#but still! milestone!!! so much more than 0!!!!!

[quoththemaiden]

Hellllll yeah. Just managed two sets of ten push-ups! New milestone!!

[moodymisty]

hi !! congrats on your milestone, you deserve it!! :D 💜

I saw the "accidentally saying a pet name" and I was immediately intrigued how that would go with Crosshair and Hunter if you're willing? :0 or just with Cross if it's to 1 character, I'm sorry if I confused smth HDJAHKF

SFW if possible? i just need smth cute atm aa

again congrats and I hope you're doing okay !💜💜

❀ Milestone prompts list ❀

Author's Note: Awww thank you so much!! I don't know if I deserve it, but I'm so happy that people enjoy my stuff! And no you didn't get anything confused, lets give Hunter and Crossy some love.

Relationships: Hunter/Fem!Reader, Crosshair/Fem!Reader

Warnings: None, Both pre-order 66

✦ Hunter ✦

You don't know why out of every thing you've done- Every hill you've climbed, stairs ascended and rocky path treaded, this one goddamn seam on the gangplank of the Marauder always manages to get you.

It's made you trip up multiple times, once so even ending up face planted in the dirt right in front of everyone else. Up or down it never fails to catch the toe of your boot, the moment you don't consciously remember to lift your feet up higher to avoid it.

"Are you all coming anytime soon?"

Wrecker groans, rolling his eyes when he realizes everyone isn't right behind him. He complains about feeling like he's starving, Crosshair and Tech both telling him to can it as they join him outside. That just leaves you and Hunter for last, having taken the longest to get ready.

The two of you walk out of the ship mostly side by side, and in your excitement to get some food, you fail to once again remember that little lip of metal that always trips you up. It catches the toe of your shoe and sends you flying forward, attempting to stumble and catch yourself.

Hunter jolts forward and grabs you at the waist, skidding forward slightly after catching you. Your hands are partly held outwards and you'd been prepared to catch your own fall, but Hunter's strong grip stops you halfway down.

"Woah, easy there sweetheart," He says the moment you have your feet under your center of gravity again. His hands grip your stomach and waist, the fabric of your top bunching and pulling awkwardly.

However you can feel the moment he realizes what surprisingly intimate word has slipped from his lips, removing his arms from you the second you have your bearings about you. He lets out a small cough.

"I, Uh..."

His eyes glance away from you, but when they look back, you're smiling.

"Thanks for the save, Hunter." He can feel his brothers eyes on him, even as he nods at you and attempts to hide the way his face feels a little hot.

✦ Crosshair ✦

If there is one thing consistent about Crosshair, it's that he always loves to call you names. Things like 'princess', illuding to your demands for specific things. Like wishing they'd pick up after themselves, or for the Marauder to not smell like bottled, concentrated 'man'.

But it's all laced with sarcasm and his overall brand of incorrigible ass, so you've never taken any of it seriously.

Afterall it seems as if he can barely stand your very being in the same vicinity as him, why would you let his words get to you? It's all just him being a jerk or at best, just teasing. Though at least most of the time he seems to barely stand you- other times he's far more talkative than you'd ever expect of him.

The pilot's seat creaks a bit as you lean back into it a bit more, pulling your legs up to tuck them beside you.

Crosshair is confusing; You can't ever seem to get a solid read on him or how he really feels about you.

"How long you been in here?"

Well now, speak of the devil.

You look to your side and see Crosshair standing between the pilot and co-pilot seat, looking out of the viewport at the stars and planets streaking past. He glances down at you for a moment, face still forward.

"I've been here since a bit before Tech left. Finally managed to get him to leave."

You manage to mostly hold back a yawn, but it still forces you to make a small noise in your throat. It's been awhile, and watching the ship in hyperspace is more than a little boring. If anything, the lull of the engines, bumping of metal on metal, and the soft glow of the safely lights on the floor have only served as your new favorite lullaby since you had made the Marauder your home away from home.

"I'll take over." His voice is curt, and steady. You look up and shake your head.

"It's fine, Crosshair. I'm not that tired." And you don't want the others to think that you shirked out on your duty, as much as they'd never think it.

Crosshair simply takes a step closer and put his hand on the headrest of the seat. He notices the way your eyes seem heavy, your body slouched.

"Go sleep, doll. I'll cover for you."

You're used to ignoring his words but, the softness of these ones strike you. When you look up at him in surprise however, he's already patched up the tiny little crack in his exterior he let crumble.

"Cross? What di-" He jerks his head in the direction of the bunks.

"Go." He leaves no room for argument, and so you get up and move to slip past him.

His face noticeably turns away from you, waiting until you're safely out of sight before he mouths insult after insult at himself for letting that slip, and almost embarrassing himself.

[fandoms-writings]

Hi, lovely!! I'm so excited about your sleepover and congrats on the milestone! No rush on the below request! ❤️❤️

1-

"stop staring." / "i can't, you're so pretty like

this" (0/2)

With TFATWS!Bucky if that's okay?

Thank you baby! I hope you enjoy ❤️

Pairing: tfaws!Bucky x hairstylist!Reader

Word Count: 423

Warnings: smut 18+ ONLY

come celebrate with me!

Who knew that when Bucky stumbled into your salon one morning, begging you to cut his hair, that you'd end up like this?

That first haircut had been the equivalent to a therapy session for Bucky. At the time, you weren't sure what was attached to those long locks, but by the way he carried himself, you knew it was something heavy, so you cut it for him. 

But he kept coming back.

He never let his hair get too much longer than a military cut, and you noticed he wasn't a fan of being in the salon when it was busy, so you stayed late for him. Making him the only client - the only person other than you - in the building during his appointments. Eventually he seemed more and more comfortable in the salon. Around you. 

He started bringing dinner to his appointments, knowing how you typically forgot to eat while you were working. It had become routine.

Then came the flirting, and who were you kidding, you loved it. You loved that he wanted to flirt with you, that he asked you out, and accepted your invitation to come into your apartment after he drove you home and walked you to your door after your date. 

Now, you were splayed out beneath him, pliant in his hold with his arms wrapped under your legs, using them as leverage to pull your hips harder onto his as he hit that perfect spot over and over. 

And just when you were about to fall over the edge, he slowed down and chuckled at the whine that left your lips, holding your hips still so you couldn't fuck yourself on him. 

"Bucky," You whined, looking up at him. You were going to beg him to move, to touch you, to do anything other than what he was doing, but his gaze locked on you stunned you, suddenly making you shy despite the position you were in. "Stop staring." 

"I can't," he let one of your legs go, resting it on his hip as he reached forward and grabbed your chin, rubbing his thumb along your bottom lip. You gasped when he thrusted again, taking the opportunity to slip his thumb past your lips, resting the pad of it on your tongue. "You're so pretty like this."

You moaned around his thumb when he leaned down, pressing even deeper if that was possible. His thumb pressed down on your tongue, saliva started pooling and he smirked. 

"I bet you look even prettier when you cum."

[quirkwizard]

Keystone-Ranking My Hero's Academia's Arcs

To All my Friends and Followers, I am proud again to announce another double milestone. Not only have I reached over 10,000 total posts on this blog, but I have reach over 3,000 followers. Who would have guessed this little blog I made for fun would have made it this far? Because I am frankly flabbergasted that this blog has made it this point. I thank all of you for your support and truly wish that I can make this blog something worthy of your dedication. For this momentous milestone, I once again decided to do a massive project. This time, it will be ranking all the arcs of My Hero Academia.

So before I begin, let's cover some ground rules:

-What I will be considering an arc, as well as where it starts and ends, will be defined by the Wikia, making for a total of twenty one arcs.

-This will mainly be focusing on the manga. While I will mention the anime here and there, it will not play any major role in how I rank these arcs.

-This ranking will be relative to the rest of the series. So if I put an arc lower on the list, I'm not saying it's the worst manga as a medium has to offer, just not up to the standards of the series.

-This will be a series of pros and cons covering each of the series with some notes. This will involve a lot of generalizations and summarizations of points, as well as maybe skipping out on what I don't have much to say, but is the easiest way to get my thoughts across.

-This will be looking at the arcs without the context of later ones. I will review the arcs on their own and will only consider what has happened before in the story when that arc came out. That means that certain events will not "ruin" arcs retroactively, but can be held against the arc they happen in.

-The Final War Arc will not be covered here. Not only because that arc is not completed at the time or writing, but is far longer then any other arc in the story and has so much to cover with it, feeling like there are several arcs going on all at once. Even if it was done, I would still cover it on it's own.

Without further ado: the ranking of My Hero Academia's Arcs.

Stars and Stripes Arc: (0/10)

-This entire arc is built around Cathleen, a one note character that doesn't have any interesting traits or arc. She was never established before, even when she should matter to characters like All For One and is suddenly the most important hero currently active.

-My worst fears are confirmed that Tomura is nothing more than a meat puppet for All For One. All his unique traits and character is under lock and key for this entire arc, leaving us with a very bland villain that I have no interest in reading.

-The whole fight is a forgone conclusion. Tomura can't lose because he's the main antagonist who is next to unkillable and he can't get "New Order" because then he would be way too powerful to beat, robbing the arc of any tension it tries to have.

-The fight itself is not interesting, which is a problem when most of this is a fight. It's Tomura getting ragdolled over and over again while Stars and Stripes keeps using her Quirk in a lot of empty spectacle. No real cleaver plans, just slapping each other back and forth.

-All these factors together rob any emotional investment a reader may have had in the story. So in spite of it only being seven chapters long, it feels like a total slog to get through, simply waiting for canonical filler arc to be done with so we can move on.

-"New Order" is a slap in the face to the entire power system. It's such a vaguely defined ability with what it can actually apply with its rules. It felt more like Tomura was fighting a wizard from a whole other series, adding on to the various frustrations in this fight.

-The main consequences could have been replaced with a single chapter. Just have Tomura writhing in a cave over his body rejecting "All For One" and have Nezu analyze and pick up information on him from the footage of the PLF War. It would have been so simple.

-The actual consequences of this arc are minimal at best. You could honestly skip this arc and not really miss much in the grand story of the series. Again, making it feel like a filler arc. It makes this whole outing seem wholly pointless in the broader narrative.

=I've said my peace on this arc many times over. I struggle to think of anything good about it. It was a chore to read the first time and it took so much willpower to not turn this into another giant rant. I honestly hope I never have to go through or think about this arc again.

Tartarus Escapees Arc: (1/10)

+I like the idea of this arc. Having Izuku regress into his self-destructive tendencies and isolating himself is a really good way to go with his low point. And this is well conveyed in the art, both in and out of costume, which I just want to is really solid this arc.

+Uraraka's speech was certainly a highlight. It's a great moment in her own arc about understanding and wanting to truly save people and gives her the relevance she has so desperately needed. Ending it with the narration of everyone being a hero was a good bit.

+I liked a lot of the bits with Stain, especially his talk with Toshinori. Having Stain, the man who misunderstands All Might the most, gives him the peep talk he needs to get out of his funk.

-The reaval of "Fa Jin" was such a massive miss for me. Not only does it not add anything to Izuku's arsenal outside of hitting even harder, it undermines one of the most interesting fights the series has had thus far by overpowering his enemy rather than outthinking them.

-There is little lasting consequences for some of the characters. Endeavor is an abuser that made a serial killer and Hawks killed a villain in front of everyone. They both say they're getting work done and everyone kind of moves on from it without issue.

-The concept of Izuku cutting off everyone around him, while interesting, wasn't anywhere near fleshed out enough. It's only a single chapter of him on his own before he's saved by the rest of Class 1-A. Kind of makes the arc's name feel like a misnomer.

-Bakugou's apology feels rather hollow given the actual phrasing and the lack of any kind of real response for Izuku. This extends to All Might, but to a lesser degree. These two are the most responsible for Izuku self-destructive mentality and it is quickly brushed to the side.

=Another arc that I've talked about before, but none of the good parts of. I think it's well above something like the Stars and Stripes up, but it's lack of real payoff for so much that was set up really shoots this all the way to the bottom of the list.

Quirk Apprehension Test Arc: (1/10)

+Aizawa has a solid character introduction and effectively sets him up. What seems to be a lazy bum actually hides one of the most strict and dedicated heroes in the entire series. A seemingly rough, pragmatic disciplinarian with a secretly good heart underneath.

+Having Izuku need to work under Aizawa was such a good move for his first day. He really learns just how much of a problem his power is going to be and how much personal responsibility a hero has. It's a good splash of cold water to Izuku's relentless optimism.

+This is the arc where we get Izuku taking on the name Deku. Not only is the moment around it cute and gives us his official nickname, but I like how it starts the trend of Izuku redefining his life, taking the mocking nickname, and making it the name of a real hero.

-The arc is strictly business, for lack of a better phrase. We don't get much expansion on the characters we know about or understanding of the other characters or their powers in spite of the fact that this test would have been the perfect place to introduce them to us.

-All it really has going for it is the one moment of Izuku throwing the softball with his finger. The ultimate, emotional climax is a character flinging a ball really far. I know that sounds like I'm being facetious, but there isn't a lot else happening in the arc worth talking about.

-We do get the early main trio of Izuku, Iida, and Uraraka interacting, but there isn't enough to go off of to get a real sense of their dynamic and characters outside of the basic traits we already established. Maybe how they view each other as people, but that’s about it.

-While the threat of expulsions is threatening for the characters, it's pretty empty from a meta perspective. We know that if Izuku was expelled, the series would be over. The reveal of the test being a ploy does give Aizawa some character, but makes it feel a little pointless.

-In the end, I'm not entirely sure what the point of the arc was. At least, enough to make it its own standalone story. Sure, Izuku develops the finger flicks, but that could have been shuffled to one of the other two arcs after this one and it would be fine.

=An arc that's ultimately a victim of its length. If it was tied into the arc proceed or succeeding it, it would have been fine. On its own, it doesn't really offer much value. I still think it has its points, but not enough to reach past this lull in the series.

Remedial Course Arc: (2/10)

+The interaction between All Might and Endeavor was great. Yeah, a lot of people forget that happened this arc. Endeavor is uncertainty of what to do and turning to his rival is good in it's own right and works as a good springboard for Enji's arc going forward.

+The other character work was fine as well. Bakugou learning to be less of jerk to people as he learns to deal with a younger version of himself is nice. The Shoto, and to a lesser extent Inasa, stuff wasn't as prevalent, but I think it's a good steppingstone in his character.

+I like the one-off chapter with Aoyama and how he connects himself to Izuku and how much their Quirks can cause issues. Giving a minor character like this a one-off chapter like this is a good way to flesh out these characters without taking up too much time.

-Speaking of important stuff, this arc introduces the Quirk Singularity. For what turns out to be such an important idea, I don't think it does the best job building the groundwork. Like there wasn't enough set up to it before or in this arc for it to make sense.

-This arc is very much removed from the rest of the story. I wouldn't mind that but doesn't really give us much in its place. Outside of the few bits I mentioned before with Bakugou and Endeavor, it doesn't feel like it adds much else to the world or story.

-A lot of this arc is more comedic. If the comedy doesn't work with you, it's going to wear down on you fast. Outside of one or two bits, I found myself stone faced at a lot of the gags. Which is really odd because I do think Hori can do comedy, but it's not done well here.

-These two issues create this odd back and forth with the arc. The interesting moments are either small or side pieces while the actual meat of the story feels superfluous. So it can be frustrating to read through this when all the good feels so buried under everything.

-Which I think leads to the biggest sin of the arc: it's so forgettable. Out of all the arcs I went over, it's the least I remember about, not even long after rereading it. Despite having some pretty important moments, I just mentally gloss over it.

=This arc gets a lot of hate, and I get it. It does feel like a pretty low stakes arc where a lot of aspects can grate on people. I can't muster much bile for it, and I still think that there are some redeemable moments here, but certainly earning a spot this low on the list.

Joint Training Arc: (2/10)

+I really liked a lot of the new Quirks on display. I think a lot were pretty neat, or at least unique enough to be intriguing. Plus seeing some of the Quirks interact across both classes makes for some fun moments and dynamics between the various characters in play.

+I do like some of the minor pieces of character we do get. Tokoyami's flashback about controlling Dark shadow, Shoto using both halves of his power, a beat in Momo gaining confidence again, and Monoma's backstory reveal are all solid parts of this arc.

+Round 3 is a major highlight of this arc. A tense battle where it feels like each character is giving it their all with sheer power or clever planning. It feels like such a big battle that is constantly changing, ultimately ending in a surprising, but satisfying payoff of a draw.

-This arc is too long for its own good. Over twenty-four chapters of characters engaging in a consequence free training exercise where the plot isn't really developing outside of a handful of moments. It really wears down on you fast, especially week to week.

-As for these fights, I think a lot of them are pretty mediocre. Whether it be because of the low stakes, the lack of real emotional moments, or simply how the Quirks are used, I found it difficult to really invest in the fights. That is a big issue when most of the arc is fighting.

-Outside of Monoma and Juzo, there is very little in the way of meaningful development for Class 1-B in this arc. And if there was any point in developing these characters, this would be the time. It feels wasted, making the characters feel more like vessels for the powers.

-I really don't like the Round 4 fight. What comes across as Bakugou's big development rights hollow. Not only is the other side kneecapped to make Bakugou look better, but it doesn't really feel like Bakugou learned how to actually work with other people on this.

-To this day, I still have mixed feelings on the "Black Whip" reveal. I don't mind the concept of Izuku with multiple Quirks, but it wasn't built up enough to make this a worthwhile pay off. It seems more like Hori did this in because he ran out of ideas for what to do with Izuku.

=While I certainly don't think this is the worst arc, I can wholly understand why people are so frustrated with this arc as it was happening. There's very little in the way of plot or characters, so it ends up feeling like it drags out too long for its own good.

Provisional License Exam: (3/10)

+I like a lot of the world building in this arc. This whole rescue operation part of the test really shows just how important the non-fighting parts of hero work are, like how you act around civilians, which helpfully sets up how things are headed post All-Might.

+I liked Inasa. His design is great, his power is cool, and he has such a fun personality that you can't help but want to see him. His role is interesting as well, having Shoto's worry about being like his father externalized in someone who sees him only as Endeavor's son.

+I enjoy a lot of the development with the class. Things like the Super Moves, the dorms, and the bits spread throughout the arc does a lot to flesh them out. Obviously, the biggest bit is with Izuku and Bakugo, their battle showing how much them and their dynamic changed.

-The arc is not paced that well. This section is twenty-three chapters long, but it feels so much longer with how everything drags on and not a lot of interesting stuff is happening in them until the very end of the story, whether that be with the fights or the characters.

-The fights aren’t that amazing. It’s not that interesting to see 1-A fight a bunch of jobbers. And when they do fight more prevalent characters, I don’t feel engaged with it. A lot of the action are resolutions to the fights aren’t clever or have a lot the emotional impact they usually do.

-The new characters aren't that well developed, even as far as one-off characters go. Aside from Inasa, there's barely anything to go off of for them. It feels less like an expanded cast from all these schools and more like bloat that Hori didn't know what to do with.

-As much as I like Inasa, I think his whole thing with Shoto is kind of dumb. Like Inasa somehow carries this undying grudge against Shoto and his father because both of them look angry at him. And the resolution ends up being rushed in spite of the focus it gets.

-While I do praise Izuku vs Bakugou, I recognize that it's focused way too much on Bakugou. This feels like it should be doing something for both of them, but a lot of the attention in and out of story is on Bakugou, making it feel incomplete and diminishing Izuku's role.

=For all the buildup of these characters becoming heroes, them pulling it off seems… underwhelming. Which honestly feels like a good way to describe a lot of this arc. A lot of potential for something big and impactful that just didn't stick the landing.

UA Traitor Arc: (3/10)

+The traitor reveal was handled so well. The reveal and backstory were great and I think adds a lot to Aoyama's character. He wasn't an evil pawn, but a terrified kid who was forced into a deal outside his control, now horrified over the safety of himself and his family.

