#but still couldn’t go on and I read it again last night

[simpjaes]

✘ WIP DIARY ── LAST NIGHT, I READ YOUR DIARY. (p.sh) ✘

Sunghoon has been trying be everything you need since your mother passed. A father, a friend, a therapist. You never really understood what your mother saw in him in the first place, if you’re being honest. He’s awkward, quiet, and typically used to keep to himself up until now. You’re impressed with his efforts by the time you’re entering into your senior year of college, though his entire demeanor towards you seems to have changed.  or the one where your step-father grows obsessed with you minute by minute. 

── step-dad /weirdo park sunghoon x afab reader  

── minors dni

── tags: sunghoon is in his 30s, reader is in her 20s so, age gap, step-cest, heartbreak, obsession, manipulation, coercion, stockholm syndrome-ish, fluff if he manipulates you as a reader lmfao, angst, smut. don't read this if you are easily triggered. ── side characters: heeseung as reader's ex boyfriend, jay as reader's closest friend

── !WARNINGS!: this work contains non-con, dub-con, and stalking behavior. your mom isn’t alive in this fic. warnings will be updated as i write.

── a/n: this one is gonna be a wild ride, that's all i gotta say.

LAST UPDATED: 12.22.24

⨯ est wordcount: 20k+ ⨯ current wordcount: 5.4k ⨯ est release date: tbd ⨯ taglist: my tag list is now closed due to the length.

playlist ⨯ recommended song: last night i read your diary - gürl She's got me down on my knees I beg, I beg, I, I beg, I beg, please! I want it more than I need And I need it like I need to breathe Like I'm losing my- Choke.

PREVIEW (3.1k):

no warnings apply to the preview, it's just the first couple of thousand words for this fic. aka, the intro and the set up for what will inevitably happen later:

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Your first heartbreak is meant to be painful, but this? This is more painful than you could have ever imagined. 

Heeseung was one of your only constants in life. From childhood to high school it’s like he was there more than your own mother was, and certainly more than your own father. Even when she passed, Heeseung was the one who held you through it, he’s the one who made you smile again, he’s the one who made you feel like it was okay to heal and keep going. 

It’s the fact that it was a mutual break up that hurts the most because deep down, you couldn’t see yourself without him. Yet, still, you willingly watched him hop on the plane with a short kiss and long goodbye. It felt so final to you. You could have handled a long distance relationship, truly. But Heeseung didn’t want that. He wanted to explore the world, he wanted to try new things, be with new people. 

Do things without you clinging to him all the time. 

In a way, you understand that. After all, you’re the only girl he had ever been with up until now. Senior year of college. You think you knew your relationship was coming to an end by the time he announced he was going to be studying abroad for his final year without ever once even telling you he was applying to do so. 

So, yeah, it was mutual solely because you want him to be happy and he’s made it clear that he believes that can only happen without you. Such is life. Painful, painful fucking life.  

Just last year when your mother passed, you nearly dropped out and Heeseung had been your rock to make it through class after class with a grade barely high enough to pass. You’re certain some of your professors took pity on you and raised your grade just enough to move forward. You’ll forever thank them for recognizing how hard you were trying. But now? Without your mother, without Heeseung, you’re at a loss.

And there’s a difference between loneliness and isolation, you think. Loneliness to you always hits hard during small spaces in your day, like when you’d get into Heeseung’s car and he would close your door for you. The silence always hurt your ears while he was still making his way around the car to the driver’s seat. A shallow loneliness that you could feel right at the top of your gut, like it was squeezing inside of you and making you lose your appetite. Solely because that silence reminded you of what you always had, a lack of loneliness because of him.

But then there’s isolation. Where it feels forced upon you by other people. Your mother fucking died, Heeseung fucking left, and now you’re just here expected to wake up like you always do, go to class, study hard, sleep well, when the reality of it is– you’re genuinely struggling just to look at yourself in the mirror. 

Then there’s Sunghoon. The only person close enough to you now that you can reach out to. The issue with that is– you’ve never actually been close. And that’s what sucks. The fact that he of all people is all you have now? May as well just assume you have nobody.

His regular calls mean close to nothing to you in the grand scheme of things. Despite him calling twice a week every week since your mother died, your step-father is just as distanced from you as you are him. You’re aware that it’s his obligation, not because he cares. And that hurts, because it’s all you have now. 

Now, you have to try and find meaning in those short calls. After all, Sunghoon fell apart when your mother passed all on his own and you had only called him out of obligation too. You were already in college and stressed, falling apart yourself with someone to love beside you helping you through it. Calling him when it all happened felt empty because you knew both of you were trying to hold it together and save face. 

It wasn’t like this before she died. In fact, he never called and you never cared for him to. You’d see each other when you were home, share awkward pleasantries, and that’s it. It’s hard to believe that now you feel like you need a father, after all those years of practically rejecting him as one. He seemed fine with that after you hit your teen years. He knew by then that he could never be the father you want, but at least he could be the husband your mother needed.

You have grief in common now though. Loneliness. Isolation.

You try not to think about how you were okay up until now though. Having Heeseung to fall back on to soften the blow of your loss, you guess Sunghoon didn’t have that. Maybe his monotone voice and empty words were his way of coping, his way of hearing a voice that wasn’t the one in his own head when he calls you. 

It’s just you and a man you never considered family past the titles and obligatory respects. Finding meaning in his short phone calls does nothing to help your growing isolation, but you cling to them now that Heeseung is gone. You wait for the calls, you ask him to check in with you every day now, to the point Sunghoon starts to notice the difference in you.

No longer rushing to get off the phone. Now, you’re dragging on meaningless conversations. Now, he hears cracks in your voice. 

“You feeling okay?” Sunghoon asks you, in a way that makes you wonder how he’s able to tell that you’re definitely not. The way his own voice has a bit of life to it when he asks it…strange too. Like he’s concerned. 

“No–” You trail off in your meek voice, staring at your ceiling and mind swirling with all of the work you need to get done for classes already. “I’ve only been in classes for a week and I already feel like I’m drowning.” 

Sunghoon sighs into the speaker, contemplating how to further the conversation with you in a way that isn’t too intrusive. After all, who is he to pry? Still, he never intended for you to feel neglected or like you couldn’t come to him. After all, you were too happy about his lack of parenting you throughout his presence in your life. 

He finds solace in the fact that you’ve been accepting him now, though he hasn’t the slightest idea as to why. He’s checked in with you since the passing, but lately it feels to him like something more is going on with you. He may be somewhat estranged, and he may have his own problems to deal with, but you’re still someone he needs to be here for.

Plus, it makes him feel needed again, which is nice considering the circumstances. After living in this bustling house with you and your mom for so long, to it just being him and your mom, to now just him…all that remains now is dread, dissociation, and unwashed dishes in the sink.

“Did something happen?” Sunghoon keeps his questions short, offering more silence if anything for you to use this call as a therapy session if you need. 

You pause for a long moment, realizing that you want to talk about your issues so badly but don’t quite feel the need to share it with him of all people. You’ve already ranted day after day to Jay. To the point you’re sure he’s about one rant away from blocking your number. 

Probably because you’re not that close to him either. Not these days, anyway.

You sigh instead. 

“No…” You trail off. “I think I just miss being home. My dorm mate is never here, class work is already piling up, and I can’t even find the energy to look at the assignments.” 

Sunghoon can tell you’re feeling much like he does and he can’t imagine the weight on your shoulders dealing with these feelings while also in college. But, you have Heeseung, do you not? You’ve been fine for the most part until now, and you haven’t even brought him up. Not once in the past few weeks has his name been uttered by you. Which is strange, after all, the two of you were practically attached at the hip growing up, to the point of choosing the same college, working the same jobs, and even keeping that middle-school puppy love in full swing throughout highschool and college. 

If anything, after your mother passed, Sunghoon felt okay knowing you had Heeseung there with you to help you through it. It meant he could focus on himself and getting through the day-to-day. He could barely handle his own mournful thoughts, let alone the daughter’s feelings of the woman he loved so dearly. He was forever grateful for Heeseung during this time. 

He has his suspicions now though, and his heart aches for the voice he hears from you these days. 

“Why don’t you come home for a while?” He lends a pause to see if you’ll jump for the opportunity before selling the idea to you. “I have the bills here covered and your campus is only a forty minute drive. I’m sure that’s inconvenient but you won’t have bills to worry about on top of everything else.” He doesn’t want to sound too desperate, of course. 

After all, the loneliness he’s feeling is also becoming unbearable. Even if the two of you never were able to see eye to eye, or to form a bond together, you’re all he has left of your mother. He, arguably, is nothing to you, but there’s no one else in this world he’d rather heal the loneliness with outside of you. Only because you knew your mother on a level deeper than he did, and to have someone to share those memories with, or even laugh with, would help him tremendously too.

“I think being at home may do you some good.” 

You think it over in your head, wondering if being home will help you at all. In reality, you know it may make you feel more trapped than you do now. All those memories with your mother, with Heeseung, with all of your friends that have since moved to different colleges. 

But…you wouldn’t be alone. You’d be with someone who knows how to give you space because he’s never even tried to shrink your existence to that of your bedroom and your bedroom alone. You wouldn’t have to worry about rent, food, or anything aside from studies, gas money, and trying to heal from your heartbreak. 

Your dorm is small, you note as you look around the room and wonder how long it would take you to pack your things up. Two hours, give or take. The longest part would be taking all of the little decorations off the wall, if you’re being honest. 

You find yourself nodding before answering, solidifying in your mind that– maybe you’re not the only one who needs company in your space. Not too close, but close enough to not be totally isolated. 

“Okay.” You mutter into the phone, for some reason feeling the tears well up behind your eyes. 

You’re just a bit overwhelmed, that’s all. Knowing you’re going home feels like a relief you didn’t know you needed. 

“Yeah?” Sunghoon confirms. “Just let me know when and I’ll drive up there to help get your stuff back home.” 

You agree, sighing into the phone with a shaking voice. Sunghoon takes note of it, always remembering and quite frankly missing how loud and obnoxious you used to be. Hearing you like this pains him. He wants to help. Now more than ever is his chance to be someone you need, and he hates knowing he feels happy about it. 

Getting to be your father now? It feels awkward, but at least it’s a feeling other than loss. 

“You know you can talk to me, right?” Sunghoon sighs at you through the speaker. “I know I’m not someone you like coming to but–well, I’d like for you to rely on me more, okay?” 

You find a lot of comfort in those words, despite hearing him say them time and time again. This is the first time he’s ever shown that he means it through the offer of bringing you home, rather than just saying it and accepting whatever you say back to him at face value. 

“I know…” You trail off. “I’m okay though, really.” 

Sunghoon hates himself for never forcing you to accept him. Sure, there may have been some teenage defiance towards him, but eventually the two of you could have seen eye to eye. He could have been someone you needed. You could have relied on him too, rather than just Heeseung. That’s all he can really think right now. 

“Are you sure there’s nothing else going on?” The man nearly pleads in his tone, desperate to have someone rely on him again. “I’ve never heard you sound so exhausted before, I can’t help but worry.”

You’d tell him, but honestly, what grown ass man wants to hear about a first heartbreak? It would just get awkward again, he’d just feel obligated to do something about it, and worse, he might end up feeling like he’s supposed to dislike Heeseung now. 

You choose to remain silent in the final straw that broke your back this semester. 

“Really, I’m just tired.” You nod to yourself as you hold your phone loosely against your ear. “I might not go to class tomorrow and just pack instead. I’ll just call you when I’m ready, is that okay?”

Sunghoon smiles to himself, wanting to mean something to you in a way that can hopefully help you out of this slump. Your mother would be throwing a fit if she heard how you’ve been sounding, he can’t help but take over that role and try to make damn sure you are okay. 

“That’s fine,” Sunghoon confirms. “I’ll call and let them know what’s going on so don’t worry about any of that. Just get yourself ready to come back home.” 

You find yourself smiling, relieved that you don’t have to be the one to contact your school and tell them that…well, you’re breaking your student-lease, dropping your food plan, and need to be reimbursed for partial tuition costs since Sunghoon insists every semester that you purchase tuition insurance. You should no longer be charged to live on campus, or for the facilities within the dorm. 

Knowing you’ll at least get back a couple thousand dollars is a nice change of pace, and already you’re feeling weirdly excited to go back to a space that will likely make you miss your mother more. It’ll hurt, but at least you won’t be alone anymore. 

The forty minute drive to campus feels less horrifying now, and maybe your friends will still come and hang out with you in your actual home rather than a tiny dorm. 

“Sounds good.” You say, as if to end the call before you mutter out again. “Thank you, by the way. Sunghoon, really.” 

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Sunghoon knew he was spiraling further and further into his loneliness. He knew it wasn’t healthy either, but now. Oh, now he realizes just how bad it’s gotten as he demonizes himself upon picking you up. 

You haven’t come home since your mother’s funeral, and even on that day he barely remembers what you looked like. Eye contact was never a thing for him, but looking at you now, he sees how much you’ve matured since you went off to college. 

Your once bright, excited eyes have turned dull and empty. The bags under them are heavy from lack of sleep. Your lips appear to be in a permanent state of pouting, though he isn’t sure if you’ve noticed. You appear to have lost weight, which is concerning for him of course, but…there’s something else about you.

Something that sits in the pit of his stomach and rots.

“Uh–” You cough, noting the way Sunghoon looks at you as you try to hand him a large box. “Thank you for helping me move my stuff back…” 

Sunghoon snaps out of his thoughts, grabbing a heavy box and then waiting for you to stack another on top. 

“No big deal,” He mutters, feeling the weight in his hands double as he prepares to carefully carry your things out to his car. “You haven’t come home in over a year, but I’ve fixed up your room for you and went ahead and connected my gaming system in there.”

