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elyella · 5 years ago

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How MewGulf saved me

¤Sorry I don’t speak english, it’s poorly written¤

They call this ↓ ↓ ↓ fan service.

They know exactly how to act, how to show us the right “lover look“. They are well aware about every move they have to make so we all believe this ship is real. They care about the smallest details; the way their lips move, the gazes, every touch, every blink, every smile... Everything is calculated.

But you know what? It’s one thing to be a good actor, and it’s an other to fake All. The. Time. Seriously, they never get a break, they are always together, always working: photoshoots, interviews, live events... It goes on and on, endlessly since.... last year? So, if this is all fake, as an actor, I would be EXHAUSTED right now. And as an individual, human being, I would be MENTALLY EXHAUSTED too. Always pretending just to please all the fans? No way, my brain would have exploded long ago. I would be screaming for a break, for vacations, for freedom, for rest.

So, why those two didn’t become insane yet? Well, maybe because all of this is not 100% fake. Maybe they are not pretending all the time. Maybe part of them enjoy this shipping thing a little because... Well, I would not say they have fell in love with each other, but there is a genuine connection for sure and a true friendship between those two that could explane the obvious pleasure and easyness they have in playing their role as a couple.

Of course we wish that this relationship could be real. But why do we want this? Why do we wish them so bad to be a real couple?

Maybe because since the beginning they created a real bond, not a fake one just for the sake of their job? Maybe because whenever they are together, in front of a camera or not, they always act natural, always stay themselves and genuine?

And, well, look at them. Look at this chemistry.

How can we not ship them? Body language is natural behind the staged behavior. We want them to be together because they give us the illusion that what they share is real happiness. Illusion or not, I think fiction became somehow reality. They transcended their characters literally. Unlike a lot of BL actors, they never give the vibe that what they have to do for fanservice is a trick so it is very easy for fans to fall in deep fantasies. And with other BL couples, there is often an awkward moment, a second of hesitation, before they move and oblige the fans. But MewGulf? Never they hesitate, and they go for it, they even anticipate what fans are expecting from them, but never we feel that they force themselves; they respect each other. They are natural and authentic.

It is obvious that they get along very well in their everyday life. Moreover, we can feel the harmony and goodwill even when it comes to play silly games and promote products such as tooth paste (!) or talking pillows (!?).

It is often said that this couple had brought fan service to a next level. Indeed, they did. But to me it is not just about the way they are inconsciously so clingy and touchy to each other. Nah. Without realising it, they brought fan service to a much esssential level and they did it without calculating anything, without measuring anything, without preparing anything, unlike those staged stances during fan meetings. And I’m going to tell how they did it.

I discovered those two little sunshines in the middle of the world confinement. Unlike almost everyone else, I couldn’t stay safe at home. At that time, I was scared, I was working on what we called the first line, I was depressed, tired. And those two little sunshines kept entertaining their audience as the whole planet was on lockdown. They made me laugh, they made me smile, they made me forget about all my worries, all my fears, each time they appeared on the Net.

I found them in a pretty random way -I didn’t even know that thai drama existed at that time, much less BL! - but I like to say that destiny brought them at the right moment.

We live in a world full of horror and madness, a world uncertain and fragile, and to see them singing along with a weird microphone, for example, was a ray of light in the darkness of reality. As for me, I needed this. I needed to witness such a beautiful relationship.

The lover thing is fake or is not –who cares? what happens in their personal life is not of our business, cause YES they do deserve some privacy even if they are big stars- but there is definitely a real bond, a real friendship, a real brotherhood between them that makes each live session unique and endearing.

They give us ... hope? Yeah, hope it is. Hope that love (and I’m not talking about love as a couple concept. I’m talking about love in its purest form; a strong link between two spirits regardless gender, age, race) can overcome everything, can be powerful and genuine, pure and innocent, true and blissful. Both their characters and the men behind them have taught me a lesson; true love has no gender, true love has no frontier, true love can have many aspects, many descriptions, many meanings.

“Two brothers that love each other” That is the way they described their relationship. Well, I think what they share, what they show to us, is beyond the word love, beyond the word brother. It’s something stronger and purer than that. And I don’t think there is a word that had been invented yet to describe that kind of relationship, simply because we have never seen this before. It is unique and indescribable and that is why they reached our heart deeply as no other BL couple had ever done. “Soulmates” sounds too cliche to me, but it is the closest word that could describe what I see when I watch all those “fan services” stuff.

Now let’s hope one thing: I know, in a near future, those two will have to move on. One day, life will lead them to different paths. It’s a fatality. But I hope they will always be thankful for what they shared together. I hope this duo will survive their own aura of success, because this industry can be really cruel and so toxic. I saw too many partners fall apart and end up their relationship in bitterness. I wish they will learn how to deal with the pressure and how to protect their bond from the dark side of celebrity.

Over all, I hope that they will be aware that they made people like me happy. Even though all of this was just a game for them -a job, an act- what they brought to me was real and precious.

They saved my life in many ways. Last spring, during lockdown, all I was doing was work-work-work, in an environement considered not safe and at the end of each day, I was confined at home, feeling lonely, exhausted, and stressed out. Many people around me at work had medical prescriptions for anti-stress pills, or started drinking alcohol or started using drugs just to calm down their nerves. We had a lot on our plate, but we could not give up, people needed our help more than never in this great time of need, so we all found our own way to deal with the situation and stay operational.

As for me I found the perfect cure for anxiety: MewGulf. I didn’t know I needed this. Didn’t know that two guys living on the other side of the planet had somekind of healing power over me. But it happened anyway.

You can be a hero by doing simple things; sharing a live from home while baking cookies

and playing videos games, or singing along with a weird microphone,

or wearing an Hawaiian skirt dancing Baby Shark

or putting stickers and flashy make up on your face

and so much more goofy stuff like that ;) Just by being themselves, with their happy energy, together they became my heroes. I’m glad and I’m grateful to have found them when I was really in a bad state. Each night, after another stressful day at work, they recharged my batteries. God, I don't even speak Thai! I don't get a word of what they're saying, but just the sound of their voices, their sweet laughter and their beaming face had the effect of a lullaby that sang me to sleep.

I hope they know that they have made a real difference. Difference between salvation and depression, between hope and despair, between life and death. And that is the ultimate fan service level they could reach.

Thank you my little two sunshines.

Be happy. Stay safe.

Ely

#mewgulf #tharntype #gulf kanawut #mew suppasit #long post #bl series #thai drama

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greensydney · 4 years ago

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Wellness Segments from The Friend Zone Podcast

This is where I’ll be listing Fran’s Wellness Segments. It will be updated regularly. Any specific products/stores mentioned will be linked :)

Ep. 1: It’s Ok to Log Off

Being the first episode, Fran starts us off easy with a loving suggestion to take a social media break. At the time of this recording, “Twitterless Assante” was reaping the benefits of taking mindless twitter scrolling out of his life for some time.

Ep. 2: Family Matters

This is where we start digging in and doing the work. Here, Fran asks us to look within to resolve family disputes that have gone unchecked. Have the talks that you have been avoiding, even if it feels uncomfortable. Remember to come from a place of compassion when approaching loved ones, and to not take anything personally. Which is a theme throughout many of the early episodes, as it’s the 2nd agreement in The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, one of the many books Fran has suggested.

Ep. 3: Take 5

Work on building and maintaining a healthy morning routine. This helps set the tone of the day. By leaving our phone out of this part of the day, we can avoid things like waking up to a long, angry text or some other drama and letting that guide how the rest of day goes. Basically, set the tone of your day before taking in information from anyone else.

Ep. 4: Surrender

Meditate, meditate, meditate.

Osho books are great for learning more about quieting the mind, as recommended by Fran. Sadhguru is another great teacher who I look to for insight on meditation, mindfulness, parenting, and just life in general. He has a channel on YouTube with tons of videos. Fran also recommends trying Mala beads to assist with meditation, or maybe journaling afterwards. She really just stresses the importance of beginning a meditation practice, without fear of doing it “right” or “wrong”.

Ep. 5: Even Martha Went to Jail

No clear-cut Wellness Segment for this week, but the main gist of things was: create what you want, what feels good for you. Critics will appear for everyone, no matter how great they are, so do you. Don’t keep yourself from creating things because of fear of how others will receive it.

Ep. 6: Tacos & Quickweave

In your journal, dissect the relationship you are in. Asking questions like, “Why are you with this person? Who are you *really* doing this relationship for?” For singles, ask questions like, “What am I *really* looking for, in a person? How do I want to feel when I’m with them? How do I want to show up in their lives? How do I want them to show up in my life?” For those resistant to relationships, ask yourself why and really work through it to get those answers that you seek. ~meditate, meditate, meditate ~

Ep. 7: The Choir & The Competition Are Out

Parents: Sit with our children and start asking them questions about their interests. Fran shares how she was impacted by her mom not being more encouraging about her becoming a singer, so she wants us to know how important it is to truly listen when our kids ask to pursue new things, even if it isn’t exactly what we pictured for them.

For everyone, even those who don’t have children or maybe they aren’t quite at the age to start discussing these things: we were all a child at some point. Many people can benefit from asking ourselves if the profession we are in is for you, or if you were just trying to please our own parents. It’s never too late to begin learning more about anything that excites you.

Ep. 8: Fitness Regine Hunter

(I’m pretty sure they purposely didn’t spell it “regime” because of the difficulty for many in pronouncing the word. lmao)

In this episode, Fran speaks on the importance of holistic health and wellbeing, sharing how much it has shaped who she is and improved her life. She wants us to really sit with ourselves and think about the things we want to work on. Ask, “What can I do to ensure that I’m being the most beautiful *me* possible?” From skin and hair care, to diet, to fitness, to the way we talk to ourselves or others. All the little things that make up holistic living. No quick fixes! We’re here to werrrrrrk, hunty.

“Forget the internet for a second. Forget what the Instagram models look like, we’re talking about YOU...” - Fran the MF Goat.

Implement a fitness regime that works for you. Maybe it’s part of your morning routine, maybe it’s an after dinner thing; everyone gets to choose what is best for them and that’s part of the beauty of this life. :) Try a few things and see what works. There is an emphasis on the importance of starting slow, allowing your mind and body to get used to new activity. Fran started off with walking, increasing her distance over time, and then turned that into jogging when it felt right for her. Blogilates and Yoga With Adriene are YouTube channels she mentions here. I have been hooked to yoga ever since trying a few videos from Adriene. Yoga by Biola is another great channel to check out. Biola has this video, “Restorative Yoga for Collective Trauma”, which I love. I learned of her from The Friend Zone earlier in 2020.

Skin and Hair: Check out Frans YouTube channel to see all the informative videos she has on all-natural beauty and health tips. Personally, I really like Naptural85 for hair videos as my curl pattern is very similar to hers. Click around on suggested videos to find the ones that speak to you.