+The villains had some good moments. A lot of it is set up for next arc, but Toga and Spinner especially had the most interesting bits here, with Toga expressing her complicated past and feelings while Spinner is pushed into a role he never wanted for his friend.

+I enjoy the bit with Izuku and Urakara near the end of the arc. It honestly refreshing see these two connecting with each other again and what they talk about is solid stuff, trying to come to terms with their own conflicts feelings about wanting to save the villains.

-In spite of my liking of the reveal, it's far too late. Aoyama's actions as the traitor haven't been a factor pretty much since Kamino onward. So when this reveal comes, it doesn't have the emotional weight it feels like it needs, especially for such a minor character.

-There's very little fall out for Aoyama being the traitor. Besides how it's entirely beneficial for the heroes, no one else really reacts to it and there isn't any fallout. Not even Bakugou, the students most affected by it. It makes 1-A feel like a hive mind rather than their own people.

-In fact, a lot of this arc relies on the reader still being invested in the arc, Aoyama as a character, and there being this powerful bond between whole of the class. There's a lot riding on the emotional core which hasn't been set up as well throughout the rest of the story.

-There are some residual frustrations from the Dark Hero Arc. In spite of all the major moves the last arc did, there is barely any follow up on most or anything with the characters taking a break. We're skipping all that for more training and getting right to the next plot point.

-The villain stuff was good but did suffer from some clunkiness. I didn't really feel like it told us anything new and what it did add felt confusing at points. Did you know that Tomura and Spinner were best friends? I didn't know Tomura liked the guy.

=So I feel like I'm one of the few people that actually like how Aoyama was handed, which elevates the arc above a lot of the later parts, but I still think it's mire by the same issues of this part of the story. It had its moments, but that's all it really had to offer.

Final Exam Arc: (4/10)

+I think the idea of the arc is pretty strong. Not only do we get to see more of the teachers in action, but it’s a cool watching the students go up against the worst opponents possible, with each one needing to overcome some kind of weakness in order to nab the win.

+The fight with Deku, Bakugou and All Might was good. It's their low point, with the two literally and metaphorically trying to overcome All Might, and only able to do so by learning from each other, effectively pushing the both of them forward in their own development together.

+The Momo, Shoto, and Aizawa fight was pretty good. While not as well established in the manga, I do like the confidence issues between the two and how it ties into their leadership abilities. Again, it's a good example of the two learning and growing from each other.

+The ending scene at the mall was well handled. It's such a great one eighty from the tone and really raises the tension. Then there's the set up with Izuku and Tomura's clashing ideals, ending with Tomura truly realizing his goal. All around good stuff.

-The structure of this arc is a mess. All the fights are happening simultaneously and there is constant cutting back and forth between them. This means that all the fights struggle to build up any momentum before quickly cutting away at the most jarring of times.

-On that note, the fights aren't that impressive barring the two I mentioned before. They don't really have anything to offer in either story or spectacle. It's a bunch of pretty basic fights where we are given focus to some of the blandest characters in the series. -While this arc is built around the students going against their worst opponents, there isn't a lot of interesting growth or dynamics. Of all the side characters, we got Mineta and Koda, who aren't that engaging to read about, nor are they developed in engaging ways.

-In spite of the greater focus on character and having tangible threat of loss, this still suffers from a lot of school arcs suffer from. An educational setting like this doesn't have much tension to it. All we really have are the fights, which aren't that good.

=Yeah, this is quite the rough patch between a lot of stellar arcs. I hoped that it was merely a victim of placement, and it had its good points, but that arc is such a mess that it's hard to get much out of it. Not the worst, but not one that I am eager to revisit.

MLA Arc: (4/10)

+The MLA is an interesting concept. A political cult wanting to give power back by letting people use their Quirks without oversight. There's a lot of interesting perspectives for that topic, both in and out of the MLA, for why people may or may not want this to happen.

+Tomura is easily the MVP of the arc. His speech to Garaki was good, but his backstory with the highlight. Seeing the sheer lengths that the world, his family, and All For One poisoned Tenko into this being of pure hatred was equal parts engaging and tragic.

+Toga's backstory was good as well. While I have my issues with how nebulous Quirk Therapy is, that ultimately doesn't detract from it. It sets up the ideas of love and it's the expression and repression that prevail in her character and their importance going forward.

+I like Re-Destro in this arc. He parallels Tomura as a rage-fueled heir to a criminal legend, but contrasts it by being someone who is totally in control of his feelings and power, as well as being successful as running the empire that was left behind by Destro.

-This arc introduces Awakenings. I have never liked this concept, even when it is first revealed. It felt more like a lazy way to give characters power ups when it was convenient. This was especially the case with Toga, even if it fits with her whole love theme.

-The MLA Executives aren't interesting villains. They're one note obstacles to the LOV. I get not every character will get focus, but you think the heads of this massive group of would be given some depth, especially with a basis of the MLA has so many angles to cover.

-The barely functional LOV somehow beating and taking over the biggest group of villains in the country is such a massive leap in threat and scale. For them to survive the fight, let alone totally dominate, feels like Hori needed to hand them the win for the story.

-Following that, this is where a lot of the rushed pacing. It seems as though that the story and characters are trying to rush the story as fast as possible to get it to the point where it needs to be rather than taking its time to make sure all of the steps are set up beforehand.

=I know this arc is a fandom darling, but I really don't care for a majority of it. For me, it's few strong moments to hold up this ultimately weak arc. Especially since it's where a lot of the flaws of the later half of My Hero Academia came to the forefront for me.

Battle Trial Arc: (5/10)

+The arc does a good job of establishing the weight of heroics in the world. While Aizawa laid the foundation, showing how the students failed in the trial in their own ways shows just how much pressure that goes into hero work. The recap of all the flaws and mishandling of the training exercise is really neat.

+This does a great job of showing off Izuku's value as a fighter and as a character. In spite of having the strongest Quirk around, his brain is his most valuable weapon, able to plan around somehow who vastly outclasses him. His vocal declaration of Deku being the name of the hero is such a simple yet powerful moment for him.

+In fact, that fight itself is super neat. Izuku has a limited ace in the hole, but Bakugou has a massive advantage in skill and a psychological edge. Meanwhile Uraraka has to deal with the villainous Iida. It makes for a fun dynamic in the fight on how everyone plays off each other in personality and powers.

+All the character establishment is well handled, something hard for any series. We get a solid mix up of the dynamic between Izuku and Bakugou, good understanding of Iida and Uraraka while having foundational moments for Shoto and Momo. Plus, Ojiro and Hagakure had a cute little moment in there as well.

-None of that is extended to any of the other characters. Again, with all of these characters together, it would have been a really good chance to establish more about them as an ensemble cast. Even if it was only in minor ways like the previous examples it would have helped a lot going forward and made them feel less like cut outs.

-By extension, we only got the one fight out of the arc. Look, I'm not asking Hori to make five extra chapters here. All I'm saying is that I think that it would have been a good chance to get a better showing of the characters’ abilities and personalities by having them fight and bounce off each other before moving forward.

-Look, I know I keep harping on the art, but its flaws become a lot more apparent when trying to do action scenes. It can make certain motions seem a lot more awkward than cool. Again, this may just be hindsight, but it was pretty distracting coming back to read this seeing how much the art hindered the experience.

-The structure of this arc is so bizarre in how it's laid out. The actual order of the panels seems like things are happening oddly or even out of order. Seriously, go back and read the lead up to Izuku confronting Bakugou at the end. It's janky as all get out. This is not helped by the pretty sloppy artwork with the characters.

=The first real fight of the series and it goes off with a bang. I do think this fight is a highlight of the early series, delivering powerful emotional moments and unique dynamic, both in combat and character. Though the series is still green and the early flaws of the series being the most prevalent here really holds it back.

PLF War Arc: (5/10)

+Izuku has some of his strongest character work here. Push to the brink, he regresses back to that totally destructive mindset and constant doubt of his early series version. And having the arc resolve with him having empathy for Tomura after everything he did is just great. No issue with how he was handled this time around.

In fact, I think a lot of the character stuff is pretty strong. Bakugou gets a nice moment by saving Izuku, Enji has to go through some of the harshest development when faced with Tomura and Dabi, and Uraraka is confronted with the most moral complexities of villains. And hey, the arc actually got me to like Miruko.

+The rest of the villains were solid as well. I really like the stuff with Hawks and Double. It works as a nice microcosm of a lot of the conflicts about heroes and the world's inability to understand villains and their issues. Toga's growth and confrontation Uraraka over understanding hero’s savings villains is all around good.

+The Dabi reveal was amazing. What was such a predictable plot point was turned into this amazing reveal, doing a total one eighty and Dabi's character for me. You take this melancholy loser and make it so he dances and reveals in all the suffering he is causing Endeavor. It's great to see it pay off in such a bombastic and impactful way.

-This arc continues the unfortunate trend of Tomura's power creep. His already insane level of power has skyrocketed without any sort of in between. And Tomura getting possesed is one of the dumbest things to happen in the story, robbing Tomura of all his character and agency in favor of someone else stealing his spotlight.

-Not everything is great on the heroes' side. Midnight's death is one a terribly handled aspect of the story, made even worse by Gran Torino somehow surviving and is the only notably causality on the hero's side. And while I get it's supposed to be Kirishima's moment, having Mina set up and undermine like that feels mean spirited.

-Some of the villains in this were let down. All of the relevant MLA members get off screened. I get they aren't the most important, but you think there could be someone more. Then there are the High Ends. You introduce a squad as dangerous as Hood, have them be an issue with one hero, and then kill them all. What was even the point?

-Aside from the Dabi reveal, all the other ones fall flat. Mr. Compress' backstory is here and gone. Oboro is a literal who that requires supplementary material to know who he even is. Mirio comes back with little fanfare and contributes next to nothing in his fight. And Best Jeanist's return raises so many questions, and not in a good way.

=I get this arc is super popular, but for me, it's one of extreme highs and extreme lows. When it's good, it's really good, but when it's bad, it's pretty awful. It's like for every positive, there's an equal negative in the same field. I ultimately believe that the good outweighs the bad, but not enough to make me rank it any higher.

USJ Arc (6/10)

+This arc goes zero to one hundred real quick and it's great. We go from low stakes practice to everything going wrong. The villains are attacking, the adults are out of commission, and All Might is nowhere around. It does a really good job of making this tension situation with real danger, making the pays off that more powerful.

+This is where we get more from the UA characters, doing a surprisingly good job of characterizing a lot of them in spite of having such a short time span, giving a lot of their characters their own moment to show off. Same with the teachers, with us getting more layers to the teachers, like Aizawa genuine care of the students.

+This is where a lot of Izuku's major character traits come about, really show off how much of natural leader he is and just he proficient he is in planning. What's more is the self-image and self-destructive issues come to light, such as giving up the president spot and when he tries to save All Might, adding a lot more to his own character.

+All Might is handled really well in this arc. Not only does it give us a deeper glimpse into his character, but just how he's handled thematically. It goes a good job of showing All Might's power with how he and how hopeless things are without him yet gives us a reminder that power is fading and is one a time limit.

+This may just be hindsight, but I like Tomura for this arc. He's the big bad but is almost constantly undermined and humiliated at every other turn, both physically and ideologically. It's a subversion that's hilarious in the moment but does set him up well for further development and helps parallel him with Izuku's own growth.

-Again, a lot of the early series flaws are present here. It legitimately feels like there are panels missing from the pages or that the panels are really awkwardly structured, such as a having a big moment in a tiny panel or panels not flowing well from one to another. It can make it a very jarring read and takes a lot from the experience.

-Man, for being the climatic fight of the arc, the actual battle with the Nomu and All Might feels super underwhelming. It may just be that the anime spoiled me, but it lacks a lot of impact a fight like this needs, the art doesn't convey the action, and is over pretty quickly. It makes the ending feel pretty flaccid, especially for the first big arc.

-While the main players of the villains’ side are cool, it does feel like a lot of minions leave some to be desired. Seriously, outside of Izuku's group, it doesn't feel like any of the students are under real threat from the horde of minions. It can make it seem like a lot of initial villains were pretty empty outside of the three heavy hitters.

=A big arc that finally expands the world and threats outside the school. Which it does a pretty fine job of. It's not exactly the same high of the anime, but it isn't too bad either. I think it works best when you see it as the punctuation to set up for the greater story. Now that it's done, we can start moving on to the real meat.

Endeavor Agency Arc: (6/10)

+I like the opening chapter about interviews. Besides the fact that most of the gags land and how I've really wanted to see the kids learn stuff like this, I really like the world building behind Super Moves. That they aren't just aces in the hole for a hero, they are a means of brand recognition that help solidify a hero's image.

+The Christmas part was just plain cute. I'm all for the characters doing non-plot stuff like this and I like a lot of the gags with it. All the different gifts people get, the background gag of Mina trying to dress Bakugou, and Eri getting all the holidays mixed up. It's a fun little break that doesn't mess up the plot or pacing too much.

+The family drama was well handled. I think it's interesting how Hori handled the family dynamics of the Todorokis. He gave each of the members their own perspective on a complicated situation, but doesn't invalidate any of them, nor does he try to quickly redeem Enji or say that any one of the family members needs to accept him.

+In fact, Enji is great this arc. Besides the small ways he is humanized on a more personal level and the natural dynamics he has with the characters, it does a great job by trying to separate the ideas of atonement and forgiveness in the arc and what the two really mean, something I believe is key to understanding Endeavor's story.

+The pacing of the arc is near perfect. Everything gets the attention it needs in the time it needs and nothing feels like wasted time or out of place. It goes a great job of setting up the next arc with Hawks' spying and Tomura's growth without detracting from the current plot.

-For an arc called the Endeavor Agency, there isn't a lot of time spent at the agency. The trio isn't learning about being heroes or having their characters really bounce off each other, whether it with their Quirks or overall personalities, skipping right to the end of it. It feels like a lot more could have been done with these three together.

-There are some worrying trends that come with this arc. Like how instead of getting anything with the agency, everything was frustratingly skipped over in a time jump. Then Izuku learns how to use "Black Whip" way too fast, mastering this wild power in a week. It contributes a lot to the rushed feelings of the later arcs.

-Ending is super lame. His design is middling, his power isn't that great, and his whole motivation is just worse Stain. I wouldn't harp on him as much if he were a bit villain, but Hori could have done more with him considering his importance to this arc. Heck, Starchild was more interesting and he's barely in this story.

=An arc that is often lost and forgotten by being sandwiched between two larger, series defining arcs. Which is a real shame because I think it offers quite a bit with all the drama doing on with the Todorokis and the levity of the early chapters. All around a pretty solid arc and does a lot to set up the next big arc well.

Entrance Exam Arc: (7/10)

+If I was rating solely on chapters, Chapter 1 would get a perfect ten. It does such a good job of setting up the world, the characters, the themes, the tone, and the conflicts in the amount of time it has. It's such an amazing foundation for everything going forward. It's honestly impressive all the leg work it does this early on.

+The exam is set up really well. Having there be Hero Points and the Level Zero robots was a smart way for Izuku to have his cake and eat it. He still gets to have his moment of heroic sacrifice, but it was that noble spirit was what got him that spot in the first place. Him finally getting in is such as powerful emotional moment as well.

+The whole reveal of "One For All" is such a good endpoint and hook for the series going forward. Izuku may have been gifted the greatest power in the world, but now has to deal with some of the most dangerous drawbacks in the whole series to limit it, still keeping the stakes giving him plenty of room to develop his power.

+The arc does emotional moments really well. All Might telling Izuku he can be a hero, Izuku triumphantly standing on top of the trash pile, to him rushing to the forefront to save Uraraka. Again, in spite such a limited amount of panel time, it makes each moment feel so much bigger and more impactful then it has any right to be.

+On that note, it does a great job of endearing and connecting you to characters. Izuku's position as an underdog is immediately sympathetic, as is All Might's unenviable role as the top hero. Which I think is a real achievement given how early we're into the manga and how hard it can be to establish characters in the beginning.

-As for the rest of it, most of it's just Izuku training and doing the exam. That's it. It's not terrible and it really goes to show Izuku's dedication to being a hero, but it's not something to really write home about. This could simply be that the first chapter was that good, but it's not as exciting going forward.

-Some of the early art is kind of rough. This could just be because I'm more used to the cleaner style of the later chapters, but it comes across as rather jagged for a lot of the characters. This doesn't feel like a intentional style choice, more of a series finding its footing and with the art style and designs needing refinement.

-This extends to the major players of this arc. Again, benefit of hindsight, but it they seem more like exaggerated versions of themselves. All Might comes across as a lot more callous, and even with the worst version of himself, Bakugou telling Izuku to jump off a roof seems really out of character for him.

=Ah, back in the days that My Hero Academia was the little manga that could. First impressions are equal parts important and difficult, so it really is an accomplishment that the arc is as well put together as it is. It all works as a great foundation for the story. With such a strong start, it's no surprise that it got pick up for more chapters.

Pro Hero Arc: (7/10)

+While the last few arcs did some leg work, the Pro Hero Arc did a lot of the heavy lifting when it comes to Enji's character. It takes this one note antagonist and actually makes him the underdog hero while still acknowledging all the bad stuff he did. It's honestly impressive how well this was pulled off given its starting point.

+The fight of Hood was great. Not only does it involve two of the most visually interesting and versatile fighters we've had thus far, giving a lot of ways to mix up the fight, but it manages to pull out some really strong emotional moments. This mixed with the pitch perfect pacing, and stellar art makes for an enjoyable experience.

+Hawks is such an enjoyable addition to the cast. Not only does he have an amazing design and power, but he’s also such a fun personality to hang around with. What seems like a total slacker, goofball is one of the most perceptive and skill heroes around. You're just interested in seeing what he does and how he bounces off Enji.

+And then it all gets flipped upside down by the end of the arc. Hawks was a kid raised to be a hero and is now going to infiltrate the League. Not only does this raise a lot of intrigue for the upcoming story, but it feels like such a massive upset from what we've seen of Hawks and the hero world as whole to have this happen.

+The out of battle stuff was nice as well. Besides Izuku getting his first fan in Kota, the fall out of the Todoroki's was well handled. In spite of his attempts at redemption, Enji's still hurt people and they aren't going to forgive him. It would have been so easy for quick forgiveness, but this makes Enji and Shoto's story all the stronger.

+The flash backs we got at the end with Izuku were pretty cool. It's interesting to see All For One in his younger years and how his empire camp to be. In the frightening world of Quirks with desperate people, his power to give and take power made him a king. It's a unique way to put him in power while still fitting within the world building.

-The other pro heroes have… neat designs. Look, for an arc that's supposed to be about the top heroes of Japan, there is shockingly little shown outside of Hawks and Endeavor. While they are the main characters, you couldn't have thrown a bone to the other characters? Maybe even revealed their Quirks or show off their personalities?

-Hood isn't that amazing of a villain. He's certainly a physical threat, but the fact that he's an intelligent Nomu doesn't really factor much into his character. He wants to fight, but that doesn't really give us much to work from. It feels like Enji is fighting some reflection or contrast and just something he needs to set on fire.

=Yeah, this was surprisingly good. The fact that Hori was able to turn around Enji’s to this degree is really impressive, but I do think that there is a lot more going on with the arc. It’s a good break from the main cast to flesh out the world and develops a lot of interesting ideas and plot points with the introduction of Hawks.

Culture Festival Arc: (8/10)

+Gentle and La Brava are great. They're so wonderful and different from everyone else. Their status as total jokes, both in and out of the series, betrays the fact that both are competent in their own ways and have a lot of care for one another. They're good set up for the later humanization of the villains of the series.

+I like the fight between Gentle and Izuku. Gentle's power is so cool to see in action and leads to an interesting fight dynamic. He isn't stronger than Izuku, but he's so tricky to deal with that it gives him an edge. It feels less like a brawl and more of the two trying to outfox each other, making it more distinct from other fights.