You nod quietly, feeling awkward for how fatherly he seems.

“Thanks…” You trail off, flopping a pile of your things into his trunk before stopping to look at him. “You look like shit.”

Sunghoon furrows his brows, noticing for a split second how that facial expression you made is very similar to one his wife used to throw at him when he’d have hair out of place, or a wardrobe malfunction. And then he smiles. 

“You’re not looking too good yourself.” He jokes back.

You smile back at him, feeling a bit of the awkward air fizzle away. 

“Well, I’m not doing well, so.” 

You were continuing the joke, but his face falls before yours does. 

“You can talk to me–” He starts.

“I know, I know.” You wave him off. “I’ll feel a lot better once we get back and I can settle in.

There’s a nod from him now, and then silence as the two of you continue to put the rest of your belongings into both his car and your own. 

“Well, I guess I’ll see you in a bit?” You say now, awkwardly.

Sunghoon nods, looking you over once again.

“See you in a bit.” 

   ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Shame.

Pure fucking shame. 

Sunghoon knew he needed another presence in this house but upon seeing you again, he knew it may have been a mistake. 

He likes to think of himself as level headed. He’s never gotten into any trouble, never had a stray thought, never cheated, lied, or stole anything. He can’t think of a single thing that he’s done in life to be considered taboo.  But looking at you feels…incorrect?

Indecent? 

You’re his step-daughter for fuck sake but it’s the fact that you don’t feel like you are. When he looks at you, he just sees another person. He did this to help you, he did this to feel needed, to be your fucking father. 

He did not do this to look at you this way or to feel his eye stray even without his intention.

Why do you look so much like her? Why do you do that thing with your pinky when you carry things like she did? You even have a similar smell, probably having picked up on your mother’s habits throughout childhood. 

You being here…It’s like she’s still here. Except it’s you, and he can’t be thinking this way. 

 ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

This fic will be dark, very taboo, morally bad. Not a grey area, it is blatantly bad. sunghoon will do bad things. Please be aware of your own triggers once it's completed and posted. remember that I write within my own triggers, not yours. That being said! Please do show lots of love if this is a fic you're interested in reading! If you want to be tagged, I have a permanent tag list, there are not any separate tag lists for individual fics so keep that in mind.  ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

[khioneee]

simon acts as santa for your kid.

he was supposed to be the stoic, no-nonsense one. yet here he was, fully committed to the role of santa claus, going above and beyond for your child during the holiday season.

simon took the elf situation very seriously. every night after your child went to bed, he’d sneak around, setting up elaborate scenes. sometimes the elf was ‘caught’ stealing cookies from the jar, with crumbs left strategically on the counter. other times, it was perched on a stack of books with a tiny note saying, ‘reading helps santa know who’s good!’

in the mornings, he’d watch with a barely contained grin as your kid ran through the house, excitedly searching for the elf. the look of pure wonder on their face was worth every second of effort.

‘make sure santa knows what you want,’ he’d say, guiding your child to stick their wishlist on the fridge. of course, simon would ‘check it’ later, leaving behind a trail of flour dusted across the floor to mimic snowy footprints.

‘santa’s magic snow,’ he whispered to your child the next morning, pointing out the tracks. ‘he must’ve had a look last night.’

your kid’s eyes went wide, practically sparkling. ‘santa was here?!’

simon nodded solemnly, his eyes twinkling. ‘he’s keeping an eye on you.’

come christmas morning, the stocking was overflowing, filled with everything from sweets to little toys. santa went overboard this year. your child laughed in delight, and simon, trying to stay ‘in character,’ muttered, ‘guess santa thinks you’ve been extra good, huh?’

late on christmas eve, simon climbed onto the roof with a set of sleigh bells in hand. with quiet stomps and the occasional jingle, he created the illusion of santa and his reindeer making their grand departure. from the safety of their bedroom window, your child peeked out, eyes wide, whispering, ‘i hear him!’

you couldn’t help but laugh softly at simon’s commitment as he carefully climbed back down, boots crunching in the snow.

simon made sure to devour the cookies left out for santa—crumbs and all—and drained the milk, leaving behind a handwritten note:

‘thank you for the treats! keep being good, and i’ll see you next year!’

your kid squealed with joy when they found the note in the morning, clutching it like a treasure.

that night, after all the presents had been opened and the excitement had finally quieted, you found simon by the fire, still in his santa suit, looking exhausted but satisfied.

‘you really went all out,’ you whispered as you leaned over to kiss him.

simon shrugged, his face softening in the glow of the holiday lights. ‘they’ll only believe in this magic for so long,’ he murmured, brushing a hand through his hair. ‘figured i’d make it count.’

you smiled against his lips, kissing him again, the warmth of his dedication making your heart swell.

‘mommy, why are you kissing santa?’

[lovecoree]

can you do a smut fic on Felix or hyunjin and they just eat her out till she's begging to stop 😫 please and thank you btw i love your fics especially your bangchan one

omg thank you! I can imagine Hyunjin eating reader out like it’s his last meal! Like he’s just straight up pussy drunk when there having Christmas Eve movie night !

warning; oral sex ( fem receiving ) , not really proof read !

You felt like you were on cloud nine. Your boyfriend, Hyunjin was settled between your legs, giving you immense pleasure as he fucked you on his tongue. Your begging only fueled his energy as he held your legs open wider with his hands as he sucked harshly on your clit causing your body to jolt a little and back arch off the couch.

“Baby- fuck -baby please.” You didn’t know what you were pleading for, but your words couldn’t get out fast enough while you grip his hair, tugging at it which only made Hyunjin groan from the painful yet satisfying pull to his hair.

You honestly didn’t know how you ended in this position. A Christmas Eve movie night turned into you getting eaten out in a heart beat— not that you’re complaining though.

The Christmas movie playing in the background, long forgotten, the nice night view outside the windows as snow passed by and the night moon shining inside, and you, sprawled out on the couch letting your boyfriend eat you out for hours.

“Hyunjin, fuck wait I need a break.” You begged, lips forming into a pout as you whined still feeling sensitive from the past three orgasms your boyfriend made you go through.

Hyunjin mumbled against your sweet cunt, most likely saying something but he couldn’t find the energy to pull away, licking up your arousal in the process. It was like his weakness. “Baby I can’t hear you.” Breathing out, you took the opportunity to push his head away for a split second, it was like you could finally breathe.

You moaned at the sight of your boyfriend’s handsome face, the dimly lit living room shined just perfectly on his face to show the glistening arousal on his swollen lips and chin. “I said, just give me one more mamas, just one more please.”

He didn’t even let you respond, his eyes low and hazy, mind drunk off your pussy. You let out a cry as he dived back in between your legs. “Please baby.” Your voice came out in a whisper, too weak to say it louder, energy slowly leaving your body. “Fuck, Hyunjin I can’t!”

“Yes you can, you’re doing so good for me.”

Hyunjin moved his hand to rub your clit while tongue fucking you in the process. He looked up at you watching the way you react to his touch. God you look beautiful, your face contorted in pleasure and body shaking from pleasure.

He knew you were close because your moan grew louder and your eyes crossed. He took the initiative to plunge two of his long fingers inside you, curling up inside your sweet spot. He sucked on your clit again, to bring you even closer. “Oh my- fuuck.”

He pulled away from his assault on your clit with a lewd pop, “That’s it mamas, cum for me..god you look so pretty right now.” Hyunjin mumbled, fingers never halting as he fucked them deep inside you in a fast pace. “Shit, I’m cumming.” Hyunjin watched your mouth go wide, a silent cry as the knot in your stomach finally broke, “There you go, there she is.” Hyunjin praised.

Your body slumped into the couch while your boyfriend let you ride out your fourth orgasm. “No more, back up.” You said, finally after calming down. Hyunjin laughed while giving you the most sweetest smile, like he just didn’t eat you out first hours on end.

“Ok ok, no more I promise.” He got up off his knees before helping you up and carrying you to y’all shared bedroom. You looked at him confused for a second, “What about the movie?” Hyunjin only shook his head smirking.

“Oh baby, the movie can wait, I promise not to eat you out, that didn’t apply to me fucking you.”

“Hyunjin!”

[brownsugaboba]

title: “The Tension Between Us: 19+ version.”

december 22nd, 2024.

————————————————————————————

nanami kento x reader.

- black reader. (anyone can read, but emphasis on black.)

- 19+. (NO MINORS, only 19+)

————————————————————————————

“nanami, are you teasing me?” you ask him with a smile as he continue to catch your breath.

he opens his eyes and they linger down your face, to your neck, and finally your chest as it rises. he couldn’t help himself, it was getting harder and harder for him to stand here and do nothing to the most stunning piece of art that landed into his fingerprints.

“absolutely.”

you can’t help but crack a small smirk at his blunt and honest response.

“at least be easy with me..” you tease back with your head tilted slightly, and eyes still not looking away from his brown ones; standing your ground still.

his eyes finally look past your chest and up into your own. “aren’t i always?” he gently traces small circles along your ass cheeks.

you smile widely, your small dimple on your right cheek finally breaking through. “you remember what happened last time..”

“you sure you can handle this, honey.” you couldn’t help but chuckle softly at your own response, considering nanami’s face changed almost immediately after.

he remembered the night unfortunately, and though he only lasted a few seconds, he remembered the intoxicating moment like no other. the tightness around your skin, and how only half of him could fit inside. regardless, the outcome was the same.

“it-“ he pauses. “it wasn’t entirely my fault.” he eyes grow destined for the moment to happen again after remembering it in full. the bulge in his pants already making it difficult for him to breathe.

“honey~“ you chuckle and he quickly interrupts you.

“no~” he mocks you, which makes you smile even more. “don’t honey me.”

“you couldn’t even fit all of me inside, sweetheart.” his voice was soft and whisper like, and it distracted you from him backing you up to the back of the front door.

“nanami i was-“

he interrupts you once again, his eyes completely full of lust and love now. “it made it a bit difficult to last, even then.. look at you. how long do i truly need my love?”

you gaze into his eyes and listen to his response closely, however, all you can think about was that day. that night..

“are you blaming it on me?” you ask him with a smirk.

“absolutely not.” he says with no hesitation, and continues to push you against the door. once you make it there fully he moves his hands from your back and bring them to your hips; tracing the curves of your body on each side.

“i came a bit earlier than we both would’ve liked..” he starts. “so let me show you that i wont. let me show you that i can last (y/n).”

you knew that he only called you by your name when he truly wanted something, needed it so dearly. and he knew that you wouldn’t say no. and though he had that one thing that could control you so easily, you loved it. just the sound of your name leaving his lips. though to everyone else it sounded exactly the same, it sounded completely different to you.

before you can respond however, he moves his head lower down to your level; and since you were already slightly tall, it made things easier. he places his head in the crook of your neck and gently whispers into your ear, his lips purposefully touching your skin as he did so.

“i want this.” his hands find their way to your backside again, and he gives your cheeks a gentle squeeze. you can’t help but arch your back and let out a small hitch of breath in reaction to his sudden action.

“nana~mi.” the last syllable of his name had a slight moan added onto it as he gently glided his tongue along the side of your neck. you weren’t sure where this boldness came from, but you loved every second of it.

he slowly places a few kisses up along the now wet trail along your neck. his hands move from your backside and instead go up to hold your now arched back and pulls you in more.

he then pulls his head away and connects his eyes with yours again. however, he doesn’t go too far, he lets the tip of his nose run along your face. feeling the bumps and grooves he knew all too well.

“let me show you that i can make you moan-” he pauses in his speaking and movement, moving his lips over to yours. he gently bites your lower one before continuing.

“louder than they can make you laugh.”

he lean into his bite, arching your back fully now, wanting him to now taste you fully. he had you. right where he needed you, and you knew it. you couldn’t do anything less but to give in.

“let’s go do it then.” you finally let out, your heartbeat beginning to beat a bit faster than the few seconds before.

he lets out a small scoff and moves his lips away from yours now, which made you a bit saddened but nonetheless curious.

“why walk upstairs in those heels, and hurt your pretty feet, when i can have you here?” he asked, but it came out more like a statement. he pulls his head away from yours a bit more and slowly turns your body around, so that you faced the front door now.

you eyes were now aligned with the small round opening on the front door. you could see the dark sky, and other surrounding neighbors homes.. but you could only hear and feel your husband behind you.

he looks down and eyes your backside as he turns you, the arousing feeling in his heart and trousers only grew. he brings his hands down to your ass once again, holding both cheeks in either hand. he gently strokes the silk fabric covering your skin, before giving both a tight squeeze.

“i can’t believe i let you leave out like this, what an awful husband i am.” he says truly saddened.

you tense just slightly at the squeeze, not fully expecting it from him again. you can’t help but to arch your back just slightly and push out your size a bit more.. though you quickly stopped once seeing your neighbors leave out of their home.

“nanami, we can do this upstairs? the pullmans just-“

you were interrupted by his quick action of pulling you in close, and pushing your body forward; closer to the front door. with your head, now to the side, he moves his own to go beside it.

“i’ll talk you through it to keep you quiet, don’t worry sweetheart.” he whispers, trying to reassure you, but it did nothing.

all you could feel was the coolness from the door and his warm hands making their way underneath your dress. you felt as the silk fabric slowly rose above your thigh then your stomach. he moves his head from your own and looks down at the sight of your lace panties in his favorite color. the color only his favorite because of how it fell perfectly on your skin.

“it’s like you knew..” he whispered and you couldn’t help but smile, but your smile soon turned into a small gasp once he gently ran two fingers down your crack; along the lace fabric.

the small touch made your whole body feel hot, something only he could do. “nanami please..” you let out softly, hoping your neighbors didn’t hear. you’ve never gotten any noise complaints before, but that’s because you weren’t right behind the door.