Ep. 9: Don’t Forget the Feet

OIL UP! From head-to-toe. Get that moisture. Especially in these colder months. Hands, feet, nails, toenails...literally everywhere. Dustin cannot get over the importance of the feet. Fran says this aztec healing clay is great for dry, cracked feet, and she hinted at its ability to fix some facial skin woes as well. Extra Fran tip: put a small amount of oil on your nail beds before painting them. This protects the skin and promotes nail growth. I tried this myself and it’s a game changer in my nail health! They used to get cracks in them once they start getting to a certain length, but if i keep them oiled up, they are smooth as precious little stones. :)

Ep. 10: A$AP Shirley Caesar

This episode reminds us that finances, too, can impact our total feeling of well-being. The Friends all want us to get our finances in order, taking the tiniest of baby steps, if needed. Fran’s 3 things to cut back on:

Eating Out

Online Shopping

Places like Target, where you go for 1 thing and leave with a full cart.

Making these sacrifices adds up. The goal is that eventually, any big things that are weighing on our mental due to finances can more easily be dealt with.

Ep. 11: And I’m Telling You, I’m NOT Going!

It’s all about skin-care in this wellness segment! Starting with what goes into your body, and ending with what goes on your body. First off: DRINK LOTS OF WATER! This not only promotes healthy skin but as we all know, it’s just good for the body in general. The body runs nice and smoothly when it’s hydrated from the inside-out.

If you need to cut down on your caffeine intake (I’m right there with ya), Fran suggested Yerba Mate. It’s a natural source of caffeine and much cleaner than what comes in other energy drinks. I must say, I feel like the naturally occurring caffeine just hits different. I was hyyype the first few times I got a Yerba Mate instead of my usual orange Red Bull! Energy drink isn’t the only form to get your Yerba fix, thankfully. It’s sold as a loose leaf tea, or in bagged tea as well. I LOVE coffee though, and I am not giving that up so easy. I find that bringing mindfulness to my habits with it, helps me to not consume too much.

Now, for the outside of the body: washing and moisturizing daily is imperative. This may be obvious to some, but it can also feel difficult for those with a really busy schedule. I know for me, as a mom, there has been many times when I only had one chance to take a shower on a given day, and if I didn’t take it, I was always sorry. Or I would take a rushed, half-effort shower and get dressed immediately after without oil, lotion, anything. Having a routine in place for daily washing and moisturizing (that works with my sporadic life) helps me make sure it won’t get missed. Again, as with episode 9, OIL UP! Coconut oil is a great choice, but my skin just drinks it up like water. Sesame oil is a nice alternative because it’s a bit thicker. It was hard for me to get used to smelling like a huge sesame seed though, not gonna lie. But there are so many different oils and butters out there to love our bodies with, just use some trial and error to find which one(s) work best for you.

Last thing: Bedding. Change it at least once a week. Get on the silk pillowcase train! Or if you real fancy, like Fran, get you a full-on silk sheet set. Cotton sheets soak up all the moisture from our skin that we work so hard and lovingly on.

Ep. 12: The Shut Down Mixtape

House cleaning time! Clean your fridge, clean your closets, clean your desk drawers. Clean everything! Trying to especially bring focus to areas that are often overlooked in your regular daily cleaning. By doing this, we clear out old energy, removing heaviness from our homes that we may not even realize is there. I personally can vouch that this helps with anxiety and even lifts my depression symptoms as well. It feels good when the space I live in looks and smells nice, so taking the effort is more than worthwhile.

Ep. 13: Oh God…

Get in touch with what religion/spirituality mean to YOU. This one was hard for me because I wasn’t raised with much knowledge of (or respect for, sadly) religion. As I grew, I became super interested in the various religions and how they affect the lives of others - good or bad. I’ve now learned to adapt my own spiritual practices that support me and help me get by. And this is life changing.

Ep. 14: Say It Like You Mean It

Here, we are instructed to find out what our individual love language is. This comes from the book The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. The 5 Love Languages are:

Quality Time

Acts of Service

Receiving Gifts

Words of Affirmation

Physical Touch

You may already have an idea of what your primary love language is, but you can get some more information on that by reading the book or by taking quizzes on the book’s website. Knowing your love language, as a single, can help you define what you need from a partner. As someone in a relationship, it can help both partners learn how to best make sure everyone knows they are loved and valued.

Ep. 15: Yo Mama

Scalp Care for Winter Weather!

½ Cup Olive Oil ~ Seals in moisture

2 Tbsp. Honey (Fran uses Raw honey) ~ Creates pretty shine

½ Cup Coconut Milk ~ Adds protein

½ an Avocado ~ Healthy fat

½ a Banana ~ Softens hair

Blend all ingredients into a creamy conditioner, which should come out a nice light greenish color.

I keep forgetting coconut milk at the store or else I’d have been tried this one, smh *face palm* But I will edit to add my review after I finally do this. :)

Ep. 16: Non Profit & Chill

This episode had no segments, but we can still gain a wellness tip from it. Recorded right after Fran returned from a trip to Africa, she had a ton of insight to share on why it’s so important to be an ethical consumer. This episode was a great one to re-listen to as it reminded me that I am reading labels and the “about” pages on brand’s websites for a valid reason that is important to me, not just following trends. Dang imposter syndrome, always trying to step in and ruin everything (shoutout to the Friend Zone for teaching me about that as well, in a later episode.)

Fair Trade Errything !!!

Ep. 17: There’s A Song For That

No wellness segment this week, per say, but again I’ll summarize the episode to make it wellness for us all. The friends basically dode over their favorite break-up songs, from the deepest of soul, to the pettiest of rap songs. Many genres listed, and many bangers. This episode is a great listen for those going through a breakup, or even if you’re a big fan of the episodes where the Friends just let loose and have fun.

Ep. 18: Don’t You Go To Work?

Inspired by Assante and his newly purchased stones, which he is carrying safely in his pocket, Fran suggested that us listeners get in on the magic as well by getting our own stones. Starting with Citrine. This stone is a light orange color, and can be found online or in local crystal stores in most cities. Often referred to as “the merchants stone”, Citrine is believed to attract success. Fran offered the idea of laying it on some money, because she did it and got a random check in the mail soon after...And I kid you not - I did it, and the saaame thing happened to me. I was shook and beyond grateful!

Other stones mentioned here are Lapis Lazuli and Black Tourmaline. Lapis is a pretty, royal blue shade, usually with gold flakes in it. Lapis is known as the “communication stone”. Black Tourmaline is, you guessed it, black, and often found in shiny pieces. Fran says she keeps one of these by her bedside to absorb negative thoughts; letting it cleanse her energy before bed.

Stores mentioned on this episode: Rock Star, and Namaste shop. Both New York based but have online shopping available. Personally, and this is gonna sound real woo-woo, but I prefer picking out stones in person because then I can actually feed off of their energy to pick the right one for me. Those living in a small town, there is probably a crystal shop not too far away.

Ep. 19: The Friend Zone & The Read Mash Up Pt. 1

Wellness this week: be messy and silly with your friends. For me, I don’t currently have any real life friends to hang out with, plus COVID, so my family gets to enjoy all my silly mess. Life just cannot be lived being serious 100% of the time!

Ep. 20: 2015, I’ma Let You Finish, But 2016…

I loved this episode because it brings us back to our journals. Fran asks the guys and us listeners to reflect on two simple, but powerful questions to answer at the end of each year:

What are 3 things you discovered about yourself this year that you love? Things that you feel will propel you into the next year, as a person, career-wise, and as a whole. Write freely about how you plan on maintaining and evolving.

What are 3 things you discovered about yourself this year that you did not like? Maybe some of these things are hard to face. Reflect on how you’ve allowed them to hold you back and what you are doing to adjust them.

#friendzonepod #wellness #holisticliving #forthe #hoodhearted

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visambros · 5 years ago

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For the sake of my future, I am leaving Tumblr.

I haven’t been very active on here, and I know I haven’t been particularly talkative either, but I’m making this post to let people know that I’m going. I may delete this blog in the future, but I’m keeping everything for now.

There is a long list of reasons why I’m doing this, but if you don’t want to read the entire post then the long story short version is: My life is a dumpster fire that will not change for the better unless I devote as much of my free time as possible into improving my craft so I can make a living through my art/writing.

Full details under the cut.

I’ve been planning on making this post for a while, but I didn’t want to abandon this account forever because despite not being as active on here as I used to be in the past, I’m still emotionally attached to my account and still wanted to use Tumblr as a means of entertainment when I wasn’t working. And I knew that if I made this post, I’d have to commit to staying away and I wanted to avoid that. But two things happened last Sunday that acted as a major wake up call for me.

1) There was a false alarm at a power plant not too far away from where I live. I don’t live in the same city as the power plant, but I live in what would be the danger zone should the power plant have a melt down. The false alarm for the power plant was issued in the morning. I don’t have a cell phone, but my sister (who I share a room with) does and received the alert for the “meltdown”. Since it woke her up, she was tired and accidentally exited the alert without reading it first. She then went back to sleep.

Now I don’t blame my sister for doing this. Hell, I probably would’ve done the same thing in her shoes. My issue lies in the fact that, had there been an actual emergency, I would’ve a) slept through it or b) had no reliable way of getting out of the city. I can’t drive, never learned how, so I couldn’t have driven myself to safety if my mom had decided not to leave the house (I know what you’re thinking; “why wouldn’t she leave the house?” and honestly she most likely would’ve left the city, but my mom has made enough stupid decisions throughout her life that her staying home isn’t outside the realm of possibility for me to believe).

Even though I know it was a false alarm, it’s still scary to think about how I could’ve died- or at least gotten very sick- had it been a real meltdown. I hate living in this city and I want to move, but I don’t have the means to do so at the moment.

2) My stepfather. For those who don’t know, my mom married a man she only knew for a few months and he is a horrible human being. He has threatened to kill me and my mom in the past, has been arrested multiple times since arriving to Canada (late last year he was arrested for possession of heroin), and is altogether an unpleasant and annoying man to be around.

So last Sunday night, I was doing the dishes when I heard a knock at the door. It was my stepfather, who had left the house for whatever reason and had returned. However, as I neared the door, I noticed that it was unlocked. He could’ve let himself in, but for whatever reason he was still knocking. I suddenly got it in my head that he wanted me to open the door so he could yank me outside without having to drag me through the house first.

I know that sounds paranoid, but the man is disturbed. I don’t think I’ve gone a week without at least worrying once that I was going to come home to my stepfather having murdered everyone else in the house while I was out. Added to the fact that he and I really hate each other and I was the one to call the police on him two times, and I think you could forgive me for thinking that he might try to hurt me if given the chance.

Despite my fears, I still opened the door for my stepfather. He didn’t attack me. He just went back inside and did whatever it was that he did. But even though nothing happened to me, I was still wound up for about five minutes and it felt like all the nerves in my body (especially my arms) were somehow taut and weak at the same time.