+This works as a good breather and much needed break from the more dower tone for the last few arcs, making for a comforting read. On that note, this is hands down the funniest arc in the whole series. Gentle and La Brava alone would qualify this arc for it, but a lot of the students have some good gags sprinkled throughout.

+I like a lot of the character bits we get. Not only does this arc actually develop Jiro and Eri, but it ties well into some of the general themes of the series. With how everyone is battered after the raid. It shows the kind of pressure that heroes go through and the importance of other kinds of heroics like Jiro's music.

+Not only does the arc establish the point of heroes saving people without fighting in Eri and Jiro's storyline, but the humanization of villains I mentioned before. La Brava and Gentle are both sad victims of circumstance who found strength outside the system in each other. It's affectively a microcosm of the major villains of the story.

-As much as I like this arc, I can admit it goes through kind of a whiplash plot and tone wise. Going from the Shie Hassaikai Arc to this is still pretty jarring to have everything stop and be light on both. I still like it, but I sometimes get the feeling of looking at my watch and wondering when things will be moving forward.

-There really should have been more exploration of the students. If you're going to do a plot light arc based around the school, it would have been a great time to see more of the students. If not from Class 1-B, who are major focuses of the next arc, then at least some of the lesser seen students could have had something going on.

=Probably one of my more controversial picks. I know this arc gets dogged on a lot by the fans, but I think that is wholly underserved. I thought it had a lot of value, even beyond its lighthearted story. And hey, I'm fine with taking breaks from the plot if I believe what's happening is worthwhile, and I certainly think it's worthwhile.

Sports Festival Arc: (8/10)

+In spite the low stakes of sport events, the arc manages to keep the tension up and mix things up with all the strategy and powers at play. Sure, running an obstacle course or doing a cavalry race isn't that cool on paper, but actively fighting against a horde of another students all with their own powers keeps it interesting.

+This arc really shows off some of Izuku's finest qualities. It was interesting seeing Izuku try and plan his way around the events given his huge disadvantages and amazingly shows off his character. Everything from his planning abilities, his skill in leading other people, and his genuine desire to save other people.

+Shoto was certainly the dark horse of the arc. While set up to be important early on, I don't think anyone could have predicted just how well his character and back story was done. That backstory really starts to delve into the darker themes of the story with his father, one of the top heroes, being an abuser that used his kids as tools.

+Of course, the Shoto vs Izuku fight is amazing. There is no contesting this. This is one of Izuku's most defining moments, effectively throwing away at chance at winning just to save Shoto. It ends in an emotional climax of Shoto regaining his power and Izuku losing, making for an subversion that makes sense and is satisfying. +The other side character work is done well, giving us more layers to them. Like hints of Iida's more vengeful side, Uraraka having this frightening amount of drive, and Bakugou showing some real respect to other people. It helps to subvert and expand on the characters, all while delving into more of their motivations and goals.

+This character work extends into more world building, especially with the new side characters. Shinso do a lot to build up the unfair the world can be in regard to Quirks while Mei introduces other aspects of the school and heroism as a whole. And this is all while they're both still fun characters to read about in their own ways.

-As for what happens in the rest of arc… it's pretty good. If you remove the highlight moments, most of the arc doesn't stand out as much in terms of what actually happens in it. I don't think it's bad by any means, but it's not something as amazing or exciting as the few highs of this arc and tends to skew a lot of people's perspectives.

-This extends to the other fights as well. Outside of the one standout I mentioned before, there isn't anything that spectacular to me brings up some frustrations like how Izuku was saved from Shinso by a Deus Ex Machina. Heck, the impetus of Momo's whole character arc is relegated to a single cartoonish panel summarizing the fight.

=I know this is a fandom darling and I feel a lot of that comes from the anime adaptation. To me, when looking at the manga, it's an arc of some extreme highs, but was above average to good with the rest of it. Certainly not my favorite but still a good arc.

Forest Training Camp Arc: (9/10)

+As someone who really likes to explore the mechanics of Quirks and hero work, I enjoy the various ways these Quirks can be trained and evolved and what kind of roles and pressures they would have to handle. Sure, cooking isn't something we really think about with heroes, but it makes sense to know that for disaster work.

+It's really satisfying to see Tomura use all the lessons he's used thus far, putting aside his short-sighted schemes in favor of a more thought out goal with a plan to turn the narrative against the heroes and capturing Bakugou. That mix with the inherent threats of the villains makes the League seem like a serious contender.

+A lot of the villains are pretty good. They don't have a lot of depth right now, but they don't really need to for the purposes they serve. They are all established enough in their own ways that they are interesting to see and makes you want to know more about them, leaving things open for use to learn more about them later.

+I like a lot of the minor stuff we got with the students. A lot of the pre battle antics are good at fleshing them out, but they really start to shine in the second half of the arc. Whether it be as active players in the arc, like Tokoyami and Shoji, or setting up for their own stories, like with Uraraka and Aoyama, it's all good stuff to read.

+Izuku vs Muscular fight is great. There's some real tension with Kota being threatened, we see Izuku being more emotionally and physically broken than any other point in the series. Only for him to overcome it with one of the most emotional panels in the series. The Million Percent Smash being such a perfect punctuation with the whole battle.

+I appreciate the arc ending on such a dower note. In spite everyone's efforts, the villains won. They kidnaped Bakugou, a huge portion of the students are in critical condition, and there is a potential mole within the walls of UA. It works as an affective low point for the next arc to build off of for the story.

+And in spite of the dark tone, the arc still manages to be really funny, like all the small interactions between characters, like Shoto subtlety throwing shade at Bakugou. And I standby that Izuku suddenly getting punched in the nuts is still one of the funniest moments in the entire series. I will die on this hill.

+This arc hits a perfect balance of pacing. The first half of the story is full of fun antics and lighter moments between the characters while the latter half is full of highly emotional action with a new gallery of rogues. And when it hits the ground, it hits hard and fast, never letting up on the fights and intrigue with the characters.

=While not as groundbreaking as some of the higher ups, I still hold this arc in a special place. Everything from the characters, to the fights, to the emotional beats are all handled so well that I often consider it the best of arc of the series. Even if you twist my arm, the only fault it has is that I simply like the other arcs more than it.

Stain Arc: (9/10)

+The art style drastically improves this arc. While I certainly saw a leap in quality once we got to the Sports Festival, the manga really starts to hit its stride once we reach Stain. The characters have more detail to them, the backgrounds pop a lot more, and the paneling is handled a lot better, making for a stronger experience.

+I like a lot of stuff with hero names and internships. Agian, it's a quick and easy way to help us understand and endear ourselves to the character while still developing the bigger ones, such as Iida's uncertainty as a hero after his brother’s injury or Bakugou trying to learn more about the social nuances of being a hero.

+The Full Cowl was such a good idea. The bone breaking was a neat gimmick to start with, but ultimately unsustainable concept. This offers a good side grade that still fits within the power. It gives Izuku far less power but grants him more control and a way to measure his progress throughout the series.

+Tomura and Izuku get some much-needed development. This arc sees them both growing beyond their world view when faced with an outside force, with Stain acting as their reality check. It sets up how the two will grow opposites throughout the series and further reinforcing the two parallels of our two main leads.

+Shoto and Iida get some time to break out of their original shells. While it's nice to see Shoto being far less cold to people, Iida going on a revenge quest is such a drastic yet believable turn for him. Having his righteous vengeance turn on its head and how such a thing would only sully the family name is all great stuff to read.

+Stain is such a great villain. He commands every single scene he's in and always remains a real threat in spite of his lackluster ability. Though the real meat is how much he's able to challenge the world and characters we see. The man has an iron clad code, one that makes he ready to lift up or deconstruct anyone he comes across.

+The fight with Stain is great. Stain is outgunned and outnumbered, but never outmatched, having much greater skill and what amounts to a one hit KO. That mixed with the closed off arena gives him a massive advantage. It's such a uniquely balanced fight and leads to a lot of interesting back and forth, yet still makes Stain a real threat.

+It feels like there were some real consequences to this arc. Stain wasn't some one-off villain, he changed everything, inspiring more villains and building up for the next big arc. Then there are hints to All For One, the who harmed All Might, being behind everything. It builds up a lot of intrigue for the rest of the story.

=Yeah, there is a good reason everyone talks about this arc. While Stain is the standout figure of this part, I do think it does a disservice to the rest of the arc to only bring up him. It's able to balance so much so well with how each of the characters grow and all meet up in fight. So yeah, it's well worth all the hype it gets.

Hideout Raid Arc: (10/10)

+This handles a lot of the aftermath of Forest Camp Arc well. All the students emotionally handling things and the teachers dealing with the fallout being well done. Giving Izuku a very real threat of damage to his body if he keeps pushing himself too far, set up some real stakes for his training and any future battles he has.

+I like a lot of minor moments between the students. Things like the debate at the beginning of whether or not to save Bakugou helps flesh out the class a lot. Then the bit of Momo and Iida keeping their friends from rushing in are good moments for them while still establishing just how big of a threat All For One is.

+And this is the arc where I think Bakugou clicked for me. We got hints of his depth before, but this is where it comes together. It gives us such an interesting peek into his headspace, like the view we got of his home life and getting his perspective on the concept of heroism and how it ties into winning for him.

+All For One's reveal was handled so well. The shadowy man we've heard so much about comes out with a devastating attack, destroying any opposition and horrifying the nearby students. It's nothing truly groundbreaking, but It's all presented so well that it elevates so much in the eyes of the reader as an impossible threat.

+The All For One vs All Might fight is one of the highest, if not the highest peaks in the series. What else could I possibly say? The beats are simple, but the execution is nigh perfect. The back and forth of the two, the reveal of Small Might, the second wind of power, All Might learning from Izuku, and the United States of Smash. All amazing.

+And while many people remember the main fight, I think the aftermath is just as good. The conflict between Izuku, Inko, and Toshinori is so natural and gripping, with Inko wanting to protect Izuku in spite of his dreams and this in turn hardening's Toshinori to the resolve of his new mission of training Izuku.

+Said aftermath sets up some many interesting and exciting plot points. The fall out of All For One's capture, All Might needing to deal with his life after being a hero, Izuku having to bear the weight of "One For All", Bakugou feeling guilt over All Might losing his spot, and the still immature Tomura now being out on his own.

+The tone is really well handled here. It gets pretty grim, but it doesn't get so dark that it takes you out of the experience and hits all the hopeful moments just right. And again, the comedy is oddly strong here. All Might opening his big entrance with a pizza delivery line and the rescue gang trying clothes on in a thrift store.

=Now, I don't need to tell you why this is good. What you may be asking is why it's not at the top. While I do think that All Might vs All For One is amazing and a good chunk of the arc, but there's still the rest of it. Again, it's some good stuff that gets overshadow a lot, but it's another case of something so amazing elevating the rest of the arc.

Shie Hassaikai Arc: (10/10)

+Not only is this arc unique from all the other arcs thus far, giving us our first real look at the hero world, the arc is great technically as well. It's always keeping up my interest and doesn't drag on at any point. The art is really good, especially with the character designs. Everything is as long as it needs to be, and nothing feels awkward.

+I really like how Izuku is handled here. He has been defined by his self-image issues but tackling that as All Might's successor is interesting. It does everything in its power to make you question if he was worthy, yet is always showing you his merits, namely his relentless will to help people no matter the threat may be.

+Sir Nighteye and Mirio are both good characters as well. They do work to contrast's Izuku own feelings and his role but are still enjoyable characters in their own right. Mirio as a hard-working hero with a good heart and Sir Nighteye as a fatalistic naysayer are both great in their own ways.

+In fact, a lot of the side characters are good in it. Kirishima gets a lot of good development, Tamaki is fun to read as the shy dork he is, Rock Lock presents a unique perspective on hero students, and Fat Gum is Fat Gum. Even with the more minor characters, they stand out enough to be interesting in spite of their lack of panel time.

+To me, this is the arc where Tomura really hits his stride as a villain. Without any proper support, he grows into the leader needs to be the League. Not only does this lead to some of his best moments and sets up his story but adds some much needed layers to the burgeoning villain, showing some real care for his teammates.

+Overhaul is such a great villain. Not only is he a massive threat in power, resources, and overall abilities, he acts as a good foil not only to Izuku, but to Tomura as well while still being his own character. His plan and goal are so unique for the setting, yet offer a frightening endgame, effectively controlling the supply and demand of Quirks.

+By extension, I think this does a lot to characterize the rest of the villains. Obviously, Twice and Toga get the bulk of it, building them up as people beyond their gimmicks, but the rest of the League gets their own moments to shine. This extends to the yakuza minions, who I think are my favorite ensemble of villains in the series.

+This arc ends on such a great note. Sir Nighteye's death crushes the heroes' side in spite the reconciliation. Meanwhile, Tomura gets out like champ, getting revenge on Overhaul and leaving with a dangerous weapon in his hands. It's a good way to start the slow shift of the dynamic between heroes and villains going forward.

=So while this doesn't think this hits the same highs as the Hideout Raid, I think it does accomplish more with its scope. It has a lot more to juggle in comparison to the Hideout Raid and pulls it off with flying colors. It obviously doesn't hit the same peaks, but holds as consistently level of quality, making me prefer it.

[bluebeads-art]

your art is so amazing !!! i adored the 3d printed stuff (as someone who has had to design myself 3d printed merch before because i don't usually have much access to the merch in my fandom lol), it's so good?? and all your coloring is beautiful <3

all this to say it might not seem like i reblog much but rest assured all the stuff i liked (or didn't) went into my queue a few times over hehehe. i LOVE your art it's amazing <3

wishing you luck with the identity and health stuff, even if it doesn't get better i hope you find happiness within it 🫡

gah this got away from me sorry for the ramble

aaaaaaa I saw this message in a notification on my phone, said "I'll read that when I actually have time to reply," then the notification got dismissed somehow and if there's no notification prompt to remind me of something, it no longer exists to me. It's been a month I'm so sorry ^^;;

Thank you so much! I wish it was easier to convert more of my stuff to be 3D printable, but my usual modeling style is not watertight in the slightest and disregards gravity entirely. 😆 3D modeling has always been really cool to me because there's so many different workflows depending on what you're trying to make. Keeps things from getting stale!

Speaking of differences, I feel like people don't tend to mention my coloring. :0 I think my line art usually steals the show, heh. I used to be a lot more conscious about color theory and shading when I was younger, but these days there's no thoughts, only vibes 😂

Ok the line, "even if it doesn't get better i hope you find happiness within it" hit me unexpectedly hard (in a good way). Any nice messages I get always means a ton to me, but while I don't seem to be able to articulate why at the moment, I think that line will stick with me for much longer than usual. Thank you so much ♥

---

Speaking more generally (this message just gave me a good excuse to talk, heh)- spoilers; the artist in my brain refuses to die. So after, like, a literal year of not touching it, I've started working again on a 3D modeling project that I started in 2021 that has been haunting me ever since. Been trying to redesign a robot OC of mine Rayner, and I'm really particular about wanting his joints to work in a physical space instead of bending the rules artistically. I'm Really bad at designing complex hard surface objects in flat 2D though. However, there's a reason artists tell you not to character design in 3D, and that's because it's slow, it's easy to lose design cohesion, and most importantly it just sucks, awful workflow. But I am Doing it. And while I was super stuck for years and almost developed a friggin phobia of the project, I am now Doing It. And it's actually working out this time. The 3D model itself is MILES from being done, but the design almost is, and while that's a boring end result for other people, it represents a huge milestone and accomplishment for me in many ways.

I've been drawing a little bit lately too! But I feel my social media hiatus has given me a healthier relationship with posting? Like I have a few doodles that I could either post now or post soon, but I don't feel the same pressure to anymore? Where even if I never post them, I think I'm fine with that. I've always thought I made art for myself, but that's not exactly true because I was also making art for the sake of sharing. And while I don't think there's anything wrong with that, I think being able to separate the two and be content with simply just creating is healthy. Also I'm still not as active on social media in general anymore which is probably healthier as well LOL.

So I'll prrrobably start posting again soon-ish now that I've broken this blog's posting silence? Not sure how to wrap this monologue up. My physical health problems are going to keep on probleming, but in terms of artistic fulfillment I've been in a much better place this past month, and that's a huge yeehaw from me 👍

[weepingfromacedartree]

Ten Milestones: Living Together

Hi friends! New chapter up for anyone interested

CW: alcohol consumption // COVID // toxic family dynamics // mentions of illicit drug use

Living Together

Contrary to what Colin may claim, Penelope honestly doesn’t want to argue every one of these points. Though she may have found this game tedious at best and nonsense at worst when they first started playing about an hour ago, her opinion on the matter has since shifted.

She likes this game. She’s rooting for their shared victory. She wants to go through each one of these milestones and discover that they’ve already done all the dirty work of dating — that they’re ready to get married. 

She wants them to win so desperately that she has willingly pushed past many of the technicalities and shortcomings of the previous milestones. So when Colin reads the next one aloud, she has to remind herself that there is only so much you can stretch the truth before you break it completely. 

“Number Seven: Living Together. Cohabitation is arguably the best compatibility test for a relationship. Living in a shared space with your partner will undoubtedly bring out parts of yourselves that remain hidden when spending so much time apart — bad habits, quirks, routines, secrets, and more. Seeing if you can stand living in such close proximity to your partner is essential in determining if you two can share a life together.”

With a disappointed half-laugh caught in the back of her throat, Penelope says, “I suppose we should have seen this one coming.” 

At her words, Colin lifts one confused brow. 

“Everyone says you can’t really know a person until you’ve lived with them,” she goes on to explain, more confused than disappointed now.

Why isn’t he —

“It’s a good thing I lived with you and still want to marry you.” 

She tilts her head at his words. Not in confusion — she instantly knows what he is referring to. 

“That was basically a sleepover.” 

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Three Years Earlier: March 11th, 2020

Relationship Status: Cohabitants

꙳

Day 0

“When does your flight leave, dear?”

“In about two hours,” Colin mumbles into his phone, nearly choking on a piece of apple strudel in the process. 

He’s eating breakfast on the edge of his already-made bed. As he finishes swallowing, he glances around the hotel room he’s inhabited for the past six weeks. It’s very quaint. Refurbished furnishings that are meant to look original. A small kitchen and an even smaller bathroom. Beige features, everywhere the light touches. 

Colin was supposed to remain in this quaint, beige, uninviting room for seven weeks total, but something came up. 

“I’m about to check out, then I’ll head over to the airport.” 

“Oh. Good.” 

Violet’s voice is stilted and soft. So soft, that Colin can practically hear his mother’s hands wringing together through the phone. 

“Mum, don’t worr—”

“Are you sure you don’t want to come home early? I was just watching the news. They say cases are skyrocketing in Italy and —”

“I’m not going to Italy, mum,” he reminds her, trying his hardest to keep his tone light. He understands why she worries… But he has other, more self-serving matters on his mind. “I’ll be fine. Don’t worry.”

“I’ll always worry, dear. When you have children of your own, you’ll realise truer words have never been spoken.”

Colin silently thanks god she hadn’t facetimed him. He’s not sure he would be forgiven for the eye roll he just committed. 

“You make parenthood sound so delightf—”

“Have you spoken to Penelope yet today?” Violet interrupts, her voice a pleasant tone that remains fringed with worry.

He can’t help the crooked grin that breaks apart his lips. 

“Yup. I just got off the phone with her. She’s about to leave, too.” 

꙳ ꙳ ꙳

The first time Colin arrived in Paris was in 2015, a few weeks before his twenty-third birthday. Like so many before him, he had entered the city with high expectations. Too high, he eventually realised. 

During his weeks here, he enjoyed many of the individual aspects of the trip. The food, the art, the skyline, the wine… All of those things were good. And yet, when he ultimately left the city, he could not help but feel as though the sum of his experiences never succeeded in meeting his otherworldly expectations. 

There’s a term for that feeling. “Paris Syndrome.” It isn’t exclusive to this particular city — it can apply to any place you enter into with expectations so high that they could never be met here on the ground. Colin has experienced that feeling a few times over the last four years, nine months, and two days. But during all of those trips, he did his best to prevent any disappointment from bleeding through in his articles. After all, you cannot blame a city for failing to achieve the perfection that was thrusted upon it. 