“my sweet baby is begging already?” he whispered to you with a smile, going to place a peck on your cheek.

he moves his fingers back up your covered crack, then back down again a harder than before. he moves his fingers fuller down, running over your other covered holes as well.

you let out a soft moan, trying to catch your breath once again. you bring you hand up to cover your mouth, but nanami quickly grabs it with his other. instead, he moves it to your front side, and slowly inserts it inside your panties. he moves two of your fingers lower down and gently glides them across the surface of your now wet pussy, before moving his hand away.

you breaths speed up even more throughout his actions, knowing exactly what he was doing before he does it. “nanami, they’re right outside..”

once you finally feel your fingers gliding around the wet surface you made, you let out yet another moan.. and watch your neighbors glance over at the door.

nanami moved his head from beside yours and gently removed your panties, watching them slide down your legs. he brought his other hand fingers up to his mouth, and gently licked the two before bring them back down and running them along your crack once again.

the cool sensation sent a small shiver down your body, which only made him smirk in response. he then, without hesitation, inserted one of his fingers inside of your asshole; gently beginning to move it back and forth.

you let out a rather large gasp before groaning and slowly closeting your eyes. however the sight of your neighbors pointing at the door and whispering to one another made you grow quiet. instead, your legs tightened together, your hand still in between your thighs.

“honey.. we-“ you stop yourself as you feel another groan come up, and another one of your husbands fingers entering inside your whole. you close your eyes and try to get used to the new sensation, but you were too tight and body already trembling.

“sweetheart breathe for me..” nanami breathes out, he uses his other hand to unzip and unbuckle his trousers, finally releasing a bit of fabric so that his boner could breathe a bit. he takes his member out with a groan.

he slowly takes his fingers out of you and bring them up to his mouth to lick the taste of you away. he then wraps his arms fully around your waist, and pull you in entirely so that his boner was aligned with your crack. now with it against it, he gently moves his hips upward a bit, letting his length rub against you.

with both of your moans now intertwined, you can’t help but forget about the neighbors outside; and nanami could care less.

he moves his head beside yours yet again, his breaths almost as heavy as your own. “you’re too tight sweetheart, you need to breathe and relax.”

you try to take deep breaths but the only thing you can think about is how good nanami feels against you. “i don’t think i can.” you finally get out, your eyes closing even more as he continues to rub against you.

“insert one baby..” he whispered and placed a small kiss along your shoulder. “insert two.”

with no hesitation, you obey. you insert two of your fingers inside your vagina. your back almost immediately arching because of it. you couldn’t help it. your body felt so good that every touch felt too much.

nanami keeps ahold of your body, close and against his own, even when you almost lose your balance. though, you almost do, you thrust your fingers in and out of yourself. only causing more moans to be released from your lips. as you speed up the motion, and finally find your g spot, you don’t stop.

nanami notices this, and realizes how focused you are on hitting your climax. he uses this to his advantage, and pulls himself away from your body a bit to find your asshole once again. once he does he holds his member in his hand and gently inserts the tip of it.

you stop your fingers for a second, once you feel the new sensation. your body involuntarily pushes back against it; wanting more of the feeling inside.

nanami watched this with a smirk as he lets out a rather loud moan, inserting more of him in you. he feels you body slightly lose its balance again but he of course holds you back up in place; ready to take more in.

he pushes more into you, then more, then finally the last bit of what’s left. when it comes to the last of him, you let out a loud whine, and throw your head back, away from the door. your fingers slowly slide out of your heat right before you can release..

“n…n..nanami please..” you cry out. “i’m so close..”

he doesn’t mean to ignore you, however he does by mistake. with you two fully connected now, he wraps his stable body around yours like before and pulls you close once again. his arms wrapped around your body entirely as you fall back onto him.

“(y/n)..” he breaths out, his head beside your own as he holds on to you for dear life. “i need you to gain a bit of control, can you do that for me sweetheart?”

“please..” he whispers and you nod your head.

you open your eyes slowly, allow for the build up tears of pleasure to finally fall. nanami slowly lets go of your body, and slowly find your balance once again. he backs away from the front door while still connected to you, and gently leads your hand to the foyer table to hold on to.

“hold this and breathe sweetheart, i’ll have us both finished in a few seconds.”

you shiver from his confidence, your body continuing to tremble from the overwhelmingly pleasurable sensation from behind.

before you could even get another breath in, your body jumped slightly at the rather large thrust nanami pushed against you. you lose your breath completely and try to find it again once you feel his member leave your hole. but nanami thrust back in again.. then lets it out.. then trust. then again, and again.

you grip onto the table and slowly start to bend over, enjoying the amounts of pain that came with the pleasure of nanami fitting inside of you.

he grips your cheeks as he thrusts over and over, his groans filling the house like a loud broadcasting channel. you thrust back against him, not nearly as hard as him, but hard enough to help him.

“(y/n..), (y/n…)” he lets out in heavy breaths as he continued to thrust.

“honey you feel so good.. i want to feel more.”

“i’m so close sweetheart, im-“ he pauses his speaking and actions, allowing for his member to tremble and twitch inside of you before finally releasing. he lets out a loud moan, along with you, and watches the sight down below.

you let out even more moans, and bring your thighs together to squeeze them, feeling your climax coming back.

he lets go of your cheeks and gently take out his member, allowing for the cum to run out of your hole, onto the floor. and for the rest, that’s on his tip, to wipe along your ass.

you shake your cheeks just slightly after feeling the warm substance on it, and turn your head to see his reaction.

nanami licks his lips at the sight, his eyes still hungry however when he finally locks eyes with you again.

he almost immediately drops his member and goes to cup your cheeks. (on your face.) “i haven’t seen those beautiful brown eyes in so long.” he whispers, his breath still shaky, along with his body.

you smile at his comment, your body turning around to face him, still trembling under his touch as well. “i could say the same about yours..” you breathe out.

“is it my turn?”

the question from you makes his heart flutters entirely, wanting to give you every last bit of him and more.

he gently picks you up and places you gently on the table that you were just gripping on for support. you keep your eyes connected with his own throughout his every move, not caring what he did with your body. you trusted him throughout it all.

he spread your legs and lifted them, placing them on his shoulders so that he could see you fully. his eyes slowly leave your own and trail down your body. he moves a bit of your dress out of the way so that he could see your breasts. he lets his hand now trail the middle of chest, down to your heat. he runs two fingers beside your lips before and brings his hand up to taste the substance you created.

your heat beat grows fast as you watch his every move.. once he put his fingers in his mouth, you couldn’t help but let out a small moan.. simply thinking about his tongue against you now.

he moves his hand down his body and grabs his still hard member, he runs his hand along the length before gently placing it inside.

you thought he was going to place only the tip like he usually did, however he inserted all of it. you kept your eyes connected with his own, though they closed a bit throughout feeling his full length inside of you.

you let out a gasp once all of him was inside, and you let out an even louder gasp once he started to move himself in and out of you.

his hands gently run along your naked legs, as he turns his head to the side and presses a soft kiss along your leg. he lets out a few groan against the skin there, and leans into it. fully enjoying how perfect his size fit inside of your vagina.

after a few more soft movements he slowly starts to speed up, his thrusting growing more rough this time around since he was a bit more stable; and you were less tight.

you legs involuntarily opened wider, and you let out more moans, closer your eyes as he sped up. you bring you hand to lay on your belly, feeling the imprint of him inside of you, then out.. then inside yet again.

“nanami honey.. n..nanami oh..” you mumble out and feel your thighs beginning to close and twitch.

he sees this as well and brings his hands down to hold them fully apart. he grips your thighs and quickens his thrusts inside of you, widening you by the second.

you throw your head back once again, letting out louder moans now. you were close, too close..

“i gonna cum.. b..baby i’m gonna c..cum.” nanami breathed out through his thrusts, your breasts moving in the same fast speed as him.

“me too baby.. tell me when… tell me when.” he breathed, waiting for his call.

he thrusts his quickest and holds it, pulling you in close to his embrace before finally releasing once he felt you did.

you let out a loud moan of his name and released as well, holding him tightly as you trembled still, now more than ever.

you slowly pull away from him and look down at the substances mix. nanami couldn’t help but smile at your quickness to see the sight. he gently takes his member out of you, and cum a bit more of your surface; slapping down his tip a few times just to get a small reaction out of you. like you did earlier with him.

you let out a small moan and watch as the cum slides off the table and onto the floor.

“should we go again, sweetheart?” he asks with a small smirk, pushing his tip along your heat.

fin.

————————————————————————————

note: i also didn’t read this over before posting.. it’s just been sitting in my drafts and i wanted to get rid of it. so if there are mistakes, close your eyes and shake your head a few times and they’ll disappear..

also, please let me know if you guys want me to include twitter links so that you can VISUALLY see what i’m writing about! i was going to include them but i wasn’t sure.

let me know some feedback!

thank you.

[pedroscurls]

christmas confessions (pt. 4 - day 4)

summary: it's christmas eve and you and logan reveal your true feelings for each other. pairing: origins!logan howlett x fem!reader content warnings: n/a. word count: 1.4k a/n: we're almost at the end of the story everyone. i've had so much fun writing this and absolutely love love love origins!logan. next and final part will be posted on xmas! pt. 3 | series masterlist.

DAY 4 — The weight of Logan’s words linger throughout the night into the following morning. You hadn’t slept all night; your mind racing over and over again at the thought of Logan’s feelings for you. It was mutual. He loved you too, but his scars just ran too deep. The trauma he experienced was just too much. 

And you couldn’t blame him, but you were determined to change his mind. He had avoided you the entire night last night, resorting to staying in his bedroom. Even when you knocked on his door to tell him that dinner was ready, he just said a quiet thank you without even opening the door. 

His words continue to repeat in your mind as you step out of the bedroom. 

“I’ve lost everyone I ever loved and I’m not losing you.”

There’s an eerie silence that encompasses the cabin; it doesn’t feel like he’s here. So, you tiptoe over to his bedroom and knock on the door. No answer. You let out a sigh and then turn on your heel to walk into the kitchen instead. You take a quick glance at the front door, taking note of his missing keys and coat from the rack. 

He isn’t here. 

You shake your head to yourself and walk into the kitchen to make a pot of coffee. You grab your phone and send him a quick text, asking him where he’s at and if he’s okay. He doesn’t respond, just reads your message. It upsets you because you didn’t even get a chance to tell him how you felt, how his fear of losing you is completely valid. 

But Logan made a decision for the both of you without even giving you a chance to make your choice. 

You don’t even bother to eat, the emptiness of the cabin making itself known. It’s so much bigger than you thought, even as you walk around the living room with your mug of coffee. You look at the decorations Logan had put up for you, the fire that’s going that he probably put on before he left. 

It pains you to know that nothing might ever happen between you and Logan. You feel the safest with him and these last few days have just proven to you that he also feels like home. Despite not being able to spend the holidays with your family, there isn’t anywhere else you’d rather be but here with him. 

You sit on the couch and bring your legs up to your chest, glancing down at your phone to see that he hasn’t yet replied. You try to give him a call, but he doesn’t answer. You let out a heavy sigh; Logan always liked to run away from his problems and you hated it, but you know that he probably needs to cool down, needs to reevaluate what he needs to do moving forward. 

—

Hours pass before he finally gets back home. He walks in and doesn’t find you in the kitchen or living room like he thought he would. Assuming you’re still in your room, he removes his coat and boots and then makes his way into his own bedroom, making sure to pass your door without hesitation. 

It isn’t until he opens his own door that he sees you lying on your side on his bed. On his bed. You’re curled up in his sheets and he can tell you’re sleeping, the sound of your soft breathing filling his ears. He bites his lower lip and walks over to you quietly, grabbing the blanket to drape over you. When you feel the weight of the blanket encompass you, to move to lie on your back, his name escaping your beautiful lips. 

Gently, he reaches out to brush his thumb along your cheek. Logan watches you lean into his touch and he leans down to lightly place a soft kiss on your forehead. “I love you,” he whispers almost inaudibly. “And it scares me.” 

Logan fully stands and walks towards his closet, grabbing a change of clothes. He walks into his bathroom, stealing another glance at you in his bed. He wants so badly to climb in and pull you into his arms, tell you that he loves you, that he’s willing to give this a try with you. 

But he can’t. 

He doesn’t want to lose you. 

Because if he ever did, he’s sure that it’d break him. 

Logan’s shower doesn’t take long, but when he steps out of his bathroom, he finds you beginning to quietly climb out of the bed. He clears his throat, bringing the towel to run through his damp hair as he leans against the doorframe of his bathroom door. 

“Hey,” he calls out. 

You stop in your tracks and slowly turn to face him, eyes gazing up at him. “I’m sorry. I just–”

“No, don’t worry about it,” Logan interrupts. “Didn’t get enough sleep last night?” 

“No,” you answer. “Was up all night.”

He sighs and moves to sit on his bed, gently patting the empty space next to him. He moves his eyes down to his hands, thumb brushing over his knuckles. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I didn’t– I just–” he sighs. “I care about you, you know?” 

You slowly walk over to him and sit on the edge of his bed with him. You bring your legs up underneath and turn your body so that you’re facing him. Hesitantly, you reach out and take hold of one of his hands. “Logan…”

“I can’t lose you,” he whispers. “I need you to understand that.”

“You won’t,” you answer as you slowly play with his fingers. “I do understand your fear, Logan, but you– You can’t make that choice for me.”

“Baby…”

“I love you,” you blurt out, stopping your movements to look up at him. He turns his head to look over at you, eyes glistening with unshed tears as he stares into your eyes. “And I think I’ve loved you for years now. I’d take every risk with you, Logan.”