Aside from my sister, who is my only bright spot in this house, I don’t want to live with or have anything to do with this family anymore. I would’ve left years ago if I could. But again, I don’t have the means to do so at the moment.

This is why I’m leaving Tumblr.

I know that it’s super hard and almost impossible to make a decent living off the arts. I know I could try and try for the next decade and still not get anywhere I want to be. But I need to try, because I’m tired of my life being the way it is right now and I’m scared that things will never get better if I’m too passive.

I currently work at Walmart. I’m on my feet during the majority of my shift and my legs and knees hurt so bad I think I might be doing long lasting (but hopefully not permanent) damage to them. I work evenings, so I only have mornings and the weekends to get my art and writing done, but I’m so tired that my artistic productivity tends to drop off after Monday morning.

It’s too easy to spend my mornings and weekends procrastinating. It’s too easy for my life to turn into sleep>eat>Walmart>sleep>eat>Walmart until the day I die. The fact that it’d be so easy for me to be an old woman and still be at a similar stage in my life, even if I work my ass off trying to get my art/writing career going, fills me with so much existential dread I can hardly stand it.

But I’m tired of being so poor I could only visit my biological dad once while he was in the hospital for cancer. I’m tired of living with student loans that never seem to end. I’m tired of working at a job that demands so much of my time and energy. I’m tired of living in an area where people keep getting murdered in a less than a ten minute walk from my house. I’m tired of being afraid that I’ll come home from work and see police outside my house and body bags being taken into an ambulance. So I have to try, even if my chances of success are low.

I know I chose a bad career path for someone who wants to be financially comfortable. “Starving artist” is a stereotype that exists for a reason. But aside from it being my passion, I know I’m not good enough at anything else to make a proper living doing anything else. If I can’t make my dreams a reality, I’ll just be stuck in retail for the rest of my life, and I would honestly rather die than live like that. And I don’t want to die. Despite my anxiety and depression issues, despite the fact that I sometimes struggle with suicidal idealization, I don’t want to die. I just want my life to get better.

So when I say I’m leaving Tumblr, I don’t mean I’m just leaving Tumblr. I mean I’ll be using the internet as a whole for mainly a research/resource tool for my art and writing. Which means I’ll be spending very little time for leisure on the internet. It also means I won’t be socializing much anymore, which sucks because I like having internet friends (even though I’m bad at keeping in touch) but if I want my dreams to come true, I can’t be distracted by anything, even other people. From this point onward, I’ll essentially be working (almost) nonstop, only taking enough breaks so my brain doesn’t melt from the stress.

I know this is all very extreme, but I really haven’t fully expressed how absolutely desperate I am for my life to stop being so horrible. Maybe if I grind hard enough, things will be okay someday.

If you made it this far, thank you. And I’m sorry if I ever did anything to make you uncomfortable or hurt you in any way.

Goodbye everybody.

#personal

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notjusthespongenextdoor · 5 years ago

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“Begin a Better Relationship with Yourself

Emotionally Immature People dismiss your inner world as if it were unnecessary and irrelevant. If you believe these dismissals, you will miss the wisdom your inner self offers you in the form of feelings, intuitions, and insights. But you can use the following five ways to establish a more trusting, respectful relationship with your inner self and its guidance.

Pay attention to your internal physical sensations.

Figure out the meaning of your feelings

Refuse to judge and criticize yourself.

Identify what you need.

Daydream about your life purpose and where you belong.

1. Pay Attention to Your Internal Physical Sensations

You may have been raised to tell yourself things like, That doesn’t make any sense; that’s crazy; I’m exaggerating; I shouldn’t be feeling this way. But sometimes physical sensations are more insistent. Your physical cues can give you a tremendous amount of valuable information about situations and other people.

One of the best ways to strengthen your inner guidance is to pay close attention to all physical sensations. Your inner self speaks through the body, with your well-being as its primary mission. Your body is constantly giving you a ‘state of the union’ update, letting you know how your psychological and physical needs are being met, neglected, or threatened.

To build a better relationship with yourself, sometimes you have to relearn how to pay attention to your physical sensations. Many adult children of Emotionally Immature parents get so wrapped up in their thoughts that they can’t feel their body’s messages. They literally don’t notice that they’re tense, stressed, uncomfortable, or even afraid. Nor do they fully experience moments of joy because they have gotten out of touch with their feelings. Here are some physical cues that are excellent sources of guidance.

Pleasurable Sensations

When you’re going in a good direction, you may feel a fullness, warmth, or blooming in your chest, along with a weight being lifted from your neck and shoulders. The world seems lighter, brighter, and freer, and so do you. You feel energized and have a sense of physical ease and capability, as if your body were ready to do anything.

Physical Warnings

A clenched stomach, tight neck and shoulders, an aching back, or tension in your arms might warn you when you’re doing too much or are being subjugated. You might feel revulsion or skin-crawling in the presence of someone who wants to violate your boundaries. Sensations of fatigue, irritability, restlessness, and even nausea are additional ways your inner self tries to alert you to life-draining people and situations.

Energy Shifts

Your inner self reliably uses sensations of being energized or depleted to guide you. As you encounter certain people, situations, or even ideas, your energy level either rises or sinks. An increase in energy indicates you’ve found something enlivening in you. However, if your energy level sinks, chances are that situation or person is not good for you.

Anxiety is the exception to this rule. If you grew up with Emotionally Immature parents, your might have learned to feel anxiety towards things that are good for you. For instance, if you grew up feeling ignored or rejected, you may have generalized that anxiety to all social situations. Fortunately, you can desensitize yourself to interpersonal anxiety by practicing repeated exposures to safe and welcoming people and social situations.

Depressed feelings also use energy levels to tell you when there’s nothing in your current situation that is feeding the real you. It would seem almost unnecessary to mention this, but it’s astounding how often we feel our energy level drop and yet proceed anyway because we tell ourselves it’s the right thing to do. This usually turns out badly in the long run.

2. Figure Out the Meaning of Your Feelings

An Emotionally Immature parent’s idea of sympathy is to tell their child there’s no reason to feel bad. For instance, Emotionally Immature parents tell their frightened children, “There’s nothing to be afraid of,” rather than listening to what’s frightening them. Just about the most self-alienating thing you can tell anyone is that there’s no reason for what they’re feeling.

When a parent teaches you to disregard your feelings, it’s another way of telling you that your inner world doesn’t count. But rejected feelings don’t go away; they go underground instead. If enough feelings are suppressed, they will ultimately come out in classic symptoms of depression, anxiety, or acting out.

Therefore, it always pays to look for the cause of your feelings. Trust that there’s a reason and think about what happened just before you started feeling that way. When you treat your feelings like they make sense, you show your inner self that it can talk to you and you will listen.

3. Refuse to Judge and Criticize Yourself

Growing up with Emotionally Immature parents can make you very self-critical because they think that criticism is the only way to make you turn into a responsible person. You end up feeling like you never measure up and constantly need to improve yourself. You evaluate yourself to a point that’s destructive, not constructive.

Like your parents, you may think that self-criticism will make you a better person. But criticizing yourself won’t improve you any more than attacking a child’s self-esteem makes them more confident. Self-criticism is no way to have a relationship with yourself. It sentences you to a life of anxious dependency in which no power is greater than someone else’s opinion of you.

Instead of judging yourself, why not think about what you’d like to change, figure out the steps to get there, and seek support? Even regrets about your past behavior don’t have to turn into judgments. If you know what you wish you’d done differently, you’ve already learned your lesson and can forgive yourself in light of your new understanding.

4. Identify What You Need

When you are raised to put others first, you may lose touch with even your most basic physical needs, such as rest, sleep, or recreation. Early training in self-neglect means that it may now take a conscious, deliberate effort to take care of yourself.

When you pay attention to your inner self’s promptings, you might discover that you need more social contact, group activities, or community involvement than you thought. Fortunately, as you build a better relationship with yourself, you will feel increasingly confident and comfortable about seeking social situations you enjoy.

5. Daydream About Your Life Purpose and Where You Belong

Emotionally Immature People are often skeptical and cynical about anyone’s search for a more meaningful and rewarding life. Being so alienated from their own inner worlds, they don’t see how daydreaming could ever be productive. But of course, daydreaming is essential to generating ideas for a more fulfilling life. Your inner self urges you to daydream and imagine yourself in new circumstances that fit you better. You may not yet know your life’s purpose or the kind of community you need, but once you start looking within, you’ll feel more energized and hopeful. Daydreams are everybody’s first step toward finding a more meaningful and rewarding life.”

-- Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents, Lindsay C. Gibson

#spongesound.txt #long post //#but ... good post ...

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uncloseted · 5 years ago

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if you are against prisons what do you think should happen to the cops who killed George Floyd?

So I should preface this by saying that I’m not necessarily against incarceration or institutionalization for people who have committed terrible crimes. I’m against the prison system that most Western countries use, and particularly against the prison industrial complex that the US has developed. If we could transition to a penal system like Norway or Sweden has, with the eventual goal of getting rid of prisons entirely, I would consider that to be incredible progress.

I should also say that this system only works if you believe in people’s ability to change. The idea that people can and will improve with the right support is an idea that’s fundamental to how I engage with the world, but I understand that not everyone agrees with me on that front.

I think the question of what happens to “bad people” is actually irrelevant to the conversation about what we should do next. It’s predicated on a presumed fear for safety, but we have never been safe under the current system. The US has 5% of the world’s population but one quarter of the world’s prisoners, and yet, there have always been bad people who have not been incarcerated. The vast majority of cops involved in shootings are never arrested at all; if not for the outcry from the public, all four of the cops involved in George Floyd’s murder would have gone free.

Less than 1% of rapes lead to felony convictions in the US, while 89% of victims report some level of distress, including high rates of physical injury, post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, anxiety and substance abuse. Our justice system has never protected people of color, LGBT people, disabled people, poor people, women, or other marginalized groups; in fact, those individuals can experience additional violence at the hands of the state. Our justice system disproportionately incarcerates Black men (the incarceration rate of black men is over six times as high as for white men), and has ten times as many mentally ill individuals as state hospitals do.

We know that long prison sentences have little impact on crime, that increasing the severity of punishment does little to deter crime, and that spending time in prison actually increases the likelihood that a person will commit another crime. In the US, the vast majority of prisoners are rearrested within 3 years of their release, largely due to the lack of institutional support once they’re released and a focus on punishment instead of rehabilitation. Those facts are from the literal National Institute of Justice, an official branch of the Department of Justice. Our government knows our prison system doesn’t work. They just don’t care to change it. The prison system in the US is expensive and ineffective at best, and actively hurting its own established goals at worst. But it stays alive because it’s privatized and shareholders benefit from the expansion of prisons and tougher laws on crime.

In any case, the discussion about alternatives to police and prisons is a long one, but essentially the answer is rehabilitation and reconciliation. Prison abolitionists argue for replacing incarceration with fines, house arrest/curfews, mandatory drug/mental health treatment/rehabilitation programs, supervised release, probation, restitution to victims, community service, and other restorative justice programs. They argue for community accountability practices, including community controlled courts, councils, and assemblies as an alternative to the current justice system. This sort of system might include mediation between the survivor of violence and the perpetrator to hold the person who committed the violence accountable by working to meet a set of pre-determined demands.

