take the possibility of spending my birthday alone... i legit couldnt stomach it. in the past i used to spend every bday alone but in recent years ive had a mazing friends that actually made my bday special and i just. I'm so used to having that day be nice that i really couldnt take the possibility of it being awkward. but now i realize that it wouldn't have been like that. it couldve been wonderful. but thats okay, in another life. or maybe a few years. who knows. im considering doing smth like this again in like 2 years after I've worked a bit. i have nothing but time. but man. sometimes i just wonder yk.

and last night i had a rlly good one on one talk with my classmate and that was amazing, but i got home and checked IG like a dumbass and say another group of classmates partying til 3am and i was like.... man i should've done that. but like, logically no. i had a great night regardless and i partied with those classmates last week. ive had my fill, and i had things to do today that i needed to be coherent for. but i couldn't help but thinking what if. and i know its not so easy to kill that voice inside my head. its always gonna be there. its not just me, thats the devil of SNS like instagram. bc you see the best parts of everyone's lives at all times and feel like you're missing out but you're not. you only see a sliver of what it really was..but yea. its okay. I'm still so very young. and i just need to treasure now and take whatever chances i get to nourish the connections i have right now and put yourself out there to make new ones when the chances arise. its okay, there is not life that can be lived without saying goodbye. but damn, yesterday at the school gates two of my classmates hit me with the さよなら and that. man i felt it in that moment. theres so much i wish i couldve said in all that time we had to spend together but i just held my tongue bc i was scared. but this was really playing social interaction on hard mode, like the cultural differences, the language barrier, the introversion, the fact it was my first time on my own fr, just, there were soooo many factors working against me specifically. and fuck man, i still did it. and i am still so young, i really can do whatever i want. it feels so weird. ive only been here 6 months but in a way it feels like this is how its always been. like the fact that im going home feels so strange. like i havent been there in years, i honestly cant fully grasp that im gonna be in a place where i speak the language fluently and am fully aware and familiar with my surroundings. like, why does that feel so odd. it does, i legit dont even know how to feel besides strange. i just have a strange pit in my stomach. but its okay. it will pass as everything does. but these days will always live on inside me as everything does. even if i can't fully recall it. so i just have to keep going as always. god. life is trippy man. but yea. Yea. thats it. i think

[madisonrooney]

two and a half months later and still making myself sick thinking about the legends ceremony /pos. dont see that ending any time soon. anyways.

see like. OBVIOUSLY i knew it was gonna take a toll on me but god...i didn't think it'd be this bad. but i think i'm starting to understand WHY it ended up being so much more intense than i expected.

for one thing, it's the only time ive seen miley and she wasnt like...the only reason i was there. ive seen her in concert twice and went to the launch event for her converse line. she was the main event at all three of those events. i went to the voice 9 times, and no, shes not the only attraction there, but she was the entire reason i went. had she not been a coach, i wouldnt have gone. the whole experience was fun dont get me wrong. i enjoyed the performers, the other coaches, etc. but its still an exhausting process that i wouldnt have gone through if not for her. not to mention shes present p much the entire time.

but in THIS case, its during d23, one of the biggest events of every 2 years of my life since 2013. and at the very END of it. they were like. hey. so you just had three overwhelming, exciting days full of your fandoms (PLUS d23 day at disneyland which was new) lets cap it all off with THIS. not to mention there were other legends i was excited to see too. and mileys part beginning and ending within like ten minutes was admittedly expected, but it still made it all the more difficult to process and wrap my head around.

they also WERENT GOING IN ANY SPECIFIC ORDER SO EVERY TIME SOMEONE WAS DONE I HAD TO MENTALLY PREPARE MYSELF. tbh im glad she was in the middle tho. having her at the beginning wouldve been overwhelming to start and had she been at the end i wouldve been like..stumbling out of the building lmao. the person who got awarded right after her was someone i didnt care too much about so i just got to black out for a bit. i almost needed to go in the hallway to cool down.