He stares deeply at you, eyes moving down to your lips and then back up to gaze into your eyes. Logan slowly reaches up to cup your cheek, thumb brushing against your jawline. He can hear your heart rate pick up, sees your eyes drift down towards his lips and slowly, he leans in to press his lips lightly against yours. 

Just as your lips touch, he hears you let out a quiet gasp and it only urges him further. Logan slowly moves his hand from your cheek to cup your neck as he moves to hover over you. His free arm wraps around your waist and lifts you further into the middle of the bed, settling himself between your legs. 

You card your fingers through his long hair, feeling the dampness of his hair. You part your lips for him, feeling his tongue slide in as your legs wrap around his waist. 

Logan pulls away for a moment, resting his forehead against yours. “Tell me again,” he whispers. “Tell me you love me…”

“Only if you tell me the truth too.”

Logan looks into your eyes as he contemplates the consequences of telling you how he feels about you. He tries to push away the lingering thoughts, the memories that he had tried so hard to forget, and even as he gazes into your eyes, all he can see is the possibility of losing you.

He feels your hand move to cup his own cheek and he realizes just how meaningful and grounding that simple action is. He leans into it, keeping himself propped up on his forearms as he continues to gaze into your eyes. 

Soon, the thoughts that linger transition into the memories he’s shared with you. The laughter and joy he’s felt ever since meeting you, the hope he feels whenever he’s around you, and the way he’s only ever felt at home with you. 

“I love you,” he whispers quietly. “And it scares the shit out of me, but I love you,” Logan repeats. “I think I loved you the moment I met you.”

“Logan…” you smile, tears filling your eyes. “I think Christmas Eve might be my favorite day now.” 

He chuckles. “Oh? What about Christmas?” 

You shake your head. “Christmas Eve will hold a special place in my heart now… it’s the day we told each other how we felt.”

“I love you. I really do and the fear will always be there–”

“Then we handle it together, baby,” you finish for him.

---

taglist: @kellyxo1 @misscrissfemmefatale @mooneyloveydovey @oatmilkriver @steviebbboi

[jeonjaemark]

a christmas adventure || lee jihoon

content warning: sexual themes, MDNI, mentions of riding (m. receiving) || masterlist

jihoon’s pov

after looking through certain audios and arranging the different sound bytes, my eyes started to ache staring at the screen for the last three hours. i turn my chair away from my screen closing my eyes and rest my hand back against the rest behind me. exhaling and inhaling a few deep breaths my eyes snap open at the instrumental ringtone of iu’s love wins all. i immediately reach for my phone already feeling the pressure of my head getting lighter.

“hi lovey.” her cheery voice chimes through the other line.

“hi lovey. you’re awake still? what’s up?” i glance at my watch seeing it’s almost two in the morning.

“nothing much. i just wanted to check in on you. i miss you.”

“i miss you too. i am sorry i had to cancel our lunch date today.” i tell her, my voice going a bit higher out of guilt.

the last few weeks i haven’t spent much time back home with y/n. between the different schedules of being at the studio, photoshoots, video shoots and rehearsals i barely had any time to even kiss y/n on the head before i leave. when i wake up for work she is asleep and when i get back home from work she is asleep. when we call each other during break, it usually for at least thirty minutes before one of us has to end it because she has her work and i have mine. i don’t remember the last time i have seen her when she is awake in broad daylight outside of video calls. it’s almost like we are in a long distance relationship.

“it’s okay. i understand why it’s cancelled.” she reassures me. “but is there any way i could steal you from your work for maybe a couple or twenty minutes?”

“lovey, you know i would drop anything for you.”

“i am happy you said that. there is a little red box for you in your top right drawer.“

i put the phone of speaker and glide over to my desk in search of the red box. the moment i slide open my top drawer there it was. a small square red box with a bow on top. i picked up the box and set it on my desk.

“what did you do?” i questioned curiously.

“you’ll see. have fun.” she ends the call before i could ask any further questions.

i open up the box with a bunch of crumpled up colored tissue paper. i toss out the crumpled paper onto my desk until i reach a card with the words ‘read me’.

hiii lovey!! welcome to your christmas scavenger hunt. today you will be forced to leave your studio for a bit. under this note will be your first clue on what you will have to find and where to go. don’t worry, nothing is too far and it’s within walking distance. so dress warmly, drink some water (or cola) and have fun ;)

xx your favorite lovey

i chuckle at the note and search for the clue in the box. a barbie pink folded paper stood out among the colored tissue paper. i pick up the note and immediately knew where to go. i threw on my hoodie and headed down the elevator walking to a nearby convenience store.

the note had mention to go to the one place where we can find all our favorite midnight snacks. i scan down the different aisle picking out the different snacks y/n likes to eat. however i couldn’t find a note within any of the packaging. i look over the note again trying to figure out the clue when it me. it said “our” favorite snack at midnight.

i rush out of the current aisle i was in and head down to the drink section. usually y/n and i like to share a cola and a bag of salty chips. i search for the coke zero when i noticed a pink note attached to one of the colas. i reach for the note reading for the next place to go.

clue after clue, i finally arrive at the last place. the last clue had hinted for me to go to place where we lost track of time talking all night. i quietly enter the cafe as the worker nods greeting me.

the strong aroma of caffeine hits me like a tidal wave. there aren’t many cafes that are open this late but y/n and i happened to stumble upon during one of our dates. it was the one night that left a core memory for the both of us.

the clue was telling the truth about y/n and i losing track of time here. when we got caught up in the rain that night, we found shelter in this cafe for a few hours. we ended up talking all night together. i have never laughed or smiled so hard in my life that night. a warm tingling sensation seeps through my skin at the thought of our first kiss happening that same night.

“sir, here is your coffee.” the barista calls out to me quietly, handing me one hot mocha hazelnut latte and an iced americano

i thank him politely when i noticed a pink note underneath the hot drink. i carefully set the drinks down on the table and read the note.

you’ve finished your hunt. now it’s time to come back to the place that is your second home

i head back to my studio shaking off some of the leftover snow. when i close the door, fairy lights switch on. i didn’t have fairy lights before leaving my studio earlier. i whip my head around finding y/n sat on my chair in a grey wool coat that barely cover his knees with a pair of red heels. it seems a little dressed up for a studio visit. her hair was pinned half up and down. her skin glowing under the fairy lights.

——

y/n pov

“surprise!” i smiled as he enters his studio.

“lovey! you’re here!” he smirks.

“did you enjoy your scavenger hunt?”

“yeah but i am more happy to see my prize at the end.”

jihoon sets the bags of snacks he bought and coffee onto the table near him. he slides off his coat fixing his hair. i stood up from his swivel chair and walk to the middle of his studio.

“what are you doing here?” his voice filled with suspicion.

“well you’ve been coming home tired because of work. i thought i could give you a different reason to be tired.”

i unbutton open the coat as it slide down to my ankles. i adjust the silk straps and run my hand down sheer fabric of the babydoll dress. my fingers play around with the giant bow covering my breast. jihoon’s eyes scan up my body. his shoulders perk up along with the corners of his lips intrigued and interested by choice of outfit.

“i know it’s a bit early for you to open up your christmas gift from me, but i thought of something else you could open that can make us both happy.”

i slowly walk over to jihoon, my heels dragging lightly against the wood floor with each step. his eyes take me in, slowly and steadily watching every movement i take towards him. the smug grin on his face only boosts my confidence to keep going with my little game. i stood in between his spread legs looking down at him. i turn around sitting my ass against his perked up friend and start to grind against him. jihoon presses his hands to my waist and i lean forward moving back against him. a few deep groans leave his lips making me smile. my panties start to soak at the sounds leaving his mouth and the way his finger start to grip me to be closer to him.

“y/n, someone might walk in on us.” he mumbles into my ear. his voice filled with warning as i spin to face him.

“you’re at your studio at three in the morning, who’s gonna walk in on us? a ghost?” i questioned. i bring my lips closer to his ear, “plus isn’t the possibility of getting caught part of the thrill of having sex in your studio? i thought you would be fulfilling one of your fantasies.”

“you’re such a brat.” he hissed.

“and you love me anyways.” i nips at his earlobe. “now shut up and let me make you feel good.”

i kiss down his neck as my hips roll into his finding their own rhythm. a few mixes of moans and groans leave his lips as i continue to grind into him. his hands squeezing and guiding my waist on him. i lock my arms around his neck circling my hips into him. he pulls my lips away from marking up his chest and smashes his lips to mine kissing me with much eager and need. his hips thrust up meeting mine making me moan against his lips.

i reach down for the buckle of his pants but he presses his hand to mine stopping me. “y/n…” his voice dripping with hesitation over the thought of someone catching us in the act.

i guide my hand lower palming him earning another moan, “i promise i will be gentle at first.”

he release his hand from mine and allows me to unbuckle him. he helps me slide off his pants and boxer enough for me. i lick my lips at the sight of him as he guides me down onto him. my walls begin to stretch deliciously as he enters me to the tilt. my face scrunches up at the pain of him entering me. jihoon crashes his lips against mine again pulling my head away from leaning on his shoulder. his tongue tracing the seams of mine while we waited for me to adjust to his size again. he trails his lips down my neck, nipping at a certain part that had butterflies fluttering in my stomach. i squeeze his arm once i felt the pain subside and he presses his hands to my hips ready to guide and aide me. i press my hands to his shoulders as i grind my hips into his building up to bouncing up and down. his hips snap up into mine every time i went down.

——

jihoon slides on his boxers while he grabs the blanket i had brought to cover my body. i snuggle closer to his body taking in his scent. aside from the mind blowing orgasms i’ve had (i stopped breathing after the seventh one) for the past twenty minutes jihoon and i have been cuddling on the couch randomly jumping from one topic to the next. i can’t remember the last time i stayed up like this with him.

“if there is one member you didn’t want to walk in on us, which one would it be?”

“any of them. i would be mortified.” he laughs. “i would also be pissed too cause i don’t want anyone else to see you like this except me.”

“possessive much?” i teased.

“only when it comes to you.” he presses a kiss to my lips. this time it was slow and gently not rough and eager like earlier.

he pulls away pushing himself off the couch away from me. i arch an eyebrow at him as he walks over to his computer and soundboard.

“lovey, what are you doing?”

“i am feeling inspired right now.” he grins.

“lee jihoon, you are not about to make a song about our sex life.” i spat sternly.

“no one will know except you and me. i think it would be fun.”

“you’re so annoying. maybe i need to tire you out more.”

jihoon drops whatever he is doing and walks back to the pull out couch. i laugh as he laid up against the cushions next to me. he wraps his arms around my waist pulling me on top to straddle him.

“i believe you said i need to be more tired.”

“i did, but i think you gotta earn the ride first and it’s nice to know i can pull you away from your work when it comes to sex.”

“it not just sex, only you can pull me away from work even when you’re just calling me to update about your day or when you call to tell me you miss me.” he presses a kiss to my forehead. “i admit that i tend to be a workaholic and sometimes i feel like i am not a good boyfriend to you and —- .”

“shhh, don’t do that. don’t start belittling yourself because work has been taking your time. you have never neglected me once. you always tell me in advance if something has come up when we had plans and today was the first time in a while that you’ve cancelled on me. you are doing a lot better managing your work and personal life.”

“well that’s because i have you.” he kisses me. “you make it hard for me to be away from you long.”

while work has been chaotic for jihoon and i (more for him than me), he has never forgotten to send me my favorite latte at the start of my day or how he would leave little notes around the apartment for me to find. he texts and call me in between schedules. he would even stay on call with me even if i am one who is busy and he happened to catch a break between his crazy schedule. even when we are free we spend it in the apartment together watching his latest anime that he been obsessed with or watching one of my fave romance movies.

“i love you, lee jihoon. don’t ever forget that and don’t ever belittle yourself on your love for me.” i look into his eyes making sure he understood my words.

“i love you more. i promise no more belittling.” he chuckles kissing me. “so i really can’t make that song?”

i groan pressing my fingers to my temples, “i am really gonna have to tire you the fuck out tonight.”

“we better get to work.” he teases, pulling me in even closer, tracing kisses down to my chest making me moan.

[massivedrickhead]

merry christmas, merry christmas (but i think i’ll miss this one this year)

Words: 1907

Summary: Chloe isn’t going home for Christmas, and her aim is to make it to the 25th without the Bellas finding out.

Notes: Merry Pitchmas @psychoteacher90, I’m your secret santa! So, confession time - I misread the initial message and thought you’d said you like a little angst sprinkled in with your fluff, but after I re-read it last night I realised it said you could tolerate it… I hope you like this anyway, and next year I’m definitely going to read the message more than once 🙈

Read on AO3

@merry-pitchmas

-

“Hey, when are you going home for Christmas?”

The question caught Chloe off guard. Not because she wasn’t expecting it, she just wasn’t expecting it so early into December. 

She thought she’d have more time to come up with an answer. A lie that wouldn’t result in further questions. 

But she didn’t get that time. Beca asked her on the first weekend of December while eating toast with one hand and scrolling through her phone with the other. 

“Oh, I dunno yet,” Chloe replied, trying to sound casual. “Why?”

Beca shrugged. “Just wondering.” 

Chloe thought about maybe telling her the truth. The Bellas’ house was quiet for once, with the rest of the girls either still in bed, or out, or home for the weekend. 

Now would be as good a time as any. 

She opened her mouth to speak but shut it just as quickly. 

No, not now. 

Besides, she didn’t usually go home until a few days before Christmas Eve. Anything could happen between now and then. 

-

Beca asked again a few weeks later, a scowl on her face as she squinted at her phone.

“Do you know when you’re leaving for Christmas yet?” She asked. “I’m trying to organise the Bella’s Christmas party, and no one is free on the same night. Since when were a capella nerds so popular?”