Abolitionists also focus on rehabilitation; the idea that when a person is convicted of a crime, we should be focused on changing their lives in a way that will make them productive, law-abiding members of society. What that looks like depends on the person; for some people, that might mean getting regular access to addiction specialists or mental healthcare or putting them in touch with organizations that can get them access to food, clean water, housing, and job training.

But also, prison abolition isn’t really even about what you do after someone commits a crime. The goal is to prevent crime. Crime doesn’t just happen out of nowhere. Criminals don’t wake up one day and decide it would be super fun to pass off a fake $20 bill as real, risking their freedom and their lives in the process. Crime is a result of desperation and of our government’s lack of support for the people who need it most. When I see stories about the prison system in Norway or Sweden, the comment section is always full of people joking about how Scandinavian prisons are nicer than their apartment, or how the prisoners are treated so well that they want to go to Scandinavia and get arrested. I get that it’s (kind of) a joke, but think about that- our government does so little for its people that being imprisoned abroad is a better situation than the one a lot of us are living in now. And yet, the follow up question never seems to be “why doesn’t our government take care of its people” or “why is the prison system in the US so horrifyingly bad”.

We have so much crime in the US for a couple of reasons. The biggest is that we manufacture crime through programs that incarcerate people for non-violent offenses, like the War on Drugs or the prohibition of sex work. But it’s also that there’s a huge disparity in income, in education, in basic resources that are needed to survive. Flint, Michigan still doesn’t really have clean water. When you have a family to support and a sub-par high school education and no job opportunities around you and a justice system that already presumes your guilt just because of how you look.... all of a sudden, crime seems like an option, because it’s the only option you have left. Part of abolishing the prison system is giving people other options and making sure that they know they’re supported, cared for, and not alone in their struggle.

#Anonymous #effys-closet #effys closet

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lucifers-trash-stash · 5 years ago

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Musings

Hey y’all, I said I was going to write a post talking about my writing and stuff because I haven’t in a while, so I’m just going to talk to u guys about what’s been up. I’ll put it under a cut because it’s probably going to be long and it deals with my mental health journey recently so if that interests u then saddle on up buddy cause we got some stuff to discuss

So I’m quite aware how long it’s been since the last RFM chapter. I’ll be up front and say that I am about halfway through it but I’ve been stuck on it for a while. Part of the reasons I’ve been stuck is because I’ve always had a fear of disappointing the readers of this fic, as it’s the first long fic of mine I’ve written in a long time AND it’s garnered a lot of attention (not to make it sound like a humble brag but yeah) so I constantly worry about if people will like what I’m writing.

For a long time a part of me wanted to work on other fics inbetween while I waited for my inspiration to pick back up, but then I felt guilty because I was worried that people would be upset that I’m not working on RFM. So instead I worked on nothing, because I couldn’t stand to look at my work because I was paralyzed with the notion that what if everyone hated what I put out there.

This has been a constant issue of mine as a writer, and in my real life I’ve always worried about disappointing people instead of taking care of myself or accepting my work as being okay and just letting it go instead of stressing over it.

I’ve also been going through a rough patch in my life, and I was in a very depressed state. Like, worse than I’ve ever been in before. I was having meltdowns about every day and constantly getting stressed over work and not having motivation to write when I came home. Dealing with family issues, between family member’s passing, the Holidays, and still living at home and having parents that wear me down mentally every day, it was coming to a boiling point.

But during one of my last meltdowns, I finally said that I had enough and got in touch with my Dr to try antidepressants. The clarity and lack of anxiety I’ve been feeling is unreal. I’ve been feeling good about myself and motivated for the first time in a long time. Figuring out dosages and prescriptions is still a work in progress, but so far things have been going much better than before.

So I suppose what I’m trying to say in this long rambling post is that I’m in a much better place currently, and it’ll certainly affect my creative output once I settle back into a daily routine after the holidays. It’s just nice to actually feel up to working on stuff and not stressing out about nearly as many things as before.

I think part of what I’m going to try to do is to not worry as much about how productive I am or what exactly I’m working on. You might see a lot of one shots for other fandoms and such inbetween chapters of RFM because I want to follow my inspiration where it takes me. I have a ton of WIPS that are all half finished that I would love to release and show you guys. Hell, I might even write some goofy side stories for RFM while I write the main story just to get some of the creative juices flowing and write for the characters and see how they interact with each other.

It’s been a long journey for me and I still am going strong, so I would like to thank you guys for your continued support and hopefully I will have more content for y’all to enjoy in 2020 :)

#charlotte speaks

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pantaro · 5 years ago

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The Life and 2019 of David Dalziel

Helluva year.

Where to start.

youtube

How about... starting production on Storm Warning, baby! Even launched an extreme pre-alpha of it. With the start of 2019, and the start of every month of it, I felt a rush to just do something! So I opened up Unreal Engine 4. At first I thought “Oh man, I’m in over my head!” I didn’t know how to start. So much I had to do, all from a blank slate I didn’t understand. But I learned, and I started small, with a simple texture. Once I figured out how to make a metal texture, there was still a lot of work to do, but I knew how to start. The top of a mountain still looks extremely far away even from 1000 feet up, much like the cleaning of an attic, but progress is progress.

I got to take my first plane flight, trip outside Ontario, trip across the border, solo vacation, solo hotel stay, and commentary shift of a Twitch stream that wasn’t mine. And all of those were the same event, as I went down to Fort Worth, Texas to attend TheSpeedGamers’ Legend of Zelda Marathon: Hyrule VS Lorule 2. Admittedly, my commentary shifts weren’t the best, due to me taking the slots with the least amount of viewers and I didn’t have much of a chatroom to communicate with. But hey, someone had to do it. And I had fun. But, as I’ve learned hard that month, communication is a two-person dance, and sometimes, you’re just silent and solo, looking for a partner.

I went through the worst bout of depression of my life shortly after, shortly after I realized I was effectively ignored at my own 25th birthday party. It didn’t help that my parents are DANGEROUSLY stupid when it comes to mental health. I mostly kept it private and offline, mostly due to how lack of attention was at the heart of the issue, I was convinced that nobody would notice if I did vent online. Heck, maybe I did vent, and that proved true. That whole part of my life was one dark blur. I’ll spare you the potentially triggering details, but hey, I’m still here.

And for the record mom, it’s NOT “““antisocial””” to have unfounded wants to socialize. In fact, it’s the opposite! I’m still mad at your misinformation and your insistence that I let it go when I’m still reeling. Some wounds never heal.

Good stuff again! FanExpo is always a fun time, because that’s when I can be in a large crowd of strangers and not feel any anxiety or stress. We’re all of a like mind, we’re here to have fun and take pictures. There, I’m an extrovert, and a proud Torontonian once again! Suck on it, Pickering, you’re not my real home, and you never will be! ... Anyhoo, I got to meet the one, the only, the woman of 1000 voices, Tara Strong! And, as per tradition, I got an autograph and some voice acting for my OCs. She even said “Are you hiring me?” Yes, essentially. And if I’m lucky, we’ll be in touch again sometime this next decade.

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I’m still meaning to upload the picture of the autograph to my DeviantArt and second Tumblr, I’ve just been meaning to upload it in the afternoon, and my sleep schedule is as broken as ever.

Also, one of my reblogs went viral. Got over 6000 points on Reddit between r/tumblr and r/pointlesslygendered. I also had one of my YT videos go somewhat viral, getting almost 60,000 views thanks to Bowsette and Scooby Doo. A link to my Twitter has been added to the Homestar Runner wiki somewhere. I added a new trope to TV Tropes. And I made a Homestuck OC. So all in all, helluva year, but with major room for improvement.

#the life and times of david dalziel

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angellicalls-blog · 5 years ago

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[ ALEX FITZALAN , CISMALE , HE/HIM ] — hugo william montcroix is the twenty year old sophomore in professor morrow’s classics course. they are a pisces, which is probably what makes them so non-judgemental and anxious. every time i see them, i can’t help but think of the the smell of french perfume, hand rolled cigarettes, paint stained hands, dreamy eyes towards the sky and wrinkled designer clothes.

--- FAMILY

Hugo is the middle child of the Montcroix family, who are known by their extensive tradition as politicians and investors of a large variety of schools across the globe. They, allegedly, come from a family of scholars and people who value knowledge, his older brother is a well-known astronomer and his younger sister is a tech prodigy, while their mother teaches at Columbia and their father is a politician who fights for education.

Or at least that’s what everybody should think about them, a family of humble people that use their money wisely. Little did they know his father steals money from education, his mother is frequently absent from her classes, his brother slept his way to the top and his sister following their father’s footsteps.

Meanwhile, Hugo is the odd one out, who doesn’t give a shit about any of that and just strives to navigate through that mess of a family. He’s the middle child, who’s not into science or politics, who loves arts and literature, and runs away from attention at all costs.

He actually managed to set up an expo of his sculptures (his parents forgot to attend it), but it blew up pretty big and it was on newspapers all over us.

The reason Hugo isn’t currently at Columbia with his mother lies with a problem involving speed racing, bad reputation and lack of productivity. He’s always loved adrenaline and experience new things, and getting his fifteen minutes of fame was the bridge he needed to live his dreams.

His parents think of the kids like......... more as if they’re a sciences project than actual human beings. They try to love the kids to an extent, but fail completely and end up passing as condescending, so the kids all think it’s their fault because they’re not good enough.

Cool parties, alcohol and drugs were nothing compared to the thrills of speeding his sports car through the streets of Portland to win races against other rich kids like himself. It was a fight of egos and he loved every single moment of it, nothing his family did could outshine that.

--- PERSONALITY

Hugo is a major soft boy with artist vibes, the one who offers u to go to a café and watch the sky and do stuff in the real world outside internet

I wouldn’t say he’s friendly with everybody, but he’s a pretty warm and chill person, he likes to really pay attention on people and what they have to say -- bc of that he’s a great listener, but don’t fool yourself, he can and will immortalize ur face on an ugly painting if necessary

ABSOLUTE MESS OF A PERSON

Used to be such a nice kid when he was younger, when his older brother told him that their parents didn’t love them he ACTUALLY-CRIED-A-FUCKING-RIVER. After that, Hugo was deeply hurt and tried to prove his brother wrong, until he realized his brother was right and pressed the “FUCK THIS SHIT” button

Followed his brother’s footsteps into becoming a The Riot Club rich boy, but isn’t that preppy bc he cared probably too much about some stuff

Very sensitive and anxious, but sometimes i think he might get agressive??? idk, the boy has a lot of potential and def will surprise me

That “my problem is that i fall in love with every pretty thing is absolutely him”, he falls in love every 10 seconds

Doesn’t believe in gender and sexuality, but refers himself as a cismale bc he doesn’t mind and society made him this, so i don’t think he’s actually non binary??? help, idk

Relies a lot on money +++ is that one rich boy with expensive (and wrinkled, probably paint stained) clothing

I mean, Hugo’s nice but he’s also a rich boy. He’s inherently selfish lmao, also his parents pretty much fucked up with his head, so don’t expect someone with a lot of morals

Thinks the greeks were right about everything, that says a lot about him already

--- LIL’ HEADCANONS

Absolute wine snatcher, will steal every available bottle of wine without guilt

Will transform every given room in his personal atelier

Always has pencils and ink with him & draws/paints on places that weren’t made to be drawn/painted at, like

church benches, walls, anything really

bathroom stalls

receipts, napkins, imPORTANT DOCUMENTS

diner, restaurant, bar or pub tables

walls

doors

newspapers

lost objects

library books (YES, CAN U IMAGINE THIS????)

body parts????