When Penelope called two weeks ago to inform Colin that she was coming to Paris for work, any lingering disappointments he felt towards the city instantly vanished. When she asked if he could meet her here, his schedule instantly cleared. 

Now, at twenty-seven, Colin steps through the city with new expectations. He could eat hot garbage and drink sewer water the rest of the week, and none of it would deter his mood. Not with Penelope by his side. 

He’s late to meet her. Four hours late, to be exact. His flight was a mess, as was seemingly every other flight out of Václav Havel. But in spite of the initial chaos, Colin has finally arrived at his intended destination. 

She doesn’t see him when he walks in. She’s sitting at the bar, legs crossed beneath her, emerald green peacoat draped over the back of her stool. She has a glass of red wine in one hand and her phone in the other. She’s wearing a black shift dress and red lipstick, the latter of which he can barely make out while she remains turned away from him. She —

She looks perfect, he thinks in those last few seconds before capturing her attention. 

“Sorry, but is this seat taken?” 

She turns so quickly that her red curls nearly whip him in the face. Her blue eyes are bright and round, but he barely gets the chance to look at them before she jumps off her stool and hugs him. 

“Hi,” she says into his shoulder, a few seconds later. The word is barely audible; he can feel it more than he can hear it. 

“Hey, Pen,” he says into her hair. It smells like honey. 

“How was your flight?” 

“Delayed,” he grumbles, then takes the stool beside hers. He signals for the bartender to get him whatever glass of wine Penelope had ordered for herself. “How was the train?”

“Good,” she answers, in a tone that doesn’t match her sentiment. Her eyes cast down to her phone for a split second before continuing, “The stations were pretty hectic, though. A lot of trips were cancelled at the last minute.” 

Colin nods and grimaces, remembering the scene he left behind at De Gaulle. In hindsight, he should be grateful his flight took off at all. 

When Penelope raises her drink to her lips and takes a rather long sip, Colin cannot help but notice the conflicted look that passes on her face through the glass. 

“You don’t think it was a bad idea to —”

“No,” Colin interrupts decisively. He nods to the bartender in thanks as she hands him his drink. “Don’t worry about that. If it was dangerous for you to be here, they wouldn’t have let you on that train.”

“True,” Penelope says, still not sounding so sure of herself. But then she scrunches her nose, and the look that settles on her face afterwards is absent of worry. 

“I can’t believe we’re in Paris,” she notes, smiling. 

“Believe it,” Colin orders with a smile matching hers. 

꙳ ꙳ ꙳

The night air is warm — for March, at least. Penelope is bundled up in her oversized peacoat, while Colin’s jacket sits on the bench between them. Although it certainly wasn’t intended as such, that pile of brown leather acts as a barrier between their bodies. 

It’s not actually that warm, even for springtime. But Colin’s body feels warm — particularly in his chest and on his cheeks and the tips of his ears. 

Must be the wine.

They’re sitting on the edge of the Champ de Mars, waiting with hundreds of strangers for midnight to strike and cause the tower in the distance to illuminate the darkness with twinkling lights. Penelope is talking with so much excitement that her body is practically vibrating. She’s telling him all about her article on the Notre Dame fire and her plans to visit the reconstruction efforts later in the week. Colin, in spite of his buzz from the bar and the literal, incessant buzzing originating from the phone in his back pocket, is doing his best to remain an attentive listener. Listening to Penelope speak is usually one of his favourite activities, but right now…

Right now, he finds it to be an impossibly difficult task. It’s difficult to pay attention to words spoken from such perfect red lips. Lips he would very much like to be kissing right —

“Colin?” 

Clearly, he was not acting as an attentive listener, for he has no idea what question Penelope is prompting him to answer. 

“Hmm?” 

“Oh, I —” She laughs. “Thank you, again, for meeting me here.” 

Colin shakes his head, instinctually opposed to the notion of accepting thanks for such a self-serving act. But instead of arguing with her, he simply says, “Thank you for finally taking me up on that offer to run off together.” 

Penelope doesn’t argue against his words. She doesn’t say anything. She simply turns her attention forward, towards the structure in the distance, still lit with a flat yellow gleam. 

Like it so often does, a comfortable silence falls between them. The thing about comfortable silences, though, is that there are always uncomfortable distractions around, threatening to break them. Like the truly incessant buzzing from Colin’s phone (undoubtedly caused by some inconsequential but extremely common argument in the Bridgerton family group chat). Or the group of teenagers walking past, moaning about something in a language Colin could only understand before his third glass of wine. Or that invisible force that keeps pulling him towards the woman he loves so dearly. Or whatever it is that appears on Penelope’s phone and draws a gasp from those perfect red lips. 

“Oh my fucking god,” she whispers, ultimately breaking that comfortable silence of theirs. Her words tumble out in one hurried breath. 

“What?” 

Colin’s gaze travels from Penelope’s lips to her eyes. He doesn’t dare drop it, even when the faintest glimmer of twinkling lights appears in his peripheral vision.

꙳ ꙳ ꙳

Day 1

Their trip ended the very moment the word “pandemic” fell from Penelope’s lips. 

In a more literal sense, it ended the next morning when they received calls from their respective bosses ordering them to return home as fast as humanly possible. Penelope received that call from Danbury. Colin received his from both Anthony and Violet.

They spent the morning on Penelope’s balcony, munching on room service pastries as they scoured the internet for tickets to London. For all his experience securing last-minute transportation, Colin felt wholly unprepared for the plight of booking passage home during a pandemic. Flights, trains, and buses everywhere were getting bought out or cancelled before he could add the tickets to his cart. It was madness. 

Eventually, Penelope found two open seats on an Easyjet flight. They had less than an hour to get to the airport. Once there, they sat in a terminal for six hours due to a series of delays and rebookings. 

Eventually, they boarded their plane. She sat in seat 24A, he in 31E. Due to the full flight and their unfortunate seating arrangements, Colin could not witness Penelope’s reaction to their liftoff. He didn’t know if her hands still shake when the engines rumble to life, or if her teeth clench down when the plane lifts into the air. He was not there to offer her comfort, if comfort was what she needed in that moment. 

Eventually, they arrived back in London. At first, Penelope had briefly considered returning to her own flat in Hyde Park (and risk passing along potentially life-threatening germs to her roommate). In the end, though, it only took a few passing words for Colin to convince her to choose the far more responsible, CDC-advised option of quarantining in his flat for the next two weeks. 

Now, they’re sitting in traffic in the backseat of a cab. 

Now, he’s placing a hand over hers, silently urging her to stop picking at her own fingernails. 

Now, her head is falling on his shoulder, exhausted by the events of the last 24 hours. 

Now, he’s regrettably pulling her back into the realm of consciousness and out into the cold.

Now, he’s holding a door open for her. 

Now, he’s carrying their luggage into a lift. 

Now, they’re home. 

꙳ ꙳ ꙳

Day 3

When Penelope packed her suitcase Tuesday night, she had packed for five days in Paris. For walking along the Seine and marvelling masterpieces and conducting interviews at the Notre Dame restoration. She had not packed for fourteen days in Colin’s flat.

There are exactly two sets of pyjamas that Penelope deems comfortable and appropriate enough to wear in his vicinity — everything else has been banished to her luggage, where it will remain for the rest of her stay here. Thankfully, Colin, the ever-dutiful host, offered her a variety of alternatives from his own closet upon their arrival. 

His t-shirts are okay, but tend to sit too snuggly on her chest to meet the “appropriate” requirements of her self-appointed dress code. His flannels are better — loose and soft and always a nice shade of blue or green. His jumpers are her favourite, though — even if the weather creeping in from outside is slightly too warm for such attire.

(She doesn’t have much choice when it comes to bottoms. Even when rolled up three-fold, his sweatpants and pyjama bottoms are too much of a tripping hazard. She’ll be wearing basketball shorts for the remainder of her time here, it seems.) 

She’s wearing his burgundy jumper today — the same one she wore yesterday. Like yesterday, she’s spent almost all of her time on the big blue couch in his living room, watching the news, distracting herself with a movie, and/or doom-scrolling on her phone. Colin has been on the other end of the couch through most of that time, but he currently happens to be in the kitchen. From the faint sounds carrying in from down the hall, she can tell that he’s putting a kettle on and has Benedict on speakerphone. 

It isn’t until this very moment that Penelope realises that Colin is the best distraction of them all. As soon as he left her line of sight, her mind began to wander to everything she cannot see, but worries deeply about. 

Like her three-week-old niece, Poppy. Her sisters. Her mum. Getting an unexpected call from her mum. Getting an unexpected call from her editor. Her article. Whether or not she’ll have a job by the time the world returns to normal. The world, whether or not it will ever return to normal. Hospitals. Doctors. Nurses. Children. Little Auggie and even littler Blair. Daphne. Eloise. Colin. Herself. The ever-tenuous state of their friendship. The likelihood that it will survive the next fourteen —

“Pen.” 

She literally jumps from her spot, having been too consumed by her thoughts to hear Colin walk back into the room. He’s standing before her with a cup of tea in his hand and a humorous look in his eye. After passing her the mug, he asks where her head just was. 

“Everywhere,” she jokes. Even if it isn’t exactly a joke. 

“I —”

“Did you get any information out of your brother?” she interrupts. This is closer to a joke. 

A few days before the pandemic was officially declared, Benedict saw the warning signs and fled the city to stay with a “friend” in Southampton. Beyond that, the details of his current whereabouts are unknown. (Despite his siblings’ incessant interrogations on the subject.)

“Nope.” 

“What’s the current theory? New girlfriend? Boyfriend?”

Colin chuckles into his mug. “The jury’s hung,” he tells her. “But whatever type of friend they are, knowing Benedict, there are benefits involved.” 

Preemptively hiding the blush that is surely about to appear on her cheeks, Penelope raises her cup and takes a sip of her tea. Milk and honey, just the way she likes it. 

“Well, wherever he may be, it was nice of him to lend me his room to sleep in while he’s gone.” 

Colin doesn’t say anything to that, but nods his head lightly in agreement. 

When a palpable quiet settles between them, Penelope realises that Colin had turned the news off while she had been lost in thought. Instinctually, her free hand wraps around the remote control sitting on the coffee table in front of them. Before she can hit the power button, though, Colin’s hand appears out of nowhere and plucks it out of her grip. 

“Let’s not,” he says dismissively. He then tosses the remote onto the armchair in the back corner of the room. 

“Why —”

“The news is so depressing. Let’s take a break and properly enjoy our tea.” With that, he clinks his mug against the one Penelope’s barely hanging onto. 

“What difference does it make?” she asks, standing to retrieve the discarded remote. “Everything is depressing. One cup of tea isn’t going to change that.” 

Usually, Penelope is not so quick to voice such blatant negativity aloud (especially in Colin’s presence), but these are unprecedented times. 

Just as her pointer finger hovers over the little red button, the remote slips from her grasp once again. Standing now, Colin slides it into the pocket of his grey sweatpants. Though these may be unprecedented times, there is nothing in this world that could deliver Penelope the confidence (or madness) to try and retrieve it from there. Instead, she sits back down with a huff. 

“Sit in silence, then?” 

Lowering himself to the cushion next to hers, Colin begins to chuckle — an act Penelope deems wildly inappropriate, given its time, place, and irritated audience. 

“What are you —”

“What exactly, Pen, is so depressing about your current situation?” 

She looks at him wide-eyed and gaping, needing a moment to answer such an obvious, impossible question. 

“In case you forgot, the world is falling ap—”

“No. I didn’t ask what’s wrong with the world. What’s so depressing about your life right now? What’s troubling you, Pen?” 

She needs another moment to answer this question, but instead of staring at Colin, she turns away. She takes note of her surroundings. 

She’s sitting on a big blue couch with her favourite person. She’s safe, healthy, and teetering on the edge of insanity. Knowing all the misery happening in the world outside this flat…

She shrugs. “Nothing, I suppose.” 

Colin barks out a singular, disbelieving chuckle. “Well that’s not true.” 

“I have empathy, Colin,” she shoots back. “I’m allowed to be upset about the state of the world, even if I’m not personally impacted.” 

“What do you mean you’re not ‘impacted?’ The whole world shut down, everyone is impacted.” 

“I know, but…”

It’s only after her voice trails off that Colin continues, “We were supposed to be in Paris today. Now we’re stuck in my flat and fighting over whether or not to watch the incredibly depressing news. You are allowed to be troubled, Pen.” 

After a few seconds mulling over his words…

“Being stuck in a flat in London is different than — you know — dying from a mysterious illness that didn’t exist until a few months ago.” 

“I know,” Colin insists, humour finally wiped clean off his face. “But you don’t have to be in active peril to be sad about your current circumstances. You selflessly refusing to moan about a missed holiday won’t resolve anyone else’s suffering.” 

She doesn’t quite know what to say to that. “Are you sad about your current circumstances?” is what she eventually settles on.

He takes a moment before responding. His eyes roam, seeming to point in every direction but to her own. 

“Mixed. I’m sad about our trip getting cut short so abruptly. I would prefer to be in Paris than London today. I’m happy I get to spend more time with you than originally planned.” 

Resisting the urge to fester on the last part of his statement for a single second, Penelope simply says, “I thought you didn’t like Paris.” 

From his spot one cushion over, Colin squints in that way that makes his blue eyes look grey. 

“I don’t remember telling you that.” 

“I don’t think you did,” she realises out loud. Absentmindedly, she places her mug down on the table. “But, you know… I edited every single one of your pieces back then. I suppose it just stuck out to me at the time, how it seemed less…” 

She tilts her head upward, searching her brain for the right word. When she glances back to Colin, his eyes are round and blue again. 

“It just, um, seemed less enthusiastic than your writing on other destinations.”

“I —”

“Not that it was any less lovely to read,” she adds with a quiet, nervous laugh. “Just different in tone.” 

“Regardless…” He sighs, and the corners of his mouth tick upward just a little. “I was excited to revisit it. And to see you see it for the first time.” 

“I’m sad about missing Paris, too,” she finally admits. “Even if being with you here instead of there isn’t so bad.” 

Before she can process that it’s even happening, Colin is hugging her. His arms are wrapped around her back. Her lips are pressed into his shoulder. Her heart is beating so quickly that she fears he can feel it against his own chest. 

“Paris will be there when this is all over,” he mumbles into her hair. “We can always go back.”

She wants to tell him how hard that future is for her to imagine. But she doesn’t. She doesn’t say anything, answering instead with a tiny nod against his shoulder. When her nose brushes against the fabric of his t-shirt, she’s reminded of the true reason why she loves his jumpers so. 

For as long as she can remember, Colin has always smelt the same. Like fresh grass, “unscented” bar soap, and the faintest hint of sweat. Like home. 

That scent tends to stick around on jumpers like the one she’s been wearing for the past two days. 

꙳ ꙳ ꙳

Day 5

Eyes too alert to find sleep, Colin turns his gaze from the ceiling to the alarm clock on his left. The bright red display informs him that it is just after midnight. 

Turning towards the wall and away from those taunting numbers, Colin thinks over the last few days. He thinks of Penelope’s stay here. He thinks of the good — the talking, the closeness, the making up for lost time. He thinks of the not-so-good — the world outside, the worry that keeps creeping up her face, his inability to keep his desires at bay while she remains so close. 

That last point weighs the heaviest on his mind. It’s the reason he’s currently awake and restless in bed. 

On that night in Paris, he came so close to acting on his physical desires for Penelope. He was seconds away from kissing her in the moonlight, he realises in hindsight. He was so close to risking it all while drunk on wine and the perfect curve of her lips so close to his. Then, like a sign sent directly from God (or perhaps the CDC), the world came crashing down around them. 

Now, Colin can’t risk it all. He couldn’t possibly put Penelope in that position — not when she’s forced to remain here with him for the next nine days. But having her so close to him at all times of the day…

It’s difficult. It’s good in so many ways, but it’s also difficult. There’s no escaping your feelings for someone when they are never more than a few footsteps away from you. Penelope is wearing his clothes every day and sleeping on the other side of his wall every night. Colin is growing restless, but as much sleep as he may lose over his desires…

He can’t risk it all now. As much as he wants to. 

After a few more minutes turning over and over in bed, Colin lifts his head from his pillow. He hears something new emanating from the darkness. 

Footsteps. 

He listens as the tentative creaking noises get louder and softer, walking past his bedroom door, then away from it. Curious and alarmingly awake, Colin extricates his body from his sheets, pulls the first t-shirt he can find over his head, then heads in the same direction as those footsteps.

Penelope is in the kitchen. Her body is turned away from him and towards the kettle on the stove. The room is dark; her figure is outlined by the stove light that’s illuminating next to nothing. She must have not heard him coming, because she literally jumps around when he whispers her name from the doorway. 

“Oh — Colin! Sorry,” she sputters out. She points her thumb behind her, towards the kettle. “I couldn’t sleep. I just wanted to — Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“You didn’t.” He steps across the precipice, leaning against the sink so his body stands about a metre away from Penelope’s. “I would have needed to find sleep to begin with for that to be possible.”

“Is there a lot on your mind?” 

Colin doesn’t know how to answer that question truthfully. Yes, there was a lot on his mind keeping him awake tonight. No, not in the way Penelope had intended the question. 

(She had not intended to ask if he had been too horny to fall asleep tonight.) 

In the end, he simply shrugs and blames “the usual bout of insomnia” for his presence in this dimly-lit kitchen.

Penelope mumbles something that sounds like, “I thought that was my thing,” before turning back to her original task. As she pulls out two mugs from the cabinet, Colin clears his throat. 

“What was keeping you up tonight?”

“Oh. You know…” 

She doesn’t expand on her words. She keeps her eyes pointed on the kettle, patiently waiting for it to whistle. Colin lasts about 10 seconds before opening his mouth again. 

“I’m glad you’re here, Pen. Even if the circumstances that forced you into my flat aren’t ideal.”

He’s not exactly sure what prompted him to say that. When Penelope finally turns to look him in the eye again, he can tell that she shares his curiosity. Before she can ask, though, he continues on. 

“I feel like we’re making up for lost time. You know… After spending 90% of the last five years on separate continents.” 

“Oh, Colin,” she says, and Colin cannot recall ever hearing two words uttered so sadly in his lifetime. “There is no ‘lost’ time to make up for. Not when we spent nearly every day of those five years communicating in one way or another.”

“That’s not the same,” he insists. “And after putting up with all of the emails and voicemails and other random shit I send you on a daily basis, I think this was long overdue.”

Penelope breaks their eye contact, shaking her head lightly as she turns her gaze downwards. With her voice barely above a whisper, she says, “I don’t ‘put up’ with anything.” Then, louder, “But while we’re on the subject, I did want to ask you about those emails.” 

“Oh, yeah?” he needles, feeling cheekier than he has since stepping foot into this room.

“Yeah. It’s just… Between your articles and those emails, when do you have the time to actually go out into the world and gather material for them? It seems like all you do is write.”

“It’s quite simple, really. I experience the world during the day and write about it at night.”

“When do you manage to sleep, then?”

“Oh. I don’t.” He raises his arms in gesture to the darkness around them. “That’s the trick.”

Penelope’s laughter coincides with the kettle’s whistle. After handing him his mug, she takes a step back — a step further than she was just a moment ago. 

“You shouldn’t feel guilty about being away from home so often,” she tells him. “For me or for anyone. Travelling — that’s your passion. You’re lucky to have found it at such a young age. You should hold onto it with both hands.”

Suddenly feeling at a loss for words, Colin nods into his cup. The water is hot, and yet his sip is long. 

He can’t recall a single time over the last twenty-seven years that he has ever disagreed with Penelope as strongly as he does in this very moment. 

꙳ ꙳ ꙳

Day 7

“Go fish.”

“Christ, Penelope. We’re friends — could you drop the poker face, just once?”