Chloe couldn’t help but smile and roll her eyes as she pulled Beca’s phone out of her hand. 

“You’ll give yourself a headache,” she said, looking down at their shared calendar. Chloe had completely forgotten all about their Christmas party, which was especially surprising since she was the one who had organised it for the past few years.

It was true, there was no night that was free. Each square ticking down to December 25th contained a coloured dot representing at least one of the Bellas and their plan for that day.

Chloe noticed her own baby blue dot was the only one absent. There were no Christmas market trips, or festive nights out with classmates, or neighbourhood carolling. 

She hadn’t been feeling particularly Christmassy this year.

“I guess we just skip it this year,” Chloe said, handing Beca back her phone.

Beca raised her eyebrows. “Skip it?”

Chloe shrugged. “I don’t see any other option, everyone is busy.”

Beca shook her head and looked back at her phone. “You love the Christmas party. I’ll figure it out. Even if we have it at 2 pm on a Tuesday.”

“I wouldn’t stress about it,” Chloe said, standing up from the sofa and grabbing their dishes from the coffee table. “It isn’t important.”

“You didn’t answer my question by the way,” Beca asked, looking up from her phone as Chloe stood. “When are you going to your parents?”

I’m not. 

“I don’t know yet.”

-

Their Christmas party never happened, but Chloe didn’t notice. Or, at least, she pretended not to.

She had been trying to spend the majority of her December trying to pretend that the holiday didn’t exist.

When the Bellas had decorated the tree, Chloe had been hiding in the library.

When they made gingerbread houses, she went to the gym.

When they got drunk on Amy’s mulled wine, she’d been studying in her room, ignoring Beca’s repeated attempts to get her to join them.

For the amount of time Chloe had spent trying to avoid Christmas, Beca had spent double trying to get her involved.

Chloe couldn’t blame her, she knew she wasn’t herself, but she still couldn’t bring herself to tell Beca the truth. 

It would start a much bigger conversation that Chloe wasn’t ready for. One she’d never intended on having in the first place.

She kept it buried and tried to avoid Beca as much as she could for the next couple of days.

-

“Are you sure you don’t need a ride to the airport?” Beca asked on the 23rd. 

“I’m sure,” Chloe said. “You were supposed to leave for your Dad’s like 20 minutes ago, you’ll be late.”

Beca looked at her watch but still dithered. “You’ll text me when you land?”

“Yes,” Chloe said. “Get out of here already.”

“Jeez, Merry Christmas to you too,” Beca said, giving Chloe a hug. 

“Merry Christmas,” Chloe replied, trying not to hold on too tightly. 

She needed Beca to leave, because if she didn’t she might cry.

“See you next year, I guess,” Beca said, ending their hug and grabbing her keys from the counter. 

“Drive safe,” Chloe said.

Beca raised a hand in farewell before closing their door behind her. 

Chloe’s tears fell quickly after.

She picked up her suitcase and carried it back to her room before dumping out the contents on her floor. 

Her plan had worked. 

She would make it through Christmas without anyone finding out she’d spent it alone. Without anyone finding out why she’d spent it alone. 

-

Later that night there was a knock at the door which Chloe assumed was the pizza she’d ordered. 

She had assumed wrong.

Beca was standing on their doorstep, hands shoved into her pockets because she’d forgotten her gloves.

Chloe could only stare back, mouth slightly agape. She swallowed. She could still get out of this. 

“Forget your keys or something?”

“You aren’t going to Florida.” It wasn’t a question, and Chloe couldn’t argue. She was standing there in her pyjamas after all. Her hair up in a towel, face scrubbed of makeup. It was hours after her supposed flight was supposed to have taken off.

“What are you doing here?” Chloe asked, her shoulders dropping. 

“I could ask you the same question.”

Chloe sighed and stood aside so Beca could come in. “Fine,” she said. “I’m not going to Florida. Your turn to answer.”

Beca tilted her head as if confused. “I came here for you,” she said. “You aren’t spending Christmas on your own.” Again, it wasn’t a question.

“Beca-”

“Look, you’ve been distant and sad since Thanksgiving, and I’m guessing it has something to do with you not going home for Christmas,” Beca said. “And you don’t have to tell me about it if you don’t want to - and I’m assuming you don’t otherwise you’d have said something before now - but just because you aren’t going home, doesn’t mean you have to spend Christmas alone.”

Chloe opened her mouth to speak, but she was cut off by another knock on the door, and this time it was the pizza guy.

“I’m fine,” Chloe said, returning from the door with her pizza. “I have pizza, and trashy movies, and wine. I’ve spent plenty of days by myself before, and this one won’t be any different. It’s just a day, it doesn’t mean anything.”

“I don’t think you believe that,” Beca said. “But, whatever, if you don’t want to spend it with me that’s fine.” Beca pulled out her phone. “But you also have an invite from Jessica to spend it with her family, as well as Ashley, Flo, Legacy, Cynthia Rose, Amy, and Stacie also told me to tell you you could crash her and Aubrey’s Christmas plans. Also Lily offered too, but she also mentioned something about needing a sacrificial lamb, so maybe don’t go to her place.”

Chloe laughed and shook her head, tears burning her eyes.

“Even if you can’t go back to Florida, you can still spend Christmas with your family. Maybe not the one you were born into, but a one that loves you.”

“I don’t want to impose-”

“Chloe I had barely finished typing out my message to them, and all the Bellas were falling over themselves to invite you to their homes. You’re not an imposition.”

“And you?”

“I said I had first dibs,” Beca said. “Plus, this way I’ll get to give you your present. I pulled your name in Secret Santa this year.”

“I didn’t do Secret Santa,” Chloe responded, confused.

“Fine, I pulled Legacy but I have a gift for you anyway.” Beca took hold of Chloe’s hands. “Come on,” she said. “Sheila bought a turkey that’s way too big, my dad needs someone to talk about books with, and I… I want to spend Christmas with you.”

Chloe pulled her teeth across her bottom lip before she eventually nodded her head. 

They ate the pizza while Chloe changed and packed, and then they piled into the car for the short drive to Beca’s dad’s house.

“How did you know that I wasn’t going home?”

“Your flight didn’t exist,” Beca replied. “And I just had a feeling that there was something you weren’t telling me. You haven’t been yourself.”

“I know,” Chloe said. “I’m sorry I’ve been so… Well, you know. I just didn’t want to get into it.”

“You still don’t have to if you don’t want to. But I’m here to listen if you do.”

Chloe didn’t respond right away. She rested her head against the passenger window and watched the flurry of snow begin to fall. 

“I had a fight with my parents at Thanksgiving,” Chloe said.

Beca turned down the music, but didn’t interrupt.

“Things have been tense with them for a while,” Chloe said. “It all sort of boiled over. They overheard me on the phone to Aubrey… Heard me talk about stuff they didn’t know about me and… Yeah. A lot of yelling later and I was, I mean disowned sounds so serious but I guess… I guess that’s what it was.” 

Chloe tried to swallow the lump in her throat but it wouldn’t budge. 

She recognised where they were, and knew they’d be entering Beca’s neighbourhood soon. She wanted to pull herself together before then.

“Jesus,” Beca said, her voice just above a whisper. “I mean unless you were confessing to multiple murders on the phone to Aubrey, I don’t-”

“I was telling her about someone I like. About… About a girl I like.”

“Oh,” Beca said, glancing across the car. “They didn’t know?”

“No,” Chloe said. 

“I’m really sorry, Chloe. You… You don’t deserve that. And they don’t deserve you.”

Chloe sniffed. “I know.” They pulled into Beca’s drive but neither made a move to get out of the car. Chloe could see the glow of Christmas lights through the window, and she felt a pang of homesickness mixed with a rush of gratitude for Beca. “Thank you for coming back for me.”

“I always will,” Beca said. “I hope you know how loved you are, Chloe.”

They sat in silence for a little while longer before Beca spoke again. “So, there’s a girl you like, huh? Anyone I know?”

Chloe laughed. “You know, considering you were able to figure out I lied about going to Florida, you can be a little oblivious sometimes.”

“It’s that obvious? It can’t be Stacie or Aubrey, or Jessica or Ashley. Is it Emily? Or Cynth-”

Beca’s voice died in her throat as Chloe pressed their lips together.

“Oh.”

“I get it if you don-”

It was Chloe’s turn to be cut off as Beca pulled her back into a kiss. 

They didn’t break apart until they heard the front door of the house being pulled open. 

Light from the hall spilled out into the driveway.

Beca’s Dad sighed. “Sheila, I owe you 20 bucks!” He shouted before shutting the door again.

Chloe giggled, and Beca felt it in her chest.

“I guess we should go inside,” Chloe said.

“I guess we should. Merry Christmas, Chloe.”

“Merry Christmas, Beca.”

They kissed again.

[shedoessoshedoes]

Never Let Me Go, Chapter Two

here it is, @inkedinshadows!!! hope you like where we're going <3

in case you missed, it read part one here or on ao3

wc: ~2400

cw: angst, mentions of canon-typical violence

read this chapter on ao3

As soon as Elain got the words out, the room erupted into chaos. Rhys, she could tell, was watching her vision through Feyre’s eyes, and Cassian was halfway out of the swinging kitchen door to arm himself with some of the various weapons the family kept around the townhouse before she could blink. Nesta tilted Elain’s face up to look at her. “What do you mean, he’s gone?” she asked, that silver fire that Elain knew so well creeping up into her eyes. 

Elain’s breath shuttered out, and she wiped at her face while she sat fully up to face her sister. “He was flying back–it seemed like he was almost close enough to use his shadows to come back home–and someone came crashing into him. He tried to pull him out of the sky, and when that didn’t work immediately, it looked like–like–” she broke off, chest heaving back into sobs. 

“It looked like the Illyrian attempted stabbing Azriel to bring him back down to the ground,” Feyre finished quietly, meeting no one’s eyes. 

“Those mountains look like the ones he would have been over today.” Rhys said quietly. “With his ring on, as well, I think odds are high that the vision is from this trip. I also can’t–I can’t get into contact with him. I tried just now. I haven’t talked to him since last night. Elain, is the bond–” 

Elain felt for it frantically, but her panic had overridden any sense she had of whether the tug she could give it was stronger or weaker than it had been before. “I don’t–I can’t tell,” she said, voice coming out desperate. “He’s still there but if I’m too panicked to feel it and he’s not sending anything back..” 

Nesta finished the sentence for her. “He’s probably just as panicked as you are if you aren’t feeling anything different.” 

Silence fell over the kitchen, and then chaos broke out again. Cassian left the door swinging behind him to sit down at the table and started strategizing with Feyre before Elain could blink, and Rhys’s and Nesta’s faces slowly became fit over with twin cruel masks. Rhys prowled to the head of the table, waving his hand so that a map of the Night Court was spread out in front of the four of them. Elain watched it all happen in a daze, pressing herself back against the cabinets. How they were all able to organize their thoughts like that immediately after hearing the news, she had no idea. She felt as though her entire life was spinning away from her, entirely out of her control. 

“I’m just–I’ll be right back,” she whispered, and bolted from the room, not checking to see if any of the members of her family had even heard her. Elain raced up the richly carpeted stairs and crashed through the door of her and Azriel’s room, gasping as she went to her knees on the floor. She tried to focus her eyes on her wedding band as the room spun, and she fought to catch her breath. 

Was it truly from today? Where was he? Was he safe? Could she feel him as she usually could through through the bond?Did he know that they knew he had been taken? Could his shadows get him out? How would they find him? Did he know that she was ready to tear the world apart to bring him back, ready to bargain away her own life to save his? Gods, he must be in so much pain. What if they couldn’t find him? What if he wasn’t able to heal quickly enough? What if–she cut herself off. 

“You cannot think like that, Elain,” she told herself. “You cannot even begin to think like that. He will be back safe and well before you know it.” She pushed herself up to sitting, back against their bed, staring at the paintings they had up on the wall. Absent-mindedly, she reached up to her nightstand, for the packet of seeds she kept there. They had been a gift from Azriel years ago, and she’d never been able to bring herself to use them. It had been a wonder when the two of them realized they both kept each other’s gifts on their bedside tables and stared at them when they couldn’t sleep. Azriel’s headache powder remained near his pillow even now, for the rare days when Elain was gone or out late with her sisters and he was left to fall asleep alone. Elain rubbed the seam of the packet back and forth between her fingers, trying to decide what to do next. 

It was non-negotiable that she was going to get him back. Elain wasn’t nearly as skilled as Nesta and Feyre in combat, but she would be damned before she let someone else save her husband. Strong, mighty, shadowsinging fae he might be, but he was still hers, and that meant that it was her responsibility to make sure that he was safe. Always. After all, she had been the one to See his attack. She would need to go with her family to make sure they were in the right place, to identify the attacker, to do all of it. If she couldn’t fight, maybe she could be the one to grab Azriel and winnow him out. Her shadow-walking abilities were limited, as far as she and Azriel could tell, to moments of intense need, and this felt like one of the most intense moments they’d had together, even considering their dramatic history. She could do it. She knew that she could. If not through his shadows, she would do it through pure will, would winnow them straight back to Velaris and never let him leave her sight again. Maybe this had been why Azriel was so reluctant to leave–maybe he had a feeling that something was going to go horribly, awfully wrong. Why had she ever let him leave?

Elain steeled herself, then, for what she was going to do. Decision made, she hauled herself up off of the floor and wiped at her face. She turned to check her reflection in the mirror, and what she saw made her lips twitch up in sick amusement. She didn’t look anything like a grieving widow, terrified for her husband and unable to do anything about it. No, she looked like a female wronged, all dried tear tracks and mussed hair, eyes glinting dangerously. She opened the door and made her way back downstairs. 