Does art forgery to get some extra ca$$$$hhhh, if you want in, i’d love to plot this!!

Started to roll his own cigarettes bc he likes to mix cannabis and tobacco, and he puts them inside an old lucky strike box he painted over.

FUN FACT: hugo thinks rolling cigarettes helps him with his anxiety and he only learned to roll a good cigarette bc he compulsively started to roll them, absolutely hyperfixated, until he thought it was acceptable

He is obsessed by the idea of creating a perfect sculpture & the new world’s masterpiece (we all know it’s absolutely unreachable, but don’t tell him that) bc only this will truly fulfill his parents and make them proud of him (poor boy). IT ALSO NEEDS TO BE SAID THAT he doesn’t know what this masterpiece is, he believes he’ll know after he’s finished it.

Depressed & stressed, never takes his meds bc Hugo thinks they leave him empty and he needs the suffering for his art, but at the same time he’s basically always miserable (HIS ARGUMENT: all the world’s biggest artists were, just look at Van Gogh)

He pays a lot of attention on bodies and he thinks all bodies are beautiful, his goal is to make a perfect replica of Michelangelo’s attention on details like flesh, muscles, bones, etc. He wants to look at other people’s bodies closely and touch it so he can know how to sculpt them

\\ That’s also a slight excuse to sleep around

Mess of a person

#about.

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alpha-incipiens · 5 years ago

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Favourite music of the decade!

This is some of what I’d consider the most innovative, artistic and just great to listen to music from 2010-2019.

First a Lot of very good songs:

Crying - Premonitory dream

Arcade Fire - Normal person

Sufjan Stevens - I want to be well

Deerhunter - Sailing

Foster the People - Pumped up kicks

Carly Rae Jepsen - Boy problems

Grimes - Butterfly

Travis Scott - Butterfly effect

Future - March madness

Kanye West ft. Nicki Minaj et al - Monster

Juice Wrld - Won’t let go

Danny Brown - Downward spiral

Kendrick Lamar - Sing about me, I’m dying of thirst

Kate Tempest - Marshall Law

The Avalanches - Stepkids

Iglooghost - Bug thief

Vektroid - Yr heart

Ariel Pink - Little wig

Mac Demarco - Sherrill

Vektor - Charging the void

Jyocho - 太陽と暮らしてきた [family]

Panic! at the disco - Ready to go

The Wonder Years - An American religion

Oso oso - Wake up next to god

The World Is a Beautiful Place & I Am No Longer Afraid to Die - I can be afraid of anything

And my top 20(+2) albums:

Calling Rich gang’s style influential on trap would be like saying Nirvana may have had some impact on early-90s grunge. In 2019 with trap so omnipresent in popular music, hip hop or otherwise, through the impact of artists like Drake and Travis Scott it’s almost hard to remember when this was a niche genre - it was Rich gang that popularised its modern sound here. Birdman’s beats with their rattling hi-hats and deep bass could have been made 5 years later without arousing suspicion, while Rich Homie Quan and Young Thug deliver consistently entertaining flows and numerous bangers between them. Thugger, this being his first major project, steals the show with his yelpy and hilarious rapping style. This may have once been the defining sound of house parties in the Atlanta projects; now it can be heard blasting in the night from white people’s sound systems around the world.

Early 21p may have never aimed to be cool, to avoid a certain appearance of lameness, but they did have a knack for writing some really catchy pop with an optimistic message. To the devoted, the critics of Pilots’ apparent mishmash of nerdy rap, sentimental piano balladry and EDM production were just stuffy, wanting music to stay how it was back-in-the-day forever and unwilling to get with the times. This viewpoint is understandable when you approach this album openly and actually listen to Tyler Joseph’s lyrics about youthful anxiety and insecurity, delivered with real conviction and sincerity, actually recognise that disparate musical elements are all there for emotional punch. A few songs do underwhelm. But this is emo for post-emo Gen Z’s and it’s easy to see why to some it can be deeply affecting.

The musical ancestor to the ongoing and endless stream of ‘lo-fi hip hop beats’ youtube mixes, chillwave filled the same low-stress niche, and Dive released at the peak of the genre’s relevance. Tycho’s woozy, mellow sound prominently features rich acoustic and bass guitar melodies over warm synths, enhancing the music’s organic feel compared to that of purely digital producers in the genre. The experience of starting this album is like waking up in a soft bed, the cover’s gorgeous sunrise reddening the room’s walls, while a guitarist improvises somewhere on the Mediterranean streets outside. And it is indeed great to study or relax to!

Simple, minimal acoustic guitar and vocals. If you’ve got talent this type of music shows it, or else it doesn’t: perfect then for Ichiko Aoba. Her touch is light, her songs calm, meditative, in no rush to get anywhere. As if serenely watching a natural landscape, one can best understand and enjoy Aoba’s music in quiet and peaceful appreciation.

Through the incorporation of genres like shoegaze and alternative rock, Deafheaven managed to create a rare thing: a metal album that’s both heavy and accessible, needing no sacrifice of one for the other’s sake. Over these four main songs, there’s a sensation of being taken on an intense, atmospheric and even emotional journey, with the band stepping away from the negativity and misanthropy that dominates most metal. The vocals, closer to the confessionalism of screamo than classic black metal shrieks, express more sadness than they do aggression, and in respites between solid blaring walls of guitar and drums, calm pianos and gently strummed guitar passages set a pensive tone. This totally enveloping, flawlessly produced sound can take you away, like My Bloody Valentine’s best work, into a dream or trance.

By the late 2000s MCR had taken their thrones as the kings of a subculture formed from the coalition of goth, emo, scene and other assorted Hot Topic-donned kids, and earned a lifelong place in the hearts of many a depressed teenager. But after the generation-defining The Black Parade Gerard Way took off the white facepaint and skeleton costume, ditched the lyrics about corpse brides and vampires, and embraced an anthemic, purely pop punk sound. The silly story of Danger Days, set in a dystopian California where villainous corporations rule and only the Punks can stop them, serves as a kind of idealised setting for the all-out rebellion against authority and normality that so many fantasised about taking part in. The band’s electrifying performances are the most uplifting of their decade making music. For many diehards the upbeat sound here was a celebration that they’d made it through the most difficult years of their lives, and a spit in the face of those who’d done them wrong.

The teller of rural American tales, the indie legend, the teen-whisperer himself. John Darnielle, long past his early lo-fidelity home recordings and now backed by a full band, loses none of the heart his songs are famous for. The theme of the album, taken straight from John’s childhood when the pro wrestling on TV offered an escape from his abusive stepfather, is complemented by the country and Tex-Mex flavouring to the instrumentation. Some of the best lyrics in his long career infuse the stories of wrestlers with universal meaning - his characters try, fail, lose hope, reckon with their mediocrity, and when they step into the ring they’re up against all the adversity life can throw at them. John Darnielle’s saying that when that happens, you stand up and sock back.

Folk music was always a major part of the Scandinavian black metal scene during its peak years, so when American musicians began exploring the genre naturally they incorporated American styles of folk. The complex, oppressive and sometimes hellish compositions here, starkly contrasted with bluegrass that sounds straight from the campfire circle, give the impression of life in the uncharted woods of the American frontier, in the middle of a brutally cold winter. Almost unbelievably, one-man-band Austin Lunn plays every instrument on the album: multiple guitar parts, bass and drums as well as banjo, fiddle, and woodwinds.

Andy Stott seems to delight in making his music as unnerving, haunting, perhaps even scary, as possible. The female vocals these songs are built around become ghostly, echoing and overlapping themselves disorientingly. The percussion, audibly resembling metal clanging, rustling or rattling in the distance, is often left to stand for its own, creating a tense space it feels like something should be filling. UK-based club and dub music can be felt influencing the grimy almost-but-not-quite danceable rhythms here, but the lo-fi recording and menacing vibe makes this feel like a rave at some sort of dimly lit abandoned factory.

There’s so much Mad Max in this album you can just picture it being set to images of freights burning across the desert. True to its title, the nine songs on Nonagon Infinity roll into each other as if part of one big perpetual composition, with the end looping back seamlessly to the start and musical motifs cropping up both before and after the song they form the base of. With its fuzzy, raw sound, bluesy harmonica and wild whooping, the Gizz create a truly rollicking rock’n’roll experience. The band would go on to release 5 albums within twelve months a year later, but Nonagon shows these seven Australian madmen at the height of their powers.

Sometimes you just want to listen to fun, hyperactive pop. The spirit of 8-bit video game soundtracks and snappy pop punk come together to create a vividly digital world of sound that seems to celebrate the worldliness, connectivity and shiny neon colours of early 2010s internet culture and social media. The up-pitched vocals and general auditory mania recall firmly Online musical trends like nightcore and vocaloid, while the beats pulse away, compelling you to dance like this is a house party and the best playlist ever assembled is on. It demands to be listened to at night with headphones, in a room lit only by your laptop screen.

“You hate everyone. To you everyone’s either a moron, or a creep or a poser. Why do you suddenly care about their opinion of you?” “Because I’m shallow, okay?! … I want them to like me.”

The fact that that Malcolm In The Middle quote is sampled at the emotional climax of this record should give some idea to the absurdity that defines Brave Little Abacus. It’s not even the only sample from the show on here. And yet the passion and urgency so evident in Adam Demirjian’s lispy singing and the band’s nostalgia-inducing, even cozy, melodies are made to stir feelings. The tearjerker chords and guitar progressions are so distinctive of emo bands with that special US-midwest melancholia, and they are interspersed with warm ambiance and playful sound effects ripped from TV and video games, seemingly vintage throwbacks to a sunny childhood. Demirjian’s lyrics, yelled out as if through tears or in the middle of a panic attack, verge on word salad in their abstraction, but that’s not the point: you can feel his small town loneliness and sense the trips he’s spent lost on memory lane. The combined effect all adds to Just Got Back’s themes of adolescence and the trauma of leaving it. While legendary in certain internet communities for this album and their 2009 masterpiece Masked Dancers, the band remains obscure to wider audiences.