She laughs into her remaining two cards. 

“It’s like you don’t know me at all.” 

They play for a few more minutes before Penelope secures her third win of the night. When Colin flips his remaining ten cards over and discards them on the coffee table, she can’t help but notice that they’re all hearts and diamonds — red cards, only. 

Standing suddenly, Colin rakes a hand through his hair and walks over to the cabinet on the other side of the room. “Let’s switch to a game that I actually have a chance at winning,” he mutters, his back turned towards her. 

As he searches through a pile of board games, Penelope fishes her phone out of the couch cushions behind her. In the time it had taken for them to play three rounds of Go Fish, she had received several notifications. 

One text from Eloise, asking if Colin has driven her mad yet. A few news updates with death tolls, outbreak reports, and other awful, unimaginable statistics she’s now receiving on an hourly basis. At least a dozen messages from her family group chat, the last of which came from her mum, about a minute ago. 

It’s awful. Being stuck in this giant house all by myself.

“Scrabble?” 

Penelope’s head whips up to find Colin presenting the big burgundy box in the air. 

“Oh, um… I don’t know. Perhaps another night?”

After throwing her a sarcastic scowl, Colin puts the Scrabble box away, walks over, and plops back down on the spot on the rug opposite Penelope. 

“Something wrong?” he asks her. 

Without meaning to, her eyes dip down to her phone screen. 

“‘No,” she lies. “It’s just… Doesn’t it feel kind of weird to be playing games right now?”

“Now? As in… The end of the world?”

“I wish you would stop calling it that.” She sighs. “But yes.” 

“I quite literally cannot think of a better time to sit around playing games.” 

Penelope can’t help but roll her eyes slightly, because of course he can’t. 

“I don’t know.” Her gaze unconsciously drops to the phone in her lap again. “It just feels sort of… wrong. Like I can’t have a bit of fun without being reminded of how awful it is for everyone else in the world.” 

When she eventually summons the strength to look up again, Colin’s face is marked by concern. His eyes bear into hers. 

“I —”

“Pen, you cannot hold your own happiness hostage for the sake of others. There’s no good that can come from forcing yourself to be miserable.”

Not for the first time in her life, Penelope is struck by how good Colin is at making life seem so much simpler than it really is. But while her instincts typically lead her to either challenge his revisionist view of reality or simply brush his words away, right now, she’s tempted to believe him. She’s tempted to buy into his bullshit. 

“You’re so wise for someone who just lost so badly at Go Fish.”

“Thanks, Pen.” He laughs, then picks up the deck of cards still sitting atop the table between them. “Rematch?”

Tossing her phone out of sight somewhere on the couch behind her, Penelope smiles. 

“Your funeral, Bridgerton.” 

꙳ ꙳ ꙳

Day 9

“What are you watching?”

Penelope’s eyes dart from the TV to Colin, then back to the TV. On the screen, Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal are walking through Central Park on an orange Autumn day. 

“You don’t know what movie this is?”

Plopping down on the cushion next to hers, Colin shrugs and shakes his head. Penelope can instantly tell that he isn’t being facetious, but after growing up with four sisters, she can hardly believe he can’t name this movie. (Though she may claim otherwise, even Eloise enjoys the occasional romcom.) 

“You really don’t know When Harry Met Sally?” 

Colin shrugs again, an eager smirk now rising on his lips. 

“Should I?”

After pausing the moving, Penelope turns to give Colin her full attention. She’s about to say “Yes,” and inform him of just how ridiculous it is that he’s never seen it before. But at the last second, she hesitates. 

“I don’t know.”

“You ‘don’t know?’” he echoes, clearly baffled by her sudden lack of conviction. 

“Well, I love this movie, but I can’t claim to be unbiased. I grew up watching it. If I were to watch it for the first time now… I don’t know. I think I might find the premise a bit…” 

She quickly glances away from Colin and towards the ceiling, searching her brain for the right word. 

“Outdated.”

“Outdated?”

“Yes. And perhaps a bit… sexist.” 

“Good god,” Colin laughs. “What exactly is this amazing, outdated, sexist about?”

Penelope's lips remain sealed tightly shut for a moment, simultaneously fighting off a nervous laugh and a deep red blush. 

“Well…” she finally manages to get out. “Perhaps ‘sexist’ isn’t the right word. It’s about two people — Harry and Sally — who meet and eventually become friends and eventually fall in love. And it’s a great movie — really. But the film revolves around this idea that men and women can’t be friends. Which is,” she gulps, “obviously not true.”

“Why can’t women and men be friends?” 

“Well, obviously they —”

“According to the movie, I meant.” 

Her lips stitch shut again. She simply cannot bring herself to voice aloud the movie’s thesis statement — that sexual attraction will always get in the way. Even if that statement is outdated, sexist, and objectively not true for the average opposite sex friendship… 

It’s not exactly irrelevant in this friendship. 

“Instead of having me explain the plot summary to you for the next 90 minutes, why don’t we just watch it? You know — so you can form your own opinion on the matter.”

“I happen to like it when you explain the movie to me. But fine.” He sighs with great, dramatic force. “Let’s watch it.”

Exactly ninety-five minutes later, Colin agrees that while it may be a fantastic movie, the premise is bullshit. 

“I mean — if you and Benedict weren’t such good friends, you might not have had a bed to sleep in this past week.” 

“Yeah.” Penelope forces out a quick laugh. “I don’t know where I would be without my best friend, Benedict Bridgerton.” 

꙳ ꙳ ꙳

Day 10

Despite sharing this flat with Benedict for over two years, due to their respective chaotic schedules, Colin hasn’t actually spent much time living here with another human being. That’s why he didn’t realise just how thin his walls are until about ten days ago. 

Now, ten days into Penelope’s extended stay here, Colin has developed an automatic response to the sound of her phone ringing. Unfortunately, he can’t always find his headphones quick enough to avoid accidentally eavesdropping on those conversations. Like when his sister rang.

“God, El. Stop being so dramatic. I swear I am here on my own free will.” 

…

“Well, I’m sure his hygiene has improved since you last lived with him.”

Or Penelope’s editor.

“She licked a toilet seat? Well, that’s um — That’s certainly interesting. But I struggle to see how we can frame that as an actual piece of news.”

Or her mum.

“It’s fine. No, I —” 

… 

“It’s only temporary, mum. I’ll come home soon. Once it’s safe.” 

꙳ ꙳ ꙳

Day 12

Twelve days into lockdown, meals have taken on new meaning for Penelope — a way to mark the passage of time. 

Time itself has lost nearly all meaning. Seconds last for an eternity. Hours pass by like nothing. Days bleed into one another with no substantive markers. Fridays feel like Tuesdays. Everyday feels like Tuesday, actually. 

Meals are now the only markers of time that feel real to Penelope. But as the food in Colin’s fridge and pantry starts to dwindle, the separation between breakfast, lunch, and dinner are becoming blurred. 

Tonight, they’re eating eggs, baked beans, and a single microwavable pizza for dinner. 

“You know…” Colin mumbles, chewing incessantly on his crust (which in Penelope’s opinion, has a texture similar to that of her leather purse). “In two days, we can venture back into the land of the living and get some proper food.” 

Penelope mumbles something in agreement, pushing around the beans on her plate with the prongs of her fork. Her mind is wandering elsewhere. 

Do you want to be a burden, Penelope?

“Pen?” 

“Hmm?” Her head whips up suddenly, eyes finally meeting Colin’s after several minutes of focusing downward. 

“Is something wrong?”

Yes.

“No.”

Colin isn’t buying her bullshit. She can see it in the look he throws her now. 

“I’m just —” She sighs, mulling over her own words. “Just thinking about what’s going to happen in two days, when our quarantine period is up.” 

“Oh,” Colin says, shoulders visibly relaxing. “Well, Benedict isn’t coming back to the city anytime soon. And Lord knows my trip to Kyoto isn’t happening anytime soon. You can stay here as long as you like.” 

Penelope opens her mouth to speak, but no words come out. There was a weight on her chest before. It’s lighter now, but still overwhelming. 

Filling the interim silence between them, Colin leans back in his chair and chuckles softly. 

“I mean, you can go back to Hyde Park and kill the endless expanse of time sitting around doing nothing with your roommate. But wouldn’t you rather sit around here and do nothing with your best friend?” 

Not ready to address the main bit, Penelope smiles, crinkles her nose, and says, “Don’t let Eloise hear you claiming yourself as my best friend. I don’t need another Bridgerton bloodbath on my hands.”

He barks out a laugh. 

“We can speak freely here. She doesn’t have my flat bugged.”

“That you know of.”

“Regardless… Can you really deny my claim?”

His words are delivered casually enough, but they don’t feel that way to Penelope. Not after spending so much of her life struggling to attach those two words to Colin in her mind and in her heart. Even if she probably should. 

Best friend. There’s nothing that comes after that. 

Penelope scoops a fork-full of beans into her mouth.

“I would… If I didn’t know any better. You two are so competitive. And you both seem to be under the incorrect assumption that a person can only have one best friend.”

Still chewing on that pizza crust, Colin’s eyes suddenly narrow. 

“You call Eloise your best friend all the time,” he says simply. He doesn’t sound quite as casual as he had a moment ago. His voice is edged with annoyance. 

Penelope scoops up another fork-full of beans. She’s stalling for time, trying to think of a better excuse than, “It’s easier to call someone your best friend when you’re not also madly in love with them.” In the end, she lands on… 

“You know how annoying you get about this subject? Eloise would be a thousand times more annoying if the roles were reversed.”

He shrugs at that, because while it may be a dirty excuse, it’s also 100% true. 

“Regardless… The world isn’t going back to normal in two days. If you have to be stuck somewhere, selfishly, I hope it’s in this flat.” 

Penelope’s eyes turn away from him again — towards the clock on the stovetop that means so little to her these days. She can feel the blush rising in her cheeks. She can feel it in her chest and in her heart. It’s hard to really accept his words, though, as her mother’s voice still echoes through her mind. 

Do you want to be a burden, Penelope? 

No. Of course she doesn’t. 

“I don’t want to impose,” she tells him, her eyeline unable to raise any higher than the stubble on his chin. 

“You wouldn’t be.” 

He sounds less humorous, less charming than he had just a moment ago. His voice is serious, which — despite the very serious events unfolding in the world lately — is a rare occurrence these days. 

“You could never. Not with me.” 

Just like that, the subject is dropped. Neither one of them picks it up again when the official 14-day quarantine endpoint comes and goes. 

꙳ ꙳ ꙳

Day 17

After getting off a nearly hour-long phone call with Benedict (an ultimately fruitless endeavour to obtain the details of his brother’s extended stay in Southampton), Colin exits his bedroom with the intention to join Penelope on the big blue couch. 

She doesn’t notice him walk into the room. She’s faced away from him, back against the armrest, headphones blasting music loud enough for him to hear it from his doorway. Her laptop is resting precariously on her knees, her fingers rampantly dancing across her keyboard. She barely looks up when he plops himself on the cushion next to hers. 

“Hey,” she says half-heartedly, pulling one earbud out. 

“What are you working on?” 

“Work.” Just as quickly as the word leaves her mouth, she shuts her laptop. 

“Did you ever decide on a narrative for your Notre Dame article?” 

“Oh. God no.” She laughs lightly, scrunching her nose. “That article was shelved the second that the pandemic was declared.”

“That’s a shame.”

“I guess.” She shrugs. “But there are more important things for people to read about these days than reconstruction efforts on some old church.” 

Colin scoffs. Literally.

“Did you just refer to the Cathedral of Notre Dame as ‘some old church?’” 

“You know what I mean. Public concern has shifted over the last few weeks. That story isn’t exactly relevant anymore. Plus, I never even got to see the restoration efforts firsthand.”

“Okay…” Colin shuffles in his seat, raking a hand through his hair as he considers her words. “Even if it isn’t ‘relevant’ right now — what about when this is all over? That ‘old church’ survived over 800 years before this for a reason. People will always care about Notre Dame. There will always be a story to tell there.” 

Penelope shrugs again. She’s wearing his green cable knit sweater, arms crossed in front of her with just the tips of her fingers peeking out of the sleeves. She’s tucked into the corner of the big blue couch, looking like she’s about to disappear into it. 

“Maybe one day. But right now, it’s hard to imagine everything going back to normal.” 

Colin considers her words for a few seconds. 

“Well, maybe not everything will go back to how it once was, but the important things will. The things meant to last will last, even through fires and viruses and other disasters.”

 From her spot in the corner, Penelope’s eyes narrow. “When did you get so wise?” she asks, only half sarcastically. 

“Always have been,” he gloats, a smile overpowering his lips. “Took you long enough to notice.” 

꙳ ꙳ ꙳

Day 19

After several minutes (possibly hours) staring at a blank screen, Penelope shuts her laptop with a huff. She blinks several times, practically feeling the blue light still stinging her eyeballs. She scrunches her eyes shut completely, needing at least a few seconds of calming darkness. 

For as long as she can remember, writing has offered Penelope an escape. Writing a story — gripping a pen in her hands and deciding what came next — offered her a sense of control in times when she felt no such thing in her real life. That control is an addiction of sorts — one most would be wise not to stake their careers around. Thankfully, Penelope’s career has yet to take away her passion for it. 

She loves being a writer, but it’s hard on days like today when the words just don’t come. When both the escape and the control slip away from you, and the only thing you can blame for that loss is your own brain. 

At least she has a different distraction readily available to her these days. 

When she opens her eyes, she finds that Colin is still staring at his laptop screen on the other side of the couch. He isn’t doing much typing, though, so she doesn’t feel too bad about interrupting him.

“Hey.” 

She nudges his bare shin with her sock-clad foot. He smiles softly as he pulls his headphones out and meets her gaze. 

“Are you busy with something?”

“Too busy for you? Never.”

With that, he shuts his laptop and practically throws it onto the coffee table next to hers. 

“God,” Penelope mutters under her breath, almost caught off guard by his charming ways after all these years. 

“Nothing. Just… bored.” 

Colin’s smile turns to a flat out smirk. 

“And you want me to do something about that?” 

“I don’t know,” she mumbles, fighting off a blush. “Can you tell me a travel story? One I haven’t heard before?” 

Humming, Colin looks up to the ceiling, seemingly racking his brain to find such a thing. Then, he looks to the window. Then, to the coffee table. Then, finally, back to her. 

“I don’t know if there are any, Pen. I think you’ve heard all of my stories already.” 

“What about Prague? Anything you left out of your emails?” 

“No,” he says softly, eyes still darting back and forth, searching for some memory to dig up. “On my way to the airport, my Uber got rear ended.” 

“Yeah, I know.” Penelope breaks into a fit of giggles. “I was on the phone with you when it happened. I could hear them arguing in Czech in the background.” 

Colin begins to chuckle. 

“Oh, right.” 

“Okay… So if I already know everything about your old trips, maybe you can tell me about your future endeavours. Any plans for when the end of the world ends?” 

Penelope expects Colin to continue chuckling. She expects him to say something like “Greece” or “Kyoto.” But he doesn’t. 

He frowns. 

“I don’t know, honestly.” He looks away from her for a few seconds, towards the window. “I don’t see myself travelling for a while.” 

Penelope nods sympathetically, suddenly annoyed with herself for asking such a silly question. 

“That makes sense,” she says, voice tentative. “They said this would be all over in two weeks, but —”

“No, not because of COVID. I’ve actually been ready to pause my travels for a while.”

He says those words so casually. A few seconds pass before they fully register in Penelope’s brain. When they do, it feels as though all of the air has been sucked from her lungs. 

“What?” is all she can manage to get out in her current breathless condition. Colin, for his part, remains casual. 

“Japan was the last trip I had planned, and that certainly isn’t happening anymore, so…”

They sit in silence for a moment. Penelope waits for him to expand. Colin waits for her to ask him to. In the end, it’s she who loses the game of chicken. 

“Why didn’t you plan anything past Japan?” 

If she recalls correctly, he was supposed to remain in the country for approximately three months. She’s seen his calendar; he usually plans out his calendar a year in advance. 

“Well, that trip was meant to end in June, which also happens to be the five-year mark for my travels abroad.” He shrugs innocently. “Five years seems like a good marker for change. I was thinking about maybe taking a year off travelling.” 

“A year?” Penelope mutters dumbly, not really meaning to. The notion seems impossible to her. Between Eton, Cambridge, and his travels…

Colin hasn’t lived an entire year in London in over a decade. Not since he was sixteen and she was fourteen. Not since they were two completely different people. 

“Yeah. I love travelling, but it’s also fucking exhausting. Especially at the rate I’ve been doing it the past five years. I…” He takes a breath. “I just need to stay put for a while. I’m sick of spending more time away from home than in it.” 

When he goes quiet, Penelope nearly jumps at the chance to fill the air between them with her words. But something in Colin’s eye tells her that he’s not quite finished. That he has something else that he desperately wants to say. 

“I don’t want my life to continue running parallel to the lives here at home.” 

“Oh, Colin,” she says, her miserable words spilling from her mouth before she can stop them. Her mind is elsewhere, recalling something she said a lifetime ago on a night in December. 

Those people who made up your entire world when you were younger are still there, but their lives aren’t intertwined with yours like they used to be. It’s more like they’re running parallel.

“I —” she starts, but Colin interrupts. His face looks lighter than it had a moment ago. 

“Don’t be too sad about my indefinite return home for longer than usual, Pen. This —”

“I’m not! I —”

“— was always going to happen. A man can’t travel forever.”

“I — I know,” she sputters out. “But the — the parallel lines thing… You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself about not living in London full time. I mean — look at your family! Eloise and Francesca are both in Scotland now. Daphne practically lives in Hastings year round. Benedict spends even less time in this flat than y—”

“I know, Pen.” 

Before she can say another word, Colin moves from the edge of the couch to the cushion right next to hers. She remains wedged in her corner as he raises his hand and gives her shoulder a gentle, familiar squeeze. 

“It’s not like I’m never going to travel again. I just can’t keep up with the constant state of being away. I wouldn’t want to, even if I could. I want to be here. I don’t want to miss another holiday or be that uncle that Auggie and Blair only see one a year. I —”

His words stop impossibly short. He gives Penelope a long, wavering look before continuing.

“Can I tell you something I’ve never told anyone before?”

It takes her a moment to find her voice. Eventually, she says something that sort of sounds like, “Of course.”

He sits in the silence an extra moment, as if still debating whether or not he wants to actually share his secret aloud. It’s an unnerving site for Penelope to behold on Colin’s face, of all things. But as a lifelong expert in bullshit… 

She understands. 

“My dad died almost eighteen years ago. Which is really fucking weird to think about at twenty-seven, knowing that I’ve spent more than two-thirds of my life without him there. But even knowing that…”

He takes a breath.

“At every major life event — every wedding or birthday or whatever — I just keep waiting for my dad to walk through the door and join the rest of us. Like he’s supposed to.”

 His lips part to let out something that sort of sounds like a laugh. 

“Is that strange?”

Although she feels at a complete loss for words, Penelope pushes herself to say anything aloud. To sit in this silence would be too painful. 

“No. Of course not.”

“I just — I don’t want anyone to feel that way about me. Not while I’m alive, at least.” 

Penelope literally gasps. She can’t stop herself.

“Colin —”

“Sorry.” He chuckles. “That was dramatic.” 

“No, I — That’s not —” 

Penelope shakes her head slightly, trying desperately to make sense of everything Colin told her in the last few minutes. To find the proper words to respond to them with.

“If you want to make this change for yourself, then you should do that. You should do whatever it is that makes you happy. But if it’s just for your family, or for —”

“It’s for me, Pen,” he interrupts. “Trust me. I — I’m tired of feeling homesick.” 

Penelope begins to nod. She tries to muster up a smile. She uses these brief seconds of quiet to mull over his words again. To actually envision a reality where Colin isn’t away from her most of the year. She tries not to get too excited. She tries not to get too overwhelmed. 

“What do you think you’ll do with all the time you usually spend travelling?”