“I’m getting him back,” she announced, as she arrived back in the kitchen doorway, not waiting for a break in her siblings’ conversation. 

Rhys’s head snapped up. “Then you will die.”

Elain only responded, “I’m getting him back.” The rest of her family looked at her, pondering. She sighed. “I don’t mean that I’m going there alone and fighting my way out. But you will not leave me here alone while you go to rescue my husband from a situation that you only know about because of me. You can bring me in, and I will get him, and we will winnow back. I don’t care what you need to do to whoever he’s with, but you will let me and Azriel handle the interrogation on our own–after Solstice.” She said all of this in a great rush, and when she finished she took a deep breath, smoothing her hands down her front, keeping herself calm. “Now, would you like to tell me your plan?” 

Cassian was the first to speak, standing up as he did so to offer Elain his chair, which she gratefully took. “Do you feel the way that you have the last time you used Azriel’s shadows to winnow, Elain?” 

She nodded. “We know that I can do it when one of us is in mortal danger. If this doesn’t fit that description, I don’t know what does.” 

“Then of course you can come, Elain. We’ll need someone to handle the extraction, and with you there, the rest of us can fight.” He blew out a breath. “You will, however, then be in charge of explaining to Az why you felt the need to put yourself into mortal danger, but as long as I don’t have to have that conversation, be my guest.” Elain nodded. 

“We believe Azriel was flying just over the Southern Mountains when he was taken,” Cassian continued. “There are three camps there that we’ve been trying to get under control, and Az was visiting the northernmost one today. Nesta and I will cover that camp, as well as the surrounding woods to these points. Feyre, you will be in charge of the eastern camp, and Rhys, the one furthest to the South. When we find him, either Nesta or I will tell Feyre and Rhys, who will tell you, Elain, where to go, or they’ll tell you themselves. You’ll be waiting here, in the center of the woods. We’ve tracked no Illyrian activity there for centuries, so I’m hoping that today is not the day they decide to move. If it is, you should be able to winnow out of there.” 

He looked up at the members of his family, and his eyes were those of the general, not a hint of the warmth that Elain had come to know present behind his gaze. “Are you all clear?” 

Nesta, Rhys, and Feyre responded with curt nods, and Elain followed suit. 

“Good. Get changed and be ready to go in five minutes. There are gear and weapons everywhere in this house.” 

That much was true. Even two years of domesticity and six months of newly wedded bliss hadn’t been enough to strip this home of its teeth. Elain had opened a drawer in the living room that she thought held books to find four sets of knives not three days ago. 

The chairs scraped back against the wood of the kitchen floor, and they split off in different directions, Nesta and Cassian whispering furtively as they moved swiftly to the attic, and Feyre and Rhys silent as they winnowed to what used to be their own room. Elain trudged back up the stairs to her room, and pressed her back up against the door as she shut it. She set her gaze upward and whispered a prayer. 

“If you don’t keep him safe,” she said, voice so low even her siblings’ fae ears wouldn’t be able to hear it, “I will come up there and tear you down myself.” 

With that, she set about pulling on her leathers and braiding her hair back, readying herself for battle. I will get him back, she repeated to herself, reminding herself of it over and over. I will get him back. 

She opened her door, Feyre waiting for her at the end of the hallway, and they made their way down the stairs together, faces sober. They turned to meet the group, just as a crash sounded in the family room. 

Elain jerked her head to the side as her husband’s scent–and the scent of his blood–filled the house. “Azriel,” she gasped, eyes unbelieving. She was next to him in an instant, and was met with a groan as he collapsed into her arms.

“Azriel,” she repeated, gasping, trying to hold him up, reaching for his face, his hands, anything she could reach, before she became hyper aware of the gash in his side. She tore the side of his shirt up to see the wound leaking poison and blood. She turned her head over her shoulder to see Nesta turning slightly green. 

“I have a set of medicine and supplies in the kitchen. Third cabinet in, on the bottom. Go, now,” she hissed, turning back to Azriel. Nesta ran out of the room, Cassian and Rhys already moving furniture out of the way so that Elain could get a clear workspace. 

“Table from–” 

“The dining room, got it,” Rhys replied, moving it with barely a flick of his fingers. “What can we do?” 

“Get him on it!” 

Azriel finally gathered his strength enough to speak, even as he leaned more heavily onto his wife. “‘Lain,” he groaned, and the single word sounded like it sapped everything he had in him, putting all of his weight onto Elain and then into Cassian and Rhys’s waiting arms. They hauled him up onto the table, his head flopping back over the side, wings dragging down to the floor.. 

Feyre and Nesta returned then, Nesta heaving Elain’s enormous crate of herbs onto the table near Azriel’s feet and Feyre clutching the medical supplies in her hands. 

“Rhys,” Elain gestured to Azriel’s shirt. “Hold him up. We have to get his shirt off.” 

He complied quickly, and then Elain was left staring at her husband’s poisoned wound. “Feyre, can you–” 

Her sister was already moving, producing a small knife from her belt to cut her hand to feed Azriel her blood. “Yes, of course. Can you tell what poison it is?” 

“I’m working on it. It’s not faebane because he definitely Walked back, so his shadows are still active…” Elain cursed as Azriel started to shake, and missed the shocked glance her sisters exchanged behind her back. “Hold him down. It’s hemlock.” 

“Can you fix that?” Cassian asked, bracing his arms across Azriel’s chest. 

“Of course I can fix that,” Elain muttered, already mixing together her antidote in the mortar and pestle Nesta handed her. “Feyre, water, please.” Feyre complied, forming a large droplet and placing it into the bowl, and then Elain was tipping the mixture into Azriel’s mouth, forcing his jaw closed, relaxing slightly when he swallowed. His breathing steadied, and the convulsions stopped. 

Elain stood up to her full height and pushed her hair back off of her face, turning to face her family. “Alright. That’s all we can do for now. He will be fine. You’ve all been incredibly helpful, and I love you all very much, but I would be very grateful if you would leave.” She turned back around to face Azriel, watching his face while he slept, tracing a finger down his temple. She could hear her family gather their things and leave, and when Nesta shouted a final goodbye, Elain took a steadying breath, and leaned down to kiss Azriel’s forehead. 

“I love you,” she whispered against his skin. “It’s time to get better now.”

------------------------------------------------------------------

Let me know what you think!! Comments/feedback/constructive criticism is always welcome. My ask box is open--let me know what you want to read next!

[vesanal]

₊˚｡⋆❆⋆｡˚₊The 21st Day of Writemas₊˚｡⋆❆⋆｡˚₊

Howdy everyone!! How are we doing today? It’s soooo close to the end of writemas we only have like 3 days left!! Crazy. If you are still interested in seeing the rules or wanna join here is the invite post! Today these are my prompts! <3

Prompts used:

Feeling: The hum of song

Narration: She watched the clouds swirl and dance high up in the sky, as free as the birds playing in their midst, as free as she would never be.

Today is going to be a little short because I’ve been a bit busy this week somehow. Have more Aerlyra because she is awesome and I love her to death :D And oops I got a little angsty on this one.

Read about the WIP here!!

Enjoy! Sending love to you all <3

------------------------------

Aerlyra sat at the edge of her chair, peering into the small, silver mirror that laid on the table in front of her, watching herself at work. Interviewing her curly, dark hair together was certainly a huge task for her to do. It was quite monotonous work. Each coarse tendril rubbed against her fingers so much that they were going numb. Looping one strand at a time of her black hair over another—repeating it again with the next strand to its side—into an intricate pattern, as she had to do three times over for each braid on her head. So much effort went into braiding together the thick strands. Arguably too much for its results.

Finishing one of the braids on the side of her head, she stopped for a moment to take a look in the mirror at her progress. Only two of the three braids were completed, with the hardest one in the back and the other on the side finally done. Aerlyra let out a sigh of relief. Almost over. She picked up the mirror on her table to inspect herself further, wiping away the curly stragglers off of her light face. The mirror proved that her work so far was serviceable, but nothing too unusual from its usual quality. She was just going to work then home again anyways, and it wouldn’t be all that visible from her from her winter coat’s fuzzy hood. 

Looking at her work from the reflection, she closed her eyes. She tried to just forget what it looked like. Perfection just brings pain, but yet, deep down, she still so desperately craved it. No matter how much she denied it. But, she knew she could never be, she was not even close to being perfect. It’s been proven time and time again. It was a hard truth she had to swallow, that she wasn’t going anywhere now, that she was a wash-up. 

Keeping her eyes closed, she placed back down the tiny mirror. She began to hum a song as she started on the last section of her unbraided to her right. She wasn’t sure where she heard the song. Music doesn’t come far enough to seek her here. Not many things did anymore. It was her own choosing, anyway. Tears welled in her eyes as she opened them to look at herself when her thoughts got louder.

Glancing out the window before she got up to get dressed, she watched the clouds swirl and dance high up in the sky, as free as the birds playing in their midst, as free as she would never be. She knew it, the tears reinforced that. It was the same as life back home. Nobody is ever truly free. The very thing she wanted to escape, or rather run from, had followed her all the way to her tiny cabin in the expansive woods, just outside of a nobody town that not even a Queensman bothered to occupy. 

Queensman. How she loathed that word. Not for what it stood for, but for what it became to her. Just another thing she didn’t have the guts to do. Another thing she failed to do. The taste of the word in her mouth made her feel worthless for even trying. 

Smearing the trails of tears off of her white face as she finished her hair, she threw herself off the chair, toppling over the chair along with her, and steeled herself for the upcoming day ahead of her. She couldn’t be late for work, she would like to eat that night.

------------------------------

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[keenestpeach]

Since I was a kid, but especially since high school, my life’s dream was to publish a novel. Like I wouldn’t feel I had accomplished anything until I did that.

And I used to write all the time. Probably not every day but most days. I have a doc from high school that’s 100 pages single spaced. Always working on the same novel that I could never seem to finish because the plot wasn’t working out. Every year my goal was to finish my first draft, and I never did.

And I still haven’t. The same story has been reworked and changed around a thousand times and I’ve never finished it. I’ve started other novels and never finished them. I hardly write now. I’ve written a few mediocre fanfics lately but nothing like the 1000s of words I was churning out as a teen.

I can think of a lot of reasons for it. I have a job, and an apartment to take care of. I have to make my own meals and drive myself everywhere unlike when I was 16. I have a smartphone and the internet which endlessly distract me. But I don’t think of that story that much. I used to imagine that story in my head every night to fall asleep. I don’t anymore. I don’t think of any original fiction. If I do, I only get snippets, a vignette, nothing cohesive. Nothing I try to flesh out or feel passionate about.

And I wonder if the reason I don’t feel this urge, this calling to write anymore is due to mental health— surely I was depressed and anxious as a teen and it peaked in college, is mostly settled now — but perhaps that has drained me of the vigor for it. Or maybe it’s just not something I want anymore. But that feels worse. That something I built my whole life’s worth and planning around for so long is no longer something I care about. How will I know when I’m accomplished if this is no longer the goal? How will I know where to go in life if I’m not striving towards this? Maybe I will write it some day, but as much as I tell myself to, I’m also never in the mood to. I never feel fully in the characters head or in the world like I used to.

I don’t know that this has a conclusion. I’m just sad that a passion I had is gone, and worry it hasn’t been adequately replaced. I’ll never accomplish anything grand in life, and I’m trying to tell myself it’s okay.

[redflannelsheets]

.

[fingertipsmp3]

Keep having recurring dreams that I’m in prison

[darnell-la]

What about if Logan made his partner squirt but they have never done that before and are pretty innocent and inexperienced so they are embarrassed initially thinking they peed or something?

summary: Logan comforts the reader in this story, making it known that if anything “nasty” happens, he won’t judge her.

———

How do you guys feel about a x men story with reader? Logan being rude Logan at first, then slowly shows small affection towards the reader. Jealousy and things of that sort. They soon hit it off, and after Logan starts acting rude again, because he’s scared of the love he grew for her. It’ll be a long story, but something to read at night. ALL ON WATTPAD! Comment below, please!

———

“Ssh, baby, just relax,” Logan whispered in his girlfriend’s ear after he slipped his tip through her entrance. “L-Lo,” y/n cried low at the instant stretch he gave her. Pleasure and pain shocked her whole body.

“It’s okay, baby, I know I’m a bit different than the others,” Logan spoke about his size as he continued pushing into the girl, looking into her glossy eyes as she tried her best to keep in her whine.

“That’s it, bub,” y/n finally took him all. “S-Slow please,” y/n begged, making the man nod. “Of course, baby,” Logan said as he slowly pulled back before pushing back in.

Y/n threw her head back with a cry, trying to take his size, but it was a new deal for her. This was her first time taking Logan, and he was so much bigger than the rest.

“Doin’ good, baby,” Logan assured the girl as her hands wrapped around his neck, trying to keep herself together. He smiled down at y/n, loving her reaction to him making love to her for the first time.

“Oh god,” Y/n said in an alarming tone. “What’s wrong, baby?” Logan asked, still thirsting as he rubbed her cheek. “I-I don’t know,” y/n whined as she clenched around the man, trying to hold in what was trying to come out.

“F-Fuck, baby, don’t do that. Gonna make cum faster than I want to,” Logan said, but she wouldn’t stop. She couldn’t. She didn’t want to stop this wonderful moment, but she swore she was about to pee.

“G-Got go to the bathroom, Logan. G-Get up,” y/n stuttered as she pushed at the man’s shoulders, but he wouldn’t get up. “Hey, hey, that's normal. You’re gonna cum, baby,” Logan said, trying to teach her about her own body as her heartbeat rose.

“P-Please, Logan,” y/n cried low, feeling her legs shake. “Just let it go, baby. Let it go,” Logan leaned over the girl's face as he placed his hands on both of her cheeks, rubbing at her tears.