These Danish punks know how to convey emotion through their raw and dramatic songs. Elias Rønnenfelt’s vocal presence and charisma cannot be ignored: his husky voice drawls, at times breaks, gasps for breath, builds up the deeply impassioned, intense force behind his words. The band sounds free and wild, unrestrained by a tight adherence to tempo, often speeding up, slowing down or straying from the vocals within the same song, as if playing live. Instrumentally the command over loud and quiet, tension and release, accentuates the vocals in crafting the album’s pace. Horns and saloon pianos throughout give the feel of a performance in a smoky, underground blues bar, with Rønnenfelt swaying onstage as he howls the romantic, distraught, heartbroken lyrics he truly believes in.

At some point on first listening to Death Grips, a thought along the lines of “He really yells like this the whole way through, huh?” probably crosses the mind. When Exmilitary first appeared, quietly uploaded to the internet, the rapper’s name and identity unknown, another likely reaction among listeners might have been “What am I even listening to?” But perhaps more revolutionary than Death Grips’ incredibly aggressive sound and style might have been its foreshadowing of how over the next decade underground rap acts would explode into the mainstream through viral songs, online word of mouth and memes. It showed all you needed to come from nowhere to the top of the game was to seize attention, and it did that and far more. MC Ride’s intoxicatingly crass, intense rapping captures the energy of a mosh pit where injuries happen, the barrage of sensations of a coke high, while the eclectic mix of rock and glitchy electronics on the instrumentals is disorienting in the best way. If rap were rock and this was 1977, Death Grips would have just invented punk. Ride’s lyrics paint a confrontational, hyper-macho persona; unlike much hip hop braggadocio, the overwhelming impression given is that Ride truly does not care what anyone thinks. He just goes hard and does not stop. It’s music to punch the wall to.

Inspired by classic rock operas, this concept album represents some major ambition and innovation in musical storytelling. Delivered in frontman Damian Abraham’s gravelly shouted vocals, the complex lyrical narrative of the album follows a factory worker, an activist and their struggle against the omnipotent author (Abraham himself) who controls their fates. Featuring devices like unreliable narrators and fourth-wall breaking, it takes some serious reading into to untangle. But it’s the bright guitarwork, combining upbeat punk rock and indie to create some killer riffs, that gives the album its furious energy and cinematic proportions.

Joanna Newsom is enchanted by the past. Like 2006’s ambitious Ys, the music on Divers makes this evident with its invocation of Western classical and medieval music, throwing antiquated instruments like clavichords together with lush string orchestration, woodwinds, organs, folk guitar and Newsom’s signature harp. With her soulful, moving vocals leading the way, it’s hard not to imagine her as some kind of Renaissance-era country woman contemplating nature, love and mortality in the fields and the woods. As always Newsom proves herself a stunningly original and creative arranger with the sheer compositional intricacy and flow of these songs, and most of all the harmonious intertwining of singing and instrumental backing.

Burial’s music is born from the London night: the bustle of the streets, the faint sounds from distant raves, the buskers, the rain on bus windows. This EP’s dreamlike quality makes listening to it feel like taking a trip across the city well after midnight, watching the lights go by, with no idea where you hope to get to. Every single sound and effect on these two songs is so precisely chosen, from the shifting and shuffling beats, the swelling synths and wordless vocals that sound like a club from a different dimension, the ambient hiss and pop of a vinyl record. Musically this sound is drawn from UK-based scenes like 2-step and drum ‘n bass, but twisted into such a moody and abstracted form as to be nearly unrecognisable as dubstep. Just when this urban, dismal sound is at its most oppressive, heavenly soul singers or organs cut through like a ray of light in the dark.

There’s an imaginary rulebook of how construct music, how to properly make tempos and combinations of notes sound harmonious, and Gorguts have spent their career ripping it up and throwing it in the bin. On 1998’s seminal Obscura, their atonal experimentation sounded at times like random noises in random order. But listen closely to Obscura or Colored Sands, their return after a long hiatus, and the method behind the madness emerges. One mark of great death metal is that it’s impossible to predict what direction it will go even a few seconds in advance, and the band achieves this while presenting a heavy, slow, momentous sound. The density of inspired riffs, and the intricate balancing of loud and quiet, fast and slow paced throughout these songs are exceptional. In instrumental sections the guitars will echo out as if across a barren plane, then the song will build up to the momentum of a freight train. Behind the crashing and twisting walls of guitar the patterns of blast beat drumming are almost mathematical in nature. Luc Lemay’s harsh bellows sound like a warlord’s cry or a pure expression of rage to the void. It’s threatening, menacing, unapproachable, but it all makes sense in the end.

Futuristic yet deeply retro, Blank Banshee’s music takes vaporwave beyond its roots in the pure consumerist parody of artists like Vektroid and James Ferraro and makes it actually sound amazing. Songs are built out of a single vocal snippet processed beyond recognition, new agey synthesisers, Windows XP-era computer noises, hilariously out of place instruments, all set to the 808 bass and hi-hats of hip-hop style beats. The genre’s pioneers intentionally sucked the soul from their music using samples pulled from 70s and 80s elevators, infomercials and corporate lounges - here the throwback seems to be to the early 2000s childhood of the internet, and the influence of a time when email and forums were revolutionary can be felt. The effect of this insanity is an album that whirls by like a techno-psychedelic haze: the atmosphere of dark trap beats places you squarely in a 2013 studio one moment, the next you’re surrounded by relaxing midi pianos and humming that a temple of new age practitioners would meditate to. Still, at some point when listening to this album, perhaps when the ridiculous steel drums kick in near the end, you realise that this is all to some degree a joke, and a funny one. It’s hard to overstate what an entertaining half-hour this thing is.

While 2012’s Good Kid, m.a.a.d City presented a movie in album form of Kendrick’s childhood and early adult years, TPAB’s journey is one of personal growth, introspection, and nuanced examination of the state of race in post-Ferguson America. It’s simultaneously the Zeitgeist for the US in 2015 and a soul-search in the therapist’s office. Sounding deeply vulnerable, he openly discusses depression, alcoholism, religion and feelings of helplessness. The White House and associated gangstas on the cover give some idea to the album’s political themes, with Lamar contrasting Obama’s presidency to the political powerlessness and lifelong ghetto entrapment of millions of black Americans. Everything I’ve written about the lyrics here really only scratches the surface because the words here are substantive, complex and dense with meaning. Near enough every bar can be analysed for multiple meanings and interpretations, essays can and have been written on the overall work, anything less does not do justice. The musical versatility on display is astounding: the album acts as an extravaganza of African-American music, from smooth west coast G-funk to east coast grit, neo-soul and rock to beat poetry, and most of all jazz. Like an expertly laid character arc the record progresses through its ideas in such a way that they’re all impactful, with the slurred rapping imitating a depressed drunken stupor followed later by exuberant, defiant cries of “I love myself!”, the white-hot rage against police brutality balanced by the hopeful mantra: “do you hear me, do you feel me, we gon be alright”. Perhaps the most culturally significant album of the 2010s and an essential piece of the hip-hop canon.

This harrowing hour chronicles the struggles and everyday tragedy of a series of characters and their relationship with the city they live in, narratively driven by some outstandingly poetic lyrics. Jordan Dreyer’s wordy tales despair at the poverty, gang violence and urban decay in the band’s native Grand Rapids, Michigan, an almost childlike open-hearted naivete in his words as he empathises with the broken and alienated people in these songs. There’s no jaded sneer or sly lesson to be learned as he sings about the child killed by a stray bullet or the homebird left alone after all their friends move away, just genuine second-hand sadness and a dream that compassion and community will eventually heal the pain. Taking elements from bands like At the Drive-In’s fusion of punk and progressive, and mewithoutyou’s shout-sung vocals, La Dispute hones its sound to a razor edge to put fierce instrumental power behind the lyrics. Not an easy listen, but a sharply written songbook and a perfect execution on its concept.

Around 2008, Joanna Newsom met comedian Andy Samberg. Within a year, their relationship was becoming the basis upon which the poetry of Have One on Me was spun. Newsom’s lyrics, exploring her relationship with her future-husband, nature, death, spirituality, are above all else loving. Through her warm and vibrant voice, at times an operatic trill and in others deeply soulful, she expresses the joy of love for another, the peace and earthly connection of her beloved pastoral lifestyle, deeply affecting melancholy and grief. Contemplative, artful, genuine or expressive: every lyric in every sweet melody is used to offer her ruminations on life or overflowings of passion.

More so than her previous and next albums, the feel of the album is of not just a folkloric past but also the present day, with drums, substantial brass and string arrangements, and even electric guitar anchoring the sound to Newsom’s real, not imaginary, life in the 21st century. Yet songs here with moods or settings evoking simpler lifestyles and the women living them in 1800s California or the Brontës’ English moors still have a universal relevance. Whether rooted in past of present, the instrumental variety of these compositions, from classical solo piano, grand orchestral arrangements led by harp, to the twang of country guitars or intricate vocal harmonising, makes it apparent that this is the work of a master songwriter in full command of well over a dozen talented musicians. Ultimately, what makes this my favourite album of the decade is that, very simply, it is one stunningly beautiful song after another, all collated into a cohesive 2-hour portrait of Newsom’s soul.

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lululawrence · 6 years ago

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so question for you: I suffer from really bad depression and ADHD. do you have any advice on how to write when i feel like not

oh man that is a gooooood question. okay so i can’t speak from the adhd side of things. i do have some focus issues due to my anxiety, but they are very much not the same thing so i don’t want to make it sound like i have experience there when i don’t. i’m going to mostly speak on the depression side of things, maybe touch on some things i do when i can’t focus, and then open it up to others who do write with adhd and see if they can give some things that help them and i sure hope that helps.

so for me, it’s a really rough balance of figuring out do i just not want to write or do i need to allow myself to be okay with not writing. is it a motivation issue due to my depression and/or my anxiety over the fact i have a LOT of other shit i need to be getting done that should actually be having the focus? or is it a i-don’t-have-anymore-spoons-to-give-so-i-literally-shouldn’t-write kind of thing? (if the spoons comment doesn’t make sense, check out the spoons metaphor here, it changed my world for trying to explain to others what it’s like living with mental health issues) sometimes it is really hard to figure out which is which, though. and sometimes i don’t know until i just push myself and try to do it.

so. if it’s a motivation issue (or i don’t know, so i try to push it and see if it is a motivation issue), that means i generally need to find outside motivation. for me a lot of that comes from deadlines. it’s why even if i’m not writing something for a fest or whatever, i give myself a sort of mental deadline. right now my mental deadline WAS to try to finish my tomlinshaw this week. allergies hit as did illness, so i’m going on almost four days of not writing which means that tomlinshaw is definitely not getting finished. but now my new goal is next week. i’m still gonna push myself pretty hard tonight and tomorrow to see how much i can get written because i really really do wanna stick with my original hope of having it done by this weekend, but we’ll see.