“Ideally, I would like to get started on a book.”

Penelope smiles at this. Colin laughs. 

“Sounds strange to say that out loud.”

“I think that’s a wonderful idea, Colin.” 

“Yeah?” he teases, his smirk suddenly making a reappearance. “You don’t think my plans are a bit mad?”

“A bit.” She laughs softly. “But that’s the best type.”

꙳ ꙳ ꙳

Day 21

Out of the corner of her eye, Penelope sees her mum’s name and picture pop up on her phone. She turns the screen over — out sight, but not out of mind — by the second buzz. Turning her attention back to the TV screen ahead, she sighs.

Before Sunrise was probably not the wisest choice of movies to watch with Colin tonight. But she had never seen it before and the plot sounded intriguing, so she was willing to put herself in the uncomfortable position of watching a romantic movie with her platonic friend. (After all, they made it through When Harry Met Sally last week relatively unscathed.) She had not expected it to be this romantic, though.

When her phone starts buzzing again, Penelope clears her throat. 

“Have you ever done anything like this?” 

“What?”

She nods her head towards the screen ahead. Towards the two young lovers sitting on the steps of a statue in Vienna. 

“You know… Met a stranger on a train and ran off to explore a city together.” 

Colin reaches forward to grab the remote control and pause the movie. When he turns to look at her, his expression is made up of disbelief.

“No,” he says, with the same tone someone would use after being asked if they’ve ever sprouted wings and flown to the moon. 

“This —” He points a finger towards the screen. “— only happens in movies. If I asked a woman on her way to Paris to get off with me in Vienna, she’d have me thrown off the train.”

“My question was not that ridiculous,” Penelope contends. “You spend more time on trains than anyone else I know. You’re certainly better at making friends out of strangers than anyone else. I think this —” She shoots her index finger towards the screen. “— is the exact type of situation you would find yourself in.” 

Colin shakes his head, then settles his gaze on the TV again.

“Those sorts of ‘friends’ don’t compare to the real kind. From my experience, you need to know a person a long time before you can stay up until sunrise talking about nothing together.”

Before Penelope can say anything else, Colin hits play. She doesn’t speak again for another seven minutes. Not until the lovers part and a gentle melody fills the room. 

“What was Vienna like? In real life, I mean.” 

“Beautiful,” he answers, after some thought. “Also very cold, but I suppose that was my fault for visiting it in December.” 

“You think?” she teases.

“Yeah.” He chuckles, wiping his brow with the palm of his hand in boyish fashion. “I think I’d like to go back one day, in a warmer climate.” A beat passes before he tells her, “I think you would like Vienna.” 

Penelope feels a sudden rush of longing in the core of her chest. An image of the Eiffel Tower sparkling at midnight flashes before her. 

“I think I’d like to go anywhere,” she says, sounding more glum than she had intended. It isn’t until the words leave her mouth that Penelope realises just how badly her words could be taken by Colin.

“Not that I’m not enjoying —”

“Come on,” he interrupts, standing up from the couch with his hand extended towards her. Penelope can only stare at his fingers for a moment. 

“What — what are you doing?”

“Come on,” he says again. This time, he doesn’t wait for her to listen or react to his words. He takes her hand into his own and pulls her to a standing position. “Let’s act like we’re in Vienna. Or Paris. Or — wherever, as long as it’s not this little flat in London.” 

“I —” 

Somewhere in the background, movie credits start to roll and a more upbeat song starts to play. 

“Come on,” he says a final time, pulling her around the coffee table so they stand together in the middle of his rug. 

They’ve danced together a few times before. It’s far from a common occurrence, and yet, they’ve picked up a sort-of routine over the years. Unlike most dance routines, there are no specific steps or choreography for them to follow — it’s the speed and distance that’s become so familiar over the years. 

It starts fast — two pairs of feet finding their footing to a song they’ve never heard before. It starts disconnected — their bodies joined only by their intertwined fingers. But then Colin drops one hand and spins her around with the other, and the routine shifts. 

It’s slower now — two bodies swaying together to the beat of the music. It’s less disconnected too — her chest is pressed to his abdomen, one of his arms is snaked around her back. It’s different than it used to be, when they were teenagers and this felt more like a clusterfuck than a routine to Penelope. It’s easier now. More comfortable. 

It’s still silly, but that doesn’t bother her like it used to. 

After several moments staring into his chest, Penelope looks up. Colin was already looking down, but he quickly shifts his gaze to the side, towards the TV. 

After clearing his throat, he asks if she liked the movie. 

Penelope nods. 

“Yes. You were right — it’s a bit of a fantasy. But I like fantasies.” 

When Colin looks back to her, he has the faintest trace of a smile on his lips. 

“I liked Harry and Sally better,” he admits. “I’m not a big fan of ambiguous endings. It feels like a cop-out, leaving us wondering what happens next.”

Penelope furrows her brow, considering his words. 

“I think there are times when ambiguous endings are fitting. But perhaps you should watch the next movie before you make up your mind on this story.” 

“There’s a sequel?!”

Penelope cannot help but giggle. 

“It’s a trilogy. Did you really not know —” 

“Shh… No spoilers. I want to be surprised.” 

Caught off guard by another round of giggles, Penelope unintentionally leans forward, even further into Colin’s chest. Her next words are nearly muffled by the cloth of his jumper. 

“The last movie is when the zombies finally make an appearance.”

“Pen!” 

They dance for another minute or two. As the music fades to nothing, Penelope swears she can hear phantom sounds of a phone buzzing. She does her best to ignore them, though, breathing in Colin’s scent one last time before letting go. 

꙳ ꙳ ꙳

Day 24

Three weeks into sharing a flat with Penelope, Colin has become quite familiar with “the usual bout of insomnia.” Which, while troubling for several reasons, does have its perks. 

Like all the late night tea breaks they’ve shared over the last three weeks. 

When Colin hears the faint sounds of footsteps outside his door at 12:21 AM, he smiles. He pulls himself out of bed. He throws on his nearest shirt. He follows those footsteps down the hall. 

Penelope must have heard him coming. There are two mugs sitting on the counter when he walks into the kitchen. 

“Couldn’t sleep?” he asks, leaning against the sink. 

“Nope.” 

She isn’t quite looking at him. She’s staring at the kettle like she’s willing it to whine. 

“Something on your mind?” 

She shrugs at that. She turns to look at him for a split second. She offers him a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes, as if that tiny gesture will ward off the question he’s about to ask her. 

(It doesn’t.)

“Pen, are you o—”

“I’m fine,” she answers prematurely. “Just the usual bout of insomnia.” 

Suddenly, Colin finds himself at a loss for words. Perhaps it’s the lack of sleep he’s accumulated over the last three weeks. Perhaps it’s due to him ignoring so many of his other (more physical) instincts during that time. Perhaps it’s for some reason that Colin can’t pull out of the darkness right now… But he suddenly finds himself at a loss for how to act around Penelope. 

He knows she’s lying to him. He knows there is something not fine going on with her. But Colin doesn’t know if he should push her on her secret or let it be. 

While he stands there silently flailing, the kettle finally begins to whine. When Penelope hands him his mug, she’s standing taller than she was a moment ago. She’s looking him in the eye again. 

“Can I tell you something I’ve never told anyone before?” she asks, seemingly out of nowhere. 

Though Colin still feels rather speechless, he somehow manages to mumble out an “Of course.” 

Before she speaks again, a complicated look passes on Penelope’s face. It’s hard for him to read, with her face lit by nothing more than the tiny bulb on his stove, but it looks apprehensive — like she’s suddenly unsure of the secret she is about to confess. 

“It’s just — It’s a family secret.” She laughs a little. “One I’ve never actually discussed with my family before, but…”

The mention of her family instantly raises alarm bells in Colin’s mind. In all their years of friendship, he has never known “family” to be a particularly happy subject for Penelope. But the last thing he wants to do is dissuade her from confessing what is so clearly weighing on her mind, so he tries to keep his face neutral. 

“Your secrets are safe with me, Pen. Always.” 

After one last moment of contemplation…

“My father didn’t actually die of a heart attack.” 

What the fuck?

“Pen —”

“I mean — technically speaking, I suppose he did die of cardiac arrest. But I don’t think it’s exactly true to say someone ‘died of a heart attack’ when they also happened to have a few grams of cocaine in their system when they dropped dead.”

There are a million words currently running through Colin’s head — none of which he can string together into an appropriate response to the bombshell Penelope just handed him. But every millisecond that passes without response kills him. As his mouth hangs open, her eyes grow wider, and the silence between them gets louder, Colin feels it critical to say something. Anything. Anything but this silence. 

“Did you say you’ve never discussed this with your family before?” might not have been the best thing to say… But it certainly was something.

Penelope shakes her head. 

“On the morning that he died, mum told us it was a heart attack. And now that I think about it, no one’s really brought it up again in the last six years. But, um, right after he died, I overheard her whispering about it with Varley. After the funeral, I snuck into his study and found the autopsy report. And um…” 

“Pen, that’s —”

“Bad. I know.” She laughs again, an awful sound. One that does not help the nausea currently building in Colin’s gut. “Saying it out loud, it sounds…” 

She laughs. Again. 

“Crazy.”

“It’s not crazy,” Colin says quickly. “It’s just — I don’t think that’s the sort of thing you should keep to yourself for six years. I —”

“I know,” she interjects, sounding more tired than anything else. “I think I stored it away in some hidden part of my brain for most of that time, though. It was surprisingly easy to ignore. For a while, at least.” 

Colin still doesn’t quite know what the right thing to say is. But he says, “I’m glad you told me,” anyway.   

They move to the big blue couch down the hall after that, sipping tea and talking about everything and nothing well into the hour of 2 AM. When he notices Penelope yawning for the third time in two minutes, he regrettably decides to wrap things up. 

“Anything else you want to get off your chest? One member of the Dead Dads Club to another?”

“No.” She laughs for the final time that night. It’s so soft that it’s nearly inaudible, but at least it’s real. “You’ve done more than enough listening for one night. Thank you, Colin.” 

He wants to tell her not to thank him for such a thing. He wants to tell her he would forgo sleep forever, if it meant he could stay awake listening to the sound of her voice. He wants to say so much, but before he can utter a single word, Penelope hugs him. It’s all shoulders and hands. It’s over too quick. 

Without another word, Penelope disappears into Benedict’s bedroom. She shuts the door behind her. 

꙳ ꙳ ꙳

Day 25

The last two days had been good. 

Colin spent much of those two days waiting for Penelope’s good mood to shift suddenly. For her to frown at her phone or innocently ask if she can tell him a secret, only to reveal one of the most devastating pieces of information he has ever heard in his life just a moment later. But no. 

The last two days had been good. 

Colin made sourdough bread from scratch. Penelope won Scrabble twice. She also succeeded in uncovering the name of Benedict’s new friend in Southampton (Sophie). They watched Before Sunset. They watched When Harry Met Sally again, after Colin declared that he did, in fact, like that movie better. 

The last two days had been good. So good, that Colin has finally stopped waiting for the other shoe to drop. So good, that he doesn’t anticipate the utter gut punch he receives from Penelope now, at approximately 11:52 PM, when she utters eleven words into her mug.

“I’m going home, to my mum’s place, for a few days.”

For longer than he realises, Colin stands silent, tea already growing cold in the mug in his hand. Her words come back to him bit by bit. 

Home.

Mum’s place.

A few days.

 It’s April 5th — for the next few minutes, at least. In a few days…

“Your birthday,” Colin says dumbly, as if those three syllables provide a sensical response to what Penelope just said. Thankfully, she seems to catch his meaning. 

“Yeah.” She shrugs, then forces a half-hearted smile onto her lips. “Mum and I will watch a movie or something. There will almost certainly be red wine involved. It might actually be… fun.” 

Though her words reek of positivity, the look on Penelope’s face tells Colin that she posses about as much faith in that last word as he does. 

(None.) 

“We were gonna do that Zoom thing with my family.” 

“I know,” Penelope mutters, a mix of guilt and regret flashing on her face. “We can still do that, just…”

“Just with me as one of the little faces on your screen?” 

An inaudible, tragic gasp escapes her lips. 

“Col—”

Belatedly hearing how needy he sounds, Colin takes a breath and rethinks his strategy. 

“Sorry,” he interrupts. “I just — I know that you haven’t stayed at home in forever and I…” He takes another breath. “I don’t want you to have to go there, if you don’t want to.”

Lit by barely any light at all, Penelope’s eyes change as she keeps her gaze set on Colin. She looks sad. Almost angry. When she finally speaks, her voice is bizarrely calm. 

“Philipa’s in Kent with the baby. Prudence ran off with her boyfriend in Bristol. No one else is here and…” 

She takes a breath, one that threatens to break Colin’s resolve and bridge the one metre gap between them. It’s over before he can lift his left foot, though. 

“I don’t want my mum to have to be alone right now. The past few weeks here have been… perfect. And I really can’t thank you enough for convincing me to stay here in the first place. But I think it’s time for me to go home.” 

Penelope goes quiet, patiently looking up at him, waiting for him to say something. Anything. But he can’t. There’s one word echoing in his mind too loudly for him to conjure up anything even remotely sensical.

Home. 

For Colin’s entire life, “home” meant a lot of things. The house on Grosvenor Street. Aubrey Hall. His parents. His siblings. The light at the end of a long journey.

“Home” meant a lot of things to Colin over the years, but the word has always been inextricably linked to happiness. After growing up together, after witnessing her avoid Grosvenor Street like the plague since she left for Cheltenham, after hearing her voice crack on that last word…

It kills him, but Colin knows “happiness” is not something Penelope has ever associated with “home.”

Penelope opens her mouth to say something. Anything. Anything to just break the silence. But Colin beats her to it. 

“Please, don’t thank me for stealing you away from the rest of the world the last few weeks. Whatever you do next…” 

He takes a breath. 

“You deserve to be where you’re happy. If that means going back to your flat in Hyde Park, staying here, staying with your mum, stealing my car and driving to Scotland to see El…”

Another breath.

“Whatever it is, I just want you to —”

“This is what I want, Colin,” she promises. “With everything that’s going on right now, I just keep thinking about my father and…” 

When her voice trails off, Penelope seems to notice the mug in her hand for the first time in several minutes. She takes a sip before continuing. 

“I know it’s a bloody awful thing to say out loud, but I keep thinking about what would happen if my mum dropped dead tomorrow. I think it would kill me to know that I never even tried to make things better between us.”

Colin desperately wants to ask her if Portia Featherington is really someone worth trying for, knowing all the pain she has inflicted upon her youngest daughter over the last twenty-five years. But in the end, he holds his tongue on the matter. He doesn’t know what he can say to make anything better. 

“So, uh… When would you be leaving?” 

Penelope shrugs, lifting her mug to her lips again. “The morning after next, I think.”

Colin looks down at the mug currently gripped in his left hand, not wanting to look straight ahead anymore. When he raises it to his lips and takes the first sip, the tea is just barely holding onto its warmth. 

“Right,” he says, eyes still cast downward. 

She excuses herself to find some sleep shortly after. It isn’t until Colin watches her walk out of the kitchen and into the darkened hallway that it really hits him. That, not 36 hours from now, Penelope will leave his flat. That he has no idea when she’ll be back. 

He can feel that revelation sinking in, upending his nerves and wrenching his heart. If the last 25 days have taught him anything, it’s this. Penelope is home to him, and that he’s fucking tired of feeling homesick. 

꙳ ꙳ ꙳

Day 27

When Colin’s eyes first open Tuesday morning, his bedroom is still shrouded in darkness. He supposes it could still be the middle of the night, but when he turns on his side and catches those red, taunting lights, they inform him that the day is about to begin.

6:16 AM.

Groaning, Colin exits his sheets. He throws on the closest set of clothes (grey sweatpants and a burgundy Cambridge sweatshirt). He exits his bedroom with the intention of running straight to the fridge. But as soon as he swings open the door, his sluggish footsteps stop short. 

Penelope’s sitting on the couch with her back turned to him. She’s looking out the window in wait for the sunrise — waiting for the grey London skyline to bleed into a slightly lighter shade of grey. After a few seconds of him silently standing in his doorway, she turns her head to look at him.

She smiles. 

“Good morning.” 

“Morning,” he echos, stepping over to where she sits on the big blue couch. He plops down on the cushion next to hers. “Couldn’t sleep?” 

“Nope.”

“Me neither.”

They sit in silence for a little while, twiddling their thumbs and flicking their eyes between the window and each other. When the room settles into the brightness of daylight, Colin turns his full attention on Penelope. 

He has resisted many instincts over the last twenty-seven days. This morning — Penelope’s last morning here — he doesn’t even consider resisting his instinct to pull her in close. His arms wrap around her back and her chin settles on his shoulder.  

Unprompted, he whispers “We’re gonna be okay” into her hair, which smells of honey. He hadn’t intended for those words to come out as a question, but he can’t help but hear them as such once committed to air. 

Whether it's an answer or a concurrence, Penelope immediately nods into his shoulder. 

“If you want to come back, Pen… The door is always open.”

“I know,” she mumbles into his sweatshirt.

Forty-seven minutes later, Colin watches Penelope walk out of his flat, leaving him alone for the first time in weeks. Leaving him with a sinking feeling that nothing will ever change between them. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------

From the other end of the rug, Colin shoots Penelope an all too familiar look. His chin is tilted downward. His eyes are squinting slightly. The edges of a smirk are creeping up his lips. 

He’s priming her, about to smooth talk his way into getting exactly what he wants. He’s expecting another battle. Another argument. A debate. 

He’s wrong, of course. At this current moment in time, Penelope wants nothing less than to discuss the merits of another technicality. 

“It —”

“Yes, fine. It counts,” she interrupts, hoping her words don’t deceive her interests too transparently.

“Really?” Colin asks, face breaking out into a full on grin. 

“Yes. I mean, when a couple actually moves in together, at least they have the option to leave during the day to get away from each other. We were stuck in an 800 square foot box together for nearly a month straight — that has to count for something.”

“I like the way you think, Featherington.” 

With that, Colin picks up his phone again.

[mariyekos]

2024 Writing Count

Oh yeah! I've talked about it on Twitter, but I don't think I've mentioned it here: I'm keeping track of my fics/wordcount for 2024! I did it back in 2021, and then kept track of it for a few months in 2023, but this year I'm back at it again with more detail than ever.

Here's what it looks like. The further I get the more I add onto it as different things come to mind. I love color coding things, so I have a system: 0 word days get red, 1-99 word days get yellow, 100-499 word days get light green, 500-999 word days get medium green, and 1000+ word days get dark green. I also highlight the end of each month in blue to make it easy to see, and milestones (like hitting 50k in January!) are in blue!

More details, including a view of all days, beneath the cut!

Month-by-Month

January was my best month so far. That's when I started the longfic I'm currently plugging away at, which got me most of that word count. As in, it got me over 50k of that word count, because once I realized I was so close to 50k not just for the month but for a single fic, I powered through to the end. January was a month where my main focus was getting ideas down rather than shooting for top-of-the-line quality. You can't fix a fic that isn't written, so step 1 is to write! Right now I'm actually going through what I wrote and re-writing it, which is slow work but worth it.

February was okay. March was a bad month for me, and where I finally lost my "1 word a day" goal. You can tell how hard I was struggling in the middle there, which was from a combination of lack of sleep, lack of time (work and FFXIV prog were exhausting, plus I was trying hard to get through FFVII Rebirth before being spoiled (I failed)), and lack of motivation/inspiration. I got absolutely slammed by doubt and feelings of inadequacy, combined with some realizations about my longfic which means I had to do a MAJOR overhaul that I was absolutely dreading.

April was pretty good! I got slammed by motivation to finish a fic that I'd struggled with before and finally finished and published it. I'd been hesitating because I felt like I was getting that vibe out of another fic, but after struggling with that one I went back to the one I'd eventually publish and had a blast. It was very self-indulgent and I've realized that that's okay! I've rambled vaguely on this blog about it, but it was the fic where I knew I was diving deep into a fanon interpretation of a character that's not really seen in canon, and was worried about how it would be received.