but like god. i fully dissociated during the best of both worlds performance like had to remind myself where i was, what i was doing, etc. likely at least partially due to my usual brain fog + sleep deprivation of d23 which almost always brings on dissociation, but also the surreal experience of hearing that song sung in that big of a venue...but also not by miley. (not that lainey wilson wasnt good, i just had to like...wrap my head around that yknow.)

i also ofc had the scare of getting my tix revoked. even once they said i was fine i was constantly paranoid something would happen and i wouldnt get to go. not even in that regard, bc i trusted that they fixed the problem, but that i would get sick or like SOMETHING would happen. and not getting to go wouldve like. destroyed me. in the weeks leading up to it i was literally knocking on wood constantly. like even at work. i was so panicked. i laugh a bit at it looking back but also like this is normal behavior coming from me lmao

i also thought it wouldnt overwhelm me as much as it did given that id seen her 12 times before, which is like...a lot to see this big of a celebrity. and 9 of those times were in a small lowkey setting for 3+ hours. so i thought "oh ive been normal around her before ill be ok :)" not thinking that had been 6+ years ago. the first 12 times i saw her were within just over 4 years, then 6 years went by without me seeing her at all, so that feeling in my brain of just seeing her casually was mostly gone. not to mention how much has happened in the last 6 years, namely quarantine.

i also had never seen her within the context of hannah before. not that she doesnt mean the world to me as herself, but hannah is really what saved me to begin with. so theres that.

anyway. if anything im glad its been more intense than expected bc im actually getting to feel something which i feel like ive been without for a while. and what im feeling is intense love for my favorite person, more intense than ive felt in years, so yah. it feels good.

[ventilation4thesoul]

so, po texted me today and asked for us to get the chance to talk tonight. he was very to the point, she didnt really say a lot which was shocking since they were the one to initatie? but ok i guess, were keeping our distance. They apologized for thursday and for cutting it off, and said it wasnt because i didnt remeber wht they said, it was bc they had other feelinsg from before in our session and had a lot of weird feelings going on, which i can relate to. She wanted to share the score cards we made, but i said i wasnt ready / didnt want to do that. I felt like it would have amde things worse, or raise more questions and negative feelings, which seemed to upset po since they wanted to share them, but like ultimately if i say no you cant press them onto me. i respect your boundaries and so you must respect mine. that is what happens lol. but regardless- we did agreee to share the 3 best moments with each other. mine were in a lot more detail (no suprise lol) but 2 of the moments po chose were really interesting to me.

th first one was from our second (i think?? maaybe third) date at the arcade, and how me taking care of him and comforting them with their fucked up knee made them feel safe, cared for, and like they could be vulnerable with me. the secon one was actually about saturday night, how we had a miscommunication and how later we talked about it, and left each other alone so po coud process his feelings, and that made po feel optimistic about how far we had gone as a couple.

The last one was the least suprsing, i knew he was gonna put this one lol. it was about the first petplay party last acfi, and how well it went and how happy he was to do it. i still have mixed feelings about that party but i did really enjoy it, and i know how important it was to Po.

he left off with "love you, see you Thursday" so i said "i love you too. can i tell you again tomorrow?" and he just replied with "sure" which doesnt make me feel good, but oh well. at least i got a "love you" out of it. Compared to nothing, ill take it.

ALSO MY DBT BOOK GOT SENT TO SWEET CADDIES INSTEAD OF HERE UGH so po's brining it with a few of my other things (idk what those could even be tbh) for me on thursday. pissed about the book bc i wanted to start on that TODAY but oh well. i think i should wait till friday to actually do it since therapy with po is going to be hella draining i bet. but hopefully not, we'll see i supose.

tomorrow im still going out with julianne, and i also wanna do a release ritual since its the eclipse starting technically! excited for that, and excited to keep moving forward with healing.

for right now, i am doing good. Tomorrow will be good to, i know it.