i’m putting the rest under a cut because DAMN this got long, i’m so sorry

sometimes, though, deadlines make you stress and don’t help you find motivation. so what then? that’s when i go to my writing peeps. i’ve got a large network now of completely supportive, amazing, kind, lovely writing friends who have gathered around each other and support each other. when i’m having a hard time writing or getting myself to write, i’ll go to them and be open about it. “hey, i’m trying to write and it isn’t working, wanna do a writing party?” or going to one of the group chats and saying, “i’m writing! who’s writing?” or “writing sprint! anyone in?” that way i know i’m gonna have to come back to them in a set amount of time and check back with the progress i made. for my leo self, i love and need them holding me accountable and then cheering when i come back and have actually written words. even if it’s only 20. they cheer anyway. because they know i need it to keep going. and if i have time, i try another 10 minutes/30 minutes/hour and check back then. find your people, and rely on them. they’ll help when things get really tough.

i think what it comes down to is figuring out for yourself what actually motivates you. inner motivation is HARD with depression which is part of the reason we have such issues with just getting our asses out of bed or into the shower more than once a month, right? like that’s just part of the deal. it shows differently with everyone, but simple things for others are crazy hard for us. so find what actually gets you writing, and utilize that. is it a reward? if you write for an hour you get to buy yourself a starbucks? or you get to eat that piece of cake in the fridge? or you get to watch that episode of ...i dunno, what’s cool right now? game of thrones? umbrella academy? something like that. or you get to pain your nails. you know, like literally anything. find that and harness that. sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. and that’s okay.

on the days i have a hard time focusing (which is most days, let’s be real), i have to take myself out of my usual environment because my usual environment is crazy busy, crazy disorganized, and overall noisy as hell. plus if i don’t i constantly have my parents/partner/children begging me to do something with or for them and that isn’t conducive to writing. so i get out of the house. i go to the library where it’s quiet and not much distraction, or to a starbucks that i know isn’t quite so busy or has really nice writing nooks in it. just someplace i’m comfortable that is easy access and allows me to just shut down to everything outside the computer. i tell my friends i’m writing, and then i shut down everything. i close the tumblr windows, i shut down whatsapp, i even turn my phone onto dnd mode. and for those thirty minutes i write.

it sounds counter productive to give myself more time to write when i’m having focus issues, you’d think shorter windows work better, but with my own personal experience as well as my experience with my husband and daughter who both also have adhd, i’ve learned that the focus issues mainly come from . having a hard time GETTING focused. if we’re truly interested in something, then once our focus has been grabbed, we can (sometimes) keep it there. so go for a medium time length. give yourself that buffer time where it’s gonna be hard for you to even get your mind into the fic game. that way when you check in, you’ll have given yourself enough time to spend fifteen minutes just trying to remember what fic you’re writing and where you’re writing at within that fic and you’ll still have fifteen more to get words down before checking back in.

i know some people also do “song challenges” where they’ll put a song on and write for the length of the song and then stop when the song ends and see how far they got, if they like it, etc. there’s others who write for ten minute increments and then go on to do something else because longer than that just isn’t possible.

basically. this is a very very long winded way of saying just keep trying. don’t give up. but also, if you try everything and it’s just not working for you that day? that’s okay. the fic will still be there later. don’t stress it! it’s there to be fun and enjoyed.

whew. i’m so sorry this ended up so long, but i hope it helps. good luck, i can’t wait to celebrate you publishing those fics that are so hard to actually get written! you’re amazing. xxxxx

#opinions #i'm so sorry this is so long guys #writing stuff #personal experience #my head is an allergy cloud too so that doesn't help #Anonymous #asks #mine

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scrambledthoughtz · 6 years ago

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what i could do better on

1) i could be spending my time better. i feel like, as of late, i’ve been wasting more and more of the time that makes up each of my days. i get distracted so easily. i come home from school or work, and i spend hours and hours on youtube, watching random shit. four out of my five school days, i don’t get home until 5 pm or a little after, and you’d think that this limited amount of time would spur me into productivity. that’s what i thought too, but usually when i get back, i end up laying on my bed and draining my energy even more by spending hours on youtube or facebook. i feel like i’m significantly less motivated than i was last semester, and i’m not sure if this is a sign of burnout, if i’m depressed (lol probably not?), or if my study habits are just spiraling and i’m becoming more lazy. i have this mindset where it’s okay if i don’t start my work until later bc i don’t need to sleep. as long as i get it done before 11:59. as long as i get it done before the deadline, even if that means finishing it in the morning. yesterday, i had a whole collection of assignments due at 11:59 and i actually waited until 11 pm to start one of them. earlier this week, i submitted my essay at 11:57 and i spent until 11:50 typing up the conclusion. it’s crazy, bc “past” me would have finished my essay early to make time for revisions or proofreading. this time, i didn’t even care; i was typing up my conclusion for the first time 10 minutes before the essay was due. it’s weird to think about this comparison, but in my first semester, i literally went to mission coffee after my class ended, and i took out a sticky note and i wrote down EXACTLY how much time i would spend on each assignment to make sure that i was sufficiently alternating between getting things done. i would carve out an hour to type up my english 101c reflection responses, and then i would take a 15 minute break to go on my phone, and then i would start another subject and then i would alternate and it was so freaking efficient. nowadays, i just trust that i will get it done, even if it means putting minimal effort into my work. as long as it’s submitted.

2) going off of that, i could control my impulses better. what do i mean by that? it’s honestly pretty difficult to put into words. this is something i’ve actually never spoken about, which is weird bc most facets of my life i’ve attempted to put into words and talk about at least once. anyways, what i mean by impulses is that i’ve been more frequently getting the urge to watch videos that make me feel a certain type of way. it’s not quite like porn, but these videos are more intimate and raw, and usually when i’m watching them, they evoke a deep aching within me that spreads like a crackling electricity that numbs me in the best way possible. i usually do this before i go to sleep or right after i wake up bc it’s such a pleasant sensation, but as of late, i’ve been more frequently waking up in the middle of the night (i think it’s bc i usually forget to turn the lights off before i go to sleep, or it’s bc i decided to take a nap instead of studying and the anxiety wakes me up or bc i spend an obscene amount of time staring at a bright screen before i go to sleep). but i’ve started watching these videos when i wake up in the middle of the night too, and it’s honestly something that has been taking up so much of my time. i get these urges and they’re hard to resist, so i lay down on my bed and get into the zone and hours can pass by without me caring. i recognize that this is starting to sound erotic lmfao but it’s the best way that i can put it for now. i’m sure i’ll get better at putting this into words later.

i do wonder though: am i getting these urges bc i’m craving physical touch? this is something that’s been on my mind a lot lately. i haven’t really had solid physical touch for a while. the most physical contact i get and receive is an awkward hug or an occasional handshake. i keep telling myself that the last real time was with mom bc she would hug and hold me when i was upset, or she’d gently brush my hair back. honestly, this is probably the main reason i would be okay with having a romantic partner. it’s not bc of pressure from friends or family, but it’s to have that level of physical intimacy.

3) lastly (for now). stop with the self-pity. you need to get yourself together. i got a C on my geography midterm this past week, and the first thing that came to my mind was, “it’s okay, you’re probably going through something bc normally, you wouldn’t get such a bad grade on an exam.” i need to stop thinking like that. when i come home and spend hours on youtube, i tell myself that it might be bc i’m subconsciously going through something. but that might not even be true, and even if it is, it doesn’t make this excusable. i feel bad for myself way too often, and even worse, i expect others to feel the same level of understanding or pity. if only they knew about mom, they would let me off easy. this fact about me has become this type of secret weapon that i’ve told myself that i can wield at any time. but in reality, that doesn’t make it okay for me to fuck around instead of spending time on my classes, and it doesn’t make it okay for me to be getting lower grades on my exams and assignments just bc i procrastinated.

you can’t expect everyone to have sympathy. even if they did know about mom, they might not give a shit. other ppl have gone through worse, but they’re still doing well at school. you’re super privileged, and this one sad fact about you doesn’t change that. at least you get to come home from school every day to food on the table, and you can still ask your dad to pay you back for groceries and gas. you have a job, but you don’t actually need it bc your dad is supporting you with his income. you need to get out of your bubble. you expected your dad to pay for your car accident, and you were shocked when he said, “you were the one who got into the accident, don’t you think you should pay for it?” and he’s right, you know? you can’t be recklessly spending money every time you get stressed. that’s just another part of your self-pity cycle. you tell yourself that it’s okay to spend $2 on a granola bar at the vending machine bc you forgot to pack a snack and you were stressed about the fact that you failed your geography midterm. you expect your dad to pay you back for your purchases, when in reality, you should be taking responsibility and keeping a budget and making sure that you don’t eat out too much with friends or spend too much on coffee every time you can’t focus at home and go out to a coffee shop to study.

you’re being irresponsible, lazy, and your self-pitying is getting out of control. get yourself together.

you know, even as i’m typing this, it’s not hitting me for real. these are just words that are my thoughts, but i’m not actually internalizing them. it’ll probably hit for real when i transfer and move away, but i honestly want to get a grip of these things before then.

#personal

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goodlucksyrr · 2 years ago

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8Keys To Managing Your Mental Health When Starting A Business

it can be challenging to focus on vital things like your health when you are in the midst of building a business. Many founders and startups forget about their mental health because they want to make everything perfect, no matter what it takes.We constantly hear about mental health in the news. People are depressed, anxious, and not happy with their life. Because of this, we must seriously tackle this problem and take action. Depression, anxiety, and mood disorders provoke burnout and become a toxic element within a company’s culture.Here are 8 keys to managing your mental health when starting a business:

1. Your Mind & Body Are Interconnected

Mental, emotional, and physical health are deeply interconnected. Just as mental health problems can lead to alcohol and substance abuse, lack of exercise or a poor diet can cause depression and loss of focus. Gaining ten extra pounds is just as real for a founder when starting a business as a freshman because of the stress due to tests and exams.

2. Why Priorities Are Better Than Your Objectives?

As a rule, founders are wholly devoted to their calendars and task lists. Unfortunately, the task list is just a reminder of the myriad of tasks that still need to be done. For most of us, the list of tasks is endless. This is an excellent recipe for an unbearable and uncontrollable load for your psyche.The definition of anxiety is when we feel our ability to achieve results is suppressed by current tasks. This is inevitable when the assignments are poorly formulated, too large, or don’t have a number.Instead of a list of tasks, switch to a list of priorities for the day, which includes only urgent and important tasks at the same time. It may be more challenging to complete these tasks, but the satisfaction of completing them will not be compared with anything.

3. Vacation is Important

Founders need to consciously take a vacation with a digital detox to disconnect from work. If the founder cannot disconnect on his own even during the holidays, try traveling where it is impossible to be in touch regularly. Burnout is rarely suspected due to failures in parsing failed startups, but the trained eye will often find its effect on the decline of the company.