In the end I decided whatever. I know it's fanon, but I love that fanon and clearly other people love that fanon too, so I decided I'd just post it. It has a lower kudos:hit ratio than my other fics but honestly? I don't care. I had so much fun writing it and I got two (2!!!!) whole comments on it so I'm over the moon. If my writing makes even one other person happy, that's fantastic. This fic I decided was ultimately for me in the end, and internalizing that it's okay to be self-indulgent has helped me a lot. When you're okay with self-indulgence, it frees you from a lot of worry and you just get to be happy writing the stuff you love.

Of course, I'm not completely over that. I still really want to get things right. I still do check over things to see how well they align in canon and to try to fix characterization and so on. I still want my fics to be good- it's just that I've changed my standards for what a good fic is to be more about quality than being an exact replica of canon. My current fic (the now 88k Time Travel Fic) is undergoing a massive overhaul right now as I not only improve micro-level things like grammar and phrasing, but also as I work to improve macro-level things like overall flow.

That's the sort of stuff that I think makes me a better writer. It might not always lead to very high word count, but I don't always need to have high word count. Sometimes a low wordcount day where I feel like I improved my craft is more than worth it.

Take these two days in April- ~250 words a day, lower than my monthly average of 1,050, that I'm perfectly fine with because I did more than 504 words worth of work that day, IMO. You can see on the second one that I finished Before the Nightmare, which is one of the DMC novels. That day I didn't get in many words because I spent my time researching instead, and that was worthwhile! On the day before it, I spent time revising the timeline and outlining things rather than adding to the main body of the fic itself, which again I think was more than worth the time! Having WCs is a good method of tracking things. I'm a numbers person. Seeing big numbers makes me happy. But there is more to writing than just working on the stuff readers are going to see! More that is important and improves your craft! Which is why I decided to include outline counts, for one. That and I'm the type of person who writes full sentences or even paragraphs into my outlines that I will take almost word-for-word into the fic itself so I might as well attribute it to the day I wrote it, rather than the day I copy-pasted it in, y'know?

How The Tracker Works

Some other stuff you might notice are the following:

My notes are a mix of me commenting on what I wrote in the fic and me commenting on whatever's going on in my life. For example, on January 17th I wrote "Went back 2 boys fighting convo" which is about what I wrote in the fic, whereas on January 25th I wrote "Super sleepy. Too late" and on March 2nd I wrote "FFVII Rebirth is amazing." which is instead about why I only wrote so much! Going back to my 2021 word count, I found my notes to be a really interesting snapshot into what was going on in my life at the time, so I don't mind making it a mix of both.

In the above, you can see that the Daily WC doesn't equal the Diff (End-Start WC), because in the comments section I mention that I wrote 3675 for another fic. (The 3675 is from the Fic in the Fic box there, while the 801 is from my Time Travel fic, which is the one with 80k words). But on days where I work on multiple fics I'm usually feeling active enough to be happy to do the very simple math of adding two things together, so I don't mind having to combine a few. If you check the picture above this one for March, you can see that the Daily WC = Diff. for every day that has a Start and End WC. The ones where there isn't a start or ending WC is because I just used the word count function in my document program since I wrote so little it was easy to figure things out.

There's also the Fic List section way back in my first picture, which just includes every fic or fic-adjacent (i.e. tumblr posts where I basically wrote a mini-fic that I will one day turn into a proper post) included in the main word count area. I also included the number of days I worked on each by occurrence. Given the way I track things it does mean that a few fics will be missing a few days because I can only mention one in the fic box (while having it function) so only one gets counted per day, even on days I work on two, but it's close enough that I think it's still a good way of keeping track! I copied the document Geryon partway through the year once I started some major restructuring so that one's split in two, but for the count I made the function count both Geryon and Copy of Geryon so it's just up in Geryon. The reason it's split is that I decided to automate that section rather than doing things manually, which means it include the - day and splits Geryon in two which I wouldn't do if I was doing it manually.

2021 Word count Document

As you can see, things were a lot simpler back in 2021. Both in terms of visuals and things I was keeping track of. One of the biggest changes from 2021->2024 was the addition of the Start and End word counts for each day. When I was doing 2023 I realized how much I hated doing the math in a separate tab, deleting it, fixing the formatting, and then putting the number into the daily total.

Then while talking to a friend (@/dithorba) about word counts, she showed me her document which had a start/end count on it and I felt like my eyes were open. So often I would get to the end of the day and realize I had math to do but would put it off, then do it again, then again, and then trying to figure out my word counts would result in a ton of going through document history, restoring documents, checking word count, restoring it to a different version, checking word count, etc. It became a chore that messed with my totals. (Which is funny because I actually love math! That specific math just was a sticking point for some reason). Then Monse/dithorba showed me the way and I decided I'd add that into my document, even if it "clutters" it up a bit by adding extra rows. I still kept Daily Wordcount separate from the total though, since sometimes I'll work on multiple fics so the start to end count on one fic doesn't represent all the writing I do in one day.

2024 Daily Totals So Far

I got so close to all greens for April and I'm really bummed about missing it because I just plain forgot to write more on my one yellow day. Yeah I was struggling a bit, but I could've written more and forgot to make sure I'd hit 100 before going to bed. Oh well. It was a really good month otherwise. I'll probably revise the color scheme in the bottom row later on so it's more evident which word counts had the most days per month, but for now it works as-is.

Last but not least, here's a link to the twitter thread where I go on about this year's writing. It technically starts in December of 2023 because I turned my thread about my longfic into my thread for all my fic writing in 2024, so whoops to that, but good enough.

This post could be longer but it's long enough as it is, so I'll leave it like this for now. Maybe I'll come back and edit it with more information later. I'll probably RB with additions a few times in the year too!

[4denthusiast]

So, the Celsius vs. Farenheit thing is obviously silly, in that people are just going to find whichever they're used to more intuitive, but that said...

I disagree with the "Farenheit uses digits more efficiently for everyday discussions about the weather" thing. A single degree Farenheit seems to me imperceptibly small. A single degree Celsius is roughly the limit of what I find perceptible, but is still a pretty small, insignificant difference. People who say Farenheit uses its digits more effectively seem to be basically just ignoring the 10^0 digit and just using the 10^1 digit instead. That's not efficient. I'm not sure I'd say Celsius is significantly better. "20"/"low 20s"/"mid 20s"/"high 20s" (in Celsius) seems to be about the level of precision people normally use.

This suggests that a temperature scale that's actually optimised for using its digits effectively for everyday use would be roughly a few times the size of Celsius. There happens to be just such a scale, one that pre-dates both Celsius and Farenheit even: degrees Newton. 0°N=0°C=32°F, so we keep the freezing point of water as a nice landmark, very relevant to discussing the weather. A difference of 1°N is roughly 3°C or 5.5°F. A large proportion of normal weather is in the range 0°Q to 9°N, necessitating only a single digit (how's that for efficiency?). A single degree is a small but clear difference, around the level of precision people normally use. If you want to go to fractional degrees, that's fine, but it's marked as something unusually precise. Maybe they'd do that in weather forecasts. 10°N, a clear milestone, is about 30°C or 87°F, which is distincly hot weather. 20°N is roughly the maximum recorded temperature the weather on Earth has reached. The next big milestone, 100°N, doesn't really correspond to anything important I can think of. It's pretty high even for cooking, just slightly higher than the melting point of lead.

Newton's scale does have a major disadvantage that it's not actually clearly defined, since Newton only gave a single reference point, but that's not relevant to the current discussion. Maybe something slightly more fine-grained than degrees Newton would be a little better. I was originally going to use my own made-up scale with units of 2.5°C for this post before learning that the Newton scale already exists.

Anyway. Obviously I'm not actually proposing that people adopt Newton's temperature scale. Pretty much any temperature scale vaguely around the range of Celcius/Farenheit/Newton/Rømer/whatever would do fine for everyday use (even Kelvin wouldn't be that bad, just so long as you're not using something like joules (≅7.25*10^22 K)). I just wanted to make the point that the "Farenheit uses its digits efficiently." thing isn't actually right, it's just that Farenheit uses its digits in the way that Farenheit users are used to.

[bcofl0ve]

I love Kaia, but you congratulate her so much for where she is now but you don’t congratulate Austin for working hard for decades with no connections and getting where he is. I find that weird. Can you explain why? I’m not looking to attack just a conversation. And then you sort of just accused him of using Kaia and her connections. He still works very hard to get what he has. Nobody is hiring him because he knows Cindy Crawford. His dedication hard work and talent is why he gets hired.

well she was on a late night show last night and he was not- that's the simplest possible answer here. i post about what's going on and when she's doing more publicly than him at any given time then that's going to bleed over to who i post more about. during mota and dune press i barley posted about *her* to the extent that i got some anons asking if i still liked her! i think that's just how running a blog for more than one person shakes out, i'm sure i'll "fall behind" with posting about her when bikeriders press starts and we're seeing more of austin out and about.

and it was her first *ever* late night interview, which is a big deal! and getting to experience a milestone like that for someone i'm a fan of was really nice. i wasn't in the fandom for austin's first late night appearance, i would've jumped up and down and cheered for that too if i was. last fall when the first bikeriders reviews came out of telluride and they were so glowing about austin it made me *cry* over how proud i was. and then i got a few anons bitching at me asking why i "didn't think he was capable" and "had to prove himself" lol. when i say it feels like i can never win on here...

i've said multiple times on both here and twitter in the past almost 2 years that ive run this blog that i'm very proud of austin. me also being proud of kaia/enjoying seeing her hitting milestones like late night interviews this doesn't negate that at all. i'm proud of them in like- different ways if that makes sense? austin, for like what you said, putting his nose to the grindstone and hustling to get to where he is now. kaia for going after her dreams re: acting vs modeling and for what she's doing to grow her passion project, book club/library science.

and no, i didn't accuse him of that. i said in a preceding tweet that that absolutely not why they're dating. their relationship isn't fake or "just for connections" on either side! it *is* however ridiculous when people accuse kaia of only using austin for his connections when she, as a nepo baby, has a million connections of her own and doesn't "need him" to get her foot in the door in the industry. isn't that the whole reason ppl are anti nepo baby? the "privilege of connections"?.

anyone who would genuinely suggest austin is only using kaia for her connections is also goofy bc their relationship isn't PR/i think it's clear he's with her because he wants to be with her. it's just hypocritical, and a little silly to act dating a nepo baby as a non nepo baby comes with absolutely 0 connections benefit at all. and that's not a bad thing either! as a huge fan of laura dern i love that she’s a mentor to him/they're buddies now bc of it! george clooney came to his defense when asked about his voice bc, as george said himself, the time he's spent around austin because he's dating his best friend's daughter. the 'butterfly effect' is pretty damn cool. i don't see it as an insult to chat about.

[hansolz-moved]

hello, my loves! today marks 2 months since i began creating gifs (and the occasional gfx) on tumblr and i also reached an incredible milestone last night; 500 followers! i cannot help but feel extremely honored and appreciative of every single one of my followers and mutuals. it shocks me that i've grown and improved so quickly as a content creator, and especially that there are so many people who are willing to come on board with me to support me and observe my growth. i cannot express my gratitude enough. ♡

unfortunately, i am tremendously busy and cannot find the time outside of weekends to do anything fun to celebrate :( but at the very least, i wanted to take the time to come and thank some very special people who have contributed so much to my account's growth and to my improvement as a cc

first, some of my darling mutuals — ;

@dokyeomblr miss elv, ily! my very first mutual and one of the kindest, most pleasant people i have ever met. you never fail to make me smile with your tags and comments <3 i have admired you for so long and am so honored to be your friend and moot

@97chwe tris, who is such an inspiration to me and so very talented, who i have been in awe of for the longest; whose tracking tag i will spam endlessly and whose support i will always appreciate so genuinely

@caratonce isai, one of my first mutuals and my caratblr server buddy (we joined almost simultaneously and your familiarity was so helpful to my anxious self), i love u sm. your personality is phenomenal and your work follows. im so happy to know you and call you a friend

@soonhoonsol chey, who so consistently reblogs my content and always has the sweetest things to say. i looked up to you prior to joining as a cc and i feel so lucky to be your moot!

@jminwook bbie, one of my newer mutuals and another victim of my tracking tag spamming, who is so very supportive and so sweet

@junranghae noa, my milestone buddy (congrats again!!0 and fellow huihui! i appreciate you so much, you are so dope and always so supportive of my content! it doesn't go unnoticed at all, thank you.

@junkwan jenna, my evil twin (or am i the evil one?) — i miss seeing u around the server! you are so fun to be around and i love being ur mutual and ur friend!

@aceofvernons xan, who is normal by no stretch of the imagination yet kind and supportive of their friends on a level that is incomparable. i truly appreciate you

@wonublr & @knnovations lee and mars, creators with truly mind-blowing skill and talent... who i would still be screenshotting without the help of. i owe you guys so much credit and appreciation &lt;3

other mutuals who i thoroughly appreciate — ;

@jeonwonwoo | @woozification | @shuatonin | @injunnies | @usershua | @xuseokgyu | @shuatm | @seunievrse | @isdokyeom | @blondesoobin | @sunflower-hae | @yeonjuins | @seungkwan-s + many more

and of course, all of my caratblr server friends!

i would also like to say a quick thank you to the following people:

@melanielogs for being a phenomenal friend, for being one of my first followers, and for always believing in me and encouraging me when i didn't believe in myself and wanted to give up.

@taetheists for always listening to my ratio woes and helping me out even if i didn't request it. and yknow.. for letting me use ur photoshop. you're a good friend ♡

and,

@woozi because though i've already told you this, the fact that you so consistently engage with my content and boost it means so much to me. i don't think it's an understatement to say i owe a lot of my success here to you. and what i appreciate more than anything is that you haven't just been supportive of my works since i got good — you were right at the front of the line reblogging my grainy 'i got a free trial of photoshop, lemme mess around' gifsets. it really, truly means a lot to me and I hope you know I will always be grateful.

and with that, I'm done because this is starting to get a little Oscar's acceptance speech-y of me. thank you all so much, i hope that this is just the beginning and that i will be around to be annoying on your dash for a long time to come. ♡

[hexfloog]

2021 - 2022 - 2023

Here's my art summary for 2022! In 2021 I had hoped that the inspo kick would last well into the new year, and... here we are. I produced WAY more this year than I initially thought and actually ran into the strange dilemma of having too much to choose from for this template :0

What a year for art.

I think because of the slow speed at which I produce-- and the relative stylistic consistency of what I do make-- I tend to fall into this trap of thinking I'm not actually going anywhere with my work, but looking back at my portfolio... this really isn't the case.

To put it bluntly, I see improvement from last year to now in the form of risks.

I hit a lot of milestones and firsts since January: I drew another comic, dabbled in several projects in grayscale, drew plenty of complicated backgrounds (or "whole pieces," I suppose), put together at least one .gif sequence, made mockups for merch, made real merch, zine entries... And even beyond 2D work, I wired up my first custom model kit, experimented with new materials, archived an entire TCG set, put together another cosplay, and (maybe most significantly) started writing fic again!!

I'm genuinely surprised by my output. While this year was creatively fruitful, it was maybe one of the worst on my health-- and by extension, my funds-- all around (an ER visit, COVID, some Mystery Issue with my feet... still a mystery to this day, actually) so I am pretty stunned that I managed to tap as far as I did into my creativity overall, especially when compared to 2021, a year I also thought went surprisingly well for art. Deadlines and community events and contests all pushed me into making more than I would on my own terms, so challenging myself a little definitely paid off... who would've thought? >___<

(while shoving my 2022 body of work under the bed) On the flip side, it turns out that throwing my dignity to the wind and shamelessly indulging pushes me to create, too! How many Evil Conans can one person depict in a single year??

...On a more personal level, aside from challenging myself with external motivators I think I was only able to produce as much as I did on account of simply learning to love what I make the way I make it. The vast majority of what I drew this year falls into what I've been referring to (to myself) as "drafts." But they're not drafts as most people would think of them - they're just not fully-polished works. March/November are good examples - contrast against June/August, which are definitely "polished."

It's probably not that big of a deal to other people how I refer to my work in my own company, but this year I seem to have realized that thinking of it in this way-- dismissing the time and effort spent on any one piece as merely "unfinished"-- is actually quite harmful. I have a habit of being harsh on myself and to call these works "drafts" undermines the amount of effort I put into them, and for what? Because they're not "clean" enough for (my own, self-imposed) impossible standards? That alone implies that there's only one way a work can be for it to be good enough, when the truth is that no-one would be none the wiser if I called them "finished" instead.

That's not really to say that I would stop trying to achieve this high-effort "finished" standard since I can get the same amount of mileage for lesser effort or whatever. I don't operate that way, there's a lot of pride and self-esteem tied to my art and I subscribe pretty unconditionally to delivering something that I'm proud of. I guess the key here is that "high" standards should not be "impossible" standards.

Starting from March (probably right around the time of the first DCMK FF Server Exchange), as year the progressed I slowly started warming up to this idea that I don't have to make something perfect to "get credit" for creating it. Perfectionism is an itch I'm still learning not to scratch every time it calls for my attention. And, relating to the exchange, there's something about a gift well-received that puts my guard down, and maybe it's because I'm always bracing for the worst (some imagined rejection of effort, perhaps) that I don't really expect people to so plainly like things I don't consider "good enough" for myself.

I guess what I'm saying is it's probably not an epiphany I would have just had for myself one day. I really don't think I would have realized the inherent hurt in my system if people didn't indirectly point it out to me time and time again, whether that gushing over artwork to my face or in tags or whatever, so... for that I am very grateful T___T

On that note, it has been a rough year for me so I want to express my deep appreciation for everyone who has supported me, whether you're just an art appreciator or an internet buddy, whether you came for ponies or animal mecha or ducks or detectives, whether you've donated at any point or bought something from the shop, commissioned me, etc ;___; I appreciate you all very much and truthfully I would not be creating so much if I didn't think I had an audience who could enjoy it with me. Thanks from the bottom of my heart <3

Wishing everyone a creatively fruitful and healthy 2023!!

if you've gotten this far tysm for reading i'm very stingy about good feelings and being this saccharine about anything takes effort, capital E

[fusilloscotto]

Here’s to 20

A few days ago I turned 20.

It was a weird feeling.

I was actually dreading my 20th birthday, because it meant officially entering adulthood and I was not ready for that. Plus, now that I'm in uni all of my friends are somehow younger than me (and I'm a December baby, so that's saying a lot), so I was the first to reach this milestone, which scared me even more. I braced myself and, just like Dante stepped into the dark wood at the beginning of his Inferno, I prepared to venture into the unknown twenties, ready to face my own private hell. To my surprise, it was a really nice day: I was not scared, I enjoyed myself a lot, everything went smoothly and the world did not end. So of course I started wondering: what was I so scared of?

After a bit of deep thinking, I had a Rachel Green moment and I realised I was behind schedule: I was scared of turning 20 because it meant that the life I imagined for myself while growing up, the one where at 20 everything is perfect and I always know exactly what to do, was not going to happen; it'd just remain a fantasy in my head.

It started when I was 12: my best friend's older sister turned 15 and I was so in awe of it. I remember thinking that, once I turned 15, my life would be just like theirs, because they were so old, mature, cool. I was so so so sure that at 20 my life would be perfect because I would have it all figured out at 15, because 15 is the age you become old... right? WRONG. I turned 15 and I was still a baby. Fifteen was the age I found myself screaming at the tv while rewatching the Little Mermaid: Ariel was talking about being 16 and sooo mature and I got really upset because no?? she was not old?? she was still very much a child and her dad was lowkey right for wanting to protect her.

I'm not gonna lie, I was really confused after my 15th birthday: how could people be defined as grown-ups at 15? Why was I lied to, why did society make me believe I was gonna be an adult at 15? And I know I wasn't the only one thinking this: my friends, my parents, even newspapers were saying that, until a few years ago, people used to look way older than they were, so I couldn't help but wonder what went wrong with our generation?