“Logan,” y/n cried again as her nails dug into his shoulders and her cunt squeezed around him tightly. “That’s it, y/n, that’s it,” Logan repeatedly said as she came, soaking his lower body and bed.

“S-Stop,” y/n cried, not knowing what was coming, but it was too late. Y/n released around Logan with a loud cry as he sped up his thrust, snapping his waist to feel her body jolt.

“Oh, god, baby — So fuckin’ good,” Logan leaned into the girl's neck, feeling his own orgasm around the corner. Y/n has never come this fast. She’s never even squirted before.

Logan usually lasts a long time, but this was the first time he’s had sex with y/n. This was a different lust he was feeling, and he couldn’t hold back how much he wanted to fill her up.

“L-Lo,” y/n’s mouth parted as she continuously squeezed his cock and still leaking around him. “I just know you taste good, baby. I fuckin’ know it,” the man growled, cock pumping into her smoother, now that she’s all soaked and dripping.

“S-Sorry,” y/n said low, embarrassed, and not processing that Logan felt amazing. “Don’t apologize, baby. I know it hurts, just relax and take it. Almost there,” Logan groaned in the girl's chest.

“I’m s-sorry,” y/n cried out again as she moved around the man for the second time. “Augh, that's it. That’s it, baby,” Logan’s hips stuttered as his cock twitched in the young lady.

Y/n talked with Logan before they did this, telling him they should use a condom, but he told her he’d pull out.

Now that he sees how fucked out she is, he could take his chances to fill her up without her fully knowing.

“F-Fuck, baby,” Logan moaned as he bit down on her neck. Logan spilled into his girlfriend, filling her up as she whined beneath him.

In her head, she was scared that the man’s seed ran through her wall, but she was too fucked out to speak and tell him. She slightly didn’t care anymore. The pleasure through her body felt too good.

Logan continued his slow thrusts for a few more seconds before pulling out of her, groaning at the feeling of the last seconds in her walls, and the sight of her leaking all that he gave.

“You did good, baby, don’t cry,” Logan said as he finally looked into y/n’s eyes. “Hey, hey, c’mon, baby. I get you couldn’t take it, but it’s okay,” Logan felt scared that he probably took it too far.

“B-But I peed!” Y/n covered her face and curled in their bed, feeling dirty and nasty. “Baby, you didn’t pee — You came?” Logan said, confused.

“Baby, are you okay? Is something bothering you or on your mind?” He asked as he lay next to yo/n and pulled her into him.

“No, I just- That was embarrassing,” y/n sniffed. “Y/n, have you never quirted before?” Logan asked as he softly lifted her head so she could look at him.

“No,” y/n said low, making the man chuckle. “Baby, that was it,” Logan rubbed her cheek, wiping away her tears. “What? Oh, I- Oh,” y/n said, feeling instant release.

“And even if you did pee on me, I wouldn’t judge. Only means I fuck you good,” y/n whispered in her ear before pecking her cheek.

[hoonatic]

emergency contact | park sunghoon x reader

prompt: weeks after your breakup, sunghoon finds out that he’s still your emergency contact. pairing: non-idol sunghoon x implied female reader genre: angst with hopeful/happy? ending; second chance romance??; exes to lovers??? word count: 2800 note: i’ve had a cute fic idea that i wanted to write forever…but this is not it. the sad demons have visited me once again. hope y’all enjoy nevertheless and any feedback is much appreciated <3

sunghoon was miserable. 

it had been three weeks, five days, two hours, and thirty-two minutes since the two of you had gone no contact.

he wished he could say he was happy to be single, that he was no longer “locked down” and “whipped” as his friends had always called him. but the so-called “freedom” felt like hell since it meant losing you.

at first, he kept telling himself that time would heal the pain. “it’s natural,” he had repeated like a mantra, “she was your best friend and lover for years.” but no, this heartbreak was inhumane. his desire to see you, apologize endlessly, and spend days holding you until you could feel every ounce of his love was gnawing at his soul. if anything, it got worse by the minute.

he had tried so hard to balance work and the rest of his life, using the excuse several times that he was securing this future for your shared life with him. that one day, you’d be able to reap the rewards of his efforts and live comfortably together without stress.

but what was the use of all of that now? the future he had worked so hard to create was ripped out from his hands by no one other than himself. 

you had accused him of being too busy for you. dates canceled at the last minute, a birthday forgotten, and all the texts left on read had built up to the argument that ended it all. he was always good at fighting, a little too good. he had retorted that you weren’t being supportive, and he was never one to sugarcoat his words. his tongue was sharp, and he did nothing to dull its blade.

but there wasn’t too much yelling on your part, and he thought that that hurt more. he wanted you to fight back, to stand your ground because he knew deep down that he was being the asshole. his toxic thought was that by you fighting back, this meant that you were still fighting for your relationship. but instead, you just stared with silent tears and a blank expression. seeing the indifference in eyes that had previously held so much love was a sight that would stay with him forever. so, in fear of you leaving, he ran instead.

he was a coward, leaving your shared home to run back to the apartment he had still technically owned but hadn’t lived in for more than a year. he locked himself away for a few days, but the realization that you hadn’t attempted to contact him burned more than he could put into words. you were done with him. he had hurt you, had the audacity to be the one to run, and now he had lost you.

he had even run from his job. he couldn’t stand to walk into the same building he stayed in when he forgot dates with you. his coworkers wouldn’t stop asking what happened to him, why he looked so rough. he even found an empty container that had once held lunch you made for him. but his final straw was getting promoted. his first instinct was to call you, but he remembered the sad truth before he could dial. any ounce of pride was washed away with shame in that moment. that same day, he quit without notice.

so there he was: miserable, alone, and unemployed with nothing left to run from but memories. he had spent the last week going through his phone and saving your pictures together in a locked album. he wouldn’t dare delete them, but he couldn’t stomach looking at you either.

he wished he could get drunk and sleep away the pain. he had tried, he definitely did - but that night, he dreamt of you. you were smiling at first, eyes ever full of love. you were speaking, yet he couldn’t hear you. but he could see how your words started to gradually look sadder, and slowly, tears started to fall as your grin dropped. he woke up that next morning crying with the conclusion that he would have to face this heartbreak sober.

but another day of scrolling through albums had stopped abruptly when he saw the notification that changed everything.

SOS i called emergency services from this approximate location after my watch detected a hard fall. you are receiving this message because i have you listed as my emergency contact.

sunghoon had to remind himself to breathe.

he had purchased that watch for you as a “just because” present months ago. you had complained of bad sleep and he wanted you to use it as a way to track your slumber. he hated seeing you tired. he knew that the watch had a fall detection function, but it had never been used before.

his heart was in his stomach as he went to his favorite contacts page and selected your name for the first time in weeks.

“please,” he begged, all notion of running away from you leaving his brain, “pick up please.”

but you just weren’t answering. so he tried again and again and again.

for a moment while the line attempted to connect, he wondered if this was how he had made you feel for months - desperate for a sliver of attention from him. but instead, he was desperate for a sign of life.

finally, after about two minutes of trying to reach you, his body moved of its own accord. before he knew it, his car keys were in his hands and he was out the door.

the car ride there might have been the worst part. the speed at which he drove at almost defied the laws of physics. other drivers were cursing at him but he wasn’t registering anything except the thought of your safety. he just needed to get to you.

why did he run? why didn’t he try to talk it out? if he was so afraid of losing you, why did he do the one thing that would guarantee that? he should have been there like he promised to be from the beginning. you would have been safe with him.

when he pulled up to the house you had shared for so long, he suddenly felt the world slow down. why were emergency services there? you should’ve canceled them by now.

he had to double park as the ambulance was blocking the driveway. why were they here?

the emts and police had arrived at the same time as him, which both increased his anxiety and soothed him. for one, that meant he had been quick enough. but why did you need them?

“sir, do you know–” an officer had approached him as he stumbled to the front door. all he could understand was your name. why were they asking if he knew you? of course he knew you. you, the love of his life. you, his soulmate by every meaning of the word. you were you. and you were safe.

as if sensing his distress, he felt an emt worker pull him to the side as the same officer prepared to break down the door. seeing this, sunghoon finally returned to his senses.

“w-wait! sorry, i have a key.” sunghoon’s hands were shaking. the only way that door had unlocked was by pure muscle memory because he didn’t understand what he was doing at all.

as soon as the door opened, sunghoon tried to step in. finally, he was close to you. 

the officer, however, pulled him back.

“sir, you should wait here. we need to make an initial search before you can go in.”

“what, why? if she’s in there, i want to see–”

“sir, it’s just in case we find something we wouldn’t want you to see.”

all of sunghoon’s hesitation and fear went out the window at those words. his body flew automatically as he ran inside.

he screamed your name as he rushed in, ignoring the yells of the police officers who followed him in. as it had been for almost four weeks, his only thought was you. he just needed you.

he checked the ground floor first, eyes scanning the open space in less than a second as his body avoided an officer trying to grab him. sunghoon then moved to the staircase, long legs prepared to skip steps to reach you. then suddenly, he heard the voice his ears had been longing for,

“sunghoon?!”

his head shot up. there you were, finally. he saw the sadness, confusion, and fear all flash your face as you registered the emergency workers behind him. you looked exhausted and unruly, but he had never felt more in love.

he didn’t even remember climbing the steps, but suddenly he was at the top of the staircase and you were in his arms. 

you could feel him trembling as he held you. you took his face into your hands to look at him, “sunghoon? what’s wrong? why are you here? is it my parents? is someone hurt?” you watched as his mouth opened but no words came out. after a few seconds, one of the officers spoke from the bottom of the steps,

“ma’am, we received an alert from your device that a hard fall had occurred.”

suddenly, you understood everything. taking sunghoon’s hand gently, you led him down the stairs, afraid he’d fall from shock. he followed you silently, but his grip tightened seemingly with every step.

that’s when you noticed your shattered watch on the third step.

you let sunghoon go and you could hear his deep breath when you did. you picked up the watch and offered it up to the officer as an explanation, “i’m sorry officer, it looks like there’s been a misunderstanding…”

the officer nodded in understanding, and dismissed the emts, “got it, ma’am. we will still need a formal report for our records since this was registered as an emergency call.” he motioned to your couch as he took out a pen and paper.

you reached for sunghoon’s hand once more and led him to sit with you. in the moment, you knew he needed you more than you would ever understand. so, as you explained to the officer, you held his trembling hand, rubbing soothing circles with your thumb.

“i was doing laundry here downstairs and had taken off my watch to prevent it from getting wet,” you recounted, “i put it on top of the basket of clothes that i took upstairs. i remember tripping a little going up the stairs - i didn’t fall, but that must’ve been when the watch fell."

"what about your phone, where is it? i'm sure your boyfriend must've tried to call you."

sunghoon slowly nodded at that, turning to look at you. you smiled sheepishly, "i left it upstairs and it was on silent while i folded the clothes. i’m so sorry for the inconvenience.”

after finishing up your statement, the remaining officer prepared to leave. as he walked out the door, he gave a soft smile to the both of you,

“glad to see it was a false alarm, ma’am. you had this gentleman quite worried - ran so fast i couldn’t even grab him!” the officer laughed, “you two have a nice day now! sorry about your watch, though!”

after he shut your door, the silence enveloped your home. you closed your eyes and breathed deeply to prepare to speak to your ex-boyfriend. but as soon as you opened them, sunghoon started to cry softly.

he hugged you tighter than he ever had, and soon enough, his face was buried in your neck. his cries were silent, but you could feel his body shaking as his tears soaked your shirt.

“sunghoon…” you started, stroking his back, “i’m sorry i worried you, honey.”

you knew you shouldn’t be calling your ex pet names, especially an ex that had run from you without properly ending the relationship. but your heart still held so much love for him that it flowed out naturally. and you knew he was crying from more than just worry, so you doubt he minded at all in the moment.

his crying slowed down as his arms took to loosely wrapping around your waist instead. he pulled away from your neck to rest his forehead on yours. from this angle, you could see his swollen eyes and red nose - a sight so rare in all the years you had dated. he was never a crier after all.

but memories of several late-night conversations rushed your mind. he always said his number one fear was your death, and now you could see he had never lied about that.

he could see your mind go elsewhere so he called your name softly, “don’t say you’re sorry. i’m so happy, these are relieved tears. and i just really, really missed you.” he croaked out. you knew he had more to say, so you just nodded, letting him go on.

“and i’m sorry, baby. for everything. i shouldn’t have run, i shouldn’t have tried to egg you on to fight me back. i shouldn’t have even fought anything you said that night. you were right. i didn’t prioritize you. in my attempt to secure you for life, i let you go instead. i’m so sorry, i never wanted to break up.” he was rambling in earnest now, afraid that no words would make you take him back.

you listened quietly as he went on for a few minutes after that, hand continuing to rub his back, “i know honey, i know.”

“baby, you need to understand that i almost died thinking you almost died today,” you could’ve laughed at how dramatically he spoke, “i couldn’t breathe right thinking that our last conversation could’ve been an argument. that you wouldn't have ever known just how deeply i love you and need you. i have so much regret for how i treated you, but if you’d give me the chance, i have all the time in the world to make it up to you…let’s go on that vacation i promised you. we can leave tomorrow if you’d like.” he smiled hopefully at you.

“hoon,” his heart soared at the use of his beloved nickname, “what do you mean? don’t you have work? can you really leave with such short notice?”

“i quit my job.”

“excuse me?”