4. Meditation is The Right Source for New Ideas

The founders must include physical activity in their routine and monitor their diet. Yoga, meditation, or breathing practices are beneficial. Take time to try these different practices.

Write about what you are grateful for (it helps you to remain appreciative), why you feel stressed (the solution is more natural when you pour problems onto paper), how you grew up in a day (small victories) and then make a to-do list. This helps to focus and find balance if you like to meditate.

5. The Wrong Diet May Destroy You

With a wave of new products, foods, drinks, nootropics, it is easier than ever to include vital vitamins and nutrients in your diet. Try foods that are full of nutrients and have minimal side effects.

6. Social Cooperation and Health

Some of you are so lost in your projects that you forget about life outside of the business. Find time for friends, loved ones, children, and even animals. Remember, it is not the amount of time, it’s the quality.Understand your “hot” and “cold” zones at work. By doing so, you can plan your day to work in a convenient way for you. Make sure to also allocate time for social activities. Professionals always know how to organize any business or plan by working efficiently and not just a lot.

7. Always Be Informed to Avoid Mental Health Issues

Learn about signs of depression and burnout. Drowning people do not wave their hands and do not shout for help – they silently go underwater. Only trained rescuers usually notice trouble. The same thing happens with depression, as these people don’t usually spend time in endless complaints or sadness.

The following symptoms should

alert you:

A constant feeling of pessimism.

Sad or anxious mood.

Changes in behavior or loss of interest in activities that previously brought pleasure.

Changes in diet and meal times.

Changes in sleep time.

Irritability.

8. Change Your Activities

If you’re used to working with what’s called your head, it will be beneficial for you to go to the gym. While it’s not always possible to be at the gym, it will be enough to water the flowers, move the chairs, or take a quick step along the corridor. It is essential to switch from one activity to another whenever you feel that stress is returning. If stress has caught you on the bus, get off at the nearest stop and walk for 10-15 minutes.

Creating a business is a difficult task because of the mental, physical, and emotional toll it can take on you. At the same time, our ecosystem is toxic, and dozens of factors contribute to making building a company even more difficult. There are real steps that each of you can take to begin eliminating this toxicity.How do you manage your mental health and ensure you don’t overly stress? Share your ideas with us below.

Source: Addicted2Success

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g12abm6g1sy2122 · 3 years ago

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“The Good & The Bad: How Social Media Affected Me as a Gen Z Individual”

The good thing is that it affects our emotional well-being. We're ready to leave it to reduce some stress and problems and can let our emotions show on social media. It can help us find and have conversations with our friends and family that are far away from us. We can talk to them using apps, and you can share your problems and get feedback from them. The bad thing is that it is detrimental to our health. Social media now has a lot of problems for you, or should we say, judgmental and body-shaming. Posting something on social media can make your friends insecure, but not all of them. That's why we need to think before we post because we don't even know that we hurt other people or that it affects the health of others. -”Mery Joy Hernaiz” As we all know, Social media is a quite popular tool for communication that allows people to connect despite distances. As a student and a Gen Z individual, Social media affects us positively. It provides education and accurate information to students that are not able to go to school because of the pandemic. It allowed us to keep up with what was going on in the world as well as be educated with contemporary issues. It also provides entertainment and a whole new realm of possibilities and opportunities in general. However, despite having a lot of positive effects, Social media is very harmful to everyone. The excessive use of Social media will negatively affect students’ academic performances as well as their health. Gen Z’s are very exposed to social media and always tend to believe what was written on the internet that may lead to distractions, peer pressure, addictions, and physical and mental health. Social media has both positive and negative effects, excessive usage of anything is bad, and social media is no exception. As Gen Z individuals and a student, we should balance our academic performance, social media use, and physical and mental health. -”Jeraline Jumawan” As a part of generation Z, I spent most of my time on social media. When I have a bad feeling or am in a bad mood, I go to social media platforms such as Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, Messenger, and YouTube. Going through the news feed, watching movies or listening to music, and chatting or video calling with my friends and relatives could help me release my stress over whatever I'm dealing with, especially during this epidemic. The good impact of social media on me as an individual is that it allows me to learn about things I didn't know and things I want to learn more about, however, we all know that not everything we see on social media is real or factual, so we shouldn't put all of our trust in any of it. When I see a lot of people sharing and posting harsh or disrespectful statements to someone on social media, it bothers me. It might lead someone to be hurt or suffer from depression and anxiety. So, in whatever we do, we must be kind and sensitive. -”Jesca Heart Chan” Social media are Websites and programs that emphasize on communication, community-based input, engagement, content-sharing, and collaboration. Individuals rely on social media to keep in touch with friends, family, and other members of their communities. Businesses utilize social media to market and promote their products, as well as to keep track of client complaints. As a Gen z the impact of Social media for me depends on the person using it whether he will use it in the right or wrong way. When it used in the right way the effect and results are good. If it is used in the wrong way, the effect and the result will be bad. So we should all know how to use it properly and not use it badly. If you can ask for advice or guidance from an older person or someone who knows how to use it. We must also know its limit as an individual. Use Social Media wisely -”Daniela May Cariaga” Social media has many positive effects on Generation Z. According to a study, social media has helped some Gen Z members boost their self-esteem. They can use social media platforms to flaunt their talents and skills, as well as the things they can't do in front of others. However, it also has negative effects, some Gen Z members claimed that social media made them sad, anxious, or depressed, and even gave them a sense of insecurity, and made them feel left out. -”Jimboy Bachanicha”

#jimboybachanicha #danielamayc #jeralinejumawan #jhchan-g12-abm6 #yenbandoquillo #mery-joy #aimeabarquez

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tangent101 · 7 years ago

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Okay. Thoughts on Farewell.

First, the non-spoiler thoughts. I’ll put Spoilers below the cut so not to ruin anything for folk. Because seriously, that’s hella not cool. I’ve been spoilered somewhat with images that are floating around and yes, I understand people have been really into this. But you know something? People have to work. People have to wait for internet downloads or to get on their good computer or get home from school. And these images? These little teasers? Not cool.

Yes, I could have avoided the Web. The problem is... I’ve got anxiety. I’ve struggled with depression. And hey, I’m also a bitch who will tell folk off but mostly being online is a means of expressing myself. A lot of us are here to express ourselves... and to vent and to connect with others, and more. And being on here can be a safety valve. It can let us calm down. So yeah, we could “avoid the internet” but when that becomes stressful?

That’s why we ask for no spoilers. It’s why I’ve been so glad there wasn’t a trailer this time around. I wanted to see this with fresh eyes. Ah well. Now I’ll talk directly about Farewell, but put it behind a cut so that only folk who deliberately look will see what I have to say. There be spoilers behind this cut. Be warned.

I had problems with the very premise of this. This problem dragged me out of the game. The kicker is that ultimately this was all for naught, but as @destiny-smasher put it, Deck Nine chose to constrain things with the time-line just to hit people with a gut-punch ending. It wasn’t necessary. It was essentially showing us Rachel in the Dark Room at the end of Before the Storm and was sadism in writing. I say this as a writer who puts my characters through hell. If I torment readers it’s by not updating frequently enough, not by being deliberately cruel.

Naturally this whole thing is Max’s dilemma on telling Chloe she was moving in three days. Seriously. How the fuck could Max’s parents think it was a good thing to make their daughter tell her best friend they were moving? Further, how could Chloe’s parents agree to go along with this? The mere premise of Max having to tell Chloe bothered me so much I paused the game for hours. I was tempted to say “fuck it” and not play. My nerves did not need this level of bullshit.

@destiny-smasher did give me a small spoiler as I had been grousing to them about the game saying it’s explained at the end, but also said the timing was forced. And yes. I fully agree. The timing was forced. It was about creating a sense of emotion and sadness for characters that we are most likely not going to see again outside of fanfics and fanfilms.

The “adventure” that Max and Chloe went on was the one fun bit. If Deck Nine just chose to put this adventure as Max and Chloe having fun during the summer then it would have been fine! Sure, we’d not find out Chloe was being bullied at Blackwell and we’d not have had yet. another. fucking. funeral. but you know? I think it would have been worth it.

This is not to say Farewell was bad. Once they fix the goddamn controller issue (seriously, I prefer playing this type of game using a controller, so disabling the controller was hella annoying) I’ll likely play it again. And as much as I felt the ending was forced with everything tossed in after Max’s time-jump, I was touched by the tape recording that Max left for Chloe. (And I will admit I was amused that one thing I thought of that could “bring Max and Chloe together” (MMORPGs) was an idea Max had as well!) So I’m left wondering.

What the fuck happened to Max?

This is the girl who said “we can write and it’ll be like I’m still here.” She was talking about having Chloe visit. Just what the hell happened to Max that she just stopped talking to Chloe? (What would have happened if Chloe had actually sent one of those letters? I mean... Max contemplated writing letters as well. It might have actually have broken through her anxiety and paralysis.)

Looking at what was happening to Chloe... I have to wonder if one of my theories was on the ball. Maybe Max was bullied as well. She might have not wanted to tell Chloe because Chloe had it worse! She’d lost her dad! If Max talks about how Seattle is hell then why would Chloe want to talk? Wouldn’t Max sound like all she does is complain?

*sigh* I can understand Max’s mindset.

As for Farewell? It was a puff piece. The story served no purpose. It was meant to entertain and let people play as Max again. But it would have been better if they had taken more time and had a story with real impact. I’m not talking fake choices like “Tell Rachel” or “Lie to Rachel” but stuff related to their friendship and where it was going, even back when they were young teens.

So. No tears were shed. I did sniffle once, but not because I was teary-eyed. Mostly I was anxious. It wasn’t until the second half of the game after Max and Chloe were out of her bedroom that I started relaxing and starting to enjoy myself. And sadly much of that was done without Chloe. That perhaps is the saddest thing about Farewell.

Here we had a story about Max and Chloe... and they were apart through so much of it. Chloe was busy cleaning. Chloe was getting the telescope while Max looked for the amulet. They should have gone into the attic together and bantered with each other and had fun together. Even near the end after the time capsule is unearthed, Chloe ends up on the sofa sketching while Max looks at things alone. The letters to each other were left for the player to read rather than the characters teasing out each point.

There was so much potential here. And it was lost. That may be an apt description for the entirety of “Before the Storm.” It had so much potential that was squandered. So... Farewell lives up to the parent game. Its one benefit is that at least it didn’t leave me completely infuriated as the second half of Chapter Three left me.

In the past I mentioned how it would be fun to see “Life is Strange: Storm Warnings” from Rachel’s point of view. I’ve changed my mind on that. I don’t want Deck Nine to touch another Life is Strange product. They can tell their won stories. They can do their own thing. But leave LiS alone. Let it rest in pieces.

#life is strange: farewell #lis: farewell #lis: bts #lis: before the storm #life is strange: before the storm #life is strange #max and chloe #young chloe price #young max caulfield #william price #rachel amber #deck nine games #my posts

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