Did we collectively forget to take a special potion? Did we collectively miss one chapter in the growing-up book? Was there a step-by-step tutorial on Youtube that we were supposed to watch? Maybe we all just expected to magically become adults overnight, so none of us did anything to actually become an adult?

I don't really have the answer to this, however, I have the answer to what my problem was and, technically, still is.

I was talking to my friends about my terror of the big 2-0, and this friend of mine kept saying that in 30 years I'll wish to be 20 again, because 20 will feel so young. The thing is, my problem is not that I feel old... I just don't feel old enough. I don't think I've processed the fact that I'm not a teenager anymore, in my head I'm still 16... I don't feel 20 at all. And I am angry and sad, because the only reason I'm stuck at 16 is that deep down I feel I've been robbed of my teenage years. Everyone says I'm currently in the best years of my life, and I'm missing them because I just cannot move. My head is filled with voices that keep screaming at me to just let it go and be present, and no matter how much I try, I just can't. I can't move super fast like everyone else.

My teenage years are an ex-lover who decided to ghost me, and I need, crave, closure.  And since I'm looking for closure, I keep trying to find my teenage years everywhere I go. And since I'm too busy trying to find my teenage years, I'm missing my twenties.  And when I'll be older, I'll probably start looking for my twenties, and it will just become a never-ending cycle of delusional and vain searching and not living.

Ferris Bueller said it best: "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it".

And I'm tired of missing out.

I can't really blame myself for not being able to move on though: time stopped within a minute, and it never started running again.

One minute I was drinking with my friends, the other I get a text saying there's a quarantine happening.  One minute I am cheering because I have two more weeks to study for my physics test, the other I'm begging to go back to school.  One minute I have my teenage years, the other I am alone in another country blowing 20 candles out.

But I want to change things.

So this is me, being finally old enough and letting go of my teen years. To quote Abbie Lee Miller, "You were great, but you didn't stick out to me".

And I now apologise to my 20s.

I'm sorry if I dreaded you, because you've been treating me pretty nicely for now.  I'm sorry if I ignored you, you are probably way cooler than teenage years anyways. I'm sorry if I haven't been present, I promise I'll try to not waste you from now on.

so here's to 20, one of the best birthdays of my life.

[roguehqs]

𝒄𝒐𝒅𝒆𝒏𝒂𝒎𝒆 ⸻ 𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐚 . . .

⌕   . ˚   ⅋.  「   rachel mcadams. forty-five. cis woman. she/her/hers.  」 islan ardor was recruited as a captain’s crew for the libertalia twenty-four years ago and was given the codename: pandora for their magnetizing but deceitful behavior, typical for the aries. while preparing for a heist they listen to glory and gore by lorde and don’t dare to leave without their most trusted item: a gold-plated garland-esque bracelet fashioned with small purple amethysts made to resemble lilacs, a silver star charm hanging from it.

hi, hello ! my name is lauryn and i use she/her/hers as pronouns. i'm twenty-three and i'm currently in the cst timezone ! below i have an expanded tldr for islan, and a massive biography linked at the way bottom if you'd like to know more ! i know introductions can be overwhelming, so i tried to condense info as much as i could ! to try and make matters a little easier, i've also linked a connections page below that has some ideas. additionally, please heed the trigger warnings as islan's biography contains dark themes. do not hesitate to come to me if any of those triggers are particularly hard for you; i will happily work with you to provide you a tldr that is more accessible to your needs. thanks in advance and i'm so excited to be writing with everyone !

BACKGROUND . . .

[ ! ] TRIGGER WARNING : infertility, emotional child abuse, mention of intentional self-poisoning and running away, theft, divorce mention of addiction

⸻ ┊ 0 0 1  ›  islan is from hiawassee, georgia. she was a miracle baby as her parents had struggled to conceive for years. her birth was celebrated by locals and friends with affluent gifts and praise. she was dubbed a wonder child: a miraculous conception who hit each infant milestone early, was always in good spirits, and was even born with teeth. people swore that islan's presence brought them luck, a superstition that her parents would cling to.

⸻ ┊ 0 0 2  ›  her parents were professors, and insisted on homeschooling islan as education in hiawassee was average. she was offered proper socialization, and thrived in her early years of academics. superstitious witnesses claimed that islan used all of her good luck on her early years, as she hit a standstill around the age of seven. her previously quick progression was stunted, and her status as an anomaly was dwindling. with this, her parents' interest dwindled, as well. it appeared her parents had been more interested in what islan could provide for them than what they could provide for her. her "fortune-giving" abilities seemed to stand still with her progress. islan would later recall three distinct stages to her adolescence: the golden days, the grey days, and the red days. these were the grey days.

⸻ ┊ 0 0 3  ›  her red days offered chaos and misfortune. contrary to her past, islan was locally regarded as a bad luck charm in her teenage years following unfortunate events that happened in her presence. she also began acting out in an appeal for her parents' attention. islan magnetized people and adversity in equal amounts. her parents' indifference evolved to resentment, and islan was given harsh curfews in an attempt to stave off the bad luck. her seclusion bred rebellion, and islan began dating a neighbor in secret. the relationship lasted six months before islan was caught, and was no longer allowed to leave the house without parental company.

⸻ ┊ 0 0 4  ›  this led to islan's chain of attempts to sneak out, each thwarted as her misery increased. more info on specifics of these things in big bio but things got bad, then she went through a period of acceptance. and then she was done accepting her circumstances. a carefully devised plan involving intentional self-poisoning and safe cracking offered her freedom, a successful means of running away. she fled to ocala, florida.

⸻ ┊ 0 0 5  ›  ocala provided independence, liberation, freedom. it was the birthplace of islan's criminal proclivities. perhaps emboldened by her years of stealth in her hometown, she started small. she began pickpocketing locals, stealing from shops. islan also obtained her ged, a waitressing job, and a drivers license here. she weaponized her magnetizing nature, finding a thrill in convincing others to assume risk for her when it came to thievery. islan was angry at the world for her mistreatment. after attention placed on her grew too conspicuous, islan returned to her hometown in search of closure. she also began to experience a crisis of identity between a teenager who experienced childlike wonder and a young adult capable of finding joy in thievery and manipulation.

⸻ ┊ 0 0 6  ›  her return did offer some degree of closure, and she left six months later to bed-stuy with her forbidden first love, arlo. the novelty of their romance wore off quickly for islan, and he grew concerned and tired of her growing criminal presence and activities. she realized she romanticized things too heavily, which is a common theme no matter the part of her life, and he left shortly after they had moved in together. blah blah blah many details but islan really became thief woman in this time and led her own expert heist/thief crew that pulled increasingly risky and lucrative jobs at her direction. her notoriety in the underground grew and she got her offer to join the libertalia at the age of twenty-one

⸻ ┊ 0 0 7  ›  the beginning was more focused on honing existing skills and creating new ones. islan was a natural in many fields and highly adaptable and willing. she was a master of her craft in no time and really threw herself into the libertalia. when she was twenty-six, she started to crave a little bit more of a normal life, so she stopped primarily staying on bases and letting her role consume her life. she got a bungalow in london, made friends, did her own lil criminal things, manipulated more people, indulged in her wealth, and wanted to find a partner. she did when she was 30.

⸻ ┊ 0 0 8  ›  within a year, islan had eloped in canada with her new wife, jade. happy love times + nice marriage and great addition to her life. it was also around this time that islan advanced to take a place in the captain's crew. jade and islan wanted to start a family through surrogacy, with islan designated to carry the child as jade had no interest in pregnancy. but numerous fertility experts conveyed to islan that she wouldn't be able to carry a child to term, and islan also began to realize she was romanticizing the life of being a mother. it wasn't actually something she wanted. so, when jade mentioned adoption, it caused a rift and islan was adamant in not having children. jade grew to be resentful, while islan wanted to work through things. a little bit before their fourth wedding anniversary, jade took off with part of islan's personal fortune and was never heard from again. this left islan fragmented.

⸻ ┊ 0 0 9  ›  the divorce took two and a half years, as jade vanished. islan really took a turn for the worse: working out excessively and partaking in underground fighting, coercing people for sport to a higher degree, developing a penchant for wanton violence, and struggling heavily with addiction. she was a walking tempest with a magnetic nature that brought others into the eye of the storm. her personal struggles did not impact her work, which she threw herself into, at first; she threw herself into her career in the libertalia. she had been regarded as a sort of good luck charm on jobs, and that did not change until she was forty. she usually showed restraint, but islan had overindulged before a job and it was an incredibly costly mistake. and also a wakeup call

⸻ ┊ 0 1 0  ›  cue a short hiatus from the group, some vacations, and some self-discovery. islan checked herself a lil and came back to the libertalia with a new sort of calm. she was still batshit under the surface, which was kinda apparent, but she was more likely to show restraint before acting emotionally. islan came off a bit more indifferent, and her chaotic and destructive habits stuck around but slowed.

⸻ ┊ 0 1 1 ›  ok fast forward to now islan is 45. lives in a beautiful home in london and is sort of in her adult grey days where there is some semblance of stability that she can appreciate. it's very hard to get close to islan, and she is more inclined to connect with those she is already familiar enough with. they may occasionally see a softer side of her, one capable of affection and childlike wonder. islan is deceitful, charming, reckless; a masterful, thoughtful thief keen to impose her disdain of the world onto their mission. it is not wealth she lusts after, but the thrill. the libertalia is an outlet for her need to engage in wickedness, but it's also a family and a home. she is ready to sink with the ship, if need be. after all, what goes up is destined to go down. such a fall is fated, and grows closer each day.

PERSONALITY . . .

⸻ ┊ 0 0 1 › islan is highly manipulative, and preys on those who may be more susceptible to coercion. she carries a confidence befitting of someone who has been the object of desire for the majority of her life; her ego borders on being out of control at times. this is due to her magnetizing nature that naturally draws people to her side, with those who are unsuspecting aiming to please her by any means necessary. for better or for worse, islan is incredibly charming and charismatic. she is shameless and unafraid to speak her mind, with the courage and ferocity to back up any potential conflicts that may occur as a result. there is a level of instability evident in islan, a volcano waiting to erupt. in a way, she has an on and off switch. islan can go from being cordial and playful to violent and destructive in a fraction of a second. her moods are unpredictable, and she emits a certain capability and danger that is enough to instill a hint of fear in others. much like any other charming individual, islan can appear in an entirely different manner when she chooses to. often, if she is trying to elicit a particular response from a stranger, she takes on the role of an almost shy seductress. there is no soul that has come across islan that has not been on the receiving end of a coquettish remark... or ten.

⸻ ┊ 0 0 2 › where most people appear a bit more unstable as you get to know them, islan is the opposite. she radiates demented energy, and all who meet her seem aware of her chaotic, flimsy nature. it almost creates an air of mystery around her; perhaps that’s why getting to know islan demystifies much of the mayhem. it could be a defensive mechanism that drives islan to hostility with new acquaintances, but she can be soft once someone gets to know her. islan can even be affectionate towards those that she has developed a connection with. when she lets her guard down, one might witness a childlike spirit, the same girl that stood in awe of lilacs. vulnerability is saved for those that she is closest to, a select few that have experienced enough of her gentle side for her to be comfortable with displaying honesty and amenability.

⸻ ┊ 0 0 3 › at the forefront of islan is adaptability, just shy of resiliency. islan is capable of acclimatizing to harsh circumstances, but truly bouncing back from them is where she lacks. in a professional setting, islan shows remarkable talent in picking up any skill or task that you throw at her; she truly is a natural. if you were to catch islan in her natural habitat, typically a club or any underground setting, you would meet an impetuous, frisky daredevil that is likely to procure an unbelievable story before the night’s end. islan is a truly restless spirit who will seek thrill at any cost. her intelligence is not to be underestimated, as islan is guileful and self-willed. often, she is praised for her quick thinking in unpredictable situations and her ability to recognize unlikely patterns and options. there was a point in islan’s life in which she had virtually given up; overcoming this, she seized life and then some. that drive is what fuels her, the need to chase the high.

biography. statistics. headcanons. playlist. wanted connections.

[soleadita]

Re your tags about the school major.... literally one of the biggest turnoffs for me about majoring in psych was being preached to by a bunch of middle aged white men about white men theories and they all thought they were the absolute shit and I was SOooooo just. Oh I was so fed up by graduation lol

LITERALLY. literally. oh my GOD. (ok so i tried really hard to answer this normally but it ended up being a rant of epic proportions and in hindsight i fear it's only tangentially related to your actual ask but i spent too long writing it so it's gonna stay.)

most of my professors were, thank god, not quite Like That (mostly older white women, which could be frustrating in other ways, but i cannot imagine having to take a bunch of white man psych dudes seriously for that long, holy shit) but boy oh BOY do i have one specific grievance to air.

so my major was specifically focused on child development (which officially spans ages 0-18 yrs), and basically we went through three years of like The Stages of Development (piaget, erikson, freud, vygotsky, etc) and Theories and The Major Studies and developmental milestones and preschool lab, and then in our fourth year, there was one (1!!!!!!) required class that was essentially like "cultural perspectives on xyz." (the titling of the class was absolute bullshit btw. cultural perspectives? as if we weren't already being taught from a cultural perspective. like, ok.)

the specifics of the class as a whole have mostly been lost to me at this point, but the gist was essentially "by the way, all the super old linear theories of development we've been drilling into your head aren't as widely applicable as everyone acts like they are and may, in fact, lead to detrimental assessments of people whose culture and backgrounds and experiences differ from the white upper-middle class cishet able-bodied male norm." (i did, for funsies, dig through my google docs this evening and skim some of my old notes. SHIT WAS WILD. god.) and i just remember feeling simultaneously super underwhelmed (like, yes, i figured this out two years ago and it would've been nice to get more than 10 weeks worth of a class on it?) and incensed (WHY ISN'T THIS MORE CENTRAL TO THE CURRICULUM FOR THE ENTIRE DEGREE?).

it's like. idk. when i wanted a tamale recipe that would taste close to my grandma's, i googled it in spanish, bc when i google it in english i get assaulted by white lady food blogs. but googling in spanish gives vastly different (and much more helpful) results. and that's kinda how i felt by the end of my degree. like, what would this have looked like if i studied it in other countries and in other languages? what's in their textbooks? who are the other scholars? and that's also tricky, i guess, because i get the sense that academia is pretty gatekept across the board, and it's not like going to other places is gonna change that necessarily? but still. other non-us-centric perspectives at the fucking least.

and the thing that kills me is like...wouldn't this be so much more exciting if we could pick this apart and examine it from multiple angles? and wouldn't you be equipping these future teachers or occupational therapists or social workers etc etc so much better? and wouldn't your research be stronger? and wouldn't you be able to better understand and serve and care for the children and families you're trying to work with? and how are you content to sit in your tenured position and teach the same shit quarter after quarter when you know there's SO MUCH MORE TO THE PUZZLE that you're NOT LOOKING AT?

ANYWAY. this is so far removed from the original point. i'm so sorry. i just love bitching and commiserating about shit like this. <3

[covecornerarchive]

Anonymous asked:

Could I request Percy and Janice friendship headcanons? :0

THE SIBLINGS THE SIBLINGS THE SIBLINGS THE SIBLINGS-

Keep in mind this is just them in my version of CC not in canon or the common fanon.

When Janice first came to Candle Cove, Percy was actually the first person she met. She'd just woken up on an island and Percy who was out scouting just stumbled across her and panicked because "Oh my god there is a kid here why is there a kid here what do I do with it do I take it home oh god oh jeez oh damn-"

In the beginning, Percy actually wasn't very fond of her as he didn't think a child her age should be on a pirate ship and found her sort of annoying. In the beginning of the series before his character development Percy was quite a bit more selfish in his cowardice so even though she wanted him to like her he wasn't Janice's favorite either (that honor was given to Poppy almost immediately).

It wasn't until Janice and Nathan ended up going with Percy to help scout out an island the crew landed at and got caught up in a small adventure that lead them to meeting Banana King that Percy and Janice really started making a connection and Percy began falling into that protective big brother role.

Janice is naive, extremely curious, and despite being unsure of herself is always hungry for fun and adventure, so she's bound to get herself into trouble, and Percy is often the one having to force his fear to the side so he can help her out of it. Janice has her fair share of encouraging Percy to push through tough problems despite his fears too. They balance each other out.

I like to think Janice with her curiosity and circumstance actually starts reminding Percy a lot of Thade and their relationship which may be another part of his protectiveness over her.

I actually have an idea where Percy's character development is tied to his skill on the piano and is represented by it over the course of the series. In the early episode "Percy's Piano," he really wants to play like he used to be able to but just can't and is really bad, but as the story goes on every time he makes a milestone in his character arc (becoming more courageous and selfless in spite of his fear and traumas) he goes back to the piano and gets a little better at it, Janice encouraging all the way. The final scene in the final episode of the series, Percy though still not perfect at it, offers to teach Janice a song on it, which is actually a reflection of how he taught Thade to play a song back on the Tarantula Crew.

Percy loves Janice so so much man I don't know what to say that's just a big brother right there.

Janice is super small so keeping up with the rest of the crew leaves her pretty wiped out (tho she'd never admit it) and at the end of the day it wasn't uncommon for Percy to carry Janice on his shoulders when going back to the ship.

Percy has insomnia so he's usually up late, and later in the series Janice basically has a night terror every night (thanks Skin-taker) so because he's always up anyways Janice usually joins him in his hammock and he'll sometimes tell her stories until she falls back asleep.

He lets her wear his coat when it's cold. It too big for her and she loves it.

Percy is the first person ever Janice really told about her guilt over her mother's and friend's deaths and also the first to reassure her that it was never her fault.

Because he's the crew's main scout and navigator, Percy knows a lot about the stars and Janice loves going up with him to the crow's nest so they can gaze at them and Percy can teach her about different constellations and how to find her way around with them.

I like to think later when Janice gets older she and Percy have a matching braid in their hair (also she ends up being a little taller than him which he is NOT fond of).

Percy gladly lets her give him makeup and do his hair.

Throughout the series Janice's main weapon is a trusty little slingshot she shoots sharp rocks from and yeah, Percy gave her that. I'm debating whether to make it so it used to be his when he was young or not.

(August 4, 2022)

[kataiki]

Things I've been up to - Part 1/x

I think as you settle into adulthood, things just don't seem to change as much. I've been in this house for 12 years. I've been at my job for 14. I've been married for 8. When I think about what I've done in the last 10 years, it all kind of gets mashed together. All of the major milestones in my life were ~10 years away, and I still think about them as yesterday because... there hasn't been much since.

I think when I was a kid, I took massive upheavals of my life for granted. Year 0, I was born. That turned out to be pretty significant, I guess. Five years later I was in school. 4 years later I changed schools. 4 years after that I was in high school. 4 years later I was in college. 4 years later I graduated and settled into this life i live now.

It was easy to see the checkpoints in my life when my whole environment flipped upside down every 4 years or so. Stuff like getting married didn't really register because I've known my husband for more than half my life and the only thing that changed was our taxes.

My friends and I were looking at old pictures of us from high school and college. They were silly and embarrassing, and at some point we kind of stopped taking pictures. Part of it was that we were more of the Polaroid generation rather than Instagram. We didn't like having our stuff online. We liked having albums, and eventually that fell away.

The other part was that we were embarrassed of our younger selves and wanted to shed some skin to grow into the lives we crafted for ourselves. Now that we have, though, we look back and maybe regret that the memories over the last decade are harder to recall.

So we started thinking about pictures again. We're still not social media people, but we have the tech to privately host our own space on our own machines. Maybe this is the compromise we need to start building albums and scrapbooks again.

Likewise, I guess this is part of the reason why I started this whole thing again. I miss writing. I miss drawing. I miss Hot Take Tuesdays where I say something and then delete it shortly afterward. There's so much I want to say about the world we live in. There's so much good in my life that I want to share. So maybe I'll do that