“no job that made me work that much is worth it. i’ll find one with better work-life balance…after our vacation. if that’s what you still want of course…” he spoke more quietly, as if afraid of rejection.

you sighed. you really should be realistic with this - you two had been broken up for a few weeks at that point. you knew the love was still there, but was this a good decision?

while there was still some hesitation on your part, you couldn't help but notice how gingerly he held you. his arms were still around your waist loosely, yet there was something desperate about their hold. you knew he was holding back from hurting you - you could tell how tightly he wanted to hug you.

he was so shaken up at the idea of you being hurt that he rushed over there despite the two of you not being on speaking terms. for someone who had trouble communicating how he felt sometimes, you knew his actions spoke louder than words. he always acted brave, but there was so much he feared. and you knew losing you was always at the top of this list.

you could also feel how he was simply soaking in the sight of your face. his eyes were shy, yet determined. he wasn't going to risk missing another second of staring at you. a part of you grew conscious, but you knew he was just taking in what he had missed for weeks.

“what about…” you started and almost giggled at how he perked up, “we take it slow - another two weeks or so to talk everything out and relax? to get us to a good place again before you hold me hostage in some foreign country?”

sunghoon smiled softly, kissing your forehead. you leaned in naturally to his warmth, to his touch that you missed so much. “that sounds like a great idea, love.” he spoke, “we’ll get you a new watch too. and i’ll do all the itinerary planning and packing whenever you’re ready, okay? i love you.”

“okay. and i love you too. can’t wait to enjoy your unemployment with you for now!”

one smile and nod from you had him taking you into his arms once more, relishing in your being. he was back where he belonged. he had experienced the scariest reminder ever that he needed you, and sunghoon was never letting you go now.

[foxy-eva]

Sweet Dreams

Summary: You fall asleep on Spencer on the way home after a long case

Request: Tired Reader and Spencer who are just co-workers with a lot of chemistry. Reader accidentally falls asleep on Spencer while they’re on the plane after a really long case

Pairing: Spencer Reid x GN!Reader

Category: Fluff 

Content Warning: none

Word Count: 700

Masterlist

A saccharine smile was painted over your face when you found your seat right beside Spencer on the plane. There were many seats still available but his nearness was so tempting that you couldn’t resist. 

Softly, you asked, “Mind if I sit here?” 

“No uh… Not at all,” Spencer mumbled, already overwhelmed with your proximity. 

The heat your body radiated warmed Spencer’s skin, making him yearn to feel even more of it. Ever so slightly, he leaned closer until his arm was almost touching yours. Basking in your nearness was everything he longed for, what he dreamed about at night and what kept him going through all the hardship of his job. 

Something so seemingly small as you unintentionally brushing over his hand when taking a file from him had the power to fuel his reverie about you for weeks. He wondered if you had already noticed how often he sought out your company throughout the workday. Certainly the rest of the team must have caught onto it by now. 

They were profilers after all. 

Derek sat down across from you, smirking at the man beside you when he noticed the rosy shade on his cheeks. “Shut up,” Spencer whispered before he even had a chance to say anything. 

Turning your head, you looked at him with confusion written over your face. “What?” you murmured.

“Not you,” Spencer clarified and you decided against asking more questions. 

The last case had been exhausting and you were glad you could finally relax for once. Leaning back further into your seat, you quickly noticed the harbingers of sleep approaching. Spencer watched from the corner of his eyes as you closed yours, content to finally see you at ease. 

He focussed back on the book in his hands until he felt a pleasant pressure against his arm. Already asleep, you found his side to support your body. Just a few seconds later your head dropped to his shoulder, having him freeze in his place. 

Breathing in your heavenly scent, Spencer started to feel drunk and he didn’t want to lose your nearness again. He didn’t dare to move and prompt you to wake up, so he just kept still even when his body began aching from the immobility. It didn’t matter, not when you seemed so comfortable like that. 

Your hot breath tickled Spencer’s neck, making his skin break out in goosebumps. Even if it was a silly thought, he still hoped that this moment would never end. How could he ever recover from finally feeling you pressed against his body?

“Loverboy,” Derek teased. “Don’t you wanna turn that page?” 

Spencer realized he had been staring at his book for many minutes without reading a singular sentence. He couldn’t care less. Turning his head, he dared to look at you. His heart began aching at the view of you curled up in your seat and leaning against him in an attempt to find comfort. 

Then, your body slightly jerked and you woke up, quickly realizing you were basically cuddling with Spencer. 

“Sorry,” you mumbled, your voice heavy with sleep. 

Despite your body’s objection, you attempted to sit up straight. That was when you felt Spencer’s hand grab yours. 

“Stay,” he softly spoke. “Please.” 

His words were so surprising that you were sure you must have been stuck in a dream. There was no reason to argue when he seemed so inviting and you were still so, so weary. Nodding, you leaned closer to him again once more. 

As if it was the most natural thing in the world, Spencer lifted his arm to wrap it around your shoulder so you could comfortably curl into his side, having your head rest against his chest. 

The sound of his heart beating against his ribcage could only be described as erratic but you didn’t mind. You were very familiar with the feeling of having your heart almost jump out of your chest whenever you were close to him. 

It was a comforting thought to know he felt the same way. 

Thank you for reading! Please like, reblog and leave a comment to show your support and help me stay motivated to write more stories!

Taglist: @adoredfromafar @grumpyy-bearr @frickin-bats @pleasantwitchgarden @cynbx @xserenax-13 @alexxavicry @samuel-de-champagne-problems @evvy96 @reidsbookclub @lover-of-books-and-tea @nomajdetective @matthew-gray-gubler-lover @castiels-majestic-wings

[entitled-fangirl]

He would burn the world for her.

Felix Carton x fem!reader

Summary: Felix and the reader don’t appreciate the looks Oliver is giving her. 

Words: 1,689

Warnings: Oliver is his own warning. He’s creepy to the reader. Making out in a bathtub- not super descriptive. Yelling, cursing.

Author's note: May god bless our souls for not only watching Saltburn but also reading fanfics about it :|

Masterlist

.........................................

Y/N was a usual resident at Saltburn. The girlfriend of Felix Catton himself, she often found herself spending her time at his family mansion during holiday. She had a family that loved her, sure. But it couldn’t match up to the things that Saltburn, and Felix, gave her. 

Oliver was one of those things. A seemingly loyal friend to her dear Felix. And she was overjoyed when he agreed to spend the summer at Saltburn with them. 

She sat on a lawn chair near the pool, a bikini adorning her body. She tilts her head slightly to the side, to see her perfect Felix in the pool. A graceful smile shows on her face as she moves back to relax in the chair. She hears the sound of splashing water and soon, a shadow is felt over her body. She moves her sunglasses down her nose to peer over them. Felix stands above her, his body dripping from the pool and a large smirk across his face. 

“Hi, beautiful,” he says. His smirk grows into a grin. He leans his tall body down, his arms reaching out to catch him against her chair. His frame towers over her more than it does when he’s standing. 

She meets him halfway, their lips touching in a gentle kiss. Her hand moves up to the back of his neck, lightly tugging at the hair there. He groans, pushing into her lips a little rougher. 

Farleigh gives a small laugh, “You two are too horny to be out here, right now. Go get a fucking room.”

Y/N pulls apart from him with a slight blush on her cheeks. Felix’s jaw clenches slightly, his head turning in Farleigh’s direction. “Don’t be jealous of what I have and you don’t.” He then leans back down to kiss Y/N as if no comment was ever made.

They made out for a little while, Y/N at Felix’s mercy. Not that he was ever a cruel lover. No, quite the opposite. He was very giving. He was a giving person in general, a quality his girlfriend admired greatly.

They pulled away from each other, Y/N slouching back against the lounger like before, and Felix going back to the pool. Her eyes closed as she heard the splash of his return to the water.

The moment was interrupted yet again, but by Felix’s voice, “Oliver! You getting in?”

Y/N opened her eyes at that to see Oliver’s answer. But Oliver’s eyes were on her. They had been on her. She could see that Felix’s question had broken his train of thought. Oliver shakes his head a bit, blinking. “Oh, uh. Not sure.”

Felix nods his head with a certain look. Y/N had seen it many times. It was a knowing look. He didn’t give two shits if Oliver got in the water, but he did care if the scholarship boy was looking at his girl a little too much. But he took that as an answer and went back to relaxing in the warm water.

But Y/N still felt Oliver’s gaze. It was quite uncomfortable now that she knew it was there. She tried to do anything to relax. She closed her eyes. She watched Felix. None of it would distract from the constant feeling of being watched by Oliver’s piercing eyes.

Hours passed and the family found themselves retiring for the night. Felix lead Y/N by the hand to his room, a routine the entire family was used to at this point. He closed the door behind them before turning around and placing his hands on her waist.

She sighed at the feeling, a relaxing end to the day. The day’s events were still bothering her, but she didn’t wish to bring them to her boyfriend’s attention. After all, Oliver was to stay here for a while, and the last thing she wanted was to cause conflict between the two.

Felix noticed the deep look in her eye. He let out a soft sigh, “How about a warm bath?”

Her eyes met his, “a bath?”

“Yeah. It’s been a long day. A warm bath might be nice. I mean we don’t have to-“

“-No. I want to. I do.”

He smiles, leaning down to kiss the top of her head before disappearing into the bathroom. The sound of the running water is heard soon after.

She sits at the end of his bed, running her hands through her hair to calm herself. It truly did bother her, but what if it’s nothing? She knows that Felix would burn the world for her, but she didn’t know if it was worth the world burning. Not over something so stupid as a stare from one of his friends.

He returned before she had even noticed. He pulled her hands from her hair, placing them on his chest. He pulls her up easily. “C’mon, love.” 

…

She is straddling Felix in the tub, their bodies close. Her hands are in his hair, and his are wandering over her body, admiring every part. Their lips are locked in a passionate kiss that is getting hotter by the minute.

Why was Oliver looking at her? Was he jealous? Perhaps just curious? Did he want her? Did he want Felix? Simply judging? What does the boy want and why? He was beyond impossible to read.

Felix at this point had slowed himself, seeing that she was not reciprocating his movements. His hands now rest on the side of her thighs, keeping her in place. He pulled away softly, his tone quiet and comforting, “What’s wrong, beautiful?”

She is pulled from all of her thoughts quickly, realizing he had caught on. “Nothing, Felix. It’s nothing, really.” She moves forward to catch his lips again.

He lets her for a moment, before his hands gently grab her face, pulling her away. “Don’t lie to me. And don’t try to deflect like this. I know something is bothering you. It has been. Please. Trust me?”

The sound of the water trying to settle is all that is heard in the bathroom at this point. She finally lets out a breath, “It’s not something you can fix. I can handle it.”

He pulls her face into his hands again. “Is it something I’m doing? If it is, I-“

How could she do this to him? He was now doubting himself, and it was all her fault. She felt awful. She had to correct this.

Her hands move to each side of his chest. “No, Felix. It’s not. I promise, it’s not. You’ve done nothing.”

He nods, his jaw clenching slightly as if he knows exactly what’s bothering her at this point. “It’s Oliver, isn’t it?”

Her hand reaches up to his mouth, a finger pushed to his lips. “Shh… he’ll hear us.”

He moved his head back from her hand. “I don’t care,” he says, “If it is Oli, I understand. I noticed it today, too. And it is a big deal to me if it bothers you, angel. It bothered me, but I figured I’d let it go if it was just me noticing. I’ll talk to him tomorrow.”

He was the sweetest thing she had ever seen in her life. Her eyebrows lifted, “You’d do that for me?”

He smiled, “‘Course. Consider it done.”

She smiled as well, moving her body against his. Her lips connected with his once more.

…

She woke up to the sound of yelling. She sat up in bed quickly. Her hair was a mess, her body in nothing but Felix’s t-shirt and her underwear. Her head cocked to the side as the sound continued. It was coming from Oliver’s bedroom.

It was Felix’s voice.

She never heard Felix raising his voice like this before in her life. It had been raised before, yes. But never like this, and never had it had this horrid tone in it. 

She pushed herself to the end of the bed, standing herself up. She ran towards his voice, opening the bathroom door and running through it to Oliver’s room. She opened that door quickly, her body standing in the doorframe.

This caught both men’s attention. They both turned to her. Oliver’s eyes widen at her attire before a smirk appeared on his face. Felix’s eyes softened as he saw her worried expression.

“Oh, angel. I’m sorry to wake you up,” Felix says, his usual sweet tone returning as if he wasn’t screaming seconds earlier.

Oliver chips in, “Yeah, sorry. Felix and I were just chatting about yo-“

A glare was sent to Oliver from Felix, shutting him up quickly. Felix turned back her her, his eyes comforting again.

“Go back to bed. Breakfast isn’t for another hour,” he said, stepping towards her.

She’s beyond confused at this point. Her hand rests against the doorframe, her eyes moving between the two men. “Is... Is everything alright, Fe?”

Felix sighs, moving towards her again. Now in front of her, his hand moves up to the side of her neck, caressing it gently. “Yeah. We’re fine. Back to bed now.”

Her eyes shift to Oliver again. He stands with a confident appearance. He has a smirk on his face, his eyes focused on her bare legs.

Embarrassed, she nods, moving backwards into the bathroom. “Alright. Good morning then, Felix,” her quiet voice says. She nods to Oliver, “Oli.”

She moves back quickly, but not quick enough, hearing Oliver quip, “Good morning to you, beautiful.” 

Felix head spins back to Oliver, his voice a growl, “Don’t fucking-“

That’s all she heard, for she had went back into Felix’s room, shutting both doors. She rested her head again, letting sleep overtake her as Felix had requested.

…

When breakfast time came, Oliver was nowhere to be found, but Farleigh had blabbed to her later that Oliver had left Saltburn in a rush before breakfast with at least a black eye and a limp in his step.

She twisted the fork in her hand, her eyes focusing across the table at Felix’s bloody knuckles.

He would burn the world for her.